#ITS SO FUNNY FUCKING IMAGINE ACTING LIKE THAT AS A GROWN ADULT.....

[deepseacityunderground]

do you ever meet a person whos like a grown adult like a grown ass adult in their thirties and yet their social maturity is stuck at like. 16

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Thinking about how SB would act slash react the moment HL uses his laser eyes around his sister when adults (HL loved his sister as a child, but now that they’re grown up and she doesn’t share his mindset and she’s fucking his sword enemy? Nah can’t see him sparing her life; bet that if he hurts her he’d see it as disciplining her) and SB losing it if MC gets hurt and both her and HL being surprised at SB actually caring for her and being mad at his son for hurting his sister instead of telling her to get back up or some shit like that he’d tell them as kids

i imagine this happens at herogasm. butcher is busy trying to get mm to leave so its just you, soldier boy and homelander among the chaos. soldier boy still has no idea the rift thats happened between his kids.

so he's fucking FLOORED when Homelander aims his lasers at you, catching your shoulder and sending you crashing into a wall. physically it doesn't hurt you, but emotionally you want to cry bc this is the brother you loved (yes you still love that milk chugging fucker).

you're about to get up and attack Homelander until the both of you jump at Soldier Boy's yell "HEY!!!"

(its funny to see that his yell still affects you and your brother years later)

oh he's fucking seething at hl, hl just staring at him in confusion. was this guy really his father?

sb's chest is heaving, jaw clenched with that humming, orange glow at his chest that you learned was your sign to gtfo

he's moved in front of you, to block you in case homelander thought of attacking you again. "Don't you DARE hurt your sister like that."

"Stay out of this, old man. This has nothing to do with you." Homelander sneers. "Things have changed around here. You're no longer the hero you thought you were. Everyone bows at MY feet now!!"

[bakiuwu]

Imagine saying someone posting screenshots to prove themselves innocent cause someone made a fucking alt to spread a fucjing child grooming rumor stupid ass internet beef, are yall slow do yall know how serious that shit, do you know how fucked up it is to be minding your business and for someone to hate you to make up a fucked rumor??? This literally fucking harassment I'm defending myself and showing how actually fucked people in this fuckinf fandom is, also to make a post about something then to throw fucking shade are fucking unserious

Then, on top of all this bullshit to have someone admit that they did it...and a person who I haven't a gave a fuck and even forgot abiut FUCKING YANDERE MOMO ARE YOU SHITING ME, YOU LITERALLY HAVE ME BLOCKED AND YOUR STARTIGN SHIT??? being on apart of this stupid ass scheme l.....WHY cause you don't like me over some baki shit??? YOUR 23 HAVING A DAMN 15 YEAR OLD DOING YOUR SHIT, ARE YOU SURE YOUR NOT THE DAMN GROOMER WERID PICE OF SHIT Why are you close with a damn 15 year older who happens to be a fucking proshipper who has drawn cp before you fucking bitch, it's already bad you write rape fanfics BUT THIS no wonder you were able to make uo such a rumor, you self-progecting cunt

ALSO FOR YOU SAINT FUCK ASS PUPPY TO PLAY THIS OFF LIKE ITS A JOKE??? HATE YOU??? I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU I AXTUALLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOUR A KID CLEARY SURROUND BY WERID ASS ADULTS, I DONT KNOW ANY OF YOU PEOPLE??? AND YOUR DAMN LIE YOU HAVE HARRSED ME AND MY FRIEND BEFORE YALL CAN NOT BE SERIOUS

Then too pussy to even say anything to me cause WHAT YOUR SCARED OF ME OR SOMETHING??? WTF YOUR A SPINELESS PIECE OF ACTUALLY SHIT, then to act like your changing a new leaf cause you decide to tell WHEN YOU BEEN DOING THIS FOR SOME TIME APPARENTLY, ARE YOU THAT BOTHER BY ME.....what happen to people having a fucking life, your so mad at someone that get a proshipper 15 year old to help your GROWN ASS to make up a fucking child grooming rumor.....that is the most Pathetic loser shit I have ever witnessed, then for this to be played off like this not serious......this fandom is really fucked up,

I don't even do anything all I do is post dumbass shit.....this actually funny....I have no words....so agian if you actually think any of this is silly internet beef.....there's something wrong with you, I feel like people think shit on the internet isn't serious like you can say and do whatever they pls and think nobody should call them out for theyre dangerous behavior this is very serious shit like this can ruin someone's fucking life....this is the last thing I have to say....this so disgusting

[beevean]

N!Alucard swearing in particular doesn't mske sense because he was raised by the two people in the whole show who actually never swore once and were really refined, not to mention he presumably lived in pretty isolated conditions so there could be no way for him to gain any rude behavior

The show tries to sell the idea that Trevor's behavior rubbed off on him but he was calling his ancestors brain dead hillbillies and overall acting like a cunt as soon as he met the guy

It literally makes no sense for him to be this way even in-universe

Yes, exactly.

It's the same logic of that S4 scene where Sypha goes on a rant because "I said shit, you did this to me!" when this woman literally snarked that she was going to make Trevor drink her piss by telling him its was beer, like, 10 minutes after meeting him. No, you made nearly everyone talk the same, you don't get to paint Trevor as the "crass one"!

Funnily enough, Alucard insulting the Belmont heritage by more or less calling them primitive savages for their techniques does fit the idea that he's a haughty spoiled prince who thinks he's so much superior than the low class. Probably not what the writers intended, though :P

overall acting like a cunt as soon as he met the guy

In S1E4, he literally asks Trevor if he's "a runt running around with the Belmont crest" before even fighting. And I get the idea that Alucard wanted to test him to see if he could help him, but the antagonism is so forced. I honestly don't know why Alucard would hate Trevor on sight: their personalities are not that opposite.

It's shit like this that pisses me off:

Alucard: This is a simple remote viewing mirror. A little of the activating language is chipped. A few of the runes need re-cutting, but workable. You have the most fascinating family junkyard, Belmont. Trevor: You are a cockwart, Alucard. Sypha: Stop it. *drags Trevor away* You are an adult. You do not have to rise to his every barb. Trevor: He's pissing me off like it's his job, Sypha. Sypha: Grow up, Trevor.

Alucard attacked Trevor first for literally zero reason, Trevor insults him back (less elegantly but whatever, I'd call him a cockwart too) and Sypha reproaches him and tells him to grow up? And then the scene transitions to Trevor explaining the origins of his name... which leads to the two flirting? Bro? The fuck? This is literally "be nice to your bully" logic??

This is the forced framing of the show. It wants to tell me Trevor is the immature, rude one, because Alucard is justified:

Sypha: But it's like he's a cold spot in the room. It's not like your sadness. Trevor: I'm not sad. Sypha: Yes, you are. But I can shout at you, or tease you, and get a reaction that lets me know you're still in there. His sadness is like an icy well. It's bottomless… and it swallows up your voice and anything you try to drop into it.

Trevor's depression is funny, Alucard's depression is tragic. Comic relief vs. real protagonist. You can't make this shit up.

And then this other shit:

Sypha: Stop testing him, Alucard. Alucard: I am concerned I have thrown my lot in with a demented infant. Sypha: I imagine he has similar concerns about you. Alucard: I am also concerned that you enjoy him too much. Sypha: And what is that supposed to mean? Alucard: He is unreliable, emotionally damaged, and apparently very distracting to you while you should be focused on the task at hand. Sypha: Oh. Am I not working hard enough? Hmm? Alucard: And he's a drunk and he's self-destructive and anybody trying to hold on to him may well simply be dragged down with him. Sypha: You're afraid. You worry that you might have made the wrong choice. So you're trying to make him prove himself again and again by constantly provoking him. You forget, Alucard. Trevor didn't get to finish out his childhood. He is not the man here who may not have grown up.

This is not testing. Sypha joked about finding a book with penis spells, and Alucard unprovoked threw a jab at Trevor. He just decided to insult him as soon as he saw an opening. (although, hilariously enough, it lowkey sounds like he's crushing on Sypha and he's jealous that she and Trevor had a decent chat the other night)

Hey, asshole. Trevor literally brought your ungrateful ass to a place that holds all of his heritage, a heritage he was shunned for, because you need help to kill Daddy - and I don't give a shit if you feel attacked in your vampire identity which makes zero sense and makes you look really callous, you want a vampire hunter for the job, you get someone who kills people like you for a living. You have seen him fighting: you have seen that he is very competent at his job, which is what you need. On the other hand, in S2 we barely if ever see him drink like in S1. You literally, literally, have zero reasons to speak that way, unless you're just looking for excuses to be a dick. And if you're that insecure about your choice... leave. Find someone else. Go fight Dracula alone, since in any case you ended up doing all the work. And Sypha, why the fuck did you go and bang Trevor when you clearly prefer Alucard over him. Look, she's defending him, but she's still calling him a manchild! What's with Ellis and his obsession with manchildren and humiliating them!

... I'm sorry, I know I strayed away from the point of him swearing, but N!Alucard is such a rude prick! I hate him! It's not Trevor's fault, he was born that way! He's not even that pretty that would justify him becoming the fandom's blorbo! I want to slap him and Sypha so much and then rescue Trevor who needs much better friends than these two 😭

[angelasscribbles]

About that Tumblr Bullying

I know I said I was going to do a whole call out post about the bullying that happened to me. Complete with receipts. But a funny thing happened after I posted my little preview post yesterday. My DM’s blew the fuck up with people reaching out to me with, support yes but also, and unfortunately, their own stories of having been bullied. Like a lot of people.

That got me thinking, what happened to me is a drop in the bucket. This problem is much more prevalent than I ever would have thought and that is so disappointing and unfortunate. This is supposed to be fun. Grown adults are not supposed to act this way.

A hate post was made about me, and I was, in fact, clueless to its existence until my little anon friend gave me the heads up. A move that seemed desperate for my attention. I have decided not to give it to them. I have decided that they don’t get any more of my time, attention or energy.

I want to focus, instead, on those being bullied. Because this issue is way larger than just me. I can handle it. I have been through some shit in my life and come through it with flying colors. A little Tumblr hate isn’t about to break me. But I know not everyone has the same level of resilience, not everyone is in a good place, not everyone has a good support system filled with loving, supportive people. I know there are people out there struggling with depression, anxiety, grief, stress, and worse. I know there are people for whom toxic internet bullying could cause a major mental health crisis, or set off a depressive episode or hell, even just seriously mess with their self esteem. My inbox is full of stories of writers doubting themselves, their writing, their worth as a human being because of the atrocious things said to them (way worse than what was said about me).

I  want to do a couple of things here. The first is simply to let each and every one of you know that you are worthy. I know my platform isn’t that large, I’m no one special, but to those this does reach, I want to tell you that you do matter! You are worthwhile!

Secondly, I’d like to remind you that you own no one anything, not your time, not your attention, not a response to their messages, not an acknowledgement of their complaints (real or imagined). Literally, nothing.

My advice?

Surround yourself with positive people. Block the negative ones. You lose nothing by cutting toxic people out. Out of your Tumblr feed, out of your Facebook feed or even out of your real life. Sometimes, blocking and moving on with your life is self-care. There are people who thrive on drama and negativity. They can’t live without it, they feed on it. Don’t feed them. Cut off their access to you. Save your energy for those that make you smile, those that see the beauty in you (even when you don’t see it yourself).

When you have the energy/spoons for it, pay it forward every chance you get. Give compliments, prop up other people. You never know when that compliment might be the thing that turns an otherwise dull day into a bright one. And bonus, you’ll feel good about it too! I believe that what we put out in the universe comes back to us. So, send positivity out there every chance you get.

Engage in aggressive self-care. Block out time for yourself. Do the things that you enjoy, eat the foods that you love, allow yourself time to watch that TV show that makes you happy, even if the laundry isn’t done. Take a hot bath, go for a long walk (if you’re able), draw, write, paint, do whatever it is that feeds your soul. And don’t apologize for it, or feel guilty for doing it. Your happiness counts. You count!

If you are struggling, please reach out to someone, talk, tell someone. Don’t keep it all inside, let it out. I know that can be hard sometimes, but it’s crucial for healing. And let’s face it, most of us have unresolved trauma of some sort or another.

The last thing I want to do here is give a little practical advice. I want to offer some tips for how to lock down your account to better protect yourself against being blindsided by anon hate. Here they are:

This is the most obvious one. Turn off anonymous asks. To do this, go to “Account” (little gear icon in upper right hand corner on mobile) and scroll down to “Allow anonymous asks” and toggle it off. <- I did this, because I had witnessed others getting anon hate. I thought it was enough. It wasn’t. Someone determined to stalk, bully and harass you will find another way. So keep reading.

Take away the ability for an anonymous, fake, blog to message you. Yes, you can make it so that only blogs you follow can DM you. To do this, go to “Account” and click on “Account settings” then click on “Messaging”, here you can choose who can message you, pick “only Tumblrs you follow can message”. <- Wish I had known that sooner. Never occurred to me that someone would make an entire fake blog just to send me hate.

Next, if you want, you can limit who may comment on your posts. Go to “Account” then to “Account settings” and click on “Replies” choose “only Tumblrs you follow can reply” <- This is tricky for me, because the whole point of Tumblr is interacting with new people/content. But if you are being stalked, harassed and/or bullied, I would recommend taking this extra step.

This is just a privacy issue, but if you don’t want others to know when you’re active, go to “Account” then “Account Settings” and click on “Privacy”. You can toggle to turn off “Let others see that you’re active”<- Not really going to keep anyone from bullying you, but if you have anxiety about people being mad if you don’t respond when they can see that you are active, then it’s a good thing to deactivate.

If you’ve taken the above steps, then you are safe from anon hate in your asks, your inbox and the comment sections of your posts. <- someone can still create a fake blog and make a nasty comment in a reblog of your post, but at least they have to show their nastiness publicly.   

If anyone has more tips that I’ve missed, please respond with a comment or reblog and let us all know!

I’m going to leave you with this little gem. No Time for Toxic People by Imagine Dragons. Lyrics are under the cut.

Lyrics:

The way they look at me, I know exactly What they talk about when I'm not around Got no time for that, as a matter of fact Every day's my birthday, oh, I hope you heard me

Take a look outside, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy Take a real good look, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy

So spend your hours on what you think I've done wrong I know I'm in your mind, I've been here way too long I want to spend my life with those who's done me right Your heart is frozen over, I'm a four-leaf clover

Take a look outside, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy Take a real good look, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy

Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people Do-do, do-do-do, no time for that, I Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people I, I've got no time for toxic people

Move along, move along, move along, go Let me go to the clouds below 'Cause they're callin' me up to higher ground What a teacup sound, even mighty drown, oh

Take a look outside, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy Take a real good look, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy

Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people Do-do, do-do-do, no time for that, I Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people I, I've got no time for toxic people

[goatpaste]

bro everytime something with lucy happened i was venting to my groupchat and cursing out araki. what the FUCK dude.

ITS REALLY JUST HORRIBLE

lIKE I CANNOT even beGIN to imagine what fucking PLANET araki was on to write all that fucking shit hole FUCK man

HOW WAS THAT ALLOWED

like, lucy in theory was a very fun and silly cute character, who coulda played a good role! but araki chose violence and decided to make sure Lucy never knew a moments peace between either ALWAYS having grown men preying on her or being made to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders

LIKE it SUCks and its not even important to the plot. literally none of that was important

either!! make lucy an adult?? there was no reason she shoulda been 14 if you wanted to have everyone??? so attracted to her??? just! 25! 24! thats all im asking! would made mountain tim more bearable as a character, the shit with the presidents wife, ect ect

also! just!! TAKE THE RAPE SCENES OUT, THEY LITERALLY DO NOTHING FOR THE PLOT ITS JUST UNSAVORY AND ARAKI IN NO WAY OR FORM HAS THE ABILIT TO WRITE ANY NUANCE TO THAT DEGREE

and if you need to have lucy be 14 SOOO bad??

she didnt need to be married to steel. she just didnt, i dont care about whatever bullshit nonesensical loop hole araki built up for that, its WEIRD. the general concept is bullshit, and on top of it i dONT like seeing scenes were lucy and steel are touchy, or kissing or calling each other pet names. i dont care if its an act. their connection didnt need to be that way. and saying "their relationship was more like she was a mother to steel" WAS ALSO WEIRD. SHE IS 14 WHY IS SHE MOTHER THIS 50 YEAR OLD MAN. LIKE

i would WAY faster accepted a narrative of Steels like, assistant or company partner who helped him dream up this grand race was some starry eye big hearted goof ball of a 14 year old who supported him and they had a goofy grandpa and grandkid/coworker thing going on.

and mountain tim was liKE THAT SHIT SUCKED BECAUSE I REALLY LIKED MOUNTAIN TIM. but literally RIGHT before they kill him they pull that shit and its like?? DUDE?? WHATS YOUR PROBLEM

i woulda given ANYTHING for mountain tim to be like an older brother/father figure to lucy and johnny who cared about them and their safety and lack of positive family roles in their life....

