#Its been almost 27 years of my life in this one room

[foxgirlmoth]

You ever just get hit hard as hell that you've felt trapped in your place of residence for years and years and you're just so tired from working the most shit jobs for a decade you just wanna scream.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-nine

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: PLEASE, we are begging you guys. Take your time with this one, so many different emotions throughout. Its a big fucking deal and read it slow, immerse yourself in this world while listening to the playlist. Enjoy my lovelies. 😉

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"I'm so fucking glad we're staying in a hotel the next few days," Folio groaned as we walked down the long hallway of the hotel.

I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe the tour is almost over; our last show is tomorrow night."

With our last show tomorrow night, we were spending the next few nights in a hotel and we all planned to take flights back home so we could get there faster. Hollow Souls were also staying in this hotel but they were a floor beneath us but it seemed the farther I went from Y/N, those imaginary pull strings inside of my heart tightened. If it hurt this bad when she was a floor underneath, how bad would it hurt when she was a state away?

As far as I knew, she still had plans to go back to Vegas because that's where her home was, granted it was with Trey. There wasn't a part of me that was worried she would go back to him; I knew she wouldn't. Ever since they fired him, Hollow Souls has been thriving. They posted on their social media pages that Trey was kicked out of the band due to personal reasons and while most of their fans complained about them kicking out their main vocalist, there was a select few that were excited to see what the future of Hollow Souls looked like.

Y/N was upset at first that so many of their fans were boycotting them now because they decided to kick Trey out.

"Seems like they only care about Trey's vocals when I'm the one that actually wrote our songs."

It took a while of Malcolm and Chase talking to her to realize that their future together as a band was looking bright. They could reinvent themselves.

I filled in for the last two shows but after playing my set for thirty minutes before their hour-and-a-half set, my voice was getting raw and sore so Matt thought it be best if I didn't fill in for the last show. I was going to argue, not wanting to let them down, but Chase reassured me they'd figure out what to do for the last show.

Y/N has been glowing since Trey left, slowly becoming a better woman in front of all of us; to me, she'd always been perfect. But we could all see her confidence growing. With her face in the dirt far too many times with Trey, she finally said enough; it doesn't hurt anymore. As all of his lies crumbled down, Y/N found a new life.

To say all of us were proud of her was a fucking understatement.

"Hey," Jolly bumped shoulders with mine, pulling me from my thoughts as we stopped in front of the door to his room. "Bryan wants us ready to go in twenty minutes."

Oh, right.

We were currently in Oregon and Bryan planned some time today on our off day to visit one of the national parks here to take some promo photos of us.

"Yeah, I'll be ready to go. I need to change quickly and I'll meet you guys down in the lobby," I said as I walked down a few more doors until I stopped in front of my room; the one I was sharing with Nick.

He patted my shoulder as he walked past me into the room. "You should ask if Y/N wants to come with."

I shrugged off his words, trying not to make it seem that I'd been tossing around the idea for the last hour when Bryan first told us about his plan.

"She might have plans with Chase and Malcolm," I said while tossing my suitcase onto the bed, quickly rifling through the clothes to find something to change into.

"She doesn't. Last I heard, Chase and Malcolm are going out tonight so Y/N will be alone," Nick raised a suggestive brow.

With a long sigh, I turned to face him. "You already planned this, didn't you?"

"It was Chase's idea," he answered.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Y/N.

Get dressed, I'll be by your room in fifteen minutes.

She responded quickly before I had the chance to set my phone down.

Care to tell me where we're going?

All you need to know is to dress warm, angel.

You're full of surprises. See you soon, mochi. Room 245.

"Mochi?" I chuckled to myself while pocking my phone.

With a smile playing at my lips and my heart pounding loudly in my heart at the nickname, I tossed on a fresh hoodie and my tan jacket, opting to leave my hair down. Nick finished getting dressed when I did and once we stepped out in the hallway, Jolly and Folio were already waiting for us right outside our door.

"Fuck," I cursed while clutching my chest. "You scared the shit out of me, Folio."

"Too busy thinking about Y/N, huh?" He gave a playful smile.

Shoving him on the shoulder, I mentioned we needed to stop by her room before heading down to the lobby.

Jolly adjusted the guitar bag on his back. "She's coming with?"

I hesitantly nodded. "Is that alright? Nick said she was alone, and I felt bad if we left her while we did something."

They all smirked at my rambling as we took the stairs down one floor, our footsteps echoing in the small confined space.

"Of course it is, we don't mind when she tags along," Jolly said.

Coming to a stop in front of door 245, I gently rapped my knuckles against it and waited for her petite voice to carry through the wood. It was silent for a few moments, nerves ate away at my stomach as I wondered why she wasn't answering yet.

I knocked once again, this time with a bit more force, and breathed a little when a loud curse sounded from the other side.

"Hang on, someone's at the door."

I looked over to Nick with a raised brow, and he merely shrugged. "Chase and Malcolm are gone so I don't know who she's talking to."

The door opened with a quick brush of air, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. Y/N was dressed in a pair of black tights, and a deep orange sweater that rested to the middle of her thighs, and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. I had to resist the urge to wrap my fingers through it to pull her back to me as she turned back into the room.

"Give me two minutes, I have to get my shoes," She said while clutching her phone to her ear. "No, Dad. Not you. I've got plenty of time to talk."

While the rest of the guys hung out in the hallway, I leaned against the wall right next to her bed and watched her as she slipped on her typical Doc Martin, nodding every so often to something her dad was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Dad, you seem to forget that you're seventeen hours ahead of me right now," she laughed causing my heart to flutter. "It's only noon here. Wait, why are you calling me so early? Isn't it your day off?"

She paced around the room looking for something and realizing what it was; I grabbed her bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I got it."

Y/N smiled her thanks before the conversation with her dad took her attention again. "No, I haven't talked to Mom in a while…. well, the last time she tried to guilt trip me into staying with her when the tour was over…I'm not staying at Trey's place anymore. We broke up.…..yea, long time coming, tell me about it….I'm sure I'll figure it out but I'm not staying in Vegas anymore…..hell yes I'm keeping Salem; asshole doesn't do shit for my cat."

I couldn't ignore the way my stomach flipped hearing that she didn't plan on staying in the same state as Trey.

"I can't move in with Malcolm or Chase because they're actually finding their own place together…Dad, they're dating; have been for the last six months…Yeah, that will explain exactly why Chase and I never got together."

I chuckled as I thought of her dad trying to set up her and Chase.

"You saw videos from the show last night?" There was a clear shock in her voice as she continued to talk with her dad as she rushed around the room getting ready.

"I'm surprised because you don't even know how to work face time," she giggled. "Oh, he's a friend of ours. We've been touring with his band for the last few weeks. Yeah, he filled in the last couple of shows….you think so? That's what everyone is saying online."

Her gaze flicked up to mine as her lips parted slightly, whatever her dad said made her give a long pause.

"Just a friend, dad." Then she turned swiftly on her heels away from me to whisper something low into the phone.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me with a pulled expression as she looked over her shoulder..

I waved her off. "Take your time."

"Dad, you know I miss you but I can't move to Japan; not now. But yes, I promise to visit you as soon as I can."

Eventually, after another minute, she said goodbye before hanging up with an audible groan. "Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he forgets we talk almost every other day. He wants a play-by-play of my life every time."

"He wants you to visit?" I questioned.

She nodded while slipping into a jacket. "Yeah but its hard to find time. You need more than a weekend to visit Japan; there's so much to do."

"Yeah," I pushed her hand away when she went to reach for her bag. "I've got it."

"Noah, you don't have to carry my bag," she chuckled.

I shrugged. "I don't mind. Ready?"

"Yep," she smiled that heart-stopping smile.

When she walked past me towards the open door, my fingers grazed the inside of her wrist to stop her.

"Mochi?" I asked.

"Yes," she responded immediately. "Because you're the sweetest and your tummy is soft."

She poked her finger into my stomach before letting out a loud shriek of laughter as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her into my embrace, the both of us walking to the doorway where the guys were waiting.

"Malcolm and Chase are going to meet us once they're finished with their date," Y/N said.

"I'll text them the address," Nick said while pulling out his phone.

"Where are we headed?"

"The mountains," Folio answered with a smile.

"Ooh," she slipped out of my embrace, much to my dismay, to rummage around her suitcase for a book before she came back to me, lifting my arm and throwing it over her shoulder once again. "Now I'm ready."

Resisting the urge to press a kiss to her forehead, I set my sunglasses over my eyes and pulled her along with me as she let the door close behind us and ignored the smug look Nick threw my way as we walked past him; Y/N wrapping an arm around my back.

NOAH

"Can you believe how many people are calling for us to collaborate? It's all over Twitter," Nick said while browsing on his phone.

"Shit, really?" Y/N peered over from the back seat so she could gaze down at Nick's phone, who sat in front of her.

I was driving the van to the location that Bryan chose for our photo shoot but Folio called shotgun before she could which earned a cute little pout on her lips; lips that I wanted so bad to taste once again. So she sat in the far back with Jolly while Nick and Bryan sat in the middle. It was weird not having Chase or Malcolm with us since we did everything together on our off days.

"What are they saying?" I wondered while keeping my eyes on the road.

"Fans want you to feature on Hollow Souls next album," Y/N grinned as our eyes locked in the rearview mirror for a few seconds.

I hummed while pulling the van to a stop at the park's entrance. "I'm around whenever you need me, angel."

Once we all piled out, I met Jolly and Bryan at the back of the van to help them unload the equipment while Y/N chatted quietly with both of the Nicks, and out of the corner of my eye; I marveled at how goddess-like she looked with the afternoon sun casting her with her own aura glow. Jolly caught me staring because he smacked my chest before handing me the guitar he brought.

"You could ask her out, ya know," Bryan smirked.

I snapped my gaze over to him. "I can't."

"Why not? It's clear she feels the same since she's here right now," he said.

A long sigh fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my face. "It's not that easy, guys."

Bryan rolled his eyes and then hung his camera from his neck. "I mean you've already kissed, how much easier could things be between you two?"

"You told him?" I seethed at Jolly, who held up his hands.

"I didn't say anything. You two give it away with all the romantic googly-eye shit," he chuckled while he and Bryan began walking up the long trail toward the top of the mountain where we planned on taking the pictures.

"Hey," Y/N smiled as she bounded up next to me. "Little photo shoot?"

Immediately the scowl that followed Byran and Jolly turned into a warm smile, matching Y/N's, and I nodded. We began walking step in step, hands brushing against each other every so often, and I nearly linked fingers with her more than once. However, when we reached some rocky terrain while walking up a hill, Y/N cursed herself for not wearing smarter shoes.

"Here," I bent low in front of her and patted to my back.

"No, you're not carrying me," she tried to laugh it off, but I knew she was nervous about me carrying her weight on my back.

"Angel."

I peered over my shoulder in time to see her place her hands low on her hips.

"Mochi," she teased back with a small smirk.

My heart skipped a long beat at hearing the nickname again. It sounded so fucking sweet falling from her lips; almost as much as my actual name sounded.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," I said, still bent low at my knees.

Y/N pulled at the bottom of her sweater dress. "I don't want to give these bozos a show."

She threw a thumb over her shoulder towards both Nick's who walked a few paces behind her. I rose to my knees and gave her a suggestive smirk while closing the distance between us.

"What color are they?"

"Uh," Y/N stammered but quickly recovered. "A cute olive green. Looks great against my skin tone."

A low noise vibrated in the back of my throat and I stood straighter as Folio walked passed just in time to feel the growing sexual tension.

"Either you hop on his back or I will," he joked as he and Nick walked passed us.

She stared up at me and slowly licked her lips, an action I watched carefully through my sunglasses. "Noah?"

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," her voice was quiet, and I thought I misheard her.

I titled my head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," she finished with a boop to my nose.

I scrunched up my face. "Did-did you just boop my nose?"

"See!" She pointed to my face. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally," I breathed a low chuckle.

"Mochi, literally," she mocked while sticking her tongue out.

My fingers itched to grab it but Bryan's loud voice echoed through the trees from far ahead. "Let's go you losers! You're holding us up."

I swear to-.

"What will it be, angel?" I asked.

Y/N dramatically sighed before motioning for me to spin around, which I did with a quick wink.

"If you drop me, I swear to Hades," She grumbled while adjusting her dress.

The warmth radiated from her in giant waves as her legs wrapped around my sides and I hooked my arms underneath her thighs to hoist her up.

"I swear to Hades that I will not drop you," I promised while walking up the steep hill towards the rest of the guys. "Do you actually pray to the Greek Gods?"

She flicked my ear. "No, silly. I just like to joke around with them. They're my favorite mythology."

"Will you teach me about them?

"I'm honored you asked; I'd love to," she ran her fingers through my long hair and I briefly let my eyes flutter shut at the calming feeling.

"Only if you let me braid your hair."

My eyes snapped open. "Uh, we'll see about that."

She flicked my ear again. "You're no fun."

Hooking her tighter against me, I closed the distance between us and the guys in a few long strides. Nick gave the two of us a look as I set Y/N down gently on her feet, she quickly pulling down her dress.

"You didn't see shit," she pointed a firm finger to all of us.

"Nope."

"Nothing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bryan held up his camera and snapped a few pictures of Y/N; who in return, flipped him the finger.

I watched with a racing heart as she messed around with the guys, almost as if she'd been part of our little group for years.

"Alright," Y/N pulled the book out of her bag. "I'll let you guys do your thing. If you need me, I'll be reading over there."

She pointed to the edge of the mountain that looked over the small lake we drove past to get here.

"Be careful, angel," I warned.

"I'll be fine," Y/N rolled her eyes but as she turned, she tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit before standing straight.

I raised a teasing brow at her while crossing my arms over my chest. "What was that?"

"Fuck you," she taunted with her middle finger.

Don't tempt me, angel.

The next hour passed in a blur as we took countless pictures, just having a fun, relaxing time. Every so often, my gaze would fall onto Y/N as she leaned up against a large willow tree, book perched in her lap. The wind blew through her ponytail every so often and I marveled at how fucking breathtaking she looked when her face would scrunch in surprise with whatever she was reading.

I knew from the moment I stepped off our bus the first day of the tour when I saw her standing amongst the group; when we first met. It wasn't the typical love at first sight bullshit Folio talks about that happens in the movies. It was more like a familiarity, almost like 'oh, hello. It's you. It's always going to be you.'

"Noah, could you take a little step forward," Bryan directed.

Snapping my gaze away from Y/N reluctantly, I followed Bryan's orders for another long few minutes until he decided we got enough pictures. I motioned towards Y/N, who still had her nose perched in her book, and Bryan knew what I silently was saying because he snapped a few pictures of her.

Malcolm and Chase walked up just as we finished our photoshoot so a quick idea came to my mind.

"Angel," I called.

She looked up. "Hm?"

Not saying anything, I waved her, Malcolm, and Chase over to our position which they did hesitantly.

"If Bryan is cool with it," I pointed to him. "What do you guys say for a Hollow Souls photoshoot? New and reimagined?"

Bryan immediately agreed. "Let me change out some things and we can get started.

Chase and Malcolm also agreed with a nod. "I think it'll be good for us."

"You guys don't have to do this for us," Y/N stated. "You've already done so much for us, Noah by filling in."

I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans. "I take care of the people I care about."

She pondered my words for a long moment and eventually let out a long breath. "Alright fine."

Once Bryan returned, the rest of stepped back to give them space to work. Nick was the only one who watched me as Jolly, Folio, and I kept our eyes on Hollow Souls. We grabbed a few beers from the cooler Jolly packed and was nursing them slowly.

"You know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe slip away just the two of you," Nick whispered.

I peered over to him and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the shoulder. "Whatever."

"I'm just saying," he held up his hands in defense. "A night under the stars in the mountains. Anybody would kill for a date like that."

Nick's words weighed heavily on my brain and when she began walking towards me, I made the haste decision by grabbing the guitar that was leaning against the tree.

"Hi," Y/N smiled as I met her halfway.

My heart warmed at the sight.

"Do you want to go somewhere more secluded, just the two of us?" I suggested with a hopeful smile.

I didn't want to think how I would feel if she rejected me and walked away from me.

"Sure," she answered quickly with a glimmer shining in her eyes.

Ultimately, after walking for a few minutes, we decided on an area far from the rest of the group down the water's edge. We sat down in the sand, our knees brushing against each other, and held the guitar in my lap as I watched her stare out into the vast distance of the water. There was a faraway look in the depths of her eyes as she messed with something on her wrist, fiddling it between her fingers.

A hair tie; the one I gave her the last time we were on the beach together. I wondered where it went but decided that I never wanted it back. It's hers to keep; along with everything else I gave her.

"How are you doing, angel?" I asked, breaking the growing silence.

She didn't look at me, kept her eyes straight ahead.

"I'm-." A hesitant breath. "I'm not sure. I want to believe I'm doing okay with the breakup of not only my relationship but also the band. For the longest time, Hollow Souls was the four of us and we released three records together. The future scares the shit out of me. Can the three of us reinvent a new Hollow Souls or do we need to find someone to replace Trey completely?"

I strummed a few random notes on the guitar; the melody echoing into the sounds of the waves.

"I think a fresh start in all aspects is good for you," I answered slowly, trying to get my thoughts and words right. "I've said it from the start, you're the heart and soul of this band, Y/N. The screams were a bonus. It didn't make or break you guys."

She finally looked towards me and her eyes darted over every inch of my face, wondering if my words were the truth. With her, they always were.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, mochi. Truly."

I scrunched up my face to show that the nickname wasn't my favorite but deep down, my insides were floating in pure bliss having her call me something so disgustingly cute. If any of the guys heard it, though, they would give me shit until the end of my days.

"Ditto, angel, ditto."

I tried to play it cool, sauvé, and chill. My typical demeanor was chipping like ice though, the fear of what would happen if it broke completely had its vise grip on me. No one has ever considered a fuckin a nickname for me, not one without a punchline. Not one without a groan or a cursed tantrum that followed. I wasn’t sure if the pure bliss I was feeling was normal, but who the hell wants normal? Hearing it come from her lips meant everything to me.

"Let's play something," I motioned to the guitar.

"Ooh, what do you have in mind?" She asked while turning her body to face me completely head-on and letting her hair flow as she took it out of the ponytail.

The view of her sitting in front of me with the waves crashing behind her, the setting sun's rays breaking over the horizon stole the breath from my chest.

"Only Love," I answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Y/N's nose scrunched up with confusion and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest fucking thing ever.

"Noah, that was a demo song from three years ago."

I shrugged and played the first few notes of the song. "Might be silly to some but to me, it means a lot."

It was true. I listened to that song on repeat when it first came out. It was the first song I heard by Hollow Souls and Y/N's voice captivated my heart with its claws. I remember laying on the pullout couch next to Nick in his bedroom as I stayed there yet again. My mind was racing with only one thought.

I have to fucking make it. I needed to buy my own couch that brought a sense of comfort and security I yearned for.

That's when her soft voice came through my headphones and it shocked me to hear a feminine voice after Of Mice and Men. I brushed the hair away from my eyes as I settled deeper into the couch and let Y/N's angelic voice lull me to sleep that night and far too long after.

Cut to three years later and the girl who wrote that song is here in front of me. Some may call it a ‘rockstar crush. Would she be considered that? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I had pent-up memories, and needed to hear that sweet voice sing it, just for me all these years later.

Y/N's real, right there in front of me.

"I'm shocked you remember that song."

"Why wouldn't I? You talked about it being on the cloud during that one livestream," I answered.

Her eyes doubled. "You watched the livestream?"

"Twice."

A red hue brushed across the soft skin of her face as she tilted her head down towards the sand, long hair covering her face.

"No," I brushed away the hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face, angel. I want to see all of you if you'd let me."

"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I don't even realize I do it."

"Don't apologize. Never apologize to me. Just understand that this is how I see you. Now, enough sadness. Sing for me, angel."

She looked up at me through lashes with a small smile. "Do you know how to play it?"

I snorted, a little hurt that she would doubt me, but proved her wrong as I played the opening part of the song.

"I told you I watched the stream twice."

"Okay," she nodded. "Where did you want me to start?"

"Sing the whole song for me. Please?" I begged.

"You want me to sing the whole song?"

"I do," I rushed out.

Y/N gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll play the whole thing- but only because you asked me too, no one else gets the privilege.”

I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. “They better not.”

She took a deep breath while shutting her eyes as I played the tune on the guitar.

"I’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent cause only hell knows where you’ve been. Your built composure’s wearing thin and all your walls are caving in. Before you shut this down, I just wanna lift you up. I’ll take all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough."

We both could hear the ache in our hearts as it bled out, the lyrics mean so fucking much right now.

"Now don’t you shut this down. Ooh no don’t you give this up. I took all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough. Is it enough? If we don’t bend, then this might break. Please don’t give into this pain. Just keep on counting down the days and dream of me to keep you safe."

Y/n opened her eyes to meet mine, a blaze of passion that cut deep into my bones.

"Before you came around I was lost and out of place. You’re the only love I found and I’m hoping that you’ll stay. Please stay."

As we played on together in perfect harmony, there was one thing bright in clear in my mind: I'd stay for as long as she let me.

"Fuck," she breathed. "I forgot how much I loved singing this song."

I nodded in agreement while setting the guitar down next to me. "It's one of my favorites. It's actually what got me into Hollow Souls. I'd been hooked on your voice since that first night on Nick's couch all those years ago when I first heard it."

Y/N beamed when an idea struck her with such force, she stumbled to her feet. "I have to talk with Chase and Malcolm about something."

She took off a few steps in front of me, clearly excited about this idea she had. As we reached the rest of the guys, Y/N made a beeline toward Chase to tell him about her idea while I walked up to Nick and Folio, the former giving me a look.

"So my date idea was good, huh?" He playfully jabbed my side.

I pushed him away with a groan of embarrassment. "Fuck off, Nicholas."

"Oh, he pulled out the full name," Folio teased.

Jolly and Bryan joined us as we finished packing up the van and when I glanced over to Y/N, I noticed Malcolm pinching her cheeks playfully and she smacked his hands away, her cheeks flushed with her own embarrassment and large smile.

NOAH

"Oh wow, look at all of these beautiful people tonight!" Y/N's voice carried through the sold-out arena.

It was the last show of tour and Hollow Souls just took the stage for their set. We could feel the nerves radiate off of all three of them all the way where we stood on the stage to watch them. This was new what they planned on doing tonight but the three of them spent the rest of last night after we parted ways at the hotel and all morning and afternoon today practicing nonstop a new setlist. They wanted to show everyone tonight the first step towards the new Hollow Souls.

"Where's Noah?!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

Jolly chuckled from beside me. "Think they'll be upset you don't show up tonight?"

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I hope not. This is something that they need to prove they can do. The fans need to have faith in Hollow Souls."

"Well, about that," Malcolm spoke into his microphone while adjusting his bass strap.

"Now before you all start booing us off the stage," Chase spoke next from his spot above on his makeshift drum stage. "Noah has been fucking killing it not only with Bad Omens this tour but also helping us out a lot. But tonight, we wanted to do something a little different. We still have our guitar tech filling in for us!"

The crowd cheered for their guitar tech, which made him give an awkward wave.

"I know this may take getting used to, but we appreciate your support in doing what’s right for us and our band," Y/N said. "It means so fucking much to all of us you still showed up tonight even knowing Trey is no longer with us. For that, we're going to give you a kick ass show you deserved. Don't give up on Hollow Souls. We cut out the disease and are ready to fucking blossom."

Y/N peered over to me and with a small wave and wink, she sang the first few lyrics of Only Love.

NOAH

Darkness cascaded over my sleeping form, a brush of moonlight breaking through the curtains pulled tight in our hotel room, and I buried myself deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Sleep was within my grasp and after the last few weeks, the thought of finally being able to sleep in my own bed back at home made it that much easier to grasp it.

Until my phone buzzed from its place on the nightstand and my hand smacked around until it grabbed it. Through hazy vision, I blinked a few times for the words to clear.

Hey, are you awake?-Angel.

I sat up in bed and rubbed away the rest of the sleep from my eyes. It only meant one thing when someone texted you the typical you up text.

Yeah, couldn't sleep.

Bullshit, you were seconds away from waking up Nick with your snoring.

I stared at the bubbles that appeared on my screen and then disappeared, only to reappear right before her next text came through.

Would it be alright if I came by to hang out? Or is it too late?

The clock at the top of my screen showed it was just before midnight.

Not at all. I've got snacks, and we can finally finish watching Spirited Away. Room 392

Be there in five minutes. I'll bring some goodies too! :)

I chucked a pillow at Nick, who was fast asleep in his bed, but when he remained sleeping, I threw another. Eventually, he groaned, slowly waking up.

"You need to leave." I scrambled out of bed and pulled away the blankets from Nick. "Y/N's coming by to hang out."

Nick smoothed down his bedhead, a sly smirk on his lips. "You're kicking me out right now?"

"Fuck yes I am. Go bunk with Bryan or Matt," I said while changing out of my old gray sweats for a pair of black joggers, opting to put on a shirt.

He yawned before grabbing the things he would need and dragged his feet to the door, sending a text to whoever he bunked with.

"Be safe!" Nick called out before the door shut behind him.

With seconds to spare, I quickly tidied up the room then set up a variety of snacks and pulled up the movie on my laptop, setting it on the bed just in time for a soft knock to sound on the door. I let out a few deep calming breaths and did a quick once over of myself in the mirror.

