#I've never had to block this many blogs in one sitting before in my life! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rogersideup · 2 years

Text

Late Night Talking

The Smiley Sticker

Series Masterlist

Previous: Mrs. Rogers Next: Teddy Bears And Dinosaurs

Word count: 5,011

Summary: The morning of the worst day of your life started with you phone buzzing on the same pillow it rested on when you fell asleep talking to Steve.

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. CONTENT WARNING; Death of a character in battle

Today was a really bad day for the internet to be so spotty. You'd think in such a high tech building and work environment, you'd never have to deal with such an issue. But nope.

You had spent hours restarting all your computers, reconnecting to the internet, using hot spots, and searching for a spot in the building that had the strongest connection.

Usually you'd just log off and call it a day, but you were trying to find all the information you could on a possible enemy the avengers would have to go up against if the group continued acting shady. The more you dug, the safer they would be and the better they would be able to shut down illegal and world threatening operations.

So after a few hours of frustration, you had discovered one single spot in the building where the internet connection wasn't as slow as a snail. It happened to be in the lounge in the lobby, so you planted yourself on a couch with a snack and a latte, kicked your legs up on the coffee table and got to work.

Time became pretty irrelevant to you the deeper you got into your info search, and as mid-day rolled around and the lobby became bustling with employees, you had to pop on your noise canceling headphones to keep your concentration in tip top shape.

You kept your nose in your screen as you felt the couch sink next to you, and the love seat on your left become occupied. It was slightly annoying considering that there were at least four open conversation seating area's empty and available.

Then, a foot nudged yours on the coffee table. Your head snapped up to the person sitting on the loveseat, just to realize it was Tony, and when you looked over at who was sitting on the couch with you, and sure enough, it was Steve Rogers in the flesh.

Appropriately, your heart skipped a beat... or two... maybe three. Really, you wanted to throw up on the spot and your increased heart rate made you feel insatiably thirsty.

You didn't let your eyes linger for long, in fact they snapped back to your laptop screen and stayed there as your shaky hands disabled the noise cancellation feature on your headphones so you could listen in on the conversation happening between them.

"Tony, did you really have to pick right here? There so many open spots, we're being rude she's trying to work." Steve protested with annoyance.

"It's fine, she can't even hear us." He kicked back in his seat. Slouching and relaxing to the fullest extent.

Nothing was said for a few minutes, you could feel Steve's uneasy tension as he refused to get comfortable.

"...why did you bring me here?" He asked.

"Oh! Here" Tony handed him his laptop, obnoxiously reaching over you.

"Tony" Steve shook his head like a disappointed dad before taking the laptop.

You shot Tony a death glare, and his only response was to wink at you.

"I'm so sorry." Steve apologized to you, quickening your shaky hands.

"It's alright, I've known him long enough to determine that you aren't the impolite one in this situation." You grinned at Steve.

Internally you wanted to be happy, you knew that if he knew it was really you sitting next to him he would get an absolute kick out of the situation.

Maybe one day you could tease him about another time you had interacted with him face to face, you could already hear him accusing you of being a liar.

"Tony, any chance you're going to fix the internet soon?" You asked, trying your hardest to not follow any of your typical voice patterns that could give away your identity and ignoring the nausea brewing in the deep pit of your stomach.

If Tony wasn't here and in control of this situation, you'd be far more anxious over an interaction with an avenger. But for lack of better judgment, you seemed to trust him and whatever antics he might've been up too.

"Nope" Tony popped the P. "Noticed you had the best connection here in this spot which is why you're Rogers' babysitter now. Make sure he gets some work done."

Steve scuffed at his little production, and you rolled your eyes. "I think you're the one that needs constant adult supervision."

"Alrighty Eva, he'll need a snack in about an hour. If he needs water you can just pour it over him like a plant. Speaking of, there's plenty of sunlight in here, so he'll probably thrive. Oh, and if he eats after midnight he'll turn into a gremlin. Have fun." Tony sprang onto his feet and left while the two of you sat in moments of disbelief.

"He is the most exhausting and annoying person I've ever had to deal with." Steve mumbled under his breath, now accepting his fate of sharing the couch with you to actually get some work done.

"That makes two of us" You agreed, hoping the two of you could work alongside each other in peace with no conversation.

Well, you wished you could just talk to him. You wanted to engage him in so much conversation that work became nothing but a forgotten thought as the two of you giggled away and annoyed your peers. But for the sake of your anxiety, working in silence was the only thing you could handle at the moment.

Steve grinned at your comment before opening his laptop and getting to work. You managed to calm your racing heart when you realized the peaceful silence was actually achievable, then you decided to yell at Tony over text.

You: what the fuck is wrong with you

Tony: everything and nothing, why?

You: why????? What do you mean why?

You: what in the world made you force Steve to sit next to me?

Tony: I'm trying to prove a point

You: what point could this possibly prove?

Tony: that you don't need to be nervous around Buns o' Steele.

You: so this is a ploy to get me to reveal my identity to him.

Tony: Yes.

You: No.

Tony: okay well, he's also head over heels for you as Eva and you as smiles so I thought I'd throw the old dog a bone.

You: you're insane

Tony: is he talking to you?

You: No. because he's a rational human being that respects that I'm working.

Tony: this is why he never gets laid.

Deciding that this conversation was going nowhere, you closed out the text conversation and focused on your work again.

Hours flew by as you focused on your screen, you weren't sure if it was because you were actually invested in your work or if it was because you were trying your hardest to block out who had been sitting next to you this whole time.

You wrapped up your work day by sending off all the information you had recovered in an email to Steve with Tony CC'ed. The act of having to email the two of them had you biting in inside of your cheeks to hold back a smile over this ridiculous situation.

In another attempt to ease suspension, you lingered for a few minutes after sending the email, daydreaming about the fluffy cat waiting for you in your warm apartment. Eventually you started packing up your stuff, debating on if you should say bye to him or not. Luckily, that choice was made for you.

As you stood up and stretched your stiff back, his kind eyes found you for the first time in hours. "Hey, uh- again, I'm really sorry for Tony's behavior."

"Don't sweat it, I know how embarrassing he can be sometimes." You tried to ease his obvious worry over the situation, still overly cautious of your voice. "I'd bet money the internet will go back to normal now that I've finished my work for the day."

His eyebrows furrowed for a moment in confusion as he tried to figure out why you'd think that, but you saw the moment it hit him like a ton of bricks. A blush crept over his cheeks as he mumbled an "...oh my god"

Of course Tony would fuck up the building's internet connection as a ploy to get the two of you together.

You wanted to laugh, but you knew he would recognize your laugh in a heartbeat so you were left biting your tongue once more. "Hope you have a good night." Your lips settled on a smile.

"I-" he started but nothing came out, just making your smile stretch further. "You too"

You barely even had a chance to get through the front door before Steve was calling your phone.

It started with an immediate rant about how Stark was a pain in the ass, how embarrassed he was at the situation, and how much Tony had implied to Eva by leading him to her.

You calmed him down the best you could over the phone, but again you had to hold back laughter. Poor guy felt like he had just been put through the ringer, and admittedly you did too, but hearing his level of concern over the situation just because he thought you were pretty really flattered you.

"Baby..." You tried to stop his rant.

"It just so annoying that he can't even stay out of our personal lives. Like, none of the team can. You know what? I'm never opening my mouth again. One day I'll be married for four years and they're still going to think I'm single..." He spoke quickly.

"...my love" You tried again.

"I'm going to be retired with a wife, two kids and a dog and none of them are even going to know any of the avengers personally because they don't respect my privacy or my boundaries."

"Sweetheart..."

"How do you get him to keep your personal life personal? I mean for fucks sake, it's like you're the only one he respects. Well- for good reason. You deserve that respect but all I'm asking for is to not do dumb shit like force me to interact with a girl just because I think she's pretty."

"Dearest husband"

He huffed out a deep sigh. "Okay, sorry, I'm done. Just had to let it all out."

"That's okay" You reassured him. "First of all, he crosses boundaries with me all the time. Second, I think that even though the situation was annoying, nothing bad will come out of a girl knowing that you have a little crush on her."

"Crush? Are we in high school again, princess?" He asked dramatically earning your laugh. "I think it can be bad. Workplace relationships shouldn't happen if the power is imbalanced, and I have the power here. So if Stark keeps throwing me at her it's going to do nothing but make her uncomfortable, and cause an HR issue."

"Im pretty sure it makes you uncomfortable too, which means that Tony is the HR issue." You reminded him.

"Tony is always an HR issue" He agreed. "I don't get it. I'm a grown man, why can't they just let me navigate my love life by myself?"

"Because they're all bored, it's like watching an episode of reality tv for them."

"If you were in her shoes, would you be uncomfortable?" He asked, not even understanding the irony of his question.

"No" You answered way too quickly. "From what you told me, it seems like she knows it wasn't your fault."

Just to ease any possible suspicion, you thought of a diversion plan.

"Really?"

"Really." You said confidently.

"Well, how was your day, baby? Did you manage to get some stuff done? I noticed I got an email from you but I haven't opened it yet."

"I did, walked around the whole building to find internet and once I found a spot I stayed there all day. The email is just information for the next mission, you might want to look it over when you get the chance."

"I will, thank you to looking into it" He said sweetly and genuinely.

"You're very welcome, handsome."

"Where did you end up finding internet? Surely there was a better place to work than the lobby, right?" He asked.

Aaaannnndddd time for the plan.

"I mean, if there was any benefit to Tony's shenanigans, it's that you looked really super cute in that green sweater today." You dropped the bomb on him.

"Are you kidding me?" He asked, you didn't need to see him to know he was smiling and shaking his head. "You we're working in the lobby today too?"

"I mean, no. I worked at the coffee shop next-door. But when I walked through the lobby to get back home Captain America was sitting around in a forest green cable-knit and some tight fitting jeans. It was pretty hard to focus on anything, I could barely walk in a straight line."

"Okay, this is the worst day ever" He joked.

"Why is that?" You laughed.

"Because I was in the presence of one pretty girl without knowing that the prettiest girl in the universe was there too." He pouted.

"Well I can tell you that you were alone when I walked through." You added fuel to the fire.

"WHAT?! That was only like five minutes ago!" He complained.

"And I'm still all hot and bothered, sweet cheeks."

"Come back" He pouted.

"You're still in the lobby?" You questioned.

"No, but I'll go back too" He pouted some more.

"You're crazy" You laughed.

"...fricken green sweater" he mumbled, you heard the sound of rustling fabric. "...stupid jeans."

"Are you... getting naked?" You asked with a smile.

"No, I'm changing my clothes" He corrected.

"FaceTime. FaceTime right now. Have you every FaceTimed someone? FaceTime me. Get on FaceTime." You frantically joked, finally getting a laugh from the soldier in a bad mood.

"Sorry, shirt is back on." Steve giggled.

"Pants aren't?"

"Pants don't exist in my room." He said.

"That's fair" You agreed.

"Well, now that the internet is back on I'm going to go through my emails. I'll call you again later before bed, is that okay princess?"

"Of course it is, my love. Have fun with those emails"

He called you back a few hours later, and the chaotic conversations continued. Just like every night they slowly turned calmer and more personal. You both spilled your guts until you inevitably fell asleep, then the morning of the worst day of your life started with your phone buzzing on the same pillow it was on when you fell asleep talking to Steve.

A few profanities fell out of your mouth as you blindly reached for it and only opened your eyes for a split moment to see it was Steve. Of course it was Steve. Who else would it be?

Then, your heart raced out of your chest. It was still dark outside. Why was he calling when it was still dark outside? Your shaky thumb tapped the answer button before holding it to your ear.

