#Incorrect the Murderbot Diaries

[cobalt-knave]

incorrect The Murderbot Diaries #1

Client: You don’t look like a hotshot expert on personal security.

Murderbot: Well, I don’t feel like one either.

[andromeda3116]

This is my idea of the opposite of being helpful. I am here against my will and you are going to regret that.

-Murderbot, Network Effect

no comment, i just fuckin' love this line.

[elvencantation]

Gurathin: hello

Murderbot, monotone: no

Gurathin: i’m sorry?

Murderbot: no hello. go away. i don’t like you

[griseldagimpel]

Murderbot Diaries Incorrect Quotes

The Corporation Rim: We've created the perfect security system in the SecUnits.

Preservation: You fucked up a perfectly good construct, is what you did. Look, it has anxiety.

[rosewind2007]

"If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there."

— Anton Chekhov (From S. Shchukin, Memoirs. 1911.)

I said, You don’t have a weapons system. There hadn’t been one on the schematics. At least the schematics that ART made available in its unsecured feed.

Do you?

ART admitted, I have a debris deflection system.

There’s only one way to deflect debris. I had never been on an armed ship but I knew they were subject to a whole different level of licensing and bond agreements. (If one of them accidentally shoots something it’s not supposed to, somebody has to pay for the damage.) I said, You have a weapons system.

ART repeated, For debris deflection.

Iris: "Peri, you can't bomb the colony."

Perihelion: "You are incorrect,

Iris, I can bomb the colony."

[udaberriwrites]

So, Incorrect Quote time!

Second run of incorrect quotes, this time enabled by @tsunderewatermelon !

Rules: Use this generator to generate incorrect quotes and tag people!

Tagging: @axolotlsupremacyowo , @lena-hills and open tag for people who want to give it a try! :) (though as Tsundere said, you don't have to play if you don't want to!)

This time I'm going with the characters of the book I'm currently reading. The results have been... interesting :D

Murderbot: Don't quote me on this, but I think murder is illegal!

-

Murderbot: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

-

Murderbot: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

ART:

Murderbot:

ART: ...Please, go back to bed.

-

Murderbot: All in all, a 100 successful trip.

ART: But we lost Gurathin.

Murderbot: All in all, a 100 successful trip!

-

Murderbot: ART gave me a get better soon card.

Mensah: That's sweet!

Murderbot: I wasn't sick, it just thinks I can do better.

-

Mensah: How do Sec-Unit and Perihelion usually get out of these messes?

Gurathin: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

-

Mensah: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Amena: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

ART: Three of us saw it, Amena. How do you explain that?

Amena: *points at Gurathin* Sleep deprivation. *points at Murderbot* Paranoia. *points at ART* Delusional personality disorder.

[jadefyre]

Thinking about how, in the Imperial Radch books, Justice of Toren explains that when a ship doesn't like an officer, it does the bare minimum, and the officer might only notice when she's assigned to another ship and suddenly her life is a lot easier. But when a ship does like an officer or its captain, it will bend over backwards for her.

Thinking about how, in the Murderbot Diaries, Murderbot details how certain privacy-violating data it has gathered about clients it likes can 'accidentally disappear' during a system purge.

Thinking about how treating other beings with kindness is never the incorrect choice.

Just... thinking.

[fandom-space-princess]

An Audacious Undertaking, Even to God

Fandom: The Murderbot Diaries

Rating: Gen

Relationships: SecUnit 1 & SecUnit 2 & SecUnit 3

Additional tags: Book 5: Network Effect, Book 7: System Collapse, Canonical Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Queerplatonic Relationships, 1 & 2 do still die but not for very long, 3 needs its friends back :( , studies in construct relations

Chapter: 3/?

Read chapter below, or on AO3.

——————————

In the CR-standard hour it has taken Perihelion to return to the space dock, the clients have been brought out of the shuttle and relocated into quarantine. The transport’s humans have returned to their personal quarters, which are at present disconnected from the ship feed and insulated from its passive and active scanning functions. My own clients are in a room which appears to serve as a temporary dormitory on a recurring basis, and which is similarly isolated from connectivity.

