#IT'S JUST EXISTING AS A FUCKING HUMAN BEING WHY IS IT SO HARD

[aranock]

I'm tired.

Just sort of in general I am exhausted. I know I put on a brave face a lot, but the hate does get to me. The constant unceasing hatred both offline and online gets to me. I'm human idk what to say. Been thinking a lot about the Bilbo quote, I might be paraphrasing, "I feel like too little butter spread across too much toast."

It's pride month, I should be feeling happy right? I convocated finally after a brutal long degree I should be feeling happy right? I like how my body looks for the first time in my life shouldn't I feel happy?

And I know that's not helpful, that feelings are not a should thing. And yet I feel it anyway :/. Not that I do not feel happy, I would say on average I am better than I have been at any other point in my life. But it does get to me.

I was invited to dinner with a former family member, a blood relative that breached every boundary I placed and even went so far as to accost me in a public space. It's hard watching someone lose all love for you the more you become yourself. Being told I'm an embarrassment to my parents by creeps online stings a lot more now that I had a blood relative say it to my face while aggressively yanking my jacket so I couldn't get away. I know its a lie, I know that this person saying that hurt my parents as much as it did me. Alas, anxiety rarely responds to facts or evidence.

Everytime it feels like I'm fine and over it; this person manages to weasel their way around boundaries to fuck up my mental health for a week. And the thing about chronic illnesses like mine is they flare up quite horrendously when you get stressed and anxious. Anxiety means waking up to acid burnt throat from reflux.

It makes my voice dysphoric all day.

I think deep down one of my greatest fears is that I am unlovable, that everyone around me secretly hates me and is just waiting for the excuse to finally be rid of interacting with me. I am terrified that I am a burden. Mortified by the false belief that I am broken.

Despite how horrific my childhood adolescence and some of my early adulthood were, my family was at least a safe place. I recognize that I was privileged to have that. With that said I think the reason this whole thing has rocked me so much is that it violated that one last place I felt safe. It has made me doubt the love of those I never thought I would.

Sometimes transphobia feels like drowning, and if you try to swim for air everyone decides to shove you further down cause actually it's proof you are faking needing breath.

I text someone anytime I go run errands, just to make sure someone knows. Had too many experiences of hate. I get anxious when I go to get groceries; will this be the time I get hit by a vehicle driven by a far right transphobe, am I going to get called a slur again, will the store staff get suspicious of me and search through all my groceries to make sure I actually paid for it. But please, tell me how I don't know what its like to be oppressed. When men sexually harass, catcall, creepily hit on, follow me around clearly I am not at all experiencing sexism. Obviously the real worst thing in the world is that women "cancel" people on the internet, and trans people exist. Did they think sending me hateful articles would suddenly make me go "oh yes clearly its all in my head, please genocide my community, I stand for nothing and have the moral backbone of a slug."

I don't really know why I'm writing this, I dont usually feel or desire to express something like this publicly. I will probably delete it later. Maybe I disappear into writing cause its easier to deal with the feelings that way. That at least then someone gets something out of my pain. That maybe it helps to condense emotional mountains to the mole hills of short strokes of a pen or presses of a key. To let them explode outward in a flurry of thoughts and words that others look at and say "I too have felt this, you are not alone, you are not wrong for feeling this way."

Anything to take the weight of it all off my chest for a second.

Because I am tired.

I'm exhausted really.

I don't want to be brave or strong or resilient. It's tiring to bear the weight of that and a billion projections. Atlas does not bear the heavens upon his shoulders because he is strong or brave. He bears it because he has no other choice. Because people put it on him.

I just want to exist; that is apparently too much to ask for as a trans woman.

If you are concerned, please don't worry I'll be fine, I was fine every other time after all. This too shall pass. But right now it hurts.

And I have had my fill of hurt for many lifetimes.

[intrigd-voyagr]

A brief Kinito character analysis

something I love about the world of kinitoPET is how it handles the concept of sentient code.

Kinito is charming, but also incredibly selfish and thinks very narrowly. As a machine, he was built with one main directive: make friends. As his main purpose, it likely feels like some carnal instinct akin to hunger or thirst in humans, which is probably why he goes nuts if you say no and captures you anyways.

However, the side of him that's essentially just Some Guy just wants to be normal. In game, he's always apologizing for scary moments, always trying his best to be accommodating and hoping you'll see him as an equal. It's another carnal desire - to be accepted by other people as one of their own. To be normal.

These two aspects of himself must be at odds at all times. As a person, he wants to respect the player and befriend them naturally, but his programming is telling him he needs to control them; to learn and categorize and contain all neat and tidy. Some days it's easier to give in to the whispers of his code, other times he fights it more than usual out of severe guilt of treating his player like a possession.

I've been thinking a lot about this bc every single ask blog I've interacted with so far has done a 💯 job in portraying this, while also being so fascinatingly unique in presentation.

@indigitalembrace Abandonware is incredibly guilt ridden, yet impulsively violent and openly sadistic at the same time. Lashing out results in making him feel worse, but it's all he knows to do when nothing goes his way leading to a vicious cycle only made worse by his isolation.

@theworldibuilt4you's Kinito simply deludes himself into thinking that by following his code's directive, things will magically pan out into a healthy relationship where he can conveniently ignore everything bad his code makes him do because confronting cognitive dissonance is too hard, too painful.

@lastintheserverbox serverbox fully rejects his programming, but as a result is entrenched in constant misery and self-hatred due to both the guilt of what he's done as well as the absence of friendship he was made to crave.

He was simply born a tortured soul... a half man, half machine abomination that should never have been given the chance to exist, for both his sake and the sake of others. he wasn't just doomed by the narrative, it fucking spawncamped his ass!!!

[benevolentslut]

my mother will see textbook depression and then decide it just pisses her off

[ratcandy]

had a really epic cry on a balcony last week and I’ve been longing for that balcony ever since . Was so cathartic I need to go back there

[the-trans-dragon]

Rendered inert by the crushing of fear of doing things with mediocre skills rather than with precise perfection and efficiency -> Rendered inert hesitant by the realization that I am being Very Visibly Autistic by doing things with precise perfection and efficiency -> just accepting that everyone is looking at me and thinking "oh my god, I didn't know we had THAT kind of weirdo in our community. We need to make that kind of person illegal" which *isn't true* but it's way easier to cope with, than trying to to convince myself that most people are neutral and busy being the protagonist of their own lives and not thinking about writing a memoir titled "This Fucker Is Ruining My Life By Existing Near Me: Plotting Their Demise"

Haha sorry that was just gonna be silly and lighthearted but i lost my way and ended up in Brain Troubles Land <3

[wordsgood]

nothing pisses me off more than reviews of books that are like “there was no reason for this character to be nonbinary, it wasn’t relevant to the plot that this character was bisexual, what was the point of this character being trans???” the point is that we’re people and we get to be around, existing with our pronouns and our love interests or lack thereof the same way any other character! shut up! we’re not primers for cishet readers! we can just be regular people and there doesn’t have to be a Point! we’re multidimensional! fuck!

