#I'm sorry if this is strange or weird to say

[chriss-slut]

Puddin'

~ Dom!Chris X sub!fem!reader ~

Synopsis: Your friends slip up who's your favorite character, but also your fantasy kink.

warning: SMUT!! rough unprotected sex, petnames, degradation kink, daddy kink, cursing, and a lot of stuff that i can't even remeber anymore lol

A/N: this is kinda MY fantasy kink so.. 😀 btw if there's any spelling mistakes, im sorry, i didnt have time to check it :)

I have always been, in some way, a big fan of Harley Quinn (if not obsessed). I discovered her when i was around 12 years old, when Suicide Squad came out. Everything about her inspired me. Whether it was her behavior, intelligence, madness, or eccentricity, deep down, I dreamed of being like her, of being as sexy and alluring.

As I grew older, my passion for her became something I no longer showcased, simply out of fear of being judged by others. I was now 20 years old, and it seemed weird, even boring, to others to see me in the same costume at every dress-up party.

When I met Chris, I never really talked to him about this little obsession I had, mainly out of fear that he would find it strange.

Up until now, everything had been going well between us, and I didn't find it important. He didn't need to know more about this subject.

I was at home with Chris and my two best friends. We had planned to spend the afternoon together so they could meet, especially since our relationship had just become official.

Everything was going well until Julia started talking about what I was trying to keep secret:

"Oh, by the way, are you still coming tomorrow night?" Julia asked me, completely changing the subject while munching on her chips.

"Tomorrow night?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, to Noah's costume party, like every year, Y/N!" she said in a "duh" tone, rolling her eyes.

"Um... I forgot. Honestly, I don't think so. Chris and I had planned to spend the evening together, so it's going to be difficult for me," I said, trying to find a plausible excuse to avoid further questions.

"What??!" she exclaimed, looking disappointed.

"You can come with him, and that way, you can get to know us a bit more, Chris!" added my other friend Stella, turning to my boyfriend with a big smile, and the others nodded in agreement.

"That would be nice," Chris replied with a shrug.

"See? Come on, you're coming. I don't really plan to give you a choice. We go every year, there's no way you're skipping it this time!" Julia added.

"I don't have a costume anyway, and I'm exhausted right now. It's going to be a no from me, guys, sorry," I said, trying to sound genuinely disappointed.

"You're such a liar. Are you going to make me believe you don't have a costume when you spend all your time dressing up as Harley Quinn at every opportunity?" she said, laughing.

My eye widen and i start blushing a bit. Chris turned to me, and i look at Julia with a face that says "Please, just shut your mouth."

"Oh, because, yes, I suppose you already know, but your girlfriend is completely obsessed with Harley Quinn. It's like she's totally in love with her!" Julia said to Chris, giggling.

"Julia! oh my god!" I said, embarrassed, now trying to hide my face in my hands.

"She's not wrong," Stella added. What a bunch of traitors.

"You never told me about this?" Chris said, confused, while I stood there, dying of embarrassment at the thought that the girls might make things worse.

"What, you mean she never bored you with her Harley Quinn obsession? I'm sure her biggest kink would be sleeping with you dressed as her!" Julia said without any restraint, and this time it was too much for me.

"Julia!! What the fuck is wrong with you!" I said, getting angry.

"Wow, calm down, I was just joking," she said, frowning.

Stella's mouth was wide open, and Chris looked like he didn't know where to put himself.

"You guys should go home. 'm tired, I need to rest," I said to escape the situation.

"What, seriously? You're going to be mad at me for this? Y/N!" I heard Julia shout as I left the room.

I went up to my room and shut the door behind me. My reaction was probably over the top, but I didn't want Chris to know about this. She had no right to humiliate me like that in front of him. I bury my face in my pillow and try to think about something else.

After a few minutes, I heard some knocks on my door.

"Julia, go away! I don't want to talk to you!" I shouted from my bed.

I heard the door open anyway, so I turned around to tell her to leave, but to my surprise, it was Chris.

"I'm not Julia, sorry to break it to you," he said, trying to make me laugh.

"It's not funny," I said, rolling my eyes before sitting up on my bed.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"You're already inside anyway..." I speak, shrugging

"Are you mad at me or Julia? I don't understand anymore," he said, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms.

"Sorry," I replied, biting my lip, and he came to sit next to me.

"The girls left and asked me to tell you they really want you to be there tomorrow night," he said, placing his hand on the small of my back, and I sighed.

"Listen, I'd be very happy to go with you. I don't mind. We can always come back together and spend time alone after the party, but I don't want you to fight with your friends because of me," he said, and I turned my head towards him.

"That's not why I fought with them, Chris," I said, looking back at the floor.

"Then what was it about?" he asked.

"It's something stupid. I don't really want to talk about it!" I said, feeling the embarrassment return.

