#I'm working on Christmas too but I'm still putting in some damn effort

[choking-on-roses]

Here's a thought.

If you want things to "feel" like Christmas, you need to put some effort in.

Put up those Christmas decorations even though it's a chore.

Buy a gift for someone even though the shops are crowded and wrapping gifts sucks.

Make plans with people you care about even if it's a pain in the ass.

Buy a stupid Christmas sweater and wear it. Do some Christmas baking.

And most importantly, go find the people in your life (probably women lbr) and thank them for all the tireless effort they put in to make sure you had a festive Christmas in your childhood.

Don't just sit around and refuse to contribute and then complain that it doesn't "feel" like Christmas.

[nompunhere]

contains: safe soft vore, g/t, willing prey, and kinda sorta unwilling pred. for a little bit

It's a rainy day today

When I woke up, the pattering on the roof and the sight of you so cozy and curled up beneath my fingers nearly lulled me back to sleep. I had to go to work today though, so I forlornly shake off my drowsiness, and switch my hand out for your own little blanket. You still shiver in your sleep despite my efforts, and I tiptoe off to the kitchen with a smidge of guilt lingering in my head

The sky is dark and rolling, pouring out sheets of rain. I get some quiet music going as I start pulling together the things I'll need for the day, but a buzz from my phone on the counter interrupts. 'Severe Storm Warning', it declares in big text. I sigh, the commute was just gonna be that much harder then, huh.

As I start taking my meds, I hear a little yawn. I glance over and see that you've made your way out of bed. Your blanket hangs around your shoulders like a cape, and when you finally pry your sleepy eyes open enough to look at me, you quicken your steps. I reach down to put you on the table, but you refuse to slide off of my palm. "I do have to go to work you know" I chuckle, keeping my voice low for the early hour. "Don' care," you mutter back, "'S cold."

I sigh, amused, and continue one-handed with my morning routine. You remain in your half asleep daze, idly watching as I flutter around. I fix up some instant coffee, and you wrinkle your nose when I ask if you'd like a mug. "It's warm~" I tempt, swishing mine around with my spoon. Your eyes are hooded as they swing over to look at me, then further down. "I know something warmer~" you reply, imitating my sing-song voice.

I huff, "You know I-" "I know, I know, need to pay the bills, I get it." You sigh, curling further into your blanket. My heart twists a little. "But," your voice is muffled through the fabric, "It says it going to thunder today..." Even through the tired glaze on your voice, I can still hear an edge of fear. We both know you're deathly afraid of lightning, it's the reason for the first time you spent the night after all. It makes me feel awful that I'll have to leave you to go work, but...

Almost like magic, my phone buzzes on the counter once more, this time it's a message in my company chat. 'Everyone is excused from work today due to flooding, see you tomorrow!' My jaw drops, and I don't miss the way you immediately lean towards me, before I fully turn to you and exclaim "I'm off work!" You light up like a Christmas tree, "Really!?" Your once grumbly voice now brightens with relief, and I nod excitedly. "It's the rain! The buildings can't function with flooding." I grin. You beat you hands on the side of my finger, "I don't care how it happened!" You seem about three seconds away from leaping at me, "Let me in!!"

I just laugh again, and bring you closer to my face. You vibrate in place as I part my jaws, already salivating with my anticipation. You damn near almost fall off my hand you're so close to the edge as I ease my hand even closer. Once in range, you shed your blanket to climb over my teeth as fast as you can, and flop onto my tongue. I carefully close my mouth and begin poking you around, soaking you with saliva. No matter how many times we do this, it never fails to make my heart race when you accidentally get a little too close to my teeth.

After I'm fairly certain I've throughly soaked you, I tilt my head and let you slid a bit further back. You wiggle a little in excitement, but it doesn't slow me down as I finally gulp you down with a satisfied hum. I internally track your progress down my throat, feeling as you pass my collarbone with a bit of a squeeze, and then the little drop as you reach my stomach.

I sigh as you settle in, and rub at your form under my skin. You immediately rub back, and it takes everything in my power not to melt in my chair. "Back to bed?" You speak up. I smile and make my way back into the room, "Back to bed." I confirm, just before my back hits the mattress.

It's a rainy day today

oh, this is... this is really nice. thank you, anon, for this lovely post! genuinely a very pleasant read. love soft little momence like these

[mr2swap]

After Christmas: 1

“Damn it, I can't take this one more day!” My father promised me that this would end today, that we would return to our original bodies, and we would never talk about everything that happened this winter vacation.

He has been putting off reversing the spell he “accidentally” cast on us so I can enjoy my youth for a couple of days. When mom left us my father looked so pathetic and sad, I thought that if I let him use my body for a day or two after Christmas it would be the most generous of me and the truth is I can fully understand why he did it ... his life is shit!

He was never able to finish high school for being an idiot, so all he could get was a 10-hour job as a low paid builder. Every day I wake up at morning, so I can start the day with 3 cups of coffee without sugar because “my” doctor told me that I had to watch my diet, some tasteless eggs and a couple of painkillers to be able to bear leaving the home without having to complain all day that I spend working under the sun.

At first, it was not so bad it was great to wake up in my father's room in his taller, stronger and older body, everything looked smaller especially my father who was now in my slim body of a 14-year-old boy, maybe it was the adrenaline rush and excitement that made me completely ignore the pain in my back and not have had a drop of coffee all day.

After confronting him and admitting that he was the cause that one day to the next he will wake up like a 48-year-old man we reached an agreement, we would return to our bodies once Christmas passed, I must admit that going out to do the shopping For Christmas dinner with my dad it was a lot of fun, we talked all day about everything I would have to do in his body, he even taught me how to drive, and he let me drink my first beer when we got home, I felt funny after empty a couple of cans, and it all seemed incredibly light especially with how big my arms are now.

But all the fun ended the next day, on Christmas Day as soon as I woke up again in this body you can understand why my father told me not to get too excited about drinking beer, I even think I was still a little drunk after drinking so much last night My head hurt like hell and the rest of my body didn't feel better, and I think for the first time I could understand why my father used to take those pills every day with his coffee.

While I was trying to go down the stairs carefully to have a lot of coffee that I now needed my father was already at the foot of the tree unwrapping the gifts that he had personally wrapped a couple of days before, when I realized what it was not I could believe it—DID YOU BUY ME A PS5?! — I quickly helped him connect it while he was just as excited as I was to play however I could see that there was only one control and after a short fight I decided I was too tired and screwed up to spend it all The day I was arguing over who would take the first turn playing and my head was killing me, I decided that I would play the next day once I returned to my young 14-year-old body.

However, the days have passed, and my father still does not break the spell, making excuses after excuses, and he doesn't even make an effort to lie to me during breakfast today. He told me, “have you started with that again? It starts to be annoying to hear you say the same thing every morning, “IT'S A SON OF A BITCH! Right now he must be on my first day of class pretending to be me and talking to my friends while I'm covered in sweat and dust, killing me at his shitty job.

I am doubting if one day I will recover my body, I have to find the spell that my father used to steal my life and be 14 years old again! … well I will do it tomorrow today Robert, a friend of my father from work invited me to drink a couple of beers on the way out of work, he said we had a lot of fun and was really pushy. I suppose there are good things about being an adult.

Hello! Happy New Year, this is the first story here on Tumblr, the second part and a short epilogue are on my patreon.

You can also join my discord server if you want to know the latest news of my stories or chat with me, Tumblr has me blocked or something and I can't receive messages, so discord is the only way to talk to me lol

[a-christmas-carol-from-hr]

i'm very sorry that you have to have a body, one that will hurt you and be the subject of so much of your fear, it will betray you, be used against you, then it will fail on you, my dear

tw: major character death, stroke

an: uh hi i crave validation and love to talk about this thing i’m working on so uh have one of the side pieces i wrote for it C:

-

2012.

The Christmas Eve rain beat against the window as Jacob Marley, one half of Marley and Scrooge Financial, looked out over the London landscape. It was a terrible night, even by London’s standards. The rain seemed to lash at the window like some sort of typhoon, as if trying to break the glass and reach inside.

No doubt it was the rain that had brought on his headache.

Marley rubbed at his eyes as he looked out at the darkened sky. He’d had it ever since he’d gotten off the flight from New York. Must have been the elevation. He’d better not be picking up a flu from some nasty brat. He had no time to be sick. Scrooge was in Beijing until the New Year, closing out an account they’d been working on for years. It was his duty to hold down the fort until she returned, and he had no time to be ill.

But still the headache continued, throbbing persistently behind his eye. Fantastic. Americans.

Marley gave one last look at the infernal weather before turning and leaving his office. He needed a coffee.

Bob Crachit was in the kitchen, furiously stirring at some container on the counter. Her dark hair, barely held back with a cheap hair clip, tumbled over her face as she worked. She brushed it away, but all too soon it fell back again. Were Scrooge here, she’d have scolded Bob. She never looked presentable enough, the clothes she’d managed to scrape together that were office appropriate far below the standards of most everyone else in the firm. But Bob was the best executive assistant in London, and both Marley and Scrooge knew that. So her ‘issues’ were overlooked.

Even the most recent one. Bob stopped stirring at what looked like her dinner to place a hand on her stomach, winded from the effort. She was winded from most things these days, being nearly too pregnant to walk, let alone work. But business was business, and she needed the money. She rolled her neck one way and then the other, trying to gain some relief from her discomfort. And then she returned to her work. Bob was like that.

It made Marley feel a certain…way when he saw her fatigue, though he dare not voice it, even to himself. 

He didn’t bother to clear his throat as he entered, and Bob jolted in surprise as soon as she caught sight of him.

“Ah! Mr. Marley!” He had to give her credit. She could put on a happy face at the drop of a hat. What had been an expression of fatigue and discomfort turned to one of happy helpfulness. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Obviously.” Marley replied. “How about a cup of coffee, Crachit?” “Oh, no thank you!” She said with a smile, her good humor not dampened by Marley’s general aura of unpleasantness. But she turned to start one anyway. “I don’t think we have any more of the Arabia you prefer, Mr. Marley. Ms. Scrooge said-.”

“Not to bother ordering any.” Marley finished with a grumble. Figures. The unpleasant smell of burnt sodium reached his senses, and he damn near recoiled, the pain in his head inflaming at the sense.

“Dear god, what is that?!”

“Oh! I’m sorry!” Bob said, moving to move her meal. “It’s my dinner, sir. Instant ramen. I suppose it *is* a bit overdone.”

“You eat that slop?” He said incredulously. Bob laughed, embarrassed.

“It’s my late lunch. Just to tide me over until dinner. ‘Fraid I’m always hungry these days. But I can just toss it if it bothers you. After all, tonight we get a proper feast.” She said with ill-hidden delight. “The hubby’s getting it all ready. A proper roast meal. I’ve been saving for ages. I don’t think the Queen’ll eat better than we will.”

Marley doubted that, much to his own surprise. Crachit was ill-paid even by assistant standards, and much of her money went to supporting a disabled husband, paying London rent, and dealing with a now-impending baby. Why the damn fool got herself in the family way when she couldn’t afford it was beyond him. It was none of his business what others chose to do, but it became so when it hurt his business. And she’d be out on Mat Leave before long, and then what would they do. The girl was competent, even if it was her only saving grace. Very inconvenient. Bad for business.

His mind ached.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to breath out. Crachit stopped her prattling. “Mr. Marley?” She asked, quietly. “Are you alright?”

Her voice was so sincere. It nearly made him mad. The damn fool was worried about him, and he never spared her a thought of worry. Something, deep in his pained mind, prodded him. He didn’t like it.

“Fine. Headache. Look, Crachit.” He reached into his walled, pulling out a glossy credit card worth more than Bob’s entire family put together. “My head is killing me, and since Ms. Scrooge in her infinite kindness has seen it fit to deny me my coffee until the New Year, go get me one. From the cafe up the street. With-.”

“Oat milk and two stevia.” Bob replied instantly.”Of course, Mr. Marley. I’ll be right back.”

Marley turned to look out the window. And he looked at the meager meal Crachit had to eat. And something twisted in him again. “Crachit!” He called out. He heard the sound of footfalls before she poked her head around the corner.

“Yes?”

“Get a sandwich while you’re there.”

“Yes, of course.” Bob replied. “What would you like on it, Mr. Marley?”

“Whatever you want, you bloody fool. It’s for you?”

Bob’s eyes widened. “Me?”

“Did I stutter, Crachit?”

“No, sir.”

“Get my coffee and yourself a sandwich, and be quick about it. I need to review the New York notes with you.”

Crachit couldn’t hide her smile of pleasure as she nodded, and that made him feel even worse. Shouldn’t have even offered in the first place. Now his mind hurt from multiple things. He found himself wishing Scrooge was here. Things seemed easier when she was around. Facing their present made it easier to ignore the past. Especially on December 24th, of all nights, where Crachit had to be there with her baby bump and-

The pain burbled behind his left eye, springing up like water. Marley stumbled, bracing himself against the counter. *Jesus Christ* it hurt. He’d ask her to get pain killers on the way back. The strongest they had.

“Crachit!” He called out, hoping she was still in listening distance.

But the word did not leave his mouth. Distantly, as if underwater, he heard his own voice. He heard the shapeless sounds that cried from his mouth. And then, then Jacob Marley felt fear.

The pain grew, bursting out into his skull. It wrenched a scream from his throat and crippled his body, like a puppet whose strings all were cut at once. His limbs flailed out as he fell to the floor, that distant voice that was and wasn’t his own screaming all the while.

He felt himself hit the ground even all through the pain and his mind was melting, struck with volt after volt of electricity, and *jesus* he could feel every cell of his mind *die* and he was dying he had to be he was going to die, right here on the floor of his counting house and he was alone, all alone, and the pain rose up into his throat and into his body, chaining him to the floor and chaining him to his fading mind and chaining him to *god no please no here not alone not with her so far from me im sorry im sorry fire flame volt make it sTOP*

He thought the word *Ellen*.

And then he thought nothing at all.

[dowhatteverer]

Are there more holidays in your AU?

Still working on them, but here's what I got:

If I were to tell this story in a volume by volume way, each volume would take place over the course of a year so that I could explore any holiday I come up with. I think I'm going to try and rework Nondescript winter holiday to have more backstory behind it and give it its own identity outside of being a Christmas parody that the creators acknowledge that they were too lazy to put effort into. I'm torn on keeping the name because for some reason I just find it really funny, but it's also a great big "screw you" to anyone paying attention to the story, because it's basically the writers admitting that they don't actually give a damn about their world building and couldn't be bothered to come up with a good Christmas parody.

I'll try to have a rough explanation of the idea before Christmas.

Not all potential Remnant holidays are going to be parodies of real world holidays though. There will be Faunus exclusive holidays and holidays inspired by the difficulties that the Kingdoms had to deal with before they discovered each other and the great war. I also will be expanding on actual cannon holidays like aforementioned Nondescript winter holiday and the Vytal festival. (Or in the case of the Vytal festival, changing how it happened in congruence with changing the circumstances of the great war)

Thanks for asking!

[silvermuffins]

Since we're not just in Tartarus we have the other tags again. It is 12/21, we have 206 hours on the clock, I'm running around talking to NPCs. It hurts me that one of the random classmates talks about his bad exam score hurting his future, and another comments that Minato looks so pale, assumes he scored badly, and tries the reassure him he has another chance.

