#I've been getting help though and I think I'm getting on the rebound

[calisources]

𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂, 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋, 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences have been taken from different media to be compiled into a list. This is not a meme for minors, the content here goes from mild to highly sexual, topics like dominance, submissive, bondage,praise kink and breeding are all present so discretion is key. Change names, pronouns, locations as you see fit.

You are perfect. And now you wear my mark, your ass is mine.

Tie me up, please…

Kiss me hot,heavy,wet & angry with that attitude like you do when your mouth yells it hates me but your tongue screams it can’t wait for me.

Let me undress your body, caress your skin and wetly massage your mind back into making love to me again.

They wanted her. They all loved her. And they wanted to keep her.

A little vanilla never hurt anybody.

If you have any sense you’ll stay away from him.

Touch me, like this, like a good girl.

That’s it, use your tongue. 

I'd planned to have you on your bed the first time, but maybe I should take you here, by the mirror, so you can see how splendid we are together.

I’m not going to deny that I want to fuck you. I cannot do anything else, But I will say that I have plans for you if you say yes.

I’ll fuck you so good, for so long that the only thing you’ll crave is my hands on your skin, my cock deep in your pussy.

I want a second serving of you. I’m hard just thinking of your perfect breasts and hard nipples.

As much as I appreciate that, right now you’re all I want to eat.

Now will you please sit on my face already?

You are corrupting me, Theo.

But you like being corrupted, don't you, sweet girl?

The destruction of something beautiful can appear so entertaining.

If women were totally satisfied with their sexual and lovemaking experiences, women would welcome the lovemaking experience as much as men.

I want to learn from you. Teach me what you know.

Once I make you mine, you will be mine forever. I will call you and you will come, in more ways than one.

What have I taught you? Show me, sweet girl.

Use your thighs, ride like it’s your last day on this earth.

I been aching to be inside you since we met, you devil woman.

Hands braced against the wall, and open your legs.

You tasted sweet, like oranges, liquid sunshine in my mouth.

I need you. Every pore of my being is begging. This is what we do.

The things I want from you, darlin’, will give you nightmares, ones like you’ve never had before.

If you could read my mind, I’m pretty sure you’d either be traumatized, sexually aroused or both.

The nicer you treat her outside the bedroom, the naughtier it will get inside the bedroom.

Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.

That’s it. You can take a lot more, don’t you? Hold on to me.

If you behave, I’ll let your hands go and touch me.

I love your skinny legs, and what's between them.

 I don't want words, but inarticulate cries.

All you have to do is beg, and I will give you what you want.

I want you splayed out on the table like my own personal feast.

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair. Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.

You make the sweetest little noises. But I need you to be louder, let everyone know.

It's like an itch, isn't it? You can feel it in your throat. You want to scream for me.

Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I've been here. Only me. You are mine.

I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin, do they?

And ye whimper under me, and struggle as though you wanted to get away, and I know it's only that you're struggling to come closer, and I'm fighting the same fight.

I can help you with that.

Forgetting him. Moving on. I’m okay with being your rebound. I’ve already said that I want you.

You’ll give yourself to me? Let me take control? Let me send you over the edge of ecstasy time and again until you awaken?

Possess. Have. Hold. Enjoy. Control. Dominate. Pick your verb, Ms. Fairchild. I intend to explore so very many of them.

I feel claimed.

You’re so primed. I can feel that hot little pussy clenching around me every time I move a muscle or say a word.

Yeah, arch your back so I can look at you going nice and tight around my fingers.

Pet, I give you permission to be as vocal as you wish, because I am going to blow your mind in a few minutes and I want to hear how much you enjoy the ride.

If you want me to touch you, all you have to do is ask. It would be my pleasure -  and yours.

Watch me make love to you.

I'd like to bite that lip.

I want you sore, baby.

I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you.

There is no room in my body for anything but you.

Eat me, drink me; thirsty, cankered, just take me as I am.

I live for sex. I celebrate it, and relish the electricity of it, with every fibre of my being.

I’m not wearing anything underneath. Want to see?

You will be staying here until I’ve deemed it safe for you to go back to your life. Do you understand me?

Dominate you? Yes. Master you? yes. Make you yield to what you want, make you surrender to who you truly are? Yes.

Why don’t you scream my name? Let every other man and woman who you belong to.

I don’t want to think, I just want to feel.

I taught you everything you know. Every man after me is just a shadow of what I did to you.

I knew you could be a good girl.

You were fucking made for me.

God is not gonna save you from me, baby.

My mouth wants you, I want to feel you in my mouth, way down in my mouth.

I am moist between the legs.

I came three times. During sex. 

Do you know all the ways a Lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you?

You stay right where daddy puts you, baby girl.

Wait until you taste her. She is fucking delicious.

Lick my fingers and feel how wet you are.

Are there big, bad monsters in the woods who want to eat me up?

Right there, don’t stop. I can feel it. 

Please come in me, I don’t care, I want to feel you.

Where do you want it, baby girl? Your cunt, your mouth or your neck?

Close your eyes and relax. One kiss. I don’t bite.

Seriously? In the morning, again? 

You said to rest but I can feel you hard against my back. 

You can do all the rest sweet, let me take care of you.

I want you to fuck me, Chris.

A little playful banter never hurt — or did it?

One should always explore something, before one goes in deeper.

Come here and undress me.

How am I supposed to do my job when all I can think about is getting back to you?

Someone could walk in on us. 

Better be good and come fast, then. Or everyone will see you begging for more.

I can imagine my hands getting your fucking clothes off right now.

Do not shy away from the sensations I create, Cherry Blossom. Take pride in them, as I do.

Am I doing it good, baby? Just like you taught me? 

Tell me I’m a good girl. Your only girl. 

When I come, I come for you. Because of you and your mouth, hands, and insatiable little cunt.

My tongue, my fingers, my cum inside you. Just you and me, Eva. Intimate and raw.

How many have been with you ever since? Or no one compared? Tell me.

Show me then. I demand that you show me. That’s an order.

[aq2003]

really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:

(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")

this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks

i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:

(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)

freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for agreeing to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding even though I think she's making a huge mistake?

(Emojis so I recognize it 👰‍♀️💍🤵)

So my (24F) cousin Anna (21F) got engaged at the start of December. This was really surprising to me because the last time I saw her at Thanksgiving she was just starting to get back into dating via tinder after a couple bad breakups, and she wasn't actively seeing anyone yet. When I got home for Christmas break, my mother told me that Anna had gotten engaged to and moved in with her new boyfriend, Evan (~22/23M), an army guy she'd met three weeks before and that no one but her immediate family had even met yet.

Our family has always been pretty close, and this was concerning for a lot of reasons. 1) she literally just had a nasty breakup with her rebound boyfriend after a nasty breakup with her last long-term relationship, making this guy her 4th serious boyfriend this year, 2) she historically has very bad taste in men, every boyfriend she has ever had had treated her horribly and she ties her entire self-worth up into how her boyfriend sees her so she's literally never been single for more than a couple weeks since high school, 3) her older sister (28F) literally just left a 13 year abusive relationship with the guy who started grooming her when she was 15 and he was 28, 4) the groom is about to ship out for a 9 month deployment a month after their March wedding and military men are notorious for cheating or divorcing on long deployments, 5) she wants her dream wedding in March (giving us only 2 months to plan and fundraise), despite her parents already being in tight financial straits bc they started building a house right before unexpectedly needing to take in and help provide for their eldest daughter and her two kids and both my grandparents (who live with them) having sudden drops in their health to the point where my grandfather probably will pass in the next couple months and my grandmother could pass at any time (though tbf, were pretty sure no one has told Anna this since my grandparents don't want to scare her and her mom's in denial).

I also just really don't like the groom bc the one time I met him he made a ton of racist and homophobic jokes despite there being multiple black and queer family members present, but if that were the only thing I could probably bite my tongue since I don't think that's something that bothers her or anyone else in the family. I'm just really worried about her, since it seems like she's been going through something for a while and I know how hard this is on my whole family, especially my grandparents, since we all are really scared about what's going to happen to her if things go wrong and considering the circumstances, that's a good chance this will go wrong.

I want to make it clear, I do really want this to work out for her. She's head over heels in love and he seems to care about her too. I just don't expect it to go well and I've said as much to anyone who asked how I feel about it.

Here's where I could be the asshole: Anna's really having a hard time with the entire family telling her this is a bad and impulsive idea, feeling like everyone who has a problem with it isn't supporting her. She called and asked me to be a bridesmaid, specifically because "you've always looked out for and supported me even when no one else did, so I really want you to be my bridesmaid." I told her I would love to be there and support her however she wanted me to, and I fully intend to be the best bridesmaid I can be because I want this to be a happy memory for her and to take as much stress off her and her parents as possible. But now she thinks I support this marriage when I definitely don't and have been open about that with both our moms as well as her sister (the maid of honor), my SIL (also a bridesmaid), and my brother (a groomsman), all of whom are in the same boat.

So, am I the asshole for agreeing to be my cousin's bridesmaid while thinking she's making a big mistake?

What are these acronyms?

[cielcreations]

"Hung Up"

When Solidarity confessed his feelings to Tango, expressing his love and desire and asking the other on a date, Tango immediately said yes. He was so happy and excited, especially since he had been crushing on the other for what felt like years. They went on a couple of dates, smiling, laughing, getting to know one another, having fun.

"So, does this make us boyfriends?" Tango teased.

Solidarity blushed and smiled, going to say something before he paused. He seemed to remember something, then sighed, "Listen, I'm going to be completely upfront with you because I do want to be your boyfriend and stuff, but I have this... ex..."

"Is it a crazy stalker ex?"

"Not really. Just..." The dirty blonde tried to think of a way to word it, "He and I share a big friend group and he has convinced them that I'm apparently still hung up on him and that he was so kind to continue being my friend even though we broke up. Oh, and the reason I haven't dated anyone is cause I'm totally waiting for him to come back!" He groaned, visibly annoyed as sarcasm laced his voice, "Hell, he's convinced my siblings of this when he's the one calling me drunk in the middle of the night!"

"Why haven't you blocked him, if you don't mind me asking?" Tango questioned.

The dirty blonde sighed, "It's cause of the friend group we share. I've always been really awkward, so I just became friends with my siblings friends and then when I began dating Scott, my ex, I became friends with his friends. I don't really have a lot of my own friends and, if I block him, everyone would make it this big deal, like I broke the law or something and I just..." He sighed again, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to vent..."

"No, no, it's fine." The blonde reassured with a smile, gently putting a hand on his shoulder, "I understand. It's probably really annoying and frustrating and I'm guessing you don't have a lot of people to talk to about this."

Solidarity weakly nodded, "...I just don't want to rock the boat. Makes my anxiety shoot through the roof. If I just go with it, no matter how uncomfortable I am, it'll be fine."

Tango hugged him, "But that's not healthy, Soli..."

"I-I know, I know... I just don't know what to do..."

"We'll work on it, okay? First step to fixing a problem is acknowledging there is a problem, so you're on the right track already!"

Solidarity laughed before he hummed, "Anyways, all this to say that if we do start dating and you get these comments about how I'm supposedly not over Scott or how you're 'just a rebound', that's untrue and ignore it. Scott and I broke up in high school."

"Wait, wait, with how you talked about this, this sounds like a recent break up! You guys broke up in high school?"

"Yep. And trust me, I know." He sighed, "It's why I moved here, mainly to put some distance between myself and the friend group and my siblings. I don't want them to choose between Scott and I, but I just don't want to hear how hung up I apparently am or how I need to get back in the dating field or if I ignore Scott or don't do something for him, I'm holding a grudge!" He huffed.

Tango hugged him more, "Well, don't worry, I'm not one to take shit lying down! If they want to poke fun, I poke back but harder!" He giggled, "In the meantime, why don't I introduce you to my friends? It'll be good to meet new people, plus it will help to keep your mind of things!"

Solidarity smiled, "I'd like that."

The two became an official couple, Tango showing Solidarity off to all his friends. Solidarity asked Tango if he was okay with him waiting before he told his friends and siblings, Tango not minding. In the meantime, the dirty blonde fit right in with Skizz, Impulse, Zed, Bdubs, and Etho. With his clumsy, adorable but sweet attitude, it meshed well with the chaotic mess that could be Skizz and Zed in the same room. Solidarity also got along with Etho and Impulse, the three usually acting as the peacemakers when Tango and Bdubs joined in on whatever chaos Zed and Skizz tried to bring. It was overall a great thing and Tango could see his beautiful boyfriend seemed to glow even more. It was like a dark cloud he noticed that was always over Solidarity's head seemed to finally disappear, especially since he's been on his phone or computer less, talking to that friend group less.

One night, the group were all at Impulse's house, sharing a few drinks and laughs, when Solidarity's phone buzzed. He hummed, a bit tipsy as he answered the phone without checking the caller ID.

"Hello-" He paused and his face fell immediately. He looked at Tango, who looked at him, concerned. Solidarity then seemed to get an idea, eyes widening as he smirked, "Okay, wait one second, hold on!" He put the phone on speaker, leaning into Tango, "Can you hear me?"

"Yeaaaah?" A Scottish voice responded in a questioning tone.

"Okay, good." He then looked at the blonde, playing with his hair, "Tango, Light, could you introduce yourself to Scott for me?"

Tango's eyes widened before he smirked, taking the phone, "Hello Mr. Scott, my name is Tango Tek, aka light of Solidarity's life, aka his honey, aka his handsome man, aka his soulmate, aka his rancher, aka his boyfriend, and we are actually currently in the middle of making out so we would appreciate no more interruptions! I know it's been awhile for you, but I need Soli's soft lips on mine, it is quite addicting! To bad you can't experience it! Buh-byyyyyyyye~!" He hung up, everyone laughing as the blonde gave Solidarity his phone back and kissed his cheek.

"Who was that?" Zed asked.

Tango wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, "Crazy ex."

"Crazy stalker ex?" Etho prodded.

"Not stalker level yet." Solidarity reassured, "But definitely crazy ex. From high school."

"Yep, that'll do it." Bdubs joked, "Anyone need another drink? I'm heading to the kitchen."

The night continued and everyone slept over, seeing as they were not going to drink and drive. Tango and Solidarity shared the couch, the dirty blonde acting as Tango's blanket as they cuddled and slept together. So, it made it very obvious when Solidarity got off the couch, causing the blonde to stir as his weighted blanket was no longer there. He sat up, glancing around before hearing something outside. Tango walked outside and saw Solidarity, very clearly frustrated, tears in his eyes with the tension in his body.

"...Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, i didn't tell you guys for this exact reason?!" Solidarity yelled, "...Yeah, you're my brother, and yet you constantly choose Scott over me! Don't-! ...No, you can't even say that, don't you dare say that! I've told you repeatedly that Scott makes me uncomfortable, that I don't like him being around, and you, with everyone else, brushed me off because I 'have to get over him!'" The dirty blonde said in a mocking voice with air quotes.

He was silent, before hissing out, "He called me! The only reason you all now know I'm dating is cause Scott can't get over the fact I moved two hours away from everyone and refuse to give him my address or pick him up when he goes out drinking! I was going to tell you all on my time, but of course, Scott ruined it because he fucking ruins everything! So, yes, I am dating someone! Okay?! Happy?! Bye!" He hung up.

Tango moved and hugged him, Solidarity leaning into him. The blonde rubbed the other's back, feeling Solidarity shake in frustration as his tears stained Tango's shirt. Tango cooed and rubbed circles into his back, kissing his forehead.

