#Ik I’m not funny but I’d like to pretend

[flaccid-rats]

I keep an on-going list I call “Things I Did As A Kid That Really Should Have Made Me Realize I’m A Trans Man Sooner” and I would like to share it bc I think it’s funny as hell

constantly asking my mom what she would have named me if I was a boy (it was Benjamin, and the way I went ‘oh I kinda ike that’ every time really should have clued me in)

keeping my hair cut as short as I could get away with

Mulan was (and still is) one of my favorite movies and I’d keep rewinding the tape and just watch the Be A Man sequence over and over so many times that my parents told me to quit it bc they were tired of listening to the song

I straight up cried the first time my mom put makeup on me (it was for a middle school dance, for context. I was 13-14. You know, the age where most girls start wearing makeup) (my mom stopped trying to get me to wear makeup the second I started freaking out btw)

I wanted to do ‘boy things’ with my dad, specifically fishing and deer hunting but I couldn’t actually bring myself to kill a deer so I instead read comic books and watched superhero cartoons and other “boy shows” with my dad (we still sometimes rewatch og yugioh together tbh)

I was OBSESSED with spiderman

(I am still obsessed with spiderman)

every time me and my sisters played literally anything together I was always the boy/tomboy character

when we went clothes shopping for the new school year I went exclusively for jeans and t-shirts

I was always vaguely uncomfortable every time I wore a skirt/dress and I could never understand why but like. Makes sense now

one of my friends wanted to make a show (?) (idk I blocked out most of high school) and when they gave me my character my literal first thought was “I should make her a trans guy” (that REALLY should have clued me in)

pretended to smoke those stick hard pretzels like it was a cigarette bc that’s what my dad and uncle did (this was also when my dad quit smoking so like. Good on him for realizing he was being a bad influence with that one)

we had a wii and I kept making my mii character a boy

[cowgurrrl]

omg! another thing to add for oftm lol, ik there's already so much content regarding the series lol but you know that meme where it has rdj and Chris Hemsworth and their kids? it's like this parent vs this parent or something like that?? well it reminds me of a thought of how there'd for sure be photos like that of rockstar!joel and actress!reader or even videos of them that or just so out of context and it's hilarious! it could be a video of reader explaining something but people take it the wrong way or think it's something inappropriate she's talking about LMAOO or a photo of joel and his band on stage and he makes a silly face. it'd be great truly lol, the fans make memes out of those moments and, again, the fan comments are great too

HAHAHAHA YES

I think they’d be asked about the kids in talk shows and as they get a little bit older, they’re willing to share a little bit more!! Like I can totally imagine actress!reader and Joel on a show like the Graham Norton show where there’s multiple guests at one time and a picture of Joel launching Sophia into the water while you, Ellie, and Sarah look on from your chair on vacation gets shown on screen, her excited and only a little terrified face makes everyone laugh. When you get asked to explain the image, you look at Joel. “I don’t condone this by the way,” you say and Joel gives you a look. “It’s a little fun.” “For them!” “Okay, fine,” Joel concedes. “When my oldest daughter was little, she would always wanna jump in the pool like wouldn’t even wait to take off her shoes. So, I started telling her she’s only allowed to jump in the pool if I’m in the water, ready to catch her, and of course that wasn’t enough so I told her I’d throw her instead ‘cause I figured I could control how far and how many times and whatever. Turns out, the little daredevil gene doesn’t get skipped ‘cause all five of ‘em are the same way so this is what I call ‘preventive parenting.’” “And I call it ‘giving me a heart attack’”

Maybe a few years later, you’re on a different talk show and someone asks you about a video Joel recently posted of you and you immediately know what they’re referencing. “Okay, this was not my finest parenting moment BUT,” you start. “It’s still super funny.” The video starts playing and you can hear Sam practicing his trumpet in his room during his middle school band stint. You and Joel are stifling laughter down the hallway when Violet suddenly comes out of her room in all her eight-year-old attitude, slams his door opens, and yells, “can you shut the fuck up?!” Joel starts laughing and you’re immediately in mom mode. “Violet Isabelle, that is not how you speak to your brother!” You scold. She spins on her heels and throws her arms up in defeat at being caught before changing tactics. “You say it to Daddy all the time!” The video ends with Joel hysterically laughing on the floor and you trying to keep it together to explain what “adult language” is. “In my defense,” you say. “Being married to a musician is like being married to a human noise machine and after so many years of playing shows, his hearing isn’t the best. So, yeah, sometimes he needs a little reminder that he’s being loud.”

I also see the kids posting TikTok pranks once theyre teenagers like one time Sam recorded a video of you and Sophia pretending to get into an argument when she stomps away with a “Shut up!” Joel, watching the whole thing from the kitchen, jumps into action. “Hey! Do not tell my wife to shut up!” Or there’s another video floating around of Ellie and Sarah surprising you at work after not seeing them for a while but they hid in your trailer’s bathroom so you didn’t know they were there until you went to take off your makeup and they jumped out and scared you. “Don’t fucking do that shit!” You yell before realizing it’s your daughters and they’re on the ground, giggling together, and you got caught. It’s all in good fun and demonstrates that no matter how crazy your life may be, you’re just another family at the end of the day

Here are some silly images that remind me of this little group too :-)

[wonieleles]

— GET TO KNOW ME !

thanks for tag bestie @hanniluvi 🫶🫶

NOTE. for anyone who’s planning on doing this there’s a birthday question but skipped it

FAV COLOR? — blue (ik basic but yea)

ANY PETS? — i have chickens ig?

HEIGHT? — 741901 ft tall 🤗🤗

HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU HAVE? — i think maybe 5 or so? i’m not entirely sure cause i have a lot of shoes that i don’t really wear anymore

FAV SONG? — i can’t really think of one tbh 😭😭 so i’ll go with the one spotify gave me which is honey by big time rush !! but like sure thing (sped up ver) like the tiktok audio has been stuck in my head lately

FAV MOVIE? — probably crazy rich asians but i love a lot of movies

IDEAL PARTNER? — short ver a christian (preferably chinese) guy who understands me and makes me feel loved. who’s also funny, intelligent, and caring. and also has a good relationship with their family and similar interests as me. basically someone who complements me (no i don’t mean compliment).

DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? — i love kids cause they’re so cute so definitely in the future but i will definitely have to see whether or not i’m financially capable of taking care of them before deciding

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW? — i don’t even go out that much and have strict asian christian immigrant parents so no i’d probably get killed if i did 😭😭 but also it’s not something i would do even if my parents didn’t care and i hope you guys are like that too

WHAT COLOR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING? — i’m not wearing socks rn …

FAV MUSIC GENRE? — hmm ig kpop/pop i mean i like rnb as well tho

HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH? — one for my head and sometimes a second one to hug

WHAT POSITION DO YOU SLEEP IN? — side. i alternate every night but i usually don’t sleep in any other position cause sleep paralysis

SOMETHING YOU HATE WHEN SLEEPING? — um ig loud people or sounds in general. i usually don’t wake up from them but when i’m trying to fall asleep it’s hard to. OH and also i hate when it’s cold like i have to make sure i’m warm when i sleep but i refuse to wear socks so more blankets usually or a jacket

BREAKFAST? — usually i eat whatever’s quick and can be on the go so like granola bars, bread, doughnuts, etc. but if i’m not in a rush or going out anywhere i might eat cereal or eggs and sausages (but usually i wake up too late for breakfast those days anyways)

HAVE YOU TRIED ARCHERY? — yes i have !! my summer camp used to have an archery range so i played then but i wasn’t v good …

FAV FRUIT? — it’s a tie between mangoes, apples, asian pears, and strawberries

ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? — i think? i feel like i’m good at lying if i really wanted to but most of the time i want the other person to know cause i feel guilty so i hint at it being a lie or just tell them straight up

WHAT IS YOUR MBTI? — istj ! i took the 16personalities test quite a few times and it gave me each time but then i took the sakinorva and keys2cognition ones to double check cause i bear 16personalities is inaccurate. and i still got the same result so yea 😁😁 i also agree with it cause i feel like i relate to it a lot

INDOOR OR OUTDOOR PERSON? — indoors for sure it always feels so draining to go out 😭😭

LEFTY OR RIGHTY? — righty if you’re referring to hands otherwise i’m a lefty

FAV FOOD? — the vietnamese shrimp spring rolls 😋

FAV FOREIGN FOOD? — umm tteokbokki or tonkatsu

CLEAN OR MESSY? — i feel like it depends cause when the place is already messy i can’t bring myself to clean it but it’s already clean i try my best to maintain it

MOST USED PHRASE? — “ain’t no way”

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO GET READY? — usually around 30 mins unless if i’m trying to look pretty or get distracted while getting ready then it’ll take about 1 hour

DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? — yes ofc who doesn’t love pretending to be a youtuber 😋😋 but also i usually talk to myself as i’m thinking like i answer my own questions kind of thing

DO YOU SING TO YOURSELF? — obviously i’m gonna sing even when there’s nobody around like do you not?

BIGGEST FEAR? — either failure or being forgotten they’re both pretty up there

DO YOU GOSSIP? — yes it’s entertaining i can’t lie 😭

DO YOU LIKE SHORT OR LONG HAIR? — long just cause i feel like i can do more with it like hairstyles

FAV SCHOOL SUBJECT? — MATH i love math 🫶🫶

EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT? — i like to think i’m an introvert but maybe i’m just a shy extrovert cause social interactions with friends can be fun sometimes but i do need alone time so idk anymore

WHAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS? — um social interactions with strangers or like popular kids omg they’re so judgmental i feel ALSO SCHOOL PRESENTATIONS LIKE PLEASE NO and tests cause i always feel like i won’t do well

WHO WAS YOUR FIRST REAL CRUSH? — honestly idk if i had one yet i think i tend to either like people cause of the idea of them or because they liked me first

HOW MANY PIERCINGS? — two !! one on each ear

HOW MANY TATTOOS? — i don’t have any and i probably won’t get any later on

HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN? — not fast enough. i’m like painfully slow

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR? — dark brown with grown out blond highlights (?) i had the silver peekaboo hair but it’s grown out and faded idk how to explain it

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? — dark brown

WHAT MAKES YOUR ANGRY? — a lot of things but probably when people lie to/hide things from me about something big or when they don’t do something they promised

DO YOU LIKE YOUR NAME? — yes i feel like it fits me really well

DO YOU WANT A BOY OR GIRL IF YOU HAD A CHILD? — girl for sure i’d be able to give them my jewelry and purses and everything and like mother daughter dates

WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS? — i’m able to think pretty logically and i think i’m good at giving advice. i’m also pretty observant and analytical

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES? — i tend to doubt myself and my abilities a lot. i also think v negatively

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR BED SHEETS? — white with blue stripes

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BEDROOM? — purple but like it’s close to blue and it’s kinda of a light shade

tagging: anyone who wants to do it !!

