#It is in fact garbage CAN not garbage cannot!

[itspileofgoodthings]

@ilovevanillatea sent me friendship bracelets and I love them

[cobra-creampuff]

i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

[lofe-arts]

Inky Cap Mushroom for Funguary 2022.

This is probably my least successful of the Funguary lot, at least by my personal standards. Interestingly, this is very very much harkening back to how I used to draw when I was first really getting in to drawing and first on Deviantart (when that was all the rage and *glomps you* was 90% of comment conversations). WHICH WAS 18 YEARS AGO.

Anyways I went and found my old profile there just to give you guys the comparison:

Long, long mAAaaaan.

[mediumgayitalian]

"Don't cry."

"...I'm not."

"Omigods. Will. Don't cry."

"I'm not!"

But there are welled up tears making his eyes looking huge, and even as he bites it his lip still trembles. In seconds there is the slightest of sniffles.

Nico groans, slumping against the handle of the grocery cart. A WASPy mother glares at him in passing. He glares back and sics an errant soul onto her monstrosity of a hairdo for good measure.

"Will," he groans, metal bar digging into his forehead, "Will, it's a lemon."

"I know," Will sniffles, bravely. "Just -- leave it. Let's go."

Nico moves his arm, just enough to watch his too-tall over-empathetic dumbass best friend try and fail to pull himself together in the, and Nico cannot emphasize this enough, very public grocery store in the suburbs of Long Island, where people stare.

And, like.

The staring is not too unusual.

Will is in cutoff shorts and flip-flops. It's early March. Climate change is not that bad yet. The two of them are wearing neon camp t-shirts -- Nico's good, goth t-shirts have been stolen from him to be 'washed' -- and are both, Nico must emphasize again, fifteen years of age, with a grocery cart each full to the actual brim with Pop Tarts, Twizzlers, medical supplies, socks, and silly string. Will is approximately nineteen feet tall. They make a scene. That is a fair evaluation.

But rare is the day where Nico cannot quell the stares by reflecting hellfire into his eyes. Mortals usually flee in terror or at least walk away traumatized. Today they aren't even looking.

"Will," he says, as gently as he can manage. Will looks over, after a minute, and his bright eyes look so glassy and miserable that whoa, hey, Nico can manage a whole lot gentler than he thought he could, can't he. He reaches up and pats a palm against Will's wet cheek, swiping a thumb under his eyes. "Do you. Want." He glances over at the lone, half-dried up lemon on the floor by the produce baskets. "Would you like to take the lemon home with us.

"Yes," says Will quietly. Nico's hand falls away and Will wipes his face, crouching down to scoop it up. He hesitates before putting it in the cart, cradling it against his chest. "It's just." He looks at Nico through his eyelashes. Nico tries to smile encouragingly. Based on the immediate tears and sobbing of a child directly behind Will's shoulders, he is unsuccessful. "If we don't take it, no one will, you know."

"Yes," agrees Nico slowly. "Due to the fact that it is garbage."

Will snatches his hand back like Nico had smacked it, glaring hard. Nico is really starting to consider those bipolar pamphlets Kayla left pointedly on the Apollo table. Yeesh.

"It's not -- garbage! Just because -- just because something isn't as good as everything else doesn't mean it's garbage!"

...Or not.

Ah.

"Ah," says Nico. He clears his throat. "Ah."

Some cultures attribute tact and gentleness to his father -- Death accepts all, and in facts invites all, to reside with Him. He will take your hand and guide you to whence you have never travelled, where you have no kin. He will speak to you in your shock of your life and your triumphs. He, when you have no one, is your compassionate, voluble friend.

Hazel inherited all that, unfortunately. Nico got the dead-eyed stare and fruitiness.

"Uh," he tries, anyway, "if you were a rotten lemon, I would take you home."

Will looks at him skeptically. "You would?"

"Y -- uh, yes. I would make." He wracks his brain. "I would use you to clean surfaces."

"...Oh."

"Yes. Like -- chopping boards, and the like." He makes a karate chop motion with his hand. He immediately takes the hand and shoves it into the untraveled depths of his pocket, which is a challenge due to the fact that it took him forty minutes to paint his jeans on this morning, and vows to cut its quisling digits off as quickly as possible. Why is he alive.

He is grateful at least that his friend is about as stupid as he is.

"That would be a good use for me if I was a rotting lemon," Will agrees. He looks down at the rotting lemon cradled in his hands. "Maybe we will use you to clean."

"Yes," Nico says, gentle coaxing. "Now let's put the lemon in the cart, okay? We're almost done. We just need the nineteen quarts of ice cream Cecil paid me ninety dollars not to disclose to Chiron. Let's go."

"'Kay."

Garbage lemon safely laid among a braid of licorice packages, dead centre in the cart, they move on. The stares follow them, but Will at least does not seem to mind -- used to it, veteran camper that he is -- and slides his arm through Nico's crooked elbow. Nico takes that as the opportunity it is to steer him away from the cake that a nefarious teenager has pushed to the floor, lest that set him off next. They have only minutes until they make it to the cash register, where Nico will pay for whatever Will is watching him scan, and are home free.

"Hey, Nico."

Nico hums, eyeing the self-checkout line. "Yeah?"

"Would we still be friends if I was a worm?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

[intrusivethoughtsblog]

How to be a Solar Punk (And a Leftist) ☀️🌱:

1) Stop buying fast fashion and boycott.

I use Depop, Etsy to support small businesses, and you can purchase from small businesses or organizations via other channels. You can also transform your clothing. If a t-shirt is too small, make it a crop top or wear a long shirt underneath! Also look up boycott lists (e.g. BDS movement list) so you know which companies you can or cannot support.

2) Censor and Spread.

Carry around a sharpie or a tube of paint to cover ignorant (e.g. racist) graffiti and scribbles. (I’m not going to refer to it as art). You can also spread information via graffiti.

3) Reuse and Recycle.

I use grocery bags as garbage bags, tin cans to hold things, boxes from online orders, you can even get more creative and make pins out of bottle tops!

4) Get involved physically (if possible).

Volunteer to help people who are lower income, get involved in “beautifying” the community (e.g. displaying the cultural backgrounds of the community, gardening, and protesting).

5) Get involved online.

I sign and repost GoFundMe campaigns, donate what I can, and post information regarding current events. Don’t be apolitical. This is a leftist ideology.

6) Educate yourself.

Go to trusted sources to educate yourself on facts regarding certain matters so you can dispute false claims. There are many PDFs online, podcasts, and overall resources you should take advantage of to increase your awareness and to also help develop a better understanding of those who need your help. Education is what will set us free.

7) Support your local library.

There are so many resources and programs they offer that people are not aware of. And because people are not aware of them they are shut down and underfunded. People who can’t afford computers need to have them available free at cost. Not only to enjoy them leisurely but to do things like job search. Children also have reading assignments which brings them to the library, seeing activities and programs they offer children will help to cultivate a love for learning. The next generations are our future.

8) Learn languages and about cultures.

Certain issues are not limited to certain communities or areas. We need to unite in order to make an impact that will enact change. You will also understand how to positively influence certain people that would otherwise not be receptive due to a different communication style.

9) Take care of your mental health.

“A sick person cannot help a sick person.” -AA saying

You also need to take care of yourself because, simply, you are valuable. Being healthily selfish exists.

10) Be confident.

We unfortunately have to enter spaces that will make us uncomfortable and it will be difficult to be vocal, but it is necessary. In this area, focus on practicing efficient communication methods and building your self-confidence.

11) Confront your own bias.

Everyone is biased in some way shape or form. It is our job to rid ourselves of these biases. Take moral inventory (as they say in 12-step programs) and analyze areas you need to work on.

12) Credit artists and writers.

Being an artist and/or writer should not be a struggling profession. They are an integral part of our society. It’s easy to forget, especially when we take so many screenshots a day, so keep this in mind! I sometimes forget so I can attest it’s not the end of the world but it is a good habit to form.

13) Be anti-A.I.

It is not possible to incorporate A.I. into a leftist environment. It inherently promotes late-stage capitalism.

13) Be a good human. :)

Please comment what I missed! Thank you for reading.

Flag credit: @Starwall@radical.town

[livelaughloveluffy]

flirt - trafalgar water d. law

a/n: guys i had a final presentation today and i basically turned into a rap god, because we only had 2-3 minutes to present and i had a lot to say 😭😭😭 my poster board looked like garbage compared to everyone else's though and im praying that my presenting was good enough to pick up where my poster slacked 💀 but its in the hands of my professor and god now 😭😭

nothing but fluff here 💗

---------------------------------------------------------------------

-similar to ace, law cannot keep his eyes off of you. however, where they differ is the fact that the captain of the heart pirates would rather die than be caught in the act of staring at you. if you happen to sense his eyes on you and turn to look at him, his cheeks immediately get covered in the faintest blush as he turns his head in a completely different direction as fast as he possibly can.

-law is really subtle with the ways he verbally flirts with you. it comes in the form of soft praise during team meetings, you can see his facial expressions soften ever so slightly as he looks at you and murmurs "you did a good job.."

