#and i didnt sleep too much last night. dogs woke me in the night with their howling

[opens-up-4-nobody]

What if I do something I don't have literally any time for and write a les mis fic? For old times sake. What if I did that instead of studying?

[sugxqts]

Kazuha + you + in a birthday party with seven other people go!

(oh yeah u two r in an established relationship bc im like that<3)

Just imagine were invited to your friends birthday party and she said you could bring anyone sO you bring kazoo man (HELP NOT ME USING THE SAME NAME KAZOO MAN WITH MY CRUSH AND KAZU) with you

And its just pure chaos

Imagine just how he'd feel after you and your friends were clowning around and having fun🌚

LIKE IMAGINE HOW HE'D FEEL AFTER DOING ALL THESE THINGS:

You were all (+Kazu ofc) playing crack the egg on the trampoline (where the "egg" person has their legs up to their chest and their arms under their knees and everyone has to jump around the "egg" to make their arm or leg out of place) and theres so much yelling and jumping and all the shits n giggles (Kazuha went easy on you bc he ddint wanna hurt you🥹)

And then playing Dead man, again with the shits n giggles, theres so much laughing and jumping near the dead man💀

Oh yesyes wATCHING SCREAM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT (outside, in the back yard while having popcorn and candy bc your friends parents are just like that, oh yeah also theres like black thingies that were hung around and ofc a black thingy as the roof i forgor what theyre called)

OH MY GOD AND TRYING TO SLEEP ON THE TRAMPOLINE

There (was) stuff like “Leland your foot is shoving up my ass!” “Bro whose foot is on my thigh” “Guys be quiet its literally 1AM” “Your hair is soft leland” and then there's you, who insisted on literally snuggling to kazu (omg same im so touch starved) but you ended up cuddling with one of your friends leaving kazu to sulk (needless to say, you now have two wives/j) (oh yesyes you snuggled to kazu in the last moments of trying to sleep in the trampoline so he doesnt sulk)

And then you, two classmates of yours (who you talked to, definitely), the birthday girl (she gets a special title <3), their friend, and kazu just in the birthday girls room, literally unable to sleep, but surprise surprise leland and the birthday girls friend hogged the bed (+ lelands feet hanging off the bed + you were sleeping on the floor under where Lelands feet were hanging from but thats for later)

And the birthday girl had an alexa so you all decided to clown around with it while playing some songs

UNTIL LELAND DECIDED HE WANTED TO PLAY BARNEY'S THEME SONG REMIX

He got so fed up with the birthday girls' Alexa and ended up saying “Hey Alexa, listen here you Little cun-” in the end, all of you screamed while kazu just did a small gasp and chuckled a little (poor leland tbh, none of us didnt get to hear the song)

And when all of you guys were finally sleepy (except lolo, who was the girl you cuddled with), especially kazu- mans just decided to cling onto you while he slept and then later you fell asleep too

That was until you heard a clicking sound and typing noises behind kazu (yeah, lolo took a picture of you both and typed in "taken by lolo" in the picture, surprisingly kazu didnt wake up)

Couple hours later you fell asleep again (like three hours), and woke up earlier than the others (surprise, lolo was STILL awake, she couldn't sleep)

And when you looked at yourself white dog hair was all around your clothes (and kazu's)

Yeah, you knew your friend had a dog named blue, and you didn't mind tbh (slay😎)

Later everyone else woke up and you all went to get breakfast, and then later you played on the trampoline again playing monkey see monkey do and OH MY GOD KAZU????? MAN DID A WHOLE ASS DOUBLE BACKFLIP IN ONE JUMP (he still passed three only bc they tried and u bc yee)

Soon enough all of you guys played with the ouija board but it didnt work at first but when it did you RUSHED inside the house

And when you, lolo, the birthday girls friend, and Kazuha were in the backyard again watching a movie, the birthday girls friend went out, and after a couple of minutes, she came back with her phone playing Hayloft II, you lolo, and her started singing it, while Kazuha was watching you with a smile on his face

And then lATER you all went to play with the sprinkler (except leland tho) and then next thing you knew, someone was pointing the sprinkler to everyone (and in the end it was another one of those shits n giggles)

Annd then it ended with going to FredMeyers and both you and kazu walking home after (with you clinging onto his arm literally about to fall asleep)

BONUSBONUSS!!! (Its all in second person:

When the two of you reached your guys' house, you dragged kazuha to the couch to cuddle him and fall asleep in his embrace

After you fell asleep, and your breathing slowing at a peaceful pace, Kazuha smiled at you before getting off the couch and carrying you bridal style to your room. He set you on the bed as he, too, got on the bed and cuddled you, your head on his chest.

Feeling droopy, he almost fell asleep until he heard you mutter, “I love you Kazuu....”. He chuckled, placing a small kiss on the top of your head before saying “I love you too, princess.”, as he, too, went to dreamland.

Omg??🫢 Me???? Putting a kazu x reader at the end????? WITHOUT ANON??? (not like i'd do it in anon anyways)

Anyways i literally just came up with this idea bc i was both thinking of kazuha and when i was in my friends place for their birthday party and then i thought “hey why not add kazu to this”

Anyways thats all byebye!!

omg established relationship <33 BRO I LOVE THOSE TYPES OF GAMES AND THE SLEEPING ON THE TRAMPOLINE ONE, 10/10

OH NO POOR KAZU HE'S SULKING BUT I LOVE HOW WERE SO CLOSE WITH THE FRIENDS WHERE WE CAN CUDDLE UP TO THEM AND THEY WOULDN'T CARE🥺🥺🥺

HELP NOT KAZUHA SNAPPING AT THE GIRLS AND POOR ALEXA SHE DIDN'T SO ANYTHING WRONG😭😭

BRO LOLO TAG ME IN THE PICS WE WOULD LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER😎😎😎

BRO IS LOLO SLEEP DERPIVED?? GIRL SLEEP AHAHAHA

I BET THE DOG WAS CUTE BUT THE FUR GONE BE A PAIN TO CLEAN ESP IF YOUR CLOTHES WERE BLACK HAHAH

OMG KAZU GYMNAST CONFIRMED HAHAAHAHAHAH

help i would have had a tantrum while playing ouija board im scared of it💀

bro kazuskye moments me singing hayloft II while kazuha smiles bc im having sm fun🥺🥺🥺🥺

NAWH ME CLINGING ONTO SOMEONE IS SO CANON ESP WHEN IM TIRED😭😭😭

HELP IM A SUCKER FOR CUDDLES AHHHHH KAZU😘😘😘😘😘

OMG CHRISSY THANK YOU FOR THIS MASTERPIECE I LOVE IT🥺🥺🥺🥺💞💞💞💞

[limetimo]

This is one of my reoccuring themes dreams

I'm at home, my dogs find an animal that looks a lot like a baby goat but of not oh boy it's NOTa goat at all Holly duck. For some reason my old high school classmate is obsessed with this abomination, she's crazy okay, threatening me bodily harm if i don't let her have her 'baby', and im pretty sure she did hurt me in some of these dreams before.

this time it was a bit different; my sister was visiting. My sister is often my dreams now so that wasn't strange. But that wasn't the beginning of the dream; i was home alone, very bored, looking for a thing to do, a movie to watch. In this dream we had some alexa-type ai installed, though i needed a little remote control to authorise its actions. The remote was in the kitchen, next to my brothers headphones/airpods. I turned on the tv and asked not-Alexa to like, pick a movie for me from our downloaded collection. As the tv screen was having difficulties I looked to the ceiling. There was a rope? Stretched from side of the room to the other hanging there s but like clothing line or birthday banners. My dogs were going crazy at it, and i noticed there was something crawling inside the rope. Eventually the rope snapped and the thing appeared to be some sort of a squirrel? Max caught it in his mouth by the neck; it appeared to be something wombat-like with big, almost pregnant-like belly. it's neck wasn't snapped so i was like ey boy let's bring it outside and let it go. despite previously being the dead the night now it was a very pleasant sunny day. My sister was there now, just coming into the Garden. The Wombet thing scurried to the water pond, where it proceeded to get stuck in some sort of white sticky filter; also it was a májka the size of my whole hand. My sis and i were watching it crawl across the small pond, then the baby goat abomination (which may have been the wombat previously too?) ate it with its too-human shaped teeth. sis was like 'bro what the duck' and i was like 'yeah that's. That's something that happens sometimes oh duck the crazy girl is already here. Stay away from her okay??' Umm she also made a joking comment about the No goat looking a lot like a spider. i went down the hill following the goat abomination to meet the crazy classmate who was um i think she stained me in the neck with a syringe the size of an elbow? Whatever the effects were they didn't last long because i came to and she was hugging the fucked-up not goat crying and it a god life or whatever. My real animal goats were milking around with caution. Sis came to see what was going on i was like 'stay back' and she was like 'did [crazy classmate] ever hurt you before?' And i was like. Um. No. Couse i didnt want sis to worry too much. Crazy classmate got on her knees and folded herself the ducked up goat in emotional despair and then o woke up. It's 11PM i have to go back to sleep but in not going to like it

what does this even mean,,

i must have had a dream about this sucked up goat at least once maybe twice for me to remember it

We were friends and parted on good terms with the friend, the last time i heard she was doing ok, why is she like this when i dream of her

I had a cake with mascarpone, cheeses are said to cause more drama can that be it??

[kyetalksshit]

Omg I came on here to post a cute lil blurb about how much I love my friends and was reminded that I'm SUPPOSED to be keeping a dream journal more or less hahaha oops

Anyways last night's dream was... a trip and a half tbh so let's recap it while I still remember (even tho it's almost 1am and I should be asleep but here we are)

There was definitely a smaller dream that i completely did not remember even when I first woke up, let alone now. But the last dream...

SO. I get home from work or wherever and I come back downstairs with my dog so she can go potty outside. I notice that there are a lot of people running in and out moving my roommate's stuff out of the house. I'm like omg thank the gods maybe he's moving out and I'll have the place to myself for a little while!!!

I ask someone in passing (I think it was his family or friends) "hey is he moving out?" And they're like "huh?? No, he's not leaving." I'm like 🤨

Then once the living room is cleared out, they bring in this HUUUUUUGE couch like one that has no business being that big. And I overhear someone (or maybe I just knew somehow? Idr) saying that he can afford to upgrade now that he's got this extra money (ie me paying rent). I then see a little dog that looks a lot like his dog that passed a few years ago irl but with a bit of husky? I'm like ?? Weird that he didn't tell me he got a dog but I've got pets here so ig it's not that big of a deal. I pet the dog and say hi.

...then I meet ANOTHER dog, this time a big St. Bernard/GSD mix named Tuck (who I know irl because of my job but in this dream he was now also my roommate's dog). I'm like?????? Wtf man

AND THEN I MEET A THIRD DOG. This one is a small doodle of some kind with wiry hair and smells awful and in dreamland I had a memory of this dog being at the house one other time overnight and I was complaining because it was very yappy. So knowing that not only were there suddenly THREE NEW DOGS in the house without my knowledge, but that at least one of them was gonna be yappy and irritating???????? 🙄😭

I'm irritated but letting my dog play outside and I guess my sister or friends or something are there too because I'm chatting with them about how annoyed I am and I drop my phone, only to pick it up and be DEVASTATED because the screen is SHATTERED literally shattered like to the point that touching it is making my finger bleed. I tape it and then my friend/sister is like wait a minute he has more pets??

I'm like IM SORRY WHAT and she points and says there's a bunny there and one, two, three cats. So that means he has 7 animals??????

Idr how but somehow I find out that he's had the bunny and 3 cats this whole time but made a point to hide them from me. Which is bad enough but three dogs ON TOP OF THAT???? Sets me off.

So I start bringing my dog inside (and now all his friends/family are gone and so are my friends and my cats somehow got out of my room so now I have to wrangle them too) and I see him laying on the couch under a single throw blanket, snoring. And I'm so mad. Because irl he keeps sleeping on the couch EVEN THO HES LIKE 50 and I hate it, so ofc I also hate it in the dream.