[laurynelizjohn]

I honestly shouldn’t be roasting beth’s outfits, bc honestly I’ve been called out for wearing mom jeans (they’re old navy jeans ok, shh) and I wear conservative ass shirts with little puff sleeves💀this is why I can’t get a man. 😪Yet Ms. Librarian over here has men throwing dick at her forehead. I cannotttt.😂😂😂

[timobeechalamet]

dune thoughts!! (it’s 1:30am and i’m in bed so this is by no means a review lmao)

lots of spoilers ahead

[pretend this is a cut im on mobile]

ok for starters for my first imax experience it wasn’t at all worth the 4€ extra lmao it was just too big and too loud

the beginning was a bit choppy i have to say. the voice over and then the first few scenes are a bit patched up to introduce as many characters in as little time possible. but this is like the first 5-10mins only and then it settles into a good pace which leads me to

this film. is. so. long. maybe i’m just rusty from not going to the cinema ? but i was surprised at how it kept going lmao in saying that i was never bored for a second, nor did i think ‘come on hurry up’ a single time. this might be the most impressive thing actually, it keeps you engaged the whole time

PRODUCTION DESIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COSTUME DESIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so haunting it stands as character/narrator of its own

A+ acting all across the board, actually impeccable. everyone is so good they make everyone seem average if that makes sense!!! the standard is so high and they all rise up to it

somehow it felt like timmy slipped into this role completely seamlessly, which is surprising considering it was his first time acting in a production this scale and given his background up to dune, it could’ve felt misplaced or heavy-handed (not that i was expecting it to) but it’s really just. he showed up one day as paul ? ik there was a learning curve w this role for him but that doesn’t show at all. natural. talented brilliant show stopping etc. basically i’m still in awe of his talent

desert mouse 🥺

never stops being funny to me how the main character is just a horny teen boy having horny dreams about a random girl and being like I Had A Vision

no ‘where are my feelings? i feel nothing’ quote. disappointed

timmy looks so young. this was shot in 2019 or am i wrong? his face has rly matured as of recently. he’s still baby in the film (probs exacerbated by makeup to make him look the characters age but still i was a little shocked at how different he looks vs now)

ok my FAVOURITE part was how futuristic sci-fi blends into medieval aesthetics into arabic visuals SO WELL. again, mostly production and costume design but it’s a marvel how the story feels set both in the past and in the future like it’s all happening at once, as well as also drawing from european, middle-eastern and african cultures and their clashes while having them complement each other

also love the portrayal of imperfect leaders. these sort of stories and film adaptations tend to adopt a black and white moral compass, ‘us vs them’, ‘good vs evil’ mentally. the villains are very clear, don’t get me wrong, and the baron is absolutely freaky, but the characters are allowed to be proudful and make mistakes regardless of where they stand. leto’s moral purity and trustfulness get him killed. yueh in spite being the catalyst for everything that ensues, is doing so to save his wife and also tries to minimise the damage of his actions. paul wants to be a fearless leader but when his mum tells him to run he runs. etc etc

this is hard to explain but i felt like i’d seen the film already? in the sense that the adaptation is incredibly faithful while still subtly cleaning up around the edges some stuff that would not translate to screen. i think this is where both the mastery lies and also where previous adaptations have failed. a too literal interpretation would make for a chaotic film that would be hard to understand and take seriously. they were able to pluck out those unintelligible bits of the book and either cut or translate them into something more digestible, while still sticking to the source material to the T. creative liberties were taken only where necessary. denis clearly know this story and this world by heart and had a very clear vision both of what it was like and how to best represent it on screen

overall!! really liked it and it lived up to the expectation. after so long waiting for it, it could’ve easily felt like the beat took long to drop and it’s disappointing, but absolutely not. i’m not an expert on sci-fi or this sort of big budget ‘action’ movies (aka marvel) by any means so i can’t say how it compares to other franchises/series out there but i know i liked it and am already plotting to see it again soon :) also timmy is beautiful but we already knew that xoxo off to sleep

[mewberii]

Streamer!Scaramouche AU

i feel like he’d be one of the biggest streamers on his platform- probably one of those that everyone has heard of even if they’re not into watching livestreams and all

but between those who do know who he is, they either love him or hate him. no in-between

it’s kind of understandable because his attitude is not suited/can be handled by anyone

he’s brutally honest even when his opinion may be seen as rude (to him he’s just saying the truth so he doesn’t mind if people get offended)

of course he doesn’t try to be rude on purpose but i mean it as in he’ll say what he thinks

imagine he’s playing a game and he doesn’t like a certain mechanic, or he isn’t enjoying the story;

he won’t say the game is bad but he’ll openly say he doesn’t like it/it’s not for him. it makes him seem strict but tbh he’s not that hard to please and even when he complains about one or two things he still enjoys the game

he usually gives every game a chance even when from what he’s seen it doesn’t sound like a game he’ll like. if he turns out to be right he just won’t play it again and if he’s wrong he’s a little too prideful to admit he spoke a little too fast but in the end he will admit the game is good or he’s having fun

probably the kind that just knows so much about all games and all the creators and all the game-making engines and is up to date with every single news of everything video-game + streaming-related,,, how does he do it, i don’t know,,,,

and also since he’s so popular he probably gets packages from game developers with limited edition stuff or merch from different games soooo often

and he placed the ones from his favorite games in his setup room and it looks INCREDIBLE he has so much stuff

he did a room tour stream once talking about all he has, where he got everything, from his monitor to every complement of his computer and like,,,,, the cost of his setup,,,,,,, some people already know they’ll never be able to afford that in their entire life

and he already had a great setup before he even became big as a streamer so people can already guess he’s fairly rich 

also i feel like he would have started his career as a streamer without using a facecam and even like that, he already managed to get very popular because of his professional commentary of game dynamics/playability + you can tell that he’s passionate about this and also he’s very funny without even trying??

he says some stuff so casually that he doesn’t realise how funny it is

probs showed his face after he hit a very important milestone

he never considered showing his face that important but he understood why people would want to see his reactions when playing games (even tho he warned them he’s not the most expressive/dramatique person in the world and they know by now) and would want to put a face to the person who entertains them so much with his streams

and when he does show his face people go absolutely cRAZY BECAUSE he is crazy good looking (if you don’t think he’s good looking i’m sorry for your eyesight. jk i’m sorry in general i just really love him)

some people who didn’t watch his streams will even check them out because of that but literally if you come for the visuals only you won’t stay for long because as i said not anyone can handle his personality

if he sees people being superficial about him too much instead of paying attention to what’s happening in the stream, he will immediately turn the subs mode on in the chat (if he didn’t have it on already)

being rude, being disrespectful/saying discriminating stuff or anything of that sort won’t be tolerated and anyone who does it will be banned instantly

without even interrupting what he was saying before he saw the comment, he’ll just type the ban to whoever said that and go on

and his mods do the exact same. they are just as strict as him

if it ever got too much of course he wouldn’t be afraid to speak up about it and tell his chat to stop that behaviour or else, as they should already know, he won’t be afraid of banning them even if they’ve been subscribed for months or years

ANYWAYS

why do i feel like he has a super organised chat— as in instead of spamming 5 emotes per comment they all send just one and it looks so tidy and perfect

literally other streamers would be jealous of how not-messy his chat is even when he has thousands and thousands and thousands of viewers all the time

also i have this idea that maybe any of his fans would have designed him as a genshin character (which would be the design of the scaramouche we know (?))

and the little pop-ups (i don’t know the name in english rIP) thingies that show up to notify when someone subscribed or donated would be lil chibi art of that design

it’d be really cool

and since i also doodled what a stream of his could look like (i’ll show it in the future when i’m done!!) i thought that way it’d be more recognisable that the streamer is scaramouche

99% of the people who have seen him irl found him too intimidating to go ask him for a picture or tell him anything

he’s not a huge fan of taking pictures anyway + is more on the introverted/reserved side but he wouldn’t mind if someone went up to him (if he’s not busy with something) to tell him something or say they enjoy his streams

i feel like in a couple occasions he would have played a game with some subscribers and he’d like to tease them speaking with his usual tone and face (in case they’re watching the stream as they talk) so they think he’s serious

“did you watch my 12 hour stream the other day?”  -scaramouche

“ah,,,, i-” -the sub

“think well of what you’re going to answer.” -scaramouche

“i-i couldn’t watch the whole thing,,,” -the sub

“ah, is that so…?” -scaramouche 

he’ll pretend to sound disappointed but at one point he just can’t help but smirk and hold in a chuckle before telling them he’s not serious

(he literally doesn’t know how the hell he survived that stream himself because he isn’t one to stream for that long)

i feel like deep inside people who know him would know he wouldn’t say such things seriously/wouldn’t be disappointed in anyone for not watching every single minute of his streams or not even all his streams

but he says all that so seriously that it’s,,, intimidating and they’re lowkey like “god but what if he’s not joking-”

he’d play games with the other streamers sometimes but i feel like most of the type he’d play more single-player games

it’d be so funny if he plays among us with others and for example one of those others it’s childe

both of them would always be suspecting of the other first/bickering, especially scaramouche

and if one game turns out they’re both the impostors… people would know right away

like, if any of them tried to defend the other, everyone else would be like “!?! what is this? scaramouche and childe defending each other? scary”

they’d vote one of them (maybe scaramouche) out because they started guessing + saying proof of how both of them could be the impostors (but the biggest proof is them not coming for each other’s throats sNKJFNGKJS)

scaramouche would have to resist the urge to S C R E A M

needless to say he doesn’t like when he has to be impostor with childe

and unfortunately for him, fate makes it happen considerably often

i feel like at least one time scaramouche would kill next to childe and then report it and literally blame childe

and childe would be like ?!?!?!?!?? WHAT- NO- (struggles bc his brain instinct is to say ‘it was you!’ but they’re both the impostors??? how-)

and then they’d eject childe,,, and then people wouldn’t suspect of scaramouche for most of the game because ? why would he- blame his partner---

well he did it with no regrets and at the end when they all found out they found it very funny (except for childe, but even he ended up laughing in the end because what a mean strategy sjkfhdsgkj)

i have this feeling that even though they bicker so much and for any strangers it’d seem like they hate each other, when scaramouche does play online games, many times it’d be with childe?

ik they aren’t supposed to get along but for the sake of it being a modern au i don’t want bad vibes between any of the characters pls-

and everyone enjoys their dynamic and those streams always get a ton of viewers sjfhdsgkj and i’m sure both their chats would be good friends (most likely one’s fans would also be a fan of the other too)

very very very rarely (because he prefers just playing and talking while playing) he’d do streams where he doesn’t play anything but just talks with the chat, watches videos that they send him, looks at the fanart they make, just talks about games,,,,

it’d be super chill and the perfect streams for people to be doing homework/work/play games/draw or do basically anything while they listen to his stream in the background

he’d also be answering some of people’s questions about him or about his favorite games, or if he’s playing this new game that came out earlier this week,,,

“will you play ‘it takes two’ with childe?” -someone in the chat

“absolutely not. i won’t play a co-op game with him”

not even 5 days later, tweet from childe saying “streaming in 30 minutes! Scaramouche and I will be playing It Takes Two on my ch---”

anyways this will be all!! (for now?) i obviously knew genshin before this but, yesterday i could finally start playing it myself! so i feel like if not now, soon i will also write headcanons of him playing genshin! i don’t take requests but if you guys have any ideas or anything you want to say about this AU, send me an ask!! i’d love to talk about this and about genshin in general!

also, i was very inspired to write this by @baeshijima​ ! so thank you very much to her for her wonderful streamer AUs and if anyone reading this hasn’t read hers already, go check them out!! they’re amazing!!