"Good morning, sunshine" He sounded just as exhausted and annoyed as you were.

"What time is it?" You questioned through sleepy mumbles while rubbing your eyes, trying not to sound like you had a pit in your stomach.

"Three fifteen. Im sorry. I know you fell asleep late last night" He apologized. You already knew what was coming.

"Is this a booty call? I hope it's a booty call" Eeyore was inherently annoyed that you were moving around and trying to sit up, so he got off of you with an irritated meow before curling up on the end of the bed.

"It's me calling to tell you to get your booty out of bed because we need you"

"That's not the kind've booty call I was hoping for" You grumbled while getting up and throwing on a big sweatshirt and stepping into your slippers with smiley faces on them. Thanks Tony.

"Remember all that research you did yesterday? Yeah, well, that mission is being pushed up to right now. Turns out it’s a lot more detrimental than we all thought. I'm suited up and ready to go already so I have a few minutes to spare. Can I get you a coffee? Anything you need?" He offered.

"I'm okay, thank you Angel. Use those few minutes to get all Captainy- whatever that means" You dragged your feet down multiple empty hallways to reach your office.

"I already told you I'm in uniform"

"That's hot. You should send a picture" You flipped on all the lights in your office and got cozy on the swivel chair in front of the multiple projection monitors. Your phone dinged indicating you got a text, so she pulled it off your ear to take a quick glance at the screen. He actually sent a picture and it earned him a well deserved smile and tiny chuckle. "Oh wow"

"You like what you see?" He joked.

"I actually don't. That stealth suit is concerning. Are you all going stealth?"

"Yes ma'am. I think Sam and Tony are here, I'm going to hang up and connect us through, alright?"

"Alright. But hey, please be careful. Like- extra super duper careful." You practically begged.

"I will be, Princess" his cheeks warmed at the sentiment.

"Love you, I'm gunna keep my eye on ya real close"

"Love you more" he hung up.

As promised, you were connected to the comms where all the avengers slowly joined as they boarded the jet. In the meantime, you worked away at hacking into enemy intelligence to get them as much information as you possibly could. Even more than you were able to get yesterday.

On their flight over, you had even more time to get exact maps of the dense jungle terrain, pin point exact locations of everyone on enemy lines, and send it all over to Steve so he could devise a better and more accurate plan.

The late night turned early morning and inevitably afternoon as they fought tirelessly to win the battle. It really picked up speed at around 4 pm when the enemies were pulling out their last ditch efforts to get the team off their trail as their numbers dwindled to almost nothing.

You were exhausted and hungry, and the sound of each individual avenger in your ear along with all the battle sounds around them caused overstimulation that you tried her hardest to drown out while you worked your hardest to digitally take out foreign servers. You couldn't wait to rip the glasses off your face to spare your eyes from processing any more information for the day. The blue light emitting from the screens and projections was starting to sting.

Every minute or so, you would rip your eyes away from coding to check in on the avengers locations to make sure they weren't headed towards any hidden threats or getting into unnecessary danger.

"Smiles." Tony's voice spoke, he was met with the sound of keys typing and mumbling as you quietly read to yourself.

You didn't respond. What was on your screen was way more important... yet none of it made sense.

You got behind another firewall just to see the exact information you hoped you would never find. Your monitor was telling you that this mission was way more high stakes than anyone knew, and there was statistically only a 15 percent chance that they would all make it.

The words were like a riddle. You had to tune everyone out and read it over and over again in your head to decode and understand. All of the sudden, most of the voices in her your stopped. All but Tony.

"Earth to Smiles" He tried again.

"I'm confused, Hold on" You quietly mumbled while reading.

"You can trust Steve. He's your guy. Let him in" Tony spoke, but that statement also made no sense.

"I don't think this is the right time to have this conversation again. Where'd everyone go?" You asked, referring to the lack of voices in her ear.

"Just me and you right now, okay? Listen to me" He commanded, but you continued reading. "You'll always have Pepper. I'm sure the team would keep your secret safe, but I know for a fact that Steve will"

Holy shit.

Holyshitholyshitholyshit.

Your heart pounded out of your chest, and your stomach dropped to the floor when you finally decoded the message.

The enemy regime was trying to lure them all to a building set to implode at a temperature almost hotter than the fucking sun, and Tony was flying right towards it.

He wasn't playing match maker, he was giving you final words. He was trying to say goodbye to a friend.

"Tony. Get the fuck out of there. Right. Now." You panicked.

"It's okay, they're all going to be fine" He reassured.

You noticed all of their locations moving quickly in the opposite direction. Deep down you knew a sacrifice was the only way to get rid of the threat this organization had on the world.

"I'm not kidding, get out of there" You practically yelled into your headset as tears trickled down your cheeks.

"It's okay" He spoke calmly. "I worry about you, Kid. Take care of yourself, look out for Pepper."

"You have time" You pleaded as you watched him enter the building and all the communication went fuzzy.

"Stay saf-" your ears went quiet.

You switched herself back to the community channel but all of their voices were fuzzy too. You begged and screamed for them to try and get him out of there, but deep down boy knew it was of no use. It was like they all already knew, and there was an unspoken agreement. The static bit and sabotaged all of their words as they tried to end the battle on their end. Tony made the ultimate sacrifice, and he was honored to do so.

You could barely hear anyone's voices or make out what they were saying, but their location dots spread out again and Steve was headed right towards Tony to try to get him out.

But before he even made it, the sound of collapse cut through the static before the comms beeped twice to let you know it had gone completely offline.

You could see the building falling and erupting through your monitor, and Tony's green dot turn to red then black then completely disappeared.

Any composure you had completely crumbled like wet sand as everyone's dots turned to red for a split moment to let you know they were all in distress. All of them turned back to green and the tears spilled over the threshold.

The emotions came slowly at first, then faster than you could handle. You choked back sobs and felt so violently ill that you were trying not to throw up.

Unfortunately, there was protocol. You couldn't stop there. You had to focus through your blurry tear filled eyes as you typed away as fast as you could to try and connect to anyone.

The silence turned back to a steady static until the familiar artificial intelligence spoke to her.

"Smiles." Jarvis spoke.

His Stark manufactured artificial presence filled the room and dialed up your nausea to top notch. Jarvis and Tony were one in the same, all Jarvis was doing was reminding you of what you just lost.

You squeezed your eyes shut before looking at the floor, and your slippers were quite literally smiling at you. The nickname and smiley faces gifted to you all over your office couldn't have been further than the truth in that moment. You felt like you would never smile again.

"Yeah, Jarvis?" You sobbed, ripping your eyes off the floor just for them to land on yet another gift Tony gave you. A little golden plaque that read ‘worlds best system’s analyst technician’

"Mister Stark has passed away in battle" He officially announced.

A knife to the heart would be less painful than this.

"I know" You whispered.

"Communication is cut off, however, I can still see the Avengers"

"Are they okay? Can you tell them to get home now? There's nothing left for them" Your voice was full of desperation.

"They're currently making their way back to their transportation. Almost everyone is okay. Captain Rogers is in distress."

Those were the only words that could make you feel worse than you already did.

"Any insight on that?" You asked.

"He is not physically injured"

"Okay. Thank you Jarvis" You tried dismissing him.

"You are also in distress."

"Yep" You popped the P.

"Caption Rogers has sent a message. He would like for you to know that they have just started their journey home, and everyone else is okay. He sends his love and condolences." Jarvis informed you. "Get some sleep, Agent. I will take over from here"

And just as quick as he came, he was gone.

You locked up all your monitors before popping the hood of your sweatshirt over your head in attempts to not drag attention to yourself as the news broke to the public.

You bit your lip to hold back as much of the emotion as you could while you ran down the hall to your apartment. Emotions took absolutely everything out of you. After nosediving under your thick duvet, and Eeryore head butting your hands and licking the salty tears off your cheeks, you knocked out.

Your brain was screaming at you.

You needed to check in on all the avengers. You should be with Pepper, you needed to hear Steve's voice to know he was okay.

But you couldn't do any of that.

It was like you were paralyzed by the wave of grief that crashed over you, and despite your loud, screaming brain, there was nothing you could do but sleep. At least the sleep saved you a few hours of agony.

Meanwhile, Steve held it together the best he could. When all of the Avengers got home, news of Tony's passing had already made it around the compound. Agents lined the runway to solute the incomplete team on their arrival walk back into their living quarters. Everyone was a mess, but he was their leader so he had no choice but to hold back the extent of his emotions until he could have a moment to himself.

They all walked down the aisle created by the agents, the only sound was sniffling from the team as everyone else was respectfully quiet. He walked with his head down and a comforting arm around Natasha who just really couldn't keep it together.

His heart hurt for his team, but he was thankful they could all be together. Togetherness healed the soul faster than separation. He knew that if they were all apart it would feel so much worse, and he was happy to pick up all the dense arrangements that were to follow so that everyone else could relax and mourn however they needed.

Maybe sorting though hours of online paperwork and information on what to do in the event of Tony's death was how he needed to handle the grief ripping him apart at the seams. There was some sort of power in picking up all the weight Tony specifically left for him. There was a reason why he set all of this up under Steve's name, and if Tony wanted him to take over all of his responsibilities after he was gone, than so be it. He would be honored to do so.

The only thing that ripped his eyes away from the computer in front of him was a gentle knock of his office door frame. When he looked up, he saw the head of security standing there with a file in his hand.

"Hey, Happy" Steve greeted, trying to hide the devastation in his voice.

Happy Hogan was also one of Tony's closest friends. Seeing everyone who meant so much to him so close after his death ripped his heart out every single time.

"Hey. I've got one more for you, this one seemed more important than the rest. It was tucked away in a secret compartment labeled specially for you in the event that he.... you know-" Happy walked in further and gently placed the file down on his desk.

"Thanks" His eyes looked down at the file, there was a big yellow smiley face sticker on the top.

"I know there's not much anyone could say to make this better. We're all in the same boat, but whatever it's worth I think that taking her under your wing would put Tony at ease" Happy pointed to the file.

"Her?" Steve questioned.

"Smiles. That's all her information, everything about her arrangement, terms of employment, name, birthdate, even information about her cat." Happy explained. "Tony thought of her like a daughter, she was at his house more often than not. Smiles is a very special little thing, just- try to keep her that way" He gave a polite grin and Steve gave him a little nod before Happy turned around and got back to his own personal work.

Steve sank into his chair with a heavy sigh and a sore brain. He could handle everything else, but your file really did a number to his declining mental capacity.

He ran laps around what the morally correct option was. Steve really valued and respected everything about you, and having this file felt like an invasion of privacy. But on the other hand, you were all alone. You didn't get the luxury of grieving the loss surrounded by the team, you didn't get to say goodbye, you couldn't call the shots on the battlefield that ultimately led to this.

No control, no support, not even hugs from the Avengers. His heart absolutely broke for you.

His fingers traveled over the top of the smooth smiley sticker over and over as he debated how to handle this. With your best interest in mind, he knew what he needed to do.

He knew he needed to handle it the way Stark would've wanted him too. Steve vowed in that very moment that he would look out for you by any means necessary.

Under his watch, under his wing, you would always be safe and you would always be special.

Next: Teddy Bears And Dinosaurs

(Oop decided to end on a cliff hanger… sorry! Do you think Steve is going to open the file? ;) )

366 notes · View notes

ohchosen · 4 months

Text

AUTHOR PORTRAIT ... get to know the author behind the blog! repost, don't reblog !