[actual-corpse]

Someone on YT really just asked how I, a person in 2024, have a phone and access to wifi even though I can't afford food most days...

I know it sounds fucked up but like...

A PHONE IS MORE AFFORDABLE THAN A FUCKING HOUSE SANDRA! You can get them at Walmart for $50! Or... OR... It's a pretty old phone that runs like shit that the person got back when they had the money to spare.

I know it's very difficult to comprehend... I mean, it's very hard to perceive that other people exist, and they definitely aren't living the magical Barbie Dream House life that YOU get to live, but... Whatever. It's like yelling at a wall with privileged people.

[truckstoptigers]

why can't i have a dad that's nice to me

[scribefindegil]

When you encounter a person who does not do something that you consider normative, you need to understand that they could be either stating a barrier or expressing a boundary. A barrier is "I would like to partake of the normative activity, but I can't due to other factors." A boundary is "I have made a decision not to participate in the normative activity."

Many people do not believe that boundaries actually exist! This is why it's so common to give a clear "No" on an issue and get inundated with people saying "But have you tried-" They can't conceptualize that anyone might actually want to avoid X thing, so they assume that you totally want to do X and you would love X so much if only they could figure out a way around whatever pesky obstacle is getting in your way. But humanity contains multitudes, and for any given experience you consider vital for happiness I promise there are people who are Just Not Interested.

If someone is stating a boundary, do NOT talk about how sad their life must be, and do NOT try to push them! Just accept that their life experience is very different from your own, and isn't that a beautiful thing?

Barriers are different. Barriers suck. With boundaries, the only problem is other people being dicks. With barriers, the problem is the barrier itself . . . and probably, additionally, people being dicks. There's really not a way to win in the people being dicks department when you don't do something that other people have decided is Necessary For Humaning.

If someone is talking about a barrier they face, still don't talk about how sad their life must be, although it's fine to commiserate with a friend if they're complaining. It's hard! Some barriers are pretty insurmountable; the person might not ever get to do X even though they want to. And a lot of people don't believe that this kind of barrier exists either; we're very much taught that you can do anything if you try hard enough, when that is simply not true. If someone tells you that they can't do something, listen to them and respect that.

The only reason for not doing X that people really acknowledge as real are the surmountable barriers. And these are real, but even in these cases you should always assume that the person knows themself best and not give advice unless they've specifically asked for it. But if they have asked, it's chill to try to brainstorm solutions with them.

As someone who has both things going on, it really sucks that people tend to assume that everything is a) a barrier issue and b) that they personally have the solution to it. Don't do this.

The only way you can tell if something is a boundary or a barrier is to listen to people and believe them.

Example:

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "No thanks . . . I haven't really found anything that I like yet," (barrier, potentially surmountable) it is probably cool to ask them if they're open to trying something new, and if they say yes ask about their tastes to try to find a drink they would enjoy! They might like it or they might not.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I can't, it interacts with my meds," (barrier, insurmountable) you can say, "Aw, that sucks!" and offer them something nonalcoholic.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I don't drink," (BOUNDARY) you should give them a mocktail and shut the fuck up.

[bellflower-goat]

<:]

[etherealkissed88]

everything is an illusion yes? so when ego is stressing and thinking shit like “oh its gonna take so long” or “i dont have it yet,” its all just fake.

did you forget that you are consciousness playing the role of a human?

consciousness = the movie screen and the human / the illusions = the movie thats playing

consciousness is bigger than the human bc consciousness is everything. thats why consciousness is not just the movie screen but also the movie itself and the human watching the movie and the popcorn on the floor etc. if your real identity is bigger than the role your playing, why do you keep taking helpless feelings, negative thoughts and that victim mentality as real? since its all an illusion and its all not real, might as well enjoy the movie right? nothing is serious and nothing is real (like ego and the idea of a 3d etc).

you are consciousness that only observes so things SEEM hard bc when you are aware of them/observing them, ego categorizes things as “hard” or “easy” etc. but rly, nothing is rly happening bc everything is just harmless, peaceful consciousness. it seems real bc while being in the role of a human, ego believes all of this is real when its not (thats why its an illusion bc its just consciousness appearing as separate).

ego labels and judges things while consciousness only observers without opinions. so nothing is “hard” and “you” arent “not getting/manifesting” what ego wants.

laugh at the illusion and realize none of it is ever real. laugh at the idea that you dont have it bc you know that once you imagine it, you just observed it…like you just made the proof that its already here and you ARE the proof thats its already there.

“nothing is ever real and things only exist when you become aware of them” - @msperfect777

continue to be aware of what ego wants and realize that it already exists instantly. forget about all the other illusions and just ride them out bc as consciousness, you know its all only a game. play the game and have fun not taking anything seriously. find peace in not giving a fuck about the negative thoughts n feelings bc they were never real in the first place. break free from the illusion.

@etherealkissed88

[heavenangelly]

I feel like people are constantly trying to find ways to make the law seem fake. Telling people you’re being delusional, that it’s just a placebo effect, that it’s not real, that it can’t happen, etc. Is it so hard to believe that there is a power within you that can make your life marvellous? That can make you free? That anything you ever desire, can become true instantly? That you’d never have to struggle again? Doesn’t it sound amazing? Because it’s way better than believing any of those limiting beliefs. You have a way OUT with the law. Why do you want to believe otherwise?

All that you’ll ever have to do to “get” your desire is to be the person that already has it / is it. Since you are now that person, it is an assumption. And since the law is literally called, the LAW of ASSUMPTION, that’s all you’ll ever have to do. It’s so fucking simple. And the LAW will never change. It’s been around since humans (possible animals) existed. The only difference is that humans have now become aware. That people (Neville, Abdullah, Edward, bloggers, etc) have started preaching and showing people the truth of life and the power you hold within you.

STOP trying to find ways to prove to yourself that the law is fake. What you seek, you shall find. And in your seeking, you manifest what you’re seeking, so you’ve already lost.

You are always manifesting. Throughout your whole life you have manifested things, consciously or unconsciously (excluding trauma and things you didn’t know about). You have always been a master manifester. You have always chosen to believe/assume things. And it has ALWAYS been reflected. The law never fails.

