#I've already forgotten half of what I typed here

[azrielwingspan]

A 'TEA' PARTY (AZRIEL X READER)

Summary : The prince of Montesere was a heartthrob with his exceptionally good looks and charismatic words. You were raving about him to the girls but Azriel was having none of it.

Warnings : Nooone

A/N: You guys have no idea how EXCITED I was to write this. This is definitely one of my favourites. Enjoy !

"And he said 'I'll make time for you. Always.' I DIED. LITERALLY DEAD DIED." You said waving your hands animatedly.

The girls oohed and aahed while clutching their drinks. Feyre pretended to swoon, Mor was holding a hand to her heart and Elain went starry eyed. Nesta remained stoic but you could see the hint of a smile gathering at the corner of her lips. You would bet a 100 marks that it was straight out of one of her romance books.

"What's going on ?" heads whipped to the door where Gwyn and Emerie stood holding more snacks.

"Just in time! Get over here. You guys are missing out on top secret information." Mor helped them out with the snacks, sharing a shy look with Emerie.

"The Prince of Montesere is what is going on." Nesta said, a sly smirk on her face.

"Ooo..I've heard he's quite the charmer." Gwyn piped in and everyone nodded their heads enthusiastically.

"We think he has a crush on Y/N." Elaine said making a stupid grin crawl onto your face.

"What the fuck? Details PLEASE." Emerie grabbed the bowl of popcorn placing it on her lap to share with Mor.

A rush of joy consumed you as you looked around the room. All the girls were finally taking some well deserved time off and you were glad that you could spend it with each other.

"Okay." leaning forward as you channeled your inner storyteller. "Sooo...let me just start off by saying he looks DIVINE. Dark hair, dark eyes and don't even get me started on his voice...UGH. I think my ovaries might have exploded."

"Wait hold on." Feyre carried a confused look on her face. "Are we talking about the Prince or our shadowsinger?"

Silence engulfed the room.

Someone snorted and the entire room descended into laughter. Your face heated up. From embarrassment or from laughing you weren't sure of.

"She definitely has a type alright." Nesta said setting off a new round of laughter.

"OKAY LISTEN IN MY DEFENSE---" you shouted over the chaos.

"Don't even try." Mor was clutching her stomach, slightly wincing at the pain.

"OKAY SHUSH. Y/N CONTINUE !" Gwyn came to the rescue and you shot her a grateful smile.

"Anyways as I was saying.." you shot a pointed look at the girls daring them to say something. All of them had shit eating grins on their face.

Emerie and Mor had already finished half the popcorn.

"He showed me around the city and took me to all his favorite spots. It was very---"

"Did you make out?" Emerie interrupted and the girls leaned forward their eyes twinkling in anticipation.

You were about to respond but your face had already betrayed you , turning a scarlet red. Elaine and Mor squealed , almost falling off their seats. Feyre had a wide eyed expression on her face, her drink long forgotten.

"You should have STARTED with that, you idiot !" Emerie shouted, an incredulous look on her face.

"OKAY SHUSH. The most important question. How was it?" Gwyn made everyone settle down again as she awaited your answer.

You'd just opened your mouth to respond when Nesta asked "How big?"

Spluttering in shock, you smacked Nesta's arm. "I didn't sleep with him!" You hissed in a whisper. "We just made out. He is a really good kisser. I'll give him that."

"Tell me what this male is bad at. Why aren't you with him already?" Elain asked taking a sip of her tea.

"Honestly, he's too good to be true but.."

"He isn't a certain someone." Feyre finished for you, eyes softening in understanding. You'd never told the girls about your infatuation with Azriel but they knew. Somehow, they just knew.

You didn't bother denying it and just shrugged nonchalantly. A wave of understanding passed through the room. Almost everyone had been in a similar position before. Sometimes your soul craved another's so violently, it made you blind to anyone else.

"Well..it was fun while it lasted." you said breaking the silence.

"For two days." Emerie laughed softly.

"You should tell Az---" Mor was interrupted by the opening of the door. Seven pairs of eyes focused on Azriel as he stood at the door , looking sheepish.

"Look who's hereeee." Feyre said playfully, a blush rising on Azriels cheeks as he bowed his head.

"Rhys wanted me to grab a book." he muttered softly, edging towards the wall and trying to ignore the six pairs of eyes with a mischievous twinkle in their eyes.

You were just utterly mortified. Did he hear everything?

I put up a sound barrier. Wouldn't want the Illyrian babies snooping around. Feyre's voice echoed in your mind.

You shot her a grateful smile which immediately fell as she shot you a wink. Oh no. She was upto something.

"Az, tell Rhys I'll be there as soon as Y/N finishes telling us about her Prince."

Both you and Azriel stiffened, his back still facing you. Emerie dissolved into a fit of laughter that she was trying to hide behind her palm. Nesta's eyes twinkled at the prospect of messing with Azriel.

"I can't believe you're going to be a princess, Y/N !" Elain played along. You swiped a hand across your throat repeatedly, indicating at them to cut it off.

"He basically professed his love to you already. I don't know what you're waiting for." Nesta said looking like she was ready to plan the imaginary wedding if she had to.

Azriels shadows were growing a little agitated, rapidly bouncing off bookshelves trying to find the damned book.

"If he had wings, I'm sure he would have the biggest---" Mor cut off , finishing her sentence by widening her eyes and looking down.

Emerie choked on her tea, making it go up her nose. Mor rapidly hit her on the back trying to help and stop laughing at the same time. In her urgency to move, she'd knocked over the tea pot spilling hot tea over Gwyn's leggings.

Gwyn stumbled out of her seat fanning her hands at her legs like it would help. Elain grabbed the jug of water and threw it on Gwyn's leggings soaking the carpet beneath her. Feyre who had been about to fill a glass with water for Emerie stared at her empty hand where the jug had been.

Nesta watched the entire scene unfold before her eyes with mild interest , sipping on her tea.

You just stared, absolutely and completely horrified by the turn of events.

A tendril of shadow made its way over to you and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen in front of your eyes behind your ear. You shivered from the sudden coolness and turned your head towards Azriel.

Wearing a cool mask of indifference, he walked out of the room pretending like nothing ever happened.

A/N: AHHHH, this entire thing made me feel some type of way.

Please take a min to leave a comment and let me know if you liked it as much as I did !!

[findafight]

STOBIN AS DRIFT COMPATIBLE BESTIES FIGHTING KAIJU!!!

OKAY OKAY BUT. post canon au where the Breach opens in the early nineties instead of 2013, and eventually when the Jaeger Program is just in the fledgling stages, right at the start when they figure out the drift and sharing the load, some American government goon looks at another, and they're both thinking the same thing. They know a couple chucklefucks who are scarily in tune with each other that already have monster fighting experience. The problem is of course the chucklefuckery and also they. Hate the government.

But they figure yknow. May as well try to get the actually very good at killing monsters the military can't clowns. They need people willing to go into deathtraps and fight giant monsters, and those two have done that a few times before. They need people that can connect to each other while also fighting without dying, and figure those two are a prime example. So after a lot of government groveling and Robin and Steve slamming the door in multiple suits' faces, they eventually agree to at least...see what it's all about. Because they heard about the attack in San Francisco on K-day, about Manila and Cabo San Lucas and Syndney, and it was all bad, and as much as they dislike and distrust the government and military...they do want to help (and the pay is...good). It was probably only a matter of time before their luck in avoiding monsters ran out anyway. At least this way they had some control of how.

So Steve and Robin are in the Jaeger Academy almost as soon as it opens. It's...an adjustment. They're obviously not the regular type to join, mostly its a bunch of men who were maybe ex military or something, and they stick out. Training is a pain in the ass, they've spent the years between the upside down closing lounging and working and starting to relax, and so there's the expected heckling.

(I want them to meet Newt and Herman so bad like. they'd be around the same age as them (because we are bumping everything in PR canon back for this) and I think the combo punch of Newt and Robin being themselves would be hilarious. They're all kinda outsiders in the macho militarism of the Academy and i think the chaos would just be. unimaginable. )

But anyways. I think during the testing to see drift compatibility, Steve is called up and looks the scientist/military guy (because it's early days there aren't really "instructors" yet) and says "If you even think about putting me in one of those fucking things with anyone other than Robin, you've lost your mind and forgotten we're only here because you asked us to be together." Everyone is like ooooooh but then he squints at them and they shut up like oh damn okay sorry yeah.

And that's the end of that discussion.

There's something about being in the drift with each other that makes all that complaining and speculating and wishing to combine when they were teenagers seem half-assed. It's...not like anything either of them can describe. It feels right, like they were always meant to be that way. If they lived in each other's pockets before the Drift, they're in each other's skin now. Silent communication is expected for long-term drift partners. Residuals of the bond, dream sharing, but Robin and Steve, even among other pilots are exceptional. There's entire discussions happening in brief eye contact. They move in sync outside the Jaeger just as well as if they were still in the Drift. They've only had one RABBIT incident, and they pulled out of it fine. It's...eerie for some people to watch them, even other Pilots. (also the fact they'll casually mention shit like "well at least the air isn't toxic" or "hey. don't call this torture, that's offensive. I've been tortured!" or even "can't believe i survived evil bats for this shit." which is mildly offputting)

They end up on the Pacific northwest and into southern B.C. with a Mach 1 called... something like Midwest Deluge or something idk. They're media darlings the first Kaiju they kill two fifty kilometres off the coast of Washington. Robin is quirky, and Steve has all his midwestern boyish charm, and together they entrance people with the Drift. There's interviews and talkshows and then at some point action figures? (Dustin does not let this go. By this time he's also working in K-sci. [obviously??] but he's still annoying little brother shaped.)

Steve is usually one of the first quoted to describe the Drift, in his first interview having said "When I first met Robin --became friends with her--it felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. Now we have." Robin is also sometimes quoted with "There's probably nowhere I'd rather be, than in Steve's head."

Of course, with them being in the media, being kickass, and also being part of a program that emphasizes compatibility, there's questions on whether or not they're dating. Because while the Drift isn't romantic by nature, my god people would romanticize it. And when two hot people of opposite genders that are not related to each other in any way are piloting the Jaeger, and are just *gestures to all of stobinisms* assumptions abound.

They're in an interview after their third kill when it happens. It's a few years into their tenure as Pilots, maybe '96? (if the Breach opened in '91 and they were recruited in 93?) The host asks "So. romantically. You two have always denied that attraction, but working so close together, literally in each other's heads, isn't there a chance that has blossomed into something else? Something more?"

They roll their eyes. Steve says "there's nothing more than what Robin and I have. Romance isn't more it's just something else."

Robin goes "Plus..." Before Steve looks at her, eyebrows raised. "I think so" she says, obviously to a question Steve asked that only she heard. "What are they going to do? Fire me?" they both laugh.

He shrugs. "if you're sure..."

Robin hums. "Yes, well. I agree with everything Steve said. The Drift isn't romantic, it's connection. It's knowing. All sorts of relationships can be Drift compatible. Steve's and mine is Platonic. Capital P."

