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peachymilkandcream · 1 year ago

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My Husband, My Monster|Part 5|William Afton x Wife!Reader

(A/N: Just keep in mind for this chapter that the yandere themes are going to be a bit more intense now, if any of you have read my oneshots or even Break Me Slowly, you know a bit of the style of yandere I like to write. Please keep that in mind and reply to this post to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, power imbalanc, age difference, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere themes, yandere behaviours, domestic violence, misogyny, violence, baby trapping, William's a warning himself, etc.

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Her apartment, flimsy and cramped as it was, was quickly moved out of. All her belongings sorted through and the items William deemed unnecessary were promptly discarded. Family heirlooms, childhood memories, things she had come to adore, all throw to the trash because he saw fit to do so. His word was an unbreakable law, and from the violence displayed in their bedroom, she had come to learn the path of least resistance was best. He hadn't hit her or shown any kind of abuse, but in the back of her mind she wasn't so sure that he wouldn't.

A honeymoon was a waste of time and money, their first week as newlyweds was spent in his small but cozy house attempting to deem what of hers would be permitted to fit in the chaos of his work. The extent of his workaholic nature in full force wherever she looked, it looked like he hadn't cleaned in a while, metal and wires scattered throughout various rooms so that if he was overwhelmed by one project he could go to a different room and work on another.

"Isn't this...cozy-" She attempted, all too conscious of the cold metal on her ring finger.

"I'm sure up to the task of cleaning it up, I don't have the time to worry about things like that."

"Oh, well-" She bites her lip to cope with the awkwardness, in reality she still didn't know this man very well. She had only slept with him a handful of times and worked under his leadership. "I guess I won't have to work at Fredbear's anymore-" She ventures with a nervous laugh, trying to break the ice.

"No, you will not. Your place will be here, in my home, seeing to it that everything is in place and taken care of. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, and of course." William places a hand lovingly on her stomach. "Having my children. I'm sure that won't be an issue."

"Children? I thought you didn't have time for kids, and that you wouldn't want more after this."

"Well you thought wrong now didn't you. It's your place to have children so why wouldn't I want you to have as many as I see fit?"

"I..I don't know if I want anymore-"

In an instant his hand sho out and slapped her across the cheek, leaving her to hold it, daze and full of shock.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

She frowns, not particularly caring for this kind of aggression. "Shouldn't I get a say as the one who carries the damn things?"

Anger rises in William, this little spark of defiance something he didn't like in the least. "Watch your tone or I'll give you some real discipline to cry about."

"Discipline? I'm not a child."

He suddenly grabs her arms. "Well you sure know how to act like a brat." He pulls her down onto the couch over his lap, she pushes to get up when he delivers a spank to her rear, making her gasp in surprise.

She tries to gain some kind of traction to pull herself off of his lap, but the fabric of his pants make her slip so she remains bent over in utter humiliation. His hand continues to come down on her rear, the sting turning into a dull ache as he continued. His punishment was thorough, lifting her skirt to admire the welts.

His assault continues until eventually his fingers penetrate her wet cunt, how her body had allowed itself to be turned on by this aggression was beyond her. However the change from violence to the feeling of being full was much welcome.

William's fingers pumped in and out of her at a steady pace, whether her walls tightened to push him out or to pull him in she didn't know. The slickness between her thighs was growing, which is all she could comprehend, that and the tightness growing in the pit of her stomach.

He felt it too, the way she clamped so hard on his digits made him smirk in approval, her rebellion wouldn't last long under his iron rule. Now he had the authority and the position where she couldn't leave or talk back, those ridiculous ideas and the waste of time she was spewing out would end right here and right now. This wasn't going to happen, not on his watch.

When she was on the verge of climaxing he withdrew completely from her, her tearful eyes finding his in disappointment and disbelief.

"Show me you regret bitching to me maybe I'll let you cum."

There was a pause, pride on the line and needing to be swallowed for the sake of something so carnal and wouldn't last forever, but damn did she need it.

She unbuckled his pants and peeled back the layers of clothing, quickly hopping on his dick and sliding him all the way home. Riding him had become second nature to her, he preferred to sit back and make someone else do the work, and she found a way for him to feel the deepest and for the ride to be the most pleasant.

While they didn't know much about each other personally, they knew about what William demanded and the tone he set in all things intimate. She rode him fast and hard, his thumb pressed firmly against her clit so she rubbed against it with each thrust of her hips.

She could never last long, the familiar feeling reaching throughout her whole body and then down to her toes as she went over the edge. Where she came he was never far behind, filling her and letting the cum spill out of her and onto his hips.

They were both sweating and breathing hard as they came down from their high. Her hands were firmly on his shoulders and she kissed his bearded cheek.

"It isn't so hard to obey now is it?"

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William kept her busy and fucked out of her mind most days. The house had slowly been turned into a home, the clutter and dirt slowly disappearing as she cleaned. She had barely time to unpack anything aside from basic clothes and toiletries, whenever she did have a chance to unpack things of memory and sentiment William always found a way to convince her they didn't need it, throwing it out. All of her tears shed over those precious things being purged from her life was attested to pregnancy hormones, and that she was being overdramatic.

And while the circumstances were anything but desirable, she had to admit she enjoyed being pregnant. There was a deep sense of nurturing and love that she felt whenever her stomach looked larger or she and William felt the baby kick. It could have been with someone else, a younger, much more loving husband, but William was enough for her. He had shown her kindness and love when no one else had, he would be a great man to raise her child. Everything would work out in the end, she was sure.

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Despite all of the books she'd read and all the advice she'd heard, nothing could have prepared her for the actual experience of bringing a life into the world. The pain was nothing like anyone described, the emotions, fears, and blood, all the blood.

William was at her side the whole time, never once leaving or stepping out. Although while she was expecting sympathy and comfort, he was level-headed and practical about the whole thing. Talking about it like it was just another medical procedure that he had read about and not the birth of his only child. But he was so busy, how could she expect him to be any different? She couldn't be selfish now.

It seemed like an eternity, that it would never end unless the thing coming out of her ripped her in half. But William told her it hadn't been as long as he'd been expecting, and that she pulled through well and hopefully would for their future children. Or as he said, his future children.

In her opinion, the person who went through the carrying of the thing for nine months plus the labour should reserve the right to name it but William informed her that wasn't the case. It wouldn't have been possible without him after all so he should have something to contribute. And that's how their son came to be, how he made his mark in his brand new world.

Little Micheal Afton, their pride and joy.

Tags:

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@fandomreader

@n3r0-1417

@2pacl0ve

#william afton smut #william afton x reader #william afton #william afton x you #steve raglan #steve raglan x reader #steve raglan x oc #steve raglan x you #five nights at freddys #fnaf #fnaf movie #purple guy #five nights at freddys movie #my husband my monster

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multidimensionalguidance · 1 year ago

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What do the signs need to know for this solar eclipse season?

Hello everyone! As you may or may not know, there will be a Solar Eclipse occuring on April 8th! so of course I'm coming through with a tarot + astrology reading for all the signs during this amazingly chaotic times. I truly hope these insights can aid all of you navigate the energy we have (and will continue to encounter) until May comes along with Jupiter in Taurus to release the tension a bit.

Read for your sidereal ASC, Moon, and Sun in that exact order!

Aries: queen of swords, five of cups, and three of pentacles

Okay so, you folks will be on a really analytical mindset, specially those with prominent feminine energy (regardless of gender). there's a lot of mental clarity, logical, and strategic energies coming your way which you will fully embody. You will become aware of your sorrows, sadness, and things you may regret in regards to coworkers or individuals with whom you collaborated in the past. You or someone else with Air placements (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) could be feeling sad, at a loss, regretting, or crying over spilled milk in regards to a third party situation or collaboration that didn't go as expected.

You will be experiencing these feelings and energy in isolation and hidden from the public, where your emotions are not seen for what they truly are. To others you might seem cold or unmoving, but in reality, you are simply experiencing a lot within you right now. It is okay to feel your feelings, recognize the ways in which your emotions could cause you to self-sabotage, and seek support from others if needed. If someone hurt you in the past, know that this is just another lesson to learn from and those feelings of guilt or shame do not need to sit within you longer than necessary. Even if the situation might seem a bit grim now, there's still a lot to save and salvage. Allow this time to be for spiritual growth and self-reflection. Reassess your priorities and choose what's truly important for you.

