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bobohu4eva · 3 years

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Pink Lace - Chapter 5

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: College AU, stripper AU, fluff, smut, slow burn

Summary: Baekhyun, a philosophy professor with mysterious wealth, got himself completely fucked over a girl who can’t let him into her life.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: sex work, mentions of sexual assault, adult themes/situations, eventual smut

Tag list: @smolbeanmika @leave-me-in-the-summertime @totallynerdstuff @bbhmystar @nana-banana @kimyhappy @thegreatandi @geniusloey @deligxt @baekswifey @bbhyun506 @lovebuginlove @bellamendoza @baekyeonoreo @bobohumyonlyboo

Masterlist

After your conversation with Baekhyun Monday evening Tuesday was spent desperately trying to get Baekhyun off your mind, with little success. He’d asked you if you liked him like that, and you couldn’t tell him no. Hell, you knew in the back of your mind that the answer was definitely yes, you just couldn’t bring yourself to say it to his face.

As much as you did like him, the prospect of starting something with a customer who was also your professor was still terrifying. What if you two got together and people found out? Or what if things started to go south and you were still stuck with him as your teacher?

Despite your other schoolwork, and cleaning basically everything you possibly could, your mind just kept racing with every different possible scenario for if you did tell Baekhyun how you felt. And most of them were quite unpleasant. He could lose his job, you could make class absolute hell for yourself if things didn’t go well, and so on. Different possibilities played themselves out in your mind over and over, and there was little you could do to stop it.

However the thoughts that stuck with you the most were the ones where things didn’t end badly. Thoughts of his arms around you, his comforting words whispered in your ear, and the gentle touches of his pretty hands on your skin. As much as you fought it, the attraction was there.

The way your mind bounced between thoughts was stressful to no end. Every time you tried reasoning with yourself, you just thought about how good he made you feel when you were alone together.

Baekhyun was always so willing to be vulnerable with you, it made you feel appreciated. He was so open about his feelings, and honest with his intentions towards you that it made it difficult to push him away. You wanted to be able to show him the same kind of vulnerability as well, but the possibilities if you did still frightened you too much.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to go on like this forever, sooner or later you had to figure out what to say to him.

Your essay was plaguing you as well. You’d tried to start it on several occasions, but Plato’s writing was so old timey and incomprehensible you didn’t even know where to start. It also didn’t help that every time you tried to start writing, all you could think about was what Baekhyun would think. The idea of turning a shitty paper in for him to read and grade made you feel sick. You knew you were shooting yourself in the foot putting it off but you just couldn’t bring yourself to start it either.

“You’ve cleaned everything in the apartment. Twice. What’s with you today y/n?” Mia asked as she walked out of her bedroom and into the common area, finding you once again wiping down all the surfaces in the kitchen.

“I’m trying to distract myself, was that not obvious?” You knew what was coming next.

“Baekhyun still on your mind?”

Yes. He was. In every possible way, good and bad, and you couldn’t stop it.

“I think I do like him.”

“See! I knew it!” You rolled your eyes at her. “Anything exciting happen yesterday? Did you decide to keep the money?” She asked, sitting down at the dining room table, you sitting down across from her.

“I’m keeping it, I tried giving it back but he told me some stuff and turns out he doesn’t need it after all.”

“So he IS rich?!”

“Yeah... although not from anything cool or fun. His rich parents died recently.”

“Oh shit, that sucks. That must’ve been an awkward conversation.”

“Not really. I don’t know why but talking to him is getting easier and easier. I even stayed after he told me I could go.”

“You really must like him then, damn. Can’t blame you though, he is hot.” You shot her an angry look but you both knew she was right. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

“Do about what?”

“You liking him. He obviously likes you a lot too, so what happens next?”

“Nothing. He’s my professor.”

The look she shot you next said something reminiscent of ‘are you fucking serious’.

“Oh come on y/n this guy is hot, and rich, and super into you. Even if he is your professor you can’t pass up a fling at least.”

“And when it ends? What then? Or if someone finds out he’s fucking a student? He’d lose his job and it would be my fault.”

“No, it would be his fault, and he’s rich anyway so it wouldn’t even matter.”

You thought back to your last conversation with Baekhyun, and what he said about his parents. Even if he did choose to risk it for you, the thought of him losing a job that meant so much to him still didn’t sit right with you.

“It would matter to me. Either way I don’t want other students shit talking me either. If my classmates found out there was something between us it would be hell.”

“All I'm hearing right now, is that you just need to not get caught. The semester is only 16 weeks, as long as nothing gets out while you’re in his class nothing too bad can happen. You just have to be careful.”

You thought about it, and she wasn’t exactly wrong. As long as nothing got out while you were his student, nothing too bad could happen.

“He won’t lose his job if people find out we’re together later on when I’m not his student anymore, right?”

Mia shrugged. “He doesn’t hold any power over you anymore then so I don’t see why he’d get in any trouble. People might just think it’s weird since he’s older. How old is he anyway? He looks young.”

“I’m not exactly sure... Somewhere around 30? Late 20s maybe? I should ask him.”

“Yeah you should. I still have homework I need to do, I should get back to that.” She said before getting herself a glass of water and retreating back to her bedroom.

The next morning you were exhausted. You hadn’t gotten much sleep because of everything that was going through your head. You wanted Baekhyun, and he wanted you, but there was still too much risk involved. But part of you kept thinking about what Mia had said as well. Could a fling really be that bad?

You were nervous to see him too. You still hadn’t given him an answer to his question, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to dodge it forever. Lying seemed like a decent option, but you knew with how honest and vulnerable Baekhyun always was with you, you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to lie to him. Especially when you did want something more with him, you were just scared.

As philosophy class drew closer and closer you felt uneasy. You felt bad seeing Baekhyun again without giving him an answer, but you didn’t know how or what to say. You only hoped he wouldn’t press you for it.

Class went by and you didn’t speak to him. He didn’t keep you after either, which was a relief. You had been hoping he’d at least go over some stuff that would help you on your essay, but you had no such luck, and you needed it done by midnight if you wanted any credit.

When you got home you cursed yourself for procrastinating so much, but you had other homework too and you knew you’d be able to focus on that better, so you started it first.

Eventually your mind got sucked into your physics assignment, and you forgot about Baekhyun and the essay, too focused on the task at hand.

By the time you were done with your other assignments it was 8pm. Four hours until you had to submit your essay. One hour went by just reading and rereading the text you were supposed to write about. Another was wasted on an intro paragraph you kept deleting, because you still couldn’t understand the text. When 10pm hit, and you started to panic.

You realized that you weren’t going to be able to do it. Your mind was now in freak out mode and you couldn’t concentrate anyway. Either the paper wasn’t getting turned in at all, or you needed to do something fast. In any other class you would’ve BS-ed your way through it to turn at least something in, but you just couldn’t do that knowing Baekhyun was going to read it. You weren’t going to be able to submit it that night, but you needed to at least contact him and explain so he wouldn’t think you were stupid.

By 10:30 you found yourself scrolling through your contacts, staring at his name. You’d thought about emailing him, but he probably wouldn’t see until morning and you didn’t have that much time.

In hindsight you probably would’ve been fine to just send an email and try to get an extension, but the combination of anxiety over your grade and wanting to talk to him had his name in your phone looking better and better.

So you called.

Your nerves were on fire as you waited for him to hopefully pick up. Was this stupid? Would he even answer? Worst of all, what if he was disappointed in you for not being able to do the assignment?

After a few rings, he picked up. “Hello?”

“Hi Baekhyun, it’s y/n.”

“Y/n? Are you alright what’s going on?” You could hear the concern in his voice even over the phone, and you remembered why he gave you his number in the first place.

“I- I can’t do the essay.” You felt your voice shake, before unloading all your grievances in one breath “I read the thing a million times and I still have no idea what it’s about and I put it off until tonight cause it was making me so anxious but I still can’t focus and now it’s too late and I don’t know what to do and I’m freaking out.”

You heard him sigh. “Slow down, It’s okay, I know it’s a difficult assignment. Have you at least started?”

“No..” You felt tears swelling in your eyes, threatening to spill and you’re sure he can hear it in your voice even over the phone. “Can I just skip this one? I tried to start it so many times but I don’t know how to analyze something I can’t even understand.” You choked out.

“Y/n...” You could tell he was thinking of what to do. He probably shouldn’t give you special treatment, and you knew that but right now you hoped he would just give in. Unfortunately you had no such luck. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you just not do it. It would make it too obvious that I’m treating you differently than other students.”

“Then can you at least help me? Or give me more time? Please?” You begged.

“I’m still in my office. I can help you if you meet me here.”

You felt your palms get sweaty and your heart beat faster at the idea of going to his office again after what had happened last time, especially this late at night and in such a fragile state.

“O-okay. I’ll be there in 10. Bye.” You said, hanging up before he could respond.

Quickly you got on some shoes and drove yourself to the building his office was located in. Last time you’d been in there he’d asked you about your feelings for him, and now you had to go back. You told yourself to just focus on getting the essay done, but the thought still hung around in the back of your mind as you walked down the hall towards Baekhyun’s office. You felt jittery and embarrassed, but you needed to do this for your grade.

After taking a few deep breaths to ready yourself, you knocked on the door, and heard a muffled “Come in” from the other side, so you let yourself in. Baekhyun was sitting at his desk, which was covered in papers you assumed he’d been grading. Instead of the nicer clothes he would usually wear during lecture, he was just wearing a black t shirt and sweats now.

“You know you scared the shit out of me when you called. I thought you were in danger or something.” He said to you as you sat down in front of him. “I really didn’t think you’d call me over school work.”

“I’m sorry..”

“It’s okay! I’m not mad or anything, just surprised. What part of the text are you having trouble with?��

“All of it...” You felt your lip starting to quiver. “I’m sorry I know this sounds so stupid and you probably think I’m just trying to take advantage of how you like me but I promise it’s not like that.” You said, looking down and fidgeting with your hands, trying to hide the frustration on your face.

Baekhyun crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, smiling. “I never said I thought that. I told you it’s not an easy assignment, it’s ok if you’re having trouble. Plato can be difficult especially for people who aren’t used to reading things that old.”

“I should’ve at least started earlier...”

“Probably, but it’s too late to dwell on that now. Let’s just try to go over the reading together, yeah?” You nodded.

He moved his chair to your side of the desk before opening your textbook to the reading for the essay.

“So the first thing that makes The Ring of Gyges so confusing is that you don’t really know who’s talking. Basically it’s a conversation between Plato and his brother Glaucon where they’re discussing justice, and it’s actually Glaucon speaking for most of it, not Plato.”

You were listening to what he was saying of course, but you were still distracted by the proximity. Baekhyun was sitting right next to you now, arms almost touching. The only other time the two of you got that close was at the club. And you did not need to be thinking about that while he was explaining your assignment to you.

“Are you following me so far?”

Your eyes immediately shot up from the book to meet his, and you quickly nodded. Having him look you in the eyes again like that made your face feel hot.

“Glaucon argues that people only peruse justice for the benefits of it, and not because they actually want to be good people. He uses the example of a ring that grants it’s user invisibility, therefore allowing them to do unjust things like steal without being caught. He tells Plato a story about a man who finds such a ring and uses it do overthrow the king.”

You groaned. “It still doesn’t make sense though, what does some story about a stupid ring have to do with justice?”

“Well, if you were given the ability to steal and deceive people for your own benefit, without ever having to worry about getting caught, wouldn’t you do it too?” You stayed silent. “Basically, what you need to understand is what Glaucon is arguing. He’s saying that doing good deeds isn’t a part of human nature, and everyone would behave unjustly if they knew they would never get caught. Therefore, justice is something people pursue not out of want, but out of fear of the consequences if they don’t.”

All you could do was stare at him. It was infuriating how attractive he sounded while explaining it to you.

“Do you have a bit of a better idea what to write about now? Remember it’s only two pages, so don’t stress too much.”

You snapped yourself out of your thoughts. “Yeah, it makes a bit more sense now... do I still need to finish it tonight or?”

“Friday. Just email it to me by midnight on Friday and I won’t count it late.” He said, smiling again.

“Thank you for doing this, I’m sorry it was so late and everything.”

Baekhyun just chucked, “You know if it’s you I don’t mind. You could keep me here all night with questions and I wouldn’t stop you. But you understand now, right?”

The way he was smiling at you now along with the closeness was making you slightly dizzy.

“I think so, Glaucon is basically saying that injustice is better than justice then right? Because everyone would do unjust things if they’d always get away with it.”

Baekhyun nodded.

“So according to him the best way to live life would be to do things you know are wrong, but without being caught.”

“Exactly. See, I knew you were smart, y/n.” A smirk had made its way onto his face as he spoke.

You couldn’t help connecting what he was saying to what you were feeling inside towards him. You wanted him, and you knew it was wrong, but how could you deny it to yourself when it felt so right?

“Baekhyun...” You asked, hesitantly. “D-do you think it’s okay to do things you know are wrong, as long as no one finds out?”

“I think it depends what you’re talking about.” He answered, now looking you in the eyes again with intensity. “I would never kill anyone, for any reason, even if I knew I could get away with it. But, if I really wanted something, I think I would take it.”

You were hyperaware of how his eyes were now scanning your face, lingering on your lips. “Take what?”

A hand made contact with your thigh, slowly moving up until he stopped, right below the hem of your shorts. His thumb drew soft circles on the sensitive inner flesh, giving you goosebumps.

“I know you feel it too, you want this, don’t you?” Baekhyun asked, now moving a stand of hair out of your face. He let his hand rest on the back of your neck, keeping you facing towards him.

Your heart felt like it was about to short circuit from how fast it was beating. Your palms were sweaty and you could feel yourself shaking slightly. The way his thumb stroked your neck beneath your ear made you shiver, and you knew he saw. All you could do was stare back at him, dumbfounded. Any words you tried to get out stuck in your throat. He was right, you did want it. Now more than ever.

“Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you right now. I dare you.” He said, running his thumb over your bottom lip, eyes fixed on how it trembled beneath his touch. He was slowly moving your face closer his, but you didn’t stop him.

Your silence told Baekhyun all he needed to know, and his lips quickly found yours. Immediately you let yourself melt into the kiss. You felt your whole body buzzing, finally getting what it had wanted for so long. His lips felt unbelievably soft against yours, moving in a slow rhythm as his other hand came up from your thigh to cup your face as well. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, letting it become messier and more desperate.

“I like you” you pulled away just enough to whisper “so fucking much.” You felt him grin into the kiss as your lips met again.

He tasted like strawberries, and you felt high as your lips kept crashing together with more and more need. Your whole body felt like it was set on fire and simultaneously dunked in an ice bath, every nerve vibrating with want.

When Baekhyun pulled your bottom lip gently between his teeth you let out a soft moan, and he started to lose it. He broke the kiss, standing up and pulling with him, before backing you up against the wall, a hand on either side of your head.

“Sweetheart, don’t push me” He breathed, and started peppering kisses along the side of your neck, from under your ear down to your collarbone, sucking and biting on the way.

Trapped between him and the wall, you felt weak and breathless. Your brain was in overdrive and you gasped at his ministrations, hands burying themselves in his soft hair. His hands had traveled down to your waist, holding you against him tightly.

“Baekhyun” You breathed out, rubbing your thighs together as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot.

“Fuck, y/n. Don’t say that.” He forced the words out through gritted teeth.

His body pressed you into the wall, and your arms wrapped around him pulling him into you even tighter. He was completely consuming your senses and your knees felt wobbly from the intensity of it all. He was already smothering your entire front, but you tried to pull him even closer regardless.

You felt something hard press into your hip as his mouth covered yours again, and this time you shamelessly moaned his name into his open mouth.

Much to your disappointment, Baekhyun immediately detatched himself from you, backing up until his back hit the opposite wall of the office. You could see how turned on he was by the outline of his dick through his pants and the pained look in his face.

“Fucking christ...” He said, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. You just watched from the other side of the room. He kept his eyes closed and you observed as his jaw clenched and unclenched before you heard him continue. “You have to go. If you don’t I’m gonna fuck you on my desk and I won’t be gentle.”

Your throat went dry at his crude words, but you couldn’t deny your own arousal. You walked back towards him, reaching out to touch his chest which was now rising and falling rapidly, but he grabbed you before you could make contact. His grip on your wrist was so tight it was almost painful. His knuckles were white, and you could see a drop of sweat trickle down the side of his face.

His eyes bore into your own with a stare that warned you not to try anything more.

“I’m sorry y/n but you have to leave. Not tonight. Not like this.” With his free hand he grabbed your belongings off his desk, shoving them into your arms.

Still speechless, he opened the door and pulled you outside before going back in and closing the door behind him. You stood and stared at his office door for a minute, recollecting yourself and processing what the hell had just happened.

Eventually your shaky legs began making their way down the hallway, back towards your car. You were pretty sure a janitor saw you as you turned the corner just down the hall from Baekhyun’s office. You kept your head down, trying to hide your face best you could while hurrying past.

Once you were sitting in your car, you slumped into the seat, mind still in a daze after what happened in Baekhyun’s office. You waited for your breathing and heartrate to slow down before you drove away.

Baekhyun left shorty after you as well, unable to concentrate on anything but the sound of you moaning his name. He felt terrible for throwing you out of his office but he’d meant what he said. He didn’t want his first time to have you to be in his office, purely fueled by pent up lust. He wanted to give you more than that.

More than anything, he just couldn’t believe he’d gotten what he’d wanted for the entire summer. It didn’t seem possible, but now it had happened. And you actually kissed him back. It felt too good to be true. He felt himself once again struggling to sleep, but this time because he was too excited. This time, he didn’t have to keep himself up wondering, he knew he had you. He just couldn’t wait to see what would happed now.

You on the other hand couldn’t stop worrying about that exact thing as you stared at the ceiling above your bed. What would happen now? The thoughts weren’t fearful anymore, there was just too many of them to shut your mind down enough to sleep.

You’d finally allowed yourself to give into him, and there was no more turning back.

Next Chapter

#baekhyun #exo #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic #exo fluff #exo smut

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 3 years

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Six Weeks Into an Era

A sequel to Three Weeks Into an Era. Someone ages ago asked for a sequel. Blame them 👀💅🏾.

The plantation hidden deep into private land was an instant success and as reporters broadcasted nationally on the mass disappearance of white men over the age of 21 with an unfamiliar air of fear and a new sense of panic, no connection could be made between the disappearances and the new booming businesses due to the preexisting condition that is outsourcing factory labor. Erik and his crew were fat cats rolling in dough. Dante had been promoted to head of the all-male plantation as Erik floated from camp to camp, the latest camp being for women. It was 10 miles away from the first camp and nicknamed Camp Karen by the all-female team of overseers that supervised the property.

"PICK UP YOUR MACHETE AND SWING YOUR GOD DAMN ARM, BRIDGETTE," Kathy seethed turning bright pink under her frosty white bobbed hair. She'd been toiling in the high heat for three hours, the sun beating on her causing sweat to drip all down her chiffon blouse. She was soaked and pissed.

"You better listen to her, Bridgette," Shavon chuckled misting herself with her battery operated spray fan. "I'll keep y'all out here all day and night until all that sugarcane is harvested. You won't eat or sleep."

Bridgette was a twenty-four year old engaged yoga instructor and mother of one 2-yr-old according to her profile provided by Erik. Her favorite pastimes included yelling at people of color who she perceived to be immigrants and throwing around the N word at black service workers. She'd even gotten violent on numerous occasions. Now she was screaming to the top of her lungs in a sugarcane field, refusing to work despite the fact that she was holding up twelve other exhausted and angry white Karens who were all but frothing at the mouth . She picked up the machete and swung it wildly.

"I don't care if you hit them lice lizards you rode in with, bitch, but if you swing it this way I'll assume you're swinging at me and you WILL be taken down," Shavon eyed the sandy blonde and lanky woman ensuring she understood. As Bridgette began to cry and wail, the other women fussed amongst themselves, fed up and exhausted from the hold up of Bridgette not doing her part. "Oh do you not like her behavior??" They had a nerve. They were all at the plantation for similar offenses. Some for way worse.

Thirty minutes of tantrum rolled by and Shavon returned to the air conditioned tent for a cool drink of Gatorade while Alexis took over as the active overseer. Alexis wasted no words having watched the entire meltdown from afar in her chair. She pulled her whip and lashed Bridgette on the back to snap her into quick action.

"This is what your people did to my people, remember?! You bring it up all the time to black people when you're getting your nonfat lattes you must remember but in case you don't, let me remind you." With another snap of the whip across Bridgette's back, Bridgette started working in double-time. She needed to catch up on all the chopping she had not done. "PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT," Alexis yelled. "YEAH I CAN SCREAM TOO."

Alexis had originally been gentle, but truckloads of entitled and extremely racist white women had ruined that side of her. She stung Bridgette once more holding nothing back, the pain of her ancestors her driving force in that moment. "Do you know that it's estimated that 40% of slaveowners were white women? Yeah? We were currency for you.. A way for you to escape your sorry ass lot as a lesser counterpart to your white man and gain some type of freedom since you couldn't freely acquire land. You say it's the past yet you still view us as your step stool. Well not here, bitch. Pick up the pace."

Meanwhile, at the all-male camp, Overseer Dante kept his group of caucasians in line by threat of fire. He introduced what he called the gun line. If any of the men were to take so much as a step past the boundary of the plantation he'd be dropped on sight. "TRY IT MILK MUTANT. YOUR TOE WILL BE THE ONLY THING LEFT OF YOU," he yelled to a younger pale face with trouble in his eyes. He had yet to be broken, but it was a matter of time.

Erik was out with the truck on the hunt, ready to abduct new cattle based on a list of addresses and coordinates. The world had all but come to a stop, discussing the disappearances to the point that it was the main topic on all news stations and had been for a while. Pictures of socially high ranking white men were displayed from MSNBC to FOX. The president had declared a state of emergency. It was disgusting for Erik to witness considering the ratio of missing white men compared to black men. There had never been so much as a televised conference or lasting discussion regarding the disappearance of non-white people. Erik felt even more justified in his actions. Erik's team also felt just as justified.

"WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO HOME," Bridgette collapsed into the soil, shaking and crying, her portion of the harvest not near complete. "I just wanna go to take care of my SON!" Snot dripped down her top lip mixed with dirt, tears, and sweat.

"You think I give a damn about your little snotty nosed brat? When MY people, my literal great-grandmother was ripped away from her own child? Couldn't breastfeed her own child because she had to breastfeed a white woman's child? Cook and clean in a white woman's home to survive? You think I give a fuck about you? My great-grandmother was whipped by a white woman for being raped by the white husband. She went blinding one eye because of it. The same white women she cooked and cleaned for and raised her child. You think I'm supposed to give a damn about yours? Get the hell up," her top lip disappeared over her teeth as she reared the whip in a real threat once more. Bridgette scrambled to her feet, still sobbing as Alexis walked away back to the tent to collect herself.

"You okay?" Shavon had listened to the whole thing, sipping cold Gatorade in the cool air.

"I'm irritated, I just need to watch some Family Feud to get my mind off of it," she muttered dropping down to watch the small television.

"Girl don't let it get to you, you let that whip get to them ranch roaches and release that stress."

"I know, girl.. I know.." She propped her feet up with a cold beer in hand and Shavon returned to the field refreshed with a new idea in mind.

"Since SOME of you moon crickets don't wanna work there's gonna be some changes around here. Going forward, the last one to finish gets 10 lashes and a night sleeping in the hole. Hopefully that lights a fire under your meth addicted pink and red flat asses. We know who's sleeping in the hole tonight!"

Bridgette's angry shriek was at its loudest yet.

"That's for you Lexi," Shavon called to the tent with a proud grin. Alexis waved in grateful solidarity just as the familiar drop off truck rolled in.

"ERIK," Alexis exclaimed jumping up and fixing her hair to jog to the truck. It was him and he was tired and brooding as usual. "Hey, we've been keeping them busy on our side. Are you gonna stay?"

"Girl, let him out the truck," Shavon smirked from the side, prompting Alexis to stop blocking his door. She was overly excited as always and as always, Erik was uninterested.

"New shipment," he spoke to Shavon giving her the details on eight new women who could be heard screaming as soon as Erik lifted the sound proof gate. "Your problem now," he patted her shoulder with humor in his weary eyes. "Have fun."

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #black panther fanfiction #six weeks into an era

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mmonamona · 4 years

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Halloween [corpse husband x reader]

synopsis: you spend Halloween with Corpse. based on this request from @slashersdream

a/n: Corpse in a onesie? more likely than you'd think. i really got carried away with this request lmfao

Corpse had always been a connoisseur of all things spooky; it was the reason why Halloween was always something to look forward to. This year, however, it became even more special since it would be your first Halloween together. It wasn’t like you had any extravagant plans, but he was excited nonetheless. When you said you just wanted to watch scary movies and cuddle all night, Corpse had been one hundred percent on board.

...He just hadn’t pictured himself doing it in a onesie. When you first showed him the purple bunny onesie and insisted that it would be perfect for Halloween, he was reluctant, to say the least, but you smiled so brightly at the idea that he couldn’t bring himself to say no. You, on the other hand, were wearing a black onesie with cat ears. As cheesy as this whole thing was, you just wanted Corpse to have fun. You knew how hard he could be on himself, and you figured his favourite holiday would help him unwind from the stress he had been feeling lately.

“What are we watching?” you asked, walking back into the living room. Corpse was already sprawled on the couch, huddled under a fluffy blanket with the tv remote in hand. You sat down, putting the bowl of popcorn between the two of you.

“Uhh.. trying to choose between The Shining and Scream,” he muttered.

“Definitely The Shining.”

“Haven’t you watched that like a million times?”

“Yeah, but you’ve watched it zero times. So put it on,” you said, reaching into the bowl of popcorn, “for such a horror nerd, I can’t believe you haven’t seen it.”

“I just don’t watch movies, ok?” He chuckled, putting an arm around your shoulder and selecting the movie in question.

“Well, that's what I’m here for. We’re not getting any sleep tonight until you catch up on all the movies you’ve missed,” you responded, resting your head in his shoulder as the opening credits began.

The nerve-racking soundtrack would have usually unsettled you quite a bit, but you soon came to realise that with Corpse’s presence, your fear just didn’t feel the same.

It didn’t help that not only did he seem unfazed at every scare, but he also teased you endlessly whenever the action managed to startle you.

“Stop laughing, asshole!” You half-laughed, half-yelled, hiding your face in his side. As reassuring as being in his proximity may have been, it certainly didn’t make you immune to cheap jump scares.

“C'mon kitten, it was so obvious that was coming,” he giggled. Sure, the pang of terror you felt every five minutes wasn’t ideal, but the way his face lit up whenever he laughed at your reactions was worth it.

By the time you were halfway through the second movie, it seemed that both of you were running low on energy. You ended up laid out on the couch, your head on Corpse's lap as he played around with your hair. Not even the shoddy scares of the endless movie marathon could make you react at this point. The movie was mere background noise as you started drifting off, the feeling of Corpse's comforting hands almost lulling you to sleep.

“Darling,” he said, and your eyes immediately snapped open. Right, you were supposed to stay awake with him; you had countless more movies left on your watchlist.

“I’m not sleeping,” you answered quickly, but you feared the drowsiness in your voice would betray you.

Corpse laughed softly, turning your body on its back so he could see your face, “we should go to bed now, it’s getting late.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” you grumbled, a frown on your face.

“Well it’s a good thing you’re weak, then.” he retorted, a playful smirk on his face.

In return you pouted, face scrunched into an equally playful glare, “you’re mean.”

“And you’re practically about to pass out. So let’s go to bed.”

You sighed, but listened nonetheless. You sat up and allowed him to follow suit, “We didn’t even get to watch Carrie.”

“We can watch it another time, kitten,” he whispered, picking up the abandoned popcorn bowl and placing it on the coffee table. You watched him as he lifted the remote and turned the tv off, and suddenly the apartment was plunged into darkness. The resultant gloom made you groan in protest.

“Corpse.. now we can’t see anything,” You whined, only to be met by silence. Your eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden absence of light, and your boyfriend didn't seem to want to give any signs of life, “...Corpse I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not funny.”

You carefully tried to manoeuvre your way around the living room, still doing your best to hear any movement he made, but he was stealthier than you thought he could be. You knew that his goal was to scare you, and you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

“Corpse I’m gonna murder you-“ your threat was cut short, however, by the feeling of none other than your boyfriend grabbing you from behind.

“What the fuck!” You whisper-yelled, doing your best to not wake up the neighbours.

"You're such a scaredy-cat."

"Stop making fun of my onesie," you spoke, rolling your eyes at his pun.

"Purr-haps I will."

“I hate you so much.”

He just dissolved into laughter and gave you a warm back hug, his chest pressing up against your back, “You love me.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you muttered, “It’s still dark though, genius.”

“How do you even get lost in a living room?” He teased, guiding you in a direction you assumed was the bedroom.

“It’s not like I live here.” You retaliated.

He went quiet for a second, “...maybe you should.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and a wide grin spread across your face, “Wait- deadass?”

He laughed in response, “Yes, deadass.”

You squealed and pulled yourself from his back hug, only to turn around and pull him into another clumsy embrace, “Fuck yeah! If you’re sure.”

“Of course I’m sure. I mean you practically sleep over all the time anyway. Just making it official.”

“I love you so much,” you cooed, hugging him as tight as you could muster, before pulling away, “okay, now where’s the bedroom again?”

In one manoeuvre, he leaned forward, opening the door to your bedroom. The moonlight gleaming through the open curtains illuminated the bedroom enough for you to see.

“Oh. I thought we were further away,” you mumbled as you walked into the bedroom.

“How big do you think my apartment is?”

“I swear it feels bigger in the dark.”

“No, you’re just a dumbass.”

“Meanie,” you muttered, switching the lights on and turning back to look at him, “There’s my Corpsie! I missed your pretty face!” You teased.

He laughed, blushing and shyly looking away, "you're so annoying."

"Well get used to it, because I'm gonna be around all the time from now on," you smiled, grabbing his hands and pulling him towards you.

His face lit up with a grin as he looked down at you, "you're making me regret asking."

"That's too bad. You're stuck with me now," you quipped.

He leaned down and gave you a small kiss on the forehead, "Wouldn't have it any other way."

Taglist [send an ask to be added!]:

@holosexualunicorn7000

#corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfic #Ik I’m 3 days early don’t yell at me #wtf is the pacing in this was I high when I wrote this???

