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pinknatural · 3 years

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On Monday night, Cas kneels beside the bed and folds his hands, dipping his forehead against the blankets and closing his eyes, lips moving soundlessly. Dean sits on the bed, still as a statue, and watches him, afraid to move.

When Cas straightens his head and uncurls, standing up, his eyes are wet with tears. Dean reaches for him and Cas falls onto the bed, presses his face into Dean’s neck, sobs silently. Dean holds him close, one hand cradling his head and the other rubbing his back, and he stares at their ceiling.

Dear Jack, or God, or whoever, he prays. Please come back. Please come home. We miss you.

On Tuesday morning, Dean untangles himself from Cas gently and brushes the hair from his forehead, presses a kiss to the uncovered skin. He gets out of bed and tiptoes out the door. He’ll get Cas some coffee. It’s the least he can do.

Dean’s chest feels tangled in knots, misery weighing heavily on him. All Dean can think about are his mistakes, all the ways he’s screwed up his kid. All the ways he’s done what he swore he’d never do, three nights after Sam left for Stanford, when he was curled up in a motel bathtub, hiding from his own father.

But today’s not about Dean, or his guilt, or his pain. It’s about Cas, and it’s about Jack.

Dean creeps down the stairs, holding the ends of the dead guy robe up so he doesn’t slip. He drops the fabric once he reaches the hardwood floor down below, and he heads for the kitchen.

Something rattles, and he freezes.

There’s a knife tucked into the leather jacket hanging by the front door, and Dean slides his hand into the pocket, curls his fingers around the hilt. He glides on socked feet towards the kitchen, hoping it’s just Claire--but Claire never wakes up this early.

From the kitchen, something clatters and falls. It sounds like bowls falling, and Dean takes bigger steps, readying his knife. When he turns the corner into the kitchen, though, it’s not a shitty robber or a demon or Claire or anything else Dean thought it might be.

A chair from the kitchen table was dragged across the room, pushed up against the cabinets. The cabinet with the bowls is both open and empty, and the plastic bowls are scattered against the counter and floor. On top of the kitchen chair is a little boy--three or four, with blonde-brown hair and wide blue eyes. His little arms are reached out to the fallen bowls, as if he tried and failed to stop them from falling. He freezes and blinks at Dean, who stares back at him.

“Dean!” the boy cries, and he jumps off the chair and runs full-tilt at Dean, wrapping his little arms around Dean’s leg and burying his face in Dean’s gut. Dean startles and crouches down, disrupting the kid’s hold.

“Hey,” he says gently, unwilling to scare the kid. The little boy is beaming, a bright smile, little baby teeth lined up and gleaming. He has a smattering of freckles across his nose, and he’s wearing a pair of pink dinosaur pajama pants, with a slightly oversized Led Zeppelin t-shirt. His socks say DADDY’S LIL ANGEL on the top of his feet. Dean surveys the boy’s face again. “Jack?” he asks eventually, unsure who else it would be, and maybe a little too hopeful to be thinking straight.

“Yes!” the boy--Jack, apparently--says, flinging his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean hugs him back, confused, and inhales. He smells like the strawberry shampoo he used at the Bunker.

“Hey, buddy,” Dean says, and he stands, his back protesting at the crouch, pulling the little boy up with him. “How are you here? Why are you little?”

“I was all done!” Jack says proudly, spreading his arms out wide and nearly smacking Dean in the face.

“All done?”

“All done!” Jack confirms. “I was soooo tired. So I came home! And now I want cereal.”

He wiggles in Dean’s arms, trying to get down. Dean yields, and Jack runs to the fallen bowls, picking up Claire’s favorite purple one. Dean watches, astounded, as Jack opens the cabinet but can’t reach the cereal. He follows and reaches for it, puts it on the counter.

Jack is here. Jack is home. Jack is his actual age. Dean wonders if he has powers, then he decides it doesn’t matter. If he does, they can deal with that later.

“Hey, Jack,” Dean says. “Come here.”

Jack runs up to him, still clutching his bowl. He lifts his arms obediently, and Dean picks him up, gently takes the bowl from his hand and puts it on the counter.

“You’re home?” Dean asks. “For good? This isn’t a dream?”

“I’m home!” Jack says, kicking his legs. “For ever and ever.” His eyes go wide and uncertain. “You said I could.”

“Yeah, buddy,” Dean says, a lump in his throat. “Of course I did.” He cups the back of Jack’s head and brings their foreheads together, wills away his tears. “Come on, you can have cereal in a little bit.”

He turns away from the mess in his kitchen and towards the stairs. “How did you know we wouldn’t be at the Bunker?”

“I wanted to come home,” Jack says. “Not the Bunker.”

Dean blinks rapidly. Jack pokes the picture of his older self as they pass it on the stairwell. Dean stops at the top of the stairs, turns his head to the left to look at Claire’s bedroom, the door shut tight.

“Shh,” Dean says, and Jack nods solemnly.

“Shh,” he repeats.

Dean turns his head to the right, to look at the door across from Claire’s. It’s shut, too, out of respect. They’ll go there later, Dean decides. They’ll see if Jack likes the decorations Cas put up, or if they’ll have to go to the store and change it. Dean will be thrilled either way.

He keeps walking. His bedroom is at the end of the hall, past Claire’s bathroom, and Dean pushes open the door gently.

“Okay,” he whispers to Jack. “You can jump, but only if you’re very careful.”

“Okay,” Jack whispers back, and Dean dumps him onto the bed. Jack stands and walks the three steps it takes to get him to the middle of the bed. He falls to his knees and pokes at Cas’s chest, then bounces on the mattress beside him. “Daddy, wake up.”

Dean’s heart melts, and Jack pokes at Cas’s cheek, then his nose. Cas doesn’t wake up, and Jack crawls on top of him.

“Dadddyyyy,” he says. Cas startles, then blinks awake, bleary. Dean watches his eyes slit open, confused, and the blue eyes focus on the little boy sitting on his chest. Then Cas shoots upright, hands on Jack’s shoulders.

He looks at Dean, who nods, then he looks back at Jack.

“Jack?” he whispers.

“Daddy!” Jack says happily, then Cas squishes him to his chest, curling over him.

“Jack,” he breathes. “Oh, you came back.”

“Yep!” Jack says, voice muffled, and Dean sits down, crawls onto the bed.

“Apparently he was all done,” Dean says.

“Yep!” Jack says again. “Auntie Amara said it was time to go home.”

“Of course it was,” Cas says, his voice fragile, and he rocks back and forth, holding Jack to his chest. He looks up at Dean, eyes wet, and Dean hugs him.

They stay like that for a long moment, Jack pressed between them, clutching onto Cas’s shirt with tiny fingers. Dean exhales shakily and presses his forehead to Cas’s, then he remembers something.

“Hey buddy,” he says. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Ummm,” Jack says. “Tuesday?”

“No, baby,” Cas says, sniffing.

“No, it’s Tuesday,” Jack argues.

“Of course it is,” Dean says. “But do you know what else it is?”

“No,” Jack says.

“It’s your birthday,” Dean says. “You’re four now.”

“Wow,” Jack says. He wiggles in excitement. “Does that mean we can have cake?”

“Of course we can,” Cas says, making a noise that sounds like a sob and a laugh at the same time.

“And a biiiiiiggg party?” Jack asks.

“The biggest,” Dean promises.

“With Uncle Sammy?” Jack asks. Dean doesn’t know where he picked up “Uncle Sammy”, but he hopes Jack calls him that forever.

“Of course,” Dean says. “I’ll call him in a few minutes. We’ll call everyone.”

“Everyone?” Jack asks.

“Everyone,” Dean says.

“Even Kaia?”

“Especially Kaia,” Dean says. He looks at Cas, realizing that he’s not the only person living in this house, but Cas doesn’t seem like he’s about to argue. In fact, he’s making his calculations face--probably wondering who to invite, who can get here on time and so last minute.

Dean realizes, suddenly, that Claire and Jack have never met. They’ll have to remedy that.

They can, now.

They can do anything, Dean realizes, as they get out of bed and Cas says something about no baby clothes and Jack protests that he’s not a baby, as they tiptoe past Claire’s room to retrieve the promised cereal. Dean unlocks his phone on autopilot, opening the phone app and turning to the favorites tab. When Dean was four, his family was destroyed.

Claire comes downstairs, Miracle in tow, and she shakes Jack’s hand solemnly. Sam screams over the phone. Rowena shows up in half an hour with a closet full of clothes fit for a four year old. Eileen and Sam bring balloons and streamers.

Cas is alive, Dean thinks while he mixes the cake. Sam is hanging up streamers across the room. Jody and the girls bustle in with enough food to feed an army. Claire lets Jack climb on her, looking a bit frightened and a bit resigned. Kaia helps Jack put on a tutu over his jeans. Dean slides the cake into the oven, and watches Eileen teach Alex how to sign happy birthday.

Jack is here now. He’s here and he’s four, and Dean’s family was destroyed when he was four, and now his son is four years old.

“Our family’s all together,” Dean whispers into Cas’s ear. Cas kisses him briefly. Dean had tried to keep track of their kisses, at first, but he’s lost count.

“Yes,” Cas says, eyes bright. “They are.”

(ao3)

#jack kline #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #nougatparty #writingtag #this kind of became about dean cause i got emo but here. baby time

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magickastiel · 3 years

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✨ B&B’S CHRISTMAS ADVENT CALENDAR ✨

17th December - baby, it's cold outside

I am, once again, attempting to write one story through different prompts. I really enjoyed it last time so let’s see if I can do it through December!

check out the other days | now on ao3

Summary: Just a month after defeating Chuck, Sam & Dean are faced with their first real Christmas. Eileen, Jody, Donna, Claire & Kaia descend on the Bunker for a Christmas celebration like no other. But for Dean, Castiel’s confession still weighs heavy. It might be easier to deal with if Cas was actually around to talk to but he and Jack are busy in Heaven. Surely they don’t have time to come home for Christmas…do they?

🥶

Dean can’t sleep.

It’s gone midnight, technically Christmas Day, and while everyone else is tucked under their blankets, Dean is under Baby’s hood.

The familiar smell of oil and metal calms him a little, even as he shivers in his pyjamas in the cold garage.

Everyone had gone to bed in high spirits but Dean can’t shake the thought that something’s wrong. There was something in Sam’s face, a split second of unconcealed panic, before he quickly shrugged it off.

It does occur to Dean that he’s being paranoid.

After Chuck played with their lives for so long, it’s sometimes hard to believe that they really are free. That no one’s operating his strings and making him dance. So he gets paranoid. Not all the time, not about everything, but it does happen.

It’s easing slowly. Having more family around helps - stops him from overthinking like he usually does.

So now, he can’t tell if he’s overreacting or if his gut is telling him something.

He’s trying to push his suspicion away but he can’t quite get past the horror on Sam’s face, the tenseness of Cas’ shoulders or Jack’s words. ‘What if we’re not all together next year?’

What if, what if, what if.

“Dean?”

Dean almost knocks his head on the hood, wrench clattering to the ground.

“I’m sorry.” Cas is at his shoulder, peering at him with those blue eyes. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“S’fine.” Dean wipes his hands with a rag.

“What…” Cas trails off, head tilting. “This isn’t your usual music.”

“Hmm? Oh, no.” Dean feels strangely embarrassed. “Christmas radio station - put it on for Jack when we went to the store. Haven’t got round to changing it.”

Actually, he almost had. But he remembered Jack’s gap-toothed smile and his legs bouncing along to the music and he’d decided to leave it on.

I really can’t stay

Baby, it’s cold outside

As soon as the song begins, Dean tries not to listen.

