#I'm sure their relationship in canon is not this pathological

[the-matron-of-ravens]

Genuinely curious, what are your thoughts on Dancer and FCG cuz like, he Literally, not figuratively, tried to kill her and did kill all of her companions at the time. I can see being critical cuz she doesn't seem to treat them like sentient beings, but even in the canon... most of the automatons aren't. Just some of the really old ones from Aeor/other old cities, right? So? She got a whoops!sentient microwave, treated them like a microwave, they killed all her friends and almost her and she's supposed to....? Be good buds with them? Also I know it's said that she trauma dumped on FCG, but let's switch it from microwave to personal journal - how would YOU feel if your personal journal popped to life and attacked you for trauma dumping? IDK haha I guess Idk you opinions and I'm just responding to my projected assumptions of your opinion. REALLY I'd 100% sincerely would like to hear your thoughts. I was really bothered by FCG pushing to meet with Dancer. Like jeez just leave her alone, you're her literal sleep paralysis demon, read the room.

Hey! Thanks for the ask, I put this a little bit in the tags but I can elaborate more here. (Edit: elaborate A LOT MORE it seems)

So here goes, I don’t know if you meant it this way but the analogy of a journal or microwave is helpful here because that’s exactly how Dancer treated FCG - as a tool to be used. But they *aren’t*. FCG is a whole being with emotions and thoughts all of which are apparent and so clearly distinct from other automatons.

So tbh, I think the perspective of “whoops! Sentient bot” makes sense for like a month, max. Not years. After all, we have seen NPC after NPC recognize FCG is a sentient being almost immediately after meeting him. I find it VERY hard to believe that Dancer never realized it herself.

Additionally, we need to step out of the plot itself and look at FCG’s mechanics. We know that every time he heals, takes damage for someone else, etc. he takes stress points, and that once past a certain threshold his switch flips and he goes full Murderbot.

We also know that rest and recovery are what reduces FCG’s stress points. So that tells us that Dancer was using and using and using FCG and not letting him rest (enough? At all?) even though he needed it. Because again he’s a person not a tool.

Even when they met back up recently and FCG sobered her up she remarked how she missed him doing that for her. And while I don’t expect her to miss him, I do think it’s indicative of her interest in him never being about him as a person but only how he could serve her.

And if we want to criticize FCG for his lack of boundaries, inability to take no for an answer and pathological need to fix Dancer sure that’s fair. He needs to unlearn a lot of that and quick. But we then have to ask ourselves where did those traits come from? They didn’t come from nowhere.

FCG is mentally extremely YOUNG. Aside from the 6?-ish Months spent with Ashton all he remembers is his time with Dancer. So, if FCG has a pathological need to fix others, to help them, and feels worthless if he’s unable to do so - that comes from how Dancer treated and trained him.

That doesn’t just go away; ESPECIALLY not when FCG doesn’t even remember going postal and doesn’t see to have the (IMO) most clear and realistic view of his and Dancer’s relationship.

After all look how he interacts with the Changebringer. She’s his surrogate Mom/Dancer. He needs someone to tell him how to feel, think, and what’s Good and Bad because he doesn’t know how to do it for himself - because he wasn’t *taught* to.

But here’s my real question. What do we call one person keeping another person in service to them, with no compensation or personhood to be had, and with no intentions of releasing that person from that service? That’s slavery my dude. AT BEST indentured servitude.

(but that implies there’s a debt. What debt? Waking him up? He didn’t ask for that; that was her choice.

And again this sounds a lot like children being “indebted” to parents for giving them life, housing, feeding, etc. )

That’s the part I can’t get over. And that’s the part I can’t get behind where FCG is the abusive one. The power differential was NEVER in FCG’s court; he never once thought of himself as a person or as anything but in service of “Soul Touched”. That complete sacrifice of yourself and your needs (or an inability to even know you HAVE needs) comes from being in relationships where those things are expected/demanded.

So, yeah, he literally tried to kill her, and I gotta be real I’m not surprised. Even children of abusive parents who they love snap sometimes. Because again, that’s mentally what he was at the time. A child.

But even then, no I don’t think it’s unreasonable or unrealistic for Dancer to be traumatized or not want to see FCG again. I don’t even think she’s wrong to say “I can’t give you closure” because closure isn’t something other people give you.

But the way she’s been discussed to be largely clueless about his sentience, blameless in his blow up, and FCG’s victim? I just can’t get behind that. Like at all.

[silenthillmutual]

Should I play Pathologic Classic, or Pathologic 2?

That depends. How do you feel about visual novels and a little bit of jank? If that's not for you, Pathologic 2 is probably your best bet. Though if I can, I'd like to make a case for playing Classic anyway.

You might have heard a lot of things about Pathologic Classic HD. You might have heard that it's janky. You might have heard that it's ugly. You might have heard that it's nigh-impossible to play. Worst of all, you might have heard that it's not fun, and what's the point in playing a game that isn't fun?

I'm not here to argue about aesthetics or even for the value of negative experiences in gaming. If you'd like to have a philosophical debate about what it means to have fun, by all means, go ahead - plenty of us do enjoy the time we've spent playing Classic. Fun isn't, after all, an objective experience. What I am here to do, however, is tell you that the game is not impossible. Difficult? Sure. Tedious? Sometimes. A lot of walking? You have no idea! But isn't impossible.

(Even without cheating. But we'll talk more about that later.)

Both games are fantastic in their own right, but I don't believe enough people give Classic a chance, and Pathologic 2 is not a substitute for Classic. This is, in part, because Pathologic 2 is not finished. Only one route out of three [at the time of writing this] has been released. Even if it were - the metanarrative of the game is different. The characters and their relationships are different. The town is different. To me, the two aren't even the same game.

Pathologic 2 isn't exactly a sequel, nor is it exactly a remake. It's sort of a re-imagining. The kind of game Silent Hill: Shattered Memories wishes it was. And no one plays Shattered Memories and thinks, "I've basically played Silent Hill." Although as someone who has fixated on Silent Hill for over a decade, I can also confidently say that Pathologic 2 is not the insane bastardization that Shattered Memories is. Not to mention that Classic regularly goes on sale for under $2, so if you can give a two hour long YouTube video your attention, you can give Classic a shot.

I watched the Hbomb video, so I know everything I need to know about Classic, right?

Oh boy.

No, you don't. If you're looking for substitution videos, Pathologic For Those Who Will Never Play It is closer to what you need. Though as much as I love that video, I still urge to you either play the game yourself or watch a Let's Play of it. I know of three: SulMatul, Laila Dyer, and Keith Ballard; the latter two are blind LPs.

Why do I insist you play this game for yourself? Because it's a role-playing game. You wouldn't get the same experience of watching someone else's build in Disco Elysium as you would with your own, and the same is true here. Yes, it's more of a book than a lot of other RPGs you might have played, but part of the charm of the game is playing it the way you want to, and all that entails.

You might be thinking to yourself, "Well, no one can tell I've only seen the Hbomb video!" I regret to inform you that yes, we can absolutely tell.

Play the game.

Okay, fine, I'll play Pathologic Classic. Which route should I start with?

That's up to you, but I will say that people start with the Bachelor's route for a reason. He's an outsider to the Town, so you're more likely to get lore that wouldn't be available to the Haruspex. And the Town is strange, so that's information that you'll want. His route is also a little easier than the Haruspex's route, and the Changeling's won't be available to you yet.

If you do opt to start with the Haruspex's route, more power to you. Just keep in mind that his route isn't the only interpretation of events. In fact, no one route to the game is the only interpretation of events. Characters will be different from playthrough to playthrough, and it doesn't make one route more canon than another.

Any other tips?

