#I've been feeling old since I turned 30 but thanks anyway

[vbecker10]

As Long as You Love Me

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: You've been Loki's only friend since he joined the Avengers and you are trying to hide your growing crush on him since you doubt he feels the same. One night, Loki accidentally catches you singing in the kitchen when you think you are alone and you let it slip that the song reminds you of him.

Warnings: Trying to go for fluff only but there is a little bit of Loki feeling like no one will love him after what happened with Odin, Laufey and Thanos

A/N: Do not judge me for this song choice... because I don't care lol. Every once in a while I still listen to the Backstreet Boys even though in my mid-30s. I thought the song just fit really well with Loki so here we are. Also, I needed something short and fluffy to get me out of my writing slump. Hope you all enjoy this 💚

Thanks @animnerd for letting my bounce this is off of you 💚

"Popcorn time," you say to yourself as you close the microwave in the common kitchen and push the popcorn button. The bag starts to rotate and you move to lean your back against the island as you take your phone out of your pocket.

"Nope, nope, nope..." you hit skip on the next three songs that shuffle through your Playlist unaware that you are no longer alone in the kitchen.

Loki walks into the room, a smile quickly spreads across his face when he sees you. "Hello Y/N," he says from a few feet behind you. His smile fades slightly when you don't respond but then he notices you're wearing your earbuds.

You hum, putting your phone down on the counter next to you as the next song starts, still not realizing that Loki is watching you. Raising the volume slightly louder, you drown out the sound of your midnight snack popping. You begin to lip sync, bopping your head with the rhythm of the song. As the song continues, you start to sing out loud without meaning to.

Every little thing that you have said and done

Feels like it's deep within me

Doesn't really matter if you're on the run

It seems like we're meant to be

I don't care who you are

Where you're from

What you did

As long as you love me

Who you are

Where you're from

Don't care what you did

As long as you-

The microwave beeps and you stop signing as you open the door and grab the bag. You turn back around and nearly drop your snack with a surprised yelp as you spot Loki standing on the other side of the island.

You take off your headphones quickly and he laughs as he apologizes, "Sorry, I tried to get your attention but you didn't hear me."

"You sure you weren't waiting there just to scare the crap out of me?" you joke and pause your music.

"If I was trying to scare you, you would know." He smirks, "Would you like me to show you?"

"Definitely not, I'm good, thanks," you laugh and shake your head, opening the bag.

"Stark is more fun to scare anyway," he says as he comes to stand next to you. "I had no idea you could sing," he adds.

You feel a bit confused then you realize you must have been singing outloud. "Oh, no," you shake your head and laugh. "I'm a horrible singer. I thought I was alone or I never would have subjected you to that."

"I liked it," Loki smiles genuinely.

"Liar," you taunt him and eat a few pieces of popcorn as you lean on the counter next to him.

He raises an eyebrow at you, "You know I never lie to you."

"So you're not a liar," you admit, knowing you are in fact the only person Loki never lies to. "But that just means we need to get your ears checked."

"I've never heard that song before," he changes the topic slightly.

"It's old-ish. I used to listen to it when I was a teenager," you tell him and he nods as he takes a handful of popcorn from the bag you're holding. "Do you mind?" you joke as you pull it away from him.

"No," he laughs, eatting the pieces he stole one at a time. "So why are you listening to it again?"

Without thinking, you answer, "It reminds me of you." You immediately look down at your feet as you shift awkwardly away from Loki.

"It does?" he asks and you can hear the surprise and confusion in his voice.

"Uh..." your brain tries to come up with a response but the only thing you can think of is the truth. "Yeah," is all you offer him as an explanation.

You can feel him shifting closer to but you don't look up at him, "Why is that?"

"Don't worry about it, it's just a stupid song," you try to end the conversation. "I've got to finish my laundry."

"If I'm not allowed to lie, neither are you," he reminds you and when you look up, you can tell you aren't escaping just yet.

You bite your lip and hope half of the truth will be enough to appease the God of Lies. "Okay... but just remember you asked," you sigh and he waits patiently for your answer. "Do you remember last month when we were talking about some of the stuff that happened before you joined the Avengers?"

He nods. It was a very long, difficult conversation that neither of you had planned on having. Loki had been acting more distant than usual all week and when you finally convinced him to talk to you, he opened up about how out of place and lonely he felt on Midgard. You tried your best to reassure him that the others on the team would become more welcoming to him once they got to know him better. He agreed half heartedly and followed up his comment by telling you that he barely deserved friends, let alone a partner after all he had done. You stayed with him most of the night, listening to all the things he blamed himself for and trying to remind him that none of what happened with Thanos was his fault.

"This song came on my Playlist randomly a few days later and I was thinking about the chours," you explain. "I don't care who you are, where you're from or what you did as long as you love me. It just kinda stuck with me that that's what you need. Someone who doesn't care that you're a Frost Giant from Jotunheim and knows that you didn't attack the city because you wanted to. Someone who accepts you for who you are."

"And where would I find someone like that?" he asks. His fingers gently stroke your cheek and you look up at him. He seems almost nervous as he smiles down at you.

You force a smile back through your nerves, "I've always accepted you Loki."

"I know you have darling," he says in a soft tone. The sudden use of the pet name makes you blush and when you try to look away, his fingers hook gently under your chin. Loki's eyes lock on yours as he says, "And I love you for it."

Your heart hammers against your ribcage as you try to process Loki's words. "You... what?" you ask, feeling shocked and confused and sure you misheard him.

He chuckles anxiously at your response, dropping his hand from your chin as you take a small step away from him, "I hadn't planned on you telling you this way..."

You stand in complete silence for a moment, trying to force yourself to admit to Loki that you've been in love with him for months. Your mouth opens but no sound comes out and Loki's smile fades completely.

"I understand that you don't feel the same, that's why I hadn't meant to tell you. Y/N, I don't want to lose your friendship, it means too much to me-" Loki's words are cut short when you put your hand on the back of his neck and pull his lips to yours.

In an instant, Loki kisses you back fiercely. His hands move to your lower back and he pulls your body flush to his as you drop the bag of popcorn but neither of you notice. After a few moments, you break from the kiss to catch your breath and let out a small giggle. "I love you too," you smile up at him, his hands still resting on your back.

"I was hoping that's what the kiss meant," he laughs then leans down to place a quick kiss on your lips.

You nod then rest your head on his shoulder, one of his hands moves to play with your hair gently. "That's my new favorite song," you say before placing a kiss on his neck and hugging him tightly.

"Mine too," Loki agrees with a light laugh.

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @mischief2sarawr @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-asgard @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv @glitterylokislut @biodegradable-glitter-fest @wolfsmom1 @simone818283 @hopefuldreamers-world @blackhawkfanatic @dracoswhorexx @anukulee @lovinglokilaufeyson

[sen-ya]

Life After Info Post

[Click here to access the Life After Digital Comic Book]

Summary: Two years ago, a viral outbreak rose the dead. Considering how his life had gone up to this point, surgeon Trafalgar Law figured this might as well happen too. When a supply run into the nearby city gets intercepted by a seemingly reckless and impulsive former patient, the dependable routine Law had settled into in this new life shatters. He finds himself exposed — his body out in the infected landscape, his conscious clawing to define what he believes is right, his heart begrudgingly deciding to find a new home on his sleeve. Maybe there’s more than a virus roaming the new world that can bring a dead man back to life.

Content Warnings: Canon typical violence, zombies/body horror (but lbr I am not good at making scary things look scary)

Relationships: Luffy x Law

Update Schedule: New page every Monday/Wednesday/Friday

Page Count: [37 posted | 55 drawn]

Latest Update: [7/21/24] WOWEE did I get myself carried away this morning. I just spent 5 hours organizing my comics and creating the digital comic book pages. I could have spent that time drawing or idk not doing what I do for my job, but I cannot be stopped. Anyway I blocked out 30 pages of this comic last week and they include the most intense action sequence I've ever done in my gotdang life. Wish me luck because I am nervous about tying down all my drawings lmao.

OLD UPDATES:

[6/29/24] HULLO! I'm doing so bad at keeping my masterposts updated lately I am sorry. All pages of life after are tagged life after if you're ever looking between masterpost updates! Also exciting update, I finally have figured out all the different plot points i'm gonna be hitting (yay!). I got hung up on something for awhile that made me not wanna work on this project, but I'm back at it. I think we'll end up with 6-7 parts! I have probably another 80-100 pages to draw lol. Also i got the app Magic Poser and it's AWESOME and I immediately used it to block out sets cuz MAN I hate backgrounds.

[6/10/24] HELLO. I'm sorry I've been shit at updating my masterposts lately. It's easiest to do from my computer, which I rarely use, and life has been happening. I also can't believe I bungled the queue and posted pg19 before pg18 i am very sorry 🤦 Eventually I'll have to turn this into an airtable base I'm sure, but until that day comes where I have like 100 pages of this comic we're stickin to the regular post lmao

[5/26/23] I got real caught up in doing summer of lawlu comics this week and this is the first week since the first week of April I haven't drawn new Life After pages and it feels weird 🙊

[5/19/24] More Luffy backstory comin' this week! :^)

[5/12/24] Updating now so get myself on schedule to update on Sundays like I had been with my other comic master post!

