#IF ANYONE would like to take up a counter-argument i am fully sat

[gogandmagog]

✨Anne Blythe’s (Anne Shirley-Blythe’s namesake granddaughter) father is not Jem. It’s Shirley. It’s totally Shirley, you guys. It’s gotta be.✨

And like, Ieading right off by saying of course there’s no definitive answer to be had here, since Maud obviously isn’t available to confirm or refute any hypothesises, but I do big persist in suggesting that a very rational case can be presented for Shirley... one that at least outweighs what I now see as the generally baseless widely accepted assumption that Anne is Jem’s daughter. Keep in mind, I’m in no way trying to dog on this. The assumption is ready and easy to make, and I’d accepted fully this theory too, until about a week agooo.

ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I was poring over various Wikipedia entries for the Anne book series, and inevitably also ended up looking through the edit history of those pages. While sorting through the edit history (super extensive and interesting, by the way), the username ‘blefebvre’ popped into the archive, contributing a ton of information to the Anne pages overall, around 2008 and 2009 particularly. And literally, who else could this user be besides THE Benjamin Lefebvre? Brilliant Maud scholar and essayist, inexhaustible editor and publisher of ‘the Blythes are Quoted’? Welllll, one of these edits, a written family tree of Anne and Gilbert’s grandchildren, mentioned Anne Blythe... and pointedly noted that she was either the daughter of Jem or Shirley.

Reading that? Already a huge jump-scare surprise to me. This immediately challenged what I thought I knew about the third generation of Blythes. I sat straight up in bed, brain doing a nosedive, like wait wait wait wait wait… hold on, what? We don’t know for sure? We don’t know for sure? 

Guys. We don’t know for sure. 

Whichhhhh sent me on an immediate hunt to gather up what we do know for sure. The facts we do have. And it wasn’t a huge task, either… there’s really not a lot to collect.

But here it is:

In ‘the Blythes are Quoted’, Anne Blythe is mentioned in only one story, titled “The Road to Yesterday” (not to be confused with the TBAQ abridged predecessor book of the same title 😅).

All we really have of her is her name, and a couple of superficial second-hand anecdotes from a guy named Jerry (who is impersonating a fellow named Dick, but more on this a little later).

Her paternity is unconfirmed, but because her surname is Blythe (not Ford or Meredith), we can logically eliminate the possibility of her belonging to Nan, Di, or Rilla. Walter was, of course, lost in France. This leaves Jem and Shirley. 

Tiny details about Anne.

As a matter of housekeeping, let me try to get the jump on any potential counter-arguments, and clear the air.

The only reason I’ve seen Jem credited with Anne is because…

1. Jem was married.

That’s the entire basis.

And I’ll grant you that. This is more than we got for Shirley. But let’s remember that at the end of ‘Rilla of Ingleside’, we only had a canon engagement between Jem and Faith... it takes getting around to ‘the Blythes are Quoted’ to absolutely conclude that their marriage went through. With the added extra bonus of finding out that they have children.

But even allowing that, ‘the Blythes are Quoted’ as an epilogue isn’t all inclusive. It isn’t a complete picture. It’s half a picture at the very best. Maud, pressured greatly, basically dumped all her disorganised, non-chronological and unedited Anne relevant WIPS + short stories + poems on her publisher's desk two days before she died. This is not a book that Maud put together, as a tailpiece collection. It was an assortment of partial works and in-character conversations that she’d tinkered with over decades. Works she never intended to see being published. They were vague ideas she was forming, little seeds. (It took a lot of effort from Benjamin Lefebvre to put TBAQ together in a readable way that made sense.)

Maud was over Anne. Over Anne by twenty years, at this point. So much so that noticeable character details and world building started slipping in Ingleside and Rilla… for obvious instance, in the lack of continuity around Shirley’s birth year, and the way readers saw almost no closure/representation for Shirley and Di, with varying degrees of near erasure in the original books. 

But this doesn’t mean that Maud didn’t have plans for these two characters... their incomplete or unsatisfying stories certainly weren’t nefariously intended to be that way (there’s no secret meaning to the exclusion); Montgomery was just depleted and had been feeling ruinously dispassionate about the Blythes stories since ‘Anne of the Island’.  

In ‘Reading Rilla’ we see in Maud’s many pages of left-out notes, that an ultimately scrapped journal entry from Rilla indicates that Diana Blythe wrote to their mother of her engagement to a foreign overseas officer. It’s unclear if this officer is the same ‘Austin boy’ that an older Glen woman in ‘the Blythes are Quoted’ privately wonders about (if Di 'really is engaged to him or not'), but this contradictory bit is probably just erroneous gossip from an unreliable narrator.  

Anyway. All of this to say... that just because we don’t have a canon marriage for Shirley, it doesn’t disqualify him from having had a wife and kids in Maud’s post-war Four Winds. TBAQ stories were, to reiterate, half-pictures. Pictures that did/could drop a plot bomb in a single sentence. Looping back to Di, canonly we don’t have a marriage for her either... and yet, we do have two engagements that half-register. One engagement was definitive, reported by Di herself. The other a passing curiosity from someone not close enough to the Blythe family to know.

So... clearly, Maud had active intention, a plan, for Di and her own little happy epilogue. The same can be believed for Shirley. (I’m dying for the day the ‘Rainbow Valley’ and ‘Ingleside’ manuscripts get published, I’m convinced there’s more Shirley be found in the notes.)   Now, let’s dig in to Anne Blythe herself.  

‘The Road to Yesterday’ is a short story about a woman named Susette (a spinster at 28), who is on the brink of an engagement to a wealthy man named Harvey Brooks. She expects the next day to be proposed to. On a whim and feeling nostalgic, she drives to Glen St. Mary, where she lived in her girlhood, for the evening. While there, she runs into a fellow, whom she believes to be Dick, her childhood bully who she hated profoundly. Except now, they’re grown and capable acting chummy over their shared memories. The weather takes a bad turn, and they take shelter and a meal together. Susette spends most of the time, all their ‘do you remembers’, being irritated by Dick’s constant name-dropping of the Blythes. He claims to have been kind of secret friends with Anne Blythe, which is contrary to Susette’s memory that Anne hated Dick. (In the end, it turns out that Susette was right… this isn’t Dick she’s talking to. It’s Jerry Thornton, Dick’s cousin.)

For the official record every Blythe mentioned in ‘the Road to Yesterday’ is as follows: Doctor Blythe, Mrs. Doctor Blythe, Rilla Ford, Jem Blythe [Jr.], Di Meredith [Jerry and Nan’s], and Anne Blythe.

It’s mostly a bunch of school yard talk, but the big takeaway for this purpose is that the Blythe/Meredith cousins all hung out together as school children.

Here’s some direct examples:

*****

*****

*****

The cheap boiled-down version of this exchange, for those who haven’t ‘the Road to Yesterday’ is basically: Susette is having strange feelings during this interaction with ‘Dick’, she’s attracted to him, declaring to herself that she won’t fall in love with him, and is clearly irritated with the near constant Anne Blythe (especially)/Blythe references. Though she herself was very fond of Jem Blythe Jr. herself, during their childhood, ‘Dick’ mentioning Anne Blythe so fondly is increasingly Not Cute to Susette. Meanwhile, ‘Dick’ is enjoying this kind of teasing, and is lowkey successful at getting a rise out of Susette, not matter how determined she is to look unaffected.  

But here’s the kicker... when ‘Dick’ finally leaves off mentioning Anne Blythe, guess what topic he moves on to? 🥁

The Royal Canadian Air Force.

And just who do we all know that was in the Royal Canadian Air Force?  

Shirley.

Only Shirley.  

First, it tracks that ‘Dick,’ soon enlisting (we’re on the brink of WWII timeline-wise), and thinking himself funny, would choose to move on from Anne Blythe to instead a subtler rib… what he, as a once good pal of Anne’s, would know was Anne’s dad’s war faction. It’s also in the realm of possibilities that thinking on Anne so much drew up this correlation. I also ALSO think it’s worth mentioning that the only other time that the Canadian Air Force is mentioned in TBAQ is a very passing drop for Rilla, thinking of her son Gilbert Ford enlisting with the CAF. That’s it. Just those two times.

Additionally important to note is the overall subtext tone in TBAQ, which is Maud’s very greatest collection of double-vision, double-speak and intertextual reference works. There’s a beautiful scholarly essay on this, in relation to TBAQ particularly HERE.

This doesn’t only apply to cultural references in TBAQ. It also adds layers to Maud’s own existing Anne series. It really could be considered a companion piece, with X-Ray vision, e.g. how we got a ton of ‘missing’ insight into Anne and her children’s lives and minds, during the Rainbow Valley era, in Part 1 of TBAQ.

Part 2 of TBAQ (where we find ‘the Road to Yesterday’) asks us to apply what we already know to the new text we’re given.

So, understanding this … if we’re going off what we already know from ‘Rilla of Ingleside’…

What’s the reason we have the Canadian Air Force mentioned in the same story that we learn of the existence of Anne Blythe? The connection?

It’s Shirley. 🥹

A weaker argument that I’ll only mention in mild passing, because it is very weak in terms of convincing evidence, is that the text unambiguously tells is that Anne Blythe has taught ‘Dick’ from Susan’s famous recipes. Susan is another Shirley tie. It’s there to be stated. BUT. I do admit that I think Susan would’ve taught every willing Blythe grandchild with the same zeal, maybe some partiality given to the Little Brown Boy’s kid(s).

BUT, for me?

I’m properly convinced here.

Shirley was a dad, ya’ll.

[rhaenyratargeryn]

Title: sense

Pairing: Adam x F!detective

Summary: just a little scenario I imagine absolutely happened at some point.

Notes: ao3 link

***

“Oh, thank god— Nate, please be the voice of reason here.”

The detective’s tone was one of intense exasperation, her hand rubbing across her eyes as she stood in the Warehouse kitchen opposite of Adam, who was appearing equally perturbed. A deep line had settled between his brows and he had crossed his arms at her words.

Nate suddenly regretted having not gone the other direction.

“Yes, please. As sense has seemed to have completely evaporated.” Adam countered, his eyes trailing over to Nate expectantly.

At a loss, Nate smiled faintly, “... what am I voicing upon?”

“She is putting herself in a position of unnecessary—”

“Adam doesn’t want me sleeping with my windows open!”

The detective erupts over Adam’s voice, earning a cool glare from the other man. Upon moving his gaze to meet Nate’s utterly bewildered one, his pale skin seemed to flush just a fraction. Realization of just how preposterous the detective’s explanation made him seem flitted across Adam’s eyes for the barest moment before he shoved it down deep.

“It is an issue of safety. Anyone could enter through that flimsy screen.”

“I’m on the second floor!”

“As if such a thing would be an issue for a supernatural.” Adam said, rising up taller, as if he’d won with that statement, “You would be safer staying here if you wished to sleep in such a way.”

“If supernaturals are coming to break into my apartment I don’t think glass or locks would be an issue either!” the detective said, throwing a hand up and out to the side in a gesture of utter annoyance.

Adam had no retort for that.

Nate wondered idly if they would notice if he slipped back out. He got his answer when Adam turned to him, eyes as near to pleading as the older vampire could get.

“She has a point,” Nate said slowly, gauging the way Adam’s expression shuttered.

“Fine.” Adam said with bite, “But do not expect us to come running when you place yourself purposefully in harm's way.”

He turned and exited the kitchen, the detective’s words following behind.

“It’s just a window! For goodness sake!”

Once it was obvious Adam had no intention of returning to the conversation, she sat down with a soft thump into one of the kitchen chairs, attempting to return to her coffee and breakfast with minor success.

“How on earth did this start?” Nate asked after a moment, moving to take a seat across from her with a rueful smile.

“I just mentioned how I was happy the weather was cooling down in the evenings… the air is nice and I sleep so much better at home when it gets all cozy like this.” the detective sighed, “And Adam well— was Adam about it.”

“He just cares.” Nate offered, an insufficient excuse for certain, “This is how he shows it.”

The detective looked doubtful, but did not question the honesty of Nate’s words.

--

There was no way she would stay at the warehouse tonight after that display. The detective returned to her own apartment, throwing open both her bedroom and living room windows the moment she arrived and enjoying the chilly air that had settled in the twilight hours.

She brewed a mug of tea and settled into her plush papasan chair, tucked a few pattern pillows out of the way and opened a book. It took awhile for her to turn her thoughts away from her own act of stubbornness, which had in turn put her back into the argument from that morning.

Theoretical arguments with Adam were a constant daydream, right next to the ones where he didn’t flinch when she reached out to touch his face.

It didn’t help that the novel was littered with romantic subtropes and finally, with a sigh, she closed it after darkness finally settled across the room. The detective closed the living room window a fraction, as was her usual routine and shut off the lights, heading to the bedroom.

That window she left wide open, changing into her pajamas even in full view. No one was typically out on that section of the street this late and she was high up enough not to worry about anyone getting too much of an eyeful. Even so, she changed quickly, keeping her bare back to the glass as she tugged on a large t-shirt.

After, she shut off the lights and curled into bed, sighing contentedly at the way the ceiling fan spread out the chilled, night scent of fresh clean air. It was nice after having to spend so much time keeping the heat out to huddle beneath the blankets and slowly drift off.

The detective had just fallen into a soft dream when her phone chimed. Groaning, she turned her face into her pillow.

The phone chimed again. And again. And then finally began to ring.

Throwing her blankets off, she fumbled for the device in the dark and answered.

“...speaking.” she mumbled, barely annunciating her title and name. On the other end, the familiar voice of a patrol officer greeted her.

“Hey, sorry to bug you so late. You got a sec?”

“Sure, sure.” she yawned.

“We keep getting calls from folks in your apartment block. They say there is some weirdo hanging around. Big hulking type. Got folks worried about break ins. Have you seen anything? I’m halfway across town so I figured I’d save the trip if it was nothing.”

The detective took a deep measured breath, held and let it out.

“It’s okay. I got this.”

“You sure?”

“Oh yeah. No problem.”

The officer thanked her profusely, apologized again for waking her and then once they hung up, the detective selected a number from her contacts and plopped back against her pillows.

The answer was quick.

“Commanding Agent Du Mortain.” came the clear, professional answer. Too clear. Too professional.

“Where are you?”

There was a beat of silence.

“I am patrolling.”

“Good, maybe you can help me then.”

“Is something wrong?” his voice lifted, the mask of disinterest fading.

“I got a call from an officer. Says a hulking, unscrupulous and unsavory character is loitering around my apartment parking lot.”

Silence.

“Have you seen anyone like that?” the detective continued, unable to hide the smile in her voice.

“Did you tell them it was handled?” came Adam’s terse, unamused response. The detective thought she heard the sound of his footsteps.

“Yes. Ya know, if you want to keep watch? In the future? Do it from inside.”

There was silence for a prolonged moment and then, the detective startled, sitting up and rushing to find the light at her bedside table at the sound that came from her hall.

“I am inside.” came Adam’s voice, both from the phone and the outside of her bedroom door, sounding way too smug.

The detective threw off her covers completely and marched to the door, throwing it open.

“As I said. Entirely unsound. You did not even hear me remove the screen—”

“Adam.” she said, voice terse and annoyed and tired. Whatever she hoped to say next was lost as her shoulders hunched forward and his expression softened a fraction.

It was then he seemed to note more fully her attire, standing before him in nothing but a thread-bare t-shirt that was so large it hung off one shoulder and a pair of boyshorts. The detective felt the sudden tension roil to the surface, warm and familiar and yet distant. Out of reach.

He swallowed thickly and the detective began to wonder just how long he had been outside her window.

“Just stay here… if you’re that concerned.” the detective said with a sigh, turning and crawling back into bed. She turned to look back at him, noting while his body was frozen his eyes had followed her every step of the way, blazing with vibrant green at the sight of her, half-dressed and lazing on the mattress.

“... I… I cannot.” Adam was at a loss, the prospect no doubt making his head spin and his heart hammer as intently as her own.

“You can. Since it isn’t all of the team, you should be able to find a place to sit out there.” she said with a nervous laugh, the spell breaking the moment Adam realized what it was she was offering. Tension rolled off his shoulders, relief in his exhaled breath.

“You meant in the living room.”

“Where else would I have meant?” the detective replied, making a point of lingering near one edge of the bed, leaving the side closest to him open and terribly inviting. For a moment she enjoyed watching the way his breath puffed from his lungs before catching. That tiny flicker of wanting that he snapped back up and hid down deep the moment it dared rear forward.

“I guess you could always bring a chair in here,” she said, yawning and stretching her arms above her head until the t-shirt rose up high on her waist, revealing the bare line of her thighs. She relaxed and watched Adam’s eyes follow the hem back down.

Without a word, Adam vanished from the doorway. For a moment, the detective felt her heart seize, worried she’d pressed too hard.

But in a moment he returned, one of the antique padded, high backed chairs from her small dining table in hand.

He set it by the window, making a point of glancing out over the parking lot before he sat down.

They lingered like that for a moment, the sound of insects, the soft breeze of the wind outside and the gentle whirl of the ceiling fan filling the silence.

“I’m going to turn the light off.” the detective warned quietly. Adam gave a nod. She leaned over and flicked off the switch, sitting for a moment in the darkness until her eyes adjusted and she could make him out.

He was watching her.

She settled under her blankets, stilling once she had become comfortable again and finding the sleep that had been right at the forefront of her thoughts suddenly illusive.

“...well, good night.” she said with a soft, nervous laugh. Her heart was beating fiercely in her chest. She wondered if he could hear it. No. She knew he could hear it. She willed herself to calm, letting her thoughts fade to the daydreams that helped ease her into sleep. Every once in a while she heard him shift, the sound of fabric, of the chair. His presence was a soothing one, even if it did also make her heart skip and patter in her breast.

It took awhile, but eventually her pulse settled and slowly she drifted back off to sleep.

--

The sound of her heart was like that of a rabbit caught in a snare at first, thrumming with beats and the flow of her blood, rippling like a stream. Adam had felt his own racing to match, falling in pace now as it settled and slowed.

He tried not to move. Not to make a sound. As if doing so would make his being here less— real. Less present.

It did not help.

It only took an hour or so before he could tell she was truly and wholly asleep, her soft breaths deep and even. At that point, Adam felt himself finally able to relax, able to set fully to the task of keeping a watch out over the complex.

This was why he preferred her to stay at the warehouse. Where he could stand watch without her ever knowing he was there. Which he did—every night she stayed with them. Distance made his chest ache, restrictive and demanding. Searching. As if his heart would escape his ribs if it could to seek her out, only calmed when she was near.

Adam knew this was not just fear for her safety. Knew it was deeper than that, but still refused to place the words that so obviously described the feeling to it.

But now, in the dark, in the quiet calm, he let them flit through his head.

He missed her when she was gone. Without reason. Without sense. Which was why he tried to attribute something rational, something vaguely resembling reason when he argued why she should remain at the warehouse. With them. With him.

This, Adam supposed, was suitable enough.

She shifted in her dreams, the blanket pulling from her legs as she clung to it. After a moment, she shivered. Adam stood, pulling one of the soft quilts from the bed out and laying it over her. He smoothed his hand down her leg from the knee, resting his palm on her ankle until she calmed once more.

He had to fight the urge to lift his hand, to retrace the soft path it had just taken. When the feeling was well under control, he returned to his spot by the window.

When the sun rose, Adam would be gone.

But for now, he closed his eyes and listened to her breathe.

[barzzal]

when the ball drops

summary: out of all the times you wanted to bail, for once you were certainly glad you didn’t ditch this year’s new year’s eve party.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: language, parties, drinking, flirty banters + a smitten mat (set in a pandemic free au)

↳ genre: fluff, meeting a total stranger, early 2000’s romantic/comedy typa thing (what i think at least)

↳ length: imagine; 5.9k

↳ masterlist: the barn

note: this is an entry for @hockeynetwork’s winter fic exchange and i was matched as @bqstqnbruin’s secret santa! i genuinely hope you get to enjoy this, boo!! i wanna thank a few mutuals, @tkachukme @calgarycanuck @pizzarandomness (esp @thirteenisles !!) for helping me out so i could get thru with writing this imagine! you guys are so nice i truly appreciate all of you. happy holidays & happy new year, everyone! 💕 (gif used: mine)

Every year you swear to yourself that you would spend the New Year’s at home, eating a peaceful dinner by yourself and maybe enjoy a good bottle of wine whilst you spend the whole night watching The Holiday. But just like all the other years you have spent alone since you’ve moved to New York, you end up breaking that same promise, pretty much with the help of your two best friends Emma and Katie.

Now, instead of being curled up in your living room, wearing your favourite knitted sweater and away from all the New Year chaos happening all at once in the very best place to celebrate such a festive occasion, here you are, getting your second glass of vodka tonic as you wait for the goddamn ball to drop.

The local bar has always been crowded especially during this time of the year. You and your friends already made it an annual thing which is probably the reason why despite the yearning you have for the idea of spending it all alone, you couldn’t find enough courage to ditch them and disappear even just for one night. 

“Where are the girls?” Gavin, the owner of the bar whom you’ve already befriended due to the amount of times you and the girls spent helping him close up was busily wiping the counter when you sat in your usual seat.

You casually motioned your hand to where you left Emma and Katie, dancing with men they’d most certainly end up kissing once the clock strikes twelve. 

“Alone again? You’ve got to blow off some steam, y/n.” He greets you with a concerned look exuding from his virile exterior. You idly shake your head, giving him a tight smile to reassure him that you were doing okay. 

“It’s not that big a deal.” is the usual thing you say to people when your being ‘alone’ on the holidays becomes in question. “Besides, I’m a big girl, Gavs.” You proudly announce, leaning against the bar with your palm resting underneath your chin. 

“I know you’re a ‘big girl’.” He rolls his eyes before his gaze trails off to your friends and then landing onto a couple of young lads from across the room. “I’m just saying, loosen up. Meet people. It feels nice to have someone holding you close at night so don’t be too hard on yourself.” 

A snort bursts from you as soon as you hear the words leave Gavin’s mouth. Who would have known a guy as tough-looking as him would be too much of a softy underneath? 

“What?” He holds his guard as he continues making your drink. The liquid swirling around a few ice cubes and a shot of liquor. 

“Nothing, nothing. I just– I didn’t think you were one of those people.” You say, clearing your voice once you’ve finally gathered yourself. “You know, the sappy romantics.”

Gavin looks at you, giving you an ‘Oh, please.’ look. “No, ‘cause that’s where you’re wrong.” He protests. “I’ve always been this soft, “sappy romantic” kinda guy. You just choose to see me the way you see me; a typical macho man who hands you good drinks.” He pauses, finishing off with the last touches of your drink. “But you know what? That’s fine. ‘Cause that’s how I know you’re just like me.” He then slides the cold drink towards you. 

“What do you mean?” You were intrigued to be fair. You already had your head tilted to the side trying to piece something that could justify what he just said.

“That.” He looks at you, index finger circling before your eyes to make his argument even more compelling. “You act like a strong independent woman, which by the way you still are,– but you have to admit that you do want someone who’s gonna want to spend his New Year’s watching that dumb old movie of yours.” He says with a grin before he pours another customer a shot of tequila. 

You were sure you wanted to just shrug it off, but somehow, you can’t help but think of how his words hit you in the subtlest way. Each word bearing an insane amount of possibilities of him being right all along. 

But what’d he know anyway? It’s not like he knew you better than anyone else. Maybe it’s just his way with words. Or maybe he’s just that good. After all, that’s basically the reason why he’s running a goddamn bar, right?

𖥸

It wasn’t Mat’s first time spending New Year’s away from his family but if he only had a choice, he’d certainly take the next plane with no question. However, given how the team’s fight for the Cup is going stronger than the last season, he couldn’t bring himself to risk going away and missing out on his usual routines. So, for the past couple of weeks he’d let himself be stuck with Beauvillier throughout the holidays. 

Now, for the sake of festivities, the two decided it’d be best to come out to the city and have fun welcoming the New Year along with some good friends that were surprisingly available at the last minute. That being said, the local bar was already the third one they’ve gone to having started the drinking binge earlier than intended. 

“Happy New Fucking Year, Motherfuckers!” The loudest and perhaps, the drunkest man cheered at the center of the dance floor, holding up his drink carelessly as he danced to the mind numbing EDM coming off from the DJ’s booth. 

“Way to get wasted. Am I right?” Dan says as he stands to gather everyone and clink their beer mugs for the nth time. 

“Somebody’s definitely gonna miss the ball drop.” Tito snides, referring to the drunken man cheering tirelessly. Mat shakes his head and idly laughs. Their glasses meet halfway, causing some of the beer to spill over the table. The loud music and cheers echoed in Mathew’s ears, finding the whole scene a little too overwhelming despite how he liked to loosen up with bottomless drinks coming his way. 

Somehow, he was thankful that he needed a second to breathe which only meant having to take his eyes off of the same guys he hangs with on and off the ice. Because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been able to see someone so beautiful yet seemingly out of place when his gaze landed onto that one girl sitting by the bar all by herself at what seems to be the loudest pub in the city. 

“God, she’s pretty.” The words unknowingly slip off his tongue, making him realize he’s announced his thoughts out for the group just enough to make their brows quirk at the now out-of-reach Mathew.

“What?” Anthony leans closer to him so as to give himself a view of what Mat had his eyes peeled for. 

“That girl by the bar, she’s— she’s really pretty.” Mathew says, completely sure that he has never said anything true in his life. Much to his surprise, the boys gathered around and turned their heads towards the girl sitting by the bar. 

“So? Go and talk to her, man.” Anthony casually proposes with a nudge, urging him to go after her. 

Mathew immediately lets out a foolish scoff and chooses to gulp a large amount of liquor from his mug. 

“Yeah, just go for it. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Tyson chides, looking at the girl who has utterly made their night a little more interesting. That being said, being stuck with the three biggest blokes wasn’t that too interesting to begin with. 

“Oh, worst thing? She could hear me!” Mat runs a hand through his hair, incapable of taking his eyes off of her even just for a second. 

“You know if you don’t, I will.” Tyson puts his beer down and acts as if to make the move Mathew was too hesitant to do himself in order to boost his mate.

“Fuck off. Fine. Hold my beer.” Mat rolls his eyes and shoves Tyson his mug before gathering himself by straightening creases off his suit along with a few sharp breaths to ease out the nervousness he’d been feeling.

You watch the teeny tiny leaf of mint swirl around the whirl of liquor you’ve successfully made, ignoring all the background noise, still evidently fixated on the words Gavin has left you with earlier. Has it really been that long since you allowed yourself to be fully vulnerable around someone? 

A sad smile escapes your lips, one that made the man that was now towering all over you wonder what could have possibly caused such melancholy on the most beautiful girl he has seen all throughout the city. That’s a rather heavy way to put it but that doesn't mean he was lying. He did find you really pretty. Maybe even a little too much and too out of his league.

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts.

“Hi.” He says, gray eyes illuminated by the strobe lights hitting your direction. You give him a tight smile, acknowledging his presence and frankly even the boldness he had to strike up a conversation. 

“I just wanted to ask if what you’re drinking is any good.” Mat subconsciously reprimands himself for coming up with what is yet to be the lamest thing he’s ever told a girl. 

Great. Now, you’re asking her if a vodka tonic is good? As if it could get any better? He thinks to himself. So, to compensate and reduce further damage, he plays it off by laughing quite sheepishly as he absent-mindedly massages his nape.

Noticing what the man was doing, you let out a shy laugh too, biting your lower lip as you find his foolish attempt of hitting on you quite adorable.

“Wow. You’re really good at this.” You tease, now giving away a playful smile, poking at his middle school pick up line. 

Mathew chuckles. His doe eyes shy and alienated by the confidence he certainly knew he had not until a few seconds ago when he met yours. “I swear I’m better than this.” He tries again, this time earning himself a soft giggle from you.

Atta boy, Mat. 

“I’m Mat by the way. Mathew Barzal.” 

He reaches out his hand which you gladly took. It was calloused and rough around the edges whilst Mat found yours completely fitting in his. Your eyes meet halfway as you both shook each other’s hands. Fingers lingering quite longer than it should be.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.” 

“So, you’re telling me you haven’t had a tonic before?” You ask him, hands now all to yourselves. Mat leans against the bar, his elbow resting on the counter, unable to suppress the embarrassment now dawning on him upon remembering his little set back.

“I’m sort of a vodka tonic connoisseur.” He kids in an attempt to redeem himself. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.” 

You look at him, shaking your head at how unbelievably gorgeous this man is. “Fine. It wasn’t. I’ll give you that.” 

“So,” He takes a deep breath before taking one of the empty seats beside you. “I– I can’t help but wonder, I mean– if it’s not too forward of me, how come you’re drinking alone on New Year’s?” 

You take a sip off of your drink and faintly shake your head, dismissing his query. “Hmm. Actually, no.” 

Mathew muttered an “oh.” at the thought of hearing what he thinks you’re about to say next. To his surprise, and frankly feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, you motion towards your best girls, Emma and Katie who were now obviously way too fond of the guys they just met.

“See those girls?” 

Mathew nods, the answer to his question now becoming much clearer and put together. An answer that absolutely went along with his cards well. 

“Those are two of the most important persons in my life going at it at a New Year’s Eve Party.” 

“Would it be wrong to ask why aren’t you ‘going at it’ like how they’re doing it now?”

Is he always this formal? You think, lips curving to a grin. 