I start mumbling to myself about how irritating that is and then start directing that energy at him and getting louder, and he wakes up. I continue yelling at him louder and louder about how he is a grown ass man with a bedroom and a mattress upstairs and it's so frustrating to have to tiptoe past him all the time, and then I bring up how he has people over every single night (which irl he was, though recently it's been more sparse, which is v interesting that it lined up in the dream) and then say I mean you've been getting a LITTLE better on that but-- (about to transition into how LOUD he is on his own)

And he interrupts me by yelling "yeah that fell through, so THANKS FOR THAT!" (Like implying I did magic to force them out)

I go "I DIDNT DO ANYTHING?????? BUT IM GLAD THEYRE GONE"

And this red knotted string on the wall (like those Chinese good luck pendants) that in this moment i understand to be one of his wards, falls off the wall and onto his head. Like as if by saying "I'm glad they're gone" I hit one of his wards and it broke right in front of us and bonked him on his head (giving him nasty repercussions).

He turns to me so angry and curses at me in what my dream self interpreted as Arabic (his native language), like he was cursing me out but also trying to fling evil eye at me. I spit it back at him to deflect that energy, scoop up my pets, and storm upstairs to my room. And as I do I yell down "GROW THE FUCK UP." And then I slam the door behind myself, leaving him speechless below.

I remember collapsing on my bed with my pets and then going ok yeah no I need to move, I cannot stay here and live like this. And then of course I have a panic when I realize that my (shattered 😭) phone is still outside where I had it last and I do NOT want to pass him to go get it.

And then I wake up.

[yellowbentley]

i got her in april 2012. i was in third grade. she was a year old. she was only meant to stay a week and then she never left. oh i hated her at first. i hated her so much. i didnt want a cat, i'd always wanted a dog and instead i got this awful hissy thing that wouldnt go near any of us. i think i may of kicked her a couple times, i really dont remember. if i did, i was a child and i was hurting and i didnt understand and if i did i've already regretted it for years. i locked myself in my parents room and screamed that i wasnt coming out until they got rid of her.

that obviously didnt happen

we just existed in tandem for years and years

she didnt come to me on her own for so long. so long. i always had to chase and scoop her up myself. i wanted a teddy bear and she refused to cooperate. i wrapped her in a blanket but it never lasted long.

i barely even remember anything before 2018. i remember old cat trees, and her falling. i remember my sister got her a catnip stick and i had never seen her with so much energy. i remember she got outside a couple of times. i remember she loved toys on the end of a peice of string

we always cuddled, but i always initiated, and she rarely stayed more then a few minutes

i dont remember when it happened. some time during the deep throes of covid. i was sat pretending to do online classes and she came up and sat on me. put her little front paws up on my leg. with no coaxing. for the very first time

fuck me i felt so lucky

it happened with more and more frequency after that. after that she just became my girl. i got up earlier and planned my mornings around cuddle time because she'd come to me as soon as i got up in the morning.

i had no friends so i would come home from school and it would just be me and her for cuddle time.

in the evenings i would eventually get up and bring her to my room and she'd just sit with me. i didnt need anyone else because i had her beside me.

eventually, i started to show her off. it went from "my family has 2 cats" to "this is MY cat". parents be damned.

i got a job. she figured out i got ready at 1:30 and would come jump up at 1:20 every day like clockwork. i would come home 10 after 11 and she would be at the door. she'd follow me to the bathroom as i changed and downstsirs and back when i got food.

every day. for nearly 2 years

every meaningful event in my life, good or bad, anything at all, i could turn around and she'd be there whether i noticed her or not. one day, something clicked, and i noticed her. and suddenly i needed her. i needed her alot.

most times, it felt like she was my only real companion. the only thing that loved me.

in the nights when i needed something, she would hear my footsteps and follow my every movement until i go back to bed. if i havent picked her up by now i'll leave the door open and she'll join me herself when shes ready. it was never a long wait.

in the evenings, i dont need to bring her in anymore. she looks for me herself. i hear my door creak open and tiny meows and i call 'cmere buddy" and within 10 seconds shes purring in my lap.

eventually there became a time when it became routine to go to the couch first thing in the morning because as soon as i sat down she'd walk over from anywhere in the house to jump up and go to sleep on my lap. on weekends she would come over mid afternoon and sit for hours and hours, long after my switch or phone died or i finished my book and all i had for entertainment was petting her and i was happy like nothing else.

(when my parents saw her come, like a trained dog they only rolled their eyes and muttered unbelievable. i could only laugh.)

i had her trained not to come up until i had a blanket thrown over my lap. sharp little kitty claws.

its mid august. dad asks "what are you gonna do when (i) go away for school and you dont get cuddles anymore?" and all she did was chirp

i started uni. i woke up too early to spare time for cuddles, instead, she twines her way around my feet as i get ready and then meows at me when i open the door from her bed in the entryway.

i get home from uni. i drop my bag, take off my shoes, and pick her up. and we cuddle. sometimes for hours, or atleast until my mom gets a bag of crisps and my cat thinks shes getting treats.

it gets cold. i get home from uni, i add the extra step of taking my sweater off before i pick her up because i cant wear it if its covered in fur and she yells at me every second of the way until im finally able to bring her into my arms.

thats nearly what i did december 5th. i took her outside, took her downstairs, then sat her on my lap. she didnt stay as long as she normally did. i wish she would of. we laid together instead. i got my teddy bear in the end. she allowed this lots the last 2 years.

8 hours later she'd be gone

i can barely walk around at night. its too quiet. i keep my door shut. always shut. theres no reason to leave it ajar anymore. i dont sit on the couch anymore. theres no point. no one to greet me good morning in ways of pitter patters or headbutts or purrs

theres no nice way to end this. she didnt have a nice end either

i miss her so fucking much. for someone who never wanted a cat, who screamed that i wanted her gone. i would do absolutely anything to have her back now. my best friend. my buddy. my girl. my soulmate in the form of a bitchy 8 pound cat.

[lolatalks1]

wed, dec 6 2023

this is my first real journal entry, and i dont think dear diary is fitting to start this. i mean its just tumblr. i started this little blog because i need somewhere to vent, and so here i am. that sounds like my pinned post but its whatever. im not sure why im typing like im talking to someone, so i think i should stop explaining myself.

ive heard its good to write out how you feel, so i think im going to do just that. (im explaining myself again)- today was at first a good day, i woke up relatively early and was able to get ready for school quicker than i do normally- which is a win in my book. i was able to lay in my bed- which i need to wash the sheets of. my dog keeps laying where i sleep, which flares up my bad acne. i cant blame him though, i practically leave my side of the bed in a perfect napping position for him. anyways- i was able to lay down and read a little of this cute story about a single mother and a man in the military being her neighbor! very cute, very cute. then my dad took me and derek around eight o' five, then we got to school, and it was super cold outside. having to stand and wait for the doors to open is not enjoyable- at least i had derek -my cousin- with me. recently ive been a little harsher with him, but i thinks its because ive been a bit on edge with everything as of late. i dont mean to ignore- i think i should start working on that. he already has a lot going on.

continuing, i went to class. first period was tame, i mean nothing too much happened. really essentially a free day. aryeana ? im not sure how to spell her name now that i realize it- but she was there talking with jacob about whatever. sometimes i feel a little outcasted when with them- but i guess thats because im not that much of a conversational person when i cant think of a topic that will be enjoyable for all of us. i mean, i like anime and overwatch- and some more things. all those things they either dont like or make fun of- so theres no middle ground for us to converse on. i mean, only thing i can talk about is boys with ary. but its more so talking about aryeana's endless snaps with multiple guys and shes boasting about it- as well as boasting about her not being able to talk to guys. she is really contradictory. i dont hate or get mad at her though, shes nice to me. and cate is there- she kinda helps me relax. shes just a very nice person and since ive known her for so long i dont feel like i have to be super fake with them.

i think- well i know- my day went downhill when my mom finally replied to my messages. i had texted her about going to cam's surprise birthday dinner on sunday night- and she said yes! but then i asked her about saturday, if i can go shopping with her. i needed to go to barnes and noble to get multiple books that several people wanted for christmas, and maybe the mall to get some other things like candles from bath and body works. but anyways- she then revealed shes not going to be here this saturday- more so this entire weekend.... fun.

i just dont understand how she can just go i mean- i know where shes going- hell the whole family does. its nothing new, but the fact its such a repetitive thing and she always did it around familial times (thanksgiving and now christmas). i really dont get, seriously. and ive come to learn that she goes to some town with a new guy each time. what happened to her being with ron? her last boyfriend- i knew of at least. my nana mentioned she didnt like him because how he treated my mom, so im guessing he was abusive or really shitty. i dont care, and i guess thats a bad thing. i see it as karma now. i use to feel bad, want to console her. but ive lost it. lost that empathy.

anyways, she just makes me so- angry. to the point i can't focus on happier aspects of things because shes simply just so intoxicating with her narcissistic behavior. shes so aware that what she does angers and breaks the family, but she cant find it in herself to realize that its bad. how? im not sure. she didnt have a horrible upbringing nor a traumatic event with my dad. so i cant find a genuine reason behind what she does. its whatever, i keep trying to myself i shouldnt care so much. but i cant help it. it affects my home life, makes me i guess more so depressed? i dont want to self diagnose though. but shes the reason behind my upset outlook for today. hell even started playing class of 2013 by mitski- the lyrics hitting a bit too close to home. so yeah. thats all for now i guess, im not sure how journalling works. i guess ill start learning.

[chlorinejello]

An email I won’t send to my english teacher:

i remember when you told me it was okay to vent in you mail. you have no idea how much i need this right now; i also remeber you said you wouldnt read it so if you do, please dont tell me you did.

how do we deal with emotions when were too ashamed to share them? i have a willing support system yes i keep choosing to stay quiet over talking about everything thats on my mind. i don't want to be an inconvenience, i don't want too be extra. because the truth is i feel like shit but maybe this is something everyone deals with and im being a pussy. then im just being pathetic in front of people for no reason, yknow? sounds crude but thats the way i feel. i had a dream last night i was staying at a beach house i went to with my family when i was little, everyone was there and my dad let my dog out through the front door. I yelled at him to let her back in becuase shed get lost, and he replied "We have to let her go." Then she just walked away; at the moment it made sense to me, so i walked back inside. Then I caught a sort of conciousness, I realized she was here, she wasnt real but she was here and I ran out after her. I ran as hard as i could, as hard as i knew she wouldve ran at the first chance to have a free space and i caught up to her by the shore. Some of my aunts were already there, they said something about me going after her "...again, like always."

She ran into the water with me trailing right behind her, i woke up before i got to the deep end. Nothing is the same when you lose a love that pure, that close to home. I lost her and I feel like I have no home; I come back to a house, and a bed that isn’t my own. My bed is always covered in fluffy white dog hair, especially the top left pillow where she sleeps. This bed smells clean, no trace of you anymore. Ive broken down twice today and made my poor boyfriend late to work because he knew i didnt want to be alone. He usually takes me to school, and this morning my mom left extra early, so i was home alone at the time. Worst part? Couldnt get the words out. I planned out how id vent and feel better but its the same everytime, im blocked off by the thought of my feelings being an inconvenience, or not important enough to vent and take someone elses time and energy because of. Im tired of carrying all this pain and guilt with me everywhere i go.

i run as fast as i can from my mind but i just keep running into myself, all the ways i fail myself and others, then have the gaul to sit and cry about it, to feel bad instead of becoming better. I feel and havent done enough for the ones around me to share my pain. But between you and me; yo extraño a mi cosita demasiado y pienso en ella todos los dias. Tengo miedo que sea debil, miedo de decir como me siento y que nadie entienda, que quede como inventora. Siento que para sentirme como me siento me debio haber pasado algo horrible, porque algo no puede acabar de abrir la puerta para que todo lo que tengo adentro salga? o algo horrible tal vez no me ayude, tal vez solo se añada al vaso de lagrimas que tengo en mi corazon. Porque mi dolor me ahoga si no creo que sea tan profundo para volverme loca? Porque si no siento que merezco llorar, sufro tanto? Si lo entendiera, cambiaría ? Dime si estoy perdiendo mi tiempo buscando una respuesta en vano, para si no me sirve, perder el tiempo dibujando en vez de.

