#Ican´t stop me

[comvi]

boom!! whatnowwhatnow/// Ohyeah. silver and whisperer interaction: bassicly what happend was that whisperer saw silver again and got kinda mad at the stalking so he told lucky to just. not come with. lucky listened (even though lucky kinda only wanted to eat sliver cause they look goopy) When whisperer spotted it once more, he instantly threw a rock at it. The rock sinked into its ear, it did not react and kept looking at him. "HEY!" It did not react. "Your eyes deceive" "No, no they dont. Now stop talking to me you damn...entity" Whisperer ran over, the silver eyed slugcat winched back a little. when face to face whisperer said "Who are you and why do you keep stalking us?" It tilted its head at him. "Hello?" No response. Whisperer reached out a paw and pressed on its chest. it backed up and quickly swated whisperers hand "N-N-NOP-No...badidea...dont-dont interact..." "..what?" "YYYYOU-you-shouldbackup..." "Why? and are you gonna answer me" whisperer stammered, not feeling safe. "I-IDONTKNOWWHERE-Ihurtpeople...andicant...dontwantto hurt you.." "Errr...." whisperer started backing up a bit "D-DOntbe...scarred? PLEAsE!HELP!" "What do you mean help?! help with what?!" whisperer whimpered "s-sorry...Habit..." "what do you mean scarred? like.. scared?" it stopped moving, its unreal ears twitching a little "T-thank you...yesthatword..." "Ok, now why were you stalking us?" "T-t-tthepeople...sayidothat...idont mean to..." "Who are the people..?" "Rumors..." spikes slowly formed on its chest "its "U-unbound.." "Undone" "Unforseen..." "Unknown" I-i-i-idontlike...what they say..." Whisperer is now clearly uncomfy, but IT also seems like that.. "Do you. hurt people on purpose or.wait yeah what did..what did you mean by hurt people?" It did not respond, more spikes grew on its chest, it looks distressed "E-EVE?HE-Everyones scared, they have their reasons. I-I-I-ImNot goingto-AAA-answer that." whisperer stared "How do you keep doing that. how are you changing your voice what does that mean. what did you mean by that." No response. Whisperer began to walk away before a spikey tendril grabbed his leg "Dont..leave..." "Please dont kill me." "W-WHATAREYOUDOI-Why would i dothat?" "Cause your. one either a fucking villan or a *really* REALLY weird slugcat." "O-Oh...Myf-f-f-Form...Is it scary?" "No but i do not want to even know what that implies so i plea for you to stay how you are. Now what do you want?" "T-to help..." "You dont even know what i need help with dude." "I heard it to." "heard...what...whatever! uhm... id "love" to have you along but dont know if i can." "I-i-i-i-ican always follow..." "...Great...bye..." "O-OHMYG-Onemore thing..." "yes..?" "W-Want...Thing?" "What is it.." It reached in its chest. and pulled out a sludge covered pearl (whisperer has never seen a pearl btw) "Uhhhhh thanks bye!" He snatched it and ran off, regretting ever interacting. ^ Copy and pasted thing. (aka yap from the actual story.)

Other things that happened in the chapter are Chief meets with whisperer and lucky, figures out the lucky's kind live in [spoiler location] Whisperer injuries his leg from an encounter with [spoiler enemy] adding on to the bleeding. still fine though.

EAHH WONDERFUL AS ALWAYS!!!! Sorry for such a late answer, i was in a sour mood for a lot of the day and usually i wait to answer when im in a better headspace but whatever ill just answer now!! & i can officially say i LIKE SILVER!!! i really do!!! i especially like how i can officially use the word “goopy” for it, and a particular detail i like about them is how we will hear names of [unknown creatures/potential victims] in its speech,, (eg. the name Eve was in here, im pretty sure!). + from the way they talked about itself being dangerous/harming others, & that they can also hear voice, im currently thinking they may not be fully in control of their actions, all the time? I could be so far off but, current theory im working about!

also im not too sure how to feel about the implication of silver being able to, quote-on-quote, “reach into their chest”. I mean we just found out that they are liquid-like enough to be able to be described as goopy ofcourse (already knew their tail was ferrafluid, didnt know that might also apply for the rest of its body), but i wonder now, does it being able to reach into its chest mean: 1. it is fully made of some sort of liquid of sorts, ferrafluid like its tail, or something else? for their body im assuming it would be made up of a denser liquid, or 2. maybe they have an open/exposed chest cavity? perhaps as a result of injury, but it still wasnt fatal enough to kill them (if it is even able to die), and left them how they are now. this could ofcourse go along with the 1st theory, but whatever. !!!

honorary lucky mention. I COULDNT NOT TALK ABOUT THEM!!!. Whisperer is going through some serious shit and lucky is just watching from the sidelines thinking “that thing my dad’s talking to looks goopy..i wonder what they taste like” LOL

[wilbyitjubilee]

I hateregressing aometimes it makes me feel so stupid that the only way ican heal sonetimes is going into thhr mindset of a kid because I'm an adult and I shiuldnt and I feel like it gets in the way if everything. I hate having to tell people when I'm regressed it makes me feel so stupid and immature.i feellike I'm disappointing people because I litterally am twlling them "haha sorry I'm litterally mentally a kid right now" and it's so dumb. I knowthinking about it like that makes it worse I just feel badi feel vulnerable and weak and I hate it. it sucks even more when I'm involuntarily regressing so I jus t can't stop it. sucks

[blue22m]

Boa madrugada Blue aqui !

O que dizer sobre o comeback verão do twice 2021 bom simplesmente maravilhoso e eu ainda disse que não havia gostado de primeira vez que ouvi. Eu agora to tipo só o comeback anterior que inclusive e a primeira foto desse post.

[utterlyinevitable]

Hurricane (Part 2)

Part 1

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 2.7k Warning: Nothing outright. The story is rated T+.  Summary: A hurricane is falling over Boston. Edenbrook has been evacuated and some very different doctor’s end up seeking shelter together. 

Author’s Note: This was inspired by an anon prompt request for “protection”. I hope I did it justice! This is a multi part story.

________________________________________ 

It took the group of friends thirty minutes to gather all their things and pack it all into Ethan’s borrowed sedan. They’d all be lying if they said they weren’t terrified of crashing the luxury vehicle or leaving a scuff on the pristine black leather seats. Elijah’s mind raced with all the expletives and face contortions Dr. Ramsey could throw their way if something befell his property. 

With four hours and twenty six minutes until high tide Becca programmed the navigation for Naveen’s river-house and the friends carefully made their way through the torrential start of the storm and out of the city. 

The ride was relatively silent as they drove with caution. It wasn’t until they made it onto the near-empty highway that someone spoke the looming question in the air. 

“Are you and Ramsey back together?” Sienna asked from the backseat.  

Becca’s eyes widened. 

In the commotion she didn’t even think of what this excursion would look like to those outside of her and Ethan’s secluded little bubble. Becca herself didn’t even know what they were. They spent time together outside of work, sure. But does that mean they’ve been unknowingly dating for the last few months? 

What she did know was that Ethan Ramsey and Rebecca Lao were not officially dating, not now and never were.  

Becca looked straight ahead at the disappearing road before them, mulling over her next words carefully. 

“We were never together,” she dismissed so eloquently and added for good measure, “And we’re friends.” She habitually bit her lip in hopes they’d stop the inquisition. 

“Bec, he gave you his car.” Elijah piped in, his grip on the door handle loosening a bit as his thoughts were moved from the impending doom. 

Elijah and Sienna were the only two friends who had an inkling of what had perspired between Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Lao - they did in fact catch the former sneaking out of the apartment one morning last year. Ever since the two kept Becca’s secret and gleefully watched the two doctor’s interactions with a new and keen interest.  