Yes, actually! Quite a few:

Look at the controls before you start the game! The GOG release of the game comes with a manual - that'll be on your computer under Program Files -> GOG -> Games -> Pathologic. I couldn't find one on the Steam release, but you can find it here. Going through your options will let you turn off things like motion blur (which may help the game run better and make you feel less ill), but also get familiar with the key bindings. I've talked to a quite a few people who didn't realize the Bachelor had a plaguefinder or a torch.

Prioritize your daily quest. If you fail to complete your daily quest, one of your Bound will do it for you and they will get infected. This constitutes a fail state for you. You may not be able to get every side quest accomplished the first time you play the game, but as long as you make sure to complete the daily quest done you will be fine.

Make sure to check your letters! The game will make a little noise and a symbol will pop up on the bottom left hand side of the screen when you get mail. Doing this is very important - but don't let this be the only way you get information! Explore, talk to people, check on your Bound every day. Not every quest is going to come to you in form of a letter.

Buy food and supplies before you need them. That stuff is expensive, and prices fluctuate every day.

Loot everything you can! Every garbage bin you pass, every infected house you enter, every mugger you kill. Trading is important for getting things like medicine without paying for it, and selling off what you can't use can get you extra money. You will especially need empty bottles for water to trade with the town drunks. (And for trading - you'll have to click on your own inventory, then the other characters, and then hit the 'v' button.) Learn which NPCs will trade for which items, know their value so that you're never empty-handed in case you come across, say, a shmowder...

Save like hell. Constantly. If an upcoming conversation seems important, save right before you go into it. On Steam, F5 is a quicksave (you can have 2). There will be times when you'll screw yourself over on a conversation. Sometimes you learn more this way, but sometimes this means you can't continue a quest. It's a trial-and-error thing.

You are going to get infected. You should, of course, do what you can to avoid infection, but it's highly unlikely you'll make it through any route without getting infected at least once. It happens.

Daniil's plaguefinder will show you where the plague clouds are, and that can be helpful! Unfortunately, the other two don't have access to this device, so it's best to just try and remember where the plague clouds are. They don't change from route to route.

As Artemy and Clara - you cannot buy any herbs from the Odonghe that you do not have in your inventory. As any healer, you cannot buy things if you have no room in your inventory.

Looking to cheat? I won't tell anyone. Hit the ` key for console commands. 'god' will turn on godmode, 'fly on' / 'fly off' will enable flying (not the same as Pathologic 2's flycam!). 'propf 6995 disease 0' will cure you of Sand Plague (for the Haruspex and Changeling; 6986 is the Bachelor's code). Oh, and if you're going to use godmode, you should know that you cannot sleep if your health is at 0. Just apply a bandage and you'll be good to go.

Oh, yeah, and - don't eat the nuts. They do jack for your hunger. They're there for trading.

What difficulty should I play Pathologic 2 on?

Everyone has their own ideas and rules about how to play the game and on what you should or should not do on your first playthrough. A lot of people insist on playing Pathologic 2 on intended difficulty for the first runthrough, and I tend to agree with that. Even with upgraded graphics and improved controls, this game isn't intended to be easy or combat-driven. The difficulty sliders even say that the game is intended to be "almost unbearable."

That being said - your threshold for "almost unbearable" may be different from mine or someone else's. If the game is too easy for you, make it harder. If you're struggling to the point of wanting to quit, make it easier. Yes, someone will be disappointed in you. Not me though. I don't particularly care, and you shouldn't either. You are the one playing the game, not anybody else. If you're looking for someone's permission to make things easier on yourself, I'm here to give it to you. Some people just aren't good at video games, and there's no shame in that.

But keep in mind that this game is meant to be played multiple times. See how far you can get with the intended difficulty. You can always change it on your next playthrough.

General tips for this game?

Save scumming is harder for this game, and also kind of a waste of time. It doesn't undo your deaths, so you may as well just live with the consequences of your actions. As the loading screen notes, this sometimes makes things more interesting.

Your deaths will, by the way, have consequences on your gameplay. So try not to die.

There is no differentiation between Daily Quest and Side Quest. It's up to you to prioritize. Don't worry too much about completing every quest on the day it's given, either. You're not intended to.

Upgrading your inventory is incredibly important! Things will stack, but only to a certain degree. You can no longer carry 100+ bottles of water at a time. You also won't want to trade all your water away for bandages; you'll heal from sleeping. The water you'll need to make tinctures.

As always, you'll want to be frugal with your money. Unlike in Classic, however, you can barter with most NPCs for food, so your options aren't as limited. Do still buy nuts whenever you get the option to; they're worth more in trading than needles, which can also be used to pick small locks.

Since I've seen some confusion about this - prophyalxis is giving the Bound immunity boosters or tinctures. You won't just have your own list to take care of, though they'll be the most important. No, you're responsible for most of the named characters in the game. Get a feel for which medications work best, and then decide who gets the best treatment. You can't save everyone... without cheating.

Speaking of cheating - that works differently in Pathologic 2. To access the console, you'll have to hold down Control + Shift + F4. You can use flycam, but this is really only to take pictures; it does not move the character to whatever location you are flying to. What you'll probably want access to more is curing yourself of the plague, or turning on immortality. Both are located under Inspector -> PlayerUpdater -> Updatable. The two Elements you'll be most concerned about are Element 0 (the town) and Element 3 (the abattoir). For immortality, you'll expand the folder and change the aspect from False to True. For Infection, you'll expand the folder and change the element to 0 (for no infection). The wiki has a list of the commands for getting items.

And, I cannot stress this enough, buy the bull.

Why does the fandom ship the Bachelor and the Haruspex? They hate each other!

In one route of one game that you are statistically unlikely to have started (3.2% of all Steam players), let alone finished (2.3% of all Steam players). Even if the majority of their interactions were negative - which they aren't - that wouldn't stop people from shipping them. Have you seen how popular Hannibal is? That show ended five years ago and people are still making Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter content.

Though some people do like the ship from that antagonistic angle, the main reason probably stems from two places. The first is that they are narrative foils, and people love to ship narrative foils. Different enough to cause friction, similar enough to connect. The second is the first thing Daniil says to Artemy in the Haruspex route, around 5PM on Day 1:

Yes... Far be it from me to call myself a person of mystical inclinations. However, when I look at you, I get the feeling that nature is playing jokes on us. It's as if both the left and right hand have clutched the head to realize for the first time that they are two parts of a single whole.

Which reads like a reference to the myth that soulmates once shared a body and were split apart. This is how Artemy's first interaction with Daniil starts, and is immediately followed by Daniil raising his reputation entirely and allowing Artemy to sleep in his bed. There's more I could say but, honestly? Play the game and figure it out.

Why do so many people read the Bachelor as trans?

Good question! A lot of his fans happen to be trans, and that probably plays a large part in it. Some get gender envy from his design - ridiculous as a lot of people think it is, I know I'd dress like that if I could afford it. His cravat pin, which the wiki calls a snake, looks alarmingly like a uterus. He's short. His Pathologic 2 incarnation has that hideous bowl haircut that a lot of us had at some point in time in our transition. Most importantly, his goal of defeating death is implied to be a matter of bodily autonomy, for people to choose when it's their time to die, and that's very transgender of him.

It also doesn't hurt that his designer, Meethos, is trans.

If you're wondering why the reading isn't as prominent for the other two healers, I don't know. The headcanons are out there, but for some reason, the fanwork isn't. Be the change you wish to see, as they say.

Why does the Bachelor talk in random Latin?

Why are all these questions about Dankovsky? Anyway, it's not random! It's topical. It's also almost always a common saying - you can find most of them on Wikipedia. Why does he do it? To show off, probably. He's pretentious, what else is there to know?

What's with all the fanfic getting that guy pregnant?

Yeah sorry that's my fault.

What's with the interpretation of him as autistic?

Also my fault.

Why are people so insistent that the Haruspex is gay?

Finally, some diversity! I should correct you, though: I think the prevailing reading is that he's bisexual.