Taurus: the hanged man, the star, and eight of wands

You guys are or were at a sort of standstill, reevaluation process, or feeling stuck in a situation for a while. But now, with the upcoming energetic flow you will be able to see things from a different perspective, and give spiritual space within you to see all the possible sides with ease. The incredibly good news is that hope is no longer around the corner, instead, it is heading at full speed towards you. You are or will be finally seeing the other side and genially feeling more hopeful about your current trajectory. What's coming for you its like a fallen star, quick, bright, but with a twist of long lasting results. What you must do now is simply letting go and trusting that things are developing for the best possible outcome, because regardless of what you think communication will be heading your way.

There will finally be movement and you will feel like things are progressing once and for all. At the end of this season, it won't just be a light at the end of the tunnel, but rather a full scenery of the journey ahead. You will just simply feel more lucky, and hopeful that things will be gaining traction. There's an odd yet blissful sense of peace that is quickly arriving towards you. A burden that will be released because you're finally making space for the old to be left behind. These news might come from social media, your friends or networking group.

Gemini: ten of pentacles, nine of cups, and four of cups

Allll right, okay, okay. You guys are seriously on the money train right now, like, hardcore. There are huge achievements, financial rewards, and material satisfactions that you will be experiencing soon. You are entering a period of genuine happiness, sense of accomplishment, and luck even if there's still (or might continue to be) a small sense of apathy towards it, so make sure you're not blinding yourself to what's right in front of you. Just know that even if you might not miss it entirely, you could end up not enjoying it as much as you should because of old emotional matters.

Sit down in solitude and contemplate on the fact that you will receive a good luck strike soon when it comes to the material world, which is amazing considering that you could have come from surviving many situations of deep financial troubles in the previous months. Family matters will be good as well, and you will get to enjoy good times with them as well. Perhaps you were sitting on a gold mine, yet not realizing it completely until now.

Overall, your professional life will be highlighted and full of possibilities. Just make sure you don't let your ego get out of control after being put under the spotlight. Let your achievements and own efforts speak for themselves, there's no need to prove anything to anyone but yourself.

Cancer: ten of pentacles, queen of swords, and four of swords

It seems that Gemini is not the only one that's running into wealth, material satisfaction, and having an "IT girl" moment when it comes to their worldly achievements. The main difference is that you will handle it with a very clear and no bs type of mindset, and with an emphasis on wanting to relax, unwind, rest, meditate and going more within but in a very luxurious way (at least in comparison to previous months). You might do some solo traveling or just traveling overall with the purpose of enjoying the success of your hard work. The things that you have been manifesting for your financial goals are coming through, and you will finally take a much needed step back to recharge. You will enjoy the fruits of the efforts you've made thus far, but make sure to stay flexible to handle any challenges that could come your way. You will soon be focusing entirely on your career, public matters, and enjoying an expansion in your long term investments or gains. Keep a healthy balance between mind and heart!

Leo: the empress, the hermit, and ace of pentacles rx

Although there is this energy of abundance, luxury, and worldly pleasures that are definitely coming your way, you will also have to experience a period of introspection, solitude, and reflection. It will mostly be in regards to the ways you've been or could be acting greedy by encouraging splurging, or taking risky financial decisions. Financial wisdom is very much needed to survive the upcoming energies ahead. You will go deep within to think of the opportunities that you could have missed, and the ways you didn't plant seeds that would be flourishing now in the present.

Even if you have the ability to nurture and make anything you touch bloom, you must be careful to not encourage thorns, weeds, and undesirable plants to ruin your usually beautiful and kept garden. There could also be a hidden pregnancy that occurs and creates some minor financial delays or losses, so be mindful of that. You might be going real ghost mode for a while due to dealing with certain shady dealings or situations that will simply keep you from spending as much as you usually do.

There was something you ignored or became apathetic towards in the past, a proof of genuine love or a beginning that has set the wheels of karma/destiny to spin. A change of course has or will be set into action soon, and the only way to handle it properly is by tuning into your spiritual side. Be transparent and open not just with yourself, but with your loved ones as well. No one can take away your ability to look and act like the queen/king you are, but even royalty need a reality check from time to time.

Virgo: queen of swords, page of pentacles, and ten of cups

My beautiful Te Fiti's, I see that a lot of you will be putting all of your mental focus towards a new financial opportunity that has landed on your lap (well freaking deserved!) and that will be providing with an immense feeling of abundance, satisfaction, and emotional fulfillment. This is a moment you had been waiting for a while now, and although there's a feeling of novice or feeling like a "noob" that comes with it, you are more than ready to take on whatever the challenge might be. You will know exactly how to deal with it in a very cool headed way, and your words will also convey the same. You're not in the mood for any tomfoolery, just money and all the good stuff that the universe is sending your way. Family matters will be very good as well, so just continue on doing whatever you're doing because its looking great!

There will continue to be a focus on relationships and opportunities to deepen them as long as you're able to stay judgment free and exercising your emotional intelligence. Perhaps these connections will be with an Air sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius). Allow yourself to celebrate love, joy, and even the challenges, for nothing will cloud your mind at this moment. You've already gone through the worst of it, and anything that might still feel like an obstacle will be cleared from your path.

Libra: four of swords, queen of swords, page of pentacles

A very similar reading to Virgos, but with a twist. You are very much on your waters during this period, but it will only come after a much needed break occurs. A full stop that will allow you to lay back, contemplate, or meditate into how you can get your gears back to moving as usual towards the financial goals you've had planned for the first quarter of this year. The opportunities will be there, but they will only be noticeable once you pull back your energy from everyone and focus on recovering your own instead. It had been a few months where you were not feeling 100% back into your usual strategic, confident, assured ways, and this was partially holding you back from discovering the ways to manifest as comfortably as usually did before.

Make sure to pay attention to your health and daily routines as they will be key for getting your habits and work back in order. You deserve a balanced and healthy lifestyle, so focus on the small details that might be keeping you away from enjoying it. You got this!

Scorpio: four of pentacles, strength, and five of cups rx

Let me start by saying the first thing I noticed was 555 while doing this reading, so you already know that change is not only coming towards you but this eclipse will definitely facilitate it. You will be experiencing a period of compassion and gentleness towards the ways you may have not to been extending yourself some much needed forgiveness or radical acceptance. You've been really hard on yourself, as usual, but have now finally comprehended the root of this behavior. You act this way because that's the treatment you've received from others as well, and overtime, this made you develop the well known defensive tactics everyone is aware of, not for the sake of hurting, but for self preservation.

It is okay to admit that you've been scared, anxious, and tired for a while. All of that have led you to realizing that in order to overcome those heavy feelings, you must develop radical inner love and peace within you. A hope that moves mountains. An ability to accept, forgive, and move on. You are ready to tame your inner beast, which will soon roar strongly within you. It is completely normal to hold onto the things that are dear to us, but not too much that we're unwilling to move forward.

There is an emphasis on someone with Leo placements or this energy being very active in your chart during this upcoming period. Have the courage to say out loud "it's okay, I don't have control of everything and I'm fine with it. I have the courage to overcome my own mental self limitations." Creativity and romance is awaiting, and if you trust yourself, there will be plenty of joy surrounding your connections.

Sagittarius: king of cups, the tower, and the emperor

First hand, the reading gave me a "bachelor/ette times are over!". You were trying to be in a very suave, balanced, and generous mindset during the beginning of this eclipse season, but there will be a sudden change and rude awakening that will come towards you. This will occur surrounding your own idea of what masculine energy is and how it functions within you (regardless of gender). It will bring a strong shake towards the structures you've built and the illusion of power that you've used to stay in that "going with the flow" type of mentality. The universe wants to have a reality check, and set you back on your feet to where your real power lays.