-his main expression of love and attraction is quality time.. so expect to help clean the captain's office, he'll frequently ask you to dust, rearrange his books, organize files and papers, your home away from home on the polar tang is law's office due to how often he'll assign you chores there. when you're finished, you can hear his gruff voice from across the room offer "if you want to say and read for awhile, you can."

-you'll find cold glasses of water left on your vanity in the mornings, little candies left on your pillow when you head into your room ready for bed, and while he'll never fess up to it, you know in your heart that it's law leaving them for you... while he struggles with verbal communication to describe his feelings for you, he more than makes up for it with his physical gestures of consideration.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

tags ♡: @twiishaa @dindjarins1ut @3v37773 @dreamcastgirl99 @acesdiary; want to join the taglist? click here!!

a/n: hehehe not me writing a cheeky little fanfic before my last class of the semester😌i'm super close to being done with all my work!! i just have 4 more labs, 2 tests, and one exam left!! and while that sounds super overwhelming, i swear it's not, so if you catch me posting fics or one piece updates instead of doing my homework.... mind your own business 😭💀

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[enzosbabyangel]

Can you do more stepdad!fred where fred was fed up with your constant complaining while your mother was shrugging it off (btw they were in the park or smth, your choice:D) and with that, fred excused the two of you by "getting what you want" but instead fucking you dumb somewhere so you can learn a lesson to stop complaining. Jsbdjdjhd can i also request fred calling her bunny when theyre alone? Thats all

LUV YOUR STORIES I CANNOT

lots of love- lvkllrxx

ཐི⋆♱⃓⋆ཋྀ Daydreaming about being brat tamed by Stepdad!Fred…

cw: 18+!, mdni, bratty!reader, large age gap, cheating, public sex, unprotected p n v, spanking, hair pulling, overstimulation, slight anal play, Fred forces reader to keep her panties off afterwards hehe

a/n: Thank you babbyy ! you’re so sweet ily 💞 Hope you liked this cause i had a lot of fun writing it ! But now WHY did it take me an arm and a fucking leg to write this… i’m so sorry bby ☹️💞 The end is a tad bit rushed because i really really wanted to get this out already !! Idk how i feel about this one 😕

You had been a brat all day. Constantly complaining to your mom and step dad all because they didn’t let you go to the mall with your friends and instead forced you to go to some stupid fair with your younger sister Linney. For some ‘family bonding time’ as Fred put it.

“It’s not fair!” “Just because Linney wants to come doesn’t mean i have to!” “I need new lipliner!” “Linney ruined my blush so i need to get more.” “How come you never force Linney to do stuff she doesn’t like?” “I’m not some baby who enjoys sitting around at festivals and eating garbage junk food all day!” “You guys are so annoying.” “I’m not doing that.” “No Linney do it yourself.” “No i am NOT doing that, i didn’t even want to bloody come here.” “Can we go on that ride?” “What do you mean no?” “Because Linney can’t go on it? Are you serious?!” “I’m just going to leave unless we go on that ride.” “Mom Linney is twelve she can wait by herself for a minute.” “No. I told you i wasn’t moving unless we go on that ride.”

All that was all Fred had been hearing the entire day. You’re constant pestering and complaining. He was getting sick of it, whereas your mom was just shrugging it off and giving into what you want, which just ticked Fred off even more.

“Fine. Go on the ride.” Your mother dismissed. Shaking her head slightly at your attitude. All she wanted was for you to shut up already.

Fred hated the fact your mom gave in. In his mind you didn’t deserve to go on the stupid ride with all your attitude today. But what he hated even more was your bratty, smug grin as you heard your mom’s words. Infuriatingly twirling around and rushing to the ride.

“You really think she deserves to go on the ride she wants with all her attitude today?” Fred asked your mom with crossed arms, waiting to hear your mother’s side and her reason for her decision.

“We’ll deal with it later.” Your mother sighed while searching in her purse for her card. “Maybe if she gets some time alone she’ll calm down.” She explained before looking towards Fred and giving him a small, slightly tired smile. “Besides, she had a point. Not fair that Linney gets to have all the fun.”

Fred hummed in response, expression softening slightly at her explanation. Not agreeing but appreciating her determination to keep things fair. But Fred knew damn well that your attitude won’t magically disappear. And he knows just how to get you back in check- even if ‘unethical’ in some ways.

And sure enough, you weren’t pleased and attitude didn’t dwindle even after going on the ride. Instead you were now nagging about wanting bloody Dubai Chocolate and Strawberry Milk.

“Look- that food truck over there has some drinks! Ooo Strawberry milk? Can we get some? please!” “I don’t care about the water can’t we just get some?” “Oh! And Dubai Chocolate!” “So what if it’s expensive? We’re at a festival!” “Ugh this sucks..” “No, you only get what Linney wants.” “I don’t care, i’m done talking.”

God you were just being insufferable now. Choosing now to sit at a bench, scrolling on your phone with your free arm resting under your breasts. Pushing the flesh up naturally. Ignoring both Fred and your mother as if they didn’t exist. A part of Fred even started to think that you were doing this on purpose, just for some of his attention.

But Fred wasn’t stupid, he knew just how to get you to shut your mouth for the rest of the day. Executing his plan under the guise of ‘Getting you Dubai Chocolate and Strawberry Milk’.

Needless to say, when you ended up uncomfortably pushed onto the sink in the washroom, legs pushed up while your neck craned at an uncomfortable position as you watched Fred’s hand run up and down his cock, curves of the sink stabbing into your flesh, you knew that you weren’t getting what you wanted.

“Been a real brat today.” Fred hummed while he didn’t even bother looking at you. “Don’t even know if you deserve my cock.” He tsked.

“Pleaseee,” You pouted, looking up at him with wide, begging eyes. “Promise i won’t complain anymore, jus’ want your cock.” You whined, wiggling your hips slightly to try and urge him on.

You knew that realistically you didn’t need to beg, that Fred would give you what you want either way, but why not play along anyways?

Fred scoffed, finally looking up at you as he cocked a brow and spoke almost mockingly at you. “Yeah i know, been wanting a lot of stuff today. Why should i give you what you want? hm? Probably been acting like a brat all day just for this.”

You let out another whine, batting your lashes at him as you ignored how your pussy clenched around nothing at his tone of voice. “Please, i promise. Pinky promise.” You muttered, holding back a bratty grin that was desperate to form on your face at Fred’s call out.

“Yeah?” Fred asked, cocking a brow slightly before running the tip of his cock along your slick with arousal pussy. Eliciting a gasp from your mouth as you became even more eager. “Better keep that promise or i won’t touch you for a week.”

You hummed, eagerly nodding your head. Holding the backs of your knees closer to your body. “Promise!” You repeated, watching as Fred stepped closer towards your body. Pussy clenching around nothing in anticipation.

Freds left hand moved to rest on your thigh, right hand positioning himself at your entrance. “Better stay quiet, brat. Don’t want people to hear us.” He said before pushing in, his eyes trained on your face. Watching as your lips parted in a silent moan and breath caught in your throat.

Fred hands wrapped around to the front of your thighs, pulling your legs out of your grasp. His pace immediately started as slow but deep thrusts. Every one of his thrusts pushing your body uncomfortably into the faucet of the sink, but you didn’t care.

Moans spilled from your lips as he gradually started increasing his pace. Biting your lip to try and keep yourself quiet. “Shit…” You let out as you cocked your head to the side. Eye’s squeezing shut as you enjoyed the pleasure.

Fred, however, didn’t appreciate your words nor moans. He sped up his pace and brought a hand up to cover your mouth roughly. Your eyes darting open and looking up at him while he ticked his tongue. “No words, nothing. I don’t want to hear a thing from you. Had enough of your voice today.”

You whined against his palm but listened nevertheless. Clenching around him at the cold and sternness in his voice.

The only sounds that echoed in the dingy park washroom was your occasional whines, Fred’s grunt and wet ‘claps’ of skin slapping against skin. You felt yourself getting closer to the edge, and when the man above you started rubbing rough circles on your clit you came undone. Gasp escaping your lips and toes curling as you jerked into his touch, moans shamelessly spilling from your lips.

Fred wasn’t far behind you, pulling out after a couple more sloppy thrusts. A singular, low moan falling from his lips. Sticky, thick strings of his cum landing on your stomach.

You sucked in breaths as you came down from your high. The only sounds in the small, dirty room now being of the two of you’s pants as you guys basked in the afterglow. Your peace, however, didn’t last long as you got, easily, flipped over. A ‘humph’ of breath escaping you instinctively as you landed on the sink again, this time on your stomach as your legs dangled down.

You let out a sound of question, not even fully processing the change of position before you sucked in a breath, feeling the tip of Fred’s cock run over your overstimulated pussy folds.

Craning your neck back to look at Fred, You whined. Pathetically kicking your legs in refusal as you spoke. “S’no more !” You protested, pouting. “Already came..”