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generallybarzy · 3 years

Text

i loved you first.

an: I wrote this mostly a couple nights ago when I was listening to my "ouch" playlist and sobbing so hard I got a 48-hour migraine over the fact that I'll never see my crush again and I can't do anything about it because a) I'm moving in less than a month and leaving everything I know behind and b) he has a girlfriend. But that emotion eventually evolved into "i'm never gonna see some of my best friends again after we move away from each other next month" and that just turned me into this big pit of anxiety where I felt like time was just moving too fast but not at all and I'll miss everything if I don't go do something. So. I was fucking sad and this was the result. completely unedited angst. probably sucks ass, but that's how I'm feeling right now. Anyway, I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't really been around for a few days. I deleted all my asks so if you had something sent, its gone, and i'm just popping in to post this. idk when I'll be back this time, but i'm trying to take care of my irl relationships and moving and college and all that and it hurts a lot more than i can explain and everythings putting my anxiety through the roof lately. anyway........

song inspo: i loved you first- joan

word count: 2.3k

"You keep running away when I need you most

Running away when I get too close

My heart is full but yours is running out

I think I'm afraid of what comes next

Yeah, I'm afraid you've lost your head

Baby, you know that I loved you first

But now, you're in love with somebody else."

Mat was losing you.

You were his best friend. You'd grown together, laughed together, made stupid decisions together in the wake of your last breakup, he always came to to with his troubles, and, as much as he hated hearing the way your ex treated you, he kept his mouth shut and kept being the shoulder you needed to cry on again and again.

And Mat had been in love with you for as long as he could remember.

Ever since the night of your breakup, he'd been waiting for the right moment to tell you how he felt. You were fresh out of a breakup, and he knew that was the worst time to say anything, so he kept quiet. He helped you get yourself out there and smile once again. He brought that beautiful, gleaming smile back to your face. And it warmed his heart to know he had helped bring some of the sunshine back to your life. He waited and waited, comforting you after all your bad first dates and keeping his cool when you came over for movie night. He tried to ignore the way his heart pounded when you circled your arms around his waist and mumbled "At least I'll always have you, Maty." He tried his hardest to calm his heart and keep his eyes on the movie while you cuddled up with him, wearing his clothes, but the light of his TV betrayed him and lit up the way you were smiling against his chest, deep in sleep, safe and comfortable in his hoodie. He didn't tell you how he felt, all those years. He couldn't lose what he had of you in trying to get more. He would be happy with just this for now.

You rested against his chest, unaware of the way Mat was staring at you as if you'd put the stars in the sky all for him. He was so ready to give you his all, to tell you everything he wanted to say, to finally get to call you his, and hear you call him yours. He leaned down to ghost his lips across your cheek, letting the words fall before he even realized his mouth was moving.

"I love you so much, more than you'll ever know."

Maybe he said the words then because he knew you wouldn't hear, maybe he was afraid of actually telling you, afraid of the chance that he would scare you away with how full his heart was. But he didn't mind. He said it, and as long as he knew he loved you, he'd be content with staying like this for a while while you picked yourself back up and regained your confidence. Once you weren't still reeling from your breakup, he'd let it out. He'd tell you for real.

But then, one of your first dates went well.

He'd gotten his usual post-date text from you, the one he always made you promise to send just so he knew you were safe. He expected another letdown, a list of all the things wrong with your date, or ways they were just like your ex. Instead, you were gushing. Mat couldn't stand the hope in your messages, the way you were so excited, rambling on and on about this guy. He wanted to be happy for you, he wanted to be glad you were finding someone you liked, but he couldn't help feeling the pain from the sting that someone was actually taking you away from him again.

Soon, your movie nights together as friends were overtaken by date nights, and Mat was left alone in his apartment, sitting on the couch you used to cuddle him on, wearing the hoodie you loved to steal, and watching the TV show you introduced him to, half heartedly checking your snap story to see you in the middle of a date with him. He tried to hide his jealousy whenever you spoke of your boyfriend, he tried to appear proud and excited for you, but the hard truth he didn't want to face was that he was losing you. He was losing his best friend, the person he loved the most.

He didn't know when this started. He didn't know how to stop it, but you were pulling away from him. And that scared him. Mat couldn’t stand watching you fall more and more in love with this guy, not when he was right there, willing to give you all the love he had in his heart.

You were the one Mat went to on his worst days. The days when he felt like a waste of space, like he'd never amount to anything more than he was. The days it seemed like the weight of everyone's expectations was about to make him crumble to his knees. The days he needed you most. It only took a quick 'you free tonight? I need you.' text, and you knew exactly the state he was in. 'Of course Mat, I'm always free for you.' But ever since you started dating this guy, his texts went unanswered, unseen, and he was left alone on his hardest nights, with harsh reminders that the girl he loved was falling in love with somebody else right in front of his eyes, while he could do nothing but watch.

This guy had no right to come between you two. After all, Mat had loved you first.

He had comforted you for years over your shitty boyfriends, and this newest guy was no exception. Mat would still find himself, on rare nights, holding you in his arms while you sobbed about how your boyfriend made you cry again, whispering to Mat that 'at least I know you would never do this to me'. But the next day you were gone, running away from him as if you'd never snuggled up in his arms for comfort, as if the late-night conversations meant nothing to you.

'You're right, I would never do this to you." He thought to himself, watching you toy with the sleeve of his sweater and snuggle into his chest to dry your eyes with your best friend's warmth. "So why do you keep going back to the man who hurt you, when I'm right here?'

Mat had so much he wanted to say, and though he didn't want you to run away again, he could only hold his tongue for so long.

"I'm so glad you invited me out for lunch, Mat. He's been such an ass lately, so I'm glad to get away. It's been a while since we talked, yeah?"

Mat couldn't bring himself to answer. God, his heart was throbbing in his chest. He loved you so much, but you were falling in love with an asshole who didn't treat you right. You looked so beautiful sitting across the table from him. The sun was gleaming off your hair, but the beauty was made sour by the necklace that sat around your neck, the necklace your boyfriend had given you on your 3 month anniversary. Mat swallowed back his nerves. "(Y/N), I need to be honest with you."

Any trace of happiness on your face was gone, replaced with dread. Part of Mat felt like shit for making you feel like that, but another, more sinister part, felt a little glimmer of revenge. You'd been running away from him for months, abandoning your best friend for some shitty boyfriend who you still cried over to him, and maybe now you were feeling a slimmer of what dread he had felt when he thought of your crumbling friendship, and the love he had for you that he couldn't do anything with. "What's wrong, Mat? It seems really serious."

"It is." Mat took a deep breath. He couldn't meet your eyes. He didn't know when he started to feel uncomfortable around you. You had always been the person he could admit anything to. Now, you were pulling away from him. "We've been friends for so long, but recently, I feel like I'm… losing you."

"Mat, you're not losing me."

"Yeah, I am. I'm losing you to your new boyfriend.”

Finally, Mat met your eyes, and was astonished by the fear there. How could you spend the last few months drawing further and further away, and then be shocked when he confronted you? Hadn't you realized how little time you spent together? Hadn't you noticed how the only time you spent with him was when he was comforting you from something your boyfriend did to upset you? Hadn't your words- 'at least I know you'd never do this to me'- meant nothing?

"Look, I know you're happy with him, and I'm happy for you… no matter how much you complain about how he's an ass... but… we- you don't come over anymore.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, Mat, I’m more busy than I was when I was single-”

“No, it's not just that. You stopped answering my texts. You know… the ones… when I'm vulnerable. When I need you. I get that you’re gonna be busy, but I opened up to you about shit I would never tell to another person, and I can’t even get a response. You're running away when I need you most…"

He let the silence fall between you again. After a few moments, you spoke up, "Mat…" but your voice fell flat when you couldn't think of the right words to fill the air.

"You still come over, but only when you need someone to dry your tears when your boyfriend did something stupid. You come to me. You only come to me when you need my comfort, but you can’t give me the comfort when I need it, and I’m fucking tired of it.” His words weren’t bitter towards you at all. That’s not what he felt. He wasn’t angry at you, he was angry that either of you had let your boyfriend come between you, he was angry at himself for letting you go, for being too fucking insecure to tell you anything. “You- you keep telling me you wish you could find someone like me. But can't you tell how perfect I am for you?"

"Mat, stop." You were picking with your fingers, a habit he knew all too well.

“I know you remember that night.”

“Mat…”

“It was when you were still trying to date, and always came over after your bad first dates. We cuddled, we…. We got way closer than friends should. I thought- I guess I just thought there was something there. I thought we’d end up as more…”

“I-” Your throat was tight. You hadn’t even realized how much Mat’s words were affecting you. “You can't just… drop all this on me right now, it's not fair."

"What do you really see in him?"

"What?"

"What do you see in him? Does he really love you like you know I do?" You sat quietly, your mouth agape, eyes dropping to the table. Mat’s voice dropped quieter. “You know I love you. I know you know. Friends don’t just cuddle and… and fucking open up about every single little insecurity and promise each other they’ll never leave, and say ‘at least I know you’d never do this to me. I loved you. So fucking much. And it’s so hard to watch you fall in love with someone else, when my heart is so fucking full of love for you.” Mat scoffed in spite of himself. He knew he was fucking it all up, your friendship, any chance of a relationship with you, and it was making his words taste even more bitter. "You know what's not fair? How I have to sit here, watching you fall in love with someone who doesn't love you nearly as much as I do."

“Please stop, Mat.” You quieted him, your hands shaking, in fear of what would come of your surely-shattered friendship. “I- I didn’t know. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Bullshit.” Mat was well aware of the tears beading in his eyes, but he tried his hardest to ignore the burn of them rolling thickly down his cheeks. “I- I was always there to hold you… to comfort you when your dates didn’t go well or when your boyfriend fucked up. Can’t you see?”

The silence that fell between the two of you was deafening. Neither of you could make eye contact, and instead focused on staring at the table, not caring about the people inevitably walking around you and wondering what was happening.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Mat.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn't… I’m with my boyfriend. I can’t just…” You shook your head. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Nothing.” Mat sat back in his chair. He’d said what he invited you here to say, and that was all he had planned. He didn’t think of anything else past this point. “I just… I had to tell you. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, I’m not gonna say you have to choose me or him, and I’m sure this fucked up our friendship like crazy. I just- I can’t keep watching this, okay? That’s all I had to say. I know you love him, and I… fuck, I still love you. I just hope you don’t forget about me, alright?”

“Mat, you’re my best friend.”

Mat stood up, sliding down some money for the drink he had bought earlier. God, he felt like shit, watching the girl he loved move on, knowing there was no way they could keep going on like this, no way she would want to keep seeing him knowing how he felt. But he couldn’t hide it any longer, and now, it was ruined.

“I gotta go.”

#this is probably shit and doesn't make any sense #i just had.......... emotions #welp

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imaginejamesandsirius · 3 years

Note

Hiii! I'm just only getting into Prongsfoot and I had this idea in my head for a while. Could you write some fluff and angst where James is preparing for a date with Lily and he admits he's not gonna be a good kisser so Sirius suggests that they should kiss so that James would practice? Sirius has a crush on James so he's happy he gets to kiss James but he's also sad he's gonna date Lily. Thank you :)

James paced back and forth across the dormitory, pulling on his hair nervously.

"You've got to calm down, mate," Sirius said. He was the only other person in the dormitory in that moment, since Moony and Wormtail had done the smart thing and run off when James announced that he and Lily were going on a date tonight. Sirius, as the best mate, stuck around to be helpful. Also because he would need to tease him about this later, when they were married or summat, and it would make a funny story. Sirius's stomach turned at the thought, but there was nothing he could do about that.

"I can't be calm."

"Why? Being this nervous about the first date, I understood. The second date you were more like yourself, and now you're all nervous again? What gives?"

"It's the third date!"

"Er, yes, I'm aware. I can count." Sirius was pretty sure he was the third most involved person in their relationship. He knew where they were going, and what they were doing tonight. Hell, he wasn't sure if Lily knew both of those, which would make him the second most knowledgeable in the relationship, which just wasn't right. For this, he blamed James. Bloody James and his fluffy hair and his perfect smile and his brilliant laugh. Sirius never would've been this involved in Wormtail or Moony's love lives. If they had any. "So?"

"The third date is supposed to be a landmark!"

"Of what? You've only been on three dates. You haven't gone anywhere important in the relationship yet."

"That's the point," James said, leveling a look in his direction. He was a little wild around the edges, not that that was surprising with all the other signs of panic he was giving off.

"I'm lost," Sirius admitted. It didn't happen often with James, but when it did, he needed it spelled out for him in the simplest words possible.

"The third date is when you're allowed to start being physical. What if she expects for me to kiss her? I don't know how to snog someone! I've never even kissed someone before. What if I'm bollocks at it? She'll dump me for sure and then I'll be a miserable wretch for the rest of my life."

And people called Sirius dramatic. "If you're so worried, then practice first." He may not be the most dramatic of the Marauders, but he was definitely the dumbest. Honestly. Record breaking levels of stupidity in his brain, showing up at this very moment.

"Practice what?"

"Kissing."

"How the sodding hell am I supposed to do that?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, then gave a little wave of his hand as if to say 'hi, I'm right here'. It took a second, but he could see the moment that James understood what he meant.

This could go a few different ways. If James said yes, then they would snog a bit, and he'd feel better about going off on his date with Lily. If James said yes, then they would kiss, and he'd say 'Well that didn't help at all because you're not a bird, now are you?'. If James said no, then he'd go back to being nervous, and Sirius would have to think of a different way to get him to calm down because at this rate, he was going to be too tired to actually go on a date in a couple hours. If James said no and wondered what was wrong with him that he'd ever think to suggest that, then he'd leave and Sirius would lose his best mate.

Alright so the last one wasn't very likely, but the other three were pretty realistic choices, and none of them made Sirius very happy. Given the choice between kissing James this one time tonight and never getting to kiss him ever, he would choose the first option. That didn't mean he would be over the moon about it. If James said yes and kissed him, Sirius would enjoy it very very much while it was happening, and then he would take those moments and roll it over and over in his mind until they stopped feeling good and started feeling like something was rotting in him. But hey, that wouldn't happen for a while, and he'd enjoy that ride down to the fullest. When it inevitably crashed and burned, nobody would think twice about Sirius being a mess. He did it every few months, whether he had actually done something to earn it or not.

Him and James were looking at each other still. Sirius, waiting. James, thinking. At least, Sirius hoped that he was thinking, otherwise it meant he was staring blankly, and that wasn't going to go anywhere, so Sirius would have to ask again. He'd like to not have to ask again, if at all possible, thanks.

"Is that a genuine offer?" James blurted. "Because if it is, hell yes. That would be amazing."

"Alright, come here," Sirius said, affecting casualness that he didn't feel.

James practically stumbled over his feet walking over to him, and Sirius would've loved to think that it was because James was that excited for the chance to kiss him, but he knew that he was shaky from nerves and that's all it was: nerves for his date with Lily. Because that's what this was. How to make James better for his relationship with Lily. It wasn't about Sirius. He knew that, no matter how much he wished that James was hopping on this opportunity the same way that Sirius was.

The first press of their mouths together was dry, lips pressed shut, and hesitant. James was nervous because it was his first kiss, and Sirius wasn't sure he could kiss James properly without giving himself away.

He'd probably stop holding himself back in like twenty seconds.

James pushed closer.

"Hey," Sirius said, putting his hands on either side of James's face. "Okay, first, remember that you have to breathe. Quick pecks are your friend in the beginning. Don't try and do too much." He was pretending like this was just a lesson, right? So he might as well go all in.

"Right," James said, giving a determined nod. He leaned in again, and it was better this time. A lot better. Good enough that Sirius wanted to push for more.

"That's probably good for this date," Sirius said, leaning back onto his hands.

"But what about after this date?" James asked. "There's going to be more kisses and- and snogging, and I don't know how to do that. C'mon, we're already here, we might as well keep going."

Goodbye self-control, no one's sad to see you go, especially Sirius.

While James was on his date, Sirius spelled his curtains closed and wanked to the thought of all the kisses they'd shared on his bed. They'd been sat right here where he was laid out now, and it was easy to turn what they'd actually into a fantasy. They'd started kissing, and James had pushed closer and closer until he was in Sirius's lap. In real life, James's alarm that he'd set for his date had gone off, and Sirius had helped him finish getting ready-- and look like he hadn't spent the last however-long-it-had-been snogging someone. In his fantasy, it was easy to pretend that they weren't interrupted, and James kept pushing until he was laying on top of Sirius. He stayed, and they started moving against each other, and James was desperate to get his hands on Sirius.

James stayed, and he forgot all about his date with Lily.

Sirius rode the high of that for a while. Long enough that he was able to fall asleep happy.

"Hey, mate, how was your da-" Sirius stopped short when James pushed him back down on the bed and pulled the curtain closed. "Erm, I'm sure my advice wasn't that bad," he quipped.

"Shut it," James snapped.

Sirius took a look at him. He looked tired, like he hadn't been able to get any sleep last night. Or if he had, it hadn't been very restful. He was still in his sleep clothes.

James ran a hand through his hair, and he didn't have his glasses on, which meant that he was liable to bump into a million things until he put them on. Normally, it was the first thing he did. Sirius didn't know what made today different. Maybe his date had gone really poorly. As much as Sirius would like to feel happy about that, he wasn't; he knew how much James had been looking forward to not just this date, but dating Lily in general.

"You alright?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," James said, and he got even more worried.

"What is it?" He leaned forward a little to listen and put a hand on James's knee to show that he was here for him, only James jerked away. Sirius pulled back, blinking. "Er."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you." He continued before Sirius had a chance to reply, or even digest that. "Last night. I was on a date with Lily, and it should've been bleeding amazing, but all I could think about was you. I almost ran out on her just so I could come back here and see if you'd kiss me more."

Sirius's mouth went dry. Merlin, was this a dream? Because it was a brilliant one, if it was.

"I mean, I didn't, but I did break up with her, and then when I got back to talk to you, you were already asleep. I... Merlin, Sirius, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Sirius yanked him close and kissed him for all he was worth.

James kissed him back just as desperately. It wasn't a dream, but it was perfect like one.

#prongsfoot #marauders #james potter #sirius black #fanfic #temporary jily #filled #hogwarts time #no voldemort au #getting together #siriuslystarbucks

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ecclais-fouoras · 3 years

Text

"Why do we always make love in the dark?"

WARNINGS: SMUT, MENTION OF PAST SEXUAL ASSAULT, INSECURITIES, (BRIEF MENTION OF SCOLIOSIS)

Enjoy !

Again, it was 8 pm we were both in bed, our hands around each other, in the dark.

And again I asked her to turn on the lights, and she refused.

And again I respected that.

We had made love so many times, sometimes even just sex,

and yet she was still insecure showing me her body.

Wilhelmina had her issues yes, but I still found her beautiful despite all the things she thought of herself.

So tonight I asked why, why did she not want me to make love to her with the lights on.

"Mina ?"

I asked softly as my hand kept circling her clit while i was on top of her.

"Yes baby....mmmm....what is it..?"

-"why can't you let me see you like this ? I think you're beautiful, and yet I can't even see your pretty face when you cum.."

She was stunned by my words, she moaned softly and her eyes got watery. I felt her tremble underneath me, but it wasn't from coming, so i stopped my hand licking her wetness from my finger

"Babe, I've seen you, naked and with clothes on, laughing and sobbing while tears stream down those rosie cheeks and I'm still here. Because I wanna be. I want you to be mine, and me to be yours. Yet when we have sex, i can't see anything ?"

She registered my words and picked up all her courage to answer

"I know that, but when we are intimate it is different. I'm scared, I'm scared you'll see something i hate and run away..."

"I swear if this is about your back...."

"YES OKAY OBVIOUS IT IS"

she got mad and pushed me off of her and started to leave the bed.

"Mina.. stop... Where are you going, we need to sort this out now"

I breathed as I rushed to her side of the bed and circle my arms around her body to stop her from standing up.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING LET ME GO"

"NO ! NO ! FOR GOD SAKE I WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE WHEN THINGS GET ROUGH, OR UNCOMFORTABLE TO TALK ABOUT...You need to work for this..."

I pointed back and forth between us.

"Honey, mina tell me what do you think will happen ? I've seen your back already, it didn't change anything, you are beautiful to me, with your scoliosis or without" I ran my finger down her spine and she shivered when I kissed the bruises on top of her spine.

"I know...but...you...have...never seen all of me at once, and especially when...i give up...control"

there it was, why did i not see that, it ,as obvious that during sex she was vulnerable, and she hated that as much as she loved to be topped.

I saw her summon all her courage to say,

TW: MENTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

"When I was younger..the boy that I was sort of "dating"....he...he wasn't very.. patient with me...and..."

She was sobbing, sniffling between words.

"Well.. i wasn't ready to have sex...and...after a few months...he got tired of waiting...and when he got to my house on day...he started to make out with me...ln my room on the bed....he undressed me and started to play...with himself...but as he got me naked... and flipped me over roughly to penetrate me he saw my back..and he...just stopped yelled that was disgusting...that he wasn't going to touch that...and he just jacked off...because he said i was giving him blue balls...and came on my back...then he just left."

She was now crying, curled in a ball on the bed we so often shared, and i was devastated.

Angry and mad at this asshole, for trying to break my Mina, and for having done that to her.

"Mina, I'm so sorry, i didn't know...it's ok we don't have to ever turn the lights on...I don't want you to be uncomfortable"

i said while spooning her and brushing her tears away.

After what felt like ages and her crying stopped in broke the silence.

"You know, i never told you that, but I was...too"

she turned around to face me, and looked at me confused

"Well, you know what he did to you..."

"...What ?"

"Well...god i hate those words, sexualy assaulted baby"

"No..no..no you don't understand.. he didn't do that...he was my boyfriend..and we'll just was tierd of waiti..."

-" Mina what you just described to me is sexual assault, it doesn't matter if he was your boyfriend, or your teacher, your family or friends. That has nothing to do with what he did to you. Mina you've been living like this, convincing yourself that it was normal, but it is not."

She was shocked by the words that came out of my mouth

"I..."

"I know babe"

she didn't need to speak, i understood everything perfectly, she curled up and nuzzled my neck, while I stroked her dark red hair.

"It's okay baby, your okay "

i tried soothing her with my words

"Your so pretty Mina, so Lovely, and precious."

"Thank you baby"

An hour later, we had both calmed down, she was now sprawled all over me, and I was stroking her leg softly.

"You know, I do know you'd never hurt me, and it's just my fear talking but why do you want the lights to be on ?"

She asked quietly.

Silence, silence piercing your hears, you had to think of something.

You couldn't tell her the truth but a simple 'because I like it' would never be enough.

So you didn't reply, at some point she even though you were asleep, but when she looked at you your eyes were wide open.

But she waited

"You know... you can tell me anything right ?

Of course you knew, but it was something you didn't like to talk about.

But you should, Mina and you had been together for a little over 5 month now, even though none of you said it, you knew you loved each other, she should know.

"I...when i was a kid... I always slept with the lights off, in the full darkness, I thought "if I can't see, the monsters can't see rather and it's easier to hide right ?" So every night I would sleep with no lights on... And one day my parents took in..one of my mom's friend who was getting divorced and was kicked out of his house...after a few days he would come into my room every night... I couldn't see him... and well..after a few weeks my mom found out and kicked him out...After that i couldn't sleep in the dark anymore, i was too scared he'd come back..."

She looked at me lovingly and kissed the skin below her mouth.

"Don't worry I'm okay now, i went to therapy for years afterwards, and well he is in jail because I apparently wasn't the only one he visited, and now I'm all healed"

She took my words, and a few moments passed by.

We both had your hands around each other.

You told Mina she needed therapy, for everything she felt about herself and her trauma.

She nodded and she said she'd make the appointment tomorrow.

We started kissing each other, it was slow and sweet. After we parted i said

"I just prefer to have sex with the lights on, and that is not the only reason, i just like it more, you can see what you do, your partners face, and body, and the way they move and moan. It's just priceless."

"I..."

"I know, we don't have to, I wont push that on you ok ? I'm just telling you what I fe.."

She cut you off by kissing you and replied

"No..i just want...to try tonight, if that's okay with you of course."

"Now? Like.. right now right now... or now like later now ?"

You rambled as you got a little excited at the idea.

"Now.." she rolled on top of you and kissed you again.

"Oh..baby if we do this...we do this my way"

you whispered in her ear as you flipped her over so she was beneath you.

She moaned at the sudden mouvements and whined when she felt your weight leave her body.

"Are you sure you're good ?"

You asked while holding the chord switch of your bedside lamp, she nodded rapidly and you pulled the chord.

There was now a low light in the room, and her skin lit up.

You went back to work, and unbutton her nightshirt, while kissing the middle of her torso, you went down further, admiring her from below. She was so pretty like this, panting and her hair all messy.

You took off her panties and kissed your way up her thighs, she shivered in expectation.

"Mmm... I can't wait to taste you mina"

She groaned loudly at your words,

"Your being such a good girl baby"

"...mmm...oh only for you darling...OH"

You cut her off by puting her clit into your mouth, and circling it with the tip of your tongue. You moved faster, never slowing your pace as you found her gaze with your hungry eyes. Her mouth in an O shape as you played with her bundle of nerves, her hips lifting up for even more contact.

"...please...baby"

"You need to tell me what you need, sweetie"

".mm..more...ah" she plead with her shaky voice.

"Come on baby you can say it...use your words pretty girl" you cooed as she was trying to express her needs.

"God..oh...I..want...your fingers..in me

.. please !"

You couldn't deny her request any longer so you easily pushed two fingers inside her hole as she screamed.

"OH GOD..YES..JUST LIKE THAT..."

You knew exactly what she liked so after a few seconds you curled your fingers inside her while sucking hard on her clit and she came eyes shut crying out your name. You went up her body and stared into her eyes

"Hey"

"...Hi" she breathed out.

"You were perfect baby, and oh your face when you come...i swear I almost came from just looking at it."

"Oh..did you now ?"

She replied biting my neck softly, and when she lifted my hips so I could sit on her face I knew this was gonna be a long night, and that i was so lucky to have her, and we both knew that we'll never make love in the dark again.

#wilhemina venable x reader #sarah paulson fanfiction #soft!mina #ms venable #sarah paulson characters

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brideofcthulhu10 · 4 years

Text

Here we are, I apologize for the delay you guys but I can guarantee you it is so worth the wait! A humongous shout out to my incredible co-author @imlostinsantacarla for writing this with me, I had an amazing time and this is arguably one of the best written posts I’ve done so far. SO without further ado, I give you

Lost Boys Fem!S/O Gives Birth [3/4]

CONTENT WARNING: Offensive Language, Blood, Child Birthing Process, Intense Environment! READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Marko

The soft silver moonlight slithered through the cracks and crevices overhead in the hotel, illuminating your form in a tender glow. You laid casually atop the dusty old couch worn from years of perpetual abuse, staring up into the cave’s ceiling at the little slivers of sky you could see between them, fingers fondling the soft blanket wrapped around you. Nerves caused your heart to stutter as another set of cramps waded through your body, making you feel nauseated. However, you put on a valiant front, hardly batting an eyelash as your boyfriend Marko sat beside you, eyes fixated on your form in an adoring fashion, though there was worry mixed within his countenance, a deep groove carved between his brows. Granted when you had initially announced your pregnancy you could have gone about it differently, however you were met with a joyous response from your adoring vampire. Originally David had suggested they turn you whilst pregnant to prevent any foreseeable complications, but there arose a new set of issues. Your infant would be a hybrid of vampire and human, something none of you even knew was possible. The potential need for a live body could mean that turning yourself before the birth could kill him or her in the process. Even if the birth could result in your death, unfortunately, all you could do was patiently wait, as going to a hospital was surely out of the question. Nevertheless, patience was a virtue- one Marko had yet to achieve.

The months of waiting grew heavier on him as time ticked by, whilst the haunting lack of knowledge grew more frustrating with any passing discomfort he witnessed. His inability to help you outside of a shoulder to cry on when your cramps became too unbearable to sleep through made him feel helpless, a sensation that not only was he unfamiliar with; it was one he absolutely loathed. The boys did their utmost best to be accommodating to the situation, and one certainly had to give them credit for the amount of effort they had gone through. Dwayne had gone to the library for a few books for yourself and Marko, including one or two children’s books for the baby. Paul had spent his free nights shoplifting for supplies you’d need. No one could dismantle and sneak out an entire crib like Paul could. The guy had created a craft in the endeavor. David, with the help of Dwayne, had scoped through the caves and old hotel rooms still salvageable and managed to reinforce one of the rooms closest to their own cave. You eagerly draped the walls in colorful fabrics, finding an old dresser for your child’s clothes with a surface now cluttered with stuffed animals. Toys were crammed into a wooden chest, a massive rug laid across the old wooden flooring to deter any stray splinters from harming you. Watching Paul and Marko stubbornly argue over the crib instructions was certainly the highlight of your pregnancy while David was barking at them to move out of the way when he came carrying in the glider chair in one arm and a mass of pillows in the other. Although, you had to draw the line once Marko had smacked Paul with a two by four. Surely, that was uncalled for. But according to Marko, not so! Best friend or not, no one said he had the building skills of a drunk monkey!

Tonight was the night that would mark round about the eighth month of your pregnancy, and, - if it were truly possible -, Marko nearly had a heart attack when your false contractions came into play a few weeks ago. This ignited a vigilant nature within him, motivating him to remain much closer to you than he had previously been, which resulted in a lot of checking up on every unusual sound that you made. It was impossible for it to be helped. Well, that's what he kept telling you anyway.

"You know, I can skip out on the hunt tonight…" Marko trailed off, cool fare fingertips dancing along the soft flesh of your arms, creating goosebumps to rise in their wake. The contrast between body temperatures was ghastly and you shivered, more at the electric shock that raced through you whenever he touched you.