"Come on, tell me. I'm not going to judge you," he said, shaking his head.

"No!" I said, avoiding his gaze.

"Is it because of what she said about your obsession with Harley Quinn?" he asked.

"I'm not obsessed with her!" I said, getting angry.

“And that’s not what I implied. I was just repeating her words!” he responded immediately.

I sighed, realizing it was becoming ridiculous to keep this hidden from him any longer.

“Yes…” I said softly.

“Why did it upset you so much?” he asked.

“Because I was afraid she’d say more, and you’d find it weird!” I sighed.

“Why would I find it weird?” he said, gently rubbing my back.

“I don’t know…” I said, shrugging.

“I don’t find you weird, Y/N. You have every right to be a fan of any fictional character if it makes you happy. I really like Harley Quinn, too. You could have told me; I would have been happy to talk about it with you, baby,” he said, smiling.

My eyes sparkle as i hear him say that and i immediately look at him again. “Really?” I said, looking at him with admiration. I truly have a wonderful boyfriend.

“You know what, why don’t you dress up as Harley Quinn, and I’ll be your Joker? That way, you won’t miss the party, and I get to spend time with you and your friends,” he suggested, standing up.

I smiled at him, leaned to hug him tightly, and nodded.

“And when we get back from the party, I’d be happy to fuck you in your costume to fulfill your kink,” he whispered in my ear, playfully smacking my ass.

“Chris, she made that part up!!” I said, blushing deeply.

“Too bad, I was really down for that part,” he said, laughing.

i laugh too, still embarrassed, and i stand up, going to the bathroom.

_______

it's now the next day, almost 8pm, and I'm with my boyfriend arriving at my place. We just left the mall, where we went to buy a Joker costume to him.

i open my front door and we both run towards my room, since we're kinda late.

"dress up in there while i do it in the bathroom, okay?? i want it to be a surprise for you!" i say sweetly, quickly pecking Chris' lips before heading to the bathroom.

after an hour or so, i knock on the bathroom door so i can have Chris' attention and i shout from inside "Are you done??"

"Uh... I've been done for 20 minutes, Y/N." he says from my bedroom.

I burst out laughing for a bit and then i open the door, making a little pose for Chris, showing my costume.

Chris' jaw drops as soon as i open the door. He stands up and stay froze, staring at me.

i giggle softly and go over him, resting my hands in his chest "What'chu think?" i speak, in a slightly higher-pinched voice, trying to recreate Harley's voice.

Chris' jaw just drops more after hear me, he stays froze for a few more moments until he finally speaks. "wow... you look... wow!"

I giggle "you liked it?"

"Liked it? I just fell in love with you all over again!" he says, now hugging me tightly and lifting me from the ground.

I laugh cute and hug him back, tightly. "I'm so happy you liked it!"

Chris buries is face on the crook of my neck, sucking it softly. "There was no way for me to not like it. you look so hot." he whisper before kissing my neck.

I moan softly and move my hand to caress his hair. "thank you, baby..." i speak before pulling away and look at him. "You talking about me when you look like THAT is crazy!"

He grins at me "thank you, sweetheart! Lets go to that party, then?"

"Yeaaah!!" i yell happily, jumping.

He chuckles at my jump and grabs his stuff. We walk out of my house, going to the party.

After a while, we arrive at Noah's house. A lot of people outside of it, all dress up as various characters and monsters. I lead Chris into the party and after a few seconds, Julia and Stella run up to us.

"HEY, GIIIRL!!" Stella yells, happy to see me, as she hugs me from the side.

"Hey, guys!!" Julia shouts at us both, still a bit scared of me being mad at her.

"Hii!" Chris says at them, waving with a smile.

"Hi, girls! Love your costume!" I speak at Stella. She nods with a smile "Thank you! You look amazing yourself, but I'm used to see it already,"

I laugh softly, not really happy about her comment but i brush it off. "You look good too, Ju!" I speak at Julia.

She smiles at me "Thank you! You too, as always... Can i ask you something?" Julia says, with a soft expression. "Yeah, sure!" i say back.

"Uh... i just wanted to know if you're still mad at me for yesterday... I've been thinking about it all night and, I'm sorry..." She speaks softly.

I smile reassuringly "It's okay... I'm sorry too! I shouldn't have become so mad at you..."

She smiles softy and nods "It's okay, i guess we both screwed up!"

"Yeah, but its alright!" i lean to hug her as she does the same.

Suddenly, Stella speaks, loudly. "So, let's party?!?" We all yell "yess!" and that way, the party begins!

______

After hours, me and Chris are going back to my place, tired from dancing and jumping all night.

I open my front door and Chris holds the door for me to enter, smacking my ass playfully as i pass through him.

"Let's to the room. Now." He speaks in a soft but demanding way, which makes me a bit confused but i obey.