“Are you alright, Dean? I saw the light and came to check if there was an intruder.” Cas’ eyes study him and he resists the urge to squirm under his intense gaze.

“Yeah, fine. Just…couldn’t sleep, I guess.” He turns back to Baby, pretending to tinker with the oil. He’s starting to realise just how alone they are and his whole body is alive with energy.

“Is there something on your mind?”

“No.” Dean answers automatically, forcing himself to keep his back to Cas. If Cas looks at him he knows he’s gonna see everything.

“Oh.” Cas sounds dejected. “I’ll…leave you, then. I don’t want to intrude.”

Soft footsteps heading to the door match Dean’s heartbeat. He should let him go, let this moment pass like all the others.

Beautiful, what’s your hurry?

“Cas, what’s going on?”

The footsteps stop and so does Dean’s heart.

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

Dean turns to face him and instantly knows he’s right - something is definitely wrong. There’s that guilty look, one he knows too damn well. Knows it from the ring of holy fire, knows it from Purgatory, knows it from running off with the Colt. Knows it from coming back to life when he thought he’d be dead forever.

“You do.” Dean pushes, invigorated with renewed confidence and frustration. “What’s going on? What ain’t you and Sam telling me?”

Cas huffs. “Dean, I…” He lets out a long sigh and Dean waits, still hoping he’s wrong. “It’s difficult.”

“What is, Cas? Please, man, c’mon. It’s driving me nuts, what’s goin’ on?”

Baby, it’s bad out there.

Cas looks skyward and closes his eyes. “We think we may have found a solution.”

Dean blinks. “Ok, great. To what?”

“Jack being God.”

“Uh, ok.” Dean’s mind whirrs, trying to work out how this all fits together. “Is that something that needs to be solved?”

Cas sighs again, wandering closer. “Not cosmically, no. But Jack is four years old. And while he certainly isn’t a toddler, he’s still very naive. And he wants to live a more normal life. I think he deserves that. I want that for him.”

“Yeah.” In theory, Dean can definitely get behind that. “Makes sense - Jack wants me to show him how to cook.”

“Yes.” Cas totally softens for a moment, close enough for Dean to see the blatant affection radiating from him. “He told me that.”

Your eyes are like starlight now.

“How - ” Dean swallows and tries again. “How would it work? What would he have to do?”

“We have made plans for a council, of sorts. Shared power, shared responsibility. It would require transferring part of Jack’s powers to several different angels on the council. He would still keep some of his powers but they would be more manageable.”

“Thought most of the angels were gone?”

“Jack’s been making more.” Cas nods, looking proud. “He’s doing very well.”

“Huh. Ok, cool.” Dean is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. “So, what’s wrong, why couldn’t you just tell me this? Sounds good, like you and Jack might be able to leave them to it at some point.”

Cas looks away and Dean knows there’s something big coming. Cas always looks him in the eyes, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s too much.

“Jack wants to give me the power too. He thinks I should be one of the angels on the council.”

“I-I guess.” Dean can see the logic in it even if he doesn’t like it very much. “Do you want to? I mean, you’d have a lot more power right?”

“In every way but name, I would be an archangel. I would be very powerful and I would have full use of my wings again.”

“Oh, ok.” Dean forces a smile because he knows how much Cas would love that. “Well, it’d be easy to drop in on us pretty often, right? No more driving everywhere - ”

“I would have to stay.” Cas says quickly, still not meeting Dean’s eyes. “In heaven. Forever.”

I really can’t stay

But baby, it’s cold outside

Dean feels like the garage floor has just tilted and someone’s drained all the colour from the world and all the blood from his body.

“What? You mean - ”

“I would never travel to earth again.” Cas takes a deep breath that he doesn’t need. “I would never see you again.”

Dean tries to process it but his mind keeps rejecting it over and over like a maxed out credit card at an overly full checkout.

“Are you gonna - ”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided. That’s why we came back. We thought some time away would help us work it out.”

How lucky that you dropped in.

“Right.” The void in Dean’s chest is quickly being filled with anger. “And you told Sam about this already?” Cas nods, a wary expression on his face. “We’re supposed to be…” He trails off, eyes stinging and cheeks getting a bit warm. “We’re supposed to be best friends, Cas. You’re meant to tell me stuff like this! You can’t just ignore it.”

Cas looks up, glaring hard enough to make Dean take a step back. “You are not the one to lecture me about that. Every time I have tried to talk to you over the past few days, you have dismissed me.”

Guilt slugs into him like a gut-punch.

“It’s hard for me to confide in you when you won’t let me speak to you.”

Before Dean can say another word, Cas storms out of the garage and back into the Bunker, door slamming closed behind him.

Cold and empty, Dean sits down on the garage floor and cries.

But don’t you see?

How could you do this thing to me?

#b&badventcalendar #destiel fic #destiel #spn fic #spn #supernatural #mine

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bijoharvelle · 3 years

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Father's Day has been...hard.

Claire can remember being younger, being, like, ten and her mom taking her to the corner drugstore to buy a Hallmark card for her dad. For Jimmy. She would dutifully write a personal note into the blank space -- something about how she loved him and would forever, how she was thankful for how he raised her.

And then an angel walked into her father and walked away.

After that, things were so fucked up, Claire hardly even noticed Father's Days passing. One time, she was slipping a candy bar into her pocket at a gas station and happened to see, through the fuzz of a bad reception, what was clearly a commercial for Father's Day. At that time, though, she was still something sharp and acidic so she just snorted out a laugh and walked off.

Now --

Well.

It's not any easier, really. Because her father is still gone. There's still that hole there. Having new and different and good doesn't heal the fact that she lost her Dad. Jimmy wasn't perfect, sure, but he was good. He tried. He brushed her hair when she was little and he sang her Beach Boys in the car on the way to soccer practice. He took her to soccer practice.

She misses him, so much sometimes that it feels like her chest might crack open. She's not usually enough of a sap for things like commercials to get to her but this one has a dark-haired dad and a little blonde daughter and they're dancing how she and Jimmy used to dance: her up on Jimmy's feet, arms flung out wide with hands laced together.

She almost doesn't pick up when the phone rings but then she does. "What?"

"I -- " His voice is still gravel and razor-wire and that's one saving grace. He might be wearing her dad's face, still, but at least he doesn't sound like him. "I'm sorry. I could feel -- You were praying."

"No, I wasn't." Her words are harsh but she can't regret it because it's to hide the fact that she's crying.

"Right. I'm sorry. I felt -- Anyway. I'm sorry to bother you, then. I was just worried."

There's a pause of dead air, the two of them just breathing. And then Claire says, "Wait." Which was unnecessary, because he was clearly gonna wait for her to hang-up first but. "Wait. Maybe-- Whatever. What are you doing?"

Another stretch of silence. Then: "Dean was in the middle of showing me...a movie. I left to call you."

Something that's almost a smile finds its way onto Claire's face. "Oh yeah? I guess you weren't too impressed with his taste in movies, huh?"

A sigh rustles static across the connection and then Castiel says, sounding the most put-out she's ever heard him, "There are always cowboys."

Claire laughs at that, honest to god laughs, and it's a little watery but it's good. It almost fucking hurts, but it's good. "When we hang-up, I'm gonna send you a song to play for Dean, okay?" The chorus for Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other is already rolling through her head and she would give anything to see the shades of red Dean'll turn at that.

"All right, Claire."

His tone is a little lilting, dragging, like he's expecting a goodbye.

"But. But not yet. Okay. Tell me-- I dunno. You're good? I mean, I guess you're good, if you're watching movies with Dean."

"Yes," Castiel says. "Yes, I'm good. How are you, Claire?"

She looks around her. She had been watching some dumb teen drama on Hulu when the commercial popped up. Alex is across the room, on her bed, headphones on and eyes trained on whatever game she's dungeon-crawling her way through. Downstairs, Claire can hear Jody and Donna laughing together, if she listens hard enough. Across the hall, Patience and Kaia's room is quiet, which means those two nerds are probably reading some geek novel or lore book Sam sent them, or something. And Claire --

"Yeah, I'm okay," she says, softly, like she means it. "I was thinking of you, actually." It's a confession, an admission.

"Were you?"

"Well. About Jimmy. I--" Her breathing hitches and she thinks Castiel is holding his. "Could I tell you about him?" She doesn't know why she says it, hadn't meant to. But it's out there and she can't take it back. And it's stupid, because Castiel was possessing the bastard for, what, a year? More? He probably knows her dad better and in more ways than she ever could

But: "I'd like that, Claire. Very much."

So she settles down further into her bed and starts talking.

#blacked out and wrote this because i love my dad so much it hurts my head #chayya writes #spnclownpals #claire novak #dadstiel #castiel #spn fanfic

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chobit92 · 2 years

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House of Wax: Part Three

@rubycstory07 Managed to get a part three done, hope you like it.

(Kaia wakes up. It takes her a minute to remember where she is. It’s always like this when she wakes up. The realisation that it wasn’t all just a nightmare. That she’s actually being held prisoner by a nut job and his nut job brothers. She realises that she has a blanket draped over her. She frowns. She doesn’t remember having a blanket when she fell asleep. She sits up and looks around. She is in Vincent’s bed in his workshop. She doesn’t see Vincent so he must have left. The dog is gone too. She sighs. She hears footsteps and lies down again curling into a ball. Seconds later Vincent appears. He stands there looking at her and she sits up again looking at him. It’s unnerving the way he just stands there staring at her. She then realises that her nightie strap has fallen off of her shoulder and she hastily pulls it up again then looks at the floor. Vincent turns and walks over to his desk switching the lamp back on. He sits down and picks up a pencil.).

Kaia: Vincent, do you have any water?

(He goes still his pencil hovering over the paper. But then he carries on drawing. She sighs. Of course he isn’t gonna help her. If he had his way he’d be turning her into a damn sculpture like he did Whitney. She curls up again. She doesn’t know how long she’s been lying there but she hears footsteps again. Her breath catches in her throat and her body tenses up. She knows who it is before he appears. Bo. He casually strolls into the room and looks around. He sees her curled up on the bed.).

Bo: What’s this? You sleeping with my brother tonight?

(Kaia slowly sits up.).

Kaia: I just came down here to get warm. It’s cold out and you didn’t leave me any clothes.

Bo: I told you not to leave the house. You wouldn’t be cold if you’d listened to me.

Kaia: It’s cold up at the house.

Bo: I told you to stay at the house.

(He’s angry. She can tell by his tone. But then Bo Sinclair always seems to be angry.).

Bo: What have you been doing down here huh?

(Kaia opens her mouth to explain yet again that she just wanted to get warm when she realises that Bo isn’t talking to her. He’s looking at Vincent who has gotten up from his desk.).

Bo: Why didn’t you tell me she was down here huh? Thought you’d have her all to yourself didn’t yah? What have I told you? She’s mine. I do with her what I want. You don’t touch her you got that?

(Vincent nods once.).

Bo: Good.

(Bo then turns to her.).

Bo: You. Back up to the house. Now.

(He steps towards the tunnel then turns back.).

Bo: I said get back to the house now!

(He grabs Kaia by the hair and drags her to her feet. She looks at Vincent and mouths the words Help Me but he doesn’t move. He just watches as his brother drags her down the tunnel and into darkness.).

BEFORE:

(Whitney has stopped the RV and is looking around. The road is washed out and they can’t get through.).

Whitney: We either get out and walk or we turn around. What do you think?

Kaia: I think we should go back to the main road. Head to the next town.

Whitney: Oh come on. It’s not a proper adventure if you don’t get lost at least once.

Kaia: I don’t think I want an adventure.

