#Idk if the trigger warning was needed

[dust-to-dustier]

‘Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la FUCK

[TRIGGER WARNING: IMPLICATIONS OF SOMEONE DROWNING]

FAMILIAR WATERS:

Wading through calf-height water.

A tedious slog through 

disproportionate resistance.

I cannot just get out of the sea,

Walk on the land-

It would be cold and I’m here now and well,

I’ve been swimming so long I may have forgotten how to walk.

And i could paddle if I go slightly deeper,

Swim by the edge of the sea, for speed,

Rather than wade,

Cold and miserable through salt water,

But though it is faster I shall be exhausted.

The waves give and take and take

Their ever-receding cycle does not fit me-

I shall not swim further into the sea.

To brave deeper waters,

Or be thrown into them,

Is to be caught in the riptide

I fear I would drown,

As I see others who struggle every day,

Buoyant and afloat and fighting

The cruel and unforgiving sea,

Just to breathe, just to live.

And I watch them from the shore,

I myself am trapped in the waves,

Forever pulling me back in,

Like the hands of a desperate child.

And I cannot ignore them, 

For their strength is greater than mine.

I can no more save the drowning man,

Than step onto the sand, and save myself.

[redflagshipwriter]

preview for Check Yes to go on a Date with a Dead Guy

Danny opened his mouth. He shut it. He put a hand over his mouth. “Huh,” he said. “Huh.” His brow furrowed. “If I said it was scientific curiosity and that passion for death runs in my family- no, I hear it.” He flapped a hand at Jason to cut off the laugh he couldn’t stop. “Hush. Okay. Fine.” He stood up a little straighter. “I’m a necrophiliac and I’m proud.”

A window banged shut in the kitchen and there was a clatter as someone’s shitty little brother fell into the sink.

“...Hi, Duke!” Danny called.

Masterpost

[gnawgag]

game shows touch our lives - the mountain goats // unidentified man 3 - sarah charlesworth

[circadianrhythmofthekiller]

Perhaps on of the false BB’s we see throughout the games, like the moral art BBs or one of the BB killer cosplayers.

day 33 - if you meet bb in the road…. you’re DEAD

[candyheartedchy]

Just wanted to experiment with lighting a little and this was mostly based on a conversation with @somethingscarlet13 about Bill possessing Bright Eyes at some point and they both get flashbanged by her seeing Bill’s past and Bill seeing a painful future vision.

[aphidclan-clangen]

Ollie how are you ALIVE??.

boy has so much mental illness it’s insane

[proshipconfessions]

I get really uncomfortable and frankly scared when people invade proship tags/spaces to talk about reality. I don't have an issue with (fictional) incest, underage, feral/yiff, abuse, whatever, but I've seen way too many people bragging about being or supporting MAPs/pedos, zoophiles, consangs, and "radqueers" and "irl yandere" and stuff in our tags. Not only is it unrelated, but they're talking about real-life abusive things in spaces that have always been about ONLY fiction. Proship spaces are starting to feel really unsafe because of it. I wish paraphiles, consangs, etc. would stop using the proFICTION tags to talk about their fantasies about raping REAL kids/animals/family/etc or stalking/abusing REAL people. Same with "AAM" and "icky kiddo" accounts run by minors posting inappropriate sexual things about themselves and trying to coerce adults, in our profiction tags, too (which is dangerous no matter where they do it obviously, but why HERE?)

———

[weaselishmcdiesel]

C-can I maybe request some vampire Mumbo? and maybe blood sucking if that doesn't make you too uncomfortable.

damn why he suckin so hard. anyway-

[mothscotch]

might write a little fic later

transcript:

"Senses are weird"

"my eyes... see. How do they see? With veins and nerves, but, how?"

"there are many."

"then none. It does not affect my sight."

"one, two, one, two, four, the 7, and 2."

"are they even mine? Is my body my own?"

"I am a vessel. A tool. Something to be used. Am i a person , or a machine? Is it i in my reflection? what am i?"

