#It’ll be like the smallest thing and it just bugs me so much and I hate it

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 73

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

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Thursday, March 24; 8:30 AM – Camp Wiegman

I’ve never seen such organization. Mr. Johnson has planned everything down to the smallest detail. Everything except maybe the bus being late. Still, we know the time to leave is approaching quickly. Our management teacher, along with Lucy and Ingrid, are our chaperones for this trip, which is seeming more and more boring. Through a small note, we found out that the company we’re visiting isn’t even in Manchester, so we’ve got quite a drive ahead. I made sure to pack my headphones for the trip after confirming with Lucy that it was allowed. I have a feeling I won’t enjoy any of this. The company selected is an industrial one. To be honest, none of this interests me at all. Seeing that nothing was happening for a while, I slipped out of the group standing by the grills to go see Lucy.

"Are we leaving soon? This is getting long."

"I know. The driver’s on his way. Your teacher just spoke to him on the phone."

"Okay," I sighed.

"Come on, don’t complain, you’re getting out of a whole day of classes."

I shrugged. Honestly, I think I’d rather stay here, given what’s waiting for us. Lucy laughed at my lack of enthusiasm.

"Oh, come on, it could be cool. It’s interesting to see the world of cars."

"Speak for yourself."

From her perspective, it’s definitely different. She really likes motor vehicles. At least there’s one person who’s going to enjoy this trip.

"Go join the others, we’ll be leaving soon."

I sighed but did as told, heading back toward my friends. At least she was right. After a few more minutes, the bus finally arrived, much to everyone’s relief, especially the teachers, given how my class was starting to get restless. After one last headcount, we were finally able to board the bus. As for me, I hung back with my friends, as well as Lucy and Ingrid. We figured everyone would rush to get the back seats, and that’s exactly what happened. Johnson had to shout to be heard over the commotion. Poor guy, he’s going to lose his voice at this rate. Our turn came, and the only thing that mattered to me was sitting near my girlfriend, which luckily, I did. I sat with Alessia, just behind Ingrid and Lucy, but in front of Lotte and Leah. At least we were sure we wouldn’t be bothered. Our teachers sat in the same row as Lucy. She took the window seat, which was fine by me. At least I knew my management teacher wouldn’t bug her. I’d already noticed he’d been trying to cozy up to her since this morning. I’m not jealous—okay, maybe just a little. He did one last headcount before giving the driver the green light. The noise in the bus was deafening. I was going to get a headache before we even reached the factory. I was already not feeling great anyway.

"Sorry for the delay. Traffic is terrible this morning," the driver explained. "There was an accident on the road I took. It was too late to turn back."

"It’s not your fault," my teacher sighed. "But this means it’ll take us longer to get there. We’ll probably hit rush hour."

Wonderful! That was the last thing I wanted to hear. My exaggerated sigh made Alessia laugh.

"Wow, you’re really not excited, huh?"

"Next time, I’ll fake being sick."

"Not in your wildest dreams," I heard Lucy say from the front.

I made silly faces, making my friend laugh, but it caught my girlfriend’s attention. She raised an eyebrow, but I just gave her an angelic smile in return. Luckily for me, she quickly gave up.

"You didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed, did you?"

I shrugged. Not really, no. I got my period this morning, and it’s been a while since I’ve had such bad cramps. That’s not something I was about to tell her, though. If this was the price for restarting my whole system down there, then so be it, although I could have done without it. I sighed, leaning my head against the window. This trip was going to be long—I could feel it.

"You’re really pale. Are you sure you’re okay?" Alessia asked.

She placed her hand on my forehead to check my temperature. Her comment seemed to alert Lucy, who turned around again.

"I’m fine," I sighed. "Just feeling a bit off."

"What’s wrong?" Lucy asked. "You look like you’re about to be sick."

Now that she mentioned it, my stomach wasn’t the only thing bothering me. I shrugged in response.

"Do you mind switching seats, Alessia?"

"No, not at all," she replied.

Within minutes, Lucy was sitting next to me. She touched my forehead, but I didn’t think she’d find anything. I didn’t feel like I had a fever.

"Did you eat anything this morning?"

"Yeah."

I blushed, looking down at my hands. I didn’t know how to explain what was wrong without saying it out loud.

"Does something hurt?"

There it was—the opening I needed.

"My stomach, but it’s not because of what I ate..."

She raised an eyebrow at my confident tone. Then, I saw the light bulb go off in her head.

"Oh. I see. Did you take anything?"

"No, I didn’t have anything on me..."

"Okay, hang on."

She bent down to rummage through her bag. All I wanted to do was collapse onto her, but we both knew that wasn’t possible. Johnson, who was sitting a row ahead, started asking Lucy about me, but she quickly brushed him off, saying she could handle it. Usually, when my periods started like this during my teenage years, the pain would escalate, which was what worried me. I still had cramps sometimes, but not this intense. Normally, you couldn’t tell by looking at me, and I rarely complained.

"Here, take this."

She handed me a pill along with a bottle of water. I swallowed it without even asking what it was, especially now that even my head was starting to ache. I would have taken anything to make it stop.

"You’re usually not in this much pain, are you?"

"No."

I blushed again. I didn’t want her to think it was her fault. She just nodded.

"Rest up. We’ve got at least an hour before we get there, thanks to the traffic."

I nodded and leaned my head against the window. It wasn’t the best idea, considering the way it was shaking my head, but I didn’t have much choice.

"Don’t be silly. Come here—it’ll be more comfortable."

She surprised me by inviting me to rest my head on her shoulder. I wasn’t going to complain. It was clearly much more pleasant. With that, I closed my eyes, hoping the medicine would kick in.

Thursday, March 24; 9:50 AM – At the company 

"And here we are," my teacher announced.

We had just arrived at the company, a full half-hour behind schedule. I was cold. Lucy had woken me up just before we arrived, and my body was struggling to warm up again. All I wanted was to be in my girlfriend’s arms. I hated being so close to her yet feeling so far away.

"I expect you all to behave impeccably during this visit. This is one of the few trips that’s been approved by our school, so don’t make the principal or me regret it."

Oddly, everyone had calmed down. I’m not sure what had happened, but the last thing I remembered was the incessant noise of my classmates, which had kept me from sleeping properly. Lucy was by my side, and I don’t think she was planning on going anywhere. She was so sweet to care this much about me.

"As I mentioned in class, you'll be divided into four groups of six or seven people. We'll assign the groups, and then we can begin."

Everyone is called one by one. Lucy kept me by her side, assuring me that we would spend the day together. To be honest, I tried hard to get her to reveal who was on her list, like Alessia, but surprisingly, she didn’t let anything slip. So, it would be a surprise. The surprise didn’t last long though. Ingrid was the first to form her group, and Alessia and Lotte were in it. I realized Mr. Johnson had purposely separated us. My other classmates weren’t with their usual groups either. Well, at least he ensured we were with someone we knew. Then it was Lucy’s turn. I was right—Leah was in my group, along with a few others I barely knew. I don’t tend to talk to many others, but being with Leah is fine. Though she didn’t seem too pleased, judging by the sigh she let out as she joined us.

"Try to contain your joy, Leah," Lucy teased.

"I’m doing my best," she replied, rolling her eyes, making my girlfriend do the same.

Some people laughed, but it didn’t last long. Lucy commands respect and asked us to form a line, two by two. Mr. Johnson, who had another group beside him, couldn’t help but comment.

"Well. You’re a woman who knows how to command respect."

I’m going to punch him soon. Lucy, noticing my frustration, discreetly grabbed my wrist to stop me from saying anything.

"The important thing is that it’s mutual," she retorted.

Her reply made him look away, and she let go of my wrist. I hated how he acted like he had the right to flirt with her. She really needs to put him in his place. If she could tell him she’s taken and mention she prefers women, that would be perfect. But, unfortunately, according to her, it doesn’t need to go that far. Maybe I should show her what it feels like to be hit on in front of your partner and not be able to do anything about it... My period is really messing with my emotions. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Lucy gave me a soft smile as she stepped ahead of Leah and me.

"Alright, we can head in now," announced my teacher once the groups were formed.

"Let’s go, and quietly," Lucy instructed when it was our turn.

Without resistance, the group obeyed. We entered, and to my surprise, the interior was quite welcoming. I had expected something much more industrial, given the environment. We were greeted by a man in his thirties. He spoke briefly with our teacher before giving an introduction. I realized he was the director. Given his age, it was likely a family business, and that’s exactly how he introduced it. Since some were already taking notes, I followed suit, fighting off the headache that was starting to form. I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the day. Lucy seemed to understand how I felt, but apart from a small, sympathetic smile, she couldn’t do much.

"Alright, now that the introductions are over, we’ll begin the tour."

I started to panic. I hadn’t written much compared to Leah’s notebook. She smiled at me and said she’d share her notes with me at the end of the day if I wanted.

"We’ve divided you into four groups. We’ll be exploring the different departments of the company. There’s the administration, the design office, the factory itself, and the logistics section."

I jotted down what he listed. Those would be the four key areas. Based on the questionnaire we had received, I began to understand much more. He wanted us to grasp the management aspects of a business.

"Each area is vital to the smooth running of a company, so it doesn’t matter in which order we visit them. I’ll personally be following one of the groups today. The others will be guided by my colleagues. I hope you enjoy the tour of my company."

You could really sense how proud he was of his business. I could easily see Lucy reacting the same way someday. She was about to join the other instructors, probably to decide which group would go where, but I stopped her.

"I think I need to use the restroom before we start all this..."

My stomach was still hurting, and the medicine hadn’t worked. She nodded.

"I’ll ask about it."

I watched as she walked off to speak with the director. And there was another man staring at her a bit too much. I’m really going to lose it with all these guys. 

"Still not feeling any better?"

"No," I sighed.

I glanced at Leah, who was fidgeting beside me, her hands stuffed into her pockets. I could tell something was bothering her. I was glad to be with her today. Since I started dating Lucy, she’d distanced himself, and I had to admit it hurt a little. She was one of the first I’d managed to befriend since I came here. She’s a really good person, even if she doesn’t believe it himself.

"Everything okay?"

"Not really... I feel bad."

"Why?"

"I wasn’t fair to you and your girlfriend."

"Oh... Leah..."

"I feel guilty for judging you too quickly. You two seem really solid, unlike what I thought."

I smiled softly. For her to admit her mistake, she must have given it a lot of thought. I was surprised, but happy at the same time. Maybe not all was lost. She really cared about our friendship after all.

"I don’t hold it against you, don’t worry."

"I was thinking, maybe we could plan something together, with her, sometime."

"Yeah, we could do something at the end of the year if you want. I don’t think she’ll be up for it before then."

She nodded understandingly. She finally dared to look at me after all that. She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes.

"Are you sure you’re okay? You really don’t look good."

I shook my head. I’d been trying to hide it, but I was on the verge of vomiting right there. I barely opened my mouth.

"Hey, Bronze," Leah called out. "She’s about to throw up."

Thank goodness she understood. Immediately alarmed, my girlfriend pulled me into the restroom. Luckily, the door was just behind us all along, and I hadn’t even noticed. She barely had time to open a stall and save my hair before I threw up my breakfast into the toilet. The scene felt like déjà vu. She sighed as she tied my hair back with a hair tie.

"Do you feel any better?"

I didn’t even have time to answer before it happened again. All Lucy could do was rub my back. I’d never been this sick before, and I was starting to wonder if it was really my period causing this.

"Okay... You can’t do the tour like this."

"Is everything alright in here?"

I sat on the bathroom floor as this voice echoed. I must have looked pathetic. Lucy grabbed some paper to wipe my mouth before flushing the toilet as she stood up. I looked over at the man I recognized as the director.

"No," Lucy answered. "She’s been feeling sick since this morning, and it seems to be getting worse."

My stomach was hurting so much I had tears in my eyes. I held it with my arms, but it didn’t help. I didn’t dare look at them either. I preferred to stare in the opposite direction to avoid them seeing me like this.

"It’s been decided that I’ll lead your group through the tour, so I suggest going ahead without you."

"I’m not sure that’s the best solution. Students can be difficult sometimes."

"Oh, I don’t doubt it," he laughed. "I have four kids and I run a business, so I don’t think six students are going to give me much trouble."

Hearing that, I noticed the wedding ring on his finger. I felt foolish for thinking he was eyeing Lucy earlier. Now that I saw him up close, he also seemed slightly older than I had initially thought. He looked to be in his thirties, but probably closer to forty.

"You can’t leave her alone, so take care of her. Maybe she’ll feel better, and you can join us later. We’re visiting two departments this morning, and then it’ll be time for lunch," he explained.

"I need to check with Mr. Johnson first."

"It’s already been arranged. He agreed to this."

"Alright... Well, thank you. Hopefully, we’ll join you later."

"My pleasure. Good luck," he said before leaving.

Once we were alone, Lucy crouched down in front of me again. I felt better, or at least relieved, but my stomach pain wasn’t going away. Lucy gently cupped my face.

"Are you sure it’s your period? This seems a bit extreme."

I shrugged. I wasn’t sure anymore.