Whitney: Stop worrying. We’re fine. Take a look at the map again.

Kaia: What for? I can’t make sense of it because I have no idea where we are. We could be anywhere on the map.

(Whitney laughs.).

Whitney: We know where we were so just find the road we took and follow it. See where we are now.

Kaia: Doesn’t the GPS know where we are?

Whitney: Nope. It’s got nothing.

(Kaia takes the map out and unfolds it. She tries to work out where they are but fails. She sighs.).

Kaia: I think you should just turn around and go back the way we came.

Whitney: But I wanted to find this Ambrose place. Take a look at that museum.

Kaia: Clearly there isn’t a town out here. This place is dead. It’s the middle of nowhere.

Whitney: So you get towns in the middle of nowhere.

Kaia: Yeah abandoned ones.

(Whitney shakes her head.).

Whitney: Why don’t we get out and stretch our legs. Have a cigarette.

Kaia: Why not?

(They get out of the RV and Whitney takes out a pack of smokes.).

Lester: Hey there!

(Kaia jumps and turns around. A man has appeared at the side of the road. He seemingly came out of nowhere. Kaia narrows her eyes and she takes a step back.).

Lester: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.

Whitney: It’s okay.

Lester: You guys camping?

Kaia: No.

Whitney: Um...We’re kinda on a road trip.

Lester: Oh I see.

Whitney: We may have gotten a little lost.

Kaia: We’re fine actually.

Whitney: Kaia come on. You said it yourself we’ve no idea where we are.

Kaia: Yeah. Don’t mean you tell him that.

Whitney: When did you get so paranoid?

(Kaia sighs.).

Lester: Well maybe I can help. Where you trying to get to?

Whitney: We were looking for a town called Ambrose. We saw the sign out on the road. We thought we’d check out the wax museum.

Kaia: You thought you would check out the museum.

(Lester smiles.).

Lester: Well you found the place alright.

Whitney: Um...We have?

Lester: Well sure. It’s just round that bend there.

Whitney: Oh, okay. Great.

Lester: I could walk with you if you like.

Kaia: We’re fine thanks.

Whitney: Kaia.

Kaia: What?

Whitney: Come on grab your bag and lets go.

(Kaia gets her handbag out of the RV and Whitney grabs her rucksack. She then locks the vehicle and turns back to Lester.).

Whitney: So uh you wanna walk with us?

Lester: Sure. I just need to go and get my truck. Gotta deer sitting out on the road. It’s blocking the way. Gotta go and move it.

Whitney: Oh. Right.

Kaia: I didn’t see any deer.

Lester: Well it’s out there.

Kaia: Did it get hit by a car do you think?

Lester: Something like that yeah.

(Lester grins at her. Kaia feels uneasy. They round the bend and Ambrose comes into view.).

Lester: My trucks parked just up here. I’ll see you ladies around.

Whitney: See you and thanks.

Lester: You’re welcome.

(Lester walks off and disappears behind a building.).

Whitney: What is wrong with you?

Kaia: I didn’t like that guy. He was seriously weird.

Whitney: I guess he kinda was. Never mind him come on let’s go check out that wax museum.

(Kaia follows Whitney up the deserted street.).

#House of Wax #Fanfiction #Fanfic #My Writing #Writing #Part three done #Vincent Sinclair #Bo Sinclair #Lester Sinclair #Whitney #Kaia #OC #original characters

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forlove2020 · 3 years

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Day 2 - No Vacancy

It is the last day of November and no one wants to buy any more pumpkins.

Halloween has gone by, and Thanksgiving has blown past too. The people of Lebanon, Kansas have had their fill of the bright orange gourds - for more than two months they've displayed them on their front porches, carved them into jack-o-lanterns, and added them into every kind of dessert and frothy little drink imaginable.

And that is why, on November 30th, Dean decides his family is going on a field trip to the Lebanon Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch.

Things have been good lately. No, scratch that. Life has been freakin' awesome. It has been just under two weeks since he rescued Cas from the Empty and a week since Jack came home. Dean is over the moon; radiating happiness in a way he never has before. They're all together, alive, and no Big Bad hovers menacingly on the horizon. Dean's not one to believe in a 'best case scenario,' but hell if this doesn't feel just like it.

The farm is about a twenty-five minute drive from the Bunker, and Dean, Cas, and Jack pull up in the Impala at the same time as Sam and Eileen arrive in Sam's CR-V.

(Dean had teased him mercilessly about his new ride until Sam looked him dead in the eye, placing his hand protectively on Eileen's protruding belly, and insisted "Honda gets really good safety ratings, Dean." Dean, wisely, had shut up after that.)

Claire and Kaia are already there waiting, leaning up against Claire’s car, hand in hand. Jack leaps out of Baby as soon as Dean puts her in park, barreling toward the girls so he can nag Claire about his latest obsession: TikTok. Even from a distance it’s clear she’s rolling her eyes at him, but smiling despite herself

Dean and Cas get out of the car at a more leisurely pace and survey their surroundings.

What had been a busy festival complete with a lush corn maze, vibrant pumpkin patch, and stalls selling kettle corn and caramel apples two months ago is now a dismal scene. The corn maze has dried out and shriveled up, and the stalls are unmanned. Technically, there are still pumpkins aplenty in the field, but they're the ones that have been forsaken. The remaining pumpkins are leftovers that were considered either too skinny, too fat, or just too misshapen and lumpy to have been picked as the cream-of-the-crop.

Dean looks over at Cas. He’s squinting at the scenery in the dim autumn sunlight, and the nippy breeze has swept through his dark hair, making it seem more tousled than usual. Not for the first time, Dean thinks that he is gorgeous.

But now, he can actually tell Cas what he is feeling in these moments. There are no more half-truths or lies between them, nothing secret. After years of pining for one another without any hope of reciprocation and hiding the pains of longing, they’ve finally broken down the walls that kept them apart. They love one another fiercely, and while their relationship is new, it is not tenuous.

So, Dean turns to him with a crooked grin. “Hey, handsome.”

Cas blinks, and then a little smile curls the corners of his mouth. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean moves closer until their shoulders are brushing and he can feel the warmth of Cas’ body through both of their jackets. “You think Jack’s gonna be disappointed?” he asks quietly, watching their kid practically tackle Sam with a hug as Eileen signs something Dean can’t quite make out from the other end of the parking lot. “I mean, this isn’t exactly the ‘autumn glory’ we were promised on those fliers earlier this month.”

Cas doesn’t even hesitate. “No. I think Jack just appreciates having a normal...uh, sort of a normal life again. He’s excited to be here picking pumpkins, especially with Claire and Kaia, and Sam and Eileen joining us. This was a nice surprise you planned for him, Dean.”

It’s a simple compliment, and not even particularly saccharine, but Dean flushes from head to toe anyway. He’s working on believing the good things Cas says about him; he’s really trying, but it’s always been difficult for him to take a compliment about anything other than his good looks or hunting prowess. Instead, he meets Cas’ eye, and nods silently. And then, remembering he is allowed, takes Cas’ hand in his own, twining their fingers together.

They walk hand-in-hand to join Claire, Kaia, Jack, Sam and Eileen at the front gate. It’s hanging wide open, and no one is standing there to charge them an entrance fee. However, the sign does make a point to state that the maze is open until December 1st. Eileen shrugs, and so the seven of them wander down the path towards the pumpkin patch and the entrance to the maze.

“Kaia! I’ll race you to the end!” Jack shouts, and laughing, Kaia chases him into the maze, dragging a grumbling Claire along behind her.

“Let’s see if we can find anybody still working,” Sam suggests.

Eileen points at a worn down farmhouse tucked mostly behind a newly-painted red barn. “Someone must be home,” she signs pointedly, gesturing to plumes of smoke exuding from a grey chimney stack.

Dean ends up knocking on the door. He leaves Sam, Eileen, and Cas at a nearby picnic table, debating in Sign Language about the best flavor of cotton candy and whether or not the color of the dye changes the taste.

A minute or two later, an older man swings open the squeaky screen door to the house. He’s scowling, wearing muddy overalls, and chewing on a thick cigar. “Yeah?” he asks shortly. “Whaddya want?”

Dean raises his eyebrows at the farmer’s bluntness, but manages to respond politely. “My family and I saw fliers for this place a few weeks ago. We were hoping to buy some pumpkins and candy apples. What are you charging”

The farmer’s scowl grows deeper, and he looks past Dean to Sam, Eileen, and Cas relaxing on the bench, then narrows his eyes at the corn maze, where shrieks of laughter can be heard as the younger adults chase one another through the thinning stalks.

Getting impatient, with the man’s surly silence, Dean prods, “And…? It’s a yes or no question. Are you still selling pumpkins?”

The old man pulls the cigar out from between his teeth. “My wife and daughter run this hokey shit,” he grunts. “They went into town today ‘cause folks already came through here earlier in the month. They like customers. We haven't had anybody else stop by since before Thanksgiving.”

As his temper flares, Dean turns his grit teeth into a sharp smile. “Well, then it’s your lucky day! Here we are,” he says mockingly, sweeping his arms wide. The farmer mumbles something insulting and covers it with a hacking cough. Dean pretends not to hear him, “Fine. I take it from your sunny attitude that there will be no popcorn or apples today?”

The man scoffs, “Enjoy the maze, boy-o. Free of charge.” He turns to lumber back inside, but Dean grabs the screen door before he can try to disappear.

“Hey!” the hunter barks. The farmer pauses, his body tensing for a fight. “Are you gonna sell me the goddamn pumpkins or not?”

Cas has wandered to his side, either noticing the commotion, or simply because he wanted to be closer to Dean. Now, he interrupts casually, “You still have quite a few squash left in the fields and there’s going to be heavy frost two days from now, overnight. It’d be a shame if all of these pumpkins rotted, and you wasted the rest of your harvest.”

He has, quite deftly, snared the salty old farmer’s attention. Money is the man’s language; he might not enjoy having customers on his property so late in the season, but he certainly likes having the funds to maintain his land.

****************************************

“A hundred.”

“A hundred?” Sam sounds insulted. “You’re gonna pitch all of these in a couple days. There’s no way we’re paying a hundred. Try twenty-five dollars.”

The farmer rolls his eyes dramatically. He is in his element; the thrill of making a good deal and bartering his wares on the last day is an unexpected but welcome surprise that has put him in high spirits. “You’re cute, kid. I know my produce is worth more than that. I’ll go down to eighty-five, and you can take whatever you can carry in one trip.”

“Thirty-five,” Sam shoots back.

“Eighty.”

“Forty-one.” Once, Sam was going to be a lawyer. He’s got the upper hand in this situation and he’s going to crush his opposition. One more price reduction and they’ll have dozens of pumpkins to take home, way below the original asking price.

“Sevent…”

“Sixty-five, and we fill up all of our cars,” Dean interrupts, and Sam looks at him, utterly betrayed as the gleeful farmer shakes on the deal.

As Cas, Jack, Claire, and Kaia help carry the pumpkins to Sam and Claire’s cars respectively, Dean just claps Sam on the shoulder and tells his brother, “It’s still a cheaper family outing than going to Disney.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam says mournfully, and sulks over to help Eileen, who is supervising the influx of pumpkins that are being loaded into their vehicle.

Dean chuckles, and scoops up a few pumpkins. He’s got some recipes he wants to try out, plus he’s excited to teach Jack to carve ‘Jack’-o-lanterns. The kid seemed to want to learn how to do everything the human way now, and Dean is more than happy to teach him.