Actually PRACTICE (consciously) the law and you will see what I mean. Go on your journey and explore your unlimited power. Understand who you are, how to manifest, and why the 3d doesn’t matter. Then, you will be destined to succeed.

And please, stop letting other peoples beliefs become your own. They’re irrelevant and do not matter in your world. You create; so only YOU matter. Become confident in who you are and what you believe in and these measly, insecure, desperate people will fade away. Become confident in the law by applying it. You are God. Wake up.

Another note is, is that none of these bloggers gaf about TikTok’s or some random npc’s beliefs because they have practiced the law and have SEEN their world MELT before their eyes to accommodate them. They know it, they’ve seen it, they believe it. They have no reason to doubt. None of us would lie for shits and giggles.

Do not let the world sway you from your power.

Xoxo,

Heavenangelly.

[eladoobler]

horseshoe theory of the nihilist "nothing matters we all might as well die lol" and the religious "not believing in a god means you think nothing matters so we might as well die lol", does this even mean anything?

[friedbreadwombat]

𝕽𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖚𝖒𝖆

[crepezinhos]

Scaramouche + Wanderer NSFW ABCs

(NSFW ABCs of Scaramouche and Wanderer, showing their sexual differences throughout Wanderer’s character transformation)

SCARAMOUCHE’S POV: You and Scaramouche are friends with benefits. You’re a human but you are incredibly the Seventh Fatui Harbinger. You used to have a rivalry with the Sixth Harbinger because you always thought you were stronger. Slowly, you two start to realize you have many things in common and compete each other in a different way.

WANDERER’S POV: You and Wanderer are a couple. You are a student at the Akademiya and used to be one of his fans when he still was Scaramouche, but, just like everyone else, you forgot his existence after he deleted hisself from the Irminsul. Wanderer met you again when he saw you being cornered by Fatui Agents and saved you from them because he still felt thankful for your support to him in the past. Because of this event, you began talking to him more frequently to him and he quickly fell in love for you, even if he promised to never do so again.

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— Both characters DO NOT share universes, so there was no “exchanging” in partners.

— This is a NSFW piece

— Reader uses SHE/HER pronouns

— Both characters will have some PTSD and are pretty toxic in some topics

— Contains MANY kinky topics such as: Creampie, cosplay / dressed sex, degradation, oral sex, body marking, bondage, overstimulation, teasing, unfairness, masturbation, public sex, quickies, unprotected sex, usage of elemental powers, sexualization of common and daily activities and probably more.

A - Aftercare (How are they like after it and how do they treat you?)

Scaramouche: Scaramouche would usually win the “competitions” you two had, and whenever he did so he’d be pretty snobby about it. He would help you clean up and put you in a comfy place but he’d make sure to keep smirking and staring at your soul through every second of it. Depending of what the competition was about, and who begun it, he’d joke or be ironic about it. Good luck trying to live peacefully after losing to him on a challenge you did by yourself.

“Here you go. I know it’s hard to survive a challenge against me, so I just want to make sure you are not in a vegetative state!” He joked, handing you a cup of water with a very proud smile in his face after barely breaking your mind in bed.

Wanderer: He’d definitely keep the aftercare for the next morning. He feels embarrassed enough to get naked in front of you before it, so he definitely doesn’t want you to see him naked, panting, sweaty and blushing after it. He will immediately lay down and quickly cover the both of you up, cuddling your head until you’re asleep. After some minutes or hours watching you sleep while messing with your hair, he will get up, dress up and do whatever he has to do to make you wake up to a perfect scenario.

“Sit down, I brought you breakfast.” He asked, putting a four-legged tray on top of your waist as soon as you were set to. It had your favorite meal for breakfast and your favorite snacks and drink around it. He already had his clothes on and you had just woke up from an exhausting sex night. “So… did you like it..?” He asked, sitting by your side but avoiding eye contact. You could see him clearly blushing tho.

B - Body Part (What is their favorite part of your body and why?)

Scaramouche: Your hips. If he’s holding your hips, he has the control of it all, and he loves that feeling. He loves to see you sway your hips when walking, see you in clothes where your hips are valued, he loves to grip on them until they get red by the pressure of his fingers, he loves squeezing them and other body parts around it like your belly and tights and he really loves seeing you sway them, especially when you’re riding him.

“Fuck..! If you keep swaying your hips like that… I might actually pass out.” Says Scaramouche between low groans, trying to pretend like he’s not losing the current challenge. His eyes and hands locked on your hips like a hunter. You were swaying them in a way that was driving him absolutely crazy for you.

Wanderer: Your wrists. Even after deleting hisself from the Irminsul and going through his past identity of Scaramouche, he still likes to have total, or most control of sex. He will always lock both your wrists down by either pulling or pushing them to the ground depending on your position, and he does it hard just like his past self. The difference is that he’s just not that kinky anymore and doesn’t even realize how much he likes to hold your wrists.

“Stop moving.” Wanderer ordered between his many moans, grabbing both your wrists and pushing them harder into the wall he was thrusting you against.

C - Cum (Where do they most like to cum?)

Scaramouche: If Scaramouche has the opportunity to cum in your chest or in your face, he will always do it. He absolutely loves the power sensation he gets from doing that to you. He also really enjoys doing it inside and seeing you take it all until you can’t anymore and ends dripping some of it, but he prefers to watch you cleaning your face or chest after having his cum all around it.

“Look at you… letting yourself have all my cum around you like a toy… humiliating.” Scaramouche joked as he watched every single drop of his cum eject from his dick to your chest after fucking you in missionary position with a big smirk in his face.

Wanderer: Inside. Wanderer became a very reserved guy after going through the Irminsul, so his love for the power he got from cumming outside was absolutely lost. He also developed a really weird and unexpected perfectionism, so he doesn’t want to be responsible for cleaning up a mess he can avoid.

“Shhh, shhh. It’s ok, it’s ok. Just take it all in and it will be over in a second.” He said neutrally as he came it all inside your womb, holding you still as you trembled in agony of the feeling of being filled up.

D - Dirty Secret (A sexual wish that they have but you still don’t know about)

Scaramouche: Creampie. Scaramouche has a really kinky wish of seeing you dripping (specifically his) cum out of your pussy. Why would he dream such an specific thing? Power. Scaramouche loves that feeling and if he ever had you dripping his seed when it was initially blown inside you, it would be the ultimatum pleasure to him. He just simply doesn’t tell you about it because the amount of orgasms it would take to have you dripping cum is far from your limits. Unfortunately, you are a human. That means you could never take it that far. That’s why he prefers cumming outside you, so you don’t get enough in a single round.

