#I'm not even sure I'm made for these studies. I have no ambition I just want to make people happy with music but the kind I love doesn't

[sschmendrick]

Gotta write a production report for two songs we recorded and I'm gonna have to do at least a third of it for a group of 6 after having done about half of the recording and editing work for one of these two projects...all that cause I still haven't found an internship so I can't just say : do it without me.

It's a little exhausting. I know they will work if I really push them but they'll do it super late and I'll have to revise it when I get back home from the small concert I've allowed myself to go instead of my portuguese lesson (brazilian artist so it's all good my teacher said, I still feel bad) and I'll have to run around tomorrow morning to print it and I'll assume the cost again.

It's...yeah it's exhausting. And my thesis is so far behind, and I still have no internship. I wanna keep strong but man that diploma is slipping away from me. I'm not even sure I have good enough grades at my exams now !

[wordstome]

now that we don't talk

I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost Now that we don't talk

alpha colonel König x beta ex-lover reader

2nd person, no y/n, she/her pronouns, reader's callsign is Eden, reader speaks French, omegaverse, exes to lovers, fraternization

2.2k words

tw: none

I swear to God one day I'll write something that doesn't involve that big hooded freak. But today is not that day.

Shoutout to loganlermanstanaccount here on Tumblr, who I won't tag. The bullet point headcanons with written parts interspersed format is from their excellent college roommate Miguel O'Hara post, which became their fic Rigor Mortis. I highly recommend both!

Also, excuse the absolutely butchered military content. I'm sure none of this is how it works in real life, but alas, this is fanfiction, not a research paper. Reader serves a Laswell-like role, but I refrained from labeling her as CIA even though I do call her a station chief. For the purposes of this fic, she's the voice in the operatives' ear during ops. We're playing a bit fast and loose with the terminology here.

You’re a highly skilled intelligence agent and operative handler.

You’ve spent most of your life dedicated to your career: moving through the ranks, proving yourself, refusing to let anything stand in the way of your ambitions.

You’ve done some things you aren’t proud of, but always for the right reason. Or the reason that made the most cold, logical sense. Even when your heart tells you otherwise. Nobody in this line of work has clean hands, after all.

You’ve always done what needs to be done. For everyone’s best interest.

Today marks the first day of your collaboration with a PMC called KorTac. You’re hunting down a homegrown cult turned out-of-control terrorist cell.

You haven’t had much experience working with mercenaries, but in terms of hardened war criminals, KorTac’s people are quite well mannered.

Not that you had expected them to be rude and discourteous, but, well. You are an outsider. They haven’t necessarily embraced you, but their reception was nice enough.

You’ve got a meeting with their commander, but you can’t quite find the room you’re supposed to be meeting in. Not a great first impression to make, but luckily, someone takes pity on you.

He introduces himself. Korean. Callsign Horangi.

“You’ll get used to the layout of the base,” he says as you follow him through winding hallways.

“I hope so,” you reply. “I’ll be here for a while." You study the walls, the signs and numbers on the doors, trying your best to memorize everything.

"Do you know your commander well?" you ask. You're not the world's biggest fan of small talk, but you may as well know what you're walking into.

"König? Yeah, we've been close ever since he joined up." Horangi says, leading you into a long hallway. "He's a good guy. A little intense, but don't let that get to you. He's just getting the job done."

"We'll get along if he's competent." You can respect a man who forgoes pleasantries for making sure the shit gets shoveled.

"You don't have to worry about that." Horangi stops and holds the door open for you. "After you."

You study him for just a moment before entering the room. He's curt and to the point. Not bad-looking, either. Hopefully you'll get more chances to—

Your heart nearly stops.

KorTac's commander is facing away from the doorway, shuffling through some papers by the looks of it. But you would know him from any angle. The set of his shoulders, the way his stance is at ease but never truly relaxed, the way his hair curls at the nape of his neck.

You have to force yourself to step into the room. And when you do, he turns around.

You're vaguely aware of Horangi stepping around you to get into the room, but that's happening somewhere far away from the headspace you occupy right now. By the way König's eyes widen as they meet yours, he's in the same place too.

He hasn't aged so much as he's gotten more tired. He never did sleep enough, but now he looks like he hasn't gotten a sound night's rest in a long time. He's put-together, but there's a haggardness to him that probably wouldn't be noticeable to anybody but you. Someone who knew him when he was younger, and in the prime of his life. Someone who used to know every scar on his body, every crease of his brow, and now hasn't seen him in more than a decade.

The man who broke your heart stands on the other end of the room, staring at you as if he's seen a ghost.

The two of you stand there for a while before Horangi's voice shakes you back to reality. "Brought the station chief, sir."

"I...see." König—you suppose that's what he calls himself nowadays, the arrogant prick—clears his throat. "Thank you, Hong-jin."

"No problem." Horangi takes a seat. "The others will be in soon."

Horangi seems like a perceptive enough guy. Can he tell that the room feels several degrees colder? You pull a chair out, the furthest one from König's position possible, and ignore the hurt that briefly flashes across his face as you sit down.

The meeting goes well. It's just an opportunity for you to formally introduce yourself to the KorTac operators you'll primarily be working with for the next few months.

You can tell they're a close knit group by the easy way they interact with each other: they've worked together for a while.

König, too, is part of them, which must be how they pick up on the chilly dynamic between the two of you. Some of them are just puzzled. For most of them, it raises their hackles.

It doesn't matter to you. You can barely focus on getting through the meeting without feeling like you're going to faint.

It's absurd. You're not some delicate Regency-era lady. You're a hardened military officer. But it makes no difference.

It doesn't matter how long it's been, it seems. He's still the only one who can make you feel like this.

You can't get out of there fast enough after the meeting has concluded. Not only are the others shooting you suspicious looks, but you've spent too long in his presence. Any longer, and you don't know how you're going to keep your composure.

But you can't escape him. Of course not. Why did you ever think otherwise? You hear him call for you, and you walk faster. But it's futile.

This hallway is smaller, narrower, less open. Nobody's around to watch when he slams you against the wall to stop your hasty retreat. Nobody's around to see the way you sway in his hold, overwhelmed by the smell of him all around you. You're bathed in it, the overpowering presence of him.

"We need to talk." he demands.

"We just did. Meeting's over," you shoot back, making a paltry attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. He loosens his hold on you, but you're still trapped between him and the wall. No exit.

"I didn't plan this, in case you're wondering."

"That much was obvious." He's let his hair grow out longer, you notice at the most inopportune time possible. It suits him, you think.

He sighs in frustration. "If we're going to work together, we have to be civil."

"Don't worry. I wouldn't expose how much of a scoundrel you are in front of your precious squad," you bite.

You feel a twinge of smug satisfaction as regret settles into his expression. Too little, too late.

"I don't want it to be like this, either," he murmurs. "Ignoring and avoiding each other."

"You don't get to tell me how to act."

"You're right. But it's been a long time. Can't we try to get along? Not for my sake, but...yours."

"Well that's not condescending at all."

"That's not what I meant. I know my team. If you're walking around resenting me openly like that, they won't trust you. And they need to, if you're working with us."

He's right, and you know it. But there's that deep instinct inside you, older than your bloodline, waking up after a long slumber. It wants him, snapping at the bit to give into him and do whatever he asks of you. The urge will consume you if you don't fight it every step of the way.

You glare up at him, hoping you come off as brimming with resentment instead of desire. "As long as you and your team stay professional, I can too."

He's not satisfied with that answer, but it's all you're going to give him.

"Fine." He steps away from you, and you pour all your willpower into commanding your body to stay still. To not chase after his closeness. You sway on the spot, dizzy with his scent after having gone so long without it.

"This hallway is a dead end, by the way."

You try, you really do. But it's hard to be around him without feeling the urge to touch him, to press yourself against him and inhale him like the most destructive drug possible.

Your only recourse is to stay as physically far away from him as possible.

You do your best to ingratiate yourself with the other operators. You and Calisto are fast friends: she's got a breezy confidence to her that's quite refreshing. It also doesn't hurt that you speak French, as well. There's a bit of kinship felt whenever the two of you are holding a conversation none of the others can understand.

Horangi's a different story, though. The initial courtesy he showed you is a bit more clipped, now that it's clear something is up between you and König.

You can't believe you missed it the first time, the way König's smell is all over him. It really has been too long.

The two of them must be pretty close. You give up trying not to fixate on the idea.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, but you were curious. Even more curious when you hear your name mentioned.

"It's pretty clear you and Eden know each other. None of us are stupid."

You freeze in your tracks. The door is closed, but you can hear Horangi's voice, loud and clear in the room behind it.

"It's not relevant. She's just here to do a job."

"I think it's pretty relevant that she gets up and leaves whenever you enter a room, regardless of what she's doing. She can't get away from you fast enough."

You give a surreptitious look at your surroundings, then lean down slightly, pressing your ear to the door.

"You're not going to give this up, are you?"

"Hell fucking no."

You hear König sigh. "Fine. We knew each other before I joined KorTac. Back when I was in the Jagdkommando."

Do you want to hear this? Your painful history, relayed to a near stranger? Horangi's not a stranger to him, that's for sure.

"And?"

"We were...involved."

"You and a beta? Never took you for the type."

"Well, neither did I. But she was...special. Smart, pretty, deadeye with a knife. Wouldn't give me the time of day, of course. I was obsessed with her."

"Naturally."

"Give me a fucking break, okay?"

"Can't wait to hear how this ended."

"Not...great. I was a total dick."

You can say that again, you think.

"I was young. Real dumbass who thought he was hot shit."

"You still aren't."

"Shut the fuck up." Something twinges inside you at the hearty laughter the two of them share. You missed that laugh.

"Despite everything, it was the most stable relationship I've ever been in. We looked out for each other. She knew me better than some of my family does."

