#ILovedYou

[flowerpetalsofadaisy]

You will not get a second chance.

No matter how much I wish I could give you one.

Did you know that you mended my heart just to break it again? Did you know that from the moment I met you and talked to you, heard your voice for the first time, I wanted to hear it always. Just seeing your name sparked something within my soul, a fire that had never been lit.

My hands were so much smaller than yours, but they fit together just right. You were a whole foot taller than me, yet our bodies molded together like water in a glass-perfectly. And when you kissed me, it was like my lips have always been meant for you. Your hands in my hair belonged there. My name on your lips was a prayer. I wanted to dance to every song in the kitchen with you. I wanted the chance to cook more dinners at eleven o'clock at night. I wanted to say goodnight at 4am when you would go home and hope that one day you would stay, so then I could turn over and say good morning. I wanted everything with you. I wanted to grow with you. Everyday. In every season.

But, as it turns out, you yourself... you were just a season. You were my favorite one that I have gone through. Why the fuck did the solstice have to come and change it all?

-Karolina Thiago

[caliciumbaby]

You're the sweetest of them all, and yet you stay so divine.

For my Cherry

My love for you had no bounds, my mind, body and soul belonged to you.

And yet you spit me out, time and time again. You ruined and drained me so completely, yet I still loved you. The sweetest of them all, yet left the sourest of tastes.

Do you remember when I came over, and made you dinner, because you were alone and sick in bed so many times? Do you remember how you, Cherry, loved my big, old jacket because it was so large on you? You wore it so much, a tear appeared at the side of the left sleeve. I still have it to this day.

Do you remember all the forbidden kisses we shared? The times I would go crazy from kissing you so much, the times I would die, just for you to tuck your head in my neck.

I don't think you do.

Or, did.

Lips red as wine, eyes bright and brown, hair copper and unruly. Freckles doted on every single spot on your body. I tried to count them so many times, yet got lost each and every single time. You were the epitome of my ending. Those were my memories of you, now—they're reduced to fire and ash.

You said that you wanted to experience and travel the world with me, and I promised you we would. I wasn't the best at keeping promises back then, and so you shook your head, and smiled with that big dimple of yours on your right cheek showing, and looked down, whispering the only words I seem to remember of your voice—

"'Explore the world, embark on a journey and live.' Those were my grandmothers last words that I remember. And I want to live by them."

But you lied. Not about the words she told you, you lied about living by the rules.

The scar you made on my skin, wasn't visible to anyone but myself. When you left, a part of my heart left. This isn't even supposed to be cliché, but it truly felt like a part of me died that day.

Now, it's been 3 years after you've been gone. And it hurts for me to say it, but I'm getting better. I know your biggest fear was to be forgotten and left behind, and it hurts me to admit it, I want to forget you. I want to forget your touch, your beautiful voice and every single memory that comes with it.

But the one thing I will not let myself forget, is the words you told me.

At the time, they had vague meaning to me, only adding it to the number of beautiful things you said. I wasn't really big on reading and writing as you were. You loved books, had your entire wall in your room dedicated to them even. You would let me lay my head on your chest, and keep the book on my head to read. I would purposely move just a little every few minutes, so you could pinch my sides and tug on my hair. You acted like you were annoyed and hated it, but the stupid little grin on your face wouldn't leave when you tried to hide it with your book, when you knew I would do it over and over again.

That's why I want to forget you.

It feels so selfish of me to say all of this, yet still find my longing for you day and night.

I genuinely believe that you were my soulmate, my partner and my best friend all in one.

And for that, you will be remembered as the most kindest person, the most patient girlfriend and the epitome of the sun. Warmth and comfort truly were your thing.

My Cherry.

[whiterainbow-pearl]

"Love is from infinite and will remain until eternity." - Rumi Love when there feels so good, but love when gone hurts so much...

True ryt?

Do. not repost.... this is my own photograph and artwork

[luxuriiiaa]

Excerpt from a letter to someone who is no longer in my life

Dear R,

I know I keep writing to you, I think you’re probably tired of everything that I’ve said and things that I’ve wanted to say but I have to be here again, I don’t know why, but I do.