[hinatas-sunshine]

Synopsis: How you met them at a young age and how things are in high school with them

Genre: Fluff

A/N: I’m sorry for all my Kuroo content sheinckwnf but thank you guys for all the love recently & my requests are open! I hope you guys are doing good I love y’all KITHES ❤️

Extra A/N: SURPRISE!!! I just hit 50 followers so this is my third post for today as a thank you for all the love 🥺 (Ik it’s not a lot but it’s still a milestone)

Oikawa:

• You two met when you were in the same class in middle school

• He was so happy when you sat next to him in class so he introduced himself

• You introduced yourself back and from then on would do your work together, eat lunch together, and tell each other funny stories

“Oikawa how do you get your hand stuck in a candy jar?”

“It was traumatizing we don’t talk about it y/n!”

• You, him and Iwaizumi would hang out at after their volleyball practice

• You often scolded him for being rude to Kageyama - he wouldn’t ever stop sadly and you had to hit a volleyball to his head

• You picked up some volleyball skills while spending so much time with him and he would make you do extra practice with him

“Oikawa I wanna go home!”

“Five more minutes!”

• It was never just five more minutes

• Anytime you hung out with Kageyama and helped him practice his serves Oikawa wouldn’t talk to you for a few hours

• Until he realized you weren’t going to bother to apologize and he said sorry for over reacting

• He did have a crush on you and you had one back but you always ignored it for the sake of your friendship

• High School rolled around and your friendship remained the same, but his popularity grew along with your feelings after many summers together

• Of course he liked you back but he never caught on much to your dismay and would constantly be a play boy

Iwa: Another crying girl shittykawa?

Y/n: you’re a pig, Oinkawa

Oikawa: Y/N? IWA? 😔

• You forced him to apologize to the girls he’s hurt in the last, and one went as far as slapping him

“You deserved that oinkawa.”

“Y/n-Chan I did not 🥺.”

• You still pressed a cold water bottle to his cheek and laughed

• He complained about it not being funny and kept being dramatic about the whole thing

• He shut up when you gave him a kiss on his his red cheek

“Oh? What has you so quiet now?”

• You began to regret your words as you noticed a smirk starting to grow on his face

“Y/n-Chan, my lips hurt too.”

• You scowled at him and shoved the water bottle at his puckered lips

“S-shut up shittykawa!”

“What has Iwa-Chan done to you?”

• you slowly took the water bottle back and closed your eyes and kissed him holding his face in your hands

• His shock was obvious but nevertheless he pulled you closer and kissed you back

• Your attempt to pull away didn’t work, he had waited for this moment for so long you weren’t going away so easily

• After you laughed and punched his chest he pulled away

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.”

“Then why didn’t you do it sooner loserkawa?”

• Needless to say, he dropped the whole playboy act but it didn’t mean his fan girls went away

• Iwa spiking a ball at the back of Oikawa’s head if he talks to them too long

“I love y/n i was just being nice!”

Kuroo:

• You were Kenna’s gaming buddy and when Kuroo met you he thought you were so pretty

• didn’t mean he wasn’t a lil shit tho

“You can’t play with us today! Kenma is helping me with volleyball!”

“Oh...I can help too?”

• Kuroo was so excited to have another player and while you guys played volleyball a lot you still got them to play other games

• Kuroo liked to pretend you were a princess and save you all the time 🥺

• But you’d ruin his ideas by saving yourself because you had an independent woman mindset

• Please his poor little kid heart couldn’t handle it

• When you guys grew up you decided to not play Volleyball but rather be their manager!

• Coach allowed you to play with them when they needed an extra player and you and Kuroo always went head to head

“Y/n won’t be able to do anything without me as middle blocker!”

“I have Kenma as my setter lick my foot Kuroo!”

• Yaku and you were the unstoppable moms of the team

• Lev had tried to hit in you resulting in a Kick from Kuroo AND Yaku

“Captain Kuroo more like LOSER Kuroo!”

“Y/n I’ll fire you as manager.”

“Coach likes me too much to let me go!”

• Everytime you two bickered Kenma always got you two to be quiet by mentioning something about you two’s feelings or saying “if you wanna kiss then kiss already”

• One particular day you were walking to practice earlier to sort through some stuff for Coach and were stopped by a few boys who were skipping class and roaming the hallways

“I’m sorry I have to get to the gym.”

“You would have so much more fun hanging out with us though, no?”

“No, I’d rather not.”

• Kuroo having seen this while heading back from the bathroom came to your rescue

“I think you guys should go.”

• Kuroo’s towering figure was enough to make the boys scramble off

“Thanks for that rooster head.”

“Of course, now little me got to fulfill his dream of saving a princess.”

• Your face turned a bright red before he realized what he said

“I mean- uh- well it’s like- hmph I just-“

• You cut him off and kissed his cheek making his face even more red as he rubbed the back of his head

• He went back to class blushing and practice was a whole different thing because Kuroo got shy around you CDHWINFOW

• Kenma already knew because you spilled the beans to him hehe

“Kuroo if you don’t stop simping you’ll creep y/n out and she won’t like you anymore.”

“She won’t wHAT?”

Tsukishima:

• You met him and Yamaguchi when he helped you get back at the kid who kicked your sand castle

• Since then you two have been connected by the hip and everyone knew that

• You two would walk home together hand in hand, he would tease you about your height, he would also hold you back from throwing hands

• You were a rowdy kid honestly and he was the calm one, maybe that’s why you two were so close since opposites attract

• With both of your aggressive natures you two often argued and that lead to Yamaguchi having to help you two make up

“I don’t wanna make up with four eyes.”

“I don’t wanna make up with a little boy.”

• You two really were a handful for the shy boy

“Yamaguchi wouldn’t wanna go with a meanie like you Tsukishima!”

“I’m nicer to him than you are!”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Guys 🥺”

• You two would forget about it later in or would apologize by buying each other a snack

• When you guys went to high school and they tried out for the volleyball team no one really knew about you

• Until you showed up at a game cheering like a psycho for Tsukishima and Yamaguchi

“YOU GOT THIS TSUKKI!”

“YAMS BABY SERVE THAT BALL WITH YOUR WHOLE CHEST!”

“TSUKKI PLAY LIKE YOU CARE!”

• He sent you a glare for that last one and you looked off acting like you didn’t just say that

• His team teased him for your cheering and he just brushed it off saying you were just his friend

• After his first game you walked up to him only for him to put a towel over you head and dragging you away talking about how embarrassing you are

“You love me Tsukki.”

“....You wish y/n.”

• He was glad the towel over your head didn’t allow you to see him because he was blushing hahcjwijfie

• You took the towel off and kissed his cheek

“You played well and I know you have more potential.”

• He kept his normal grumpy face

“You grimlin do you not smile?!”

• He laughed lightly making you smile and hook arms with him making him walk with you as you talked about the game

• The team was minding their own business but Yamaguchi didn’t go without noticing his best friends small smile

“UHHHH?! IS TSUKISHIMA SMILING!”

• everyones heads snapped from Tanaka’s pointing finger and looked at Tsukki’s red face

• Suga scolded Tanka and yelled at him for pointing

• Tsukki then walked home with you after the game but not before he stopped you

“Thanks. For coming today.”

• You raised your eyebrow at him, smiling

“I wouldn’t have missed your first high school game”

• He rubbed the back of his head looking off hoping you wouldn’t see his deep red cheeks for the hundredth time today wondering, what was wrong with him today?

• You made him look at you before standing on your tippy does and planting a kiss on his lips

• Good job y/n you broke him 😾 you noticed his frozen form and waved a hand in front of his face and then giggled walking into your house before he quickly began heading home

Tags:

[1tad0ri]

Heyo! Happy new year! If you had the chance to even try to tie up sukuna would you? And if you do manage to so that what happens after?

warning: nsfw

hi!!! happy new year bb 🥂💘 and whew... would i? YES because i would probably tired of his attitude 🙄 LMAO now... it depends on my chance of success. would i try? well i would think about, try to come up with a plan, but you know what? ik myself and even if it seemed pretty risky i’d still try it because i’m impulsive like that 😭

afterwards? omg he’d probably be so mad and normally i’d be scared because this is SUKUNA 😭 but... he can’t really do anything let’s pretend he isn’t insanely strong and instead can’t easily break out so i would just think it’s funny <3

it would be cute listening to him complaining but i’d probably get tired of it eventually like he’s so BRATTY ugh 😒 idk i’d probably suggest gagging him. he’s still LOUD tho so you’ll still hear whatever little whimpers or groans he lets get out so you aren’t really missing much

probably when you actually getting around to sinking down on his cock (after torturing him and teasing him because usually he’s the one who does it to you so it’s time for a little payback. i personally think giving him a blowjob and edging him would be funny but i digress) i’d say take off the gag because he might be a little more willing to be a good boy by that point and praise you like you deserve and also so you can kiss him while you ride him because yum

overall i’d think it would be fun to be the one in control when it comes to someone like him but he WILL test your patience and i think taking your time and drawing everything out will get him antsy and eventually he’ll be a little more lenient with letting you get away with certain things. he’s always going to have that dumb smirk on his face though, even if he’s calling you hot and beautiful and sexy and worshipping you while you’re in charge so the brattiness is still... there a little. but this is sukuna we’re talking about, he’s always going to be annoying like that 😞 oh well, you win some, you lose some i count this as a win

[washymylifeaway]

hi! do you have any favourite fantasy/mythology esque sakuatsu fics?

Haikyuu SakuAtsu fanfic recs: Fantasy Edition!!!!

To the anon who requested this, you are an ABSOLUTE GOD. I don’t know if you know, but fantasy AND mythology are some of my FAVORITE genres of ALL TIME. STILL, I saw the esque and I ran with it (cause there isn’t a lot of like pure fantasy or mythological journey fics ie. my poor excuse OOPS LOL and I wasn’t too sure what would be okay on this list AHAHA), so if it’s not the right kind of fics you were looking for, I’M SO SORRY :((((((( May this rec list be up to your expectations!!!!!! (And if it isn’t, feel free to re-request :’))))),,,, ALSO, ignore me switching between Sakusa and Omi LOL.)