[5/8/24] Thank you to everyone who's liked/reblogged/comment on the first few pages!! It means the world to me that anyone's reading my silly little comics.

[4/28/24] HULLO. It’s happeninnng. I’ve spent the last few weeks working on this comic, and I gotta make this post so I can start queuing pages & link this in them! This is the most like….legit? Comic endeavor I’ve undertaken perhaps….ever. I’m very nervous about committing to how long it will need to be lol. This story is dear to my heart — zombie content is kind of my very favorite. I’ve always found it to be a great backdrop for exploring themes like grief, coping with change, community, and learning to live again. It’ll be a long haul but I hope you’ll ride it out with me!! Tomorrow I’ll be posting the first two pages. After that a page will post every Monday/Wednesday/Friday. As of this post I’ve completed over 20 pages so that I have a good lead on what’s posting and continuing to write, so I’m hopeful that’s a cadence I’ll be able to maintain. I’ll update this post weekly to include the most recent pages the way I do with my main comics master post. All pages will be tagged 'Life After' and I'll tag any pages with zombies in them with 'zombie' for blacklisting etc.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Hiya! It's me! I've been sending you so many asks that I wouldn't be surprised if you gave me a restraining order!

I made an account so I can actually participate in some of your rp things- if that's okay with you of course.

I sent you the ideas for the succubus, deadpool x wolverine and bimbo!au's, I sent others but I'd need to go through my memory, which would take all night.

Anyway- I have a new au idea for you! I think you'll like this. It's basically a gothic vampire!au.

I'm going to attach screen shots because I've already written it out and for some reason Tumblr doesn't let you copy and paste (it's already 1am where I am and I don't want to have to write this out all again, so I'm really sorry if this'll be annoying for you 😭).

Continuation--

Adam: it's rude to stare, you know. How did a kid get in here?

Lucifer jumped at his voice: I-I'm not a kid!- I'm 30 years old!

Adam: really dude? What are you? 5"3?... you didn't get the long straw when it came to genes, huh? See what I did there?

Lucifer sighs as the man chuckles to himself.

Lucifer: uh... that's... not important- a-are you the owner?

Adam stares at Lucifer for a few seconds before taking a sip from his glass. Lucifer watches his every move, he feels like prey- are those fangs??

Adam: I guess you can say that.. my names Adam. Even though I think the asshole who broke into my house should introduce themselves first- but I'm in a good mood today!

Adam stands and pulls a chair infront of him.

Adam: Here man, have a seat, might as well make yourself comfortable.

The way Adam smiled and watched his every move made Luicfer shiver. He walked as calmy as he could to the chair infront of Adam. He sits, eyes never leaving Adams deep red ones.

Lucifer: I'm Lucifer- and I apologize for the breaking and entering. It's uh, not the best first impression.

Adam: wait- Lucifer? Like the Devil? That's sick. And I'm not one for first impressions, but you've certainly made an entrance, buddy.

Lucifer: Yeah, like the Devil, blame my father for that one-

Adam: I ain't judging man! I think it's cool, everyone has such boring names these days, it's nice to be surprised, nothing surprises me much anymore.

Adam runs his clawed hand through his hair, eyes never leaving Lucifers face. He notices as his eyes travel down to his chest, where his shirt has opened a bit more. Adam smirks, leaning forward, giving Lucifer a better view.

Adam: I would offer you a drink, but I think you want something else~

----

That's all I have! I hope this seems interesting to you 😭

Feel free to continue it, I'll try and participate to! It would be my first time doing these rp type things, so I'm sorry if I'm a bit all over the place lol

Okay- bye!

Ahhh!! Thank you for all your amazing ideas friendo! This too is amazing 🤩

And yes of course you can participate in the rp blogs! What account is it?

-

Lucifer felt a little called out, this man was so good looking he felt like he was trapped in a trance.

Lucifer: I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-

Adam: Pfft it's fine, I get it. I know I'm hot shit and I don't mind you looking. In fact.

Adam leaned in closer until his hot breath ghosted over Lucifer's face.

Adam: I wouldn't mind you doing more than just looking.

He grinned at the way the blonde man's face turned bright red at the implication. Humans were always so easy to work up. And man this one was easy on the eyes as well.

It's been a while since Adam had a visitor. Even longer since he had a rendezvous.

[artist-issues]

You're my new favorite blog! You have no idea how I wish I could peck inside your brain like a chicken. 😭😂😂 I am a Catholic and a recovering agnostic. I struggle with letting go of my old way of life and philosophy constantly, I have been struggling with it since the day I decided to revert - that was back in 2017. (I think you would like to know my journey back to the Faith started after watching HBO's The Young Pope! 👌🏼) At this point I don't know if I'll ever be the person the Lord wants me to be, oh well, I'll die trying and I know that will mean something.

I just know I can't go back to being a non-believer, because as Carl Young said, now I don't just believe, I know. The irony is my struggle to believe in something I know to be objectively the Truth.

I have a question for you though, actually I hope for some advice from you. How do I reconcile with the reality that I haven't become who I dreamed to become (like career wise), but now that a new career has been shoved upon me (a career my parents wanted for me - and they valued safety and stability over "following my dreams" I suppose)? ...which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it is an extremely noble profession and it pays quite well.

The thing is, as much as I try to accept my new career, I keep telling myself and to others that I'm doing this for my parents and not because I want to be here. I feel terrible about it. But, again, it's not like I am unfulfilled (I am unhappy though, but that comes with the work culture/environment, I feel like I am surrounded by 40+ year old teenagers); as a matter of fact, I do think I know - objectively - in my heart that this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be? But I keep fighting against it, keep struggling against this sense of vocational calling that I'm feeling towards my new job, instead I desperately wanna give into my want to go "live the life I want." Like throw this all away, get new training and start all over with the career I wanted all those years ago.

I want to be better, to be sacrificial like Christ on the Cross. I've always known I had a little depression (comes with my disability from a young age and this whole dream thing); I have been suicidal over this, I actually used to joke with myself that I'd kill myself if I don't achieve my professional goals by the time I turned 25. I will turn 30 this September and even though I haven't been literally dead, I feel like I've been in a vegetative state - mentally - ever since the day I turned 25. I hope that makes sense.

I started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago since my mental health started affecting my new job - she did say I have depression and is trying to help me but I just don't know if I want to be helped at all, because I am unable to do the exercises she tells me (like create a routine, exercise well, write down good thoughts, etc.) I feel like I'm failing myself, my parents and, most importantly, my Heavenly Father.

I apologise if this is nonsensical, I apologise for dumping all of this on you - random stranger on the internet - but idk I felt like maybe you'd have something wise to tell me to knock some sense into me (without a bump to prove it hehe).

Thank you and God bless! 🥰

You’re very kind, and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to share all this with me! I really never have anything good of my own to say, or any wisdom to offer, except what I “steal” from God…and I guess what I mean is, if I ever say anything helpful or good or true, I’m just the messenger. I didn’t come up with it. On my own I have zero wisdom or good things to offer.

Anyway, I was surprised reading this because I have gone through (been going through) a similar sort of mindset. I went to school for the career I dreamed about (still dream about) and I worked hard and I wanted it more than anybody around me (very Mike Wasowski in MU of me) and it hasn’t happened the way I planned, or in my timetable.

I mean, in all humility: I work with a studio making a tv show, but it hasn’t got off the ground yet, and I work for a company that writes movie reviews, but neither of those things pay my bills. I have a third job, working with therapists, that’s nothing like what I always wanted to do. That’s my “career,” but it’s not the career I’m passionate about and working toward. And I wonder if I’ll ever do anything “major” in the line of work I love and went to school for. And when I do, I have gotten into some really dark mental places.

Forgive me for not using the words “depression” or “suicidal.” I hate using those words because they’re overused and romanticized and flooding the culture. But more importantly I hate using them because the only thing I identify with is Christ, not any mental struggle I try to slither back into, like a snake trying to put back on old skin. I’m not my overthinking—I’m not my depression—I’m not my suicidal thoughts or emotions—I am one with Christ. Those are things inside me that are defeated and dead—the teeth have been knocked out of them. They just gum me from time to time. So I want you to know I empathize with you, but that’s my point and that’s how I want to answer you:

The only thing about you that really matters is Christ.

Who He says you are, what He has done and how He lived, which is applied to you because He said it is, by grace alone, through faith alone. No matter how you feel.

And I say that to you, as the answer, because I think you and I focus too much on what could be and what “should be” as if God has a set path for us, and if we don’t figure out what it is and walk it, we’ll have a less-fulfilling life. “If I stay at my therapy job and just work with teenagers and write on my blog for the rest of my life, I’ll be fine, but I won’t be as good as I could be.” Or for you. “If I stay in this career I’m in, the one my parents backed me into, I’ll make it, I’ll be fine, but I’ll never be as happy as I want to be.” We’re both thinking, every once in a while, “This is career is what God wants for me, and all my misery is coming from not submitting to it, and if I could just wrestle my contentment into place and give up the thing I want, and submit to what God wants, I’d be fulfilled.”

But how do we know any of those thoughts are true? How do we know God wants us in these boring old careers we wouldn’t have chosen—didn’t choose? Or, how do we know these boring old careers are what we’re stuck in because we didn’t take the plunge and work harder for our “dreams,” which were what He really wanted us to do? How do we know either of those things?