Once we get into my room, Chris closes the door behind him and quickly presses me in it, causing me to gasp softly.

"Remember what i told you yesterday??" Chris speaks, his hands caressing my sides.

"U-uh... y-yeah..?" i speak, slightly nervous, since Chris looks so hot and in a rough mood right now.

He smirks and attacks my lips in a hungry kiss. We both make out for a while. As we're still kissing, he puts his hands under my ass and picks me up from the floor, taking me to bed, where he throws me on.

He crawls on top of me and says, looking down at me "You look so damn hot right now. You have no idea how much i had to control myself to not drag you to a bathroom and fuck you right there." He leans and starts kissing my neck, intensively.

I moan in response and i wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling his body closer to mine.

"Tell me, what do you want me to do with you, Puddin'" Chris whispers, making me freeze for a second. Him calling Joker's nickname to Harley made me see stars... and made me wet.

"i-i want you to fuck me..." i say softly.

"huh? i didn't hear you, baby." he says, now lifting his head to look at me.

"i-i want you to fuck me, Chris. Please!" i whine, already desperate.

Chris smirks at me "Good girl" he says before leaning to kiss me again.

While we kiss, he takes off my Harley Quinn Jacket and toss it to the side. He gives wet kisses down my face to my collarbone, where he stays as he takes off my boots.

"mmh, you're so hot, babygirl~" he mumbles as he kisses me.

i moan softly in response, my hands now trying to take his jacket off, which he helps me with.

After a while kissing, he's now in just his jeans as i still have almost the full costume on.

He grabs my jaw tightly and speaks, firmly "you gonna do justice to your costume and act like a little slut f'me?"

I look up at him with puppy eyes and nod. He smirks and whispers "Good girl~" He moves two of his fingers that was on my jaw and slide it into my mouth, pressing it on my tongue.

"Fuck, you look so good like this... oh, imma fuck you so so good today~" He speaks, in a sensual tone.

I moan against his fingers, swirling my tongue around it.

He then takes his fingers off my mouth with a bop and attacks my lips again, then going down to my neck as his hands go under my shirt, caressing my chest over my bra. He lifts my shirt and move his hands to my back, unbuckling my bra and taking it off, without taking off my Harley Quinn shirt.

He then leans and suck my nipples, which makes me moan "mmh Chris...please, i need you..."

Chris lets out a soft chuckle and grabs my jaw again, harshly, making me look at him "I'm the one in control, got it?" he says in a demanding tone. i just nod, looking up at him.

He nods back and start kissing and sucking my breasts again, now going down my stomach, until he reaches my red and blue tight shorts.

"i gotta take this off, it drove me crazy all night." he speaks, now pulling it down, letting me in my fishnet tights, my thongs and my Harley shirt. He looks down at me and bite his lip. Chris caress my thighs and spreads them, softly passing his hand in my clothed pussy, making me whimper. "Chris, Please..."

"Did you not hear me when i said i was in control??" he speaks in a serious tone "I'll do whatever i want with you, understand?"

I sigh softly and nod. "Good." he speaks before slapping my inner thigh hardly, earning a loud moan from me.

"God, you're so good to spank!" he says, slapping my other inner thigh hardly, i moan loud again.

"Turn around f'me, ma" he speaks to me and i immediately do it. He smirk down, looking at my ass, half covered with my square tights and he spanks my ass, strongly. i cry loud, burying my face in my pillow.

He grabs a fist of my hair and pull my head back, for me to look at him. "Don't wanna mess that make up yet, do ya?" i shake my head, whining from the pain in my scalp. He throws my head on the pillow again, now with my head to the side. He slaps my ass again, and again, and again, making me whine in pain, but also in pleasure.

The last time he slaps my ass, he spanks between my ass cheeks, making me moan loud. He lets out a soft chuckle from my reaction and says "Looks like someone likes to be spanked, isn't that truth?" i whine in response and he slaps the same place again, now gripping my hair again. "answer me. with words." he speaks firmly and demanding. "y-yeah, i do... i-... i l-like it..." i speak, whiny. He lets go of my hair and whispers in my ear "you're so pathetic, aren't you? Look at you, looking like a real whore f'me"

He slaps my ass again and turns me around one more time. He digs his fingers in my square tights, right between my legs, and he stretch it out, ripping it over my pussy. He looks at my sexy thong and he looks at me with a smirk. "is this for me?" I nod softly. He slaps my clothed pussy, making me whine loud, with a smirk. "Be ready, i think you'll need to~" he says to me, before ripping my thong and tossing it to the side.

Seeing him ripping my clothes always make me more turned on, seeing his arms muscles flex gives me butterflies.

He slides his finger through my wet slit and he says "so wet for me. such a little slut for liking me treating you like this." He pushes one finger in my hole, making me moan a bit. He keeps with it in, not moving, and he looks at me. "Look at you... I'd take a photo of you just to show everyone how much of a slut you are... looking so good just for me."