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

if you make me feel in love / if you make me open up by volchitsae (E) 6.4k // this is a reincarnation AU, and it has a major folklore/japanese-ish mythology (gods) element to it. This honestly MIGHT be my favorite from this list cause it’s just done SO well and I LOVE the reunion after the TRAGEDY :’)))) I’m trying to be vague cause I REALLY don’t want to spoil this fic at ALL, so PLEASE read it heh.

my love, take your time by bastigod (T) 9k // this is another reincarnation AU, but this time it’s with greek-ish mythology :’D However, the fantasy part of it is kinda on the back burner (ahaha oops LOL). It becomes more apparent near the end of the fic, but the build up to it is worth reading, which is why it’s here LOL. I love how they added Sakusa’s own memories concerning certain things, and how he collected pieces of them in the museum! The writing is so good, but also, I’m a sucker for Omi making lists relating to Atsumu hehe.

your flame will not survive in this cold tundra by awkwardedgeworth (T) 26.5k // this is an AtLA AU, but even if you don’t know the show, you’ll still enjoy it! I absolutely love this fic and the plot is really AMAZING and asihfkjahsdkfjak their DEVELOPMENT. Especially with the separation of POV’s in both chapters (and what we get to see which we didn’t previously) UGH,,,, it was so GOOD. (Their other AtLA AU fics are really good too, so don’t be shy, go read them as well LOL.)

one life, one encounter by bastigod (G) 5.7k // this is a japanese-ish mythology AU, with our first appearance of foxsumu. We do stan Kita-san and Sakusa being friends with one another in this house :D This fic was really cute and Sakusa is so baby in this (but in a GOOD WAY), and when he talks to Atsumu at first,,, HE SOUNDED SO LONELY LIKE I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND :((((((

give me a moment so devoted by volchitsae (T) 4.5k // immortals! YES! I really really like this one and I think that their relationship in it was SO cute. I am really into the idea of Atsumu being insufferable throughout Omi’s lifetime and them having INSIDE JOKES AHHHHH. It’s really light and fluffy so if you just want some love in your life, this is the read :)

show you my best disguise by volchitsae (T) 5.1k // this one has NICE Sakusa in it (which I think should be more common fight me) and their relationship with one another is actually good from the beginning :D I love how naturally it progressed and how we get to see the habits slowly build as they spend time with one another. Very good fic, but not lots of magic until the end LOL. (There’s also a lot of poetry LOL.)

both our hands speak for us and complicate it by volchitsae (M) 8.6k // MAGIC/superpowers :D FIRST, the puns are such a nice touch to this fic and SECOND we do love the yachi/yama agenda being pushed here. I really like the conditions Sakusa’s powers have, and how that added to the plot (and the ending for that matter, may there be a universe where they can touch LOL). Honestly, the magic is also kinda back burner for this one and it focuses more on relationship dev. but it’s still a fun read so I added it LOL.

Rain and Its Incendiary Properties by firtree (M) 24.5k // so we get some Sakusa turning into vampire backstory in this one, and the revelation of more mythical beings LOL. Bless Komori and tbh Suna for being some MVP’s in this fic, we do love the familial bonds :)))) But also, the knowledge at the end does give some second hand embarrassment so brace yourself LOL.

two slow dancers by orphan_account (T) 1.2k // AHHHHHH BLOND SAKUSA! Also, yes another vampire fic. What? Sue me. This is just a load of fluff and sap from Atsumu, and warning: there ARE twilight references in this one ahahahaha. (If you thought that with this many vampire fics on the list, you would be safe from twilight, you obviously thought wrong.)

crimson colored lotus by sieges (M) 16.5k // this was a demon slayer AU LOL. TBH I haven’t watched DS, but you honestly don’t really need to in order to read this LOL. It’s explained really well and the writing is AMAZING! It’s not a linear fic, but you can read it in order if you so choose. I know it’s a stretch for this list, but it’s just that good, okay? LOL.

how can I not be moved (by you) by Ann1215 (T) 26.4k // this has warlock Atsumu (with an actual REASON for his blond-ness that isn’t Osamu) and halfling Sakusa, who is eventually a sap LOL. I really love fics with familiars and animals so this fic was one that I really liked hehe. The ending? Embarrassing but we do love the love LOL. Also the second part with Atsumu’s POV, FLUFF like, yes please give me all the love :DDDDD

enchanted to meet ya by zantetsvkens (T) 4.8k // FAST BURN but it makes sense. I agree with the a/n at the end for the confession, so there’s that LOL. I liked this one because the tactful provoking was SO good and funny for that matter HAH. But Sakusa WOULD be more concerned with the window costs than Atsumu’s wellbeing (it had to have been said).

when morning comes we'll be safe by bestcarrot (T) 2.7k // another demon slayer AU even though I’ve never read or watched ds? Yes. Again, sue me. I know it’s teeeeeeechnically a stretch BUT fox demon Atsumu...... (Also it’s written so well I felt like I needed to add it okay? :’)))))) AND yes, I WAS holding onto the no character death (YOU SHOULD TOO), the close ending was scary.

a boy is a thing with fangs by unthank (T) 3.5k // foxsumu! ngl I’ll just be straight up honest with you all, I added this for the response Sakusa has to Atsumu when they’re watching SunaOsa play shogi in the next fic LOL. I thought it was so funny and perfect for that moment please. Just,,,, forgive me once AHAHAH.

Falling For You (Literally) by Anubis_2701 (T) 6.5k // clumsy Atsumu makes me feel some type of way LOL. This is another NICE, soft Sakusa fic (like i said we need more: me pretending like I don’t see the tag for it LOL) and it’s just really cute. There’s some medical tings that occur (cause Omi is literally a magical medic LOL), but it’s just very FLUFF hehe.

The curse of a blessing by basinnit (E) 7.8k // CHECKING WARNINGS AND TAGS!!!!!!! I felt like I knew what was going to happen, but DENIAL IS NICE OKAY. Honestly, it seems short with it’s 7.8k word count, but with the number of mental breaks you’re gonna need,,,, it’ll seem long. Also, yes Atsumu punching people (one person in particular) because I would’ve too and I love that person >:((((( It looks scary and confusing with the tags, but I’d read it anyway LOL. (If you’re wondering, the magic is that Suna and Sakusa are warlocks LOL.)

The Fox Prince by cinnamonlove (T) 13.1k // okay there are some INSULTS thrown (and lots of cursing LOL) and so TW: LOTTA CURSE WORDS. Aside from that, we see once again MVP Komori making an appearance, but also vulnerable SakuAtsu near the end :0 It’s definitely an interesting fic, so that’s why it’s here LOL. (Also it’s like fake foxsumu but not really,,,, you’ll understand.)

the echoing halls by ohwickedsoul (T) 11.7k // GAH THIS ONE WAS SO GOOD. To read it though, some background knowledge (or google LOL) is needed cause the mythology references are very strong in this one. But I love when Sakusa was so desperate (honor’d light AUAHFKJDHFKJS) and Atsumu was aboutta (basically) punch him LOL. V GOOD V CUTE IN LOVE? I AM.

Did I just take this ask as an excuse to read a crap ton of fantasy/mythology AUs instead of doing any of my other work? Yes, yes I did. Also, I know it’s kinda short (LOL NOT ME SAYING THIS but I did NOT (surprising IK) put some of the fics I liked D:), but I tried to REALLY narrow it down a bit hehe. I hope I didn’t miss too many good ones, and I’m sorry for not really staying on ‘topic’ LOL. I realized while re-reading these that a lot of them are just Atsumu like meeting Sakusa by chance and being like dang, he’s hot. Gotta bother him forever ig? Thank you for the ask, it was really fun and I hope you liked the fics hehe :)

[hajimine]

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

[enbyprentiss]

Flustered

Genre: Smut (kinda?? definitely NSFW)

‘~~~~’= switched perspectives (Spencer’s is first, then Y/N, Emily, and then back to Spencer. ik that can be a lil confusing, so just clearing that up lol.)

1k words -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I always get nervous around Y/N. I try to hide it, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job. Even if she wasn't a profiler, she would definitely be able to tell that I have some sort of feelings for her. What those were, I wasn't really sure yet. She was no doubt one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen, and she's smart and funny and--I don't know! It's not like we aren't friends and sometimes I feel like she's flirting with me. But then again, social cues aren't really a strong suit of mine. What if I'm just reading into it because that's what I want? I was sitting in my hotel room driving myself in a desperate loop to sort out this feeling that I was having.

Unfortunately, it seemed as though Y/N had other plans. And said plans were definitely not helping my situation. I knew that her room was right next to mine and I hadn't thought much of it. So, when I heard a buzzing noise I figured it could've just been the air conditioning or something. That was until I heard muffled whimpers coming from the other side of the wall.

Eventually, those whimpers became louder and turned into moans. I tried my hardest not to listen, just pretend it wasn't happening but my body decided to work against me. I couldn't stop the growing tightness in my slacks. Something about this felt wrong--perverted, almost like I was invading her privacy. But what happened next I was not expecting.

"Mmmm! Fuck, Spencer!"

This can't be real. This isn't happening. I must be having some sick wet dream. There's no way that she had just said my name. No way. My brain must have short-circuited for a second but I snapped out of it when it happened again.

"Oh God, yes! Please make me cum, Spence! Fuck, you feel so good!"

If you told me that Y/N was trying to make my heart stop at this moment, I would absolutely believe you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I always knew Reid had a bit of a thing for me. He wasn't exactly the most subtle. I could feel the lingering looks from across the room, or when he would talk to me he would stutter a little bit more than usual, his eyes would sometimes flick up and down unintentionally. But I didn't mind. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the same.

This case had been fairly stressful so I decided to unwind a little. Sadly, I didn't have a partner at the moment and even if I had it wouldn't really apply here, so I settled for the next best thing. Did I usually carry a vibrator in my go-bag? Sometimes. Obviously, if we were sharing rooms I wouldn't use it. And if someone found it I would probably be a little embarrassed, sure. But we're all adults. Sex and masturbation are completely normal. What probably isn't normal is moaning your coworker's name whose room is just on the other side of the wall.

At first, I hadn't even realized I'd done it. I must've gotten too caught up in the fantasy. I couldn't help thinking about all those things that genius could do. Not to mention he has probably some of the biggest hands I've ever seen. Don't even get me started on what those curls would feel like in my hands, or how his plush pink lips would feel against my skin. Ugh, every time he licked or bit down on his lip, it drove me absolutely insane. Is it wrong to think all this stuff about him? Did he think similar things about me?

I knew there was a large possibility that he had heard me. But was that really such a bad thing? Even if I could've stopped the moans that were tumbling from my lips, I don't think I would've. He could definitely hear me by the time that I finished and in my haze, I got ready for bed and didn't think about what had just happened anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My room was right next to Y/N's. And hers was in between mine and Reid's. I knew that they both had feelings for each other. She had even confessed it to me a few months ago.