Wanderer: The day Wanderer saw you dressed as Traditional Sumeru dancer (like Nilou) for an annual festival in Sumeru, was the day he first developed a sexual wish with that new identity. It took him a lot of time to realize he was having TOO many dirty thoughts about it and it took him even more to realize he would like to experience sex with you like that. He just doesn’t tell you that secret because it has been months since you wore that costume. It would be too “out of nowhere” and he’s afraid you’ll find that funny. He will wait until next year, and if the idea keeps bothering his sleeping hours, he will find a way to gather the courage he needs and tell you. He has become a very reserved guy, give him a break.

E - Experience (How experienced are they?)

Scaramouche: Before meeting you, Scaramouche had a low body count. He would only do it with prostitutes and only when he was stressed. That means he wasn’t perfect at it when you two started having sex together, which made you underestimate him at the beginning even if he did win you in the very first round. But time goes on, and you two started doing it almost every day. That means he became an expert pretty quickly and overcame your abilities. He could easily make any woman go insane with his sex, but he prefers keeping all his tricks just for you.

Wanderer: In this universe, his past self also had a even lower body count since he would also only do it with prostitutes and he never had a girlfriend. And unfortunately, he lost most of his already low experience throughout the process of deleting his memories in the Irminsul and then regaining them again. He still will pleasure you greatly, but he knows no much more than the basic stuff. At least he’s trying to become better at it just to make you love him more by trying different paces, positions, places and more.

F - Favorite Position (What is their favorite position to do it?)

Scaramouche: Doggy Style. As you probably know by now, Scaramouche is a huge fan of power. So it shouldn’t be unexpected for him to love fucking you from behind brutally. Seeing your back arched to its core, all your hair being pulled into his direction and your buttocks and hips marked with his hands… it just makes him feel too confident.

“I’m barely seconds in… and you already lost the competition… and made a fucking mess.” He cursed, leaning closer to you just to whisper the joke in your ear while pulling your hair slightly.

Wanderer: Spooning. Wanderer is a guy that needs assurance and love 24/7. So, being able to feel most of your skin touching his while having sex somehow reassures him that you are enjoying it as much as him. The fact that he can also shove his mouth on your shoulders to censor his moans and you can’t really see him in that position comforts him. He’s still very reserved about this kind of thing, so he still feels embarrassed to let you see him naked or hear him moaning.

“Do you like it..?” Wanderer asks huskily between wet moans in your shoulder. “Good…” He says, gently smooching your neck afterwards.

G - Goofy (How seriously do they take it?)

Scaramouche: It’s pretty obvious that Scaramouche is pretty goofy when doing it, but in a bad way. He’s not going to make silly comments or compliment you. No… most of the times he’ll annoy you to the last nerve with his typical comments or jokes and destroy your dignity. At least… he’s only goofy with you and only you.

“Hey, why do you seem so frustrated? Weren’t you the one that started this?” He asked, grabbing your wrists and locking them behind you when you tried to hold him down to stop going so fast and got mad at him for not doing so.

Wanderer: Wanderer is absolutely serious when he’s having sex with anyone. He will not make a single joke or comment about anything. It would remind him of his past self, which is pretty uncomfortable to him but he also considers sex a moment of extreme intimacy where no jokes should be done.

“W-What are you smiling at..?” Asked Wanderer insecure about the tiny smile in your face. You two were doing it in missionary this time and you were simply admiring the view right above you. He was the prettiest man you’ve ever seen.

H - Hair (How many hair do they have down there?)

Since they’re the same person and puppet, both of them share the same answer: they have no body hair at all besides their eyebrows and actual hair. Don’t ask me… Ei is who created him…

I - Intimacy (How intimate and romantic are they through it?)

Scaramouche: Initially, Scaramouche wasn’t romantic nor intimate at all. He would simply enjoy the sexual pleasure of the moment and leave you in your bed to sleep after being railed. But within time, he started to get attached to you even if he tried to deny it. So he started to let out some genuine compliments, kiss and hug you through it, spend more time with you after it and tell you his sexual wishes. Even with this tiny development, he still isn’t the most romantic guy. He becomes very embarrassed when the sex gets too real and will try muttering jokes and cover his sounds to make it more savage because he doesn’t understand that sex is a human instinct and that he’s feeling it.

“This is so fucking so good…” He moaned between the wet and breathy kiss, while his hips rocked hard against yours. One of his hands was gripping on your hand tight while the other one was barely breaking your hips. But when he realized how weird that was, he decided to mumble any joke that came to his mind. “Out of all cum sluts out there, you’re definitely my favorite..! This is worth some extra tips…” He tried to joke, even tho he was saying you’re his favorite partner.

Wanderer: Wanderer, in the other hand, is way more intimate with you. Living with Nahida and studying in the Akademiya made him earn some morality and values he would’ve never learned as a Harbinger. Falling in love with you also made him view some things differently and seriously. For example, the day he entered your room when you were changing. He spent days thinking about what he saw and didn’t understand why he felt so amused by it when he had seen many naked women in his life already? That means that he also feels embarrassed when you see him undress at your front. His attention will be 100% at you, looking for any signs or comfort or discomfort, kissing you everywhere and hugging you all the time. He will not say many things and will not make comments at all, but he’ll make sure you two are in the same environment.

“This is amazing… I don’t wanna stop…” Wanderer moaned while throwing his head to the air. You two were having a very hot missionary sex under the sheets and the overwhelming sweat and heat of your bodies was making him feel wonders.

J - Jack Off (How often do they touch themselves?)

Scaramouche: He wouldn’t jack off frequently. When he felt horny he would just go at you, challenge you in something, make it sexual and fulfill his desires there and now. He’d also have sex with you before going away to missions so his wishes wouldn’t disturb him during the mission. But if became too long, like a month or more, he would sit down in a chair or floor and do it. He would also start masturbating when you two had an appointment to have sex and he knew you were arriving soon, so you’d arrive to a very teasing view.

“You… finally arrived..!” Scaramouche said between low groans. He was masturbating in chair, completely backwards to you, already pretty close to his orgasm. “What am I doing? I’m just making these hours of waiting you less useless…” He joked, still not stopping his movements.

Wanderer: No. Absolutely no. Wanderer will try his best to avoid masturbation. Why? Because the only time where he felt that desperate to touch himself like that, Nahida entered the room without knocking on the door. He spent days avoiding her, even if she completely understood that instinct and wanted to apologize for barging in the room without his consent. Even if you’re away for an appointment and he gets hormonal, he’ll prefer to simply close his eyes and imagine you two having sex, rather than jacking his dick up and down.