THEN THE SHIT WITH THE PRESIDENTS WIFE IS LIKE EUGHGHH WHY!!! and the BULLSHIT they pulled their to force lucy into that role like

what i woulda GIVEN for like either a swap of HP and Lucy were HP seduces the presidents wife to get close to him and THAT coulda been a bit funny the presidents wife being into HP coulda been comedic. and HP woulda have 100% just killed valentines ass

OR even better, Lucy and HP taking that task on together, infiltrating's Valentines house together. HP and Lucy sibling moments.. HP connecting to Lucy and seeing her younger brother in Lucy and tying into her character...

THEN THE WHOLE THING WITH VALENTINE IS SO HORRENDOUS ITS JUST UPSETTING

Valentines character ranges from straight up horrible to just boring. Like he coulda been a fun crazy US president they kill. but hes just, gross and boring. Taking D4C away from him. doesn't deserve such a swag stand

THEN THE SHIT AT THE FUCKING STUPID ASS LAST CHAPTERS WITH ALT DIEGO

like i went from excited for even a semblance for extra diego content to really not fuckin caring. Alt Diego literally was just boring and i dont care about the world like i did Scary Monsters. and he carried none of base world diegos charm.. THE N THEY PULL ONE LAST NASTY SCENE BETWEEN HIM AND LUCY ON THE WAY OUT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ARAKI MY FUCKING GOD MAN

[elysiuminfra]

THANK YOU for calling out the fandom on infantilizing Hyde like oh fucking hell i though I was going insane because nobody else noticed it. Evil alter trope-ifying Hyde is also bad but it’s pretty old in the fandom like. Jekyll being Hyde is like the “Frankenstein was the scientist” of the strange case at this point. But infantilizing Hyde is 1) a recent phenomenon that I know of and 2) more annoying to me. It goes against his canon personality in a more direct way and also has a bad tint of “small adults are cute and funny haha small adults are children” thought… I see this attitude in other fandoms too like the Gotham rogues one in which Jervis (who is a dwarf in some continuities) is treated like a child even though one of his defining traits is being mad that a girl won’t fuck him. It’s so tiring and feels like spitting on the face of the character’s history.

LITERALLY ITS SO TIRING LIKE. he's a grown man. nasty as hell. please for the love of g-d treat him like one. he's a grown man who drinks and fucks and commits acts of violence because he feels like it. he's not a chaotic baby boy. he hurts people and doesn't feel bad about it. not exactly the guy you wanna hang out with. that's like. one of his biggest character traits. also even though we dont rlly see what he gets up to i think he's a freak for sure. probably does ludicrous amounts of cocaine.

also ppl that treat him as "dumber" than jekyll and while i imagine there's less impulse control he's just..... why would he be any dumber. jekyll may have poor impulse control but man's got a doctorate. hyde is just as calculating and studious.

i just dont understand mischaracterizing him when canon hyde is already interesting enough like there's no reason for this tomfoolery. absolutely none. what is the point guys........... like cmon :( we all took english class in highschool :(

[babyybitchhh]

Shigaraki x Reader 18+

Title: Crybaby

Rating: Explicit/R-18+

Words: 12,290

Warnings: I'll be honest and say I'm not entirely sure how to tag some of this so proceed with caution. Infantilization, forced age regression, mental age regression, non consensual regression, ageplay, mentions of baby bottles and pacifiers, coercion, general noncon and dubcon, diddling, vaginal fingering, involuntary urination, wetting, mention of forced third party bathing, diapers, penis in vagina sex, unprotected sex, creampie, excessive use of 'Tomu-nii', mention of sex slaves, a brief but explicitly violent death mention towards the start, overall very questionable decisions from both me and Shigaraki

A/N: I will not be taking any questions at this time, thank you.

( @tomurasprincess)

♥♥♥♥

There was a fine line between a gift and a burden.

A new video game, for example, is something people were generally happy to receive and there was no obligation to slave over it at all hours of the day, unless you wanted to. A puppy, on the other hand, came with a certain amount of responsibility that couldn’t be side lined until Tomura decided to deal with it. There was no save button, no coming back to it later. He had to be vigilant to some degree, mindful of the life that was now in his hands, and that wasn’t something he was accustomed to by any stretch of the imagination. He couldn’t stand it. Didn’t even really possess the vernacular needed to describe exactly how much it pissed him off that he was suddenly expected to take care of someone - something else.

It was bullshit.

Standing over your prone form sprawled out on the cluttered floor he thinks, not for the first time, about ending it right here and now. It would be easy, surely. One touch of his hand and you’d be gone. Disintegrated to mere dust and nothing more than a vague, unpleasant memory in the back of his mind. You deserved it by simple virtue of being such a damn inconvenience but, just as every other time, he hesitates.

Not because you don’t even realize the danger you’re in as you innocently kick your legs back and forth in the air, all your wide eyed, dopey attention locked on the tv screen. Tomura is not so soft as to consider a sneak attack you don’t even see coming an insult to his pride. He would’ve been showing you mercy, actually, because if he didn’t fear upsetting All for One so much he’d have preferred to wrap his hands around your scrawny little neck instead. Give you a good throttle or two. Squeeze until his knuckles were a stark white against your purpling blue skin. He could almost envision what you would look like, all bloated and full of blood from burst capillaries and reddened eyes rolling into the back of your skull.

His cock stirs in his pants and his hatred for you grows with it. He couldn’t stand you or what you represented, a sudden addition to his life that he never asked for but couldn’t get rid of, and the fact he was getting stiff from his morbid fantasies was certainly your fault too. Everything was your fault. Right down to the most minor of inconveniences, you were to blame - even if it happened before you were dropped into his lap with all the to-do of a posh, overly indulgent birthday present. It was you. You, you, you, you you you youyouyouyouyou -

“Tomu-nii?”

With a jolt, he snaps out of it. The haze lifts and his blown out eyes focus in on your tubby little face, now turned over your shoulder to glance back at him. Tomura isn’t sure when you realized he was looming over you like some horrible, sickly wraith and he knows even less how it is that you show no fear towards him. Were you really so stupid that you couldn’t sense his desire to not only kill you but make you suffer? So blind that you didn’t see the way his bony hands fisted at his sides with a purpose and not in idle reflex?

No. It wasn’t that you were as unintelligent as a brain dead sheep happily trotting off to slaughter. Rather, it’s because that was what All for One had designed you to be.

Tomura wouldn’t claim to understand how, exactly, his mentor had gotten these results but he knows enough to recognize the signs. You’d been stripped of everything in a way that far exceeded mere surface level nudity. All for One had gone even deeper than that, past flesh and bone and right into the heart of what made you you. The brain.

He had no doubt that a quirk had been used, the specifics of which he couldn’t even begin to fathom, but the tinkering and rewiring had done its job exceedingly well, in fact. While your body was that of a young adult woman, early to mid 20’s if he had to wager a guess, your mind was something like that of a toddlers. You could speak just fine but the enunciation was sloppy, your words childish and limited to small, easily communicable sentences. You picked up on things surprisingly fast, perhaps even a little too well if the way he’d heard you let out a soft, half hearted ‘fuck’ earlier was anything to go by. But you slipped up just as easily and he was getting real tired of making sure you went and sat on the toilet instead of pissing all over his (no doubt already smelly) carpet. Living in his own mess was one thing. Living in someone else’s was another matter entirely.

Nothing about this was in error, though. You were exactly what All for One intended for you to be - little more than an animal for him to look after but with arguably higher stakes involved - and he’d had enough. It’d only been a single day, a full 24 hours since you were dropped into his room, and he was already at the end of his patience.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like that stupid cartoon I put on for you?”

You actually had the audacity to pout at him, jutting your lower lip out and puffing your cheeks as if that was supposed to make him feel anything other than an even stronger urge to take you out of this world. “S’not that. Mm’ just bored. You’re no fun.”

Tomura very nearly lunges at you with outstretched hands, All for One be damned, but your next words stop him in his tracks.

“I thought maybe you were coming to play with me.”

Play with you? He would’ve laughed if only he could find even a sliver of real humor in this situation. This was a joke, if not because of the absurdity of it all then at least because he wanted to play with you alright. He wanted to play a game that started with you screaming in shrill terror and ended with a chilly body laid out on his bedroom floor. That sounded like more fun than a barrel of kittens.

He stills himself, though, and snobbishly peers at you down the length of his nose. “I don’t play games with brats. Sorry.”

That only makes you pout even more. “Meanie.”

“Watch your fucking cartoon,” Tomura grits out through gnashing, angry teeth, unreasonably irritated by your persistent refusal to cooperate. “Before I make you.”

He isn’t even really sure if that threat makes any sense at this point, so thrown off by your mere presence in what should’ve been his space that he can barely make heads or tails of his own thoughts anymore. But the dramatic way you squawk in displeasure and throw yourself out flat on the floor placates him somewhat. You were easy to rile up, and he would have been a boldfaced liar if he’d said he didn’t get a kick out of that. Tomura had never felt quite so cruel, so much like an adolescent bully looking to make his problems someone else’s as when he was working you up into a proper fit.

It was easily the most enjoyable aspect of this arrangement so far, and he watches with nothing short of smug satisfaction as you pound your hands on the floor in pent up frustration. It was laughably easy to picture what they’d look like, well groomed after a manicure and with a fresh coat of polish on the nails. You looked like you’d probably been the sort of woman who would go with reds. Fierce and bold, as much a statement as your pretty face, which was currently scrunched up and pressed tight against the carpet in front of his tv. Those same hands were plain and unadorned now, squeezed into tight little fists that were about as harmless as they could get. Tomura probably would’ve considered a turtle more of a pressing threat than you right now.

“Crybaby.” He spits the word out like it’s poison. “Does that make you feel better? Huh? Throwing a tantrum just because you’re not getting your way?”

“Mm’ not a crybaby!” You scream into the carpet. The contrast between your plushy figure and your behavior is disturbing on some very real, intrinsic level and that only seems to add fuel to his fire.

“Hah! That’s funny. You certainly look like one, you know that? What would you even think of yourself if you were in your right mind, I wonder.”

“Mm’ not!” Your incessant screeching rises in pitch and Tomura is almost positive you aren’t even really hearing him anymore, but he decides he doesn’t care.

“Embarrassing. Maybe I should have Kurogiri bring me a bottle since you want to act like a baby so much. Or would you like a pacifier instead? Hmm? Would that make you feel better, princess?”

“Nooooo!”

Your feet start kicking the air again, violently rather than in placid distraction, and the motion draws Tomura’s gaze to the seat of your onesie. Pink and humiliatingly infantile for a grown woman to be wearing, he’d looked at it with nothing short of contempt up until now. But the (no doubt exhausting) flex of your legs bunches the loose cotton, making it gather around your upturned ass and in turn emphasizes the convenient button flap across the back. Now that he’s actually looking at it, he’s almost positive it was wide enough to expose your entire rear to the world with little more than a quick snap of his fingers. Maybe even wide enough to expose other things too …

Tomura jolts with all the force of a sudden electric shock when you cry out his name or, rather, the ridiculous moniker you’d given him. He’d like to know who’d planted that particular seed in your head - if it was All for One’s idea of a twisted joke or if Kurogiri had really thought being called niichan by a woman who may or may not actually be older than him would make Tomura feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It doesn’t exactly matter now, though, because the wet quality of your voice makes his cock spring up in his pants. He’s mildly horrified with himself, far more comfortable with his earlier fantasies of killing you, but there’s no helping it anymore. Not when you say his name like that. Not when the tears he’d initially thought were crocodilian at best were so thick and heavy in your throat that the syllables come out garbled and almost incomprehensible.

He’s not sure what he intends to do, but he shuffles closer.

You’ve started to tire out now and the kicking slows before stopping all together. He watches your ankles cross over one another in the air, as if you were trying to self soothe on some level by physically keeping yourself together, but it doesn’t seem to do much in the way of good. Your shoulders were still trembling with the lingering traces of your fit, and he can hear you mewling into the abrasive carpet like a wounded animal. It was clear that you were hurting because of him - and not just as a result of his teasing. After the complete and utter deconstruction of your mind, you were probably scared without even really knowing why. Confused, but too lost in the quirk induced stupor that had left you in this sorry state to seek out answers.

He hadn’t bothered to test this theory yet, but Tomura would have been willing to bet good money that All for One left you with very little inside that thick skull of yours. It just made sense, after all. For what good was a doll with memories of her past life? What would he have possibly gotten out of playing house with someone who fought him every step of the way, either out of embarrassment or repulsion towards him as a person?

No. You were a blank slate in the strictest sense. His to mold however he deemed fit and with no recollection of who you were, who you’d been or even who you’d wanted to be, he was free to do whatever he damn well pleased.

There was still raging contempt for you burning within his chest, certainly. You were an annoying, unnecessary burden on him and there was no getting around the fact that he still wanted you gone. But the spark igniting his gut is even stronger and, for better or worse, it momentarily overrides his better judgement.

So he sinks down onto his knees, directly behind you, and reaches out to tentatively palm the swell of your ass. Pinky held away, so as not to disintegrate you, which surprises him somewhat given how vivid his fantasies of killing you had been. He doesn’t get to linger on that for very long though, because you grow still at his touch and your pathetic sniveling quiets to a soft, almost hopeful sniffle. Tomura bites back a crude snort, just barely managing to catch himself before he backpedals and hisses another insult at you. He could probably take what he wanted with any given method, he didn’t have to be nice about it, but somehow the alternative just felt wrong. Physically you were an adult, but with the mental state of a child it felt a bit like taking advantage of an innocent and he wasn’t a complete monster.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, the word foreign on his tongue. “I shouldn’t have been so mean. Will you forgive me?”

You squirm and push your face further into the carpet. “Mhm.”

He doesn’t smile. But he does take that as an incentive to push forward, and he starts caressing your backside with slow, cautious circles. “Do you really want me to play with you that bad?”

“Mhm.”

Hesitating, Tomura considers his next words very carefully. “Fine. I’ll play with you. But I get to choose the game.”

You don’t immediately respond and he starts to wonder if he’d made a mistake. Overestimated his ability to be diplomatic and conscientious - which wouldn’t exactly have come as a surprise. But then you shift on the floor, tension draining from your body as you turn your head so you aren’t suffocating in the carpet anymore. “Okay.”

His brows lift in surprise only to then knit together. It was that easy? He’s not so sure he trusts it but, dropping his gaze back down to your ass, he gives the doughy soft flesh an experimental squeeze. Your only response is a soft, faltering sigh that seems to help you relax more. This, too, seems a little too good to be true but he keeps going anyway.

When a few minutes of kneading your defenseless backside does nothing to upset you, Tomura starts to get bolder. He slowly brings his opposite hand forward and latches onto the other cheek with four fingers, massaging both sides in tandem. He’d had the unfortunate luck of seeing your bare ass late the previous evening, after you’d emptied your bladder all over the blanket he’d tossed you to sleep on which had resulted in an aggressively administered bath for you and a frustrated headache for him. He hadn’t paid too much attention at the time, far too angry to be horny, but he knew enough to realize that you were unexpectedly voluptuous under that onesie.