BASICS

NAME: val AGE: 24 PRONOUNS: she / they YEARS OF WRITING: ok how specific are we talking. because i can say like circa 2010 i was on facebook writing bad twilight fanfiction + rp ( which then progressed into bad thg fanfiction ) or i can say elementary school and my little short stories i was always ad - libbing. regardless, it's definitely something i've had a knack for my whole life and it was literally just a matter of time before i found out about rp. and yes before you ask it was my personal facebook. when i was 11. that had all of my relatives added. yes they saw it. years writing on tumblr is different and i think i jumped ship and found out about tumblr rp around 2012 / 2013 and with that came my first formative decision which was to watch supernatural. you know where this is going. yes it was bad. no i'm not showing anyone.

REFLECTION

WHY DID YOU PICK UP WRITING? i needed a hobby and had unrestricted internet access. i kind of answered this in the question before so jokes on me blah blah blah but without getting too personal i had a very difficult time in school with mental health and tumblr, known weird kid haven, was my little safe space where i could freely pursue what i enjoyed and was really my first venture into fandom spaces. i started in the supernatural rpc [ horror music ] and slowly meandered my way through book fandoms, to animanga, and finally settled on the video game community where i've been good and SAT for like six years now.

DO YOU HAVE ANY WRITING ROUTINES? not necessarily. it's a miracle if i'm able to sit down long enough to open up my drafts and get going, but if i can lock in i'm all set. i find it hard to listen to music while writing because my brain cannot separate the two and i will accidentally start writing down the lyrics but i've never actually considered tuning into instrumentals so ,, thank you vos. writing that down............

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WRITING? stealing from vos in stealing answer solidarity but the rp community aspect. it can be awful and exhausting as some of us know good and well but it can also be incredible depending on who you surround yourself with. it's so validating finding people who share your little niche interest or even niche - er pairing ( hi vos ) and then to just completely devolve into sending memes and posts and screaming until 2 am in dms. i've met so many of my closest friends through rp, and stealing vos' answer again, but the characters i write who turn out the most developed are those who have been shared with friends. noctis would be nowhere near as fleshed out as he is if not for the people i met in the ff fandom all those years ago.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING. oughhghh, um. i'm bad at taking compliments and even worse at complimenting myself so bare with me.

i've definitely grown a lot in terms of style and prose, and i'm actually pretty happy with what i'm able to spit out in terms of aesthetic styling as compared to even a few years ago. one of my biggest insecurities ( that still pops up here and again mind you ) was never being able to match length, and i was in the worst writers' block for a few years that i finally managed to escape out of around 2020 and now i can confidently say i'm writing more regularly than i ever have. so to answer the question: it has been my personal growth in my writing and it turning into something i can be confident in and proud of.

i really do enjoy the mundanity of editing my replies. i love to see the progress i make edit by edit and how cohesive and put together a piece of writing becomes the longer i work on it. i fully 100% devote myself to one reply at a time, which is a nightmare for quantity but sooooooo rewarding if it means i can put something out to the best of my ability and not stress myself out worrying about whatever else i owe. i am a self appointed slowpoke, and i've learned over the years to not let myself feel guilty about that because as long as it can become something i devote time on and put effort into, then it really shouldn't bother me how long it takes.

three things is too much to ask for lets all just walk away slowly.

A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON

HAVE YOU MADE ANY STRONG CONNECTIONS / FRIENDS DURING YOUR TIME WRITING? i'm pretty sure this question was intended for vos only but its way too late now and i've already written your accolades so you have to deal with it. this post is just going to be exceptionally long now.

vos @stagehunt my right hand man who has been with me for every gacha related poor financial decision. everything you said i'm literally sending right back to you. i knew no one in that fandom and was in way out of my depth before stumbling across you and your blog. i am so thankful we crossed paths and shoved our little barbie dolls together and said kiss because developing, and i mean really developing tomo would not have happened without your input. at this point you definitely deserve writing credits on him too because the way he turned out would be nowhere near the same if not for your influence. i've had a blast experiencing genshin's story with you and knowing without fail you'll be thinking the exact same thing whenever hyv fumbles the bag again, and yes. one day i GUESS i'll play more than 7 hours of hsr. luv u xoxo.

plum, @sherez, my love, my heart. it's crazy how fast the years have flown by and now all of a sudden i've known you since 2018??? i still remember seeing you from afar on ez and always being blown away by how much love and devotion you put into your characters. we are quite literally bonded for life after surviving the [ redacted ] rpc and i can't think of anyone better to come out beside than you. you can't get rid of me bitch!!!!!!!!! the amount of effort and care i've seen you throw into v, and how far she's come in terms of development blows me away. she is easily one of the best written characters i've ever had the pleasure of reading and i am so excited to keep following her growth. besides how freakishly talented you are, it's astonishing how much we have in common. bc who tf else would i be talking to about forgotten mcr lore in the year of our lord 2024. if no one got me, i know plum got me. booket....... booket for my sweety.......

lu @tactition its crazy how in the short little time we've spent together how much i've bonded with u. if i got down on one knee and pulled out a ring would u say yes.... my yaoi soulmate........ its INSANE how well our character Types (tm) mesh together, and i know karma is coming with its kiss for me when i finally download nier and have to atone for what i put u thru when i made you play final fantasy. please be gentle with me im delicate........... real talk tho.. you have so quickly become such an important person in my daily life and i literally feel myself go !!!! whenever i see a new dm from you because i know its always gonna be good. your character takes blow me away and even for myself who's nearly 7 years deep into the final fantasy scene, it amazes me how you still manage to shed light and new perspective on characters i've known for years. let’s kiss freaky style.

i've very much condensed my little bubble into people i actually want to surround myself with atp, and there's always a handful of mutuals on every blog that i don't necessarily talk to but who have been with me for years now so. sorry you can't leave or i'll become a danger to myself and others. kisses :*

WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE MOST INSPIRATION FROM? this is definitely a muse - specific question since it varies from character to character. with noctis specifically, it's mostly music. i have a few different playlists for him after writing him for so long, and while i can't listen while i write they all offer different types of mood setting for him. other times, its media involving fantasy tropes or characters that have similar struggles to him, off the top of my head ( and something i connected early on ) is the character u.enoyama r.itsuka from given. there's a lot i could say here regarding which aspects i took inspiration from but the majority was the similar personality he has to noctis, the internal thought process he offered when i read the manga, and the way he struggled with his sexuality that struck the loudest chord. don't quote me on any of that since i haven't been caught up with given for like 5 years now but !!!!! yeah the end.

NEW QUESTION: how do you relate to your character personally? are there any overt similarities to the two of you?

tagged by @stagehunt my lover..... tagging - @lunabrae @tactition @sherez

#tw wall of text jesus christ #* ˖ · 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 — local man ruins everything .

8 notes · View notes

smileylover99 · 1 year

Text

Tagged by @weprovideleverage

thank you for the tag :)

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag blogs you would like to get to know better.

a - age: 23

b - birthplace: The North of the Netherlands

c - current time: 21:03

d - drink you last had: water as well, most times it is

e - easiest person/people to talk to: my sister

f - favorite song: god idk it's always changing imma go with the free life by Turbowolf

g - grossest memory: i've mostly blocked it out but there was this one campsite in France and when we arrived the sanitary building closest to us were nice and clean, but then for like the week we stayed there they never cleaned it 🙃

h - horror yes or horror no: no mostly, but occationally (I have also listened to tma)

i - in love?: not so far, and probably not ever

j - jealous of people?: rarely

l - love at first sight or should I walk by again?: save yourself the effort, I would like to be friends at first sight tho

m - middle name: no thank you

n - number of siblings: said sister from question e

o - one wish: long term probably like happiness, short tem a bigger appartment

p - person you called last: I had like a communication training and a week later we had to physically call an actor to do like a final practice convo before the real deal

q - question you are always asked: people don't really ask me questions?? the best i can think of is like what do you do? are you still studying? from like relatives and my parents neighbours

r - reason to smile: it's the weekend

s - song you sang last: Durch den Monsun by Tokio Hotel dkjlajdkl

t - time you woke up: at 8:00

u - underwear colour: black and white dots

v - vacation destination: I have a couple of places. I really want to see the northern light so like iceland or northern Norway for that one. I also wanna go back to Hong Kong because my last trip got cut quite abruptly. Also I want to see Tokyo.

w - worst habit: probably like scaring myself out of things ill enjoy

x - x-rays: oh shit it's good you mentioned the teeth thing cause ive gotten many a pictures of my teeth done, never broken a bone tho

y - your favorite food: I love spätzle, which i should make more often

z - zodiac sign: Leo, which is like the super social butterfly, i consider my self more a social moth, very energetic at random times and sit completely still for the rest

People who I want to get to know better: @itwoodbeprefect @ghost-faeries @pomato-queendom @localsealboy @pablothefrog (Only if you want to, of course.)

#actually trying to improve on my bad habit by interacting with people online lol #tagged in

4 notes · View notes

sehodreamsthoughts · 3 months

Note

lmaoo thank u baby i am completely normal though dw (no i am not)

also i didn’t wanna like double text but in response to what u posted about on ur main blog.. i’m glad ur not going to be tolerating hate, it pains me to see when ppl get shit on when they don’t deserve it whatsoever.. i was going to say in one of my previous messages too that entitled asks or anon hate almost always rub me the wrong way that the person sending them are a minor and if not, well they still shouldn’t be reading fics because that’s not appropriate behaviour… ik we’re writing n talking about some wild stuff but still… have some class.

i’ve been wanting to start my blog for a while but ppl are just so weird and/or judgmental on here (or in general irl) and so it just always deters me when i see ppl misbehaving lol… but i think if i did receive hate i would go about it as u do. block, and delete because i don’t want stuff like that preserved on my blog.. i understanding shaming ppl for their inappropriate asks but i think i would personally just not wanna give ppl a platform. i believe ppl send asks like that for attention too or because they get off on conflict.. weirdass behaviour.

so, long story short i support u and i’m so sorry u have received any negative asks at all because u don’t deserve that and ppl are awful, but u seem like a strong, smart person but still, u shouldn’t have to deal with that and i’m sorry that you’ve had to.

- 🥟 anon

"Strong smart person" baby I don't know about that since I'm totally a crybaby but thank you 😭🩷

To be honest when I just started my blog I did answer a couple of hate asks but then I was pretty weird out by them, like okay you don't like it then just block me???? And I totally think the same, the people sending useless hate asks are definitely kids or or people that get off to conflict, but my time (everyone's) is so precious I simply started ignoring and deleting. I don't particularly feel hurt by those messages since I know what I do doesn't hurt anyone in real life, I put tw and I'm careful to not trigger anyone so I feel I do enough for them 🤷‍♀️, if they don't want to read they don't have to, and if they do is not my problem at all so 🫏🫏🫏

I never blocked that much unless I really dislike the person, and I was honest when I said I didn't care who read my blog or not, but letting children do it is absolutely something I won't ever support, and blank blogs never were a big deal to me until I saw someone do a weird question in my comments that only could've been done by one so there's when I realized "oh, these could be underage..." and god, the idea of them reading my stuff just... No, it doesn't sit well with me at all 🤢

Thank you baby for supporting me tho 🩷, in the end I guess I also didn't care since I saw that there were other people like you that actually liked what I did so for me that was more than enough to just keep going.