"I'm so sick of him..." The dirty blonde murmured.

Tango nodded, "Do you want me to block him for you?"

"No, it-"

"I can be the bad guy. If he complains, tell him and his flying monkeys that I feel uncomfortable with your ex trying to talk with you."

Solidarity hummed, "Later... Just hold me now..."

Tango hugged him tighter, "Gladly."

After everyone had woken up and began eating breakfast, Tango took Solidarity's phone, sending Scott a text and prefaced it by saying it was him and how he didn't feel comfortable with Scott talking to Solidarity when they were together and to please not text or call him anymore before blocking him. When the two got home, Solidarity had gotten a bunch of texts from his brother and sister as well as mutual friends he had with Scott, all saying how they didn't know he was dating someone new, asking why he didn't tell them, and then asking why Tango blocked Scott.

"The more they talk, the more I just want to go no contact." Solidarity admitted, "It's always about Scott. If I don't help him, I'm an asshole holding a grudge over the breakup. If I do help, I'm still hung up. Blocking him for 'no reason' is not okay and I need to let go. I'm just so over this."

Tango took his phone and shut it off, "Okay, let's just forget about electronics for the day. How about we do something to get your mind off things?"

"Like what?"

Tango kissed his cheek, smiling, "We could go to the bedroom~?"

"Oh my god!" Solidarity laughed, "Trying to get in my pants when this is serious talk?"

"Serious does not mean important! Besides, it'll make sure your mind is only on me soooooo~?"

"You're ridiculous." The dirty blonde kissed his nose, smiling, "Let's go."

When Solidarity turned his phone on the next day, he sent a simple text to everyone.

Solidarity:  Yes, I'm in a new relationship, I have been for two months. I didn't say anything because I wanted to wait and get more serious. I also don't want to jeopardize this relationship. Out of respect for Tango, and myself, I'm going to ask you to stop trying to get me to talk with Scott. 

Of course, people tried to ask more questions, but he made another text, simply saying "I don't feel comfortable sharing anymore details. Please just respect my boundaries." Of course, some complained, but he just closed his phone, ignoring it.

"I think they're starting to see you've developed quite a backbone!" Tango encouraged.

"Thanks to you, really." The dirty blonde smiled, "I really like you and our relationship means more to me than that friend group. Time to actually prove it, I guess."

"I'm proud of you." Tango kissed his lips, "I know it's hard putting down boundaries and sticking up for yourself, but once you get used to it, it becomes easier."

Solidarity nodded, smiling.

***

Solidarity didn't introduce Tango to his brother and sister and the friend group for about a year. Tango respected his decision and understood why, judging from their reactions when the dirty blonde first blocked Scott, he wasn't sure they would even accept that Solidarity actually moved on. However, it was Christmas and Solidarity explained he had been skipping the past couple holidays because he knew Scott would be there and didn't want to deal with the inevitable.

"It's been a year and we've been together ever since. Why don't we give them a chance?"

Solidarity was hesitant, "...I don't know."

"Come on, please?" Tango hugged him, "I can handle myself just fine, love! And I can shut them down! You know I can!"

The dirty blonde hesitated again before he sighed, "The moment I feel uncomfortable and ask you to pack your stuff, we leave."

"Of course!"

So, they made their way to Solidarity's brother's house, two hours away. Solidarity tapped anxiously on the steering wheel, biting his bottom lip.

"It's okay, we'll be fine." Tango reassured, able to see the other white-knuckling the steering wheel.

"I-I just-!" He took a deep breath, "I know Scott is probably going to be there and he's going to mention our high school days a lot." 

Tango shrugged, "Okay?"

"We used to call ourselves 'Flower Husbands' because we were teenagers exploring our sexuality or how he was my first relationship or how he was my first kiss or how he was my first whatever else." The dirty blonde rolled his eyes, sighing, "He's just going to try to embarrass me or make you jealous or something else."

"Was he your first? In, like, the bedroom department?"

Solidarity blushed darkly, "T-TANGO!"

"Yes or no?"

"I-I already told you, you were my first- oh..." The dirty blonde chuckled, "You are going to use that, aren't you?"

The blonde snickered, "Of course! I'll just mention how I deflowered one of the Flower Husbands and maybe it'll shut him up!"

"Idiot." Solidarity teased.

They continued talking and laughing, having an amazing time as they distracted themselves while driving. Eventually, they pulled up to the house and Solidarity sighed, taking a deep breath. There were a couple of cars already crowding the driveway, so Solidarity just parked in the grass. Tango was the first to step out, but the dirty blonde didn't move. He went to the driver's side, opening the door and kneeling down. He could see the other shaking a bit, biting his bottom lip anxiously, tapping his fingers on the wheel.

"It's okay." Tango reassured, cupping his face, "Soli, it's fine. You know me, I won't get jealous or feel threatened or whatever, no matter what anyone says."

"I-I know, I just..." Solidarity leaned into his touch, closing his eyes as he shook a bit, "I'm not worried about you..."

"Excuse me?"

Tango turned, seeing a brunette woman standing on the porch.

"Can I help you?" She asked, "Are you lost? This is private property."

"Uh, no, I'm not lost! Hi, I'm Tango, Soli's boyfriend!" Tango explained, standing up.

"'Soli?'" She repeated, confused.

"Solidarity?" Tango explained, "I-I call him Soli!"

Solidarity hesitantly got out of the car, Tango hovering over him. He shut the car door and smiled, but the man could see the anxiety written on his face still. Solidarity took Tango's hand in his, the blonde squeezing reassuringly.

"Hi Pearl." Solidarity smiled, relaxing a bit as he motioned to the blonde, "This is Tango. My boyfriend for a year and three months."

"Four months, really! I just wanted to take you out on a lot of pre-boyfriend dates!" Tango argued.

"Don't tell on yourself, Tango, my sister will think you're a coward for waiting a month to officially ask to be my boyfriend." The dirty blonde teased before looking at Pearl, "It's good to see you."

The brunette laughed, "Awww, you both are cute. It's nice to meet you Tango!" She walked over, hugging her brother, "And good to see ya, Jim. Come on! We're still waiting on a couple of people!"

They walked inside and Solidarity introduced Tango to Grian, his brother, and then some of the people in the friend group. Gem and Fwhip (who were twins), Joel and Lizzie (a married couple), Cleo, Scar, and Mumbo. All were polite, introducing themselves.

"Other people will be coming, but it's good to finally meet Solidarity's secret boyfriend!" Joel teased, raising an eyebrow, "Scott will be coming, hope it won't make you uncomfortable." He said in a nice tone, but Tango and Solidarity knew he was mocking the blonde.

Solidarity narrowed his eyes slightly, annoyed.

However, Tango just smiled, "Actually, it'd be great to meet the person who drunk called at two am and immediately hung up when I answered!" He said in the same nice voice before he looked at the dirty blonde, fake gasping, "WAIT! Do you think he hung up cause he had a crush on me?! Oh my god, Soli, I'm not prepared, where's the bathroom! I need to make myself presentable!"

Everyone laughed besides Joel, who narrowed his eyes a bit. Solidarity looked at Joel, took Tango's hand and kissed the blonde's cheek before pulling him to the couch. Everyone either caught up with Solidarity or got to know Tango better. Occasionally, either Fwhip or Joel would slip in a snarky comment about Tango blocking Scott or feeling uncomfortable with Scott, but disguised it as playful banter. Tango never took the bait, laughing it off or giving it right back.

At one point, he asked Joel, "Oh, so Lizzie must still talk to her exes, right? Seeing as you're so interested in Soli talking to his!"

Joel actually seemed shocked by this, responding, "Uh, no? Why would she? We're married, I wouldn't want her doing that."

"Huh, weird that you wouldn't want your wife talking to her exes." Tango looked at Solidarity, "I couldn't imagine that."

"Me either." Solidarity hummed, looking at Joel, "Anyways, what were you saying about Scott?"

That seemed to be the moment Joel sort of backed off. Fwhip still tried to get under Tango's skin, but Solidarity knew his boyfriend was a master of "not giving a shit". He watched Tango take whatever was thrown at him and either laughed it off or gave the same energy right back. He smiled and leaned into the other, happy.

However, after about an hour and a half, a couple more people arrived. Tango was introduced to Sausage, Martyn and Ren (a couple, Martyn being one of the ones who Solidarity actually talked to on a regular basis and who Tango immediately liked as the blonde whispered to him "Scott's a huge dick but has everyone wrapped around his finger, don't let him get to you or Timmy."), Big B, and Cub.

And, of course, Scott.

The man was last to arrive. He walked in and everyone, besides Solidarity, Tango, Martyn, and Ren, cheered, saying hi to him and giving him a hug. Scott laughed and hugged back before turning. He gasped as his eyes landed on Solidarity, smiling brightly.

"Dary, oh my god, it's been forever! How are you? It's so good to finally see you again!" He opened his arms to give the other a hug.

Tango could see his boyfriend stiffen up. So, he stepped in front of him and hugged Scott instead, "Hi! It's nice to finally meet you! I've heard so much about you from Grian, Joel, and Fwhip!" Scott pulled back, confused, but Tango held his hand, shaking it.

"Oh, uh, who are-?"

"It's such a pleasure to meet you! My name is Tango!" The blonde smiled innocently, "I'm Soli's boyfriend! We've been dating for a year and four months, not that anyone is counting."

"Three. You insisted on taking me on one month pre-boyfriend dates." Solidarity laughed.

"But we were still exclusive!" Tango turned around and gave Solidarity a hug, the dirty blonde happily returning it, "So that month counts!"

"You know what? It's Christmas, we'll let it count!"

"Yes!" The blonde cheered before he looked back at Scott, leaning into the dirty blonde. Solidarity wrapped one arm around his shoulders as Tango hugged his side, smiling at the other, "Anyways, yeah, it's so nice to finally meet you!"

Solidarity offered his other hand, seeing as the one was wrapped around Tango and too occupied for a hug, "Good to see you again, Scott."

Scott was obviously displeased, but smiled, shaking Solidarity's hand, "You too, Dary."

The man left to greet everyone else as Martyn and Ren walked towards Tango and Solidarity.

"Well damn, I like you." Martyn chuckled, whispering, "You sure know the rules of Scott's game."

Tango smiled innocently, "No idea what you're talking about."

Solidarity laughed, "Mar and I fake dated for awhile in hopes of Scott dropping the whole 'I'm hung up' shtick, and he's never acted like that."

"You got under his skin good." Ren complimented, the four looking at Scott, who was talking with Joel and Lizzie, "He's just going to step up his game."

"Good." Tango chuckled, "I hope so. Soli, how uncomfortable am I going to make everyone?"

"You have my complete consent to do whatever you want to do."

"Ohoho, that's dangerous, Love."

"It is for them, Light."

For the night, Tango stuck to Solidarity like glue, acting like the clingiest boyfriend in the world and Solidarity couldn't be happier with it. They mainly sat on the couch and talked with others, Scott moving to sit beside them occasionally. Because Solidarity was sitting against the arm rest and Tango was next to him, Scott simply sat on Tango's other side, even though he seemed a bit unhappy about it. The conversation flowed with people asking Solidarity how he was doing, if he would be visiting more, and asking Tango about his work, what he did, etc.

Scott would try to bring up something about an old date, but Tango would "accidentally" interrupt, telling a story about their first date or the time Solidarity taught Tango how to ice skate or the time Tango showed Solidarity a trick he knew on how to always win claw machines, even taking out his phone and gushing about the cat he and Solidarity adopted together that Solidarity named Norman.

"He loves naming animals human names, it's sooooooo cute!" Tango giggled before gasping, turning to look at Scott, "Oh, sorry, I hope you don't mind! I'm just so happy to finally meet everyone! I mean, Soli was so scared coming down here, thinking I wouldn't be accepted or fit in. I'm sure you've had to help him through an anxiety or panic attack before, right!"

Scott stared, "No, actually, I haven't."

"Oh, really?" Tango asked, faking confusion because he knew the answer.

"Wait, since when have you had anxiety, Solidarity?" Fwhip asked.

Gem elbowed him, "Dude. Not how you ask."

"It's cool Gem, I was only recently diagnosed so I don't blame him." Solidarity chuckled, smiling awkwardly before looking at Tango, "It was I think two months after I met you? So that's... what, two years?"

"That sounds about right." He looked at the rest of the group, smiling innocently, "He must've changed a lot since high school if no one noticed." He hummed, looking at Scott, "Poor thing was so nervous no one would like me! He was so scared no one would accept me because they all were hung up on you and your past relationship!" 

Scott narrowed his eyes a bit, Solidarity blushing as he let out a "T-Tango!"

Everyone laughed, either not noticing the slight accusation or choosing to ignore it, conversation continuing to flow. At one point, Solidarity had to use the bathroom, the man standing up to go. Tango playfully cried out an "Don't leave me!", the group continuing to laugh, talk, and joke.

"Oh, Tango, I have to ask-" Scott smiled innocently at the blonde, "-does Dary still get embarrassed over PDA? I swear, kissing him is like pulling teeth sometimes!"

"No, actually! He loves to share kisses with me! He's such a giver, it's adorable!" Tango giggled, smiling back innocently, "He's such a cuddler too, he's like a puppy sometimes!"

"I guess that makes sense. I was his first kiss after all, he was so embarrassed about it. I could hardly get him to stay still sometimes!" Scott had a sly smirk on his face, "Guess you can thank me for his confidence! He learned from the best!"

"Nah, it's thanks to me! After all-" He leaned towards Scott, whispering in his ear as he smirked, "-I was the first one to get him to spread his legs."

Scott blushed darkly, eyes widening.

"His entire body was red, he was so embarrassed the first time. But now? I can't keep up, half the time. You should see him on his knees, begging. He's so good at it. He really is like a dog." Tango pulled away, smiling innocently, "A good one! The best one!"

Before anyone could ask or say anything, Solidarity came back. He sat next to Tango, the blonde smirking at Scott. He grabbed the other's chin and pulled him in for a kiss, Solidarity kissing back with no hesitation, even wrapping an arm around his waist. When they pulled back, Tango leaned into him, Solidarity keeping his arm in it's place.

Solidarity laughed a bit, face turning red, "You're ridiculous!"

"You love it!"

Scott excused himself to the bathroom, Tango just smiling.

Eventually, dinner was done and everyone got their plates of food. Scott had come back and got his own food. Tango and Solidarity hadn't noticed that they had switched places (with Tango by the arm rest), so Scott sat beside Solidarity. The blonde went to move or say something, but Solidarity gave him an "it's fine" look and smile. Everyone sat around in the living room, talking, bouncing stories off each other, Tango excitedly listening to the stories of young Solidarity, who either blushed in embarrassment or yelled to "not tell that one!" They asked Tango and Solidarity questions about them and their relationship, what it was like living two hours away, if they had any plans to move back, overall having a good time. 

Until the alcohol was brought out.

Grian offered cups to everyone, Tango looking at Solidarity.

"You drink as much as you want, I'll drive." Solidarity reassured with a smile.

"Can you drive me too, then?" Scott asked, holding his own cup and beginning to gently draw shapes on his arm.

Solidarity stiffened, "I'm sure someone else can, Tango and I have to go in the opposite direction of your place."

"Awwww, you used to do it all the time when we would sneak alcohol." Scott chuckled, "Remember when we would steal my from my dad's stash? Grian caught us one time and was pissed!"