"You gonna actually say it anytime soon?"

"Shut up."

"I dunno it seems like you're stalling."

"Christ, Steve. I'm getting to it. Let me tell the world I'm a lesbian without nagging, goddamn." She turns to the interviewer. "anyways yeah I'm a lesbian so it was never going to be romantic between me and Steve. I'm just obsessed with him."

There's a pause, before they lean into each other and giggle. Steve whispers "good job" that's barely picked up by his mic.

They get a stern talking to by their Marshal but Robin was right. They can't get fired for it. They're too good and pilots are too valuable for plain ol' homophobia to get in the way. (It's seen as a cornerstone moment in queer history, a Jaeger Pilot, someone the world can do nothing but respect, came out! casually. with an already supportive loved one sitting beside her, ready to laugh with her.) And while some people act weird or distant about it, most move past it pretty quick, considering the Midwest team is well respected and there's obviously the bigger problem of underwater aliens trying to kill everyone. You either get over it and work with them or you leave or get people killed.

By the time of the events of the movie, they're old-timers. They've upgraded once to a Mach 3 after a brutal fight with a high category than expected made Midwest Deluge inoperable. They're in Hong-Kong because where else would they be? They need to end this. Just like they needed to see the Upside Down to the end. Their whole lives have been dominated by fighting for their lives and to protect their home and the world. One last push. They aren't even forty yet.

and then the breach is closed and the world is saved and they can retire with their massive pensions from being the best monster killers ever <3

[kaeyachi]

I saw your post about the Alberich surname and was curious about kaeya being half tayvatian! Can you explain that for me please? I miss and forget a lot of details and stuff in game, but I do genuinely love genshin lore related to khaenriah and kaeya! I also flip flop between kaeya being full khaenrian and being half whatever just because his star eye doesn't seem to be as pronounced as dainsleif for example. At least in game. (always zooming into his face to try and see the pretty star lol) Like I've seen the hc of his mom being sumeran and I think that's super cute! It could explain his darker skin tone compared to dainsleif and pierro? Or like idk the star trait has been deluted after many generations? Uh I've rambled a lot but I was just curious cuz I didn't know anything about him being half teyvatian!

IM SORRY I TOOK SO LONG *cries*

AND THEN I ACCIDENTALLY EXITED THE TUMBLR APP WHICH DELETED EVERYTHING I TYPED OUT 💔💔💔 THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LONGER IM HEARTBROKEN

but anyway...THANK YOU FOR ASKING!

I think it would be better for me to come back to this after 3.5 that way I can confirm most of what I initially typed out, but heres a summary of what I've thought of

1. His name being the only one in the history of known Khaenri'ahns to originate from Hindu instead of Norse/Scandinavian

2. Due to the Hindu origin of the name, we can connect it to his constellation which is represented by a peacock- India's national bird as well as the representation for the Spantamad in the Akademiya.

3. Him being there for the 3.5 Archon quest in Sumeru as well as him getting a possible skin that is clearly half Sumeru and half Khaenri'ahn inspired

4. notes or letters from a member of the Alberich clan in Sumeru

5. Most known Khaenri'ahn characters have been pale-skinned (were unsure about Pierro due to dim lighting but even then, he and Kaeya might be related) with distinctly shaped four-pointed star pupils while Kaeya was designed differently (unsure if its because he's the first one released in-game, if its a diluted gene trait, or if it might be indicative that he is curseless)

6. Seemingly curseless or unnafected by the curse. Was even "blessed" by Celestia with a vision, which is already odd. He's still the only canonical Khaenriahn with one (clearly Celestia doesnt care whether you want a vision or not either)

If someone can elaborate please go ahead! I'm sure I've missed some!

***Additional notes mildly unrelated to this theory***

-The Alberich clan must have been known for their strategic thinking, war knowledge, and mind games if they were able to rise as the leaders for Khaenri'ah during the war. If I were a Sumeru scholar, I'd tap that too lmao

-Kaeya's name meaning "Monsoon flower" is oddly tragic yet fitting. The monsoon flowers thrive in the rainy season. Kaeya thrives during the rain as well. His main growth points and tragedies in life have happened in the rain. If it rains during the 3.5 archon quest i will scream and cry please note this.

- oddly enough i am more of a believer of the "Kaeya being frozen in time for 500 years" theory. Its possible! Olaf Katzlein got frozen for 300 after all! Some old Sumeran must have immigrated to Khaenri'ah prior to the Catalycism and got the Alberich started. Alberich clan being the smartest family in Khaenri'ah maybe?? hmm...

-Majority of teyvat suspiciously dont know that Khaenri'ahns are the hilichurls and the abyss order which means this might be forgotten history...which is weird because if its a supposedly slow acting curse then even in future generations there should still be slow-turning Khaenri'ahns right? If they purposely stopped repopulating then how did Kaeya come to exist? Pierro getting funky with whom??????? He has only been beside the Tsaritsa for the past hundred years... OH MY GOD WAIT CRACK THEORY TIME- Kaeya being the Tsaritsa and Pierro's son which explains the white streaks in his hair. No? Ok I'll stop lmao...unless?? NAH JK THIS AINT IT...or is it... JUST KIDDING I SWEAR-

That's all for now! Hope this helped others figure out the thought process behind the Half-Teyvatian Kaeya theory!

[aprillikesthings]

oh god oh god

HEY GUESS WHAT I'm down to the last two episodes of She-Ra in my rewatch

On a related note, should you desire to read them all starting from s1ep1 for some godforsaken reason, here's the link. Please be amused at my claims that I would not do this for every episode and my repeated attempts to cut back on how much I copy/paste dialogue and/or explain the entire plot instead of just making jokes and commentary

If, somehow, you are New Here, I've been rewatching all of the 2018 She-Ra, ostensibly for fic-writing reasons as I had forgotten huge quantities of the plot. I have since become deeply obsessed, as one does.

I make a lot of adult jokes, random asides, references to other things, commentary, and a lot of cursing and crying. I love Catradora and I love Catra especially and have a tendency to add a screenshot every time they so much as look at each other. It seems silly to warn for spoilers at this point, but yeah, this is a RE-watch. It's just that I forgot a lot of it because I watched it the first time as it was coming out (pun intended). The shit I did remember is so fucking random tho lol

The last time I tried to do a two-parter in one post the number of times I had to reblog it because tumblr only allows 30 images per post got real stupid, so while I do still assume I will have to reblog multiple times per episode, I'm doing each episode separately.

HERE WE GOOOOO

s5 ep12 Heart (pt 1)

jfc i'm full of adrenaline lol

Also I have a beer, it's a citrus IPA because I live in Portland and it's required by law

(not really I just genuinely like them. that and IPA's that taste like gnawing on a douglas fir. also fruit sours.)

LOL I was so anxious I looked away from this post and consumed most of my beer this is gonna be hilarious

ALSO my goal is to finish these two episodes before the Easter Vigil service tomorrow night at 8pm

Theoretically I should be able to watch two episodes of TV in a day and a half, right? AHAHA

Bow should play Wonderwall

she always looks so soft with her hair down

but also having that thing just floating in front of your chest like that has gotta feel weird

ON A RELATED NOTE I know I made the joke in the last episode about how many people have the failsafe as a tattoo but the PROBLEM is that now I literally LIVE with a tattoo artist whose work I like--I already have two tattoos they've done, here and here, and the temptation is extremely high?? but I don't have any other obvious fandom-related tattoos (unless you count the title of a Björk song) so it feels weird to start with this one???? Like I don't have any LoTR or BBC Sherlock or SU or K/DA tattoos (to list off a bunch of fandoms I was devastatingly obsessed with at the time) so getting one for THIS fandom feels kinda weird. But like, also, if I got it kinda small on one wrist it would look kinda cool and be a nice loud DID U KNOW I'M GAY kinda thing. Gyahhh.

She's struggling to do She-Ra, and I'm sitting here YELLING because IT'S BECAUSE CATRA LEFT and UGH I want to murder Shadow Weaver

(eyyyy I won't have to, ha ha oh god)

Oh she manages to transform anyway. Without making any noise or glowing lights, just pop, She-Ra

awwww but also lol

related aside but like, every culture that figured out bows and arrows invented at least one kind of string instrument. Literally archers just fidgeting with their bows and going "oh this makes a nice sound, what if I put more strings on this thing." So many different places and cultures invented things like a guitar or like a harp or like a violin. But also I want to know who the FUCK figured out the hurdy-gurdy??? oh my god I just looked up the hurdy-gurdy and I'm cracking up because one of the earliest depictions of it is from the 1100's, in the Santiago de Compostela cathedral. A place I have been. Because I did the Camino last year.

oh right plot

I would like to take a moment and be grateful for the people who put together the transcripts on the fandom wiki for saving me typing up long bits of lore-heavy dialogue

She-Ra: "Prime is getting closer every day to figuring out how to access the Heart of Etheria. If he succeeds, he can use it to destroy worlds, galaxies, maybe even the entire universe. The Failsafe is our only chance at stopping him."

"His hold over them grows stronger every day they're chipped. If we don't free them now, we might lose them forever. Prime holds every advantage in this fight. He'll be ready for us. But we have a plan. Entrapta?" Entrapta: "I finally succeeded in cracking Prime's signal pattern. If I get access to his Spire network, I can use it to broadcast a jamming frequency that will disable all of the chips on Etheria, freeing everyone at once!" She-Ra: I need you all to get Entrapta to the Spire and keep Prime's forces distracted while she jams the signal."

"We're going to make sure that Prime can never hurt anyone ever again. We're ending this today. For good."

oh lord so Shadow Weaver is still there, sulking and looking away, and she looks over at her and starts almost losing She-Ra and being Adora again

have I mentioned how much I hate Shadow Weaver >:(

Adora goes outside...and looks around. I know who she's looking for. *sobs into a pillow*

NO. she's LOOKING for her GIRLFRIEND

I made that joke and then Glimmer literally says "Any sign of Catra?" I have to remember that at this point in the story literally everyone knows how in love they both are. Except them. Of course.

Adora: "She's not coming back." ;_;

Adora: I mean you don't have to come with me this could be dangerous Bow: the fuck are you talking about of course we're going

And she turns into She-Ra again, roll intro

Okay so they go to the Crystal Castle thing where Light Hope was

it doesn't look so good

but also that's creepy

anyway they tell the hologram (not Light Hope, the other one) that they're looking for the Heart of Etheria and that they're Friends of Mara. She-Ra gets scanned and then a door opens into a passageway. Bow and Glimmer take her hands and they walk into the hall but:

she's still looking for someone

I have to deal with another episode and change of her looking for Catra ghghggh this hurts meeeee

OH SO OF COURSE they literally switch to showing us Catra

bahaha okay so she sits up and looks behind her kind of sadly, and Melog just skids to a stop so hard they throw Catra off

And Melog looks at Catra like she's fucking nuts. Catra's like, wtf is wrong with you??? and Melog looks back like BITCH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Catra what did you think was going to happen when you got a therapy animal that can literally read your moods. Melog knows you're being a dumbass and has NO reason to pretend to believe your surface "I don't give a shit" act!!