"Babe, you skipped out on the hunt last night, and the night before, and even the night before that. Marko, you must be starving!" You sighed irately, tipping your head back in frustration before turning it in his direction. Ever since the news of your pregnancy, Marko's primal instincts to protect you and your child had grown in vast numbers. It was pleasant to begin with, almost endearing… Though, as months sped by it had grown a hindrance because the young man was hardly even caring for himself now, and he hardly ever left your side. Honest to God, it was smothering, leaving you almost agitated at the sight of him. He was aware of this, yet still could not resist the urge within him that called for him to aid you in whatever way he could. There was an ample amount of anxiety over future happenstances such as your water breaking, uncontrollable cramps, the ACTUAL birthing of the child! You were understanding of his concern, but there was only so much that could be done. After all, you wanted your baby just as badly as he did. But he couldn’t allow his health to decline due to his own worry, you needed him. And frankly, your sense of unease was bordering onto the bandwagon of fear when you saw Marko’s ribs sticking tightly against his translucent flesh, a plethora of dark circles sinking his blue eyes into his skull. He wasn’t eating, he hardly slept, and soon he wouldn’t be able to control his frenzies.

"I don't know, baby girl," Marko began hesitantly, his round eyes widening as they peered into your own thoughtfully. Worry had never been a good look on Marko, and now, you longed for the days where reading him had been more difficult. His anxiety was like a fungi, infecting your very aura at the same time. "I don't wanna leave in case something happens you know? I mean, yeah, I guess I'm kinda thirsty but that stuff can wai-" You interrupted him with your fingertips gently silencing his lips, your eyes having shut as you breathed deeply to calm your nerves. This boy was driving you nuts.

"Marko, I know how worried you are. I am too. But babe, I can tell that it's getting harder for you to be around me because you haven't fed. I really don’t want to start smelling like a fillet mignon to you, and if you’ve been looking at me like some mouth watering steak, we run the risk of the baby becoming appealing as well, I know you don’t want to risk that." You quipped with a quirked brow, lips tucked up into a wry smile as you stared straight at him. Your case was a good one, there was no doubt about it. There could be a very good chance that Marko, albeit not on purpose, could harm you or the baby if he smelled the scent of blood or even heard a too hasty of a heartbeat. And if there were to be an accident such as that, Marko would be plagued by an immense amount of guilt for all eternity. “Besides, it’s only the seven and a half or eight month point right now. I’m not having the baby for at least six more weeks. Right now, I need you to be at your best. Please babe.”

"But-" Marko began to protest.

"She's right, Marko." David piped up lazily from across the room, his eyes never leaving the book that he had been reading. He turned the page briskly before continuing, "You need to feed. It's the basic terms of vampire-hood. If you don't, you die! Now, what good would that do anyone then?" He inquired sardonically, a trace of a smirk in the air.

"Yeah, bud! David and Y/n are right! Just go on one feed with us." Paul grinned from ear to ear at his bestest pal in the whole world, despite the horrifying fact that said best friend had hit him in the head with a two by four. Excitement had been rushing through Paul's entire being during this whole process. He was going to be an uncle man, how could he not be excited?! It had been such a bummer since Star left with Laddie, it’d be cool having some new tiny mind he could influence. Not that he'd even get as far to really influence the child without getting a brisk smack to the back of the head by David before you and Marko could even lift your fingers. No, he would not be teaching your child about the world of “Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll” at five years old!

"I mean-"

"With the way you're going, you're gonna be a shriveled prune." Dwayne muttered out of thin air as he slowly rolled past Marko and yourself on his skateboard. The hulking raven haired vampire came to a standstill as he stepped slowly off of his board. Dwayne was also right. Marko wasn't looking his brightest. Feeding was a nightly routine for a vampire in order to ensure they took in the right nutrients their dead bodies could not produce for themselves. Especially since they weren't capable of absorbing those nutrients through human food any more. Marko had to feed, there was no whisking his way around it, no matter how many excuses he could come up with.

The trio of boys stared at the curly haired blonde, your eyes also capturing his form. There was a stretch of intense silence that flooded through the hotel as Marko thought over his options, pushing a mesh of frizzed blonde hair away from his face. He didn't want to risk going out and a possible complication occurring with the baby or yourself. But he also didn't have a strong desire to cause a catastrophic accident whilst going into a frenzy when your heart rate started skyrocketing due to cramps or whatever. Already his mouth was watering profusely as he stared down at his worn hands beginning to wither from lack of nourishment, the consistent thudding of your heart and the delectable rush of your blood in your veins made it practically impossible for the man to focus for much longer.

"Man, just go! I'll stay with her." Paul finally interjected, slightly irritated that his buddy was being such a pansy about the entire situation. "If anything happens I'll scream at the top of my lungs or something, man. I got this! Scouts honor!" Paul added sarcastically, flattening a palm over his heart as he raised his free one up by his head. The entire thing looked comical, it made the others laugh.

"Yeah, sure, let me get the flowers early for the funeral," Dwayne muttered, settling himself on another dusty old couch with a soft sigh.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, dick breath?" Paul roared, brows pulled together in anger, punching Dwayne’s shoulder..

“Can you even give scouts honor if you were never in it?” you asked with a laugh to your tone, raising a brow at the blonde trying to rapid punch the utterly indifferent vampire planted in place.

"Dwayne has a good point, Paul." David sneered at his comrade, blue eyes lit up like torches watching Dwayne yank Paul into a headlock on it’s way to a noogie. "You remember the last time we-"

"Ow! Okay, I didn't know she wasn't allowed to drink alcohol! But she never drank any so I don't get why you guys keep bringing this shit up!" Paul muttered, managing to wiggle himself out of Dwayne’s iron grip. With stubborn stomps he huffed, flopping onto the edge of the fountain in the middle of the room, his chin resting on his hands. He stared at you and Marko for a moment before continuing. "Man, I swear I won't pull another stunt like that again! I can take care of her! Dwayne told me the gist of what she can and can't have. I can do this, buddy." it was practically the most pitiful thing you had ever seen, it even tugged a little at your heartstrings.

You looked to Marko for confirmation and from the twinkle in his eyes, you could tell he was thinking the same thing as you. 'Let's just let him do this so he can stop pouting like a brat.'

"Alright, alright!" Marko stated, gloved hands raising up in the air in defeat. "You can watch out for her, but if ANYTHING happens, man, you've gotta go and find me. No fucking around and no fucking weed either!" Marko was firm as he spoke, eyes boring seriously into Paul's.

The sun broke out onto Paul's face, his pearly whites glinting from the fires scattered around the hotel. You could tell in that moment that Marko had made Paul's entire century. "Fuck yeah! Scouts honor, dude. Just like I said before!" the blonde rocker was practically bouncing in his seat like he needed a piss. He hardly looked like a badass biker vampire that went out murdering people left, right, and center every night. He looked more like a baby rabbit.

“I fucking mean it man,” Marko firmly repeated. “No weed, no booze, no being a dumbass.” Although he was being firm there was a slight twitch to his mouth. Being stern with Paul was often impossible but you had to admit, Marko was doing a grand job without the two by four!

Paul threw his hands up in the air in such a rushing motion that you were surprised they hadn't flung out of their sockets. “God damn, trust me man. I’m not gonna let anything happen! You guys need to gimme more credit here, who’s the one that stole a fucking crib for you assholes?”

With a tenacious huff, you wedged your hands behind your back feeling that the full weight of your belly was determined to keep you jammed between cushions, but nevertheless, you managed to heave yourself up and off of the dusty old couch with an audible grunt. The four boys' heads turned to watch you, instinctively with brows furrowed. They thought they'd insisted that if you needed to be moved, they would help you rather than let you strain yourself any more than you had to. But you were impossibly stubborn! You had insisted on multiple occasions that it was necessary for you to move, even exercise to keep you and the baby healthy. None of them were willing to humor you but you’d found that tuning out their protests was the best course of action in most occasions. And by impulsive habit, Marko dove over to offer you assistance, though you only responded by swatting his hands away from you. You were fine!

“I’m fine Marko, don’t worry I can get up on my own. Anyway, Paul’s right,” you agreed, looking over at your friend who beamed with delight at your praise, arms crossed over his chest with a nodding head of total satisfaction as if you had just given a mighty speech. “He’s not gonna let anything happen. Besides, what could really go wrong in just a few hours?”

"Babe, don't say shit like that, you could jinx it!" Marko cried incredulously, eyes practically bulging out of his head.

"Babe get a grip. There's no such thing as “jinxing” things." His worrying was really starting to bug you. And what did you do in turn? You did and said the exact opposite of him, a way to subconsciously counteract the apprehension that oozed out of him like a foul smell. Carefully you took his hands into yours and placed them on your taut belly. “See? Feel for yourself.”

For the past several months Marko had attested to being able to hear your unborn spawn within your stomach. Not necessarily thoughts, but emotions. Cluttered, wild, uncertain emotions that would come in jumbled waves. There was a weary contentment within you, sleeping soundly in a cradle of water kept safe within. Finally his muscles began to relax, tension beading out into limp arms as Marko pulled you in for a firm hug, holding you against him.

“You promise me.. If anything happens, you scream for me immediately. No toughing it out because you’re worried about me eating.” He mumbled sweetly into your hair, taking in a slow inhale of your heavenly scent. It was the one thing that could soothe his soul instantaneously, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Marko-”

“Please, Y/n.”

His plea made your heart ache with slight agony. It was a desperate rasp, his arms almost trembling. There was a rush of relief filling him when you wrapped your own arms around him with a tender smile. “Okay. Alright, I promise, if anything happens I’ll call for you,” you hummed in tender response. For a moment you had to take a moment to pause, feeling a low and deep, sharp pain stretching from your abdomen to your back. Instead of making a fuss you tried to ease your breathing before Marko could notice. You weren't prepared to allow a few false contractions to get the better of you and stop him from getting his fill of the blood he so desperately needed at this point. And you also weren't going to play into any of Marko's anxieties either. You could do that when he returned from his hunt. Gently you lifted his chin. His cold lips felt cracked against your own, cementing how desperately he needed to feed. Even his kisses grew hungry, and you had to pull away from him before this grew into a horror show. “Go, you goof.”

It had taken some further convincing for him to leave, by the time he finally left with David and Dwayne it almost felt otherworldly in that cave. The lack of presence was almost spooky, though thankfully Paul was nice enough to loan you his walkman to curb the initial silence. Playing his Def Leppard tape you sat back into the couch, breathing through the occasional cramps that would continue to sneak up on you in a pulsing fashion. Hysteria was always your favorite album, as the dulcet tones of the rock ballad began to lull you into a half sleep state. But the continuous bombardment of contractions had begun to grow concerning. They weren’t slowing down, nor consistent in their spaces between as they should be. Cautiously you sat up, counting out the seconds between the first and the next. One minute, two minute, three… and again. For a full minute your muscles spasmed and ached, almost drawing an audible gasp from your mouth. Again you counted. One minute, two, th- no! Now it came again at a two minute interval. In a haste you peeled the headphones from your ears, grasping your stomach as you leaned forward suddenly. Your legs buckled, every time you tried to stand the pain just dragged you back down. “Fuck.. oh go- Paul!”

The blonde vampire was so lost in his own world he was nearly jolted out of his seat by your panicked cries. “What, what’s up you- JESUS!”

Without missing a beat, Paul slipped on the floor beneath his feet, barely having the reflexes to catch himself before his face could meet the ground with a harsh smack. The floor was soaked! Seriously, who spilled water everywhere? “Damn man, what happened here? Why is it all-” again, his words were paused, almost as if they'd been caught in his throat whilst he looked over your doubled over form clutching your profound belly. “Oh- oh shit! Oh fuck no way! Shit, holy fuck shit are you-?? Is it?!”

“Yes! ” You cried out incredulously, cutting off his panicked questioning in a hasty fashion. A sudden cry escaped your lips whilst you gasped in desperation, your spine going erect as you flattened your palms out behind you to stabilize yourself. "Oh god!"

"Oh shit man, I better get Mark-" Paul began, face having dropped to terror.

"No! I swear to go- ow! Paul, if you even dare- I swear I will stake you myself! Ow!"

“What, are you crazy?!” He demanded, jutting his arms in your direction. “You swore you’d call him, dude! This is big, man, he’ll kill me if anything happens to you! Oh fuck but he’ll kill me if I leave you alone- Fuck!” Paul swiftly kicked over one of the tables, running his hands through his mess of hair. The thing looked more like a lions' mane in all honesty. “Bed! We gotta get you to your bed, like now!”

"And how are we gonna do that, asshole?"

Paul's face soured immediately at your insult and with a swift motion, he swung you up into his arms bridal style, paying little mind to your plethora of protests. “Shut up already. I’m not doing this for my fuckin’ health! But you gotta be in bed! I may be a dumbass but I at least know that much!” He muttered, carefully tightening his grip as you attempted to wiggle out from it. He rapidly stepped over tunnels and rocks whilst he swung his way into the cavernous nursery where your bed was nestled into a corner, his calloused fingers on one hand releasing your legs as he pushed the black curtains that draped heavily over the frame. And with that, he placed you gingerly down on the bed, staring at you with a perplexed expression with a hint of something else. Was- no, that couldn't be embarrassment.

"What're you staring at," you questioned, a nervous twinge to your voice. You rolled on your side to relieve some of the pulsating throbs that ran rampant through your muscles.”

"Uh- well- shit! I mean, we need to take off your pants, man. What if you start pushing and the baby suffocate or something?"

“I can’t even start pushing until I know how dilated I am,” your voice was quivering, clutching your stomach. “If I were to push too early it could kill us both.”

"Oh fuck! Where's Marko when you need him?!"

The dreaded predicament was growing increasingly deadly the more your body warned of its approaching birth, and soon you were left with a terrifying decision. Wiping away the thick layer of sweat misting your flushed cheeks, you managed to breathe out a hesitant response. “Paul.. You have to go get him.”

"I’m sorry, WHAT?!" Paul’s voice echoed in the caves at a high pitched octave. “No! No freaking way, I am not leaving you here, you’re having a fucking baby! What if something happens to you? Fuck Marko being haunted, there’s no way I would be able to live with myself!” Paul ranted on, throwing his arms in the air whilst he paced around the sides of your bed in an antsy motion.

Sobs made your chest spasm uncontrollably, rolling over again onto your back. No position provided relief anymore, the contractions following still at an even two minutes each. “It could be hours before I’m actually ready to give birth! We have to know h-how far I am a-and the only way to do that…”

“...Yes? What way, c’mon maybe I can do that!” Paul stopped dead in his tracks to face you, serene as he had ever been in his entire life.

“You’d have to stick your fingers in me,” you groaned with imminent embarrassment, receiving an equal look of humiliation and horror from Paul’s pale face. He looked down, then at the cave’s entrance. Guilt plagued him, this kind of decision had never been put in front of him before. He knew his options were slim, but he also knew where they hunted, if he could catch Marko’s scent outside he could easily find him. But again, he looked at you writhing in pure agony on top of your bed in tears. A knot tore at his own gut like someone was trying to rip them right out of him, his throat aching when he swallowed, a dryness had developed from nerves. “You sure you can handle it until I get back. You fucking swear you’ll be okay? Just for a few minutes.”

You could only nod in response as the pain was so debilitating it rendered you utterly speechless!

“Please, just go get him.” You managed to squeak out intensely. The expression of pain mixed with fear that captured your beautiful features truly did break his heart.

Paul sighed deeply in defeat, his fingers gently pushing your hair from your face. “Stay tough kiddo, I’ll be fast as fucking lightning.” You hadn’t even seen him leave, a huge gust of wind caused the bed to shudder, leaving you utterly and completely alone.

Kicking away your soggy jeans, you promptly pulled yourself to the top of the bed with your back pressed against the headboard. With every passing contraction you fought to breath evenly through it, fingers tightly clutching the sheets beneath you. “Fuck...god Paul hurry please!”

Paul flew as speedily as he could carry himself through the air, his nocturnal eyes aflame, rapidly scanning the ground for any sight of his buddies. The fresh scent of blood wafted through the cool night's air which coaxed him closer to the boardwalk, perhaps a mile or two north. The fucking sand dunes, of course! Sure enough, amongst a towering, crackling bonfire stacked high with the charred remains of surfboards that belonged to screaming Santa Carlites currently being devoured, there he spotted the trio of vampires tearing and ripping into the flesh and bones of unfortunate victims. Their blood spraying in odd directions, splattering across their clothes and hair. "Marko!” Paul yelled far louder than he needed to, panic evident on his countenance whilst he clumsily crash landed into the wind whipped rouge sands below. The display caught the attention of his brothers immediately as they finished off their prey in a geyser of crimson fluids, leaving the ground stained.

Marko dropped the lifeless shriveled up human carcass he had been cradling savagely in his arms to the ground with little interest for it any longer. His previous frail lineament now long gone, replaced with a healthy complexion. Although Marko felt he was back to his full capacity, he couldn't help the immediate apprehension and terror that sparked within his chest as it panged in his gut nauseously. "Paul?! Dude what the fuck are you doing here, where’s Y/N?? What's wrong?" He asked, panic straining his voice.

"Dude! Fucking hurry up! I think Y/n's in labor, man!”

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Marko demanded, grabbing Paul by his jacket. “You fucking left her?!”

“Marko, man, listen! One minute she was okay, the next she's screaming bloody murder and the fucking floors drenched!" Paul panted, doubled over as he'd flown here with all his might. "Before you ask, she's on her bed, okay? I took her there myself, even with her kicking and screaming. Dude I swear I didn’t just ditch! I swear, man I didn't wanna leave her but she said she needed someone to stick their fingers inside her or fucking whatever cuz if she pushes the baby will die, I dunno man but I'm not itching to do that ever!"

Marko said nothing, primal instincts kicking in full throttle as he sailed through the air and headed straight for the cave. His mind wandered to perilous details in furious cluttered thought, things that already created all the more apprehension to to twist in his gut, turning them round and round. His thoughts immediately went to the fact that you were alone in the hotel, in the purest of all agonies, having to go at this on your lonesome. The closer he sailed over the coastline the more he could hear. Your voice was just in the distance carried on the winds in gut wrenching cries that tore him apart. His next thoughts dwindled on your safety as well as the babies. He was very aware that there was no doctor involved in the mix, which meant no hospital and certainly no pain killers. He was terrified as his mind blasted through the worst of the worst. Didn't women used to die of childbirth back in the day? Was there a possibility that you could die?

Marko hadn't even noticed that the others boys had been hot on his heels, prepared to offer aid wherever they could.

"Marko, man! Slow down!" David called, struggling to keep up with the pace in which his pal was flying. The little bugger had gotten a head start, fueled by his pessimistic contemplation. But Marko didn't halt or slow down for that matter. There was no time for any of that! He had to get to the hotel and into your room as swiftly as possible, he wouldn’t dare slow down! What the hell was David even talking about anyway? Slow down?! Slowing down would do nothing but increase the chances of something else going wrong. He knew that the moment you'd spoken the words of, "what could go wrong in a couple of hours", that you had completely and utterly jinxed the entire night!

His body dove and swerved through the hotel passing caves and holes, nearly crashing as he sped to a desperate stop inside the nursery. Your screams were crystal clear, as though they were right there, yet the sound rattled his ribs until he thought he would pass out. Still hidden away behind pitch black curtains, he could almost see your pitiful form writhing in limitlessly excruciating anguish. Rapidly his steps carried him to your bedside where you were still smothered in fresh blood, wrenching away the curtains. The sight was a visage of carnage torn straight from hell itself! Yet you only saw your dearest prince, and it was truly a sight for sore eyes left distorted by cruel tears. His coarse hand clutched yours immediately, providing the first rare moment of sanctity you had felt. The sudden motion and contact from him startled you tremendously, causing you to shriek when another contraction sent you into a panic. "Hey, it's me, baby girl. It's just me." He cooed comforting down at you, his free hand smoothing your damp hair from your sweat slick face. He probably looked like hell, still covered head to toe in his latest victims blood. That probably wasn't the most hygienic state for him to be in during the birthing of his child. But he had to work with what he had. There wasn't exactly running fresh water in the hotel anyway. It was almost unbearable for him to watch you, the color drained from your cheeks, grasping his hand until he swore he heard bones begin to crack.

“Marko.. I-I can’t push yet.. I d-don’t know how far I am,” You choked out, pressing the back of your head into the mattress when pulsating rivers of agony wove through you in cruel waves. The pain was now a disarray of spontaneous choreography, a violent tempo swelling and spreading throughout your entire body, leaving your brain foggy and black spots waltzing at the corners of your vision.

Before Marko was able to utter a word, the three boys bounded into the room, breathless and covered in a film of dampness, no doubt most likely from the crashing waves of the sea that battered along the cliffs' edge. The intrusion was noisy and agitating, leading to Marko's eyes becoming beacons of flourishing orange and his head whipped towards the guys. "Will you guys get lost? I'm not about to have you guys stand there like the Triplets of Fucking Bullshit while I try to figure out how dilated Y/n is!" he practically roared, the cave was shuddering for a moment as specs of dust flitted sporadically to the ground.

“Marko, baby, please calm down," you begged him, placing a hand on his forearm. The sight of him still smeared in blood was one thing, but such rage even at his brothers almost frightened you, his head practically whipping around to face you with fangs bared and piercing white hot eyes tearing into your own. It felt like he had stared straight through into your soul which was certainly not what you needed currently. The petrified expression left plastered across your palored cheeks made Marko feel incredibly remorseful, running his fingers through his hair. He was running on little sleep and barely had enough to satiate his lingering appetite, leaving him still quite exhausted.

"It's fine. We'll clear out. C'mon boys." David stated, Dwayne having already left. He stared pointedly at Paul though, who was staring at you in fright. He felt as though he should be there, however, with David staring at him so intently, he glanced over your way. You could only give him a weakened smile, your gaze assuring him you were safe now. Paul hung his head low and squeezed past the spiked blonde boy briskly. And David followed suit, not sparing another glance your way. It seemed cold but truthfully, David wasn't entirely sure what to make of the situation. Heightened emotions made him uncomfortable. David was better away from this specific spotlight, and currently his friend was in a frenzy he wasn’t willing to have escalated in such a delicate moment. He'd deal with the aftermath once the storm had passed. Marko could deal with the storm singlehandedly if that's what he so desperately desired. I mean, David hadn't knocked you up, so why get his feathers ruffled when he wasn't wanted there anyway?

“You… owe th-them an... a-apology,” you managed to pant out, wearily smacking his arm when a moment of relief between contractions allowed your voice to return.

Marko huffed, shimmying off his jacket and tossing it onto the chair as he climbed on top of the bed with you, shutting the curtains. “I’ll make it up to them later babe, now’s not the fucking time.” Marko grumbled indignantly, his vampiric features morphing back to his human ones.

It was incredibly important for Marko to ensure that you were dilated 10 centimeters. This was not just for the babies sake but also for your own. If you pushed too soon it could prove fatal for you and your child. There was an instinct in you that told you to push, though Marko insisted adamantly that you hold off on pushing for the meantime. Stress riddled Marko to the core as he knelt down in front of you on the bed, his fingers comfortingly stroking your inner thighs prior to pulling back and nearing your entrance. To begin with he slipped in a finger, pushing softly as the books had told him until he reached the surface of the cervix which if he hadn't been reading the books that Dwayne had given him, he would have thought it didn't exist. Instead, he was met with a rubbery balloon-like texture which he knew was the bag of waters that held your baby. He slowly retracted his finger and added a few more, until he was certain that you were way past the 5cm mark. "Ow! B-babe! Tbh-that hurts!" You complained loudly, back arching off the mattress as you flinched, brows knitted together in contorted pain.

"Really?" Marko snapped, eyes meeting yours whilst his fingers froze within you. "You've had much worse in there and a few fingers hurt? Sheesh!" He stated slowly, his expression flattening momentarily. And suddenly, as if by magic, the tension that had been suffocating the pair of you lifted somewhat, causing the pair of you to chortle for a moment before you winced, a grimace clouding your expression.

"Shut up you complete asshole, h-how about I sh-shove a watermelon up you butt, s-s-see how you like it,” you breathlessly laugh, leaning your head back against your pillow. “So, c-can I p-push now, or not?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty certain that you're 10 centimeters now, babe."

Some form of twisted relief washed over your soul in that moment as you let the instinct to push was over you. There was a slow, long drag pulling through your back. It was like a tiger had dug it’s hooked claws into you and was pulling them down through your flesh. The endeavor was tiring, grueling in fact, leaving you dizzy and exhausted. But yet there was a set determination that took over you whilst you pushed desperately. Your toes tightly curled in place, grunts and panting replaced by blood curdling screams that sent chills down any who heard it. Tears made it impossible to see, the salty concoction of tears and sweat staining your face. Everything burned, you were fearful you may pass out. Though as soon as you pushed you found yourself holding your breath, to which Marko had to coach you through how to breathe. A deep breathe in and another deep breathe out. In through the nose out through the mouth. Well, more like, in through the mouth and back out again. He also had to remind you when to rest,especially when he took note of exhaustion blanketing across you.

“Marko- I can’t! No, no! Fuck I can’t it hurts so fucking bad,” you cried out until your throat was raw, having to be snatched by him before you launched up, pinned precisely in place by his steel grip. “No, god, I can’t do this! Please, I-I can’t I can’t it h-hurts!”

"Come on, baby girl you can’t stop now! You have to hold still, it’s gonna be okay, you've got this." Marko encouraged ceaselessly, offering his pale hand to you to hold. Using his other he cemented you in place, knowing one wrong move could kill the baby. Your strength caught him by surprise when you snatched his hand tightly, grateful he couldn’t feel the crushing grasp of your fingers as his dead bones began to crack. Fortunately for him, years of rigor mortis and rot had decayed most of his nervous system by now. He held your head back on his chest, continuing to coax you with tender words. “Almost there baby, almost I know it hurts, I know, I’m so sorry baby." He whispered softly into your ear, his cool breath fanning across your hot flushed skin. You swallowed thickly, almost as though you were in a trance as you continued your strained pushes. A pinkish liquid spilled out and onto the sheets in a cruel, seeping motion. Marko noted it’s scent carried a heavy copper tone and glanced down as the pale salmon tint deepened into a dark crimson hue. Your screams had nearly numbed his ears by now, although it was not a sound he desired to grow accustomed to.

Marko softly unwound his arms around you, though he kept his left hand in your ironclad grip. He needed to ensure that blood was the baby’s head crowning and not some horrendous miscarriage. He wouldn’t dare mention the alternative to his mate mid-birth, pushing away the blankets covering your legs and to his amazement there was your baby's head crowning momentarily before slipping back inside. From what he'd read, this was a completely normal process, your pushing, in conjunction with your contractions would continue to shift the baby down the birthing canal and out of you. Your heels dug into the mattress with your back arching upward as your mouth was aghast in treacherous suffering, a hideous cry drawing tears from your eyes. The room began to sway, the pace of your heart was that of wild horses unleashed on an open plain. Heat grasped you from every angle, it was getting harder to breathe the more you fought through it. Fear grabbed hold of your lungs, squeezing violently, picking up your heart rate until Marko could hear it thundering beneath your rib cage like a frightened animal wanting to be let loose of its cage. Your rapid labored breaths carried a concerning pace that had him beside you once again.

“Marko.. T-the room..,” you tried to whimper out between screams, head swaying to the side staring at the pitch black curtains that somehow seemed to be seeping into your surroundings. You could feel the drag pulling down your back into your birth canal, you were so close but the sheer exhaustion tempted you to faint at any moment. “I..I can’t..” you gasped out under your breath so quiet he almost thought he'd imagined the words.

"Just one more push, babe," Marko pleaded, brushing his hand over your damp forehead. In a sweet, yet ardent motion your hair was pushed back from your face. You clung to his hand, pressing your forehead against his frigid palm savoring the relieving rush of cold. The sight of his wide eyes connecting with yours forced a momentary breath of air, those perfect blue pools gave you something to focus on. The blackness was scattered, a last scream forcing it's way out of your throat as you gave one final push, the dragging motion within you halting. Light faded in and out of your vision, rapid black splotches flickering around the room, the pain becoming dull and pulsating. You hardly even noticed the muffled, shrill cries emitting from your newborn, or the fact that Marko had already had her wrapped in a towel once he'd cut the umbilical cord. Your chest shuddered when you breathed, the small pink infant squirming beneath white fabric making whimpering grunts. Small fingers stretched out, clutching at Marko’s shirt.

“Marko.. Wh-what are they,” you groaned our, flickering lashes barely keeping you conscious.

Marko hesitated to glance between misted eyes, choking out a stunned laugh. “A girl…”

The blood stained her red skin, and before he could wipe away the sticky red substance off her fingers she suckled at the red liquid, eyes bright white just as his were when his fangs were bared. She had yet to form her own, and when there was none left on her hand they had faded back into little grey, uncolored orbs. The lack of food had become noticable, and she let out a fussy whine, kicking her feet against the blanket in a fit. So that's what she needed to feed on. Marko gently bounced her in his arms, nuzzling his forehead against hers until her tantrum was subdued. “Shhh shhh, it’s okay baby girl.. Plenty of time for that later... Daddy will bring you a big ol bag of blood when mommy feels better, I promise.”

You blinked away tears as she was delicately passed into your arms, weighing no more than eight or nine pounds just as weary as you were. “Wilhelmina...,” you choked out, brushing your fingers across her plump cheek.

“Billie huh?” Marko asked, laying on his side beside you with his bent arm elevating his head, his fingers reached out to brush against the blonde dusting of hair on the head of his daughter, a grin plastered on his face, an exhausted twinkle dancing in his eyes. "I like that... Wilhelmina it is.."

He now felt like finally, in these eight months of your pregnancy, that he could catch some shut eye. Time had become distorted, he had no idea whether it was daytime or night time any more, the two may as well have been blurred together. In your safe haven of thick black flowing curtains, Marko placed Billie delicately into your heavy arms, slumber already having wrapped you tightly in its deep and vast embrace. He curled his fingers around the dark fabric, pulling it skeptically out of the way. The room was swallowed in darkness, however, his nocturnal eyes easily scoped out the shut door at the other end of the room. He thought for a minute, capturing his bottom lip in between his teeth. He chewed on it for a moment before pulling himself up and off the bed. Truthfully now that his territorial rage had fizzled out he knew he owed the guys for how much of an ass he'd been when confronted with your unexpected labor.

With tentative steps, so as not to disturb you, Marko flitted towards the shut door, no light seeping underneath the crack of the door. He twisted the knob carefully, a low squeak creeping into the air as he opened the door. He stepped out into the passageway leading to the main cave and began a somewhat hurried stroll. Honestly he was ecstatic to tell the boys. To show them his daughter was something he was practically bouncing on the spot for he couldn't wait!