Suddenly, Chris pulls his finger out and slam three fingers into me, making me moan. He starts fingering me roughly, hardly and fast.

"O-oh Chris! fuck!" i moan, leaning my head back from the intense pleasure.

He, then, stops again, making me moan frustrated. "All fours. Now." he speaks demanding and i do it, my ass now almost at his face.

Chris slaps my ass and caress my wet cunt. "so beautiful like this, puddin'... so perfect~"

I whine softly in response and he stands up, unbelting his pants. He grabs his belt and hit the bed hardly with it. "If you do something i didn't tell you to, you'll pay for it. Got it?" i nod frantically.

He pulls down his pants and take them off, tossing it to the pile of clothes on the floor. He grips my hips and pull me to the edge of the bed, so he can fuck me while standing up. He grabs both my ponytails and pull my head back. "You gonne be a good girl and not cum for me until i say it, alright? Don't leave this position and don't scream too loud until i let you, alright?" He speaks in a firm and demanding tone.

"Yeah..." i speak softly. "Yeah, what?" Chris says, pulling even more my hair. "Y-yes, daddy..." i whine. Chris slaps my ass and throw my head forward "Good girl~".

Chris rubs his clother hard dick against my wet pussy, making me moan softly. "You're so wet you're making my boxers soaked. slut!" He pulls his boxers down and slams into me, making me scream loud. He lean over my back and slaps his hand on my mouth, pulling it back harshly. "What didn't you understand about not. screaming.?" I whimper, squeezing my eyes shut, and speak against his mouth "i'm sorry..."

Chris lets out a breathy mockingly laugh and takes his hand off my mouth, my head falling down harshly. "fucking pathetic." Chris mutters, now pulling slowly out of me. i whine at the sensation and then moan loud, trying hard not to scream, when he slams into me again.

Chris moves one hand to under my shirt, squeezing my breast, and the other to my hip, now starting to thrust in and out of my cunt.

I moan as he fucks me, slowly. "Chris, please..."

Chris stops middle-way and says demanding "First off, I'm not giving you want you want. second, you're not calling me that."

I whine softly "S-sorry, daddy..." Chris slaps my ass again and start thrusting into me again, still slowly.

After a while, i give up on moaning and i stay quiet. My head down with my eyes squeezed shut. Chris notices that and start going faster, hitting my g-point every time he pushes into me. i moan and i lean down to rest on my elbows, my back arched and my ass higher.

Chris slaps my ass again and groans lowly. "mmh, baby~ why are you so hot and perfect? looking like a real slut like this, while your pussy clenches around me. fuck!" He starts punding harder, slapping my ass a few more times.

I moan deep, trying to not be loud though. Chris keeps pounding into me until my cunt starts clenching too much around his cock. He stops and speaks "You ain't cummin' now, bitch. You know what happens if you do." and starts fucking me hard again. i start moaning louder, trying my hardest to not cum. I whine "p-puddin'... p-please... i-i can't..."

Chris slaps my ass the hardest he can and says, roughly "No. You're not cummin, Y/N. Or should i call you..." he leans over me, putting his mouth right behing my ear "Harley?".

I can feel the knot in my stomach almost exploding ad he whispers that to me. I can't believe I'm finally realizing this fantasy.

He feels my pussy clenching more around him as he says that and he laughs, smacking my ass again. "oh, you liked it, dont you? you want me to call you Harley? Is that it?"

i nod frantically, barely able to speak at this point. "Words." Chris says roughly, pouding into me roughly.

"o-oh.. y-yeah, d-daddy! p-please, c-call me t-that! o-oh, fuck, its so g-good! p-please!" i whine slightly loud, tears forming in my eyes already.

Chris smirks and start fucking me harder and faster. "fuck, ma! s-such a fucking slut! such a whore f'me!" he says, groaning. I'm so glad i told Chris i liked being degrated! I'm wetter than i was supposed to.

i keep moaning loudly "d-daddy, please! i-i need to cum! p-please lemme cum!" i whine.

Suddenly, Chris pulls out and turn me around, so we're now in missionary.

Chris slams into me again and puts his hand around my neck, hard enough to hurt but not for me to be breathless. "If you gonna cum, I'll see you cum. Gotta see that pretty face with that pretty make up all messed up." He puts his hand on my face and slides it down, messing even more my Harley Quinn makeup.

He, then, slides two fingers into my mouth the deepest he can, fucking my mouth as he fucks my cunt. He starts pounding roughly again, making me scream against him fingers, also gagging a bit.

My eyes starts rolling back with tears, just as my back arching and hips jerking up, feeling myself really close to the edge.