Melog does airplane ears at that. And then just pounces Catra.

Time for pressure! Just like a real therapy animal. Big weighted blanket!

oh shit I forgot about this bit

Catra just immediately starts crying.

Catra: "You saw what happened! Adora chose Shadow Weaver, okay? Not me!"

*sobs into hands* you useless fucking dumbass that is your abysmally low self-esteem talking literally every living semi-sentient thing in the galaxy knows Adora's in love with you EXCEPT YOU

I can get frustrated with AU fics where these two both pull this "but what if she doesn't like me back" thing for ages while everyone around them is face-palming in frustration, but like. You have to admit. It's accurate to canon.

(It's also accurate to lesbians in general, lbh. Either fucking on the first date or doing the "but what if she's not into me" thing for months-to-years. Sometimes both, including in some of the fics I've written, heyooooo.)

Melog purrs and licks her face. A clone approaches and they both go invisible and then follow it.

MEANWHILE

the rest of the rebellion is attacking Horde Prime's ship thing

Wrong Hordak helps Entrapta get into the spire. The whole point of this fight (which I didn't bother screenshotting lol) is to give Entrapta time to disconnect everyone's chips from Horde Prime.

Lol once inside Entrapta does another one of those "holy shit this stuff looks so cool...OMG FOCUS" things

Back at the Crystal Castle Glimmers like "omg are you scared" and She-Ra says "No, I just hope this works." Liar.

Bow: "It'll be okay. And when we get back, it'll be a whole new world."

this poor girl. she's so heartbroken.

(meanwhile the plot of my fic-in-progress is literally them breaking up. (not forever.) but it's hilarious of me to get SO UPSET over this scene when I'm going to force them to repeat it. like it's a mutual decision in my fic but it doesn't make it hurt any less.)

PFFT I unpaused it, and IMMEDIATELY:

I just said OH SHIT out loud lol

oh god I saw someone talking about this in a youtube video right around when I started my rewatch

It's a hologram, she's not actually there. And Catra goes through multiple other ages, including her kid self, being chipped on Horde Prime's ship, when they were Horde cadets, etc; before going back to looking like she does now.

Adora's sharp little gasp of shock here

Adora goes to touch Catra's hand and the hologram disappears

(good lord she's beautiful here)

And I think I agree with the youtube video: Adora knew she was upset about Catra running off, but this is the moment she specifically realizes she's in love, and it breaks her heart into tiny pieces.

(Hah, I actually say a very similar thing in part of my fic that they mention in the video--that previous to this, she refused to let herself want this or even think about it. "I didn't even realize this was something I could want.")

BUT ALSO so like is this a remnant of Light Hope's programming that tortured them with childhood flashbacks in season one (in order to drive them apart) or what

LOL NO

I know I made this joke before but I'm suing Nate for emotional damages

She-Ra: "We need to be careful. It looks like this place can still project memories."

oof

A still-invisible Catra follows the clone to where Horde Prime's ship is and is visibly terrified and shaking. A clone who might be Hordak turns around with that white in his eyes that means Prime is using him to see, and Catra just tries to be quiet and not move but she's obviously triggered, and I mean that in the literal PTSD sense.

Horde Prime (via Hordak?): "My brothers. The time has come at last. No longer shall She-Ra stand in my way."

oh okay so Horde Prime's actual ship is still in space (just orbiting Etheria I assume) and the planet-side thing is him speaking through one of the clones via the hive mind.

"Begin the acquisition process!"

are they just gonna straight-up drill into it?

apparently yes

the whole area lights up with that sickening green light, including all the lines that characters kept noticing on the ground that looked like some combo of circuit boards and First Ones' writing.

meanwhile, Adora keeps slipping out of being She-Ra for split seconds and is clearly stressing The Fuck Out and possibly walking in the wrong direction in her distress, only to walk into another memory/hologram.

And I've predictably hit the image limit, but 13:30 to go which is better than last night pfft okay gonna reblog

[yue-muffin]

*cracks knuckles* Here we go.

I have been quite curious about ORV for a while, though I had absolutely NO idea what it was about until I finally decided to take the plunge. I mostly keep finding interesting playlists, quotes that promise lots of pain and suffering, and cool fanart. I avoided it until now because it's long. Really, really long. And long series either go one of two ways with me: I either binge the entire thing at the cost of my sleep (and sanity) or read it so slowly I forget what happened in the first half by the time I get to the midpoint.

Anyways, something overcame me this weekend and I decided to finally read it.

Chapters 1-6: Prologue + Starting the Paid Service

I was genuinely surprised to learn the story is about a book becoming reality with death game shenanigans because, again, I've only ever seen pretty fanart and vague quotes that revealed nothing about the plot. Immediately, I was like 'okay, I'll read a bit and give it a chance'. This isn't normally my type of genre, but I do read outside my comfort zone sometimes (and enjoy it, like SVSS which is transmigration + comedy which is usually not my thing).

The opening lines caught my attention, actually, they work really well as a hook despite being the ending of the webnovel in the book. It leaves you with a lot of questions

"There are three ways to survive in a ruined world. I have forgotten some of them now. However, one thing is certain: you who are currently reading these words will survive."

Also, not that you really need the reminder with the page count right below, but it definitely implies this is going to be a looong journey. If there are only three ways to survive and you've forgotten some already, that must have been quite the journey...Anyways, I just really like the tone of the opening lines.

So, like, Kim Dokja is sadly relatable haha. The struggle of the daily grind is real. So is wondering how your coworkers can have so much energy or be such go-getters when you're just trying to get through the day.

However, his reaction to the whole 'fiction becomes reality' or even the traumatic head-bursting deaths right in front of him just isn't normal. And also sliiightly worrisome. Genre-savvy he might be, that's some traumatizing shit right off the bat! Although, that kind of goes for anyone in this story who survives past the first few chapters.

But Kim Dokja is surprisingly chill about the whole thing. The whole scene with the crickets also shows that he's intelligent...and also kind of good at messing with people. He might monologue to us, but he certainly doesn't go into detail with any of the people around him, or explain much about why he's doing something.

The story also shows a pretty realistic range of reactions to all the traumatizing crazy going on.

And for a story I wasn't sure I was going to like, it sure is a page turner. I'm not terribly used to all the game mechanics, but they're actually pretty fun. The game commentary just sparks joy in me, for some reason.

The whole "sole reader of this entire novel" thing is also interesting. One, it does put him at an advantage to literally everyone else "canon" to the story or not. But on a meta level, who do we write stories for? Sometimes it's for oneself, but most of the time stories are made to be shared, they're tools used to communicate with others. So, that makes the "final" line in the novel even more impactful. To you who are reading this story...

Next up will be chapters 7-11: Protagonist...

[sophieinwonderland]

hi RA survivor. I dont intend to start an argument. but here’s some resources on RAMCOA. Side system and system hopping are hyperspecific niche terms used within private communities. I just want to try and provide information. Documents on RAMCOA and RAMCOA terms are hard to find. It’s a very, very lucrative form of abuse. And a lot of said private communities are private for their own safety.

https://endritualabuse.org/full-article-index/

http://ra-info.org/mind-control/

https://deprogramwiki.com/programming/types-of-internal-worlds-and-types-of-alters/

Side system was created by survivors as a way to say “A small cluster of alters specifically formed to do X”. Structure is a large thing in RAMCOA

Thanks for the resources.

On system hopping and side systems... none of these mention these terms.

Look, history is very easily forgotten and misrepresented. Especially where agendas exist to intentionally rewrite it. If you follow politics, especially, you can see this happening a lot.

There's an old saying that a lie can travel half-way around the world while the truth is still getting its boots on.

I don't sense malice or think you're intentionally trying to spread misinformation when you claim system hopping came from RAMCOA communities. But I hope you can understand why I'm skeptical when someone says "these communities coined these terms, but the communities are all super private so I can't provide any evidence or proof for what I'm saying."

I've traced "system hopping" back at least as far as 2015, but it appears to have already in use by that point with its current meaning of headmates traveling to another system in a different body. In contrast, I haven't found claims of it being from RAMCOA survivors that predate... I think... 2021?

[gunkreads]

Making a post for my full-series thoughts about The Expanse and how it wrapped up, good and bad.

Caveat lector (I looked up the latin word for "reader" just for this joke): when I have negative thoughts about something in a book, I force myself to pick them apart down to the most minute details. This generates massive walls of text. These text walls don't mean I truly loathe the thing; they mean I'm doing my absolute best to not be a Hater, but rather to analyze my feelings so that you can read something more constructive and interesting than "X was dumb and didn't work".

I want to break this down into six parts: one for each of the main characters (Holden, Naomi, Amos, and Alex), one for the plot, and one for the world (it'll make sense when I get to it, hopefully). This may not be as long as it sounds like it'll be, but it's still long as fuck.

Bear in mind that I read this series very slowly, over about three months, so some of the early-series details are hazy and my opinions on them should be taken with the assumption that I've forgotten some stuff.

On Holden, I can be brief:

His arc was almost a full 180. Call it a 173, give or take 5 degrees. Holden starts the series with the stalwart belief that "if you give everyone all the information available, they'll make the right choice". Eventually, during the Free Navy arc, he moves to "If you give everyone all the information available, they'll eventually make the right choice". During his Laconian imprisonment, he moves to "If you give the right person the right information, they'll make the right choice" (this is the biggest jump we see). That part was fun because he'd just almost turned into Miller. Fucking excellent.

He ends on "I have all the information and I have no idea what the right choice is, but I have to act." This is the very last thing he does: make a snap decision with all the information in the world, fully accepting that he might be wrong. The meat of this final decision is to take the stars away. Holden says "It doesn't matter if we deserve this, it doesn't matter if we'll earn it or conquer it eventually; we're dying now," and makes the decision for all of humanity that he's going to destroy the ring gates.

This could have felt cheap because of the way it completely absolves him of the responsibility for his decision, but it feels fully earned because this type of decision is his ENTIRE CHARACTER. The point of James Holden is that he takes hard choices away from people and makes them himself! He's already taken responsibility for dozens of these types of decisions before. He says there's no choice here; I'm going off to die. He survives this a hundred times, then finally dies from it. This makes it a beautiful ending for him. I loved it. He's such a profoundly simple character throughout a series with fairly complex characters, and that makes him feel truly special rather than lazy writing.

On Naomi... I have mixed feelings.

I feel that her lack of "epilogue" (not the literal epilogue, just a conclusive send-off for her character) made her ending less weighty than it could have been. If I had to point to a specific line that felt like her full-series character arc's climax, it would be Alex's "It would have worked beautifully" in reference to Naomi's program to monitor Ring gate traffic. Naomi's character is marked by decades of desperate cries for people to fucking listen to her, for them to believe her, that she wants everyone to live! She has the plan, she's objectively a logistical genius, and if you just tell her what's happening, she can save all of you fucking idiots! Alex's line there broke my heart clean in half. She won the wrong fight. She scored the season-winning goal the moment after the league was dismantled.