The garment itself was so oversized it hid even the smallest hint of the womanly figure underneath. He probably would’ve forgotten all about it, pushed to the back of his mind in favor of more pressing matters (like getting rid of you) but now that he’s got his hands on your butt it’s all he can think about. The way your full tits jiggled when he’d non too gently manhandled you into the tub. The frustratingly cute lower belly pouch that bulged when you sat down, crying, on the porcelain surface. The way your thighs molded to whatever position he’d yanked them in so he could hose you off like a filthy stray. He’d actively avoided looking at what was between your legs, in fear of what he’d see as much as stubborn refusal, but looking back on it now he isn’t sure how he hadn’t given in to temptation.

Now, however, he was suddenly more interested than ever in finding out what your pussy looked like and, hooking his long index fingers into the flap, he starts to unlatch it one button at a time.

You make no move to stop him. Don’t even protest or question what he’s doing. It’s almost as if just having his attention on you is enough, and Tomura’s mouth pulls back in a sneer at the mere thought. You were so damn stupid for trusting him like this, completely oblivious or uncaring about what his intentions were. He could be as violent with you as he wanted. He could erase you from this existence with the briefest touch. But you just lay there, your shoulders slowly rising and falling with each even breath you draw, and he can’t decide if that feeling clawing at the back of his throat is hatred or guilt.

But there’s no real reason to stop now, so he carefully peels back the flap of fabric once he’s got it completely unfastened. Bare skin greets him, a perfectly exposed strip of swelling flesh that seems all the more enticing with pink cotton framing it so nicely. He pauses long enough to lick his dry, cracked lips. The weight of his stiff cock strains against the inside of his zipper, twitching eagerly when he reaches out to hesitantly touch your back side again.

The sensation of a real, living person under his fingertips makes his breath come a little faster. Still, you don’t move though and he picks up right where he left off, roughly groping your ass cheeks with barely contained excitement until he gets so vigorous that you whimper.

“Shh. I’ll try not to be so rough.” Tomura shushes you, throaty and barely more than a murmur.

You settle back into place, thankfully, and he takes that chance to spread your cheeks open. He gets a brief glimpse of the puckered hole hidden inside, white hot static racing straight to his groin, and he lets out a rumbling groan. His fingers squeeze into flesh again and he pulls, baring you entirely to his voracious eyes. The tight muscle twitches, winking at him, and his attention drops to the smallest satiny peak of your slit. He can just barely see it, mostly hidden behind the pooling fabric bunched under the swell of your ass, but it’s more than enough to make him feel dizzy.

“Shit,” he sounds winded even to his own ears. “You’ve got such a nice body.”

To his surprise, you actually perk up at that. “Really?”

Tomura almost snaps at you on impulse, so irritated by the sound of your voice that he nearly forgets what he’s trying to do. Quelling himself, though, he tugs at the bottom half of your onesie until he can see the plushy soft lips of your pussy. You look so inviting, so warm and real he can hardly even stand it.

“Really.” He croaks. “How old are you again?”

You seem to think about that. “Mm, I dunno’!”

He frowns. Contemplates that for a long beat. But the coarse hair curling around your slit seems answer enough, for him at least. You weren’t actually a child. You just sounded like one, acted like one, dressed like one. That wasn’t what was getting him so painfully hard though. It was the fact you were a woman, physically, and he’d never gotten to see one up close and personal like this before. Why hadn’t All for One just given him a proper sex slave instead of one that threw tantrums and cried at the drop of a dime? Was this really what his mentor had intended for him to do with you?

“Tomu-nii?”

Drawing a sharp breath, he brings his attention up to bark at you to be quiet but the words catch when he finds you looking at him over your shoulder. He can feel his cheeks starting to warm, suddenly embarrassed.

“What?”

“Why’re you looking at me like that?”

He flounders for a moment. Then, awkwardly clearing his throat, he decides to fall back on his original excuse. “This is the game I mentioned earlier. You wanted to play, right?”

You nod your head, but you don’t look entirely certain about that. “I do but … aren’t games s’posed to be fun? This is boring!”

His mouth presses into a thin line. It hadn’t occurred to him that you might not be content to just idly sit by while he molested your slutty little body, but if it was fun you wanted then he could certainly give you that. “This was just the warm up. Roll over and I’ll show you how to play.”

The way your eyes light up almost makes him regret this decision. It’s too late though, you’re already twisting over on to your back with your elbows braced on the carpet so you can stare up at him. Stupid and expectant.

He clicks his tongue.

Reaching out to grab your wide set hips with only eight of his fingers, he inelegantly drags you closer so that you were nicely slotted between his knees. Your legs curl up as you regard him with nothing short of intense curiosity, lips parting in a silent ‘o’ that very nearly sends him over the edge. You were too pretty for your own good. Much too beautiful to be wearing a pink onesie and acting like a baby. This was such a waste, and he almost feels bad for what All for One did to you.

But he shrugs it off, forcefully, and his delicately poised hands descend on your zipper. Zrrrrrt, straight down the length of your body. It stops directly above your crotch and he reaches up to reverently push the cotton out to the sides and expose the rest of you.

Your tits were even better than he’d initially thought. They were full and heavy, dotted with the most perfect little buds for nipples. Soft and smooth. Tomura’s mouth waters in anticipation and he doesn’t realize how roughly he’s jerking your arms out of the sleeves until you wail dramatically that it hurts.

He’d like to tell you what really hurts is his cock, unbearably hard and trapped inside his pants, but he refrains. Instead, he huffs out an insincere apology and keeps on yanking. He can’t get you undressed fast enough, mesmerized by the way your breasts jiggle and bounce every time he pulls on you. There’s something inherently wrong about this, he knows. It’s so damn obvious you’re not right in the head, that you aren’t of sound enough mind to even understand what he’s doing to you, but he can’t bring himself to stop. Not when you were so willing and pliant under his shaking hands.

Finally managing to wrest the blasted onesie off your kicking feet, Tomura tosses it off to the side and he eagerly sets his sights on your naked body. You should have looked seductive and coy, spread out in front of him with a devious smile curling artfully painted lips as you invite him to have his way with you. Instead, you fitfully squirm, neither seductive nor shy. It’s clear that you have no sense of shame, your artificially infantile brain completely void of the concept and even less aware of how inappropriate any of this was. You just keep looking at him, waiting for the explanation he’d promised to give you.

Oh. That’s right. The game he kept talking about. Perhaps he could still salvage this after all.

“The rules are simple,” he says slowly, scrambling to put together a decent excuse to keep going. “I’ll touch you for a little bit and if I can make you feel good then I win. After that, it’ll be your turn. If you make me feel good, you’ll win. Understand?”

Your expression pinches in confusion. “So we both win?”

“Only if we make each other feel good. What’s wrong? You don’t want to play with me anymore?”

Much to his relief, you quickly bob your head. “I do! Please play with me, Tomu-nii!”

The way his cock jolts at that makes his entire body ache. It’s much too late to turn back now, he was well past the point of salvation, and he haltingly drags his attention down to your chest. Your petite nipples had stiffened in the cool air but it’s as if you don’t even notice. Wasn’t that something a grown woman would be conscious of? He thinks so, or at least he’s pretty sure it is. Apparently it isn’t the sort of thing a dumb baby brain even registers, though, and he reaches out to curiously flick at one.

You gasp, eyes widening slightly. Misplaced hope sears his veins and he watches you intently, holding his breath, but you don’t seem to understand what it is you’re feeling. Your brows furrow as you glance down at yourself and bring a hand up to cover your nipple.

“Oww …”

That certainly wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. Or at least it wasn’t the sort of reaction Pornhub had taught him to expect, but it was still something.

“Baby.” He grumbles, reaching for the opposite tit.

“Mm’not!”

“Are too. Didn’t that feel good?”

“No!”

“Then you’re winning, aren’t you?”

Confusion marches across your face for a moment before understanding dawns. You look quite pleased now as you track the movement of his hand as he carefully pinches your puckered nipple between thumb and forefinger, gently rolling it between the pads. He doesn’t get an immediate reaction out of you but the longer he does it the more your lips start to purse. It’s as if you were holding back, determined not to show him that you might be enjoying it and risk losing the game, but it’s enough to embolden him.

His ministrations pick up and he gives your delicate little teat a mild twist. There’s no malice or cruelty behind the action. He just wants to see what you’ll do. And you don’t disappoint, the way you jump and your mouth flies open as if to squawk making his stomach clench with something perverse. You catch yourself at the last second though, teeth clacking together as your gaze flits up at him to see if he’s looking.

He is, of course, and you forcibly swallow the sound you’d almost let out. Tomura is a bit disappointed, sure. He’d wanted to hear how pretty you’d moan for him but there were still plenty of other chances for him to coerce at least one out of you.

Hunching over your prone body, he brings his other hand up to latch onto the opposite nipple, the one he’d previously flicked. You wince at the contact but make no move to stop him, biting down on your lower lip to keep quiet as you watch him play with your fat tits in petulant silence. It was ass backwards in so many ways. He’d thought, despite everything, his first time with a girl would be somewhat normal. Maybe not picture perfect or all that good when everything was said and done, but at least relatively mundane. This was the farthest thing from that though. He couldn’t conceive of a more wildly abnormal scenario even if he’d tried, nor did he recall ever seeing any porn with this hyper specific set up. But there was still some sick, twisted part of him that was deriving pleasure from this decidedly unorthodox encounter with the opposite sex, and that feeling only grows exponentially the more he keeps going.

Kneading, pinching, squeezing, tugging. He doesn’t let up until your nipples are flushed dark and straining hard, the glistening hint of tears at the corners of your eyes telling him beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was getting somewhere. The urge to call you a crybaby swells in his chest again but he doesn’t want to risk another tantrum. He wasn’t so sure his cock could handle it, particularly not when he’d positioned himself over you in such a way that one solid kick would put him out of commission for the foreseeable future. No, this was a delicate situation that required the utmost care on his part and, gathering his nerves, he swoops down to cover one of the stiff buds with his mouth.

The heated gasp that bursts out of you in a great woosh has him groaning into the meaty swell of your tit. You shudder underneath him, involuntarily twitching as he traces your areola with the tip of his tongue and laves it in warm, wet attention. He can tell that you’re not sure what to do so he waits with bated breath, reveling in the fleshy nub pinched between his lips. There was no reason for him not to squeeze every last drop of enjoyment he could get out of this while he could, after all - but then your hands find his hair, threading into wavy locks, and he throbs for you.

“Tomu-nii …”

He practically sinks into you, damn near suffocating himself in the plushy swell of your breast. His mouth opens wide and sucks more of you past his lips, suckling enthusiastically just like the infant you were programmed to be. This particular role reversal doesn’t even seem to register in your mind though and he seethes when you tug at his hair, trying to pull him off.

“St-aaahp …. I don’t like it!”

Tomura comes up off you with a wet gasp. “Bullshit.” He practically growls, narrowing his eyes at your dopey, flustered expression.

“It’s true! I don’t!”

“Oh? Should we check then?”

Your face scrunches and you draw a breath to question him, but he doesn’t give you the chance. Going back up on his knees, he plants one hand against the meat of your inner thigh and shoves it wide. His other darts between your legs before you can react, spindly digits finding your bare cunt and prodding at your folds with rough fingertips. You jolt at the contact but it’s too late. He barely has to touch you to feel the slick oozing out of you and he lets loose a harsh bark of laughter.

“My ass. You’re fucking soaked. You shouldn’t lie, you know.”

“I didn’t!” You gasp, clearly offended by the insinuation. “You’re just a fucking meanie!”

That gives him pause.

Glancing up at your face, Tomura regards you carefully as he tries to figure out his next move. On one hand it was his own fault for saying that word around you so much and it’s not like it was any of his business what you did or didn’t say, but on the other … there was something uncomfortable about hearing that come out of your mouth with such a childish inflection. It lacked any and all bite, not even a hint of impotent aggression to be found. You were just parroting him, that’s all, but for whatever reason he didn’t really appreciate it.

“Don’t say that.” He huffs, turning his attention back to your pussy.

Tomura had wanted to leave it at that, but of course you have to fight him every step of the way.

“Why not?” You ask rather flippantly.

“Because i said so. If you want to get smart, be my guest. I know how to handle bratty little girls like you.”

He’s a bit surprised when that actually shuts you up. Apparently, he was starting to get the hang of this but he still has to sneak a quick peek at you just to make sure. The fact you actually look contemplative, as if you were turning that over in your empty head, almost makes him laugh.

“Do you still want to play?” God, he sorely hoped you did.

You hesitate though, unwilling to give your acquiescence just like that. “When is it my turn?” You ask warily.

“Soon. I’ve got one more chance to make you feel good and then you can try.”

“Mmm … okay. But I’m not gonna’ lose!”

He’s almost certain you would have already lost if you weren’t such a petulant little thing, but he keeps that to himself. Instead, he once again turns his attention to the spot between your legs. Your puffy slit was noticeably wet, the faint sheen of fluid glistening slightly in the overhead light, and he takes a moment to gently part the curls there. Just as he’d thought. Damp to the touch and only getting wetter. He really was going to have to talk to you about lying especially since, in this particular context, you were cheating. This was a far cry from his video games but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

Swallowing his reprimand for the time being, though, Tomura carefully presses two fingers into the doughy softness of your labia and spreads them apart. He can see now that you were practically drenched in slick arousal, thin threads of discharge stretching across your petal soft folds before snapping. He gulps down his nerves. You really did have the prettiest pussy he’d ever seen and the fact it was all his for the taking very nearly had him creaming in his pants right then and there. It was almost obscene how bad he wanted to fuck your tampered brains out but he didn’t want to scare you into noncompliance. He wasn’t going to fight for this if he didn’t have to.

Slowly, so as not to startle you, he brings his other hand close and prods at where he thinks your clit should be. He’d certainly seen them in enough triple X videos to have some idea of where to look, but when all you do is let out a soft sigh he knows he’s mistaken.

His teeth gnash in high strung irritation as he walks his finger lower and then higher, feeling a bit like a blind fool searching for buried treasure. There were so many fleshy ridges and folds that he couldn’t pinpoint the right spot from memory alone, so he has to take his time feeling around instead. He thinks he’s found it for a split second when you shift underneath him, but then he realizes you were simply getting fussy - no doubt bored with all his incessant pawing - and that only angers him further. It shouldn’t have been this damn hard to find!

Impatient now, Tomura roughly swipes his finger up the length of your slit and surprise washes over him when you jolt as if he’d electrocuted you. Your head comes up off the rug and you stare at him, wide eyed, but it was much too late. He’d finally gotten the reaction out of you that he’d been hoping for, and he leans into it with nothing short of devilish delight.

Knowing precisely where to look helps a great deal and it immediately occurs to him that the reason he’d struggled so much is because your clit was still hidden behind its protective hood. But he’s got the advantage now, and he ever so carefully pinches at satiny soft skin until he can ease it back and expose the sensitive little bud nestled inside. You whimper slightly as he does it, squirming awkwardly on your back as if you could instinctively sense that you might be in a bit of trouble now. It was kind of cute, if he was being totally honest.

“I don’t think I like this game …”

“You will. Trust me.”

Clearly not believing him, you start to open your mouth to complain but he stops you cold with a quick flick of his finger. Your engorged clit jostles against the indelicate contact and you blurt out such a startled sound that he actually glances up to make sure you’re okay. Unsurprisingly, you look a little more flustered now and the panic edging your expression is almost enough to make him reconsider this.

Almost, but not quite.

“What’s the matter?” He goads, dropping his gaze back down to your pussy again. “I thought you didn’t like it.”

“I … I don’t …”

“Really? I’m not sure I believe that.”

He does it again, gentler this time. Just a brief tap against the meaty little nub, but it’s enough to make you twitch and try to close your legs from him. Tomura won’t let you back out so easily though and he shifts even closer so he can wedge himself between your thighs to keep them spread. You issue a frustrated, huffy sound that he could only describe as babyish as you try to push up on your elbows, no doubt intending to scuttle away from him. He had to give you credit for being so hard headed even in this infantile state but he was far too invested to quit now.

Letting up his hold on your labia, Tomura directs his fingers lower and wedges three of them into your slit. You freeze, momentarily stunned, and he takes that split second opportunity to feel around for your entrance. It’s not hard to find. Much easier than your clit, at any rate, and he wastes no time wriggling a long digit up inside your body. The penetration is smooth, your guts such a slippery mess that it almost startles him.