"Emily, can I tell you something?"

"Yeah, of course."

"I--um--I really like Spencer and I'm kinda freaking out."

"Oh, honey, everyone already knows."

"Damn it. Even him?"

"God, no. Poor thing is so clueless."

I was laying in my bed, desperately trying to stop my string of thoughts so that I could fall asleep. That didn't work. I heard moaning from Y/N's room. And honestly, this wasn't new. She wasn't exactly the quiet type. It was awkward, but I didn't want to bring it up and embarrass her. Not to mention, I would definitely be lying if I said I didn't see what Reid saw in her.

What was new this time, was Spencer's name tumbling from her lips. That is something I wish I could erase from my mind. I didn't want to know what could possibly be happening in there. Based on the buzzing noise I assumed it was just her in there. But, you never know. Oh, god--make it stop. I don't want to think about it. Stop thinking about it.

Y/N was so lucky that it was just me on this side of the wall and not Hotch, or worse Morgan, who would never let her--or Spencer ever live this down. My thoughts were stopped as Y/N moaned his name again, this time accompanied by way filthier words. Good God, I really hoped what I thought could be happening was not happening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning when we were waiting outside the hotel, Emily, Y/N, and I all shared knowing glances. We all just kind of awkwardly stood there with JJ in silence until Morgan walked over.

"What's up with you guys?", he taunted.

"What do you mean?", Emily tried to be nonchalant.

"So, we're just not gonna talk about the fact that we all definitely heard Y/N scream Reid's name?", he broke out in laughter.

Y/N pushed her lips together in the same way I usually did, a slight blush spreading to her cheeks for a second. JJ's jaw dropped, apparently she had no idea what had happened.

Y/N's embarrassment was short lived and she simply breezed past Derek, flipping him off, "I regret nothing.", going to open the drivers side door of one of the SUV's. You had to give her credit, if there was one thing that girl was, it was bold.

"At least you can finally get some, kid."

"And you don't have to worry about whether she likes you or not Spence."

"Are you guys coming or not?!", Y/N was sitting sideways in the drivers seat with the door still open.

"You want Reid to sit shotgun?", Emily teased her.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh my god, I don't give a shit which one you sit in the front just get in the fucking car. I'm tryna go home, damn."

[pacifymebby]

I always lean towards messaging you when I have a catb thought Ik you aren’t my therapist but you seem to write and reblog things that I relate to and I feel like we’re very similar people anyway I’m so sad about how much and how fast everything has changed like afew years ago their music was my escape from reality and I could just pretend I lived this life that Was frankly mainly just romanticised and idk the fact that everything’s changing is really fucking with my head and I just want good old van back uno? Like I miss seeing their stupid little shit like Larry tied up on their Instagram it’s like now we don’t even have those little things that tell us that they’re atleast okay? I feel like I’m losing it abit after reading it had me so fucking emotional trying to analyse everything and figure out how they’re all doing and I know it’s my own fault for putting all this emotional trauma into their music and I’ve just lost it I’m genuinely nuts without putting all my shit into the next time I’ll go and see them Idk I had the best time at Leeds but it scared me so much to think that that was the last time I’d get to feel that feeling

Hi anon, you can message me whenever you want to about anything my love!!!

I think i know what you mean with this one because I've really leant on this band throughout my darkest times and I really have used them as an escapism thing. When I broke up with on of my abusive exes I was writing Oxygen and I used to use that as an escape from my life and live vicariously through my characters. I think catfish, especially when they first started, were such happy go lucky lads and their social media presence was just funny, it made me laugh and picked me up and gave me something to smile at that was just daft.

I used to listen to the balcony when I was feeling low because it always raised my spirits. I remember being so excited when the ride came out and then being secretly excited for the balance. I remember longshot would play on the radio at work when I was super stressed and I would turn the radio up and sing along and it would just make me feel that little bit lighter. Light enough to get through the rest of the shift.

And I understand what you're saying when you say that it's scary thinking that Leeds might be your last time ever feeling that way but believe me it won't be.

I still personally don't think they will split up, but I know that if they do, you will still get that joy and that release and that comfort from their songs and the old videos and everything. I remember being devestated when my chemical romance split up, thinking that it would ruin everything for me, but it didn't and years later I still fall back on thst band when I'm in a bad place.

It'll be the same with catfish. Its a shame how they don't communicate so much anymore but I think, we have the old videos and the old interviews and we still have Bondy when he resurfaces from time to time.

I think that although things feel very strange and sad now and like stuff might be coming to an end I think it's more likely that it's the end of an era rather than the end of everything u know?

Maybe they will leave those three albums like a trilogy and the stuff they make next will be different, or maybe they just need a break and some rest, or maybe they want to keep making music but they don't want the responsibility of fame (the killers are a good example of this I think, like they gig they release albums but shit u see nothing from them in terms of casual content) and idk, I think what am trying to say anon is don't lose all hope and don't panic.

You'll always have the albums and the interviews, the video diaries and all the dumb shit on their instas. And I think, they'll keep going in one way or another, I just think this is what happens to most bands who hit their 30s,they just calm down and grow up don't they. They're not teenagers anymore and maybe they don't feel as sociable and as lary and as much like they want to be in the limelight anymore.

Even oasis mellowed didn't they.

Idk anyway I feel am just ranting now but message me again whenever you like love. I'm glad you had such a good time seeing catfish, I hope u get to treasure that memory forever x

[bi-naesala]

Clearing his head

After being recruited (forced) back to Ike's side, Shinon takes some time alone to think. (Also on AO3)

Sometimes, Shinon hates his mind.

Maybe that’s not true, but he sure hates the direction his thoughts take when he gets into these kinds of moods.

No matter how hard he tries not to, he seems to be stuck in the past, unable to move on. He can’t help but to think of how things would be different if Greil were still alive.

He’s willing to bet his next pay that things would be better with him still in command, because he would actually know what he’s doing, instead of just being lucky.

He wasn’t like any person Shinon had ever met. A great warrior and chief, pragmatic, but also a genuinely good person; even though Shinon never liked the idea of working for free or for a diminished pay, he was still able to respect his decision to put helping others before his own needs, something that he would never be able to do. It’s also true that, despite this policy, they never suffered hunger, because Greil always made sure to provide for their needs, even with the kids in tow.

He was respected and beloved by everyone, and as for Shinon, well… he truly loved Greil.

How could he not? He was perfect, and now he’s been taken away from him. Well, he was never his to begin with, but at least he was allowed to admire him from afar, even dream about how things could’ve been different when he felt particularly weak, but now he won’t be able to do that anymore.

It’s all that little twerp’s fault.

Shinon takes another gulp of liquor, savoring its bitter taste. And to think that he’s back with these people again…

He’s a pragmatist, so he’s not foolish enough to believe there were any other options that would’ve ended with him alive, but in all honesty he wouldn’t have minded if the kid had had enough courage to actually strike him down. At least he would’ve demonstrated to be able to make hard choices.

Ah, but who cares, right? ‘Cause in the end, it always works out well for him, lucky bastard.

He even had the courage to come bother him while he was sulking on his own. He has such a nerve…

At least he’s had enough sense to leave him alone shortly after that. After all, they both don’t like each other, so why stick around? It would be counterproductive.

Shinon sighs, raising the bottle in his hand to take another sip of liquor… only to find it empty, damn it! He throws the bottle away in frustration, but he winches at noise it makes when it shatters against the rocks. So loud…

He could get up and get something, but he doesn’t feel like moving, not when he’s found the perfect place to spend some time alone - just outside the camp. If he goes back, he’ll be forced to interact with people, which he doesn’t want to.

Not that there aren’t some familiar faces that he could stomach talking to for a while, but at the moment he wants to be completely alone.

Besides, it’s not like Gatrie won’t come looking for him shortly, because he’ll surely be in need of something, and when he needs something he always goes to find him

Yes, of course Gatrie’s here too. It seems that no matter where Shinon goes, he’s cursed to having to endure his presence. Nevermind how much it hurt when he left… No, it didn’t hurt. If the fool wanted to run after the first woman he found, then Shinon wasn’t going to stop him. Served him right when he was going to get rejected. If anything, Shinon felt annoyed because he had gotten used to the commodity of having another person that could help around, but it was something he got over quickly.

So no, it didn’t hurt. He’s never felt so alone in his life, but it didn’t hurt. Shinon doesn’t hurt. Full stop.

Life has thrown too many curved balls at him for him to hurt anymore. He’s learned since a young age that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the worse thing he could ever do. Nothing can hurt him anymore.

It’s all bullshit.

Losing Greil hurt him, splitting up from Gatrie hurt. Hell, even returning to this army hurt.

Still, Shinon will not succumb to it. As always, he will ignore it.

… He really needs a drink.

Another person he doesn’t mind being close to is Titania. Well, not exactly close, because he doesn’t want to be close to anybody, but he respects her.

The two of them always had a silent agreement: it was obvious to both that they had the same feelings for the same, unreachable person. If, on one hand, that didn’t change anything, on the other, it brought them together in a way they never thought it would; how many sleepless nights have they spent in each other’s silent company, drinking away their thoughts - Titania with moderation while Shinon, well… not quite - that, even though they never voiced them, were obvious to the other?

“Don’t you hate it?” Shinon asked once, “Because I do.” Indeed he hated this helpless sensation he was feeling all the time.

He expected Titania to disagree with him, because there was almost nothing they really agreed upon, but he was still surprised by her reply. “No,” she said in fact. “I’d rather feel this than nothing at all.”

This was something that Shinon couldn’t understand: he never liked to be reminded of his weaknesses, having them exposed in such a raw manner that they seemed to be carved out of him while he was left bleeding on the ground, and yet he couldn’t change it, no matter how hard he tried. It left him aching and exposed, and everybody smart enough to know how the world works could guess that it wasn’t an ideal situation, but here Titania was, saying those words to him.

I’d rather feel this than nothing at all.

Is she dumb? Why should she want to live like this, hurting?

Shinon couldn’t understand.

“Hey.”

Shinon doesn’t even move his gaze from where he’s staring - just an indefinite space in the void - because he recognizes who that voice belongs to.

Without even saying anything himself, he nods at her, and Titania takes it as a permission to sit by him, not that she wouldn’t have done it either way…

They both remain silent.

Funny, in a way this isn’t that different from how things used to be. If Shinon pretends hard enough, he could even believe that this has been just a bad dream, that here they are moping for the umpteenth time about how impossible it is that their love for Greil will ever be reciprocated but not because he’s dead, but simply because it’s obvious that his heart still belongs to Elena.

Yes, he could certainly do that…

“I’m glad you’re back with us.”

Shinon’s neck almost snaps for how fast he turns towards Titania, uncertain on whether she’s actually broken the silence, or if he imagined it. Did she really say that?