- "The pain isn't just in my lower stomach..." I admitted after noticing it.

- "Alright," she murmurs. "I'll call the school. Maybe you’ve eaten something that didn't sit well, and if that's the case, you’re probably not the only one."

- "I had the same thing as usual," I complained.

- "I know, but you never know. I'll be right back."

She kissed the top of my head before leaving to ask for a phone. Apparently, she didn’t have hers. I groaned when she left. Judging by the silence, I assumed the others had already left the lobby. Something like this always has to happen to me, especially during my only class trip. I'd pay good money just to get a hug from Lucy right now. I waited a while, and during that time, my stomach continued to rumble. Maybe she was right. It probably wasn’t just my period causing this. It felt like hours passed before she finally returned.

- "Did you have hot chocolate this morning?" she asked.

What kind of question was that? Of course, I had. I nodded.

- "Well, looks like we have our answer. The milk was expired. They forgot to check the date. Didn’t you notice anything odd about the taste?"

- "N-no."

Since I usually dunk my pastry in it, I hadn't noticed anything strange. I groaned again as the pain persisted. Lucy sighed and sat down next to me. I wasted no time collapsing into her. She chuckled, wrapping her arms around me, and I sighed in contentment. I had been waiting for this moment. She kissed my forehead again.

- "You’re burning up. Looks like you’re in for a rough day, poor thing."

- "It’s not so bad, since you're here with me."

She chuckled softly, tightening her embrace.

- "For once, you’re being optimistic…"

I nudged her playfully in the stomach, making her laugh. I could stay here for hours. Of course, she had to shatter my hopes.

- "Come on, we can't stay here. The ladies at reception offered us a room to rest in."

- "No... I'm fine right here," I mumbled.

- "Come on," she teased. "We’re not staying on the bathroom floor all day."

I groaned as she stood up, leaving me without anything to lean on. I had no choice but to stand, with her help. The only positive thing was that my nausea had passed by now. Lucy supported me as we walked to the reception area where two women stood behind the counter.

- "Is the room still available?" Lucy asked.

- "Yes, of course. I’ll open it for you," said the younger woman.

She stood up immediately, offering me a small smile that I struggled to return. She led us to a door opening into a large conference room.

- "Feel free to ask if you need anything."

- "You’ve already done a lot. Thank you."

She nodded and left us alone. Lucy guided me inside and closed the door behind us. At least we’d have some privacy.

- "Alright, lie down for a bit. It’ll help."

She made a makeshift bed by lining up several chairs in a row.

- "Come on."

I sighed but complied. I took my time, a bit afraid of the setup's sturdiness, but once I lay across the chairs, I realized it wasn't too bad. Lucy even gave me her scarf as a pillow. She couldn’t have picked anything better—I could still smell her scent this way. She then covered me with her jacket. I felt like I was freezing, but Lucy said it was due to the fever.

- "You’re staying, right?" I murmured.

- "Of course."

She pulled up a chair across from me and sat down. I smiled as she ran her hand through my hair to move it out of my face. I clung to her other hand, wanting to make sure she wouldn’t leave, though I knew she wouldn’t.

- "I love you," I murmured before drifting off to sleep.

Thursday, March 24; 12:10 PM 

I woke up to some commotion. Several voices stirred me from my deep sleep. I blinked a few times, trying to remember where I was. I hadn’t moved from the chairs. My first sight was Lucy, still sitting across from me, talking to someone I couldn’t make out. Our hands were no longer linked, and I soon understood why, recognizing the masculine voices in the room.

- "Looks like she’s waking up."

Lucy immediately turned her head toward me. She smiled as I stretched slowly, still gripping her scarf beneath me. Something felt off about the room, but I couldn’t place it.

- "How are you feeling?" she asked.

I shrugged, still groggy. I wasn’t sure how I felt yet. I thought my fever had broken since I wasn’t as cold as before.

- "Your classmates are having lunch. Are you hungry?"

A wave of disgust washed over me. Any mention of food made me nauseous right now. Lucy laughed at my expression, which must have been amusing.

- "Alright, I get it," she smiled softly. "But I’m hungry. So either you come with me, or someone else will stay here with you."

I groaned, trying to sit up. She quickly stopped my abrupt movements.

- "Take it easy," she teased. "I’m not going anywhere."

A cold draft hit me as I lost the warmth of her jacket. I slowly sat up and glanced around. Mr. Johnson was there with the company manager. I was glad they didn’t bombard me with questions. However, I noticed my teacher giving me a rather stern look, which I ignored. I ran my hand through my hair to smooth it down, shivering in the process.

- "Can I keep your jacket? It’s still so warm."

My voice cracked from disuse. Lucy nodded and helped me put it on to preserve the warmth. She also draped her large scarf over my shoulders like a shawl.

- "Alright, let’s go."

She guided me with a hand on my back. I ignored the men in the room, sensing that they understood this wasn’t the time to talk to me. Lucy must have filled them in before I woke up. We walked into another, larger conference room. The company had prepared sandwiches and muffins for lunch, which was nice of them. My classmates were gathered around the table, but Lucy led me to the far end, where the teachers were seated. I still felt a bit out of place, but I didn’t want to leave Lucy just yet.

- "Hey there," Ingrid greeted me. "You always get sick at the worst times, don’t you?" she teased gently.

I groaned in response. Lucy laughed as she pulled out a chair for me between the two of them. I sat down, gripping her scarf tightly around me.

- "Stop bothering her. She’s already grumpy enough."

- "Oops, sorry," Ingrid said with a playful grin. "Do you know what caused it?"

- "The milk this morning. Wiegman was furious. Several students got food poisoning."

- "Damn, that sucks for you," she said, patting my shoulder. "Though now we know you’re the only one still drinking hot chocolate in the morning. Maybe it’s time you switched to coffee," she joked.

I shrugged off her hand and rested my head on my arms on the table with a soft groan. Lucy chuckled, running her fingers through my hair.

- "She’s just kidding. Calm down."

I didn’t respond. They continued chatting, but I lost track of the conversation. I felt like I could fall asleep again in any position. However, Lucy didn’t give me the chance. She gently rubbed my thigh, discreetly keeping me awake.

- "Looks like someone won’t be feeling better this afternoon," Ingrid remarked.

- "No, it doesn’t seem like it."

- "Do you want to switch?" Ingrid offered. "I can stay with her if you want to do the factory tour."

I glanced over at Lucy. I didn’t want to keep her from the tour, but I’d rather have her stay with me. As if to reassure me, Lucy’s touch became more soothing.

- "No, it’s fine. I’ll stay with her."

- "Alright, as you wish," Ingrid didn’t insist.

I felt relieved. I love Ingrid, but she couldn’t replace Lucy’s presence. The break was brief. My class soon resumed the tour in their groups. I didn’t even get a chance to chat with my friends. I hope they don’t hold it against me for ignoring them during that short time. I’ll catch up with them once this is all over.

[rusty-gloinks]

is it normal to still feel guilty after apologizing??

[vampzity]

a distant memory | ateez

"i know you’re somewhere out there, somewhere far away." — talking to the moon, bruno mars

—✫ pairing: ateez x gn! reader

—✫ genre: angst, fluff??, ateez, one shot, ot8

—✫ synopsis: it’s been a year since the gang went their separate ways, however you can’t help but reminisce all the good times you shared. you constantly hope that one day, it’ll go back to normal again.

—✫ wc: 1.6k

[warnings]: mentions of scars, mentions of violence???, arguing, blood, accusations, yelling, cursing, name calling

—✫ a/n: i’m sorry in advance.. i seen these photos from the special and just felt a whole wave of nostalgia wash over me 🧎‍♀️

“.. and then we can all look through the photos again!”

You sighed heavily, going through the loads of videos and pictutes taken by the cam recorder. Every happy memory playing like a small scene from a movie in your head. No matter what you did, no matter how many times you watched these same videos, it never seemed to fill the empty void they once occupied in your heart.

It’s been a year since the incident, a hell of a year at that, and yet you still can’t seem to figure out where it all went wrong. Why such a tragic moment, broke the bond between you all.

“Y/n-ah! You walk so slow, let’s go!”

You smiled softly hearing Wooyoung teasing you. Even if it bugged you, you hated to admit that you missed someone bothering you every five minutes.

Seonghwa soon came into view, holding his own cam recorder toward yours. His soft laugh echoed through your ears as he made fun of you for recording him, even though he was doing it too. Jongho soon shoved Seonghwa out of the way, bringing his face up close to the camera as he sang to it jokingly.

“Does Jongho ever stop singing?!” Mingi teased.

It’s as if they’ve never left your heart. You looked onto your phone, seeing the groupchat still pinned on your messages. It was now a ghost town if a groupchat could even have one, and each member quietly made their way out of it. You however, chose to stay. So many memories, core memories, resided in that chat. From happy birthdays, to silly pictures that were sent amongst you all, to even the smallest moments of reassurance between members. You couldn’t just let all of that go, and you couldn’t let it go back then either.

However it pained you to see how easily the rest of them let it be. Were they even feeling the way that you were? How could they just up and leave after years of memories that were engraved into your heads.

The moonlight shone through your window. It was fuller today, just as it was that same time ago. You looked up at the moon, a few tears escaping your eyes.

Were they too, looking up at the same moon?

You felt crazy for thinking that any one of the boys missed not just you, but all of them as much as you did. You knew that somewhere out there, the boys were going on with their lives normally, having to carry the weight of that night with them just as you did.

Where did it all go wrong? Was it your fault? If you hadn’t stood against San like that, would you all have worked it out in the end? However, it wasn’t your fault. All you wanted was to stop the arguing, only for it to resort to violence.

You played with the cam recorder, holding it to your face as you sobbed. As much as you wanted to forget about that day, you knew you never could be able to. So many things reminded you of them, which then reminded you of that day. Scars you obtained from your fight with San still remained, even after they healed. Not even your body could forget.

“y/n-ah!”

You lifted your head, seeing the video turn to San as he waved to you. A smile stretched across his face as he grabbed the camera from you, turning it to face the both of you. You pouted at him as he kept it at a high angle, unable to take it from his hands.

“Sannie, give me that back!”

You jumped up to reach it, as all the other members sat around laughing with San. You stopped jumping and punched his arm softly, the boys chuckling around you.

“Ah, you guys suck!”

You sighed heavily, laying down on your bed as you closed your eyes. It’s as if every time you closed your eyes, that very night replayed in your head. No matter what you did to avoid thinking of it, you couldn’t get it to stop. No amount of therapy was helping for that.

☆flashback☆

“San stop!!”

Seonghwa pulled San away as you all stood there in shock. Mingi laid on the floor, hands still protecting his face. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, only because it’s never gotten to a point like this. There was never a thought that crossed your mind over the boys arguing so bad, that they’d get physical.

Yunho helped Mingi up, his face bruised and nose dripping blood from the attack. Tears escaped Yunho’s eyes as he realized how bad the situation was getting. However it wasn’t just him, you were all unsure of how to help.

It’s been ongoing for weeks, where random members would break out into arguments and it would sometimes get physical. The more arguments that ensued, the more distant everyone became.

“This is getting out of hand! What happened to all of you?!”

You looked at all the members in horror, tears streaming down your face as they looked away from you. Hongjoong walked up to you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he tried to offer you some comfort.

“All you ever do is fight with one another, and when things get too far, you guys just resort to violence!”

Wooyoung stood up, an annoyed look on his face as he looked toward the members. Bandages covered his hands and cheeks, reminding you of the fight between him and Jongho just last week.

“She’s right. We all can’t keep going on like this.”

San scoffed, crossing his arms in disbelief as he stood on the opposite side of the room. He rolled his eyes, soon walking up to you and Hongjoong.

“So what? You never seen a group fall apart before?”

His voice rushed through you like cold water, giving you chills as you felt mini to him. No matter how afraid you were getting of the boys and their acts of violence, you refused to let it overtake you. Let alone, be obvious that you were growing afraid of them.

“Shut up.” You mumbled, your eyes straying from him.

He crossed his arms, leaning his face down to you. You felt his breath hit your cheek, making the hairs on your skin stand up.

“Suck it up. You weren’t even apart of our group in the first place.”

The room went quiet. Whenever arguments broke out, you were always the one maintaining peace between the members. Who would’ve known that was only a matter of time before you too have had enough.

“Are you just going to keep being hardheaded?!” you yelled out, pushing him harshly.

“Don’t push me, y/n.” San snarled, his voice low and raspy.

Wooyoung looked over at San, eyebrows furrowed as he wondered what was going to happen. None of the members expected this, especially not from you. When it came to you, everyone had their guard up as they weren’t going to let you be the one who got hurt from them.

“How many times do I need to get this into your head?!” You continued to pushed at San, punching his chest as you cried out.

“All of you! You’re all idiots! Can’t we just stop fighting?!”

San took every hit you gave him, growing increasingly aggravated with you. Tears steamed down your face as you continued to punch at him, wishing for the boys who once promised to never let arguing get as bad as it was now.

“God, quit it!” San pushed you harshly, making you stumble to the ground and hit your head.