“What?” He asks when he sees the expression (he can’t quite put a finger on) on your face.

“Nah. I’m all good. I mean, not that I don’t want to. I just–” You pause. Unsure of whether telling him the truth would do your case any better. What’s there to lose anyway? He’s just some guy you’re bound to meet at the bar. It’s not like you didn’t anticipate a scenario like this from happening, right?

“Just take me as someone who isn’t really fond of big parties,” he then cuts you off and finishes your sentence, “But still go anyways.” 

“Exactly.” 

Gavin pops in for a bit, handing Mathew a bottle of beer he was certain of not ordering. He looks at him puzzled. A silent question that Gavin answered with a wink before getting back to tending to his alcohol induced customers. 

Apparently, it’s on the house.

“How come you’re here chatting with me when your friends are all the way there?” You motion towards a curly haired man and the other boys across the room. One was even smiling at you but you just opted on giving him a nod before turning your head back towards Mathew.

“Well, I didn’t like the idea of having you celebrate the New Year’s alone.” He honestly says. But since you were the kind of person who wasn’t the best at taking any type of compliment nor flirty exchanges like a normal person would, you roll your eyes and be the blunt person you were always known for. “Oh. I thought you saw a girl sitting alone at the bar and saw that as an opening.” 

To be fair, Mat wasn’t really intimidated by your remark. In fact, he actually liked how straight forward you were with him. You didn’t look at him the way he’s gotten used to whenever he comes up and introduces himself to other girls; something that only made him more interested in you. He can’t help but want to know what exactly is going on in your mind. Not the creepy kind, of course. Just the one where he’d rather spend the New Year’s getting to know a total stranger than getting insanely pissed with the same men he’s spent most of his days with.

“That too.” He admits, taking a sip off his beer without breaking his eyes off you. 

There was a sheer silence for a moment. The kind that Mat knew was much deafening than the booming sound of the usual dreadful New Year’s Eve Party. “So tell me,” Mat regains himself, catching your attention once again. “What would you rather be doing tonight? You know, if you hadn’t had to come out here.” 

He watches your lips quirk thinking about what it was that you actually wanted to do tonight. Then again, you only had one thing in mind. 

“I kinda wanted to spend it alone for the past three years.” 

“That long? How come?”

“Well, you know, for some peace and quiet. Maybe watch a movie or two.”

Like what he has been doing since the moment he’d gone to talk to you, he watches you run your fingers around the rim of your cold drink. Evidently immersed in your own thoughts from trying to piece out the real reason behind your grave wanting to spend the occasion alone. 

Turning the tables, you ask the same question back, “What about you? I mean, other than getting shit faced, what would you rather be doing?” 

Mathew takes a deep breath trying to suppress the longing he’s felt for the past few weeks. He just misses his family so much that he couldn’t help but wonder how they’re doing even if he’s constantly kept in touch with them hours before he’d gone out with the boys. 

“I’ll be with my folks. You know, all that usual family stuff.” He answers you shortly. 

You didn’t think much of what he’s told you so you just tell him the very thing that crossed your mind. “You know, it’s amazing how two people who didn’t even want to be here find each other just so they could bitch about not wanting to be here a little bit more.”

The two of you share a good laugh, utterly and undeniably enjoying each other’s company. It didn’t feel weird having to talk to a total stranger, let alone let them have bits and pieces of yourself that only enables them to put together an image of you that isn’t even as close to who you really are. Regardless of that notion, there was something about how Mathew connected with you, and how you connected with him. 

It was far from being the movie type of thing, but you have to admit, the remainder of the time you two have spent talking over a half empty bottle of beer and a glass of vodka tonic has definitely made the two of you feel this unexplainable wanting of having to learn more about each other. That being said, when all drinks were drunk till its last drop, Mathew couldn’t help himself from wanting to spend a bit more time with you. Maybe, even the whole night if you’d only let him. 

“D’you want to get out of here?” He shoots his shot as quickly as he could, afraid that losing even just a second would mean losing a night of spontaneity with you. 

You have long waited for a reason to miss the annual party. And if that meant having to wait three years just so you could stumble upon a tall and fairly handsome man that was going to save you from a dreadful evening, nothing would’ve felt as right as this if it weren’t for the push Mat had stored in his piercing eyes and mischievous grin. 

You didn’t have to give it much thought. After spending a whole hour exchanging little trivias of yourselves, Mat finally had it easy in making a riveting case. You sigh in defeat as you fish out a few cash from your purse and slide it into your tab. 

Excitement now exuding from Mathew, he bobs his brows up and down whilst he watches you roll your eyes once again for the hundredth time tonight. “I’m gonna hate you for this.” You tell him as you get off the bar stool.

Mat hurriedly signals Tito for his coat to which he was able to catch the moment he had tossed it towards his way. He then gets yours that was placed on the back of your seat before finally following you out towards the door.

“I highly doubt that.” 

𖥸

Mathew draped your coat over your shoulders, helping you to slip into it. You politely say your thanks and hold your purse close, your gloves gripping onto the leather as the two of you stroll the streets of New York, the winter breeze brushing on your cheeks with every stride you make. 

“So,” You begin, putting both of your hands inside your coat pockets. “Where are you taking me, Mat?” 

He tries to think for a second. The thought of not having a concrete plan for the night finally dawns on him. He clicks his tongue and breathes in the familiar scent of the city. Mathew looks around the block and spots the good old food truck he and the boys once tried when they were out for an away game with the Rangers. 

“How about New York’s finest burrito?” He points to where the truck was parked, clueless to how his sudden movement placed him inches closer to you. You didn’t notice it until you looked at him for his eyes were still pinned to where the truck was at. 

Mat’s eyes were pretty. That’s a known fact. But what you didn’t realize was how astonishing they are not until you got this close. You took in the sight sitting before you as fast as you could while he was still preoccupied like a five-year-old kid seeing an ice-cream truck pass by the neighborhood. Your eyes linger from his well structured brows, his unbelievably long lashes, down to the tip of his nose and his rosy cheeks before finally settling down to his cherry plump lips. All of which were more than enough to send butterflies in your stomach. 

“O-Okay.” You agree. Mathew takes you by the hand before you can even say a word. Thank the gods for letting you live in a city that seems to never stop the hustle to still have open food trucks good for a quick bite at this time of the night close into New Year’s.

“Hey, bud. Two sixes to go, please.” Mathew says politely once he knocks on the window. 

“You’ve got to try this, I swear.” He looks back at you with the same warm smile beaming on his face.

“Unless you want a proper meal? I mean, there’s a diner down the–” You immediately cut him off and take out your purse, offering to pay for it instead. “No! It’s fine, really. I’m a bit hungry myself.” 

After spending the whole time waiting for the wrapped snack, arguing on who would be paying, you let Mathew have this one for now even if you didn’t like others paying for what you can pay yourself.

You take a good look at your watch and see that you only have about an hour left till midnight. An idea pops in your head, making you gasp at the thought. Mathew looks at you with a half-eaten burrito in his hand, his brows all furrowed as if to ask a piece of your mind. 

“Come on, I know where we should go.” 

𖥸

Mathew never thought he’d found himself standing on a rooftop of a random building overlooking the Empire State during one of the coldest times in the city. The things that has only kept him sane was the girl who was still holding his hand, the city lights that have always left him in awe, and of course, the well heated rooftop.

There have been a few exchanges that are quite notable over the time you’ve spent with Mathew. He’s told you about the usual night outs he and the boys have for leisure, the family he had back in Coquitlam, how much he misses his mom and his sister, and how much love he has for hockey that he ended up doing the thing he loved most for a career. 

Him, on the one hand, pretty much learned the same stuff about you. Well, almost, for he has yet to ask you the one thing that has been bugging him off all night. 

You were telling him how this was your safe haven in the city and how much you loved going here every time you felt like needing to take a deep breath and step back from the world when he asked you a simple question. One that’s absolutely left you surprised (and a little bit impressed) that he still even remembered it at this point. 

“What’s the movie about? You know, the one you’ve been wanting to see tonight.” He asks, both of his hands inside his pockets to keep warm. 

The two of you sat on the bench facing thousands of lights illuminating the whole city. You look at him for a second, biting your lip as you contest with yourself, the thought of Mat being the kind of douché that would shit around women and their romantic comedy films comes rushing to you like a cold December breeze. 

“Alright, why do you want to know?” You pass the ball back to his court. To which Mat shortly answers with a level-headed sigh. “I kinda get the feeling it has something to do with the three-year thing.” 

“You’re nosy.” You kiddingly say, earning a chuckle from him. 

“You’ve spent the whole night walking with me and I can barely even feel my legs anymore, y/n. Trust me, between you and me, you know you’re the nosy one.” The two of you share a small laugh, your voices are the only sound that can be heard besides the sleepless city acting as a white noise to you and Mathew’s little bubble. 

“Fine. And you’re a fucking athlete, so don’t even start.” 

You playfully give him a nudge on the shoulder when he starts mimicking what you say. Mat stops immediately and looks at you with the same doe eyes glinting under the security lights that the rooftop had. He then patiently waits for you to gather your thoughts, breathing in all of New York as he lets himself drown in your presence. 

You didn’t know how but there was this unspeakable comfort you feel around Mat. Sure, he was just a total stranger you’ve met a few hours ago, but no one, not even the guy who dumped you after your five-date rule, was able to connect with you at the same level as Mathew did. 

“It’s not that I want to see it so bad. I’ve watched it for like– a reasonable amount before it became my comfort movie. Plus, it’s literally called The Holiday. Why wouldn’t you want to see it during the holiday?”

You tell him a bit more of how you’ve come into liking it, stalling him from the real reason why you wanted to celebrate the New Year’s alone. But you know, that even after all the circles you’re willing to go through just to keep Mat at bay, you’re bound to lose all your strings and resort to telling him in the end. You just hope you wouldn’t be making the same mistake you’ve made three years ago. 

You told Mathew about your on and off childhood sweetheart Claude who has always kept you high and dry throughout the years of being together. (That is if you were in fact together.) He was the constant reminder that you will never be the kind of person someone would want to stick around with.

You and him go a long way. You both ended up going to the same university because he just had to have you around and that he couldn’t afford not being with you even just for a second. He said that he couldn’t take the thought of having to see you only on the holidays so as the dumb kid you once were, your feet followed his everywhere he’d gone.

That cycle went on and on until you finally had the courage to leave everything behind and move to New York. Months as a new kid in the city, you were scared, of course. You spent your days hanging around your apartment, doing all sorts of crap you can even think of just so you wouldn’t have to leave your flat. Although, meeting Emma and Katie was the biggest push you needed to finally let yourself let loose. Long story short, at the first New Year’s Eve Party you’ve ever gone to after moving in the city, the person you least expected to see was the very first one to come out of Gavin's bar. Claude.

Just like what a normal person would do, the two of you sat down and caught up. Pretty much the same thing you’ve gone with Mathew. Although only a lot less chit chat and a lot more kissing.

Claude told you his real intentions. He said that he wanted to start something with you for real. Of course, you had let him but you have made the biggest mistake of telling him about your five-date rule.

Lo and behold, Claude did stick around for the fifth date. That being said, he had stayed only for the fifth date. You saw him sneaking out of your flat so early in the morning, leaving you nothing but a voicemail that said his foolish reasons and insincere apologies. Since then, after a lot of major hook ups here and there, you’ve never let yourself become as vulnerable and stupid as you once were with the biggest douche you’ve ever met.

“It’s crazy, I know. You can laugh about it.” You say when Mat hasn’t spoken for a few seconds. 

He takes a glance at you, a tight smile on his face. “I don’t think it’s crazy. That man is crazy. And also, a big prick. Classic dick move.” He tells you before he turns his eyes back to the city.

“Well, yeah. That’s me. That’s the holiday story.” 

“A crappy one, of course.” You add. 

Mat shakes his head no. He didn’t know why exactly but all he wanted to do at that moment, a few seconds before New Year’s, was to give you something,– even just a memory you could look back on. That that story isn’t going to be the one you’d be remembering for the next holidays. He wanted his to be something that’ll make your three-year-old crappy story long gone and forgotten. That his version would be the one that’s stuck.

“Definitely not this one.” 

As the clock strikes twelve, cheers erupted throughout New York along with fireworks shooting into the city’s midnight sky. The first thing you see upon looking back were the same kind eyes of the man whom you have randomly met at the party you dreaded most. Only this time, drowning you little by little as it becomes iridescent under the thousands of lights covering New York City.

You were frozen to your seat as Mat’s face inch closer to yours. You feel his breath against your cold skin as if it was lulling you to sleep. His hands find its way to your face, cupping both of your cheeks rather gently as he finally paints a new memory you’d be carrying for the rest of your holidays. 

“Happy New Year.” He greets you, almost like a faint whisper whilst the two of you gasp for breath. You blink a few times just to process what had just happened and digest how unbelievably good that kiss was. 

Mathew’s hands were still on your cheeks. You held them close so he’d know you weren’t ready to let go. You take a deep breath, gathering enough courage to ask him an unusual way of greeting someone a Happy New Year. 

“Will you walk me to my car?”

𖥸

You have both of your hands tucked inside your coat pockets as you walked the street leading to where you left your car. Mat was just telling you about the game happening next Thursday against the Bruins and how it would mean a lot to him if you’d come and see him play. 

“To be fair, the Bruins are good.” You commented, a playful smirk plastered on your face rather teasingly. 

Mathew lets out a snort as he rolls his eyes, chuckling at the thought of you dissing on his team the moment you had the chance. “Hey, both teams are good.” 

“It’s just the matter of who’s better.” You finish his sentence, yet again working your way with a clever remark. Mat hums, not necessarily agreeing with your sentiment. 

“So will you come?” He asks again just so he could hear you say yes. You take a deep breath, not letting yourself think too much of the said invitation. If you’re going, you’re going as a friend. Actually, you weren’t even sure if you could even call yourself such a label.

You nod your head yes to which had become the reason of Mathew’s glee. The two of you walked side by side in peace, basking in the comfort of each other’s presence. 

Once the rush of excitement about you coming to one of his games starts to wear down, Mathew begins to feel the weight of walking befall on him as it grows quicker with each step he takes. With his brows meeting halfway, he looks at you, eyes evident with confusion. 

“Where did you park your car exactly? I feel like we’re walking straight to Long Island.” He chortles, scratching his temple quite adorably.

You bit your lower lip as you looked up at him. Mathew’s physique towering over yours. “I uh– I took a cab to the party. My car’s actually parked outside my apartment.” You admit with a shy laugh.

Mat’s mouth went agape upon hearing you confess; awkward silence envelops the two of you with every second spent not talking to one another. Not long after, he decides to break the ice, undeniably impressed at how he’d never seen it coming.

Clever. He thinks, incapable of stopping his gut from swirling. His smile widens when he sees you looking at him; unfazed and perhaps, enamoured. 

𖥸

Mat did walk you to your car. The two of you exchange your thank you’s; utterly grateful for what has to be the best New Year’s you had in years. 

You wanted to ask him for one last cup of coffee because the last thing you wanted him to do was leave. But after all the things you’ve gone through with the man within such a short amount of time (and frankly, even a tedious walk) you still failed to muster enough courage to stop him from doing so. 

Once you see him get in the lone cab that miraculously passed by your neighborhood at such an ungodly hour, you close the door behind and head straight to your flat. 

You get home to the sight of your weighted blanket spread over your couch along with a couple of pillows that seems to be the best place to bury yourself in after a tiresome night out. Things were just as they were left hours ago; prepped for a much awaited movie night. As planned, you quickly get out of your winter clothes, head for a quick shower, before finally slipping into some comfortable nightwear.

You were just finishing up putting the bowl of popcorn and a bottle of Chardonnay on top of the coffee table when a buzz coming from the intercom catches your attention.

Once your hands were free, you quickly made your way towards the box, a bit irked at the thought of Katie and Emma ruining your long-overdue New Year agenda upon remembering how she’d told you to let her in the building just in case Katie gets a little too overboard. 

“Emma, I’m about to watch Jude Fucking Law. Just come up!” You hurriedly say, turning your head back to the screen which already had the movie on pause. 

However, instead of Katie’s whiny and drunken voice, what you heard was the same familiar chuckle that had been cruising your mind all night. 

“You know, I don’t think I mentioned that I haven’t watched The Holiday. Is Jude Fucking Law any good?” He asks. A mental image of how his eyes crinkle when he laughs comes to mind upon hearing his voice. 

Once again, pretty much like how you’ve spent the whole evening with Mathew, a wide smile lets loose as you press the black button. “Come on up.”

[monsoonblooms12]

In Sunshine & In Shadow: Chapter 1-Love & Laughs

Summary of the Series: Let's set out on the walk of life. Pack up for embarking on an adventure of a lifetime with our favourite residents. A series of love, friendship and travel. It is all about fuelling your wanderlust❤️

In this chapter: Pooja and Ethan spend some cute moments and the talk of the trip begins.

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a long time as I figured out the storylines I wanted to do for the various pairings. Now that I have planned everything, I can finally start posting. This chapter is Poo & E. We meet the others in the next chapter💛

If you enjoyed the story, please like it, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going💕

Thank you so much @jamespotterthefirst for prereading. Love you💛💛

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Dr. Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: around 2.2K

Rating: General

Prompt :- @choicesaprilchallenge2021 Day 6: Sonder

Derry Roasters was abuzz with enthusiasm, but it didn't seem to act on her. To her, it felt like someone had turned the hourglass of her life, let the sand flow and forgot to turn it back. Her time had stopped there on its tracks.

Around her, people rushed through their day, not waiting for anyone. She felt like the still picture amidst a fast-motion video. Sonder was the word Pooja would use to describe the way she felt. Sonder, for her, is Surprise and Wonder intertwined in a single word. Wonder, at how life changes every minute of every moment. And Surprise at how, even after so many afflictions, tribulations, one will find the happiness that destiny had in store for them.

The thoughts in her mind swirled and asked for all her cognizance. Transfixing her mind in them, she let her emotions engulf her with leaden steps.

Ting Ding Ding

Pooja's eyes tardily broke contact with the empty bone china coffee mug as she picked up her phone.

Brookline Rejuvenate sent you an email.

But for her, it manifested being a testament that all of it was happening.

That she was not tumbling around in an atrocious daydream, which would vanish the instant, she fluttered her orbs agape.

Yes.

Edenbrook, the nonpareil hospital in the entire States, was closing down.

Every day of operating there, felt like she was relishing in the will-o'-the-wisp of her aspirations.

The thoughts of Edenbrook made her mind travel to the day when it all began. The elegant calligraphy on the envelope with the Cerulean and Lime Green Logo that bore her name. The message that turned her life upside down forever.

Then the Diagnostics Team. The extreme cases they had solved. They saw its end too. They were working their free hours at the free clinic or in the ER. Everything, every day, seemed to rush around her.

The days seemed to fly past, and so did the time remaining for Edenbrook.

Everyone had started looking up places to carry on with their medical careers & residencies. But no one wanted to leave Edenbrook before it closed down. They wanted to cherish every day before the ticking clock struck midnight and supply the last of their best healthcare to as many people as possible.

The thought of leaving everything behind was painful for Pooja. You are taking away the most valuable of things, she convinced herself. You are taking away memories. Beautiful memories. Painful memories.

But there was another nagging thought that piqued her time and again.

The Gala was everything she ever imagined. But the most memorable of the moments was The Kiss. He had kissed her.

In front of everyone.

Her mind went to the embedding touches Ethan left on her that night.

Now, as Edenbrook's time came to an end, and she planned about the rest of her residency, she thought of her and Ethan's relationship.

Were they meant to be? Were all those feather-light touches, the kisses in the rain, the tears they shed together, going to end in vain? Were their lives only connected till here?

Was it the beginning of the end?

"You're here."

You will live a hundred years, Ethan Ramsey.

Tearing away from the colossal reticulation of her thoughts, she turned towards him. His summery blues, meeting her ambers.

"Hey You"

Ethan came over and sat in front of her.

"You didn't tell me you were coming here. I had to ask Alex and Sienna to know about your whereabouts."

Pooja let out a tiny laugh. "Whereabouts? You are making me feel like a criminal."

Ethan chuckled. "If so, then you would be the most beautiful criminal I have ever seen."

This made Pooja giggle harder. "You are talking as if you have met hundreds of criminals."

"I will never win any debate with you. So let's just...let it be?"

"Accepting Defeat, Dr. Ramsey?"

"If it makes you smile that, then I will always accept defeat for you."

A blush crept up her neck as she said, "Okay, too much. Now stop"

Ethan let out a last chuckle as his order arrived. A Vienna, a coffee and black forest cake for him and a butterscotch one for her.

Taking her piece in hand, Pooja said, "All I need is you."

"Hey, what about me?"

"Ah, you know you can never win the battle against this" She held up the cake.

"You're ridiculous."

A subtle tee-hee, and they were surrounded with a perfect silence as they got lost in each other's world.

A world where all the hustle-bustle inundating them evaporated. There were no questions asked, no side looks given, and no stops in the world of their love. In this world, their coffee, cake and their memories were their sole companions.

There were no catechisms, no side looks given, and no obstructions in the world of their love.

"So…umm..." Ethan began.

"Yeah?"

Oh, C'mon Ramsey, it is obvious that you have fallen real deep for her! Alex's usual tease came ringing in his ears.

Oh Lexandra, why don't you leave me alone?

But she is right.

Ugh! Since when did The Ethan Ramsey, the man who could make an intern tremble with fear, start to fumble?

He took a deep breath, centred himself and began again.

"Can we go on a tour? With all of your friends or the Invincibles as you all ridiculously like to call yourselves.

"Wait. You Remember That?"

"How can I forget when you are singing the name in front of me every 10 minutes or so?"

"Or maybe you need a membership to the Invincibles? Which, I should make clear, you are not getting."

"You are ridiculous-"

"-ly smart. Ya, I know, Thank you very much. And speaking of the trip, I would go on a trip at any time, anywhere, you don't need to ask. Just tell. I will be ready in 10 minutes."

"You know I am not talking about a trip from here to Brookline. We could go on, you know, an international tour. To a place of your choices."

Pooja's face became Stoic, expressionless. A sudden flurry of anxiousness spread through Ethan's Heart.

Then he remembered. A tip Alex had given him "free of cost" as she would like to say, a few days back.

"Anytime you are asking Poo to go on a trip to one of her favourite places, just count till five after placing your point."

"Five? Why?"

"Just do as I say, and you will see for yourself" Alex winked and left.

So he did.

One, He saw Pooja's eyes widen a bit.

Two, Her Amber eyes were full of joy and excitement.

Three, A light blush and the faint dimple on her left cheek appeared, adding a shimmer to her beauty.

Four, Her lips crept up in a faint smile.

Five, Her face and expression fully express-

"YAY! YAY! YAY!" Her cheer came along which earned her side-glances from the other customers. But who cares when it's an international trip you are talking about?

Of course, Ethan thought, Lexandra was right.

"That is a Thantastic idea!!!"

"I am sorry, but Thantastic?" Ethan couldn't help but chuckle. She was a source of his never-ending amusement.

"Gawd Thanie! Thantastic is just an Ethan version of Fantastic. Duh!"

She bent over the table.

Deceiving him to think that she was going to kiss him. In front of the entire coffee shop.

Only for her to smack his forehead lightly and comedically.

Since when did you become a sappy idiot like that? Ethan mentally ridiculed himself.

"Stop making a comedy show out of me in front of the entire coffee shop."

"Stop acting comedically, and I will stop too" Pooja shrugged and flashed that one dimpled smile that he had come to be a fan of

The things the girl does to me! And I thought love didn't exist. Even Ethan's mind was satirizing him.

The snap of two fingers brought him back from Ethan-land to the Derry Roasters, Boston, Massachusetts.

"I thought Ethan-land doesn't exist. Glad to be proven wrong." Pooja's mocking giggle was a melody he wanted to record on a vinyl and play on a record player time and again.

He thought of presenting a counter-argument.

You still won't win.

So instead of wasting his energy in vain, he decided to save it for later.

"Hmm. Coffee done. Now let's head home. We will ask them to pack the cakes."

"Buy a few more."

"Hmm?"

"You know trip planning? And I am pretty sure I said that you can bring along your fri-"

"I think you mean The Invincibles?" Pooja cut him off, cocking her right eyebrow.

"Whatever." Rolling his eyes, Ethan didn't let his amusement seep through his features.

They both got up. Ethan bought a bunch of cakes while Pooja giggled, nearly tripped and sprained her left ankle lightly, and finally succeeded in texting her mates to join them for trip-ing plan.

When Ethan came out of the coffee shop, hands full, he saw her slight limping as she walked towards their car.

Shaking his head, and having a mental peal of laughter because of her clumsiness, he went to the car. Opening the rear door, he kept all the goodies on the back seat.

Then he turned towards Pooja. She still had all of her attention transfixed in reading something fascinating on her phone. She didn't even notice him.

In a quick motion, he went up to her, and before she could process the whole thing, picked her up bridal style and seated her in the front passenger seat.

The next minute, he was behind the wheel and was driving them home. More specifically, The condo of the Invincibles.

Mental eye-roll.

"Ahem, Ahem"

Of Course. She was yet to speak something.

"So what are you now, Super Ramsey? Picking me up in the middle of the pathway?"

"You were limping, Poo."

"You know I can manage myself just fine."

He stopped the car. The condo was still a block away.

"Why did you stop? This is not where we live. You know that."

Ethan turned towards her and caressed her cheek softly.

She melted into his touch. Her eyes closed momentarily, her beautiful eyes and alluring shadowy eyelashes reflecting the serenity her heartfelt.

"Poo. I know you are a strong, independent woman. You like to be self-dependent."

He paused a short breath. Taking her hand in his and kissing the top of it, he continued,

"But I cannot see you hurt, be it a slight limp or a broken arm. I will always take care of you."

"I know you will. You always do. But a limp, a broken arm is faint compared to what I have been through. You don't need to worry about me all the time."

"I will always worry about you."

"Eth-"

He placed a finger on her lips. "No more ifs, or buts. It is something I wanna do. Not something I have to do."

And with a look of assurance and care, Ethan started to drive again. His features were calm, his blue eyes had hues of red and golden of the traffic in front of them.

The unsaid string of words that dangled between the two of them was what had tied them together so strongly. Which made him believe she was meant to be his and her to believe that he was meant to be hers.

Pooja waited for that day, impatiently, when he would be hers and she, his. Angst in fiction was her love, but angst in her real life? Not really. At least, not with Ethan Ramsey.

Stop being melodramatic.

She snapped at herself.

It took them an additional five minutes to reach the condo. Once there, Ethan was the first one to get out of the car. Pooja followed. She stood next to Ethan, who was now taking out the pastry boxes.

His senses called out to him, informed him of her presence. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the exact spot where she stood.

Then, as if it was a second nature to him, he swept her towards him by the waist and kissed her in four steps.

First, He kissed her dimpled cheek, earning a gasp from her.

Then, he kissed her forehead and left silent praises for her heart to hear.

Third, His suck on her neck felt like the touch of a feather to her.

And Lastly, His soft pink lips meet her rosy moist ones, full of passion and a love so pure that threatened to overpower their senses.

Slowly, he turned her around in the rhythm of a dance, and hugging her from the back, he sensually pulled at the tip of her ear as his soft words warmed her heart.

"Shall we?"

Not what she wanted to hear, but the feels in her heart didn't let her feel disappointed.

"Of Course." A reply she made with an unvoiced wish that the next time he kisses her like he did today, he says those words which will make her, his forever.

PS: Here's to hoping that this was not an utter mess and you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading and have a good day ahead🧡

Tags (Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed!) :@bbrandy2002 @whimsicallywayward15 @ohramsey  @nervoussaladsludgeopera @trrfanaddict @hopelessromanticmonie @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @lovablegranny @bellcat2010 @gkittylove99 @kingliam2019 @starrystarrytrouble @3riche @chetachisblog @zoehanji @withbeautyandrage  @drariellevalentine @mvalentine ​ @aestheticartsx ​@angela8754​ @schnitzelbutterfingers ​ @ao719 ​ @choicesstan1 @neotericthemis ​ @arnikki-2406 ​ @anotherbeingsworld @maurine07 @sophxwithers @twinkleallnight

[thesunshinebunny]

Ok, imagine this. Riddle dating MC / Yuu for months, they go on little dates, some nights they sleep together, they've... you know what, and there comes a time when Riddle's mom wants to meet MC. Anyone would be afraid of the mere idea of meeting her, but MC is not a "normal person". They usually speaks their mind, no matter how cruel or naive it may sound, so they'rent afraid of Riddle's mother (1/2)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, let me tell you something, if I were going to meet that woman, I tell her IN.THE.MUTHERF*CKING.FACE what I think about her, and that I’ll going to protect Riddle with all my heart, body and soul.

Anyways……I’m being a little stressed out the last few days, and I’d a very nasty argument with my mother, so I would really appreciatte if you like this post.

*goes to a corner to cry*

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The first rays of the morning shot through Riddle's bedroom window, waking him almost instantly. His eyelids opened little by little, getting used to the sudden light that filled his room. He looked at the clock on his counter, which read half past six. There was still time to stay in bed. Besides, he was in good company and didn’t intend to remove the heat from your body so early in the morning.

Memories of the night before invaded his mind, placing a sweet and sincere smile on his lips. He hug you from behind, sticking you to his chest, and slightly hiding his head over your hair, breathing in the scent of your perfume. The scene was relaxing and Riddle wanted to stay like this all day.

