#IM SO EXCITED FOR IT TO RELEASE ON DVD SO I CAN WATCH IT EVERY DAY

[candyredterezii]

Go see M3GAN.

[pwblogarchive]

May 2005

May 1, 2005

Like woah. I totally just got a copy of the story of ferdinand on dvd, I'm gonna burn it and try to put it online so you're pretty little eyes can see all about "from under the cork tree". Its so amazing.

Turn me on like a switch and off like a faucet. We had fun at bamboozled but we were definitely pissed off about all of the kids that weren't allowed in while we were playing. That's all on the fire marshall and staff their. We definitely told them things had to be different next year if we were gonna play.

Me and william from academy are probably gonna do this project next year, watch out for it.

Lately on the internet all I have been reading is how we're either gonna be the next big thing and save this kind of music or how we ruined it and our record is terrible. I personally think we fall somewhere in between. Its a lot of pressure either way and all we hope is that you check out the record for yourself and decide on your own.

We got a big tour were planning for the fall.

Staylovely

May 3, 2005

come on, get FUCT!

no we're not being mean or saying get laid... go out and grab our new record "from under the cork tree", it's out rigggght now.

what about when cartman has the tea party with: artemis clyde frog, polly prissy pants, and peter panda. pretty hilarious.

new jersey gave me some awesome closet secrets but it's new york that i'm just this in love with.

news about some stuff in the next day or so.

May 3, 2005

i love the way you type...

didn't you think it would be about time where it got to the point where people hated us just for the sake of it? i have so much to say about it but i am keeping it in. it's just not worth addressing every internet claim or review. no offense to your standards but i don't think you got the point of what we were doing. THE LYRICS and SONGS are a commentary on YOU. you are what is ruining music and what we love... we aren't writing summer songs and we aren't writing progressive music- we're calling you out- so when we're reading your IMs, we're laughing cause you didn't even get it. everything you read about us isn't true. i'm not saying everyone should love our record or us, that would be ridiculous. music is a very subjective thing. i understand that but your condescending bullshit and unnecessary harshness doesn't go unnoticed. we remember you and the way you can't ever say anything to our faces. what are you in it for? the music or the misery? thanks to the people who have stuck by us through thick and thin... you are our heart.

what would they say if they could see us now?

keep l i / o ving

- petey

May 4, 2005

thank you nyc for coming out to our first record release. we have our second in chicago. we are so excited. we have many things we are planning to make your pretty head spin.

what about jay-z and beyonce rocking out to fob? totally one of the few times i have ever felt super starstruck at one of our shows. crazy shit like that only happens in new york…

i lost my cellphone yesterday- send the waaaaahmbulance as soon as possible.

Xxoo

05/04/05 Q&A

question

does patrick want to only sing? because my husband is an amazing guitarist……..

answer

my husband (patrick) is an amazing guitarist too.

05/05/05

question

pete. being in love with your best friend: in or out in 2005?

answer

same sex, definitely in. opposite sex was like so 90’s.

May 11, 2005

a day in the life of the new york trip:

woken up today at 9 am by patrick and our publicist to do an interview for rollingstone. my throat is fucking wrecked. couldn't really talk in the interview.

joe and hurley go to get haircuts at some fancypants spot. patrick and i on the other had are content with looking like we haven't showered in a month.

pick up my sister and go over to NBC studios.

soundcheck and realize that no back ups will be going on tonight. i can barely sing regularly and mostly suck but can't even really talk.

soundcheck goes pretty badly. go back and hope that it goes alright.

run into matt dillon backstage. definitely comment on the movie "over thedge", dunno if he appreciated it. he said "punkrock huh? you sound like the pistols" i had to pee so i said "yeah kind of" and went to the bathroom.

change and our publicist tapes the hole in the crotch of my pants and says i will ruin the entire show if they rip. but i think a blur on conan would be pretty funny.

i gotta say this is one of the only times i have been nervous about performing. mostly because it was so unnatural. its not like a show at all, so that felt awkward. the rest went alright. i'm glad you guys make us feel so comfortable and all, its the only thing that makes it worth keeping on doing this.

home soon.

sorry for the lack of updates. got a writers block attatched to a chain around my neck.

truelove

05/11/05

question

Why did patrick suck balls on FUSE?

answer

that kid is my bestfriend, i don’t care if you’re a girl i’d still punch you in the mouth if you said that to my face. have a nice day.

05/14/05

question

hey peter!! if u or william ever need help getting those hott girls pants or tight shirts off im here.

answer

thanks, but i handle his shirts and he handles my pants. then we switch.

question

Pete, it seems as though you always go for the rude/aggressive/not-so-nice girls. Or that is how it seems to me. Forgive me if I am wrong. Why is that? Why dont you go for a girl that is nice and sweet, but can be aggressive when she needs to be?

answer

haha. woah. it seems like you’ve been looking through the keyhole in at my life. i go for girls that my heart/hips like.

question

just how much of your songs is based in fact and how much in fiction? are they all about things that actually happened?

answer

we don’t write fiction.

question

Hey Pete, Well I gotta be honest, i just recently became a Fall Out Boy fan, but better late than never i guess. Anywho, i live in wilmette like 3 houses down from you and our dads play golf together every sunday. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid growing up in this town?

answer

i liked fireworks and skateboarding.

question

lets just be honest here — how completely jealous are you that i just came home from seeing mars black, the faint, and BRIGHT EYES at the riviera???? gasp!! it was beyond fabulous!

answer

nope. im going tonight.

question

where, and who to did the guys lose their virginty?

answer

hahahahahahahaha. jesus.

question

one of my guy friends (which is ugly and fat) asked me out but i told him i was going out with one of my other guy friends, so i had to ask my guy friend to fake going out with me even though we arent. now my fat ugly guy friend hates me and all my friends that like my fake boyfriend hate me too. was this as wrong as i think it is?

answer

yes. honestly, the best bet is always honesty on this type of stuff. everyone is always one step away from being ugly and fat themselves so think about that before you completely crush someone else.

question

the song with no sexual lyric: nobody puts baby in the corner.

answer

yes. honestly, the best bet is always honesty on this type of stuff. everyone is always one step away from being ugly and fat themselves so think about that before you completely crush someone else.

question

the song with no sexual lyric: nobody puts baby in the corner.

answer

judges? “nothing comes as easy as you”- “can i lay in your bed all day”

question

i was watching the “saturday” video and i noticed that all of you were wearing red armbands. i was wondering of there was any significane to it?

answer

viva le revolucion. message two. more to follow.

question

Best piece of literature youve ever read? and… tell patrick he fucking rocks. he doesnt get enough positive attention on here for getting the kickass guy he is.

answer

the best piece of literature i ever read was this torn up zine about 3 years ago- its called “go on, get left at an altar”- absolutely amazing. trust me patrick gets alot of positive attention. we make a trophy for him every night at a show and then we sing “you are the champion of the world” when he walks onto the bus.

question

Push-up bras: in or out in 2005?

answer

out. work with what you got.

question

I think I found the innuendo free song. “Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year”, am I right?

answer

patrick says “or are we just going down” is technically sexual.

question

im confused. who has the bad twin pancho or bedussey? will pancho make a creepy yet awe inspiring cameo in the sequel?

answer

pancho is dead or gone, we’re not sure. he will not be in Bad Twin

05/15/05

question

Is the song without a sexual reference Ive Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth?

answer

“kisses on the necks of just friends” kinda sexy dont you think. like if my friend was say william beckett that would be really sexy.

question

my brother just ate all my funyons.. do i pound on him or let it slide?

answer

funyons are gross. he did you a favor, high five him.

question

Get busy living or get busy dying - Is the innuendo free song. But then theres - Ive got a dark alley and a bad idea.. but the just friends part can be seen as an innuendo, so I go with my first answer. Is it right or am i wrong twice?

answer

“tell me you like boys like me better in the dark lying on top of you” “im falling apart to songs about HIPS and hearts”

question

im also in a band from the suburbs of chicago….whats the secret to your success?

answer

never really considered us successful. we’re always a step from falling apart. i guess success is just a matter of perspective. get in the van, its your best bet.

question

its my birthday today and to be honest i miss the feeling of being excited about birthdays like when i was younger. my question is: whats the thing you miss most about being a “kid”.

answer

being carefree. not knowing what regret was.

question

do you think that your rising fame will result in you guys no longer playing intimate shows (Metro, HOB, etc) and not hanging out with us before/after shows or at other local shows like the KOC here at home in Chicago? PS: you guys should try to play at the KOC again (like The Academy Is… did in March) sometime - that show would be insane.

answer

its harder to play smaller shows now because they aren’t safe and because alot of people don’t get in- keep a look out though. we’ll be playing shows around chicago in small venues all next year under secret names.

question

Hey Peterpants. How come every time my bestest friend Anna puts you on our team in Oregon Trail, you die? Last time you drowned while we were trying to ford the river. It makes us very very sad. We cried like, ten times. Do you any suggestions for how we can keep you alive?

answer

we had to do like a simulated version of oregon trail called wagons west when i was in fourth grade with mr. kemp- and everyone in the class got married and had a family except me and andrew corcoran had to be cousins and he kept trying to give me hugs. we died in the winter anyway, i can’t say anything about it though. andrew kind of made me want to be dead.

question

so are you just trying to make us go crazy by saying theres a song with no sexual innuendo? cause you know we are all trying to figure out which one it is, but you know that there really isnt one.

answer

i think there are two

question

Is the song without a sexual reference Ive Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth?

answer

that rules. i agree.

May 16, 2005

you wake up but not really. in the bedroom you grew up in. it's the only place on this entire planet that is yours- the only place on the planet that understands you. it understands the way your nerves flare every time you think about talking to anyone- scared into shyness at the thought of opening your mouth but the way you are the best hypocrite around when you're in front of a microphone. it knows what turns that switch on and off and back on again. it understands the way when you don't have a smile on your face everyone only spits: "whats wrong"s and "you look tired"s. so the way you keep it on your face just wide enough to avoid questions. it understands how neurotic you have become, the way you treat your flaws like old friends. the way you look in the mirror and think of yourself as "mr. misery"....

alot has been going on and not going on all at once. i went to the bright eyes show the other night expecting a near religious experience- possibly some connection. but i came away empty handed. i must say i winced when i realized that there wasn't an acoustic guitar in sight- though i was secretly hoping he'd play something off of "im wide awake", he stuck to his guns and played "digital ash" start to close. i then bought chuck's new book "haunted" and had a similiar experience- it felt watered down, kind of like reading stephen king rehashed over and over again. it scared me for a second, that maybe our new record feels like this to someone. more than anything i don't want to let you down. more than anything i hope that we are remembered for our sincerity, or not remembered at all.... there are big things in the air but i can't spill about them until i know for sure.

its funny the way i sit outside my house and there are seagulls overhead, but this far from the coast. it doesn't seem right. she said she would watch my troubles and worry so i wouldn't have to pack them and take them everywhere with me. and there's not a day that i don't think about dropping out and moving to the middle of nowhere cause sometimes it's just not fun anymore. and only YOU make it at all worth it. all clubs and contests aside i lie awake nervous as hell waiting for the dream to end. and sometimes i spill all the pills out on the tiled floor and sit there and think about the sweat dripping the makeup off of your faces and thats all there is. always. i know this probably isn't making sense but this is how i spend most of my days, far from the person i am supposed to be. in between all of the hooks and the screams- the right clothes and our eyes darkened just to the right shade- there is a boy who just doesn't fit in. but if it weren't for this place we have made, i don't know where i would be. i just wanted you to know you have our hearts.

xxoo

May 17, 2005

i recieved this email a couple of days ago and have been being asked everyday since:

“There are flyers all over…and posted on MySpace sites…promoting a benefit show at Bethel Church in Palatine, hosted by Stereo Therapy Records. ( www.stereotherapyrecords.com)

Listed as playing…

American Homecoming

Breaking Back

Dear Me, Dear You

Just Left

Marty McFly

Second Star

Lost On 53

&

Mystery Guest

Then at the bottom are pictures of all the bands…including Fall Out Boy.

Then a kid in one of those bands asked me if you could sell out the place.

It holds 400.

Then another kid in one of the bands playing is telling people that you guys confirmed several days ago.

So are you playing it?

If not, they have definitely been using your image to promote the show on flyers and on their website, hinting that you will be playing.

April 25, 2005

"Hey stellas and stellers, I hope your week has been treating you well. I miss you all. The May 28th show at the Bethel Lutheran Church in Palatine has been confirmed. Go to the events for more information. We will have a special guest closing the show, and trust me, you will not want to miss it.”“

we are NOT playing this show, we will be out of town. we will not begin playing secret shows until after the fall next year and they will all be benefit shows…. we are all for supporting the local scene but at the same time do not want you to be suprised when we do not show up. please support local bands because they deserve it.

May 23, 2005

i just saw the most amazing sunset. it came in second to my eyes only behind the new starwars. there is simply nothing better than jedis. working in the lab.

had halloween in florida this year. so decided i'm gonna do my birthday there. come by and give me a highfive at the hardrock show.

May 24, 2005

hey. things havebeen kind of hectic lately.

i just wanted to let you guys know my opinion on whats going on with FOB and all.

"we're the kids you used to love, then we grew old"

first of all, with us being on TRL and all. i have loved bands growing up- there are so many bands that i kept in my back pocket and began hating them when they grew up and got bigger. at first i told everyone i knew "i cant believe you havent heard of savestheday/lifetime/quicksand" then when i started seeing kids wearing the shirts and other kids at my school (that i didnt think were as cool as me) started talking about them- they stopped being cool to me, they stopped being my secret. being a part of this band has changed everything for me. when i was younger and i saw axl rose walk off the bus in the "welcome to the jungle video" i was like holy fuck- i want to be him. you have to believe me when i tell you this band was never supposed to get where it has- those who were there in the beginning know that- we were terrible, it was just something fun for us to do (if you dont believe me go try and find our demo and listen to it). but before we are in a band- WE ARE FANS OF MUSIC. most of the music out there on trl or the radio is complete shit to me- thats why when bands like: blink, new found, thursday, or taking back sunday get played or are on TRL- i loved it. id rather see a tbs or nfg video than a little jon or mariah carrey one any day of the week, and hopefully a couple of you feel that way about "sugar we're going down". they represent sincere music to me. it was like they were the flag that represented our scene and what we were doing- and everything we believed in. it made me smile to see- i have met and or am friends with all of those bands and they are doing it for the right reasons.

that being said, we want to be out there at the forefront of it- representing our scene, representing the people who have always believed in us. i understand that growing pains suck and sometimes it's hard to deal with. but we will always be the same boring kids from the suburbs of chicago. we have NEVER played their game. we do what we want. when they tried to get us to shoot a video with "a swimming pool party, with hot girls and punk oriented kids dancing" we said FUCK NO, that was not fob. When they asked us to do a mall tour we said FUCK NO that is not fob. We've been asked out by countless bands that we don't respect (for how they treat their fans or how they portray themselves) and we've turned it down, even if it would have made us much bigger. We've been offered sponsorships by companies that we do not agree with and we've turned them down even though they offered us alot of money. this is what we believe in. we (you and us) own these songs and we wont let them be cheapened by shit like that. the only reason MTV is interested in playing a video as weird as antler boy is because you guys bought the hell out of the record the first week. that is all real. i sometimes pinch myself, cause it's so unbelievable. bands always say "we're not gonna change"- but the proof is in the pudding, come and find me on warped tour- we're ready to prove the wrong.

no matter what happens fob has always been blood,sweat,gas,tears,fights and love. it is our rushmore. it is what we want to be remembered for. thank you so much for what you give us. if it means half that much for you help us out and vote on trl (on the news page). if it doesn't at least maybe this will explain our thinking. who would have ever thought you would be able to see an FOB video on tv?

as ive gotten older ive realized that noone is born cool- everyone has some deep dark secret- a band that got them into it all- for me those bands are like defleppard and metallica- for others i am sure they are bands that people would call cheesy or whatever- but hopefully these bands open the door for you to check out other bands that you might not have heard of otherwise. so when i go on our messageboard and see someone asking a question and see an og fob fan say "why dont you fucking know that" or "check the fucking thread below" or "shut up" or whatever it makes me feel like shit. imagine if we treated newbie bands like that, some of you never would have heard of the academy is or gym class heroes (even though both of these bands are so great they would have gotten there eventually)... so please try and be understanding- we love our oldest fans, you mean so much- and we'll always have cool stuff like the secret order of fob and secret shows, so don't worry.

anyway. i'm rambling and this probably doesnt make much sense. but ive been there before and just kinda wanted to explain some of my/our thoughts.

last night i saw my world explode.

May 26, 2005

Its not me, its you

The (after)life(r) of the party

Blow out the candles

And try to forget another year of favors (and how long its gonna take to repay them)

And sleeping in between cities

Im up to the hips with dreams

We’re green and gold racing towards 6 am

Who was me last night?