“And?” Fred said simply. His tone and words uncaring as he pushed your face back down into the sink, ignoring whines of protest that escaped your lips. “This is supposed to be a punishment, you really thought i was gonna let you get away with your behaviour with just a quick fuck?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, sucking in a breath as he ran his tip along your puffy ‘n sensitive folds. “So just shut up. I still don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” He said sternly before pushing back in, feeling overwhelming against your overstimulated, plush walls. You moaned against the cold surface of the sink as Fred quickly set a quick pace. Your body feeling overwhelmed with a mix of pain of pleasure.

A firm slap was placed to the flesh of your ass, Fred’s larger hands squeezing the now red, plump flesh. “Listen to you..” He started, almost humming his words as he pulled your cheeks apart. “Moaning so loud for someone who didn’t wanna continue.” He chuckled, and then a plop of cool spit fell just above your tight, clenching around nothing ‘n virgin asshole.

You gasped when you felt his thumb rub his own spit around your asshole. Wanting to speak but being rejected before you could even get your words out. “Don’t. It’s a punishment remember?” And immediately after that he started pushing. His finger desperately trying to push into your virgin asshole.

It was embarrassing, how hard Fred was right now. He’s always dreamed of doing this and eventually more- stuff your mother would never let him do to her.

“That’s it bunny.” He hummed, watching with hooded eyes and arousal induced shaky breaths. Smirking as your pussy clenched around him both at the unusual feeling and praise.

In the back of your head you were wondering, ‘was this really a punishment? or just an excuse to stick his fucking thumb in my fucking ass?’. But you knew better than to say it out loud, fully aware of how mean Fred can truly get with his ‘punishments’.

And when he finally pushed past your refusing muscle he curled his thumb upwards, groan leaving his lips at the sight and the squeak that escaped your lip. Speeding up his thrusts while he shallowly thrusted his thumb against your walls.

“You’re squeaking like a bunny.” He grinned, looking up from your ass to admire your messed up, shaky and sweaty form. “You like that?” He asked and biting back your pride, you nodded. A smug chuckle leaving his lips before he pulled his thumb back.

“Knew you would.” He grinned and leaned down. His hand coming up to wrap around your throat and pull you up to make your back meet his chest half way. Holding your face up with his free hand to make you look at yourself in the mirror. Ruined mascara, spit spreading the colour of your lipgloss down your chin, tear streaks visible as they erased the cream blush that was decorating your cheeks.

“Look at how much of a slut you are for your mother’s husband, and your stepdad.” He teased. His eyes scanning over your ruined makeup with a smug expression. The pads of his fingers pushing uncomfortably into the flesh of your cheeks.

“Yeah!” You just agreed through moans. Too fucked dumb to properly comprehend them. Your hands gripping the cold surface of the sink. “I’m gonna cum!”

Fred just tsked at your words, chuckling in amusement before letting go of your neck and face. Leaning back up as he sped his thrusts up. “Fucked dumb already.” He mused with a smug smirk. Giving your ass a harsh smack as he felt your legs shake against him.

Your moans were loud when you finally came, kicking your legs back as you panted. Fred hissed at the feeling of your walls convulsing around his cock, pulling out just as he came. He made sure to let his cum land straight on your puffy and used folds.

Your body went limp against the cold surface once you finally came down from your high. Legs still slightly shaking as they dangled down.

Fred however, just smirked again as he came down from his high. Looking at your pretty folds decorated in his cum, using the head of his cock to spread his own cum around before stuffing himself back in his pants.

You didn’t even pay attention to your surroundings as Fred fixed himself up. Your attention was only brought back to reality when you saw him grab your panties from the corner of your eye and stuff them into his pocket. Slurring out your words as you finally managed to lift your upper body up. “S’what are you doing?”

Fred hummed as you spoke, dropping a bit of hand sanitizer onto his hands. His tone casual as if he didn’t just fuck you dumb and had your panties in his pocket. “You can walk around without them, part of your punishment.” He said simply before adding; “And don’t clean yourself. If you want to clean something clean the sink you made a mess of. It’s up to you to act normal out there.”

That was all he said, ignoring how you immediately went to protest. Simply walking out of the bathroom. Fucking asshole..

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . written by enzosbabyangel, 2025 on tumblr! © do not repost on any third party website or repost as yours. Doing so will result in me blocking you and reporting.

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea

“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.”

Ah, yes, that ominous opening line from Daphne du Maurier’s novel, “Rebecca.” Have you ever read it? It’s an old book – from 1938, in fact! – but it’s truly a remarkable story, especially for its time. It’s not often you find yourself rooting for the murderer.

Lately, I have found myself becoming more and more frustrated with the fandom. And, no, my annoyance is not from the Sincerely Ignorant teetering on and off the boat every time someone takes a dump on the deck of the USS Lukola – I’m pretty fucking used to that shit – and, honestly, many of our dear Sincerely Ignorant seem to be gaining their sea legs. It’s the Conscientiously Stupid that have struck a chord with me – a disturbing, dissonant chord that leaves me questioning the average level of human intelligence.

My issue with the Conscientiously Stupid is that they push narratives that, when taken collectively, make no goddamn sense. Thanks to The-One-That-Lurks-in-a-Play-Misty-For-Me-Heaping-Pile-of-Discordant-Garbage, I have had the [dis]pleasure of learning about Nicola- and Luke-Adjacent theories. Did you know that the small scrap of green blanket Nicola was sitting on in her August 11 “Drink Your Milk” picture proved that the picture was meant for Jake? You know the guy that, at that point in Fandom History, most people had no clue even existed? I mean, that makes a lot more sense than linking the “Drink Your Milk” shirt Nicola was showcasing to the one Luke was seen wearing on June 22. Now, I’m not saying the shirt belonged to Luke, but if we’re comparing apples to apples, which one of these theories seems more plausible to you?

At this point, you have probably started to realize I enjoy weaving in and out of storytelling mode, mixing fact with theory and speculation. Today, I decided to take a classic novel – surely you didn’t think I made that reference to “Rebecca” for nothing – and loosely intertwine it with some Conscientiously Stupid adjacent theories. This is all in good fun and, like usual, mostly for my own dark humor.

I should probably begin by introducing our book characters. Honestly, you can probably guess which of our shipmates I have assigned to each role fairly quickly.

First, we have our Unnamed Narrator. Seriously, her first name is never revealed.

Second, we have Mrs. Danvers, the obsessive, borderline psychotic housekeeper.

Third, we have Maxim de Winter, our Narrator’s husband.

Fourth, we have Jack Favell, the dodgy and unlikeable cousin.

Lastly, we have our titular character, that darling creature Rebecca.

Now, let’s see who is on the playbill.

ANTONIA AS MRS. DANVERS

It pained me just a little to give the role of Mrs. Danvers to Antonia, primarily because Mrs. Danvers is such a complex character and I’ve always found Antonia to be rather simple. And, no, I’m not insinuating Antonia is simple-minded; I am saying it was never difficult to see through her bullshit (i.e., the phrase, “patterns are patterning,” didn’t come out of thin air). It helped that Mrs. Danvers is one of the main antagonists in the book and almost certainly the GOAT at trolling the heroine of “Rebecca.” I mean, the second Mrs. de Winter didn’t stand a chance with Danny lurking in the background.

The general narrative in Lukola Lore is that Antonia is an online troll. I’ve never been sure as to who her primary target was – Nicola or the Lukola fandom. I tend to believe it originated as Nicola and the Lukola fandom was simply collateral damage. I also cannot say for fact that Antonia was trolling anyone, but I can confirm that the general belief within the fandom that Antonia was trolling is well-documented on social media. For today’s story, we are going to assume the narrative that Antonia was trolling both Nicola and the Lukola fandom. We are also going to assume the USS Lutonia (because I have no fucking clue what the Luke-Antonia ship is called!) was real. Don’t get your feathers fluffed over this. This belief does exist – and it’s why Antonia has been able to fuck with the Lukolas as long as she has – but I promise I have every intention of peppering the side of this ship with holes.

Okay, let’s tow the USS Lutonia out to sea. Don’t forget your Dramamine!