Marko, briefly unaware with his contemplation cluttering his mind, did not fully register the danger as he stepped forward into a stream of sunlight just up ahead cutting clearly through the decrepit roof of the hotel. It wasn't until the searing sizzle of his flesh did he register that he was caught aflame from the sun's rays. With a shriek he recoiled, battering at exposed flesh to kill the flames. He smoldered for a moment, back pressed to the wall as he peered into the vacant lobby of the ancient hotel. He sighed, shaking his head in dismay. "Dammit! Well... I guess they'll just have to meet Billie tonight then," he concluded with finality, not giving it much thought before he turned and made his way back to your room with heavy eyelids, finally content. As he padded softly into the room, shutting the door behind him, Marko couldn't help but feel relief wash over him. It was an enormous weight lifted from his shoulders now that he'd be able to go out to feed without fearing something could happen to you. That was more than enough to cure him of any and all anxiety that had previously immobilized him.

As he settled himself underneath the covers, he brought you closer, baby Billie placed tenderly between you both and he grinned half halfheartedly, a dopey, wide grin that pulled on his heavy eyelids. "I'm kinda glad you jinxed it, babe." he breathed into the air before he allowed the weight of sleep to shut his eyes and encapsulate him in its lulling motion.

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nevertherose · 3 years

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One Hundred Seconds to Midnight: Chapters 1-8

"All Roman wanted to do was take Logan on a Doctor Who LARP within the Imagination.

But with Thomas's Sides at their figurative breaking point after the disastrous wedding, the Imagination may just have a few ideas of her own..."

Hello, Tumblr fanders, it has been a while since I've poked around in here...mostly because, I've been writing another story!

Do you like Sanders Sides? Do you like Doctor Who? Do you like the idea of the Sides playing Doctor Who characters? If so, this story was written especially for you.

I found that the process of cross-posting Mahogany and Teakwood across three platforms, one chapter at a time, involved a lot of me spending too many hours squinting at html code. Not especially fun. This time around, I've only been posting on AO3 and Wattpad.

But I wanted it to exist here as well.

So! Today I'm going to post the first half (in two posts, because apparently Tumblr has a post size limit, who knew?), all the chapters that are up so far. Then, when the whole story is up on the other platforms, I'll post the other half.

Of course, you could head to either AO3 or Wattpad, if you want to read as the chapters go up.

But if you're like me, and like to read stories in nice, big, juicy chunks...here you go:

One Hundred Seconds to Midnight

Chapter 1- The Eleventh Hour

“Who are you?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m still cooking.”

Midnight.

The witching hour.

Or was that 3AM? Roman wondered. No, that’s the devil’s hour…damn it, Virgil! You had to get them all mixed up!

It was nearly midnight on the Imagination’s border.

Moonlight, pearlescent and brighter than it could ever shine in the real world, streamed feather-light through the tall windows on Roman’s side of the Dream Palace. It made patterns of light and shadow over the black marble floors, made nighttime caricatures of the white ivory statues that lined the corridor.

Roman’s heeled boots echoed in the silence; Logan’s dress shoes, in comparison, were whisper-quiet.

Logan himself had been uncharacteristically quiet since they entered this place, Roman noted, glancing back. Normally by now the logical Side would have asked a million questions, made a million plans, or be several bullet points into a lecture about palace construction or the history of measurement units or some other nerdy, obscure subject.

And Roman would either pretend to be annoyed, or would interject witty counterpoints to make Logan stop and bluster and…

But not tonight.

Maybe he’s nervous about being here, Roman told himself, smoothing a hand over his red sash. He’s only pointed out a million times that Logic and the Imagination are anathema to one another. Maybe I should have planned something else…

Or maybe he’s just annoyed at you for dragging him out of bed in the literal middle of the night, a more insidious inner voice whispered. When you know he likes to keep a consistent sleep schedule.

Roman pressed his lips together, lifted his chin…he might be a mere facet of a single personality, but he was also a Prince, and Princes do not listen to inner demons. However, he also looked back for the dozenth time to make sure Logan was actually still following.

That was the only reason Roman kept looking back.

It had nothing to do with the way the translucent moonlight caught the other Side’s dark, immaculately kept hair, or glinted off his glasses.

In the real world, of course, and whenever they manifested near their Source, the Sides all had precisely the same face and body as Thomas. But deep inside the mind, where physical appearance was an illusion anyway, the Sides exercised much more control.

Thomas remained their base template, but each Side also tended to portray himself with features that Thomas associated with their core function. Like Patton’s fluffy curls and childlike freckles, or Virgil’s anxious, ever-changing eyeshadow, or Remus’s abominable comic-book villain mustache.

Like Deceit’s…no, Janus’s very real scales.

Damn that snake. Why did I have think of him now?

Hopefully the lying bananaconda had better things to do than pop up and spoil things tonight. Because tonight, Roman was finally fulfilling a longtime promise to Logan, and taking him on a grand adventure.

The thought made his heart flutter in anticipation, and he looked back again.

Logan within the mindscape was leaner than Thomas, an inch or two taller, and his neatly trimmed hair and intelligent eyes were almost black in the low light. His face was narrow and intense, the nose more aquiline, and he had a habit of standing straighter than any of the rest of them.

(A habit which constantly showed off his trim waist and chest muscles…not that Roman paid any attention to that…)

Roman, by contrast, was a bit shorter, but his shoulders were broad and he was more muscular, due to all the questing and sword fighting he did here in the Imagination. He wore his hair in longish disarray that paired devastatingly with his clean, square jawline; hair that could be turned loose and wild on quests, or pulled neatly back as befitted royalty. His hands were strong; with long, artistic fingers, as skilled at wielding pens and paintbrushes as they were at wielding swords.

He liked to think he was handsome.

He was also painfully aware of how little it mattered when a certain someone…ehem…never seemed to notice.

“Roman, I confess to still being a bit lost as to the purpose of this journey,” Logan said at last, breaking the high-ceilinged silence. “You said you were taking us on a…’lark’? If so, why are we wandering around the Dream Palace?”

“LARP,” Roman corrected, flashing him a smile. “L-A-R-P. It stands for live action role play, Specs.”

Logan’s nose wrinkled at the words “role play”, and Roman’s stomach lurched. He hates it, he hates the very idea of it, you haven’t even started yet and you’ve already failed…

“Oh, don’t make the scrunchy face!” he added, a bit louder than necessary, and waved a hand. “At least wait until you’ve seen it.”

Roman had only been planning this for weeks.

“You know, when you promised to take me on one of your ‘adventures’,” Logan said, making finger quotes. “I was not expecting to be roused from bed in the middle of the night.”

“That’s because this isn’t your average adventure.” Roman gestured around them. “I constructed a special dreamscape to get all the details right, and we can only use the Dream Palace when Thomas is asleep.” He turned and dared a wink. “Only the best for you, my detail-oriented friend.”

Logan adjusted his glasses.

“Let it be known that I am indulging your antics right now because you have, on occasion, had some good ideas. You will, in turn, have to indulge my skepticism.”

“I have no idea what you just said, but I’m gonna pretend it was a compliment,” Roman said with a wink, which Logan rolled his eyes at.

“Ah ha, here we are!”

Roman stopped at a set of iconic blue doors, nearly vibrating in excitement as he waited for Logan to recognize them.

The nerd did not disappoint.

“Roman…” Logan murmured, stepping forward to touch the white PULL TO OPEN sign. “They look just like the doors to the TARDIS. The attention to detail is exquisite. But why?”

“Because I’m taking you on a Doctor Who LARP!” Roman exclaimed, flapping his hands. “All we have to do is step through, and the Imagination will make us Doctor and companion, and whisk us away through all of time and space!”

Logan’s face was a mixture of confusion and curiosity. “Again…why?”

“Because it will be fun?” Roman bit his lip, looking at his toes. “I…I know you aren’t into swords and sorcery and dragon-witches and whatnot. I wanted this to be something you might actually enjoy.”

Logan’s brow furrowed, as it often did when he tried to process something that didn’t fit neatly into his graphed, notated, logical worldview.

Usually, it was an emotion.

“But won’t us enacting such an intense scenario at this time of night negatively affect Thomas’s sleep?” Logan asked.

“That’s the genius of adventuring in the Dream Palace,” Roman explained. “You can do hyperreal, immersive stuff, and if Thomas does happen to remember anything, he’ll just think he had a weird dream. The worst that could happen is he might post about it on Twitter.”

“Hmm. I can see you’ve thought this through. I am…flattered that you went to all the trouble,” Logan said in a quiet voice.

Roman had to bite back an ecstatic giggle.

Not…not because of the way his nerves skittered below his skin when his gaze caught Logan’s black eyes and soft expression. No, Roman was merely…excited! That someone like Logan appreciated his hard work!

It wasn’t like he was trying to impress anyone, like some middle school boy with, you know, a crush or whatever. For the last, well…two years.

…and then some.

Ugh. There was little point in denying his feelings; he’d only accidentally summon Janus and his oily smirk, and if that happened, Roman would most certainly die of embarrassment and that was not a lie, thank you very much.

The truth was, ever since Thomas had placed that jar of Crofters into Logan’s hands and inspired him to sing…not just rap, or begrudgingly harmonize, but actually sing…Roman had fallen, and fallen hard.

How could he not?

Logan’s words and ideas had always challenged him, pushed him to be smarter, sharper, better, just to keep up. Logan was the grounding anchor to his sails, the clarity to his excess. It used to infuriate Roman, the way he and Logan always came at problems from opposite sides and fought, sometimes bitterly, over the best way to meet in the middle.

But now?

Now Roman relished the way they traded words in a good fight, like blades in the hands of expert swordsmen. Logan, despite his dislike for anything fanciful, was a natural wordsmith…and Roman was a great lover of poetry. Even better, it seemed like Logan was also starting to enjoy their verbal sparring matches…

And then these last few months had happened.

The Decision, and Deceit, and the way that snake had let Remus out of the shadows to wreck havoc, and then the disastrous wedding itself…and Roman knew that Logan, through all of it, had been feeling pushed aside.

Goodness knew the logical Side hadn’t deserved to be shoved to the back of a courtroom, or relegated to a pixel-y shadow of himself before being removed from the discussion entirely. Worse, in both of those scenarios, Roman had either done nothing…or actively made things worse.

Roman knew he was guilty of letting his mouth run wild in his zeal to solve Thomas’s dilemmas…or in desperately hiding his true feelings. He knew his nicknames often came with barbs, his insults sometimes hit too close to home, that he often ignored or dismissed Logan’s cool, much-needed perspective.

He knew he needed to be better.

I’ll make it up to him tonight, Roman told himself as he laid a hand on the rough wooden blue doors and glanced back at Logan. The logical Side nodded, giving Roman a tiny burst of confidence.

He’ll get to play his favorite character and be his best nerdy self. This is going to be great!

Roman took a breath, and shoved open the TARDIS doors.

Chapter 2- Human Nature

“It’s all becoming clear now. The Doctor is doing the things you’d like to be doing.”

The blaring of a dozen sirens burst in Logan’s ears.

He was yanked across the threshold, Roman’s hand practically a vice around his wrist. Logan inhaled the sharp scent of metal and warm electronics, and a million figurative lights went off in his brain.

Being the physical incarnation of Logic, this wasn’t an entirely unfamiliar sensation.

The TARDIS shuddered…wait, TARDIS? We’re actually on the TARDIS?…under impact. Lights flashed; reds and greens over an ambiance of steely blue-gray, and Logan knew exactly what to do.

He shook free of Roman’s grip and strode to the center console…console, how do I know this is a console?…flipping several switches and turning the green dial to precisely 3.56 degrees to offset the radiation sheer from the M-class star they’d just spun past.

Because naturally they happened to be careening through an asteroid field.

The time rotor rose and dipped, Gallifreyan symbols whirling overhead; Logan adjusted shields and dodged rocks, striding confidently from station to station. He guided his TARDIS around the last large asteroid, one that easily could have smashed his beloved ship to bits, and then they were clear.

The TARDIS chimed reassuringly under his hands, relieved to be in empty space again.

Roman screamed.

The sound echoed off the metallic walls, causing Logan to whip around and nearly lose his balance.

“What happened?” he said sharply, leaving the console. The creative Side stood near the railing, staring down at himself in obvious dismay. “What’s wrong?”

“Look at me, Logan!” Roman said shrilly and gesturing at his body. “Just look!”

Logan examined his fellow Side. There were no obvious injuries he could see, no blood, no bruising, nothing that would merit a scream. There was just Roman, unfairly handsome as always.

(He still wasn’t sure how Roman managed that feat when they all literally, at least some of the time, had the same face.)

“I…don’t see a problem?” Logan asked slowly.

“I meant, look at what I’m wearing, Calculator Watch,” Roman snarled, and turned to yell nonsensically at the ceiling. “Am I a joke to you? When I said I wanted to be a companion, this is not what I meant!”

Logan focused on Roman’s clothing, which had shifted rather drastically since passing through those doors. His normal princely attire was replaced by a denim cutoff skirt, overalls, pink leggings, and a tight pink blouse that clung to his muscular chest and arms...

“I look ridiculous, don’t I?” Roman murmured, scuffing a combat boot against the metal grated floor. The motion drew Logan’s gaze again to the way the cutoffs hugged his hips and wow, that skirt was really short, wasn’t it?

And those tights, the way they accentuated Roman’s legs...

Logan frowned, his face feeling unusually warm. Why did he keep noticing these things? Of course Roman was more fit than the rest of them.

Perhaps it was simply that Logan didn’t usually see the evidence of it so…plainly.

Stop, Logan told himself sharply. You might be gay and allosexual, but that is no excuse to be disrespectful.

He cleared his throat.

“If I may, Roman?” he said, approaching, and made a closer examination of Roman’s outfit.

“I gather from your earlier ranting that you instructed the Imagination to cast you as one of the Doctor’s companions for the duration of this scenario?”

“Well, yeah,” Roman admitted, “but I was thinking someone like Jamie McCrimmon, or Rory Williams, or maybe even Jack Harkness!”

“You know there is some debate over whether Jack Harkness would be considered a proper ‘companion’, as he was never full time on the TARDIS,” Logan argued absently, still eying Roman’s ensemble.

It was attractive but also familiar; he just couldn’t quite place it…

“Neither was Clara Oswald at first, but nobody had a problem handing her that label from the start!” Roman folded his arms and Logan had to look away because wow, short sleeves and arms…

“Just because she was a girl and the writers obviously intended for her to be a love interest—”

“A girl, of course!” Logan snapped his fingers. “Roman, you are a companion. Specifically, you are Rose Tyler.”

“What?” Roman frowned, smoothing the overalls across his middle. “I…Hmm. You might actually be right.”

“Of course I am right.”

The creative Side scoffed at that, but continued to frown.

“I think it’s a good choice,” Logan added. “Rose is arguably one of the most beloved companions in new Who; bold, kind, and intelligent in her own way. She was pivotal to the Ninth, Tenth, and arguably the War Doctor’s character arcs.”

He laid a hand on Roman’s shoulder. (To convey reassurance, of course. Not because he suddenly wanted to touch…)

“Hers are not the worst shoes you could be given to fill,” Logan said, “idiomatically speaking.”

“Only you would drop a word like ‘idiomatically’ in everyday conversation,” Roman grumbled, but some of the spark returned to his caramel eyes.

“But look at you!” Roman said in a brighter voice, gesturing. “All proper and Doctor-ish. At least the Imagination let you keep your tie, or, whatever that thing is around your neck.”

Logan glanced down at himself for the first time.

His sensible polo and jeans had become a clean-cut black suit, with a warm grey waistcoat, a crisp white undershirt, and a silver pocket watch. A navy cravat was knotted around his throat.

His knee-length suit jacket was also black, with a striking cerulean lining.

He retrieved a slender, metallic something from the jacket’s inner pocket: of course, the Doctor’s signature sonic screwdriver. Specifically, the Tenth Doctor’s screwdriver.

Logan chuckled, remembering all the times he’d ranted to Roman about how impractical and flashy Eleven’s screwdriver became, and don’t even get him started on Twelve’s, it was practically a lightsaber…

“Interesting,” he murmured, stretching his arms to turn in a slow circle, letting the jacket flare. “Fashionably, I appear to be a cross between the Eighth and Twelfth Doctors, which I appreciate, as they are the two most sensible dressers of the bunch. And by the way, Roman, this is a called a cravat, not a tie…”

He’d lifted hands to his neck but the words died on his tongue.

Roman had summoned a mirror and was, quite literally, checking himself out. He swayed his hips, tilted one toward and then away from the mirror, pouted, did a tongue smile, and…and Logan realized he had been watching for more than a socially acceptable length of time.

He swallowed hard and cleared his throat again. But he was saved from having to speak by a loud crackling at the center console.

Both Sides rushed over, Logan seizing the TV screen and pulling it down. Gray static skittered over the polished surface. He flipped two switches and turned a dial, trying to zero in on the signal.

“I meant to ask earlier…how do you know what to do?” Roman asked, tilting his head. “You were piloting before I think you even realized we were on a TARDIS in the first place.”

Logan froze in the middle of winding one of the cranks.

“I…I really do not know.” In fact, the more he thought about it, the less sense any of the controls made. “Now that you’ve drawn my attention to it, you are correct: rationally, I should not know the function of any of these…gizmos.” He gestured at the crank he’d been winding.

“Yet somehow my hands just…know.”

Roman leaned casually onto the console.

“When I built this LARP, I gave the Imagination quite a bit of leeway in how it wanted to construct our characters,” he said. “I’m thinking it took things a step further than costume changes, like making me the companion it thinks I most resemble instead of the companion I wanted to be.”

Roman bit his lip as though troubled, then clearly shook himself out of it.

“And it must have imparted some of the Doctor’s knowledge upon me.” Logan added, not sure how he felt about the Imagination having such a direct influence over his mind. He supposed if it didn’t get too invasive, and was confined to this one night, he could deal with it.

It had proven useful so far, after all.

Roman shot Logan a fierce grin.

“Indeed! So engage that big Doctor brain and let’s see who’s trying to call us. Allons-y, adventure awaits!”

“You know ‘allons-y’ is my line, right?” Logan said dryly.

He had to use his screwdriver on the screen before the picture came clear. The stream of static acquired the cadence of a voice…and then a disturbingly familiar face stared back at his own, looking equally shocked.

Roman, for the second time since entering the TARDIS, let out a bloodcurdling scream.

Chapter 3- The Witch’s Familiar

“If you’re going to take my stick, do me the courtesy of actually killing me. Teamwork is all about respect.”

Janus had just settled into his favorite chair with a mug of chamomile tea and a political science book when he was yanked…rather rudely, he might add…onto the deck of a spaceship.

He sighed, and dismissed his drink.

When one lived in the same mindspace as the literal embodiment of chaos, one unfortunately learned to expect such interruptions.

“REMUS!” he roared, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Did I not specifically ask to be LEFT ALONE tonight?”

Silence.

Deeply annoyed now, Janus took a moment to look around himself. This was not a normal spaceship; no windows, for one, and it was laid out in levels around a translucent column at the very center. His mismatched eyes followed the center rotor up and down, his mind almost placing it…

Something clumsily rose up from the deck with a clatter, causing Janus to summon his crook with a yell.

Only…the object that dropped into his hand wasn’t smooth wood, but a slender metal instrument just barely longer than his hand. A…sonic screwdriver? What the actual heck?

Well. It was what he had.

“Get back!” He pointed the instrument at the…figure…who still slowly climbed to its feet. It was an android or robot of some sort; humanoid, and the same kind of weirdly familiar as the ship.

“Janus?” the robot said, tilting its head.

Janus froze, all the scales standing up on his body. That was…that was Patton’s voice. Flat, mechanical, but unmistakable.

After all, Patton was the only Side who consistently called Janus by name.

“Patton?” Janus whispered.

“Oh, that was so weird-feeling! Thank goodness I’m not all by myself,” Robot-Patton said, putting a hand over his…well, where his heart should have been…in obvious relief. “But why are we both suddenly on the TARDIS?”

Janus drew in a sharp breath.

Of course, he should have recognized the stupid time rotor immediately. He’d never admit it to any of them, but he was as much of a Doctor Who nerd as Logan or Roman, sometimes going so far as to spy on them when they argued over episodes together.

To learn their arguing styles, of course.

Not because he had any desire to join those discussions.

And now, looking at Patton with a sinking feeling in his stomach, Janus deduced exactly what he was: a Mondasian Cyberman. They were older and cruder in design than the reboot versions…no wonder he hadn’t put a finger on it right away.

That wasn’t really the issue.

“REMUS!” Janus shouted again, more angrily this time. Bad enough his pleasant evening of solitude had been interrupted by…whatever this was. But putting the sweetest, most emotional Side into a canonically unemotional shell, a robot?

That was cruel. That was insulting.

It was too far, even for Remus.

“Janus, is everything okay?” Patton asked, coming closer. Janus shivered at the sound of that warm voice coming from a blank metallic face with empty eyes.

“Do you…feel all right?” Janus said in a hesitant voice.

“I’m a little chilly, but otherwise I’m in ship shape!” the other quipped, giggling. “Get it? Cause we’re on a ship?”

Is it…is it possible that he doesn’t know?

“Hilarious,” Janus deadpanned, but inside his thoughts spun.

He sensed they were in a dream construct within the Imagination, which meant this had to be Remus’s doing. Remus, who reveled in gore, despair, disturbing imagery, angst, and who was in charge of Thomas’s nightmares.

Remus could…and would, given the chance…recreate the experience of being a Cyberman down to the Last. Grim. Detail.

Maybe he hadn’t meant to ensnare Patton specifically to fill this role…Remus didn’t generally pull other Sides in for nightmares, come to think of it…but meanwhile, Janus didn’t want to find out what this might do to Patton’s head.

Worse, it was becoming clear that Patton was somehow oblivious to the state of his own body; he’d used his metallic hands to clutch at his metallic chest and found nothing wrong with either. He couldn’t hear the electronic rasp in his own voice, or the heavy clanging of his steps on the grated floor.

Should Janus say something?

Would Patton believe him if he did?

Ever since Thomas’s near mental breakdown after the disastrous wedding, Patton and Janus had orbited around each other in a state of tenuous truce. They talked now, sometimes, and those talks didn’t always end in arguments. Patton began to leave space for him by Thomas’s blinds when he was called up, and he…and by extension Thomas…occasionally actually sought his input.

But Janus, well.

Janus was still a liar.

The others still called him Deceit, either by accident (Logan) or out of spite (Virgil). Then there was Roman, who invented a colorful, wounding ego-jab for him every day, and Remus, whose fond nicknames tended to double as sex jokes.

Having no other real allies in the mindscape, Janus really, really didn’t want to screw up his tenuous alliance with Patton. Why sabotage his figurative “seat at the table” over one of Remus’s stupid nightmares?

Patton would assume Janus was slipping back into his old ways, lying just because he could, and Janus would never be able to prove otherwise. And later Patton would make that sour, pinched face he always made when he was disappointed, the one that made Janus want to crawl into a hole…

So.

Best to keep his observations close to the chest, for now.

“Do you have any idea what we’re doing here?” Janus asked, striding to the center console. True to dream logic, the controls made no sense and simultaneously made perfect sense.

Patton shrugged; a strange, clanky motion of his shoulders.

Janus sighed. “Although Remus has dragged me into dreams before, even he generally understands the concept of consent.” He casually flapped a hand. “And he always leaves you ‘light sides’ alone.”

“Honestly, this doesn’t feel like a nightmare to me,” Patton said, nearly making Janus choke. The Cyberman clanked over to stand by the console.

“It’s too clean,” Patton added. “Roman let me glimpse Remus’s side of the Imagination once, not long after he showed himself to Thomas, and it was…”

Patton trailed off.

“Fragmented? Chaotic? Disturbing?” Janus supplied.

“Sure, we’ll go with that,” Patton said quietly. “This,” he waved a hand around, “feels more like Roman’s work.”

“I suppose you would know.” Janus ran a thoughtful thumb over his face, tracing the ridge that ran from the corner of his mouth to his ear.

“And I would almost have to agree,” he added slowly. “If this was a nightmare, surely something ghastly would have happened by now. But my being pulled into one of Roman’s creations makes even less sense. He literally cannot stand me.”

“Maybe this is one of those dreams Thomas has sometimes after binge watching a show?” Patton suggested. “When there’s enough material in short term memory that the twins don’t get much input? Did Thomas binge a season of Doctor Who yesterday or something?”

And to think the others still view you as stupid, or slow-witted.

Janus bit back a smile.

“It’s a good theory, Patton, but no,” he said. “Thomas hasn’t really binged on much of anything lately.”

Patton ducked his head.

“You don’t…you don’t have to rub it in, you know,” he said lowly, the metallic rasp grating on Janus’s ears. “You and Logan have both made it pretty clear that I’ve been too strict with Thomas’s time.”

Janus fought to keep his expression neutral, but his stomach twisted.

Damn it.

Leave it to Patton to find guilt where none was meant. Even if Janus claimed he hadn’t meant it like that, Patton would probably not believe him.

Patton tilted his metal head as he examined Janus’s face.

“Did you know you have a mustache now? And a little goatee?”

“I have a what?” Janus felt at his face and groaned, his gloved fingers tugging at hair that most certainly did not belong on his face; with the scales, it probably looked hideous.

His entire outfit had altered in subtle ways, he realized. His usual plum tunic and trousers were now a brown suit and waistcoat ensemble, crossed with yellow pinstripes, with a black collared undershirt. A brown, knee-length suit jacket replaced his caplet, with subtle gold trimming. His yellow gloves were unchanged, thank goodness, and his hat…?

His hands flew up to his head and found something perched over his hair, sitting at an angle. Janus yanked down a screen at the console and stared. His beloved bowler had shrunk into a tiny, flat, rakish thing with a wide brim, festooned with a cluster of yellow rosebuds and black beads.

“What on earth, Remus?” he grumbled, turning his head from side to side. Well, if he had to be honest, pinstripes and a hatinator weren’t a terrible look.

“Well, if we’re on a TARDIS, I guess you’re supposed to be the Doctor,” Patton pointed out. “Which would make me your companion.”

Janus stroked his goatee and examined their surroundings in more detail. But am I a Doctor? he wondered. And if so, which one?

And whose TARDIS is this?

Because while it was clear they were on a TARDIS…what other class of spaceship had a time rotor?…he wasn’t almost certain this was not the TARDIS.

Every corner of the Doctor’s ship, no matter which face it belonged to, tended to overflow with bright, shiny, eclectic whimsy. By contrast, this one was plain, stark, with exposed metal beams and sharp angles.

Too dark, too full of shadows.

An awful suspicion rose up in his mind.

He crossed to one of the bookshelves, ignoring Patton’s soft inquiry, and his jaw clenched. There was the Necronomicon, shelved between the Liber Inducens in Evangelium Aeternum and The Black Scrolls of Rassilon, Book of Vile and its Black Appendix, The Ambuehl Lores and the Insidium of Astrolabus.

Janus finally looked at the sonic device he’d been holding all this time; seeing now that it wasn’t a screwdriver at all, and thanked every god he knew that he hadn’t tried to use it on Patton earlier.

It was a sonic laser.

Once again, even in a stupid, nonsensical dream, Janus had been cast as the villain.

His fist had collided with the bookshelf before he even realized he was moving, books falling to the floor. He punched it again, and again, until a cool rigid hand closed around his wrist and yanked him back.

“Janus, Janus, stop!” Patton yelled in his ear.

Janus wrenched his arm away and stalked back to the console, running gloved fingers over his scales, pushing them up and smoothing them down. The familiar sensation grounded him.

“You were right, Patton,” he threw over his shoulder. “This is definitely one of Roman’s dreams, and he definitely fucking hates me.”

Patton’s heavy footsteps clattered behind him.

“Language. And how do you know that,” he asked. “…Doctor?”

Janus whirled, lips curled in a snarl.

“I am not the Doctor, Patton, and we are not on the TARDIS.” He spread his arms to encompass them both, gesturing to the dimly lit spaceship. “Look around. Look at me!”

He turned, slowly, and eyed his mustached visage in the dark view screen.

“Clearly, I am the Master.”

Chapter 4- Nightmare in Silver

“You think he knows what he’s doing?”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far.”

Patton rested his arms against the console and sighed.

Once again, someone I care about is upset, and I don’t know what to do. I guess I should be used to it by now.

It didn’t help that it was so cold in this TARDIS. He folded his arms around his middle, which felt strange and heavy, to combat the chill that seemed to have settled deep in his bones.

Janus stalked past again, grumbling to himself.

“Of course the Prince would pull me into one of his little ‘adventures’ without my consent. He probably needed an antagonist. And naturally the slippery snake would have been the first person to come to mind!”

Patton opened his mouth…though he had no idea what he was going to say…but Janus drowned him out.

“Come on, Roman!” he shouted, throwing his yellow-clad hands up. “You’ve had your fun. Yes, I’m evil, I’m the villain, I’m the bad guy, blah blah. Let’s have our epic confrontation or whatever nonsense you have planned, as I would very much like to get back to my reading sometime tonight.”

Silence.

Patton didn’t know what Janus was expecting.

“Look, maybe we should just play along for now?” Patton said aloud, wincing when Janus turned his murderous expression on him. The deceptive Side had such deep, cutting golden eyes, the human one so much darker than the other…cynical eyes that were, ironically, almost impossible to lie to.

They’d see straight through it.

“It takes a liar to know a liar.”

The glare quickly softened, though, which in Patton’s opinion said a lot about how far Janus had come.

“And how do you propossse we ‘play along’?” Janus said, hissing his s’s in frustration.

“Well, we’ve kinda decided this is Roman’s dream, right? And since we’re in his part of the Imagination, we know he won’t let anything bad happen to us…”

Patton trailed off at Janus’s pained expression, reminded of just how badly Janus and Roman’s last encounter had gone.

“What are you, a middle school librarian?”

“Thank god you don’t have a mustache.”

And I just stood there and did nothing…no, I can’t dwell on that right now. Patton shook himself out of the memory.

It was surprisingly easy; even his emotions felt a little heavy and muted. He supposed he wasn’t used to being in a dreamscape; unlike Roman, who played in them all the time.

I know Roman, Patton reasoned. He might hold a grudge for a while, but he wouldn’t actually be out to hurt Janus.

Right?

“So, if we’re on a time ship, on some kind of adventure leading up to a confrontation like you said, the first thing we’d have to do is figure out where we need to go,” Patton finished, shrugging.