"How did you fuck that up, then?"

"I got too comfortable. Started thinking I could do better. God, what a fucking idiot I was. I loved her like crazy, but I didn't realize how good I had it until it was gone."

"She left you?"

"No. I was the one who ended things. In the worst way possible, too. I told her the relationship wasn't going to go anywhere, that we were never going to be a serious thing."

"Ouch. Why not?"

You squeeze your eyes shut. You remember that night, like a shard of glass buried in your chest. As hard as you tried to forget, you'll never forget the way you felt. Like the world was ending.

You'll never forget the decision you had to make.

"I told her I couldn't see myself with a beta long-term."

"...that's fucked up."

"I know. I know. I was too caught up in that shitty macho alpha mindset. I was fucking ravenous back then, and I thought only an omega could give me what I needed."

"I get it now. If I were her, I would have quit on the spot seeing you in that meeting room."

"Yeah. She's a better person than I can ever imagine being."

Well. It's nice to know he regrets it, you think. Not that it does you much good now. Quiet as a mouse, you make a quick exit before you can get caught.

You make it back to the the room you've been assigned to. They were nice enough to give you your own private quarters, something you deeply appreciate when you need to be alone with your own thoughts. Like right now.

It's a strange feeling, to sort of get closure like this. Not at the end, but at the beginning of something new. You still have to see each other. Does it help that you know how he feels? Maybe, but it doesn't ease your own guilt. In fact, it makes it worse.

You're not mad at him for telling Horangi. You're glad he did, actually. There are some secrets that cause more harm to keep than not.

You open a drawer and pull out the pill bottle, hidden underneath your other possessions, and stare at the label.

WARNING - SUPPRESSANTS. NOT TO BE USED BY ALPHAS. ONLY CONSUME UNDER PHYSICIAN SUPERVISION.

You would know.

BOOM! There you have it. (In case it wasn't clear, the suppressants are for omegas.)

@sprout-fics's omegaverse 141 headcanons series inspired me to write something based off the idea of an omega disguising themselves as a beta in the military. Please check out her series, it's great.

I was really into exploring how omegaverse dynamics can make complicated relationships even messier. I did consider writing this story without the omegaverse, but I think now it's kind of an essential element. (I also just. Want them to have crazy nasty omegaverse sex. Sue me) I can't picture König ever breaking up with someone he deeply loved and was obsessed with, unless he had a reason like that. Still not a great reason, but a little bit understandable. Eden being a disguised omega also adds a bit of spice to the exes-to-lovers arc, too: she could have just come out and told him she's not actually a beta, but she chose not to for the sake of her career. Oof. Ruthless judgement calls were made on both sides.

I put this out because this idea had me in a STRANGLEHOLD, and I just had to get it out before I burst. Hopefully my writing's still up to par 😅 As for Kingdom Come, part iii may take a little while longer because a lot is going to happen in it, so I hope this can tide you guys over until then.

As usual, comments and feedback are always appreciated! I would love to talk about this au more. And again, if you'd like to be tagged, drop a reply. And if you're in the taglist and would like to be removed/only tagged for Kingdom Come, please let me know!

@crowbird @poohkie90 @cumikering @iytatsworld @papaver-decervicatus @anxietyrain @riotakire @ax0lotly @cookiepie111 @kacchasu @no1runawaymilkdad @chthonian-spectre @backwards-readings @yxllowtxpe @garbau @hexqueensupreme @queenthorin1 @violetstyless @her-majesty-theking @vegan-peppermint @peonytarian @ghostslittlegf @euuuuuuun @e1x03 @kokonoiwife @deaddainish @dragonfang @teehee-47 @catluvwr @keiva1000 @waves-against-a-cliff @channelsoph @cutiecusp @itsagrimm @dins-riduur-anthe @mantishymns @lexuria

[mrsriddles-blog]

Jealousy | P.P

Pairing: Slytherin Fem Reader X Pansy Parkinson

WC: 1k+

Warnings/Notes: Mild language, kissing, angst, threats…

Summary: Unsure if Pansy likes you, you turn to a Gryffindor in hopes to see if Pansy gets jealous or not.

"Hey, guys." Pansy says, taking a seat with the guys.

She tries to subtly look around for you, but the guys noticed and chuckled. Her cheeks flush red, a scowl working its way on her face. Despite feeling embarrassed, she refused to show these blokes she calls her friends, that she was embarrassed for being caught.

"Looking for y/n/n?" Mattheo teases.

"I still wish I could understand your infatuation with our sister. We are bloody triplets, there is nothing about her infatuating." Tom mutters.

"Hey! That isn't true and you best retract that statement or I'll hex you! There are loads of things that I find infatuating about her." Pansy scolds, her eyes burning with anger.

"Alright, alright, get your panties out of a twist, Parkinson. I'll choose to let that slide this time, but in the future, show some respect or I'll show you why you should fear me." Tom says.

"You bloody bloke, no one fears you." You scoff, sliding in between your brothers.

"That is not true! I'm the one who reminds everyone of our father! I have similar traits to him!" He snaps, his face growing red.

"Right, and that's why his dooming downfall is in the horizon. Until he can ask his most competent and truly cruel child, his doom will be there. Do you know why? Because he's arrogant, sloppy, and cocky. He isn't the leader we need for this war. And if you wish to go run your mouth to him, please do. There is a reason he fears me as well." You say, unfazed.

"Y/n/n, shhh." Mattheo scolds.

"Father doesn't fear you. You're the only daughter, so he's gentle with you." Tom scoffs.

"No. I'm his only child powerful enough to defeat him and he knows that. I remind him too much of our mother, the one we are barred of speaking of in his presence because she was far more powerful and cruel than our father. She is the real leader and he has since made her a stone statue in our home. He'll continue to strive to bend me to his perfect little minion or I'll end up just like mother." You snap harshly.

Tom quiets, trying to reign his temper in. Deep down he knew. He knew you were the most powerful heir of your guys' father. You possessed your guys' mothers cunningness, intelligence, ambition, bravery, and magic. No one had seen anything like your mother's magical abilities, and you were lucky to carry it on.

"Why were you so late this morning?" Theodore asks.

"Oh, it was nothing." You say, a small smile on your lips.

Pansy frowns, noticing it and she studies you as her stomach begins to twist and flip with worries. You were staring at the Gryffindor table and she followed your eyes to Hermione Granger. The rest of the table noticed Pansy's look of surprise and hurt, so they followed her gaze.

"You like Granger?" Mattheo hisses.

"Father will kill you and her. She's a mudblood." Tom scolds.

You roll your eyes, standing as you move to sit with Hermione. She starts to talk with you, the two of your laughing and flirting. Pansy pushed her food away, watching with something she wasn't quite familiar with.

"Figuratively, green doesn't suit you." Tom mutters.

"I've been dropping fucking hints for months, and she goes to her? A mudblood, but even worse—a Gryffindor? What is it she has that I don't?" She snaps.

"Maybe courage to talk to the people she likes rather than dropping almost nonexistent hints." Mattheo suggests.

Pansy glowers at him, enough to make him grumble an apology as the guys try to calm Pansy and suggest way to get your attention with more obvious hints.

"Do you think it's working?" You ask.

"Oh, for sure. She can't stop staring. She looks real upset though." Harry says.

"And pissed." Ron says through a mouthful of food.

"Phase two?" Hermione asks.

"Phase two." You confirm.

The guys shush as they notice Pansy's jaw clench, her green eyes narrowing. They follow her gaze to where you were leaving with Hermione, the two of you holding hands.

"Well shit...I truly wasn't expecting that." Mattheo mutters.

"Something seems off." Tom murmurs, his eyes zoned in on the hand holding.

"Oh shush, you know nothing of relationships you, bloke." Mattheo snickers.

"And you do? You just sleep with the entire female population." Tom snaps back.

Throughout the day, Pansy couldn't keep her eyes off you. The foreign feeling continued to burn in her stomach and chest, a sour taste in her mouth as she watched the two of you flirt. You paid no mind to Pansy—you practically shunned her. On a normal day, you couldn’t get enough of Pansy. You were hooked to her every word, following her lips that would curve to a smile or smirk, and your eyes were constantly on hers.

She was losing her control, so it was no surprise when you were dragged off to a broom closet.

She murmurs "lumos" her wand admitting a bright light that she sat on a shelf before focusing on your face.

"What the hell Pansy? Hermione and I were going to go on a walk." You snap.

"What the hell? What the hell!? Don't you get snappy with me. Watching you with Granger all day has made my blood boil, love! The amount of times I've thought about hexing her or beating her to a bloody pulp should be concerning. Her hands on you...the quiet giggles and shared smiles—bloody hell! I've had it. That should be me! I fucking like you, yet you didn't seem to notice as your with bloody Granger." She snaps, her face flushed red with anger.

You were surprised, not quite expecting that reaction. You expected a reaction for sure, but you weren't prepared for this. No, Pansy Parkinson was angry beyond words and her jealously stained her green.

"I like you too, Pansy...I just wasn't sure. Hermione agreed to help me get a rise out of you—because then it'd confirm whether you liked me too." You admit softly.

She stared at you with a blankness that made you uneasy. She lets a sigh out as a tired look, yet a relieved one washes over her face.

"Well that makes me feel fucking loads better...I still might hex Granger for touching you though." She murmurs, her eyes focused on your lips.

It was silent for several beats, the air becoming thick with desire and tension. It wasn't long before Pansy and you were leaning in, sharing a soft kiss that slowly grew hungrier and more ravishing. She pushes you back against a shelf, her tongue shoving its way past your lips as she trails a hand up your thigh.