You really were a liar.

He suddenly realizes he’s panting. At the same time, he realizes that you don’t appear to be breathing at all. Your expression is about as dumbfounded as it could be, and he dully watches the way you sway in your half upright position. Shellshocked would probably be an appropriate descriptor, and he wets his lips in anticipation.

“Well? Do you like it?”

Your legs flex around his arms and you shake your head. “Nuh … no …”

“If you don’t stop lying to me,” he grumbles. “I’m going to get mad.”

You stiffen, clearly drawing yourself up to challenge that statement just like he’d known you would. It was embarrassing how predictable you could be.

He’s had just about enough of this back and forth though, and he roughly curls his finger upward in search of the spot that would finally shut you up for good. But his efforts only make you more fussy and his patience quickly unravels when you try to twist away from him, wailing in displeasure. He hated that sound and, if you weren’t careful, he’d go right back to hating you too

Grunting, Tomura abandons your clit in favor of latching his hand onto the swell of your thigh and he digs his blunt nails in to keep you still. You actually have the audacity to kick out at him but he puts a stop to that quickly enough by shoving a second finger into your sticky cunt. Just like the first time, it makes you hesitate and he watches your warbling mouth drop open in what he thinks might be pleasure. It’s frustratingly hard to tell with you but, having no other choice, he decides to take it at face value.

Your pussy clicks loudly when he starts pumping into you straight down to the knuckle, the wet squelch almost deafening in his ears. It’s unreasonably hot though, his mind running a mile a minute as he tries to commit every little detail to memory. The way your face screws up with a stuttering gasp, the way you squeeze your eyes shut and try to brace against the pressure of his digits driving into you again and again. The way you moan, even when you try not to, is particularly enticing, especially since it’s just as pretty as he’d hoped it would be. The way your legs shake and you threaten to double over, the way he can see you clutching the carpet in a death grip, the way you just seem to get even wetter for him. There was too much to take in all at once but it was also far too erotic to look away from. He really was going to cream his pants at this rate.

Somehow, your honest reaction appears to make up for all the trouble you’d given him up until now and Tomura can feel the wet spot bleeding through his boxer briefs start to grow. He was positive he’d never been harder in all his life. Animalistic and practically slobbering like a rabid dog, he hunches further over your quaking body and pistons into your cunt so vigorously his arm starts to ache. You were wailing for him to stop, crying out for Tomu-nii, Tomu-nii, Tomu-nii, but he doesn’t even slow down. He can’t.

Your cunt just keeps sucking him in deeper on every plunge, gummy walls pulsating around his no doubt pruning fingers so enthusiastically that he’s sure you’re going to cum. He can practically taste it. Tomura wasn't going to stop until you did and, realizing he doesn’t have to hold onto you any longer, he reaches out to roughly shove you down on your back again.

“Are you going to cream for me, princess? Huh?” He grits out through savagely bared teeth. “Is that what you’re going to do?”

“No! Please, Tomu-nii … it hurts!”

Even in the heat of the moment he can’t stop himself from clicking his tongue in irritation. “No it doesn’t, you big baby. You love this. I know you do. I can see it written all over your stupid, pretty face. Go on. Tell me exactly how good you feel. Do it!”

Wailing, you peer up at him through heavy lashes with a look so imploring it very nearly gives him pause. “I - I can’t! I’m … Tomu-nii, I’m gonna’ … I’m gonna’ pee!”

“No you aren’t. That just means your clo - -“

Tomura cuts himself off when you do exactly that. He’s almost too stunned to react and all he can do is watch as the steady stream of urine bursts out of you before dribbling down his wrist to soak into the carpet underneath. It’s only now, when you’re pissing all over yourself as well as him, that he finally has the decency to slow his pumping to a staggered halt. For a fleeting moment he actually considers the notion of keeping at it. There wasn’t much else you could do to ruin this for him, after all, but one look at your expression immediately quashes that idea.

He’d be lucky if all he could manage was to stop you from dissolving into ugly, heaving sobs, let alone worry about getting himself off. Dammit. You really were nothing but a pain in his ass.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He deadpans, slowly withdrawing his fingers from your cunt now that he was thoroughly coated in warm, smelly piss. “To be honest I was kind of tired of that rug anyway. And these clothes, too.”

You hiccup so sadly that what little bit of anger had sparked inside him immediately dies out. He couldn’t even be mad at you for this no matter how much he may have wanted to blame you for everything. You’d tried to warn him.

“T- Tomu-nii … mm’sorry …”

Tomura sighs through his nose, hard enough to make the split end tips of his hair shift. “Don't be. That was my fault. Just - let me find something to clean us up with.”

“Do I have to take another bath?” You ask so meekly he almost misses it.

Pausing halfway through the motion of rising to his feet, he glances down at you again. It occurs to him quickly enough that it wasn’t the accident you were so upset about but, rather, the looming possibility of another aggressively meted out trip to the bathroom. Interesting. He’d almost think he was mistaken, it had only happened once, after all, but the way your lower lip wobbles tells him everything he needs to know. Apparently you were more scared of him than you’d let on.

“No, not right now. I think I can get you clean enough with a wet rag or something. You’ll have to take one later but,” Tomura scoffs, hating that he was actually trying to be nice after you’d peed all over him. “I’ll try not to be so rough next time. You just made me mad last night, that’s all.”

You nod slowly, looking like you don’t quite believe that, but still too naively trusting to press the matter. “Okay.”

Nodding once, Tomura climbs to his feet. The inner seam of his pants from the knee down is absolutely soaked and he makes it only three steps before deciding he didn’t like them all that much to begin with. Dropping his hand to the rough denim, he brushes all five fingers across the thigh and they dissolve into nothing without a second thought to the matter. He can faintly hear you ooohing behind him but there were much more important things to worry about than how easily impressed you were.

His half flagged cock throbs hopefully inside his boxer briefs and he reaches down to delicately adjust himself. God, he’d be aching for the next week thanks to your uncontrollable bladder.

An idea pops into his head with that thought. You weren’t the only thing he’d been saddled with yesterday, and he turns to regard the thick gym bag he’d previously thrown against the far wall in anger. It’s where he’d gotten your pink onesie after you’d similarly soiled the first pair of clothes you’d been wearing. He hadn’t bothered to look through all of its contents just yet, but he felt relatively confident he’d find what he wanted in there.

Circling back around, Tomura squats in front of the bag and yanks it open. He can feel your eyes watching him from your spot on the floor but he pays it no mind. Digging inside, he pulls out a few more articles of clothing, far too cutesy for his tastes, and then a book on child care that he knows for certain was put there in jest. Over his shoulder it gets chucked, and he digs deeper. Down at the very bottom he finds exactly what he’d been looking for.

But in addition to the baby wipes there are two other items that catch his attention. He outright balks at the very notion - however, realistically speaking, it could very well be the answer to his problems. At least the most pressing one, anyway.

The idea that All for One knew he’d likely run into this issue but still decided to dump you on him anyway bothers Tomura a great deal and he frowns even as he looks over the packaging. Diapers and pull ups. What was the difference? He’s not so sure there is one, and he feels almost certain that they serve the same purpose. But further inspection proves him wrong. One was for a total lack of control and the other was for the potty training stage, so not as thick or absorbent. That’s what the packing said but, at any rate, they definitely weren't the plain adult brands he was looking at here.

These were bright and colorful, and he can’t help but cringe at the thought of putting you in either of them. But he was still left with a very real concern that he simply couldn’t overlook. The fact he even had to make this decision at all was ridiculous but he couldn’t very well have you pissing on every available surface in his room. And given your track record of absolutely drenching whatever you happened to be sitting on at the time …

Hesitantly, Tomura takes out the diapers and shuffles towards his unkempt bed. The print on the back wasn't particularly clear about what to do with them. He’d probably have to look up a tutorial later, when he wasn’t feeling quite so downtrodden and his balls weren’t aching, though that would certainly put him on a few watch lists. Not that it really mattered.

He sighs and tosses the package on top of his sheets before tearing into the baby wipes. Taking his time, he methodically scrubs his wrist and his legs clean while he contemplates his next move. It wasn’t going to be pretty. It certainly wasn’t going to be sexy. It was still probably the lesser of two evils, though. Far be it that he wanted to go this route but did he really even have any other choice at this point?

“Tomu-nii …”

Your soft whining draws him back to reality and, abruptly realizing you’ve been sitting in your own piss this entire time, he turns to look back at you. For a split second, he seriously considers just killing you right then and there. It would save him a lot of trouble and you wouldn’t even realize what was coming. You were so stupid you’d probably think he was going in for a hug or something asinine like that. He’d be doing you a favor, really, because as far as he was concerned, death was certainly preferable to wearing diapers but … the urge fizzles out almost as quickly as it had appeared. He wasn’t going to let you slip out of his hold until after he’d gotten to bury himself in that tight, pretty little pussy of yours.

Decision made, Tomura makes his way over to the carpet again. You look cold, which doesn’t exactly come as a surprise, and he bends down to grab the meat of your upper arms so he can drag you up to your feet. “Come on. I think I’ve got a solution.”

Your brows furrow slightly. “Salution?”

“Close enough.”

Steering you over to the bed, he makes you bend over the mattress so he can take a baby wipe to the backs of your thighs and ass. Luckily, depending on how you looked at it, the urine had run down rather than going every which direction so it was pretty easy to clean up. The way you tremble and shift your weight back and forth makes it a bit more difficult than it needed to be but he manages, somehow.

Tomura straightens after a long moment, finally deeming the back of you good to go. He’s not so sure he can get through this next part when you were fidgeting so much, though, and he briefly considers the clothes in the gym bag. The thought of putting you in another girly, saccharine sweet garment repulses him almost as much as the thought of putting you in a diaper. But he was going to have to pick and choose his battles here and, reaching back, he delicately tugs off his t-shirt.

“Turn around.”

You slowly comply, teeth chattering the whole time.

“Arms up.”

At this, you hesitate. But at his expectantly bland look, you do as you're told and raise your arms up in the air. The lift of your heavy tits almost successfully distracts him and it is with a great deal of self control on his part that he pulls his shirt down over your head, yanking it a little too forcefully into place.

“There.” He practically hisses, watching you clumsily work your arms through the sleeves. “Is that better?”

You think about that for a moment, eyes scanning across the front of his shirt, and he briefly wonders if you’re going to say something derisive about the worn video game logo stretched across your chest. But then you smile, nodding your head a little too enthusiastically.

“Mm! It smells like Tomu-nii!”

He really couldn’t stand you.

“Good. In return, I’ll need you to cooperate with me here. I’ve never done this before, you know?”

You blink at him quizzically. “Done what?”

Tomura rolls his eyes, feeling grumpier by the second. He couldn’t wait to get this over with and have you situated so he could run off to the bathroom for what probably wouldn’t even amount to five minutes of desperate jerking. “Never mind. Just do what I tell you, okay?”

You nod your head again, but he has some very real doubts about that. Even when you were pretending to go along with whatever it was he wanted you still found some way to fuck everything up for him. If this scheme somehow backfired because your brain was so scrambled you couldn’t even follow simple directions, he was not going to be happy.

Mentally bracing himself for the worst possible outcome, he reaches for the diapers. He rips the bag open almost violently and pulls one out, but it feels even more wrong in his hands than he’d thought it would. A strange sense of scandalized affront warms his chest, making him reconsider this choice for the upteenth time. If Tomura was being completely honest, he felt embarrassed for you but a quick glance in your direction proves that you don’t share quite the same sentiment. You really couldn’t have cared less, huh?

Right. Baby brain.

He grumbles under his breath as he non too gently snaps the diaper open with a loud crinkle of plastic and lays it out close to the edge of his bed. Motioning you closer, Tomura awkwardly helps you get seated on the damn thing and then instructs you to lay down. You genuinely don’t seem to have a problem with this as you recline back, just placidly peering up at him with your little fists balled in the hem of his shirt, but now that he’s gotten this far he’s not sure how to proceed.

At a loss, he takes another baby wipe out of the package and inserts himself between your bent legs. “I’m going to clean you some more, okay?” He's not sure why he’s telling you that, especially when all you do is nod your dopey head in understanding. Just buying time. That’s all he was doing.

But it gives him a chance to think and for that he’s grateful. Try as he might, he couldn’t seem to figure out what All for One’s intention with all this had been. ‘A splendid birthday present for my favorite pupil’, he’d said, as if there were any others. But what was the reason? Surely you weren’t actually supposed to be a sex slave for him. Not in this sorry state. His battered onahole did a much better job on that front and it wasn’t prone to tantrums or crying, and it certainly didn’t pee on his stuff. It also didn’t require more than a perfunctory cleaning every few months. He couldn’t very well shove you into his nightstand and forget about it until the next time he was in the mood to rut into something.

All that was true, yes, but … his onahole also wasn’t warm to the touch, and it didn’t have soft, curly hair framing its abused slit (he really should buy a new one) nor did it self lubricate. It didn’t squeeze him quite the same way your pussy had squeezed his fingers, and it didn’t even really feel like an actual vagina now that he had something to compare it to. You were soft and squishy, pliable in the way only flesh and blood could be, and although he had no way of knowing if this had been All for One’s plan or not, he was certainly self aware enough to recognize that he’d screwed up somewhere along the line.

Tomura absolutely should have turned you to dust while he still had the chance.

Licking his lips, he drags the wipe through the seam of your cunt much more slowly than he needed to. You don’t even stir on the bed, and he thinks you must be starting to doze after … all of that. He’s not quite ready to leave well enough alone yet though, and he gently presses down on the spot where he now knows your clit is hiding. Still using the moist towelette as a pretense to keep touching you like this, he circles the sensitive little bud with it and genuine surprise washes over him when you let out a soft, pleasant sigh.

He glances up at your face but you aren’t even looking at him, lashes fanned out against the apples of your cheeks. It’s hard to tell if you were actually asleep or just pretending so you could lull him into a false sense of security, yet he doesn’t particularly care one way or another. You were his so he could do whatever he wanted to you, right? Besides. You kind of owed him after pissing all over his hand like that.

Discarding the baby wipe, Tomura bends closer and carefully spreads your labia again. He could see your little hole weakly palpitating, beckoning him to pick back up where he’d left off, but he drags his gaze a bit higher instead. You were so velvety soft and smooth it bordered on insane, so much more inviting than he ever would have thought possible.

He briefly hesitates before throwing caution aside and sealing his lips around your clit, gently mouthing at it. Your plushy thighs twitch around his head as you shift on top of the mattress, letting out another breathy sound that rushes straight to his cock. It almost hurts, the way it so eagerly springs back to life after being denied something as simple as release, but he can’t find it in himself to complain. You were giving him another chance, knowingly or not, and he wasn’t the type to squander such an opportunity.

Tomura takes his time lapping at you over the next few minutes until you’re almost as wet as when he’d started. You taste heavenly even with the artificial flavor of the wipes clinging to your folds and he entertains the notion of eating you out until you cum all over his face. There’s something he wants even more than that, though, and he sighs in relief when he finally straightens up so he can fish his cock out. It was almost painfully sensitive to the touch, and he could feel it throbbing potently in his hand. He knew this probably wasn’t going to last long but he didn’t care.

Guiding himself to your waiting entrance, he slowly pushes in one fraction at a time, damn near blowing his load the second his glans disappears into your body. He holds back though, struggling to maintain his composure as he seethes through gritted teeth. You finally seemed to realize that something was going on and your pretty eyes flutter open, immediately searching out his face.

“Tomu-nii …?”

“Be quiet. I’ve got you.”

You accept that in lieu of an explanation surprisingly fast, at least by his standards, and without another word you sleepily glance down at the juncture where your bodies were connected. A slow inhale makes your chest rise, mouth falling open as if to groan. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck,” the sound rattles out of Tomura’s chest as he slides in right down to the base, toes flexing against the floor. “I’m not even gonna’ get to enjoy this.”