But a knock on the door took him out of his reverie. He cursed under his breath, seriously considering using his unique magic and cutting off the head of whoever had deigned to disturb his tranquility. He half donned his school uniform and opened the door with an angry face, about to shout his most famous phrase, and found himself face to face with a half-asleep Trey, letter in hand.

"I'm sorry to wake you up Riddle, but this letter came for you"

He extended the letter to him, apologized again, and left to his room. Riddle closed the door slowly, careful not to wake you, and inspected the letter. He recognized the characteristic countenance of his mother. He read it reluctantly, but his eyes stopped on a sentence nearing the end.

“In your last letter you told me that you were dating someone. I want to meet them. I want you to come with your so-called partner next weekend for tea time. Don't even think about being late"

Riddle sat down on the end of the bed carefully, having an internal battle with himself. He wasn't going to be able to deny a request of that magnitude to his mother, but he knew that if she knew you ... things weren't going to turn out very well.

"I know that way of sitting, you are worried about something"

The redhead was so absorbed that he didn't notice your awakening. Your figure was half lying on the bed, with your head hanging on one side, passing your hands over your eyes as you tried to wake up fully. The sheets covered much of your skin, but not enough, exposing your bare chest. What was once concern that invaded Riddle's mind, was now reliving, again, how he made love to you last night.

"Eyes up, my rose cake"

"I'm sorry"

Riddle's cheeks turned his trademark red, but this time from embarrassment. He took a deep breath and let out a slow, tired sigh. He’s awake about ten minutes long and it seemed that he had scolded all of his residents.

"My mother sent me a letter and she’s asking me to come together for the weekend so that she can meet you"

“Is that what you're worried about? Are you afraid that she won’t approve our relationship?"

Let's be honest, inside you were screwed up to your feet. You were going to meet Riddle's mother for the first time, a completely controlling woman, a woman who wasn't going to reason so easily. It was going to be daring to talk to her, but not an impossible mission.

"I know my mother is a difficult woman to reason with, what I'm afraid of is ..."

"That I say something out of place or make her angry and we end up shitting each other like we were at a Batlle Royal?"

It wasn't necessary for Riddle to open his mouth, in his gaze you could already find the answer to your question. You spread your arms, inviting him to snuggle with you, which he gladly accepted, burying his face against your chest.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine, you know I know how to take care of myself, and if necessary I will protect you with my life"

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The weekend arrived. Riddle and you were walking down one of the many cobbled streets of the Rose Kingdom, in the distance you could make out a large and beautiful house, decorated by large vines of red and white roses. Needless to say, this was Riddle's house.

"If you need more time to put your ideas in order, we can take a walk"

You could see out of the corner of your eye as Riddle stared at the silhouette of his house on the horizon. His grip grew stronger with each step you took and you could feel the vein in his temple twitch from stress.

"We would be late"

"So? Your mental health is more important than being late for a meeting that we both know is giving you a lot of stress” 

You stopped in your tracks and pulled Riddle towards you, capturing his face in your hands. You gave him a sweet smile, full of compassion and empathy; You knew this wasn’t going to be easy, not for you or for Riddle, and that he was going to need all the help in the world.

"I need you to calm down, if you cannot appear in front of your mother it’s completely valid and she must understand it at some point"

Riddle didn't say anything, he just took your hand over his and kept walking, but not before returning the smile.

When they finally reached the portal of his house, you noticed how his hand shook when he wanted to ring the bell. You placed your hand on his and both were present with the noise of the doorbell. The seconds of waiting became eternal, both had to seek comfort in the other, admiring the outfit you both were wearing and telling each other that you were very handsome and that neither was breaking the dress codes of the house. When you heard the footsteps behind the door approach, both stopped in their tracks what you were doing.

"Welcome home Riddle, on time as always"

Mrs. Rosehearts prevailed the moment she opened the door of her home. If it wasn’t for your countenance and clear conscience, you might even have become a little scared. Just a little.

"You must be (Y/N)"

"Hi, I'm (Y/N) (S/N), nice to meet you Mrs. Rosehearts" You extended your hand politely, naively hoping that she would return your greeting. Long and uncomfortable seconds passed, Riddle's mother refused to shake her hand; she just looked at you with contempt. After about 10 endless seconds you removed your hand.

"I think not"

"Come inside, before someone sees the hideous clothes you are wearing" The lady took a step back, surprisingly in order to let them both pass. Weird that she didn’t slammed the door in your face considering the contempt that overflowed from her being.

"Oh, I think we are both very cute, even the colors are the same as the Queen of Hearts"

You walked in holding Riddle's hand with a calm smile, but the same couldn't be said for the redhead. He seemed more restless and very pale, you were afraid that at any moment he would faint from the pressure that his mother was generating. The three of you sat down at the large table in the living room, on which were placed three cups of chamomile-scented tea, and in front of you a piece of strawberry cake.

“I'm going to get straight to the point, why do you think you have the right to go out with my son? Do you have an interesting and powerful unique magic?"

"Oh no ma'am, I have no magic" Without hesitation, you grabbed the fork next to the cake and cut a piece, without looking at the lady who was about to release smoke from her ears.

"Pardon me?"

"You heard well, ma'am, I don't have any spark of magic in my being, and I'm going to a wizarding school ... ironic isn't it?"

You cut another piece of cake, setting a strawberry aside, savoring the fluffy and creamy filling. You poked the strawberry and set the fork in front of Riddle, patiently waiting for him to eat it. You noticed how his eyes fixed on his mother's, restlessness and nervousness still present in them. You didn't need to turn your head, you knew his mother was looking at him disapprovingly, but you didn’t put it away. You placed your other hand over Riddle's, encouraging him to eat the strawberry, and to your surprise and his mother's, he took the fruit into his mouth in one bite.

"I didn't have to tell you not to eat the strawberry and you still disobeyed me, Riddle"

"I don’t want to sound rude, ma'am, but Riddle likes strawberries a lot and if he eats one or a couple it's not going to hurt him." You grabbed another strawberry from the cake and fed it to Riddle, who now didn’t hesitate for a second to bite it.

"Riddle, go to the kitchen and make more tea. Now."

The redhead couldn’t deny the insistent look of his mother, accepting without question the order he gave her. When he got up, he fixed her gaze on yours, moving her lips almost imperceptibly: "behave" to which you replied with "I am" 

Next act, Riddle disappeared when crossing the threshold of the living room.

“Since you seem so wise, tell me the following, are your grades exceptional? Since you’re magicless, making you almost useless in this world, at least you dedicate yourself to study "

"Oh no ma'am, my grades are average, and I barely get a 70"

Already the lady was red as a tomato, about to foam from her mouth. It was like seeing a copy of Riddle in a female version.

“Are you telling me that my son is dating someone without magic and completely stupid? I can't believe it, Riddle couldn't choose a more useless perso "

"Considering that I come from another world, and I have instilled its own history, sociology and politics, I would be learning everything again, like a newborn baby"

"From another world?"

You put the fork on the plate, finishing the cake with great happiness and you looked at the woman in front of you, whose face is now pale and with noticeable confusion.

“That's right ma'am, I'm not from Twisted Wonderland, I come from another world. And as I said before, consider me a newborn baby, I have to learn a history and subjects that in my world we don't have. I learn new things every day and I dedicate myself to studying the best I can, I have been at NRC for more than a semester and I am making incredible progress according to the teachers. Therefore, having an average of 70 in a person like me would be more than acceptable, don't you think? "

For a moment your eyes were fixed on the figure of Riddle, who was still making the tea, and you decided to get up from the table and keep him company, leaving his mother drinking what little was left of her tea. Perhaps a moment alone would make her reflect on the revelation you threw her like a bucket of cold water in the middle of winter.

"Do you need help darling?" You appeared behind him, running your hands around his waist, conveying a little peace to him.

"No, it is not necessary" his hands were shaking, it was obvious that he needed help, but his pride would not leave him.

"Riddle ... let me make my flower tea." Your comment distracted him, causing him to almost spill the chamomile water he was preparing.

His gaze conveyed insecurity and fear. He knew you were about to break a rule, and that it was not the best option to anger his mother more than she already was. Without saying a word, you took the cup of chamomile water in your hands and proceeded to look for small dried flowers in the kitchen. Before Riddle knew it, a new tea was ready to be served and the guinea pig was going to be nothing more and nothing less than his mother.

"Sorry for the delay, ma'am, but here's your tea" The woman looked at her infusion with reluctance, on the point of beheading you.

"Queen's Rule n ° 529-"

"One should have a chamomile tea with a sugar cube for tea time on weekends ... I know the rule"

"Even knowing it, you decide to break it, if I had enough power, it would cut off your head"

You sat across from her with a sly smile from ear to ear. You were walking the tightrope, at any moment you would fall or it would be cut, but you wouldn’t leave without fighting a good fight. This meeting was coming to an end.

“I think it would be better for you to drink the tea that I kindly prepared for you before drawing absurd conclusions. After all, it is one of the specialties of my world, I doubt that I will ever have another opportunity to have tea like this"

Your gaze now was the one that penetrated the environment. You didn't take your eyes off hers, forcing her to drink her bloody tea. When her lips touched the teacup, both you and Riddle were crossing your fingers internally.

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After a couple of hours having a normal conversation, it was time to go back to school. Riddle was saying goodbye to his mother and you’re about to walk the streets again when his mother called out to you. You turned your head, expecting a new derogatory comment, but what she said next surprised you.

“I still don't approve this relationship… but I can't deny the fact that you have potential. Don't make me regret giving you a chance"

And with that phrase she slammed the door of his house.

"Ok, thanks ... I guess"

You took Riddle's hand for the last time in the afternoon and both started walking. The queen was finally able to breathe a long breath and release the stress and anguish that he had been accumulating all afternoon.

"Well ... it could have been worse"

"Yes I think so"

You stopped short, pulling Riddle towards you and wrapping your arms around his neck. You settled your forehead on his and gave him a sweet smile which he returned with the same sweetness. His hands settled on your waist and caressed you slowly, generating butterflies on your belly.

"You could have behaved better, my mother was about to behead you"

"If I had behaved better, we wouldn’t have managed to convince your mother to give our relationship a chance." You kissed him on the nose playfully.

"Now let's go back, I have a gift back at school that you will surely like"

His smile turned into a mischievous one, unable to retain the little patience to know his gift.

"Oh yeah? And what is it about if I may know?"

"Mmm ... I got a new corset with white floral details painted red"

His grip on your waist grew stronger, pulling you to his chest and stealing a fleeting but passionate kiss.

"I knew you would like ... now come on, I don't want to make you wait"

[lastxviolet]

In Neglected Fields, the Fern Grows -Ch. 2

Fred Weasley x OC

4,447 k

Ch. 2 / 10

Warnings: NSFW!! Slight Dom!Fred, touching, grinding, cursing, begging, dirty talk, slight degradation

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13829826/1/In-Neglected-Fields-the-Fern-Grows

____________________________________

Fern woke the next morning to her roommate's frantic reminders about class. She groaned, peeling herself from the warm navy sheets, and joined Daisy, getting ready for the full day of arbitrary, seemingly endless classes.

It wasn't that she was bad at school as far as grades and accomplishments went, but rather, she felt like she'd never really caught her stride. Even now, in her last year of school, there was no rhythm. She was always running around like a chicken with its head cut off, finishing papers, apologizing to professors, and begging her peers for answers. Her brand of schoolwork had paid off, seeing as she'd got a majority of Outstanding grades on her O.W.L's and felt relatively prepared for the N.E.W.T exam in a few months. But now that she was nearing the end of her time in school, she wondered if it would've been less of an effort and time commitment to just do the work as assigned in a timely fashion.

It was noon before she had time to catch her breath and think of something other than school. Lunch was a welcome sight as she walked into the Great Hall but before she could enjoy the moment, she caught sight of her younger brother sitting alone, and her frustration and curiosity from last night were reignited.

"Nev," she announced, sitting down across from him.

"Fern," he muttered in a tempered tone.

She exhaled and rolled her eyes at his mood.

"I'm not cross at you," she noted, eyeing him the best she could from over the book he was buried in.

"That's good. You've no reason to be."

She stared down at the food between them. Every year the quiet, timid kid she'd had to bribe to try and make friends at school became more and more outgoing, outspoken, bold….more of a Gryffindor.

"You're not going to tell me about last night, are you?"

"I…I already have and it's your fault if you don't believe me."

"Bloody hell," she hissed under her breath. "Fine, I believe you, are you happy now?"

He brought his book down an inch and finally made eye contact. She knew he wasn't perceptive enough to realize she was lying, and still incredibly suspicious of him and his whereabouts but decided that it would be better to actually have some evidence before she started accusing him of anything.

"You do?"

"Yes, yes," she reassured him. "I'm sorry, I was just tired and annoyed that I had to do rounds."

"Oh," he mused, dropping his book fully. "Are you sleeping alright? I could give you some Valerian root to chew on before bed it's…usually…Fern?"

His voice tapered off but she wasn't even listening. Neville's right hand, splayed out on the cover of his book, was cracked with a deep vernacular wound, still pink from a recent infliction. She stared in horror at his bloodied hand and reached across the table to seize his wrist.

"Neville," she hissed, harshly.

He tried to pull away but she was faster and stronger.

"When did this happen?"

"It's…it's nothing. Only one detention," he stuttered, eyeing the rest of the table in embarrassment. "Just got unlucky s'all."

Her angrily pounding heartbeat drowned out the rest of the noise from the lunch rush. He was lying to her, again. Her mind raced with all the things that he could be doing out and about with the twins but seriously doubted that any of them would improve his chances at staying unharmed at the hands of Umbridge.

"I'll give you one chance to tell me who you were with."

Neville opened and closed his mouth as if he was trying to think of a lie or an argument before finally pressing his lips into a reserved line.

"Fern, please, they're my friends," he pleaded. "I know you don't like them but—"

"Friends don't get friends into this kind of trouble, Nev!"

"They don't get me into anything…I'm as much a part of the trouble as they are," he insisted, shaking off her grip and standing up to leave.

"You can't expect me to just let you get hurt like this if Gran knew —"

"Don't…don't use that against me…like you always do," he whispered with a harsh glare. "I know what I'm doing."

She craned her neck to stare at him in disbelief, acutely aware of how tall he'd gotten.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," she pleaded, taking extra care to sound less accusatory, in the hopes that he would see her as less of a threat. "I'm only trying to help."

"No, you're not," he countered as harshly as he could, even though it was still relatively tame. "You hate that I am doing something without getting your permission first. I don't need help, Fern. Just leave it alone…please."

She squinted her eyes but remained silent, letting the not so timid boy trudge off without her ripping him to shreds.

In all her years of knowing him, he'd never dismissed her like this. He was a sweet, shy boy who put his family above everything else. There was no way that he would hold some prank or hi-jinx to such high regard…without some kind of influence. She glanced down at the Gryffindor table and caught sight of Harry Potter leaning down to whisper something to one of the twins, who in turn, leaned across the table to repeat it to Pavarti Patil and Lavender Brown. She rolled her eyes at their obviousness. If Padma was involved, of course, her sister would be too. And if Harry was involved, then it was certainly no good at all.

The weather for the rest of the afternoon and evening mimicked her mood. The rain of late fall was neither refreshing nor relaxing. It smelled of winter, and brought with it, frozen winds and only a taste of what was to come in the winter months.

Fern pressed her forehead to one of the tall windows in the Ravenclaw common room and contemplated how much the near-freezing droplets would hurt her bare skin. It was coming down pretty hard so there was a good chance it'd leave her burning, but no doubt, she'd catch a nasty cold. She glanced away from the moonlit grounds down below and failed at taking interest in the abandoned book in her lap. Despite trying, she hadn't been able to tear her thoughts from the interaction with Neville from earlier in the day. He'd never really been a serious boy, even when they were little, but today, he'd been uncharacteristically stern. It'd been enough to make her at least consider that the right thing to do would be to accept his wishes and leave him alone but the image of his bloodied hand was making her sick to her stomach. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was in over his head. He had a habit of being blind to the obviousness of his circumstance and acting without plan or consideration of pros and cons. Some called it bravery, and his house prided themselves on being collectively blind, but she knew what it was - stupidity. She'd never understood the appreciation that others had for the first person willing to risk their neck despite the risk.

She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against the glass again. It was sharp, cold, and just enough to bring her sense to life for a few seconds. The minimal chatter around her in the darkened common room disappeared beneath the roaring storm outside. She wanted to go and stake out the seventh-floor hallway. Admittedly, it was overbearing, and would probably instigate more problems between her and Neville than answers but she couldn't fight off the feeling. Before she could find her common sense, her feet were moving towards the tower exit.

The castle thundered underneath the storm and drowned out her footsteps on the moving staircase. She held her breath as she entered the seventh floor and walked swiftly against the stone wall to stay hidden. For a touch more secrecy, and perhaps a flair for the dramatics, she extinguished the fireplace, and torches with a flick of her hand and waited in the shadows.

It was nearly half an hour later when she sunk to the floor and sat on the cold, dark floor and an hour after that when she nearly gave up.

There was no sign of anyone, until, she heard the faintest sound of a door closing somewhere behind the stone pillar to her right. She held her breath and listened to the lumbering steps as they came around the corner, again, from the direction of the astronomy towner. She smirked as the thunder reminded her that Astronomy was an impossible excuse tonight.

What happened next was the convergence of three terrible things at once.

She revealed herself from the shadows and came face to face with Fred Weasley, who looked surprised by her presence for a mere second before looking decidedly more put out by something over her head.

She turned to see what was more important than her obvious gotcha moment but her excitement turned to despair as a pink figure stood at the top of the steps. Umbridge waved her hand, igniting the hallway to reveal her standing a little too close to the troublesome twin. She knew how it looked before Umbridge even opened her mouth.

"Boys and girls are to be more than eight inches apart," she giggled. "Ms. Longbottom…Mr. Weasley, I am sure that you're aware of this rule."

She frantically glanced at Fred in hopes that he would tell the truth but he took a step closer and snaked his arm around her waist.

"Eight inches, professor," he cooed, pulling her tight. "How'd you know?"

Fern's eyes went wide at his obvious attempt to anger the already unhinged woman.

"No, professor," she hissed, pushing him off of her. "It isn't like that —"

The woman clicked her tongue and held up a hand to silence her.

"Detention for the both of you," she warned, oozing with pep.

She turned her head frantically to Fred again who was looking quite content with a wicked smile on his face.

"Professor, please," she pleaded, trying to make it sound like less of a beg.

"Enough," the woman shrieked. "Detention tomorrow evening. Now, off you go."

Without another word, the woman disappeared back down the stairs. She stared at the doorway in shock before wheeling around to confront Fred.

"Godric that woman…Ah well, what's another one, right, Longbottom?"

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Another one? I've never had a detention before, you prick. Let alone, one of Umbridge's."

"Oh, well it's not so bad," he assured her, bringing a hand out of his pocket. "There's a bit of scarring but it doesn't hurt for too long."

She looked down at his hand and let the air be sucked out of her lungs. It was the same writing as Nevilles.

"I'm not upset about the pain you imbecile, I'm upset because I have to go in the first place and it's your fault!"

He leaned against the pillar next to them and stared down at her with a curious look on his face.

"My fault?"

"Yes, your fault," she hissed. "Like always." Of course, he would deny it, she thought.

Her accusatory words seemed to have the smallest effect on him as he rolled his eyes and scoffed at her.

"How?"

"Who else's fault could it possibly be, Weasley?"

"Oh, marvelous question, here's a thought, and it is just a first draft theory so do be gentle, but yourself? You were out frolicking, just like me, and therefore, bound to get caught with or without me," he explained through gritted teeth.

She shook her head and gave him a look of disbelief. They might have gotten off if he hadn't felt the urge to be such a smart ass, how could he not see that?

"I was not frolicking," she huffed. "The only reason I'm even up here is that I have to make sure that you, don't corrupt my brother. Thusly, your fault."

"I'm corrupting your brother," he repeated in disbelief.

"Yes."

"This might shock you but he is perfectly capable of getting into trouble all on his own."

"Only because he's been hanging around the likes of you for far too long!"

He squinted his eyes at her and leaned forward. She wouldn't let him use his size to intimidate her so she stayed put and furrowed her brow back.

"The likes of me? What is wrong with you?"

"You think there's something wrong with me?"

Fred scoffed and tipped his head back, closing his eyes in the process. "I think there are a whole lot of things wrong with you, love."

"Don't fucking call me that. I'm not one of your dumb fucking groupies, waiting patiently to be reduced to a pet name for your pleasure," she hissed, plunging a finger into his muscular chest. "Refer to me by my fucking name or don't refer to me at all, asshole."

"Bloody hell," he grumbled, returning the look of anger to his face. "Alright, I'm terribly sorry. Let me rephrase that. I think there are too many things wrong with you to count, let alone fix, Fern."

"That's big talk for a self-absorbed sociopath with pyromaniac tendencies and a severe maturity deficit!"

He looked caught off guard and brought his face down close to hers again. She stared back defiantly and let him search her eyes.

"Wow," he breathed after a moment of silence.

"Wow, what? Too many big words for you? Was poor little Freddie too focused on his tricks to pick up any comprehension skills at school? Do you need me to dumb it down?"

"If you insist, since dumb seems to come so easy for you," he retorted.

She let out a groan of frustration and dug her finger in deeper.

"You are maddening! At least I've got two brain cells to rub together. Your head is probably filled with fuck-all!"

Her voice bounced around the hallway as she stared at a wide-eyed Fred. She thought for a moment that'd she'd made a dent in his ego but his lips pulled up into an amused smirk. Her temper was usually a little more dependable than this but it was too late to go back now.

"My head," he repeated with a smile. "Hm…I'm more curious about your head."

"You're a bastard," she hissed, ignoring the heat radiating off of her face. He always reverted to perversion to throw her off guard, and unfortunately, it always worked.

"Normally you'd be right but this time, I dare say that you started it."

She glared at him and shook her head. He wasn't meant to be enjoying this. She'd hurled her best at him and it hadn't even hurt him in the slightest. Her brain told her to walk away but she stayed planted in place.

"Well, now I'm ending it. Yelling at you isn't worth the strain on my throat," she exclaimed.

His eyes flickered with even more amusement as the words left her tongue. She could've screamed with frustration when she realized what she'd said.

"Fern, darling," he cooed, leaning down further into her bubble. "I'd be more than happy to provide some strain on your throat. Just say the word."

"Fuck you."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," he sighed, shaking his head. "A high-strung, good girl like you shouldn't have such a colorful vocabulary."

"My choice of words is no concern of yours," she blurted, internally cringing as she sounded like a child having a tantrum. It was difficult to admit to herself, but it seemed as though he had the upper hand.

"Well I didn't hear a single curse in that," he cooed, smirking devilishly. "Go on, don't be shy now, please continue your onslaught of obscenities. I'm a big boy, so I can take it, not like the posh blokes of Ravenclaw."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "You don't get to talk down on anyone and you don't get to tell me what to do."

"I'm not, Fern, if you were as perceptive as you pretend to be, you'd have realized that I'm asking nicely. Can you do that for me, love?"

"Don't fucking call me that," she hissed, pressing her whole hand against his chest to keep him at a distance.

"There it is. Anything else, darling?"

"You're a prick."

He threw his head back in a laugh. "You sure I'm not a fucking prick?"

His tone made her blood boil. How had getting detention come to this? How had she let him weasel his way underneath her skin? She momentarily thought of the wand in her pocket but knew that he'd be falser than that.

"So now you're making fun of me?"

"No, I've just always found you very curious," he said, leaning into her hand. "Tell me something, Fern. Are curse words the only improper thing you do? Is everything else pressed skirts and studies? Do nasty words fill the void that a life without excitement has left you with?"

She looked at him like he'd slapped her straight across the face. This conversation was going to get her no closer to figuring out the Neville mystery, but now it didn't matter. She was going to finish her feud with the intolerable twin, showing him once and for all, she was not a woman to be reckoned with.

"For fucks sake, how do you stand yourself? The melodramatic attitude must be exhausting. A life without excitement? That's really what you want to go with?"

"I call it as I see it," he barked confidently with a smile.

She couldn't believe that he was actually lecturing her about the philosophy of life when he had next to nothing figured out.

"So, what, to lead a life worth living I'm supposed to torture my peers without a care in the world? I'd hardly call being a nuisance to everyone I come in contact with, exciting."

A flicker of anger crossed his face. She tried not to make it intimidate her but he caught her wrist and yanked her hand away, pinning it to her shoulder.

"At least it's something," he growled.

"Yeah, a thorn in everyone's side!"

His damn of self-control broke and he shook her arm violently.

"Then you're a fucking raincloud! Godric, how do you not see that you suck the life out of every room you're in? At least I break even with smiles but you? You're basically a Umbridge in training with your prim and proper attitude and delusions of order! It's fucking boring! YOU are fucking boring and I — "

Without another thought, she closed her eyes, brought her other hand back, balled in into a fist, and swung.

She felt her knuckles make contact with his ridiculously shaped nose and opened her eyes in time to see his eyes ablaze with anger.

"Fucking, shit," he bellowed. "Ow!"

"How's that for boring?" She yelled at his scrunched face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The words tipped her over the edge and she slung her fist at him again, this time catching his arm. It barely seemed enough to catch his attention so she let it all out. Every frustration, fear, anger; came out in punches, kicks, and slaps, all aimed at the very tall redhead who had his back up against the pillar.

"You're fucking mental," he roared, seizing both of her wrists and turning them around so that she had her back to the stone.

"Fuck you," she yelled.

"Stop kicking me you wretch of a woman, bloody hell!"

"You can't hurt my feelings, dumb fuck," she bellowed back, as he yanked her wrists above her head so that she couldn't break free and used his weight to stop her from moving. "There's nothing you can say to me that I haven't already said to myself a million times."

The words registered in her mind the same moment they escaped her mouth. It was the truth, but she'd never said it out loud or even acknowledged it herself. She did in fact sling evil sentiments at the abyss in her self but for some odd reason, they'd never made a dent. Fred's words, however, didn't hurt in the slightest. On the contrary really; they ignited her.

He snarled at her words and held her still. Her heart beat so fast she thought she might pass out. She met his eyes finally and watched him digest what she'd said. He looked surprised. She couldn't blame him of course, she hadn't ever meant to say it out loud, let alone to someone she hated. She expected him to drop her, and leave because of the suddenly serious, uncomfortable topic of conversation but his face did something she didn't expect. He moved closer with a look of curiosity.

"Go on, try," she whispered, daring him despite her nerves. "I know you want to. I give you detentions, I confiscate your products, I target the rest of your family too because you're all fucking annoying —"

"Fuck you," he hissed.

"Fuck you too."

He glanced down at her lips as she spoke and held her tighter.

"You're a fucking bitch," he whispered, eyeing her with wary.

She threw her head back into a sharp cackle. "Is that all you've got?"

He snarled at her flippant attitude and brought one hand down to hold her throat while the other kept her hands above her head, scraping her knuckles against the stone in glorious agony.

"Shut the fuck up you insufferable, uptight swot," he purred angrily.

Her eyes went wide and she saw a flash of regret cross his face.

"Bloody hell…I…" he stammered, easing up on her restraints.

"What else," she croaked from beneath his grip. The words, his seething presence, and the painful embrace pumped adrenaline into her veins and an inexplicable hunger into her throat. The thought of him fighting off hatred to be close to her set her chest ablaze.

His eyes snapped back to hers. She was daring him, goading him, perhaps even begging him to continue. It was dramatic but she thought that she might die if he stopped now.

"I've always thought that you were an evil bitch, you know that?"

"I know," she whispered. His chest rose and fell rapidly making his breath heating her face with every puff.

"But now," he murmured low and slow, increasing the pressure against her throat. "I think you're desperate."

Her eyes went wide and he inched closer.

"A needy, desperate, good girl…with a dirty fucking mouth."

"Yes," she moaned.

His eyes went wide again, clearly surprised by her sensual reaction but he didn't move away.

"Bloody hell," he whispered. "You like this, don't you?"

He didn't give her a chance to answer and pressed himself up against her with a force that made her spread her legs to make room for his extended knee. It brushed against her gloriously, fanning the flames that were already ablaze. She could see the same soft unexpected look in him that she felt herself. He hadn't known that he would like it either. Just as she wondered if he was feeling an ounce of what she was, she felt growth in his pants.

"You like it….so you're a fucking whore, too. Aren't you?"

She whimpered and slid down the wall a little until she could press harder against the rough material of his pants.

"Aren't you," he whispered again, bringing his thumb up from her neck, and teasing her bottom lip. "A fucking whore."

She opened her mouth in response and let him slide his finger up her tongue and back out, smearing her lips with spit.

"Yes, yes…fuck," she whispered.

"Shut the fuck up," he grunted, gripping her chin so that she had to tilt her head further back to look up at him. "I don't want to hear that word from your mouth ever again."

She swallowed hard. He looked down at her with a serious look but his eyes were on fire. She glanced down at his neck, practically panting from the sight of his veins bulging from anger.

"Good girls don't curse. Do they," he asked forcefully. "Look at me when I'm fucking talking to you."

She snapped her eyes back up to his and slowly shook her head.

"No," she sighed.

"Stop. Talking," he hissed. "Let me rephrase that since you're such a fucking now it all.

My good girl doesn't curse. Does she…Fern?"