We don’t. We don’t get to know. That’s the point.

Because that’s not how God works. Not from what I can tell in the Bible.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”. Colossians 3:17.

Whatever you do. Not “the one specific thing you figure out He wants you to do.”

My mom described it to me once when I was in a really dark place trying to figure out what He wanted me to do, paralyzed with indecision, afraid He wanted me to do something I just didn’t want to do, like this: “God doesn’t hold out one flower and say, ‘this is the one I want you to have, so you can either take it or take something worse.’ God makes a field of flowers, and He says, ‘Which one do you want? Pick one, and do it with excellence for Me.’ Then just trust Him to make it good.”

It sounds like you’re in a career, but you are wrestling with whether or not to pick it, now that you have some autonomy as an adult, or to pick starting over. Well. Pick one. Just pick one. And trust God to take care of you. Trusting God looks like thinking it through with excellence, then making the decision—and making the decision means letting go of worrying about the thing you didn’t pick. “Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ.” Once you make a choice, make it all the way, and don’t let your mind wander anymore to “what if this blows up in my face? What if I should’ve stayed back there at the crossroads, or gone down the other path?” It’s going to be hard and God is going to take care of you, no matter what you pick. So don’t let your mind go to those places where you worry; acknowledge the worry, and every time, ask God to help you remember that He’s got you.

Because here’s the point, here’s the thing: He does have you. Because ultimately, your career really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Neither does your dream. Not ultimately. And now I’ll say “our” because I need to hear it too. Our dreams and careers are not the point of us, and our dreams and careers are not what God means when He says “I’ll take care of you.”

What He means is, “I’ve already taken care of you.” Because the most important thing isn’t our job or our dream. The most important thing is, we’ve been rescued out of eternally being trapped in our broken desires, and now we get to live for Christ, Who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That’s the major. And that truth is where our fulfillment is supposed to come from, what our lives are meant for, our purpose. As long as we pick one, and do it with excellence to make the name of Jesus famous, with that goal in mind, we’ll be emotionally fulfilled. We’ll be satisfied. Because that’s the goal. Not making movies, or whatever it is you want to do. Not having secure means of living. Just…living our lives to make who Jesus is famous. We can do that wherever.

So then the choice? It becomes a minor, not a major, and the pressure of “will I be happy?” is off, because happiness isn’t found in that stuff. And whenever I forget, and start looking for happiness in my dreams, goals, career, that’s when it all starts to feel dark and stressful and hard and crushing. Because it was never meant to give me happiness or fulfillment—that’s a need only Christ can fulfill.

Don’t misunderstand me. He cares what you do. He cared about every decision you make, and He does have a plan. But that’s going to happen anyway. So just pray, consider which option is a) wise to go for and takes care of the responsibilities God has entrusted you with, b) which option you genuinely want, when your wants are not influenced by fears, and then c) step out and do it in faith. And do it with the mindset of, “I’m doing this, and I’m not thinking about the alternative if I can help it, and I’m also not putting all my happiness-eggs in this basket, because even if it crashes and burns, hey, I’m still one with Christ and I can still make Him famous no matter what road my career goes down.”

I hope this helps. It’s a subject I’m hamster-wheeling around in my mind right now a lot—but when I just fix my eyes on Christ and think about how the most important things, the things that give real joy and happiness, are already and forever taken care of and I can’t mess them up—then can get off the hamster wheel and enjoy the life He’s given me, right now, today, without worrying about the future.

[poughkeepsies]

okay twist my arm here's my fic rec list

category: the most underrated fics that have never once left my mind since I first read them and I genuinely think about at least every few weeks in no particular order

(disclaimer that this list does not include a great majority of my beloveds' works but that's because I picked at random from the list of at least 30 that I've compiled over the past few days)

Tell Me Anything - AnnaNSmith/@annansmith - 5.3k

“Hey, Eddie?”

Buck’s voice rings softly in the quiet. A casual lilt on his tongue as he says his name.

“Hm?”

“Tell you something?”

Shrugging, Eddie keeps his eyes fixed at the ceiling above him.

“We got time.”

--

Or, how Buck shattered Eddie's entire world one night by confessing his love to him.

2. shout if you want my heart - hattalove / @hattalove - 5.8k

“I’m not even in the neighborhood of mad,” he says, instead of vomiting any of the thousand feelings warring inside him. “But Buck. This would’ve—this took you hours.”

“I’m good at multitasking,” Buck says, and Eddie can practically hear him shrugging over the phone. “I did all the cooking after I put Chris to bed, and then I got up a little earlier to get the cleaning and laundry done. It was nothing.”

Eddie’s starting to suspect he’ll have to wait for Buck to come back to make him understand that, actually, it kind of was everything.

or, eddie has a tupperware-induced emotional crisis.

3. find a way to you (if it kills me) - foxwatson / @eddiediazes - 19.5k

It’s something about the way Eddie phrases it. Something about the combination of his words and the way he’s staring down at the floor, and the flush in his cheeks and the way he’s fidgeting. Buck thinks, abruptly, he’s going to ask me on a date.

“Well I - wanted to tell you first, and I need someone to watch Chris, anyways - I know he’s getting old enough now he doesn’t like feeling like he’s got a babysitter, so I was hoping - sorry. Not the point. Uh. I have a date on Saturday.”

Just as abruptly as his own hopes had come soaring up above the cloud cover of his own unawareness - they go crashing back down to the floor - to the basement, and into the mud. “A date?” Buck rasps out.

or - the one where eddie decides to start dating again, buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief

4. Finding Home - S_lycopersicum / @slycopersicum-in-disguise - 4.4k

"Buck!" Eddie yelled as he turned his key in the loft door and dumped his suitcase inside.

He immediately got a startled "Eddie?" in response, and thank God for that because if Buck had been out running errands it would have been the last damn straw. But he was here, where Eddie needed him to be, and pounding down the stairs from the stupid platform thing he had instead of a normal bedroom. "Is everything OK?"

"No! You won't answer your goddamn phone and my house is full of bees."

5. counteroffer - buckleyseddie / @buckleyseddie - 25k

There’s a flicker of something across Buck’s face, but he quickly goes back to grinning. “You just want me at your beck and call.”

“Maybe I do.” Eddie shrugs. “You owe it to me.”

Buck sighs, as if put out, but Eddie can see the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “Okay, then what's it gonna be?”

Eddie hums thoughtfully. He takes his time trying to think of something good. “What about-” he starts.

And that’s the moment Buck licks his lips and Eddie’s eyes dip down to them. And before he knows what comes over him, before he can think the words through, they’re out of his mouth.

“A kiss,” he says.

Buck blinks at him. Eddie blinks back.

“You want a kiss,” Buck repeats, eyebrows rising.

***

Or in order for Buck to make it up to Eddie, Eddie suggests that Buck gives him one hundred kisses.

6. keep me as your finish line - thatbuddie (talktothesky) / @thatbuddie - 33k

“Oh no, we’re not doing this.” Chimney pops a bubble with the gum he’s been chewing as he moves one of his fingers back and forth to point between The-Man-who-isn’t-Buck’s-man-he’s-just-The-Man and Buck. “You didn’t drag me to the gym just so you can ditch me to fuck some guy in the showers."

Buck lowers his voice, leaning forward as if trying to make the words’s journey shorter between him and Chimney so they can’t escape and reach anyone else’s ears,“I wouldn’t fuck him in the showers.”

Chimney’s response is wordless in the form of an eyebrow raise.

“Not anymore, okay?” Buck clarifies, rolling his eyes. “That’s not who I am now."

(spoiler alert: Buck does fuck the guy in the showers. but that comes after nicknaming him Big Beautiful Brown Eyes, finding out his name is actually Eddie, becoming his best friend, and falling madly in love with him.)

7. bring me a higher love - KiaraSayre / @starsandatoms - 7.4k

The A-shift works 4/20, Buck gets accidentally high, and Eddie suffers.

8. home stretch of a hard time - spiritsontheroof - 4.2k

When Buck tells him that he’s engaging in a “year of possibilities” in which he isn’t saying to no anything, Eddie isn’t surprised. It’s exactly the kind of thing Buck would get himself into to break this slump he says he’s been in. He’s changing his life, or so he says.

9. tying you to me - rarakiplin (gmontys) / @hoediaz - 5.3k

“Diaz?”

The man — and it is Eddie Diaz, Buck can’t not see it now — blinks, and in a split second his expression shutters closed. “Buckley.”

Buck wonders if he looks different without Diaz’s blood on his face.

-

or, eddie and buck meet each other at rock bottom

10. Four Can Keep A Secret - Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars - 20k

When Ravi and Hen accidentally see Buck and Eddie, who are trying hard to keep their new relationship a secret, in the middle of a romantic moment, they try to make them confess without the rest of the station finding out. Shenanigans ensue.