Oh, and I still think you should make your blog but of course it's totally your own decision 😭, you should do what makes you feel comfortable in the end! In my case I started my blog just because I was bored and had done an Anton fic when the power was off in my district (third world country ✨), and then I just kept going??? 😭, I never gave it much thought to what having a blog would involve 💀. I've been a small blog for a long time, before at most I would receive one ask per week and talked to only one person in DMS (I still remember them even if they're not that much in Tumblr anymore). I never thought I would suddenly gain more followers one day? (Not like I have a million, but I appreciate the little I have) and even more I never expected to have met so many good people like my moots and my wife and anons like you that make me happy whenever I see my inbox, I guess I'm focused more on the positive side and that's also why I seem like kind of a pushover when I suggest you to have your blog but that's just me too so 😅👩‍🦯

#🥟 anon #love you my precious empanada

0 notes

olivieraa · 5 months

Text

its gotten to the point where this word is basically slang since everyone uses it, but it reminds me of ocd as well since everyone uses ocd to describe being quirky or neat or somewhat clean, but "hyperfocused" is a word that's so attached to my being, that it irks me beyond belief when I see people describe their hyperfixation or whatever on something fucking stupid in which they really could just use the word "focused"

hyperfixation is absolutely integral to my ocd. its one of the main things I cant control.

the best way I can put it is someone being lazy and so they decide to procrastinate, do literally anything other than what they're supposed to be doing. and they just cant bring themselves to do the thing. they continuously nope out of it even when they sit their asses down to do the thing and then they're like "ah I need to go to the store for toothpaste!"

I have a fear of hyperfocusing on something bc then that's it. I'm glued to that till I'm finished/its over/its done, whatever it may be. could take days, or weeks, or months.

it has screwed me up in school, in jobs, in college, even just being online.

I used to love watching AMV's when I first entered the internet. just casually watching them. until my brain realised I shouldn't just casually watch them. they should be organised and categorised. and then 3 categories became 8, and then 14, and then I had 20 playlists of AMV's based on things I cant even remember until I one day had to stop watching AMV's altogether bc I turned it into a chore. and I knew then at that point they couldn't be enjoy anymore. I couldnt just put one on for fun. I knew I'd categorise it, and want to go onto the next one, and do it to that too. so I stopped altogether and never went back. this simple fun quick thing I cut off completely.

on tumblr, I casually reblogged everything and anything on this site when If irst came on here until I realised what tumblr actually was and had to start tagging things so that they were organised on my blog. but oh no. I didn't just tag the character, the anime, and the whatever else. it got to the point where a reblogged picture of just Joey had about 18 tags. to make matters worse, I wanted my tags alphabetical, and it was during the time you couldn't rearrange the order of tags. so if I realised I was missing a tag that started with the letter c, I had to delete all the previous tags to put that c word in and then retag again. post after post after post. I got to page 100 on my blog before I panicked that I may have missed something and started again. ...and then I started again. and again. so I stopped tagging. bc I stopped going to school bc I was tagging my blog. that's all I did for days. I didn't do anything else. I was completely focused on the organisation of my blog. and so I had to stop myself from ever tagging again. my '#niece watches' tag doesnt count bc they're there mainly for blocking purposes lmao

another online example, it happened at christmas when I decided to watch attack on titan. I'd made the decision to start again from the beginning (despite having seen season one 4 times) bc my plan was to put on something I could casually watch and pause and do work and then take breaks and go back to watching and it'd be so easy.

nope. I binged 100 eps in 5 days. I went to bed at 5-6am. I couldn't stop. and I'm not even kidding, the best way I can describe it is, lets say you've the most important test of your life in 1 week. and you need to study. and you ASSUME that during your lil break times you can casually watch attack on titan, SPECIFICALLY for chosen break times, maybe once and hour, but studying is priority bc the exam is in ONE WEEK and you haven't started studying. so maybe you'll get through like, idk, maybe 7 eps a day?

episode fucking ONE hooked me in. an ep I've seen so many times. HOOKED me in. like I hadn't seen it before. I was absolutely glued to it. ep 1 ends and I'm like "oh wait I should study............ but like, its fine. I'll do one more ep and then do EXTRA study."

another ep, another ep, another ep. I got to ep 6 and was about to click 7 and was like

to my goddamn brain.

I momentarily won. I managed to do about 20 mins of study, then watched ep 7-14 in a row. still on day one. I opened a book for a total of 20 mins. so I promise myself, bc this test is so important and high priority, that I'll properly start tomorrow.

it never happened. I did nothing other than watch that show and do basic necessities. for 5 days. I had no control over this decision. its like there's another me who always wins. always wins. and she's evil. I had to finish the show before I could move on. it had to be complete.

I dont know how to get out of these moments. I remember when I went to my second ever job I told them about how it screwed me over a little in my first retail job (stocking shelves, oh but didn't those shelves need to be perfect. even if I was supposed to have been on aisle 4 or 5 by the time the managers came back to check in on me, no no I was still on aisle one perfecting aisle one. and nobody was going to ruin it for me, boss or not.)

and they told me it seemed like a good thing in the second job! but I was like "no I cant let it happen here, I cant. it gets bad."

and it happened. they put me in charge of a task and I found it hard to do anything other than perfect that task to the point that I was focusing on doing that same thing every day to keep it perfect, even when I was told to do something else.

so... yeah. they overuse of hyperfixation and hyperfocusing when people just mean "I was focused on this thing" drives me insane

crazy person rant over

#that's why I learned my lesson and watched banana fish #jujutsu kaisen and durarara during time off lmao #I didn't think attack on titan would do it bc I didnt care for the show that much originally #but I damn well knew I couldn't risk it with drrr #and banana fish and jjk were new to me so didn't wanna risk them either

0 notes

speakingagain · 7 months

Text

Hi,

I'm Mae, I'm 24 years old and tired of giving a shit. I have created this blog for a few reasons. As stated in the description, I have a lot to say but never say it. This is a bad habit that I've had for many years and it has negatively impacted me in multiple ways.

I struggle greatly with opening up, trusting others and letting myself be vulnerable with anyone but my dog. That's not exactly healthy. And I know that ideally, one should deal with mental health issues such as this one with a professional, like therapy.

However, I live in the US and as a part of the lower class, that's a whole ass joke. Insurance is expensive, therapy is expensive, I don't qualify for state provided insurance and even if I did, the waiting list to get seen is several months out, if not longer. And I'm honestly one slight inconvenience of losing my shit. So Tumblr it is.

This blog is not meant to gain a ton of views. I'm not looking for followers, likes, fame or anything of the like. I don't care about that and I don't care about your negative opinions on my issues and/or feelings. My life is too much of a dumpster fire as it is to really care. So if you have nothing nice or supporting to say, don't waste my time or yours by commenting. You will get blocked, and I'll think about it for like 15 minutes max before I get distracted by my own lack of attention span. I personally think it's a waste of both of our time.

I'd also like to make it clear that I am aware that I am the cause of most of my own problems. I make dumb decisions more often than not and that's something I'm trying to change. Hence the blog.

If you want to say something nice, funny or supporting, I do encourage it and because we can all use some positivity in our lives because the world is shitty enough as it is.

A little bit about me.... I have no life. I work overnights and have two jobs, as an RBT (registered behavioral tech) and as a QMAP (Qualified Medication Administering Person (because they needed to make a whole title of it apparently)). I got married at 19 because I was an idiot who was (and still is... lets be honest) desperate for love and support while also being a brat wanting to rebel from my family. I'm currently working on getting a divorce, but I'll be honest, it's not high on my priority list right now even though it definitely should be.

I have a dog, she is 10 years old, and a lab/pittbull mix. She's a big old goofy girl and she thinks she's a lap dog. She's the highlight of my life even though she has approximately 3 brain cells per day. Her favorite things involve being a crack head, stealing food, and forcefully cuddling anyone not strong enough to push her off (me and her grandma basically). She has weird habits like trying to hide her plush toys outside and then forgetting they exist. For the last 5 years I had her, she barked only a handful of times but since I moved back in with my mom, she has started barking regularly. I try to be mad about it but she sounds like a strangled turkey and it's honestly hilarious. She loves fireworks but is absolutely terrified of hot air balloons, I have no idea why.

I live with my Mom for a few reasons, like the rising cost of living, me getting a divorce and her being lonely. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves (like most mother/daughter relationships) but most of the time we just make wise cracks and talk shit and occasionally smoke the devil's lettuce together. Our favorite thing to do is watch TV together, vape and then sit under the stars in the summer and talk about whatever comes to mind and laugh until we get eaten alive by mosquitoes.

She also has a dog, but technically it's her boyfriends (he's just currently out of the country being a tech nerd). This dog, is also 10 years old, and is a weird Shiba inu/Chihuahua mix? That's our best guess. We were told by her breeder she was purebred Shiba inu but she looks weird and shakes as much as a Chihuahua does so we took a guess. She's sassy and spoiled but also adorable. She broke and dislocated her ankle last month while jumping out of the car and just had surgery the other day to repair it. She's been high on pain meds for the last 48 ish hours and it's both sad and hilarious because she is half shaved but also stares at the floor for 25 minutes trying to decide if she should lay down or not.

I have 3 siblings (technically 4, but that's unnecessarily complicated and he's kind of an asshole who I haven't seen more than 2 times in the last 7 years so it's fine). I have two older sisters and and older brother. They live across the eastern side of the US, living their best lives as they can. I like to think we are all super close but there's always long spans of time we just get so busy with our adult lives that we kind of forget each other exist and then after like a month and a half, someone sends a meme in the group chat and no one shuts up for the next 2 weeks. Family, am I right?

My father is for lack of better terms, an POS. He's uninvolved and we are all better off for it. He's a waste of time and space. I may go further into details in later posts where I explain my lengthy daddy issues, but honestly, he's a loser who looks like a fat and homeless hobbit but lives off his 80 something year old mother. Like I said, POS.

For my hobbies, I enjoy sleeping, being sarcastic, and pretty much anything involving art. Photography, drawing and painting are my favorites. I am attempting to learn how to tattoo but it's way harder than it looks and my motivation is about as consistent as my attention span. Non existent.

I'd compare it to trying to draw on raw chicken with a vibrator taped to a pen.

I love music and it's one of my main coping skills. I like metal, pop, and some rap. (I am proud and un proud of being able to rap with Nicki Minaj with Bottoms Up). And indie pop is a top favorite recently.

I am an introvert at heart but at the same time, I don't know how to shut up (as you can probably guess from this long ramble) and have little to no filter. A lot of people find me weird and unsettling. They aren't wrong. Sometimes I wish I was a proper extrovert because I think that if I had more self confidence (and the social battery to be around people) I'd have a lot more fun and have more memories beyond working and staying at home watching Supernatural or The Witcher (I'm a sucker for pretty boys).

I'd love to go out more, meet more people and experience life. I'd like to go clubbing and go to bars and socialize. Maybe have a hoe phase. I'd love to meet new people and make memories and have funny stories to tell my 13 cats when I'm old. But quite frankly, I hate people. I hate loud and crowded places. And I especially hate being touched. It generally comes down to me getting outside my comfort zone and also having friends who have time to do that shit. And money. That's a reoccurring problem for everyone though.

That's pretty much me, thanks for reading, and I'm proud if anyone actually read this whole thing. I appreciate each and every one of you, and I'm glad you're here. Don't give up on your mental health journey and take care of yourself, yeah?

Wish me good luck on my journey to get over the shit I've got going on in my brain, I'm gonna need it.

Picture is of my dorky dog, Sable 😊

#mental health #dogs #i have no idea #whoops

1 note · View note

yan-lorkai · 2 years

Text

Take me home

A/N: The initial idea of this oneshot was an angst and it somehow became this. Heavily inspired by the fanfic written by @beels-burger-babe so go read it as soon as possible!

Warnings: Implied bullying, implied altered memories, implied depressed reader, soft yandere!Solomon, chapter 16/17 spoilers. Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked!

"You know, even after all this time I've been waiting for the sun to come up," You turned to see Solomon sitting next to you, not caring if the clothes he wore would be soiled with dirt. You focused on the huge garden of the House of Lamentations, seeing how the white lilies were the flowers that stood out the most in the faint light of the moon. Subtle and beautiful, but sad and lonely, almost as monochromatic as you. "But I forget that in Devildom there is no sun, no source of light or anything else alive. It makes sense for this place to be like this, it's treacherous and false."