"Fuck, I like you a lot, love." She whispers, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

"I like you a lot too." You murmur, your cheeks flushed red with need.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Analyzing King Magnifico

Oooh boy, I have a lot to say! This is gonna be long. So brace yourself. But first 👇

‼️Note, this is my very personal opinion‼️

I'm honestly glad how the multitude of people realizes that we don't have a villain here. And honestly, while some nag and whine around that they didn't get one, I'm not mad at all that we got Magnifico the way we got him.

So in the end, it doesn't matter to me if disney actually failed to create a villain or purposely created a good guy who changes to be the antagonist.

Ok, now to the analizing part

The very first thing we learn about Magnifico is that he has a pretty dark past. He lost his home and his entire family, anyone he ever loved, all in one night. And in a very curel way. That banner tells us a lot!

First of all, if we study the picture, we see a palace in the back, some houses and right down below young Magnifico and his parents. Now, why is that so important? Back in the days only very important people were potrayed on banners. Such as royals, families of very high status or knights. Banners and wallrugs were also used to tell important stories. And since the palace is on the banner, I'm pretty sure we have a royal family here. That would mean that Magnifico had been royalty from the very start.

Further we see that the bottom got burned. This tells us that there was a big fire. Which leads me to conclude that what Magnifico saw and experienced was most defenitely hell on earth. Imagine, his family, his home, everything burns. Screams of terror everywhere, the stench of dead burning flesh and smoke that nearly suffocates you! And he was very young when that happened. So we now know that the king has big time PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) Keep this in mind, because it's literally the key to this whole analysis.

~

Out of his trauma, Magnifico strived to build a safe haven, where he could make sure no tragedy like the one he'd suffered would ever happen again. He build his kingdom, (on top of already existing buildings, as we know from the art book) He taught himself magic to actually have power to protect. He made sure his people are safe and live well. That no one has to suffer, endure hunger or hardships. Sounds like a evil rotten monster right?

Just look at the way he looks at the (wishes) dreams of his people. He appreciates and treasures them!

His genuine desire to protect and keep safe has always been good!

We only see him snap after Asha triggers him. And while ptsd people react overly sensitive or exaggerated, it is understandable once you know where they come from.

Analyzing Magnifico's ptsd closer and how it influenced his actions and decissions

Magnifico had looked for an apprentice that truly understands where he comes from and shares his ambitions. But the first thing Asha asks as soon as she gets the feeling she has the job safe, is if he can grant her grandfather's wish. I understand, that she cares for her grandfather but I also see Magnifico's feelings. Can you imagine how used he must feel? Constantly feeling the pressure of "I must protect what's dear to me! I must make sure my past never repeats!" And yet, the most people see him as is the "wish-granter".

Trauma shapes you, it shapes the way of thinking and if something triggers a response, you just react. If you like it or not. And oftentimes you're not even aware you're acting up. I can tell from personal expirience ...

So what about him being slightly vain and wanting respect?

Respect is earned. Generally everyone deserves to be threated with respect unless someone gives you a solid reason not to.

So let's recap some of the things Magnifico actually deserves respect for :

Surviving a horrible tragedy and still standing

Building up an entire kingdom and reigning it well (protecting his people fiercly and sucessfully bringing order)

Being selfless

Being king and carrying a freaking lot of responsibility

Now, let's look at Magnifico's "vanity moments" more closely and examine the things he does and says with questions of why?

The thing with his hair. He makes sure his hair looks nice. Ok, is this a bad thing? Does this make one ultimately vain? No. Being content with your hair and wanting to have it look good isn't vain. Neither is being happy about it. Or looking at yourself in the mirror and like yourself. You even should be able to look at yourself and love what you see. Pure vanity is something different.

What about what he says about himself in his song?

I can't help it if mirrors love my face

It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space

Lets consider the situation and emotional state he's in. He's pissed. And I'm pretty sure this a way to try and lift himself up a bit. I mean, like mentioned above, there is nothing wrong with liking your appearance. And he IS freaking handsome. He's not lying when he acknowleges that fact.

Of course you could twist his words and say, oh he's arrogant and vain. But people can say lots of things and not actually be a bad person.

And while true vanity is a bad trait, it doesn't make one a villain. Let's compare Magnifico to Gaston for a second.

Gaston is rude from the very beginning. He's selfabsorbed and narcissistic all the way and the only thing he cares about is himself. He shows off to be praised simply for selfgratification and because he thinks he's the center of the world.

Magnifico cares immensily for others and wants acknowledgement for it. Who wouldn't? If you do something great and constantly care for others and still aren't really appreciated for it, who wouldn't be like, "I do all this and you thank me by doubting me and wanting even more? How ungrateful can one be?" And the only things we see people acknowledge him for, is 1. His ability to do magic and grant wishes, and 2. His handsome looks.

I totally understand that he's fed up at one point. Deep down wishing someone would see him for the man he truly is below all his abilities and appearance.

Gaston would walk over dead bodies to get what he wants and in order to look good. He has 0 compassion and 0 remorse.

So, even though Magnifico is a "little" vain, he's not out of evil reasons! It literally doesn't harm anyone and it doesn't cause others to suffer. If someone tells him "You're handsome." He replies, "I know."

Good! Too many people look into the mirror and hate themselves. Of course, humbler people would just reply with "thank you." But still, this isn't a solid point to call someone a villain or bad person.

Ok, now. So far we have absolutely no reason to assume Magnifico is a "villain" so let's skip to the part where it get's interesting!

The thing with the shape shifiting entity (star) happens. Something that is outside of Magnifico's power, something he doesn't understand and it terrifies him! Why? Not because he's a power hungry psycho, not because he enjoys controling people out of complacenty and is afraid to lose that. No. It's the desperation of feeling helpless, the terror of losing control, the fear of having the past repeat itself. That is what drives him mad.

Ultimately he becomes desperate and anxious enough to let himself get possesed. Even during the whole process, he says that he never wanted this, he swore he'd never let himslef be posessed. He further says, "To this book, I don't wanna be tethered, but desperate times call for desperate measures."

Let's hear that again folks! Real loud for all those in the back! He tell us 3 times, 3 times ! How he doesn't want to turn to darkness but he feels forced to do so. Why? Because of his trauma! Not because he's a villain. He doesn't want to lose his control out of fear!

Let me show you something.

There you have it! 🫴 it's that simple. I'm tired of traumatized characters being labeled as villains.

Oh yeah but he literally goes bonkers after he let himself be possesed by the evil from this book!

Yeah, sherlock, of course he behaved EVIL after that. That's literally the evil that possesed him! This doesn't make him a villain! It make's his whole situation even sadder and more tragic. The actions are obviously bad, "villainous" if you wanna call it that, but it doesn't make him a villain!

What happens to a scared animal that you force into a corner? It bites. Does this mean the animal is evil because it bit? No. It doesn't make the bite ok, but it doesn't make it evil either.

So, I, like many others also underline that Magnifico is in no way a villain but a traumatized good guy who sadly slipped.

His personality

Composed when needed

He can be bubbly as much as he can be calm. One of the first things Amaya tells Asha is that Magnifico likes to talk a lot, yet we never truly see him talk a lot! He is more calm than he is loud.

When Asha has her interview, he gives her room to talk rather than showering her in lectures of what he wants and what he expects. He's like "Go ahead, you tell me! Imma listen."

I actually feel this very personally because I'm someone who loves to talk. If I'm comfortable around someone and I made sure I can trust them, I can ramble for hours. I can talk and talk and talk like a waterfall. But at the same time, I can also be intensly quiet and listen well.

Childlike behavior

One of my absolute favourite characteristics in Magnifico is his childlike goofyness. He has this really pure cuteness to him and a bombastic humor. He doesn't pay heed if his behavior could seem akward to others, he just acts however he feels like. He's one of those adults that would still do all the things they enjoyed doing as a child or things that children normally do and I love that!

I cannot stop chuckling over the fact that he hippity hopps down one of his corridors, giving cookies to knight armors. If that isn't adorable I don't know what is! 😂

Also, please, that whole scene! The dance moves, the excitement, the expressiveness! Aaawwww!

He has a whole miniature model of his kingdom and he makes little interactive figures! I laughed tears because it's so funny and adorable! Like he's that kind of man that would cheer at the simplest accomplishments like a child unwrapping the toy the really wanted on christmas day.

There is so much we can find in here. He's :

Playful, creative, quirky, funny, passionate, imaginative, spunky, talented - the list goes on!

But let's keep going and listen to what else shimmers through the things he sings.

I'd give the clothes off Benito's back, if you really needed that

I'd be the first one to volunteer if your home were to crumble, or if you were in trouble

He doesn't just blabber nonsense here or lies. He truly would do all those things! Why else would he sing this while alone? He has no one around so one could say he's saying this on purpose to look good. He's frustrated, offended and slightly hurt and is speaking his mind and emotions. And we are shown this as an audience.

What do these lines tell us then? They tell us just what he actually is! Altruistic. It leads us right back to what we found at the beginning. His actual desire to help, keep safe and protect.

Why would he be the first one to volunteer if a home crumbles? Because his did. A king actually doesn't need to get his hands dirty. He has enough people to do things for him, yet he'd go out of his way to take matters into his own hands because he genuinly cares!

I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent

Doesn't sound like a power hungry, wealth loving, gold hoarding dictator to me. Get this, you are living in a kinddom for fee! No rent! The most money you make you keep and only a bit of it goes to the king to sustain the community. That's pretty awesome if you ask me.

I clean up all your messes and I'm always there when you need to vent

So he's not only selfless but a good listener as well. He doesn't judge. He, well -

I give and give and give and give-

He wants to make sure everyone is pleased. That's actually impossible but he still tries and is secrerly suffering deep down from it. If a person only ever gives and hardly gets anything back ... it's like you fill a container with water and there is no hole to drain it. Eventually you are so overly full of others problems, you suffocate or overflow.