[littlefanficprincess]

I want to see your pretty face

Oneshot

Pair: Tord (post end) x reader

Song: One woman Army (Porcelain Black)

Part 2

(A/n): Tord doesn't appear yet, but I want to first bridge the gap between meetings.

~~~~~~~~

How long has it been since I've seen Tord? 2...3 years, maybe 4?

It doesn't really matter to me, I just hope that he is alright. To keep my mind off things, I began to work out. Run around the block a few times every morning, do some yoga and going to the gym atleast twice a week.

I never got the answer on why Tord was on that wanted poster, there were more wanted posters everyday. Makes me wonder what he did to be wanted for that much money.

It was currently morning, I was on my morning run when I noticed a flyer on the ground. I grab it from the concrete floor and let me gaze glide across it. It seemed old, it had small tears and faded colors.

Red Army

+47 12345678

'Red Army? I don't think I've ever heard of it. It wouldn't hurt giving it a call, I'm kinda curious' I fold the flyer and stuff it into my pocket.

Once I had finished my jog, I enter my house and sits down on the couch. I pull put my phone and the flyer. I carefully type in the number into my phone.

Ring...Ring..."Hello, this is Senna Akuna from the Red Army. How may I help you?" A woman voice was on the other side, she sound like she was in her mid-thirties.

"My name is (Y/n) (L/n). I found a flyer on the street about the red army, I was curious on what the Red Army is" I chimes, fiddling with end of my shirt.

The woman on the other side lets a groan "Paul said he got rid of them all. Well the Red Army is an organisation which has the goal to change the world. It has existed for many years"

"Is there anyway to join it?"

"There is indeed ons, I could set up an appointment to see if you're fit. It's alright if you refuse. I will warn you that if you leak this information, you will be assassinated" She informs.

"Well, isn't that just comforting. I am intrested in joining"

"Ofcourse. I have a spot for you on Monday the 27th at 2:30, Is that a good time for you?"

"Yes, where should I go?"

"Go to the abandoned walnut factory outside town, there you will be picked up by a car. Which will bring you the base, you will be escorted to my office. I will see you then, have a nice day"

"You too" I press on the hang up button, and let out a huff. The idea of being in an army sounds thrilling and also exciting. I'd say I'm pretty fit and thanks to all those times where me and Tord went to the shooting range. Even if I was rusty, I still knew how to use a gun.

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

Timeskip

┗━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┛

(Y/n) taps her foot against the concrete. She has been waiting for a few minutes, feeling the breeze blow past her.

A car pulls up, the windows were too dark to see inside. The window of it slightly lowers, just enough to hear what is going on inside, but not see inside.

"(Y/n) (L/n)?" A voice inside questions.

"That's me" (Y/n) answers, nodding.The back door opens, inviting her in. She enters the car, sitting down on the seat. She closes the door as the car takes off.

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

Timeskip

┗━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┛

She was dropped off at a big building, it was black and red. She carefully the approaches the enterance, noticing a red button next to the door.

Reaching out, she presses it. A click could heard and the door opens. (Y/n) enters, cautiously, looking around.

"You must be (Y/n)" A voice says. Making (Y/n) turn towards the source finding a man. He was wearing a red sweater, with a blue overcoat over it. He had brown hair with split bangs.

"The one and only" The girl responds. She eyes the name tag on his uniform 'Patryck'.

"Follow me" Patryck turns his back, using his hand to motion for the girl to follow. He leads her to an office, it was a silent between them. Patryck found the girl familiar but couldn't place his finger on where he saw her. He knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" (Y/n) hears the same voice she spoke to on the phone.

"It's Patryck, I have (Y/n) (L/n) with me" Patryck speaks."Right, Patryck, you can leave. (L/n), please enter"

Patryck gives a small wave, before walking off to somewhere. (Y/n) turns to the door, opening it and walking through it.

There was a desk with a woman sitting behind it. She had dark colored hair and a suit with a red tie. She motions for the girl to take a seat infront of the desk, which she does.

"I have looked at your portfolio, I'm quite impressed. I heard that you often visited a shooting ranch, is that correct?" Senna explains, looking at the person on the other side of the desk.

"Oh yeah, like...6 years I think. It was mostly with my friend Tord, I haven't seen him in a long time, so I stopped visiting" (Y/n) replies, scratching her cheek.

Senna hums "interesting" she writes something on a paper next to, she puts the pen down "Your future will be discussed, I'll give you a call next week"

[sloanerisette]

Fic For Odaiba Day 2024: You Need A Promotion, I Want A Shake Up, So Let's Get Married!

Hello everyone! Happy Odaiba Day! 25 years of Digimon! It's incredible to think about! I'm so happy I've gotten back into this show and this fandom because it's been so wonderful!

I know it's not Odaiba Day in America but it IS Odaiba Day in Japan so I'm going to post the FIRST of my two fics I'm osting for Odaiba Day!

Title: You Need A Promotion, I Want A Shake Up, So Let's Get Married! Summary: A newly 30 Mimi Tachikawa has it all: great friends, her dream career, and tons of fans, but she's missing one thing: a relationship she isn't allowed to have because of an overbearing manager.

Jou Kido is living a simple life: he goes to work at his father's hospital, he comes home, he goes to sleep and does it again. However, pressure from his father has him needing to live up to his lofty expectations to one day secure a promotion that will make all of the work he's done in his life worth it.

When the two of them get in touch after so many years and learn of each other's struggles, they decide on the obvious solution: pretend they're married. Big thanks to Camp Digimonth and zuz-senpai for all the support and excitement for this fic! I'm so happy to have this first chapter out and I hope you all enjoy! I'll post a blurb here under the read more, but you can view the fic on AO3 HERE!

Bright lights shined in her face, which a make up artist was currently patting foundation on. Mimi Tachikawa sat in a chair, curlers in her hair, phone held gingerly in her nicely manicured hands, and she tapped through it and looked through her contacts..

In three days it would be her thirtieth birthday, and she couldn’t be more excited. She was excited to reach a new milestone in her life— not that turning thirty was a particularly big one, anyways— and more than that, she was getting the finishing touches set up for her big birthday party. She rented out a fancy Italian restaurant at one of the nicest hotels in the area, one that had a beautiful view of the bay, and a bunch of her friends would be there to celebrate with her. Though the invites she sent out already were for fellow models who she worked with and became friends with since her late teens and early twenties, an old photo popping up on her phone reminded her of another group of friends she needed to invite. She tried to keep it small at first, but, well, she was Mimi! How could she keep an event like this small when she had so many friends? Especially friends.

And though she hadn’t had a chance to spend as much time with them as she wanted to for years, they were old friends and classmates who meant the world to her: Yagami Taichi, Ishida Yamato, Takenouchi Sora, Izumi Koushiro, Kido Jou, Takaishi Takeru, Yagami Hikari, Motomiya Daisuke, Inoue Miyako, Hida Iori, and Ichijouji Ken.

Twelve extra people was going to be a big ask considering she already had, what, twenty some other people going? But she couldn’t leave them out. It had been a long time since she sat down with most of them, but they were still all friends to some degree.

“Tachikawa-san? I need to apply your lipstick real quick,” the young woman who was doing her makeup told her. Mimi’s eyes flicked up to her and she smiled.

“Of course! What color?” she asked.

“It’s this,” the girl said, holding up a lipstick tube that was colored a beautiful, deep, rich burgundy.

“Oooh, that looks great! Go ahead!”

Mimi puckered her lips, and as the make-up artist started to apply the first coat, she glanced back down at her phone, adding each of them to a group chat. Once the makeup artist finished the first coat of lipstick, Mimi started rapidly firing off messages.

[Tachikawa Mimi]: Hey everyone! It’s Mimi!

[Tachikawa Mimi]: I’m having my 30th bday in a few days! And you’re all invited!

[Tachikawa Mimi]: Sorry for it being so late notice! I’ll send you all the time and location!

She sent the RSVP from her calendar, unable to stop from feeling giddy, practically bouncing in her seat. Her phone immediately buzzed like wild, and she couldn’t wait to check on it after the shoot.

The girl finished the second coat of lipstick, and Mimi looked at herself in the mirror as she then removed the curlers, letting her hair fall down in loose curls and waves.

“Is hair and makeup done?” a man’s voice called from the other end of the room.

“Yup!” the make up artist chirped back. Mimi popped up from the chair. She gave herself a once over, turning to one side, then the other, to appreciate the midnight blue evening gown she had on. Combined with the lipstick and her honey brown hair, she looked like a real stunner, if she said so herself.

“This looks great! You did an incredible job! Thank you so much,” she beamed, before heading over to the set.

[thebibliosphere]

Hey Joy, this isn't a question so much as a way for me to convince myself I'm not a hypochondriac, lol. Lately, I've been experiencing symptoms of fatigue, brain fog or memory issues, light-headedness, etc, that are uncommon for my age (30). I have related disorders such as anemia, anxiety, & ADHD that may be contributing to these symptoms, although they seem to have gotten worse or appear more frequently now than when I was initially diagnosed with those disorders. My work allows me to read & interact with disabled people with rare diseases, so I often find similarities with their medical issues. At first, I thought this was all just burnout or something related to the lockdown during COVID. I just saw my doctor and had blood work done to check my levels, and I may have a heart condition (tachycardia, mitral valve prolapse). I've fallen asleep at work before because I can't keep my eyes open, even after a full 8 hours of sleep. I can get dizzy from standing up too fast & can't seem to be on my feet for very long without discomfort & pain (I used to work retail, how did I ever do it?). I've researched some of my symptoms and found ME/CFS and POTS as possible conditions. Do you think it's a possibility I have these, or is it just my anxiety? Thank you! (P.s. Hunger Pangs is on my tbr!)