Brows knitting together, you let out the softest mewling sound he’s ever heard and it makes him dig his carefully poised fingers deeper into the meat of your hips. He can’t even bring himself to move, so overwhelmed by how soft and wet your guts are. It felt like you were massaging his length, involuntarily or not, as your pussy suckles at the tip like he’s almost positive your mouth would.

Softly wheezing, Tomura drops his chin to look at where the two of you were stuck together. His pelvis was so flush against yours that your pudgy cunt was molded to the front of him, squishing under the pressure, and his silvery pubes were tangled with your darker ones. He hadn’t expected such a sight to be so damn erotic and it has him twitching, fighting back the orgasm he’d gone through hell and back for.

He’s almost scared to do it but, slowly, he eases back. The way his cock gradually reappears, glistening obscenely now, very nearly sends him over the edge. He isn’t sure how he hasn’t ruptured yet, his ballsac drawn so tight and throbbing that it leaves him feeling lightheaded, but through sheer force of will alone he manages to sink back into the inviting heat of your body without spraying your insides white. His self control was tentative as best, hanging on by a mere thread, but you felt far too good to waste on a quick nut.

“Goddamn … you’re so tight, baby. So fucking tight.”

You fidget underneath him, fussily tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Mm’ not a baby …”

Your pouty little response is enough to make him bark out a clipped laugh, more breathless than amused. You could insist you weren’t a baby all you wanted but, even putting aside the cruel, infantile reprogramming of your brain, it was hard to think otherwise when you were spread out on top of a diaper. It’s stark white, cottony lining was an almost unsettling backdrop to the perfect view he had of his cock stuttering in and out of your slick cunt. Even when he was barely moving, it crinkled softly underneath you with each rocking motion of his hips and he couldn’t quite forget it was there no matter how hard he tried.

Tomura wasn’t sure what he would ultimately do with you and he knew even less why he was even entertaining this wildly absurd situation to begin with, but there was no denying that you did have some use. The clinging grip of your pussy, for starters, and if he could get that bratty mouth of yours under control he might even some day find your company bearable. He still didn’t particularly like you but it wasn’t so farfetched to think that he might be able to tolerate you, with enough effort.

Hissing through his teeth, he drags one of his hands down to spread your puffy lips apart and get a good look at the way your petal soft folds clutch to his cock. It was a mesmerizing visual in the worst possible way, especially when accompanied by the soft, wet clicking he pulls from your body. He could have watched this for hours on end but, realistically, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, and he gives his wrist a brief twist to bring the middle finger down on your clit.

You twitch at the contact but Tomura takes a much more gentle approach this time, sedately drawing circles around the swollen bud. He doesn’t get much in the way of a reaction for his trouble so he just keeps at it, rubbing you in tandem with his staggered thrusts. The thought of making you cum around his cock is almost disturbingly enticing, but he isn’t so sure he can accomplish that. Not when so much of his focus was devoted to simply biting back his orgasm - but then, to his throbbing surprise, you draw a faltering breath.

“Tomu-nii … feels good …”

It’s as if the air had been punched right out of him. He isn't so sure he even believes his own ears, the blood suddenly pounding inside of them making it hard to hear much of anything. He groans though, thick and heavy as he slides his other hand up across your stomach to push at the bottom of his shirt. Your grip on the soft cotton momentarily tightens, still fighting him at every turn, but you give in almost immediately and allow him to shove it over the swell of your tits.

They’re moving, jiggling ever so slightly with the push and pull of his narrow hips as they quietly slap against the backs of your thighs. Tomura heaves, practically doubling over you with another throaty moan that rises in pitch at the tail end. His palm descends on one of your breasts, squeezing hard enough that the pliable flesh bulges and spills out between four of his fingers. You just stare up at him the entire time, face pinched and flushed while your glistening eyes dreamily watch him with a far off sort of quality that he’s sure must be - has to be pleasure.

He’d never seen anything sexier in his whole life, and that thought alone is far more terrifying than he could have ever guessed it would be. There was something wrong with you, yes, by All for One’s design. But there was something even more inherently wrong with him for getting off on this so much and without the added bonus of quirk tampering to excuse his behavior. You were so sweet and unfairly innocent despite your seductive figure, the sight of you naked save his bunched up t-shirt driving him absolutely wild. It was like you belonged here, with him, in his bed. It wasn’t that he no longer wanted to kill you but that he couldn’t.

What little bit of self control he’d still been clinging to up until now shatters, and Tomura snaps his hips into your upturned ass: once, twice, three times. The sticky squelching between your bodies increases in volume, echoing inside his skull like a ricocheting bullet as he watches your face screw up at the sudden force. It doesn’t even matter though. He’s long since reached his limit and, with a wounded grunt, he slams into you one final time, lurching over your prone body.

The sound that comes out of his mouth as he shudders and violently paints your pink guts is, frankly, embarrassing. But he’s riding a high too great to care, clinging to you hard enough to make his joints ache and you whimper in discomfort. He can’t stop though. He’s cumming so hard, pulse after pulse, that it feels like his soul actually slips out of his body for a worryingly long beat before returning in fragmented pieces. The same, but also somehow different. Like he’d experienced rebirth in the warm, comforting clutch of your drenched cunt.

He wheezes as if he’d been stabbed in the chest when he finally eases his softening cock out of you some time later.

Tomura was completely spent, both physically and mentally. His wobbly legs could hardly support his weight anymore but, with a strength of mind he hadn’t even realized he possessed, he directs a shaky finger to your clit again. You squirm in response, huffing after that rough treatment, but he soothes you with hushed words and a gentle touch to the delicate little pearl he barely even needs to brush against to have you shaking for him.

“Relax. You feel good, don’t you? Let me hear those pretty sounds again, baby.”

Obstinately, you purse your lips together to deny him even that one simple request. Tomura heaves a tired sigh, wishing you weren’t such a brat, but he doesn’t let up. The gentle circles he rubs into your clit with the pad of his finger slowly brings you around though, grudgingly, and he can’t quite deny the satisfaction that sparks in his throat when your mouth warbles open to let loose the sweetest, tiny moan he’s ever heard.

“Nngh … Tomu-nii …!”

“Don't fight it. I want you to feel good too, yknow.” He pauses, tongue glancing over his dry lips. “Will you cum for me, sweetheart?”

You shake your head, eyes screwing shut, but the way your body continues to tense up seems to suggest otherwise. He could tell you were practically thrumming with it, burning from the inside out even as his milky white discharge slowly oozes down your slit to pool in the seat of the diaper. It was unexpectedly exciting to watch, disproportionately naughty given how utterly unappealing the crinkly plastic was at first glance, and he picks up the pace of his rubbing.

“I think you’re lying again. You liked how it felt when I was inside you, right? This will be even better, I promise. You’ll love it. I know you will.”

Weakly writhing on top of his bed, you crack your eyes open to peer up at him again. “T - Tomu-nii … I can’t … ahh. Ahh. Ahh! I … I’m … ahh! Tomu-niiiii!”

You suddenly jerk, tossing your head back against the sheets, and he watches in rapt fascination as you quake so hard it nearly catches him off guard. It wasn’t the seductive, rolling tremors he was used to seeing in porn videos but, rather, a full bodied spasm that had you twisting as if to get away. Your thighs try to clamp shut around his hand but he elbows them apart, refusing to let up until he’d milked your orgasm as thoroughly as you’d milked his.

And you looked so pretty, too. Caught up in mind numbing pleasure so intense he couldn’t even begin to fathom what you were feeling. Even his own earth shattering release seemed to pale in comparison to this, and it takes you much longer to start coming down from it than it did him.

Your hair is a mess by the time you’re done, matted in some places and sticking to your damp forehead in others. For a fleeting moment, Tomura can almost see the adult woman you should have been when your face goes slack in ecstasy and your flushed lips were parted to suck in as much oxygen as you could get. He imagines you were probably no stranger to pleasures of the flesh, not with that body and those looks, so the thought that he could make you feel this good was a bit like a pat on the back for him. It was probably just beginners luck, but that didn’t stop him from feeling any less proud of himself.

Slowly, he takes his hands off you and steps back. The spot between your legs was absolutely covered in fluid, your sticky, copious slick mixing with his spunk to make a truly viscous concoction that clung to your damp curls. He thinks that he should probably clean you up again and reaches for the baby wipes, but stops himself short.

The idea that crosses his mind is very likely foul, perhaps even more offensive than anything else he’d done til now, but … a quick glance at your sloppy pussy proves too great a temptation. There was something inherently erotic about making you walk around with his semen dripping out of you, even if it was only going to be absorbed by the diaper, and he shuffles close again with his heart in his throat.

Tomura hasn’t the slightest clue what he’s doing and it takes him a long moment to figure out the tape tabs on the sides. He gets frustrated halfway through the process, struggling to make sure the crinkly plastic was secure enough around your waist, but by some miracle you stay relatively still through all of his fumbling. He isn’t quite sure how he got so lucky but he doesn’t stop to question it, hawkishly focusing all of his attention on the task at hand.

At length, he straightens to admire his work. It’s not perfect by any means but he’s pretty sure the damned thing wasn’t going to fall off as soon as you stood up so there was that. The diaper itself was just as obnoxiously girly as everything else in the gym bag; a soft, lilac purple with a flowery, cartoon bunny design on them. He didn’t mind the rabbits so much, and it was certainly preferable to the onesie, but he still thought you’d look nice in something a bit cooler.

The realization that he was thinking about this in such quaint, fuzzy terms chills Tomura to the bone, and his gaze flicks to your face so he can ask what you think of them. Even if only to distract himself from his own uncomfortably perverse change of heart.

But you were already asleep. He probably should have expected as much, and he could tell you were actually snoozing this time by the shallow, even rise and fall of your chest. A strange sense of embarrassment washes over him and he reaches out to delicately take the hem of his shirt between thumb and finger so he can tug it back down into place. You only snuggle further into the mattress though, getting comfortable, and further cementing the notion that he had, indeed, fucked up.

He’d never be able to get rid of you now.

Grumbling under his breath, Tomura leans over you with one hand braced on the mattress. The other slips between your legs, unable to squeeze shut now with the bulk of the diaper between them, and ever so carefully cups his palm over your crotch. It was cool to the touch, but if he pushed down hard enough he could feel the warmth of your body bleeding through. You let out a quiet huff in response, petulant towards him even in your sleep, and he can’t quite stop himself from laughing. It was absurd. It was strange. It was strikingly, unequivocally weird, but he was almost glad he hadn’t disintegrated you or strangled you to death.

This wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind when he’d wished for a woman he could do with as he pleased and not have to worry about her running away, but … it was close enough, he supposed.

[ohmygodtheywereparabatai]

Salt Takes: The Double Standard of Child/Adult Soldiers

—

The last thing I want to do is get tangled in ATLA fandom drama, but I choose violence, so short and sweet it is.

This scene.

People race to defend Azula here, claiming she was a child who didn’t understand the full atrocity of what she was witnessing. That she was molded from the beginning to believe her cold sneer and clutched fist were her faith in justice served showing. Then all fingers point to Zhao as the grown adult who displays full-blown sadism.

Cool. So, er, half-assed interpretation and apologism at its finest.

Look, ya big brained. You want to pick apart early psychological development in the Fire Nation princess? Great. You’re onto something. But this scene, at face value, is blatant characterization. Azula has no remorse. She thinks what she’s seeing is deserved. These statements can and should co-exist before further analysis, because the first statement is visibly, directly implied for seven year olds to pick up on and file away.

Kids’ show. Aired on Nickelodeon. 6-11-year-old demographic. Gucci? Gucci.

Zhao, on the other hand, is the bass-boosted version of S1 Zuko. He’s not a child soldier, damnit, but he is a soldier.

When Zuko knocks him down in their Agni Kai, the instinct to, uh, avoid getting your face burned off is overridden because he acknowledges the hand dealt to the loser, stares right back at him, and says - “Do it.”

A bit gorey to imagine what would have happened if Zuko obliged.

When they face off in the North, Zhao makes his position clear: “You're the Blue Spirit, an enemy of the Fire Nation! You freed the Avatar.”

“You should have chosen to accept your failure, your disgrace. Then, at least, you could have lived!”

So aside from the fact that he is, by definition, doing his duty by dispatching a disgraced prince responsible for treacherous action... it’s also his character. Azula is as driven to perfection and loyalty for her nation as she is conniving and vicious. Zhao is as driven to immortalizing himself in history and bulldozing the enemies in the Fire Nation’s path as he is a smug, walking dick. They’re both every inch the product of an imperialist agenda as they are the villains of their respective seasons. They’re bad, they’re rotten, but they’re soldiers.

To drag the comics into this for a moment, the vilification of the other nations began as early as pre-genocide. Soldiers were brainwashed into associating the Avatar and his people with their own doom. It’s no mind-blowing inference that the same notions were hammered into cadet Zhao, or that little Azula was spoon-fed the same story.

Shifting the lens when they’re in the same shot - assigning sadist status to one and victim status to the other, ain’t gonna fly. Try again.

Ahh, and someone was slick enough to point this out, but Iroh’s flinch in this scene, next to Azula’s fist of satisfaction?

Oop!

Perspective is so funny, isn’t it?

Next thing - the godforsaken ‘Zhao is a creep’ angle.

I don’t even want to dig my fingers into this one. This take is so obviously for purposes of Zuko whump that I’m going to spare myself the loss of braincells. While I have nothing against exploring this in fic, don’t even try to tell me it’s rooted in canon. It’s 100% true that interpretations of source material are infinite, but that doesn’t mean all of them are right.

What happened to the creep angle during this scene? Oh, yeah, it sparked hot, steamy Zucest.

I found about two to three sources while hunting down these images alone that (aptly) explained Azula’s sexualization as a “temptress” femme fatale-esque character, and even touched on Grey DeLisle’s sultry voice acting that did nothing for the portrayal of a fourteen year old girl. I’ve got nothing against any ship as long as the shippers are respectful... but hmm, do I spy another Zhao-Azula double standard?

(You okay back there, Iroh?)

Oooohh nooo, it’s the predator eyeing his next prey!! It just can’t be Jason Isaacs’ “wonderful, cunning evil vibe” poured into another role... Do I have to pull up several Lucius Malfoy/Harry Potter oneshots based on the scene where he hooked his cane on his shoulder to show you how asinine this take is?

Azula and Zhao both target Zuko’s insecurities to get a rise out of him. Azula and Zhao are both complicit in the conquering of the Earth Kingdom. Azula and Zhao both believe (respectively) that they were given divine right, that they wield the superior element. Azula and Zhao both grin like maniacs while Zuko is getting his face torched - it’s who they are. They align so closely that exploring the weight of a poisoned upbringing, deadly ideals, and raw firebending power drawn from a different root than the first masters is impossible without owing consideration to both characters. Both their arcs end in fucking insanity. Nationalism does that to people. Talk to me about that next time.

Jesus. I need a cold shower. Thanks for reading.