"Yeah, cause I thought Solidarity had never drank before, especially when you were both fifteen!" Grian teased.

Scott laughed, everyone did, but Solidarity and Tango. Tango held Solidarity's hand, rubbing circles in his palm to try and ground him as the other was stiff.

"Come on, I don't drink and drive and I left my car at home knowing about the alcohol! Are you gonna leave this power damsel all by himself?" Scott teased, drawing flower shapes on Solidarity's arm, "Will Tango not let you?" He accused, but said it in a teasing manner, everyone but Solidarity, Tango, Martyn, and Ren chuckling a bit.

The blonde could feel Solidarity tense up more. He smiled innocently, "Scott, why do you always ask Soli, are you still hung up on him?"

"H-Huh?! What, no, he-"

"Then I think it's weird how you always ask Soli." Tango said in the same teasing voice, though his accusation was more clear.

"He's right, Scott!" Martyn called, also having that teasing voice, "You know what, Ren can take us home! Ren's not allowed to drink outside our house!"

"It was one time!" Ren groaned playfully, both still trying to keep the playful energy, trying to ease the tension.

"One too many times!"

Solidarity was still stiff.

Tango spoke up, "Listen, if I convince him to take you home, will you promise we won't get a drunk call? Look how beautiful Soli is! He gets more pretty in his sleep and I can't have you ruining my eye candy!"

Scott flushed before he smiled, recovering with, "Come on, can't we share him? I mean, he already has me blocked because I make you uncomfortable, I just want to spend more time with him! He rarely visits nowadays!"

"Gee, I wonder why." Solidarity said, unable to mask his annoyance.

Tango stopped the teasing, looking at the other, "Soli-"

"What's wrong, Dary?" Scott asked, still tracing shapes on his arm.

Solidarity took a deep breath and retracted his arm, standing up, "Tango, get your things, we're leaving."

Tango stood up and grabbed his and Solidarity's things, seeing as Grian and Pearl stood up, trying to stop their brother, everyone else too stunned to move or say anything at the suddenness.

"Timmy, what's wrong?" "Nothing, I just want to leave-" "Come on Jim, it's Christmas, please stay!" "Both of you, move, I want to leave!" "You were never like this before, what the hell happened?!" "You know what happened!" "No we don't because you refuse to talk or visit us half the time!" "I've told you why, you just refuse to listen to me!"

Tango grabbed Solidarity's arm, pulling him past them, "Come on, Love, just look down, I'll drive-"

"Hold on, we're talking-"

"With all due respect, Grian, your brother is about to have a panic attack!" Tango glared, standing in front of Solidarity, protecting him as the other shook. Martyn and Ren climbed over the couch and tried to calm him down as Tango hissed, "I'm trying to get him away from people and in a safe place so he can calm down! So, if you'll excuse us-"

"Oh, and you know so much more about him than me, right?!" Grian glared, "You guys have been together for a year and yet you know more than his own brother?"

"Apparently, I do, he moved away for a reason!" The blonde hissed.

"You-!"

"Come on, Soli-" 

Pearl grabbed Solidarity's arm, "Guys, please just calm down! Jimmy, if you need a safe place, you can go in your old room and-"

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I WANT TO LEAVE BECAUSE THIS WHOLE HOUSE FEELS UNSAFE?!" Solidarity screamed, facing Pearl, retracting his arm, "THIS ENTIRE HOUSE IS UNSAFE BECAUSE OF HIM!" He motioned to Scott.

"Dary, what-"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" The man faced the other, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU COUNTLESS TIMES, I DON'T LIKE THAT NICKNAME! I DON'T LIKE ANYONE WHO ISN'T FAMILY OR MY PARTNER USING A NICKNAME! I'VE TOLD YOU THAT, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AND I'VE TOLD YOU WHY, AND YOU REFUSE TO FUCKING LISTEN!"

"Hey, let's all just calm down!" Lizzie exclaimed, "Scott didn't do anything-"

"Shut up, Lizzie!" Solidarity growled.

"Woah, don't talk-"

"Shut up, Joel!" The dirty blonde repeated, motioning around the house, "THIS! This is why I don't come down here, this is exactly why! Everyone pushes my boundaries and then tells me to calm down, that I'm overreacting, that I'm being too sensitive, that I can't take a joke! So you know what?! FINE! I won't be back!"

"Solida-"

"NO! I'm tired of this, I'm tired of all this! I'm tired of being told I need to move on from Scott, that I need to let go of a grudge, that I need to just accept things, stuff that I have already done!" Solidarity looked at Scott, glaring, "I wish I never dated you if this is how you would react. Congrats, you've convinced everyone, including my own brother and sister, that I apparently am hung up on you! Despite the fact I have recorded voicemails of you crying, saying how you miss me, how you love me, how you wish we could go back to the way things were! Despite the fact I would pick you up so you didn't walk home drunk, and you tried to kiss me or make me stay the night! Despite the fact you would touch my arms and back and legs and I would not reciprocate, in fact, I would go stiff or tell you to stop, but you didn't care! Despite the fact I moved two hours away so I didn't have to deal with this! Yep, I'm still hung up on you! Tango is totally just a rebound and I am totally just waiting for you to confess your undying love for me so we can live happily ever after! Yep, that's exactly what I'm doing!"

He motioned towards the room, "And you all believe it! Let me tell you all the truth! Scott and I broke up amicably and I haven't looked back once! In fact, I blocked Scott, because I was uncomfortable, but Tango was gracious enough to take the fall because he knew the drama would stress me out!"

"Timmy, come on." Martyn gently pulled the other away, "You don't have to prove anything to anyone-"

"I-I am happy in my new relationship!" Solidarity whimpered, Tango hugging his arm as he was led out, "A relationship where I am respected, my feelings are considered, I can speak and not worry about if I say is the right or wrong thing, where I finally was able to grow a fucking spine! Unlike here, where I feel so shitty because you all make it seem like my comfortably doesn't matter." He was led to the door, "F-For future reference, if Scott is here, I'm not coming. If any of you try to make me apologize or try to reconcile, I will block you. I've been debating on doing this for months, but Tango thought I should give you all one more chance, see if you all have changed. Clearly, you haven't."

Solidarity was led to the car, getting in the passenger seat. Martyn and Tango calmed him down as Ren gathered his and Martyn's things. Once he was calm enough, Tango shut the door, thanking the two profusely. Martyn gave Tango his phone number, asking him to please just text or call him when they got home, Tango promising he would. Tango then got in the front seat and began to reverse, driving away. The dirty blonde gave him his phone, which was already beginning to blow up with texts and calls. Tango took it and shut it off. They sat in silence, the blonde holding Solidarity's hand as the other shook, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm proud of you." Tango reassured.

"...Thanks... You did really good... Not letting him get under your skin..." The dirty blonde shook, wiping his eyes, "I just couldn't, not when he began touching me..."

"I understand, Love."

"I'm s-"

"No need to apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Boundaries are for you, not for anyone else." Tango looked at him, smiling, "You should be proud."

Solidarity smiled a bit, "Thank you." He whispered meekly.

The two sat in a comfortable silence, driving home.

AN: This was more of just a story of setting boundaries and me projecting onto my comfort characters. Hope you liked it even if it was more of a vent kinda?

[thelampisaflashlight]

Everything Goes On Pt. 8

[Who were you before him? Time skip again. Not suitable for younger audiences. Previous Part here.] Below the cut.

"This is Brisket." Dew says, holding up quite possibly the least intimidating dog to grace the face of the Earth, "He's a Chiweenie."

"A... A Chiweenie?" Mountain stares at the little creature, currently giving him the most wet eyed look in return, "This is your new Hellhound?"

"Hey, he may not look like much, but he's fierce!"

Brisket yawns and gets his tongue stuck outside of his mouth.

"I took you for more of a big breed dog kind of guy." Mountain says, watching the puppy drop his head into the palm of Dew's hand.

"Nah, I mean, I love all kinds of dogs, but living in a dorm with a St. Bernard sounds like a nightmare. It's also easier to travel."

"Is Brisket going on the road with us for tour then?" Mountain asks, "He could probably fit in your carry on..."

"Maybe next tour, for now, I mean, look at this guy." He rocks his arm slightly and the puppy's ears flop side to side, "He wouldn't make it through the opening act."

Mountain laughs, "So, what prompted this?"

He gestures at Brisket, and then at Dew's new, shorter haircut.

"Companionship." Dew says, holding up Brisket, "And not having anyone around to stop me."

"Hm, well, it suits you." Mountain says, picking up Brisket's head in his hands to squish his tiny face around a little.

"The puppy or the hair?"

"I mean, Brisket... I can't believe you named him that... is quite handsome in his own right, but I meant your hair." Mountain clarifies, "Not that your old style didn't, too, this one's just, I dunno, refreshing? Is that a word people use to describe hair?"

Dew snorts.

"Why Brisket though?"

"He smells like beef." the ghoul motions for Mountain to sniff the dog.

"Like in a good way or a bad-" Mountain sniffs Brisket again, "-Why does he smell like he rolled around in a barbecue??"

"Legend has it he was born in the behind some kind of bar and grille that served some pretty good steak..."

It has been three months since Aether left.

Three.

A whole quarter of a year, and Dew's starting to feel a little more grounded.

It helps when he has two new ghouls to coach through the motions of being "human" -Actually, Brisket was his own sort of reward to himself for not completely messing that up.- between teaching Aeon how to use a fork and getting Aurora to wear underwear, Dew hasn't had time to think of much else.

He still has his moments where he wakes up in his new room and gets confused, where he reaches over to the right side of the bed only to be met with the cold bedspread, but once he discovered he could spread out across the mattress unimpeded by another body, he'd more or less stopped.

It's the little things, he supposes, taking solace in the creature comforts he had forgotten after having to share his space and find compromises to make his other half happy...

Sure, it sucks not being able to roll over in the morning and get sleepy cuddles, but now he can fit a little bed on the other half for Brisket to sleep in, and that more than makes up for that.

Aether liked dogs, too, but he'd never let one sleep in their bed, claiming it would "spoil" them.

Well, too bad, Aether, Brisket is going to be as spoiled as a prince of Hell.

That being said, though, Dew does miss having another ghoul in his bed, and while there had been offers...

"It just doesn't feel right." he tells Cumulus one afternoon, "Feels like I'm cheating even though... ya know."

"You and Aether were together for four years," she says, "it's okay to need time."

"I know, but I'm not... I'm not sure when it's okay to... start all of that again."

"Having sex?"

"Kind of, but, I mean more like..." he lowers his voice, "...dating."

"Ohhh..." Cumulus pats his arm, "I'd say don't rush into all of that. You know what they say about rebound relationships..."

"Actually I... I don't." Dew whispers, "Aether was the only person I've ever dated."

"How'd you two wind up together anyway?" Cumulus asks, "Not to be rude, I mean, you two are, like, polar opposites."

"Not completely." Dew starts counting on his fingers, "We had a couple key things in common; We liked dogs, beer, music, obviously, and..."

The tips of Dew's ears go red.

"And?"

"There's this thing he could do with his tongue that he taught me how to do-"

.

.

.

Cirrus is... frustrated.

Cumulus has been avoiding her.

Not really, it's just...

"Cir, I love you, but you're being a little... suffocating lately." the smaller ghoulette had confessed, "I won't go anywhere just because we're not cuddling every second of the day, you know?"

Cirrus presses her face into her pillow and screams.

She can't help it.

Lately, it feels like if she isn't physically connected to Cumulus, it feels like they're drifting apart.

It's Dew's fault honestly.

Ever since Aether left him, he's been leaning on Cumulus for emotional support, even though he's not the only person hurt by...

By...

Cirrus rolls over in her bed, squeezing her pillow to her chest.

The night before Aether broke up with Dew...

"...Fuck, Cir..."

"Mn... Aeth... You feel so good..."

They aren't exclusive.

None of them are exclusive.

But something about it had felt...

Forbidden.

Good.

And now that she has time to reflect on it, it felt a lot like a goodbye, too.

"Does Dew know you're here?"

"He does, he doesn't care."

"Typical Dew."

"Yeah."

Dew knew, so there was... there was no guilt there.

Cumulus had known, too, but...

"Why are you apologizing? We all mess around."

...Why had she wanted her to be angry?

"...What's wrong with me?"

.

.

.

Swiss will admit, sometimes he makes poor decisions in the heat of the moment that result in... unfortunate circumstances...

"Your dick looks like a fucking glowstick." Dew gapes, beside him, Rain is positively shaking trying to contain his laughter, "Jack it off too hard and accidentally crack it or something?"

"You know the guard you set me up with a while back?" Swiss asks, tucking himself back into his pants, "Yeah, uh, turns out no matter where you stick it, this happens."

"I-It's like you dunked your junk in a vat of highlighter ink..." Rain cackles, "Does it come off?"

"Takes, like, two to three days for the... the glow to fade."

"So if you decided to jack off with the lights off, would your cum also glow? Like is it soaked in that far? Or is it like a weird sunburn?" Dew asks.

"..."

"Swiss?"

"...I need to go test something."

And, honest to Satan's balls, that was what Swiss was intent on doing when in his haste to get back to his dorm, he bumped into a sibling of sin walking through the corridors with-

"Aether?"

[h-c-u]

Come fly with me, let's fly away...

Summary: You and Ice both like to fly, just in completely different ways. And he finally convinced you to take a jet ride with him.

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x fem!reader

W/C: 3.3k

Rating: PG, explicitly stated age gap (19 years). They met for the first time when the reader was 19 (Do I condone that in real life? HELL NO. SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BABY).

TWs: None.

A/N: This fic is happening not long after Ice became O-10, he's not married to Sarah, doesn't have any kids, and definitely isn't sick.

Also, the reader is described as really petite, but there are no allusions to ED or food in general; I just wanted that position to work :)

Also Yes, the reader owns her small house with a quite big garden at around 21 without having a job. How and why? Idk, I'm not in her bank account, ask her.

Masterlist | List of tags

- And you're sure it's fine...? You won't get into any trouble...? - You were nervously playing with a strap of his old helmet, he just handed you. Ice just got promoted, and you were still getting used to his new rank. 

- It's not like they can fire me now, dove... - oh that cocky smile that you wanted to rub from his face. Preferably with your fist. Or your own mouth. It didn't really matter, as long as he stopped. - But seriously, we're good. It's a holiday, everyone else is out celebrating, and I've put it as a training exercise, so we're fully covered when it comes to all the paperwork, please don't worry so much, squirrel. - he placed a quick kiss on the top of your head. It wasn't exactly your favorite nickname, but he didn't use it too often, only when he playfully teased you about your not-so-safe hobby. 

Because both of you loved to fly. He was just doing that in a metal can mounted to another can of explosives, and you were... well... Using a thin material to glide. Yet you couldn't help but feel much safer in your wingsuit than inside a jet, that's why it took so long for him to convince you, and right about now, you were seriously rethinking your decision. 

- Relax, dove. - you just couldn't help it. This plane in front of you was basically a killing machine, and even though you loved the adrenaline, you were extremely opposed to conflict and violence, and you sometimes wondered how you ended up with someone in the military, especially that high up.