All she could do was whimper and shake her head as he slowly released her chin. It was incredible. The words seemed to pour out of him as if he'd been planning them and scratched each itch that she'd ever had.

"Good answer," he moaned, reaching over to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "She's mine. So I get to tell her what to do with her pretty little mouth…pretty little throat…and pretty little cunt."

Ferns eyes blew wide open at the last bit of the sentence and she realized that she'd been grinding against him with helpless desperation. The realization felt like a shot to the head and the fantasy was broken.

The hallway appeared behind him; they were still very much in public. Fred came into view as himself again, and not a domineering figure to fuck all of her troubles away. She bristled, acutely aware of his forceful grip. She pulled away from his grip with all her might, causing him to stumble backward. His eyebrows shot up at the movement and he released her not a second later, backing away equally as shocked that they were still in the school.

She leaned against the stone trying to catch her breath, and find her footing again as they stared at each other. Fred Weasley had called her many things in the past, and she guessed that maybe they'd always stoked the fire in her chest but this was…something else. She could tell that if she didn't leave now, it'd become an incurable hunger, which she could not afford, especially with him.

"Fuck…Fern….I'm sorry I —"

"Stop," she whispered, talking a step around him, towards the moving staircase. "Just…stop."

"Fern," he said, matching her stride, trying to catch up. "I'm sorry —I didn't mean —I thought that —"

"Just stop," she bellowed, halting him with her voice. "I…I have to go."

He looked at her, stunned, and disheveled but didn't move another inch as she made it to the door and took one last look at him before sprinting down the stairs.

[imaginethatneathuh]

The Hanged Man: Mad Sweeney - American Gods

Mad Sweeney x friend!reader, platonic

Sweeney comes to you for a chat and you give him a wake up call.

Part of @dragon430′s Tarot Card Challenge, editing by her as well.

Requested by Anon -  Can you do a Mad Sweeney using The Hanged Man?

CW: Disillusionment, maybe some hints at depression, and mentions of death.

Word count: 1.4+ K

The town and bar are real places in Michigan. If you ever get the chance and are in Michigan, stop by the place. The food’s good and the people are cool.

•

Slow days were pretty common on weekdays. Any bartender worth their shoulder towel can tell you that. Compared to Fridays and Saturdays, the rest of the week, especially where you worked, were slower than molasses going uphill in winter.

Working at a bar in small towns is either Hell on Earth because it’s pretty much the only place around, or it’s Heaven on Earth ‘cause the town is so small. Your place, the North Bar, was a small, albeit popular, place in a village nestled in a valley. Every major place was on one street right through the middle. Like something out of an Old Western movie, but that’s just how small towns are. The North Bar got busy some nights and not so much on others. Best food around (not that that is saying much), and everyone makes sure that there is something to do, like Karaoke nights, corn hole tournaments, or pool. There’s always something, even if it’s not fun or popular with people.

A cousin of yours called your little town the “Lakeside of Michigan”. You couldn’t say whether or not that was true, but you preferred to call Lakeside the “Luther of Wisconsin”.

You wiped some crumbs into a trash bin as you cleaned a table. The Lunch “Rush” was over, and no one but you, the regulars like Chuck, and the other employees were here. It’s not like there were many of you, just one or two servers, the cook, dishwasher, and another bartender. Plus the owner, but she was busy in the back.

Good ole Chuck mulled about in a drunken state before sitting at the bar. You tossed your towel over your shoulder and shook your head.

“Come on, Chuckie boy. I think it’s about time you head on home now. You’ve been here since we opened and had plenty,” you said.

The old, balding man grumbled.

“Don’t make me call your daughter.” You crossed your arms. “Cause I can, and I will.”

He muttered som protests but after a hard glare from you, he stumbled up and out.

It’s not like you wanted to kick him out, but, hey, last time you let him drink to his heart's desire, you ended up having to call the Sheriff. You liked Chuck too much to let him spend any more time down at the jailhouse. He’d come back later anyway.

As you got back behind the counter, the other bartender, Joan, nudged you.

“Can I take off? You ain’t gonna need me here till later, anyway,” she said, gesturing to the now dead bar.

You shrugged. “Sure. I ain’t gotta problem with that.”

“Thanks!”

Once upon a time, you were much like Joan, ready to get the fuck out as soon as you could. Nowadays, it wasn’t too much like that. To you, there wasn’t a point in running off seeing as how, from all the years you’d been working, things never changed. Well, not for the town anyway. For you? You lost that enthusiasm that Joan had. Wasn’t the big of a loss anyway.

You’d been working here since before the North Bar had changed hands. Hell, you’d been here since the place was first takin’ root. And before it, you worked at the Grocers. And before that, at the wood mill. Course, if anyone asked, you’d say it was your ancestors who’d gone and done all that. You took after your cousin like that.

Because you’d worked here so long, you were the de facto boss, especially when the owner wasn’t around or too busy. But even she referred to you when things were going nuts. She frequently asked you for advice, and you were happy to give it.

As Joan went to clock out and leave, a man entered your bar.

With just a look, you knew he wasn’t from here. You knew everyone in town, and he, sure as Hell, Michigan, wasn’t one of them. From the smell and the feel of the mountain of a man, you knew he wasn’t human either. After a look over, you recognized the pesky Leprechaun.

“Sweeney, you’d better not drink me out of my liquor, ya hear?” You growled, scowling at him.

The Leprechaun sat at the bar, the stool groaning beneath him. “Just because ‘a that, I think I might.”

You glared at him, arms crossed.

“Southern Comfort ‘n Coke,” he said. The redhead stretched and sighed. “Been stuck in that fuckin’ car too long. Damn thing’s got me all stiff.”

As you got him his drink, you rolled your eyes. “Try being smaller. That might help.”

It was his turn to glare at you. The tree of a man never really cared for your sarcasm.

“What are you doing here, Sweeney? This place is too outta the way, too ‘blink, and you’ll miss it’ for you to be here on accident.”

He leant against the wooden bar and rubbed his neck, groaning. “It took me fuckin’ ages to get ‘ere. Drove right past it more times than I can count. The place is fuckin’ invisible. Fuckin’ villages, I swear. Shite’s the worst.”

You slammed your fist down, the liquid in Sweeney’s glass jumping and spilling over the side. “What. The fuck. Are you doing here? I will not ask again.” You stared at him, scowling, with both hands on the bar top.

He held your stare. “You’re the only one I could think of to talk to, Y/N. You know things. Understand things. Things I can’t.”

Sighing, you straightened. “I’m a bartender. That’s our little slice of magic even in a world without it.”

Sweeney nodded slowly.

“What do you need to get out?”

You were a bartender. Everyone talked to you about everything. From marriage disputes to petty arguments, everything found its way to you eventually. When people needed an ear and advice, the people of Luther’s first thought was you. Just like Sweeney and others like him.

You supplied the drink as Sweeney talked. And, boy, oh boy, did he talk. His pain never seemed to end, and he never let up to let you say anything. Which was fine by you. Sometimes, people just needed an ear to rant into.

The Leprechaun started to slow in his ranting.

“I’m stuck, Y/N. So fuckin’ stuck,” he said. “I can’t stay ‘ere. It’ll drive me madder than I already am. But, I don’t know where else ta be or ta go. The bar life, the fightin’ life, it’s all I know. Everythin’ else is a blur. It’s not like I can leave the States either. I’m stuck ‘ere, in this rut, and it feels like if I move, I die.”

You nodded quietly and poured him another drink. “Then die.”

The Mad King looked at you.

You shrugged. “It’s better to die living than live already dead.” You pointed to the door, liquor bottle in your hand. “I seen too many folk come through my doors living like the dead do, same thing every day. They ne’er change and ne’er want to. Sometimes, I get them to live just a little with a game or two of pool or corn hole. Sometimes I even get people to play Euchre. Maybe some songs to lighten their mood and food to heavy their stomach, but ne’er for long. Some live like the dead, and some die living. Some live life, some don’t. I’d rather die living fully than live like I’m already dead. Maybe you should try it.”

He took in your words. Slowly, but he got there. Eventually. “Then why do ya stay here?” He asked.

You blinked in surprise at his question. It was true. You walked through those doors every day doing the same thing every single goddamn day, only sometimes changing it up. You lived like most of the folk ‘round here, but you always explained it away as: “They need me,” you said, shrugging it off.

Sweeney finished his last glass in one gulp before setting it down with a thud. “Seems to me, you need them more.”

They worshipped you just like your cousin’s town worshipped him. Albeit in different ways, but still. It wasn’t like you made this town or anything, but you had lent a helping hand. Their worship kept you alive. Of course, you needed them more.

He stood to leave, but first, he leant over the bar and said, “Thanks for the chat. It helped.”

You nodded as the redhead left. Quietly, you hoped you would never see him again.

You would, eventually, much to your chagrin.

[tsarisfanfiction]

In Your Shadow

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Gen Genre: Family Characters: Gordon, Scott

Random thing that wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it, so here it is.  Missed half a very important meeting because I lost track of time writing this, whoops...  More Scott&Gordon because I will die on this hill.

“Tomorrow, they’re not gonna say ‘that’s Gordon Tracy, the Olympic Champion!’  Tomorrow, they’re gonna say ‘that’s Scott Tracy’s little brother!’, and I’m gonna say ‘damn straight I am.’”

The lights were off in his brother’s room, but that meant nothing.  Scott had been sent to bed by the combined parental force of Grandma and Dad, and Gordon knew for a fact that John had been recruited to freeze all his electronics to make sure he didn’t sit up doing something all night instead of sleeping.  So, if Gordon didn’t miss his guess, Scott was going to be staying up all night doing nothing, just staring blankly at the ceiling, the wall, the view out the window, and working himself up about tomorrow.

There had been straws pulled between them to decide behind Dad’s back who went in and knocked some sense into him.  Gordon won. Gordon may have rigged the whole thing, but Virgil’s suspicious brown eyes could prove nothing.  This was something he needed to do.

Sure enough, as he slunk into the room, door shutting silently behind him (he’d had years of practice on that one), the body on the bed first rolled over, then sat up as Scott identified him in the dark (Scott had had years of practice at that).

“Gordon?  Is something wrong?”

And still he worried before being suspicious.  Any of his other brothers would be looking for the prank right about now, but Scott’s default would always be concern for him before concern to himself.  Gordon rolled his eyes and padded silently over to the bed, poking Scott until he moved over.  He did, arm shooting out to wrap around his shoulders the way he always did when Gordon had a nightmare.

Gordon was man enough to admit that the last time wasn’t as long ago as maybe people thought, but that wasn’t the reason tonight and he dodged the arm, catching it and using the opportunity of catching Scott off guard to roll his brother over onto his side.

“Gordon?”

Before he could roll back, Gordon dove onto the bed, wedging himself behind him and wrapping his arms around his biggest brother tightly, burying his face in the back of Scott’s neck and feeling his brother tense up.

“Gordon, what’s wrong?”

“Hey, Scott,” he started, voice still low so no Dad or Grandma caught him – there may have been some implications that all of them were to leave Scott alone tonight – even though John was supposedly running interference to make sure they didn’t. “When did you last celebrate your own achievements?”

The concerned set of his brother’s shoulders gave way to a confused one instead.  “What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t remember so much as a graduation party when you finished college,” Gordon pointed out. He didn’t mention the medals, locked away in storage where Scott refused to look at them.  Those didn’t count.

Scott didn’t answer, and Gordon decided against voicing the observation that Scott hadn’t celebrated any of his own achievements since the Zero-X.  This would be the first one, and he was all too aware that the only reason Scott wasn’t ducking out of it was because Dad wouldn’t let him.

“John had one,” he said instead.  “You didn’t let him escape it.”

“John graduated early with the highest grades in the university’s history,” Scott pointed out, and Gordon huffed.

“And you were top of your class.”  He’d checked the records before coming in.  “How did you even talk Grandma out of it?”

“What are you trying to say, Gordon?”  That was a non-answer if ever he heard one.  Gordon squinted at the back of his brother’s neck but let it slide.  For now.

“John’s graduations,” he started.  “John’s books.  Virgil’s graduation.  Virgil’s art shows and piano recitals.  My acceptance into WASP.  My medals. Alan’s everything.”  There had been a lot of parties for the youngest – getting his pilot’s license, youngest astronaut in history, anything Scott could remotely justify.  “You haven’t let any of us miss a single achievement.  But yours…” he trailed off meaningfully, but Scott was still tense in his hold and didn’t say a word.

Gordon sighed.

“Your achievements matter too, bro,” he said.  “Stop skulking in the shadows and directing the limelight onto us all the time.”

Scott made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a scoff.  It sounded sad and a little pathetic.

“You guys do so much,” he said.  “I’m proud of you.  All four of you.”

Aha.

“And we’re proud of you,” Gordon retorted.  “That’s why you’re not getting out of tomorrow.”

“I didn’t even do anything,” Scott protested.  “I-” Gordon cut him off with a scoff.

“You piloted that jet.  You broke the airspeed record.  Professor Kwark is getting her dues for designing it – you know you’re not taking anything away from her achievements so stop pretending you think you are – but you piloted it.”

“Because she asked me to,” Scott pointed out, and Gordon rolled his eyes.  “She could have chosen anyone.”

“And she chose the best damn pilot in the world like a sensible woman, and don’t even try and tell me anyone else would have even been a consideration.”  Gordon jabbed him in the chest with a finger.  “Her own attempt last year ended in disaster, so she picked the most experienced high-speed pilot in the world for the next one. Sounds like a smart decision to me.” Scott was gearing up for another counter-argument; he could feel it in the way his chest tensed.  “They didn’t have to pick me for the Olympics,” he continued, switching to the reason he had absolutely rigged the straws to be the one in the room.

When it came to wrangling Scott, Virgil was definitely the most experienced, with John hot on his heels. But Virgil and John weren’t world record holders.  Gordon was.

“You were the best in the team,” Scott immediately shot back.  “They’d have been daft not to pick you.”

Exactly, but Gordon didn’t say that, just waited for Scott to realise he’d cornered himself.  It didn’t take long, shoulders slumping with a fondly exasperated sigh.

“That’s different,” Scott tried to argue.  “You still had to beat the other seven swimmers.”

“And you still had to beat the record.”  Gordon shot that argument back down.

“The jet-”

“Would not have beat the record if I was piloting it.  Hell, if Virgil was piloting it.  Even Alan’s not that good, Scott.”  He squeezed his ridiculously stubborn brother tighter, a grin slipping onto his face as Scott let out a quiet oof.  “That was all you, Scott, and I know you know it, despite what you’re trying to tell me.”

Scott didn’t say anything for several moments, and Gordon didn’t break the silence even if he pressed closer to his brother’s back.  He knew what it was like, those few hours – days, weeks, even – after breaking a world record.  The state of disbelief that he’d actually done it.  Scott had stepped out of what they had nicknamed Icarus II (not actually called that, after the original Icarus had proven too close to its namesake, but Gordon didn’t really care for the jet’s actual name) less than twenty-four hours earlier, breathing hard from the adrenaline and excitement of Mach 23.8 to congratulations and jubilation from Professor Kwark’s team and his family.  What he’d actually managed hadn’t properly sunk in yet, but the official celebrations were tomorrow, complete with paparazzi from all over the world, and Scott was doing his best to escape it.

“…Why are you here, Gordon?”

Gordon was there to tell his brother he was being an idiot, and hammer it home that they were all ridiculously proud of their big brother for doing the thing they’d always known he would one day, and convince him it was okay to be proud of himself. He didn’t say that.

Each of his brothers always required a slightly different touch, and Scott needed to be caught off-guard. The head-on approach never worked; he just headbutted it back with twice the force because he was stubborn like that. Unless you were Virgil but Virgil could just keep throwing it back again with interest until he wore him down.

So instead, Gordon plucked at a different string – one of those little things Scott thought they didn’t know about but really didn’t hide that well once you knew how to look for it. They all knew.

“You know how many people I’ve heard complain about some ‘shadow’ their older siblings cast?” he asked, rhetorically.  Scott froze so suddenly he could have sworn the temperature dropped a few degrees.  “Whining on and on about how no matter what they do, their sibling’s always there, always the one everyone sees?”

Scott seemed to be holding his breath; even pressed up against him with his arms wrapped around his chest, Gordon couldn’t feel any rise and fall.

“Well, I don’t agree with that,” he said firmly.

“What?”  He felt Scott startle, clearly not meaning to say anything but caught off-guard.

“I don’t agree,” he repeated.  “You’ve never overshadowed us.  Any of us.  John’s got the books to prove it, Virgil’s got the paintings and recitals, I’ve got a gold freaking medal.  Even Alan’s making his own name for himself in the gaming community and he’s a home-schooled kid most of the world has never seen out of uniform.”

“I-”

“How long have you been worrying about that?” Gordon asked, overriding whatever feeble attempt at disagreement Scott was about to make.  “At least since the Zero-X.  I know that for certain, but I bet it’s been longer.”

Scott didn’t answer, but he didn’t expect him to.  Scott was annoying like that – he’d say everything you didn’t want him to, and nothing that you did.  The answer was probably the first time he’d ever heard anyone mention something about an older sibling’s so-called ‘shadow’, anyway, knowing Scott.

“You know,” he said, fully aware that Scott didn’t know, because he was an idiot of a big brother who cared too much about them and not enough about himself, “sometimes I like sitting in your shadow.”  Or John’s, or Virgil’s, but this conversation wasn’t about them.

Scott’s second startle was a full-body thing, a twitch topped off with a jerk of the head, but he still didn’t say anything.

“I doubt you get it, because you don’t have a big brother, but sometimes it’s nice lurking there,” he continued.  “Here.”  He pressed up against Scott’s back again, making sure Scott couldn’t possibly miss that he was plastered against him.  “Maybe it’s because I know you’ll never try and keep me here and I can go wander into the spotlight whenever I like,” he admitted, “but I like it.  The others do, too.”  John and Virgil never left Scott’s so-called ‘shadow’ unless they had to, both content to do their own thing and let Scott handle the world while they handled Scott, and Gordon knew all four of them still found safety in their biggest brother even if they never said it in so many words.

“Gordon, what are you trying to say?” Scott asked.  He sounded genuinely confused, and Gordon swallowed another sigh, because trust Scott to be a brilliant leader and fantastic big brother but not understand just how much they appreciated him.

“I’m saying that tomorrow, they’re not gonna look at me and say ‘that’s Gordon Tracy, the Olympic Champion!’” he said bluntly.  “Tomorrow, they’re gonna look at me and say ‘that’s Scott Tracy’s little brother!’, and I’m gonna say ‘damn straight I am.’”  He grabbed a handful of Scott’s pyjamas and made a fist, right over his brother’s chest. “Because tomorrow is your day and I – we – are damn proud of you, Scott.  So don’t you dare run away from this and try and put us in the limelight instead.  Not this time.”  Not any time it was Scott’s achievement, but Gordon was well aware that was too much of a push right now.

He’d just bring out the pep talks again, and again, and again, until Scott got the message.

Scott was silent, but his breathing was steady, Gordon’s fistful of fabric rising and falling with his chest, so he waited while his brother thought it through, looking for loopholes and – hopefully – finding none.  Gordon didn’t think he’d left anything, but Scott could be slippery when he wanted to.

It was several minutes before he got a reaction, Scott making a decision like the commander he was. An arm moved, brushing against Gordon’s as it did, before a hand wrapped around his fist.  The touch was firm and warm, but not restraining or trying to pry him off.  Instead, it just stayed there, squeezing lightly before falling still.

“Thanks, Gordon.”

Victory.

“Any time, bro,” he grinned, wriggling around to get comfortable and throwing a leg over Scott’s, just because he could.  “Now get some sleep.  Big day tomorrow.”

“Voice of experience?”

“Yup.”  He popped the ‘p’ just because he could, and because it always made Scott roll his eyes.  “You’ll need all the sleep you can get.”  He kicked the covers until he could reach them with the hand not grasping his brother’s top and pulled them up.

“Aren’t you going to go back to your room?”  Scott sounded amused, with some put-on disgruntlement that Gordon ignored.

“Nah,” he dismissed, settling back down and wrapping his arm back around his brother again.  “I’m comfy now.”

Scott laughed a little. They both knew Grandma and Dad had placed a ‘do not disturb’ order on Scott and that he was at least somewhat avoiding being caught sneaking back out.  There wouldn’t be time to tell him off in the morning while they were rushing around ready for the party.

“Night, Gordon.”

“Night, big bro.”  He burrowed down against his big brother’s back and closed his eyes, content that he’d got at least somewhere in pounding some truths into Scott’s stubborn head and genuinely comfortable where he was.

Sometimes, his big brother’s shadow was his favourite place to be.

[cals-sunflower]

gonna get better (a.i)

summary: a relationship is worth way more fighting for then giving up.

-

“ashton, all i fucking asked was for you to be there! i’m basically living alone at this point. why can’t you see that i just want to spend time with you,” your voice slightly strained from yelling. this was the fourth fight that you had with ashton that week. nonstop you’ve been going at each other’s throats not caring about the words that could hurt the other.

“have you ever thought maybe i stay out with the boys because i don’t want to come home. that i’m tired of the same dumb shit,” his voice raising by the minute. your head dropped low while you nodded.

“so my feelings are dumb, huh?” the silence between you two was loud. your heart thumping against your chest. “you know that’s not what i meant or said.”

you sighed and looked at ashton who stood on the other side of the counter in the kitchen. “look maybe we should call off the-“

“don’t go there please. i don’t want to throw away our relationship because of petty arguments. i don’t regret proposing to you.”

“then what are we supposed to do ashton? we can’t keep going like this. we say words to hurt each other, we fight, and i don’t know how much more i can take.” ashton slowly walks over to you to pull you into a hug, instantly you wrap your arms around his waist.

“i think we need some time apart. then go to therapy to really work out our issues. what do you think?”

“as much as i don’t want to be separate from you, we probably should. ash i wanna get back to how our relationship used to be,” you looked up at him to see the tears in his eyes that matched yours. “me too honey, me too.”

-

your friends could tell the tension between you guys. you and ashton hadn’t told anyone in the group what was going on but it was painfully obvious. you guys no longer sat together cuddled up at hangouts, didn’t hold hands or even touch and most of all, your faces no longer held happiness instead letting the gloom take over. being away from him made it worse, he was so close yet so far.

to ash: i need you.

from ash: i’m on my way rn.

“are you okay?” upon hearing ashton’s voice, you immediately speed walk to hug him. “no, i don’t want to do the distant anymore. i need you more than ever right now,” he rubs your back letting you cry on his shoulder.

“i’m right here love,” you guys hugged for a few minutes just resting in each other’s presence and it felt good. it felt good to be near your fiancé in the most vulnerable state because clearly that was lacking.

“so what do you want to do?” he laid his hands on your cheeks, rubbing away any lose tears. “can we go to therapy together like you suggested? to really figure out what’s wrong. i missed you so much. we’re usually glued to the hip.”

“let do it. i mean it when i say i don’t want to break up over our miscommunication. you’re it for me and i missed you too.”

-

you woke up with ashton in the morning to head to the therapist. having a silent breakfast didn’t help any. it wasn’t that you felt awkward but you felt like anything could happen and next thing you know, you guys aren’t together anymore. you feared that.

“hey, you ready to go babe?” ashton’s hand rested on your back. “yeah yeah, sorry. ready when you are.”

“there’s no reason to apologize. i’m scared too if we’re being honest but we’ll never get better if we don’t get to the root of the problem.”

“i know,” you wrapped your arms around him to pull him into a hug. you hugged him as if you were gonna lose him.

-

“so what do you think actually went wrong in the relationship? y/n, you can go first.”

you let out a breath, “I feel like after he proposed, he stopped giving and putting in the effort to our relationship. it felt like he was basically saying ‘hey i got the girl. no need to do anything more’. don’t get me wrong, for the first two months it was amazing and now it just turned to shit.”

“ashton? what you feel about what y/n said?”

“i feel bad i made you feel like i don’t care. why didn’t you tell me?” you scoffed at his words.

“really ashton? i tried to tell you and you told me to fuck off.”

“i did not say fuck off, if anything i-“

“then why are we here ashton? we would not be in this mess if you would just listen to me.”

“don’t put this all on me, you’re just as guilty.”

“oh fuck you ashton, i can’t do this,” you wiped your face with the back of your hand and stood up to walk out the door. “yeah run, run like you always do.”

“me? you’re the one that pushed me away! you’re the one who refused to get vulnerable enough to talk to me.”

“i’m here aren’t i?! i’m here trying to fix what we have but look you’re running.”

“because you refuse to take any fucking responsability. do you even want to get married or did you just propose to me because you thought it would make me happy?”

the therapist didn’t know what to say, clearly there was more to it then just miscommunication. when ashton didn’t say anything, you thought you figured it out. and to be quite honest, you wanted no part in it.

“so you only proposed because you thought that would make me happy? i would have been happy without the ring ashton. i only wanted you,” you looked down at the ring before pulling it off and handing it to him.

“i can’t do this if you aren’t going to be fully in it. i love you ashton but i can’t do this. i can’t keep going with the back and forth. i guess call me when you’re ready? or not that’s up to you,” you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and walked towards the door.

ashton felt stuck, had he actually just lost possibly the best thing that happened to him. all because of his pride and he didn’t want to admit it was him out messed up. it was in fact him who pushed you away not the other way around.

-

the time you spent apart from ashton was a very hard healing process. you had to really work on your happiness again. you couldn’t stay in the house you once called home because it reminded you of ashton. it was the house you were going to build your lifes together in as one.

from crystal <3 - hey girly, me and si are gonna pick you up from work. we need a lunch date!

to crystal <3 - sounds good crys, i missed you guys :)

from crystal <3 - we missed you too lovely! can’t wait to see you

time flew by fast and before you knew it, sierra and crystal were there at your job picking you up for lunch.

“babes! c’mon we’re going to your favorite restaurant,” sierra pulled you into a hug laying a quick kiss on your cheek.

“it’s nice to see you guys too. man i missed you guys,” you pulled crystal into the hug too. you had isolated yourself from everyone in the friend group. you felt like it would hurt too much. but it’s been months since you seen them.

when you guys arrived to the restaurant, you seen all the guys but ashton sitting in the booth. you felt nervous, like you had abandoned your friends. immediately your eyes watered.

“no no, please don’t cry,” calum was the first to wrap his arms around you. “i’m so sorry.”

“there isn’t anything to be sorry for, we understand why you stayed away. it’s okay,” the other boys now joining your hug.

“i missed you guys.”

“we missed you too short stack,” you chuckled at luke’s nickname for you.

after the hug, you guys all sit down and catch up with each other. you wanted to ask where ashton was but it made you scared. scared that he moved on in those short months. scared that he didn’t want to pursue the relationship between you two again. you’d probably never be able to get over him. you’ve been together since you guys first met while they were writing youngblood.

“now, i hope you don’t mind and you can leave if you want to. but there’s someone who really wants to talk to you,” michael spoke making everyone else at the table stop talking.

“hi doll,” the voice you missed hearing. the voice to the person who has always been there for you. you turned your head and body towards ashton.

“hi ashton.”

you took the time to study his face and he did the same to you. you missed seeing his face in the morning when you woke up. the smile he gave you when you’d make breakfast together or even stay in bed.

“i’m so sorry for-“

you cut him off by hugging him and squeezing him tightly. you missed moments like this. he had really changed your life for the better and to not be with him killed you. he kissed the top of your forehead and mumbled apologies.

ashton let go of you for a moment to get on one knee like he did when he proposed to you.

“baby, i love you so much and i know i can’t ever let that love for you go. you’ve there for it all and i don’t want to let that go. i know i haven’t been the most present when i proposed.

i’m sorry i made you feel like you were alone in this. this isn’t me reproposing because i want to work on our relationship first but this my promise to you. my promise to a better person for you. my promise that you’ll never be alone again. honey i can’t do it without you. i’m sorry that i placed blame on you for my mistakes. and do not feel any pressure to take me back. it’ll hurt but i want you to be happy.

even if it’s not with me. i love you so much that-“

“you’re rambling,” you wiped your tears and kneed down to face him, “ashton irwin, i love you so fucking much and i missed you. thank you for even taking these months to figure out what you really wanted. I want to give you another shot because you really are the only one for me.”

it was like you’re friends didn’t matter in this moment, just the two of you getting lost into each other’s eyes.

“i thought you were going to move on if we’re being honest,” he wiped the stray tears from your cheeks and wiped his.

“move on from you? baby there isn’t anyone i rather be with but you. you’re my motivation. my sunshine on a cloudy day,” you chuckled at the corny words because it was your inside joke behind you two.

“i promise to communicate more and i can’t express more how sorry i really am.”

“we’re gonna okay now, right? you’re not going to isolate yourself from me again?”

“we’re gonna be okay my love. i promise to not do that to you again. and i want you to know, i proposed because i’m madly in love with you. i’m sorry i stopped putting in the effort.”

your friends felt happy for you guys. they knew how much you loved each other and couldn’t wait to see your rekindled love.

“is this the part where we kiss to seal the deal?” ashton laughed and nodded at you. he was quick to meet your lips in middle and place a kiss on them. “gosh, i missed that.”

“i missed that too sweetheart but i missed you even more,” he helped you stand up and brought you into a proper hug. you guys have a long way to go but you knew for sure that it was gonna get better from here on out.