You wiped the tears from your eyes with anger and force, it was exhausting how you had to prove over and over again that you were worthy of some respect and that you weren't just a fragile human made of glass or how you had to swallow your pride and keep your mouth shut when you heard the demons' comments in the halls of the RAD. It was suffocating to pretend that everything was fine after so many threats, indifference and, you admit that part with some difficulty, after living and witnessing your own death at the hands of the Avatar of Sloth.

Your coming back to life was a mere whim on account of the exchange program and you could laugh at how they all didn't care about your death, as if bringing you back to life through time and from a completely different timeline was something that always happen. But now it was worse. It was almost as if now that the brothers knew that Lilith was your ancestor, and you hated that fact fervently, they should treat you more carefully, with more affection and respect.

To hell with that.

You couldn't say that you totally hated them, as there were so many good times that you all had together, but there were so many words stuck inside your throat that needed to be said before you could allow yourself to forgive them. The fear and despair you felt when Leviathan tried to kill you when you won the quiz, the way Beel broke a wall over a custard and stuff like that made you bubble with rage, but also made you tremble with fear. In these situations you were alive by sheer luck, until your luck ran out and his hands latched onto your throat. You didn't want to imagine what Diavolo and the brothers would have said to your family, to your parents if you were just an ordinary human, someone they didn't care about.

Would they at least take your body back to be buried?

They had already made excuses for all these actions, forgotten all the trauma and stress that befell you after going through each situation. None of them apologized to you, none of them bothered to keep an eye on you or asked if you were okay, physically and mentally. You no longer had the strength to do the same, even getting out of bed had become a chore and not something natural.

What were you to them? Were you just... A replacement to take the place Lilith left?

"MC, my dearest, they don't deserve your tears. You've been so strong and endured so much. I know you like them, but sometimes the people we care about are the ones that hurt us the most." A cool hand touched your skin carefully, making you jump. Solomon wiped away your tears tenderly as he always did when you sought refuge in Purgatory Hall after having a problem with the brothers - which was more often than he would have liked, his smile tightening in pain to see you like that and he pulled you into his lap, holding you tight and massaging your back. “MC, no matter how great your pain, never forget that I will always be close to comfort your heart. Humans stick together after all."

It was weird. Mere words seemed to warm your heart, perhaps because, besides Luke and Simeon, Solomon was the one who treated you with unparalleled kindness, always making you laugh with his old stories and brightening your darkest and coldest days in Devildom. He was warm like a light at the end of the tunnel and his arms made you feel the same security you felt when you lay in your parents' bed and slept with them, strong and confident, warm and loving, and you always felt your heart beating fast when you were around him. Even now when a broken laugh escaped your lips as you looked deep into his blue eyes, your heart was pounding.

It was painful how your heart was torn apart by the brothers' action and yet, surviving to receive Solomon's affection. He was after all a valued friend and only time would tell if the two of you were anything more.

"It hurts... I wanted..." You whispered between sobs. "Can you... Take me home with your magic? Can you take me back to the human world? I can't stay here anymore without feeling sick, I can't stay right here without feeling like I'm going to burst into tears every five minutes under pressure. Please Solomon. Do it for me."

He licked his lips. Of course he would, he couldn't deny your request in any way. Even if there were consequences for running away halfway through the exchange program, he still didn't care. His hand came to rest on your head and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. Your eyes were slowly closing as you clutched the black cape around his shoulders, your tears dried from the corners of your eyes, the bitter smile fading and finally you were sleeping on his lap, lit only by the dim light coming from the moon. Your ethereal beauty held him still and he tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear before rising with you in his arms.

He looked at your vulnerable body and your sad, helpless expression in his arms and for the first time in all those months, he disagreed with the exchange program and everything it stood for. Maybe it would be better if humans didn't live with demons, the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos had proved the ineffectiveness of that program when they let you be tossed around, when they let the rumors about you spread, when they let those demons that pushed you down the stairs get away with it. As protector of the humans he was supposed to take care of you, intervene when the pressure got too much, but even he failed, the brothers didn't trust him after all and always stopped you from being around him.

And then when Solomon made Devildom just a bad dream for you, after your ancestry was removed from your head so it wouldn't cause you more pain and you focused only on him, Solomon would come back here to teach them that there are limits to certain things and being the source of your unhappiness was something the brothers would learn to bitterly regret.

And you didn't need any of them anyway, he decided as he worked to break Devildom's magical barriers, as the earth at his feet shook and the screams in the House of Lamentation echoed. For a moment the sky was filled with light and magic so clear it might have been heavenly, if not for the sorcerer was shaking with negative feelings, he would take you home, take care of you, and he would keep that happy smile on your face at all costs.

Your days of suffering are over, MC. Solomon promises to take care of you very well.

#obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me swd #swd obey me #obey me #yandere obey me #dark obey me #solomon #obey me solomon #yandere solomon #yandere solomon x mc #yandere solomon x reader #soft yandere #solomon x mc #solomon x reader #lorkai imagine

294 notes · View notes

avensthetic · 3 years

Text

𖥻⠀،⠀‹ BECUASE I LIKE YOU ↷

▾ ꭛ ˖ ︴CHARACTERS : yan! zhongli x reader

▾ ꭛ ˖ ︴WARNINGS : dark, toxic relationship, yandere zhongli (?), death, violence

▾ ꭛ ˖ ︴DISCLAIMER : i do not glorify violence or toxic relationships. if you are in one (as i've been as well though not extreme as this), do seek help. if you do get triggered by this, do not interact! minors aren't allowed on my blog as well!

▾ ꭛ ˖ ︴NOTE : another angst?? and a dark theme at that 👁. i swear i don't like angst. also, this is my first time writing dark themes so if there is a problem with what i wrote, do tell me. as usual, english is not my first language so please watch out for errors.

people think i’m a good kid but they don’t know my true self...

to everyone, zhongli was the finest example of a gentleman; refined and classy, tall and well-versed in almost anything. the consultant of wangsheng funeral parlor is the living embodiment of perfect.

it was why you got intrigued by this man in the first place.

if you play with me today as well, i’ll give you something sweeter tomorrow...

his words were sweeter than honey, bewitching you like the pied piper. like a naive fool, you fell for his honeyed words, his sweet gaze, and his gentle caress on your skin.

you were right where zhongli wanted you. in all his time walking the soil of teyvat, you surpassed by far every beauty he'd witness—even his first love. zhongli had never felt such strong emotions before you came along and he decided there and then he won't let you go, whether you approve of it or not.

with your emotions clouding your reasoning and with it spurred on by the ex-archon's calculated moves, you ignored everything but him.

"are you sure?" he asked, but of course it was empty. even if you back out, zhongli will never let you go.

"i want to be with you," you answered, a smile playing on your lips, one that only showed how euphoric it felt with his gentle hands on your waist.

with an angelic face, tell me you love me, because I love you...

again and again, he made you repeat a three-letter word that by now had almost lost its meaning.

"i love you, zhongli."

it didn't sit right with your tongue. it tasted bitter, like how your perspective of him changed. he got more controlling, and you know if he wishes to, he'll get his hands dirty. zhongli, after all, can't afford to have anyone's eyes on you.

declarations of love turned to declarations of hate and bitterness.

why would he lock you in his home?

the chains that held you back from freedom dug purple hues on your skin. looking at it, you felt suffocated. the multicolored world you view in your eyes was now reduced to purple and red like the marks blooming cruelly on your flesh.

it didn't bother zhongli, you were pretty either way.

forever love, even your breath, it’s all forever love...

it becomes more and more blue, your expression is like an ocean view...

you've lost count of how many times you tried to reason with him but the man being a former god was stubborn, so you tried to escape.

zhongli did not like that.

fistful of your hair got caught in large hands. the scream that escaped your mouth turned to desperate gasps for air. the large hand that covered your neck slowly blocked the passage of the airway in your lungs.

"zhong...li..." you clawed desperately to get his hands off you but the dangerous glint in glowing gold eyes proved your effort to be hopeless.

"you deserve punishment," he growled and your eyes watered.

mustering what's left of your strength, you uttered, your voice laced with venom. "i hate you."

so creepy, yes, what you’re saying is right...

it’s fine even if you refuse me, another voice of mine will call you instead...

zhongli smiled at his handiwork. you were so so pretty beneath him, eyes devoid of life.

no matter what state you're in, even if you had made him angry—spouting nonsense like how you hate him, zhongli still loves you. now you won't part from him ever again.

just the way you are, will you stay with me? as a beautiful painting...

zhongli spoiled you, buying you different sets of clothing, one that he thinks accentuates your beauty. each afternoon, in the dim lights of his bedroom, with the setting sun serving as the sole witness, zhongli poured you tea.

"drink, my love." but you didn't answer, you only stared.

and zhongli chuckled. "that's right," he said. "you can't."

for you were now transformed, fit to live with him throughout eternity. you were his doll, so life-like that zhongli couldn't help but hold you close.

"no matter," the man started again. "we have forever on the way ahead."

my hands that are full of you, i’ll hug forever...

because i love you...

▾ ꭛ ˖ ︴END NOTE : i love dreamcatcher, i really was tempted to put all the lyrics. they deserve their first win already. i do not have wifi atm, just connecting to hotspots lmao gotta post when i can.

151 notes · View notes

spnfanficpond · 3 years

Text

Pond Diving - Imagineteamfreewill

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Meg

Age: 20s

Location: United States

URL: @imagineteamfreewill

Why did you choose your URL: I first started out structuring my stories as imagines, and the “Team Free Will” part was pretty obvious.

What inspired you to become a writer: Reading Supernatural fanfiction inspired me to get back into writing, but I’ve always enjoyed it. My mom likes to talk about how when I was in Kindergarten, I drew a picture about how I wanted to be an author and now I write in my free time.

How long have you been writing: According to tumblr, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2014, but I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I’m a music teacher, so I sing and play piano, and I’ve played a bit of cello and tenor saxophone as well. I love movies, baking, sleeping, and a few video games.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I joined sometime around Season 8 or 9, I think. I don’t really remember!

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I really enjoy Marvel and I’ve read a lot of Marvel fics, but I don’t write for them. I like a lot of TV shows (New Girl, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, Outlander, etc), but I wouldn’t consider myself part of the fandom.

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I love to write poetry. I had a poetry blog at truenorth-ink a while ago, but I haven’t updated it recently at all. Most of my poems aren’t published or posted anywhere.

Favorite published author: I love some of the early series by Rick Riordan and I also really enjoy poetry by Nikita Gill and Atticus. Lately, I've really been getting into Leigh Bardugo's books.

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: I think "East" by Edith Pattou really affected me! I read it when I was in 6th-8th grade and I think about it often. I think it's something that really stuck with me and got me interested in fantasy books so much. I read it at least once a year.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I love angsty stuff, and most of the time I prefer it when it has some fluff mixed in. Straight fluff is often hard for me to read because I need something that’s more realistic for my own life and point of view. I also really like whump, but that can be a lot sometimes so it depends on my mood.

Favorite piece of your own writing: I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I loved writing Back to the Start (my mermaid series) and The Switch (a canon-divergent apocalyptic Reader x Sam series). Right now, I'm really enjoying my Consort series (a Goddess!Reader x Dean series). Creating my own rules in my own little universes is one of my favorite things to do, especially since I can’t always do whatever I want in real life.