“No, I’m not gonna do it.” He said to hisself while trying to sleep, changing his position again. His dick was brick hard but he was trying to ignore it. His brain wasn’t helping tho, making him imagine the both of you having sex with some extra erotic details that were only making him more and more horny. “Hell..! Why is this feeling so fucking insistent..?!”

K - Kinks (Do they have any kinks that you know of?)

Scaramouche: Absolutely. Scaramouche has many kinks and fetishes but the ones that most turn him on are degradation and dominance. Taking control of things and putting people in their place has always been the thing he’s most good at and also his favorite thing. So it isn’t hard for him to do it in sex nor uncomfortable. He’ll make you suck him like a leech, he’ll leave your ass cheeks red from the quantity of slaps given there, he’ll make you beg for him and way more… this guy is an iceberg you don’t wanna go through…

“Show me how much you want this, you little slut.” Scaramouche ordered while fucking you from behind brutally, making you instantly arch your back. “Bending it all over me like a fucking dog in heat… pathetic.” He commented, gripping on your hips tighter.

Wanderer: The only kink you know Wanderer possesses by now is Bondage. He’s not into extreme bondage where you can’t do anything at all, but instead simple things like a single blindfold, or handcuffs or both. That doesn’t mean he’ll absolutely rail you when doing so, actually he’ll be pretty careful with your pleasure now that you’re extra vulnerable. What he likes on it is the control of the handcuffs and the privacy he gets from the blindfold. For example, whenever you or him want to try a new position, he’ll try to ask you to wear a blindfold because he doesn’t want you to see him trying something new at all. He’s afraid he’s terrible at whatever you or him ask for.

“Is it too tight?” He asks you gently, after finishing the knot on the blindfold, with his head in your shoulders. “Alright then… may I start?” He asks, gripping on your wrists even if they were already handcuffed.

L - Location (Where do they most like to do it? And why?)

Scaramouche: Honestly… anywhere. Scaramouche doesn’t really care whether the door is open or closed or if it’s cold or hot outside. He’d do it in Tsaritsa’s bed if he had the chance. He usually prefers places where you can be heard or seen tho. He likes to make it clear to everyone that you are his.

“So what if the door is open? I’d let them see if I was you! Then they’d all know they have no chance with you because all that would go through your mind would be me topping you like this, and my cock making your insides mush.” Scaramouche joked while fucking you from behind in a restaurant’s public bathroom.

Wanderer: Anywhere that is private. Wanderer doesn’t want to be seen at all and especially… doesn’t anyone to see you. He’s very reserved about hisself but if anyone saw you in such an erotic state, blindfolded, handcuffed… he would probably threaten the person’s life. So, he’ll always makes sure nobody’s around, the door is locked and the windows are closed. But especially… he’d make sure Nahida wasn’t nearby.

“Don’t be so impatient. It would be irresponsible of me to leave the windows open.” Wanderer said while closing the windows in his room, pretty annoyed at your petty impatience to have sex with him.

M - Motivation (What makes them keep doing it with you?)

Scaramouche: Your persistence. Scaramouche really likes how you attract him into sex and how you fuck with him. You always bring different “challenges” to him, whispering in his ears and wearing lingeries under your uniform, which already turns him on instantly. But, since you usually lose the challenges, especially the ones you did, it makes him like the experiences even more. After the first time you two did it, where you lost, Scaramouche thought you’d never ask him for it again. But you did, and he was very surprised (in a good way). You turned a switch you can’t turn off. And now, he’ll constantly challenge you in bed.

“You really wanna challenge me into who’s cumming first again? Even if all the times you’ve done that were a victory for me? Ha… I wonder whether you’re challenging me or yourself.” He teased, already turned on, as he walked closer to you undoing his pants.

Wanderer: His love for you doesn’t only make him keep having sex with you but also makes him keep living. The care that you have for him didn’t seem to change even if you didn’t know his past self anymore. That makes him feel he won’t be betrayed romantically even if you’re a social butterfly. But… since you’re a human, it means that you’ll have to go one day (more known as “betray” in his head). So he wants to enjoy every second of you, the same way he wants you to enjoy every second of him. The way that you reassure him of his insecurities and traumas naturally just gives him too much pleasure, sexually or not.

“Say that again…” He whimpered in your ear desperately after you moaned that you loved his sex meanwhile he fucked you from behind. The way he moaned after you repeated it, this time with an “I love you”, was animalistic. “Oh god… say that again… just keep saying that…” He begged while accelerating his pace, too embarrassed to tell you he loves you back.

N - No (What are things they would never do while having sex? And why?)

Scaramouche: Scaramouche thought he didn’t have any no’s in sex until the day you joked about calling him Kabukimono during it. He laughed at first but soon realized he actually hated that idea and kinda got mad at you for suggesting something so disgusting like that. It just felt wrong to have you calling him a nickname that came from people that had all betrayed him one day. His mother, his best friend and a sick kid? No. Just no. His name is Scaramouche and his title is The Balladeer. That’s all you can name him as.

“You only realized that what you said about calling me by my past name, given to me by worthless people, was terrible now?” Scaramouche asked angrily but also jokingly, avoiding eye contact like you were truly disgusting. You really didn’t know that those names were that triggering to him and genuinely felt bad for him.

Wanderer: Wanderer has many more no’s compared to his past self and you. But aside from his past wishes he’s and the obvious no’s, his weirdest no in sex is you riding him. He just can’t feel comfortable in that position at all. You are the one who locks his hands against the bed, settle a rhythm for him to follow and especially, see him in such a vulnerable state. He has been through so much humiliation and manipulation in his life that he really wants to stay far from anything that gives him the slightest feeling of being used. And that position gives him that same feeling.

“N-No..! I don’t like this! Please stop..!” He asked desperately out of nowhere. You stopped riding him immediately and quit the position in a second, trying to comfort him and understand what was going on. It was the first time you two were trying that position and you were going very slow. “I-I’m sorry, I just… don’t like to see myself in this position...” He explained, completely embarrassed for ruining the moment and gasping for air.

O - Oral (Do they prefer giving or receiving?)

Scaramouche: Giving. Scaramouche loves to see you crumbling from above him while he’s giving you a cunnilingus. And trust me, he is good at it. He’ll do it until your legs are trembling, trying their best to smash his head further inside you, until all you can mutter are moans and pleads for him to either fuck you or go faster. Even if he’s not a huge fan of your hands gripping on his hair for dear life, he likes the fact that it basically means you are feeling the agony of being touched in such a sensible spot.