[agerestorybits]

Looking at me

Virgil had worked too hard to be accepted like he had been to ruin it now. He had a reputation to uphold. An image that he worked too hard on to mess up. Hardcore edgy was easy to mess up. It didn’t help that Patton insisted on treating him like a kid. That did NOT help. Because...well...

He age regressed to cope with stress.

It was way too ‘cute’ and childish, if any of the others found out he had no idea what he would do. They would never take him seriously again! So when in the middle of an argument he found himself starting to slip he just...left.

He didn’t really have a choice. He claimed that he was done dealing with all the stupid and sunk out before anyone could stop him. It wasn’t the first time he had done that, but it still made him nervous that they would follow him every time.

What if Thomas called him back? Would he be able to snap out of it before everyone figured out that something was off? What if they came into his room again?

That’s why he never got dressed in one of his onesies. Despite really really wanting to wear them. Or use the pacifiers he had carefully spent hours decorating till they were just right. All used purple and black with either spiders, bats, or just cobwebs. Or cuddled with any of the stuffed animals he had hidden in the back of his closet.

No. He couldn’t let them know. Nor could he let himself ever completely regress. It had only happened a couple of times and both times he had almost been caught. He had to be careful. Still that didn’t stop him from coloring and chewing on his thumb.

There was a knock at his door. He got up from the floor and forced himself into an older headspace. More of a teen than a child, but old enough that no one would notice anything off.

“What?” He demanded opening the door.

Logan was unmoved by his hostility. “If you are not doing anything important Patton has called a family meeting.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “No thanks.”

“There will be baked goods.” Logan said.

Virgil hated that that worked. “Alright. Fine. Fifteen minutes tops.”

Logan smiled, “Don’t worry it won’t take long.”

Virgil paused at that. That was weird. Logan rarely just...smiled. Whatever they were going to talk about must have been good news.

At least he hoped it was good news.

They figured it out and they’re going to kick you out now! His brain screamed at him.

No way that was happening. He had been too careful….hadn’t he been?

He walked in and Patton was whispering something to Roman who was grinning. Ok this was starting to freak him out. He jumped up so he was sitting on the countertop. “Alright. I’m here. Start talking.” He grabbed a muffin from a tray close by.

“Well you see-” Roman started.

“We’re dating!” Patton yelled.

Virgil choked on his bite of muffin. He managed to swallow and clear his throat without dying and gasped out a rough, “What?”

Logan took a breath, “Yes. We three have entered into a relationship and wanted to inform you.”

“Cool.” was Virgil’s reply. “Was that it?”

“You are being surprisingly chill about this.” Roman said, narrowing his eyes.

Virgil rolled his, “What you three do doesn’t really matter that much to me. If anything this means you won’t be bugging me as much.”

“An...interesting way to look at it.” Logan said.

Patton was watching Virgil carefully. Virgil jumped off the counter. “Err….Congrats? I guess?”

“That wasn’t the only thing we wanted to talk about.” Roman said.

“What else is there?” Virgil asked, ready to leave. He was going to drop again soon and he needed to be in his room before that happened.

“We were.. Are worried about you. You’ve been acting...off lately.” Roman continued.

Virgil froze like a deer in headlights. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve been biting your thumb more.” Logan said.

“Your insults have gotten more childish.” Roman said.

“And you seem more on edge.” Patton said.

“That’s...nothing. Just...me being me.” Virgil excused lamely.

Stupid! He cursed himself internally. He had been messing up without even noticing. But they had noticed. How much had they pieced together?

“If something is wrong feel free to come to any one of us about it.” Logan said. “We won’t judge you.”

Virgil stared pointedly at Roman who blinked after a second. “I swear I won’t make fun of you for whatever it is. I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

Virgil took a breath. He really really had to get out of here. “Thanks but no thanks.”

“Virgil.” Patton said. “We’re here for you.”

“And that’s great! Really! Just that...nothing’s wrong! I am fine. Great even.” Virgil said.

“Why are you lying then?” Roman asked.

Virgil glared at him as his heart beat picked up. “I’m leaving now. Enjoy making out or whatever.”

“Virgil-”

He flipped them off as he left.

---

He locked his door and sat down on his bed. He kept looking at his closet.

Fuck it! He pulled out a onesie and a stuffed red panda. It was a soft blue bear onesie that was a bit larger than it needed to be so it made him feel extra small. He curled up on his bed and hugged the red panda to his chest.

He felt like sleeping. Or maybe he felt like crying.

The worry from earlier was wearing off and left him exhausted. To the point of passing out. Since he was little he didn’t see any problem sleeping now even if it was mid afternoon.

He woke up getting summoned, He panicked and just managed to snapped himself into his normal clothing before rising up.

“Oh good you’re...why are you wearing your old jacket?” Roman asked.

“Felt nostalgic.” He lied smoothly.

“Or maybe...you aren’t Virgil!” Roman pointed at him.

“You honestly can’t be saying I’m Janus.” Virgil said grumping at being woken up.

“Well…”

Virgil rolled his eyes, He waved his hand and Janus rose up. He looked around, “Virgil. You are the First person I expect to call me.” Janus said surprised.

Virgil gestured to Janus, “See? I’m me? Can we move on so I can get back to work?”

Janus laughed. “You were totally working!”

Oh..right. Janus could tell when someone was lying.

Virgil shifted, “I think you can leave now.”

“You called him.” Logan said.

“Yeah so everyone would know it was really me! Which I am! So...shoo!”

“You are acting really weird.” Logan stated.

“Come on Virge just tell us what's wrong.” Thomas said.

“Nothing!” Virgil said.

“Lying.” Janus said looking at his gloved fingers as if inspecting his nails.

Virgil hissed at him.

“If there’s something wrong then we can help!” Patton said.

“Just… come on. What’s wrong?” Thomas said.

“Nothing.” Virgil grit out.

“If it’s nothing then there should be no problem telling us!” Roman said.

“Ok You really don’t want to know.” Virgil said.

“Yes. We do.” Logan said.

“Well I don’t want you to know.” Virgil said. “How’s that?”

“Just tell me.” Thomas said.

“I...can’t.” Virgil said sharply.

“You must really like me being around so much if you are lying so much.” Janus said.

Virgil took a breath. Everyone was staring at him. He couldn’t lie. What was he supposed to do?

“Look if I tell you..You’re never going to look at me the same way again.” Virgil said. “It’s better if you all just..drop it.”

“Do you have spider legs?” Patton asked.

“What? No!”

“Are you secretly a cat? That would be so cute!”

“NO!” Virgil said, “I’m not..it’s not cute.”

“So it is cute.” Roman said.

“I just said it wasn’t!” Virgil said.

“You have been lying.” Janus said.

“WOULD YOU LEAVE?” Virgil yelled at him.

“What is it?”

“I-”

“Is it dangerous?”

“No… well I mean-”

“Are you doing something stupid?”

“No! It’s a coping thing!” He slapped his hand over his mouth.

Logan snapped his fingers, “Coping, biting thumb, childish behaviour. It’s age regression.”

“N-no!” Virgil said panic was rising further. Janus just looked at him.

They all knew. They all knew!

Roman laughed. “You...like being a kid again?”

That did it. Virgil teared up as he sunk out.

---

He refused to leave his room for three days. He was sure he would face more ridicule if he did. He cried on and off. One time he could have sworn he heard someone outside his door but he was crying too hard to really tell.

Everything was ruined now! Everything...they all knew and they were never going to respect him again. He was going to be a walking joke or treated like a kid all the time at best. At worst….He didn’t want to think about that.

“Please come out?” Patton asked through the door.

“Go away.”

“Roman is sorry he laughed.” Patton said.

“I don’t care!”

“Virgil...we need to talk about this.” Patton said.

Virgil opened the door. “Fine. But if anyone laughs again I swear-”

“No one will.” Patton promised.

Virgil followed Patton to the common room where Roman and Logan were waiting. He noticed Roman winced a little when he saw him. Maybe he wouldn’t laugh again.

“I truly am sorry I laughed.” Roman said.

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get this over with.” Virgil grumbled as he sat down away from all of them.

“We were wondering...If you needed someone to watch you when you were little.” Logan said.

Virgil blinked, “What?”

“A caregiver...or caregivers.” Logan clarified. “We don’t know if you regress young enough that you would need them but-”

“Hold on. Are you volunteering?” Virgil said.

“Well yes. If we can help you with your method of coping in any way then we will.”

“We’re here for you Kid- Virgil.” Patton said.

“Indeed.” Roman agreed.

Virgil hadn’t expected that question or for it to make him feel so...small. “I...I don’t know. I never really...I didn’t think you would be so...ok with it.”

“It took a bit of research to get use to the idea.” Roman admitted.

“But you don’t have to hide it anymore.” Patton said. “We support you fully!”

“I...thank you.” Virgil said. “But I don’t think I really want any of you to see me...Regressed..at least not yet.”

“That is understandable.” Logan said. “When or if you change your mind we are here.”

Virgil nodded.

---

It was about three months before Virgil felt ready to just wear a onesie around.

“So are you regressed right now?” Roman asked as he watched Virgil pour cereal.

“No...well yes. I’m in teen space.” Virgil said.

“About how old?” Logan asked.

Virgil shrugged, “Fifteen? Old enough that I can still take care of myself if that’s what you're asking.”

“How young do you get?” Patton asked as Virgil sat down with his cereal.

“Normally it’s around five, but I’ve been younger before.” Virgil said. “It’s rare. I don’t normally let myself…At least before I didn’t.”

They all nodded. Before returning to their own food.

There was a bit of silence before Roman spoke up, “It must have been stressful. Your only way of coping being hidden all the time.”

“A bit. Yeah.” Virgil said.

“Would you ever be willing to be further regressed around us?” Roman asked. Virgil looked up to find Patton and Roman staring at him excited.

“Ummm...maybe?” The thought was terrifying.

“You don’t have to.” Logan said shooting the other two a look that said back off.

“Of course only if you want to.” Patton said.

Virgil poked at his cereal. “I...guess It’s worth a try.”

“Great!” Roman beamed.

Virgil swallowed before forcing a pained smile.

---

He could do this. Just walked out there and let himself drop. He had been on the edge for the past two hours. Just go out there and….and.

He was pacing to the door and back, over and over as he tried to work up the courage to go out there and just….

“Ugh! I can’t do this!” He collapsed onto this bed.

He pulled the red panda to his chest. “Why is this so hard Kiki?”

Kiki being a stuffed animal, said nothing. Still Virgil groaned “You’re right. I promised I wouldn try.

He got up still holding the stuffed animal for comfort and opened the door. He inched his way to the stairs. He managed to get to the back before he saw anyone. This was fine. He was just regressing downstairs. Maybe no one would even show up?

“Greetings Virgil!” He jumped.

“Oh...hi.” He said hiding a little behind the panda.

“Oh..That’s a cute panda! What’s their name?” Roman asked.

“...Kiki.” Virgil said dropping.

“Nice to meet you Kiki. I’m sure you are taking great care of Virgil for us!” Roman said shaking the paw of the panda.

Virgil giggled. “Yeah.” He hugged the Kiki tighter.

Roman smiled. “So. What do you normally do about now little one?”

Virgil bit his lip and looked down. He shrugged. “Hide.”

“Oh…” roman said. “Well no need to do that! How about a game?”

“Mkay.” Virgil agreed. “What we play?” Virgil asked.

“Oh. You baby talk.” Roman said without thinking.

Virgil’s eyes widened and he backed away from Roman. “Sorry.”

“No No. It’s fine! I was just… surprised.” Roman said trying to comfort him.

“It stupid. Like me.” Virgil said.

“Don’t say that. Patton will have to fight you.” roman said joking.

Virgil began to panic more not getting the joke. “What? No. I don’t wanna fight!”

“Kidding!” Roman said. Geez this was harder than he thought it would be.

Virgil sat down on the couch cuddling Kiki. “Oh...Where is Paton?”

“Oh. Patton?” Roman called.

Patton heard his name and popped his head in from the kitchen. “Oh! Are you being little now?”

Virgil nodded, “Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry.” Patton reassured him. He and Roman inched closer.

“Can I watch a movie?” Virgil asked.

“Sure. Nightmare before christmas?” Roman asked.

Virgil agreed though he didn’t seem all that excited about it. Logan came down mid way through the movie and didn’t need to ask to tell Virgil was little. He was hugged a stuffed red panda and bitting his thumb. Logan summoned a pacifier and gave it to him.

Virgil’s eyes lit up as he looked at it. “For me?”

“Well I’m not going to use it.” Logan said.

“Thanks.” Virgil popping it into his mouth. He smiled around it as he leaned over against Roman who almost started vibrating from excitement.

He looked at Patton and Logan, “Are you seeing this?” He mouthed.

Patton shot him a thumbs up. Logan rolled his eyes fondly.

Slowly Virgil dozed off.

---

He woke up still leaning against Roman. The credits were rolling. “You awake?” Roman asked.

Virgil shot up. What did he have in his mouth. He spit it out. “Oh geez. I’m so sorry!”

“Oh. You aren’t regressing anymore.” Roman said, slightly disappointed.

Virgil paused, “Well yeah. It doesn’t last that long for me.”

“Oh. Well...ok.” Roman said standing.

“Why? Did something happen?” Virgil didn’t remember anything bad happening.

“No. Just..wanted to hang out with little you more.” Roman said.

Virgil shifted. Why did that make him feel so weird? “Well It’s not like I’m going to not be around anymore. Since today went so well.” Roman looked so happy at that.

So why did it make Virgil feel bad? Was he missing something?

---

A pattern was quickly becoming clear. Roman preferred being around and taking care of regressed Virgil over normal Virgil.

That was...fine. Virgil didn’t really like hanging out with Roman normally anyway. But then Patton started to like regressed Virgil more too...Then Logan.

“I just don’t want them to like me only when I’m regressed. You know?”

Kiki stared at him from the bed.

“I should just stop regressing.”

Blank beady eyes.

“You’re right. I need this! Maybe just go back to regressing alone.”

Those cold dead eyes.

“Ugh! Fine! IF they like me better regressed maybe they’ll have to deal with me only when I’m regressed!”

Plan in place Virgil set about getting everything ready.

As soon as he regressed he would wander out of his room looking for one of the others, as soon as he wasn’t regressed anymore he disappeared. It got to the point that the only time they saw Un-regressed Virgil was when they were all with Thomas.

“I’m getting concerned.” Patton said as Virgil played on the floor nearby. “It’s like he’s always regressed.”

“I think he just doesn’t like us when he’s not regressed.” Roman said.

“Perhaps we did something?” Logan suggested. “Made him feel like we didn’t want him around.”

“What though?” Roman asked. “We’ve been as supportive as we can be!”

“I mean I like Regressed Virgil but I miss our Virgil.” Patton said looking over at Virgil’s back.

Virgil had stopped playing as he listened. He felt awful.

They all heard a sob and rushed over. “What happened?”

“Did you get hurt?”

“What’s wrong?”

Virgil looked up at them. “I sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“To what?” Patton asked.

“I think you like me little better.” Virgil explained.

Logan frowned, “So you haven’t been showing up normal because you think we like you little more?”

Virgil nodded, “Sorry.”

“Oh sweetie.” Patton hugged him. “No. We like you anyway you are. We promise.”

“Mkay.” Virgil said.

Roman carefully whipped the snot and tears from Virgil’s face. “Now Let’s get you some food ok?”

Virgil agreed.

The balance between being little and big took time but he managed.

---

“Family meeting.” Virgil said walking in to the common rooms where the other three were. They all looked up at him. He took a deep breath. “Ok. So..it’s been almost six months since I started regressing around you..and you guys are kinda of already doing it but…”

“But?” Roman prompted.

“Will you three be my caregivers?” Virgil blurted out.

“Of course!” Patton said.

“It would be my honour.” Roman said.

“Yes.” Logan said.

Virgil smiled. “I love you guys.”

“Awww. We love you too!” Patton said getting up and hugging him.

Maybe being looked at a little differently wasn’t that bad.

---

Janus watched from the shadows as Patton and others hugged Virgil. Ever since Virgil had been found out to age regression Janus had been looking into it more.

And he didn’t like what he found.

How many symptoms of regression matched up to his own ‘illness’ that he had been fighting with. He knew Virgil had the same thing as him and was hoping that if he pushed Virgil to tell the others Logan would figure out what it was and he could learn how to cure it.

He didn’t like the answers he got from Logan about age regression. That involuntary regression wasn’t that easy to push off or avoid. That it was something that could be outgrown or it stuck with the person for the entirety of their life.

He guessed Virgil figured it out before Remus or he did. But he never imagined it to be so...embarrassing. Something deadly and dreadful? Yes. Something that made them...like kids?

Janus hated it. He hated how confused and helpless he was when it happened. How...vulnerable he was. He still wasn’t on the best terms with them and after pushing Virgil so much they liked him even less.

He disappeared into the dark and back to his room. He threw his hat into the corner and collapsed onto the bed. He ran a hand through his hair before tugging on it in frustration. He had been waiting for next to a year for Virgil to ask Logan to help him figure out how to stop regressing. For Logan to tell him something he wouldn’t tell Janus. For him to stop doing this!

No instead Virgil wanted them to be his ‘caregivers’ to take care of him when he was just a stupid kid! Where was the Virgil who hated feeling dumb? Who agreed that it was something that they shouldn’t have to deal with? Where was the Virgil that wanted it gone??

Coping.

Maybe for Virgil. Maybe even for Remus. But for Janus it was a nuance. A waste of time. A vulnerability he didn’t want nor need. He hated it.

He could feel it creeping in on him. The edge of his thoughts getting dimmer, slower. His frustration about it turned to fear and shame. He curled up on his side, tears filling his eyes and slid down onto the blankets under his face. He hated this. He sobbed.

He was alone and small and tired and…

Scared.

He was so so scared. He shook at the sound of someone walking outside his door. Freezing and covering his mouth to muffling his quickening breath.

There was a knock. “Dee?” Remus called.

Janus didn’t answer.

He wanted Remus to come in.

He wanted him to go away.

He wanted a hug.

He wanted to be alone.

He sobbed at the confusing thoughts. Why did he want to be alone? Alone was all scary and big and awful.

“Help.” He whimpered. The door opened and Remus looked him over before sighing.

“It’s happening again?”

Janus nodded and held out his arms. Remus come over and crawled into the middle of the bed so he could pull Janus into his lap to hold him. “Shhh. It’s ok. It’ll be over soon.”

“I scare.” Janus whispered.

Remus pressed a kiss to the top of Janus’ head. “It’s ok. I’m here. I’m going to stay here till you’re better again ok?”

Janus sobbed and nodded.

He hated this.

---

Remus watched as Janus slowly let himself slip into an unrestful sleep. He tightened his hold on his friend. He wanted to do more but there wasn’t much he could do. He could barely hold himself together when it happened to him, how was he supposed to help someone else?

A coping method.

Remus didn’t cope, he was the problem. Why would he need to cope?

Admittedly it was nice. He loved the simplicity of it. It was easy when it happened. He had a thought and he acted on it! No ands if’s or buts.

Heh butts.

He shook his head. Before looking at Janus fondly. He didn’t think it was as bad as Janus thought. It could even be fun. Terrified of everything and distorted thinking? That was right up his alley.

But it wasn’t for Janus. Janus needed to be able to think clearly. It was important to him. So it was important to Remus too. Remus didn’t know how to stop regressing, but he knew someone that might know.

So he tucked Janus in gave him a body pillow for him to cuddle with and left to go ask Logan some questions.

---

Logan jumped when he opened his bedroom door to see Remus sitting on his bed staring at him.

“Ah...Remus...What are you doing in my room?” Logan asked.

“I need your help.” Remus said.

Logan was sure he didn’t hear that correctly. “You….you need my help?”

Remus clapped his hands, “I need to fix Janus.”

“Why? What’s wrong with him? Did something happen?” Remus made a mental note of the concern in Logan’s voice. He wasn’t too surprised that Logan cared. You had to love that snake! He was the best! Who else was so down for murder at the drop of a hat?

“He….well we age regress and we wanted to know how to stop it.” Remus said cutting to the chase.

Logan took in this information. “Both of you...I see… Well I’m not sure you can stop if it is involuntary.”

“Can’t you like, whip up some kind of science pill that stops it?” Remus asked.

“That’s not how...ok. Look if you are both regressing due to a need to cope with stress then it might be possible for you to replace it with a separate coping method.” Logan said.

A dozen thoughts flooded Remus’ head. All of them more bloody than the last. Well he could try those but Janus wouldn’t want to give any of them a shot. He knew Janus too well to even suggest them to him.

“Thanks for the help!” Remus said. He paused at the door, “Could you...not mention this to anyone?”

“I will not tell anyone about your regression unless you tell me you want someone to know.” Logan promised.

Remus beamed. “Thanks! You’re the man.”

“Is that meant to be a compliment?” Logan frowned.

“That’s for me to know and for you to figure out. Byyyyye!”

---

Janus woke up with Remus gone. He frowned and got up to go looking for him. He carried the pillow with him and ran into Patton.

“Oh yeah! Is it nap time?” Patton asked looking at the pillow.

“Where’s Remus?” Janus asked trying to sound big and falling. Lucky Patton didn’t seem to care.

“I just saw him walk by! I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Can I offer you a cookie while you wait?” Patton asked.

Janus smiled and nodded eagerly. Patton laughed to himself as he led Janus into the kitchen for the snack. He was going to have to give Janus more sweets if this is how he responded to them!

Janus sat down at the table and kicked his feet as he waited. Patton thought he looked a bit like Virgil but couldn’t quite place why. Janus grabbed the cookie and took a large bite out of it. “Thanks.” He muttered around the mouthful.

Patton beamed, “Of course kiddo.” He ruffled Janus’ hair. Oh! He wasn’t wearing his hat! Maybe that was it!

Patton left Janus alone to finish his cookie. Janus watched him go slightly sad that he was leaving. He really didn’t want to be alone anymore but...maybe Remus would show up soon.

It was pretty quick for Remus to find him.

“Oh! What are you doing out of bed?” Remus asked.

“Got lonely.” Janus shrugged, standing and grabbing Remus’ hand. “Paton gave me a cookie dou.”

“Did he?” Remus asked.

Janus smiled, “Ahhuh! It was cha-co-lat!” Janus said, focusing to pronounce the word. Remus laughed.

“That’s great!” Remus said.

Janus was bouncy when they got back to his room. “I don’t wanna sleep more.”

“But if you do you’ll get better faster.” Remus reminded.

Janus sighed. “Oooook.” He crawled back into bed.

Remus smiled at him and kissed Janus’ forehead. “Sleep well.”

“Mmm.” Janus hummed closing his eyes.

Remus watched him a stab of unease went through him. Did he really want to get rid of this? Janus looked so relaxed and...happy. When was the last time he had been like this outside Little space?

---

Janus took the news that there might be a solution well. He was eager to get started, “Finally we can stop with the annoying brain rot.”

“I like brain rot!” Remus protested.

“I mean the regression.” Janus said.

“...yeah. Let’s do this!” Remus said a beat too late. Janus ignored it and moved on.

“A different coping method.” He pondered.

Remus was silently thinking. Did he really want to stop regressing? Janus did...which meant he should too..right?

They didn’t expect Virgil to show up. Yet there he was watching them.

“Virgil.” Janus said, finally noticing him. Remus stood up.

Virgil took a breath. “I noticed that you were...a bit bouncier earlier. And I realized something.” He looked Janus dead in the eyes. “You’ve been regressing too.”

“Of course not.” Janus lied. “This is something else.”

“Come on Dee.” Remus whispered.

Janus looked at Remus surprised before rolling his eyes, “Fine. We regress too.”

Virgil nodded to himself. “Alright well...I don’t know about the others but..I’m here if you ever want to...regress around someone.”

Remus lit up at the suggestion. Janus spoke first. “Thank you for the wonderful offer but unlike you we won’t be doing this for much longer.”

Virgil frowned, “What do you mean? You can’t just..stop!”

“Why not?”

“You don’t think I didn’t try to? It never works.” Virgil said, shaking his head.

Janus stiffened. That’s...that can’t be true! There has to be a way to stop. There has to be! “Just because you failed-”

“But I’m willing to help you try.” Virgil said.

Janus narrowed his eyes, “Why are you being so….nice?”

Virgil looked uncomfortable. “Maybe I want us to not be at odds all the time.”

“So you’ll help us?” Remus asked.

“As long as he give regression an honest shot first.” Virgil said.

“You’re kidding right?” Janus laughed.

Virgil crossed his arms. “No. I mean it. It’s really helped me and I think it can help both of you.”

“Fine.” Janus spit out. “But when we don’t like it You’ll help us get rid of it!”

Virgil held out a hand. Janus shook it. Remus just watched. Wondering why Virgil was so smug looking. There was no way he was going to convince Janus to actually like regressing...no. No way.

---

Janus and Remus sat on the couch in the common room Virgil and Logan both there to help them regress. “So you want me to do this on purpose?” Remus asked.

“Well we could wait for it to happen naturally.” Logan said.

Janus huffed, “Let’s just do whatever gets this over with!”

The next two hours were a disaster.

Remus had managed to catch multiple things on fire before Logan managed to wrestle the matches from him. Janus was stubborn and refused to properly regress instead got half into the headspace and just pouted.

It wasn’t until Patton wondered that he brightened up.

“What’s going on?” Patton asked no clue that they were regressed.

Logan and Virgil looked at each other. “Just...a...test of sorts.”

“Oh. Are you two winning?” Patton asked Remus and Janus.

“Yeah!” Remus said. “I’m winning!”

Janus shrugged. Then he spoke which he had been refusing to do. “Of course I am!”

Patton nodded, “Well I’ll leave you too it-”

Virgil caught him. “Actually could you stay and watch them for a couple minutes? I need to talk to Logan in the other room.”

“Why would I need to watch them?” Patton asked.

“Because...umm…” Virgil started.

“Remus has been setting things on fire.” Logan said flatly.

“Oh! I can make sure that doesn’t happen anymore.” Patton promised.

Virgil smiled. “Thanks!”

Virgil dragged Logan around the corner and waited for Patton to go about looking after Janus and Remus before Peeking around the corner.

“What are we doing?” Logan asked.

“We’re testing something. Janus and Remus both lit up and focused on Patton when he came in the room. They may feel safer around him and will lower their guards.” Virgil whispered.

“That is...a brilliant idea.” Logan said.

“Thanks.”

Janus was too busy watching Patton to notice Logan and Virgil peeking out around the corner. Remus saw them but just didn’t care.

“So are we going to be starting any more fire?” Patton asked.

“No?” Remus answered.

Patton smiled at him. “Exactly!”

Why did Janus want Patton to smile at him like that. “Hey..um..” He said.

“What do you need kiddo?” Patton asked.

Janus was quickly falling deeper into little space. “Hug?” he whispered.

Patton beamed. “I never thought you would ask!” He hugged Janus.

“Hey! ME too!” Remus said tackling them.

Patton and Remus laughed as Janus smiled.

Virgil shook Logan’s shoulder, “Are you seeing this?”

“And he still has no idea they are regressed?” Logan asked slightly concerned about his boyfriend’s intelligence.

“What are we looking at?” Roman asked popping his head around the corner. Virgil jumped and fell down.

“Don’t scare me like that!” He snapped before he noticed that Janus and Remus could see him.

Janus had an unreadable expression on his face as he pulled away from Patton, grabbed Remus and left.

“Ah shit.” Virgil said.

“Langue.” Patton frowned.

---

Janus groaned. He didn’t succeed in getting rid of his regression nooo instead he turned seeing Patton into a trigger! Luckily Patton and Roman had no idea what was going on. Unluckily Virgil and Logan did.

“This is a mess.” Janus said.

“This is art!” Remus snapped as he cooked.

“I wasn’t talking about that but yes that is a mess.” Janus said.

There were eggshells and paper in the soup thing that Remus was making. “You should regress to get your mind off it.”

Janus looked at Remus. “Are you serious? That’s ridiculous!”

“Why not?” Remus asked. “It helps.”

“It only helps idiots and cowards who can’t face their problems!” Janus snapped.

“It helps me.” Remus said cooly.

“Remus...I didn’t mean you.”

“Oh so just Virgil? Who has been nicer than we deserve?” Remus said.

“Where is all of this coming from?” Janus asked bewildered.

Remus just shook his head. “You were supposed to give it a fair chance.”m he took his soup dish thing and left. Janus stared at the spot he had been standing in.

Remus was...disappointed? In him???

Janus groaned.

---

“I’m surprised you came to me for help.” Patton said.

So was Janus. But if he was going to give this a fair shot then he needed to do it correctly. The only snag in that plan was that he still didn’t want Patton to know. Hell he didn’t want Virgil or Logan to know! But what was done is done.

“I don’t suppose we could do something while we talked?” Janus asked. Hoping that would give him something else to focus on to keep him steady.

“Sure! You want to help me and Roman cook dinner?” Patton asked.

“Roman?”

“Oh..would that be a problem?” Patton asked concerned.

Janus wanted to say yes it was! But..it was just an extra reason to not slip up. Besides it wasn’t like this was the first time he had been little around them without either of them noticing.

“Not at all. Just not sure he would want me around.” Janus said.

“Let’s ask him.” Patton said.

Turns out Roman was thrilled that Janus was making an effort to get along and was more than happy with him joining them.

Yay.

It was going well. Janus half in half out of his head space when he turned and collided with Roman and dropped the glass he was holding. It shattered and he accidently cut his foot. He dropped both to the floor and into his head space. He started crying.