There's a lot of reasons to read him as bi, particularly in Pathologic 2. Don't get me wrong, there are instances in Classic that come across as not-straight; the aforementioned hands line? Artemy can reply that he feels the same. But in Pathologic 2, he gets tender moments with his (now) childhood friends Bad Grief and Stakh Rubin, where the former starts to ask him to run away together and he convinces the latter not to leave with the army. He even attempts to convince the Bachelor to stay in town in both the Nocturnal and Diurnal endings. Aglaya is the canon romance option in both games (for as much as the tragic narrative will allow), but people also read romance into Artemy's interactions with Lara. Hence, the bisexuality.

bonus links:

Daniil Dankovsky (dot com!)

Artemy Burakh (dot com!)

Respect the Kin

Steppe Language Dictionary

Spoiler-free Bachelor Route walkthrough

Spoiler-free Haruspex Route walkthrough

Spoiler-free Changeling Route walkthrough

[rathologic]

hi there, you run a great blog!! i was wondering if you have any advice or suggestions on how to responsibly/respectfully get into patho and patho2? as in, do you think there are any things a new fan should keep in mind while playing (i.e. with the grooming allegations, i have also seen racism and misogyny mentioned)

honestly i'm not entirely sure what i'm asking for help with here, but maybe just resources that further discuss the shitty views/opinions/actions of dyb that taint aspects of the game? thank you so much

hey! it really is going to depend on your personal tolerance for these aspects. racism is a major in-world topic discussed by the games, but also thoroughly present within the storytelling the franchise presents, so there's a fair amount of nuance; the elements of misogyny and pedophilia are just visible throughout. if you're at least passingly familiar with such topics, you'll be able to recognize and think critically about their presence as you get into the games (if you decide to at all)

baseline recommendation is always "don't pay for pathologic 2". Ice-Pick Lodge is not financially struggling, 2's racist and misogynistic elements are more pervasive and widespread than the first game's, and the mainstream praise it receives (unduly) goes straight to dyb's reputation as a writer. honestly I would not recommend paying for patho1 either but it usually sells for $1, so if that's justifiable to you... in no particular order here's some things to have in mind:

"tl;dr just respect the kin" is a Google doc outlining some ways that anti-Indigenous beliefs show up in the fanbase, and touches slightly on racist aspects of the games, like the p1 butcher models

look through the patho1 character ages, and keep the large age gaps in all of the m/f relationships in mind (patho2 just doesn't have canon ages)

this patho1 mod gets rid of a pedophilic dialogue exchange, and removes dybowski's face from the player screen; highly recommend that desktop users install it

my #p2crit tag is mostly very informal complaints about the writing and mechanics of pathologic 2, but there are a few decent critical points in it (though also many game spoilers, so don't look through this first!)

one of those points is that the herb bride (and Eva's) model textures in p2 include their genitals, as like. a baseline for how the game regards women

also new fans should Really be aware that rubin was being adopted into the burakh family in patho1. a lot of people, willfully or unknowingly, post pseudo-incest of him with the haruspex; it's a gray area in p2, but foul with the original designs

and some resources re: dybowski:

turaform's regarding nikolay dybowski is a video summarizing the grooming allegations, and describing the events by which they became known to the western fanbase- it was made in april 2021 soon after the news became widespread, but to my knowledge remains the most thorough explanation

this post links to the document of tweets referenced (the version with identifying information removed)

this post cites part of an interview with dybowski (at ~32:00 in the video), about how attractive he finds a young-looking naked girl model from the making of The Void, IPL's game about naked girls

in the society of dead poets is another interview not directly related, but I think it's worthwhile background that dyb's great-grandfather married his great-grandmother, a chinese woman, when he was >60 and she was 20 (page 57)

from all that you'll see patterns in the franchise, especially a tendency towards "beautiful woman gets killed young" (the Feverish Feeling ARG, in between games, is also fundamentally this), and be able to make your own judgements about its treatment of the Kin. maybe it just won't be acceptable to you! a lot of people have left the fanbase from discomfort or frustration, and that's completely understandable. I only hold that it's more valuable for people who are comfortable engaging at all to discuss and circulate discussion of patho's harmful aspects than to let them be only praised as profound & perfect narratives in the public eye :~)

[yellowocaballero]

just rereading your reverse robins au...i have to say, i don't think anyone understands tim drake like you do. by far the most superior reverse robins au to ever exist. and it's not like tim is the only character you understand either! you get them all! it's earthshattering & spectacular.

I would love to demur and go "oh, surely I'm not the only one who understands Tim Drake and writes a suitably unhinged Tim just as unhinged as in the comics -"

No. I am. You guys need to shape up about writing Tim. What is with this sadboy 'I just want a family' 'where's my coffee' woobie stuff. Go back and read the comics. This man is fucking insane.

I've talked before on this blog about how I finagled writing a Tim who is very much unlike any Tim, but who still feels the same. The man REALLY canonically has an addictive/obsessive personality (complete with deeply escapist tendencies and disregard for if the object of addiction is dangerous/bad for him - it is the profile of an addict). We feel that, because it's his personality in the comics, and even though no sane person would write the kid with a coke addiction we still vibe that it fits with what we know of him. Sometimes choosing to write somebody DRASTICALLY out of character can get down into the core of the character better than anything else.

In fanfic people write Tim as perpetually seeking a family, and I think on one level it's true - he LOVED Dick's (guilty.) attention and brotherhood. But I don't think he really had a father relationship with Bruce and I don't think he really wanted it. Man literally tried to falsify an uncle so he wouldn't have to suffer adult supervision. Bruce kept him at an emotional arms length because of Jason. When his dad tried to reconnect with Tim as a teenager, Tim did love him and felt guilty for the discord he caused, but he just straight up wasn't emotionally invested in the relationship(and not really for abuse reasons - comic split between bad parents/abusive parents is uhh ill-done, but I think Jack is almost never written as an abusive parent with authorial intent, which imho is the important thing). Tim holds adults and family figures at arms length. He's close with Young Justice, but they never even know his ID - he loves them, but he's not intimate with them. He is a cold person and he never really tries for anything different, when he has something different he has NO idea what to do with it, and I don't think he really wants it. But like that doesn't fit Batman sad baby adoption narrative soooo

I think at the end of the day what Tim is defined by is loss and absence, and it can never be defined by presence because Tim is no longer a person who can accept that. He is the single most interconnected character in the Batfam (DC was pushing for a lot of #teenheroes at the time and he was buddies with ALL of them), but all of those relationships have an absence where Tim is pathologically incapable of vulnerability. His life is comedically, comic book sad - he has lost a dad, a mom, a step-mom, an adoptive dad (400% PARENTAL MORTALITY RATE), a girlfriend, a best friend, and another best friend. That is NUTS. And cuz comics are kinda whatever about things, he just goes on his way. Comics don't acknowledge these things. But what you end up with is a Tim, who one way or another is always alone, and who always accepts that.

I couldn't quite express everything I wanted to express with Tim in the prophetic spring, but by the Cass story I had improved as a writer enough to show what I wanted to show. Tim is an old character with a lot of stuff going on, so I could basically pick any emotional throughline I wanted, but I picked for me what I think has defined his life. Tim's story was about a child who had been depressed since he could remember. Tim is the story of a lot of victims of emotional neglect and who live their lives in deep depression that is never acknowledged. He is never vulnerable for a second (even with Cass - and that's what Cass struggles with during that story, how vulnerability isn't knowing but saying), and the depression is sublimated/repressed and never acknowledged cuz Bruce does the same damn thing and he didn't notice lol.