[fairycosmos]

someone mentioned a few days ago that it's so funny how "cancelling" literally started as a joke amongst teenagers on social media and now grown ass adults are using it as like the basis of their political beliefs or whatever and just sknjsks it's true. it's true. i fucking cannot believe that people legitimately think cancel culture exists like I won't pretend sometimes small mistakes get exaggerated by people for woke points but people legitimately think calling out people for racism/homophobia/transphobia/pedophilia is cancel culture like HOW did we get to this point?? and no celebrity has ever lost their money or jobs for being bigoted like its really not a fucking thing outside of the internet. i wish the internet wasn't so prevalent that people think it's exactly reflective of reality. like james gunn made pedophilia "jokes" and (temporarily) lost his job and people were like "ugh that was TEN years ago cancel culture is so vile" like ten years ago the man was thirty years old??? thirty years old and making jokes about having sex with children and you think he shouldn't face consequences? absolutely absurd

omg EXACTLY!!! speak on it literally literally literally. if i could paste this on every billboard on planet earth i would dude. it is insane. it’d be funny if it wasn’t having real world consequences. seeing actual politicians and like, esteemed journalists even uttering the words cancel culture in any serious capacity - pissbabies. literal pissbabies who see genuine issues that have been prevalent in society for centuries as nothing more than internet talking points. acting as if cancel culture is some deadly exaggeration of PC culture or whatever the fuck they call it, acting like ppl are being policed and silenced because the younger generations r just that sensitive - HELLO they’re not the one manufacturing outrage so they have a controversial topic to monetize and complain about??? and if they would look up from facebook for two fucking seconds they would see that the people being monitored and censored are not the famous rich white conservatives who cry ab this shit. i literally think half the time ppl just like the weird sense of superiority they get by being able to say well I’M not offended. even though the very ppl who say that usually get triggered by marginalized groups just existing. also it’s so clear they’re just doing it to further polarize serious issues nd divide the working class. case in point there was a million different headlines the other month about how gen z were cancelling dr suess waaaa!! what was actually happening was that some of his works were being recalled from shelves because they had literal racist tropes in them. they are ridiculous. any excuse to get away with normalizing oppressive structures by painting any reaction to them as over the top or whiny. also so true!!! everyone knows that teenagers calling a celebrity out on twitter will not put a dent in their bag or their livelihoods because in the real world they still very much have all of the power hello we r living in a capitalist society. they are literally fine. half the time they could get away w fucking murder. also god what the fuck that’s disgusting..........imagine hearing a grown man joke about being a pedo and fixing your mouth to defend him. for what. honestly for what. how did he only temporarily lose his job. i mean i know how but. we r in hell

[junipedia]

OK SO HERES THE FIRST 2 CHAPTERS I KNOW THEYRE NOT GREAT BUT ITS FINE

Hunting season

Dull. This day feels dull. I mean that’s how Oregon weather usually is, grey thick clouds layered over the sky like a weighted blanket threatening to fall with water at any moment. Heavy underbrush making the already crowded  woods feel even more claustrophobic. Sneakers seeming to sink further into the wet moss with every step like the woods itself was trying to reclaim you. The snap of a twin you'd hear every once and awhile filling your imagination with every reason besides a rational one as to what it could have been. As unsettling as the woods here are, they bring a sense of comfort and peace like even if something was watching you out there it had no fowl intent with you. Night on the other hand was when those vicious creators came out to prowl. Those snaps of trees turning into something that could be hunting you, chasing you. The paths you thought you knew so well turning into a maze of inkyblack darkness that's reaching out for you…

   

    The snapping sound was louder today than it usually was. My face pointed towards the tops of the dying trees, half expecting to see something looking back at me but just being met with a flock of geese flying overhead. The snapping started up suddenly, whipping my face back down to eye level trying to see through the thick ferns and weeds. It sounded like a bulldozer headed straight for me. “Oh my fucking god, Athena” i let out the heaviest sigh of relife once I saw the fluffy tail zig-zagging around. I stood upright and rubbed my face, someone must have let her out after I had already left. The only way back to the house was the way I had come. Which was a steep forgotten road that always seemed to stay a bit to be taken care of for being abandoned. Athena rushed past me hitting the breaks when she got to the bottom of the hill. She stopped though her always wagging tail stopping and dropping in between her legs. I stopped. She only ever did that if she was scared or was seeing something she didn't like. I just stood and watched her. If there truly was a threat there she would let me know, show some sign that the area was suddenly dangerous. it couldn't have been a person because if that was the case she would have started barking. In less than a minute her tail was back up and she was trotting away like she was only seconds ago.

   

“That's a big dog” perched between the underbrush a person sat hunched over making intense eye contact with the canine. He dealt with big dogs but he'd usually know about them beforehand. Well, it wasn't like he DIDN'T know about Athena. He'd been out here watching this family for a while now. He didn't have any tv or media so he liked watching the family's he was camped near for however long he was staying. He'd been in these woods for a while playing cat and mouse with the hunting dogs that the people on this hill owned. Watching this family was the only source of entertainment. He thought it was funny how they argued almost exactly how his family would have, the only reason it was different was that instead of these parents holding it against each other they would sweep it under the carpet only to let it bubble over and resurface in later conversations. The oldest was the most fun to watch. Seeing how each day she drove herself into the ground trying to be the best for everyone just to let them down like she had feared. He thought her name was ironic because it held so much truth, she was just a scared little bunny adopted by wolves trying to also just be a wolf. He stared back at the dog waiting for it to do something. He'd actually grown fond of the pooch so it brought a sliver of warmth when she didn't bark or snarl at him.

    “Athena!” I walked to join her, giving her a scratch behind the ears. She wasn't acting strange anymore meaning whatever had spooked her must have left before i could see it.

Walking away I popped my knuckles against the opposing hand.

           

Pop crackle snap

I stopped, those were cracking joints but. Not my joints. I turned back in the direction id came from. Athena was already long gone from the house so if something was there I'd have to see for myself. I raised my hand up near my face pressing down on one of my fingers until it let out a loud pop. I waited but sure enough a louder crack came from in front of me somewhere. Hesitantly taking steps forward i'd let out a pop only for it to be followed by a louder more aggressive one. I crouched down thinking it could have been in the trees. I brought my hand to my chin and turned it, letting out a chorus of snaps. 

Silence. A slow breath escaped me from relief that is until a grotesque song of crunches and bones grinding together. I turn my heaad my eyes meeting with wide crazed one frantically trying to focus on me but the spastic movemts of its shoulders and neck making it hard to look at one thing. I couldn't even make a noise, i knew there was a homeless camp near my house but i had never actually seen any of them. It grabbed my shoulders so tight it was painful. My back hitting the ground causing the air to slip out of my lungs. Its shoulders were still rapidly moving as it pressed its hand around its jaw covering my mouth. My hands shot up and tried to push at its face and chest. I didn't know what to do. It was on me weighing me to the ground. The hoodie it had on covering its body type hiding how strong it could really be. There was nothing i could do, it was obviously stronger than me. 

Something must have switched in my brain to say “move idiot if you don't you'll probably die in these woods” I opened my mouth as wide as i could, biting down on the top of its hand. Blood seeping into my teeth and gums. The strong taste of iron filled my mouth as I heard the crunch of the bone I had hit. A mixture of saliva and blood pooling out of my mouth all around and down my chin. It didn't move, didn't even flinch.

   

               

Bears trap

He panicked. What else was he going to do, his tics had ever reacted that badly before to someone else's. He held her down, his hand almost covered half her face. He tried to tilt his head to look at her but it just came off as more jerks and pulls from his muscles`just like a bunny” he thought, if he moved his hand just right it could break her in just an instinct. Just like that she’d be gone. His thoughts were interrupted by the crunching of his hand. He watched her try and basically chew her way away from him. “The bunni thinks she's a wolf now” he watched her for a second again before taking his other hand and picking up a good sized rock.

    “This is it” I watched him raise the rock, tightly closing my eyes. The only thing I felt was an extreme headache before I just went numb and limp.

      “Why is it so cold” was my first thought when I started coming again. Sitting up the familiar sound of a tent zipper opening caught my attention. I tried to sit up and  got trapped in the thin sleeping bag I had been in.This was the first time I had seen him at least somewhat up right. He was at least a foot taller than me, leaning into the tent like he was the one cautious of me. He crawled into the tent looking at me, his eyes not as crazed as before but still holding a feeling that at any moment this bomb could go off. He didn't speak as he inched closer and closer. He then reached his hand out. His finger shook as I leaned back but was trapped by the tent. A hot pain running through my back as he touched my forehead where the rock must have hit me. The mask covering his mouth hid what emotion he was truly portraying at the moment. The hand he touched my head with was bandaged, reminding me of the bite I had given him. I raised my hand and wiped my mouth, sticky red blood still coming off meaning that it really hadn't been all that long since all that had happened but just long enough to get dark and colder outside. I opened my mouth but didn't even get a chance to speak before he beat me to it “just dont just dont yell” it took me back to hear him. 

This obviously isn't an adult just by the voice. His voice was raspy and almost menacing.  Even if he was my age he was still just a kid. We didn't say anything for a while, just analyzing each other like it was a mutual agreement that we would let each other realize what was actually happening before doing anything rash. Yeah, he may have basically kidnapped me but that didn't mean I had to be a dick to him. I don't know how long we stared at each other, it could have been hours or only minutes but after that he crawled further into the tent and simply laid down. Almost like he was just watching me to see if i would do anything to try and leave or get away from him. The only thing keeping the tent illuminated was a small battery operated lantern that was barely bright enough to light up the small tent. He sat up again and looked at me just to turn the lanter off. I could hear him shifting around, maybe to take his mask off. We just laid in silence for what felt like forever. “Aren't you cold” even though I was staying quiet it sounded like I was yelling in the small tent. There was no answer for a moment just the sound of him moving around again. I thought maybe he was asleep before I heard a deep inhale. “no” there was a long silence again before he spoke ”are y-you cold cold?” i hesitated before answering “yeah….i guess i am pretty cold”.

   

 Again there was silence before he moved. I felt him come closer to me before feeling one of his arms touch me. This wasn't right. Not even twelve hours ago he had been the one to bash me over the head with a rock to take me to whatever kinda temporary camp this was. He must have read the room because he stopped and waited. I really took a moment to think about what was happening. Everything was happening way too fast but at the same time the little I've seen of him has shown me that even if he is my age he's clearly unstable. If I didn't let him do what he wanted he could blow at any moment and I really don't know what he's capable of.

He waited for another moment before moving towards me again. He stiffly wrapped his arms around me, even though it was awkward and uncomfortable the warmth he gave off was a nice change from the harsh forest cold.my mind must have just fallen unconscious at some point because the next thing i knew the tent was lit with the dull sunlight that was managing to come through the overlay of clouds. He wasn't next to me anymore but the smell of smoke burned my nose as I could hear the sound of fire crackling and snapping outside the tent.I slowly unzipped the front and peaked out. He was sitting with his back to the tent facing the homemade fire pit that he had made.

   

Toby hated the fire. He hated all the pain that it has caused him but it was something that he simply couldn't avoid. One of the things he liked about the fire now was that he could tame it, control when it grew and when it withered away. He looked down at his bandaged hand. He hadn't slept last night, he was too nervous to make even the slightest movement just in case it would wake her. The warmth she had given off was...new. “Why did you let me hold you?” he spoke down into his hands, the zipper making him turn around to face her.

   

They both froze like deer in the headlights again.

No mask. He wasn't wearing his mask right now. He looked so normal. He just stared at me for a while and I stared back at him.  Him turning back towards the fire was enough for me to snap back out of it. He poked the fire with a stick, moving a few blackened sticks around to stir up the fire causing embers to rise up into the early overcasted sky. I scurried around him and sat on the opposite side of the fire, watching him through the flames. His eyes shot up at mine like he suddenly felt my eyes on him. His stare was so intense i wouldn't say lifeless no, there was something buried deep behind those eyes doing something to him. I looked back down into the fire, what was there to talk about? Did he even want to talk? I just want to go home.

“Were you cold l-last last night?” I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows together. ‘This man bashes me in the head with a rock but is worried I was too cold?’ I shifted my weight, pulling my legs closer to myself. “I was fine.” There was a long silence after that before either of us even thought to move. He was the first one to move, getting up and grabbing something from the tent. “Where are you going?” he actually seemed shocked that I asked “getting more fire-wood” the moment he said that my eyes snapped back towards the fire. This could be my chance to run.

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[timehealsfanfictionbka]

Time Heals....Chapter Fifty-Three Pt.3

Robyn smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her new diamond pendant glistened under the bright spotlights in the vanity ceiling and matched the diamond studs in her ears. Apparently, leaving Chris alone for even two minutes begets expensive gifts that she would’ve never let him buy if she was around him. After fifteen minutes of arguing, she just accepted them and let him put them on her person. They were really pretty though. She brushed her hair into an updo and carefully pinned it into place. Tonight felt different for some reason but in a really good way.

“Robs, are you ready?”

She went to yell back when she heard his footsteps come up behind her in the bathroom. She smiled at him through the mirror, “You look good.”

“Thanks Baby. You ready to go?”

“Just give me one more second,” she carefully curled a few loose tendrils of hair then turned off her curling iron, “we’re good to go.”

“You look amazing.”

“Thank you Christopher,” she leaned and pecked his lips, “I like white on you.”

“I remembered.”

Robyn chuckled as she grabbed her clutch off the console as she passed it, “there is a car service for tonight that’s taking us to the boat and bringing us back. It should be waiting downstairs.”

“Cool. I might get use to this getting taken care of stuff.”

“Please, you couldn’t not buy me anything for one weekend. I’m not that convinced.”

“I mean you look amazing in diamonds, how can I deny being able to see that?”

“Anyone looks amazing in diamonds. It’s diamonds.”

“You’re not just anyone.”

Robyn blushed as she reached for her coat. Chris grabbed it before she could and draped it over her shoulders. She reached back for his hand and they left.

      “For some reason, I feel really adult being here.”

“Are you saying I take you to childish places?”

Robyn scoffed as she took a sip of her drink, “as much as they cost, that’s one expensive childhood.”

Chris laughed as he gently nudged her shoulder, “meany.”

“I’m just being honest. You go for the gusto. A lot.”

“I have it and I want to spend it on you. Is that a bad thing?”

“No but it’s not a fiscally responsible thing either.”

“What? Do you want to see my financial documents? Will that make you feel better about accepting gifts from me?”

“No because I’ll still worry.”

“Such a Mom.”

“You made me one.”

Chris smiled, “that I did. And I’d like to do it again.”

“I know you would but alas no luck.”

“Always blocking.”

“Learn how to shoot better then.”

“Ouch. Why do you like hurting me so much?”

“Boy please.”

Chris winked at her as he took a sip of his drink, “so how you feeling?”

“About?”

“About anything.”

“I’m good. You?”

“Same.”

“That’s good. Are you enjoying yourself?”

“This weekend has been perfect.”

“Really? Good. I was hoping so.”

“Now you know I’m easy to please. You didn’t have nothing to worry about.”

“You say that now”

“Trust me, we could’ve stayed in the hotel all weekend and it still would’ve been perfect.”

“That’s because all you want to do is fuck.”

“You’re partially right.”

“Ugh…you’re annoying.”

Chris laughed, “now you know that’s something I wouldn’t lie about but that is not all it is for me especially when it comes to you.”

“You’re a grown up now, Christopher?”

“I’ma grown ass man and I definitely appreciate more about you than your body.”

“Well you didn’t have a choice in the manner.”

Chris shook his head, “must you ruin every sweet moment with your sarcasm? I’m trying to compliment you, Robyn.”

“Oop, you can continue. Sorry.”

Chris laughed, “My God, Woman. You make being a sweet guy very difficult you know.”

“I’m not trying to. It’s just a habit.”

“And you wonder why we call you the Ice Queen. You like cutting men down at the knees, huh?’

“No, I swear I don’t. It’s just- I don’t know.”

“A defense mechanism so you don’t have to be vulnerable.”

Robyn raised her brow at him, “don’t start throwing therapy words at me.”

“I’m not but I’m right.”

“I don’t have an issue being vulnerable. I don’t like being emotional.”

“Allowing yourself to feel emotional is vulnerability. Every moment doesn’t have to be broken up with quips, no matter how funny they are.”

“You think I’m funny?’

“You’re a natural but your humor can be kind of mean.”

“Do I really hurt your feelings, Chris?”

“No because I don’t take a lot of your comments serious but that doesn’t mean it’s not mean.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No need. I knew what I was getting into.”

“That doesn’t give me the right to be mean to you, though.”

“It’s fine besides I can separate based on intent. I know you’re not trying to be mean.”

Robyn squeezed his hand in both of hers then pecked his lips, “still I apologize and try to be more mindful of my humor.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Chris looked down at her hand and furrowed his brow, “you’re wearing- you brought it with you?”

“Brought what?”

“That’s a nice ring.”

“Oh this?” Robyn held up her hand and smiled, “thanks. My fiancé bought it for me.”

“Fian- wait, you’re serious?”

Robyn nodded her head as she playfully held her hand out to him, “I’m accepting your proposal, Christopher.”

“Holy Shiii-“ Chris gently grasped her face and kissed her hard on the mouth, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Robyn giggled as she pressed her forehead against his, “I love you too, Christopher.”