Janus pursed his lips…which looked downright weird with a mustache and goatee, almost making Patton giggle…and began pushing buttons on the console.

“You are definitely incorrect, Patton,” he said, pulling up another screen and flipping a few switches. “If I have been cast as the villain in this ridiculous charade, that means Roman is likely prancing around as the Doctor right now, on the proper TARDIS. Which, as the Doctor’s nemesis, I should be able to contact…ha!”

The screen burst into static.

“Doctor, oh Doctor, do you read me?” Janus crooned, and if Patton hadn’t known just how angry he was in that moment…well, he would have never known.

Janus had tucked it away entirely, in half a second's time.

That’s the scary thing about him, Patton realized uneasily. He’s smart, nearly as smart as Logan. Smart enough to run circles around me, that’s for sure. And he’s easily as good an actor as Roman.

Those attributes, combined with his naturally manipulative nature, made it difficult to trust him.

Patton was trying.

He’d been trying since the wedding, and well, since everything else that had happened. (Patton still cringed when Thomas encountered even a picture of a frog.) He’d done a lot of thinking and growing that day (in more ways than one!), and he’d come to a disturbing, but inevitable conclusion.

Janus wasn’t evil.

He never had been.

Just like Virgil had never been evil. Mean, sure; and sarcastic, and spiteful…but at his core, Virgil had wanted what was best for Thomas.

They all did.

And then there was the uncomfortable corollary to that: Patton, despite his best efforts, despite his core Purpose…Patton wasn’t entirely and automatically good.

Two weeks ago, Janus had proven beyond a doubt that Thomas needed him…ruthlessly, cuttingly, but no one could say he hadn’t made his point. It had been Patton who’d inadvertently pushed Thomas to the brink of a breakdown, and Janus who had to pull them all back.

Despite Patton’s unease, and the little voice in his head telling him that Deceit couldn’t be trusted, could never truly be trusted because it was in his nature to deceive…Patton remembered how they’d pushed Virgil so hard he decided to duck out, and how much of a tragedy that could have been if they hadn’t all intervened to bring him back.

With a pang of guilt, he pictured Thomas lying on the floor, crushed under the metaphorical weight of everything Patton needed him to do to keep from being a bad person…

He would not make those mistakes again.

If Virgil could learn to work with them instead of against them, so could Janus. If Patton could learn to recognize when his own Purpose did more harm than good, so could Janus.

Patton had to believe that.

He’d made too many mistakes lately to believe otherwise.

The screen in Janus’s hands cleared to reveal…

“What? Logan??” Janus exclaimed, as a scream echoed somewhere in the background.

“D—Janus?” Logan countered, then looked over his shoulder. “Roman, for the love of Archimedes, will you stop shrieking? I cannot hear.”

The screaming cut off and Roman’s fuming face squished into the frame with Logan.

“Deceit! I should have known you would show up to ruin this!” he managed to shout before Logan shoved him away.

“Ruin…I’m sorry, what?” Janus glanced at Patton, looking honestly confused. “Is he roleplaying right now? We assumed this scenario was Roman’s creation.”

Onscreen, Logan placed his whole hand against Roman’s mouth to prevent him from interrupting.

“It is. But to my understanding, it was only supposed to involve myself and Roman, and…wait. You said ’we’.” Logan peered around. “Who else is with you?”

Patton started to wave, but his view was blocked by Janus bending close to the screen to whisper something. Suspicion flared in Patton’s stomach; old, familiar, but after the talk he’d just given himself, he purposefully pushed it down.

I won’t assume he’s being shifty unless he actually gives me a reason to.

Lifting his chin, he crept forward until he was next to Janus’s shoulder.

“Hey, Logan,” he said brightly, waving.

“Ah…hello, Patton,” Logan squeaked after a moment, his eyes still wide.

“Wait, Patton’s there? With the snake?” Roman’s voice yelled from the background, and then there was Roman’s face again.

“Patton?” Roman said, narrowing his eyes. “But why are you—?”

Both faces disappeared for a moment as Logan yanked Roman out of frame. Patton thought he heard a rapid, hushed conversation. He glanced at Janus, who only shrugged, looking at puzzled as Patton felt.

Roman’s face reappeared, solemn and deeply annoyed.

“Patton,” he said, and hesitated. “D—Janus. You two…well, you’re not supposed to be here.”

“Very reassuring,” Janus quipped.

“This was only supposed to be a two-person adventure: Doctor plus companion. I have no idea why the Imagination brought you both in as well; I certainly didn’t tell it to.”

“Aw, that’s okay, kiddo,” Patton started gently. “It’s not your fault—”

“Oh, sweetie.” Janus folded his arms. “I’m sorry, but that’s bull. Putting me in the Master’s shoes? Are we seriously going to pretend the Side who unashamedly hates me had nothing to do with that?”

“I didn’t!” Roman argued, his voice going high. “You really think I wanted you here, in any capacity?”

“Deceit…er, Janus, you are being unnecessarily antagonistic, and as such, unhelpful,” Logan cut in with his low, reassuring voice. “But Roman, it might behoove us to consider the role of subconscious influence. You may not have intended to pull the others in, and yet here they are.”

Roman looked at Logan, aghast, and Patton almost flinched at the raw hurt in his caramel eyes. The creative Side backed out of frame.

“So you’re on his side, too,” his voice said quietly. “Is that how it is?”

“I am not on anyone’s side,” Logan argued, raising his hands. “We are all currently in this situation together, and as such—”

Whatever he’d been about to say was cut off by another garbled transmission, taking over the screen and blocking out Logan’s face with crackly, purple static. A gray, snarling face flashed out of the haze, making Patton shriek in surprise and even Janus took a step back.

Then it was gone, dissolving back to static…and the sound of someone laughing filled the connection.

“Hellooooo, nurse,” a familiar sing-song voice crooned. “Did you miss me?”

Chapter 5- The Long Game

“You can’t just read the guide book, you’ve got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers. Or is that just me?”

Logan sighed.

He knew that voice; they all did. Even Thomas, unfortunately.

“Remus,” Roman hissed.

The mustached Side filled the screen, grinning madly. “Boo!”

“Get out of my scenario,” Roman said, his eyes flashing. “If you know what’s good for you.”

“Your scenario?” Remus echoed, faux-outrage in his expression. “Yours? The Dream Palace is my domain, too, brother, whether you like it or not.” He leaned closer, letting his nostrils and a single radioactive green eye fill the screen. “Did you really think you could keep me out?”

Roman made a sound of disgust deep in his throat.

“Am I to assume, then, that you are responsible for bringing in the other Sides?” Logan asked, careful to keep his voice even. Remus thrived on getting a rise out of people.

“Of course he is!” Roman snapped, throwing up his hands. “He loves to ruin things, especially my things.”

“Now why would having the others here ruin anything, brother?” Remus asked in a sickly sweet voice, propping his head on his hand. “Unless you intended for this nighttime romp between you and Logan to be private?”

Roman sputtered and glanced at Logan, red-faced, as Remus giggled.

“It was meant to be so, yes,” Logan supplied, unsure why Remus would find that funny…or why Roman would find it embarrassing.

“As amusing as this all is—” Janus’s crooning voice cut through the speaker.

“Great. You’re still here, snake?” Roman snarked, his arms folded around himself.

“We’re all listening, kiddo,” Patton’s metallic voice said.

Roman’s lips always curl into a pout when he is angry, Logan thought, eyeing him without turning his head, and he gets a little wrinkle between his eyebrows. Why…why am I noticing such things all of a sudden?

Maybe it was the stress, or the unfamiliar environment.

Or maybe it was the Rose Tyler outfit.

That skirt ought to be illegal.

Logan deliberately focused on the screen, his cheeks warm.

“So this is kinda new,” Patton went on, “all of us actually talking—”

“If Remus is responsible,” Janus cut in again, “then perhaps he would be so kind as to explain the objective of this late night group therapy session?”

Despite the biting sarcasm, Logan did appreciate Janus’s insistence that they get to the point, even if it did mean talking over Patton…

Speaking of, why would Remus have paired Patton with Janus?

Surely he should have grouped Patton with Logan and Roman, and put Virgil with Janus? Or…maybe not, given how Virgil hisses if Janus so much as enters the same room.

Ugh. Interpersonal drama. Logan was thoroughly sick of trying to keep track of who carried a grudge against whom, especially when it seemed to change from day to day.

And on top of that, why would Remus make Patton a Cyberman? None of these decisions make any sense…

“Right?” Roman agreed softly next to him, and Logan realized he’d said that last bit out loud.

“If anything, I should have been the unfeeling killer robot,” Logan murmured.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Specs.” Roman shot him a strange look, both warm and troubled. “And frankly I don’t give a stinky rat’s ass about my stinky rat brother’s sick thought process. What I want to know is why Deceit doesn’t want us to mention it around Patton?”

Logan, who was still mentally stuck on rodents and donkeys…Roman’s metaphors were always something else…shook his head slightly.

“There’s no logical way Patton is unaware of his condition,” Logan pointed out. “So I can only guess he wishes to protect Patton’s feelings on the matter, by not allowing us to talk about it in front of him.” He shrugged when Roman’s frown deepened. “Those two have been getting along much better these last few weeks.”

“I think you’re giving the snake too much credit,” Roman muttered. “Even after he impersonated you, Logan? C’mon. It has to be something else.”

Logan bit back a sigh.

He doesn’t understand, he thought guiltily. Because he doesn’t know what really happened…

“This is unacceptable, Deceit,” Logan snapped, flinging the crook away from his body. “I was in the middle of a discussion—”

“He won’t listen to you,” Deceit had said, and there was no sarcasm or snark in his voice.

“Patton asked for my opinion!”

“And he dismissed you from the conversation the moment that opinion went against his preconceived notions!” Deceit snapped back.

Silence.

Logan could hear the others still talking, out in the real world…without him…as the misty dregs of subconscious curled around their feet.

“You tricked him.” Logan folded his arms. “He was scared and off balance and you gave him an out.”

“I didn’t make him take it!”

Deceit sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Logan. You know he is wrong on this. You know what this is doing to Thomas. His unquestioning, black-and-white, juvenile morality; it’s not working anymore. Thomas needs to grow up, and Patton is not letting him.”

Logan bit his lip.

“Logan.” Deceit moved closer, dismissing his crook into mist and setting both gloved hands on Logan’s shoulders. Logan stiffened.

“Logic. Please. I am…no good at this.” Deceit dropped his head, his hat obscuring his eyes. “I operate through deceit because that is the only way I can make them acknowledge me.”

“They don’t acknowledge you because you operate through deceit,” Logan pointed out.

“A perfect catch 22.” Deceit let out a bitter laugh. “But a snake cannot change its scales and I don’t…I have tried everything I know. I cannot fix this from the shadows. I am out of ideas.”

A strange thought entered Logan’s mind.

“You care. You care what happens to Thomas.”

Deceit looked up, his mismatched eyes glittering with stinging intensity. “I am the literal representation of selfishness. Why the hell else would I go to all this trouble if I didn’t care?”

“Well…” Logan trailed off, troubled.

He’d let the others get to him, he realized in that moment. He’d let Roman get to him, with his talk of evil and Dark Sides and how they were always trying to tempt Thomas off the right path.

But…they were all part of Thomas, even the so-called “dark sides”.

Of course they wanted what was best for him…well, what Remus wanted at any given moment was debatable…even if they didn’t always go about it in the healthiest of ways.

Deceit had laughed then, high pitched and bitter.

“Really? Really? Even you think so low of me?”

“You are manipulating me right now.” Logan frowned. “You are using my concern for Thomas to make me trust you.”

“Yes! I am!” Deceit got in his face, fangs flashing. “I am a manipulative bastard because that is the lens through which my Source perceives me. But that doesn’t matter because you, Logic; you see through me, always have. And you know perfectly well that logically, any objection you have to my personality or my methods does not change the fact that I. Am. Right.”

He punctuated each word with a poke to Logan’s chest.

“Deceit—” Logan started.

“Janus.”

“What?”

Deceit sighed. “My name. My…real name. It’s Janus.”

Logan blinked. He knew the mythology, of course: Janus, keeper of doorways and thresholds, looking simultaneously to the past and future. Two faces. Seeing things from every angle.

Self-preservation.

“It suits you,” Logan said quietly.

Tension bled out of Janus’s shoulders, a stiffness Logan hadn’t even realized was there until it was gone.

“Thank you.”

“Why am I here…Janus?” Logan asked, glancing away. “What do you need from me?”

Janus looked at him intently.

“Let me speak to them as you.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, and Janus sighed, waving a hand.

“I know, I know, more deceit, more lies, but—”

“No, it’s…” Logan pressed his lips together. “You already pointed it out. They don’t listen to me, either.”

The bitter twist that accompanied those words was becoming an all too familiar sensation in Logan’s chest.

Janus snorted.

“Oh, they do. Eventually. They heeded your advice on how to deal with Remus.”

Logan shrugged uncomfortably.

“Look,” Janus added, “honest people know how to tell the truth, but liars…” he smirked, not especially nicely. “We know how to wield the truth to accomplish an end. I can pull Thomas and the others out of this rut, but they have to be receptive to my tugging on the reins.”

Logan pursed his lips.

“You won’t fool them. If you recall, you tried to impersonate me once already and barely lasted two minutes.”

“I didn’t have your blessing.”

Janus fixed Logan with his intense mismatched eyes again, and held out a hand.

Logan stared at it, torn.

This was Deceit, the master liar: Thomas’s entire capacity for deception condensed into a single, snake-faced Side. How could Logan possibly trust him to not make things worse, after all the falsehoods, the impersonations, how he’d manipulated them all in one way or another to get his way?

But…as much as Logan, personally, didn’t understand why that callback had been so important to Thomas…he could not dismiss the fallout Thomas had suffered as a result of missing it. The decision to attend the wedding had turned out to be a bad one.

Patton had been wrong to insist upon it over Janus’s objections, and over Roman’s.

Those were just the facts.

Janus sighed.

“I’ll unmask myself when an opportunity arises, if that would help,” he offered, and to Logan’s shock, slowly tugged off a glove. “I won’t…I won’t let it go on as long as it did with Patton.”

He offered his now bare hand to Logan again.

Out in the real world, Logan could hear Patton’s increasingly desperate and ridiculous responses to Thomas’s and Roman’s questions, and winced. Janus did the same.

“Please,” was all he said.

Logan sighed…it really couldn’t get any worse, could it?…and shook Janus’s hand.

In his TARDIS, Logan let out the sigh he was holding back.

He might have personal, concrete evidence that Janus wasn’t evil, but he also knew Janus had wounded Roman, badly, that day. The creative Side was simply not currently capable of viewing any situation involving Janus with any sort of objectivity.

Passionate, sensitive people like Roman tended to have an unfortunate habit of hanging onto grudges.

As Logic, Logan needed to remember that.

“Oh, all right,” Remus said, his voice crackling over the connection. “Since you’re all here—”

“Actually, Remus, we’re not all here,” Patton’s voice pointed out. “You all know perfectly well who we’re missing; we’ve done this before.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “‘Where is Anxiety?’” he quoted.

“You mean Tickle Me Emo isn’t with one of you?” Remus asked, looking delighted. “Oh dear, oh dear. Is he lost?”

“I mean, TARDISes are huge,” Roman pointed out. “He could be somewhere on one of our ships.” His voice dropped again. “I’ll bet Deceit stashed him away, because we all know how he hates Virgil.”

“Excuse you,” Janus’s voice interrupted, annoyed. “It is Virgil who hates me, not the other way around.”

“Let’s both scan our ships,” Logan suggested, hoping to head off an argument. Honestly, if Roman and Janus didn’t stop picking fights with one another, he was going to lose his marbles.

The scans pulled up nothing.

“Oh well,” Remus said with a shrug. “Guess the emo gets to miss out.”

Janus grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “lucky”.

“All right, here’s what’s going to happen.” Remus leaned close to the screen. “I’ve crash landed on a lovely snowbound planet that’s crawling with psychotic tin cans who like to roll around yelling ‘exterminate’.”

“Daleks? A snowbound planet, so not Skarro, but where else…” Logan narrowed his eyes.

“He’s on the Dalek asylum,” Roman said lowly. “That was one of the episodes I had in mind when I plotted this adventure.”

“Very good, brother.” Remus clapped his hands. “And up there in orbit is a ship full of people who’d really like to blow up the whole planet. Oh, woe is me, whatever shall I—”

“Save it,” Roman snapped. “You’d probably enjoy getting blown up.”

“Hmm, true.” Remus’s green eyes sharpened. “Think of the mess! Little bits of intestines floating through space, long pink ropey—”

“Or?” Logan interjected, before Remus gave Patton nightmares.

“Or you have to come rescue me!” Remus’s teeth flashed as he grinned. “Because otherwise it’s nighty-night for me and all the other aliens in the asylum.”

There was a beat of silence.

“As terrible as that sounds,” Janus drawled, sounding anything but worried, “given that none of this is real, and at least one of us would very much rather not be here at all…why exactly should your plight concern us?”

Logan secretly agreed, but felt his stomach clench when he glanced at Roman’s troubled face. None of this was real…right? Would something concretely bad happen to Remus if the planet he inhabited was blown up?

Surely not.

This was only a dream. Perhaps, then, Roman was merely upset that his twin had usurped his adventure for the night?

“Also.” Remus buffed his fingernails. “You should know that the Imagination will only release us if we complete the objective. In other words,” and he sneered, purple-shadowed eyes glittering, “we’re all stuck in this scenario until we’re all reunited.”

Remus giggled as Logan exchanged a shocked look with Roman.

“I don’t believe you. This was my dream,” Roman said darkly. “And I’ve just about had enough of all this!”

He stepped back and snapped his fingers with a flourish. Frowning, he did it again, and again, his face growing paler with each try.

“Roman, what—” Logan started.

“I can’t end it,” Roman whispered, still snapping. “He’s right. He’s…he’s sealed off the dream’s boundaries somehow. Remus!”

This he roared at the screen.

“Keeping Thomas trapped in a dream state is going too far, Remus!” he yelled. “I don’t care what kind of demented game you want to play with us, but we don’t bring Thomas into it.”

“Oh, you think I created an unbreakable dreamscape?” Remus snapped. “You let the Imagination have too much reign, my dear brother, and now neither of us have the power to end the dream ourselves. I estimate we have about ten hours before Thomas wakes up.”

For a moment, all Logan could hear was the soft whoosh of the time rotor, and Roman’s shallow, angry breathing at his shoulder.

“So I suggest you all pilot your ships to these coordinates,” Remus added, and a series of numbers and strange symbols flashed up on one of the smaller console screens. “And get started.”

The main screen blipped, and Remus’s face was replaced by an expressionless Cyberman and a snake-faced Side who looked extremely pale under his scales.

“Well,” Logan stated. “This is a problem.”

Chapter 6- Asylum of the Daleks

“You’re going to fire me at a planet? That’s your plan? I get fired at a planet and expected to fix it?”

“In fairness, that is slightly your M.O.”

“Don’t be fair to the Daleks when they’re firing me at a planet.”

The familiar wheeze of the TARDIS materializing filled Roman’s ears as he waited by the doors. Logan joined him a moment later.

“Ready?” he asked, smoothing a hand over his cravat.

He looks good as the Doctor, Roman thought, eying the slimming black and navy, the graceful arc that hand made as it adjusted a pair of glasses…

He shook himself out of his distraction. “Let’s do this, nerd.”

Logan opened the doors and the two stepped out…not onto the asylum, but onto a spaceship. Shiny copper terraces lined the vast walls in curving rows, leading the eye up to a domed ceiling with a clear view of black, star-studded space. Like a huge amphitheater, or stadium. Even Roman had to admit, the Imagination had really outdone itself on the realism.

Of course, given that the ship was filled with hundreds upon hundreds of Daleks calling for violence…realism wasn’t exactly comforting at the moment.

“Surprise, surprise, I don’t see my stupid brother,” Roman commented over the dull roar of the crowd.

“No. But I recognize where we are.” Logan waved a hand. “You were right about Remus’s location; this ship is from the episode ‘Asylum of the Daleks’, in Season 7. If we are following the basic plotline, Remus is likely somewhere down on the planet below, and we will be sent to him in due course. However…I am curious as to why all the other aliens are here.”

Roman looked around again, seeing that Logan was right. Daleks formed the majority of the crowd, but he also spotted Zygons, Sontarans, Silurians, other Cybermen, Ice Warriors…and quite a few aliens from older seasons he couldn’t remember the names of.

(Logan probably could.)

A second TARDIS materialized near their familiar blue box: plain, gray; a squat column of a ship. Janus emerged first, a silver instrument gripped in one gloved hand, followed by an old-school Cyberman…Patton. Roman frowned. Seeing that metal…being…and having to remember it was actually his friend was going to be difficult now that there wasn’t a screen separating them.

“Nice work, Roman,” Janus said, sidling up next to him and faux-clapping his hands. “A ship full of aliens who want us dead; always an excellent starting point for an adventure.”

“This is how the episode starts, Mr. Oh-I’m-Such-an-Expert-in-Doctor-Who,” Roman retorted. “Accuracy is important.”

“But this isn’t accurate,” Logan pointed out. “There should only be Daleks here.”

Roman folded his arms, stung.

Damn Logan and his damned need to be right all the time.

“I…well, I didn’t model this adventure after just one particular episode,” Roman admitted. “I wanted it to be a challenge, and it wouldn’t be if Logan and I already knew the ending. So no, I can’t exactly explain why all the other aliens are here, okay?”

Logan sighed.

“I was not criticizing you, Roman,” he said in a gentler voice. “As this has apparently become as much Remus’s and the Imagination’s handiwork as it is yours, it would be unreasonable to expect you to know what comes next.”

“THE DOCTOR AND THE MASTER WILL APPROACH THE SUPREME DALEK,” a grating robotic voice boomed across the ship, making them all whip around. A large white Dalek with an antenna on its shell loomed on a raised stage near the center of the amphitheater.

“They were expecting me, too?” Janus raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

The lights on the Dalek’s head flashed as it spoke again.

“THE DOCTOR AND THE MASTER WILL APPROACH WITH THEIR COMPANIONS.”

The four Sides exchanged a glance, and weaved through the assembled Daleks to the raised stage. The White Supreme Dalek was not the only occupant; it was flanked by an Ice Warrior, an Emojibot (which made Patton giggle), and…

“Look, a Janus,” Roman chortled, nudging the snake-faced Side in the ribs and pointing out the two-faced alien.

“You are all nerds and my logo is a two-headed snake,” Janus complained, rolling his eyes. “I literally do not know how all of you missed that obvious clue to my name.”

“DOCTOR,” the White Dalek said as they climbed the dais. “MASTER. WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE DALEK ASYLUM?”

“I’m just impressed my rat-faced brother wasn’t lying about his location,” Roman grumbled, and sputtered when Logan placed a hand over his mouth.

“According to legend,” Logan said, “you have a dumping ground, a planet where you lock up all the Daleks that go wrong.”

“The battle-scarred, the insane. The ones even you can’t control,” Janus clarified. His voice dropped to a hiss. “No wonder they ssstuck Remus there.”

Roman covered his mouth to keep from snorting.

The snake would not make him laugh.

“CORRECT.” The Dalek pushed a button and a hole opened in the middle of the floor. A snow-covered planet lay below them, pristine from this high up.

“Ooh, that’s,” Patton started, and let out a metallic gulp. “That’s quite a drop. Do we, ah, have to go down the same way? Cause I remember that part, and—”

“How many Daleks are down there?” Logan asked.

“A COUNT HAS NOT BEEN MADE,” the white Dalek said.

“Millions, certainly,” a new voice chimed in. The tall, robed, dark-skinned Janus stepped forward, their front face addressing them. “But they will not be your only concern. The population of the planet consists of more than just Daleks.”

Roman exchanged a suspicious glance with Logan. This wasn’t in the episode. This is new.

“What do you mean?” Janus, their Janus, asked.

The alien Janus turned to a nearby monitor, pulling up some information. The backward-facing face continued to address them.

“Some time ago, the Daleks began noticing a curious phenomenon,” they said. “Random people, from all different races and species, started turning up on various planets in this quadrant of space, including the asylum. No ships, no technology, and no knowledge of how they’d gotten there. At first the imprisoned Daleks on the asylum simply killed them off as they appeared—”

Patton visibly winced, even with his metal body, and Logan’s eyes grew flinty.

“—but the new arrivals eventually became too many to exterminate,” the alien Janus went on, unconcerned. “By now we suspect the planet has a population of over a billion, far too many for its automated systems to handle.”

They turned their forward face to the four again.

“THE ASYLUM IS COMPROMISED,” the Dalek Supreme proclaimed. “IT MUST BE CLEANSED.”

“Hang on, you’re still going to blow the whole planet up?” Roman protested. “A billion people?”

“To be fair, that is what they did in the original episode,” Logan pointed out quietly.

“But that was just Daleks!”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Ah, so genocide is fine when it’s only the evil aliens getting blown up?”

“You know, somehow I’m not surprised to hear you defending the bad guys!” Roman snapped.

“That is enough!” Patton snapped in his robotic voice, stepping between them and raising both his hands. Laser pistols popped out of both of them, making both Roman and Janus step back in alarm.

After a tense moment, Patton lowered his arms again; the guns clicked and vanished into their casings.

“Uh, sorry kiddos, I don’t know what came over me,” he said in a sheepish, more Patton-y voice. “Can we please not fight? It…it kinda makes me feel weird and jittery when you do.”

Roman stared at Patton’s blank Cyberman face and armored Cyberman body and swallowed, hard.

Their Patton would never deliberately aim a gun at anyone, let alone his family. But Cybermen were created to eliminate…or rather, delete…anyone who got in their way.

Did Patton even realize what he’d almost done?

What would happen, if and when he was forced to confront the reality of his body in this realm? What if he didn’t figure it out until he accidentally did something terrible? It wouldn’t be real, of course, but to Patton…that wouldn’t matter.

If his Cyberman programming forced or tricked him into hurting someone, the guilt of it would devastate him.

All I wanted to do was take Logan on an adventure, Roman thought bitterly. A fun little dream adventure where he could play one of his heroes. Was that too much to ask, Imagination?

He folded his arms and glared around the Dalek ship, anywhere but at his fellow Sides.

Whatever the hell this has turned into, I want no part of it anymore.

“In order for us to destroy the planet, we will need you to disable the planet’s forcefield—” The alien Janus started, but Logan held up a finger.

“Excuse you,” he said sharply. “We have not agreed to do anything, least of all help you murder a billion people whose only crime is to have accidentally turned up in your prison. Have you even attempted to solve that mystery?"

"And why do you care what happens down there?" Roman added, sneering. "If the insane Daleks are armed—”

“DALEKS ARE ALWAYS ARMED,” the white Dalek proclaimed.

“—then why can’t they defend themselves?” Logan finished, shooting Roman a questioning glance.

Roman huffed, and looked away.

“At first they did,” the Janus explained. “But as I said, the automated systems cannot keep up with the influx. Wars are being fought over food and other resources as we speak. A starliner crashed on the surface mere days ago, and—”

“Ah,” Logan said slowly. “You’re afraid, with all the shifting alliances and new activity, that the mad Daleks will escape in the confusion.”

“We do not know who or what is behind the influx,” the Janus said. “But eventually, they will start coming with ships, or they will build them on the surface, or reach out to those who could attempt a rescue.”

“‘If sssomeone can get in, everything can get out’,” their Janus quoted darkly.

The other Janus nodded. “Even the Daleks agree, their mad brethren cannot be allowed to escape. We, of this assembly—”

They waved to the assembled crowd of aliens, who observed in eerie silence.

“—have decided that one planet must be sacrificed for the greater good of the universe.”

Roman slowly and deliberately drew his sword (which the Imagination had kindly left as part of his outfit). It rasped as it emerged, the sound hair-raising in the sudden lull.

Instantly every Dalek gunstick and alien weapon on the ship was primed and pointed at the four Sides.

“And if we refuse?” Roman said evenly.

“THE DOCTOR AND THE MASTER WILL COOPERATE,” the Supreme Dalek warned, its lights flashing balefully.

“COOPERATE! COOPERATE!” the cry was echoed by the other Daleks, filling the ship with a cacophony of robot voices.

The alien Janus shrugged, spreading their hands.

“You don’t really have a choice. If you want to live, that is.”

“Is that so.”

Roman tensed and sprang at the white Dalek, not giving himself time to think. He dodged a blast from its gunstick and leaped, bringing his sword down hard. This being the Imagination, the katana cut through the Dalek’s metal armor like butter, and it clattered to the deck in two pieces.

There was a shocked silence…but no retaliation.

“Well?” Roman shouted, spreading his arms and turning in a slow circle. “This is me, not cooperating. What are you waiting for? Are you really going to shoot us?”

If they all died on this spaceship…the worst that would happen is they’d be kicked from the Imagination, and that was what they wanted, anyway.

“Roman,” Logan warned quietly, pointing.

Roman looked.

The white Dalek’s shell was…laughing?

“Oh, Roman,” Remus’s crackly voice emerged from the fallen Dalek’s casing. “Roman, Roman, Roman. My poor brave brother who thinks he can solve all his problems with steel and bravado. Did you really think it would be that easy?”

Each word bit like sandpaper against Roman’s ears.

He growled, and stalked to the Dalek’s top half, snatching it up and quickly locating a tiny speaker.

“C’mon, Remus. End this stupid charade,” he said quietly, holding the casing to his face so he could speak quietly. “You’ve had your fun at my expense. Go back to your pile of severed limbs and gloat if you must, but end this. For Patton’s sake, if nothing else.”

“I’ve already told you, it’s out of my hands,” Remus responded; typically, annoyingly casual. “If you want to end the game, you have to come down here and find me.”

Roman exhaled, resting his head against the cold, bumpy metal for a moment. His eyes burned, but he was Prince; he wouldn’t cry, not here.

“Why must you make everything difficult?”

“Roman, in all seriousness,” Remus’s voice dropped. “I didn’t know you were taking Logan on a date tonight—”

“It’s not a date,” Roman hissed, glancing at the other Sides…one in particular.

“The Imagination brought me into this without asking, just like it pulled the others in,” Remus went on. “I am aware of what has to happen, but I did not cause this.”

“You’re lying,” Roman said tonelessly.

Remus’s whiny voice grew hard.

“I don’t lie, and you despise that about me. You hide so much shit from yourself that it baffles you when I refuse to do the same.”