You deserve to get a real taste of success, and enjoy that "big d*ck" energy that sits deep within you. Even if the process throws you down and makes your reevaluate many things in a harsh way, just know you will come out of it walking out of it like a literal "king". You've been wanting it anyways, so in technicality, this will be the results of what you've been manifesting for a while now. No more la la land, just straight serious business with no beating around the bush. You're turning from a laid back i-don't-mind-anything mindset to a time to get shit done. Bare to minimum emotions, just full blown cold hard logic. But again, this is what you had been desiring deep down.

You will get a real taste of how far you can get and how much authority you can truly get to wield. Accept the chaos, and embrace that order that comes afterward. Ready or not, it is here.

Capricorn: page of wands, six of pentacles, and the sun

You will be receiving or giving some sort of financial generosity or kindness. This could either come/go towards a foreigner or fire sign that you meet while traveling/exploring a place. There is a strong feeling of joy, positivity, and success coming your way during this eclipse season. You could travel somewhere warm or be dealing with an individual that comes from such regions. This will be a time for exploring your creativity, and choosing to happily extend it towards others because it just feels right. There's a journey you will be embarking on that makes you feel giddy, and it is that feeling that will continue to attract positive financial situations towards you.

After all, its not all about just you taking responsibilities that are uncomfortable and difficult to deal with, there's also the ones that you take upon yourself with a full smile. You also deserve to be taken care of and provided. Allow others to nurture you, and watch it all unfold in the best way possible. Trust that the universe is leading towards a path where you will encounter like-minded individuals, and leisurely enjoy the big and small pleasures that life is throwing your way. Exercise moderation and good dose of empathy!

Aquarius: seven of wands, knight of cups, three of swords rx

Time to step your foot down and handle the challenges or obstacles that are coming towards you with a lot of healing and forgiving energy. A sort of "kill them with kindness" situation. You might feel the need to defend yourself from individuals who might be approaching with a desire to bring clarity or mending wounds in regards of past affairs. You can choose to react or respond. This will be a period for you to heal, receive full clarity about previous wounds, and look into the opportunities (romantic or creative) that will let you release and release those wounds once and for all.

If the person comes bearing no ill will, do not choose to retaliate just to gain an upper hand or to win, instead, allow them to express themselves freely, and then let go with love and peace. Do not run from the situations that could arrive to help you further your healing journey, even when they justifiably trigger your desire to avoid it all together. Some faces will remind you of familiar wounds, but instead of coming with more pain, they can come with solutions. Do not engage into any degree of negative self-talk, as this will only cloud your judgment.

Remember you're not the same person you were 6 months or a year ago, and even if this situation comes sudden and sort of unexpected, you are more than ready to handle it. No one will take away your peace. Pay attention to the things that other people can do which reminds you of old triggers, specially towards your values or resources. Your self worth is being highlighted, and you are within your right to protect it. Stay financially smart by planning ahead and embracing a mindset of abundance.

Pisces: the devil rx, queen of cups rx, ten of wands rx

Ou! This reading really said, YOU are the main character for this eclipse season, Pisces. You are on the verge of a break-through or an up-levelling, but first, you must let go of any unhealthy attachments or limiting beliefs that may hold you back. It may be an addiction, unhealthy relationships, or a disengaging career. This period will help you confront your inner fears and anxieties to free yourself from the chains that bind you to your limiting beliefs and unhealthy attachments. It may be about creating a healthier diet, less social media, quitting smoking, spending more time with your loved ones, or focusing more on your goals.

There is a strong focus on letting go of situations that emotionally drain you a lot. There is a need to set firm boundaries and let others know that you are not willing to take on their emotional baggage. Allow them to learn how to be more responsible for their feelings and life experience, after all, they also need to go on their own journey to learn how to cope. It seems that you are simply trying to do too much by yourself, and in your effort to be everything to everyone, you have found yourself struggling under the weight of it all. Delegate and share the work – you don’t have to do it alone. Be firm in saying no to the things you know you can’t take on.

Extra card for Pisces for "what can aid them navigate these moments": 10 of cups!

The support you need is already with you, just accept it and let go of those feelings that keep you thinking you must figure it all out on your own. There are people who drain you, and people who want to support you! Focus on the latter, and allow the rest to navigate their own waters. At the moment, you're going through a lot of meaningful changes that will help you prosper, but bottling things up inside and thinking you have to handle it all without asking for help can become detrimental. Use the energy of this eclipse to release and seek warm within the arms of those who make you feel safe, secure, and loved. Your family, relationship, or desires for long term emotional fulfillment are with you already, just let them in.

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animentality · 1 year ago

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Did they get a postive response from adding those Gortash lines? I thought a bunch of people hateing on it instead? Also what if they removed the lines to change them a go a diffrent direction. I'm sorry. I have a lot of worry they wont do something I agee with.

The overwhelming reaction was positive. Durgetash artists went on Twitter to celebrate, and the small but passionate fans of the ship went nuclear here and on Twitter, and helped BG3 trend, yada yada, tale as old as time.

Most people don't care about Durgetash or Gortash. The majority of people you hear from would be the people who like both of those things. It's also a small ship.

The haters of that ship are even smaller in comparison, because the hand that reaches out will always touch more than the hand clenched into a fist.

And the only "legitimate" complainers, who don't just dislike the ship on principle, are the whiners who keep insisting their durges are lesbians, and how dare Larian "force" them into a relationship with a man - which is literally not what Larian did.

No one bitches about how Gale's ORIGIN completely precludes him from being gay.

I see no reason why you can't similarly have Durge's ORIGIN make them attracted to men. Or, you know. Enver is special.

Oh. And also. It's so fucking platonic, if you want it to be. Stop being stupid and just say you don't like Durgetash. It's as easy as that.

Stop using "lesbophobic" as a handy label for your self righteous soapbox. You just don't like the ship, and that's fine. It's FINE. But acting like Durgetash is lesbophobic - oh, go play a Tav.

And also, Astarion and Gale and Wyll better not flirt with you in game, even though you can tell them to fuck off, or else they're lesbophobic too.

That's the only discourse that gained traction on Twitter. As far as I know.

If Larian had made Gale wear blackface or something, and people got pissed, then yeah. They'd back up on that, and get rid of it pronto.

But Durgetash???

Aside from the general evil antics, they're not that fucking controversial of a ship.

Most people don't even PLAY the Dark Urge.

I don't know how to stress this any other way...

People act like Durgetashers are loud - we're honestly not that loud.

Astarion fans are far louder, and yet, the most romanced companion is SHADOWHEART and then Laezel and KARLACH.

He's not even in the top 3. And yet, he dominates the content on Twitter and Tumblr... he's definitely more popular than Gortash or the Dark Urge or Durgetash together...but his fans are still technically the damn minority.

So Durgetash in comparison to Starries???

Infinitesimal.

And Durgetash haters?

Would be even smaller.

So what I'm saying is...

I'm kind of tired of answering asks about this.

I don't KNOW for certain whether or not this is Larian backing up or walking forward, and while I don't believe they'd walk back on this, and especially not for a handful of people, it kind of annoys me to even think about things outside of my control.

now if Larian makes a big grand statement and says actually we totally rescind something WE WROTE AND ADDED TO THE GAME because some people got mad...then I'll call them cucks, and complain.

But as of right now?

As far as I know personally, and assume in my heart... it's neutral.

The lines are probably just bugged. Also, not ALL of them are bugged either, so.

Please stop freaking out, guys.

I am the world's biggest resident durgetash freak, and I'm shrugging at this, and just saying it's a bug.

Don't let it bother you. It's out of your control, regardless.

(And I stress again - if we find out they're legitimately backing away from something they did...they have the spine of a ham sandwich. But until we know that for sure, I won't condemn them for this, because as far as we know, it is legitimately an accident.)