“Did you plan this? Were you already-“

“Actually, I’ve had the ring on my person for the last few weeks. Just thinking about it. Weighing my options. I’ve come to the conclusion, that I was only saying no because a part of me was scared of saying yes. I’ve always been afraid of losing myself in you because of how I feel about you but I realized that I’ma big girl, you know. I’m not in high school anymore, trying to fit in or make friends. You’re already here and if you really want to marry me just like this, who am I to argue with you?”

“That is the most,” Chris paused to chuckle, “non-romantic proposal acceptance, I have ever heard.”

Robyn laughed, “Christopher”

“But its honest and for that, I am ok with it. It’s exactly what I expected you to say, something logical with a touch of love in it.”

“I admitted to being afraid, I don’t get more credit for that?”

“You are agreeing to marry me, you can get all the credit you want for absolutely anything.”

Robyn kissed him, “I am accepting your proposal because I love you. And I don’t know if this will last forever but I know that I want it to happen. I know that I don’t see the rest of my life without you in it. And I know that if I really want this to work, I have to be willing to commit 100%. I can’t have my guard up with you especially when you don’t have yours up with me. I love you and I want you and I want to be your wife.”

“So you got a little bit in you?”

“You’re rubbing off on me. I don’t know how much I like it yet.”

Chris laughed as he held her hand and twisted the diamond encrusted ring with his fingertips, “I almost thought you forgot about this.”

“I promised you that when I was ready, I’d wear it. I’m proud that you didn’t keep asking me about it.”

“I thought about it but I trust you and part of that trust was allowing you to make a decision without my pressure. I can’t make you love and I can’t make you marry me. You have to decide what’s best for you.”

“Sometimes I don’t know if you’re good for my health or not but a little moderate indulgence never killed anybody.”

“I’m an indulgence?”

“Oh very much so.”

Chris smirked, “so what makes me an indulgence?”

“You and the way you do things. Go big or go home seems to be your only two modes.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Depends on the situation but I’ve learned how to handle it over the years.”

“Hmm…”

“Let me ask you something.”

“Ask away.”

“When we get back to the hotel-“

“Yes?”

“Can you do something for me?”

“Am I still on stripper watch?”

“As much as I would love for you to strip for me, I’m not gonna beg you.”

“There’s a lot of things I’d love for you to beg for but that’s not big enough to warrant it.”

“And what is?”

Chris turned to swipe his thumb across her bottom lip. Robyn flicked out her tongue to wet the bed of his thumb and he bit down on his lip.

“You’re playing with fire.”

“I can handle getting burned.”

“Ok. Tonight, I’ll give you what you want but…”

“Always a give and take thing with you.”

“I just want you to do that split again.”

Robyn laughed, “you liked that, didn’t you?”

“More than you can imagine. You act like you aren’t that limber but you are.”

“Adrenaline helps.”

“It’s way more than adrenaline when it comes to you. You like lowkeying it, huh?”

“It has its advantages especially when I have an agenda.”

“Like training him?”

“Exactly. Sometimes showing your hand makes it difficult for people to learn. Giving it a little at a time always seemed to work best for me and you.”

“Have you unconsciously been training me in other ways?”

“And if I was, why would I tell you?”

Chris chuckled then took a sip of his drink, “I’m gonna figure you out one day, Robyn.”

“All these years and you think you haven’t.”

“I thought I had but clearly I haven’t.”

“Well since we have a bit more time before we get back to the dock and our hotel room, what do you want to do?”

“Dance with me?”

Robyn smiled and took his outstretched hand. They both stood up and Chris guided her to an isolated corner of the dance floor. The jazz band began to play a rendition of “In A Sentimental Mood” by Duke Ellington and John Coltrane. Chris gingerly placed one hand on Robyn’s lower back as he held the other hand in his. Robyn smiled at him as they gently swayed to the music.

“I feel so adult right now,” Robyn murmured.

Chris lowly chuckled as he pressed his lips to the side of her head, “see, I’m not childish all the time.”

“I think you’re incredible.”

“I think you are too.”

Robyn pressed her cheek to his as they continued to dance.

As the band took a break, the speakers flawlessly transitioned into playing, “I’m Glad There is You,” by Carmen McRae, Robyn could feel her body relax into Chris in a manner it never had. She sighed into his neck as he pulled her closer.

“You ok, Baby?”

“In a way I never imagined. I’m good.”

Chris leaned back and ran his hand down the side of her face, “you getting soft on me?”

“Yea. And I think I like it.”

Chris laughed softly then kissed her lips, “your eyes are watering.”

“Oh God, I do not need to start crying.”

“Nobody but us will know,” Chris whispered as he wiped his thumb underneath her eye.

“They need to play something more upbeat. All this slow music is messing with me.”

“Well my beautiful fiancé, I think that’s a good thing. Tonight, don’t think about it, just feel.”

“We are really getting married, aren’t we?”

“Absolutely. I would kidnap you before I let you renege on me.”

Robyn giggled then wiped her face, “leave it to you to make me laugh.”

“To make you happy.”

“That too.”

“So about that peace you always wanted to keep.”

“I think you’re a part of it now.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

“I said yes, I think it’s pretty good.”

Chris pecked her lips, “you’re my fiancé, Robyn.”

“I’m your fiancé, Christopher.”

    “Man, its so late but it feels so early,” Robyn murmured as they walked into the hotel room. Chris took her coat after closing the door behind them, “what time is it?”

“Almost 12.”

“Really? Doesn’t feel like we’ve been up that long.”

“I know.”

Robyn sat her purse down on the console then plopped down on the couch. Chris sat next to her and she placed her feet in his lap as she leaned back against the pillows, “you want anything, Baby?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Shoes?”

“You can leave them on, I’ll take them off in a minute.”

Chris chuckled as he slipped the pumps off her feet.

“What part of I got it, did you not hear?”

“The part where I know you’ll mess around and fall asleep in these shoes before you actually take them off. I’m just here to help.”

Robyn sighed as Chris started to massage her feet, “you don’t have to-“

“I’m helping. Can you be quiet and just enjoy for once?”

“Well sorry.”

Chris laughed, “Robyn, I thought we talked about this on the boat, you don’t have to fight me on everything.”

“I’m not trying to. It’s just some things you don’t have to do.”

“I know I don’t have to. I do it because I want to. It’s ok to accept a nice gesture without overthinking it. It took me half an hour to get you to accept the necklace and earrings.””

“It was fifteen minutes but either way, you shouldn’t have bought it in the first place. I told you about that.”

“I told you that we were going out shopping and I was paying, why is it you don’t listen to me when I say things like that?”

“I do listen but jewelry is not a necessary part of shopping.”

“When you’re shopping with me, it is.”

“Like I said, always going for the gusto.”

“And I will continue so you should get used to it. You’re stuck with me forever.”

Robyn rolled her eyes, “I guess.”

“About being stuck with me, are we telling the kids?”

“We can if you’re ready to.”

“I was ready months ago. It’s up to you.”

“We weren’t engaged months ago.”

“In my head, we were.”

Robyn laughed, “oh my God, what am I going to do with you?”

“Love me very much.”

“I do. I really do.”

“Come here,” Chris grabbed her hand and pulled her up to straddle his lap, “you ok?”

“I’m good, Babe.”

“You sure you don’t need anything?”

“I’m sure.”

“Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Because I’ll give you anything you need, want or desire, you know that right?”

“I know, Baby, I know.”

“Ok.”

“I know I was supposed to get my strip show but can you just hold me instead?”

“Now that I have no problem doing.”

Chris wrapped his arms around her as she settled into his lap. He began to rock her gently as she fingered the hair at the nape of his neck. He smiled as he felt her sigh brush against his skin, “you falling to sleep on me?”

“Not yet.”

“Let’s get out of this dress so you’ll be more comfortable.”

“I don’t wanna move.”

“Never said you had to. I got this.”

[migleefulmoments]

Abb/y has something to s/ay

Let me premise this by reminding everyone that Abby -like Trump-doesn’t “get” comedy. They literally do not understand jokes, punchlines, or humor. So a satirical show about the Hollywood song writers falls flat. Her time away did nothing to sway her conspiratorial aspirations or her misogynistic hatred of Mia. She watched Royalties not once, but twice... not to enjoy Darren’s creativity and performance, not to support the celebrity she stans, and not even to crack up at the humor, no she watched twice because she was looking for confirmation bias. She wanted to document all of the ways Darren wrote his CrissColfer truth into Pierce’s life and she obsessively listened to all of the diss-tracks he wrote to attack his wife.  

Let me also premise this by saying I loved the show. I thought it was funny and the songs are so damn catchy.  The lyrics are quintessential Darren- funny, very clever, and raunchy.  

******************************************

R/oyalties, the Tale of Two Shows with a Heaping Side of Meta

ajw720. So I just finished watching R/oyalties for the second time, this time solely focused on the meta.  Look, we all know, the show is not good, it was not well written and the short format didn’t help as there was no option to develop character or plot.  But D knew it would not be good, he apologized for it back in January 2019.  And I think the effort he put into acting was the effort it deserved. Ok.

But his songs were genius.  As were the videos, hence why i call it the tale of two shows.  It truly was like watching content made by completely different people. I concur with MH, D is “intensely talented.”  And the part of this show he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into, the songs, are evident of this.

But this is a post about that Heaping Side of Meta. I think D, knowing that that show would not be made in the manner he envisioned, instead used it as a vehicle to make some bold statements and parallels with his career and public life.  Shall we begin?  And please, unlike the perfect song, this is not a perfect post and after the second round of watching i canceled my Quibi subscription and never plan to look back, so please feel free to add. I know some of these have been pointed out but I thought it was valuable to have one post.

One idea to inpsire the song?  A tiny FROG on a dime.

D’s shirt 1st seen in Episode 2: “It is hard to soar like an Eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys”

And of course “Call me Goldilocks bitch”  Remind you of something?

How about the entirety of Episode 3 when we are told that an artist is completely the product of the team.  That no matter what the artists expresses they want, it doesn’t matter because the Label/manager/publicist/on camera agent/legal will always have a say. And how it will play in America or the Foreign market are key metrics of how the product is produced and presented.  I love the line of the songwriter that tells P/ierce and S/ara to “get out while they are young.”  Or the line by one of her team “we don’t want something different, we want something the same that is different.”  And in the end P&S simply took one of KK old songs and reworked it, making something different that is not different and her team loved it.  

And of course, the line that was an utter slap in the face to the most over praised “director” of an indie band video ever when D reminds her of the real director in his life, the man set to direct major motion pictures, “you know who would be perfect to direct? C/hris.  C/hris would shatter this.”

Not much in Episode 4, but the gorilla suit in my opinion was mocking of a certain MMR video where we watched Swiller and a banana in a song about a gorilla.  Images I never need to see in my head again.

Episode 5, a gem, I am still so fucking proud of D and how he mocked her throughout the entirety of the episode.  New lines I love of that amazing song he wrote about her (in addition to those i posted previously here) “Some people say I’m a  genius, which comes from the greek word for Latin, and other people will say, alright in fact i’m a fuckin’s genius” “I’m not saying I’m a god, but I’m not saying I’m not a god.”  Mocking at its finest made all that much better by the band’s name “Switchback Jacket” that D describes as “butt rock emo” that is performed by a band that doesn’t actually sing, they are just the public image.  He literally told us that what we see is an image created for the public and that it is completely fake.  And he used his beard to make this statement. Just brilliant.  I cannot praise him enough for this, stealing her moment in the sun and making her look like an utter fool, telling us just how narcissistic she is.

Also some wonderful lines from that episode that are beyond telling:

“Power, it felt good to remind Kevin that I hold power over him. You always want to be the one with power”

“p/ierce wouldn’t know where to take a shit if I didn’t tell him.”

“she is like my wife except we don’t have sex and we are friends.”

“alright boss, I am ready to record that song, but where should i take a shit?”

“You will do anything to succeed.”

Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on:

And the cherry on top of this episode, the inclusion of C/huck (for some background, see my post here).

I really like the one bit of dialogue between P&S, where D pretty much tells us once again that M will use anyone to get what she wants:

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe, I don’t like where we are now? There were a lot of really great things about the way things were.  Things that are worth preserving.  Not that you just take and use and through out.”

Episode 9 had some really impactful lines:

“you think i wouldn’t steal for my career? You think I wouldn’t lie?  I would do anything.”

The Neils being the nameless individuals, nothing more than a number, who are the ones who actually create the product.  And then the song, some of the translations are D telling you how he feels, because sometimes i think in terms of his public image he is just a Neil trying to escape the cage that has been built around him:

“I dream about getting away, I have been locked up in this cage wishing i could make my escape. I hate that I need you.”

And finally Episode 10, where we learn the Neils get no credit and no royalties. This reminds me of a script C wrote that never saw the light of day but suddenly the next season of AHS had the same theme as his script.

And that is all i got, if you have more please add. I think the fact that D took what he knew would be a mediocre project and projected his voice and story throughout it was pretty genius and a smart way to utilize this vehicle, that was clearly payout for so many that have used him for years and to shine a bright light on the truth.

elicc  The “perfect song”’s performer is called Bailey Rouge, a clear link to TLOS.

He is a genius.

ajw720   @elicc damn, that was on my list and I forgot. And we all know who Red is inspired by, so seems fitting Bailey Rouge would get the perfect song.

ajw720. Just adding one more I thought about putting in my original post but admittedly think it’s a stretch. But maybe not? Just adding here for fun.

When Theo tells P to bottle up all his romantic feelings I couldn’t help but think of a certain chapter in a book

*******************************************

Oy Vei! Abby didn’t use her time away getting any therapy or perspective.  She hasn’t learned any lessons. I have no doubt she’s been reading just as much as she did before and she’s speaking to Cassie, Flowers et al all day. It’s really sad. It’s sad that she can’t see how silly she sounds, what an asshole her version of Darren is. If she could restrain herself even a little bit it might come off less unhinged because turning every single moment of Royalties into some crisscolfer wet dream reeks of desperation. 

Abby hates Royalties. In last week’s “Dear D” she had the audacity to say 

....Fans that are beyond devoted and mainly because of the way you have treated fans with respect and a level of caring that far surpasses the majority of public figures.  And while I am not enjoying the show itself, the music shows how diverse you are as a writer and how you can virtually write for anyone or any genre. The songs are fantastic.  Memorable.  And really fun.  

She knows the the Langs wrote the show and Darren wrote the songs but what she can’t seem to comprehend is that Darren IS Royalties. Everything in the show is Darren’s.  

Staying in the closet would be less painful than trying to express oneself through a short-form satirical comedy.  Can you imagine trying to express your devastation and pain through Kick Your Shoes off or Break It In? 

“I’m the king of the hard fuck....pile drive the bed like a young buck...if you like feathery shit thats pretty cool but I don’t need that...people say I fuck too soft, saying that I can’t please a woman” 

BTW Abby- “call me goldilocks bitch” isn’t a reference to TLOS it’s a reference to Goldilocks and Three Bears because because he fucks perfect, not too soft, not too hard. It’s much more believable that he is referring to a random nursery rhyme than it is to believe he is referring to a children’s book his lover/husband/boyfriend wrote 8 years ago. You might love the book but Chris has moved on and written new things. 

Darren wrote funny lyrics. I loved Kick Your Shoes Off because it’s written by a man whose watched his wife and female friends wear painful shoes for the same of fashion even though its painful as fuck.   

“Yeah, I’m a bad bitch so don’t be mad bitch. I turned the room into a catwalk like a sad bitch. I can’t feel my toes in these stilettos. when I walk out my roomate says you’ll regret those....Beauty is pain but oh I look amazing.  You won’t hear me complaining but oh my instep (inside?) is screaming...kick your shoes off (kick em off) ooooooo I do what I want..(Kick em off) ooooo Hey I can’t walk in these, blisters start to bleed now both my feet are swollen. Kick your shoes off (Kick em off).....It’s like i feel so good when my shoes are on, but like i also feel sooooo good when they are off” 

Abby’s convinced I am So Much Better Than You is straight up about Mia because Mia is in the video. She listened to it on repeat the day after it came out. In her “Letter to D” last week she said 

Especially after you made an effort to mock her for the entirety of Tuesday when her episode aired (and for the record I am still really, really proud of what you did with that episode and how you handled the roll out, that is the fighter I admire and that inspires me.  I listened to I am so much better than you on repeat on my drive home from work yesterday).   