“Look,” Remus added when Roman didn’t respond. “The Imagination is clearly trying to get our attention. Sure, it usually goes through one of us first, but it doesn’t have to. When it comes down to it, Thomas’s mind answers only to Thomas. ”

“How are you so sure?” Roman frowned.

Was Remus seriously suggesting the Imagination they both oversaw had gone rogue somehow?

“Because I don’t curate my side as meticulously as you do, brother.” Remus chuckled. “I listen. I let the Imagination do as she pleases, free from all those pesky ethics and morals and other boring boxes you always force her into, so that our sweet Thomas doesn’t fear the contents of his own head.”

“You expect me to believe that you know what’s going on because,” Roman let every ounce of disdain seep into his voice, “the Imagination talks to you, and not me…because you don’t make her behave?”

“You should try letting her loose sometimes,” Remus drawled, “or you’ll end up with a cane up your butt like Nerdy Wolverine over there.”

“Don’t call him that,” Roman spat.

“What you so-called ‘light sides’ always get wrong,” Remus went on, “is that the juicy stuff, the gruesome and grim, the ‘bad’ thoughts that filter up from the subconscious; they can’t all be locked away and ignored.” His voice dropped ominously. “Repression can be very bad indeed, you know.”

Roman’s reasonable nature knew that his brother, despite his infuriating attitude, was actually making some good points. Thomas had been dealing with a lot lately; the tension in the mindspace felt like a ticking clock, counting down to the next disaster.

But at that moment, Roman had no desire to humor his twin.

All he wanted to do was lock himself into his own room in the Dream Palace and spend the rest of the night writing sad poetry about love, or listing his mistakes to himself until he fell asleep.

“I just wanted to show Logan a good time,” he said aloud.

“And oh dear, apparently you couldn’t even manage that correctly,” Remus said, implacably. “So maybe you should use this opportunity to get your head out of your poopy ass, and reevaluate yourself.”

Roman slammed the Dalek shell against the floor.

It cracked upon impact, the wiring inside sparking and finally flickering down to darkness. He ran his hands through his hair, reminded, once again, why he hated talking to his brother.

Like looking in a funhouse mirror…

“Roman…” Patton sidled up behind him, laying a cold hand on his back. Roman shoved the metal arm away and stalked back to the others.

“Let’s just get this done,” he said in a low voice.

“You will need these,” the alien Janus said, pushing a button on a nearby console. A translucent vertical tube rose from a gap in the floor, holding three bulky black bracelets.

“Ah yes, I remember this,” Logan said, striding forward and taking a bracelet.

“They will prevent—” the Janus started.

“The nano cloud from converting us into Dalek puppets, yes?” Logan interrupted, snapping the bracelet onto his wrist and handing another to Roman.

The nerd is getting into this, Roman thought as he put it on. I guess that’s something.

“The cloud is only active in certain areas of the asylum,” the Janus warned them again. “And those change as different factions seize control of different areas and weaponize them.”

Patton hesitantly raised a hand.

“Um, Mx. Alien, I can’t help but notice that there are only three bracelets, and four of us?”

Logan frowned. “But Patton, why would you—?”

“I’m sure it’s because I’m part snake, Patton,” Janus interrupted smoothly, swooping in to grab the last bracelet and snapping it onto Patton’s arm.

Roman exchanged an alarmed look with Logan; that was the last bit of confirmation he needed. Patton really was unaware that he was a Cyberman.

But why on earth would Janus go to such lengths to keep him in the dark about it? Even leaving aside the fact that Patton was a walking weapon; being a machine, he didn’t need protection from the nano cloud at all.

Whereas Janus…probably did.

But when Roman opened his mouth, Janus shot him a look full of daggers and promises of pain, and shook his head. Roman rolled his eyes and mentally washed his hands of the situation.

Typical Deceit. Protecting his lies.

At least Patton would be twice-protected. If the snake wanted to risk his life for a lie, let him.

“The gravity beam will convey you close to the crashed starliner,” the alien Janus said, and then there were Dalek blasters being shoved into their backs, propelling them toward the hole in the floor.

“Oi,” Roman protested, “get your freaky little eggbeater appendages away from me, you AAAAHHHH!”

There was a push, and they were falling.

Chapter 7- Oxygen

“Look at this. Classic design. Pressure seals. Hinges. None of that ‘shuk shuk’ nonsense.”

“Space doors are supposed to go shuk shuk.”

“Are you gonna be like this all day?”

Janus was done.

He sat up with a groan, brushing snow from his jacket and vest, making sure his hat and gloves were still in place. Everything ached. Bad enough he never wanted to be part this stupid dream game in the first place; now he was probably going to literally turn into a Dalek.

All because the Imagination is being a dick and Patton doesn’t know he’s a killer robot.

Wind gusted around him, making Janus glad that the Master, like the Doctor, usually preferred long sleeves and a coat. He stood, turning in a slow circle as he took in the lay of the land. Nothing but snow and rocks; true to the episode, still.

The gravity beam had split into four as it hurled them at the planet, but Janus was reasonably sure at least one of the others had landed nearby.

He hoped it was Patton.

Not because he was concerned or anything. It was just that either of the others would be absolutely insufferable company, that’s all.

“Janus!” a metallic voice called, and Janus breathed a sigh of relief.

Patton’s Cyberman body clattered awkwardly down a nearby snowbank, sliding the last few feet to land in a heap.

“It is all kinds of chilly down here.” Patton stood, and waved rather nonsensically. “Hullo there, Janus, so ice to see you.”

Janus rolled his eyes. (He would deny to his dying day that the corner of his mouth twitched at the ridiculous pun.)

“If this scenario is consistent with its source material,” he said, gesturing to the closest ridge, “there should be an escape pod from that crashed ship nearby. Come on.”

He set off across the snow, Patton following in his wake.

“Say, what do snowmen call their offspring?”

Janus exhaled carefully. Hoo, boy, maybe Logan wouldn’t have been so bad…

“I haven’t the faintest.”

“Chill-dren!” Patton chortled at Janus’s grimace. “What did one snowman say to another?”

“St. Genesius spare me,” Janus grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What, pray tell, did one snowman say to another?”

“‘Do you smell carrots?’”

Janus quickly covered his mouth.

“You smiled,” Patton crooned.

“I most certainly did not.”

“Okay, okay, one more.” Patton scurried ahead and turned around, so that he was walking backwards. “Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” Janus said flatly.

“Snow.” Patton hooked his thumbs into the metal rim at waist, like one might on a pair of pants. Janus swallowed and looked away.

“Snow who?”

“Snow laughing matter, Janus, I don’t know why you’re smiling.”

Janus snorted before he could hide it, and cleared his throat.

“I am not smiling, how dare you.”

“That’s twice now!” Patton cackled, the sound coming out all distorted. “Admit it.”

“I refuse,” Janus said, drawing himself up. “You won’t make a liar out of….”

Liar.

He felt the joke fall flat and cringed. Even though Patton’s metal face couldn’t react, those metal shoulders visibly stiffened.

Too soon.

Liar.

Too much history between them.

Besides, you are a liar, his mind whispered. Lies of omission are still lies, Deceit, and you’re doing that right now.

Janus gritted his teeth. They topped a ridge; the expected escaped pod lay half-buried near another ridge, across a flat stretch of snow. The two Sides glanced at each other and continued their journey in silence.

Patton seemed disinclined to continue his little pun war.

Janus badly wanted to say he hadn’t minded the punning, but truthfully, keeping silent was easier. Patton’s baffling ignorance over the state of his own “flesh” was starting to wear on Janus’s conscience. He knew the longer he kept it secret, the worse the fallout would be when Patton finally learned the truth.

The urge to come clean was an unfamiliar one for him, and extremely uncomfortable.

Ironic, the master liar, conflicted about maintaining a lie.

The old him would have laughed, but…the old him hadn’t heard the sincerity in Patton’s voice, when he’d spoken Janus’s true name aloud for the first time. The old him had assumed Thomas would reject him forever…because of Patton.

And then, with Janus still smarting from the sting of Roman’s mockery, Patton had said his name.

Patton had trusted him to take care of Thomas in his stead, when the moral Side knew he had failed at it. The memory still made all Janus’s scales tingle and his heart beat a little sideways.

The new him…this him…couldn’t find it in his small, shriveled, but very much present heart to risk pushing Patton away.

They reached the pod.

Muffled shouts and something that sounded like blaster fire filtered up from inside, making them exchange another glance.

Janus set a hand on the ice-crusted latch.

“Remember, we’ll have to fight our way through a bunch of dead Dalek puppets,” he reminded Patton.

“That’s a lot of noise for just a few puppets,” Patton said softly. “That canonically shouldn’t even be awake yet.”

“I know, and that is strange,” Janus agreed. “Maybe someone got here before us. But we won’t know exactly what to expect until we get down there.”

Patton sighed, a cloud of frost puffing out of his small, rectangular mouth.

Janus pushed the latch, popped his head in, and was met with a scene of utter chaos.

About six or seven human-Dalek puppets, with stalks sticking out of their heads and blasters sticking out of their hands, were locked in a fire fight with a horde of robotic humanoids that looked like they came from the Fourth Doctor’s era, if Janus remembered correctly. Round, bulky shoulders and faces that looked like metal sunbursts.

Both puppets and robots were using the seats as cover, blaster fire zinging back and forth and exploding against the walls in little showers of sparks. Janus and Patton would be directly in the blast zone when they jumped down, a little closer to the robot side.

“Well, someone definitely got here before us,” Janus muttered.

He withdrew his head and studied Patton. Honestly, with his metal body he’d be in far less danger, and those guns in his arms would actually be useful in this situation…but telling Patton he was a walking weapon, now, would definitely not go over well.

“The hatch down into the asylum should be in the cockpit of this thing,” he informed Patton. “There’s a lot of blaster fire, though, so—”

“—don’t get cold feet and hesitate?” Patton finished.

Something in Janus’s heart twisted…something he didn’t dare examine too closely.

“Say, Patton,” he said softly, looking away.

“Yes?”

“What did the hat say to the scarf?”

Patton turned his black Cyberman eyes on Janus.

“What?”

“‘You hang around, and I’ll go a-head’.” Janus let a smirk curl his lips.

Patton was silent for a moment, but then he began to giggle, covering his mouth.

Janus pulled out his sonic laser.

He dropped into the pod with a swing of his legs, catching one of the robots in its metal chest. It fell with a screech, careening into another of its kind, but by then Janus had gained his feet and ducked behind a seat. Patton clattered down behind, with less grace and far more noise…and a random Tivolian tumbled in directly after him.

Patton caught the rodent-faced alien with a startled shout, immediately dropping them again when they screamed and struggled. Janus blinked; where the hell did they come from?

The Tivolian tumbled across the pod’s floor, only making it a few feet before getting cut down with blaster bolts. Janus saw Patton cry out, and caught the Side before he could leap out and draw more hostile fire.

“It’s too late!” he shouted over the noise.

“I should have hung on!” Patton, if he’d had a proper face, would probably be in tears. He hated death. “I don’t know why they were so scared of me!”

Janus could answer that…

“I’m more curious about where they came from,” he said instead, frowning. “They surely weren’t up on the surface with us. It’s like they just teleported in, but Tivolians don’t teleport. They don’t have the technology—”

A blaster bolt exploded across the top of the seat they were hiding behind, showering them in sparks and forcing them both to duck.

“Janus!” Patton snapped. “We need to get out of here!”

“Right.” Janus brandished his sonic. “We’ll just have to run for it.”

He leaped out, activating his weapon, and discovered that a sonic laser had a very satisfying range and kickback. Forget the Doctor’s screwdriver, he thought, blasting a Dalek puppet aside and ducking another gun blast. I wonder if the Imagination will let me keep this…

A cold, dead hand seized the collar of his jacket, yanking him back.

Then there was a yell, a clatter, and Janus turned in time to see Patton blast a puppet with a fire extinguisher. The moral Side chuckled at Janus’s shocked expression.

“I’ve seen this episode too, you know,” he pointed out.

Janus huffed.

The two dodged and fought their way to the cockpit; Janus used his laser to seal the door behind them. For a moment they simply stood there, catching their breath.

(Well, Janus caught his. Did Patton even breathe, in that form?)

“Unauthorized personnel may not enter the cockpit.” Remus’s high-pitched voice came over the speaker system. “Unless it’s an actual pit full of cocks, in which case, where’s my invitation?”

Janus was going to need something a lot stronger than tea, once they finally got out of this mess.

“Remus, for god’s sake,” he grumbled.

“God has nothing to do with my cock, but if that’s how you want to roll…” One of the cockpit screens flickered to life, and there was Remus in all his ruffly, sparkly, mustached glory. Clara’s warm, messy cove spread out behind him, reds and yellows clashing horribly with the green of his sash.

Janus moved so that his chest and shoulders blocked the screen, to prevent Remus from catching sight of Patton. If Remus saw Patton as a Cyberman, Janus would never be able to convince him to keep his mouth shut.

“All right then, where do we find you?” Janus said. “And where did the others land? Not to mention our dear missing ball of anxiety.” He leaned forward, putting on his trademark smirk. “Come on, Re. You must know. One Other to another, you can tell me.”

“Aww, Jan Jan,” Remus crooned, also leaning forward. “You care.”

“I most certainly do not!” Janus sputtered, and cleared his throat. “Patton was worried about Virgil, that’s all.”

“I was?” Patton asked from the other side of the space. “I mean, of course I am, but—”

“But surely you can at least tell us why this scenario isn’t playing out quite like the episode it comes from,” Janus interjected smoothly. He didn’t want Remus to notice the metallic quality of Patton’s voice.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve already told you everything that I know.” Remus shrugged. “Roman really did give the Imagination too much freedom.”

Janus frowned.

“Then how do you know the scenario will end when we find you?”

“I actually don’t! Isn’t it great?” Remus crowed, clapping his hands. “I love stories where anything could happen. We could all get vaporized, or have our flesh eaten by—”

“Remus, focus.” Janus pitched the bridge of his nose. “So, given what we know of this particular episode, you’re assuming that our main tasks are to come get you, and to drop the forcefield on the planet so the Daleks can blow it up.”

“That’s the idea, Double Dee!”

Behind him, Janus heard Patton make a weird, choked noise, and grimaced.

“By the way, Roman and Logan are already inside the asylum.” Remus grinned, the whites of his eyes flashing. “So if you want to catch up, you’d better scute those scaly asscheeks along. Check the floor for a breach; that will be your way out. A breach, ha! Like a butth—”

Janus pointed his laser and fired on the screen, cutting the transmission and sending sparks flying all over the cockpit. An awkward silence fell in which he turned to face Patton, who of course wore no visible expression.

This, and all the reasons for it, annoyed him further.

“I swear if you ask one question about scutes or scales,” he warned, holding up a finger.

“I wasn’t…going to.” Patton held up his hands. “Logan kind of taught us how to tune out the more, er, naughty things Remus says. But I am wondering,” he added hesitantly. “Are you…feeling okay?”

“Fabulous. Peachy,” Janus said flatly, kneeling to feel around on the floor. “Fantastic, allons-y, geronimo, what have you.”

“It’s just, you seem a little angry,” Patton went on. “And you remember, that’s, that’s the first step in being converted. Maybe you should wear the bracelet for a while? We can trade on and off…”

Patton’s fingers went to his wrist, but Janus stopped him with a gloved hand on top.

Tell him, an inner voice whispered. Tell him now, before this gets any more awkward.

“That’s sweet of you, but no, I’m merely frustrated,” Janus admitted. “I would very much like to get out of here, so I can return to the pleasant evening I was having before all thisss.”

He gestured irritatedly around them.

Patton joined him on the floor and together they found a person-sized hole, with a rope ladder hanging down.

“Hey, Janus,” Patton murmured, as they were about to start the long climb down. “Can I ask you something?”

“Why do I have a feeling you’re going to ask no matter what I say?” Janus said wryly.

“Do you remember when that puppet attacked you in the main part of the ship, and I fought it off with the fire extinguisher?” Patton ducked his head.

Janus raised an eyebrow.

“They hesitated, when they saw me.” Patton’s unnaturally black eyes met Janus’s. “That’s why I had time to grab the extinguisher.”

Janus swallowed, his heart starting to pound.

“Well, I’m sure they aren’t used to anyone fighting back—”

“No, they hesitated like…like I scared them or something,” Patton pressed. “It was weird, Janus. Please. If there’s something you need to tell me…you know you can.”

Janus’s mouth compressed into a flat line and he looked away, bitterness welling up inside him.

“Can I, Patton?” he asked softly, holding up a gloved hand. A yellow indictment of everything he was. “Can I really?”

Patton sighed, long and deep.

“Touché.”

Chapter 8- Extremis

“Something’s coming. And I’m blind. How can I see them when I’m lost in the dark?”

Logan awoke to someone shaking him.

He opened his eyes to an expanse of blurry blobs and color splotches, and Roman’s sharp, frantic face very close to his. His eyes have amber flecks, his brain noted inanely. But why is he clear when nothing else is…?

Roman threw his head back and exhaled in obvious relief when Logan groaned, blinking rapidly to clear his vision.

“Singing chimeras, Specs, I was starting to worry.”

Logan sat up and touched his bare face. Ah, there’s the problem.

“Where are my glasses?”

Roman was quiet.

Logan leaned closer to the other Side, squinting. Bad eyesight was such an annoyance. If only Thomas’s developing brain hadn’t decided early on that “smart and logical” also meant “stereotypically nerdy”, and pigeonholed his own sense of Logic into actually requiring corrective eyewear.

“Roman?” Logan tried again.

“Um. About that.”

Roman bit his lip, and handed over a smashed set of frames. Logan’s stomach sank as he examined them; the lenses were shattered beyond repair.

“I found them next to you like that, when I woke up,” Roman explained. “I’ve been trying to summon another pair, but for some reason the Imagination won’t let me!”

Logan pushed down a growing sense of dread, that he’d have to navigate the rest of this adventure half-blind.

“My glasses getting broken is obviously not your fault. We did fall down a rather deep hole,” he pointed out. “But what do you mean, the Imagination isn’t letting you?”

“I mean it’s not letting me!” Roman threw up his hands. “I could summon things on the TARDIS just fine, but now…” He sighed. “I am Creativity, right?”

Logan tilted his head and frowned.

“Is that…Roman, that is a nonsensical question. Of course you are.”

“So summoning a tiny object in my own dream scenario should be easy.” Roman hung his head.

“How long have you been trying?”

“Twenty minutes, maybe?” Roman shrugged, still not looking at him. “All that time, and yet still I fail.”

Logan resisted the urge to point out that twenty minutes should be long enough to realize a thing might be outside of one’s control, and to start brainstorming other options.

Stubborn fool.

“Maybe it’s just as well we picked the wedding over the callback,” Roman added darkly, an uncharacteristic glower twisting his face. “When Thomas’s Creativity apparently can’t even control his own dreams.”

Oh…this isn’t about glasses at all, is it? Logan swallowed around an achy sensation in his chest; the one he always got when something was wrong and Roman made that face and he just…needed to fix it.

Native English speakers have a passive vocabulary of around forty thousand words, he thought, frustrated. So why, in situations like this, am I constantly struggling to find the right thing to say?

The resigned set to Roman’s jaw prompted Logan to try.

“Your inability to summon things may not be your doing,” Logan said, laying a hand on Roman’s knee. “Perhaps the Imagination is attempting to impose a sense of realism on this adventure.”

“Realism,” Roman echoed flatly. “In Doctor Who.”

Logan huffed. “You must admit, summoning objects out of thin air does defy even time-traveling alien logic.”

Roman’s face twitched in the tiniest of smiles. “So why did it work before, Teach?”

“Maybe it only worked on the TARDIS because the ship already defies every known rule of physics.” Logan shrugged. “I admit I cannot possibly intuit the inner workings of the Imagination; I can only theorize from what I have observed thus far.”

Roman chuckled softly to himself, and bumped Logan’s shoulder.

“Aww, Nerd, I’m touched. You’re trying to logic me into feeling better.”

“Is it…working?” Logan asked.

“Kind of?” An unreadable expression flitted over Roman’s face. “At least one of us is still grounded in reality.”

“Where else could one possibly be grounded?”

Roman laughed outright at this.

“Oh, Logan. Never change, okay?”

He stood up, and pulled Logan to his feet as well.

“Where are we?” Logan asked, squinting.

He could tell they were in some large, open space; all blacks and browns and dull grays. Blurry domes of copper were scattered amongst what could be bits of fallen scaffolding or machinery.

Logan was also hyperaware of Roman’s warm arm pressed against his, and his own hand clasped tightly within the Prince’s larger grip. With everything else blurry, physical sensations were all the more distracting.

“Don’t panic, okay?” Roman started.

Logan scoffed.

“You are fortunate that I am not Virgil,” he commented wryly. “Because starting a sentence like that would almost certainly have caused him to panic.”

“Well, it’s just, do you remember that scene in the Dalek asylum episode where Rory wakes up in the hanger full of dead Daleks who turn out to be not actually dead?” Roman said in a rush. “Because…yeah.”

Oh. Logan swallowed.

“So, I am guessing that those copper domes are actually Daleks?” he said softly.

Roman snorted.

“Copper domes? Jeesh, your eyesight sucks.”

“I am aware,” Logan said flatly. “Which means you will have to guide us out. If I remember correctly, as long as we are quiet and don’t kick any pipes on the ground, we won’t wake them up.”

Roman let go of Logan’s hand… and replaced it with an arm wrapped around his waist. Logan only held back a squeak because it would have been extremely undignified.

“Hey, relax, I got you, Specs.” Roman’s breath ghosted over Logan’s ear. The Prince’s shorter stature allowed him to fit snugly against Logan’s side; if Roman turned his head, he could comfortably tuck his face into the crook of Logan’s neck.

Not…not that Logan imagined him doing any such thing.

Roman drew his sword with a metallic rasp, prompting Logan to pull out his screwdriver, and they set off across the floor.

It was a strange, vulnerable sensation, Logan thought, being this close to another, being forced to rely on him for direction…or maybe it was just that Roman’s Rose Tyler outfit left so much more skin on display than his usual royal attire…

To be fair, Roman’s bare arms and short skirt and leggings were the only non-blurry things in Logan’s line of sight at the moment.

“You know, I am not sure how much good a sword will do against a Dalek now,” Logan said dryly (to distract himself). “Since it would seem that the Imagination is now attempting to be realistic.”

“It’ll be a lot more useful than a screwdriver,” Roman retorted. “Honestly, the War Doctor had a point. The later seasons really do start to treat the sonic like a weapon, and it looks ridiculous. There’s an oily-looking puddle to your left.”

They dodged around it.

“The sonic screwdriver is an ingenious, multipurpose tool,” Logan argued. “Fitting for a character who is, at heart, a pacifist. In the right hands, it most certainly could serve as a weapon. For example one could scramble a Cyberman’s circuits, short out fuses, or calculate the precise amount of blunt force needed to take down an enemy.” Logan waved the hand with the screwdriver around them. “All things that a sword could not accomplish.”

“Sure,” Roman drawled, leading them around one of the still, silent Daleks, “but you don’t point a sonic at an oncoming Dalek and expect to survive. Even the Doctor had more sense than to try that. At least a sword could cut off its blaster arm.”

“We don’t know how strong Dalek amor is down here,” Logan pointed out. “You could end up breaking your sword and then where would we be?”

“Better off than we’d be while you assembled a cabinet at them!”

Logan’s foot collided with a metallic something that made an awful CLANG and went skittering across the floor. Roman pulled them up short, his face going pale.

All around them, round blue lights began to flicker on, one by one.

“I kicked the pipe, didn’t I?” Logan said, his heart starting to pound.

“You kicked the pipe,” Roman confirmed in a sick voice.

“EGGS…!” a crackly Dalek voice next to them stuttered, making them jump. “EG-EG-EG-EGGS…!” Its twin lights flashed erratically as it spoke.

“Roman,” Logan started.

“‘Eggs, you may laugh and that’s great…’” Roman sang in a wavering voice. “‘Your smiles are what make my day’…”

The Dalek rolled toward them creakily. “EEEEEGGS!”

Logan’s breathing sped up. Another Dalek rolled in from the other side, causing him to stumble. All around them, mechanical creaks and groans and a chorus of digitized voices rose up…

“EG…EG-EGGS…TERM…”

“Roman, I believe we need to run.” Logan could see the Dalek almost clearly now, its eyestalk glowing, its gunstick rising up.

“…IN…ATE…”

Blurry, flashing lights closed in.

“‘My self-worth’s fragile like an egg,’” Roman sang. The hand gripping Logan’s middle tightened painfully. “‘When it breaks it’s tough to put together again…’”

“EX…TERM…IN…ATE!”

“Roman!” Logan shouted. “Get us out of here!”

“EXTERMINATE!”

A blaster bolt warbled past and exploded over their heads.

Roman shuddered and seemed to snap out of it, seizing Logan’s arm and pulling him so hard he nearly fell. Logan staggered, hanging onto Roman’s hand for dear life as they ran, and ran, and blaster bolts burst at their feet and shattered around them.

“This way, boys and boys,” Remus’s voice sing-singed across the room. Roman yanked them hard in that direction.

“REMUS!” Roman shouted as they ran, and Logan was impressed he had the breath for it. “Remus, you better open that door like you’re supposed to or we are DEAD!”

“Oh, keep your pants on, brother,” Remus snarked, sounding a little closer. “Although maybe Logan would prefer that you didn’t—”

Whatever else he said wasn’t audible over a hanger full of jabbering Daleks and firing blasters.

They reached a wall and Roman shoved Logan down.

“Straight ahead, crawl. Go, go, go!” he said, turning and brandishing his sword.

Bless that Prince and his stupid, stupid bravery.

Logan went, nearly tripping over his coat as he crawled under the barely lifted hatch door. Once he was past the threshold Roman flung himself under and through, knocking into Logan and sending them both sliding across the floor.

There was a hiss and a heavy thud that Logan hoped was the door shutting behind them, and finally, blessed silence. They both leaned against the wall for a moment, catching their breath.

Roman thunked his head back.

“Jesus Christ Superstar,” he muttered.

“Your welcome.”

Remus’s voice crackled through the hallway. Roman growled and sat up straighter, looking around as if his brother would magically appear.

“I did just save your lives,” Remus added. From the direction of the sound, Logan guessed he was talking through a speaker somewhere on the far wall.

“Yeah, and I’m still gonna whip your butt when this is all over,” Roman groused.

“Oooh, do I get to choose the instrument?”

Roman sputtered, but Logan grabbed his arm before he could yell back.

“You know he just likes to get under your skin,” he murmured, and raised his voice. “Thank you for opening the door, Remus. We are grateful for your help.”

There was a silence on the other end, with a quality that Logan would have described as shocked.

“Well. You two lovebirds better move along,” Remus drawled finally, shrill as ever. “Before the Silurian army shows up.”

“Excuse me, the WHAT?” Logan exclaimed.

No answer.

“Remus!” Roman clambered to his feet and helped Logan up.

Nothing.

Except now that Logan was listening for it, he definitely heard approaching footsteps and murmuring, heavily-accented voices. And they were getting closer.

“That dick,” Roman grumbled through gritted teeth.

“To be fair, I think he is trying to help,” Logan pointed out. “In his own way.”

“Don’t be fair to my brother when he’s just led us out of the frying pan and into the fire.”

“We are neither in a pan nor on fire, Roman; I have never understood that saying—”

The lights dimmed and flashed an eerie purple; Roman silenced him with a hand over his mouth. There was a voice…not Remus’s, not alien, not like anything Logan had ever heard. It chanted something, over and over again, before fading out.

The lights flared back to normal.

Logan waited, counting Roman’s shallow breaths against his neck.

Nothing.

“What was that?” he asked softly.

“Beats the hell out of me,” Roman responded. “But I guess that’s our cue to go. Stay close, Mr. Magoo.”

Logan grumbled, but allowed Roman to recapture his hand and lead them in the opposite direction of the approaching footsteps…which had resumed the moment the purple light vanished.

Next time Roman asked him to come on an adventure, he was bringing a spare set of glasses.

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linphd · 4 years

Text

monoma x fem!reader | hateful sex [1/3]

neito monoma x reader

female reader

Neito and (Y/N) have been having hateful sex since their first year at U.A. But do they still hate each other ?

warning : smut, lemon, bit degradation cause it's neito

-> somnophilia, edging, cumshot, riding.

based on this discussion with @mhastories

this is gonna have a part two since we made two posts abt it and this is based on the first one

that's gonna be long anyway cause I have a lack of Neito smut and for once I'm really into a smut I'm writing lmao (2500 words)

They both could tell how it started. Neito had gotten on (Y/N)'s nerves once more, and this time she couldn't find anything else to do to piss him off. It was only them, in front of the dorms, since they had gotten into a fight and had landed in detention. He kept making fun of her, and right at the doors of the 1A dorms, he gave her a look that she couldn't stand. That little smile he had on most of the time, the one he had given everyone at the sports festival. The 'I'm better than you' smile. ''What are you gonna do about it, (L/N) ?'' He asked, before giggling.

The said girl thought, and then smiled. It actually scared Neito to see her smile like that. He only arched an eyebrow, his smile fading. And she kissed him. She even slipped her tongue in, as he gasped at the sudden movement. The boy's eyes only widened when he saw (Y/N)'s amused expression, but still, it was a competition. Everything was. So he deepened the kiss, actually getting into it and closing his eyes. He had kissed some random girls in middle school, but never it had felt this heated and special.

When she pulled away, she stared at him, as if she was waiting for something. ''What ? It felt great ?'' The blonde sang that sentence, his smile back. ''I don't know, you're the one blushing.'' (Y/N) replied. ''You're red too.'' He pointed out, poking her cheek, maybe to make her feel how warm her face was. ''Because I stopped breathing. Don't think I enjoyed that.'' She said, pushing his finger away.

Still, Neito chuckled, catching her attention as she was opening the front door. When she turned, he cupped her face with one hand and kissed her again, this time rather quickly. He was laughing when he pulled away, as she was more blushing than before. ''What the fuck are you even doing ?'' She asked, grabbing his wrist, but not really trying to push him.

''I'm continuing what you started. Strangely, it feels very exciting when we kiss. Maybe it's because I hate you so much.'' He said, caressing her cheek since he still had his thumb on it. They stared at each other for a whole minute, before silently agreeing to finish what they had started. You wouldn't think you would have sex -even less for your first time- with that one person you hate the most, but that's what happened with (Y/N) and Neito.