Knowing her, yes, she must’ve said that. She has a tendency to get sentimental when she lets her guard down, something that never fails to annoy Shinon… And yet, this time, he doesn’t know how to take it.

He doesn’t have any energy in him to be mad, or to say something rude, so he just shrugs. “Thanks,” he says, voice neutral.

He hasn’t exactly told her off, but it’s not even an invitation to continue, and in fact Titania doesn’t add anything for a long time.

She waits until the sky gets darker before speaking again.

“We should get back,” she says, voice gentle but firm, not wanting to get on Shinon’s nerves, but also not giving any room to object. She gets up, without waiting for Shinon’s answer, and then she stretches a hand towards him.

Does hewant to get back? Not really, but what choice does he have? He’s part of this army, after all, so he can’t decide to do things on his own, despite how much he’d want to.

Besides, it’s just him or it’s getting colder by the second? With that in mind, going back to camp might be the wise choice after all, and he’s not saying that because maybe, and just maybe, he’s missed the people he had left. It’s not true, of course, but if it were - which again, it isn’t - it would be very deep down, deeper than the deepest thought, very very deep down, so deep that nobody would be able to see it.

He looks at the hand offered towards him, then at Titania, then back at the hand.

A huff escapes his lips and he lightly shakes his head, and yet, he accepts the hand.

[hansoulo]

ain’t it a gentle sound (the rolling in the graves) - pt. 5

Pairing: Horacio Carrillo/f!Reader

Warnings: grief, heavy angst, mentions of Hard Emotions and Past Events. it’s not super specific and it’s in the context of healing/working through those things but ik reading that can be hard so pls take care!! also talks about hospitals? no gore or anything but :P reader and horacio have a mini therapy sesh and then make out for a bit >:)

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: it’s taken almost a month but here u go 💀

masterlist  playlist  moodboard  gif by @el-cheung​

You’d been given time off from your shifts at the hospital, courtesy of the whole “kidnapped and experienced blunt trauma to the head” thing, but you were due back soon and knew you couldn’t keep dragging your feet. As much as you wanted to dig your heels in the sand, to bury your head in it until everything was muffled and coarse and static, you couldn’t. Not forever. You had a job and responsibilities and friends and a fucking life to get back to but everything still felt splintered and raw, pieces that were just starting to come together breaking apart again and leaving you, sitting on the cold tile of your bathroom floor heaving gulps of air like a drowning man and feeling just as desperate.

Everything had been too much, too slow and too fast at the same time and you just needed… space. To think. To try and not feel so fucking guilty and rotted from the inside. It had been eating at you, gnawing aimlessly for so long you hardly even noticed it before pushing it back down but now, now it was tearing you apart limb from limb with slow-snapping teeth, screaming everything and everyone you’d been trying to forget since this whole shitshow started. You used to be normal.

You used to make grocery lists and get called pet names and go to dinner parties. You used to gossip with the other military wives, sip wine with a warm hand on your knee and a chest against your back. You used to have so many things. Then… then you didn’t. And you were just starting to be okay with that because you could at least pretend you had him. For a moment, you did. You had him and he had you for a brief, sparking moment that felt like fire and tasted like blood but was the best thing you’d ever known.

Now you didn’t have anything. And it was your own damn fault.

You could hear Dr. Reyes’ voice in your head now, chiding you with a shake of her graying head. It’s not your fault, she’d say to you as you sat on the crinkly fake leather of her office couch, wringing a tissue in your hands until it chafed your palms. She’d called a few times since you’d come back - back, not home, because it wasn’t really home - concerned as to why you hadn’t been making it to your weekly sessions. Her voice was warm, familiar and grounding and a little pitying but you didn’t really mind. It was kind of in a therapist’s job description to pity. Maybe that wasn’t the right word but you appreciated the concern all the same, assuring her that no, you were alright and just not feeling very well. The last part wasn’t even a lie, because the ache knotting something awful in your head had yet to subside.

Horacio had taken you to the hospital after he got you out of the safe house, sitting in the waiting room and dwarfing the little plastic folding chair. He was still wearing his tactical vest, the gun holster digging into your hip as you leaned on him. You could barely string two sentences together with the bright fluorescent lights glaring in your eyes, so you’d screwed them shut and pressed your forehead into his chest, listening as he explained what happened to the receptionist.

You remembered her asking if you were married, feeling the shake of his head as his chin dipped slightly against your hair. Are you in a relationship? Another shake, Horacio’s arms sliding down to help prop you up on your feet. You didn’t really expect him to answer differently. It still stung a little bit, though. 

An hour later and you’d walked out with a mild concussion diagnosis and a prescription for some painkillers, pressing the heel of your hand to your temple as Horacio led you back to the Jeep. You tried not to think about the bullet holes in the passenger side door and how tightly his hands gripped the steering wheel.

He probably doesn’t have great memories of hospitals, you’d mused with your head lolling against the window, gaze bleary and unfocused as it swept over dusty backroads. With his wife and all. You hummed as the thoughts churned through your head, making your expression in the glass frown a little deeper. Maybe that’s why he always came back to his apartment so roughed up. Probably doesn’t like going if he can help it. I wouldn’t either, if I had to watch my wife die. I’d hate it.

⫸ -------- ⫷

Horacio sank deeper into the couch cushions, a hand cradling Isabella’s head as she lay across his chest. She was sleeping soundly for the first time in days and he let out a sigh, careful not to jostle her as he reached over to the phone on the table. He’d forgotten how difficult it could be, without you there.

He wanted to call. He wanted to see you, to talk to you, to do something. The plastic cord of the telephone tangled slightly when he held the receiver, thumbnail dragging over the buttons and catching on the shallow grooves of waxy plastic. It warmed under his hand, grown restless and waiting. He set it down again.

Your voicemail left two days prior still fogged his head like the static message of a radio, the signal too soft and too out of reach but still carrying over enough to whisper and root itself in every waking moment. It’s just- it’s just too much right now, Horacio. Maybe we can work it out. Maybe not. I- I don’t know. Take care, alright? I lo-

You’d ended the message then, the dial tone ringing mocking and sour in his ears.

⫸ -------- ⫷

It was Friday night. You were due back on Monday, but it was far enough away that you could pretend not to care. Things were a bit better now. You were eating and showering and doing laundry. Responsible-type things. You could finally sleep through the night, even if you were plagued by nightmares. Sleep was sleep, right?

He wasn’t sleeping much, though. Not tonight, at least. Undercut by the sound of Isabella’s fussy cries, you could hear him pacing. You laughed a bit, not because it was funny but because it was familiar.

Before you could realize what you were doing, you slowly padded over to the door, not caring that you hadn’t brushed your hair or were wearing old pajamas. He’d seen worse, anyways. You wordlessly took the baby from his arms. His eyes seemed sunken in, a bit darker and a bit more hollow. You didn’t say anything, though. Neither of you did. You just stood in the hallway, a quiet agreement to not look each other in the face blanketing the air in a way that made your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth.

She settled quickly against you, hiccuping breaths slowing underneath your touch. The air was hot, humid and sticky with the Colombian summer in a way that made your head soupy. You could hear cars in the distance, sirens and horns and all the violent things that had led him to you and you to him. You pressed a kiss to the top of Isabella’s head, smiling at the way she smelled like the color pink - the innocent softness that you’d grown to love like it was your own. You missed it.

Horacio’s eyes were downcast, broad shoulders taking up most of your field of vision in a way that had your throat closing up. You reached out to place her back in his arms, clearly your throat awkwardly when your hands brushed. He mumbled a thanks and you shook your head, stepping back towards your apartment. Your hand rested on the doorframe, tangible evidence of your hesitancy as you stood with your back still to him.

You turned, the ghost of your profile just catching the way he glanced up when you opened your mouth to speak. “I-” you began and then let the word drift off, hanging heavy and uncertain. A whispered goodbye finally escaped your lips as you turned the knob, the metal searing cold against your skin.

⫸ -------- ⫷

Still Friday night. Or Saturday morning. Hard to tell, in the witching hours when everything was dampened and tilted sideways. You felt tilted sideways. Off-balance. You didn’t even remember leaving your apartment.

Your steps faltered, the few yards from your door to his stretched out until it lay miles away, a distant exit on a road you’d been down before but couldn’t for the life of you remember when or why or how to get back on. Wrenching your eyes shut, you let your forehead fall against the plaster of the wall beside you, the stucco cool and pebbling hard beneath your skin. The air was tight in your chest, shallow breaths doing nothing to ease the choking feeling in your throat. It was like hands were wrapped around you, pushing down on everything until you felt ready to burst.

Legs moving of their own accord, you found yourself standing outside his apartment entrance, the painted wood staring back at you, impersonal. What were you even doing?

The door opened just as you were about to turn away, hinges creaking slightly and making you wince. He called your name, voice soft and slightly confused. It was late. Were you okay? Was everything alright? He didn’t get to finish the last question before you fell into him, arms thrown around his neck and gripping the fabric of his shirt so tight your knuckles paled. “I need you,” you whispered, your voice thick with tears.

You buried your face in his neck and his breath fanned out over your hairline, tickling your cheek when he looked down. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry but I- I just-”  He quieted you, whispering comfort into the shell of your ear until your hiccups slowed and the tears dried sticky on your cheeks. You could feel his hand on your back, the other braced against the doorway. Sniffling, you pulled away slightly. “I’m sorry.”

Horacio shifted to thread a hand through your hair, his touch gentle - almost hesitant. The front of his shirt was damp with your crying and you frowned at it slightly, moving your hands to his chest. He shook his head with a small smile, his own hands moving to rest atop yours and you were suddenly reminded of how big he was. It should’ve terrified you, standing there and being comforted by a man like that, a man capable of things you didn’t want to speak aloud, but it didn’t. It never had.

“Don’t worry about it,” Horacio  said. Oh. Right. The shirt. Hands reached up to cradle your face, rough fingertips smoothing over the curve of your jaw. You let your eyes fall closed, stepping closer until his feet widened. His thumb caught the downward drag of a tear, wiping it away across your cheekbones. “I’m sorry, too.”

⫸ -------- ⫷

He’d led you back into his apartment, your steps quiet and your voices hushed as you sat down by his kitchen table. Your eyes were still puffy and everything was fogged up, burning a little and blurry the way fighting sleep made you feel. It was dark outside. Your only witness was the moon.

You traced the rim of your glass of water as you spoke, a single finger circling until your nail caught its edge.

“We should talk,” he said as he drew up a chair. His voice was quiet, rounded out on the edges and tired. You laughed a bit as you took a sip.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Yeah we should.”

So you talked.

“Are you alright?” Horacio asked after a few minutes where you both sort of said things but didn’t really say much at all. You nodded, resting your cheek on a propped hand, the grainy wood digging into your elbow.