"Look at you. All fucked up like a whore. You really became Harley Quinn, didn't you? That hot bitch. I bet you wanna fuck every guy of the city, don'chu? fuck, puddin'. you're so fucking beautiful." Chris speaks between groans as he pounds into me. i start moaning even louder as i feel myself not being able to hold my orgasm anymore. My cunt clenching around Chris' cock just makes him groan and moan more.

"Cum. Cum f'me, Harley. C'mon, babygirl, cum for daddy~" Chris whispers in my ear. That gives me the final push and i finally cum in his cock. Not a simple orgasm, though. All of this roleplay and dirty talk made me cum hard and squirt all over Chris, which makes him cum inside of me and collapse on top of me.

We both panting hard and shaking. We stay there for a while and then Chris pulls out, laying next to me.

"You did so good f'me, Harl..." He speaks softly, caressing my cheek

"y-you too, puddin'..." i say softly, still panting.

Chris leans and kissed my lips, a long peck. When he pulls away, he looks down at me, admiring me. "Why didn't you tell me this before? This was the best sex I've done in my life..."

i smile softly at him and speak softly, now turning to face him, "I'm sorry for that... if i get another kink, I'll promise to tell ya!"

i hope you liked it! pls comment what you think, I'd appreciate it! :) xoxo

[w2soneshots]

Chose one -W2S

Words: 1.4k+

Warnings: light angst, sex references.

Summary: when both Harry and Chris fall for you, you realise you’re going to have to choose one.

a/n: omg I actually wrote something that’s not a request🤭. my fics have been super short lately so here’s an extra long one to make up for it✨. I hope you enjoy my lovelies!💓🫶🏼

Liked by bambinobecky, wroetoshaw and 781,045 others

y/username: life's to short to wear boring clothes💓

-comments-

taliamar: marry me.

-> y/username: 👰‍♀️

chrismd: 🔥🔥

faithloisak: you look gorgeous!!

y/nfanpage21: I need that dress omg

user51209835: not Chris thirsting over y/n😭

I've been friends with Harry for years. We met through my best friend Talia, at one of her birthday parties. That's also where I met the rest of the boys. We became friends and they began inviting me on nights out, parties and other events. I formed a separate connection with them all. Tobi, JJ, Ethan and Josh are like my older brothers. Simon's my best friend's boyfriend. Vik was a little awkward at the beginning but now I have the most interesting conversations with him. Me and Harry immediately hit it off. He was also awkward but I managed to pull him out of his shell, I get his humour and he gets mine. We just click.

I also met Chris through the boys. I found him hilarious and I loved the all the witty little comments he made. We became good friends after our first meeting and I now text him regularly. Recently I was having a conversation with Talia, over the phone. When she brought up the comment that Chris left on my most recent instagram post. I wasn't sure what to say. "He definitely likes you y/n!" She stated. My eyes widened. "No- no way." I stumbled on my words. "You don't like him?" "I- I'm not sure. I've never thought of him that way."

After that day I felt strange. I didn't know what to say to Chris. I also hadn't spoken to Harry in a few days. But I will see them both today at the party Tobi's hosting at his apartment. I began getting ready at five. I took a long shower, blow dried then styled my hair, applied some makeup and finally finished with my outfit. I had sent a text to the girls to ask what they were wearing so I chose my outfit around that.

Liked by taliamar, chrismd and 610,357 others

y/username: 🐆

-comments-

wroetoshaw: woah

freyanightingale: omfg the jacket💘

faithloisak: unbelievable🤤🤤

-> behzingagram: slow down there buddy

y/nfanpage21: her style changes every week, girl can do both

user91470263: are both Harry & Chris in love with y/n?🤨

I arrived at Tobi's apartment by seven. I rang the doorbell. "Hey! Come in." Tobi greeted me after he opened the door. We shared a quick hug then headed to where everyone else was. Not everyone had arrived yet but Talia had so I quickly went to say hello. "Hi babe! You look hot as fuck." She excitedly hugged me. "So do you. Is that the dress you bought last week?" I asked. "Yeah! I'm glad we were dressing up so I had an excuse to wear it."

Once the party got going and everyone arrived, most of us began drinking. I got really tipsy very quickly. I went off to the bathroom to clean myself up and take a deep breath. Just as I was leaving I banged straight into someone. My head banged back onto the wall. "Ow. Fuck." I clutched the back of my skull. "I'm so sorry. Are you ok? y/n?" A voice rambled. "Hmm," I opened my eyes. A very concerned looking Harry stood before me. "Oh. I'm fine. Don't sweat it." I hurried back into the living room.

"You alright?" Faith asked. "Mhm." I hummed. "You just seem a little... tense." I sighed. "Can we go into the kitchen? I need to ask you about something." I whispered to her. "Of course, let's go." She replied, standing from the couch. We slipped out of the room. I stood with my back leaning against the marble counter. "I've been feeling weird lately," I began, my drunkenness about to make me spill all of my secrets.