Naomi is a character about the frustration of having an answer but no voice with which to share it. This really comes to a head in Act 3, when she's coordinating the resistance (as well as anyone possibly could!) with the most janky, fucked-up communication system anyone could possibly design. If I consider that line of Alex's to be Naomi's legacy in the series, which I do, I'm very happy with her arc overall, but...

I don't really like the way she seemed to just drop off the map at the end of the last book. She has her little moment where she's pre-mourning Holden after he's revealed that he's injected himself with more protomolecule, but after that? She seems to just be... kind of moving forward. She's just working, nothing more--strategically, what she does in the series' climax is no more difficult than anything she's done before; it just has higher stakes and she's clearly drowning her grief in work. The thing that feels weird to me is that, while she gets the last line in the book (pre-epilogue), and her series-long arc closes out very neatly, it feels like her little mini-arc of the moment of that final climax never settles out properly. She gets cut off at the 80% mark and just... disappears.

I like to assume that she fully retired after getting back through to Sol. She deleted all those incoming messages and dropped herself fully off the map, feeling like it was finally time to give up after saving the entire universe. The simple act of her deleting the messages would've given me that closure, but as it was, there's just this little nag at the back of my mind that her arc in the book ended like five seconds too early.

It's a minor nitpick! I loved the way the climax wrapped around and had her basically leading humanity for a few beautiful moments, with all her hard work almost paying off before the game changed.

Amos? I fucking love Amos.

I loved him before, I loved him during, and I love him after. Everyone loves Amos. I'm not special. He really was the last man standing, after all. Fucking beautiful. Perfection. A simple arc, a simple conclusion, and a simple message for a simple character. His only real change in the series was during Persepolis Rising, when he had to deal with Clarissa's slow death, and while that was excellent, it was really more of an arc for Bobbie.

Alex... is the character whose ending I cared about the least.

I don't dislike it; it's fully above that margin, and on a surface level, I think ending his whole character arc on his answer to the family problem he's struggled with his whole life is a good choice.

It was interesting that they had his presence end before we'd confirmed he was safe, and with a slight hint that he might not make it to Nieuwestad. I didn't like that at first glance, but after further thought, I enjoy it as a way for the authors to say "the journey and destination don't matter; the conclusion of Alex's story was when he truly chose to step in this direction."

But overall, I don't know if I have much to say about Alex. He's a very sparse character who has less overt reason to be simple than Holden or Amos do; the latter two both have something deeply, deeply wrong with them that makes them really fucking wacko in a specific way, but Alex is just... kind of a regular deadbeat dad? He's just really into flying ships? That's kind of it. I know they explore that in Cibola Burn, but I didn't feel like Alex had that much presence in the whole story as a character, so I found the simple, vague ending they gave him satisfying enough through my general apathy.

For the plot!

The big stuff, the shape of the story. I still have a huge complaint about it: the Free Navy arc felt way too long and way too much of a sidetrack. It functioned as setup for Laconia, yes; it also had literally nothing to do with the overarching story. It felt like a side mission blown out of proportion, which is weirdly appropriate for a story that started out as a TTRPG setting.

On the above? I am one HUNDRED percent willing to be proven wrong. Please, please, please talk me out of my position here. I am currently at one end of the spectrum, where I actively see disconnections from the Free Navy arc and the main plot; I'd love to be pulled to the other end, where I can see how it all ties in. The problem is that I can see the cause-and-effect tie-ins: I get that Earth needed to be destroyed to truly push people through the gates, I get that the huge catastrophe needed to happen to distract from Laconia's growth, I get that it was an end to the concept of a unified Belt/OPA, and I get that it was an immensely well-done arc for Naomi's character, but... I feel like it's a puzzle piece that just fits in a little loosely.

Moving on. I think the wrapup of the whole protomolecule makers/dark gods lore discovery (via Elvi at the BFE) was quite well done, especially given that it was done in such a dispersed way. I felt like I never got a "sit down, here's the deal" exposition dump of like... generally what the nature of all this stuff was. I was just expected to read the "The Dreamer" chapters very carefully, remember the "The Investigator" chapters pretty well, pay attention to how the ring entities worked, and put together the cleanly laid-out pieces myself. I feel I succeeded at this, given that reading through the wiki pages for the ring builders and the smoke things doesn't really reveal anything new to me.

That said, I was... kind of too in-the-moment to process how insane the implication of the final reveal was: that this whole thing was a hidden metaphor for colonialism all along, and that these dark smoke entities are justifiably fighting back against a wound in (sub)reality that the protomolecule builders created. The road to heaven is paved in metaphysical blood, I guess? The protomolecule builders weren't willing to be as decisive as Holden, weren't willing to sacrifice all they'd built, and consequently left their problems for another generation of beings when they died; Holden managed to have the magical willpower to say "Fuck this, I'm shutting it down, even though it'll kill millions and change humanity forever." It was kind of cool that he got that send-off, performing a profound act of healing in this sub-universe by deleting the ring space. Maybe I'm leaning too heavily on my interpretation of this theme, but it feels fairly clear-cut to me, honestly, so I'd love to hear other interpretations.

Regarding the world.

This section is kind of a subsection of the plot, but I feel like "where does the series leave humanity?" is a question that falls more under "worldbuilding" than "story" in this specific series.

These books had so much fucking philosophy in them and it felt like none of it really mattered much. Most of that philosophy stopped at a very broad-spectrum level of analysis, which is the series' greatest... not weakness, necessarily, but missed potential: no philosophical conundrum is ever interrogated beyond the immediate scenario or vague hypotheticals. The authors clearly have a very specific set of ideas about human nature that all felt very generic to me when put into practice; I felt that humanity through their lens was a fairly predictable beast, which only sort of worked.

I understand that The Expanse is, at its core, a character series. More than anything, it's about the people in it; its plot is a vehicle for characters, not the other way around. In that sense, it ended in an overall great way, as discussed above. Because of that, when I judge the story on what it tried to achieve, I think it succeeded.

But when I broaden my approach a little and look at what the authors suggested to me that they could do, I feel like there's more to say. The end of the story, I need not remind you, is effectively a soft reset for humanity. There's no more interstellar travel until they figure it out for real this time, with no cheats--and per the epilogue, they do just that. The core message behind this is that humanity's tenacity will always push them in the same direction: outward. The problem with this, in my opinion, was that the authors chose to express this throughout the series in a very obtuse way: by making "everyone else" a character.

The following is specifically regarding Act 3 (Persepolis Rising on):

So the series is about its characters, and "everyone else" is a character. By having the scope of the story affect all of humanity, all of humanity must necessarily be involved. As far as Act 3 is concerned, this means that the gears of industry never stop turning, people never stop hating and loving, and all apocalyptic danger is effectively ignored to those ends. This made our perspective characters part of a small, exclusive group of people who were actually worried about the universe ending. Everyone else seemed to... not really care. They were scared, sure, but they didn't stop shipping stuff through the ring gates! It was fundamentally stupid, and as far as the authors seem to believe, fundamentally human.

My problem is that the story puts "all of humanity" into the same framework it puts its individual characters. As Act 3 hits, basically everyone not involved in direct on-page conflict is treated as one single character. This is fucking monumentally ironic, given the way the story ends and the whole hive-mind thing. I get how you might not see what I'm seeing here, but consider this: the story feeds us information about what "everyone else" is doing almost exclusively via Naomi. She's the traffic controller; that's her main job for the last two books. In her mind, the character named Everybody Else (Mx. Else, for brevity) is just... doing stuff she can't control. Mx. Else is upping traffic through the ring gates; Mx. Else is a threat to the underground's security; Mx. Else is blowing up the communications relays; Mx. Else is yadda yadda yadda.

It's not about whether Mx. Else is actually supposed to be a homogeneous entity (again, lol @ the irony); it's about the fact that we, the readers, only see Mx. Else as a single huge force. The way the authors write it through Naomi's eyes, "The UNN", "The MCRN", "The OPA", "The Free Navy", "Laconia", "Avasarala", "Saba", "Duarte", and most incongruously but importantly "humanity" are all the same type of entity. Groups and people get lumped together as characters, sure, and that works--but not when you expand the group to be everyone.

What would I have done? Simple. Shut the fuck up and write my own book, if I'm so smart Retain some semblance of different human groups in Act 3 besides "Laconia" and "the underground". Why don't Auberon or Bara Gaon have communities with specific interests? Why does Naomi not have to juggle the desires of different planets, all of whom are still doing shit the whole time, and OBVIOUSLY have interests beyond "just truckin' along"?

Here's my thesis: when there were 3 factions (UN, MCR, OPA) this worked fine. When the authors made some big "nature of humanity" statement, it tracked, because they were making that statement as a blanket over multiple opposing groups, which made it feel more potent--all these people who want to kill each other have this in common. Later in the series, when they're making the same type of statement, it doesn't track as well because most of humanity is all in one group; it's not a statement that unites any opposing groups, really, since Laconia and the underground aren't really included in it.

You know what? I kind of wish I could put all this under another, smaller cut, because it's really rambly and it's not reflective of my overall thoughts on the series.

To sum up, I feel that the series' philosophy and commentary on human nature was simplified more than it needed to be from a practical standpoint, and instead turned to a big old "oh well, nothing we can do about Mx. Else" that the characters could point to when it was appropriate.

To conclude (nine pages later and you're still here, so this one's for you):

:)

[cf56]

My thoughts on episode 4

SPOILERS for season 3, episode 4 of the Animaniacs reboot

This review will have less substance than the last one because I just don't have as much to say. You can skip the next paragraph if you just want to hear my thoughts on the episode.

It's only been four days, and I've already gone insane. It's killing me to be separated from the fandom. I see the snippets of discussions and the filtered posts I can't view and I just desperately want to be a part of it all. Participate in the discussion, share in the same emotions. If that wasn't a factor, I'd have absolutely no regrets about watching one episode a day. Especially after typing up my reviews, I find that one day is the perfect amount of time to thoroughly digest each episode and prepare myself to watch the next one. I don't feel myself chomping at the bit to watch two or three episodes a day. I don't even think I have the time to do that and also keep doing these reviews. The only reason I want to go faster is so that I can return to the fandom sooner. There's six more days and six more episodes. The emotions are super mixed, though, because while I desperately want to exit my self-imposed prison, every day that passes is also another day closer to the end of Animaniacs for me. Do I go faster and get back to the fandom, but risk less thoroughly enjoying the last season of Animaniacs? Or do I keep watching slowly but risk missing the most active period this fandom will likely ever have again? THIS is why shows need to be released weekly. It's a dilemma I can't solve, and it leaves me feeling anxious and detached all day, thinking about absolutely nothing else than all of this.

What? The episode? Oh, it was decent.