"Hear. I hear screams as i turn their heads into liquid. I hear pleads that go unheard. I listen for footsteps. Clink, clink, clink. My ears are good. They hear what I refuse to. I hear but not listen. I hear flesh become mush become splattered. I hear voices tell me what ive done. I hear praise."

"My hands... touch is the sense. They touch blood. They touch impurity. My hands are dirty. theres blood on them. Its not mine though. Its the hostiles that crossed my path. I killed them. I couldnt help myself from killing them. I enjoyed it. What sick animal enjoys hurting people? I couldnt stop when i saw the first blood. Was my hand forced, or did i force the hand? Do they know what 'purify' means? Does anyone? Do i? Im a sick monster. I get excited when i see gore. A switch flicks. I am not of my own. Taste. I can taste meat on my tounge. I taste my spit. I taste my blood."

[burgershapedidiot]

Hey therians of Tumblr! I've not made one of these posts before, but if you have clinical lycanthropy/zoanthropy or just want to support our neurodivergent friends, please block this person!

They commented this (under my comment) under a tiktok post that was saying that you shouldn't demonize these disorders and that they shouldn't be ridiculed for what they can't control.

1. That's not the only thing people say to them. 2. Why are you throwing your fellow people with a disability under the bus?

Idk if I'm overreacting but this was definitely not nice to see from a big creator. Let's not exclude members of our community that have been around since the AHWW days!

[ineed-to-sleep]

Watching the machine do the thing is kinda cool actually

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

[fishybehavior]

I wrote it! :>

Jay gets kidnapped by the administration and implied memory wipe

----

Jay winced and blinked as a bright spotlight suddenly turned on in the pitch black room he was in. Suddenly aware that he was restrained to an uncomfortable metal chair, he blinked and squinted against the light to see a desk he was sitting in front of. A woman in her late 40's was sitting behind the desk, not even glancing at him as she shuffled her papers and cleared her throat.

"Congratulations Mr. Walker on passing your interview at The Administration's offices." The lady spoke, her voice monotone and bored, not paying any attention to the man she was talking to as Jay struggled against the restraints keeping him to his chair.

"You must have the wrong guy!" Jay chuckled nervously as the woman glared at him for the first time, "I haven't applied to any job recently. This is just a misunderstanding." The woman glared at him for another second before continuing with her speech in the same monotone and bored voice.

"As you might know, many more positions have opened in the conpany with the recent merging of the 16 realms. And we need upstanding and hardworking people to help maintain order and harmony as The Administration swears to all under its jurisdiction -

"Lady! You don't seem to understand!" Jay snapped lighting arching off him as he became increasingly annoyed and panicked, "I don't know what interview or job your offering me, I crash landed here a week ago and I've been trying to leave this whole week! I don't want to work here, I already got a job! Yeah, I'm a NINJA, the elemental master of LIGHTNING!! I don't need a desk job!!"

The lady didn't even look at him as he talked, instead standing up and fiddling with a contraption hanging from the ceiling over her desk.

"I understand, Mr. Walker imposter syndrome is a very common problem, when someone feels that a position being offered is above their previous experience and expectations. Especially when you are being offered this manager role with no previous experience. But the Administrator themselves picked you to head this new department.

"But do not worry. A part of your benefits is access to a confidence and training program that is offered to anyone who may be hesitant to accept these responsibilities." The lady said, pressing a button on the contraption, and it began to hum. Slowly getting louder as if it was powering up.

"I'll go ahead and sign you up for the program. Welcome to The Administration. Remember to dot your i's and cross your t's. We are counting on you." She finished, and the machine made a popping sound.

Jay felt a sharp pain in the center of his forehead, his body jolt, and just as quickly as he came to, he lost consciousness.

[w98pops]

pelican king and mother wasp

matters of flesh, mostly.

[sidetongue]

My newest foster, Trickle. 

[p0is0n-is-th3-cur3]

what if I pierced my nose with this safety pin