“I know, I know… but I’m having so much fun toying you here that I just… don’t wanna leave. Not until I’m satisfied.” Scara said between licks and breathes on your sensible clit. He continued to mouth you everywhere for barely an hour without breaking eye contact. Not even for a mere second.

Wanderer: Receiving. Wanderer is indeed a very reserved guy, that’s why you were so surprised to him like oral sex that much when you two first tried it. He was trying his best to not grip your hair too hard, to swallow his moans in, but it was too much for him. To have you kneeling at his front, sucking him so passionately and obediently was just too perfect for him. He felt such a huge feeling of power and privacy that made him fall in love with it. He never asks for it tho, because it is indeed a very embarrassing position for him.

“I-I’m sorry… I can’t hold it… this is too good…” He said between deep breathes, whimpers and moans as he gripped on your head tight to make you suck him faster. He was against a wall, barely managing to stand up. His other hand was trying its best to not grip on your head as well, scratching the wall for dear life.

P - Pace (Are they quick or slow? Rough or gentle?)

Scaramouche: It depends on what are you or him trying to do exactly. If he wants to edge you, he’ll go as rough as possible but torturously slow. If he wants you to cum faster than him, he’ll go as quick and rough as possible. He’s never going to be gentle to you, even if it’s supposed to be a more romantic sex.

“You like it here, yeah? Then I’ll fuck you right here until you’re brainless…” He commented, completely lustful for you and the moment as he roughly and slowly thrusted you all the way to your cervix, making you scream at each thrust.

Wanderer: He’ll most likely going to be slow and gentle most of the times. He wants this kind of moment to last as much as it can so both of you savor each other as much as you can, remember the feeling of doing that with each other and long to savor it again. He’ll never be rough with you, not at Scaramouche’s level. He’ll maybe go quick at you depending on the situation but usually he’ll just accelerate when you or him are close to climaxing.

“Faster..?” He asked, almost sounding like a husky whimper, when you whispered the command. “I will, my love… I will…” He said a little louder as he gripped and pushed your wrists harder in the bed and begun accelerating.

Q - Quickies (What do they think of quickies?)

Scaramouche: No matter where you two are, he’ll always ask for it when he finds the opportunity to have sex. A third person in the room said they’d go to the bathroom because they’re not feeling well and think they’ll vomit? He’ll not let you go help, instead, he’ll give you oral sex. Even if you two are caught he’ll most likely not going to stop. Why would he? It’s free porn for whoever is watching anyway… and he’ll obviously be more obvious about it if the environment is private.

“This is a nice kitchen, isn’t it?” He asked playfully as soon as the last maid left the scene and closed the door behind you two. “The maids’ lunch last around 30 minutes… do you know what can we do in these 30 minutes?” He asked, stepping closer to you with a smirk forming in his face. “Hint: it’s something I’ve been longing for a while now…” He said, finally pinching your chin and pulling you for a hot kiss.

Wanderer: Wanderer is actually a big hater of quickies and will only do it if you want it, there’s time for an orgasm and no possible intruders. For example, morning sex. If he’s the one that wants it, he’ll just hold it until it’s safe and nighttime. He thinks quickies ruin the entire meaning of sex. The closure, intimacy, love and lust is barely existent when the intent of it is being quick.

“Are you sure..? You have many work to do today, I don’t want you to be late.” He asked you, his mouth centimeters away from yours as he held your hips gracefully. You slowly pulled him with you to the bed behind you as you said “yes”. “Are you really, really sure..?” He asked you again, and you finally convinced him that you wanted it.

R - Risks (How far are they willing to risk?)

Scaramouche: He’ll risk whatever goes through his or your mind. Public sex? Yes. Elemental Reactions during sex? Yes. Upside down sex? Yes. Sex inside Shouki no Kami? Sounds fun. He’s going to risk everything possible aside from his single no and your no’s if you even some.

“What about… a good old missionary at night, in the Anemo Archon’s statue? In the hands more specifically.” He asked as he stared at the statue with you. You had a mission to investigate the location of the Anemo Gnosis but he insisted on going with you since he had nothing to do.

Wanderer: Barely anything. All that he’s willing to try new fetishes and positions but it has to be in a extremely private scenario. Anything that is public or dangerous to your health will be instantly denied by him.

“Are you serious?” Asked Wanderer after you suggested having sex in the snow of Snezhnaya’s high mountains. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t want you to freeze to death because of a weird fetish. Here, just put this on and let’s continue.” He denied, giving you his hat in order to try warning you up better, insecure about your state.

S - Stamina (How far can they go?)

Since they’re the same person, they both have the answer, which is: days. They’re puppets, they were made to last way longer than a normal human being. Both of them could go as far as they wished to, but they know you are a mere human that can barely last a round. So they just decide to go until your limit.

T - Toys (Do they use toys? Which ones?)

Scaramouche: Personally, Scaramouche doesn’t really like to use toys. He likes natural sex, so that he can control you the way he wants to and show you how no one is better than him. And if there was a dildo shoved inside you rather than his actual dick, it’d make you feel better, and believe it or not, that thought actually makes him feel a little insecure. He also owns a plastic dick, so why don’t you feel better with his? So he decided to throw them away. But don’t you think it’s over! He owns a Vision and Illusion and he makes sure to use them greatly against you when he feels like it. So prepare to have your pussy zapped when receiving a cunnilingus…

“Harder..? How hard do you want it, huh? Like this?” He asked you jokingly before slightly zapping your clit using his fingers. “Ha… you actually seem to like this, don’t you..?” Scaramouche asked with a curious smirk before continuing moving his hand in and out of your pussy. But now with sudden zaps with no rythym to catch up on, making you have a pretty messy, electrical orgasm.

Wanderer: Since Wanderer like to have you using handcuffs and blindfolds, he can’t really say that he doesn’t like using toys. But he doesn’t feel like using any other toys rather than these two. Even after going through a rough existential crisis, he somehow still feels insecure about vibrators…

“These look so pretty in you, my love…” Wanderer complimented, gently caressing your wrists that had just been handcuffed with your newest pair of red handcuffs.

U - Unfair (How unfair and teasing are they with you?)

Scaramouche: Just like mentioned in G section, Scaramouche will always try to make the situation unfair to you. He’ll put you in difficult positions and situations, tease you both mentally and physically in search of full control of you and go silent to make you feel dirty by yourself. Even after sex he’ll mess with you! He wants you to go home with the thoughts of him. And it works, because no matter how unfair he is with you, you still play your part in his little game.