“Whoa. It’s ok! It’s just a glass little-” Roman caught himself. Had he almost called janus little stormcloud? That was for Virgil when he was….little.

Roman picked up Janus and set him on the dinner table so he could see his foot and left Patton to Clean up the broken glass. “It’s ok now. I’ve got you.”

“Owie.” Janus whimpered.

Ok. yeah he was little. Roman looked over the wound and smiled up at Janus, “It’s just a small cut. Nothing a big boy like you can’t handle!” He said in the same soft tone he used when Virgil was scared or hurt.

“O-ok.” Janus said hugging himself as he watched Roman clean the wound with a rag before putting on a bandage.

“You did such a good job staying still! Do you want a sticker or sucker for being a great patient?” Roman asked, holding out a snake sticker and a red sucker.

“Stick please?” Janus asked.

“Of course!” Roman said. “Would you like it on your shirt?” Roman asked peeling it off.

Janus tapped his human cheek. Roman smiled as he stuck it on. Janus giggled. “Tanks.”

“Awww. Is Janus a little too?” Patton said stepping over now that the glass was cleaned up.

Janus ducked his head. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Patton said.

“I lied. I didn’t say it to you.” Janus said. “So...sorry.”

“It’s ok Sir scaly.” Roman said, picking Janus up and holding him. “You weren’t ready to tell us.”

“I didn’t wanna let anyone know.” Janus said. “I don’t like it.” He frowned.

“Oh? Why is that?” Roman asked.

Janus hid his face in Roman’s shoulder, “Scare an con-few-en.”

“It’s ok if you get confused.” Patton said. “You just have to ask someone else to explain it to you.”

“And you don’t have to be scared. We’ll protect you.” Roman promised.

“Weally? But I’mma bad guy.” Janus muttered.

“You aren’t a bad guy. I promise.” Roman said, tightening his grip on Janus. Janus hummed before yawning.

Patton laughed, “Is someone tired?”

“Mmm.”

“Why don’t you take a nap on the couch and We’ll wake you up when dinner is ready. Ok?” Patton asked.

“Ro go too?” Janus asked.

Roman could not say no to that.

Which is why Virgil came down and found Roman holding a sleeping Janus on the couch. “What’s going on with them?” Virgil asked Patton as he walked into the kitchen.

“Oh! You’ll never guess!” Patton beamed.

“Oh?” Virgil asked.

“Yeah! You aren’t the only little!” Patton said. “Oops. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

“It’s fine. I knew.” Virgil said.

“You did? Why didn’t you tell me?” Patton asked. “No wait I get it. If he asked you to keep it a secret then it’s ok.”

“Glad you agree.” Virgil peeked back in on Roman and Janus. Roman shot him a thumbs up. Janus curled up half on him.

Virgil pushed down the jealousy he felt. It was stupid to be upset when he wanted Janus and Remus to get help.

“Are you ok? You’re frowning pretty hard there.” Patton said. “Don’t want it to get stuck that way.”

“I...Is it bad that I’m angry at Janus?” Virgil asked.

Patton paused, “Why are you mad?”

“I...don’t want him sleeping on Roman.” Virgil said.

“Sounds like someone is going to have to learn how to share caregivers.” Patton said softly.

Virgil huffed dropping. “But daaaad. I don't’ wanna!”

Patton hid a laugh. “Sorry Kiddo. I’m afraid you’ll have to get use to it.”

“Ugh!” Virgil groaned and threw himself down into a chair.

“Think of it this way. You have a little brother now.” Patton said. “Someone else you can play with when you're little.”

Virgil thought about that. “Yeah...yeah!”

“So will you be a good big brother?” Patton said.

“I’mma gonna be the best big brother!” Virgil said. “To Remus too!”

Patton stopped, “Remus is little too?”

“Oops.”

---

Remus was sitting on his bed eating his soup. His anger had cooled off and was replaced by wishing he hadn’t stormed out. He should go talk things through with Janus. He didn’t want to stay mad at his best friend.

“Remus?” Logan’s voice called through his door. Remus waved his hand and the door opened.

“What are you doing here?”

“Would you like to join us for dinner?” Logan said.

Remus raised his pot of soup. “Got food. Thanks though.”

“Ah..well it’s more of a...family meeting with food than dinner.” Logan said.

“And Moi is invited?” Remus said before throwing the pot so it hit the wall and jumping up. “Well I’m not going to miss this!”

“I should inform you that Janus regressed in front of Roman and Patton both of whom have figured out he and you regress.” Logan said as they started on their way to the kitchen.

“Oh thank fuck! I did not want to keep that hidden anymore.” Remus said relieved.

“Not..the reaction I expected.” Logan chuckled.

Remus shrugged and sped up. “Come on! Speed it up! I want to see Virgil’s face when he hears about this.”

Logan grabbed Remus’s arm stopping him. “I should warn you that Both Virgil and Janus are regressed and that you should be more..kid friendly.”

“Fine.” Remus rolled his eyes.

---

When Remus and Logan walked in the room Virgil shrunk into Patton’s side. Patton whispered something to him before Virgil nodded and sat up again. Janus was sitting next to Roman. Remus ended up sitting between Logan and Patton.

“So what’s up?” Remus asked.

“Virgil did you have something you wanted to say?” Patton asked.

Virgil shook his head and poked Patton’s arm, “You say it.”

“Ok. Virgil wants to try a playdate with you two.” Patton said looking between Remus and Janus.

Janus tilted his head to the side. He frowned and looked to Roman. “I got a con-few-en.”

“Confusion? About what?” Roman asked.

“Virgil not like me...but playdate?”

“I like you!” Virgil said. “I’m going to be careful and everything.”

Remus held up his hands, “I think we should have this conversion when Janus isn’t...I mean it isn’t fair to have him agree to something when he’s like this.”

“Why not?” Logan asked.

“Well cause we don’t remember as much?” Remus said. Logan, Roman and Patton looked at each other. “Isn’t that the same with Virgil.”

Virgil shook his head, “I remembers.”

“Huh.” Remus said.

“Remus about how young do you both regress to?” Logan asked.

“Around...4 for me? Or younger? I know that Janus is younger.” Remus said.

“Very helpful.” Roman said flatly.

“I don’t know how age works for children!” Remus shot back.

“Well we can test some things out to see. In the meantime we’ll put off the playdate.”

“Awww.” Virgil looked down and kicked his feet.

Remus felt bad about ruining Virgil’s fun. “I’m up for it.” Remus said. “Even if Janus isn’t.”

Virgil smiled at him. That felt better.

Janus was watching slowly the younger look in his eyes faded till Remus could tell it was just Janus sitting there. He sat up more, looked sideways at Roman and stayed quiet as Remus watched him try to figure out what the hell happened and what was happening now.

“So mind explaining how Janus regressed earlier?” Remus asked for Janus’ benefit.

Patton told the story excitedly. “He was so cute!”

Janus looked down at his lap, his cheek red under the snake sticker. “I’d like a playdate.” He said.

“You’re bigger now?” Roman asked.

Janus couldn’t meet Roman’s eye. “Yes.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.” Patton said.

Janus took a deep breath. “I thought that Age regression was just...dumb. That I was dumb for doing it. I can see that I was wrong now. And...I want to give it an honest shot.” He said looking right at Virgil.

Virgil smiled at him. He gave him a thumbs up and everyone else laughed.

---

Janus sat in Roman’s lap on the floor, playing with a rattle, a paci in his mouth as he wore a fluffy onesie. “Having fun?” Roman asked. Janus giggled and bounced a little. It was clear that he was barely able to talk at all. 0-2 years old.

Remus liked to crawl so that he ‘fell over less’. He was wearing a pair of green and black pajamas. He got a paci but after chewing off the rubber tip Logan got him a chewy necklace and a teething star wand. He sat leaning on Roman and holding one of Janus’ hands.

Virgil sat down showing Janus and Remus his favorite toys. “This is kiki the red panda! They are really really soft.” He held kiki out so Janus and Remus could pet the panda stuffie softly.

“Sot!” Janus babbled around his paci. “Soft!” Remus said, managing to say the word.

Virgil looked up at Patton and Logan. “I do good?”

“You’ve done excellent.” Logan said.

Virgil smiled. He turned back to Janus and Remus and kept showing them toys.

---

Janus knocked on Virgil’s door. Virgil opened it and blinked in surprise. “Oh. Hi. What do you need?”

Janus took a breath. “Thank you...for convincing me to give it a shot.”

“Oh well..you’re welcome.” Virgil said.

Janus turned to leave before turning back to Virgil. Virgil watched him debate something in his head. “Just spit it out.”

“It’s dumb.” Janus said.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “I’ll forget about it if it is ok?”

“Can I...give you a hug?” Virgil was surprised.

“Sure.” Virgil said with a slight smile. Janus still hesitated and it was fast one armed hug but..it was still a hug. “Feel better little brother?” Virgil asked.

“That’s only when we’re little and you know that!” Janus hissed at him.

“Oh come on! Can’t your big brother be proud of the progress you’ve made?” Virgil said.

“I take back everything. I hate you.” Janus said, turning to leave.

“Already a moody teenager. They grow up so fast.” Virgil said.

“Stop! I will tell Patton about this!” Janus warned. It was a hollow threat and they both knew it.

Virgil laughed. “Oh no! Don’t bring Patton into this.” Janus sighed heavily but a smile pulled at his lips as he listened to Virgil laugh.

“Hey...Virgil.” Janus said.

“Yeah?” Virgil said smile falling.

“I’m proud of you too.” Janus said before turning and walking away listening to Virgil sputter behind him.

Remus watched the whole thing from the end of the hall. He gave Janus a high five. “I knew you had it in you Dee.”

Janus rolled his eyes, “Let’s just go. I don’t feel like getting a heart to heart with Patton right now.”

“What about a heart for heart. I rip both your hearts out and switch them.” Remus began rambling.

Janus smiled fondly at his best friend.

Yeah. Maybe Regression isn’t as bad as he thought it was. Maybe it was nice to have that sense of family and safety. Relaxation and comfort. Maybe it wasn’t dumb.

Alright it wasn’t dumb. It was coping.

Janus could get used to it if it was always like this.

[calypsoff]

Fifty Nine. Part 2

Clinton honestly plays at my heartstrings with Chris, just to see a good father. He is ever so attentive towards Chris and I love to see it, he just comes out with the most random things too which makes me laugh but to see a father, it’s nice to see. I don’t know what one is, it’s been tainted for me because of my own and I don’t think I know what a real father should be doing “you good now yeah? No more tears” Clinton placed his arm around Chris and patted his shoulder “no more, I’m good now. I ain’t seen y’all in a while, I missed it. You know how much I missed you when I was locked up but yeah, I’m good” Chris makes me so proud, he really does. He just so open with his emotions with his family, even with me but I love that “so what is happening in the family, how is the baby? Tell me” Clinton asked Chris, he probably wants to hear what he has to say which I don’t mind “good, erm me and Barry aren’t friends anymore. I’m not sure what he is on at all, we just not speaking anymore. He was saying things that angered me that I ended up beating him, in the middle of iHop and I got arrested and now I got a court case. So that happened” Clinton looks horrified “again!? What did I say to you about letting anyone get to you! Seriously, you have so much going for you. I said it to you when you were first time arrested, I said to you that you are not like those boys out there that need to do these types of things. Barry isn’t proceeding the way you are Chris; you need to make new friends in that field. The people of VA you leave behind, nobody is happy for you” Clinton was harsh there “we understand why you both didn’t come to the home and we appreciate that you even came to VA, I’m very happy to see you both even came but we will come to you both” Joyce added “I’m not hiding though, fuck them” Chris said “you’re not hiding son, you’re fully there and we see it” Clinton is right “move to Cali, then I can see you when I want and then when Robyn isn’t speaking to me I can see you all” Chris would mention that “no baby, your sister is here” Chris pulled a face “but I would like you to be safe, you know Robb is throwing threats” Clinton looked at Joyce “I think your mother wants to stay in VA; our family is here. Only you are in Cali” Chris shrugged his dad’ arm off “yeah the family that don’t fuck with your son, ok. It’s just me” Chris is offended by what was said, I don’t blame him.

Chris as he does he’s walked off because he’s not happy, I’m not going to get myself involved because it’s his family “Clinton leave him, he needs space and we give him that” Joyce said as Clinton was going to get up and follow him “I just don’t want him to be sad, it’s a lovely day. Seeing each other” taking in a deep breath “do you all still speak to the family still? It’s just Chris?” I questioned, I want to know more actually “they speak to us yes, but when it comes to Chris he is a bit of a taboo, Robb is the first born grandchild. Spoilt, so when that all happened they took sides and it hurts me so much because he’s my only son, but I also want my family, We decided to just keep both sides happy and not speak on either, I know my son feels I am betraying him. I don’t know what else I can do without losing the family I got and have nothing” pressing my lips into a hard thin line “but then Chris had nothing besides you three? How was that fair on him. In that situation, coming out of jail and he came back to nasty behaviour. I just feel it’s hard for him, he did what he needed to do to be out, I won’t ever say he did wrong. You both got your boy back and that alone should be praised but how you think he feels when now he’s between you and that family you want” I shouldn’t be involved in this because it’s not my issue at all “it’s ok because I will have my own family” oh Chris heard then “son, you’re taking it the wrong way. You knew this, you knew the family didn’t forgive. We would always choose you over them, it is never like that but we are ok in VA, we really are so please let’s not argue, can we not” Chris made his way over to me and sat next to me “I have no family” looking over at Chris “stop” I don’t want this to be an argument, we didn’t come here for that.

Both Clinton and Chris went out to get some groceries, they took Frank with them. I wasn’t letting them go alone, I’m not risking it at all “Joyce, it’s playing on my mind and you can tell me to mind my business but. They want to kill your son, does that not hurt you and want you to not deal with them anymore?” I’m still on it “kills me deep inside. My sister came and she said my son is suffering, I said to her so is my son as you all wish nothing but bad on him so all he keeps getting is bad, I told Chris to go to church more, he needs the blessing because there is nasty people out there that are wishing it, those people is my family. I do want a change but all I know is VA, I am comfortable here” as a mother I can imagine how hurt she is about it all “all I knew is Barbados Joyce, but I did it and I was happier, hand on my heart a change could be best for you all because he wants to protect you all too, but that’s something you all want. Chris is a hurt man and I see it sometimes, he loves Barbados, he loves my family and minus my dad but how close we are. I see his smile and then he comes here, and he has no family around, it’s a shame. All they are doing now is selling stories about him, my publicist told me, and I said deny it all, he doesn’t know that, but I do. It’s just a nasty situation where now his cousin is threatening him, I feel like someone has put some witchcraft on him, you’re right. All those bad wishes add up and maybe we need to go church, but I think if you really want a change, make it” they are thinking on moving then they need to do that now before Chris gets the house for them.

Joyce touched my bump and it made me giggle “my mother would be jealous right now, she just calls me on FaceTime to stare at my bump. She’s so excited about this, she’s telling me she will move in for me and she will do this and that and I’m like hold on mommy, I am ok. Chris and I are ok, I just know Chris is going to be so supportive. But I think I will let her stay for a few days and then she needs to go home, she will take over. The baby is going to be so loved, I can’t wait” she cooed out “what you guessing? My mother said boy weird enough, she said the way I am carrying so I am so unsure, also Chris and I met this guy in Jamaica called captain and he knew so much, he turned around to me and said girl, I was so freaked out” Joyce gasped “wow, well I think girl. Oh baby I hope it is a girl, daughters are a pleasure. Such beautiful, spirited kids, boys are a pain. I enjoyed my daughter then I did my son but Chris himself, he was clingy to me, forever wanting me to pick him up but I feel like when boys grow up, they grow up to not be yours” Joyce has got a point “he also said we have four kids but one is vague and I questioned and said was one a miscarriage and he said no so that scared me, I don’t know. I hope it’s not anything awful” I sighed out “impressive” Joyce said and I laughed “well” I dragged out, her son has super sperm so it could be a thing actually “would you want that many? You’re a very busy woman” I chuckled “with the help and support from the love of my life yes it can happen, even if god blessed me once I am happy” Joyce cooed out “I am so excited for you both” this baby is going to be so loved and I can’t wait.

Sweet of Joyce, she cooked for us and I wasn’t expecting that at all. She made me sit down and not do anything at all, it’s nice “you know what, this was so nice. Thank you, but leave the dishes, Chris will clean up” I grinned at Chris “what?” He said confused “you heard me but it’s getting late, I don’t want you driving home and it’s too dark for you” Chris chuckled “she is trying to make you both leave, she is bored of you” Chris is such a liar “don’t listen to him please, he is a liar. But anyways, can we take a picture together, just before you depart. I want a in-law’s picture, I’ll get Rich to come and take it” getting up from the seat “oh god my hair is not done?” Waving Joyce off “stop it” making my way to the living room to get Rich so he can take this picture of us “Rich, can you take a picture” walking back on myself “what’s bout your bump?” Chris asked “your jacket” taking his jacket from the back of his chair, I just really don’t care about hiding about the fact I’m with my in-law. Putting Chris’ jacket on and zipping it up “don’t you think it looks better on me?” I smiled at Chris “mhmmm nah, better on me” Chris wrapped his arms around my shoulders “Rich can you notice my bump? Anything at all?” I asked as he aimed the camera up “erm no, the counter covers it” shuffling to Joyce and placing my around her “ok smile” I grinned wide, I probably look a mess but who cares “done” Rich made his way over to us, taking my phone from him “awwww thank you, I love this picture. I don’t look pregnant here at all, ok family” pressing next and adding a caption ‘I have the cutest in-laws’ pressing send on the picture “it’s been honestly so nice to see you both, but honestly. Chris will clean” I am being deadass, he thinks I am joking “awww, how long you both staying for?” Joyce asked “erm, I would say a few days. Spending some quality time together” I laughed to myself because that sounds stupid, we see each other anyways.

Chris is downstairs trying to figure which home he wants to get for his parents, I spoke to Chris last night about them remaining here, they are happy to be here so why change that for them. Even though for Chris I would have liked them to come to Cali but it’s fine, just because they are happy here so he is downstairs looking at different homes, he changed his mind on what he wants to get and I don’t mind because I need sort out his birthday gift or gifts anyways, but I don’t know what I am doing with this shit so I am getting my brother to help me, I have not a clue about this shit so while he is down there I am calling him “nigga, why you take so long to pick up” I scolded him “sorry, man I was just going to have a nap under the sun” he knows damn well I miss Barbados “asshole, so anyways. Have you done your investigation for me? I told you, if I say it to him he will clock on so I don’t want to ask” he better have spoken to him “yeah, I text him and said well lied to him. I said I am moving to Cali to be closer, and I am looking to get a car, well at first we spoke about sports and then I turned it into about cars, then he said oh my car is just an Uber which made me laugh but he spoke on Lamborghini, he said once he makes his money up he will get that for himself, so there. I did it” I have no idea about cars, they cute whatever but I don’t. I have that Porsche that is in a garage that I don’t even use “right so now what? Rorrey please, you got to do this for me” he has no choice he has too “right there is a few models but I am flying over sis so we can both go and look, don’t worry about it I got you” thank god he is coming.

As I come down the door knocked at the same time “I will get it” Rich said as he got up, I need to make some lunch actually, I am hungry. Slowly walking down the last step as Rich walked by me “you don’t look happy” I said, “I was having a nap” I gasped “so in that nap you were saving me from what?” Rich chuckled as he opened the door “oh wow, hi” letting out an oh, it’s TJ “I come in peace, honestly big man” Chris jogged by me “is that you TJ?” Rich moved to the side, TJ stood awkwardly with a car seat in hand but then he placed it on the floor as Chris jumped on him, giving him the biggest hug “oh man, it’s the married man” I smiled seeing them both hugging, seeing Chris happy with his friend “oh shit, oh my god. Is this Camron? Holy shit, who this white boy” Chris crouched down to the car seat “hi Rihanna” TJ waved at me “hey, come in. Chris bring the baby, come in. I am going to make lunch, you want some?” I asked “no thank you, I just ate. I really wanted Chris to meet my son, like I am so excited about this” watching Chris as he bought the car seat over to me “look at him, he fat and white” I cooed out looking into the car seat seeing this chubby little thing with the lightest hair “wow TJ, he is you!” I spat “he is so cute” now I am jealous, I Want my bbay with me now, Camron is so cute.

Walking into the living room and sitting next to Chris “ugh, I cannot wait for our baby to be here. Look at you being all daddy, TJ your son is beautiful. He is really you’re twin, god bless him” TJ laughed “thank you, I just wanted Chris to meet him, and it happened. I just wanted this moment, when he’s older I can start taking him to Cali, he will have someone to play with when little Breezy comes along but thank you” poking my lips out “come here, you are so precious” picking Camron off of Chris, slowly placing him in my arms “you really are a charmer staring at me with those big brown eyes” I should have known, like he’s a baby and they can sniff milk “aye, wait. No, those nipples are mine” I snorted laughing moving him away from my breast, this baby is ready for milk “oh shit, I just fed him, he probably senses it” lifting him up and sat him up on my lap with my hand behind his head “take a picture for me, do you mind?” I asked TJ “I don’t, I mean after the breast thing. You can” Chris aimed the camera, placing my hand just under his chin “mind the stomach” I added “Camron, hey nephew! Yeah, you going to smile at me, awww look at that” Chris turned my phone to me “cute, post it please and put. Just had a baby the world thinks I am pregnant with, I want to annoy the rumours floating around. This will throw them off” also just that alone will upset Seiko, she will be so angry about me posting her son.

[finnyboywolfhard]

Song That The Morning Brings (EPILOGUE)

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

catch up here

summary: months have passed, and the group is spending time with one another. 

warnings: cursing and fluff af, short and sweet

A/N: and so we’ve reached the end! this story holds a deeply special place in my heart, and i am so glad that so many of you have enjoyed it and stuck with me along the way. I have no idea what I’m gonna write next, but i am very open to ideas! also lmk if you want to be on a permanent taglist! Enjoy :) 

word count: 1.5k 

“Okay, so I brought home Sixteen Candles, Nightmare on Elm Street and Gremlins.” Y/N said walking into her living room following a long shift at Family Video. The party and Steve were sitting there patiently waiting. She set her keys on the side table and slipped the vest off her body. She looked towards the group again, sadness gaining as Will and Eleven were missing from the group.

“Sixteen Candles is one of my favorites.” Max said towards the girl.

“That’s a chick flick!” Mike replied.

“And? It’s a good movie Mike.” Steve replied back, standing up to come towards his girlfriend. The kids continued to bicker about what movie they were gonna watch first. Steve left a gentle kiss on Y/N’s lips, and then gazed into her eyes.

“Will you help me make dinner please?” She said with her puppy dog face, knowing what it does to him. He sighed and rolled his eyes as a smile spread across my face.

“I will, but you have got to stop making that face.” He said, rubbing her back and pulling her closer and closer. The girl leaned her face towards hers, letting a gentle but long lasting smooch.  

“Can you guys go somewhere else if you’re gonna be gross?” Dustin let out in a huff. The two pulled apart while giggling, Y/N pulling Steve behind her to the kitchen. She made a simple dinner of frozen chicken nuggets and random vegetables she also found. The girl could cook, but cooking for six of them now and one for later, her mom, was a feat she wasn’t willing to venture down currently.

“How was it today? Was Keith more tolerable to you?” Steve asked.

“He was less flirty but there were still a few weird comments. You have the job and he’s been nice to you, hell, you already have a raise! How long do we have to keep this up?” She pleaded to him, regarding how they had to pretend they weren’t a couple at work.

“I don’t know, just a little longer just to be sure.” She sighed and turned back to the pot, stirring absolutely nothing, just deflecting her feelings elsewhere. She knew it was just so they could keep their jobs, but it did hurt not being able to openly love him everywhere. She knew she could keep it professional, but sometimes when Keith is gross, she just wants to involve Steve but she can’t.  Steve could tell she was getting tense.

“Come here.”

“I have to pay attention to this.” She said passive aggressively.

“Y/N/N, come here.” She shuffled over to stand in between his legs while he sat on a counter.

“Yes?” He cupped her face into his hands, making sure they were making direct, un-breaking eye contact.

“Y/N Y/M/N Henderson, I am wildly, deeply, crazy in love with you.” This had slowly but surely becoming their way of proving how much love they really had for one another ever since Y/N said it the first time.

“I am even more in love with you Steven Joseph Harrington.” They made loving eye contact for a few seconds before confusion spread across her face.” Hey, the night of the fight, why were you hugging my mom before we left?”

“Oh, yeah. She basically just said that she knew how much I loved you and she had watched me transform before her own eyes. Then I apologized for the way I acted there for a while and uhh—she told me that she trusted me to care for you and be there, because you let me in when you wouldn’t let anyone else in, not even her. All I could do was hug her in that moment. She saw all that I’ve ever wanted to do- Love you.” He watched as the girls eyes pooled with tears, letting his thumb swipe the drop from beneath her eyes. “Come on Y/N/N, please don’t cry.” She let out a softer giggle than usual.

“Oh shush, you’re the one who made me cry. You’re too much for me Stevie. You can act all tough as much as you want, but you’re really just a big ol’ softie.” She said before peppering his face with kisses. She tapped his thighs before moving back to the stove and oven, checking over the food. “Are you taking the party home tonight or are they spending the night? Dusty didn’t tell me.”

“I think they’re sleeping over, why?”

“Do you just want to sleep over too then? We could make breakfast tomorrow for them; maybe take them for a day trip or something?” Y/N asked calmly, beginning to get dishes out to serve dinner.

“Uhh—yeah, sure. That could be nice.” He cleared his throat, clearly becoming flustered.

“Calm down Stevie, it’s not like you haven’t spent the night here before.”

“That was when we weren’t dating, I want to be respectful.” He said, sitting up a little taller. This made her fully laugh.

“Steve.” She said, giving him a look that just screamed, ‘are you serious right now?’.

“Okay, okay! But if your brother says one stupid thing, I’m out.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” She said, not believing him in the slightest. She went over to entrance of the living room. “Guys, dinner’s ready.”

They all found their way into the kitchen, got their food and went back into the living room, food propped up on their laps. “Did you decide a movie yet?” Y/N asked from beside Steve.

“We can’t agree on Nightmare on Elm Street or Sixteen Candles first.” Lucas said softly, he was clearly the center of this argument.

“Dusty, put in Nightmare on Elm Street, we’ll watch this now rather than right before we go to bed.” The movie played through, members of the group jumping every so often when things got scary. Y/N had herself tucked into Steve, as if he was protecting her from the horrors of the movie.

As the night passed on, Claudia came back from work and watched some of the movies with the kids, they ate a load of popcorn and shared a lot of laughs.  It was weird to not have Eleven or Will here, hell it was weird to see Nancy come into the video store without Jonathan. It was as if a piece of their hearts were gone.  But this was how they were healing, they were spending time sharing love with one another. Y/N began to yawn and feel tired, somehow cuddling closer and closer to Steve by the second.

“Okay, I think it’s time to get this one to bed. “ Steve said towards the kids, lifting the arm covering Y/N just a smidge.

“Hey! No! I want to finish the movie!”

“Y/N, don’t kid yourself. You’re gonna be asleep in ten minutes.” Dustin said, mocking his sister’s ability to stay awake. She glared at him for a few seconds, communicating with him through their minds, just like siblings do.

“Fine.” She stood up and folded the blanket that was just covering her and Steve. “Come here, give me hugs goodnight, each and every single one of you!” The kids stood to their feet and gave her a hug. Over the past few months, Y/N had been way more open and affectionate with each of them, seeing as how precious the days with them are. They never knew when another battle was going to come again, so she had to show how much she cared every single day. She swore that to herself after what happened with Hopper. Max had started to cling on extra long, clearly re-finding the comfort of a sibling in Y/N. After Billy had died that night, she could never be the same. Sure Billy was awful, and sure Max hated the way he treated people, but he was still her family. They had still been through so much. Y/N was happy to take on any familial role to any of them, knowing how desperately they all needed it.

“Goodnight guys, I love you all so much.” She said before darting up the steps, followed closely by her boyfriend. They meandered through her bedroom, getting ready to go to sleep at their own paces, moving in synchronous motions none the less. They crawled into bed and faced one another.

“I really do love you Stevie. A lot.”

“I really do love you, Y/N/N. So, so much.” He gave her a kiss and pulled her into his chest to fall asleep.

Steve and Y/N’s relationship was one that people saw coming, but could never truly have imagined how beautiful it would really be. They were each other’s favorite people to start and end the day with. They could talk about anything and everything without judgment. Yeah, they fought sometimes, but that’s completely normal. All in all, these two shared a bond of happiness, trust and memories. From the moment they met, their lives were intertwined. Even through the period of time where they were no longer friends, or when they were facing the awkward in-between, it all meant something.  It meant that they would fight the good fight, and they would do it together. Because to Y/N, Steve was the song that the morning brings.

taglist: @mochminnie @queen1054 @prettysbliss @voidnarnia

[hearthandhomemagick]

Food For Thought - Steven Universe

Hello there, I would like to tell you my story and journey with the amazingly beautiful, and wonderfully written TV Show...

Steven Universe.

I started watching this show when it first came out in High School. I mean, I was so excited to watch it that I anticipated the very first episode and sat down with snacks to observe it’s premier. I had become immediately enthralled not only with the art style, but also with the genuine wholesomeness and elucidations of processing emotions and life experiences. I was astounded that a kids show could express to me how to manage my emotions as well as connect with my moral standings. It’s a show I recommended to everyone, but often didn’t talk about because of it being a kids show, and me being almost being grown. It was my secret love until someone else brought it up.