"Hi," I smiled once I opened the door.

Y/N's eyes grazed over every inch of me as she shifted on her feet in the doorway, clutching a bag close to her chest. She was dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt.

"Do you always sleep shirtless?" she asked with a raised brow.

I stepped to the side, allowing her to step inside the room. "Every hotel room I sleep in can't get any colder than seventy degrees. I need it to be at least sixty-eight. I run hot when I sleep and the guys know not to mess with the thermostat back home."

"Wow, good to know. I'll keep my hands to myself when I come over," she wiggled her fingers after setting her bag down on the couch.

Please don't.

I peeked a brow. "When you come over?"

"Oh, if you thought you saw the last of me because the tour is over, you're wrong," she fell onto the couch with a huff of breath. "I'm moving to Los Angeles."

My heart thumped loudly in my chest but I did my best to hide my excitement when I sat next to her.

"You are?" I questioned.

She nodded with that room-brightening smile. "I had a long talk with Chase and Malcolm tonight and we thought it is best. With us trying to reinvent Hollow Souls it'd be good if we were together for the writing process. Malcolm already found a place big enough for us and while he's going there to get things ready, Chase is flying back with me to Vegas to help me pack my things."

I shifted in my seat, resting my arm against the back of the couch, behind Y/N. "Do you think Trey will be there?"

"Probably but that's why Chase is coming with me; in case things go south."

"I could come too if you'd like," I stumbled over my words only slightly.

Y/N rested a hand on my knee and squeezed it. "You need to stop worrying so much about me, Noah. I can't ask you to change your plans for something I should do on my own."

"You're worth it, angel," I vowed while running a finger through the soft waves of her hair.

We stayed in that position for a minute longer, simply staring into each other's eyes, and when I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, Y/N let out a soft whine. The thick tension that always seemed to be around us intensified now, and it was almost hard to breathe, let alone keep my thoughts off the way her hand grazed a few inches higher on my thigh.

I cleared my throat while nodding to the bag next to her. "What did you bring?"

"Oh," she snapped out of her trance and set it on her lap. "Last tour, I started this tradition on the final night I celebrate by doing self-care."

She pulled out an array of masks and different colors of nail polish and then set them on the small coffee table in front of us.

"Sweet, hand me one," I nodded towards the masks.

"You do masks?" Y/N giggled.

"What, you think I get this perfect skin with just water?" I jeered with a smile.

For the next while, we sat with our face masks on and watched the movie on the small screen of my laptop. It took almost no convincing from her to paint my nails black; her choosing a burgundy color for her nails. But now, what she was trying to convince of me gave me a slight pause.

"I don't know, angel. I don't let just anyone touch my hair," I said while putting away my laptop, us finishing the movie.

Y/N moved to the chair that sat in the room's corner and had her legs spread wide. "It's a good thing I'm not anyone. Now, get your ass over here and let me braid your hair."

For added effect, she pouted her bottom lip out and gave me those big doe eyes.

"Fine," I sighed before sitting on the floor between her legs, my back to her.

I shivered under her touch as she raked her fingers through my hair to break apart the small knots that gathered while I slept earlier.

"So, which Greek God is your favorite?" I asked.

She hummed. "Without a doubt, Medusa. Her story is tragic and sometimes often told wrong but that's the thing with mythology; there are so many different versions, you just have to choose which one you believe more."

"Medusa is the one with the snake hair, right?"

"Yeah," she turned my head to the left as she began braiding that side. "Some stories said she was an original gorgon sister but recent tellings from Ovid say she was a beautiful maiden who worked in Athena's temple. Poseidon saw her from afar and just like Zeus always did, Poseidon decided he wanted Medusa. He had sex with her on the temple steps and Athena punished her by turning her into the gorgon with snake hair and cursed any man to turn to stone when they looked at her."

I whistled low. "Shit, Greek gods were assholes."

Y/N snorted. "You don't even know the half of it."

Once she finished the left side, she turned my head to the right so she could start on that side.

"How'd her story end?"

"In tragedy, like every other myth. Perseus was sent to behead her by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry Perseus's mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, sandals with gold wings from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades's helm of invisibility."

"Wait," I turned to look up at her, which made her chastise me because I messed up the braid. "Athena, who turned her into this monster, helped the guy who was sent to kill her?"

"Fucked up, I know."

With stern hands, she turned my head to the right again. "Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus could slay her; he did so while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon so when Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body."

"Oh Pegasus, from the Disney Hercules," I noted.

"That movie is so wrong but what do you expect for a kids' movie," Y/N chuckled then slapped her thighs. "All finished."

She showed me my reflection through her camera on her phone and I couldn't stop the smirk that pulled at my lips.

"I'll have to admit, angel. I look good with braids," I admitted while snatching her phone from her.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" She asked while reaching for it.

I leaned far back from her and posed for a few selfies. "I thought you'd like an updated selfie of me. I know you have the other two I sent you a few weeks ago."

With a red face, she snatched her phone back and held it close to her chest. "I do not."

Bullshit.

"Right, then let me see your pictures," I teased while kneeling in front of her, hands resting on her thighs, her skin ablaze with heat.

She swallowed thickly. "Fuck you, Sebastian."

READER

I swallowed thickly while clutching my phone to my chest, knowing that he was correct about saving those two selfies he sent me before.

"Are you going to look at the selfie I took?" Noah taunted.

With a breath, I peered down at the phone only to suck in a large breath, body shivering underneath his warm touch on my thighs.

"That's your new contact picture, mochi," I smirked while setting it and leaned deeper in the couch, not realizing that I pressed my core closer to Noah's face.

His eyes burned as his gaze darted from between my legs up to my face and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost imagining the taste.

"Angel," his voice was deep, it rumbling in his chest.

All the heat shot straight to my pussy as it clenched with desire, something that always happened when around Noah. Before, I took care of myself with this exact image in my mind but now that it was about to happen made me buzz with excitement.

"Can I?" He asked while breathing over my lap.

I raised my hips towards his face, all morals or thoughts if this was the best idea flew out of the window. We waited long enough for this moment ever since we shared that kiss so long ago. I wasn't a religious person at all but fuck, did I pray to Aphrodite about this moment countless times.

"Please," the word choked out on my lips.

With a low growl, Noah pulled me off of the chair and tossed me onto the bed before he crawled between my spread legs. His long fingers hooked the waistband of shorts and panties pulling them off in almost a quick snap and when blazed eyes stared down at my bare pussy, I tried to close my legs.

"Don't," Noah demanded while gripping my thighs tight to spread my legs again. "Don't hide a fucking thing from me, angel."

Shit.

"I've never actually-," The words died on my lips when I felt embarrassed about what I was about to say.

Noah leaned over me. "Wait, are you going to say what I think you're going to say?"

I turned my head away from him. "He never wanted to go down on me."

Noah cursed while cupping my chin so I could meet his gaze. "Don't think about him, angel. Just lay back and enjoy this."

I did my best to nod in his grasp. "Okay."

He suddenly crashed his lips to mine in a fiery, passionate kiss, as he forced his tongue past my lips to taste every inch of my mouth and I moaned into it, nails scratching against the bare skin of his chest. Noah's teeth dragged over my bottom lip as his hand dragged down my side to slide up underneath my shirt, fingers pinching at my nipples.

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never being this turned one, and for a moment I wondered if it would be alright; no pain.

Noah helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt over my head and soon was laying bare in front of him, hair sprawled around my head.

"Fuck, angel. You're fucking beautiful."

For the longest time, I was told something different from how I looked. So hearing the truth and sincerity from Noah made me almost close my legs in front of him. But with his tight grip on my hips to keep me locked against the bed, I knew he could read my thoughts.

"Don't go there. Stay here with me," he said before his lips pressed over every inch of skin from my lips to my chest, down my stomach, and stopped right about my pussy.

I whined the smallest of sobs when Noah took his time, lips ghosting over me. By now I was almost begging and when I finally felt the wet flick of his tongue against my clit, I breathed out a shaky curse. Noah pressed the fullness of his tongue against my lips, licking me up from the bottom to the top, spreading my legs wider apart. I bit my hand to keep the noises at bay.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh.

"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes.

My hands now grasped at the blanket beneath me as I raised my hips farther into his mouth, his lips wrapping around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. I always thought my Gspot was in my clit because it was hard to have an orgasm any other way than rubbing myself. Without even telling Noah this, it was as if he knew exactly what my body needed.

It happened so fast, before I knew it he was devouring me like a dying man. I’ve never felt euphoria until now; this must be how it feels to see the moon, the moon that changes its orbit. He had me spinning.

"I love the way you taste, angel." Noah broke away from my clit for a second before diving back it.

The familiar feeling of an orgasm built in my stomach, the tension pulling so fucking tight it was seconds away from snapping. My spine tingled with anticipation as my body tensed, knees shaking underneath Noah as he rubbed his tongue in faster but shorter circles, moaning with the taste that lingered on his lips.

"N-noah. 'M so close," I let my head fall back deeper into the mattress.

"Let go, I've got you."

With a strangled breath, I let the orgasm crash through me like a tsunami, a bright white light edging at the corners of my eyes while Noah licked me through the last few aftershocks. As my breathing calmed, I lifted my head in time to see him stand to his feet, stepping out of his joggers only to stand in front of me in his black briefs.

I licked my lips when I saw his cock straining against the confines of the material until he palmed himself in a few strokes.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

I shook my head with desperation clear in my voice. "No, please. I need this-I need you, Noah."

He cursed before sliding off his briefs with desperation and urgency, his hard cock springing against his thigh, and I nearly died at that sight alone. All of my imagination did nothing compared to the real thing, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for a few different reasons. Sex with Trey was uncomfortable but with Noah's size, I feared it would only hurt. The only saving grace was that he worked me open and the added wetness would make up for the slight pain.

"Are you on anything?" Noah asked while kneeling between my legs.

A lot of different shit.

"No," I said.

He leaned over to a bag that lay at the foot of the bed and rummaged around for a few seconds before retrieving a condom. I watched with anticipation as pre-cum seeped out of the slit when he ripped it open and slid it over his length then perched himself between my legs again, the head of his cock pressing gently against me. He wrapped one of my legs around his hip then slowly, sunk deep inside of me, and I bit my tongue hard to keep my strangled cry quiet. I knew there was going to be some pain; it was inevitable, but I didn't expect it to feel so good either.

"Fuck," Noah rested his forehead against my collarbone. "So tight."

He didn't move at first, relishing in the way I felt gripping his cock, and I couldn't take it anymore; I needed him to move.

"Noah," I begged while grinding against him.

One hand gripping my thigh, the other was placed next to my head to keep himself supported as he finally moved his hips in slow, deep strokes.

"Faster," I panted, almost pleading.

Slow was good but right now I needed fast.

Noah accepted my pleas and began slamming into me with such force, I cried out in name with a mixture of pleasure and pain. My hand slipped between our bodies to rub at my clit, hoping that the sensation would ease the pain a bit, but it could only do so much.

He noticed something was wrong with the way my face contorted in pain. "Angel, do you want to get on top?"

"Fuck yes, please."

Still buried deep inside of me, Noah rolled our bodies so now I was straddling him and almost immediately, the pain subsided; it was still there but not as strong. My hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered his chest as I leaned down to lick my way across the snake and apple on his neck. The noise he made, and his moans were so soft as my hot tongue went up and down his neck, I grazed over his Adam's apple with my teeth and bit down. Noah shook underneath me as he wrapped an arm around my back to hold me closer, burying his thick, aching cock, deeper inside of me.

We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. I gave him a show. This is heaven in hiding.

"Angel," he begged as my teeth worked on leaving a mark against the hand on his neck. "I need-."

"What do you need?" I ground my hips against his pelvis and the sensation sent sparks to my clit and I clenched around him.

"Fuck," he cursed. "Don't stop what you're doing. It feels so good."

"Oh," I bit down on a new patch of skin on his throat. "This?"

"Yes," he dragged out the S for a few seconds.

My hands went to run through his hair but I almost forgot in our haste that I braided it a few minutes before this.

"Angel," Noah's voice was raw. "You have no idea how much I've wanted you."

I sat up slowly to stare down at him in awe as his words made me feel unspeakable things.

In one quick action, his hand snaked behind my head to pull my lips back down to him to kiss me feverishly.

"Noah," I tugged on his braids.

"Shit, give me a minute. I can take them out."

I didn't stop moving my hips against him. "Noah. I-."

"Just second, angel."

His hands left their vice grip on my hips to take out his hair but I quickly slapped his hands while sinking deeper on his cock. "Leave them."

The same sensation of a cresting orgasm filled every inch of me, ecstasy shooting through my veins like a drug, and when Noah's thumb pressed fast circles against my clit, I leaned my head up towards the ceiling, lips parting as my hands wrapped around his braids, pulling with such force he choked on my name. I rode Noah faster, needing that last little bit of friction to tip me over the edge and when I finally let the bliss plow through me in droves, I held my breath.

"Angel," Noah cupped my cheek so I could look down at him. "Breathe through it with me."

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

NOAH

I pressed light kisses all along Y/N's shoulder blades, in shock and almost slight jealousy as I took in every inch of the large tattoo that covered her back. It was of a large snake that wrapped along every groove of her spine with an array of different Japanese flowers.

Afterward, I let her fall onto the mattress with a happy sigh, immediately grasping the pillow closer to her chest and that's when I noticed the tattoo.

"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," I mused while running a finger over the ink.

"It's taken like two years to complete. It's my second favorite after the one on my leg of the Gods," she rested her chin on her palm. "You know what I just realized? We have similar tattoo themes; copy cat."

Her finger grazed over the snake and apple along my neck.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "All you need is an apple right here."

I smacked right above her ass and she shrieked while falling into the pillow once again, a long but content sigh falling from her lips. I kissed from between her shoulder blades down her back, my nails grazing beyond the wake of my lips.

"Are you okay?" I wondered while gently squeezing her hips.

“Yeah, I think so. I feel content, just basking in it. You?”

I nodded and kissed the side of her head as I lay next to her. "I feel great."

"Do you know what you want in 10 years?" Y/N blurted out.

“That’s a random question” I chuckled while kissing her lips.

She sighed and looked up at me through her lashes. “I know but think about it, like really think about it?”

I thought deeply about her question, fingers still grazing her spine. “Alright I’ll bite, I don’t know, I’ve always been trying to make it with whatever bullshit has been going on in my fucking life- just wanting to mean something to somebody, make music- for anybody out there to listen. To be the fucking king you know?”

She laughs. "And?"

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Y/N's body went rigid with my words.

"But right now, no dog, no family just…just Bad Omens," I finished with a hopeful breath.

She hummed in response but turned her head to face the wall opposite of us, something bothering her. Not wanting to push it, I left another kiss on her spine before I slipped out of bed to discard of the condom in the bathroom trash, a light red color catching my attention.

Once back in the room, I slipped back underneath the covers.

"Angel?"

Another hum vibrated from her throat, sleep weighing heavy on her shoulders.

"Did you get your period?"

I swore I saw all the breath leave her body with my question and my mind panicked, thinking she was embarrassed.

"It's fine," I rubbed her back soothingly. "I just saw some blood on the condom, that's all."

When she still said nothing, I nudged her face with my nose. "Are you alright?"

"Yep," she said quietly.

"Stay till morning?" I asked, hopefully.

Finally, she turned to face me and left a kiss on my nose. "I have to go."

My heart fell into the dark pits of my stomach as I watched her slip out from underneath the sheet to gather her clothes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Noah." She slipped back into her clothes rather quickly. "I just have an early flight to catch and I know you have one too."

I shook my head and stood to my feet while slipping my briefs and joggers back on. "I don't buy that. We were great, where did you go just now?"

She doesn't want to leave, I can see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.

"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.

"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.

"Then why won't you stay?"

The fear of her slipping between my fingers was debilitating.

"Noah, you know I can’t; we can’t," Y/N stumbled over her words.

I stretched my arms out wide at my sides. "Why? Why can’t you?"

With her gaze still cast down to her feet, she shook her head. "You don’t want me Noah, trust me, you don’t want any part of this."

"Bullshit," I spat as my anger got the best of me.

Y/N's head snapped up towards me, finally looking me in my eyes and all I saw in hers were the wetness of tears. "I have this condition that already makes my life harder every fucking month. I don't need to bring you into it and ruin our future, alright?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds. "Condition? What the fuck, are you dying or something? I don't know what the hell this means."

"No," she rushed out. "I'm not dying. I-I don't want to get into this right now. All I know is that I would need you a lot more than you'd need me. And you deserve better than me, anyway."

"Don't-" I started while pointing a finger at her.

She ran a distressed hand through her hair. "You know it’s true Noah, please. This is hard enough as it is. Walking out right now."

The bed stood between us and I hated feeling so far from her even though we were still in the same room so I walked around it, standing a few inches in front of her now.

"I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life too, Y/N. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and can’t handle. Don’t sit there and tell me what I want or don’t want. You’re just so afraid of us," I pointed between us.

She grasped her elbows to hug herself and I could see the way her mind was running, gears turning hastily. Y/N was shutting down in front of me and I fucking hated it.

"Don’t fucking do that. I’m not him," I assured her with a gentler tone.

All of this was a trauma response, something so embedded deep into her brain that it was the only way she knew how to act. I know she felt the same way that I did; it was clear with what happened not even an hour ago. If she didn't feel the way I did, she wouldn't have shown up tonight. Y/N wants to stay, I can see it in the way her eyes keep darting to the bed but the pain and trauma were too deep.

"I’m sorry angel, I just- you’re wrong. I know how I feel about you, and I know what you feel about me."

I went to reach for her hands but she took a step back, a few tears falling to the ground below.

"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."

Not that fucking line.

"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"

Her bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its wait through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."

"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you."

"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.

I paced the room, hands shaking in anger. Defeat? I wasn't sure.

"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.

"I'm going to head out."

Y/N nodded towards the door after gathering her things and stepped past me to leave.

The fear of losing her completely is what made me give in to her wishes. As much as I wanted to fight her choice, I needed her as a friend more than something more. I'll take what I can get for right now until she realizes she feels the same; I know she does.

As she opened the door, my feet closed the distance between us in two large steps and I grasped her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears burned with the need to fall but she held fast and strong, refusing to show me how badly walking away was affecting her.

I brushed my lips across hers in a soft kiss. "I can wait for you."

She tried to disagree but my grip was too strong. "Noah- I can’t ask you to do that. That’s not fair. You deserve-"

“Don’t tell me what you think I deserve." I let out a shaky breath. "Look, heaven knows I’m not getting over you, I can wait”

“Besides. I’m known for having a lot of fuckin patience. I will wait." I finished with a shrug.

If I wasn't already staring intently at her, I almost would have missed the small nod she gave me; but I didn't. I saw it.

“Goodnight Noah.”

With one final kiss, not enough to remember the way she tastes, Y/N let the door shut behind her as I burned my hateful gaze through it. She left? How the fuck could she just leave after the night we had together?

No, fuck that.

I barreled through the door in time to notice she was only two doors down, frozen in her spot.

"Angel," I called after her.

Slowly, she turned, and I sucked in a breath when I saw the redness in her eyes, puffy with teh tears she let out as soon as the door closed. Mine mirrored hers.

"Please," I begged. "Just come back to me. I'll wait for you."

Y/N hesitated but within that hesitation, something stood out clear as day; she took a small step towards me until that doubt filled the back of her mind yet again. I stayed in the hallway watching as she turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and life; my words not being enough to make her stay.

Back inside the room, I let the door slam shut and made a beeline toward the minibar. I screwed off the cap of the Hennessy, downing half of it in one go.

"Bitter ends to the night. I'm along for the ride," I raised the bottle in the air before taking another long, slow gulp with my eyes screwed shut.

Suddenly, they snapped open, and I rummaged around the mess of my room for my phone, quickly typing out a text to Jolly.

I need to write a song, now.

Only a few minutes passed before he responded, just enough time for me to pop open another bottle.

Now? It's three in the morning and we have nothing here.

Doesn't fucking matter. I'll figure it out. Come to my room.

Letting the bottle slip from my fingers, I stalked over to the wall and slid down until my ass hit the floor with a thud; the image of Y/N crying and walking away burned into my brain. I was out of breath, out of time trying to stop her but, in the end, everything has a price. And I was paying for it. 

[lovesickry]

- the devil is in the details.

┈⋆⭒ daniel ricciardo x fem!reader [1.2k] ┈⋆⭒ part 1 !

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ find all parts here! .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ blurb: you knew him before he got famous, he got famous, you got a job. now years later, your job just so happens to be near him, but how will this fare on the way you left things years ago? .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ chapter contents: nothing, literally nothing .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ future warnings: will be smut. ( will probably be very filthy ). will be angsty, will be periods of niceness, maybe fluff but i’m a cold hearted bitch so. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ brief background: this is not a y/n story i’m sorry i cant do that. so its an original character her name is dylan tait, she was born in perth but lives in melbourne, okay mwah. this is based from the years 2018-2021, but there will be flashbacks, but i’ll try and make the timeline as easy as i can to follow. i’m not all knowing about formula one, yes i know things, but if i don’t know the real scientific names just shush. ty. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ a/n: his is a multi part fic and will probably be long LOL

present day: december 1st, 2017

you could feel your sweat slowly beading on your skin as you walked towards the mercedes building, holding the folder with all the things they said were required to secure the job. it was terrifying, absoultely nerve wracking, you’ve been to many job interviews in your life, but this one. this would be the worst, you were sure of it.

you were grateful as you opened the door and were hit with the freezing cold atmosphere of the waiting room, waiting to meet with the man who you had heavily engaged with over email, but never face to face. you sat there for an appropriate amount of town, recalling your rehearsed answers for the reasons you’d be good for the job etc, your experience, where you went to university, where you got your masters, your (acceptable) hobbies, how you work as a team, how you work individually. all the good stuff.

this calmed your nerves a bit and when the man opened the door and ushered you inside, shaking your hand introducing himself and gesturing to the folder of documents under your arm, you felt slightly more at ease than before.

the interview went as well as you could’ve hoped, he was impressed with your interest and experience in engineering at such a young age (27). you even managed to ease in your (slightly exaggerated almost) fluency in german, which he was loudly impressed with and responded “toto will love that”.

you left with a “thank you so much for this opportunity” and a “i’ll be in contact soon, thank you again”.

you couldn’t help smiling as you left, feeling proud of how you managed to not mess anything up initially. having a job in f1 being a dream of yours and working for mercedes. well shit. who wouldn’t dream of this. you’d applied for performance engineer, but wouldn’t be surprised if you got control engineer instead. the reminder that you were a woman in engineering applying for a widely male dominated area was a common unfriendly reminder, but that was honestly apart of the appeal.

“grace” you say

“GRACE grace grace grace”

“yes what i just woke up” she groaned

shit you forgot about time zones

“oh sorry, yeah, love you- anyway.”

you paused a bit

“I JUST HAD THE INTERVIEW AND IT WENT REALLY GOOD”

you heard some shuffling and then

“PMG SHIT YES I DIDNT. I FORGOT IT WAS TODAY, OMG FUCK YES YSS YES FUCKING MERCEDES FPRMULA ONE EMGINNER COMING THEOUGH HOLY SHIT”

“i know, i think i’m gonna scream when i get in my car”

“i don’t blame you”

“i just cant believe it, you know you have to fly over and visit me sometimes”

“hmmmm with what money dyl “

“i’ll literally pay for you once i’m a millionare, because you’ll still be my only friend”

“oh shut up”

“love you”

“i’m going back to sleep now, you’re amazing, have a drink or two for me, good whatever time it is there, you’re amazing”

“bye love you bye”

that was probably the cheesiest thing you’d done, admittedly, but what else does one do other than call their only friend on the other side of the world after a good interview.

——————————————————————————

3 days later:

there was still no response back about the job and honestly you were losing hope slightly. albeit finding ways to justify the belated response. because maybe, yes, you were being slightly impatient. but staying in london of all places by yourself, isn’t that much fun, you mainly just drank and took photos and than went back to your hotel, ( lamely ) reviewed blue prints of engines and aerodynamic rules or alternatively watched a documentary about the job you applied for. your days were blurry and you’d haven’t given much thought to the job you’d taken forcing the proximity of coming back into contact with your once good friend (complicated) daniel ricciardo until one night, after youd had your couple drinks and was on your walk home that his name “dannnnnniiieeellll🥸” illuminated your screen, the same contact name he set for himself approximately 7 years ago. you needed to change that, jesus. you didn’t really know what to do, but not answering at all was probably worse and you were drunk and hadn’t talked to anybody apart from grace and the interview man all week.

you pause your unsteady walk and swipe the screen and bring the phone to your ear, waiting for him to say something. but after he’s quiet for what felt like too many seconds you can’t help yourself.

“helllllloooooooooooooo”

“dan’el” the slur in your voice unmissable when you say his full name.

“hey” he says, flat and fast.

your swaying had been worse than you’d imagined when you’d brushed shoulders with someone, turning your head over your shoulder.

“oh, sorry”

“no problem love” tone thick with beer and blokeness.

the phone hanging at your leg brought back up to your ear to hear a small laugh, familiar and rhythmic and then.

“are you in london?” his first full sentence and the first multiple words he’s actually said to you in years.

“what how do you-“

“yes i’m in london” i give up

he hums in response,something you hated about him, the constant inability to shut up.