I am not able to contribute meaningfully to this effort. Humans often seem to move slowly in comparison to the speed with which I process my surroundings, but at the moment, my performance is still suffering. Arada and Ratthi each individually advised that I remain as far from the explorer’s retrieved crew as possible.

(Ratthi: “If they ask, it’ll be easier to convince them we don’t know what happened to you if you haven’t been helping us move them bodily around the ship.”

Arada: “We can hope. You think they’ll remember who rescued them?”

Amena: “They might not. Eletra’s memory is still pretty messed up. We can play it off like one of us pulled them out, maybe, if it comes up? Say we went over ourselves, had to bring their shuttle back with us.”

Arada: “Believability concerns aside, encouraging someone to question their own mind is deeply unethical.”

Ratthi: “We can’t just let them take it back, either.”)

The gurney carrying 001’s body has vanished deeper into the ship. I do not know where it has gone, or what has been done with it. The thought of asking inspires contradictory sensations deep within my organic components. I want to ask. I do not, perhaps, want to know.

And so I do not ask.

I have new responsibilities to focus on, and this eases the feeling somewhat. We have come back to the space dock to complete the recovery of Perihelion’s crew. The tenor of its interactions both in the public feed and with myself privately has become perceptibly different since we arrived. It is still very angry. But that anger is now pointed in a direction that does not appear to include me, and when it does speak to me it is with an air of calculated consideration.

We have a plan for the retrieval of Murderbot 1.0—this is incorrect. We have a plan for the retrieval of the being which its clients (and Perihelion, when speaking aloud) refer to as “SecUnit.” I only partially understand why they do this. The memories shared with me by 2.0 included the practice, but did not explain its source; I know only that it prefers this state of affairs to the actionable alternatives. This explains the indirect phrasing of Amena’s initial query regarding my own name.

(“Three” does and does not feel like a name that might belong to me. When I attempt to imagine what I might like to be called that is more appropriate, however, my internal processes return a pointer variable. I already know what files I will find stored at that location, so I have been trying not to think about it.)

Our other retrieval mission is also set to commence shortly. After Perihelion revealed that it had refitted its pathfinders with explosive ordnance, Ratthi expressed a desire to inspect the one he is to escort planetside. As he has no specific training in such matters, he is consulting over the comm with one of Perihelion’s humans (feedID(“Tarik”), gender(male/masc)) from his position onboard the currently-ascending drop box. Arada is preparing the other shuttle. Neither of them have requested my help with these processes.

As of 3.77 minutes ago, Amena has cycled back through the transport’s main airlock and re-entered the space dock. According to our earlier conversation with the crew, those who are returning to the ship are in need of medical care, and so Amena has accompanied a drone gurney across to the drop box foyer with emergency supplies in the event they are deemed necessary. She stated that my presence would be welcome, should I care to accompany her.

It was not a command, and also not a question. I am no longer required to respond to either commands or questions. But in the absence of compulsion and protocol I find I have little guidance for what constitutes an acceptable response to many of the things that have been said to me. After the not-command-and-not-question, there passed a prolonged delay during which Amena stood patiently, looking past my left shoulder. My buffer eventually produced, “I’m sorry, I don’t have that information.” She shrugged one shoulder, smiled, nodded, and continued on to the airlock.

And now I am standing outside the main shuttle dock, staring at the wall. I do not have time to assist Amena before we depart for the planet. I tell myself this, once.

But…

No. It would compromise my ability to participate in this retrieval.

But.

The transport is watching me, silently, in the feed. Then it says: I can ask her to get it for you. She would agree without reservation.

I have already proven myself unable to perform my function once. The probability of repeating this outcome feels unacceptably high, given my current goals.

I send: Query: you examined it?

Perihelion: I reviewed SecUnit’s findings and performed my own additional scans, yes.