In a way, in that story, Tim's mental health and drug addiction spiral is a good thing. Tim loudly and publicly developing a drug addiction was his way of asking for help, his way of finally screaming that he was in pain. Worst possible way. But it was kind of the only way he could, because Tim didn't know how to ask for help, because he didn't know how to be vulnerable. He could only figure out how to be push everybody away and try to violently throw them out of his life and how to be cruel to them, and it's fucked up that it was his way of asking for help - but Cass knew, and Cass understood. And Cass wasn't going to ignore it anymore.

There are a lot of insanely reliable things about me and it is that I CANNOT shut up when I talk about Tim. Thanks for reading this long-ass diatribe jakldfjlasdf.

[moboxcritique]

Hey, so there was mentions of cultc0re. And no one seems to mention about the other things they did so I'll mention them (even if you knew, I'll still say it to anyone who doesn't know)

If blurry is actually still friends with Cultc0re, that's really bad, especially since blurry complains about people harassing him and shit, little does he know Cultc0re goes under that criteria, with evidence too (not from us though, victims have come out about their experiences with Cultc0re)

First of all, not only did Cultc0re steal Kev's OCS like.. 3-4 times and tried to sell one of them, and harassed their ex's and even stolen money and **DOXXED THEIR EXS IP ADDRESS**

Cultc0re is a exposed groomer, and has forced(?) A minor (a 17yo) to drink alcohol with them and possibly aimed to get them drunk (I'm not sure if drugs is included since Cultc0re makes it public on twitter that they get high especially with their friends, but alcohol was definitely involved) alongside as Cultc0re has dated a minor, some sexual context in their relationship might've been involved too. But I can't remember much, but this was all revealed in a doc about Cultc0re! Here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FEy02v4rOvL4Ej-u9MniuKFUU3BiFSjNQhKrduQC8Dg/edit

(all I kept in mind was Cultc0re being a groomer and made a minor drunk. I don't have time to read the doc but if there was more information on that part, please do include it!)

Cultc0re has doxxed one of their ex's address, and threatened them before. But their recent ex, who was groomed by Cultc0re; would always deny or claim that their relationship wasn't predatory while they were dating, and he would get very angry whenever someone would try to tell him about the red flags within the relationship. But apparently, it was predatory regardless, especially since Cultc0re made him drink alcohol and get drunk while he was underaged

As this blog has mentioned too (I think) Cultc0re made a truce with me and Kev, but Cultc0re faked the truce entirely as they didn't take us seriously. They were meant to apologize to me and Kev for spreading false allegations about us and for stealing Kev's OCS, but instead they got their (ex) partner to make the apology post and to handle the truce, instead of cultc0re actually taking responsibility themselves. Uhh there was more information on this but my brain is being a bit foggy.

But yeah, Cultc0re is a exposed groomer, stole their ex's money, doxxed, they're a proshipper, manipulated their ex's, pathological liar, got a minor drunk, openly does drugs, Yada Yada, cultcore had to make a different social account because of the doc made about them. I expected blurry to at least know that, but honestly I'm not surprised since blurry is still friends with now two exposed predatory artists and has done nothing about it whatsoever. I don't care what he has to say about Kev, he shouldn't be saying about ANYTHING if he's still frequently talking to a literal groomer who has made a minor drunk, alongside with them stealing OCS and other bad things. The doc should have evidence too.

Apparently Cultc0re stole one of Kev's OCS and has said so to us that it was more like a payback or a "taste of your own medicine" since because it was at the time when blurry deleted all of his socials "because of us". so I also suspect blurry was apart of that. I could be wrong, but they were talking frequently back then, they might still be talking now.

Unfortunately, the only things we really have evidence of from the doc are of Cultc0re's proship stuff from 2020:

The address Cultc0re used to dox their ex was found out to be fake, but there is proof of them stealing money from both of their exes. Zavrozo brought it up in this post here, but it was shown in a doc here and on twitter recently here

About the Bullet Train stuff, Cultc0re uses book canon but uses the movie designs for them. We've asked them to make their own designs for them since the movie designs are adoptive siblings in canon. They said they would change it, but they never did

In fact, they had posted these a few days after we asked them that, though after these were posted they said they would ship Tangbug instead... Which is apparently still a toxic pairing but ok-:

Also yes, Cultc0re still talks to Blurry, they're still friends. Kev showed us a screenshot of a convo they had recently 'cause Cultc0re wanted to talk to her after what happened with @fon-non-grata (the critique blog of Blurry's story made by the creators of the Blurry doc: Zavrozo and Rukkula):

(If you want to "stop being in drama", then why post the false accusations against the critique blog in the first place??? That doesn't make any sense!)

[punkbakugo]

i'm pretty sure i've talked abt this a bit before but it's so obnoxious the way some people act like if a person likes romance and likes to find romance in dynamics not expressly intended to be romantic it must mean they have some pathological inability to understand the concept of platonic affection. like there are ways to discuss society's views on relationships and romance without just shitting on people who like shipping and non-canon ships

[hextechmaturgy]

Do you have any headcanons for how Grief and Andrey's relationship is like? What do you think Andrey has done for the town's criminals? (i saw your tags on the voice lines reblog)

OH FRIEND...... YOU HONOR ME WITH THIS ASK YOU DO..... i got so excited to answer. i'm actually writing an angrief fic atm spanning from when they meet to when the game ends, but because i'm a very very very slow writer it's not coming out anytime soon. if you're interested tho wink i'd be happy to send u a very short sneak peak in dms wink

regarding headcanons tho, i'll try to be concise but honestly i have many unorganized thoughts and feelings about those two. should also be said that i have a timeline in my head for pre-game events that probably doesn't match canon at all, but it makes sense TO ME and time in pathologic is more of a suggestion anyway sooo hihi let's go

andrey is a bit older than grief; they meet at age 19/20. artemy is leaving and grief's losing his friends, his family. he's turning to gangs for company, which only further alienates him from lara and stakh. andrey is making friends for once, a rare thing after years on the run. his head's full of ideas, ideas that someone actually wants to hear, it's exhilarating. they meet at a plot of land where a staircase will stand one day, both immediately clocking Each Other™️, but the knowing looks go beyond a tick in their gaydar. andrey is a free man and grief wants to be free, desperately so, but he's also afraid. what will it cost him? grief fears the unknown, the steppe curses that keep him up at night, the scorn of his friends and the abandonment, the unknown. it's hard to be authentic, isn't it? andrey sees this struggle, understands the want to fight, the want for freedom. andrey tells him it's okay to want

that first meeting emboldens grief, sustains him when his family breaks for good. they don't see each other for months, and a lot changes for the two of them, but they still remember and all too well. andrey asked to see him again, grief is reluctant. just meeting the man was already impactful enough, he's relived it so often, lost in dreams. but he feels bold, andrey makes him bold. he finds andrey bleeding at his own bar. he needs stitches somewhere he can't reach, won't you help me out, sweet filin? he does. his hand trembles, his stitches are terrible. odd thing, piercing skin, sinking into another man's flesh. hope this doesn't awake anything in him!!!

