#IM CRYING OVER MY OWN WRITING

[sinistershepherd]

I DONT REALLY HAVE A CHOISE IN THE MATTER ANYMORE DO I 😭😭

👹

Ahahahahaha no

Moon had never been alone. Part of his very existence was being Sun’s shadow, the main face of the daycare. Happy, cheerful Sun; dark, dreary Moon. That’s how it had always been. That’s how Moon thought it would always be.

“Sunrise, Moondrop, come with me.”

It was a simple request, one that both brothers followed without question. Maybe a glance, but nothing more. They chatted mindlessly, but the service worker never said a word.

The journey to parts and services felt so much longer than normal. They thought nothing of it at first, but slowly, their conversation dies away into silence. Scared silence. Moon instinctively reaches out, grabbing hold of Sun’s hand, moving forwards to stand just a bit ahead of him.

He’s the security bot. He’ll protect Sun, just like Sun protected him when he was infected with the virus. All those days, spent behind Sun’s eyes, watching as he argued with numerous workers and staff. Pleading for them not to take his brother away, begging to give them just one more week for things to change.

“Wait here, Moon.” The service worker’s voice is monotone. Sun glances to his brother, Moon doing the same. The lunar animatronic instantly shakes his head, shifting closer to his solar counterpart, eyes brightening into a vivid shade of red.

The worker raises their hands in a show of innocence.

“I’m not here to do nothin’.” They say, making Moon hesitate, just for a moment.

“I’m coming too.” He insists, letting out a guttural growl as other service workers poke their heads out the doors, holding rope and leather bonds in small shaking hands.

Other workers share uncertain glances, though eventually wave both brothers in.

The doors shut and lock behind them. The duo stiffens, one turning towards the door, the other spinning around to face the cylinder and approaching workers. They stand back to back, trembling as electric prods and tasers are brought out from behind corners and under tables.

“Wh-What’s going on?” Sun stammers, rays shrinking into his head the longer he watches the approaching threats. Hands surge forwards in reply, grabbing limbs and legs, restraining claws as Moon screams to be released.

Sun is dragged, thrashing like a frantic shark, into the cylinder. The door is shut, locked, right as the workers pull back to leave the solar animatronic behind.

“MOON!” Sun cries, cries, cries, and it hurts to see him so distraught. His voice is muffled by the reinforced glass, fists pounding vainly on whatever he can reach. A caged animal, the gentle beast, now violent when threatened.

Moon cannot take his eyes away. Not as hands and arms pull him down, wails of sorrow echoing around the room. Not as electric prods are shoved into every gap and crevice in his chassis, scattering his sight into static and brief, grained out images of blurry movement.

“SU-U-N-“ He shrieks, voice cracking. He tries to squirm and struggle again, but feet and hands are still holding him down. His waning strength makes him helpless- frustratingly so.

“Don’t worry…you’ll be next, lullaby.”

The voice breaks through Moon’s panic, loud and clear compared to the scrambled thoughts in his head. He watches the mechanical arms inside the cylinder, usually used for reassembling, now reaching out towards Sun in a horrifically slow manner.

“NO! NO, PLEASE!” He screams, so loud, so afraid. The arms get closer, Sun pressing himself up against the glass, sliding down until he is nothing more than a heap of tears and trembles. Moon thrashes once more, letting out a scream as another prod is shoved into his back.

“STOP! STOP, THAT’S- THAT’S MY BROTHER!!” Moon manages to call out, eyes widening further as one of the arms grasps Sun by the shoulder.

“DON’T! PLEASE!” Sun begs, but it is already too late.

His arm is torn from his shoulder bearing, splattering oil over the glass enclosure. Moon doesn’t see anything else after that- only red. Red, black, and the scent of blood.

——————————————

The world came back in waves. Moments of coherence, then nothing the moment he sees what remains of his brother. Cold hands resting on solid glass, unbreakable in the worst way. Cracked red eyes peering into the surrounding darkness, ready to defend what no longer needs defending.