Most underrated fic you have written: Empire. I loved getting to write Boyking!Sam because it was so different from my normal Sam stories and I did a lot of research for it. I’m pretty proud that the story never got too bloody or gory, too, so if you want some Boyking!Sam that’s not drenched in blood (for lack of a better term), I’m your girl!

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Probably Back to the Start or The Switch. I think those two series would be amazing to see with J2, the rest of the cast/characters I included, and special effects! There’s so much I’d want to explore with both of them that I didn’t put into the series.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @luci-in-trenchcoats, @sunlightdances, @supernaturalfreewill, @lipstickandwhiskey, @smol-and-grumpy, @percywinchester27, and @kaz2y5-imagines

Favorite fic from another writer: I don’t think I could pick just one, but I’ve read all of @sunlightdances Dean fics multiple times. Her works got me through some pretty sucky times in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of her writing! I’ve also been reading her Bucky fics recently and it’s made me love Marvel fics even more than before!

Favorite character to write: Sam Winchester

Favorite Pairing to write: Reader x Sam (Reader x Dean is a close second)

Least favorite character to write (and why): I don’t like to write for Crowley or Gabriel. Gadreel is hard for me even though I can do it, but I don’t understand Crowley or Gabriel’s personalities at all because they’re literally so far away from mine.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? No, although @lipstickandwhiskey and @kaz2y5-imagines really encouraged me in my writing!

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I would love to write a non-Supernatural work of fiction to publish, but that’s a long way off.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Oh Lord, I have so many! I have at least four series and two one shots in the works right now. I've also got over 100 one shots/series plotlines written out in the notes on my phone and various Google Docs.

What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on a Cinderella series, my Underworld series, my Puer Rex series, my Consort series, an Author!Sam fic, and an Author!Dean fic. I also write stories for my Words series now and again.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Reading other people’s work. The intense storylines of @luci-in-trenchcoats ’s fics have gotten me to be more bold with my writing and the emotions and description in @supernaturalfreewill’s works have inspired me to let my work have more feeling.

Best writing advice you've been given: Not necessarily writing advice, but I was once told that anything worth doing is worth doing at least a little bit every day. Think about it—if you wrote even just five minutes a day, how much better will you get over the course of a month? A year?

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Repetition of words and commas. So many commas and so many uses of the same word over and over again. It’s a hard balance between using the word and using synonyms without sounding like I’m sitting there googling synonyms for “said”. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things that I think are super important but aren’t really important in the long run. I’m wordy as hell and my writing would be dull if I didn’t edit it as thoroughly as I do.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? A lot of times I have these ideas that I think would make a great series but I don’t think through them, so planning out the plot of a series (or even a standalone fic) beforehand is something I struggle with.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I would love to write more fics that have the characters dealing with severe mental disorders or that take place in a mental hospital, but I’m afraid that I’ll portray something wrong and solidify harmful stereotypes about what it’s like to deal with those things.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, just wanting to write things that I enjoy. Sometimes I get sick of reading other peoples’ stuff since it’s not exactly what I want, so I just write my own!

How do you deal with self doubt: Understand that sometimes it happens. You’ll doubt yourself—everybody does. If I’m doubting myself or my writing, I’ll take a break until I remember why I write. Then I’ll remember that yeah, writing for an audience is fun, but I write because I have cool ideas I want to explore, not because I need the attention or love of strangers. Lastly, I’ll reread my old fics, especially the ones I love, and then I’ll go back and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. That way I can see how I’ve improved and I don’t feel so terrible anymore! Reading my own fics is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, and I’ll read through my masterlists every once a while just to remind myself of the things I’ve loved, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.

How do you deal with writer's block: Like I said, I reread old fics and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. Seeing the things I’ve done before always helps to focus me. I’ll also read other people’s stuff or talk about headcanons with some friends to try and find some inspiration.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Lately I have been, but only because my periods of intense inspiration and productivity are getting farther and farther apart because of my job. I’ve found planning it out to be more and more helpful, especially for my series. A lot of times if I get a great idea, I’ll outline the whole plot or any significant details I want to put in that one shot/series so that I can come back to it whenever I have the time or I’m inspired for it again.

Do you have any weird writing habits: I write best in places that are unfamiliar to me or in places/times where I shouldn’t be writing. Class? Writing. Airport terminal? Writing. 4am when I have to be up at 6? Writing.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? Not that I remember! I feel like there’s probably been one or two over the years, but I probably just got upset about it with my friends for a while and then got over it.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? A long time ago, when I was writing Back to the Start, I had one person who sent me asks for every single series update. I screenshotted them and saved them on my laptop. There’s one particular one where they say that they’re happier because of my writing and honestly, isn’t that what we all strive for? That people’s lives are better because of our stories? I’ve also had some pretty great friends recently who’ve made it a point to reblog and send asks/messages on all my works, which has been so meaningful that I never replied to the asks. They’re sitting in my inbox and I go through and reread them sometimes when I’m feeling down.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Write down everything. If you come up with an amazing piece of dialogue, even if it’s just one sentence or one person talking, or if you come up with something you’d think would be a great title… WRITE IT DOWN. It doesn’t matter if it fits into whatever you’re currently writing or not, it’ll come in handy! I don’t know how many times I’ve gone through my idea list and found really obscure lines/titles/inspiration that didn’t make sense when I wrote them down, but are now exactly what I need to finish a fic. Even if you don’t end up using it, jotting down your ideas is still writing, and that’s good practice!

#pond diving #spnfanficpond

10 notes · View notes

jpat82 · 6 years

Text

Chosen

Chapter 11

You stood in the center of the library, looking around at the books that lined the shelves. Your arms crossed to fight off the emotions coursing through your head. You heard him shuffle a bit behind you, and your body went rigid as you felt soft fabric being placed over your bare arms. James sighed heavily behind you, slipping his palm into yours. You looked down at where your hands were connected, your own hand looked tiny in comparison.

"Come, sit by the fire." He said, gently walking to the large leather chair. He sat down and the pulled you lightly into his lap and you allowed yourself to mold into him, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I wish I didn't feel like I was at war with myself." You managed to say, trying to breath even. It was the truth, the whole truth of it. Saying it out loud was like ripping a bandage off and allowing a wound to breathe for the first time. It hurt, and it felt good at the same time, a soft silence fell between you as he wrapped his powerful arms around you.

James nodded his head and tenderly kissed the side of your head as you stared at the fire, watching as the flames licked upward. You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply, letting his scent wash over you, welcoming it.

"I was born to a woman who worked the streets. She was human, an amazingly strong woman despite her short comings in life." He said finally breaking the silence, slowly you sat back. His eyes trained on you as he lift his hand to brush the hair from your eyes. "She always told me growing up that she wanted better for me, that she felt like the wrongs in her life made me the way I am, like the devil cursed her to have a child that could only feed on blood."

"Your Mom was human?" You asked furrowing your brows at him.

"Yes, she was." He chuckled, nodding lightly. "She never knew which man was my father, and she never talked about the men she met. But she did everything she could to raise me to have as normal as a childhood as possible. She taught me as much as she could since I could never attend school, the sunlight used to hurt back then. It would my blister skin after I spent to much time outside. I would go outside in the evening, when there was still some light but after the sun had set, so I could play other kids. Even then though, I knew was I different."

You settled yourself further into his lap, listening to him as he spoke.

"But she tried. I grew up in a house full of women who worked the streets and each of them treated me as their own. They didn't know of course why they would find dead animals out the back door, or why they never saw me during the day. And as I child I aged much like the rest of the children on the block." He explained, trailing his fingers across your arm, his eyes scanning the fabric as he did. "It wasn't till I was seventeen years of age that my aging slowed, and coincidently that was the first time I took down a human."

He sighed heavily, his eyes met yours, soft blues taking in your features. You kept quiet, not knowing if you said anything if he would stop telling you his past. He was making you look at him as something other then what you were told. He had a mother, a childhood, people that had cared for him.

"It was one of the men that another woman brought to the brothel." He licked his bottom lip before continuing. "Growing up in one was hard in some aspects but as I said each of the women that lived there treated me with nothing but kindness often spending hours play games with me so when this man came in and started to hurt her something in me snapped. My ma tried to keep me out of it, tried pulling me away from this guy. He thought it was funny, that this tiny woman was pulling on me."

"What happened?" You asked, the corner of his lip pulled back but the was no sincerity in the movement.

"I don't remember how it happened, I just know he hit my ma, hard. And it was the first time I saw red, and I snapped." He said, his words turning ice cold as he spoke. "I slammed him into the nearest wall, the wall broke on impact, I knew cause I heard it crack. I bit down on his neck as hard as I could, and to taste human for the first time... all I had ever had up until that point was small animals my mother would bring back on her way home from the store. But that first taste, when I felt the warmth of his blood rushing into my mouth, it tasted far better then anything I had ever tasted.'

'I was kicked out that night." He sighed after a brief pause. "My ma didn't want to but they couldn't keep me there. So I was given a small bag of money and turned out in the middle of the night."

"But you were protecting them, why did they do that?" You asked, bewildered.

"Cause, they saw me for what I was.. a monster. They didn't see me as the child they helped raise." He replied, his eyes completely locked into yours. "And there wasn't anything my ma could do, either set me on my way or die in the streets next to me."

"You would of protected her though." You stated, he chuckled softly shaking his head.

"Would I? I had just had the taste for human, and she had seen me do that. She was scared, you can't tell me you wouldn't of been. Having never known what your child was, she didn't know about vampires, doll."

You thought about it, and truth was had this been a couple nights ago you would of done the same. Hell you would of tried to kill him, but now here you were sitting in his lap listening to him speak.

"Tell me more." You asked, he slid his hand up your back to play your hair that hung loose on your shoulder.

"I was on my own for well over a year, feeding on people that would stray into back alleys. Just trying to survive, I would go weeks sometimes without feeding, and the pain was intense. Then a man happened upon me, his blue eyes piercing through the fog." James continued, shifting slightly so he could face you better, allowing his left hand to drop to your knee. "His name was Stan, that's all anybody ever called him. He was an ancient, the oldest there was, he showed me the ropes and explained to me what I was. And he gave me a place to stay till I got on my feet, teaching me not just how to be a vampire but everything I would need to know in the human world. Writing, reading, math, history, everything he could. I met others like myself during that time, and for once I didn't feel so alone."

"But?" You asked, knowing there was more.

"It came to end one night, hunters stormed his home. They killed as many as they could, not with stakes, or daggers, not with any of the things your team foolishly left you with. But with long silver swords, decapitating everyone." You felt him shuttered beneath you, a glossy look in his eye, no doubt reliving the nightmare that played in his head. "I barely managed to make it out, lost my arm in the process."

"I didn't know that, I heard rumors about the one with the silver arm. He was a legend the people that took me told us kids about. They said he had made a deal with the devil to have complete immortality." You spoke softly. "He was gruesome, ripping his own limb from his body as a 'downpayment'."

"Afraid not, I already had been alive for over two hundred years by the time I lost it." He smiled. "And I've lived even longer with out it. It wasn't till I met Tony that I got a new one, and that was what, three hundred maybe a three hundred and fifty years ago. He keeps perfecting it every century."

"How old are you?" You asked him, again he smiled, as he traced patterns over your thigh.

"I was born in the year 1018." He grinned, leaning forward but stopping just before his lips met yours. His eyes that were focused on your lips raised, meeting yours. He was one thousand years old and looked no older then his thirties.

"You said I was the first in a long time that could smell your lure and that all of your.. the ancients had it." You said with questioning eyes.

"All of us pures gave off a scent, it was unique to each of us but we could always tell who was and who wasn't. And yes, I have only met one other human who could smell it, and at the time I didn't know humans could." He replied taking a deep breath. "It was a very long time ago, it was while I was still learning from Stan. I drained her, I hadn't meant to but, I did."