This show stuck with me through the years, and helped me through some of my hardest moments in life. 

I remember watching the episode, “Mindful Education” and melting into Garnet’s lesson of mindfulness and self-awareness. I had been going through a lot at the end of 2016, graduating and going through a rough election along with having to move states for college. My opinions were forming in the extreme area and I had a fire to protect my thoughts and opinions with no restrain or any form of control of my emotional reality. I was rambunctious as much as I was head-strong and, at times, hard-headed all together. 

When this episode aired, I didn’t know why I loved Garnet and Stevonnie’s song, “Here Comes a Thought.” But I did, and it still carries with me into my life today. 

I want to discuss a specific time, though, that this episode saved my sanity and opened my eyes to a concept I didn’t understand when I first watched it. I was on social media, and was defending my opinions against quite a few people by myself. Eventually, I was getting nasty comments from a bunch of millennials telling me, 

“You’re too fucking stupid to understand, maybe you should go back to school, child.”

“You’re so emotional, and your emotions don’t matter here. Imagine being this dumb.”

“Imagine being a dumb bitch like Carly and saying you wanted to cut your penis off to look like a woman.” *NOTE I am not transgender, there is nothing wrong with being transgender and her insinuating such did not bother me. Her rhetoric insinuating trans was wrong is what irked me, this bitch was transphobic and had issues that she needs to repair in her own time. She wrote an entire post based around this context on her personal page using my real name, and she didn’t even know who I was.*

and my personal favorite, “Here’s the suicide hotline, I know your generation is prone to killing themselves and are overly emotional.”

Now, there were over 50, under 100, messages going back and forth where these people were just bullying me and I refused to back down. I wound up in a panic attack in my bedroom, literally wanting to kill myself because they were bullying me. The hotline would have come in handy if it were the actual hotline. I ended up going to my dad and older sister (my older sisters friend was the main one I was arguing with and her posy showed up on my post), because no one on the post was on my side.

Both told me, “If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” My sister told her friend to stop, and threatened the other girl for her nasty posts and comments. My dad tried to mediate on the post itself, but the people wouldn’t stop. I eventually had to take it down.

My family didn’t calm me down in this moment. Not even a little bit. It felt like a back-handed helping hand. Like they wanted to protect me, but also somewhat agreed with the people on the post.

The only thing that calmed my nerves in this moment, ultimately, was the song, “Here Comes a Thought.” 

I sat in my room, sobbing, hoping to myself that it would make sense as to why it was okay for these things to happen. The song soothed over my nerves, eventually releasing my muscles and giving me a sense ease. I was able to process and realized a few personal things as well. I didn’t realize it, but before long, I was meditating to the song on repeat. I kept telling myself, “I’m okay, this is a thought. A moment. I am not my thoughts. I am not this moment.”

This was simply one of the ways Steven Universe has helped me process and understand myself more. I bring this up because I came across and article today that disappointed me to the core.

The Steven Universe Fandom has toxic tendencies.

I was shook.

How could a child’s show be turned into something so negative? Something that was meant to promote self-awareness, self-love, acceptance of character, and understanding of others had been morphed into a gatekeepers safe haven.

Now I know this isn’t the majority, and before you get offended, hurt or start defending yourself, I want you to ask yourself if what you are defending is an action you would defend from anyone else. If it is, by all means defend your ground.

But the one concept that eludes me, and offers zero substance in terms of valid arguments, is that men can not watch this show. Let me explain why men NEED to watch this fucking show.

My boyfriend watched this entire show, episode for episode, and benefitted from it. This show offered him coping techniques, an understanding of why love should come before war, and mediating every situation so you see and understand every perspective. These are things children shows didn’t offer him growing up, he has often and openly verbalized his need for this show in his childhood because of certain traumas, and we often continue watching it even after seeing every single episode and movie.

This show was never meant for one or two groups of people, and if you feel that way then refer back to the writers themselves who were literally trying to teach the lesson in the show over and over again to NEVER EXCLUDE PEOPLE FROM YOUR GROUP. You exclude people, and you create a division, a war of sorts. You immediately have become the thing Steven Universe advocated against in the first place.

This also leads into the whole “art” situation in the fandom. 

This show is anti-bully. There are commercials for it and everything. It is expressed in multiple episodes why bullying is never a good thing in any situation. 

You simply cannot justify the hypocrisy in bullying someone out of self-expression that literally harms no one. You can’t justify it.

Think about it. You draw or sketch a piece of art that took you hours, or even a few minutes. It’s your favorite character, and maybe you yourself are going through some mental thoughts regarding your weight that lead you to draw the character thinner or bigger. Size shouldn’t matter in any capacity when relating a character to ones self. 

If you’re skinny, you’re beautiful. If you are thick or curvy, you are beautiful. If you are obese or overweight, you are beautiful. Weight doesn’t matter, but representation of body types in different characters does matter.

Imagine a child falls in love with a bigger character, but is experiencing body challenges where she is being picked on for being too thin or scrawny (it happens, I’ve seen it with my nieces). Who are you to say that making her favorite character look like her own body is wrong? Especially if art is a coping mechanism they use for mental health reasons.

Like Malachite, a fusion that was devastating and abusive in every way, you are taking the choice and voice of an entire being to make your actions and opinions “right” or “okay”.

There is so much more I could say on this show, and so much more I could say about the fandom. And I know it is not the majority of the fandom, but I did want to make everyone in the fandom aware that we are human.

None of us are stoic and balanced like Garnet, and even Garnet had problems in her relationship. None of us are strong and laid back like Amethyst, and even she had self-love issues. None of us are as analytical and organized as Pearl, and yet she had problems throughout the series. 

None of you are perfect, and to act as if you are is defeating the purpose of a show trying to teach you how to be responsible for yourself and your actions. I’m not perfect either, and preaching about a fandom I’m not a huge part of sounds counter-intuitive, I’m aware.

But my nieces want to watch this show. My nephew watches this show with me. My boyfriend’s niece is going to start watching the show. 

Please do not make a toxic environment for kids who need this show to grow up. Kids who experience trauma, and learn from this show deserve a safe space without people trying to justify bullying or force them to think that because they are a boy or girl, they can or can’t watch the show. Without people making people feel bad for being themselves.

Why don’t we create a new space? A space where everyone is accepted as they are, and negative behavior is addressed the same way the gems or Steven would address them. With education, perception awareness, and PATIENCE. 

I know some will say, “It’s not my job to raise your child.” and “It’s not my responsibility to make people aware of their tendencies.”

You’re right. It’s also not your responsibility to bully people into changing themselves to fit your dialogue. Simply put, you’re responsible for yourself alone. But you have no right to complain on someone's behavior, art or experiences if you are not willing to be patient with correcting said behavior in yourself first.  

Who knows, maybe I’m in the wrong here for not knowing the full story. All I’m saying is, if you see someone being a bully, being mean or even being a hypocrite, call them out in the sweetest way possible. Let them know we are facilitating a safe space for people who need a community rather than a closed off club.

Be the change you want to see in this world.

Learn, grow and prosper. 

I wish you all well and genuinely hope we can all expand our perspectives to fully understand each other in healthier and more communicative based ways. We deserve that sort of kindness from each other.

[harringtonheartache]

Daybreak | Part Sixteen

Part Seventeen

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Lab Escapee! Reader?

Summary: Part sixteen of this fic. What’s to happen and whose to blame?

Word Count: 2,800 +

Warning(s): Cussing, mild injury description

A/N: Just a thank-you to everyone who is reading & enjoying 🥺

Hopper paced in the kitchen of the Harrington home, his shoes squeaking against the hardwood every time he turned too quickly. A notepad, one-fourth used, sat turned over in his hands, and he stopped his marching to scratch words across a new page. He wrote it all out, hoping that seeing the story in the form of a list may provide him with a simplified perspective; a math problem to be solved on paper. With every bullet point he felt more like ripping the page from his notebook entirely, convinced that if anyone saw it, it would look like he had scribbled down an idea for a bad sci-fi movie. He finished the list anyway, and the last point written in all capital letters read: SHE SAYS WILL IS IN THE ‘UPSIDE-DOWN’. Big cartoonish quotes around the last word. 

The only person in the house who could claim it as his own residence entered the kitchen alone, joining Hopper who leaned over his notepad like a kid cramming for a test that he forgot to study for. Steve put one hand down on the counter and leaned against it, agitated. He asked a question simply: “what happens next,” and Hopper slowly raised his head from his notes. His face was dismayed, and it took him a second to think up a response. “Wh- what happens next? I don’t know what happens next, Harrington.” He spoke down to the teenager as he stood up to his full height. 

Steve gave him a defeated look, then hardened his expression to mirror Hopper’s own irritance. He wasn’t able to speak before Hopper continued. “If I am being honest, everything she told me today is…” he looked away from Steve, eyes still wide as his hand wavered in the air, beckoning the words to come to him. “... pretty much unusable,” he finished. 

“Unuse-” the word wasn’t even complete from Steve’s mouth, and he looked at Hopper wildly. “What do you mean? She just answered all of your questions, willingly, and you can’t use any of it? She just gave you so much on-” 

“Look, kid. What she told me sounds like delusion. Maybe the effects of trauma — I understand that the lab wasn’t good to her-”

“Good to her?” Steve’s second hand hit the countertop with a smack. “They fucking tortured her. But what she’s told you aren’t lies. I've seen this shit first-hand.” The curses came out clean, fear of authority gone.

Hopper sighed, picking up his notepad and backing up to lean back against the neighboring counter. He looked at Steve with a tight mouth, flipping closed his notes with a swing of his hand. “If I go into the station with the information she told me, nothing will happen. Even worse, CPS will come for the girl. Unidentifiable and without residence, she’ll be taken.”

Steve butted in again, eager to combat anything coming from the sheriff’s mouth. “No. If you call Child Protective Services, the lab will find out somehow and they’ll come get her.” He would admit that his voice sounded weak, like begging from a small child. His words were true though, and this fear that action he was without control over would be taken made his raging heartbeat audible to him in his ears. “She- she does have residence,”  he added breathily, one hand lifting from the counter as he looked down to himself. 

“You are not residence. She may be staying here, but this is not her legal home,” Hopper jabbed.

Steve sighed, a mixture of aggravation and defeat, head rolling back as he did so. 

“I know you want to protect her,” Hopper’s voice was low yet strong, careful to enunciate. It sounded like the voice of bad news, a tone that was rehearsed, and Steve wished he would turn this speech filter off. “But the things she is telling me are crazy,” Hop cursed himself for his inability to think of a better word to use, but crazy was just so fitting.

 “It’s all true, though. Ask me. Ask Dustin. We’ve witnessed it. You- you’ve witnessed it. I mean, you’ve seen the lab. Does that look like an innocent place?” Desperate was a fitting word for Steve’s tone, but it didn’t come off as artificial. 

Hopper didn’t say anything quite yet, a look of incapability flashing across his face as he hoped Steve would just continue. And he did, picking up momentum as he spoke. “We can show you. She can prove to you that she has powers, I swear, just not yet. You saw what she looked like when we pulled her out of that place, she needs to rest. But- but,” his eyes were wide now, and stared down Hopper frantically. “She can show you, okay? You need to believe us. She can’t fu-” he stuttered over his cursing this time, like he had realized it would be of no help. His facial expression softened as he finished the word anyway. “-fucking go back there again. I broke that promise once, I won’t do it again.”   

-

Hopper stepped down from Steve’s front porch, his legs tired despite the lack of work they had done, off to his car still decorated with fresh scratches across the hood. The argument had ushered him out after it’s conclusion, a lazy (yet genuinely unsure) ‘For now just rest up, we’ll figure this out’ acting as his last words and only instruction. He sat in his car for a few minutes before driving off, finally sliding a hand into the tight restraint of his front pocket and slipping from it his carton of cigarettes. He didn’t even bother to roll a window down before lighting one up. 

Steve stood in his doorway for a minute after the door had shut, a closing hand against it as he looked down at his shoes. The creak of unsure footsteps against the hardwood floor drew his head back up, and Nine stood before him: her presence small, her face apologetic. 

“Hey!” Steve said, the word a shocked reaction more than a greeting. “Do…” he trailed off as he took his hand from against the door, suddenly feeling the need to entertain, as if Nine were a house guest he was disappointing. “Want lunch? ...Maybe a late lunch, I guess.” His dire attempt to recover the easygoing atmosphere of their earlier morning came off unsettling, like a cover-up. He was desperate for both of them to forget Hopper’s visit, ignore the inevitable while they still had time to. He tried to lead the way with his proposition of a meal, but Nine’s gaze only wavered confusedly from down the hall. Sunlight poured in through the windows, the only source of light in the house as of right now, light switches left untouched for movie-viewing. It illuminated the corridor, painting it a warm color despite the feeling of cold in the space between them. She wanted to advance, perhaps shake the air of the stale feeling, but stayed where she was. “What’s happening?” she said, her voice quiet enough to be lost if it hadn’t been for the harsh silence. 

Steve shook his head as if he didn’t know what she was talking about, but could only bring himself to do so moderately. He warmed his expression and tied his voice in ribbons. “What do you mean?” 

“Don’t…” Nine stopped, one foot shifting her stance as she bounced uncomfortably. “Don’t pretend.” Her words were solid the second time, and her demeanor circled from worry to intolerance. She bit at her tongue, rethinking her delivery and considering backpedaling to relay it a little softer. She didn’t though, and Steve broke the extended silence with a sigh. He had been caught, and his arms hung at his sides as he took a few steps towards Nine. She breathed out too, a release of anxiety, and felt thankful for this break in what felt like a performance from both of them. 

“I don’t really know what’s happening,” Steve said, now landed fully in front of Nine as he looked down upon her grievingly. He wanted to place his hands on either one of her arms, rubbing them up and down lightly in a cheesy ‘we’ll get through this, honey!’ manner that you’d expect from a married couple. He stopped himself, figuring it was in bad taste. Patronizing, maybe, and he didn’t want her to feel like she deserved to be addressed that way. Like she was separate from the solution; like she was the problem, in fact. “Hopper doesn’t really know what to think, but you’re safe. He isn’t going to do anything that will put you in danger,” he told her instead. 

“He doesn’t believe me,” she said, looking up and drawing her eyebrows downward as she retreated back to her cold tone. “I have to show him, Steve,” his name came out softer, and she realized it was because she didn’t want to be mad at him. She wasn’t mad at him, and she wanted him to know this. 

His eyes turned bigger, but with sorrow, not shock. He tilted his head and tucked his bottom lip in his mouth to bite. 

He looked pained, and Nine considered his ask. ‘You can’t use your powers’ he had told her. It was a strange sentence to repeat in her head, as her body usually rattled with demands to do the exact opposite. It felt warm, the foreign request for self-preservation above all else, and she felt bad for not being able to enjoy it. Or feeling able to comply, either.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured,” Steve said, voice quieted like Nine had started out. “I know that it feels urgent, but you’re hurt, and you need to recover. That is what’s most important”. 

She looked at him, and they both had a sorrowful gloss over their eyes. 

“What about Will?” she asked, voice hushed again. 

“I know you want to help, but you have to take care of yourself first. We will find him,” Steve said, voice steady with a confidence he hoped would convince. His eyes peaked to her arm, still wrapped tightly in white, and contemplated how long he should wait to change the bandaging. ‘You have to take care of yourself first’ more accurately meant you have to let me take care of you first. 

Nine inhaled, tried to still her breath from shuttering. Her head felt heavy, and she looked away from him as if it would clear her mind, make her train of thought run smoother. 

“What if it’s my fault he’s gone?”

She phrased her words like a question, but it felt more like a confession the way it creeped from her mouth, slow and whispered like they were sharing secrets in a public setting. Will stood as a picture in her mind, the background a black void he threatened to fall into. Steve pulled his head back, questioning if he had heard her right and hoping that he hadn’t. He almost stammered out his own question, but stilled his tongue. He now did reach out, one hand cupping her shoulder, his grip strong. A little bit of tension she had been holding in her arm dropped intrinsically. 

“Nothing that has happened is your fault,” he said, whispering it like his own secret, voice sweet like syrup. He was careful to enunciate, wanting her to soak up every word. If he sharpened his words maybe he’d penetrate her doubt. 

Nine pictured Steve sitting in a small room, the man she could now attach a visual to — Hopper — standing in front of him. She thought of him stuttering over his answers, Hopper’s face glowing with a red rage as he snapped at him to spit it out. Consequences for Steve worse than a wounded ankle had begun emerging from the dark of her mind, the wordless arguing she heard from a room over looping in the background of the ugly scenario she couldn’t help her thoughts from drifting to. 

“Nine? Nothing is your fault,” Steve repeated. Nine looked up this time and stared at his black eye, still swollen. Purple skin that held a shine to it to remind her of a contradictory repercussion; an ulterior consequence that she had a better idea about. A situation that her mind could run with — she knew the people at Hawkins’ Lab. Go ahead, picture him bloodied and broken by the familiar faces in white coats, it would be so easy to do! 

“Nine…”

That black eye is just the beginning… 

Her mind was making her promises. 

“You’re not safe,” she barked, and Steve almost flinched. His widened eyes blinked once, twice before he spoke again. His voice was still gentle despite her increased volume. He couldn’t help it. “What are you talking about? I’m fine,” he told her, shaking his head. The shine of his bruised skin caught the light. 

“No you’re not, and neither is Will.”

“Will is going to be fine too. He’s stuck — in that place — but that’s not something to blame yourself for,” he said, his heart burning with the need for her understanding. He wanted to place his second hand on her other shoulder to parallel the first, shake some sense into her like the message would stick if he just tried harder. 

“He’s stuck there because of me!” Her voice faltered, cracked for the first time that Steve had heard. It shocked him; he was used to her steady speaking. “The thing that took him there, the monster that we saw in the woods, it got out because of me,” she said, retreating to a calmer volume, tone still unable to match. 

He stood in front of her, unsure and therefore silent. His hand dropped from her shoulder, and brushed her arm on the way down to reach for her hand instead. Nine twitched, pulled away from his grasp as tears she tried to blink away formed in her vision. She kept blinking as she opened her mouth to speak again, voice decreasing in strength between each pause. “I’m the one they used to reach it, and it followed me out when I escaped. It got Will and it hurt you and so will they.” Her certainties rushed from her mouth in a list, and little Will returned as a mental image; a supervisor of her words. 

Steve watched, mouth opening but ill-prepared. A single tear escaped from Nine’s bitter eyes, but she swiped it away like a drop of blood from her nose. “What they did to you, what they made you do, isn’t your fault. Nine, you can’t carry that guilt.” A second tear fell, but she didn’t bother with wiping it from her cheek this time. It ran hot down her face, then disappeared down the length of her neck. 

“You’re not safe helping me,” she said, words teetering on the verge of a whisper, admission leaving her throat like a broken realization that she just couldn’t help but say out loud. 

And Steve still stood, arms now drooped at his sides, heartbeat heard in his ears again. In his mind, ideas bounced around detailing what she meant — what would happen to him, how it would end. Theories spun around, himself a human target on a wooden board being struck by knives. He stilled his thoughts, latching onto only one.

“I don’t care,” he said. “I don’t care that I’m not safe, because you aren’t either, and that’s more important to me.” He looked into her eyes, and this time she believed that his words were true. She breathed out, a gentle shutter that looked like it should be accompanied by heavy tears; a dry sob that folded her shoulders, pain too tired for crying. She held out, begging Steve with silence to take back his proclamation, but he didn’t. 

“You are my priority, and I’m helping you no matter what.”

Nine didn’t speak back, just watched him as he slowly returned his hand to where it was on her arm. This time she let him, her body swaying slightly with her heartache. Steve bent down marginally, peering into her eyes as a determined tear finally dropped to her face. He raised his other hand, quickly placing his palm against her cheek, three fingers folded underneath her chin, and brushed it away with his thumb. He took his hand away immediately — like he hadn’t thought through the action and didn’t want to linger. Like it was purely instinctual. Then, he wrapped his arm around to place a gentle hand on her back, guiding her to his chest in a tight embrace. He rested his chin on her head as he held her to him, and his warm body slowed her raging heart. “We’re going to be okay,” he breathed as they rocked back and forth in the empty house.

---

Tag List: @ggclarissa @gurl-ly @hyp-oh-critical @alewifex @we-are-band-sexuals @cpt-lamby @l0ve-0f-my-life @easvtohate @used-avocado @kwyloz @itzpikapie @samwise-babeyy @rapsfryingpan @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @mochminnie @peterwandaparker @ayamecrevan @lilyhw1 @seninjakitey @lulurose17 @write-from-the-heart @harringtonlr @sledgy14​ @stranger-names​

[theotherackerman]

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan.

NOTES:

Flashback: Historia, age 13

Current time: Tuesday, January 5th

chapter nine: i wanna be your endgame

Historia had joined the group in junior high when her life had been uprooted. The boys had immediately swarmed her, showering her in attention. Much of that attention was unwanted, especially from Samuel and Daz.

It had been gym class when the teacher had proclaimed it was time for dodgeball. It was boys versus girls.

Historia was okay at this game but she noticed Daz had taken a liking to trying to get her out.

“Hey Historia, if I get you out, you have to go out with me!” He yelled.

“Hey! Same with me!” Samuel added.

She had done fairly well dodging and hiding but when two balls were headed directly her way, one from Samuel and one from Daz, she suddenly felt doomed.

Just as they were about to hit her, someone shoved her out of the way. Historia fell to the ground.

“Get them, Mikasa and Annie,” the girl with short brown hair said as she offered her hand to Historia.

Mikasa and Annie looked at one another, then nodded. They threw with deadly precision, getting both Daz and Samuel out.

Historia took the girl’s hand and she pulled her to her feet.

When lunch came, Historia was once again being pestered by Daz.

“You should sit with me,” he insisted.

Historia was too nice to say no. She needed friends here, even if they were creepy friends. Before she could answer, someone else spoke up.

“She can’t because she’s sitting with us,” said the same girl who had saved her in dodgeball.

Historia looked over at her new hero.

“You’re such a bitch, Ymir,” Daz scoffed.

“Oh wow, haven’t heard that one before,” Ymir said as she grabbed her lunch tray and walked away.

Historia followed the girl to the only table that seemed not to have a certain clique. She sat down in between Ymir and the girl with the black hair who had saved her earlier in the day.

“Alright, this is Historia, everyone,” Ymir announced. “I’m Ymir. That’s all I’ve got to say about myself. Let me introduce you to everyone else. So on this side of the table we’ve got Mikasa. Don’t let her looks fool you, she can kick anyone’s ass. She is pretty good at writing and playing piano too. Us girls go over to her house a lot for sleepovers.”

Mikasa gave Historia a small wave.

“Then there’s Annie, our resident math genius. Her dad is teaching her to play guitar. She’s the other half of our ass kicking team.”

“Hi,” Annie said before returning to drinking her milk.

“If anyone bothers you, just get one of those two. The one stuffing her face is Sasha. She’s in the school marching band, percussion.”

“Hi Historia,” Sasha said after swallowing the food she had been eating.

“Connie is next to Sasha. His parents own the farm next to Sasha’s with a huge pumpkin patch. He’s an all around good dude.”

“Aw, Ymir. You do like me. Hey Historia!” Connie called.

“The last person on this side is Jean. He’s….he’s Jean. If he gives you too much shit, just call him horse face. After you get to know him, he’s okay...most of the time.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Ymir? Stop calling me horse face!” Jean yelled from the end of the table.

Ymir ignored Jean, pointed to the boy sitting across from her. “This is Reiner. He’s probably going to be captain of the high school football team one day. He’s okay...most of the time.”

“What do you mean by that?!” Reiner asked.

“That’s Bertolt, he’s Reiner's best friend. Pretty cool guy once you get to know him.”

“Hi,” Bertolt said, not fully making eye contact.

“That’s Eren. He can be a bit of hot head sometimes. He and Jean get into a lot of arguments. He’s a pretty good guy though. Then right next to him is Armin. He’s our other genius. Armin, Mikasa, and Eren are literally inseparable. Find one, you’ll probably find the other two. Unless their class schedules split them up.”

“You’re not wrong,” Eren said before going back to talk to Mikasa.

“Hi,” Armin said as he gave a small wave.

“Floch is...well...he’s Floch. You’ll see what I mean,” Ymir introduced the second to last person.

“What does that mean?!” Floch asked.

Jean laughed, “your introduction was worse than mine!”

Ymir continued to ignore Jean and Floch. “ And the last person is Marco. He’s probably the  most normal out of all of us. He’s pretty smart too. Well, that’s everyone.”

“You’re in my piano class,” Mikasa said with a smile.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Historia prepared herself for the prying questions that would come from the table about her family, her money. She had already experienced them in most of her classes.

“Do you like playing piano?” Mikasa asked before sipping her milk.

Historia’s face lit up. It was the first time someone had actually asked her opinion on something.

“Yeah, actually, I do. What about you?” Historia bit into her sandwich.

Mikasa nodded before putting her milk back on the tray. “Yeah, my cousin plays. He had been teaching me. He’s a lot more helpful than Mr. Grice.”

“He’s awful! I thought it was just because I was new!”

“No, he just doesn’t know how to teach.”

When the bell rang, the group scattered. Mikasa, Ymir, and Historia ended up walking the same way to science class together. When they arrived, there was Daz in the front row.

“Hey Historia, I saved you a seat,” he called to her.

Mikasa just glared at him before taking Historia’s hand and led Historia to the lab table she shared with Ymir.

Daz said nothing.

---------------------

The coffee shop was mostly empty.

Ymir had been grateful for that.

“Hello! Welcome to Ral’s coffee shop!” The barista called from behind the counter. “So what can I get you two?”

“I’ll take an Americano with an extra shot, toffee syrup, 4 sugars, and cinnamon,” Ymir ordered.

“Can I get a macchiato with white chocolate syrup?” Historia ordered.

“Sure thing! I’ll get both of those done and bring them to you!” The barista said with a smile.

They left the register and wandered to a small table in the back corner of the coffee shop.

“You recognize anyone here from when you worked here?” Historia asked as she sat down.

“No, I don’t see Petra anywhere. She might have got married to Oluo finally,” Ymir said as she took the seat across from Historia.

A few moments later, the barista brought over their coffees.

“I never knew your mom was bipolar,” Historia said before taking a drink.

“Yeah, it’s not something I like to talk about,” Ymir muttered as she stared at her coffee cup.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you talk to anyone besides me about your mom.”

Ymir took a drink of her coffee. This was not a conversation she had prepared for. “I said something to Mikasa about her the other day. It was about how I haven’t visited her grave since she died and my dad’s before that. Not a big deal. I mean what is there to say about her?”

“And your dad was a soldier, right?”

Ymir nodded.

“Yeah, see that you told me. That’s why Levi likes you so much.”

Ymir scoffed, “Levi feels pity for me. You know that’s why I don’t talk about this. I don’t want to see that pity in your eyes.”

“I don’t pity you, Ymir.”

“Okay…” She said sarcastically before taking a drink.

“Really? Deflecting again?” Historia rolled her eyes. “I thought we were supposed to talk.”

“Yeah, we were until you started bringing my parents up.”

“Oh, so are we not going to talk now? Ymir, if you don’t want this, just say it.”

“Are you really stupid enough to think I don’t want this? You’re the one who pushes me away. Dating Reiner, that farm boy. Always keeping me close enough but never actually saying your feelings for me. I’ve put it out there, Historia. I’ve loved you and been in love with you since we were thirteen. I’ve never hidden it. You’re the one sending the mix signals.”

“I’m not sending mixed signals!”

“You are!”

“Oh. Okay! So you just go on dates with other people? I didn’t realize we had an open relationship!” Ymir yelled.

“We never had a real relationship because you never asked me to be in one!” Historia yelled back at her.

The barista rounded the corner. “We had some customers complain…”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m leaving anyway,” Ymir stood up and pushed past the barista.

The cold January air hit her square in the face as she walked towards the bookshop where Sasha was waiting for them.

“YMIR!” She heard Historia’s voice behind her.

“What?” Ymir said as she turned around.

“That’s it?” Historia asked as she caught up. The heels of her boots clicked on the sidewalk.

“What’s it?”

“This? It’s over?”

“According to you, it never began.”

“Ymir...please don’t.”

“Don’t what? There’s nothing left for me to do. You think I have to ask you out.”

“Because I don’t know if you actually like me! How do I know it’s not because of my money or my family. All that farmer boy wanted was….”

Ymir kissed her, silencing her.

When she pulled away, she saw Historia smile. “You talk way too much, you know that?”

Historia laughed as Ymir took her hand into hers as they continued their walk to the bookstore.

“So…” Historia started.

“So what? I’ve proposed to you like fifteen times now, you turned me down. You wounded my pride. You get to do all the asking from now on.”

“....are you going to be my girlfriend then?”

“Are you asking?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

----------------------

This damn song was going to be the death of Mikasa.

Lyrics were not coming as they normally did.

And why couldn’t she stop thinking about the song on that damn flash drive?

What song hadn’t she finished with Eren?

And what could Eren have possibly done with it to improve it?

She didn’t want to ask Levi for the box back. Not yet, it was too soon. She had checked with him to see if there had been a letter. Levi confirmed that Eren wasn’t lying. There was indeed a letter and if she ever wanted it, it was there.