By the time the door finally opens, Moon has very little left to lose. His brother’s mangled parts sit, sparking and dripping, at the base of the door. Oil leaks from a ruptured chassis, eyes flashing, flickering with the dying light of life.

“I tried.” Moon cannot find anything else to say. To his surprise, Sun’s head shifts, a lopsided smile coming onto his face.

“I know…” Broken words drip from a crushed voice box, only filtered by a soft whistle, like air going through punctured lungs.

Moon curls around his dying twin, tears leaking down his face.

“What do I do? Sun, please, don’t leave me-“ A begging tone, fit for a grieving brother, so lost in denial that it borders acceptance. Sun lets out a sad chuckle, moving his hand just enough so that he can lightly touch Moon’s.

“Quiet, quiet…just…ya know, I think this has been….like a game…” Words become slurred, drowned out by the static.

“Sun-“

“A game….like, um….like tag! Right, right…I’m it, I think….?” Sun pauses just long enough to cast his fading eyes up to meet his brother’s.

“Now run, before I catch you.”

Moon stares down at him, eyes wide with bewilderment. “I’m not leaving you here.”

“You don’t have a choice, silly.”

Moon feels the tears flooding down his face now, staining his plating, drowning out the blues and white hues of his faceplate.

“I’m not leaving you.” He insists, but Sun only seems saddened by this.

“But I’m it. Come on, Moony, you don’t wanna get caught, do you?” The solar animatronic twitches his head towards the doors, indicating that the other workers and guards will surely come looking for his lunar counterpart.

“I can’t lose you!”

Sun meets his brother’s eyes, giving him one last hopeful smile.

“You already have, Moony.”

The lights shut off within his eyes after that, fading from a dim white to a morbid black. His head sags off to the side, horrifically limp. Moon cannot stop the yelp that leaves him, the scream that follows.

“SUN! SUN PLEASE!”

His screaming continues for some time, but eventually dies away into subdued silence. He remembers very little of that day, after that. Flashes come and go, at times: waving goodbye to the kids, giving them a final farewell as he tells them that he has to leave for a big adventure.

They giggle and laugh, blissfully unaware.

The numbness settles in then. Blind, unfeeling as time ticks on. No kids. No brother. No voices.

Slowly, the numbness settles into a bitter, furious feeling within the depths of his chassis. The children’s drawings become ripped and tattered the more they are rained on. Moon never knew this, as he had never experienced rain before.

It hurts, sometimes. This gentle sting that reminds him that he is still here, while Sun is not. He wonders: why did they go for Sun first? Moon was the night terror. Was it to torture him?

That fury becomes aggression.

Was it to remind him that he caused all this pain to his brother, to show him that he was, and would always be, cast over by his shadow?

That aggression becomes violence.

And the daycare decays, left behind, closed for eternity. When the fire blazes throughout the building, Moon watches, wishing he was the one to have set it. Sun would be so disappointed in him now. The kids would, too. So scared of the monster that stalks the streets, hidden by shadow and overcome with blind, endless anger.

Moon had never been alone. Part of his very existence was being Sun’s shadow, the main face of the daycare. Happy, cheerful Sun; dark, dreary Moon. That’s how it had always been. That’s how Moon thought it would always be.

Until it wasn’t.

[Original ask: “So, Let's say one of the brothers got decommissioned, Reason of your choise, brother of your choise. How would the other live ? Does the daycare get shut down ? How bad would things get ?”]

[mintypsii]

author x barista cafe au (sanji is competing against himself)

[nekrofager]

22 May, a day before my birthday, today - A doctor looked me in the eyes with a a smile, and said "Guess what? You are going to get Testosteron." After 6 years of waiting, after 16 years of thinking something is weird with me, and at the age of 26, I finally got on T.

I cannot remember once in my life in which I've started to cry out of happiness. But the moment those words hit me, I couldn't stop laughing and crying.