Well, when you two met he wasn't exactly O-10... He was just promoted to captain. At first, it was supposed to be a rebound-one-night stand with a man literally twice your age (at that time), and on top of that, he was just about to be deployed, so there was literally no chance for a relationship. Yet you still told him you'd like to see him again when he comes back. Which was incredibly stupid and naive, but you were only 19 and he said yes, thinking that you'll forget all about him as soon as you'll meet someone younger while he was gods-know-where, doing gods-know-what.

And you did meet someone. But it fizzled out before it even started. The same thing happened 7 months after you met Ice, and you honestly tried to analyze this whole situation rationally. There were definitely downsides to hooking up with...? dating...? An older man. You weren't even sure what you wanted, so how the hell could you decide if you really wanted it? 

But when you saw him again at the bar, you weren't conflicted. You were just straight-up angry. Because even if he didn't mean it, he did say yes. And it all went quickly downhill from there, well at least for you, because he insisted that you just had to take everything so slowly. He literally didn't allow you to kiss him for four months straight, still hoping that somehow he'll be able to change your mind about him. But you were stubborn, although it was extremely hard for you to be so close to him, without even being able to touch him the way you wanted. There was a lot of pouting, but even more talking and spending time together. Every day after work he helped you in your garden; he even fixed up a shed for you, so the door didn't require a small tank to open and close anymore. 

He taught you many things and told you even more stories. Of course, he couldn't tell you every detail, but it was still nice to hear his voice, and you enjoyed simply watching him doing whatever; didn't matter if it was making pancakes, or working on his plane, as long as he was in your line of sight, you were satisfied. Not in every way, but enough. It took him a full year to realize that you weren't going anywhere. He was already practically living at your house, you put him down as one of your emergency contacts on every possible form, and your cat honestly preferred sleeping on his lap than on yours. And when it hit him, it did with full strength. You weren't even doing anything special... You were just sitting curled up in the giant armchair in his workshop, lazily sketching something in your notebook, and you were getting frustrated because you couldn't get it quite right. He didn't even tell you to come with him, you just showed up around lunch with a spare portion for him, and after you ate, you just stayed there, not even saying anything, because you didn't want to interrupt whatever he was doing. And that's what did it for him... A thing that you did dozens of times over the last year, but this time something in him clicked. 

It's not like he didn't want you with every atom of his body, but Ice-cold always had full control over his basic instincts. But right then and there, he made a conscious decision to do everything in his power to make you the happiest person on earth, and that included finally giving you the relationship you deserved. He of course insisted on never being added on a deed to your house and was very adamant that you'd keep your finances separate, even though he started contributing long before that conversation. He would always push you to explore and learn things on your own and was always there to cheer on you from the first row. And if you'd one day decide that you'd be happier elsewhere, he would let you go. But he didn't have to, because you had eyes only for him...

Even now, almost 7 years after your wedding you were still getting giddy whenever he would hug you or even smiled at you, that's exactly why you found yourself in pilot gear, even though you've never held a flying stick in your hands before. His old helmet was way too big for you, and eventually, he got you another one and that one fit. Even though his stoic presence usually was enough to calm you down, this time it wasn't so easy. It's not like you were afraid of flying; you used choppers in the past to get to the desired altitudes, but this was different. This was a war machine, and you frowned because an unpleasant thought entered your mind... Was this F-22 ever used to kill anyone? 

- Y/N....? - his voice pulled you from your spiral of thoughts, and you rested your gaze on his eyes. - C'mere, dove... - he repeated the request, reaching for your arm to pull you onto the wing he was currently standing on. Sure, he could have let you use a ladder, but this was much more fun. He didn't have any trouble pulling you up with one hand, and you would be lying if you said that his strength didn't turn you on, especially considering all the positions he was to hold you in for long periods of time. 

- And you're sure it's safe...? - you've repeated the question you already asked at least 20 times today. 

- I always managed to come back in those, so I'd say they have a pretty good record... - he said jokingly and started settling in the cabin. He did all the pre-flight checks before you joined him in the pilot seat. You checked earlier, and even with you sitting in front of him, on the same chair, there was enough space for him to reach everything he needed. Before you climbed in, he also loosened the safety belts, so you could fit in them with him, just in case. He didn't plan on doing anything crazy today, but he'd still rather be prepared for anything. - C'mere, dove... - he was done with the checks and was ready to finally take you flying his way. You settled cozily in front of him. It was a tight, but not impossible fit, and if you were being completely honest, you enjoyed having him so close to you... He reached around you and made sure that the emergency oxygen line was connected to your mask, connected your coms to his, and buckled you both in, so everything was properly secured. 

- Tower, this is Iceman, how do you read? - he started following the procedures, and you patiently kept quiet, sitting between his legs. Your compact size definitely had its perks, because at first, you were afraid that he wouldn't be able to see anything if you sat in front of him in a helmet, but fortunately, that wasn't a problem.

- Iceman, Tower, loud and clear, how me? - an unfamiliar voice replied through the comms. 

- Loud and clear. Take-off pre-checks complete. 

- Ready engines start. Iceman, you are clear to taxi. Runway number 2. Winds 21, 0, 10. - you've felt the jet move before you actually saw it moving because Tom was driving it extremely slowly to the designated runway as if he wanted to put you in warm water, so you could get used to it before it starts boiling.

- Fuel check - good. Cabin pressure check - good. Tower this is Iceman, requesting an unrestricted climb to 500 and above. 

- Iceman, the runway and skies are yours. 

- Iceman ready for takeoff. 

- Iceman, Tower. You are clear for takeoff. - you didn't know that, but at this moment he cut his mice on the line to the Tower. 

- You ready, dove...? - he asked, and you nodded. - It's gonna be a bumpy ride for a moment, but as soon as we'll be in the air it will be much calmer... - he informed you and gave you one last hug before he actually started accelerating on the runway. You couldn't help but close your eyes. It was so loud... You felt like the engines were exploding and the nose of the jet was ripping through the fabric of air... It wasn't pleasant, to say the least, and you couldn't imagine doing anything else under those conditions. There were so many systems, and Ice knew them like the back of his hand, and wasn't even looking at the knobs he was flipping, completely relying on his muscle memory. 

But you finally started climbing and you felt yourself melting into the strong body behind you. You were honestly afraid that with added pressure on his chest, he'd have trouble breathing, but he seemed to be doing more than alright. 

- How are you feeling...? - he asked after finally leveling the jet at around 10k ft. 

- Haven't decided yet... - you laughed because the view was amazing, and something you never got to see while wingsuit flying... - It's so loud, I didn't know it was that loud... - you were a little bit overwhelmed by engine and wind sounds and your thoughts weren't fully coherent because of it. 

- To be honest, I've quickly stopped noticing it... But... - he started patting his suit, checking if he still had something in his pockets. And he did. - I have a pair of noise-canceling plugs... I usually use them when I'm near the tarmac because it's always much louder there. They're all yours... - it was hard to properly manouver them under your helmet, especially with gloves, but even though they weren't in all the way, they still were a massive help. - Better? - he asked when you'd stopped fumbling, and you nodded in response. Now his voice was also muffled, but you could still hear him. 

- Are you ready for some gymnastics...? - his voice was giddy, almost as if he was a kid who got exactly what he wanted on Christmas morning and couldn't wait to share that news with his friends. You knew he wouldn't knowingly put you in any danger, so you nodded again. - Hold on tight, dove. - you didn't even know what to hold, so you grabbed his thighs at the exact moment when he did a first screwdriver. It was easy, you knew how to do those, but after that... He was maneuvering the jet in ways you didn't think possible. Dropping and ascending, swirling around imaginary targets, flying upside down... And as soon as your adrenaline kicked in, you couldn't help but laugh at every sudden change of direction. It was like riding a super advanced, super expensive rollercoaster, and you loved rollercoasters. 

You weren't exactly sure how long you were in the air before he leveled the plane again. 

- How about now, dove...? - you knew that he could tell by your laugh that you enjoyed it, but you were more than happy to use your words. 

- It has its perks, I'm not gonna lie... - you laughed again. - I still prefer my wingsuit, because I feel like I have more control. But from now on, I won't say no to an occasional jet ride. - you smiled, even though he wasn't able to see it beaming on your face. 

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he asked, and you honestly weren't sure if you heard him right. 

- What?

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he repeated, apparently being serious. 

- But... - you've started, but he was already moving your hands from his thighs to the stick and covering them with his own. 

- I'm here, and no matter what you'll do, I'll be able to correct it at this height... So I'm gonna ask again. Do you want to take the stick...? - his voice was stoic, even if full of joy. He knew he was good and that even if you somehow managed to put the jet in a complete nosedive, he'd still be able to pull you up in time. And you knew he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your life, so you nodded. - Ok, focus only on the stick, everything else is my job, ok...? - and you nodded again. - It acts basically like a joystick in games. If you want to move left, you move it to the left... - and his hands, still holding yours in them, moved the stick to the left. - If you want to move to the right, you move to the right... - and now you were gently swaying right. - If you want to go up, you pull it toward you... And if you wanna go down, then away... - he demonstrated, and just like that, you were on your own. 

Of course, you were afraid to move at first, you knew perfectly well how much one of those planes cost, and you couldn't help it. 

- Don't be afraid, dove... I'm here... - he repeated, and you finally relaxed a bit, and when your grip on the stick loosened a bit, you were able to feel something more... You tried gently swaying it left and right, and it was easier to do it to the left. Not by much, but you still noticed it. Surprised by your own discovery, you tried to do the same by gently swaying up and down... And it was just a tiny bit easier to go up... 

- I know you're sure that you'll be able to save us if I fuck up, but I need you to say it one more time because I feel like I'm about to do something really stupid. - this time he laughed maniacally. 

- I'm confident I'll be able to save us, dove, even if you'll somehow invade another country in this jet. - he reassured you again. 

- In that case, it's all on you... - you've said on the exhale and tried to feel the winds again. In your wingsuit, it was much easier. Not only because you were directly cooperating with the wind, but also because you had much, much more experience in flying that way. But even though the winds at this height were stronger, they were more or less the same, you just had to learn how to communicate with them and use them through this tin can. - Wait... How do you slow down and speed up...? - you asked when you wanted to match the speed of the winds, but you realized... you didn't know how. Ice laughed and guided your left hand to the correct lever. 

- Forwards - faster, backward - slower. - he didn't have to say much, just happy to observe you trying to find a footing in his world. 

- Ok... Here goes nothing... - you had to hype yourself up a little bit before you actually did any sudden turns... It took you good 20 seconds to finally gather enough courage to slow down enough to match the wind the best as you could. But as you were flying slower, it was easier to feel the direction of the wind, and you were glad for that. You exhaled quickly three times and finally started following the wind current down. It was rough and full of twists and turns, and it took you some time to get used to the controls. You saw Ice flipping some switches when he realized what you were doing, assisting you as best as he could because he never actually encountered anyone who would fly a military jet like that. You took your own technique and applied it to the 600 million-dollar machine, which was definitely... something else. You didn't have any proper training in flying, your head wasn't soaked with all the correct ways to fly a plane, so you took all your personal knowledge and applied it here. 

- Whoah! - Ice was surprised by a sudden drop, because nothing that rough showed up on the wind shear detection, yet you had no issues with just... feeling it. - How did you notice that? - he asked, genuinely surprised. 

- There are patterns... - you mumbled under your nose, still completely focused on the way how the stick felt in your hand. You didn't even notice when you closed your eyes a bit, so you could feel it better, and only after you've finished an unnamed maneuver, you got out of the trans you were usually in while you were flying in the wingsuit. - I mean... Wind behaves a certain way because of changes in pressure. And if you spend enough time relying on it, you kinda start seeing the patterns before you even enter the stream. I know how it sounds, trust me... I don't even know how else to explain it, because it's not something that I was taught during courses... Every instructor just said that you need to learn how to feel and hear it. And up here...? Everything is just... So... Loud... So I heard the change in the sound and followed it. - you tried to explain it as best as you could, but just... couldn't find the right words. You were sure that there was a scientific explanation for all this, but it was much easier to learn how to feel and hear it. 

- Huh... - he sounded curious. - Maybe next time you'll be trying to kill yourself, squirrel, I might actually join you... - he sighed heavily, taking the stick from your hands because you were starting to get lower than he felt comfortable with; there were birds at this altitude, and he would prefer to avoid them. 

- Wait... Are you serious...? - now you were the one who got excited. Usually, he let you have your own things to do. Of course, he was right there with you during your certifications and the numerous qualifications, but he never expressed interest in actually joining you up there. 

- Dead serious, dove... It actually sounds interesting and I would love to learn more about wind currents firsthand. - if you weren't basically tied to a seat with him, you would have jumped from excitement, which would be a poor decision in such a tight space. 

- Iceman, An Admiral, and US Pacific Fleet Commander in a squirrel suit... Can't wait to see it. - he groaned and instantly started regretting even bringing it up. 

- Promise me, you won't tell anyone about this... - you couldn't help but laugh. 

- I promise, I won't... - you didn't say anything about taking pictures though. 

[shadowxamyweek]

What ARE your thoughts on the whole Shadow/Amy thing, Rouge?

[Rouge sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose as Amy seems to try and vanish into the couch.] Rouge:... Why are you so embarrassed? (¬‿¬) Amy: I'm not! Rouge: Well, you're acting like it. Amy: (ﾒ`ﾛ´) Well, I'm not. [Rouge cocks an eyebrow. Amy looks away.] Amy: I'm- honestly, I'm probably the happiest I've been in a long time. Not that I wasn't happy before! Please don't think that! And even though I'm also super nervous about everything, this... still makes me really happy. Rouge: Well, good! I hope it would! Amy: You're not upset? Rouge: Why would I be? Amy: I was kinda worried... you'd think the worst. Rouge: What, that this was a rebound? You don't get Sonic, so you go for 'Sonic 2.0'? [Amy flinches. There's a pause.] Rouge: ...No, sugar, I don't think that in the least. As concerned as I am for the two of you, I am happy for you. Amy: Really? Rouge: Yes. Amy: ...Rouge? Rouge: Yeah? Amy: How long did I keep Shadow waiting? Rouge: ◔_◔ Years. Amy: Oh... I was afraid I was right about that, and here we are. [Rouge shrugs.] Rouge: Couldn't be helped. Trust me, I tried. [Amy lets her face fall into her hands with a groan.]

[agust-june]

Keep Her Satisfied For The Weekend (Teaser)

Yuta nakamoto x blk reader x Johnny Suh

Synopsis: between your past love with Johnny and being a sneaky link (with feelings attached) with Yuta. You're torn between the two putting your heart between choosing an old flame that burned you and the guy who can't let you in.

Warnings: nothing yet no smut here (yet) just to test the waters. Y/n is black so if your racist or anti black in any way shape or form this story is NOT for you nor is my page. Please exit and find a therapist that can help you unpack your racism.

"Hey at least I'm not getting your sloppy seconds Nakamoto" Johnny sneers as Yuta bursts out laughing. Johnny glares at him trying to figure out what was funny.

"Sloppy? Oh, Y/n could never although her head game was sloppy when she came to me but don't worry daddy trained her right" Yuta smirked triumphantly crossing his arm as he looked at you from across the room. You were having fun with Monica, the two of you doing your own thing. Johnny pays attention to the direction of his gaze onto you.

"Daddy? That's crazy. She called me daddy last week" Johnny announced as Yuta looked at him in disgust. There was no way in hell you were fucking him. Not when he got back from Japan almost three weeks ago.