(spoiler: it absolutely does)

it's probably not a huge surprise at this point if i state i write grief with internalized homophobia in mind, and a considerable amount of religious trauma too. the man he wants to be brings him to shame, and that reflex goes beyond sexuality yes but it's also about that. andrey is uncharacteristically patient. he'll push and prod, poke at the hidden layers behind those freckles he's memorized for some reason, but never goes beyond grief's limits. freedom shouldn't be scary. grief will evolve, he will grow, and andrey will look at him with pride in his eyes and something that is definitely not love (andrey only knows violence. what does he do with love?)

grief is becoming a proper criminal now, respected even if he won't cut, perhaps respected because he gets the job done without cutting. he becomes a seller of all things illegal, and andrey is always in the market for something dangerous. he wants a weapon that will allow him to get up close and personal, and he gets something personal alright. grief gives him a knuckle-duster, a gift. places it around his fingers to see how it fits, awfully gentle. it's not a ring, it's not a promise, they're not that ridiculous

(spoiler: they absolutely are)

the first outbreak is scary. peter suffers immensely from it and when peter suffers, andrey agonizes, but peter is fine...... grief wonders if the pest is divine punishment, if he's to blame for it somehow, but surely not....... they're both restless and healthy, alive, and they're sort of neighbors (oh my god they were neighbors). it's easier to call their INVOLVEMENT stress relief. neither is prepared for the truth really

friends who bang! andrey's got plenty of those and this one isn't any different, okay? barkeeps hear all sorts of juicy gossip, and if he happens to perk up at news on grief and his gang, it's only because andrey is a dangerous man too, and he's wise to look out for the goings on of the underworld. i'm actually still unsure what the line 'wasn't long ago he was on his knees, begging before me' is all about, but i'm convinced it's not horny, at least not 100%. they spend a lot of time on their knees before one another, almost anything andrey says sounds like a threat or a preposition. andrey is held responsible for the death of at least one man (rip farkhad) so he's probably feared in the town. his lifestyle alone shocks plenty of people. grief holds his men back with a "no stabbing, no shooting, no killing" leash, but we know they're able, we know some are willing. perhaps grief needed andrey to intimidate a gang member he was having trouble with, truly desperate, out of other solutions. i'm begging you for help, on my knees if i have to. those men are terrified of you, and frankly so am i (but not in the same way, oh never, somehow i know you would never kill me). it would explain why andrey brings it up to artemy during the second outbreak. grief's men will start misbehaving soon - i wonder if he will come crawling to beg again

i think they're amicable for the most part, their personalities bounce of one another. they're insistent on the just friends thing mostly out of habit. i know you will come if i need you, and we have plenty of fun together already. that's enough, no? what else could a bastard need

second outbreak is a mess and we all know just how much. apple basket reunion is awkward because hey grief why did the guy at the bar tell me about you being on your- how about we don't talk for a while? oh also, this is a small thing, but shout out to the day you find grief and peter at aspity's house. i laughed so much imagining that conversation, or the very OBVIOUS lack of one. peter isn't even really there, dozing off lost in his thoughts, and grief is nearby sweating bullets. be cool grief, be cool - wait why are you even trying to impress peter?

when the polyhedron dies - because she is alive, and she is dying - andrey is lost to senseless violence. he doesn't believe artemy's confession because that would mean killing grief's childhood friend. it's easier to be angry at thirty faceless men. we also know that grief is... NOT WELL, after the whole thing with aglaya. grief is sitting at a staircase (THE staircase that once wasn't here) and he stays there until it's dark, until it's light again. andrey finds him, drunk out of his goddamn mind, probably guided there by all the twyrine in his system. it's unsettling to not see her when he reaches the top, it's unsettling to not see grief as well. what can two broken men do but weep? they whisper to each other. come with me, let's kill them all. it's not worth it, nothing is anymore. i'll go without you. you'll die. do you care?

there's stuff i missed, stuff that probably doesn't make sense, i'm writing this at 6 am in a frenzy of angrief feelings because i love them. i love this ask, i had to reply or i wouldn't sleep. what happens after the game is a wonder to me as well. i've said before somewhere that p1 grief is who p2 grief could become after the diurnal ending. andrey is also going to struggle with his place in the world, mourning the loss of a perfect tower that can never be reproduced, of brilliance and hard work, probably mourning the loss of his brother too, not to the pest but to love. peter has grace now and i think that will be jarring, not being the only family peter has. the twins have only ever had each other, is andrey falling behind? how will he catch up? can he? twins are perfect opposites, he says: it's only natural that when peter starts to improve, andrey begins to degenerate

but i like to be hopeful, because i like these characters a lot (i know u would never be able to tell xoxo). two negatives make a positive, so maybe andrey and grief can be miserable together, and maybe then they'll realize that love is fit for bastards too

[sophsun1]

Here are the two links where the corvette is mentioned, btw in one of them is also written that Gale’s most embarrassing moment was getting a perm when he was a kid/teen and what was it with him and Randy getting perms? Lol. wirthwoman.livejournal.com/8928.html? And wirthwoman.livejournal.com/9594.html , i also found this one and he mentioned his accident in it a bit and i always knew his accident was bad but holy shit, I’m glad he was okay, especially since he seems to have a habit of being clumsy. wirthwoman.livejournal.com/8970.html

And i fully agree with you! I swear there was supposed to be a convention last year that was rescheduled from 2021 or even 2020, but oh well. I hope one day we get another convention from them.

Hey anon!

Ty for the links they were a fun read!

I'm screaming at the fact they were in sync with their terrible haircut choices at some point, truly destined to be friends 😂

These were some of my favourite bits and I always love how Gale is on the same page with the fans on Brian -

Brian hid a lot in sex because he felt he was not free to have feelings. He said it was always the plan to have Brian and Justin together because it was a new relationship rather than Brian and Michael which was an old relationship.

Michael reminded Brian of the difficult part of his life so he was punishing him but at the same time loving him so much though not romantically. He evolved in getting to know Justin and he fell in love with Justin as a version of himself and though he acted like he didn’t care, he cared very much. He felt Brian would suffer a long lasting broken heart after Justin was gone. He also believed that Brian would eventually settle down.

He loved the prom dance but was worried about keeping up with Randy because he was fast. When asked about Brian’s rule of not eating fats or carbs after 7 he said Brian was a pathological liar.

When the subject of Justin’s injury came up, Gale surprised us by talking about his own head trauma from his accident and how it was similar to what Justin would have experienced. He said that he had no memory of anyone visiting him but he could hear them and later he dreamed about their visits. When asked if Brian ever told Justin about his visits in the hospital he felt certain that Brian would have “accidentally” let him know and that as the relationship developed that they would have discussed it at some point and Randy agreed.

A lot of these have been covered in fic so it's always nice to see the actors confirming our head canons. Gosh, yeah his accident was really serious and luckily he was okay he does seem to be very accident prone which kinda fits in with his personality.

Yes, I thought I was going insane when I kept thinking I'm sure there was a con scheduled in London around then but of course the pandemic hit and everything was cancelled but it was never mentioned again, so I thought I dreamt it lmao. Especially as Gale was supposed to be there alongside everyone which is so rare for him to leave his house! Damn you covid for ruining this for us.

[apaintedmaypole]

The future for Vegas and Pete

WARNING. I'm having a lot of VegasPete thoughts and I need a place to put them.

TL;DR Version: Let VegasPete be messy! Let VegasPete be kinky! Only fic can save us! (Probably.)

ONE: I really dig @lutawolf's take on VegasPete in the book vs. VegasPete in the drama. Luta argues that book!Vegas is "basically a criminal sociopath" and that this is one of the key differences between book vs. drama Vegas. (Read the link for the full take.) I definitely buy this take on book!Vegas in the first half-ish of the book's story. I'm not sure the canon continues to support this interpretation towards the end of the book though? I'm also not sure the authors see Vegas this way. It's hard to say, but I suspect the authors' inclination is towards some sort of redemption arc. The question is, what kind of redemption arc? There are some really annoying ways this could go. It'll be interesting to see where the new VegasPete story (supposedly coming from the authors soon) will take the characters.

TWO: Overall, I find the drama version of the story more interesting. It feels like we're getting more developed and nuanced versions of the characters overall. (Although, obvs, it's hard to give the book a fair shake when you're relying on online translations.) The drama version of VegasPete gives us more of a history and context for the characters, which is important. We understand where they come from, what's shaped them, how they might be uniquely suited to one another.

THREE: BUT... here's the piece I think is crucial. The history and context the drama provides should not be over-utilized to "explain" or pathologize their kinks. Instead, I see this history as a) context for their individual weaknesses, struggles, and needs. And, b) context for their current inability to safely/sanely acknowledge and act upon their kinks. They each have so much fucked up baggage dragging them down. It is a huge obstacle to their ability to understand themselves, communicate with others, act in healthier ways, or form safer kinky relationships.