It's SO sad that he doesn't have ANYONE to really talk to. He runs across half the palace to let out his emotions rather than seeking comfort from someone. (Which would be the oportunity to talk about Amaya but this is for another post!)

Charming, charismatic, proud, confident

The characteristics that make him attractive besides his looks. He's a gentleman, he knows how to use words well, he isn't afraid to speak his mind and carries himself with confidence, which is displayed in the way he walks. He either strides, has a light bounce to his step or a heavyness.

Ok, now, that we have the positives, we can acknowledge the negative and neutral ones. And everyone has negative traits. Again, some of Magnifico's negative traits are caused and or intensified by his ptsd.

Idealistic and perfectionistic -Magnifico constantly obsesses over how things should and could be. Chaos irritates him. He feels safe in clear structures and always strives for the best outcome for things. If something doesn't make sense for him, he feverly searches for answers until he finds them. If not, he panics. The tiniest feeling of potentially failing wrecks his nerves.

Impulsive - He's got a short temper. Yes, he can swallow a lot but if one crosses a certain line, he snaps. His emotions control him more than he controls them. And that goes both ways. Happy, sad, angry. He feels everything intense and reacts intense.

Stormy and insecure - He reacts very sensitive to stress. He feels a certain degree of urgency in his feelings and tends to be sucess-oriented. He always wants to improve and thus pressures himself.

Controlling - Magnifico's obsessive feeling of need to control comes from his traumatic past. As long as he's in control, he feels secure. He feels safe. Control is his safeplace. Not because he has evil motives but because in reality he's deeply insecure and anxious.

Paranoid and pessimistic - Again a trait that has been heavily altered by his ptsd. Originally he'd belong to the more cautious kind. Being cautious isn't something negative, it can be very helpful since one analyzes and observes carefully before choosing to trust or do something. But his trauma causes him to always assume the worst. He becomes critical where he wouldn't need to be because of his fear. (We see this with his decissions over wishes. He disregards some not because of ill will, ignorance or arrogance but because of his anxiety)

Stubborn - If Magnifico has set his mind on something he could go through walls with his head. Once he's determinded to do something, it's nearly impossible to stop him.

Distrustful - His paranoia and pessimism makes it hard for him to trust others. He becomes hard to read and hard to understand.

Now, once the evil that has been trapped in the book posesses Magnifico, he becomes ruthless, cruel and cynical. He steps into "villainous behavior" but is it what he truly is? NO! Of course not! If people talk about a classical villain, they mean a purely evil person from the very beginning of a movie/story. If we have a originally good guy, who, through circumstances, starts reacting and making wrong choices, we're talking about an antagonist.

And good grief, Magnifico was more than redeemable! If someone actually hadn't been blind to the true struggle of his soul, if someone had actually cared enough to save him! If someone had only truly loved him. He was used, wronged, backstabbed, betrayed, left alone and dropped like a hot potato the second he snapped. Poor Magnifico. He deserved better. Far better.

~

Thank you for reading! I'll soon post more of my analyses. 🧐

Also, creating a redemption story for Magnifico is the most fun I've had writing in a long while. 🌹 I'm excited to eventually share it with you, once it's done.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @melpomene-grey!

OC Interview

I feel like I've done all of my protags, so let's go in a different direction >:)

Are you named after anyone?

"My first name, Vermir, just means sea bird, which is sort of a fucked up thing to name a baby. My surname, Nadvalsib, is in keeping with Teaban traditions. My mother's name was Nadval and I'm a woman, so hence the -sib."

When was the last time you cried?

"I can't anymore, so... about five hundred years ago, in that case? I think I cried all the tears I had left when- when I saw the results of my experiment with the dark beyond. I never meant for things to end like that.... I was supposed to have saved them...."

Do you have kids?

"Absolutely not. I don't mind kids, but I've never had the desire for my own."

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"For people smart enough to pick up on it, sure."

What's the first thing you notice about people?

"If they're sorcerers or not. I might prefer to plan out my captures, but I'll take what's given to me if it comes down to it."

What's your eye colour?

"They were a dark brown when I was human. Perfected as I am, they shine an electric white."

Scary movies or happy endings?

"Oh, scary endings! I love anything with practical effects, especially. The craftsmanship is incredible."

Any special talents?

"Other than my incredible intellect, unbreakable determination, and willingness to do what needs to be done to save the people of Illaros? I've always had an impeccable sense of direction. I don't know if I've been lost a day in my life."

Where were you born?

"In the town of Laben, in what you would now know as the Janazi principality of Teaba."

Do you have any pets?

"Can't say that I do. I don't have the time to take care of one."

What sort of sports do you play?

"Son, I'm in the middle of conquering a planet in order to buck the boot of our tyrant gods. And you think I have time for sports?"

How tall are you?

"I was about 5'5" before my ascendency, but I'm a solid 7'0" now. It feels good."

What was your favourite subject in school?

"I never formally went to school - those weren't so widespread when I was a girl - so I learned my trade through apprenticing under the former mage of the village. He was a nice enough fellow, even if he never had the ambition to add any more to his knowledge than what he'd learned from his predecessor. He did, however, have an incredible knack for alchemy. Learning the potion trade from him made up for his failings in other areas."

What is your dream job?

"It's not ruling Illaros, if that's what you're thinking. I will rule Illaros, don't get me wrong. I'll do it, make the world the best it can be, and keep it spinning that way until it can stand on its own. This is my sacrifice for the greater good. Perhaps after my empire is established though, I'll be able to step back and dedicate myself to my studies alone. I've always wanted to finally crack the secrets of the dark beyond."

I'll tag @the-golden-comet @evilgabe29 @aesthetic-writer18 @autism-purgatory and anyone else who wants in :)

Blanks under the cut

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What's the first thing you notice about people? What's your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?

[mirpuzzle]

I've been really curious about this, who are your top ten Yu-Gi-Oh characters?

Hello! 🌷 Usually, I only have a few favorites. So, aside from the first three, the rest is constantly changing. I'll try to put them in order (all under the cut).

♡. 10 ── Carly Nagisa (5Ds)

What's not to love about her? She's funny, pretty, and a complete mess of a person. She gets in all sorts of trouble, all because she's trying to make a living. I like it when she gets screen time.

♡. 9 ── Noa Kaiba (DM)

He was my favorite as a kid, so I still have a special place in my heart for him. His story made me cry. He did not deserve that. He only wanted others to understand him. You're valid, Noa.

♡. 8 ── Yusei Fudo (5Ds)

It's rare for me to favor a protagonist. That's how you know he's good. This man is a blessing to Yugioh. He has a natural charisma that's impossible to ignore. He's perfect.

♡. 7 ── Bandit Keith (DM)

...I think. I have mixed feelings toward him. I don't even know why he's on this list. I keep going to him in games where Kotsuzuka is not there. So, that must mean I like him, right? I'm confused.

Cross Duel showed me he can be really nice to you if you help him win. I appreciate how he helps other duelists fortify their decks, using the themes they originally had instead of giving them a completely new deck. He cares.

While there's no excuse for what he did to Kotsuzuka and the boys, the fact that, behind that 'bad guy' front, there's a sad, broken man makes me feel bad for him. He deserves to heal.

♡. 6 ── Ryou Bakura (DM)

The anime doesn't do him justice. The more I learn about him through other fans and Duel Links, the more I like him. He's a precious cream puff who likes spooky stuff and is treated terribly by almost everyone. He deserves better (friends).

♡. 5 ── Divine (5Ds)

This man is terrible in every way, and that's the point. I hate that his character was designed to be hated. He gets no backstory, no redemption arc, no nothing. He's just there to be blamed for every bad thing that's ever happened. I pity him. He's the worst. I love this guy.

♡. 4 ── Thief King Bakura (DM)

PLEASE give this guy a break. He has gone through enough. The way he pulled himself back up after all that tragedy is impressive. Imagine how one skillful Thief became a Pharaoh's major threat. A Thief who brings up important moral questions that society seems to ignore (deliberately). He deserves to be heard.

♡. 3 ── Kiyoshi Takaido & Satake (DM)

They share third place because I can't have one without the other. I automatically started loving them because they're close friends with Kotsuzuka. I like that they care about him. These guys have so much potential to explore, and it's a shame we see so little of them.

They're not 'Keith's lackeys'. They're duelists in their own right. They have ambitions and aspirations. They just didn't get to be in the spotlight.

♡. 2 ── Yami Bakura (DM)

Sometimes switches places with Takaido and Satake but usually stays in second place. He's wickedly perfect. From his gorgeous design to how he pretends everything is part of his plan, even though he's literally dissipating into nothingness. He has the nerve to make empty threats that he never carries out. And I love him for that. No one can deny that he looks cool when he shows how evil™️ he is.

There's something beautiful about this ancient evil spirit dedicating his existence to fulfill his objective - all while showing us that he can enjoy normal human activities, like playing games. The complexity of his character captivates me. You can study him for hours, and it will still take you a while to figure him out due to his confusing lore. I like reading what other fans have to say about him.

The way he makes others suffer causes me to have mixed feelings. Sure, I love angst. I just wish there were some feelings involved.

Seeing him make enemies with almost everyone he crosses paths with makes me think he wants to keep everyone away, and that's sad. I want him to care about someone other than himself. I want someone to care about him.

♡. 1 ── Ghost Kotsuzuka (DM)

Yes, that one guy who's known for using Zombie-Type monsters. That short, spooky 15-year-old who walks around hunched over pretending to be a ghost, not realizing he's too cute to be scary. That naive boy who trusted the wrong person and then was unlucky enough to cross paths with the main antagonist. He's my favorite.

I love him. The way his eyes light up when he talks about the things he likes is adorable. I could listen to him gush about ghosts for hours.

His character tends to be frustratingly misinterpreted and overlooked. It's sad that some people think of him as nothing more than collateral damage to Yami Bakura's 'mischief'. He deserves better than that.