We are living under the umbrella that Luke and Antonia were dating during the World Tour. Poor Antonia was forced into hiding by – who the fuck knows but let’s keep rolling with this narrative – and she wasn’t allowed to be openly seen with Luke or post anything on her social media with Luke. And, Luke mirrored this behavior and made an effort to keep Antonia out of the spotlight (in fact, at the New York City premiere, the average viewer wouldn’t have known Antonia was anything more than Luke’s “friend of a friend”). Antonia, annoyed with this lack of engagement (and, almost certainly fed up with, at a minimum, fans shipping Luke with Nicola), started the pattern of posting pictures of herself and tagging her location as places the fandom knew Luke had recently been. Luke, for his part, made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia. Instead, he continued his flirtatious relationship with Nicola. After the London premiere, the Lukolas put a target smack dab in the middle of Antonia’s back and blamed her for setting up Papsmear for her own benefit. Luke still made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia or protect her from the abundance of online hate she received. In fact, he posted his “I will not let [Cressida] ruin our night” story to Instagram instead (see my “Entry 1 – The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post” if you’re confused by this comment). During post-Papsmear events, Luke did not list her as a plus one and he didn’t like any pictures of Antonia that were not on her grid. In fact, the only evidence directly linking Luke to Antonia were leaked and/or since-deleted pictures and videos not released by Luke. Throughout the summer, Antonia continued her efforts to place herself in proximity to Luke via tagged or easily recognizable locations. Oddly, many of Antonia’s posts seemed to occur shortly after Nicola posted or before/after DeuxMoi posted pap pictures, which gave birth to the “Antonia is trolling” subplot. Still, Luke made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia. On July 30, Luke was papped with Antonia and his friend group in Sorrento (see my “Entry 11 – The One About the Heart of the Ocean” if you want my opinion about that excursion). This was the last time Luke and Antonia were publicly photographed together. Once Luke returned to London on August 2, Antonia continued her campaign of insinuating she was in the same location as Luke, with the most recent being the Italian restaurant in Rome (which the restauranteur debunked, in my opinion). Again, Luke and Antonia have not been photographed together since July 30. To date, Luke has made no effort to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia, and the only visible interaction by Luke are his likes on Antonia’s semi-monthly Instagram grid posts, which seem obligatory at this point. For the month of November, there was no interaction between Luke and Antonia because Antonia did not post to her grid (gasp!).

Now, for all the Lutonia’s out there, explain to me why this kind of relationship is acceptable to you. Seriously, explain it to me.

Convince me that Luke didn’t shutter Antonia from the moment the USS Lukola schematics were presented to the engineers.

Convince me that Antonia is the kind of woman who would happily accept Luke’s blatant dismissal of her existence while he globe-trotted around the world with a woman he was being openly shipped with by fans, the press, and Bridgerton mates.

Convince me that Luke’s behavior towards Antonia doesn’t make him the worst boyfriend on the planet.

Convince me that Antonia’s online behavior towards Nicola and the Lukola fandom during and after the World Tour doesn’t make her a troll.

Convince me that Luke and Antonia are the definition of “true love.” Actually, before you do that, convince me that Luke and Antonia are currently dating.

Or, maybe you’ve realized that any effort to try to convince me would be a waste of your time because you, too, are starting to find this entire narrative unacceptable. It equates Antonia to someone who doesn’t mind being boxed into a corner and forced to claw her way out, and it likens Luke to an overbearing womanizer who doesn’t give two flips about how online hate may be affecting his partner. I mean, we may as well dump these two into an entirely different book called “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

I didn’t assign the role of Mrs. Danvers to Antonia because I thought Antonia was a feeble coward without her own voice. And, no, I didn’t give her the role because Mrs. Danvers is an obsessive psychopath. I gave Antonia the role of Mrs. Danvers because the fandom handed her the power to influence this narrative on a silver platter, just like the Narrator in “Rebecca” allowed herself to be manipulated by Mrs. Danvers. Moving forward, when you see Antonia with a lit match, all you need to do is lean over and blow it out. Poof! And, she’s gone. Seriously, if you see our version of Mrs. Danvers with anything that might light a fire, take it away from her!

Surely someone out there gets my joke…

LUKE AS MAXIM DE WINTER

Of course, Luke is Maxim de Winter, the outwardly charismatic, but recently widowed anti-hero who caught the affection of our Unnamed Narrator. I mean, he’s a good guy, right? Uhh, yeah, sure… Who doesn’t want to be married to a brooding chauvinist who is outwardly obsessed with the titular character? Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like Luke at all! Oh, no, actually it does – if you believe the USS Lutonia is real!

For Luke, we are going to assume the same narrative as above – that the USS Lutonia is real, that Antonia trolled Nicola and the Lukola fandom, and that Luke refused to acknowledge his relationship with Antonia. Besides the obvious “Luke is the shittiest fucking boyfriend in the universe,” I have a few other gripes with the USS Lutonia.

Initially, I understood the concept of “keeping Antonia in the dark,” after all I try to be logical when I process information. It was always possible Luke and Nicola were rocking some great PR in the beginning of the World Tour, and that was the only thing they were rocking. In fact, that’s what I initially believed Nicola was doing – being cute but also professional in her interactions with Luke during those early press junkets. Luke, on the other hand, always seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve. Once they hit Australia, it seemed obvious to me that something had changed (go back and read my “Entry 12 – The One Where We Start Laying the Yellow Brick Road to Italy” for a briefing on this). The more I watched Luke and Nicola interact on the World Tour, the more I became convinced Antonia must have been a thing of the past (or possibly nothing) for Luke – until Antonia showed up at Papsmear. At that point, I fully expected Luke to just own up to her. Like, give up on trying to hide Antonia from public view. But, then he pulled that goddamn “Cressida” post (seriously, if you have not read my first entry to this blog, go back and read it!). When you look at the World Tour and subsequent Hot Boy Summer, and the behaviors that were – and were not – on display during that timeframe, you start to develop a completely different view of the USS Lutonia. I mean, I’m not even sure that ship ever left the planning room!

One of the most glaring cosmetic flaws with the USS Lutonia is why “nice guy” Luke would treat Antonia with such indifference if he loved her. When asked who was most like their Bridgerton character, everyone always answered Luke. That he was the kindest, most genuine person. If that’s true, then why did Luke treat his “girlfriend,” Antonia, like she didn’t exist? Again, convince me that Luke’s Public Display of Apathy towards Antonia made him a great boyfriend. Even if Luke was a private person, one would think that after someone he cared about received as much hate as Antonia did after Papsmear, he would have stepped up and taken control of the narrative. He didn’t hesitate to clear up the “cake eating” picture from his September 7 Instagram post (about Nicola), and that “Cressida” post will live rent-free in my mind forever. The only “logical” explanation I can come up with for “nice guy” Luke to shutter Antonia right from the jump is that Antonia is not, and was not, a significant person in his life. That, or he really is a shithead, and he has a team of people lying about what a great guy he is.

We also need to consider Nicola’s interactions with Antonia. First, Nicola has never followed Antonia and Antonia has never followed Nicola, at least not on her public account. But, Nicola followed – and still follows – Luke’s ex, Jade. Now, typically, I’d just be like, “Meh,” on something like this. But, after Papsmear, Nicola could have very easily played the “Diplomat Barbie” and given Antonia a follow on Instagram. But, she didn’t, which signals to me that Nicola wasn’t touching Antonia with an invisible 10-foot pole. Second, if you watch the back-and-forth between Nicola and Antonia on social media – in black and white, pen on paper – you’ll see Nicola playing the cat-and-mouse game right along with Antonia (Nicola just played it a helluva lot better). It even appears Nicola sicced her – what my father calls JVN – “assassin” on Antonia starting around July 20 or, at the very least, she condoned JVN teasing Antonia. If everything was great between Luke and Antonia – and Luke was genuinely happy with Antonia – why would Luke put up with the back-and-forth on social media between Antonia, Nicola, and JVN? Oh, that’s right, because Luke is the corrupt captain of the USS Lutonia.  Seriously, if all was well between Luke and Antonia at this point in the timeline, then you’d have to surmise that all was not well between Luke and Nicola. We will get to that in a moment. Right now, aboard the USS Lutonia, Luke is just a lousy boyfriend.

Lastly – and what has always left me scratching my head – why would Luke allow Antonia to troll his fandom? Why allow Antonia to make insinuations online that they’re together but never come to her rescue when the fandom starts flinging shit at her? In my opinion, the InStyle copycat pictures (go read my last blog entry…) were just Antonia getting her feet wet. Why continue to put up with Antonia after allegations began flying that she arranged Papsmear and the Italy pap pictures? I suppose the answer most Lutonias would give is, “Because they’re in love.” With everything I have outlined in this entry, do you honestly get the “in love” vibe from those two? Because I don’t.

Now, why did I draw parallels between Luke and the book character, Maxim? It’s not because I believe Luke to be a male chauvinist so wrapped up in his own drama that he ignores those around him. The USS Lutonia will definitely paint that impression, though! It’s because Maxim’s demeanor was superficial. What the Unnamed Narrator believed was true about her husband was not actually true. And, that’s how I view the USS Lutonia – Luke’s behavior and the narrative surrounding this ship does not match the logic.

JAKE AS JACK FAVELL

Sorry, Jake, you get to be the icky Jack Favell. Yeah, that manipulative, blackmailing creep sleeping with his own cousin! But, hey, that subplot isn’t any more disturbing than Jake being shipped with Nicola, is it?

Alright, let’s jump on board the USS Jakola but not before I preface this section with my father’s flabbergasted words: “This ship is on the bottom of the ocean. These people must have oxygen masks. They’re down there with Jules Verne. This just doesn’t make sense.” No, it really doesn’t make sense but, because I’m here to tell a story, I will begrudgingly dive into the USS Jakola narrative. And, by “dive,” I mean plunge to the bottom of the ocean because that’s where this ship rests.