"Don't be ridiculous Y/n wouldn't go back to you. She's too good for you" this time Johnny laughs rolling his eyes. To him, Yuta was a fool. You belonged to Johnny. You were his girl and always will be. It's only natural you'd come back to him. It took you crying on his doorstep. He immediately knew you told Yuta how you felt. Him knowing Yuta, Johnny knew he ghosted you. Sure he was a rebound but it wasn't like Yuta wasn't one either. Karma. What Johnny called it.

"Oh, but she did. See while you left her alone for two months I made sure to keep your side of the bed nice and warm." Yuta then starts thinking about it. He knew something was off for the past two weeks. You had a new hairstyle, before it was different color wigs, with different curls and sometimes it was straight. Now here you are with your natural hair though it was relaxed with a bit of a curl. That Sunday morning he came to your doorstep, your hair was in these beautiful curly waves. You were even more beautiful than you were before. He noticed how your scent changed, you changed your perfume. From a sweet floral summer smell, to a husky amber sticky amber. That fall stickiness that lingers on your skin. Even your mannerisms were different. Your posture went from slouched to straight. You were more laid back to this proper posh princess. Your walk was slow and graceful for a confident stride. But that didn't mean you'd go back to Johnny. This was just not a very funny way to get under his skin. Just to irritate him. So far it was working, just the thought of you going back to HIM of all people.

"You fucked up and you know it Yuta. Instead of running from your feelings, you should've made it official. Now that ring I've been keeping is going right on her hand" with those words Johnny parted ways with the now-furious Yuta. His eyes are locked on you in an uncomfortable possession. Only the feeling of fear licking up his spine gave way to the clarity of your features. As he made decisive strides towards you.

[buttermynutter]

Signed, Viktor | 11/18

Transcript:

Resident impromptu marine biologist,

The flowers are thriving, you can see them from even the sidewalk below your balcony! I didn’t doubt you could grow them from just cuttings, but I’m still a bit relieved because, to be honest, I picked the types solely on their names. Fuchsia is simply too interesting of a word for me to dismiss.

Speaking of thriving, I’m sure the “mermaid” is doing just as well. Perhaps you shouldn’t have convinced that child the manatee was really a lost species, but I suppose that’s what he deserves for pounding on the glass so much - he should prototype inventions of the Talis family.

As you know, I lived near a river in the Undercity, but our visit was the first time I had seen anything larger than a minnow or crawfish. It was simply magical, though we probably shouldn’t have gotten candy floss before the whale show - after the splash, it seemed more like a disappearing act. I wasn’t aware creatures could grow that large! Rio was already a spectacle to me, though it was most likely because of how small I was at the time.

I’m sorry for cutting this reflection short - I realize our visit was already a week ago anyway, yet that doesn’t stop it from rebounding around my head like you did from glass pane to glass pane. I understand you were excited, but that won’t stop me from reminding you that you identified staff members inside the tanks cleaning as different species of fish twice.

Instead, I wanted to speak of last night, hopefully while seeming as much as like I am directly talking to you as I can. Ironic when I could quite literally do so by simply knocking on the door to your quarters, I know, but I thought it would be the most fitting in a letter - at least, the most sentimental. (Not to mention that I am tremendously anxious, but I’d rather not think of it at the moment.)

Speaking of sentimental, did you know that the café - the one we had our first meeting off school grounds at - has closed down? I could hardly believe it when I saw it this morning since I wanted to surprise you with a drink, but I've heard they're merely moving, so it should still be nearby.

Also, do you happen to remember the sachet of herbs you gave me? I know you told me it was only an old wive's tale that it helps with allergies, but I genuinely feel that my sinuses are clearer. If only all ailments could be cured so easily.

Wait, I'm getting off track - I can't believe I've had not one but two tangents in writing. I promise these notes aren’t usually this nerve-wracking, but this letter carries considerable weight; so much so that I am delivering it myself (again, a bit redundant, but I like to think it adds to the charm).

If there is one thing I may ask of you, it would be to please not think of me any differently.

Because of last night, an internal cauldron that I have been carrying for quite a while has finally boiled over. It had been brewing ever since you shook my hand across the library table, but the last evening simply pushed it over the edge. Everything about it seemed tailored to pull me to that realization; from our journey in continuing to find out which key belonged where to chasing those discoveries to the water wheel outside.

We didn't trade many words sitting on that ledge, but I'd never felt closer to somebody. I know I've told you I’m not one for physical affection, even avoiding an embrace or two from you, but I regret it immensely. Goodness, I think that plant from so long ago had held you longer than I ever have.

However, I have reason to believed that has all changed. Because of you, I've found out why people hug, why friends link arms, why a single pat on the hand can be important, why a brush on the shoulder can linger for hours. Yesterday, and so many days before, I felt, well... received, I suppose. I couldn't play with the Zaun children, I couldn't travel with the academy students, but I don't have to with you - because there's nothing else I want to see.

I felt like with my arms around you, I never had to leave that spot, never had to pick up my cane again, like I could merely drink in your happiness and live forever.

Above all, you've stirred the heated coals of my lost faith in myself and my scientific proficiency into a renewed smolder; that aspect heated the cauldron before I even saw your face. A little drop of dreams can only go so far, but you've turned both yours and mine into a river.

And I don't plan on building a dam anytime soon. Like we have all these months, I still want to dodge flashlights in the dark with you, to formulate increasingly outrageous excuses when they inevitably land on us, to ensure that you get more from this academy than an assistant job and a metal brace. To put it simply, I'm sure you've heard of the term "Cupid's arrow". In my case, he must've used a rifle - and he's a terribly good shot.

Perhaps this is all a bit forward. I hope you are not uncomfortable or feel obliged to be mutual in this, anything but that. I just felt it was only right to tell you. After all, are we not for progress?

By botanical (though maybe not scientific) terms, the tree of my life had become barren, and I could barely remember when my potential was a promise instead of a regret. When you came to sit under its branches they not only bore fruit, but also more types than I could ever imagine. I’m not certain of much in this world, but I know indefinitely that you are beautiful and that I want us to pick every fruit on that tree until the only thing left for us is to touch the stars.

I don't know, I may be overcomplicating this. In the end, I only have to use a few words to describe how I feel.

I love you.

♥ Viktor

━━━━━━━

↢ Previous

Next ↣

Table of Contents

[spnhunter4life]

Two Minutes to Midnight

Summary: Y/n is out for a fun day with Sam when things take a turn for the worse. Desperate for help, they turn to Castiel for answers. But how helpful will the unreliable angel be?

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: My first time writing Cas! As you can tell, I went with the seasons 4 and 5 socially awkward, only moderately helpful Castiel. That's my favorite version of him. I've had this idea floating around for quite a while and I finally got around to writing it. This isn't my favorite thing I've written by any means, but I'm happy enough with it and figured since I took the time to write it, I might as well post it. Hope everyone enjoys!

Masterlist

Sam, Dean and I were at Bobby’s, taking a couple days of downtime. Dean had been hard at work giving the Impala some routine maintenance – his version of relaxing – and Bobby was busy doing research for a case, so Sam and I had taken one of Bobby’s functioning old junk cars into town to go see a movie, something we rarely got the chance to do. Dean had originally been planning to come with us, but opted out when he realized we were set on watching a documentary.

Our movie finished just after six so we were on our way to grab some food for everybody when it started. I gasped out loud at the sudden painful ache in my chest. I wished I could take back my reaction after the initial shock of it wore off. It wasn’t so bad. It could definitely be ignored. Sam had already been alerted that something wasn’t right though and asked about it. 

I brushed it off, telling him everything was fine. We walked to a diner and put in an order of food to go and then settled into stools at the bar to wait. But by the time our food was ready twenty minutes later, it was getting a lot harder to ignore. Sam noticed and seemed concerned, but I waved him off again. 

The drive back to Bobby’s finally pushed things over the edge into problematic territory.

“Sam. Something’s wrong,” I said through gritted teeth when we were still about ten minutes away. 

“What’s going on?” He asked, looking at me in alarm. 

“I don’t know. My chest hurts. It’s getting a little hard to breathe.”

“Why did you keep telling me nothing was wrong?” He hissed out in frustration.

“Wasn’t that bad,” I told him. “Thought it would go away. But it’s getting worse.”

He looked over at me, eyes full of worry, and then pushed the old car to go faster.

~~~~~

The door rebounded against the wall with a bang as Sam carelessly threw it open. My arm around his neck and his arm wrapped tightly around my waist was the only reason I was still standing.

“What the hell happened?!” Bobby demanded, jumping to his feet and rushing over to help. He put his own arm around me and together they helped me over to the couch. I immediately rolled onto my side, curling into myself in a futile attempt to stop the pain that had spread throughout my whole body.

“I don’t know!” Sam answered, sounding a little panicked. “She was fine and then she was just in pain all of a sudden! I asked her about it and she said she was fine. But it’s obviously getting worse.”

“Alright, settle down now. We need to stay calm. We won’t solve anything if we’re not thinking straight,” Bobby said. “Now think. Did you guys see anything strange? Did you come across anyone who seemed a little suspicious? Was there anything that caught your attention?”

“No, there wasn’t anything. We didn’t even talk to anyone except the waiter at the diner,” Sam said.

“Y/N? Can you think of anything Sam’s forgetting?” 

I searched my memory as best I could, but it was really hard to concentrate. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever been in this much pain.

“I don’t know,” was all I could manage to say.

“Ok. Well we’ll just-”

“Wait!” Sam interjected. “There was that guy. You bumped into him on the sidewalk. I mean we didn’t think anything of it, but what if…” He came over and started carefully patting me down, checking my pockets and apologizing as he did it. 

“Damn it. No hex bag,” he said. “It had to be him though. I mean, who else could it be? I’m gonna get Dean. We should go track him down.”

“Now hold on a minute,” Bobby warned. “Could be this has got nothing to do with anybody. She might just be sick.”

“Bobby, what sort of sickness affects a person this way?” Sam scoffed.

“I ain’t a doctor, and last I checked, neither are you! Now go get your brother. Maybe we can get Cas to come take a look at her.” 

Sam hesitated for a moment but then relented and walked out the still open door to bring Dean in.

“Alright, just breathe now,” Bobby said to me in a calm voice. My breaths were coming out in gasps, each inhale making the pain in my chest worse. It felt like someone was trying to twist a knife straight into my heart. He brushed the loose hair away from my face and then placed the back of his hand against my forehead. His brow wrinkled in concern.

“You feel a bit warm,” he told me. “I’m going to grab you a cool rag.”

He went to the kitchen and I closed my eyes, trying to focus on anything else. I opened my eyes a moment later, alerted by a breeze, to see Dean’s quirky angel friend standing over me with his head cocked, looking at me in that strange way he did. He walked over and placed his hand on my head.

Sam and Dean came barreling through the door a second later.

“Y/N!” Dean called out as he ran towards me, stopping an arm’s length away. “What’s wrong with her Cas?”

I gasped out in relief, the pain receding back from my limbs until it only remained in my chest. I saw Bobby come back in the room, a washcloth in his hands.

“How’d you know?” I asked Cas. He had his eyes closed in concentration.

“I heard Dean’s prayer.” 

Sam must have seemed worried enough that Dean didn’t even wait to reach me before asking the angel for help.

“What’s wrong with her?” Dean demanded, anxiously watching Cas work.

“I’m ok, Dean,” I told him.

“No you’re not! Sam said he had to practically carry you in here!”

“Really. I’m feeling better. Whatever Cas is doing is helping.” Cas whipped his head towards me at that statement.

“I’m not doing anything,” he contradicted me. 

“What? Then why am I feeling better all of a sudden?” I asked.

“You feel completely better?” Bobby asked.

Cas removed his hand and took a step back. He looked at me expectantly.

“Not completely. My chest still hurts, but everything else feels better and it’s a little easier to breathe. It got better when Cas touched me. You really weren’t doing anything?”

“I was simply assessing your condition. I did nothing to relieve your pain,” he informed me.

“Well then what’s wrong with her? And why’s it suddenly getting better?” Bobby asked. 

That’s what I wanted to know. I wasn’t exactly prone to sporadic outbursts of extreme pain. Clearly there was something wrong with me, whether it was supernatural or medical, I had no clue. I needed an explanation though, because even though the pain was better, it was still intense and I wasn’t having the easiest time focusing on the conversation.

“Where does it hurt?” Cas ordered more than asked.

“Right now?” He nodded. “Just my chest. Before you got here it was everything.”

“But where on your chest? I need you to be precise.”

“Right here,” I answered, pointing to right above my heart, the place the pain was radiating out from.

“That’s where the pain originated? And then it started to spread and get worse?” 

At my confirmation he looked at every person in the room, lingering on me the longest.

“I have a theory.” 

Everyone waited for him to elaborate further, but he just continued to stare at me curiously, the way he often looked at people. Like he was seeing something for the first time that he’d only ever heard about before.

“Which is?” Dean snapped, his patience wearing thin.

“Perhaps we should discuss this matter in private,” Cas suggested.

“Private? Everyone is going to find out eventually. And I don’t want to leave her right now. Just tell us,” Dean ordered.

“I wasn’t suggesting you leave her,” Cas answered. “I was speaking to Sam.”

“So I don’t get to know what’s going on? And what about Y/N? She’s the one suffering right now. You’re not even going to explain why or how to help her?” Dean snapped.

Cas didn’t even answer. He just walked out of the living room and into the kitchen, telling Sam to come with him. Sam looked a little torn. After a second’s hesitation, he gave an apologetic smile and followed after the angel.

“Don’t worry. Sam’ll tell us everything we need to know,” Bobby said.

“I don’t like how evasive Cas is being,” Dean sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and came to sit on the coffee table. “Are you still feeling better?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. Thanks for calling Cas.”

Dean snorted.

“Not that he’s being any help. You’re clearly in a lot of pain,” he worried. “How bad was it before if this is better?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I told him.

“Bobby,” Sam called from the kitchen. We all looked over to see him motioning the older hunter over. Bobby sighed.

“Here,” he said, handing the washcloth he’d grabbed earlier to Dean. “Try and cool her down a bit. She felt awful hot when I touched her.”

I thanked Bobby as he left the room. A cool rag did sound kind of nice, although I wasn’t sure how much it would really help.

Dean grabbed my hand in a comforting gesture and then pressed the back of his hand to my forehead to confirm Bobby’s statement. And just like that, the pain was gone. I let out a relieved sigh. It wasn’t immediate. It was slow enough that I could feel it as it lessened and then disappeared, but quick enough that the whole thing happened in a matter of seconds. Dean had a much different reaction. He hissed and quickly replaced his hand with the washcloth. 

“This is really not good,” he muttered.

I couldn’t decide if I agreed with him or not. On the one hand, the absence of pain after going so long with it being so intense was indescribable, and I was so grateful it was gone. On the other, it must have something to do with Dean. The pain went away the second he touched me. Why? How was that possible and what did it mean?

I looked up into the kitchen where Bobby stood with his arms crossed and Sam was wearing a big frown. I could hear enough of their tone to know they were having an argument. I couldn’t hear what they were saying though.

In the end, guilt won out. I couldn’t just sit here letting Dean worry about me because I was too scared to admit what just happened.

“That helps. A lot,” I told him.

“Not enough. You’re burning up. I mean, you’re dangerously hot. Cas!” He yelled, fed up with waiting. “We need solutions here.”

“No, Dean. I mean it doesn’t even hurt anymore,” I told him, sitting up.

Three pairs of feet shuffled in from the kitchen and three sets of eyes looked between me and Dean. Sam and Bobby looked frustrated, but resigned. 

“What’s going on?” Bobby asked. But by his tone of voice, I thought it seemed like he already knew the answer.

“I don’t know. I feel better,” I told him.

“How can you just feel better all of a sudden? Especially when you’re this hot? We need better than a wet rag Bobby, we need ice,” Dean said. “I mean, she’s-” he cut himself off when he removed the rag and felt my forehead again. “I don’t get it. Ten seconds ago you were practically on fire.”

“I don’t get it either,” I said, conveniently failing to mention Dean’s apparent role in my recovery. Not out of embarrassment or anything like that, but because I couldn’t come up with a way to say it that wouldn’t make me sound crazy.

Dean let go of my hand and dropped his head. He ran both hands through his hair, took a deep breath, and then stood up. He marched right over to Cas.

“What’s going on here? What was your theory that for some reason we couldn’t hear, and why is she better all of a sudden?”

“Dean. It doesn’t matter. Just let it go,” I begged. But as I said it, I thought I noticed the pain coming back. It was faint, but it was definitely there. I whimpered a little, not wanting to go through that again.

“No, it does matter!” He insisted at the same time Cas said, “She’s not better.”

Dean took a second to process.

“What did you just say?” Dean asked.

“I said she’s not better. And I can’t tell you what’s going on.”

“Dean,” I winced. The pain was quickly returning, almost back to the level it had been at before Cas got here.

“No. Look, I’m sorry that no one else seems to care what’s going on here, but I do!” 

“Dean,” Sam said firmly. When Dean turned an angry glare at him, he nodded towards the couch. Towards me. Dean turned and saw me curled up on my side again.

“What is even the point of having an angel around if you’re always going to be so useless? I’m begging for your help here, man. Do you not see how much pain she’s in?” Dean pleaded. 

“Of course I see it.”

“Then why aren’t you doing anything about it?!” Dean shouted. 

Cas was quiet for a minute, looking almost regretful.

“I’m sorry, Dean. Truly, I am. But I can’t help. Any intervention on my part will only make things worse. You have to figure it out for yourself.”

I watched through teary eyes as Dean clenched his fists a few times. Knowing him, he was debating whether or not to punch Cas.

“Dean,” I called for him again. 

He let out an angry breath and then came to sit beside me. 

“It’s ok. I’m right here. We’ll figure it out,” he told me. He lifted my head and placed it in his lap, running a hand soothingly through my hair. I let out a deep breath.

“Why does Dean make it better?” I asked. I no longer cared if it sounded insane. This was the second time his touch erased the pain. It couldn’t be a coincidence. And if he was the only way I could get any relief, I wasn’t going to hide the fact from him.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“When you touch me, the pain goes away,” I told him. And then turning to Cas I again asked why.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I need to go. But I can tell you this much. You have a six hour window from the start of symptoms. Based on what Sam has told me, you only have about four more hours before this becomes fatal. I’ll be back to check on you.” And then he was gone.

“Cas, you’re the most useless son of a bitch I ever met,” Dean fumed.

“Fatal?” I questioned, trying to be sure I heard him right. I sat up and took Dean’s hand in order to keep physical contact.

“I’m afraid so,” Bobby said sympathetically. “I wish we could help. Believe me, I do. But Cas pretty well tied our hands.”

“Then untie them,” Dean ordered.

“We can’t. He made it pretty clear that you two have to figure it out on your own. If we help then it doesn’t count and we can’t save Y/N,” Sam said apologetically.

“It’s ok,” I said to a panicky Dean. “It’s not the first time we’ve been in circumstances like this. We’ll figure it out.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you?” He asked.

I just smiled.

“I honestly think this hurts you more than it hurts me.” And I didn’t doubt the truth of those words. Dean cared and felt things more deeply than anyone I’d ever known. When someone he cared about was in pain, so was he.

“Let’s just get you better,” he said.