Here's a closer look at the three abominations:

Could these be the animals the Warners are based on? I think a gold earring suits Yakko well.

"Do they watch us when we go to the bathroom?"

Only once, Wakko.

I loved Yakko's expressions and animation here.

I found it cute to see Dot looking at her spider with such love. An underrated, consistent part of her character through the original and the reboot is her fascination with keeping creepy little horrors as pets.

POOR BABY! Can't you see he needs his chicken tendies?!

I just got this joke. There were actually three spiders, Dot already lost one, and Andrew Garfield was forgotten.

Sad to see how far seniority gets you in this field, because lord knows Dr. Scratchansniff has never helped a single patient.

Like I said about the previews, Yakko is super cute in this segment!

The ambulance driver said they were going to make another stop, and Wakko's daily activity was never followed up with like Yakko's and Dot's. Is this implying Wakko ate so much at the hot dog eating contest that he had to get an ambulance?

It was a pretty funny segment that felt like the classic Scratchansniff-Warner cartoons you'd see in the first half of the original series.

It still confuses me, though, how they said they were listening to fan feedback for season 3, but they still didn't bother to make Scratchy more fatherly like literally every single fan wanted. We went from Scratchansniff willingly taking the Warners in his car on trips to being upset that they happened to join him in an Uber because he chose the wrong option in the app. At least give us a few moments that show he has some care for the Warners- like when Wakko starts to cry, have him feel bad and willingly give in to going back to the restaurant instead of the Uber driver doing it. During the best parts of their relationships in the original series, he was considerate towards the Warners' feelings and asked about their hobbies. Have him show some interest in Dot's pets or Yakko's passion for yodeling. The segment doesn't have to go any differently overall. Just a few caring moments would make all the difference. The decision to revert Scratchansniff to being a typical cartoon antagonist for the Warners was universally panned in the original and it baffles me that they still carry it forward to this day. No one wants to see that.

The Pinky and the Brain segment was good but nothing special. I'm getting a little sick of the same old formula for the reboot. Why not start a couple episodes off with Pinky and the Brain and end with the Warners? Or any other combination of segment order you could do. The formula in the reboot has always been either Warners-PATB-Warners or Warners-(sometimes some other segment)-PATB.

I find it interesting that this is their normal cruising attire:

I thought this part was an interesting symbolism for the two conflicting human ideas on climate change. Do we stick around and try to salvage what's left of our original home, or do we just try to bail Earth and start over in the stars?

My favorite part of this segment was how it all instantly devolved into total nonsensical chaos in about one second.

Poor guy will never get his revenge :(

It was a decently funny segment. Not much more to say about it.

The episode was good. It didn't stand up to the last one, but I didn't have any major complaints that ruined the whole thing for me. There wasn't really a major musical number in the entire episode. I think they've been too light on the music so far this season. The Warners have only had two songs in six segments, and only one of them was super great in my opinion. Take advantage of these characters and legendary voices while you have them.

This episode was definitely worse than episode 3, but it's hard for me to decide between this one and episode 2. Episode 2 had a better PATB segment but a Warner segment that didn't do much for me like this one did. By virtue of me being a Warner fan first and this episode having some very cute moments with them, I think I have to put episode 4 above episode 2. Despite the lack at even an attempt at a song.

My current ranking of season 3 episodes:

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 2

Episode 1

I encourage you to participate in the discussion on this post if you have anything to say about episode 4 or those that came before it, but don't say anything about the episodes that come after. Pretend like you haven't even seen them. I have to thank my friends in the replies who humor me every day and discuss each episode without spoilers. You two are the only reason I'm still semi-sane. Without you, I'd feel completely isolated.

I don't know if I'll cave and start doing multiple episodes per day. This takes a lot of willpower, but for now I'm still tentatively planning to tough it out.

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[tobesolonely]

oh my transportation #7 please :O

hiiii sorry if the format is wonky yalllll i'm on my phone ignore da typos!!!

---

“H, why is the car slowing down?”

Your boyfriend doesn't answer, just begins maneuvering the car so he's pulling off close to the side of a tree and out the pathway of other cars that will eventually need to pass.

“So,” he begins after a moment of silence. “I may have forgotten to fill up the tank before we left home and thought it would last us longer than it did…”

“Why would you take that chance?”

Harry gives you a sheepish look before pulling out his phone. You see him let out a quiet sigh of relief before he begins typing quickly.

“Luckily we're not too deep into the woods and I've still got reception, yeah? Told m’assistant and he's gonna drive up and bring enough gas for us to get to a gas station and fill up…”

"And how long will that take?”

Your ill-prepared boyfriend turns to look out the driver side window and away from you. “Shouldn't take more than a couple hours…three max.”

"Harry…”

When your boyfriend convinced you to go camping with him to get away from your stressful everyday lives for the weekend, you didn't anticipate running out of gas in the middle of nowhere!

"Hey! Let's look at the bright side, my love.”

You don't hesitate to hide the way you roll your eyes from your boyfriend. “What's the bright side of being stuck in the middle of the forest for a couple hours?”

“There's no one around,” he unbuckles his seatbelt and twists his body so he's now facing you, beginning to lower his seat in the process. “And my windows are very, very tinted, love. I can think of a few things we can do to pass the time.”

You feel heat flood your cheeks but you don't want Harry to have the satisfaction of knowing how quickly he can make you fold when you were just chastising him, so you play like you're unaware as to what he's alluding to.

“Oh? What things, H?”

"I think you know what ‘things’ I mean, baby,” he spreads his legs slightly in the driver seat, then pats his lap, “C’mon, love. Sit right here.”

"Who said I was in the mood?”

Harry gives you a cheeky grin. “When aren't you in the mood for m’cock, Y/N?”

You can’t argue with that, so you unbuckle your seatbelt and ungracefully climb across the center console and onto Harry’s spread lap. You immediately go to unbutton his pants then lift your shirt, allowing him to yank at your bra and cause your breasts to spill out.

He grabs you by your neck and pulls you toward him, locking your lips with his in a heated kiss. He then moves his lips to your uncovered tits and harshly sucks a nipple into his mouth, alternating between them quickly as he kneads at them.

Your moans of pleasure ring throughout the car as Harry taps your bum, signaling for you to lift yourself up so he can work on undressing your lower half. It’s a sweaty mess of limbs, but he's successful in getting you naked and on his already leaking cock in no more than thirty seconds.

“That's it, ride my cock baby. Don't want you to stop movin’ until you're cummin’ all over me, do you understand?”

[winkle-pickers]

MORE "SPIDEYKAIBA", "more kaibabros garabage" and "puffship"

HEHEHE. OK I'm gonna put the spideykaiba stuff in a separate post, but HUZZAH I'm so stoked for some

puffship

The story behind this one is actually my favourite classical composer story of all time: Rachmaninoff desperately wanted to become friends with his fellow composer Stravinsky, but wasn't quite sure how to break the ice. He heard Stravinsky liked a certain type of expensive honey, and just randomly showed up at Stravinsky's house in the middle of the night with a big ol' jar of honey. It worked. They became friends.

BUT ALSO THIS IS LIKE, PEAK BAKURA BEHAVIOUR, ISN'T IT?! (as I am rapidly adding more red yarn and thumbtacks to my 'tenuous connections between YGO and classical music' corkboard, a large hook comes to drag me off stage)

Hence this excerpt but with a more Jounouchi-esque food substituted:

When the buzzer in Jounouchi’s flat goes off at midnight, he’s not sure what to expect. The only people who ever drop by unannounced are Honda and Anzu. Anzu has a key and has never once in her life bothered with the buzzer, and Honda only comes at ungodly hours of the morning to clean his apartment and lecture him the entire time while Jounouchi watches TV in a half-awake stupor. “Hello?” Jounouchi says into the receiver. “Hello,” a soft voice returns. A pause. “Bakura? The hell are you doing here at midnight?” Bakura is silent for a moment, and then: “Do you like shrimp?”

I'll put the next one under a cut 'cause this is getting long, but it's a YGODM rewrite where Seto's mind crush goes. Very differently lol

Anyone who knows me probably remembers this one 'cause I've been poking away at this for actual years 💀 but very roughly (??!) it's a YGODM rewrite where Mokuba is Seto's half-brother and they don't grow up together. So when Seto gets mind-crushed he doesn't have any reason to 'put the pieces back together.' He's in his mind crush coma for two full years, and then Isono manages to find Mokuba in foster care. Yuugi & Atem's relationship is really different in this one too! It's a much slower burn to Friendship™️and there's more 'oh god an arson obsessed ghost is in my body' fear and paranoia. Basically just me enjoying dark freaky Season 0 vibes for way longer and easing into the whole plot later on when the kids are college-aged.

more kaibros garbage

Anzu had completely forgotten herself, and was examining Kaiba with open fascination - and revulsion. She moved closer to him hesitantly. “Can he...can he hear us?” she asked, her voice small. The maid Okazaki was already nodding enthusiastically, but Isono slowly shook his head. “There’s really no way to know, Mazaki-san.” Yuugi knew that the answer was more complicated than the question had been. Kaiba could hear and respond to noise, certainly; the whole reason he wasn’t hooked up to a mess of tubes in a hospital bed was because he could eat with assistance, and raise and lower his arms obediently when asked to in order to facilitate clothes-changes and cleaning. The question was whether he understood any of those noises in a meaningful way, and whether he ever would again. It had already been two years. The outlook didn’t seem so good, these days. Anzu gingerly sat down in the chair closest to Kaiba. She took another long, hard look at his vacant face. Her expression slowly began to shift. Pity. An emotion that Yuugi couldn’t allow himself to feel towards Kaiba. To pity the frail, twisted boy before him was to condescend to him, to disrespect their relationship. Yuugi had done this to him, and so he owed it to Kaiba to remember him as he had been - tall and powerful with a loud, strident voice - vicious, calculating, eyes shining like the cruelly sharp edge of a diamond - alive. Anzu reached out and gently, gently laid her hand on top of Kaiba’s. “Hi, Kaiba-kun,” she said softly. “We brought your diploma.”

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

50's Jukebox Favorites 1988 Pop / Doo Wop / Pop-Rock

Went back to the 50s today with this short release from the single-biggest name in the history of the ever-crowded budget compilation game, K-tel, who gathered a bunch of hits together here that mostly came from the latter part of the decade. Through the years, K-tel has caught plenty of flak from folks for being a cheap and lazy enterprise that just repeatedly packaged the biggest hits of a certain day onto one release, but I'm here to tell you that, as someone who's sifted through quite a fair amount of oldies comps, a lot of the selections on this particular CD don't really seem to be fixtures of budget oldies comps in general. So, unexpectedly, without even having to evaluate the music itself, this CD already gets some points for its own uniqueness.

And the song that really seems to seal it all is Jimmy Clanton's "Just a Dream," the New Orleans teen idol's breakout hit, which also happened to be the biggest of his career, as it went to #4 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart back in 1958. I don't think that I've ever heard this song on another oldies comp before, and despite its composition being pretty typical for a late 50s pop tune, Clanton's own powerfully striking voice is the thing that makes it ultimately stand out, and is probably what enabled it to sell a whopping million copies in the first place.