Becca was quick to retort, “How else were we supposed to get to Naveen’s?”  

Sienna tried to stifle a giggle at how uncomfortable her best friend had become, “He also asked you to stay with him at Naveen’s.”

“He also said you guys could come. He’s concerned, is all.” Becca explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. To her this situation wasn’t as weird as they were making it out to be. If Ethan and Naveen were in a pinch of course she would lend a helping hand. The two older diagnosticians had become staples in her life over the last year and a half, and although she knew hospital politics meant most colleagues couldn’t comprehend their bond she was hoping her friends would. With a definitive nod she added, “Friends helping friends in their time of need.” 

Elijah egged once more, “So there’s nothing between you?” 

“We’re not dating, no.” 

What was between us? Becca thought to herself. 

Mutual respect? Definitely. An unconditional affinity for the other? Surely. Was it time to finally define their intentions? The jury’s still out. 

With a mischievous gleam in her eye Sienna knew this was going to be a very informative and eye-opening experience for everyone. 

***

After an hours drive and missing the hidden driveway nearly twice the group of friends finally made it to Naveen’s cabin. The rain was still consistently falling in large punishing splatters and the sky above loomed darker than before. The river was higher than she’d ever seen it, yet still so calm and accepting of the bullets colliding at its surface. 

Sienna wheeled Elijah into the foyer with nearly all of their bags while Becca disarmed the alarm with the code Ethan texted her. They removed all their wet clothes, leaving them on the designated hooks and shoe rack before dividing up the goods. 

“How many bedrooms are there?” the spritely doctor asked as she made sure all the food she packed was accounted for.  

“Three,” Becca explained, “Two down here. This one’s Naveen’s new room if I remember correctly.” She pointed to a door on the back far right wall just before the double doors leading to the den. “Then one more upstairs.”

She recalled how the old doctor had asked her and Landry to move his belongings from the upstairs master bedroom down to that one so it would be easier for him to move around. Back when he thought the phage therapy was futile and that he was dying.   

“Perfect,” Sienna squeaked. “Room for Naveen. One for me and Elijah. And one for you and Ramsey.” 

Becca scoffed at the thought of her and Ethan sharing the same bed with so many other eyes around. It took a while for Ethan to finally let her share his bed once again after giving her space in his life in the form of his second bedroom whenever she stayed over to work on cases or just enjoy his company. Events from the past year rolled through her mind at rapid speed, recalling all the times they’d lean on one another mentally, hold one another physically, and then Ethan would push her away emotionally. They were teetering on a fine line and Becca didn’t know if it was in her best interest to fall or continue trekking at a stagnant pace.  

“He’ll probably sleep on the couch in the den,” she told her friends in earnest.  

Sienna smirked knowingly, completely bemused by the whole conversation. There was simply no reason her best friend should know so much about the chief of medicine’s home or her boss’s habits if there wasn’t anything between them. Naveen is Ramsey’s most trusted friend and not even months of doctoring together could bring these intimately behavioral facts to light. 

The girls unpacked the food in Naveen’s narrow kitchen glad they brought more than necessary, odds are they would be held up here for a while. Meanwhile Elijah sat in the living room near the big bay window reading one of the comics he brought with him, the staging a bit too close together for him to move freely throughout the cabin. 

“Just out of curiosity,” Elijah called out, “wouldn’t the river flood too?”  

“Huh. I didn’t think about that,” Becca uttered, the wheels in her head now turning. Rivers do flood, lakes don’t. The river is probably connected to the bay… So why had they sought shelter here? She quickly stopped her thoughts and shrugged, “Seems like a question for Dr. Banerji though.” 

Sienna noticed the permanent furrow of worry between Elijah's eyes. Trying to console her friend she added, “It’s got to be safe if they’re taking refuge here.” 

Becca folded up the empty reusable bags that carted their food and moved to put them with their luggage still idling waiting by the front door. “Ethan definitely doesn’t want Naveen anywhere near a natural disaster after last year’s events.”  

“Doesn’t want you deep in one either.” Sienna tried desperately to hide the smile from her face. 

Elijah chuckled, “Becca is a natural disaster.” 

“A her-icane,” Sienna added with wit.  

Elijah continued, “Completely disobedient. Follows whims.”  

Sienna was so giddy in her addition of, “Breaking Ramsey down, wearing him thin.” 

“Hey!” Becca scolded them playfully. She knew they didn’t mean any harm and were only quoting one of her favorite songs back to her. However the irony wasn’t lost on her. 

“We know you don’t mean to be chaotic sometimes.” Sienna bounded over to her closest friend and wrapped her tiny arms around Becca. “We love you anyway.”

***  

An hour later they saw bright lights breaking through the fog and heard car doors slamming in the distance. Becca opened the front door to a soaking wet Naveen walking in first with a rambunctious Jenner on the lead. Ethan wasn’t far behind carrying his overnight bag and two coolers of food. 

“How was the drive?” she asked. 

“Uneventful, luckily,” Naveen responded with his signature fatherly smile. 

Sienna stood up and greeted, “Hi, Dr. Banerji. Lovely home you have here.” 

Ethan slipped off his coat and shoes and bounded into the kitchen to drop the things off without saying a word. 

“Please, Sienna, call me Naveen. You’re in my home, no need for formalities outside the hospital. That goes for you as well Elijah.”  

The smile that spread across the young doctor’s face was that of a kid who had just met his childhood hero. “I’m honored.” 

Naveen turned back to Becc, “Rebecca can you grab a towel from my bathroom please. Don’t want a wet dog running around.”  

“Oh, of course!” She scurried off to the other side of the house and grabbed the first towel she found in the downstairs en-suite. When she came back Jenner tried to jump at Becca but Naveen held the lead tightly, his glasses still clouded with raindrops. 

Becca grabbed the lead and motioned, “Go ahead, I’ll dry him off.” 

He removed the spectacles and smiled brightly at the woman he considered a daughter, “I’ll go help Ethan.”  

Beca threw the towel over Jenner’s wiggly body and knelt down to begin to dry him off. It was a feat. The pup was so excited to see her he kept jumping up and licking whatever part of her he could get at. The antics sent Becca into a fit of sing-song laughter. 

“I missed you too buddy,” she cooed. She looked straight into his elated amber eyes and asked, “What’ve you been up to?” He popped up and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.” She brought the towel up to dry the underside of his neck and he lunged with another kiss. “Thank you.” Becca couldn’t help but return the favor, planting a nice big smooch to his soft cheek.  

“He’s so cute!” Sienna cried, kneeling down to share in the action.  

“Isn’t he?” Jenner wasn’t Becca’s dog but that didn’t mean she didn’t have a sense of motherly pride for the good boy.  

Sienna whispered in her ear, “Just like his owner.” 

“He’s cuter,” Becca said flatly as she rubbed behind his ears. “Better personality too.” 

Just then they heard that deep velvety baritone voice admonish, “Rookie, are you insulting my dog?” 

“Nope,” Becca chimed and leaned in to give Jenner another kiss on the nose.  

Sienna couldn’t help the giggle. 

After the food was settled away in the kitchen, Ethan and Naveen spread out the furniture in the main living space to make it more accessible for Elijah. Sienna sat on the rug by the coffee table completely enamored with Jenner, while Becca and Elijah finished the game of checkers they started moments before the older doctors’ arrival. 

“I’m making a meat lasagna for dinner, is that alright with everyone?” Ethan asked the eclectic group of medical professionals.  

They all agreed with a mix of nods, “yes” and “sounds good”. 

Sienna looked up to see the attending standing behind the rotated sofa with a look of apprehension drawn all over his features. He seemed like he was in a daze and she wondered what could possibly be plaguing his mind. “Do you need any help, Dr. Ramsey? Becca and I would be more than happy to lend a hand.” 