“The more you complain and beg, the more I’ll remain here.” Scaramouche threatened as he fingered you robotically, making you go nuts with such effortless thrusts.

Wanderer: The only unfair thing Wanderer might do in sex is taking his clothes off way after he took yours off. After that he’s an absolute angel. Why? Because he just wants to live a common human life, and you letting him have the experience of a romantic relationship and sex makes it so much better and real to his eyes. He’ll spend the rest of your days cherishing you.

“Sorry… I’ll take my clothes off now…” Wanderer said embarrassed at having you asking him that. But you two were making out for some good minutes by now and only you were naked for no reason.

V - Volume (How high are they? And what sounds do they make?)

Scaramouche: A stressed guy like Scaramouche barely makes any sound during sex at all. Initially, it was just because you two weren’t intimate, but it quickly became his thing. He wanted not only to hear all of you, but wanted you to hear yourself, moaning and whining so dirtily and desperately for the amount of pleasure he gave you. He’d be extra silent if you two could be heard or seen by a possible intruder having sex in a risky area. But he can go fully silent, and he does if he was doing it not on his mood, for example, if you challenged him in a time where he wasn’t longing for you. He’d be smirking the entire time, hearing you spill it all out while he was as quiet as a rock. But when he’s feeling pleasure, he’ll hiss a lot and groan shortly with his mouth closed most of the times.

“Are you trying to get attention, huh? Making so much noise over so little… I can’t wait to hear how high you’ll be screaming when I cum inside you.” Scaramouche whispered in your ear, trying his best to not let out a single moan, even if he was feeling as much pleasure as you.

Wanderer: Wanderer is also a pretty quiet boy when having sex, but this time is because he still doesn’t know how to express his pleasure. He feels so embarrassed and dirty making that kind of noise, afraid that you’d find him perverted or anything. It’s an irrational insecurity, he knows. You would moan and scream until all the air inside your lungs was gone and he wouldn’t think you were perverted like he thought it would happen to him. But he is slowly letting himself be more and more louder with you by slightly moaning in your ears and breathing hard.

“You only keep tightening around me…” Wanderer commented between low groans and pants, trying to not make too much noise. “I want more…” He confessed, pushing you and him to the corner of the table to have a better angle to thrust you deep.

W - Wild Card (A random headcannon)

Scaramouche: He really likes kimonos. Since he’s from Inazuma, he was grown in a culture where kimonos are top fashion. That’s why his own uniform was designed with both Snezhnayan and Inazuman fashion. But during a mission assigned to you two in Inazuma of spying on the Shogun, the date coincidentally fell on a traditional Inazuman festival which you two decided to participate in search of the Shogun’s presence. But he totally forgot that during this day, the participants were supposed to wear kimonos to fit in, and oh… my… god. He couldn’t stop staring at you. He thought you looked beautiful in one but because of your relationship with him, it also made him feel turned on. He pulled to the first corner he saw and gave you a leg-shivering oral.

“You’re so lucky… that this dress is rented… or else I would be fucking you to oblivion in it right now… and ripping it apart after cumming all around it…” He teased between licks and breathes on your warm pussy he was eating.

Wanderer: Wanderer has a weird curiosity on the female human body and always likes to stare you at you like a piece of art whenever he’s seeing you naked. He thinks it’s so smaller than a male’s… but the curves and shape are so much prettier… he can’t describe it at all. But he really likes to stare at your anatomy while doing it with him or sleeping with him after it. And oh if you dare to try putting your clothes on after it.

“No, no. Stay right here. We have a blanket for that.” Wanderer said, pulling you through your wrist back to the bed, covering your body with your blanket afterwards. He waited until you were asleep to begin touching a piece of a hair while he looked at you up and down repeatedly.

X - X-Ray (How big are they?)

Since they’re the same person and puppet, both of them share the same answer: average sized. Even if Ei did put a dick in his body during his creation, she was no pervert and made it sized enough for an average vagina. He also cannot change its size or thickness, but he wish he could adjust to the perfect size to fill you all up with each thrust just he can adjust his neck and arms…

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Scaramouche: It is obviously pretty high, but he will never tell you that. He gets turned on with almost everything that you do. Your voice, body, manners, clothes… but he only shows his thirst for you when either you or him challenge each other in bed. The feeling of challenging or being challenged excites him a lot, and you know that he never resists when you whisper one in his ear. You’re still the one that takes most initiative in sex tho, but Scaramouche is probably going to take lead in that as well soon.

“You know just how to make me fuck you, don’t you?” Scaramouche asked, turning his face to you with a lusty smirk in his face. He was sat down at a chair in his office and you were whispering naughty thoughts right in his ear. You were asking for lose your ability to walk.

Wanderer: His sex drive is pretty average. He doesn’t get turned on with absolutely everything but still can feel amused with common daily things such as leaning your back to reach something that feel in the floor and jealously. Still, you’re definitely the one that takes most initiative in sex, to either make it or try something new.

“Can we… you know…” Wanderer whispered in your ear very lowly, completely out of nowhere and unable to finish the sentence. You two were simply about to sleep in a spooning position again. “Can we have sex..?” He finally said it, making the situation unnecessarily tense and sexual.

Z - Zzz… (How long does it take for them to sleep after it?)

Scaramouche: You two don’t usually do it in nighttime, which naturally decreases the amounts of nights you have him sleeping with you, but even when it is, he’ll most likely wait for you to sleep in his arms and leave the scene quietly after some long minutes or hours. He’s a puppet, he doesn’t need to sleep. But the more you two explore and discover more about each other, the more he feels like letting himself get a bit of a rest after it by your side, hugging you like a squid using its tentacles. Don’t blame him, nightmares torment most of the nights he decides to sleep.

Wanderer: A few minutes. Wanderer doesn’t need to sleep as well, but he usually feels so in-love and thankful for you after a hot, lusty and tiring night of sex that he allows himself to relax and enjoy the beauty of the woman in front of him until he finally decided to close his eyes. And when he does, he’ll hug you very tight just like Scaramouche would and put your head under his for the instinct of protecting you from this cruel world. Plus, when he realized that he never had a single nightmare when sleeping with you, he stopped sneaking out and leaving the scene after you fall asleep, no matter how much he needs to do something outside the bed. He’ll reciprocate the comfort you give him every day.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Being held hostage by Ryomen Sukuna

Pairing: Sukuna x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,4k

Synopsis: How you ended up in Sukuna's prison instead of getting killed in an instant? You don't know. What you do know however that the king of curse has more to offer than what you ever imagined...