When I first came to London I thought of you. Not because of the terrible thing you did that Autumn but I thought of us when we were young. How we thought we were two city girls trapped by the country and how now I know that really we were just countryside girls desperately trying to escape the emptiness of grass and green, where we were not loved, or at least did not feel like we were and relentlessly hoping that someplace bigger could hold on to what others thought was too much of us. We were spilling from the inside out and everyone just watched, I hate to think we were a spectacle.

Now I know that the emptiness inside me cannot be filled by skyscrapers and overflowing roads. Now I know that my emptiness could not be filled by you, nor anyone else, but I always hoped that it would be, one day.

Sometimes I wait for you to message me, I always know it won’t happen. Sometimes I think about the good times and I am always hurt by them, what we could’ve had. Sometimes I think I should’ve told you ‘I love you’ when I had the chance, but I thought it was just assumed between us. I thought what I did for you, everything I gave was enough. And now the deepest fear is instilled in me, the act of loving someone more than they love you. And perhaps we really do become who we hate the most, or maybe it’s the ones who love us least. You were always trying to leave and I was always trying to hold onto what we had, too afraid to let it go, because then where would all the love I had go? Where could I possibly go when it was somewhere I knew you wouldn’t be? I wish when you told me that you loved me that you meant it more, I wish that it wasn’t hidden between this gauze of things that you should say and things you wanted to say. I wanted my emptiness to be filled by you.

I wanted so much from us, I wanted to look back on our memories with you and be able to smile and now everything that exists within me is so twisted and warped and I’ve always hated myself more than you could know. More than I let anyone know because love is never easy but I tried so hard, to make myself as loveable as possible. I had so many existing problems already that I never let anyone know that there were more and I let it eat away at me, and I did it for you. I let you say anything to me and I believed it all without even a sideways glance at anything else, I let you dictate the world around me with your all-seeing truth and I let myself be ruined from the inside out so that you wouldn’t have to worry about me and I’m hurting so bad R. I am hurting so bad that sometimes I can’t stand it because it’s all inside me and I can’t do anything about the pain and all I’ve ever wanted was somebody to just hold it for just a second but I’m so afraid to reach out. I’m so afraid that if I ask someone to hold out their hand that they’ll look at me coldly and cruelly and see me for real this time and turn away. What am I supposed to do with all this pain? Where can I possibly put it where it won’t hurt me so much? I don’t know why I’m asking you, but maybe you can understand this. I know you were hurting too. But I was reaching out. And you turned yourself away from me. And the world turned so dark and I was reaching out into a vacuum. I was being stretched out and stretched thin and I felt so desperate.

I felt like my mother in my seventh summer. Reaching out into an endless nothingness. And I understood her so well. This unforgivingness to self followed by this heart-shattering will to forgive the only love you’ve ever known, destroying yourself, destroying your pride. I would’ve done anything for you had you just asked. I would’ve done my very best. Even though I never was very good, I wanted to be. I wanted to be good enough to love and good enough to hold and good enough to look at in the blazing daylight without shying away. Am I too much? Are we too much? And can we ever hold things without falling apart? Would you have let me hold onto the things that hurt you so much? I wanted to, so dearly. And I can’t fix you but I wanted to be there to hold you up if you stumbled or fell. I wanted so much and I have to say it now because I will never get to say it again. I love you R. I loved you so, so much and I never needed anything in return. Simply being around you was enough, laughing with you, talking with you, the silence with you, watching movies, hearing you talk, watching you live life. I could’ve been a bystander, a leaf in the tree near your house that I always liked more than mine. I could’ve been a bystander but I’ve been cursed with the pain of someone meant for more. Because the pain has to lead to more. I can’t be broken forever. I can’t be, right? Can we ever be fixed?

