#JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD ABOUT CUTE DWARVES OKAY?

[egregiousderp]

One of my kiddos said I was like Senshi and AU had to stop and scream because I feel like I’m Chilchuck at best my dudes. Senshi is the goal though.

[brainrotbabe24]

Thorins company and a reader who travels with pets?? Birds, bats, lizards, SNAKES, CATS, TIGERS???

Hi!! Okay, so I immediately thought of them with a tiger and based this on that idea lol! Idk just the idea of the dwarves interacting with a giant tiger is so funny to me lol! 😂💖 Thank you!!

Balin: Balin isn't particularly interested in animals. He might give your pet the occasional scratch or pat on the head, but besides that, he doesn't pay much attention to them. But what would be the cutest is if he falls asleep next to the furry creature, and they end up snuggling. It's rare but very cute! 

Dwalin: Dwalin has a soft spot for animals. When no one is looking, he will baby-talk your big cat in the cutest voice, showering them with praise and love. You might catch him saying, "Oh, what a good boy!💖You killed those orcs perfectly. Who is the cutest ever!" 

Óin: Oin would be interested in observing your pet like a scientist. He would ask you questions, take samples, and even offer to clean its teeth or give it a bath. He wants to learn more about how a wild animal acts so docile. 

Glóin: Gloin is unsure, perhaps cautious. He isn't used to wild animals being pets and would be wary that it would kill the group as soon as it had the chance. He would keep himself far away and make sure his weapons were ready at any moment. 

Bifur: He would give your tiger so many kisses! He's the type who would let the pet lick his face and wouldn't mind if it got a little too close for comfort. Bifur just can't get enough of them!

Bofur: Bofur would come up with nicknames for your pet. It would be a running joke that he greets you and your pet with new, crazy, incredibly long, and ridiculous names. "Morning y/n! Morning Mr.Fluffy sparkle butt!" 

Bombur: Bombur would be terrified! It's such a large creature compared to dwarves, so he would be scared of being eaten. You would make him faint if you cleaned the tiger's teeth and were basically crawling in its mouth to get to the molars.

Ori: Ori would be very curious about your pet! He's never seen a wild animal be so tame and trained. He'd bombard you with questions and would eagerly ask Dori and Nori if they could adopt one, too.

Dori: Like Balin, Dori is indifferent. If the animal showed interest in him, he would acknowledge it but wouldn't go out of his way to play with the tiger. I feel like he would be allergic, too, lol 

Nori: Nori would try to teach your tiger tricks. He would try to teach them to give him a paw and roll over. He'd take pride in getting the animal to obey his commands. I could also see Nori praising it even when it was misbehaving..he loves the naughtiness. 

Thorin: Thorin respects your skills in training a wild animal. He finds it impressive and valuable to the company. He might not say it openly, but he is more at ease with you and your pet tiger. You also remind him of Dáin with his war pigs! 

Kíli: Kili would adore your tiger He would constantly give it snuggles and scratches, quickly becoming the animal's favorite due to his affection. You could not separate the two!!! They would do everything together, even sleep in a dog pile, lol! 

Fíli: Like Kili, Fili would love the animal. There is an instant bond between the two; your pet might listen to him more than you lol! Fili would also sneak treats over to it every night. 

Bilbo: Bilbo would be nervous around your tiger. He would be super anxious around it and would stand far away. You'd have to coax him to come closer so you could introduce him to your pet. For example, if you asked him to feed it, he would hold the food out at arm's length, hoping the animal wouldn't eat his arm. 

Gandalf: Gandalf is well acquainted with wild animals. Animals gravitate towards him, so your pet would love him. He gives off the vibe of a Steve Irwin. He is friends with moths, eagles, and many other creatures in Middle Earth.

[love-toxin]

Okay but Eddie being the babysitter for you and Steve! And getting thrown into the family because the two of you cannot keep your hands off of him. And he loves the love

ehe <33 i went a lil feral <333

cws: dilf!steve + milf!sunday school teacher!angelface, babysitter!eddie, age gap (38-40, and 22), fears of infidelity (but its resolved), masturbation, pillow humping, (a+v) fingering, throat fucking, ball worship, rimming, assplay, scent kink, angel has a cum kink, threesome, voyeurism, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, praise kink, sub!eddie, dom!steve, switch!angel, fem reader.

word count: 8.8k (90% smut)

Edward is so, so cute.

You noticed his look at first--the aesthetic he's got going on is really quite something, with the ripped jeans, and the hair, and the....the rings on those long, thick fingers. He was a little off-putting at first because he wasn't transparently shy, more blunt than anything else as he introduced himself. He's not like some of the other young girls and boys you and your husband had sifted through, almost all of them preppy young teenagers or prepubescent middle schoolers looking for a crack at their first job.

Edward--Eddie, is a little older than that. Which some might find strange or untrustworthy, but he's only around twenty-two, so still young. They would find him uncouth for many other reasons anyways, so it's not really a bother--you and Steve wanted someone older, someone more mature and hopefully more responsible anyways, because you've been looking for a long-term sitter and the high schoolers you picked before....oh, Steve was not happy when you came home early and found them throwing a party in your house, while your son was fast asleep in his room.

On the other hand, your check-ins with Eddie over the last few months have been stellar. Not only has he managed to follow all your rules, but your son absolutely adores him. It's hard enough at your respective ages, with you at 38 and Steve hitting 40 this year, to wrangle a seven-year-old with his own agenda. But Casey has taken to Eddie like a bee to honey and he seems to have no trouble getting him through his daily routines. Toothbrushing, bedtime, and eating vegetables is like a dream when it's in Eddie's hands--the kid thinks he's a god, and Eddie's so thrilled whenever he can talk to your son about his hobbies, so it's a match made in heaven. He's even started reading The Hobbit to him before bedtime, and you can see the joy on Steve's face whenever his son climbs up into his lap and starts excitedly chattering to him about orcs, and dwarves, and dragons, and whatever else tickles his fancy. You're sure it's because he reminds him of Dustin in those moments, and it's just so sweet.

Of course, a couple moms and older ladies at your church meetings had expressed worry at first, discontent even with your choice of caretaker, but you've been quite happy to report nothing but solid results out of the young man over the last few months. Casey's even taken to asking if Eddie can come over and play when you're at home--"Mommy, call Eddie! You and daddy hafta go out, I wanna play dragons!"--so you would think their minds would quickly be changed. But not so.

"He's a fan of that heavy metal music, he can't be good with kids. What if he indoctrinates your son, or converts him? Besides, he deals drugs! You can't ignore that."

Their criticisms fly over your head with nothing to hold them down, and while the drugs do worry you a bit, you have nothing but pure faith in Eddie to keep any of those habits out of your house. He never even smells of smoke when he comes to babysit, and the one time you did catch a whiff of cigarettes when Steve called him in last minute, he apologized and offered to change his clothes as soon as he spotted your nose crinkling up. Such a sweet boy, how could you even try to be upset? Steve lent him an old polo and jeans, and the two of you got a good chuckle before you left at watching him shimmy around in those clothes that were so not his style. But he committed to it because he's just....Eddie. That's just how he is.

And you're not sure when you started thinking of him that way, as Eddie, and not just as your babysitter, but it certainly hasn't gone away on its own. At first it was just a fancy, a cheeky "oh, isn't he cute? I bet the girls love that hair." that you've heard from all manner of female gossip. Even being a Sunday school teacher you aren't immune to it, so you figured that fluttering of your heart when he calls you "Mrs. Harrington" would go away with time.

But it hasn't. And the fear has been growing--what's wrong with you, you've wondered? You've been with Steve for years, and not once have you ever been charmed by someone other than your husband, not to the extent of thinking about them when you're with him. Steve's always been the love of your life since you were eighteen, so what could have possibly changed in all those years? Is it a midlife crisis? Or are you just a terrible person for thinking about another man, a younger man, while you're next to your husband in bed?

It isn't until you start noticing things about Steve that you realize that you might not be the only one, and that it might not be just a you problem. At first it's subtle, a "Hey Eddie, you wanna stay for a drink?" after Casey's gone to bed and you've both arrived home from your date. Then you notice the looks he's giving him--the long, lingering stares when Eddie laughs or flips his hair over his shoulder, sometimes a flicker of a look when he bends over. And soon after that, you notice that he's getting further from Eddie. Steve's buying you more gifts, and your sex life ramps up dramatically; you go from two or three times a week to every night, Steve moaning into your ear that he loves you, he loves you so much, and that worries you even more. By then, has he already strayed? Are you watching his guilt unfold after he's broken the vows of your marriage?