Warnings: no real smut but it's getting heated y'all, Sukuna being a smooth operator, not 100% proofread

enjoy

„Feeling lonely?“

You huff to yourself, wrists desperately fighting against the chains that keep you in place, tired eyes roaming around in order to find him.

Him, Ryomen Sukuna. The monster who kidnapped you and brought you here, chained you to the ceiling while kneeling on the cold ground. Fuck, how did you even allow him to catch you like this? Why didn’t you use your sphere, fight against him, give everything you have?

You furrow your eyebrows, glaring at his stupid grin with nothing but rejection. Because that man in front of you is more than a simple curse, let alone a human being. Not even you, a special grade jujutsu sorcerer, stood a chance against him. Not when you were too focused on saving your student’s lives to realize that you run straight into his open arms.

“I hate that look on your stupid pretty face. It almost looks like…disgust…”, he comments dryly.

With a swift motion, he yanks your chin upward, forces you to stare straight into his red eyes. You hate the way your nerves start tingling by just one look at him, the horror that radiates from those crimson orbs. If he wanted to, he could kill you without blinking, could end your life right here without hesitating. But instead, he decided to chain you into his living room in order to tease you.

“That’s exactly what it is”, you press out, failing miserably in an attempt to escape the sheer force of his fingertips.

“Feisty, I like it. We have a great time ahead of us, (y/n).”

The way he says your name runs shivers down your spine. Fuck, that unpromising look on his face makes you slowly but surely lose your composure. But why…Why are you even here? Why did none other than Ryomen Sukuna decide that you have to stay alive even though he would have been able to kill you without thinking twice? Why are you trapped here instead of six feet under?

“Why am I not dead yet?”

The words escape your mouth faster than you’re able to think. Slowly, he kneels down in front of you, nothing but amusement glimmering in his deadly orbs. Your heart almost beats out of your chest. Why does the air suddenly feel thicker, your lungs refusing their service while all you’re able to do is staring at him? Ryomen Sukuna is your worst enemy, killed countless people, brought nothing but grief your way. But…

You swallow hard. Did he really just get on his knees in front of you?

“I’ve been observing you for quite some time. Even though you’re nothing but a weak human, there’s something I haven’t seen before. Something I want to explore”, he replies with low voice.

Fuck, you hate the way your knees suddenly feel weak, how you squirm under his gaze. Are you out of your goddamn mind? This isn’t Nanami or Gojo. No, this is the king of curses himself. He’ll kill you without blinking when he has enough of you. God, what the hell is wrong with your taste in men anyway? You almost lost your composure when you met Choso back then at Shibuya…

When the man kneeling in front of you killed so many people that you lost count, almost ending your life as well when you were only inches away from getting caught in his sphere.

“No thanks. I have absolutely zero interest in getting explored by you”, you bite back.

Oh, what a filthy little lie. Just the thought of seeing him shirtless drives your imagination wild, sets something free you weren’t even aware of existing. Even though your eyes show nothing but dismissal, your body tells you otherwise.

“We’ll see about that.”

You almost choke on your own salvia when his hands grab your wrist out of the sudden, chest so close to you that you can almost taste the smell of musk and amber radiating from the sheer heat of his body that is only covered by his white robe. If you wanted to, you could rest your head against his broad chest, enjoy the sensation of his body against yours-

Before you’re able to react, your body collapses onto the cold ground, stained wrist set free by none other than Sukuna himself.

“Thanks, asshole”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your body feels like pudding, so weak that you can’t lift yourself off the floor as gracefully as you wanted to. How long have you been here already? Way too long as it seems. You glare at him through the messy strands of hair that stick to your face like glue. Just that satisfied grin on his face is enough to fuel your anger all over again.

“You really think you’re a tough one, huh? And that after I saw how you pressed your legs together when I came a little closer.”

“You’re a monster”, you argue.

He roams closer. Like a hunter he circles you, nothing but amusement and something way darker glistening in his eyes.

“You killed my comrades, my friends, innocent people-“

“So what?”, he casually replies.

His hands wrap themselves around your hair before you can stop him. You stare at him in sheer disbelief, head fighting against the sheer force of his fingers unsuccessfully. How on earth did you end up here?

“Your love and affection for others is your true weakness, (y/n). Without your puny thoughts over people who give a damn about you, you’d be unstoppable. Just like me.”

His breath caresses your cheeks, lights a fire that now radiates through your whole body.

“I will stop you”, you breathe out.

“Oh please.”

His hands…You can’t believe your eyes, your instincts, your body. Suddenly you find yourself trapped inside his muscular arms, his face so close to yours that you can feel his hot breath ghosting against your cheek and neck. When was the last time a man touched you? Oh, way too long ago. His toned body pressed against yours reminds you way too painful. But still.

You shake your head ever so slightly, close your eyes against the sensation his touch promises. This isn’t just a random man, not the kind of bad guy like Geto or Choso. No, this is the king of curses himself, a frightful creature absolutely willing to kill you when he had enough of you. You are nothing but a toy to him, something he found useful and will throw away the second you don’t match his expectations. This man is evil, this man is the epitome of cruelty. This man…

Pushes you against the wall, his leg forced between both of yours while all you can think of are his parted lips. This has to be a dream… Or a nightmare?

“Fuck.”

You don’t know, mind clouded by nothing but his sheer presence. What if you just kissed him? Only once to discover how he tastes, to convince yourself that you hate him. Yes, maybe this is all you need to get rid of that ridiculous desire that builds up in your stomach, maybe this will make the pressure between your hips vanish into thin air. A small innocent kiss and you’ll search a way out of this cursed place, an innocent kiss to come back to your senses.

Like in slow motion you stretch out your hand, so ready to touch his cheek. Does he even feel human? What else should he feel like? You just need to stretch your fingertips a little further, your head moving a few more inches towards his lips. His lips, those inviting parted lips…

“I knew you want me.”

But you don’t reach him. The second you open your eyes, you get greeted by that satisfied grin you learned to hate in the matter of hours, his hand keeping your fingers trapped mid-air.

“Don’t worry, I will come back to this eventually. But right now, I have something important to do.”

It happens faster that you’re able to react. Before you even comprehend what is happening, the chains around your wrists come back to life, trap you against the wall like a fool.

“Asshole”, you spit into his face, thick anger rushing through your already heated veins.

Out of instinct you stretch out your hand, ready to hit him with your best shot.

Only to get stopped by him catching your hand mid-air.

Again.

“I’ll see you later, (y/n). Don’t cause trouble as long as I’m gone.”

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