Just like we did with the USS Lutonia, we are going to assume the USS Jakola is real. The Jakolas believe that Nicola has been seeing Jake since, I guess, the Renegade Nell premiere on or about March 26, 2024. Although, the last I checked Eamon Farren was also at that premiere holding an umbrella for Nicola. I am not confirming Nicola was ever dating Eamon; I am simply saying he was present at the event and holding a fucking umbrella for her. You can make up your own mind about Eamon’s role in Nicola’s life. Regardless, it must have been an instant connection between Nicola and Jake because, if the Jakola narrative is to be believed, they began secretly dating after that. The Jakolas will argue that all the songs Nicola posted to her Instagram stories were for Jake. The Claddagh ring has no traditional meaning when Nicola wears it, and Chaos Week was also for Jake (and a “fuck you” to Luke). The Lukola-coded fan fiction was a “fuck you” to the Lukola fandom (see my “Entry 10 – The One About the Audibly Loud Lukola FanFic”). And, Jake and Nicola are in love and have hard launched their relationship because (a) Jake has been seen wearing Nicola’s bucket hat, (b) they have been seen in public together, and (c) they occasionally hold hands.

I’m not going to lie – for the longest time I didn’t pay any attention to the USS Jakola because it was such an incredibly absurd concept to me. A few weeks back, I posted to my Tumblr account a music video that Jake had done in early 2023. The song is called “Mixed Emotions” by You Me at Six, and the article that came out with the video on February 7th, 2023 stated, “With Jake Dunn who played the protagonist in the video who is actually a friend of mine, we actually spoke a lot about toxic masculinity and his experiences within his sexuality and the impacts it has had on his relationship with his dad.” It honestly never occurred to me the USS Jakola actually had passengers on board until October when the Jakholes went bananas over Nicola holding Jake’s hand. In my opinion – and you do not have to agree with me – the music video speaks for itself as does Jake’s social media presence, whether it be on his own pages or on those of his friend group. I’m sure I’ll get some Jakholes in here crying that we shouldn’t speculate on Jake’s sexuality, but the reality is the only people speculating on Jake’s sexuality are the Jakolas trying to discern whether he’s heterosexual. But, why doesn’t he just come out and say it? I get this question all the time. The answer is quite simple – he doesn’t need to. Jake never buried this part of his life; it’s other people burying it for him. Do you need to blast your sexual preferences out into the universe? I didn’t think so.

For shits and giggles – because that’s what I’m here for – let’s keep going with the story that Nicola and Jake are hot and heavy with each other. I’ll play center field and say Jake is a switch hitter. Happy now? If Jakola is real, then why would Nicola lay all those Lukola-coded breadcrumbs? And, NO, I am not explaining every crumb she’s dumped online. This post is already too damn long. But, Dear Jakolas, don’t tell me those coordinated airplane pictures didn’t have you crying into your pillows. Seriously, though, why would Nicola fuck with the Lukola fandom? I’ve mentioned in previous posts that Polin and Lukola have even been blurred by Netflix & Co. at this point. What would be the point of dragging the Lukolas along only to find out it was Nicola just fucking around? That makes about as much sense as “nice guy” Luke being the shittiest boyfriend on the planet. Again, the narrative does not fit the logic – although you’re welcome to try to convince me that Jakola is real.

For starters, convince me as to why Nicola is Jake’s “type” and not Luke’s. I am not being factitious. I seriously want to know why she’s acceptable for Jake but not Luke. And, if you’re going to tell me it’s because Luke likes brunettes, you better bring me some evidence that Jake likes blonde women.

Convince me that the Claddagh ring has no traditional significance to Nicola and that Jake would be okay with Nicola wearing that Claddagh ring – the one she had made in honor of Bridgerton Season 3, the season she shared with the man that fills her Instagram grid and tags and is the other half of Lukola. If you’re stuck on the significance of this ring, go read “Entry 6 – The One Where I Explained the Claddagh Ring to My Dad.”

Convince me that Nicola and Jake are a couple. And, if you’re going to mention handholding, then convince me that Nicola is not in a relationship with Mark, JVN, Jack R., Golda, Hannah D., Dylan L., or Luke. Oh, and is it true Jake is now dating Ellie Bamber? Convince me he’s not…

Any ways, good luck, babe, trying to sway me into believing Jakola is the real deal because I have a feeling your efforts are going to make your face become as flushed as Jack Favell’s when he was caught with his hand in the till.

NICOLA AS REBECCA

Surely you didn’t think Nicola was going to be the heroine of this story! If you believe the USS Lutonia and USS Jakola are smoothly sailing across the ocean blue, then the only role Nicola could reasonably play is that of the story’s villain – Rebecca. Yes, Rebecca was a bad, bad girl. She was manipulative and intentionally cruel; a Bitch with a capital “B.” She haunted poor Maxim and controlled Mrs. Danvers and Jack like a master puppeteer. She also tortured the Unnamed Narrator from her watery grave.

Seriously, though, let’s turn the tables. Let’s pretend Lutonia and Jakola are real. Starting, say, April 29, Nicola started trolling Antonia by dropping Luke-coded material online and really started ramping up those doe-eyed looks in Luke’s direction. Remember all that cute BTS? Perfectly timed to make it look like Antonia was trolling her when in reality Nicola was trolling Antonia! Unbeknownst to Luke, Nicola commissioned that Claddagh ring and started wearing it to make it look like she was in a relationship with Luke. She even organized a side jaunt over to Galway to introduce Luke to – surprise! – her mother! But, after being rejected by Luke – because he really is in love with Antonia (the USS Lutonia is blasting its horn right about now) – Nicola – YES, Nicola! – set up Papsmear to ruin Luke. I mean, if he wasn’t going to be her boyfriend, he sure as shit wasn’t going to be anyone else’s! All summer Nicola waited for Luke, but he’d gone into hiding, scared to surface because Nicola might find him! After growing tired of waiting for Luke, Nicola got her assassin, JVN, to start trolling Antonia online, that way Nicola could put all her efforts into finding and trolling Luke. She set up Chaos Week. She trolled him on the airplane. But, she needed help (after all she had so many other events and awards shows this summer) so she enlisted her unwitting accomplice, Jake! Jake helped her set up that Lukola FanFic to remind Luke of what could have been. But, nothing was working so Nicola upped the ante and volunteered Jake to be her confused boyfriend. “Luke…Luke…” I can still hear her desperate cries being carried like ashes in the wind…

SEE!  I can do it, too – make up total bullshit to fit whatever narrative I please!!!

Yeah, yeah, maybe I went a bit too far (I warned you I had a dark sense of humor) but, honestly, I believe the only way the USS Lutonia and USS Jakola could stay afloat is if Nicola is the villain. She doesn’t even have to be a super villain. She just needs to be disingenuous enough to alienate Luke, terrorize Antonia, manipulate Jake, and mislead an entire fandom. Lucky for her, I don’t believe Nicola to be a real-life Rebecca. If you need an explanation as to why, then you didn't watch the same World Tour as me and you’re clearly on the wrong side of the fandom.

In truth, I believe the real villain to be…

YOU AS THE UNNAMED NARRATOR

Now, now, calm down. I’m not calling you out – at least not individually. I’m calling all of us out.

We as a fandom are the Unnamed Narrators of Lukola, Jakola, and Lutonia. We built these ships, and we control whether they stay afloat.

We took the narrative out of Luke and Nicola’s hands the moment we launched the USS Lutonia. Then we had to go and build the USS Jakola – I guess, because we were bored. No matter how hard Luke and Nicola try to pull the narrative back under their control, we allow side characters to feed us their side of the story! We fill our bellies with their nonsense and then vomit it all over the deck of the USS Lukola.

Seriously, we are the villains in this story. And, collectively, we are one bloody powerful super villain, aren’t we?

We control the narrative. So, if there’s a narrative you don’t agree with – for example, one that doesn’t make sense to you – stop being Conscientiously Stupid and feeding into it.

Remember what I said earlier? If you see Mrs. Danvers with a lit match, blow that fucker out! Otherwise, you’re going to let that bitch burn down the whole goddamn house.

[sophsicle]

okay, hold my drink *hands u cursed ancient goblet full of mead* i gotta talk my shit for a second.

ive been seeing a lot of severus snape love recently. and this is fine, obviously, y'all can love whomever you want. but. i need to rant or i will explode. if we're talking about canon. severus snape spends his adult years, seven books of it in fact, abusing children. and his excuse for this is the girl he loved (tho not enough not to join a group actively trying to exterminate her) fell for the hot jock instead of him (a tragedy indeed, i weep 4 him, i really do). and also she died, which, admittedly is very sad.

it is simply crazy 2 me 2 look at that and think *romance* or *genuine care and affection*. LIKE. fo real. snape calls her a slur in public, apologizes in private, hangs out with dudes who commit hate crimes against her friends (CANONICALLY, she says "you've been hanging out with that douchebag Mulciber, how could you do that after what he did to Mary???" this is not a direct quote but like, it's close enough). lame. loser behaviour.