FOUR: This is also why I'm so drawn to this couple and so interested in where they go next. An important question to me is: What does it mean to try and "fix" Vegas and Pete as characters? Or, to try and "fix" their relationship? Or to give them a happy ending? What does that look like? I think the authors, the drama team, and fans are all going to have very different and competing takes on this. My take?Within this storyworld, no one's going to run out to get therapy. This is still a very violent and dysfunctional environment. Within that context, how do Pete and Vegas muddle through? I don't think their version of a happy ending is any kind of domestic fluff. I think it's something a lot more complicated. I'm not saying they can't have happiness. I'm saying that I don't think falling on stereotypical happy ending tropes (babies and domesticity) is the answer. Babies and domesticity can be interesting story elements to include, but they aren't a magical balm which should be used to erase kinks, erase the characters' histories, etc. This couple has to work on a lot of stuff within and between themselves if they're going to stay together and not self-destruct.

AN ASIDE: Does anyone else remember fic from the show Oz? (YES I AM OLD.) I feel like Tobias Beecher and Chris Keller may offer some interesting parallels and contrasts here.

FIVE: The final VegasPete scene in the drama makes me nervous. It's just so fluffy and domestic. Yes, it's very cute, but how did these characters get here? Is one month in a hospital enough for this kind of domesticity and affection? What happened to make this possible? Honestly, I don't buy it. There might be a fic out there which could convince me, but I haven't read it yet. Instead, I'm nervous that the drama's solution is to skirt all the issues and just throw family and a dead dad at the problem. As if that alone just magically "fixes" everything. And somehow Vegas is just soft and cuddly now? No! That dude is fucked up. Yes, he's had a big scare and he's learned some important things, but that's step one in a complicated journey. Also, Pete is not a martyr or a gentle fawn. He has his own forms of masking and survival. He has his own coping mechanisms. He's also very skilled at his job. I don't think the Pete's future is one where he just becomes domestic and plays house mom for Macau and Venice. If he's a metaphorical hedgehog, then he's got his own shit to work through too!

SIX: Ultimately, I think the drama version of VegasPete is easier for me to work with and to see a future for than the novel's version. However, I really don't think that future should be one where they leave their kinks or their baggage behind. I think the pairing works best when Pete and Vegas have a lot of baggage, are also kinky, and are trying to figure out what all of that means. I think their future involves them trying to disentangle their issues from their kinks. I'm not sure they'll be 100% successful at that, but the more interesting part is the attempt and the ongoing work. This is also why I think the more satisfying versions of VegasPete's future might be found in fic, rather than in a season two or a new piece of the novel. I'm not sure I trust the drama or the novel to fully follow through on the story they've started. The ending of the VegasPete story in the drama and the books give us hints that both book and drama canon may opt to go for a more superficial ending. Fic, however, has more freedom to be messy, sexy, and kinky in the ways that VegasPete seem destined to be messy, sexy, and kinky. But who knows, maybe we'll get a new installment of the book or the drama and they'll surprise me!

--- YES, this is overly long. YES, I am epically overthinking this. I don't care. I have a lot of feels and I need to process them somewhere.

Also please, for the love of god, PLEASE feel invited to send me fic recs. I'm reading any VegasPete I can get my hands on right now.

[sapphorror]

mewd purrobably write that slay the purrincess/iz crossofur fic :pp

or, the one im less confident about, purrobably a long diatribe of zims psyche shattering and dib not entirely sure how to pick up the pieces

Leave it to me to sign myself on for an ask game and then completely forget about it for. what. two weeks. I think it's been two weeks but you really shouldn't quote me on that

ANYWAY. Since I've technically already written bits and pieces of the STP AU, that's clearly on point. Though admittedly I don't think I'd ever want to write something comprehensive or chronological, largely because I don't really do much long-form but also because STP lends itself really well to a narrative told in disjointed fragments. Like the game, I think I'd be less interested in producing a singular 'canon' storyline than offering a bunch of isolated vignettes which may or may not be meaningfully connected. Plus, that way, I could (hypothetically, mind you) explore ALL the possible routes and endings, regardless of self-contradiction, which is ideal since they're all great and would be fun to zadr-ify

The second one... hmm. Tempting though it may be, I'm not actually sure how I'd go about truly *shattering* Zim's psyche, largely because... I think it kind of already is? He can be radically altered but not truly broken because he can't meaningfully get any worse—only become different kinds of bad (or better, but I mean, what fun is that)

That being said. While thinking about this I realized I do have a bizarrely consistent Thing about Dib observing and deconstructing different iterations of Zim. Like the propaganda au, which is really ABOUT Zim's defectively overdeveloped sense of individuality and also his pathological need for attention, but is written entirely from Dib's close perspective. Or the academic essay fic thats actually just Dib blatantly vague-posting about his relationship status for god knows how many pages. Or the one where he decides making Zim face reality would be about as personally satisfying as convincing the entire human race that aliens exist (and like, six times harder, but). Or the—you get the point.

[existentialflirt]

I'm so tired, so fucking tired of the take that Crowley and Aziraphale need to find themselves outside of each other along with the suggestion that they're co-dependent. He's a small numbered list of why i think it's a bad fucking read of the situation.

While they are both more human than their kin, Crowley and Aziraphale are not human. I think it's sheer folly to apply human psychology and experience to them. Anyway, in respect to the their so-called co-dependence, they've spent a large portion of their extremely long lives alone, yes, finding one another, but never co-habituating (as far as canon has ever indicated). At the very least they have only been much closer companions since the 17th century or so. They live separately, and yes ofc, ofc you can be co-dependent without living together, but honestly, I just don't see them as a co-dependent couple. If they can be accused of not being social outside one another, I think that's very silly. "Gone native" they may be, they're very, very old and very, very strange. Frankly, I don't think their choices to exclusively keep each other's company is pathological so much as...so much as they like each other. Sincerely.

2. Their kin don't treat them very well, for that matter. Heaven is portrayed as a very cold place and despite his infamy, Crowley's not well liked at all, so what choice do they have? Humans are too brief and I'm sure it especially pains Aziraphale to grapple with their mortality. What does loneliness teach them what they haven't already learned? There's a point made in the novel that even if they are on opposite sides, it was only natural to become fond of a familiar face over the years.

3. Which brings me to the larger point of....they're really old??? Like unfathomable old. I just can't wrap my head around how that must feel for both of them. The focal points of their lives suddenly rocked from their moorings. We all agree that they're soul mates so why is half the fandom suddenly talking like "oh well they need to have their time apart" to find themselves or appreciate each other and I just. Their relationship is pretty healthy all things considered. Especially for a couple under the banner of angel/demon ship trope. There was the wall slam but I mean, Aziraphale looked pretty into it so *big shrugs*. I just don't know what more could be wanted.

I understand the fandom is just adjusting, y'know? Working with what was given, and I guess I just kinda feel like I'm crazy for just being like "ehh....don't like that so I'm just...I'm just gonna ignore it until i see where Neil's going with this." Lord knows for as much the end of season 2 stomped my ass and for as much as I just do not fucking get it, I'll watch the next one or read a book or whatever because I'm so invested in these characters. *sighs*

tl;dr: Sorry I've been stewing for days.

[incoherentbabblings]

What’s the difference between writing pre new 52 TimSteph and Rebirth TimSteph?

Ooh! Thank you for such a wonderful question! I'm going to wax on romantically and embarrassingly here. This is again largely headcanon using canon to prop up with rickety sticks, but hey. We do what we do. This is how I differentiate when writing or reading. If I had the pOwER....