When you see past his 'side antagonist' role, you realize he's a precious little guy who's trying his best. Behind that ghostly, mischievous smile, there's a lost youth looking for guidance from a 'big bro' figure he can look up to, whether he realizes this or not.

Despite the differences in his characterization between the manga, anime, and games, one thing remains consistent. He grows into someone who wants to prove he can duel by himself.

But what does he get? Nothing but pain. Betrayed, deceived, ending up dead or lost in the darkness, condemned in almost every canon, with only his sentient Duel Links data to remember him by.

He only wanted to duel.

---------------------ꕥ

I'll stop here. Otherwise, I'll be talking about Kotsuzuka for hours. Thank you so much for the ask! ♡ Sorry that it took a while. I was struggling to organize what I wanted to say for some of the characters, and I wanted to add some art :3

Keep in mind that I've only seen Duel Monsters and the first half of 5Ds, so there are many characters I don't know yet.

[ae-azile]

Progression

Chapter 18 Preview

“...I let my depression amplify my resentments,” Kim finally says, “It amplified that and my grief over everyone we have lost. It was easier to blame you. For as long as I remember, you controlled…everything. Even though that isn't possible, that's how it seemed. So it was easy to pin how out of control I felt onto you. I'm sorry.” 

Going by Pa’s expression, he definitely wasn't expecting an apology. Kim has been expecting one from him for weeks, since Pa claimed to Kinn that he would. It never happened, and it probably would have been a front anyway. But it still annoyed Kim, even though receiving an apology would have meant interacting with Pa even more. 

“I accept your apology,” Pa says, his voice a little more subdued, “And I realize that I could have…conducted myself a little differently. I could have been kinder. You…Kim, you push back so hard. Talking to you can be like talking to a brick wall.”

“I know,” Kim says, because he does know that, “But like I said, you have been a lot easier to blame. Taking time off, having support, and being in therapy have helped me see it is a lot more complicated than that and I am trying to work on…breaking down that wall.” 

Pa studies him, then nods, “Well, I am glad to hear that. And I am glad you decided to talk to me about all of this.” 

“I’m glad I decided to talk to you about this too,” Kim says, then tries to think of a way to begin wrapping up the conversation, “I need…some agency though. Trust. I am in therapy, have a support system, have gained weight back, and am doing better than I was. I have even written a lot of music recently-” 

“With Porchay?” 

He really wanted to leave Chay out of this. 

“He's been really helpful,” Kim says anyway, “We’ve written music together, but sometimes we sit in different rooms, write separately, and come back to see what the other thinks. He's been a really good friend to me.” 

“A friend,” Pa says, as if he doesn't quite believe that, “People seem to think you two are more than just friends. Do you have feelings for him?” 

Kim saying that he doesn't would be an obvious lie, so he settles on a partial truth. 

“We are…feeling things out, but taking it slow and mainly focused on friendship and music,” Kim says, then tries to get back on track, “Anyway, I have been doing a lot better and-”

“I don't think he’s right for you.” 

Kim turns his head sharply as his eyes immediately narrow, “Why not?” 

There is a glint in Pa’s eye, something calculating. Kim isn't sure what his goal is, but he needs to be on his guard right now. 

“He…seems troubled,” Pa says, “I think he probably has a good heart, but he's extremely stubborn. He has neglected re-applying for college multiple times-” 

“I got him to apply last month.” 

Pa seems intrigued to hear that, but presses on, “He also seems very angry. I can appreciate that he has certain areas of discipline. When his training stats got as high as they did, I was pleasantly surprised. He also saved his brother. He saved you. I recognize his strengths. But he has no ambition-”

“He does too,” Kim grits out. 

“He doesn't. He has yet to get back to me about taking a position in this family. An actual position, where his high skill set can be utilized effectively. He can't expect to do as well as he has and just…sit on everything he's learned. He needs to be using those skills to help those who made them possible in the first place.”

Kim feels his blood run cold and tries to keep his breathing steady, “Chay…he…no. Porsche doesn't want him involved in…whatever you're implying.” 

“Porsche needs to remember that he has the position he has because of me too,” Pa says, just watching him with this stupid neutral expression, “And while I can respect Kinn stepping back for a while to help you, and Porsche trying to lead in a more compassionate manner than my brother did, we also have an influx of business opportunities that will be coming in. Some are new connections and others are long-standing. But a few in both of those circles can be…challenging. There are also some financial discrepancies we will have to address while they are in. I suspect a few of our international associates are working together, and we will need to narrow down who they are. Chay’s skill set might come in handy. In fact, his skills could be...broadened. As happy as I am for Vegas now that he's living a quieter life, I will say his absence has left a hole when it comes to dealing with conflict.” 

Kim wants to scream. He wants to jump out of his seat and stab Pa in the eyes with a butter knife. But that would give Pa a reaction, and Pa is likely fishing for a reaction. 

But he also could be telling the truth, weaponizing his honesty like he so frequently does. And that just makes Kim feel sick. 

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Hey Ella. I thought I'd come to you with this because you always give off a kind and sympathetic nature so at the very least I won't be treated like a shitty person for what I want to say.

I'm really struggling with Harry atm and it's actually kinda devastating because I never saw this happening. There is so much around Harry that I vehemently dislike, from the people around him to aspects of his public image and narrative. I was so good at separating all that from Harry himself but lately I've been feeling my bitterness bleeding onto Harry. I've seen this happen so much. People who were originally fans getting annoyed at small things and that growing bigger into bitterness and hate. I don't want to be one of these people.

What is making this worse is that I as a person do not place a high value on things like career and ambition. Not in my own life and not in others. So it's getting hard for me to relate and support Harry in his ambition as to me there are infinitely more important things in life. This wasn't a major factor before because his fame and success wasn't at the level it is now.

I honestly don't know what I'm trying to do with this message. I guess I would just appreciate some perspective if you're willing because I genuinely do not want to start resenting Harry. Honestly just typing this is making me tear up.

hi kind anon, i think you're dealing with a pretty common problem in the fandom these days. it's tough to feel like you don't relate to someone you really always felt comfort with. maybe a first step is to take a breather from the fandom as well as gp/main media talk about harry. no twitter (and i'm not saying this bc i have a weird biased thing against twitter. it's a place where opinions are thrown around like it's something ppl have been begging for, like it's fact, and it's really hard to keep reading opinions and debates without getting influenced), no harry content on instagram, no tiktok. i am not interested in anything others have to say about him, and i actively shield myself from it. i don't watch videos others have made with commentary, i don't read articles, i don't even read discourse on here usually. i think the habit of picking everything apart, of making sure you focus on the negative to properly enjoy the positive, is unhealthy, or at least for me. i know myself enough to not fall into blindness or naivety when it comes to what's wrong with enormous success and the industry. i just don't feel the need to get into it every time harry achieves something.

when it comes to harry's ambition and success, i just know (from what he's shown over the years, but the full extent we never will) how much it means to him. i think it's also a mix of actually wanting to be big for him and getting as high as he can to prove that he can to everyone who told him he couldn't. i don't relate to it either, and i don't think it's cool to have all those riches, but i still cry with harry when he cries of joy at his madison sq garden banner. i'm okay living with that nuance without always debating it. i love his music, i love his artistic vision, i love his lyrics, i love the way he carries himself. i also know i don't know him, that i never will, and that there are things he does and says i don't agree with. i have the exact same thing with some of my lifelong best friends, as they have with me. i'm okay with that. happy, even, of how unique and imperfect we all are

what i do, and what keeps me so in love with harry beyond the noise of the gp and the fandom, is focus on what makes me love him. remember that this is an interest, something that makes you happy, and not your object of study, or your career in politics. enjoy it all for you, enjoy it offline as well. and then, i guess, if that doesn't do the trick, a few steps away from harry and all that surrounds him might be necessary to let go of the bitterness. bc you can also just stop liking something, and that's also okay

[asktheoriontriplets]

Have any or all of you thought at all about university? To go or not go, to study This vs That…

Taka: Well, erm... Well, we're still 13 and we haven't thought that much of our futures, although Dad and Mom occasionally bring up some possibilities. I kind of want to be a paranormal investigator like Dad, but there isn't like any school dedicated to studying the weirdness and all that. So, well, for now, I just hope to graduate high school with a decent GPA and get accepted into a good technical college maybe in Portland or California, then I'll see what I can study. Or if not going to college is an option...

Nita: That's out of the question, Taka. You aren't Steve Jobs.

Taka: But what's the point of studying something you aren't interested in? And no, I don't even want to be rich like Steve Jobs. I just want to travel the world-

Nita: It's not about striking rich, Taka. Even being a paranormal hunter needs money for travel and equipment, and Dad has a writing major to earn some income from writing.

Nilam: Plus some funding from Mom.

Taka: Ugh, I know that. Well, I still need time to figure some things out. What about you, Nita? Something nerdy?

Nita: rolls eyes. Well, just hoping to get a science degree. Maybe at West Coast Tech or Berkeley. Then, erm...

Taka: chuckles Being a professor suits you, Nita. Behind a desk, reading papers...

Nita: rolls eyes again I might not be as inclined to weirdness hunting. But it's not that at this point I can escape it entirely. So it's better to try understand it, and maybe the study of weirdness would be widely accepted.

Taka: That's quite an idea

Nita: I mean that's what Dad is already doing, just not in a university or anything. Maybe you should consider that, Taka.

Taka: Hmm... and be in a lab coat all day? Boring! What about you, Nilam?

Nilam: Weirdness and adventuring are fun and all. But I want to be a musician.

Taka: Like... BABBA?

Nilam: You know I don't enjoy pop very much. I prefer classical music, like Bach and Beethoven, and composing music.

Taka: That sounds cool. Not gonna lie, I thought you wanted to be a boxer. Or a martial arts trainer.