And if they kept it secret and weren't seeing each other that often during their first year, the two students actually gave up about being discreet once the second year started. People had started to notice they were insulting each other even more than usual, but still didn't mind being paired whenever 1A and 1B had to study, work or train together, during their first year at U.A. Actually, they were even addressing each other with their first names, which felt odd to their classmates.

However, there were rules that they had ; (Y/N) was never going to the boy's dorm, and he always had to go back to his own dorm whenever they were done with their business. And well, that second rule got broken one day where Neito stayed in (Y/N)'s bed. Since everyone had passed their exams, they had a party at the 1A building and they had managed to bring some alcohol to 'try'. And well, that didn't finish well for those two. Sure, the girl's classmates were sure something was going on between them, but they were still confused when they saw the blonde casually walking in their building as if it was his own. That's when they fully understood.

And since that moment the students became aware of Neito and (Y/N)'s relationship, they didn't try to hide it anymore. They weren't dating, no ; they hated each other too much for that. It was only about hateful sex. And believe me, the students really didn't want to know that much details about their relationship ; but Neito was a loud mouth and (Y/N) was simply loud.

Tonight wasn't an exception. Tenya and Izuku were just coming back from a night training, as it was the weekend, and they saw Neito opening their dorms' door. ''(Y/N) is already sleeping, you know.'' Izuku said, still embarrassed since he knew Neito wasn't coming only to play cards or watch a movie. ''No problem, I just need something I forgot in her room.'' He said, casually walking in the building, as the boys were settling in the living room to relax a bit. The blonde made his way to the girl's dorm, knowing she didn't lock the door tonight.

He simply stared at her, seeing her peaceful expression as she was sleeping. Still, he got in the bed, seeing that she had one leg risen to her stomach. He chuckled at the sight. He pulled down her pants and panties, and licked his fingers to lube them. As he started to play with her entrance and her clit, Neito could hear the girl breathing more and more heavily. He knew she wasn't going to be mad at him ; she had told him he could come and that she hadn't locked the door for him. He was a bit late, but he had her consent. And he knew how much she loved waking up to him groaning in her ear, his breath against her neck.

Once (Y/N) was wet enough, Neito managed to slip in one, and then two fingers. And when he felt she was spread enough, the blonde pushed his cock it, very slowly not to hurt her and wake her up because of the pain. Sure he was into that, but not when she was sleeping. When he was finally fully in, he started to pound into her, slow but still hard. He chuckled when he felt her wake up, and burst into laughter when he heard her gasp and moan instantly when she fully understood what was going on.

''I'm sorry I was a bit late, but I had some homework that were due to yesterday to do.'' He said, right next to her ear, making her hum loudly. Wanting him to change to a better angle, she got closer to him, grabbing his wrist when he wrapped his hand around her throat. He got faster as she was fully awoken and into it, chuckling when he felt her getting louder. He kissed the side of her face -wherever he could reach- and escaped a laughter when she released a particular loud moan. He unwrapped her throat and put his hand against her mouth instead, still giggling as he was trying to shush her.

''Your friends are sleeping, you don't want them to bring your moans up to a conversation again, right ? I already do that often enough.'' He said. But she didn't reply, and simply started to bite her lips to restrain her sounds. When (Y/N) started to shake, Neito knew he wasn't going to last. After a few more thrusts, he came, enjoying the long groan she left when she felt his cum spilling inside of her. They both knew they didn't have anything, as they had a lot of exams by being in UA and getting hurt often, so they knew it was still safe for them, despite not having condoms. (Y/N) was on the pill, anyway. However, the blonde pulled out, after kissing the girl's cheekbone. Actually, he almost bumped his teeth against it, only to hurt her a bit in the process. She simply whined, turning her head to look at him standing back up.

''Nah-ah, don't look at me like that. You humiliated me yesterday when we had to train, right ? Bad girls don't get to finish.'' He said, gesturing 'no' with his finger as he was done putting on his pants. (Y/N) only groaned, nuzzling her face in a pillow, before throwing another one at Neito's face. He giggled, before putting it back on her bed. ''See you tomorrow ! I promise that if you're a good girl I'll be very nice to you.'' He said, before winking and walking away, even though she couldn't see him. She was used to him teasing her like that ; she would often do it as well as a revenge. They hated each other, after all. They didn't expect less from one another.

But actually, Neito had managed to be forgiven. 2A and 2B had a rescue training at the USJ, and he had walked to (Y/N). ''Are you pairing up with me cause else no one in my class will partner up with you ?'' She asked, a grin on her face. However, the fact that the blonde simply nodded made her feel a bit bad. ''If you weren't so mean, they wouldn't care being with you, you know. Sometimes you're likeable.'' She said, making him smile at her statement. Likeable, hm ? That didn't sound much like hatred. But, as he followed her lead the whole day, (Y/N) thought that this training was a great one, without any fight whatsoever.

Neito released a particular loud groan when he came all over the girl's face. ''Likeable, hm ?'' He asked, seeing her stick her tongue out and staring at him, just the way he liked it. He had managed to sneak it without nobody noticing, since he knew (Y/N) didn't like quite much when people knew he was there. He cupped her face with one hand, his other caressing any part of her skin he could. ''I love that face ! You know I love it when you do that face !'' He said, pulling her closer to him and running a hand through his hair to push it back.

''I love you so much when you're all covered with my cum ! I love it !'' He said, giggling, his voice high. One could think Neito would pull up his hysterical face, with his creepy smile and his eyes widened, whenever he felt powerful like this. But actually, he was just wearing an arrogant smile, which was still better than anything. He kissed (Y/N) several times, and she enjoyed this moment to sit on his lap. ''You really are nice to me today, (Y/N) !'' He said, already holding her sides and caressing them with his thumbs. She only nodded, settling herself in a more comfortable position.

That was in those moments that Neito was weak. He pulled the girl close to him, so close that her cheek was now resting against his shoulder and he was running his hand on her back, while his other was rubbing his own cock to get hard again. It wasn't going to be difficult. He could feel the cum he had left on the girl's face dripping on his own shoulder and collarbone, and seeing her covered like this could make him go from 0 to 100 real quick.

They were silent. It was a peaceful moment where they could be relaxed and calm, and not rough with each other. That was weird how throughout time, they added some hugs to their hateful sex sessions. Kisses were obvious, most of the time they didn't mean anything. They were even fights for dominance between those two. But the blonde focused on something he said. ''You know I don't really love you, right ?'' He sang, making the girl nod and straighten up to look at him. ''It's just that I'm used to you being so ugly, so once you look beautiful with all my cum all over your face, I get really excited !'' He giggled, his usual smirk on.

Well, it wasn't for long, since (Y/N) noticed he was hard enough for her to sit back on him, riding him. She took him all in one go, as if to shut him up, and that made him gasp very loudly, a little squeak escaping in the process. He looked at her, his smile now gone. ''Oh my God, I can feel it getting harder !'' The girl said, giggling as she was resting her hands on the boy's thighs. ''Be happy about it.'' He only replied, even though he didn't really need to add anything.

As she started to bounce on Neito, (Y/N) could feel the cum that was left on her face getting colder, and that was much less comfortable than when it had just be shot at her. Maybe she looked disturbed by it, since the blonde stopped her in her tracks, grabbing a towel they had prepared in advance to clean her face. Only their heavy breaths could be heard, at that moment. ''There is a movie night this weekend, right ?'' Neito asked, out of the blue.

The girl only nodded, helping him clean her face. ''I've prepared something for you already.'' He said, proud of himself as his cocky smile was back. But as usual, it wasn't for long as (Y/N) started to bounce back on him, making him bite his lower lip so he wouldn't make too much noise.

He loved (Y/N) being teased because of her loud moans, but it wasn't the same thing when he was the one being teased. As the blonde started to thrust his hips up to match her pace, the girl held him in place with one hand, still without forcing. Thus, he stopped naturally, just confused.

''Why ?'' He only asked, coughing on his own moans now that she was going in a rougher pace. ''Funnier.'' She only replied, out of breath, making the blonde smile and grab and breast, since he couldn't match her. However, as he felt her getting more and more excited, he decided to still had some friction to her clit. She had been nice.

However, as she felt his length twitch inside of her, (Y/N) stayed up, going very slow, resting at his tip only. When she almost stopped, she smiled, bending over the blonde. He gasped, out of breath. ''No, no, please please please, don't stop now !'' He said. He sounded so desperate. ''You're such a sub.'' She replied, joking. But with one hard thrust against him, she made him cum immediately. Surely the fact that she had almost stopped helped.

Feeling his hot seed being spilled inside of her, and his fingers still adding some friction to her lower parts since he was trembling from his own orgasm, (Y/N) came right after. She held his chest to catch her breath, as he was now laying, his back against the mattress. He couldn't stay sat anymore. Once they were both breathing in a regular way again, Neito spoke up, caressing the girl's arm's soft skin with his hand. Still, he was looking at the ceiling, focused on a random point.

''Can I stay here tonight ? I'm lazy. Nobody's shocked by my presence anymore, anyway.'' (Y/N) only rolled her eyes before standing up, putting her pyjamas on after cleaning herself. ''Yeah, sure.'' Well, that was better than usual. She was addicted to the 'yeah, whatever'. And here, she had said 'sure'. That made the blonde laugh, his hysterical face immediately showing up.

''AHAH ! You said 'sure' ! You like me ! You want me to stay !'' He was only replied by a pillow being thrown at his face. It lowkey hurt. But he didn't mind, she was going to pay during the movie night, anyway.

wow okay part 2 will include : spit, cockwarming, public sex lowkey and some temperature play yeay

tagging @heroprose cause I saw your comment 😗

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #neito monoma #monoma neito #neito x reader #neito monoma x reader #monoma x reader #monoma neito x reader #smut #monoma smut #neito smut #neito monoma smut #monoma neito smut

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fandom-collective-writers · 4 years

Text

Mystery Date

Pairing: Ray Blackwell x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1,691

Written by : @rikumorimachisgirl

Disclaimer: I do not own Ikemen Revolution and its characters, but this fic is conceptualized and written by me.

It happened on a Monday - that fateful Monday morning, during the Black Army Officers' daily huddle, which you've started attending as part of Sirius's Intelligence Division. Today's meeting was the same as always - nothing uneventful, thank goodness - which meant you could start training with your troop in about ten minutes… At least that's what you thought until Ray asked the magic question.

"Are there any other items you'd like to discuss before we adjourn?" The young King of Spades scanned the room one last time after everyone had given their updates.

"Oh! Oh, I have one! The Festival's on Friday, " your seatmate, Fenrir, cried out.

"Yes, we are all aware and preparations are underway, " Sirius said calmly.

"Oh-ho, but we may have missed out on an item here - a very important item, " the Ace of Spades insisted, as he pulled you to your feet, much to your surprise. "This lady here doesn't have a date to the Lunar New Year Ball yet."

All in attendance gasped. All, that is, except for Ray. The King of Spades sat back at his desk, his gaze lingered at you, as you blushed furiously beside his best friend.

"You should have said so sooner! I would've asked you instead of that Red Army chick that Kyle introduced to me at the bar two nights ago, " Seth whined.

"Why not go with Luka?" Sirius suggested.

"I'm on duty that day, " the Lieutenant tenant General replied, dispassionately.

"See? Told ya we had a problem…"

"You guys don't have to worry about it, " you said, cutting them off before they start giving out suggestions. "It's really not a big deal. I can be on duty on that day, too."

"Or you could get all dressed up and attend the ball with a mystery date, " Ray finally spoke, and silence filled his office once more, as he smiled smugly at you. "And I've got the perfect person in mind for you."

"Well, how about that, " Fenrir turned to you happily. "See? My best bud's getting you a date! What did I tell ya - it ain't a problem, right?"

"Yeah, " you replied, trying to conceal your nerves as you watched Ray leave his office, still smiling smugly. "It's gonna be fine."

***

You lazily crawled out of bed, silently cursing Fenrir and Seth for your lack of sleep. Ray had snuck out of base after dinner and the two officers you were patrolling with did nothing but put ideas in your head. After getting dressed and applying concealer under your eyes to hide the dark circles, you head out to join the team for breakfast.

"'Morning."

You jumped at the greeting and heard a familiar laugh behind you.

"Did I scare you?"

"Not really, " you replied after taking a few calming breaths, as you heard him approach. "Good morning, Ray."

"Rough night?" He peered at your face, as the two of you stood in the hallway just outside the dining room. "Your eyes are red."

"Oh… I… I was up reading, " you started, while watching him cock an eyebrow at you. "I was reading through the applications we received to check for high potentials…"

"If you say so, " he said, but you knew well enough that he didn't buy your excuse. As he made his way to the dining area, you pulled at his sleeve to stop him.

"Hey, Ray -"

"Hmm?"

As his emerald green eyes met yours, you felt your heart pound and your cheeks flush several shades redder. He was so attractive, it just wasn't fair - from his messy dark hair and naughty smile, his lean physique, commanding presence, and his love for books - everything about him was perfect…

Too perfect, you were sure his date to the ball was, too.

"Uh, are you okay?"

"Yes. Sorry, " you said, shaking away your previous thoughts. "I was gonna tell you that you don't have to find me a date -"

"Oh? That's too bad because I already did and he said he's excited about it."

"W-what? You already told him?"

"Yesterday. But you can't find out who he is until the ball. That's how a blind date goes, right?" he smirked, gazing deep into your eyes. "Is there anything else you'd like to ask before we head on to breakfast?"

"Yes, " you said bravely, squaring your shoulders as you met his gaze. "What about you, Ray? Who will you be going to the ball with?"

His eyes twinkled as he smiled wider. "Why so curious?"

"N-no reason."

"I'm going with the prettiest girl in Cradle, " he said, winking at you before he opened the door to the dining area and stepped inside.

You watched his retreating figure, grateful to the gods that he was immediately greeted by the soldiers and the rest of the officers. If he had turned back, he probably would've seen the crestfallen look on your face.

***

"He wanted me to ask you what color your dress is for the ball."

You stared at Ray in disbelief. He had asked you to stay behind after the Officers' morning huddle on Wednesday, and you thought for sure it was because of something urgent. There in his office, with no one else around but the two of you, you thought of all the dresses you currently own.

"Don't tell me you haven't thought of that."

His remark made you wince. "Don't blame me. I wasn't planning to go in the first place, " you retort. "And I haven't even fully absorbed the fact that I have a date, so don't pressure me."

"Well, he has to know to be able to match what you're wearing."

"I know, I know…, " you said, wishing that Seth was there to coach you. "What about the silver dress I wore to the summer ball? Jonah said I looked good in it."

You watched him wrinkle his eyebrows in thought. He seemed to be trying to recall what dress you were referring to. The dress had a modest neckline and a very low back and hugged every curve of your body.

"Too daring, " he frowned. "Do you have other options?"

You sighed and shook your head. "I can't think of any at the moment, " you said. "But why don't you ask him what color he's wearing and I'll shop for a dress to match."

He looked at you briefly and nodded to signal that you could leave. That evening, you received a daintily wrapped package that contained the most beautiful blue dress you've ever seen. Along with the dress came a note that had three words. Three words that made your heart skip a beat.

See you Friday.

***

After the morning huddle the next day, you kept looking for ways to stall leaving the office before Ray did. When you were finally alone, he glanced up from his desk and smiled.

"Is there a reason you're still here?"

"Yes, " you nodded and cleared your throat before walking up to him. "Please tell my date that the dress fits perfectly, and I love the color."

"Good."

"Hm?"

He coughed. "Good. It's good to know you like what he chose."

"But I have a favor to ask, " you blurted out before your nerves got the better of you. "Can you please teach me how to dance?"

"Why me?"

"Well, I figured you'd know what kind of dances he'd like, and I don't want to embarrass him."

He stared at you thoughtfully, and you lowered your gaze as the silence engulfed you.

After several seconds, you heard him exhale. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Meet me here after dinner, " he told you. "But if you step on my feet, we're stopping."

With that promise, you left his office with a spring in your step. He was glad you were distracted, else you would've seen how he smiled tenderly as he watched you bounce out of his room.

And as you swayed to the music in his office that evening, you silently wished your mystery date was as amazing as the man you were dancing with.

***

I'll meet you in the lobby of the Civic center at 8.

You held the note Ray handed you that morning from your mystery date. It was five minutes to eight in the evening, and you had just arrived at the Civic Center in the Central Quarters. You smoothed out the elegantly embroidered blue gown your date had picked out, just as you had stepped out of the carriage.

'This is it, ' you said to yourself. You were five minutes away from meeting your mystery date… and five minutes away from seeing Ray and his beautiful date.

You took a deep breath and tried to shake the thought of the young Black Army Leader off your mind. Tonight should be about you and your mystery date - probably the only guy who took a chance at going on a date with you.

"'Evening."

You jumped at the unexpected greeting, and you once again hear a familiar laugh behind you. You froze on the spot, your heart pounding wildly.

"Somehow this scene seems so familiar, except I was talking to a spaced-out soldier that morning, " you continued to listen to the voice as it grew closer by the second until you finally felt his breath behind you. "And tonight, I'm talking to the prettiest girl in Cradle."

"Ray?"

You turned around and saw him standing right behind you, looking dashing in his crisp black suit and his bowtie that matched the color of your dress.

"Hi, " he said, as he flashed you a dazzling smile.

"Is this some sort of joke?"

"I can tell you it's not, " he said, as he tucked a stray curl behind your neck. "And you are the prettiest girl in Cradle - at least I think you are."

"Then why didn't you just ask me?"

"Because I wanted our first date to be something you'll tell our children about, " he winked and offered his arm. "Well then. Now that we've sorted that out, shall we go in, my lady?"

You smiled and placed your hand in his, playing his words over and over as you danced the night away with your one true love, your mystery date.

The end.