Love the thought put into this stuff.

Officer Kurosawa is still the best. ACAB except for this one. And this is why it's a fantasy- shopping trip over.

Okay I neeeeeeed....an Empress persona. Because we're gonna blast away our Mitsuru link, because Mitsuru is my queen. And sooner or later we gotta meet her fiancee, it's gotta be getting close.

Running away to where nobody knows him....I mean. Considering Toriumi mentions at the start that he's lived in a lot of places - he probably hasn't had to. ...Mitsuru you are basically the most valid, your responsibilities are so heavy and you've been through a lot. Coming to grips with how very Not A Normal Girl you are has to be tough.

Oh snap is this a romance flag? It might be a romance flag. We are romancing Mitsuru. THE FIANCEE IS HERE. He is, of course, a jackass.

"Who the hell are you?!" I'm Mr. Steal-Your-Girl. Maybe try not being a dick? Kick his ass, Mitsuru, I got your flower. This link makes me so damn happy. And this is probably my favorite rank-up.

KICK. HIS. ASS!

Fuckin hell I love that scene.

In the absence of anything else to do tonight, we will walk Koromaru. With Fuuka! Who wants to bake cake and take a bath with Koromaru, apparently.

Liz call. Yup, we're going back to Tartarus before the month is through.

Edogawa talking about near-death experiences... You gotta love how he regularly threatens to curse you if you get his questions wrong. "Love". And like, they ARE indirect threats but still how the hell is he a teacher?

"you'll have a happy school life" it's a little late for that sir

I think....the effort has to be to max Mitsuru's link by Christmas. It's gonna be close! In fact I think that makes my hanging out decisions for the next couple of days. Mitsuru <3

It made Minty happy Mitsuru that was one of few if not the only time someone's gotten super pissed on his behalf. He isn't great at standing up for himself.

God the addition of platonic options has made the romances better. Romance tiiiime. Mitsuru is so cute when she's candid.

Yes, Blink, I love you too. Blink being my cat who is extremely insistent on receiving snuggles.

Ohhh Ken linked episode today! Awesome, something to do with my evening. I love Ken so much. He's such a good kid, and these episodes make me love him more. I'm glad his hamster has gotten extra-cute.

And immediately after this, Ken and Akihiko get to come to a decision.....the timing.

Running around town and I think there might be even more Lost than at last count? We are working at the movies bc nothing better to do, and I have to go work at the movies later anyway.

Hmmm and tonight.... let's walk Koromaru I guess? With Yukari!

Christmas Eve. We will max out Mitsuru, if it lets us! If it doesn't ig we just spend Christmas with her? Yep, the latter, we just spend time with her for Christmas. She dumped her fiancee just in time.

WOW the mall is decked out! And I think they cleared out a bunch of the Lost, guess we'll see if they're back or not tomorrow.

Boooo they downgraded to "top-grade grape juice", back in FES it was champagne. I think it might've been specified as a non-alcoholic champagne, which might mean it can't be legally referred to as champagne, I'm not totally sure if non-alcoholic wines are produced in the Champagne region of France.... If that's why the item name change and it's still Basically Champagne I guess that's fine.

They do not specify as such. Buuuut I know in my heart it's champagne. Or prosecco. You get the idea. It's like the hot sauce coffee, I don't care what anyone else says, it is canon. To me.

As for giving her a present - I have some stuff I bought from Tanaka that has just been waiting for this! Actually I have a ton of gifts lying around, uhhhh I am spoiled for choice. Oooh it seems I don't wanna give her the brand items. Wait shit I don't have the things she likes most? Okay I might need to rewind to go buy and do-over.

Yeah we're gonna do that. Huff. Only the best for Mitsuru! Rewind, do-over.

Ohhh I gotta get these weapons from Mayoido eventually, they look awesome.... Hooboy.

Anyway we'll do our Christmas redo and finish off, since it's getting close to time for work. Awww yes she loves it this time! There we go, do-over is done.

We stop here for now but it looks like I am spending Christmas day with Kenji, Odagiri, or the Moon dude, which is a hell of a lineup.

[tallestcat]

Challenge #1

This challenge has to do with the bad hand we were dealt. I felt like I had a manageable hand.

My health was a concern. My parents were old when I was born, 40 mom and 45 dad. Who knows how my health will be in the future because they decided to be old parents. Mom was always kinda sickly and I knew I inherited something not amazing if her health was like that. I'm often tired and was never able to run long distances. I struggle with ADHD and paying attention. I still can't run a mile but have to jog/walk it. I don't have any structural health problems or diseases.

I felt the most insecure in my education. In elementary, I tried really hard to do well in school. I would fill out those huge Costco Grade X workbooks and collect the moneys from mom and grandma. Ok, I did it all for money. I would read tons of books and compete to get many leaves on the reading tree (grade 5). I came in 2nd. To be fair, I had to compete with the girl who brought a book to our Girl Scouts Christmas party and anti-socialed us to re-read Harry Potter. She's hilariously and fittingly a Librarian now.

I wasn't bullied but I could see being the weird vomit girl could cause me to be bullied. By middle, I was struggling with anxiety but that horrifying type where I would vomit a lot. I would get the cold sweats, rapid heart beat, and my hearing would intensify. It destroyed my health and body. Something about Catholicism and Catholic school didn't sit well with me. I'm glad my teacher was so understanding, the school nurse wasn't. The first time she called my mom to pick me up, she told her nevermind because I was reading a book while waiting lmao. I should have seen a doctor, psychiatrist, anybody. I was already very skinny and losing my breakfast or lunch every few days if not everyday is very extreme. By 7th grade, I was more comfortable with that school. Going to public school would have been a nightmare, I'm glad I stuck it out.

My mom didn't want to pay for the nice Catholic high school all of my friends were going to. It was beautiful and a mile from the beach, we just couldn't afford it. In middle school, I was playing too many video games and totally forgot about school. Grades and studying were not a concern. I didn't appreciate school and didn't deserve to go. I think a lot of people my age are like this. I did the homework, did the schoolwork, did the projects, and never studied. I went to the local Catholic school, very fucking good for sportsball and that's about it.

By high school, I made some friends but not close friends. I stopped caring about school but did the same as middle school. I went to an ok state school after getting rejected by my first choice. I was obviously not going to get a 3.5GPA to enter the nursing program, so stupidly switched to premed. I got a rude fucking awakening after skating by in school for so long. I was too dumb for premed but finished the degree.

I actually had to study to get good grades. Instead of letting that destroy my self-worth like I've seen it destroy others I learned how to study and be productive. I didn't think 'whoops got a B+ in intro to intro to chem, guess I better drop out of college.' It probably didn't effect me because I knew I was kinda dumb and didn't put much stock in being 'naturally smart' the way mom likes to blow smoke up my ass. Keeping in mind, she's the one who went to UCLA. I don't know their rank in the 70s but it was #14 in the US and News Report for Global University rankings in 2022-2023. Sooooo whatever mom. From then on, I knew I had to put the effort in. I just knew I had to graduate and min wage jobs are not my jam.

I switched to computer science, got the degree and am now working as a programmer. It's not even really programming. I'm not at a big tech company and I probably never will be but I want to. Damn, do I want to. I want the free lunch. I can't even be a charity case hire because there's no free money anymore.

I'd say I have achieved things many others haven't but I'm still dissatisfied. I got my degrees, I got my name on a research paper, I got a very high impact project, I got a cute bf and we're getting married in about a year. My limiting factor is still my time management and my ability to work hard, which is why I'm doing the 100 days of productivity and ill do another 100 until I get what I want. Nobody is standing in my way, it just me and my brain and a quiet life of no impact and mediocrity waiting in the wings. I'm not underappreciated or overlooked for opportunities, they're out there I just need to get started.

[mysticpetals]

When we were young (1)

Pairing — Jake × f!mc (Syianne Langford)

Genre — Hogwarts!au, (reluctant) friends to lovers, humor, fluff

Word count — 1.5k

Summary — Jake and Syianne had known each other since their first year, but growing up has changed their relationship and not for the better. While one of them tries to save it, the other doesn't want anything to do with it. Whatever will they do?

Notes — so! I'm back with a Jake fic after 7372862 years lol this is honestly not my best work and I hope you guys can ignore any discrepancies in there. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it 💖 p.s I'm a Slytherin myself ;)

It was a well known fact in Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry that every Slytherin needed a Hufflepuff.

The mostly brooding house members get a bad reputation because of the work of previous students in Slytherin and that's why, it was an unspoken rule amongst the Hufflepuffs that they'd all befriend at least one Slytherin so that no one feels alone at the magical school. Because no matter which house they belonged to, no one deserves to feel as if they're not wanted.

And while the houses were much more comfortable and united with each other after the defeat of Voldemort, some stigmas ran too deep to be ignored so easily.

Jake knew this. Had known it ever since he sat down at the Slytherin table after his sorting and the older students mentioned that they'd be greeted enthusiastically by the Hufflepuffs and not to be put out by this. They'd be getting a friend for life after all, one that won't discriminate against them because of the colors they wore.

He just didn't expect his Hufflepuff to be a cheerful, bubbly and overly optimistic girl, Syianne Langford.

Don't get him wrong, he really appreciated having a friend right from the beginning of his journey at Hogwarts. It had seemed like a godsend at first, considering how shy and antisocial he tended to be. And Syianne was nice, she really was. It was just…..she was too nice. He couldn't understand how a person could be so happy at all times and as much as he appreciated her, he also didn't like spending a lot of time with her. It was confusing in the beginning, to say the least, how he could hold a civil conversation with her one day and then didn't speak to her again for two.

Now in his fifth year, he wished he had gotten anyone else other than her as he watched her enter the Potions classroom and scan the room for him. His attempts to hide himself by ducking his head seemed to not have worked as he heard her quick steps come towards him, sliding on the stool next to him.

"Hello, Jake!"

Merlin, how was she so loud? And why? It was only 11 am, and he just wanted to go to sleep. But of course, his Hufflepuff was the human embodiment of sunshine and he sighed, lifting his head and giving Syianne a strained smile.

"Hello, Syianne. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing good! I'm so excited for herbology today, I heard Professor Sprout is going to let us handle the venomous tentacula!" She chirped, practically bouncing on her stool, which teetered uncertainty. She had a wide smile on her face and Jake almost felt bad for what he was about to say.

"Why are you happy about coming in contact with a poisonous plant? One that could kill you?" He scrunched his face, not liking Herbology or the hazardous greenhouses they had to study in. They were too bright and colorful for his taste.

Syianne's eyes dimmed a little and she pouted, narrowing her eyes.

"You could at least pretend to be excited. The plant is actually very sweet once you get to know her," she grumbled and Jake looked at her in disbelief and something akin to horror.

"Her? Are you—"

"Good morning class! Let's begin today's lesson shall we?"

The Professor entered the classroom and they began the lesson. Jake would have thought that Syianne would be cross with him after he insulted her precious plants but to his chagrin, she was back to her usual self and talked to him all throughout the lesson, with him giving less than enthusiastic responses to her rapid questions. By the end of the lesson, Jake's hands were tired from stirring the potion and his ears were about to fall off.

He finally heaved a sigh of relief when the Professor said that they could leave and continue making it in the next class. He practically tossed his books in the bag and got up from his seat when a hand caught his wrist. He swivelled around to frown at Syianne who only smiled in return.

"We have Herbology next, let's go walk together?" She asked and he thought of various reasons he could use to get out of it but in the end, nodded wearily, getting a blinding smile from the girl in return.

"Great, let's go!"

The walk to Herbology greenhouses was rather pleasant. Syianne didn't speak as much, taking in the sight of the large grounds and Jake had a minute to himself. He was thinking that if it was like this all the time, he could get used to Syianne's company, before his thoughts were interrupted by Syianne grabbing his arm and yanking him towards herself.

He stumbled and almost fell onto her but at the last minute, held onto her shoulders to avoid the both of them tumbling to the ground. He raised his head to angrily berate her but froze realising how close they were to each other. Jake, never being one for close physical contact, blushed furiously, his cheeks turning the color of Griffindor's flag and sputtered, releasing her shoulders and stepping aside.

"Wh-why did you do that?" He cleared his throat but didn't have to wait for an answer as Richy Rogers, a Ravenclaw, swooshed past them on his broom, laughter ringing behind his wake and Professor McGonagall's angry voice telling him to 'come back here at once!'.

Jake turned to Syianne, awkwardly trying to thank her for saving him but she just shook her head with a smile.

"Come on, we're friends. It's what we do for each other," she said and then continued on towards the greenhouses.

Jake felt a little silly afterwards. Since growing up, he had even less interest in talking to anyone and usually remained by himself or occasionally with his half sister Lilly. He began to distance himself from Syianne, who he used to spend some time with earlier but now it was only when they had classes together. He decided that he'd try to be a little more civil with the girl who was still trying to save their friendship. He didn't have to constantly be around her but he'll try not to give dry answers in response to her never-ending questions.

The Herbology classroom was filled with nervous students with a few excited exceptions and Jake found himself stepping back when Professor Sprout placed a writhing tentacula on their table. Syianne looked like Christmas had come early as she watched the plants arms slither around the table, trying to find something to latch onto.

"Today you'll be collecting three leaves from your respective plants for your Potions inventory. These plants are still babies but that doesn't mean they can't hurt you. Be careful not to let them sting you, you'll be out for days if it happens. You can use a stunning charm to stun them and collect the leaves. Now please begin!"

Jake had even less of a desire to do anything after hearing Professor Sprout's words but Syianne was all for it, wearing her dragon hide gloves and looking at him.

Jake sighed and wore his gloves, carefully stepping towards the plant. He took out his wand to perform the stunning spell when Syianne came between him and the plant, cooing and stroking it's vines. He faltered, looking at her in disbelief as she baby talked the plant and to his surprise, the plant calmed down and stopped moving.

"How are you doing that?" He couldn't help but ask and she turned to him with a grin.

"They're babies, aren't they? So I'm just calming them down. We won't have to stun them that way. Here, you try!" She stepped aside to allow him to tackle the plant but he immediately shook his head.

"No, I'm good."

"Nonsense, it won't bite."

But alas, Jake's luck for the day seemed to have run out because as soon as Syianne stopped touching the plant, it started writhing like before and one of it's vines immediately wrapped around Jake's arm, tightening around it. Before Jake could stun him, the vines yanked him forward and his stomach collided with the corner of the table, knocking all breath out of him. He fell to his knees, wincing as the thorns cut his arm.

Just as suddenly as it had happened, Jake felt the vines release his arm and Professor Sprout leaning over him, with Syianne at his side, looking at him worriedly.

Efforts to reconcile be damned, he didn't even want to see her face right now.

"I'm afraid we might have to go to the hospital wing, dear. And don't worry about your assignment, I'm sure Syianne will manage by herself," Professor Sprout said, lifting him up and Syianne nodded rapidly at her words.

Gritting his teeth, he sent her a sharp look, making clear his dislike and took grim satisfaction in the fact that her face fell and she wasn't smiling anymore.