Nilam: I did. But I think there's something more rewarding in music. I can't really explain it, but I find more joy in music than punching people. Learning to box and fight is a skill, but it's not something I want to do forever.

Nita: Yeah, I get that, Nilam. I see that you want to make something of your own through music.

Nilam: Yeah, that’s it. There’s more to life than just surviving the weirdness. I want to create something. Something beautiful. I have seven fingers, and they can form a fist, or produce good music. And I prefer the latter.

Taka: Well, whatever you decide to create, I'm sure it'll be amazing. Just as long as I can still be your backup violinist in case you need one.

Nilam: You don't mind playing second fiddle?

Taka: As long as we stick together. Right, Nita?

Nita: Realistically, our ambitions would change over time. Like I might want to be a chef instead-

Taka: Oh gosh no. Your cooking skills are terrible

Nita: You mean terribly good. You liked that salmon I air-fried for dinner today.

Taka: That's because Dad already made it and all you need is to put it in the air-fryer. No big deal.

Nita: What about the time when-

Nilam: Yeah, I mean even Dad said nothing in the future is set in stone. And we still have much to learn. So yeah.

Taka: Thanks for the ask!

[k-s-morgan]

How are you?

Since you sent this ask today and it's the last day of the month, I decided to use it for my monthly post! I hope you don't mind <3

I'm doing more or less okay, though February marked one year anniversary since the start of the senseless war. There were repeated bombings through February; more apartment complexes and residential buildings were hit, more people died - all because of the outdated ambitions of one government and the stupidity, greed, and bloodthirstiness of a half of the nation it rules. Ruzzian soldiers keep invading Ukraine to kill Ukrainian people, bomb Ukrainian territories, burn Ukrainian ecology, including wild life, pets, and birds, destroy Ukrainian crops, buildings, and culture, and condemn millions of people to the loss of their loved ones and the homes they spent a lifetime saving up on. Why? None of them can give even a semi-believable answer. This is a unique phenomenon that psychiatrists should study for decades to come.

Here's a photo of the building situated across of mine. Second day of war, February 25, 2022 - the first results of a new reality Russia decided to bring to its neighbours. The explosions, the terror, the separations; endless queues in the stores; air raid sirens; deadly silence in the huge building that used to be full of voices, laughter, and arguments.

But February 25, 2023 was different. My building was full of chattering again. A neighbor was singing in the shower as he always does; my pigeons were arguing; two annoying children downstairs were yelling and arguing. Life has returned, and this year made all of us stronger.

Last year, I was sure that Russia was about to win. I had no faith in Ukraine, only bitterness because my country was never perfect and it made its share of huge mistakes. But now, things have changed. Russia humiliated itself on a global level. It will forever be remembered as a hotbed of fascism and mindless greed, and there is every chance that Ukraine will win. I have faith now, though I understand that many scenarios are possible. Either way, I'm extremely proud of my country, and I have Russia to thank for turning me into a passionate patriot of Ukraine.

I did a lot of writing this year, and everyone who supported me through comments, Patreon and messages largely contributed to it. I don't have many friends in real life, I'm not a very communicative person and I'm a hopeless introvert, so you all played a huge role in inspiring me and giving me strength. Thank you, I will never forget this.

On a personal front, my three wonderful idiot cats are doing fine; I'm still fighting for the health of 4 of my pigeons, though. One pigeon in particular is in danger now. Here she is: her name is Aristrokratka.

She's always been a wild pigeon - I was feeding her from my window for over a decade; one day, I noticed that someone broke her wing. She struggled to fly: once she reached the top of a streetlight (this was as far as she could go in her state), she stayed there for over 24 hours to regain her strength. I was despondent, so I, my brother and my mother tried to catch her. The entire neighbourhood watched how we chased her under the cars and on the mini-roofs. Finally, I managed to trap and get her.

She's been living with me for over 2 years now. Sadly, she has an egg stuck inside her. It's old, it got entwined with her insides by now, and she needs surgery. It's risky, so we decided to do it only if she starts feeling poorly. Her condition isn't perfect, but she's well enough, so I don't want to possibly steal whatever time she has left.

While I'm sad that she might leave me soon, her story is not sad. She has had a long and fulfilling life, and she has everything I can give her.

Here's the recent video with my two cats: Tom, my clumsy boy, couldn't climb up from the hole he hid himself in, and Laoriy tried to help him. Though I suspect he wanted him out just because he wanted to hide there himself :D

Thank you all again for staying here and supporting me. I hope 2023 will be happier in every respect for my country, as much as it's possible. But we'll see.

[i-hate-liking-batman]

Hogwarts Volleyball AU

Okay so it might sound dumb, but I was getting back into the haikyuu fandom and I was just seeing some Hogwarts Kagehina aus. And they were super cute! But now that the manga is over it really cements for me just how important volleyball is for Hinata and Kageyama. And so I thought about it, and what if muggle Hinata comes to Hogwarts with his love of volleyball, and ends up dragging Quidditch star Kageyama with him. It's just so funny to me.

The Idea:

Kageyama likes Quidditch. He's good at Quidditch. But volleyball calls to him like nothing else ever has. Kageyama goes with Hinata to see an official volleyball match, and he's entranced. He sees the main game ball moving in ways that can't happen from only throwing on a broom. He sees the way each team can make plays without getting hindered, that only go south from lack of talent of the players. He sees a game locked on the ground but the potential endless. And Kageyama knows he needs to play.

When Hinata and Kageyama met, it was the second year of school. Hinata was a Slytherin and Kageyama was a Gryffindor. It was lunch, and Kageyama had run away from the people wanting to talk to 'the beater who made the team as a first year'. Quidditch was simple. People weren't. When he makes it outside, he sees a boy hitting a ball into the castle wall.

Kageyama can't seem to stop his words as he calls out. "That's not how you play Quidditch! Are you stupid?"

The boy turns around and grins so brightly he has to squint. "Who said anything about Quidditch?"

I don't actually have the time to write the whole thing out right now, so I'll give the general details I'm thinking.

Hinata has already started his volleyball love since before Hogarts, living as a muggle. He's determined to be the first wizard volleyball player.

Hinata likes flying on brooms, but quidditch doesn't inspire him the way the little giant does. Sometimes the things people accomplish without powers are just cooler.

Hinata doesn't care about any of his classes, though he always tries not to fail. He's gotten a reputation as a fake Slytherin because of it. He lacks the ambition he's supposed to have. Little do they know his ambition is volleyball.

Hinata has friends, but no one understands his love for volleyball. Even fellow muggles. To them, magic is everything. Hinata likes magic, but he would give it up in a heartbeat to play volleyball like the pros do.

It hurts when no one gets his passion, so Hinata often goes to practice on his own. He knows he needs to, or he'll never improve. He's still not sure how to get into a team, but he'll figure it out. Eventually.

When the famous second year sees Hinata practice and yells about Quidditch, Hinata decides to try one last time. To show someone volleyball, and all it can offer. Kageyama listens to his explanations but actually seems a little interested. Hinata can't let that go.

Kageyama is extremely curious about this 'volleyball' Hinata is so passionate about. He can't picture it at all, since he was a wizard his whole life. So when Hinata suggests going to the muggle studies teacher to see if there are any records of games, he agrees.

The game they watch is a national match between Japan and Argentina. It's quick. It's decisive. And it's the best thing that's ever happened to Kageyama. Hinata's explanations were terrible in comparison, but made all the more sense. There weren't any words to describe how he was feeling. And he turns to Hinata and demands to learn how to play.

Hinata knows they need to be an actually good volleyball team to actually get good. Wizards who just learnt volleyball aren't enough. Kageyama makes a plan.

Said plan gives them the means to join a school volleyball team for a trial year. If they reveal themselves or simply want to stop, the trial finishes. Hinata wonders how this all got pulled off, and Kageyama doesn't mention his family connections in high places.

Hinata and Kageyama love playing on a team. They aren't good enough to start, but training with people better than them was exhilarating. They train, and train some more. It's everything they hoped.

Kageyama gets so invested in volleyball he finds himself getting more emotional than he's used too. Frustration, elation, determination, defeat, they're all things he's felt before but never so much at a time. It makes him scarier to the public, since his neutral face now scowls in thought about his next volleyball play.

Kageyama's scary reputation is contrasted with his new best friend that never seems to leave his side. They bicker all the time but always sit next to each other at meals. The school was also interested in why Kageyama wasn't playing Quidditch anymore.

With his new grouchy face, rumor has it he didn't make it this year. (Kageyama did not bother trying out. He needed to focus on volleyball.)

Timeskip through all the hogwarts years where Kagehina rises and falls in rumors, from whether they're dating to their latest incident of trouble from one of their fights.

Kageyama and Hinata become the first wizard pro volleyball players. They're happy to be pros, and play until they can't anymore. It's only then where they return to the Wizarding world, to play Quidditch which is easier on the body. They take the world by storm.

In an interview someone asks why they took so long to start pllaying quidditch. They smile at each other and answer at the same time. "It wasn't volleyball. And that always comes first."

AND THATS THE FIC GUYS. IM NEVER WRITING IT BC I HAVE NO TIME. Feel free to use it for anything but please @ me so I can see what you made! Hope you enjoyed this super long post lol.

[violetvelourr]

How long I have been doing art

People occasionally ask me how long I’ve been drawing and that question gets me utterly confused 😅 um, probably since I remember myself?.. 😅

First of all, big reveal. I’m old. Much older than you probably ever guessed. Because I’ve been doing digital art since 2003, and I was not exactly a toddler at that point, he-he. Don’t ask me my age though – I’m still a lady and I consider it impolite 🤭 but that might actually answer the questions of many teenagers why I don’t particularly interact much 🙈

So anyways, now we have settled my “art career” span. But saying “I began doing digital art in 2003” – well… I don’t want to do that, because people will be like, “whoa, 20 years”?! And will freak out at such a prospect – 20 years to get to my level, which is, frankly speaking, far from professional. Not to mention that before digital art I also drew traditionally quite a bit.