Clearly that's not the case when you get some time alone with Eddie, though. It's quite obvious that he has no earthly idea of your feelings or of Steve's, and there isn't a single clue of some kind of secret affair that you can find. In some ways, you feel a little stupid for searching for one in the first place, because maybe you're just projecting your own guilt on to your poor, sweet husband.

That is until you catch Steve in the shower late at night, jerking off and moaning Eddie's name into his hand. If that isn't a tell, literally nothing could be. But it's a fortunate affair if not incredibly humiliating and shameful for your husband in the moment, shock and pain clear in his eyes when you pull the curtain back and catch him red-handed. It's adorable actually, seeing him so guilty and apologetic as he tries to tell you how much he loves you, and how he's so ashamed of himself but he doesn't know what to do--he certainly wasn't expecting you to admit your own feelings, nor for that humiliation to turn into lust as he pinned you to the shower wall and didn't let you down until the water ran cold.

After that, you came to a crossroads, and you both had to be honest with yourselves. Should you let him go? You both knew how desperately he needed the money, and you were sure it would devastate Casey not to have him around anymore, but how ethical would it be to be paying someone you both want to sleep with? What if your feelings leaked out and Eddie felt pressured to stay, or worse, felt he couldn't leave because of the money? It's such a difficult decision that you just had to leave it for a while, too wrapped up in your emotions to make a proper choice--you both just decided to keep things hidden for now, at least until you can find a better solution than firing him out of the blue for reasons beyond his control.

It doesn't stay that way, though. It certainly doesn't. Because now, you're living day to day with Eddie on your mind, and tonight's the night that you're not so sure it's completely one-sided anymore.

It's just barely past two am, and your key clicks so quietly in the lock that even you can barely hear it. You and Steve have been off on a couple's vacation for the weekend, but contrary to what you were hoping, you're both feeling more exhausted than refreshed. First, the hotel you'd booked months in advance had sold your room out from under you, and you were forced to find a much cheaper, much dingier one to sleep in at the last minute. Then Steve had his wallet stolen, and you spent the better part of your first vacation day calling people and looking around the resort for it. Then some drunk guy at the restaurant Steve had proposed to you in started harassing you, and the two of you were kicked out for Steve's less than delicate way of handling the situation, which was to clock the douchebag in the face after he called you a whore. And now you've just spent hours in traffic trying to get home early, so when you stumble into the front hallway of your home and kick your shoes off, you're so grateful you're ready to head right to bed and pass out.

"Hey, let's go tell Eddie he can go home, first." Steve whispers with a hand on your shoulder, aware and cautious of the fact that your son is definitely sleeping at this time of night. To top it all off, Eddie had called that first evening to tell you that your son had a fever and wasn't feeling well, as if your luck wasn't bad enough already.

"Let's pay him for the whole night, though. Give him a good tip for cleaning up Casey's puke."

"Of course. Aren't you so generous, Mrs. Harrington?" He chuckles, and with his loafers kicked off, he leans down and sweeps you right off your feet like you weigh nothing, and hurries on light feet up the stairs as if you're a bride again and he's rushing to toss you into your marriage bed. You pass by Casey's room and hear nothing, and Steve only lets you down when you reach the other side of the hall where the corner is, to peek into the guest bedroom that you've designated for Eddie. But when you do, and even when you flip on the light, you realize right away that he's not there--there's not even an inkling of a lump under the covers, which immediately flips your mind to worry after you've been on edge for the last three days. A reassurance is just about to fly off Steve's lips over your shoulder, something about how he might've gone for a walk, because his van was still parked in your driveway when you pulled in.

But as soon as you step back and pull the door closed, you hear it. Down the second hallway at the very end, where the master bedroom sits with the door firmly shut.

"Fuck..."

Your eyes both widen, and you share a look with your brown-eyed husband that screams pure shock. That was definitely Eddie. And that was absolutely, indisputably, without a doubt a moan.

Neither of you say a word, you're too nervous to even breathe, but Steve's features twist with anger before he can counteract it. You can both deal with your feelings about Eddie later, but having a stranger in your house while you're gone, and having sex? That's absolutely disrespectful, and you get why your husband is so flustered and stiff as he stalks down the hall towards the cream-coloured door. You follow close behind, like a rabbit on soft paws as you hurry to huddle up behind him--but just as he's grit his teeth and got his hand on the doorknob, you hear something else.

"Fuck...Mr. Harrington-"

His voice lilts, trills up to get a little louder, before his noises are muffled again--he must have clamped a hand over his mouth, but you're too caught up with the fact that your babysitter just moaned your husband's name. You can be sure now that your suspicions were wrong and that there isn't someone in there with him, because it's only his ragged breathing on the other side of the door....and you can hear the hard, sharp shuck shuck shuck of a soft, wet hand gripping the shaft of his cock, just like all those weeks ago when you caught Steve rubbing one out to the thought of Eddie in the same way. Your nails dig into Steve's baby blue golf shirt and it draws his attention down to you, the fury completely evaporated into a hot, red flush burning across his face.

In those strained few seconds, it's not your husband that opens the door. You reach past him and graze his hand as you do it yourself, carefully turning the knob and pushing it forward slowly enough that it doesn't make a sound. Relief washes over you.

Because otherwise, you wouldn't have got to see what's waiting for you in your own bed. Eddie's Iron Maiden t-shirt is rucked up, his pants and boxers in a heap on the floor, and he's hunched over your bed with one hand gripping something beneath him. You peek a little closer, and see that it's your pillow--your pillow, the one that lays on your side, pinned between his hairy thighs and cushioning his hard, rosy-tipped cock that's absolutely drenched in what you can only guess is his own spit and lube. There's clearly a big, damp patch on the dark blue fabric just beneath him, where you can see his balls squishing up against it every time he rocks into it, and...fuck. If you knew how often he had done this, you would've started humping your own pillow a lot sooner.

"Mr. Harrington, fuck--fuck, she feels so good..." Now it's your turn to warm up, Steve's hair tickling your cheek as he looks over your shoulder with just as much entrancement. You watch with bated breath as Eddie pounds your poor pillow into the bed, the hand he was muffling himself with finally spared to reach behind him and slowly work its way down--and you can't miss how slick his fingers are, his hips stopping for a moment or two so he can find the spot he's looking for. "S'gonna be okay, I can take it, I know you're big, I can take it,"

That cute, taut little rim slides open easily with the lube, but Eddie still moans and his hips kick up on instinct when he pushes a finger inside. It isn't until he starts bucking again that you finally notice the hand sliding down your ass, and your squeak of shock gets smothered by your husband's other hand as he claps it over your face, murmuring so quietly into your ear not to move as his fingers travel further. The flimsy sundress he convinced you to wear is obviously coming in handy for him, because your panties move easily and in moments, he's got two huge, hot fingers buried inside your cunt and your slick dripping all over his wrist.

"M-Mrs. Harrington--please, please let me cum, I'll be so good-" Eddie pants, completely oblivious to the squirming woman in the doorway and her husband's pants tenting as his cock strains for warmth. "I-I'll never cum in your panties again, I promise! I'll save all my cum for your pussy,"

You choke at that, and you're yanked back into your husband's chest with a hush and a stiff prodding into your lower back. Eddie's so far gone he doesn't notice though, and fortunate for you, because with Steve rubbing your clit as you listen to him call you baby you really aren't going to last long. Especially not when you can see when he hits his own hot spot inside, and buckles like he's just been shot, his face planting square into the sheets as he keeps working his fingers and humping your pillow with his cock leaking everywhere. He's close, so close, and so are you.

"Harder, please, you can be rough with me--you like it when I fuck her, Mr. Harrington? Like when I make your wife cum for me?" Steve only gets deeper, his tongue on your ear as he curls his fingers into that spot that blinds you with hot, white pleasure, and doesn't dare to stop right up until you're so hot it's burning--and then, when Eddie mumbles that next line to himself, it's the one that throws you right over the edge into ecstasy.

"Bet you and your wife love watching me rub one out, dontcha Mr. Harrington?"

He turns his head over his shoulder just in time to watch you crumble in your husband's strong arms, feet scrabbling for purchase on the hardwood as Steve fingers you right through your leg-shaking orgasm--and while you're writhing and whimpering into his hand, you're soaking the floor beneath you with enough clear, slick cum to run a mop clean through.