Ethan shook his head slowly, “Thank you for the offer, but please keep the old man company.” He took one quick sweep of the room as if he was taking in the physical symptoms of a patient, trying to diagnose how these next few days will play out.   

In his absence, Naveen and the young residents spoke about the weather and how they seem to be getting on in their second year, and what hobbies they had besides working. Death's door gave Naveen an appreciation for all the small things in life and now he made sure he gave ample time to his other passions, such as painting, fishing and reading. Noting how Naveen only owned a small television and not many movies, Elijah took it upon himself to quiz the man on his imperative film knowledge. 

Already knowing which way this conversation was going Becca opted to cater, “I’ll see if Ramsey needs help.” She stood up and left Sienna to mediate the depth of the conversation. 

There in the middle of the tiny kitchen was Ethan staring blankly into a pot of tomato sauce as if he was looking for a deeper meaning to his worries, and a dish towel draped over his shoulder. Becca leaned on the wooden door frame and took in the sight of the man she’s seen cook on many occasions. This time was different. The motions and methodology to his recipe didn’t seem to soothe him like usual. He was standing as straight as possible, his shoulders tense under his white button-down, and from the side she could see the three lines of perplexity etched into his forehead.  

“You okay?” she asked quietly from her position.  

He didn’t need to look at her to know her light brown eyes had darkened over with concern. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he replied as he intently stirred his sauce.  

“Seem a little on edge.” Becca pushed herself off the wall and closed the distance between them. She could now fully see what Ethan had been preparing - a large pot of tomato sauce, minced beef already seasoned and cooked through sitting on a back burner, a tray and cheeses laid out on the counter to his left. She was so close to him, her chest a nudge away from pressing itself against his side.  

Out of the corner of his right eye he let himself admire the short brunette and the way she was this close and still smelled like sweet freesia after a long day and the rain. “I assure you I am fine.” 

Her eyes darted up and caught him staring, a small smile begging to shine just for him. She moved ever so much closer, letting her left hand fall to the small of Ethan’s back and her head rest lightly on his upper arm. “This is weird, isn’t it?” she paused before clarifying “Them being here?” 

Without hesitation Ethan sighed, “God, yes.” His free hand moved briskly to rub down his face. “I didn’t think - I- I’m glad we could help. It feels…” he stumbled over his words and Becca finished for him, no doubt in her mind they were feeling the same way about the situation;

“Foreign?” 

He nodded once, “Like I’ve stepped into someone else's life.”  

“What?” Becca pulled her body away from his, obviously taken aback by his admission. To her the situation just felt unfamiliar and scary that what they tried so hard to protect could now be out in the open. But his choice of words made her feel less than, like Ethan didn’t want to be there with her or her friends, or even make any effort at curating a semblance of a normal relationship.  

Ethan moved away from her and to the counter. “Stir the sauce,” he commanded. 

Becca picked up the wooden spoon from where he left it in the pot, watching him intently. 

Ethan grabbed a knife and began slicing a ball of mozzarella. Becca opened her mouth to say something but he was quicker, “I can handle you, me and Naveen. That’s a bubble I don’t mind,” he began to explain. “I don’t know how I feel about letting your friends into my business.” 

She wanted to reach out for him but knew leaving the sauce to burn would create a whole other world of problems in an already delicate situation. “You can trust them. I do, with my life,” she said sweetly, trying to convey years of gratitude in just a few words. When he didn’t respond she added, “At any rate they know there’s something between us and just want us to be happy.” 

He suddenly stopped his movements and gave her a side eye, silently asking if she told them of their situation. He knew she would never break his trust but he needed the confirmation - he needed to be sure nothing was hanging out there and on the line. 

Becca shook her head in reassurance. 

His shoulders slouched briefly as he brought his attention back to the cheese at hand. 

She let a few moments pass before saying, “Be yourself, Ethan. That’s all any of us ask of you.”  

________________________________________

A/N: Really disappointed in myself for not adding Bryce into the mix. I’d live for some Ethan/MC/Bryce jealousy angst. Some other story I guess.. 😞

Taglist: @ohchoices​​​ @dulceghernandez​​​​ @aylamreads​​​ @binny1985​​​​ @ramseysno1rookie​​​​ @interobanginyourmom​​​​ @queencarb​​​​ @perriewinklenerdie​​ @rookiefromedenbrook​​​ @eramsey28​​​ @choicesficwriterscreations​​​ @heauxplesslydevoted​​​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​​​ @purpledragonturtles​​​ @ramseyandrys​​​​ @ermidc​​​ @mrsdrakewalkerblog​​​ @doilooklikeiknow​​ @overwhelminglyaquarius​​ @drethanramslay​

[so-i-dont-forget-again]

So I Don’t Forget Again: A Breath of The Wild fanfiction

Entry 162: Nero Hill

 It just drifts through the air high above. The Rito’s Divine Beast. At first I thought it was after affects of the storm, but it’s still so windy here. Kass told me it has been like this since Vah Medoh had truly awoken recently.

I wonder why all the Divine Beasts have only awoken recently. Looking back even if I didn’t directly write it, it’s still heavily implied that the Divine Beasts rampages are more so recent events, if they were like this a hundred years ago surely all of Hyrule would have been destroyed by now.

Why now… now that I’ve awoken.

Did they because I woke up and started attacking now?

It’s roar carried on through the air, echoing through the whole land.

There are now some flying guardians on the road so Kass, Bossa Nova and I are making our way to the village from the tops of cliffs.

There’s a shrine up there that’s surrounded by ruins. She was trying to get in, despite it being made for me she wanted to get in for some reason. When she realized I was with her she was angered, saying she didn’t need me. Seems like the King ordered me to follow and protect her. Despite her protests I followed her anyway.

All the pictures that were already in the slate, I’ve now visited all their locations.

I don’t like this. That I can’t remember anything else. Only others. I wonder how I was so trained to follow orders and not consider others feelings. Why are my memories so fragmented? Why is it that I can’t remember anything without some trigger?

I just… thought of something crazy.

What if… I’m not Link. I’m not the same person as from a hundred years ago, but a copy of him. He died and I was made as his replacement. That would explain why I don’t have his memories! How I can only gain them from heavy coaxing! It’s all just fake. That could also explain my healing, it’s because I’m not a person but some Sheikah machine! The Shikah have done impossible things like the storm and arrows and sun, so could they make something like a person? That would explain why I’m so different from him! Why he just follows orders and I do, but…

What if I can’t find the Master Sword because I’m not him

Ise veryo ne goingto die because ican t savethe m what if I nevercou ld

Kass found me panicking. He managed to calm me down and got me to slow down and breath, and not think for a moment. Kass listened to everything I had to say. About how I’ve always doubted my memories, how they are only of others and never myself, how only these pictures and things closely associated the champions called any memories from me. Just… all my fears about myself. All my doubts, even wondering who I was in the past. I just… feel so much more lost and confused than ever. I know I am who I am now, but… what if I’m so different from then I can’t be the same hero, I can’t get the Master Sword and all of this, every thing I’ve done is for nothing. They’ll all die because I’m not good enough.

Kass asked me how I remember things. Not from the past but now. He held my journal close and asked how I met Sidon. When I told him he then asked how I remember using weapons. When I told him I don’t remember and I just do it, he picked up his accordion and began to play. He told me something similar happens to him with his playing. He then told me that during his trip back home his wife reminded him of something. It was when they were children, she had lost her favorite doll so Kass had spent all day finding it for her and came back covered in mud getting a laugh from her. Kass had completely forgotten about it till he came in on Amali doing some cleaning and saw her with the doll in hand before laughing and recounting the tale. We also looked through my journal together and found evidence that I probably did live through that time, like how I have old scars and my dream in Gerudo town was likely a memory. Kass told me that my worries about truly being who I am are valid concerns, and that it is okay to worry about, even dwell on it, but I can take comfort in the knowledge that it doesn’t change the present, now, the relationships I’ve made with everyone and all the accomplishments I’ve made on my journey, all the help I’ve given and good I’ve done. Even if I am not the hero, I still appeased the Beasts, I have made a difference in so many lives.