One by one, Dean places eight pumpkins in the backseat of Baby. One is tall and oblong with lots of stringy stems, matched with the only short and well rounded pumpkin he sees in the field. Between those two he sets a teeny tiny baby-sized pumpkin. Then, there’s a pumpkin that is half-green half-orange. It seems like it must have grown too fast because it is still quite young despite its size. Next, he adds two medium pumpkins that are also young, but growing strong. And last but not least, he picks up two more pumpkins. They are both a bit damaged - one is bruised and discolored, the other looks like it might have grown sideways. But Dean picks them because they lean against one another in the field, steady despite their flaws, despite what they’ve been through.

He sets them all up in a long line along the backseat, and when Cas sees what he chose, his eyes go soft and warm as he looks at Dean.

“Let’s go home,” he breathes out, and takes Dean’s hand again.

Everyone gets in their cars - Dean in the driver's seat and Cas taking shotgun, as before. Jack tries to get in the Impala, then looks in the back window, and starts laughing.

“Dean! There’s nowhere for me to sit.”

Cas chuckles quietly beside him, as Dean grins. “Aw, tough break, kid. Guess you’re walking home.”

“Hey, no fair- Dean! C’mon! Cas! Tell Dean he has to -”

Dean starts to roll up the window, laughing loudly as Jack knocks on the window pane.

“Sorry! No vacancy!” he hollers. Jack is nearly doubled over, hilarity spilling from him in peals of laughter.

Claire honks her horn loudly, and throws open the back door to her car. Jack straightens, and scrambles to join her and Kaia, shooting Dean and Cas a bright wave goodbye.

Sam and Eileen also wave as they leave the parking lot, wheels sending gravel spinning in their wake. Claire and Kaia follow, and Jack rolls down the window as they pass, and calls across to Cas and Dean, “This was the best family trip ever!”

They too are soon gone, headed for the Bunker to drop off dozens of pumpkins which will decorate every room until they end up decaying or until Dean cooks them.

Dean and Cas wait until the others have left, and then Dean leans over and kisses Cas, long and sweet. When he pulls back, Cas traces his cheek, and says thoughtfully, “We could take the backroads home today….”

Dean is so gone on him. He kisses Cas once, twice more, and then puts the Impala in drive, and they’re on the road, taking the long way home.

**********************************

I enjoyed adding a little Day 1 ‘Harvest’ flare to Day 2!

My goal is to make most of my Suptober fics one-shots that are in some way related to my multichapter fix-it that is still a work in progress (Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, etc, post 15x20).

Thank you for reading!

-V

#suptober21 #Destiel #saileen #Jack Kline #claire novak #kaia nieves #found family #bunker family #team free will 2.0 #fix it fic #100000 destiel fics #post-15x20 #post finale #they all deserved to be happy #they all deserved so much better #othervorld writes

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hen-of-letters · 3 years

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@spnprideweek day one: flags

This little ficlet for #spnprideweek is brought to you by my big, non-binary bisexual love for this beautiful fandom, and my desire to fix that moment in 'Baby' when Cas indulges Dean by saying "werepire", but Dean doesn't hear him and Cas doesn't know. It ended up getting a bit long, so there's more under the cut or over on AO3. Thanks!

Dean's at Pride, and feeling a rising level of discomfort.

It's not the fact that he's wearing eyeliner in public for the first time in his forty-two years. Hell, he'd been wanting to do that ever since he was a kid, dreaming of being a rock star. The covers of music magazines in gas station racks had been windows on a world free from the brutally narrow definition of what his Dad meant when he told him to "be a man". Gradually, though, he'd learned what is gloriously apparent today under the hot June sun: that there are as many ways of being a man as there are men.

It's not because the sleeveless white t-shirt he's wearing is somewhat snug. (The heat had made him shed his pink, purple and blue plaid shirt - the one he'd worn today because Claire always called it his 'bi flannel' - and tie it around his waist.) He and Cas are both wearing a little of their contentment on their waistlines these days, and he believes Cas when he says that he adores his body because he means it when he says the same to Cas.

It's not the big, heart-shaped sticker slapped on his chest, which is striped in the colours of the bisexual pride flag in a way that's much less subtle than the flannel. Dean's always known that he wasn't only into chicks, but putting a name to it is new. Dean's had jobs and Dean's had roles, but having an identity had always seemed like a luxury well beyond Dean's means. Now he's not constantly running for his life, though, he has the breathing room to figure himself out. And he's good with this part of himself. More than good.

It's not the two flags that are padding the pockets of his jeans. One, he'd bought for Cas: it's striped in pale pink, pale blue and white. Earlier, he'd gone with Cas when he'd met up with some friends he'd met online (having managed to get past all the cats this time). The ex-angel had found that discussing their experiences of being trans had helped him feel happy in the body that had become his own. Dean could only feel immense gratitude for the way Cas' face had lit up afterwards when he'd talked about how he was creating himself, becoming himself, and embracing the human condition of change.

Dean hopes that the gift of the trans pride flag will show Cas that Dean understands and loves him, and the same is true for the other flag, which he'd picked up for Jack. It's yellow, white, purple and black. Dean had had to do a little research when Jack had used the term non-binary - it's amazing how the world can move on while you're living in an underground bunker. He'd kept on researching, too, after he'd learned the basics. Maybe he was still figuring himself out. Maybe there was more to discover about himself, and wasn't that fantastic?

Jack is wandering around somewhere with Claire and Kaia. Jody and Donna are here, too, with Alex and Patience. Adam and Michael have probably partied their way through fifty international pride parades by now, but they should be meeting up with everyone else later. Sam and Eileen are not far away. Eileen was the one who's slapped the bi pride sticker on Dean's chest - with unnecessary force, if you asked Dean. She'd grinned at him, showed off the identical sticker on her own chest, and said, with a suitably cheesy wink, "we need to stick together". He remembered the moment he'd nervously asked her the sign for 'bisexual', and when she'd shown him - the letter signs for 'b' and 'i' - she'd added, "me too," and Dean had scooped her up into a crushing hug.His love for his family is endless, and them all being here is definitely not why he's uncomfortable.

And it's not the body glitter freckling his cheeks and his shoulders with gold, although his feelings might change by the time he tries to remove it tonight. He'd been gilded with it when he'd been dancing up a storm with a group of drag queens. They'd admired his eyeliner - a deep brown shot through with gold along his upper lashes - but winked and said it was "a little subtle for Pride". As soon as Dean had seen the tube of glitter, he'd yelled "hell yes!" and even managed to hold still long enough to be coated in the stuff before moving his body to the beat again. Although he's sure his feet will be aching later, so far his favourite cowboy boots are not the source of his discomfort.

It's not the bright pink feather boa, either, which he'd acquired from the same source as the glitter, when he'd been sent off with a kiss to the cheek and the words "be bold, honey!" He'd expected the boa to tickle or irritate, but for some bizarre reason the sensation of feathers around his shoulders and the back of his neck feels incredibly comforting and reassuring. He feels warm and safe and oh. Oh.

As that particular realisation sweeps over him, Dean tightens his hold on Cas. He's standing behind him with his right hand on Cas' hip, and his left arm is up over his shoulder and wrapped around his chest. His hand is splayed out, at once putting his silver wedding band on display and somehow attempting to conceal Cas from the eyes of his many admirers (and, well, good luck with that. Cas is incredibly beefy these days).

Which brings us to the source of Dean's discomfort; to the thing that's deepening the furrow in his brow and the dimples beside his pursed lips: namely, the sheer number of guys hitting on Cas.

It's not like Dean can blame them. Cas' muscular frame is wrapped in black jeans and a tight black t-shirt bearing the Led Zeppelin 1975 tour logo. The short sleeves show off the floral tattoos trailing down his left arm. Cas is wearing a rainbow-coloured enamel belt buckle and, because he's determined to be the death of Dean, black cowboy boots. Before they'd left, Dean hadn't been able to resist grabbing a black kohl pencil and smudging a little along Cas' upper and lower lashes. And, okay, maybe Cas' wide-eyed bewilderment every time he's flirted with is vaguely amusing. But when Dean is right here? Not cool.

Right on cue, here's another one. From over his husband's shoulder, Dean levels his very best glare at the guy. It's a look that can stop a demon dead in its tracks. A vampire would tremble. A werewolf would wet itself. But one young gay guy with a few drinks in him? Totally unaffected. Like the others, he's all smiles and understanding when Cas politely, if awkwardly, waves him away. (Literally. With a final dorky little wave goodbye.)

Dean realises that he's moved his right arm around Cas' waist, so now Dean is wrapped around Cas like some kind of koala/octopus hybrid. An octoala? A koctopus? Definitely koctopus. Heh.

Dean snorts at the thought, which is somewhat unfortunate, given that his face is right next to Cas' ear. Cas flinches and turns his head around to fix him in a squinty glare.

"Koctopus?" Dean says, apologetically.

Cas narrows his eyes further and tilts his head to the side.

"Um, the way I was wrapped around you. I was like a cross between a koala and an octopus."

Dean nudges Cas. "So what does that make me? C'mon, you know you wanna say it."

Cas just tilts his head a bit further to the side, either in confusion or outright despair. Dean has untangled himself from Cas and stepped back, and looks down at the ground, suddenly self-conscious.

Dean feels Cas' hand on his shoulder, and then it smooths over his back, finding the back of his neck underneath the boa. Whatever his shape, Cas' touch has the exact same effect on Dean. He looks up into the impossibly blue eyes of his husband.

"You're a very glittery," Cas begins, softly, "and very beautiful," one corner of his mouth lifts, and then he purses his lips together, trying to hold back the smile, "koctopus."

The corners of his eyes are crinkled. He's not amused by the joke, Dean knows, just absurdly pleased to be saying something he knows will make Dean happy. Of course Dean knows that Cas loves him, knows the whole cosmic-realm-crossing magnitude of it, but in little moments like this, he's floored by it. Dean can't help his sudden exhale or the massive grin that breaks across his face. He wraps his husband up in hug that they hold for a good long moment, before Dean leans back to kiss Cas.

No one had ever explained to Dean how difficult it is to kiss someone when you can't stop smiling. He'd never had that problem before Cas, but now it's practically a daily occurrence. It's a menace because kissing Cas is one of Dean's favourite pastimes. Now, they trade little pecks between wide, toothy grins, until passion takes over and the kisses become heavier.

It takes someone wolf-whistling for them to part, and then they're back to grinning and staring into each others' eyes, until Dean spots something on Cas' face. And something else. And something else. In fact, there's something all over Cas, and that something is gold glitter. It's on his face, his hands, his Zeppelin shirt, and even in his hair. Dean runs his fingers through the unruly curls - Cas has been wearing his hair longer lately - in an attempt to shake it out, but only deposits more glitter into Cas' locks.

"Oops," Dean says, "I kinda glitter bombed you there. It's all over your shirt, too. Sorry, Sunshine."

He doesn't sound terribly sorry.

"This is your shirt, Dean."

"Aw, man."

He does sound a little sorry now, but his future laundry woes are forgotten when Cas presses another kiss to his pouting lips. They're forgotten again when something across the crowd catches Dean's eye.

"Oooh," Dean exclaims as he drags Cas towards the stall he's spotted.

It's selling cowboy hats in every configuration of colour imaginable, and Dean is practically jumping on the spot excitement. Cas looks his husband up and down, slowly.

"You think your outfit's lacking accessories?" he deadpans.

"Yup," is Dean's gleeful reply, "and so's yours."

Cas' groan is lost to the noise of the crowd and the beat of the music, so no-one will ever know if it was one of protest or defeat. He does, in fact, end up wearing a black cowboy hat with a rainbow band, so if it was protest then it was highly ineffective. Dean's has a pink crown, purple band and blue brim, and he's carrying another black one with a band in the non-binary flag colours for Jack. Cas admits that Jack's going to love it.