#durgetash #please stop asking me about this #i dont know what you want from me #i just dont think theyre walking back on it #peartree was totally different #after this addition too #even if they do alter lines i just believe its still going to be durgetash coded anyway #although if theyre changing them so soon lmao cuz theyre embarrassed and want to make them a little less #idk cheesy maybe #then damn larian you have no self esteem #stick to your fucking guns #dont you stand by your own writing at all #stop letting fans change how you write #grow a fucking spine #if youre gonna add durgetash then add durgetash #if youre gonna remove it then go ahead and be a bitch and remove the only character you bothered to give gortash #but dont sneak back and try to edit shit that you already sent out #but also im sorry if its just a hotfix bug #then this is me being mean for no reason and i apologize

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miracleandplagueau · 2 years ago

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First batch of chapters revealed! ✦✦✦ Miracle and Plague

Someone asked me If I was going share them a LONG time ago, but I've had other projects to focus on + tumblr has been unbearable recently with their shitty changes (besides I totaly did not forget), but I'm finally revealing the first 1/3 of the story. The least chaotic part :)

By the way, things may change while I fully write those things out, but this is the rough outline of how I want Miracle and Plague to go. As you can see, there are a few episodes moved from the season 2 to here in order to establish new characters or set up something for the future without stretching the episodes to 5 seasons hehe

I'd be glad to answer a thing or two about the specific episodes If someone would be interested :) At least in regards to this part, because the future ones will be much more spoilery haha

⇽-------------------------‹ ☯ ›-------------------------⇾

"Season 1" is more or less a section filled with of introductions and preparations for future arcs and heavier development such as Chloe's road to redeeming herself, Adrien rebelling against his father's mistreatment and Gabriel's slow descend from being just a disruption to Paris' everyday lives to straight up mass destruction and disorder just to get what he wants.

⇽-------------------------‹ ☯ ›-------------------------⇾

[1] Heartstone [Origins | Part 1]

Jiayi Dupan-Cheing and Adrien Agreste are on their way to their school on the first day of September before something breaks out in the middle of class - a monster. Everyone is evacuated as the creatures wrecks havoc upon Paris. Arriving to their homes, they find something that has not been there before.

[2] Wonderbug and Chat Noir [Origins | Part 2]

After Heartstone's first defeat, the plague of infectious butterflies appears and continues to spread through fearsome residents of Paris. Unfortunately for Jiayi, only her and her new partner can stop the villain from destroying the city of love.

[3] Stormy weather

Despite the success of stopping the "first big wave", the butterflies seem to have no intention of disappearing. To make the matters worse, they have found themselves a new target - an unfulfilled weather girl, humiliated in front of everyone.

[4] Mr. Pigeon

A new local fashion contest have caught Jiayi's attention and she's detemined to add it to her long list of "jobs well done". Meanwhile, a old pigeon fanatic continues to fight with the law to aid his companions in need.

[5] The Bubbler

Despite Adrien's birthday coming up, Gabriel is too busy managing his job and the new secret hobby. However, Nino will not stand for it and fights for his best friend's happiness. Who would've thought that clashing with a highly successful entrepreneur won't end nicely?

[6] Lady Wifi

Alya's new hero blog gains MUCH popularity and with it, fuels Alya's fascination with the idenitites of Paris' masked fighters. She discovers Chloe's secret hobby, which in turn gets her suspended from school until further notice.

[7] Refekta

It's time for class photo shoot and Juleka is nervous about her bad luck with those events. As she predicted, things go south with Chloe being unsatisfied about her position in the photo and prevents Juleka for being in the photo at all.

[8] Horrificator

The class is working on a short movie for a small festival, but a certain person is extremely dissatisfied with her role in the creation of it. Disrupting the filming, Chloe causes one of the lead actors to become akumatized and trap the class in a hyper-realistic version of the movie itself.

[9] Copycat

With the heroes of Paris gaining more traction, one of the local sculptors creates a stunning piece as a tribute to Wonderbug and Chat Noir. However, one of the heroes doesn't show up which greatly disappoints the artist.

[10] Timebreaker

Alix is racing Kim as a challenge and Jiayi is put in charge of creating the banner. Meanwhile, Alix is given a precious family heirloom and passes it over to Alya for safekeeping. Things go terribly wrong and the clock end up in the severs, presumably damaged as well.

[10] The Evilustrator

One of Jiayi's classmates seems to have a big crush on her, but what he doesn't realize is that she isn't very interested. As the day goes on, Nathaniel ends up getting humiliated by Chloe who exposes the contents of his sketchbook to everyone.

[11] The mime

[Work in progress; changing the sub-plot of the episode]

[12] The Pharaoh

Alya drags Jiayi to the museum after hearing that the study of Ancient Egipt seem to have been connected to the heroes of Paris. As the progress further into the exibit, both heroes discover something new about the boxes that arrived along with their magical artifacts.

[13] Gamer

Max is entering a gaming contest and proudly prokes his classmates to fight with him in the game itself. Unfortunately for him, Adrien beats him easily and as per the dare's rules, now is the one entering the contest in Max's place. What he doesn't say out loud is that it wasn't his intetion to do so, but when Jiayi convinces him to tell the truth, It's already a bit too late.

[14] Captain Hardlock

Juleka, Rose and others wish to pursue a small side project by creating their own band. Meanwhile, an old friend of Jiayi sails back into Paris in order to assist his sibling with some expertise on the subject. Unfortunately, there's one more family member that can't help, but stick his nose where he shouldn't.

[15] Scarabella [Part 1]

With different events, contests piling up and management of the two sides of her life being too hard to control, Jiayi is completely burnt out and exhausted. Despite the warnings from her friends and family, she overworks herself completely and is unable to fulfill her duty as a hero. In this case, she decides to try and repeat what she did the first time she received the magical earrings - pass the identity to her trusted friend, at least for the time being. Yet Monarch notices the shift in the dynamic and decides to seize the opportunity.

[16] Huli Jing [Part 2]

Noticing that her partner and friend are at a much bigger risk than initally anticipated, Jiayi runs to Master Fu for help. Meanwhile, as the two face against the revealed villain, a new friend appears to assist them in an escape.

[17] Befana

After the events of Scarabella, Jiayi finally promises to take a small break and be more careful with the amount of work she takes on. Unfortunately for her, the news of the winning contestant fainting on stage has spread all over and took the attention of someone who Jiayi wishes she never had to face again. Just in time for her own birthday as well.

[18] Antibug

Seeing two separate ladybug heroes in action, Chloe becomes much persistent and brave, always running to where the villain is in order to assist the heroes. As expected, nothing good comes out of it. Eventualy, her best friend Sabrina gets akumatized as a result of her actions and a chain of events ensues...

[19] Glaciator

Chat Noir decides to invite Wonderbug to a little date, but doesn't seem to be taking a hint. In the meantime, Ague the Ice-Cream man goes through a major crisis that puts a target on his back.

[20] Zombiezou

It's teacher appreciation day at our heroes' school and coincidentally also their favorite teacher's birthday! All of classmates have prepared a little something, except for Chloe. Her excuses only wreck more disorder among the class which attracts the attention of a certain someone.

[21] Guitar Villain

After noticing Jiayi's work for his daughter's band, Jagged Stone commissions her to create a cover for his brand new album. As per the entertainment industry however, his rival and manager seem very eager to rob him of his original approach to rock n roll.

[22] Gigafan

With news of real life superheroes spreading across the globe, many tourists come by only to see Wonderbug and Chat Noir in action. One of those people is especially unbearable and persistent in having Wonderbug notice her presence.

[23] Rogercop

It's bring your parent to school day and quite literally NOTHING goes according to plan. Chloe wrecks havoc upon every single classmate of hers when her priced bracelet goes missing, including her close friend.

[24] Volpina

Just as Jiayi thought that Lila only came in to reconcile, she could not be more wrong as she pops back up again and wrecks more chaos, putting her in many uncomfortable situations. Just as you'd think she was done for, she accepts Monarch's call and begins to disrupt the lives of everyone in Paris.

