Batboys x Thor!Reader
I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TO. I just rewatched Ragnarok and I have seen a few posts speaking about Thor!Reader x the Batboys and I just had to write this. Please can people start making more headcanons and stories about this! Anyways, this is gender neutral and race neutral. I have also included some Marcel characters as well so hehehee enjoy!
Dick Grayson
First off, Dick loves your humour and how you deal with tricky situations
Like he admires how you can make lighthearted jokes as a giant dragon is trying to eat you
Which brings us to how you met
You piss off a lot of people, and this time you had happened to piss off someone with a dragon that’s trained to hunt down people
You knew you had to get off the beasts radar, so you went to the one place everyone would least expect you to be: Gotham City
Unfortunately the dragon wasn’t as dumb as you thought and followed you there, which ended with a lot of damage to Gotham’s streets, an angry dragon trying to bite your head off and an even angrier Batman
Nightwing joined the fight and just as he thought he was going to die when the dragon went for him, your hammer went straight through the beast and saved him
”Dragons have never really liked me that much”
”What?”
”Which is weird since they’re meant to be like puppies. I’m good with puppies.”
”They’re meant to be like WHAT?!”
He instantly fell in love with you. He enjoys how fearless and determined you are, even if you get beat up by a large creature occasionally.
You care about those you love and would do anything for them, something both of you share.
He understands your complicated relationship with your adopted sibling the best out of everyone you know, since it’s kinda similar to the one he used to have with Jason.
He knows your strong asf, but it never stops him from worrying about you.
He would do absolutely anything and everything for you.
He’ll never admit it but whenever you go into space and you take him with you, he gets really nauseous. Space makes him feel sick.
A lot of your enemies like to use him against you, and visa versa. It usually ends with the criminal being in critical condition in hospital after you beat the shit out of them. (Yes you beat up your own kidnappers)
Jason Todd
You were in a library cursing at the book in your hand as Jason walked past you.
He found it amusing how you were trying to be quiet as the librarian had shushed you a couple of times already, but what really prompted hi, to approach you was the fact that the book you were cursing at was a Greek mythology one.
He’s never seen anyone that worked up over a book about the Gods before.
The answer he received from you was one he was not expecting
”This goddamn book has so many inaccuracies! Thor is not the God/Goddess of Lighting, it’s Thunder you fucking idiots! They always get me confused with Zeus…”
”…What?”
When you saw his confusion, you held your hand out to greet him.
“Thor, child of Odin. And you are?”
”Uh, Jason…son of Bruce?”
He met you as Red Hood a few weeks later when Bizarro had a run in with a large green good friend of yours
“Ah! Jason! Son of Bruce.”
”I have no idea who that is.” He lied, but you could see straight through him.
You were actually able to recognize him due to some of his left arm getting exposed from having his suit torn somehow during the fight. He had a scar there that you had noticed during your first meeting. It was shaped similarly to a lightning bolt, which caught your interest.
You grew close and you both became very protective of the other
You always defend him against his family members, especially Bruce (who won’t admit it but sometimes he finds you scary)
You get along with the Outlaws very well too. You sometimes even join them on missions.
You love it when he teaches you something about plays, poetry and novels. You think it’s really cute that such a dangerous man can be so cute and romantic.
He’s definitely helped you save the world a couple of times.
Tim Drake
He met you during his Robin days
You were a friend of Kon’s, and he called in a favour when his team was failing miserably on a mission.
They were being attacked by some angry aliens who happened to be using some of their tech to mind control parts of the planet
Bart had gotten one of his legs broken pretty badly so he was out for a while, Cassie was knocked out, and Tim and Kon were barley winning their fights.
Suddenly some thunder sounded in the sky and everyone was blinded by a bright light (your thunder bolts hehehe) and the most beautiful person Tim has ever seen appeared out of nowhere from the sky and beat the function out of the remaining enemy
He’s a bat, and is very much like Bruce when it comes to being suspicious of people so he wasn’t so friendly to you in the beginning
Your first impression of Tim was that he gave zero fucks about anything. He’s pretty, but definitely doesn’t care about shit (or acts like he doesn’t)
You guys saw each other more when you helped the Titans, Justice League and even Batman out with a few missions
And also whenever Kon would invite you both out to the same places to hang out. You guys got very close over the years.
Then you guys began hanging out by yourselves in and out of uniform
You saw people while you were each other’s close friends, but you just always knew that you loved each other.
Then he became Red Robin and fell into a dark hole after Bruce’s ‘death’ and became very standoffish with you
You spent more time in space, where you made more enemies with dragons and men made of fire who like putting you in cages (Ragnarok reference hehe) and your family issues got a lot worse too
All the times you spent away from Tim (a few weeks) made you both realise that you’re in love with each other. So you returned home through Bifrost, and turned up at his nest one night when it was raining and confessed your love for him. (You were still covered in blood as you literally just came back from a fight)
You guys have always been inseparable together, but in a romantic relationship? UNSTOPPABLE.
587 notes
·
View notes
the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
28K notes
·
View notes
love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
5K notes
·
View notes