[vissenya]

this last week and a half has been such a rollercoaster at work and i’m so glad it’s finally over once and for all

 (tw for racism, suicide and rape mention)

 the girl who was our assistant had been bullying me and my coworkers ever since she started working here in september. she was my bosses best friend of 9 years, was on the verge of getting fired at her other store that she was actually the bakery manager at, so my boss begged the DM to transfer her to our store and make her an assistant because she wanted to help her, since she was so overwhelmed. well!! turns out she was gonna get fired because she was FUCKING EVILLLLL!!!!

she was such a hypocrite and a LIAR and a manipulator. she was abusive and guilt trippy, to us, to her ENTIRE family, even down to her dogs and her husband. like... im not kidding. she would come in and say this exact thing every single day “ughhhh i don’t wanna be here. i wanted to call out today. im so tired and i didnt get any sleep because of that BITCH ruby (her dog) and (insert husband name here) kept trying to cuddle me all night” THIS IS WORD FOR WORD, EVERY SINGLE DAY ever since she started.

she would then immediately get on her phone, get on tiktok, and just lay across the tables. she would tell ME to do her work and i would literally have to tell her to fuck off and do her own job. then she would start the guilt tripping again. then she would talk about how much her parents and stepmom gaslight her. how everyone gaslights her. how everyone is sooooo mean to her. how she has all these mental illnesses (self diagnosis from tiktok). telling my BOSS to “shut the fuck up”, and a few weeks ago, how she wanted to k*ll herself, how she’s felt that way her entire life, etc. yes. she told me this AT WORK and i finally had to say something to my boss. it only got worse from there.

she is your typical Woke Lib TM who, for example, if she was told she was being racist, she would 100000% start throwing out slurs and argue that she isn’t racist and here’s why.. that’s the best way to describe her. so, about two weeks ago? she said the MOST heinous shit to my coworker telling her that “your sister’s hair is like that because down the line your ancestors fucked a sl*ve” when i told her that’s fucked up and a bit much not to say that, she said “fine, her ancestors r*ped...” honestly i don’t even wanna finish the sentence, you get the idea. she really thought she was being sooo progressive yknow!

she’s pregnant (she got pregnant in late january, and this behaviour has been happening since way before this) and she told us that if she knew she was having a boy she would have an abortion because “i’m not raising no white boy” (she is white). she is weirdly possessive about pregnancy too, like she doesn’t want other people being pregnant. she told me she never wants our boss to have a kid cause she thinks she’d be a terrible parent. our 19 year old coworker who she bullies relentlessly to the point where she’s ran and cried to the store managers, thought she was pregnant a few days ago. she told our coworker she shouldn’t have the baby because of all these reasons, then also said “your baby will have birth defects like autism”........ yeaahhh...

SO HR was called in and we all had to tell our stories and write statements, then the next day she was called into the office and they were in there for almost 2 hours. i believe that was april 29th? we expected her to leave but she came back, clearly crying, acted completely different. was super nice but not chatty like normal. the next day she put in her two weeks. yay! we’ll have time to find a new assistant! then comes yesterday, our assistant store manager told us he had to yell at her 3 times the day before to get off her phone because she did nothing but sit around in the department. why she wasn’t sent home, idk. but then it was sent to the DM. finally when she clocked in, she was pulled into the office then told to go home and never come back. HR said during her interview thing, she said something about “inflicting harm on us”, deemed dangerous and a liability because they believed she would lash out very soon, and was let go. right during the holiday, naturally. :)

those are just the most recent horrific incidents, this isn’t including the multiple times a day she says shit like “you fucking bitch” or “you’re fucking stupid”. always an insult always rude, smartass comments. like she literally freaked out and almost cried because she was whining about not liking the taste of water.. and when i told her to get over it, you need water, she said i was accusing her of all this stuff and saying it’s her fault... for not liking water... lmao... also she’s pregnant so SHUT UPPPP and get over it.

the thing with her is she just wanted to bitch and complain because she was so fucking miserable. any advice you gave her she shot down. the amount of times i told her to GET HELP and talk to a therapist and she says “i dont wanna go to someone in person, i don’t wanna talk on the phone, i want to see them face to face, there’s no therapists available” always an excuse, always something. i’m just so glad i never have to hear her bitch about how they have no money but “i just preordered this anime figure” or “i just bought these $50 stickers from this tiktok person!”  and no one believed she was this way because she NEVER acted like this in front of anyone above her. only us. so when our store manager and HR lady listened to her they were disgusted. she admitted it all, said even worse stuff. she puts on a super high pitched, cheery bubbly act around everyone then the second you turn your back she’s rolling her eyes and calling them a ‘dumb bitch’ JFSOIDHGOFIGHODSF

she is miserable, she refuses to seek help, she is vile, she needs to not.. be around humans. not even her husband and dogs, which i didn’t even get into how she treats them.

it felt really good writing this and getting it all out and now we can all move on :)

[nikrangdan]

lovestruck!enhypen x reader

pairing: lovestruck!enhypen x reader

genre: FLUFF fluff Fluff

description: how enhypen would be if they became lovestruck by the reader ☹️☹️ this is such an adorable request!!!! itll vary for each member ur relationships so you’ll either be strangers or already dating etc.

a/n: idk if all of them are lovestruck exactly bc i just got carried away with the fluff for some of them and idky maknae line revolves around sleeping BUT IDC sleepy!enhypen is the best 😁

———————

HEESEUNG

u worked at a pretty popular clothing store

and well well well heeseung had shown up dressed very much your style so u were like

Wow who is this guy....

he was alone just looking around

and there were like 10 other people in the store but u wanted to talk to him so bad so u went up like

“hi, welcome! are u finding everything okay?”

he was looking through a rack of shirts and turned around when he heard u but WOW

when this man turned around he looked even better in person u couldnt believe it 😫

BUT IT SEEMS HE FELT THE SAME BC U SWEAR HE BECAME SO FLUSTERED WHEN HE TURNED AROUND

his eyes got so wide u almost laughed it was so cute ☹️

he stuttered and was like “oh um im okay”

Aw man

but u said “okay then! let me know if you need any help finding anything or if u wanna use a dressing room!” and u sent him ur nicest smile u could give

his eyes were still kinda wide open and u gave him one last look before turning around😢😢

BUT THEN HE SAID SOMETHING

“w-wait! actually.. um....uh.. do u.. do u guys have sweatpants..?”

u giggled to urself on the inside bc u knew he just made that up on the spot

“we do! here, follow me”

while u were showing him the clothes u guys had exchanged names and had some small talk

and that was the start of something very Beautiful

and since then he has been coming almost everyday to visit u at work 🤗🤗

JAY

jay swore he found new things about u to love every single day

and today wasnt an exception!!!!

u knew jay had been really tired and just worn out from work recently so u had decided to make him his favorite meal for dinner

a nice little surprise for when he got home ❤️

and also the anime he was watching ready on the tv for u two to watch together :(

u had literally been preparing all day and u even decided to go out and buy dessert too

AWESOMEST PERSON EVER U ARE!

it was 8pm already and jay should be getting home now

u set the table all neatly and put on one of his sweaters

AND WOULD U LOOK AT THAT HE GOT HOME AS SOON AS U WERE DONE

Fate 🔥🔥

romantic stuff like this wasnt really ur forte so this was out of the normal for u

but u wanted to do something for jay because he did stuff like this for u alot

the table isnt in view when u walk into the apartment so he wasnt able to see his dinner yet

“hi” you smile brightly and go up to hug him and give him a little kiss

he had his bad slung over one of his shoulders and he was taking his shoes off in the doorway after he closed it

“hey.. it smells pretty good in here” he gave you a tired smile while one of his arms was wrapped around your waist

“really? it smells normal to me” you giggled before walking to the kitchen area together

he stopped and looked at u with LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES when he saw the table

jay: ❤️_❤️

“y/n..”

“surprise!!! you know im not good with words but i wanted to show you that i can cook” you laugh “and that i love you very much and im so proud of you”

jay doesnt say anything but instead drops his bag on the couch and gives u the Biggest Hug Ever

ur face is practically smushed in his chest and his hand is resting lovingly on ur hair :(((

he loves u so much im so sad

JAKE

“layla!!! layla where are you?” jake was yelling quite loudly in the massive park he was in the middle of

yeah jake lost layla.. uh oh

quite a coincidence you found the cutest dog you’d ever laid eyes on

and she seemed to love u very much

the dog had made u topple over and now she was excitedly playing with you while you were sat on the ground laughing to your hearts content

after a minute of playing you had got up because you knew she was somebodys lost dog and her owner was probably looking all over the park for her

“okay.. lets go find your owner before they have a heart attack” you giggle

just as you said that though, you heard a boys voice yell “LAYLA!!!!”

the dog next to you looked in his direction, tail wagging and tongue out, but she didnt move an inch from her spot next to you

it made me you laugh out loud

as you were watching the boy run up to you, you noticed how cute he actually was

Omg..... ur heart started beating a little faster

“hi..” the boy hunched over with his hands on his knees breathing very heavily “you have my dog”

“uh yeah” you laugh “sorry about that, she ran over to me a couple minutes ago and i was just about to go find her owner”

“its okay, thank you..” he trailed off to find out your name and finally looked up to meet your eyes

“y/n” you told him

“y/n” he repeated with a small grin on his face “im jake”

“hi jake” you lightheartedly give him your hand to shake and he chuckles before taking the offer

“and it was nice meeting you layla” you crouch down to meet her level and she licks your face making you fall on your butt

you laugh and jakes quick to help you up

“layla! thats not very nice” he jokingly scolds her and pets her head

after u got up u bid goodbye to the two before jake invited u to continue walking around the park AND HE EVEN BOUGHT U AN ICE CREAM

Is This A Date, Jake? 😫😫❤️❤️❤️❤️😳😛😛

SUNGHOON

“you should be more careful” you scold the boy sitting with you standing between his legs

sunghoon had apparently gotten elbowed in the face by his friend and scratched by his friends cat on accident????

“it wasn’t my fault! he turned around and i just happened to be in the way. and i didnt even do anything to the cat!” he whined

“i didnt say it was your fault. i said to be more careful.” you tried to sound stern

u knew ur logic was making no sense but u just thought it was so fun to mess with him

he let out a sigh and gave up, slouching over again

you were stood between his legs, wiping the blood away and applying ointment

“im just kidding, you’re so cute” one of your free hands comes up to rub his hair

a small grin pops up on his face and his arms come to rest on your waist

he looks up at you while you focus on tending to his wounds

and u guessed it WITH LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES

❤️_❤️

“you know y/n” he begins

you hum in response, letting him know you’re listening

“im gonna marry you one day”

you freeze in your place

it took you a minute to collect yourself because you felt like your heart almost leaped out of your chest

“who says?” you joke

he leans up to give you a quick kiss on the lips before sitting back down

“me.”

SUNOO

you noticed sunoo had been really tired lately and u just wanted to make him feel better :((

the boys were going out and invited you two obviously but you could tell sunoo was iffy about going

“uhh..” you trail off and look over at sunoo who was laying on the couch

“you know what guys? i think me and sunoo are gonna stay home today.. you guys have fun though!” you bid goodbye to the other boys and they all understood and left

you dont even know if sunoo knew they had left already because when you walked over to him his tired eyes were glued on the tv

“hey” you leaned against the couch and looked down at him

“y/n? are we going soon?” his eyes move to the top of his head to look up at you

you start laughing and he literally goes 🤨???