"Damn, this is awesome," Dean says as they head back to meet up with the rest of their family.

Walking hand in hand with Cas, Dean's thoughts wander. Dean could kick his younger self for every time he'd called someone gay or a girl as a way of saying they were weak. Because all he can see in the people around him is strength. He grins again, giddy with the atmosphere of defiant joy. All around him is everything he'd spent his life fighting to protect: freedom, family, and love. Holding his husband's hand a little tighter, he's grateful that in the end he gets to have both: freedom and peace.

#sorry to be late posting this - I was poorly but then I'm also naturally blessed with the writing speed of a sloth #thank you so much for hosting this event #spnprideweek #spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #dean is bi #trans castiel #non-binary Jack Kline #my fic #happy pride 🌈

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goodluckbabe2024 · 3 years

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y’all im looking for 2 spn posts: one of them talks about how the winchesters are effectively police who are protecting white suburbia—it went pretty in detail and i remember it being a fairly large paragraph—and the other was a long post explaining why kaia's character is horrible indigenous representation, especially with how the show treated dream walking

i’m trying to write an essay on supernatural because cringe is dead and i keep looking for them and just can’t find them. PLEASE shoot me a link if you see them

#please reblog i’m a lil desperate #clown posting #acorn

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apocalypseornaw · 3 years

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Open My Eyes

Apocalyptic AU.

Dean gets increasingly jealous of your bond with Gadreel and things come to a head after a misunderstanding on a run

Dean had known you for years. Long before the dead started to rise and the world as it was previously known came crashing down. He knew you inside and out, you were one of his best friends. Maybe that was why it was bothering him so deeply to see you get closer with someone who was fairly new to your group. Gadreel had come in with the Banes twins. They’d gone through Bobby’s usual line of questions without missing a beat and had fit in smoothly enough with everyone else. That had been nearly six months ago which was a lifetime nowadays.

He tried to get you out of his head as he walked across the field that stretched between the outer fence and inner fence of the compound all of you now called home. It’d started life as a high school but with some hard work and a lot of blood, sweat and tears it was now a suitable place to survive the new world. Unfortunately before he could reach the sanctuary of the building where Bobby, Sam and Jody were waiting to talk about the new run that needed to happen he heard the all too familiar sound of your laugh.

He turned and found a small smile working its way onto his face when he saw you walking with Alicia and Max. You had your arm around Alicia’s shoulder and was laughing at something Max had said. He started to call your name but before he could he heard it called from a different direction and felt his mood immediately sour when you pulled your arm from Alicia to greet Gadreel as he made it to the three of you. He watched you pull the other man down to whisper something in his ear and felt anger flick at his mind. Especially when Gadreel laughed then whispered something back to you. Dean spun on his heel, he didn’t need to see any more.

------

The door to the meeting room slammed open but luckily for the three people sitting around the table it took a lot more than that to rattle their nerves. Bobby barely glanced up from the map “Nice of you to join us Dean now how about leaving the damn door on the hinges?”

Sam watched his brother drag a chair out and flop down into it. He wanted to ask what was wrong but knew that they needed to get this meeting through and that Dean was prone to shut down if asked directly what was wrong. He always did better with letting it slip through cursing whatever had soured his mood.

“From what we can figure there’s a couple veterinarian clinics along the route as well and considering the fact that people medicine isn’t actually any different than animal medicine they may have supplies there and it wouldn’t hurt to check” Jody spoke tapping a few different places on the map. Bobby nodded then cut his eyes at Dean “You and Sam up to taking a team and checking it out? We need the supplies to winterize this place once and for all, not to mention having extra medical supplies on hand wouldn’t hurt”

“Yeah we can handle it Bobby” Dean promised although it was apparent his mind was still not focused on the meeting. “All in all it’ll probably take about a week or so considering the ground you’ll have to cover so I’d pick a good team. Take Y/N with you too she hangs out with Alex and Kaia enough she can spot anything that has medicinal usage from a mile away” Jody added with a wink to Bobby before pushing away from the table to head out. She’d be gathering supplies for whatever team was picked and wanted to get it together.

Bobby watched her leave then turned back to his surrogate sons. “So I was thinking Y/N, Alicia, Max, Gadreel and Charlie would be a decent team to take. Ain’t like any of those girls can’t handle their own in a fight. Max can get through any tight spot and Gadreel is strong as a horse” Dean scoffed at that which earned him a look from Bobby “You got an issue with any of that son?”

Dean shook his head “Nope” then pushed his chair back “I’m going to gather my gear, you two can make sure everyone is up to the run” with that he walked out leaving Bobby to throw a questioning look at Sam who simply shrugged “I don’t really know what that’s about either” “Make sure he keeps a clear head. There’s a lot of dangers out there and not just the biters got it?” Sam nodded “Yes sir”

------

You were helping Jody to gather supplies for the upcoming run after she’d come out of the meeting with Bobby, Dean and Sam. “Do you know anything that could be bothering Dean?” She asked, holding out a pack of dried meat. You took it and shook your head “Not that I know of but I could always just ask him?”

She shrugged “No he’ll tell you or Sam if whatever it is gets to bothering him too much” You would hope so anyways. You always went to Dean if anything was bothering you. He’d offer advice if that’s what you were after or simply offer comfort or a place to vent. “I’m gonna grab my jacket and go bag from my room then I’ll meet everyone by the front gate” she nodded to let you know she’d heard you so you turned to head towards the living quarters.

The halls that had been transformed to be mini dorm rooms were actually quite comfortable considering. You considered yourself lucky that you’d been close with a lot of your group before that fateful day that a widespread virus was alerted in the news. You could still remember Sam’s phone call to you “Pack just what you need. Dean will be pulling up at your place any time”

You’d hastily thrown clothes and the contents of your medicine cabinet in a bag. Before you were through grabbing what you deemed necessary you heard a heavy knock on your door followed by Dean’s voice “Come on sweetheart! We gotta go!” When you opened the door your eyes widened when Dean shoved a gun into your hand. “Dean, what’s going on?” you asked and he took a deep breath “Long story short? The dead are rising. True,blue zombies. We gotta go cause shit is hitting the fan fast”

You gripped the gun noticing the one in his own hand and nodded “Lead the way Winchester. You know I trust you”

------

You shook yourself out of thoughts of the past. You needed to focus on this run completely. You grabbed your go bag from the floor checking what ammo you had and slipping a machete at your side. You glanced at your bat leaned next to the bed but decided against it. It was better the few times you’d go out solo or with just one other person. From what Jody had said there was a full team going after the winterizing supplies.

You slipped your jacket on then slid the strap of your bag across your chest. You walked back towards the doors that led outside. The electricity that the compound ran off of came from a mixture of solar panels and generators. The good part? Bobby knew enough to be able to brew enough corn liquor that the generators had fuel for years.

The only downside was that meant the few vehicles you had could only be used in moderation. Short runs horses were used for but considering this one would take about a week and would be gathering supplies for all the black panel van that was used for such runs was parked by the front gate awaiting those going.

You walked towards the gate and smiled when you spotted Dean standing with Bobby and Sam at the front of the van. They were clearly going over the mapped out areas one more time but you knew neither of them would mind you inserting yourself into the conversation. Since Dean’s back was to you and Sam noticed you first so you raised one finger to your lips. He quickly turned his attention back to the conversation so you wouldn’t be noticed.

You quietly took a few steps forward and slid your arms around Dean’s waist and leaned your head on his shoulder even if that meant you had to stand on your tip toes and still barely reach “So where are we going?” you could see the corners of his mouth tick up and knew he was fighting a smile “We’re going to a few different places sweetheart. You wanna hang off me like a spider monkey or you want to actually look at the map?” you feigned a pout “Why can’t I hang off you like a spider monkey and look at the map?” he rolled his eyes with a laugh “Get down”

You pulled your head down from his shoulder and moved your arms from around his waist to step slightly in front of him and look at the map Bobby had laid across the hood. Sam went over the stops with you, highlighting the couple where you’d be taking the lead since you knew more about what was needed for medicinal purposes. “Sounds good to me. Who’s the rest of the crew?” you could’ve sworn you saw a look be passed among the three of them before Bobby said “Alicia, Charlie, Max and Gadreel” you nodded approvingly at the choices “All good picks”

You heard a sharp whistle and turned to see Charlie walking towards the four of you trailed by the rest of the crew. “What’s up bitches? We ready to ride?” “Of course dear” You replied meeting her halfway.

------

Dean watched as you greeted the rest of the crew going on the run. Charlie was like a sister to him, Alicia and Max were cool but spending the next week in close quarters with you and Gadreel? Yeah he may look for some biters just to have an excuse to kill something.

“Alright! Everyone load up!” he barked out and you cut your eyes up at him “Depends, can I have shotgun for the first few miles at least?” He barely glanced at Gadreel before saying “Of course sweetheart” . You shot him a wink then walked around to the passenger side of the van along with everyone else who was climbing into the back.

Sam didn’t miss the look Dean threw at Gadreel or the way his brother had bristled anytime over the last few weeks when he’d see you with the other man. Was that what the attitude was about before the meeting? Was Dean jealous? He chose not to say anything for now and instead simply walked around to sit next to Gadreel on the middle seat since Charlie had taken up the backseat along with the twins.

------

Your destination was two states over. It was a contraction warehouse that had fallen early. Bobby kept an eye on the amount of biters in it versus the prospects of anyone actually getting inside.

Considering the zombies had lightened up in that area and everything needed to finish winterizing the compound and green houses could be found there it was worth the risk to go. That way you'd have running water and fresh food no matter how severe the coming winter got.

You were curled up with your feet under you watching the road whip by as Dean drove. You had a shoebox full of cassette tapes in your lap looking over them to see if any peaked your interest. You plucked one out of the box and stuck it into the player simply to see Dean's reaction when it started playing.

When the first few notes of It's My Life started playing he cut his eyes at you "Bon Jovi really?" You grinned "Hey Bon Jovi rocks...on occasion" then started singing along and couldn't help but laugh when Sam, Charlie and Max joined in.

No matter the music or the company Dean couldn't fight the smile that worked its way onto his face. You had shifted to have your legs out in front of you and were now drumming on the dash along with the music and had everyone in the van either singing or laughing along. Why had he never realized how amazing you were before? Why had it literally taken an apocalypse to open his eyes?

He watched you turn in your seat and bump Gadreel's leg as You Give Love a Bad Name started and felt that same flicker of anger. Maybe he'd waited too long to see what had been in front of him for years, maybe Gadreel had realized it a lot sooner.

The first day on the road was pretty uneventful. There were no stops to be made marked on the map so it was filled with just driving besides stopping for everyone to find a tree.

Considering the route was figured to be about three days there and three back (giving plenty of leadway for any issues that might arise) you asked Dean once the sun started going down if he was ready to pull over somewhere for the night or if he wanted you or Sam to take over driving.

He glanced in the mirror at Sam "What do you say Sammy? Wanna take the wheel for a while?" "Sure" Sam agreed so Dean stopped dead in the center of the road..not like there was a lot of traffic.

"Well I'm gonna climb in the back and get a little sleep" you announced after realizing Charlie, Max and Alicia were all knocked out. "Yeah Gadreel you wanna hop up here man? I'm pretty wiped too" Dean suggested and Gadreel replied "Sure. I already caught my few hours"

Gadreel held the side door open so you slid under his arm with a smile "Thanks '' he smiled in return. When Dean walked around he grabbed the door "I got it. Thanks" Gadreel simply nodded and climbed into the passenger seat.