⇽-------------------------‹ ☯ ›-------------------------⇾

REMOVED EPISODES + REASONING:

Princess Fragrance -- The villain is great overall, but the circumstances of meeting Master Fu for the first time have changed significantlya and Its nothing but a filler

The Puppeteer - Not only does it not include any important lore (except for introducing Navia from the TV network), but also Jiayi is not going to be a babysitter

Pixelator - Cool episode, but filler and exposition only

The Collector - Not possible with changes in power system, concept used for something else in the future

Animan - Filler with focus on Alya and Nino

Kung Food - Filler where Chloe is just showing what a bitch she is

⇽-------------------------‹ ☯ ›-------------------------⇾

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #au #miraculous fanworks #miraculous au #miraculous #miracle and plague #miraculous ladybug au #miraculous rewrite #miraculous salt #mlb salt

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whumping-valentine · 10 months ago

Text

🦌 Fawn and Hunter - Part 14 🦌

"The Apocalypse"

Content: ??? Idk this is kinda tame. Nothing whumpy happens. I suppose Stockholm syndrome and captivity, mayhaps. Oh also people die but that's whatever lolll.

3,200 words

Hey y'all, it's time for part 14! I meant to get this out like over a week ago now but I got distracted by drawing because I'm trying a new art style and am absolutely obsessed with it.

Since I've gotten lots of followers since the last part's release, here's the Masterlist if you wanna read it!

As always, I apologize for my writing quality 😓

Enjoy! 🛸

Severin's adaptation to werewolf life in a cult was difficult and surreal, to say the least. Not to mention scary. No one had yet realized he wasn't actually a part of the pack, though some have commented on his unfamiliar smell. The trio assured them he'd been here for a while now. Agnes and Anthony's rank was enough to keep them from prying any further.

The good news was none of this speculation had gotten back to Ethel. If she heard of the suspicions and wanted to check it out for herself, Severin would be a goner. Surely she'd also figure out her two top dogs were behind it, too. That wouldn't be good for anyone.

They've made it by for a week now, and news was starting to circulate around Severin's spacecraft…

-----

“I'm here at the sight of the crash in the small town of Woodmar. An apparent UFO has wrecked in the middle of the woods. Authentic, or hoax? Let's find out.” A news reporter spoke. She and the cameraman inspected the wreckage while commentating.

By now, it had run out of power, so none of the technology worked. While the craft might have been able to be explained away as an art project, the destruction it left in its wake didn't have the same level of excusability. As soon as this story got out, it was sure to gain traction all over the internet. It was the most definitive proof of extraterrestrial life the world had ever seen, and it was right here, up close and personal.

Both the reporter and cameraman got noticeably more excited and scared as they inspected. It got harder and harder to pass off as anything other than the truth of what it was: a UFO. The two of them talked about how they wished it was a live broadcast instead of a pre-recording, they wanted the world to see this immediately!

In the middle of the reporter's sentence, the microphone's signal was unexpectedly cut off, and the camera stopped working completely. The two inspected their devices, unaware of the creatures who stalked them from behind the trees.

In an instant, both the reporter and the cameraman were shot dead.

A pair of aliens emerged from behind the bushes, guns in hand as they approached the human corpses. They looked down on them in scorn before inspecting the ship.

“Oh, of course." One of the aliens groaned, "You know who's ship this is? It's Severin's!”

“I always knew he wasn't cut out for this." The other shook their head, "Should we tell The Council?”

“No, of course not. We cannot let them know someone has already fumbled the mission, they will think poorly of us all. It's not good that the humans are already suspicious of our plans. We need them to be oblivious, at least for a little while longer.”

“What do you suggest we do?”

“There is not anything that we need to do. It wasn't a live broadcast. All we need to do is destroy the camera, and the evidence is gone. By the time the news station realizes the reporters they sent are missing, it'll be too late. We won't need to hide anymore.”

“We’re already here, aren’t we? We’re already infiltrating. It’ll only take a few days now before we have control over this pathetic planet. By the time The Council arrives to survey, the human race will already be enslaved and ready to serve the Empire.”

“I sure hope so.” they said, "So long as the fuck up doesn't fuck it up anymore than they already have..."

----

Hunter let out a sigh as they awoke, groaning as they stretched their arms, bones cracking.

“You sure slept in.” Fawn mumbled, already wide awake, sitting with their hands cupping their head, “Though maybe it’s 8 am and I’m the one up early. Who knows.”

“Mm. You sound depressed.” Hunter mumbled, “It's day 40, you know? Hooray, give it up for day 40!” They cheered sarcastically.

Fawn sighed and rubbed their face, “Oh, human life is so short. I can't believe I'm wasting away my precious days trapped here doing nothing! My precious, sweet young days! Why couldn't it have been when I'm older, at least then my glory days would've been behind me!”

Hunter chuckled, though it was more sad, “Glory days are a myth. Don't worry about your youth. Some people peak early, others late, and some not at all. Some people die before their good days. Some never had a chance in the first place.”

“Yeah, because people like you took it away from them.”

“I know.” Hunter said, though it wasn't remorseful nor regretful. It was simply an admission, or acknowledgement. “I won't pretend to be a good person. I'm not. Though… I do wish I could've done things differently.”

“What, you expect me to feel sympathy for you, or something?”

“No, of course not. I'm not looking for pity, I don't want pity. I'm just stating how I feel. How you feel about that in return is up to you, I don't fucking care.”

“Really? Because it sure sounds like you do.”

Hunter sighed, “Look… this isn't easy for me to say, but I'll finally tell the truth for once. I like you, Fawn. Well, not romantically or anything like that, but I… I enjoy your company.”

Fawn wasn't sure how to respond to that.

“Jesus, I say something sentimental for once in my life and you look at me like I'm insane.”

“Well…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m already insane.”

“You’re a murderer.”

“I know.”

Neither spoke another word.

One of the members walked into view with two plates of food.

“Oh, day 41, even better!” Hunter said. The member placed the plates on the floor, before introducing themself sheepishly.

“Um… hi. My name is Severin. I'm… from space?” He said, awkwardly pointing upwards.

“You're an alien?” Fawn questioned.

“Shh, not so loud! I'm… not supposed to be here. I'm planning on leaving soon... with… two of my friends. They told me they wanted you to come with us.”

“What, the two people who took us here in the first place? And now they’re making you do the risky job of getting us out? Yeah, friends that I’d definitely trust.”

“You don’t understand- ugh- look, do you want out or not?”

“Of course I do! Are you kidding me?”

Severin unlocked the door, “Then follow me and stay quiet.”

Fawn's eyes widened. Oh, this was happening fast. They quickly, yet cautiously with suspicion, stepped out of the cell. Hunter hopped to their feet to follow.

“Can we leave this one here?” Fawn whispered. Hunter folded their arms, and Severin shook his head before hurriedly rushing both of them out.

He snuck them up the stairs where Anthony and Agnes were waiting to help keep cover. The three acted like a shield, even though there wasn't anyone else around. Agnes and Anthony had managed to get them to leave the area due to their height on the hierarchy. They'd said Ethel wanted them for something. Once that was figured out a lie, it'd be over for them.

Ethel will surely find out about all of this and won't be pleased in the slightest, but the twins made their decision to leave no matter the cost. Once a nice distance away, Agnes and Anthony took off their masks, heaving a sigh of relief.

Agnes had long dark brown hair that looked choppy and uneven. Freckles lined her face, her eyes were tired and grey.

Anthony had short light brown hair, that was a slight bit lengthy and very, very messy. Just like Agnes he too had freckles.

“Oh, wow. You guys look… normal.” Fawn said.

“Huh? Why?” Agnes questioned, “What did you think we looked like?”

“I dunno, like werewolves, I guess.”

“What do you mean ‘like werewolves’?”

“I don’t know, like all hairy, or something.”

“Is that racist?” Anthony asked.

“I don’t know, you’re the werewolf, you tell me!”

“Listen,” Agnes said, changing the subject, “We may be out, but we aren't safe, and we never will be. Anthony and I were Ethel's top members, when she realizes we're gone, she's gonna come and find us. Especially once she and the rest of the pack also notice the humans are missing, and we gave them false directions, and then the rest of the whole Apocalypse stuff…”

“So… what do we do now?” Fawn asked.

Anthony shrugged, “I dunno. Try to survive, I guess.”

“We need some kind of plan.” Agnes said, “Ethel will find us, and she'll be angry.”

“And the other invaders have to know I've messed up badly by now…” said Severin.