Eddie knew. Even if he was just guessing, he was definitely doing it for real--and while your head is still floaty and your body still reeling from cumming, Steve pulls his hand away from your cunt and locks the door behind him with the other, pushing you ahead to collapse into your bed next to Eddie. You can smell him, smell that hot musk of sweat and manly aroma, and if you weren't still trembling your mouth would be on his balls right now.

"About time I got to show you my nightly routine, Mrs. Harrington." He sighs, a content smile on his face despite the circumstances. He pulls the pillow out from under him and sets it next to you--and somehow he looks a little surprised when you grab it, and plunge your face into the exact spot where he'd been rubbing his cock all over it. Warm, wet, smelling of him....you flick your tongue out for a taste, and you're even happier to find that it's just as delicious as you imagined.

"Is this a joke?"

"You think I'd risk my best source of income for a joke?"

"Just checking. So you're a pervert." You feel the weight of Steve's body sinking the end of the mattress as he interrogates him, and when you pull the pillow away from your face, you're delighted to see that Eddie's sitting back with a flustered grin as your husband looms over him. Looks a lot more excited than scared, for sure.

"Only in the good way! Can I-" His hand grazes his cock, but Steve grabs his wrist and yanks it away. The other one, the one you know he was using to finger himself, gets grabbed too--but Steve brings those fingers to his lips, and slowly, intently sucks each one into his mouth without breaking their shared gaze. It's not until the last one gets sucked out with a pop that he finally makes his demands.

"Head over the bed. Lay on your back. Honey, can you give me a hand?" His voice turns so sweet when he talks to you, his soft eyes transfixed on the way you glide over the bed with ease. Eddie does exactly as he's told, and turns himself around so he's laid back with his head hanging off the edge, his curls reaching so far they nearly brush the floor. His fingers tremble and dig into the sheets when you get on top of him, but you don't straddle his cock and he whines. He won't have much room to do that again, though, not after you're finished unbuckling your husband's belt and coaxing that third leg he's hiding out from his underwear. He's already left a wet patch in the gray fabric, much like the one Eddie left on your pillow--you're just flush with gifts it seems, including the reward of watching your husband's cock bob out with that dark, flustered tip that stares you both in the face. Eddie sighs in awe, watching from his place with big, bright eyes, and licks his lips hungrily without knowing what's gonna come next.

"I'm not stopping if you gag. But if it hurts, hit my thigh." He leans down to whisper that part, and as you shimmy your way back down Eddie's torso to his lap, you smile to yourself. Your husband's a softie, always has been, always will be. As dominant as he is, he's always so sweet and doting when things need to wind down--or wind up.

"I won't," Eddie shakes his head, curls bouncing and his eyes never leaving the sight in front of him. He's in a trance, almost, watching Steve's cock twitch and hang so heavy for him, both with size and with age.

"I'm not asking you, Edward. I'm telling you. Hit. My. Thigh. You understand that?" Finally, he nods and chimes out a "Yes, sir" although your husband sighs regardless.

"Such a brat. Where do you young people get your attitude from?"

"Oh, honey. You sound like a grump! Cut the poor boy some slack--you're gonna do a good job for my hubby, right?" You speak softly, gently pulling his shirt up his chest until it's bunched around his collarbone. He seems to like that pool of arousal that you're leaking all over his belly, especially while you're perched over his happy trail and soaking his bush with your slick, since he's already trying to hump your bare cunt despite being nowhere close to it.

"Yes, ma'am." He rubs your hip affectionately, breath hitching as he leans up to watch you balance on your knees and angle yourself over him, to finally start letting his cock breach your slippery folds. "Y-You want a condom, Mrs. H?"

"No. This'll be a lesson in responsibility. You get my wife pregnant, you'll have to deal with it." Eddie looks back at him in shock, but he doesn't say a word. If anything, it shifts more towards excitement as he waits for you to move--and when you do, when you finally start sinking down on that pretty, girthy cock, Eddie cries out and writhes and grabs your waist for stability but he can't make you stop. You're too wet to try, and the stretch that fills you out when you reach the base....it's not better nor worse than your husband's, but it's different. And you just hope it's as good for Eddie as it is for you.

"How's that feel, sweetheart? Feel okay?" You coo, trying to ignore the delightful scrape of unkempt, wiry hairs against your oversensitive clit. It's even more difficult to keep that pleasure at bay when Eddie's throbbing uncontrollably inside you, and your husband is sweetly, tentatively stroking himself off over Eddie's head as he watches the show.

"F-Fuck my mouth, Mr. H," He suddenly pipes up, reaching back to grab Steve's hips and tug him closer, so his cock is barely a centimetre off his face. "Shut me up before I say something--s-stupid!"

Whatever he's thinking about saying, Steve obviously has the patience to wait to hear it--because he wastes no time in pulling back and aligning his tip with Eddie's parted lips, one hand guiding himself and the other holding his jaw to keep him open as he slowly, carefully works himself inside. Every time Eddie jolts, your hips buck and it stimulates him even more, every inch sinking deeper and deeper until he's whimpering around the obvious bulge of Steve's cock nestled in his throat. It's such a pretty sight, his chest heaving for air and his nose nudging at Steve's heavy balls, spit trailing from his straining lips up his face--and Eddie's taking it so well, you can tell even Steve is pleased to see how trained his throat is to take him already.

"You practiced, huh? You were a good boy and practiced for me?" Eddie's eyes roll back into his head at the praise, and the thought of lazily stroking your clit in the interim is blasted away when he starts throwing his hips into a harsh rhythm. Like he's suddenly been possessed by his own lust, Eddie fucks into you with wild and reckless abandon, and doesn't bother trying to muffle his own choking and gagging noises as Steve starts humping his mouth in tandem. "You like being praised? You want more? Then make me cum."

You can tell by the sounds and the humming from Eddie that he would absolutely be running his mouth if he could, although it dies down into whines and deep, rumbly moans as you ride him harder and pay no mind to how he's losing steam. Honestly, you are too, even though the feeling is just indescribable--so you compromise by laying yourself down on his chest, tits squished up against his pecs and your hips laid flat for easier access, plus an opportunity for Eddie to bring his hands up and grab tight fistfuls of your ass that seem to spur his thrusts on even more. Having yourselves lined up only a few centimetres apart doesn't take away from the adrenaline at all--it just gives him an easier time of rapid-fire bucking into you like two rabbits in mating season.

On the other hand, Steve is taking zero liberties with him. He huffs and reminds him of the stopping rule even though he's in the midst of pummeling his poor throat into oblivion, but when he pulls completely out to allow him some breathing room, Eddie's sticky, flushed face twists with want and he sticks that pretty pink tongue out to coax him back inside. Clearly he's victorious in that sense--Steve's balls smush right up against his nose as he slides back in, tightening up against him when Eddie makes a loud show of slurping him up like he's some kind of dessert. His poor adam's apple is being abused with every dip into his throat though, and with a hazy giggle, you reach up and lick that spot that keeps showing the outline of your husband's cock--and you don't expect him to push down on the back of your head to shove you into it, Eddie squealing and panting with pleasure at the strange sensation of you sucking on your husband's dick through his own flesh.

"So fucking good," Steve pants, breaking his no cursing rule for the moment to look down on you both with reverence. "Sucking me off so good. My angels, you look so pretty down there."

He tugs you back up by the hair, peering around you to watch the mesmerizing jiggle of your ass as Eddie grinds into you and smirking at the sight. Now both of your faces are smeared with your own saliva, and he happily gives you more as he spits into your slackened mouth and watches it dribble down your chin to splatter against Eddie's flushed skin.

"Such a fucking soft tongue too, christ," Your husband groans, drawing your attention back to the pretty boy beneath you that's spasming and choking back on him. "Want me to pay you to warm my balls for me? Bet you'd do it for free. Just wanna have em in your mouth no matter what."

Just for show, he manages to extract himself from those warm, wet confines and moves his hips a little higher, so his musky scent overwhelms your babysitter's face as he rests his sack right on his panting lips. Eddie's honestly so admirable--he doesn't waste any time in sucking on them, his tongue flicking out to taste each one before he pulls them into his mouth independently. If you weren't married, you'd be worried that he'd show you up for Steve's affections, but your husband clearly knows his priorities as he pulls you up to kiss you firmly on the lips. You can taste each other's sweat on your tongues, and when he moves back his hand shifts to cup your chin with a smile and an affectionate rub. And just like that, he snaps back into dominant mode.