"You sound like you regret it." You stated looking down at your hands.

"I have many regrets in my life, she was just one of them." He replied hooking his finger under your chin. Slowly he raised you face so that your eyes met his. "And what I did last night is one of them."

Permanent tag-

@kitkatkl @octobermermaid @ajosieface @instantnoodlese @crystlblu @coffeebooksandfandom @thisismysecrethappyplace @the-wayward-robot @lokilvrr @shynara51 @fourtyninekirbygamzeegirl @savedbyimagination @bubblycypres87

Chosen tag-

@bvckys-doll @tarithenurse @lilypalmer1987 @zombiebunny97 @abschaffer2 @evilzinblr @champagnejoker @affabletimelady @fantastictravelfunnycroissant @marvelmojito @inmiasmind @myboyfriendgirliboy @misplacedorphan @chibiyanai @jessieray98 @momma-loves-her-some-capnbucky @palepaperfan @chook007 @lokigreyvatore @joebob24 @xdreamseb @midnightmondaze @reganmarler @laucontrerasv @silverhart93 @demonlover87 @callmedaddys-blog @thegothicdancer @shirukitsune

Bucky Tag-

@ria132love

If I missed you just let me know or if wanted to be added as a tag!

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes au #vampire!bucky #vampires #hunter #chosen

171 notes · View notes

10-years-chaos-blog · 6 years

Text

I'm starting off this character development snippet by stating that I know Silver is not an OC of mine but here on my blog I've changed up Silver to be one of my main characters and the only character from the original cast to play an active role in this story. And even though he is not a character I made up, I'll include him in the "OC" section of the blog because of how different he is from Canon Silver.

Silver is not from 200 years into the future, but from this present time. He's never really had a normal life though, suffering from nightmares and day dreams and hallucinations of different timelines of the past, present, and future, but was written off as a childs imagination by his parents and peers, until he accurately "predicted" his own parents car crash. They survived, but were extremely shaken by this.

Things got hectic when Silver would ask for reassurance about one of his visions in great detail, if they were true or not, as he could never tell which ones were "real." Questions about his parents seeing other people, having siblings he's never met, about his parents fighting and getting a divorce. To his knowledge, only one actually happened in the near future.

Now only living with his mother, and feeling as though he's the reason they fought and divorced, he kept quiet with his visions.

Things only got worse before they got better.

He was no longer welcome into any schools as his trouble in concentration would throw off his grades, and whenever he did any good in his classes he would be accused of cheating due to his "future visions."

He only had one friend which he made due to them also only having a single mother taking care of them. He would only spend a bit of time with them every now and then and they didn't really become good friends until they both discovered their shared desire to be a hero one day. His friend gave Silver the confidence to sit down and work though his power, and help keep him grounded while he learnt to control it. They both lost their minds in excitement over discovering Silver's telekinesis.

When Silver finally figured out how to fly, in the safety of his own room above his bed in case he falls, he excitedly raced over to his friends home to tell them about it.

He was only two blocks away from them when the rift tore through the world. The explosion left the ringing in his ears for hours. He didn't know what happened, or what caused it, but all he knew was his friends home was in ruins, along with every other home on that block, had he been any closer he would have been hurt, or worse.

In his panic, his mind was telling him his friend was alive, but also dead. They live a long and happy life, but they are also dead right ahead of him, but also they grow up to be the hero they always wanted to be, but also they trip on their wedding day, but also they were never born.

Too many different timeline were running through his head to focus, but he had to focus. Are. They. Alive.

Are they alive right here. Right now. At this very moment.

He grabbed a hold of his quills and pulled them back out of frustration, and the slight tension on his head helped him pinpoint to the specific person he was looking for. And although it wasn't a definite answer, his vision showed him the rubble shifting, and exactly what it looked like.

Going to that exact location he saw in his vision he was exactly on time to see the rubble shift. Lifting the rubble with his power, he carried his friend to safety, and to help.

10 years after the chaos rift, he and his best friend are now the new heros of Mobius, along side many more people they've met along the way.

He is Silver the Hedgehog.

#10 years chaos #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic oc?#silver #silver the hedgehog

14 notes · View notes

fatui-harbingers · 6 years

Text

So, I got this message about my Dany x Drogo is problematic for many reasons post.

I feel like this is very problematic because I've read a lot of bits and pieces from the books regarding her "relationship" and I still believe that it was Stockholm Syndrome. It literally makes you believe you care for your abuser as a way to protect you from pain because that's how your brain works. And, he IS a rapist! A 30 year old dude is not allowed to have sex with a 13 year old (no matter what the 13 year old said) by law in most places so I'm not sure what everyone's argument is here. She was SOLD to him for crying out loud!

Now, I will be blogging about it as I read the books and give my personal take on everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! I'll praise what I love and call out what's problematic because as a feminist, that's what I do. I know things are slightly different in the show and in the books, even major differences is some areas but a 30 year old dude buying a 13 year old girl will never be okay no matter how nice and/or soft he was.

And, I blocked the name because I'm not one to start drama in that manner and I won't be telling anyone who it is. I'm hoping I get the books for my 18th birthday in January but that'll probably take a bit of negotiating with the fam!

Though, I'm not sure if this message was meant to be rude or not, I'm pretty sure I'll still understand that Drogo was a rapist no matter his treatment of her towards the end of his life. Had he admitted what he did, apologized and promised to be better then I would like him more but he didn't so he disgusts me like all rapists that don't own up to what they did.

I'm a very empathic person when it comes to all forms of entertainment (books, music, theatre, TV and film. Sometimes in real life too, just depends) and I can usually feel the emotions as they were written, even if I don't know how the author intended them to feel. I'll know what's going on when I read the books because I also analyze everything (even unintentionally) and typically know what's up before I even form a personal opinion. That's just how I work. I don't typically make judgements right off the bat without all the information because that does no one any good.

Plus, I do a lot (and I mean A LOT) of reading on the brain and it's functions just for fun (and of course knowledge) so even while I don't have a degree to say I'm Smart And Know What I'm Talking About, I'm kinda smart and am pretty confident I know what I'm talking about. It's basic psychology! Of course she would appear to love him when her mind has told her she does! How else would her brain protect her and her sanity? It's a survial kind of thing. Unlike when you're an abused kid and you tell yourself "it's okay. I can get away from here when I'm 18 and I'll never have to see these people again!", her brain already knew there wasn't any way of escaping so, it convinced her she loved her new abuser so she would survive the trauma of his abuse.

As my dad would say, this ain't rocket science people! It really isn't. Basic psychology isn't very hard to understand either. Like, yo, I'm 17 and I seem to be able to grasp this better than a lot of adults (both adults I know and in this fandom). My whole family could even tell you I'm a very knowledgeable person. I'm the only one that keeps up with world politics (or just politics in general) and the only one that pays attention to all the facts, whether I like them or not. I'm even too serious to have any real fun with because of my obsession with learning!

Anyways, I don't ship people with their abusers. I don't ship Daenerys with Drogo just like I don't ship Sansa with Ramsay. I wouldn't be a feminist if I did! You're not progressive in the slightest if you do! Shipping people with their abuser sounds just like dudes telling girls they should marry their rapist (which still happens all over the world, btw!). Forced marriage is wrong as it is so that makes child marriage even worse.

I personally don't think people should be with anyone anymore than 5 years older than them because of how older people try to manipulate younger people. I've seen it in my family and it's just like parents talking down to their child (which I also disagree with but that's a rant post for another time).

The responses to my post regarding the Dany x Drogo stuff were awesome and I was so happy to see all the points everyone made that I didn't even think of! And it was especially good to see the book readers add on to the post as well. I'm very grateful for that considering I don't have the books yet! This has been my only negative response to the post so far and hopefully it'll stay that way because I don't know how much ignorance I can handle before snapping completely.

Oh, and I don't appreciate being told what I will or won't understand! You don't know me, you don't know how my brain works and you don't know how I will interpret something when I read it. Just because you believe something doesn't make it true and/or mean others will think as you do. That's not a very good way to be. You don't know how everyone's brain will take something. And I'm pretty sure I got a private message solely because this person knew they'd get dragged if they commented publicly on my post. Not cool! I'm one of those, if you can't say it proudly in public/to my face the maybe you should rethink your beliefs/views/opinions because they're probably very problematic if you can't.

Now, I'm pretty sure this message was sent for rude shipper reasons but I'm not gonna respond and I still won't if I get a message because of this post. I've had just about enough of all the ignorance coming my way in both fandom and my personal life. There was absolutely no reason to send this message to me when I've made my opinions known. I'm very upfront about who I am and what I stand for, my bio literally tells you all you need to really know about me (so do my posts!). You aren't changing my mind, just as I obviously won't be changing yours.

If you really read my posts and still come back with something like this, you apparently have no reading comprehension skills. I and all the Daenerys stans all laid it out pretty clearly with my post and all the additions as to why Drogo x Dany is problematic. It's super annoying when people read a post like that and come back with "but she consented!" She was 13 and he was in his 30s (and ya know, SOLD TO HIM) you rape apologist. "But she loved him!" I seriously added a screenshot of the definition of Stockholm Syndrome and you still think that? Oh dear Goddess Diana help me, the ignorance behind these responses are driving me mad!

I just need everyone to know, when it comes to ignorant responses, I'm like Taylor Swift. You say something stupid/ignorant imma write a whole post about you. I'm not the kinda gal that sits back and takes shit and pure ignorance without saying something. Keep that in mind! I am a feminist and I critique literally everything so, unless you want a feminist rant on your problematic views, you best stay out of my comments and dms. I stand for equality, human rights and diversity so it's pretty obvious I'm not gonna ship a girl with her rapist.

Again, as I said in my post, WE DON'T SHIP ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS HOUSE!!!

#game of thrones #daenerys targaryen #anti drogo #anti dany x drogo #feminism #messages

43 notes · View notes

leaveharmony · 6 years

Note

It's sad how you've allowed these white men take over real estate in your heard mortgage free. You used to be really cool before you allowed your bitterness to take over. I've unfollowed you and am probably going to block you because while i respect that you don't have to like any one you constantly shitting on people just because you dislike it is sad and seeing as my life is hard enough I don't need your negativity in my life.

Um...Ok? And you should? If my TIDAL WAVE OF NEGATIVITY AND BITTERNESS during the maybe 7 seconds per week I'm forcibly reminded that whoever it is you're talking about exists outweighs whatever it was that caused you to bestow the honour of "really cool" on me in the first place then godspeed, nonners. Go seek your bliss.I'm not...sure why you feel the need to tell me this tbh, as the tragedy of being Deemed Uncool by an anonymous stranger who's never interacted with me in any way is a comparatively minor one, but if the acknowledgement makes you feel better about it than I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.Farewell, follower number...uh...follower who had a number probably, idk I don't know how many I have.

------

All clowning aside though, I genuinely don't understand why someone would send a message like that. And I had no idea how to respond to it...or if I should. If they're looking for attention, isn't that just giving them what they want? But then...if I ignored it, would that make them send more? Can you block an anon? I have no idea. For the terrible crime of vocally disliking certain popular wrestlers in her own space, I've literally seen people spend over a month relentlessly harassing a friend of mine in the most vile and vicious manner, while the person that triggered it all egged them on and laughed about it.