[larrydoinglaundry]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

Thank you @larrysballetslippers  for tagging me.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 4

2. Word count posted for the year: 136552

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

Bookmarks: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

Comments: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

More under the cut.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

You were a beam of light, lit up my broken sky, let's call it You were a beam of light now lmao. It was my first long fic for this fandom and I was, and still am, proud of how I wrote kink exploration and Louis' progress as a dom. I think they have a really healthy relationship.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):  Noooo don't want to do this. I'm proud of each work for different reasons and I'm very attached to them all.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I need to share two! These ones, as well as all my favorite reviews, is for You were a beam of light. People seem to love the way h&l communicate and support each other and that's all I wanted - to show a healthy relationship where you can be exactly who you are.

Oh my, i love it so much. As in. You dont know how much this affected me haha. I dont even know how to explain myself without sounding like an idiot hahahaha but damn it this fic is definitely going to my top fave fics. Its so well written and well done. Fluff? Chefs kiss, The communication? Chefs kiss, smut? CHEFS FCKING KISS!!!! You just raise the fcking bar for any fic that has bdsm for me hahahaha also i know I already commented it but you made me realized what kind of kinks i might have hahaha ya wann know the top of my kink? COMMUNICATION!!! So many problems/arguments solved by talking and listening. AHHHHHKKKKK thank you for this, hope you are having a fcking good day!!!!

Another one here, not the entire comment because it was long.

 I LOVED the scene where Louis went to go visit Harry at work (*blushes* and also the wedding escapade + Harry being Louis good girl). I really appreciated that you chose to make Harry non-binary and it was lovely to see the conversation between him and Louis. It was very sweet to see Louis support Harry in that moment and in the story overall. On that topic, I loved seeing how you made Harry and Louis a supportive unit for each other. Like they were so good at communicating with each other throughout and even when they sometimes weren’t (like with the caning) they were able to get to that point where they could talk things out. I can tell you put a lot of effort on developing the characters (Harry and Louis ex, their friends, etc

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

A really devastating period not too long ago when I was writing a fic I haven't yet published while trying to also make progress with my thesis. I think I mentioned before that writing just got to a point where it wasn't fun. I forced myself to write instead of giving up but I definitely did it while sobbing uncontrollably in frustration over my own "poorly told story", grammar and boring plots lol.

I got over it, lmao. I love my current work more than I've ever loved any of my works. Thank you Cait for being the best person ever and being so patient. Your very necessary yet gentle criticism has been vital.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Figging scene in You were a beam of light🙈 It wasn't part of the original plan haha.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Hmm! There are so many in my not yet published work.

But if I'm thinking about published works,,, my most recent Christmas fic had some themes that have touched me more or less personally, so I'll choose this;

“These past few weeks that you’ve lived here, every time I get home from an early shift, you’re outside playing with Alex. Paying attention and being present, unlike lots of other people," Louis explains, stroking Harry's leg with his thumb, "You involve him when you bake, you purr when you breastfeed him. I can see how much you love being a mother and you being tired, feeling excited about getting to spend some time away from him or you not being able to buy a kitchen set for him does not make you a bad mother.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Oh, wow. Uh. Writing wise,,, Grammar. It has gotten so much better. Maybe narratating, too? I don't know, my works feel richer in many ways. I'm still very critical of my works but I think certain emotions come across better. The smut is fire, in my opinion at least lmao.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

To further broaden my vocabulary, my narratating skills and my story planning skills. I want to be able to further enrich my dialogues.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

My beta for long fics aka Cait @stylesthebrave ❤️ I also absolutely love how much excitement Mia @brightgolden has shown for my upcoming work haha.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year?

Yes but I don't want to elaborate 🙃 Keep on guessing!

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I don't think I'm the right person to share any wisdom😭 But I mean,,,

Take a breath. Relax. It's okay.

Writing can be frustrating for many reasons. Maybe your writing doesn't meet your own expectations. Maybe you don't get the amount of kudos you wish, or as many reviews as you think you'd deserve. Don't base your writing joy on something that comes from the outside. Base it on what comes from the inside. Write because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. Inner motivation is much more powerful than outer.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

My Silver Fox aka Actor Louis fic !! It's so close to being finished. Gas me up guys, gals and non-binary pals so I get the mighty force and motivation to finish it😭

Also excited for writing Girl direction for the first time! Love me some tender girl on girl love. With a twist though - it's ABO. So excited to see what I can do with that verse with F/F.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

Who has done this already? I don't know💀

@stylesthebrave @brightgolden @jacaranda-bloom @hershelsue @neondiamond @larry-hiatus @absoloutenonsense

[ifwallscouldtalkkkk]

"Look, I'm not gonna kidnap you" - Michael Clifford Oneshot (COLLEGE)

Female reader × Michael Clifford

Mentions of alcohol, slightly tipsy (consensual) interactions, swearing, SMUT.

____________________________________

You miss your bus home after a night partying with friends. Luckily, you meet a guy willing to give you a ride home, and his playful pinky promise to not kidnap you somehow convinces you to accept.

The smut in this story is fairly short. This was my first ever attempt at writing fanfic back in 2018, and I was a bit scared of sounding stupid

____________________________________

Your shoes clacked as you ran on the cobblestones. You were so close to the bus station that you could see the bus driver flicking a cigarette butt onto the ground and leaving the embers glowing on the dark cobblestones, before taking his seat behind the wheel. You picked up your pace even more and frantically waved a hand in the air, hoping that you could cut ahead as the bus made its turn around the station back and onto the road. You cursed under your breath, mentally labeling yourself an idiot for staying at the party a couple of extra minutes to say your goodbyes to a friend who was too preoccupied with shouting random answers to the ongoing pictionary game to even hear you.

You skipped every other step on the small set of stairs to reach the platform, and when you reached the corner where the bus would turn, you started jumping up and down and waving in a feeble attempt to get the driver to stop and pick you up even though you weren't technically in the pick up zone. You could see him seeing you, it was a clear summer night and thus barely even dark! But the near empty bus didn't stop. The driver probably saw you as an entitled child who was too drunk to be on time, and maybe he was at least 25% right.

”Fucking bastard” you squeezed out through clenched teeth as you stomped around in a little circle with your head thrown back in frustration. Calling your parents to drive an hour in the middle of the night to come pick you up and let you off at your dorm was not ideal. You knew that they would do it for you, not wanting you to walk the 6 miles home. No, this was definitely not your plan, but maybe it was a bit irresponsible to plan to take the very last bus for the night. You stomped one last time and breathed out deeply.

”What the fuck are you doing, girl?”, someone called out in a humored undertone.

You swiveled around and your eyes landed on a car parked a short distance away, at the designated pick up- drop off parking area. The boy whom the voice belonged to leaned out the open window of the driver’s seat, with his arms folded and propped up on the edge of the window. His smug smirk felt hurtful in your frustrated state, but it brought you back to reality somewhat. You could admit that you probably looked like a child who didn't get a pony for christmas – and to be honest, you felt the same amount of betrayal.

”What a fucking jerk!”, the guy in the car yelled when you didn't answer. ”Where ya heading to?”

You donned a tortured expression, brushed out your skirt, picked your bag off the ground, and started walking home.

You heard the lone car start and you put a bit more speed in your step. It soon pulled up mere inches from you anyways.

”Come on, you're not seriously walking home? You obviously live a ways away since you were supposed to take the bus”, he said with the same amused tone in his voice.

”I'll be ok, and you're probably wanting to get home yourself”, you said, trying to politely reinforce the idea of him leaving you alone

”Look, I’m not gonna kidnap you, I pinky promise”, he chuckled at his own words but continued when you kept your eyes locked straight ahead. ”Girl, I’m guessing that you live on campus, and that's like a billion miles away. I’ll drop you off all gentlemanly at your doorstep and tip my imaginary top hat at you as I drive away, never to be seen again.” You stopped walking and he had to jerk his car to a stop along with you.

”The fact that you know that I live on campus is not very reassuring”, you replied.

He rolled his eyes and let out a little laugh. ”That bus-” he pointed down the road that your planned ride home had disappeared along a few minutes earlier ”-goes straight to campus. I just dropped my pal off here to avoid driving him all the way to the uni, but looks like I’ll have to go there now anyways.” You looked him in the eyes. The way he spoke elicited a strange amount of trust, and although a couple of piercings and a questionable hair color for an adult could be spotted under his beanie, he didn't seem like bad news. ”Look, the door doesn't even lock properly, I wouldn't even be able to kidnap you!” he demonstrated the faulty lock on the passenger door. You had to smile at the enthusiastic way he presented it.

”You promise you won't leave serial killer notes in my mailbox?” He lit up even more at your reply.

”Promise”, he said. You swung your bag up on your shoulder and reached for the door. This was in no way the wisest thing to do in the situation, but you were already overwon by his goofy charm.

You climbed in and kept your gaze forward, feeling the boy's eyes on you, and you caught yourself subconsciously holding your breath. You caved and looked at him when it became clear he wasn't going to drive forward before you gave in.

”Seatbelt.” he said with a parental tone. ”Can't have such a pretty girl making unsafe choices!” It wasn't as funny of a comment as his facial expression suggested, but he really knew how to lighten the mood. ”Michael.” He stretched his hand out to shake yours formally. You replied with your name and a firm handshake. ”Oh girl, with that grip, no one could even dream of succeeding in kidnapping you" he said, laughing at your overly stern behavior.

”I just hate limp handshakes", you smiled, rummaging around in your bag after a snack. ”Damn it I left my granola bar at home”, you muttered under your breath.

”Oh uh, I've got a bag of peanuts somewhere…” Michael trailed off, reaching over to the glove department to rummage through his own stuff. His warm hand grazed your bare knee while reaching and you tensed up at his accidental touch.

”Dude, eyes on the road!” you exclaimed and he chuckled in response.

”I thought risk taking was a theme tonight – oh wait, here they are!” He plopped a bag of salted peanuts in your lap.

”Wait, you're not allergic, are you?” he asked. ”Some risks are not worth taking.”

”No, I love peanuts, no worries”, you poured a handful out and put a few in your mouth. After a night consisting mostly of liquor and dancing around, something to eat felt heavenly.

Michael asked you a couple of standard questions about your studies, and you gave all the standard answers.

”I kinda miss studying. Never thought I'd say that." Michael smiled. His hand dipped down into the bag in your lap to get some peanuts, getting dangerously close to between your thighs. You stumbled for a few seconds.

”Um oh, ok really?” His behavior was so unlike anyone else you knew. He was so daring and sure of himself, but he felt so warm and fuzzy in contrast. Maybe the previously ingested alcohol skewed your judgement, but you couldn't help but find this stranger utterly charming.

”Yeah… I'm on the road a lot nowadays for work", came his reply.

”Oh, what do you do? Uber driver for college girls who can't keep track of time?” You saw one corner of his mouth pulling smugly upwards at your joke.

”Uh no, I'm in the music producing business.”

”Huh, that's fun. I wasn-" you didn't finish your sentence as a deer jumped out onto the otherwise vacant road from between a few bushes on the side of the long stretch of asphalt nearing the campus grounds.

”Oh shit", you heard Michael exclaim while swerving a bit and stepping hard on the brakes. The deer stared confused at the headlights before scurrying off towards the other side of the road. ”You ok?!” the boy asked between quick breaths. Your breath was labored too, but your eyes and mind were mostly focused on the male hand that had instinctively been placed protectively on your thigh while braking. Michael unfastened his seatbelt and leaned closer when he didn't get an answer.

”Uh, yeah…” your eyes now focused on his light, green, worried eyes.

You just stared. You didn't mean to, but you didn't make an effort to look away either. He had gotten so close. His left hand was on your upper arm in a protective manner, and his face was just inches away from yours. You didn't mean to stare, and you most definitely didn't mean for your eyes to briefly flicker down to look at his lips. He noticed. He must have noticed given the way you were both so focused on each other.

”Wa-", you began, but didn't finish the sentence. To be honest, you couldn't even remember what you were about to say. Your eyes flickered down again, when your vocal cords failed you.

‘Shit!’ Your mind blasted out inside your own head, but Michael didn’t pull away, or look alarmed. If anything, his brow furrowed deeper, all the while he was trying to calm his own breath. After a couple more sharp exhales his grip on your arm tightened, and he pressed his lips to yours quickly, as if he was taking a running start. You kissed back automatically before you even registered what was happening. You tensed up and felt Michael’s grip loosen as if to retreat. 'No no no', you were not gonna lose this moment. No way. To signal that you were on board with what was happening you brought your hand up to his neck. ‘He can't stop now’, you were aching for him to continue touching you.

He got more involved in the kiss in response, and your other hand found its way up to the back of his neck too. The hand that had previously resided firmly on your arm now fell to your thigh and snaked its way to the back of your knees, pulling you closer still. Your voice had given up any sort of attempt of self control, and a short moan escaped your lips. The man reacted to your premature excitement and his right hand fumbled to find your seat belt button. In a surprisingly smooth motion for the situation being, he simultaneously pushed his own seat back from the steering wheel, and pulled you onto his lap as soon as the belt let go of you. Both your hands braced against Michael's chest, while his own hands pressed into your sides. Your fingers curled to grip his shirt, and his fingers mimicked yours by curling too, his nails digging into you. You could feel your pulse going crazy. Michael's heartbeat was probably also going off the rails, because he lifted you off of him a couple of inches so that he could grow more comfortably in his pants. He looked you deep in your eyes the entire time and let out a lengthy exhale.

“Girl, I don't even know what to do with you.”

He grabbed your ass to grind you into him. You let yourself angle your head back in reaction to your core finally being stimulated, and Michael straightened up his upper body to nibble at your neck. You helped him by moving your own hips along with the rhythm, but his hands still stayed firmly on your ass. When you couldn't take it anymore, you reached down to unclasp his belt, but your fingers fumbled more than you intended. You hadn't noticed how much you were shaking in excitement before now.

The stranger turned lover stared into your eyes patiently while you unbuttoned his jeans, but as soon as you managed to slide them down his thighs he pressed you hard against him, almost as hard as he pressed your lips together. Your underwear starting to become soaked from the thought of what was to come. Michael shifted his underwear down to meet his jeans. His hands couldn't decide where to rest, alternating between your hips, your chest, and your neck.

When focusing on your hips, his fingers on one hand slid up ever so slightly underneath the hem of your underwear, and his touch left you grinding harder into his thigh. You could tell that Michael knew how wet you were, your panties practically gliding around. His fingers found your hemline once more, and he slowly let his fingers follow the leg seam downwards. He let two fingers slip between you and the fabric to rest right outside your entrance for what felt like several minutes, but then inserted them forcefully when your whimpers became more desperate. He groaned too, from getting to feel you from the inside and knowing what pleasures it gave you. As if this didn't feel explosive enough already, his thumb joined his other fingers and circled your clit carefully.

You felt your cheeks turn red from the blood rushing fast through your body. Feeling sparks in your lower stomach already was not something you anticipated. Michael seemed to understand though, because he stilled you from assisting his fingers’ movement. He had stopped his movements too to make sure you would focus on his face. The look of his eyes as he kept them locked on yours was piercing and the icy-ness of it felt amazing on your hot cheeks. He held one hand deep inside of you, and the other on his own throbbing organ. He slowly replaced his two fingers with his cock, letting you get used to him gradually. You sank down, and the pain of stretching was miniscule compared to all the pleasure in the air. Once Michael was sure that you were comfortable with him, he elevated his hips just enough to push your limits. He finally let out a well kept-in moan. The subtle hip movements turned more and more intense until the point where you could tell you would end up with leg cramps in a few hours. The car wasn’t gigantic by any means, but you found ways to make do. With your hands behind your back, you could hold onto the steering wheel for support, with the added benefit of letting Michael’s hands roam over your torso freely.