“why do you care” you say notebly less bitter than you mean.

“haven’t talked in a while”

“oh really”

you look at your messages, texts from you all left on delivered or read:

************ ************ ************ ************ *****

sun may 29. 2016

hey dan just wanted to reach out and say what happened in monaco was so unfair, i know your hurting you deserved that win. i’m here if you need.

july 1. 2016

happy birthday dan, getting so old

hey, tough day, wanna call?

sun. oct 2016

hey just finished watching, first malaysian win and against roseberg too, proud of you, !!!!

nov. 2016

i cant do this anymore, can you please talk to me?

i’m sick of this shit

dec. 2016

i miss you so fucking bad

(1) missed call from “dannnnnniiieeellll🥸”

feb. 2017

i’m gonna be in perth next month, can we please talk

(1) voicemail left

——————————————————————————

“yeah i know” he says, you can see him tugging his hair, frustrated, a small groan leaving his mouth

“okay im hanging up, i’ve tried talking to you, i don’t know what what you want” this isn’t fair for you.

“no- just- quickly- are you working at mercedes?”

you stop walking. what, how did he-

“uhhhh— no” you squeeze out, feigning as much honesty as you can.

“really?”

“hmmmmm” you pretend to ponder your answer

“goodbye daniel” it’s all you can muster up to say your self control nearly snapping everytime he speaks

“wait-“

you hang up, before he can squeeze another word in, before he can say anything that might bring back an inkling of what you felt for him, what you still feel for him. you can’t do it, not tonight.

(1) new voicemail from “dannnnnniiieeellll🥸”

god you need to change that name.

you’ll listen to it in the morning, not sure you’ll fully process it, in the state you are. you put your phone away, get to your hotel and go to sleep. thankfully.

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack! ✨essential information✨

⭐️❄️⭐️

FIRST off, in honor of the book and its movie release, TBOSAS on Crack is solely (just) created as a JOKE!Alternative Universe that focuses more on the 24 OG Mentors of the 10th Hunger Games. This includes the funny/romantic misunderstandings of Coriolanus Snow and Sejanus Plinth that gave everyone the impression that they were actually “secretly” dating, and are indeed boyfriends (until they honestly were).

In addition, this Crack!AU will tell you the compelling story of how a bunch of delinquents “accidentally” stopped the Hunger Games from continuing, just because of a certain Mentor’s ✨nepotism✨.

MORE or less, most of the characters in the book are the same when it comes to their personalities and backstories. Well, except for our Mentors. They’re a bunch of crackhead Capitol kids with too much fun and stress on their hands. They even almost made Dean Highbottom and Dr. Gaul quit their respective jobs.

ALSO, these young walking disasters are not “all there” in the head. Heck! Half of them went crazy years ago because of the infamous 2 year Capitol Siege by the rebels that almost starved them all to death. Just ask Coryo Snow and Persephone. But as for the other half, let’s just say that all they want to do is eat, drink, party, and ✨graduate✨.

Here is a quick character info: [Read Me]

Here are their visuals: [Read Me]

Here’s the Hunger Games Origin: [Read Me]

Here’s their playlist: [Read Me]

Here are their ✨Code Names✨: [Read Me]

And here’s Dean Highbottom’s take: [Read Me]

Here’s that Epic The Musical Post: [Read Me]

Here’s the fate of District 13: [Read Me]

PS: For sanity’s sake, no Mentor or Tribute will be dying in this Crack!AU. No one gets killed! Bombs will still explode inside the Capitol Arena, but our crazy kids will wear the thickest plot armor EVER, just because I’m their only sponsor!🤣

Read the Cracks here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78,

The cracks are not in chronological order, but someday they will. . .

MOREOVER, this Crack!AU includes the following:

The accidental birth of ✨Snowjanus✨!😘

Also known as Corjanus, SnowPlinth, CabbageBread, The Grandma’am golden ticket to a rich life, and Strabo’s not so secret plan to rule all of Panem through his only son’s marriage to Crassus Snow’s boy.

Coryo Snow malfunctioning for the hundredth time because of how forward and shamelessly romantic Sejanus Plinth is.

“Fine! I’ll marry into money! I’m sick of eating cabbages anyway!”

“Stop throwing bread to the dead, Sejanus Plinth! Throw it to the living!”

The Mentors (intentionally) delaying the Hunger Games from officially starting because of their nonstop shenanigans with their Tributes (much to Dr. Gaul and her Gamemaker’s frustration).🤣

The Tributes slowly accepting (and sometimes rejecting) the fact that their Mentors are just a bunch of “dramatic nepotistic crazy clowns” who refuse to learn basic social cues.

The 10th Hunger Games being officially postponed (over and over again) because of Felix Ravinstill’s ✨nepotism✨ working overtime.😌💅

In truth, the Gamemakers were “forced” to stop the countdown (over and over again) because half of the Mentors illegally barged into the control room without Dr. Gaul’s permission. Afterwards, Felix just used the excuse of “My granduncle is the President of Panem, I can do whatever I want” card to postpone the games.

Lucy Gray ignoring the personal space of her fellow annoyed Tributes (and everyone she meets), just because she’s “Covey” and quirky.

The poor underpaid Capitol Peacekeepers wanting a salary increase, vacation, and promotion because they have been dealing with the Mentors’ extra curricular criminal activities for far too long.

All the Mentors (excluding Livia and Arachne) being genuine ✨Besties✨ to each other since their grade school days.

Livia Cardew only calls her classmates either witches or idiots.

Festus Creed being the real ✨Dumpster Diving Capitol Rat King✨ and the best free cheesecake coupon hoarder of the century.

“Dumpster Diving for free food coupons is a common school activity, officer!”

The Academy? More like ✨The Academy of Arts✨💅.

Everyone wanting to secretly major in ✨Theatre & Drama✨.

Crazy but rich AF Sejanus Plinth and his unhealthy obsession of being Coryo Snow’s beloved boyfriend, fiancé, sugar daddy, baby daddy, and future husband.

Ma Plinth slowly becoming the food benefactor of the Mentors. #feedmeMa

Coriolanus Snow and Lucy Gray being the best of friends who love to sh*t talk about their boyfriends every time they meet.

Seriously, Coryo and Lucy Gray are just friends here. Everyone knows that crazy Sejanus Plinth will strangle anyone who tries to flirt with his gorgeous Snow Bae sugar baby fiancé.

Lucy Gray genuinely liking the Mentors for their chaotic ✨dramatic✨ personalities.

Sejanus Plinth shamelessly calling his darling Coryo “Babe, My love, Snow Angel, Snow Bae, Snowy, Snow Baby, Sweetheart” in front of everyone and their dogs.

The Mentors randomly coming up to Lucy Gray and asking her to sing banned songs from the early 2000s.

Strabo Plinth’s unhealthy obsession with the Snow family. Apparently, he and the ever gorgeous Crassus Snow were very close “friends” and the best “roommates” back in their military days. They were busy “stargazing” and playing with their rifles all night if you know what I mean.😏

The Grandma’am and Strabo Plinth being the true evil geniuses of the Capitol.😈

Strabo Plinth insisting Coryo to marry into his family and change their surnames to ✨The Great Plinth-Snow Dynasty✨, just because it sounds more powerful.

Coryo Snow accidentally convincing his beloved sugar daddy boyfriend (Crazy Sejanus Plinth) to become the future ✨President of Panem✨ (after Felix).

Tigris and The Grandma’am selling Coryo’s hand in marriage to the Plinth family. They genuinely believe that old man Strabo Plinth will lower the food prices if Sejanus marries Coryo for the sake of Panem.

Tigris Snow finally quitting her job (she got fired for being a weird cheese addict) and happy dancing for a whole week when she heard that her sweet little Coryo will marry into the Plinth family fortune.

Tigris, the Grandma’am, and Ma Plinth planning the ultimate ✨Snowjanus Royal Wedding of The Century✨.

The Grandma’am and evil Strabo Plinth scheming together to rule Panem and its people through ✨The Great SnowPlinth Union✨.

Ma Plinth wanting at least 5 beautiful grandchildren out of The Great SnowPlinth Union, while Strabo and the Grandma’am demanded 2 dozen (and more). #24&More

Lysistrata Vickers being the founder and President of the Capitol’s SnowPlinth/Snowjanus Official Fan Club.

Lucy Gray supporting and promising Coryo Snow that she and her Covey will sing the best banned love songs at his wedding.

Reaper Ash being labeled as the “weird one” by his fellow crazy Tributes.

Treech and Vipsania Sickle being the best gym bros for some unknown reason.

Marcus trying (and failing) to ignore the annoying existence of Sejanus Plinth.

Lysistrata Vickers having dibs as Coryo’s official ✨Maid of Honor✨. Apparently, poor cheese addict Tigris Snow was tragically outvoted by the very influential and powerful SnowPlinth/Snowjanus Fan Club members out of jealousy.🥲

Festus Creed and Tigris Snow fighting for the position of ✨Best Man✨ through an epic ✨Dance-off Battle✨💃🕺.

Apollo Ring being forced to be Coryo’s ring bearer because of his surname. Honestly, Gaius Breen and Androcles Anderson just peer pressured him for fun.

Livia Cardew planning to crash Coryo’s wedding for the expensive wine.

The Mentors and Tributes avoiding the “Arena Bomb Explosion Incident” because of Palmyra Monty’s dangerous existence.

Androcles Anderson being a proud professional kleptomaniac.

Lucky Flickerman wanting to quit his job. Apparently, the self proclaimed magic man was extremely unprepared to face and deal with the Mentors’ collective stupidity.😭

The Gamemakers forgetting to edit out Sejanus Plinth’s little arena stunt.

“Marcus was just sleeping, Sejanus! He’s still alive, you idiot Plinth! We freaking postponed the games!”

“For the last time! Don’t kiss Coriolanus Xanthos Snow on LIVE TV! There are freaking kids and dogs watching!”

Coryo and Sejanus shamelessly kissing, hugging, and being dramatic AF inside the Capitol Arena, while poor Marcus and the others are left sitting on the stands annoyed and confused AF.

Dean Casca Highbottom intentionally calling poor Coryo “Crassus Xanthos Snow” out of spite and out of regret (and because he’s still madly and deeply in love with the ever gorgeous Crassus Snow).

Drunk Highbottom living and swimming in denial since the infamous ✨#Crasca4Ever! University Breakup✨.😔

Coryo Snow successfully convincing a drunk Highbottom not to expel him by pretending to be Crassus Snow. He later regrets doing it.

Drunk!Casca not being able to correctly pronounce half all of his students’ names.

Festus Creed and Androcles Anderson receiving a lot of demerits and expulsion letters from the Dean. However, they still go to school and join their class discussions like nothing happened.

Casca Highbottom banning the Mentors from attending ✨The Academy’s Annual Students Teachers Meeting✨ (forever) because of the infamous Heavensbee Hall Flooding Incident.

Coryo Snow secretly trading his cabbages for banned music albums at the Capitol Black Market.

The banned song “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” accidentally playing on repeat inside the Capitol Arena because Felix Ravinstill forgot to detach his phone from Dr. Gaul’s master speaker.

“Snow On The Beach” stealing the top spot on the Capitol Billboard Hot 100 because of Coryo Snow and Lucy Gray’s final performance inside the Capitol Arena.

The Mentors trolling Lucky Flickerman and Lepidus Malmsey for the hundredth time.

Hilarius Heavensbee secretly collects movie records from the early 2000s. His favorite banned film is ✨Legally Blonde✨.

Io Jasper and Urban Canville being a bunch of shameless nerds who can’t properly communicate with each other.

Professor Sickle trying to convince Drunk!Casca Highbottom to give her a raise and promotion for tolerating the Mentors’ shenanigans and stupidity.

Crazy Palmyra Monty forever mentally and emotionally scarring her classmates (especially Florus Friend) with her homemade poisonous snacks.

Florus Friend fearing and avoiding Palmyra Monty’s accursed deadly bread rolls and expired sandwiches.

Felix Ravinstill being a genuine good friend and great Class President to everyone.

Dennis Fling asking poor sensitive Felix to beg for some illegal ✨Miracle Pills✨ from Lysistrata to cure Hy and Dill’s respiratory related illnesses.

Everyone knows that Persephone Price willingly ate that infamous “Maid Stew” that her father made for them to survive.

Festus Creed’s ✨PerseFest✨ agenda.

Dairy Heiress Domitia Whimsiwick fawning over Tanner’s skills and biceps.

Coral perfecting her somersault to impress the Capitol crowd and her idiot Mentor.

The Mentors pretending to be stupid whenever they attend Dr. Gaul’s class.

Dr. Gaul giving up on grooming poor Coryo Snow to become her successor because she realized that his brain doesn’t work properly whenever he’s with Sejanus.

Poor homeless Hilarius Heavensbee getting disowned and kicked out of the ✨Queen Bee Mansion✨ by his evil weirdo parents for being a loser nuisance towards his smarter and perfect younger brother.

Livia and Arachne convincing themselves that Casca Highbottom is actually Coryo Snow’s true sugar daddy.

Meanwhile, Florus Friend thinks Strabo Plinth is the real sugar daddy of poor Coryo Snow and homeless Hilarius Heavensbee.

Dr. Gaul openly wanting to strangle the Mentors for acting being stupid.

Urban Canville’s secret mission to strangle Lucky Flickerman and his annoying bird.

Felix Ravinstill being the favorite darling grandnephew son of President Gran Gran.

Festus winning the position of ✨Class Representative✨. Apparently, Creed only won because Sejanus “accidentally” locked Urban Canville inside a bathroom stall.

Persephone Price and Mizzen being the best pizza partners in crime. Somebody, these two idiots will rule all of Panem with their ruthless ✨Pizza Palace Empire✨.

Drunk!Coryo genuinely believes that Felix Ravinstill is the current President of Panem.

Drunk!Sejanus, Drunk!Coryo, Drunk!Festus, and Drunk!Lysistrata acting like shameless fools in front of their Tributes. The poor and underpaid Peacekeepers were not amused.

Festus Creed and Sejanus Plinth stripping on broad daylight because of the summer heat.

Reaper Ash praying for some normalcy and mental peace every day.

Jessup and Sheaf talking and singing with the Capitol’s “sacred” rabid raccoons and wild squirrels in order to stay sane.

Mizzen being a terrible little gremlin.

The Mentors trying to recreate The Hunger Games until ✨Panemvision✨ was born.

Livia’s own version of The Hungers Games is basically ✨Love Island✨ on crack and steroids.

Because of the awful “Love Island” idea, the rest of the Mentors had to write a serious 20 page essay on why the Hunger Games should be recreated/revamped into a true reality TV show with a “no killing, no gore, no cannibalism” policy.

The Mentors trying to convince the School Board Members, the Government Officials, and crazy President Ravinstill to change the 10th Hunger Games into a non-deadly talent show to increase viewership and sponsors.

Moreover, Coryo strongly defended the proposal by having Lucy Gray successfully sing in front of a live audience (again) on TV. Billy Taupe was the only one who got offended (again).

Meanwhile, the rest of the Mentors also convinced their Tributes to show off their talents that same day. That was Reaper’s 2nd worst day of the week.😂

Dean Highbottom only supported the proposal because it reminded him of his wild karaoke clubbing days with his drop dead gorgeous lover. You know who it was.😏 #Crasca4Ever #crassusmylove #SnowBottom

Clemensia Dovecote also backs their weird essays by simply stating that killing children will only make the Districts hate the Capitol more. However, if they provide “real entertainment” without the violence, then the Districts might warm up to them.

In addition, Sejanus proposed that the winner of the contest will be made a ✨STAR of PANEM✨! 🤩

And as the ✨Star of Panem✨, he/she will be given monetary support and a lifetime supply of cabbages and lima beans by the Capitol.

Meanwhile, the losers will only get 10 boxes of pizza, 2 gallons of orange soda, one body bag of sandwiches (made by Ma Plinth) as a reward for “willingly” participating.

Juno Phipps then added a “rule” stating that no Tribute shall be punished (or killed) because the losers must live and remember their humiliation on television for the rest of their lives.😈

Coryo and Clemmie also proposed that each Tribute must have a Prep Team and Stylist to make them presentable for Lucky Flickerman’s Late Night Show with Jubilee.

Finally, Felix Ravinstill and Dennis Fling closed their arguments by stating: “That being forced to sing and perform ON STAGE and on LIVE TV, which could be replayed over and over again, even after death, especially for Tributes who couldn’t save their own pride and dignity for all of Panem to remember, is the worst punishment one could freely give to one’s enemy. They won’t even be allowed to forget how they had wronged you.”

After hearing the Mentors’ closing argument, Dr. Gaul was ready to end it all and commit bloody murder in front of everyone.😡🔪

But after some deliberation, President Ravinstill (and his puppies) approved the Mentors’ proposal and changed the Hungers Games into the ✨HGASC✨ (Hunger Games: Annual Singing Contest).

However, the Grandma’am and Strabo Plinth insisted that they should just officially call it ✨PANEMVISION✨.

Meanwhile, Dr. Gaul tried to persuade President Ravinstill (again) to reconsider the Mentors’ stupid proposals.

However, she was outvoted by both the School Board Committee and the Capitol’s highest ranking government officials, just because everyone (but her) wanted to see what “true entertainment” really looks like on screen.

Livia Cardew even defended everyone’s ideas nonstop because, according to her, there was a lack of spicy entertainment in the Capitol. Damn the rules! This is the Capitol! We want ✨Love Island✨ type of dramas! Where are the ✨Real Housewives of Corso✨?! F*ck the Hunger Games! Give us the 90 Day Fiancé from the Districts!

And that’s how the Mentors “accidentally” ended the Hunger Games and gave birth to the most popular and craziest reality TV show in the weird history of Panem.

As for every Quarter Quell, let’s just say, it’s gonna be a true ✨SHOW STOPPER✨!

The first ✨HGASC/PANEMVISION✨ Quarter Quell will have the Mentors reap kids from both Capitol and District. Afterwards, one District Tribute will be paired with one Capitol Tribute to perform a special duet act (whether they like it or not).

[glutengoblin]

My Tears Ricochet (Sebastian Sallow X Reader)

A/N: I am drunk. Here's a Taylor-inspired fic. Enjoy :)

(P/S I may or may not be also working on something based on The Tortured Poets Department because I feel like that song is very Sebastian-coded hehe)

Warnings: Angsty Sebastian

Word Count: <1k

Sebastian stared at the ceiling of his room, taking a shaky breath. 3 am. Sleep had eluded him that night, just like all the ones before. The lack of it had begun to wear at his bones, the bags under his eyes ever prominent. He rolled onto his side, taking a deep inhale of the air around him, pressing his face into the forest green sheets.

Ominis was sleeping soundly across from him. He studied his face, trying to etch all of the details into his mind. Though Ominis had never exactly been his happiest friend, at this point, Sebastian couldn't remember the last time he had seen him smile.

Perhaps that was a lie, simply his sleepy brain sparing him of the information he could never forget when awake. It had been six hundred and forty-one days since it happened. The last time Sebastian had seen Ominis smile had been one day before.

Eventually, Sebastian's eyes moved on, tracing the light that danced on the ceiling. The water outside of his Slytherin dorm gave it an almost hypnotic quality. Sebastian started at it, trying to rid his mind of the thoughts that were beginning to sink in once again

Y/N. Her face, splattered in tears in the undercroft. Her voice. Blaming him for everything that had happened. He had gone too far this time, he had disappointed her, she didn't know how she could trust him any more. She wished he had stayed. She wished he had just stayed home.

Him, screaming back at her, tears streaming down his face. Anne had already left him. She would never forgive him. Hadn't that been enough? He was remorseful- the artifact had made him do it. He didn't know what had came over him. He did it because Solomon had fired back. He did it because he was scared. He did it because he wanted to protect her.

But, it didn't matter why he did it. She still stormed out, cursing his name as she left and slamming the door.

He stood there all alone, his head falling towards his chess. He had actually done it. He had lost everyone. Not in the way he once feared, but in a way almost worse. Worse than death, honestly. You also existed, just outside his periphery, like shadows dancing across his vision. A hero, flying around to save her grace. Anne, Solomon, Ominis… even you had left him. And he knew he deserved it. He loved her

Sebastian startled a bit as the clock hit 3:27 AM. It was then he decided sleep probably wouldn't reach him again. Standing up slowly, he put his slippers on and made his way out of the room. He had already caused Ominis enough pain in the past few years. The least he could do was try to be a considerate roommate, so he shut the door as gently as he could.

His feet guided him out of the common room and through the castle. The thought that he would soon have to leave its walls forever scared him. He no longer had a place to call home besides Hogwarts - Feldcroft was too far removed from his life. More so, he had begun to realize that he no longer had anyone to call home. All of the important people in his life had left.

Eventually his steps found him on the grounds, trying to take in the air that was showing the signs of spring. To his surprise, a figure stood out on the lawn, outlined by moonlight. There was a crisp chill in the air still. Enough to make any normal person stay inside.

But Sebastian knew she wasn't normal. He had known from the first day he had laid eyes on her - and he wasn't just thinking about your ancient magic. She had treated him with kindness when everyone else in the school thought he was off his rocker- including Ominis. She had indulged his reckless research, followed him to her potential demise, even let him cast an unforgivable on her. Perhaps the fact that Y/N hadn’t tossed him in Azkaban should have been a sign to him enough that she still cared for him in her own way. It should have been enough. He should have been thankful. But Sebastian had to admit, it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough to be so close to her, yet so far away.

He considered his options and took a cautious step forward. With graduation inching ever near, he figured this might be his last chance to say what he really wanted to her. He continued, until he stood next to her, their breaths matching in quiet synchrony. His gaze traveled up to the stars where her gaze was fixed. They stood in quiet compellation for a few moments before she broke the silence.

“ I’ve missed you.”

[otomes-world]

Infatuation

I don`t know why and for what reason, but I wanted to write something for Rook, so here we are. 27.“I didn’t ask you to do that” “You didn’t have to”

Studying in one of the most successful educational institutions definitely had its advantages. At least it gave more chances for a stable future. You were guided by this and a couple of other personal reasons, while submitting documents and subsequently preparing for admission here.

Night Raven College was famous for its centuries-old traditions. Moreover, it had a separate building for technomages. So why they did not bother to modernize the method of transporting students? You thought, rubbing your temples and holding back your dizziness. The body still remembered fear and surprise. It wasn't every day that a carriage hits you. It wasn't every day that you reacquaint yourself with the world leaving the coffin.

It wasn't every day you see a classic boring entrance ceremony interrupted by a sea of fire and a talking cat. Especially the talking cat.

Is it too late to pick up the documents and choose a quieter place?

No, you shook your head. You could drop out hundred more times, so you can at least try.

A few months later, you were ready to use the time machine to go back to the past, purely to choke yourself for these thoughts. Is it not exist? So, you had to invent it and then implement your plan.

Let be damned day when you decided to speak up and out of the goodness of your heart to help Yuu. You were a little pitiful for a newbie who was shoved into a crumbling building, bombarded with various assignments, and who just got hit in the head for being friends with Ace and Deuce.

You knew firsthand about the first years of Heartslabyul. Fortunately, one day you saw how they smashed an expensive candelabra. You just passed by and, seeing Trappola flying through the entire room, you immediately escaped from the scene of the incident. Getting under the director's hot hand was not on your list of plans.

Just as the attention of one annoying person did not fit into your future.

His sudden interest might have been flattering, but, alas, you were sensible in assessing your own strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, you could not logically and rationally find the reason for the appearance of Hunt in your student life. Listening to rumors and just looking at him, you doubted whether he was familiar with these concepts.

However, again, you couldn't call him crazy. He was eccentric, but far from being an idiot. At the right moments, his head worked as it should and more often than you would prefer.

One-sided verbal skirmishes - you won't call this dialogue - from a certain point became an integral part of passtime. It was even admirable.

More precisely, you admired how he won this "part". He was almost the very first to greet you every now and then. If he did not come to wish you a good day in person, then in some unknown way a note was always found in your bag, doing this for him. After weighing the pros and cons, you just gave him your phone number. You'd rather let him text you than scare the hell out of you by sending arrows. Real arrows.

"Bonne journée, the light of my eyes!" You stopped, silently cursing your own luck or lack of it. You glanced over your shoulder and went back to sorting the printouts. "All at work despite the early hour. I would be honored to share your burden-"

"I didn't ask you to do so", you interrupted him, mentally adding 'and I won't ever ask'.

However, this did not stop him, because in the next moment he was already standing next to you with unchanging, so annoying smile. Looking at how quickly he gets the job done - much faster and more accurate than you - you couldn't help but sigh.

From fatigue? Or envy?

You couldn't define exactly what you felt at that moment. It was just easier with Rook to give up and let him do whatever he liked. Of course, as long as he didn't cross the line. You were looking forward to him making a mistake, a reckless move, but they don't appoint just anyone as Pomefiore's vice-leader. He played on the nerves, but never allowed himself too much.

He was exactly like image you drew in your head: based on your own and other people's opinions. However, every day it became more and more difficult to deny the fact that the idea of him was slowly changing. As well as your attitude towards him.

That's why you allowed yourself to join the game, that he led so diligently. Not long, just a little bit. Moreover, the blonde, humming to himself and clearly enjoying your company, did not need to know about this.

