#It´s not a failure to not be able to understand when it involves something as personal like being hurt and hurt back a loved one

[marvelstars]

Obi-Wan's Reaction to Anakin's Redemption (LEGENDS)

"Vader grabbed the Emperor forcing the deathly lighting to fall away from Luke and crashed down upon both Sith Lords(himself and the Emperor). Vader carried his master across the room and hurled him down into the reactor shaft a moment later the Emperor exploded into a great release of dark energy.

Had Obi-Wan´s spirit not witnessed Vader´s actions he never would have believed. Vader, the same monster that Obi-Wan had left to die on Mustafar had sacrificed himself to save his Son and succedenly Obi-Wan realized where he had failed for unlike Luke Obi-Wan had not only believed that Anakin was completely consumed by the darkside but actually refused to believe that any goodness could have remained within Vader and by refusing to allow that possibility he had condemned not only his friend and former apprentice but his own capacity for hope.

Fortunately, ObiWan thought, Luke´s unwavering faith in his father´s inner goodness had proved to be an stronger force than the power of the darkside. Obi.-Wan realized that he had never been ready to forgive Anakin and that Anakin would never be free until he did.

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message about you stand out in your lovers' eyes, your toxic traits in love, and what about you sexually, do your romantic interests' find unforgettable.

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Pile One ♡

What makes your love irreplaceable?

Alexis Isley - Into Orbit

"Cold hands, warm heart" Your touch is something that your lovers (past, present, and future) fail to find in someone else. It permeates their mind how you're able to reach them in ways that are both tangible and intangible. There's a pattern with the partners that you attract. Before you, they carried this eeriness around them, something that made them feel broken to pieces. To them, they see you as this mad scientist that electrifies them to back to life. A provider with a mystique that's so enchanting and profound as they witness you making the impossible, possible. They find it surreal the way that you meet their needs without them having to verbalize it. When it's emotional—they can find themselves being a sentimental person wanting to accompany their woes with loneliness and space as a sign of strength, but when you're close to them, it becomes a remedy for their sorrows that they felt like they couldn't speak about without being misunderstood or dismissed. Even the chemistry is unmatched, as you both fluent the same humor, but most importantly, you make their peculiarities feel like a commonality, moreover, a reason to be comfortable in this world with themselves. When it's physical; they explore a new meaning of intimacy, as they're welcomed by your hands. The texture of them feels like being caressed by rose petals, velvety to the fingers, but invigorating for the spirit. It's your clasp that makes them, normalize the acceptance of affection, trust that closeness can be a safe antidote, know that they can be confident in their endeavors and in the face of adversity, and understand that the love you have for them isn't an illusion. When it's spiritual—you make them rethink about what they consider "monstrosities". You're angelic in their eyes, but you make sure to assert that there's no place for inferiority or superiority complexes. You embed in their minds that the good that they see in you, can also be found in them, as well as the shadowy traits that they feel like only them alone, can carry. Your presence is a serene, telepathic whisper, that snaps them out of the whirlpool of fears about themselves, an awakening for them to realize that what seems lost or irreparable does not warrant them unlovable.

What are your toxic traits in love?

You could mean well with your attentiveness and affection for others, but unconsciously, you may not be aware of how much you emotionally manipulate others in order to be this precise in making yourself someone that they can be receptive to. Another one, is the martyr complex that you may have, feeling as if you can be the main support system in your romantic interests' lives, which in the end, damages the connection as it becomes held together by codependency, and brings the worst out of your ego and self esteem. The perfectionism with cripple you into believing that your worth lies in being everything for another person, or the love dissipates into possessiveness on both ends, giving "love" because you expect it to be an admission for the other person to only want you, and for the other person to be threatened by you giving your love or just genuine generosity to other people because of stinginess, or failure to realize to the love that they lack in themselves. With love, you want to be absolutely consumed by it, and when you do, you want your partners to be consumed by yours entirely. You could be drawn to only being interested in romantic relationships where passion and emotions are unshackledly intense; especially when it comes to terms involving spiritual connections. You could strongly desire finding a soulmate/twinflame or a connection that "feels" like one, because you have the idea that soul contracts equate to having ownership over a person. This could make you a hopeless romantic that makes you lose the "plot" or the "point" of when something no longer becomes love anymore, but something poisonous. You get caught up with the magic that you feel over someone, or caught up with the magic that you could experience with another person.

What's unforgettable about you sexually?

I see your lovers being double stimulated by you. This pile could attract a lot of munchers, because I'm getting the way that you taste, is an instant aphrodisiac. They can't just package you in a Tupperware bowl and and devour you whenever, so they make sure to savor the encounter longer, by giving you oral sex like you're the last meal they'll ever eat. There isn't anything inherently submissive, or dominant, about the sex you and your partners have because I'm getting that you also bring equity in not just a romantic sense, but sexually too. You find ways where you're both mutually pleasing each other simultaneously, but no one is doing more or less work than the other. Your hands are brought up again in this, by your lovers reminiscing about the way that they feel on their skin. Even their sexual needs feel like you're meeting them telepathically, but this could be the way that you utilize eye contact with the person, knowing where to touch, when to touch, and how to touch during the sexual encounter. I feel like what makes sex with you unforgettable, is the way that you're able to satiate your person with only foreplay. Even when you're in the receiving end for oral sex, it could be the way that you grab their hair during the act, that arouses them, or positions like '69' where you're both able to pleasure each other that the same time. Your hands are again like the holy grail, but it's really sensation play that just want to indulge in, where you aren't just having a rough quickie and then it's done, you're slowly making love by exploring all five senses.

Pile Two ♡

What makes your love irreplaceable?

Minnie Riperton - Baby This Love I Have

You don't half ass anything when it comes to expressing your love through gifts and support. You guys are special at home economics, using every bit of what you have to make something stable and amazing. Effort is just something that you won't waste, and you make sure to look out for everyone. I feel like in romance, your love is like the giants in the solar system, strong, abundant, and reliable—because what your partners (past, present, future) found in you that they can't find in anyone else, is certainty that your love stretches beyond just one thing, which could make them think that you're the perfect person to create a home and start a family with. There's a lot of fertile energy that you have, which could manifest in creativity, because with the gifts that you give to your partners, I'm seeing that they all come from the heart, than simply how much money you've spent. Your gifts to them could be all made by yourself; jewelry, clothing, but also cooking. But you could also in general be "the gift that keeps on giving" with the quality time that you spend with them. Like for instance, being around you, could open them to new perspectives or bring a change to what they thought would be their preferences. They could love how open you are with teaching them the do the things that they feel like they aren't confident about or your interests that differ from theirs. They feel taken cared of by you too, and love how much of a nurturer you are, or you teach them how to nurture their passions and allow their dreams to exist and grow into something more. You could also make your lovers change their minds about wanting kids, or they could just really be in love with the idea of raising kids, if it means you could be the other parent. I feel also feel like witnessing your ambition and love for the things in life outside of what's traditional or being able to find so many good things about life, is what triggers something unique in them that they've never felt with anyone else. You guys could be amazing intention setters, because your love is felt and illuminated in everything that you touch. You could be a soulful cook/baker, but this could also represent how much you infuse or season liveliness into your home, the meals that you cook for your loved ones, the encouragement and comfort that another person needs, the jokes you tell, the advice you give, and any other physical representation that makes your person know that they are appreciated. I taste blueberry waffles, so your love is irreplaceable for your partners because it's a contagious boost. Watching you be in love with living, activates something spiritual in them, to grow and aim for something larger in life besides just revolving around mundane things like chasing money and boring careers.

What are your toxic traits in love?

You are multi-talented, but you could be restless with the idea that you need to have more in order to give to someone, but this feeling of being inadequate could rub off on your partners, they could feel like you expect more from them such as wanting them to be someone that they're not. If you're not with a person that prioritizes their career a lot, then you could be the one that neglects your partner by spending too much time on your career. You have your own personality, beliefs, and wishes, which is an admirable thing, but could create a lot of arguments in your relationships where you aren't compromising for the other person, or you're very dismissive with what the the other person is trying to explain to you. With your insecurities, this could make you prone to making assumptions about what your person thinks about you, or push them away because you have the misconception that someone else would be a better fit for them or that you don't deserve them. In general, I'm getting a lot of indulging in the things that don't matter, like possibly being too concerned about who your partners have dealt with in the past and being in competition with those who aren't in their present life. Your partners feeling unequipped for you, is their personal work that they need to handle on their own, but there are times where you can be demeaning.

What's unforgettable about you sexually?

You guys could be very sexual beings, but not as giving with your body, even if you are in a relationship with someone because I'm picking up mostly your past partners living in regret over fumbling you in some way and are left with frustrations over what they could of had with you sexually. If you're into the occult, they could feel as if you did something un-natural to them. Like you bewitched them for wasting your time in some way, and you get them back by stealing their heart and arousement for eternity. For the people that you actually do have or had sex with, it's your dominance that they never seem to forget about. How you deviously take control over what positions to be in and when and how they will cum. There's something here about your legs, that you tease them with but I'm also getting a lot about scissoring, or wrestling to be on top by flipping your person over with your legs. Maybe you have thick thighs, or your partners feel very comforted by them because I'm seeing positions where they're tightly involved and around their bodies. Your partners could also find your face too beautiful to not be seen in every position, so even if you're turned around when your face is supposed to be the other away, your partners could literally grab/grip your hair, neck, or chin to make sure that they have them angled to where they can see your face. Your partners could also love to have sex with you outdoors, I'm specifically getting during the night time, because of how much they love the way the moonlight or stars glisten on your skin. There's also something about water, not the shower sex kind, but I'm talking bodies of it. This could mean sex on the beach, or literal pool/hot tub/ocean/lake sex. This could also be interpreted as positions where deep penetration is involved, or you being a person that they've felt the closest with in sex, because it feels powerfully tantric.

Pile Three ♡

What makes your love irreplaceable?

The Marías - Care for You

I feel like you're so someone who loves the chase. Your lovers find you irreplaceable because they feel like you're someone that they're not supposed to have. Something about your love to them feels very seductive and illegal, but drives an animalistic urge to fight the odds to get the taste of something bittersweet. This pile is so strange? Like this is supposed to be about love, but the energy of this spread is densely intoxicating 💀 What's going on? I feel that this pile has a way with their lovers that is strongly arbitrary...because this is more about what people are willing to sacrifice for you just because they want to be with you, rather than why. Even if you're not the kind of person that wants to deal with romantic relationships, or is very strict with who you choose to commit to which makes your relationship history slim to none, your inaccessibility puts others in a trance. Maybe it's their lack of experience in love in general, but for some reason, you trigger a curiosity in them, the kind that would potentially kill the cat, but it's a type of unknown that they feel the need to venture. This feels a lot like love at first sight because I keep thinking of "Look at her -- I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way -- what bliss", this is unique for them because what they determine is unexplainable, must be an eternal love, so then they conclude that this strong passion that they have for you is something that's worth and should be fought for to be attained. But this could also mean, your love stands out the most amongst their other partners (past, present, future) because it's the first that they've felt like they should expend all of their resources over. You could be "the one" to a lot of people, but definitely the one that gets away from many. I feel like you aren't the person that gets dumped. You're the person that does the dumping. Unless you break up with a person, they'll be with you till death.

What are your toxic traits in love?

You could be a runner. You run away from having relationships with people maybe out of fear or the fact that you're not interested. This a blockage for you in love, but what makes it toxic, is how you don't convey to people that you want nothing to do with them. I feel like you could really hurt others when you ghost them and make them feel like they weren't worthy of an explanation, because it leaves them in shambles emotionally and mentally. There's also something about indulging over people's obsession with you, even when it's clearly deteriorating them from the inside, or exposing you to unnecessary drama. Your toxic traits could also stem from loving too much of the chase because it gives you an ego boost, some kind of validation at the expense of other people's feelings being toyed with. You cannot control how magnetizing you are, but changing the direction is something that you do have power over. You can become the mermaid or you can either become the siren that lures people to a potential 'death' if you don't assert proper and healthy boundaries. The chemistry that people feel for you shouldn't be abused because you have nothing more to prove, people love you just because, you don't need to have them go through extreme measures to make yourself feel desirable.

What's unforgettable about you sexually?

How you draw people in, is what makes you the most unforgettable. I feel like foreplay and the actual act isn't necessary, there's something here about the way that you dance and strip tease that's iconic. But even during sexual encounters, it's how fluid your body movements are that's really memorable and unmatched. I'm getting a lot of cyber sex. Props, Webcams, and lingerie. I was going to say sexting, but this feels different, a little more visual. Your lovers could really just love watching you, like it pleases them more to watch you play with yourself, perform for them, or even have sex with others in front of them. If the last part resonates, then that could be the reason why I'm getting more messages about your toxic traits. There's this feeling of not wanting to be in a relationship, or throwing your relationships away because they aren't giving enough. I'm literally getting an image of your partner being on their knees, praising you during sexual encounters, so this could represent how much people simp for you but sometimes it's still not enough. If you feel like their attention is elsewhere or that their eyes aren't on you all of the time, then you could do things to make them jealous. There's this misconception of feeling like your partners don't love you, when they really wants what's best for you, even if it means them turning the relationship into something more open because I'm seeing the jealousy tactics backfiring. Like it either doesn't work and they'd want to figure out what the issue is, or it actually does work but it turns into something explosive instead of giving you what you want. You could be very demanding, or give off the impression to your lovers that you're someone who's high maintenance. This could really frustrate them, but in the end they compromise. If that part resonates, then you really need to check in with your self love to help you recognize what is already in front of you, do not make your partners feel like prisoners.

[hazelnut-u-out]

Do you think about the whole Rick Prime thing? Did it kinda feel anticlimactic???

Yeeahhhhhh, but... I think that's the point!

At first, I was a little bit disappointed with how they handled the arc. I really thought Prime was going to be the Big Bad! Having the whole climax of C-137's arc with Prime as a mid-season episode felt oddly... dismissive? It was like it wasn't even a major event.

After sitting on this for a bit, I think I actually love how they've handled it. I think this is the first time I've really seen the show take something that perfectly fills a 'Television Run' format (i.e. big events at the ends of the seasons for cliffhangers, and so on) and subvert those expectations into something more like 'Real Life.' In my opinion, a lot of the show is shown as how characters involved view the events, especially in terms of tonality. That's why so much of the show fits these media formulas-- Rick views his life as a show.

I often refer to the majority of the show as 'Rick's Director's Cut' because we get events skewed from his warped perception of his own actions. (You can even think of 'Morty's Mindblowers' as Rick literally editing footage into a better story.) Of course, we see why he's sympathetic. As the viewer, we understand why he's doing what he's doing, even if we don't agree with it. He views himself as the 'sitcom dad'-- comically fucked up and abusive, but secretly caring. Rick believes that he's got just enough heart for his actions to be excusable, forgetting that the people he hides his intentions from aren't getting the 'full picture' like the viewer is. From Morty's perspective, Rick does these things for no reason-- unless you count not liking, caring about, or valuing Morty. Of course, we know that's not the case, but Morty doesn't. His family doesn't.

The Prime arc is fascinating to me because of the contrast between how Rick viewed it versus how it happened from the perspective of the viewer. Rick went into the Prime arc thinking it would be a massive, badass epic where the underdog comes out on top and the audience is satisfied with the conclusion. As the audience, this is probably the first time we haven't really been able to click with that, you know? It was unsatisfying, even for Rick, and now he's sort of saddled with, 'Oh, shit. This is real life. What comes next?'

Sure, they're little guys on our television screens. To them, though... that's real life. Real life is messy. Real life is unsatisfying. Real life is disappointing, the editing is sloppy, arcs aren't linear, and dysfunction and substance abuse aren't silly character traits.

The whole point is: What happens now?

In real life, what happens after your abusive parent passes away or you finally get revenge on the person who tore your life apart? In real life, what happens after you beat the shit out of the guy who assaulted you? Or after your dad apologizes for walking out on you?

There's actually a Malcolm in the Middle scene reminiscent of this concept. Francis was blamed by Lois from the time he was born for ruining their relationship. Throughout the entire series, his arcs deal with their broken relationship. When she finally apologizes, the pinnacle of his hopes and dreams-- the only thing keeping him alive, it doesn't help. It doesn't fix the years of psychological abuse he suffered, or the fact that he's as broken as he is because of her failure as a parent.

Another great example is in Adventure Time, when Finn thinks he's ripped Martin's arm off for causing him to lose his own. The revenge doesn't help. (Sorry, not digging for a link to the scene lmao.)

Those things aren't satisfying on their own. The fantasies and daydreams we barter through aren't feasible cures. That's real life. What happens afterward is what you do next. That can be a tough pill to swallow. There's no quick 'fix-all' for everything that's fucked you up. What helps? Hard work. Dedication. Time. Therapy. Grief. Acceptance.

Rick never really worked through the grieving process, you know?

There was Denial and Anger:

And where he got stuck... Bargaining:

After Prime's death? Depression:

Four decades later, we're finally on the cusp of Acceptance.

That's what that look into the hole was. That's what putting up Morty's picture was. That's what choosing to walk away was.

Acceptance.

In conclusion of my long-winded rant, I liked the Prime arc. Fits nicely into the season after the finality of 'Fear No Mort.'

Well done, writers.

Thanks for asking! <3

[thequietkid-moonie]

Hey moonie, i wonder if it sounds like a good prompt but what about some Yuri hcs with a reader that has been trough similar stuff as anya and ended up with an emotion tracking power (like Jack's power of seeing people's colors) where he try as much as he can hide stuff from them such as his job, his stress regarding a few troubles, some of his feelings, etc?

Synesthetic!S/O can see his emotions

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Yuri Briar ]

[ Spy x Family ]

Fun fact! Jack's ability is actually based on the synesthesia but is taken to the extreme! Hope you don't mind I made it more general

I think i made a god job with this, but not sure, hope you like it

× Synesthesia is a condition where someone can persive things (like an specific flavor, a sound or even a color) from a stimulus that isn't normally related to it (i recomend searching more about the topic to be able to comprehend it better)

Yuri is a total lovestruck man, when he is in love he is completely blinded by that love, and it is only going to increase once you two are in a relasionship, wanting nothing more but to make you happy and give you a good life

If you ever tell him that you can persive things others not he will believe you almost right away, with a wide smile he asure you that he trust you even if you don't show any kind of evidence. However he will ask for more details out of curiosity, he loves you and wants to know all he can about you, so is only natural for him to want to know more

If you are shy or more nervous about the topic it would take him a moment to understand it and apologize for asking for more (and depending in how nervous you look is going to be how deeply he apologize) and probably even promise to make it up for you

At the end, show evidence of such hability would be almost imposible since is something you and only you persive, and despite that Yuri decide to just trust you and even admire you for it, is a quite unique hability and, in his eyes, you should be proud of! It makes you even more special! For him it doesn't matter anyone else opinion, even if you can't prove that you can actually do it he will not let anyone talk bad about you about it or call you a liar, he will immediatly get protective over you if anyone dares to acuse you of being a failure, even if it is with the smallest hint of doubt

Yuri indirectly encourages you to share more of this hability of yours with him by telling you how amaizing it is or how it makes you more beautiful and special, how lucky is he for having someone so amazing by his side, everytime you are able to persive something (like you can hear a musical note, a smell or even a color) from his emotions his smile just widen, although he really hopes that whatever you percive from him is pleasant to you, the last thing he wants is to upset you

There is no way you'll ever be able to guess something from his work from him, he can be having the most stressful day of his life during work but the moment he is finally able to see you again his entire self transforms into the most happiest person in the world, he may seem a little upset but just because he has being craving for your affection. You can get too notice when he is the slighest mad or stress for work if you sneak behing from behing him but if you confront him about it he will insist that is something you don't need to worry about, just silly little problems but nothing much, besides you are the only thing he needs to feel at his 100% again and he say it in such sincere and loving way that is almost flustering

The fact that you can notice his feelings even if he tries to hide that part of him from you makes him nervous, he want to give you a life where you don't have to worry about a thing and just enjoy, so it scare him a little, feeling like he is getting you involved in his work (even when is far from that), however he immediatly melts once you show worry for him about him feeling that bad, it makes him forget his worries and feel like he has an angel by his side, then again, he insist that having you by his side and your love is more than enough to make him feel better

[tiredassmage]

Tyr and Arcann. Arcann and Tyr. @eorzeashan​ you asked me about this like a month or two ago and I ???? Have been trying to figure it out ever since. And then apparently it sort of slotted together last night at 12:18 am while I rambled in @captainderyn​‘s dms sO. I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING COHESIVE. Kind of. We’ll see how competently I can string together sentences in this post.

They occupy a weird dynamic as far as current storyline goes where I’m not quite certain still where they stand... Perhaps it’s more still that they don’t have anywhere else to go that keeps them together over anything else.

But the short answer is that they’re not really... friends. That’s a lot of ground to cover for both of them and I’m not quite certain Tyr would ever be willing to close that much between them, given everything.

Tyr’s decision to bring him into the Alliance is driven more by the tactical advantage of having insider knowledge on Zakuul and Vaylin, and also by a respect and loyalty developed to Senya. Senya believes too much in Arcann for Tyr to accept her as collateral. And Tyr’s... kind of a result of people taking a wild chance that shouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in a Belsavis volcano of working out to begin with, anyway.

So, Arcann’s gotta work to earn his respect and trust just as much as with the rest of the Alliance. And the common ground allowed for that primarily? Tyr picks him up as a sparring partner.

Arcann’s still one of the most formidable Force-users Tyr’s ever had to wrangle with and it is very true that Valkorian’s intercession is one of the few reasons he was able to survive the first couple of encounters. Nobody wants that. And Vaylin is a force of nature. If Tyr can’t at least hold ground with Arcann, they’re going to have a much bigger problem.

It’s the one place Arcann sees Tyr in almost brutal honesty. They scare the living daylights out of the Alliance when they spar together. Lana, Theron, Arcann, several others repeatedly question how much of a good idea this course of action is.

Tyr keeps going back. Again. Arcann gets the upper hand several times. Again. Tyr puts everything he has into these spars. He’s not meaning to push Arcann, though I have to imagine that’s a part of the discomfort of the whole affair, but Tyr’s pushing himself. A little too far a little too often. Several times it ends because Arcann refuses to let him lunge into another duel because he’s visibly exhausted and, Commander? Are you certain? Lokin has to get involved and threaten to detain Tyr in medical physically several times before he and Arcann actually get anywhere talking about why.

For Tyr, it’s about the pressure, about everyone counting on him, about how failure isn’t an option. That close and personal, Arcann can’t help but see how much of himself Tyr puts into the Alliance. No matter what is or isn’t actually spoken, Arcann gains an understanding of what Tyr values.

They’re not... really the right people for each other to heal from their respective traumas. They’re not particularly capable of doing it on their own and some of their issues are so similar or related to the actions the other has taken that the kind of honesty and support that’d be beneficial to healing just... can’t come from each other. But they can at least understand. They can at least respect what they’re struggling with.

Arcann struggles a bit too much with guilt for putting Tyr in this position that he’s not really the right person to share the burden of why Tyr struggles with being the Commander. See: the “it’s not about you” and Tyr’s bitter laughter that of course it isn’t - it never is and never has been. He’s always been someone else’s tool or weapon as a Cipher. Which swings us back around to Arcann seeing, whether Tyr intends to show or not, just how much he has sacrificed for this all when they spar because Tyr can’t help but put everything into it because look at everything they could still stand to lose. Arcann’s... not the first person to try to kill him. That’s not the part that really weighs on Tyr’s chest. He’s not special for trying to kill him. What aches is the very real burden of being backed into a corner of a situation exponentially beyond his control (again) and having to swing for the fences again anyway because there is no other choice. Failure is not an option. Again.

It was never about Tyr. It just happened to him. Pawn again, Cipher.

That all said, Arcann is one of the few people that never questions his unwavering dedication to Theron in the entirety of the Nathema Conspiracy. And that means... a lot. Because Theron is everything to him. Theron is one of the few people to ever see him, wholly. To accept him. To believe there’s something more than a jaded ex-Cipher to it all. And Tyr was never ready to wrangle with the idea that he might’ve been wrong, that he might’ve finally fucked up and let his feelings get in the way of one of the most obvious betrayals to exist in the game - to be used by someone you thought you loved.

It wasn’t Theron. Tyr would’ve been ready to die for that belief. Thank the stars it wasn’t Theron because I’m not sure he would’ve ever really recovered from that otherwise.

So, yeah... Arcann and Tyr. Tyr and Arcann. They are... interesting. The short version is they have too much baggage between them to ever really be friends and they are not the right people for each other to deal with that baggage, but they do make fair progress towards genuine cooperation. They do see some sort of understanding in one another. It’s not forgiveness. There’s too much between them and what happened in the war for that to ever really work. But Tyr won’t stand in his way if he wants to try to be different. They surely both know that road is not easy to walk. You need all the allies you can get on that one.

[yoiku]

Man, last week... started off optimistic and ended up in the pits kinda.

We made plans for me to join a 15 month course to find fitting job(s) with the aim of going to said jobs and trying them out. Sounds good and is something i am interested in, but after friday all i've been thinking is that maybe it's too much too soon. I'm still thinking if i can manage 3 days of workshop/week instead of 2... so diving into something that can have 4-5x 6hr days/week is making me very anxious and already feeling bad if I end up not having the energy to do it. I think its the main thing that has dropped my mood bc I know that the chances of me getting a part-time job in any of the fields that interest me and are something i could be able to do physically, is pretty nonexistent. All of those fields have severe oversupply of potential workers against the amount available jobs, in the entire country. So the chances of getting employed as someone who doesn't have any substancial studies in the field, isn't able bodied or mentally okay... Lets just say it isnt exactly an encouraging thought. I just feel like no matter what I am entirely useless when it comes to any employment that i feel i could perhaps be able to do. If an able-bodied, neurotypical and socially capable person with a suitable degree can't get a job in those fields, what are my chances? lol. I dunno. Already feels like a failure if I muster up the courage to say that I feel like I've said OK to things that I'm not actually sure about. I'm sure they'll understand if I say i'd rather focus on getting back into 3 workshop days and trying to progress my rights for therapy for now. I don't know. I feel conflicted with my own thoughts. Part of me thinks I should give it a go even if I drop out - id at least be certain that it was too much. But I also know how heavily dropping out from anything hits me mentally, so i am genuinely afraid of seeing the bottom of the pit again. The psychologist at the current evaluation course did say she thinks taking things as slowly as needed is probably the best for me considering everything they've summed up abt me so far. I'll try to talk about it at least.