"Oh but what about regulus" i can hear you say "he loves James potter but snape doesn't love lily???" well. idk. maybe. bit different tho, innit? due to james not being the demographic regulus is attacking (which doesn't make regulus a better person but does make the dynamic between him and james different). ALSO. Regulus chooses to turn against voldemort without hope for anything in return. snape doesn't seem to give a shit about voldemort, he's just sad he's not gonna get to bang lily evans. he switches sides for that reason alone. also doesn't care about what happens to her husband or her son which like. considering lily would be pretty fucking destroyed if they died. once again points to my whole, he doesn't really give a shit about her, theory. lame. loser. behaviour.

also. im sorry. I"M SORRY. but what snape does to neville? to hermione? to harry? gross. a grown ass man out here telling an eleven year old neville he's worthless or hermione she's ugly and annoying. or spilling harry's potion and refusing to grade him for it???????????????

reg and draco are children when we see them at peak suckage and therefore they feel like they can be redeemed much more compellingly (CAN be, not SHOULD be, not HAVE to be, just narratively i think they are easier to turn into interesting, sympathetic characters). but snape? snape grows up into a garbage adult. like he doesn't get better. and again, the only real excuse we're given is his obsession with lily. not very demure. not very cutesy.

ALSO. yall remember that time he got a destitute, struggling Remus Lupin fired from the best job he ever had just because he felt like it? remember that time snape weaponized Remus's lycanthropy and people's prejudice against him just cause. like. literally just cause??? his ego was bruised after the shrieking shack incident so he was like "get wrecked Lupin I'm going to tell everyone your secret so you will be forced back out onto the streets" DO YALL REMEMBER THAT BITCH ASS MOVE????????? THAT HE DID AS A FULL ADULT.

IN CONCLUSION, this is silly and, of course, like i said at the start, everyone can have their own thoughts and feelings about characters, but i simply needed to interject here on behalf of snape haters everywhere because i feel like so much of snape's shitty behaviour as an adult during a time when he was really under no duress and was very safe and cozy, is ignored. and my hater heart just cannot let that stand.

[sunderwight]

With moshang I think I'm equally fond of the possibilities/concepts where either Shang Qinghua is ludicrously attractive to demons in a broad sense (but doesn't realize it), or, where Shang Qinghua is just some weird little gremlin and everyone else cannot wrap their head around why THE Mobei Jun is so smug about seducing this man.

Or a combination, where no demon in their right mind would ordinarily look at Shang Qinghua and perceive a sex icon, but because such a high-ranking demon has clearly done so, they go "well there must be SOMETHING going on there" and then look closer and before they know it they're on the slippery slope to being horny about a guy who could help file their taxes or arrange to have their clan base's faulty plumbing fixed.

Basically it's all good. Demons en mass going "yeah yeah big scary dudes who punch good are a dime a fucking dozen around here, but do you know how hot someone who can skillfully use an abacus is?" vs demons going "the ice king is a respectable ruler but he has garbage taste in men, we all just smile and politely nod while he insists the weird rat guy he fixated on as a teenager is a catch" vs demons going "I really don't see the appeal -- wait he did what? he killed how many guys at once with 1 trick? he betrayed WHOMST? and lived?! and he knows how to get my door to stop making horrible squeaky noises?! okay yeah figures the king would marry him" but every option is a winner.

I'm also a big fan of both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua being not very attractive to demons in general, but it also being really common for demons to get super weird about first crushes and fixate hard on them, so in that sense they are completely normal choices for a couple of high-level demons to marry. Like the demon populace can appreciate the emperor actually landing his hot teacher and the king successfully marrying his teenage sweetheart. It's an idealized fantasy in terms of the scenarios, even if the actual guys are just weird humans. Nearly every average demon has lifelong daydreams about successfully seducing their first crush, so regardless of who those crushes turned out to be it's still a power move for LBH and MBJ to actually succeed.

Bonus if the fact that both SQQ and SQH are peak lords from the same sect leads to a bunch of demon kids developing crushes on the other remaining, unattached peak lords, and chaos ensuing. Especially for Liu Qingge. I think it would be funny for him to gain a flock of teenage demons with crushes, whom he keeps trying to fight off, only to discover that beating them up does NOT discourage them at all (actually makes the crushes worse). Or Yue Qingyuan getting mobbed like he's a pop star any time he makes a diplomatic visit to the demon realms. Sha Hualing deciding that she's just waiting for Liu Mingyan to become a peak lord before they make things official, since That's Obviously How It's Done, or Qi Qingqi doing a head count one day and realizing she suddenly has a bunch of unfamiliar "guest" disciples who sigh at her a lot and have funny-colored eyes...

[timdrakesbussy]

Some of my™ Stardew Valley HCs

TW: mention of miscarriages

Emily listens to all kinds of music but despite not looking like it, she mainly listens to heavy metal. It's one of the thing that brought her and Shane's early friendship together. And because of that, Haley shares a bit of fondness to the genre that she enjoys Sam's band (but don't tell him. this will mess with her rep).

Sam is pretty educated when it comes to literature, and English was always his favorite subject when he was in school. He's the main songwriter of his band and while Sebastian could also write, Sam manages to be witty and clever with his lyrics. Other than storytelling through song, he loves his double and triple entendres. Suffice to say, he could get along pretty well with Elliott and it's one of the reason why Penny loves hanging out with him.

Ever since she was a child, Maru thinks that Sebastian is really cool and she wants to be like him one way or another. Of course, she still wants to be herself but Sebastian is just so damn cool. During her time at school, she made herself learn how to ride a motorcycle using a friend's bike because she knew Sebastian would never lend her his.

Elliott was from an esteemed family from a foreign land (just Stardew's equivalent of Europe tbh) and was a licensed lawyer until he stopped to be a writer. Needless to say, his family are not happy by this sudden decision. Not that he needs their opinion on the matter, he was pushing thirty when he made this decision.

Harvey was an ER doctor in Zuzu City until the incident™. He knew that with his line of job, he can't save everyone. However, he can't help but feel guilty and terrible afterwards. Which is why he has routine check-ups for the villagers, and if they can't visit him, then he will visit them. You cannot escape him because he will find you (affectionate).

Both Haley and Alex believed that at one point, they actually liked each other romantically. But when they had their first kiss together, they realized that they weren't meant to be. They have this deep platonic connection that even Emily doesn't really understand, but she's happy that her baby sister have someone she can rely on and trust for all her life.

Robin takes pride in her name even if her parents weren't supportive over her work at first. She have Sebastian share her last name, and when she married Demetrius, she hyphenated their surnames instead of just taking his.

Demetrius and Sebastian were close when he was a child. Sebastian was an overly curious and precocious boy and Demetrius was happy that he could share something with his stepson, their interest in biology. Although Sebastian was squeamish and even almost cried when he dissected a frog, he managed to calm him down. And even after their mutual parting as Sebastian grew older, he's the only one who knows what Demetrius' favorite animal is: moonlight jellies.

Jodi and Kent were teenagers when they had Sam. Jodi came from a highly conservative and religious family so they forced them to marry after Jodi gave them the news that she was pregnant. As they were teens, Kent took any odd jobs he could get in the city, from a corner-store clerk to a garbage man. Until he got offered into joining the military.

Pam was a trucker before she became a bus driver. In fact, she met Penny's dad in the business. But in her childhood, she was in multiple beauty pageants and even into her adulthood, she knows how to hairdo. She helped Penny with her hair since she was a child and hope that she could still do Penny's hair in her future wedding, whenever that is.

Alex's mom had multiple miscarriages before she have him, and that was into her ten years of marriage. She was beyond ecstatic with his birth that she immediately called her aging parents who also shared her happiness, they then invited her to the Valley a few days after Alex was born so they could celebrate in the Mullners' house. Lewis heard about the news and asked if they wanted to celebrate in the Saloon in which Evelyn denied because Clara wanted a small celebration with just her family.

Abigail is the only marriageable candidate to be born in the Valley. Sebastian moved in not long after Maru was born so he was close to her as he was the only child her age at that time. Penny moved in when she was seven with her parents until her dad left when she was ten. Haley moved in when she was ten years old while Sam moved in a year after. Alex often visited his grandparents but he officially moved in after Clara's death in his pre-teens. The rest moved in as adults.

Similarly to Alex, Shane only ever visited and stayed for a while in the Valley until he needed to take care of Jas. He wasn't close with his parents and they never tried to be anyways, Marnie is always the mother figure he has. So other than Marnie and Jas, the only people he considered as his family was Jas' parents. Her father, whom he met and befriended in college (as he was his roommate, before they mutually dropped out) and her mother whom he wasn't very close to at first until they both find comradery in bullying (affectionate) Jas' father.

[matsudashusband]

some NSFW modern!jean kirstein headcanons 4 you!

you've been warned. 18+, MDNI. afab reader in mind, but no specific gendered terms or genitals mentioned. ky, if you're reading this, no, you're not.

-crazy one to open on tbh but jean probably had a yoinking addiction while he was going through puberty (as I'm sure a lot of people did), as a result of this, he doesn't like to focus on his pleasure in the bedroom as an adult.

like seriously, he begs you not to let him cum.

-it's probs a bit of a kink within itself, to be denied most of the time, but he's worried about going back to his old ways, so he doesn't let himself cum a lot...BUT...that's not to say he isn't getting pleasure from watching you get off.