[summerfevers]

if you’re up to it i would very much like to know your white collar neal timeline🎤🎤

this turned out to have many asides and be very long so the tl;dr is: peter have you considered that he's just a twenty-something teenage girl :( ?

timeline:

neal born 1984 ish. he's an aries and a millennial

neal, ellen, and neal's mom go into witsec 1987, neal age 3

2003 adler scandal i fucking guess. neal age 19

neal arrested probably mid 2005, 21

neal goes to jail for the first time, i want to say early 2006, age almost 22

pilot is set late summer 2009, age 25

same-sex marriage legalized in new york june 24th 2011, they talk about this in season 3 episode 14 which is soon after. neal's 27

more or less a year later–let's go with less–neal tells sam that he has spent the last decade running from the truth he learned at 18. taking him literally that it was 10 years ago he is now 28 it is the end of season 4 and 2012

the end of season 4 to the series finale is less than a year. he is 29 its 2013.

when we see him in paris he might be 30 but that doesn't count To Me

i present my evidence:

i don't know where we got "neal is 35" from i cant make it work. neal and co. went into witsec (which i have actually since learned is not available to people living in dc, they have their own version but it is not overseen by the federal marshalls, i don't think they can give you as many legal documents like a ssn, and they don't help you set up your new life as much? something about neal's life that would be interesting to explore.) when he was three and ellen says in season 4 that she's been in witsec for Nearly three decades. confirmed 33 or under in season 4

he also says to "sam" more than once that he's spent the last decade running from the truth he learned at 18–he very well could be rounding down here and mean like 12-13 years but i am Choosing to Believe he meant that literally. we are now at youngest 28, it is the last episode of season 4.

now due to the way the show is structured and the fact that it is never really winter. ok maybe winter 1 time because i can see in my mind neal in his little wool coat and earmuffs but largely it is summer and we never have a christmas episode. anyway due to All That our only real anchor in the timeline is that the episode where diana is Grappling with her engagement to Christie happens immediately following june 24th 2011, when same-sex marriage was legalized in new york. and also that later that season in the commutation hearing they say that neal has served 2 years of his sentence. so the pilot was set in 2009 when it aired we are at one year/season. but as the series goes on the episodes and even seasons have increasingly shorter gaps between them, and by season 6 we haven't even finished our four years. by the end of season 4 i want to say we are three years into his sentence and he's 28. between the end of season 4 and when neal dies in season 6 there has got to be less than a year that passes. actually deadass why was neal so obsessed with the pink panther case ending his sentence early we are like months out king. i get the injustice the system is broken they'd keep him forever but to people outside his circle he must have looked sooo silly for that. but whatever. he is 29 when he dies and 30 when we see him again in paris, his roaring 20s of crime and incarceration over.

Anyway where the "neal is 35 or at least claims to be much older than this timeline would say he is" probably came from in-universe is that the adler scandal takes place SEVEN years before s2 when peter confronts neal about it. 2003?????? guys the thing we have to understand, to embrace, about neal's personal timeline is that i do not think anyone in that writers room was really grasping how much they had neal do in so short a time. 2003 he is like 19 guys. maybe by the time peter says it was 7 years ago it was 2011 ? and the adler thing was 2004? but no that couldn't work because it's mid 2011 like a year later in s3. so basically neal walks out of st louis and has a magical girl transformation through which he immediately becomes a great conman and criminal. and he meets mozzie basically straight away. he should still be in like calculus and ap lit at this juncture. and then they go right into the adler con ??? and neal is obviously lying through his teeth to everyone saying he is at least 21 but probably more along the lines of 23. and while most of his aliases are eventually found out by peter if no one else, no one ever goes "wait IS HE a teenager?" no one is guessing this.

so we spend a couple months fucking around and fucking UP with adler, kate probably doesn't know how old we actually are, this relationship cannot actually last very long at all because we are truly on a time crunch right now. we have less than three years for neals entire criminal career before he goes to jail. i know i said on the bullet list he went to jail early 2006 he has got to have been arrested like summer 2005 at the latest to be tried and sentenced by then and i feel like even that might be tight because he was suspected of so many other things they wanted to get evidence for. but how is neal teaching kate to be a criminal less than a year into his own career. i think neal must have been a hardcore improv kid for this to work honestly. i bet he competed. so our golden days of mozzie neal and kate against the world lasts maybe a year at best before neal and kate fight and she leaves and he spends months trying to get her back and get her attention and commits a truly breathtaking amount of crimes in this time.

also i'm skipping through forging bonds right now trying to flesh out this timeline and it was incredibly shady of peter and co to see that kate is doing so much to stay hidden from her ex boyfriend and then to reveal her to neal in order to catch him. like that was fucked up they didn't know neal yet he hadn't been suspected of violent crimes but they didn't know why kate was working so hard to escape him. like it worked out ok (arguably, but that could be a different post) but they had no reason to trust neal not to hurt her like this. she could have been running from an abusive situation he's known to be a talented criminal with no fears about escalating his crimes he could have killed her. one thing about the fbi is that they never once care about kate's safety and it does indeed get her killed one day.

in conclusion neal is known as one of the best forgers in the world when he is arrested in 2005 at age 21 maybe 2 years into his criminal career. here i am 21 what have i accomplished

[naberrie2024]

Elysium

“Elysium”

The Naberrie lake house was an idyllic place to raise a family. A hidden gem surrounded by water and magnificent plants and trees, in a remote village of the beautiful Naboo. Obi-Wan Kenobi found himself in peace as it happened each time he went there. He felt home and he was blessed to know that the Naberrie family was safe, happy and…

PUM!!

“LEIA!!!”

A realm of chaos too.

“ANAKIN! Just stop teaching our daughter how to built a ship in her room for God’s sake!!!!”, screamed Padme Amidala Naberrie from the spot in the garden where she was painting calmly along Luke.

Obi-Wan smiled to himself. Even if they had changed names to not catch too much unwanted attention, it was pretty obvious that Luke and Leia Naberrie were Anakin’s children. Stong, chaotic, passionate, fascinating and.. a mess.

He walked to the spot where Padme was teaching Luke how to paint when both of them realised he was there. Luke knew first. He could feel the Force strongly and he always knew when Obi-Wan was close by.

“Uncle Ben”, said Luke happily as he ran to his open arms.

He caught the kid in his arms and hugged him. Then, he looked at his 5 years old face. He looked exactly as Anakin as a child. Fortunately, he seemed more quiet, more similar to her mother in that way. And it seemed, he also learnt a bit from himself. He was indeed his uncle and he visited them every week, sometimes, he even stayed for months.

“Master Kenobi”, said Padme with her serious voice. Then, she laughed and Obi-Wan looked at her in awe. She looked so much young than those terrible years of war and fights.

Sometimes Obi-Wan forgot how very young those two have been. Anakin was only 23 when he had to fight against Palpatine. His padawan, his little brother fought with all his strenght saving everyone that day. Anakin Skywalker was only 23 when he ended the sith and brought the light to the galaxy. And Padme Amidala was only 27 when she gave birth just after defending herself from some clones that tried to attack her. How she managed to do that while in pain, only God knows.

The thing was that Anakin grow old quickly after that day. He looked ten year older than his wife. He lost a lot of life energy saving the galaxy from the sith, indeed he almost died. He still remembers Master Yoda bringing Anaking to life in his own trembling arms. He had been in shock, unable to help his brother after seeing him kill Palpatine, he had thought his padawan, his dear brother was dead. But he wasn’t.

God, he was blessed that day and everyday afterwards.

“Milady”, Obi-Wan bowed at her.

She hugged him as she continued laughing.

Luke didn’t let go of his arms.

Nor that he was thinking of letting go of him anytime soon.

He adored Luke so much.

Padme sat again on the soft grass, caressing her long hair and staring at the lake.

“How long are you gonna stay?”, she asked as she continued painting, “Luke, aren’t you going to show uncle Ben what you painted for him, my darling?

“You painted something for me?”, he asked to Luke.

“Of course I did”, he answered just as Anakin used to do.

Padme laughed again and he put the boy in her arms. He kneeled in front of Luke’s painting.

It was his lightsaber and Anakin’s , side by side.

He smiled.

“You’re so good, my boy”, he smiled to Luke, “ You paint so much better than your father used to when he was a child, you know?”

“Its’ for you, Ben”, said Luke, a bit sleepy.

Padme caressed Luke’s hair until the little child fell asleep.

“He’s in Leia’s room”, she said smiling

He bowed at her one last time

“Oh come’on, go to him, you know you’re dying to see him and so is he”, she smiled sweetly at him.

……………………………

Anakin Skywalker, or Anakin Naberrie these days, have lost more than a few years of youth fighting against Palpatine. He lost the feeling of both his legs, so his young brother had to live in a weelchair for the rest of his days. It seemed it didn’t make him angry, just a bit nostalgic about his time as a warrior and pilot.

Obi-Wan regreted it everyday. If he could exchange their places, he would. He would give his last breath so Anakin could breath a second longer. He would give him his legs and his whole body if he ever needed one.

“Anakin”, he said knocking slightly at Leia’s door.

Leia and Anakin were… doing some sort of dance with their arms. Rap or something like that.

“Ts… Ts.. You are the star and I’m just a peasant.. Ts.. ts..”, sang Anakin as Leia danced along his father, both of them sitting on the floor.

“It seems to me you’re unable to build your daughter’s new bed, aren’t you?”, he teased his student.

Anakin looked at him, smiling funny with shiny blue eyes. “Ocean eyes” had once said Padme, the same eyes Luke and Leia inherited.

“Master”

“Padawan”

They both looked at each other. Then, they bursted into laughing. He went to Anakin and hugged him tightly, he kissed his head and he caressed the golden, a bit grey, long hair of his brother.

“How are you doing? Want some help?”, he asked as he sat beside him.

Leia ran to his arms then, hugging him and whispering how much they have missed him.

“You think you can do a child bed with.. the shape of a royal ship, old man?”, asked Anakin as he looked confused at some instructions.

“I think you’re looking at them.. upside down, daddy”

Obi-Wan laughed hard and Leia smiled at them.

Anakin sighed, laying down with his eyes closed.

“Who do you think build your bed when you were a child, brother?”, he asked Anakin as he took some pieces of the bed and started to glue some of them.

“I had a bed with ship form as a child?”, asked Anakin.

Sometimes he reminded him of a puppy. Innocent, naive and childish. And he loves him so much. More than anything else in the galaxy, along with his children.

“Of course you did. Your whole room was like a ship. Your ceiling full of stars and distant planets. The room of a true pilot. I built it of course. I wasn’t gonna ask Mace or Yoda. They would say it’s attachment. Not that they think that way anymore”, he said smiling at Anakin and Leia who stared at him as they usually did when he started to tell a story, “It amazes me, though, that the best pilot in the entire galaxy can’t build a bed”

“It’s not so easy, master!”, said Anakin as Leia decided to sit on his chest.

Obi-Wan looked at them. Leia looked exactly as Padme although her character was… in the middle. Also, she inherited from her mother….

“I’m gonna continue doing my budget for the extraordinary session for my planet”, said the little girl as she got up.

Anakin and him stared at each other in shock.

“Your what?”, asked Anakin

“My budget for my planet. Daddy, don’t you know what a budget is?? Its..”

“Don’t look at me like that Obi, the one obsessed with politics is her mother, not me”, said Anakin as he shook his head, “Not only one politician in my house, but two. My luck”

“It could be worse”, he said as he saw Leia writing down her “speech” as she vocalised each word carefully. She saw them looking at ther, so she got up and went to other room, chanting her speech.

“Amazing”, said Obiwan as he looked still at where she had been just a moment ago

“You enjoy that my children and wife torture me, Obiwan. You’re enjoying it too much”

“Do I need to remind you that I raised you?”, he asked laughing at Anakin, “ Once, you literally, blew a ship when you were 10. I was so scared you had hurt yourself that it took me several minutes to realise you were standing there like a king, smiling because you haven blown a royal ship. Which cost me..”

“I know, I know..”

“And there was another time you…”

“I get it, Obi-Wan, I get it”, said Anakin as he crawled to lay next to Obi-wan, the young man put his head on his lap as he used to do as a child and teenager, “I missed it. I miss flying”

“I know, dear heart”, he said as he looked at his brother’s face. “But what if I told you… I changed a few things in my ship so you can pilot it safely?”

Anakin almost jumped at that.

“You didn’t!!!!!”, shouted Anakin as his eyes shone with happiness.

“I did”, he repeated as he continued building Leia’s new bed.

“PADS!!!!! KIDSSSSS”!!!!! LOOK AT WHAT OBI DID!!!!”

Obi-wan laughed as the whole family reunited in the room, yelling with happiness as he told them how he changed his ship so it could be anakin’s ship.

After a while, Padme went away to help her maids to make dinner. While Anakin and Obi-Wan continued building Leia’s bed.

Obviously, both ended up falling asleep.

When Padme went to look for them, she didn’t have the heart to wake them up, so she took a picture of both of them sleeping, smiling.

Master and padawan

Brothers.

Family

[monpalace]

SOMMMEEEE QUESTIONS FOR YA :D (Some about your oc and some indulgent ones for myself <3)

What exactly is S'avahili's curse? A.) Why did Hyila/Zelda curse her? B.) Is its the curses fault for her change in looks? and if so why does it change her appearance? C.) Can she remove the curse?

Why does the curse change her so much when it worsens with frost bite?

Is she rabbit folk? a gerudo? A mix of the two? A.) is she constantly reborn into the similar form or does it change? B.) How is she being reborn? The curse? other reasons?

Now foe some indulgent questions

opinion on grim? A.) hate her? love her? wanna shake her around to figure out whats wrong with her? B.) Do you think she should become her own person? Or stay as a puppet?

The Voice!! Other than physicals appearences, did anything else draw you to them? A.) How bad do you see The Voice? If there was a meter from like 1-10

My baby Iolnye! Shes a cutie A.) Thoughts on the lady? Is she what you expected for Grim's love interest? B.) If you had to guess, how old do you think she is?

Do you have any like...theories or thoughts on Grim's lore?

this is the worst mistake of your life 😁 /j

i am entering my cringe mary-sue + rambling era

(s'avahili questions utc because i loredumped a lot,, its all been in my brain for 3 consecutive years)

1.) I literally love Grim and her entire premise, story, character, etc, etc. It's all super cool and I wish I thought of it first (/j)

A.) I want to sit her down on one of those therapy chairs and just.. pick apart her brain like I'm doing surgery

B.) For the romance plot: yes, but horrifically traumatized as she learns what it means to be human and actual emotion because The Voice ruined that for her (before inevitably turning back into a statue because, assumedly, The Voice is no longer with her). Because I love tragedy: no.

2.) I mean this positively, but The Voice really reminds me of the fucked up angel from The Mandela Catalogue or Rher and Per'kele from Fear and Hunger and I am a sucker for divine characters using fear/terror/other means for their own, twisted purposes

A.) If you were to put me and The Voice in a room, they are walking out in a straitjacket with multiple nurses on each side (:

3.) Human-animal people >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A.) I absolutely love Lolnye, but I really did not expect her AT ALL as Grim's love interest

I originally expected someone from within The Voice's cult because of similarities in circumstance, but I can just as easily rock with someone outside of it with a completely different filed of view

B.) I personally think Grim is around 26-27, so that in turn makes me think Lolnye is around 23-25? Based on her gifted kid status, it kind of makes me think Lolnye would be younger

4.) Since I haven't been in the room where it happens, I don't have a lot of theories or thoughts surrounding Grim, but I am really curious about where you're going with her character and what her views on different things the world both with and without The Voices shades on

1.) To preface, there are 4 goddesses in the venomverse, Nayru, Farore, Din, and Nabooru. Nabooru merged with a demon as a marriage (of flesh) and became Demise. Below them are deities; Hylia-- Zelda, Aram-- Fierce Deity/Link, and Ifetu-- S'avahili. There are more but they're the only ones worth mentioning.

Because of S'avahili's (then Ifetu, when she was originally cursed) connection to anything heat related (the sun goddess, Din, and flaming, burning, hatred incarnate itself, Demise, who formed the Gerudo Deserts and Death Mountain), Zelda (then Hylia) thought to curse her by making her perpetually cold.

Aside from making it near impossible for her to feel warmth (she can feel it, but doesn't do anything for her body temperature) it: flares up when in specific areas (anywhere near saltwater/the ocean or Rito Mountains) giving her chronic pains in her joints, the chills almost entirely freeze her vocal chords, gives her chronic fatigue from the pain and constant amounts of magical energy it takes to keep her from completely freezing over (which can possibly cause worsening degrees of frostbite if not in "safe areas," which can lead to amputation), and make her vulnerable to the Master Sword and light magic.

A.) Hylia originally cursed Ifetu because Nayru and Farore created her as a means to end (or repeatedly defeat) Demise.

(I swear this is all relevant.)

Long story short; Hylia's sleeper agent mind wakes up upon finding out Aram and Ifetu were in a situationship, Sleeper agent! Hylia takes it as Ifetu trying to further "corrupt" Aram and become a marriage of flesh like Demise, Hylia curses Ifetu, and throughout their non-deity reincarnations Zelda just never got rid of it because they both still "hate" each other.

Short story with more information; Hylia and Aram were created by Nayru and Farore while Ifetu and Ganondorf (I don't know his pre-reincarnation name yet 😁) were created by Din and Demise, all four at the height of the gods' war. Hylia and Ifetu were married for a few thousand years prior to the betrayal (Zelda still keeps and wears Ifetu/S'avahili's proposal gifts. The war had entered more of a Cold War state by the time they got together), Aram is officially introduced to Ifetu and they hit it off, Aram awkwardly courts Ifetu (unaware of their relationship, she was not aware he was trying to court her), then sleeper agent Hylia wakes up.

B.) When I first made S'avahili (2015), I had an obsession with making characters that had white hair and characters that were villains' little sisters.

Originally, she only had white hair because I gave Yasehiro (now Yusef) Gerudo-red hair as the prince of Hyrule (Zelda's older brother).

They were supposed to be inverses and then I realized I hated that concept but still wanted her (both of them but this ain't about him) to have a unique appearance that set her apart from other Gerudo.

All that to say: now the answer is yes, her difference in appearance is because of the curse.

In one of the act introductions, it says "The Gerudo had (..) hair made of the same sun she (Din) ruled over," so I figured if the rest of her race would represent the sun and fire in a positive/healthy light, S'avahili would represent the moon and ice in a negative one.

C.) It is possible for S'avahili to remove the curse, but it requires Link.

When S'avahili's presented itself as cuffs around her neck, elbows, and wrists (images below) rather than mainly invisible until prompted, Link needed to carefully cut them off of her in order for the curse to be removed in that lifetime.

Hylia's thoughts regarding the cuffs were "if you trust him so much, you'll have no issue with him putting the Master Sword so close to something so vital."

After deciding to retcon the cuffs, the way to remove the curse instead changed to S'avahili forgetting how to do so once reincarnated and being forced to have someone who does (Koume, Kotake, Ganondorf, and Yusef) to help her and Link do the correct "ritual" to remove it.

Now S'avahili, Link, and whoever remembers has to travel to a specific oasis deep within the deserts, do a prayer, basically drown themselves, and then wake up a few days later with the curse removed.

The only catch is that due to the deserts' two suns (one exclusive to that area), it makes it almost impossible for any race outside the Gerudo and Goron to enter.

They get around that by going at night.

After the curse is removed, it is possible for Link to traverse the deserts without harm (essential for going through the Sand Temple-- Ifetu and Aram's old, abandoned temple) and makes it possible for S'avahili to touch the Master Sword without harm.

The fatigue stays around until her death, unfortunately.

2.) Hylia still had enough common sense so as to not straight up ruin Ifetu's life when she cursed her, which is why she instead made it a progression/timeline.

The beginning is just fatigue, the early stages (upon leaving her "safe zones") are pains in her joints, the middle shows up as frostnip and superficial frostbite, and late stage is deep frostbite or amputation.

Ifetu learned how to avoid worsening the stages of the curse before she died and reborn, allowing the knowledge to be passed into S'avahili.

The only case that has led to amputation (so far) is in Wind Waker, but even that's in specific scenarios.

3.) S'avahili and Ganondorf only have animal traits (a rabbit and boar, respectively) because those were the traits they expressed/representative animals from when they were deities, but they are entirely Gerudo.

(Also because I like drawing characters with animal traits.)

Their ears, tails, (Ganondorf's) horns, and (occasionally) feet serve as a reminder to those outside of the Gerudo (and Goron) that they are Din and Demise's deity children reborn.

(Also because they like them.)

On a related note, their situation are similar to that of the Twili who took their wolfish features from Aram and just never evolved out of them.

A.) The only thing about S'avahili that doesn't change is the fact she's Gerudo, her white hair, and her rabbit features.

It's similar to how Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf reincarnate every life with different looks, but always have key features.

(She can turn into a rabbit though. That's fun.)

B.) Ifetu only died because her brother (deity ganondorf) had been killed, Demise had been sealed away, the other three goddesses had sealed themselves within their elements, she still had horrible feelings towards Hylia, Aram was basically dead, and the rest of the world was beginning to move into a new era which made her figure there really wasn't a use for her anymore.

Ifetu and Aram were only reborn as S'avahili and Link because Aram swore that they'd meet again, he'd never leave her, he'd always protect her, he'd always love her, and other devoted couple nonsense before she put him in his coma and sealed him in the mask.

Upon realizing he had essentially cursed her (because he had not, in fact, devote himself in most of those lifetimes) and because she had abandonment issues, she got the rest of her deity friends to take a vow of reincarnation so she wouldn't have to be alone while she waited to meet Aram again.

(They do not.)

So to answer the question, it's all Aram's fault and he couldn't even make it worthwhile.

(Ganondorf and S'avahili come as a packaged biological big brother-little sister deal because Din and Demise literally made them each others' support.)

[vbecker10]

Shadows of the Past

Part 27 (Part 26)

_______________________________________

(LOKI POV)

You open the door to Y/N’s room and step out of the way so she can come inside.  She walks in slowly, using her crutches and heads for her room.  You close the door and ask if she needs anything.

“Can you get me some water?” she asks.

“Coming right up,” you answer and head for the fridge.  You hear her close the door to her room, she had wanted to take the brace off for a bit and put on something more comfortable.  

At the infirmary, they fitted her for a brace and she traded the wheelchair for a set of crutches.  She seemed so tired from everything that had happened today but glad to be rid of the wheelchair.  You had offered to help her anyway you could and you were relieved when she actually took you up on it.  You had been worried she would try to do too much too quickly and possibly hurt herself.  

She comes out of her room wearing the sleeping pants you had conjured for her & a t-shirt.  You wait for her to sit on the couch first and then you help her swing her leg onto it.  Sitting in the middle of the couch, you carefully lifting her leg onto your lap.  She winces a little when you place a pillow under her knee.  “Are you ok?” you ask, worried you hurt her.

She nods, “I’m fine, just sore.”  She leans towards the coffee table for the remote but can’t quite reach it.  You smile at her then wave your hand and slide the remote towards her. “Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t useful, Mischief,” she giggles.

You can’t help but laugh a little, “I’m glad to hear all my years of training with magic have finally paid off.”

She turns on the TV and finds your favorite show.  You watch Y/N out of the corner of you eye and you occasionally catch her closing her eyes as if she is in pain.  “Are you sure you’re ok? Do you need any ice?” you ask her.

“I could probably use some but I don’t have any. I’ve been spending more time in your room than mine so I never filled the fridge or anything,” she answers with a shrug.

"I can go to my room and get some, it’ll just take a minute” you offer.  

“No, its ok,” she says, “We can make some later.”

“Are you sure?  If it hurts, you should ice it,” you tell her.

“I know, I just- I don’t want you to leave right now,” she says.  

“Y/N...” you start.

“I know, it’s stupid but... after everything that’s happened the last few days, I just feel better when your here,” she fidgets with her fingers while she talks.

“Y/N, its not stupid.  And I’m not going anywhere,” you reassure her.

She nods and smiles a bit but then she winces again.  You look down at your hand and then back at Y/N.  “I can help with your knee,” you suggest.

She looks at you questioningly, “How?”

You look back at your hand and take a deep breath as it slowly turns blue, starting at your finger tips and moving up until it reaches your wrist.  Thin lines begin to form on your skin, traveling up your hand and you can feel your heart beating faster.  You keep your eyes fixed on your hand, too nervous to see Y/N’s reaction.  

“Is that - that’s because your an ice giant?” she asks.

“Frost giant,” you say quietly and nod.

“Frost giant,” she corrects herself.

You sit quietly for a second and then slowly look at her and realize she’s smiling at you.   You sigh, letting go of the breath you had been holding.  

“Loki, did you think that would matter?” she asks in such a way that you almost feel silly for being worried.  

“I- I still haven’t fully accepted what I am so... so I just assume that no one else would either,” you tell her.  “My whole life I was taught frost giants were monsters and we needed to fear and hate them.  You thought I was a monster-” you start but she interrupts you.

“Loki, look at me,” she says.  “I was wrong when I thought that, you know that.  I was angry and I blamed you for things that weren’t your fault.  I want you to listen to me ok,” she reaches towards you and takes your blue hand in hers, rubbing her thumb up and down the ridges on the back of your hand.  

“I don’t care what you or anyone else says, you are not a monster,” she brings your hand to her lips and kisses the back of it.    

You smile at her, you can’t believe you found someone like her.  How she just accepted you so quickly and completely.  How was that even possible when you hadn’t even accepted yourself, you think.  