On a less depressing note, the results from the various psych/neuro tests were partly curious. My mathematical skills being extremely below average wasn't a surprise, lmao! But I found it curious that the one that was the highest above average was linguistic skills, followed by the less surprisingly above average spatial awareness that involved shapes, patterns and other stuff that i think any artistic person would excel at. Accuracy was great but speed was awful, lmao. Overall I scored pretty average on the cognitive side. Worth noting is that I am medicated now and I did take my adhd meds on that day as well, so that likely helped slightly with the accuracy and overall concentration. (a lot of the tests had a time limit) Interesting tests though, and I'm glad it gets written up into my files as well, because it's more proof to the fact that my autism is mostly affecting me on the social side of things. I would be really interested to take the same tests in a busy/noisy environment or with some sort of forced interrupts like someone asking you something entirely different suddenly and see just how much of a disaster that would be trying to get back into focusing on the test tasks then, lol. That's morely likely how things are after all if we think of these tests as a measure of how will you get by in the world of working a job, unless you really have a job where you get to work alone in a perfect environment for yourself. (man i love making art at home)

[liskantope]

Here is another way of explaining the spirit of the frustration I've been trying to express recently.

Early in high school, I was in a jazz band class. The below quote was taped to the wall of the band room; I specifically remember one time the band director had someone read it out loud to the whole class but I also remember just seeing it every day on the wall for a year or so. Remarkably, Google almost completely refused to produce this quote for me, but I finally found a version of it sloppily tucked into a high school band syllabus posted online apparently a lot of years ago and attributed to no one (I guess it's a sort of "folk quotation", perhaps more popular 20 years ago than now?). After a little cleaning up, it reads as follows:

Because you can understand that a person can’t play well, or forget their reed, or doesn’t feel well, or overslept, or didn’t have a chance to practice, or has sticky valves, or lost their music, or couldn’t get a ride, or is having a bad week, pretty soon you have a whole lot of understanding and a terrible band.

I remember being very annoyed at that quote when I was 14, a period of my (and most people's) life in which authority figures endlessly seemed to be lecturing us kids / "young men and women" along these lines. And I can't really recommend it as necessarily a very effective form of preaching at children or young teenagers. But obviously enough essence of that particular quote stuck with me persistently enough that I was able to remember enough approximate phrases to google it tonight, two decades later. And increasingly over the past year or so, it's kept coming back and back into my mind because of a certain harsh truth it reflects.

The main utility of acknowledging one's own disadvantages or disorders/conditions or less-than-ideal circumstances in assessing one's failures is to prevent one from being hard on oneself in a way that is on the net unhelpful and destructive, and to help with setting realistic instead of unreachable goals, etc. There are other advantages as well that I think of as sort of "second-order" (for instance, being able to name one's disability can be extremely helpful in figuring out how best to deal with and get around it). But all of that is true, while at the same time something else is true: being understanding of your own challenges in the end amounts to nothing more than a whole lot of understanding and you still don't get to your goals.

In my case, I see a place in life that I desperately want to reach which involves a permanent professional position that I can do well in and actually feel efficient enough at that I can balance it with owning a home, being a good partner and family member, and possibly being a parent, a relationship for life, preferably with someone wanting and able to have children with me, and being able to feel like a truly cemented part of some meatspace community. It may be privileged of me just to be able to wish for these things, and I have to acknowledge that I do already have many of the most sought-after things in life (e.g. better-than-basic health and financial stability), but it doesn't seem unreasonably entitled of me to want the rest.

I could spend all day dissecting the conditions and circumstances which have played a role in making it hard for me to attain these things that I want: obvious neurological issues that affect both my social and work performance, a career lifestyle that involves relocating every few years and going through a particularly strenuous job application process even more frequently, the backdrop of a turbulent job market through much of my adulthood, moderate-to-severe acne from teenagerhood all the way through my early 30's, hell, even my lower-than-average height, etc. And to a certain extent I've needed to be able to step back and acknowledge these things and view my shortcomings in that context. But I'm in a state of fierce rebellion against the temptation to sink into all that understanding because the moment I do, it feels like I'm going to fall into an abundance of understanding and I won't be one inch closer to the place that I so badly want to be in. At the end of the day I can't allow myself to lose sight of the fact that I want to get the actual concrete things I want, goddammit. I feel like if I take my eyes off that, I ultimately lose and that a ton of sympathy for myself is a crappy consolation prize. And I react badly to a certain type of online culture because it seems designed to lead me (and others) astray from keeping my eyes on that hard and unbending truth.

Like with most things, this is about finding the right balance of perspectives and partial narratives. I would be writing a very different kind of rant if Tumblr and my social bubbles seemed deeply immersed in another set of cultural values, the ones that were dominant until very recently and still are dominant in more traditional parts of society today. But as it is, my deep fear is that a massive social movement is relentlessly creating a whole lot of understanding and a terrible band.

[orbmanson7]

So I don't know why I'm thinking about CLBG at 4am but it resulted in thoughts on Roman angst and how they'll probably have to eventually resolve the absolute mess that's been made over the course of the series

The answers can be found in the episode CLBG.

In the episode, Thomas and Roman act out various scenes to help him lie but the part to focus on is the role assignment near the start of the scene.

Virgil and Logan are pushed to the back, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing because both of them (left brain bros) prefer to be out of the limelight anyway, merely providing assistance.

Then Roman says that he's "basically Orson Welles" to explain his roles are director, actor, and writer. He's then guilted into giving Patton the director role, and this is what is significant!

Because in this particular scenario? Patton doesn't know much of anything about lying, he doesn't care for lying on principle, so Roman taking the reins in this one would have made more sense, but Patton snatches that top role away, thanks to he (and Thomas) guilting Roman into handing it over. And then what does Patton do? Mostly sit in the audience and enjoy the show, occasionally calling out when Thomas does something wrong.

Now it's hard to fully analyze this analogy because we, the audience, know that Patton is actually Janus in disguise throughout most of the episode. But I think Janus playing into Patton's part of an overbearing morality was so well done that the others didn't notice until so much later on, which just goes to show how (mostly) accurately he was portrayed.

The reason this is Roman Angst™ is because Roman is taking on the spotlight with Thomas all on his own. Patton gets big credit as director, sure, but Patton isn't the one on stage. It's just Roman, creating and acting his heart out just for Thomas. He gives literally everything, his whole being, all to Thomas to be able to do this. And, from his perspective, he knows he can't actually do it alone, he needs Virgil handling the stressful stuff, battling away the stage fright and dealing with the inner machinations of handling lights, sound, props, standing on your mark, etc. These put Virgil in a more prominent position in order for Roman to be able to do his job(s) properly, which is concerning because that's a lot of work for Virgil to handle, too, especially as Literal Anxiety.

And then we have Logan, relegated to being stage manager/dramaturg. While this role suits him well, his job is quite literally to keep everyone on track and make sure they are following the script. If something goes wrong, it's meant to be his job to delegate another person to fix it quickly and efficiently. The only major problem shown in this scene, though, involves Virgil searching for a missing prop, which Roman was the one who demanded its necessity for the scene, not Logan (probably because it wasn't actually necessary). In essence, Logan doesn't really fulfill his stage manager duty during this scene, he almost entirely fills the role of a dramaturg. And while it's important and nice to have one, dramaturgs are often considered excessive in productions, only there to provide tidbits of information, should anyone choose to need it. Not a great sign for Logan's overall role in the series, that's all I'm saying.

Next, we're onto Patton as director. Like I mentioned before, he guilts Roman into giving him the role but then hardly used it to do much beyond criticizing Thomas, which is about 1:1 how it works for the rest of the series. Patton is very strict with Thomas but he also doesn't fully understand why, creating contradictions, even all the way back in CLBG, that are hard for Thomas to follow, leading to inevitable failure. And who takes on that failure? Mostly Thomas' ego - Roman.

Those failures are seen as fixable mistakes that Logan then attempts to remedy, by delegating or stepping in to assist, but because no one wants his help, he can only provide facts that the others rarely want to hear. This causes repeated failures because the problems aren't being resolved, which puts Virgil in a downward spiral, attempting to handle all the things going wrong, and feeling as though it's his own fault, when it's actually a culmination of factors that have led up to that point.

If Patton offered genuine direction (and maybe earned his role instead of demanding it) and explained what Roman and Thomas should try to do and not be so strict, constantly telling them what they do wrong instead of letting them feel out the space until they figure it out, then this would result in Roman's self-esteem improving phenomenally. He also should maybe relinquish a bit of that overwhelming control that he has, and allow not only Thomas but also the other sides to give their opinions more. Patton shouldn't be the only side with the final say, it should be more of a group effort, so he needs to learn to share and be more willing to listen to what others have to say.

Meanwhile, if Roman would allow others to have some input into his role of creating, acting, writing, etc. then he may feel less burdened and less helpless overall. He won't have to fully rely on everyone else (mainly Virgil) to help him complete his job, he could consult others and incorporate more ideas, flex his creativity without having to feel like it's an end-all be-all requirement. Additionally, this may improve his confidence, especially if he can earn praise from the others. He deserves appreciation for what he does for Thomas, and because of Thomas' choice in career, he is always going to have a very big part to play, but if he maybe shared that stage with a certain brother of his, he could better incorporate those new ideas and have a fellow creative to bounce his work off of, allowing him to meet new heights of creativity while also giving him a little less spotlight to stand under. He may not want that, since he enjoys his spotlight, but he genuinely needs at least a tiny bit less of that burden on himself. He needs to be able to take breaks, and if the others can play a more active role to better assist him, then he can finally do that.

Next, Logan needs more authority (and, really, more respect) than he currently has. His job is to keep them on schedule, but because of the chaos and unbalanced roles throughout, his job is nearly impossible to accomplish. He can tell them what to do, but he can't make them do it. If they listen to what he's saying and try to properly understand and incorporate what he's telling them, then things would absolutely run a lot smoother. Unfortunately, this would require Logan standing up for himself and maintaining a proper level of respect from Thomas and the other sides, which doesn't exist in the series at the moment.

But that's not the only problem. Logan is also not meant to have any spotlight, he's meant to delegate his tasks so that others can take up their roles when needed. Instead, because they are so busy, needed for other things, or just don't want to do it, Logan has been taking on these tasks himself instead of delegating, because it won't get done at all if he doesn't. So, he will need to stop micro-managing, giving up what little control he does have, but only if it is then properly replaced by the others listening when he speaks and taking on those tasks when assigned. If he gives up all control and the others don't take up the mantle to do their part of the job, the job will simply go unfinished and the chaos will become immensely worse. There's a lot of give and take needed for Logan's role to be successful, and right now, it will be a delicate operation to get it in working order.

And then there's Virgil, who is mostly left with all the operational tasks the right brain guys don't want to do, and since all the other parts of the production have already gone to hell, Virgil is in a constant state of stress, dealing with the aftermath. Virgil needs some order to be introduced, less chaos and mistakes, just so he can have a moment of reprieve to collect himself and then keep trekking on. He can fulfill this role, but it would probably be a lot easier if he wasn't required to do it alone. Having an extra hand or two to keep everything running smoothly would be benefit him greatly, and to not only keep an eye on how everything is running, recognizing if something has gone wrong (or how it might soon), but to help keep Thomas calm and less anxious - almost like someone who would put Thomas' priorities first, someone who cares about Thomas' self-preservation (and also maybe has extra arms), perhaps?

Additionally, Virgil needs to be willing to ask for help and be a little more forthcoming when he thinks something is wrong. He's gone into older habits more recently in the series, hiding away from Thomas instead of handling stressful situations, which is negatively impacting Thomas and the others in result. If the lighting guy were to make a mistake during a production and instead of fixing it and moving forward, he just disappeared where no one could find him, it wouldn't solve anything. The show would just be stuck until someone else tried to fix it or they found the lighting guy and tried to help him fix it, letting him know he can ask for help or rely on others to provide assistance when needed.

Virgil needs to be made aware that he has supports to lean on, but then he also needs to be willing to lean on them when the time comes.

This will help keep him (and Thomas) calmer and less stressed, while also feeling supported, and still fulfill the needed roles to keep things running smoothly.

Overall, the current production (aka Thomas' state of mind) is a torrent of chaos. If he's going to rely so much on his sides to help him out, he needs to properly listen to all of them, even the ones he would rather pretend didn't exist.

Tldr; in order for things to improve, Patton needs to be less strict, Roman needs to let others help him, Logan needs to be listened to, and Virgil needs to be made aware he is supported and then let others help him, too. Remus and Janus also need to be included in ways where they can help and not constantly be pushed away.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, though.

[usagirotten]

Movie Review: Madame Web is the clear example of what NOT to do

It is well known by everyone and everyone that the MCU has gone through big problems in recent years, productions that have not had a good reception, productions that have been more about fulfilling and filling a space than about having good quality. We have examples like this on the big screen and on the platform to which they belong, we recently saw it with the enormous failure of Marvel, and Sony Pictures has done the same with productions such as Venom (2018), Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021 ), Morbius (2022), Kraven the Hunter soon to be released in 2024 and very recently Madame Web. The idea of these studios to create and be part of a Spider-Verse without Spider-Man has not been entirely good, they have presented villainous characters who try to have their personality in the movies and then be part of something bigger, although The latter does not at all meet the expectations not only of the studios but of the general public. Madame Web is the new thing coming to the big screens from director S. J. Clarkson and aims to tell an origin story that is closely related to the origin of the friendly spider neighbor.

What is the movie about?

Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson) is a Manhattan paramedic who has the ability of clairvoyance and is forced to face revelations from her past to understand her present and be able to prevent the future. To face this she will meet three young women destined to have powerful futures if they can survive a relentless and unpredictable enemy. The idea of bringing these characters to the big screen is not entirely bad, the problem is that Sony Pictures as a studio has been extremely ambitious in trying to compete with Marvel Studios to try to expand the Spider-Man universe and keep it current and that can interact in future projects, thus creating an alternate line in this vast multiverse. It is a problem and a waste of time and money that these productions pretend that they are good and that they will be a success mainly among the fans. Another problem that has arisen with this has been the terrible scripts based on meaningless stories that have no meaning. clear where they want to go, this has caused delays, script rewrites, and refilming, not to mention that the actors involved are told one thing and end up doing something completely different. This may be an effect like the one that Marvel's The Fantastic Four Movie (1994) by director Oley Sassone had, which was destined to fail and be canned never to be released and which at some point was leaked and pirated copies went on sale in VHS format. and which has now become a cult classic not for being good but for maintaining the rights of characters who later and to this day continue to have problems with their film adaptations.

If we have the clear idea that all this is a joke or a joke on itself then the concept and the context change and becomes more enjoyable and entertaining, when the opposite happens and they pretend that this is serious and make us believe that this It is important to understand everything that is coming that is also poorly planned and structured. We have a big problem because then the only thing they are doing is playing and deceiving a captive audience and burning characters that could very well have a different treatment and be at the level of what Black Panther or Dr. Strange among others. This is an origin story of a character created by Denny O'Neil and artist John Romita Jr. appearing for the first time in The Amazing Spider-Man No. 210 in November 1980, Madame Web in the panels is a mutant who helps Spider-Man to find a kidnapping victim, from this issue onwards the character gained popularity and recognition in the publishing house to this day. The film is evoked in more modern moments giving a different origin based on the original in which we see that these abilities of clairvoyance and precognitivity are inherited from his mother when searching for a strange spider in Peru that is said to be able to cure any disease. As expected, some also seek it for other purposes that are not entirely good and that can endanger humanity. It must be recognized that this work respects the rules of the genre and proposes its own and it is like watching one of those old movies about Marvel characters that were made in the 80s with Lou Ferrigno's Hulk as the protagonist where these characters had an independent story and an aesthetic very different from what we know of them today but that fulfilled the purpose of entertaining and in a certain way seeing what the vignettes do in live action. In the case of Madame Web, this begins like this, a flashback places us in the Peruvian jungle in 1973 where Constance (Kerry Bishé) is pregnant and in search of a rare species of spider known for its healing properties, from there, we jump to the year 2003 and Cassie, the girl that Constance gave birth to, is now an adult and a paramedic in New York, specifically in the Queens neighborhood that years later would also be the home of Peter Parker, during a rescue together with her partner Ben (Adam Scott). He ends up falling into the river, which reveals his strange ability that had remained dormant until that moment. Without understanding how it works, his mind now has confusing visions of strange events and discovers that he can see a near but limited future, in a moment that is intended to be shocking. He has the revelation of someone's death but does not know how to prevent it. In the sequence in which Cassie begins to understand and understand her unwanted abilities realizes that she must use them to do good and help others beginning with saving three teenagers from being attacked and murdered in the city subway, Here we already know the antagonist of this story, the millionaire and obsessed Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), who can also see the future and knows that these three seemingly harmless girls will kill him when they grow up, so he decides to look for them and stop them before that happens without knowing that he will have the help of Cassie, the daughter of the pregnant woman he attacked in Peru years ago and removed the strange spider. Continuing with this adventure Cassie must become the protector of these unlovable teenagers, we have the demure Julia (Sydney Sweeney), the studious and intelligent Anya (Isabela Merced), and of course the rebellious Mattie (Celeste O'Connor) not missing. who, being in danger, have to put aside their differences and form a team to protect each other and defeat an enemy they do not know and who wants to stay alive at the expense of theirs, which causes each one to learn from others and herself to survive.

Since everything here happens by chance, they meet Cassie, who at every opportunity must explain to them and us as the audience the strange things that are happening to her, which seems trite, tired, boring, and extremely stupid, we could spend the whole day mentioning the big flaws. which has the script written by Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless, Claire Parker, and Clarkson herself where the holes go from one nonsense to another, dialogues that are out of context and do not contribute anything to the central plot or the subs. plots, the latter are present only to fill time on screen, without taking into account that many scenes were left the same in the refilming and that they completely lose the order of events. The narrative tries to be agile in its action sequences that are poorly filmed and that come from nowhere and by chance to try to stop a villain who has spider powers and who could very well be confused with a poorly made Spider-Man from another universe. who comes to this to try to stop 3 teenagers with poorly made spider powers who intend to be heroines shortly and who will be the guardians of the city as Peter Parker grows up and becomes what we all already know. The references to the Spider. Man universe feels more than forced with unfunny jokes that range from mentioning that the boy will be called Peter to that he will be the pride of his parents who we clearly know will die, none of the above makes sense if we don't have That dose of action and adventure that Marvel proposed from the beginning of its successful MCU, this remains as something forced with a mechanical script that shines for its lack of imagination and originality lacking in emotion and suspense. Madame Web as a film strives to emulate the teenage girls of the 2000s who behave like superficial snobs who in the end will have a lesson learned about themselves and what it is like to team up with others, leaving aside any differences they have, We have seen this confusing moral message about femininity and the power of friendship and teamwork better presented in other types of works in other genres that exalt women in extreme situations and not, as in this case, remain as a joke and a mockery that women can do everything when they are not capable of having basic chemistry between them. Director S. J. Clarkson, who here makes her debut on the big screen, has previously directed some episodes of television series such as Heroes, House, Dexter, and Succession. She does not understand what the cinematographic dynamics and the integration and interaction of these characters are like; she does not understand that the treatment that they must have their own rules and that from their aesthetics to their history that comes from years in comics, they must look and feel more real and spectacular within their fantastic world, being the protagonists of a story that leaves us wanting to know. and want to know more or how this will connect with everything else and form a meta story. We are in a very complex cinematographic moment, the audience, whether they are fans or not, has become very demanding with the entertainment products we consume, this work is ultimately something that should not have reached movie theaters and that could occupy an undistinguished place in a streaming platform or perhaps it is that this format does not fully benefit a good idea with a terrible execution, this makes movies like Morbius seem well made and Madame Web manages to be even more stupid, more incompetent and written with the laziness of not wanting to tell something important, however, despite its great and very marked defects from its trailer without intending it and inadvertently it becomes a fun film more than because of its plot because of its terrible production. We cannot deny that the costumes desperately tried to save its illogical plot and yet it falls far short of the expectations we are used to seeing in films of this genre. One more mistake among so many failures is having presented a scene in the trailer. in which the three of them wear those colorful costumes that we all wanted to see in action and that here only happens for a couple of seconds, and I emphasize, a couple of seconds, is that this is a blatant mockery of the genre it occupies and that It leaves us with the feeling that they have seen our faces and that we have paid to see something that is not what even the studio itself expected. The cast is made up of Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O'Connor, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, and Adam Scott who look and feel extremely uncomfortable having to interact with others, performances that are lazy and minimal that do not express at all how great and spectacular these characters can be in a universe that, although it has had its flaws, is still spectacular. The music by the Swedish composer Johan Söderqvist, who has done good work, also feels simpler and only to be fulfilled, it fails to have a striking personality with a theme that reminds us of this film, a job that remains more to be fulfilled than to transcend. In conclusion, Madame Web as a final product leaves a lot to be desired, it promises something that they never had the intention of fulfilling but we cannot blame it entirely, the studios are the ones that have indiscriminately wanted to present little-known characters when trying to create a universe that It has not worked nor will it work if it does not have its main element, it is a shame that productions like these get the green light for their production just to fill a space and to try to please an audience that is becoming increasingly more demanding, a clear example of what NOT to do and that despite this they have not understood that it is not enough to just entertain. Madame Web is now available in movie theaters nationwide and we DO NOT recommend it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_76M4c4LTo Read the full article

[cinnamonfridge]

So sorry you've been victimized by people over, what, a writing website? Do you think the whole thing's a false flag for them to find a scapegoat? Was it your bosses/the mods over there going after teenagers and saying it was you? Did they really not give you any help or support when your wife died in 2019 or 2020 or 2021 (sorry, just trying to read the different posts so might have gotten years wrong)? Did you ever give them a doctor's note for your medical problems? Cuz you can probably sue them if there's like a paper trail. Why did they target you and no one else? What do they have against you, is it just your radical honesty? Sorry so many questions.

It was other participants making the bullshit claims that I had been targeting them. Too bad 39 seconds reviewing my PMs would have proved that was a damn lie. Staff just refused to admit it.

My wife died June 2nd, 2019. The actual heart attack was actually on May 31st. And to correct something, I was given the support I asked for.

As for my health issues, most of them I didn't even mention for a very long time. I honestly can't remember if I shared the note from my PCP with them when I found out I was stage 5. I did PM Sarah, Heather, Letitia, and Samma_Jaye though. Sarah, because it was going to affect my ability to manage the ML group that year. Heather because I knew she knew me well enough she would understand why I was begging to be allowed to remain a moderator as long as possible. Samma_Jaye was the moderator I was most certain would be able to spot the warning signs as my behavior changed as a side-effect of the toxins building up because of the kidney failure and the fact it was only a matter of time before I would have to stop my dialysis (and I'll get into that weirdness in moment). Letitia, of course, as the lead forum mod has final say on whether or not I would be allowed to continue as a moderator.

As for targeting me? There's two sides to this that people need to understand. At the start of June I knew I was going to have to end my mod duties, but I was also sick and tired of seeing the toxicity that had been building up and was continuing to build up. I'd seen that shit before and I wanted staff to address it once and for all in a way that didn't involve a bunch of other bullshit getting in the way.

So when I saw some well known malicious flaggers that I also knew had made a habit of stalking my posts, I took advantage of it. I deliberately posted I would override the lock on the CTT thread if it happened because of the flags. And sure enough, within minutes they'd gone running to the Moderation Feedback thread about it. And that's when the fun started.

All those violations of the moderation policy I did? Staff and the other mods knew from the start it was intentional to force fhem to see just how toxic the forums had truly become so they could try and fix it. And well, as recent days have proven, they ignored my warnings and the shot I gave them at fixing things.

Now, here's the other half: if you find the What's Happening Here thread from December of '22 you'll see in the public posts I'm not exactly friends to Marya. A lot of that was because initially we were ordered to not moderate that thread at all. And I chose to go malicous compliance on her. I lowered my trust level to level 2 and then flagged every violation, no matter how minor it was.

See, we were told we couldn't moderate, but we were also told we could participate so that is exactly what I did. It wasn't long after word came down that with some exceptions we were permitted to moderate it.

But the true story is that there are a lot of whispers (mod/admin only posts) in that thread and I was far more blunt and honest in those comments than Marya liked.

And every interaction Marya and I had after that there was a very noticeable animosity in it, especially after she decided kissing donors' asses was more important than making sure she had all the facts before commenting on a situation.

So yeah, I guarantee a lot of the reason staff never addressed the shit they knew was false because Marya told them not to as revenge for me not bowing down and kissing her ass.

That's also why I'm now 100% certain she lied to the board by leaving out key details to try and save her job at the expense of Letitia's.

[swadesqms]

DOE vs. Trial and Error: How Training Can Save Time and Resources

When it comes to solving problems, there are two main approaches that organizations can take: DOE (Design of Experiments) and Trial and Error. While both methods have their advantages, each approach has its own unique set of benefits that make them suited for different scenarios. In this blog post, we’ll explore the differences between these two techniques in order to better understand how training can save time and resources when used effectively.

Also Read: Process Capability Training

First off, let's start with DOE (Design of Experiments). This method involves using a structured process to systematically test various combinations of factors in order to determine which combination produces the most desirable outcome or result. By doing so, businesses are able to identify what works best quickly and efficiently without having to waste time on trial-and-error experimentation or guesswork. Furthermore, since this technique is based on data from experiments rather than intuition alone – it allows companies more confidence when making decisions about future projects as they know exactly what worked before in similar situations.