~~~~~

We spent the next three hours scouring every lore book we could get our hands on. Bobby had an impressive collection, but it wasn’t proving useful. A couple of times Sam would watch us for a few minutes looking like he wanted to say something. Bobby always hushed him before he could though, and after about an hour, the two of them decided to leave. Bobby said since they couldn’t help us anyway, they might as well give us some space and remove the temptation to just give us the answer.

Dean and I had been very careful to stay together. He never left my side for more than a minute, and only when we needed more books to look through. We’d held hands for a while, but when both of our palms started to get sweaty, we experimented a little with how much contact was necessary. We discovered that sitting pressed up against each other, thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder, worked fine. 

Impending death unless we could figure out a cure aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this time with Dean. Working together and being so close was nice. And if the minor crush I had on him caused my brain to go a little overboard with the release of dopamine, who was it hurting?

But when the three hour mark hit, the pain started to make a reappearance, despite Dean and me currently touching. I shifted uncomfortably which of course Dean immediately noticed. 

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I assured him. “Just… it’s starting to hurt again.”

He grabbed my hand.

“Is that any better?”

I waited a few seconds, but it wasn’t getting any better. I reluctantly told him so. Dean bit his lip as he glanced at the clock. It was 11. One hour left.

“We’re running out of time. Maybe that’s why. We just need to hurry up. Can you still help?” 

“Yeah,” I told him. “It’s not that bad.”

“Ok. I’m gonna get some more books,” he warned me. I nodded in understanding and he hurried over to Bobby’s bookshelf. He was less selective than he had been in previous trips, just grabbing up an armful of the first books he found. By the time he got back to the couch I was gritting my teeth, trying to hold back a pained noise.

“Ok, here we go. Keep looking,” he instructed me as he sat beside me and grabbed my hand. It helped, but the pain didn’t fade entirely the way it had before. I did my best to ignore it, focusing on the book in front of me.

The pain got steadily worse. Dean took his jacket and flannel off, pressing our bare arms together in the hopes that more skin on skin contact would help. It didn’t. I really tried to help, but within ten minutes I was no longer processing the words I was reading, my mind too distracted. After half an hour I was back to the excruciating level of pain I’d been at when Sam dragged me through Bobby’s door. I was laying down again, my feet in Dean’s lap. Dean was in a panic.

“That’s it. I’m calling Bobby,” he said decidedly, standing up and fishing in his pocket.

“No. Don’t. He can’t help. And you’ll only worry them,” I managed to grit out.

“Well there’s certainly reason to worry!” Dean yelled. “Y/N, I don’t know what else to do! I can’t just sit here and watch you die!”

“Come here.”

“What’s the point? It’s not helping anyway. I just- I’ve gotta do something. I’ve gotta-”

“Please,” I said. He let out a frustrated growl, but relented. He knelt on the floor by my head and ran a hand through my hair. 

“Cas, if you don’t do something to help real soon, I’ll never forgive you,” Dean threatened. “Come on you son of a bitch. After everything we’ve been through, this is really how you want things to end?”

We waited, but Cas didn’t come.

“Dean,” I said.

“Don’t worry,” he told me, fresh determination in his eyes. But also fear and doubt. “I’m going to fix this. I don’t know how. But I will,” he promised.

“Dean, just listen to me,” I said. “There’s something I want to say to you.” I was interrupted by a particularly bad wave of pain washing through my body. I tried to be quiet, but a whimper worked its way past my lips. Dean squeezed my hand through it, the only comfort he could offer. “I know this is… really crappy timing,” I told him through my sobs. “But I need you to know.”

“Y/N. Don’t,” he said. I wasn’t sure if he could tell what I was about to say or was just protesting what he clearly knew I considered to be my deathbed confession.

“I love you,” I said anyway. “And I’m sorry to put that on you. But I needed you to know.”

Dean was crying now too, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

“And that’s exactly why I have to save you,” he said. “Because I love you too.”

His lips closed over mine. He kissed me gently, as if afraid of hurting me. The pain intensified and I groaned. Dean immediately stood up and grabbed his phone out of his pocket. Then it started to fade away. I imagined I could feel five different lines of pain – each branching out in a different direction – start to disappear. Starting at the ends of my limbs, it worked its way inwards towards my heart. And then it was gone.

“Dean, wait,” I said. He ignored me and continued pacing as he dialed. I sat up first, and then I stood. Dean stopped moving, looking at me in surprise.

“It’s better,” I told him. “Ok? See? I’m up. And you’re not even touching me and I’m ok.”

“You’re ok,” he repeated, a little dumbfounded. He dropped his phone and rushed to me, wrapping me up in a hug so tight I worried I was about to lose my newly regained ability to breathe. “Don’t you ever do that to me again,” he breathed out, pressing a relieved kiss to my temple.

We spent a few minutes just holding each other before Dean, somewhat reluctantly, let go of me. 

“We should call Sam and Bobby. Let them know you’re alright,” he said, picking his phone up off the floor.

“Yeah. We should,” I agreed. “I guess they’re probably pretty worried.”

Dean finished dialing the number he’d started to punch in earlier and I listened to the very short conversation that followed.

“Sam. Yeah, she’s better. You guys can come back now.”

He hung up the phone, hung his head, and took a deep breath, releasing the rest of the stress from his body. Then he turned to look at me. He smiled wryly before walking over and pulling me into another hug. I pressed my cheek against his chest, and he buried his face in my hair. I felt his chest rumbling when he spoke.

“You owe me. I haven’t decided what yet, but you owe me big. You just put me through enough stress to knock at least five years off my life.”

I just smiled, able to laugh about it now that it was over.

“I know,” I told him.

“I don’t think you do. I don’t think you can even begin to understand how scared I was,” he said.

“Yes I can,” I disagreed. I pulled away from him slightly and turned my face up to look at him. “I can imagine exactly how scared I would have been if the situation was reversed.”

He let out a deep sigh and pressed our foreheads together before tilting his chin down to connect our lips in another kiss. Now that the pain was gone, I was able to appreciate the softness of his lips. I wanted more, and I tried to deepen the kiss a little, but he pulled away. Before I could ask why, I got my answer in the form of the sound of the door opening.

“Never again,” Dean repeated in a playful, but very serious, tone. Then he took a step back just as Sam and Bobby walked in the room. “You two sure got here fast,” he remarked.

“We only went a mile down the road,” Bobby said. “We wanted to be able to get here quickly if we needed to.”

“Why? I thought you couldn’t help anyway,” he countered, standing with his arms crossed now.

“Dean,” I warned.

“No, I wanna know what exactly was so dangerous about them telling us what to do. Which, by the way, I still don’t understand what made you miraculously better all of a sudden.”

“It’s called an amare,” said a deep voice behind us. We both whirled around to see Cas standing there.

“And where exactly have you been?” Dean growled out. “I asked you for help Cas, and you abandoned us.”

“I was tracking it down. It’s been safely delivered up to the custody of Heaven,” he answered.

Dean clenched his jaw.

“Ok. So now that everything is over, explain. What is it? Why couldn’t anyone tell us anything?”

“Amares are… for lack of a better explanation, rogue cupids. They wander around looking for people who are in love but hiding the fact from the person they are in love with. When they find such a person, they infect them with a toxin. All it takes is one touch to infect their target.”

“That guy you bumped into on the sidewalk,” Sam said.

“Yes,” Cas confirmed “Whether the couple is a pair Heaven wants together or not, they don’t care. And as you’re aware, they don’t give you an easy moment of falling in love as cupids should. It’s extremely painful and oftentimes fatal since the victims rarely even get a chance to make it better. Their solution is always to go to the hospital which of course is useless.”

“What makes it better?” Dean asked again. 

“Seeing as Y/N is fully recovered, I would assume you know the answer to that.”

“Well I don’t. One minute I thought she was about to die and the next she was fine. Explain that,” he demanded.

I shifted on my feet a little, curious about the answer myself. 

“Y/N knows,” Cas said, noticing my discomfort. Dean turned to me.

“Y/N?” He asked, sounding a little betrayed.

“Well…” I started unsurely. I had a theory, but I didn’t want to admit it out loud. It was too ridiculous. Even by our standards.

“If you knew how to make it better the whole time, why did you put me through that? Why did you put yourself through that?”

“I didn’t know how to make it better! I just… well it seems kind of obvious. And extremely crazy at the same time,” I said, explaining my hesitation to answer. Dean was looking at me expectantly, waiting on an answer. I sighed. “It’s a direct cause and effect situation. When you touched me, it made the pain go away, right? Even if just temporarily?”

“Yeah…” Dean answered, not seeing where I was going with this.

“So…” I prompted. “What happened right before I started to feel better?”

I watched the wheels turning in his head as he thought back. I saw the moment it clicked for him, and he looked at me doubtfully.

“You really think-”

“I told you it was crazy,” I said a little defensively.

“It’s not crazy,” Cas said. “Why do you think you humans have all those fairytales about true love’s kiss?”

“Wait, so you’re saying-” Sam started, but was interrupted.

“Not literally,” Cas said. “There’s no such thing as true love. There’s just people falling in love. Some are more compatible than others of course. But legends exist for a reason. There’s always truth to them. They’re a warning and a guide.”

“So you’re telling me that Snow White was made up as a warning about the amare?” I asked incredulously. “It’s not exactly a legend, it’s a children’s story.”

“And who should be warned about the dangers of the world if not children?” Cas said.

“Alright, fine. In this scenario Y/N was Snow White and I was… Prince Charming, apparently,” Dean summarized, rolling his eyes a little. “How does kissing her make her better?” His patience was wearing extremely thin, especially with the somewhat ridiculous turn this conversation had taken and how long it was taking to get answers.

“When an amare infects someone, it specifically targets the cure of the toxin to the DNA of the other person. This is why your touch and even your presence was able to help. But it is only your saliva that can break down the toxin completely, which is where the kiss comes in.”

I wrinkled my nose a little at his word choice. It just sounded so clinical and… really not romantic. Not that we had been in what I would consider a romantic situation anyway, but… I don’t know. For some reason talking about saliva made it weird.

“And no one could tell us this because?” Dean asked again.

“Apparently once they infect someone, they stick around to keep a close eye on them,” Sam explained. “They have a certain amount of control over the toxin. If anyone interferes, they’ll change the DNA sequence it’s been coded to so that the person can’t be saved.”

“Why?” I asked. “What’s the point? Just to hurt people?”

“No. Despite their unsanctioned methods, they are still cupids doing what cupids were meant to do. Their goal is to bring people together,” Cas answered.

“And they’ve got a great way of making it happen,” Bobby muttered.

“Ok, answer me this Cas,” Dean said. “If those things stay close to the people they infect and you left to track it, why did it take you so long to find it?”

“It didn’t. I found him very quickly.”

“Then why didn’t you-”

“Because that would be interfering. I had to wait until Y/N was better.”

“Thanks for your help Cas,” I said. I could admit that I had felt a little abandoned before, but now that I had all the answers, I could see he was honestly just trying to help. I knew it would be a while before Dean calmed down enough to see that.

“Of course,” he said. Then he disappeared again.

“He’s not really one for unnecessary conversation, is he?” I commented.

Bobby snorted and Sam grinned, pulling me into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re ok,” he said. “You had me so worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” I told him.

Sam let me go and Bobby affectionately patted me on the shoulder.

“Don’t apologize,” Dean said. “It’s not your fault.”

“Actually, apparently it is. Both of your faults in fact. At least a little bit,” Sam teased.

“Yes. Because I knew that I was going to be targeted by an amare,” I said sarcastically.