I obviously cannot tell you with any certainty what is wrong--and I am glad you are seeing doctors about it already and may have possible answers wrt tachycardia and the mitral valve.

What I will say is that there are many types of dysautonomia, of which POTS is one, and that what you are describing sounds very familiar to me as someone with two known types of dysautonomia.

The fact that this is hampering your quality of life to the point where you fall asleep at work, are unable to stand without getting dizzy, and are experiencing chronic pain, is enough of a reason to pursue further testing for things like dysautonomia and, yes, possibly even ME/CFS though given your history of anemia, I'm inclined more toward dysautonomia because the two often go hand in hand.

Also, it is normal to feel anxiety experiencing these types of symptoms. Even if it turns out to be a symptom of your anxiety, doesn't make the experiences any less real and debilitating, and you deserve treatment that will help improve your quality and comfort of life. And there is treatment and things you can do that will make you feel better. Getting your anemia under control should be a top priority if it isn't already. Mines was allowed to go untreated for years until we found out my iron anemia was being caused by pernicious anemia (b12 deficiency), and the iron anemia I'd been plagued with since birth suddenly cleared up.

Years and years of blood transfusions and infusion treatments, and the whole time I needed b12. Who knew? Certainly not my old doctors.

Anyway. If your symptoms are at the point where you are recognizing yourself in things like POTS? It's time to pursue that with your doctor. Don't put it off because you think it's not that bad or others have it worse. Everyone deserves to feel well.

Good luck.

[sazzujazzu]

Hello, as the days count down and the Bad Batch finale draws closer, may I show to the fine folks of tumblr my first Star Wars OC in 20 years, created thanks to this show? 😃

Too bad, I'm showing them anyway 😊 somberly chilling while listening to their bestie talk.

Please excuse the poor background (I got lazy) and half-finished Tech (I got sad)

there's, uh, a big mess of words under the image because I wanted to put into words the importance this show has for me, and I am bad at doing so.

I want to get some thoughts off my chest, because I have no one in my day-to-day life who cares about the animated Star Wars shows, and especially the Bad Batch. (well, other than my mom, but I don't want to bore her with my rambling too much. she already banned star wars from me once, i won't let that happen again lol)

I can't stop thinking how much I don't want Bad Batch to end.

This show has been so dear to me. I can't remember the last time I've loved something this much.

Before the second season started, I had an artistic block that had lasted way too long. Anything I drew or wrote, mostly turned out a horrible mess after staring at a blank page for hours and hours, if I ever managed to create anything at all. For someone who tends to draw whenever their hands aren't otherwise busy (aka all the damn time), such a block weighed down on my mental health.

Well, then season two happened, and full-on gave me back my love for Star Wars, a love that had somewhat gone out over the last few years. Then, Plan 99 happened, and broke me because again my favorite character "died" (I'm in team Tech lives until I draw my last breath or until proven correct. That chocolate-eyed cutie-pie is alive nothing will convince me otherwise). Pretty much after finishing the episode and staring at a wall for another 30 minutes, I said "nope" and began writing.

I wrote for hours. I believe it's been well over a decade since I last wrote fanfiction, but here I was, creating a Star Wars oc, something I'd last done as a ten-year-old. And now, roughly a year later, I think I've written over a hundred pages of (very self-indulgent) fanfiction with the Batch, and with my oc that I've come to love.

And drawing, oh boy, have I been drawing!

(... Sure, I've mostly been drawing Tech, over and over again, to a point I once actually considered lying and saying "yeah that's my boyfriend haha!" to a man at my job last summer, when asked who it was that I was drawing for maybe fifth day in a row 😂 likely would've been a more acceptable excuse for someone my age. But, I mean... I just really love drawing him, not only because he is my favorite character of maybe all time, but because he is just so fun to draw! And most of all, at least I draw again!)

And it is all thanks to this wonderful show about a bunch of defective and effective copy-paste boys and their sister.

It's probably something many say, but I've always felt like a bit of an outsider. I've felt like I have no place; when I was a kid, my interests were very different from the other kids of [gender assigned at birth], and trying to play with them while inserting my own interests into the games, often didn't go so well. I was... kind of an odd child (although now, older and questionably wiser, knowing that I might actually be autistic, many things make more sense now. me kind of discovering this about myself is also partially thanks to Bad Batch)

Also, growing up trans/non-binary, while not even knowing what that is or having a word for it, didn't really do much to help with the feeling of "I'm different and an outsider because of it". Perhaps it was one more reason I fell in love with Clone Force 99, because I could see some of myself in them. Being different from the "regs".

I love this show, and these fictional people have become my family, and I am not ready to say goodbye to them.

Alright, weird pile of thoughts over. In case someone read all this, uh... thanks 😊

[izzylovesmatt]

i hate you more 🥀

matt sturniolo

also if anyone as used the title i can change it and im not copying anyone im just bored

⚠️warnings⚠️ smut, 18+, pet names (baby,good girl,mommy etc), cussing, use of y/n, and so on

for context y/n is nathan's sister she's 22 years old she's also an actor and one of the triplets closest friends well besides matt, he always seemed to hate y/n for no reason, they used to be close but drifted.

hate

why do i hate him so much?i hate so much its like i don't hate him at all.

i wrote down in my journal today is the first day of september and i need to understand i need to know why we hate eachother or atleast why he hates me. my phone starts to ring "hello" i say answering the phone "heyy y/n are you doing anything tonight" my best friend nick says from the other line, "uhh no why do you ask"

"well only because the biggest party ever is tonight and i saw that you were invited it's a halloween party so bring a costume we're picking you up at 8 love you see you then"

"wait nic-" i say before he hangs up the phone. ughh i do not wanna go to this stupid party, i don't even have a costume

time skip

it's now 7:30 and i'm almost ready in my harley quinn outfit, with my low blonde pigtails with blue and pink ends, i have harley quinn's classic makeup, fishnets with a couple holes, really short shorts that compliment my ass, a shirt that says "daddy's little girl" on it that shows basically my whole tits and a leather jacket halfway off my shoulder. perfect my costume looks amazing.

i turn my vlog camera on "hey guys so i'm not gonna be videoing at this party but since it's jake johnnie and arrington party im sure you guys will see me on video somewhere tonight, anyways im about to leave and i will see you all in the morning" i say before shutting the camera off and fixing my lipstick.

i hear my phone start to ring

"helloooo"

"hey girl we're outside"

"okay coming" i say before hanging up the phone taking a quick fireball shot then rushing out of my house and into the triplets car.

"hii guys" i say sitting next to nick and buckling my seatbelt

"hey you look nice" chris says

"thank you, you don't look to bad yourself" i say back

"are you kidding me?" matt says

"um what" i say confused realizing that matt had dressed up as the joker

"heh that's awkward" nick says while chris snickers with him

"i'm going home and changing" matt says

"oh don't be so dramatic matt lets go we're gonna be late" nick says hitting his shoulder

i roll my eyes and we drive to jake johnnie and carriontons house, when we show up the person to greet us is carrington, me and carriongton were in a movie together so that's how i know him and i've know jake and johnnie for like 1-2 years.

"heyy y/n you look so hot" carrington says already drunk

"hi carrington" i say laughing while hugging him back, i notice matt staring at the fact carringtons hands are low on my back. we walk into the party and i greet tara who is in her jennifer's body costume

"hey girl you look so good" i say hugging her

"heyyy"

"im gonna get a drink it was nice seeing you" i say walking over to the drinks seeing matt and he's already on his second one

"woah slow down there mr driver" i say pouring my self a solo cup with half the cup with vodka and the other half a coke

"shut up" matt says taking another sip of his drink already pouring himself a third

"matt seriously chill your third already slow down" i say taking a sip of my drink

"make me" he says obviously already getting tipsy

i roll my eyes and take another sip of my drink giving turning around giving matt a whole veiw of my ass, i can feel his eyes on me, suddenly a strong arm grabs me

"come back here y/n" matt says pulling me close to him taking a shot then a sip of his drink and pouring himself another one

"matt we have been here half an house and your already drunk" i say taking a shot then refilling my cup starting to feel the alcohol

"shhh just listen to the music" he says

"what are you- are you crazy matthew?"

"say my name again"

"you have lost your head"

"your so beautiful did i ever tell you that" he says cupping my face and staring into my eyes

"matt you should probably shut your mouth before you say something you don't wanna"

"but i do wanna say it"

"matt-"

"your so so sexy and funny. but i still hate you"

"i hate you more"

matt suddenly finishes whatever drink number he's on and wraps his hand around my waist exept his hands are literally on my ass

"such a perfect ass yeah?"

"feeling not so shy today huh?"

"i'm glad we're matching"

"yeah?"

"EVERYONE LETS PLAY TRUTH OR DARE SPICYYYY" larray says hinting for our big group to sit down and play

at one big table there was jake johnnie carrington matt chris tara nick larray y/n sam colby and few other people

"okay bitches i'll go first... y/n truth or dare"

"dare."

"okayyyu i dare you to sit on the person who is the most attractive's lap for the rest of the game"

"okay fine" i say getting up and walking over to matt and sitting on his lap, as i sit down matt puts his arms around my waist and holds me

"clostest i've ever seen them were their not fighting" chris says laughing

"shut up chris"

"okay but it was kinda obvious matt wanted y/n" nick says whisper to chris