On the other hand Trial & Error is an iterative process where solutions are tested until one succeeds or fails completely; meaning no matter how much effort you put into finding a solution – if none exists then you will ultimately fail at reaching your goal(s). Additionally due to its reliance upon guessing rather than analysis - trial & error often results in wasted resources such as money/time spent trying out numerous possible solutions before arriving at one which may not even be successful anyways! As such - while useful for quick fixes - relying solely upon trial & error over longer periods could potentially lead businesses down costly paths with little return on investment (ROI).

Fortunately, though there’s another option available for those who want something more reliable yet still cost-effective: design of experiments training. With proper education regarding the Design of Experimentation processes, teams will be equipped with the knowledge necessary to increase chances of success while simultaneously reducing the risk associated with failure. Not only does provide staff members with the tools needed to achieve desired outcomes but also saves the company valuable resources by avoiding wasteful experimentation attempts through correct implementation strategies beforehand!

All said and done, investing proper training towards design experimentations versus trial errors pays dividends long run terms saving both money and time and allowing businesses to reach objectives faster safer manner!

[latest-bitcoin-news]

How can I keep my crypto safe? A blog about security of your cryptocurrency.

Introduction

It's easy to get excited about the potential of cryptocurrency, but there are also risks involved. If you're planning on investing in cryptocurrencies, you'll need to understand how they work and what your options are for keeping them safe. In this post I'll cover some tips for staying safe from hackers and thieves while using cryptocurrency.

Security tip #1: Use a hardware wallet to store your private keys offline.

A hardware wallet is a secure way to store your private keys. It's a physical device that stores your private keys offline, which means there's no chance of losing them if you misplace it or forget where you put it.

You should use a hardware wallet at all times when interacting with cryptocurrencies, as they are not connected to the internet and much more secure than online exchanges or online wallets such as Coinbase (which can be hacked).

Security tip #2: Only keep as much cryptocurrency online that you'll need to make day-to-day transactions.

If you're keeping cryptocurrency on an exchange and the exchange gets hacked, your funds will be lost.

It's also important to keep some of your cryptocurrency offline. For example, if you have $50 worth of bitcoin sitting in a wallet on Coinbase, wouldn't it be better for that money to sit in a personal wallet where it can't be taken by hackers? Or perhaps even better still: keep all of your crypto at home instead of leaving it somewhere else like at an exchange or computer/phone?

Security tip #3: Write down and store the 24-word recovery phrase for your hardware wallet somewhere safe.

If you have a hardware wallet, write down and store the 24-word recovery phrase for your hardware wallet somewhere safe. Don't store it on your computer, phone or hardware wallet—it's best to keep this information in a place where it can't be accessed by anyone else.

If you don't have a hardware wallet yet but want one in order to protect yourself against hackers (and there are many reasons why), then I would recommend looking into Ledger Nano S for its ease of use and security features.

Security tip #4: Get a Trezor Model T touch screen wallet to generate random recovery phrases instead of using a computer, which isn't as secure.

If you use a computer to generate recovery phrases, it's possible that someone could steal the seed phrase and then use it to access your wallet. The Trezor Model T is a touch screen wallet that generates new random 24 word recovery phrases every time you want to use it. This makes it more secure than using a computer because if someone steals your device, they won't be able to access the seed or private keys stored on them.

Security tip #5: If you're investing in cryptocurrency, research each coin you want to buy thoroughly before you make any purchase.

If you're investing in cryptocurrency, research each coin you want to buy thoroughly before you make any purchase.

Research the team behind the project. Are they reputable? What are their skills and experience? How many people are involved with this project? Do they have a history of success or failure?

Research the technology behind the project. Is it promising enough to warrant its own token (or will it be replaced by something better)? Does it have any competitors yet that are already available on exchanges or wallets (if so, which ones)? Are there any known security issues with this particular coin's blockchain technology that might affect its value down the road if not addressed now—and if so, how long will those issues remain unresolved before affecting price stability/fluctuations on exchanges where other cryptocurrencies trade alongside yours for CNY/USD pairs).

Review roadmap milestones set forth by developers who hope someday soon will be able to implement those features into existing software code bases without needing additional resources from investors like yourself because these programmers haven't received funding yet until after launch day occurs which means no other investors could possibly benefit financially from buying into such projects unless maybe someone else wants part ownership rights included within whatever new venture comes out using similar ideas."

Security tip #6: Make sure the website or app you're using to buy cryptocurrency is encrypted and read up on their reputation.

Check the website's URL to make sure it's the real deal.

Check the website's reputation online.

Make sure your browser is up-to-date and running on an operating system that has been patched for security vulnerabilities (this includes Google Chrome, Firefox, Microsoft Edge). If you have any other apps or software installed on your computer that could be exploited by malicious software such as keyloggers and screen capture tools (e.g., Discord), disable them before installing cryptos from an unknown source!

Double check that SSL certificates are valid and trusted by looking at their expiration date as well as checking each certificate against known publically available databases like mySSLchecker which can tell if a site's domain name matches up with its true IP address (this can also be done offline).

Security tip #7: Look out for phishing email scams that mimic legitimate exchanges and instruct you to enter your private keys into an untrusted website.

Phishing emails are designed to look like legitimate emails from a trusted source, such as your exchange. They may trick you into giving up sensitive information like your private keys or login credentials.

Here's an example of a phishing email:

Dear Customer, We're sorry for any inconvenience caused by the recent changes in our company's security policy. Our team has reviewed your account and found that you have been inactive for over 6 months. Therefore, we will be terminating access to this account effective today (date). Because we want to keep our customers happy and satisfied with their experience with us at [Name], please send us an email explaining why this decision was made by May 31st 2018 at 11am PST/2pm EST/6pm GMT so that we can better serve both parties going forward! We thank you in advance for helping us keep our customers happy throughout their time here at [Name]. Please contact our customer service department at support@xxxxx if there are any questions regarding payment plans or refunds issued after June 1st 2018.*

Security tip #8: Use 2FA whenever possible, but make sure to disable it with SMS if you can't log in because hackers might have intercepted your text messages.

Use 2FA whenever possible, but make sure to disable it with SMS if you can't log in because hackers might have intercepted your text messages.

If you're using a two-factor authentication (2FA) service that lets you use a password to access your account, keep in mind that not all 2FAs are created equal. Some will require your phone number and others don't—and some may even let hackers intercept text messages used for authentication. If this happens, just change the way that information is sent from the app or website where it's being used; otherwise, just write down the new code somewhere safe so that if something does happen again and someone gets hold of those codes they won't be able access any more accounts without getting caught red handed!

Security tip #9: Don't tell anyone your private keys or seed phrase no matter what they say!

If you have any passwords, or if you're storing private keys and seed phrases on your computer, don't tell anyone. Don't let them access these files!

For example, if someone asks for your password and you give it to them because they asked nicely (or maybe they were just really good at persuading), then this is one way that people can get access to your cryptocurrency. It's not just about telling others what their passwords are; it's also about keeping those secrets safe from everyone else as well—even if they ask nicely or try very hard not to hurt feelings!

You can keep your cryptocurrency safe by understanding the risks involved and taking precautions against them.

You can keep your cryptocurrency safe and read regular latest crypto news by understanding the risks involved and taking precautions against them.

Here are some tips to help you stay safe:

Use a hardware wallet. A hardware wallet is a small device that holds your private keys and allows you to access your cryptocurrency from any computer or mobile device. The best ones use open-source software, so they’re easy to understand and use in case anything goes wrong with them (like losing their private key). You should only keep as much cryptocurrency online as needed for day-to-day transactions—do not store it all in one place! If someone else gets their hands on your hardware wallet or finds out its location, they could steal all of its contents at once.

Write down and store the 24-word recovery phrase for your hardware wallet somewhere safe—this will allow someone else who has access but does not know about it yet how get back into using again without having lost any money/funds stored inside/included within its confines

Conclusion

Remember, the most important thing you can do is to be aware of your own security practices. It's easy to get complacent and forget that a stranger could be trying to steal your crypto or make off with it altogether. With so many different scams out there, though, it's hard not to let them get under your skin! We hope this article has been helpful in helping you stay safe from hackers and scammers at all costs by staying vigilant about what kind of information is being shared online

[cafeinthemoon]

Tobirama, Madara and Izuna with s/o who’s the last of the clan 💔

I was so excited when anon requested this one that I regret taking this long to finally write it! This time, we have Tobirama, Madara and Izuna with a s/o that reveals to be the last of her clan and besides infertile, which means that her lineage would be over with her, as well as their own. Let’s see how they would react!

To give this request a context, let’s imagine that they’re married for just some months and she never revealed this secret because she was afraid that they would leave her after finding out about it. Sm tension! Poor s/o 😭

Oh and Izuna's part ended up longer than I thought to be possible omg

Fandom: Naruto | Tobirama Senju, Madara Uchiha and Izuna Uchiha

Symbols: ◻ | 💜 | 💛 | ▶▶

Warnings: angst, not exactly happy endings, depression, tension, infertility, grief

Tobirama

It’s not like Tobirama didn’t notice something was wrong since you started living together: he did

He trusted you with his life, but he sensed you were keeping something from him, though he had no idea of what it could be

Maybe you did something shameful or something about your past has been haunting you since then, but you didn’t know how to tell him

Whatever the case, he never questioned you or tried to make you talk

He wanted you to take your time and only speak when you felt prepared, the best way for you to show how much you trusted and respected him

But months and months passed and your silence persisted, and it was hard for him to ignore it

One day, the answer to this mystery came in an unexpected way, during a casual conversation at home

Tobirama pointed out your circumstances were favorable: your routine together was settled, your house had enough space and he finally finished to work on some jutsu he has been developing for a while

You agreed and asked why he was talking about this now

It was when he said he believed that you both had proper conditions to have children

When you heard the word children, you couldn’t control your reaction: you started to tremble and covered your face to hide your tears

It took like one hour until you were able to speak again, and when you did, you begged Tobirama to listen to you until the end before thinking of what to do

You revealed that you weren’t lying when you told him you were the last of your clan, but that was not the whole story: you also discovered you were unable to get pregnant, which means your lineage would end with you

And if Tobirama kept married to you, the same would happen to his lineage as well

You explained you were scared to tell him the truth because you didn’t want to disappoint him or to see him leaving you

You also said you were sorry for destroying the trust he had on you and that if he wanted to step away from this marriage that wouldn’t bring him any benefits, you would understand

That was the moment when without a word you were remembered why you loved that man so much: he pulled you to him and involved you in a hug so tight that you thought you were going to suffocate

When he spoke, was to ask how you could think he would give up on you because of a child that you couldn’t bring to the world – a person who didn’t even exist

He married you because he loved you, not your bloodline

But you know, Tobirama is a man of actions and not just words, so once he understood how important this was for you, he started to work

He spent hours, days, weeks in research and tests with your genetic material to find the exact cause of your infertility, because with this information he could develop a cure

He also included the principles of chakra in his studies, which resulted in the cure being a type of healing ninjutsu

Tobirama didn’t like to speak about his techniques before he had proof of their efficacy, so he never talked to you about his discoveries. He was wise in not giving you false expectations

But one day, the jutsu was finally complete

He explained that he tried to improve the chances of success as much as he could, but they didn’t even reach 90% (an acceptable number according to him), so that the chances of failure couldn’t be ignored

You said that if the technique failed, you would learn to live with it and that all the effort he put on it was enough for you, for it was the greatest proof of love you’d expect to receive

Tobirama then explained how it would work and helped you with the preparations

You would take the healing treatment from him during a few sessions; after that, you would try a few times

All the procedure would take months, so you would have to be patient and reshape some of your habits: the healthier you would get, bigger were the chances of success

It’s been some time since you started the experiment, so there’s still hope

But you decided to use your time not just to rely on hope, but also to prepare yourself to whatever the future would bring to you ❤

Madara

Something unexplainable, a kind of sadness, were always present in you, in your voice, your gestures, and specially when you were quiet, distracted with your own thoughts

Since Madara met you, he had this strange sensation about you

Maybe it was a painful memory or something about your clan

You told him you were the last of it, so he was the only family you had now

He could say he understood part of you pain, for he lost his siblings when they were little, as well as his parents: he knew what it was like to be alone

But there was a part of the story you still hadn’t the courage to reveal to him: you were infertile, so you’d never be able to give him children

And you knew he wanted to be a father

Besides he was the clan’s head, so he needed an offspring

He noticed your used to get particularly quiet when children were mentioned

But he never questioned you about it

You, on the other hand, always knew that sooner or later, this would be discussed seriously in your house, yet you pretended it would never happen

But one evening, when you were sitting together, talking about the life you were building there and the future, Madara spoke again about his dream of becoming a father

This time, you couldn’t take it anymore

You said sorry to your husband, but you would not be able to make his dream come true

He didn’t ask how, or why: he just stared at you in silence, wondering what you were talking about

Then you finally confessed everything: you were not just the last of your clan; you were also unable to get pregnant. Having children were always a difficult theme for you, both because it was a dream you’d never reach and because of your lineage

You told him how you discovered your infertility, how your clan reacted to it, how you were rejected because no one would want a wife who wasn’t able to have children, how the world made your life gravitate around this instead of just let you live in peace

When you lost your family, your feelings were mixed: on one hand, you felt free from the burden of being infertile; on the other hand, you never felt so alone

You were determined to live only for yourself until you met Madara, who convinced you to do differently. And now things were about to get ruined because this shadow of your past

Your husband’s first reaction was to ask for a moment all by himself. He wanted to process everything he just heard before taking any measures

You gave him time and spent the rest of the night without seeing him

(You barely closed your eyes on the bed)

The next morning, he came back to talk to you

He said he was going to travel to seek for a solution and that he was not coming back until he found out something good enough for you two

You asked for details but he refused to give them. Sometimes he was so enigmatic that he would scare you

But you had to trust him, so you let him go even not knowing when he would be back

During his travel, Madara met some elder, wise people and asked for a jutsu, a medicine or anything that could help. He would pay any price for it

And they named their price, which wasn’t low. Still he paid

He would never speak about it with you, though

After weeks, he came back home with scrolls and artifacts and finally explained what he had in mind

You’ve never heard about those jutsu and didn’t trust those types of medicine

But you noticed he wasn’t the same man who left the house, so it was understood that he made some sacrifice to obtain those things

So that for your husband, you would try anything

If they would work, you weren’t sure

But you wouldn’t let all his efforts be in vain 😭

Izuna always had this positive, almost euphoric confidence in the future, in your love, in your success together, and didn’t accept anything that could contradict his vision of things

Izuna

The issue in this case started even before you got married

But to be honest, this was what first thing caught your attention when you met him

After living alone for years since you lost your family, he was the first person who convinced you to change your ways

He made you believe everything was possible, and to try and live happy again

Yes, even you, despite everything you’ve been through, felt the flames of hope waking up again inside your heart

Sometimes, you felt like Izuna had enough vital energy for you both

The sensation was such that after every meeting with him you needed some time by yourself to recover: his company was almost suffocating

He was also a man used to make important decisions quickly: he hated wasting time with deliberations, stating that this was a habit of old people

(Wasting time in his words, let’s be clear lol)

The idea of the marriage came from him, as expected

Of course you said yes: you loved him as much as you loved yourself, so the idea of being by his side forever was everything you could expect

And with your positive answer, Izuna has been more intense than ever

He made plans for you: the house you would share, the memories you would create in it, the life you would build there

Everything was fine, even when he forgot to ask your opinion

Until the moment he mentioned the children he expect to bring to the world with you

You knew that once Izuna got attached to an idea, it was impossible to make him change his mind, so things weren’t different with the fatherhood thing

In a short amount of time, this became the central theme of his dreams and his favorite thing to discuss with you

Well, to speak about with you, because you barely said anything during these conversations

Instead, you tried to appear as positive and supportive as you could

But as the days passed and the marriage came closer, it was getting harder for you to hide how much this was making you suffer

Because yes, Izuna knew you had no clan and no family, then being the last representative of your lineage, but you never had the courage to tell him about your infertility

And now that he seemed not to think of anything else than having kids with you, you couldn’t dream of ruining his happiness

(Fortunately Izuna was used to your quietness, so he never questioned your silence when he spoke about this)

You stayed strong until you could during the following weeks, but the day before the marriage had pushed you too far

You couldn’t – you simply could not ruin the life of the man you loved revealing that secret to him

So you decided you had to make a sacrifice, for the both of you

Early that day, before the sun appeared, you packed your things and left

You left no apology letter, no message of goodbye, nothing. You just left before anything could stop you or anyone could see you

You traveled alone during a couple of hours

You had no idea of where you were going, or what you were going to do when you had to stop at somewhere to rest, but you forbade yourself to think of coming back

At some moment, you looked at the sky and noticed the midday was close and felt hungry

You stopped under a tree and was about to unpack the food you brought with you when you saw you had company

You raised your eyes and, when you recognized Izuna standing there, staring at you with a look full of questions, you lost the last drop of balance you had in you

You cried so hard you thought you were going to pass out

He approached you was about to involve you in his arms, but you begged him not to touch you, claiming that you couldn’t marry him and that he must have not followed you

But Izuna was a persistent man, and after an hour trying to calm you down, he managed to make you speak

There was no point in hiding anything from him now, so you just told him everything

You explained that you’d marry him and make him the happiest man alive if it wasn’t for this dream with which you couldn’t help him

And that you couldn’t be so cruel to the point of bound him to you and deny him of this at the same time

When you finished your story, it was Izuna’s time to remain in silence

You could feel the rush of feelings stirring inside him as his eyes would go from one side to another, trying to assimilate all of that

You didn’t know if he was going to leave you there, to kill you or to burst in tears, and that was freaking you out

It was when you begged him to say something, anything, but not stay that quiet

And he spoke. But when he did, there was nothing but a restored passion in his tone

You didn’t understand that until he explained that he thought you were kidnapped or something worse happened, but he was glad that it was nothing like this

Before you could stop him, Izuna caught you in a tight embrace, telling you to never do that again

And that he was sorry for not letting you at will to take off this weight of you chest and that if he knew about this he would have never pushed you this far

You came back with him and the marriage happened as planned the next day

Some time later, you found about about a kid of an Uchiha couple that just lost their parents

You talked to each other and with the kid’s remaining family and came to the conclusion that they would live better with you

The family talked to the kid, and when you had your first meeting, you almost forgot about all the past suffering 🌹

[bisexual-dragon-larryisreal]

POF THORUGH THE HOUSES🔮

1st House POF

You came into this life to be independent without harming or living in disdain of others’ beliefs. Highly competitive, you like the game of challenge and the thrill of the win. But you must win honestly, without cheating or harming others.

Your opposing position is the 7th and you must not become entangled in dependent relationships. You can be loving, supportive, and caring, and loyal without becoming dependent on the love from another for your happiness.

2nd House POF

You must discover what’s really important in life and stick by it. What makes you feel safe, secure, and on solid ground. 2nd house about security and about “things.” You must only have things that reflect the true-you. Think that painting your second cousin created is ugly? Don’t keep it out where you can see it. Be brave. Don’t’ fall into fads and other people’s expectations of what is of value.

You’ve earned luck with money (unless there are difficult aspects to your part of fortune or other planets in the 2nd). Your projects and goals, have to be in keeping with your true values in order for them to be financially successful.

Your opposing position is the 8th house of other people’s money and possessions. The trick to balance here is to discern what is yours from what belongs to others. This also applies to sexual values. Be your own person and, unless it harms others, indulge in your own sexual values.

3rd House POF

Language and words are important and joy comes from understanding how others think and experience the world around them. You strive to understand how relationships work. This helps you with self-clarity. Your earned karma is a talent for understanding the nature of relationships and communication and in sharing your wisdom with others.

Your opposing position is in the 9th house. Here, the pull is to dismiss the consciousness of humans and immerse yourself in spiritual connections. You might get lost in idealism and miss out of the reality that idealism is expressed through the minds of humans. Being a hermit in a cave or an ashram or pulls you away from the people you are meant to teach. Balance of body, mind, and spirit is your soul’s goal.

4h House POF

Your earned karma is about setting down roots, either figuratively or literally. Nourishing the beginnings of life, plants, pets, ideas, projects, and more are where you shine. Building emotional foundations that can stand the test of opposition is important. Know your heart and stay with it.

Your opposing position is the 10th. Learning that building a foundation that can nourish growth takes time. Impatience and wanting results in an instant will undermine your work. Giving up too soon will derail your destined path. Resist these temptations and your life will work smoothly.

5th House POF

Creativity, expanding the world of possibilities, and expression of your inner self is your earned karma. Dreams become realities, living in joy and happiness through your creations are your path to happiness. Whether you express through art, philosophy, music, empowering others, adventure, discovery, or whatever else, you must be creative to fulfill your chosen path.

Your opposing position is the 11th house. This is the house of friends, organizations, and the dreams and wishes of others. Do not be lured into changing your visions for those of others. Stay true to your creativity and be inspired by others without compromising your expression of what brings you joy.

6th House POF

Work and responsibility are your paths to joy. Using your time and energy will and in practical ways brings you fulfillment and satisfaction. You are good at teaching others how to do this, too. You are good at not becoming mired in the messiness of indecision and emotional quandaries. You can systematize and organize in a way that allows you to breathe freely and enjoy life without confusion and unnecessary burdens.

Your opposing position is the 12th house that draws you into the depth of emotions and inner worlds. To successfully work with the depth of human psyche and not become lost in its maze, compassion is needed. Without compassion, you become ineffective in leading a life of systematic organization. To balance the energies of the 6th and 12th, a study of astrology, Qabala, numerology, and such are systematic enough to address both organization and compassion.

7th House POF

With the POF in the 7th, you are happier and more successful in life when you are in a loving, stable relationship. Being in a loving relationship—of any kind—brings you in closer contact with your greater, spiritual consciousness. The more joy you bring to the others in your partnership(s) the more joy you find in yourself.

Your opposing position is in the 1st house of self-identity. Living out of the opposing position alone means you will always be seeking, but not necessarily recognizing the perfect partner. You have trouble finding your true identity because you never truly connect at a deep level to others. You will have a sense of disharmony and no clear purpose. Life feels meaningless and lonely, even when you are with someone.

The balance is to learn how to connect at a deep level with others. Feel what it is like for them. Experience their love for you and your love for them. Know that their needs are as important as yours. Be willing to sacrifice for the happiness of those important to you, knowing that they will do the same for you.

8th House POF

Others will always be there for you. Solutions will always appear when needed. Discovery of self comes through the gifts and blessings from others. Through others, you learn to be flexible, and welcome change and growth. Your curiosity about what makes things work, how others achieve greatness or amazing skills is what drives you to better yourself.

Your opposing position is the 2nd house of belongings, values, and security. If you live out of this position, you will seek happiness through having things and money. You won’t learn from the failures of others and will make the same mistakes over and over. The tug of war between house 8 and house 2 confuses you about what is worth holding on to and what needs to be discarded or released. The 8th house is there to show you everything that needs to be released because it is damaging or has outlived its usefulness. It will bring people into your life to show you the way. This applies to actions, behavior, people, and material possessions. If you don’t heed the call of the 8th house your life will be one of constantly collecting, acquiring, and being fearful of loss.

9th House POF

Truth, knowledge, wisdom, and expansion is your gift here. You seek to understand life beyond the material and mundane. You seek to know Truth. The far corners of the earth call you so you can experience life in its kaleidoscope of color and texture. You commune with nature and the cosmos itself.

The opposing position is the 3rd house of communication. But it is communication without deep understanding. It is often about defending your position and speaking AT someone or preaching, lecturing, commanding. Living from this point, you would tend to exaggerate, create “alternate” truths, express in ways that glorify you.

Balancing the 9th and 3rd, you have a gift of communicating in a powerful and persuasive way because it comes from a place of truth. You visit other lands to know the people and understand their way of living and communicating. You seek communion with the highest spiritual realms. You can become a great leader in the spiritual world and/or in the realm of helping others become empowered.

10th House POF

The gifts from having your POF in the 10th house are often problematic to achieve. It is about fame, being an authority, that is trusted by others, and living life by your own rules. This comes after sustained effort and developing the emotional maturity to handle it. Holding on to childish emotions or a need for adulation is likely to trigger a tumble from high places.

With opposing position in the 4th house, there is a pull to hide from public life because the compassion for the plight of the world can become a crushing responsibility. The balance is to understand what must be done with clear vision and understanding, having compassion without becoming trapped by it.

11th House POF

In this house, you have the gift of being a true visionary, able to look far into the future and see the path that must be taken for the greatest good. Independence from the traps of ordinary life are a strong urge and you carry a magnetic attraction for those who need to find their way.

The opposing position is the 5th house. This causes a restlessness and a feeling that you MUST do something for the world or for a cause. Sharing the burdens of the cause, project, or good works is grudgingly accepted for, if you don’t balance the 11th/5th axis, you always feel that you are the ONLY one who can do the job—that you are the chosen one and need no assistance. The balance is to realize that in involving others in the process, you are helping them in the highest way for their good.

12th House POF

This is the position of the meditator and seeker of inner peace. Discovering the truth of your inner self and the mysteries of the universe brings your greatest joy. The opposing position is the 6th house of duty. Here you might find yourself trapped in having to “do your duty” in the ordinary world and not be able to indulge in your inner work. The balance is to do your duty without identifying with it but realizing that everything can be a tool for inner reflection. The Zen saying, “What do you do before enlightenment? You chop wood and carry water. What do you do after enlightenment? You chop wood and carry water.” fits POF in the 12th house after a balance between the subtle and material world has been achieved.

POF in the Signs

The sign the POF is in and its opposite sign must be combined with the nature of the house where it resides. The signs show how you can balance the karma associated with the house placement of the POF and its opposing sign.

This is also true if you look at your North and South Nodes. The North node represents untapped possibilities (untapped in past lives). It represents emotional treasures you must work to uncover and develop. The North node is your potential in life. The South node shows stasis, stagnation, and resistance to the changes necessary in order to develop the potential of the North node—but that’s another blog.