But in addition to this comp dealing mostly with the late 50s, K-tel also seems to have primarily occupied themselves with a softer side of pop here too; there's no R&B, no soul, and certainly no rough-and-tumble rock & roll from the likes of Chuck Berry or Jerry Lee Lewis or Bo Diddley or Bill Haley & His Comets. And for a comp that claims to consist of "50s Jukebox Hits," you'd think that they'd try to present a broader range of what actually blasted out of jukeboxes throughout that decade, rather than narrowing its focus to mostly straight-up pop and slow and midtempo doo wop, which are types of 50s music that don't really seem to have stood the test of time all too well 😴.

That said, though, within this more anodyne realm, this album still has a couple more beauties on it. One is The Skyliners' "Since I Don't Have You," which, despite never having reached the top ten of the Hot 100, seems to be included on loads of oldies comps nonetheless, and really shines when lead singer Jimmy Beaumont suddenly escalates with his own magnificent falsetto. A really essential doo wop tune there.

And the other song is The Teddy Bears' "To Know Him Is to Love Him," which was legendary producer Phil Spector's first ever hit, notching itself a #1 spot in 1958. It's a song with a regular 50s-type of progression, but the production was exceptionally dynamic for its time, and it would eventually lead to Spector's own famous and patented 'Wall of Sound' technique. On this one, frontwoman Annette Kleinbard expands her voice beautifully on the bridge, satisfyingly raising the song's overall intensity, before returning to a mode of soft and unassuming sweetness to close out. "To Know Him" is another tune that you're sure to find on a bunch of other oldies comps too, but it sure is a remarkable one.

So, a nice, somewhat forgotten gem here that I've never come across on any oldies comp before, despite it having gone platinum, and then two other late 50s staples. I wish this K-tel comp could've been more eclectic, but for about a half-hour's worth of tunes, this isn't a bad look at some of what the latter half of the 50s had to offer.

Highlights:

The Skyliners - "Since I Don't Have You" Jimmy Clanton - "Just a Dream" The Teddy Bears - "To Know Him Is to Love Him"

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Just shower thoughts... For a long time I've been confused about why Meyer wrote the Jacob/Renesmee imprint. Most of the weird shit that happens in Twilight I can justify as leaning into the monsterfucker/Phantom of the Opera angle or worldbuilding fails. But the baby soulmate thing?? But And Then There Were None kickstarted a wire in my head that transmigrated me into Stephenie Meyer's head during my shower.

I'm Meyer writing New Moon. I want to set the groundwork to break the love triangle in Edward's favor. I need Jacob out of the way, preferably dating someone else. But I don't want Jacob to seem like he loved Bella less, or like the kind of guy who would treat a woman like she's his second choice. Solution? I apply my weird concept of true love to the problem. Bang, imprinting. He loved Bella as much as he could but was destined for someone else! For now, Jacob is un-imprinted for now since I want the love triangle to be central to the Eclipse plot.

However, writing Eclipse I get stuck. Jacob is Bella's best friend. If he imprints on someone else, it means that he can't go with Bella on her immortal voyage of true love. She'll be sad. Unacceptable. Ok, I say. Jacob imprints on a vampire. Then he and Bella can stay friends, forever, as the new vampire (RenesmeeLite) will prove vampires can be good people.

BUT I still have a problem. What if some Jacob/Bella fans don't buy the new ship after all the drama in Eclipse? What if they (rightly) argue imprinting is thralldom and hate it? What if they (god forbid) make postcanon Jacob/Bella fanfic where the imprint breaks and the old ship re-sails? I need to make it clear that a) Edward/Bella are in unbreakable true love and b) Jacob/Bella's connection was sincere but ultimately platonic.

For a) marriage and sex are pretty big commitments. Escalate. The biggest commitment? A baby. Half-vampire baby can never die and thus never be forgotten. Renesmee will complete my Edward/Bella endgame. For b) ... I realize... I've written RenesmeeLite. Renesmee solves the Jacob/Bella friendship problem as now not only does Jacob have to like vampires, he has an excuse to join the Cullens and officially follow Bella around for the rest of her life! Also, Jacob's relationship with Bella is retconned to imply that his great love for her was only due to her similarity to his true soulmate/the call of fate. The Cullens and wolves complete the alliance arc begun in Eclipse, which they will no doubt use to someday take down the terrible Volturi and potentially become vampire royalty themselves. Ignoring the implications of that, it's a good day to be Bella. As for now, I edit Eclipse to add foreshadowing to Jacob's destiny... sorry Claire and Quil, you'll have to be sacrifices.

What do you think? Do you buy it?

And Then There Were None a Halloween Twilight special by myself and @therealvinelle that readers caught us out on while we were still anonymous.

It's a delightful theory the trouble is that's not really what we do here on this blog. This is a blog to divest ourselves of authorial intent or to try and peer into the mind of Meyer and ask "why?" For one thing, it keeps the blog consistent, for another I genuinely have no idea.

Meyer is utterly incomprehensible to me. Not only are we different people but... I mean, look at Edward. Look, there's your normal Phantom of the Opera bad boy tragic love interest type, and then there's Edward and the shit he says. And it's unironic, we're supposed to genuinely like him, she thinks he's a dream boat as he says, "I'll eat your babies."

How does one even comprehend such a person?

In this case though I'll go on a limb and say that given Meyer having doubled down on imprinting in the first place as well as Edward...

I think it was the plan to start with and perhaps even the reason imprinting in the series exists at all.

We see way too much foreshadowing in New Moon with imprinting immediately brought up with Sam and Emily, it is already a significant plot point and one Jacob finds himself concerned about when he realizes he doesn't imprint on Bella.

Already we had Chekov's Gun: Jacob hasn't imprinted which means that it will always be a loose end until he does. At some point in the series he will imprint and it will not be on Bella.

And given all that build up to Jacob wanting it to be Bella so badly, as well as the Claire/Quil subplot, and everyone else imprinting...

I think it was always going to be Renesmee. He was always doomed to be tied into the family and for Meyer this was always the ideal dream solution like where you're playing dolls and all the dolls marry all the other dolls and now they're a big happy family and everyone's related.

Adding to this, the love triangle was one of those hilarious love triangles where you know who the author's going to pick immediately. Twilight, Bella dates Edward. New Moon, Bella's very sad over Edward and considers Jacob for 0.02 seconds before dumping him because Edward's back. Eclipse, Jacob asks Bella to dump Edward and she says no the entire novel then marries Edward. Breaking Dawn, Bella marries Edward.

Jacob was never made a competitive option for Bella and it was always clear, the entire time, I'm sorry guys but it was hilariously clear she was going to pick Edward. Always.

Which meant that while Jacob needed a clean exit from the love triangle I... also don't think he was in the love triangle for Meyer. Sort of, yes, but I honestly think that's the weird set up that Jacob later quotes in canon of "Oh, Bella, I was totally into you because I was going to imprint on your vampire baby in the future. This makes so much sense."

... Does it Jacob? Does it?

I think Renesmee and Renesmee/Jacob was always the plan and everything else was just set up to get there.

(Worth noting, though I don't know too much about it, is Forever Dawn which was the book Meyer pitched after Twilight to her publishers which is essentially the plot of Breaking Dawn with a few tweaks.

It should be taken with a bit of a grain of salt as it was never published and I'm personally dubious of whatever copies people say they have floating about or what concepts were leaked, but nevertheless we seem to have a lot of the same stuff.

Bella still gets pregnant and marries Edward. Jacob still imprints on Renesmee. The Volturi still show up as the big bad. Victoria is still a major player (though this time takes on the role of Irina the nark).

This, of course, points to Renesmee/Jacob always being the endgame rather than the solution Meyer happened upon for the love triangle problem.)

But at the end of the day, I'm guessing too, and the best I can really do is shrug and say who knows with that one.

[codename-mango]

Returning!Rocco

Rocco shifted in his chair uncomfortably. The cool morning air, the sun beginning to warm the earth, the gentle breeze through his unruly hair should've calmed him. And he tried to let it. However, the thoughts that gently swirled around his head since being sent home were now a hurricane.

He stood up and started to pace. Maybe getting his blood pumping a bit would help?

Why wasn't she here yet? Rocco started to fear that maybe she had already seen him and turned around and left. The producers assured him that she wouldn't, and simply couldn't, refuse this date. But maybe that makes this so much worse. Maybe picking her was a huge mistake. Maybe coming back was a huge mistake.

He asked a camera man how long he had been waiting at that table. It felt like an eternity. It had only been fifteen minutes.

Rocco paced for a minute longer, before settling down to sit on the grass. He crossed his legs, and rested his hands, palms up, on his knees. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing.

No more thoughts. No more Villa. No more cameras. Just him... Existing...

"Rocco?"

His eyes flew open and he was met with the sight of her; the woman he had to leave behind.

"MC!" He scrambled to his feet and adjusted his hair and clothes. He winced at the realization that sitting on grass covered in morning dew was a terrible idea, and tried not to groan at the realization that she came up the hill to witness him meditating.

"Classic Rocco," she said. With her delicate smile, Rocco dared to hope it was affectionate.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," he said sheepishly.

After a moment's hesitation, she closed the distance between them and hugged him. He could tell he wasn't out of the woods yet, but her touch alleviated a painful weight on his heart. Once again, the world disappeared around him, but this time, he had her. It felt right.

But the tranquility didn't last forever, as she pulled away.

"You look good," she said.

"You do too. Like, really good."

"Not as poetic as I remember," she teased.

Rocco laughed. "I... worry that might have been part of my problem the first time around. Too romantic for my own good."

MC's smile faltered. She nodded and looked away.

"Yeah, that's probably what it was..."

Rocco didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. He should've written everything he wanted to say beforehand. But nooo he had to trust his heart on this. Nevermind the fact that his head was refusing to form words.

MC looked back at him and gestured towards the table. They both took their seats, and Rocco started pouring her a glass of champagne. It was half-full before he caught himself.

"I'm sorry, I should've asked if you wanted this-"

"It's okay! I was going to get it anyway. Uh, thank you."

"You're welcome," he mumbled as he finished pouring.

"I'm surprised you didn't invite Marisol."

And there it was. It hurt, but he knew he deserved it. At least he was prepared for this part.

"I'll pull her for a chat later on. But I didn't want her to get the wrong idea..."

"And what idea might that be?" MC said, careful not give anything away by her voice.

"I'm not here to break up Marisol and Graham. My personal opinions aside, she seems happy with him." Rocco swallowed. "And you seem happy with your partner. The difference is..."

He trailed off, and MC leaned forward. "Is...?"

"... I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. About what we could've had."

"We did have it, in case you've forgotten."

"We had something, but I think that we could've had something real if-"

"So what we had wasn't real?"

Panic.

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

Panic.