It was nice.

I just… I still don’t know who I am.

Anyway, after finding the memory we crossed some more cliffs and stumbled across a great fairy fountain. She offered to make my clothing stronger. I asked her if she could repair clothing. When she said yes, I asked her if she could teach me how to sew so I could make boots for Bossa Nova. The fairy laughed, grabbed me, and dragged me into her pool. I woke up out of breath. The fairy told me  I was a great student and as a reward she made my armor better. I don’t remember learning anything from her, but… I just know some new stitches now. I… really don’t like how my memory is.

We did a lot of climbing and got to the new tower. There’s more of the dark sludge stuff. Surrounding it and climbing up the tower.

We could see the village from the tower, and just how close Vah Medoh is to it. I asked Kass if he knew anything about the beast, of how I could get close. He doesn’t know a thing, all he knows is that if you get too close, you get shot. Hopefully we can find information in the village.

Why do I always do this? I just get tripped up on something and I spiral into these drowning dark thoughts. I feel go guilty. What if I’ve been lying this whole time? I don’t think I’m a copy but now with the possibility I… and Kass has just been so kind, listening to everything I have to say.

I just wish I could stop this, just live and not keep getting stuck in this. It seems like at this point I’m looking for ways to make myself sad and feel awful. I hate this.

Bossa Nova fell asleep on my chest, his being here and Kass too has really helped me keep from just losing it today. Hopefully with some sleep I can get a fresh start tomorrow. Just try to forget about my panic today.

First Page , Previous Page , Next Page 

[saphirasezblazingger]

APRIL 15, 2020

Dear Anyone that is reading this,

I am fucked up! Maybe you don't seem to see it personally, but yeah I am a bit mad. Maybe I should just go and see a doctor? No wait I can't I have to this this again over and over alone, like how i use to solve problems with no solutions or just having trial and error. By the way I am Gerald coming from the line of Mad Mom and a Hard headed loving Dad. Hey I just wanted to talk to someone who understands. I am a mess. I'd probably gone thinking to suicide and just stop everything or not cause I am afraid to die. I am currently 18, but acting like a kid as always. I wanted to tell everyone that I am sorry for everything that I did. I am just horrible. I am a young adult and yet I don't know myself. Who the fuck am I? Yeah you probably heard of me saying that I am ok, I know what I like, I know what is right! but nah, I don't know who the hell am I, what the fuck do I want. Sorry if you are part of my friend or my family. I feel horrible for you to meet me and get to know me. The selfish, mad, cry-baby me. Yeah you haven't seen me crying, cause I can handle it for a bit longer, long enough to get home and go to the bathroom and cry it all out there. I want to feel anything, to feel alive again. Fuck It has been years but I am still here facing the same mistake and facing the same problem everyday in just different way. What if I just did it? I am on a 3 story building. What if I just jump from here and get over with it. What if I just go get a knife and shove it to my throat? What it I just hang my self in the ceiling? what if i just drink all the medicine here and sleep tight not knowing if I am still alive? What if?

Do you know why? Why I keep doing this? Why I keep on holding on in this vulnerability inside me? Because I feel human whenever I feel pain. I feel love whenever I feel hate. I feel happiness whenever I feel sad.

Because I ...

I...

Because I am me.

I am a fire! Not because I am hot or anything. But because whomever I touch, I destroy. I have touched my Mom then made her mad. I touched my friends made them go away. I touch my self and I see a burning piece of shit. Do you live with your parents? If you do tell them how you feel. Cause I haven't live with my mom since I was 6, but I can remember the last time I saw her. My dad? Uhm he's providing us but I barely see him. Mostly 5 times a year I guess. Yeah I am on my Aunt, in a very beautiful house but certainly not my home. I feel so anxious whenever I imagine that I am me. I hate being me. So sometimes I go out and change my personality. I always wear this mask on called Ged, the Jolly one... Ow shet I'm bleeding! I just got to tell you that a am wearing a white T-shirt and it is turninginto white red polca... Because of my blood. I am going to bleed out. Ok I am a bit dizzy but It'sok Ican writeyet . Seeyah later

[bionic-buckyb]

When It Rains: Part 7

A Thor x Reader / Soulmate Series

Master List

⚡ You’ve been dreaming of the same voice, the same man, for as long as you can remember. You never thought that he could be real, let alone that he was the God of Thunder, your soulmate, and the key to unlocking a mysterious power within you; a power that could be used to save Thor’s homeland of Asgard, or, in the wrong hands, to destroy it.

A/N: Heyyyyy, this hasn’t taken 5 months or anything, but I’m back. I hope you guys like this part. I’ve been writing it for a while. I’m a little rusty, so please be gentle. Let me know what you think. ♥

Word Count: 1,571

Other Characters: Bruce Banner, a surprise at the end ;) 

Tags: (at the end)

*gif source: [ x ]

Pregnant. A baby. An actual demigod.

That’s what was growing inside of you right now; half you, and half the god of thunder; two equal parts of normal and ethereal.

You were terrified, and rightly so, but there was also a part of you that was extremely excited. So many unanswered questions swam through your mind. Would the child carry more of Thor’s traits than yours? Was it a boy or a girl? Would the child have powers similar to their fathers? How much danger would this child be in at all times, and how would your pregnancy differ from other normal pregnancies? How would you keep your baby safe?

A knock on your open bedroom door made you jump out of your thoughts.

“Sorry to startle you!” the voice squeaked, soft but raspy. A woman was standing in the doorway that you’d never seen before. Her palms were outstretched in defense. “Bruce sent me up to get you. I’m Natasha Romanoff.” This time her hand was out for you to shake. “But you can call me Nat.”

You reached and took her hand, shaking it once or twice before dropping it. She was stunning, with auburn hair that hung in loose curls around her shoulders. Her eyes were astonishingly green, like sparkling emeralds.

“Hi, Nat,” you said with a smile, getting up from your chair. It had only been a few weeks since you’d found out that you were pregnant, but you were already beginning to show. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she replied, with a smile to match your own. Her eyes moved to the lump under your shirt. “Wow, you got a belly goin’ on there, huh?”

“Yeah…” you sighed, rubbing your bump. “I wasn’t expecting this to go like a normal pregnancy, but this little seed just keeps growing. I’m afraid there won’t be any room left.”

“Well, you’re in the best hands possible here, trust me. Come on,” Nat said, grabbing your hand as if you were old friends. “Bruce is waiting.”

She led you out of the room, navigating expertly around the tower, and down the long, spiral staircase to Bruce’s lab. Here, he’d acquired all the equipment he’d need to help you along with your pregnancy. After speaking with Thor, Tony, and Bruce, you all decided it was the best and safest idea to monitor you from Stark Tower. No one, not even Thor, had ever dealt with the birth of a demigod before. If you went to an actual obstetrician, it might raise a few eyebrows, considering you were carrying a god’s child. Also, the prospect of Loki meaning to harm or kidnap you, or your unborn child, was still an issue.

When you finally reached the door of Bruce’s lab, Nat pushed it open and rushed you inside. Bruce was waiting with a smile. He embraced you to him, giving you a slight squeeze.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Nat said, making her way back through the door. She smiled, her teeth as white as snow. “It was nice to meet you. I’ll see you around.”

And she was gone, slipping away in the darkness of the hallway with scary precision. You stared at the door for a millisecond, before turning towards the reason you were here.