"I'd pay you to creampie this tight little throat too, but you're gonna take it anyways cause you're such a dirty boy for me." A shudder runs through him as Eddie moans around his balls, contently devouring them with his tongue and totally lost in the taste of his musk and sweat from the long day--you can definitely relate to that feeling, because something about Steve's smell just makes him irresistible. His treat is soon pulled away with a grunt, but he's not left wanting for very long when you watch Steve stuff himself right back down his throat, like he's returning to where he belongs. The show is gearing up for its finale and you're pretty glad that Steve's already made a mess of you once, because it's been easier to stave off the next orgasm that you know is coming soon--just as long as Eddie keeps rolling his hips into you like a mindless, youthfully horny sex machine. "And you're gonna get my sloppy seconds when you blow your load in my wife. Gonna make you lick it all up and--and get her all clean for me to breed agai-nnnnh, fuck, fuck!"

Steve's dirty thoughts taper off into throaty, husky moans, his hands coming down hard to pin Eddie's shoulders to the bed so he can't squirm off--but if anything he's edging closer, squeaking and humming with moans as Steve loses his composure and brutalizes that poor, pretty neck as he chases the last few seconds of orgasm. Just to top it off, you make sure to grind your hips down against Eddie to meet his thrusts as he does so, crooning out praise after praise when he digs his nails into your waist and shakes with boundless pleasure as Steve floods his belly with cum straight from the source. If he's trying not to cum in you, he's gonna lose--and now you're close enough that you don't care, you just want it, you're losing yourself in the fantasy of being a cumdump just like Steve's always entertaining for you. When you're so close you can feel it coming on too hard to stop it, and your husband pulls out with little regard to the streams of cum that spurt out and paint Eddie's beet-red face, tilting his head up so they can both watch you come apart on top of him. His honey-brown doe eyes widen with awe as he watches you use him for your own pleasure, unashamedly grinding your clit into his bush to get that delicious pleasure you crave--and with Steve's encouragement, "C'mon honey, show Eddie how pretty you look when you cum" the room blots out and you witness nothing but Eddie's concaving stomach as you push him into his own orgasm.

It's hard to tell where you start and Eddie ends, whose fluids are churning up inside you and spilling all over his lap like a man-made puddle, but nothing in those moments matter. All that matters is the rolling waves of tingling ecstasy that wash over you one at a time, accompanied by the feeling of Eddie's nuts clenched up against your ass as your pussy pulses and milks him of all he has to spare. You're really unsure now of what you just did, but the glory that spreads through you as you come down makes it all feel hazy and good--doesn't really matter as long as this feeling lasts, even if it's just the heat of Eddie's body beneath you as you collapse and nuzzle deeper into his chest.

"Mrs. H..." He finally pants in a hoarse voice, sucking back whatever's left sticking to his mouth and trailing a hand up to rest it on your lower back. "Can't see straight...fucked me too good..."

You bury your grin in his collar, dazedly tracing circles in his shoulder as you readjust to your surroundings. When you finally manage to lift your head, you're met with your husband's groin--he's in the midst of pulling up his pants, but he pauses when he sees you eyeing him. Mostly focused on his heavy, hanging cock between his legs, still smeared with cum and spit and sweat...and although it's usually a toss up of whether he thinks you're too tired to do it or not, he doesn't interrupt and even moves closer when you reach out to touch it, and you lick a long stripe from tip to base to start polishing him off.

"Good girl...love it when you clean my cock for me. Always so gentle, huh? Ssh-" He hisses suddenly as you prop him up and suck the soft tip into your mouth, the globs of cum that threatened to fall getting licked up as you ease every last spurt of seed out of him. His hands brace your head but don't move, though you can't quite reach all the way--but when you start sliding off Eddie's cock to stretch closer and move further down on your husband's, he whimpers with sensitivity and watches with a keen eye as his cum drools out of your cunt like a faucet. You just wanna get close enough, forcing down each inch that's much easier to swallow when he's soft. When you've got the shaft all clean, though, you can get to what lies underneath, and sweetly lap at the sticky mess off your husband's balls until you've polished his skin and groomed every thatch of thick, dark hair he's got. "That's my girl. Givin' em such nice attention, yeah? You know they're yours."

Only when you're good and ready does he finally pull you off, a chuckle rising out of him when you sink back into the man underneath you--and unintentionally smother him with your tits in the process, your velvety skin falling victim to his teeth as he starts mawing at each round, soft globe of flesh. He buckles himself up and bends down to peck you on the lips, murmuring that he's gonna get some towels and go check on Casey, and makes sure to scritch the top of Eddie's frizzy head as a gesture of affection before he slips out the door and shuts it. As soon as he's gone, it gets too quiet.

"What were you gonna say earlier, Eddie?" You sit back so he can have some room to breathe, shuffling down so you can sit on the relatively clean sheets and lean back against the headboard. He follows close behind though and cuddles up in your embrace, his arms loosely hung around your waist while he rubs his cheek against you. He's unusually quiet too, breathing softly against the bare skin of your chest without a word to fill the silence.

"I....was gonna tell you I love you, Mrs. H. And I love Steve. And I love that crazy little squirt of yours. And...you make me feel like I belong. That's, uh...what I was gonna say. Stupid, right?" He jokes, but he doesn't laugh honestly. The playfulness fades away as fast as a heartbeat, and you can tell by his clinginess and the way he squeezes you tighter when you stroke his hair. The poor thing is incredibly lonely, although you've sensed that from the start.

"That's not stupid at all, darling. You know Casey idolizes you, you're practically another father to him. And Steve and I, we've loved you for a long time. We just...we were afraid we were pressuring you into a life you didn't want."

Somehow it's more nerve-wracking to say those few words out loud than it was to come on to him in the first place, but it isn't your first run around the track. You know that true feelings are much harder to be honest about, even when the person they regard is cuddled up next to you in the nude.

"No! No, never! You've been so good to me, I never...I've never been treated so well. You always made me feel safe." He sits up to look you in the eyes, his voice unusually level and mature as he keeps going. "You make me feel like I'm part of the family. Like I have a family. I mean, I do, but...my uncle needs his space, and so do I. I've mooched off him long enough. Although I guess I'm just mooching off you guys, now..."

He rubs at his arms, tentatively reaching behind his head to pull his shirt completely off and dump it with his other clothes. But he looks so dejected, depressed, like he's expecting you to realize that he is a mooch and throw him out of your house. His eyes flutter back up to you when you touch his cheek, however, and he listens intently as you spill out your heart-to-heart.

"You are part of our family. Our home is your home. You're not mooching off us if we're asking you to stay--you never have to, but you're always welcome here. We can't get enough of you." You shrug your shoulders, offering a sincere smile that he returns--and soon it turns to giggling, the high leaving you both bubbly and floaty like you just got done smoking a joint. For a moment or two you don't feel like you've got a ten plus year age gap, but that you're both young and foolish and passionate like you've always been at heart.

"....I was also gonna tell you you have the tightest pussy I've ever felt, holy mother of Ozzy-" He sighs dreamily, and you swat at his arm with an "oh, stop it", but his smirk doesn't fade. "Seriously. Thought you were gonna choke me out. I can't believe you're a mom...you've got a better body than I've ever seen in a magazine. No wonder Steve's such a monster in bed."

"I think you're underselling yourself, sweetie." You coo, leaning in close so he can practically taste the last hints of your perfume. "I wouldn't feel so tight if you weren't so beautifully endowed." You reach down and grope his soft, yet still slick cock, and watch his expression twist with open-mouthed awe and pleasure as you stroke it in your hand. Watching it twitch like crazy in your palm stirs something up in you, and your belly knots itself up as Eddie grows harder and harder under your touch. He's still so sticky--you reach underneath with your other hand and giggle as he gasps, and you're right, even his balls are all messy too. Now that you've got a grip you can feel the heft of them, full of that thick, creamy stuff that drives you crazy, and your fingers weave through the matted patches of hair to feel every curve and give them a squeeze to gauge how much you've got to work with.

"Never woulda thought the sunday school teacher'd have a kink like that," He mumbles, but it's a tease, his lips curving up into a smile as he hovers his hand between your own legs and presses his fingers into your clit--and, just like he hoped, he draws a whine and another squeeze out of you. "Now, you know I desperately wanna lick the cum out of you, and I know you're just dying to get your tongue on my nuts,"

He leans into a whisper, rubbing your soft little button harder so you have to clench to keep all that mess inside. "So why not sit on my face? And I'll give this pretty pussy so many kisses, just like she deserves..." He keeps leaning further, boldly brushing his lips against yours until you close the distance for a kiss--and it's so cute how smug he looks when he pulls away, totally unaware of the side you've been keeping down that you usually save for your husband's worst, most tiring days, when he needs someone else to take control.