“slow down pretty boy”

but youre just not keeping up

and I never told you the way I love how you sleep in your make up

its not romance but itll have to do

would it be forward of me to say im the best youll (n)ever have

and dollface dreams are just something that get in the way of giving in

broken down not broken out

im only good for a couple of hours on your couch,

hand down the front of your pants or maybe for a story or two

im a stitch away from making it 

and a scar away from falling apart

full moon pills got me out on the streets at night

watch me transform in the moonlight

I watch you work the room

Knowing that its their smiles and clinking drinks at cocktail hour

But its always me at this time of night

Hips pressed close to mine – true blue

The way they talk about you aint even close

Envelopes postmarked to nowhere

Vacant baby

Im checking out

failure never looked so pretty

Line em up, flashes across the room in red

Kiss me electric

Leave my best days in memories

And my bestlines closed tight in books

Keep the lights off so I cant see your tears

She said “we should move somewhere deep in the middle of july”

And I replied “dream me up something better than me and you”

- petey

05/26/05 Q&A

question

Someone on a fall out boy group on Myspace is saying patrick has a myspace profile.But everyone is saying its fake becuse you dont even have one and you would be the first one to have one.So is it true that Patrick has one or is the profile just dead fake.

answer

patrick does not have a myspace profile. he thinks the internet is the name of a taking back sunday song.

05/29/05

question

patrick has amazing lips…can i kiss them?

answer

they look amazing but they are poisonous, how did you think i got too sick to make it to europe?

question

Do you ever wish that you were as drop dead sexy as Patrick is!?

answer

no he is so sexy that i bet it burns him alittle bit on the inside. that scares me.

[ofbeastsandwizards]

THIS IS MY MESS [prt one] - avengers x reader

next chapter ->

a/n: here it is! the moment you’ve all been waiting for!! the first chapter of my timm rewrite!! I made sure to tag everyone I could find who asked to be tagged!! im so excited to finally re-release this jsjsjsjd anyways i didnt proof read this so ignore any mistakes.

pairing: avengers x teen! reader platonic

word count: 2550

warnings: use of ‘she/her’ pronouns on reader, a few curse words here and there, mention of parent death, near-death experience, heights

series summary: A 16 year old from Harlem finds herself ensnared in a tangle of problems when she literally falls into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the object of her absolute affection.

chapter summary: [Y/n] [L/n] usually likes to mind her own business. Especially after retrieving her favorite movies. But today, she took a different path, that may have changed her entire universe.

———

OUR UNIVERSE - PRESENT DAY NYC

[Y/n] [L/n] was a frequent visitor of Mel’s Comics, a ragtag little comic book shop in the heart of Harlem, New York.

Just a skip and a hop from her Grandmother’s apartment, it was one of the only places [Y/n] felt at home, it was a place she could feel herself, a place where expectation melted away like ice cream on warm summer’s day. It was her sanctuary.

And so, it was no surprise that Mel’s was also her supplier of all her Marvel needs. They kept their racks fully stocked, and it was the only comic book store she could find that housed the full collection of rentable Marvel Cinematic Universe content.

Of course, the MCU movies rarely lined the shelves with how often [Y/n] made it her mission to rent them to the very last second. Today was no different.

A mish-mash of movie phases were squished in her arms as she approached the checkout counter. The man running the counter, Jeremy, a lanky man in his thirties, with bleach-blonde hair and wire-rimmed spectacles, was a close friend of the young teenager.

Although they often only talked when [Y/n] spent her time occupying the peeling walls of Mel’s Comics, they got along splendidly.

Jeremy tilted his glasses away from his nose, and offered the young girl a kind smile. “Got another haul today, [N/n]?”

[Y/n] gave him a wide grin, nodding her head as she lugged the DVD’s onto the countertop.

Jeremy let out a dry laugh. “Geez, [Y/n], how many times are you going to watch these things? You know you can buy them, right?”

[Y/n] waved her hand dismissively. “Psh. Why take away the magic of coming here to rent them every week?”

Jeremy hummed, and continued to ring up the movies, and tapped away at his computer. [Y/n]’s name was always the first to pull up in the rental system, as she was oftentimes the only one to consistently rent the movies.

“Alrighty. With the family and friends discount, that’ll be-“

“Ten fifty.” [Y/n] finished, pulling out a wad of cash from her front jean pocket. Jeremy pulled the green paper out of her hands and counted it out, removing a few dollars from the cash register and handing it to [Y/n].

“I got my backpack today, so I think I can pass on the bag.” [Y/n] informed, and Jeremy nodded, pushing the stack of movies towards her. She pulled the backpack off her back, and shuffled the plastic containers into the large pocket of her bag, and zipped it closed. “Thanks, Jer!”

“Sure thing. And be careful out there, kid. It’s a bit icy today.”

[Y/n] laughed. “When am I not careful?” She pushed open the glass door, a small bell chiming as she exited the tiny shop. She stood outside for a moment, sucking in a deep breath of autumn air.

Ah, that fresh, tangy, New York air.

[Y/n]’s marvel obsession stretched far beyond her frequent stops at Mel’s, or reading the latest comic addition. Her obsession fueled her entire childhood, and the characters of the marvel universe acted as compensation for the many struggles she had met early on in life.

At only age 10, her father passed away from a severe case of pneumonia. He was a talented criminal investigator, who caught the sickness unexpectedly.

When [Y/n] was very little, she wanted to follow in her fathers footsteps, and had little interest in make-believe heroes. Why would she? Her father was already a real life hero in her eyes.

But life often has other plans. When her father died, her hope of real life heroes died with him. She began to doubt the goodness of the world, and she had nobody to run to.

With her mother out of the picture, all she had left was her grandmother, who was as feisty as they came. She could take care of herself, so she had no problem declaring guardianship over young [Y/n].

When she finally began to piece her life back together, she became fixated on the marvel universe. It offered an escape, a new outlook. A world where heroes really did exist. A world, where [Y/n] could finally see good again.

Clearing her head, she began to make her trek back home. Jeremy was right, the ground had a thin layer of cracked ice all over it, coating the side-walk in a death-trap of colder months.

Taking extra caution to avoid these icy patches, she slowed to a crawl, weaving her way around tourists, and everyday commuters.

She pulled her phone out from her pocket, earbuds already connected by the plug, and unlocked it. She scrolled through her music, careful not to become too absorbed in the screen of her phone.

Then, like a bolt of lightning shooting down the sidewalk, [Y/n] felt herself being shoved to the side by a shadowy figure. Her phone went flying to the ground, and she hit the brick wall of one the storefronts beside her.

Annoyance bubbling inside her, she quickly regained her composure. “Hey! Watch it!” She barked, but the figure was already booking it down the sidewalk. Her nose crinkled, and she bent down to retrieve her cracked phone.

Great.

When she stood back up, she noticed the figure disappearing into an alleyway, and she could feel curiosity begin to grow inside her.

Before she could stop herself, her feet began to carry her in their wake, and she slipped into the same alley. Finding it empty, save for a trash bin and a few empty beer cans, she became determined to locate the mysterious stranger.

Her eyes traced the walls of the alleyway, before landing on a ladder, connected to the fire-escape of the building to her right. It lead right up to the roof, and as she tilted her head upwards, she could see the figure slink out of view above her.

With a quick once over of her surroundings, she followed suit, cold hands gripping the rusted metal bars of the ladder, and she hoisted herself up, quickly ascending the tall height of the building.

With a quick glance down, which frightened her beyond what she could ever imagine, she continued her way up, slightly out of breath once she reached the top.

There was nothing but silence at the top of the building, besides the quiet whirring of the air conditioning units that supplied cool air to the apartments below.

Ahead of her, the figure, dawning all black clothing with a saggy hood pulled over their head, climbed the scaffolding-like ladder of a crane position just a few meters from the other side of the building.

“What the hell are they doing?” [Y/n] muttered under her breath, already making her way towards the crane. Some part of her brain was screaming “Stop!” At the top of it’s lungs, only the worst possibilities of what this person could possibly do at the top of a crane, 7 stories up, came to [Y/n]’s mind.

And so, reluctantly, her brain allowed her to give chase. She neared the crane, which she would have to make a bit of a jump for, and she could feel her heart beating out of her chest.

Inside her head, a war broke out.

I’m going to die. What am I doing? I need to go back.

But what if they’re going to jump? What if they’re going to sabotage the crane? What if somebody gets hurt, and you could have prevented it?

What if I get hurt?

What if you do, but you save a life?

The ever persistent vigilante inside her won the battle. She wrapped her fingers around the bars, leaning over the edge of the building, and pulling herself over with a heave and a sharp beat of her heart. She could swear she was falling to her death, when she realized she had made it safely onto the oddly designed ladder to the top.

She picked up her pace, clawing her way up the yellow colored crane, just a few paces behind the mysterious person.

Wanting to stop them before they hurt themself, or caused any damage, she decided to call out for them.

“Hey! Wait!”

They turned only for a moment at her words, but their face was hidden beneath a mask pulled up over their nose, but their eyes bore a striking resemblance to [Y/n]’s. They hesitated for only a second, before speeding towards the top, and disappearing over the edge.

Shit!

Biting down on her lower lip in frustration, she began to climb her way further up the crane, until her shivering body clawed itself onto the flattened area above. The figure was walking precariously down the narrow bridge of the crane, and [Y/n] clung to the bars of the bridge.

“Hey! What are you doing?” She called, voice quaking.

The figure did not turn this time, and only looked down at their wrist, as if checking the time.

“Oh God.” She whispered. She sucked in a breath, and pushed herself away from the only thing holding her high above the ground. She stood up. “Please, get down from here, you’re gonna get hurt.”

They turned around at this, and their eyes widened at [Y/n]. She was shaking like a leaf. Legs splayed out, trying to maximize the amount of balance she had. Her arms reached out to her sides to steady her. The person eyed her, and they seemed to want to pull forward and comfort the young girl, but instead, they squeezed their eyes shut.

The bars creaked under [Y/n]’s weight, and she could feel herself growing more and more light-headed.

“No. No, you need to get down. Please. It’s dangerous.” Their voice was low, but rang with power.

“Come on, please. You could fall.”

They held a hand out, as if trying to stop [Y/n] from talking. “Kid, you don’t know what you’re doing. You need to turn around, and get back down to safety.”

[Y/n] shook her head. “Not without you.”

“Kid, you’re just going to get yourself hurt.”

“Oh.” [Y/n] held back a sour chuckle. “That’s rich, considering you’re the one who came up here in the first place.”

They stood there for a moment, before checking their wrist again. [Y/n] noticed the clean, square surface attached to their wrist, and noted it was probably some sort of smart watch.

“I don’t have much time.” Their eyes didn’t leave the watch. A loud crack made their eyes snap upwards, paired with the startled scream leaving [Y/n]’s mouth.

The crane’s bars that were propping her up gave out, and now, clinging desperately to the rusted metal, she was hanging there, only a slip away from death.

For a moment, time stopped for the black-clad stranger. They watched as [Y/n] eyes shut in terror, and whimpers of fear escaped her lips. They felt themself being tugged towards her, wanting desperately to save them. But the clock was ticking.

They let out a struggled breath, and balanced their weight on the bars, shuffling back to where [Y/n] clung for dear life. They bent down to her level and their voice softened.

“Hey. Hey, open your eyes, okay? Take a deep breath for me.” [Y/n]’s body was quivering, but she complied, cracking open her eyes and letting the light flood in.

They tilted their head. “Look at me, okay?”

[Y/n] did as told, but still, fear, and confusion flooded her brain. Reaching a hand up to their face, they removed their mask, pulling it down under their chin.

What [Y/n] saw might have killed her right then and there, if it weren’t for the adrenaline already coursing through her veins.

It was her. Her face, on the stranger’s. Yes, older, and more sodden, but it was hers. A scar ran deeply over the corner of her lip, and bags clung to her eyes, but [Y/n] would know herself. And this was her.

Eyes wide, [Y/n]’s mind struggled desperately to wrap itself around this. Somebody who looked like her? Doppelgänger? Coincidence?

No. [Y/n] knew that there was no such thing as coincidence. Not like this, anyway.

Her identical, as [Y/n] mentally decided upon calling her, furrowed her brows in concern and placed her gloves hands over [Y/n]’s.

[Y/n]’s lips parted. “Who are you?” She managed.

“You shouldn’t have followed me. You let curiosity get the best of you.” She looked away. “I know how that is.”

[Y/n] shook her head. “I’m scared.”

“I’m running out of time, okay? You need to take my hand.”

“I can’t- I can’t.”

[Y/n] watched as her eyes narrowed. “I am on a mission, okay? A mission I cannot miss. I have ten seconds to get you down, and if you don’t take my hand, I’m going to leave you here.”

This frightened [Y/n] more, and the sound of snapping metal filled her ears. She could feel all her emotions building like a waterfall inside her, and tears began to sprout in her eyes. Her doppelgänger backed away after a few seconds.

With a tight-lipped frown, she said, “I have to go. I’m sorry.”

[Y/n]’s eyes opened, and she watched as she went back to her perch at the edge of the crane. Fear began to fill [Y/n]’s core, and she let out any sound that came to her.

[Y/n]’s screams filled her identical’s ears, and she tried her best to block it out. The seconds ticked away, before she tore her gaze off her stopwatch as her alarm sounded. Sparks filled the air below, turning everything a vibrant green color. They zapped and cracked like electricity, before they snapped apart to reveal a glowing portal, hovering above the ground, just below where [Y/n]’s identical stood.

It was dark on the other side, the sound of pattering rain present, mixed in with the unstable sound of crackling. She looked over her shoulder at [Y/n] who pleaded for mercy. Her right hand gave way as the bar snapped. Piercing screams filled the air and she began crying out for help.

[Y/n]’s identical was not as callous as she presented herself to be. She was not emotionless, as many of her colleagues in her world saw her as. She had a heart. She could feel pain, just as anyone could.

And the screams that her younger double was making broke her to the bone. She could stand it no longer, and with a harsh breath inward, and a curse under her breath, she lifted her hands, her power flowing through her finger tips.

She latched onto the portal through her energy, and she threw it towards [Y/n], whose grip was weakening, and she hastily positioned it beneath her flailing body.

With one last, “Fuck my life,” the powerful [Y/n] counterpart sealed the deal, as [Y/n] lost her hold and fell backwards, directly into the portal.

She watched as it sealed behind her, her alarm ringing from her watch

Damn. Working with the multiverse is hard.

———

tags:

@amillionworlds @ewitsceleste @ximaginx @purplekitten30 @inhumanwithpowers @lazyloversblog @xcharlottemikaelsonx @tired-butterfly @xoxmariaxox @mysticalcollectionheartme @xreaderandshits @lizlil @kai-writes-fan-fiction @bxby-riah

i apologize to those who no-longer wish to be on the tag list. pls message me if you don’t want to be included anymore :)

[jocia92]

(Google translated)

Dan Stevens, who grew up in Wales and south-east England, spent his summer holidays at the National Youth Theater at the age of 15, and he was drawn to the stage while studying English in Cambridge. Since his big breakthrough as Matthew Crawley in the hit series “Downton Abbey”, he has also repeatedly appeared in films such as “Inside Wikileaks - The Fifth Force”, “At Night in the Museum: The Secret Tomb” or “Beauty and the Beast” . Most recently, Stevens played the Russian Schnösel singer Lemtov in the Oscar-nominated comedy “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” from Netflix. At the beginning of June, the German film “Ich bin dein Mensch” by Maria Schrader celebrated at the Summer Berlinale Premiere, which starts on 1.7. comes to German cinemas regularly. Stevens plays the role of a love robot in it. Unlike on the screen, however, the 38-year-old prefers to speak English in the zoom-conducted interview. He chose a brick wall with a lion motif as the digital background. No allusion to the song “Lion of Love” from “Eurovision Song Contest”, but a photo of the famous Ishtar Gate in Berlin’s Pergamon Museum, where “I am your human” was filmed last summer.

Mr. Stevens, in your new film “I am your human” you play a humanoid robot that is entirely geared towards fulfilling the romantic needs of a skeptical scientist. You yourself recently described the film as “delightfully German”. How did you mean that?

I wanted to say that here pretty big questions - such as what actually makes a person or how much perfection love can take - are negotiated in a very light-footed, elegant and sometimes humorous way. In my experience that is a very German quality. At least I have often seen with many of my German colleagues and friends that they are very good at not discussing difficult issues exclusively deadly serious and melancholy.

Where does your personal connection to Germany and the German language come from?

My parents had friends who lived in Bielefeld and we used to visit them in North Rhine-Westphalia during the school holidays. Traveled from England by car! That’s how I learned a little German as a child, and later I learned it as a subject at school. I even did a short internship there through our friends in Bielefeld. I really love the language. Funnily enough, I was later able to use my knowledge of German professionally, because my first film was “Hilde”, in which I was next to Heike Makatsch played the British actor and director David Cameron, who was married to Hildegard Knef. After that, I always hoped that there might be another chance to speak German in front of the camera, because playing in a foreign language is an exciting challenge. When the chance arose to shoot “I am your person”, I could hardly believe my luck.