Eyes watering, heart pumping, and legs trembling, you could feel your orgasm coming closer. Both your moans blended together into an audible mess as the electric pulses took over your body. After your release, your body relaxed heavy against the steering wheel.

A long, loud honk sounded out before you could get the chance to lift yourself off in horror. ‘Oh shit.’ The motion of lifting yourself off and plopping down in the passenger seat again wasn’t graceful, but it was at least fairly quick. You sat paralyzed holding onto your seat as a dog barked loudly at the sudden interruption of the usual peace and quiet. A lamp lit up in a house a few hundred yards away. It took a minute, but Michael finally chuckled - his hands rubbing his face. You cracked a smile too, but your stiffened posture would take a few minutes to get rid of. Michael clearly had a more easily relaxed personality than you.

The back of his head lay on the head rest, and he let it fall to one side to turn towards you. The same all-too-humored look that he had when you missed the bus was painted over his face. He didn't say anything, and neither did you. Words didn't really help in this predicament. He just pulled his pants up to waist level again and turned the car keys. You two drove in silence the few minutes left to reach campus grounds.

He crawled to a stop outside of the main dorms, and turned his head lazily again. You had quickly gathered your stuff in your hands as he pulled in, and you got out the second the car stopped.

“Well, uh… Thanks for the ride”, you said politely.

“You’re welcome”, he replied just as politely, and with a rare sincerity.

You raised your palm up in a subdued goodbye as you took a few steps backwards, and then turned around to walk away. Your shoes on the asphalt click-clacked loudly in the silent summer night. You reached for the door handle, the cool metal feeling sobering in your grip.

“HEY!” a word sliced through the silence.

You spun around on your toes quickly.

“Hey girl!” Michael continued when he knew he had your attention. He was leaning out the rolled down window again.

“I know where you live!” The grin on his face almost bursting by the seams.

A huge smile immediately spread across your face too.

ifwallscouldtalkkkk MASTERLIST

[morelikesin]

You Know You're Cute, Right?

ANOTHER APEX FIC BECAUSE I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF SKNDLWKDM,, this time I wrote differently than how I normally do - it consists of quick snippets of a day-in-the-life type thing, featuring Mirage-Octane-Bloodhound-Caustic as a polycule 💕 Huge inspo from this song (as well as included in the fic)✨

Take this as a late Christmas-early New Years gift ✨ Super fluffy and casual type work, with a heavy dash of romanticism because I'll be damned if I'm not a romantic. Fic under the cut 💕💕

"You call your cat sweetheart? 'Zander-"

"Not a word."

Elliott suppressed a snort. That cheeky little smile he had when he found an opening for playful jabs was always so irritating - the kind of irritating that made the scientist want to kiss it right off of him.

"I think it's cute," Octavio hummed, leaning back into the sofa with his arms crossed behind his head. "That means you're cute. Que lindo."

The way Alexander scoffed an "Octavio" would've been more intimidating had it not been for the big, sleepy cat he cradled in his arms. She stretched her big fluffy paws, made a squeak as she yawned, and buried her head into the man's chest.

Blóð smiled.

"Vhatever helps you sleep at night, elskan."

It was incredibly late. The last time they had checked the clock wasn't that long ago, and apparently it was supposed to be sometime around 4 in the morning. It didn't feel that way at all.

They knew it'd kick their ass in the morning - getting so little sleep.

Well, Octavio might be fine. But Elliott had made it a habit to wake up at 8, Blóð still hadn't made much progress on getting more sleep to begin with, Alexander had his internal clock waking him at 7, and they all had somewhere to be at 9. This entire night was probably a huge mistake. They normally try to get to sleep by 2, but admittedly, they may or may not have a bad practice of keeping each other awake for company's sake.

And now that an entirely new subject was brought up after Alexander had rather adoringly picked up Bear, his senior cat, and called her "sweetheart," the prospect of playfully pestering him about his soft spot was all too enticing to go to sleep just yet.

"You've never even called us sweetheart," Octavio began. "You save it for her?"

There was a brief pause. Alexander had kept petting her back paw with his thumb, as his eyes remained averted until he sighed. "It...is something I've grown accustomed to for her, yes."

Elliott made a pleased hum. "Well isn't that just adorable," he teased before leaning over and petting Bear across her back - fur unbelievably soft.

It started as a joke a while ago - the way they noticed how Bear could make anyone sleepy just by looking at her - her cozy looking fur, her sweet little face, her ability to get comfortable and sleep virtually anywhere - but over time the joke had increased its humour when the idea became seemingly true. Alexander occasionally would mention how he'd sometimes stop working at his desk late at night because Bear was sleeping in his lap, and turn in a few hours early compared to his usual 2 in the morning bed time. This was deemed an exaggeration until the three others experienced it for themselves.

This happened to be one of those magical sleepy-Bear moments, as made evident by how Blóð made a quiet yawn shortly after leaning over to give Bear a loving scritch under her chin.

Octavio staved off a matching yawn. He rubbed at his eyes, began to stand, and nodded to Alexander's bed. "We should probably try and get some sleep."

-

The sun coming in through the blinds was a rude awakening. Elliott instinctually raised an arm to cover his eyes - making a soft groan in annoyance at the bright rays somehow coming through at a perfect angle to hit him in the face. Turning, he lowered his arm and began to sit up slowly as to not wake up the sleeping Octavio who had his arm wrapped around his waist.

Elliott sighed, and leaned down to give him a kiss on the temple. He lingered for a moment before sitting up again and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

He noticed a weight on his legs, and looked to see a peacefully sleeping Bear curled up in a ball. As he went to pet her head, his eyes glanced up to see Blóð sitting in Alexander's desk chair - hands busy sewing a thick-fur item. From the time spent with the hunter, Elliott had picked up on the types of hides they'd hunt and use - this one appearing to be rabbit fur. What they were making, though, wasn't clear yet.

Elliott's voice came deeper, and a bit more throaty in post-sleep fashion, "Morning."

Blóð briefly looked up, gave a gentle smile, and proceeded to look back down to continue their work. "Góðan morgin. How did you sl'leep?"

"Pretty good, considering." He took in a deep breath, and stretched his arms out in front of him. He rested his hands in his lap as he went to speak again, "When did you wake up?"

"Before Alexander, but not by long."

Elliott frowned slightly. Blóð took notice when they looked back up to gauge his reaction. They made an effort to ease his concerns.

"I'm sure Octavio will get me to take a nap vith him later today," they assured, "don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

Elliott made a small hum indicating reluctant agreement. "...Alright. Just promise me to keep doin' what you're doin' - trying t'get more sleep, I mean."

"I promise, ástin."

If Elliott was a sucker for anything, it'd be terms of endearment - especially when they're used so casually. Having all four of them be big on using said terms made for an eternally happy Witt.

"Beloved, right?"

Blóð hummed, "Yes. Closest tr'ranslation I can equate to it." They briefly stopped their handiwork in the wake of a smile they couldn't seem to get rid of. "I'm touched you remembered."

Elliott smirked and made a quiet laugh, turning his head to find the time on the side table clock - 8:21 AM - before looking back over. "I try my best. Making it a goal to learn as much as I can from you and Octavio."

"We find it very sweet," Blóð assured, letting it be known that Octavio and they had seemingly discussed the language efforts before. "Alexander said as much, that you and he were doing so."

"Think I can speak for him when I say that we love learning it. Speaking of him...?"

"He's downstairs."

Elliott made a quiet "Ah." As much as it pained him to do so, he gently lifted Bear and set her on a free spot of the blanket so he could get up - her being left generally unfazed, besides her slightly annoyed tail wag in being moved from her spot.

With Octavio being so small, Elliott could easily leave the bed without disturbing him too much, albeit moving his arm so it wasn't draped across his body anymore. He stretched, walked over to Blóð, and gestured for a kiss. They hummed, seemingly still in their work, but Elliott knew they were keen - the hunter picking up the hint and looking up so their lips could gently meet.

"Que lindo, mis amores."

The two of them made a small hum in surprise before pulling away from one another with a blush. Blóð was smiling to themself shyly, while Elliott made a small chortle and flirted with the newly-awakened Octavio, wearing his darling little smirk.

"Welcome to join us."

Octavio laughed - the sound half-purr, half-grain. "I'd love to. Watching is only so much fun."

He started to rise, stretching his arms upwards and making a groan before reaching over the bed to grab his prosthetics and put them on. Standing, shaking his legs to help himself wake up, he made a small yawn before walking around the bed and giving a kiss to each partner - looking satisfied with himself.

"Big guy downstairs?"

Blóð nodded.

Elliott and Octavio made a mutual decision to go see him - the latter turning around before they headed out the bedroom door to question Blóð. "You comin' down?"

They shook their head, hands busy sewing the fur item again. "I will soon. I von't be long in finishing this."

Octavio nodded, and proceeded to take Elliott's hand as they went downstairs.

-

Dr. Somers and Alexander seemed to be having a chat when the two made it to the kitchen, their hands busy with mugs of black coffee all the while. Elliott could never understand how people drank their coffee so bitter, much less Octavio.

Dr. Somers was the first to notice the two, as she was facing the stairs leaning against the counter. Giving a small wave and giving a nod to Alexander, she drank from her mug and gave them a minute to exchange expected affections - something she learned the polycule are incredibly prone to do, despite several joking complaints about PDA from the others.

Octavio quipped with a laugh between his words as Elliott and Alexander exchanged a coffee-flavored kiss, "Not even creamer, 'Zander?"

The man bore an amused hum. "Black coffee actually tastes like coffee. You may as well drink candy if you add so much sugar to it."

"You sound old."

"No avoiding that, I'm afraid." He gestured for a kiss, to which Octavio happily gave, before drinking from his mug again. "How did you sleep?"

"Great!"

Elliott gave a "Ditto" in response, though he followed it up with a fitting yawn and a "Wish I slept some more, though."

The statement was seconded by the way Alexander made a soft hum in agreement, and thirded by Octavio and his rightly timed yawn.

Dr. Somers waited a few quiet moments before stepping forward and piping into the conversation. "It'll just be a few stores we stop by, darlin's. Doubt we'll be out that long."

"That's still gonna' be so long," Octavio complained, his voice coming as a whine.

It was common knowledge that Octavio wasn't exactly big on shopping. Elliott, however, could spend all day doing it. If they had to disagree on anything, it'd be how long they were out for things - Alexander and Blóð keeping things relatively frustration-free during a shopping trip, though Blóð would always get antsy to go home if they stayed out longer than a few hours out in a city.

"It'll be fine, babe," Elliott assured the man while rubbing his back. "It's kinda'- kinda' just mainly food shopping, isn't it? You like doing that."

"Aren't we going to the pet store after, though?"

Elliott rose a brow, "'Tavio, are you complaining about that?"

Octavio snorted and began walking to the fridge - grabbing a Bang from inside and popping the can open. "No, para nada - prefer that to everything else, even food."

Mary laughed at that, shaking her head before taking a gulp of coffee and making her way to the living room. Before she left, though, she spoke with her back still facing them, "Oh, remind me t'grab a level while we're out -  puttin' up a shelf an' think I lost the one I had."

"Lucky for you, I'm the best at reminding people of things," Elliott half-joked. Mary laughed again and took her leave with a "Thanks."

Being left alone in the kitchen, the three stood in comfortable silence for a few moments. Alexander prompted a question shortly thereafter;

"Is Blóð still upstairs?"

"Yeah," Octavio began, "Think they were working on something - dijo no tardará mucho. I can go see them if-"

The stairs creaked a bit as someone walked down the stairs, causing Octavio to cut himself off as he turned to see who it was. In seeing so, he sighed damn near dreamily and softened his gaze a bit - Elliott and Alexander softening all the same.

Pulling their past-the-waist long black hair behind their jewelry-adorned ear, they rounded the last stair and looked up to see their partners - smiling warmly and lowering their hands to fold their arms. The coyote jaw necklace (that Octavio had gifted them this past holiday, knowing they loved real animal items), that rest against their lower chest rose slightly with every breath, as quaint a detail it was to notice. Not a day goes by do any of them not love seeing their pretty face.

And Elliott made sure to tell them that.

"Not a day goes by do we not love seeing your pretty face."

Blóð bore a chuckle and rolled their eyes, though it didn't mask the rosy blush the comment gave them. "I should say the same for you, ástin."

They unfolded their arms and looked back to the three. They couldn't suppress the amused hum they made in seeing that the three were still checking them out - becoming more flushed and brushing their hair behind their ear again, looking away with a shy smile.

They always looked at each other with such warmth. They got playful tease about it from the others, especially Alexander given he was quite brooding to most things, but the gazes never subsided. They'd like to say they were subtle about it - but everyone else would vote against it. And it'd be true.

They were obvious about it. So sticky-sweet obvious - embraces and hand holding and gazes and kisses and all. They didn't mind.

-

By 10 till 9, mostly everyone was ready - save for Loba, Renee, and Elliott, who always took a while to clean up to their own high standards. Elliott called from upstairs whether he should wear his orange body mist or his cologne, and with the majority vote leaning towards cologne today - well, he must please the people.

With Renee in tow, Elliott had finally come from upstairs. He looked handsome as ever, however, wearing a black turtleneck and an orange, knee length open-front sweater. His hair looked meticulously tended to, tossed to the opposite side of his pierced right ear and framing his face well.

The cologne served him wonders, too, with Blóð and Alexander taking a clear liking to it.

Octavio walked down the stairs with a pep in his step - smoothing back his hair as best he could just so it could partly fall into his face once again. Swinging around the corner, he spotted his partners and proceeded to greet Blóð and Elliott with a firm smack on their behinds. They were startled, sure, but Elliott only looked down to give Octavio a laugh and a smack of his own, while Blóð merely scoffed in jest.

Octavio bit his lip. "Don't you all look good? Eres tan sexy," he gave a wink while unabashedly checking them out. Blóð was always so pretty, even when showing their strength in the games or when they hunted or chopped wood (Octavio could go on for days about that), Elliott was always so charming and confident (even if his suave attempts happened to fail, they were all the more charming), and the rolled-sleeve button up that was unbuttoned just enough to show collarbone and brief chest on Alexander was something Octavio (and the other two, admittedly) would store in the memory bank for personal satisfaction.

"¿Qué hubo?"

"Just talkin' about whatever." Elliott adjusted the cuffs of his orange jacket sleeves, rolling them up his forearm a bit. He took notice of Octavio's outfit. "You gonna' be alright out there? You know I love you in your crop tops, but-"

Octavio made a "Pshhh" and scrunched his nose up a bit in response to that, cutting him off. "I'll be fine, bebé. Can't be that cold outside, can it?"

Alexander seemed to check his phone for confirmation on that. "Sixty degrees."

Elliott did find the temperature better than he had anticipated, but still swiveled his head back to Octavio with brows furrowed in concern.

"You don't even have a jacket."

"I can grab one before we go."

Elliott seemed satisfied by that and left the discussion there.

Loba came downstairs, holding the car keys and jangling them as her other hand brushed her hair past her shoulder. "Any takers on being driver?"