“Hi, Bruce,” you said, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Good morning,” he replied shyly. He had excitement written all over his face; his eyes positively twinkling with it. “I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” you asked, sitting down in the chair that Bruce patted with his hand for you to occupy.

“Equipment!” he cried, clapping his hands together. “Actual real obstetrician equipment. We can monitor the progress of your baby now. In real time!”

His eyes lit up as he gestured to the shiny, stainless steel monitors and machines that buzzed and whirred around you.

“Bruce! This is amazing! How did you get all this?”

“Tony! Of course. When I told him what was going on, he didn’t even hesitate. He’s away, but he wanted me to tell you that we’re all here for you. And Thor. We want to help. This is Tony’s way of helping.”

“He’s done enough by letting me stay here. Thank him for me when you speak to him, but I’d like to thank him in person.”

“I’m sure you’ll get the chance,” Bruce said with a soft smile. “Now, shall we get started?”

You lifted up your shirt and laid back, as Bruce fixed the chair. His eyes grew wide as he saw your ever growing bump.

“Wow,” he whispered, his eyes widening.

You chuckled under your breath.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Tell me about it.”

“I’m not a… doctor in that right but, I don’t think you shouldn’t be, um…” he stopped, not wanting to offend you.

“This humongous?” you replied, rubbing your belly. It was true. It had only been several weeks and you couldn’t even see your feet. “This baby is growing much faster than any normal baby, that’s for sure. I swear I felt it kick me in the ribs this morning.”

“Are you experiencing any sickness? Any pain?”

“No, just a bit of nausea here and there, but nothing serious. I’m eating like a house though,” you said, suddenly feeling your stomach rumble. “I could eat a whole pizza by myself, I swear.”

“Banner!” a low, soothing voice called from the staircase, as Thor made his way down. “I came as soon as you called.” He had a smile on his face as bright as the sun when he saw you, stomach out. “What is all of this?” Thor asked excitedly.

“We’re going to look at our baby,” you beamed, reaching out for his hand. He took it, wrapping his fingers into yours. Your hands always felt so small in his own. You suddenly imagined how small your baby would look, wrapped up in his giant arms. “Bruce and Tony got us an ultrasound machine.”

“It’s 3D,” Bruce chimed in, grinning like a madman. He was so pleased with himself.

“I’m not sure what all of that means,” Thor said. “But let’s see that beautiful baby boy!”

“What makes you think it’s a boy?” you asked, raising your eyebrow.

“Let’s just say… I have a hunch,” he replied, leaning down to place his hand over your stomach, before leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. “But whatever it is, it is part of you, and I will love them with everything I have.”

“Okay,” Bruce said, snapping rubber gloves onto his hands. “Thor, could you please put this stuff on her stomach?”

“What is this?”

“It’s going to help us see the baby better.”

Thor squirted the gel onto your stomach and it was cold. You yelped and he chuckled, before clucking you quiet. Bruce placed the device to your stomach and began moving it around. The monitor across from him lit up with activity. You watched as his eyes widened.

“Wow…” he breathed, as he moved the device along your stomach.

“What is it?” you asked, doing your best not to fidget on the table. Thor squeezed your hand to make you sit still.

“I think I know why you’re um, bigger than normal.”

“Because she houses the child of the God of Thunder, that’s why,” Thor quipped, winking at you.

“Thor, aren’t you also the God of Fertility?” Bruce asked, his eyes glancing from him back to the monitor again.

“I am,” he replied with a nod. “But why do you ask?”

Bruce turned the monitor towards the both of you. There, you could see two perfect beings, like ying and yang, entwined around each other. Like peas in a pod. You could see the outlines of their faces, due to the 3D technology, and one of them clearly had Thor’s nose. The other was sucking their thumb. 

“Well... because you’re not just having one. You’re having two.”

You stared at the monitor for what felt like an eternity. No one spoke. Thor’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

“T-twins?” you finally stammered. “Can we see what they ---”

“One boy,” Bruce said before you could finish your question, moving closer to the screen to be sure. “And one girl.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. You were housing not one, but two demigods. The sudden panic of birthing two babies overwhelmed you. You felt your eyes begin to roll in the back of your head, heard the sound of Thor’s pleas for you to open your eyes, to stay with him, as you passed out on the table. 

Your field of view was black for a moment, before a vision washed over you. You were standing in what felt like a century old library, a large, stone staircase in the center of it. There was a new man you’d never seen before, pouring over a dusty book. He looked up from what he was reading as he realized something, as if an epiphany came over him, or as if he felt something. The mysterious man looked around, his eyes darting to each dark corner of the room, to be sure they were empty. The man walked to the middle of the room, his cloak billowing behind him. He was standing so close to you, but he couldn’t see you.

“I can feel you,” he said to the air, and you knew he was speaking directly to you. “I can feel your electric energy. If you can hear me, please, you need to know.”

You wanted to scream, but nothing came out. You knew he was speaking directly to you.

“My name is Dr Stephen Strange,” the man said, outstretching his hands. “Loki of Asgard has entered Earth’s atmosphere, and he means to find you.”

@howlingbarnes @captainrogerss @theashhole @sebbytrash @captain-rogers-beard@avengerofyourheart @katalina-from-hellbound @captainradicalpassion@thefallenbibliophilequote @daphne-fandom-writing @writingthingsisdifficult@radrouda @randbrie @elleatrixlestrange @ican-do-this-all-day @mojean13@izhetbean @detectiveloki23 @tomuchmarvel@keshuasd@burningrosepassion @cluelesslycluelessinclouds @simplebvtch @ldyhawkeye @marvelspidey-tomholland  @libbymouse @absentmindeduniverse @jinx-is-fire @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @flowercrownsandmetallicarms @mizzezm @starry-barnes @inumorph @sapphire1727 @gracethegeek9902 @the-people-read-marvel-spn@quierdoofthestars @gatorgal94 @generalgoldfishldrm @thebookisbtr @wonderless-screwup @charcoalartisan  @captain-starks @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13 @xx-ss-bb @interwebseriesfan24 @princess-yuna @aikibriarrose@peterman-parker  @bless-my-demons @xtina2191 @my-blackbird-universe@vgurl18 @the-geeky-engineer @apeshit7x@awkwardnesshabitat@xxdragonqueenxx @me-a-hopeless-romantic @thehuntress26  @tchallaholla @the-evil-pumpkin @waywardpumpkin @buckyofthemyscira @2ka-tja2 @queen-maximoff @potterhaven @daylight-saver @alexislsanchez @infinityblogger @alexiamiky2003 @http-ilse@systemfailuresunshine@brittanymcsharry @smoothdogsgirl @callme-barnes@tinyfistwarrior@willieshakesqueer @volvoxrain  @alwayshave-faith@metalarmlover@abbessolute @chinupdarling @witchymarvelspacecase@starmission@storiesandgarbage @hcwlingccmmandcs @part-time-patronus@diinofayce@zofty15 @danijimenezv @flyawayprincess @mizzezm @ashnicole-xxox @series-obsessed @vaisabu @occasionalfics @hazuki22@dolamrothianlady@biawol @xi-i-i-whatsyouremergency @mdgrdians@brokensimpson@charcoalartisan @always-kneel-to-loki @avengersbabe13 @spaz8550 @xx-ss-bb @gaggle-of-gays-blog @howling-at-that-moon@battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @potterhaven @whimsicalbarnes @christopher-evxns

Starting a new tag list, as it’s been awhile and I don’t know who still wants to be tagged. Add yourself

here

[babyawacs]