Fawn clasped their hands together, “Welp, it sure sucks to be you guys. See ya!”

Agnes scoffed and folded her arms, “Do you really think you're safe? You and your friend here are more screwed than we are.”

“W- okay, first of all, they're not my friend, and secondly… I'm still leaving.” they said, and turned to leave, walking away.

I didn't call it the Great Human Extinction for nothing.” Anthony yelled out to them.

Fawn stopped and turned, “And why did you call it that?”

"Why do you think?”

“Well… considering I’ve seen werewolves, vampires, and now aliens, I’m gonna guess an overthrow of Earth?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Agnes confirmed, “Worst case scenario is you die. Best case scenario is you’ll no longer be human by the end of this. Or both. Both is highly likely.”

“Well that’s great to hear.”

“If you don’t end up dead or a non-human, you’ll be enslaved by my people.” Severin said.

“You guys are the best at delivering good news.”

“See? You're screwed, too. We're in this together.” Agnes said.

“I didn't ask to be in this in the first place!”

“Do you think anyone asked to be in this? No, we didn't. Our chances are stronger together, so you can either go and fend this off alone, or bare the storm with us.”

“Ugh.” Fawn groaned, “Fine.” They said, folding their arms. Everyone looked to Hunter.

“What about you?” Agnes asked.

Hunter responded, “Bold of you to assume I have anything better going on in my life.”

“Well then, we have a group at least.” Anthony said, “that's a start, right?”

“Barely.” Agnes said, “Let's get out of these woods, first and foremost. We'll go from there.”

And so, the group of five made their way through the forest. Anthony was anxiously trying to rip apart his mask, Agnes distracted herself by gazing up at the trees, and Severin jumped at every cracking branch. Hunter looked unbothered, and Fawn felt like they were running a marathon from how fast their heart was beating.

As they walked, they could see a building up ahead through the trees. They could feel their heart flutter as they picked up their speed. Once their feet hit the concrete and they knew where they were, they took off without a second thought.

They ran down the street as fast as their legs could carry them, running all the way up to an average, inconspicuous house. It was small and feeble, but by God, it was home.

Fawn nearly burst the door down as they unlocked it with a hidden key. The first thing they did was collapse onto their couch, and began sobbing. They weren’t sure if it was out of relief, fear, sadness, or all of the above. Probably all of the above.

Agnes, Anthony, and Severin followed them inside, while Hunter stood in the doorway. They rubbed their arm awkwardly as Fawn cried, feeling… strange. Guilty? Did they feel guilty? They felt intrusive just being in the doorway, so they turned around and sat in their front yard.

After a minute, Fawn’s cries slowly dwindled until they were left sniffling. They felt like they could fall asleep right there as they were. They were exhausted in every sense of the word, and now for the first time in months, they felt they could truly, finally relax. They were home. On their couch. It felt like everything could be okay again…

If it weren’t for the whole apocalypse thing.

Fawn took in a deep breath, exhaling it in a mix of a sigh and a groan. They pushed themself up, sitting criss-crossed on the couch. They rubbed their eyes under their glasses, then just sat. Sat and stared at the dirty carpet of their living room floor.

Nothing would ever be the same again, nor would it ever be how they’d hoped. All of their plans, their dreams, their entire life, it was gone. It didn’t matter if they were still trapped with Hunter at the cabin, or by the werewolves, or even if they were right here back home on their couch. It would all end up the same. Nothing mattered anymore. They wondered if it ever did.

They stood up from the couch after what felt like hours, and walked up the creaky wooden stairs to their bedroom. Their heart skipped a beat as they turned the old knob. Everything was just as they left it before going out on their walk.

They grabbed a spare pair of glasses they had, and they weren't prepared for how amazing it was to see without cracks. They sat on their bed and stared down at the old pair, running their thumb over the cracks. Their hands began to shake, and they tossed them away to the floor, landing in a pile of clothes. They reached for their medication on the bedside table and stared down at it.

It would be so nice to not feel like they're dying all the time, but… They’ve already been forced to stop taking them all at once, and considering the whole apocalypse thing, they doubted they’d be able to refill their prescription. This bottle was all they had left, and it would be for the best to just deal with the anxiety- as awful as it may be. At least they weren’t someone who needed drugs in order to live…

Their favorite old jacket was thrown over a wooden chair. They put it on, and it felt like the most comforting thing to exist. So warm and secure. They picked up a handheld mirror that laid on their desk and took a look at their reflection. They knew their hair had grown over the last few months, but seeing their actual face really put it in perspective. Their hair was down past their shoulders. They couldn’t recall the last time it was that long.

Before going back downstairs, they grabbed a wooden baseball bat they had lying underneath their bed. Agnes and Anthony were being nosy as they innocently looked through Fawn’s things, but Fawn didn’t care. Severin looked fascinated by the alien-to-him objects, typing stuff down on his half-working tablet.

Fawn left their house where they saw Hunter sitting criss-crossed in the grass, picking at the clovers and dandelions. They cautiously approached them, sitting down next to them with a bit of distance. Hunter glazed over to them with a side eye, keeping their attention on the ground.

Fawn twiddled with their thumbs, and fidgeted with the loose threads of their jacket, unable to think of something to say. It was strange, what they had. They were a captive and a captor, a victim and a murderer, a fawn and a hunter. Yet now, they could almost feel like… friends. Fawn scrunched their face at the thought.

Hunter was the one to break the silence, “Why are you still here?”

“What do you mean? This is my yard.”

“Oh. Yeah. That is true… I guess the better question is, why am I here, huh?”

“Yeah, Hunter, why are you here?” Fawn said, “That’s not even your real name, either, is it?”

“No, it’s not. Does it matter?”

“If you wanna sit in my yard and rip up my grass then yes, it does. Tell me your real name or get out.”

Hunter shrugged and got up.

"Wait, you’re actually leaving?”

“Hey, you gave me an either or and I took it. Have fun with your group of four, I'll finally fuck off.” They said, and began walking away down the street.

“Ugh- wait.” Fawn said, getting up to follow them. Hunter didn't stop walking.

“What, grow attached to me now?”

“Fuck you.”

“uh huh. I see."

"Fuck you." Fawn said again, "The woods were my only escape, and now it’s the fucking apocalypse. No one has anywhere to go. This is it… why… why did you even take me in the first place?"

"I... I was sadistic."

"What would you know? You're not me."

"That's not the reason. At least not the main one."

“Earlier today, you told me you liked me. You… kept me because you were lonely.”

“You say that with a lot of confidence.”

“Well I’m right, ain’t I? You decided you liked me, so instead of killing me, you kept me. That’s what you did.”

“Is it?”

“Yes! You literally told me!”

“Did I?”

“Yes! Today!”

“I don’t think I said that.”

“UAGH!” Fawn groaned, “You’re fucking impossible! You’re infuriating!” They plopped down onto a curb, putting their head in their hands. Hunter leaned against a street sign.

Fawn sighed, "... Back... when I was sick and you were taking- taking care of me. That was- it was the first time I've ever been cared for like that. Not even my own mother showed me that kind of kindness. I- I just can't deal with it.”

For a moment Hunter’s face softened. Just a moment. “What, so I remind you of your shitty mom?”

"No, you're like my shitty mother if my shitty mother was also a fucking creep who gave even just a single fuck about me."

The two sat on the curb in silence as they stared out at the sunset over the skyline. The air was warm with a gentle cool breeze.

"Ooohhh, I see. So I'm not like your mother, I'm like your mommy." Hunter teased, and Fawn turned an embarrassed shade of red, making Hunter chuckle. They sat down next to them.

Fawn finally spoke, "Fuck. I think I have Stockholm syndrome."

"Hey, at least you're self-aware. Spending 41 days trapped with me as an equal fucked ya up, didn't it?” They teased, nudging Fawn with their elbow.

“You're not funny, or cute, or quirky.”

“I ain't sayin’ I am. I'm an asshole who likes to torment people. I think you need to care a little less."

"Does it even fucking matter anymore? It's the end of the world, Hunter!"

“Yeah, so what better time is there to stop caring?”