"Lay back, sweetie." You charm him with glittery eyes, watching intently as he pulls his fingers away and sucks them clean of your arousal before he follows your order--but instead of climbing on top at once, you reach beneath yourself and plunge your fingers inside, swirling them up with a thick coating of sloppy cum that you transfer to him....but not where he would've expected. You watch his expressions as he sits up and sees what you're doing, circling that tight rim that's exposed to you now at this angle. If he wants you to stop, you're sure he'll say something, especially when you meet his gaze and slowly ease your slick finger inside him.

But he doesn't speak up, doesn't shake his head, doesn't push you away--Eddie just watches, legs shaking as he spreads them wider and fists clenching against the sheets when you dip your head down between them. Seeing his hole swallow up your finger so eagerly is cute, especially with those tantalizing balls heaving just above it and clenching when you curl your knuckles, searching for that spot to hook into that's gonna make his cock spurt all over his belly. He takes it well, he's clean, and he's tight. You can't help but think that Stevie's gonna adore this--and when you lave little kitten licks over his rim, getting a taste of that bitter sweat and cum off your hand, and his hips jump with a jolt of pleasure? It's so sweet you could just die. Your hair shifts suddenly and you feel a warmth on your scalp, though you don't peek up until you've wiggled the tip of your tongue against his hole a little more. But when you do, you're pleased to see Eddie hunched over you and his hand on your head, bottom lip pinned between his teeth as he strokes you devotedly.

"L..Love it when you do that..."

"Do what?" You tease, working your finger slowly back and forth as you wait for an answer, and planting a wet kiss on his sack when he takes too long and has to groan it out.

"F-Finger me. Love it when you finger me, and...u-use your tongue, and stuff...s'gross, but it feels..." A sigh makes its way out of him, long and whiny when you press another finger in alongside the first, and spread them both out. You can catch a glimpse of some pearly shimmers of his own cum when you do, getting creamier when you churn them around with your curious fingers. "Feels incredible. No girl'd ever do this for me...they'd think I was crazy-"

"That's why I'm a woman, Edward. Stevie likes it too." You work on searching for that spot again, letting a glob of spit shoot out on to his rim to massage it in and lube him up a little more, which he seriously seems to like--or at least his cock does, because it twitches and bounces at full stiffness now, completely erect and needy and leaking already.

"You do this to Steve?" He asks in a hushed whisper, eyes big and shocked. He's probably imagining it....oh, he's clenching so hard, he's definitely thinking about it.

"All the time. I'll eat him out in the shower after work," You grin, having clearly caught his rapt attention, and test his resilience by making use of your other hand to massage his balls as you talk. "And he'll moan, and moan, and moan. So shy about it, but as soon as my tongue's inside him he forgets it all. Whimpers like a little princess."

Eddie throws his head back, adam's apple bobbing to and fro as he swallows down his cries. It's a lot harder to do when you start holding his rim open and sticking your tongue inside, only allowing him a moment or two of mind-bending pleasure before you pull back and leave him gaping and empty.

"I-I'd watch that," He finally pipes up, trying desperately to cling to his confidence. You really can't wait until he drops the act entirely, and gets to the point that he's grinding into your mouth and begging Mrs. Harrington to eat him out.

"And you'd rub yourself raw to it, wouldn't you? Then you'd beg me to do it to you, too."

"Mh-!" He squeaks and his head cranks back down to watch you lap at his hole, the hand on your head now clasped over his mouth because he can't go without seeing you work for a second longer. But he nods his head frantically in agreement, and that's when you finally tug your fingers out and use them to push his cheeks completely apart--because you reward honest boys, and it takes a lot for a nice boy like him to admit he enjoys having a woman of the church's tongue up his asshole.

"...That's how I found out Steve liked you, Eddie. He was touching himself in the shower, moaning your name." With a grin that's gonna haunt his wet dreams for the rest of his life, you tease his newly-empty hole with the tip of your tongue and let it wriggle there, testing his reactions and the sounds muffled by him biting his index finger out of desperation. The tears glistening in his eyes make him look so pretty, the embarrassment and shyness something you can enjoy now because it won't last--and you plunge your tongue inside him, completely bypassing any resistance he might have had that's now been loosened by your efforts.

"Shit! No, fuck, that's so fucking hot, fuck-!" He grunts, playing with his own cock like he's not really trying to make himself cum--he just wants it out of the way so he can watch you bury your face in his ass. His balls sit high on your face and they're so much heftier when they're spilling over you, swollen and soft and smelling so manly. It's like a dream, a beautiful, sexy dream, and with how floaty your head is right now you're not altogether sure it isn't a dream. The determined and near-feral manner in which you're tongue-fucking your babysitter could very well be something you've just concocted in your mind and gotten too involved in....but the fingers digging painfully into your scalp feel a bit too real, and so does the chuckling that vibrates through your mouth and up his spine as you feel Eddie squeeze his tight ring around your tongue. A knowing smirk makes way for your lips to seal around him, to suck the incredibly sensitive skin that you've teased into vulnerability, and with that one motion you get exactly what you wanted.

"No, no no no no! Fuck, fuck, cumming, cumming!" You've never heard Eddie so needy, voice nasally and high-pitched like he's in pain, but it's the complete opposite. Once he starts humping your face, he can't stop, and he rides your tongue so hard and for so many harsh thrusts you nearly believe he's not gonna let you pull it out. But he does, once his poor, weeping cock finishes spitting another load all over your hair and his belly, and he drains his balls so dry they tighten up and then flatten until they're completely soft. Only then do you manage to extract yourself and sit up, tongue lolling out your mouth as you heave and gasp for air as if you'd just dunked your head underwater.

And Eddie's done when you come up. He falls back and lets his back hit the bed, chest rising and falling hard enough for you to watch him take each breath. You nudge his knees apart to take a peek, and while his cock is limp and still twitching with a spurt here and there, his hole is flushed and spasming with the aftershocks. It's gaping just wide enough to wink every now and then, and you're sure you can call that a job well done. If only you could take a picture to save it forever.

"It's me," Timing as perfect as always, the door clicks open and your husband pokes his head in, a bundle of towels under his arm and a glass of water he stretches to hand you before he shuts it with his foot. "Wore him out, I see."

"Yeah, we had fun. Casey?" Steve slides in beside you, dropping the towels in front of him and throwing one over Eddie's sticky chest, before tugging his polo off for the first and last time tonight to toss it to the floor.

"Sleeping like a baby. Saw his cup in the sink, Eddie gave him his medicine--he won't wake up for awhile." He greets you with a kiss on the cheek, but you redirect him with your hand on his chin to plant another on his lips--and you know he knows exactly what you got up to when your tongue slithers into his mouth, and he hums at the overwhelming taste of Eddie that you pass on before you pull off with a loud, wet smack.

"Aw, well done! Poor thing hates the stuff, I'm proud of you." You rub Eddie's knee that's collapsed into the bed, feeling smug and proud of yourself at wearing out someone more than ten years younger before you've run out of steam yourself.

Maybe it's cause you've just had to keep up with Steve, who's been a stallion ever since he was fucking you in the backseat of his BMW at the drive-in movies after graduation. You'll never forget the time he made you cum so hard you squirted on one of those dates, and had to throw his jacket over your lap to cover your soaked skirt when he dropped you off at home....and how he came right back the next morning with a handful of roses, asking bashfully if you would be his girlfriend. He's become even more romantic as he's matured--but he's never dropped that insatiable lust for you, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

"What can I say? Best babysitter ever." Eddie pants, grinning up at both of you with his pearly whites glinting in the low light, although his eyes are half-lidded and he's already starting to doze off. You really did wear him out...but you're looking forward to telling Steve about your rather enlightening conversation.

"I guess we're lucky Casey's not getting up til noon," Steve murmurs quietly as you take a sip and pass the glass to him. "Can't imagine Eddie's gonna have any energy for wrangling our kid at six am after this."

"I don't think any of us will have the energy to get up early." You giggle, falling victim to your husband's firm kisses as soon as he sets the water down on the nightstand, his toned arm coming up to cup your cheek as he moves you to lay back against the pillows. He takes a moment to turn back and grab each of Eddie's deadweight legs--because by his snores, he's already passed out--and move them carefully over so he's laid out on the side of the bed and not splayed out in the middle, but returns right back to your lips as his fingertips graze your sides and send shivers up and down your spine.