Aries

You bring with you from past lives, bravery and a pioneering spirit. Aries is a me-first sign and sure of his decisions and beliefs. Libra is a you-first sign and will suppress her own feelings in order to “keep the peace.” Use the Libra’s ability to weigh pros and cons and to see more than one side of a situation, but don’t get caught up in indecision and living by others’ standards.

Taurus

Embrace what is solid and enduring. You bring with you the ability to build a firm foundation for your life. Don’t get trapped in the judgmental, critical, and observer mindset of the opposing sign. Root your mind in honesty, generosity, emotional involvement with love and the beauties of life.

Gemini

Knowledge, communication, and learning are the gifts you bring with you from past lives. The karma is from the opposing sign of Sagittarius that wants to expand, grow, shine, and experience the adventure of life without really understanding it. Sagittarius judges others without understanding them. Wisdom is the balancer of this axis. Learn, understand, and apply it wisely.

Cancer

This is the karma gift of love, nurturing, and deep emotional connections. A life filled with warmth and closeness is important for you. Your opposing sign of Capricorn, tries to pull you into distancing yourself from feelings and being more pragmatic. This is a good balancer if yo don’t deny your karmic nature of tender harmony with life.

Leo

Leo is about leadership, being a source of inspiration to others, and great achievements but needs to be recognized and repaid for their generosity. The opposing sign is Aquarius, the impersonal doer of good works that seeks to help the masses more than individual and shun personal involvement, the limelight and fame. The balancer is to consider both the individual and the masses. Give without requiring praise and return, yet graciously accept it when given.

Virgo

Virgo brings the gift of organization and analysis to find joy in order. The opposing sign, Pisces flows toward disorder and a let-it-be attitude. Pisces can pull you into a world of intuition, disorder, and deep feeling The balancer and path to joy is to embrace both worlds and to seek order in the nebulous flow of events and time. In Science, the discovery that there is order in Chaos opened up vast discoveries about the universe.

Libra

Libra needs balance, and defines herself by the reflection from friendships and relationships. Libra often has difficulty discerning priorities because she sees all sides of situations. The opposing sign, Aries defines himself by his own standards. Indecision is never an issue. Sometimes rash and in a hurry, Aries often leaves projects unfinished. The balancer is to develop a sense of self apart from others but still consider that they are a reflection of yourself. Take the gift of Aries’ bravery and willingness to take risks.

Scorpio

A Scorpio POF seeks to understand the mysteries of the universe. Scorpio tears down the old and worn out. He seeks to uncover deception and expose bare truth. There is no peace nor patience in pure Scorpio. The opposing sign of Taurus seeks to build a stable, secure existence. There is patience and a peace of mind in the security of a well-built foundation. The balancer is in building from a foundation of truth and in showing others new pathways to their truth.

Sagittarius

Truth, knowledge, and freedom are your keywords. Your fiery energy pushes for more and more, sometimes without a plan or an end in sight, reveling in the sheer joy of expansion. Often there is a directionless drive to have it all. The opposing sign of Gemini brings direction, discernment, and insight into the world of duality. Gemini makes decisions based on the dual nature of things. The balancer is taking the skill of Gemini to see two sides of situations, analyze, and make decisions into the drive toward freedom and expanding your horizons.

Capricorn

Capricorn POF is about form, structure, bridges, focus. The drive is to create in a purposeful, concrete way. You need to take life in your own hands and be in control. The opposing sign, Cancer is nebulous, emotional, watery, freely relying on intuition and “gut feelings.” Allowing the energy of Cancer into your life brings you the ability to experience deep joy in your accomplishments and to freely accept help from others without giving up your authority.

Aquarius

Aquarius POF brings out to the rim of society. You don’t play by the rules and forge your own way, logical or not. Possibilities excite you and you won’t be contained in societies’ box. Freedom and fairness are important. The opposing sign, Leo brings a desire for power and adulation for the gifts you give to the world. The balancer is to turn this need for power inward and transform it to self-empowerment and pride in the work you do the empowers others, too.

Pisces

Pisces POF is about oneness, universality, and the flow of energy that unites us all. Pisces seeks to escape the traps and ruts of mundane living and experience the music of the spheres. The opposing sign, Virgo is grounded, organized, practical. By embracing this part of you and bringing it into the nebulous world of Pisces, you can inspire and transcend the rules of the mundane world to help others discover the cosmos within.

*(I found all of this online looking on this topic)

[jiminniethemarshmallow]

Thank You For Your Service IV (M)

Thank you @7stars-aligned13 for the beautiful mood board!!  Pairing: Jimin x Reader Genre: smut, angst, fluff Warnings: mentions of trouble conceiving, lots of time skips, squirting, face fucking, dom!Jimin, slight role play, impreg kink, dirty talk, fingering, cream pie Word Count: 24,500

Part 1~ Part 2~ Part 3~ Part 4

You hiccup, already crying fat tears before you’ve even heard the news. You fear those words, feel the emptiness, and it hurts your soul. The straight faced doctor takes her time coming into your room, letting out a sigh once she sees your face. It’s from exasperation, but you would like to interpret it as sympathy. She stands at the foot of your bed, waiting until you calm your breathing enough to hear her.

“As I am sure you have guessed, you are not with child.” Those words break your heart for the sixth time and you break down into sobs, hiding your face in Jimin’s pillows.

Six months. It has been six long months since you were wed and you still are not pregnant. Even after all those late nights, early mornings when you’d send the servants away before your schedules began, the remedies and special foods, the slightly uncomfortable positions and pillow mountains, you still are not yet carrying your husband’s child. And it crushes you.

Yes, you know having children is not all you are good for, but it is one of your duties as a Queen. Having heirs is something that only you can do and the entire kingdom awaits expectantly for the news of an incoming prince or princess that they can idolize and adore, so you feel the pressure at all times of day— as well as guilt in regards to your barren womb. You should be fertile at this youthful time in your life. Both you and Jimin have passed every physical examination and remain in excellent health, which is why it is so perplexing to you that you are having trouble conceiving. Rosé, Queen of the kingdom just north of yours, is already pregnant and she was wed to her husband an entire month after you. Twins, you hear she’s having. You’d hate to fall behind her kingdom in any aspect, even in such a trivial competition as having children. She has nothing to do with your family, and yet, you still feel so inferior because you do not yet have one.

“To put it bluntly,” Your doctor begins, looking down at the paper she’s holding, scribbled with notes. “I believe the cause of your current condition— or lack thereof— is due to the poisoning you endured several months ago. It is possible that the potion affected your reproductive organs in some imperceptible way; your kidneys exhibited symptoms of its effects for nearly a month after your recovery, so we cannot completely rule out this possibility. But, Your Highness, the only way I would be able to test this hypothesis is through surgery to visually inspect your organs.”

You shudder at the thought of being cut open, shaking your head animatedly. Maybe you would consider this “inspection” after a year of effort and failure, but you would not take such drastic measures this early. No matter how much the constant failure hurt.

“If my infertility is due to the poison-“ You swallow thickly when your voice comes out as a mere whimper.

“Let us not be so hasty in calling it infertility, Your Majesty.” She interrupts, stare lightening just slightly. She’s learned the tiniest bit of respect since working under Jimin, his low tolerance for rudeness and spiny disposition during medical examinations slowly beginning to unnerve her cold discourse. Many a time has he reprimanded her for speaking to you informally or for her lack of sympathy, and you are finally starting to see a change, though she still interrupts you to interject.

“If my current inability to conceive is because of the poison,” You try again, “Are there any elixirs or pills I could take to lessen its effects? There must be something!”

“Because we do not know entirely if this is due to the poison, I am hesitant to give you treatment— sometimes getting pregnant is difficult for some people and there is nothing medically wrong with them. For now I can only give you advice on conception: try to lower your stress levels, eat more fruits and vegetables for vitamins, and do not over exert yourself. That is all for today, I will be back in a month for your regular check up unless I am needed sooner.” With that she turns and leaves, not waiting to be dismissed and leaving you alone in your room.

It is the middle of winter and the bone-chilling winds whip against your windows. The palace is heated by fire, but you refuse to light your fireplace, choosing to sit and suffer in the cold alone as you wallow in your gloom. Jimin has been busy all day with kingdom affairs, out and about performing duties that not even your father cared enough to get done. The people love him, love how involved he is and how much he cares, and they never hesitate to alert him to any problems they might have that Jimin could take care of. Of course he doesn’t mind, you knew he would never be able to stay inside these sheltered walls for long when he was so used to the excitement of training and battle, but you wished he would spare a little time to cater to your issues. His absence during your monthly checkups is not unusual. For the first three he held your hand and sat with you, on the fourth he left in the middle due to an urgent matter, and these last two he has been out of the castle altogether. Since your third appointment, when your hopes of being pregnant were at its highest, he seemed to have a very negative attitude toward your checkups. He told you he did not intentionally avoid these meetings, and you think that is partly true, but you know that he must hate the constant rejection and is deliberately making himself unavailable when he thinks you will be rejected again. He would much rather hear the bad news from you instead of your cold doctor.

When you asked your father to accompany you, he sort of grimaced and then politely declined. You understand, the thought of addressing the fact that your daughter has not only been deflowered, but is being repeatedly taken in the efforts of bearing fruit is sickening to you, too. Also, he is not very adept at comforting you when you break down like this, face buried in your husband’s pillows and shoulders shaking with sobs.

Telling by the ache in your skull and the completely soaked through cushion beneath your head, a long time has passed by the time you finally raise your face at the sound of Jimin shuffling into your bedroom. He shivers once the door is closed again, expecting warmth but being met with bitterness.

“It is freezing in here.” He rasps beneath his breath, ignoring you momentarily to light the fireplace, moving to shed the outer layers of his clothing once the fire is of decent size. The single glance he took at you upon entering is all he needed to know what has transpired, and he is in no rush to hear the devastating words. It’s only until he is in comfortable attire that he turns to face you, easing your head onto his chest with a curled bottom lip before he’s even settled properly on the mattress. “My love...”

Your tears flow freely onto his chest and he says nothing, sighing into your hair because by now this has become a common occurrence.

“She said it might be,” You snivel, “because of the poison.” He closes his eyes, having suspected the same thing but praying that it was not true. He wondered if the poison would have any long lasting effects on you, or on your future offspring, but dismissed the thought immediately. Although he knows nothing of what the doctor has said, he feels discouraged nonetheless. His past failure to protect you continues to circle around his head like a vulture, tormenting him to no end and making its appearance to pick at his wounds whenever he starts to move on from it. Six months feels like a long time, but it is apparent that his emotional scars need far longer to fully heal. And for that he owes to Jinwoo.

“I am s-sorry for being s-so weak.” You wipe your nose, face red and puffy from both tears and embarrassment. “Half a year ago you had not yet seen me shed tears, and now...” Almost as if the word itself had summoned them, fresh droplets fall from your eyes, looking pitifully up at the man who had stolen your heart. Only, he must have given it back to you at some point because you feel too much these days and you are tired of hurting like this. God, you probably look so ugly right now, you can feel how swollen and red your eyes and cheeks are, your self confidence plummeting to an all-time low.

“You are beautiful and strong, (Y/n), do not ever think less of yourself. You have good reason to feel the way you do, please do not think that you have to be stoic in front of me.” Like always, Jimin says exactly the right thing to ease your mind, using his hand to wipe your wet face and burrowing into the sheets with you attached to his side, his heat warming the icy sheets that drowned you when you had been alone.

You retired to bed early last night, which is why you can afford to wake up with the sun this morning. Jimin sleeps soundly behind you, but his presence is felt stiffly on your ass between the thin layers of clothing. Snow twinkles on your windowsill, probably the last snow of the season, but you find the sun beaming as brightly as ever to illuminate the room. With the weather beginning to warm in preparation for spring, you’ve grown accustomed to the gentle sound of melting snow dripping outside your window. Mornings like these are scarce and you plan to make the most of it.

You attempt to turn and face your beloved, but his arms tighten around your waist, locking you in your position. A sleepy groan tickles your ear, the vibrations of his voice sending a shiver through you.

“You’re up early.” Jimin mumbles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. His voice is always so deep and raspy in the mornings, his dialect coming forth with a yawn. You could listen to him speak like that forever, but all you can think about at the moment is how good his moans would sound with the added rumble of bass that comes from sleep.

“So are you.” You snort with a sly wiggle of your hips. The twitch of his length against you sends a flash of exhilaration through your system— time has been short lately and it has been far too long since you’ve last felt him. Apparently he feels the same way, his hand effortlessly gliding up your rib cage to palm at your clothed breast with a deep sigh. You can tell his eyes are still closed due to the laziness of his movements, but it doesn’t matter when his tender touches set your body on fire like this.

His lips find their way to your neck as he shifts closer, kissing and sucking gently enough not to leave marks but to get your heart racing with need. “Take this off.” You follow his instructions and promptly shed the nightgown from your body, leaving you nude against him as he presses himself to you once again, this time slipping a hand between your legs. Your nipples harden from the brief chill of the room before you adjust the covers over your shoulder again, and Jimin takes advantage of this with two fingers, twisting the bud between them to send a spike of pleasure down your spine.

You muffle a groan once his fingers begin to tease at your lower lips, spreading them and toying with the outer skin just to build your anticipation. He wants you to drip before he’s even touched you properly, to whimper into the sheets until you can’t take it anymore and call out his name in frustration. Your clit gets pinched between his fingers when he squeezes them closed, trapping the bud as he continues to rub you up and down, and you find yourself panting in a matter of seconds. Soon, his fingers start to get coated in the essence that seeps from you. It’s so sexy that he can barely stand it. Jimin loves to feel your warm juices trickling out of you, working you up almost feels better than tending to himself, and his breathing hitches too when you begin to wiggle in his grasp.

“Look at my gorgeous Queen, getting soaking wet from just a few light touches. So cock hungry this early in the morning.” His words make you quiver and whine, the teasing quality of his voice right up against the shell of your ear driving you absolutely insane. “I’ll give you what you want if you tell me~” You hadn’t expected him to be so playful after just waking up, but it’s a pleasant surprise.

“I want you to make me cum,” You breathe out between pants. “Then I want you to pump me full of your seed. Please, My King.” Your words have their own special effect on him, evident by the lustful groan he releases into your hair and how his hips subtly shift behind you. Immediately, his fingers move to your clit to lightly graze over the hood until you buck into him, only then does he add pressure. Your back arches into his palm as he continues to play with your nipple, having turned his attention to the other in order to provide the same treatment, pulling and tweaking at it, working the nerves until they’re raw and sensitive enough to have you gasping with every flick.

Jimin doesn’t need to be able to see you in your entirety to know how you look right now. You’re completely helpless to his touch, he can feel you writhing against him and heating up the space between the sheets as your temperature rises. He can feel your heart beating hard against your chest— and he wonders if you can feel his from his position pressed against your back. It has been a while since he’s allowed himself to indulge in these fantasies. He’s pleased to know that he still has every inch of you committed to memory and is able to so easily have you at his fingertips, quite literally. These past months, your focus has been solely on procreating in the bedroom and rarely for the fun of it, so this is refreshing. But he still asks anyway.

“You want me to spill my seed into you, hm? Are you fertile right now?” His words slip past your ears as you lose yourself to the circles he draws into your bud, but somehow you manage to catch them at the last second.

“It does not matter, I want you anyway.” The answer is no, you aren’t at your most fertile at the moment, but this isn’t about that. Regardless of if anything will come of it or not, you want to feel Jimin paint your walls white with his love, something you think you’ve become addicted to. You bask in the feeling of having him throb and twitch and lose control while at the mercy of your tight walls, even when he’s pounding your weak frame into whatever surface he’s decided to take you on, and the thought has you galloping toward your peak faster than expected.

His leg slips between yours to prop them open, two of his fingers dancing their way into your clenching entrance, the intrusion pulling a loud moan from your lips. They glide and twirl within you much to your delight, but before you can enjoy it fully, they pop out and slither back up to your clit with a thick coating of your own slick. It doesn’t bother you, you could cum like this easily, but what really makes you gape is the feeling of Jimin’s hard member grinding against your ass. You can feel that his briefs are now damp with a mixture of precum and your wetness as you continue to drip down your thighs and make a mess of yourself, and you can’t help but rock your hips into his motion. You grind into each other with sensual synchronization and soon he’s panting along with you, the swollen head of his cock peeking out from his briefs to wet your cheek, teasing you endlessly.

“Jimin,” You whine, praying that he’ll let you cum quickly this morning despite his teasing mood. Every buck into his fingers shoots jolts of pleasure through you and every press against his hot cock has you throbbing at your emptiness. It’s a never-ending loop that has both of you moaning in no time, and it isn’t long before the coil in your stomach tightens to its peak. “Fuck, I’m cumming.” You whisper quietly, your breath being stolen away by the feeling of your orgasm. Your husband groans behind you, forcing his own hips to jerk to a stop as you roll against him to ride out the waves. He can feel you pulsing against his fingers and suddenly craves to feel you around his member, removing his hand from between your legs to push away his bottoms.

“Are you ready for me, darling?” He whispers with soft kisses to your shoulder as you begin to relax again. His tip glides effortlessly against your drenched lips and the fire inside you reignites instantly.

“I am always ready for you, my love.” Turning your head, you find his lips and savor the passionate kiss you share, a warmth blooming in your chest that saves you from the cold of the bedroom. Ever so slowly he pushes inside you, bringing a hand up to hold your face to his as his tongue slips between your lips. Vibrations mingle throughout your bodies as you both moan, the insertion tight as he stretches you open in the early morning light, his morning wood always so sensitive especially with your recent bout of abstinence. On the first thrust his fingers intertwine with yours, and this is the most intimate moment you’ve had with him in a long while. It feels like ages have passed since you’ve indulged each other in slow sex and you are starting to realize just how much you’ve craved it. “I missed you.” You mumble against his lips, barely wanting to pull away to look at him.

“I’ve missed you, too.” Jimin smiles, his eyes still closed but hand still caressing your face. He uses it to skim down your figure, hooking under your leg to lift it over his own and allow him deeper into your cavern, angling himself until you squeeze his hand with a shaky moan.

He honestly thinks he could stay like this forever: wrapped up in your warmth, surrounded by blankets, giving you all the love and pleasure he can provide. Things have been so hectic these last few months, an odd tension growing between you two that he can always feel but can’t quite put his finger on, but in these calm moments before the chaos of the day, he feels completely safe and at ease. Being King is no easy task, this he expected, but this is the only time he gets to shed the expectations, the pretenses, the pressure and just be your lover. Just like at the beginning of your relationship— and how things were 8 months ago, when the Crown was first placed in his hands.

You feel almost like a rag doll in his arms as he snaps his hips into you, allowing him to take you and guide you to bliss. Your hips rock back into him subtly, inner muscles squeezing around his shaft and gripping onto him, begging him to stay buried inside to occupy your lonely walls and empty womb. Pressure builds in your lower abdomen again, accompanied by a flush that takes over your body and warms you uncomfortably under the sheets. Jimin tosses the coverings aside when it gets too much, sweat slicking where your bodies connect. Your nails dig into the flesh of his ass when you reach a hand back to rest on the muscle, groaning at how you can feel every movement whenever his hips surge forward, his strength jolting you with his slow, powerful strokes. His length curves perfectly inside you, touching all your favorite spots and it becomes increasingly apparent that you won’t last long like this. He encourages you with gentle sweet nothings tickled against your ear.

“My lovely wife, always so good to me.” Jimin nuzzles his face in your hair, pulling you impossibly closer as his hand returns to your breast. “Always so soft and wet around my cock, darling. Are you getting close again, my love?” You whimper loudly and nod, not trusting your voice entirely when you’re feeling so breathless. “You sound so sweet moaning for me like that. Shall we let the entire castle know what a splendid morning we’re having together? Let them hear how well your King takes care of you.”

“Jimin~” You croon as he picks up pace, hips slapping against your backside and filling the air alongside your heavy breathing. Removing his bottom hand from yours, he props himself up on his elbow to look down over you, opening his legs wider to gain as much leverage as possible to fuck into you. The speed and power he achieves like this has you crying out into the open air, uncaring of who hears how wrecked you sound. You’re certain that the guards keeping watch at your door are uncomfortable by the display of lust, but who are they to judge when Jimin touches just the right places within you to have your body coming apart at the seams?

“Cum for me, my love,” Your husband’s voice feels distant as your thoughts float away. You are not aware enough to marvel at the sheer strength and endurance of his hips, his pace not faltering even once. Crumpling the sheets beneath you, you turn your face into the pillow as your body starts to quiver, a warm hand gripping onto your hip to keep you in place against the onslaught of pleasure. “There you go, milk me of my seed.”

Just the simple thought he plants in your mind’s eye is enough to send you into heaven, your walls clamping down around him with a scream of bliss, just as he requested. Feeling him so deeply makes your eyes roll, every stroke kissing the entrance of your womb and you pray he gives you every last drop he has. With only a few more pushes of his hips, you feel his body tense behind you and shiver, an overwhelmingly sexy groan breathed right into your ear.

It takes several moments of gentle thrusting before he’s satisfied, your body sufficiently full of his sperm and skin tingling with the aftermath of a beautiful orgasm you happily shared. Jimin kisses his way down from the side of your cheeks and neck to your shoulder and arm, ignoring the thin layer of perspiration that dries quickly in the brisk morning air. Though soft, he remains inside of you as he settles himself back against the mattress and holds your body to his, lifting the sheets to cover you before the chill returns. You feel safe. Completely and utterly safe and comfortable in your lover’s arms as you drift back to sleep.

But the peace is short lived because just as you begin to dream again, you feel Jimin pull out of you and shift away, attempting to be as stealthy as possible as he slips from bed. He winces when you turn to your other side to face him, sleepy eyes watching as he pulls on his underwear again. You are unable to return the sweet smile he offers you, already missing the way his skin felt against yours.

“Will you not stay to cuddle me?” You ask quietly, unable to understand why he must leave so soon. The smile on his face turns sad, eyes flickering to the door as several consecutive knocks sing on the wood.

“I have many duties to fulfill today, my love.”

‘And no time for me...’ You think with a poorly concealed frown, burrowing deeper into the bedspread when he opens the door for your servants, who get to work on preparing him for the day immediately. Deep down you know you likely will not interact with him until nightfall as he scrambles around the castle and kingdom serving his duties, but you try not to feel the distasteful irritation in your chest and send him off with a kiss when he makes his exit. Sometimes, though, you cannot help but think he was more eager to be with you when he was merely a soldier.

Jimin sits at a round table meeting with his advisors to discuss the affairs of the kingdom, in which there is not much to report. This is a mandatory meeting they must have weekly and they rarely last long. Most of the time, the conversations divulge into unrelated, off topic subjects just to pass the time, and Jimin has no problem with this on most days. He has a good relationship with his advisors and there is almost never any need for him to use his status as King during their discussions. Today, however, his fuse is a little short. It may be because of the all too frequent restless nights he has been experiencing, or from the lack of quality time he has spent with you, but he is far more irritable than usual. All he can think about is how disappointed you looked when he left and how much he’d rather be cuddled up back in bed with you instead of sitting in front of this counsel.  

“Do not worry, the Queen has already taken care of it.” Someone says, he does not know who said it because he is barely paying attention.

“Pardon my coarseness, Your Highness, but it is my understanding that Her Majesty has not yet conceived.” The man presents this in a questioning manner, but Jimin can hear the underlying condescension.

“You are correct.” He replies in a low voice.

“It has been 9 months since your matrimony. She should bear your heirs with haste.” The room swells with voices as his advisors begin to talk about you, each taking their turn to put in their opinions and criticism. He can hardly believe what he is hearing. They speak as though it is your fault that you are not pregnant, as if you are being defiant by not bearing him children, like it is a choice that you have made consciously. Anger bubbles in his chest, blood boiling as they continue ranting about you right in front of him as though they were not saying terrible things about his wife. He stands abruptly upon hearing someone tell a story about how his wife refused to birth him any more children because he “was acting like one” himself. Jimin interrupts just as the man is about to make a comment about stubborn wives, his voice billowing from his throat like heavy plumes of smoke that quickly engulf the room.

“How dare you speak of my wife— your Queen— in such a disrespectful manner! Do you accuse her of treachery against me? Against this nation? You have the gall to insult her efforts on something she cannot control, to doubt her intentions and loyalty to this kingdom and her own family? I should have you all removed from this castle permanently for suggesting such a thing, what do you have to say about that?!” He looks around the silent room at each of their faces, all of them looking utterly shocked by his outburst. Jimin has never needed to assert his authority over them like this, but they have gone too far today. Though he is the youngest in the room, he is easily the most intimidating when angry, regardless of if he were the King or not. Drawing in a deep breath, he tries to calm himself, running a hand through his hair as he takes his seat once more. “It is my fault anyway, not hers. It is my duty as well.”

It is quiet for a long while, the men around the table hesitate to speak again until one man builds up the courage to break the stillness.

“Do not despair, Your Highness, you are both still young, there is plenty of time to have children.” He reassures, followed by similar comforting phrases from the others. Jimin does not respond as he stares out of the window, a solemn look overtaking his face in place of the relaxed and neutral expression he normally wears. He wonders if you face this criticism regularly wherever you go, if people who are supposed to be your supporters are slowly losing hope in you. You already beat yourself up about not being pregnant, he fears what would happen if those thoughts were validated by others. Something must be done about this immediately.

It is silent for another long pause. “You are all dismissed.” He says with a flick of his hand.

*** *** ***

Your servants follow you around quite stubbornly, attempting (and failing) to be as unnoticeable as possible, but their presence is the only thing you can focus on. If you sigh too heavily they all come scurrying over, asking what was the matter, offering to take care of whatever task you had set out to complete. Yes, it was your mother’s dying wish for you to accept your loyal attendants, and it was your father’s order for them to look after you, but you cannot help but feel that this treatment is a bit excessive. It is almost laughable when you reflect on it: how just a year prior you were known largely for your independence, and now you could hardly find a moment to yourself. The only times you can get away with having minimal supervision is when you go out into town, where you may request only one or two guards or servants to accompany you.