Did you know the director Maria Schrader who gave you this chance?

Funnily enough, when the script for the film landed on my table, I had just watched the Netflix series “Unorthodox”, which she directed. I had also watched a few episodes of “Deutschland 89”. In general, I knew that she was a great German actress, not least because friends who knew their way around the German theater scene often raved about her. Working with her was a joy now. Her understanding of actors is quite instinctive and brilliant. I have seldom seen someone who can help an actor who is having difficulties with a scene with such simple means.

The fact that you had already seen “Unorthodox” shows, of course, how quickly “I am your person” must have been implemented in the past year …

Oh yes, that was really quick. In March I was still in New York and was about to premiere a new play on Broadway. But then the pandemic came, everything was canceled and I flew back to my family in Los Angeles. A few weeks later, Maria and I met each other via Zoom - and shortly afterwards I was sitting outside in a café in the Berlin June sun for the first time in months to discuss the upcoming shoot with her. That was pretty surreal because I hadn’t actually left the house since March.

Is it correct that you oriented yourself to Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart to portray the romantically programmed robot Tom?

In any case, these were role models that Maria and I spoke about. When you think of the game between the two of them, you always see an enormous clarity and directness. Cary Grant, for example, was always quite funny, especially in his romantic roles, but also flawless in an almost artificial way from today’s perspective. I found that very suitable for a robot. Apart from the fact that the ideas that Tom and his algorithm have of romance and love are certainly also shaped by the classic romantic comedies from Hollywood. Oh, the woman is sad, so I’ll bring her flowers! Such automatisms from the stories from back then were very appropriate for Tom now.

Keyword role models: Who shaped you in your career as an actor?

There were of course many. Jimmy Stewart was certainly something of a role model. My mom and I watched a lot of his films when I was little and I was always impressed by the kind of sweet tragedy that went into all of his roles. But maybe Robin Williams’ work influenced me even more. I always found the incredible variety of his films remarkable. He could make his audience laugh hysterically like no other, but also move them to tears in other roles. I always wanted to emulate this range.

In fact, the range of your roles is enormous and ranges from the Disney blockbuster “Beauty and the Beast” to a comic adaptation in series format such as “Legion” to bulky independent films such as “Her Smell” or the horror thriller “The Rental “, Which we just released on DVD. Is there a method behind this diversity?

Not in principle. I like variety, but I’m not just looking for roles that are as different as possible from one another. Rather, there are always similar factors that I use to select my projects. Sometimes there is a certain director that I really want to work with. Or the role itself is irresistible because it presents me with acting challenges. And sometimes a script is just fantastically written and I am interested in the topics it is about. With “I am your person” it was definitely the latter, especially since the timing was just right. In 2020 there were so many societal questions that ultimately touched the core of human existence. Such a script, which deals with something very similar in a light-footed way, was just fitting.

A few years ago you said in a questionnaire from the British Guardians that your greatest weakness was not being able to make up your mind. So every time you are offered a role, do you ponder whether you should accept?

No, no, when a script appeals to me, it actually does it very quickly. It’s such a gut feeling. If I’m unsure and skeptical, that’s a good indicator that this is not the right thing for me. That with the difficulty in making decisions related rather to something else. For example, it takes me forever to order in a restaurant because I can never decide what on the menu appeals to me the most.

You became famous with the role of Matthew Crawley in the series "Downton Abbey”. Did you immediately suspect at the time that something big was going on?

At first we were all pretty clueless. There are really many British history series, and we were one of them. When the first season aired in the US and was a huge success there, it was pretty unexpected. I never expected the impact the series would have on my career.

Barely ten years later, are you still being asked about the role?

Oh yes, regularly. Probably nothing will change about that either. I got out after three seasons!

In the meantime, however, the flamboyant Russian singer Alexander Lemtov from “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” should also be a character with whom you will be immediately associated, right?

Right, it has been mentioned more and more recently when people recognize me on the street. This charming, silly film obviously had a nerve with the audience last year in the middle of the corona pandemic. Especially since the real Eurovision Song Contest had been canceled.

The film was the number one topic of conversation on the Internet for a while - and Lemtov GIFs and memes were everywhere. Did you follow that?

It was really hard to avoid it. I wasn’t looking specifically for what people were posting. But of course my friends passed a lot on to me, and there were already some very funny Lemtov things. But he’s also a figure made for GIFs.

Another question every British actor under 40 has to put up with these days: Would you like to become the next James Bond?

Oh, of course, everyone gets to hear this question again and again who meets certain criteria. But it is completely hypothetical. Although a few years ago I read in an audio book by Ian Fleming’s “Casino Royale”.

You mentioned earlier that you and your family have lived in the United States for a long time. How big is your homesickness?

I actually feel very comfortable in Los Angeles. But every now and then I miss the sidewalk culture of European cities. People on foot, street cafes, things like that. Last year the longing for it was particularly great, although it was of course clear to me that there was a state of emergency in Europe too. In any case, I found myself reading books that were set in Europe and made me homesick. Which is why the unexpected trip to Berlin was really a boon.

You are also an avid cricketer. That’s certainly difficult in Los Angeles, isn’t it?

There are quite a few cricket clubs here. The only problem is that the few people who do the sport here are so good at it that I have problems keeping up. That’s why I always lose sight of the matter here a little. Even as a pure TV viewer, it is not easy to stay on the ball, because of course there is no cricket broadcast here at prime time. But as soon as I’m home in England in the summer, I really want to play again!

[nightowlfandom]

Anime! Fictional! BTS x Real World! Reader- Welcome To My World~ Episode 1

HEY HEY! IM SO EXCITE! Btw who here plays BTS World? This is very loosely based off that.

I need to download it again tbh.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!

Leggo!

...

What does it mean to escape? To get away. If it means leaving behind all you know, all you’ve been raised to know, all you’ve been led to believe, with just yourself and the clothes on your back. Scary, but thrilling. Terrifying, but inviting. Unbelievable, but definitely possible....

...

On a early Tuesday morning where the sun was barely grazing the orange sky, you sat by your windowsill. You were dreamily staring out into the halo that was a mixture of red and orange. The halo of greyish clouds matched your mood to a complete tee. The aesthetic beauty of nature wasn’t enough to make you smile or even blink twice, however. It was always like this though. Yet something about this scene made you go sour.

Releasing a sigh, you stepped away from the window, shutting the curtains. Another day, the same thing. All you could do was attempt to power through.

As you lazily pulled your shirt over your head, you had managed to dodge that annoying dog. The little brat wasn’t even yours, but your oh-so loving step-sister’s. He always had a affinity for making your room a hot mess.  Only yours in particular. 

“Get out of here you little-.” you chased the dog out of your room, slamming your door as it scurried off. “What did you screw up this time?” you curiously scanned the room. Everytime that little fluffy beast rammed his little head into your personal space, something would end up broken, ripped, shattered, or completely destroyed beyond repair. 

You almost screamed when you saw a familiar book cover on the floor. You instantly dropped to your knees, praying to yourself that it wasn’t true. The cover had a pretty violent looking rip along with the first few pages. 

Your absolute reason for waking up in the morning was tarnished. A signed cover of BTS Universe Issue #1. Probably your one and only favorite series on planet Earth. You gingerly picked up the book, trying to inspect it with hopes that the damage was minimal. As little as this was, you almost felt like crying. However there was no time, you needed to tape up the pages and fast! Who cares if you missed breakfast.

...

“Morning Y/N!” Your step-dad greeted you in the kitchen. “You were upstairs an awful long time, I was about to send your mother to see if you were still up playing that game of yours!” he smiled warmly.

“Thanks Mr. Chai.” you replied politely. “I’m sorry I’m so late.”

“You know...Y/N...you could call me Dad.” he set a plate down on the table. “I know I’m not your father, but I want to be the best father-figure for you because I know...you haven’t really had that.”

You had to stop yourself from saying anything else. You haven’t had the best parental relationship, and your new step-dad really was trying. Maybe it was just his daughter that drove you nuts.

“Thank you.” you replied, smiling. “...Dad.” you winked, making finger guns. “Geez! You made a lot of food for just the four of us”

“ Well you ain’t see muffin, yet!” he winked. “You and Nari have a busy day today. She auditioning and you, my friend....well I don’t know exactly what you have planned for the day.”

“I’ll tell you if we can skip the food related puns.” you sat down at the table. It was a rule that everyone waited for everyone else. Even though you had taken the extra time to repair your copy of BTS Universe, you had seemed to be the first person down the stairs. In all honesty, you were just going to hang out at the comic store until Nari called to tell you she was done.

“Hey now, Donut kill my vibe!” he continued, laughing. “I have a million more of these, come on. Don’t go bacon my heart, Y/N.”

“Good job Y/N, you’ve gotten him started.” You mom came down the stairs in her little blazer and pencil skirt. “Whatever will we do now.”

“He did it himself, the guy’s an animal! You married a wild child, mom.” you joked. “He might just be a serial killer.”

“Don’t you mean...cereal killer?” he held up a box of Raisin Bran to make his point. You could only shake your head as your mother and step-father laughed together. Food related humor so early in the morning had to mean today wasn’t going to be a horrible as it started, at least for you.

“WHERE ARE MY THIGH HIGH BOOTS!” you heard a screech from upstairs. “THEY BETTER NOT BE IN YOUR ROOM, Y/N!”

“...WHY WOULD I WANT TO WEAR YOUR SHOES!” you yelled back after taking in a deep breath. “NARI, IF I WANTED TO BREAK MY ANKLES, I’D HAUL MYSELF DOWN THE STAIRS.”

“When will you two get along?” your mom shook her head. “It’s been three years.” 

“We don’t not get along.” You shook your head. “Not my fault she’s difficult.”

“I can think of a few times you’ve been difficult yourself, young lady.” you mother pointed a stern finger at you. “Like when you locked yourself in the room to read that silly cartoon of yours.”

“It’s not silly.” you defended yourself.

“Oh come on!” Nari’s voice voice could be heard alongside some loud footsteps. “I think it’s cute to be honest. Y/N here actually has a hobby besides stalking celebrities online.”

“Shut up, Nari.” you grumbled. “And keep your dog out of my room! He ruined my signed copy of BTS Universe!”

“Dorie got out again?” she seethed, looking annoyed. “I really have to put a bell on that dog.”

“Yeah.” you sighed, you bummed mood returning. Everyone knew just how much you loved that edition. You kept in in a super special display case, you cleaned the case every week, you kept your other issues on their own bookshelf along with your figurine and digital visual novel editions of the series. You were even on the buyer’s list for the special early anime release. You LOVED this series. Not even Nari dared to disrespect something as important as that, and she loved getting under your skin.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to find another one.” your mother set down a bowl of cereal in front of you along with a muffin. “Now eat, you have a big day today.”

“Yes mam.” you replied, helping yourself to some cereal.

“If you want, you can take a muffin or bagel with you.” your step dad said. 

“Dad! I can’t, I have to be super focused remember? Breakfast will just slow me down!” Nari scoffed.

“Not having breakfast will make it even worse, dummy. Dude, you’re gonna pass out on stage.” you threw a tiny cereal piece at her. “Eat something.”

“I’ll eat later, I just have my eye on the prize and nothing is going to stop me.” Nari stood up determined. 

“Will you at least eat some toast, crazy girl.” your mother said. “Y/N’s right, you need to at least have eaten something to calm your nerves. Y/N make sure Nari eats something before you two go your separate ways.”

“I’ll try, no promise.” you shrugged. “Nari, if you’re done, then get your stuff and let’s go.” You promptly finished your cereal and went to go back upstairs. “You got ten minutes.” 

“What’s her deal?” you could hear Nari ask, followed by an sudden whispering of your mom stating exactly what she thought was wrong with you. Your bet was on ‘everything’.

You walked back into your room, grabbing your purse from your desk. You eyed your taped up issue of BTS Universe #1. There was no way you were going to find another issue like that, and that damned dog just treated it like a loved toy. You grabbed your phone and shoved it into your purse. You went over to where the issue was and placed it on your desk. 

“NARI LET’S GO!” you shut the bedroom door behind you as you walked out the room. 

...

You sped to a stop outside the building. Nari was shaking in her shoes. She seemed hesitant to even open the door. 

“Call me when you’re finished so I can pick you up.” you said, getting ready to unlock the doors.

“You’re leaving me!?” Nari looked like she was about to explode.

“Hello?! It’s idol trainees only?” you raised an eyebrow. “I can’t go in there with you. Nari what’s the problem?”

“...Um...I’m nervous alright! I’m giving up almost everything and if I don’t get chosen...I’ll just prove my dad right. I need this.” she stared down at her hands. “I’m not used to being a reject. I don’t know how you-”

“You wanna leave here with two working legs, I suggest you don’t finished that sentence.” you cut her off. “I’m not a reject.”

“That’s not what I was gonna say. I’m saying I don’t know how you deal with nerves like this.” she looked like she was gonna pass out. 

“...You just do.” you nudged her shoulder. “You just go for it and hope. Go for it.”

“...Okay, I’ll try.” she opened the door. “...Thank you.” she stood up. “I’ll call you when I’m all set.” she shut the door. 

“I’ll literally be at the store around the corner.” you replied before driving off. You watched in the rear view as she took her sweet time going into the building. 

...(Later on)

You trudged behind Nari as she ran through the door. She seemed happy, so that must have meant the audition went well.

“I’m gonna take a nap.” you called to your mom and step-dad. “See you guys at dinner!”

You didn’t wait for them to reply before you closed the door. As you walked over to your bed, you noticed a disc laying on your bed. Just a random DVD. The closer you got, the font on the front got clearer.

“BTS World?” It didn’t look familiar in the slightest. “It’s called BTS Universe, Nice try Nari.” you wrote it off as a stupid prank by your oh-so-loving Step-Sister. It was only then you realized Nari was with you all day. 

You took another look at it, gently taking it in your hands. It looked like it was glowing. 

Call it curiosity, but you needed to know.

Your laptop was sitting at the edge of the bed, so you put the disc in. 

“State your name.” a voice came out of nowhere. 

“What?” you looked around in shock. The voice sounded like it came from right behind you.

“Please state your name.” the female robotic voice repeated. 

“Y/N.” 

“Are you sure that you want Y/N as your name?”

“Um Yes?” you raised an eyebrow. You still didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

“Would you like to start a new game? You don’t appear to have any saved filed under the name Y/N.”

Maybe you were sleepier than you thought, but you ran with it. “Yes.”

“Starting new game....now”

Your screen began glowing a bright blue, a vivid, saturated blue. It was like your screen had turned into a flashlight. 

“What the fu-” you suddenly stared at your hands, the very tips of your fingers turned pixelated. “MOM!!!” You tried to scream, only to have it come out in the form on an echo. You felt your feet leave the ground as tiny little pixels moved towards your computer. You could see the color draining from your walls, leaving everything white. It was like an earthquake ran through your room...only through your room.

Then...everything went dark.

...

(Why hello there...LET US PREPARE. I’m gonna go through with it this time, I swear on my bacon! The guys are coming next chappie!)