“Yeah,” you looked back at him, smiling. You were trying to be, at least. “I think- I think I was just scared, y’know?”

He frowned slightly. “I would never let anything happen to you.”

You shook your head. You already knew that. “No, no, it’s not that.” you began, your eyes downcast and swimming murky in the water glass. “I was scared of myself. Of things all going to shit again. I didn’t want you to-” you blinked back tears, reaching to wipe them away with the heel of your palm. “I didn’t want what happened to him to happen to you. I don’t think I could, I- fuck,” you whispered, cradling your head in your hands. You closed your eyes. “Sometimes I can’t help feeling like it’s my fault. And I know it’s not, I know that it’s just- ”

“It’s easier to blame yourself,” Horacio whispered, his hands coming to your wrists. “Believe me, I know.”

Yeah, he would, wouldn’t he?

He brushed the hair back from your face and you remembered when he kissed you, thinking of spun sugar and amber and other sweet things that could still burn your tongue.

You entertained the idea of facades for a moment, the notion that you could somehow still manage to build something out of brick and mortar and silence and keep him out. He’d already seen you with all your walls crumbling down, though, so that wouldn’t accomplish much. A self-deluded exercise in futility, pretending like you didn’t need him and he didn’t need you. You were fighting a losing battle with yourself, a civil war of body and mind and heart that left you sick and dog-tired, just searching for someone to heal with.

It seems you’d found what you were looking for.

You moved your hands, threading your fingers into his. Ghosting your lips against the inside of his wrist, your words were hoarse and came out before you could stop to think. “Can I kiss you?”

A large palm came to your cheek, coaxing your face closer. Horacio’s chair scraped the tile as he moved but you barely noticed the sound, your eyes closing as his forehead fell against yours. You felt his smile instead of seeing it. His voice wrapped around you, all-encompassing and rushing in your ears like the roar of a heavy ocean wave. “If you want to.”

The first kiss had been nice. Hell, it’d been a lot more than nice but this… this was different. Somehow better. Slower. Quiet and soft but still kindling a smoke in your belly, gentle blue gas flames licking at every inch of your skin until you felt dizzy with heat and with touch. His hands had fallen to your waist, shifting your weight with no argument until you sat draped on his lap. He was strong underneath you, solid and warm and safe.

You recalled the feeling of stubble beneath your hands that first time in the hallway, so you moved to press a kiss to his jaw, over all the contours and shadows you never had the time nor the courage to map out before. You wanted to memorize him, everything from the way his fingers felt on your hip to the feeling of his mouth against the hollow of your throat. You didn’t want to run anymore.

“Stay here,” Horacio breathed as you shifted in his arms, reaching to card your hands through cropped hair at the nape of his neck. You nodded, still hiccuping leftover tears into his mouth as they bled into moans.

“Okay,” you whispered.

permanent: @ah-callie @itzagoodthing @spookypym @opheliaelysia @watsonwise @damndamer0n @amarvelousmandalorian @bunnyart-blog @agirllovespasta @pascalispedro @pascalplease @coffeencontemplation @chelsfic @lesqui @javierpenaspinkshirt​​ @symbiont13 @glowingpena @squidlywiddly87 @1zashreena1 @hiscyarika @lostingoogletranslate @keeper0fthestars @bobafvtt @halfwaythereroyal @starwarsiscooliguess @huliabitch

ain’t it a gentle sound: @paniclana @huliabitch @jayoknrjk28 @raabiac @sparrows-books @popculturepriestess  @pascalplease @ididntmeantobutiaccidentally @lockedoutofmyotherblog @multifandom-fiasco @wherethefuckiskathmandu​

my tags have been all weird lately so if it doesn’t work/notify you im so sorry 😭😭 

[violetwolfraven]

Javid with 20 and 21? Like from friends, teaching each other their foreign language, to dating, both fully able to speak to one another.

One of us speaks a different language and teaches the other some stuff.

and

We both speak a different language and everyone thinks we’re dirty talking but we are literally just messing with them.

Fun! I’m gonna do Hispanic!Jack here because that’s a pretty popular headcanon. And I’m writing Mike and Ike as the same because I think they are??? In real life??? Even if they’re not they are in this. Also Modern AU because that seems simpler.

((I am so sorry that this kind of sucks. I could not come up with anything good for the life of me.))

...

“So, what’s your bet?” Jack asked.

Ike shrugged, “I’m 90% sure Jojo’s got the hots for my brother, but you know, they’re both stupid and probably won’t see it, so who knows?”

This was a yearly tradition Jack had with this certain friend of his. Every year on the first day of school since 6th grade, he and Ike would place bets who would come out in the coming school year. They decided who won simply by going by whoever was closest. As this was their freshman year of high school, they’d been doing it for 3 years, and while both were pretty sure that all of their friends were gay, bi, or pan, there was always the matter of when someone would feel safe enough to admit it.

Jack was proud to say, he usually won, but so far, one of them always managed to guess correctly who was coming out this year, usually within a month of when they actually did.

“So, you think Jojo’ll come out this year?”

“It’s hard to say. He’s got issues at home. If you really wanna know my bet, I think Elmer”

“Oh, yeah. He’s got the massive hots for Buttons. I’ll take that one. I bet he comes out by the end of first semester.”

Ike snorted, “Oh, I’m betting by the end of the month.”

“The usual amount of $20?”

“Obviously. Anyone else?”

“Hmm... Sniper,” Jack decided, “By Christmas.”

“Oh, yeah. She’s a solid bet,” Ike mused, “I’m guessing by Halloween.”

“You have an unreasonable amount of faith in our friends’ self-confidence,” Jack observed.

Ike laughed, “How about the new guy? He seems like a classic closet case.”

“I’m not sure.”

“With how you’ve been looking at him, I’d place bets on you hoping he’s gay.”

Jack figured the look on his face was probably pretty good with how Ike burst out laughing.

Suddenly, Race leaned over to Jack and said something in Italian, a language they both knew damn well Jack didn’t speak.

“Racer, ya know I don’t understand ya when you talk like that.”

“Well, that,” Race flicked Jack’s forehead, “Is just how it feels, big brother!”

“What were you talking about?” Davey asked.

Davey was Jack’s new best friend (adoptive younger brothers; Crutchie, Race, and Romeo not included) who he’d met literally this morning and would already die for. Though Davey was new to the friend group, it already felt, to Jack at least, like he had been there forever.

That did not mean he felt like telling him what Ike and him had just been talking about.

Ike was laughing awkwardly.

“I heard Jojo’s name,” Davey said, seeming to be thinking out loud, “And Elmer, Buttons, and Sniper. Still, talking about your friends doesn’t narrow the possible subjects down much.”

“Hey, Ike!” Mike hollered from the other end of the group, “Get over here! Kath brought her tarot cards!”

“Oh, rad! Sorry, Jack, you’s on your own!”

Ike was all to happy to leave. Race had already started having the argument of the day with Albert. Jack was alone on this one.

“Kath does tarot readings?” Davey asked skeptically.

Jack shrugged, “She don’t really believe in that stuff. She does it cause pretendin’ she does pisses off her dad. He doesn’t need to know it ain’t even her readin’ ‘em. Elmer’s the psychic one.”

“Elmer’s psychic?”

Jack laughed. He hadn’t thought Davey’s face could hold any more skepticism, but he’d been wrong.

“Who knows? Most of his predictions do come true, though.”

“What?”

Jack laughed again, “Let him read you if ya want. You’ll see.”

“Okay. Can he tell me what you and Ike were talking about?”

Crap. Jack had hoped talking about Kath and Elmer’s psychic thing would distract him.

Long story short, Jack panicked and said something sarcastic and mildly flirty.

“Learn Spanish and I’ll tell ya everything.”

Davey chuckled, “That’s cold, Kelly.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I am signed up for Spanish. Maybe you’ll just have to teach me what you know.”

Jack was honestly quite surprised by that.

Did Davey just flirt with him?

Before he could be sure, Davey gave him one last smile and headed over towards where Elmer was shuffling Kath’s tarot cards.

...

Spoiler alert: Davey was flirting with him. Jack quite honestly couldn’t believe his luck, because after a few months of Spanish tutoring and dancing around their feelings, they finally went on an actual date, and if you hit the fast forward button to junior year, they were still going strong.

And Jack had always been somewhat of a... dad friend for pretty much everyone else in his group, but he hadn’t even realized how hard that could be until suddenly, he was getting help from a boyfriend who many of the friend group had jokingly started referring to as ‘mom.’

Also, Davey was damn near fluent in Spanish, now, thanks to the class at school combined with being close with more than a few kids who’d grown up speaking it.

Oh, yeah. And Ike won the bet about Elmer coming out within the month. Jack won the one about Sniper coming out around Christmas time. In short, they were even.

Well, Jack felt like the lucky one, having gotten a boyfriend, but Ike got one about a year later, so... yeah, actually, they were still even.

“What are you thinking about?” Davey asked in Spanish. His accent was still not great, but it was definitely better than it was freshman year.

“Nothing,” Jack said before getting an idea, “But you know what we should do?”

“What?”

“We should pretend to flirt in Spanish.”

“What?” Davey looked super confused, “Why?”

“Because it’ll be funny.”

Mike, being in earshot, sniggered, seeming to agree. Jojo looked a little confused, but he was smiling, too.

Davey rolled his eyes, then lowered his voice to what could be considered a flirty tone, “Like this?”

“Just like that. Fantastic. Let’s mess with them and see how long it takes for someone to tell us to get a room.”

“I don’t really understand why you find that funny, but sure, if you want to. What should we actually talk about?”

“How about flowers? I need to get a certain friend something for her birthday. She said she likes flowers, so do you know what ‘you-know-who’s’ favorite flower is?”

“Why can’t you just say my sister’s name?”

“Because then they’ll suspect something. What’s her favorite flower?”

“I don’t know. I think she likes tulips. And I like lilies, by the way. It’s my birthday, too.”

“Oh, noted, love.”

Mike and Jojo seemed to be helping them, using body language that said they were super uncomfortable. As the only other two at the table who spoke or understood Spanish, Jack could only hope this would work.

Mike tilted his phone so they could see the screen. It was running a timer for how long it would take for someone to tell them to get a room.

Davey smirked cheekily, “You know what she really likes? Yarn crafts. She makes scarves and sweaters. You know this.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jack put his hand on Davey’s knee, “I forgot about that. What’s her favorite color again?”

“Yellow. Well... it changes every week. Just get her whatever color. She’ll be happy.”

They kept talking like that, acting like they were flirting but talking about mundane topics, until, sure enough, Specs told them to get a room.

Impressive. Mike’s clock read that it took their friends seven minutes to notice.

Jack was definitely glad that Davey learned Spanish.