You were already slid in next to the window when Dean climbed in next to you. You waited until Sam had started driving to turn so you could curl up next to Dean. He looked down at you with a raised eyebrow "What are you doing?" You grinned "Sleeping. Now hush and be a good pillow" instead of pulling away like you half expected he raised his arm slightly to pull you closer to him "I'll be a good pillow if you be a good pillow" you smiled when you felt him lean his head over on you and whispered "Deal"

"Look alive. This is the first of two vet clinics we gotta hit on this trip" Dean spoke as he pulled the van to a stop and glanced around. "Seven people so I'm thinking three teams of two and leave one person behind the wheel in case we need a fast exit?" You suggested and he winked at you "Just what I was thinking"

You slid your gun into the holster on your thigh but grabbed the machete from your floorboard as first line of defense. Guns were loud and the last thing you wanted was a herd of amped up zombies descending on the group before you could even go through the clinic. You turned and looked at everyone then nodded to yourself “Ok so Charlie you up for setting this one out?” She shrugged “Sure but I get to help clear the next one”

You shot her a smile then said “Ok Max and Alicia, Dean and Sam then Gadreel you’re with me..everyone good with that?” Everyone nodded but Dean who just walked to the back of the van to grab the canvas bags out without so much as a look in your direction. You raised an eyebrow to Sam who shrugged so you followed behind Dean keeping an eye out to make sure all of the commotion hadn’t attracted any undue attention.

You stood slightly behind him hearing him mumble to himself before he turned around and realized you were standing there “Son of a bitch Y/N. Make some noise sweetheart, the point is to not blend in with the dead” you grinned playfully “Is that your way of asking me to bite you?” he rolled his eyes but you could see just the barest hint of a smirk trying to work its way onto his face “Just be careful in there. Sure you trust him to have your back?”

You cut your eyes over to your group where they were all watching the woods line that bordered the back parking lot of the clinic “Yeah, I’ll be ok. Not gonna lie I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone to have my back the way I trust you or well Sam but Gadreel has proved he’s good in a tight spot”

He nodded and for a second you thought he was going to say something else but he simply held out one of the bags “Remember get in, get out” you took the bag with a small smile “Aye aye” then walked back over to the group.

Dean watched you walk over to Gadreel. You said you’d never trust anyone the way you trusted him..that meant a lot didn’t it? He shook his head then walked over himself to pass Max then Sam a bag before nodding at Charlie “We’ll be out in five”

------

The clinic had three entrances. One to the side of the building, one to the back and one to the front. You and Gadreel took the back entrance, the twins took the side leaving the front to Sam and Dean.

You touched the handle of the door then looked at Gadreel “You want me to pull and you be ready or vice versa?” “Ladies choice” he replied with a laugh. You nodded then motioned to the door “In that case you pull and I’ll be ready”

He got into position but waited until you gave him a nod to open the door. You hoisted your machete but no noise came. You leaned inside and stomped your foot a few times “Hello? Anyone home?” You cut your eyes at him and he shrugged. “Maybe no one ended up here?” “We can only hope” you replied before walking further inside.

You could hear the rest of your crew checking but it appeared the clinic was well and truly empty. You picked a room and waved to Gadreel to follow you. The moment you stepped into the room you pulled your flashlight out of the pocket of your jacket and saw that from the looks of it you’d picked the operating room.

You motioned to the wall of shelves in front of you “I hate to ask but do you think you can give me a lift to the top one so I can see what’s up there?” He laughed lightly and you could feel the short jokes coming but instead he simply pointed to the machete in your hand “Lay that down so I don’t accidentally get stabbed and I’d be glad to” you laid the machete down on the silver table that was in the middle of the room then turned back to Gadreel “Better?” he nodded “Turn around so I can give you a boost then I’ll keep one hand on your back to steady you” you turned towards the shelves like he said and felt his hands around your waist a second before he lifted you into the air.

You climbed onto the highest shelf that normally would take a step ladder to reach then smiled over your shoulder at him “Thank you.Now get ready so if I find something good”

------

Dean and Sam had cleared three different cabinets. They’d found a good amount of first aid supplies ranging from suture kits to wound cleansers. “I’m gonna check on Alicia and Max” Sam said so Dean replied “I’ll check on Y/N and Gadreel”

Sam headed towards the back of the clinic where the twins were so Dean headed towards the operating room where you and Gadreel had gone into. He could hear you laughing right before he opened the door to see Gadreel putting you back down on your feet, his hands were still on your hips and you were smiling up at him with your hands against his chest.

Dean felt that same flicker of anger but this time it was mixed with more emotions than just that. He almost felt sick with just how angry he felt, not to mention the hurt. You weren’t even kissing Gadreel but he felt as if he’d walked in on a lot more intimate moment than he had. Luckily he was able to reel it in and sounded emotionless when he waved a hand towards the two of you “Didn’t know I was interrupting something. Times up, we gotta go so whatever you two are doing, stick a damn pin in it or something” then turned and walked out without saying a word.

------

Gadreel watched Dean walk out then looked back at you “What was that about? I was just helping you down..he doesn’t think we..?” you weren’t sure what to say. To anyone else Dean would’ve sounded almost bored but you knew him well enough to know when he was blocking emotions. You weren’t sure what was going on but when Dean sounded emotionless were the times that his mind was being his worst enemy “I have no clue honestly Gadreel. Don’t worry about it though, I’ll handle it” “I’d never disrespect you or any woman for that matter. I mean well don’t get me wrong you’re a beautiful woman but I thought..” he trailed off and looked again at the door when Dean had disappeared out of then shook his head “Just know if I did anything wrong I apologize” “You didn’t Gadreel. Don’t worry Dean just gets a little antsy on runs” you explained with a strained smile.

By the time you and Gadreel made it to the parking lot everyone had loaded their bags and only Sam stood outside the van. He took the bag from Gadreel then glanced at you, You followed him to the back of the van and watched as he added your bag to the bunch. After he shut the door he turned around and leaned close to you. “What happened in there?” You groaned slightly “He didn’t make a scene did he?” he shook his head “No but I know him like you know him. Now what happened?” You took a breath running your hand down your face “I think he got the wrong idea when he saw Gadreel with his hands on me. He was helping me down off a tall shelf that was it Sam I swear! You know me I wouldn’t do anything on a run and honestly? Yeah Gadreel is a good looking guy I have eyes but that doesn’t mean I’d screw him on a run for fuck’s sake we both have sleeping quarters back at the compound..I don’t know why Dean acted like that! Nice to know one of my closest friends thinks so highly of me that he thinks I’d risk anyone's life to fool around on a run”

You were starting to move past confused onto anger the more you spoke and Sam knew that so he reached out and squeezed your shoulder “Breathe, ride in the backseat with Charlie and Alicia. I’m gonna ride up front with him and Max is riding in the middle seat. I’ll try to talk to him ok?” you nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment because you were highly conflicted.

Finally you managed “Ok” then walked back around the van to climb into the backseat with Alicia and Charlie. Charlie raised an eyebrow at you not riding upfront with Dean but welcomed you into the conversation she and Alicia were having.

The third day on the road meant clearing the second vet clinic. You were going through a list of top things to look for with Alicia. All of you had stopped a few miles from the clinic to clear the road of an overturned tree. You and her were keeping an eye out for any dead that may be attracted to the noises. So far you both had killed one a piece.

“All clear ladies!” Charlie called out so you both headed back to the van. You wanted nothing more than to ask Dean why he’d acted like he had but refused to start an argument in the middle of a run. You’d push it down until all of you got safely back to the compound then you’d confront him about it.

You climbed into the backseat silently sliding between Alicia and Max. You didn’t really want to spare a word for anyone but since Bobby had been clear the clinics were more your wheelhouse everyone was looking at you as to what to grab for human use and what could be left behind.

You finally spoke as Dean was pulling into the overgrown parking lot of the clinic “I’ve went over the list with Alicia and Sam so they both know what to look for” Dean knew you were talking to him in particular and barely cut his eyes at you in the mirror before saying “I’m staying behind the wheel this time. Charlie can go in with Sam” you nodded more to yourself than in response to him. Why was he being so damn infuriating? If he’d just talk to you then...well what exactly would you say?

You climbed out and once your feet hit the dirt you turned to Gadreel “Ready?” he nodded so you looked around to everyone for their acknowledgement that they were all set.You shot one final look at Dean before falling Gadreel across the lot.

------

“Son of a bitch that damn thing came out of nowhere” you cursed kicking the now permanently dead zombie at your feet. Gadreel pulled a bandana from his pocket and held it out “You’ve got some blood smeared across your cheek” you wiped at it and gave him a small albeit appreciative smile “Thanks and again I’m sorry about how Dean acted” he shrugged “It’s ok really. It’s understandable”

You laughed harshly “Accusing us of screwing around literally on a run? That’s understandable? You’re a little too zen” he looked at you for a moment as if there was a second meaning to what he’d said but if there was you couldn’t quite grasp it. He shook his head after a moment then held a hand out “I’ll carry the bag”

------

Dean was watching the door of the clinic closely. Max and Alicia were the first duo out followed by Sam and Charlie. You and Gadreel bought up the rear.

He tried to bite his tongue but when you started to climb in considering you were the first one in the van he couldn’t stop the words before they came out “You and Gadreel didn’t get into anymore tight spots did you?” He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth but it was too late to pull them back then. He could see the shock in your eyes when you froze halfway into the back seat and slowly turned to look at him the shock quickly turning to anger “Believe me Dean if I was to fuck Gadreel I’d wait until I had longer than a few minutes to try him out” before either of you could say anything else Sam opened the front door and Charlie stepped up to climb in behind you.

Dean was still staring at you in the mirror when he heard Alicia ask if you were ok since you were balling up what looked like a bandana in your hands. “Yeah just took out a biter so Gadreel gave it to me to clean the blood off”

------

You purposely turned to stare out the window and cursed the moment you’d agreed to come on this run. You wouldn’t cry. Hell you couldn’t afford the luxury of hurt feelings these days but knowing that didn’t exactly take the sting out of Dean’s words. You looked down at your hands as you tied Gadreel’s bandana into a loose knot then untied it and repeated the process. You just had to get this run over then you could distance yourself from Dean. You’d said the first thing that had came to mind that would hopefully hurt him the same way his words had hurt you..what had exactly become of yours and Dean’s friendship over the last few months?

Day four meant the last leg of the run before the turn around to head home to the compound. You hadn’t spoken a word to Dean and hadn’t really spoken to anyone without them saying something to you first. Dean hated that his jealousy because whether he liked it not he was jealous he hated that he’d let it put a wedge between you and him,

He had no idea what he could do to even slightly make it up to you. He spotted the turn off for the construction warehouse so he cleared his throat “Charlie you wanna be a wheelman again?” she glanced up from her spot next to you and nodded “Sure!” “Then we’ll do two teams of three that good with everyone?” he was hoping you’d say something but instead of what he wanted you to say you looked up “I’ll be on the team with Alicia and Max. I have the list you said we needed. I’ll tear it in half and hand Gadreel the other half. You, him and Sam can find that stuff”

Dean didn’t attempt to argue with you and only nodded instead “Sounds like a plan” Sam cut his eyes at his brother not really being used to him being ok with someone else calling the shots but it was you after all. “You good?” he asked quietly and Dean replied “Yeah” then pulled into the parking lot of the construction warehouse.