"I think I like Harry. Like more than a friend," Her eyes widened. "But I was speaking to T the other day and she said that she thinks Chris likes me. I'm just really confused." I sighed as an imaginary weight lifted from my shoulders, from the confession. "Well, do you feel for Chris like you feel for Harry?" She asked. My eyes fluttered closed. "I don't think so. I think he's... nice looking but I don't like him." "Well there's your answer."

I decided that I was just going to get absolutely pissed so I wouldn't have to deal with anything tonight (that was a mistake). Once me and Faith rejoined the group we all decided to play 'never have I ever'. I sat between Faith and JJ. "Okay! I'll start," Freya announced. "Never have I ever gone skinny dipping." Freya, Josh and JJ drank. "What?! You're all boring man." JJ shouted. Ethan went next. "Never have I ever had sex in a car." JJ, Faith, Ethan, Harry, Chris and myself drank. When I put my glass down I noticed two faces looking at me, Harry and Chris. I quickly looked away.

After a few more rounds with nothing that interesting it was my turn. "Never have I ever had a crush on my friend." I blurted out. My face dropped. I looked to Faith. She was just as shocked. "I- I think that's my cue to go home." I pushed myself from the couch. I turned to looked at Tobi. "Thanks for a great night." I smiled then made a be line for the front door.

As I waited for my taxi to arrive it began to rain. "For fuck sake." I whispered under my breath. "Here." I heard from behind me. I jumped then turned to see who it was. Harry stood there with his jacket in his hand, gesturing for me to take it. I smiled lightly then took it. Covering my hair from the rain. We stood there in silence, the only sound being made by the heavy downpour of rain. Harry's shirt began to stick to his body as it became increasingly more soaked. I stepped towards him. Attempting to cover the both of us with his coat. He unexpectedly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer. I leaned into his touch.

"I drank." He said breaking the silence. "What?" I replied quietly, confused. "Your question. About having a crush on your friend. I drank." He explained. My heart rate began to speed up. "Oh, who?" I asked nervously. "You." He whispered. My face dropped. I looked up at him, slightly breaking our hug. "Really? You- you like me?" I thought I was hearing things. He nodded. "It's alright if you don't feel the same, I just needed to tell you." "I do feel the same Harry." I leaned into him. Our lips inches apart. My taxi pulled up. I stepped away, passing his coat back. "Sorry." I mouthed as I slid into the car.

The next day I woke with an awful hangover and a bucket of guilt. I needed to speak to Chris. I can't pursue anything with Harry until I tell him about my lack of feelings. Later in the day I decided to text him. He agreed to come to my apartment. Twenty minutes later there was a knock at my door. I opened it with a smile then let him inside. "Listen Chris-" I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't even know for sure if he liked me. "It's ok. We don't have to make this awkward. I liked you but I know you and Harry are- you know, so don't worry about it. I'll back off." He said politely. I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. And I'm sorry." "Nothing to be sorry about. Let's just stay friends, yeah?" I nodded. "Yeah."

A few days later I turned up to Harry's apartment. I hesitated to knock. Then I took a deep breath and lifted my fist to the door. I waited almost a minute before the door opened. Harry stared at me. "Uhm, hi." I smiled softly. "Hey. What are you doing here?" He asked. "I um- I wanted to apologise for the other day. I shouldn't have left like that." I began. We stared into each other's eyes, neither saying a word. He stepped closer, so close in fact that I could feel his breath on my lips. "Can I kiss you?" He asked in a hushed tone. "Yes." I whispered. He closed the gap slowly. My hands moved to his shoulders. His traveled slowly down to my waist as we shared a sweet kiss.

[satari-raine]

I think I'd probably cry if Vessel ever sang off-mic in an empty cathedral, just having all that empty space for the acoustics and the echoes to bounce off of, surrounded by the melodic, haunting sound of it all. Yeah, I'd probably cry.

[kneworder]

angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)

[stillresolved]

guys i have a dilemma, and when i say i have a dilemma, i mean it's not even close to one but i like validation fjsdlkfsj....but what if i changed mana's rl fc to ver.onica n.go??

[itwoodbeprefect]

in strange bedfellows (1965) gina lollobrigida spends a good chunk of the runtime fighting america for an artist's freedom to depict a horse dong on a sculpture without having to cover it up with a fig leaf, and i think that's the easiest way to summarize why i ultimately prefer the two gina lollobrigida-rock hudson romcom collabs over the three doris day-rock hudson ones. doris day characters would never

[sxturdaysun]

actually, since the iteration of me that's with saturday is just. Me with no additives. i'm adding in whatever the hell happened today with the job i was applying for into her lore. that was the catalyst for her moving + getting her silly little bookstore job that eventually led to us meeting. dodged a bullet and a blessing in disguise all in one <3

[midwestblue]

long post about the current stage of my mental health recovery! brief sui mention but I wouldn't say its negative!