"What I meant was- was that I- uh-"

"Rocco..."

Panic.

"Can I start over? I really need you to know where my head's at, but I know I've already fucked this train of thought."

MC's frown softened. She sat back and waved her hand.

"I'm the type of person who says you need to be true to yourself. And before, I thought it was enough. I could still be happy with myself at the end of the day, because at the end of the day, I was honest. But I wasn't as honest as I should've been. I wasn't honest about how insecure Lucas and Henrik made me feel, and I wasn't honest about my feelings for Marisol... I wasn't honest with either of us. I didn't tell you that I was thinking about Marisol until after we kissed during the challenge. And it wasn't until I left that I realized Marisol and I were mainly into each other because we were both insecure."

"You could've told me you were feeling insecure," she said. "We could've talked through it, I could've..." She trailed off and stared at her hands.

"I know. I should've known after I talked to you about uni that you were someone I could trust. Someone I could be vulnerable with. But when you had both new guys thirsting after you..."

Her expression quickly darkened.

"I was worried you'd leave me for someone who's actually confident because I was only pretending to be."

"Next time, don't make assumptions. Just talk to me."

"... There's going to be a next time?" Rocco said, smiling.

She rolled her eyes. He was just about to give up, just about to apologize for dragging her out of bed for this, when she said,

"If you want me, you have your work cut out for you."

"I don't expect any different."

[gear-project]

Annon-Guy: Sorry if I already asked this, but what are your thoughts on Tsundere's, including the ones who comically attack their love interest? They tend to get a lot of hate for being "abusive". Example: Kagome from Inuyasha.

GP Mini-rant on Manga ahead: Readers HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I'm actually not very fond of Romcoms (Romantic Comedies) in terms of my personal tastes.

There have been stories like Seto no Hanayome (My Bride is a Mermaid) which takes abuse of the male protagonist to the extreme… and sometimes I have to wonder if there is some disconnect between people who understand men versus people who are fans of the female gender in Japanese Culture.

You have this "idea" where women are the dominant force in all relationships in the manga writing, be it Tsundere, Kuudere, Yandere, Yuri etc…

And counter to all this you have all these reincarnation stories where the male protagonist dies and gets reincarnated with god-like powers to dominate his own harem as an act of "revenge" against the women (mostly) who wronged him.

While I do like some elements in Fantasy stories (and even Harem stories on occasion)… like I said, there is a huge disconnect between Japanese culture and more realistic relationships out there, which suggests to me that Men or Male culture in Japan is highly diminished and separated from real interactions with women.

I'd also argue it's not all that different here in America, and let's not even dive in to the sub-categories of gender preference that people have enforced these days.

Rather, the traditional concepts of romance or even marriage and family has been tossed in the gutter, if not forgotten altogether by modern culture and beliefs if you ask me.

Maybe there are a "few" stories and manga/anime out there that claim to embody the genre "slice of life"… But which slice of WHOSE life? What's "normal" anymore?

I'm not saying that it's all bad or inconsistent writing, or even that the manga out there isn't worth reading… some stories are REALLY GOOD… But I am saying that a lot of it is unrealistic and not very wholesome to readers without understanding the underlying culture as context.

There's different ideas of what is "funny" or "humor" and minor differences in culture without any explanation can really transform a joke between friends in to a controversial offensive debate.

Inuyasha (and its spinoffs) have been around for many MANY years… so that brand of gag humor is consistent with the author themselves, but a lot of that humor is better expressed in the manga, rather than how it is interpreted in the Anime adaptations… especially considering the idea that Kagome's relationship with Inuyasha is much more seriously expressed in the Anime itself… (you can actually see this expressed more in the sequel to Inuyasha: Hanyo no Yashahime, particularly when the girls encounter their parents who legitimately love their children despite being half-demon).

It's somewhat like trying to explain Tsukkomi and Boke/Manzai comedy to people who don't get why it's funny (and even then, you can't guarantee that that brand of humor would be considered "funny" to some people).

Well… at the end of the day, there's manga you like and manga you DON'T like… and that applies to everyone.

I've got my share of reading lists, and not everyone likes what I read (in fact I often see a lot of people dropping the manga I read sometimes).

What this all boils down to is that if you want to find a type of character (male or female) that you "like", sometimes you won't find it in some cultures.

For example… if I were to describe my "ideal romance"…:

The woman is aggressive and passionate but also respectable and honest with herself… and the relationship is healthy and still reasonable (meaning they do consider marriage as a prospect in the future and don't take things too far unless their intentions are to stay together).

The man is adaptive, also reasonable, understanding, but also has his own standards but isn't particularly portrayed as perverse or obsessed with the female gender, rather he'd be "obsessed" with the person he falls in love with and have wholesome and healthy reasons for that.

The relationship wouldn't lean entirely on the man for support OR the woman… and you'd actually GET to see what a healthy relationship is like for a potentially-married couple. The responibilities and burdens both sides have… and how they support and help one another in a realistic setting.

If the manga story I've just described rings any bells to you, GOOD, that means there's still people out there who understand what realistic romance is like!

Well anyway… that's enough discussion on THAT topic… But well.. I do like my weird subgenres… reincarnation god mangas, super harems, monster girls, and other ODD stories… but well, even if they ARE unrealistic, at least a few stories have the sense of self-awareness to point that out to readers (I've seen a few good harem stories actually DO that with the struggles each female character HAS inside the Harem).

Part of the reason I read Harem genre is "because" it's complex, like a juggling act, and history has shown poligamy to be this mystical concept few people comprehend in romance because of our basic selfish nature to want to be FIRST in our significant others' thoughts.

Well that's it for now… If you ask me though, there's not enough Mecha and Science-fiction genre manga out there, emphasis on the SCIENCE.

[ikeafleshlight]

reading what you wrote back in '21 is another type of pain. i cant quite put it to words. honestly, words would do it an injustice. i wish i had been the person i am now back then. but i wasn't. and now we're back at being strangers.

i told my best mate the truth. i would have opened my arms to you without second thought. it'd be instinctual. you, all your words and the way i can imagine you speak them right to me.

i know that once i'm in love again, i'll be fucked. because i won't make the same mistakes. that's an amazing thing, isn't it? yet here i sit and wonder why it feels like a gaping hole to no longer love you. i was an idiot right 'til the end, emi. i think the only thing i have ever been truly disappointed by when it comes to you is how you didn't tell me i was one. even at the end, you called my friends immature. why couldn't you call me and just yell? i know it's selfish, but it was exactly what i needed. you yelling and telling me how all the shit i've ever done has affected you.

sorry for being a jerk at the end. my grandma was dying too, you know. now my father's close to kicking the bucket. i wish i was more of a person, more of a man. more of the kind of thing you feel safe with.

we're adults now. fucking weird. strangers. i'm 20 and i've already forgotten your last name. it was pretty, i know that. half as pretty as the nickname i gave you on impulse. i think it might'vw been etched into my very bones. all over - they say your nickname. someday they'll probably be gone. but they'll be appreciated until then.

i started playing Valortant. you were right, i would like it. i like it very much.

i know my mom is proud. but i never got to tell her about you. and that somehow makes her pride mean less to me. i'm better now. nothing like who i was. it saddens me that i went back to old, unhealthy habits out of fear and frustration when we spoke again. all because of such a silly thing as love.

i don't know where all this love will go when i get over you. maybe it'll meet the love you let go of. maybe they'll be friends again. i'm sorry i still think about you. i don't mean to. i just think the last of this love needs to realize you're never coming back into my life.

i'm sorry i left. i couldn't handle it. all my friends told me i needed to. they saw how shit i had become. i didn't blame you. i was just so, so very sad over your decisions and the circumstances that made you not be able to talk to me. talk genuinely. just let the words pour. i'm sorry i clung onto that until the very end.

my borderline ass couldn't handle it i guess. it just made my brain scream all the time. and you were with him. and the screenshots you sent me? they made me want to throw up. i hope you're happy now. better at least. and that you ripped down that god-awful wall. Daichi and Meme are gone. you and i are gone. and emmia was always a pretty bad nickname.

[slapegg]

Some thoughts about… Like A Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name

Some thoughts about… Like A Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name LaDGTMWEHN! Yakuza 6.5? Or just how about… That New Yakuza Game

It's back to the brawly Yakuza type games! LaD1 had its RPG fun and I absolutely hated the Judgment games, so it's good to be back in Kiryu's shoes! …Because I've totally forgotten all the bad and frustrating parts of the brawler games and Gaiden is very happy to reintroduce me to them.

The game's beginning has a good sense of mystery for who the new characters are, but before the end of the first chapter, you'll find out where in the franchise story this game is taking place and you'll immediately know where it's all heading and everything kind of falls apart. Just about everything could have been avoided if Kiryu and Bad Guy 1 just stopped trying to out-aggressive each other. There's a scene where they sit down and talk to each other and you as a Like A Dragon player know what both sides want, but they're both acting like jerks so everything falls apart. Kiryu's being aggressive and not listening to the bad guy and the bad guy is being super aggressive and not explaining his plan. And that's a large chunk of this game's story. Characters being cryptic, not listening to each other, or testing each other for kind of no reason outside of generating fake drama for end of chapter cliffhangers. The ending of 6 was pointless. Everybody immediately knows who Kiryu is and that the story of his death was bunk. And I mean just about everybody. Kiryu doesn't use a disguise, change his hair, anything. He's hilariously bad at playing dead. The only person that doesn't know Kiryu is still alive? Daigo. Because Daigo remains the absolute dumbest and most useless mob boss ever. With Kiryu gone, how has somebody not just walked up to Daigo's HQ, laid out a trail of candy leading to a box, and trapped Daigo in said box?! Our new tale start off in Yokohama, parallel to Ichiban's story in Like a Dragon. They straight up put Kiryu next to Nanba and Ichiban's tent with them inside but prevent you from interacting. They have a cheesy reason why the owner of the Survive bar isn't around that day so Kiryu can't recognize him. But none of it feels natural or adds anything to Kiryu or Ichiban's stories. Outside of getting Kiryu to LaD's big reveal moment, which was covered sufficiently in LaD, nothing here expands on LaD's story, provides new revelations, or reframes what you've already seen. You now know where Watase got his suit he was wearing during the big speech. Exciting? Gaiden also has probably the least interesting "main" villain the series has ever had. He has no personality other than "he's evil", he barely has any connection to Kiryu and what connection he does have is a pointless reference, and he's barely involved with any of the game until a flourish of action at the end and even then he's mostly sitting back and sending minions after you. This series is usually so good about making its antagonists interesting. You have people with deep connections to Kiryu in Yakuza 1, people that are dark mirrors of Kiryu in Yakuza 2, or just world class jerks that you love to hate in Yakuza 0. Then there's this guy and… I kind of forgot he existed for half the game. The second "main" bad guy at least has some personality and an attempt at a motivation, but I likewise felt very little about having to face off against him or his reveals. But I will hand it to the game, "Continue the Debauchery" is probably one of the greatest missions prompts I've ever been given. The series is always at its funniest when it takes these yakuza bad asses and makes them the most lovable losers, like weeping over being given a halfway decent meal. Complaints about the story, yes, but The Ending! We'll talk about that later in a non-spoilery way, but man… The Ending…

Despite being a shorter game, Gaiden really delays the exploration. Every time you think you'll be able to explore, they lock the streets down and take you to a new place automatically. You think you're ready to start engaging with the main secondary gameplay loops, well too bad! Go back to the main location because we said so.