“We’re all going to die. You heard what Severin said. The aliens want to enslave us, the werewolves want to use us as some kind of godly sacrifice, and the vampires… what do they want? Our blood, and- oh, god, is Anaira okay?!”

“Okay, look. Sure, maybe the world as we know it is ending. Sure, maybe we're all doomed by the narrative. But that doesn't mean we can't fight to the end, does it? I mean, you said it yourself, nothing matters anymore. So let's forget about trivial problems and fuck shit up. There are no more consequences.”

“If there are no more consequences, then I should be able to strangle you right here, right now. Beat you with this bat."

“I mean… yeah. You could try. You think once this whole thing really gets going that the police are gonna care? Or rather that they'll still exist at all. It's a time for anarchy, it's time to actually eat the rich. It's time to fuck around and find out. What's there left to lose? So, yeah, you can try to strangle me. The only person who'd be stopping you is me.”

Fawn stood up, and began walking away.

“Where are you going?”

“Well, it's the Apocalypse, ain't it? So let's get prepared.”

Taglist: @parasitebunny @whumpy-wyrms @fruitypinapple00 @otterfrost

Lmk in the comments if you want added or removed !

Thanks for reading !! 💕🦌

#fawn and hunter #whump #whump blog #whump community #whumpblr #my writing #whump things #whump writing #whump story #whump series

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pink-pony-mod · 1 year ago

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I need your help

Many years ago I had a small let's play channel that was slowly gaining traction until I was bullied off the site for being a brony. I deleted all the videos I had put a lot of love and time into editing, but at least I still had all the original files on my computer. Then my hard drive died and I lost every single video.

I sent the drive off in 2017 to be assessed, and the files appeared to be intact, but I was quoted over £550 to recover them. Obviously I could not afford that, and the deep depression it has caused has haunted me ever since. Recently I looked into it again, and I've found somewhere that costs a little over £150. It has been many years since then, and the data may have degraded past the point of recovery, but I won't know until I send it off (and I was talked out of trying it myself).

So, I humbly ask for your assistance to heal this old trauma, and help restore these old videos for my mental health. I don't need every penny, but I do need help towards it, as I have no job. This could be from donations, but I'm also willing to take commissions to earn it. All proceeds will go straight into this fund.

#charity #help needed #please help #brony #data recovery #HDD #sorry i have to ask #thank you

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nokingsonlyfooles · 1 year ago

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I Dunno What to Do

CW: I'm going to add a picture of a burn one of my healthcare providers gave me, just to express what's going on in general. I'll put everything under a cut.

Tonight, over a phone appointment (because she doesn't think I'm complicated enough to need an in-person appointment) the gynecologist flat out told me that thyroid and estrogen do not interact with each other (not true), that because I had a total hysterectomy I produce "no hormones" and when I sputtered and said I produce lots of hormones, she clarified that I produce no estrogen or progesterone (also not true), and she doesn't deal with anything other than "hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness." That is not the nature of my symptoms - I am experiencing pain, and I told her that more than once, but I didn't get any traction until I started saying, "hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness" like she wanted. The spouse thought I should make a point of reiterating that my symptoms are atypical, but she cut me off before I could even start.

It's really convenient that I have three doctors "working together" (ha-ha) on this, because nothing is ever any one doctor's responsibility. It's always someone else's problem. I said, "The progesterone helped my pain but increased my anxiety." She said, "Progesterone decreases anxiety." (Once again, not true. It can, but it can also make anxiety worse.) "That sounds like it could be something to do with your thyroid. Until you stabilize your thyroid, we won't know which symptoms are caused by what." I couldn't tell her that my thyroid meds have been stable since last September and the only thing that changed was the progesterone. I physically couldn't - if you cut me off enough times and keep saying things that don't make any sense, my words'll dry up like a wash in the desert - but I don't think it would've made any difference if I handed the phone to the spouse and let him explain. Not a good difference.

Then, in the end, she told me to stop increasing and decreasing my dosage trying to feel better, because it would mess with my thyroid and... I was the one who said that. I contradicted her when she said my thyroid had nothing to do with her. But when she wanted to control my behaviour, she threw it back in my face like she knew and I didn't.

I know my pain is increased and decreased by the hormones I'm taking, because I've been taking various combinations of hormones for years now. No estrogen or progesterone at all, which happened during the early days of the pandemic, caused the worst pain imaginable. I couldn't wear a shirt. I was taping my breasts and wearing sports bras two sizes too small just to keep them compressed and out of the way so nothing would touch them. I did that so much the tape cut my skin. Estrogen and progesterone lessen that pain, but I still have pain.

I've changed the way I carry my whole body and sleep because of this pain. I am always hunching to protect my stupid tits, and I don't reach across my upper body or hold things against my chest or let people hug me, even when I have a good day and they don't hurt so much. I'm that used to it. Because I'm not getting consistent care. And this tortured posture is contributing to my shoulder pain. Now that I've managed to wring estrogen AND progesterone out of this reluctant doctor ("You don't need progesterone unless you have a uterus. It'll make your breast pain worse. You might gain weight." *pointed look*) it hurts less, and I tripped over some exercises that are helping, but my shoulder has been hurting for years now too.

And that brings me back to my family doctor, who is supposed to take the lead and coordinate all these things, and who, in fact, gatekept me from a hormone specialist of any kind for over a year, and then referred me to these people who don't listen and don't seem to understand very basic things about hormones. At least, the gynecologist doesn't - or she's trying to dumb it down so much that she's not making any sense. I hold out some small hope the endocrinologist will see reason if I sit down and explain what's going on, but I won't see him again until March.

But, the very first referral I got from my family doctor was for the shoulder pain. He sent me to a chiropractor. She did multiple adjustments that made my shoulder numb, and burned my back with the TENS unit, probably by using dirty pads or failing to clean my skin before applying them.

Oh, and she didn't tell me. She sent me home, and I noticed the stabbing pain in my shoulder seemed a bit worse. When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I saw this:

I took a picture so I could show her, but I decided not to go back. I went to the family doctor and said, "That chiropractor you sent me to burned my back with the TENS unit" and the response was *crickets*. A blank look and it was back to "prescribing" me more herbs and supplements. He didn't even look at it.

I have scar tissue back there now, and nerve damage that's making it harder to address the original issue. I tried to get healthcare, I didn't ask the right questions or push back hard enough, and I got hurt even worse. Story of my life.

He's still pressuring me to take "sea kelp" because "it has trace minerals." It also has iodine. Lots of it. I told him I wasn't going to take any more iodine because the endocrinologist he sent me to told me it could shut down my thyroid. So now he's telling me to take sea kelp for trace minerals, like I couldn't possibly remember the iodine part. No, I'm not that stupid. I went along with the herbs for a while, too long, because that was the only thing he was offering me, and traditional medicine hadn't helped much at that point. No, turns out I didn't need unregulated OTC supplements, I needed to keep making a pest of myself until I got some real medicine. And I'm still doing that.

I just want to get better. It's hard enough putting in the effort to get better when I've gone through so much medical neglect and so many problems have piled up without being addressed. But I can't put all my energy into self care, or even most of it. I gotta fight my doctors, and do research, and piss them off by questioning their judgment again and again and again.

I suspect my family doctor is al the root of this. He doesn't care, and he refers me to other doctors who don't care. (Except the vision specialist, I found her myself. But the problem with her is, my eye thing is so uncommon most optometrists don't know about it. So I'm stuck with her too.) But I can't get rid of him unless I move to another city... or find another family doctor who's taking new patients, but there aren't any. And the clinics that fill prescriptions and do referrals won't treat me behind his back. I went to one. I tried. "You have a family doctor, he knows you better." No, he doesn't. And if he keeps treating me this way, he's gonna kill me. Or one of 'em is.

I've had doctors try to kill me before. One of 'em got me to take a dose of iron that would've put me in the hospital if a random pharmacist hadn't caught it and told me to stop. This here Canadian healthcare is the best I've ever gotten.

And, oh my god, that is terrifying.