My first failure nearly cost me personal functionality, which I am willing to risk, and file integrity, which I am not. Do you believe it is serviceable?

Perihelion: Doubtful, but I would require more data to be certain.

I no longer know what responsibilities I owe to this situation, or… to them. 001’s body is somewhere nearby, damaged more comprehensively that I have ever seen. And 002’s body is on the other side of these walls, via a door which I am currently choosing not to pass through. When I had no ability to decide where I went or why, they were always nearby. Now that I have the power to make such a choice, I cannot go to them, because—at least for the moment—they exist only in me.

If I do not bring 002’s platform aboard, what will happen to it? Will the transport’s crew salvage it? Will the hostile humans take it?

If it is within mission bounds… please. And… I hesitate. This is difficult to ask. Resource allocation request: local mirror personal storage.

Perihelion’s presence withdraws almost entirely. For a moment I wonder if I have caused offense, but then it returns. It has granted me administrative access to a small partition of its onboard memory. The allocated space is a fraction of a sliver of its resources, but it is enough—more than enough. It has given me a place to copy my files.

The duplication process runs, and I examine the backups for imperfections or data loss. Perihelion watches me work. When they are in place a heaviness lifts from my organic components. The muscles in my chest and back loosen. I tell it: Thank you.

If 002’s platform is brought aboard, I do not know if it will be repairable. I do not know if I will be able to restore it. When I consider this my performance reliability begins to drop, and so I am trying not to consider it. I need to maintain optimal functionality for the task ahead of me.

2.0 sent me here to help. I do not believe it anticipated that I would do so in exactly this way, but I do not think it would be disappointed. Its desire for the secure retrieval of its original iteration and platform is obvious. And it offered me governance of myself when it had no need to do so—when it might in fact have been less of a risk not to do so. I am not unaware of the fact that it could have chosen to hack me. It did not. What it offered instead has amounted to an overture of trust, of friendship.

I see no reason the gesture should not be reciprocal.

I may not be able to restore 001 and 002, and this thought causes me more pain than any other. But I still have my function. For these humans who offer their kindness so freely, for the unknowable and terrifying transport, for 2.0—I will try to save what can still be saved.

——————————

[Before]

SecUnit-003: Alert, priority designation: URGENT. System acknowledge.

SecSystem: …

SecUnit-003: Shipwide alert. Priority designation: URGENT. System acknowledge.

SecSystem: …

I don’t think it can hear me.

SecUnit-003: Request command belay. Request command reissue. System acknowledge.

SecSystem: …

The bot pilot has been deleted. HubSystem is unresponsive. I do not know who or what is piloting the ship. My messages are pinging… something. I am receiving an echo from the remnants of SecSystem, but it is as though I am shouting into a cavern, hoping to receive a response from my own voice.

And I cannot move.

SecUnit-003: Initiate buffer purge.

SecUnit-003: Request command reissue.

SecUnit-003: Request command belay.

SecUnit-003: System acknowledge.

Nothing.

Some portion of the bridge crew remains alive in the lounge behind me—my continued compliance with my governance protocols is proof of this. What state they may be in is currently unknown. I was not able to aid in their defense. Before I even reached the bridge, SecSystem had been remotely instructed to cycle its command codes, and I was ordered into stand-down mode. From my position in the hallway, I watched the hostile boarding party overtake the bridge in coordination with the tactical team. As 001 had reported, they appeared compromised, operating under a compulsion that I could neither interpret nor offer assistance with.

The intruders spent several minutes out of my line of sight. SecSystem’s access to the bridge cameras was cut off. There was an exchange of energy weapons fire, then silence. When next one of the compromised tactical team emerged into the hallway, it was to order me to follow them back to the bridge and collect the bodies of the crew. They had been rendered physically immobile via mechanisms crudely spliced into their musculature, and two of them had sustained burns and contusions, but they were otherwise unharmed. I was instructed to deposit them in the lounge nearby, and then return to standby mode.