Alexander motioned her to give the keys to him, to which she happily did - she was a great driver, but happened to not be particularly fond of doing so, rather liking going on drives as a passenger.

Octavio quickly claimed shotgun.

Before they left, Blóð gave Octavio the fur item they'd been sewing earlier - the latter finding that it was a soft rabbit fur coat. The delight in his face was all Blóð needed to feel assured that he liked it, and helped him put it on. It was a little big, and just how Octavio liked his sweaters and coats. To all of their agreement, he looked rather stylish in it.

-

They were out for most of the afternoon, starting with a two hour Costco trip (that Octavio nearly made his partners carry him for), several smaller shops in between just to browse, a liquor store to buy champagne and sauvignon to celebrate New Years tonight (along with sparkling juice for Octavio who nay drank alcohol), and a hardware store mainly for Mary to pick up that level Elliott reminded her of. By 4:30, their last store of the day was the pet store - everyone individually needing one thing or another.

When they got inside, Elliott asked his partners if they could accompany him for a minute - guiding them to the aquarium section and proposing something.

"Pick one of these guys that you like," Elliott gestured to the wall of individually kept male betta fish, of all sorts of colors and sizes. "You remember those 5 gallon tanks I got a while back? Thought I'd use 'em, and thought a' you guys."

Like Blóð was simply an animal person, and how Octavio and Alexander were cat people, Elliott was partial towards fish. The two large tanks he manages in the living room are rather serene, and despite Renee's concerns, the fish kept there seem to love the foot traffic of everyone coming through.

"One collectively, or-?"

Elliott shook his head, politely cutting Alexander off, "Three total. Was thinking you all pick one, and I set their tanks up in my room. I-I thought it was a cute idea, I dunno'-"

"It's sweet, actually," Alexander softly spoke.

"Think so?"

Blóð made a content hum - leaning down a bit and surveying the curious little fish to see which one stood out to them. "Incr'redibly, my love."

Octavio's approval was nonverbal, made of him apparently finding which one he wanted immediately and picking up the container the little guy was kept in. He looked to Elliott with stars in his eyes and a grin, "Can we name them?"

Elliott chortled and waved his hand dismissively, "I enco- en- enco- implore you to."

"Octavio Dos."

His answer was so quick the others couldn't help but bear a laugh.

And by the time everyone was at checkout, there was definite fawning over the three new additions to Elliott's personal tanks - Ljón, the cream-colored, fiesty little thing that had fins flowing long behind him that Blóð adored, Violet, the red, pink, and white dumbo betta that was adorably curious much to Alexander's affection, and the deep-red colored Octavio Dos.

-

On the way home, it was decided to just grab something to eat on the way - near everyone could cook, but the idea of standing around in the kitchen to cook for fifteen people was lost.

Natalie passed the aux cord to Octavio, who was just taking his coat off for the ride home. He looked a little beyond himself.

"You trust me with the music? Wow - what'd they put in these fries?"

Natalie held off on a laugh while she tried to finish chewing, though her smile was tell enough on her amusement. "I actually like your music taste."

Makoa requested simply, "Nothing too dirty though, please, Silva."

"Me? Liking dirty music?" Octavio snorted, "You know me so well. How about flirty music?"

The man chortled. "That works, brotha'."

Octavio hooked the cord to his phone, and swiped his screen for a few moments before stopping on something. He looked hesitant, briefly, and pressed his screen. He set his phone down and put his hand on Alexander's, their arms both resting on the armrest.

The song sounded so dreamy. When the intro became a little more recognizable, before the lyrics, Loba made a snort from the back.

"You like this song?"

Octavio feigned offense, looking back to her with a "Of course I like this song!"

He shook his head and laughed softly - looking over to Blóð, who sat behind Alexander, he sang over the song and moved his hand from Alexander to cup their face.

"You're so uwu," his voice came sweet and a bit grainy, moving his hand from their cheek to their chin. Blóð practically giggled - blushing and leaning forward into his touch.

"You make me wanna' do," Octavio took his hand away and gave them a wink, "Naughty things to you - all these things to you, you."

Elliott joined the flirt-singing, joining Octavio in the chorus while they oh-so shamelessly wooed their other two partners (and each other, mind you). The others would've said a joke about it, but Ajay was busy holding Natalie's hand and cuddling up to her, while Anita was busy running her hand through Loba's hair and speaking quietly amongst themselves. The others didn't have the heart to interrupt their moment.

Besides, the song was catchy.

"You know you're cute, right?" Octavio sung in Alexander's direction, who shook his head. Still, he wore a soft smile and kept his hand reached over to rub Octavio's thigh.

Elliott leaned over to the side behind Octavio's seat, Blóð matching the movement from the opposite side, and wrapped an arm around the hunter's waist. He continued the phrase with a cocky smile, "Cute as a button-"

Then the two sang together, "Undoing the buttons and pushing your buttons, I just wanna' get you right-"

It was a red light, and so Alexander took the opportunity to lean over and kiss Octavio - lingering for a moment or two before pulling away and focusing back on the road just in time for the light to turn green.

Octavio's heart was a puddle.

Blóð reached a free hand across the armrest to drape his hand over the one Alexander had over Octavio's leg, their fingers soft and gentle in the way they caressed the back of both their hands. Elliott went to continue singing the song, but Octavio stole a kiss much to his surprise. He hummed, and just before they pulled away, Elliott opened his eyes and let his gaze linger at the man driving.

The glimpse of one another was quick, but just as warm as everything else, and left Elliott with a bigger smile than previously.

Octavio pulled up his leg that wasn't currently the resting place of Alexander's and Blóð's, resting his arm on his knee.

He was so lucky.

-

And finally by 6, everyone was tuckered out - ready to take some personal time alone before reconvening later tonight for celebrations. Putting groceries away, Elliott setting up the bettas (as well as having a bit of an audience while doing so), and having a pre-celebratory drink from the sauvignon left the group in need of a quick sit-down. They found themselves just comfortable in the living room, along with Bear and Octavio's cat, Octave, sleeping on one of the couches. Rightly, this was the couch the four of them decided to occupy.

Renee crossed her legs, her black-painted nails running over the leather of her knee-high boots. "Any plans before tonight?"

"Oh?" Tae Joon began, "I thought we were just going to be alone before- ah, ten tonight?"

"I'm just wondering if that was the time we could agree on."

Octavio gave a nod. "Should work for me, at least. I plan on getting blasted, hah."

There was a heavy silence - his other partners looking rather surprised and, especially Blóð, flushed upon hearing that.

Elliott cleared his throat. "Come again?"

Anita snorted at his wording. Elliott gave a quick "Not- not what I meant, uh-"

Renee shrugged, wearing a look painfully smug. "I mean...a bit too much information, but I'm sure that'll go well."

Alexander cleared his throat.

Octavio, despite his nature to immediately take things dirty, just now got what the issue was. And did he find it hilarious.

Through a series of snorts and laughs, he reiterated what he meant; "If I meant I was gonna' get pounded, I would just say that-"

Blóð, Elliott, and Alexander made a simultaneous "Octavio-!"

He kept laughing, shaking his head, "I meant- like, I'm gonna' smoke a joint. Ay, Dios mío - but hey, if that other option is on the table-"

There was another simultaneous "Octavio!" and it seemed to get him to stop talking and simply laugh. He and the others found this absolutely hilarious, leaving his partners to be lost for words and red in the face.

Octavio snorted, and dared to entertain a final joke.

"Like a refreshment."

"What?" Loba narrowed her eyes, leaning forward in interest in what he could possibly say right now.

"Y'know," Octavio snickered, "Quickie's like a refreshment. And there's four of us - heh, call that a concession stand."

Loba couldn't hold the shocked, boisterous laugh she made hearing that - no one really could.

There was a silence after the laughter died down. It was broken when Ajay snorted, though.

"Stop encouraging him-!" Elliott near scrambled to say, but was cut short when Ajay gave him a laugh and a 'look.'

"I know the one flirting wit' 'im all day isn't telling me t' not encourage him. Don't act like you don't like this."

Elliott quickly bit his tongue and raised his hands in the air.

"Touché."

Another small bout of quiet settled.

Loba snorted.

Octavio looked at her, and when their eyes met, they both snorted, and had to turn away to not outright laugh.

Given the situation, a little fun was wanted out of it. Of course, trivia about one another was a frequent, and a favourite, activity amongst themselves. If they all had any one exact thing in common, it'd be that they were all unabashedly nosy.

Loba uncrossed, then recrossed, her legs as she sat up a little. "Truth or dare without the dare, anyone?"

"I think that's a thing called 'having a conversation,'" Anita jokingly mocked.

"Then let's have one." Loba hummed, "I actually had a question for you," she pointed a nude-shade manicured finger towards Dr. Nox, who looked suddenly surprised.

"What is it?"

The woman leaned forward a bit, cusping her hand around her face as if she was telling a secret - the hand facing no one, ultimately defeating the purpose - and talking somewhat low but audible for everyone to still hear.

"Be honest. Is that sweetheart thing true, or was Octavio being dramatic?"

"Oh my god."

His exasperated expression made his partners in particular so delightfully entertained - Octavio especially, laughing and giving a shrug as he left the man to answer the question for himself. He must've mentioned it to them when they were at a store earlier today.

"The people are waiting," Ajay chimed in. It earned the approval of Loba, as told by the way she looked smug about someone else prodding it.

Alexander lifted his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose in thought, and when he couldn't stave the answer off any longer he was brought to the doorstep of needing to say something.

With hesitation, he sighed. "True enough that she responds to it as well as her actual name."

As if on cue, right after he finished speaking and everyone was ready to pull the expected "big guy soft for a cat" card, Bear shifted her position from simply lying beside him to lying on her side and pressing her face against his upper leg. Despite it all, the instinct to lower a hand and pet her big sweet face was lost not in the man.

The onslaught of "Aww!"s would've been anticipated.

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

thank you! i think you're genuinely the only person that has ever said they actually like the fact that my bathrobe is obnoxiously pink. and you're absolutely right, one of the things i like most about it is that it hurts people's eyes. i love it actually. if you ever celebrate halloween you should absolutely add your bathrobe to your costume. an amazing idea. since it has a mouse face on the hood it could be two costumes rolled into one - both a vampire and a mouse (if in the middle of the evening you get bored of one), which i think would be awesome. and you probably wouldn't get cold (is it cold in nz during halloween? because here it almost always is). we don't celebrate halloween in lithuania either though. which i'm a bit bummed about, because halloween sounds super fun. mostly because of the dressing up! but i did celebrate it once, when i was 11 or 12 maybe? me and a couple of friends decided it would be fun even if it's not really celebrated here. so we dressed up, even went trick ir treating (half the houses had no idea what was happening and also i pretty much froze to death because i was dressed as a dead bride and refused to put a coat on because then you couldn't see my dress) and also watched horror movies. 12 (or 11) year old me thought it was amazing.

oh yeah! i've broken a knife on 2 separate occasions i think. once i tried to get something out of between the blender's blades, used a knife and then accidentally turned the blender on (i'm so fucking glad it was a knife and not my fingers). so the tip of the knife broke off (the blender was ok tho). and the second time i have no idea how it happened. i was cutting up broccoli and the knife just fell apart??? i was so confused, because one second i'm holding a knife and the next it's just two pieces of a handle and the metal part, all separate. had fun explaining that to my dad. you sound pretty unlucky too! i mean, a cut every time you use a knife, but you don't even notice it at the time? i think it's just that knives are out to get us (it's my newest conspiracy theory). i actually get double vision too sometimes! mostly when i'm tired, but i just figured that it was because i have really bad eyesight

they definitely SHOULD teach about gender and sexuality in school. it's a really big problem that in a lot of places it's either not compulsory or not even in the curriculum. honestly, everything i know about sex ed or lgbtq+ i had to learn myself on the internet, because we only had one class when we were like 13 years old with a guest speaker and it was mostly biology and then a little bit about menstruation and pads for girls (i have no idea what they told boys because we were also separated). so sex ed definitely sucks a lot in my country and i bet it's the same in a lot of others, which makes me really mad

exactly!! it's so hard to tell whether i'm feeling romantic or platonic love sometimes! it's confusing. also i remember one time me and a couple of friends had a sleepover and the friend's, who was hosting, parents weren't home so we watched romance movies (scandalous i know). again we were maybe 12. and they kept going "oh he's so hot" and intensely watching the sex scenes. while i was looking away from the tv whenever sexy times were going on and commenting on how much i loved the house design and the garden. gee i wonder what that means. (still can't believe it took me this long to figure out i was ace)

the breakfast went very well though! it's so interesting how different traditions are everywhere. i hope your lunch and the rest of christmas day went well too! (also i forgot to ask last time, but what is boxing day? google says it's mostly a shopping holiday, is it that? we just call it the second day of christmas and it's pretty much the same as christmas day but there's no presents!) but yeah i hope you had fun with your extended family on boxing day!

having acid reflux sounds like it sucks. i love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day (when i don't have to rush that is) and i skip lunch a lot because i usually have no time for it (my schedule kinda sucks), so i usually try to have a bigger breakfast. but hey, peanut butter is good! so at least you can have something that tastes good for breakfast!

aaand i feel like this ask got away from me. sorry it's so long!

it’s because i have t a s t e. it may not be GOOD taste but it sure is...taste...and i am proud of it. and yes, i love the idea of adding my dressing gown to my costume specifically because it means i’m basically in my PJ’s. minimal effort. comfort to the max. living the dream. halfway through the night i’m tired of being the vampire no one invites in so i drop to my knees and start the mouse act. mice are good at getting in houses and getting to chocolate and such. the dream. also i absolutely would get bored of one costume within the space of a few hours knowing me, so that’s a plus. uhhhh halloween is october which is. mid-late spring so it really depends on the day. it might be a little cold, might be shorts weather. I rarely leave my house at night so I’m not an expert on nighttime temperatures sdflsdfjsd. 

I used to wish we did Halloween here but that was mostly because I wanted lollies. Although I also liked playing dress up as a young kid so maybe very young me would’ve vibed with the costume aspect. I know there’s a photo of me when I was like, 5 and my best friend of the time dressed up as witches at some point, maybe we had our own little halloween. I also possibly had a halloween themed birthday party once as a kid? I remember the little gift bags having spooky things in them and also possibly a bat cake but my memory is too bad to remember for sure. aha that’s the problem here too, no one locally would ever think to buy lollies to give out so it’d just be like um. you can have an apple I guess? at least you had fun though! i respect the commitment to the costume despite the cold. 

that is such a stressful story to read, i fear for your life. although i understand the knife breaking in that first scenario. that would be terrifying though. what if the blender launched it,,, nOPE. i’m very glad it wasn’t your fingers, that’s some horror movie shit. the second time is just,, it be like that sometimes. it was probably just waiting to happen. my parents have a cheese grater with a loose handle and it. falls off. every time. i dry it. with the dishes. and every time i fear for my life as the grating bit drops off towards my feet as i’m left holding the handle. i should expect it by now but i never do. I get scared every time it happens. knives are definitely out to get us, i fully support this conspiracy theory. oh yeah, tiredness doesn’t help with double vision. i kind of need bifocal glasses by now but I also don’t want bifocal glasses so i just suffer but I suspect having them would reduce the double vision. maybe. maybe not.

yup! i remember someone handing out tampons and pads at primary school, i assume after giving a talk about periods, idk. i do also remember a teacher pulling the girls aside and being like yo, this is what a period is, here’s a horror story about my daughter and a tampon, enjoy the trauma, go back to class. good times. we did actually get really comprehensive sex ed concerning most things at my high school but that is faaaarrr from the norm around here, clearly. although teenage boys are good at filling in gaps, in my experience. they’re like little sex encyclopedias that offer up information without you asking. i didn’t ACTUALLY want to know that but i do now, i guess, thanks michael. 

dude. the ‘oh he’s so hot’ comments are so confusing. ‘hot’ is like a category of attractiveness that I’ve never understood. ‘isn’t he hot?’ what does that MEAN rebecca. i think i asked once if it meant like, attractive or good looking. and the person i asked was like, you know, hot. you just look at them and, you know- no i don’t know. what is this. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene with people my age though, generally i just zone out for them sdkfhskdfh. i feel like there’s definitely all these indicators when you look back like oh yeah, should’ve realised i was ace then, but it’s just. such a hard sexuality to figure out. not that other sexualities aren’t but you’ve got to figure out an absence of something when you don’t even know what the something feels like- it’s a challenge.