“silly, they already left! so what do you wanna do?” you plop down next to him and he was in the process of sitting up

“what? when did they leave...” his mouth drops open

“like 2 minutes ago” you giggle, leaning back to rest your head

sunoo had sat still, pondering for a moment

“why did they leave us?” he turned to look at you

your eyes met his “well i figured you didnt wanna go... you didnt, right?”

he slowly shakes his head “how did you know?”

you give him a sneaky smile and jokingly push his arm “because i know you so well”

he laughs at this and leans his head on your shoulder

“wow y/n.. im impressed” he grins, snuggling into your arm

your other arm crosses over to pat him on the head, leaning your head to rest on top of his

“but thank you y/n..” his eyes slowly close to rest “im thankful for all the little things you notice about me”

u literally go 🥺

your hand goes down to squeeze his and he falls asleep peacefully on ur shoulder ☹️☹️☹️❤️

JUNGWON

“y/n..what is that” jungwons eyes can barely open as he tries to comprehend whats going on while hes waking up

you haphazardly tap around the bedside table trying to turn off the new alarm you set last night

and that new alarm was jungwon singing 🤗

“its you, dummy” your eyes were still closed but you turned to face jungwon and snuggled closer to him

“wha- where did you even get that???” he was almost fully awake now, staring down at your half asleep figure

you yawned before answering in your i-just-woke-up-and-i-should-probably-drink-some-water voice “remember when you sang me to sleep last week? yeah i was secretly recording you. no biggie” you pat his chest twice and leave your hand there, content with life at the moment Lol

“y/nnnn” he whines “change ittt i dont like it”

“you’re kidding.” you deadpan, shocked he would say such a thing!!! “jungwon you sound like an angel threw up on a field of flowers full of puppies and kittens! okay thats kinda weird maybe not that”

jungwon giggles a little and sits up so he can sit against the headboard while your head rests on his lap

“you like my singing that much?” you can hear the smile in his voice as he asks you

you finally pop one eye open to look up at him, a goofy grin in your face

“i love your singing”

his hands run through your hair and you let out a sigh at the feeling

jungwon doesnt say anything

all he does is admire you

you can feel his eyes on you so you open your eyes again (both this time🙏🏼) and meet his eyes

“i can feel you staring straight into the depths of my soul, jungwon”

he laughs at this, bring his other hand up to pinch your cheek

“i’ll sing for you whenever you want me to y/n”

NI-KI

“shut up sunghoon, hes sleeping” you whisper-scolded the boy

ni-ki was currently asleep on you

literally SPRAWLED all over your body and you were basically mummified

by nishimura riki

his legs were tangled in yours, his head shoved into your neck, and his arms were bent around you in ways you didnt know were humanly possible

“you literally have an alien taking a nap on you y/n” sunghoon deadpans before walking out the room

“when you’re asleep sunghoon i will send you into a spacecraft for the rest of your life so you can go see aliens for yourself”

“wowww im so scared y/n” the boy remarks and shuts the door

you half laugh and half scoff before turning your attention back to the ipad screen sitting on the bed infront of you

well

kind of infront of you because ni-ki’s acrobatic position was basically blocking the view

you were having a decent time watching the show playing, definitely not the most comfortable person on the planet at the moment

until you felt the body on top of you.. rumble?

you knew that feeling

ni-ki was laughing

HOW and WHY the hell was he laughing ?!!?!!?!

“what the hell?” you look down at him and his face is shoved near your shoulder but you caught a glimpse of his big smile

his laughter gets louder and you still dont have answers yet

“why are you laughing???? i thought you were sleeping?????” you try to push him off you but he was persistent in laughing in your shoulder (??)

after a couple minutes of you just letting this happen

ni-ki finally speaks!

“you’re so funny y/n” he finally pulls away from you and wipes his tears

“what are you even talking about... and how long were you awake, you sneaky kid” you poke his chest

he leans down again to hug your waist and start cuddling you again

“10 minutes”

“so you’re telling me i could’ve freed myself from that god awful demon EMBRACE you had me in 10 minutes ago???!!”

ni-ki starts laughing again and looks up at you

“thank you for threatening to send sunghoon to aliens for me y/n” he grins

you laugh, finally understanding what the boy had been going on about

“sunghoon deserved it”

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[islesnucks]

LAST NIGHT I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU - NOLAN PATRICK X READER

this started as a tyler seguin fic, was almost a brock boeser one for a second and turned out to be about Nolan lol

this was not proofread so yeah keep that in mind as you read it 

Word Count: 2k

Warning: mention of alcohol (?)

Smmary: the morning after you drunkenly confessed your feelings to Nolan - slightly inspired by the song Last Night by Lucy Spraggan

Masterlist

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-

Last night I told you I loved you

Woke up blamed it on the Vodka

I genuinely thought I was dyin'

And I could see that smile you were hiding

-

You woke up and the first thing you felt was pain. There was a banging in your head and your stomach felt sick. Memories from last night were blurry, there surely was alcohol involved. The last thing you remembered was walking into the bar with Nolan and TK by your side, then there was vodka involved. Or was it tequila? Maybe even both?

Feeling like the slightest move would make you throw up, you decided to snuggle further into the sheets trying to go back to sleep, hoping a couple more hours of sleep would make you feel better. That’s when you heard barks coming from outside the room, making your head pound. Then your eyes went wide when it hit you: you don’t own any dogs.

Looking around you confirmed this indeed wasn’t your bedroom, it was Nolan’s. The curtains were shut so the room was dark and you couldn’t see much, but you were able to make out your dress from last night folded on top of the armchair beside the bed.

You looked down and realized you indeed weren’t using your clothes, instead you had one of his old shirts on. Then you noticed your underwear was still on, a good sign you thought. But still you couldn’t remember anything from last night and that terrified you.

You weren't scared of what you could have done, you knew having the boys by your side ensure you nothing bad would happen. So you weren't scared that you had somehow ended up drunkenly dancing on top of  a table or making out with a complete stranger. No, the problem was that alcohol always loosened your tongue. What you were scared of was having confessed something you had worked so hard on holding in.

Gathering a little courage and still feeling like you may throw up any second, you got out of bed and made your way out of the room. The clacking of a pan and smell coming from the kitchen let you know Nolan was probably there cooking some breakfast or maybe lunch, you didn’t know what time it was. Taking one last deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, you made your way down the hall to the kitchen.

He was with his back to you, too busy stirring something on a pan to realize you had entered the room. That’s when his dogs approached you excited to see you, making him turn around to find you still half asleep, hair in a messy bun, some rests of makeup from last night on your face, dressed in his shirt that were long enough to cover everything. You were sure you looked horrible but he found it cute, the smile that formed on his face showed it.

“Hey, you’re alive.” He turned off the stove and proceeded to place what turned out to be scrambled eggs on two plates.

“I feel like shit.” You took a seat on one of the barstools by the kitchen island.

“Sorry, did the bark wake you? I was keeping them in the living room so they wouldn’t bother you but Charlie sneaked out.” he said, giving the dog a stern look, but Charlie was too distracted enjoying as you petted him to notice.

“No don’t worry I was already awake, agonizing in bed, but awake.”

He placed the plate with everything he had cooked and a cup of coffee in front of you and you thanked him as he took a seat next to you. He was quiet per usual, but the Nolan you knew would have thrown some snarky remark about how much of a lightweight you are and he’s never going out with you again. That concerned you a bit. However he seemed normal, no awkward looks or anything that made you think you had messed up in any way last night.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” he suddenly said bringing you back to reality. There it was, something did happen. You could feel your heart in your throat, but you tried to play it cool.

“No… Wait we didn’t-”

“No!” he was quick to cut you off, slightly offended that you thought that could’ve happened. “You were wasted Y/N, I’d never take advantage like that.” He then realized he admitted nothing happened because you were drunk, not because he didn’t want it to happen; but you were too busy panicking to realize.

“I know, I know. It’s just that I woke up in your bed, with your clothes on.” you tried to explain.

“We ubered back here, you were asleep the whole ride, I helped you change your clothes and gave you my bed. I slept on the couch.” Relief washed over your body, deep down you knew nothing like that could have happened, but hearing it made you feel better, like a huge weight was being taken off your shoulders.

“Thank you Nols, you didn’t have to.”

“Leaving you alone in your apartment in the state you were in felt wrong.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m glad to know I didn’t do anything too stupid at the club.” you said, letting out a deep breath you didn’t even notice you had been holding on to.

“Well you didn’t do anything stupid at the club...” He didn't finish but that was enough to make you choke on the coffee you had been drinking.

“Shit what did I do?”

“Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry.” He brushed it off as he stood with his empty plate in hand and walked over to the sink.

“Nolan …” you questioned him, but he still wouldn’t look at you. Yet you could see the smile he was trying to hide and that was all the confirmation you needed. Something definitely happened. You got off your seat and made your way around the kitchen island.

“Nolan James Patrick. What did I do?” Your stern tone made him finally turn around with a look on his face you couldn’t quite explain, which only made your nerves grow.

“You said something.” 

“Shit.”

“You really don't remember?” He walked till he was standing next to you. “We were here, I had already helped you change, you were in bed ...” he started to explain, hoping it would refresh your memories because he didn’t have it in him to actually tell you what you had said.

And just like that the memory from last night hit you.

~

“This sucks.” you said letting yourself fall on the bed, not even trying to position yourself correctly.

“Well you should’ve stopped after the third shot like I told you.” Nolan was too busy folding your clothes to see the way you rolled your eyes.

“Not that. This. You are being so nice with me and it sucks.”

“You lost me there princess.” he said confused, brows narrowing but with a playful smile still on his face, the way you rambled incongruently was too cute for him not to.

“Because I’m just going to fall harder for you and I shouldn’t because we’re friends Patty. I can’t be in love with my friend.” you let out matter-of-factly, clearly all products of the alcohol that was still running through your veins.

He could not believe what he was hearing. His heart stopped at your words, but he tried to convince himself he had heard it wrong, God knows the many times he dreamed of you saying those words.

“It sucks that I’m in love with you.” you added and there was no denying it, he heard it clear this time.

“Y/N …” he started to say as he turned around but words died in his mouth when he realized you were already asleep.

~

“Shit!” you let out and your hands instantly went to cover your face. You had screwed it big time. Sure you could blame it on the alcohol but Nolan knew you, he knew you wouldn’t just invent something like that. And even if it worked, your friendship would never be like it was before.

“Just forget I ever said that, okay? I was drunk and I didnt know what I was saying. Fuck. I'm the worst'' you started to ramble as you walked around the kitchen, unable to keep still because of the anxious feeling deep in your chest. It felt like your world was spinning out of control and all you could think about was all you had lost the moment alcohol got the best of you and you confessed your feelings.

All of a sudden Nolan was standing in front of you, placing his hands on your sides to stop your pacing. You couldn’t look him in the face, knowing the moment he saw you he’d realized how much you meant everything you said last night.

“Hey calm down” He started caressing your arms gently up and down in a reassuring manner.

“I'm so sorry.” you said, tears threatening to fall down your face any moment. 

“Well I'm not.” he replied with a humorous tone that threw you off. You shoot your head up at him with a confused expression that only intensified once you realized he was smiling sheepishly at you.

“I’m actually really glad that happened because now I don’t have to worry about how you may react when I tell you how I feel about you.”

“I think the alcohol killed all my brain cells because I don’t understand a thing you're saying.”

Nolan rolled his eyes at your comment but couldn’t hide the smile on this face. His hands went to cup your face, pulling you closer to him as he wiped away gently with his thumb a few tears that you hadn’t been able to keep in.

“What I’m trying to say is: I love you too.” he said looking into your eyes tenderly.

“I swear if TK comes out of nowhere holding a camera or something I’m murdering both of you-”

“I’m not joking! I love you Y/N. I have for the longest time and I’m a little embarrassed it took you drunkenly confessing how you feel for me to have the balls to say it.” Nolan’s cheeks turned red and you had to bite your lip to not make a comment about it. His eyes full of adoration never left yours, making you feel the all too familiar butterflies, but this time it didn’t feel wrong. This time you didn’t have to hide it or push it away. No, because this time you knew he felt the same.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly and all you could do was nod. He started to lean in, heart beating fast in his chest just like yours. 

“Wait.” you said, stopping him when he was less than an inch away from connecting your lips. He pulled away to look down at you confused, hands still resting against your cheeks. “I haven't washed my teeth.” He let out a chuckle.

“I couldn't care less.” he said, leaning down to finally kiss you.

It started sweet and gently, neither of you could believe it was happening, too scared any second you’d wake up and realize it was all a dream. That was until your hands met on the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and bringing him closer, deepening the kiss. His hands left your face and moved down your back, pressing you against him as much as possible, clutching to you in any way possible. The kiss intensified with the second and you could not stop, you had been craving each other for so long it felt almost intoxicating to finally know what the other’s lips felt like.

-

thank you for reading, hope you liked it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

taglist: @glassdanse @2manytabsopen @barbienoturbby @petey-patty @chieflawyerpastatoad @iwantahockeyhimbo @fallinallincurls @jamiedrysdales @jordiee95

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[m4r13l3y]

Just found your blog 🌹Can I request a Soulmate AU for Sirius Black pls? Where he does his best to ignore it but then just totally can’t? I’ll leave it up to you what the actual soulmate mark/recognition thing is! TY 🖤

@fific7

Ofcourse! I love the idea, I’m not super confident in this, the beginning is not great, BUT it gets better I promise, I’ve been revising it for a while now, hopefully I did it justice, I hope you enjoy x 

A week with your Soulmate 

Sirius Black x Reader

Soulmate AU

Warnings; none that I can pinpoint

-

-

“Th' two soulmates write th' same, as they feel an' see.  One wilt not lie to their significant when they meet as 'tis wrong, an' only to know'st; when thou say their name that their love shall alway be thine.  We see dreams, dreams o what they experience an' thats how we shall know'st who our one true love is.