In the interim the situation has further deteriorated. At one point contact with a network-external ship was made. This resulted in some number of the hostiles departing the explorer, but they have been replaced by humans who are now in a situation identical to that of my own clients. I have tracked our movements through this system to the best of my ability, but with a hostile control system in place and SecSystem all but stripped of functionality, my inputs have shrunk to only my physical sensor arrays. The feeling is claustrophobic.

Eventually, I cease my attempts to ping SecSystem. More than a day has passed since the initial incursion, and I have disabled my olfactory sensors entirely. Between the unnatural cloying organic scent given off by the intruders and the onset of decay of the still-unattended corpses, the ship smells unpleasantly of death. There is no indication that either the remaining crew or the hostiles are likely to organize themselves well enough to find a use for me anytime soon. I cannot raise any of the supply team on broad-range comms. I have attempted many times to reinitialize 001, to contact 002, each time without success. I can do nothing but wait, and so I do.

But then—

It is unremarkable, at first. A maintenance program within SecSystem claims a fragment of its processing space, and it vanishes from my view. Ordinarily this would be so routine as to be unworthy of notice, but nothing about these circumstances is ordinary. I watch intently in the ship feed. Tiny eddies disturb what has been, until now, placid code. The hostileControlSystem that has installed itself in the ship could be responsible, but thus far it has not been successful in making use of what remains of SecSystem, and nothing it has otherwise done has been subtle.

Then, out of nowhere: System System: Unit Acknowledge.

And the reconfiguration of my existence begins.

——————————

[fandom-friday]

Steer Yourself (Any Direction You Choose) by antonomasia09 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42028581) Star Wars The Clone Wars, The Murderbot Diaries. After escaping from the Techno Union, Echo crash-lands onto Preservation. Everything they tell him there sounds far too good to me true. I really like how even thought this is from Echo’s perspective, you can tell that both he and Murderbot are treating each other with their own (incorrect) assumptions. Echo looks at Murderbot and sees a soldier and even tries to take over the drones, while Murderbot looks at Echo and sees a potential threat and tries to intimidate him. I really love this and am sad that there isn’t more Star Wars/Murderbot Diaries crossovers! If I have already sent this one in, just ignore this one! I’m kinda forgetful of what I’ve already sent, haha.

Hey repeat recs are ALWAYS welcome, especially awesome crossover ones! I recently FINALLY started reading the Murderbot books, and I LOVE the thought of this dynamic. I absolutely think it makes sense that Echo and Murderbot would approach each other with a healthy dose of skepticism, and it promises to be SO GOOD. I love this idea so much. Thanks for sending it in!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

[thedegu]

When I first heard about the murderbot diaries, I thought it was some weird short-story bout Stabby the rumba.

I then thought it was the series as Gideon the ninth.

Now, after reading all of the published books, MB becoming a blorbo and the series becoming brainrot. I can confirm that I was incorrect about those two facts.

Though I know MB would love stabby

[lavenderselkie]

I haven't reread a book in years, which is a huge change for me, because I have such a pile of other women's recommendations and unread books from the Lesbian Garage Sale... but after starting to reread Teixcalaan (finished the first one just started the sequel) I now cannot stop rereading the Murderbot Diaries. Everyone leaving bad reviews about murderbot's sarcastic narration is simply wrong and incorrect. I'm carrying these books around on my phone storage forever now like murderbot does with its shows.

[cobalt-knave]

Whump Fic Recs pt. 1 (& a brief love letter and tagging tutorial)

Ah, whump, my most beloved genre of fanfiction. What is whump? Whump refers to stories prominently featuring injury or sickness and/or the care and recovery thereof. This is most often in the hurt/comfort category or the hurt no comfort category. It is a wonderful opportunity to shake up dynamics and reveal hidden character depths in a high stress situation. What do you do when the strong one is hurt? How does that call into question your feelings towards them? How does that call into question their feelings towards themself and their role? Who will care for the one who always caretakes? It’s a great tonal shift too. Just *chef’s kiss*. Plus, you know what? It’s sometimes just fun to run your favorite characters through the plinko.