.@law @laws @harvard_law @all @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowd en @haaretzcom lawyers make hard facts notarstamped not only not immuni sed but clueless #howitallstarted #howitallbegan not only not immunis ed and clueless but no membership joinwho! who???? whatbunch exists da ytime itis not accident they didnot know the case theypretended twoy ears iam another human being convinced mybrother too to dropdown and rol laway?????? fromthe evil assassin not passing virginity tests barricad es ankledoutporchdoor but thebunch onsite hosted only a verfassungsschutz german government botch as itis verfassungsschutz and what localbun ch?!?!? clueless i asked em handwritten if ican keepthe roomrent contrac t ofmybrother the declined we moved away itisnt only criminal intelb otch by govt intel doingwhatthey want trying to convicne a us spy to retu rn home totheusa  itwas homesick usa hope prince reality showstarle t asprotectionlayers around who is it what can he stop raping our rogu e sideshow pet you german scums and hitem forit yes weknow he refuses to return tothe usa butyou stop doing this  to our pet very calm hand g ood character carries his horse throughthe desert isntead shooting it hates us now spits atus letscallhim llamma jungleboy harmhim more br uder richard ist auchdabei november 2001 bild maybe accordingtotheme rubbertttits securitycheck reenact panicroom with me as daughter andmymo ther as themother thiskindof shit test demolitionist skills shoot trai nign ammo atit incommado what can he isay it matters howitallstarted h owitallbegan never compensatedit they coveredup with russianmethod ba tshitnuts ntohighappened s one step away from holdstill you because t hese cockroaches shuffle tricks by intel ie which trickworks which tr ick works thistime intel ///// by "who knows who you join and what you build then" : waht is the recruitment joining ofthebunches : isuspect i ncestuous birth chains? other things chronsaeule-I technikgenie techgeni us verycalm hand skiing!?!?!?superspy notpassed virginity tests kind i fnot lovely not only notimmunised but clueless not only clueless and not immunised but quelled immunisation tocoverup and or protectionlayer no t only clueless not immunised but join who? what? membership youknow facts

.@law @laws @harvard_law @all @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowd en @haaretzcom lawyers make hard facts notarstamped not only not immuni sed but clueless #howitallstarted #howitallbegan not only not immunis ed and clueless but no membership joinwho! who???? whatbunch exists da ytime itis not accident they didnot know the case theypretended twoy ears iam another human being convinced mybrother too to dropdown and rol laway?????? fromthe evil assassin not passing virginity tests barricad es ankledoutporchdoor but thebunch onsite hosted only a verfassungsschutz german government botch as itis verfassungsschutz and what localbun ch?!?!? clueless i asked em handwritten if ican keepthe roomrent contrac t ofmybrother the declined we moved away itisnt only criminal intelb otch by govt intel doingwhatthey want trying to convicne a us spy to retu rn home totheusa  itwas homesick usa hope prince reality showstarle t asprotectionlayers around who is it what can he stop raping our rogu e sideshow pet you german scums and hitem forit yes weknow he refuses to return tothe usa butyou stop doing this  to our pet very calm hand g ood character carries his horse throughthe desert isntead shooting it hates us now spits atus letscallhim llamma jungleboy harmhim more br uder richard ist auchdabei november 2001 bild maybe accordingtotheme rubbertttits securitycheck reenact panicroom with me as daughter andmymo ther as themother thiskindof shit test demolitionist skills shoot trai nign ammo atit incommado what can he isay it matters howitallstarted h owitallbegan never compensatedit they coveredup with russianmethod ba tshitnuts ntohighappened s one step away from holdstill you because t hese cockroaches shuffle tricks by intel ie which trickworks which tr ick works thistime intel ///// by “who knows who you join and what you build then” : waht is the recruitment joining ofthebunches : isuspect i ncestuous birth chains? other things chronsaeule-I technikgenie techgeni us verycalm hand skiing!?!?!?superspy notpassed virginity tests kind i fnot lovely not only notimmunised but clueless not only clueless and not immunised but quelled immunisation tocoverup and or protectionlayer no t only clueless not immunised but join who? what? membership youknow facts

.@law @laws @harvard_law @all @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom lawyers make hard facts notarstamped not only not immunised but clueless #howitallstarted #howitallbegan not only not immunised and clueless but no membership joinwho! who???? whatbunch exists daytime itis not accident they didnot know the case theypretended twoyears iam another human being convinced mybrother too…

[ivanaskye]

lotr liveblog pt. 3, in which elrond (aka the bean) appears and screaming intensifies

(we left off with the appearance of glorfindel. buckle in folks, it’s about to take probably multiple full posts of this liveblog just to get through a few chapters... bc I will comment on almost every sentence in Imladris.)

OH OF COURSE

GOLDEN HAIR WAS MENTIONED, of effing COURSE it is glorfindel. I AM A FOOL. anyway hello elf friend!!!

hey ppl are mentioning Elrond again. Predictably, I have feelings.

oh glorfindel put the gem down! ok

Arwen gets that line in the movie, of course. where the other four are I do not know....

Glorfindel was that a slight jab at humanity? “Though maybe your eyes cannot see them.” Ur better than this glorfindel I believe in u

“the elf-tongue” yea which one.

NORO LIM!! I know these words and it just makes me think of being super enchanted w arwen when I was like... 5 and already very gay.

Omg I LOVE Frodo’s direct confrontation w the nazgul it feels. good and tense and... good

Elbereth and Lúthien !!!

[book 2 starts here!]

AFTER ALL THE ABSURD THINGS YOU HAVE DONE SINCE YOU LEFT HOME wow Gandalf what a roast

“but talking would stop me thinking and wondering, which are quite tiring” I feel u frodo

Kings from over the sea.... house of elros, I have feelings

Elrond has tended u <33 Good caring elf

Real robes the nazgul wear to give shape to their nothingness... that’s cool

Lords of the Eldar from beyond the furthest seas... which elrond is not one of.

LIVE AT ONCE IN BOTH WORLDS... how does that fit? Isn’t that anti-elf, bc elves are bound to Arda, which even across continents is ONE world? Explain urself Gandalf

“Upon the other side” WHAT side.

Yessssss Elrond made the flood yessss

Rivendell <33

Sam... stroked Frodo’s hand and then blushed? There is no heterosexual explanation for this.

ELVES HERE AND ELVES THERE... sounds like my late night conversations

GANDALF HAS BEEN SAYING MANY CHEERFUL THINGS LIKE THAT. hghgghg pippin.

[at this point elrond appears and I scream.]

my boy... my boy!!!

GANDALF’S EYES WERE LIKE COALS... jfc could it be any more obvious what ring he has???

HE!!!!!! THE MEMORY OF MANY THINGS BOTH GLAD AND SORROWFUL!!!!!! /HE!!!!!!!!/

In his eyes!!! A light like the light of stars!!!!! HE!!!!

MIGHTY AMONG BOTH ELVES AND MEN!!! my son!!!

Oh hey it’s arwen! Young she was and yet not so!!! Hey did u know..... I love EVERY elf and EVERY EVERY peredhil.

All the house of elrond is just... <333

I’m even having feelings about Gloin.... I have a lot of feelings ok.

Hey.... dwarves are Good

Yup bc there can’t be a fire without Gandalf immediately talking or otherwise associating with it. Gandalf u wannabe arsonist u.

OMG, I can’t Believe elrond shares my tastes in interior decorating and lighting........

The first thing... Elrond says... is with a smile... and just unbelievably kind... I JUST....

Bilbo is bantering wth elrond this is so good and pure I’m gonna cry

I’m... love... Elrond....

“I shan’t travel again” haha Bilbo little do u know ur going to valinor!!!

“Time doesn’t seem to pass here: it just is.” Normally this would not be my aesthetic but in this context t seems kind and good....

“YOU SEEM TO HAVE A LOT OF NAMES.” So has also said everyone with even a passing familiarity with lotr, lmao

House of elros <3

“Lady Arwen was there” BILBO ICAN HEAR YOUR WINKING THROUGH THE PAGES.