I’m glad it did! It is interesting, for sure. I’ve always been interested in how winter Christmas’s work. As a young kid I didn’t understand hemispheres...obviously...i was like 5...and i’d go out on Christmas morning to see if there was snow. and sometimes it’d be a bit chilly in the morning and I’d be like damn. we almost had some this year. it’s a shame our climate tends to be too hot for snow on christmas :// like no you tiny dumbass it’s summer you little idiot there will be no snow no matter what. everything ended up going super well here :). boxing day is basically just a shopping holiday, i don’t know if it has any significance in any other way, i’m sure it did at one point, but i know there’s always boxing day sales everywhere. I think it’s also a public holiday (?) to give people another day off work and that, but I could be wrong there. I know I also used to regularly go to the races (horse races) nearby that were always held on boxing day, it was like a 150 year old tradition or something until people in attendance started dropping and I think they finally shut it down a couple years back. I didn’t care all that much about the horses but they also had food and carnival-type rides and such for the kids which is why I loved it. also we tended to meet extended family there for a picnic lunch.

acid reflux is like the least of my problems sdfkjshdkf. it’s annoying but it’s pretty managed with medication, I have to watch certain foods and drinks but I’m used to it by now. I think it’s also what causes me to not be able to eat large amounts normally so I survive a lot on snacks and a reasonable sized dinner. works for me. but peanut butter is good! i’m glad i can have that! I used to also have vegemite but that’s a bit more of a push, it’s easier to stick with peanut butter.

also it’s fine!! my responses are always very long too sdfjhskdf.

[theeeveetamer]

I'm pretty sure my computer would burn and die if I tried to play the Sims 4 but tell me anyway which packs are the best to buy!

Sims 4 is actually easier to run than Sims 3! Especially if you only have a few packs and no mods installed! They designed it for longevity, and it initially came out in 2014. There’s even a laptop mode designed specifically for people with lower end systems.

And, fun fact, you can try it for free! Origin allows a free trial for the Sims 4, so if you’re worried it won’t run or you’re worried you won’t like it you can always download the trial and test it out! That’s actually how I got into the game.

Though I will note before getting started: Some of the newer packs require a 64 bit operating system or a Metal-supported Mac system. Anything released after October 2019 cannot be played on a 32 bit/non-metal system.

Though at the moment that basically just excludes you from the University pack.

Also note! Different people like different stuff out of their Sims game, so if it sounds interesting don’t worry if I don’t rate it highly. I tend to play with a more realistic slant, and for items I tend to like more modern aesthetics when it comes to clothes and items. With that in mind, let’s get to the list! I’ve divided them up by pack type (Expansion, Game, or Stuff).

Expansion Packs:

1) Seasons: Must Have

I will always, always, always shill for the seasons EP of any Sims game. Frankly, I am of the opinion that it should just be base game, but whatever. It adds dynamic weather and, well, seasons which are two things that will affect your game no matter how you choose to play.

Sims 4 is rather unique from previous sim games in that it adds a calendar system and holidays. Not only can you celebrate holidays, you can actually create your own and freely edit or move them around! I’m not kidding, you can get pretty wacky. Like, worshiping garden gnomes and punching each other in the face wacky. Or you can be a loser like me, make every single Three Houses character, and make them all have a lovely Christmas together because they deserve it :x

2) City Living: Good to Have

This one is down to personal taste. I love the city aesthetic, and the apartments are pretty fun to play around with. City Living also adds some interesting festival activities and four unique city districts. Another boon, if this is something you’re interested in, is cultural diversity! Sims 4 has been making a concentrated effort to include more diversity in their games, and a lot of outfits and objects in this pack reflect that!

All of the festivals and events will still occur regardless of if you live in the city or not, so you don’t have to miss out on all of the features even if you don’t choose to use the apartments 100% of the time. Though the bulk of the new game-play really is in the city neighborhood.

3) Discover University: Good to Have (Note: This is one of those 64 bit packs)

I admittedly haven’t played around with this one extensively since it just came out, but I think it’s great fun! I put Sim Sylvain, Sim Felix, Sim Dimitri, and Sim Dedue through college and it was a struggle (in the best of ways). Dorm life, subsisting exclusively on Ramen, and staying up until 2 am working on that term paper that’s due tomorrow... What’s not to love? I’m always a big fan of University packs because, again, I like to play pretty realistically. With mods I managed to get them into a collective $80,000 of college debt and can you tell that I’m an American yet? 

Plus, this one added the teaching, law, and engineering professions to the game and I will never not enjoy making Dimitri a psychology professor for the irony.

University isn’t really necessary to your sims’ lives, but it certainly does help them out along the way. You can choose to ignore it if you want to, but I don’t really see myself doing that when I play, which means this pack will get a lot of use from me personally.

4) Cats and Dogs: Good to Have

If you’re really into the whole rustic aesthetic then this is definitely the pack for you. The town they added is very cute and one of my more well used towns (currently the residence of all of my Blue Lions Sims). If you want your Felix sim to have 6 cats then this is also the pack for you, because you can’t have pets otherwise.

You can also create your own veterinary clinic, which is a feature I’ve barely touched but I’m sure someone will get a kick out of! It’s similar to running a business or owning a restaurant from some similar packs.

God, and you can do some crazy fuckin things to these pets. You can basically cross breed to your heart’s content, so you can get some weird ass combinations. There’s also a paint tool, so you can have dogs with rainbow fur and cats with green paws. Oh and you can have pet foxes and raccoons, but they basically function as dogs and cats respectively.

All in all a fun pack, even if I don’t use all of its content 100% of the time.

5) Get to Work: It’s Alright

Here’s where I start getting a little lukewarm. Get to Work added three active careers (Doctor, Scientist, and Detective) as well as the ability to own and run your own retail store. And these features are fun! ... If you use them.

With the way the Sims 4 is built, having a Sim in an active career and a Sim family with more than one or two sims can be difficult to manage. You can only load one lot at a time, so if you follow your sim to work then you can’t play your sims at home and vice versa, you have to load through every time you switch. There are no “home businesses” either, so your sim either has to live “off lot” and travel (aka you have to sit through a loading screen) tp the retail store every time you do business, or you build a living space on the retail lot and try to wrangle the game into working. This means you have to manually bring your sims “home” to the store every day, and it causes some issues.

Personally, I don’t like being minorly inconvenienced, so after the novelty wore off I barely touched these features again. Most of the CAS and Build/Buy items are career or retail focused too, so I can’t say it has any must have items. I’m putting it at #5 though because I know many people love these features and happily play around the limitations.

6) Get Famous: It’s Alright

I’ll admit, I had a lot of fun with this pack when it first came out! It adds a lot of really cool stuff, like the reputation system, fame, and what is essentially a YouTuber career. There’s also another one of those active careers (actor/actress) if that’s your thing.

Fame also works in a very interesting way in this pack, too. There are “perks” and “quirks”, so your sim can have their own celebrity brand and hordes of followers, but have extremely volatile emotions or a fear of being touched. Kind of an interesting reward/drawback system that hasn’t been present in previous sim games.

Personally though, this pack doesn’t have much longevity to me. Just like Get to Work it was fun for a little while, but I don’t particularly like playing “famous” sims so many of the pack’s features go unused. The town, Del Sol Valley, is pretty underwhelming with only a handful of lots, and kind of a sunny desert-y aesthetic. Which doesn’t pair well if you like the rain and snow from Seasons like I do.

7) Island Living: It’s Alright

This pack is great if you love island-aesthetic items and clothes, tropical islands, and/or mermaids. Personally? I love all three of those things. I’ve been using quite a few of the outfits and objects and roleplaying them as “Duscur themed” for my Dimidue family. I mean, we have no idea what Duscur actually looked like, but the items are distinct enough from most of the typical items in the game that it kind of works?

Anyways, the reason this is so low is because there’s just not much to do in this pack. Mermaids and swimming and that’s basically it. There’s only one new career (conservationist) and three part time careers (diving, fishing, and life-guarding, which I kind of thought were going to be full time careers when I bought the damn thing...)

I’ll talk about this later, but the mermaids are by far the least interesting altered life state/occult in the game. Vampires (and I believe witches) have skill trees of powers and drawbacks, similar to those celebrity perks and quirks I talked about before. Mermaids have nothing like that, so they get boring to play with rather quickly. Watching their tail flop out while they’re in the bath is kinda fun though NGL.

The town is really cool though. I love basically all the pre-built lots and I love the items, but again if you like snow this probably isn’t a world you’re going to be using much. That, and to use many of the new features (like boats and ocean swimming and building houses out over the water) you must be in this world.

8) Get Together: Skippable

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seriously used any of the features from this pack aside from the town. The build/buy is a lot of Tudor style stuff, which I don’t tend to use, and a lot of the clothing is weirdly ugly clubbing clothes.

The clubs are really the big feature of this pack. Similarly to the holidays from Seasons, you can create clubs of sims that will get together and do activities. Basically any action in the game can have a club associated with it (from cleaning to “woohoo”) and you can have club perks that make your club more powerful, and sometimes infamous!

My main issue: If you aren’t actively using this feature it doesn’t really do anything. It just kind of exists as an extra sim panel in the bottom right corner of your screen. And I didn’t use it. Like, at all. That said, I know a lot of people find it very fun! I’m just not sure it’s worth spending $20-$40 of your money on.

Game Packs

I’ll just say right off the bat, I’m not going to talk about Realm of Magic. It adds wizards and wacky magical hijinks, but I bought it at the same time as University and I haven’t gotten around to playing it much yet. I will say, they added a ton of really cool objects and outfits! Especially the rugs. God, the rugs are to die for.

1) Parenthood: Must Have

Two words: Teen Angst. This pack fleshes out a lot of the younger life states. It adds teaching moments, punishments, “character value” traits such as polite or irresponsible, curfews, volunteering, sibling rivalries, mood swings, phases, etc. You want your kid to come home dressed like a bear randomly one day? This is for you.

I admit, I find a lot of the younger life stages in this game boring to play without this pack. I don’t think I could ever go back to vanilla sims after having used it, I find it that essential to my play style. Keep in mind though, this pack will only give you good mileage if you play families with sims of all ages.

2) Dine Out: Good to Have

You can own and operate a restaurant, which functions similarly to the retail stores and vet clinics I mentioned before. However, if you don’t want to own one then you can still plop them down in your town and your sims can travel there for dinners and such.

It’s really good for role playing dates and family nights out and such, but if that’s not your thing and you don’t care about owning one then this is not the pack for you.

3) Vampires: Fun, if You’re Into It

I actually played around with Vampires a lot when the pack first came out, which was honestly just a result of my life circumstance at the time (I was taking a literature course about vampires so I had vamps on the brain).

The vampire skills and vampire banes are pretty fun to mess with, and you can create a lot of pretty unique bloodsuckers. I had a Leo and Takumi sim, and the former was extremely weak to the sun and the latter could walk around in it no problem. Made for some fun role playing.

My two criticisms:

Vampires live forever, which means you’ll eventually get bored of playing the same sims.

Vampires don’t really sleep. They only sleep to recover their vampiric energy, which is only expended through the use of powers. It does not deteriorate naturally, so your vampire could be awake 24/7 for several sim days. Thing is, that just leaves you with too much time to do stuff. They’ll max their skills pretty quickly and then what do you do? Nothing.

Oh, and if you’re in to gothic-style stuff this is a must have for you.

4 & 5) Jungle Adventure and Outdoor Retreat: They’re Alright

I’m putting these in the same slot because they basically serve the same function: Vacations. One involves diving into ruins and hacking your way through jungles, the other is camping, but they’re both basically sim-vacations.

This is another one of those pack types where either you use it or you don’t, and if you don’t it doesn’t really do anything for you. Most of the game packs are like that, actually. Personally, I don’t take my sims on sim vacations very often so I mostly keep these packs around for the items.

Though I will say Outdoor Retreat added a ton of plaid so if that’s your aesthetic then go for it.

6) Spa Day: Skippable

This one basically just allows you to place and build “spa lots” in the world. It added the wellness skill, which ties into the meditation and yoga activities. There’s also saunas and massage tables, but I have rarely if ever placed them in a home lot for personal use.

Another use it or don’t kind of thing. I don’t even have a spa lot placed on my current world, so that just goes to show you how much I use this pack.

Some of the items are cool. Unless you really like those I’d say pass.

7) Strangerville: Honestly It Just Doesn’t Make That Much Sense As a Sims Pack?

Strangerville basically added a story and quest line to the game. I hear it’s pretty fun, but I don’t really play Sims for stories and quests, I play it as a sandbox game. So although I have the pack I’ve never actually played the “story” of it. It’s really not the best Game Pack to get as an entry to the series since it’s such a departure from the typical sims experience.

The town is alright, but again another desert so forget it if you like rain and snow. Unless you really really want the military career or you like the outfits and objects then I wouldn’t personally recommend. Especially for newer players to the series.

Stuff Packs

Honestly there are waaaaaay too many of these for me to rank and I wouldn’t really describe any of them as “must haves”, so instead I’m just going to put down my five favorites. But it’s really up to you to look at the items and decide if it’s worth your $10. Each pack adds a new “game-play” feature, though they’re very small and can be lived without pretty easily.

1) Laundry Day Stuff

This entire pack was actually voted on and “created” by Sims players so that’s a huge plus! More rustic-style items, and the game-play feature here is, obviously, laundry. Since I like playing more realistically, adding another chore was actually worth the money for me lmao. Plus all of the clothes are cute and comfy looking!

The Sims Team also has an amazing sense of humor and named an entire set of the items “Wicker Whims” after the WickedWhims sex mod for the game. Which, honestly? When a dev interacts with players like that it’s always really endearing to me.

2) Movie Hangout Stuff

The aesthetic of this pack is Boho-chic for some reason, so if you like that this pack delivers! The new game-play feature is popcorn and watching movies which can be fun for roleplaying families.

3) Kids Room Stuff

Another one that’s only useful if you play families, but it did add a cute little trading card game for kids. They can collect cards and battle them, similar to Pokemon. Unfortunately, adults can’t play, but I’m sure there’s a mod out there for that somewhere. A lot of the items look really good too, and I use them all semi-frequently. Kids tend to get the short end of the stick when new packs come out, so getting a bunch of hair, outfits, and items for them fills a good niche.