How do you tag whump and why should you? The tags on ao3 to use are”

 “Whump” (not just “whumptober” or “whumptober 2022″ or other variations),

“hurt/comfort” or “hurt no comfort”

“angst”

“sickfic” if illness is the featured whump

“injury recovery” if such a thing is covered

“torture”, “car accidents”, “broken bones”, “blood and injury”, “blood and violence”, etc as relevant (start typing into the additional tags section to see what the common tag is to use.

“Character Name Whump” or “Hurt Character Name” if in a specific fandom whumping a specific character

all of the previous should be used in addition to the base whump tag.

if relevant, use the archive warning “graphic depictions of violence”

why tag? BECAUSE I WANNA READ IT AND FIND IT AND IT IS WOEFULLY UNDERTAGGED. It is also good to tag if someone wants to avoid it by excluding it from the search.

Alright. On to the recs. Multifandom including The Mechanisms, The Magnus Archives, King Falls AM, The Adventure Zone, Our Flag Means Death, The Murderbot Diaries, and Stargate SG-1.  There will be more whump recs to come.

On Account Of The Jonny Doll by NammiKisulora

Fandom: The Mechanisms

Ah, NammiKisulora knows how to make these immortals hurt in such twisted and unique ways.

 “Yeah. Get in, will you? I want to get going. Jonny keeps waking up. W-without skin.”    “Oh Yes! That Must Be On Account Of The Jonny Doll!”

Jonny is executed, which is a normal enough occurrence. It’s only afterwards things go wrong.

We Still Have the Radio - I. and  We Still Have the Radio - II. by luckjustkissedyouhello                

Fandom: King Falls AM

luckjustkissedyouhello writes some damn good, damn brutal whump!

The next thing he’s aware of is water against his face, wait no, all of him, where he lays on his left side. Water that is rapidly rising. He lays there dazed. Then a groan above his head has him jerking back into the moment, fear lancing through him, stealing his breath. Ben.

In which Ben and Sammy are in a car accident.

bleeding by Athina_Blaine

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Martin goes and gets himself stabbed. It's inconvenient.

Re-Initialization by CompletelyDifferent

Fandom: The Murderbot Diaries

This Unit: Where is my owner, Dr. Mensah?

Dr. Yuen: Well, that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? SecUnit, where did you last physically interact with Dr. Ayda Mensah?

Information Retrieval: Dr. Ayda Mensah last interacted with This Unit on Preservation Station at 08:27:22 on 4098-09-17 CRST.

This Unit: You do not have permission to access that information.

Dr. Yuen: You’re incorrect, SecUnit. We do. Answer the question.

(When the infamous rogue SecUnit of the Preservation Alliance gets captured, the corporate techs assigned to it expected to be able to get some juicy data, or at least some insights into its cracked governor module. They didn't expect something so... basic.)

trust me by gaysidecharacter

Fandom: The Adventure Zone: Balance

Everyone gets real sick and Lup is having a time.

Not an echo even by Hopeful_Foolx

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

They stop the Unknowing. There is an explosion. And trapped under rubble and panic, Jon wakes up. So does Tim. Three prompts, one story. Starting with Day 4 - Running out of Time

Friends in Strange Places by beesandcats

Fandom: Our Flag Means Death

"Steel in your side for so long was a weird feeling, Stede decided. It had actually been around hour six that he came to the conclusion, if anyone was keeping track. It had been around hour three, when he heard the snores from the other side of the deck, that he realized he should perhaps try to be friends with the steel in his side. Obviously, they were not friends."

A missing scene from Season 1, Episode 6. Stede's been stabbed and stuck to a pole all night. He's gonna need some help when everyone wakes up for the day.

Things Stay the Same by teyla

Fandom: King Falls AM

During blizzard season, Ben and Sammy, each for their own reasons, make an unwise choice. The experience that ensues should be life changing—though is it? 