/seas of foam that sighed upon the margins of the world./ hey... hey... that’s rude I’m gonna cry...

EÄRENDIL!!!!!!!!!! HE!!!!!

All these mineral and rock names are giving me Broken Earth feelings... wrong book...

BEYOND THE DAYS OF MORTAL LANDS. hi I have feelings.. again.

Gnashing of narrow ice!!! The helcaraxe!!!

ELWING!!!

how does elrond feel hearing abt his parents.....

[notimetoblog]

Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @bibibucky 💓 

nickname: Em or M (they’re the same thing lol)

gender: Female

star sign: Taurus

height: 5′5′”

time: 1:17 pm

birthday: May 6

favorite bands: Florence + The Machine, Jon Batiste and Stay Human, The Beatles, 

favourite solo artists: Adele, James Bay, Bruno Mars 

song that’s suck in your head: “Big God” by Florence + The Machine

last movie: Ghostbusters (lol)

last tv show: Nailed It!! (yay for season 2 !!!)

why did you create this blog: I wanted to follow Marvel stuff and also fic writers :)

what do you post/reblog: Marvel, Sebastian Stan, fics!!!, awesome quotes, amazing pictures, things that make me laugh

last thing you googled: the score for the Argentina vs France game 

other blogs: I dont think I have any lol

why the url: lol because I really shouldn't be on tumblr... I most likely have other things to take care of and really dont have time to blog but I JUST CANT STOP! :)

I follow: 221

followers: 586

lucky number: 6

instruments: violin and I picked up tiny tiny bit of the ukulele

what are you wearing: t-shirt (a really soft one I love) and shorts.. its a lazy Saturday lol

dream job: University History Professor!!!

last book you read: Revolution for Dummies by Bassem Youssef 

top 3 universes: I dont really know what can count as a universe. MCU (for sure) but I dont know what else lol

I’m tagging : @gottalovekidding @sweetboybucky @softhairbarnes @ican-do-this-all-day @silverbvcky @stupidsweaterwearingdumbdorks @jitterbuck

[marcazoshop]

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Meet bonner bolton after breaking his c 2 vertebra in a Vikings No One Loves A Warrior Until The Enemy Is At The Gate T-Shirt riding accident this world champion professional bull rider revealed his true fighting spirit overcoming paralysis against all odds ican. Breastfeeding can be a wonderful and sometimes challenging experience going into it feeling prepared can help make the whole process a whole lot easier for you and your baby especially when you re first getting the hang of it here are 15 things nursing mamas need 1 patience go easy on yourself it won t always be perfect but what you re doing is amazing and so worth it 2 prenatal vitamins continuing to take your honest prenatal vitamins while breastfeeding can help to make sure you’re getting nutrients that you may be lacking from diet alone 3 nursing pillow using a nursing pillow will help you properly position your baby and take some physical stress off your body when feeding 4 nursing bra a nursing bra provides comfort support and convenience 5 netflix a newborn will usually nurse for 20 45 minutes or longer per feeding so it s the perfect time to catch up on some of your favorite shows 6 nursing pads prevent leaking through your tops by having nursing pads handy to absorb any milk leaks and unintentional let down 7 water staying hydrated while breastfeeding is crucial so it s smart to up your daily water intake try a keeping reusable water bottle where you nurse to help you remember to drink it 8 support the first few months of breastfeeding can be physically mentally and emotionally challenging lean on your partner mama friends and loved ones for support 9 lactation supplement honest postnatal lactation plus can help support healthy lactation and breast milk production 10 nursing friendly clothes comfy clothing will allow for easier access especially when feeding on the go 11 nipple balm soothe and nourish nursing nipples with honest organic nipple balm this product is designed for breastfeeding so there s no need to wipe off before nursing 12 breast pain relief using hot or cold packs can help relieve some of the soreness associated with breastfeeding you don t need a fancy product a simple warm wash cloth or ice pack will do the trick 13 nursing scarf if you ll be nursing in public some moms like to have a nursing scarf for for more discreet feedings 14 an app breastfeeding there s an app for that some of our favorites help you track feedings locate public places to nurse or even put you in instant contact with an expert check out latchme baby breastfeeding tracker or lactmed just to name a few and see what suits you best 15 help never be afraid to get help grab a trusted book for tips stop by a breastfeeding support center like the pump station or reach out to a lactation consultant who can help identify and solve any issues you may be having these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration these products are not intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease. Coming to the show in las vegas tonight add your video photos tweets to our live coverage using u2eitour not going to the show follow it all here

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[abhisheksingh098]

Bleach Rap | Gotei 13 Captains | None Like Joshua

Bleach Rap | Gotei 13 Captains | None Like Joshua

Bleach Rap | Gotei 13 Captains | CDawgVA, None Like Joshua - Lyrics

(CDawgVA) Yamamoto:-

Yamamoto, you know you are drownin in flames, commander of the captains with a thousand year reign. I don’t fight with kids, so how do you think we are the same? I am only giving Punishment if you disobeying the law, and an arm for the safety us all cause nobody is strong or wise enough to replace me. Making you respect your elder with a blade sheathed. Then I will introduce you to The gotei with a G-O-A-T <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Chi-Chi)  Soi-Fon/Sui-feng:-

Sui-Feng, I am coming to beat you, commander of onmitsukido. Bounce like a butterfly, sting like a hornet. You better be Fearin my Shunpo, fast like the wind I am flying. Haters all be denyin, Boi I don’t I falter. Best pray at the altar, less you getting stung by my Zanpakuto. I sguggest that you start running, cause otherwise I be gunning. You better respect, cause in Two hits or Less, Ican take you all down like, what more do I gotta say. Can´t you look me in the eye, Is it cause I hit these bars, Harder than my BANKAI <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Bakert the Legend) Rose:-

Young Rose, young Rose. Best captain, 3rd Division Izuru be the Lieutenant. Ambition like a musician, zanpak be the gold whip, shikai got a flower ion the tip, long sweep make em retreat, the whip sound like Piano keys, Bankai let me use the Music then create an illusion if I get to ya heart right now promise you won´t be moving with Gotei 13 analyzer in visored any cost and any means must stop Gin and Aizen (Savy Hyuga) Unohana:- Retsu, First Kenpachi. Saving the day flying on Minatsuki, captain of the 4th coming to help those in need it will all be good if my blade stays sheathed. From 11th to 4th Division, got bored started looking for another vision, had to learn how to heal so fight time could lengthen. Love to see them run when my blades seems crimson. You can both love and hate my zanpakuto, from shikai to bankai  ready lets go. Better go all in one come on gimme a show, I wouldn’t hold back when you´re battling a pro. Yea I know I come off as friendly, but I am ready to buck if you tempt me. It´s okay you can bag mercy, nothings changed I am still bloodthirsty <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (GameboyJones) Shinji:-

Captain of the 5th, zanpakuto equip, Shinji Hirako and I am back up in this *** (bitch I guess). I am a shinigami but ain´t bout to use a Death Note. Pull out Sakenade, then kill Aizen with these death strokes. I am a joker why is everybody so serious? All that I want is the love, but these girls think I am an idiot, I don’t even need last  long all that I need is 5 minutes when I use hollowfication, I am leavin enemy´s diminished (None Like Joshua) Byakuya:- Byakuya, got you counting petals of the sakura. Am I gonna let you live or let you die when I chop you up ? With my Zanpakuto Thousand swords enclose foes becoming ghosts, then you can tell my ex-wife that  I said hello. (yeah Bankai) You are at the bottom of the ladder, I am on a higher level while you lookin tattered with the pride in all I do they know I never lose a battle, movin faster when I am stepping with a flash only after will you see a newer gash an all your blood will start to splatter. In my hurtless area, nothing you say will matter so I make my enemies scatter. (Shikai) <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Shwabadi) Komamura:-