But the main reason is because “doing digital art since 2003” does not equal “for 20 years”.

How about we revisit these years and look closer at my digital art journey? I can’t promise that I will recall everything 100% accurately, but I’ll do my best.

So around 2003-2004 I tried drawing in Photoshop for the first time. It was an image of a lion, and to be honest, to this day I’m hella proud of myself.

Yes, first attempt. Yes, I drew with a freaking mouse!

My second piece from the same year span is the “Dancer”. oh yes, the remakable hepatitis skin tone 🙈

To be honest, I don’t recall having a drawing tablet that long ago, I'm quite sure I got it only in 2008, but looking at it, despite its flaws, I can hardly believe I drew that using a mouse… I’m not sure, it’s a mystery. The Lion was definitely a mouse artwork.

From thereon I abandoned digital art for a while due to studying, then work, and finally online RPGs…

In 2008 I posted my first digital WIP after a 5 year break.

Oh my gosh... Remind me to never try realism again, clearly not my thing 🙈

I think I was trying to draw an avatar for myself, which doesn’t exactly justify drawing a woman aged probably around 40 🙈 I was not that old!! As far as I can see from my journal, that artwork crashed and only this snippet of it was what I had left. I think it’s for the good. I ended up commissioning the avatar from a proper artist, ha-ha…

Over the span of 2 months I posted 5 more digital art pieces, none of them ever completed actually 🙈 And yes, behold how ugly they are...

My ambitions were growing faster than my skills were improving. The piece with the couple with that naked girl is my special pain because I even attended a digital art course by an amazing artist I was really looking up to back then – Anry – to try and finish this piece, but I failed miserably. I was the only person in that course (5 day 12hr/day intense course) out of 15 people who came “just for fun” – the rest were pursuing a professional digital illustrator career.

This is what I left off with after that course.

In this collage you see on the left what I came with, the middle – what the teacher did after I explained my concept, and on the right – my attempt to take the piece to its final form. But I could never accept that the base was made for me and not by me...

It still grips my heart when I look at it because it was one of my greatest fails. I think that to die peacefully, I need to finish this artwork 😆 If anyone is curious about the story behind this artwork, I’ll post it separately.

Anyway, as I said, I didn’t reach my goal, was hugely disappointed in myself and dropped digital art in April 2008.

However, I came back 1.5 years later, in November 2009, when I got into anime 😂

I think that’s also when I first tried Paint Tool SAI. Up until March 2012, I uploaded roughly 20+/- digital artworks/WIPs. The quality was a bit inconsistent, but I was beginning to get the hang of it a bit, finally. Here are some of them (yeah, the span of the mood is extraordinary):

So, in 2.5 years – merely 20 artworks. Just to compare, in 2022 alone I made 75+ artworks, which doesn’t even include animations and stuff I considered to not be proper artworks.

So, my last artwork from that period was in March 2012 (the one with the winged dude blocking the way for the girl), after which I abandoned digital art again, for good this time. I actually thought - forever, to be honest.

I’m not sure what happened then. I guess I just lost my motivation, got over my fictional crushes, was depressed and not happy with myself…

Problem is that in reality, I don’t have any imagination at all. Part of the reason why I always suspected that despite being quite decent in drawing, I would never succeed as an artist, so I could only say that my dream was to draw for Disney. But I knew I never would. And I knew I can’t do original art. Fan arts – yes, subject to being highly inspired, a feeling similar to a crush. I was too dependent on the mood. But even so… my artworks never were particularly fancy or original, I admit it.

Part of the reason why I’m also so sensitive about AI now. I see people actually living my dream, and I'm so happy for them. Working as illustrators, having an income from what they create... And that is being stolen from them now. That’s why I will probably never accept AI.

Ugh, turned off the subject…

Anyway, as I said, I abandoned art in 2012 and only picked it back up in October 2021 because of Kakashi. 😆

If my math is correct, that’s a 9.5 year break. I have been going non-stop since October 2021, so I would say that my ongoing artistic journey lasts for almost 2 years now. The previous 2-year period with 20 artworks – I’m not really sure about the value of that. The previous 7 digital artworks – even more so.

If I had to sum up my entire digital art journey, – I would say it is around 5–6 years, but in reality probably won’t add up even to 3 years, because the 3 years adding up from a bit of 2003, a bit of 2008 and bits of 2009-2012 had me produce only around 30 artworks, a majority of which were never even completed.

My main progress happened between 2021 and now, so in the last 2 years. And to be honest, I understand that if I am to continue - this is only the beginning...

[moonlight-yuyu]

Hand reading feedback

Hiii, Gigi! As i promise i came to give you your deserve feedback, first you said that i have a tendecy to prioritize self interest over the need of a partner, and well for a long time ago I was thinking I was a person who was meant to be single forever no because I didn't have the opportunity to date or having a boyfriend, it was more that I wasn't interested in all that and I had an unhealthy view of romantic relationship, in short words I thought having a partner=one of the sides cheating, I understand more now that it is a decision of both parties to be loyal or unloyal, but I was still scared because yeah I trust myself but dating someone while I prefer to be by my own is not healthy?, but I'm actually not scare but I have this thought "If it happen it happens but I don't want to stuck in looking for someone, I'm just going to try to be the best version of myself and that's all". I do seek success through action rather than contemplation, but I didn't realize it y until you said it! For me I didn't know if I seek for successful or not, and actually if I want it I take actions so I can have it, if I want to be the first in my class, then I will pay 100% attention and I will study the necessary time, so I will be the 1st place.

Gigi, know about my vibrant energy with my palm is like 🤯, cuz I'm only like that with people close to my or people with good vibes.

The final "There's a point where your interests must yield to those of others.

The lines symbolizing a moment of surrender, where your individual ambitions must be tempered by consideration for the well-being and desires of others."

Okay this hit super hard, because is like a 100% truth I thought if I didn't give I always thought that as long as it wasn't a burden for my parents then we would all be happy, my parents are in charge of paying for my studies, when I was choosing a career I wanted to opt for something artistic (I really like writing and music), but in my country it's something poorly paid and something that is not "worthy of pride" is like that career that your parents tell a friend about and the friend will not give a positive comment, I knew the perception that my parents had towards music, so even though all my life I wanted to play an instrument, sing and write, I simply ran away from all that, I ran away because by entering and doing what I would like, I knew that I would no longer be able to get away and I would disappoint my parents. I chose engineering (something completely different, right?), because studying that would make my parents proud and by going out and working I can give them a better life, but studying that doesn't make me happy. So maybe, if I had gotten into music before, maybe they would have an idea and everything would be different now? Idk, nor will I know. But now, I try to find the balance you mention, although it cost me my happiness.

I'm sorry if the ending is sad, but I understad all of that was my decision, and maybe i dont have the story in my hands, but having that things in my hands are mind blowing, like Gigi, again, are you sure you are a beginner beginner? Like OMGGGGGG, you are so good 😭, keep going, my love. You are doing it just right~

❤️🧡 Thank you for taking my request 🧡❤️

And hand reader Gigi, I support you! <3

oh wow thank you so so much for your detailed feedback! I read it slowly and taking in every word you said. I'll take your feedback close to my heart😘. I'm glad that wyou liked it and that it actually made sense. I tried it out with the ones who requested and it made so much fun so thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to learn new things and trying out new things. Thank you so much for helping expanding my abilities. have a great great and blessed day my love❤️ your support means the world to me❤️❤️

[a-route-up-if-i-fall]

assassins creed headcanons

idc how backed these r by actual canon btw. if u have a different view of these characters, that's completely okay. that's great, even. i'm just sharing mine ._.

altaïr is autistic. he fidgets a lot in private/when he's not "working." when he's ab to assassinate someone, he's hyper-focused and gets almost obsessive about every detail. his life as an assassin is his special interest and he has a waxing and waning hyperfixation on greek philosophy, specifically empedocles. he's demisexual and in love w malik. switch but always ends up bottoming.

ezio is obviously a slut. he likes to refer to himself as a playboy, and some ppl see him as a bit of a womaniser, but in reality he is literally out to give ppl a good time. in that way, he is a little whore of a man. pansexual. non committal but deeply loyal to his friends and fellow assassins.

connor likes to pretend he is stoic but i feel as though he is just shy and socially awkward. he desperately wants to understand the templars, but he finds it so difficult to sympathise with them after everything. i hope he kills colonisers for fun.

edward is secretly (or not so much) into men but refuses to admit it. he's a pirate so he knows all ab buggering let's just b honest. jim gave him like the fright of his life bc he thought he might actually be falling for a man so when she told him she was mary, he had mixed emotions. first, disappointed. next, oh thank jaysus i'm straight. that was not something he was ready to confront.

shay is fucking depressed and has issues w moral perfectionism. he wants to be good but wonders how he can b if he remains loyal to the assassins. he's also secretly not sure if the templars are in the right but thinks siding with them is the way to helping the most ppl. ambition is his fatal flaw. he regrets that things w the brotherhood ended as they did.

arno has an addictive personality. canonically, he's struggled w booze and gambling, but i think it's something that he is constantly fighting. he thought he would never be sober again after élise died, but surprisingly he found that drinking didn't bring him any comfort. he was just empty :(( he is also transmasc and i will not be elaborating.