“Is it just your hand? Or does the rest of you turn blue too?” she asks curiously.

You laugh a little, “The rest of me turns blue too.”

“Can I see it?” she asks with a smile.

How could you say no to her.  You nod and close your eyes.  Slowly you let go of the illusion and your skin turns blue, the ridges start to form over your skin.  You can hear her gasp softly and you open your eyes.

She looks at you wide-eyed, “You’re- wow.” Is all she finally manages to say.

“Good wow or bad wow?” you ask cautiously.

She smiles and giggles a little, “Definitely good wow.”  You have no idea how to respond to that, it was not the reaction you were expecting.  You touches your cheek so you are looking right at her, “Your eyes are beautiful.”

You can’t help but smile, you had never been more comfortable in your own skin then you did at this moment.  You shift on the couch so you are laying on top of her, careful not to put any pressure on her leg and you kiss her softly.  She kisses you back, running her hand through your hair then holding the back of your neck.  You kiss her harder and she bites your lip then licks it softly.  When you finally pull away to catch your breath, she’s smiling up at you.  “You are amazing, you know that right?  I’m so lucky you’re mine,” you tell her as you kiss her nose and forehead before sitting back up.  

She giggles a bit, “Mmhmm, I know.  But it’s ok if you want to tell me all the time.”

“Noted,” you laugh as you start to put the illusion back up.

She puts her hand on your forearm, “You don’t have to do that.”

You think for a second, even when you are alone you never just spend time in your Jotun form.  You had never comfortable unless you were hidden behind your illusion.  

“Mischief?” she says to get your attention.  

You smile at her and keep the illusion down.  You make your hand a bit colder and place it gently on her knee, making sure you aren’t putting too much pressure on it.  You two slip into a comfortable silence and go back to watching the show but after about half an hour you notice her watching you and you ask her if she is ok.

“Yea, it’s just-” she pauses, “I think maybe it would be better if you rolled up my pants leg.  The dressing they put on is pretty thick so I’m not really feeling much.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, wanting to make sure she is comfortable.  You know how she feels about you or anyone seeing her scars.

“I’m sure,” she tells you.  You carefully roll up her pants leg, until it’s just higher than her knee.  You try not to stare and make her feel self conscious but you couldn’t help but look at the long scar that ran almost the length of her shin.  There were also several scars of various sizes and shapes, you assume from debris that had hit her.  

You place your hand back softly on her knee and make sure it feels ok.  “Much better,” she says with a smile, “Thanks Mischief”. 

@michelleleewise @evansabove1981 @ace-of-gay @butt-ugly-popsicle-stick @poetic-fiasco @lokisprettygirl22 @soubi001 @kats72 @misswimberly @meibruges @juulle987 @asgardianprincess1050 @el-zef @xorpsbane @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @apine7 @lulubelle814 @annoyingcloudninja  @yoongissidebitchh @ihategreeneggs  @daggers-and-mischief @nonsensicalobsessions

Let me know if you want to be added! 💚

[topsyturvy-turtely]

I posted 3,154 times in 2022

That's 3,090 more posts than 2021!

141 posts created (4%)

3,013 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@helloliriels

@loki-lock

@safedistancefrombeingsmart

@justanobsessedpan

@musingsofmyown

I tagged 2,195 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#johnlock - 611 posts

#bbc sherlock - 453 posts

#sherlock - 428 posts

#john watson - 366 posts

#sherlock holmes - 295 posts

#sherlock x john - 169 posts

#johnlock fanart - 151 posts

#martin freeman - 135 posts

#sherlock fanart - 135 posts

#benedict cumberbatch - 125 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#am i funny? cringy? funny but in a cringe way? yeah probably funny cringy way... nah probably just cringy... in any case:

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

okay so we all want BBC SHERLOCK S5 right???

and imho it needs to involve:

- A JOHNLOCK KISS!!!! (one that ~actually~ happens irl and not just in the mind palace or the like...)

-HUDDERS NOT BEING DEAD (seriously she is the soul of johnlock and she deserves better than to die. let her go on vacation or something... saw that post a few days ago)

-AND HARRY WATSON PRETTY PLEASE!!! (in a happy way. where john and her rebuild their relationship. also... maaaayyybbee bcs i'm a tiny bit in love with her)

-MORE (happy!) JOHNLOCK

154 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#4

how john watson found his heart again

[sequel to how john watson lost his heart ]

it's been two years since i've lost my heart.

two years of grief. two years of being lost. two years of darkness.

but it's okay, i've found her. she gave me a new heart.

it's not the same as my own but it does its job: it gave me life. it keeps me alive.

but suddenly you are back.

short version: not dead.

and you present me my long lost heart on a serving tray.

with your fake glasses, your fake mustache, your fake accent.

but my real heart.

right there in front of me.

abruptly i stand up. trying to hold back my anger.

alright. john. i'm suddenly realizing that i probably owe you some sort of an apology-

fist against the table.

two years.

keep it together, watson, i tell myself.

two years.

but how can i?

when the only reason to live is right there in front of me.

when the one reason i almost died myself was right there in front of me.

i thought-

not in the restaurant, watson.

i thought you were dead.

i died too that day. i have lost my heart that day. the day you died.

now you let me grieve...

i grieved for you, i grieved for my heart.

how could you do that?

HOW?!

See the full post

182 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

"JOHNLOCKed in a Closet"

- now on Ao3!!!

[cover art by @topsyturvy-turtely DO NOT REPOST]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M, F/F

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson; Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade; Harry Watson/Original Female Character; Sherlock Holmes & Mrs. Hudson & John Watson; Harry Watson & John Watson; Sherlock Holmes & Greg Lestrade

Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Mrs. Hudson (Sherlock Holmes), Mycroft Holmes, Greg Lestrade, Harry Watson, Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Fluff, Mrs. Hudson Ships It, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Johnlock - Freeform, Locked In, Trapped In A Closet, John is a Mess, John The Bisaster, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, Harry the gay advisor, Confused John, Soft Sherlock, Sassy John, Shy Sherlock, References to Canon, Case Fic, okay mostly it's fluff but anygays..., STILL THERE IS A CASE

Summary: Mrs. Hudson is done. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are just two silly little lovebirds who need to be locked together in a room until they can finally admit their feelings for each other! So this is EXACTLY what she does. And what room could be more fitting than a closet...?

Chapters: 15/15 (plus a dedication)

Originally published on Wattpad with the username "turtely". (21,6K views, 817 votes, 5K comments - status August 30th 2022)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40776522?view_full_work=true

204 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#2

He really just needed a kiss...

John hated it. He utterly and truly hated it. He despised himself for it. It was going on his nerves. In fact it annoyed the fucking SHIT out of him.

That stupid, always present, torturing urge to be kissed.

It was plain out ridiculous. But he couldn't help it. He wanted- needed that kind of body contact. Where one was taller, the other smaller. Where one was the bold and made the decisive move. Where your heart stops and your breath catches and-

John put the tea pot down with too much force so the china chinked. He grabbed the newspaper off the table with an emphasis that really wasn't necessary and he walked over to his armchair with a frown on his face and heaviness in his steps.

He dropped into the chair and scowled at the news. He felt like a teenager, which dropped his mood even more.

"You're annoyed.", his flatmate Sherlock, eyes closed hands steepled under his chin, his legs half up half down, stated. And it made John even more grumpy. Because look at this arsehole! With his damn hair and annoying face and stupid athletic body he wouldn't struggle AT ALL finding someone to kiss him. Not that he would care for such mundane things.

"Yes.", there was no point in denying it, John decided but hid his face behind the newspaper again.

"Why?"

Behind the safety of the newspaper John rolled his eyes. "I just am."

Sherlock opened his eyes and leaned forward, "That's ridiculous every human emotion has its origin in a deeper-"

"Oh for fuck's sake. You of all people lecturing me about human emotions is really not a to-do-thing for today, okay?!"

Sherlock sat up and John - even behind the paper - felt his studying gaze on him and the irritation inside him flamed up even more. "Stop staring.", he grumbled

Sherlock tilted his head - eyes still fixed on his flatmate. He leaned forward, pushing the newspaper down and the sudden proximity made John uneasy.

"Ever heard of personal space?"

"Of course.", Sherlock said and invaded John's.

"Then why are you in mine?"

"Because you want it."

"I want- what?"

"You wanna be close to someone.", Sherlock said, both hands on either side of his armchair now.

"No", John awkwardly fixed his sitting position. "I think I am good. Go back to your seat, Sherlo-"

But then Sherlock's lips were on his and John froze. It was just a hint of a kiss. It was nothing really. He could back off and then they could just-

He put his hand on the back of Sherlock's neck and his hand barely touched his side. He hesitantly kissed him back and then Sherlock's lips pecked John's lightly. Sherlock opened his mouth and John sucked on the other man's lower lip. John (or more his libido) decided he'd go a bit further and used his teeth to tease. When Sherlock gasped, John pulled back quickly.

"Oh. Wow. I didn't- didn't expect to happen.", he said, Sherlock still hovering above him. His eyes were fluttering open and then stared into John's. There was something in his gaze that made John wanna hug him tight.

Sherlock straightened up and fixed his perfectly cuffed cuffs on his shirt. That heated look was completely gone. There was no evidence of what had just happened, except ,maybe, that John's trousers were a tad bit tighter than before.

Still uselessly fumbling with his cuffs (with elegant, slim fingers), Sherlock finally looked up. And with his look came a wall, being built brick by brick between them. "You needed stimulation. I gave you that. I hope you feel better now.", Sherlock said matter-of-factly, finally letting his cuffs alone, rolling his shoulders once. With four long strides he was at the hook with his belstaff, put it on with one swift movement and opened the door. "I'll be out. No need to wait up."

And John was being left behind. Completely stunned. He still felt lips on his own, still felt breath creeping over his jaw, still saw a heated look that John felt like had burnt him.

With a deep breath he heaved himself up, the newspaper forgotten on John's lap, flew to the floor. John needed tea. While the water boiled, John thought about what Sherlock had said. That he had offered him stimulation and that he hoped John felt better now. And he did, definitely, feel better but there was a tuck inside him that made him frown.

See the full post

256 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sherlock: I KNOW!!!

john: you know what?

sherlock: i know what the H stands for!

john: *pinching the bridge of his nose* sherlock can you just dro-

sherlock: john hedgehog watson

john: ...

sherlock: ... :)

398 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ryik-the-writer]

CHAPTER 31: Alone

A03

      Chapter 1: Pan meets a Wendy

·         Chapter 2: Scars (Felix’s Story)

·         Chapter 3: Day One

·         Chapter 4: Revenge and Fireflies

·         Chapter 5: Brighter than Stars

·         Chapter 6: filler: The Tigress

·         Chapter 7: Operation Spotless!

·         Chapter 8: Operation Spotless: Reporters Down

·         Chapter 9: A Dance with the Devil

·         Chapter 10: filler: Felix and the Pancake

·         Chapter 11: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 1

·         Chapter 12: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 2

·         Chapter 13: The Girl With Blue Eyes: Underground

·         Chapter 14. Recovery

·         Chapter 14.2 Recovery some more

·         Chapter 15: Trapped

    Chapter 16: Filth

    Chapter 17: Fairydust pt. 1

    Chapter 18: Fairydust pt. 2

    Chapter 19: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

    Chapter 20: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 2

    Chapter 21: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

    Chapter 22: Reflections pt. 1

    Chapter 23: Reflections pt. 2

    Chapter 24: Closing

    Chapter 25: Felix is helping Pan

    Chapter 26: Temporary Fix

    Chapter 27: The Search Begins

     Chapter 28: The Missing Pan

     Chapter 29: Instincts

     Chapter 30: Temperance

    Chapter 30.5: Circuits

------

Life's weird, you know? I'm 26 years old and I'm essentially trying to start over.

I've quit my most recent job – and possible career—as a journalist. It was from a combination of exhaustion and a disagreement with management, but the job was leaving me no time or energy to pursue my personal writing. I've been very depressed the past few years and am making some adjustments in my life to try to ease it. I don't know what's happening next, but I want to be me again, and that may take a while. But, in the meantime, I think the best place to start is here.

P.S. I've been working on this chapter since February. It's good to finally get it out.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"We're almost there, okay?" Graham said to the shaking girl beside him, keeping his eyes on the road. If he looked at her, he'd go back to the docks and tear that damned ship apart with his own hands. He'd prefer its owner.

Wendy didn't respond, her bloodshot eyes trained on the passing town, the icy window cooling her burnt cheek.

She was so drained following her confrontation with Jones, but she was angrier at herself than anything else.

She let him go. She let him go and she didn't know why.

He was right there in front of her and she had distracted him long enough that if she had sent the call to Graham he would have been there in moments, gun drawn and handcuffs awaiting Pan's kidnapper.

But she let him go!

"Stupid, fucking stupid!" Wendy husked, fresh tears starting to flow.

"No you're not," Graham soothed.

"I let him go I let him go…" Wendy yelled before breaking down all over again.

Graham gripped the steering wheel hard, trying desperately to contain his firm composure.

Wendy was in trouble and he had no choice but to bring her into custody. As the sheriff, it was his duty, as the man who'd gotten to know her, who'd helped as many times that he had, he was devastated for her.

His fingers twisted into the rough leather, years of police work helping him ease into an impassive state so that her cries wouldn't affect him.

Almost.

He turned down the road to get her to the hospital. He'd have to have Whale look her over for legality sake, but then it'd be off to the station.

He was half-hoping Jones had threatened her, forcibly coerced her into letting him go. At least then she'd be innocent on that level.

After all…Jones did have valuable information on her…

Before he could muse on that subject any further, they arrived at the hospital, and Graham decided to let the matter rest for now. He had a lot of calls to make and Wendy couldn't do much more harm in a secure hospital room.

They sat in the car a moment longer, each musing on their own thoughts.

Wendy had let go of a madman and she couldn't pinpoint why. If it had been de Vil or Jekyll they'd be in a jail cell by now, but why not Jones?

Because she was too close, she realized, and she still hadn't accepted that he had used her. That he lied to her face while Pan was dying just under her feet.

But he was going to let her go! Hell, he'd promised her twice.

And in the end he had…

"I can't kill you, Wendy, you've grown on me too much."

Wendy leaned her head back into the leather seat, groaning. Maybe he did have some shred of humility, fine, but he was still a kidnapper and most likely a murderer.

She'd messed up, Gods had she.

The shrill of a cellphone caused them both to bolt, Graham grabbing the device in his cup holder to silence it.

"Damn it," he cursed when he saw the number, shooting a look to Wendy. "Stay here."

His voice more cold than he'd wanted it to be. But he had to harden his heart now.

Back at the car, Wendy watched the exchange between Graham and whoever was on the other line blankly, her latest outburst having drained her.

The sheriff looked tense and his eyes would cut to her momentarily. Finally he ended the call and made a quick line to her door.

"Let's go," he sighed.

"Where—"

"Back to your room for now," Graham responded, not meeting her eyes.

Wendy allowed him to lead her back to the hospital.

A cold gust of air hit them when they entered the lobby, the very place Wendy had snuck from not even an hour before.

She glanced at the chairs Felix, Tink and August had been in and found them to be empty, but more yelling caused her to turn to the circulatory desk.

"We just want to make sure they're alright!" Tink yelled at the nurse.

"And I've told you unless you're family—"

"We are family!" Tink shot back.

"Enough!" Graham yelled, all but shoving Wendy into the open elevator. "Visiting hours are over. I want you all to go home and I don't want to see you again tonight or so help me I will throw you all in a cell!"

The trio stiffened. Graham had never been this firm before, this…angry.

Tink's eyes met Wendy's. There were so many things they knew they wanted to say, and Wendy was desperate for some kind of comfort.

"I'll bring you some things," Tink said with an uneasy smile.

"Bring them to the station," Graham muttered as he closed the elevator, leaving the trio and Wendy stunned.

The sheriff said nothing to his charge as they traveled to their destination. Wendy knew she was in dire trouble, but she couldn't muster enough fear to truly care. Her mind was too otherwise occupied.

They made to their floor and Wendy stepped out without instruction.

"Just get cleaned up and stay put," he sighed as he opened the door, pausing when he saw that the other occupant was wide awake…

And going through the file he'd left behind.

Wendy gasped at the site of Pan sitting upright in his bed. Just an hour ago she hadn't even been sure he'd ever open his eyes again.

But his eyes were wildly searching through the contents of the file, tearing at the pages with strength he shouldn't have.

"Pan…"

His eyebrows were drawn down in a way that made him confused. He blinked once and finally looked up at her and his expression was utterly unreadable.

That is until he turned to Graham and fire arose in his eyes.

"Is he locked up? Have you told her?" His voice was a bare croak..

Graham came around her and snatched the file from Pan's hands, papers flying about the room.

"You are always…" Graham began with a growl, stopping as his nails tore into the papers in his fingers.

Pan looked between them and at the paper that had flown on the floor. Jekyll's blank face was staring up at her and it was making her nauseous.

But there was something else.

"Have. You. Told. Her!" Pan yelled, his voice breaking from exhaustion.

Graham kept his jaw clenched, is eyes cutting to another series of photos that his officers and pulled from Jones's ship.

Wendy followed his gaze and met the sheriff's, who seemed to beg her not to move, not to think about the situation going on around her.

But she was shaking at this point, terrified and so very confused.

She darted to the photos Graham was staring at, feeling the ghost of his hand grasp at her to stop her, but to no avail.

"Wendy wait—"

But she had one photo turned over, and her blood ran cold.

The faces staring back at her were friendly. Their authentic smile should have comforted her.

But instead they filled her with the most gut-wrenching horror she'd felt to date.

They were the smiles of her parents, her dear mother who never had an unkind word for anyone. Who braved cancer so that her only daughter could seek her own adventure without guilt or burden. Her firm father, who wasn't unkind, but had no patience to try to understand his daughter. Wendy wanted to fix that one day. Her brothers, so young, still coming into their own.

And her. At least, Wendy thought it was. She could barely recognize the girl in the photo, bright eyes and unscarred skin.

It was a picture that, to her knowledge, only existed on her hallway table in her apartment and her parents' mantle at home.

Why was it in one of the boxes that had been on Jones' ship?

"Miss Darling?"

Wendy blinked, the motion slow. The act of lifting her head to look at the Sherriff's face was nearly impossible to do. Her life had been sucked from every cell in her body.

What had she done?

"Miss Darling," Graham repeated. He sounded so far away. Wendy could almost believe he wasn't in the room.

In the distance, a deep grunted cough. And then another until the sound was a constant, frightening hum.

Graham vanished from her view in a flash and she heard his voice burst.

"Pan! Nurse, get in here!"

Wendy found the strength to turn her head.

Pan was bouncing up and down on the bed, mouth agaped, gasping for air that wouldn't come.

"Whale!" Graham screamed as he tried to stabilize Pan.

A broken sound left her throat. Not Pan. Not now.

"Don't …" she croaked, collapsing miserably as struggled to lift herself to her knees.

Don't go.

"Get her—"

What had she done?

"Away!"

Then…

Shifting.

She couldn't see Pan any more. She'd been pulled into a separate part of the room, a thick curtain drawn to obscure him from her view.

But the noise was all too clear.

"P—P—"

"Get Whale in here now!"

Wendy's voice cracked and she has to use both hands to block out her sobbing.

What had she done?

A shift.

Like waves.

The light had changed both inside and outside the room. It must be night now.

On a ship.

Wendy sat up from her hard hospital bed, the curtain drawn around her making her feel more closed in. Suffocated.

The only relief was the thing line separating the curtain from the wall, giving her the barest glimpse of the rest of the room.

The sounds of the hospital's machines lulled her into an outward sense of calm. On the inside however, her blood was crawling.

Hours seemed to pass as she watched the minimum activity occur from that slit. Nurses checking Pan's vitals, checking his monitor. He didn't move once.

"He almost died," once nurse whispered.

"Him?" the other gasped, looking hurriedly back and forth between the comatose boy and her workmate. "Unbelievable! Of all the times he's been in this hospital…"

They blessedly left her alone.

Even if they had looked in to check on her, she wouldn't have been able to reply or cooperate. The shock of the last day had left her numb, incapable of feeling anything but the weight of her mistakes.

It was heavier each time she saw the tense rise and fall of Pan's chest as oxygen was manually pumped into his body by machines. In the way the tube down his throat shook on occasion.

This was the stillest she'd ever seen the wild boy. It was unnerving, like a lucid nightmare.

"Please, open your eyes."

Heal this scar on my heart.

His silence did allow her to think, however.

Her family was in some kind of apparent danger. Why would Jones have a photo of them? What had she or Pan done to make them targets?

She wondered if Graham had notified them or at least the authorities in London. Were they safe? Were they—

No. She couldn't think that. If Jones let her live, certainly he'd exchange the same curtesy to her parents and two underage boys, right?

Wendy slowly sat up, letting blood flow more evenly to her as she urged adrenaline to return. She couldn't just lie here. She couldn't risk her family not knowing they could be in danger.

She eased her legs off the side of the bed carefully, both for balance sake and caution. The nurses would very well tie her to the bed if they saw her walking around. And she had the suspicion that Graham was ready to throw her in a jail cell for the trouble she'd caused.

She was formulating a half-hazard plan in her groggy mind, and it would take someone more diabolical than she to help her optimize it.

She had to get to her family.

Her bag and clothes were laid out neatly on the counter between her and Pan's bed. She grabbed her bag and hugged it to her chest as she slid down to the foot of her bed, trying to stay out of sight from the roaming nurses outside. She breathed in relief as she found her cellphone. 20%. That was enough to make the call she needed.

She hands shook as she dialed the appropriate numbers to make a long-distance call to London and waited to hear her mother's gentle greeting or even her father's more gruff one.

A click.

"Mother?"

We're sorry, we cannot connect this call. Your service is out of bound. Hang up and –

"Damn it!" Wendy shouted, gaining just enough composure to quiet down before a nurse showed up.

Her mind raced like the wind during a sea storm, all her ideas scattered like the remains of a wrecked ship.

Then suddenly, a glimpse of clarity. The eye of the storm.

The eye of the devil himself.

Wendy readied her cell phone to make another call.

No, not to Tink or Felix, or even Lily or August. Too risky. They needed to be here for Pan.

No, she needed someone darker, someone who didn't have anyone else to lose.

She grimaced when she felt the crumpled up business card at the bottom of her bag. For a split second, she hoped it wasn't the one she was looking for, but of course it was.

She gripped it tightly in her clasped hands, hesitatingly heavily. She glanced at Pan's unconscious form, wishing desperately that he would open his eyes and talk her out of what she was about to do. Yell at her. Call her names. Anything.

But he was comatose because of her. She had no right to hurt him anymore.

She took a deep breath and checked once more that there wasn't a nurse coming dialed in the number on the card, hoping they wouldn't answer. It was late after all. Well past business hours—

"Gold's Pawnshop."

Wendy closed her eyes, feeling a nauseous sense of regret hit her.

"Hello?" The voice on the other line inquired more aggressively.

"M-Mr. Gold," Wendy finally spoke just when she thought he would hung up. "It's…It's Wendy Darling."

The pause that followed sounded like the silence after a car crash, when a survivor was still trying to determine if they had survived or not.

When Wendy heard the haunting chuckle that followed her greeting, she was more than certain that at one point in the last few days she must have died.

She was entering the lowest level of hell.

"Miss Darling," Gold spoke. Wendy could picture the large grin spreading over his sharp face. "What can I do for you?"

Wendy fussed with the card in her hand, the silky cardstock a scalding coal in palm.

"I need your assistance getting out of Storybrooke, preferably in the next hour,"

"Does the Mirror not pay you vacation time, Miss Darling?"

Wendy clenched her teeth. "Please, stop."

She hadn't meant the words to come out as a choked sob, but the stress from the last few days were weighing her down fast and she no longer had the ability to hold up her control.

Gold seemed to sense her distress and cut to the chase.

"What's happened?"

"I…I…I can't…" Wendy slipped down the wall, clutching the phone for dear life. "It's complicated, but I got involved with someone who has put everyone I care about in danger."

"Is this about Pan's disappearance?" Gold questioned evenly, even the barest hint of concern absent from his voice.

Wendy decided not to focus on that, knew she'd say something that would end their conversation abruptly is she did.

"It's more about the person who caused his disappearance, partially I mean," she tugged on the edges of her hair nervously. "Bottom line, he's done with Pan and Storybrooke, I think, but my family in London might be next on his list."

Gold remained quiet as Wendy summed up the details from the last few hours, not pressing for any unnecessary details.

"I know it's asking for a lot very quickly, but …" Wendy allowed herself to trail off, not having the strength or the mentality to press on. He knew what she needed, he didn't need the sob story.

"It's quite the request indeed," he commented. Wendy could heard the wickedness rise once more in his voice. "But I accept, but I need something from you first."

"I have every intention of paying you back."

"Not's hardly a concern of mine, Miss Darling," he said. "What I need from you is something a bit more personal."

Wendy gripped the phone tightly. Wendy hadn't thought she'd underestimated him this entire time. She'd seen the darkness in his eyes, saw it in his cold, calculating smile.

She thought briefly of Belle, recalled the gentle way she heard him speak to her at the hospital. Had that been a farce, or had he simply pulled down his mask long enough to appear human. At the time of the young woman's rescue, Wendy wondered if perhaps Gold would recall Wendy's part in saving her and call them even.