I'm going to make an in-person appointment with the endocrinologist and lay it on the line for him: "This is what's happening. I'm getting contradictory treatment from three sources and my life is in danger. I don't have the authority to sort you out. If you can't take charge of this mess, no one else will." But if that doesn't work, or if he cuts me off before I even say it and goes, "I only treat thyroids" I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I don't like that so much of the fallout lands on my spouse. He lost someone due to this kinda neglect and I do not like hammering his trauma buttons. So I'm venting here, but I don't like doing that either. My problems are so persistent and so stupid that I sound like a scam artist or a nut. (Look, they dropped Agent Orange on my dad and didn't tell him until I was in my thirties. That's at least one big reason my body doesn't work right. I didn't even have a chance.) And he's gonna read this and get upset anyway.

But this is how I'm best able to say things, in text, and I need to say it. Maybe if I practice it here, I'll be able to explain it better to the endocrinologist. Or maybe someone'll see it and tell me some Canadian method of getting rid of an awful doctor that I'm unaware of. Other than waiting for him to get disbarred or die, ya know?

This is essentially the situation I grew up in: the people who are supposed to take care of me don't want to, but they're going to smile and say they are, and any problems I may be having are all my own fault. If I want care, I gotta steal it like Coyote grabbing fire off the gods. 'Cos I need that shit to live. But that takes so much social engineering and effort and I'm so damn tired. I'm not a Trickster or a Hero. I'm hurt. I've been hurt a long time. I ain't never gonna be "normal" but what I've managed to claw out of this broke-ass system proves that I can get better.

If they'd only let me.

#health stuff #healthcare #or the lack thereof #doctors #canada #cw: injury #maybe body horror too i dunno #vent #trying to stay hopeful #oh boy but i'm running out of options #this is more than i've ever had but i'd like to be better instead of less worse #and the difference between those is care

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mega-mastermind · 1 year ago

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Small Update

Hey folks, it's been awhile! I wanted to give you guys an update as to why I've been taking so long with Super Vicente. It's really 3 reasons: I've been busy with real life stuff these past few months, I get distracted way too easily, and burnout. The first 2 are kinds self explanatory, so I want to talk a bit about the third. Burnout is more than just a cool Fortnite skin, it's real. And it effects me a lot. My motivation to draw comes in waves. Sometimes, I'll get five pages done at once, and the next day I won't feel like picking up my pen at all. Burning out isn't new to me, as it is the exact reason why I've given up on other projects in the past. Burnout & lack of motivation kinda go hand in hand. Admittedly, it's hard to find motivation to draw a full length web comic when I basically have no one but my friends watching/supporting it. And so, I end up doing other things that interest me instead, simply pushing Super Vicente out of my mind for awhile. But I always come back to it, because I don't want to get so burned out to the point where I abandon this project as well. I've put more time & effort into this comic than I have for any other personal project since 2017. And I really want it to keep going. So here's what's gonna happen going forward:

I will be releasing Episode 3 TOMORROW NIGHT! Yeah, it's finally done! And I actually have a plan to *hopefully* gain my comic some more traction. Even a very very small audience will be more than enough motivation to continue it! As for the future, I'm gonna try, as of *right now* to release one episode per month. That should be plenty of time for me to draw but not get burned out or lose motivation while doing so. I will let you know if that changes, especially if I'm able to go even faster than a month. But plan on a new episode each month for now.

I'll just end by saying that I am so grateful to anyone who has read or interacted with Super Vicente in any way. Your support means the world to me, thank you.

With that, get ready for Episode 3, dropping tomorrow night!

(by the way, the drawing is supposed to be me in real life. I wanted to have a clear difference between Super Vicente "Mastermind" and real life me)

#art #comic #mastermind #original work #scifi #vicente art #adventure #oc #original character #cartoon #update

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chattercap · 1 year ago

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2024 Roadmap (January Edition!)

As we head into the New Year, here is my to-do list for the first half of the year! Note that if you're interested in the development of Actala, I've included a lengthy writeup regarding that project...and some comments about falling out of love with something that you used to hold dear.

The Deepwater Witch

The script for The Deepwater Witch is 100% complete and finalized, and the only thing left to do is CGs, which have been completely storyboarded. In total I have 10 to do, although I do want to take my time with them.

I won't pinpoint a concrete date for the release as there are a few quality of life features that I would like to include in the full version, such as rollback and save file renaming. However, I expect to release the full version of The Deepwater Witch around February.

And now for the other projects!

Kanau (previously "Tsunagu")

"Kanau" will be the prequel to "Karamu," set 11 years before the events of the previous installment. On his 10th birthday, Rakuo Kumode undergoes his family's initiation ceremony.

Kanau will be a mostly horror game with some romantic elements. Since it is set in the past, it will be kinetic, with switching POV protagonists.

If all goes well, I hope to release it around February/March.

(And, following the release of the prequel, I hope to release the sequel around the summer timeframe. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.)

MINDMINDMIND (previously "The Man Who Follows")

There is a man who watches you. He's been watching you for a long time. He watches, and he whispers.

MINDMINDMIND will be a psychological romance game featuring a creepy, but charming, yandere. There will be two male love interests, optional platonic/romantic endings (for one of them), and a customizable MC. I was tossing around some concept sketches for one of the LIs, Geist, earlier this afternoon.

I hope to release it around the end of March.

And last but not least...

Actala: The Hero's Shadow

This will be a bit long-winded and rambling, so skip to the bottom if you just want to know about the current status of development.

If any of you have been following, Actala was the first game that I released, around February last year. I released the demo for Steam Next Fest. It's my largest project, incorporating 5 different love interests and 6 different routes in an expansive fantasy world.

There are some people who saw Actala, played it, and supported me based on the demo alone, and for that I'm very grateful (your comments live rent-free in my mind). At the time, I was proud of it, and I tried to market it rather aggressively. However, the game didn't gain much traction, and after some bad experiences, I got rather ashamed of looking at it. I thought that it was boring, hideous, and poorly written. "How could I have ever wasted people's time with this trash?" I had once treasured that game preciously, wanting to show it off, and I started wanting to hide it in my closet where it couldn't be seen (I even thought about removing the demo from storefronts).

After that, I started working on other, smaller games. It's easier, working on smaller projects. You don't put as much effort into them, so it doesn't matter as much if they end up not meeting your expectations. (When people tell you to start small, they are correct.) My procrastination ended up being fruitful, at the very least. I think I improved a little bit in every aspect (sprite art, backgrounds, writing, GUI, and coding), and I got faster and more experienced at producing games. At the same time, I mostly put Actala development out of my mind because...I didn't want to think about trying to fix that ugly, broken thing. "I'll fix it when I'm better," I told myself. "I'll come back to it when I'm the best game dev I can be." I told myself that I would go back to it later because that was easier than accepting that I had fallen out of love with something that I had loved so much.

Around the time I was finishing scripting for TDW, I looked through my Actala scripts again to see how different my writing style had become. I was scared. How bad was it? I read it, and I realized something.

I did love it.

I remembered how much time I put into every facet of the characters - their backstories, motivations, goals, dreams, cultural backgrounds, costumes. I remembered how many timelines and lore documents that I made. I remembered how meticulously I planned the themes and messages, incorporating a lot of my own struggles with cultural identity, loss, and self-acceptance into the narrative.

Actala is a project that I care about a lot, and I want it to be perfect, but ultimately it will never be perfect. I just need to try my best with my current skills and hope that they're good enough that people can enjoy the story. So I'm ready to return to Actala's development now. I'm sorry for the delay if anyone has been looking forward to it, and I will do better in the future.

As for the current state of Actala's development, it needs a lot of work. It was originally built in Unity, and it needs to be ported over to Godot. Most of the art from the demo needs to be redrawn, simply because my sprite and background styles are VERY different now. So I'll be working on it in conjunction with my current projects, starting with refining the script, then working on sprites and CGs. I won't guarantee any sort of concrete release date for this simply because of how much work is required, but I hope to release an updated demo (with additional scenes for Rowan, Faye, Hugh, and Sei) in the summer.

Thank you to everyone who looks forward to playing my projects, and thank you again for your patience. I hope to make a lot of games this year!

#general #general-news

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