Since becoming the official Queen of this nation, you have taken it upon yourself to care for the nuances of your society, to help individuals and keep a close relationship with the people. Jimin was focused on many of the larger issues that affected groups of citizens, like rebuilding one of the marketplaces that suffered damages in a fire last week, as well as handling international business with neighboring kingdoms. Naturally, everyone took a great liking to him and his policies and the people offered him immense support, but your job as Queen was to support the people. So, every week you go into town and buy a book from a novice writer, read it, then publish an unofficial review for the stories you enjoy. Not only does this boost the writer’s credibility, popularity, and sales, it also allows you to communicate with your people. Your presence in town never goes unnoticed, and often times people give you great recommendations on stories you should interest yourself with. It is the highlight of your week since all you can do is read in the quiet moments within the castle.

It is now early spring, trees budding with sweet smelling blossoms and the beginnings of greenery, displaying their proud potency in brilliant hues that bleach you into the gray of a dead willow. Still, your spirits are beginning to lift the farther you distance yourself from the castle. Walking through town, you breathe in all of the scents around you. Street vendors sell an array of foods that you do not see within the castle often and your mouth waters as you step up to one, picking out a pastry covered in sugar, something that you can easily pull apart with your fingers without the need of utensils. Before you can lift it to your mouth, the guard beside you stops you, plucking a small piece for himself to taste for poison. As a royal, you always thought this job was unnecessary and ridiculous before, but after the catastrophe at your wedding, you now understand it’s significance. That does not stop you from pouting, however, as you are forced to wait at least 5 minutes before the stiff guard allows you to dig into your snack.

You continue through the market, admiring crafts from artisans with masterful handiwork and struggle to keep your hand out of your purse whenever something catches your eye. This market is not the closest to the palace, in fact, it is quite far from it, but you have found that the most valuable work comes from the honest workers that live in smaller homes and lead honest lives, not from the traders and merchants who buy their goods from others and claim them as their own in the wealthy districts. The people who live on the outskirts work harder, and they are the ones you need to support the most.

“This would look beautiful hanging from the palace walls, don’t you think?” You turn toward Lilian as she browses the collection of jewelry that sits beside the tapestry you are holding, her eyes inspecting it briefly.

“I think it would look lovely in one of the sitting rooms.” She grins. Lilian always accompanies you on these types of trips. You value her opinion and reason and sympathize with her lack of outside interaction. Both of you are in the palace at almost all times and you are sure you both would go crazy if not for these couple hours outside those claustrophobic walls.

“I think so, too!” You agree, turning to the guard who continues to survey the area. “What do you think, Kyungsoo?”

He looks at it for a while, then at the others around it, finally bringing his eyes back to yours. “Whatever you desire, Your Majesty. My opinion is insignificant.” His answer causes your face to fall, rolling your eyes at him because he always says that. This is another reason why you bring Lilian along.

Sauntering into your favorite bookstore, you cheerfully greet the clerk and begin browsing for newly released books. Not long after, two women approach you, one of which you recognize to be the bookkeeper’s daughter and a new friend of yours. She always comes to talk to you about the store’s newest additions, and it gives others around her the confidence to speak to you as well. Today she is with a slightly older woman who she introduces as a rising author.

“I believe I have read one of your books before; remind me, which ones have you written?” You prompt, making the woman blush and brighten.

“Snowflower is my most popular work. It is all thanks to your review that I was finally able to get noticed in the writing community!” She beams, sparking conversation with you and Lilian about the book that the two of you enjoyed so much. It must be more than 15 minutes later that you finally decide on what to purchase, you have been listening closely to all that the ladies have to say about each author and the summaries of each story. There were multiple that piqued your interest and you could not decide so you ended up with 3 books in hand as your friend walked you to the register. One of them happens to be a story following the trials and struggles of a mother who becomes pregnant during a war. Of course you hadn’t picked this book for its theme of motherhood. It promised to be a good read— though you had overlooked it many times before today— and you certainly did not choose it because it was the closest thing to a lesson on pregnancy you could get without purchasing the entire series of “Preparing for Parenthood”, perched on a shelf that you found yourself eying the majority of your stay in the store.

Your friend talks mindlessly as she rings you up for your books, inspecting your odd selection. “So tell me, Your Majesty, are you with ch- ow!” The woman beside her pinches her arm just out of your sight, offering up a tight lipped smile when she turns to pout at her. A short flash of realization crosses her face before she returns her attention to you.

“Am I with whom?” You ask, confused.

“Are you with t-the children! Have you- have you come to see the preschoolers perform today?” She covers quickly with a nervous smile. Lilian glares at her when you are facing the other way.

“Oh! I recall hearing that they will be performing a play today, I nearly forgot!” The people around you sigh in relief at your obliviousness, resuming conversation as though nothing had happened. They give you instructions to the school and you rush there, Lilian carrying your books and Kyungsoo leading the way.

When you arrive, there are only parents and family members filling the auditorium, signifying that the play has not yet started. They chat amongst themselves in a rumble of murmurs, but the noise quiets quickly once you are noticed by a teacher that stands near the stage area.

“Her Majesty!” She gasps. “Welcome, welcome!” She practically runs to you, approaching clumsily while Kyungsoo moves to shield you with his body, stopping the woman before she can get too close. You gently move him aside to allow the woman to see and speak directly to you. “I had no idea that the Queen would be visiting today! To what do I owe you the pleasure?”

“I have come to see the children perform. It is imperative of me as Queen to support our kingdom’s youth.” You smile, noticing a weird look that crosses her face for a moment before smoothing out. Lilian has a tight smile spread across her lips just out of your peripheral.

“Of course! Well, you are just in time, the show is about to begin.” She tries to clear the front row of parents for you, but you insist that the parents of the children should get the best seats, settling for the chairs she pulls up for you at the sides of the small theater.

The moment the toddlers waddle onto stage in their costumes, your heart liquifies. They are the cutest things you have ever seen. Some of them look confused, some are pouting, but most of them are excitedly waving at their parents in the crowd, nearly tripping over each other from not looking at what’s happening in front of them. Even more heartwarming is the reactions of the parents, each and every one of them sitting up straighter and beaming with joy at the sight of their offspring, even the parents who had previously looked bored. Your attention is split between what is happening onstage and in the crowd throughout the entire play, watching the silent interactions between child and parent. You could always tell which tot belonged to which parent because of their reactions. Every child had their own lines, and whenever one stepped up to speak, the parents would lean in closer to the stage or straighten up to send a thumbs up to the wide eyes that stare back at them.

At some point, you had begun to imagine what it would be like if your own child were up there. You scan the faces of the toddlers, determining that a shy little girl bears the closest resemblance to your future baby, and you watch her the entire rest of the play. Her finger reaches into her nose several times during the performance, something your toddler would be forced to learn not to do, and she appears to be quite hesitant to say her lines. You and Jimin would act just as her parents are now, waving at her and mouthing words of encouragement when it seems like she will not speak at all, smiling proudly after she executes her parts flawlessly. Jimin would probably hold your hand as you watch her and you would be able to feel the sweat on his palms from how much he would worry for her, whispering to you how he hopes she will not cry because of how shy and quiet she tends to be. And you would whisper back that your baby is talented and will do great because she is very mature for her age, being a Princess and all.

Your eyes do not leave the girl for a minute and you are so caught up in your fantasy that you almost miss when everyone stands to clap at the end of the show. You rise slowly and offer your applause, cheeks hurting from smiling too much, but you cannot ignore the bittersweet feeling in your chest that comes when all of the children disperse and run into the arms of their waiting parents. And you are forced to remember your situation. The teacher begs you to make closing remarks and you take your place on the empty stage to address your people. Unable to focus properly, you barely know what you are saying; you thank the students and teachers for a great show, repeat a total of 4 times how adorable the children were, speak at length about how much you enjoyed everything, and once you notice that you’re rambling, you conclude quickly and move from the spotlight awkwardly. The families don’t seem to notice as they return their attention to gushing over their babies.

Just as you are about to make your exit, someone runs up to you and stops at your feet, her hair barely reaching the bottoms of your knees as she looks up at you. It is the girl you had been watching, and her arms reach up to be held once you make eye contact with her. At the approval of her parents, you lift her light body and rest her on your hip, the position comfortable and natural despite you having held a child only a few times in your life. You congratulate her and she smiles at you, turning to look at her parents as you try not to marvel at how perfectly innocent and sweet her face is.

“Your Majesty,” Her mother greets with a bow. “I was very surprised to see you here today. I had heard that you often come to these parts of town, but I would have never expected you to grace us with your presence on an occasion like this.” She is very polite, noting how the little girl has taken a liking to you already.

“I believe it is important to keep in touch with my people, and what better way is there to connect with you all than to attend a performance of my kingdom’s children?” You grin.

“I heard rumors that lately you had been feeling quite under the weather.” At this you quirk an eyebrow. She continues. “Many had assumed you were pregnant, so word spread that the King would not allow you out of the palace and that is why you had been absent for the past few weeks.” As if Jimin could tell you what to do. Yes, it is true that you had not gone outside of the palace in about 3 weeks, but that was of your own accord.

Jimin’s mother had taken a short vacation to your home upon your request after you detailed to her your troubles with conceiving in a lengthy letter, and she spent those three weeks improving your physical health with things like yoga and kegal exercises, as well as offering you very blunt and personal advice that you were almost too embarrassed to put into practice. Jimin warned you of how she was unafraid to talk about intimate topics, recalling a specific conversation she had with him in his teenage years, but you were still unprepared for the sheer amount of information she gave you during that time. You simply did not have time to go on your weekly shopping trips.

“That is... not the case.” You reply, adjusting the girl on your hip.

“Oh, then you are not pregnant?” The woman seems surprised and Lilian seems almost outraged, cutting in when you open and close your mouth with no other response.

“We have not been to this part of your town yet, are there any places you suggest we visit?” Lilian’s voice sounds through her teeth, swiftly changing the subject. You didn’t think you would have trouble talking about this, but here you stand, blinking away tears at her question. The girl’s mother seems to realize her mistake when she takes in your watery eyes that you try to hide with a fake smile. You let Lilian continue her conversation as you wander away a few steps, pretending to inspect your surroundings as you gather yourself, until a nearby newspaper catches your eye. On the cover are the words “KING’S NEW ORDERS! PROTECT THE QUEEN” and your heart jumps at the suddenness. You bend carefully to turn the page and read the article, a mix of emotions rushing through your body that almost makes you lose grip on the child in your arms when you understand their significance. You quickly return her to her parents, excusing yourself from them on the pretense that you had to be back at the palace for important business, and you instruct Kyungsoo to guide you back to the carriage to head home.

Upon entering your bedroom, Jimin finds a note on the bed in your writing, reading it with curiosity. It leads him to a familiar place and he hurries there with mild concern, mind rushing with thoughts of what your note could have meant.

Curled up in your favorite chair, he finds you reclining with a new book in hand as you look through the window of your Secret Library. Your servants know nothing of this place, you and Jimin have made certain that it’s location remains hidden, so this is the only place you can truly be alone. To his knowledge, you only come here when something is troubling you or when you need to think, and his mind jumps to all of the worst case scenarios of what could have happened.

“My love, you wished to speak with me?” He asks, approaching urgently as according to your urgent letter. But you remain relaxed and unresponsive as you continue to flip through the pages of your novel. He looks down to inspect your choice reading, taking note that it speaks of a woman who, in this current scene, is just learning that she is pregnant. You take your time reading it, only turning to him after the chapter is finished. When you turn to him your eyes are blank and unreadable.

“Why have you placed a censorship on our people, My King?” You ask suddenly, and it takes him aback.

“A c-censorship?” He stutters out.

“Yes, you recently placed a censorship on the people of this kingdom, have you not?” You look him in the eyes and find that he can barely hold eye contact, his entire body tense. It is difficult for him to respond, especially since you were not supposed to know about this, at least not this soon.

“It is not a censorship.” He evades.

“Really? So you have not ordered our people to be silent about anything pertaining to pregnancy and children around me?” He fidgets under your piercing tongue, unsure of how to respond. “That sounds quite close to censorship to me.”

“It is only to protect you, My Queen,” He relents, stepping closer to you as you snap your book closed. “People can be very insensitive and I did not want you to be hurt by their words.”

“Hurt by their words? What words would they have said to me? I am not a child, Jimin, you need not protect me from words!” Your volume rises along with the redness of your face. “Are the people criticizing me in some way? What have they said? What have you heard to make you so wary of words?”

“Their words hurt me, (Y/n).” He says quietly as he lowers himself to his knees and takes hold of your hands when he sees the worry in your eyes. “What I heard hurt me, and I could not bear the thought that you may hear such things too. I did not do this because I think you are not strong enough to endure it, I did it because you do not deserve to hear such negativity.”

“Even so, how dare you make such a rash decision without consulting me.” You remove your hands from his and he does not reach for them again. “You saw me directly after your council meeting last week and mentioned not a word of this to me. If you had asked, I would have told you that none of this is necessary, that I can handle whatever my people have to say about me because I am the Queen!” Your voice cracks annoyingly as you fight back hot tears. “I should be able to answer them when they ask me questions. And maybe I should hear what they say about me. Because they are correct, I am not pregnant and I do not know if I can ever become pregnant and maybe they should be worried. My sensitivity should not warrant their silence.”

“You are not sensitive, my love, you have every right to feel the way that you do.” You ignore him.

“But what troubles me the most is how you so easily excluded me. You acted without my consent and planned to keep this from me indefinitely— you even made sure Lilian was the first to know so that she could keep watch over me today! What happened to our communication, Jimin? We should be able to talk to each other about anything and everything, but instead you felt the need to keep something so important a secret from me. You could have simply talked to me and told me how you feel. It feels as though we have not spoken in days, it is almost like you aren’t trying anymore. It feels like you have given up.”

The fire in your tone dies down until all that is left is pain, and Jimin realizes that it is he who has hurt you the most.

Lilian told him about where you went today and how you acted. She told him of the lost and pained look in your eyes as you watched the children, even though you were smiling. Most importantly, she relayed your exact reaction when that woman asked if you were pregnant. It was just as he had feared. Putting these pieces of information together with the book you had been reading, Jimin knows that this argument is about more than what you’d like him to believe.

“This is no longer about the censorship, is it?” He asks cautiously, guilt leaking onto his features. You appear shocked at first, not having realized your own subliminal shift from the topic, but then your face twists with emotion and you bite your lip and turn your head from him in an effort to hold yourself together. You are tired of crying in front of him.

“You-“ Sniffling, you try to control the shakiness of your voice. “You do not talk to me anymore. I never know how you are feeling these days because you have been avoiding me.”

“I do not try to avoid you, my love.” He frowns, moving his hand to rest on your knee.

“It feels like you are. You do not come to my health examinations anymore, you can never seem to make time for them.” He opens his mouth to speak, but you don’t let him. “I am always forced to go through them alone and I sit there the entire time wishing that you were there to hold me or reassure me, but I’m always alone. And it may be easier for you to hear the bad news from my mouth, but it hurts me more every time I am forced to tell you that I have failed once again. And we haven’t tried in a long while, I am beginning to fear that you no longer want to touch me.” Your eyes convey a deeper pain than your words can communicate, and the earnestness in them when you look at him breaks his heart. He didn’t mean to make you feel this way, it‘s the last thing he would want.

“I still very much want you, My Queen, I always will. I have been hesitant to initiate anything with you as of late because you seemed so disheartened and dejected and I did not want to further upset you with inappropriate timing. I have also been struggling to keep my optimism, forgive me for my misjudgment.”

“That is another problem,” You sigh, knitting your eyebrows. “I have no idea what you are thinking or feeling. You always comfort me and tell me that I can be open with my emotions with you, yet you do not listen to your own advice and tend to lock up around me. It will not lessen my sadness, but to know that you are just as affected by this as I am and that I am not overreacting would give me the tiniest bit of comfort. But when you force yourself to appear unaffected, it feels as though I am the only one who cares.”

“But I am the King,” Jimin starts, conflicted. “I cannot afford to show weakness or lament in our misfortunes. I must be strong for the people.”

“Strength is not the only trait of value!” You hiss, irritated that he has this perception that is so inaccurate. “Emotion does not always entail vulnerability and the people will see that. They adore how much you care about them, how you grieve with them when you learn of their losses, so why would it be inappropriate for you to care about me? Do not forget that you are also my husband. That is what you signed up for on our wedding day; you married me and the kingdom followed. Why is it that I am never your priority?!”

Sadness transforming into boiling rage, you stand and push past him toward the exit. This is your first real argument with him and it seems that everything that has been bothering you for the past few months is now exploding out of your mouth. You did not mean for your words to be so harsh, yet you could not control them and figured that you should let everything out while you had the chance. Much of your frustration is about your own incompetence, but you redirect it toward him because you cannot handle anymore mental self-abuse. A tiny part of you wants him to yell back at you and affirm everything you already thought about the direction of your relationship just so you could be right about something for once. Most of you, however, wants him to run after you, take you into his arms, look you in the eye and dispel all of your worries by pouring out his heart to you.

And that is exactly what he does.

“My love, do not run away.” He says gently, grabbing your hand before you can even make it 3 steps past him. He moves to the front of you, taking your face in his palms so he can stare into your eyes, hoping they can fill in the blanks between his words. “You are always my priority and you always will be. I-“ He sighs, looking away for a second before returning to you. “I do not always make the best choices, and for that I apologize. Being your husband and a King is far different than being a military general, and it is taking longer to adjust than I anticipated. I love you so much, to the point where I am afraid of making mistakes and losing your heart somehow, so I try too hard to be perfect. I take care of your kingdom because it was yours before it was mine and I know how dearly you hold it’s people. I try to be as tough as possible for you because I thought you would expect it of me when you were feeling weak.” His hands fall to your shoulders. “As a General, I learned that the only way to gain respect and love was to work hard and solve all issues, but it appears that I will need a different mindset in this situation. Because it seems I have become too consumed with work and too busy to show my love for you, and I know I will need to change that if I want to be a good father to our children.”

“You do not need to change at all, Jimin. Who you are trying so hard to be is not the same man you were when I met you. Yes, you were strong in front of others, but you never closed yourself to me. I do not want you to change or pretend to be tough, I want you to be you, because that is who I married.” This causes him to think back to how he has behaved in recent months. Maybe he was avoiding your appointments purposely so he wouldn’t have the chance to break down in front of the doctor or Lilian. And maybe he had been ignoring you so he wouldn’t have to face his own pain that you reflected. He’s been treating you unfairly in an effort to play a role that doesn’t exist, and he welcomes the guilt that slaps him in the face at the realization. He hates that he ended up like this even after all that you went through in the aftermath of your wedding. It is like he had forgotten all that he promised you.

“I apologize for everything, My Queen. I will remove the censorship immediately.” His head bows with heaviness. “I do still want a family with you, but maybe we should take a break from trying, just for a little while. Maybe this building friction between us and the stress it caused has been affecting our fertility. Maybe we are trying too hard and should take your advice to just be ourselves. A baby should be made from love, not by expectation. I do not want-“ He thinks about his next sentence carefully. “I want to improve our relationship first, before our attention is shifted to other matters. We are young and have not yet been married a year, my love, we will have plenty of time to conceive. Let me make up for the neglect you have suffered these past months. Let us take it one day at a time.”

He’s right, your relationship has been strained, and it is not only from the fact that you are not pregnant. The discord between you two has taken a toll on your body: you are constantly exhausted, your head pounds with headaches most days, and the loneliness has changed your positive attitude into one of sulking and disdain. It has changed you. So how could you think of bringing a child into this world when you are at this level of dysfunction? Things needed to be resolved first, and here he is, willing to work everything out with you after accepting his faults. You couldn’t possibly reject him.

It’s been nearly a month since your argument, and things have taken a turn for the better. You helped Jimin realize something he didn’t quite understand before: that as King, anything he says goes, so he has been taking frequent days off to spend time with you. He’s taken you on many dates around the kingdom, showing you his favorite places to go when he was a child, exploring different towns you hadn’t gotten a chance to see yet, he even accompanied you on your shopping day to meet some of the friends you’d made. Being able to spend time with him like this reminds you of what it felt like in the beginning of your relationship. The novelty of seeing him and the excitement you’d feel in the pit of your stomach. Except this excitement is now from your curiosity of what activities you’ll do with him that day and not from the thrill of possibly being caught together by servants.

You’ve kept things fairly innocent these past few weeks, focusing on rebuilding your emotional connection instead of being physical. You’d lost a lot of weight during the months you were at odds with Jimin, but you’re happy to say that you’re gaining it back now that you’re paying more attention to your health and happiness and not the crazy diets and detoxes that people recommended to you to help with conception. What’s more, you’ve been keeping busy by accompanying Jimin on his political duties instead of remaining put away in the palace. He didn’t want to involve you in political affairs to keep your stress levels low, but you remind him that you’ve been involved in things like that since you where a young princess, so this is the norm. So now you happily travel with him out of the kingdom to attend meetings with neighboring rulers and assure them of your health.

This is the first trip you’ve taken, and it feels absolutely liberating. Seokjin insisted that you and your husband stay in his family’s vacation home located in the area— one of many acquired throughout his travels as a collector and salesman— and it is arguably nicer than the one offered by the royals of this kingdom. Perhaps not as luxurious (though very close to it) but certainly more private. You’d take any opportunity to escape any hovering servants. Your eyes sparkle as you walk through the doors, taking in the modern furniture, high ceilings, and breathtaking view of the green valley and hills surrounding you. The altitude is quite a bit higher than you’re used to, the kingdom poised along a mountainside and sourcing its water from the river that flows through the valley below.

You blame this altitude for the sick feeling in your stomach and the lightness of your head, trying your hardest to keep your etiquette and not plop face first onto the huge mattress. You sit gingerly on the edge, aided by Jimin, who kept hold of your arm ever since he saw you swaying when you stepped out of the carriage. He fusses over you, letting out a disgruntled grumble when you remind him that you saw the doctor before your departure and she found no troubling conditions within you— not even pregnancy, which you were disappointed to hear, but not surprised. The symptoms come and go and you assure him that all you need is some rest and you’ll be back on your feet, and he leaves you under the watch of Lilian and Kyungsoo (who accompany you everywhere) while he travels to the castle to greet the King and assure him of your safe arrival. You nap while he’s away and awake just in time for dinner, feeling refreshed and symptom free, much to his relief.

Being away from the palace and kingdom is sure to do wonders for your physical and mental health. Just being here with the people you love is a breath of fresh air, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face. Seated at the table accompanied by Jimin, Lilian, and Kyungsoo, you feel this is the closest thing you’ll have to a family dinner for a long while. As your servant, Lilian never eats with you at the same time, let alone at the same table, but you begged her to join you and fill the evening air with casual chatter. Kyungsoo is your favorite guard and you’ve always wanted to get to know him, but he remains relatively quiet throughout the meal and never lets his guard down, taking the farthest seat from his monarchs to silently observe. Typical. With your energy levels still quite low, Jimin and Lilian do their best to raise your spirits by showing off their goofy sides, telling stories and making you laugh almost nonstop. But just seeing them bond so well is enough to make your heart swell. You wonder if Jimin will have this type of relationship with your children, one where they can joke freely and build trust with each other without being hindered by the forced power dynamic. You hope their relationship will be better than the somewhat estranged one you have with your father.

“Are you comfortable, my love?” Jimin asks as you settle in for bed. This mattress seems to be made from the clouds of the heavens, you’ve never felt relaxation like this. You’ll have to purchase one for your own bedroom.

“Yes, My King.” You return, grinning at the way his cheeks lift. He climbs in behind you after blowing out the lanterns, the scent of smoke wafting gently through the room.

“How are you feeling? Better?” He sounds tired and you have no desire to keep him awake with your troubles, so you nod.

“Yes, after my nap and dinner, I feel just fine.” You don’t mention your growing headache because you’re certain a good night’s sleep will resolve it. You’re feeling uncharacteristically tired, exhausted even, and it’s most likely from the long journey here. Hopefully, you’ll wake up refreshed and energized in the morning.

“Alright. Let me know if you need anything tonight.” He whispers, already starting to drift off.

“I won’t trouble you.” You assure him, sinking into slumber.

“Are you sure you are well enough to go out today?” Lilian sifts through your clothing, trying to decide what to dress you in for today’s events, accounting for the warm mid-spring weather. She is alone in the bedroom with you, Jimin having stepped out to give you privacy while getting ready.

“Yes, I am feeling much better.” This isn’t a lie. Although you felt extremely sluggish upon first waking up, you now feel great. Jimin had asked you about a thousand questions before leaving bed this morning and at breakfast, and you dispelled each one of his worries with confidence.

“I am glad to hear that, but please do pay attention to your condition, Your Highness.” She says this as she holds up a pristine gown for your approval, handing it to you when you nod both at her words and fashion choice.

She doesn’t need to vocalize what’s on her mind, you know what she’s thinking, and frankly, you’ve been having the same thoughts. But your doctor was very clear that you are not pregnant when you saw her before the trip. Also, you bleed 2 weeks ago, and though it was short-lived, it was accompanied by cramps and headaches, dutifully reminding you of your empty womb. So you ignore Lilian’s concerns and move about your day like normal, smothering the tiny bud of hope that tries to bloom in your chest.

“Are you excited for today’s meeting?” Moving away from the topic, she smiles at you through the mirror at the way your face lights up, beginning her work on your hair.

“This is the most excited I have felt in a long while! It will be my first diplomatic duty as Queen.” Finally, you feel useful.

“Would you like me to accompany you?” What she means is ‘would you like me to keep an eye on you to make sure you are feeling okay/ nothing bad happens’ but you pretend not to notice.

“No, Lilian, I want you to treat this as a vacation of sorts. You work so hard my humble, loyal friend. Go and explore the towns, have fun while we’re away from the kingdom.”