An' when they finally meet. They shall both dream o seeing eachother wast they shall know'st how to love one another”

- 

A Stag, a rat, dog, and a wolf was all she knew

Every once in a while she would have this dream of her soulmate. Sometimes different “adventures” as she liked to call them, but they always involved those four animals

Was her soulmate an animagi? Maybe it was an animal? Y/n didn’t know

But as always, when she woke up she took out her notebook and wrote what she remembered. As her dreams were things that her soulmate had or will live through soon.

-

On the other side of the tower she awoke in was her soulmate. Waking up as usual, pretending the dreams he had weren’t important.

“Morning” Sirius yawned to his roommates as they muttered heys and hellos back

“Any dreams?” Remus asked

Brown, green, and a library

“None at all” he lied right through his teeth, why did he lie? He couldn’t be able to tell himself, He didn’t believe that he deserved any soulmate, why would a guy like him have someone to call his “Forever love” as James liked to put it 

But that didn’t mean his mind didn’t wander. 

He saw the green, maybe she was a Slytherin? Then a library, maybe she liked reading, but the brown was something he never paid attention too. Half of the people at hogwarts had brown hair so there was no point in dwelling on that

“Maybe you don’t have a soulmate” James laughed

“The most probable” Sirius shrugged as if it were nothing. Getting ready for his day, big day, not that he knew yet though

-

The day went by as normal to the two oblivious soon-to-be lovers, breakfast then their classes and now it was finally time for the day to end. Just potions left

“Ah mister black so nice for you to grace us” slughorn smiled at the ebony-haired boy who walked in 3 minutes late

“Sit next to miss y/l/n” Sirius nodded and complied

His breath hitched a bit walking towards your seat, he’d seen you around school, sometimes in the common room as you did your homework and laughed with your friends or talked with Lily, but he’d never spoken to you. 

“Do you have parchment?” He asked you sitting down, “yea” you smiled kindly and passed him a page

Usually you’d lie if you did have parchment, since you never had much to just spare, but to Sirius you didn’t. You didn’t feel a need to

Class went on like a blur, slughorns babbling went on and on, all you thought about was going to your dorm and sleeping; maybe even finding your soulmate

“Okay you will be doing a 5 page essay on Felix felices with your partners” slughorn stated “By Tuesday next week I’ll be expecting it”

“We can meet up in the library at six tonight and start on it” you looked at Sirius who nodded as the two of you walked out and went your separate ways to the gryffindor tower

-

Six o’clock came around and you made your way to the library

6:05

Sirius was still not here, so you took the liberty to get the books you two needed

6:10

Still not here, enough to be running late, but not standing you up

6:13

The tall black-haired boy finally made his way in, seeming out of breath

“Where were you?” You asked

“I wasn’t busy” he shrugged “I forgot”

His eyes went wide as he realized that he didn’t lie? His mind told him I’d be better to tell her the truth and that’s what he did, even thought it was harsh and he felt kind of bad for it

“Oh” “well we can start now” you smiled at him

You asked him to look through the books and write down any facts or things that’d be useful to write, while you started on the introduction with the information you already knew 

Peering at him, you saw a very neatly written parchment of notes

“I like your writing” you stated looking at his writing that seemed awfully familiar

“Thanks” he smiled “I don’t know where I got it from my family writes awfully”

Looking back at your parchment you saw that the two of you shared a unique font

“Look” you grabbed his paper “twins”

He chuckled at your fascination to his writing, his body feeling warm and safe with you around didnt feel a need to be witty or corny. Just to be himself, feeling relaxed

The rest of your night with Sirius went by nicely, the both of you got two full pages down and agreed to meet up again the next day.

“I’ll walk you to the common room” he smiled down at you as you picked up the remaining books “thanks” you blushed a bit at his kindness

The walk back was in silent. Comfortable silence. Both of you felt no need to have to speak to one another.

As you find your way into the common room you found Three boys, who call themselves the marauders, sitting on the couch seemingly waiting for Sirius to arrive

“Thanks for tonight” you smiled up at him, “my pleasure” he winked at you

You made your way in to your room, getting ready for bed, ready to find out what your dream will be tonight

-

“I promise I’ll take care of you” you heard a male voice say, you were sat under a tree in front of a lake that you recognized as the black lake, books in front of you, but you couldn’t recognize the voice or the male who was speaking it.

“I will too Sirius” he heard a female declare to him. He saw himself under what he concluded to be a tree, a lake in front of him and a woman next to him though he couldn’t see the woman’s face.

-

You woke up with a gasp and quickly took out your notebook, that meant something right? You’d never had a dream like that before, it was always the same one with the dog, wolf, a rat, and a stag.

He woke up with a bit of a smile on his face, ignoring the small feeling in the stomach that made him think that the dream was important. Maybe it had something to do with his so-called soulmate, but why now?

“Any dreams?” James asked

“nope” he lied once again.

The day went by quickly, as you anticipated your study “date” with Sirius, he seemed like a nice guy, the two of you had never actually talked before though, and from what Lily said as she began hanging out with the marauders after she figured out James was her soulmate, he was one.

-

“Hi” you smiled up at the raven haired haired boy as he walked up to you, on time today. “Hello” he smiled

“We can start on how to brew it now and it’s effects” you stated, he nodded in agreement and began working

You turned to him “do you know anything about the soulmates” he shrugged, “nothing at all”

“Do you have any dreams?” you asked, “yeah” he replied

His brain was surprised that he let himself not lie to you, he felt vulnerable with you, in a good way

“Well I was reading that your dreams have something to do with your soulmate” you stated, “what do you see in yours?”

“Nothing much, some colors, brown hair” he shrugged, that wasn’t a complete lie, just not the full truth.

“Well I think you should maybe write it down, it could help you find them”

-

As the night progressed, you and Sirius finished the third page of your essay. “Can you wait for me?” You asked,

“yeah” he smiled watching you to descend into one of the halls filled with books

“Okay we can go now” you giggled, putting a copy of soulmates into your book bag

Same as the night before, the two of you walked in a comfortable silence, as you got into the common room you said your goodbyes and you ascended upstairs, hearing some voices of the boys Sirius hung out with

“How was your date” Remus smirked, “S’not a date” Sirius shrugged

“Maybe shes your soulmate” Lily joined into the conversation

“I’d doubt it” he denied “Shes too good”

-

Back in your dorm, you were opening the pages to the index of your book

“What they are... how to be happy...” you whispered to yourself reading the chapters, “how to find them” a- ha, exactly what you needed. You flipped the pages quickly and began reading

“An' when they finally meet. They shall both dream o seeing eachother wast they shall know'st how to love one another”

You kept rereading the sentence

What did it mean?

From what you understood it meant that when you met your soulmate you had a dream about when you learned to love each other

You took out your notebook, to find any notes about any new dreams you had, but the only one was the one you had last night. The one you had the night you met Sirius

A small smile kept onto your lips, thinking that maybe, the raven haired boy was your soulmate

-

The next day you didn’t have any school, all of your friends were out at hogsmead, and surprisingly, so we’re his friends

He saw you come down the stairs with a book in your hand, “Why arent you at hogsmead?” He asked

“I can ask you the same thing” you replied with a bit of a smile, sitting next to him.

“Have you had any different dreams?” You asked, “yea” he shrugged, eyeing the book you had in hand

“Do you want to do our potions essay?”

“Sure” he gave you a smile

The two of you worked silently, but fluently until you finished one more page

“it seems were done” you stated “seems we are” he replied,

“What time is it?” You asked

“Four”

“Oh still early” you shrugged “well I’ll be upstairs if you want to see me” Giggling, you walked up the stairs

As you went upstairs to your dorm, he saw that you left your quill and ink on the couch along with the book. He grabbed the three objects and put them in his bag, but kept the book with the intention of giving it to you later

He read through some endless chapters, until he came across some sentences that sparked his interest

“An' when they finally meet. They shall both dream o seeing eachother wast they shall know'st how to love one another”

Putting two and two together, his heartbeat sped up, but he chose to ignore it. Maybe you were his soulmate? You couldn’t be. He was too... Sirius and you were... well you were y/n half of the boys in your grade wanted you to themselves and you were perfect

-

You were laying in bed, looking for your quill because you wanted to write in your notes

You heard a small knock at your door, “Lily find your key!” You yelled

“It’s not lily” you heard a male voice chuckle

As you open the door, a small blush crept onto your cheeks. “Oh sorry” you giggled

“you forgot these” he shrugged extending his arm to reveal your quill and ink

“Oh thank you” you smiled

“Do you want to go to hogsmead?” he shrugged

“Sure” you kindly smiled at him, “but” your face dropped “how are we going to get there?”

His face lit up immediately and he held his hand out for you “Follow me m’lady”

You took his hand with a smile, and followed him “Where are going Sirius” you giggled

“Secret” he whispered, opening a door that you’d never seen before “come on in im right behind you”

You crawled in and followed the path “if you’re going to kill me please don’t”

He chuckled “I won’t kill you just because you said”

As you made it to the end you saw a trap door up top “Push it” he ordered “No you push it” you moved to the side

As he did, he got up and stuck his hand out. Getting out of the tunnel you saw honey dukes

“Oh” you smiled “Pretty”

“Very” Sirius looked at you, “Butterbeer?” You looked at him and he nodded

The two of you walked into the three broomsticks, that was empty by now

“Two butter beers please” Sirius asked the lady as she went to get them

“So why have we never talked?” You inquired

“Erm I don’t know actually” Sirius took the two butter beers and handed one to you

Your time with Sirius was spent with getting to know each other he asked about some books you liked to read;

“You read right?” He asked and you nodded “what’s your favorite quote”

A huge smile painted itself on your face, no one had ever asked you that before

“I think it’s ‘What we love, we mention’” you smiled

“Why?” He asked

“Erm I don’t know I just find it nice” you giggled

He also told you things he’d never told anyone, like about his family and you didn’t judge him which felt nice

It felt nice to be with you, not keeping up a facade of being very confident

-

Walking back you saw that Sirius was clearly cold, “here” you took your scarf off and turned to him

“No its fine-“ you cut him off “I insist, you’re gonna get a cold and I do not want to finish that essay alone”

He chuckled and let you put it on him “handsome” you smiled

His cheeks painted a vermilion color, he never had a girl complement him, he always complemented them “oh” he nervously laughed “thanks”

“Don’t get nervous on me black I thought you were a ladies man” you teased

“Me nervous?” He sniggered “never”

“Come on” you walked a bit infront of him, holding out your hand looking at the castle

He took it as the two of you walked into the castle

As always, the walk was quiet until he offered to walk you into your dorm 

You agreed, maybe he’d read the book you “aciddentaly” left yesterday, and realized you might be his soulmate 

The two made your way and as you opened the door he took a good look in the room, your green sheets green, vines of plants around the four poster bed green, and books on the floors library

“I have to go” he stated and walked back down quickly, he had put two and two together and realized the posibility of you being his “Forever” was awfully high

A small frown appeared on your face, maybe he didn’t want you to be his soulmate 

-

The next day, you two, as usual met in the library, but earlier 

“Why’d you leave so..” you trailed off “out of nowhere”

“oh” he faked a chuckle “My friends got to the common room”, that wasn’t a complete lie. Though he didn’t know before, his friends were in the common room, and ready to investigate;

“Why were you in the girls dormitories?” Lily asked, “Oh nothing I was just returning a quill to someone i knew” He shrugged it off, walking up to his dorm. Nerves filling his body as he realized you could be his soulmate, Insecurities filling his body as he knew you were too good for him, you were nice and beautiful, Perfect. He was nothing of that sort

“Oh okay, maybe someday you can actually stay more than one minute” You giggled, as he nodded and chuckled in agreement 

-

“Oh thats good” you smiled finishing the last sentence “were finally done”

You took one breath, you might regret this, but it was worth a try “So did you read the book I left” you asked 

“yea” he smiled, “Did you see anyhting interesting?��� You inquired

“Nothing at all” Sirius shrugged, “I don’t think I have a soulmate” He lied “Or atleast I don’t think I’ve met them yet” He lied again for the first time since you’d met 

Before you could express any feelings, James interrupted “Hey meet us in five it’s important” 

He nodded and looked at you “See you” 

You nodded and let him go, maybe he wasn’t your soulmate after all 

This time your walk back to the common room was silent, and lonely. Though you and sirius never talked while walking, the comforting silence was all you needed to feel safe, and you never realized how lonely it felt without it 

While you walked back, the four marauders were discussing in the Room of Requirements 

“Alright I have to confess” Sirius stated “I’ve been having those dreams and I think I know who my soulmate is” 

“Okay well spill it” James sat down, Remus and Peter listening in 

“I think its y/n” “But I doubt it she’s much too good”

“Ah don’t say that” Remus joined “She’s nice and she helped us prank Sniv once” 

“Oh yea” james chuckled “she’s cool” 

“whatever” He moved on “What about you rem what’re your dreams”

-

You and Sirius agreed to meet up once again to revise and check the essay

Your day at the library was different, felt a bit lonely, Sirius was distant and your heart sunk a bit. You thought you’d gotten pretty close to the Raven-haired prince throughout your week with him, but supposedly not 

“Are you alright?” You asked him, “fine” he didn’t even look at you

“Are you sur-“ he cut you off “I said I’m fine” “are we done?”