jacob has adhd (though doesn't know the term for it obviously). one way he manages it is through exercise. so whenever he feels especially unfocused or irritable, he just freeruns the rooftops of london or finds someone to train with/fight. i can't help but imagine him as the jocks at school who ARE allies and would do anything to stand up for his queer friends but says problematic shit sometimes bc he just doesn't know the correct terms or anything. (edit: at the time of posting this i didn't know that he is canonically bisexual. as far as i can tell it was only made clear by one post from ubisoft. and i am disappointed in myself for not realising that. i feel like this is a part of a bigger issue of ambiguous queer storytelling especially in video games. it should have been far more explicit imo. but i'm always happy to see more gay rep)

evie wants to travel. she secretly writes poetry and doesn't show it to anyone. she studies latin for fun. she's really really good at maths actually. she was a bit of a snitch as a kid, but then she grew up and learnt it was better to just keep quiet about stuff she wasn't meant to see. she's a simp.

aya/amunet died before bayek. he had to recover her body from the roman hidden ones. he made sure that she had the best embalmers, a lavish burial chamber. and when he died, the community made sure they were buried together. back in the day, the chamber held scrolls that spoke of amun, with images of sekhmet and horus lining the walls. an earthquake left the tomb in the state u see it in in origins. they're buried not far from the necropolis that holds khemu's body.

kassandra loved her immortality initially. she spent her days doing impulsive things just because she could. only they got stale after a while. the fear of being alone for an unknown amount of time overcame her as she started losing people. until we get to valhalla and she learns that maybe it's okay not to be alone always, but feels like she always has to keep moving.

eivor is gender fluid. she eventually loses her eye, like odin, and despises how it makes her look like him. she never had children. ik that she's canonically into men however i feel its more comphet than genuine attraction. she ends up w randvi.

[realmermaid333]

Please sort The Hunger Games characters into HoGwaRtS Houses :

For reference (according wikia)

Hufflepuff : Loyalty and hard working

Gryffindor : Bravery and chivalry

Ravenclaw : Wit and learning

Slytherin : Cunning and ambition

You can include as many characters as you want/can.

And you can give a reason why do you sort that character into that house.

Thank you so much 😊

PS : this is just for fun, if you don't like HP or THG, just ignore this ask 🔥

@curiousnonny

Omg I am so glad you asked! I've actually thought this through many times before. I will sort characters and give my reasonings.

Hogwarts housing is generally based in your morals rather than character traits. It's the "why" that sorts you. Why are you interested in what you are interested in? What are your goals? Think Hermione, she seems like a stereotypical Ravenclaw, but she isn't one because she uses her smarts for bravery. Yes, she enjoys learning just to learn, but she was called the "brightest witch of her age" because she knew all of these spells and magical facts that saved her friends and helped Harry defeat Voldemort. She ended up being the Minister of Magic because she wanted to make the world better and be a leader!

So, anyway lol.

Katniss Everdeen- a Gryffindor for sure! She wanted to make the world a better place, she'd die for it. She made so many sacrifices and fiercely defended everyone in her life, even people she didn't know. She was courageous and she was a leader (although she didn't exactly want to be one).

Peeta Mellark- I'd say he's a Hufflepuff, he was fair and just. He was good with his words, he wanted to make things right, and he was always true to himself. He was also so very loyal, especially to Katniss.

Finnick Odair- Definitely a Slytherin lolz. He was a sneaky guy! He was great at manipulation and deceit, he knew how to get what he wanted. Like how he got secrets from Capitol people so he had dirt against President Snow. He was able to persuade Katniss and Peeta into following the rebel plan, his ability to charm people was likely why he was the one who was asked to bond with Katniss and Peeta and form an alliance with them early on.

Primrose Everdeen- I almost want to say Gryffindor for her because she was always so brave, but we have to look at the reasons. What were her goals? Well, it seemed that what she really wanted to do was help people, she was brave for the purpose of wanting to heal the injured. And while you could call that Gryffindor... this is where things get complicated for me... I feel like if she were more a Gryffindor, her bravery would be more like fighting for a cause or wanting to lead a cause. But rather she wanted to save people and give them a chance. She was patient, she was loyal to her medical studies and her family, she was hard working, she wanted to give everyone a fighting chance, even the Capitol people. I guess she could be a mix between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, but if I was a sorting hat I would probably just put her in Hufflepuff, I think she'd like it there lol.

Johanna Mason- I've been really thinking about this one and I think she'd be a Ravenclaw. She is brave, but she doesn't care for being a hero or saving anyone, she just wanted to be left alone, I don't feel like she is a Hufflepuff, and I don't think she is a Slytherin either. We never saw her being cunning or persuasive like Finnick was, if anything she kind of gave up hints that there was a plan quite a few times. (although when she won the games she did pretend she was harmless as a way to manipulate, but I still don't think that makes her a Slytherin, she was just smart af). I think she is Ravenclaw because is clever and witty, she also seemed like she would be rather creative. I'm not sure why, but she just gives those vibes. I feel like outside of the games, when she was happy and alone, she'd be someone who liked to create art and learn about different topics. I could see her getting into heated debates about things like politics and art.

Annie Cresta- We don't know much about her in the books, but based on my personal headcanons for her I think she'd be a Ravenclaw. She would be a very creative person who loves learning. I could imagine her getting very obsessed with topics and wanting to learn everything there is to know about them, particularly marine biology.

Haymitch Abernathy- A Slytherin!!! Even with how he won his Hunger Games, he was cunning and outsmarted the last opponent. Later on in his life, it seemed the only things that motivated him and really brought him back to life were rebel plans. Once he gets some sort of goal, he will do everything he can and pull whatever strings to get what he wants. He was never in the front lines of the missions like Katniss, but he did all of the planning and strategizing. He was the one who made most of the plans in the Catching Fire arena, he kept things from both Katniss and Peeta and played both of them, he used trickery to get what he wanted and he was very good at it.

Effie- She'd be a Hufflepuff I think, she was hardworking in her job and took it very seriously. At first she was loyal to the Capitol, but as someone who valued fairness and doing what was right, she later ended up being loyal to the Rebels once she realized the Capitol was awful (this was shown more in the movies, I think it is the only thing the movies added that I actually liked lol). She was also so very patient and loving towards Katniss, even when Katniss was super mean to Effie, she would forgive her. In the end, she was loyal to Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss.

[cthulhubert]

I uh. It's December. You may or may not have noticed.

I did Nanowrimo, spent my "creative projects half hour" slot on that, and completely forgot about posting my fourth year of daily drawings for October. Nevertheless, into my my art tag it goes.

In a fit of petty first world anarchism, I did Inktober's prompts, but digitally.

This year's been busy, so I tried to stick to my half an hour per day drawing time slot. (I say, gritting my teeth, forehead vein bulging as I look at the parts I don't like.)

I am forcing myself to acknowledge that the past year—with its approximately 130 hours of drawing practice—has resulted in some improvements to line control, anatomy, and perspective, but I'm definitely also reaching the point where several of these feel too embarrassing to post.

In fact I only picked nine, instead of the ten I did the last few years.

Please read some of the captions because at least I do think I'm funny.

Dreams was an auspicious start. I like this Bakugirl.

Fortune... exists. I should've been a little bolder with the fairy actually like, interacting with the dragon woman's palm, really being present there, instead of just sort of posed on top. I also should've made the table smaller, dragoness is supposed to be huge.

I immediately decided I was doing some kind of pair for Angel and Demon. Please ignore that the actual prompt was not Devil. It's close enough right? If I had more time and ambition the devil girl's net was going to be made of serpents. I did not really capture her "shouting" expression the way I wanted, but now that I'm looking it's not execrable. Angel's dreads are definitely more half hearted than I wanted. This one did at least convince me that my next batches of studies need to be of clothed figures.

Rise got my favorite concept for the whole month. Cause it's bread. Get it? eh? Please enjoy our little alchemist workshopping her lines for introducing her magnum opus. Tried to lean into cartoonish with her face.

I spent a solid 10 minutes trying to decide what to do for Dagger, and then all of a sudden it was like a voice spoke to me: "Do fan art of one of your favorite games of all time." I wish the Final Fantasy series hadn't abandoned that more stylized, cartoonish vibe. You know, one of the most interesting things about drawing is realizing that I am 100% looking at things that I have previously—apparently!—only kind of glanced at. Like I would not, before drawing this, have described Garnet as having, to be frank, a prodigious bosom, significant badonkerage, or ginormous dobonhonkeros. To be frank. And a really low cut top to boot. But here we are. I like this face. Wish I'd chosen a more dynamic pose.

For Shallow I decided to do a little snippet of something from one of my stories (coincidentally one related to what I was working on in November). The anatomy is a bit iffy. And even though she's literally supposed to have been buried in a shallow hole in the woods, I had to add a gravestone because I wasn't confident how well that showed.

Rush is another one where I was not at all sure what I was going to do until the brain noise intruded, "Firetrucks are red because red's the color of communism and they're always Russian[Rushin'] around." What was I thinking with that background?

Hilariously, I didn't notice the final prompt of Inktober and how well Fire went with my spontaneous choice for the previous day. It's only now that I'm posting that I realized during export I must have turned off the "background" layer that shows a(n attempt at a) continuation of the previous background. I recall being really frustrated trying to get the foreshortening right on this mischievous fire-ninja jill-o-lantern's arms, but it doesn't look so awful now.

It's fascinating feeling myself more fully move into the phase of learning where I can tell that I'm on the cusp of drawing this or that noticeably better, I just have to push, put a bit more time into individual pieces. And of course, practice.

Next I think I'll aim for at least four and up to twelve studies of clothed figures. Might stop to try and find some good hints on drawing a good fire, or something that suggests dirt.

But I also have some writing to do. I got engaged in my Nanowrimo project. I'm finishing something else up that a friend and I have worked on in bits for years. Of course, what I'd really like is to do some writing and drawing practice every day. It hasn't happened yet, but then again, between picking up drawing supplies and actually starting to practice daily, "It hasn't happened yet" was the case for years.

Until it wasn't.