“I do not want a vacation, I want to make sure you are alright.” She responds quietly, blushing. You hum.

“Respectfully, I do not need to be looked after like a child.” You chuckle. “I can do well on my own. Besides, Jimin and Kyungsoo will be there if anything happens.”

“Then I will take my leave tomorrow after I make sure you are alright today.” She says stubbornly, not meeting your eyes in the mirror. “I cannot relax in good conscience without being assured of your safety.” Nodding, you accept her terms with a smirk.

“Always a pleasure to see you, Queen (Y/n).” King Jackson smiles at you, bowing his head in greeting. You grin widely as you sit across from him and his wife at the large conference table, Jimin placed closely at your side.

“You as well, Jackson.” Last you saw him, he was a prince. In fact, he submitted the first marriage proposal you’d ever received, asking your father for your hand in marriage as soon as he heard you were of age. He is a little less than 4 years older than you, handsome, bubbly personality, likable and charming on all fronts, and you had no qualms with marrying him, but you also had no desire to leave your kingdom to rule another. As King, he would have you move into his castle and be at his service where you would likely not hold any power or say in most matters involving the people, something that deeply displeased you, so you turned him down. Now he has a wife and several small children, as well as the throne and an entire kingdom to lead. And as of your coronation, he is your kingdom’s closest ally.

“No need to be so formal, Queen.” He jokes, immediately setting a relaxed atmosphere. You are meeting to discuss and update the terms of a treaty between your allied nations, one that your fathers had written and agreed upon many years ago, but legally needs to be reviewed thanks to the recent shift in power. Your father is quite close with Jackson’s own, therefore you have a good relationship with the young King from years of getting acquainted during your childhood. Jimin, however, has no such history with the man and seems rather tense around the lighthearted playful. “I was disappointed when you refused by marriage proposal, but it seems that you have chosen a handsome and competent spouse in my place, just as I have.” He grins, winking at his wife, Lena.

“It was never ‘your place’, do not be so big headed,” You roll your eyes but he ignores your quip, eyes trained on Jimin.

“We spoke yesterday evening, but I am intrigued to get to know more of you, King Park. May I call you Jimin?” Jackson barely waits for a reply before continuing. “I must know more of the man whom I am to be allied with, and the man who married the ever-so-independent princess.”

“I must admit, I am curious about you, too. But if my beloved trusts and acknowledges you, then I will do the same.” Reaching under the table, Jimin’s hand finds yours and you smirk, pleased that he won’t let the other King intimidate him.

“Regarding the treaty;” Jackson pulls out a long document, skimming over the lengthy script that you are both irritatingly familiar with. “Will our kingdom’s continue to remain allied during times of war, help financially and provide resources in times of natural disaster, respect the borders set by each nation without the intention of gaining territory, and continue to keep trade borders open?” He reads off the major points of the list, you and Jimin answering with a ‘yes’ to each. “Is there anything else you would like to add?”

“Not that I can think of.” You respond, Jimin saying the same. Feeling satisfied by your responses, Jackson signs his name under the print of your fathers, passing the document to you for your signature. But you slide the paper to your husband, whose name appears in ink now instead of yours. Surprised by this, you can see the unfiltered comment bubbling out from the brazen King’s dome.

“I would not have expected, (Y/n), that you would submit the powers of your status to a man.” It is obvious that he has already assumed that your action means that you no longer hold the highest authority in your own land, but you are both quick to correct him.

“You are mistaken.” Your voices harmonize into one as you say this, Jimin continuing on to explain. “My Queen has not yielded even an inch of power to me. As I am sure you know, she is fully capable of handling affairs such as these, any responsibility she has shifted to me has been due to her own discretion.” Though his tongue is quick, Jimin is sure to keep a light, non-malicious tone so as not to offend your friend. You’d much rather focus on internal public affairs, leaving international and business related issues to your husband. But it seems others have the wrong idea about you.

The man across from you blinks at this, raising his eyebrows, and you know Jimin has just gained a large amount of respect in his eyes. You find it quite flattering to see him so defensive of you and you give an approving squeeze of his hand.

“As expected,” Jackson hums with a grin, receiving the document as Jimin passes it back to him. “Well, it seems that our business here is complete! Shall we have champagne to celebrate this swift agreement?” He doesn’t realize his error until his wife nudges him in the ribs and he looks up to see your faces pulled into wide-eyed frowns. “Ah, yes— my apologies,” He scratches his neck bashfully. “Then, may I interest you in some exercise?” Eyes boring straight into Jimin’s, he asks this as the men share a look.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Lena beams, nearly bouncing in her seat as you both observe from a bench on the side of the field. Somehow you hadn’t expected this when Jackson offered his proposal. Your husbands are standing in a marked area with protective gear covering their bodies and gleaming swords, preparing for a sparring match in the warm weather. The sun beats down on you as you squint at them, using your hand to shade your eyes before Lilian appears with a parasol to place over your head. “Have you ever seen your husband fight before?” She asks, staring at your side profile.

“Never.” You respond. “This should be interesting.” Admittedly, you tend to shy away from violence, resenting the thought of people battling each other for bloody glory. Though you are in charge of the military, you never ask for too many details, and skillfully avoid any training grounds near the castle. It may be ironic, then, that you married a General who has seen more battles than he’s cared to mention and carries more scars than he’d care to explain. But you must admit that you’re intrigued by the spectacle he’s sure to put on for you, comforted by the fact that this is completely safe.

“Jackson has been training sword for most of his life, but has never seen an actual battle. I wonder how their skills will compare.” Lena states proudly, sipping from the drink one of her servants comes to offer, dismissed when you decline.

“I hear that you were a General, King Park.” Jackson checks the cap at the tip of his sword, nodding to the instructor that stands at his side.

“I’d like to think that I still am one.” Jimin responds as he stretches out his stiff muscles.

“Even after being promoted to Commander in Chief?”

“I’ve done nothing to earn that title but get married.” The man before him hums.

“I assume you are quite skilled with a sword then, have you practiced fencing before?”

“Of course, it is taught as the basics of sword fighting. Though, I would not say I am a master.” Humbly, your husband lowers his head to inspect his blade, shaking his head at Jackson’s outcry.

“Nonsense! Any man who has done battle for his life is surely a master. Though, I do ask that you do not hold back on me here; I certainly will not do the same for you.” A wolfish grin creeps up onto both Kings faces, mirroring each other as they pull down the hoods of their face guards.

“You’ve said nothing of your own skill thus far, I will not make the mistake of underestimating you.” The match starts swiftly after they take position, Jackson lunging forward and barely missing Jimin’s side as he dodges out of the way.

Your mouth falls open as they move, each motion calculated and precise. You know nothing about fencing, but it is clear that they are both highly skilled. You’ve never seen your lover move this way before, so dynamic and captivating as though he were performing a dance. Powerful and graceful in every step taken toward his opponent, wielding his blade as though it were an extension of himself. He is beautiful to watch, your heartbeat speeding up in your chest as you are enraptured by the display. Both King’s are even in size and capability, but you can see the ease of movement Jimin possesses compared to Jackson’s deliberate strokes, almost as if he were teasing him. Lena cheers from beside you, but you can’t make a sound. Seeing him like this— completely in his element and moving so gracefully— has your body heating for another reason unrelated to the unrelenting sun. You’ve married an amazing man.

“You’re quick.”

“That is a great compliment, coming from you,” Jackson grunts, keeping Jimin on the defensive with his bold attacks. “But I can tell you are merely playing with me.”

“Not playing.” Waiting. One thing Jimin is an expert at is waiting. Patience is his strength, in fighting and in his daily life. He was patient when it came to you, taking his time with each step of your relationship until he was entirely sure that you were ready, that you wanted him. He was patient with each of his military promotions, climbing up the ranks with hard work and diligence until he was recognized. And he will continue to be patient with the next stage of his life, trying his best not to lose hope that you will become pregnant one day, so he will deal with the disappointment and trials with you for as long as it takes.

As soon as Jackson falters he takes his shot, attacking with swift consecutive swings until his opponent is pushed far back on his side of the space and leaves an opening, one decisive lunge ending the match. They both pant as Jimin’s sword makes contact with the center of the other King’s chest, the cap pressed into the padding protecting his flesh. There’s silence for a beat before they both drop their guard, retuning to the start position. Jimin turns his head to make sure you were watching, lifting his mask to wink at you and smirking salaciously when you blush.  

“Well done.” Jackson nods. “But I won’t let you get the better of me next time!”

“Your husband is a bit intense, no?” You ask Lena as she giggles, humming in agreement.

“And it seems your husband is a bit competitive.” You also nod, the heat drying your mouth as you watch her sip her drink again. She calls over her servant when she catches your stare and they hand you a glass— Kyungsoo swooping in annoyingly to try it first before you can taste the sweet liquid. “He seems very fit and possesses a beautiful physique, I’m astounded that you have the willpower to leave bed with a man like that, especially as newlyweds.”

You choke on your drink mid-swallow, nearly spitting it out because of her words. Jackson has a notoriously dirty mind, it is no surprise to you that his wife shares that quality— she’d have to, in order to tolerate him. She laughs as Lilian takes the drink from you as you wipe your mouth, turning the comment back on her.

“I could say the same to you, Jackson is just as built.”

“Oh, trust that he kept me in bed for months after our wedding date. It is no coincidence that I have this many children now.” Her eyes shift back to the men on the field, seemingly satisfied with the rosiness of your cheeks. Recovering, you address her once more.

“Speaking of, may I meet them?”

“I’ve known (Y/n) for most of my life,” Jackson speaks up during their final round. “Though I submitted a proposal, she’s grown to be like a sister to me over the years.”

“Is that so?” Jimin grunts, their swords clashing loudly.

“I was skeptical of what kind of man she had chosen when word spread of your betrothal. Wondered if you would be able to protect her as she tends to venture out and do things on her own; sometimes-” He jumps back as Jimin closes in. “-befriending the wrong people. I worried when I heard of the catastrophe at your wedding ceremony.” The cap of Jimin’s sword touches to his opponent’s chest once again, ending the sparring match. They both remove their helmets and masks, breathing heavily as they look at each other. “I truly empathize with what you were forced to experience. I could not imagine being in that situation with my wife.” Both men turn to look at you and Lena, their 4 children surrounding you as you hold the youngest in your lap. It is a sight that simultaneously melts and breaks your husband’s heart. “Nonetheless, after meeting you, I am confident that she is in good hands. I like you a lot, Jimin, and though my approval may mean nothing, I think you are an excellent match for her.”

You look up to see them shaking hands, both of them walking over to you with content looks on their faces. The child in your lap looks up as his father approaches, making grabby hands at your friend until he reaches down and lifts him from you. You watch with starry eyes as Jackson props the child up on his hip, kissing over his chubby cheeks and forehead, but then your attention is pulled away when Jimin stops to stand in front of you.

“Did you win?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, My Queen,” He bows dutifully, running a hand through his sweaty hair. It should be offensive how sexy he looks right now, standing in the sun with his wet hair, skin shining with hard work and eyes landing lazily on your figure with a lazy smirk. Your heart jumps and you have to look away before your mind slips even further away. “Do I get a victory kiss?” He bends down toward you, puckering his lips, and you push lightly at his chest with a laugh.

“But you’re all sweaty!” Your nose wrinkles at him but your eyes still lock onto his lips, even as you continue to swat at him.

“No kiss for your King?” Jackson quips, turning to his own wife who is already shaking her head in disgust. “Lena~ Don’t I get a reassurance kiss after my defeat?” The same look Jimin has on his face is contagious to the other King, who grins at Lena as she shields her face with another one of their giggling children, peeking out from over her shoulder. Both men approach with puckered lips, causing their Queens to squeal at their playfulness— you even hop up from the bench to avoid him, taunting him as Jimin chases you around the field. It’s rather immature, but you feel no need to pretend here or uphold appearances in front of your hosts. Lilian and Kyungsoo look on fondly, never having seen you so carefree.

“You never minded my sweat before, my love.” Jimin whispers to you when you finally allow him to give you a peck on the lips, his arms wrapped loosely around your waist. You don’t respond, rolling your eyes at him with a barely hidden smile.

“You seem to be getting along nicely with Jackson.” You comment as you rummage through your luggage, searching for one specific item. Jimin replies from behind the partition of the bathroom, bathing away the grime of the day in preparation for the night. You had both sent Lilian away when she offered to help and she took off to explore the nighttime activities of the kingdom, one of Jackson’s male servants offering to be her guide. You’ll be sure to ask her for details in the morning.

“Yes, he is quite an interesting character. He gave me his official approval to marry you, which I suppose I am grateful for.” Hearing the smile in his voice, you giggle, silencing the gasp that leaves your chest when you pull out the delicate lace garments, your heart rate speeding up. You aren’t sure why you feel so anxious about this. It’s not like you to get nervous about being intimate with Jimin, but you’ve never done anything like this before. Maybe it’s because it’s been a while since you last had him, the recent abstinence keeping your body on edge. Or maybe you are worried about what he will say when he sees you. Embarrassment colors your face as you quickly slip on the set, covering yourself with a robe when you are finished.

“He gave you his blessing to marry me?” You chuckle.

Stepping onto the tile of the partitioned washroom, you stand before the full length mirror to inspect yourself before tying it closed. The robe covers you from Jimin’s viewpoint behind you as he finishes washing up, and you try to appear productive as you move to moisturize yourself. When he is finished, your husband approaches from behind, a towel hung low on his waist as he comes to wrap his arms around your midsection. You can feel his sturdy body pressing into you as he pulls you closer, his eyes staring into yours through the glass when he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“His ego hasn’t shrunk an inch since I last saw him.” You sigh, letting your eyes flutter shut as the two of you sway gently together.

“Well, he is a King.” Jimin reasons in a whisper.

“But so are you.” His arms loosen around you when he feels you start to turn, both of your eyes open now as you peer up at him with glittering eyes, gingerly locking your fingers behind his neck. Your heart kicks up as you watch the easy grin on his lips, the absolute and unwavering adoration he holds for you so evident in his gaze. It reminds you of earlier times, his expression the exact same as when he first confessed that he was in love with you and you reciprocated, kissing him so certainly. Now, you kiss him with practiced ease and press ever closer into his warm body. Jimin’s tongue dances with yours, both of you getting lost in the moment until you are forced to pull away for air. “You were amazing today, General Park.”

The use of his former title makes his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. It isn’t like he doesn’t like the name, it is simply that he never expected to hear it come from you again.

“I did not realize that you were so agile and powerful, I was very impressed with what I saw.” One of your fingers trails down his chest, playing in the dip of his v-line before coyly tracing back upwards with each slow word you speak. “That is not to say that I was unaware of your capabilities, you have found great success in protecting me and my kingdom, but watching you was eye opening... and quite arousing.” His breath hitches in a way that gives you more confidence, courage swelling in your chest that helps you ignore the redness of your cheeks.

“Is that so?” Jimin swallows, curiosity lighting his gaze.

You hum in affirmation. “You must work extremely hard to become that skilled, so I thought it appropriate to give you a gift to show my appreciation for all that you do.” Taking a step back, you play with the ribbon of your robe, amused by the sudden change in Jimin’s expression. He watches you like a predator stalking it’s pray, detailing every movement of your nimble fingers with a heaving chest as you move at a snail’s pace to untie your robe. You decide to tease further once the ribbon is finally untied, only revealing the tops of your shoulders from the silk, holding yourself in modesty until it looks like he’s going to go insane before you open the from to reveal yourself.

Jimin feels like he could faint from what he sees when the robe drops. You are decorated in a lacy white lingerie set that is quite transparent, your nipples visible through the designs of the fabric. The bra of the set extends downwards under your cleavage and he feels his hands lifting to rest on your ribs to touch the material, following it delicately until he cups your breasts with his palms. Maybe it is due to the design of this expensive undergarment, but you fill out the bra much more than either of you would have expected, your breasts round and pushing at it in all the right spots. This is the lingerie set that Jin had hidden behind your commissioned painting as part of your wedding gift, and Jimin had completely forgotten that it was in your possession. He chooses not to question how Seokjin knows your body measurements in order to purchase the present. Eyes trailing down, Jimin takes in the equally scandalous panties that adorn your hips, all parts solid white except for the crotch that remains lacy and see-through giving him a view that makes his mouth water.

You look absolutely stunning, and he tells you in as many words as possible.

“Your gift is not yet complete, General.” The look on his face is everything that you had hoped for, and you wish to shock him even further with your next move. Hooking your fingers into the towel at his waist, you unravel it and expose his growing length, sinking down in front of him.

Quickly, he grabs your arm once he realizes what you are doing, preventing you from going lower. You pout up at him. “My Queen, a woman of your status should never kneel on the ground for any man. You must remain dignified.”

“My dignity,” You half scoff at the notion, rising to look him in his beautiful brown eyes. “I have neither dignity nor pride. You have it all, my love; I have given myself to you completely.” You allow yourself to break from your role play just this once, he needs to know that your words are true. If there is anything he should know by now, it is that you hold no reservations toward him. With him, you are equal and you trust him completely. It is not like you have never serviced him before, but he has never seen you on your knees below him due to his own beliefs and you would like to change that tonight. “I want to do this for you.”

This time when you lower yourself, he allows you to drop until your knees rest on the ground. The view he has is undeniably sinful. You can tell how much he enjoys it by how rapidly he hardens in front of your face. But when you look up from your own spot on the floor, you find that your view is equally as jaw dropping. Jimin looks down at you from over his nose, the damp hair on his head sticking to his forehead and dangling over his eyes, shadowing his features into sharp lines. Every inch of his body is chiseled to perfection, displaying the hours of training he has undergone over the years to get to the level of skill you witnessed today, and if it were not for you already kneeling on the marble, your knees would have buckled right from under you. He is like a statue carved by the gods. And he is all yours.

“If a Queen wants her soldiers to keep performing for her she must reward them, and you are the very best, so I will be sure to give you special treatment.” Lightly grasping his member, you take the time to feel how he grows in your grip. Just the feeling of you running your fingers over his plush balls has him almost fully erect, the muscles of his abdominals tensing as you lean forward to slide him into your mouth, caressing the underside of his cock with your tongue without closing your lips just yet. You’ll work him up slowly, you decide, wanting him to savor this rare occasion in hopes that he will allow you to do it again sometime. Your palm smears your saliva around his shaft and starts to steadily pump him up and down, the simple action causing a groan to tear from your lover’s throat.

Jimin does not know where to look in this moment. Should he focus on your hands as the diligently work to pleasure him? Your tongue when it peeks out from your lips to tease at his slit? The dip of your cleavage that lie in his direct line of sight, framed so perfectly by the underwear you don? Or perhaps those smoldering eyes you stare up at him with, those plotting, gorgeous eyes that call to his deepest desires? You look as if you would do anything for him at this moment— you have intentionally put yourself at his feet to show how vulnerable you are willing to be with him, that you trust him to the utmost degree and you would sink this low, literally, to demonstrate that.

“Shit,” Jimin curses, eyes trained on the way your lips wrap around his reddening tip. You sense his hands fidgeting at his sides, so you take them to place on top of your head, nodding encouragingly until he weaves his fingers into your hair. He throbs in your mouth and you fight back a smirk.

Working meticulously, you take the time to circle your tongue around every sensitive place at his cockhead, licking slowly over his frenulum and flicking over his slit as it starts to leak. The flavor is slightly salty and entirely him, and it makes your legs press together from where your knees dig into the polished marble. Your lips and tongue play at his upper half for a while, one of your hands rubbing whimsical patterns along his tensing thigh while the other tends to his aching base, pumping in time with your mouth with a slight twist to your wrist that has his fingers tightening against your scalp.

“Are you enjoying your gift?” You break away to speak, twirling your tongue around the line of saliva that connects you to his tip in the most lewd way possible.

“Yes,” Jimin pants, clearing his throat when his voice comes out raspy. But the sound makes you drip into your designer panties, the flimsy material doing little against your increasing wetness. “How did you become so skilled at this, My Queen? You are such an angel but possess devilish talent with that pretty mouth of yours.”

“I had an excellent teacher.” You wink up at him, hoping he was imaging all the times he guided you when you wished to taste him, becoming more confident as time passed and you no longer feared your gag reflex. You figure now is a good time to demonstrate just how well you absorbed those lessons, you finally sink further down on him until he touches the back of your mouth, collecting your spit to slick him before pushing him deeper and into your throat. Your stomach quivers as you hold back the urge to gag, but he sees none of that because when you look up his head is tossed back in ecstasy and concentration. He must focus so he doesn’t cum so soon.

“Just like that.” Biting into the plush of his bottom lip, Jimin falls into the trance of your movements, bobbing up and down on him with his tip lodged in your throat. The first moan he lets out has a shiver crawling up your spine, deep and loud so it echoes against every surface of the room. Drool slides out of your mouth as you continue to suck him but you pay no mind to it, only focused on the way your lover’s body reacts to you. His chest heaves for breath and you can see perspiration beginning to coat his chest and neck, Adam’s apple bobbing every time he swallows. The hand that was previously occupied with the rest of his length moves to his balls, kneading and massaging the sack gently as more moans pour from his mouth. Your clit throbs the longer you suck on him, his cock now at full length and hardness and feeling so thick and heavy on your jaw that you can’t help but fantasize about feeling it inside you again.

His hips eventually begin to twitch and rock into each of your movements, but you can tell he is restraining himself from bucking into you fully. When his eyes connect with yours again, you nod as best you can, pulling off slightly to take a few deep breaths and kiss along his silky skin. Once you have your breathing back to normal, you poise yourself with your mouth open wide and tongue poking out, the sight of you inviting him into your warmth while dressed so scantly and looking up at him with such confidence making it incredibly difficult for him to keep his composure. Here you are, his Queen, the ruler of an entire kingdom by birth right who possesses such elegance and high esteem, sitting below him and offering your throat for his pleasure. This is something that no one else in the entire world will ever see and he feels something similar to pride swelling in his chest at that fact. He knows what you are silently asking him to do, so he does not keep you waiting a second longer before inserting himself back into your mouth and easing his way in until your nose is nestled in the trimmed hair above his pubic bone.

Curses leave him in a continuous string as he takes time to adjust to the sensation, a lightness filling your head that makes you feel like you are floating through the clouds. And that feeling only increases when he starts to move, pulling his hips back for you to take in air through your nose before thrusting in again. Jimin fucks your mouth slowly at first, warming you up to it before he starts to get a bit rougher and visibly more eager, his lips sucked into his mouth as he glares down at you. In any other context, you would think him angry if he ever peered at anyone this intensely, but now you only feel the pool of arousal that builds in your core and gushes out of you at the intimidating glower. Still, his muscles are rigid with hesitance.

“May I go faster?” He breathes, never pulling out to free your mouth to respond. You moan out an answer as best you can, running your tongue against him in approval until he finally releases his tension and follows the urges of his body. He doesn’t aim deep into you, but his pace is quick, surely bruising your esophagus, yet you cannot bring yourself to be bothered. The sensation is indescribable, his hands cupping the back of your head and the sheer heat of his body almost overrides the lack of oxygen in your lungs— and simply imagining the pleasure he is feeling because of you has electricity shooting down to your core. Jimin has his eyes glued to the sight of his cock disappearing into your mouth, but they quickly shift when your hands find their way to your chest to pull down the bra just enough so your nipples poke out, both hands pushing your breasts together to give him a sight that almost causes him to lose his load right then and there. His hips lose control, stuttering and twitching as his eyes widen comically at the dream-like image of you, and he is forced to pull away after little over a minute of fucking your face. “Fuck-!”

“Is something the matter?” You ask innocently, knees screaming out from your sustained position. The veins in your husband’s hand bulge as he grips himself so tightly his knuckles turn white, his length jumping every time he opens his eyes to look at you. His use of hard profanity is enough to tell you how much you have unraveled him and you revel in the accomplishment.

“Get up here.” He pants, taking your arm in his free hand and helping you to your feet. You hear him click his tongue at the redness of your knees, but don’t have much time to dismiss it before his lips are on yours. Jimin kisses you deeply as if your face is not sloppy with saliva and his precum. He kisses you like it could save lives. And above every filthy thing you have done with him, this kiss is what makes you feel a bashful heat color your cheeks when he pulls you closer.

“Am I to assume I performed well?” You mumble against his lips, eyes crossing slightly to see his smile.

“You were outstanding. So much so that I nearly came down your pretty throat.” Smugly, Jimin unclips your bra, parting from your lips after several minutes of kissing to trace his tongue down your neck until he reaches your chest, forgoing all teasing to wrap his lips around a pert nipple.

“Oh-“ A surprised yelp leaves you and he has to use his strength to keep you from falling over, your legs suddenly feeling like jelly. Your fingers card through his drying hair, tugging at the unbothered man as he has his fun marking and sucking at you. As always, his mouth works miracles, but you have never felt anything like this before. Each swipe of his tongue around your nub has you moaning out his name, when he twists at the other nipple your head falls back in absolute bliss. He’s not doing anything extraordinarily notable, but it is like your body has reached a sensitivity that is completely new to you both. Jimin certainly is enjoying it immensely. His eyes are closed but you can see how they crinkle gleefully at the sides, his cheekbones high almost as if trying to conceal his amusement at your reactions. With puckered lips, he suctions one of your nipples before pulling back to speak.

“I can’t wait,” He grazes his teeth over your other tit before continuing. “-until these fill up with milk for our baby. I’m sure you will look incredible carrying our child inside you— even more amazing than you already look, my love. So round and plump... your cute little womb filled to the brim with my cum and baby.” Your eyes roll when one of his hands slips down your panties to tease at your lips. A growl resonates in his chest at the feel of your wetness. “You like the sound of that, don’t you? What would the people say if they found out that their elegant Queen got soaking wet just from sucking cock and thinking of getting her pussy stuffed full of cum? Hmm? Surely they will know how filthy you are once they see you swollen with my child, walking around the kingdom so shamelessly after getting marked by my seed. They’ll know just how good you’ve been for me, darling.”