4) Perfect Patio Stuff

Lots of outdoorsy type items, as the name implies. Wicker chairs and outdoor counter tops and the like. This bad boy also brought the return of hot tubs (which probably has the cutest woohoo animation in the game, just saying).

5) Moschino Stuff

The items have a mostly modern, sleek aesthetic, and it adds the freelance photographer career to the game (which is currently what Sim Sylvain is employed as). I basically recommend it on those merits, because the clothes it added are godawful ugly and I’m otherwise not a huge fan of brand-sponsored packs. They’re nothing really new for The Sims, but luxury brands with hideous overpriced clothes aren’t really my thing.

Some Other General Advice for Starting Out

I covered some of this stuff further up but I’ll repeat in case people just skimmed this really long post.

I will warn everyone stay away from “My First Pet Stuff”! You are basically required to own Cats and Dogs to make use of a good chunk of its items, so you might just be wasting your money.

You can get a trial of the game for free if you just want to test it out to see if you’ll like it or if your computer will run it.

Never buy a pack at full price. I’m not kidding when I say they have sales for this game every couple of months. Even if there isn’t a sale there is a bundle option, which is significantly cheaper than buying individual packs! Discover University was $40 at full price. I purchased a bundle with Discover University, Realm of Magic, and Moschino Stuff for $50. Had I bought them separately it would have ran me $70.

In fact sometimes they give the base game out for free! I know they did a promotion like this this past summer. Sims really makes their money from Expansion Packs, so one of their marketing strategies is to give the base game out for free to entice you to play. Even if it’s not free, it’s always steeply discounted during sales. I believe you can get it for $6 right now. I have 1000+ hours in this game, so six dollars is pretty cheap for that much entertainment.

You can see every single item and outfit in a pack before you buy it. So if you’re not sure if it’s for you, just look! The items are listed right there on the Origin store page.

Mods are amazing. Custom content is amazing. If anyone is curious I can create a list of the mods I use/Custom Content I use for my various Fire Emblem sims.

[momo-de-avis]

So I read your big personal post and I'm furious. It makes me see red that adults can watch children be treated like ants and feel ok to ignore it. I wanna say I'm truly sorry that you had to go through all of that, and I hope you can grow free-er and free-er from it in the future 💕 A question, though: how can you still keep in touch with them? I'm trying my hardest to leave home and run away from these demons or else I'll never be happy, how and why do you do it? If you wanna answer, of course

Thank anon, your words mean a lot to me and rest assured I may not have the strength every single day to do it, but at least I’m conscious about my effort and just... keep going the best I can. And I do believe one day I’ll manage to look back and say ‘boy, did I grow up’. There are days when I do already and it feels revigorating, to say the least.

And I don’t mind at all answering. I share these things about my life because where I stand I have at least learned a few things (I do have my therapist to thank for that) and by sharing that it might help others.

There’s a lesson I learned with her that became super important in balancing out who I am and who I am with my family. It has to do with that feeling of guilt that comes with the whole experience. Because one thing I did hear a lot was how ungrateful I was, a kid who didn’t care about her family, who wasn’t there for them, etc etc. And because my experience as a kid within the foundation of family can be translated with ‘left to my own, trying to find my own way of surviving and growing’ what that resulted in was forcing me to try and change others.

Which is a lost battle. And that’s what I had to learn the hard way.

To quote my therapist: it’s a dangerous thing to believe you can change others, but it’s important to learn that you can change the environment around you by changing your attitude.

A few weeks back, I was talking about Christmas with her, because she knows Christmas is that time of the year when crippling depression strikes like a goddamn lover, although it’s been getting better with every year. Mostly because ever since I started spending Christmas with my bf’s family (who are the prime example of just... how a family should be, so much it fucking threw me off my balance the first time I met them like---holy shit this is a real fucking family), I finally got the perspective of the two opposites. And I was telling my therapist that there was one thing I learned, given my current situation, that made christmas with my family a lot more bearable.

I can just... leave. Like, if they piss me off, I can just get up and say goodnight and off I go. This isn’t something most people can do, because they’re not given that liberty. But what was new here was that I actually allowed myself to say and believe that. Because my whole life I was dragged back and forth between family shit where I guilt-tripped into taking part of these celebrations and it ruined the experience for me, and it forced me to withstand all of it against my will. So to tell myself ‘you don’t have to put up with this shit, actually, you can just leave’ was a turning point for me.

And this came out of a VERY long process of accepting who those people are. I remember the appointment I had right after Christmas, I told her: I remember sitting at the table with my family and thinking: wow.. I genuinely don’t like these people. I don’t see myself in them at all, and they have nothing to do with me, and I want nothing but distance and the bare minimum of contact. I just don’t fit in.

To learn about who you are in this scenario, you have to learn about who the people around you are. You have to accept that trying to change them will only lead you to more frustration. The best you can do is learn to adapt enough that it doesn’t corrupt you but it doesn’t expose you to danger (it’s basically why there’s an encouragement to let LGBTQ people remain closeted if they choose to out of self-perseverance, even if they have already come out to their friends---because you act a different way with your family, and sometimes that means survival). Now, granted, that’s a hell of a learning process---at best, a trial and error kind. But it’s one of the ways to preserve yourself.

I really had to accept that these people, the way they are, is more than something that is susceptible to change. There’s a whole ritual to the way they exist. My mom is stuck in the past, and she projects that onto both of us---she treats my brother like he’s still a 14 year old in private school, and me like I’m still a teenager, to the point where she refuses to memorize the things that changed about us past that age, like how she doesn’t understand how I don’t like that band I used to listen to at 15. My brother comes up with fucked up rituals that were never there, but exist to paint a picture of ‘how-it-should-be’, of good manners and eloquence, to the point where he literally comes up with memories that never existed (he still believes that we used to eat Fatias Douradas on Christmas, when the entire family has reiterated that my grandmother never even cooked them---and that's is why every single Christmas he buys them, only to throw them in the garbage because no one ate them). That puts me in the position of the old portuguese saying: in the land of the blind, the one who sees is a king. And the moment it snapped in my mind that these people were living a fantasy to cover up for the atrocities they committed against each other, for the fucked up things they’re stuffing in the back of their minds in pure denial, I sort of became at peace with that. Because it gave me more confidence in myself.

When I told my therapist recently about how witnessing my nephew’s behaviour was like watching a script I had written, because I predicted every single thing about it, she asked me why did that matter to me. And I told her ‘because I was validated by none other than myself. It means I understand their dynamic, it means I know now how they work a little better. And I know now there is very little I can do, so I chose to step aside.’

So, to answer your question, in all honesty, there are a series of external factors that came into play. Without them, I certainly wouldn’t have made it as well as I did. The fact that I was so quickly and easily embraced by my bf’s family was a breath of fresh air, and it was the one thing I never got as a kid and what I am so thankful for. It gave me perspective and it’s still teaching me a sense of belonging. That sort of puts my mind to ease, so that when I face my family, I’m more relaxed because I understand my place a lot better, and I understand that the place they want me to fulfil isn’t normal, not for me and I don’t have to fulfil it if I don’t want to.

The fact that I can just get up and leave whenever I want helps a lot. I have accepted that my family is like a retail job. I can only stand that shit for no longer than 8 hours a day, and 8h to me is too damn much. I would say 5h. When I’m with them, it’s never for any longer than that because otherwise I’ll go crazy.

And then there’s bit... In all honesty, I see my mom a lot more than I see my brother (I must see him like, some 5 times a year), and I can tolerate and accept her presence a lot more. I guess I do have the ability to forgive, and that’s what allows me to move forward, because the fact remains that, when you grew up with an alienated mother and no maternal figure to rely on, and as a grown woman you finally see those attitudes your kiddie self wanted so much, you sort of succumb to it. You embrace it because you’ve craved it for so long, even if your inner goblin is screaming ‘IT’S TOO LATE NOW’. Most of the times, my mind is at conflict, thinking: this isn’t right, she doesn’t deserve this. But a part of me just really wants to move past that, forgive and accept that she has her own fucked up way of changing and showing support. There have been moments even when I thought ‘she acknowledged her faults, even if she will never say them allowed or ask for forgiveness’ and that sort of eased me (although I’m a leo... I forgive, but damn I don’t forget).

I think the main ingredient here is that I always felt left out and shunned by my family. But now, I feel like I’m the one leaving them out and shunning them. They don’t know what’s going on with my life, and although they don’t really ask, you can tell at times they try to pry. And I don’t tell them shit.

It’s funny, last session I told my therapist the one thing I would never share with my family was my writing because they never acknowledged it the way I needed it to be acknowledged, and that ruins the experience of writing for me. And that’s a bit how I balance tolerating them while being me. The things that are important to me, they’re locked away and they’re not touching them. All they get to live with is a cut-out version of myself that they think is the person they know, but someone completely different. I let them believe their own conceptions of myself while preserving my own achievements and the things I treasure to myself. 

It’s basically creating the persona they believe I am when I’m with them versus the person I really am everywhere else (trust me when I tell you they get completely baffled when they hear my friends say the most basic shit about myself---like how my mom got dumbfounded when she learned through my godmother that I actually did know a lot of drug addicts and dealers but stood away from using while not being the sort of person my brother is and dehumanize them. She really couldn’t conceive that I was that person because all her life she believed everything I did was because someone else did it and I followed. She is so keen on refusing to accept I do things out of my own free will she’s thrown off her balance when she learns that like, the pink hair thing in 2006 was actually sort of a trend setted in my school lmfao)

(oh shit this got WAY TOO LONG)

[stevesharrlngtons]

103 "you are beautiful and I'm not the o my one who thinks that. " Steve or Billy. Thank you.

you are beautiful and I’m not the only one who thinks that

i listened to this exclusively while writing this

sitting on the porch of cece holt’s house, you fought back tears. you had no idea he would be here, especially with her. if you had, you would have swerved billy’s car in the other direction and promised him anything he wanted, just as long as you stayed far away from the house party.

but you hadn’t. you hadn’t known steve would be there, arm around a smiling nancy wheeler while they laughed with friends. while you were holding a warm beer watching your boyfriend do keg stand after keg stand and cackling at mean jokes with his lackies.

you and steve had broken up almost a year ago, but somehow the wound was just as fresh as when you both had decided to part that night on his front lawn. every time you saw him your heart felt like someone twisting a knife in it. it never got easier. you were young, but you really had seen yourself being with him for many years. he was sweet to you, listened to you and made you feel more loved than you ever thought possible. he felt like your other half.

but part of you was starting to think maybe people weren’t supposed to be together forever, no matter how much you love each other. because towards the end, fights were picked on the daily and the passion was blown out like a common candle. you both stopped trying, and it wasn’t until a christmas party that his parents had thrown for all their swanky friends that everything imploded. steve had spilled a glass of wine on your brand new dress and the fight had been instant. you both went outside to scream at each other, until the cold december air shifted in a way that you both felt. you both quieted and looked at each other, knowing without even having to say it that the sixteen months you had been together were over.

the heartache wasn’t worth it anymore.

as time passed, you expected it to get easier, but it never did. seeing him smile always cut you deep, and when you would make eye contact you felt your throat constrict.

when you found out he had taken up with nancy wheeler, you had shrugged publicly. telling your friends you were fine, that chapter of your life was over. but that night you screamed and sobbed into your pillow, cursing steve’s name and wishing to never see him again. but living in a small town and going to the same high school gave you no reprieve. it wasn’t until billy hargrove waltzed into town that your mind was taken off steve. billy wasn’t a grand love or someone you saw being with forever, but he was fun and sexy. he made you feel alive for the first time in ages.  

“hey…” his voice said from behind you and you shut your eyes, small tears slipping over your lashes and own your cheeks as you did so.

they were quickly wiped away.

“hi.” you said, turning around and looking up at steve.

his face was sad, his eyebrows furrowed as he gnawed on the inside of his cheek.

“i saw you slip out and you, uh, you looked upset. i just wanted to make sure you were okay?” he asked.

you put on a full smile, one that barely hid your glassy eyes, “nope, i’m fine. see?”

steve chuckled, “you were always a bad liar.”

he took a step down and sat next to you. you wanted to scoot away, but the warmth from his skin radiating to yours felt too good to move.

“yeah, i guess some things never change.” you laughed with everything but humor.

“but, really, are you okay?” steve asked, turning to you.

“no,” you shook your head, giving a similar laugh, “not at all. seeing with her never gets easier.”

steve flinched at your words, “i’m sorry.”

“don’t be. we aren’t together anymore, we are both free to do what we want.” you shrugged, your tone matter of fact.

“that’s still weird for me sometimes… like disequilibrium.” steve commented.

“what?”

“we aren’t together anymore. me and you… it just being over.” he shook his head sadly, then looked down at his shoelaces.

“we were not good for each other. we weren’t meant to be.” you said softly.

“do you think if we keep telling ourselves that, we’ll start to believe it?” steve breathe out a laugh.

“hope so.” you turned to look at him and steve did the same.

his eyes told a story that you had been craving for months, that he still loved you that he still wanted you. his hands were twitching on his knees, clearly wanting to reach out for you, it had been too long since he’d touch you.  

but you turned away. like you said, you weren’t good together. sometimes love wasn’t enough to keep the boat afloat.

“how’s nancy?” you changed the subject.

steve felt his heart drop when you did so, but went along with it, “she’s fine. she’s good.”

“good.”

“how’s billy?” steve asked out of courtesy, not because he wanted to know.

“he’s great. fun, exciting, just… yeah he’s good.” you nodded as you looked forward.

“damn, i was trying to keep those kind of guys away.” he chuckled.

“excuse me?” you said, not angrily, just curious.

“after we broke up, i must have had half the male student body at my locker begging for my blessing to ask you out. i shot every single one down. but y’know, billy isn’t one to ask permission.”

a small smile grew unbeknownst to you and your cheeks glazed over pink, “you’re lying.”

“you’re beautiful, (y/n/n), and i’m not the only one who thinks that.” steve said, glancing over to you again.

your blush intensified as you set your cheek on your palm and turned to him, “thank you.”

“you know i’ve always thought you were gorgeous, no need to thank me.” steve said, eyes looking between yours and your lips.

man did he miss your lips pressed softly against his. in the morning short sweet peaks, and at night long clashing kisses full of passion and everything he could ever want.

“yeah, but i didn’t know you still did.” you said quietly, pursing your lips.

“how could i not?” he breathed out.

you met his gaze.

how had you been so close to him this whole time? especially with his sweet words and longing gazes? this was too much. you needed him, but it was all look and no touch.

“thanks for cheering me up, you always had a knack for that.” you said, your tears resurfacing.

“of course, anytime.” steve said, begging you to move closer to him with his eyes.

you sat in silence for a quick beat, you holding back tears as you sniffled and steve trying to work up the courage to confess things he had only let him think before he went to sleep.

“are you really okay with it? going back to trying to convince ourselves that we aren’t meant to be? pretending?” steve finally said through a pained voice.

“i have too.” you said, your throat burning with tears.

steve sucked his teeth loudly and nodded, his own tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

soon, billy’s loud voice rounded the corner from the backyard, his body not far behind.

“baby!” he slurred loudly when he saw you on the porch, “i’ve been lookin’ all over for ya!”