I often think about the fact that im trying to make things better and how me from just a year ago would be so proud. To be honest, I wasn't trying to get better back then. Things are still bad, of course, but I'm not actively making them worse out of guilt or because I think I deserve it. I ruined a lot of good relationships, I stopped taking care of my health, I didn't go out and interact with the world, I stopped trying to form new relationships, and overall I just wanted to die (I think I'll always be suicidal, but I haven't planned attempts in quite a long while. This is the longest I've gone without doing it I think!)

I used to strongly believe that I deserved this pain – that every terrible thing that's happened to me was because I was worthless, horrible, and a disappointment. I didn't want to look into why I was feeling that why, who made me feel that way, and what I could do to stop it. I just thought I was terrible, and that was that! There's no saving this basket case! There's no good qualities here! but that's not the truth at all. I excused my terrible actions because I thought that's all that I was – a disgusting person and nothing more. I expected people to accept my awfulness because they should know I'm terrible too. That was never fair to the people in my life who didn't see me in that way, who were nothing but kind and open and truthful with me. Who loved me despite how I viewed myself. I hurt a lot of people in my life, including myself. Whenever I would do something terrible, I would always tell myself that this is who I was, that im worthless and I don't deserve anyones kindness, that they'll realize soon enough how disgusting I am and leave me, etc etc. but in doing that, I cemented the lie that I can't get better, and I'll always hurt people. So I didn't try to be anything more. I didn't try to do anything more. I was ok with being mentally ill. This was my only defense against my own pain. I didn't think there was a way I could get better or heal, and I don't think I wanted to, either. I thought I was a lost cause. I've been so cruel to myself and others, and I don't want to be this way anymore. I'm going to get better even if it kills me. Even if it's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. This year has been one of the most difficult years of my life, but it's also been one full of healing, friendships, and growth. I have a very long way to go. I don't want to sit here and act like I'm not mentally ill anymore or that I've become this saint of a person compared to who I was years ago, but I'm trying. I'm trying every single day to be better than who I was before. When I was younger, all I was doing was trying to die. I thought it was the only answer. But now I want to live. desperately, I want to live. Despite how the world is, I want to live. No matter how much I think about ending my life or how much I hate the situations I'm in, I still want to live. I still want to have hope. I really do want to get better

[brookheimer]

It makes sense for them to include the pregnancy plot line but it doesn’t make it good or revolutionary and I think that’s such a shallow take on the situation. Her entire storyline has been the whole “if only she was a man” thing, where her main plot lines have been hating other woman, fighting with her husband, and now being pregnant. If the only thing we end up knowing about Shiv’s desires and life revolve around her child, that’s not revolutionary at all. Kendall has kids, but he is also a fully fleshed out character that can exist outside of that. Acting like “strong girlboss lead who has never accomplished anything in the show and is reminded of how her womanhood limits everything she does has to reconcile the way her body and ability to become pregnant can also be weaponized against her” is actually a fucked up storyline. It doesn’t make it bad, the entire show is a fucked up storyline, but it’s not some beautiful win for feminism

wooooah okay i was not at all saying her entire desires and life would revolve around her kid but rather that being pregnant forces her to self-reflect on the fact that she is not, in fact, a man, which would likely have important implications for her relationships with both the men and the women in her life, help us understand her interiority better (which right now we don't because she's always been very very dedicated to convincing herself she's something she isn't -- it would help HER understand her interiority better too), and overall just be kind of the catalyst for introspection in a way shiv hasn't been, like, provoked to do before. also i'm not saying it's inherently good or revolutionary just because they included a pregnancy plot! i'm saying that it has the POTENTIAL TO BE, which it does.

as always under the mf cut

'“strong girlboss lead who has never accomplished anything in the show and is reminded of how her womanhood limits everything she does has to reconcile the way her body and ability to become pregnant can also be weaponized against her” is actually a fucked up storyline' .....i don't understand. for one thing, i did not say jackshit about her pregnancy being weaponized against her. that is not at all what i was saying she had to reconcile with. i was saying she had to reconcile with the fact that she simply will not be seen as a man, and that maybe that's okay, and maybe she can still be a ~girlboss~ while still yknow being a girl. why are yall acting like pregnancy is this inherently agency-robbing thing that only exists to ruin the characterizations of strong women? you do know that it exists in real life, right? like, is this what you think about women who are pregnant in real life? because, like, everything you just described is just... i mean, that's not unique to this plot point. that's just part and parcel of being born with a womb. that's just fucking LIFE. that's just how shit IS sometimes. like YES you can be a strong girlboss and still not accomplish anything because a) you're a woman surrounded by men b) you're desperately attempting to act like a man and in reality are only performing a parody of 'masculinity' that's more harmful to you than it is helpful, but you feel it's the only way to survive, YES your womanhood limits everything you does (so long as 'everything' means 'success in your male-dominated career aspirations among your misogynistic family'), YES your body and ability to become pregnant can be weaponized. that's not inherently a fucked up sexist plotline? that's just how life is for a lot of women???? so why the fuck is it bad to show a woman struggling to reconcile with that FACT because it is a fucking FACT?! it is a FACT that women are judged for being pregnant!!! it is not a fucked up plotline to acknowledge that!!!!! what WOULD BE fucked up is centering her entire character around becoming a mother or something, which i just really fucking doubt they'll do. instead, i think it'll be used as a way to explore parts of shiv we haven't seen.