-the first few times you had sex with him, he's a fumbling mess. can't think straight, for a second forgets how to put a condom on, sweatier than usual, but all of this is so hot in its own way. the way he blushes the whole time and holds your hand is something he never lost, even as the two of you grew more comfortable with each other's touch.

-jean prioritizes your comfort over anything else. this is a fact, and you cannot change my mind on this. he always tells you "comfort first, pleasure second," and this is a non-negotiable rule with him in the bedroom.

-jean loves loves loves any position where he can see your face and kiss you, but he mostly likes to see your face because it's easiest to read how you're doing. if we're still rolling with the emt!jean headcanons (that never leave my brain), jean is going to be very good at reading people's pain or discomfort levels. that being said, having medical knowledge is a plus for him. he knows all the spots to touch to make you feel comfortable and hot at the same time.

-in the same vein, verbal yes or no consent is so important to jean (AND SHOULD BE TO ALL OF YOU!!), "sure" "I guess" and "yeah" don't count to him. jean needs a verbal yes or no.

-missionary (as basic as it is) is his favorite. he also loves when you ride him, but if you're like me and your knees can't stand that, he doesn't want you to be in pain in any way, so he usually likes to take charge.

-jean would be a switch with a softdom lean to me, and often doesn't enjoy going rough. he loves to take his time to build up your pleasure. file your complaints with the complaint department if you disagree. *holds up garbage can*

-it took some tries to get going down on you right, working out what specifically makes you cum, but once he figured it out with a little help from your communication, he's an absolute god at it.

-as for kinks, jean is open to trying most things that don't involve genuinely hurting you, however, in terms of what he enjoys, he's pretty vanilla. (but I feel like he loves being choked-)

-lastly, for aftercare, jean is the best. snacks? you got em. water? hydrate or die straight. comfy clothes or blankets? he's back from the closet with them in no time. cuddles or a hot bath? whatever you need, this man will do it for you. especially if the two of you tried something new kink-wise, aftercare is so important to showing your partner that you genuinely love them.

that's all i got for now, maybe one day I'll do a part two.

[heartfullofleeches]

One fact about each murder clown because I lobe them.

Green Murder Clown has plushies of all of their partners hidden in their dungeon of a bedroom. When they are mad at one of them, they will carry the plush around and talk to it instead of the clown in question. They have chewed eyes and limbs off these doll before. Each one is assigned a scent that brings Green comfort and reminds them of their lovers - Mime Reader's doll is licorice scented.

Orange works part time at a pizzeria in an upper scale section of the city. They eavesdrop on parents getting drunk at the bar for the next best locations for the crew to hit up if they're ever in need of cash. They hate every second of working there, but their boss lets them take home whatever food is made that wasn't purchased so they can't complain too much.

Purple is glued to an old lighter they own. Eats fuel like a motherfucker, but it's the most important thing to them besides the crew. It's the last thing they possess from their previous life. Sometimes they write all the sappy garbage they want to tell Mime and the rest of the crew down only to burn them once they've finished. It's easier than saying "I love you." for them. Being insatiably horny for their partners is the closest they can get to being romantic most days. Let me hit it raw = "I love you and want to be with you for the rest of my days"

Pink is extremely protective of their hair. They wear extravagant wigs because they are pretty and because they are what Pink cannot obtain easily. Pink has short, damaged hair as a result of chemicals put in their hair over the years to make the perfect by those around them. They have too much trauma from this time to see a stylist for help, but they tend to it on their own and feels at peace when their lovers comb or brush it for them.

Red has Cataplexy - triggered mainly by laughter. It is incredibly hard to make them laugh as is and episodes can be far in between, but when they do occur Red may be unable to move or talk. Bouts of silence they have during times the gang are all relaxing together have sometimes been due to this. By now, the remaining clowns can detect when these spells happen and are quick to step in. This is also why they do not drink alcohol.

Blue has back/neck problems from slouching their whole life. They've always been the tallest person in a room and hates stigmas that come with their height. One source for their endless tears is the aches they feel when they stand up straight for too long. Massages or someone sitting on their back relieves some of the pain. They offer to carry Mime often because they love the Mime and they act as a back brace for them.

💛(yellow) is the only murder clown to have work professionally as a clown in the past. It is why they struggle with being around everyone else for long periods of time. It's hard to face genuine, loving smiles when all they've known were fakes. They also feel they do not deserve love despite everyone in the gang having blood on their hands as well. They sleep in vents or under the others' bed because all they ever had to sleep in was an old sleeping bag and as they grew up, it shrank, but the tightness brought them peace. Some days when they're in a manic state, the only thing that can keep them going is being buried beneath the bodies of their lovers in a cuddle pile.

They bail as soon as they're feeling better because touchy is icky unless they say it isn't.

[vaspider]

Since I just turned off reblogs on another post that quickly went from "let's have fun" to "this is fucking awful, I'm taking away this toy," please read this BlueSky thread from rahaeli, who I don't think is on here.

Most of it I've c/p for ease of readability bc BSky's threading sucks.

Okay, it's time again to talk about what the experience of having a social media account with a bunch of followers (*) is like. (* "a bunch" of followers is platform dependent. I'm getting irritating shit at 2k on Bluesky I didn't get until 10k on Twitter.)

(Ugh, wait, nevermind, I hit 3k while I wasn't looking. Anyway.) Someone who has never had more than 100 followers literally cannot comprehend the sheer volume of the responses you get. Even if individual posts don't get a ton of replies, if you post with any frequency, it accumulates.

Once you hit the first degradation threshold, your experience gets a little bit shittier. It's overwhelming volume, but the people who are following you are mostly ideologically, socially, and culturally aligned to you. You have the same concept of social media manners.

You'll get a few duplicate comments, because nobody reads the comments before they reply, but they're mostly from cool people, so you just roll your eyes a little at the same joke five times. You still make friends. You still have fun and can wind up finding neat new people.

And then those neat new people retweet your stuff, and it starts reaching out to an audience of people who are less aligned with what you think of as social media manners. You start getting some replies you find obnoxious: they're in good faith, you can tell, but they just grate on you sometimes.

And then *those* people start reposting your more viral threads, and you get people following you who are three degrees of separation from the people you are most likely to vibe with. And three degrees of separation is the second degradation threshold.

The second degradation threshold is where you start getting the constant, low-grade sand-in-a-pearl annoyances. The person who wants to argue with everything. The 15 people making the identical shitty "joke" that's actually just doing the exact thing you're complaining about, "ironically".

The people who look at a post that contains no question marks and think "there is an implied question here and I will answer it!" and leap to offer the most basic advice that you already thought of because you have existed for more than three seconds and can, in fact, think of the obvious answers.

The people who are spoiling for a fight no matter what, because you used one word in the post that is their particular berserk button and they're going to scream at you for hating waffles because you said you like pancakes even though you never mentioned waffles.

It is constant. It is never-ending. You cannot escape it. Every time you post anything at all, opening the app means wading through twenty garbage replies for every reply from someone who is actually cool and you'd vibe with just fine if you chatted with them.

You want to bitch about a minor annoyance? There will be 40 people all giving you the same useless advice. You want to squee about something you're enjoying that's making you happy? There will be 40 people coming to scold you because that thing isn't morally pure enough.

Every post. Every day. About 75% of the time you compose a post, you will get halfway through writing it and think "I can't deal with the replies this will get today" and delete it. You stop talking about things you enjoy, because you're tired of people shitting on them.

You stop complaining about the tiny annoyances in your life that you want to bitch about, because weirdly enough you already HAVE tried the first fifteen obvious suggestions you're going to get, and you don't want to spend an hour explaining why they won't work to everyone who's "helping".

(But you can't just ignore the "helpful" posts and not engage with them, because then you start getting accusations of being "elitist" and "standoffish" and jesus, lady, we're just trying to help here, why do you have to be so fucking rude and stuck-up, you full of yourself bitch.)

If you are any less gracious to the 40th person than that person thinks they deserve, there is a very good chance they're going to call you a cunt and drag allot their friends in to dogpile you and make the site unusable for at least three days.

The third degradation threshold is when you start needing to regularly call your local police department and politely remind them there are people who get very mad at you online and will try very hard to have you murdered by armed agents of the state and you'd appreciate it if they didn't do that.

I first had that conversation with my local police department in 2003. It's gotten faster now, at least? You usually don't have to start by explaining what social media even is.

Bluesky has tighter thresholds than Twitter did. On Twitter it was nicely exponential: the breakpoints were around 1k, 10k, 100k. Bluesky is running faster. I'm getting Twitter 10k annoyances at a Bluesky 3k. I am trying very, very hard not to switch over into Twitter 10k defensive posting.

I want to leave the defensive posting back on Twitter. I really do. I want to be able to bitch about a thing without having to wade through 20 "go try [extremely obvious thing]". I want to post about a thing I enjoy without 20 people yelling at me I'm bad for enjoyjng it.

There's a difference between arguing about an idea (which I love) and the onslaught of constantly infuriating replies plucking at your last goddamn nerve. And the more "last goddamn nerve" replies you get, the crankier you are, and then people lose their shit at you because you snapped at them.