Good Lord  The lyrics are as silly as all the other songs: “My mirror wants to bone me (but it can’t because it’s a mirror)” How did Abby miss the obvious TLOS mirror/ Halloween costume reference here?  

“You keep doing push ups while I get buff eating mac and cheese (with overpriced lobster and truffles because I’m worth it)”  

“Some people say I’m a genius (which comes from the greek work for latin) Some other people will say yeah I’m right I’m a fucking genius (I’m not saying I’m a god but I’m not saying I’m not a god). 

“And even when you sneeze, God blesses me, he blesses me. And even when you sneeze, god blesses me, he blesses me, he blesses me”

“I’m am so much better than you at everything”. 

She believes Darren would be- and stay- married to a women that he publicly ridicules and attacks. I don’t get why she thinks that is something admirable . 

She thinks Also You is referring to Ben living with them.  Where to start with this one? She says

“Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on”

I’m gobsmacked.  Also You is about Polyamory. She doesn’t even understand her own theories if she thinks that is the message Darren wants to share about Mia and Ben.  In no world would someone try to proclaim their wife was cheating on them with a live-in houseguest by writing an episode called Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild.  Also, someone needs to explain cuckholding to her because her theories about Ben and Mia make Darren a cuck.  

OMG I just realized that Darren is a cuck and Royalties proves it.  He hired Kether to be his costar in Royalties,...Kether is in You’re the Worst as Lindsay.  Lindsay cuckholds her husband. Bam! mic drop.   

Why isn’t Perfect Song about Mia, you know, if we are playing confirmation bias “No one is as good as you because you're my perfect song” 

[mtjester]

I have finally finished both the meat and candy routes of the epilogue. Full(-ish) thoughts are under the cut, but for the tl;dr crowd: I honestly enjoyed myself, and I’m excited to read more.

First off, and to be totally clear, I am not trying to dismiss anyone’s particular emotional response to the epilogue. I am not here to say, “No, your emotions are not valid.” I’m making my observations just as subjectively as anyone else. So, thoughts:

I believe the epilogue’s main folly, perhaps the main reason it’s not going over well, is that it by nature may only appeal to a fraction of the original audience of Homestuck. 

Homestuck’s original audience was vast, and the interests of the people who read Homestuck are varied. It’s hard to prove whether this is true or not, but it seems that a large, perhaps the largest, chunk of the original Homestuck fandom was interested in character. This epilogue, for that group, is not likely going to be satisfying. The epilogue seems to appeal much more strongly to the section of the fandom interested not only in character but in the overarching themes/conflicts/medium/metafiction of the story. 

The other issue is the density of the epilogue’s existential and metafiction discussions. The level of reading comprehension necessary to not only wade through but also appreciate some of these details is somewhat ridiculous. That’s not out of line with Homestuck, which also has some fairly sophisticated commentary on the nature of self, identity, reality, etc., but it makes the more enjoyable parts of the epilogue somewhat inaccessible. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to discuss these topics in such depth and through such a story without getting a little over the top.

That said, I do think a large portion of the Homestuck fandom, particularly those most concerned with character, forget that Homestuck is at its core an absurd black comedy and occasional satire.

Remembering the villains in Homestuck helps to reframe the story: we have an underling turned god-dog who snaps because of a workplace dress code dispute; we have doll capable of possessing people; we have LITERALLY BETTY CROCKER; and we have a petulant boychild asshole turned muscle skull monster. Are we really going to get mad that Dave Strider’s big turn happens during a conversation with Barack Obama’s projected brain hologram? The precedence for absurdity was set long ago for this sort of thing.

Homestuck does take large breaks from its particular brand of comedy to deal with issues seriously and sincerely, but these instances do not change its nature. While the epilogue wasn’t uproariously funny by any stretch of the imagination, the kernel of absurdity rules it. Why else would Jake English’s ASS be such a big deal on Earth C, like as a plot point and major element of the conflict? The same can be said about the black comedy and satirical elements, which can and do affect characters and plot. 

Even at its start, Homestuck was rather adversarial towards the audience, who literally sent suggestions to Hussie which he often fucked with as an element of his comedy. Based on what Homestuck is and has always been, it’s doubtful we would get an epilogue that was simple, clean, and palatable, especially towards characters. 

About the writing: I have seen it said that the epilogue is an example of bad writing. I’m going to separate the craft of writing and characterization specifically, which I’ll discuss below. As for the epilogue as a piece of prose, I believe it is far from “bad.”

Writing two separate but intimately intertwined stories in itself is not an easy task. It requires careful planning before the figurative pen ever touches paper, and then the effect has be thoughtfully cultivated. The stories themselves are stable, decently well-paced, and sometimes astonishingly poetic.

The way the writers dealt with the overarching metafictional elements is actually brilliant, especially in the meat track. Like, they used a switch from third person perspective to second person as a form of foreshadowing. That’s bananas. I was impressed. Not to mention how Alt Calliope sheds light on it in the candy track, which either foreshadows the shift in control of the narrative if you’ve read it first or else explains its significance if you read it second. Like, shit!

About the mischaracterization, though.Yes, this is an element of writing, but it is also essentially an act of interpretation for any writer, including Hussie himself.

I will use Jade as an example. Did I like her characterization in these epilogues? Largely, no, I did not. I found it uncomfortable. But was it incorrect? That’s the harder question. When Homestuck finished, she was 16, and she had spent the majority of her life alone, often in a state of extreme unhappiness about it. Could she become a 23 year old adult who is the way she is? Well, yeah. Any character could grow up to be sexually liberated, if we’re being real, and she is part dog, which could be construed to affect her libido. She very well could have abandonment issues that could take the form of multiple sexual partners. Her characterization in the epilogues isn’t wrong; it’s just far from satisfying.

Same with Jane. The narrative explains away her behavior as being a subtle result of the Condesce. John even mentioned a thought I had myself: his nanna was Jane, and she just wanted to throw pies and have a good “hoo hoo!” The narrative gives us enough to make her what she is, but it’s not satisfying. Ultimately, the narrative needed a villain to push the conflict, and in a “utopia,” the only recourse is to exploit the dysfunctionalities in the existing powerful characters. In this case, the character needed to support the plot, rather than the other way around. That is, unfortunately, the breaks in this sort of situation.

The one character I was excited about was actually Dirk. I believe that his character was believable, as much as anyone might dislike me for it. Dirk realized that he had the ability, as part of his ultimate godtier self, to destroy the lines between himself and others, to destroy individuality, to essentially take control of everyone’s identities. Given that power, would there be any doubt he would use it to do his “machine and puppets” megalomania bullshit? The narrative makes it clear that he believes he’s doing what’s best for everyone, even if they think he’s a villain for it; to me, that sounds like exactly the sort of think he would do, faced with this situation.

Of course, that’s not to say there isn’t ANY straight up bad characterization. Eridan spoke like five lines and still managed to make me cringe.

The last thing I want to talk about is the sentiment that Hussie has given up, that he doesn’t care, or that he’s actively trying to alienate the fanbase.

I do not believe this to be the case. In fact, I would argue that the epilogue was rather lovingly constructed; as a creative writer, I can see that this text was not a slipshod job.

I believe the problem here is not a disconnect between Hussie and his text; rather, it is between Hussie and his audience, as I mentioned above.

Hussie is a person who writes the brand of comedy I discussed above. While he has grown tremendously since the first days of Homestuck, it seems sometimes that he’s being pigeonholed into a genre of writing that isn’t so much his wheelhouse. The fandom wants him to write a satisfying epilogue that somehow closes Homestuck and ALSO does justice to all of the characters; yet, Hussie’s writing in the past does not seem to lend itself well to this particular kind of conclusion, and neither does the story of Homestuck itself.

I rather believe that Hussie cares a lot but is split between his impulses as a writer, his artistic vision if you will, and the desires of the fandom. I’m not convinced that what we want is also what he wants. I’m also not convinced that what we want is more important than what he wants. After all, what did we pay to read the epilogue? I paid a whole fat boatload of NOTHING. I mean, I donated to the kickstarter, so I would like to see some satisfying reward there. And what has Hiveswap been so far? Characters! Lots of characters. Just what the fandom seems to like the most. But Homestuck? Was it ever meant to get this big, to put him on a pedestal to be boo’d or loved depending entirely on the fandom’s reception of his work, which was perhaps undertaken for his own pleasure as much as anyone else’s?

To conclude, a reader disliking the choices made for the epilogue is not the same as Hussie not caring. Perhaps the thing that Hussie cares less about is sacrificing his own artistic vision for the whims of his readership. The epilogue really is doing interesting things about exploring identity and narrative and the like. Perhaps that’s what he cares about.

Not that anyone has to like him, of course.

I think that’s all for now. I mean, I could have more to say, but I got my words off my chest about it.

[taylornock]

how cell phones made our lives better while simultaneously ruining them

hi fam!! it’s me, again. are you tired of hearing from me? me too. that’s why I’m here to rant about social media / phone / technology. bc i hate it… but in a loving way???

everyone remembers when they got their first iPhone. seriously. why is that such a monumental moment in our lives? i can hardly remember what i felt like freshman year of high school but can pinpoint the feeling of sheer glee unwrapping my iPhone 6 in eighth grade. i have this thing that is attached to me 24/7 - when I go anywhere (even downstairs) without my phone i feel weird. that is f***ing SAD! PATHETIC. i hate feeling that dependent on what is essentially a pocket robot.

for what it’s worth - phones have done INCREDIBLE things for the world as we know it. for example, this quarantine shit has been testing all of us; and our phones are helping us get through it in so many ways. our phones let us see the faces of those loved ones we are missing, our phones provide us with stupid tik tok content to keep everything light hearted, and our phones let us check in on each other. all amazing things! when we are at school, we have instant access to our lives at home . being able to call my mom whenever i want is something i definitely abuse. “mom, I’m on my way home from Thompson right now and i think i have a brain aneurysm but my bio final is at 11am tomorrow will i make it” … an actual conversation i had with my mom at the end of freshman year. needless to say i was medicated shortly after THAT meltdown. I am such a brat that i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t text my dad and have him immediately get me the password again to our Uverse account…… god forbid i miss an episode of the bachelor. i have this phone, and that’s what i do with it? abuse its powers to ask my parents for medical advice or a password i forgot? have we lost sight of everything here?

throughout life and especially throughout quarantine… my phone is the definition of a possession that is a blessing and a curse. I’m so grateful to have the ability to bother my friends - whenever i want! the options are endless! i love keeping in touch with people i thought id never hear from again, and being able to talk to so many people in my life and make my heart swell. now, when a conversation with someone other than my two roommates (shoutout parents) is so rare ⎯ that phone is my weapon and i use it to help flatten the curve: flatten the curve of covid19 and flatten the curve of my mental illness 🙃 [humor is a coping mechanism okay let me live] but like, i KNOW i’m not the only one that looks at my screen time and immediately wants to die. how can i honestly be looking at my phone for that long? picking it up THAT many times?????? my phone is the best distraction and also the most toxic - it makes me feel better but has a tendency to bring up all my issues and blast them into the reflection of my blue light glasses...... its called fashion look it up.

to give some examples - let’s open up my most used app: snapchat. I go on snapchat with the best of intentions - to see a memory from a year ago that makes me smile. to respond to my friends and see what their mood today is based on the look on their face. to creep on snap stories and see what everyone’s cooking and doing with their lives. somehow, tho, after spending a few minutes on the app.. i end up with a pit in my stomach most of the time. the person i want to respond hasn’t responded in 4 hours. oh god lets overthink this- they don’t like me anymore and are no longer interested in speaking to me and only respond every once in a while out of pity or because they are uncomfortable. everyone hates you. oh and GOD FORBID someone leaves me on open??! I am not funny nor interesting nor worth a reply - suddenly, i have equated my value to receiving or not receiving a photo of someone’s blank stare. this is extreme, and this is dramatic. but trust me —— this is the hamster wheel always turning in my head. I’m not even going to touch on snap maps; that feature is pandoras box and someone better fucking shut it.

second most used app is instagram. i scroll for hours, i have time limits set for the app acting like i’m actually going to listen to them and get off. lmaooooooooo. i love looking at aesthetic stuff and dogs and food and recipes and my friends’ beautiful faces. but you know what i don’t like? constant nudges to compare myself to others. oh look at her having a party with all of her friends even though we aren’t supposed to be. am i a loser for trying to be safe? oh look at her washboard abs, i’m never going to look like that and will never live up to the standard of beauty society has set for me. look at all of these people in their happy relationships. why can’t i have that? it goes over and over and over. its not like i sit there and think of these things just like that, its a precedent in my mind when i stare at everybody else that i am going to size my own life up against theirs. for years i followed every single elite model / VS angel on instagram to motivate me to do better - to start being psycho about what i did to my body so i could be as gorgeous as them. what kind of fucked up mindset is that? i would literally watch their footage of them eating rice and vegetables once a day and try to copy it. i would watch their runway walks obsessively trying to recreate them in heels alone in my house - like that was all i could imagine doing with my life. did i ever stop for a second to look at that photoshoot of gigi hadid and wonder if she was happy? wonder if the constant pictures she saw of herself ever made her insecure? what was i doing? the day i unfollowed those girls was a monumental day in my journey to a better self image. i didn’t realize the people i thought were my “motivators” were actually my triggers. i have grown to a point in life now that i would much rather eat a stack of chocolate chip pancakes that make me dance in my chair like an infant than practice my runway walk and shame my body in the mirror. and i am so freakin happy! 

i could go app by app for hours. but moving on to the next thing i hate about cell phones - how they have destroyed our biological methods of communication. you hear about those psychos who think the world is destroyed by technology and we are going to be overrun by robots. but hey, I’m with the psychos on this one. i have this amazing friend, Trevor Wright, who without fail at EVERY dinner announces “phones off friends on” and collects our phones into the center of the table. yes, we are 20 year old adults. yes, we hand our phones over to Trevor and let him yell at us for trying to see if ~that person~ snap chatted us back. i have so much respect for him because of this. there is nothing worse than staring at your phones when you could be having a good conversation about life, about love, about laughter + memories, about “do you think hellen keller is real?” anything, bro, anything. anything but snapchat messaging your hoe of the week or mindlessly playing tetris to twiddle your thumbs. we all need to start loving a little harder, and the first step to doing that is to communicate better. communicate smarter. I’m guilty of alllll of the above, don’t get me wrong. and I am ADD asf and constantly playing mindless games just to stimulate my brain. but i need to stop that! even writing this is taking some time away from the dumb shit on my phone - and encouraging me to communicate how i     r e a l l y   feel to my homies that will read this. communication - especially body language - is fascinating. I’ve studied it in  psych, I’ve learned the neurological bases of behavior and why we do what we do. I’ve learned how much our life experience impacts who we are as a whole...and it! is! fascinating! i also think that’s why i love film so much. because it can capture the raw moments of your friends just being your friends, of you just being the person you are, and the world around you just existing as it exists. i love the raw moments; and not just because indy blue posted one youtube video of her slow mo laughing and now thats the only footage i find myself shooting. 😚

im not quite sure what this post is, lol. but - just a rant on technology. so listen to me:

take advantage of technology + social media! it CAN BE GREAT. for so many reasons. but, don’t let technology + social media TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. stay true to you - know how to communicate with yourself and your loved ones without the use of a robot. remember that feeling when you setup up your first iPhone? imagine if you could feel that again, with your phone nowhere in sight. if you don’t know how to communicate with yourself yet, start by journaling. WRITE! TYPE! SPEAK! do what you want. getting your thoughts down even without an audience is so crucial to understanding yourself and others. if you don’t like to write, reflect. breathe. meditate. make art. do what makes you feel at peace, and do whatever makes you feel like the world makes a little bit more sense than it does. 

IF YOU ARE READING DOWN TO HERE, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, SAY IT BACK! LIFE IS A FUCKING HIGHWAY. AND IM SO GLAD YOU’RE ON MY INTERSTATE. <3

xoxoxoxo

gossip girl