There are lots more enemies in combat this time around. It's pretty danged impressive they got so many active characters on screen for a PS4 game without any performance issues. I had resigned myself to expecting that this was really just a PS5 game that would chug along on my base level PS4, but this thing runs great. But gameplay-wise, the extra enemies ares bad. The prior gameplay was already bad about trying to get Kiryu to focus on a single enemy and now there are more of them. Good luck trying to pick up weapons on the ground or focus on a particular high threat target because Kiryu will zip around the field to grapple with an enemy you can't grapple instead of picking up something at his feet or fly past everybody to attack nothing rather than the enemy in front of him or you'll burn a Heat move on a mook enemy instead of the guy aiming a gun at you. The camera is in really close so you wind up getting hit from behind a lot, and you'll have to spend a lot of time in fights fiddling with the camera trying to keep everybody on screen. There are really twitchy physics in fights now. It doesn't really affect gameplay, but expect a lot of terrible ragdolling, enemies stuck in objects, trying to pick up a big weapon (like a potted plant) and that sending Kiryu spinning around, or just Kiryu popping up into the air a bit because he touched something on the ground. Kiryu can't block for nuthin' any more. Every other enemy attack breaks his block and enemy attacks seem to magnetize to you, so even if you dodge them, they still hit. This led to me ignoring a lot of features with new moves and equipment to focus on the few things I knew usually worked. In Yakuza fighting style, just use the charged light punch; it gives you a bit of super armor and breaks enemy blocks. In Agent style, just use the grappling wire and punch people on the ground or use the running punch. Use Heat moves on bosses. That solves the vast, vast majority of fights in this game. Gadgets in Agent style should have been the big change to combat but they're kind of useless for the majority of the game. With how long it takes to activate the gadgets, their limited use versus just punching a dude makes them a waste of time. Sometimes they just don't activate. Am I not holding the button down long enough or are they not working? They only seem to work if you're standing totally still. You know standing still, the thing you're usually doing in a fight, right? You can't string them together or do fun combos with them because of that. In cutscenes, Kiryu does all kinds of fun things with the grappling wire, but in combat it can only toss grunt enemies or grab items (when the game feels like it and probably not the item you intended to grab; sure I was aiming at that sword on the ground but grab that traffic cone instead, thanks).

Your inventory changed again too. You can't carry weapons around anymore. It's purely down to whatever is on the ground or an enemy drops. Instead of having a total item count limit, you're limited on how many of each specific item you can hold. No more stocking up on an inventory full of the best energy drink, but now you can have dozens of lesser energy drinks and food. It doesn't seem to matter in the end from a balance perspective because there are so many different kinds of food items that you can still just gluttony your way to victory, so it's a weird change. I steadfastly refuse to accept the idea that Kiryu would drink Mountain Dew. Product placement has gone too far!

The Cabaret is back, but it's not the fun one from Yakuza 0 where you're running the business as the manager, it's the lame one where you go on fake dates as a customer. Only now they're live action scenes with bad audio so it's extra creepy. The only draw to the mode seems to be that they hired a famous Vtuber as one of the models, but other than her mentioning she does streaming on the side and her slipping into the voice a few times, I'd have never known that was Coco as the actress. But I don't follow any Vtubers so I'm guessing I'm not the target demographic here? And again, I steadfastly refuse to accept the idea that Kiryu understands what streaming is. Product placement has gone too far!

Being a small game, Gaiden pads out its run time by forcing you to do side stuff to progress in the story. The Coliseum is mandatory and you have to do side stories to raise your Akame Network rank in the main city. It just features pointless padding to artificially extend the length of the game. The grind is on the slow side and not particularly fun because the things you have to do to raise your rank are mostly fetch quests with lousy rewards. Money and Network points are real slow to gain and upgrades are expensive so you stay weak for a long time. Getting enough Network points to buy enough stat and gadget upgrades takes longer than the game's actual storyline. If the whole point of this is to be a small side story to link 6 and 7, why force the grind by padding your numbers out? You'll be stuck doing the same Coliseum battle over and over just to make money if you want to see all the fighters you can hire, try the different costumes, upgrade all your gadgets, or upgrade all your stats. Some example numbers. The highest paying short and repeatable Coliseum fight pays out 3 million yen. The highest tier of health upgrades totals 30 million yen. The highest tier of attack upgrades totals another 30 million yen. It costs 30-40 million to hire all the fighters you don't get from substories. The best piece of equipment costs around 50 million yen. You're required to spend a million yen each just to complete some of the basic quests. And that's ignoring all the other dozens of upgrades you can buy, dozens of other pieces of gear or cosmetics, and dozens of lower tier fighters. So yeah, not a great grind. For the activity log, the numbers are super padded out. Take 100 photos, but you only need to actually do maybe 10 for the story and quests, so you have to waste another 90 pictures. Win 30 Tournament class fights in the Coliseum, but there are only 12 different fights so you're going to repeat them multiple times.

Substories are super verbose and not really funny. There are a few fun ones, but they mainly just go on for too long for too little payoff. Kiryu does finally have a bit of genre awareness about his quests now. He's been through this enough times that when a lady invites him up to a hotel room, he now knows it's a scam from the start. Still hasn't learned to chase down a villain slowly hobbling away from the scene, but Kiryu's getting there. Stroll N Patrol tasks for your basic missions are very fetch quest-y. Usually, you have to run to a point, take a picture, and then run back to the person that gave you a quest. Or, the person wants a specific kind of food so you have to go to shops until you find it and then run back to the person. A person wants to see you wear a specific outfit, so you run to a taxi, load into the second city, run to the Boutique, change your clothes, run back to the helicopter, load to the first city, run back to the mission giver, collect your paltry payout, run back to the taxi, load back to second city, run to the Boutique, change out of the awful oufit and back to your normal one, run back to the helicopter, and load back to the first city (there are multiple quests that require this process and the Boutique in the second city is the only place you can change Kiryu's outfit despite having two bases in the first city). The sort of filler thing that pads out the game but doesn't do anything meaningful. The payouts are usually bad too. You'll do a task for somebody and get paid less for the quest than what you earned from winning one of the four street fights you got into along the way. Or you get paid less than it cost to complete the quest. A person wanted to see a particular outfit, that outfit costs 1 million yen, and your reward for completing the quest… 75K yen. You can get requests before you're actually able to finish them. Some of them are kind of vague so you don't know if you're not figuring out the request properly or if that thing just isn't available yet or you're locked out of because the story has restricted you to a specific time of day/location.

Karaoke is weirdly hard in this one. I was getting 95s and 99s in Like a Dragon and here I'm struggling to hit 90 for the quests. The controls for Pool are still garbage. Trying to identify pieces in Shogi still requires digging through menus. The casino games still beg the question of why you're playing casino games in a non-casino game game. Pocket Circuit's back though. The core gameplay is the same but the shop is a pain now. Instead of buying parts with money, everything costs a unique currency you can only get by winning races. So if you buy the wrong parts and need to respec your car, you might not be able to even afford the parts you need to win the next race to get points. You can't sort the shop and all the parts are jumbled together, so it's frustrating to try to compare similar parts because they're spread out in the store. You can't check what you own in the parts store or buy parts from the car customization screen, so you need to walk back and forth between the race lady and the parts guy to check things out. It was so much easier when parts just cost money because you came back at the end of the game, bought everything in one purchase, and then the customization menu is grouped by part type. You knew you owned everything and like parts were grouped so they were easy to compare. Is your car falling off the track because your build is bad or just because RNG is screwing with you, well now it's hard to experiment so it's going to be that much worse.

LaDGTMWEHN isn't a bad game, it's just feels… unnecessary? Unfulfilling? If you're just a fan of the RPG style of LaD and you're thinking of trying this one because it ties into Ichiban's story, I'd probably say to ignore it. This is for people that played Yakuza 0-6 and just want one more brawler out of Kiryu. It's not Yakuza 5 levels of bad, but I'd place it around the "worse than Yakuza 2/around the level of Yakuza 3" level on my grand scale of things. Middling main story, middling substories, and worse combat, plus slow progression from padded upgrade/inventory costs. If you wait for a deep sale and go into it expecting nothing more than nostalgia/fan service for the franchise, you're in the right headspace for it. If you go in expecting more, you're going to be disappointed.

But the ending! The writing, the animation. Just absolutely knocked it out of the park. Between this ending and LaD's, they are nailing these dramatic endings full of the best animated ugly crying you have seen. To put Kiryu in a situation that is both so kind and so emotionally devastating and to see that man just break down. You are a monster if you don't tear up at the end.

Some bonus thoughts on… Infinite Wealth demo The story hook is okay but not particularly exciting. Ichi is looking for his mom, who we were already told was dead in the first game, but now she's not. Kind of retroactively makes her story from the first game less interesting. And seeing that Kiryu is stuck just doing another mission hurts the ending of Gaiden. The voice acting is really bad! Ichi is awesome again, but holy cow, who approved that new voice for Kiryu!? It's terrible! I know it's some Youtuber I'd never heard of before, but c'mon. The villain in the demo is really bad too. You hear Ichi speak and it's "ah yes, that's a voice actor" and then Kiryu or the bad guy speak and the gap in quality is through the roof. LaD1 had an absolutely stellar cast, what happened? Here's to hoping I can assemble the old crew and ignore the new ones? Or maybe a mixed audio where I can make the old cast use English voices and the new cast use Japanese? This is seriously dampening my desire to play the game. Who wants to play an RPG that's dozens of hours long if you don't want to listen to the characters speak? They seemed to have made the combat system more complicated but not necessarily better. Lots more buttons to press. So many features seem dependent on character positioning and what you're near but within a few seconds, everybody has moved around so it seems like a bonus thing that's neat when it happens but would be too much of a hassle to plan around. I already found scavenging items on the map tedious by the end of the demo. Briefcases, stuff under cars, stuff in dumpsters, shaking trees, items on the ground. The city looks huge too. A big thing I loved about the Yakuza games was how compact the city was. They took an open world map and squished it down to a few city blocks so everything was super dense and exciting. But this just seems like a regular open world map now. The new Crazy Delivery mini game isn't fun. The trick system is annoying. I thought it would be more Crazy Taxi but it's mainly picking up items and doing tricks with a lot of starting and stopping. All in all, nothing really sold me on needing to play the game. I 100%'d LaD1 and played through the story mode twice, but this demo left me feeling pretty uninterested. I'm sure I'll play it eventually, but it kind of seems like a wait a year for a deep sale deal rather than a must play.