"What is it?" she asked, accepting her fate.

He was quite for a moment, but the words he spoke next chilled her.

"I need you to tell me how much you need my help,"

Wendy blinked, generally unsure just what he meant.

"Pardon?"

His cold chuckle followed.

"I know how to recognize a desperate soul, and you are by far the most desperate one I've met to date."

Wendy shook her head, unable to fully comprehend what he was asking of her.

"What…I…I…"

"And I want you ask yourself why that is," he continued.

Those final words hit her like a bucket of ice. Every faux decision she'd made in the last few weeks.

She hadn't meant to hurt anyone. Hadn't ever wanted to. It just happened, and she inadvertently isolated herself from anyone who cared for her.

She looked at Pan's unconscious form once more. It was easy to blame him. He'd twisted every decent thing she'd tried to accomplish. He burned everything he touched.

But she'd made her own choices. She chose to allow him in her life and kept him too close. He'd gotten hurt in the process.

In a way, he would have been better off if she had cut him out.

"This is my price, Miss Darling," he said. "You may take it, or we can part, and we'll speak nothing more of this conversation.

"Fine. I need your help. I…I really need your help."

"Because?"

A hot tear ran down her cheek. It felt like the barest of defeat.

"I'm…"

All.

Alone.

"I'm desperate."

She heard the lightest hum as his response. It was almost a gluttonal sound. She wasn't sure how she would have reacted if she'd heard him laugh.

"Very good, Miss Darling," he said at last. Wendy managed to keep her chin from wobbling.

"Now, I need you to follow my next instructions very carefully. Are you able to leave the hospital?"

Wendy straightened up. Her family. She had to leave.

"I can try, but there's nurses everywhere. I think Sheriff Graham has me on some kind of unspoken lockdown."

Gold hummed once more, this one more calculating than gratified.

"I'll handle him. Now Miss Darling, I want you to dress and gather what you have with you and be ready to leave. When I hang up, I need you to wait exactly 15 minutes. Exactly that, do you understand?"

"Yes." Wendy replied half-heartedly.

"Good. When you're 15 minutes start, you'll make your way down the hospital stairs. Under no circumstances are you to go near the elevators."

"Cameras." Wendy concluded.

"Very good," he praised, though the comment had the weight of an insult.

"Then, when you come out on the first floor, you're going to take a left until you get to the west wing, the one adjacent to the children's ward, do you recall?"

Wendy felt her entire body tense.

The darkness. The smell of mold. Belle's wile, blue eyes.

That horrid man's hands around her neck.

"No." she said definitively. "I can't go through there. I won't."

"Yes you will." Gold said firmly.

"There's another way, there has to be," Wendy pled. How was it that she'd been in this hospital so many damn times but hadn't learned the exit routes?

"Just maybe there is, but do you really want to waste time exploring those options?"

Wendy seethed. "You're doing this on purpose. You're sick!"

She was greeted with a humorless chuckle. "I'm many things, Miss Darling, but right now I'm the one person in the world who could help you."

That's not so, Wendy wanted to say, but she dared not bring Felix or Tink or even August into this. This man seemed to gain power over anyone who gave him their name.

"Then what?" She croaked.

Why are you doing this? I helped you.

"You'll vacate the ward and you'll continue along the wall of the west wing until you come across an overgrown parking lot about a quarter of mile past the hospital. There's an overgrown courtyard you must go through. A man by the name of Mr. Dove will be there waiting for you with a car. You'll go with him and he'll escort you to Boston. By the time you reach there, a one-way ticket should be awaiting you."

The term 'one-way' perked Wendy's attention. Did he think she made no plans to return? Did she at this point?

"Is all that agreeable?"

Wendy hesitated. What was waiting for her if she returned? Scorned friends who were better off without her? An unstable job she was more than certain she was fired from at this point? A jail sentence?

She glanced at Pan, unconscious and oddly peaceful-looking.

"Yes," Wendy answered. "I'll meet him there."

"Very good," Gold said. "Fifteen minutes, Miss Darling."

"Yes." Wendy agreed, ready to hang up.

"Oh, and Miss Darling?"

Wendy flinched, begrudgingly lifting the phone to her ear.

"Yes?"

"Such a pleasure hearing from you again."

He hung up before she could respond, leaving her in blessedly silent quiet.

She sat there for a moment more, trying to decide exactly what consequences she'd see for making a deal with a shark like Mr. Gold. It couldn't be any worse than the rawness in her soul.

She wiped her face. She couldn't think about that now, couldn't focus on anything but getting to her family.

Fifteen minutes. Exactly fifteen minutes.

She began to move, gathering what little she had with her and changing, her stomach lurching at every sound. She eyed the door as she finished, hearing the distance taps of nurses shoes go back and forth.

She silenced her phone, ready to leave, but the site of Pan's still form from the corner of her eye caused her to pause.

She lowered her head in a sense of shame, each beep of his heart monitor stabbing at her.

He didn't respond when she stood over him, her hand's hovering above his form, unsure of where to go.

Ten minutes.

Wasn't there evidence that comatose patience could sense the outward world? Hear, smell and even imagine everything around them?

Looking at him, Wendy had to doubt that theory. He was so still. So unlike the every-moving wild boy who brought so much chaos in and out of her life.

Wendy grazed her fingers over his hand where the IV pumped life into his veins.

The nurses said his dehydration had led to a severe kidney infection. He had just narrowly missed full organ failure by a day.

"Pan," she whispered. "I…I'm sorry for everything. For my part in hurting you. For not seeing Jones for what he was."

Of course she received no reply. In a way she was thankful for that. If he was awake, would he talk her out of this? Try to be some sort of voice of reason? Or would he encourage this dangerous and wayward idea?

Five minutes left.

She continued to graze his skin, counting every second until she could move.

Why did Gold give her such a specific time limit?

"You never really told me about him." she said to Pan. "You didn't tell me how dark he really was."

Wendy found the gal to turn her hand and grip his hand.

"What else did he do to you Pan? Why do you hate him so much?"

Pan's hand flinched under hers.

She would have thought the scream that followed next was his if it wasn't for the flashing lights above her head.

Times up.

Wendy stilled as chaos erupted outside, nurses yelling, running back and forth trying to make sense of what was going on.

But she knew. It was time to go.

"I'm sorry," she said hastily to Pan, missing how his fingers curled inward—trying to stop her.

Wendy stuck her head carefully from the room, having to squint through the flashing red light that bathed the upper level of Storybrooke Hospital. The alarm had summoned all the nurses and the security guards to it, giving her a chance to escape unseen.

She took a deep breath and made a beeline for the stairs that would get her on the first floor.

Her ears were ringing and her vision was blurring from the aggressive lights. Coupled with her exhaustion, it was almost enough to make her pass out. She kept losing her grip on the stair railing and had to claw at the wall to keep from barreling down.

She paused when she saw the dingy, dented door that led to the forbidden ward. It was her only exit, the quickest way to get to her family and ensure their safety.

It was ridiculous to be afraid. Sheriff Graham had looked the place up and down. There was no one in there now. It was empty and dead.

But in Wendy's mind, they were still in there.

Suddenly, the alarm stopped, the agonizing red siren paused, bathing the hospital in the sickening white light. It was now or never. She inhaled sharply and ripped open the door, the dank air sucking her in. Trapping her in as she slammed the door behind her.

Wendy squinted into the dark gray hallway, trying to control her breathing, listening intently to every sound the dank ward had to offer.

She had a ride waiting for her, that's what Mr. Gold said. They'd leave, and then she'd truly be lost. She had to move. She had to move.

She kept her palms on the wall, her hands shaking as she crept carefully down the hall.

"There's nothing here," Wendy whispered to herself. "I'm alone here, I just need to get to the exit…I just need to get out."

Her grip on the wall became more frantic as she ventured further, the hallway advancing into a darkness she'd only see in the depths of her dreams.

The space around was beginning to feel more dream-like, as if she were walking through an inky cloud, surrounded by thick air that threatened to evaporate at any moment.

Dropping her to a slow, expected death.

As the pressure changed, so did Wendy's vision. Burst of reds and greens flashed before her, overstimulating her shaken mind. She began to get disoriented, fearful that she'd gotten lost and she would never find the exit. There was no light, nothing to lead her out.

But then, a shift. A flicker of icy wind licked her cheek.

And something swiped at her hair.

Wendy shot forward, the scream stuck in the depths of her throat shooting upwards to her brain.

No no no no no no no no.

She had to leave, whether out a new exit or to her death she didn't care.

She kept running into the darkness, anemic lines of right becoming more prominent, revealing she was closer to freedom.

Or perhaps it was her own mind singing its desperation for escape.

There was no door, no natural means of escape. The hallway only seemed to get longer.

As full-blown panic began to morph into sheer delusion, instinct kicked in. Wendy searched for the source of the scarce light until she found a filthy window. She used her sleeves to wipe it frantically, her fingers outlining the trees she could just see in the distant.

She pushed at it, trying frantically to get it open as her desperation rose.

A long bead of sweat dove down her spine, her arms shaking from excursion.

"Let me out!" she yelled, slamming her hand on the window until it was caked with a thick layer of dirt and dust.

"Please," she gasped as she began to beat on the glass again. Her only escape. "NOW!"

Wendy's palm burst through the glass, the crisp icy air embodying her freedom. She felt the blood before she felt the sting of the shards breaking into her skin but she continued to push and punch to get out of the forbidden wing.

With a final burst of adrenaline, she grabbed the edges of the window and pulled herself through the narrow space, the surrounding shrubbery scratching at her skin.

Her hips were just barely able to get through, and Wendy was certain she could feel something pulling at her ankles, trying to pull her back into the dark.

She clawed at the out wall for extra leverage, giving her just what she need to squeeze out of the window and hit the hard ground.

Wendy crawled as quickly as she could from the building, flipping onto her back to defend herself against the thing that had been lurking in the ward.

But she was met with nothing but darkness and blissful quiet. Whatever phantom that had plagued her has simply vanished.

Wendy took in a shaky breath, piecing her thoughts together bit by bit.

She had escaped the hospital, though the commotion she just made would no doubt garner unwanted attention. She had to keep moving. She had to get to her family.

She sighed and began to stand, shrieking when a piercing pain erupted though her right hand, arm and hip. She looked down in horror and saw flakes of glass sticking out of her limbs, the testament to her escape. She couldn't even flex her fingers. Each time the glass would stab at her damaged hands.

Wendy's frustration finally boiled over and she let out a great scream, one worthy of a cryptid.

"FUCK!" she yelled as loud as she could, a sharp sob breaking through her throat. For several moments she couldn't stop sobbing, couldn't be brave any more.

The last few months had been pure Hell and she had taken all the hits, numbed herself to the consequences in an attempt to move forward. But it wasn't just her psyche that took a dive this time. It was her heart and her spirit. Killian Jones had shown her the first bout of affection she's truly felt in weeks, made her feel more human that the soulless heap she'd felt like. Pan had long damaged her spirit, but she'd nearly lost her heart completely when she saw him in that hospital room. On death's door because of her.

Now her family—her parents and dear brothers—could be in the same state because she didn't have the gall to pull the trigger on Jones. What if he was there already? Could she do it this time?

She'd never find out if she stayed here sobbing in the dirt, she decided. She wiped her eyes, taking in several calming breaths. Yeah, she'd made some misguided decisions lately, but she had the chance to at least amend one. She'd made a deal with the devil to get to London and she had to go through with it, even if she had to face Graham's wrath when she returned.

She stood with a grimace, hissing as blood ran down her arms and legs, and began limping towards the aforementioned courtyard that modeled yet another maze of horrors. But, with the thought that she was yet another step closer to getting to her family before Jones did, she limped bravely into the weave of dead vines and branches.

She began to look back at the space she just left – wanted to catch a glimpse of the monsters who forced her through that beacon of hell—but decided against it as tears began to well into her eyes.

She'd had enough of that place.

The moon acted as Wendy's only guide and only light source save a few illegally dimmed streetlights. She pulled and fought of dead thorns as she moved closer to what she could make out as a black sea.

Wendy stumbled through the rest of the shrubbery. A glance behind her proved she's put in a good half mile from the hospital—which had otherwise been silent following her escape.

Knowing her time was still extremely limited, she search around quickly to spot an older-fashioned car and a notably tall man standing at its rear.

Wendy approached the two cautiously, both throbbing limbs and paranoid suspicion bubbling through her. This could easily be a trap from Gold—a diabolical and brutally cruel scenario to tease her exhausted mind. It would surely incriminate her to a tee. She's be sitting in Sheriff Graham's jail for the rest of her life.

But she had everything to lose, so she paused at the car, several feet from the large man.

Wendy cleared her dry throat—vaguely tasting dust—and coughed out a greeting to the man. He turned around effortlessly, his eyes evaluating her with a calm and potently disinterested scowl.

"Mr…bird?" Wendy coughed.

"Dove, actually," the man returned with a curt nod, his tone more softer than his appearance had previewed. "Miss Darling, I presume."

Wendy felt a twinge of relief, nodding.

Mr. Dove nodded and stepped around the car—oddly seeming smaller not that he was closer to Wendy. He opened the back passenger door and waved Wendy to it.

"We haven't much time, so I'm afraid we'll have to go straight to the Boston Airport,"

Wendy tensed. "We can't stop by my apartment quickly? I'm sorry, but I have to grab my cellphone charger, not to mention my passport—"

Mr. Dove moved slightly, holding out a shoulder bag thick with items.

"Mr. Gold had me gather the proper documentation. I'm afraid you'll have to figure out your toiletries in your own time."

Wendy's face paled, an unfortunate image of this perfect stranger filtering through her intimate belongings but accepted the bag quickly.

"I guess this is it," Wendy sighed, feeling a strange emptiness weigh her.

"Yes," Dove answered. "If you'll please—"

The irritating sound of a revved engine spearing towards them caused Wendy and Mr. Dove both to pause. Both shot towards the reverberating sound as a pair of headlights beamed closer to them.

Wendy sucked in a breath. If it was Graham, she was done for!

Mr. Dove tensed beside him and Wendy gasped when his hand drew into his oversized coat for what must have been a weapon.

The car – a pea green Voltzwagon Bug – came to a screeching halt in front of them, its owner stepping out with a growl.

"Tink!" Wendy gasped.

"Miss Le Bell?"

Tink burst out of her pea-green bug, the door slamming so hard behind her Wendy feared the sound echoed into the hospital.

The blond woman glared back before her Wendy and the excessively tall man who seemed to know her.

She stopped in front of them, hands on her hips, and they both seemed to shrink under her sharp gaze.

"I knew it," Tink said, the words like acid. "I felt it in my bones. Something is wrong and you're working with…"

"It's not what you think!" Wendy jumped in.

Tink gave her an incredulous look and turned her ire back towards the excessively tall man before them.

"Mr. Dove," Tink said as a form of greeting. "Please?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Le Bell," Dove spoke evenly. "This is between Miss Darling and Mr. Gold."

"Well now it's between her and me," Tink said, stepping around to the passenger side of her car. She opened her door, begging Wendy's cooperation with her eyes.

"Wendy, please get in."

"I can't," Wendy said, though she was itching to get into Tink's warm and familiar BMW than Gold's cold and ominous Cadillac.

"Wendy, whatever's going on, whatever you did or what you're running from, associating with Mr. Gold is not the way to fix your problem," Tink said.

"I don't have a choice," Wendy said simply. "I don't have time to explain, and I know I have no right asking you for anything…" she swallowed guiltily. "Please Tink, don't say anything and don't try to stop me."

Tink shook her head. "Wendy, let me help you. Gold is the last person you can trust. The second you accept something from him, your deal never ends. Whatever's happened to you, it's not worth chaining yourself to him."

"It is if it keeps my friends and family safe," Wendy countered before frowning. "Family, I mean."

Tink sighed. "Wendy, what happened between me and Mother Superior, that had nothing to do with you."

"Of course it is!" Wendy said.

"No," Tink said as she shook her head. She bowed it next as the next thought came to her. "It's kind of like Pan said, she had it coming. I hate her lies were exposed the way they were, but in the end, I'm glad it's all over with. Yes, I'm angry, but I'm ready to move on, and I am so sorry you got hurt and mixed up with this."

Wendy struggled not to cave. Tink wouldn't dare try to use mental manipulation with her, but this still stalling her even if her words seemed sincere.

"I…" Wendy gulped, too many thoughts swarming her senses.

"I…I can't do this now," Wendy cried. "I have to go."

"Where are you going? What's going on Wendy, let me help you!"

"I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me! Please Tink, let me handle this."

"Not like this," Tink said firmly, turning her sharp gaze to Dove. "Where are you taking her? I'll take her there."

"Tink, no—" Wendy begged.

"Don't be like Pan, Wendy," Tink yelled. Wendy stiffened. "Don't push everyone away when things become too much! You have people who care about you! Let them help you. Whatever's happened, don't go at it alone."

Wendy stared at her former friend. How could one person be so sure when everything was falling around them? Was Tink right? Was she doing what Pan would do and push people away? He did do that, but there were moments when she could feel that all he wanted was to reach out. However, he disguised this need with cruelty, either due to a lack of compassion or a fear of intimacy she had yet to discover..

And now Wendy was doing the same thing.

You're just as filthy and selfish as he is.

Even though she wanted to protect Tink, she also didn't want to leave Storybrooke with a complete stranger.

Wendy turned to Dove, who was still watching their interaction quietly.

"I'd like to go with her, please,"

Dove nodded. "I can't stop you, but I will have to alert Mr. Gold of this change."

"You may do so," Wendy said, slinging the bag with her passport protectively over her shoulder.

Dove looked down at his watch. "I'd suggest you move quickly then. You're flight for London leave at 4 a.m."

Tink stiffened. "London?"

Wendy looked at her helplessly and Tink didn't press the subject further.

"Boston Airport it is."

Wendy nodded and got into Tink's warm car, putting on her seatbelt as Tink typed the directions in her phone.

Wendy looked at Dove through the rearview mirror as they drove off. He was a still as a statute, and she truly hoped he was more friend than foe. Still, she wondered what the repercussions of her decision would be with Gold. But she couldn't think of that right now. She couldn't think of anything but getting to London.

"Check the glove compartment." Tink said suddenly.

"What?"

Tink took her eyes off the road for a moment to nod at Wendy's hands and legs.

"You're bleeding. I think I have some antiseptic and gauze in my first aid kit. It's in the glove compartment."

"Oh!" Wendy said, the pain creeping back into her limbs. Her hands were blood and dirty as were her jeans. A thick, dry gash stained her entire thigh. Wendy viciously rubbed at the area with Tink's provided wet wipes, biting her lip to keep from hissing at the pain. No doubt she'd need to clean it properly when she reached London. She parents may insist she see a doctor.

Tink remained quiet as they drove but Wendy could sense her tension. Her hands gripped the steering wheel firmly, a hint of white spreading across her knuckles.

"I can't tell you much right now," Wendy said, looking out the window so she wouldn't meet Tink's eyes.

"I figured," she returned. "But…I'm willing to listen. You know that, right?"

Wendy did. And she was more than grateful. But she didn't want her to taint her with her sins. Tink deserved so much better than that.

Thankfully, Tink didn't breach the subject any further and they soon arrived at the airport with ample time to spare.

"Do you want me to walk in with you?" Tink inquired.

"I'm fine, thank you," Wendy said as she opened the door.

"Hold on," Tink said, undoing her seatbelt and turning to search through her back seat. Wendy was surprised when she pulled out one of Wendy's tote back, her cellphone charger poised at the overflowing bag's contents.

"I…"

"Told you I'd bring you some things," Tink finished, giving her a half smile. "I got you Wendy, no matter what."

Wendy hugged the bag closely to her, the familiar scent of her clothing causing tears to well in her eyes. And try as Wendy did, she couldn't stop them from flowing. She was sobbing before she could stop herself, harder than she had even at the hospital.

Tink allowed her a few moments to get started before she leaned in and wrapped her arms around her, allowing her to sob into her shoulder.

"It's okay," Tink said.

As she continued to release her anguish, Wendy thought perhaps she was right. She survived so much so far and Tink's compassion inspired her that she would survive this whole horror story.

She calmed finally, though Tink's comfort did not cease.

It was this comfort that allowed Wendy to belive—truly, truly believe—

She was not alone.

Felix never really knew what to make of August. He knew of his doomed relationship with Pan, knew it was just a bit more serious than some of his other trysts, but ultimately didn't survive Pan's chaotic mood and lifestyle.

Frankly, he wasn't fond of August. He hated how he'd hurt his father over and over again. Hated how casually he lived with the things he did.

But, he decided as they walked to Pan and Wendy's shared room, he had to have some decency if he went through all they had the last few days for Pan's sake. Pity his fondness was one-sided.

They entered the room the nurse below gave them, squinting in the black to see two empty and unmade beds.

"Maybe we're in the wrong room?"

Felix knew good and well they weren't. August knew it as well, but admitting to the sight before them would lead to a whole new wave of trouble.

Pan's bed was empty, his IVs thrown carelessly to the floor.

His window—fully opened—had let in a strangely warm and terrifying breeze in his absence.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Geez, I finally got Pan off that ship … but where is he now?

Life's weird, you know? I'm 26 years old and I'm essentially trying to start over.

I've quit my most recent job – and possible career—as a journalist. It was from a combination of exhaustion and a disagreement with management, but the job was leaving me no time or energy to pursue my personal writing. I've been very depressed the past few years and am making some adjustments in my life to try to ease it. I don't know what's happening next, but I want to be me again, and that may take a while. But, in the meantime, I think the best place to start is here.

P.S. I've been working on this chapter since February. It's good to finally get it out.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"We're almost there, okay?" Graham said to the shaking girl beside him, keeping his eyes on the road. If he looked at her, he'd go back to the docks and tear that damned ship apart with his own hands. He'd prefer its owner.

Wendy didn't respond, her bloodshot eyes trained on the passing town, the icy window cooling her burnt cheek.

She was so drained following her confrontation with Jones, but she was angrier at herself than anything else.

She let him go. She let him go and she didn't know why.

He was right there in front of her and she had distracted him long enough that if she had sent the call to Graham he would have been there in moments, gun drawn and handcuffs awaiting Pan's kidnapper.

But she let him go!

"Stupid, fucking stupid!" Wendy husked, fresh tears starting to flow.

"No you're not," Graham soothed.

"I let him go I let him go…" Wendy yelled before breaking down all over again.

Graham gripped the steering wheel hard, trying desperately to contain his firm composure.

Wendy was in trouble and he had no choice but to bring her into custody. As the sheriff, it was his duty, as the man who'd gotten to know her, who'd helped as many times that he had, he was devastated for her.

His fingers twisted into the rough leather, years of police work helping him ease into an impassive state so that her cries wouldn't affect him.

Almost.

He turned down the road to get her to the hospital. He'd have to have Whale look her over for legality sake, but then it'd be off to the station.

He was half-hoping Jones had threatened her, forcibly coerced her into letting him go. At least then she'd be innocent on that level.

After all…Jones did have valuable information on her…

Before he could muse on that subject any further, they arrived at the hospital, and Graham decided to let the matter rest for now. He had a lot of calls to make and Wendy couldn't do much more harm in a secure hospital room.

They sat in the car a moment longer, each musing on their own thoughts.

Wendy had let go of a madman and she couldn't pinpoint why. If it had been de Vil or Jekyll they'd be in a jail cell by now, but why not Jones?

Because she was too close, she realized, and she still hadn't accepted that he had used her. That he lied to her face while Pan was dying just under her feet.

But he was going to let her go! Hell, he'd promised her twice.

And in the end he had…

"I can't kill you, Wendy, you've grown on me too much."

Wendy leaned her head back into the leather seat, groaning. Maybe he did have some shred of humility, fine, but he was still a kidnapper and most likely a murderer.

She'd messed up, Gods had she.

The shrill of a cellphone caused them both to bolt, Graham grabbing the device in his cup holder to silence it.

"Damn it," he cursed when he saw the number, shooting a look to Wendy. "Stay here."

His voice more cold than he'd wanted it to be. But he had to harden his heart now.

Back at the car, Wendy watched the exchange between Graham and whoever was on the other line blankly, her latest outburst having drained her.

The sheriff looked tense and his eyes would cut to her momentarily. Finally he ended the call and made a quick line to her door.

"Let's go," he sighed.

"Where—"

"Back to your room for now," Graham responded, not meeting her eyes.

Wendy allowed him to lead her back to the hospital.

A cold gust of air hit them when they entered the lobby, the very place Wendy had snuck from not even an hour before.

She glanced at the chairs Felix, Tink and August had been in and found them to be empty, but more yelling caused her to turn to the circulatory desk.

"We just want to make sure they're alright!" Tink yelled at the nurse.

"And I've told you unless you're family—"

"We are family!" Tink shot back.

"Enough!" Graham yelled, all but shoving Wendy into the open elevator. "Visiting hours are over. I want you all to go home and I don't want to see you again tonight or so help me I will throw you all in a cell!"

The trio stiffened. Graham had never been this firm before, this…angry.

Tink's eyes met Wendy's. There were so many things they knew they wanted to say, and Wendy was desperate for some kind of comfort.

"I'll bring you some things," Tink said with an uneasy smile.

"Bring them to the station," Graham muttered as he closed the elevator, leaving the trio and Wendy stunned.