"I'm not sleepy yet. Are you sleepy?" You shake your head, feeling a girlish flutter in your heart that takes you right back to those days of your early romance. It's one of the many reasons you still feel such intense love for him, because he reminds you of how happy you were then with every headrush that comes from a kiss, and every time he makes you giggle with a joke or a sweet gesture just like he did when you were dating. "Then I think a certain hot momma I know needs some me time."

"Me time?" He nods, a "mhm" hummed into your lips as he steals another kiss, before planting a firm, squirm-inducing one right at the soft spot of your throat. "What kind of 'me time', may I ask?"

Steve leans close enough to your lips that you're sure he's going in for a deeper kiss--but when he hesitates, your mouth is already parted, and you feel that puff of hot breath on your tongue as he mutters in as low and rumbly a tone as he can get.

"Me 'eating this pretty pussy until my wife cums on my mouth' time. Obviously." He smirks, and flicks his tongue across your bottom lip to hear you moan for him already. Knowing Steve, this is definitely gonna keep Eddie from sleeping soundly in the same room, especially when he's got that look in his eyes. But...at least now, you don't really have to worry about waking the babysitter anymore.

[shiinata-library]

Imagine: Being too focused

Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Bilbo's reactions when they understand you're just very focused on your job.

[ 📚 Main Imagines Masterlist 📚 ]

You joined Thorin's company in Bree when they stayed at The Prancing Pony. Gandalf recommended you as a guide throughout Middle earth because he knew he won't always be with them. After a long, complicated discussion between him and Thorin, he finally accepted you, but not as a company member, rather as an optional person like Gandalf. So no contract, no part of treasure, and no responsibility for him. 

As you just owed a big favour to Gandalf, you were okay with that. As a Ranger of the North, you know Middle earth by heart, so leading them to Erebor will be easy, right?

Thorin

From the start, you ride on a horse, always before everyone, alone staring at the horizon to be sure of the way. 

As you're alone, you never talk to anyone. Gandalf is the only one to talk to you sometimes during the day. 

Focused on your task to guide them, you don't realise the dwarves are suspicious about you, and you don't try to talk to you either. 

You used to eat with Gandalf and Bilbo.

Thorin is the only dwarf who talks to you when he needs it. Only to be sure you took the right way, to tell the truth. 

It's hard to believe it but Thorin finds your quiet, cold attitude a little intimidating. Just a little bit. 

The first time he sees you laugh is in Rivendell, with Lord Elrond and his two sons after the dinner. Something inside him makes him angry, but he prefers focusing on the map of his father rather than thinking of you. 

The second time he sees your serious face broken is when he hugs the hobbit, on the Carrock. But a second later, he is looking at Erebor. He has no time to waste on a woman. He has to stay focused on the quest.

In Laketown, you should be on your guard when the Master of the town offers you to stay freely in an inn for the last night before going to Erebor, but Bilbo makes you taste a glass of wine, then another, then another… 

How much wine did you drink? 🤷 What did you do after? Dancing with Bofur? Laughing with Fíli and Kíli? An arm-wrestling match with Dwalin? 🤷 The only thing you know was that you need to cool your head, so you take your coat and get out.

“We’re starting to think you left,” Thorin says as he walks toward you after closing the inn’s door. “Well, now you all are here, you don’t need me anymore. But, no. I just needed to cool my head.” 

Thorin stops next to you, so close that you feel his warmth. His coat looks much warmer than yours, but you should stop fixing it. The both of you chat for a while until you realise it’s the first time you really chat with him, and it’s quite pleasant. Plus, he seems as relaxed as you, maybe because of the wine.

Even if you friendly chat with him, you don’t realise you keep your serious face while he smiles at you. He is the future King under the mountain, you can’t laugh with him like any friend, right? At some point, the winter wind makes you shiver, but you’re not cold for long. With the thick coat of Thorin on your shoulders, you are very warm. “Oh, hm, thanks, but you should keep it,” you say, very embarrassed but truly glad to be warm. Even if you smile, you try to hide your embarrassment by tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

This gesture and your embarrassing face changes something in Thorin’s heart. He never saw you embarrassed and he can’t help but find you very cute and attractive. If you were closer, he would try to do more things to see your shyness tonight. Maybe later, in Erebor, once he will have his mountain back.

Fíli

He and his brothers try to make you laugh more than once with jokes or tricks, but they never succeed.

Yet, Fíli is often quiet and more observant than you think. He sees you smile sometimes, but mostly at the moments he doesn’t expect it.

The first time he sees you beam is just after the trolls. You find a good, light elvish sword and try it alone. A very good sword! 

You don’t realise it either, but you smile every day when you eat, sitting before a pretty landscape. Some old ruins coloured by the sunset, for example. 

But the moment he sees your most radiant smile is in a small town, in the middle of nowhere. Thorin had decided to stay in a town, leaving everyone else to disperse for their own purchase. A man joins you and hugs you for a long time. Too long to his liking, to tell the truth. You’re also smiling too much for a man who isn’t him.

The night you stay in the town, in the same inn as everyone. In a town, they don’t need you to guide them, so you can rest. You eat your dinner at the inn with the man you met in the afternoon, a friend you haven't seen for a long time.

After finishing your dinner together, your friend leaves on an overnight mission to the region. No sooner has he left than Fíli joins you at your table as you drink your wine. 

“Are you bored with us, or do you dislike us?” he asks as he sits on a chair next to you. “I mean, is it boring to join a company of dwarfs?”

You frown. It’s not the first time you talk to him, but it’s the first time you’re alone with him, and you’re surprised by his question. “No, absolutely not. Why do you think that?”

“You never smile or join us in the evening over the fire,” he says as he looks you in the eye, waiting for your answer.

“Oh, I’m sorry. During the day I’m focused on the road and in the evening, I plan the way for the next day according to the stars, and it takes time. I would feel bad if I took the wrong way and delayed your journey,” you reply with a smile before sipping your wine.

Surprised by your smile, he accidentally spills his ale on your trousers and his. He immediately stands up, apologising endlessly. 

You burst out laughing, telling him it’s alright, you have another one clean in your bag. His clumsiness is so out of character that you laugh for a while.

After this night, he knows the sound of you laughing is the most melodious sound he has ever heard, and he knows he wants to hear it every day for the rest of his life.

Kíli 

From the start, you ride on a horse always before everyone, alone staring at the horizon to be sure of the way. 

As you're alone, you never talk to anyone, except maybe Gandalf. He is the only one to talk to you sometimes during the day, or Bilbo because he is never far from Gandalf. 

The two young brothers are always trying to make you laugh or get your attention, but it doesn’t work. You don't even do it on purpose. You’re too focused on your job to notice them.

One afternoon, you open your map to be sure to go through the right place but a small rock goes through your map and makes a hole in it. First, you’re surprised, then when you’re about to look around you, you hear, “Kíli! What have you done again? Can’t you behave for one day?” Thorin shouts to his nephew as you look back to your map. Luckily, the rock made a hole in the sea and the rest of the paper wasn't damaged.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t want to pierce the map! Is it damaged? I’m sorry!” he says, riding closer in the front, with you and Thorin. “It was just a joke!” You sigh and turn back to do your job without a word while Thorin continues to reprimand him like a child.

After some ups and downs, you arrive in Rivendell. If the first time he sees you smile isn’t with two elves, Kíli would be happy to see it, but when Elladan and Elrohir find you, they welcome you so warmly that you forget almost everything you've been through. Arwen joins you too and you spend more time with them than the dwarves. He sees you smiling during the whole stay in Rivendell, and from the moment you all flee in the Misty mountains, you put on your serious face again, focused on the road.

One very cold night, Thorin decided to stop in a cave, with a small fire just to make dinner. It’s really because you owe a debt to Gandalf that you’re still with them. He is not even coming with you in the Misty Mountains’ snow! You’re within a hair's breadth of return to Rivendell, but when you see the Hobbit is still here, you can make an effort. Are you a ranger or not?

Focused on blowing on your hands to keep your warm, you startle when Kíli kneels before you and hands you a bowl of soup. “Here, it’ll warm you a little,” he says with a light smile. You’re surprised it’s not Bilbo who gives your meal as usual, even more when Kíli sits next to you with his own bowl, but you don't pay attention. A warm soup is just what you need to think about right now.

When Kíli sees you smile as you eat your bowl, he loses his words. It’s the first time you smile for him. Well, technically not for him, but thanks to him, right? Then, he realises the soup is not the only thing that warms him up. 