#ikemen revolution #ray blackwell #ray x mc

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [Before the parties would have started, aka the getting ready hours] Jac: What's the vibe in University Hall tonight then? Savannah: [a selfie of lowkey everyone getting ready together cos it's all girls] Jac: 👍 Looks like carnage Jac: don't lose your favourite 💄 Savannah: my ears hurt & I can't stop saying Americanisms Jac: 😂 Jac: Glad I'm not seeing you tonight Jac: almost Savannah: will you still love me tomorrow though? Jac: Even if you start saying like, totally and OH MY GOD at the beginning and end of all your sentences Savannah: I already do say OH MY GOD a lot Savannah: it's not very far to fall 😔 Jac: Fallen 👼🏾 Jac: as you missed out on Sinners Savannah: 😢 I'm sure Savannah: except not at all because I had a much better time with my 👼🏻 Jac: If the stories I've seen are anything to go by Jac: missed nothing but potential 💀💀 Jac: Sports people go so hard Savannah: I know Savannah: it's a definite no thank you from me, in like, every possible way Savannah: even if every 🤴🏻🤴🏼🤴🏽🤴🏾🤴🏿 here was there Jac: we're off 🏀⚽🏉🏑🥍🏏 boys for good Savannah: I swear to god, hit me with a 🏑or 🏏 if I consider it however briefly & however intoxicated Jac: make a pact with some OTT American girl tonight Jac: she'll banshee screech and keep 'em well away 'til I can Savannah: I'll just picture my dad's disapproving face Savannah: wait no, actually that would only spur me on Jac: Some of those girls HAVE to be cool Jac: not as cool as me, obviously Jac: but you should have fun with them 🚫 boys allowed Savannah: I don't know what to wear & it's upsetting me greatly Savannah: none of these girls understand that telling me I look amazing in anything/everything hanging up is NOT what I need to hear Savannah: obviously I do, that's why I purchased & packed it Jac: They aren't lying but they aren't being helpful Jac: send me the options Jac: you wanna get the mood right Savannah: can't we just get ready together? I PROMISE I'll shut my door on you as soon as we're done Jac: I don't know if my ❤ can handle that, babe Savannah: okay, I'll shut the door on you at the last possible second Jac: You know exactly how hard I find it saying no to you, don't you? Savannah: but if you want to say no, you can Savannah: I just know that you don't want to Jac: Give me a sec Jac: I'll convince it's the fashion emergency it is Savannah: 😊 Savannah: the real fashion emergency is that nobody is allowed to touch your hair but me Jac: The girl across from me does have full intentions to straighten it so Jac: wish me 🍀 Savannah: 😠 Savannah: she better step back Savannah: what protection is she intending to use? I think not Jac: You're the cutest ever Savannah: You have perfect natural texture, can she not see that? Jac: She must not see me how you do Jac: but I'm okay with that Savannah: Well, I've got my eye on her now Savannah: if Catholic school taught me anything it's that 🙏🏾 doesn't work so I won't be wishing you luck, I'll be taking hair styling action Jac: I thought you were going to say something about it teaching you how to fuck up other girls Jac: but you're much too ladylike and 👼🏾 for that Savannah: Oh honey, I knew how to do that before I got there Jac: Very true Jac: I remember Jac: we were kind of a bit terrible, weren't we? Savannah: I remember us being young & bored Savannah: so maybe we did some terrible things Savannah: but we're trying to do & be better now Jac: Works for me Jac: though I was considerably less bored when you were there Savannah: me too, of course Savannah: & maybe I was still doing terrible things at 18, which is less young, but I was also in Sligo so I feel like allowances have to be made Jac: Boredom increased as well as age Jac: it's allowed Savannah: heartbreak increased too Savannah: I can't be held responsible for what I do when I miss you that much Jac: It's too soon to make the 'and who' joke about your ex but it's something young and bored me would say so, feels right to honour past us by mentioning it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: he honourably gave me all summer to get over him, it's fine Jac: You were with him the whole two years, yeah? Savannah: yes Jac: thought so Jac: I could never stand anyone longer than a few weeks Savannah: I'm not sure I could honestly stand him longer than that Jac: Is it a security thing? Jac: keeping him around, despite that Savannah: If I was a lecture topic that would be one of the bullet points undeniably Jac: 'Course, sorry Jac: it's all the ❤ talk going on Jac: they'll be over it once this week is Savannah: I didn't mean it like that, I mean that like I wish I could pinpoint the exact reason Savannah: but there isn't just one, I guess Jac: It's cool, I also didn't mean to be a downer so we don't need to bulletpoint or pinpoint either Jac: lectures haven't started yet, just excited for that, obviously 🤓 Jac: you're not easy to commit to paper, to logic and rationale Jac: that's why I like you Savannah: you could never be, I'm so happy whenever I'm with you Savannah: & I'm even happier you're so excited because me too, of course Savannah: I know I'm very illogical & irrational, I'm the happiest that you like me in spite of it Jac: 🥰🥰🥰 Jac: Freshers has, obviously, been better than I had imagined it could be Jac: but that's almost entirely because of you Jac: I wanna get going now, with the actual course, what we're here to do Jac: though I want this time to last forever, so, conflicted but Savannah: I've changed my mind, I think I'm the happiest actually that none of these girls can see me 😳 because of you Savannah: I feel the same way though, about all of it Jac: I promise I won't embarrass you in front of your dormies Jac: even though I like it when you 😳 best of all Savannah: You could literally never do that either Savannah: none of them are anything like you to the point that I feel sad for them Savannah: because you're perfect Jac: You're the most incredible person I've ever met Jac: we're special together Savannah: you're special without me Savannah: but I'm not leaving you ever again Jac: I love you so much Savannah: I love you too Jac: [leaving it a long-ish time for them aka 10 minutes or something] Jac: I am free, and omw Savannah: Thank GOD Savannah: I thought you were going to say you weren't coming Jac: No way Jac: my room is on the top floor, so I kept getting stopped on every level 🙄 Savannah: At least I know that girl wouldn't have been able to straighten your hair in that amount of time Jac: unless she was just gonna do the top layer and then I'd look like a 🌲 Jac: but that did not happen, thank GOD Savannah: Don't even Savannah: I would cry Jac: Me too Jac: not that there's anyone I really wanna impress, also don't want or need the potential nicknames that would come from that non-look Savannah: Baby, I would never let anyone tease you, or you leave her with a non look Savannah: I could & would fix it in spite of my overwhelming sadness Jac: Dry those eyes Jac: only ten minutes away and not looking like a shrub Savannah: 🥰 Jac: This walk takes longer going to see you than it does coming back Savannah: I miss you too Jac: 😳 Savannah: that's also how I'll look when you see me like this Jac: Come on Jac: you're perfect Jac: we just need to find an outfit as equally so for tonight Savannah: It's not the outfit, it's my insane nerves Jac: What are you nervous about? Savannah: This isn't like our psych night, you know, what do I have in common with any of these girls? Potentially nothing Savannah: I'm having catholic school flashbacks Jac: I get you Jac: think of it as less about making friends, and more about making decent neighbours Jac: the people on our course, we'll be seeing the full four years, the people in our dorms, it could just be this year, 'cos we'll all move next Jac: don't put too much pressure on yourself Savannah: I don't wanna do it but I can't be the girl who doesn't get involved, that would actually be crazy Savannah: you're right, I know that you're right Jac: I don't either Jac: if it had to compete with a night with you, no chance Jac: we'll give it a solid hour, and if it's truly awful, then we'll just hole ourselves up in one of our rooms and hide Savannah: okay Jac: but it won't be Jac: everyone will love you Savannah: I don't want everyone to love me, just you Jac: then they can admire you respectfully from afar Savannah: 👸🏽 Jac: I hear the American girls are loaded Jac: I bet they have loads of 🔥 makeup and clothes to borrow Savannah: the skincare would make my auntie 😢 Jac: wonder if there's any princesses Savannah: I'll find out Savannah: maybe not tonight but eventually Jac: you won't run away with her Jac: even if the skincare is beyond 💣 Savannah: I'll run away with the skincare Savannah: to you Jac: ❤ Jac: loml Savannah: ☺️ Savannah: It would be SO typical if the loudest brashest girl in this dorm who I already can't stand was royalty of some kind Jac: I think I saw her on my way out yesterday Jac: you'll have to point her out Savannah: You definitely heard her, I swear she's woke me every morning so far Jac: Ugh Jac: need to think of a way to 😶 her Savannah: I will be stealing her skincare because I'm BEYOND sleep deprived Savannah: What did you do when you had to share with Jude? Jac: military grade headphones Jac: but ignoring her makes her 😠 so it was one of the only joys I had too, like Savannah: Then I won't be able to hear all the secrets you spill in your sleep, she's not taking that possible joy from me Jac: 😨 Jac: ?! Savannah: I remember one of the first times I slept over, we had a full conversation because I asked if you were awake and you answered yes & asked me if I was okay, which was so sweet by the way, & I didn't realise that you were actually still asleep until after I'd told you everything Savannah: that's the only reason I'm hoping for secrets 😄 Savannah: you don't ever tell me anything scandalous, you're just an 👼🏻 who always tries to take care of me Jac: I'm glad my subconscious hasn't totally betrayed me Jac: and that it cares as much about you as conscious me does Savannah: your subconscious loves me too, it's the cutest Jac: ☺ Jac: you're very lovable Savannah: The girl we hate has literally just asked me if I'm talking to my boyfriend 🙄 the love of my life, yes, some ridiculous boy from freshers, not even Jac: 100% she thinks she's found a 🤴 and he's a total 🐸 who'll spend the rest of the year ghosting her Savannah: 😄 SO true Jac: Some of the lads on our course are nice and everything Jac: but they all seem like 👶 somehow Savannah: I could not agree more & I've done my time babysitting Jac: Seriously Jac: we've got enough to focus on without mothering some poor homesick boys, no thanks Savannah: Of course she's doing art history, it's clear she intends to focus on cliches Jac: Oh my God Jac: I bet she dresses like a mini Middleton Jac: bless her ❤ Savannah: I won't be borrowing her 💄👚👠👒 Jac: 🤭 Definitely not Jac: Meghan is prettier and much more stylish Savannah: I love her Savannah: no offence but I would have to run away with her if she were here Jac: 😏 I understand Jac: I'll control my 💔 Savannah: not that I could bear to break up her & Harry & their beautiful family unit, however hypothetically Jac: they're adorable Jac: and you don't need to steal anyone else's 🤴 or 👸 Savannah: I really don't Jac: no one wants to be that evil queen stereotype Savannah: that's a reputation that would follow you Jac: came here to escape all of mine, not acquire new ones Jac: new 👎 ones Jac: 👍 ones are welcomed, obviously Savannah: I'll resist the urge to make the obvious unfavourable comparison between an evil queen & my dad's new girlfriend in order to do the same Jac: Does she come as a package deal with ugly stepsisters or are they not that serious yet? Savannah: I don't think he's willing to be that serious Jac: at least you don't have to be either then Savannah: I'm not there, he can't control anything I do anymore Savannah: but he needs to be fair to Sienna Jac: What does she think about it all? Savannah: She says she's happy he's moving on too, because I was leaving & mum's getting better Savannah: like we're in a fairy tale Jac: That's obviously just what she wishes and hopes is true Jac: even if it's not totally, yet Jac: but it's not, not true, right? Jac: Your mum is doing better than she was, yeah Savannah: but we both know better than rock bottom isn't recovered Savannah: I don't want her getting her hopes up too high Jac: Absolutely Jac: that's tough, all you can do is talk to her and tell her that Jac: even if she's not listening, she will be, you know, it'll sink in regardless Savannah: She's BEYOND sick of the sound of my voice, I'm not giving up though Jac: you're such a good sister ❤ Savannah: because I only have one, god knows how you cope Jac: Poorly, I'm sure Savannah: no way! Savannah: you're an incredible sister & best friend Jac: I'm not but Jac: it's complicated Jac: and not important right now Jac: [show up for this outfit emergency sure] Savannah: [we all know how happy she is to see her and how extra she'd be about it as standard so] Jac: [enjoy your moment you're not meant to be having ladies] Savannah: [casually ignoring all the peeps that are everywhere because you've got your bae now] Jac: [we know the vibes, we out here being gay] Savannah: [and drinking 🥂🍾 cos we extra] Jac: [we loving life 'cos we're together we're these bitches but you will be separating ladies] Savannah: [get all your touchy feely flirting in now gal cos yeah she has to leave] Jac: [at least you have the thinly-veiled excuse of needing to dress her] Savannah: [take all the thinly veiled excuses while you can cos we can't avoid the convo forever ladies] Jac: [or can you lmao] Savannah: [lives together for the next decade, gets married and has babies, still hasn't had the convo lol] Jac: [truly, okay, so you gotta go girl, we know what this would've been like, cue dramatic pining] Savannah: [sends her a selfie like 🥺 as soon as she's left basically with the flimsy excuse of the girl they hate being there in the background] Jac: ugh, isn't there some art for her to go appreciate Jac: besides you Savannah: she can appreciate my 😳 if you keep complimenting me like that Jac: you look amazing Jac: everyone is gonna be DYING to talk to you Savannah: thanks to you I do Jac: like you said, you look good in all your clothes, obvs, it was just picking the one for tonight Savannah: but whatever the outfit choice, I'd still be a nervous wreck if you hadn't come over to make me feel better Savannah: you make me feel amazing, that's why I now look it Jac: You return the favour tenfold, trust me Jac: whatever dress I throw on is not even half of it Savannah: 🥰 but I do still want to see what dress you have thrown on Jac: Of course Jac: 🤞 my room hasn't been turned into designated pre-party area or something Savannah: I can remember perfectly well how intimidating you can be if you need to, but I'll try not to as my 😳 didn't subside that long ago & it's honestly so hot all the things that you're capable of Jac: I'm not okay with you being intimidated by me Jac: you're as capable and hot, that's why we're here together Savannah: You don't have to worry because I'm not, I know how kind & sensitive you are too, especially when we are together Savannah: it's one rule for me & another for all the stupid boys we're surrounded by, in my case literally right now, seemingly out of nowhere Jac: Eurgh Jac: at least they're not constantly around your dorm Jac: though most of them have been okay, they are some really annoying ones in JB Savannah: 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 I'm not actually going to announce to my dad that he made one good decision, but between you & me 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 Savannah: consider this your sanctuary whenever you need it, baby girl Jac: He made it for the wrong reasons so he doesn't deserve the round of applause but Jac: ❤ Jac: next year we can get somewhere amazing, and only have over the people we want Savannah: at this point that's literally just Maddie 😄 Jac: Devin is nice, even though she's American Savannah: I don't hold it against Meghan so I'll extend her the same courtesy, I guess Jac: I'd say Nat but I don't know if you'd want her in your house, you know 😏 Savannah: like I wouldn't want her their specifically or she's not house trained in general? Jac: [sends her the butch girl's sinners night socials like see for yourself] Savannah: oh Jac: 😂 Savannah: okay, well I did ask Jac: Yeah Jac: she like, likes me Savannah: of course she does, you're perfect Savannah: she'd have bad taste if she didn't Jac: you knew? Savannah: her aesthetic isn't exactly subtle Jac: That's true Jac: she's alright though, if you get past that Jac: aside from the hitting on you every five seconds thing Savannah: She didn't try & hit on me 😢 Savannah: I knew the ✨ were too much! Jac: Maybe your aesthetic is the opposite of subtle too? Jac: you'd be far more 😢 if Maddie hadn't Savannah: Maddie didn't, she was all over that boy whose name I didn't catch Jac: Awh, baby Savannah: 🥺 Jac: I'll flirt with you, if you're feeling leftout Savannah: you don't like her more than me, do you? Jac: in what world is that even possible Savannah: it's freshers, we're about as far removed from the real world as it's possible to be Jac: I don't like her Jac: you're my best friend ever Savannah: it's okay if you do, but you can't like her more than me Jac: Never Savannah: experimentation is what university is for, everyone knows that, so it's fine Jac: Yeah, it's fine is it? Savannah: of course Savannah: you can like whoever you want Jac: She's not my type so Savannah: Devin then Jac: You're cool with that Jac: like, that's what you want? Savannah: for you to be happy is all I've ever wanted Savannah: why wouldn't I be cool with whoever you date, unless they're horrifically unsuitable, criteria which we can't impose on her simply for being American Jac: Okay Jac: 'course Jac: I'm back, I'll let you party in peace Savannah: you have to show me your outfit first Jac: I'm just gonna chill in what I had on, who cares right Jac: we aren't going anywhere Savannah: I obviously care but sure, you do look beautiful as you are Jac: You know what I mean Jac: no entry requirements Savannah: except 🍾🥂 Jac: so much Jac: the headaches aren't fun Savannah: but everything up to that point always is Savannah: it's going to be so strange not having you here later Jac: I know Jac: we should probably get used to it Savannah: No Savannah: I've just gotten used to having you back Jac: I'm not going anywhere Jac: but you need the legroom, you said Savannah: that's not how you made it sound a literal second ago & you can't leave me, I need you Jac: We'll only share a bed 'til you get a boyfriend Savannah: I'm not getting a boyfriend Savannah: I distinctly recall telling you, I like being single Jac: For now Savannah: Yes, because we're talking about right now Jac: We don't need to talk about this at all Savannah: not if you don't want to Jac: we should be having fun Savannah: stop it Jac: Stop what? Savannah: you've been trying to end this conversation since you got back Jac: Only for you Savannah: that's not true Jac: not just for that Jac: but we should be, you think so too Jac: experimenting, whatever else uni is good for Savannah: I think you should do whatever will make you the happiest Jac: I know, I know Savannah: so okay, if the fun you believe we're meant to be having tonight doesn't include me, I'll talk to you when you've had it, I guess Savannah: I don't want to hold you back or anything Jac: That's not what I mean Savannah: Well, what do you mean? Jac: I don't know Jac: and I don't know what would make me happiest Jac: can that be okay too Savannah: you don't have to have answers for everything all the time, especially not just in order to give to me when I'm being demanding about it Jac: It's fine Savannah: it doesn't have to be, you're allowed to be annoyed at me, even in our honeymoon period Jac: I'm not annoyed at you Savannah: you know what I mean, all your emotions are valid Jac: So are yours Jac: you've been clear what yours are, I haven't Jac: I'm angry at myself, not you Savannah: I don't want that Jac: It's not your fault Savannah: it feels like it is Jac: It really isn't Jac: I'm sorry Savannah: how can I make you feel better? Jac: I'll be fine Savannah: don't say that, let me fix it Jac: You can't change how you feel, and I don't expect you to Savannah: I love you, nothing is ever going to change that Savannah: that's how I feel, you know that Jac: I do know what I want Jac: and I'm not experimenting Jac: alright Jac: that changes everything Savannah: I meant with different people, that's all Savannah: you've said yourself that after a few weeks you lose interest Jac: I've not lost interest in you in two years Savannah: you haven't seen me in two years Jac: Like seeing you is going to make it go away? Savannah: if I can't live up to your romanticised view of me, then yes Jac: I know who you are Savannah: I don't think I really know who I am though Savannah: not after everything Jac: I think that's normal Jac: and I like whoever you are Savannah: if you can throw a 'for now' at me, I can too Jac: That would be convenient Jac: but it never happened before, so I don't see that it will Savannah: this has never happened to me before & yet you still believe I'll choose some boy over you Jac: I've not either Jac: I'm just saying how it was before Savannah: well that isn't a fair comparison Jac: Isn't it? Savannah: No Savannah: I didn't want you to kiss me before but it's all I want now Jac: that's what I want too Savannah: did you get the same message I did about the second year psych house party? Savannah: we could go Jac: Should we? Savannah: we want to join the pysch society, right? At least some of those 2nd years will be part of it Savannah: it's more productive than awkward small talk with these girls in my dorm Savannah: & most importantly, I'll get to see you again, so yes Savannah: I think we should Jac: You're right Jac: we can make these connections any time, this is a too good an opportunity to expand our horizons Savannah: exactly Savannah: though by the time I've walked over to you in these heels you'll have had time to make a million connections within that dorm too Savannah: 😄 Jac: You need to invest in a pair of flats for your bag, seriously Savannah: I've done my time wearing flats & I got rid of that urge, coincidentally, once my insecure boyfriend dumped me Savannah: I need to drink less 🍾🥂 potentially Jac: Okay 😏 but be careful Savannah: You're adorable Jac: I'd rather you didn't fall into the sea, or a golf hole, that's all Savannah: I promise to look where I'm going since you aren't here to look at Jac: Not much to look at currently Jac: I better get changed after-all Savannah: that's not even close to true Savannah: you're beautiful & interesting irrespective of what you're wearing Jac: Now you're being shameless Savannah: I would NEVER Jac: 😂 Savannah: if you make me laugh there's every increased chance I will fall into a ⛳️ Jac: 🤐 Jac: You're shameless in a good way Savannah: Then you won't mind me asking a shameless question, do you think she's going to be there? Jac: Who? Savannah: Natalie, of course Jac: Oh, I dunno Jac: if she knows some older psych kids already, could see it, but otherwise, doubt it Savannah: Hmm Jac: What's hmm? Savannah: I'm just thinking maybe I need to run into her if she's going to be flirting with you whenever you do Jac: So she can flirt with you too Savannah: So she'll stop doing it, I'm not that shameless, thank you Jac: How are you gonna get her to do that? Savannah: I'm sure she will respect that I saw you first Jac: You're so Savannah: it's like beyond terrifying when you don't finish a sentence Jac: it's only 'cos I'm gonna say something so nice it'll scare us both Savannah: I could never be scared of a compliment Jac: Just me, then, make it worse 😋 Savannah: Baby, you don't need to be scared either Jac: But I want you so bad it is Savannah: you aren't going to lose me so it doesn't have to be Jac: I'll try Jac: to believe that, to not be scared Savannah: I'll be here to help you, because nobody can separate us this time except us & that's not something I'm ever going to let happen Jac: Good, as long as that keeps being what we both want, then there's nothing we can't solve Savannah: I believe that Savannah: [probably show up so you can be extra in person gal starting with your 😍 over whatever she's wearing now] Jac: [when you're definitely going in for the kiss right away no pretense] Savannah: [we all know she's about it] Jac: [thank god lmao] Savannah: [don't need a repeat of that runaways moment] Jac: [truly, casually try to calm down with 🍾🥂 now 'cos nearly died] Savannah: [when you're lowkey so into each other that you forget you've got somewhere else to be going] Jac: [already bailed on one idea here ladies] Savannah: [makes me lol like how long did you last at your dorm parties, no time at all] Jac: [literal, and you were just on your phones nearly having an argument so] Savannah: [not that I blame you cos everyone I shared with were dicks and you are only there for the first year which will fly by but the point ladies] Jac: [my poor boo, but we know you ain't making bffs so it matters not] Savannah: [god bless you two because it will be a miracle if you make it to this party with how highkey you are rn] Jac: [how you've only kissed is amiracle] Savannah: [I have the hilarious mental image of them both fixing their makeup and hair like okay we can go & then making out again so they have to redo it and so on for infinity lol] Jac: [rinse and repeat, too real] Savannah: [like what are you putting on and taking off too, very we ain't even gonna make it to this club, Beyonce approves] Jac: [bop and a lifestyle] Savannah: [Savannah already has the biggest lips ever they would be obscene after kissing forever, what a visual] Jac: [someone said she should be cast as Sally from tnbc and I can't unsee lol] Jac: [corpse bride fool] Savannah: [should we let them hook up tonight or wait until tomorrow/ the end of freshers?] Jac: [I say tonight purely so they can be ultra gay at the festival moment tomorrow lol] Savannah: [I agree that's a great idea] Jac: [and we almost had a real convo so it's been amped up here] Savannah: [I know I'm evil but I think their first time should be like a bit awkward because we always let everyone have a swag one and like you can get there ladies but it fits with who Savannah is/ how easily she'd freak out if everything wasn't perfect after all this build up and it works once again for them because their communication and trust levels that neither of them would be like okay well that's NEVER happening again ever] Jac: [that makes sense to me too] Savannah: [like if Sav was freaking out/crying cos she's like this is not going according to plan Jac isn't gonna let her leave, as she said they can work anything out and would once she's calmed down because gal you're clearly into each other, you can do this, just chill] Jac: [we know you can calm her down and as long as it's not like 'I don't wanna do this anymore' she's not gonna freak too so] Savannah: [and we all know when it's swag it'll be swag because she's 100% that straight girl that was like oh yeah it takes me a really long time to have an orgasm which I know is a real thing like Rosie always saying she takes like 45 minutes but in her case it's definitely her boyfriends not doing the most because that was such a thing when I was in that straight girl tumblr tag lol] Jac: [it just makes sense, like we wouldn't know what to do with a penis 'cos we don't have one, you need to learn whereas if you know yourself if you know what I'm saying, gay sex is easier to be good at] Savannah: [she just always puts too much pressure on herself to be A+ at everything immediately so it made sense to me that she would have a me style freak out because she hasn't done loads of nerdy prep for this whereas Jac can just swag it because she's not doing that she's just in her emotions] Jac: [god bless, we just freaking out that she's gonna flip 180 at any minute but not gonna let that stop her obvs] Savannah: [it's fair because we'd all be thinking it] Jac: [hence tryna say it but being crap at doing so] Savannah: [go to the party first though ladies because if this hook up drama happened first you'd never make it] Jac: [yes, go get adopted by some psychology students] Savannah: [love that for you both tbh] Jac: [you'd be thrilled, nerds] Savannah: [even though you're both really distracted by how much you wanna hook up, focus nerds] Jac: [whatever gets you going i guess] Savannah: [is there anything we really want to happen at this party or should we just keep it chill, by which I mean sexual tension off the charts but a good time had by all] Jac: [Hmm, Natalie should not be there 'cos too cool for school but even if she was, bye, do you have any ideas?] Savannah: [I agree they should be the only psychology freshers there because nerds and defs getting adopted] Jac: [agreed, be those hoes we know you are] Savannah: [you've been extra in terms of nearly having a row so of course you gotta be extra the other way and just keep all those makeouts going, JJ would be proud] Jac: [people would be about it like the bitch on the beach 'cos straights are always like OMG YOU'RE SO SWEET AHH so you can lap that up shamelessly like oh yes we are haha] Savannah: [progress is being made tonight honey cos we did that little display for the butch on psych night but you've not actually kissed anywhere but your dorms] Jac: [proud of you gals] Savannah: [considering the awkwardness of a 2 year absence that we started this uni experience with, you're doing amazing gals] Jac: [truly, such a weird situation who knows what any of us would do] Savannah: [if it was me I'd have to just pretend the other person didn't exist for the rest of my life and suffer] Jac: [not I, I would get you] Savannah: [I really hope there's no gross posh boys at this party cos you don't need that any of y'all sweet nerds] Jac: [undoubtedly there is but pretend to be progressive and just silently oggle ty] Savannah: [tah very much lads] Jac: [gotta pretend to be cool even though they are paying you NO attention] Savannah: [nor will they, we're leaving the straightness behind forever] Jac: [that tickled me] Jac: [maybe there was a student teacher there or a real one but not in a creepy way, bit weird but uni is, so maybe they cornered 'em and now have separate meetings with 'em to like, get ahead, idk, nerd shit, so one of them has gone first and then it's like morning, afternoon, time to start getting ready so they've gone back to own dorms] Savannah: [yeah there's loads of potential for what that could be because we know they'd wanna be involved in everything] Jac: [literal like maybe there was two important peeps and they're tackling one each, it don't matter, you will have to part some times and that's all we need] Savannah: [yeah we know what the vibe we're trying to get at here] Savannah: I can't find my [insert obscure makeup routine item/accessory that she simply must have to get ready like okay]! Savannah: today is a trial already honestly Jac: Has Mega not Markle been snooping through your stuff? Jac: I think I saw it in your brown satchel last though, really Jac: What's up, boo? Savannah: I hope not & I instead hope that you're right as you usually are Savannah: maybe I have champagne brain or something Jac: I've not heard of it being a Thing™ but I still lock my door even when I'm just going to the kitchen 🤷 Jac: we did drink a LOT more at the party Jac: productive though, like we hoped Savannah: as long as I didn't make a TOTAL fool of myself, I'm counting it as a definite success Jac: Not even Jac: you were perfect Jac: we weren't that level of drunk or we would have KNOWN not to approach the editor of the magazine Savannah: I don't know how you always manage to put me instantly at ease, except of course that you're actually the level of perfect that you're trying to portray me as right now Jac: You deserve to be Jac: no one else works as hard as you Jac: you need to take the time and headspace to enjoy the spoils of Savannah: literally god knows when but I'll try Jac: tonight will be a good place to start Jac: the expectation is nothing but to dance and have fun Jac: in something as colourful and ✨ as possible Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I do understand why the majority of freshers are claiming it to be the highlight before its even happened Jac: it'll be mine to see how beautiful you'll be Savannah: you're this smooth, this early, after that much 🍾🥂? Okay then, wow Savannah: the pressure is back on Jac: Not even Jac: you make me feel the cheesiest Savannah: you're not though, trust me, because my ex was & you're so far from Savannah: his everything basically Jac: I'll take it as the compliment it undoubtedly is Jac: have you found your [thing]? Jac: I can go into town and check if they have some, though the chances are slim Savannah: you have to because I can only be so complimentary & remain productive when I already miss you this much Savannah: yes! You were so right about where it was, of course Jac: I miss you more Savannah: that's impossible & I refuse to acknowledge it Jac: you'll have to when I show you later Savannah: oh Savannah: well now I'm unfocused Jac: Are we mad about that or no? Savannah: frustration does come into it, anger doesn't Jac: You're so cute Jac: tell me how I can help Savannah: you are helping Jac: more Jac: I wanna help more Savannah: No, because I can't demand that you come here any time I want you to Savannah: even if I really want you to Jac: it'd be hot if you did Jac: demand away Jac: though I really do need to go into town, stock up on some essentials Savannah: I'm trying to be 👼🏾 Savannah: but you & the lord are testing me Jac: You're very good Jac: that's the problem Jac: I never want to leave you, or do anything but be with you, properly Savannah: 🥺🥺🥺 Savannah: you're going to make me cry or run towards you or something else as dramatic Jac: I can handle dramatic Jac: prefer the term passionate though, suits you better Savannah: you think you can Jac: prove me wrong Jac: try to, anyway Savannah: stop trying to tempt me, you'll never get to town if I do Jac: Okay, okay 👼🏻 Jac: just making sure you're the most excited you can be to see me later Savannah: you're making sure I need to see you now Jac: Maybe Savannah: it's not a maybe for me Jac: Promise? Savannah: yes Jac: 🥰 Jac: I don't know what to say but that Savannah: you don't have to say anything, just come & see me before you go Jac: alright Jac: hold on Savannah: 😊 Jac: I know you look much cuter than that emoji rn Savannah: [a selfie because of course she looks effortlessly 💣] Jac: oh Savannah: Now you know exactly how I look Jac: now I need to 🏃 Savannah: I wouldn't be mad about it Savannah: I am waiting for you, after all Jac: You reckon you've been patient enough, yeah? Savannah: don't you think so? Jac: You've not wanted to kiss me for as long as I've wanted to kiss you Savannah: I know Jac: so, you can wait a little bit and I won't feel too bad Jac: even if you 🥺 Savannah: I don't want you to feel bad, you know that's the opposite of how I want to make you feel Savannah: for a really long time Savannah: but if you want to make me wait instead, you can Savannah: I won't 🥺 Jac: Savannah Savannah: ? Jac: Do you know how good it feels to hear you say all that Savannah: I may not have waited as long as you but I still feel good right now knowing that this is something that's finally happening Jac: I want you to feel good Jac: and happy and safe and Jac: only good things Savannah: that's all I want for both of us Jac: you make me happy Savannah: I hope so because you did & do make me the happiest I've ever been Jac: then it's settled Savannah: that you're running here? Okay Jac: That, Jac: and the fact we're going to keep doing everything we can to make each other happy Savannah: 😄 Of course Savannah: I knew that's what you actually meant but it'll make me really happy to have you here Jac: I'm looking forward to feeling that Savannah: you won't have to leave too soon, will you? Jac: Nah Jac: we've got time Jac: you're my priority right now Savannah: that's a relief because you're everything to me Savannah: & if I have to make time by following you into town & every shop, then I will Savannah: but you might want more privacy than that Jac: there's no maybe that I want to be alone with you right now Savannah: that's another relief, I don't think I'm ready to be that shameless Savannah: it's a very small town Jac: 😂 Jac: you never have to be that shameless Jac: I only wanna do what makes you happy Savannah: please remind me of that when lectures start & you're the only thing I can think about because I feel like the urge to be shameless won't be as easy to ignore then Jac: I'll help you study if you help me Jac: you were always distractingly beautiful, we were still the perfect team Savannah: so were you, I know you think I wasn't looking, that I didn't want to, but that just isn't true Jac: I know there were Jac: moments Jac: it was just not knowing if they were the same moments for you as they were for me Savannah: as soon I met you I felt like I didn't know anything any more, not to be the level of sure that I thought I needed everything to stay at for my life to make sense Savannah: I was a mess, there's a high probability that I still am Jac: I didn't mean to do that to you Jac: I know you aren't asking for an apology for it or anything Jac: it was the same for me in that I'd not felt that before either Savannah: you didn't do anything, it was my own feelings that turned my world upside down & my own fault that instead of trying to actually deal with it, I decided to fill my world with loads of other things, as if that would force it into being the right way up again Savannah: of course it didn't Jac: I'm not about to blame mine on you either Jac: though you are the only person, girl or boy, that I've been this attracted to, I only mean that as a positive Jac: it was a mess of a time, and there's lots of it I do regret and have learned from, and continue to learn from, hopefully, but I don't regret it all, and don't think we should Savannah: I could never take you saying or feeling that for me as a negative Savannah: & yes, I agree, though I don't think I've done nearly as much learning or growing in these two years as I should've Savannah: which is why I don't want to be a distraction for you, despite the fact that this situation couldn't be more different than anything that happened in Sligo Jac: Me either, I didn't turn into or saint myself in your absence Jac: in certain ways, I got worse, honestly Jac: ways I still haven't dealt with Jac: but you could never be a distraction in the way those things and people were for you Jac: you make me better Jac: I know there were instances where we made each other worse Jac: but is it giving us too much credit to say that was more, the upsidedownness of how our feelings made our lives feel, rather than us being together? Savannah: I guess that the only way we can truly take that credit by earning it now, in being together & doing better Savannah: because our lives are still going to be upside down here, sometimes & maybe even often to start with Jac: I can acknowledge that my life isn't upside down because of this, us, you Jac: not dealing with it, facing it, that was a big part Jac: not all of it, our lives are big and complex and messy, regardless Jac: but denying who I am, what I want, well, it didn't even feel like my life Savannah: if only the guilt I feel began & ended with you, I know I can do things to heal that Savannah: this relationship is the most well functioning one I have, including the relationship I have with myself Jac: I really know what you mean Jac: I've barely communicated with my family since Jac: and even before that, I was never great at it Savannah: I literally have no room to judge, you know the state that my family has been and is currently in Jac: and there are relationships, guilt, I personally feel I'll never be able to erase Jac: it's fitting punishment but still Jac: the only comfort is that Isabelle is doing fine despite it all, despite what I feel I had a massive hand in, even if I didn't do it myself, or know it would be done Savannah: ^^ Savannah: & there's a degree of comfort in all our siblings clearly coping better than us Savannah: not that it would be very difficult to raise the bar there Jac: Seriously Jac: I mean, I try to take comfort in it Jac: not just feel jealous and bitter, not a good look, I know Savannah: me too, even though it also makes my heart sink how my sister viewed me & how far from the truth it was Jac: You didn't just put up the front for yourself, you were protecting her from knowing how you really felt, when there was already so much for her to cope with, even if she did well Jac: which is far better than what I did, not that it's a competition or I'm trying to tell you you did perfectly Savannah: but now that's a dialogue I can never open back up because I was lying Savannah: she can never know that when it's exactly what both our parents did Jac: Never say never Jac: beyond that aphorism, I doubt you know everything about her thoughts and feelings, it's normal to have that barrier at the time Jac: things are easier to discuss after the fact, when you've both got a degree more clarity, removed from the !!! of things when they're happening Jac: as much of a hypocrite as that makes me to say, because I've started no such conversations myself Jac: but Sienna adores you as much as you her, and not because she thinks you're perfect, but because you're her big sister Savannah: we definitely both know that better than most, there's reasons why I deleted every conversation I began with you then & I'm not censoring myself now Savannah: don't worry, I'm not going to insist you have a heart to heart with Jude or any of the others Jac: ^^ Jac: The amount of times I went to say, everything I could possibly say, pour my heart out to you, that that felt like exactly the right thing to do Jac: then had to go distract myself with whatever wrong thing Jac: I have talked to Jesse, a bit Jac: more recently, too Savannah: I'm sorry that the timing was all wrong for me to be able to listen to or express any of it, but I'm ready now, I promise Savannah: for everything you could possibly say Savannah: including that you've told your brother about me Jac: No, it wouldn't have been right to do it that way Jac: like it wasn't right to just, kiss you Jac: it felt it but we weren't ready for any of it, it might seem like I was, just because I knew how I felt about you, but so much else was confused and yeah, it wasn't, I wasn't Jac: you aren't mad? Jac: obviously they've all seen you're here too now Jac: but I've not gone into any kind of meaningful detail with the rest of them Savannah: It's okay, I'm glad you've had someone to talk to Savannah: I know this week has been confusing too, that I must have made it confusing for you Jac: In a good way Jac: obviously, I'm so glad to have you back in my life Jac: I didn't think we'd ever get closure either Jac: and I had more trouble making peace with that than just about anything else Savannah: thank god I didn't go on that gap year Jac: You were thinking about it? Savannah: originally we were going together, Milo & I, so it would've been more of an undertaking to go alone, but I thought you wouldn't want to see me, so Jac: That makes sense Savannah: Putting us in different years was as much distance as I could give you without like uprooting my entire future, it seemed like a good idea Savannah: obviously it therefore stands to reason that my dad said no Jac: Was going to say, surprised your dad agreed to that plan at any point Savannah: he was somewhat distracted by his new girlfriend Jac: Of course Jac: #1 priority 'til you're not Jac: what's Sienna's plan for next year? Savannah: she's struggling to decide which uni she should go to Savannah: maybe she'll take a gap year, that'd be so typical Jac: Yep, Jude and Jameson get away with murder in comparison Savannah: It would unfair even if he was any kind of decent father, but how he believes he can lecture me as things currently are, I have no idea Jac: A lot of people are, not happy to live the mess their life is in, but are happy to be willfully blind to it Jac: it's easier than making changes, especially when you're a part of the problem Savannah: he's called me every day that I've been here, like, we're not bringing this into my new life, thank you Jac: That's too much Jac: designated a day(s) and time and don't answer any other time, he'll have to learn to respect it Savannah: he has literally NO boundaries for someone who shut the door on us & walked away until he was forced to come back in Jac: it's a control thing Jac: but where was his authority when it would have actually benefitted you, re. everything with your mum, why wasn't he laying down the law then? Jac: only when it benefits him and makes him feel better about himself Savannah: exactly, I'm beyond tired of it Savannah: he made those 2 years so much worse than they already would've been Savannah: I'm obviously not going to insist that all the blame for Milo lands squarely on his shoulders but if I had a home that I felt comfortable spending time in, I wouldn't have needed to be at his as often as I was Savannah: which really didn't help me process anything that I should've been Jac: It definitely was a factor Jac: I know how that feels too Jac: not wanting to be home Jac: but not wanting to be out of the house either because that was just as bad in different ways Jac: I see the appeal of having somewhere to be Savannah: I knew you'd understand Savannah: I'm so happy to have you to talk to again Jac: Obviously I don't love that for you, that you had to do that Jac: but I, again, know the feeling Savannah: It's what I've always done, with Ty & you too Savannah: I missed your house the most though, it was my favourite place to land Savannah: even if none of your siblings liked having me there 😄 Jac: Said as if Jude's friends aren't the most annoying people in the world Savannah: there's so many of them Jac: Yeah, she'd invite any old stray home Savannah: that sounds like a caffeine headache to me Savannah: I don't know how she does it Jac: She doesn't do a whole lot of anything else, that's why Savannah: who's she dating? Jac: your guess is as good as mine Savannah: okay, that sounds like an entirely different headache Savannah: at least some things have stayed the same Jac: I wouldn't know, really Jac: it's not like that, me and my siblings Jac: well, it hasn't been Savannah: I'm sorry for how much of that is my fault Savannah: because I hurt you Jac: I'm not going to put all the blame onto your shoulders, either Jac: it isn't Savannah: but I know you & I knew what would happen Savannah: I didn't stop you from shutting down because I wanted everything to stop Savannah: when you kissed me it felt like the world should've, but it didn't Jac: I know Jac: it would've been so much more of a thing for you to go with it, to change what you were, or who you were seen as, at least Savannah: I was so in love with Ty & I wanted it to work so badly but I couldn't do it Savannah: I'd never failed before at something I'd been that determined about Savannah: It sounds so stupid to say at this point Jac: It's not Jac: but you know, I mean, at the risk of making it sound like I thought you were stupid, when it was probably so obvious and you did know Jac: I was trying to get him out the picture Jac: you didn't fail Savannah: if our relationship was strong enough you wouldn't have been able to Savannah: as I said, everything changed when I met you anyway Savannah: he wasn't stupid either Jac: Yeah Jac: as pointless as it is to say how we should've handled it Jac: I want you to know I hold myself accountable for what I clearly shouldn't have done, and you can too Savannah: we all did things that we shouldn't have done Jac: True Savannah: I forgive you and you can forgive yourself too Jac: It's hard, isn't it Jac: not to feel like I was the worst when my intentions are the only ones I can truly know Savannah: yes & I feel it too, all the time Savannah: but I've seen you at what you believe to be your worst & I still love you Jac: I love you too Jac: and forgive you, of course Jac: and anyone else who's forgiveness you need, or you want to be better with, we can work on it together, okay Savannah: okay Savannah: everything happens for a reason, right? I don't want to consider changing it if it means I won't end up here Savannah: painful as things have been & still are Jac: I think so Jac: if I didn't believe in fate before, this would've eradicated any doubt Savannah: tempting as it would be to say that I wish I'd just kissed you back in that hotel room, we might not be here together if I did Savannah: two years is kind of my limit apparently, so far at least 😄 Jac: No pressure, or anything Jac: we have to do at least the four at the same uni so Savannah: okay, you can dump me after that if you insist Jac: It's your turn Jac: and I never would so Savannah: well, I'm never going to leave you Savannah: not again, because technically I already did, which makes it your turn Jac: Okay, looks like we're staying with each other Savannah: if you EVER get here Savannah: I thought you were supposed to be running Jac: You'll have to stop talking, my love 😏 Savannah: you'll have to stop me

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