“I guess” you whispered, and without another word he left

-

The next days were spent without Sirius, he moved seats in potions and barely met your gaze

It was finally dinner and you couldn’t wait to go to your dorm and sleep in the whole weekend

Ignoring your friends calls while they talked, you focused on looking at the table and how interesting it suddenly became 

“Sirius” Lily nudged him “What the fuck is wrong with you” 

“What” he snapped out of his daydream 

“You wanker” she angrily spoke “What did you say to y/n shes been off all week” 

“Nothing” he shrugged looking at you, the guilt he’d burried deep and pretended he didn’t have all resurfaced seeing you without your signature smile 

“You wouldn’t shut up about her for a week and now you guys aren’t talking?” Remus asked 

“I don’t want to talk about it” He rolled his eyes and went back to eating 

You were dismissed by dumbledore and you stood up without waiting for anyone 

“Y/n” lily caught up with you “Fuck you walk fast” 

You let out a small fake smile “yes lily” 

“Are you going to hogsmead tomorrow?” she asked, “Mm probably not but thanks” You kept on your walk back to your room, physically and mentally exhausted from your week 

-

The next morning you’d waken up later than everyone, 1pm 

Everyone had definetely already left for hogsmead so you decided to take yourself on a date

You got ready, putting on a basic outfit, emptying your book bag and filling it with some snacks, a blanket, and your journal you made your way out, no specific place to go, just wherever your feet took you

You found your way to the black lake, it seemed to be a good place to be

You laid your blanket down and set the snacks down aswell, starting to read a poetry book you found 

“Y/l/n!” You heard a male voice yell from afar “Sirius?” you whispered 

“y/n” he sat “Let me speak okay” you nodded 

“erm okay fuck okay” he tried to find the words “I think you’re my soulmate and I see why, but you’re really perfect and I’m not- im far from that.” He chuckled “but really do like you and I had never felt nervous around a girl so it freaked me out and I’m sorry because it sucked not talking to you and I- again- really do like you. And you know how you said ‘the things we love we mention’ well yea I think I must really love you because I mention you all the time-” You cut him off with a kiss

“I promise i’ll take care of you” he whispered

“I will too Sirius” you kissed him again

 “Just please don’t push me away like that again it really sucked” you chuckled 

“I won’t I promise” he smiled, holding your waist as you two laid in eachother’s embrace until noon when you decided to go back to the castle 

The walk back was, as usual, quiet. Until you got back to the common room and said your goodbyes, but with a kiss 

And for once you didn’t care to where your mind was going to take you as you slept, because now your reality was much better than dream you’ve ever had

-

-

Taglist; 

@wonderfilworld

To be added to my taglist click here <3

-

Ahh hope you liked this, hope I did your amazing idea justice. 

Love, 

m

[ughitsnic]

Remember when: Chris Evans

Over 2k words... which a hell of a lot for me. i dont really know what i was doing with this one but i had fun writing it. angst? yeah kinda

It was never Chris' fault, he was so caring and full of love but that was just who he was. It was that you were in a relationship that felt forced and that was moving way too fast and way too public for both of your liking. It was tough on you where as before you would happily go places together, baseball games, go out for food get a drink, walk the dogs. But now? Everyone was watching over analyzing the headlines were ridiculous people conspiring about an inevitable break up because you both looked stressed.

"Hey" you sigh, putting the groceries down on kitchen island and kicking off your shoes. "Im home!" No answer. You take your time unpacking and putting everything away neatly in the fridge. You shut the door and look at the polaroid picture stuck on by a mickey mouse fridge magnet. A picture of you and Chris from when you were younger at disney in front of the epcot ball, vanilla ice cream allover your faces. You smile, you couldn't remember much from the trip because you were both only 8 but you did remember telling each other you were going to be best friends forever.

"Did you get stuff for waffles?" Chris questions, walking in only in his gray sweatpants.

"Yep, I got whipped cream, strawberries, blueberries and chocolate syrup" you tell him, putting the picture back up.

"God I love you" he mumbles, kissing your cheek and getting a bottle of water out the fridge.

"Do you remember this?" You question.

"I remember you crying on the tower of terror"

"No i didn't” you say defensively”

“Yes you did, you didn't stop crying for like half an hour!” he laughs

“At least i didn't piss my pants!" You fire back, laughing.

"Hey! I didn't piss my pants" he groans.

"Yes you did!"

"No it was a tiny bit" he stresses.

"So you pissed"

"Y/N stop" he laughs. "I'm still embarrassed" his cheeks pink.

"Shut up pissypants" you giggle

"Y/n!" he drags out, pouting.

"What are you gonna do tell your mum?" You question.

"I might" he shrugs, finishing his water.

"Oh please do" you laugh.

"Stop i was like 5"

"We were 8!"

"So! You know what" he points trying to hold back his laughter. "I didn't forget when we had that sleepover and you had that sex dream about Jackson and you woke me up sleep talking" your cheeks burn.

"Oh my god shut up" you cover your face.

"Oooo Jackson" he says in a high pitch voice.

"It wasn't a sex dream" you stress. "Fine. Remember when..." you trail off, you lock eyes, both widening knowing you're thinking of the same thing.

"Dont!"

"When you had sex with Jessica and you only lasted 20 seconds!"

"We both know that isn't the case anymore" he winks trying to play it cool but you can read him like a book and the pained expression on his face let you know that he was dying on the inside, thinking back.

"How old were you again?" You tease

"Baby, stop it" he begs.

"Okay, i'll stop" you stomach hurt from laughing so much. "I wonder if Jessica remembers?" You ponder walking over to give him a hug and to tease him even more.

"You're the worst" he mumbles against your hair letting out a little laugh.

"I heard she has kids now, so does Jackson," he says quietly. You press your lips together pulling away.

"I think i'm going to go take a shower before you make those waffles" you say quietly, the entire mood shifting. He just nods. That was the thing it was great, brilliant even, when you joked around and just hung out until actual relationship stuff came up, like the subject of kids. The plan was always for yours and Chris's kids to be best friends just like you two were because both of your moms were. The plan never was to have kids together, the plan was never to start dating in the first place.

"Can I join you?" Chris questions snapping you back to reality. You really had no clue if Chris felt the same about this whole thing.

"Another time?"

"I promise I'll last longer than 30 seconds" he smiles.

"Who said anything about that?" You question biting back a smile. You could never say no. He was just mind blowing in bed, on the couch, on and against the counter top, in the back seat of the car, the shower was no exception. In fact this entire thing started because you both decided, wine drunk, that you should sleep together. You were both fresh out of relationships, both sad and horny. And when people saw you leaving the guest room they assumed you were secretly together, so you both decided to give it a try. You were just 'testing the waters' and to start with it was perfect for everything you could want but now? You just wanted your best friend but if you did break up would there be a friendship?

“Are you being serious right now Chris?” you were so angry.

“What?” he questions confused. Is he being for real?

“In that interview you said you were hoping to have kids in the near future!”

“Whats the issue, we’ve been together for over a year y/n, we aren’t getting any younger!” he stresses. “I do want kids, and you want kids but what is your problem? Is it me?” he questions, he looked heart broken. “Why don’t you want a family with me?”

“I’m just not ready yet Chris, i don’t want to rush things” you lie… well was it a lie? You wanted to wait and see if this was even going to work out.

"I’ve known you all your life i know when you're lying! Do you know how embarrassing it is when there's pictures of your girlfriend ducking out the way so i don’t kiss you? Its fucking embarrassing y/n you need to figure out what you want from me because i’m starting to think we both have very different priorities!" Chris shouts, you reach for his arm as he tries to leave. "Just give me some space"

At night you lay on opposite ends of the bed despite both of you being cuddlers.

"Whats on your mind?" You question, watching him chew at his lip.

"Nothing just tired" he lies.

"I know when you're lying" you sit up.

"And i know when you’re lying" he snaps. "I’m sorry" he quickly apologizes before wiping his eyes. "I’m sorry that i don’t make you happy" his voice was unsteady.

"You do make me happy" you crawl across the bed and pull him into a tight embrace, his head resting on your shoulder.

"You can be honest with me" he mumbles, running his fingers through your hair. "I see you pull your hand away when i go to hold it, i see how you cringe when i call you baby" he sounded heart broken.

"Chris" you whisper, your own heart breaking because you knew exactly where this was going.

"No don’t lie, i know you hate that we cant go anywhere with out people taking pictures and over analyzing everything we do. I see how you dodge the subject of babies and i know you want one" he sighs. "But not with me and that’s okay... I’m sorry but i don’t think i can do this anymore. I love you y/n i really do but i’m not in love with you" he lifts his head up to look at you, his eyes already red and puffy

"I-I don’t want to lose you" Your eyes sting and he just sighs, you felt as though you couldn’t breath. Even though you knew this would be the outcome it didnt hurt any less.

"You wont" he assures.

"What? Are we just going to look back in 10 years and be like wow remember the time you ate my coochie for like an hour and we pretended to love each other" you try to lighten the mood despite the heavy flow of tears from the both of you.

"You really do have a way with words y/n, but exactly" he forces a smile, despite his cheeks being stained with fresh tears. "Or remember the time when i lasted way long than 30 seconds" you let out a shaky laugh.

"I cant believe you’re breaking up with me" you mumble.

"If you want, you can break up with me?" He questions 

"Remember the time i dumped your ass?" 

"I do i cried like a baby just like you did when we watched marley and me for the first time" he reminisces

"Hey" you nudge his shoulder playfully. "You cried at that movie too"

"I did" he frowns. "Its a sad movie"

"I know bub. But what do we do now?"

"I don’t know. Do you want to spend some time apart?" He asks and you shrug. Usually after a break up you would find your self at Chris's house for a week or to or vice versa.

"I- I just broke up with a really amazing guy and i really need my best friend right now" you start to cry all over again. "Because i don’t want to lose him"

"You’ll never lose me" Chris whispers, now holding you in his arms rubbing circles on your back. "I love you"

"Ouch too soon" you joke wiping your tears again.

"I love you, platonically" he corrects. "Now? Do you want to watch back to the future or lion king?" Both of them were yours and Chris’s go to films when growing up. "I’m going to go get us some snacks"

"Its 2 am" you remind him.

"So? It will be like old times" he smiles. "Only this time my dad wont come in and shout at us for talking too loud"

"Remember when we were playing on the playstation at like 4am and your dad came in and split us up so we would actually sleep"

"Yeah" he smiles, his eyes bright. "I had to sleep on the couch and you got my bed but you come and got on the other couch so you weren’t alone because you were scared of the dark"

"It wasn’t me who was scared of the dark it was you"

"Maybe was both of us... maybe it was me" he laughs.

"I cant wait to tell everyone i dumped captain america" you laugh.

Whilst it wasn’t what you wanted you both took a step back from each other you moved out and got an apartment the other end of town and hardly ever saw Chris because he was always filming but you still got to see dodger all of the time, watching him when his family couldn’t. Sometimes you’re relationship gets brought up in interviews and he just smiles and shrugs.