The sheriff said nothing to his charge as they traveled to their destination. Wendy knew she was in dire trouble, but she couldn't muster enough fear to truly care. Her mind was too otherwise occupied.

They made to their floor and Wendy stepped out without instruction.

"Just get cleaned up and stay put," he sighed as he opened the door, pausing when he saw that the other occupant was wide awake…

And going through the file he'd left behind.

Wendy gasped at the site of Pan sitting upright in his bed. Just an hour ago she hadn't even been sure he'd ever open his eyes again.

But his eyes were wildly searching through the contents of the file, tearing at the pages with strength he shouldn't have.

"Pan…"

His eyebrows were drawn down in a way that made him confused. He blinked once and finally looked up at her and his expression was utterly unreadable.

That is until he turned to Graham and fire arose in his eyes.

"Is he locked up? Have you told her?" His voice was a bare croak..

Graham came around her and snatched the file from Pan's hands, papers flying about the room.

"You are always…" Graham began with a growl, stopping as his nails tore into the papers in his fingers.

Pan looked between them and at the paper that had flown on the floor. Jekyll's blank face was staring up at her and it was making her nauseous.

But there was something else.

"Have. You. Told. Her!" Pan yelled, his voice breaking from exhaustion.

Graham kept his jaw clenched, is eyes cutting to another series of photos that his officers and pulled from Jones's ship.

Wendy followed his gaze and met the sheriff's, who seemed to beg her not to move, not to think about the situation going on around her.

But she was shaking at this point, terrified and so very confused.

She darted to the photos Graham was staring at, feeling the ghost of his hand grasp at her to stop her, but to no avail.

"Wendy wait—"

But she had one photo turned over, and her blood ran cold.

The faces staring back at her were friendly. Their authentic smile should have comforted her.

But instead they filled her with the most gut-wrenching horror she'd felt to date.

They were the smiles of her parents, her dear mother who never had an unkind word for anyone. Who braved cancer so that her only daughter could seek her own adventure without guilt or burden. Her firm father, who wasn't unkind, but had no patience to try to understand his daughter. Wendy wanted to fix that one day. Her brothers, so young, still coming into their own.

And her. At least, Wendy thought it was. She could barely recognize the girl in the photo, bright eyes and unscarred skin.

It was a picture that, to her knowledge, only existed on her hallway table in her apartment and her parents' mantle at home.

Why was it in one of the boxes that had been on Jones' ship?

"Miss Darling?"

Wendy blinked, the motion slow. The act of lifting her head to look at the Sherriff's face was nearly impossible to do. Her life had been sucked from every cell in her body.

What had she done?

"Miss Darling," Graham repeated. He sounded so far away. Wendy could almost believe he wasn't in the room.

In the distance, a deep grunted cough. And then another until the sound was a constant, frightening hum.

Graham vanished from her view in a flash and she heard his voice burst.

"Pan! Nurse, get in here!"

Wendy found the strength to turn her head.

Pan was bouncing up and down on the bed, mouth agaped, gasping for air that wouldn't come.

"Whale!" Graham screamed as he tried to stabilize Pan.

A broken sound left her throat. Not Pan. Not now.

"Don't …" she croaked, collapsing miserably as struggled to lift herself to her knees.

Don't go.

"Get her—"

What had she done?

"Away!"

Then…

Shifting.

She couldn't see Pan any more. She'd been pulled into a separate part of the room, a thick curtain drawn to obscure him from her view.

But the noise was all too clear.

"P—P—"

"Get Whale in here now!"

Wendy's voice cracked and she has to use both hands to block out her sobbing.

What had she done?

A shift.

Like waves.

The light had changed both inside and outside the room. It must be night now.

On a ship.

Wendy sat up from her hard hospital bed, the curtain drawn around her making her feel more closed in. Suffocated.

The only relief was the thing line separating the curtain from the wall, giving her the barest glimpse of the rest of the room.

The sounds of the hospital's machines lulled her into an outward sense of calm. On the inside however, her blood was crawling.

Hours seemed to pass as she watched the minimum activity occur from that slit. Nurses checking Pan's vitals, checking his monitor. He didn't move once.

"He almost died," once nurse whispered.

"Him?" the other gasped, looking hurriedly back and forth between the comatose boy and her workmate. "Unbelievable! Of all the times he's been in this hospital…"

They blessedly left her alone.

Even if they had looked in to check on her, she wouldn't have been able to reply or cooperate. The shock of the last day had left her numb, incapable of feeling anything but the weight of her mistakes.

It was heavier each time she saw the tense rise and fall of Pan's chest as oxygen was manually pumped into his body by machines. In the way the tube down his throat shook on occasion.

This was the stillest she'd ever seen the wild boy. It was unnerving, like a lucid nightmare.

"Please, open your eyes."

Heal this scar on my heart.

His silence did allow her to think, however.

Her family was in some kind of apparent danger. Why would Jones have a photo of them? What had she or Pan done to make them targets?

She wondered if Graham had notified them or at least the authorities in London. Were they safe? Were they—

No. She couldn't think that. If Jones let her live, certainly he'd exchange the same curtesy to her parents and two underage boys, right?

Wendy slowly sat up, letting blood flow more evenly to her as she urged adrenaline to return. She couldn't just lie here. She couldn't risk her family not knowing they could be in danger.

She eased her legs off the side of the bed carefully, both for balance sake and caution. The nurses would very well tie her to the bed if they saw her walking around. And she had the suspicion that Graham was ready to throw her in a jail cell for the trouble she'd caused.

She was formulating a half-hazard plan in her groggy mind, and it would take someone more diabolical than she to help her optimize it.

She had to get to her family.

Her bag and clothes were laid out neatly on the counter between her and Pan's bed. She grabbed her bag and hugged it to her chest as she slid down to the foot of her bed, trying to stay out of sight from the roaming nurses outside. She breathed in relief as she found her cellphone. 20%. That was enough to make the call she needed.

She hands shook as she dialed the appropriate numbers to make a long-distance call to London and waited to hear her mother's gentle greeting or even her father's more gruff one.

A click.

"Mother?"

We're sorry, we cannot connect this call. Your service is out of bound. Hang up and –

"Damn it!" Wendy shouted, gaining just enough composure to quiet down before a nurse showed up.

Her mind raced like the wind during a sea storm, all her ideas scattered like the remains of a wrecked ship.

Then suddenly, a glimpse of clarity. The eye of the storm.

The eye of the devil himself.

Wendy readied her cell phone to make another call.

No, not to Tink or Felix, or even Lily or August. Too risky. They needed to be here for Pan.

No, she needed someone darker, someone who didn't have anyone else to lose.

She grimaced when she felt the crumpled up business card at the bottom of her bag. For a split second, she hoped it wasn't the one she was looking for, but of course it was.

She gripped it tightly in her clasped hands, hesitatingly heavily. She glanced at Pan's unconscious form, wishing desperately that he would open his eyes and talk her out of what she was about to do. Yell at her. Call her names. Anything.

But he was comatose because of her. She had no right to hurt him anymore.

She took a deep breath and checked once more that there wasn't a nurse coming dialed in the number on the card, hoping they wouldn't answer. It was late after all. Well past business hours—

"Gold's Pawnshop."

Wendy closed her eyes, feeling a nauseous sense of regret hit her.

"Hello?" The voice on the other line inquired more aggressively.

"M-Mr. Gold," Wendy finally spoke just when she thought he would hung up. "It's…It's Wendy Darling."

The pause that followed sounded like the silence after a car crash, when a survivor was still trying to determine if they had survived or not.

When Wendy heard the haunting chuckle that followed her greeting, she was more than certain that at one point in the last few days she must have died.

She was entering the lowest level of hell.

"Miss Darling," Gold spoke. Wendy could picture the large grin spreading over his sharp face. "What can I do for you?"

Wendy fussed with the card in her hand, the silky cardstock a scalding coal in palm.

"I need your assistance getting out of Storybrooke, preferably in the next hour,"

"Does the Mirror not pay you vacation time, Miss Darling?"

Wendy clenched her teeth. "Please, stop."

She hadn't meant the words to come out as a choked sob, but the stress from the last few days were weighing her down fast and she no longer had the ability to hold up her control.

Gold seemed to sense her distress and cut to the chase.

"What's happened?"

"I…I…I can't…" Wendy slipped down the wall, clutching the phone for dear life. "It's complicated, but I got involved with someone who has put everyone I care about in danger."

"Is this about Pan's disappearance?" Gold questioned evenly, even the barest hint of concern absent from his voice.

Wendy decided not to focus on that, knew she'd say something that would end their conversation abruptly is she did.

"It's more about the person who caused his disappearance, partially I mean," she tugged on the edges of her hair nervously. "Bottom line, he's done with Pan and Storybrooke, I think, but my family in London might be next on his list."

Gold remained quiet as Wendy summed up the details from the last few hours, not pressing for any unnecessary details.

"I know it's asking for a lot very quickly, but …" Wendy allowed herself to trail off, not having the strength or the mentality to press on. He knew what she needed, he didn't need the sob story.

"It's quite the request indeed," he commented. Wendy could heard the wickedness rise once more in his voice. "But I accept, but I need something from you first."

"I have every intention of paying you back."

"Not's hardly a concern of mine, Miss Darling," he said. "What I need from you is something a bit more personal."

Wendy gripped the phone tightly. Wendy hadn't thought she'd underestimated him this entire time. She'd seen the darkness in his eyes, saw it in his cold, calculating smile.

She thought briefly of Belle, recalled the gentle way she heard him speak to her at the hospital. Had that been a farce, or had he simply pulled down his mask long enough to appear human. At the time of the young woman's rescue, Wendy wondered if perhaps Gold would recall Wendy's part in saving her and call them even.

"What is it?" she asked, accepting her fate.

He was quite for a moment, but the words he spoke next chilled her.

"I need you to tell me how much you need my help,"

Wendy blinked, generally unsure just what he meant.

"Pardon?"

His cold chuckle followed.

"I know how to recognize a desperate soul, and you are by far the most desperate one I've met to date."

Wendy shook her head, unable to fully comprehend what he was asking of her.

"What…I…I…"

"And I want you ask yourself why that is," he continued.

Those final words hit her like a bucket of ice. Every faux decision she'd made in the last few weeks.

She hadn't meant to hurt anyone. Hadn't ever wanted to. It just happened, and she inadvertently isolated herself from anyone who cared for her.

She looked at Pan's unconscious form once more. It was easy to blame him. He'd twisted every decent thing she'd tried to accomplish. He burned everything he touched.

But she'd made her own choices. She chose to allow him in her life and kept him too close. He'd gotten hurt in the process.

In a way, he would have been better off if she had cut him out.

"This is my price, Miss Darling," he said. "You may take it, or we can part, and we'll speak nothing more of this conversation.

"Fine. I need your help. I…I really need your help."

"Because?"

A hot tear ran down her cheek. It felt like the barest of defeat.

"I'm…"

All.

Alone.

"I'm desperate."

She heard the lightest hum as his response. It was almost a gluttonal sound. She wasn't sure how she would have reacted if she'd heard him laugh.

"Very good, Miss Darling," he said at last. Wendy managed to keep her chin from wobbling.

"Now, I need you to follow my next instructions very carefully. Are you able to leave the hospital?"

Wendy straightened up. Her family. She had to leave.

"I can try, but there's nurses everywhere. I think Sheriff Graham has me on some kind of unspoken lockdown."

Gold hummed once more, this one more calculating than gratified.

"I'll handle him. Now Miss Darling, I want you to dress and gather what you have with you and be ready to leave. When I hang up, I need you to wait exactly 15 minutes. Exactly that, do you understand?"

"Yes." Wendy replied half-heartedly.

"Good. When you're 15 minutes start, you'll make your way down the hospital stairs. Under no circumstances are you to go near the elevators."

"Cameras." Wendy concluded.

"Very good," he praised, though the comment had the weight of an insult.

"Then, when you come out on the first floor, you're going to take a left until you get to the west wing, the one adjacent to the children's ward, do you recall?"

Wendy felt her entire body tense.

The darkness. The smell of mold. Belle's wile, blue eyes.

That horrid man's hands around her neck.

"No." she said definitively. "I can't go through there. I won't."

"Yes you will." Gold said firmly.

"There's another way, there has to be," Wendy pled. How was it that she'd been in this hospital so many damn times but hadn't learned the exit routes?

"Just maybe there is, but do you really want to waste time exploring those options?"

Wendy seethed. "You're doing this on purpose. You're sick!"

She was greeted with a humorless chuckle. "I'm many things, Miss Darling, but right now I'm the one person in the world who could help you."

That's not so, Wendy wanted to say, but she dared not bring Felix or Tink or even August into this. This man seemed to gain power over anyone who gave him their name.

"Then what?" She croaked.

Why are you doing this? I helped you.

"You'll vacate the ward and you'll continue along the wall of the west wing until you come across an overgrown parking lot about a quarter of mile past the hospital. There's an overgrown courtyard you must go through. A man by the name of Mr. Dove will be there waiting for you with a car. You'll go with him and he'll escort you to Boston. By the time you reach there, a one-way ticket should be awaiting you."

The term 'one-way' perked Wendy's attention. Did he think she made no plans to return? Did she at this point?

"Is all that agreeable?"

Wendy hesitated. What was waiting for her if she returned? Scorned friends who were better off without her? An unstable job she was more than certain she was fired from at this point? A jail sentence?

She glanced at Pan, unconscious and oddly peaceful-looking.

"Yes," Wendy answered. "I'll meet him there."

"Very good," Gold said. "Fifteen minutes, Miss Darling."

"Yes." Wendy agreed, ready to hang up.

"Oh, and Miss Darling?"

Wendy flinched, begrudgingly lifting the phone to her ear.

"Yes?"

"Such a pleasure hearing from you again."

He hung up before she could respond, leaving her in blessedly silent quiet.

She sat there for a moment more, trying to decide exactly what consequences she'd see for making a deal with a shark like Mr. Gold. It couldn't be any worse than the rawness in her soul.

She wiped her face. She couldn't think about that now, couldn't focus on anything but getting to her family.

Fifteen minutes. Exactly fifteen minutes.

She began to move, gathering what little she had with her and changing, her stomach lurching at every sound. She eyed the door as she finished, hearing the distance taps of nurses shoes go back and forth.

She silenced her phone, ready to leave, but the site of Pan's still form from the corner of her eye caused her to pause.

She lowered her head in a sense of shame, each beep of his heart monitor stabbing at her.

He didn't respond when she stood over him, her hand's hovering above his form, unsure of where to go.

Ten minutes.

Wasn't there evidence that comatose patience could sense the outward world? Hear, smell and even imagine everything around them?

Looking at him, Wendy had to doubt that theory. He was so still. So unlike the every-moving wild boy who brought so much chaos in and out of her life.

Wendy grazed her fingers over his hand where the IV pumped life into his veins.

The nurses said his dehydration had led to a severe kidney infection. He had just narrowly missed full organ failure by a day.

"Pan," she whispered. "I…I'm sorry for everything. For my part in hurting you. For not seeing Jones for what he was."

Of course she received no reply. In a way she was thankful for that. If he was awake, would he talk her out of this? Try to be some sort of voice of reason? Or would he encourage this dangerous and wayward idea?

Five minutes left.

She continued to graze his skin, counting every second until she could move.

Why did Gold give her such a specific time limit?

"You never really told me about him." she said to Pan. "You didn't tell me how dark he really was."

Wendy found the gal to turn her hand and grip his hand.

"What else did he do to you Pan? Why do you hate him so much?"

Pan's hand flinched under hers.

She would have thought the scream that followed next was his if it wasn't for the flashing lights above her head.

Times up.

Wendy stilled as chaos erupted outside, nurses yelling, running back and forth trying to make sense of what was going on.

But she knew. It was time to go.

"I'm sorry," she said hastily to Pan, missing how his fingers curled inward—trying to stop her.

Wendy stuck her head carefully from the room, having to squint through the flashing red light that bathed the upper level of Storybrooke Hospital. The alarm had summoned all the nurses and the security guards to it, giving her a chance to escape unseen.

She took a deep breath and made a beeline for the stairs that would get her on the first floor.

Her ears were ringing and her vision was blurring from the aggressive lights. Coupled with her exhaustion, it was almost enough to make her pass out. She kept losing her grip on the stair railing and had to claw at the wall to keep from barreling down.

She paused when she saw the dingy, dented door that led to the forbidden ward. It was her only exit, the quickest way to get to her family and ensure their safety.

It was ridiculous to be afraid. Sheriff Graham had looked the place up and down. There was no one in there now. It was empty and dead.

But in Wendy's mind, they were still in there.

Suddenly, the alarm stopped, the agonizing red siren paused, bathing the hospital in the sickening white light. It was now or never. She inhaled sharply and ripped open the door, the dank air sucking her in. Trapping her in as she slammed the door behind her.

Wendy squinted into the dark gray hallway, trying to control her breathing, listening intently to every sound the dank ward had to offer.

She had a ride waiting for her, that's what Mr. Gold said. They'd leave, and then she'd truly be lost. She had to move. She had to move.

She kept her palms on the wall, her hands shaking as she crept carefully down the hall.

"There's nothing here," Wendy whispered to herself. "I'm alone here, I just need to get to the exit…I just need to get out."

Her grip on the wall became more frantic as she ventured further, the hallway advancing into a darkness she'd only see in the depths of her dreams.

The space around was beginning to feel more dream-like, as if she were walking through an inky cloud, surrounded by thick air that threatened to evaporate at any moment.

Dropping her to a slow, expected death.

As the pressure changed, so did Wendy's vision. Burst of reds and greens flashed before her, overstimulating her shaken mind. She began to get disoriented, fearful that she'd gotten lost and she would never find the exit. There was no light, nothing to lead her out.

But then, a shift. A flicker of icy wind licked her cheek.

And something swiped at her hair.

Wendy shot forward, the scream stuck in the depths of her throat shooting upwards to her brain.

No no no no no no no no.

She had to leave, whether out a new exit or to her death she didn't care.

She kept running into the darkness, anemic lines of right becoming more prominent, revealing she was closer to freedom.

Or perhaps it was her own mind singing its desperation for escape.

There was no door, no natural means of escape. The hallway only seemed to get longer.

As full-blown panic began to morph into sheer delusion, instinct kicked in. Wendy searched for the source of the scarce light until she found a filthy window. She used her sleeves to wipe it frantically, her fingers outlining the trees she could just see in the distance.

She pushed at it, trying frantically to get it open as her desperation rose.

A long bead of sweat dove down her spine, her arms shaking from the excursion.

"Let me out!" she yelled, slamming her hand on the window until it was caked with a thick layer of dirt and dust.

"Please," she gasped as she began to beat on the glass again. Her only escape. "NOW!"

Wendy's palm burst through the glass, the crisp icy air embodying her freedom. She felt the blood before she felt the sting of the shards breaking into her skin but she continued to push and punch to get out of the forbidden wing.

With a final burst of adrenaline, she grabbed the edges of the window and pulled herself through the narrow space, the surrounding shrubbery scratching at her skin.

Her hips were just barely able to get through, and Wendy was certain she could feel something pulling at her ankles, trying to pull her back into the dark.

She clawed at the out wall for extra leverage, giving her just what she need to squeeze out of the window and hit the hard ground.

Wendy crawled as quickly as she could from the building, flipping onto her back to defend herself against the thing that had been lurking in the ward.

But she was met with nothing but darkness and blissful quiet. Whatever phantom that had plagued her has simply vanished.

Wendy took in a shaky breath, piecing her thoughts together bit by bit.

She had escaped the hospital, though the commotion she just made would no doubt garner unwanted attention. She had to keep moving. She had to get to her family.

She sighed and began to stand, shrieking when a piercing pain erupted though her right hand, arm and hip. She looked down in horror and saw flakes of glass sticking out of her limbs, the testament to her escape. She couldn't even flex her fingers. Each time the glass would stab at her damaged hands.

Wendy's frustration finally boiled over and she let out a great scream, one worthy of a cryptid.

"FUCK!" she yelled as loud as she could, a sharp sob breaking through her throat. For several moments she couldn't stop sobbing, couldn't be brave anymore.

The last few months had been pure Hell and she had taken all the hits, numbed herself to the consequences in an attempt to move forward. But it wasn't just her psyche that took a dive this time. It was her heart and her spirit. Killian Jones had shown her the first bout of affection she's truly felt in weeks, made her feel more human that the soulless heap she'd felt like. Pan had long damaged her spirit, but she'd nearly lost her heart completely when she saw him in that hospital room. On death's door because of her.

Now her family—her parents and dear brothers—could be in the same state because she didn't have the gall to pull the trigger on Jones. What if he was there already? Could she do it this time?

She'd never find out if she stayed here sobbing in the dirt, she decided. She wiped her eyes, taking in several calming breaths. Yeah, she'd made some misguided decisions lately, but she had the chance to at least amend one. She'd made a deal with the devil to get to London and she had to go through with it, even if she had to face Graham's wrath when she returned.

She stood with a grimace, hissing as blood ran down her arms and legs, and began limping towards the aforementioned courtyard that modeled yet another maze of horrors. But, with the thought that she was yet another step closer to getting to her family before Jones did, she limped bravely into the weave of dead vines and branches.

She began to look back at the space she just left – wanted to catch a glimpse of the monsters who forced her through that beacon of hell—but decided against it as tears began to well into her eyes.

She'd had enough of that place.

The moon acted as Wendy's only guide and only light source save a few illegally dimmed streetlights. She pulled and fought of dead thorns as she moved closer to what she could make out as a black sea.

Wendy stumbled through the rest of the shrubbery. A glance behind her proved she's put in a good half mile from the hospital—which had otherwise been silent following her escape.

Knowing her time was still extremely limited, she search around quickly to spot an older-fashioned car and a notably tall man standing at its rear.

Wendy approached the two cautiously, both throbbing limbs and paranoid suspicion bubbling through her. This could easily be a trap from Gold—a diabolical and brutally cruel scenario to tease her exhausted mind. It would surely incriminate her to a tee. She'd be sitting in Sheriff Graham's jail for the rest of her life.

But she had everything to lose, so she paused at the car, several feet from the large man.

Wendy cleared her dry throat—vaguely tasting dust—and coughed out a greeting to the man. He turned around effortlessly, his eyes evaluating her with a calm and potently disinterested scowl.

"Mr…bird?" Wendy coughed.

"Dove, actually," the man returned with a curt nod, his tone more softer than his appearance had previewed. "Miss Darling, I presume."

Wendy felt a twinge of relief, nodding.

Mr. Dove nodded and stepped around the car—oddly seeming smaller not that he was closer to Wendy. He opened the back passenger door and waved Wendy to it.

"We haven't much time, so I'm afraid we'll have to go straight to the Boston Airport,"

Wendy tensed. "We can't stop by my apartment quickly? I'm sorry, but I have to grab my cellphone charger, not to mention my passport—"

Mr. Dove moved slightly, holding out a shoulder bag thick with items.

"Mr. Gold had me gather the proper documentation. I'm afraid you'll have to figure out your toiletries in your own time."

Wendy's face paled, an unfortunate image of this perfect stranger filtering through her intimate belongings but accepted the bag quickly.

"I guess this is it," Wendy sighed, feeling a strange emptiness weigh her.

"Yes," Dove answered. "If you'll please—"

The irritating sound of a revved engine spearing towards them caused Wendy and Mr. Dove both to pause. Both shot towards the reverberating sound as a pair of headlights beamed closer to them.

Wendy sucked in a breath. If it was Graham, she was done for!

Mr. Dove tensed beside him and Wendy gasped when his hand drew into his oversized coat for what must have been a weapon.

The car – a pea-green Voltzwagon Bug – came to a screeching halt in front of them, its owner stepping out with a growl.

"Tink!" Wendy gasped.

"Miss Le Bell?"

Tink burst out of her pea-green bug, the door slamming so hard behind her Wendy feared the sound echoed into the hospital.

The blond woman glared back before her Wendy and the excessively tall man who seemed to know her.

She stopped in front of them, hands on her hips, and they both seemed to shrink under her sharp gaze.

"I knew it," Tink said, the words like acid. "I felt it in my bones. Something is wrong and you're working with…"

"It's not what you think!" Wendy jumped in.

Tink gave her an incredulous look and turned her ire back towards the excessively tall man before them.

"Mr. Dove," Tink said as a form of greeting. "Please?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Le Bell," Dove spoke evenly. "This is between Miss Darling and Mr. Gold."

"Well now it's between her and me," Tink said, stepping around to the passenger side of her car. She opened her door, begging Wendy's cooperation with her eyes.

"Wendy, please get in."

"I can't," Wendy said, though she was itching to get into Tink's warm and familiar BMW than Gold's cold and ominous Cadillac.

"Wendy, whatever's going on, whatever you did or what you're running from, associating with Mr. Gold is not the way to fix your problem," Tink said.

"I don't have a choice," Wendy said simply. "I don't have time to explain, and I know I have no right asking you for anything…" she swallowed guiltily. "Please Tink, don't say anything and don't try to stop me."

Tink shook her head. "Wendy, let me help you. Gold is the last person you can trust. The second you accept something from him, your deal never ends. Whatever's happened to you, it's not worth chaining yourself to him."

"It is if it keeps my friends and family safe," Wendy countered before frowning. "Family, I mean."

Tink sighed. "Wendy, what happened between me and Mother Superior, that had nothing to do with you."