------

You were out of the van the moment it stopped rolling. There were two zombies shambling around the lot and you took them out in tandem. You turned to look at everyone as they climbed out of the van and managed to crack a smile when Charlie teased “My oh my someone woke up on the wrong side of the apocalypse” you shrugged “Hey beats any other stress release there was pre-z”

A small chorus of laughter went through everyone and you were glad for that. You didn’t want whatever was happening between you and Dean to affect everyone else. You winked at Alicia “Grab your brother and lets go shopping” she laughed and grabbed Max by the arm then motioned to you “Lead the way”

------

Sam could practically feel the tension in the air between Dean and Gadreel. He had thought for a while Dean’s feelings for you went deeper than friendship but it hadn’t been as blaringly apparent until Gadreel came into the picture. He was a good guy, he got along well with everyone in the compound. He respected that the women helped keep everything going and always managed to pull a smile to your face over some small joke. Dean was threatened by him because up to this point there hadn’t been any other guy that garnered any of your attention away from Dean not one anyone that you would be a possible match with.

The three of them were working in silence quickly gathering what was on their half of the list. Sam was personally just hoping no fight broke out that he’d had to break up. He noticed that Dean kept cutting his eyes at Gadreel and said a prayer under his breath that just for once Dean would let it go.

He had no such luck because although Dean didn’t say anything Gadreel cleared his throat “Dean” Dean raised his eyebrows in response to the other man “Yeah?” “Just so you know nothing happened between me and Y/N. She’s a beautiful, amazing woman but...”

Dean cut Gadreel off before he could finish speaking with a shake of his head “I was in the wrong man...to snap at either of you. You’re both grown, what you do is your business and I trust the fact that neither of you would do anything on a run to risk your lives or anyone else's”

Sam watched the both of them for a moment trying to decipher if they were actually trying to get along or mutually waving the white flag for your benefit but the moment was broken by Alicia’s scream of your name. No words had to be passed amongst the three men; they all started running towards the sound.

------

You were following behind Alicia and Max trying to keep an eye out for the last couple items on your half of the list. You glanced up at a shelf that ran nearly up to the high ceiling of the warehouse and decided to check it out. Max stopped when he saw you looking and offered “Want a hand getting up there?” you shook your head with a slight smirk “Naw I think I can handle it but stay close just in case”

You made it to the halfway point and had even grabbed a few things you knew were needed when you went to step on a board and felt it crack under you. One minute you were standing the next you felt yourself falling and only barely managed to hold onto the backpack you had been storing supplies in.

You hit hard behind the shelf and heard a low growl.You pushed yourself to sit up and saw three biters shuffling towards you “Son of a bitch” you groaned trying to get to your feet. You went to push yourself up but felt a gush of blood from your left arm so you used your right to get to your feet just barely avoiding the chomping teeth of the zombie that was bearing down on you. You could hear Alicia scream your name but couldn’t spare a response. You had to show attention to the threat in front of you. You slammed your machete into the skull of the first one in front of you and cursed again when you realized that while you’d killed it your blade was stuck. You reached for the knife at your side knowing it was your only chance. You kicked the second one square in the stomach knocking it back long enough you could stab the last one in the eye.

You pulled your knife free and felt the one you’d kicked grab your jacket. You struggled to get out of it before the zombie sank it’s rotting teeth into the material. You slammed your knife into it’s skull then leaned heavily against the wall. The shelf slid away to show you an exit route. You ran towards the sunlight now streaming in and saw that Dean, Sam, Gadreel, Max and Alicia had all worked to get the shelf pulled out.

The moment Alicia saw you she looked at the guys “Turn around let me help her check herself out” the men all quickly obliged so you let her pull your shirt up and check across your back,stomach and both arms to assure you hadn’t been bit. “Didn’t you find a few suture kits at the last clinic?” She asked and you nodded then spoke loud enough the guys could hear “All clear boys. You can look now”

Dean’s eyes were glued to your left arm where the sleeve of your grey shirt was soaked with blood “Please tell me that’s a cut sweetheart” you smiled slightly “Bastard tried to bite me but only got my jacket” “Thank god” he breathed. You simply nodded and looked around “Did we get everything we need cause I’d really like to go home to the compound now. It’s been a long week” Sam laughed lightly and nodded “Yeah we got it all but first someone has to help stitch you up before we roll out”

------

Charlie had been nominated to help you stitch up your arm so you were sitting in the back of the van while she worked. Everyone else was keeping an eye out to ensure no more biters made their presence known. “So are we gonna talk about some of the weirdness?” You raised an eyebrow which made her nod in response whether at you or at herself “Ok then guess not” she tied off the last stitch and snipped it “I don’t have to tell you to keep it clean” you slid your shirt back on fully and gave her a small smile “I know aftercare instructions ma’am”

------

Dean watched you in the rearview mirror as he drove. You’d fallen asleep in the jacket Gadreel had given you to wear considering yours had been turned into a zombie chew toy. He couldn’t find it in himself to be angry that you were leaning against Gadreel asleep. He’d nearly lost you. Nothing else mattered. Why had he acted like he had towards you? Why couldn’t he just tell you he had feelings for you? Why hadn’t he realized it before Gadreel joined the compound? He let out a breath which made Sam look his way. “You good?” He nodded “Yeah be even better when we get home”

A few days had passed since all of you had made it back to the compound. You had barely spoken to Dean since getting back. You were still conflicted about the way he’d acted on the run.You were walking through one of the greenhouses checking the medicinal plants. You could hear someone walking behind you but didn’t have to look to know who it was. You’d know Dean’s footsteps anywhere.

“What’s this one?” He asked stopping at the plant furthest away from you “Echinacea, it helps for colds and flu” you replied barely looking in his direction. He walked a little closer to you and touched another plant. “What about this one?” You sighed loudly before answering “Ginger, it has anti-inflammatory, antibacterial,antiviral property and helps with nausea”

You finally turned to look fully at him “Can we not act like you actually give a damn about any of these plants? Why are you here Dean? You’ve avoided me for days, hell I’ve avoided you too so why are we talking now?” he took a few steps towards you stopping only a mere foot away “I miss you, you’re my best friend and I acted like an idiot..” “And practically accused me of being a whore that couldn’t even wait to get back to safety to fuck someone” you added and he chuckled lightly “That too”

“Why Dean? Why have you been pulling away from me for months and why did this run just cement the fact that our friendship is apparently broken beyond repair” you felt your voice break but didn’t try to hide it. You cared about Dean even if you’d resigned yourself to only being a friend to him because he’d never see you as more. Now you’d even lost that.

“Please, don’t say that Y/N. I was an asshole I’ll admit. I never should’ve acted like that towards you or Gadreel..it’s just..” he trailed off and you were too tired of beating around the bush by that point so this time you were the one to snap “Just what Dean?”

“I saw you getting close with him. I saw the way you two looked at each other then seeing his hands on you and the way you were smiling..I knew I’d lost any chance with you. It took me seeing you with him to open my eyes to just how much you mean to me” you were stunned into silence at his words. After a moment without you replying he laughed bitterly “Yeah and now I look like an idiot to add to it. Look I just wanted to say sorry and I hope you’ll forgive me”

He turned to walk out and only then did you find your voice “You are an idiot” he turned around to face you “Excuse me?” You crossed the space to stand in front of him “You’re an idiot Dean Winchester. I've had feelings for you for a long time. Yeah Gadreel is a good looking guy and a sweetheart. We’re good friends and I like spending time with him but as far as who I want? It’s been you, it’s always been you”

A smile slipped onto his face “Well does that mean we’re gonna give this a try?” you shrugged nonchalantly “I don’t know. Are you gonna be a jealous ass if I have male friends and hang out with them?” he laughed “No, I promise you my days of being a jealous asshole are over. If you’re sure you want me I know you only say what you mean” you tapped your chin in mock thought for a moment before saying “In that case why don’t we seal it with a kiss?” “Thought you’d never ask,” he replied, pulling you into his arms.

#spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x female!reader

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one-more-offbeat-anthem · 3 years

Text

Dean is starting to realize that having choices doesn’t always make things easy.

When he was a kid, he never had a choice--he had to follow along with what his dad wanted, getting revenge, like it would be a rescue mission for their family. Even when John Winchester was long gone, though, Dean still didn’t have a choice; he had to keep going, had to get whatever was out there before it got him. Save the world. Avert the apocalypse. Defeat God. Over and over and over again, Dean had to do these things, and when the puppet strings were finally cut, he thought he’d get peace.

In a way, he was right. His life’s a hell of a lot more peaceful than before--he hunts when he wants to, because he wants to, not because of some crazy sense of duty that used to make him work himself to the bone. He has a house, now--he’ll never regret the bunker, his first true home since a long-burned house in Lawrence, but it’s nice to wake up to sunshine and walk outside and have an honest-to-god deck. Then there’s the whole deal with Cas--Dean had told Jack once that love can get crazier than that, and apparently it can get crazy enough for Dean to journey to the literal void and haul Cas out by the lapels of his trench coat.

(That trench coat now hangs in their closet. It’s not used as often but if it’s a blustery day, Cas still puts it on. Dean likes that Cas has other clothes now, although the first time he saw him in just a t-shirt he was pretty sure he’d actually died and made it to heaven.)

But part of having a choice, part of having freedom, is realizing how fucked up some of the shit before that freedom was.

Which is why Dean’s been going to therapy.

“I hate it,” he admitted to Cas one night in bed, when they were curled up together, after the fourth or fifth appointment. “It’s supposed to make me feel better, right? But I just feel like she flipped me inside out.”

He said that, but he still goes, because after the inside-out feeling comes some kind of weird clarity where Dean’ll randomly drop his knife while he’s cooking and get all teary-eyed for reasons that having nothing to do with the onions he’s caramelizing.

And right now, Dean’s especially glad for the patient counseling of Veronica Matthews, Psy.D., because he can’t think.

He’s at the grocery store, like he is practically every week (when you’re feeding two adults, one adult-sized toddler, and your brother and his girlfriend visit your house near-constantly, plus your sorta-daughter and her girlfriend regularly crash on the couch on the way to hunts, you go through a lot of food), so it’s not any different than normal. Dean’s got the list, carefully written in Cas’s cramped handwriting--milk, eggs, cereal, beer, pasta, it goes on and on.

(Ice cream is written at the bottom in Jack’s messy scribble, too.)

And Dean’s been going through the store the same way he always does, aisle by aisle, carefully scanning the list that Cas has organized by type of food. He’s going to get some wine in addition to the beer, he thinks, even though it’s not on the list, because Sam secretly likes merlot better than a pale ale, even if he’ll never admit it.

Then a family walks by, a mom and a dad and a little girl sitting in the basket holding a stuffed rabbit and a slightly older boy walking beside the cart, poking his sister, and Dean hears a snippet of their chatter. They’re planning a barbecue for the little girl’s birthday, apparently, inviting the extended family. It’s so fucking normal, a scene Dean’s seen played out in the grocery store dozens of times, little kids begging their dads for cupcakes or moms carefully choosing what kind of vegetables their kids will like, but it plunges him into cold water, and he freezes up, white-knuckling the grocery cart’s push handle.

Dean’s not sure how long he stands there in front of the cans of peas, feet glued to the ground, but then he remembers Dr. Matthews’ advice. He takes a deep breath, counts to ten. Exhales. Does that again.

He’s at the grocery store. He’s not a kid anymore, stealing food because his mom’s dead and his dad’s well on the way, half-drunk on sorrow and all the way drunk on booze. He has a family waiting for him--Cas. Jack. Sam--Sam is safe. Sam is happy. Sam’s not going to starve. Eileen. Claire. Kaia--the list is longer than he thought.

He’s safe.

Dean lets out a final breath and pushes the cart past the canned vegetables, on his way to decide what kind of ice cream Jack might like. Maybe birthday cake. Something colorful with way too much sugar.

Dean is starting to realize that having choices means he doesn’t have to do all of this alone.