[ourmiraclealigner]

Trust Me

Lewis Nixon x Reader

Gif not mine! Credit to original owner.

disclaimer: writings are only based off of the actor portrayals in the television series. this is not meant to disrespect the real hero’s of the war.

request: @floydtab Hi! Could I request some Nixon x reader fluff? Maybe he’s nervous about reader going on a patrol and tries to talk Dick into not letting her go (tho we know he’s just overreacting) thanks! ❤️❤️

synopsis: Lewis worries about readers saftey during the patrol + lots of fluffy background

—————————

When Lewis Nixon joined the Army, the last thing on his mind was falling in love. He had worked hard to get into officer school, fell in love with a civilian and gotten married a year before the U.S had been pulled into the war by Japan. He focused on his duties and responsibilities, not paying much attention to the privates and officers as they worked their way through boot camp. Of course, he knew of the ones that his best friend Dick always talked about. He knew Harry, Sobel, and the one female who never gave anyone the chance to mess with her.

Being the ladies man he is, he had started to pay attention to the young medic. He watched her in the dining hall and started listening to the stories Dick had told. He thought she was beautiful, but, being happily married and enlisted, he never made any attempts for conversation. Lewis Nixon was smart and practical; he wouldn’t ruin his reputation over a woman he didn’t know.

So, he kept his distance, focused on his work, wrote to his wife frequently, and tried to get Dick out of his shell.

Their first conversation came as they sat on the train, Harry Welsh fast asleep as Lewis sipped on his flask, watching the trees roll by as they headed to New York. The men were nervous with excitement, no one knowing if they would be heading to Europe or the Pacific.

(Y/N) sat with Malarky and Skip Muck, a book in her hands as she tried to tune the rowdy boys out and focus on the words in front of her.

“I’ll bet you $50 we’re going to Europe,” Skip announced with a confident tone, Malarky rolling his eyes at the boisterous claim.

“That’s ridiculous” Malarky added with an eye roll, writing down the bet in a little notebook he carried around “No way they’re sending us there, they need more Army guys fighting the Japs, only way we’ll win”

Skip Muck chuckled as he put a cigarette in his mouth, Malarkly leaning over and lighting it for him. “What do you think Doc?”

“Don’t know, don’t care” (Y/N) mumbled without looking up, silently begging the men to just let her finish the chapter in her book.

“Ah, c’mon Doc, don’t be like that” Malarkly urged, gently taking the book off her lap and closing it. “I know you want to get in on the fun. You can win back the money you still owe me from a few weeks ago” He added lightly, a smirk dancing onto his lips.

“What are we betting?” She finally gave in, smiling as Skip’s eyes glimmered with excitement.

“$50 on where we’re getting shipped off to” Skip answered, smoke drifting out from his lips.

(Y/N) thought for a few seconds, her eyes drifting towards the intelligence officer that sat a few seats in front of her. She clicked her tongue, shifting in her seat as she looked back at the two men.

“I have a better deal” She announced. “$75 from each of you if I can get the location from Nixon”

“Deal” Malarkly immediately responded, holding his out for her to shake. He was a sucker for a good bet.

“Now hold on” Muck quickly interjected, not as fond of losing money as his best friend was. “From Nixon? Right now?” He asked, trying to think of a time when he saw the medic and officer interact. He couldn't. He sat up a little straighter, the bet sounding better the more he thought about it. “What the hell?” He stated, “We’re going off to war, a few bucks won’t kill me”

She shook the two men’s hands before standing up, smoothing her Ike jacket down so she would be presentable. She slowly and shakily approached the officers, keeping her hands on the seats to make sure she didn’t fall. As soon as she reached them, she greeted them with a warm smile, her eyes on Nixon as she continued standing, not wanting to be rude.

“Sir” She started, speaking again only when he nodded for her to go on. She took a deep breath, trying to remember the short speech she had prepared in her head. “I know you aren't supposed to give away this kind of information” She watched his eyebrows raise in curiosity, Dick looking down at a letter he was writing and pretending like he wasn’t listening.

“Well Private, if you know I can’t tell you, I wouldn’t waste any time asking.” He interjected before she could go on. Dick hummed in agreement as she paused, taken aback by his response.

She cleared her throat as her hands nervously ran over her jacket again. “W-Well you see sir” She stammered, her cheeks heating with embarrassment. “I’m awfully curious about where we’re going” She explained gently, watching his features soften at her change in tone. “I’m proud to be able to serve my country wherever we end up, but I think I would feel a whole lot better if I knew where that place was.”

He shifted in his seat, her words playing over in his head as he turned towards her, his long legs crossing into the aisle. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you” He joked, the Vat 69 and her demeanor making him loosen up.

She giggled, his heart started to beat faster as he watched her smile reach her eyes. Now it was his turn to blush.

“I suppose I can divulge this one piece of information” He started sarcastically, Dick shaking his head at the choice of words. “But you have to promise you won’t tell anyone” He waited until she nodded before leaning close to her, his warm breath dancing on her skin. “Europe”

She pulled away with a quick nod, her cheeks bright red as she realized how close they were. He dismissed her with a curt nod, turning back to the window as Dick waited until she walked away.

“Guess you have to kill her now”

From then on, Lewis and (Y/N) became fast friends. She listened to his complaints about the maps and how “god damn hard they are to read” and he listened to hers about the comments the men made about her gender. Everyone knew they liked each other. (Y/N) got teased and dared to tell him by Skip and Malarkly, and the same with Dick and Lew. They both kept it hidden, not wanting to ruin the friendship that had blossomed between them. Because of the age gap, Lewis had a lot of firsts for (Y/N). He was her first best friend, the first time she put her full trust into someone, her first love, and on a rainy night in Aldbourne, her first time getting drunk.

They sat shoulder to shoulder under an awning, their body heat keeping eachother warm. They took turns taking small sips of the whiskey from Lewis’s flask. She was buzzed as she handed the flask back to him, their fingers brushing before he brought it to his lips.

“Lew” Her voice was small as his head turned to her.

“(Y/N)”

“You know my mom would be over the moon if I brought someone like you home?” Their eyes met, his voice breaking the silence.

“Someone like me?” He asked, confused by what she meant.

“Yeah” She grabbed the flask and took a sip before continuing “Like you. Handsome, smart, funny.” She took another sip, her mind screaming at her to stop before she said something she would regret. “I wonder if we would have met before the war things would have been different between us.”

“(Y/N)-” He started, but she quickly cut him off, needing to get the secret she had been keeping off of her chest.

“I like you, I like you a whole lot, Lew. I know we can’t-” He cut her off with a kiss, his hand on her chin to keep her in place as their lips moved together. He leaned his forehead against hers when they pulled away, keeping eye contact with her

“About time you said something princess”

They were inseparable from then on. Stealing quick kisses in corners of buildings, sneaking off to his office in the middle of the night, and his constant checking up on her in Bastogne. Lewis had no reason to be worried for (Y/N) but her safety plagued his mind 24/7. He knew she was smart and could handle any situation thrown at her. He never told her what she could and couldn’t do, he let her make those decisions but Haguenau was his breaking point.

He was the last one to know she was on the patrol. He had pushed the anger down and waited until he and Dick were alone, not wanting to cause a scene in front of the other officers and men. When he found himself standing next to the tall ginger as they stared to the German side across the river, he couldn’t hold back.

“Dick” His voice was sharp as his jaw clenched.

“I know” Dick was surprised Lew had been able to keep quiet for as long as he did. “I felt the same way at first. Spiers said she’s fast and we need her around if anyone gets hurt. It makes sense.” He tried to reason.

“It doesn't,” Lew’s arms crossed over his chest before he spoke again. “It doesn’t and you know it doesn’t. She’s not crossing that goddamn river. Cancel the patrol if you have to.”

Dick sighed. This is exactly how he expected it to go. “Lew” He said gently, turning to the shorter man. “The patrol is not getting canceled. It’s been cleared with Sink and you already got the boats.”

“I’ll get rid of them then. Burn them, shoot them, I don’t care. She’s not going. It’s too dangerous.”

Fed up with how outrageous Lew was being, Dick grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at him. “Do you trust me?” Dick asked, his voice stern as Lew nodded. “Then trust that I made the right call and that she won’t be in any danger. You know if I didn’t think she was right, I wouldn’t send her.

And with that, Dick put any objection Lew had to rest.

(Y/N) sat in the basement, her eyes trained on the flame that was burning the tip of Shifty’s rifle. She turned her head when she heard heavy footsteps stomping down the stairs, standing when she saw it was Lewis. Silently she followed him up and out of the house, letting him take her behind the building. She rubbed his arms, their breath forming clouds in front of them.

“You know I don’t want you to go” He started softly, his brown eyes staring into hers. “And I put up a good fight when I found out” She smiled at this, imagining the conversation he and Dick had. “But I know you’re just as good as any other man and I trust you. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it though”

She pressed her lips against his for a chaste kiss. “Thank you” She responded before kissing him again. He wrapped his arms around her, his warmth enveloping her small body. “I have to go, it’s almost time” She said reluctantly, pulling out of his grasp. “I love you” She said with a smile as she walked backwards so she could keep facing him.

“I love you too.”

The patrol was quick and was almost perfect. They lost one German on the river bank and Eugene Jackson. (Y/N) had done all she could. She held his head in her lap across the river and was pouring sulfur on his wounds before the other men laid him on the ground. Her hands worked quickly as she tried to stop the bleeding and drown out all of the chaos.

Although she had tried her best, all attempts were futile. Eugene Jackson was dead seconds after Eugene Roe ran in. (Y/N) sat on the dank basement floor, her shaking hands coated with the young boys blood as silence filled the room. She was tired of seeing young men die.

Eugene Roe glanced at her and Babe before reaching down and grabbing his dog tags to send back to his family.

(Y/N) felt numb as she stood from the floor, her chest tight as she breathed in the cold night air. She walked to the building where Lew’s office was and nodded at the young man standing at the door. Wordlessly he let her in, closing the door behind her as she started to walk down the hall. She knocked on the door twice before she heard Lew call out “Come in”.

She watched his features soften when her head peaked around the door. He stood up from behind his desk, disregarding the report he was filling out as she walked in and closed the door, giving them complete privacy. He pulled her into a tight embrace, her head rested flush against his chest.

“Eugene Jackson’s dead” Her words were heavy in the air.

“I’m sorry” He wasn’t sure what to say.

“I’m sorry too, for everyone that knew him back home.” With a quick shake of her head, she dismissed any other thoughts about it. “I don’t want to think about it anymore, I don’t want to think about any of this anymore. I just want to be in the moment with you”

He pulled away to sit on his desk, his hands pulling her in between his legs so they were eye level. His hands rested on her hips as he asked, “What do you want to think about?”

“Us. What our life will be like after this hell finally ends.” She ran her hand through his dark hair, gently pulling at it. “I want a dog. I’ve been thinking about names since Normandy. I really like the name Freddie.” She admitted.

He hummed and nodded his head in agreement. “Freddie? I can live with that.”

She smiled and kissed him, relishing in his warmth.