[uniformbravo]

having a full on existential crisis over an episode of anime i watched tonight

it all started with big time rush

in 2009 a sitcom called big time rush aired for the first time on nickelodeon; it was about a group of four teenaged boys from minnesota who move to hollywood under a famous producer to become his next big boy band sensation. a simple premise, launched into unprecedented success, resulting in four seasons of musical shenanigans, three full music albums, and three big concert tours, including international shows. the band, both fictional and real life, featured four attractive young men by the names of kendall, james, carlos, and logan. they quickly gained a fan base of mostly teenage girls, which resulted in online spaces created for the purpose of sharing their passion, and as is common in such online communities, this certainly involved fanfiction- lots of it.

enter me, a teen in high school who loved to write fanfiction. my big time journey began the day my younger sister decided to put on the show big time rush in the living room, where i sat at the family computer typing away. the noise caught my attention, and i got sucked into the episode. there was a boy wearing a dress on the screen. i became interested.

i watched more of the show. i typed its name into the search bar on the website fanfiction dot net. i had a friend at school who shared my interest in fanfiction, particularly of the slash variety. i introduced her to this new show i had been watching. she shared a fanfic she had enjoyed immensely with me. we dragged each other into the world of big time rush fanfiction reading and writing.

it took over my life; i lived and breathed big time rush. i began posting my own stories to fanfiction dot net. i received positive feedback; i met people. i made friends- two people in particular who became very close friends. we communicated through ffn’s private messaging system, then through email. we talked every day, we wrote stories for and with each other, we exchanged phone numbers. it was one of these friends who introduced me to the website called tumblr, where fellow fans of our beloved big time rush gathered and talked about it- a community.

it was a slow start- this website was new and unfamiliar to me- but eventually i got the hang of things and settled into my niche. i had fun, gained followers, met even more people. tumblr was a place not only for sharing one singular interest, but for accumulating all of your various interests and celebrating them in one place. it was through this aspect that i first learned of the up and coming band known as one direction.

they had released their first smash hit single and everyone was talking about it. i was wary, far too loyal to my beloved big time rush- but eventually i started to feel left out and in an effort to feel included, i decided to take the plunge and see what this “1d” was all about. it was intimidating, though- there was so much information, and no apparent beginner’s guide to tell me where to start. this drove me to making a post calling for a “one direction buddy” to take this role, to introduce me to all the most important aspects of this band. and my call was answered.

enter my wonderful friend cam, a follower of mine at the time. they were into both big time rush and one direction and were eager to provide me with all the information needed to get into 1d. while ultimately this venture didn’t amount to anything, as i lost interest in becoming a fan, my friendship with cam persisted and we grew very close. even as time went on and big time rush faded into the background to be replaced with newer, fresher interests, and our paths as fellow fandom members split, we kept in contact and remained friends. years and years of fandoms, years and years of friendship.

in the midst of the tenth year, cam developed a new interest, in a sport called ice hockey. as is tradition, they shared their passion with me, showing me their favorite team, highlighting their favorite members. we watched a game together. personally, i’ve never been one for sports, but i am quite into anime, which consists of many genres, including the “sports” genre. one in particular that i’ve enjoyed immensely in the past is the volleyball anime, haikyuu!!. this anime devotes a lot of time to explaining and depicting the sport in a way that makes it easy for any viewer to understand the rules and inner workings of volleyball. it’s exciting. it’s the first time i’ve ever even adjacently been invested in a sport. one could even call it a gateway into the world of sports.

all this to say, when i watched that game of ice hockey with cam, the same parts of my brain that loved haikyuu!! lit up and in a classic display of my specific brand of interest, i found myself yearning for the epic highs and lows of ice hockey, but in an animated format. an animated format originating in japan. a japanese animation. an anime. my curiosity burned a hole in my brain that resulted in a combination of the google search bar and the words, “hockey anime”.

to my disappointment, i found nothing- at least, not to the degree i was hoping. there is an upcoming anime, slated to air in the fall 2021 anime season, about a group of girls who form an ice hockey team together- as it is an original project rather than an adaptation, it remains to be seen whether the anime will fall into the category of “sports anime,” or if indeed it will lean much more closely to the “moe” genre. the latter is not what i had in mind during that particular search.

adding the anime called “pride of orange” to my “plan to watch” list on myanimelist dot com, i moved onto the next result: an article about an early 2010’s anime i had never heard of before. while not about the sport i was looking for, it featured a character whose signature weapon was a field hockey stick. it wasn’t even the right sport. it was a weak, insignificant link, but all was not lost.

i happen to have an affinity for watching anime i happen upon completely by random and know little to nothing about; i found the movie “anthem of the heart” purely coincidentally, when i searched the name “jun” as part of some research for one of my original characters and discovered that it was the main character of said movie, which i then watched and ended up enjoying quite a lot. another time, when i was at best buy one day i happened upon a dvd on their dedicated anime shelf for a movie called “hana and alice”, which i had never heard of before. i liked the box art, so i took a picture of it to remember the title and watched it on my own later that week; it became one of my favorite movies.

with these and other similar experiences in mind, i saved the anime in my “plan to watch” list, and, later that same week, began my watch of “sket dance.”

it’s a school comedy anime, one of my favorite genres, so it’s no surprise that after overcoming the initial skepticism i carry into every new show i watch it quickly became my new fixation. not an obsession, but something i was pleasantly surprised to find consistently enjoyable. the characters are fun, the humor is tight and fresh, and the stories are unexpectedly touching at the right moments. everything i like to see.

which brings us to tonight. the culmination of this ten plus year string of events and occurrences. getting into big time rush. joining tumblr. meeting cam. watching anime. searching for hockey anime.

i put down my apple(TM) pencil. i set my ipad aside. i downsized the ebook window i’d been referencing. i stretched; i was hungry and tired. i’d been rereading passages of various animorphs books all day. i needed a break. i needed to sit back with some food and an episode of my latest comfort watch, sket dance. it’d be nice to set the dramatic, tragic world of animorphs aside for something lighthearted and fun in its place.

well.

i sat down with my bowl of strawberries and played the episode. it finished. i watched another. this one broke the formula a bit, played with the art style. i was into it. the preview for the next episode was mysteriously blank, and short, stating only the title. it was intriguing. i’m down for the show to get a bit more serious for an episode, i thought. i’m down for some potential backstory for one of the main three. i’m ready.

i was not ready.

bruh.

b r u h .

next two episodes proceeded to take me out back and beat me to within an inch of my life, slowly at first and then all at once. barely made it out alive. questioning everything. how can a show, so silly and goofy, do that, to me. how could i let my guard down like that. how could i be so tricked, and deceived, and blindsided like this. i don’t know who to trust. i don’t know if i can trust again. whiplash so damaging, permanent. i thought i wanted answers. i thought i wanted to know backstory. i didn’t want this. i never wanted this. emptiness

how did it come to this, these twelve years of my life. had i known back then, would i have posted that fanfiction? would i have joined tumblr? would i have sook out a “one direction buddy”? a hollow husk of a person, i am left with only my thoughts to ponder this small history of mine. the things i could have done differently. the things others could have done differently. all these butterfly effect moments, adding up to what? culminating in what? it’s 2:26 am and i’m writing an essay on how shook i am over that episode instead of going to sleep. but i can’t just say nothing, you know? i need to put something out there, reach deep enough within myself to find the thing that’s still there, broken and huddled and tiny as it is. i need to feel some semblance of the self again. the me from before i watched this episode. the innocent version of myself, blissful in ignorance. it’s too late now.

that episode…………..was fucked up. that was seriously fucked up. im not okay bro they really just came in left field and slapped that in my face expecting me to get up and walk away just fine afterwards like No that isn’t how this Works y’all need to bundle some therapy sessions with ur episodes pullin that shit come ON

exhaustion is taking over the shock, i am simply tired now. i will fall asleep and when i wake up sket dance will be a happy fun show again with NO fucked up backstories ever Or Else. i’m fucking serious right now i’m gonna count to 3 and that shit better be retconned when i turn around,

screams

thank you

[fionnthebandersnacc]

Nightmares (Fionn Whitehead x reader)

Request: Could you maybe write an imagine where you meet Fionn at a friends party and the both of you end up staying over after the party ends and you have a nightmare and get into Fionn’s bed with him for cuddles?- by anon

Warnings: fluff, cuddles, nightmares??

Word count: 1067

Pairings: fionn whitehead x reader, platonic!harry styles x reader

A/N: This is taking place sometime after filming of Dunkirk has commenced, it just made it easier to frame a narrative. Just for reference, Y/D/J means ‘your dream job’ and Y/F/M means ‘your favourite movie’ On another note thank you so much anon bc I love love love this request writing it had me feeling all gooey and warm inside :) also I was listening to my cutesy lovey-dovey playlist when writing it so ahhh im so feeling this rn 😍 😍  also just as one final note, on my masterlist i wrote ‘cuddlebug’ was an imagine coming soon and this is technically ‘cuddlebug’, i just changed the name to ‘nightmares’ k thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

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“Y/N! It’s so lovely to see you darling!! Come in, come in!” Harry ushers you inside before throwing his arms around you in a warm embrace. “Hey Harry. I’ve missed you!” Pulling away, he pecks you on the cheeks, “I’ve missed you too pooki! Let me introduce me to my mates, they’re gonna love you!” He slings his arm around your shoulders and you walk together into the living area. Three boys are seated messily on the couch, limbs tangled and sticking out every which way as they yell and shout, immersed in the game of Mario Kart they’re playing. “Oi lads! Y/N’s here!” The boys stop at the sound of Harry’s voice, one falling off the couch in shock. A boy with curly brown hand acknowledges you first with a wave. “Hey, I’m Aneurin.” You smile at him, before the boy with long blonde hair waves you over. “I’m Tom. Here sit with us!” You smile, as Harry leaves your side and sits on the small sofa to the right. You follow suit, settling in between Tom and a boy with soft hazel eyes and brown hair. He smiles shyly at you, before extending his hand and greeting you. “Hi, I’m Fionn.” “I know.” you reply without thinking, mentally slapping yourself. “I-I mean Harry’s told me a lot about you.” you say, taking his hand and shaking it. “Ah, well he’s told me a lot about you too. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He smiles sincerely at you, and you feel a tingly warmth spread through your body. “It’s nice to finally meet you too. Harry really had fun doing the movie with you guys.” “Yeah it was a blast. I honestly never would’ve guessed that I’d become friends with that idiot, but here we are.” You laugh, nodding your head. You look down and realise you’re still holding Fionn’s hand. You blush, as Fionn releases your hand and rubs his cheek bashfully. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Harry staring at the pair of you, a satisfied smirk on his face. “So what do you do y/n?” “I’m a Y/D/J.” The conversation picks up again, flowing smoothly between you, and the more you talk to him, you become more at ease, feeling as if you were talking to an old friend. You couldn’t help but study his face, the sharp jaw, the freckles covering his nose and cheeks, his hazel green eyes. He was beautiful, and smart, and witty, and you couldn’t stop the butterflies swarming your stomach. “Hey, let’s watch a movie!!” Harry jumps up like an excited puppy at Aneurin’s suggestion, causing you and Fionn to jump apart. “Yeah, what should we watch?” Fionn says as he leans back on the couch. You follow suit, taking note of how Fionn’s arm moves to rest around your shoulders. Harry pulls out Y/F/M and you nod enthusiastically. “We’re watching Y/N’s favourite movie. Settle in lads!” He takes the DVD out of the case, putting it into the DVD player.

=================================== “Shit, it’s late. Thanks for having us Haz, see you tomorrow.” Tom and Aneurin hug Harry before walking out through the front door. You finished the movie, and after another few hours of fucking around playing Mario Kart, everyone was tired. Fionn stretched his arms out, then rubbed his eyes tiredly before looking up at Harry. “Hey Harry, would you mind if I crashed here? I’m too tired to drive.” “Yeah sure, I’ll set up the pull-out for you.” Harry pauses for a moment before turning to you. “What about you Y/N? You wanna crash here too?” You nod, feeling your eyes droop. There’s no way you could drive home like this. “If you want, you can sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep on the air mattress in here with Fio-�� “Oh that’s fine I’ll just sleep in here.” It comes out before you fully think about the situation. You. Sleeping next to one of the cutest guys you’d ever met. Before you could take anything back Harry’s handing you a bundle of sheets for the couch and the air mattress and saying goodnight, smirking at you before heading upstairs. You drop the sheets on the couch, rubbing your neck awkwardly. “Sorry, I probably should’ve asked if you’d minded me sleeping here.” Fionn shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it love, as long as you’re comfortable.” You nod, then move to start setting up the couch and the air mattress together. “Hey, you take the couch. I’m not gonna make you sleep on the floor.” “Fionn don’t be ridiculous, I’ll be on a mattress!” “Bu-” “No buts. I’m a big girl, it’s okay.” “Alright...but if you change your mind…” “I won’t!” “Okay...if you say so.” He relents, smiling at you before lying down on the couch. You lie down on the couch. Closing your eyes, you smile at the thought of Fionn’s presence, before drifting off to sleep.

===================================

“Fuck...leave me alone…. no…why did you do that to me... no… please don’t...FUCK!” “Y/N? Wake up!” Your eyes fly open, seeing Fionn gently shaking your shoulder. You’re covered in sweat, shaking like a leaf. You sigh, burying your head in your hands and rubbing your eyes. You thought the nightmares would have gone away by now, but your past has continued to haunt you. “Hey, Y/N, are you okay?” He brushes your hair out of your face. You shake your head, feeling hot tears spill down your cheeks. “It’s just these fucking nightmares…” Fionn shuffles closer, wrapping his arms around you and stroking your hair. “Hey, it’s okay… you’re okay.” You clutch him tightly, letting the tears fall. You were so tired of being afraid, but Fionn’s embrace calmed you and made you feel safe. You pull away, wiping your eyes. “Thanks Fionn.” He smiles and nods, absentmindedly kissing you on the forehead before getting up and lying back down on the couch. You think for a minute, before standing up and sliding in next to Fionn. He doesn’t question you, instead wrapping his arms around you as you lay your head on his chest and close your eyes, basking in his warmth and humming in bliss. You drift off to sleep again, the last thing you feel being Fionn tracing circles on your back and kissing your forehead. 

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A/N: Omg that was so fun to write!!! i love fluff pieces ahhhh🥺🥺hope you guys enjoyed that! Feel free to reblog and let me know what you thought!! I’ll be uploading a Scott Reed imagine sometime tomorrow (or later today for all you non-Aussies). Requests are still open!!

[josephmozzerellaswife-blog]

Expecting the Unexpected Part 4

IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I have been slammed with school and work so I’ve barely had time to write! Luckily I was sick for the past couple days and finally got to finish it. I hope you all LOVE it as much as i loved writing it for you all.

Warnings: fluff, angst, childhood illness, SMUT (at the end)

Word Count: 6500+

Summary: When Joe gets back from his recent business trip he notices something is up with your new little one. Can an urgent ER trip change your lives for good?

That night was even worse. Every couple hours Scarlet’s walling would jolt you both out of your sleep, her cries crushing your hearts with each beat. You turned to your phone for the time, 3:47 am.

“It’s my turn, I’ll go try to calm her down again.”

Joe was so strong through all of this and you never understood how. He had his breaking moments, but never let you feel like you were alone, his constant reminder that you all were going to get through this. Scarlet was going to win this battle.

He was persistent about you staying in bed. Not only did you watch Scarlet constantly during her treatment the day before but Joe knew that you weren’t eating because of your anxiety. His worries only grew as you continue to push aside your health for Scarlet. Of course he understands why you’re doing it, you can’t help, it but he just wants you to be healthy.

The last thing you remember was Joe crawling back into bed as he wrapped his arms around your waist, placing a light peck against your forehead.

“I love you Y/N. It’s crazy how much I love you, you know that?”

“What’s crazier is that I love you even more.” you whispered in a daze, your eyes quickly getting heavier by the minute.

“Not possible my love. You are my everything and more. The both of you.”

He kissed you passionately against your lips, his soft lips melting into yours, each time falling deeper and deeper into him. He was such a tease but you were both so tired that this was all you needed. Each other. Him holding you. Falling asleep in his arms.

The warm sunshine woke you from your well needed rest. The only thing missing was Joey but you figured he just went to check on Scarlet. A quick buzz of your phone drew your attention as the screen lit up.

“Joe Mazzello leaves Oscars in a hurry. What’s actually going on and is there another “hospital visit” in store?”

Normally you would be furious at the press but your worries were easily redirected to the bigger picture. Scarlet. You always knew that dating Joe would bring unnecessary attention to your life but you could care less about the media. Joe was your true love, your soulmate, he was everything to you and more. A little press wasn’t going to change that. Then came marriage and little Scarlet. Everything was falling into place and the media was there to share it the whole time. Even when the press angered you, Joe was there to remind you that nothing else mattered to him but you. Only you.

After browsing through the various press releases about your husband and his ‘dramatic’ exit, you finally brought yourself to stumble out of bed. Not so gracefully throwing on one of Joe’s hoodies, you made your way down the hall to Scarlet’s room only to find your adorable husband asleep while swaddling your precious little one. Their snores, although cute, bounced off the walls into an echo. You couldn’t help but laugh. Scarlet was a perfect mix of you both but she has the best of Joe’s personality. You threw on a fuzzy blanket over Joey’s legs and cracked the door open ever so slightly, trying to avoid waking your sleepy family.

You threw yourself into your husband’s spot on the couch and clicked on one of the movies Joe always kept in the dvd player, “It’s a Wonderful Life”. It was always one of your favorites but Joe opened a new view of the movie to you. His experience with film making and acting always made movies so much more magical to you. Visiting on set, dress rehearsals, press tours, everything that went along with the movie was a new experience. You always tried your best to have these experiences with Joe. Undrafted was the first time you both got the chance to do it together as a married couple. He always took you with him for interviews, showings, even most of the filming days.

A familiar buzz took you from the memory as you glanced to the coffee table, it was Gwilym.

Morning Y/N, I tried to reach Joe but didn’t get an answer. We were all just wondering if you all would like to go out for some tea later, say about noon? We both know how much Joe loves a good afternoon tea, or literally anytime he can have it. It’s just a little something for us to show our support, plus it’s been a while and we’d love to catch up! Kisses to Scarlet for me! X

You were very quick to reply. Whenever you could hang out with the gang, you always took the invitation. Plus Joe could use some quality time with his friends and you really just wanted to take your mind off of things and talk with Lucy.

Of course Gwil! We’d love to. The Huntington Rose Garden Tea Room is our favorite in the area! Please tell me you’re bringing that lovely fiancé of yours, Lucy and I need another girl to talk with.

Yes she is! I take her everywhere after all. She’s dying to meet the little one! Hopefully she’s not feeling to bad. I am so so sorry about everything that’s happened. Just know that we are all here for you guys if you need anything!