#panic attack tw #sorry y'all I had brainworms todya #TFW goes to therapy is one of my favorite post-canon things #offbeatwrites

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myaimistrue · 3 years

Text

written for @spnpocweek day two! prompt was “blue”

this is also posted on my ao3

“Y’know, I hate the Winchesters.”

Claire snorts, and Kaia just nods sagely as she continues sorting through the M&Ms for the blue ones. “I get that.”

“You know how many times they’ve fucked up my life? God, I hate them.” It’s funny, though, because even as Kevin says it, he doesn’t really mean it. He’s not sure how he feels about Sam and Dean exactly, but knows it isn’t hate—Kevin doesn’t think he hates anybody, anymore. It’s too exhausting. “Assholes,” He mutters anyway.

“Cas possessed my dad,” Claire says casually, like it’s the weather, not some seriously fucked-up family trauma. “That got my mom killed a little way down the line, but Jimmy had been gone for years—since the first apocalypse, I think? I don’t know, whatever. But Cas is human now, so he just has his body.” She raises her eyebrows at Kevin. “Honestly, dude, I think it’s hard to beat that.”

“It’s not a competition,” Kaia says.

“You’re just saying that because you wouldn’t win,” Claire retorts.

Kaia laughs, and then she and Claire are having a moment, all sweet and giggling and in love. Kevin feels a conflicting combination of both desperate longing and sharp irritation. He settles on taking another swig of his beer.

“But, hey,” Claire says after some undetermined amount of time, shaking Kevin out of his reverie of angst. “Hey, at least things are better now. No Heaven, no Hell, way less monsters to kill. I mean, it actually gets a little boring sometimes. That’s pretty fucking cool. We can do what we want.”

Kevin looks at her, the drunken smile on her face, and wishes he could feel that. Whenever he thinks about what the future might hold for him, it’s like a blank wall—he can’t get past the present moment. It seems impossible to, when he could die at any time. He probably will die sometime soon; it’s been too long since something went terribly fucking wrong for him.

“I think I want to go to college,” Kaia says. She’s still picking out all the blue M&Ms with a kind of focus only afforded to those that are deeply intoxicated. “There’s so much to learn.”

Claire pulls a face. “Boring. I wanna travel, and not just the way we travel to hunt. I wanna see everything. I want to see the whole fucking world.”

Kevin opens his mouth to contribute, and then closes it. What does he want? He can’t even remember what the answer to that question used to be. Probably something about going to Yale with all his AP credits in tow and eventually becoming the first Asian-American President of the United States—actually, he thinks, that was probably it. Kevin Tran for President. The idea’s pretty laughable now.

They all talk for a little while longer. The night ends with Claire telling a story about a vamp hunt gone wrong that has all of them struggling to breathe through their laughter, and Jody poking her head out of her bedroom and whisper-shouting them all off to bed. Claire and Kaia stumble away, still giggling, and Kevin settles back onto the couch, his bed for the night.

It’s nice that they’re letting him stay for a few weeks, he thinks. Jody had welcomed him with a warm smile and curt explanation of the house rules. No weapons, no fighting, and no sneaking out. He’d wanted to make a comment about being a grown man, but didn’t; if she was going to let an aimless prophet fuck-up hang around for a few weeks, he might as well be nice about it.

Kevin’s phone buzzes. It’s Mom.

Hope you’re having a nice time. Be safe. I love you.

His chest twists, and he shoots back a quick I am, I love you too immediately. It’s been good to get a little space from her this past week, but he knows how hard it is for them both to be apart, after everything that’s happened. It’s past midnight, now—she must not have been able to sleep.

He thinks about what Claire said. It’s true; things are better now. The hunting community seems to be back to whatever their weird normal was pre-Sam and Dean fucking everything up—at least their talent for that isn’t specific to Kevin himself. Sam and his way-too-cool-for-him wife Eileen have the bunker up and running as a kind of hub for hunters, and as far as Kevin can tell, it’s going really well. He has a permanently extended invitation to stay there for as long as he wants, help Sam with some of the translations; Sam, obnoxiously kind and residually guilty as he is, even said he could bring Mom along.

Kevin’s not sure about it. The last time he lived at the bunker, it didn’t exactly go well for him. But things are different now, and at least if he started translating, he could put all this weird knowledge in his head to use. He’s going to have to figure something out eventually. He can’t couch surf through the entire hunter network forever.

He sits up, head buzzing from the alcohol—he’s not much of a drinker, much preferring a joint to a beer, but Claire had said Jody didn’t like it when they smoked in the house. There’s a pile of blue M&Ms sitting on the coffee table where Kaia left them. Kevin pops a few in his mouth idly.

He’s been dead a few times. He’s come back to life a few times, and now, supposedly, it’s going to stick. He’s young. He can do whatever he wants. So what does he want?

Again, there’s that blank wall. So Kevin flips the lamp off and lays back down in the darkness, the taste of shitty beer and chocolate on his tongue. Maybe he’ll take up Sam on his offer. Maybe he’ll leave this whole thing behind, take Mom and go somewhere sunny, Florida or something. Hey, maybe he will be the first Asian-American President. Crazier things have happened.

#spnpocweek #kevin #kevin tran #claire #claire novak #kaia #kaia nieves #linda tran #linda #spn fic #supernatural fanfiction #del's writing

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estrel · 4 years

Text

untitled coda

submitted by anonymous

Summary: Dean lets himself be something more than his father’s son.

Pairing: mentioned Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen and Claire/Kaia

(Note: Two years post-canon. Most events post-15x18 ignored/retconned. Any inconsistencies are from that and/or me not having watched the last 5 seasons. TW: mentions of abuse)

—————-

Baby’s grille digs into Dean’s back, cold seeping through the denim of his jeans from the concrete he sits on. The creeper dolly and his tools lay abandoned for now. His head rests upon the chrome. He hasn’t touched Baby in weeks, walking to work in the early morning just before sunrise, even when the stormfront came through and nearly soaked him to the bone. He felt the shadow of his father in the driver’s seat and couldn’t stand the itch.

“I don’t know how you lived with yourself.”

Dean speaks quietly into the echo of the Bunker’s garage. He thinks of John, behind the wheel and tapping his fingers to a guitar solo. He hates asking questions to the open air, but John had rarely given him the respect of an honest answer even in arms’ reach.

“Sam knows, about the kind of shit you put me through. Got sick of protecting your sorry ass.”

Dean ducks his head, forty-three and still wary of his father’s hand, and his belt, and the butt of his pistol with an empty chamber but a loaded magazine. The skin on the back of his neck flushes hot with anger and shame. The old man is dead and he’s still waiting for retaliation.

He doesn’t apologize. Dean lifts his head and stares at the ceiling, eyes burning and throat tight from all the words he never voiced clogging his chest. Damn near two years of therapy got him to this point, where the words still don’t come easy but he can wrench them out of his head when he needs to. He needs to now, like he needs to when he sits in that office with Sam and they process, like he needs to when it’s just him and his psychologist and over eighty years worth of pain.

Most of the time, when it’s him and Sam, sixty minutes per week isn’t enough. Sam hops in the car (or recently, sits next to him on the curb), and they talk. For a while it was mostly screaming, arguing, until it wasn’t. Then it became letting horrors out of their hearts, commiserating, comforting. Hurting and healing all at once. Letting Sam be someone other than his baby brother and being someone other than his protector.

There’s a lot he’s still working up the nerve to tell. Same with Sam, he sees it when the topic strays to the Cage. But he’d told his little brother about the first time their father struck him, and the look on Sam’s face shook him. The guilt in Sam’s voice, for not knowing (“You had enough shit to deal with, Sam, like hell I was gonna make you live with that.”), for not doing more to help (“I had to protect you, not the other way around.”) is what made it all sink in.

“He actually apologized to me, you know that?” Dean smiles, bitter. “For what you did to me.”

Dean tenses.

“I hate you. You had the damn gall to make me responsible for that kid’s happiness and you set me up to fail.”

Dean swallows to ease the tension in his throat.

“I could forgive Mom.” Dean’s voice cracks now, and he clenches his jaw against it, vision swimming in unshed tears. “She didn’t get to stick around to fix her mistakes but you- you looked at us every fucking day and-” He stops. Breathes. Dean lets the tears fall angry and hot. “I was supposed to be your son, not your fucking weapon.”

In, one, two, three, four. Out, five, six, seven, eight.

“I will never forgive you. I…” Dean huffs a sad laugh. “I didn’t even think there was anything to forgive for a long time. A long time. I made so many fucking excuses for you. I drove your car. Wore your jacket, tried to be you. And none of it helped. ‘Cause Bobby was right. You were a fucking coward.”

Dean lets out a breath and feels his chest loosen with it.

“You talked a big game about family and-and blood but where were you when I needed you?” He seethes, and this is how it goes. He’s spent so long pushing down the vitriol, the hurt, that he’s gotta work up to the anger. Let it simmer in his heart and head before he really feels it, because John never let him. Had him backpedaling before he could even get started. But he’s feeling it now. “Where were you when Sam needed you? If it wasn’t for me he would’ve been alone! I was alone!” Dean sniffs, breath shuddering. “And I fucked up. So much. But who was around to teach me any better, 'cause you damn sure didn’t.”

His own voice echoes at him, and Dean quiets.

“I thought I could understand you, y'know, desperate times and all that shit. But I have my own family now.”

He remembers Cas, the tears in his eyes as he confessed to something Dean dreamed of but never dared to hope for. I love you.

He remembers sitting in catatonia the entire night after he was taken, after he died to save him. Remembers the moments in between when the lucidity broke through and he sobbed, wrecked. Mourning and in love and regretting.

He remembers dragging Cas out of the Empty with his bare hands, watching his grace twine with the tendrils of blackness as the opening closed behind them for good.

He remembers pressing close to Cas, hidden away in a dark corner of the library, when he said, I’m yours, Cas. If you’ll stay then I’m yours.

He thinks of Jack, five years old now and at that age, Dean didn’t speak. He curled around Sam in his crib at night, his little brother’s shield before he knew how much weight the title really carried. Jack is sweet, more than anything, musing about the life around him and people and wanting to preserve the beauty in it, be apart of that beauty if he could. Dean thinks he takes after Cas in that, and the thought brings a small smile to his face.

He thinks of Claire, tough and smart and enjoying the magic of first love with Kaia. How the first thing she does is poke fun at him when she visits before he wraps her in a hug (and returns the favor). How proud he is that though she’s seen so much, faced so much for her age, that she’s already so much better than Dean had been at that age.

He thinks of Sam and Eileen, such perfect complements to each other. He can trust Eileen to be there for Sam when he can’t, be his foundation. Sam’s come into his own, a leader in the hunting community now, a scholar of its history. Eileen’s held him down, a strong woman and a hell of a hunter and his partner in every way. They’ve worked through so much of their own pain together and it’s almost comical how happy they are in each other’s presence. Dean rests easy knowing he can let Sam live life without his constant, watchful eye.

“I ain’t perfect. Hell, understatement of the year. But I try. Every day. 'Cause they don’t deserve any of my shit. They gave me so many chances already.”

And this is where Dean pauses, braces and stops himself from thinking of all the ways he’s failed already. All the ways he’s hurt them. Everything he has to fix.

“I love them so much.” Dean breathes those words, because the force of it always hits him hard. He feels it in every atom of his being. “More than you ever loved me. And I’ll spend all the time I got left showing it. 'Cause if it’s the last goddamn thing I do, I’ll be a better man than you.”

#IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO UPLOAD THIS ANON SDFNJSDF #it's so good!!!#submitted to me #bookshelf #spn #gen #fanfic #submission

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