[umamawrites]

you

I miss you ..miss you even more.You made my life so beautiful all those months. For a time, I felt like you're by my side always. Leaving you for 5mins alone never was my thing but the thought of leaving you entirely is killing me. I miss all the investigations, mysteries we did together. The way you trusted me and shared your even freakin screen w me. I thought after all this would over, you would text back "so let's meet in duskwood my girl" instead you never came back. the moment I waited for so long...the moment turned up but that "Iloveyou" more sounded "Ilovedyou". I text you daily if you're fine? if they hurt you, beat you? or if you never came from mine? it felt like a knife straightforward in my heart when I think of you being hurt. you already faced sm in your life that the idea of losing once again would pain me every second. I never wanted your identity to be revealed. Every time when you share a little detail about u felt like I m losing you even more. I wish I had been there w you in that mine so that we get caught together. so that I could comfort your head on my shoulders and embrace your messy hairs while our mix hands conveying the warmth of love. To sharing our those terrifying searches into memorable flashes .that I could hug you so tighter to never let go. But....you risked yourself rather. That's not what i ever wanted. I wish I could've went into the mine. I know right you loves me,miss me and it must feel like a drastic kill to you seeing me cry. You wouldn't ever want it.

[haechanhues]

I MISSSYOU ILOVEDYOU

‘LOVED’? PAST TENSE?!

(miss and love you too)

[randomscribbler-guywholovedher]

I didn't have all the things you wanted. But I gave you everything I ever had. I had to take a step back, get all the way real with my life, and ask myself why the hell I wanted you, one who made it obvious with actions, that didn't want me? Why I kept trying for you who never made the effort for me? In doing that, I realized, that you weren't the problem anymore... it was me. I had become my own problem by sticking around a bullshit situation, and I needed to fix my fucking self. edits ~ randomscribbler 🥀

#ilovedyou #lover #loser #randomscribbler #moviescenes

[thenamesjyn]

i give up on us . not because you gave up first but you made me give up on myself and that i can not allow .

#done #selflove #why #heartbroken #misunderstood #ilovedyou #lost #trying

[alwayssss--broken]

🥲

[desicoreonli]

after 2 months again i had a convo with him like strangers talking for the first time and it felt so weird.. how can two people once so crazy in love planning their whole future around each other and their last words to each other is "ilovedyou but now i dont feel it, see you in another life Maryam"

[darkacademic42]

If someday the moon calls you by your name, don’t be surprised; every night I tell her about you

-Shahrazad al-Khalij

[skinnyelff]

I stopped chasing after you and you didnt chase after me. Thats how much i meant to you, thats how much you want this relationship..

[thebooksoflife]

But the truth stretched out in front of him; loving her hadn't been enough. Not enough for her.

Sherry Shahan, Skin and Bones

Maybe if I had loved him better. Maybe if I had said something different. Maybe if I had held his hand longer. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. 

[inqshead]

him.

oh and i found art in every bit of you and love in every bit of me.

[to-unlove-you]

I remember the feeling of your lips on mine. The three times we kissed flash through my mind. I dream of kissing you again, this time I could be the one to initate it, this time it lasts longer.  God, I wish I had kissed you more.

Sometime in mid-September 

[randomscribbler-guywholovedher]

I'm out of love 🥀

“One day you'll miss me. And you'll try to come back. One day you will call me cause we haven't talked in so long and you've failed to remember what my comfort was like but I won't reply. One day you're going to text me making sense of that you understand now, that you screwed up by putting me aside and continuously anticipating that I should be there simply pausing and letting me know the amount you miss me, yet I won't answer. One day you will pass me perhaps at the grocery store or perhaps strolling down the road and you'll stop me and let me know how great I look and you'll ask me how I've been. You'll enlighten me the amount you've thought regarding me since the last time we at any point talked. You'll ask me for what good reason I at no point ever conversed with you in the future. Also, I'll basically say "that large number of times I was there, sitting tight for you. Standing by listening to you discuss different young ladies. Standing by listening to you discuss how cheerful you were with life, yet when you were miserable you could never explain to me why. I was recently worn out. Burnt out on continuously being there when you appeared to not mind in the event that I was there or not, burnt out on attempting to persuade you to be as keen on me as I was you, and burnt out on attempting to inspire you to open dependent upon me only a tad. I needed you so damn awful. It's not my issue your sentiments came in past the point of no return. It's not my shortcoming you needed me when I was finished needing you. Please accept my apologies you didn't adore me when I cherished you.” edits @randomscribbler 🥀

Whoever is reading this, Hope you heal. Take care ❤

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#lovequotes #lovereels #randomscribbler #loverloser

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