Once you finish your soup, your hands are quickly cold and you restart blowing on it. When Kíli sees that, he removes his coat and slips it on your back. It’s too big for you and so warm. For some seconds, you beam and close the coat on you, until you notice Kíli is now in a tunic. “Are you crazy? You will catch a cold like that! Take it back!” you exclaim, losing your smile. “It takes more than that for a dwarf to get sick,” he laughs as he takes his blanket from his bed. “And I have a blanket!”

His smile and attention make you blush, so you close his coat even more on you to hide your face. But it doesn’t escape Kíli's notice. If giving you soup makes you smile and giving you a coat makes you blush, he already starts to think about all the things he could give you to see all your expressions.

Bilbo 

Bilbo is a curious hobbit, so when Gandalf talks to you, he often joins him. On the road, at dinners, at breaks, …

Always riding at the front of the company, you intrigue him from the beginning. You’re very quiet compared to the dwarves. You never complain and speak only to indicate the way.

When Fíli and Kíli come to the front to talk to you, you answer vaguely, even when they make jokes.

One evening you all rest in an inn in a small town, you join Gandalf and Bilbo for dinner. A waitress finds you and serves you the meal you ordered. Bilbo notices your smile at the view of the warm dinner while they are also waiting for theirs. Something in his heart warms him up, but he doesn’t know if it’s because of the view of the meal or your smile. He tries to forget it when his meal comes.

During that very dinner, you couldn’t decide on the meal to order, so you ask Bilbo if you can taste his meal. He looks surprised by your request but lets you do it. Oh, his meat pie is as good as your roast pork!

As Bilbo prefers staying with you in each town the company passes or rests, you often share a meal with him, and your love for good food makes you want to try as many dishes as possible. One day, you meet a friend in a new town. A childhood ranger friend. Everyone is surprised when you call him. He runs to you and hugs you with all the strength he has. Your laugh echoes for so long that the dwarves go back to their business. 

But not Bilbo. He stays with you and you introduce him to your friend. The three of you end up dinner together in the town��s inn. After they bring your meals, you taste yours, then the one of Bilbo like you used to. Your friend ordered the same as you.

“Y/n?” he asks you, wincing. “It’s me,” you reply, your head still leaning on your plate. “Tell me you know what it means to share a meal like this with a hobbit.”

You shrug, continuing to eat. You don’t see Bilbo blushing and finishing his meal quickly. The silence makes you raise your head. Your friend is smiling, and Bilbo seems trying to say something but he stammers, “I. Well. You. Well.”

“Wait, it means something?” you finally ask, putting your fork and knife on the table. Your friend sighs. You’ve never been interested in Hobbits before, but you know your friend used to watch their lands for years. “It’s a courting thing, or for married ones,” he eventually laughs.

“What? But nobody told me! Either Gandalf, or even Bilbo! Hey Bilbo, why didn't you ever tell me?” you ask as he stammers some words about some things he has to do, and leaves you.

Oh. So, your friend is right.

Bilbo avoids you since then, and you’re too focused to do your job to speak with him. Well, in truth, you try to stay focused but when you notice you made a mistake, turning at the wrong path, you’re so embarrassed that you spend your day apologising to Thorin. “Don’t worry, lass, mistakes happen,” Balin tells you the night of the incident with a comforting smile.

You feel so stupid that you isolate yourself behind a rock to avoid Thorin’s look. At some point, you hear steps toward you and eventually see Bilbo. He stops in front of you with a bowl of Bombur’s stew.

“Can I sit next to you?” he asks. It’s the first time he has spoken to you since he ran away. You nod and take the bowl. You finally talk both of you like you used to until you search in your bag and get out a cookie.

“Will you share it with me?” you ask as you cut the cookie in half. “Y-you’re sure?” he asks as he is about to take half of the cookie you hand him. “I’m sure,” you say with the first smile of your day. Then Bilbo realises he missed your smile more than he thought. But when you eat your piece of cookie, he understands how much more he missed your smile when you were eating. Luckily for him, he has some food in his bag waiting to share with you. 

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 84

Taliesin makes a Bane "Ooooooohhh ..." sound and derails Matt's opening.

Wait, no ad? Oh wait ... they're doing a Speed style Sam advert ... keep reading, Riegel! We don't want to blow up! No! Don't do it, Marisha! You're still so young! It's not worth it!

I jest ... XD

Oh dear ... Marisha has almost been derailed as well after THAT ...

Laura: "We have merch!" She said that in the cutest way possible and I loved it. :3

Guess we'll just have to IMAGINE the Yasha based awesomeness ...

I really CANNOT get enough of those animated titles ... so good ...

Okay, here we go, back to Ruidus ...

So who is THIS then? They seem very cute ...

Friends of the Imperium? Yes? No? Good or bad ... hmmm ... Detect Thoughts? Smart ...

I think he might be getting confused ... hmmm ... Fearne, that seems like a very weird tangent you're going on ... oh, so there IS something going on with his chest? Hmmmm ...

Wait ... is this gonna be like one of those creepy Shadow parasites in Babylon 5?

Dono? Awwww ... "Don't know?" Oh good grief ...

Druidcraft flower ... wait, does he actually KNOW what that actually is?

Whoa ... extra arms? Oh, no ... oh, it's a PET? Some kind of strange Fay creature ... Kaniey? Okay ...

Pate? Oh dear ...

Dreamers? Huh?

Laudna produces her Jrusar theatre card for identification ... oh boy ...

So the Dreamers are just people from Exandria. Okay, makes sense. Cytaa? Hmmmm ... Bormodos. Oh, a symbiotic relationship? Intriguing.

They learned Common through THEIR dreams? Oh, so THEY dream the dreams of Exsandrians ... strange ... also beautiful ...

NSFW ... yeah ... O.O

Capital city? Kreviris? Okay ... centre of the Imperium? Hmmm ...

Entrapment? No ... don't put THAT idea in his head ... Chetney: "Are you a narc?" Oof ...

Wuukors and avadons ... so THOSE are the beasties ...

A dozen Imperium in the town ... on high alert ... pushing them to work harder lately ... yup ...

Elder Barthie? Sounds like the right choice ...

The Weave Mind? Masters of the Imperium ... connects them to THE ONE WHO SLEEPS ... yeah, that would be Predathos ...

Rezora is the town? Got it.

Turning back into clouds ... he's impressed. Cute ... and now he's EXCITED about what he's about? Oh boy ...

Following Dono through the town ... simple place, but it seems quite pleasant and homely too ...

Ah ... military types ... hmmm ... these would be the BAD GUYS, then ...

Know Your Enemy ... go Orym! So these guys are tough, but nothing SUPER major, at least ...

Wow ... Dono is a REALLY bad actor ...

A-ha ... here we go ... smoother than expected, at least ... and they're IN.

Oh, so is the Elder ALREADY onto them? Interesting ... oh, he seems quite sweet, actually ... oh yeah, he clearly knows what's going on ...

Oh boy ... Elder Barthie is basically Jeff Goldblum ... cute ... I love it ... XD

Oh gods, the head ... oh no, Chetney stop that ...

Ah ... yes, tea. This is clearly going to be ... SPECIAL tea ... O.O

He's 300? Okay ...

Oh, so they're a bit like Tolkien's dwarves, then? Cool.

Recent shake-ups? Hmmmmm ... here we go ... the arrival of the Dreamers has become a major disturbance ... interesting ...

Big fat LORE DUMP ...

The Beating Heart, the Dream Keeper ... Predathos by any other names ...

Orym starts growing Druidcraft flowers ... meanwhile Laudna pulls out her ball bearings ... hmmmm ... not sure where THAT'S gonna go ...

The Dominion? Tectus? Hmmmm ...

"Bonobos?" Oh dear ... do not mention the sex monkeys, that can ONLY end in ridiculousness ...

FCG: "We've asked you so many questions! We have a few more!"

Pastries? Oh boy ... here we go ... Chu? Awwwwwwwwww ... :3

Oh man, it TALKS?!!! Fantastic ... and it's SASSY too ...

Laura's dirty mind gets her in trouble, narratively ... XD

Chu calls Chetney "the bushy rat-man" and Ashton loves it.

Chu is a flat Earther ... oh boy ... FCG immediately approves ... clearly Matt is pandering ...

"Worm territory"? Oh dear ...

Willmaster Edmuda? Hmmmm ... apparently she's a nasty piece of work ... lovely ...

Ah, the Volition, yeah ... so they ARE a kind of resistance effort. Great. That's the ticket. Oh, and Bertie has a friend among them? Zhesh? Cool ...