He got ontop of you, holding your arms over your head as you struggled out of his grasp. His nails dug into your skin as he glared at you with a rabid look. Hongjoong grabbed onto his back, desperately trying to pull him off of you as he yelled into your face. Wooyoung grabbed onto his arm, using all his weight to pull.

“You’re the reason our group went to shit, you know that?! If you haven’t came in here being all pissy and flirting with all the members— slap!“

With the help of Jongho, he pulled your hand out of San’s grip, allowing you to slap him across the face. Everyone around you froze for a second, seeing your face red from anger and embarrassment after San’s words. San rubbed his cheek, eyes narrowed at you. He grabbed onto your hair, pulling you toward him.

“San! Let them go!! Stop!!”

Yunho rushed over to you, pushing San off of you as the other members pulled him off. It was a bit scary how much stronger San could be when he was angry. Wooyoung and Jongho pulled San off of you as he tried hard to fight back. Yunho held you in his arms, sitting in shock at how San just reacted to you.

“You fucking tramp! This is all your fault!”

Everyone froze, unsure of what to say, as did you. San has lost his mind, everyone did in their own way, though it seemed the group was far from saving at this point. There wasn’t much any of you could do.

You watched as San grabbed his things, making his way out of your home and slamming the door behind him. Silence filled the room, as you all remained speechless. Yunho continued to hold you as small tears ran down your face. What did this mean for you guys now? Was the really just the end of the people you called home?

The people your cherished and loved dearly, were no longer with you, instead living on their own terms. A year later, and you still remained without your home.

☆end of flashback☆

a/n: IM SO SORRY FOR THIS PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. listening to Empty Box while writing the ending of this made it even worse 💔 i love that song so much.

taglist: @skzline @rvereri @evidive @xoxkii @vrtualsins

@sanslovesblog @dvrktvnnel @scarfac3 @honeyhwaaa @sundaybossanova

@kittykat-25 @losrpark @yyaurii @hwasddeongbyeoli @aestheticjoonie @interweab

@roomsofangel @mingtinysworld @minghaoslatina @vnessalau

[acewoo]

Jjk men Bf head-cannons

Note: pure fluff, Sfw Characters included: Gojo, Geto, and sukuna

Satoru Gojo

Gojo will send you tonssss of voice messages talking about literally anything. He’ll be on his couch laying down and he’ll send you a voice message about how the show he’s watching is so boring. “The female lead doesn’t even have any personality and is just there to make the male lead look good!” You’ll complain to him sometimes that he send too many of these voice messages but, he responds that it couldn’t be true because, you love the sound of his voice. (And to be fair you do listen to every one he sends.)

Gojo cannot cook for the life of him. Anytime you try to teach him something wrong will always happen. For example you tired showing him how to make spaghetti and meatballs which is simple enough, right? Wrong. Because Gojo, not only ended up burning the pasta (somehow which still boggles your mind to this day) but, the meatballs weren’t exactly balls… They were certainly meat, and they tasted like meatballs but… they were only shaped to say the least.

Gojo definitely spoils you. And anytime you try to tell him he's doing too much he’ll come up with an excuse for why buying you a 180.00 skirt was necessary. “Well I had to get it, it was the last one and it’d work perfectly for that Christmas party we're attending!” To clarify he was talking about, the Christmas party that was three months away. Of course in all fairness you wouldn't complain too much… It would look pretty nice on you.

Suguru Geto

Even the smallest gestures he does for you are full of thought. Whenever you're having a long day at work you'll usually text Geto about your frustrations. He's trying to be supportive as you rant and help you calm down. When you get home you’ll be welcome to a newly cleaned apartment and Geto in the kitchen finishing up making your favorite meal for dinner. When he sees your home he’ll immediately start talking to you “I’ll finish up here soon, how are you feeling?” The rest of night would end up being him taking care of you fully making you forget about work entirely.

This mf definitely remembers the small things within your relationship and he’ll remember things about you no one else will. For instance you disliked when people surprised you from behind. It wasn’t anything that majorly bugged you but, it made you feel uncomfortable. (Especially since you weren’t a huge fan of being touched) When Geto found this out when we you guys were out in public or hanging with a group of friends he’d always stay slightly behind you. When you questioned why he did this, he said it was so he could make sure no one will surprise you like that. Even though you insisted he didn’t have to he still did which you couldn’t help but love him even more for.

Sukuna

He’s possessive, like really possessive. (He swears he’s not though). Anytime your in public around people or not he’ll make it clear your his. Whether that’s an arm around your waist or being very intimate with you even if it’s not the most appropriate… Whenever it’s at places such as a club it’ll be even worse, not only will be touchy but his whole mind and body will be focused on you. (Even if he doesn’t realize it..) And that’s the thing he doesn’t realize he’s like that infact anytime you bring it up to him he swears you’re just overthinking things. Because, him, Sukuna being possessive over another person? Fucking ridicules. Totally not in denial.

One thing you wouldn’t expect from Sukuna would be him to be rather supportive of you and your decisions. Of course it wasn’t exactly the most traditional way people are supportive. But hey, it’s Sukuna nothing about him is ‘normal’. Sukuna is supportive in the way where you’ll feel insecure about wearing and he’ll give you a confused look. “Why the hell would yah not wear it?” Flushed you respond. “It makes me look bad like-“ “I don’t know what you’re on about I like how it looks on you so you’re wearing it.” And of course you weren’t going to argue with your bf so, you wear it. Throughout the day He’ll make comments about how good you look which make you blush. Of course it isn’t exactly the lovely dovey kind of comments but still.

[swampgallows]

,

they fucking killed dead my favorite yam guy and like i know i had my period of mourning about it and was very self-conscious for being in my thirties and that invested in a fictional character but the secondary blow of the lawsuit made things even more devastating and there really is just a giant crater of inspiration yawning in my soul now that is almost impossible to scab over. like they are literally never going to make content about him again. there will be crumbs in hearthstone if they dont soft-replace the warrior hero altogether with a more popular alt skin (rokara, varian [!!!], magni, etc.), and maybe in some far-flung return to yrel and the lightforged they might revisit “exarch hellscream”, but that wont be him. it’ll be his au half-brother at best. the character as i know him is dead, double dead, triple dead, permanently dead. defeated in siege, killed in wod, shattered into soul ash in sanctum. 

it would be easier if i had something to move on to, but like everything else in my life i have been fossilized in this same corroded rut for almost a fucking decade, spinning my bald wheels in nothing. in fact i thought i’d moved on from wow back in 2009 but went back to it in 2014 because i was backsliding even then, searching for something to lift me out of the rut. it feels like my entire life ive been a stalagmite in some forgotten fissure, a comedone marring the face of an earth, an aberration. a foreign body that should be removed. i am always between things, never enough or always too much. i was not supposed to make it this far. i am not supposed to be here. but i do not know where i am supposed to go, where i fit, where i’m free, where i belong. im a calcification of runoff, a byproduct, a thing of no inherent meaning beyond being a sedentary deposit from something that serves a purpose. not the moss on the stone but the brittle stone held in pieces by the moss, scaffolding for something more important. i am not even the kind of mineral that appreciates over time, no crusty exterior hiding a geode. even i am taken aback just now, about to describe myself as the buildup of filth at the edges of a tub; perhaps a bit too wallowing to outright say i am soap scum.

because of this, i am not sure how i am meant to move on aside from being wiped away when i am not even a thing that gathers dust but the gathered dust itself. as the years go on so does the layer of dead cells, hair, and bug droppings accumulate, crumpled flies in my eyes and cobwebs ropy with dust. “dust to dust”, but it is already here. it is already me.

i envy people who can hyperfixate on things, or even fall a little bit in love when they find something new. the anhedonia has overpowered me for much of my life. i used to interpret this as me having higher standards, which weaves directly into my stellar reputation for being “judgmental”, but i think said standards are so high because, like adhd, it has been a lifetime struggle to eke even the smallest enjoyment out of anything. so this one thing i had, i tore out the pages of his books and gnawed on the pulp, absorbed it into myself, gripped it with white knuckles and harpy talons and boa’s embrace to satiate me, wringing the tiniest drip of nourishment on my sandpaper tongue, only to now find ashes. a starving stupid husk moldering on a windowsill, baking in a shaft of sunlight in hopes of feeling warmth. burnt brittle dust in a haunted house, waiting to be swept away.

[f1nalboys]

Headcanons for a hung Male himbo!R getting into a relationship with Nancy Downs, not realizing she's got ulterior motives for him. Plus, she might be catching some feelings~

nancy downs my beloved <33333 the more nsfw parts are under the cut!!

WORD COUNT: 801

WARNINGS: nsfw, masc!amab!reader, nsfw below the cut, nancy being a sub hehe, dirty talk from reader's pov, unhealthy relationship, nancy doesn't know how to relationship </3

Oh Nancy is on you like a dog to a bone I’m serious

Something about a strong, hung, stupid guy just gets her going

She definitely gets into the relationship purely to use you, not because there’s a genuine connection

Maybe sexually, sure, but in the beginning she does not have any emotional feelings

But I think Nancy gets attached pretty easily, so the more time spent together the more she is going to fall for you.

It pisses her off when she realizes it because like,,,,, she is NOT supposed to like you >:(

And the fact that you’re just so god damn oblivious about both the reasoning behind her getting into a relationship with you, as well as her developing feelings, pisses her off more

She will start out being super lovey dovey, constantly touching you and kissing you, just kind of laying her claim. She’s not letting there be any room for you, or anyone else, to think that there's even the smallest possibility of her not liking you

But when she realizes that she ACTUALLY likes you???? Cold shoulder time babe <3

Obviously you don’t understand why; as far as you knew, things were great! She had started opening up to you, there were a handful of times where the two of you hung out and didn’t sleep together and still had a great time. Hell, you had told her that you loved her just last week and you don’t think someone could fake the smile she gave you.

It’ll take you bugging her a lot, and maybe even a week long break, before she just accepts it and tries to push through it

She doesn’t apologize for being cold to you even if she knows your feelings are hurt; it just isn’t something she’s willing to do

After she comes to accept her feelings for you, she’s going to become insanely possessive over you

Unhealthy possessiveness

But in turn she gets more giving in bed. Before this, she was really a ‘get me off and I'm going to bed’ type of girl, and there were plenty of times where you didn’t get to cum once during that night. Now she’s gonna pull at least two from you before she’s ready to stop

I also think this is where she’ll let you take the reins a bit more, y’know? In the beginning she’s super dominant during sex and very rarely wants you to do anything unless she tells you

But after she realizes that ugh, she loves you, she’s going to tell you that you have one chance to prove that you can handle that role so don’t fuck it up

She might cry; she’s just not used to being so vulnerable in front of someone especially when it comes to sex

Let’s all just imagine her laying in bed on her back, her legs spread and she just looks so fucking shy and nervous

And she tries to keep up that shit-talk she’s known for but when you finally touch her she shuts up and her face turns bright red

She doesn’t want to enjoy it as much as she does because she should be the one making the decisions but when you’re fucking her the way you are, when you’re bossing her around and looking at her the way you are??? It’s kind of hard not to love it

I swear it would be the hottest sight to see because not only is she giving you herself sexually in a way she never has, she’s also giving you a part of herself emotionally that no one has ever seen before

Expect lots of praise too, she’s gonna tell you how big you are, how you fuck her so well, how she loves you so fucking much

Yes this is the first time she says that she loves you hehe

Fuck her good!!!! This won't happen very often because, again, it’s emotionally draining for her but for you?? She’d be willing to do it again hehe

She will go down on you for hours if that’s what you want from her tbh

If you boss her around, tell her to get on her knees and suck your cock like a good slut, she’s going to get so fucking hot

She loves when you talk down to her like that. Like, loves it. And if you tell her she’s not allowed to touch herself until you tell her so? That she needs to milk your cock for all it’s worth first and then you’ll think about letting her touch herself??

Could get her to cum from just the dirty talk itself, maybe if you pull at her nipples a bit. Don’t even have to touch that needy pussy of hers

She’s perfect and I’m in love with her

[solaeter]

Dating Him - Gojo Satoru

I plan to do dating headcanons for most of the jjk characters, I’m pretty slow though so it’ll take a bit to get through them all lmao. Hope you enjoy!!

Warning[s]: None aside from possible errors I’m too lazy to look for

Request Status: Open

↠ Dating Satoru Gojo kind of came out of the blue? He claimed he never wanted to fall in love, or that he didn’t have the time. With you though, Satoru fell flat on his face and sought you out, hoping to whatever gods are out there that you’d give him a chance. To his luck, you fell too. He is over the moon to be honest. The love bug slapped him out of nowhere and now that he has you, his heart is sealed.

↠ The one downside to dating the strongest sorcerer is that Satoru doesn’t have a lot of free time. He’s always doing this or that, running around who knows where. He always makes sure to call you though, it’s like a night time routine if he’s away from home. Granted it’s not at the same time every night, but you will most definitely hear from him. Satoru always has the sweetest words for you too and he’ll follow up with teases about how you’re already so flustered. What a bastard.

When he returns home, expect gifts. Small or big, it just depends on what reminds him of you 💙.

↠ This man is very touchy with a side of clinginess. Around you, Satoru drops his Infinity and embraces the close contact as if he were touch starved. When you two are out and about, his hands are always on you, whether it be on the small of your back or holding your own. He just can’t get over how your touch feels against his skin. Boy it drives him crazy.

Now if someone were to be talking to you, Satoru would wrap his arms around your frame and keep you close to his front. Not that he’s jealous or anything, but he gets a kick out of seeing the other person look away or make some excuse to leave. Satoru will only give you a half assed apology if you scold him 🙄.

↠ Satoru, the king of cuddles. Big spoon or little spoon, he’s just happy to have you near him. After a long day of dealing with the same endless bullshit, you’re his favorite source of comfort besides indulging in sweet treats. He’ll be dramatic too, kicking his shoes off and sighing loudly just to get your attention.

“You okay there?” You’d have this questioning look while he flings his blindfold to the side and plops on you, quite literally taking your breath away as his face nuzzles in your neck and arms snake around you.

“Now I am.”

Good for you buddy, thanks for the almost total knockout 😫.

↠ Arguments with Satoru usually deal with something stupid he's done. Sometimes he's insensitive and strikes a nerve in you that has him scratching his head when you won't talk to him. He doesn't mind conflict, he's used to it. But that doesn't mean he enjoys it with you. Quite the opposite really. He'll give you space, maybe not for a long time though because he would rather fix the issue there instead of having it linger. The last thing he wants is to lose you somehow, so expect a whirlwind of sweet words and genuine apologies. 

"You know I love you right?" 

Good lord he can act like a little scuffle is the end of it all. Though he can't help it considering all he's lost, Satoru has learned to express his feelings before it's too late. Even on the smallest of issues. 

↠ Danger, what is it? Something you never have to worry about with Satoru always breathing down your neck. The man is hyper aware of his surroundings at all times and is even more so when you're out with him, especially if you're not a sorcerer. If someone suspicious catches his eye, Satoru will lead you the opposite way to avoid any potential problems. He can't bear the thought of something happening to you. 

Now if you were to get hurt when Satoru wasn't around, rest assured whatever inflicted harm on you won't live to see another day. Then you'll have to deal with his guilt of not being there for you when you needed him. Satoru will curse work and every damned higher official just because they tore him away from you. Plus you get to put up with Satoru taking care of you. So expect to never get out of bed and if you try, you'll be scolded. 

"I can walk, you know." 

"Uh no, get back in bed. You need to rest, I'll get you whatever you need."

↠ if there's one thing Satoru loves more than fucking making you smile, it's listening to you talk about your day. He's a busy man, so he doesn't know what goes on during your daily routines and activities. To have that chance to sit down in front of the television with the volume low and you nestled against his side talking about anything and everything, goodness he loves it. Your voice is his favorite sound, it brings him immense peace having you right there rambling away. 

"Tell me everything baby, I've missed your voice all day." 

He's so sappy with you, but that's just how Satoru is. He loves you so much, more than he ever anticipated and makes it his mission to make sure you know just how much you mean to him 🥺.

Masterlist

[aliwritesss]

~ Labyrinth

Pairings: Eric x reader

Genre: fuckboy au!

Warnings: angst, slightly suggestive, slow burn, swearing

Based on this AU! Highly recommended to read it before you start the series, but can be read alone.

1/? Masterlist

-“… And remember! The deadline for the essay is in three weeks.”- You hear your History teacher’s voice but no one listens to him. The bell just ringed and that meant freedom.

-“ It’s Friday!!! Let’s do something fun.” You hear Kevin’s voice next to you. You thank the heavens and stars to have him in your life, you don’t know what you would have done without him all this time.

-“ What are you thinking?”

-“ Well… You know, everyone’s been on the edge these past months with the exams and all. So Juyeon thought I’d be fun to do a small gathering, only close friends.” He says with the smallest voice and you feel all your body tense up. If you knew one thing is that you couldn’t go to parties, not yet. Not when it’s been so long since you’ve seen him and you’re actually starting to move on. To wake up and not think of him.

-“ It sounds fun! But I think I’m gonna pass this time, I better start working on this assignment.”

-“ Cmon (Y/N), it’s been a month. You gotta go to your old self, I miss you. I miss us having fun.” It pains your heart to hear Kevin, you’d love to have the balls to go to their dorms and be yourself, to dance again till you can’t stand up, to laugh freely but you feel that the spark inside of you has died and you’re afraid that if you go, it won’t light up anymore.

-“ I promise you I’ll go back to my old self. You’ll get back your partner in crime, my little moon.” You say hugging him and exiting the class. -“ Just give me a little bit and you’ll get back your star.”

-“ The world better get ready once the moon and star duo comes back.” He says giving you one of his best smiles and you feel a little bit better. You’ve known him for so long and clicked since then. One day you two were in class and someone said you looked like the team rocket from Pokémon, always together being mischievous. And since then you baptized your friendship as the moon and star duo.

As you walk outside you feel his comment nag you in the back of your head. “Why do I have to feel so bad when he’s doing fine? Was everything a lie? Did he truly love me?” These thoughts have been bugging you lately and you’re starting to get annoyed. You thought you were doing fine but sometimes these dark clouds will come and shake you down. And it seems like today was one of these days.

“ So… Juyeon is doing a gathering huh? Do you realize that it means half of the campus is going, right?”

-“ Yeah… We told him only close people and Changmin said that meant around 50 friends.” He says, rolling his eyes. -“ Thank god we have Sangyeon and Jacob to keep him in check or else It’d be a nightmare.” And that makes you laugh because it’s true, you remember one night you were staying the night in their dorms and suddenly Sunwoo and Chanhee started arguing about the smallest thing. Sangyeon only needed to look at them to make them stop. It was so funny, you don’t want to mess with an angry Sangyeon to be honest.

-“ And… Here we go. I knew it.” You hear Kevin’s annoyed voice. -“ They’re asking me to buy drinks, it seems like more people are coming tonight. I have to go now bubs, but we should do something fun this weekend okay? Just the two of us.” He says while hugging you and you nod. Maybe that’s what you need, to start slowly coming out of your cave.

You start making your way to your dorm thinking about the million things you have to get done in these two weeks and you can feel your anxiety already coming. The pressure you’ve been feeling these past few days it’s getting worse everyday. And the worst of it, it’s that you don’t have anyone to talk about it. Unconsciously, you touch your necklace, feeling a little bit better. You look down to the tiny shiny star and remember the night he gave it to you.

-“ I’ll be your star, ready to guide you even in the darkest times, even when there’s no moon shining.” He said softly in your neck. You smiled at him and looked at the charm. It was a little star filled with crystals. Stunning.

-“ When you feel like giving up, remember that I’ll be here with you. Faintly.” Eric said, touching your necklace.

“Where are you now? Where are you now when I need you the most?” You think for yourself, It’s not like you weren’t starting to move on from him, which you are doing. But you were not forgetting him, and you wish you could.

You wish you could erase all these sweet moments, act like nothing happened. Act like him, cold and unbothered. Why did him have to play you? Was everything a lie? Everything he said, was just a trap to only have fun with you? You couldn’t trust your memories, it seems like you only could remember the good ones.

But what about that night you two had a fight on a party because he was with this girl, laughing and talking the whole night while you were alone? You still remember his words: “ Stop being a pain in the ass, if I wanted to hook up with her dont you think I would have already done it?”. And you being a silly naive girl in love, acted like it didn’t hurt you. Like he didnt had the power to destroy you in matter of seconds if he wanted.

And that was the reason you broke up with him.

Everyone knew you were his girl and god forbid anyone who dared to touch you. But that’s it, you were only that, his girl. He didn’t bother to put a label, you were there for him and that was enough.

-“ Eric what are we doing?”- You asked him the night you two broke up.

-“ What do you mean?”-

-“ What are we doing together? What is this? Are we exclusive? Are we truly in a relationship?”- You asked trembling, you weren’t ready to hear his answer.

-“ Not this again (Y/N). I told you I don’t want to talk about it and you keep bringing this up. I said you are my girl and that should be enough.”-

-“ But it isn’t. It isn’t when there’s a queue of girls waiting for you to get tired of me and drop me like a toy. And I had enough, I need to know what I am to you.” You said sitting in his bed.

-“ You are making me tired with all these questions. I said drop it, (Y/N). You know how I am and still chose to be here with me.”-

-“ I chose you bc you said that you couldn’t do this without me, Eric! You told me that I was special and-.”

-“ So? That gives you the right to be called my girlfriend?”- And that was the last straw. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, it’s like someone snapped you back to reality. Like you just woke up from a beautiful dream and got hit with the true world.

He loved you, but not in the right way.

He cared about you, but not enough.

You got dressed and started to pick yoiur things while crying. You needed to get out as soon as possible, even if it was 3 in the morning.

-“Cmon (Y/N) don’t be like this. I got mad and you know I say things I regret later. Please let’s talk in the morning when we are calm, okay? Babe please-“

-“ Don’t touch me, Eric. I’ve had enough. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep falling in love with you more and more when we are not in the same page. Not even in the same book.”- You said putting on your sweatshirt, well, his sweatshirt now yours.

-“ Are you serious? Are you going to be like this? After all we’ve been through?”-

-“ Exactly, after all we’ve been through you still think I don’t deserve to be your girlfriend. And let me correct you, you’re the one who doesn’t deserve to be my boyfriend. I’m tired of your shit.”

-“ I know you’re angry (Y/N) but I swear if you leave this room that’s it.”- He said staring at you. You gave him one last smile and closed the door. It was so late at night and you decided to bring this topic up… That was a stupid move of you to be honest, but it needed to be done.

You can feel your vision getting blurry with all the tears falling but you don’t care anymore.

-“ Star? Is everything ok?”- you feel Kevin’s sleepy voice coming from the other side of the hallway and you let out a sob. -“ Hey, Hey. What happened bubs? Why are you crying? Where’s Eric?”-

-“ I… I- I think we just broke up.” You said hugging him and starting to sob even harder.

- “ Oh gosh…” He said quietly while stroking your hair.

And after that everything was a blur, you only remember him and Haknyeon taking you to your dorm and sleeping there. Everyone knew what happened because they heard you two arguing but no one could bring the topic up. It was typical of you two to argue, but in a matter of hours everything was cleared. But this time was different and both of you knew it.

This time the damage was done and there was no going back now.

A/N: So it’s finally here!! The first chapter of this little series. Thanks to all of you for liking so much the AU and for telling me what you preferred to see on this series. It’ll be after the break up, but I thought it’d be nice to have a little context of why did the discussion happen and to see the dynamic of the relationship. Honestly speaking, I love Eric’s fuckboy vibes so much.. But still it pains me to see him acting this way :( I apologise for any typo or mistake! And remember you can ask in the comments or dms to be tagged and that requests are open!!

TAGLIST: @asherbl @fairycob @givememunjang

[maatryoshkaa]

merry christmas, kiss my a** | lee minho [teaser]

✒︎ in which both you and minho get dumped by your partners on christmas eve, run into each other on christmas day, and begin to find yourselves grudgingly confronting all the reasons that made you enemies in the first place.

ryu says: i can explain the title—i wrote out the plot while listening to “merry christmas, kiss my ass” by all time low 🤡

genre: enemies to lovers, college!au, holiday!au, fluff, drama, romcom, all that good stuff--and a pinch of angst if you move your bang to read it again. 

tags/warnings: fratboy!minho is your typical playboy asshole, perfect student!reader is all business and no-nonsense, mild profanity, mentions of drugs/marijuana/alcohol and addiction, unsafe frat parties (never let go of your drinks, guys), slightly (?) suggestive, but more chaotic than anything, some unhealthy relationships, reader and minho have bad blood, a long history paved with misunderstandings, and lots of unpacking to do.

length of excerpt: 1.6k

With the remnants of a ruthless migraine still wrenching your skull, you pried your eyes open. A weak groan left your dry lips, muffled by a mouthful of fabric. As you came to—brain feeling like jelly sloshing around in your head—you realised you were lying nearly face-down on a queen-sized bed, white comforters tangled around your very sore body. Bright sunlight was filtering in from a window somewhere, and you vaguely registered a green velvet couch sitting in the corner. Frowning, you tried to roll onto your side—and came face-to-face with the yellow eyes of a ginger cat.

You didn’t own a cat. Or a green couch, for that matter. Blinking in confused unison with the feline, you looked around the room—just as the bathroom door swung open, and a very naked Minho stepped out from the wisps of steam.

You screamed, scrambling back on the bed, and grabbed for the first solid object your hands could find—a rusted candelabra on the nightstand. Brandishing it at Minho in horror, you stammered, “Did I—did you—did we—”

Minho looked just as bewildered as you, one hand shooting up as if in surrender. With a yowl, the ginger cat leapt onto the green couch, but neither of you spared it a glance. Minho’s other hand, you realised, was gripping the towel wrapped around his waist as if his life depended on it. Okay, so he wasn’t naked—thank heavens—but that did nothing to stop the sour panic steadily rising in your throat. His gesture sent a vague memory rippling through your muddled mind. That’s right. Last night—the Christmas party at Changbin’s fraternity. You had bumped into Minho, just your rotten luck—the boy you’d despised since high school, and under the mistletoe, to boot. Your mind flashed back to how you’d furiously chugged the drink a frat boy had handed you to fill in the awkwardness, and had desperately tried to eject yourself from the conversation.

Then police sirens had sounded throughout the frat house, students scrambling like cockroaches and hurriedly hiding their marijuana—and that was the last thing you remembered before you had blacked out entirely.

You turned back towards Minho, one hand clamped over your eyes and the other around the candelabra. Two more cats had slinked out from under the bed—a tabby, and another ginger—and were joining the first one in watching the commotion. You put two and two together, voice growing shrill. “Did you—drug my drink, Lee Minho?”

He sputtered, and you could almost imagine his eyes bugging out. “Did I—” he raked a hand through his wet hair, composing himself. “I thought you took something—you were out cold the second you finished your drink.”

Fragments of the night before were slowly returning to you, and with increasing dread you recalled the solo cup you had taken without looking twice, the frat boy who had winked at you with a greasy smile.

“I think you got roofied, princess,” came Minho’s voice, surprisingly gentle.

“Don’t call me princess,” you snapped back automatically, but grudgingly lowered the candelabra. Cautious, you peered through your fingers, and immediately regretted it when you were met with Minho’s shit-eating smirk agaain.

“Not gonna lie, it took me by surprise. Since when did you become a party girl, showing up to Changbin’s parties?” He reached back into the bathroom, ruffling his damp hair with a smaller towel. “Here I was, thinking you’ve changed.”

“Yeah, well, you clearly haven’t,” you shot back coldly, counting off your fingers with a biting laugh. “Treating people like your personal toys or stepping stones. Messing around with multiple girls a night. Drinking like there’s no tomorrow.” 

If your words stung Minho, he certainly didn’t show it—only raising his eyebrows in that way that had infuriated you for as long as you’d known. The typical Lee Minho look of nonchalant contempt, spiked with a shot of amusement to give the impression that he didn’t give a single damn. You hadn’t run into him since—well, since that incident back in high school, and the memories his mere expressions could still rouse made your skin crawl.

Minho watched you curiously—sheets still wrapped around you like makeshift battle armour, your hand wielding the candelabra he’d thrifted from a garage sale, Rapunzel-style—and he had to fight the genuine smile tugging at his sneer. His chest felt...funny, fluttery, even, and not in the gut-wrenching, hangover way he had grown so used to. He almost wished it was, because this new feeling made it seem as though the ground had suddenly been ripped out from under his feet, and that terrified him.

The party. Some snitch had called the cops on them, and that had promptly shut the party down. The flood of panicked students evacuating had shoved Minho flush against the wall, and you flush against his chest. When he hadn’t felt you shoving him away immediately, Minho had almost felt his heart swell with a strange, terrifying shred of hope—until, upon closer look, he had noticed that your entire body had gone limp, glass empty and eyes fluttering shut. 

Panicking, Minho had carried you out of the house, clawing out of the sea of elbows and overheated limbs until he had reached the main road. Mind racing, he had fished his phone from his pocket and called the only mutual acquaintance the two of you had—your boyfriend.

But when Minho had explained what had happened—hey, uh, your girlfriend’s out cold at Changbin’s party, so you might want to come pick her up—Taehyun had scoffed, a harsh bark of laughter that had made Minho’s ears hurt. 

“Yeah? The hell’s it to me? That bitch’s your problem now.”

Before Minho could choke out a surprised reply, Taehyun had hung up. 

Trouble in paradise? He had thought to himself amusedly, before remembering his own situation. Then, the fact that he had no idea where you lived, and he couldn’t very well leave you, unconscious, out on the street. In the end, he had brought you to his last resort—his apartment. 

Carefully stepping over the trail of shattered ornaments his ex-girlfriend had left behind during their fight, Minho had lowered you onto the couch—then, with a second thought and a deep sigh, he’d lifted you onto the bed, tucking the white comforter over your slack body. Sipping a hangover concoction, he’d stood over your sleeping figure contemplatively, a mix of bemusement and worry churning in his gut, before deciding he was probably being mildly creepy and collapsing for the night on the velvet couch. 

“Look,” Minho began, shaking his head as though clearing his thoughts and turning his attention back on you, “I know what you’re probably thinking, but I—we—didn’t—do anything. You were out cold last night.”

Hands shaking, you peeled back the covers—and the smallest sigh of relief left your tightened chest when you saw that you were still wearing the same jeans and top as last night—albeit creased, stained, and reeking of marijuana and booze, but completely intact. The next moment, though, a wave of anxiety washed over you and you clutched the sheets closer, fingers trembling. Someone had still slipped something into your drink at that party. And if the party hadn’t come to a screeching halt—no, you realised, with an inward groan of frustration, if your sworn enemy hadn’t been there, there was no telling how much worse things could have gone. 

The thought made you shudder, panicked tears pricking at your sore eyes. Damn it ll. Here you were, sitting in Lee Minho’s bed, of all people—about to cry in front of him while he watched. Your humiliation—a belated Christmas present for him, no doubt. 

But when you glanced at his face, you were startled at the expression on his face. It was unfamiliar—not exactly condescending, or vicious, or even mildly smug. His lips—rosy from the hot shower—were pressed together slightly, eyebrows almost knitting together in a frown. 

Maybe he was holding back laughter?

Minho’s eyes had caught the way your lips had begun to tremble as you curled in on yourself, and had instinctively moved forward before freezing. What could he do? Give you a hug? He was sure he would end up with a candlestick in his eye if he tried. Comfort you? The words seemed to dissolve to sand on his tongue. He cursed himself silently. Words and actions came so easily with all the other girls—endless sweet talk and flirting, until he had them wrapped around his finger. With you—even after all these years—he was left frozen, mind blank, and only that damned feeling in his chest.

“She’s not yours,” came Changbin’s voice from the previous night, ringing in his ears.

“I know,” he had replied. But why did acknowledging it feel like ripping a Band-Aid off of a nearly-healed wound? Like he had reopened the scar, along with all its pain once again? 

Maybe it was because after all these years, Minho still clung onto the hope that you would hear him out, just once.

Gesturing helplessly, he found himself offering the only sort of comfort he seemed to know how to. “Do you want—uh...some wine? The fridge’s empty, and maybe it’ll calm your nerves a bit.” He tilted his head when you didn’t reply, trying to get a glimpse of your face. “Do we need wine?”

Forgetting momentarily that he was nearly naked, you lifted a withering, exasperated gaze at him, getting an eyeful of his bare chest before yelping and burying your face in the covers again. “No. You know what—I need wine—you need to put some damn pants on.”

You could hear his devilish grin return to his voice then, even through the covers. “But life is so freeing without them.”

“Pants. On. Now.”

to be continued

[kaminobiwan]

cannonball

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x jedi!reader

summary: Throwing all caution out the window, Obi-Wan dives headfirst into a long awaited confession. At least, he tries to. The universe seems to leave an obstacle for him at every turn, but Obi-Wan is nothing if not persistent.

a/n: Oh my goodness, this has got to be my proudest piece. It was one of the victims of the incident™ and I had to rewrite the whole thing from scratch, but I actually think the final version came out better than the original! The title is inspired from the summary of my previous fic Indulgence, but this one is actually the cornerstone of all of my jedi!reader x Obi-Wan fics: every one of those has stemmed from this storyline idea that has been living in my head for so long. Suffice it to say this is THE fic that I have wanted to write from the beginning — my pièce de résistance, if you will.

I hope you enjoy :-) p.s. here's my taglist form

In all the years he’s known you, Obi-Wan swears he only ever started to lie to you during the Clone Wars.

In his defense, he’d been lying to himself, too. Forcibly crushing down his much-deeper-than-platonic favor for you in the hopes that it’d disappear, forgotten in his darkest recesses, was exhausting in more ways than one. One’s mind can only be dishonest with the heart for so long.

But after more than a year and a half into the fighting, he’d felt too many times the choking fear that he’d never see you again — be it because of his death or yours.

So he’d given up in repressing his emotions, and let himself feel. In the precious minutes of reprieve amidst the horrors of combat, sometimes the only thing that could console his jaded and war-torn soul was the memory of you.

He wonders how he managed to continue for as long as he did before allowing himself to consciously love — it was well into the conflict when he came to terms with it. If he closes his eyes, he can easily remember the exact moment.

Geonosis. His return to the forsaken planet.

The chaos of it all had been staggering. He’d barely been able to hear Cody’s warning before he was shot out of the sky, and the crash that claimed the lives of nearly everyone in the transport had been just the beginning of the hellscape he’d endured.

There was an instant where he’d been sure he was going to die on the field, seconds before the remainder of his battalion was about to be overrun.

He remembers the gunfire surrounding him, piercing the falling bodies of his men as he laid helpless and injured. Cody’s shouting amidst the mayhem. The stabbing pain of his ribs that had blackened the edges of his vision. The dirt that had caked his face and armor. The sheer amount of it had been maddening.

And yet, as the bugs had closed in around him and he’d forced himself to his feet to meet his imminent end, the only thing that had run through his mind was...you.

Your name, your face. The dissatisfaction at the fact that the last time he’d seen it, it’d been distorted, static and blue from the holo you’d shared with Master Unduli. The way you’d hidden a smile as she interrupted his competitive jeering with Anakin ahead of the battle.

At least he’d made you laugh, he’d thought, and with that, he’d ignited his lightsaber.

And then the reinforcements had come. And he’d been left to sink back down on shaking knees with the image of you burning in his brain until the concerned presence of Ahsoka materialized at his side.

He hadn’t had any time to process the stunning realization that he was in love with you. He’d scarcely had a second to gather himself before he was already spouting a revised attack plan to take the droid factory, reverting to autopilot the way he always did when he assumed his identity as a war general.

But the universe had seemed intent on not letting him escape it, regardless. Just days later, he’d saved your life — you’d arrived at Point Rain with Luminara only to be taken by the Geonosian queen to be turned into a mindless, shivering zombie.

“I still haven’t forgiven you for that, you know.” You’d chirped, while tapping his nose teasingly.

“What? The stunt with the worms? You know I wouldn’t have actually let it go up your nose.”

“No, for disobeying an order to fall back and leave us behind.”

His heart had clenched at your words. Never in a million years would he abandon you if he thought there was the smallest chance of saving you. He knew that, finally.

But the fear of losing the only life he’d ever known outweighed the fear of losing you, and he’d settled with yearning for you from afar. It would be enough, he’d convinced himself. He refused to burden you with the knowledge that he’d been pining helplessly for you for Force knows how long, and ruin the careers in the Order you’d both worked so hard to construct.

That was, until now.

Until he’d seen Satine Kryze again, after decades apart, and she’d declared her surviving affection for him from all those years ago, Anakin witnessing the whole thing. After he’d seen the weight of her unspoken truth upon her shoulders. And although he regretted that he couldn’t grant her the relief from her wanting, he’d resolved that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his days the same way — slowly being crushed by his own supression. Even if his feelings were unrequited.

So he’d decided that he’d tell you, Jedi Code be damned. He wouldn’t hold it in any longer.

As the Coronet docked on the landing pad where the Chancellor was waiting, he’d been jittery with anticipation. That, and disoriented from the events that had transpired on the way there. He’d blubbered uncharacteristically when Satine had caressed his face in farewell, Anakin watching delightedly at his back. Then, as he’d turned to find a speeder to make his way to you in the Temple, the universe had yet again toyed with him — you were there, appearing on the platform out of nowhere like a summoned spirit, but not making your way towards him.

No, you were walking straight towards Satine.

You didn’t seem to notice him or Anakin behind you, welcoming the Duchess with practiced cordiality and leading her to the airbus where the other Senators were boarding, glaringly obvious that you’d been assigned on escort duty. Obi-Wan held back a groan. Of all the Jedi.

Anakin had practically collapsed in hilarity, a hand heavy on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “The Force works in mysterious ways, Master,” he crowed. “I finally get that one.”

———

You’re perched high up on a viewing balcony of the Senate Chamber when he finds you, a little before Satine is set to address the Republic.

“You’re certainly off your game today,” you exhale an amused laugh as he skids to a stop, attempting to compose his appearance as he approaches you. “Anakin told me all about what happened on the Coronet en route to Coruscant.”

His blasted Padawan. Obi-Wan could strangle him.

“I didn’t teach him to gossip,” he grumbles, coming to stand beside you. He'd run the whole way here to catch you, but his rapid heartbeat isn’t from physical exertion. You’re as tranquil as ever, though, and your presence relaxes him despite.

You give a snort. “Maybe not intentionally. He definitely learned how to operate outside the lines of the Code by watching you.” He knows you’re poking fun at him, but his breath catches at the mention of the doctrine that dictates you both.

But he’s set on telling you. Today.

“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about something similar.”

You turn to the Chancellor’s podium as his voice reverberates through the hall, but Obi-Wan’s hearing is fixed on you. “Of course, Obi, but it’ll have to wait until later. I think your friend is about to speak.”

He opens his mouth to reply, to bring your attention back to him, but you’re focused on the proceedings. He doesn’t like the jovial way you say friend, as if you’re almost happy about it, but he forces his gaze to follow yours as Satine begins her address.

Which, of course, goes terribly wrong. Because nothing seems to want to work out today.

Even your usually optimistic features are set with a grim expression as a testimonial from Satine’s own Deputy Minister slights her leadership, and the Senate turns against her. As her repulsorpod retreats from the center of the chamber, you cast concerned eyes towards him.

“Go,” you urge him, and he’s frozen between staying or leaving. “She needs you. I’ll buy you some time with the security detail.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t want to depart from your side, words hanging on the tip of his tongue, but he knows you’re right. He nods at you gratefully before chasing after Satine.

———

He tries again in the evening, while you’re between shifts of guarding the Duchess’ guest quarters.

“She seems...interesting,” you nod to the Mandalorian guard that passes by to take your post, speaking low enough that your conversation is relatively private. “She certainly had much to say about you.”

Obi-Wan wanted to scream. It seems everyone had been able to get you alone except for him. “I told you about that year on Mandalore after I came back,” he protests, and you shoot him a pitiful wink.

“Not the way she described it.”

Before he can demand just what Satine had let on, the sound of rapid footfalls draws both of your attention to the guard you’d greeted earlier. “Master Jedi! The Duchess is gone. We don’t know for how long.”

You curse lightly and rush down the hall to follow the Mandalorian, and Obi-Wan is about to do the same when his comm buzzes on his wrist.

He sighs in frustration. He knows exactly who it is.

———

After he’d relayed the untampered evidence to Padmé in time for the Senate convocation and Satine had been released from custody, Obi-Wan makes his way to your quarters in a determined stride. The past couple days were nothing short of a wild Bantha ride from start to finish, and he was tired of tiptoeing around you.

As he raises a shaking hand to knock outside your room, he stalls in a moment of fleeting hesitation. The impending metamorphose of your relationship nags at his brain, and he pauses. What he’s about to do will indelibly transform the dynamic between you, for better or for worse. It dawns on him that there won’t be any going back from this.

He hears your voice from a distant memory of late nights in the Temple gardens, basking in the light of the stars. Of course everything will change. Nothing can stop that.

So be it.

He stands as tall as he can manage, and knocks resolutely.

You open the door looking ready for bed, clad in a billowing camisole, face dewy from the refresher and hair still damp. He smiles at you as you open it wider. “Hello, Obi.”

He shuffles inside, meekly nodding in apology of his interruption. “I thought I’d come see you.”

Like routine, you’re already heating up a pot of water for him as you search for his favorite tea in your cupboard. Ever so thoughtful. His heart flutters beneath his robes. “I’m glad to see you found the Duchess,” you chime lightheartedly, “I had a hunch when you disappeared earlier.”

His hand finds the back of his neck. “I hope I didn’t make you look too bad, being on protection and all.”

You shake your head dismissively. “I was just glad to hear she was safe. You helped save her people from Republic occupation.”

Altruistic honesty radiates off of you, and his chest drops, in a good way. You care, and it’s written all over your actions.

You’re the best person he knows. Without question.

For a split second, Obi-Wan wonders if he even deserves you. But he pushes the thought in the back of his mind for later, hell-bent on not letting anything get in the way of what he wants to say.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

You face him fully, abandoning the tea as you take in the seriousness of his posture. He sucks in a stunted breath.

“It’s about —”

“I know.”

He startles, momentum lost as you interrupt him suddenly. Your gaze is penetrating. “What?” He asks dumbly.

“It’s about Satine, isn’t it?” Your bare arm comes up across your body to hold the other, and Obi-Wan finds himself staring at the way your too-long pants brush the floor as you sway to one side. Your sleeping shirt brushes the middle of your thighs, and he realizes how utterly small you seem in the moment. “You feel the same way about her that you used to.”

His eyes snap up to yours at your words, mind reeling. It takes him an eternity to force out a single word.

“...No.”

You tilt your head confusedly, and Obi-Wan wants to pinch himself to test if this is some sort of stress-induced hallucination. “No? You do know she’s positively infatuated with you, don’t you?”

“No, I —” he shuts his eyes desperately. “I mean, yes, I know, but I don’t —” he breaks off abruptly, opening his eyes at you with newfound willpower. Blast it.

Obi-Wan crosses the room in three steps, reaching his hands out to cradle you delicately as he pulls you in for a bruising kiss.

He hears your breath stutter, shock just about vibrating off of you, but in the next second your eyelashes graze his cheeks as you close your eyes and lean into him. His heart pounds in crazed gratification, and Obi-Wan feels downright dizzy from the sensation. He’s going to faint, he’s going to die right here in your arms —

Your hands find the top of his chestplate, fingers curling against it, but after a beat of his body singing with joy, he feels you apply the smallest pressure on his armor. You detach your lips from his slowly, and he blinks dazedly at you when you pull away. Disbelief paints your frame.

“Obi, what —”

“I love you,” he says quickly, hands still on either side of your face. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you. For so long.” One of your hands reaches up to clasp his own against your cheek. “I know that this goes against everything we’ve ever been taught, and you must be confused. I’m sorry.” He breaks off for a second, eyebrows creasing, because he’s not sorry. He could never be sorry for what he’s just done, not with the feeling of your lips still rippling in tingles through his brain. “But I had to tell you. I just...couldn’t go on without you knowing.”

Your mouth opens and closes as you flounder in his confession, and he studies you with more intensity than he’s felt in ages. He’s suddenly hyper-aware of everything about you, offhandedly concentrating to memorize every tiny detail. He’ll relive that kiss a thousand times over for the rest of his life if it’s the last one he’ll get.

“I — I don’t know what to say,” you manage to let out, and he presses his forehead to yours before releasing you. Say you love me, his heart cries. But Obi-Wan pushes the sentiment away.

“It’s alright,” he promises gently. You stare at him as he squeezes the hand that’s still holding his. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Obi-Wan, I —”

Whatever you’re about to say is cut off by a loud knock from outside, and the way you jerk back from him pricks at his emotions. You quickly pad to the door, opening it a crack as he attempts to conceal himself from your unexpected visitor.

“Sorry to bother you so late, Master,” Anakin’s voice fills the air, and Obi-Wan shrinks further into the shadows. “I’m just checking in before I leave for Vanquor. I wanted to make sure you’re still available to train Ahsoka while I’m gone?”

It takes you a little to formulate a response, your eyes still wide. “Yes — of course, Anakin, always.” You attempt to shut the door, but Anakin speaks up before you can.

“Actually, I was hoping to ask you for some advice as well, if you don’t mind.”

You can’t look at Obi-Wan without giving him away, so he sends a subtle wave of reassurance your way, hoping you pick up on it.

The tension releases from your shoulders, and you nod at his old student. “I’d be happy to. Give me a bit to get ready,” you gesture behind you, “and I’ll walk you to your quarters.”

Anakin must nod in return, because you close the door without another word. You reach up to grab your outer robes from where they’re hung on the wall, and turn to him with a tormented expression.

Go, it’s his turn to coax you as he mouths the word silently. It’s alright.

Your eyes are shining with emotion that he can’t quite read in the dim light, but eventually you slip on your cloak and shoes and open the door once more. With one last lingering glimpse at him in the corner, you disappear into the hall where Anakin is waiting.

As he feels your presence dwindling away, he sends a final thought into the vacant room, more to himself and the aching emptiness of the Force than to you.

I love you.

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

@phmonth2021's vnc countdown questions

Day 5: What are you most nervous for in regards to the anime?

Like most everyone else has been saying, just that they'll change something, or mess something up, or remove something big.

I honestly quite like the Pandora Hearts anime, and I don't think the horrid inaccuracy of the last three episodes completely ruins it. (For the most part it was actually quite accurate). But I also don't like that those last three episodes were indeed horribly inaccurate. Especially because it meant there was no room for later seasons of the anime. And I'm definitely very afraid something like that will happen for vnc, or worse.

Like others have been saying, Mochizuki's works have so much depth to them, even the smallest line or change can really impact things, or simply take out something small but meaningful, so I'm just really scared I'll find they changed or took out a ton of tiny things that really do ultimately make a difference. (And honestly, being a perfectionist, even if they don't make a difference, it'll still bother me. Even though I know they probably will have to take certain things out just for time).

As I said in one of my earlier answers, I've never read a manga before watching an anime before. (And I think that's maybe part of why a lot of ph fans hate the anime so vehemently? Personally I watched the anime first, and enjoyed it). So, especially because this is a manga that's particularly important to me, inaccuracies and changes and things will surely bug the crap out of me, so I'm quite nervous about that. Even though more than anything I'm excited.

[nonagesimus]

Fic prompt, something with this idea? https://katsidhe.tumblr.com/post/644319537824694272/so-ive-been-thinking-a-lot-lately-about-some-sort

everyone go say thank you to @katsidhe for the (as usual) lovely meta

—

Sam had a bit of a bone to pick with one Jimmy Novak, in that when Jimmy had said being possessed by an angel was like being chained to a comet, he’d been understating things.

Saying yes to Lucifer he'd been terrified but resolute. He'd fight his way to the surface because he had to, because it was the only option, because otherwise he'd be tied up in the passenger seat watching millions of people die. And he'd said yes and been pinned to card like an insect on display, feeling the museum burn down around him. But more. In his body and not. Burning and frozen solid. The tiniest fly caught between Lucifer's immense fingers, quaking as a voice that sounded like universes dying and universes being born said, "We're going to have so much fun together, Sam."

Lucifer let him feel it every time someone died at his/their hands. Had him watch, did not let him look away.

Not chained to a comet, he was the comet and he was burning, and growing, and breaking, and he was never, ever going to hit the ground.

When he'd managed to wrestle control, riding on the absolutely certainty that he could not watch his hands kill his brother, that he would end this because only he could, he'd been fighting against every fibre of his being. Every atom screaming relax. Let it happen. It'll hurt less if you stop fucking pushing.

He'd pushed. He'd jumped.

His brain still bumped up against the idea of if knowing was better or not.

With Gadreel there had been no sense of the chain at all. Just clean snips of what he remembered and what was just gone, until reality blended neatly into the daydream of regular life that Crowley had found him in. It hadn't felt like being a bug pinned to card, when he'd realised. He was a rat in a maze. If the maze was alive, trying it's hardest to keep him trapped. A vibration in the floor that felt like a truck going past. An alien heartbeat echoing through the corridors of the bunker.

But, see, rats were good at chewing through walls.

It still meant Sam never wanted that again.

--

Maybe they’d forgotten that, sure, Lucifer absolutely liked cutting people open and rooting around in their insides, and he liked putting pressure on a fulcrum until something cracked, and he liked watching people fear him. But he also liked spells, and plans, and the long con. And the spells, and plans, and the long con meant that Cas was fucking disintegrating.

“We need more time,” Sam said, hands flat on the pages of the book he’d been reading. “Cas, is the spell tied to you, or is it tied to the vessel?”

“It’s tied to my physical form,” Cas said, bundled in blankets and curled in one of the library chairs. He’d been adamant he could help, even though Sam could tell his eyes had to be blurring too hard to read anything. “I don’t see why that helps us-“

“So we get you in another vessel,” Sam said. “Let this one degrade for now, fix the curse.”

“I’m not bringing Claire into this,” Cas said, distressed, and angry, and if Sam knew him at all, scared.

“Not Claire,” Sam said. “Me. I was built to hold an archangel, right, I should be able to hold you.”

Cats looked at him, cloudy eyes, and trembling muscles, and the skin melting off him.

"Sam," he said.

"Cas," Sam said. "Yes."

There was a long pause and they looked at each other and then the axis of the earth shifted.

A rumble and a flash of light: there was the maze. There was the card and pin. There was the fire. No eyes to shut, no fists to clench, because that was how these things worked. And he'd meant the yes, he'd meant it with every fibre of his being, but maybe he could've used a little time to prepare, because his whole chest was seizing up, and- that meant he had a chest to seize up.

"Sam?"

A voice but not. His voice, but not. In his head, and there was fire, sure. There was a comet there vibrating with arrested momentum, but every single chain was slack.

Carefully, he moved his hands and braced himself on the back of a chair. Breath still running short. But he was moving under his own power.

"Cas?" he gasped.

It did not feel like Cas taking use of his hands. It felt like Cas gently laying his hands over Sam's. "I'm here. You're in control."

"I know, I know," he said, white-knuckling it despite himself. And Cas knew, had to. Wasn't just brushing against his soul this time, this time he was inside it. "I know, I trust you." Because he did. He did, his body was just having a hard time remembering.

"I understand, Sam," Cas said, inside his head. "I will not use you. And if you need my help you need only ask." There was a gentle withdrawal, like Castiel was carefully folding himself into the smallest space he could. Not hidden, just trying to be unobtrusive.

Breathing careful, heartbeat slowly returning to normal, Sam rubbed a hand over his face. "Ok," he said. "Ok, let's keep looking. You can figure out how to explain to Dean why your body's in the corner."

There was a pulse of warmth from the back of his head as he turned back to his books.

[slushrottweiler]

Reactions to Ch. 5 of Andromeda Six

Because I have to do something with my feelings. This is written out as a Live reaction, coz it matched my other post like this. MILD SPOILER WARNING

Ooohh, Another flashback

A lot of shit happens in this hallway

Dayum, Nerissa is looking good for her age.

Like… suspiciously good. Even if we took the smallest age difference imaginable, and assumed the traveller is the canonical age (21), Nerissa would have to be at least 10 yrs older than MC, if not more.

LOOKING GOOD SIS

Hmm, so Vexx and my sis are buddies *suspicious eyes*

OK my current guess, Vexx has either always been working with Nerissa and she charged him with infiltrating Zovack’s faction, or Zovack sent him to engraciate himself with Nerissa as well as find entry into the palace.

Omg, imagine if Nerissa was Vexx’s target all along, and MC was even more of a convenient method of infiltration… God the ANGST.

Ok, no more theorising, back to game

Vexx, Don’t WINK at me, my sister is right there.

Ok back to the present, and OOOOHHHHH sparring yasss!!

Pin me to the floor LIs

Now how do I choose the style of fighting imma use. Do I pick based on what I think each of my traveller’s would actually prefer, or so I pick based on which style I think will get me into training with my LI???

Well I’m a Ho so… LI training it is.

I kinda wish you got to choose a level of competency you had to the training. I mean, it kinda lets you, but at least two of my three travellers are quite physically capable, if not legit combat ready. I guess that would have been a TON of extra writing…

Damon: Holy shit you flirty bastard. We’re just throwing subtlety out the window aren’t we. God I’m way too into this jerk

Aya: Lordy, I cannot choose which flirt option is more spicy, but I gotta admit, calling her My Girl got my heart pumping

Calderon: Ummm… excuse me but did the grumpy captain just admit that he wants to fuck me? That’s not subtle holy fuck

Bash: another one where i cannot decide which option to chose. All I know is I want this tin man to RUIN me. I also really like that I gave my Bash-main traveller he/him pronouns. Idk but it makes it better for me.

June: I swear to god, this guy is perfect switch bait. I oscillate wildly between wanting to make him blush ridiculously and wanting him to pin to the closest flat surface.

Vexx: I’m kinda sad I don’t get to have any flirty sparring with my fav carrot boy. I also kinda wish he was at every training group just so he can see how much traveller has grown

NEVERMIND I got my soft Vexx flirt options.

Fuck those are too damn cute for my fav feral traitor boy

I knew they fucked with his head, but I do kinda wish his negative actions were not so explicitly tied to the re-wiring of his brain. Like, he’s turning into a very redeemed good guy

Wait… are we terrorists now?

I think we might be terrorists

Holy shit June

Things got dark REAL Fast

That CG is fucking WICKED.

June bug, you are a literal cinnamon roll of sweetness and sunshine baby let me hold you its gonna be ok

If I every meet your ‘mother’ I’m going to gut her. Just you wait

This is a very light Bash and Aya episode today. I’m kinda hoping they get their time to shine in the next few chapters. But we’ve already been to Bash’s home world, so I do hope he gets a chapter to be the star

And of course Vexx was only working with Zovack for noble reasons…

I was hoping he was out for revenge on the doctor that fucked with his head, or maybe he was looking for notes and documents about what they did to him. Different direction but not bad at all

No, I don’t wanna leave him. It feels so wrong. My June traveller would really have liked to have stayed, even just in the hallway

Wait… did he remember these bombshells before and just kept mum about it, or did he just remember since Ry has been helping him + trauma?

Either way, i need to scoop up this fox and give him pats

That crying sprite is making me FEEL things

Run away run away run away

Lol, I’m with Ry, that was a terrible entrance Damon

YAASSSSS! Traveller Kick some ASS

Oh shit…

THE FINAL ROMANCE OPTION CHOICE

I have multiple save files imma chose them all.

Damon:

omg I called him “the bastard”, we know him so well

My hero, the stabby lad

KISS ME KISS ME

Yassss battlefield make out

Awww he looks so in love in this CG

I knew he’d be a tease but omg.The dialogue exchange between these two is *chefs kiss*

Ayame:

how is she holding me up

Dayum babe, you’re strong for such a tiny person

Fuck can I kiss her again

Awww, baby, you’re too cute

I wanna scoop her up and spin her I’m so happy

Calderon:

He calls me stowaway <3 <3 <3

He’s so mad at me holy shit

Kiss me you moron!

Wow, that was way smoother than I thought it would be

Pin me to the tree captain!!!

Get lost again, I’ll only get lost in your eyes

Bash:

Robot BF to the rescue

He looks so worried about me awwww baby boy

Even his Kiss is cute goddamnit bash

How is he so damn cute, yet so damn sexy

This isn’t fair. You’re not fair bash

June:

you are handling this a lot better than I expected June bug, given the amount of shit you’ve been through today

Superstrength is quite handy

Holy… *swoon*

Traveller.exe has stopped working

Once again, I don’t know if I want to ruin you or let you wreck me.

Stop pushing my switch buttons Juni

Vexx:

oh so you remembered you were my bodyguard huh

He’s yelling at me and all i wanna do is kiss his dumb face

So I did and it was AMAZING

The whole crew has got to be so sus about traveller going missing with just Vexx. Like… that’s gotta raise some concerned

Oh no… the CG… its so beautiful

I demand more kisses Vexx. Kiss my broken heart better

I really wanna write this out with my non-canon traveller, just to make it work in my HCs. It’ll be so fun

Big Twist

HOLY SHIT

[petri808]

Lucy POV for @thenaluarchive Falling For You event. Spooky Forest prompt.

Some... thing or someone chased me into the woods and now— now every hair stands on edge, filaments searching and reaching for the unseen. I know it’s out there, watching, waiting, it’s hyper presence surrounding me as if in a fog, thick and heavy, saturating every inch of my skin like a sickly film of sweat. My breathing grows shallow while I tread lightly over the leaf litter of this dense forest. I dare not make a sound, and I dare not alert it to my whereabouts. Unless it already knows.

And that sends another rivulet of shivers racing along my spine. I know it knows. I feel it in my soul, that it knows every step I take. It’s eyes glued to the back of my head, inside my head, tearing apart my sanity neuron by neuron until all I can think about is it. What it wants to do to me... real or imagined, a sinister, icy breath crawling down my skin. I can almost feel the fingers wrapping around my neck and the claws digging into my flesh...

I’d only gotten a brief glimpse of it before racing into the cover of the forest. A tall man, dark and hidden as if it moved within the shadows. Was it even a man? Couldn’t be human, humans don’t move like wisps of smoke. But I dared not look back a second time. Oh, it was such a bad idea to come this way, but I wasn’t thinking straight! Of all the options, run to town or keep heading towards the forest. My stupid mind chose the forest and now... now I was lost within its branches.

The eerie silence was deafening. Where were the night creatures? No owls hooting, no bugs crawling, or critters prowling these woods? We were warned not to enter it after dark and perhaps the old crazies were right after all. Something was here. I sense it again. That sickening, raw feeling deep in your bones like a coming thunderstorm teasing an elders joints with painful electrical shocks as a warning call.

I move faster. Screw it! If it knows where I am, then it doesn’t matter if I make noise. Twigs crunch under foot, the smallest sounds echo loudly in the darkness. These trees act like amplifiers and dampeners at the same time, bouncing the snaps back at me and drowning out all others. I can’t see where I’m going. My arms are my guides and defense from the branches and tree trunks stepping forward to do me wrong. I need to get out of this place!

The sound of wing beats suddenly takes me by surprise! I spin around, where’d it come from! Searching the tree tops... But nothing except the silence again. Damn it! It’s toying with me! “Leave me alone!” I scream and race back the way I came from, hoping it’s to the safety of the town.

It’s on my heels! My heart thuds in my chest and I can’t hear anything anymore except it’s drumming. Every sensory organ is going haywire, each brush against my skin like shock waves, branches grabbing onto my hair as it whips wildly behind me, tearing strands away... the shearing pain with each pull, it hurts so much, but I cannot stop or it’ll catch me! There’s pressure against my back. It’s close! I feel it! Why is there so much noise?! First deathly silence and now my ears are ringing! Oh, it’s just my screams...

There it is! I see the end! Blessed, sweet moonlight haloed through the tears streaming down my face... and then it happens. My feet tangle over some hidden rocks and send me flying forward. I land with a loud thud and more pain shoots through my body. My knees battered against the rocks and twigs, hands scraped and bleeding from bracing my fall. Something grabs me! Claws tear at my clothes, I scream, fighting, punching, I thrash my body so it can’t get a good grip. My eyes refuse to open in fear as I fight for my life.

It yanks at my arm. “Let me go!!”

“Lucy! Lucy stop fighting me!”

I know that voice! My eyes pop open and find myself stuck in a bramble bush with Natsu’s hand pulling on my arm. It’s branches were tugging at my hair and scraping my skin. I wasn’t being attacked, but the thing, I know it was chasing me! I’m not going crazy!

“What are you doing out here?” He questions as he untangles me from the brush.

“Oh, Natsu!” I throw myself at him. “Something was chasing me!” I sob into his chest, the tears falling heavier as I feel his arms wrapping tightly around my body.

“Shhh,” he coos as his hands gently rub against my back. “You’re safe now, I gotcha.”

“W-We should go! We sh-should get out of here! I can feel it! It’s still here!”

“Lucy there’s nothing chasing you anymore.”

“You don’t know that!” I scream. Why wasn’t he believing me?! “The man! He’s real!”

“I know he is.”

With those four words uttered so smoothly from his lips, all the blood drains from my face and that cold, sickening feeling returns. My body grows numb as I raise my head from his chest and see glowing yellow eyes and pearly fangs mocking me. All the moisture in my throat dries up and breathing halts dead in it’s tracks at the sight of his fangs elongating. “N-Nat-tsu?”

His devilish grin lulls my soul, beckons, mesmerizing as he tips my chin up and holds me in his gaze. I’m done for. “I promised you forever Lucy, and I always keep my promises...”

[hughiecampbelle]

Gentle Reminders (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

Character/s: Thomas

Word Count: 1,077

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @writerdream22 @death-of-a-mermaid @lotsoffandomrecs @woahitslucyylu @obsessedunicorn24 @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @captivatedbycillianmurphy @theshelbyclan @creativemayhems @soleil-dor @thegirlwithoutaname87 @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby @riana-jannat

A/N: I loved the first paragraph, but the rest of it makes me go :/ Today was an emotional day and I just had to write it out. The first week of school is always stressful, on top of everything else. Soon it’ll be routine, but for now it’s an adjustment. This ended up darker/angstier than I anticipated, but we should expect that by now. Hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💖💜

Summary: The impending fall weather reminds Tommy of you 💕

Gif Credit: @benson-shelby :)

FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO. / PART THREE.

WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?

The open sky hemorrhages. There is no way to cauterize this kind of wound, your kisses falling flat on the wet pavement the same way the leaves do. Slipping effortlessly from the branches, swaying on the way down, taking the kind of trip of a lifetime. Inky reds begin to bleed into the green familiar, yellows and oranges painted too, a warning that the world is still spinning and will continue to do so regardless of how often you really think about it. Grooves and waves move around the softly chewed edges as it finally takes a dip. The air is hot, and wet, and bloated, sweating in its own sense. It touches you with the same disappointment you so often find when you hold yourself. Though it looks and breathes as the cold, nipping day you long for, there is nothing but overdue summer heat and the underwhelming sense of wanting what you could never have.

Beads fall down the glass, patter across the rooftops, seep into the stingy fabrics of coats and hats left raw on the coat rack, the rest let itself inside, taking solace in the warmth it’s grown too used to. Tommy never liked the way you left the windows open. The wind blew papers off his desk into careless piles, soaring across the my room, crumpling, caving. Raindrops kissed the windowsill and floorboards beneath, pooling, waiting for him to find it crying out. Across the edges and spines of books nearby, discarded where the light would have been best. The sky a patchwork of torn cotton, the clouds grey and screaming, ripping at the seams. There’s a clear sky above, somewhere. He used to spend his afternoons looking for it. No leaves to fall. No bugs to swim. Only the agitation of the outside world ruining the in.

Tracking mud up and down the grand staircase, filling in the cracks of the old wooden boards. Your clothes so often soaked and tattered, clutching to your skin, plastered across every nook and cranny of your body. Dripping, a trail he could follow all the way to find you. Discarded in a sopping pile before the tub, a witness to the before time. Candles lit, the warmth of the smoke, the scent, the match lit so violently, eagerly, blackened in ash between the bubbles. Sugar and spice burning bright, warming you from the inside out. Sinking deeper, deeper, until the worries dropped from under you, until it didn’t hurt anymore. It always used to scare him the way you drifted off, forgetting how starved the fire could be, how it would have eaten you alive if you hadn’t kept an eye on it. You wanted to leave them be, let the baby sleep, but he was dreadfully impatient, stirring them before they were ready. Putting them out, waving the ash away. No more sugar, no more spice.

The oven warming, a sweltering, suffocating feeling between the walls of the kitchen. Enveloping him, the way you used to, tugging at his collar to breathe. Dishes made for the cooler weather, for the dead trees and snow piles, for the brown grass and howling winds, roasting across the table. Set for a welcome home, for the nights that lead to burning cheeks and struggling for warmth, the kind you couldn’t wait for anymore. Skin and bone, you’d poke at him, urging him to try everything. It was always the cigarettes, though. Stunting his appetite, coating his tongue in teeth in nothing but nicotine. Scraping his fork across the plate, pushing all the words He never said around. Taking your time, your cooking, your excitement for granted. The pots and pans asleep in the sink. Afterwards you find your sleeves rolled, an ache as old as time spreading through your chest. You thought, by splashing, by soaking, by distracting yourself with all the things that brought you joy, it would stop. The thoughts, the regrets, the abyss wouldn’t gnaw through you.

With the clouds parted, the crying soothed, stars sprinkled across the thick open sky. Shrunken and dry, leaves rustling, celebrating the little things, your smallest accomplishments. The mirrors foggy, bloating your image, smearing you and him into nothing. That’s what you were, after all. Nothing in the infinite. Your finger dragging across the shadows, up and down, two spots in the middle: a smiling face staring back at you. You try to match your own to it. The crickets singing, harmonizing, mocking you through the night when the sheets stick to you, when the realization wasn’t so sudden anymore. You could fool yourself all you wanted. The time of year that pulled you close and never let go was more than a few storms away. Drifting away. A man of distance. Your hands inching closer, too careful, too forgiving. He should have met you halfway, closing the gap between you. He should have seen how hard you were trying, how pained, forced your smiles were, how glossy your eyes grew when it was all becoming too much to hold in. He should have, but he didn’t.

The sky hemorrhages the same way bodies do. There’s no stopping it. A man who thought he was doing everything right never even saw it. Isn’t that funny? Eyes wide, drowning, but he never saw a thing until it was too late. It’s a disease he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy. An illness with no cure. Temporary fixes. Denial, drawn smiles, finding solace in the steps that kept you going. Loneliness. It was the ways you reached out that he ignored, that he stepped over, sweeping under the rug, calling it by another name.

He left the windows open, now. Before the first drop, ordering everyone to check every lock, be sure the clean, fall scent moved through the haunted house. He stopped looking for sky, instead stepping in the puddles, splashing, dirtying his pant legs the way he’d always scolded. When the scent of you grew faint, he lit those candles. Huddled in the middle, shoulders slumping, broken, wanting to feel what you did, live what you did in those last moments. He tried to cook what you did, all of it burnt, soggy, raw. Nothing near you could do, what you perfected. Drew faces in the mirror before he went to bed, where he held a pillow in the place of you, where a godless man prayed each night it was all one long, terrible nightmare.

[kirnet]

kirnet x atton (but not really lol). 2.2k words. Dxun sucks ass

Despite everything that she had done as Revan’s left hand, Kirnet believed in the light side of the Force. It moved through every living creature; every sentient, beast, and plant (and droid, Kirnet had argued at every opportunity with Malak as Revan laughed at their squabbling). Therefore, everything deserved compassion and humility, from the Grand Chancellor of the Republic to the smallest insect. As flawed as she found her old masters, she still clung to their belief that all life was precious, even when they couldn’t bring themselves to live and die by their own teachings.

As hard as had been since taking over the Ebon Hawk, Kirnet tried to follow this philosophy. Of course, sometimes it couldn’t be helped that the occasional mercenary needed an emergency amputation or that a Sith assassin got gently helped over the side of one of Nar Shaddaa’s lofty gangways. But, to Kreia’s frustration, Kirnet tried to be kind. She had done her share of harm in the war. Harm that she could feel seeping from the scarred surface of Dxun into her bones as she circled the Hawk, checking for any damage from their recent run in with Onderon’s fleet.

Harm that she was about to unleash all over again if these kriffing mosquitos wouldn’t leave her alone.

She waved her hand around her ear, trying to gently signal to the offending creature (Yes, creature, she reminded herself. A creature that can feel the Force just as well as the people on my ship) that it should get lost. For the moment, it took the hint and buzzed off. Kirnet sighed, her shoulders relaxing as she wiped the sweat from her brow. Dxun wasn’t just hot, it was humid. Oppressive. It sat on her shoulders and pressed her down into the overgrown earth. She was well aware of what lay buried under the tall grass. Ship fragments. Mandalorian armor. That overeager Jedi with the lopsided smile, just knighted the week before, who always sat at her right in the mess hall and offered her their leftover gruel. They had the funniest laugh, she remembered.

The tall grass tickled her calf, bringing Kirnet back to her senses. She forced her right foot forward, then her left, until she was back on her lazy path around the pockmarked Hawk. Her hand fell to her bare neck, where she could already feel the bumps left by Dxun’s own insect fleet beginning to form.

Sure, it’s not in mint condition, and there's damage from Onderon’s “Welcoming Committee”, but I don’t see why Atton needs to spend all of his time-

Buzz.

The kriffing bug was back. 

Or maybe one of it’s friends. No, Kirnet was sure it was the same one. It was here to spite her. Punish her for everything she had done to this moon. Her fists clenched at her side as she closed her eyes, partly to relax herself, and partly to keep the insect from successfully diving into them.

This was a living being, a fellow creature of the galaxy. A being deserving of a Jedi’s compass-

Was there another fucking one?

There was! The droning was twofold around her head. Pressure built behind Kirnet’s eyes and pushed up on her feet and down on her shoulders. It pushed and squeezed on all sides like a vice as the swarm grew and stabbed at her eardrums. That nasally, buzzing laugh. Kirnet had made a joke at Malak’s expense. The table had laughed along with her. What was that knight’s name again?

Her hands snapped open, leaving her with blissful quiet as the mosquitos hung suspended in the air. Force, she would embrace any ancient Sith teaching to be able to suspend every mosquito on this Force forsaken planet at once. Anything to get that incessant droning to stop. Maybe Bao-Dur would make her another Mass Shadow Generator. 

Wow. Revan had really rubbed off on her.

“Uh, Kirnet? Everything alright?”

She released the insects at the voice, not even noticing their stuttering buzzing as she turned to Atton. He had eschewed his usual jacket for his undershirt, currently drenched in sweat and rolled up past his pale forearms. Kirnet tried to blink the dots from her eyes. Or were they mosquitoes?

“Kirnet?”

“Hmm?”

“I asked if everything was alright?” He was closer now, brow furrowed as he leaned in. Kirnet could feel his gaze ghost up her arms and over her swelling neck.

Mustering a flimsy smile, she shrugged. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Whatever assessment he was making of her had apparently concluded. Atton’s eyes hardened again as he waved his hydrospanner in her face. “Because you raised the temperature by about ten degrees, and it does not need to get any kriffing hotter on this planet.” He looked down at his own shirt, his face contorted in disgust. “Just look at me,” he grumbled.

Kirnet crossed her arms and leaned against the Hawk’s landing foot, her homicidal ideations towards insect-kind long forgotten. “I don’t know about that. I quite like the heat,” she lied, ignoring the fat bead of sweat running down her forehead, and held out her hand. Atton rolled his eyes and released the spanner, Kirnet snatching it up with the Force from his open hand. Space, it felt wonderful to be able to do that again. She studied it for a second before turning her attention back to the ship. “And labor makes you warm, flyboy,” she quipped. “I know you’ve never worked a day in your delicate life-”

“Excuse me?” Kirnet sniggered at Atton’s predictable outburst, a quiet laugh behind his words betraying his amusement. “I’ve spent all day working on this hunk of scrap metal and this is the thanks I get?” He scoffed and leaned on the support next to Kirnet, their arms brushing together. “Delicate! Delicate she calls me!”

With a snort, she dropped her head onto his sweaty shoulder. Atton jumped the tiniest amount, so subtle that even Kirnet almost missed it, before leaning into her. “I do appreciate everything you’re doing, Atton,” she said, smirk dropping to a faint smile. He just nodded, his proximity ruffling Kirnet’s damp hair. She didn’t need to say it. He already knew.

“Though,” she drawled, pointing at the Hawk’s durasteel underbelly with the hydrospanner. Atton looked up with her, his cheek leaving the top of her head. The chill set in again. She hadn’t noticed it had left. “You could work a bit faster. The sooner you finish taking your sweet time the sooner we can get off of this hell planet.”

Cursing, Atton snatched the tool from her hand, throwing out his arms as he made his way to another battle scar in the ship’s hull. Kirnet giggled at the theatrics, the sincerity of the moment before slipping into their usual routine. “I stay behind and slave in the heat while you guys go off and -”

“And get eaten alive by bugs and bigger things.” Kirnet cut him off. Her smile dropped as she stepped closer to him. “Atton, you’re the one insisting on staying back. I’d much rather leave Bao-Dur and T3 here and take you with.” She tried to convince herself it was because Atton was much better with mines than her. (Though Mira was undoubtedly the best and was already going to be in her party. She hurriedly pushed the connotations of that thought aside.) Dxun was littered with them from the Mandalorian occupation, and while her soldiers had cleared as many as they could at the time, there were doubtless thousands more that had been missed. That Jedi had stepped on one, she blankly recalled. Their legs had flown off in two opposite directions. They had advanced on her orders.

Atton swallowed hard. “You think that droid can repair the Hawk better than I can?” Despite his tone, his voice lost it’s playful bite. 

“Yes. And so can Bao-Dur. Much faster, too.” Atton pointedly ignored her, now apparently immersed in sealing the blaster hole. Kirnet sighed and closed the distance between them. Gently, she put her hand on Atton’s, his knuckles white around the hydrospanner. He turned it off but didn’t move his gaze from the hull. “I understand not wanting to go out into the jungle,” she laughed mirthlessly. “And I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. But, Atton, if something is wrong-”

“No!” he started too forcefully, wincing as Kirnet withdrew her hand. “No,” he said again, finally turning to look at her. “Nothing’s wrong. As boring as it is I’d rather be here than on the receiving end of a landmine.” Kirnet shrugged. No argument there. “It’s really nothing too complicated. It’ll just take a while.” His face split into a smug smile as he leaned forward against the Hawk, his arm now above her head. Kirnet noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Unless you want to be crammed in an access hatch with me for a day or two.” He had the audacity to wink.

Ah. There it was. The flirtatious deflection. Usually, Kirnet would be more than happy to join in the banter, but the growing vignette around her vision and the hammering in her skull put an end to that line of thought. Fine, he didn’t want to talk about it, and Kirnet was not eager for a real argument, not one of their usual playful spats. Maybe he felt the painful chill in his bones like she did despite the sweltering heat. He was getting stronger in the Force, after all. Or was there something else he wasn’t telling her?

Maybe he just didn’t want to be the latest victim of her leadership on Dxun.

Kirnet rubbed her arms, the chill seeping in further. “I don’t want to go out there any more than you do,” she grumbled. “But something tells me that we won’t get to leave until I find-” She paused, her face contorting as she gestured vaguely towards the jungle. “Something.” Perhaps an old base? The final assault on the Mandalorians, the suicide mission she had ordered, had taken place at one of these abandoned strongholds. If she stumbled onto one, would she recognize it? Or would it be just another scar, long since scabbed over by the eager jungle?

“Suit yourself.” Atton shrugged, pushing his mop of hair out of his face and quickly turning back to the blaster hole. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Nothing special, I’m sure,” Kirnet deadpanned, already starting towards the Hawk’s entrance. “I’m leaving T3- no, do not start with that. Be nice and let him help. And take time to do your meditations. We’ll be back before sundown. Hopefully.”

“Anything else?” Atton scoffed.

Kirnet paused. “Yes, actually. Just a word of advice. After you admit to someone that most of the words that come out of your mouth are lies, it’s easier to tell when you’re not telling the truth.” Atton opened his mouth, but Kirnet put out a hand to stop him. “No need to explain. You’ve already come forward with enough. But if you are stalling repairs for some reason, Atton, then I hope you’re filling your free time with something productive.”

Expression hardening into a scowl, he turned back to the damage. “I’ll get right on that, General,” he all but snarled.

Of course, General. What are your orders?

The migraine hit Kirnet with renewed vigor, almost knocking her to the ground. It took all her effort to keep her shoulders square. “Stay safe,” she mumbled at the grass. “Try not to let the bugs eat you alive. Comlink’s open if you need me.” She didn’t wait for a reply before heading up the hangar door.

“Stay safe,” is what he wanted to shout back. “Keep your head on a swivel, and I’ll come running if you need me.” Atton opened his mouth, then closed it, then settled on grinding his teeth as he listened to Kirnet’s retreating footsteps. The patch of flattened grass that she had stood on moments before tried in vain to stretch back up to its original height.  “Nice going, shutta,” he groaned. No one was around to hear him.

A mosquito landed on his arm. He slapped it before getting back to work.