"bros whipped" he says whispering back, him and nick exchange chuckles while it's matt's turn to get asked

"matthew sturniolo truth. or dare." chris says

"dare"

"i dare you to do a body shot with the person who has the matching harley to your joker" he says smirking. matt looks at me for an okay sign, i look at him like i was begging him to do it. i lay on the table and he does the body shot keeping eye contact the whole time he did it

"okay like get a room" nick says making everyone laugh

after matt had got the line out of my mouth i pulled my shirt back down and sat back onto his lap

"i would pay you to do that 100 times" he says in my ear

i can't help but smile, a little after the game ended matt at still not gotten up not letting me up aswell.

as i try and get up he pushes me down back onto his lap this time i feel something hard under me his dick

"matt-"

"stop you can't get up"

"too bad im thirsty" i say as i get up off of him and walk over taking a shot then getting another drink.

suddenly i feel a pair of hands on my waist

"i need you so bad pretty girl"

i hear matts voice low and seductive in my ear

"i have to host this game in like 15 minutes i cant matt not now"

"no you have to just give me ten minutes"

i put my drink on the counter infront of me and turn around now facing matt putting my hands around his neck as i kiss him, he kisses me back right away hungirly like he hasnt had any physical touch ever in his life.

"so so so needy" i say as i pull away from the kiss and take his hand and lead him to the closet and lock the door

"not here w-what if we get caught"

"you wanted it so bad now take your pants off"

"b-but-"

"off." i say as he slowly unbuckles his belt and pulls his pants down revealing the hard bulge in his boxers, i slowly get down onto my knees and palm him through his pants

"f-fuck stop teasing please Y/N i need this"

"be patient" i say slowly pulling his boxers down as his dick springs up and hits his stomach precum already leaking

i slowly wrap my hand around the base of his dick flicking my thumb over his tip

"fuckk mmph please m-more"

"shhh cant be too loud dont want anybody hearing now do we?"

"n-no dont want that mo-baby"

"you can say it matty" i say seeing matts embarrassed expression and rosy cheeks

"thank you mommy"

i spit on his dick then slowly stroke his swollen hard dick

"mmph more mmh please"

i pick up the pace go faster and faster each second

"fuck fuck mmph so so close"

i slowly start to stop going slower and slower each second, matt was so close one more stroke and hes done all his orgasm falling away causing him to physically groan

"no no why did you stop mommy i promise ill be quiet"

i kiss his tip causing him to whimper my name once again, i start stroking him again so fast not even matt can comprehend the pace

"nnngh so so close please"

i slow down again and flick my thumb over his tip every time i reached it, not going fast whatso ever

"fuck fuck please"

i flick my thumb over his tip one last time then i start going faster then slower then faster again

"fuckk dont stop"

"Open your mouth"

i open my mouth listening to his commands, as i do he almost immediately cums into my mouth, i feel his warm seed falling down my throat like water. i swallow everything there still being some on my chin.

"fuckkkkkk" he whimpers as im still stroking him

'nghhh mommmy im sensitive"

"sorry sweet boy" i say kissing his tip hearing him groan at the kiss and the loss of contact

"looks like its time to get back to the party, lets pull these up yeah?"

"i still hate you, halfway, maybe, maybe not" matt says as i pull up his pants

" i hate you more baby" i say kissing him but he pulls away not kissing back

"ew ew no im not tasting myself"

i laugh at his words then sneak out of the closet hoping nobody saw us, matt following behind me.

NICK

ew girl my brother

uhhh

yeah bitch i saw yall sneaking around

lets pretend we didnt see that

never looking at you the same

read today at 1:05

i got lazy at the end ts was supossed to have plot very sorry its also been sitting in the drafts for ever

[deesi-academia]

hey, I saw the anti swiftie post. If you're comfortable mag I know the reason why? I am kinda neutral about her but I feel like I should know stuff. I understand if you don't wanna answer this. Take care <3

(also I agree the swiftie fandom is kinda annoying lmao)

hello old old old anon ask I'm so sorry for replying so late but yeah hi 😭

I have tons of time on my hands for the next.... 30 minutes so let's get into it. I'll list a time line of my thought process to how I came to the 'ex-swiftie' conclusion:

1. She released a song called "renegade" which is good, but I found some lines problematic and unexpected, because I used to hold swift to a pedestal (guilty as charged).

The lines were 'is it insensitive of me to say get your shit together so I can love you' and 'is it really your anxiety stopping {something love something idk} or do you just not want to?' SOOOOO yeah these thew me off a little.

2. Her album Midnights came out which I ADORED, became my fav so quick. But then her multiple variations of vinyls etc threw me off again. This is when the Bad Feeling About Her started setting in.

3. Then she released the song 'You're losing me' which just BLARED red flags to me even though the song is actually good. It's the first time I think, where she hinted that she broke up with her bf (Joe Alwyn) because of his mental illness.

4. The ongoing carbon emissions controversy lol, and her buying carbon credits... like it just felt like a "hah I'm rich so I can do whatever wrongs i want and buy it out" moment. I really hated that, since I live in a pretty polluted city so it hit close to home.

5. She threatened to sue the teenager who published PUBLIC data about her flights. Bad.

6. The entire free palestine movement gained momentum and she stayed silent. She has her image as the American Princess and Activist Who Can Do No Wrong. Feminist Queen. Speaker For Those Who Can't Speak. Yada Yada.

I simply hated her billionaire self as she chose to stay silent (and still is). To call off the criticism she and her bestie Selena went to a live comedy show where the comedian donated his earnings for Gaza relief. LIKE. ??????? Basic billionaire below underground level of "donation"???? This had to be a joke. It was not.

I think this incident was the final straw for me where I realized I can't support her if she's such a human being. That's not what my morals stand for thank you very much.

7. I REALLY tried to separate the art from the artist but I couldn't. Not with my sane mind and strong ethics. AND THEN the entire Matty healy debacle. He's a misogynistic, racist, zionist, ugh of a person.

I don't think anyone can date someone with such drastic opposing values. So the Taylor-Matty era further tarnished her image in front of me.

8. Fast forward and she releases her new album The Tortured Poets Department. That's it this was my final straw. You can just Google and go on a reddit thread about how problematic this album is. I'll probably write a long ass essay on it. Anyway this is where I decided I'm done, back in April.

Since then I've just been trying to cope with losing my fav artist because of the person she turned out to me. And people say we shouldn't hold celebs to such high standards but bro. Taylor PROMOTES parasocial relationships. SHE held her image to that standard until recently. There's an entire documentary on Netflix about that - Miss Americana.

So yeah she let me down from the pedestal she put herself on. It's been 2+ months and I'm still coping, because I genuinely lost a very important part of my life - her music. It has got me through tough times and I have many good memories associated with those songs.

Anyway, here's to new artists to love ONLY for their music lol 🥂

[turntableart]

okay hi, this character yes this on, is so far called yellow.rom and he is heavily inspired by kinitopet

I LOVE THAT GAME GO PLAY IT GO PLAY IT RIGHT NOW

ehem anyways :] yellow is my take on that

what you need to know before hand is that yellow is a character I've already made and used for a good chunk of time he's actually an fan made Addison from DELTARUNE and in this lil universe he's in, he's in a computer that belongs to a human version of a pink ad called click, they're human name is clark, go to bright goats page to learn about him I love they're stuff sweet Jesus you have no idea, I have no idea how to link people shit bush help

Anyways!

Yellow was completed in 1999 and managed to get on Clarks computer a little later, he popped up in Clarks emails with a year free trial and theyve been stuck together like glue! They are besties and stuff I love them, before that tho yellow was sat in an old computer at the studio that made him, he was cancelled a week prior to his release so when he caught on that he wouldn't be able to literally be friends with everyone on earth he leaked his own files :3 by request of his creator Thomas Greterson who disappeared later that night, that's when he fell into the spam mail box on Clarks computer :]

thank you to bush for doing rps with me so I can get his story down they love him just as much as me it makes me so happy, they also love Thomas, they love how wet cat he is and how bbg he is

Now what can yellow do as an ai assistant? Well he can do surprisingly a lot! He can do the basics like interact with you personally but he can like uh talk? He uses a tts so you can give him your name and he'll say it!!! What tts does he use uh... I haven't decided yet he's only a few days old give me a break, he can interact with you and tabs he can manipulate stuff and activate stuff like your mic or camera if you let him

He can block you from seeing certain things since he was made for a younger democratic, so no ao3 no corn hub no stuff like that... Unless you turn child mode off which is quite hard to do, you need to actually prove to him that your allowed to use that stuff

yes he can read what you search for and he can see what your looking at you dirty sinner

He can judge you. He will judge you. He is programmed to be your best friend :] and is semi self aware, he's self aware enough to feel panic when technology starts to advance and he's worried he'll become obsolete, he doesn't Clark is a smarty, He's also an anti virus, his way of getting rid of viruses is... Interesting

no were not talking about how he's illegally a virus to he doesn't like to talk about it

Hes actually 3D! Or 2.5D I'm not sure what you call it, I plan on making him a 3d model but that'll take time, But he can spin he is an orb and a pyramid with s t i c k s we love him :3 he also has a text box cause he's nice like that, he adds faces into them like :] :3 :D ya know? He kinda has to when he don't have a mouth, his form can be altered if he let's you, he let's Clark edit it cause they're besties :] so often times yellow is littered with stickers and little additions that Clark as drawn on Microsoft paint, sometimes he draws a mouth on yellow :] speaking of mouths, yellow can edit himself as well in a less permanent way, what he does is open a paint tab and he draws his own features such as mouths and eyes and stuff even though he does have a lot of animations already built in but sometimes he just needs a little change up