To clarify, the biggest difference between the two is this, I think: Pre!Flashpoint will not quit being superheroes even if their life depends on it, and neither are tempted by the thought of quitting. Rebirth are actively looking for opportunities to step away, and are often tempted by the chance of vigilantes being made redundant. Pre New 52 are tired, Rebirth are arrogant. Having said that, here's how I like to imagine it...

Pre New 52 everything is heavier, almost like there's a actual physical weight these two have been carrying for five years and if (when) they get back together it's akin to a drowning man seeing and reaching the shore and solid land. A sort of sharp almost painful relief that is mixed in with genuine grief and trauma. They've both hurt each other a lot. They scarred physically and emotionally both each other and the world. Tim is a little misguided by the end of RR. He's practically drowning but refusing to admit it. Steph is managing to keep her head above water, though sometimes something grabs her ankle and pulls her under, though she always manages to kick free.

There's just a history there that makes every conversation a call back, every action a reference to something else. It's really fun to write because it is super rare for either of them to be in a good headspace at the same time. Tim will drag Steph forward until life knocks them both down, at which point Steph will get her second steam and drag Tim on. I guess in that way I view pre New 52 Tim Steph as inherently sadder. They're both very tired, they both very much deserve a rest. They will never take that chance if offered to them, as it will mean abandoning those who need them. Steph will succeed with or without Tim. I don't know if the same can be said for him. Tim certainly doesn't believe himself to have a bright future. So yeah. When I write Pre New 52 TimSteph, I like to write things a little sad, a little lonely, but warm, gentle. They are very good at hurting the other, and yet their relationship is a small place the keep them anchored and warm and dry, a little island. Just for a short while before life gets in the way again. But that island is always there, they just have to make the effort to swim out to it.

Rebirth TimSteph I like to imagine is just feral. Not nearly as much brooding. They want to do something and they do it, end of discussion. Consequences will be dealt with later.

I write it as if you see this person and something clicks in your head like a goddamn sight viewer on a sniper and it's like oh. It's you. For Tim it's having a proper reason to return to Gotham when he beforehand had no desire to work there at all by the start of the New 52. Steph is a way to drag him down to the same level as the people on the ground that New 52 Tim held himself so loftily above. She's a personification of his interests and dreams and a focus point for what he wants to achieve. He'll pin it all on her because she genuinely believes in him. She encouraged him to make his own choices for his own future, destiny of Gotham City and the Batman cowl be damned. For Steph it's stability and the unconditionality of Tim's infatuation. No one has stuck with her, not even her parents. This boy does. This boy is apparently willing to build a new world for her. And that's kinda heady right? To be that wanted. To be the centre of someone's world like that... I wouldn't give that up either. And then there's that instinctive pull, where you feel you don't need to run through the basics. You feel like you already know them? Don't you? So they fall in love and move in together (and yeah have sex) in like a month. They make plans to completely overhaul the social structure of Gotham then look at options to bugger off and go to college and have that white picket life that Bruce so often decries.

They're both idealistic and arrogant. And it gets used against them again and again by them trusting and listening to the wrong people but their trust and love for the other is pretty insanely consistent and constant and course corrects the pair as they move forward. There's no history of betrayal or lies (until there is) it's just two people who are enamoured with the other and do not give a hoot who knows it. They're 17 years old and live together. They joke about making out in front of Batman. They explicitly go on date nights which include investigating murder. They maybe eloped and no one questioned it depending on how you read them running away from home. Like they're the kind of couple who you'd go aww they're cute but then the more you look at it the more you're like these two are kind of feral and impulsive and bonkers. There's no baggage. They're running on instinct. They're running on a lot of easily breakable promises and corruptable dreams and ambitions. Because the batfam don't do mild mannered level headed. It's all or nothing. So it has the potential to go south or completely off the rails as it threatened to do in that last arc of Tec. But again, when one stumbles, the other drags them forward and up until they can stand on their own once more. They both feel like they're owed too much. That white picket fence belongs to them. Even if they have to burn a few bridges to get the wood.

Not to say they also aren't soft as heck. I talk enough about Steph being Tim's home and Tim flipping loves being home... He takes good care of it. That home is still shiny and new and Steph is out back painting that darn fence.

Pre New 52 the house is cracked and tired but it's warm and lived in and smells like comfort. It's just that half the flipping time they've lost the key and are locked out 😂. Those two're a bit more lost, until they come back together again perhaps. In a way they're more selfless, more measured than their Rebirth selves, but that's because their world has knocked them back a lot. Rebirth haven't had to endure that yet.

Gulp, this was a purple prose ramble eh? Tldr long drawn out history and narrow options for the future make the quiet times all the more sweeter versus this is first love and it is the greatest love in the world it's so great it can (figuratively) conquer the world it feels so good.

[silenthillmutual]

🥭 🍋 🍐

Rank from most enjoyable/fun to write to least: Fluff, Smut, Angst, Crack.

Angst, fluff, smut, crack.

I used to write a lot more angst than I do now. It's something I'd like to hop back into. Fluff is fun to write, but I like to write emotional things, and I think it would be good to learn to write things that aren't so easily resolved. Smut is... difficult to write, a lot of the times. I'll go for a while where I can write it no problem, but as soon as I fall off that bicycle I have a difficult time remembering how it works. And crack? I don't think I've ever written crack. I wouldn't even know where to begin!

What’s your favorite spicier trope to write?

Hmm... probably friends with benefits to lovers. I'm not really sure how I came to enjoy that particular relationship dynamic. I guess it just works really well for foils, and there's so much room for angst in there. It's messy. And I think I like that mess.

Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

Really depends on the canon. I think part of the fun of transformative works can be filling in the gaps, things that were unclear or left up to interpretation, so I wouldn't say I hate that. Missing scenes are some of the most fun fics, in my opinion. And the inherent nature of tragedy and wanting to undo something isn't what I'd change about most canons. Most of the time what I'm doing with fics is having a debate with fanon.

I will say, though, that there are aspects of the endings of Pathologic 2 that I really don't like and try to rectify when I write them. I tend to just mash the two games together when it comes to writing fics, taking bits and pieces of things I liked best about each game into one golden experience requiem. My biggest pet peeve with actual canon is largely with Danganronpa, and my attempts to fix that canon are largely "how can I make it so this isn't a transmisogynist mess?" But that's a whole can of worms we're not getting into right now.

[meirimerens]

Daniil and Andrey. Or just Daniil and the Stamatins in general. Give me your thoughts I need you to hand them over please

knuckle crack. also if i'm incomprehensible it's 5:30AM here and i have yet to sleep

daniil and andrey meeting up at uni (canon). andrey was the first guy who likes guys daniil ever saw, so they bonded over daniil coming out to andrey (more on that later) and andrey swearing he'll go with his secret to his grave. if you must know i think known slut andrey saw dankovsky and was like "😏 oh you cute lil thing... i wonder if you like guys... 😏" and then dankovsky opened his mouth to speak and andrey crossed his heart and thought "the way i'm never thinking that again. on god i'm never making a move on you".

university hijinks screenshots (prolly some raunchy jokes in there but we keeping it PG13 i think, + classic closeted daniil scenes as i've stood by before)

if it's unreadable here's what it says:

screenshot 1:

pathologic headcanon ramblings. come here. daniil at uni. closeted. he known he's gay since he was 12 but he's been living since in a "damn that's crazy [that i like men]... time to never think about this again" (repeat every 2 weeks) goes to uni. very masculine environment and in the spirit of that running joke of old literature universities where all the male students starting kissing each other to the point where if you were NOT gay you were the odd one out, tons of gay men in here. guys just out of teenagehood, feeling free for the first time, striking up friendships and relationships, kissing at the after-dark students get-toegther. daniol being like. I um i um i um ummmmm. there's quite some alcohol in these soirées, it helps to celebrate after a big exam. daniil is a a lightweight and alcohol got him acting up a lil. he doesn't become like a slut or anything it's just all the repressed thoughts come back and he starts thinking his classmates are quite handsome quite fit quite... s... se..... no.... he can't say it..... so he gets drunk and then sits in a corner trying really hard to appear normal as if he was the odd one out there. thinking "god i sure hope they don't think i'm gay and hitting on them" as his classmates kiss and sit oneach other's lap. eventually he just stops drinking, attends the soirées as The Sober Guy. the fellas start to think he's a bit of a stuck-up and a buzzkill, but he ends up being the clear-headed one who walks them home as they're drunk so everyone just accepts that. he's That Guy right the Guy whose head is so deep in his books he doesn't even suck a dick from time to time he's just so in his BOOKS.