“I want them to know I’m yours; I want to be pregnant with your baby so badly!” You sob, hips bucking into his hand as soon as he makes contact with your clit.

He soothes you with soft kisses along your face, ending with a lick to the corner of your mouth as you pant out loud moans for him. “I know, love. The time will come soon enough.”

Once again his lips return to your chest, and the combination of his mouth and fingers has your walls fluttering and clenching around nothing. Even after he removes his hand from your panties to hold you closer to him, you feel the building of an orgasm. Your body is completely taken by his tongue and teeth as they suckle cherry blossoms into your skin. And when his wet fingers travel up to twist at your unattended nipple, you feel your body careening off the edge unexpectedly.

“J-Jimin, I-“ Your sentence is cut short by a long whimper, mind going blank at the pleasure. You are able to feel how your walls snap open and closed, each pulse growing more intense as the high drags on for what seems like an eternity to you. Jimin groans at the sounds you make and he looks on in awe from where he still laves at your breast as you bite down on your lower lip to ground yourself. He doesn’t mind the way you tug at his roots in your bliss. The pain only adds to the throbbing of his cock.

“So sexy,” He murmurs as you regain your senses. You seem embarrassed, unable to meet his eyes, and he questions it.

“I have never-“ Averting your eyes to the ground, you look for words in your scrambled mind.

“You’ve never cum like that before?” For some reason you find it slightly humiliating and you have no idea why. Were you really that sensitive from not having sex with him for a few weeks? Your nipples were never that receptive before. Nodding in agreement, you hide your face until Jimin lifts your chin with his finger. “Do not shy away from me, My Queen. You look gorgeous when you cum.” Before you can process it, his hands are yanking down your ruined panties, drenched all the way through and dripping. Your back connects with the wall next to the mirror as you are pinned against the surface with his weight. His fingers slide over your clit and you jolt, attempting to close your legs, but he is faster and jams his thigh between yours to hold you open. “In fact, you look so good that I want to see you do it again.”

Without warning, he plunges 2 fingers knuckle deep into you, searching with little trouble for that spongey area inside you. You are wet enough to lubricate his fingers until he drips down his hand, the slick part of his palm beginning to rub harshly against your clit when his fingers curl upwards.

“Oh fuck,” You gasp brokenly when he reaches your spot. Feeling you clench, Jimin hums and goes to work massaging the area with the pads of his fingers, pressing his other hand to your lower stomach to increase the pressure. Since the first time you squirted he has been almost obsessed with the sight, working diligently to figure out how to make you do it again. There have been many nights dedicated solely to that cause— nights that you endured with bright red cheeks each time he made fun of your fucked out expression and hoarse voice— it is to the point where he now knows your every weakness and can manipulate your body with mastery. He knows exactly how much pressure you like when his fingers are deep inside you. He knows just the right way to massage that sensitive area to get you to fall apart again even if you feel overstimulated. He knows how to move his entire arm to hit that spot each time without fail, his technique flawless as he moves rapidly inside your clenching heat. Almost like a balloon filling with water, you feel another high building up in your core frighteningly fast and the lewd squelch coming from between your legs soon becomes the loudest noise in the room.

“Let go for me,” Jimin encourages into your skin, burying his face in the crook of your neck and panting hot breaths. It is easy to tell how easily he gets himself worked up when pleasuring you. His hard, wet cock twitches incessantly against your thigh, teasingly close to where you want him, and the feeling alone has you galloping closer to your second release. “You look so beautiful like this, pushed against a wall and taking my fingers. I bet you are just starving for my cock, aren’t you, My Queen? I’ll give it to you right after you cum for me. I want you to show me how badly you want it by soaking my arm with your sweet juices.”

The filthy words he feeds you only add to the hunger you feel for him. One of your legs lifts to wrap around his waist, pulling him closer as the balloon in your core continues to grow. Your heart is in your ears, beating rapidly, and you have no other choice but to listen to him and release your pleasure. With one synchronized prod of his fingers and circle around your clit, you descend into depraved ecstasy and let the balloon pop. You black out slightly, ears ringing and body numb to the world except for everywhere that your husband touches you, but you are aware of the satisfied moan he gives at your obedience. Whispers of delicate praises tickle your chest as he rests his forehead on your collarbone to watch you soil the floors and his lower half with your clear cum. The sound of it splashing and splattering against each nearby surface is quite embarrassing but you can’t bring yourself to think of it when your legs are shaking this hard and your body is tingling with joy.

“Good girl,” You hear Jimin groan, pulling his fingers from you to wrap his arms around your waist so you don’t topple over on your wobbly leg. He figures it may just be easier to keep you up if both of your legs are off the wet floor, so he moves your other leg to wind around his waist before carrying you out of the room and away from the mess to the bed.

Your glazed eyes take him in as he stands above you, a hand running through his disheveled hair as he studies you as well. His face is flushed and sweaty and his chest rises and falls quickly, but you’re sure that is only partly due to the effort he has just put in. There are claw marks on his shoulders and you gasp. You hadn’t realized you were gripping him so tightly, but he doesn’t seem to mind the marks at all, focused entirely on the throbbing member between his legs. Your eyes drop down his toned body to where his hand leisurely strokes up and down his shaft, purposely avoiding the tip to keep himself on the edge. It is almost purple with built up pressure, likely painful by this point, and you will yourself to move your weak limbs to reach out for him, pulling him closer to invite him between your open legs.

He takes his place at your center, one hand pressing into the soft mattress beside your head as he leans over you. You want him to kiss you so badly, but you want him inside you even more. He acquiescences this by sliding into you smoothly before swooping down for your lips.

“Mm~ Jimin!” The thick girth of his shaft stretches you perfectly, ignorant of your ticklish sensitivity as it searches for the deepest spot within you. In no time at all Jimin’s hips are flush with your ass, lips and tongue swallowing your moans into his own mouth.

“(Y/n)-“ He moans in response. Eyes squeezed tight, he forces himself to remain still. “I lose my breath every time I take this dripping pussy of yours. I’ll never get used to it.” Flattered, you hide your face with his by pulling him in for another kiss. The two of you stay like this for a long while, adjusting to each other’s bodies and basking in the intimacy of the moment.

“My love, please move.” You whine when the stillness becomes unbearable, yet you grieve at the loss of his heat when he leans away to pull you closer to the edge of the bed.

The first thrust of his hips already has you squirming. Your slick makes it so easy for him to pump into you that he barely has to put in any effort at all, his hips snapping sharply into you from the beginning. You let your legs fall farther apart at his sides and bite your lip when Jimin’s eyes land between your thighs, staring intently at the place where your bodies connect. You’re sure he can see everything, from the way your lips spread open around his wide member, to the shiny streaks of your arousal that quickly slick the inside of your thighs. It’s like you can feel his gaze caressing you, your body feeling sensitive everywhere he studies. You moan unabashedly at the sensation.

“Do you like it, My Queen? Does this feel good?” He prompts, eager for your praise.

“Y-yes, I-“ It has been so long without his cock inside you that you can’t think clearly. All you can do is shout his name and cling to the bedsheets as he wraps his arms around your thighs and holds them flush against his front. The angle makes you stutter, his tip touching somewhere sensitive that has your thighs squeezing closed. “P-please, harder. Use me.”

“Keep these fucking legs open.” Jimin growls, thrusting more harshly now. You attempt to follow his command and unclench your thighs, but they shake violently as soon as they part and it takes immense focus for you to hold them there. Looking up at your lover, you see the dark look that overtakes his features, dominance radiating off of him as he gets lost in you. You haven’t seen this look on him in a long while, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t sexy. He looks like he wants to eat you alive, devour you whole and leave not a morsel of you left until he’s had his fill.

Watching Jimin gain so much pleasure from you takes you to another level of bliss. His fingers dig into your thighs as he pounds his cock within your depths, determined to pull more desperate sounds from your throat, and his teeth bite down on his plush bottom lip in concentration. Sweat now trickles down his brow from the humid heat of the room, undoing the bath he took prior and replacing the soap with the scent of sex that leaks from his pores. This man is undeniably the hottest person you have ever laid eyes on and you can’t help but clench around him at the visuals he’s giving you.

Feeling you clench, Jimin moans, dragging his eyes up your figure until they land on your breasts. They jolt with every harsh thrust he gives you and dance flirtatiously in front of him— he can’t look away. Suddenly, he leans down and snatches up your hands, pinning them above your head with his fingers intertwined with yours, nearly drooling at how delectable you look under him. Your breasts certainly look different, the shape has become rounder and they jiggle slightly more than he can remember, but Jimin doesn’t think much of this as he focuses on delivering hard strokes. You shiver when his tongue licks a stripe up your damp neck, sucking a spot just below your ear before nibbling the lobe. He knows this is a weak spot for you, and just as he expected, your walls tighten around him once more. You push against him, trying to free your hands, but he has them locked sturdily in his grasp, silently forcing you to submit to him. You probably want to wind your fingers in his hair or grip onto his biceps, but he won’t give up an ounce of power at the moment. Not while he is ravaging you like this. So you settle for squeezing his hands and soaking in their warmth, gasping breathlessly as he takes you. You are entirely at his mercy and you absolutely love it.

One of his hands moves down to grip your thigh and push it open, unlocking you from where you have been clenched around his hips. Both of your wrists now held in one hand and still pinned against the sheets. The bed frame creaks noisily as he changes pace, abandoning his hard and fast thrusts for a slow and deep grind that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Something feels different about you, about the way you feel around him as the head of his cock licks at your cervix. It’s softer than usual and open for him, almost begging for his sperm, and he thinks this is the perfect time to get you pregnant. He aims to stay deep inside you. Each powerful movement is purposeful, everything down to the slight arch of his back that allows his pubic bone to grind into your clit, and you feel like you’re going crazy.

“Oh fuck, Jimin! I’m close again!” Your voice is strained in your throat and he smirks at the sound. He can feel it, the swell of your walls around him as you near your third high, and he swears it’s tighter than usual. Your muscles begin to tense up and push against him, preparing for your inevitable release. And just because you feel like pushing his buttons today, you allow your thighs to attempt to squeeze closed again.

“What did I say?!” The depth of his voice shocks you briefly and your eyes snap open to look at him. His jaw is tight as his stare bores into you with deadly intensity. “Keep your fucking legs open. Or do I have to hold them for you?” You let out a whimper, not daring to move your hands from their raised position when he drops your wrists to push open your other thigh, leaving you dripping and exposed in front of him. Your skin dimples where his fingertips dig into you— though he is careful not to bruise you— and he seems to hit even deeper like this. “You used to be so well behaved, My Queen. Are you acting out just to get a rise out of me?”

You dodge the question. “Please, Jimin, please make me cum again.” You can hardly hear anything aside from the slap of his balls against your ass and the squelch of his cock pushing through your warm walls.

“You think you deserve to cum? What will you do for it?” A dark chuckle leaves his throat when he sees you genuinely thinking of a response, biting so hard on your lip that he fears it might bleed.

“Anything.” You breathe. You’re unsure of how long you can hold back your orgasm, he feels so good fucking you like this, pushing his whole length into you without mercy.

“Anything, darling?” A lecherous grin plasters itself onto his mouth at your expression. “Hm, are you just saying that because you’re desperate? I can tell it feels good, you’re leaking all over me. Do you like it when I go deep like this?” You nod with a whine, eyelids pressed closed to hold back from cumming. “Open your eyes. Look at how deep I am inside you.” Peeling your eyes open, you peer down at yourself upon his command and see where his own eyes are glued. A small bulge presses against your lower abdomen every time he pushes in, disappearing when he pulls out only to reappear with the next thrust. Neither of you can take your eyes off of the sight, absolutely mesmerized by it.

“Please, I’m so close!” You groan loudly.

“You say you’ll do anything, my love?”

“Yes!”

“Will you be a good girl and let me put my baby in you? Let me cum right here against this fertile womb and get you pregnant with my baby?” The effect of his dirty talk is immediate and you clamp down on him, barely holding back as his hand rests over the bulge in your tummy, adding the tiniest amount of pressure to it.

“I will! Please!” Tears wet your doe eyes as you look up at him, digging your nails into the soft sheets above your head to keep from moving your arms from their position. He notes this with a hum, speeding up his hips in reward for your obedience.

“I know you will. Now cum.” On command, your body lets go of all the pent up pressure in your core, gripping onto his length with unbearable strength. Your walls pulsate with so much force that you nearly push him out, and when he finally pulls out of you, you squirt once again over the ledge of the bed. His hands on your legs do nothing to quell the wild tremors that overtake you and the streams of tears that flow over the apples of your cheeks. You are truly a sight to see, flushed red and glowing with the aftermath of yet another ferocious orgasm. Your sensitivity once again shocks him into silence. He didn’t even need to touch your clit for you to climax.

His stiff member bobs like a flagpole in the wind as he takes you in. It’s so hard that it stands straight up against his abdomen, jumping with its own pulse. When you open your eyes it is the first thing you see, and your body heats up again.

“Can you take any more, my love?” Jimin questions with concern, tracing his hands up your waist soothingly.

“Always. I can always take more of you.” Despite the screaming in your limbs, you sit up abruptly and pull him down to the bed, rolling the two of you over as you lock lips. Jimin seems surprised but not opposed to the shift in power dynamics, sensing that you want to take the reins for now. Your fingers wrap around his base and line him up with your slit, showing not even a moment’s hesitation before dropping down and knocking the wind out of both of you.

“You do not have to-“

“No, Jimin, I want to. I am supposed to be treating you after all, let me make you feel good.”

Fuck, you’re hot. Not only do you look amazing on top of him, but your pussy feels much hotter than usual. And it’s so tight, as if it’s greedy for every inch of him and eager to suck out his release. He won’t last long like this, that is for certain. His hands support you as you shift into a squat above him— and maybe it’s the novelty of the position, but he swears it’s never felt this good before.

“I imagined this so many times, but I never thought I’d actually get to see you riding me like this.” He confesses in a strained breath. You press your palms into his chest to lift yourself up, lowering yourself experimentally before repeating the action with less restraint.

“Am I living up to your expectations?” It could just be the angle, but his cock feels unbelievably deep inside you, and you half expect it to hurt yet you feel no pain. There is not even the slightest bit of discomfort as he nudges at your womb and you attribute this to the three incredible orgasms you have already reached tonight.

“God, yes.” He can’t look away from where you impale yourself on him, your shaky legs spread wide to let him see every second of the erotic display. From the way you grip him every time you lift up, to the strings of your arousal and cum that weave a sticky web between your ass and his pelvis, and even to the way your clit swallows in delight, he almost goes lightheaded as he takes it all in. His throat bobs as he gulps, back arching off the sheets under your warm hands.

“Faster?”

You don’t wait for a response before you start speeding up. He’s close, you can feel it in the way he swells against your walls and see it in the way his neck and chest color that pretty pink color you adore so much. Your limbs are aching for relief and it takes all of your remaining energy to keep up your efforts, but you wouldn’t dream of stopping. No, you are determined to bring Jimin to his end no matter what. The high pitched moans he lets out for your ears only are more than enough motivation to keep going, but you are working for a prize much more valuable that the lovely sounds he makes for you. You want his cum. You want it so badly that it is the only thing you can think of, so despite the pain in your fragile legs as you bounce yourself as hard and fast as you can, you continue for him. You’ve never been afraid to put in a little effort, and this is something you are willing to work for.

“(Y/n), I’m gonna cum!” Jimin’s dialect shines through strongly as he grits his teeth through the pleasure you bombard him with. You know it must feel different for him, the pleasure is always so much more intense when you aren’t the one doing all the work, and this is the first time you’ve pinned him down like this. It’s the first time you’ve dropped yourself down to clamp your knees on either side of him and wrap yourself around his upper body as you pant into his neck, leaving sloppy kisses and coaxing him toward his high with whispered words. Now that the roles are reversed, you can see just how wrecked he is for you— the usually composed king now lies spread in a heap of matted hair, sweaty skin, and bitten lips, completely speechless and grasping onto your thighs in a desperate bid to hold onto his sanity. “Please, I- I-“

“Cum for me, My King,” You are sure your body has just about reached its limit, but you feel no pain or fatigue when you look into your lover’s eyes and find an unraveled man. “I promised I would take your cum and let you get me pregnant. Give it all to me, my love, I want it. Cum inside me, Jimin.”

Bucking his hips, Jimin loses all control and throws his head back in anticipation as he aids your movements with his strong arms. When he feels your lips on his chin, he leans forward and allows you to swallow his groans of pleasure, both of you starved for breath but unwilling to pull away from the kiss. Everything you have done for him tonight— wearing sexy lingerie, getting on your knees to please him, squirting not once but twice— culminates into this one moment and he doesn’t think he can take take it. It’s all too much. With three sharp thrusts from both of you, he climaxes with a shout, lifting you up along with him as his hips rise off the bed.

“Oh fuck!” Maybe you shouldn’t feel this way, but you giggle giddily at the state of rapture he’s in because of you. The veins in his neck pop out of his skin as he dumps spurt after spurt of his semen into you, and you think this is the biggest load he’s ever given you. It takes a long time for him to come down from his high and for a moment you wonder if he will be okay with the way he twitches and shivers as your hips roll to a stop.

He doesn’t seem to mind your weight resting on top of him, nor does he react to the light kisses you press to his drenched skin. He does, however, wrap his arms securely around you when you shift to roll off of him, holding you on top of his body until you both have caught your breath and can open your heavy eyelids enough to look at each other with tired smiles.

“I love you.” You grin, running your digits through his disheveled mop of hair.

“I love you more, My Queen.” He pulls you down for another kiss to silence whatever rebuttal you surely have prepared at the tip of your tongue because he knows what you will say. And the thought makes his heart swell.

It seems like hours pass before both of you can work up the strength to part from each other. You have to be carried to the bathroom because your limbs feel far too weak and Jimin is not yet willing to let you go from his embrace. He is mindful of the puddle that you left on the floor as he carries you to the bath, and both of you sink into the depths together to wash away all your sins. You stay like that until your toes are pruned and the water is slightly cooler than lukewarm, the time flying by as you talk freely about everything you can think of: your hopes for your future family, your day with Jackson and Lena, gossip about Lilian and her whereabouts— she has not yet returned to the lodge even at this late hour and you hope that she is safe, but more importantly, you hope that her night with that handsome male servant ends similarly to yours. She could afford to take tonight and tomorrow off to unwind a bit, you feel a tad guilty that her needs may be neglected in the kingdom as she tends to you nonstop in the castle. Sleep finds you both easily and you cannot drop the smile from your cheeks as you cuddle up with the man you love.

This afternoon would have been perfect if not for the way you were feeling. Sparse clouds float through the sunny blue sky, the mountains surrounding you blossoming with vibrancy, but the beautiful scenery is dulled in your bleary eyesight. The lightheadedness you’d felt upon arrival two days ago has returned, along with a pounding headache that dampens your mood.

Jimin and Jackson walk ahead of their queens, talking casually as though they had been friends for years. The sight makes your heart grow warm and you use it to distract you from your discomfort as you walk along the outside pathways to a different section of the enormous castle. Lena notices the shift in your demeanor fairly quickly, commenting that you look less energized than yesterday.

“Did you not sleep well last night?” She implores, her brow creased with worry.

“I had a very restful sleep last night, but it feels like my body is dragging behind.” You try to keep yourself from rubbing at your face. Royals are not supposed to show weakness and vulnerability in public, and even though you are only surrounded by Kyungsoo and a few of Lena’s servants, you wish to uphold your appearances. “I do not feel sick, however, so I do not think it is caused by illness.”

“Would there be any other reason for you to feel fatigued? We did spend quite a considerable amount of time in the heat yesterday.”

“Well,” The guards and servants lag behind you far enough for them not to hear your conversation, but you still lower your voice in modesty. “Jimin and I were intimate late into the evening...” You figure your late night activities are also the reason for the tenderness you feel in your breasts, your tight undergarments causing slight pain as they bind your chest.

“Ah, I see!” She beams back at you, giggling. “You were not used to such strenuous exercise. I have experience with that— one time Jackson kept me in bed for so long that I nearly fainted from dehydration! Jimin seems like he would have a lot of stamina, be careful with that one.” The wiggle of her eyebrows lifts your spirits a bit. Speaking of such lewd subjects is seen as unladylike, especially for royalty, but you find yourself uncaring of that when you are with Lena. You have never had a woman of your same age and status to converse with before, no one could ever relate or felt comfortable enough to speak freely with you. This closeness you have with her is a novel feeling— and it is likely that Jimin feels the same with Jackson.

“I’ll be sure to be mindful of that.” You smile, staring at the back of his head. Your husband turns to look at you when he feels your eyes as he passively listens to the other King recall a story, sending a wink your way before returning his attention to the man beside him.

“Is there any other possible explanation for your symptoms?” Redirecting your gaze to Lena, you catch how her eyes flicker down to your stomach, a small smile on her lips. As soon as you realize her meaning, you stiffen, legs nearly bringing you to a halt.

“No,” Your eyes fall to the ground. “I... do not think it is pregnancy. Before I departed from home I was examined by my doctor and she-“ You sigh. “I am not pregnant.”

“Hmm. Well, I have been pregnant 4 times and have experienced many symptoms with each of my children. What you described to me sounds familiar. Do not dismiss the idea just yet, (Y/n).”

Before you can even open your mouth to form a reply, you are hit with a wave of dizziness that makes the world spin. Kyungsoo is by your side in an instant, stabilizing you as someone asks if you are alright. You are led to a nearby bench where all of the servants crowd around you, Jimin rushing over when he hears the commotion.

“(Y/n)?! What’s the matter?” The world spins a little less when your eyes are closed, so you do not look up at him, but you can imagine the almost sickly worry covering his lovely face. You know he has been especially traumatized by the events of your wedding and you never want to put him in a situation like that again, but you can’t help the way your body feels. Distantly, you hear Jackson order a servant to get the doctor, footsteps skittering away as he comes to squat down in front of you.

“Are you ill?” Jackson’s voice calms the anxiety you weren’t aware you were feeling. It is frightening not knowing what’s going on with your own body. Lena’s words ring in your mind.

“N-no, it is just the altitude. I just need to rest for a minute.” Your excuse is almost convincing, but no one moves— except for Jimin, who moves closer to you on the bench to support your back. After a few minutes, your head begins to clear, though your vision remains blurry. Eyes silently peer at you from all sides and you can feel them hot on your skin, embarrassment now the prominent emotion you feel. “Please do not worry about me, I am fine, really.”

“Are you certain? We can rest here for a little while longer.” Jimin suggests gently, but for some reason this irritates you.

“I said I’m fine.” You snap, earning an even more concerned look from him. Just then, the doctor approaches, slightly out of breath and sweating. “I don’t need a doctor! I’m feeling better already. Look.” You no longer feel dizzy anymore so you attempt to stand, rising quickly from the seat to come face to face with Jackson as he rises as well. Jimin still has his arm around you, both men watching you closely. “See?” But as soon as you’re stable on your feet, the spinning returns as if on cue and you come toppling forward into Jackson’s arms, everything going black.

“You don’t need to do this, Jackson, I told you I feel okay now.” You grumble as he carries you to the infirmary inside the castle. He took you into his arms without hesitation when you fell, offering to carry you because Jimin was rapidly descending into distress. While you were only out for about 2 minutes before you regained consciousness, everyone had reacted as if you were dying.

Looking at your husband now, you can see how unnerved he has become. Because he is a General who has seen many battles, he has trained himself not to react emotionally in stressful situations— but you can read the look in his eyes as clear as day as he walks alongside you, watching you more closely than what is in front of him.

“That is what you said earlier, and then you fainted immediately afterwards. Do not worry, I don’t mind carrying you. I needed a little exercise today anyway.” Always a jokester, you crack a smile at his comment, rolling your eyes as the doctor leads him into a room to rest you on the bed. The doctor works quickly, taking a blood sample from you and leaving for the lab, having already taken your vitals when you initially passed out. “We’ll be waiting outside.” With that, Jackson takes Lena’s shaky hand and exits the room, leaving you in bed and Jimin hovering over you awkwardly.

“Please sit down, you are making me nervous.” You breathe. He blinks and nods absently, perching himself on the edge of the bed next to you. “Are you okay?”

“I should be asking you that.” He laughs dryly. Jimin bites his lip when you give him a sympathetic gaze and take his hand. Your words from the argument you had nearly a month ago echo in his head. This is a chance for him to open up to you about his emotions and seek your comfort, your expression shows that you are expecting it of him, so he takes a deep breath. There’s no use hiding his emotions from you. “Truth be told, I am a wreck. You fainting brought back some rather unpleasant memories.” He confesses.

“I’m sorry.” You really are apologetic, stressing him out is the last thing you ever wanted to do.

“It is not your fault. I just worry about you so much. I cannot bear to lose you, my love, and I feel so helpless when things like this happen, it feels like I always have to wait for others to come to rescue you.”

“Would you like to become a doctor so you are more prepared, then?” He wasn’t expecting that response and snaps his head up to look at you when you laugh. “You cannot control everything that happens to me, Jimin. It is okay to let others help. All I need is for you to stay by my side, your presence is more than enough.” He nods at this, accepting the kiss you plant on his cheek and squeezing your hands.

Long seconds of silence pass as you wait for the doctor to return. Then, a sudden thought pops into your mind that makes you groan aloud.

“Lilian is going to be pissed at me.” You can’t help but chuckle at the circumstances.

“Why is that?”

“I told her to take off today and enjoy her time here, but she was worried about me so she initially refused. I assured her of my health this morning before we left. I can only imagine to look on her face once she finds out what happened.” You do feel a bit bad, Lilian knows you better than anyone and it is clear that she could tell something was off, but you convinced her that her instincts were wrong and now you find yourself in the infirmary. She will surely put herself down over this incident because of her absence when you most needed her.