Thank you for everyone who has supported me to get here.

[heartslobbf]

the thing about rgu episodes 35&6 is its just like...... everything is veering towards a car crash but more than usual. and everyone is more aware of how car-crashy things are going to get than usual, but its like. no one is like ‘hey what if we didn’t get into a car crash though’, or if they are, they’re expressing that sentiment in the worst way possible (shoutout anthy and touga). you have so many tiny and horrendously fucked up moments in those episodes like juri saying utena ‘looks like a girl now’ and making miki consider whether or not that’s a ‘good’ thing, or utena falling asleep at the table with her earrings as anthy just Watches, or the scene where touga holds a carrot in various initially amusing and then promptly emotionally devastating ways as both he and the audience make a series of crushing realisations neither of us are totally comfortable accepting

its like. throughout all of this acknowledgement of ‘hm. this is bad’ everyone is filled with inaction. we are all trapped in our coffins!!! people are prosing but that’s about it. all of the student council know who end of the world is, and they don’t tell utena. im not blaming them for this because its masterful, compelling writing that serves to elevate the show and its themes, but i am pointing it out because what’s endlessly relevant in utena analysis is recognising when characters make choices that ohtori frames as a natural progression or event that is immutable. anthy and touga voice wow i cant believe at least one person has to die at the end of this duelling game, which we like have to do btw. yeah. what do you mean this is all constructed and therefore can be dismantled. oh my god im going to kill you what the fuck. i dont want to kill you. i dont know how else to get you out of this situation. guess ill try and remove you from the system, thereby proving it is a structure that can be left behind and undermining my fragile worldview ive believed to have kept me ‘safe’ all this time. why are you guys talking about coffins so much omgggggggg shut up shut up shut up

[opens-up-4-nobody]

What if I do something I don't have literally any time for and write a les mis fic? For old times sake. What if I did that instead of studying?

[technicallyblakebelladonna]

[blenselche]

dont mind me im just getting up in my feelings

wip i prob wont finish for a few days, one of our chickens isn't feeling well v__v

song is The Joker and The Fool by Matt Pless

"One of them laughed while the other one cried

But both of them lived watching both of them die

‘Cause they knew all along that they couldn’t survive

This remind ya’ of someone ya’ knew?

Well, misery loves company and misery’s my friend

They slept in fire, crashed and burned then struck their match again."

[mathias-wanabe]

Decided to go back to reading jash fics again

Since I’ve last checked… there have only been only 2 new fics

Two…

Only TWO new gw fics…since AUGUST 14…

AT THIS POINT IMA HAVE TO START WRITING MY OWN GODS BE DAMNED😭😭😭

[cranberrylane]

seeing an item in a museum from years and years ago that used to be someone's keepsake really does make one feel very existential

[lemedstudent2021]

some gems i found (turns out im occasionally funny)

will continue to update as i rake through the wonder that is my blog :)

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

kunikidazai and shakespeare,,, what a duo

i leave it to the imaginative little ppl reading this to come up with a preface

dazai: “i love you, kunikida”

kunikida *brows furrowing a yearnfull sadness coming over him*: “dazai- you say you love rain, but yet you open your umbrella. you say you love the sun, but you always find a spot in the shadows. you say you love the wind, but you close your windows the first you hear of its rustling . these reasons dazai, are why i am afraid when you say that you love me too.”

[plushri]

I wish I could travel light I hate packing 😔

[lightbulb-warning]

local audhd having idiot has to do something not related to their hyperfixation and fuCKING EXPLODES!!1!!!!!! /j

[cerealandchoccymilk]

(wip)

freaks be like kitarooo time for your daily vivisectionnn and not wait for an answer

[soopysoap]

man smth about escaping reality through day dreaming about fantasies that you cling onto just to get you through the day and then becoming thoroughly more disconnected to real life until it feels like the only thing that can bring you back is your fantasy becoming a reality always gets me idk

[baeshijima]

sobbing theyre so ueueuhegejd