“Well, lesson learned,” Sam replied. “When you get tired of this idiot and move on to someone else, be sure to tell the guy how you feel.”

I huffed out a quiet, tired laugh.

“Yes, well. If I get tired of him, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” I said. “It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted, so goodnight everyone,” I said as I headed for the stairs.

I took a quick shower and had just finished changing into shorts and a tank top for bed when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened and Dean took a step inside, hovering in the doorway.

“Hey, uh… is it alright if I join you?” He asked. I smiled at his obvious nervousness. It was something I saw on him so rarely. “I don’t really want to sleep on the floor. And it would be nice to have one night where I don’t have to listen to Sam’s snoring.”

“Is that the only reason?” I asked. Of course I didn’t mind. We’d shared a bed a few times before.

“It might be. Or maybe I’m also having a hard time letting you out of my sight after everything that happened today,” he admitted. I smiled and patted the bed.

“Come on in then,” I said.

He climbed into bed beside me and only hesitated a second before pulling me into his arms. I wrapped my arm around him and snuggled into his side. We definitely hadn’t done this before. But I liked it. I hadn’t lied when I said I was exhausted, and I felt myself quickly drifting towards sleep.

“Y/N?” Dean whispered, bringing me back to the edge of consciousness. 

“Hmm?”

“I love you,” he said. I smiled into his chest.

“I love you too.”

Tags: @123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28

[tinydappledleaf]

Title: Stay

Chapter: 2/6

Pairing: Ezra x f!Reader, Ezra x you (Reader is addressed by 'you' or nickname)

Rating: 18+, smut in chapter 6

Content: Situationship to romance, soft Ezra, intimacy, loss of limb (non-explicit), canon compliant

Summary: When you've almost given up waiting for him, a certain prospector returns to the Pug to call in a favor...

Ao3: complete fic

《 chapter I chapter 3 》

Chapter II

Ezra gains awareness more often now, his wakeful moments brightening the room's atmosphere significantly. The second his voice fills the space, still rough and worn from its lack of use, the gloom of doubt retreats. He’s recovering, slowly but steadily, fighting off death’s cold and grabby fingers.

There’re secrets, between him and the girl, that you witness with each conversation, wordy or mute, that happens between the two. You wonder what has prolapsed out there, in the Green, to bind such and unlikely duo. Neither Cee nor Ezra care to share, yet, and you tiptoe around it, cautious to mind the delicate boundaries reigning all queries and tales.

He's told you that he owes her. That she has saved his live, more than once. That she chose to stick around, has nowhere else to go. The least he can do is allow her to stay and learn, though he hardly deems himself anything akin a teacher, let alone guardian.

"I apologize for loading that onto you as well, Patches," he says when Cee's out and about to look for... well, something she didn't want to tell you about.

"As soon as I'm back on my feet, we'll be off your back. I won’t overstay my welcome."

You raise a brow at him as you dribble expectorant into a half full glass of fresh water. Getting rid of the dust is something you won't (let him) neglect. You know the dangers, the potential consequences of protracted infections. The Green is lethal. Years later, unexpected, for some.

Not for him.

You'll make sure of that.

He takes the glass, pulls a pout, then downs it in one go. You shake your head at his antics and free him of the empty glass.

"You're always welcome here. Both of you."

"Very conside-"

"No, I mean it, Ez. I enjoy your company."

You rarely snub him, adore his verbose quality. Sparking exasperation in most, for you its soothing, somehow, to hear him turn any two word matter into a full discourse. But there's no further discussion in this point and you want it known.

"I've been waiting for you to show your mug here for much longer than anticipated. I'd appreciate if you didn't run off and jump right into the next heap of trouble the tick you recover."

You know he still might. Ezra’s an alley cat. A roamer. He doesn’t stay, doesn’t commit. It sucks, you think. But it’s part of who he is.

As if he has read your very mind, he offers a sheepish smile and a shrug that makes him wince.

It hurts you still, to see him like that. In pain. Bone-weary. Somewhat broken and at wit's end. It’s not the first time he’s taken damage out in the void. You’ve patched him up countless times, bestowing a little more meaning upon his nickname for you, besides the obvious hint to your well-loved patched up overalls. You’re certain it’s one of his reasons to keep returning. For you to aid all injuries and grievances, big or small, and help him rebound. But none of those have ever been so… devastatingly permanent.

“That dreadful, hm?” he asks and only now you become aware that you’ve been staring at the bandaged stump that once was his right arm. Caught, you redirect your gaze to his face. His pensive smile unsettles you greatly, hence, you boldly lie. 

“I’ve been eyeballing measurements. For replacement.”

Ezra tilts his head and sees right through you. He knows you long and well enough. You’re not that sloppy when it comes to your work and passion. He doesn’t call you out, however.

“I won’t be apt to compensate you suitably, I fear. Great loss and little gain have marked my voyage into the Green. Not quite what I had longed for.”

It’s your turn to shrug then. You don't live off the smell of you oily rags. You can bear one job without payment. You cannot bear watching him and sensing the concern that festers inside. The whisper of uncertain future and dread to accomodate to his life altering predicament.

“I’ll figure something out, Ez.”

You know he’s not entirely destitute, either. When you stripped him out of his tattered suit with the help of Cee, a singular aurelac gem dropped from one of its pockets. You’ve shoved it back in, not mentioned it once, since. You won’t now. He’s lost his crew, his ship, his belongings, his arm. You will not take the little he has left. And he’s smart enough not to offer it. After all, he has a teenage girl to care for. And many necessities to replace. The meager haul will barely serve to get them through for a few seasons, give and take. Not worth its cost.

“You know what?” you say and pat his shin through the blanket, “Since you’re up, I’m gonna cook.”

His eyes grow large at the prospect of food. Real food. Not those ready packed protein slushies and Bits Bars he’s been surviving on. His innocent reaction lures a smile from you, the heavy prior conversation momentarily forgotten.

"You're kevvasend, Patches. I hereby vow, I will acquit my debt to you. If there's anything I can do to compensate, speak your wishes."

“Oh, hush Ez," you laugh as you get up.

You can't ask him to stay. You won't clip his wings. 

You leave him to his own devices then, glad to direct you focus elsewhere and away from the wistful thought, and head into the niche that is your kitchen. Your living quarters are by no means large. The Pug offers little in matter of quality of living. At least in your financial range. There are spots for the luckiest ones, who’ve turned adventures into riches. High up, above the container structures that serve the those below the salt.

You don’t love the Pug. You don’t hate it either. For you, it serves a purpose. Travelers of all sorts frequent here and there’s always something to repair - be it a radio. Or a foot. It all pays well enough.

The area you live in might not be one of the nicest, but at least its no hellhole. Those are located closer portside. The days out are safe around here, beyond the occasional pickpocket. The nights are certainly not.

Cee knows as much, so she comes in no later than sundown. You’re relieved to see she seems to carefully gain some autonomy, unsticking herself from Ezra’s side little by little since he’s up. The trauma sits deep inside her soul, so much is obvious. But the ever-present haze of gloom that hangs above her lifts the tiniest bit with each passing cycle. She’s talking more now and her smartness shines with each witty retort.

Today she comes ‘home’ early. As she enters the living room, she holds a curious flat package pressed close to her chest, similar to the one she brought in cycles prior, and you wonder what's inside. Her sneakineass piques your interest, though you don't pry. If Ezra trusts her, so do you. There's no ill intent behind her secrecy. 

Immediately after entering, she disappears into the tiny adjacent bedroom that has become her save haven. Surrendering it to her had only seemed the right thing to do. You don’t mind making do with the makeshift cot beside your provisory workspace, compiled of old roll mats, blankets and some stray pillows.

It’s all a bit cramped and no permanent solution for sure, but the situation justifies it for the time being, no question.

Cee reemerges from her hiding spot no sooner than you call her.

She helps you craft a crude dinner table from supply boxes in front of the couch and takes a seat as you serve dinner.

You’re a little proud of yourself as you carry the bowls over.

Living by yourself, you rarely take the time to cook. But Cee looks like she could use a decent meal and Ezra must be starving by now.

You’ve been taking it slow for him with solid food, not sure how much he’d be able to stomach, given his overall condition. But you’ve heard his stomach grumble several times throughout the afternoon and decided it’s time to take pity on him. Thus, you now offer something a tad more substantial than thinned out nutrient rations.

As you set down a bowl of stew in front of him and Cee, excitement settles over her features, and she doesn’t waste time to dig in. Very much like Ezra, it apparently has been some time since she last got any proper food between her teeth. She praises your (in your mind decent) cooking skills avidly between loaded spoons and you revel in her joy over something as simple as dinner. Your attention is on her until she freezes, spoon mid-air from bowl to mouth. A slight frown replaces the expression of content.

“Are you okay?”

Her cautious question returns your attention to Ezra, who’s fallen utterly silent. He still resides on the couch, now upright despite the nasty gash right though his midsection. The white-knuckled grip on his innocent cutlery sparks concern. First you guess pain. Then frustration. The situation must harshly remind him that he now, by force of events, is left-handed. A circumstance that threatens to grow more challenging with his progressing recovery.

But his expression reveals something entirely different. Brows drawn tight together, he stares down into his untouched bowl, lips almost non-existent with how adamantly he presses them into a line. Brown eyes brim with unshed moisture and a shaky breath runs through his tightly strung frame.

“’m fine,” he says but it doesn’t convince either of the friends present.

“Suppose I simply did not expect to someday enjoy another home cooked meal.”

It hits you then, like a wave crushing in. That he’d been closer to giving in than ever before. The Ezra you knew had his ups and downs, sure. You’d seen him falter and rethink, fuss and curse, if something did not turn out the way expected.

But he always, always, found his way out of life’s tumult eventually and, afterwards, spun it masterfully into serpentine stories of misfortune and close calls.

This time, however, he had been on the brink to surrender fate.

It scares you. It scares him. And it is all you can do not to join in and break, after cycles of watching him stubbornly battle the consequences of this one disastrous undertaking. Swallowing against the sudden tightness in your throat, you reach out and wrap your hand around his.

“The more reason to enjoy it.”

His iron grip slackens with your touch, and he collects himself enough to blink the tears away. Soon enough he’s digging in as well and regains a tad of his usual radiance. It does you a world of good to see him delight in the carefree moment that sprouts. In the jokes and banter, the recount of memories.

Ezra narrates one of your misadventures to Cee and you can’t help but roll your eyes at his unbelievable exaggeration of your occasional clumsiness.

You hadn’t meant to set your supplies on fire. And they sure as hell didn’t burn down entirely! But the mischievous glint in his eyes, the verbal jab of his elbow, stokes a familiar warmth deep within your chest.

You’ve missed this - him - so much it hurts. And you long for the moment to last.

Alas, dinner comes to an end eventually.

At least it does in laughter, you think, as Cee mockingly threatens to stab Ezra with her spoon at the mere mention of ‘channel rats’.

You totally get her.

Shortly after, she excuses herself to ‘prepare’ something and you’re left alone with your now exhausted chatterbox.

You’re still undoubtedly curious about the girl, but Cee won’t spill a word about her mysterious project before she retires to her room.

“She writes a novel,” says Ezra off-handedly as you accompany him to the bathroom and only goes into detail at your astonished expression, satisfied to now own your undivided attention as he praises his fledgling. Cee manages to impress you time and again.

Your focus, however, is elsewhere already as you maneuver Ezra to stand in front of the narrow shower cabin. You pause to consider how to go about your task without further hurting him.

“You certain this is necessary?” He quips, obviously mildly amused by your very thoughtful frown.

“Dead certain. No more cat baths, Ez. You reek.” you mutter and he does look somewhat affronted, though he knows you’re absolutely right. Its something else that has him stall. With a sigh, he relents and drops the humor.

You feel the tiniest bit sorry for barreling right through his façade but the tiptoeing around all sensible topics drains your energy. By now you’re tired. You both are. You want to get this over with.

Taking a small step back within the cramped space, you allow him room and privacy to rid himself of shirt and pants. It’s a time-consuming process, but he’s learning, accepting. And you’re there to help, if need be.

While he undresses, you busy yourself preparing new bandages and waterproof stick-on foil to keep his healing injuries dry.

As soon as he’s bare, you step in and skim cautious fingers across his skin to apply the foil around his right shoulder and over the cut in his abdomen. He’s lost some weight, you notice, as your hand ghosts across his stomach. It doesn’t take or add from his looks. He’s always been handsome to your eyes. Always will be.

Mid-way through enduring your gentle care, Ezra begins to ramble again. He tells you about the nights in the Green. How the mist crawls in on stormy ones. And how bright and clear the stars shine through the calm nights. No exhaust. No light pollution. Solely the mesmerizing radiant glow of myriad stars across the void.

You smile at that and try to imagine the beauty he’s found within the Green’s death trap. He amazes you, too, time and again.

You stay as he showers; too afraid still unsteady legs might give in to the slippery tile floor. He doesn’t mind your presence, its nothing new, but neither asks for assistance until he’s done. Upon his call of the nickname he bestowed you with, you hand him a towel and help him peel the waterproof layers of foil away. You don’t leave him time to lose himself in the misted mirror, to mourn his loss and detest his marred image.

You turn him to face you instead, and gently cradle his jaw in both of your hands until your reassuring gaze has melted his frown away. Nothing has changed in the way you see him, how you care for him. With a smile, you allow no space for doubt and he mirrors it, just the tiniest bit more confident.

Only then you move to change his dressings and check the stitches under his attentive observation.

You think there’s something on that wicked mind of his, as you briefly glance at his face. Something on the tip of his silver tongue.

But for now, it remains a secret.

[escaping-amish]

Reconnecting with (and sleeping with!) the guy who helped me start my deconstruction journey…

The year was 2021 and I sent him a message on Hinge. My expectations were low but to my own surprise, we clicked so well. Conversations easily lasting all night. He was even my first kiss !! But I was deeply involved in church. He wanted more but I couldn’t fit him into this mold I had made for myself as a good (though incredulous) church girl. I was too scared to deviate from the expectation of me that as much as it hurt me, I agreed it was a good idea to end it.

I regretted that decision, without exaggeration, every day, every week, month that passed immediately after.

That regret fueled an anger towards everything that stood against me and what I wanted. Not just this guy but now everything I actually wanted. Free time, dancing, my own wardrobe, my own person!!

3 years have passed since Hinge Guy. Since then, i have been on a dozen first dates, watched him fall in love on social media, and throughout it all - never stopped thinking about him. I've told this to my therapist that i think about him AT LEAST on a weekly basis. I had told myself that if by some otherworldly miracle the opportunity presented itself again - I'd take it no questions asked. Since then I have also sought out therapy to prepare for my exodus from the church. I became intentional about creating a chosen family. And I was getting ready to pull the trigger. When OUT OF THE BLUE - i get a message from Hinge Guy. "heyyy, how are you?"

My stomach wanted to fall out of my ass because I was just thinking about him probably earlier that day. Fast forward, we reconnect and he finds out im leaving the church. I find out he's single. We both rediscover that we still like each other. Things took a spicy turn but not once did I feel like he was being disrespectful or a perv. The idea crossed my mind of potentially being a rebound. that worry still sits on the back burner. But we've had countless vulnerable conversations that have reassured me. Neither of us were looking for this - or even planning this. It has caught us both off guard.