Thank you Gwil that’s very kind of you all. See you at noon!

Time felt like it flew by. It was about 10am when you heard footsteps coming from around the corner.

“Good morning my love. Someone felt a little ill so I slept in the rocking chair last night.” he mumbled, rubbing circles into his eyes.

“I saw. All I have to say is how did I get so lucky to have a sexy, multi-talented husband who cares for his child and wife while dropping everything to be with them. You really are my knight in shinning armor Mazzello, you know that?”

His eyes couldn’t leave your face, your body. His gaze grew deeper into yours, falling in love with you more than he ever thought possible. He inched closer to you by the second, his lips soon locked to yours. Joe set the sleepy child into her portable crib he assembled the day before. He swiftly twirled you back into his arms, your lips interlocked again. You pushed him into the couch, quick to hover over him as your touch remained constant. His hands sliding down your back as you inched closer to each other.

“You drive me absolutely insane Y/N.”

“Funny, I was about to say the same thing as you.”

Your touch never left his body, the distance from each of you nonexistent. If it weren’t for the little one right across the room you knew for sure it would have been more than a steamy make out session.

“You’re such a tease Mazzello.”

“I am? Speak for yourself.”

You both fell into simultaneous giggles, your head leaning against his chest as he stroked your hair.

“I could do this everyday. Just you and me. On this couch. But a little more-“

“Watch it Joe. Baby in the room.”

His gaze grew deeper into yours as a smile creeped along his face.

“Well, you already know then don’t you.”

“I have an... idea I suppose.” you said, a wink shooting in your husband direction.

“God the things I could do to you.”

“Joey!”

“What. It’s true.”

“Ugggh, you tease.”

His playful smile soon fell to yours in a slow, passion filled kiss. It was true that Joe always felt like home. Even if it wasn’t New York, whenever you were with Joe you always felt safe. Nothing was ever gonna happen to his favorite girls after all.

“I almost forgot. Gwil texted earlier, invited us to afternoon tea with the whole gang.”

“Your joking.” he said, barely hiding the excitement in his eyes.

“Am not. Told him we’d bring the whole fam. After all, it’s been a while since we’ve taken Scarlet out and it could does us all some good to get out of this apartment.”

“I love you.”

“I love you to Joey.”

He placed a kiss against your forehead as he continued to rub your arm.

“I’m glad you’re here. With me. I don’t know what I would do if I never meet you all those years ago. Tom really did do his magic didn’t he.”

You giggled. Tom Hanks was originally the one who introduced the two of you. You weren’t an actress but he was a family friend and knew about your love for film. He insisted you come to set and even offered you a role as an extra for the end of the shoot.

“I couldn’t Tom. I’m not even an actress.”

“Come on Y/N I know you’d love it!”

As much as you wanted to say no a cute, fiery redhead walking this way had other ideas.

“Oh you have to take the part. A gorgeous girl like you can’t just be sitting on the sidelines. You’d be perfect!” he said, his eyes fighting to stay on yours.

“Y/N this is Joe Mazzello. He plays Eugene.”

Your face instantly flushed a deep shade of pink as you saw Tom’s smile grow from ear to ear out of the corner of your eye.

“I’ll leave you two to talk.”

“So what’s a gorgeous girl like you saying no to Tom Hanks?”

“Oh Tom is just a family friend. I’m no actress.”

“I beg to differ. With that personality you could do anything.”

“Anything?”

He smiled. You could tell that even though he came on strong, deep down he was really shy and judging by the group of men whispering from a far, this seemed to be a big step for him.

“Well I was wondering if uh- you wanted to uh-“ he stumbled over his words, the confidence he had quickly turning into his shy persona again.

“Get coffee sometime?” you giggled.

“Really? You want to go out with me?”

“I don’t see why not. You are very sweet.”

He blushed before your turned to give him your number. Little did you know, that the part Tom has planned for you was to dance with Joe’s character at the end of the final episode. Even though it was cut from the show, Tom had planned for you to meet Joe the whole time. When he spoke at your wedding along side Steven Spielberg, they mentioned how one day they were talking about the two of you and noticed how similar of a chemistry you both had. Ever since then you’ve been together and you both owe it all to those lovely men.

Joe noticed how you were day dreaming. He could only wonder what you could possibly be thinking about. He loved how that intelligent brain of yours worked. When he looked at you again he noticed you dozed off. Considering that you were laying on top of him, he just held you tight, never letting go. He always felt the need to let you know how much he loved you.

You were both soon woken up by the small cries of your ill child from across the room. It hurt you to see Scarlet in such discomfort. Even though she wasn’t throwing up anymore and most of the hard side-effects had worn off by now, you could still tell she wasn’t her best. You grabbed her medicine off the counter and swopped her up to breastfeed. It was only a few more hours before you left and you didn’t want her to be cranky considering it would be the first time you all hung out in a while. You quickly swaddled her before laying back next to Joe to feed her.

“You’re amazing. I honestly don’t know how you do it.” he smiled.

He always knew you would be a fantastic mother. He could tell just by the first time you both spoke about having children, the tone of passion and excitement in your voice.

Joe offered to finish cleaning up Scarlet so you could go and start to get ready. Bless that man. You decided to go with something simple and just throw on some jeans and a comfy sweater. You were just about to leave the bathroom when you looked in the mirror,

“Yikes. Looks like I didn’t get very much sleep last night after all.”

You quickly powdered your faces and threw on some sloppy concealer just to cover your under eyes before heading down the hall to Scarlet’s room.

“Joey honey go get ready, I can get her dressed.”

“I’d love to but you know this is my favorite part.”

You both laughed in unison. It was true, Joe was quite the fashionista when it came to baby clothes.

“Ok well I’m on baby duty when you’re done Mazzello. We are running late.”

“Yes ma’am.”

God he always knew just how to make you laugh.

You swooped the baby from his arms as you pointed to the bedroom door, obviously trying to hold in your giggles. You slowly rocked your little one as you sang one of her favorite songs, trying to get that cute little smile out of her.

I was born to love you

With every single beat of my heart

Yes I was born to take care of you

Every single day of my life

It didn’t take very long for her sweet, gentle eyes to light up across her face.

“How did mommy ever get so lucky to be blessed with you and daddy?”

Little did you know, Joe was standing in the doorway all jazzed up and snapping pictures of the two of you.

“Have you been there the whole time?”

“Most of it. We’re gonna be late but I could stand here and watch you all day.” he giggled, a tear running from his eye.

“Aww love, don’t cry.” tears were quickly forming in your eyes.

“You both are just so incredible. I don’t know who i’d be without you.”

He encased you in his arms, his chin resting on your head while one hand wrapped around your waist and the other on Scarlet’s head. You wish the moments like these could last forever. While you rushed out the door and got Scarlet all situated in her car seat, Joe made sure that everything you might need was in her diaper bag and quickly followed you.

It was about a 45 minute drive to the tea room and Scarlet slept for most of the car ride, although both Joe and your singing might have woken her up a few times. Thankfully she was in a great mood.

“I’m so glad we get to do this. I know how much you’ve wanted to do something like this since the diagnosis.”

“I’m just glad I get to do it with you. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to spend the rest of my life with.” the tears slowly began to fill your eyes.

“Aww baby don’t cry. I know it’s been tough but I will always be here every step of the way, through everything, not just this.”

“I love everything about you Joey. Even your snores no matter how many times I have to nudge you at night.” Your tears soon turned to laughter before you both got out of the car.

The paparazzi had been following your car for the past 15 minutes so you already knew what to expect. Joe had quickly unbuckled Scarlet and swaddled her in the blanket before he came around the car to grab your hand. Thankfully Ben had come outside to help escort you both past the outrageous amount of cameras.

“Seems like you three are quite the popular bunch.” Ben joked.

“To bad it’s just to find out about if we are doing our jobs as parents right.” you muttered.

Joe placed his hand against your low back, slowing rubbing up and down.

“Are you crazy? Obviously you both are the best parents. Everyone knows it, even the paps.” Gwil chimed in.

“Uggh it’s just frustrating. I know i’m not supposed to care what they think but this is mine and Joe’s child they are talking about.”

Joe could tell you were getting upset just by the way you were holding his hand.

“Why don’t we go find our table yeah?” Joe implied, looking to Ben.

Ben noticed what Joe was trying to do.

“Hey Y/N/N, you mind if I pull Joe aside really quick.” Ben asked.

“You don’t have to ask silly.” you smiled, taking the baby from Joe’s arms.

“Besides I think everyone is dying to see Scarlet anyway.”

As you walked away from the two handsome men, you were greeted by Rami, Lucy and Gwilym’s fiancé who you had met a couple times before.

“Oh my gosh Y/N has she grow already since the last time we saw her? It’s only been a few weeks!” Lucy exclaimed.

“I know she is growing like crazy lately. It makes mommy a little sad doesn’t it sweetie.” you say, as you direct your attention to your daughter who Gwil was now holding.

“She better stop growing, otherwise I won’t get to call her my little squirt anymore!” Rami laughed while Lucy nudged his arm playfully.

You noticed that Joe had been gone for a while now and it was starting to worry you. What could he possibly be planning? Was he ok? Your anxiety was starting to get the best of you after the encounter you had not long before.

“Excuse me for just a moment, I’m gonna go to the ladies room. Lu do you mind watching Scarlet for a minute?” you said as your worried expression was painted across your face.

“Sure love! Scarlet loves her auntie Lucy time huh little one?” she said as she let your little one hold her finger.

As you got up Gwil noticed a tear running down your cheek. He looked to his fiancé with a concerned look on his face,

“Love would you go check on her? I think she’s having a rough time with all of this.”

Gwil had told her about everything Joe had said the night before so she was somewhat caught up to speed.

“Of course, I can’t imagine any of this being easy for them.”

Just as she began to walk away Joe and Ben had entered the private room to join the rest of the group. Joe scanned the room for you after noticing Scarlet was with Lucy.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Oh she just went to the restroom, she should be back in a second.” Lucy said, but something still seemed a little off to Joe considering the way you stayed close to him earlier.

“Joe-“ Gwil whispered, trying to get Joe’s attention.

He looked to Gwil instantly. Maybe he knew something?

“I noticed Y/N starting to get upset before she left so my fiancé went to check on her. Is everything all right?”

Joe hesitated. He didn’t know if he should tell him or not but Gwil was one of his best friends and Rami and Ben already knew.

“She’s been having a rough time. Her anxiety hasn’t been the best lately and it’s been hard for us with the whole diagnosis and all.” He looked to Scarlet, holding in whatever tears he had left.

“Joe I- I had no idea man. I’m sorry.” he could tell Gwil felt bad for asking, it was a touchy subject after all.

“No Gwil it’s ok. We appreciate everything all of you have done for us. It’s been hard and it’s not going to get any easier but with all of you supporting us it’s been very helpful. We can’t thank you guys enough.”

He smiled resting his hand on Gwil’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna go check on Y/N and see if she’s alright.”

Joe couldn’t get up from his seat any faster, his worries about you growing with every step.

You heard a knock on the door as you were crying into Gwilym’s fiancé’s shoulder.

“Who is it?” she said, trying to hand you more tissues.

“It’s Joe. Honey are you okay?”

You looked up from her shoulder.

“Baby please come in.” you managed to spit out between sobs.

He swiftly opened the door encasing you in his arms.

“Love oh no. Are you alright?”

“I’ll give you some privacy.” she said before leaving the room.

“Joe I thought I could do this. I really did. It’s just so much all at once and with the paparazzi and all eyes are on us right now. It’s just a lot. I don’t want to leave, I want to be here with our friends but I just needed a minute. I’m sorry i’m such a mess, you shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“Y/N/N don’t you ever say something like that. Don’t apologize for something you can’t control love. I want to be here for you. I want YOU. You are the only thing I care about right now.”

His words comforted you along with his warm touch. You needed him so bad right now and you couldn’t understand why. It only took you a couple more minutes to calm down from your anxiety attack. Joe always knew how to help you through them. You pulled yourself together and Joe held your hand as he guided you both back to the table.

“Sorry for that. Just needed a moment.” you apologized.

“No need to apologize Y/N. We’re all here for you guys.” Ben explained.

It was obvious that everyone knew what was going on by now and an instant relief flew through your body. Everyone important to you both knew. Now the only thing left was the world but it’s definitely not the time for that. You smiled over to Gwil’s fiancé and mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ as she smiled.

“So how has everyone been? I know everyone has been quite busy lately.” you pointed out.

“Well 6 Underground has been a blast! We’re almost wrapped too! One production is finished you bet i’m gonna be at your house all the time to watch that little one of yours.” Ben winked to you, something seemed a little suspicious but you couldn’t quite put a finger on it yet.

“And I’ve just done a finally press tour for Top End Wedding! Movie weddings are fun and all but I can’t wait to experience the real thing soon.” Gwil smiled as he wrapped his arm around his fiancé.

“Rami and I have been doing a lot of traveling lately. See the world together. It’s been great fun.” Lucy turned to kiss Rami on the cheek.

“That’s fantastic! We’re glad you all are doing so well. We missed you guys like crazy.” you laughed.

“We missed you guys too. Especially last night.” Rami explained.

“Congratulations by the way Mr. Academy Award winner.” Joe nudged his shoulder.

“You could say that. I couldn’t have done it without all of you. Even you little squirt.” Rami smiled, looking to the small child resting in his girlfriends arms. He tickled the little girl until her giggles flooded the room causing everyone to laugh along.

You adored how much everyone loved Scarlet. There was never a doubt in your mind that they wouldn’t love her even if she was born right before BoRhap’s big premiere.

The rest of the afternoon was wonderful. Everyone chatted about what was going on in their lives and all the new upcoming projects. Scarlet was definitely getting all the attention no doubt. Everyone insisted on holding her and giving her all the cuddles in the world. It was way past her nap time so when she fell asleep in Ben’s arms he looked a little scared.

“Uhh Joe mate. What did I do?”

“Nothing Ben.” he said while everyone continued to laugh,

“She just fell asleep. It’s way past her first nap.”

Joe took her from Ben to relieve him of his baby duties while everyone else finished their tea and conversations.

It wasn’t long after that when everyone said their goodbyes and loved on your little one for the last time. Except for Ben. Something was definitely going on. Maybe this was what he pulled Joe aside for?

As the paparazzi scrambled to photograph everyone leaving, there was one in particular trying to catch shots of your little one before Ben got into the car.

“Hey buzz off mate. Don’t you know what boundaries are?” Ben threatened the man still shoving his camera towards your child’s face.

Joe was quick to step in, keeping you close behind him before helping you into the car after Ben had Scarlet situated.

“Babe what’s going on?” you questioned, puzzled by the blonde sitting directly behind you.

“I may have a little something up my sleeve planned for tonight.”

Your puzzled expression quickly grew into a smile. He always planned the best surprises.

“Oh is that so?” you teased, having an idea of what might happen tonight.

“What can I say. I’m full of surprises.”

“You don’t fool me one bit Mazzello.”

He smiled at you placing a kiss to your lips before getting into his side of the car.

On your way home, you noticed that Joe had missed the exit to go back to Ben’s hotel. You figured that was on purpose based upon the quiet giggles and smirks the two men had exchanged while passing it.

“What in the world are you two planning?”

“What are you talking about Y/N? I just asked Joe if he could drive me back to your apartment because I forgot some stuff there.” Ben explained, but something still seemed suspicious.

If Ben really had left something there, wouldn’t he have texted Joe about it before we left?

“If you say so.” you smirked.

This left the boys with a puzzled look on their faces. Did you already know what they had planned?

By the time you drove into the driveway, Scarlet was already asleep for her late nap so Ben had no problems switching her from the car seat to his arms. Joe helped you out of your side of the car and his hand quickly interlocked with yours as you both followed not to far behind Ben and the baby.

When everyone went inside, you noticed a suitcase had already been packed and was sitting by the front door. Trying to avoid anymore questions you simply just plopped down on the couch and flicked on one of your favorite tv programs.

“Babe I’m just gonna uh- grab something really quick i’ll be back.” Joe fumbled over his words as he looked to Ben.

He swiftly stammered down the hall and Ben day himself next to you on the couch.

“Any plans for tonight?” he said with an anxious tone to his voice.

“Nothing that I know of. Just another night in.”

Ben was quick to react to your words, a smile plastered across his face just as you said them.

You hadn’t even noticed Joe had come back into the room until you felt his warm touch slide across your arm.

“Love wanna come with me for a drive? I have to run and go pick something up.” he stuttered.

“Where to?”

“Oh it’s nothing just a few errands. Ben can watch the baby right?”

“Oh sure, I don’t see why not.”

You could clearly see right through Ben. He knew something you didn’t.

“Is love to go babe. After all your next project is coming up soon.”

Joe swiped the keys off the counter as you quickly went over to give Scarlet hugs.

“Momma will be back later ok sweetie. We love you.” you said as you kissed her forehead.

Just as you were walking out the door you noticed Joe grab the suitcase that was still sitting by the front door. He not so secretly threw it in the back of the car before helping you into your seat. He swiftly ran around the car and jumped into the driver’s side before handing you the aux cord.