So far that's all for yellow :] heres a lil about Thomas his creator! Thomas Greterson is the human name for yellow, cause when he's an Addison hes called turnon. G. Addison :] and in this world he's in his late 30s and has been working on yellow for years, he has two kids Clara and evan with his wife Cathryn, when he quit on the day of yellows cancelation he called his wife and was met with the voice of a man he didn't know, turns out she had been cheating on him for the whole of they're marage and most of they're relationship, you see when yellow would be released there was big talk of him being a company success and Thomas would've gotton a big pay out which is the reason Cathy was with him, hearing that he wouldn't get it just made her file for devoice right they're on the phone since I guess her affair was found out, Thomas hung up the phone and walked to a bar and while later he was stumbling back home and was hit by a truck, he didn't survive and now is currently in the hands of the goddess of light

who is the god version of my friend bush, she adores this sad overworked man I am not joking I also have a god form as well as another friend of mine who isn't on here so I won't give em a name well his character is called add-on who is also in this world as a teacher Clark and him don't get along

Anyway so far that's all I've go :3 I hoped enjoy my little read! I enjoyed writing it and I can't wait to write more when I ad more to this hehee *ad* more hehehe

BY THE WAY PLEASE LET ME TALK ABOUT MY AD OC I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT HIM SO PLEASE ASK ME QUESTIONS I SWEAR I WILL GO FERAL I WANT TO SPREAD THE YELLOW AGENDA PLEASE PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY OCS I'M BEGGING

[something-pithy]

Notes and an Update: Astarion, Tav, and Trauma in Stories

Pictured above: actual footage of trauma response from Astarion (j/k! kinda!) to catch your eye :D

Hey glittercats and cosmic kittens!

So I've definitely been neglecting the updates here, which I'm going to try to do better with.

We're up to Chapter 11 on this bad boy, and I've adjusted the anticipated chapter count to 30 (but honestly it's probably still all lies because I have absolutely no sense of how much writing each point on my outline ends up being loool).

I have a DOPE beta who's fucking amazing both in terms of conventions and idea partnership and I'm telling you right now, this story is so much better for having their hands and eyes on it.

SOME CONTENT WARNING STUFF RE: THIS CHAPTER:

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

.

.

.

MORE DETAILS ON THIS -- SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

So hopefully that's enough room for people who don't want to be spoiled to escape!

So I'm going to copy/paste the end note on the story, and expand on it a little bit.

So, although Tav is a "good drunk," as Frank Gallagher might put it, she is 1000% engaging in pretty serious substance abuse, or to be more specific in this chapter, alcohol use disorder. I'm not going to go into the way this story is going to approach mental and behavioral health disorders and trauma; hopefully it will speak for itself. Suffice it to say substance abuse and trauma are not the central subject of this story, but also, Astarion and Tav as they exist in this little pocket dimension of the BG3 universe have been impacted by the trauma they've each experienced both together and as individuals. In general, the impact of trauma can look and feel a lot of ways. Sometimes it's horrifying, sometimes it's heartbreaking, sometimes it's rage-inducing - but let's be honest, sometimes that shit is funny, too, because humor is such an incredible survival tactic / coping mechanism. Even if sometimes we're laughing at shit that shouldn't be funny. (Maybe especially then.) This story isn't going to be an after-school special or a PSA. It's a story about people, and sometimes people are fucked up (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. If this has activated you, or you have earnest questions or concerns about what's going on in this story / with these characters, or you just want to shoot the shit, hit me up on my tumblr. There might be more notes there on this eventually, but for now, this chapter actually took a lot out of me and I'm still out here with these perpetual COVID symptoms, so... lol NOT TONIGHT. As always, thank y'all for reading, kudosing, and commenting.

OK, so I may have lied about the no notes part... but honestly, in re-reading that note, I think it kind of gets to the point.

But ALSO...

I've been a geek on the internet for a long, long time. I've engaged with different fan-based writing and roleplaying communities (tabletop, chat-based, forum-based, butt-based -- EVERYTHING) for pretty much the entire time.

"The Tragic Backstory" seems like it's been A Whole Thing since people started creating characters whether for roleplay or stories.

I think times have changed somewhat, but back in the day I ran in circles where a lot of thoughts about writing, creating characters, roleplay, etc. coexisted somewhat peacefully, but an old chestnut that consistently (maybe without fail) turned up in any conversation that involved Writers of Quality was a contingent of folks who had deep disdain for The Tragic Backstory.

I'm talkin' some deep, scathing, elitist shit, my beautiful people.

And I'm not gonna lie to you! This is approximately ten thousand years ago (no but seriously, decades), and honestly, I was up in those conversations, too, throwing around my disdain, assured by my fellow elitists that even though I frequently employed some form of Tragic Backstory, it was OK when I did it because it was good.

I mean in retrospect, it's kinda bullshit. There's always gonna somebody who's gonna think your shit's good, and there's also always gonna be somebody who thinks they're a Better Writer Than You who's gonna think your shit is... well, shit.

Not gonna lie, I still have very strong and particular preferences when it comes to the fic I read in general, and that includes backstory.

But over time, I got progressively less insecure (not just about my writing, but in general) and consequently less concerned with judging writing that's not my flavor as "bad" or "shitty" or "juvenile" (looool seriously, I was a dick) and more concerned with finding and creating writing that is my flavor.

However, and I don't think I'm going to apologize for it, some dickish tendencies linger in my soul. I'm going to try and frame these thoughts in terms of what compels me in a story I'm reading and what I do (or try to do) in my own writing.

This is a very long way of saying if something I say (or have already said) makes you feel like I'm coming for your neck, please know that I'm not.

My thoughts and/or opinions may cause you or someone you love to feel Some Type of Way. That is not my intention. I have no desire to:

Yuck anyone's yum

Contribute to or activate the crippling self-doubt that plagues almost every creative I've ever met

Be a dick.

Having said all that, I do have Thoughts on This Matter.

People write for a lot of reasons, but I'm fairly convinced that nobody's doing it with any level of purity. There are tons of incredible, beautiful, moving stories that feature a whole-ass Self-Insert, maybe even the dreaded Mary Sue.

(lol lookin' at you Dante's Inferno, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire, and countless others lol)

People write to explore topics and themes that interest them, that compel them, that they see recurring in the world around them and/or their own lives.

One of those things is trauma.

In my writing, I approach trauma, disordered behaviors, dysfunction, dysregulated emotions, etc. (topics both of great interest to me and, not coincidentally, ones with which I have a great deal of personal experience) from a place of wanting fervently to tell the truth.

And I'm pretty good writing some things that feel true.

But I know that in some ways, I've shied away from harder truths; from using my writing and the characters I create not only as reflections of what I see in the world, but as accurate (rather than idealized) reflections of myself.

Because of this, while I've explored redemption arcs in roleplaying games (where being cheesy or facile or juvenile or fulfilling personal fantasies felt much safer than on a page), I've skirted neatly around it, I think, in my writing (for the most part). Because I absolutely was the girl who wanted to "save" or "fix" the wounded (and emotionally unavailable, and/or abusive, and/or toxic) lover. I wanted stories about it. I wanted to roll around in that narrative, bathe in it, eat it up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

All while occupying the role/perspective of The Good One / The Good Girl whether in a game or in a story I was consuming.

But it's not the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. Not for me, anyway.

My admiration, respect, regard, and all the other good words for the writing and acting in Baldur's Gate 3 cannot be overstated. Each of the "origin" characters (and honestly, any character "Tav" has the opportunity to even have a conversation with, much less spend a significant amount of time with) is thoughtfully and truthfully written. I see this more in some than others, but that depth and breadth of understanding about human beings -- sorry, sentient beings -- shows up all over the place and honestly I almost can't stand how much I love it.

I'm not going to say that there's no character I feel this as deeply with as Astarion, but... idk, sometimes.

But there's no need to quantify this. Astarion is one of a number of characters from the game that I'm low-key obsessed with.

As such, when I decided to take on the story outcome in which, in my opinion, he throws all the growth, all the processing, all the truth and reconciliation I saw him moving toward in the game into a fucking woodchipper, I did not want it to be easy.

I get wanting it to be easy, and there are delicious, delicious fics out there that go this route. I think anybody who writes Ascendant Astarion at least flirts with it.

And it's not a binary; it's not either, "OMG this is completely uncomplicated, I love you I'm your spawn and it's just like if you hadn't ascended except your SUPER EXTRA POWERFUL AND SEXY AND HOT AND WHOOPS THERE GO MY PANTIES" (which, tbh... lool I'm not mad at) or "ASTARION IS IRREDEEMABLE LET ME WRITE OF HIS TRAGIC DEMISE AND TAV'S TRAGIC WITNESS TO IT / ENGINEERING OF IT." Which I'm ALSO not mad at, because THOSE THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