We hung out 2x for the day when he invited me to stay overnight somewhere - just to have more time with each other. I suggested his place because it didn't feel sexual or transactional. so I went over (3/16/24-3/17/24). I was shy but comfortable. Hand holding led to cuddling, which led to kissing, then heated kissing, then wandering hands. and ultimately sex. He knew about my religious upbringing and knew i was a virgin. He could not have been more attentive, responsive, caring and gentle if i planned it myself. I don't regret a single thing.

He's still going through his own grief post-breakup and if this ultimately fizzles out into nothing i will still cherish it for what it was - a 2nd chance. If this is the only way I can have that emotional closeness - not necessarily the sex - but this in-between of where he's at, I will enjoy every moment I can. Because this is a beautiful connection that I have yet to feel with anyone else that i've met. i have never felt so seen and so true. It makes me feel like I do have a say in my life after all. That younger girl that was scared away from living her life is a lot braver this time around. The desire to live is now stronger than the desire to fit in. No idea what tomorrow will look like but i'm a little more confident now that i'll be happy there.

[dontmeanyoudontmissit]

I'm sure someone's done this already, but, assuming the surprise song choices are hints for TTPD tracks...

She has 17 shows between TTPD announcement and album release. There are 17 tracks, +3 bonus tracks. So my theory is that single + single song = one song. Mash up + mash up are two songs. Single song + mash up = one song. Which means we should have 3 shows with two sets of mashups

The Manuscript - Dear Reader (guitar), Holy Ground (piano) [assumed because she planned to announce the album at this show, and these two together feel like a whole story idk how to put words to it. Dear Reader is about not facing up to the truth/ not sharing the truth, and Holy Ground mentions books/pages/ the story that they were together. The manuscript is like the unreleased truth of their story.("I love you, it's ruining my life"... there's something here about holy ground being love and dear reader being her twisting into a pretzel and lying to herself/hiding herself]

I can do it with a broken heart: I think this one is about finding the inner strength and conviction that she can truly do this. (Sorry pals but I like to think this was the "I'm the happiest I've ever been" moment because I want my show to have helped inspire a song lol) Eyes Open (guitar), Electric Touch (piano) Second guess here is Fresh Out the Slammer

Eyes Open is literally about staying on alert and everyone watching. Very "hold your head up".

Electric Touch feels a little trickier to me, but could also fall into this theme with trying to lean into hopefulness about something actually working maybe with Matty]

But Daddy I Love Him: A song about trying to convince herself (and others) that she can make this thing work, she loves him. Superman (guitar), The Outside (piano)

Superman is trying to justify behavior that's not actually ok but ultimately being aware that it isn't.

The Outside adds in this element of begging to be let in because she loves him - and how could her dad understand when he's not there

Fortnight: A song in the ether between rehearsals and the break up, or the break up (Nevada) and it becoming news (April 8th). Come In With The Rain (guitar), You're On Your Own Kid (piano) Alts: loml because she's so sad and mourning the future, fortnight because she's hoping he'll turn it around still, I can do it with a broken heart because YOYOK, so long london because she's packing it up and leaving on her own - however Come Back Be Here/ Daylight screams So Long London to me.

Come in with the Rain is longing and hoping he'll actually show up even though she knows she should move forward.

YOYOK is her finding strength in self. I think together these tell a little story of yearning and mourning and seeking to pick herself up and go.

The Bolter: "You don't get to tell me about sad" First of all, she announced The Bolter at this show. Second of all, I think The Bolter is about quilting running. Her history of running in relationships but looking back after and wondering if she made the right choice. Red (guitar), You're Losing Me (piano)

Red can be spun as wanting to stay in something and looking back at the end and wondering if you made the right thing.

You're Losing me is - well, we've all heard You're Losing me. To me there's an element of the release date of YLM that says 'I didn't want to run. I tried. I stayed. It didn't work." Also "you don't get to tell me about sad"??? YLM is crushing bye

Fresh Out the Slammer: it feels like it's trying to dodge the emotional bullet with a rebound that she realizes was always destined for failure. Getaway Car/August/The Other Side of The Door (guitar), this is me trying (piano). Alt is Florida!!

Getaway car - is her feeling like the escaped or the beginning with the excitement

August - A "summer" fling as she lives her new "free" life

Otherside of the door - Painting a beautiful picture on the outside, but really lying ...And finally realizing that after this whole fling she's still in the dumps about Joe?

This is me trying - the noise of the world about Matty and her breaking things off with Matty because she's just a woman in pain trying to do the best she can (but feeling like she's failing)

So Long, London: Potentially a song about leaving London and everything it represents behind (and the push pull of blowing up that core part of her life) Come Back, Be Here/Daylight (guitar), Teardrops On My Guitar (piano).

Come back, be here - Missing someone (something), wanting them to be there

Daylight - Back and forth to New York -- sounds sad about what she once thought would be. She ends on having to "let it go"

Teardrops ultimately lands this one on missed signals and dreams.

The Albatross: "Am I Allowed to Cry" She thought this relationship was it - like a movie. They found each other when she felt so small and he saved her... and then it turns out actually this isn't it! They never had a chance! How You Get The Girl (guitar), White Horse/Coney Island with Sabrina Carpenter (piano)

How You Get the Girl - He got the girl

White Horse - Lost the girl; They never really had a chance; She had a dream and this isn't it

Coney Island - Left behind wondering what's happened (and then back to white horse because it's too late to fix it! Go away!)

Guilty as Sin? - A song about guilt and mistrust and fault. Who's guilty as sin? I'm not sure. Should've Said No/You're Not Sorry (guitar), New Year's Day/Peace (piano)

Should've Said No - Cheating/ making mistakes/ things you should have done

You're Not Sorry - Not apologizing for behavior ... maybe not even admitting he did anything wrong

The Tortured Poets Department: The two of them being sad together and digging in deep. New Year's Day/Peace (piano) (Alternate guesses here are The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived because of the lines in Peace. Or Down Bad because she's sad about leaving this, her dream behind)

New Year's Day - would stick by him through anything together

Peace - would stick by him through anything. Tortured sad poet

Haunted/exile (piano)

-Clara Bow?

WCS/ Ivy (guitar)

I Can Fix Him?

Forever & Always / Maroon (piano)

Down Bad?

Fortnight

The Tortured Poets Department

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Down Bad

So Long, London

But Daddy I Love Him

Fresh Out the Slammer

Florida!!!

Guilty as Sin?

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Loml

I Can Do It with a Broken Heart

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - I think this is going to be about ego and Taylor feeling like she needed to be small ...because he felt small and needed everyone around him to feel small or smaller.

The Alchemy

Clara Bow

The Manuscript

The Bolter

The Albatross

[elejah-wonderland]

Rebound_3

elejah_au

*

_a short story

_elena doesn't take the cure. After a while ends up in New Orleans. Elijah needs her help. They end up travelling to Manosque. He is on rebound. Is he going to acknowledge his feelings for her?

*

Barcelona, Spain

"Café con leche, por favor" Elena said to the waiter, and as he went, she finished her text to Caroline.'Staying here for another week or so.'

She put the phone on the table and listened to the song coming from thd bar.

Inevitably her thoughts swayed to Elijah.

Flashback

Manosque

"Elijah?" Elena muttered in a half-breath, her heart sinking.

Elijah drew a silent breath.

He owed her an answer.

"I want to take comfort in you. Escape from -  And it is not right. None of this is all right. I'm sorry. I've never wanted to - mislead you in any way and use you like this - I am trully sorry."

Elena exhaled softly. "You didn't mislead me. I'm actually aware that you're in a rebound phase. It's me - I think it's this place - it had me build castles in the  air."

And the castles dissipated like wispy cottony clouds on a breezy day.

And no matter how much she wanted to get him out of her daydream. He followed her everywhere.

'The heart has its reasons whereof reason knows nothing.' she jotted down a quote from an article, in her diary.

Flashback

"You were in love with Elijah before you even knew you were in love with Elijah" Caroline said.

"How do you figure?" Elena wondered.

"You wanted to save him so badly after the Mikaelson Ball, remember?" Bonnie said.

"And you kept his letter." Caroline added.

Elena, flipped to the last page of the diary, where she had glued the envelope witu the lettrr inside. She now took the letter out.

She gulped, her mind now playing the moments in the park tunnel, where she told him that the letter burnt.

"Damn you" she muttered softly, her eyes watering. 

*

At the same time in New Orleans

Elijah's mind filled with the memory of her scent and the feel of her cherry lips, her eyes, the copper against honey and sage that made his heart quiver with joy, giving it life.

Everything inside of him was like echos of summer days when he was around her.

He took a good sip of the vintage Bourbon.

Once again, his heart flooded with regret.

He had a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts, depression and self-loathing. He replayed mistakes that piled up during many centuries.

There were many he desperately wished he could undo.

'You say that you've soughts solace in Elena, but I think that it was not so. From what I've heard, you and Elena had something - how did our dear sister put it - rare. And you gave it up for some misguided notion of love you thought you felt for the she-wolf.' Kol said."The truth is - very much reverse in fact."

When he thought about it. It was. In fact, every other woman he'd been with of late, including Hayley was a rebound of sorts.

In every one of them, he sought what he had admired in Elena.

"You can shut down, sweep all your feelings for her under the carpet.  Or you could undo this. Tell Elena you made a mistake. And - just be happy." Kol's words cut in.

Not one more moment was to be wasted on wallowing in his own misery.

No more.

"Elijah?" Klaus called out as he saw his brother hurridly come down the stairs. "Where are you going?

"Away" Elijah replied as he turned around.

"Away - where?"

"I'm leaving. Whatever you have pending you will have to resolve on your own. Though you're not on your own. You got Freya, Kol and Rebekah." Elijah said.

"So, all the talk about the promise - family above all - is run to the ground?!"

"There comes a day when you have to stand on your own two feet. I cannot hold your hand forever. Goodbye  Niklaus." Elijah nodded a little before he spun around and took off.

Someone once said that destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

This time Elijah chose to put destiny in his own hands.

As he drove to the airport he had one more call to make.

"Can you please tell me where Elena is?" Elijah said to Caroline as she picked up his call.

"What is going on?"

"I need to speak to her and all I get is that the dialled number does not exist." Elijah said.

"That's because she changed her number, duh!" Caroline inhaled sharply.

"I am very much aware of that." Elijah inhaled silently. "I made a huge mistake and I wish to rectify it."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. Please."

"You had a Rachel moment, didn't you?!" Caroline retorted.

"Excuse me?" Elijah was baffled.

"Friends. Ross and Rachel. #Igotofftheplane. Google it." the blonde vampire replied.

"Caroline, do I need to beg here?"

"No. But if this is not #Igotofftheplane thing, I will not tell you where she is."

"I presume Rachel realized she was in love with Ross, which is exactly what I need to tell Elena." Elijah couldn't half believe that he was answering pop culture riddles.

"Barcelona. Hotel 1898." Caroline said.

"Thank you." he said and swiped the call off.

_to be continued

[prettybearbutch]

If it's not too personal or private, how did your last relationship end? You seem so confident and knowing what you like in partners (based on reblogs and such 👀).

I was a rebound and didn't know it (I mean, does anyone ever). Don't really want to get into details bc I'll just sound whiny, but it ended pretty abruptly and in an embarrassing way after a lot of pretty words had been said and big plans had been made. I'm pretty sure they got back with their ex 🫡

I am thankful it happened though because it helped me discover a lot about my gender and sexuality. It was my first relationship with someone who identified as a (nonbinary butch) lesbian and it helped me unpack a lot of internalized homophobia. I realized I had really mentally blocked myself for pursuing/exploring sapphic relationships due to familial and religious guilt. I didn't realize how much I had been holding myself back, what sort of relationships and experiences I was missing out on. I've dated and loved men in the past but I don't see myself doing so in the future.

It helped me explore my masculinity and butchness, too. I'd always been attracted to masculinity and identified with it, and ID'ed as a trans man for a while, before 2020. My gender felt like I was playing dress-up with my dad's suit- I had all the pieces to look/feel masculine, but it just never felt fully right. Square peg in a round hole situation. I didn't start to really explore butchness until after we broke up but I felt it fit me like a glove. I can't really articulate why but I feel a million times more in touch with my masculinity now than I ever did before. I think a big part of it is it's fully throwing out society's expectations of what it means to be "masculine". There's not a box to fit into, it's very existence is outside of the boxes. There's a longer post to be written about what 'butch' means to me, but if you're familiar with the 'little knight by the fire' poem- I connect with it deeply. I was that little knight, and I feel like I've grown up and come full circle.

This account has helped a lot when it comes to exploring what I desire and I'm glad people enjoy it! Y'all make me feel very desirable and confident 🐻🌻

[pacific-coast-hockey]

mod's awake past midnight bc he ate sugar too late, we are curating nick cicek debut quotes from sjhn articles i've had up in tabs for like three days!!!

from this sjhn article:

Those nerves were noticeable in the opening period, as Cicek fanned on a pass he was attempting to send up the boards to Nico Sturm. Instead, Jack Eichel picked it off, and soon after was able to score the opening goal of the game. Though not an ideal start for Cicek, his teammates immediately looked to pick him up on the bench.

“Pretty much the whole room came up to me and said ‘Don’t worry about it, you had a good first period with your NHL debut.’ They said mistakes happen all the time,” Cicek explained. “I mean it wasn’t my first mistake and it’s not going to be my last mistake. It’s going to happen, but I think I rebounded from that and kept going, and the boys definitely helped me out with that.”

"it wasn't my first mistake and it's not going to be my last mistake." GOD he's so levelheaded and sure of himself. and:

A debut of which he made clear was even more incredible than he could have ever imagined.

“Oh, I think it definitely lived up to it. I still got a smile on my face,” Cicek said. “I’ve been smiling all day. It’s been an incredible experience and can’t wait to keep going.”

weeping abt it!!!! smiling all day and can't wait to keep it going!!!

and this article:

“[Quinn] said he was happy with how I played,” Cicek told San Jose Hockey Now. “We talked about a couple of things that he thought I could have fixed a little bit, but overall, he was happy with my game, and he just wants me to build off it and keep being confident.”

and

Quinn added: “He’s a smart player. He makes a good outlet pass, closes on people quick, and he’s competitive.

“He played with a swagger, and if you’re going to be successful in this league, you better have swagger.”

david quinn u are forgiven

also very important from that article, his parents are engineering professors, a fact which will undoubtedly come in handy if i ever stick him in my sharkuda college au. (leno 😔)

and this article from the beginning of the season with quotes from him and jmac where jmac says encouraging things abt him (one thing i appreciated abt jmac in the preseason, his outlook seemed to be, i'm gonna get these chucklefucks to the nhl or die trying) and cheech is just very, i'm gonna work hard and do my best!!! your honor i am so proud of him

and then ofc he got his first nhl point against the red wings last night which made me pretty emosh tbh!! 1 assist, 0+/-, shorter toi than against vegas but i'm trying not to overthink it since from the espn box score it looked like quinn was just making karlsson carry the entire team on his back all night against the wings lol. cheech is getting better and more confident every day!! i did not watch the game bc i was marathoning shoresy (talk to me about this show) but when i checked the cuda beat accounts after the game, i saw lizz child having a meltdown which was great. i love her lol i'm gonna miss her enthusiasm when twitter finally eats it.

and the sharks featured him in their hockey fights cancer pregame runaway photo set which is important to me as someone who thinks nhl teams should be deal in pastel colors more often

swagger, as david quinn put it.