The Treshi ball is still dark ... phew ...

Minor Illusion ... have they seen Ludinus or Otohan? From a distance, apparently ... but not lately ... now Ira ... not him, then. Okay ...

Something of Zhesh's? Oh, are they going to Scry on her? That might work.

Ah yes ... the Flares ... goodie ... the "Beat" of the Heart of the One Who Sleeps ... hmmmm ...

So Imogen wonders if these Flares might help Predathos gain control of the Ruidusborn ... potentially a danger to her and Fearne, then ... hmmmm ... Best watch out for that ...

Laudna: "Do you .. babies?" Oof ... O.O

Matt (As Barthie): "If I could ..." Half the group, together, singing: "TURN BACK TIME!!!" Matt is broken for a few moments ... XD

Good point, IS THERE somewhere to sleep? There's a kind of cellar in this abode. Okay, then.

Working out the next move ...

THERE IS Moon wood! Yay! But not a lot of it ... hmmmmm ... not good for Chetney, then ...

Imogen considers trying a Sending to Zhesh ... hmmmm ...

Someone's coming? On the far side of the village ... causing a bit of a hubbub ... is it a potential problem?

They send Dono to check it out ... okay ...

Imogen reaches out to Zhesh ... she's very subtle about it ... and it DOESN'T cause interference! That's interesting ... she gets a very non-committal answer, but at least she's definitely here.

Imogen mists up to accompany Barthie outside to "see what the commotion is" ... oh wait, someone's already here ...

Crap ... there's a Reiloran at the door. Somebody IMPORTANT, looks like ...

The Willmaster? Shit!

And it's time for a break? NOW?!!! Crap ... WHILE Imogen is transforming, too ... O.O

And we're back ... and proper PANICKING already! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Are they visible? Are they rolling for Stealth? Crap ... Matt makes them do it ANYWAY ... it's s bit of a mess, looks like ...

Oh yeah, they're pretty much RUMBLED already ...

FCG just tries to bluff ... and casts Fast Friends? Oh fuck ...

Roll Initiative? Of course it is ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Battlemap! Sweet! Cue Sam plugging Wizzkids!

Oh gods ... I have, like, THE WORST feeling about this ... this is probably going to go HORRIBLY ...

TWO MORE ROUNDS before Imogen can even HOPE to turn back to solid? Balls ...

So, do the run or do they FIGHT?!!!

Orym goes under rhe table then pulls Bait and Switch with the Elder, then just HOLDS ready ...

Laudna casts Hex on the Willmaster, then ... Marisha exclaims "SHIT!!!" several times ... then casts Fireball on her AND the Shrikes?! Oh dear fucking gods ... it's at FOURTH Level? Fuck ... 32 Fireball damage each, with 3 extra on the Willmaster ... ouch ...

Wow ... that causes SO MUCH chaos right out the gate ...

Holy fuck, most of the Vanguard just BREAK on the spot ... XD .. and now Laudna just literally EXALTED one of 'em ...

Shit, so that kid just UPGRADED on the spot and casts Telekinesis on her ... lifting her up OFF THE GROUND!!! Crap!

Chetney casts Blood Curse of Binding on the Willmaster ... which doesn't take! Balls... so he produces and activates Turmoil and casts Shatter on her instead, which she SPECTACULARLY fails to resist, inflicting 30 points of Thunder Damage on her AND others behind her ... oof ...

Ashton immediately RAGES!!! Goes monochrome, so increased gravity as he turns into a MINI BLACK HOLE!!! The Shrike that hrkd its action tries to attack him ... oh, this is going to be VERY interesting ... barely TWO points of damage ... so he casts a Teleportation Pad right under him to punt him right into the animal pen! "FUCK OFF!!!" Then attacks the knewly Exalted one and lands some more serious damage.

The Willmaster is IMMEDIATELY dragged towards Ashton, meanwhile instantly takes psychic control of EVERYONE in the village. Oof ... Jagged Dart? Oh hell ... tosses it at Ashton ... DEFINITELY hits ... 22 points of Force Damage! Argh ...

Fearne cats Charm Person on the Willmaster ... who FAILS to resist! Immediately beckons her back inside the hut, and IT WORKS?!!! Or maybe not? Deception check ... which Ashley completely tanks ... balls ... but at least she thinks SHE'S an ally ...

FCG shoots his grapple at the Willmaster ... 15? It hits? Wow ... damn it, one of the locals just JUMPS IN FRONT OF HER to take it instead! Crap ... so he just ducks up half the damage himself in sympathy ... but they're still hurt! Owwwww ... alive but VERY hurt ...

Orym casts Hex on the Willmaster before attacking for NON LETHAL damage! Nice ... oh, he is BATTERING her hard ... even WITH the Meat Shield? Hmmmm ... two get knocked out in the process ... great ... Action Surge to try and Grapple her head! Thanks to Silvery Barbs from Laudna IT WORKS!!! Sweet! Then an elbow to the face lands more Hex damage! Nice ... she's starting to look ROUGH ...

Sam's flask: "REMINDER! Come up Sith flask idea ..." Oh boy ...

Now Orym's taking attacks ... some of it REALLY HURTS ... then two of them just PHASE out of Ashton's sight ... hmmm ...

Laudna casts Mirror Image on herself ... she's stuck hanging in the air, so unleashes a Ray of Frost on the Willmaster ... half speed now! Nice ... plus 15 Frost damage! ALSO nice ...

The new Exalted pulls Laudna out into the open, then hits her with Blight! Oof ... 33 points of Necrotic damage! Ouch ...

2 of them fire crossbows at Laudna, first misses, second hits! 9 points of piercing damage ... she crit fails her concentration, so she loses her Mirror Image.

Chetney wolfs out snd HEADBUTTS the Willmaster ... instead renders another innocent unconscious ... no more Meat Shield means next hit GETS THROUGH, so 9 points of damage! Phew ...

Ashton charges the Willmaster, Raging Recklessly, hits her with the hammer. 24 to hit! Boom! 22 points of damage and HE GETS THE HDYWTDT!!! POW!!! The Willmaster flues 15 feet and is DOWN!!! Orym rides her doen and lands on top.

Everyone INSTANTLY snaps out of the trance ... so they see the chaos and just SCATTER.

The Shrikes just pause and take a beat to check out their opponents.

Fearne casts Scorching Ray on the fleeing foes and one of yhe Shrikes, takes out the runner, inflicts 9 damage on the Shrike. Then she bamfs out Mister.

Imogen is now entirely MIST. She is now ENTIRELY INCAPABLE of any violence ...

FCG casts Calm Emotions on EVERYBODY he can ... BOTH the Shrikes fail to shake it off. He immediately tells them both to CHILL OUT ... which they do! Crazy ... this is good for a WHOLE MINUTE!!!

Orym turns to the Exalted and flings the Hex at him. Goading Attack! First hit misses, second hits! 19 damage and HE gets the HDYWTDT so the kid is KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!! Now he rushes one of the Shrikes and holds an attack, ready for next round ...

The Shrikes are now trying to run off with the unconscious Willmaster ... great ... Orym gets an attack of Opportunity, trips one and puts him on the floor ... Calm Emotions is GONE and now they're focused on him for next turn.

Laudna chucks some Eldritch Blasts at the Shrikes, first misses, other 2 HIT!!! 15 and 14 points altogether, and she just MERCS the first one on the spot! Oof ... HDYWTDT indeed ... he's just pancaked ... she attacks the other one, but all three shots miss him ... nuts ...

The beasts stampede out of their pen and folk ate now getting caught and trampled! Oof ...

Chetney just throws himself in their path and saves one local, then goes for the remaining Shrike and attacks him with Turmoil while he's still prone. Wow ... he just CRITS the poor bastard ... HDYWTDT!!! He just opens the guy RIGHT UP!!! Oof ...

Just the few runners left ... Ashton gets in front of the stampede instead and grabs some of the locals, pulls them out of the path of the herd.

Fearne casts Scorching Ray on the runners, Crits one and hits the other two. 10 on the Crit, then 9 each on the others. Oh dear ... yeah, one of them just gull blown COMBUSTS on the spot ...

Imogen floats up to check out what's going on beyond their immediate battlefield. It's just chaos, but more are coming.

FCG casts Stone Shape and creates a ramp over him and the local he's protecting sk they herd doesn't trample them.

Orym uses Seedling to grapple the remaining runner and knocks him out of the spot.

Everybody scatters out of yhe path of the stampede. