#It's horrible. She usually doesn't have anything bad to say just warning me that somethings coming

[biteapple]

My god I've been sleeping at like 11am and waking up 4pm because the only time I can sleep is when it's light out. And tonight i was like hmm I think I'll go to bed early (: and why is it always crawling into bed that feels like I've entered an active hornets nest. Just for hours agonizing until I cave and get up and stay up until I can pass out in the mornings.

[maltesejjong]

after being ia for so long, and losing the passwords to my original tumblr and wattpad accts, i am happy to say i am BACK, even if you don’t know who i am lmao. For now, imma be doing reposts of my old tumblr and wattpad posts before i start new content. Enjoy!

꒰ঌ(⃔ ⌯' '⌯)⃕໒꒱

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What’s Really Going On?

Summary: you and you boyfriend Minho have been together for a while now. Years, as a matter of fact. There’s no reason for there to be secrets, especially when it comes to your body. But after missing an appointment you had been anticipating and tension from an argument nights prior still brewing, the truth comes spilling out

WARNINGS: dom!minho, afab!reader, oral sex (both receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it please y’all don’t be stupid), use of traffic light system, fingering (reader receiving), swearing, mentions of pregnancy complications, i think that’s it? Please lmk if i missed anything

Wc: 5971

MINORS DNI, THIS CONTAINS 18+ CONTENT

5:30 pm

You sigh and pocket your phone. Fifteen minutes. He's fifteen minutes late.

Of course, he's been late before, but never like this.

Fifteen minutes, you normally let slide. You just can't imagine that he'd be late when today is so important.

"Y/n! Babe!"

You turn at the sound of your name, and somewhere in you, even though it's not fair, you think eighteen minutes.

Nevertheless, you pocket your frustration and smile the smile only he can draw from you.

"Minho!"

He comes up to you, putting his arm around your waist and kissing your cheek. "I'm so sorry, baby. Traffic was horrible," he explains.

You understand, of course. It's a random Wednesday, but a major band is in town, and 500 lucky people in the area got free tickets.

But that isn't why today is so important to you.

"Why didn't you leave sooner?" You ask, slightly miffed that he ignored your suggestion to stay the night with you, so you would both be on time.

Minho doesn't answer, but you're sure you know what he's thinking. "Babe," you say, holding his arm to make him look at you, " I'm not mad, okay? It was just a bit...much." You bite down in the apology trying to jump from your lips, knowing it could just do more damage.

"What?" He looks slightly confused, as if he forgot the argument you two got in a few days ago. "Oh," he says as the memory resurfaces, "I know. I'm just thinking. Nothing bad, y/n. Just work stuff."

"Okay..."

You arrive your appointment with ten minutes to spare, feeling thankful for the cop that had created a barricaded lane for people not going to the concert, making it easier to navigate the traffic-choked streets of your usually quiet city.

"Wait here," you whisper to Minho. "Hi," you say as you approach the lady behind the desk, "I have an appointment with Mia Loffe."

The secretary, who you've never seen a day in your life at Mia's, types something on her keyboard. "Of course... Let me see... Okay, what's your name, dear?"

You swallow the reaction trying to escape at being called "dear" by someone so young. "Y/n Bang."

"Bang... Bang..." she mumbles to herself, searching what must be a busy schedule. You know Mia's been slammed with work, but she made sure there there was at least an hour for you to come in.

You even booked an appointment, something you never do with Mia, just in case.

"Okay, um, Ms.Bang?" Dread fills your stomach. "It says here that some things had to be rescheduled, but Ms. Loffe has maybe ten minutes, if you'd like to pop back there real quick."

"I, uh... No, that's alright," you say, knowing that Mia is probably getting ready for her next appointment. You don't hold it against her for not letting you know that between last night and today, there was a shift in schedule. "Can I leave a message with you? I don't want to call her while she's working. Will you please just tell Mia to call me when she's not busy?"

The secretary scratches the note onto a pieces of paper and sticks it onto her computer. "Of course. Is there anything else I can do?"

"No," you say, trying to fight the sinking feeling in your chest. "No, thank you though. Have a nice day."

"You, too, Ms. Bang."

You round the corner to see Minho scrolling through his phone. "C'mon," you say quietly.

Minho looks up at you. "Hey." He stands up. "Did Mia kick you out or something?"

You don't answer, except to say "There was a change in schedale, so i'm comine back another You don't answer, except to say "There was a change in schedule, so I'm coming back another day." You can't help but feel annoyed at your boyfriend for his lateness. Mia had even said to make sure you were there at least thirty minutes beforehand, just in case. This, you feel, is largely Minho's fault.

Minho picks up that you don't really want to talk, and doesn't pry as you drive back to your place together.

"Babe," Minho says softly once he's closed your front door, "What's wrong?"

You keep your back to him, trying to contain your feelings. "Nothing, Minho. I'm just a little tired," you lie.

"Why don't you change, and we can watch a movie?" He suggests. "I'll order takeout later, okay?"

You agree, and go change into one of his hoodies and a pair of shorts. When you come back to the living room, you see that your boyfriend's hands have not been idle. He set up a little nest of blankets and pillows on the couch, just the way you like it when you watch movies together, snuggled in close and pressed against one another.

"Is this okay?" He asks when he hears you behind him. "I wasn't sure how much you wanted snuggles, but..." he trails off as he turns and takes in your outfit. No matter how often Minho has seen you wear something of his, it gives him a rush every time.

Clearing his throat, he says "What do you want to watch?" Your ongoing agreement is that you get authority over movie snacks, and he gets authority over what food gets ordered. You both always pick what the other likes most, though, and you switch off who gets to pick the movie.

"I don't really care," you say dismissively. "You can choose. I just want muddy buddies and popcorn."

He smiles warmly, hiding his concern behind deep chocolate eyes. "Choi's alright?"

You nod, as he knew you would. "Don't forget the crab ran-goons and crispy beef," you say, putting a bag of popcorn into the microwave and nuking it.

"Oh, and egg rolls."

"Babe, I got it," he teases. "You act like I haven't known you for twelve years."

"And loved me just as long," you say to yourself, remembering the day your older brother, Chan, came home with his newfound friend, someone named Lee Minho. It wasn't the fact the he was Korean. No, Chan had lots of Korean friends, and you had you fair share. It wasn't his name. It wasn't his age or complexion.

It was his eyes. The way his nose crinkles when he smiles. It was how he acts like the mom of the group, even to the guys older than him, reminding someone to put on sunscreen, or, more often than not, cooking for everyone.

Later, it was also the way he started to look at you, like you weren't "Chan's kid sister" but a girl worth his attention, even though you're three years younger than him. It started as getting more "older brother" attention than the others. Then, you learned what flirting is. It became shy touches and bold smiles. Inside jokes and feeling jumpy if Chan was there when you were together. It became hidden kisses and climbing onto one another's rooftop in the middle of the night to watch the stars and talk. It became Chan walking in the room right when your lips touched Minho's, blouse slightly unbuttoned.

The microwave beeps, bringing you out if your trip down memory lane. Carefully picking the hot bag up by a corner, and reaching for the bowl you had put on the counter. You sigh as the smell of butter and salt taunts your stomach. You hear sounds from the TV as Minho skims past different movies.

Minho glances over his shoulder at you while you shake some ttekboki into a bowl. You can feel the worry and questions rolling off him. It took years for you to recognize the care, hidden beneath such a brash and forceful facade. He always plays his emotions close to vest, but knows how and when to pull back. That hasn't changed, except now, he has a heart that's completely open to you.

"What did you choose?" you ask, coming into the living room.

He's standing in front of the TV, arms crossed, remote pointed at the screen. "Action movie?"

"Okay," you say, setting the snacks onto the ottoman.

You lose yourself in the movie, and eventually, you don't even notice what's going on in the plot, because, as always, you re more tuned in to the Minho show. Every point where your bodies touch, his warmth, this feeling of security. You smile as his lips touch your neck for what must be the tenth time.

"I'm gonna put the order in," he says, his words warming your skin.

"Okay," you mumble, somewhat sleepily. "I'm taking a bathroom break."

He nods, his phone to his ear.

When you come back, you decide to get some water. You go to the kitchen and reach into the dish rack to get a glass. You aren't really paying attention, and nick your finger on the knife you washed this morning, after cutting an avocado. In your preoccupation with your appointment with Mia, you had left the knife pointing upwards.

"Shit," you yelp, waving your hand.

Minho comes into the kitchen. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Just cut my finger," you say, sucking on the cut, blood staining your tongue.

He gently pulls your finger away and examines the cut. "It's not deep," he says, sounding relieved. "Here." He turns the knob on the sink, and water starts flowing from the faucet.

You gingerly put your finger under the water, hissing at how cold it is. Minho stands behind you, his chest touching your back as he massages your hand under the chilly water.

"You gotta be more careful, y/n," he says with a slight laugh.

You ignore his words, and instead focus on the feeling of his fingers kneading your hand, his breath on your skin. Your pulse quickens predictably. As it always does with him.

"Thanks, babe," you say, gently pulling away, trying to calm yourself, but not entirely sure you want to.

Minho opens the medicine cabinet, searching for a band-aid. "Food'll be here in about half an hour. Maybe 45 minutes," he says, his back to you.

Something in you says "fuck it" and you go over, hugging him from behind.

You feel his muscles jump, but his voice is steady as he says "Hey, pretty girl. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you say, your cheek pressed against his back. You know you should talk to him about the appointment with Mia, but you don't want to. Not yet. You have other things on your mind.

You stand on your tiptoes and press your lips to the back of Minho's neck. He brings his arms down, abandoning his search for a bandage. "Babe?"

"Minho," you say quietly, in the same tone you use every time you're feeling a little naughty.

You can hear him swallow. "Y/n?" He turns to face you and you look into each other's eyes.

After a moment, you lean forward and kiss him, keeping your lips closed. You know he finds this as both an annoyance and a turn-on.

When you pull away, you see confusion in your boyfriend's gaze as he tries to decide which route to take. You know that he's going to wait to see what you do first.

Looking him dead in the eye, you say "Stop being such a gentleman." The code word you use to let him know what mood you're in.

You know he's decided to go with it, that he wants this too, when he says "I've never known a lady who doesn't wait for the man to make the first move."

He kisses you, hard. No playing around, no lead-up. You know this is going to get rough. Just how you like it.

He's still leaning against the counter, and you wrap your arms around his neck, feeling his tongue meet yours. You make some vague noise at the back of your throat as he somehow manages to kiss you even deeper. His hands grip the hem of his hoodie that you're wearing, and he pulls it over your head.

"Thought so," he murmurs against your mouth.

You aren't wearing a shirt. Somehow, no matter what, he always knows. One of the Minho mysteries you have yet to figure out.

Not wanting to waste any time, you yank his shirt over his head. He laughs, tousle-haired and swollen-lipped. You trail your fingers over his lean torso, one of the many results from years of dance. You love that he's a dancer, that he couldn't give less of a shit about stereotypes. It's sexy as hell.

You lean into him, forcing him to practically bend backwards, kissing him as roughly as you possibly can. He slips a hand into your waistband, his fingers teasing. You bunch his hair into your fists, knowing he won't go any further.

Not after the other day.

Not unless you tell him to.

His touch is like fire, burning into your skin. You moan slightly against his lips as his fingers slowly move to your clit, waiting to see if you'll stop him.

You don't.

What you do do is drag your fingers down his chest to his jeans, and start to unbutton them. Something you've done so many times that you could do it with one finger and your eyes closed.

Except.

There's a nervousness zapping your spine and bubbling in your stomach that hasn't been there in a while, making you fumble.

Thinking that your slip is due to him, Minho starts to pull back, but you grab his wrist with your other hand, leaning back to look in his eyes.

"Don't stop," you say.

He swallows, seeming to feel the same nervousness.

He nods and places his lips on yours, kissing his way down your jaw and to your neck, his lips gentle while his fingers are anything but, making your walls clench like crazy.

"Damn, y/n," he mutters.

"Minho... the couch. Please," you say in a strained voice.

He gathers you up and moves into the living room, a short transition in the small apartment.

You lay on your back, biting his neck, his lips, his tongue, as he works a second finger into you. Your hips lift off the couch.

"Y/n."

You look at him, seeing the question in his eyes.

You nod slowly, feeling your stomach jump. You watch him pull his fingers out, covered in your juices. He pulls your shorts down your legs, followed by your panties. He runs the same fingers that were just inside you up your ankle, your leg, to the inside of your thigh.

Minho makes eye contact with you again and you nod firmly. Yes. The green light.

He kisses the inside of your thigh, working his way to your entrance. When he gets there, you re clenching so hard around nothing it hurts. You ball your fists, trying not to make the noises so desperately trying to escape.

You wait, anticipation racking your body until he pushes your legs a little farther apart. Then he gets to work.

Finally, you can't take it anymore. "God, Minho," you moan.

"That's it, baby. Let it go. Sing for me, I want to hear that angelic voice if yours."

It feels so good. Perhaps too good. You can barely believe that you picked an argument with him over this.

You arch your back as his tongue enters your body and he makes some noise when your walls tighten even more. He pulls back and says "Relax, y/n."

"I'm trying," you mutter through clenched teeth.

As if to help, Minho starts rubbing your thigh. "No, babe, that doesn't—-" you cut yourself off, trying to get a grip. "Minho- I can't- agh-"

"Just let go, babe"

That's exactly what you're trying not to do. It's what you got so upset about on Sunday. The way you just lost control, how he encouraged it. He was a little confused, because you used to love it, the rush, the feeling, and now, he said, you're acting like it's your first time all over again. He was hurt because you called him greedy. You regret it, and you know he's going to make sure to make you such a mess and so needy that you really regret it.

One strong suck is all it takes to make you come.

You moan, grabbing at the couch as he pulls away, a devilish smirk on his face. He comes back with his fingers, shoving three fingers into your pussy, his thumb stroking your clit.

"Minho, I can't... You're gonna make me- uh!" You exclaim, coming all over his fingers.

"You know you want me," he hisses, but not maliciously. You shake your head, trembling. "Don't you?"

Again, you shake your head.

"Are you sure?"

"No. I don't want—"

"I can't hear you." He pushes his fingers even deeper.

You bite your lip, trying to pull him closer so you can kiss him, but he just raises an eyebrow in that way that drives you wild and pushes his fingers against your walls.

"One more chance, y/n. You know you want me, don't you?"

Yes," you gasp out. "I want... so bad..."

He smirks. "Who's the greedy one now?"

"Me," you pant. "Greedy bitch. I know. I'm such a dirty-"

"Keep going," he says.

"Dirty ho." Your clit aches painfully against his fingers as a fourth stretches it out. "So... such a- a slut,” you pant, somewhat hysteric.

"Mmm. You can do better than that."

You push him onto his back, yanking his jeans and boxers away.

"There you go," he says.

"In me," you beg. "Please?"

"Hmm.. I don't think you've said 'thank you' yet."

You start kneading around his dick. "Why should I?"

“I require payment," he says, his voice still so steady.

You cup your hand around his erection and start moving up and down. You take the tip of him in your mouth, tongue circling as you suck gently.

"Good girl."

You decide to show no mercy and suck as as you can, making him groan.

"Y/n. I can't-"

"To bad," you snap. "Try."

"God, you're so hot when you're fired up."

"Stops fighting."

"Oh, but then there'll be nothing left for you."

"There always is," you reply. "I’ll even be nice and help you," you say, right before he lets go and comes all over your hand and chin. "There's a good boy."

He pretends that he didn’t whine at the pet name. “Shall we call it even?" He asks, even though you know he's in no way finished.

"Oh, no," you say. "I'll let you choose."

"On your back," he orders. You comply. "And get the bra off. Stop acting like you're some innocent angel."

You drop your bra to the ground, right before he starts kissing your neck, his hands squeezing your breasts.

He moves to sit on your stomach, and you know what's coming. He holds his hand under your chin, and you spit into his palm, obliging. He uses your spit as a lubricant for his dick before he positions it between your tits, moving them back and forth, rubbing against him.

You feel him go hard almost instantly and smile inwardly. You knew he wasn't done yet. He's never down for the count that early on.

"Minho. Stop wasting time."

He raises his eyebrow again. "Who's in charge here?"

“Asshole,” you spit out. “I just fucking tolerate your orders.”

He hums in consideration. "What do you think?”

You stroke the tip of his dick, making him shudder. "Fuck me, Lee Minho. Show me what you've got."

The second you say it, you wish you could take it back.

"Challenge accepted."

This is going to be a long night.

ଘ(´•3•)⊃━☆ଘ(´•3•)⊃━☆ଘ(´•3•)⊃━☆ଘ(´•3•)⊃━☆

You're leaning against the arm of the couch, watching your boyfriend enthusiastically eat a bucketful of shrimp lo mien the same way he had eaten you out not too long ago.

"You hungry?" He asks, using his chopsticks to gather the noodles into his mouth.

"Mmm. Maybe later. I'm just exhausted. Tired."

"But not tired of me, right?"

You flash him an amused look. "Unfortunately not." Your entire body is sore, your legs are weak as hell, and your clit is pounding with pain. You give him an appraising look. "You seemed to hold your own longer than usual."

Minho shrugs, mouth full of noodles. His hair is a tousled mess, his bare chest and neck covered in hickeys and teeth marks. You're sure that you're no different.

You tug the sleeves of his hoodie down over your hands and pick up your phone. "Oh, fuck," you say, realizing that you have a missed call.

"What's up?"

"Mia tried calling me earlier," you tell him. "But..."

"You were a bit busy," he supplies with a shrug. He twists away from you to grab another carton of lo mien, and you see that his back is bright red and covered in scratches. You reach out and trace a puffy red line, feeling him shiver under your touch.

"God, babe. Your fingers are freezing."

You trace another line, realizing that there are tiny beads of blood on his back. "Holy shit. Minho. Baby. Why don't you ever stop me?"

He shrugs, opening the lo mien. "I'm fine with it. I like it. You seem to like it. It also kinda kills the mood.

"But if it hurts—"

"It dushnt," he tells you, noodles hanging from his mouth like octopus tentacles.

"Still. What if I scratch too hard and actually cut you instead of just scraping the surface of your skin? Stop acting like 'the mood' is more important that your health."

He doesn't meet you eyes as he quietly says "Are we really going down this path again?"

You sigh and push your fingers into your hair.

"Maybe. Yes. I don't know!"

"Babe. I don't really know what you want me to say anymore. I told you not to worry about me."

"I'm not just worrying about you, Minho. I'm also thinking about me."

He twirls his chopsticks in the lo mien container. "Do you, y/n? Because you seem to have a tolerance the size of fucking Kilimanjaro. You never tell me to stop, even if, quite frankly, I'm exhausted and can't keep going. But I do. I do for you."

You feel your neck getting warm. "Well maybe it's your own fault for not telling me you need to stop."

"I do, though. I do, and you listen when I tell you I'm out. I'm more so a bit ticked off that you never tell me to stop. Do you remember what I said to you all that time ago? Did you even care? Because that was me, caring."

You close your eyes, remembering the color system that he devised for you, signals as to when to tell him to stop, if something he's doing hurts. "Yes, Minho. I remember. But I said that also goes for you! And you-"

"Use it when I really need to," he interjects.

"Well... well maybe I just don't really need to, then," you huff.

He cocks an eyebrow, and you tell yourself it's just an eyebrow, not a sexy move from your boyfriend. Definitely not something that turns you on.

The truth is, you've always been scared to use the light system. It's always green. Green means go. Even though you and Minho had had feelings for each other since you were in primary school- the last year, but still— that didn't stop him, who was three years older, from meeting other girls and going out with them, and you didn't try to stop him. You yourself went out on dates, kissed guys and did everything short of getting fucked for real. You wanted Minho to be the one to get your cherry. And he didn't disappoint.

Through it all, though, he had plenty of experience, experiences that you couldn't compete with unless it was oral. He told you green light means all good. Yellow is "I need a break" and red is stop. No questions asked. Whatever you're doing ends and you do something that doesn't involve sex. Red and yellow both mean "this hurts, I'm uncomfortable" of some degree.

Though you've definitely needed to, you've been worried about how Minho would react if you tell him to stop. It's one of the other reasons you argued with him on Sunday, but he doesn't know it. You made it seem like he just takes and takes, when really, it was that it hurt. You couldn't keep going, even though it hadn't even been 15 minutes when the pain kicked in. You were embarrassed. He was able to go on for God knows how long, and you weren't lasting anywhere near as close as him that day.

The look Minho gives you tells you that he's calling BS.

"Y/n."

You look at him. "Minho?"

"Look." He's always down his container of noodles and shrimp. "I know that's not the case. Why don't you try telling me what's actually up."

A spark of frustration heats your chest. "What's up, Minho, is that, thanks to you being late, we missed our appointment with Mia!"

Minho leans forward, massaging his temples. Finally, he drops his hands, his elbows balancing on his knees, and he looks over at you. "Is that what this is all about? I'm not ignoring the fact that you're dodging my question, but why didn't you say something to me?"

"Because... because it's just-"

"Not worth it? Babe, clearly it is. You wouldn't even tell me why this appointment was so fucking important to you. So important that I had to be there, which I found odd, because you usually tell me you want to see Mia alone. Which is fine, because I know that's the only girl time you two get together, so I found it strange that you wanted me there."

You clench your fists, hidden from view by the long sleeves of your boyfriend's hoodie, trying not to explode.

"And," he continues, "you still haven't told me the full story as to why you were actually upset on Sunday. You just called me greedy and said you weren't in the mood anymore. So please, please, will you tell me what's wrong? What's been going on?"

"I..." you look into his amber eyes, trying to fight the truth.

Minho puts a hand on your knee. "Y/n. Baby. Please."

The words come spilling out. "It's not that you're greedy. It's not that I don't enjoy the sex anymore. It's that... it's that I'm scared," you blurt. His expression is startled, incredulous as you go on.

"I'm scared to tell you no. To tell you to stop, that something hurts. It makes me feel like shit, when something hurts and I start to feel tired by the fifteen minute mark when you haven't even gotten started. It's not every time. But that's what was happening on Sunday. Sometimes it makes me ashamed, how much I just... it's like I'm a different person when we have sex. Sometimes I don't recognize me. Like, I turn into a mess. You turn me on like that" —you snap your fingers— "and somehow, you get me to cum four times in less than half an hour. I needed to feel justified in my feelings of 'I can't anymore' and I was scared to flat out tell you to stop, so I told you that you were being greedy and it was a turn off. And I'm sorry, Minho. I'm so so sorry for calling you greedy and disgusting. The truth is, I feel greedy and disgusting, wanting so badly, wanting so much, when I can't go on, or when you need a break. Sometimes I feel annoyed that you need to stop." You bury your face in your hands. "God, I'm such an asshole." You try to prevent the tears prickling behind your eyes.

"Y/n. Look at me. Please." You lower your hands to see Minho. "I'm sorry. Babe, why haven't you said something? If it hurts, if I'm hurting you, then you should tell me. If you can't anymore, tell me. Yellow light. Red light. Doesn't matter. Don't feel ashamed, okay? To tell you the truth, sometimes I can tell you're tired, but I'm never sure whether or not I should slow down and stop because you never tell me to, and I worry about accidentally offending you. I don't want you to think I'm assuming you're weak."

"Anyone that can ride Lee Minho for even fifteen minutes cannot be weak," you joke.

"Point taken. As for being a totally different person during sex? Well, yeah, you're gonna act differently when you're fucking. Think about it: do you go around constantly calling yourself a dirty ho and greedy bitch when you're at work?"

You don't say anything.

"I mean, unless you're getting it on with a coworker. Then we might have some problems."

That gets a laugh from you. "God, no. No, Minho. I understand what you're saying. It just... I feel ashamed and dirty after the fact. Like 'was that really me'?"

He smiles gently. "Yes, and I get that. But you have to know that there's no reason to feel that way. I don't think any less of you. And, in case you don't remember, you aren't the only one yelling and moaning and talking dirty, okay? You also aren't the only one that gets turned on instantly and cums a billion times. Then again, I, personally, can't really help it."

You smile again, that special smile that you save for him.

"Now. What about this appointment with Mia?"

The smile drops from your face as a slight panic sets in. "What about it?"

"Baby, please don't shut down now. Keep this going, okay? Why were you so upset to miss a meeting with Mia?"

You bite your lip, contemplating. "I... I'm maybe... something came up, and she... she's had a few times dealing with this with other people and knows what to do and I wanted you there so we were on the same page."

"Okay," he says slowly.

You feel your hands start to shake. "I guess it has to do with why I was so punchy these past few weeks..."

"Oh. I though it was PMS."

You shake your head. "No. Maybe a little bit, but mainly no. The truth is.." you hesitate, trying how best to go about this. "I have a rare immunodeficiency."

Minho looks at you with disbelief. "What?"

"I... I have a rare immunodeficiency," you repeat shakily.

"What is it? How did you find out?"

"Well... I actually found out from... from us having sex."

Minho's eyes widen. "Have I somehow gotten you sick? What happened? Does this have to do with why it hurts you so much?"

"No, I'll explain in a second, and possibly." You look down at your hands. "Let me ask you this: you'd say we're usually pretty... careful, right?"

He nods. "If I remember correctly, told me to download that app that tracks your cycle so we both have a record of your ovulation schedule and know what days to avoid completely. And you regularly remind me to make sure I have condoms both here and at my place and you have some sort of birth control, but you stopped taking it because it was causing some sort of issue, so no more of y/n's birth control. Correct?"

You nod. "But we're only human, and even technology can't predict something that fluctuates like a woman's period. Because it does change."

Again, he nods. "True... Wait." He looks up at you, lips parted. "Are you..?"

You shake your head. "No, babe. I'm not pregnant. Not anymore."

"Anymore?"

You nod. "Yes. I've technically been pregnant five times in the past two years."

Your boyfriend stares, mouth agape.

"After the fourth time, I went to the doctors. Do you remember how I had that constant bout of sickness?"

"I remember."

"Well.." you squeeze your fingers, preparing yourself. "I was getting so sick because my body was thinking that each fetus was actually a virus. At the same time, my body was naturally like 'okay we've got a life force in here to grow and protect'. Essentially, my body was waging a two-sided war on itself. One side to protect the baby, the other trying to get rid of it."

"But why?" You can't help but be thankful for how calm he's staying.

"You're taking this remarkably well. Better than I thought you would, anyways." You hug your arms to your chest. "Explanation: my body isn't accepting your DNA."

"So, essentially, I'm making you sick. But only when you end up pregnant?"

"Exactly."

He shakes his head. "God, y/n. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I... I wasn't sure how," you say meekly. "I mean, I'd be like 'hey, babe, guess what? I'm pregnant. Surprise!' Just to be like 'Ha. Sike!I'm not pregnant anymore' within a month."

He sighs. "True. Holy fuck. Five times?"

You nod and laugh a little. "Yeah. Guess we know what that means."

He nods conspiratorially. "Yep. Probably should've listened to everyone being like 'be smart. Be safe. Always use protection', huh?" He rubs the back of his neck. "Is there a way to fix it?"

"Fertilization treatments," you say glumly. "I hear they're absolute hell."

"But it'll be worth it, right? I mean, you don't get sick and... I mean, if you don't want kids, that's fine, I just thought... I'm not saying I'm assuming anything. I mean, obviously it's your choice, I just thought..."

For the first time, you realize just how… nervous this news is making him. Your boyfriend, the always cool, calm and collected Lee Minho is a flustered and stuttering mess. It also hits you that he actually, really, truly wants kids. He wants kids... with you. Which must mean...

No. You can't get sidetracked. Whether or not he proposes is up to him. You'll always be ready to say yes.

Back to the task at hand.

"Minho. Babe, calm down. Of course it'll be worth it."

He starts shaking his head, almost frantically. "No, no, no. Don't make a decision based on me. Do it because you want to. Don't-"

You put your hand on his knee. "Hey. Deep breaths. Yes, I want the treatments."

His body sags in relief.

"I want to get this fixed. I can't have a family if my body is killing off our kids. I dare say you'd prefer it if your children actually made it out alive."

His eyes widen at your statement. You run it through your head, trying to catch your mistake.

Then you realize: you just laid out a future of togetherness, marriage, and parenthood with Minho in those three sentences.

You try to backpedal, feeling like you've overstepped, even though you've talked about a future together many times. "I just meant, if you were me— I didn't mean—"

He cups your face in his hand. "I'd prefer it if my children made it out alive," he says softly, placing a hand on your abdomen.

You smile, relieved that you've finally told him. As Minho leans in to kiss you oh so softly, you close your eyes, envisioning your future.

[the-ultimate-obsessive-fangirl]

A/N: I replied to a request ages ago it was george Weasley x fem Slytherin reader ending with smut and I just spent like 3 hours editing and adding to it to improve it. Here you go :) 💗

Warnings: smut, p in v, praise kink if you squint (barely there), orgasm denial, overstimulation, cunnilingus, deapthroating, Draco kinda being an ass, harry kinda being an ass too, swearing idk if I missed anything out let me know please :) ❤

Word count 4350 (yes I did make it so it was an even number for people with OCD like me because it's something normal and shouldn't be alienated it should be acknowledged and people should do things to help people with OCD out)

"George, Geooooorgggeee GEORGE"                  George snapped out of his day dream with a start. "What fred" George said rolling his eyes lifting his head from his fist to look at his twin. "You're staring at her... AGAIN" Fred said exasperated.

"How can I NOT she's gorgeous, she has nice eyes, nice hair, amazing smile, her laugh literally sounds like a Phoenix song and don't even get me started on her personality... " George rambled on dreamily

"She's a Slytherin George" Harry deadpanned interrupting him rudely

 "She's not actually half bad mate considering that she's a pure blood Slytherin and all that she doesn't seem to obsessed with purebloods" Fred told the bespectacled boy pointedly

"See" George said

"Even Fred agrees that she's amazingly gorgeous"                         "woah woah woah I never said that... " Fred started

"George stop being a mushy simp and just go ask her out if you're that in love with her " Ron said annoyed

"But what if she rejects me or.... " George started. It's unusual for him to be so hesitant in asking a girl out this completely opposed his usual confident demeanor.

"JUST GO" Harry Ron and Hermione said in unison

"Fine fine I'll go but if I get rejected all three of you owe me 5 gallions" George exclaimed standing from the Gryffindor table and walking over towards where you were sat at the Slytherin table

"Hey Y/N...." He started 

"Oh here comes the carrot top blood traitor " Draco interrupted seethingly                             

"Draco shut up and stop" You said to him firmly                                    "what I'm just saying it how it is Y/N" he said clearly annoyed by the presence of George        

"I said.... Stop" You said firmly glaring at him furiously  

"Fine" he said moodily and returning to the conversation he was having with pansy

You stood up and walked over to where George was stood a couple of feet away                          

"I'm so sorry about him" you said "he's actually really caring beneath all of the pure blood shit his parents just sort of brainwashed him.. Especially his dad. Anyway sorry I'm rambling on what's wrong? " 

 "It's fine don't worry I don't take it to heart but thank you for you know... Standing up for me" George told you  blushing ever so slightly                                                                       

" that's absolutely fine I'm glad to help out a fellow blood traitor " you said jokingly. Everyone knew that you had a horrible relationship with your parents and they had disowned you so for now you were living at the Malfoy man or much to Lucius' dismay.

" so what can I help you with? " you asked grinning up at him

"Well I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to maybe go out to Hogsmede with me this weekend" he said blushing furiously scratching the back of his neck nervously

"Of course, I would love to ! " you said happily "do you want me to drop by the Gryffindor common room then we can walk down together? " you asked

"No absolutely no you're the lady so I'm picking you up at YOUR common room okay!? " he said pointedly regaining his usual confidence now that he hadn't been rejected. He wasn't about to  let you be the man of the date you deserve to be treated like a princess                                   

"okay so that's a date then? " you said smiling. You were pleased that finally one of the boys that had asked you on a date had the decency to pick you up. (You have had A LOT of boys asking you out because you were the heart throb of Slytherin. You weren't a slag or anything like that but you'd been through a quarter of your year )

"Yea sure.. That's a date " he replied                   

  "okay I'll see you on Saturday I'll talk to you later or I'm going to be late for charms " you said checking your watch                                  "ok, see ya" George said

You both turned to walk away but then             

"George hang on a sec" you said jogging over to him                             "What's wr..... " he started. But you cut him off as you stood on your tip toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek "thanks for asking me out" you said and before he even got a chance to open his mouth to reply you had already jogged off to your next lesson.

Fred walked back to his friends stunned and madly blushing.           "So you got the date then judging by that oh so innocent gesture that left you in this state" Fred said grinning madly knowing that he would tease George for at least 2 weeks for being in such a state after one kiss on the cheek by a girl

"Yea" George said still stunned his cheeks flushed still

_________________________________________

(Saturday)

George stood outside the Slytherin common room waiting for you to come out.

"Sorry I kept you waiting I couldn't find my purse and I wanted to pop into zonko's so I wasn't about to leave without my purse"  you said slightly flushed you had just spent the last 10 minutes rushing around looking for your purse.

"That's absolutely fine and thank God you're off into zonko's because me and Fred need some more Dr Filibuster's Fireworks we ran out last week when we got detention for setting them off during transfiguration" George said smiling at the memory

"Right then good sir off to zonko's we go" you said poshly                 "Why of course my lady" George replied playing along and and bowing deeply offering you his hand graciously. You took it just as graciously                                                     

"why thank you kind sir" you said

You both walked off laughing and chatting animatedly. Once you had been to zonko's for a few hours George turned to you and asked                           

"Where to next? "                                                     

 "We are NOT going to madam Puddifoots anywhere but there! " you said seriously             

"Oh thank god you said that! " George said sounding relieved           "three broomsticks? " you asked                            

"Yep definitely" he replied grinning.

Once you had arrived at the three broomsticks and chosen a table George asked "butter beer? "                                                   

"yes please let me get out my pur... " you started but George interrupted you                     

"absolutely not fuck no I'm not letting you pay for your own drink I'm paying and that's final. Now do you want your drink hot or cold" he said firmly giving you a dont-you-dare-argue-with-me look. Usually you would pay for it yourself as you had been brought up to be independent and do everything yourself (another toxic trait your parents had passed onto you)

"George are you sure?? " you said feeling a little bit guilty               "yes I'm absolutely sure" he said "hot or cold? " he asked again      "George it's in the middle of summer... " you said looking at him with a 'seriously' look             

" I take that as cold" he said laughing and going to order your drinks. About 2 mins later George came back with your drinks he sat down and took a sip. You looked at him and snorted with laughter.                                     

"What?? " he said confused                                   

"you've got a little something there" you said pointing to your the end of your nose. George had gotten the froth of his butter beer on his nose. He wiped the tip of his nose with the back of his hand.      "Have I got it?? " he asked                                        

"yea" you said laughing

   He hadn't got it but you thought you'd have a little fun and let him believe that he had.            

"Y/N I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to come back to the Gryffindor common room once we've got back to the castle instead of going back to yours? " he asked                                             "Yea sure I'd like that" you said smiling and trying to surprise your laughter at the fact that he still had butter beer froth on the end of his nose luckily he didn't notice.   

After about 3 rounds of butter beer you both decided to head back to the Gryffindor common room.                                                            "Do you think your friends will be ok with me in your common room considering I'm a Slytherin? " you asked George                       "Of course they will! " George said surprised      

"Are you sure? . You don't think I'll make anyone uncomfortable do you? " you asked      

George half absent mindedly threaded his hand through yours and said "I promise no one is going to mind"

He noticed that he had taken your hand in his and let go immediately                               

"sorry" he said "I wasn't thinking"                       

"no it's ok" you said grabbing his hand again and looking up at him "I liked it" he down smiled at you holding onto your hand more tightly.

You got to the portrate of the fat lady George stood there and said "shit I forgot the password ummmm.... "

"Daisy's " you said and the door opened George looked at you "how did you... "                

"overheard one of the prefects telling Neville the other day" you said smiling                             

"you're amazing" he said awestruck "after you" he gestured 

You walked in and looked around                             

"oh my god it's so much nicer in here, the Slytherin common room is shit compared to this " you said amazed. George laughed            "I'm glad you like it , come on " he put his hand on the small of your back and guided you to the sofa. He sat down and you sat next to him he put an arm around you and you leant into him

"Ah is this the lovely Y/N? " Fred said coming over to you and George offering you a welcoming smile he sat beside you and you offered to shake his hand. He took your hand but jumped back immediately. You and George shook with laughter   

"Electric shock ring" you said wheezing "got it from Zonko's"  . Fred grinned at you then looked at George                                              "I like this one" he said then he looked at you "welcome to the family"

He looked at George again and then furrowed his brows slightly looking at the froth still on his nose. "Geo.." He started but then stopped as you put a finger to your lips and mouthed "don't tell him"   he winked at you understanding the assignment

Luckily George didn't notice this interaction as he was too occupied with the arrival of Harry, Ron, Hermione and, Ginny.

"Hi Y/N" Ginny said as though you had been friends for years

"Hi Ginny " you said smiling kindly at her

"Oh yea sorry hi to everyone else as well " you added

"Hi" Hermione said sitting down opposite to you  

   "Hi" Ron said sitting next to Hermione

"Hi" Harry said coldly sitting on the other side of Hermione which was a mistake because as soon as he sat down Hermione elbowed him hard in the ribs

"Ow what did you do that for? " he said to Hermione

"Because you need to watch your tone not every Slytherin is an asshole " Hermione said pointedly

"It's ok I get it"  You said looking down "I guess.... Not everyone knows how amazing I am " you said putting the back of your hand to your forehead and pretending to faint onto George.

Everyone laughed and Harry let out a sort of snort of laughter

Hermione elbowed him again looking at him pointedly. He rolled his eyes"Sorry" he said half hartedlh "i guess you don't seem too bad"

"Don't seem too bad! " you exclaimed looking scandalized "What treachery is this? " you said looking to George wide eyed and offended

"Why my lady, I do not know! " George said playing along       "Alright I take it back your amazing" Harry said laughing at the shared ridiculousness you and George had. He was still a bit cold towards you after that but eventually he warmed up to you and stopped being an ass.

Somehow Fred had managed to tell the others not to mention the butter beer froth without George noticing. So after an hour or so of just the 7 of you talking George said

"Why do you lot keep staring at the tip of my nose ? "

"No reason " Fred said innocently                            

"pffftt yea right" George said sarcastically. He got up to look in the mirror just above the fire place he turned around and looked at you.

"You little shit" he said "you told me I got it" he said wiping the froth off of his nose

You and the others laughed

"So you're telling me that for the past 4 hours I've had this shit on my face"

You and the others were now histerically laughing at Georges pissed off face

"Yep" you said grinning at him maliciously.He came over to you grabbed a pillow and threw it at you. You caught it and threw it back hitting him square in the face. This kick started off a big pillow fight between the 7 of you. You ran up into the boys dorm as George ran after you with a particularly big pillow. You managed to get up there 15 seconds before he did. You grabbed a pillow off of one of the beds and drew the curtains around the bed but hid underneath the bed knowing that you could ambush George when he opened up the curtains on the 4 poster bed.

George came up with his pillow and (predictably) went straight to the bed with the curtains closed. He ripped open the curtain and lept onto the bed expecting to find you there. You shot out from underneath the bed and ambushed him. He flipped onto his back and held his arms above his face laughing. You were almost straddling him with both your knees either side of him you were hovering just above him. After a couple of hits you threw the pillow to the side and put both of your hands either side of his head panting slightly.

"Accepts defeat! " You told him grinning              

"never! " he said and flipped the two of you, so he was above you.

"Ha" he said

"ugh shut up" you groaned                                        

"make me " he started smirking                            

"fine" you replied. You trapped the back of his neck and brought his lips crashing down onto yours.

You kissed him passionately and to your surprise after a couple of seconds he kissed you back with just as much passion .

He reacted instantly and within seconds his hands were trailing down your body and stopping  at your hips, his thumbs caressing them.

He pulled away from the kiss , flustered and slightly pink in the cheeks.

You both felt it now ,the definite sexual tension between the two of you, he was already half hard and you were begginng to get wet a dull ache that needed to be cured setting between your legs. You both knew what was gonna happen next. And things became more serious as the sexual tension built up.

He looked into your eyes "This ok? " he asked not wanting to do anything without your permission (COZ CONSENT IS FIT)

He uooked his thumbs into the band of your jeans to indicate what he meant, not that he needed to though.

You nodded your head

"Words sweetheart. I won't do anything without verbal consent " he said slightly cautiously

"George? "

"Mhm"

"Ruin me" you whispered seductively

His lips smashed down onto yours as you both made out passionately. He brought his knee up and settled it between your legs putting the much needed pressure on your aching (and now dripping wet) pussy.

"George please" you said breathlessly, wanting more.

He took action heeding your request and gradually you began to undress each other as you continued to kiss.

George stopped the kiss his hands on your bra clasp. He looked in you again, looking for consent. You gave a small nod and he took off your bra (with a tiny bit of difficulty) and threw it to the side. He stared at you completely dumb struck

"You're fucking gorgeous" he said kissing the valley between your breasts

You chuckled your breath hitching slightly at the contact "you're not to bad yourself" you said staring at his abs

He grinned and started kissing his way down your body. He stopped came back up and began to knead your breasts with his hands.

You let out a soft breathy moan, which spurred him on further. You had very sensitive breasts so every touch felt like heaven. He began to play with your nipples alternating between sucking on your right nipple and kneeding your left breast one minute then sucking on your left nipple and kneeding your right breast the next minute.

After about 5 minutes of this he moved back up to your lips and began making out with you again, eagerly you met his lips and kissed him back. His moved away from your lips slowly kissing his way along your jawline and finding the sweet spot on your neck and sucking on it leaving a (very dark) hickey behind and making you moan softly at the sensation.

After making a few more (noticeable) hickeys on your neck, he slowly kissed his way down your body keeping eye contact with you the whole time. When he got to your knickers ((panties if you're American)) he asked

"May I? "

"Yes" you said "please,... Be my guest"

He smiled and took your knickers ((again panties if you're American)) off and spread your legs gently with his hands. He looked you in the eyes before dipping down and slowly licking the length of your pussy. You let out a moan and thread your hands through his hair, not to push him just to have your hands there.

"Fucking gorgeous girl" he said, more to himself but it made you blush nonetheless

After a few more slow licks, he started to speed up. Focusing on your sensitive clit he alternated between circles and flicking your clit with his tongue. Every now and again he dipped his tongue into your cunt and tested your hole. He would start and stop his actions alternatively so when he started again it was a pleasant surprise that made moans and profanities spring from your mouth. You noticed you were coming close to your orgasm and chased it, you began to slightly buck your hips into him whilst your moans and the string of pleas' and sweet nothings became more frequent and louder . He lapped at your pussy faster and your moans were now just endless strings .

You felt a knot forming in your stomach as he focused all of his attention onto your bundle of nerves

"Gorge... " you moaned out your hands curling into his hair

He seemed to understand and started sucking on your clit and brought up two long slender digits and began to pump two fingers into your (now drenched and dripping) pussy. You felt the knot get tighter and tighter until it almost snapped.

Just as you we're about to cum George stopped much to your dismay

"George please" you whimpered

"Shhhh I've got you love " he cooed as he brought your legs up onto his shoulders and used one hand to arch your back wonderully. He delved back into his actions faster than before and your nerve ending we're deliciously tingling, every part of your body tingling in anticipation. The new position brought you onto new levels pleasure and after another minute off all this the coil that had been getting tighter and tighter and tighter finally snapped.

You tilted your head head back letting out a loud moan your thighs shook around his head . He continued his actions relentlessly and you were sure he sped up.

"Fuck George I can't.. " you whimpered, begging to get overestimated

He lifted his head his chin covered in your juices, "c'mon love give me another one you can do that for me can't you? "

"Okay" you said

"Good girl" he said as he went straight back to his assault on your pussy.

He pushed up a bit with his hand, arching your back more as he hummed into your pussy sending vibrations through your body. It didn't take long for you to cum again as you were still extremely sensitive from your last orgasm.

The coil snapped again and you came, hard, your thighs shaking again and your hands gripping onto the bed sheets and you let out a string of (almost pornographic) moans, praises and profanities.

He slowed his actions wanting to fully milk you of your orgasm before stopping and wiping his ching with his fingers and then sucking them clean.

"God you taste amazing" he stated almost dreamily

Panting you said  "you're good, like.... Really good"

He grinned and replied "it's only going to get better from here"

"Fuck I don't know if I can come again" you said uncertain as you were already overstimulated

He moved back up to your dance and put a finger underneath the tip of your chin and kissed you softly and gently.

"Don't worry love, I'll go gentle with you"

He unbuckled his belt and took his trousers off discarding them somewhere near the foot of the bed on the floor. He pumped himself a couple times before you sat up and moved his hand out the way.

"Let me" you said, wanting to repay the favour

He gave you a nod leaning back onto his elbows and you started pumping him up and down slowly. He hummed in appraisal as you spread up your actions.you leant down and took his cock into your mouth taking him completely

"Fuck" he moaned as he tiled his head back closing his eyes.

Your deal throated him until he nearly came and he put a hand in your hair stopping your actions

"Keep going like that and I'll finish before I'm inside of you"

You stopped and sat back up and he did to before leaning over to get a condom out of the draw on the night stand.

"Wrap it before you tap it" he grinned and slid the condom on his dick

You laughed lightly. He put his hand on your hips gliding you to lay down and you complied and one again he was on top of you.

He hovered over you his penis at your entrance

"You ready? "  he asked cautiously

In answer to this you flipped the two of over so you were on top and you slid onto his dick, completely bottoming out the both of you letting out a loud mian. You gave your self a minute adjusting to his size, he was a bit bigger than  the guys you've been with before.

"I take that as a yes" he said breathless pleasantly surprised by your actions

You began to ride his dick your hands ghosting his soft ripple of abs. You were slow at first then gradually became faster. You were both letting out streams of moans and saying sweet nothings to each other as you both neared your climax.He became needy and he started to thrust his hips up to meet yours and you started thrusting in sync.

He bought his hand to your pussy to stimulate your puffy overused clit further with his fingers and in return you kissed him slightly biting his bottom lip with the overstimulation of pleasure , your hand threading through his hair, almost massaging his head.

As you both neared your climax your motions became sloppy and out of sync. He came first , groaning out your name as you continued your actions until you came every nerve in your body deliciously burning, your pussy clenching around his dick as pleasure harshly ripples through you as you cane for the 3rd time that night just this time you came around his cock moaning out his name in vice versa.

You collapsed beside him both of you panting. "Best. Ive. Ever. Had" he stated firmly threading his hand through yours and interlocking your fingers.

"You took the words right out of my mouth" you replied

After about 5 minutes of the two of you you just laying there catching your breath and restoring your heart rates to normal he sat up.

"I'm gonna go clean up in the shower..... Care to join" he said"I would love to" you replied

------------------------------time skip :)---------------------------------

After the two of you showered and dried yourselves off (he mostly took care if you since you could barely walk)  you walked (actually he carried you bridal style) back into the dorm.

"You can borrow some of my Pj's if you want" he offered placing you gently on the bed and pulling out to pairs of PJ's

"You want me to stay the night? " you asked surprised

"Umh..... Yea! Obviously" he said as though it was the most abvious thing in the world

You grinned "chuck us the PJ's then"

He laughed throwing them to you "Y/N you can stay any night you want"

"Thanks" you replied putting on his PJ's. Obviously they were too bug for you but you didn't didn't mind as they were comfy. You both got into his bed (him spooning you from behind) and you both fell asleep after about another half hour of just talking about nothing.

A/N: second time writing smut I'm pretty sure it's shit but who cares. If you have constructive criticism PLEASE feel free to comment thank you so much for reading and please request because I'm bored.

Love from me ❤❤

[helloalycia]

first friend [two] // yelena belova

summary: when you convince Yelena to go out with the flirty barista serving you, you begin to realise that you may actually like her yourself.

warning/s: mentions of a breakup, shitty girlfriends and the mildest of angst.

author's note: here’s the second and final part! who doesn’t love a bit of yelena? i’ve got a multi-part alicia clark imagine coming up next 🥰

part one / masterlist / wattpad

Whenever bad things happen, everybody thinks it's the worst it can be and that they'll never get out from it. And that was exactly how I felt with the whole Thomas situation. Turns out all I needed to do was share my feelings with somebody.

After Yelena discovered the truth about our break up, it became a lot easier for me to move on from it. I didn't feel like I was holding it all alone, and if I ever did feel lonelier than usual, she was always there for me to call.

I was surprised she didn't do something horribly irreversible or probably illegal to him in some form of payback, considering she was still very much pissed about the whole thing. I'd made it clear I didn't want her to, and I was very appreciative of her listening to me.

A month passed and I didn't even care for Thomas anymore. It was easy to let it all go, to an extent. I tried to focus on myself again and appreciate what I did have in my life. And one of those things was Yelena, of course.

We were out on a coffee date during our lunch break one day. It was nice to get out of the Compound, especially during the few breaks I got, and Yelena happened to be mission-free so was able to join me.

"Sorry, one second, my phone keeps vibrating," she said when we were mid-conversation.

I waited patiently, watching as she quickly flicked through her messages.

"Who is it?" I asked, before sipping my iced coffee.

She sighed, tapping away quickly before locking her phone. "Just Nat. She can't find her hoodie."

"Oh, d'you know where it is?"

"Uh-huh."

I quirked a brow. "And you told her?"

"I told her I don't know," she said casually, before slurping her fruit drink.

I tried not to laugh as I glanced at what Yelena had on. "Is it the hoodie you're wearing by any chance?"

She didn't respond, but a smile curled on her lips as she met my eyes playfully. I chuckled, shaking my head at her silliness.

"I don't know how you're so confident lying to her. When she finds out, she'll be so angry," I said.

"She doesn't scare me," she answered with a shrug.

I raised my eyebrows in disagreement. "Seriously? She's intimidating as fuck! The Black Widow!" When Yelena didn't seem to agree, I scoffed quietly. "Honestly, I probably never would have talked to her if it wasn't for you. She's scary."

Yelena snorted with amusement. "Please. Natasha is the least intimidating person ever. Even you're more intimidating than her."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Of course you're saying that. You're her sister after all."

Enthused, Yelena leaned back in her seat and eyed me curiously. "I'm now wondering what you thought of me when we first met."

"Well, I thought you would be intimidating," I began, suppressing the urge to smile, "but then you came in because of a bad mission report and started pouting like a baby when I corrected you. So, from there, I knew you were harmless."

She opened her mouth with disbelief, lifting an eyebrow. "Wow. Seriously?"

"You're a softie deep down, I know it," I said convincingly, and she tried not to smile but it was impossible.

"Whatever," she mumbled, avoiding my eyes.

I grinned at her pout and the fact that she was only proving my point. "It's true! You would do anything I ask. Soft–ie."

She scoffed under her breath, crossing her arms, only making me laugh. I knew it and she knew it, but it was okay. That was why I loved her.

"Sorry to interrupt, but are you finished with your food?" a waitress asked, stopping by our table.

"No worries, that's fine, thanks," I said to her politely.

She smiled, nodding, before stacking them and saying, "Can I get you any dessert?"

I shook my head, but Yelena bit her lip as she glanced at the dessert menu sticking out between the salt and pepper shakers.

"Hmm, maybe," she mumbled, before pulling it out to have a proper look.

I crossed my arms and leaned back in my seat, amused. Of course she'd want dessert.

"You know, the chocolate cake here is very good," the waitress recommended, leaning down slightly to point it out on the menu to her. "Or if you're not a cake person, there's pie."

"That looks pretty good actually," Yelena agreed, nodding slightly.

"Something sweet for someone sweet," the waitress flirted, glancing at Yelena with a smile.

Either oblivious or not knowing how to react, Yelena clapped her hands together and nodded. "Well, I can't say no to that. Can I get a slice of your apple pie with some ice cream, please?"

"You got it," the waitress agreed, eyes lingering on Yelena a lot longer than normal, before collecting our plates and leaving.

I raised my eyebrows, trying not to laugh, as I looked over to Yelena with disbelief. Feeling my stare, she looked up and raised her chin.

"What?" she questioned.

I glanced over at the waitress who was behind the till getting her pie, and then back at Yelena. "What? Seriously? Did you not see what I just saw?"

Confused, Yelena tilted her head. "What? The picture of the pie? It's on the menu, Y/N, of course I saw it."

I tsked, shaking my head, before giving her a knowing look. "That waitress, idiot! She was totally into you!"

Taken aback, Yelena shook her head. "Pfft, no she wasn't. You're seeing things."

I rolled my eyes. "Yelena. She was literally checking you out."

"She was taking my order, that's all," she disagreed, getting comfortable in her seat. "It was good customer service is all."

I snorted. "Okay, whatever you say."

The waitress soon returned and gave Yelena her dessert, and not without checking her out yet again. Yelena glanced at me disapprovingly when I gave her another look, but said nothing else. We chatted for a little longer, her enjoying her dessert and me finishing my drink, before my lunch break was over and I knew I had to get back.

The same waitress – whose name tag read Andrea – gave us the bill and let us split it. But just as I predicted, she wrote a little something extra on Yelena's card receipt and slid it over to her before leaving.

"It's her number," I said with amazement, laughing when I put my jacket on. "I was freakin' right! God, I'm good."

"Maybe you were," Yelena said with mild surprise, looking at the receipt, before putting it in her pocket. "Probably won't do anything with it."

I quirked a brow. "Seriously? You should talk to her. She seems nice. And she was definitely interested in you."

Yelena considered it, glancing at the till where Andrea was serving another customer.

"It's really easy," I assured her, realising she'd never dated before because of her past, and so this would all be new to her. "No pressure or anything. Just approach her and say hi. And then the rest will play out itself."

"I don't know," she said, looking back to me with disinterest.

"Yelena, go over there," I said with encouragement. "You'll be fine. Promise."

She hesitated, watching me as if searching for confirmation. When I nodded, she took a deep breath and went over to the till. I smiled as I subtly watched their conversation, too far to hear anything but it looked like it was going well. Yelena was smiling shyly which was rare with her, and Andrea seemed to be enjoying the attention, checking her out and flirtatiously touching her hand on the counter.

Without thinking much of it, my smile faded when I saw just how flirtatious she was acting. It was a little icky to witness and left an unpleasant feeling in my stomach. I think I felt... jealous? Which was stupid, because I'd literally talked Yelena into going over there and I had no reason to be. But seeing it all play out was a different story, and a small part of me wanted to yank Yelena away and forget this ever happened.

It was a momentary feeling, strange, and I tried to ignore it. She was my friend and this was the first time she was putting herself out there – I was merely being overprotective.

Though, when Yelena finished her conversation and left with slightly pink cheeks, I realised it might have been more than a little jealousy I was feeling.

Trying to push that to the side, I plastered on a smile as we walked out the store. "So? How did it go?"

Yelena shrugged, smiling a little. "Alright. You were right. She was nice. I said I'd call her."

"That's great," I said, sounding excited for her, but I wasn't too sure I actually was.

"Enough of that anyway," Yelena said, giving me a sideways glance. "We don't want you back to work late. Let's go."

"We've got time, don't worry about– woah!"

I was cut off when Yelena put her hand out across me, stopping me from walking further forward. A cyclist suddenly sped past us, inches away from knocking me down if she hadn't stopped me, and I widened my eyes with surprise at the suddenness of it all and also the feeling of Yelena's hand protectively over me because she still hadn't let go, even when she yelled out a string of Russian curse words to the cyclist. It was kind of attractive, admittedly, seeing her so protective, and that's when I realised...

Oh, no.

"Are you okay?" she asked, finally dropping her hand and looking to me with concern.

I swallowed uncomfortably, avoiding her eyes. "Yep. All good here. Thank you."

She breathed out with relief, squeezing my arm gently. "People can be such idiots."

She began to rant about how inconsiderate some cyclists could be when riding on the pavement, but I was barely listening. The realisation that I may be attracted to my best friend was enough to silence me for the rest of the walk back to work.

It didn't long for me to realise that, yes, I do in fact like my best friend.

Though I tried to pin it down to a momentary lapse of judgement, or a mere appreciation for the beauty that was Yelena, I knew it wasn't that. More so when she actually began to see Andrea outside of the coffee shop and went on a few dates with her. The jealousy that went through me was too fierce to be purely platonic. And I hated that I only noticed too late.

Despite this, I tried to be as supportive as possible, especially because it was Yelena's first true taste of a relationship. There was a chance I was finding things to pick on without meaning to though...

"She's just really nice," Yelena was telling me one day after another date she'd been on. Her smile was permanent and she was gushing, making me feel icky because it was about someone else. "We went bowling and it was simple, but she makes me feel good. I didn't think it was possible, you know? I'm usually the one who doesn't feel like this, but something about her..."

She sighed contently, probably falling into a daydream about her, and I couldn't exactly do anything about it because I was the one who pushed her to go out with her.

"Does she know who you are?" I asked, trying not to seem too interested, when deep down I hated the irrational jealousy in me.

She shook her head, trying not to laugh. "I'm not stupid. Of course she doesn't. As far as she's aware, I work in admin at S.H.I.E.L.D."

I narrowed my eyes without meaning to. "So, my job."

She grinned, winking. "Exactly!"

I shoved her arm gently from across the table. "Just be careful. She's still new and you don't want to let anything slip up."

She gave me a disapproving look. "Y/N, I think you forget I'm a fully trained assassin. I don't let things 'slip up'."

I rolled my eyes. "Still."

And that was only the start. The more dates she went on, the more unreasonably jealous I was becoming. I tried my hardest to be supportive, but it was hard seeing her be so happy with someone else.

I wasn't sure how I'd never looked at Yelena in this light before, especially when she'd been nothing but kind and caring towards me. Probably because I was in a relationship, but now I wasn't and she was, so everything was the wrong timing. Whatever it was, I just knew that now I'd become aware of how great she was in a more-than-a-friend kind of way, it hurt seeing her with someone else.

But, like I said, I was nothing short of supportive. I helped her get ready for her dates, I gave her advice whenever she asked for it, and I even hung out with Andrea whenever they invited me. She was just as nice as she was at the coffee shop, except now I hated everything about her for the sole reason that she was dating Yelena and I wasn't.

It was a horrid feeling, jealousy. But I tried not to let it get the better of me. Yelena was in her first proper relationship and she needed support, not bitterness.

Unfortunately, as time passed, there were a few times when Yelena and Andrea would have plans and Andrea would cancel last minute, unaware of the way Yelena's feelings would drop in an instant. Or sometimes, we'd all be grabbing lunch together and she'd cut Yelena off mid-story, highjacking it with her own. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not, and Yelena never seemed to mind, so I didn't comment on it. But I always thought about it, hoping it wasn't my jealousy just picking things to hate on.

I knew I wasn't just seeing things when it happened again, though this time it was their two month anniversary (whatever the hell that meant). I was helping Yelena get ready at hers, doing her hair for her and listening to her ramble all about what she had planned and what restaurant she'd booked for the evening. She looked stunning, I wouldn't lie, but even more so because of the sparkle in her eyes and the glimmer in her smile when she talked about Andrea. As much as I disliked the girl, she made Yelena happier than I'd seen her. And as much as that broke my heart, it warmed it, too.

"So, the waiter said he'd prepare this special chocolate cake that's cut into a heart–" she was telling me as I put some pins in her hair to keep it out of her eyes, but was cut off by her phone ringing.

I passed it to her from behind me on the bed, happening to catch the caller ID as Andrea's. When she saw it, her face lit up and she answered it.

"Darling, hey!" she greeted, making me insides turn uncomfortably. There was a pause, then Yelena continued, "I'm almost ready and I'll come to pick you up. It's a surprise after all." She laughed, but then she fell silent, listening intently.

I finished her hair and smiled at my handiwork before taking a step back, only to realise the lovely smile on her face had disappeared.

"No, I understand," she said, voice lacking the same excitement it had all evening. A fake smile was on her lips as she looked down, playing with the hem of her dress. "It's okay, don't worry. We can reschedule. It happens all the time. Just a mix up, I know."

I frowned, wondering what was up, before watching her say her goodbyes and hanging up. It was quiet and she didn't say anything, so I decided to speak up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked gently, moving around so I could see her face.

She nodded, faking another smile as she met my eyes briefly. "Yes, but Andrea won't be able to go out this evening."

I raised my eyebrows with surprise. "What do you mean? You've got a whole plan. I thought you were picking her up."

She bit her lip, looking away. "She didn't realise she'd promised she'd go out to a party with her roommate tonight. Mixed up the days."

Without thinking twice, I said, "What the fuck? That's rude."

Yelena shook her head, visibly upset but defensive. "No, it was just an accident. Her roommate needed a wing woman and she promised she'd go. She said she'd make it up to me."

"Yelena, that's not an excuse," I told her with furrowed brows, not recognising this version of my friend. "It's your two month anniversary, right? You both knew the date. She should have cancelled with her friend and chose you."

"Y/N, just leave it," she said quietly, before standing up and taking out the pins in her hair.

"No, I won't leave it," I said, earning her attention. "This isn't the first time she's cancelled on you last minute. You put a lot of effort into tonight and she should be here!"

"It's not a big deal," she defended again, and it frustrated me to no ends because if the roles had been reversed, Yelena would have killed the person who did this to me. But ever since she'd dated Andrea, she'd become submissive.

"It's a dick move, Yelena!" I exclaimed, and she clenched her jaw. "She's a–"

"Don't," she warned, shooting me a look. "Don't talk about her like that."

"You always defend her," I said with disbelief. "Yelena, she does this regularly! And not just this."

"Oh, just say how you really feel," she said sarcastically, turning to walk to her wardrobe so she didn't have to look at me.

"Ever since you began dating her, it's like you've changed," I finally told her what had been on my mind. "She makes the decisions. She tells you what to do. She cancels, she takes advantage of your patience and you let her! That's not what a relationship is!"

"Stop talking badly about her!" she shouted suddenly, spinning around to glare at me. "I don't know where all of this is coming from, but stop it! It's not your place, Y/N!"

"Yes, it is!" I shouted. "She's a shitty girlfriend, Yelena! Who the hell leaves someone alone on their anniversary?! And for what – a dumb party?! That's fucked!"

"Stop it! You–" She began to curse in Russian, looking up with frustration, before settling her fiery stare at me. "You're the one who told me to date her!"

I scoffed. "Well, that was before I knew how badly she'd treat you."

"No!" she yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at me. "Stop it! You don't– fuck! You don't get to say all of this now! Not when–!"

Stopping herself, she squeezed her hand into a fist and looked the other way. I hated that she couldn't just see how badly she was being treated, how she couldn't believe me when I told her.

"Whatever, enjoy your cancelled date," I told her with a frown, before grabbing my phone and leaving her place.

So much for being supportive, I guess.

THIRD PERSON POV

"She's just being such a– such a–"

"A concerned friend?" Natasha filled in for her sister, making the blonde groan with frustration.

"Why are you sticking up for her right now?!" Yelena exclaimed. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Sorry," Natasha apologised, hardly meaning it.

Since Yelena burst into her room at the Compound the following day of her cancelled date, ranting about how rude Y/N was being and how she didn't approve of Yelena's relationship, Natasha was forced to hear it all.

"She doesn't get to comment on this!" Yelena continued to rant, more upset than angry, Natasha noticed. "I waited for her, for crying out loud! I– fuck, I was in love with her and she didn't see that, so no! She doesn't get to tell me what my relationship is."

"I mean, regardless of all of that, she wasn't wrong," Natasha commented, wondering if she'd regret it given Yelena's current emotional state right now. "The way Andrea treats you... it's not how a relationship is supposed to be."

Yelena narrowed her eyes at her sister. "Are you just team Y/N all the way now? Didn't know you loved her so fucking much."

Natasha ignored her bitterness and continued, "I'm not taking sides, Yelena. But I've seen how Andrea treats you, heard from yourself how she treats you. It's a dick thing to do."

Yelena clenched her jaw. "You've never said this before."

Natasha sighed, looking over her cup of coffee and to her sister. "I didn't want to get involved in your first relationship. It's something you had to figure out yourself. But Y/N... she cares about you and said it first. She's right. You deserve better, Yelena. And you're only not listening to Y/N because you're holding a grudge at the fact that she didn't love you back. That she didn't know you loved– love– whatever it is, her. But that's not fair to hold against her when she doesn't know. You didn't tell her and that's on you. Not her."

Yelena began to unclench her jaw and looked away, her anger fading and being replaced with hurt. There was truth to Natasha's words, she knew that, but she couldn't accept it just like that. It wasn't fair. She waited for Y/N. She wanted her. And when she finally had her chance, Y/N convinced her to ask Andrea out instead. All Yelena ever wanted was Y/N. It should have been her.

It wasn't fair.

YOUR POV

Yelena and I had never argued before, not like this. Small, stupid, petty arguments, sure, but never this. I hadn't seen her as angry as I had that evening. We hadn't gone this long – a whole week – without speaking, ever.

I missed her.

After being left alone to replay that evening over in my head, I knew I shouldn't have snapped like I did. Letting my concern and jealousy both get the better of me like that... it wasn't fair on Yelena. She didn't know how I felt, she couldn't have, and I was the one who talked her into dating Andrea. I couldn't take it out on her like I was, so I knew I needed to apologise. And tell her the truth, even if it meant saying goodbye to our friendship forever.

I went to visit her at her apartment, hoping she'd be in and also actually let me see her. Sucking up a deep breath, I knocked on her front door and waited. Finally, the door opened and Yelena was standing there, certainly surprised to see me. She didn't look like she wanted to punch me in the face, which was a positive sign...

"Hey," I said, embarrassed at how quietly it came out. Clearing my throat, I repeated myself, "Hey. Hi."

She pressed her lips together, green eyes flickering between mine. "Hi. I didn't expect to see you here."

"I know, sorry for showing up unannounced." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I understand if you want me to leave, but I came here because I want to talk to you. I need to apologise, Yelena."

She raised her eyebrows, clearly surprised. "I see. It's funny you say that. I was actually going to visit you. I wanted to apologise also. And talk."

I was surprised, not expecting to hear that, and as much as I was curious about what she felt she needed to apologise for, I knew I needed to go first, it already on the tip of my tongue.

"Can I come in?" I asked nervously.

She nodded, stepping to the side. I let myself in, stopping in the hall and not inviting myself in any further.

"Y/N, I–" she began after closing the door behind me, but I cut her off instantly.

"Please let me go first," I pleaded. "I have to tell you something important. It can't wait."

She nodded reluctantly, eyes locking on mine as she waited for me to speak. This was it. The truth. Possibly the last exchange I could have with her if it went so badly.

"Firstly, I'm sorry for how everything went down between us last week," I said with a frown. "I shouldn't have flipped on you like that without warning. What I said... it could have been said better, at a better time and in a better place. But Yelena... it's true. I don't want to see you being used like that and forgotten about. You're amazing and you deserve the world."

She looked down at her shoes uncomfortably, and I worried I was going too far. But I sucked it up and powered through.

"The reason I was so bitter about it was because I was concerned as your best friend, yes, but also because I was jealous. I'm in love with you, Yelena."

Shocked, she looked up at me, eyebrows raised. Realising what I said, I cursed inwardly and tried to backtrack. That wasn't how I planned to tell her.

"Sorry," I said quickly, "that's not fair. You're in a relationship and–"

"We broke up," she cut me off abruptly.

I blinked, confused. "What?"

"That's what I was going to tell you," she said softly. "I broke up with her. You were right. I deserve better."

It was my turn to be surprised, eyebrows raised and her words digesting. "Oh."

It went quiet between us, our words hanging in the air, and I didn't know what else to say when she watched me closely.

"I've been in love with you for a long time," she finally spoke, taking me by further surprise.

"What?"

She released a deep breath, sad smile on her lips. "You never knew and I couldn't tell you because you were my first real friend. And I didn't want to ruin that."

She'd been in love with me this whole time? How was I so blind to miss it?

"Since when?" I asked, like it would make a difference, genuinely shocked by this revelation.

She swallowed thickly. "Do you remember that time when we went out to that sushi place? And I accidentally dropped the soy sauce all over you?"

How could I forget? It was shortly after we became proper friends and was the funniest thing to happen at a sushi bar. I smelled like soy sauce the whole afternoon at work but I didn't even care because Yelena was so embarrassed it was adorable.

"Yeah," I answered quietly.

"Since then," she said awkwardly, looking away.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I was too taken aback, overthinking every moment since that sushi date. She'd been in love with me for that long?

"Well, now what?" she asked nervously, a nervousness that was rare with her but reminded me she wasn't just the stoic assassin everyone thought she was.

I pressed my lips together, eyes studying her expression with intrigue. She was avoiding my stare, eyes glued to the ground, and I let mine fall from her bright eyes to the slope of her nose, the dip of her cupid's bow, the fullness of her lips. She loved me, too. But she wouldn't make the first move, that much was clear. Why wait any longer?

"Maybe I could take you out on a date," I offered, earning her attention. "A proper one. And I can show you how you're supposed to be treated. How you deserve to be."

I held my breath, portraying a confidence I definitely didn't feel inside. I was certain she was, too, the both of us awaiting an answer that felt like it wouldn't come.

And just at that moment, her phone began to ring.

Startled, she pulled it from her pocket and checked the screen before declining the call. Clutching it tightly, she looked up to me again, eyes flickering between mine.

"I–"

Her phone began to ring again, only making the nerves in my stomach tighten with each passing second.

"You should answer," I told her before she could decline it. "It could be important."

Reluctantly she nodded and let out an annoyed sigh, putting the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

I couldn't hear the conversation, but it sounded like her sister and there was a sense of urgency in her voice. Something must have been up. Yelena kept a passive expression, humming before promising to be there and saying her goodbyes.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," she said afterwards. "There's an emergency at the Compound."

I smiled, hoping she couldn't see my deflated expression, and shook my head. "No, it's okay. You go. I'll leave, too."

Turning around quickly with the only thought of mine to curl in my bed and sulk, I tried to leave, but Yelena grasped my hand and spun me back around. Before I could ask her what was up, she pulled me close and kissed me.

I closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around her waist like it was second nature, and kissed her back. It was gentle, lasting only a few seconds, but my cheeks flushed and my lips were tingling when she pulled away.

"I would love to go on a proper date with you," she muttered, a smile creeping on her lips. "It's all I've ever wanted."

I began to smile, too, speechless and breathless all at once. I could have stared at her for a long time, merely admiring her pretty eyes and heartwarming smile, but I remembered her sister's call and reluctantly pulled apart.

"You should go to the Compound, it sounded urgent," I told her.

As if suddenly remembering, she breathed out and nodded. "Right, yeah."

"Let me know if everything is okay and if we need to rearrange tomorrow," I told her, going to the door. "Be safe."

"I will," she promised, unable to stop smiling, just like me. "See you, Y/N."

"Bye," I said, bringing myself to leave because if I stayed a second longer, I knew I'd end up pulling her in for another kiss.

I left and the smile on my face was permanent, I was certain.

[basiccortez]

Forehead Kisses - R. Wheeler

pairing: Rip Wheeler x Dutton!Female genre: fluffy:) warnings: slight spoiler for season 4, but that's it. A/N: this is my first Yellowstone fic! So please, be nice to me I'm sensitive. Also, requests are open:) send 'em on in

Rip could tell from the jump that you were going to have a bad day. For one, you slept horrible. Every single toss and turn had him looking over at you. Rip was a light sleeper, which was both a blessing and a curse. He had tried to help you get to sleep by cuddling you, but you ended up just pushing him away.

Two, it was an overcast day. You loved the sun and hated the rain. Which was funny since you were a farmer's daughter, and farmers loved the rain. But you had told Rip once that the rain makes you sad and your joints hurt.

And three, Ryan just had to point out your sour mood. The second the words left his lips, Rip was closing his eyes and saying a quick prayer for the ranch hand. If there was one thing Rip had learned of the years working for the Duttons, it was to not piss off a Dutton Woman. You looked like you could kill Ryan with a look, and Rip was waiting for you to tear into him. But instead, he watched as your eyes clouded with tears and you turned on your heel to storm into the house.

"Oh shit," Rip said, and pushed off the railing of the pin.

"What did I do!?" Ryan asked.

"Better pray she doesn't tell her daddy and you have a job by the end of the day!" Rip yelled at him, before going into the house. Rip immediately went down the hallway towards your dad's office. You were the youngest girl of the family, and the princess. Anything you said or wanted, you got. If you told John that Ryan made you cry, Ryan's ass would be on the next ride out of here.

Instead, Rip's brown eyes landed on the bathroom door that was shut. He sighed, and wiggled the door handle, finding it locked.

"Sweetheart? You in there?" Rip asked, knocking on the door.

"Go away," You sniffled.

"Now you know I can't do that," Rip leaned against the door frame, "Against God's rules to leave a girl when she's crying."

"To hell with God."

"Well that's a sentence I never thought would leave your mouth. Now c'mon, honey, open the door." Rip heard the door unlock, but it never opened. You were also the most stubborn Dutton, getting that gene right from your father. Rip couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head as he opened the door. You were sitting on the closed toilet seat, tears still streaming down your face. The sight was enough to break Rip's cold heart.

"Oh sweetheart," Rip said, shutting the door behind him, "What's the matter?"

"I don't know," You cried and dabbed at the tears under your eyes, "I just feel like crying."

Rip kneeled down in front of you, and grabbed your hands, "This this has to do with the election?" The whole family had been on pins and needles since John announced he was going to run for governor. It was only a matter of time until someone in the family broke from the stress.

"Probably," You sniffled, "I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm such a mess."

"You're fine, sweetheart," Rip wiped a tear from your cheek, "It's okay. Tell you what, I'll take the day and we can head back to the cabin. I trust that Ryan can do something right and get today's chores done."

"You sure?"

"Of course," Rip said and leaned forward and placed a kiss on your forehead, "Now quit your tears, you're too pretty to be crying."

You smiled and wiped a tear, "You like it when I cry."

"Yeah, usually from me fucking you senseless, not when Ryan opens his dumbass mouth," A shiver ran through your body as flashbacks of your intimate moments with Rip filled your mind. You grabbed the collars of his shirt and brought him in for a passionate kiss. You pulled back and pecked his lips.

"Hurry, please," You said, against them.

"Yes ma'am."

[mandomaterial]

Forgotten pt.7

Pairing: Tonowari × Metkayina!Reader

Wordcount: 3k

Warnings: medical stuff, needles, unconsciousness, angst? Idk it doesn't seem angst to me-

Notes: Hiii this chapter doesn't have that much going on and the next ones should get a little better heheh maybe a liiittle more angst

hehehEHEHE anyway, please leave a comment cus i love chatting with u guys!! And i might make a few polls about whatever- how do u guys like Mr. Matthew? I dont wanna to spoil my plans so i won't say anything-

Pic not mine, credit to the owner!

Masterlist /// Previous /// Next

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Spider's footsteps echoed through the corridor as he made his way to your cell to visit you. He wanted to tell you that you would be moved to a new room; a better one; a more comfortable one. He was really happy that he could help you in this way, it wasn’t much but he was sure that you would like the change of scenery. As he got closer, the atmosphere shifted and he could feel that something wasn’t right. Quickly he jogged over to the control pad of your cell and unlocked it. The doors opened with the usual sound of metal scraping against metal but once he looked inside, it was empty.

Instantly panic flooded his senses, eyes blown wide and mind racing. Where were you?! What happened?! His eyes were fleeting across the room back and forth for at least two minutes. When he was absolutely sure that you weren’t in the room and that his mind wasn’t just playing tricks on him, he sprinted out of the room. He had no idea where he was running to so he just went where his bare feet took him. Circling the building, he looked in every room; anywhere he could think of, but you were nowhere to be found. His heart sank and he didn’t know what to do. He liked you, he found comfort in your presence and he didn’t want anything bad happening to you. Even though it was already horrible enough that you were being held captive in this place.

He sank to the floor and thought about what he should do now, hugging his knees and resting his head on them in silence. Just then he heard a pair of shoes clacking through the hallway. He didn’t bother moving, they’d just walk past him anyway, so he just sat there in silence. The two people came closer and closer, their voices also becoming clearer. They were talking about something and they seemed so excited about it as well. At least something was going right there. As they passed by him, he caught a few words that made his blood run cold.

“…I know right? I can’t believe that they just started. I heard that she’s been here for weeks already!” One said. “Well, maybe they just didn’t get the green light until now. What are they doing in there with her?” the other responded. “Not sure. I'm not qualified enough to work directly with the boss man Matthew, but he’s got her hooked up to lots of stuff so that she doesn’t go feral again.”

“She went feral?” “Yeah, started banging and scratching the one-way mirror. Scared the surveillance crew half to death.” the scientist chuckled when she saw the stunned look on her friend’s face. Spider’s eyes were blown wide in shock, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You were at the lab?

Not even thinking about it, he stood up and made a few hurried steps to catch up with the still-talking pair. He grabbed the woman’s arm to get her attention “Where in the lab are they keeping her?” He asked with a cold voice. The woman was pretty surprised and stuttered out the answer “W-when you go in, on the right there’s a sealed room. That’s where.” Spider let go of her and spared the two no second glance. His mind was set on finding you, and no one would stop him.

His feet carried him along the familiar path to the lab. Why didn’t he think of checking here? It doesn’t matter now anyway. He stopped right in front of the large door that led to the lab, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He didn’t know the passcode, what was he going to do now? Just then it opened and gave him quite a scare, not expecting that at all. He took a couple of steps back to let a few of the scientists pass him and then swiftly snuck in, hoping that no one noticed him. The lab was bustling with people, a slightly blue-toned light illuminated the room, making it look very sciency. Spider tried to clear his senses as he kept an eye out for the sealed room the lady from before told him about.

His bare feet made almost no sound as he turned to the right, hoping to see a new door pop up, and there it was. It looked quite ominous as if something frightening was hiding behind it. He approached it to see if he could open it, but no such luck. Looking up a little he found a small glass window that would let him look inside if he were tall enough. He huffed and got on his tip-toes to sneak a glance. Spider couldn’t see much, but he did see a man in a long white lab coat that was blocking his view. The man had his back turned to him and was looking at something on a large metal table. That’s when he noticed the large turquoise limbs hanging off it. He let out a little gasp as the man moved to the side.

It was you. Motionless, as if you were unconscious. Tubes were sticking to your arms and wires stuck on your chest, lots of machines making obnoxious noises as they tracked everything in your body. A mask was covering your face, so that you wouldn’t suffocate, and your hands were tied together with one of those orange slap bracelets. You looked miserable. The man in the lab coat came back into sight and he was holding a syringe filled with a clear liquid. He held it needle up and pushed down on it slightly so that there was no air in it. He took a few steps closer to you and just as he was about to inject it into your left shoulder, Spider started banging on the door. He couldn’t simply watch that creepy doctor inject you with some strange liquid! The doctor dropped the needle in surprise and whipped his head around to see who had disturbed him.

The doctor didn’t recognize the boy, but something about the boy intrigued him. He sighed and picked up the syringe, quickly disposing of it, now that it wasn’t sterile anymore. He took off his latex gloves and tossed them in the trash before walking over to the door and holding his key card against the pad, unlocking it. The door opened with a mechanical hiss and left no barrier between the two, the atmosphere stilled as they stared each other down. Spider didn’t back down as the man took a step closer to him, trying to intimidate him. The doctor sighed and ripped his temples with one hand.

“Can I help you?” He asked with a gentle voice. Not a second later Spider replied “What are you doing with her?”, while having a stern look on his face.

“Well at the moment, not too much. I’m just running a few tests, you know, this and that.” The doctor shrugged. He seemed all too calm about this situation and that made Spider freak out a little. How could he just run tests and experiment on her? Spider huffed and pushed the doctor aside as he made his way past him and into the room. The doctor didn’t even try to stop him as he walked closer to you. His fists balled as he took in the sight. You were barely breathing as you lay motionless on the cold metal table. You looked so different as if the life had been sucked out of you. Your face looked calm but at the same time miserable. Your hair was a mess, probably from how you were handled by the scientists. Spider raised his hand and touched your hair. It wasn’t the same style as when you arrived. He remembered the day you changed it, he had been with you after all. It had been a fun day, the two of you talked about the differences in hair maintenance between the clans. Braids were common for both but they were styled differently. You showed him how you braided your hair and told him stories about how you’d try out different styles on your daughter. She had such lovely hair, thick and curly; it took quite a while to do her hair. That day, you chose to mimic her favorite style, the front in several snug braids and the back open and flowy. Of course, you put your own twist into it and braided a few open strands that rested in front and behind your ears. When you showed Spider the finished product he couldn’t help but smile.

Seeing it so carelessly treated made his heart harden. These people didn’t acknowledge or respect anything you did. He whipped his head around to face the doctor, who was leaning against a wall and observing, giving him a death stare as he asked “Why isn’t she awake?”

The doctor pushed himself off the wall and walked to the boy, putting his hands in his crisp lab coat pockets. “Well, you know as well as me that she won't cooperate, so I have to keep her sedated. A shame actually, would’ve loved to get reactions from her. But, oh well, what else can I do.” He said it so casually as if he wasn’t keeping a living being from living a proper life. Hearing this made a fire start in Spider's heart. You couldn’t live like this? Your body would wither away, and what would happen to your baby? He had to do something to help you, but he had no idea what to do. So he just started talking to the doctor.

“How will she stay alive? Won't she starve?”

“You see that bag over here?” He pointed to a plastic bag that hung over your right shoulder, a tube being connected to your forearm. Spider nodded and the man continued “In there there’s everything her body needs to survive, so technically she doesn’t need to be conscious for as long as I need.

“What? You can't do that! She’ll die!” He cried. He didn’t want you to stay like this.

“Well I’ve been thinking of different ways to keep her calm myself, so maybe I’ll give her tranquilizer pills or something like that. Why are you so concerned about her? She your friend or somethin’?”

Spider averted his questioning gaze and replied “I know her. And you can't keep her here. It’s not healthy in her condition-“ he quickly shut his mouth. He shouldn’t have mentioned anything about you baby. What would he do if he found out? But it was too late. The doctor kept staring at him “What condition… tell me.” He gripped the boy’s shoulder and forced him to meet his eyes.

Spider wanted to smack himself for being so stupid- but that didn’t matter right now, he had to find a way to get out of this.

“Nothing, forget it.” He shook it off. “You can’t keep her here- like this. Take all those things off and let her go. You don’t need her.” He tried convincing the tall man. The man silently walked around the metal table, carefully tracing his fingers along your arm “Now why would I do that? She’s completely different- a new species and I get to discover her secrets,” he gripped your shoulder “and with her DNA we can grow new avatars, but those would be adapted to the ocean. That’s all great isn’t it, huh?” He grinned “So why would I want to stop all that? Maybe there’s something you can tell me, hmm?” The strange man had a dangerous jet playful look in his eyes and Spider realized that he’d been backed into a corner. If he wanted to help you, he had to tell the doctor about your child. Maybe he would show some sympathy.

Spider sighed, put on a brave face, and pressed his lips into a thin line. This could turn your fate for the better or the worse, it was quite risky to let go of this information. But he didn’t have a choice. His eyes met the doctor’s and he stood up straighter, trying not to show any weakness “She’s pregnant.”

Spider expected a reaction but he was met with silence. The two of them stared at each other for a few moments until the doctor broke the silence. “Well this changes things.” he said as he crossed his arms and turned to face you “Are you sure? How do you know?” Spider was a little uncomfortable with the situation, as he didn’t know what was going on inside the man’s head, was this a good or a bad sign? “Uuh- she told me. I spent quite some time with her.” he muttered “But you can't keep her unconscious- it's too cruel. She has to stay healthy, for the baby…” he tried and this time felt something change in the atmosphere. The doctor held one of his hands up and made a ‘come here’ motion. Spider followed the instruction and waited for the man to say something. He kept studying your face until he said “Okay, listen kid. I still have to do my job but I understand. We can compromise okay?” Spiders kept his eyes trained on him, awaiting his terms. “I’ll find a way to deep er conscious, but she has to stay calm okay? And you have to let me examine her, alright? I won't keep her at the lab but she has to come in every couple of days so we can test stuff okay? I won't do too extreme stuff- but if she resists, I have to sedate her again, you understand?”

Spider didn’t like those terms, but if he wanted you to at least wake up again, then he had to agree. So he did. With a heavy heart, he spoke “Alright, but you need to ask her before you do anything. I’ll translate if I can but if she doesn’t want to, you can't force her.” The man shook his head a little from side to side, as if he were in doubt, but threw him a nod in the end. “You also have to help me get her a better room.” Confusion shot over the doctor's face “What? Where has she been staying?” He wondered out loud.

“In one of those cramped cells. It’s horrible.”

The man's face scrunched up and he gritted his teeth “oof- that is horrible. I got locked in there once after an incident at the lab. I was quite a troublesome intern.” He chuckled “Okay, I’ll see to it that she gets a better room as well.” He raised his hand as if asking for a handshake.

“Do we have a deal?” He smiled while offering his hand. Spider hesitantly shook it and let go again just a few seconds later.

“When will she wake up?”

“Hmm?” The doctor seemed confused for a second “Oh right!” He shuffled over to the little metal stand that held another plastic bag. He twisted the little nob on the IV, cutting off the flow before carefully removing the needle that was placed in your arm. He gathered the tube and tied it together in a knot that looked well-practiced.

Afterwards, he walked over to the machine that stood behind you, it made a small beeping noise and was connected to the mask covering your nose and mouth. He pressed some buttons and turned it off. Spider was watching him curiously as he hadn’t seen this sort of machine in the lab before. The doctor noticed his questioning looks and started explaining what he was doing.

“This machine here is what’s keeping her asleep. It’s called an anesthesia machine” he gave it a little pat “pretty damn expensive too. This one came out of my paycheque cus I messed with the other one and broke it.” He gave an awkward little laugh. He didn’t say much more as he took the cables, tubes, and monitors off your body. All the while spider stayed silent, letting the doctor do his work. He was quite efficient and only a couple minutes later, everything was off you. Finally, he put a different mask over your nose "This one is Just connected to a filter so that she can breathe." He pointed to a black tube that was connected to the clear tube. Spider gave him a barely noticeable acknowledging nod.

The doctor seemed to be a little out of it, stuck in his mind, thinking. Spider didn’t want to bother him though so he just waited a little longer. Finally, he seemed to snap out of it, shaking his head a little and making eye contact with the boy. “So…” he rubbed his palms together “I’ll go see someone about the new room… she should wake up in about one to two hours. If she wakes up- well I don’t know… make sure she doesn’t hyperventilate?” With a final little clap, he started walking backwards to the door, struggling to open the handle with his back turned to it, so he awkwardly turned around and opened it. He stepped out, offered Spider a modest wave, and then disappeared.

The room was almost empty now, no more beeping and flashing machines and the only sound that filled the room was your gentle breath. Spider's eyes wandered from the door to you and stayed focused on your mask-covered face. He wanted to talk to you again, he missed your presence a little. It was embarrassing but he liked spending time with you, he even considered you his friend. He knew that he would be waiting for quite some time, so he let himself sink to the floor, leaning his head against the wall.

He wouldn’t leave you alone now.

[tojixz]

Masterlist ☆ Heart Without Beat Masterlist

HEART WITHOUT BEAT: Chapter One

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Reader

Notes: I'm so nervous about starting this series lol I hope it turns out to be something good. And also, I don't guarantee to post often! I've been so busy lately, so forgive me for future delays. One more thing, this chapter was more about contextualizing your childhood, so it can be kind of boring and shit, I really have a hard time starting stories but it will get better later on, trust me! 😭

Summary: You were in good condition in the way you were, without friends, alone, only you and your mother. But how will your life go from now that you've been thrust into a new group of children and those children turn out to be Toruk Makto's children?

Warnings: A little bit of a childhood panic attack, a little bit of blood… I guess that's all? Very distressed child.

Word Count: 4k

Ngaytxoa (n) - Acknowledgment of guilt and regret; apology

'Itetsyìp (n) - Daughter (term of endearment)

'Ite (n) - Daughter Sa'nu (n) - Mommy

Sa'nok (n) - Mother Yawne (n) - Loved

Next

Your mother used to tell you how important it was to have friendships and people to count on during your life. With them, you would never be alone. They would give you directions. But you didn't feel that way.

Having friendships, people important to you, meant that the time to leave would become more painful.

You hadn't lost that many until your present age as a child, only your father whom you also had no valuable memories of. And the reason you thought this way was nothing more than observing how lonely your mother sometimes seemed.

Many times you saw her with a rosary in hand, sad and shaken eyes, along with trembling lips, just whispering to the heavens about her daily life.

Whether she was saying this to the Great Mother, or to her late companion, you didn't know. However, you had no desire to feel that kind of pain. So you assumed that if you didn't have people to care about, you wouldn't suffer the pain of loss.

And that was what you said to your mother when she insists on making you socialize and, every time she was surprised by the way you, just a child, thought. Then she would always give him a tight hug, while murmuring in a voice loaded with sadness, 'It's unfair that you have to think like that.'

But you didn't really care. You always reassured her that as long as you were still together, you were the happiest person in the world. But this only resulted in a shaken look on her face, but as a child, you never understood why.

You were playing alone with some harmless forest critters near a tree, while your mother was nearby picking fruits and herbs for the day's dinner.

You heard footsteps nearby, but just assumed it was other people going about their daily activities, that is until you heard, "What is that stranger doing?"

"Playing with bugs, of course. After all, she doesn't even have the ability to make friends." Laughter followed after the not-so-hidden whispering.

Your ears flopped back and bent slightly at the words, but as usual, you didn't mind the comments and just went on with what you were doing.

You were used to it. It was wrong, but not unusual. The times you tried to talk to other children at your mother's request, it turned out that you didn't make a good impression with most of them. Being too quiet, too explosive and too alone.

You began to be nicknamed various things, and a horrible treatment for a child comes in the package.

Your mother didn't know these things, you didn't want her to know.

Telling her meant that she would have no peace with your worries, and this is definitely the last thing you wanted.

Nevertheless, what was their reason for acting this way? How important was their existence to give them the luxury of belittling you?

You didn't do anything bad, you just wanted to make your mother happy. Why did they make things so difficult?

"Hey weirdo. What are you doing?", one of the boys approached as he looked at you with a mocking look, his friends following right behind.

You didn't want to answer, but you knew how they worked, if you didn't answer, more headache would attract. "Nothing of your interest."

The boy let out an angry snort at the answer. Wanting to touch the wound even more, he didn't give up tormenting you as easily as you wanted him to. "Who taught you to talk like that? Don't you have a father to give you an education?"

You stopped what you were doing and just digested what he had said.

Your mother used to look at you and wonder how you, a small, innocent child, could think of isolating yourself for fear of loss. But if she heard what these so-called innocent children are saying to you now, don't you think she would continue to think that children are such pure beings.

You were once a pure child, a child just wanting to be a child. But from the moment you entered a new social cycle, you realized that the world can be very cruel sometimes.

You would definitely rather keep talking to the bugs on your planet than try to communicate with these ones behind you.

You inhaled deeply, doing your best to hold back the tears that had begun to fill your eyes. The last thing you wanted was to show weakness around them.

"What? Didn't they teach you to talk too-", before the boy could even finish his sentence, you found yourself unable to stop the punch that flew toward his face.

"Don't you ever talk about my father again!!! Do you hear me?! NEVER!". You were so angry, your heart was hurting and tears were wetting your cheeks, you were unable to hold them back. How pathetic.

You just stood there, looking at the boy on the floor who had a bloody nose as he slowly began to scream in pain. His breath was failing, ears glued to your head, and tail lashing out in pure hatred.

Not even a few minutes passed before adults were beginning to circle the area. A woman appeared in front of you grabbing your arm while shaking you. She was yelling at you, asking endless questions. Your arm hurt from the grip.

You were scared. You didn't want to cause your mother any trouble. You were an idiot.

You were able to catch a glimpse in the crowd of a woman trying to make her way through, and as you looked at her, more tears welled up in your eyes, followed by several silent sobs. Would her mother be disappointed to hear what happened?

"Stop, don't hurt her! Ma'Ite!", your mother immediately went to you and took you in her arms, cradling your head as you cried more and more into her neck. You could feel your mother's trembling hands on your head, her voice wavering as she tried to soothe you.

You didn't want to hurt her, you didn't want to see her sad. Your little heart ached to see your mother like this. "Ngaytxoa Sa'nu…", you murmured.

No longer aware of what was going on around you, you just focused your attention on your mother's smell and body temperature.

Would people hate you now? Would they throw you out of the clan? You didn't do what you did out of spite, they were the ones who were mean to you, what fault did you have?

Her mind was full of doubts and fears, but the comforting whispers of her mother were enough to calm her troubled spirit.

"She didn't mean to do that. I'm sure there was a motive behind her actions. She is just a child, please don't blame her."

You were able to hear your mother talking to someone nearby. Presently you found yourself backed into a corner, legs clasped to your chest and face hidden in your arms.

You only brought shame to your mother.

You knew that it would never work to try to settle down with the children of the clan, to make friends. But there was a desire in your heart to see your mother happy, you wanted to make your mother happy.

But you never did the right things.

Your mother was talking to the Olo'eyktan at this moment, who was alarmed because of the great commotion that started after you hit another child.

You prayed to Eywa that your leader would have mercy on you and not kick you out of the Omatikaya clan. Or at least allow your mother to continue living here, she had nothing to do with your actions, she didn't deserve to suffer even more.

Suddenly the next room was silent, and the next thing you heard were soft footsteps coming toward you.

You raised your head to look at the figure in front of you, meeting the gaze of your mother who held out her arms to you as she spread a simple smile on her lips.

"Come on yawne, let's go home." As soon as you stood up, she took you in her arms and placed a gentle kiss on your temple. Your heart warmed at the caress.

"Sa'nu…won't we have to leave?" You murmured, sniffling softly, reaching out your finger to play with one of the beads at the end of your mother's hair.

"Leave? Where to?", as you walked out of the place that appeared to be for Olo'eyktan meetings, your mother asked frowning slightly at your comment.

"From the clan. You see, I have done bad things, they will punish me."

"Oh my baby, no one will go away, we will not go away. They won't do anything to you, I promise."

You were silent for a few minutes, your eyes were beginning to heavy from the calmness you were feeling in your mother's arms. The day was full, you were exposed to many emotions and conflicts. Your little body was beginning to succumb to the overload of the day.

"I just want you to be honest with me, honey. Why did you do that? Mommy won't fight with you." Your mother slowly asked, just testing the waters. She could feel you tense up in her arms and it didn't help to ease her worries.

"It was nothing, really." You hid your face in the curve of your mother's neck. You believed that if she saw you, she would know immediately what happened and you didn't want that.

"Don't lie to your mother." When you finally reached the tent, your mother came in and immediately put you down to begin preparing something for you to eat.

You walked to a corner and sat there, just watching your mother's fluid movements around the tent. You were happy to be in a peaceful environment now.

Your mother let out a soft sigh, sitting down by the newly lit campfire as she peeled some of the fruit they still had stored there.

She was so distraught by the sudden commotion that began around her daughter that she forgot to pick up the items she had been gathering earlier. You were lucky that there were enough leftovers for a dinner party.

"Do you really plan to hide this from your Sa'nok?", she asked quietly, letting you answer in your own time.

You didn't answer right away, eyes beginning to glisten with new tears as you kept a sob from escaping your throat. Your mother was patient, she waited who knows how long until you finally plucked up the courage to say, "They were bad."

Your mother stopped her movements, digesting your words as your heart sank with the meaning. "Bad how?"

Again silence. You were afraid to say it, afraid of what might happen. You just wanted to forget everything and go on living as if nothing had happened. But you know your mother…she wouldn't let it go so easily, especially not after your previous statement. "They call me bad names…and make fun of me for not having a father."

Her mother didn't know what to respond. She didn't imagine that the simple fact that her father was not alive, united to your family, would be a reason for others to hurt her little heart.

She was not as naive as she seemed. She knew very well how cruel people can be, regardless of their age.

It was a fact that she wanted you to make good friends, your mother hated to see you lonely, playing only with her since you were born.

However, she didn't insist so much, because she knew the difficulty you had. But she didn't expect that the difficulty was because others weren't good with you. She hadn't paid enough attention to see how her daughter was suffering.

And this filled her inside with sadness. Your mother didn't know how to respond or how to comfort you. She only wanted you to have a happy childhood, just as she had promised your father, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you, 'Itetsyìp."

You looked up in surprise at your mother, who went back to preparing dinner again. "No, Sa'nok has nothing to do with it. It's not your fault." Your voice was a little shaky, your energy was depleted, but you needed to take this weight off your mother's back, none of this was her fault. "Please don't blame yourself."

Your mother sighed again, she noticed how you wanted to avoid the subject, she saw the weariness in your eyes and how your little body trembled slightly. Not wanting to burden you further, especially with your shortcomings as a mother, she decided to end the matter right there. "All right, let's not talk about it anymore. Now come, the food is practically ready."

A few days had passed since the accident with you and the other children. You and your mother didn't receive such good treatment after that, always being surrounded by rumors and gossip.

The truth is, they don't exactly respect you. They just looked up to the brave warrior their father was.

He would be disappointed by the way these people are acting. But it is how it is.

What you were avoiding ended up happening. Several women were glaring at your mother, keeping their children away from you, afraid that you would hurt them too.

Frankly, you were not a monster, you were just protecting yourself in that situation. But as always, people were too ignorant to know the truth, not much could be done.

Despite this, his mother slowly grew closer to Olo'eyktan's family, more specifically, to Neytiri, Toruk Makto's wife.

Neytiri also participated in the conversation between Jake and his mother, and she confesses that she wanted to punish you at first, thinking you were just another troublemaking child. But upon hearing your story, her soul was softened by the mother-daughter family.

The two became good friends and you were glad for it. Your mother was happier these days. The only problem was that both adults wanted to drag you into the Sully children's group, especially Neytiri, saying your kids were great children and would definitely be nice to you. But trying again was not an option.

"Ma'Ite, trust your Sa'nok, they are good children. Their oldest is your age, isn't that nice?", your mother had been trying for some time to convince you to go with her to the Sully family tent. She and Neytiri had arranged to have a little get-together to weave utensils while just catching up.

You were happy with that new friendship, but why were you also a victim?

"Sa'nok, I'll be fine on my own! I don't want to go." You said it again, arms folded across your chest as you gave your mother a dumb pout, trying your best to convince her. But again, it was inefficient.

Your mother knelt down in front of you, took your little hands in hers, and said, "Look, let's make a deal, you go this time, and if they're mean to you, you don't have to go anymore, how about it?"

Honestly, you wanted to deny it again and keep going against your mother's requests. But as you looked into her pleading eyes, you felt a twinge deep inside you. Your mother also seemed to be a child at times, and it was so hard to cope.

Her ears drooped slightly, tail wagging from side to side, conveying her disgust. But all that really came out of her mouth was a low murmur, "That's unfair…".

Your mother hugged you, a warm, loving hug. And then before she said anything, she deposited a kiss on your cheek, passing comfort and protection. "I will be there to protect you, hm? Sa'nu believes you will enjoy yourself."

You just nodded in affirmation. Your mother placed one last kiss on the top of your head, stood up, and took your small hand in hers to start down the path to the tent of the well-known Sullys.

When you got there, you promptly hid behind your mother's legs, while she had one of her hands on your head as a way of telling you that everything was fine.

Neytiri came out to welcome you, and soon her smile broadened as she saw the small child hiding behind her new friend. She made a nod of greeting to her mother, placing her fingers in the middle of her forehead and then pulling them apart. Then she shifted her focus to you. "Hello little one, I'm very happy to see you here."

You didn't know how exactly to respond to the older woman's greeting, so you just buried your face in your mother's leg for protection. You were a little embarrassed in the woman's presence, she was very beautiful.

Neytiri giggled at the innocent action and made way for you to pass. It wasn't exactly the family tent, but it was an open place full of trinkets. It was a comfortable environment where the noises of the forest were quiet and there was also good fresh air.

"My kids are just down there playing in the lake, Jake is looking after them too, you can go down and meet them", Neytiri said pointing to the lake below, sending you a reassuring smile in the process.

You took a step back shaking your head in denial. Starting to feel a sour taste in your mouth, you almost instantly regret agreeing to go there.

Noticing your distress, your mother's figure promptly crouched down to your level, placed her hands on your little face and soothed you. "'Ite. Ma'Ite, calm down. I'm here, see?", she slid a finger on your cheek, staring into your eyes so you could see that everything was all right. "Mama will be here all the time, there is nothing to fear. I promise, and Eywa can punish me if I'm wrong, they won't do anything bad to you, yes?"

She calmly brought her foreheads together, noticing how you were slowly starting to calm down, "I've met them before, they are such sweet children, give them a chance."

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and considering the options you had. You could just run away from there, get out of this confrontational situation, but your mother would be very hurt. Just you going there with her was enough to cheer her up. You had no right to take that happiness away from her.

And also, above all, your wish was to one day become a brave warrior, one of the best in the clan, just like your father. To have a strong and determined heart, to be respected and praised by all, like Toruk Makto.

But how would you do this if just the idea of having to talk to new people scared you? You would never be a good warrior at this rate, after all, there is no way to protect those you are afraid of.

So, with one last inhale of air, you replied in a voice almost like a whisper, "I will, Sa'nok."

Your mother turned away slightly to look at your small baby-fat face, a wide smile opening on her lips. "That's my little one." With a final kiss on your forehead, she lightly nudged you down to the lake, sending you a few more words of encouragement.

Taking one last look back, you've finally started on your way down to the lake.

What seemed like an eternity to you.

Arriving at the site, you were able to see Toruk Makto sitting on a rock near the lake, with a small baby girl in his arms. Her mother said that she was her recently born daughter, Tuktirey. And among the others, the oldest of them was your age, that is, eight years old. You were a little nervous about this, you believed that the younger the child was, the easier it was to handle.

That's because they were less intelligent than you.

You didn't know why, but your mother laughed the time you conveyed that line of thought to her. It was just the truth, wasn't it? She found it surprising how a child your age could think such mature thoughts. Well, they were probably what the circumstances demanded.

As you approached, you noticed how noisy the place was because of the shouting and laughing that the Sully children were doing. They seemed to be having a good time.

Jake was quick to notice your presence there and how hesitant you seemed to be to come any closer. He had been aware of your 'antisocial' situation when he first talked to his mother. Neytiri had also told him that if you ever had the courage to go to them, he should be kind to you and help you to integrate with your children.

So he thought that striking up a conversation with you would be the best option at the moment. "Hi little girl, did you come to play with the hurricanes over there?"

You were slightly startled to realize that the question was directed at you, but your face conveyed an image of confusion at the way he referred to his own children. 'They... were hurricanes?'

You didn't answer in words and just nodded. Jake smiled and held back the laugh he wanted to let out because of his nervousness, it would be mean of him if he laughed.

Then he looked again in the direction of your children and said in a loud voice, "Hey, there's a new little girl here who wants to play with you, be nice to her and include her in the game."

You froze. The three children's gazes were directed at you now. A horrible feeling settled in your stomach.

You still had a chance to escape. Run far, far away from there. But even your legs wouldn't allow it, being pinned firmly to the ground preventing any movement.

One of the children came towards you and stopped a few meters away. He seemed to be a few inches shorter than you, so you assumed he was younger. The boy stared at you for a few seconds, seemingly expecting you to say something, but seeing that you wouldn't, he quickly said, "My name is Lo'ak! Now that we've met, can we go play?"

"You skxawng, she hasn't even introduced herself yet!", the girl, who you assumed was Kiri from your mother's lines, went towards the boy and slapped him behind the head. You could tell that Lo'ak was not very happy with her sister's actions and started a little fight with her. You didn't know whether to laugh or be amazed at the situation.

Ignoring the other two, the eldest among them walked towards you, stopping just in front of you with one hand outstretched towards you as he introduced himself, "My name is Neteyam, it is a pleasure to meet you."

You looked at him with slightly wide eyes. You wanted to laugh at the way he sounded like an adult talking, even though you were the same age.

The other's presence aroused your attention by the way that a "responsible" aura covered him even at such a young age.

You didn't feel so afraid of this boy. He didn't look like a bad guy. At least not like those who had hurt you before. Maybe that was just the effect of being the eldest son of Toruk Makto, the Olo'eyktan of his clan. But Neteyam gave you confidence, and for just a second you allowed yourself to believe that this time there was a small chance it could really work out.

Imitating the strange action, you hesitantly shook his hand as you assumed it should be. With a smile on his face satisfied that you had responded to his actions, Neteyam asked you one last question to finally finish the 'rite' of friendship, and you found yourself secretly happy for the question. One you weren't used to receiving often by others. And so, maybe, just maybe, this time Eywa blessed her with great and good friends.

"So, what's your name?"

🏷: @mashiromochi

A thousand, a thousand pardons for any grammatical errors and if this chapter was really bad 🥲 my days are so busy. And also, as I said, I really have a hard time starting stories lol

Thanks for reading! 💞

｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡🍓｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡🍒

[alyswritings]

Snap

Request: Heyyyy<33 I was wondering if I could request a jj maybank x toddler!daughter one shot where he’s angry at something and he snaps at her and then he realizes what he’s done and he comforts her?? I really love your account btw!!💗💗

JJ Maybank x daughter!reader

Summary: JJ accidentally snaps at his daughter.

Warnings: swear words

a/n: thank you for the request! sorry it took a while to get out. hope you all enjoy!!

JJ had a tough day at work, the kooks at the country club getting on his nerves more than usual. He picked Y/N up from preschool and the girl hasn't stopped talking about how good her day was once.

They get to the chateau, Sarah and John B being the only ones there. Y/N is still talking as she follows JJ wherever he goes, the young father attempting to not explode. He goes to the bedroom, Y/N right behind him

After a few more minutes of Y/N still rambling as well as she can, JJ can't take it anymore.

"God, Y/N, I get it, you had a good day! I don't need to hear about every single goddamn detail! Would you just shut up for five fucking minutes?! I can't even hear myself think!" JJ yells.

He rubs his hands over his face in frustration, freezing when he hears a sniffle. He lowers his hands to see his four year old daughter's sad face, tears running down her face. His heart drops when he realizes what he did and the horrible things he just said to her.

"Baby--" He tries, taking a step towards her, but the girl is already halfway out of the bedroom and sobbing. "Wait, sweetheart, wait, please." He rushes after her. Y/N pushes the screen door open, running outside, John B and Sarah giving JJ matching 'what the hell' looks.

"Shit." JJ whispers.

"Dude, what the fuck was that?" John B questions.

"I don't-- I just lost it." JJ says, the guilt consuming him. He just reminded himself too much of his dad, something he never wanted to do. "Fuck." He whispers, running outside. He looks around for his daughter, panicking when he doesn't find her.

JJ is about to call the other two for help, but he hears a noise come from the chicken coop. JJ quietly makes his way over and the closer he gets, the clearer it becomes that the noise is somebody sobbing. Somebody he knows is Y/N.

JJ kneels down and opens the door to the chicken coop.

"Hey, princess." JJ gently greets. He slowly gets in the coop, sitting across from her with his legs crossed. "Hey, baby." He whispers, Y/N glancing up at him for a moment before avoiding eye contact.

"Baby girl, I'm so sorry. I didn't-- I didn't mean to yell at you... or to say any of those mean things." JJ tells her.

"You don't love me." Y/N sobs.

"No, no, no, baby. No. Baby, I love you more than anything." JJ grabs the sobbing girl and pulls her into his lap, his arms tightly wrapped around her. "I love you more than anything else in this entire world. I'm so sorry. I should not have snapped at you. I had a really bad day at work and I just lost it and that is no excuse and it was definitely not fair to you. I'm so sorry, baby."

"So you don't hate me?" Y/N sniffles, seeming to calm down.

"No. No, I don't hate you. I could never hate you. You know how you have tantrums when you get tired or angry? And I talk you through it to help you calm down?" JJ asks and Y/N nods. "It was like that. Daddy had his own little tantrum. I'm sorry."

Y/N seems to accept his apology, leaning into his chest.

"If you want to, I would really love to hear about the rest of your day." JJ says.

"Really?" Y/N asks.

"Really." JJ nods.

Y/N goes back into her ramble about her day at preschool, JJ listening to every word with a small smile on his face.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl

[a-wendellandwild-fan]

(Pre-Movie) Wendell and Wild headcanons #1

Kat.

My girl actually has a sweet tooth. Anything that's actually filled with sugar is the best.

She has insomnia due to the constant nightmares she gets from the accident. She reads or does other stuff to keep her distracted at night, until she passes out from exhaustion, usually from two to three hours.

After meeting Wendell and Wild, she talks to them through Bearzebulb or through her dreams. Hearing them talk about Dream Fair fills her with a weird sense of joy.

Somehow managed to be in "okay" terms with Buffalo Belzer. After she almost got killed by him, that is.

Introduced her favourite songs to the three demons and hasn't been a day without them asking her to replay some songs.

She wishes she's been there to see Father Bests get wacked on the head. Just saying.

She has her bad nights. Thankfully, she can hear Wendell sing to her while hugging Bearzebulb.

Raul.

The brick wasn't, in fact, loose.

He's the shortest king alive and Kat hypes on him for it. It became a joke between them.

Loves to draw Kat because, in his words, "she's pretty to draw".

He doesn't really have a favourite music genre. He just vibes with whatever starts playing on his phone.

Wishes he buried every single nun in that school when he had the freaking chance.

Somehow ended up being the school's "voice of reason" between his peers.

Once saw Wendell hanging in Kat's room but he's been having a hard time falling asleep so he said "Oh look a big cat" out loud. Kat remembers that beautiful moment every night.

Doesn't really talk to his parents anymore. Not like they used to before he came out to them, at least. He misses them, but knows better than trying to keep the bad people in his life. Just hoping things get better once he's out of that place.

Sister Helley.

Doesn't really have anything against demons. Just wishes people could cut her some slack.

She actually has a nice singing voice. It's really soothing and soft, so anyone can easily fall asleep if she started singing.

Her protective instincts are over the roof when it comes to Kat. She really thinks she's a sweet kiddo.

I don't really have much headcanon of her, so we'll have to wait until the movie comes out to make more!

Wild.

He's the eldest by, like, thirty minutes or so.

He's the sibling that resembles more like his father, except he actually has hair..

The poor thing used to be afraid for his brother's wings. When they were destroyed, there wasn't a night that he wouldn't stay up for him, keeping guard.

Actually learned how to make puppy eyes from Wendell. Best thing he learned so far.

Once stole everything from Walmart and has absolutely no regrets.

He's actually quite grateful for Wendell. He can't even imagine how boring life would be without him.

Wild thinks his brother deserves more attention. He's glad to see some humans seem to like him when they're in their respective human forms.

Wendell.

The lil shit memorized the whole "Cats" musical JUST to bother his father.

Hates his feet the most out of, well, everything. Doesn't really like anything from himself besides his tail.

He could talk for hours and hours to his brother about something he loves. And it always makes him happy how interested he is in his nonsense.

He didn't realised that he was really touched-starved until Wild and him comforted each other on one night they were feeling absolutely horrible. He doesn't remember crying that much before.

He doesn't really hate his father, he just wishes he was a better listener. Maybe resents him a bit.

He's the smartest brother, but loves being a goofball with his brother. He kinda loves not having thoughts—

Buffalo Belzer.

The man is an Elvis fan and ironically enough, one of his favourite song is "Love Me Tender".

Used to make his deep voice useful and in a playful tone to give his sons a "warning". After all, if they misbehaved, the tickle monster was going to get them.

People working for him can't really tell if he's a powerful demon, or actually one of the lowest ranks. Either way, that's a secret between him and his kids alone. And Satan, of course.

Actually terrified of human dolls. Nobody knows why.

His relationship with Helley is... Complicated. He's not afraid of her at all, but would rather not get on her bad side.

He's actually a really bad liar. Wendell and Wild usually take this to their advantage and make their father laugh.

Belzer loves belly rubs, no matter how small they are.

[coopermorrow]

Hi! Please, could I request a story about Kit Walker from American Horror Story x female reader where they comfort each other through something bad inside the asylum? Thank you.

Of course you can! Sorry it's so short. I also replaced Grace with Y/N in this scene since adding her to it instead would almost ruin the scene in my opinion.

COMFORT - KIT WALKER X READER

Characters: Kit Walker x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none, Lana not liking Kit

Contains: slight cursing

It was yet another day in Briarcliff Manor where things did not go how Y/N had hoped. Everyday she'd hoped that someone would finally realize that she was falsely accused, just like her newfound friend Kit Walker. Y/N had met Kit shortly after he'd arrived himself. She'd been thrown into the common room much like he was on his first day and he was immediately at her side to pick her up. The two had sat on one of the couches in the back and talked with each other until it was time to return to their cells. That was months ago and now I guess you could say they were the best of friends.

One thing the two had in common was that Sister Jude loved to punish them, whether it be for something small like cursing at her or for something bigger such as getting into a scuffle with another patient. They'd never had punishments together, always separate.

Today was different though.

Y/N was with Lana and Kit when they tried their escape. Y/N had planned this escape with Lana but she wasn't going to leave without her best friend. Lana didn't want to accept that. She wouldn't be responsible for letting a maniac out. So she screamed. Kit tried to get her to stop but it was no use. The guards had already heard her.

The next morning the two caught were ushered into Sister Jude's office where she waited with Lana by her side. Y/N's heart was pounding in fear of the punishment she was in store for today. She'd never done anything remotely this bad and her previous punishments were always horrible. How bad would this one be?

Kit seemed to notice his best friend's distress and nudged her with his shoulder. 'It'll be okay,' he mouthed to her. Y/N nodded though she didn't know how much she believed his statement.

The two were brought out of their short and silent conversation by Sister Jude who had 'tsk'ed at the two patients in hospital gowns.

"You two have been in here plenty of times to know what would happen if you tried to escape yet you did it anyway. So I think you should get a little more than usual." She slightly smacked the riding crop against her palm. "I think 50 each should be good. Don't you , Miss Lana Banana?"

Lana looked between Sister Jude and the two bent over the desk, bare bottoms hanging out for all to see. Just as Sister Jude was about to land the first smack of the crop against Y/N's behind, Kit nudged her.

"Get up. Come on, get up." He helped nudge the girl up and off the desk with his shoulder as they were both handcuffed behind their backs. "Y/N doesn't deserve any punishment, Sister Jude. It was my idea, not her's. I'll take her punishment."

Y/N looked at her best friend in shock. Why would he say something like that? It wasn't either of their ideas!

Sister Jude looked between Kit and Y/N as Lana just stood off to the side avoiding any and all eye contact. "Very well. Back into position, Mr. Walker. You know how this goes."

As Kit received the punishment, Y/N couldn't help but look away and flinch at every smack that was heard. A few tears almost escaped her eyes as she heard her best friend in distress. It felt like forever before the punishment was over but when it was everyone in the room seemed to feel relieved. The three patients were led back to the common room where Y/N helped Kit waddle over to their designated couch and Lana split off to sit at a table and smoke a cigarette.

As soon as Kit was sat comfortably on the couch Y/N smacked his arm. "Why would you do that?! You idiot!"

Kit flinched away from his best friend's fists of fury and chuckled. "Better me than you. Besides, it ain't too bad. Plus when we try to escape next time she won't think it was us."

Y/N's eyes widened. "Next time?! Kit, if we get caught again we could very much well die!"

"We're not gonna die, Y/N/N. I'll be there to save ya."

Y/N folded her arms across her chest and grumbled lowly. "I still don't think it was worth it this time. I don't like seeing you hurt, Kit."

Kit lifted his arm up around Y/N's shoulders and brought her in for a side hug. "I already told ya it's alright. I'll be healed up in no time. Having you here helps." Y/N smiled at Kit's words and hugged him back. "I'm always okay when you're here and I hope you feel the same way. I'm always gonna protect you, Y/N/N. Especially if it means me getting hurt over you."

Here it is! I hope you liked it. I'm not too well with writing dialogue and it was kind of hard to come up with a scenario from scratch so I chose one from the show.

[jessicatravelsamerica]

Tarot Card General Meanings

XVII The Star

We have made it through some heavy parts of the story and here we find my favorite card in the deck, The Star. Usually represented in the picture by a naked lady that adds to the healing waters and takes nothing, The Star is a message about hope. There is always hope. We lose hope easily as humans. It has been said that hope was left in Pandora's box and we are lacking that emotion.

I am generally an optimistic person. I am sun in Sagittarius and I am annoyingly optimistic to some of my friends. I can always imagine a creative way that things could work out favorably. The way I see it, you can be the most accurate Miss Cleo fortune teller and give me a heads up about some horrible ending, but we all have free will and whether Miss Cleo warned me or not, fate can change for one stupid reason or another so I like to believe the better outcome will happen. Most people are generally pretty decent and we can't let the bad experiences we do have make us think that we are only capable of having bad experiences. Maybe we should just learn from the unfavorable outcomes and strategically operate to try to give us different outcomes. Every time I make a mistake I learn what could happen when that mistake is made and I adjust my behavior accordingly.

I just want to say this also, while we are on the subject of The Star: Naked Ladies are a wonderful gift from the Gods. I am a professional naked lady myself, as I worked as a stripper and burlesque star for going on 13 years (It will be 13 years in July). I think we all need to take a moment to appreciate naked ladies. I have seen a lot of people. I have seen a lot of faces. I have seen a lot of emotions. There have been times when people walk into my performance venue looking miserable and then the only time I see them smile is when my fellow naked ladies and myself are naked. It's not hurting anyone to appreciate the female form. I love Playboy and Penthouse magazines. Hustler is good, too. I love being a naked lady and I have so much love for my fellow naked ladies.

I'll never understand women hating on other women being sexy and beautiful and showing their bodies. I think a lot of it comes from insecurity and envy... perhaps a lack of understanding. I feel that there is room for everyone and if my husband appreciates another woman's beauty I am going to appreciate it with him because the fact that she is beautiful doesn't take away from my beauty.

However, I digress,

The Star is hope. Simply put, the Star is going to make your day better. The star is going to give you a reason to keep going, because you have hope, because you have faith, because you know that the trials and tribulations are temporary and we can improve the future by learning from our mistakes and our victories.

When you express gratitude and teach yourself to look for the best in any situation it gets easier if you are struggling. It's like anything else in life, good things happen when you work hard. If you make an effort and try to improve things they are more likely to improve than if we do nothing. Negativity can often times result in self fulfilling prophecy. If i don't think I can do something and I don't try because I didn't think I could do it, then I am definitely going to fail. If I am optimistic and think I have a chance at achieving a difficult goal, I'm going to give it a try. If I am successful then I gain confidence in my abilities and if I fail, I have gained experience and learned lessons that can be applied to navigating my path in the future.

There you have it, the hope after the storm knocked down your tower... you have hope because you are alive. Maybe you needed to come down from that tower. Sure, you were fed well, you had cable tv and high speed internet, a smart tv, a mac book, printed books to read, makeup to play with, shelter, and all the things that make a room a home complete with a garden jacuzzi tub and a comfy soft memory foam bed, but you were missing out on a lot of other things. When you were locked in the tower, it could have been the old story that you were placed there by an evil prince who wanted to keep you there as his play thing. You are safe in the tower but you have no chance of travel or having any relationships or interactions with other humans besides your captor. It might be a safe, comfortable life, but it might leave you spiritually unfulfilled. When the lightning struck the tower, it fell and you found yourself falling into some soft shrubbery that you were very lucky to have break your fall. You are alive and there is breath in your lungs so there is hope. After intense trauma from being held captive and also from the violent destruction of the tower, you are left with yourself to shape your destiny. You have survived and there is hope for a better life. There is hope for the future. The star is a card that will usually represent present time and a hope for the future or as a message that the future is work waiting for. In other words, the Star is Hope For The Future. Don't stop looking ahead but do not stress. Be present and comfortable in the time that you are in because you see promise of a bright tomorrow.

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

My Light in a Dark Place — Twenty-Three (Tamaki Amajiki x OFC)

MASTERLIST | MLDP MASTERLIST

A/N: This is the first time I've ever written smut like this. I'm sorry if it's bad or unrealistic. It feels right for Yuki and Tamaki, so after a lot of editing, I landed on this. I also want to say that if you share the same deprecating thoughts about yourself, please, I hope you learn or someone tells you that you are so much more. You are special and important to this world. You are a gift even when everyone around you makes you feel like you're not. I know these words can't fix anything, but I hope they help to make you see that someone cares about you. I do. It doesn't matter if we don't know each other. You are so important and beautiful. &lt;3

Chapter warnings: this part is smut and has a horrible breakdown in it. Yuki thinks and says a lot of terrible things about herself that could potentially be triggering. Be cautious if you chose to read anyway.

Words: 11k

Standing on her toes, Yuki reaches up to fix Tamaki’s hair after he had changed out of his lounging clothes into something a little less casual. His lips instantly turn up, feeling her fingers brush across his forehead and behind his ear. 

A smile of her own grows. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“That smile is for something, Tama. I know you.”

His heartbeat speeds up a little when her hand touches his shoulder and slides down his chest some. “I like it when you… when you take care of me. All those little things you do.”

“Oh, because I fixed your hair? I love taking care of you because you’ve done so much to take care of me.” Yuki again reaches up to brush her fingers through his bangs. “And I like having some excuse to touch you. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” Tamaki says quickly. “I… I like your affection.”

“That’s good to hear,” she says before picking off a few stray hairs from his shirt. “I’ll be lovey-dovey with you every chance I get to make you happy.”

A blush blooms across his cheeks, but he still carefully cups her face in his hands and kisses her. 

So sweet. Yuki hums, smiling against his lips, and grasps the clothes at his waist. When he attempts to pull away, she follows to capture his lips again. If only a second kiss can be granted, it’s better than the one that is never enough.

“Everyone will be here soon,” Tamaki says before she can go for a third kiss.

Pouting, Yuki settles back on her heels. “Fine. Later then.”

Much to her surprise, Tamaki hesitates before stealing one more kiss from her. He quickly walks away to grab some drinks out of the fridge, but his tiny smile doesn’t go unnoticed by Yuki. Oh, I’ll get you later, Tama.

Ever since their talk sitting on Yuki’s bathroom floor, Tamaki has brought more affection into their relationship. He kisses her more spontaneously. He’ll hug her when she’s doing stationary tasks in the kitchen, and he brings more gentle touches when he walks by her. It’s as if Tamaki is slowly warming her up to breaking the next barrier between them.

Yuki’s personal favorite moment with Tamaki’s added affection is when they’re lying down together—especially when they’re on the verge of sleep. He spends what seems like hours lovingly caressing her body. If she’s on her side, his hand will follow the curves of her body, sometimes his touch putting goosebumps across her skin. On her stomach, Tamaki stays primarily around her back. Only once did his hand follow the roundness of her backside before he realized he was zoning out and avoided getting too close since. But when Yuki lies on her back, Tamaki seems to get a little bolder than usual. He primarily stays around her stomach area, but there have been times his fingers have brushed the sensitive skin just under her breasts. In the opposite direction, his fingers have trailed farther down, often circling the flesh just inside of her hipbones. It might not be a lot for most couples, but Yuki feels far more flustered by his touches than ever before. And when he gets lost in watching his hand run along her body, Yuki can’t get enough of the way his eyes seem to burst with some sort of emotion she thinks is akin to adoration—maybe something more.

Tamaki doesn’t go without some attention from Yuki either. It’s not usually a specific time or place, but any chance Yuki gets, she’s holding him, scratching his back, brushing her fingers through his hair; she has to be touching him in some way. She loves running her fingers across his back, particularly after he showers and hasn't put on a new shirt, scratching lightly to set bumps across his skin. She will step up close to him, chest to back, and trace the subtle definition of his abdominal muscles. At first, Tamaki choked on air when she snuck up on him, but he no longer reacts like that. Only soft sighs and hums leave him anymore. What she loves most is when she traces the thin trail of hair under his belly button that she's been so tempted to follow under the waistband of his pants. But Yuki never does. Sometimes the time just isn't right and sometimes her insecurities get the best of her. Not even the almost inaudible sound Tamaki makes at the back of his throat each time is enough to spur her exploration further. But her thoughts refuse to let her ignore her constant retreat even now as their mutual friends crowd onto Tamaki's couches for the soccer game on TV.

Yuki isn't much of a sports person, so it's easy to daydream about how Tamaki will react if she quits stopping herself. He'll probably get flustered and make some noise out of shock. It'd be choked out at the feeling of her fingers trailing lower. Their lips will already be connected, hers moving along his jawline the closer her hand gets. Fingers will find their destination and wrap around his—

"Hey, Yuki!”

Shit! She blinks a few times and looks toward Nejire who is standing beside Mirio’s side of the couch. “Huh?”

“I asked if we should order some pizza for everyone.”

Tamaki shifts beside Yuki and takes her attention again, albeit in a different way. “I ordered some earlier. The pizza should get here by 7… if that’s okay.”

“Look at you staying on top of things!” Mina coos from beside Kirishima. She rests her chin on her hands as she leans her elbows on her knees. “You’re so lucky, Yuki, that you have a man like Tamaki to take care of you.”

She gazes up at Tamaki, cheeks suddenly reddening when he looks back at her. Don’t think about it. Not with our friends sitting right here. “I am lucky,” Yuki finally says. “We take care of each other.”

Eri sighs. “I’ll find someone like that one of these days.”

“Maybe after high school,” Mirio says. “Wait until everyone matures a bit more before making a commitment like a relationship.”

Suddenly, Kirishima cheers at the game, stopping the conversation as Mirio and Nejire join in. Mina and Eri half-heartedly cheer, too, neither of them there for the actual game.

Yuki sighs to herself—still trying to shake her dirty thoughts away—and hides her face in Tamaki’s neck. Her skin bumps when his hand goes to her side, rubbing right where his thumb rests. With her thoughts running wild, it’s a nice reminder that keeps her more grounded and present. There’s a time for it and now is not that time.

“Are you okay?” Tamaki asks lowly to avoid attention from everyone else. 

Yuki pauses and shakes her head. My thoughts are only getting worse the longer the tension builds, Tama.

“Do you need to rest? I can bring you pizza once it gets here.”

She slides her arms around him, putting her feet onto his lap, and brings the two of them closer together. Yuki ignores the excited whispers of Eri and Mina. Clearly they're discussing the scene before them instead of the game.

“Yuki,” Tamaki tries again. “Should we… send everyone home?”

“No,” Yuki says. “I’m okay, I guess. A lot on my mind that won’t leave me alone.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Later… Not now. I’ll be all right, Tama. I’ll tell you if I’m not.”

“Okay.”

She nuzzles her nose into his neck a little. “Can I stay here?”

“Yeah… You’re fine. Will you want pizza when it gets here?”

"A couple of pieces will be fine."

"Okay." A few cheers followed by groans make Yuki nuzzle even more into Tamaki. He cradles her head to him. "You're… sure you're okay?"

Yuki hums and kisses his neck a few times. It's tempting to leave a mark and then let her lips wander. "Yeah." I almost wish we were alone…

While Tamaki and Yuki are having their moment, Kirishima glances at Yuki's actions. He’s seen her act like this once before back in their post high school days. It was soon after he met her for the first time and he asked her out. She was tipsy at a party they went to—as a date sort of thing—and Yuki could not bear to be out of reach of him. Her eyes would glaze over sometimes and she’d come back to reality with a cute blush on her face. Then he started catching her staring at him and often it was not innocently—much like the way Yuki is watching Tamaki say something to Mirio. Before the night was over, he and Yuki found themselves in a random bedroom on the verge of having sex together—after he got her off a couple of times with his mouth and fingers—but a random phone call for him ended the night on a fairly awkward note. Yuki being Yuki wouldn’t let him leave though until she at least helped him out. So, she did, and he left with a breathless thank you and a quick kiss on her mouth.

Since the chat they had a few weeks later where they both agreed being friends was a better idea for them for various reasons beyond that night, Kirishima hasn’t thought about it. But watching Yuki act so similarly without an ounce of alcohol in her system, he knows something is up.

“Hey, Yuki?” Kirishima says.

She peers at him from where she’s hiding against Tamaki, who also turns to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“Why?” she pouts, fingers grasping a handful of Tamaki’s sleeve.

Kirishima shrugs. “I figured since the game is a little slow for now, we could catch up some. I haven’t seen you in what feels like ages. I promise it won’t be long and you’ll be back with Tamaki in no time.”

Sensing that whatever Kirishima has to say is important, Tamaki gently nudges Yuki off his lap. “Go on. Maybe the pizza will be here when you’re done.”

“Okay…” A pout sits deep on her face, but she goes over to Kirishima as he stands up.

Tamaki watches them disappear into his room, the door not shutting all the way. Clearly, Kirishima doesn’t think they need complete privacy, reassuring Tamaki that even though it’s important, it’s not something that has to be kept from anyone else. At least he hopes.

Yuki immediately sits down on the edge of Tamaki’s bed and looks up at Kirishima. “What’s up, Kiri?”

“Have you and Tamaki had sex yet?”

“Uh, no. Why?”

“You’re acting like you have or are about to.”

Yuki can feel her face getting warmer. “Why do you think that?”

Kirishima chuckles and squats down in front of Yuki. “As much as we had to drink back then, I still remember how you were acting before we… well, you know what we did.”

“And you brought me in here to remind me because…?”

“Are you really ready for that sort of physical relationship with Tamaki? I know you both discussed it and asked me and Mina for advice, but… I don’t want you to do this because you think you have to, okay? You have a great guy out there who will do anything for you. He loves you a lot. I know he’d be willing to wait if you want that.”

A soft smile graces Yuki’s lips. “I know who is out there waiting for me. It’s why I want this. I’ve never felt so sure about a person before, Kiri. He’s it for me. Am I scared? A little. My most recent experience is painful and dark… Tama understands that, too. We’re taking it slow and not jumping right into having sex.” She touches her cheeks with her fingers. “I just can’t stop thinking about him and-and thinking about touching him. Ever since we’ve talked about it, it’s all I daydream about. It’s getting to be too much!”

Kirishima actually laughs at her. “You’re cute, Yuki. If it’s getting to be that difficult to wait, make a move after we all leave. If you’re really ready, show Tamaki what you want. He loves you, so you know he’ll take care of you far better than any guy in your past—including me.”

“Mina said a lot of great things about him,” Yuki says, suddenly feeling hot. “Do you think she’s right?”

“If I know anything about Mina, she doesn’t lie, especially when she’s impressed.” Kirishima squeezes her calves as he grins with his pointy teeth showing. “I kinda wanna know what you think about him.”

“You just want me to verify if you’re better or not, huh?”

“He’s the one you’re going to end up sleeping with one of these days. You had me in my awkward days of trying to figure out what the hell to do half the time. I know I won't compare to him at all." He stands and pats her knee. "I'm genuinely curious what a guy like him can do. He's a private kinda guy. I think I've seen him shirtless maybe four times and we work at the same agency. Plus… I hear the shy types are the most impressive, if you know what I mean." Kirishima lifts his eyebrows a few times.

"Do you want to sleep with him or something?"

"Nah. He's not my type," he laughs. "But if you're inviting me to join in…"

"Eijiro Kirishima!" Yuki scolds him, standing to smack his shoulder. "That was not an invitation! I haven't even slept with Tamaki to be comfortable enough to invite another person!"

"But it's not a no!"

"No way, Kirishima!" Yuki shoves him a bit. "There's no way I'll share Tamaki with anyone. And… I don't want him to share me."

"You're adorable, Yuki." He gives her a quick kiss on her forehead. "Once the game is over, I'll make sure this place clears out to give you and Tamaki some time alone."

"Thanks, Kiri, even if it's kinda weird to talk about doing it with my boyfriend with the guy I had my first sexual experience with forever ago."

"We're a weird couple of friends. C'mon then. I think your boyfriend might be missing you. And I think I smell pizza."

Yuki hums and skips toward the door. "Maybe the game will end quickly. I don't even really like soccer, but Tamaki has a great TV for it."

"Patience, Yuki. You have all the time in the world with Tamaki. You'll have your fun. Just don't be too pushy about it."

"Never. I want Tama to be with me if he wants to, no matter what I want to do. We're in this together."

"God, I can't wait for you to marry him," Kirishima grins right as he steps out of the room to keep Yuki from protesting.

She gives Kirishima a look as she goes on her way to Tamaki, who is opening up the pizza boxes.

Tamaki looks at her with curious eyes. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she says, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Kiri was just checking in on me."

"What for?"

"He's known me so long now that he knows my tells and is concerned. I'll happily tell you about it after the game." Do it, Yuki. She presses a kiss on the spot just in front of his ear. "When we're alone."

Tamaki visibly and audibly swallows, temporarily stunned in place. Yuki has been flirty before, but that is new. And he feels its effect instantly. He clears his throat and nearly drops the box he's holding. "O-Okay." He has no idea how he's going to get through the game if Yuki is going to tease him like that.

Eri running over distracts Yuki, so he can take a few calming breaths before continuing to lay out the food. Unfortunately for him, the night doesn't get any easier.

After cleaning up the dishes, Yuki plops herself back on his lap again, one of his blankets wrapped around her. At first, he found it cute to have her snuggled against him while the others shouted at something in the game. But when Yuki sneaks little touches along his chest and his stomach, eventually finding that damn strip of hair that drives him crazy each time she traces her fingers across it. Tamaki isn't sure she's aware of the power she holds when she gives that area of his abdomen such loving attention. He's grateful for the blanket she brought over. 

Yuki once again hides her face in his neck the moment she notices something against her hip. To spare both of them the embarrassment, she takes her hand away to hug Tamaki closely. Resist for now. Later, Yuki. Wait until you can talk to him and decide how far you want to go tonight. Both of you should agree.

Luckily for her, Yuki wound up falling asleep before the game ended, waking up to an empty apartment. Well, aside from Tamaki cleaning up in the kitchen.

"Why didn't anyone wake me up to say bye?" she yawns while sitting up to look at her diligent boyfriend.

He glances at her. "No one wanted to wake you up. Plus… Eijiro seemed in a rush to get everyone out. It was… strange."

A little giggle leaves Yuki. She grabs her phone off the coffee table to find a short "have fun" message from Kirishima followed by a winky face. Her lips stay turned up as she sends back a smirking face.

"Do you want to… to go get ready for bed?" Tamaki asks. "You must be tired. I'll come to bed s-soon." He's not sure why that made his heart race, but it did.

"You won't be long, right?"

He shakes his head. "Shower and get comfortable, okay? Take… Take care of yourself."

I hope we'll be taking care of something else together. "Come to bed soon, okay, Tama?"

There's hesitation before he nods. "I will."

Remaining calm, Yuki rolls off the couch and makes her way to his bedroom. The millisecond the door shuts behind her, Yuki rushes into his closet for something to wear—settling on one of his t-shirts that falls just above her knees—and then into the bathroom where she rushes through a shower. She's so quick that Tamaki still hasn't made it into the room, so she tucks herself under the covers and gets cozy before Tamaki finally walks in.

An instant smile appears on his lips at the sight of her cozy in his bed. "Did you shower already?"

She nods. "Yeah. I just laid down."

"Will it be okay if I shower?"

"Of course, Tama." This is torturous. I hope he hurries. Yuki pats the bed. "I'll be here."

Tamaki gives her another smile as he grabs some shorts from his closet and disappears into the bathroom. The water starts and it's a waiting game all over again for Yuki.

She rubs her thighs in anticipation and can't decide if forgoing underwear was a good idea despite the eagerness to make something happen tonight. It doesn't even have to be much. I want to touch him… so badly. But we need to determine what is okay for right now.

Tracing a few random shapes on the comforter, Yuki begins to drift off into her own world—one that involves seeing a lot more of her boyfriend that she has yet to see. When did I become such a horny teenager again? It's so easy to forget what Seto did to her, knowing the kind of man she has to love on every day. Tamaki makes so much of her pain and fears float away with his sweet smile and encouraging words. Yuki still feels as if she can take on the world as long as she has Tamaki beside her. It's the greatest feeling she's ever had with another person. She never wants to lose it.

The shower stops. Yuki's heart rate skyrockets. It's just Tamaki. No matter what happens, he'll take care of me and treat me well, like he always does. Relax. Another minute goes by and Tamaki finally walks out of the bathroom with his hair up to keep it dry during his shower and a t-shirt and shorts on as his pajamas. He looks good and Yuki can't help watching him put his dirty clothes away.

Tamaki catches her watching and blushes. "What?"

"I love you."

"I-I love you, too. Do you need anything?"

Nibbling on her bottom lip, Yuki peers at her boyfriend from under her lashes. "Can we… do something tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

A slight hesitation. "I want to do something naughty with you, Tama."

"O-Oh… Are you sure?"

"It's all I can think about. Kirishima could tell, which is why he wanted to talk."

"What did he, um, say?" He can't bring himself to move closer to the bed yet. He's frozen at his closet door.

"He wanted to make sure I was okay with us moving forward with a physical relationship. That's all."

"Are you?"

"Okay with it? Yeah." Yuki sounds a little breathless. "I trust you more than anyone. I know you'll stop if I feel uncomfortable and that you won't force anything onto me. And I'll do the same for you. If you don't think you're ready to do something right now, we won't."

"I-I'm okay if… if you are…"

"I'm okay with it. Not the full-blown act, but things to warm us up to it."

Tamaki somehow manages to walk to the bed, sitting on the edge. "I think… that's a good idea."

"Lights on or off?"

Tamaki quickly gets up to mess with the switch, dimming the lights to make the room feel more private but allowing them to see. To be honest, Tamaki doesn't want to miss a second of appreciating her body—not that he could ever speak it out loud.

"Is this okay?" he asks, looking toward her.

Sensual and still allows us to visually appreciate each other. Yes, please. "It's great."

He shuffles back over and sits next to her. Tamaki feels anxiety over messing up seep into his mind, but he also knows that Yuki will not tease him if he does. She's never made him feel small for not doing something well. Still… he wants to make her happy to be with him.

Beside him, Yuki isn't faring much better. Except her anxiety stems from wanting to ask if she can touch him first, explore him first. She couldn't care less about her needs—whatever she decides those are. She just wants to satisfy her curiosity with his permission. How do I ask? Should I wait for him to ask? This is unbearable.

They look at each other and the tension building inside themselves bubbles out into laughter, Yuki's much louder than his.

"Why are we even nervous?" she asks, rubbing her arm. "We want to do this, right?"

Tamaki nods.

"Then we should go for it."

"Wh-What do you want me to d-do?" Tamaki inwardly frowns at his inability to not sound nervous.

"Um… how about you get under the covers with me and kiss me?"

Another nod and Tamaki quickly climbs under the covers with her—struggling only for a second. Once settled, he reaches out to take her face in his hands. The bright shine in her eyes is enough to urge him closer for a slow kiss against her parted lips. He instantly feels relief at the gentle response from Yuki, her lips moving against his almost timidly.

Yuki sighs when Tamaki pulls away, only to come right back with a bit more passion, his lips parting some. Both of her palms touch his chest, fingers bunching up his shirt when she tilts her head a little more to deepen the kiss. But her hands soon slide up over his shoulders and into his hair that she promptly removes from its ponytail holder. She doesn't know the goosebumps that cover Tamaki's entire body when her fingers brush against the nape of his neck as she tangles her slender fingers into his hair.

Pausing their kisses, Yuki rushes to get the covers off their legs so she can sit on his lap, knees on either side of his hips. She immediately brings their lips together again, muting Tamaki's little grunt when she gets lost in the moment and grinds down on him. It's not the greatest feeling the slick fabric of his shorts against her sensitive skin, but the slight pressure relieved against him—their actions making him half hard already—feels good enough for her hips to repeat the same action.

She trails her lips along his jawline, a need to fulfill her many daydreams fueling her kisses. With a gentle tug of his hair, she's able to get better access to his neck and throat, where she gives a little more attention near his Adam's apple.

Tamaki finally lets his hands drop to her waist and he nearly whimpers from her attention to his neck. He groans a little the second his hands slide to her backside and finds there's no print of her underwear. He didn't know Yuki would be his cause of death with the way his heart races when she once again moves her hips against him.

Kisses move back up toward his ear where a few are left along the pointed shell, bringing forth more sounds of pleasure from the man under her. Yuki finally gives in and hovers her lips right by his ear. "Tama… can I… can I touch you?"

"Y-Yes…" He almost lets out a whispered please, but holds himself back. If he wasn't totally hard before, he is now—painfully so with every move Yuki makes.

Oh, my God. Thank God. Why am I so excited? Yuki reaches for the hem of his shirt, slipping her fingers under for a fleeting touch on his abdomen before tugging his shirt over his head. He messily brushes his hair out of the shirt and over his shoulders before Yuki tosses the offending piece of clothing away.

The short peek she had before at Mirio and Nejire's wedding doesn't compare to seeing his naked torso on full display in front of her. His skin is smooth and warm to the touch and each time he sucks in a strained breath, the definition of his abs becomes much more prominent, even in his sitting position. But what she loves most is that teasing line of almost black hair under his bellybutton that disappears under his pants, leading right to the very thing Yuki wants to touch most.

Under Yuki's exploring gaze, Tamaki is frozen—in a good way. He feels like if he moves, it'll take Yuki out of her little moment. It's hard to stay still when her fingers trail down his chest to the hair her eyes have been fixated on since she removed his shirt.

"Y-You… like it?" Tamaki asks in a hushed voice, taken aback by the fire in her eyes when she looks up at him.

She hums with a nod, eyes dropping back to her fingers tracing the line up and down at the sight of his goosebumps. "Maybe it's because it leads to something I like even more," she says softly. Yuki peers up at him again when she feels his abdominal muscles clench under her. "Do you like that I like it?"

He nods, eyes shutting tightly for a few seconds to help him get control of himself. He wasn't expecting her words to affect him so immediately. "I don't know why…"

"If we like it, does it matter?"

"I-I guess not."

Yuki takes a single finger and tugs down the waistline of his pants to find where the hair thickens, curls, and spreads a bit more across his skin. Tilting her head to the side with a smile, Yuki brings her gaze back to his eyes. Tamaki visibly shivers under her stare. "Would you be willing to lie down and let me take these off for you?" she asks, getting off of his lap. Her eyes catch the tent in his pants that her weight was holding down, and Yuki feels her body grow hot. Whatever I'm about to uncover is going to be impressive if that sight is any hint. My Tama is going to be full of surprises, isn't he?"Please?"

He can only manage a shaky hum, but clumsily shifts to lie back next to her. Despite the stretchy fabric of his shorts, he feels too restrained. Tamaki momentarily wonders who she's been with in the past that has made her far more confident than him. Knowing she has nothing on under his shirt is almost enough to kill him because he loves her so much. He wants to be so good for her, to make her feel good, but to muster up the same courage feels impossible as her fingers hook into the waistband of his pants and start pulling them down. He's stunned by her all the time. His thoughts are going too fast to be coherent, especially when he's left naked under his girlfriend's attentive stare.

Yuki can't stop staring at what she's freed from his shorts. It's not the first dick she's seen, but it's the first to leave her awestruck just by sight. It's long, far longer than she expected and smooth, aside from a few veins running along it, hovering just above his stomach. It's not thick, which is perfectly fine for her because she knows what he has is perfect for her liking. The hair at the base is dark, thick, and slightly curled from where it appears to be growing out. Does he usually keep it trimmed? I like it like this. Yuki doesn't hesitate to reach out and run her fingertips through the mass of curls, bottom lip getting pulled between her teeth when he twitches. The fluid settled at the tip smears a little on his stomach with the movement. 

"Tama," she breathes, lifting a single finger to rub along a tiny portion of his length. Yuki looks at his flushed face, her eyes as wide as his. "It might be weird to say, but you're so… pretty."

Tamaki chokes out a laugh, far too distracted by her touch. How a single finger can feel so good is a mystery to him, but he doesn't want Yuki to stop touching him. "Th-Thank… thank you?"

She giggles and watches as she wraps her fingers around the base. "I bet you'll feel so good inside me." Yuki looks at him when he whines, eyes closing as he twitches in her hand now. "Another time though." She slowly guides her hand toward the tip, tightening her grip as she goes. It brings out a deep moan from Tamaki's mouth. She does it again just to hear him react.

Her hand feels amazing. It's not soft because of her gardening, but the callouses stimulate him in all the right ways. And her grip. He could moan again thinking about it. Somehow it's firm and gentle all in one. He wonders if it's from her years of handling flowers, gripping several stems for a bouquet while being mindful that they're fragile. And when she moves her hand back down, he is literally on the verge of losing it. No one has ever made him so ready to burst faster than her.

Yuki mimics her previous action several more times until Tamaki has to tell her to stop, coming out more like a plea than a calm response.

She let's go instantly, eyes wide with concern. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Tamaki scrunches his nose as he fights back the feeling in his abdomen. "I almost… I don't want to… to finish yet."

"Oh. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he says, sitting up and leaning forward to kiss her mouth passionately. Her little squeak of surprise makes the butterflies in his stomach flutter about.

"There's no way I got you there that fast, Tama," Yuki says against his lips. She pulls away to look him in the eyes. "I haven't touched a man like that in a long time."

"It felt… good. Your hand…" Tamaki picks it up and kisses her palm. "...it feels nice."

The adorable redness on his cheeks and ears makes Yuki giddy. "It's just a hand. I don't understand."

With a deep breath, Tamaki tugs on the hem of the shirt she wears. "Can I… show you what I mean?"

"Okay."

Gently, Tamaki pulls her closer, placing her feet on either side of him while she sits between his outstretched legs. He takes her hand and holds it, palm up. With one finger, he points out the callouses across the top of her palm. "Working in a garden and with plants, your hands… they aren't smooth or-or soft. There's texture." He lets go of her hand and grunts under his breath when Yuki immediately goes to caress the very obvious extra limb between them. The torturous way she's giving it attention, thumb massaging the tip when her hand eventually reaches the end, brings his eyes down to watch. "I-It… feels so… so good." Tamaki gives up and rests his forehead on her shoulder, shaky breaths and soft sounds leaving him to tell Yuki that what she's doing is exactly what he wants. 

For the first time since meeting Tamaki, he lets out a breathless curse when she barely tightens her grip. It's hard not to do it again just to get a similar response. "Do you think it'll feel just as good when we have sex?"

Unsure if his moan is from her touch or her words, Tamaki hides his face in her neck. "B-Better. Warm…" He hesitates, "...and wet."

Yuki clenches around nothing at his words. "Tamaki," she whines, letting go of him so she can lift his head for a kiss, the tip of her tongue running along the seam of his lips. A pleased hum escapes her throat as he lets her tongue slip into his mouth to tease his. "Can you please touch me?" she asks when she has to catch her breath.

"You're s-sure?"

"Yes, Tama." Her kisses move to his jawline. "I bet your fingers will feel so nice on me… in me. Please."

The dirty talk is something Tamaki didn't expect from Yuki, but he likes it. A lot. The praise laced in her comments urges him forward; they give him the confidence he wants when he's with her. Tamaki continues to let Yuki love on the flesh of his neck and throat while he carefully repositions her on her back, legs spread apart, and he settles beside her. Unintentionally, he moves his hips against her side to gain a little friction against her side. 

"Do you… want this off or on?" he asks with a tug on her sleeping shirt.

Yuki shimmies it up above her stomach, looking at him with big doe eyes, and her bottom lip caught in her teeth. "Is this okay? I'm not sure if I'm ready to be totally naked yet."

She gets a sweet kiss on her nose and lips. "That's okay for me… as long as it is… for you, Yuki."

She nods, her hand farthest from him resting atop her belly. "I love you."

Tamaki's lips curl upward, making his rosy cheeks and soft gaze a pleasant sight. "I love you, too."

"Should I return the favor?" she says, glancing down at the rigid appendage resting against her hip.

"I want to… to take care of you first. O-Okay?"

Yuki nods. "Tell me when I can then?"

With a hum, Tamaki leans in for a kiss, somehow pressing himself closer. And while he has Yuki's lips occupied, he places his hand on her stomach where he caresses her mostly to make her feel at ease. His fingers sometimes reach down to where her pubic hair starts, short and strangely soft under his touch. He waits until he's sure Yuki is comfortable with his touch. Luckily, she doesn't feel an ounce of fear.

How has this been so rewarding already? He hasn't done anything to me, and I still feel euphoric. Yuki whimpers and cradles his head when his lips seek the soft flesh of her neck. It's followed by a gasp when his hand moves down to cup around that aching spot at the apex of her thighs. He does nothing else, keeping the heat her body is producing close, yet it feels wonderful. If you taught him this, Mina, thank you.

After a minute—Tamaki still holding her attention with his lips and little nips on her skin—he trails his hand up, fingers barely massaging her folds, and then back down where his middle finger circles her entrance as if to relax the muscles there before he slips the tip of that finger barely inside her. It's enough to make her clench around it, especially when he pumps that first little section of his finger in and out of her. A few slow thrusts of his finger and then he pulls it out to massage around where it was just inserted, only to go back for a few more almost too slow thrusts and he repeats. Tamaki can't help rubbing himself against her side when Yuki tries to grind herself on his finger, silently asking for more.

Tamaki pulls away from kissing her throat to gaze at her. Yuki's eyes are pleading and her lips are parted to release short whines of need, her fingers pulling at his hair caught in them. He kisses her lips, but doesn't change up what he's doing to her.

This is only the second time using these tactics on a woman after that night with Mina, and as always, they work just like she promised. He's never forgotten. And now with Yuki, he wants to be absolutely perfect for her, even if it means she has to suffer longer with waiting.

"Tama, please," she breathes. "Stop… teasing me."

"I'm not trying to." Another kiss on her lips. "I… I want you to feel good. I'm not… done… with you." He feels her contract around his finger, so he for a split second pushes it a little deeper—eliciting a beautiful sound from Yuki—before removing his finger completely. "You're so… pretty, Yuki." His ears burn from his own words and he can't help hiding his face against her. His hand shifts so his wet finger can now circle her sensitive clit that has been aching for his attention. 

As flustered as he is to be like this with Yuki, Tamaki can't help looking at her face, relaxed in pleasure, after bucking against his hand the second he shifted his attention higher. If he thought she looked beautiful before, nothing compares to the half-lidded stare she gives him. Her bottom lip is rosy from where she keeps pulling it into her mouth, but when she can't hold in her moans and whimpers, her lips part so prettily. He can't resist kissing her again.

Fuck… he's so good and… and he's hardly done anything to me. Yuki sucks in a breath when his finger massages through her folds back to her entrance, where he goes back to gently pushing his finger in a few times before sliding back up to give more attention back to her clit. She doesn't even realize she lifted her hips to meet his finger until he softly tells her to relax. I'm going to die before anything else can happen. Tama… Yuki not only thinks his name, but whines it out when he returns his finger to gather up more of her essence to make the feeling of that same finger on her clit better. It gets the fire in her belly stoked, the feeling of something getting pulled taut stronger than before.

"T-Tama," she says, head tilting back as her back arches. "You're gonna make me… me–" The tension snaps and she can't do anything except whine and try to catch her breath. She doesn't even realize her body is glowing softly from the pleasure.

Although he's shocked to see his slow, deliberate touches bring out a slow orgasm from her, he can't help dipping his finger into her just to feel the muscles flutter around and squeeze it. But Tamaki doesn't stay long, going back to ease Yuki through the end of her orgasm with a softer touch and a sweet kiss to her mouth. He sweetly smiles down at her when she relaxes—that beautiful glow still emitting from her flushed skin—and gazes at him with bright eyes. That's when he stops his finger and rests his hand over her like he did at the start.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm hmm," she says, visibly swallowing and letting her hands drop from his hair.

Tamaki stares at her limp limbs above her head and then kisses her cheek. "Did you… like it?"

She shifts her hips against his still hand. "Yeah… I didn't know I could do that so quickly. And it felt so… different."

"Good different?"

"God, yes. Very good," Yuki reaches up to touch his reddened cheek. I should praise him, right? That's what Mina said. "You were so, so good. I can't even make myself feel like that… How did you do that?"

"Oh, um… I was told that-that there are things I can do to… to make you, uh, to help you take m-my fingers or my…" Tamaki glances down toward where he's pressed against her side. "That doesn't matter tonight though…"

Yuki takes her other hand and gives his neglected body part some affection. She loves the way he chokes out a groan and tries to push more into her hand. "I'm excited to feel what it'll be like to sit on your–" She squeezes the head just to have him buck into her hold, "cock."

Tamaki curses again, right in her ear, and takes his hand away from her body only to pull her hand off him. With fingers intertwined, he pins her hand by her head. There's no strength behind his hold, but it's enough to get himself under control again. He's feeling the frustration of not getting a release yet, but he's still not done with Yuki. But if she keeps talking like that, saying such naughty words, he won't last much longer.

Again, she looks at him with worry. "I'm sorry if I did something wrong." Her glow dies with her concern. 

How she can say something so dirty one second and then look so sweet the next throws Tamaki for a loop. He shakes his head, feeling a little dizzy from the constant heat in his head. "N-No… I'm not finished with you yet."

Eyes wide, Yuki tilts her head. Not done?! "What do you mean?"

Shakily, Tamaki gets on his hands and knees, kissing her shortly. "Do you trust me?"

"With everything in me."

His lips meet hers more aggressively than usual to elicit a sweet sound from her throat. And while he gives her mouth loving attention, he builds up enough courage to say the dirty thing that's been sitting on his tongue since they started their bedroom escapade. But it's quiet, his voice not quite wanting to work from the nerves building back up.

Tamaki pulls away to look into her pretty eyes—fighting his anxiety—and brushes her messy hair from her flushed face. "I want you t-to… to sit on my face."

Yuki's eyes go wide and her pupils seem to blow open. Her whole body reacts, and she's almost instantly sitting up, forcing a just as surprised Tamaki to sit back over her. "I'd love to do that for you."

He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "That's okay?"

"Yeah… Please let me." Why am I begging? He literally just told me he wants me to. Yuki runs her hands up his chest to his wild hair—no thanks to her hands—so she can bring him into a searing kiss. She nudges her nose against his cheek. "Can you use your fingers, too?"

Tamaki pictures what's to come, unsure if he can make it work for her. He wants her to be above him, not lying on her back where he could easily give her what she's asking for. He can't imagine it'll work well when she inevitably grinds down on his face. But… an idea pops into his head.

"It might not work well like that… but it will if I use my Quirk."

At her questioning look, he feels his body heat up even more at the understanding that she hasn't picked up what he's suggesting.

"My fingers can… can change to reach where I wouldn't usually… if you're okay with it."

Change? Then it dawns on her, her eyes falling onto his hand now touching her waist. He means… using his fingers as tentacles. Fucking. Hell. I'm going to ascend to God knows where with this man.

Her lips crash against his right after he sees the realization cross her features. Frankly, he isn't expecting that sort of reaction, nor the pleading in his ear for him to use his Quirk. There's a lot about his girlfriend he's learning tonight, and it's almost overwhelming. He's feeling more like they're truly meant to be together, being built so perfectly for each other. Tamaki decides it's time to throw in another new element to their relationship. As long as he can get his courage to spike again before the night is over.

"I want this so bad, Tama," Yuki practically moans in his ear, wishing that some part of him was under her so she could rub herself against him. "Please."

It's as good a time as any. He takes a deep breath and leaves a kiss on the side of her head. "Okay… firefly." It feels foreign on his tongue, but since the moment he saw her glow, it's all he's ever wanted to call her. The way she looks at him with adoring surprise tells him it was perfect timing. He kisses her again before moving away to lie on his back. Tamaki holds his arms open a little after bunching his long hair behind his head. "C-C'mere."

I love you so much, Tamaki Amajiki. Yuki does, but plants herself over his hips just to rub her heat along his length to make him groan. He grabs her hips to stop her, but can't stop watching the way she moves against him, her shirt bunched up in one hand while the other presses against his chest. Even this feels amazing. "I'll be your firefly, Tama. Only yours," she says breathlessly. "Your sweet little firefly…"

Tamaki can't find the strength to stop her movements, but he has to do something or he'll fall apart. So, Tamaki does the only thing he can.

Before Yuki can grasp what is happening, multiple tentacles wrap around her waist and thighs to lift her off Tamaki. They bring her to his chest and hold her there. Her lips part in surprise.

"You're not being very s-sweet," Tamaki says, glancing at the beautiful pale skin of her tummy area. "My firefly listens."

"Fuck," Yuki says, finding that she can rub herself on his chest, too. That is until his tentacles stop her again. "Sorry… I'll listen, Tama… I'll be-I'll be good."

Her words shoot right through Tamaki, down to his cock. He feels it twitch, and he's seconds away from letting Yuki do whatever she wants with him. It almost hurts how hard he is over Yuki's words.

She's whimpering out pleas above him and finally leans over to kiss him needily. "I can't hold back anymore, Tama. Please."

In an instant, the tentacles around her disappear and he holds her facing in his hands to make Yuki look into his eyes. "You're still… still okay with this?"

Yuki nods vigorously, knowing he's asking because he is afraid of triggering her. "You won't hurt me. I'm okay. I promise." She grabs one of his wrists and squeezes, her flesh holding a soft glow from his sweetness. "I love you so much."

He gives her a slow, toe-curling kiss, Tamaki pouring all his love for her into it. He gazes at her. "Use the headboard to hold yourself steady, okay?"

Her stomach coils excitedly. "Will the shirt be in the way?" she asks as she sits up again. Behave, Yuki. You're horny as hell, but wait for him to tell you what to do… since you're apparently into that, too. "I don't want it to bother you."

Tamaki has two options he can give her, and one gives him a better view. "Hold it up… with your teeth."

Oh… Careful not to completely expose her chest, Yuki pulls the hem up across the middle of her torso so she can bite down on the fabric. She knows a bit more skin is on display, but she's not completely put off by it. If she took the shirt off her body, she's positive Tamaki would see the way the cooler air makes her nipples harden. She can feel it and wonders if it still shows through the shirt.

It does. Tamaki's gaze instantly falls on the roundness of her breasts spilling out from under the shirt. He's so tempted to reach up and rub the back of his knuckles against it, but he resists. Eyes drifting higher, he sees the immediate effect of the air hitting newly exposed skin that he knows is warm from their actions. That he can't stop himself from touching. His hand carefully cups one breast, his eyes steady on her half-lidded gaze. One gentle squeeze and a deliberate pass over the hardened nipple and he receives a beautiful moan from Yuki. 

"Ready?" he asks, hand slipping down to her waist.

Yuki eagerly crawls closer to his face, hands gripping the headboard. She nods, turned on by the sight of his mouth under her.

But before he asks her to sit, both of his hands run along the skin of her hips, thighs, and butt. His fingers get close to her core and he pauses, looking up at her. The red across his nose and cheeks makes him look so cutely innocent. And he's about to make me see stars with his tongue.

"H-How many?"

Unwilling to drop her shirt to speak, Yuki tilts her head curiously.

Something moves along the inside of her thigh, making Yuki look down to see a tentacle inching along the dip where her leg and pelvis join.

Tamaki watches her reach down and let the appendage wrap around her finger. Then she glances behind her, the shirt revealing a little more of her chest that Tamaki zeros in on. But his attention is quickly drawn to where Yuki wraps her fingers around his cock again, a slight tension in her grasp. He's about to protest when she slides her hand up his length, but just as quickly as she touched him, her hand disappears.

In front of them, Yuki holds her hand to the girth of Tamaki, nodding toward his tentacle finger.

He catches on and guides the tentacle through her open fist. While she looks at it, gathering information, Tamaki's stomach clenches at the thought of her asking for enough tentacles to simulate the size of him. He supposes it's a way to get used to the feeling. He tucks the thought away, knowing it'll come in handy when she decides she's ready for it.

Suddenly, Yuki straightens her hand to hold up three fingers, then four. She does it again.

"Three to f-four? That's… That's a lot, firefly."

Yuki finally can't stand not speaking and uses one hand to hold her shirt. "Your tentacles are the same thickness as your fingers, right? Your fingers are slender. And although you are slender in other places, I think three to four of your tentacles will be a similar stretch. Start with three and if I want a fourth, I'll ask for it."

"If… that's what you want." He peels the tentacle away from her, ready to make his girlfriend orgasm a second time. "I don't want to hurt you… so… one at a time."

She bites on the shirt again and nods, taking hold of the headboard again. 

It's his sign to start, so he lifts his head just enough to kiss just above her awaiting heat. "Tell me if i-it's too much."

Another nod as she closes her eyes and spreads her legs a little more. I'm ready. Make me forget such an evil person ever hurt me. Please.

With the first tentacle already manifested, Tamaki urges it to suction and move across her sex, soon guiding the tip into her. He looks up to see her leaning over him, grip tight on the headboard. He pushes it deeper into her to feel her walls tremble as the suction cups massage around in her, opening her up for the number she wants.

"Okay still?"

Another nod. Her eyes clench when his tentacle finds that spongy spot and begins pressing into it.

"Another?"

She gives him a thumbs up.

His second finger changes and he prods around where the other tentacle is nestled within her warmth. She makes a short, whiney sound as it wiggles in beside the other, rooting around to feel her and prepare her for more.

Feels so good. She moves her hips down onto his hand, somehow sucking the tentacles deeper inside her.

She's nodding before Tamaki asks if she wants more, practically humping the air to feel more. So he pushes another in. 

And immediately pulls it out when he catches sight of a tear glistening in the corner of her eyes. 

No, no. I'm okay. Don't stop. It was only a quick flash of the memory. I'm fine. Please… Don't let it win… Help me fight him… Make it go away…

"Yuki," he says gently, stopping all movement on both ends. "Are you really okay?"

She doesn't mean to let any tears out because she really is okay, but the deep concern in Tamaki's voice breaks the dam. Tears fall from her eyes, her shirt dropping from her mouth, and her hands coming up to cover her face. She sits back, off to the side of Tamaki's torso as soon as she feels his manifested tentacles leave her. Tamaki wraps Yuki up in his arms in seconds where she sniffles and tries to get herself together.

"I-It was too much… wasn't it?" he says, against her head. "I'm sorry."

Yuki lifts her head and shakes it vigorously. "S'not your f-f-fault. I want it so bad, Tama. I want you so much it hurts." Why did I ever think I could do this?

Using his thumbs, Tamaki brushes away her tears as his heart breaks for her. "We can try a-another time, firefly."

Her bottom lip trembles. "I'm so sorry, Tamaki… I feel fine, I do… I don't know what happened." How do you love me when I can't enjoy this how I want?

"Don't apologize. Let's… Why don't we put on a movie and… and c-cuddle together?"

Nodding, Yuki stares at his chest where the aftermath of some of her kisses have appeared. "Can I go to the bathroom first?" I hate myself…

"Yeah. Do what you… what you need to do."

Tamaki's heart shatters to bits watching his girlfriend climb off the bed and trudge to his bathroom. She looks so broken and disappointed that he wants to follow her and start admitting everything he loves about her. He almost feels like her shutting the door is symbolic of her shutting away any chance of being intimate with him.

He hears it instantly. The quieted gasps for air, the shaky exhales… Tamaki is on his feet, almost tripping over himself to pull his shorts back on, and rushes to the door.

Pathetic.

Yuki's red and watery eyes go wide when the door opens behind her, Tamaki walking in with a look screaming his concern and worry.

Worthless.

Tamaki pulls her to his chest and hugs her so tightly that Yuki can't fathom getting out of his hold. No sound comes out of her mouth except for the sharp intakes of air, but Tamaki feels her tears running down his chest. He holds her closer.

Unloveable… Tainted…

"I love you," Tamaki whispers. "I always will… You're beautiful…"

Lies. You're broken.

"Perfect… Precious… You're everything I've ever wanted…"

More lies. How can someone want to be with you when you can't fuck them right?

"I love you so much, Yuki…" Tamaki feels tears well up in his eyes, feeling the darkness within her as her body shakes with her silent tears. "I'll never leave you… You're so… so loveable."

No, I'm not…

"My life is b-better with you in it."

Impossible. I only bring you disappointment.

"I don't… I don't care if we can't make it work. I just want you… with me. We're soulmates, r-right?"

Yuki looks at him, face contorted in sorrow as fresh tears roll down her splotchy cheeks. "H-How can you want someone like m-m-me? What if I k-keep-p you from h-having b-babies? You don't w-want that lif-fe."

"I want you. Only you. I don't… I don't need children… But I need you."

She shakes her head and forces herself out of his hold, taking steps away from him. You're holding him back from a real future.

"Yuki, no… Please. Don't… Don't leave." Tamaki reaches out for her, but knows she'll run if he moves closer. "Please talk to me."

"I can't do this to you, Tamaki," she says, voice eerily flat as her tears keep falling. "All I'm doing is-is hurting you." A step back. "You don't deserve it… You're too important to me for me to keep hurting you."

"No… You've never hurt me… This… You walking away from me," Tamaki has to control the waver in his voice at the thought of losing her, "that hurts.. Don't go, Yuki."

"I need to go…" She turns on her heel and rushes out of the bathroom, frantically grabbing her things after slipping on underwear.

Tamaki follows her, feeling fear that he'll never see her again. "Yuki, stop. Whatever… Whatever you're thinking that-that says we won't work through it… don't believe it." His heart wants to burst from his chest while simultaneously tearing in two, one half ready to follow her wherever she goes. "I… can't live without you."

She chokes on a sob and looks at him. "I'm sorry, Tamaki…"

"Please," he begs, letting his tears fall. "Yuki…"

"I love you," Yuki says one last time before running out of his room.

He feels his legs give out from under him the moment he hears his front door shut. There's a hole growing where his heart sits and the feeling is worse than any fight he's ever been in. How did a good night go wrong so fast? 

In the elevator, Yuki cries and puts on the pants she wore that day. She slips on her shoes next to make it easier to dart out of the apartment complex faster. She runs and she cries. The vibration from her phone catches her attention and she pulls it out to see Kirishima calling.

"K-Kiri," she cries into the phone.

"Please, come to my house, Yuki," he says. "Please."

The way Tamaki begged her to stay runs through her mind. "I fucked up."

"No, you didn't. Where are you? I'll come find you."

"I broke his heart, Eijiro… How can I live with myself after hurting the sweetest man I've ever known? I was never meant to have him… to have his love…"

"Go back to him, Yuki. Or at least let me help you. Where. Are. You?"

"Does it matter? I'm so caught up in my fucking miserable self to ever find a reason to push forward. I've been trash ever since Seto literally fucked his way back into my life!" She doesn't care about the couple watching her in shock. "Yet… Tamaki loved me through it all…"

"He still loves you."

"He shouldn't. I'm not good for him. All I'll ever do is hurt him time and time again. I'll never get to make love to him, have his babies… be a good wife… all because of Seto fucking Tanaka. I'm ruined and tainted… and nothing in this world." Yuki collapses where she is on the sidewalk, unbothered by the curious onlookers or the light sprinkle falling from the sky. "This is my life now, Kiri. I couldn't be a hero, I couldn't help my parents… I can't accept Tamaki's feelings because I'm worthless…"

"Yuki…" Even Yuki can hear the sadness in his voice. "C'mon, beautiful. Tell me where you are. It's starting to rain."

She rolls onto her back. "Do you think if I lie down in the rain long enough, it'll just wash me away, right into the ocean? I'll float away without a care in the world. I won't feel anything anymore."

"Don't talk like that. You would hate not feeling anything. You love to be happy… to be in love. You are who you are because you have emotions."

"You know… I love you, Kiri. I never deserved having someone like you in my life, either. Even when we almost had that one-night stand, you've treated me so nicely."

"It's easy to when you're so cute and kind."

Yuki hums and closes her eyes. "Do you think I'll meet you in another life?"

"Life will be pretty miserable if I never meet you again. A life without Yuki Osaki is a life I don't want."

"Hey, lady! Get off the ground!"

"What was that, Yuki? Are you lying on the sidewalk? You’ll get sick."

"I fell here. I don't want to move."

The rain falls harder.

"C'mon, Yuki. Get up and tell me where you are. I want to get you home safe."

She shrugs. "I like it here. The rain feels good."

Her phone alerts her that another call is coming in, so she looks and smiles a little.

"Tama's calling me. I miss him… but I don't want to pick up. I think I need to let him go to live a good life."

"He's probably looking for you like I am, baby. Let us find you."

She snorts. "Baby? You never call me baby."

"I'm worried about you."

Yuki laughs and then cries. "Kirishima… Why did it have to be me?"

"I don't know why fate picked you. I wish I knew."

“All I am is a burden to everyone around me."

"No, you're not, Yuki," Kirishima says in her ear. "You're the best damn thing to happen in my life. In Tamaki's life, everyone's." Kirishima’s voice is thick with tears. "We love you so much."

"Hey, you gonna be okay?" a stranger asks. "You don't look too good."

"I don't want to hurt anymore." Her voice is thick with emotion. "I've tried so hard to get over what he did to me, and it took less than a second for all that work to crumble."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Yuki," Kirishima says. "You have made amazing progress to move past this. A month ago, you never would have considered taking the next step with Tamaki."

"We didn't even have sex…"

"Shit, I'm out," the stranger says, walking away.

"So? I bet you went farther than you ever thought you would, and do you know why?"

"Because I'm desperate?"

"Because you trust Tamaki. He makes you feel safe and loved. I bet his love for you goes deeper than anyone else you know."

"How can he love me anymore? I ran away because I got scared of what's in my stupid fucking head."

"Tamaki will never stop loving you," he says softly. "You're everything to him. He always smiles at the mention of your name. I've caught him staring at your picture a thousand times when I walk into his office. There's no way in this universe, or any other universe, that his love for you will go away."

Yuki thinks she hears her name, but rolls over onto her side. "No one has that much love for someone."

"Well, don't you feel the same way about him? Didn't you say he's your soulmate? Soulmates are forever."

She's speechless. That is my name being called.

"If you really believe you and Tamaki are fated, don't run from him. He's all you've ever wanted in a man and you're his everything. Whatever happened today has no effect on his feelings for you."

"Yuki!" It's clearer, but still far away.

"Do you still love him?"

A tear rolls down her nose with the rain. "It hurts how much I love him, Kiri. It's why I have to leave. I'm holding him back."

"Have you thought to ask him if he feels that way?"

Her name sounds closer. A few bystanders seem to alert them to her. She doesn't care.

"How can he not?" A broken sob spills from her lips. "He hardly goes on missions for work because of me. He can't do what he wants to do because I can't survive without his presence. Everything about me keeps him from being the person he's meant to be."

"That's not true."

Yuki turns her head to find a soaking wet Tamaki bent over her with fear and concern in his watery gaze. "Kiri, Tama's here."

Kirishima can't help letting out a laugh in relief. "Thank God. Stay with him. I'll be at his place soon."

Her phone slips from her hand and she gazes up at Tamaki. "Am I dead?"

"No." He hesitates to brush her wet hair from her face. "You're alive. Unhurt. Why… Why are you lying on the sidewalk in the rain?"

"My heart hurt so bad that I fell. I want to stop the pain. I don't want to get up."

Tamaki sits on the curb next to her, fingers now brushing through her hair. "Can I take you home, Yuki? You'll get sick if you stay here…"

"I like it here. It doesn't hurt so much right now." Don't give up on me…

"I feel a lot of pain, too. I almost let it stop me from finding you." He sighs and takes her hand in his. "But I… I love you too much to let you go that easily."

"How can you still love me?"

"I just… I just do. Why won't you believe me?"

She gazes at him with a frown. "Because you're too perfect to be with me."

He scoffs. "I think you're wrong a-about that."

"No…"

Tamaki carefully lifts Yuki into his arms and holds her there like she's going to break if he lets go. "Yuki… you know you… you are the reason I've gotten more confident… right? That weekend when I stayed with you… I was so nervous to be near you. I thought you were so… so pretty and kind. I wanted you to like me… I did everything you wanted… and I liked it." He wipes away some raindrops from her cheek, even though they're covered immediately after. "I wanted to keep doing what you needed of me. Every time I did… you smiled at me like I was everything to you. Anytime I did something out of my-my comfort zone… you encouraged me to keep doing it. I don't shy away from much anymore and… you are why that is." His hands cup her face and he feels his eyes water. "Don't say you're holding me back because you're not. You're why I'm moving forward. I love you for that… I've never felt less than who I am because of you. You… You make me someone I want to be."

He still loves me… but how? Yuki's face scrunches up as emotions build up in her chest, the tightness making it hard to breathe. "I-I'm sorry…"

He simply pulls her into his chest and buries his face into her hair. "It's okay. Please… can I take you home?" The relief that fills him up when she nods against him while trembling brings him to his feet as soon as he gathers her scattered things. "Hold on tight… I don't want you to fall." And he starts walking.

In the rain, Tamaki holds his beloved close to his chest, not only to keep her warm as the air chills—a sign that autumn is coming—but to remind him that Yuki is there. He didn't lose her. And it will undoubtedly take a long time for Yuki to become stronger than what happened to her… but Tamaki is going to stay by her side and encourage her the same way she encouraged him. No matter how hard it might get, he's doing it for her. Because above all else, his love is for her.

[hotchley]

🐨 “And now she doesn’t” oh my gosh that’s hilarious. I love it. Not gonna lie, I had to consult Google cause I wasn’t sure what Eid Al-Adha is a celebration of, and I think your explanation is better than Google’s. Eid Mubarak!

You may be thinking “Kate, it is 5:30am in your part of the US right now. Why are you awake??” That is a valid question. The answer is I DONT WANT TO BE. But in the name of work, I’ve been up for an hour. I have to work a community run thing and it’s super early in the morning. The hit show Parks and Recreation does not accurately depict what it’s like to work for your city’s Parks and Recreation department, I gotta say. There’s a lot more small children, early morning, and less falling in love in the real-life version. So I’m currently making coffee and reading fanfiction in my basement because I don’t wanna wake anyone up.

I’m trying to think of any other news. It’s too early; my brain doesn’t work. I read an absolutely horrible trilogy of books because TikTok told me to. Were they good literature? Nah. Were they outdated and questionable in multiple ways? Yep! That being said, did I blow through all three in less than a week, re-read them and freaking annotate them, and am now unable to stop thinking about them? Indeed. This is not a recommendation, by the way. They’re awful. 10/10 would NOT recommend to anyone. They will ruin you. Also I don’t want you to read those monstrosities and see all the horrors and the THIRTY-TWO trigger warnings and be like “why does Kate endorse these??” I don’t. They’re horrible. They also must be laced with something because once you start, you cannot stop. BookTok has corrupted me. The trilogy was called All For The Game, if you’ve ever heard it mentioned.

Anywho, I gotta leave for work! At 5:45am. Godspeed to me.

Yes, it's both awful and the funniest thing! Yeah, Eid-ul-Adha always gets referred to as second Eid/Bakrid in my house and it's always more toned down for us. Like we still get dressed up and decorate and fast the day before and we've started doing a qurbani here as well as back in India but because there's a lot less build up it's a lot less like: YES! PLANS!

Thank you! It was a strange one because this time round I actually had Covid- so did my mum and sister- so we were all stuck upstairs and if we wanted anything when my dad wasn't here, we had to do full PPE. I enjoyed relaxing. My sister constantly complaining about how rubbish it was kinda dampened the mood, but I technically published my novel that day so!

Oof that does not sound like a lot of fun I currently hate waking up early even more than usual! I've never actually watched Parks and Rec properly, I kinda tuned in and out whilst my sister watched it. I do remember don't be suspicious though! Still, coffee and fanfic sounds like a nice time!

TikTok recommendations seem to very often suck? Like I only ever see people critiquing them or providing different ones! I hated Normal People- why were there no speech marks? And I understand that both Marianne and Connell were white, as was the author, so their experiences with the world are different to mine but I could just never get past Marianne telling Connell to essentially give up all financial stability for an English Lit degree. It felt rude, tone deaf and just stupid and I hated it. So yeah :)

I googled them... it doesn't seem like my type of thing which is probably good otherwise I too would've been reading them! Although I do think I've heard about them but only bad things? I'm not quite sure what the problem with them is, but I'm not sure I even want to know? I will admit to reading all of The Selection series up to the one with their daughter because you know, that was where I drew the line. I also read the Delirium series when I was in year eight or nine? Also truly awful, I would recommend neither bleh.

Good luck and I hope it was fun! Do you do like mornings/afternoons or is it a proper 9-5 thing? How many days? I'm so interested in hearing about your job because it just seems fascinating!

[harley-sunday]

i would die for a soft!max taking care of the reader when they have a panic attack and he’s the only one that can help calm them ooofffff anything w/soft max is an automatic win for me

Babe. 

I don't what happened but I couldn't get this out of my head and so here we are. I hope I did it justice. And that you like it 😊

🧡

Pairing: Max Verstappen x reader (f)

Warnings: language.

Word count: 1k

AN: Ok. So. Wrote this when I couldn't sleep so bare with me on this one. Also, I don't usually take requests but this was too good to pass up and not really a request anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️ and soft!Max really is everything...

Your breathing is shallow. Uneven. This- No. You know how to breathe, come on. In through your nose and- What if it's not enough? What if this is how it's going to be like forever? What if your body will never breathe on its own again? What if you'll always have to actively remind yourself how to breathe? That's not- You can't live like that, can you? Why would you want to live like that? How-

"Just calm down, sweetheart. There's nothing to panic about."

The unfamiliar voice sounds distant and distorted, like you're underwater and someone's trying to- Are you underwater? Are you drowning? Is that what this is? That gulp of water you accidentally took in while doing laps in the hotel swimming pool this morning, is that- Should you have gone to the hospital? Secondary drowning is a thing right? You've read that somewhere or maybe-

"You're safe. You know that right?"

Another voice, female this time, a little louder than the last and the accusation in their tone not lost on you. Are you safe though? Is anyone ever really safe? With the current state of the world anything could happen. Not to mention you're at a fuckin' racetrack, where the likelihood of something bad happening is tenfold. Is that why he isn't here yet? Did something happen to him? Oh God, what if-

"Oh Jesus, really? This isn't real. Snap out of it, will ya?"

Impatience. That's what you're picking up on this time. And you get it. You get that this is not how they imagined spending their time after the race. After all there's a podium ceremony to get to and sponsors to woo, and- Anything but this. Anything but you taking up their precious time with something none of them can even help you with. Great job, you think to yourself. All these people, all having somewhere more important to be. It's your fault they're here. Stuck with you. Missing important-

"She needs like a bag or something to breathe in, right?"

God, no, not the bag. You let out a frustrated moan but immediately feel ungrateful because at least this last voice sounded kinder than the others.

"No, what she needs-" Oh. Oh. "-is for you to all step back, give her space, and shut up."

This is good. You know this voice. You trust this voice. It belongs to your boyfriend. Oh. Shit. What if someone went to get him? What if he was doing press and- What if he was on the podium? Did he end up on the podium? You don't remember. Jesus, what a horrible girlfriend you are, not even remembering where he finished. He must hate being dragged into this-

"Hey," he sounds close but in a good way. Close and kind and- What if it's all just an act? What if-

"Hey," he says again, the back of his fingers ghosting over your cheek, "I'm here."

He is. Here. But there are other places he must be. Other places that are more important than here. Than you. You don't want to keep him. You don't-

"She's been like this for a while now-" Jesus, again with the accusation, you think, even though this is a different voice than before.

"Mate," Max warns whoever it is that spoke up, "step back." He doesn't stop caressing your cheek, doesn't stop touching you and for the first time since this started you feel like maybe you're treading water instead of drowning.

"Yeah, but-"

"Leave," Max all but growls, his hand moving to your shoulder as some sort of lifeline, anchoring you to him as he turns away from you ever so slightly. "You are only making this worse. Fuck off, all of you."

There is a hushed silence as his words land but then the crowd starts to disappear and it feels as if you're finally breaking the surface now that it's just you and him. 

"Hey," his voice is much softer now and there's a slight increase of pressure on your shoulder as he squats in front of you. "I'm here."

You no longer feel like you're underwater, it’s almost as if his voice has guided you up from the depths of the ocean and you take a big gulp of air, your lungs filling and your vision clearing and-

"There you are," Max whispers, almost as if he's scared you'll disappear again if he's too loud. He drops his hands to your lap so he can take yours in his, thumbs rubbing soothing circles over the back of your hands.

You blink a few times, his blue eyes finally coming into focus, almost like a beacon guiding you back to safety but then a ragged breath escapes you, your head still swimming as you ride out the waves of this panic attack.

"I finished first today," Max says then and the smile tugging on the corners of his lips makes his eyes crinkle, "but I think maybe you saw that?" He doesn't wait for you to reply, knows it's best to keep going, to keep distracting you now that he's almost got you to shore, "Ferrari put up one hell of a fight, remember? Checo held them off though-" He shakes his head, "Fuckin' legend. If we make it out of this on top, this championship is as much his as it is mine. Honestly." 

"Can't believe they had us wear those stupid suits though," he continues, his tone light. It helps. It always does. "I'm all for doing something special for the team's home race but I don't ever want to see the guys in lederhosen ever again-" He pulls a face and pretends there's a shiver running through him, "Or Checo."

You can't help but let out a laugh, remembering then what Red Bull made the team wear today, and immediately Max's smile grows wider.

He lets go of one of your hands so he can cup your cheek, "Hi."

"Hi," you croak out, closing your eyes as you lean into his touch.

"You're back," he simply states but there's no escaping the relief you hear in his voice.

You open your eyes and find his, "Almost." You mimic his gesture and put your hand on his cheek, the stubble of his beard rough against your palm, "Thank-"

"Nope," he shakes his head, effectively cutting you off. He puts his hands on your knees for balance and leans forward, brushing his lips against yours and simply says, "I love you," as if that is enough.

Then again, maybe it is. 

[equizona]

Hello! (Feel free to ignore if it makes you uncomfortable!)

May I please request head cannons of the Obey Me Brothers reacting to an Mc that’s just over everything? She doesn’t really care if she’ll die in the Devildom since she doesn’t have anything to belong or look forward to in life, not even if she returns to the Human world. One of the Brothers or a lesser demon could threaten her and she would look them dead in the eye and just say “Go ahead, You’re doing me and everyone a favor 😶” or “Please do 🙂 *opens arms*”

Note: Oh honey, if you ever feel like this I want you to know that there is things to live for, and you'll find them if you stick around. And even if it may not always seem like it, you are worth so much. (On another note, you didn't mention that you wanted a happy ending so...) (Also, is my favorite one obvious? I think it is..)

Fandom(s): Obey Me!

Character(s): Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor.

Scenario: Reacting to an MC that reacts to death threats with a "sure."

Warnings: Self-harm, suicide, death, violence, blood, gore, sickness, injuries, substance abuse, sharp objects, angst, Yandere-themes, bad endings.

Lucifer[Avatar of Pride]

As much as Lucifer likes to pretend he's the one that has the most control over his emotions, he's really one of the worst at it, so the chance of him being the one that threatens you is way too high.

The second you say that his anger is gone, vanished, and instead is the horrible feeling of guilt that is drowning him. Because isn't that his fault?

Isn't he the one that's constantly pressuring you to be better? Isn't he the one who is always threatening to kill or torture you? Make you into Cerberus's chew toy?

"Dear.. what.. did you just say?"

He feels horrible, but his pride won't let him admit it, any of it, and it's one of the times where he hates his sin the most.

Doesn't mean he can't do anything about it though.

Since he's calmed down he'll try and talking about it, asking you why you would say that.

He's no professional, and he knows that he can't just magically help you.

He'll get you a therapist, a human one, so that you have someone outside of them to talk with, but he will make sure that you know his door is always open if you ever need something.

He'll also be significantly less strict with you, letting you get away with things he usually would have had your head for.

And he tries to encourage you to relax with schoolwork a bit. He'll help you if you're having any issues, but the exchange program has to be perfect so if you overwork yourself it won't end up well, right?

That's what he says, but he really just doesn't want you to be stressed.

Mammon[Avatar of Greed]

PLEASE THIS BOY MAY INSULT YOU SOMETIMES BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE HE'S A TSUN-DERE HE WOULD NEVER THREATEN YOU.

So it was probably someone else, let's say a lower level demon?

Honestly when the demon approached the two of you he was ready to step in and tell them off. After all, that was his human, they don't have the right to touch them!

When you say that though..

He can't find it within himself to do anything, he just stares at you in shock as tears run down his cheeks and he doesn't even realize it.

It's at that moment he realizes that the Devildom really isn't a place for a human, and that you should really get back home as fast as you could.

It also makes him realize just how often your life gets threatened by everyone around you. Lucifer, Leviathan, Satan, Beelzebub, Belphegor–

The image of your bloody body in his arms just makes him cry harder, because he failed you and now he's failed so badly that you want death.

He won't allow it to come to that, not ever again does he want to see you die.

He won't allow you anywhere near any of his brothers without him. He won't let you be around for long either, checking in via phone every five minutes or so because he can't be sure that you won't hurt yourself.

He's begging you to talk with him, and he'll drop every insult he tends to say, because you are worth so so much.

Especially to him.

He'll do anything you ask, just don't leave, please?

Leviathan[Avatar of Envy]

He's no stranger to the thought of death. He's seen it happen multiple times before, both in anime and in real life, and the idea of killing himself has crossed his mind so many times but..

This isn't the same.

This is you.

He's so shocked that he can't even say anything, just staring at you with his mouth agape and his eyes wide with horror.

There's tears there too.

He feels sick, he really does. You don't deserve this, but at the same time, this is his fault, isn't it? He's the one who was threatening you because you beat him in a video game once out of the thousands of times you play with him.

He.. he doesn't deserve you, does he?

You deserve better.

But now he's gone and made it so you can't see that. And he isn't quite sure what he should do.

He's sobbing but..

All he's ever wanted was for you to be happy, you know?

If that's what you want, then he'll die it.

And you won't have to do it alone either.

He'll be right there, every step of the way.

Satan[Avatar of Wrath]

It doesn't process to him what you said until the demon who threatened you is dead, a blood, lifeless mess beneath him.

And then it hits him and he just turns to you with a look of horror that quickly turns into rage.

You want to leave him here alone!?

"WHAT!? YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE, HUH? OF YOU WANT TO DIE SO BADLY THEN FINE."

If the two of you are with another brother they'll probably restrain him or rush you away, hoping nothing too bad will happen.

When he's calmed down he'll talk with you and apologize, because he knows that's not what he should have done.

He'll try and convince you to talk with Lucifer so that you could get a therapist, but ultimately the choice is yours.

He'll do his best to be there and reassure you that you mean the absolute world to not only him, but the rest of his brothers too.

If it's just the two of you then it's a different case altogether...

There's no chance that you would be able to outrun him, you know? And when he's angry he just can't ever seem to hold himself back.

Which is something that breaks him as he holds your lifeless and bloody body close to his chest, begging you not to leave him as he cries.

Ultimately, you were the one thing that kept him sane, the one that made him feel like him. Like he was more than just Lucifer's wrath.

Joining you is what he wants to do, but he'll keep himself alive. He'll let himself live with the knowledge of what he did.

And if he ever seems to move on even the slightest?

He gusses they'll just have to find a never avatar of wrath, because that means his punishment is over and now he just has to kill himself in the most painful way he can imagine before he gets to see you again.

He doesn't like God very much, but he prays to him that you don't hate him for what he's done.

Asmodeus[Avatar of Lust]

Asmodeus is extremely confident. He knows he's beautiful. After all, he was the jewel of the celestial realm before he fell, and now he's the most beautiful demon in the Devildom.

He was never so sure about his personality though, until you came.

And.. now you want to leave him..?

"Haha.. that's a funny joke MC, but don't say stuff like that.. okay?"

He lives in denial of it, refusing to ever think back on it again, set on the fact it was just a joke and you love him and you won't want to leave him and–

If Lucifer notices, he'll get you help, and even as Lucifer tries to force him to accept how you feel, he won't.

He can't.

If you just end up living even if that is how you feel, he'll never acknowledge it, choosing to pretend it was a joke.

If you die, or kill yourself, he won't be able to help the fact he thinks your wrong about his personality.

Because if he refused to help the person he loved the most, what type of person was he?

Beelzebub[Avatar Gluttony]

Beelzebub has always adored his family like nothing else.

After Lilith's death, he just became even more protective. They had all suffered so much because of him, because of his inability to save Lilith, so he was almost in debt to them for not hating him.

You became his family too. One of them, and he loves you more than one could imagine. You brought his family back together, made them work out so many of their issues, you were their light.

And because of him that light was dim.

Maybe you felt that way because he never protected you against all the demons good enough, or maybe you were just tired of him.

As much as he's sure you hate him, he refuses to let you do this on your own. He refuses to let you suffer.

He'll talk with Lucifer. Even if you ask him not to, he will, no matter how horrible he feels about it.

You need someone to talk with.

Lucifer will get you a therapist, and while you go through that, Beelzebub won't leave you alone.

Regular check-ups to make sure that you're alright and doing well, to make sure you didn't try anything.

He makes sure that you eat healthy, and that you don't fall into any habits that make you neglect your physical health.

He asks Belphegor to make sure you don't get nightmares. Sleep is important for you.

He's always here to listen or help you with anything you need as well.

He'll give you his schoolwork if you didn't do it, because he doesn't want you to be stressed and it's better if he's in trouble, right?

He tries so hard.

When you're fine you can hate him but don't leave please—

"Please."

Belphegor[Avatar of Sloth]

Never has Belphegor regretted never properly setting you down to apologize.

Was it because of what he did? Was it because you thought they saw you as Lilith? Was it because you were tired of working their issues out for them?

There was so many reasons and he doesn't know what they were.

He'll bring his arms up to hug you, trying not to collapse because he's shaking so much.

He didn't love you because you held Lilith's blood, he loved you because you got him out of that dumb attic and never left him no matter how horrible he got.

He was stupid to think that what he did wouldn't have consequences.

Maybe he should have tried harder. Should have bothered fighting his sin to ask you if you needed someone to be there for you like you had been for him and the rest of his brothers.

He should have tried harder, he really should have, but he didn't.

And because of all of his mistakes you no longer wanted to be alive.

He's sobbing now, holding you as close as possible to him, because he never wants to let you go. He loves you for infinity after all.

But if you no longer wish to be alive, then who is he to keep you here? Force you to suffer any longer?

He's already been so horrible selfish.

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry."

Does he even deserve to apologize?

"I'm sorry I'm so selfish, but if this is what you truly want, then... I only ask for the selfish request you'll let me go with you."

He won't make you kill him, you've been through enough, and having someone's blood on your hands isn't something you should unless you specifically ask him.

He'll let you kill him if it makes you feel better though.

He'll make sure that this is what you want. There will be no coming back from this, so he wants you to know this is what you want.

If you would rather try and figure things out he'll be there every step of the way.

If you want to die, and you're sure you want to do it.

He'll make it as painless for you as possible.

Then after that he'll join you, telling Beelzebub how sorry he is, and that he'll be going with you to see Lilith again.

He's sorry, but he won't allow anyone to do anything if this is what you want.

[charliedawn]

What is their reaction when they find out that they may have grown attached to you ?

You know how Jason can be very insecure and self-conscious ? Well. Prepare for a whole new level. He will check himself in the mirror when you're not looking, and if he doesn't like what he is seeing ? He will smash the mirror and go in a corner to sit and move back and forth, to give himself some reassurance. He still remembers what his mother used to tell him.

" Persons are a nuisance, Jason. You don't need them to survive."

But then, why does he feel like he needs you ? He feels conflicted as to what to believe.

Super jumpy ! He will jump almost every time you touch him or lose his grip of the things he is holding, often ending broken and splattered on the floor. He would be as clumsy as Jason and would want you to spend more time with him. However, he would also be scared of you breaking his heart.

" I..I c..care.."

Like many of your patients, Brahms has trouble finding his words. At first, many thought he was mute, like Jason or Michael. This is why hearing him speak to you always means it is important.

" I..I care.."

He wants to say many things, how he cherishes every moment you spend together, how you make his heart race everytime you are near him or how he wants you to be by his side forever..But, he can't. He can just hope that what he feels can be expressed through eye contact. You may not understand what he wants to say, but you still try to understand. You put your hand on his and reply with a compassionate smile.

" I care about you too. You are a very good friend, Brahms.."

Did you just indirectly friendzone him ? Possibly..You walk out and Brahms sighs before sitting on his bed while hugging his doll to comfort him.

" You turn me on."

He will be absolutely frank about it. He will just step up and tell you in front of anyone. He doesn't give a damn if the others hear him as well. Also, creep alert, will watch you sleep. He will sneak in your bedroom in the middle of the night and just look at you sleep. He wants to touch you so bad, but he knows that that would wake you up. And he doesn't want that. He will just admire you from afar, even pretend that you may like him back. He would just want to get close to you, to look at you and wonder what you may be dreaming about..hoping that you are dreaming of him.

" Oh my sweet..You look so perfect when you sleep.."

Now..You know how Five is very serious about his relationship with Dolores ? Well, you better be prepared by lots of imaginary fights between the two of them, and even a break-up ! *gasp* Drama. He would be in a very bad mood and would scream and attack everyone that approaches his personal space. He would also smash everything in his room. Like, everything. So much that the other nurses would be too scared of him and ask you to handle it.

" Hey. Are you okay, Five ? Did something happen ?"

He would snort and look up at you with visible frustration.

" You happened. Dolores and I broke up. Not that she was one to share her feelings anyway."

You frown in incomprehension before asking with a small airy laugh.

" I don't understand, what does that have to do with me ?"

Your question seems to trigger a nerve and he suddenly stands up to look at you dead in the eye with anger and, somehow, pain..

" Everything ! You're too nice ! Too forgiving ! Too perfect ! You wiped our past as if it was nothing, goddammit ! We're serial killers, Y/N! We're monsters and you treat us as if we were..as if we were.."

He doesn't get to finish that sentence as he seems on the verge of tears. He jumps on his bed to sit and hide his face behind his knees. You seem to finally understand the problem and sigh before sitting next to Five.

" It's okay to have feelings, Five. You can't hide them forever. I'm sorry if it upsets you but, I don't think you're all that bad. Sure, you kill and even eat people. But, I've seen you change. You are a lot less violent and a few more months ? And I'm sure you'll be out of here in no time."

He looks up at you again with a sort of desperation, very uncharacteristic of Five, before finally asking in a tearful voice.

" What if..What if I don't want to go back ? Out there, I'm just a freak. But, here ? I got.."

He doesn't finish his sentence, but you guess what he is going to say and smile understandingly.

"..Friends ?"

He doesn't answer, he only suddenly hugs you tightly and hides his face in your skirt. You hesitate before slowly petting the top of his head affectionately. The gesture seems to relax him, but he quickly straightens up and wipes his tears away. He then stands up and apologizes.

" I..I'm sorry, it was highly inappropriate of me. I'll..I'll let you work."

Before you could say anything, he runs out of the room and leaves you confused and worried.

Lots of uncontrollable laughter. More than usual. He is very nervous when you're around him and sometimes cries while laughing, showing that he is deeply ashamed of his condition. He is very bipolar and will sometimes act very casually around you, only to break into tears when you leave the room. He will stare at you and turn his gaze away as soon as you would notice.

" Well, would you look at that ? Sir Sh*tty the clown seems to have a little crush on the nice nurse.."

Pennywise would tease him about it while Penny cackles behind him. Arthur glares at them both before either ignoring them or leaving the room.

No. Nope. Certainly not. He will try to hide from you. He knows very well what he is feeling, and also what happens to the people he feels this way towards. He just managed to get rid of his curse, he is not about to risk getting on a murder rampage again ! Every time he would see you, he would pretend to be busy or hide. One time, he even jumped out the window to get away from you. It is very odd since Michael is normally the most chill and calm out of all the patients. But one look at you ? And he becomes a panicking mess. He has to get away. He doesn't want to hurt you like he hurt everyone else close to him, like he hurt his family..

" Me ? Having feelings ? Ah !"

One word: denial. He doesn't want to hear about things like feelings. He saved you ? Bah. It was only because he was bored. He will deny everything, but still follow you and pop up out of nowhere to see what you're doing. He enjoys talking to you, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

" Pennywise..You're staring again."

Penny would gently warn him as his big brother would pretend to not have done such a thing.

" Can't an old clown appreciate to look at nice things sometimes ?"

Penny frowns, not understanding his big brother's words until Freddy intervenes by popping next to him with a huge grin.

" Let it go, kid. Your big bro is just too much of a chicken to go talk to her.."

Pennywise growls in annoyance at Freddy before raising his middle finger at him.

" F*ck off Freddy ! At least I don't watch her sleep like a total perv !"

That would result in a fight that you would have to break. Again..

" Pennywise..I think I'm sick.."

Pennywise would admit some day to Pennywise that would sigh in annoyance.

" Stop saying stupid sh*t. You know very well that we can't be sick."

But, upon seeing the devastated face of his brother, Pennywise sighs loudly before turning towards him to focus his whole attention on him.

" Fiiinnneee...Tell me."

Penny's mood seems to lit up as his brother seems to be willing to listen to him.

" OK, so it concerns the nurse, Y/N. Everytime they are near me, I feel things in my stomach, like a million kids were kicking me in there..Everytime they touch me, I feel as if a part of me in my chest is about to burst and I feel warm, very very warm. And then, I feel very very bad when they talk to anyone else..It's horrible. I want it to stop..Should I eat them ?"

Pennywise stays silent for a while before saying with an unusual straight face.

" Penny.."

He starts, but Penny starts panicking as he sees the sour look on his brother's face.

" Oh ! It's bad, isn't it ?! What is it ?! How long do I have ?!"

Pennywise rolls his eyes dramatically at his brother's exaggerated reaction before cutting him off in his worried questions.

" Shut up, you idiot ! You're not dying. You're just feeling.."things" for them."

Penny stops talking and frowns in confusion, his eyes diverging in deep concentration, as if trying to understand Pennywise's words.

" Things ?! What things ?!"

He finally asks with his eyes wide open in obvious loss and Pennywise face-palms himself before answering with a loud sigh.

" You're falling in love, you dumb f*ck !"

At the word, Penny's face freezes and his smile goes downwards as he realizes that his older brother is right.

" Oh, sh*t.."

He curses and Pennywise frowns, as Penny hates curses.

" Language ! I'm the only one allowed to use curses, remember ?!"

Penny nods before asking in a worried tone.

" How do I get rid of it ? I don't like it.."

Pennywise can't help but feel sorry for Penny, as he knew better than anyone that there was no turning back..

" I'm sorry kid. But if it's really love ? You can't..like I can't.."

Penny's eyes widen at his brother's confession.

" You..You..love her too ?"

Pennywise seems to realize what he just said and groans before walking away. He didn't want anyone to know, even though Penny is his brother. Penny understands the wish of his brother to be left alone and starts walking out in the garden to think over what his older brother said..Could it be ? Could he really be falling in love ?

Bonus : The deal

The Horde is blindfolded and dragged to another room where a man and a woman are waiting for them. At first look, he can already tell that this man is one of the unworthy. The unbroken. The weak..His interest is cut short and he then turns towards the woman sitting next to him. Now, this one was interesting..Her eyes betrayed a much deeper complexity and she had a scar running from her forehead to her left cheek that proved she was worthy.

" You..You are broken. Rejoice.."

The woman smiles, but before she could start talking, her partner does it for her.

" Mister Wendell Crumb, we have a mission for you."

But Kevin only grits his teeths at the man.

" You are impure..I want to kill you.."

The man arks an eyebrow, but ignores his threat.

" Fine. Whatever. But first, I want you to be my spy. We didn't get you out of this prison for nothing, mister Wendell Crumb. We want you to be our little spy in the facility. We want you to find out how a certain miss L/N managed to control the patients outside of the facility. Do that, and you'll be as free as a bird..Do we have a deal ?"

He frowns, they wanted him to spy on a nurse ? She must be quite special for them to go to such lengths, to use him as a spy..Yes, quite the unique prey. The Beast was already impatient and Kevin licks his lips before nodding.

" Fine, but on one condition. When you're finished with her, I get to eat her heart.."

The request seems to take the man aback, but it is the lady that Kevin is looking at. She smiles coldly before nodding in agreement.

" Deal."

Kevin finally smiles widely and can't help the excited giggle that gets out from deep within him. Then, the dark and low voice of the beast makes itself heard as the smile grows almost ferocious as he announces. .

" Let the hunt begin.."