“You can worry about her after we confirm that you are okay. For now, let us focus on this.” Just then, the doctor enters the room again, coming to stand at the bottom of the bed as you and Jimin look up at them with expectant eyes. Your heart pounds in your chest. You’ve become so used to hearing bad news from doctors, you are almost conditioned to be nervous and guarded around them.

“(Y/n), I have determined the cause of your sudden collapse.” Jimin squeezes your hand tighter and you can feel the sweat on his fingertips. “It appears that you are pregnant! Congratulations! The blood tests showed high levels of-“

“Pardon?” You interject with a raspy voice. Your brain is having a hard time processing the words and you blink slowly for a few seconds, unaware of Jimin’s shell shocked expression. “I- H-how can this be? My physician tested me right before I left and she said I was not pregnant.”

“Well, it is entirely possible to get false negative results, especially when it is early in the pregnancy. I don’t think it reflects poorly on your physician, these things just happen sometimes and are completely out of our control. But looking at my test results and the symptoms you have been experiencing, I am certain that you are about 6 weeks pregnant.”

“B-but I bled last month.”

“For how many days?”

“One or two...”

“Then that was likely implantation bleeding, which is to be expected. Dizziness and even fainting are also fairly common symptoms, so there is no particular need to worry about today’s incident— though I recommend that you make sure to get adequate rest and nutrition to avoid complications in the future. Once again, congratulations.”

Finally, you drag your gaze over to your husband who has been silent since the doctor appeared, and his eyes are filled to the brim with tears when they connect with yours.

“You- (Y/n), you’re finally pregnant!” He whispers, and the way his voice cracks causes the dam to break within yourself and all of your emotions come flooding out. Before you know it you’re wrapped in his embrace, both of you simultaneously sobbing and laughing into each other’s necks from pure joy and surprise as the doctor excuses themselves from the room. It is like all of the building frustration from the past several months has been crushing you slowly and now that weight has been lifted, allowing you to breathe freely for the first time. Jimin feels similarly. He has been holding back so many of his emotions since you first started trying to get pregnant and that has taken a tremendous toll on his mind and body, but for the first time, he can finally release those emotions and let himself feel the heaviness of it all. He is crying harder than you are, soaking the top of your dress as you cradle his head to you and hold him there. His hands ghost over your waist and lower abdomen so delicately, as if protecting the growing life inside of you.

When you’ve both gotten yourselves together enough to allow Jackson and Lena to visit, they rush in without hesitation.

“Is everything okay?” Lena is by your side first, immediately noticing your red and puffy eyes. You’re a little bit hesitant to tell her because you know she’ll gloat about her “sixth sense”.

“Yes, I’m alright. We just found out that I am pregnant.” The room erupts into noise, the two of them sounding like an entire circus as Jackson nearly jumps on Jimin in a bear hug and Lena squeals excitedly beside you.

“I knew it! You dismissed me so offhandedly and it turns out that I was right! I have a sixth sense for these things, you know; you should trust me more often.” Just as expected.

“And here you were, just telling me how worried you were about not yet yielding an heir to the throne,” Jackson throws a heavy arm over Jimin’s shoulder. “I suppose we should celebrate before you depart in the morning. I will throw a lovely ball tonight in your honor!”

“Oh, I must oversee the preparations then! Get some rest, (Y/n), and congratulations again!” And just like that, the couple is gone, rushing back out of the room and leaving you and your husband giggling.

“I am sorry, Lilian.” You apologize for what feels like the thousandth time. She continues to pout as she helps load your belongings into the carriage, barely sparing you a glance.

“I knew I should have stayed; I had a feeling something would happen.” She turns to scowl, not necessarily at you but it is in your direction. “I cannot believe I missed such a huge announcement as well! Both Jackson and Lena found out before me, this is so unfair.”

“You sound like a child,” You snicker, taking Kyungsoo’s hand as he helps you into the carriage behind Jimin.

“Yes, well I think I am allowed to throw a tantrum just this once.” You catch Kyungsoo crack a grin at her, the first time you’ve seen any emotion from him, and it brings a smile to your own face.

“If it makes you feel any better, Kyungsoo found out after Jackson and Lena, too.” Jimin comments, taking your hand and pulling you into his side.

“It does not make me feel better because he still found out before me!”

The sun is still low in the sky but slowly rises as you depart from the kingdom. Once you return to the castle, there are many duties that you must take care of, and many traditional processes you will have to go through now that you are pregnant— you are carrying a possible future heir to the throne after all. But you have never been happier. For now it still feels surreal, even though you have waited nearly a year for this moment, but as soon as the people of your kingdom come to greet you and celebrate the news of your conception, the reality of the situation will hit and you are sure you will be overwhelmed with new challenges. Pregnancy is not an easy thing, but at least you will have Jimin with you to help you through it all, just as he has always done. You rest your head on his shoulder with a mischievous grin.

“So Lilian, how was your date the other night? You seemed rather cozy with that young man at the ball yesterday evening.”

“It was not a date!”

[land-of-classpects-and-analysis]

The Rogue Class Analysis

When the word ‘Rogue’ is brought up, what is the first thing that comes to mind? A person who lives in the forest, cloaked in shadow, always on the run from authority? Someone who steals from the rich and gives to the poor, a bow and arrow always in their hand? A mysterious, brooding figure with a secret and mysterious backstory who hides their trauma behind a charming personality and slick, witty tongue? Perhaps something along those lines at the very least.

Now, there is some weight to the point that the Rogue is a figure almost as well known and cherished as the Knight. Across multiple pieces of media, there is often at least one way the Rogue and their legacy manifests. This could be as simple as the term “Rogue-ish Charm” being used, as Rogues are famous - or infamous - for having some of the most charming personalities; if only being challenged slightly by that of Bards.

In a way, this matter of fact can go for Classpects, as well - specifically Classes. However, the charm of a Bard is a discussion that will happen for another day. For now, let’s truly begin to focus on just who exactly the Rogue - or rather the people connected to it - is and how they act like. As mentioned before, Rogues are often figures cloaked in shadows and shrouded in mystery when it comes to media - and those connected with the Rogue Class are no different. They tend to be the ones who linger in the in-between of groups, never being truly in the spotlight, but rarely ever being fully shoved to behind the stage and curtains.

For some Rogues, this is a deliberate choice. Not wanting to be the main protagonist of their own story, but also never truly wanting to lose all control over their narrative. They often much prefer to play a supportive role - being one of the many support beams helping to keep up the rest of the group. However, that support can often only go so far before the Rogue realizes that they are at a grand risk. What risk, exactly? Why, the risk of their facade falling apart and their true self being realized.

As much as the Rogue may present themself to be a kind and loving individual, this is often an over-inflated part of their personality. That is not to say that they are cold or uncaring, but rather that the amount of effort they put into others is often far more than they normally would. Why they do this is often to hold up the other parts of their facade - specifically the ones that hide that the Rogue isn’t one who exactly knows what they are doing, or that they are as successful as they may present themself to be.

One of the biggest things Rogues love to brag about is how much of their Aspect they have. A Rogue of Doom may brag about how empathetic they are, perhaps a Rogue of Light speaks highly of all the knowledge they have, or a Rogue of Space talks so highly of themself and their calm, precise nature in battle. All of this confidence, all of these boasts about their greatness and triumph in their Aspect; all of these facades and characters the Rogue plays.

But, why? Why lie about something such as this? Aspects are such a deeply personal thing - a force rooted into our souls like the veins within our own bodies. To lie about having any connection to it is to create this false idea in everyone else’s head - the idea that the Rogue is someone far bigger and better than they really are. So, once again, the question is begged: why hide this truth away from everyone, even close friends, and instead craft countless frail facades?

The simple answer is this: the Rogue is ashamed, and they are scared. It could be argued that they are ashamed of being scared, especially for the Rogues who seemingly hold more power over others in their group, or who feel they must be the stronger and better person no matter their situation. Rogues are often selfless people, and are so quick to give away pieces of themself so that others may further their own growth. Oftentimes, they will convince themself that their own suffering will never truly be as bad as someone else’s. And so they continue to give, and give, and give to others.

It is because of this selfless nature that people tend to flock to the Rogue, and begin to lean on them for more and more support. The last thing a Rogue wants to be is a disappointment to the people around them, so they allow for this theft of themself to continue. However, deep down, the Rogue is scared of so many things. Scared of failure, disappointing others, never rising to their true potential - whatever that may be. But, most importantly, the Rogue is scared of their Aspect.

To be more specific, the Rogue is afraid of taking a hold of their Aspect - of finally stealing it away from where it is plentiful. To try and take hold of a force so abstract and flexible would be like attempting to wrestle eels coated in oil; near impossible, and extremely dangerous. For the Rogue, if they are to try and attempt to take hold of their Aspect too early, they risk losing a connection to it altogether. Many Rogues tend to be very spirited people, and as such are very quick to try and jump ahead of their Aspect-lessons as soon as possible. Sometimes this is out of a want to help people sooner, while other times it’s because they simply are bored and don’t want to be stuck with what is, essentially, Aspect Homework.

Whether Rogues realize it or not, they are people who have a lot going for them. The universe tends to have great plans for them, and it is shown in how they interact with the world and people around them. Rogues tend to have great influence on their surroundings, and sometimes can even become the catalysts for some rather important events around them. Although they may try to steer clear of being the center of attention, the spotlight still often manages to fully capture them every once in a while. When it does, then it is often a sign from the Rogue that their journey is about to take a rather interesting and unexpected turn. 

With that in mind, one of the biggest struggles the Rogue heavily internalizes is that they tend to underestimate themselves. They don’t think themself as anyone special, or of grand importance to the greater plot of the world around them. Instead, many, or even most, Rogues will see themself as just someone doing what they believe to be best. When faced with compliments in regards to the good things they do, they tend to be the type who get red-faced and try to brush it off with a small comment. ‘It was the right thing to do’, or, ‘I couldn’t just let someone/my friend deal with it on their own’ are two extremely common remarks made by Rogues.

As humble and selfless as Rogues may present themself to be, this deflection and internalized underestimation of themselves are some of the biggest things that prevent the Rogue from taking control of their Aspect. Humbleness does not always mean progress. Selflessness is not always harmless. By allowing for them to constantly be the one in a supportive role, they occupy themself with far too many side-quests that involve other people’s issues when, truly, they are meant to focus on their own journey and their own growth. Some say that a Rogue does all of these tasks, jobs, and quests so as to avoid even having to think of their journey - believing that if they keep busy, they will never have to answer to their Aspect’s call. For some Rogues, this is true.

Perhaps one of the reasons Rogues struggle so much with their journey is that they are not even sure what they are meant to do. Everyone around them has all of these distinct powers of destruction, manipulation, creation, and more; but what do they have? What are they? Who are they to the group, the world, or even the whole universe they dwell within? Their Aspect has been stolen from them so much that they often do not question it, or even try to fight it. Some Rogues may believe that this is their power; to have their Aspect taken from them by everyone and everything around them. A person so passive that they always seem to have some piece of their Aspect to give, despite never having lifted a finger to achieve it.

Little does the Rogue know that they are so very, very close to discovering their potential and power(s). It should be of no surprise to read that the Rogue is one who is meant to steal their Aspect, and that they have their own personal spin on it. For Rogues are those who not only steal their Aspect, but they give to those who are truly lacking in it - much like themself. Rogues are very rarely meant to keep whatever they reap from their sowing, instead giving it to the world and people around them. 

If the Rogue so chooses, they can keep some pieces of their Aspect all for themself. When enough of this force has been collected, they can then acquire the power of being able to steal through their Aspect. However, Rogues are those so often held back by their high morals, loyalty, and more, that very few even understand their first power of only stealing their Aspect. The thought of ever having to take something away from someone is oftentimes enough to keep a Rogue away from continuing their journey any further. 

Despite their selfless nature and alluring charm, Rogues are still those who tend to keep to themselves for the most part. Whenever a Rogue is in a conversation, very rarely was it them who started it. They tend to be those who believe that any conversation they start must have a purpose; uncommonly being one who enjoys mild chitchat and small-talk. If they are going to start a conversation, chances are it is because they have something deeply important and/or urgent to share with the other(s), or they merely prefer the company of whomever they are talking to.

It could be said that Rogues are those who much prefer to be approached rather than approach others. To an extent, this is extremely true; however, it should be said that this attitude is not one of being self-centered. Quite the contrary, actually, for they are someone who much prefers to let others speak first and for themself to speak last. They tend to be the one who listens to everyone else, whether it be wonderful news or the most devastating story to be told.

On the other hand, Rogues are those who tend to hide away all of their problems from everyone else; even if the very ship they are standing on is engulfed by flames. No matter what is happening in their life, they will be the person to put everyone before them. If anything, chances are that the more worst things the Rogue has been through, the more they are willing to help others around them. 

Helping has and always will be their biggest priority in life. Almost every action they do is to help someone they know and care for. There are only a few things in life that could ever change this part of the Rogue. They are lovers, not fighters. Although they are not a healer, their actions and motives tend to run nearly, perfectly parallel to that of a Maid or Sylph. On that same note, however, do not believe them to be completely harmless only because they do not hold the same destructive power as a Bard of Prince. Underestimating a Rogue is one of the most foolish things to do.

However, even the Rogue themself is guilty of underestimating themself in almost every way possible. It is because of this self doubt that they put up their facades in the first place. A cool person who has everything under control, and who is never bothered by anything at all - that’s who they present themself to be to nearly every person they ever meet. There may come a time where they themself begin to think this facade is who they really are even though, in reality, they are struggling heavily with an immeasurable amount of problems. 

In order for them to properly start their journey and acquire their powers, they must learn to come and face the truth. They aren’t as great as they present themself, they aren’t as flawless, skilled, or even suave as others perceive them to be. And that’s okay. At least, for most people who are faced with this truth would come to think. It’s not right to expect perfection all the time, and it will ultimately become something that brings out more harm than good.

The facade of how they want to be perceived is not who they are, and it is not the person that their Aspect is looking for. It is something that prohibits them from becoming a true hero. What their Aspect is looking for is someone truly brave and confident enough to even attempt wrangling it; stealing it from any source that holds it. As it stands, so long as the Rogue is withholding an identity that does not truly reflect on who they are as a person, then they will never be able to begin their journey towards their powers nor their Aspect.

Although they care for their friends and enjoy playing a supportive role to those around them, they can only help them so much before their attempts become useless. No, the way in which the Rogue is meant to fully help their friends is not through comforting words, loving gestures, or silent moments of solidarity. Rather, they are meant to redistribute their Aspect to those who are so desperately in need of it; or, more accurately, steal away their Aspect from those who have far too much of it and give it to those who are lacking in it.

It could be said that, to an extent, there is a considerable amount of Rogues who know the curse they have inflicted upon themself. Being aware of what is holding them back from being their best self is sometimes what helps them to start their journey, but other times it’s what holds them back more. Now, there has been a lot of emphasis on their facade and anxieties, but what about the solutions for this? Or, perhaps, what about the rewards for them removing their facade?

Many times, a Rogue will scare themself out of removing their facade. They’ll convince themself that the cons will always outweigh the pros, even if it means helping others to the best of their ability. It is a long and internal battle for the Rogue when it comes to breaking through these facades, but it is one that will have many rewards awaiting them. It is the Rogues who manage to look past their moral compasses and internalized lawfulness that will begin to see the cracks in the walls they have fortified around them. Through those cracks they will not only see their true self, but they also begin to see the true world around them.

For as faithful as the Rogue is to the people around them, it is a faith that comes from blind following and ignorance. It is because of this ignorance that they subconsciously put everyone they care for on a pedestal, with them as the pillar holding them up. By putting away and dismantling their facade, they will come to realize that they are not the only person with flaws in the world; even those who we pour our hearts and souls into are sometimes not always the best or most elegant individuals.

The more aware of reality, their very own included, that they become, the closer they get to achieving a sense of alignment with their Aspect. However, by doing just this, the Rogue will also have to see past their false paradise - they will have to realize how truly bleak and harmful the world around them can be. Most importantly, they will have to see how misplaced their Aspect has become in the world - or even as small as the very group they belong to.

Such a change in perspective can become overwhelming to some Rogues, and thus prevent them even more from beginning their journey towards harnessing their power. It is something far bigger than them, so who are they to even begin and try to think on how they may fix it? There have even been some cases where it’s made them even more afraid of their Aspect, causing them to avoid it even more - sometimes for the rest of their life or existence.

However, there are just as many Rogues who will see this and eventually overcome that initial feeling of shock and being overwhelmed. Once they do, they can finally start to get to work on finding the best ways to redistribute their Aspect - making it far more evenly placed amongst their group and, perhaps eventually, the world around them. The journey in which the Rogue takes down their facade is often a personal one, best left to be heard about than witnessed. Occasionally on their journey, though, they will come to a pit stop where a person they love and/or trust waits for them. They have given so much to their friends, and so it is time for their group to return the favor during the Rogue’s journey of self discovery and alignment.

Ultimately, the Rogue is someone who has to become comfortable with taking something that rightfully belongs to them: their Aspect. They have to accept that they won’t always be able to please everyone, right alongside not allowing injustices to lie; inside of their own life included. By stealing their Aspect away from something or someone, it means putting others at a slight or even grand disadvantage while also giving an advantage to another sector. Recognizing their true self as a Rogue will not only help them become more confident in who they are as a person, but it will also help them become the hero they are meant to be.

For the Rogue to harness their potential alongside their power, they must first learn about all there is to know about their Aspect. How it affects them, their friends, and everything else around them. Knowing about one’s Aspect is not something only restricted to the Classes of Knowing; one of the best examples of this would be the Rogue. Once they come to understand the ebbs and flows of their Aspect, how it swirls mystically inside and out of them and everyone - everything - else, they will finally begin to approach their powers of thievery.

Along the way of this journey, they will have to overcome their own internal blockades; namely, they will have to stop worrying about hurting those around them. Sometimes a Rogue’s Aspect is one so deeply personal and ingrained in one’s being, that to steal it from someone could feel the exact same as stealing away their right of oxygen, love, or life itself. It is something many Rogues struggle to face and battle, for it is a fear the size of a titan, so deeply stitched into them. What the Rogue needs most on this journey is a companion, someone to be there and help guide them into the waters - holding their hand, no matter how frigid or boiling it is, or how deep it may go. After all, the Rogue has been there for their friends numerous times; is it not fair that at least one of them returns the favor?

It is a long journey for the Rogue to become comfortable to steal away their Aspect. While there will certainly be some who may never truly make it to their full potential, there will be a hundred thousand more that will find their way across the finish line. Against all the odds, and all of their own personally created challenges, the Rogue will finally get to feel what it’s like to be of far more fulfilling use to the world around them.

At least, that is how it should feel. That is how it does feel for most of the other Classes whenever they fully align with their Aspect, and truly begin to harness their powers. More often than not, the case is the exact opposite for the Rogue. It is not the theft of their Aspect from themself that is discomforting, but it is the fact they now have to maintain boundaries.

In the past, the Rogue would hold their Aspect out for everyone to take their piece, leaving themself with very little of their Aspect left. Now that they have learned how to steal their Aspect, however, their next step is putting up rules. These rules are not only meant to prevent outside forces from taking too much from the Rogue, but also prevent the Rogue from unevenly distributing their Aspect to the world around them. One of the biggest responsibilities for the Rogue, after all, is to maintain complete Aspect Balance in the world around them.

Take too much, and they will be the one hoarding their Aspect from those in need of it. Give too much away, and they risk putting too much of it where it does not need or deserve to be. Finding that balance not only in the outside world, but inside of themself, as well, is a daunting task for some Rogues. What the Rogue will learn from plenty of opportunities of practice is how to determine when someone has truly had their fill, and how to ignore any possible rebuttals; how to ignore the loud thumping of their ever-bleeding heart.

Once they manage to teach themself these important factors - of course, if they do manage to do so, as not every Rogue is guaranteed to succeed in this journey -, they will not only begin to steal and redistribute their Aspect, but also accumulate it for themself. With every piece they steal and place somewhere else, a metaphysical Aspect Residue sticks with them without the Rogue knowing. This is a much slower, but natural process for the Rogue to build up their own amounts of Aspect Residue, but it is one that is well worth it.

If the Rogue were to become aware of this gradual build up, then some may find it far more beneficial to begin actively taking their fair share of their Aspect when stealing and redistributing it. A few Rogues may find this to be more cost effective with time, resources, or something similar. Other Rogues just may be eager to keep a little bit of extra of their Aspect, no matter what comes of it.

This begs the question, what does happen with this residual Aspect that the Rogue is left with? Why do they even gather it in the first place? Much like any other Class, the Rogue Class is one who holds a secondary power. However, their method of reaching this secondary power is only slightly different from most of the others. While an Heir must plunge themself into their Aspect, a Knight must free their sword from themself, or a Seer must gain a pure clarity and understanding of their Aspect, the Rogue is one who must build up their Aspect on the inside.

Rogues are those who are naturally equipped with their Aspect, but they are so often quick to give it away to those around them. Therefore, by keeping more and more of for themself whilst stealing it, they allow for their Aspect to truly find a place in their heart and soul. When enough of their Aspect has built up inside of them, then the connection between the two forces will become far stronger and rigid - a new level of understanding achieved by the hardest working Rogues there are.

This understanding of one’s Aspect lends itself to a new power. That power is being able to steal through the Aspect itself. Stealing through one’s Aspect means to hold control and a grand understanding over it, capable of using it in the many different forms it can take. Very few Rogues do get to achieve this power, yes, but the ones who do get to truly show off just how far they are willing to reach in order to help out their allies.

A Rogue of Life would be able to steal through literal Life; i.e. having creeping vines beckon to their will. However, they may also use their amassed wealth and luxury as a get-out-jail-free card. On the opposite end, a Rogue of Doom could summon a gang of the undead to help them acquire the treasure they so desire, or use their tragic backstory as a way to schmooze what they want out of someone’s pocket. Of course, this is only two of many other ways in which a Rogue may steal through their Aspect. It is a power that calls upon a creative mind, willing to play around and perhaps even toss out their own personal morals and other blockades when the need arises.

These are often the Rogues who have gained the most genuine confidence in almost every part of themself; though that is not to say they are always going to be confident. After all, a Rogue’s job is never truly finished, not when there is still an imbalance of their Aspect left in this world. Being one of the Classes meant to bring that balance to their group is often one that seems to continue for eternity, but so is the way of the world. For Rogues, what often matters most to them is the certainty that somehow they have made things a little better for a struggling person in this world. Or, perhaps on the flip-side, they made a nuisance into a much smaller problem; bringing a king off of his throne.

When the word ‘Rogue’ is brought up, what comes to mind may now seem like a far cry from how Rogues here truly act. A Rogue may have a charming personality of mysterious gravity to them, but this is often because they do not want people to know who they really are. And it is this facade that has left the Rogue so stunted in their growth. For the journey of the Rogue is not as traditional as some of the other Classes.

Many Classes may seek out means of redemption, to fix what they have broken on the outside. But, the Rogue is different in that it is not something external they have broken, but rather internal. They had allowed for themself to be picked apart, piece by piece, by everyone around them; especially those they love and hold close. However, there came a time where the Rogue had to finally realize that this was not a sufficient way of helping others. No, they needed to take the initiative to better not only themself, but also their Aspect.

By going on a personal journey of betterment and self-reflection, the Rogue will have to face the fact that there is no such thing as perfection. Even the people they so deeply idolize and love have flaws that cannot forever be ignored. This is meant to be a wake up call to the Rogue; that even they can have their own imperfections, commit acts that hurt those in their group, and still have the potential to be a good person who is loved.

The most important part of a Rogue’s journey is that they realize how much they are worth. How much they matter to their group, the world around them, their Aspect, and, ultimately, themself. Only once they realize their worth will they finally be able to help those around them to even higher levels, including themself. It is most certainly a slow going journey for some Rogues, but there is a promise that, no matter what, they will achieve that power to steal their Aspect.

Rogues play critical roles when it comes to maintaining balance with their Aspect. Chances are that any Thief in their group will play as a lovely reflection of them, and pose an interesting challenge. Thieves are those who steal their Aspect for themself and only themself; at least, more often than not. Because of this, they could help the Rogue to become more connected with their powers, as the two of them would become near polar opposites to one another. When the Rogue has come far in their journey of thievery, they may jokingly say to themself that ‘at least [they are] not a Thief’.

Ultimately, the role of a Rogue is someone who continuously helps to usher everyone closer to their end goal. Whether it is a group wide goal, or individual ones. During the Rogue’s journey, they will come to take on a far more neutral mindset, often because their own personal goal becomes that of winning. For a Rogue in a game, they will do what they can to usher in that victory for others, even if it means breaking and/or bending a rule or few.

Rogues are not healers, nor are they protectors. They cannot fix what has been broken, and they cannot defend what has been exposed. What they can do is exploit moments of vulnerability and weakness to get what they want, stealing what belongs to them and those in need. If the Rogue deems someone or someplace to be withholding an overabundance of their Aspect, then it will be up to them to formulate a plan to reinstate that balance.

If you ever need a job to be done, then the Rogue is someone you can most certainly count on, even if they occasionally doubt their own ability. Even when they do have self doubt, it is so often spoken over by their dedication and care for the people in need. No matter where a Rogue is in their journey - whether they are just starting, half-way through, or have achieved complete alignment with their Aspect. Nothing will ever stop the Rogue from having a large, bleeding heart for everyone around them.

And that is what makes the Rogue who they are. No matter what Aspect is tied to them, everything they do is in the name of someone else in some way. The Rogue knows how it feels to be lacking in their Aspect; how lonely it can leave one to feel. And so they learned, and they taught themself how to take hold of what belongs to them. They are the conductor, the arch, the bridge that allows for their Aspect to move on to someone in need of it.

The Rogue does this because they care. They create an even playing field not just for themself, and they do not redistribute their Aspect for its balance. They do this so that those who have natural disadvantages, as well as those who have a natural advantage, all have a fair fighting chance. In the Rogue’s presence, everyone can have a chance to give their piece, even the Rogue themself. In the Rogue’s presence, everyone has a chance to succeed.