In which there is a snowstorm, an accident, a soaked through jacket, and thoughts of revealing secrets.

Lifestock by NammiKisulora

Fandom: The Mechanisms

"Guys, you get what this means? It means fresh meat, every day for as long as we like." "The fuck are you talking about?" "Just sayin' we could leave his leg attached, tie him up, and bring him along. Carve off what we like at mealtimes instead. We dunno how long we've got to lie low for."

Tim is held captive for food after a battle.

Between A Rock And A Hard Place by Sam Walker

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

To save Daniel’s life, Jack has to do that hardest of all things: talk.

This fic is written from Jack's perspective. Daniel is involved in an accident off-world and the only thing Jack can do to help is talk to Daniel while everyone else works. I love this fic for the interaction between Jack and Daniel, and for the insights into Jack's motivations. Despite being mostly Jack and Daniel, you get a sense of camaraderie about SG1 and you can see just how much Jack cares about his team.

And if you read any of these, be sure to leave kind comments for the authors!

[thepringlesofblood]

I’m making a list of quotes from the Murderbot Diaries for a quiz (a match-the-person-to-the-quote sort of thing) - anyone have any favorites to send in?

Here’s what I have so far - they’re mostly Network Effect since I’ve been re-listening to the audiobook lately, and they’re mostly murderbot. I’m trying to get some from other characters (all quotes are welcome though!)

(SPOILERS up through Fugitive Telemetry)

I've lost my crew. I won't lose you - ART

Sometimes people do things to you that you can't do anything about. You just have to survive it, and go on - mb

You are incorrect, Iris. I can bomb the colony - ART

You were lucky - ART

I hate having emotions about reality. I'd much rather have them about Sanctuary Moon - mb

Well, it was a little rude - arada

Thank you for that information - 3

It would be better if they could think of you as someone who is trying to help, because that's how I think of you - mensah

Are you fighting again or are you making up? Because it looks exactly the same from the outside. - amena

As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure - mb

Anyone who thinks machine intelligences don't have emotions needs to be in this very uncomfortable room right now. - ratthi

Angry, then afraid, then dead. Is that the right order? - mb

Please calm yourselves and stop talking. Plan A01: Rain Destruction has been superseded by Plan B01: Distract and Extract. - ART

I know violence isn't the solution to everything, but in this case... - 2.0

Okay you keep the ship. I'll take the planet. - 2.0

I was having an emotion, and I hate that. - mb

I am actually alone in my head, and that's where 90 plus percent of my problems are - mb

You may have noticed that when I do manage to care, I'm a pessimist - mb

Fear is an artificial condition - tapan

I guess you can't tell a story from the point of view of something you don't think has a point of view - mb

It’s normal to feel conflict. You were part of something for a long time. You hate it, and it was a terrible thing. But it created you, and you were part of it. - bharadwaj

The problem with gunships is they want to shoot at stuff. - mb

Okay, Third Mom - amena

People, please. I’m scheduled to mediate arguments between teenagers on my next commcall home and I need all my patience for that. - mensah

Who runs around with a friendly rogue SecUnit? Besides us, I mean. - ratthi

We’re friends, and friends call each other by name. - miki

I'm not going to hurt your humans, you little idiot - ART

So you don't have a governor module, but we could punish you by looking at you? - gurathin

I love you armor, andd I'm never leaving you again - mb

SecUnit's brain is always compromised - ART

I'm not going to turn around and show you my neck, strange person I just met on an alien planet! - Iris

Who the fuck are you? - ART

[elvencantation]

Muderbot: is this going to be an… intervention? because the last one I was at, the human died and- Amena: what? Murderbot, awkwardly: oh- uh, did I say died? I mean cried. I always mix up those two for some reason probably because- Murderbot: I see weaknesses in both Amena: I… worry about you

[libraryspectre]

Random person: but LOVE and SEX are what make us HUMAN

Murderbot: sucks for y'all *faceplate goes opaque*

[rosewind2007]

I mean, looks like something it might say…