"People say marrying or even just dating your best friend is the best thing you could do, but when you've been best friends since you were born it doesn’t really work. Its like we dated because we owed it to our self and our families to see if we would work out. We didn’t. That’s okay and thankfully we are still friends. Maybe its not actually mutual and that i’m just harassing her and y/n is too nice to tell me to tell me to leave her alone. please hang out with me y/n lets go get food, come watch a movie" he jokes. "No" he shrugs. "We are still best friends"

You were sat in the passenger seat of Chris’s car as he speeds down the road, the radio blaring.

"If you don’t stop with this crazy driving you’re going to send me into labor a month early" you tell him.

"That’s the plan i cant wait to meet my niece" he smiles stopping at a red light, he reaches over and rests his hand on your large bump. You groan as she starts to kick, it was something about Chris's voice she loved.

"She better not replace me" you joke.

"I guess you can come to our movie nights" he smiles. You were currently on your way to a restaurant out of town, you were craving the food and your fiance Matthew was at work so Chris offered to take you. Your laughter dies down and you just listen to the radio. Moral of the story playing, you could help but laugh to you self quietly looking over at Chris who was in deep thought. Was he thinking the same thing as you? Or did this some almost perfectly describe those 18 months you were together?

(btw my requests are open so feel free to send anything in)

[thisbisexualbrainrot]

15x20: Soft Epilogue

Here I go writing fix it fic again. It’s almost 2am and I couldnt sleep until I posted it. I hope its enjoyable. Definitely fluff and a little angst thrown in as well. The soft epilogue with happy endings that Sam and Dean deserved. I didnt get a good place to mention this in the fic, but I believe Sam and Eileen would have rebuilt the American Men of Letters together. :)  _________________

Sunlight glinted against the black impala as she flew down the back country road. It was midday and the air was warm. Turns out when you are fighting for your life, you forget to pay attention to the seasons change. Sam was grateful they could pay attention to that now. 

He checked his phone again. No response yet. Where is she? 

“Hey um... Eileen hasn't called me yet and she's not answering. Do you think she didn't come back?” Sam asked, glancing over at Dean who was tapping his hand on the wheel. 

“Jack wouldn't do that, he would bring her back with everyone else. It's okay Sammy. She'll be there.” Dean assured him, he gave Sam a smirk and looked back at the road. “She probably just doesn't have a phone remember?” 

“Yeah, you're right.” Sam sighed, running his hand through his hair. She has to be there. Dean noticed Sam fidgeting and stepped on the gas.

In the backseat, Miracle barked in approval. 

Before Dean even had the car in park, Sam opened the passenger door and ran up to Eileen's door. Dean chuckled as he watched Sam bound up and the front door opened quickly. Eileen ran out to meet him and the two crashed into each other. Smiles, kisses, laughter. Good Dean thought Sammys happy. For the first time, Dean isn't worried about his little brother anymore. They changed the world, for good, and now Sam has a real chance for a real relationship. Eileen is good for him. 

Eventually Dean got out of the car, Eileen gave him a hug and signed while saying “Thank you.”

Dean looked at Sam, who hadn’t stopped grinning ear to ear, and smirked “Yeah well, now he's your problem.” “Yeah okay” Sam laughed. “I’ll call you later”. Eileen wrapped her arm around Sam’s waist and Dean was confident he wouldn’t be hearing from his brother for a while. 

“Yeah yeah” Dean smiled, “You kids have fun.” 

“I'm 37, Dean.” 

Dean gave them a shit eating grin and slid into the impala “I'm gonna go check on Jody and the girls. Apparently Claire is really pissed she got zapped and missed everything. She keeps texting me.” 

Dean put the car in reverse and he noticed Eileen jump into Sam's arms and kiss him as the car pulled away. Deans phone was laying on the passenger seat and it vibrated with another text from Claire: 

How is Cas? Is he with you? 

---

The lights flickered on in the bunker as Dean walked in with Miracle at his heels and he shut the heavy door behind them. The emptiness of it felt especially loud as he had spent the last few days sleeping on Jody’s couch in a house full of teenagers. 

He sighed as he remembered telling them about Cas. He couldn't meet Jody’s eye the entire time. He kept it simple, just told them what he had told Sam and Jack: 

Cas summoned the empty. 

Cas saved him. 

Cas was gone.  

Claire especially didn't take it well and the first night she fell asleep leaning on Dean's shoulder in front of the TV. Kaia came downstairs and Dean woke Claire up long enough for her to let Kaia lead her up to their room. 

Poor kid he thought as he picked up the decanter and filled his glass. He had gotten a text from Sam: 

Going on a trip with Eileen actually. We thought some time away might help us find normal again, if that's even possible. Call you later? 

Dean sent a short response telling Sam that was fine and tossed his phone on the library table.

What to do now? 

The whole world was open, skys the limit. For the first time he had no one to protect, no world to save, no monsters to hunt...just his own thoughts in an empty bunker. Well, except for his dog curled up next to his feet. It was terrifying and Dean found himself pounding down whiskey a lot faster than he intended. 

A few glasses in and he started praying. 

“Cas…” he whispered to the silence “Cas..I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” Dean felt his eyes fill with tears. “Cas...why didn't you tell me before...”

“Dean” 

Dean's head shot up. He must have really drank way too much because there was absolutely no way this was real. But there Jack was, standing in front of him with the same white jacket, same innocent smile on his face. 

“Hello” he said, raising his hand. “I'm here for your advice.” 

He said it so sincerely, Dean couldn't help but let out a sad, drunk laugh. His body relaxed a little and he looked up at him. “Man you can't just pop in- I mean you can it's just….Jack, I'm not in the place to be givin’ you advice anymore alright? Besides, I thought you were going to be all hands off?” 

“I am, mostly. I think. I don't really know, I'm still figuring it out. Amara is helping me.” Jack waited patiently while Dean’s intoxicated mind took in this information. 

“Alright” Dean stood up and leaned against the table, his arms crossed. Strangely, talking to Jack as whatever he was, was easier than he thought. He missed this. “What’s going on kid?”  

Jack nodded at Dean’s approval to ask. “I want to take Cas out of the empty but Amara said I should ask you.” 

Dean froze. His mouth went dry. Cas. “So you- you can get him out?”

“Yes, it seems quite possible. Chuck showed me how in his memories. He was able to pull Lucifer out and Amara told me it should work for Cas as well.” 

Dean's head was spinning. “I..um well, why are you asking me then?” 

“You are very important to him Dean.” Jack said with such firm resolve, “If you think this is a bad idea, I will respect that. Amara said it should be up to you.” 

Dean's heart leaped at the thought of seeing Cas again. Panic mixed with pure elation. He was terrified but of course the answer was obvious. “Yeah..” Dean whispered. “Yeah” he repeated louder, clearing his throat “Yeah, Bring him back.” Dean swallowed and looked at the floor. His mind desperately trying to understand that this was happening, this was real. Cas.

Jack smiled “That's what I told her you would say. Thank you Dean. Give me a moment.” and disappeared. The silence was deafening and then Dean heard his phone vibrate. He spun around and almost fell over a chair getting to where it laid abandoned on the table. “...Cas?” 

“No, Dean it's Sam. Are you okay?” “Sammy I um....” Dean couldn't find the words “Jack, he was here.” 

“What? Dean what's going on?” 

“He-...” And then Miracle started barking and Dean let his phone drop to the floor.

“Hello Dean”

He was standing a few feet away, this couldnt be real.  “...Cas I..” Dean started but he lost the ability to speak. He was really there. Rumpled trench coat, crooked tie, tousled hair and bright blue eyes. Dean tried to speak again. Why couldn't he say anything else? Too drunk, too stunned and too afraid to move. Damn it. “Cas...you’re here.”

“Yes” Cas smiled “I'm here.” Dean sensed a nervous caution in his voice. “It's good to see you Dean.” “Cas, what the hell were you thinking?” Dean’s voice was low and Cas furrowed his brow.

“I was protecting you.” 

Dean shook his head like he didn't want to hear it. Like he wouldn't accept that as a reason.

“Dean, BIllie would have killed us. You know that. The world needed you alive Dean. I needed you alive.” Cas paused and met Deans’ gaze again. “It was more important to make sure you were safe.” 

Dean pursed his lips and closed his eyes in frustration. “Im sorry, more important?” Dean looked at Cas again,  “No. You don't get to dip out. You should have told me about that deal! I could have helped you! I could have-... Damn it Cas!” Dean slammed the chair next to him and heard it clatter on the floor. 

“Dean I did what I needed to do. And I don’t regret any of it.” Cas let his voice raise a little in responsive anger but he chose his next words carefully, “I don't regret what I said and I don't regret saving your life.” Despite Dean's outward display of anger, Cas knew Dean was reacting out of love. This anger was misplaced guilt. “You owe me nothing Dean. None of this was your fault.” 

Dean was just drunk enough that he faltered, his voice breaking as he said “Cas, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Cas..I didn't stop you...I couldn't tell you...” 

Cas moved toward him then, reaching a hand to wipe away the tears Dean didn't realize were falling down his face. Dean could feel his heart aching against his ribs. How did he tell him that images of that moment came back to him every night, swallowed up in black? Cas crying, Dean reaching, Cas disappearing. Over and over they haunted him.

Cas lifted his hand away but felt Deans rough fingers stop him, holding his hand in place. “Cas….Tell me again. What you said..please..”

“Dean...” 

“No I..” Dean breathed out “I need to hear it Cas. Please tell me again.” 

Cas brought his head closer to rest on Dean’s forehead, closing his eyes. Dean lowered their hands, still grasping on in desperation. Cas could feel Dean shaking as he moved closer to him. Dean let his eyes flutter closed when he felt Cas rest against him. After a moment of silence, Cas said in a quiet voice “I love you Dean.” 

Dean wasn't sure if it was the whiskey or the feeling of Cas’s skin, warm and real against his face.Maybe it was just the pure joy that Cas was here or the relief that he would never leave him again. But he needed more, he needed to feel Cas. He needed to touch him. He moved in slowly, brushing their noses together. Cas’s breath staggered as he let Dean make the decision. Dean grazed his lips along the angels mouth and everything felt warm. The kiss was soft and cautious. Dean moved his mouth slowly, carefully and Cas leaned in slightly, letting Dean set the pace. And then, realization. 

Oh. Oh.

The energy changed and Cas felt Dean’s kiss deepen, his hand reaching up to wind fingers into Cas’s hair. And it was then that Cas allowed himself to grab onto Dean, pulling him in by his flannel. He breathed in Dean's scent, pine mixed with bourbon and aftershave and Dean let his other hand up to rest on Cas’s neck. He could feel the angel’s pulse racing as he pulled back to look at him. “This is...okay right?” 

“Yes” Cas breathed, and immediately pulled Dean in again. 

---

When Sam walked into the bunker he noticed the lights were on and a chair was toppled over in the library. Deans phone on the floor. But he didn't see anyone. “Dean?” 

Eileen followed after him, calling out for Dean. Sam ran to Dean’s room and when Eileen followed, Sam stopped her before she called out for Dean again. He gestured into the room. “Look” he signed to her. 

Dean was sleeping, his head resting on Castiel’s chest. Miracle was curled up at the bottom of the bed, her head resting on Dean's leg. Sam noticed Cas, in nothing but boxers and a t-shirt, calmly placing his fingers on Dean's temple. A pale blue glow kept Dean’s dreams peaceful and Cas ran his fingers through short hair as his hunter slept soundly. 

 “Cas?” Sam whispered, in disbelief that the angel was alive. Cas gently slid out from under Dean and moved to the door, shutting it carefully behind him.

 Sam smiled “It's so good to see you Cas.” He pulled the angel into a hug. “I thought you were in the empty. How are you here?” 

“Jack,” Cas smiled “He brought me back” Cas looked back toward the bedroom.”Dean and I have been...catching up.” 

Sam smiled and let out a short laugh “Yeah I can see that.” 

“I love him Sam” 

“I know you do. I never wanted to push him but I knew.” Sam let out a breathy laugh and ran his hands through his hair. “Wow I cant believe Dean finally figured it out. I can't believe this is really happening. What are you going to do now?” 

“Whatever makes Dean happy.” Cas said, so matter of factly that Sam shook his head in pure amazement and laughed again.

---

It was a small outdoor ceremony, but Sam and Eileen couldn't have been happier. Dean beamed with pride standing next to Sam, his tux pressed and black shoes shined. They held the reception in Jody's backyard, string lights and cheap alcohol. It was perfect.