Heavenly retribution. Big dog, when I am in fights i´mma quick draw with a big knife , got the whip on and I spit fire. ROAR TENKEN. I am an expert and you will die to me, I am the greatest beast  that you are finding in soul society. KOKUHO TENGEN MYO-O, There is no Mercy, though my heart´s gold. Looking heavy, but I am artful heavenly Zanpakuto. Oh BANKAI. Before I finish you with Tenken, My Names Komamura I am the captain of the 7th (RA) (Video Game Rap Battle) Kyoraku:-

How bout a drink? This finishin´ bussines isn´t what you think.  Y´all know me, I am Shunsui, not here to fight less I am pushed to the Brink. Grab another bottle Let´s t6alk it out, find a crazy lady an I am here to bone em. If you wanna Battle I will not go down I will end you when we verse like it be a poem. It´s never too late, you don’t wanna see me with two blades, walk that rose colored path, that’s all the blood from when you slain´ Shinigami until´ we both meat again when we in hell. I am slicin´ up chads like an incel, so how bot that drink for this dispels <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Connor Quest) Kensei:-

69 tat, but don´t snitch like rats, giving you six slits, like the ones that are in my mask, pissed when I hit and my fist might smash, break ribs with a big  strike. SMASH. Breeze heavy like a cinderblock I got my zanpakuto and the wind´ll knock you right back, mowed down with the blades like grass stil give ´um the elbow like I am the rock. Kensei Mugurama, captain of the 9th division, slash the combat knife I am gripping, blast when my shikai is triggered, aggressive nature This immaturity gets me riled, I confess I won´t even go easy on a freakin´ child (Dizzy Eight) Toshiro:-

Top tier be the status, the ice drip looking lavish. I spit like a dragon I got the opps in a panic Division 10 captain, Hitsugaya I am a menace flow cold no gimmick, Hyorinmaru then you are finished. I gotta be some kinda prodigy, ideal with ice but there is no one as hot as me. Young and a boss, that’s why they follow me when I evolve ain´t no one stopping me. You go bye bye when I use bankai, if you sleeping on me than its night night. I might look like a young kid, but play with me everybody getting flatlined <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Dreaded Yasuke) Kenpachi:-

Zanpakuto, HA, man what is that? I preffer this sword crate a new curve inside of your back, that’s my word. Have you ever seen a leash without a latch? I am a beast with many potentials, but where is the fun in that? Facing an demon with an eye patch where every swing is a bomb with one hand send you to your maker, while the choir is singing psalms, sweat up ya palms, but I am calm and glad to be the aggressor  and don´t want no qualms when I release my spiritual pressure. (SKetti) Mayuri:-

Mayuri Kurotsuchi, yes some say I am insane captain of the 12th division got my research on display. I got Ashisogi Jizo here to vent out my Disdain so I will dig it in your veins until your bodies turning grey. My contemt got me tempted to take all your intestines and test this blade since I am restless within research I am invested and yes nothing´s truly perfect, so stop acting like you don´t know, cause if you step to me you will get clapped Szyalaporro <![CDATA[ (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); ]]> (Tokumei) Ukitake:-

Double wield to double pain, when I pull my zanpakuto leave you with ``nada´´ 

I am a product of an honorable road. I slaughter my foes with illness into the bars I have spoke, cause I have been sick since himigami saved me from my throat I am killing with Sogyo no Kotawari, alwaystry to show remorse but no sorries tell me who be dropping Ukitake ain´t no living who can stop me, imam known hero you ain´t topping , better run home before you get bodied boutta unload the show will popping, Yamamoto I had the bro wobbling ain´t never taking down Jushiro Ukitake

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[gureiify]

Screaming into the VOID; OR; writing therapy

Warning! personal long post including trauma, mental illness and all the fun stuff that goes along with that.  This will be a multi-part series as I try to work through my own brain. It needs to come out, before i lose my ability to cope entirely. I don't expect anyone to read it, but i need to know it's out there. Thanks <3

This morning I had a panic attack. wait, maybe i should back up.

Two weeks ago I ran out of my medicine. No, Further back? 

Six years ago the world ended. ahh, too far,too far. 

Lets start again.

I have a mental illness. more then one actually. but that’s how these things go, there are disorders and conditions and illnesses and they are all comorbid with each other so if you have one, you probably have two or three, and they intertwine until you end up with a grocery list of disorders that you can't even tell apart any more. 

I have MDD (major depressive disorder) that first manifested at age 12, and grew steadily like a malignant shadow until it was a quilted darkness that smothered me until i was pulled free long enough to get some semblance of help. now it's a towel that i carry in my back pocket. a thin ever present cloth that i have to take out and wash and dry sometimes before i put it away again.   I have PTSD and Anxiety that i developed after a traumatic event. (we'll get there I'm sure) I call it the Day The World Ended. It affects my life in new and unexpected ways constantly. I recover from and develop triggers and phobias seemingly constantly. 

I have EDS (Ehnlers Danlos syndrome) which is not a mental disorder but a physical one. My joints are like lose rubber bands and sometimes the slightest twist or pull will result in damage and pain and an inescapable feeling of being a LESSer human. of inhabiting a body that is slowly falling apart. 

I take medicine. or at least I did. before my husbands employer decided to cut costs and go with a new insurance provider. a provider my doctor, my lovely beloved, caring, wonderful doctor, does not accept. a change that came right before a chance to have my medicine reevaluated, and changed to something more,,,, MORE. a change that was put that on hold while i scramble to find a new doctor. In the mean time I have to stop taking my pills. Pills that don't seem to do much until you aren't taking them. Then you're brain is falling apart, and your heart is racing all the time and the slightest sign of anger in loved one causes your skin to crawl and you want to run away crying into the sunrise. 

So I have panic attacks. sometimes they are small. My hearts races and my head swims and I sit there thinking, What is happening? and i don't notice that i'm freaking out until I'm deep in it and i look down at my heart monitor strapped to my wrist and see my heart is beating away at 120BPM even though I'm just sitting in my computer chair in my nice house doing nothing. 

Sometimes they aren't so small. Sometimes they're eyes tightly closed, clutching the blanket tight around me while my heart pounds heavy and the blood rushes in my ears and i think i'm going to die. 

Sometimes they're large. Big Scary. creeping up behind me before pouncing, or hitting suddenly like a sucker punch to the jaw. The kind where you can't catch you're breath, like it's a struggle to draw each gasping wheezing sob. And with each desperate gasp stolen it gets harder and harder to draw the next and you're sure you'll stop breathing entirely. The hiccuping sound so loud it wakes up the person next to you. I have a husband who talks me through. His voice the only thing grounding me, telling me just breath, deep, it's ok, it's ok, it's ok, you'll make it, breath deep, hang on it's ok. until I've come down long enough to take long strangled breaths again and maybe it'll be ok after all. He holds my hand while i crush it in my grip, holding his arm and it must hurt, it must, i'm gripping so hard but i can't feel my finders or my hands and it's only the soreness in my fingers when i finally, finally, let go that tells me how hard i must have been clutching him. Then shame and disappointment and the need to say i'm sorry even though i can barely push words through my stiff lips and still mostly closed throat. 

and what caused this? A post. on facebook. a friends vacation photos and a paragraph where he talks about his great time. I'm happy for him, i'm scared. my husband and i are going to the same place 8 months from now. a vacation we've planed and loved and wanted for years. and that the reality didn't hit me untill just then. and all my brain could scream at me, 

I CAN"T GO BACK

ICAN"TGOBACKICAN"TGOBACKCANTGOBACKCANTGONBACKCANTCANTCANT

because that the place, the place i love more then any other on earth, the place my heart calls for. 

the place the World Ended.