“Anything you want love.” he offered.

“Anything?” you teased, hoping he might have an idea of the song you would pick.

You clicked on your favorite Elton John song The One and a smile lit up across Joe’s face. You always sing this to him when he is feeling down or upset about something because it perfectly describe what Joe is to you.

When stars collide like you and I

No shadows block the sun

You’re all I’ve ever needed

Baby you’re the one

The whole way to this “errand run” was filled with all your favorite artists and songs. The only thing that confused you was when Joe changed one of he songs that came on, Get Down, Make Love by Queen. He never said changes songs from your playlists ESPECIALLY Queen songs because he knows they are one of your favorites.

“Something wrong love?” you asked, your hand soon laying on his. You couldn’t take it anymore, What in the world was going on?

“Joe what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird since we left the tea room today.”

“Nothing. It’s uh- a surprise.”

Just as he said that, you pulled into the most fabulous hotel covered in golden, bright lights and fancy architecture.

“You didn’t.”

“I told you I had something up my sleeve.” he smirked, shooting a sly wink in your direction.

“So I’m guessing that’s what the suitcase is for?” you giggled.

“I may have called someone to pack us a bag.”

“And Ben? Is this why he pulled you aside earlier?”

“He asked if we wanted a day just for us so I called and made some reservations.”

“Well you did a damn good job of hiding it Mazzello. It’s almost like you’re an actor or something.”

You both flooded the car with laughter.

“Almost huh?”

You both got out of the car and Joe grabbed the suitcase out of the back before grabbing your waist to twirl you around.

“A night all to ourselves!” you screamed.

Don’t get me wrong you both love Scarlet with everything you have but it’s been so long since you’ve both had the night alone.

“After you my love.” Joe said, gesturing you inside as he held the door.

His hand never left your side the whole time, constantly keeping his touch to your body known.

“I have a reservation under Mazzello.”

The lady shot you a quick, jealous look before bringing her eyes back to Joe.

“Of course. Top floor.”

“Top floor! Joe I-“ you loudly tried to whisper to Joe.

“Hey. No ruining the surprise before we get up there.”

“What do you mean? I thought this was the surprise?”

“Oh like all I was gonna do was take you to a fancy hotel for the night. Someone has to make up for this morning.” he teased before placing a sweet kiss against your lips.

“What do you mean-“ Then it hit you.

“Oh so that’s what’s going on here. Let’s just say we’re gonna have a fun night then.” you teased right back.

When you walked into the gigantic room, or should you say suite, your mind was blown.

“Joe this is absolutely gorgeous! How did you even find this place?”

“Let’s just say a friend recommended it to me.”

“Ben?”

“Nooooooo.” he said trying not to laugh, but it was pretty obvious by then.

Then you noticed the bed. Boy was that gonna be some fun later. It was blanketed in hundreds of rose petals, all which were making the room smell incredible.

“You’ve really outdone yourself here Joe. You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“I did. You’re my wife and I love every inch of you, you’ll find out just how much later.” he winked, god he drove you absolutely insane.

“Oh will I?”

He nodded before swooping you off your feet and pinning you against the bed.

“Why wait?”

He lifted you up before you grabbed his shirt and threw it off his body. His lips pressed against yours, slowly making their way down to your neck.

“You wouldn’t happen to need this would you?” he said pointing to your shirt.

Your face quick to say no as your hands continued to entangle in Joe’s fluffy red hair. His hands make their way down to your waist when you feel your pants become loose as Joe pulls them off.

“Little eager are we?”

“With all the teasing that happened today? Most definitely.” he said, your hot bodies resting against each other.

Your panties became so wet after that comment, that burning sensation you needed from your husband pounding you against the bed. You went to slide them off before Joe stopped you.

“No No. Those are for me.”

His hands soon met your waist again after trailing their way from your breasts, pulling off your filthy, wet garments. His hand brushing the inside of your thigh, the throbbing from your desperate clit increasing. You pulled him closer, his chest against yours.

“Give me your best Mazzello.”

“Don’t I always.” he smirked before whipping out his long length. 

He gave it a few pumps before brushing it against your folds, pushing into your chamber. He covered your mouth to hide your loud moans, his soon to follow. He slowly pumped himself into you, easing you into your orgasm. Your nails digging deeper into Joe’s back.

“Babe your so tight around me.” Your moans now louder as he increased his speed, rocking the bed against the wall.

“Joe i’m so close.”

“Cum for me baby.”

His words sent you over the edge as you hit the peak of your high, his thrusts slowing to string you along through it. His lips meeting yours as he made his way down to your neck, sucking a purple mark into it. His hands had you pinned to the bed, his length still pumping into your slick folds. You roll over on top of him, guiding him into his orgasm. You loved the way you felt when his cum filled you up. Both of you breathing heavy as you come down from your highs. You throw yourself back down next to him on the bed.

“That was incredible.”

“Let’s never wait this long again.” he smiled.

“Round two?” you begged as your eyes met his.

“As much as I would love to fuck you all night, I had more planned for tonight.” You smiled as your hand brushed his cheek, your lips placing a kiss upon it.

“You’re absolutely perfect. You drive me insane and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” You slowly intertwined your legs with his, your head falling upon his chest as you hear the steady beat of his heart grow quick.

“I don’t know how I ever lived my life without you.” He placed a tender kiss against your scalp.

You pushed yourself off the bed and wandered over to the suitcase that barely made it through the door. Quickly rummaging through it, you found one of your favorite dresses to wear on date night. It was a short cocktail dress that flowed just above the knees and hung off your shoulders, the entire dress then blanketed in a thin lace. Not only was it your favorite, but Joe’s too.

“Such a fancy dress, what’s the occasion?

“You’ll find out.” he smirked before approaching you, twirling you into his arms, his hold on you ever so tight.

You shuffled to the bathroom to throw on your outfit with the strappy heels that were pack for you along with some subtle makeup. You weren’t one to go all out with your makeup but considering how the night was going so far, you wanted to make it special. 

By the time you were done getting ready Joe had already changed into your favorite dress shirt of his with black slacks, your clutch in his hand ready for you to grab.

“After you my love.” he gestured towards the door.

You barely made it out the door before he smacked your ass and you giggled like a little school girl.

“Joseph!”

“What? You’re such a tease little lady! I can’t help myself.”

He ended up taking you to The Grove first so you could pick up a few books that Joe had noticed you had wanted over the past few weeks and then to one of your favorite clothing stores in LA.

“Joe this is too much. I don’t deserve all this.”

“Are you crazy! Not only are you the most incredible human being, but you are the most amazing mother and wife through all of these unfortunate events happening to us lately. I owe you the world love.” His words sent you to tears, your head falling against his chest.

“Joe I-“ he left you speechless, his hand gently rubbing your back as the other played with your hair. His lips fell to yours, falling deeper in love with him by the second.

Dinner was next on his agenda and he took you to the most gorgeous and lavish restaurant in town. You hadn’t even noticed that the paparazzi had been following the two of you around until Joe had to tell them off a couple of times while leaving the place.

Your night ended with a steamy shower session and throwing on some of Joe’s pjs before hoping into bed.

“Today was absolutely incredible babe. Thank you so much.” you pleaded, your head deep into one of the new books Joe had bought you earlier.

He plopped himself into the spot next to you, his arm quickly wrapped around you.

“You deserve it my love. You deserve it all.” He turned to place a kiss against your temple before you met him in the middle, your lips pressing against his, falling deeper by the minute. You could have fell asleep lying against him until your phone vibrated against the side table.

“Joe Mazzello and wife Y/N Mazzello seen without the little one. Are they abandoning their sick baby just for a fun night out on the town?” 

A tear fell from you eyes as Joe sat up from his position on the bed.

“That’s it! We need to tell the world Y/N. I’m sick of everyone bashing us, bashing you, for something that they don’t even know about.”

“I agree. The world needs to know, but how are we supposed to tell them?” Your words calmed him as you both laid back into the heart shaped bed, your head resting against his chest. You could feel the pacing rise and fall of his chest.

“We are going to figure this out Joey. Everything will be ok.”

He looked to you before breaking down, tears slipping from his cheeks. He wasn’t crying from sadness though, it was almost a relief for him. The world needed to find out, and it was going to be soon.

Taglist: 

@onehystericalqueeen @sevenseasofky @queens-n-roses @soberandfurious @toger-raylor @sincereleygmg @mrsmazzello @myfreakydeaky @readdyyfreddie @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @misterbrianmay @heartsarecompatible @ixchel-9275 @benmeadowstaylor @slutfordeacy-mazello @winnielinleigh @everybodyplaythegame @radioxtaylor @deakyspuff @okiegirl24 @imagines-xxx @classypaintercolorcowboy @super-heros-are-my-life @brookecarney1 @florenceivy @rogersradio

Thank you all for being so patient!! I have school testing for the next month so I’ve been slammed. I hope you all enjoyed!❤️ Don't forget that my requests are ALWAYS open!!

[angrylizardjacket]

when i said it i thought it was true [4] {Ben Hardy}

A/N: 2973 words. Listen, I massaged the timeline a little bit, just suspend your disbelief, perhaps it only takes 4 months to be in post production. Also yes I know X-Men didn’t actually film in Egypt, but I didn’t know that at the start of this fic and now I’m sticking with my mistakes because momma didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise a fool.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

“You’re not proposing to me in a sheer shirt.” The moment the makeup team leaves, you turn on Ben, amusement tugging at your lips as you cross your arms, cocking your hip.

“You don’t like it?” He asked, the picture of innocence as he fiddles with the cuff of his jacket. You raise a singular eyebrow. “I think you do like it.” He hummed, a mischievous sparkle in his eye. When you refuse to break eye contact, your silence is answer enough. “I think you like it a lot.” 

It’s been almost a four months since shooting officially wrapped, two since you’d filmed the last of the pick up shots they’d needed, and a full month since you and Ben seen each other in person; you’d been busy with a Netflix series, and Ben had been in talks about a new project, and you’d been messaging every day but seeing each other in person is... well there’s something different. Playful. Easy. Somehow neither of you seem worried about the looming proposal, and are just making up for lost time.

“Love, you’ve gotta take it up with the stylist, not me.” He shrugged, as if helpless, and turned, making his way to the door, knowing without even looking that you’ll be following behind him. He’s chipper, brimming with excitement and looking damn good, and once he gets to the elevator and pushes the button, he offers you his arm while he waits.

“Marry me.” He says it suddenly, watching the numbers of the elevator tick up to your floor. There’s no-one around, and the ring is still in his pocket.

“What?” With a frown, you step into the elevator, and press the button for the lobby, still tucked up against him.

“What if we just show up engaged?” He asks, hand in his pocket where he’s fiddling with the ring box. He’s not nervous, just contemplative.

“And deprive Swarovski of their moment?” You scoffed, and he tipped his head to look at you, eyebrows raised in exasperated amusement.

“I know you hate the ring, ‘too gaudy, too ostentatious by half’, isn’t that what you said?” He snickers after doing as half decent imitation of you. Giving him a shove, you duck your head to hide your embarrassed smile.

“It’s so ‘look at me! Look at me!’” You huff, and he can’t help but laugh at that. The sound of it, in person rather than over Skype, made you feel, for lack of a better phrase, like you were home. Not that there really was a better phrase, you just didn’t want to think about or admit how much you’d missed him.

“Sorry to say, dude, but there’s nothing more ‘look at me! Look at me!’ than a red carpet proposal.” And yeah, okay, maybe he had a point, but that was one night, you had to wear that ring until... they hadn’t told you the DVD release date, but you’re pretty sure it was some time in the New Year. When you bring this up, he just rolls his eyes. “You’re not the one getting down on one knee for a fake proposal; I’m gonna look like an idiot when this is all over.” 

“Well fine, if you’re so worried, I’ll propose.” Instead of dwelling on his words, you step away, holding your hand out expectantly. When he just stares at you, bewildered, you motion for him to hand the ring box over, and he finally cracks a grin, shaking his head.

“If you think I’m gonna be caught dead in that ring you’re wrong.” He spluttered, and you can’t help but laugh at that.

“Fine, I won’t take your first proposal away from you.” You hum with a smile, tucking yourself back against him. He goes very quiet. It takes you a few moments, but you look up at him, brow furrowed. He seems lost in his own thoughts. “It- Ben you’ve never been engaged before, I feel like I’d know if you had been.” Your words snap him out of his trance and he looks at you with wide, bright eyes, and an unconvincing smile.

“Yeah, no, I would have told you by now otherwise.” The silence that falls around you in not a comfortable one, and you’re glad when the elevator comes to a stop. “I got close once, though.” He admits, quietly. You don’t know how to respond to that; you hadn’t considered how much those words would hurt. You want to ask with who, but you already felt an unreasonable rush of jealousy at the thought of someone else stealing his heart enough for him to want to be with them forever. Unreasonable jealousy.

Filming for X-Men started a week ago and he’s only called you once; he’s on a film lot somewhere in Canada and his hair is curly and god he looks cute but the apartment feels so empty. He’s bright eyed and excited. He’s rambling about how busy he is, and he’s still wearing his makeup. The call lasts five minutes; the cast are going out for dinner. You tell him to have fun, but you’re heart’s not in it; he can sense it, and promises to call you tomorrow, before he hangs up.

He doesn’t call, part of you isn’t surprised.

“Marry me.” He asks again, voice low in your ear. The others in the car can’t hear him, but part of you is afraid they might. They don’t technically know it’s not a real relationship, though part of you thinks Gwilym has his doubts, not that he’d ever voice them.

“Not the time.” You shoot him a warning look, and he just slings an arm around you, leaning back in his seat. 

“You’ll regret not letting me be low-key about it.” He warns in return, giving you a blithe smile, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Low-key about what?” Lucy asks, and you elbow Ben in the ribs. He keeps smiling, though his mischievousness slides to something more fond as he actually looks at you.

“About anything.” You say by way of explanation, and though she, along with the rest of the car, still look confused, they don’t push it. There’s reporters everywhere when you get out of the car, and you and Ben are the last ones out.

“Last chance before this becomes a spectacle.” He murmurs when he steps out after you, straightening the back of your dress just a little, and he sounds amused, but there’s something genuine in his voice, and you take a moment to pause, turning back to him. His hands land on your hips, his touch light, and his expression is so familiar it hurts, and you realise he is a little nervous; it’s a very public setting for what should be a very private matter. With cameras going off all around you, you pull him in for a kiss, and he relaxes somewhat, kissing you back with his grip tightening on your hips.

“We’re being paid to be a spectacle.” You remind him, and he nods, smiling softly, and the two of you make your way down the red purple carpet together. You have to stop every few feet to do interviews, and soon enough you had pulled ahead of Ben; he had a much larger part in the film that you did, it wasn’t surprising the reporters wanted to monopolise him. It still felt strange, to turn and not have him there. Sometimes you’d do interviews with the other boys, sometimes he’ll be there, and as the main photo area loomed, you could finally feel the butterflies in your stomach.

Soon.

Perhaps too soon.

“What do you mean you’re going to Egypt?” You snapped, wishing your internet connection was better so he could see you glaring clearly.

“I told you about it ages ago.” Ben sighs, clearly tired. It’s there in his eyes, how drained he is, how hard he’s been working, and your expression softens.

“That’s exciting,” you force yourself to take a breath, it was the first time you two had spoken that fortnight, neither of you needed this to be hostile. The days had started feeling so long when you don’t hear from him; all you want is a damn hug and he’s on the other side of the world. “What if I come visit you?”

“In Egypt?” He asks, eyebrows raised.

“In Egypt.” You confirm, a weak smile on your face, he doesn’t look thrilled by the process.

“Don’t bother.” He sighs, and the moment he sees your expression fall, he realises how his words had sounded, and he’s sitting up straight, panicked look on his face, spluttering his way through an apology. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just busy and it’s going to be hot and-”

“No, I get it.” Your dejected sigh was followed by a yawn, and you hovered over the end call button. “When you’re less tired I think we should talk.” You tell him, and you see the confusion, fear, and resignation pass over his face in quick succession.

He agrees quietly, and neither of you really say goodbye before hanging up.

He was tapping on your shoulder as you were halfway through talking to E! News, and you’ve never been more anxious and excited in your life, and never so thankful to not be at the main photo area on a red carpet. His timing was perfect.

“So sorry, could I borrow Y/N for a minute?” He smiles charmingly at the reporter, and his expression softens when he sees the relief in your eyes. 

Before he even starts, it feels off, feels wrong, feels like a performance for the cameras more than anything else. 

“Don’t get teary on me, I know how hard your makeup artists worked.” He begins, and you make sure the cameras catch your surprised confusion. He’s takes one of your hands in his, linking your finger together, and the other holds your face. There’s a moment that passes between you two, his expression softens as he looks in your eyes and it’s as if he’s looking past everything that had happened, the whole setup you’d found yourself in; he was seeing you. 