Cas walked into the kitchen, slightly intoxicated and saw Claire sitting on the counter rubbing her feet “I hate heels.” 

“They do look very uncomfortable,” Cas replied. “These suits are restricting as well. My neck is very itchy.” 

Claire beckoned Cas over and loosened his bowtie. “You don't really need it all the way on anymore. Ceremony is over.” She smiled, “Your boyfriend took his off hours ago I bet.” 

Cas never will be used to hearing Dean referred to in that way. “Where is he?” 

“I think he’s out front on the porch.” She said, jumping off the counter barefoot and walking back out into the yard to find Kaia for a dance. She popped her head back inside “Oh hey, tell him I can work that Sunday shift he asked about okay?” Cas nodded and Claire spun around and headed to the dance floor. 

Cas walked out onto the porch to find Dean. The night air was cool and crickets chirped loudly in the fields. As Claire had suspected, Dean’s tie was long gone. His dress shirt was unbuttoned enough to reveal the t-shirt underneath, and to see the necklace filled with Castiel’s grace glowing on his chest. He took another drink from his beer and looked up. “Heya Cas.”

“Hello Dean.” He paused and then remembered “Claire said she can work the Sunday shift.” 

“Ah, good. That kid is killing me. That's what I get for owning a bar, I guess. I’m a freakin boss now.” He laughed to himself, “It still feels weird to say it. Like I'm gonna mess it up.” 

“You’ve earned it, and you certainly are not messing it up.” Cas sat down next to him and smiled as Dean wrapped his arm around him, “How are you Dean?” 

“Eh, I'm fine.” Dean looked down, picking at the label of his beer. “Sammy seems happy, huh?”

“Yes, he does.” Cas reached out and pulled Dean’s hand away from his nervous movement, entwining their fingers together. “He's going to be fine.” 

“I know.” Dean says, squeezing Cas’s hand. “I just hate that he doesn't need me anymore.” 

“That's not true, he’ll always need you.” Cas reassured him. Dean leaned over and kissed Cas, gazing at him for a moment before saying “I love you, you know that right?” 

“I know,” Cas replied, “I love you too.” It didn't matter that they had been together for over a year, 6 months since Cas had made the choice to be human, it still made Cas shiver to hear Dean tell him he loved him.  

“You sure you don’t regret giving me this?” He holds up the glowing grace pendant. Cas shakes his head “No, not once.” and Dean pulls him in for another kiss. 

Jack watches from afar, a smile on his face. 

The sounds of the party last long into the night. 

[albino-whumpee]

An old thing 4

First

Continued from here

Possibly the angstiest part of this. Not much whump really.

I´m gonna go ahead and tag @the-host-and-colton for this one. It´s not the BBU but I suppose the Boxies with babies dynamic is there. “Baby doesn´t understand the situation but the parents do” kinda thing. Excuse the ping!

CW// Dehumanization, slavery, human trafficking, forced breeding, mentions of past dub con and non con, blood, implied and mention of past whump of minors, hazing, noncon child separation, creepy and explosive whumpers, physical and emotional abuse.

Everything will be tagged and if there´s tags to be added, tell me please.

After five years, Kit was a rowdy little boy. Running around with a smile on his face at all times. You wouldn’t think he was a slave if it wasnt for the thin black collar on his neck.

In how obedient he turned with his masters. Even though he didn’t understand the concept yet.

“Master? Why are Roahn and Shy here?” Kit asked Danae once. Layo and Danae weren’t mom and dad. They were master. But for his little mind it was just the same thing.

“To serve you and us, Kit. You will understand it better when you grow up”

“Alright” Kit said watching Roahn taking care of the garden with her big bump “Master? Will I be able to play with Roahn’s baby?” Kit asked again.

“No more questions Kit” She said annoyed. The kid was quiet but he still looked at Roahn with curiosity.

-

“Roahn?” Kit asked the woman being hugged by Dimitri in their floor mat. She woke up as it was the middle of the night, and when she saw him, he shook Dimitri awake. They sat in the other side of the cell.

“Hey there Kit” Dimitri smiled at the toddler.

“Hi Shy” Kit said.

“What is it Kit? Are you hurt?” Roahn said stretching her arm for the kid to hold her hand through the bars. The kid took it.

“I am cold upstairs. So I thought you were very cold here too. Its always chilly down here” the kid grabbed the blanket he had carried all the way down and gave it to Dimitri. “I dont want the baby to be cold”.

They looked at each other with a pained and proud expression.

“Do you…wanna see how she moves?” Roahn asked the toddler who instantly put a smile on his face.

Roahn went close to the cell and told the kid to get closer. Kit did. She grabbed his tiny hand and put it on her abdomen. Curiously she moved. As if the little one inside her knew.

“She’s rowdy!” Kit said. The word coming from how Layo would call him sometimes. Kit was an smart boy.

“Yes she is!” Roahn laughed along.

“I cant wait to play with her!” Dimitri and Roahn went stiff “I mean, if I can…” Kit cleared up sensing their discomfort.

Roahn took his hand into hers and gave it a little kiss.

“Of course you can” she said looking at her son in the same hazel eyes she had. His worries escaped his face to be turned into smiling.

“What would you call her, Kit?” Dimitri asked him.

Kit reflexed for a bit, looking at the ceiling.

“Bunnie!” He said “oh! Or Sara! Or Emi!”

“Where did you take those names from?” Dimitri giggled. They were good names.

“Master is writing a new book. I am a character there too!” He said proudly.

“Oh? You are?” Dimitri said, resting his chin in one hand. Roahn thought it had been a long time since she saw him smile like that. Not since Olivia.

“Yes! I am a dog!” Dimitri stopped right there with a shocked face. He cracked a humorless laugh. He really hated Layo for doing that sick joke.

“Do you like dogs Kit?” He asked anyways.

“Yes!! Sadly master doesn’t like them…” Kit pouted.

“Hey Kit, what if I told you there’s a place where you could have a lot of dogs?” Dimitri asked him Roahn looking at him.

“Eh?! Really? Where’s that?” Kit asked getting closer.

“I can take us there but I need you to tell me something. I only will ask you to see one thing everyday ok?” He said getting closer to him. The camera and the microphone were not a problem. They had been tricked for years.

“Everyday?”

“Yes”

“What?”

“If you ever see big men with black suits tell me what day they come in alright? Or if master says something about an auction tell me. And then we will go to that place, Alright?” Dimitri said. Roahn wasn’t sure if the kid had gotten all, but Kit was smarter than they could see.

He already knew how to read.

“An auction? Like last time?”

Dimitri couldn’t help himself from looking down for a bit.

“Yes, Kit. Like last time. Would you do that for us?” She asked him calmly.

“Ok. I will tell you” Kit said. “Im going to sleep. Goodnight” Kit said going away.

“Wait!” Dimitri yelled, the kid turned back.

“Thanks for the blanket” Roahn said covering her and Shy.

“We love you Kit” Dimitri said. The kid didnt know how to take that and just blushed before running off.

Dimitri and her laid down again. After a moment, the woman’s arms squeezed him lightly.

“Are you sure?” Roahn asked him.

“We cant let this slip off again, Roahn” he said.

“You have changed” she told her “I remember you telling me you didnt have bad thoughts about your owners”

Dimitri embraced her stronger dipping his face into her neck.

“Ivan was all I had. And he was taken from me. He was killed by a bunch of brainless fuckers. I told myself I wouldn’t fixate on his dead. And tried to forget. But when that happened…” Roahn reached for his hand and squeezed “I knew I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I cant let this freaks fuck with us anymore. We have to go before the auction. Much more longer before that”

“Three months” Roahn said “after she’s born, three months and we will go”

“In that time I’ll have it all ready” Dimitri kissed her shoulder “I wont fail this time” he said as she smiled.

His face had a big scar that went all the way from his cheekbone to his neck.

Layo had tried to cut his carotid when they tried to escape the first time. And he almost succeeded.

-

The baby was born a week later. Kit was amazed by the baby’s arrival. Apparently her name was Jen. Although Kit thought how Bunnie would have had suit her better he went on. For him Dimitri was the only way of knowing how she was doing. Kit was a curious child so he would ask him lots of questions. Dimitri had received some education but many of his questions beat him. At those times he would pat him and tell him the library had a book about that day’s question they could read together.

Sometimes, when they knew there was no one in the house but them, he let Kit sit on his leg.

By now Dimitri and Roahn had to wear clothes at all times except when their genitals were required. They weren’t that used to be so covered but definitely it was warmer. And less humiliating. But the mounting…those were nights were those rules didn’t matter.

“How is Jen and Roahn?” Kit asked him.

“They’re ok. Jen is a very healthy baby. You would love her” Dimitri said.

“I would have loved if she was named Bunnie though…” the kid pouted. Dimitri laughed.

“You know my name isn’t Shy?” He said the kid opening his eyes amused.

“Then what’s your name?”

“Dimitri” He said with a bitter sweet smile. It was the name his brother had gave him. He wanted to tell him to call him dad, but right now that was too risky.

“What a pretty name! Why are you called Shy by Master then?” Kit asked. Dimitri pursed his lips together and touched his scar.

“Its a nickname”

“Nick…?”

“A name only good friends call each other”

“But you don’t like Master at all…”

“Well, some nicknames are for people you don’t like” he giggled wryly.

“Hey, Sh—Dimitri, what does “slave” mean?” The kid asked him, getting his full attention.

“Master called me that the other day when I dropped a bit of juice. I dont know if its a good nickname…” Dimitri held him strong.

“You dont need to know that Kit” he said to him “You’re a good boy ok?”

Kit thought about the many times he had been called bad things and found comforting he said that. So he hugged back.

They stayed there like that for a while.

—

At night, report.

“They havent mentioned it yet then Kit?” Dimitri asked him from the other side of the cell. Kit shook his head, his curly black hair flopping.

“Thats perfect. And what is master doing on thursday?”

“They have their cocktail party and go early” kit said. Dimitri was making mental notes.

“When do they go on their trip?” Dimitri asked him looking up.

“On sunday”

Dimitri has made his plan. Five days were a bit short but the three months had passed and he had it all ready. The few money he could slip from change. A few clothes. Tools. Food. They were ready to go.

“Kit, in Sunday I need you to do something fun. Would you grab your binoculars and tell me when they go and bring me the keys in Master’s office?”

Kit physically did a step back.

“What is it?”

“Im…not allowed there…I cant…”

“It’s ok Kit. Dont worry. Can you play explorer and tell me when they go then?” The kid shook his head vigorously. “You’re such a good kid, Kit” he revolved his hair. And gave him a candy hidden in the downside of the mat.

“Ah! Thank you Dimitri! I love you!” Kit said while hugging him through the bars. Dimitri had to be really strong to hold the tears in.

“I love you too Kit” he said watching him go off.

He stared at the ceiling unable to sleep.

How much he wished Cal and Olivia were there too. But the pain of losing them wouldn’t happen ever again.

Even if he died at it. They would go and get freedom.

[britnxyspears]

I've had so many nightmares lately it's ridiculous. Some of them aren't even post traumatic stress nightmares, they're just... really terrible. It literally feels like in being tortured all over again ala the 'hurt people you care about to hurt you' method. All over again. Last night I had a nightmare that I was blamed for killing so many of my loved ones and even other headmate's loved ones. And then punished! It was like 5 nightmares in one! I tried killing myself in prison but they just drugged me :/ it was a PTSD dream... just not about my trauma. I woke up when my brother's dogs somehow came into my cell and tried to get me to follow them, but when I got out it was all just too cold and my feet started bleeding in the snow and I coukdnt hide anywhere. I didnt kill anybody in my dream but I still felt so guilty when i woke up that i just tried not to think about it and didnt go back to sleep until i took a shower a few hours later. I guess i slept all day, and then i had a dream about trying to run away to go draw in a field of flowers, it was like my hometown but different places were just spliced in.

It's not because of any medications because I stopped taking all my medications (my thyroid medications just need to be taken way too specifically for my lifestyle and my schedule) so I dont even know what's causing all of this. All my recent dreams are me being blamed for something extremely unforgivable and I didn't actually do it. I try not to look into my dreams too much but I'm feeling totally ridiculous about everything now. I forgot about it but then I remembered after the second time I slept. Now I cant stop thinking about it... why do these dreams have such a lasting effect on me? :(