She sat in room, pen tapping on her notebook.

She needed a response to Eren’s song now. She wanted to tell him exactly how she had felt remembering things that had happened between them.

His song had been really beautiful.

That wasn’t the most surprising thing of the night though.

No, that went to Armin deciding to stay at Eren’s place with him. It was good for them though.

Not to mention that Mikasa had been concerned about Eren staying alone after what he told her.

With Armin there, things would be easy.

She heard a strange sound coming from the bathroom.

Like someone was getting sick.

She tried to remember who was in the house.

Levi and Hange were at dog training for the puppies.

Sasha had gone with Ymir and Historia.

She heard crying which pulled her from her thoughts.

She left her room and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Annie?” She asked.

“I’m fine,” a cracked voice said from the other side of the door.

“I don’t believe you.”

Water ran and turned back off. The door opened to reveal a tear streaked face.

“Leave it alone, Mikasa. You’ve got enough to worry about,” Annie said as she pushed past Mikasa.

“You’re not eating and then…”

“No! No.”

“Well I know you tried the extreme diet once.”

“It was a fast and no. It’s not that. I’m fine, really.” Annie walked back to the room she was staying in.

“Annie, something is going on. You asked Levi to live here when you could have gone home to your dad. Sasha, I get living here. It’s far from the farm. You’re only a few blocks away.”

“I said leave it alone, Mikasa.”

“Annie, did your dad kick you out?”

Annie threw her arms up defeated. “Okay, yeah. He did. Is that what you want to hear?”

“No, I just know you better than almost anyone here. Well, besides Armin, he knows you best.”

Annie sat down on the bed, “can we not talk about Armin right now?”

“Did you have a fight?” Mikasa asked as she sat down next to her.

Annie immediately started crying again as she shook her head. Mikasa didn’t know what to do. Annie kept everything inside. It wasn’t because she didn’t care, it was the opposite. People sometimes would write Annie off as unfeeling but that was simply not true. She just didn’t speak unless she felt like she could add something to the conversation.

Annie ended up resting her head on Mikasa’s shoulder while Mikasa just held her. Mikasa had never seen Annie like this. She was always so put together so whatever it was, it had to be big.

After a while of Annie just crying, she finally spoke, “you’re the only one besides my dad and Levi who know. You can’t tell anyone.”

“You told Levi?” Mikasa asked as she pulled away.

“I didn’t have much of a choice. I needed a place to stay but I needed to give him a reason.”

“Okay?”

“Swear to me. Not Historia, Ymir, or Sasha. Especially not Eren or Armin.”

“I swear.”

Annie looked at Mikasa before holding out her pinky to the other girl. Mikasa wrapped her own pinky finger around Annie’s.

Annie took a deep breath before speaking, “I’m pregnant.”

[phcking-detective]

Baby I Can See Heaven in Your Eyes

Rating: E

Tags: dirty talk / voice kink, heavy petting, dry humping, delayed / denied orgasm, hair pulling, light pet play (Nines is called kitten and told to "sit"), oral fixation, crying, kissing and cuddling as (brief) aftercare before the scene continues, sexual possessiveness, fingering, sub space

TW: sexual roleplay that Gavin is Nines’s “owner” and Nines is his “companion model,” like an at-home Traci; no kink negotiation beforehand, but Gavin checks in with Nines frequently for explicit consent; Nines has a vagina (no gender play)

***

Nines cannot wait for his human to return home, so that he can test his most recent experiment. Thus far, he has tested a phallus, a vaginal component, two dildos, and a vibrator.

He is looking forward to also gathering data on Gavin's dick.

"Hello, detective," he greets the moment of the human's arrival.

Thing One and Thing Two greet him as well, One by rubbing against his legs and purring, and Two by screaming for attention. They have both been fed, and Nines plans on giving them their favorite electronic mouse to hunt as a distraction so he can have the human to himself for the evening.

"Hey, baby," Gavin says. He kneels down and pets both cats. "Hello beasties. Yes, hello. Are you lying? Have you been fed?"

"Yes, they have," Nines answers for them. "Please ignore their wails of alleged hunger."

"Dirty rotten liars," Gavin calls them affectionately.

Nines remotely deploys the mouse with a swirl of his LED. It is big enough to contain a small amount of wet food inside, and the "beasties" quickly chase it into the kitchen.

Gavin stands up with a snort. "Oh, did you want attention too? What've you been doing today?"

"Yes," Nines says shamelessly. "I spent the afternoon thoroughly masturbating myself. How was work?"

Gavin tries to hang his jacket on a coat hook that does not exist and drops it on the floor. "You—what?"

"I spent the afternoon thoroughly masturbating myself. How was work?" Nines asks.

"Not as fun as that," Gavin mutters as he picks up the jacket and tries again. "Did you … uh. Have fun?"

"Yes. I should really thank Connor," Nines says.

Gavin pulls a face. "You fucked Connor? In my—shit, OK. Well. Our apartment? Not on my bed though, right? That's still mine."

Nines rolls his eyes in return. "No, Gavin. I did not fuck Connor. He simply informed me that sex is not merely for reproduction and that it is not hyperbole when humans say they want to fuck someone."

Gavin stares at him. Nines understands. This is all very new information that seemed dubious to him as well.

"Apparently, humans really are out there 'fucking' one another," Nines explains.

"… yeah," Gavin says.

Nines analyzes him, noting his elevated heart rate. "Did you know about this, detective?"

"I—don't scan me!" Gavin snaps. "My sex life is none of your business."

"Oh." Nines feels his LED circle yellow-yellow-red. "But you are sexually attracted me, and Connor said that is not merely an annoying physical response on par with hiccups. Do you not want to have sex with me?"

"On par with …" Gavin stops and rubs his hands across his face. "Phck. We're really going to talk about this, huh? We're just gonna have a whole goddamn conversation about it."

"Yes," Nines says. "Detective."

Gavin puts his hands down to glare at him. "OK, just because I got drunk one time—"

"You get drunk fre—"

"AHT!" Gavin cuts him off with the no-noise he uses on the cats. "One time and ordered a companion android, who—"

"You did not," Nines reminds him. "You googled 'tall smexy anboid' 'want hot robo friemd' and 'am robots gay question-mark question-mark question-mark' before passing out."

"I hate you."

"You think I'm pretty."

"AUGH!"

Gavin stalks into the living room and throws himself onto the couch. Nines does not understand why his human insists on making everything so emotional and difficult and emotionally difficult.

He clearly desires android sexual companionship, given his drunken attempt to order a companion model — [confirmed].

He is sexually attracted to Nines, given that he mistook the RK900's first appearance at his apartment the next morning (entirely coincidental; Captain Fowler assigned them as partners) to be the companion model he attempted to order — [confirmed].

He did not reject the "companion model," despite all commentary from other humans (Cyberlife employees; DPD employees) indicating Nines is [creepy], [inhuman], [terrifying], et cetera, et cetera. Gavin instead labeled him a [big pretty bitch] and [all my phcking wet dreams come true, goddamn].

"You think I'm pretty," Nines repeats.

Gavin finally lifts his head out of his hands. "Yes. You're the prettiest fucking sass bot ever produced."

[confirmed]

"You find me sexually attractive as well, and it is true that humans actually act on those physical desires, yes?" Nines asks.

Gavin sighs and lets his head drop against the back of the couch. "Yeah."

"I have installed a vaginal component, and I—"

"Oh my god," Gavin whispers at the ceiling.

"—have confirmed I enjoy penetrative stimulation," Nines continues. "You are in possession of a phallus, correct?"

Gavin looks up at him. "OK, so you're bored of dildos and you want to try out my dick?"

"Is anyone other than your hand making use of it?" Nines replies.

"Phck off."

"Gladly."

Nines takes a seat on Gavin's lap. This is his [favorite] spot. Now he knows why it flusters the human so much, and also possibly why he enjoys it so much. Could he have been experiencing [sexual arousal] even without a genital component? Interesting.

"Baby," Gavin groans.

Nines relocates the human's hands to his thighs. Gavin obligingly begins rubbing them, almost reaching up high enough to cup his ass. He has sat in this spot before, firstly to mimic the cats, because they seemed to enjoy sitting on Gavin's lap and being petted. Then for [cuddling] and telling each other about their day.

Of course he had noted Gavin's reaction to this; he simply did not categorize it as relevant. The human's stomach also sometimes growled while around the cats, but that bodily reaction did not mean Gavin literally wanted to or would ever eat either one of them. Human bodies sometimes just do things.

But now Nines can recognize he is the [cause] of this particular reaction.

(And also note his new genital component's reaction to his human rubbing his thighs and calling him baby in that tone of voice.)

"Detective," Nines says in return.

Gavin huffs out a growl. "Dammit, Nines. You should—you can … go get another human. Or android, I guess. Just. Someone else."

Nines pulls back enough to ensure he can fully scan the human. Arousal — [confirmed]. No detection of [fear]. Gavin wants this and presumably is not coerced or intoxicated.

But admittedly, Nines did not have a social module pre-installed. He has learned from experience, observing humans in his new profession as a librarian, and … mimicking Gavin's cats.

(Not that he's told that last fact to Connor.)

"Clarify," Nines demands. "Do you not want this?"

Gavin, much like his cats when told to get off the counter, looks away and pretends not to hear him.

"Am I sexually assaulting you?" Nines asks.

"Wha—" Gavin finally gives him a reaction. "No! Fuck, god."

"I am requesting that you fuck me."

Gavin gives him a slow look up and down. "Closest I'm gonna get to heaven, huh?"

Nines preens under his gaze. Question answered, now reassured that his actions are not harming the human, he deploys another helpful tactic he has learned from Thing One and Thing Two.

He repeatedly butts his face into Gavin's to request attention.

"Kiss me."

"Nines, I—"

"Kiss me. Kiss me."

Gavin grabs a fistful of his hair and yanks him into a kiss. Nines ignores the notifications of a mission successfully completed as they scroll across his HUD in order to focus on the experience.

For how roughly Gavin maneuvered him into it, the [kiss] is surprisingly gentle. His lips press insistently against Nines's, drawing back slightly and then pressing again, but it is nothing like the people on TV who seem to be eating each other's faces.

It is … very nice. Warm. The human's lips aren't quite soft, due to chapping from the cold Detroit weather, but the texture is so [interesting]. And the contrast between lips and stubble and the slight pull of the hand still gripping his hair makes his internal cooling fans kick in to abate the sudden rise in temperature.

Then, just as Nines lets his guard down, Gavin bites his lip.

It does not [hurt] or cause any damage of course, but Nines still opens his mouth to ask why—and the human uses that split second to delve his tongue inside.

Analysis explodes across the android's HUD. Gavin's DNA, the hormones present in his saliva, traces of coffee. (And when was the last time he had a meal? Nines should be detecting actual food as well [reminder: my human has not yet consumed his daily caloric intake])

Gavin pulls back and separates their mouths. Unacceptable. Nines pushes forward and puts his own tongue inside the human's mouth to continue his analysis.

For some reason, Gavin pushes him away.

"No tongue until you learn how to kiss," he's told.

Nines does not pout. He presents a perfectly reasonable argument. "I was analyzing you."

"Yeah, that's why I made the rule," Gavin replies. "There's a difference between kissing and analyzing. Also, I need to breathe."

Well. The second fact does hold some merit …

"We can still make out." Gavin shifts his hand from Nines's hair to cup his face. "Just let me lead, all right baby?"

Nines nods and obediently holds still until Gavin guides his face back down. The kiss starts slow again, and the next nip at his bottom lip only tugs on it slightly before Gavin lets go and kisses him again. Nines tries to follow the pattern of when to press forward and when to tilt his—

Gavin's hands slide over the tops of his thighs and then inside them, thumbs pressed close to his groin. Nines barely has time to process this change (he is still being [kissed]) before the detective uses his grip to pull his thighs wider over his lap.

"You wanna show me what I'm working with?" Gavin asks him, his voice low and rough and … very unfair.

Nines leans forward into the human's arms, dropping his head down to rest on his shoulder. He needs less stimulus to process all of this. He restricts his audio input to ignore any sounds outside of the apartment. The mouse program gets abandoned, so the cats will likely be able to bat it out from under the fridge soon. All he needs is Gavin, Gavin, Gavin.

"Touch me," he asks.

The thumb slowly drawing circles on the inside of his left thigh lifts up to stroke over his pubic plate, currently equipped with a vaginal component. It only takes a gentle press to push the fabric of his yoga pants into the slick mess Gavin has made of him.

"Your cunt all wet for me, baby?"

The profanity shivers through him, and Nines nods against his neck. That answer apparently was not [adequate] though, because Gavin takes his thumb nearly away, resting so lightly atop the fabric Nines can only feel his human body heat.

"Need an answer, Nines."

Nines works his mouth silently for a few seconds before remembering to activate his vocal unit. "Yes, Detective."

Gavin hums and it's almost a groan. Nines presses closer and licks his neck. That is not [kissing]. This analysis of his sweat and skin should not be forbidden.

"I'm going to touch you," Gavin tells him.

Nines lifts his head to exhale a cloud of steam. It does very little to lower his rising core temperature, not when Gavin's thumb swipes up to pet across the crotch of his yoga pants until he finds his clit, grown swollen and plump. He chose a larger model, and he had very reasonable—

"Gaaav …"

—reasons. Reasonable … reasons. Yes. Many of them. Aesthetics and—and—more sensors to—

"Oh, baby," Gavin murmurs in that voice. "You need it, kitten? Look at you, you're trembling, and I'm barely even touching you."

That is an unfair assessment. Nines tries to formulate the argument but blows out steam again instead. Gavin has his voice, and the way he spread Nines's thighs so wide, he can clearly see the growing damp patch he's making.

The way that also leaves Nines's [cunt] spread wide, lips separated and hole clenching around nothing.

It feels … [filthy]

[embarrassing]

[exciting]

"So good for me." Gavin pulls Nines's face out of the crook of his neck by his hair. "Let me see you."

Nines goes with the motion. The human has a firm grip on his hair, right at the root, so the tugging doesn't actually [hurt], although the complete lack of resistance likely helps.

But he can hardly see his detective past all the error notifications crowding up his HUD.

Gavin apparently likes what he sees. "Beautiful. My pretty baby."

He doesn't stop circling his thumb around Nines's clit as he says it, and Nines whimpers. He tries to push his hips forward to get more pressure, more touching, more of anything, but Gavin takes his hand away entirely to still his hips.

"Please," Nines gasps.

Gavin gives him a stern look. "Behave."

Nines shudders all over, a full body malfunction. His core temperature has risen almost to dangerous levels. Gavin tugs his head back, forcing his chin up. Nines doesn't understand why (is he no longer allowed to view his human?) until a prompt flashes in red to exhale.

He releases a burst of steam that would have been too hot for human comfort, but Gavin has already preconstructed that. He is allowed to lower his head again once he's completed a few breathing cycles. His temperature and stress levels begin a slow descent as he settles into the knowledge that Detective Reed will take care of him.

"Please, Detective." Nines blinks several times to clear all the notifications. "I will be good."

He saves several still images of the way Gavin looks as he considers: his eyes more black than grey-green, the slight flush across his cheeks, the obvious press of his erection inside his jeans, yet he still remains in control.

(Of them both.)

Gavin lifts up the hand on his hip and offers Nines his thumb. Nines gratefully lets his mouth fall open, thumb gently pressing inside to rest heavily on top of his tongue. His eyes drift shut to focus solely on the analysis he receives.

All too soon, the thumb is withdrawn, but he doesn't have time to protest before it's pressing back into his clit again, even wetter than before, the damp fabric hardly even a barrier at all.

And then does not move.

"What do you say," Gavin asks lowly.

"Th—" Nines gasps. "Thank you, De—Detect—ohhh."

Gavin's own legs underneath him prevent him from closing his thighs around the hand between his legs, and the hand in his hair holds his head hostage so that he cannot look away. He doesn't know what to do with his hands until he realizes that at some point, he put them behind his back, an old program partially activated to stand at parade rest.

This is much better.

"You like this baby?"

Nines tries to nod against the hand in his hair and forces his LED to flash blue along the yellow and red.

"Good boy," Gavin praises. "Just gonna check when your light's been red for a while, all right?"

Nines doesn't answer this time. He just sinks down into it, the obedience of holding perfectly still, the care Gavin shows him, letting someone else have control for once. He enjoyed the way masturbation made his awareness of physical sensation temporarily overtake his thoughts, but he did not expect … this.

Except just when he feels his orgasm approaching, Gavin takes his hand away. He must make some sort of distressed noise, because his detective immediately reassures him.

"Shhh, shhh, I've still got you. You're good, so good for me, baby."

Gavin rearranges their legs as he speaks, holding both hands on Nines's sides to help support and balance him with his hands still gripping his wrists behind his back. The relocation stops with their legs staggered, Nines kneeling with one of Gavin's legs between both of his own instead of straddling his whole lap.

"You wanted to sit in my lap, didn't you kitten?" Gavin says. It is not a question. "So sit."

Nines doesn't understand, but he lowers himself back down anyway to [sit] on top of—

Oh.

Both of Gavin's hands go to his hips this time, showing him how to grind down on the thigh between his legs. The pleasure is not as [focused] as being petted with his thumb, but he finally gets pressure against his entrance as well.

"C'mere."

Nines doesn't realize he's broken posture to slump forward until Gavin pulls him in all the way, carefully nestling him to rest against his chest—although the android does still have to bend slightly to put their heads on an even level due to the height difference.

"Is this what you wanted?" Gavin turns his head to speak softly in his ear. "All those times you crawled in my lap, sat here like this, knowing how goddamn hard you get me?"

Nines whimpers and takes it, almost like a punishment, but so [good]. He only moves his hips as Gavin's hands direct them, as his leg pushes up and his hands pull him down.

"I shouldn't even be this nice to you." Gavin lets out a sigh. "But fuck it, you're cute. Go ahead and take a freebie, baby."

Nines tries to make his next whine sound a bit more questioning, to indicate he doesn't understand the meaning of that either. Luckily, Gavin pays attention. He always pays attention to Nines, in a [good] way, not afraid or gossiping about him behind his back.

"I'm going to let you come this time," he explains.

Gavin drops a kiss against his temple as Nines fixates on the very specific phrasing [this time]. Now he's the one a little scared, but not bad, not bad, it's too [good] to be [bad].

"Wh-when?" Nines manages to ask.

Gavin laughs, deep and almost mean. The not-fear shivers through him again.

He does not receive an answer.

***

Gavin knows he's a bad man. He's a very, very bad man, but goddamn if the universe hasn't rewarded him for it.

"That's it," he tells the gorgeous android rubbing off in his lap. "Next time I won't even have to show you how. Leave my hands free so I can have a smoke."

A cigarette is damn near the only thing that could make this any better. If this isn't a one-time curiosity experiment for Nines, he'll really have to try that the next time.

But for now, he focuses on the present, the absolute goddamn gift Nines is.

"Been waiting for this all day, haven't you?"

He doesn't give Nines time to answer. His thigh flexes underneath the slick cunt desperately grinding into it, and his android whimpers out static.

"How many times have you come already?" he asks.

"S-s-seven," Nines answers through a glitch.

Well. Gavin has to at least work him up to his own number, doesn't he?

"And no refractory period. Goddamn." Gavin sighs in mild envy while petting through his hair. "I could keep you here, just like this, all evening long. Keep you coming and begging for hours."

Nines lets out a grinding noise that might be the android equivalent of a sob. His hips finally lose their rhythm under Gavin's hand, just chasing his own pleasure now. He really shouldn't allow that so easily, but then again, Nines is a virgin who's never done kink before. Or anything else, actually.

So Gavin lets him have it.

But since he's a bad man, not an altruistic one, he pulls Nines's head back by his hair to see his pretty face, eyes wide and unfocused, lips slightly parted. There's a soft blue blush across his cheek's he's never seen before, and his LED practically strobes in his temple.

"Good boy, gonna make you come every time you sit this pretty little pussy in my lap."

Nines squeezes his eyes shut and whines. That's all right. He's too fucked out to make eye contact anyway, but one thing that isn't allowed …

Gavin presses his thumb inside the android's lips, pushing down on his tongue until his mouth drops open. He rubs the pad of it back and forth against the soft muscle for a moment, then down to smear the wet faux-saliva across his bottom lip.

"Keep your mouth open," he orders. "You're only allowed to come if you open that pretty mouth for me."

Nines gives a jerky nod, and Gavin sits back to enjoy the show. He pets his free hand across the android's chest and sides, feeling him up through the thin t-shirt as he rides his leg like he downloaded a Traci program to do it.

Eventually, the android starts spinning more red than yellow, hot air pushed out of his mouth with nearly even exhale, and he pushes his tongue out farther over his lips to show that his mouth is open.

And ohhh, Gavin is so bad. He rubs his thumb over that soft, pink tongue until it's nice and wet, then reaches up underneath his shirt to rub circles around one hard nipple.

Nines starts letting out shuddering sobs that Gavin lets wash over him, feeling them go straight to his dick like the android is being a good little companion and licking up his shaft. Next time, next time …

Finally, he scrounges around deep down in his soul to find some mercy.

"Come on my leg, baby."

He barely gets to "my" before Nines obeys, face dropping slack and LED pulsing a steady Yellow. Red. Yellow. Gavin gets to watch as his tongue gives the tiniest little flexes, like he's sucking cock in a dream.

If he were nice, he'd press his thumb back inside and help his orgasm along by giving Nines something to suck on.

Instead, he waits it out. Good training requires the sub to be just as desperate for it as you are, and he's going to let Nines work his way through a few orgasms with his mouth open and searching, so that when he finally presses the head of his cock into those sweet pretty lips, his android won't feel anything but gratitude.

When Nines finally slumps forward and begins crying against his neck, Gavin lets go of his hair and rubs both hands up and down his back.

"Shhh, hey, I got you," he says softly. "You were good, so good, baby. It's OK, just let it all out."

Nines sniffles, then begins studiously licking up his tears. Gavin would be a little concerned about his sub getting too deep into the headspace for their first time, except Nines licking his face, neck, and any other body part he can reach is pretty typical.

"Did that feel good?"

That gets a slow sigh of air that's just warm, not scalding hot. Gavin rubs a hand up the android's chest next, and Nines starts up a rumbling purr. Blue light spins in the corner of his eye. So he'll take all that as a yes.

"You want kisses?" he asks next.

Nines immediately butts his face against Gavin's cheek. He shouldn't have let the asshole learn how to be social from his fucking cats.

"All right, all right," he grumbles.

Gavin scoops up the lanky android in his arms as much as he can and turns them to the side so they can lay down on the couch, with himself on top of course. Nines lounges back against the cushions, black hair fanning out around his head like a dark halo. He reaches for Gavin and tugs on his shirt when he spends too long admiring the view.

Since he's already so spoiled anyway … Gavin obliges him with kisses. Nines hums and purrs throughout it, LED now a gentle baby blue.

"Did you like that?" Gavin asks quietly between the two of them.

He should have started this scene with that—some rules and a safeword at least—but he'll try to make up for it now with the aftercare.

Nines nods shyly, presenting his face for more kisses. Gavin gives them to him, but he keeps each one light and short to help them both wind down. They need to talk about if this will be an ongoing arrangement, and if Nines just wants to sub or if he wants to really dig deep and roleplay as Gavin's personal companion android.

Gavin tries to open up that conversation. "What do you want now, baby?"

Nines slowly opens his eyes and blinks up at him. His LED turns a slow, lazy yellow for a moment while he glances down.

Then he looks back up and clearly says, "Dick."

Gavin reflexively looks down at his own crotch—which is apparently where Nines was looking, not just demurely averting his gaze, the thirsty little bitch. He meets Nines's eyes again and sees the android watching him expectantly, like a pillow princess waiting to be serviced.

"Don't know how anyone mistook you for a detective," Gavin tells him. "When you're obviously such a slut."

Nines blushes and closes his eyes, but he doesn't bother to hide his preening smirk.

"But you're gonna have to earn that, baby," Gavin continues.

Nines opens his eyes to shoot him the wounded look he learned from their little beasties when being removed from the bed so Gavin can get some goddamn sleep without an eight pound cat laying on his face.

"I can be good," he promises. He glances down between them again. "I do not have a refractory period."

And then he looks up at Gavin from underneath his lashes with those big blue eyes, and all thoughts of kink negotiation and safe words take a running leap and crash through the window.

"I'm going to take off your pants and play with that pretty pussy of yours until you start crying again."

Nines nods eagerly. He even lifts his hips like a good boy to help Gavin peel the yoga pants off him, a sticky strand of lubrication stringing between his lips and the crotch for a moment before the thread breaks. That gets the android blushing and whirring again, but Gavin just chuckles.

He lifts the t-shirt too, but instead of taking it off, he tucks it behind Nines's neck. It's a pitiful restraint, especially against an RK model, but Nines obligingly tucks his arms back behind his back, then waits obediently for Gavin to begin.

And this had better be a long-term thing, because Gavin doesn't think he can ever let anyone touch his android after this. Not with how Nines is looking at him, so open and sincere, without a single doubt that whatever happens next will be good and safe.

He might be a bad man, but shit. At least he knows that. And he also knows how many losers and assholes are out there, sociopaths and abusers and people who are honestly just too dumb and selfish to notice when they hurt someone.

No, his Nines is never going to experience any of that.

"Did you think about me when you touched yourself?" Gavin asks.

He runs his hands up the insides of Nines's legs while he asks the question. That's unfair enough, but rubbing his thumbs right at the creases in his thighs as Nines tries to answer borders on mean.

"I—I, yes. Did." Nines stutters.

Gavin skirts his hands up higher, just barely resting on the outsides of his flushed lips. His clit is big enough to push out past them, a teasing little peek-a-boo that makes Gavin's mouth water. It looks just as fat and swollen with arousal as it had felt when he'd petted over it through the pants.

"Do you like having something in your cunt, baby?"

He gets even meaner when he punctuates this question by using his thumbs to gently pull his lips apart and watch the way his exposed hole clenches and flutters. Nines manages to make his moan sound something like please.

"You have to tell me if you want it," Gavin says sternly. "I'm not just gonna guess about something like that."

Nines frantically nods, his mouth working silently around gasps. He's so worked over just having his legs spread and his pussy put on display. Gavin decides to have mercy—mostly on himself.

"Shhh, OK. I'm going to play with you now."

He circles his thumb around the android's clit gently at first, just watching what kind of reaction partial stimulation to it gets him. Nines shudders out an exhale and his thighs tense.

"That's right, you need to keep your hips still," Gavin tells him.

Nines nods again, blindly, his eyes shut and mouth agape.

"Do you want it like this?"

Gavin slides his other hand up Nines's side, over his chest, to rest lightly on top of his throat. Nines slowly opens his eyes, LED sluggishly spinning yellow. Gavin times the slow circles around his clit to it.

"With rules and taking orders," Gavin explains. "Where you need to obey and behave."

"Yes," Nines breathes out.

He doesn't take that as his real answer right away. "Or do you want it more casual?"

Nines blinks hard, twice, and cocks his head.

"Where I tell you what to do, since I've got more experience. But," He lets go of the android's throat. "You can do what you want. You don't have to hold still or—"

Nines shakes his head no for the first time. "I … I want … to be … good."

"As a good boy, or my own personal companion android,"

Gavin strokes his thumb directly down the length of Nines's swollen clit for the first time.

"That I can pet,"

He keeps his thumb where it is and shifts his fingers to tease the tip of his index against the entrance clenching at it.

"And play with,"

"Yes, yes, please," Nines chants.

Gavin presses the finger inside and it goes so easy. Enough for him to believe Nines really has spent the entire afternoon doing nothing but fucking himself in Gavin's own bed.

"And fuck,"

He adds a second finger without any resistance and gets those tears he promised. He really can't stop a grin from spreading across his face at that, just as sharp and vicious as any of the RK's interrogation protocols.

"Whenever, and however …" He pulls his hand out entirely, leaving Nines gasping and wrenching his eyes back open to stare up at him in pleading confusion. "I want."

Nines sniffles and starts to shift his hips to seek out any stimulation he can. Gavin stills them with both hands, and tries to keep his voice soft and free of judgment for the next part.

"Do you still want to behave?" he asks.

He watches as Nines realizes what that really means. What he would be promising Gavin—just for this scene. They really do still need to have an actual talk before he'll accept anything as a permanent, serious answer, but he can't resist at least throwing this option out there for now.

Nines tilts his head back to release steam, but then he settles back down. His whole body eases in a way Gavin has never seen before actually—even though he rejected his programming in terms of working for either Cyberlife or the DPD, it always still shone through in his perfect posture and too-formal speech.

This is the first time he's ever seen the android look … relaxed.

Gavin waits, but he doesn't even attempt to hide the way he sweeps his gaze over Nines's body, appreciating the thick chest, pecs well-defined enough to almost give him a bust, nipples hard and begging for attention, and his legs still spread wide, showing off a perfectly manicured triangle of soft black curls right over where his cunt drools onto the couch.

He drags his eyes back up to meet Nines's soft look, utterly relaxed and blinking slowly. He already knows what the answer will be just from that, but he still waits for it.

"Yes, Detective."

***

***

this was commissioned by @gavinisqueertbh and you can find my commission info pinned to the top of my blog! subscribers to my patreon get early access to all my commissioned fics two weeks before they’re posted here and on AO3 for free ^^