“This is probably the biggest night of my life,” he starts, taking a deep breath, “for more than one reason; you’re my best friend, you’ve been there for some of the highest points in my life, and some of the lowest. I know you, Y/N, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life, and I want to. I want you there by my side for the rest of it,” it sounds... so much more planned out than you’d expected, so much more heartfelt, and you’d be damned if there weren’t tears in your eyes. Despite the fact that this very private moment had a huge audience, which included a reporter muttering ‘holy shit, is this what I think it is?’, you could only see him. Damn if it didn’t feel real.

“I love you; I’ve loved your since-” his voice catches in his throat, and you see a hint of pain flash across his face before he’s smiling again, “since I first saw you in that damn wig they put you in,” it sounds like an addendum, like he doesn’t really mean it, or like it’s not the whole truth, but it’s enough to make you laugh, and when you look down to hide your embarrassed smile, your tears fall from your eyes, “since you agreed to all of this,” he gestures to himself with a self-deprecating grin, though his double meaning is not lost on you, though his expression turns serious after a moment, “since I first kissed you on set, though that feels like a long time ago.” Your breath catches in your throat, and he sounds like he hadn’t mean to say that last part, his voice too raw, his heart too honest for it to be a truly fake statement. You can do little more than whisper his name in reverence. Gently, so gently, he lifts your head, his thumb wiping the tear track from your cheek. 

“Marry me?” It’s a question this time, and when you look at him with confusion, disbelief written on your face at the way he chose to word it, he laughs softly, sinking to one knee and pulling out the ring box, and revealing the single most frivolous ring you’d ever had the displeasure of seeing. “Will you marry me?” He corrects softly.

The crowd behind you is going absolutely mad behind you, and cameras are going off at an almost blinding rate, but his eyes don’t leave yours. Nodding, you can’t even form words, so caught up in the moment, and he stands, pulling you into a kiss. The flash of cameras surround you like a sea of stars and Ben’s the only thing keeping you on solid ground. His grip is tight enough that he almost lifts you off the ground, and you’re on your tiptoes with his arms around you before his grip loosens, his hands sliding down the small of your back, and for the first time since this whole fake relationship began, he doesn’t hesitate before he deepens the kiss. He tastes like mint and you’re so glad you’re wearing that twenty-four hour lipstick or you know you’d be a mess, and when you pull back, you’re both out of breath, looking at each other with a something akin to awe in your eyes.

You’re pretty sure, in this moment, you love him; nothing fake about it. And you can see it in his eyes that he loves you too. This is dangerous territory for you both.

Stepping back, he takes your hands again.

“I told you not to cry, love.” He laughs gently, voice so soft as you dab at your eyes with your right hand, watching as he slides the ring onto the ring finger of your left hand.

“What can I say, you have a way with words; how long were you working on that speech.” You sniffle, grinning brightly as you examine the ring, still holding his hand. After a beat too long of silence, you look up to see him smiling softly at you.

“A while.” He admits, and something about the way he says it makes your chest ache. The moment passes and he looks down at your joined hands. “That’s fucking hideous.” He whispers, shaking his head at the sight of the ring, and you giggle, preferring to throw your arms around him, kissing him again.

The two of you are the last two to arrive at the formal photo area, with the logo backdrop, and Joe’s grin is confused where he greets you both at the edge of where everyone was in a line getting a group shot.

“What was all the commotion over there?” He asked quietly, and Ben stepped into position easily, slipping an arm around Joe’s shoulders and pulling you in. You were still beaming, you couldn’t help yourself.

“We got engaged.” Ben murmurs to Joe, careful not to draw attention to them, which was immediately counteracted by Joe’s loud ‘What the fuck?!’ “Calm down, man, we didn’t want to take all the focus off of the premiere, you know?” 

As soon as the big group shot was taken, you stepped off to the side as the four boys had their photos taken, and you could see Joe murmuring to the others, while Ben just smiled for the cameras and tried not to blush.

Photos were taken with Brian and Roger, of Rami and Lucy, and even some of you and Ben, and when you posed, you both had an arm around each other, and you leaned into him, resting your hand on his chest with your ring on clear display.

There’s congratulations all around as you’re heading into the theatre, but the biggest shock of the night comes in the form of Roger Taylor wrapping you up in a hug while you’re still glowing with pride.

“Before we go in, I want you to know you did an incredible job, dear. You’re a stunning performer and I never had any doubts about you.” As he says it, you can feel Ben give your hand a gentle squeeze. You’re pretty sure you’ve got shock written all over your face. “I’m very proud of you both.” He claps Ben on the shoulder, and Ben thanks him quietly. It looks as though he’s about to head in, but he turns back. “Be good to her, you hear?” He says to Ben sternly, but there’s a glimmer of fondness in his eyes, and Ben rolls his eyes good-naturedly. He’s still holding your hand.

“What was that?” You breathed as soon as Roger had left; you feel like you’ve been doused in cold water, though you can’t help but smile.

“Well I think he definitely approves of you playing Amanda.” Ben moves to wrap an arm around you as the two of you head into the theatre, searching for your seats. “And I think... I think he gave us his blessing?” That sounds more confused than anything else, and you don’t know how to respond one way or the other, apart from softly laughing as you sit down next to Lucy. Part of you, the largest part that had stayed sane and not drunk on this fake engagement, is pretty sure Roger’s going to be the hardest to break it to, when everything’s over; part of you worries that without Ben, you’ll lose his approval, which you didn’t realise you’d been craving until you’d received it. There’s an anxiety that builds in your chest as the lights go down, but Ben’s hand is in yours and you lean your head on his shoulder, and you can ignore that little worry for now.

the rat pack: @hotspacedeacon @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @itssaje @d-r-e-a-m-catchme @callumidiot @rockandrollandshit @bohorap @pietrorunsforme @sweetfierceimagines @itsjackothy @mhftrs @sherlockiantheatrenerd @softbenhardy @multifandomgirlrandomstuff @virtualsheepeat @smile-nine @i-padfootblack-things @deaconsroger @spookyfrances @holyurlbatman @your-idiotic-excellency @cosmicsskies @chlobo6 @screaminggalileochickenwrites

(crossed out means it wouldn’t tag; i’ll try again for the next part, lemme know if you wanna be tagged xx)

[johnnymundano]

Class of 1999 (1990)

Directed by Mark L. Lester

Written by C. Courtney Joyner

Story by Mark L. Lester

Music by Michael Hoenig

Country: United States

Language: English

Running Time: 99 minutes

CAST

Bradley Gregg as Cody Culp

Traci Lind as Christie Langford

John P. Ryan as Mr. Hardin

Pam Grier as Miss Connors

Patrick Kilpatrick as Mr. Bryles

Stacy Keach as Dr. Robert "Bob" Forest

Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Miles Langford

Darren E. Burrows as Sonny

Joshua John Miller as Angel

Sharon Wyatt as Janice Culp

James Medina as Hector

Jason Oliver as Curt

Brent David Fraser as Flavio

Jill Gatsby as Dawn

Sean Hagerty as Reedy

And Rose McGowan as girl briefly glimpsed sat in a chair

Class of 1999 is one of those movies which were once set in the future but are now set in the past, which is always funny. It must certainly have tickled director Mark L. Lester since this is his second such movie, the first being Class of 1984 (1982). The intellectuals out there will have noticed both movies are also set in schools. Judging by the content of them I think we can infer Mark L. Lester has strong emotions about his schooldays. Negative emotions. Back in 1982 in the UK Class of 1984 upset a lot of people who decided what we could watch, and so it was not passed as uncut until 2005. Unfortunately by then I was busy self-destructing and by the time I surfaced as a functional human being DVD was passé, alas. I’m waiting for the Blu-Ray now so I still haven’t seen it, basically; but I will, I will. That cinematic bad boy sure sounds a lot harder and nastier than Class of 1999, which is the kind of goofy pulp schlock that video store chains were built on. “The year is 1999 and school’s out – FOREVER!” the tag line doesn’t run (but totally should, in howling electric lime green if possible).

Teens! Little shits! Always a problem, but particularly so in the ‘80s when feral gangs ran wild and committed heinous crimes, in fact just like they had since the teenager was invented (the 1920s) but sometimes it’s politically expedient for reactionary assholes to pretend it’s a new problem, and the ‘80s was particularly rich in reactionary assholes. So we were constantly being told that the kids weren’t alright. Movies like Class of 1984 probably helped feed the fires of hysteria and Class of 1999 seems like a kind of belated atonement for this. This time Lester seems to be mocking the ridiculous reactionary horseshit which turns troubled youth into a patsy for political and financial gain, and all the ridiculous reactionary bullshit solutions proposed which never actually address the root causes (because that would require thought, money and time) and hence do nothing to ameliorate the problem, but always end up making someone rich (usually , spookily enough, the someone sponsoring the reactionary assholes involved). You know, the kind of Twinkie® head who thinks the solution to school shootings is arming teachers. Shit, just cut straight to arming the kids as well and whoever walks out at home time wins. Televise it, monetise it, get some revenue streams going. Don’t piss about, people!

Class of 1999 certainly doesn’t piss about. By 1999, every reactionary asshole’s wet dream has come true;  all across America youth gangs with bandannas and guns have established free fire zones, where the police fear to tread and schools have begun shutting down. Obviously the problem must be the bandannas as it can’t be the guns, because what your latte drinking, book reading, cat grooming “Leftee” never gets is that no problem in America is ever down to guns; not even when it involve guns; especially not when removing guns would remove the problem. Because of the easy access to bandannas things are in such a state that the Department of Education is now the Department of Education and Defence (DED; geddit?). This rebranding allows for some real blue-skying and results in a joint project with MegaTech to take back the schools by piloting the introduction of android teachers. Mega-Tech, like any responsible corporation that probably doesn’t pay its taxes, decides to cut corners and use three military androids gathering dust due to the early end of a recent war. Things escalate quickly, and lessons are learned about simple solutions to complex problems and the evil fruits of a society which treats its kids as monsters and where bandannas are legal.

Miles Langford (Malcolm McDowell), the new principal at Seattle’s’ Kennedy High School, agrees to the use of his school for the initial introduction of the android educators. Langford is clearly a “progressive” (spit!) who wants the best for the kids (or “scum” to real, decent, working people) but is undone by his ambition; it’s a strangely nuanced performance in a remarkably (and deliberately) nuance free movie, but that’s the magic of Malcolm McDowell. Stacy Keach as MegaTech’s Dr Bob Forrest (Stacy Keach) doesn’t need nuance as he has decided to play his role in a white wig and white contacts, as an albino corporate asshole who remains perpetually unruffled no matter how bad things get. “The teachers are making hats out of the pupil’s internal organs.” a tech-head (probably a liberal who owns a book) might exclaim, only to have Dr Bob say “Wait, let’s see how things develop.” as he eats a banana. I’m not convinced Keach can actually see out of his white contact lenses but who gives a shit, it’s Stacy Keach! (The last time I saw Stacy Keach onscreen he was singing Elvis at a karaoke bar in Alexander Payne’s delightful Nebraska (2013). Stacy Keach, people!)

Dr Bob’s three androids are Mr. Hardin (John P. Ryan) for History, Ms Connors (Pam Grier) for Science and Mr. Bryles (Patrick Kilpatrick) for P.E. (and probably Geography; P.E. teachers always have to do Geography as well, in my experience; P.E. not actually being a real subject). Anyone who has wasted their eyes on the quirkier side of movies will already be excited by that list. John P. Ryan, whose jaw-popping performance in Runaway Train (1985) earned him a place in Movie Valhalla, is full-on here as a history teacher who prefers strategy to strangling but will strangle if pushed. Pam Grier should need no introduction and, despite returning to the screen here after illness, she is as lively a screen presence as ever, memorably taking an axe to the chest like it’s a gnat bouncing off her. And Patrick Kilpatrick’s name might not be known to you but he has probably died at the hands of your favourite ‘80s/’90s action star, probably as revenge for being a better actor than any of them. Basically, these three ‘droids rock. As does Bradley Gregg as Cody Culp, the youthful ex-gangbanger recently released from pokey who is caught between the gangs and the teachers like a pretzel in a car crusher. Gregg acts like he’s in a serious movie and his earnest solidity helps stop the comic book ridiculousness swamping everything. Which is no mean feat in a movie where an albino Stacy Keach eats a banana.

Obviously I was taken by the banana bit, but a lot more stuff happens in Class of 1999 than albino potassium ingestion. Unfortunately quite a lot of it involves the rival gangs who are not the most interesting part of the movie. But they do fight a lot so there is that. In fact they fight more than usual as the robo-teachers niftily set them against each other, before the kids “wise up” and take on the real enemy in a night time school siege, which swiftly descends into a slaughtertastic game of cat and mouse, or android and pupil, if you will. Despite its limitations, in 2018 Class of 1999 remains a fun film for teens, fans of films that mock reactionary assholes, people who wish The Terminator (1984) was set in a school, and, crucially, P.E. teachers who wish they could use a flamethrower on that kid who took the piss out of them for teaching Geography.

[goldenkiva]

unfiltered rambling (this is a (long) vent post; cw for some irl death mentions, sui and self harm mention (nothing in reality), bad mental health time, all that jazz

well it’s 7:30 am and ive been awake since 4 am. which is an improvement really. i slept at 12:30am ish, in contrast to constantly sleeping at 8 am or later the past month or so. and it’s been taking a very bad toll on me lately mentally. everything has been building up and probably toyin’s death (yes the one who was found dead, we were classmates in middle/high school...) was my breaking point as i had a very bad panic attack a few days after. that lasted a good 22 hours before i fully calmed down. it always takes me 5-9 hours to calm down from anxiety or trauma related bad times as i have no real coping mechanisms and i will just literally do nothing but stay huddled up in bed until the unbearable feeling goes away. but that one. was just really bad. i think i also accidentally upset one of my best friends before that which also attributed to it (we’re fine now.) it’s been a bit since i had that panic attack but i still feel so bad all the time. sometimes i joke about wataru giving me chest pain bc i love him so much but i feel like i havent experienced physical emotion in so long i just want to feel it even if it’s painful. i dont self harm so dw about that btw. but i rarely shed even a single tear anymore when ive always been a total cry baby. i only cry full on tears and sobs now when im being over stimulated during a conversation. i just genuinely want to feel physically excited or happy or sad or whatever. i want to feel physical emotion again and not just numbness with an occasional laff or on the verge of getting watery eyes but not even real crying or whatever. 

i also had to get a new phone bc my dumb clumsy self dropped my phone flat on the screen a second time and it was unrepairable which makes me sad bc i only had this phone for two years and it still ran perfectly well. i wanted to keep it for 3-4 years at least...i got a new one ordered yesterday and im splitting price with my dad n i just feel bad i had to get a new one at all bc because of covid and shit my parents are only getting half the usual business and we already dont make a ton. thankfully my parents and sister are the type to not spend recklessly in general (i am prob the biggest spender...) but that wont stop my dumb of ass generalized anxiety disorder from making me worry about bankruptcy or poverty or some other extreme. i hate it bc i cant do anything about these thoughts except just what feels like sitting in mud and i slowly sink in. i wish i was an artist with more clout because i desperately want to be have consistent (or any) income. even before covid i always feel bad about not having a job. ik it’s hard to balance school and work anyway so it’s fine if im not working but it sucks. american college is a scam. at least i didnt go to an art school. (well. i am in art program in college. but not going to an arts dedicated school like ringling. which is significantly more expensive. if i went to art school id be significantly more likely to end up in very heavy debt) but i hate having gad. i hate not having any real coping mechanisms. i feel frustrated and a little annoyed when i asked about coping mechanisms for my anxiety with my therapist she just told me breathing exercises. which ig can be valuable but ik in my heart this wont help me at all. perhaps it’s un-dx’d adhd with rsd making me feel that way that makes me refuse to even want to do them. all my medical and health issues are also a contribution to my gad and financial terrors. sometimes it makes me wanna die but i wont do that. bc my friends and family would genuinely be very heartbroken if i were to suddenly be gone especially if by my own hand. i wouldnt want anyone to blame themselves either...

the only things genuinely making me feel anything lately is wataru and buck tick. it almost makes me a little upset how little amount of things make me happy or even feel anything rn. im reading a tragedy visual novel rn (which is very good and well written and i generally like tragedies and i find them indulgent) that i am enjoying very much yet i feel barley anything while reading it. i immensely miss the buck tick concert streams so bad. watching them over the month and half they streamed every saturday morning really put how much they love making music and performing in a brand new light to me, and watching that last concert bestias locus solus was just. so amazing. i dont know how to talk about it other than i was genuinely touched. they went all out playing at that concert stage bc it was their first time performing there (at the time in their 31 year career, 33 this year) and the unplugged performances and sakura especially got me so hard. im not good with words so im not doing a good job at all expressing how much that concert (along with the day in question 2017) made me feel. i miss it. i want to buy the dvds so bad but theyre so expensive and now is not a time for reckless spending. but one day i will attain them and experience the happiness they bring me again. im sad my friends arent rly into them the same degree i am but ig it really is such a personalized feeling. i was already in a state of dread and depression when i got into the band. but im still glad my other friends enjoy them and tell me they enjoy their music. their stuff slaps. theyre just an amazing band. a band not restricted by genre. a band who makes music because they love it and love performing and love their fans and dont get warped in the ideas of fame or fortune, and are fully okay with being normal people...a band with the same line up since their pro debut in 1989 because the members all love and care about each other so much. theyre still going strong in their mid to late 50s as they were in their late teens. they make me so happy...

well it’s 8 am now and if youve read this whole thing, thanks i guess? that sounds rude, but im just kinda sittin in the mud. im still in the midst of cleaning my room. i am not someone to recklessly hurt myself or anything like that so dont worry about that. i’ll be fine. probably. if you wanna listen to buck tick heres their spotify :) i recommend their albums atom miraiha no. 09, no.0 (especially the live performance version), kuratta taiyo, darker than darkness style 1993, aku no hana, and their kemonotachi no yoru/rondo double single. they slap so good. also spotify is missing literally like 15 years worth of their music from the 00s-10s. you can find downloads online though. theyre also releasing a new single in august im very excited for it. also, the singer of the band (atsushi sakurai) did a collab with sheena ringo where he sung the bg vocals of her song elopers, which was also made in sakurai’s image and she got it really dead set on tbqh. sheena ringo loves bt so yall should too :)

[himitsusentaiblog]

Hello I finished watching all of kakuranger and that was definitely worth it i really had a blast with the team tsuruhime and jiriya are definitely my favorites abd the monsters loved the idea of yokai updating to then current times makes me wish that was revisited in another sentai group. Also was cool to see what Japan looked like during that time from the clothes and everything especially when I was little kid around that time. One thing that struck me was how much the 1 pr movie took from it

(continued from above in another ask)  All in all thank you for introducing me to the the series im definitely going to pick us the other dvds now.