"Of course it is!" Wendy said.

"No," Tink said as she shook her head. She bowed it next as the next thought came to her. "It's kind of like Pan said, she had it coming. I hate her lies were exposed the way they were, but in the end, I'm glad it's all over with. Yes, I'm angry, but I'm ready to move on, and I am so sorry you got hurt and mixed up with this."

Wendy struggled not to cave. Tink wouldn't dare try to use mental manipulation with her, but this still stalled her even if her words seemed sincere.

"I…" Wendy gulped, too many thoughts swarming her senses.

"I…I can't do this now," Wendy cried. "I have to go."

"Where are you going? What's going on Wendy, let me help you!"

"I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me! Please Tink, let me handle this."

"Not like this," Tink said firmly, turning her sharp gaze to Dove. "Where are you taking her? I'll take her there."

"Tink, no—" Wendy begged.

"Don't be like Pan, Wendy," Tink yelled. Wendy stiffened. "Don't push everyone away when things become too much! You have people who care about you! Let them help you. Whatever's happened, don't go at it alone."

Wendy stared at her former friend. How could one person be so sure when everything was falling around them? Was Tink right? Was she doing what Pan would do and push people away? He did do that, but there were moments when she could feel that all he wanted was to reach out. However, he disguised this need with cruelty, either due to a lack of compassion or a fear of intimacy she had yet to discover..

And now Wendy was doing the same thing.

You're just as filthy and selfish as he is.

Even though she wanted to protect Tink, she also didn't want to leave Storybrooke with a complete stranger.

Wendy turned to Dove, who was still watching their interaction quietly.

"I'd like to go with her, please,"

Dove nodded. "I can't stop you, but I will have to alert Mr. Gold of this change."

"You may do so," Wendy said, slinging the bag with her passport protectively over her shoulder.

Dove looked down at his watch. "I'd suggest you move quickly then. You're flight for London leave at 4 a.m."

Tink stiffened. "London?"

Wendy looked at her helplessly and Tink didn't press the subject further.

"Boston Airport it is."

Wendy nodded and got into Tink's warm car, putting on her seatbelt as Tink typed the directions in her phone.

Wendy looked at Dove through the rearview mirror as they drove off. He was a still as a statute, and she truly hoped he was more friend than foe. Still, she wondered what the repercussions of her decision would be with Gold. But she couldn't think of that right now. She couldn't think of anything but getting to London.

"Check the glove compartment," Tink said suddenly.

"What?"

Tink took her eyes off the road for a moment to nod at Wendy's hands and legs.

"You're bleeding. I think I have some antiseptic and gauze in my first aid kit. It's in the glove compartment."

"Oh!" Wendy said, the pain creeping back into her limbs. Her hands were blood and dirty as were her jeans. A thick, dry gash stained her entire thigh. Wendy viciously rubbed at the area with Tink's provided wet wipes, biting her lip to keep from hissing at the pain. No doubt she'd need to clean it properly when she reached London. She parents may insist she see a doctor.

Tink remained quiet as they drove but Wendy could sense her tension. Her hands gripped the steering wheel firmly, a hint of white spreading across her knuckles.

"I can't tell you much right now," Wendy said, looking out the window so she wouldn't meet Tink's eyes.

"I figured," she returned. "But…I'm willing to listen. You know that, right?"

Wendy did. And she was more than grateful. But she didn't want her to taint her with her sins. Tink deserved so much better than that.

Thankfully, Tink didn't breach the subject any further and they soon arrived at the airport with ample time to spare.

"Do you want me to walk in with you?" Tink inquired.

"I'm fine, thank you," Wendy said as she opened the door.

"Hold on," Tink said, undoing her seatbelt and turning to search through her back seat. Wendy was surprised when she pulled out one of Wendy's tote back, her cellphone charger poised at the overflowing bag's contents.

"I…"

"Told you I'd bring you some things," Tink finished, giving her a half smile. "I got you Wendy, no matter what."

Wendy hugged the bag closely to her, the familiar scent of her clothing causing tears to well in her eyes. And try as Wendy did, she couldn't stop them from flowing. She was sobbing before she could stop herself, harder than she had even at the hospital.

Tink allowed her a few moments to get started before she leaned in and wrapped her arms around her, allowing her to sob into her shoulder.

"It's okay," Tink said.

As she continued to release her anguish, Wendy thought perhaps she was right. She survived so much so far and Tink's compassion inspired her that she would survive this whole horror story.

She calmed finally, though Tink's comfort did not cease.

It was this comfort that allowed Wendy to believe—truly, truly believe—

She was not alone.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Felix never really knew what to make of August. He knew of his doomed relationship with Pan, knew it was just a bit more serious than some of his other trysts, but ultimately didn't survive Pan's chaotic mood and lifestyle.

Frankly, he wasn't fond of August. He hated how he'd hurt his father over and over again. Hated how casually he lived with the things he did.

But, he decided as they walked to Pan and Wendy's shared room, he had to have some decency if he went through all they had the last few days for Pan's sake. Pity his fondness was one-sided.

They entered the room the nurse below gave them, squinting in the black to see two empty and unmade beds.

"Maybe we're in the wrong room?"

Felix knew good and well they weren't. August knew it as well, but admitting to the sight before them would lead to a whole new wave of trouble.

Pan's bed was empty, his IVs thrown carelessly to the floor.

His window—fully opened—had let in a strangely warm and terrifying breeze in his absence.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Geez, I finally got Pan off that ship … but where is he now?

[chordsykat]

Kloktober 2022 Day 27 - Fave Trope or Guilty Pleasure

The trope: A plot-mandated friendship failure (on multiple fronts but largely in the form of a band breakup) The guilty pleasure: Reading old fanfiction The bonus guilty pleasure: Sparkleface A little of both for you guys, today -- from my old fanfic. :) Art above is equally old, but I feel, quite fitting.

Some spoilery things in here if you haven't gotten to read Dethkomic to its current update. Too, this one takes place towards the very end of my very, very, stupidly long series. The girls live in an off-Mordhaus mansion called Kirsche Hall and have a ridiculous manager by the name of Jenna Syde in this one. Those things, along with a lot of what I wrote 10 years ago aren't as canon as they once were, so... maybe this is more like an AU? Maybe an AU of an AU? Honestly I have written these characters in so many forms now, I have no idea which is the real U.

But who cares, eh?! It's MTL and the canon universe is practically bound to get reset anyway. Enjoy!

--- The next morning, Nita Nirvana’s eyes flitted open as her nose recognized a distinct scent she hadn’t been privy to in almost as long as the time she’d spent living in Kirsche Hall: the smell of burnt toast.

More than curious, she pushed the black comforter of her pillow-overloaded mattress aside and got to her feet. Her silk robe was a beautiful ocean of ebony waiting crumpled on the floor next to her bed, and she eased it over her bare shoulders while stepping into a nearby pair of sandals. The scent of burning bread, among other harshly toasted things for sure, was heavier in the air when she walked through her bedroom door and out into the upstairs walkway. Not only that, she could finally hear Sparkles screeching angrily about something, a couple pans clattering around, and the ironically far more calm tone of William Murderface. All of this racket seemed to be centered entirely within the room directly below her - the house’s kitchen. She headed downstairs and, after a brief jaunt through Kirsche Hall’s never-ending dining area, Nita pushed open one of the surgical steel doors to the cook’s quarters. Normally, it was a picture of pristine sterility, but that wasn't the case this morning. Whole bags of flour had been torn open, upended and emptied of their contents which powdered the floor in generous amounts. With them were about three dozen eggs and more than a few gallons of milk. “Gordon Ramsay’s worst kitchen nightmare come to life…” the vocalist said to herself as she tried to find sturdy footing among the far larger spaces of slick surface.

The engineers of said nightmare, Murderface and Sparkles, were easily spotted beyond a jumble of pots, pans, and utensils which, naturally, hung on meat hooks from the ceiling. The duo was stove-side and engaged in a display of fantastic culinary mediocrity. Murderface was putting out a small fire which had sprung up on the corner of the cookbook he was holding while simultaneously ignoring about a dozen more mini-conflagrations going off in the pan before him. Sparkles had apparently been cracking eggs on her forehead. Large portions of yolk and shell smeared across her hairline and trailed down her unkempt bangs as evidence to this. “Awh!” Murderface sputtered, his face falling as he noticed Nita. He put the scorched cookbook down (atop another fire) on the counter. The act, by itself seemed to admit defeat. “We were gonna schurprische you!” Sparkles smiled toothily at Nita before she became distracted by the small fires. She put her hand on one and let it burn her for several seconds before pulling her palm away and hissing at it, then beating the licks of flame into oblivion with her fists. Ever since their joint attempt at a concert in Finland, Dethklok’s bassist had been spending more time at the Baen-Shee homestead, which was to Nita, a bit odd at first. Regardless, his presence had lent itself well to curb the dull sting at the back of everyone’s minds which reminded them all that Eden Nightwish was still in Mordhaus’ hospital, and still not conscious. Murderface was sometimes an opinionated, uncouth lummox with no shortage of bad ideas, but he was always kind at heart and in the very least, entertaining. Nita shot the mustachio’d man a sweet smile, “That’s so thoughtful, you guys!” She paused to look around the room and assess the damage more closely, then - It appeared extensive but salvageable. “Since I’m up, if you wanted to still cook breakfast, I’ll be happy to help. Not like I have anything better to do.” Just as she said that, a Klokateer came through the door and singled Nita out of the crowd immediately, “My lady, your manager wishes to speak with you in her office.” The female bodyguard spoke quickly and nearly slid off her high-heel boots and onto the milk and egg coated ground. When she finally had it together, she added, “It appears to be an urgent matter, majesty.” “Yes, of course.” Nita arched an eyebrow back at her two friends before, very carefully, following the gear out the door, “I’ll be back soon, guys. Keep it hot.” As she was leaving, she caught a glimpse of Sparkles pouring oil onto one of the stove fires. “That schouldn’t be a problem!” Nita heard Murderface yell just before the kitchen doors swung closed behind her. The office of Jenna Syde, Baen-Shee’s manager, wasn’t very far from the kitchen and dining area, so Nita was privy to the sounds of crashing pans and more of Sparkles’ screaming even after she found herself just outside the room’s threshold. Nita knocked timidly, but apparently loud enough to be heard. Jenna threw open the door to her chambers a second later. “Well!” was the first thing said by the offbeat manager-producer as she led Nita inside with a silly grin plastered on her face, “We’re a complete failure! Can you believe that?” “What?” Nita said, stumbling at those words in her march alongside Jenna to her desk. “What do you mean by that..?”

Jenna circled around to her chair, propped her thick boots on the fine cherry wood of her desktop and knocked over three recently emptied bottles of what must have been her breakfast beer in the process, “I mean Baen-Shee isn’t selling… and this last concert fiasco, since it was all a big hoax anyway, only put us further under…” Nita shook her head in disbelief as she sat down in the big leather chair. “Wait - hold on. Nobody’s picking us up now?” Her lips remained half-parted after she asked the question, and she could feel a hitch forming in the back of her throat. “Afraid not, kiddo.” Jenna said, picking up a stack of papers, “When the band went on hiatus the first time after Cherry passed away, there was risk signing you. Now Eden’s in the hospital and people assume there’s going to be another long wait before we get this thing back on the road again. Venues don’t like doing business with bands that are only half-together, no matter how good that one half may be.”

“Well, we can find another guitarist if we have to… we did before…” Nita wanted to bite her tongue. The idea squeezed at her heart for so many reasons. The thought of Eden not playing with them was made all the more bitter by the realization that it would only happen should the unthinkable come to pass, and the girl died. Nita wasn’t sure she could handle losing two band mates in the short course of one years’ time. “It’s worse than that, honey.” Jenna ducked down momentarily to grab another beer from the mini-fridge under her desk, “Caj is gone again.” “WHAT?” This news nearly drove Nita to an immediate breakdown… and simultaneous rage. “The guard who was on perimeter duty last night told us he saw her leaving. Naturally, you’re all free to come and go as you please, so he didn’t stop her. He gave us this…” Jenna pushed a piece of paper - obviously crumpled and then unfolded again, toward Nita’s side of the desk. The girl picked it up and her eyes immediately set to work devouring each word. She didn’t expect the story told by the meager little parchment, though, and the closer she came to the end, the further her eyelids drooped and her expression turned more pained. “I… never knew… she never told me about…” “She didn’t tell anyone!” Jenna interrupted with what almost came off as an appreciative snicker, “I almost think it’s a stunt. That PR nightmare from last week of hers…” Nita was on the defensive, then, crumpling the letter anew, “You think she faked this note and made up a crazy story so she could go AWOL again, just because she got into a little hot water over a leaked video? Honestly, Jenna!” The manager took a hefty swig from her bottle of Budweiser before continuing, “What I’m sayin’, kiddo, is that I don’t know enough about The Great Dane, and her associated band of closet-skeletons to honestly tell concert promoters that we’ll be right back to square one in no time. That’s my good name going down, there. Not yours, not Caj’s, not Baen-Shee’s. Mine” To stamp some finality on her words, Jenna then let out a loud belch that likely would have impressed even Nathan Explosion had he been present.

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this…” Nita said, rubbing two circles around either side of her head. “Well, it’s just the business, babe. I wouldn’t worry about it. You were a respectable household name before this whole thing started, anyway. Besides, you’ve already had one offer…” “What? Who?” “Hah! Rikki Kixx!” Nita’s throat clenched, “You’re joking.” And she hoped Jenna was, though her hands stopped moving around her temples, then.

[dowhatisaynotwhatido]

4. Article - Final statement

Paring: Bea / Ina

Warning: angst

Description: part 6 of The article series. The article finally gets to its conclusion and it is not the one they both expected

Word count: 783

Ina woke up to an empty bed and a full set of new muscular pains after yesterday. She went through her morning routine thinking about last night and Bea, until she sitted with her coffee across the black envelop.

•What the hell?• Ina thought after opening the Conclusion envelop and finding a single page with several Yes or no questions.

•Am I suppose to answer this? I though the tests were over"

/Text/

(I) are you trying to make me work for you?

(B)???

(I) the author is suppose to conclude their own article, haven't you learnt that yet?

(B) Well, unfortunately I can conclude this for you, can I? If I could choose for you, I wouldn't need to do the article in the first place.

(I) Beg your pardon?

(B) I need to go. The plane is leaving. You have 5 hours to answer it. I expect a text after that.

/text/

•so commanding, humm. I liked that. Little does she know that she wouldn't be commanding shit if we were envolved•

Ina sat down with her coffee and toast.

"Mark true or false to the following statements:

( ) Exhibit A seems to have a more than professional feeling towards index case

• who am I to deny it after yesterday•

( ) Exhibit A shows signs of overprotectiveness and care towards index case

• Yes. I won't let anything happen to you•

( ) Exhibit A sh...(...)"

and that went on for over 27 questions. Until the last one:

"( ) the whole society notion of need to overprotect the so believed "weaker link" in a relationship is out of date, respecting the consent logic. Therefore, the relationship between a Professor and a Student is NOT antietical if limits were to be preserved."

• you may have a point there, Bea. But the world isn't ready for it"

"Are you willing to give it a chance?

( ) Yes ( ) No"

• how could I answer this? She could be expelled, I could lose my job. Fuck, what would the academy say! Wouldn't she receive any retaliation? Wouldn't I? Could we keep it a secret for 1 more year? Then she would go to uni and we wouldn't be professor and TA anymore. Can't we wait? No. I can't ask her to wait for me.•

"But can I lose her?" Ina stared blankly through the window

*****

A few days later in Lilian's house, Ina was getting her sister uptodate in the Bea's front.

- " I don't know why are you so surprise about the conclusion. It was clear as day to me." Lilian said as taking a sip of her coffee

- how do you mean?

- "You can stop talking about her and you can't stop smilling when you talk about her. You have been under her spell for months now. You should have known that."

- "Yes, I knew I was attracted to her. She is the smartest, persistent, beautiful, hot and caring person that I know. But I did not know that I actually loved her!" Ina sighted as she paced the room running a hand through her hair

- "wait, what? You love her?" Lilian almost spilled her drink as

Ina continued her rambling in lighting speed

-"well, but it was a false study nonetheless. Because as much as she proved that I had feelings for her, she failed to convince me that we could be together!"

- "Oh, stop that self-righteous act, Ina! For crying out loud, that woman is perfect for you, and you are going to lose her over some out of date prejudice!"

- "she is my student, Lilian!" Ina shouted

- "If this bothers you so much, drop your freaking job and don't let her go, goddammit. It is like seeing Newton throwing away the freaking apple!"

- "I cannot do that, Lil. My job is my life. I worked so hard for this." Ina's eyes were full of tears and her voice was failing

- "and you will work hard to find another one, Ina. Don't lose her"

Ina sited in the couch with her head in her hands and started crying

-"I already did, Lil.".

-"What? Why? Wasn't all this like last Sunday?" Lilian asked sitting next to her in the couch

-"After I missed the 5 hours deadline, she emailed me her letter of resignation as my TA. She hasn't been in any of my classes since then"

-"So go after her!! Text her, go to her dorm, make a freaking Taylor Swift serenate for all I care. Don't throw her away..."

-"She is better off, Lil. And that is the end of this".

[leelei1980]

Part 27- Beauty and the Freak

Last day of School

Eddie

I had dreamed of this day for years now, where I finally get to say goodbye to this motherfucking school once and for all. I know it is my own fault that I am still here, I'll own that shit , but it feels like a lead weight has been taken off my shoulders . I never have to walk these hallways again, I'll never have to hide in the bathroom stalls from jocks again, and I'll never be sent to the principals office ever again. I'm fucking graduating, 86 baby, it was my year. The best year of my life.

" I cant believe this is it. This is really it." Robin leaned up against the locker beside me as I opened mine up for the final time to empty out its contents. There wasn't a lot inside, mostly just notes and jokes from the guys, old assignments and tests and drawings, nothing of value, well except for the 'Munsons Slut ' sign that Chrissy Cunningham made and hung on Veronica's locker .Ronnie then drew a heart and a Rooster on stating that she loves my cock, it was brilliant and she never got in trouble for it because she never wrote out the word cock. It was fucking epic and a true work of art. I kept it taped up on my locker door.

" This is a keeper." I smirked and turned to Ronnie and she smiled.

" Some of my best work. Chrissy loved it." She slid an arm around my waist." I can't believe it's our last day . It went so fast."

" This year, yes, my high school career, not so much."

"  That's because you are a Super Senior !" Robin laughed.

I wadded up a piece of paper and threw it at her." Ass."

" Us Asses need to stick together."

I pulled the last of the locker contents out and jammed it in my backpack. "That it." I slammed the door closed making Robin jump. " Not going to miss this place at all."

" I am." Veronica sighed. " Ms. O'Donnells room where we first met,the band room where Rob and I first met, the library where we would study together, the gymnasium where I caught Eddie Munson at a Pep Rally! The auditorium where we performed together, the drama room where we, uh , also performed together-"

I smiled and watched as Robin looked at us confused. " You guys didn't take drama?"

"No we didn't,"

" Then what we're you doing in the drama room?"

" Hellfire Club."

Robin raised her eyebrows." You played D&D?"

" No, we had sex on the throne in the drama room after D&D."

Robin's jaw dropped. " You had sex here at school? Holy Shit!"

" Dustin almost busted us. He forgot his backpack and tried to open the door." I laughed." He told me we tainted the room. You, " I pointed at Veronica, " Fucking bailed on me."

She laughed. " What else was I supposed to do? Why yes Dusty buns, I just screwed your Dungeon Master. I am the one that is supposed to set a good example."

" It was your idea!"

" I know! "

Robin just shook her head and smirked." Jesus Christ you guys, anywhere else in the school?"

"  Oh god no, that was just a one time thing."

" We could do it again for old times sake." I smiled down at her.

" We are not going to do anything that would put you at risk for not graduating."

" Are you really going to flip the principal off at Graduation?" Robin asked eyebrows raised.

" As much as I would fucking love to, I feel like it would embarrass Wayne. That man has put up with enough of my shit over the years that I feel like I owe it to him to behave myself. So no, I won't flip him the bird as I get my diploma, I will however fully flip him off ,double birds, at the end of the commencement ceremony when the diploma is clenched in my hand. Then I am making a break for it, I will fucking army crawl off that football field if I have to."

" You are not, your going to stand three seats down from me and we are going to throw our hats up in the air!" Ronnie smiled.

" I'll be the first one to walk across the stage. Then Montgomery, Munson and Wheeler. So unreal." Robin shook her head.” Nancy is working on a special edition of the school newspaper as we speak.It’s going to have everyone’s picture in it, there are going to be pictures from the talent show and the pep rally, homecoming, prom and everything!”

“ That will be awesome, can’t wait to see it. Eddie, your going to be in the school newspaper!”

“Oh great, I can’t wait to put it in my scrapbook!” I smirked.

“ Your such a smart ass.” She rolled her eyes and smiled.

“ Your the smartest ass, you are the one giving the speech.”

" I know,I'm so nervous ."

" Your going to knock it out of the park Sweetheart." I kissed the top of her head.

Just then the bell rang and it was time for our last lunch at the Hellfire table.

We were the first to arrive so we took our seats, then as the crowd trickled in we saw Dustin and Mike , Jeff , Gareth, and Scotty stand in the lunch line. We waved at them then pulled our lunches out of our bags. I plopped my baggie of pretzels and soda down on the table and Veronica pulled out an apple and a Peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich.

" Here Ed's, let's share." She handed me half. I took it from her and the three of us ate in silence, lost in our thoughts.

" Holy shit guys," Dustin sat down next to Robin with his tray." Can you believe it? Our last lunch together. I am feeling a little emotional right now."

I leaned over and gave his shoulder a squeeze. " Your the future of Hellfire,Henderson. You and , Lucas ,Mike and Gareth, your left in charge of finding the outcast, the lost little sheepies and taking them under you wing, just like I did with you. I took a chance on a kid wearing a Weird Al T-shirt and now that kid is getting ready to take over as Dungeon Master. I am proud of you."

" Don't say that shit to me right now Eddie, I can't even think about it. You guys are all going to be leaving, starting new lives, we will be stuck here , in Hawkins, with Steve."

" Well at least you will still have someone here to look out for you and cart your asses around."

" I'm not going to be far." Robin pat his head. " It will be alright."

Mike and Jeff sat down , shortly followed by Gareth and Scotty.

" What's wrong Henderson." Gareth asked noticing that his younger friend was looking a little sullen.

" It's our last lunch together." I answered for Dustin. " He's feeling a little emotional about it. "

" It's alright Henderson, we still have a summers worth of D&D before it is over. You will be fully prepared for DM by the time we all leave." Jeff reassured.

" Your the only one I trust with that title."

" I'm offended ." Mike dropped his fork.

" Are you kidding me right now Wheeler? " I smirked. "You have been at this table a total of 5 minutes and you have already looked over at MY girlfriends boobs like seven times. You are way too distracted. You need to focus."

" It's not my fault, " he looked down at his tray and poked at his food." She's so cute I can't concentrate when she is around. She won't be here anymore so you don't have to worry."

Ronnie's eyes softened and she stuck out her bottom lip. " Awww! Wheeler, are you going to miss me?" She got up and walked over to him and gave him a hug from behind and a kiss on the cheek. Instantly his face got red, he probably had a boner under the table from her breasts squashing up against his back and warm lips on his cheek. I think he did it on purpose. He knows Ronnie is a hugger and he reeled her right in.

" Yeah, we still have the summer. Plenty of quality time left." Robin smiled.

" Eddie you were supposed to teach me how to drive when I got my permit!" Dustin shook his head.

" You want Eddie to teach you how to drive? I don't think that is a great idea. You better stick with Harrington.”Scotty laughed.

" What? I don't drive like a maniac, well not anymore." I slid my arm around Veronica's waist as she sat back beside me." I'm safe, huh Sweetheart?"

" A little fast sometimes but always safe."

" See, I am a great role model." We all laughed.

" Eddie, will you do it one last time?" Dustin looked over at me with sad eyes.

" Do what Henderson?"

" Give is one last lunchroom rant?"

" I don't really have anything to rant about anymore, I'm fucking out of here."

" Please?"

I sighed then whispered in Ronnie's ear."I'll be right back." And kissed her cheek. I stood up and hopped up on the table." Excuse me, can I have your attention please?"

The lunchroom hushed to a dull chatter and everyone turned in my direction.

" As you all know, today is the last day of school, but more importantly MY last day of school, like forever, finally. I want to thank you all , especially the cafeteria staff ,for putting up with my rants and my bullshit over the years. I know that each and everyone of you has been looking forward to this day since I first started at this school. Now the day has come and I wanted to properly say goodbye. Goodbye everyone and try not to miss me too goddamn much."

The cafeteria staff cheered and some of my fellow students clapped, some just didn't give a shit and it was totally fine with me because I was never going to see them again. I jumped down from the table and stood behind Veronica, rubbing her shoulders.

" Thanks Eddie." Dustin smiled.

I smiled at him and jumped as the bell rang. " And that's a wrap guys."

" Last task of the day, picking up our caps and gowns!" Ronnie clapped excitedly .

We said goodbye to Henderson and Wheeler , Gareth and Scotty then waited for Jeff to turn in his tray. The four of us then walked to the cafeteria to pick up our Graduation ensemble. Holy fucking shit, it was really happening.