“here i am.” you smiled, pushing yourself up without a second glance to steve who glared daggers at billy.

but he was too drunk to notice, hell, billy was too drunk to even notice steve was next to you.

“let’s get the fuck outta here! this party’s dead.” billy said, throwing his beer bottle into the bushes.

“okay,” you nodded, walking to him so he could sling his arm over you shoulder and pepper your neck with sloppy kisses, “let’s go.”

“god, you smell good.” he said as you led him to his car, fishing the keys from his coat pocket and depositing him in the passenger’s seat.

you walked around to the drivers side, taking a deep breath to shoo away any remaining tears or bottled up feelings. but before you got in, you glanced back to the house, to see steve standing where you once both sat, his hands in his pockets and tears on his cheeks.

but all you did was stare. you made no effort to run to him or mouth an i love you. you stared at him with sad eyes, before getting into billy’s car and driving away, not looking back.

[wroteasongabouther]

I'm definitely gonna need a morning after with that best friend post

bestfriend!harry part 2 please???

Bestfriend!harry is the best consept in the whole world, I love you for writing it and PLEASE post more asap! Literally the best thing I’ve read in ages

That bestfriend!harry was amazing! Will there be a part 2?

You and your best friend did that? HOLY SHIT that’s hot af WRITE A SECOND PART PLEASEEEE

pleaseee do part 2 bestfriend!harry

I would DEFINITELY like to read a pt two of the best friend Harry one is you want to write one !!!!

Could I request a pt 2 to the bestfriend!harry??

YUP SO AFTER ALL THESE REQUESTS I DECIDED TO GET ON THIS AND WRITE A PART TWO

AND YET AGAIN I WENT OFF OOPS

HERE’S PART ONE

“Holy fuck I have the worst headache,”

“Drank too much?”

“Shut up Niall this is your bloody fault and that disgusting flavoured vodka,”

“Didn’t think it was disgusting last night,”

Harry glares at the blonde haired boy while he opens the cupboard beside your fridge and grabs a single serve Keurig cup and pops it into the Keurig. Before he starts it up he grabs a mug, funny enough it’s the one he had bought you for a house warming gift. Printed on the plain white mug was a photo of him in his stupid Miley Cyrus costume, which was oh so flattering. You have a good laugh from it whenever it gets used though.

Remy and Niall start arguing about something in the living room - which was open to the kitchen - as you open the fridge and fill up your glass with more filtered water. As you’re drinking half the glass, the fridge still open and water jug still in hand, you caught Harry’s side glance at you. Your body feels like it’s burning and your head feels like it’s about to explode. Half of this could’ve been prevented if you just stopped what had happened last night. But you knew you wanted it. Question was if Harry wanted it or not.

You fill up your glass again, eyes focused on what your doing, then close the fridge. “Feeling alright?” You ask Harry as he rubs both his eyes.

“Might throw up,” he states.

“Gross,” you chuckle and walk out of the kitchen.

You weren’t going to be the one to bring up last night. Maybe he just didn’t remember, you could live with that right? Pretend that you had blacked out as well and go about your life as normal. Send Harry stupid memes and have him over alone to binge watch The 100 or make ridiculous jokes and sing along to music in his car. Things didn’t have to change because you two got a little too drunk and handsy.

“Rems, are you still gunna hang out today?” You ask while taking a seat on the couch beside Niall. Remy sat on the carpeted floor with a blanket draped over her legs.

“Yeah,” she shrugs, “my roommate had been seriously annoying lately and I like you better anyways,”

“You better,” you stick out your tongue.

“I should probably get goin’, gotta let the dogs out or me mum will freak,” Niall says while standing from the couch.

“How long are you house sitting for again?” Remy asks.

“A week,” he replied while gathering his things. The two of you nod and say goodbye. “Tell Harry goodbye for me,” he says, causing you to look around for Harry. He must’ve felt real sick, probably hugging the toilet for dear life and cursing Niall for giving him more shots after the club.

You had woken up an hour ago, Harry’s body no longer touching yours in any way. Immediately imagines of last night flooded your brain as you heard the light snores from beside you. A stinging feeling was felt in your chest as you overthought everything. Harry didn’t like you, he never did and never would. Last night he got too drunk and blacked out while his horny side took over and got you off. That was that, and now you had to live with it and ignore the hurt inside.

“Jesus, took you long enough,” Remy grumbles while getting off the floor, “first Y/N’s bed and now the loo, what’s next ya gonna steal my car to drive home too?”

“Sod off,” Harry mumbles as you watch Remy walk passed him towards the washroom. Your eyes follow Harry as he walks into the kitchen and grabs his mug full of coffee.

“Feeling any better?” You ask as he takes a seat next to you and sets his mug on the coffee table. You have to curl your legs up as he sits down, but Harry is quick to do as he usually does and grabs your ankles to let you rest your legs in his lap. It’s not out of the norm, yet after last night it felt awkward.

“Not really,” he admits, “Niall leave already?”

You nod your head, “had to let his mums dogs out,”

“Fuckin’ twat didn’t look a bit hungover,” Harry grumbles as he reaches for his coffee, taking a sip before setting it back down. His hands casually rest on your calves and your body sets fire again from his touch.

“Did you sleep alright?” you ask to fill the awkward silence between you two.

Harry nods, “did you?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you mumble and look away from Harry as his eyes are on you.

“Good, thanks for letting me crash in your bed,”

“No problem,” you clear your throat and meet his gaze. He had to of remembered, this can’t just be eating you alive. “But next time maybe let Remy sleep in the bed, cause if I have to hear her complain about sleeping on the floor again I’m going to go crazy,”

Harry chuckles and nods, “for sure,” he says.

“I am freaking starving,” Remy shouts while entering the living room again. You sit up striaght, taking your legs off Harry and watch Remy. “Let’s get some McDonalds and then sit and watch shit tv all day,”

“Works for me,” you say while standing up and stretching, “you gunna come along, H?”

“No, I should get home,” he states and gets up slowly from the couch. He reaches for his coffee mug and finishes it before walking into the kitchen and putting the mug into the dishwasher.

You and Remy get ready by the door and as soon as Harry joins you feel tense again. He’s not watching you more carefully than any time before, he’s not making an effort to touch you, he’s just slipping into his boots and jacket before holding open the door for you. Both Remy and Harry wait for you to lock the door then you all make your way downstairs.

“Are you even gunna make it home?” Remy asks Harry, who had to stop once outside to potentially throw up some more.

“Yeah,” Harry swallows and shakes his head, “fuck Niall, that fuck,” he mutters.

You chuckle and bump into him, “maybe I should’ve stayed up, seeing as I’ve got a bigger dick than you,” you tease. It was an inside joke. Harry sniffled during sad films and he complained more than you did. Therefore, your metaphoric dick was bigger than his.

Remy had kept walking towards your car while Harry stood up straight again and took one large step towards you. He was so close, and your breath gets caught in your throat. Flashbacks from last night flood in as you see Harry lips turn up into a smirk.

“Don’t recall you having a dick last night,” Harry says in a low voice.

Your eyes widen in shock from his words as he steps past you. He remembered. He remembered and he wasn’t going to do or say anything else about it either? You shake your head and turn around, seeing Harry step up to his car that’s parked beside yours. This was really happening. You and your best friend casually fooled around last night and were brushing it off casually too. You could do this. Taking a deep breath, you get into your car and start it up as Harry pulls away.

“What’s up with you two?” Remy asks as you drive down the street.

“Nothing,” you say with a shrug.

It was nothing. A one time drunken mistake, right? That’s the page you and Harry were on, right? Fuck this.

Hey you busy tonight?

nope just was gunna stay in tonight actually

Oh, well wanna start re-watching The 100? The new season starts next month

yeah sure! come over whenever

K, probably will be sometime after 7, just at work. There’s so many punks trying to play the guitars today it’s annoying.

show them who’s boss lol

…

pick up some liquor i wanna make it a drinking game lol

I’m down! You need something too?

nope im good thanks tho

…

Come open your door

Hello?

Y/N!!!!!!!!!!!

shut up i’m coming!!!!

“Were you in the shower?” Harry asks as you answer the door with a towel in hand while drying the ends of your hair.

“Bath, actually,” you correct him. Harry closes the door behind him and you want to the couch.

“Nice,” Harry nods and walks into the kitchen. “You use one of those bath bomb things I got you for Christmas?”

“Yup, it was blue and pretty,” you smile.

“Want a mixed drink or the cooler drinks you’ve got in the fridge?”

“Cooler please,”

Harry moves around in the kitchen and you click through your smart TV to get to Netflix to start up The 100. As Harry takes a seat on the couch with you, he passes you your drink before leaning back and relaxing into the cushion he claimed as his own over the years. He once went off about how it had shaped to his bottom one drunk night - arguing with you and Niall, of course Niall was more into the discussion.

Things felt normal. Not like he had fingered your last weekend and now you hadn’t talked about it since. You made up a few starter rules for drinks, ending up chugging half pretty early. By the second episode you were resting your legs in Harry’s lap and finishing your second drink.

“Bellamy is kinda a dick in this season,” Harry states before finishing off his drink too.

“Want another?” you ask while standing up from the couch.

“Yeah, thanks,” he smiles and hands you his glass.

It was the liquor getting to you, as you pour Harry’s drink a bit too strong accidentally, you were day dreaming about dirty dirty things. Screw drunk Harry last weekend touching you like that. Now with a simple look you got even more turned on than before. Before it was a crush sorta feeling, but like you’d always love him and want him. Now you had a little taste and wanted the whole damn cake. You crack open your drink and have a long sip.

How could you do this? Friends with benefits, that is the best angle right? You ponder these things while taking your seat again and give Harry’s his glass. He grabs your ankles and brings your legs up into his lap again - a giggle escapes your lips from his action. While the show plays, you have trouble paying attention. Harry’s gently rubbing your ankles and up your calves.

“So,” Harry draws out the word, causing your head to spin as you look towards him, “are we not talking about last weekend then?” he asks.

“Uh,” you’re so thrown off, “I mean, we can, yeah, sure,”

“You didn’t like it?”

“Uh,” this was really happening, you suck in a deep breath and have a sip of your drink, “I mean, yeah I liked it,”

Harry chuckles and lets his finger tips tickle across your skin, “yeah, stupid question I guess,” he seems nervous.

“Was it a mistake?” you question, the most burning one of all.

“I don’t think so,” he shrugs and keeps brushing his fingers along your skin, “it was kinda nice,” Harry admits.

“Yeah,” you breathe out.

Harry looks up and meets your eyes now. You take this moment to have another sip of your drink. You definitely needed the liquor to get through this conversation. You catch Harry let out a low chuckle before he moves your legs from his lap. Thinking he’s getting up, you sit up some more and move out of his way - only suddenly Harry’s holding himself over top of you, his face is so close you can feel his breath.

“How nice?” Harry smirks, “do it again, kinda nice? Did you want me to get you off again, pet?”

Your eyes flutter closed and then back open again as your stomach twists and turns. “If I’m correct,” you pause and take a few seconds to look into Harry’s eyes, “I owe you one,”

Harry states down at you for a moment, as if he’s trying to figure you out. Then he smirks and moves away from you completely, sitting back in his seat and finishing off his drink. You watch him, confused by what was happening - had you said something wrong?

“As you wish then, pet,” Harry’s voice is rough but then he clears it and motions for to his pants. Your eyes fall to his crotch, and yup there’s a growing bulge against his jeans.

You lick your lips, sitting up and getting off the couch slowly. Nerves come over you as you end up between Harry’s legs. As the show continues on in the background and Harry leans back while his hooded eyes are on you, it’s obvious this night took a turn. You’d blame the alcohol. Finally you suck it up and pull out whatever sort of sex machine was inside of you and reach of the button of Harry’s jeans.

You don’t think, instead you just imagine how good this will be. Pulling down the zipper slowly, you can feel his hard cock. Swallowing hard, you push down the material and let out his pulsating cock. Without looking up you know just how much harry is controlling himself by the throaty sound that comes from him as you run your thumb over the tip of him. So many things are running through you head. But you let them fade away as you lean forward and lick all the way up his shaft before closing your lips around the top of him. You let go on him and look up to see Harry watching you, the list in his dark eyes was obvious.

“Ready for me already, huh?” You question, letting the thickness in your voice stay in hopes it sounds more sexy. Harry let’s out a groan as you flicker your tongue over his tip.

“Don’t be a tease, pet,” he grumbles.

“Not being a tease, am I?” You say jokingly, using an innocent voice while peering up at him again.

“Oh baby,” he struggles as you blow out dramatically through your mouth, only an inch from his tip. “Just put those pretty fuckin’ lips around my cock, pet,” he groans and without another second to staple you close your lips around him. Bobbing up and down on his cock, you hear him groan again and again.

You should’ve known he’d have a long thick cock, especially after last weekend with it pressed up against your bum all night. But it’s surprising as you’re sucking him off, gagging every few motions as you try to force as much of him into your mouth. You like it though. The feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat. It’s a slutty feeling, but it’s one you’re dreamt of before. Harry whimpers and moans as you keep moving, occasionally popping his cock out of your mouth and working fast with your hand only to have it back in your mouth again.

“Fuck, let’s it, take it all,” Harry let’s out a long loud groan as you push his entire length into your mouth and stop at the base. Your eyes are watering and then you let go as you feel as though you’re about to gag.

There’s no wasting a second as you feel Harry’s hips buckle. He’s close, liking what you’re doing to him as much as you like what he had done to you. You bob up and down near the tip of his cock, lapping your tongue over the tip every few seconds. Harry moans some more and you feel his hand on your head, fingers threading into your hair.

“You like it don’t you, being on your knees in front of me, huh? Like my big cock in yeh mouth, pet?” Harry says through clenched teeth. You peer up at him through your lashes, popping him out of you mouth but working his shaft with your hand as a smile curls upon your lips.

“You like my lips around your big cock, don’t you?” You tease back. Harry cursed under his breath as you quickly suck him off instead of waiting for a response.

You work faster as you feel his throbbing in your mouth. He’s about to burst, you just know it. The hand he had in your hair tightening, guiding you down into his cock as he throws his head back and groans loudly again. His cock twitches in your mouth, any second now and he’s be filling up your mouth. You feel it hit the back of your throat suddenly, the hot salty taste causes you to sit back and stick out your tongue as he comes. It all goes into your mouth, grunts and groans with each spew. After a moment you wrap your lips around his cock, causing another string of moans, before letting his cock free and swallowing.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Harry mumbles with an arm over his eyes and his other hand on his stomach as his chest heaves. You smile, turning around to grab your can to wash away his come.

“Now,” you pause while taking you seat on the couch again, “we’re even,” you smile.

Harry let’s out a chuckle while situating himself back into his pants again. You catch him shaking his head as you focus on the tv across from you. There’s no more words, you know you’d sucked the damn life out of Harry as he stays leaning back in the couch with his legs apart. You can’t wipe the smile from your face as his hand rests on your thigh and you two continue to watch the show and play your drinking game.

“Ha! Murphy threatened someone, drink,” you say before lifting your can to your lips. Harry drinks and pats your leg, pointing at the fact Clarke was giving some shit speech to “the people”, meaning another drink for you both.

Any more of this and you’d be passing out soon from the amount of liquor you’ve had.