also, saying shiv's main plot lines have been "hating other women, fighting with her husband, and now being pregnant" .... like. i don't know man. did you kind of forget the part where she was a political consultant or fighting to become ceo of a major conglomerate or something? i would maybe argue that... well, that fighting to become ceo of waystar is her main plot line. not... hating other women? really, the only thing we know about shiv's life and desires is that she wants to be fucking ceo of waystar so she can get logan's approval. that is it. that is why i would like to know more about her PERSONAL life. about her PERSONAL wants and needs and desires -- maybe it's to have kids, maybe it's to never fucking have kids whatsoever and jetset around the world. i don't care!!! i just want to learn more about whatever is underneath her veneer of 'masculinity,' whatever is outside of her relationships with men. aaaaaaaaaaand i think having to deal with something as personal and body-focused and life-changing as a pregnancy will force her to ask questions about herself she's always been too afraid to ask, and i'm interested to see what the answers are!!!

it's not revolutionary to have a pregnancy plotline. fucking obviously. what WOULD be revolutionary is allowing a character who has defined herself by, as you said, wishing she was a man -- allowing her to still be her same ole manipulative masculine whatever self while still allowing her to consider a life involving a family or love. just consider!!!! because i don't think she even has. her focus is ONLY on career, on success, on being respected. like, actually, the only aspects of her 'desires' etc that we DONT know are those related to love and family. we know what she wants career wise! why are you acting like she hasn't been incredibly career-focused this entire time? i just want to know what shiv roy wants on a human level!!! because i don't think anyone is JUST SATISFIED with career!!!!! not saying you need kids, god no idek if i'll have kids fr, but that there is more to life outside of that. so i want to know what she wants from life, because frankly, i don't think she's had the time or energy to even focus on that with how desperately she's had to fight to stay in the room. but now she has to actually start considering herself as an individual with a life outside waystar -- something she really hasn't done since she worked for gil in season one. ever since, her life has been waystar waystar waystar. but pregnancy.... well. that's something that's her own, especailly given that no one else knows about it right now. so i want to know more about shiv. that's all. and that's what i think this arc can tell us, and that's why i'm excited for it.

[timelessbibliophile]

why do these people keep saying Gina 1.0 and Gina 2.0?? Do the writers think teenagers talk like that regularly? I've literally never heard anyone say that irl.

Imagine if i went on saying that my rina shipping self was kitty 1.0 and my portwell shipping self was kitty 2.0. it sounds ridiculous-

[doppelnatur]

Can you believe I'm gonna enroll in some random stuff to save money?

[antifragi1e]

i like my new crush i just hate it when i Finally accept that i do

[prettypangolins]

The dream of living with or very near a friend where I can use my skills to do a swap that covers for my deficits.

i.e. I do a phonecall on your behalf, I am paid with a nice little meal

I can do phonecalls!* But I can't do the complicated thing of making food happen with any degree of consistency or reliability. Plus food always tastes nicer when someone's made it for you.

*I can do 'business' calls to make appointments, discover opening times, place and chase up orders, and sometimes even complain, but please don't ever make me have a social conversation on a telephone I will shrivel up and die. If there is an automated voice part I will also shrivel up and die but in a far more vigorous and spectacular manner

[vintagecandyshop]

well its my birthday and all i want more than anything is the ability to  coldly reject a man without feeling guilt or the need to appear nice

[neil-gaiman]

hey neil idk if you’re the best person to ask but i would like to think you have some sadge advice or something. as an introvert how do you deal with going to funerals and that whole interaction with people trying to support people and people trying to support you? It’s all strange and weird to me. thanks.

You remind yourself that this is not a usual thing for anyone, and that everyone is dealing with their own personal reactions to what's happened, with grief or loss or just the weirdness of it all. And you look after yourself.

And take refuge in things that people say. "I'm sorry for your loss", or "May their memory be a blessing" or "Thank you so much" when people offer their own condolences. It's formulaic but it works.

[maipareshaan]

I throw up in my mouth a little when i read the words 'found family'