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scene: one night, pre-exam day. the fellas are having a soirée, drinking to give themselves courage for tomorrow, Daniil decides to stay in his room and redo his notes. Andreiy walks in (it's during the year they're in the same university. they're already buddies at this point) and just kinda "😑😑😑" "what." "not at the soirée?" "i'm busy." "you've been avoiding me. you've been avoiding us." "andreiy that's not--" "do you have something against men who kiss men? are you uncomfortable in our presence? tell me." silence. daniil turns to him swiftly, .___. expression on his face. andreiy is "🤨 ". "well? do you have something against it?" "andreiy jesus christ." (takes head in his hand.) "i don't." (covers mouth. uncovers) "... i don't when it's other people." silence. a few beats. andreiy's mouth falls open like shocked pikachu. then he closes it. "ah........." "yeah." "i see............. i'm sorry i asked" "it's fine." "well.... i'll leave you to your books and notes. " "thank you. have fun, andreiy" "thank you..." "..." "I hope you can accept yourself one day." "... yeah. i do too."

They bonded etc. if you must know i think andrey introduced dankovsky to his mom, and she was like 🤨 but then he was like "he's nothing but a friend 😇" and mom's like that's the first time you bring a guy in as "just a friend" in years, c'mon come in. etc. i also think andrey met dankovsky's mom, dankovsky's dad, who struggles with accepting his son's homosexuality and cannot see him next to a guy without shaking and crying in fear, was fucking Terrified to see andrey come in but was reassured by his wife and son that It's Not Like That Come On Now.

Dankovsky meets Peter day 1 of Daniil's Week Of Tortures. they hit it off because what peter says scratch a very deep itch. all of peter's speeches walk the tightrope between genuine balls-to-the-wall insane psychotic (as in: suffering from psychosis) ramblings and stuff that like..; could make sense... would make sense...maybe.

i think dankovsky accidentally comes out to him while drunk as shit and peter is just like 👍 and then forgets in the hour. they like to hang out and you have:

daniil and peter talking with each other. complete nonsense. incomprehensible. burakh who's sticking with dankovsky because they're like buddies they're like colleagues they're like trying to not hate each other. he's baffled by what the fuck is going on. rubin who's sitting next to peter. patting his back probably. looking at burakh straight in the eyes like "don't you wish your dude let you pat his back" and they just telepathically attack each other while dankovsky and peter talk. andrey is here because his scrunkly brother is here so of course i'll be here. he also needs to supervise any and all moves rubin makes on peter lest he dishonors him or something.

dankovsky sits with peter at the broken heart to talk while andrey and burakh throw hands. dankovsky gets mad they're gonna get blood on his coat that he left by the bar. classic

what were we talking about

[roominthecastle]

I'm sure I'm biased, but I find myself so bored by Eleanor/Chidi these days. I'm not "anti" just... blah? There are such better options for both of them considering who they are now is so vastly different than in the afterlife realities where they had so much early growing to do. They were only together a fraction out of 800 times and I genuinely can't tell if the show is trying to sell us on the idea that they're ~*meant to be*~ or on the idea that Michael simply believes they're meant to be.

I’m leaning towards the latter. The universe doesn’t seem to care about who ends up w/ whom, and they never would have found each other if it hadn’t been for Michael’s constant meddling, which is esp apparent this season. Their world has expanded from a small, closed system into the entire real world that was impossible for Michael to micromanage. He had to keep nudging them every step of the way and they still didn’t get together romantically despite spending more than a year in close proximity. Revealing that they were together once feels like pressuring at this point. If it hasn’t happened on its own by now, why should it matter that they were an item one time (out of 800 versions)? I mean, I get it: Michael was (impulsively) trying to console Eleanor and give her solid evidence that she’s capable of having an intimate, loving relationship w/ someone, but he really did not think this through.

In “Jeremy Bearimy”, he is clearly desperate to keep Eleanor from walking away, yet he remains silent about their once supertight karaokee-shrimp-and-leaps-of-faith-filled broship or the sacrifices he’s made or the eternal suffering that awaits him in the afterlife if she doesn’t come back. He didn’t reveal that one time he was also willing to die for her, which is fortunate bc that would have been just as emotionally manipulative/vaguely coercive in that situation, imo. Instead, he offered to kill them all (I love this idiot) and when it was collectively downvoted, he let her go. This way when she came back and extended a Soul Squad membership offer to him and Janet, it was a choice that reinforced a previous one (her scrapping her plans to go to Mindy’s and making Michael a member of Team Cockroach in S2) but wasn’t dictated by it. This is also why I love that Janet didn’t tell Jason about their past right away. Instead, she’s trying to spend time w/ him and regrow their bond in a more natural way, so if they get together again, it will be bc they both want it and not bc it is somehow expected. This option is no longer available for E/C.

Also, there is Simone w/ whom Chidi broke up only bc he didn’t want to doom her. It was a serious, steady relationship. There wasn’t one second where he was remotely torn between her and Eleanor. And now we are back to that tiny closed system where his options are once again reduced to Eleanor or Tahani or books/celibacy, which has echoes of those multiple soulmate torture scenarios Michael ran on him in S2.

I am not an “anti”, either. I don’t even have notps on this show or any “shipping agenda” where canon is concerned, but at this point, C/E feels more like a long-winded experiment than a “meant to be” love story. Or maybe that’s the point? idk. I’m not sure what they are trying to do here and I am looking forward to seeing them tackle the determinism angle, but so far S3 hasn’t done this dynamic any favors.

One of the many things that are so enticing about Michael’s relationship w/ Eleanor is that it is presented as a result of actual, hard choices(*) mixed w/ sth instinctive/intuitive that allows them to quickly fall into an easy rhythm despite the reboots and despite how nuts it usually is (I mean, he will always be her ex torturer and he always makes sure she knows this one piece of info). And even as the stakes rise and various whacky challenges are hurled at him, Michael keeps choosing her (and the team) w/o hesitation, so the whole show is now a testament to his love. Other than that there is literally nothing else that’s keeping him from saying fuck this and settling down on some fancy beach to sip tasty margaritas for the rest of eternity.

(*) I know it’s said that Chidi always chose to help Eleanor in the reboots but to me that’s forever tainted by a compulsion which he characterizes as his “ethical duty” to help. This was what Michael was counting on when he designed this torture setup: Chidi’s pathological inability to say no. That and choice are not exactly synonymous. And on Earth Michael had to keep stepping in by telling him to help, to go back to the group, a group which still got disbanded in the end as Chidi clearly chose his career and Simone over Eleanor even after her plea and subsequent meltdown.

I am not trying to dish E/C, honestly. I think they have an excellent dynamic (that hasn’t been utilized much this season but there’s still time), I just don’t get the “meant-to-be soulmates!” hype around them or this fandom expectation that you must ship them hard. Then again, I never seem to be able to develop an obsessive interest in “big canon couples” in general, like I was never particularly invested in Jim/Pam on The Office and the relationship status of Jake and Amy is irrelevant to my love for B99 - friends or married? great either way (I did weep a little at their wedding tho bc I am weak and my dude Holt was bringing it). And I feel this same “okay” about romantic E/C, too.

And ofc we are biased. Like everybody else in every fandom always.