So...I never know what to do. Probably it wouldn't lead to anything that bad, but how do I know? If they've been around since I was “really cool” (I'm sorry, that's still funny. I've never been cool in my life) then they'd know I'm seeing a therapist. They'd know I have pretty crippling social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, severe depression. Were they trying to set it off?They did, actually - messages like that always spike my anxiety badly when I see them. Heartrate went right up, stomach sank. It isn't the content so much as the intent, you know? Random message out of nowhere RE hey I think you're awful: what's the point of that? Why take the time?Is that what they were trying to do? Somehow...get me to correct my fiendish refusal to *looks at smeared writing on hand* um, tailor my space to their exact specifications? Did they unfollow me a few days ago and get frustrated when I didn't mention it (or indeed, notice)? Were they looking for attention? Validation? Just acknowledgement? I don't keep any track of how many followers I get tbh, except to check that new ones aren't porn bots. How many people are here or why doesn't affect my life in any way.

It's...I don't wanna use the word triggering, necessarily. But like. As I say...if they've been here however long, they know I have anxiety. They know I live in an active abuse situation. They know I get extremely defensive over my space bc I've got a history of people coming into my spaces both real and virtual and taking things. My father's sold or given away or thrown out or destroyed my things on more than one occasion, once or twice while I literally sobbed and begged him not to. That time it was a doll cradle. I was maybe 6. He sold it to a lady for five dollars while I cried in the driveway.When I got home from a school trip to New York one day, I came into my room to find he'd been in here and rearranged all my furniture even up to moving the bed from where I had it...and of course, he got furiously angry when I burst into tears. I couldn't move the bed back, it was too heavy for me and I wasn't strong enough...and he wouldn't do it, so I just sat there sobbing hysterically until he finally came raging back in, shouting abuse and calling me everything under the sun, and moved it back.Imagine coming home exhilarated from a great experience to find out people you were meant to trust had come into your space without your consent or knowledge and reorganized everything in it, then had an explosion of temper because you weren't “grateful” they'd done it. There's a reason I have a hoarding problem I'm just now trying to address, after decades of being terrified to let anything out of my sight lest it be gone when I go to look for it. There's a reason I'm protective of my space.

This blog is my space. I don't know what nonners thought I started it for, but it sure as fuck wasn't for anyone else's pleasure or interest; hell, some nights when I'm really plugging away I can churn out like 60 gif posts in a single sitting, and most of them end up with less than ten notes. It's not for the attention. Half of why I have alternate tags for wrestlers is so I'm not constantly clogging their tags w/ my nonsense - and I don't tag my hate at all, on the rare occasion I bother with criticisms. You're looking at the repository of the hyperfixation I use to keep myself alive. If other people enjoy it, that's super! But at its heart, it isn't for other people.

They wanna know about the white man who has real estate in my head? It's my abusive piece of shit father, who has all but beaten the ability to express negative emotion at all out of me over a period of decades.

Compared to him, some coward I don’t know from adam hiding on anon trying to chide me for occasional snarky comments about their faves looks like a pair of nail clippers next to a goddamn threshing machine.

2 notes · View notes

mental-health-advice · 6 years

Note

(1) Hello, I've recently come to a realization that a certain 'friend' in my life has been draining me mentally and brings me no pure joy and comfort. I've been thinking of her actions towards me for the past two years and I do realize that she has used me to her own satisfaction discreetly, I feel used. As if I were a henchmen to her, she always tells me about her day and her life problems; I am expected to be there and fall at her feet and hear her out and give her advice. (continued)

(2)But, if I even tell her something personal she brushes it off and continues to make it all self centered around her. Not only that but she once had another friend, lets call them apple, who hurt me badly mentally and I cried a lot due to said person. She told me she had broken off that friendship with apple, and recently i've been trying to distance myself from this "friend". I just found out through social media that this "friend" is now hanging out with apple. (continued)

(3) I feel even more used. The second I take my full attention away from this "friend", she runs back to apple. She even told me many time how she never liked apple but yet, now they are best buddies once more. I guess what i'm getting at is advice as to how I cut this friend from my life. I'm tired of putting this person before myself and being mentally exhausted, but I cant seem to get away. We have school classes together and she sits where I sit every school morning. I really need help..

Hi friend,

Thank you for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I’m really sorry to hear that this has been happening, you definitely deserve to be surrounded by people that treat you much better than this! I’m so glad that you are taking action to put yourself first as that is always the most important thing! I hope I’ll be able to give you some advice as I do understand how hard it can be to walk away from someone who was so important in your life, so lets try to consider your options in dealing with this.

Your first option is to sit down with them and discuss how you are feeling and the things you want to change. If saying it out loud is too hard, you could maybe try writing it all down in a letter and sitting with them whilst they read it? I realise you may have tried to talk to them about this before, but if you make it clear that this is serious and you need them to listen to you, hopefully they will pay more attention. If they are unwilling to listen to you and make an effort to change their behaviour then although it may be hard, I think cutting ties with them, both in person and online would be a good step forward here - they have no right to have such a hold over you, and breaking this hold will hopefully allow you to move onward and upwards! If this is something you choose to do then try and remove ways that you could contact them or even check on them, so block on social media and maybe delete their number if you haven’t already; if you don’t take the time away from them and things you associate with them, like social media, then it will be much harder for you to push aside the thoughts of them.

I’m just wondering if trying to meet new people is something that you could be interested in? Something I would suggest is to look online, like on Tumblr, for a community of people which share a passion with you – for example, I have made a lot of lovely friends through mental health and recovery blogs on Tumblr. I am positive that you would be able to find at least one person with whom you share a common interest, no matter how niche that may be, and then you can chat with them about that? I also like to suggest considering joining any local groups or volunteer programmes that may be located near you – these are great as they mean you get out of the house and socialise with other people, whilst having a goal to work towards! Try not to let your negative experiences with friends in the past affect how you approach the possibility of new friendships – if you go in with an open mind and open heart, you are most likely going to be greeted in the same manner. Joining clubs or societies would also be a great way for you to make new friends that you can spend time with and give you somewhere to go away from your ‘friend’.

I also think it might be good for you, if you feel able, to discuss this with a close friend or family member. Sometimes the people who are toxic in our lives can make us feel like it is us that is doing something wrong, so having the support and comfort of someone is really important. If you don’t feel comfortable telling them everything that they have done to you, then that is completely okay! Just having a shoulder to cry on, or someone to spend time with so you’re not alone is key.

Please remember that if you feel like this is having a negative impact on your mental health, then it is totally okay for you to go and seek some professional guidance - that could be your doctor or a school counsellor. They will not only be able to help you understand your feelings and why you are having them, but also give you some more coping mechanisms for dealing with them. Here is our page about getting help just in case it is something you are considering.

I really hope that this has been of some use to you, lovely. Again, I am so sorry that your friend has not treated you well but I promise that there are people who care about you and want what’s best for you; us here at MHA for one!. Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch if there is anything else that we can do to help you!

Take care,

Rhiann xo

#anonymous #mha #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #mental health blog #mharhiann #friendships #toxic friendships #talking to someone #moving on #cutting ties #making friends #getting help #relationships

5 notes · View notes

merrysithmas · 7 years

Note

ever since i changed my avatar to sheith i got blocked by some of the voltron blogs i visited. but i'm like YOUR LOSS, sheith is endgame muhahhahha i've got no ragrets xD

they are the Truth, the Light, and the Way

like???? listen:

keith?? gay space spy. space stealth hybrid hero. conduit between worlds. child of the universe. you fight lika g a l r a soldier. part of a legacy of warriors going back thousands of years to intercept fascist zarkon. desert warplanet gal, with wine that tastes so sour you could gag, rain watching parties, and salt stone buildings, rare salt to replenish the electrolytes lost in the beating sun. a symbol of nobility and denied to the underclass and rebels. he noshes on french fries, raised on everything theyd crucify him for. space prince hidden away in the blue blankets of earth. he growls with teeth a little too sharp, glares with eyes a little too clear. people a little too wary of the boy with scraped knuckles and sharp nails and unkempt hair. dried blood and furrowed brows.

to him, love comes to death. it always has. his mother, his father. on gal a symbol of devotion is to allow your lover to place the point of their blade at your heart. it is the ceremony of marriage and a gesture of trust. when he meets shiro again, too many eons of waiting, he presses his metallic hand to his ribs, on instinct. he knows nothing of the custom. but he clutches it close. to love is to embrace death. because to love is to devote one’s life.

shiro???? gay space age of exploration scientist. intrepid explorer. here for the expansion of knowledge and jubilant expanse of the galaxy. heart of wonder. disowned from his rich family for his passion. joined garrison against their wishes and went on to become paragon officer. garrison media prop and ptsd-laden hero, takes no shits anymore. space and justice motherfuckers, but s o f t l y. who are you, guardian spirit of the sky. mind of the black lion, soul of a champion. murderer, rebel, officer, friend. that is what his father said: it is f o r b i d d e n, takashi. forbidden is a world that has made a home inside of him. forbidden dreams, forbidden knowledge, forbidden space, forbidden love. this is something he told himself, brows smoothing over, gravity lifting his burdens, allowing childlike moments of happiness in the dusky lavender sands of kerberos. he would trace the name of the one he loved there, because the history books would never mention the sharp teeth and the furious temper.

the words of his father ring in his ears like distant bells, dying at the edge of hearing: it is f o r b b i d e n, takashi. this foolish dream of yours. this passion of yours will kill you, and who then will be left? this singular selfishness. this obsessive independence. leave and you are dead to me. where has my son gone? you are dead to me even now.

those are the words he remembers now that he has been prisoner of war. now that he has died a hundred deaths. now the words lack color, lack consequence. what is one more death in a universe of deaths? fear like this can be conquered. this is how a warrior is born, gently, in the mind, like a river eating away stone. and rapidly, with bare hands in an arena. this is how a balance is formed, a wisdom. a leader.

see because that was keith – keith taught him how to strangle a throat, to make your opponent into your weapon. it was keith meeting his eyes in fury, heat radiating off his body in rage, fighting with knees and knuckles and fluidity and veins pulsing in his neck as shiro is suddenly pinned, losing his breath. there are no apologies there, in keith’s deeply crunched brows and bared teeth. no shame for selfishness and independence. all of the sudden, he is a star in the black sky. and shiro finally opens his eyes. sees his light. it stuns him, to recognize this forbidden thing so freely inhabiting another.

the thief, keith, gives it so much in fighting you think hed be hot to the touch. but he is cold, and when shiro stares up at him from his back, flipped to the ground, without ever having met him before, he says out loud: you’re beautiful.

keith’s gaze had shattered at the edges following the words, arm pressed into shiro’s throat, knee in his forearm. confusion flickering there. shiro, with several years at the garrison already, could have methodically removed him in theory. but in actuality, the feral boy, living on the outskirts of the desert, had transfixed him. your form, he says but doesn’t correct, it’s beautiful. are you trained? who trained you? he isn’t at the garrison, shiro would have known, he has heard belittling talk about some of the locals… vagrant thieves, dirty and untrustworthy.

shut up, keith growls, mind barrelling through this flattery as nothing more than a tactic. i am leaving here with everything and you’re not going to tell anyone. or i’ll— (he even stammers to say it, staring into shiro’s eyes, cadet uniform, garrison boy, prepackaged hero, but with strange kind eyes…) — i’ll k i l l you.

he’s gone as soon as he was there, and shiro sits up on his elbows, dusty. he can hear the sound of a motorbike and then it is gone. his heart is beating fast, but not from fear. the universe leaves him there for a long moment.

keith is swallowing a lump in his throat, but it isn’t from worry. he has a week’s worth of stolen food zipped into his jacket, wind searing by his temples like a whip. when he hears the rattling knock on the shack door three days later, he already knows who it is. and for once in his life he is afraid. peeking out of the space between the wooden boards he sees shiro, framed by the sky. the universe leaves him there for a long moment too, letting him decide whether to answer.

sheith????? gay space romance odyssey.

antis who?????????

3 notes · View notes