You are so welcome!

Everything you mentioned above are reasons why

Ninja Sentai Kakuranger

is still my favorite Sentai series. The team has such extreme personalities and differing outlooks which makes Tsuruhime’s job as the leader in all but color akin to herding cats.  She is still my favorite Sentai heroine of all time as well, especially with her meaty backstory and Father issues.

She is also the focus of one of my favorite episodes.

Jiraiya though gets the absolute best fight scene in the conflict with his former teacher (played by Kane Kosugi’s real life Father, Sho Kosugi) in what may be the most seriously dramatic episode of the entire show.

The villains were also so memorable, especially Gashadokuro and the Flowery Ninja Team.

Oh, if you want modern takes on the Youkai, Shuriken Sentai Ninninger started out in a somewhat similar vein with the Youkai possessing modern objects to give them bodies.  For example the Yuki-Onna snow woman used a shaved ice maker as the basis for her body. I wouldn’t say it’s even close to being as good of a series, but you might want to check it out.

Finally, you hit something I love about the older shows and that’s the way it provides a look back on the way Japan was in the past.  Every one of the shows from the 70s, 80s and 90s is like a time capsule of a particular era.  It’s been said you can tell a lot about how a society sees itself from what they show in their entertainment and I just love getting a peek into the fashions and attitudes of Japan in the recent past.  Plus, the Kakurangers are so ‘90s fashionable it almost hurts!

I can honestly watch just about any episode of Kakuranger and love it.  It’s just a perfect combination for me of a good, funny, well-written show and a certain nostalgia for the period in my life when I first saw it.  I was honestly super-excited when I found out it was getting a release on DVD in the US.  Even with its faults (and it has a few) I love this show and that’s never going to change!

[nanalikessurveys]

Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet? No, i’m so unfortunate haha Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? Not really lol Do you use Google? Yes, everyday Would you like to go swimming right now? No, not right now Can you play electric guitar? I can’t

Do you have an HDTV? I’m not sure lol, it’s just a TV to me When was the last time you drank something through a straw? I have no idea, i usually don’t use a straw Have you ever tried to teach yourself a different language? Not really How long was your last phone call? About 2 mins which is long for me haha

Do you need to repaint your nails? I don’t have them painted and i don’t feel like doing it now Has there ever been a horoscope that came true for you? I don’t read horoscopes Are you a fan of industrial metal? No, i don’t like metal music Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Yeah sometimes

Do you have a wall calendar? I don’t 

Have you ever taken the pictures from a calendar and used them as posters? Nope Can you handle the cold? Better than the heat for sure, i love cold weather Have you ever been to Canada? No Do you believe in superstitions? Not really When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere? When i went to the vet with my cat, i don’t own a car i don’t feel comfortable going to the bus with my cat lol Would you ever join the army, airforce or navy? I wouldn’t How old is the person you last kissed? 25 Is there a friend that you can always rely on to get you out of a jam? I hope so :( What was the most embarassing thing you’ve had to buy? I still get a bit embarrassed buying pads. and also underwear when there’s a guy cashier LOL i’m so stupid Have you ever tried to balance the light switch between off and on? Haha yep Do you believe in ghosts / supernatural occurences? No, i never had any experience with them luckily Have you ever mistaken a person’s gender? I’m sure but they never knew about it What was the most expensive thing you’ve broken? My phone Has anyone texted you yet today? Yes Did you stay calm during the whole swine flu scare? I think i did, but i remember getting the shots in school and being scared af Is there a light on in the room you’re currently in? Yes Are your feet touching the floor? My left foot is Have you ever been in a car accident? No, luckily Do you usually make back-up plans? Yep Can you focus well in high-stress situations? NO, definitely no Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? They’re pretty long and i love them, if they were darker i would never wear mascara again Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? I don’t listen to music when i’m angry Are you one of those people who keep their feelings bottled up? Yeah Is one of your friends extremely odd but you love them regardless? She’s weird in the nicest way possible Is there anyone you dread going into public with? No Are you a victim of writing run-on sentences? I have no idea what that means Graffiti: an art or an act of vandalism? There’s amazing ones and then the stupid ones lol. like there’s factor area near my neighborhood with AMAZING looking graffitis on the walls, they looks so nice Do you buy things online? Sometimes, i did order bunch of underwear couple days ago lol Are you easily frightened? I’m afraid of lot of things but i don’t get jumpy? like jumpscares are lame hahah Do you have a favorite model? Gigi and Bella Hadid are gorgeous. Also Gaspard Ulliel is the definition of perfect tbh Have you ever watched Titanic? Yep What’s your current facebook display picture of? I’m not on facebook, seriously every survey assumes i am lol How about your IM display picture? It’s of me Is there anyone whose hair you envy? My therapist’s lmao, she has long, blonde and silky hair Would you act in a movie if it offered a role? No, i was like 7 years old when i attended this movie camp where we made bunch of short movies and then we watched them in the end of the camp and I CRINGED SO FUCKING HARD AT MYSELF LMAO like i was so bad and i haven’t gotten any better since then Does speaking in front of people make you nervous? YES, school presentations are the worst. literally everytime in grade school i had one there was this one motherfucker who just had to yell something about me having to speak up Can you read in a moving vehicle or does it make you sick? I don’t read in vehicles because of that reason Have you ever dated someone who was extremely shy? Not really, i wouldn’t have called him shy Or have you dated someone who took things too fast? Mmm yes Does the idea of driving 220 mph sound exciting to you? Nope Everyone has a weakness, what’s yours? Good dancers, lol Do you or anyone you know have an account on Deviantart? I don’t and i don’t think anyone i know has one Thoughts on the Dunkin Donut commercial that says “America runs on Dunkin’”? I don’t know that commercial Do you bother buying movies on DVD anymore or do you just download them? I buy movies on DVD still, yes Do you listen to Daughtry? No Do you get your eyebrows waxed? No, i pluck them

How do you take your coffee? With milk If you have a dog, what breed is it? I don’t Have you found someone who makes you unconditionally happy? I guess so Do you have a friend who always seems to be dying their hair? She has dyed her hair in the past couple times, but now she just has her natural color Would you swap names with a friend? Sure, but i’m happy with mine Do you plan on going to university? I don’t think so Guys who wear muscle shirts, yes or no? I had to google this and i got two different kinds of results, so i have no idea which muscle shirt are you talking about. anyway you can wear whatever you want pretty much Are you a fan of Carrie Underwood? I know about her but not any of her songs, so no Do you make playlists on iTunes? I don’t use iTunes Have you ever forgotten someone’s birthday? My friend’s birthday this year and i felt SO FUCKING BAD Are you scared of being left behind? Yes Do you remember your last dream? No. i never do Do you know someone who is an obsessed Star Wars fan? No one obsessed 

Is politics something you don’t care about? I don’t care about it that much, no What’s a movie/tvshow/book/series that is way overrated? I can’t think of any Do you think Barbie presents an unhealthy image to young girls? It’s not a realistic looking doll but does it really have to, it’s just a toy Is there a pet that you desperately want? Not anymore, i have two lovely cats Would you ever get your bellybutton pierced? I already did Are you musically talented? No Have you ever shot a gun? No Do you have a friend that always changes their mind last second? No Are you not afraid to voice your opinion? Yep, that’s me Are you one of those people who are always pushing their limits? Not really lol Is there a word that you will always find humorous? A lot of finnish words

Do you frown upon immature people? Idk Have you ever slipped on ice and hurt yourself? I have slipped many times but never hurt myself badly Do you try to have an intimidating impression? I guess, try is the key word tho Living in the big city or chilling in the country? City No one seems to obey the legal drinking age, do they? Haha no Do you like your country’s flag? Yeah i like the color combination. other than that it’s kinda meh Have you ever made a totally amazing snow fort? Not an amazing one Do you use Bounty Paper Towels? I don’t know them, are they like coconut scented lmao Are you the one usually behind the camera or the one in the picture? Behind If you get married, will you have a traditional wedding? Sure Do you feel you’re slowly losing one of your friends? Tbh it kinda feels like that now If you draw, what’s one thing you always have trouble with? Just everything Is there someone you know moving away any time soon? Probably my sister, but she’s not so sure yet Allergic to anything? Penicillin How many cars have you owned? Zero What are you going to do after this? Going to brush my teeth and wash my face and go to bed

[monstaxeurope]

LIVIN’ IT UP Interview

LIVIN’ IT UP Interview

Q: On September 12th, Monsta X's 4th single "LIVIN' IT UP" was released. You went to Tower Records on 13th, how was the shop's front?

IM: Every time, there are big photos of us, many CDs are displayed and fans come there. No matter how many times we see it, it's a new sensation.

Q: This time, both recorded songs are original Japanese songs. Let's start the talk from the title track, "LIVIN' IT UP".

JH: So far, we've released hard-sounding songs in Japan, but the new song "LIVIN' IT UP" shows a slightly different image. KH: Yeah, it has a bit funky vibe. MH: My vocal part sounds a bit like a rap, it was fun. Also, there's this moment on track when the microwave-like "chin" sound comes (laugh).

Q: Dance is featured in the MV, but what's the performance's [most important] point?

KH: Jooheon's and IM's rap part before the last hook is the most exciting both music and performance-wise.

MH: I also want you to notice mine and Shownu's "coloured-like stimulating spice" pair-dance. We've had many opportunities to do pair-dances together, for example in "From Zero" and "Hero" intro, so it somehow, fits nicely.

Q: Since "LIVIN' IT UP" seems to show the "happy time" brought by music, what do you do when you have your private "happy time"?

JH: Recently, I've made a new working place with a recording booth. When I go into the booth, I always struggle with rap, but I'm happy when I get the flow I wanted. For me it's the happiest time. IM: I'm the same as Jooheon, when I make songs in a studio. At the moment I'm working on a future bass, catchy song. WH: For me... HW: Muscle training! WH: Not at all! For me it's the time when I make songs too. I get a lot of inspiration from everyday situations. Like watching a movie, reading a book, watching people at their work. Currently I'm working on bright and cute songs which current Monsta X doesn't usually do, but I guess you'll be able to hear it soon? MH: For me it's the time when I draw. Recently I take pictures and draw over them. I think drawing on a smartcase is nice too. This summer, Kihyun held his photos' exhibition, and earlier we had an exhibition together. And recently I felt like drawing again. SN: In private time, I watch animations. I watch a lot of Japanese animations too. At work, [my happy time is] when we work very hard to be able to release new songs. And when I see fans are happy with them. KH: I'm busy every day, but I enjoy the time when I go back to the dorms, take a shower and watch dramas before going to bed. I often watch Marvel's movies. HW: I don't stay at home, I like watching movies in cinemas. Watching movies by yourself is really funny. I went to a cinema before coming to Japan, I watched "search". I don't know how many movies I watch per year, but whenever I have time I go to a cinema. IM: He goes to watch all movies immediately as they come out.

Q: Hyungwon played at a big festival ULTRA KOREA 2018 as DJ H.ONE, is DJing your happy time too?

HW: It is. It's a different kind of fun than with MONSTA X's schedules. IM: Yeah, I went to see him with Shownu, and it seemed like he had more fun than with MONSTA X (laugh). The performance went well too. HW: I don't have time to practice thoroughly, but I often watch Skee for practice.

Q: The second song is "BLACK SWAN". What song is this?

HW: It's a bit heavier and harder than "LIVIN' IT UP". I think the contrast between them is interesting?

WH: The part when guitar comes is cool, isn't it.

IM: I'd like you to listen to my voice at "BLACK SWAN"'s outro! When recording,I adlibed "How is this feeling?" and I think it turned out cool.

WH: I was more familiar with Japanese than for previous songs, so I finished my recordings for both songs in a blink of eye.

Q: Wonho studied Japanese very eagerly, didn't he.

WH: I'm still learning. I have a smartphone application "Today's Japanese". IM: Really, he studies all the time.

Q: On October 3rd, a DVD from your first Japanese tour "MONSTA X , JAPAN 1st LIVE TOUR 2018" comes out. What memories do you have from that tour?

WH: It's very memorable because it was a great-scale tour. The concept of "PUZZLE" and taking photos of drawing hearts were nice, it was really enjoyable. JH: Yeah, the title was "PIECE", so we made hearts like you assemble PUZZLE from pieces, it was nice. KH: But at first I was really surprised, like "What's that?" (laugh). IM: Hearts were nice, I was also happy we could make a connection with fans while being live.

Q: Is there any part on the DVD you want to be noticed?

MH: During my "shining bright" part in "SPOLIGHT", a close up on my face is shown on a screen, but it's cool (laugh). I didn't notice it in production, but I checked the DVD and noticed.

IM: That, that! (turns toward Hyungwon and shows) HW: Ah~ During "Because of you", there's a moment where I look over my shoulder and do a cute pose. Please check that out.

Q: In October, 2018 MONSTA X WORLD TOUR "THE CONNECT" IN JAPAN will happen. It's a Japanese part of the world tour, and the tour's hot topic was the unit stages.

MH: Through those stages you can see members' old and new charms. KH: Yeah, they're only shown at concerts. I'm in a team with Minhyuk and Wonho and we sing a song produced by Wonho. The song hasn't been published yet, so you can hear it only at lives. That's a point too. MH: Even though I'm 24, I wore an uniform like a high school senior, and sang it. KH: Yeah, that's not something you can usually see from MONSTA X (laugh). We always show hard performances, and for unit stage we perform something very different. I hope you enjoy this change. JH: I guess the unit stage by these 3 people will be the most enjoyed by Japanese fans? IM: You need to prepare your hearts. It's exciting and your heart may melt.

Q: The unit of Shownu and Jooheon?

KH: Jooheon, who always raps, sings at this one! And the dance part is amazing! JH: When performing with Shownu, I feel happy that I got in a group with him. I once again thought, that after all, Shownu is in MONSTA X and all members are amazing.

Q: The unit of Hyungwon and IM?

IM: We're... HW: Sexy! IM: Yeah, it's the first unit for two of us. That's why it's fresh. Fresh and sexy.

Q: It's a continuation of the world tour, so I think there's more to see than only unit stages; please tell me what else is worth seeing.

JH: You can't miss the VTR. For "DESTROYER", the stage and the VTR are connected, so only people who attend the concert will know the story.

Q: This time, the concert will be focused on Korean songs, but it won't be the same as the world tour.

IM: People who attended the tour in Korea or worldwide may find the feeling similar, but it won't be the same, some parts will change. We think about introducing some minor changes. KH: The details are still secret (laugh). MH: Japanese song... KH: No! It's a secret!

Q: Osaka-jo Hall is the biggest capacity venue for Monsta X's solo concert in Japan. It's huge~

KH: We're really looking forward to it. We're thankful thank we can play a concert in such a big venue. MH: We hope to perform in even bigger place in the future!

Q: What should Monbebe prepare?

IM: First of all, don't forget your penlights. To not lose consciousness during the fun, don't forget to stay hydrated. Bring water. WH: To not have sore feet from jumping and bouncing, it's better to avoid high heels and heavy boots. Please bring the love towards MONSTA X. HW: You may cry, so don't forget tissues too!

TRANS JPN-Eng: Monsta X Europe

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