But while I'm subscribed to some stories that follow those paths or ones like them, and when I get that notification it's time to STOP THE PRESSES bc mama needs to READ, for me the challenge of this is if I'm going to continue Astarion and Tav's love story (or rekindle it lol), I want to honor the four years of intense character work Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney and honestly the whole goddamn BG3 team from soup to nuts have done by considering "What would really happen here" as brutally as possible.

Komo, my incredible thought partner-cum-beta, can tell you about the pages of back and forth between us about "fml, how can we make this story work and maintain fidelity to the integrity* of these characters???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*not personal integrity -- meta shit. The integrity of their arcs, development, personalities, histories, traumas, etc.

SO. Back to trauma.

I said in my end note for chapter 11 that this story is not an after-school special (which looool probably at least some of you are like wtf are you talking about my dude and I'm like looooool omg life before kids were a whole target demographic unto themselves - kind of lol) or a PSA.

Which alludes to the fact that YES, I want to tell the truth about the ugliness of this relationship and the individuals in it with nuance and empathy and sensitivity; that I want to write about the pain and harm and longing and ache and all of it in ways that are neither hyperbolic nor diminishing.

But also, look, my darling motherfuckers, my comrades in fuckery, whoever's made it this far into this rambling monster of a -- whatever the fuck this is lool -- PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRAUMA ALSO HAVE FUN.

SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ENGAGING IN BEHAVIORS THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO THEMSELVES AND/OR OTHERS.

I don't think I've sufficiently unpacked this part to dig down much deeper into it, but what I will say is that this is not going to be a passion play about Poor Tav or Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay? or anything else.

What this is going to be (or at least, what I passionately want it to be) is -- framed with a delicious little fake-dating muffin of an emotional MacGuffin -- a portrait of some people in all (or lordt jebus please let me achieve at least MOST) of their complexity.

ALL OF IT.

Lordt Baby Jebus, Allah, Milal, Great Spaghetti Monster, ANYBODY

(not Lolth lol)

hear my prayer!

Aight, that's all I've got for today. <3

If you made it this far, PM me and tell me something you want to see in the story! I'll make you a treat.

And if it don't fit in the story, I might be able to make a li'l drabble happen.

COMING SOON to Writing Notes Storytime:

Identity in this story and in stories in general

The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral: Alignment and Astarion (and some other ppl, too!) in BG3, DnD, and This Story lol

Stuff I'm forgetting bc I'm STILL not over this never-ending COVID fuckery

[smileandasong]

that tumblr post reminded me to update my age description and like!!! (gonna put some ~slightly emo thoughts~ under a read more)

i'm glad i did that because ngl, i've been kind of struggling with the idea of being 30 for the past week since my birthday. i felt really fine about the idea of turning 30 until it happened, and i think that's mostly because of the way everyone else acts about turning 30 and some of the comments i got. i'm not talking people younger than me "thinking i'm old and cringe' (i've been old and cringe since i was like twelve, let's be real here), because no one has bat an eye at that. i'm talking people 30+ both irl and online (not really on here, tumblr has honestly been very pro 30s despite that silly dashcon post gfdfdsfrdsdes). the way everyone 'mourns' the loss of youth and just suddenly acts fucking decrepit is honestly really triggering? the amount of people that are like "well, it's all over now, welcome to 30" and just live their life like this and i??? can we not normalize this narrative? i know this is a construct as old as time itself and rooted in some deeeeeeep misogyny, but idk, maybe it's idealistic of me to think we moved past this. and this toxic cycle is only being continued because of the content being created of it. like, challenge for the 30/40-something year old millennials of tiktok to make content that's not about "life in your 30s" and it's them writhing in pain and mourning their youth and yelling at zoomers. truly, this is why i recoil every time someone calls me a millennial (and have preferred the microgeneration "zillennial" term) because i haaaaaaate the idea of being associated with this. and i recognize this is probably a lot of them using it as an outlet for dealing with growing pains/griping with mortality, but idk, i just wish people in this age range could see that they're probably feeling this way because by consuming it they're letting this be perpetuated. if they made content CELEBRATING being 30/aging, then they probably wouldn't be feeling this way as much? anyway, this is long and winded but tldr; i'm glad tumblr is very pro 30 and i'm pro 30 too~! (but really, should i expect anything less from the site has thirsted over men 30+ since the inception? thank u to the 2012 cumberb*tches and ofc the gerard enjoyers for normalizing thirsting over people beyond 20somethings)

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Hey how are you? I'm looking forward to spring, because it's still cold and gray here. I miss the members from time to time, but wow, Jin is coming back in less than 4 months, it's hard to believe. JHope is already the third member to turn 30, and by the end of next year everyone except Jk will be in their 30s

Hi!! I'm good! And you?! The weather is definitely warmer now in Lisbon!

Jungkook is my screen saver, so everyday I look at his face. Often, I wonder if he's doing well.

Like you, lately I've been thinking a lot that Jin's coming back in 4 months. He's been gone for so long I feel like I've forgotten what he's like. It's as if I've imagined him. I haven't watched much OT7 content, and I miss his eccentric personality. I know he's gonna make us all laugh again. Our spring day will have arrived when Jin returns to us. It'll be a turning point, I'm really looking forward to it. I've missed him so much. BTS isn't BTS without Jin. I really think BTS will be back when he returns because he's always been a bridge between BTS and Army and a uniting force within BTS. He's the heart of BTS. I don't know how to explain it, but he lives for BTS and Army. I think it's because he doesn't really care about going solo (not that there's anything wrong with having ambitions beyond the group), he represents the idea of OT7 the most to me.

Just yesterday I commented with my mom that Hobi turned 30!! Can you believe it? BTS are now "old men" lmao. For a boy group, they kind of are... I've been Army since late 2019 and it's hard to wrap my head around this facr, just like it is for me to accept that I'll turn 29 in 2025... I'm turning 30 soon... Wow. I still can't understand it... I've been having a quarter mid life crisis for months now tbh.

But, anyway, thanks for checking in!

[calliecat93]

Well, we're at the end of 2023. I keep going back and forth, feeling like the year went on forever and like it just started. Weird, huh? So things in the world this year... yeah I don't need to say much on the state of things. All I can say is that I hope 2024 will be better... and that Trump doesn't make it into office. Things WILL get worse for everyone if that happens, and that's all I will say about it.

Anyways, my personal life. It actually wasn't too bad. I got to go on my first-ever cruise at the end of April and the first real vacation that I had had since I was a kid. It was such an amazing time~! I even got to hug Mickey Mouse for the first time in 20 years~! Speaking of though, I've done a hard step away from animation. I still reblog stuff, but I'm not as into looking into things like voice actors or history and stuff anymore. The past few years of industry drama utterly drained me and killed a lot of my love and passion for entertainment in general, and it was time to realize that, step back, and let myself begin just enjoy watching things again. Which I have been doing slowly. It's sad, but accepting that I don't want a part of the animation world and remain a casual fan was the right thing to do. I'll always love it, but I don't want to be a part of that world as a career or anything anymore.

Doing so has helped me decide on what I want to do though. Mom had been trying to convince me for years to get into culinary since I both liked it and was good at it. I was reluctant because it's VERY high stress... but I've gotten really into baking and I've decided that I'd like to pursue that as a career. It's fun, not so stressful that I can't handle it, and I'm good at it. I'm hoping to go back to school as the community college here has a culinary program where I can get a baking certification. But yeah, it was a life change that needed to happen.

Otherwise, this was one of my calmer years. There wasn't some major family tragedy for the first time in like five years, Thank God. I turned 30... so I'm old. We adopted out dog Dante that past December and I utterly love him with all my heart. I got my learner's permit a few days ago so I'm one step closer to being able to get my life going. I've fully accepted being sapphic and once I can drive and stuff I'd like to be able to start maybe dating for the first time. I think overall I finally realized how stilted my life had become since my dad died in 2018, but I lacked any motivation and drive to change it or do anything. IDK what's changed, but I want to start living my life and continuing to make progress on that is my goal for 2024.

Fandom life has been a lot slower. Probably as a result of me realizing that I should actually focus on my real life. But it's not dead either. RWBY Volume 9 finally came out and while I almost quit when it did, I stuck to it. I'm glad I did because it's now my favorite volume of the show and while I'm honestly convinced V10 won't happen, if it does I'll be here for it. My TOS passion got reignited, so much so that I had to make a sideblog to contain it all. I haven't really gotten into anything new, really with the state of things, I'm almost afraid to even try any new shows. Like I said, I've been focusing on just enjoying stuff again so it's just been whatever I see around getting reblogged. I guess that made things dull on here, but it did good for me, and in the end that's what I use this blog for. I've even started to get back into fanfic writing after all the RT drama got to me so bad I quit after finally getting over my writing anxiety. But I hope that's a good sign of finally moving forward.

Overall, I know that the world is in dire straits right now. My personal life wasn't too bad this year, but it sucks to think bout how so many have suffered and I can't really do anything about it. Like I said, I hope that 2024 will be better for everyone. Regardless I hope that you all have a Happy New Year and as we enter Year 12 of the blog, I thank you all once again for having stuck with me. See you all in 2024~!