So maybe let's all start keeping a few principles in mind: 1) if there's more than one reply, check to see if your point has already been covered. If it has, you don't need to repeat it.

2) Even the funniest joke gets old after the 20th time you hear it in 3 hours.

3) "I'm going to jokingly do the exact thing you just were complaining about because ha ha the real joke is I would never do that asshole thing" is never funny, and it is indistinguishable from you actually doing the asshole thing.

4) If there is no question mark in the tweet, think twice about offering "helpful" advice unless you and the poster know each other *mutually*, not just parasocially, you know it's likely to be new info for them, and you ask "do you want to hear how I handle this?" first and get an affirmative.

5) If you are going to ignore 4, ask yourself "is this a suggestion that someone with a reasonable level of generalized adult knowledge would think of trying within the first 15 minutes of approaching the problem?" If so, do not suggest it.

6) Do you really need to nitpick that grammar, spelling, or word choice? Did you understand what they were trying to say before autocorrect mangled it or they blanked on the exact word they wanted and found a close one? If you understood the meaning, don't be their volunteer copyeditor.

7) Is someone excited about a thing you hate? Are they having fun with the thing? Is the thing a front for white supremacist recruiting or organizing the overthrow of the US government? If the answers are yes, yes, and no, respectively, shut the fuck up and let people enjoy things.

8) We are all occasionally That Commenter. If someone you have a pre-existing relationship with replies to you and lets you know you're being That Commenter, it's because they have a positive enough impression of you they don't want to go straight to block. Treat this like the warning sign it is.

9) It deserves repeating: remember the Law of Large Numbers. Even if you only commented once, you may be the hundredth irritating comment that person got that day. Bluesky's terrible threading makes this worse: people don't keep a single thread of mounting crankiness the way they did on Twitter.

9a) If someone's top tweet sounds really annoyed at something, maybe check their timeline or follow back their nested self-QTs to see what level of irritable they're at and over what so you don't step straight on the same rakes they've been dodging all day.

10) However, remember that BSky also doesn't show replies made by people the OP has blocked in a thread. If they post about a pattern that's making them cranky and you look and don't see anything, they probably already blocked the worst of it. They still saw it in their mentions in order to block.

I really cannot overstate how absolutely exhausting and soul-destroying the experience of having a large account can be. It's also somehow still rewarding, or we wouldn't do it. But especially if you're a woman or a person of color or a female POC, that balance is really, really close most days.

And of course, the ones who stay are the ones who do find it still rewarding enough to keep doing it despite the constant irritations.

From here, the thread moves into a conversation about stuff specific to BlueSky, but the majority of the thread is truly applicable to Tumblr as well.

You may be the first person to comment "op lives on a planet without music," or "op has never heard of [thing OP didn't mention for whatever reason]," but you're probably not, and at a certain point, it becomes like someone tapping a sunburn.

So yeah.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hello! Could you do a SFW one with Alastor, Vox, Velvett, or others (separately) with a blind fem reader?

Ooh! Okay! I def can! Idk if you want it romantic or not but even so, let’s just see where this actually really cool idea takes us, shall we!

Alastor

Alastor doesn’t really react much to when he discovers you’re blind. Well… that happens to people doesn’t it, though, he isn’t sure how you’re still blind, even coming into Hell. He was short-sighted as a human and now, it’s completely cured. Why are you so different?

Alastor won’t treat you like you’re helpless and unable to fend for yourself. He’ll only jump in when he thinks you genuinely need some support. He is a good boyfriend like that and he is happy to make radio effect noises to draw you back to him when you need the subtle push

Alastor is the type to accompany you everywhere, no questions asked. He’ll bring you place to place and let you feel around so you get familiar with the Hotel’s layout but most of the time, he’ll escort you where you need to go so you don’t get lost. He just wants to protect you… all the time, everytime

Alastor respects you. You have a genuine disability but yet, you never let it bother you nor does it hinder you so much, that you need a constant caretaker. You’re a lady of skill and diligence, you’ve accomplished so much. He’s proud and he likes to brag about his blind girlfriend being better than anybody else’s own normal girlfriend, even over his broadcasts

You bet your supple ass Alastor wants and tries to cure your disability. As much as he believes you’re beautiful the way you are, he’d prefer you be able to see so you don’t have to suffer all the time and he brings this up with you as much as he possibly can

Vox

Vox is kinda meh about the whole fact you’re blind. He doesn’t like it but that also doesn’t mean he’d bully you for it. He’s kinda more disguising ‘I am worried’ under annoyance. He pretends to be annoyed by the fact you can’t see but in his mind, he’s worried you’ll get lost

Vox always has people escort you around, when he himself cannot, he needs you safe and he even hires security to ensure no random stranger can put their hands on you when you least suspect it. As his beloved but sadly disabled girlfriend, you’re safety is his top priority, alongside comfort when you are safe

Vox is kinda— no, very babying. To be honest, he babies you a lot because of your blindness. He is caring and he is doting, behind closed doors and he wants to ensure you’ll be taken care of so he babies you in all ways because of your disability. He’ll feed you, he’ll bring you to the bathroom, he’ll sleep with you

Vox always wants to hold your hand. It’s for both of you; for you to get familiar with his feeling and for him to know you’re right there and not going anywhere. Vox also doesn’t mind letting you feel his TV head, whatever helps you always recognise him, he’s happy with it

Vox, like Alastor and Velvette, brags about you but he brags about you on his television show, so live on the worldwide web. He’ll brag about everything you’re gone through and even announce you, proclaim you’re the better than any girl in Hell and that you’re hotter than any other girl in Hell

Velvette

Velvette, for a critical and judgy woman, cannot bring herself to judge you for your disability. Yeah, she is the one who dislikes it the most since it means you’re stupid(Velvette mindset) but she doesn’t want to throw any garbage at the woman she really likes

Velvette likes to dress you. That way, you don’t have to worry about feeling on your clothing and she can make sure you always match her, stay up trends and be stylish. You’ll be the most beautiful lady in the Pride Ring and she’ll enjoy posting pictures of you online

Velvette actually feels really sorry for you so she offers her help regularly. She’ll offer her help for the smallest things, your echolocation isn’t working and you’re more than a bit stuck, she’ll be right there with her phone playing so you can always find her incase you two seperate but she’ll have your hand in hers

Velvette as the, backbone of the Overlord Vs, is more than willingly to get into a fight to protect you. Protect you from the minor disablist down the street to actual exterminators. She’ll never let anything put their hands on you and she’ll even fend off Vox and Valentino to leave you alone. She wants to be the only one touching you

Velvette will make sure you associate social media to herself so when you hear memes or music or a uploaded video, that means Velvette is nearby and she is very proud when she watches you approach her and cuddle her

[tanadrin]

I know you're against politicians "poll-chasing" when campaigning and trying to angle for the median voter, and I wanted to try to distinguish between several possible motivations for this view. Is the idea that a politician or party should have the skill to make their ideas popular even if they aren't? Is it that, even if some idea is unpopular, being inauthentic is going to be even more unpopular? Is it the long-term view — unpopular now, but that will change? Is it that polls are too garbage?

it's not that changing people's opinion is some arcane or difficult skill, it's that "public opinion" is a nebulous and nearly-incoherent thing to begin with that is highly responsive to what politicians say and do to make issues salient and how their behavior drives everything from news coverage to everyday political discourse. how people respond to opinion polls is highly contextual, based on the percieved political salience of issues, their percieved political valence, how they've been talking about them to their friends lately, what they see on social media, etc., etc. our opinions are not primary in a causal sense; they are constantly reconstructed by social discourse and by social avenues of knowledge, and in the modern era that absolutely includes mass media (and especially social media).

the idea that there is a static (or at least highly stable) public opinion you can triangulate, that you can build a policy slate based on that opinion, and that you can use the substantive proposals in that policy slate that are popular with voters to win elections is a fantasy. it does not work! you cannot do it! that is not how voters form their opinions or how political messaging actually works in the world we inhabit! if it was, kamala harris would have won a crushing victory in 2024. you can try to add epicycles to this by saying, well, harris was percieved as less moderate than trump was and so on and so forth, but at a certain point you have to admit that discourse about politics is frequently orthogonal to policy, and that it can even completely occlude the actual words coming out of candidate's mouths when they appear on the teevee.

inauthenticity can certainly hurt a politician--the focus-grouped-to-death messaging of many democratic politicians gets written off as so much noise because, well, it is: it contains very little new information and you could probably copy it by rote by just repeating a few stock phrases. and one reason that trump can drive outsized news coverage and increase his salience to voters is that he says unusual and (in terms of news coverage and social media posts and the like) interesting things.

but trump is not authentic--he's full of shit! he lies constantly! the actual words that come out of his mouth are incoherent! and yet he is still inherently more interesting than most other politicians just because he does not sound like a politician who is terrified of pissing anybody off or of having an opinion (even if it is an insane one). other politicians have this capacity, too--aoc, for instance. most human beings have this capacity, in fact, but politicians often pay political consultants lots of money to make them act in stupid ways and that kind of beats it out of them after a couple of decades in congress.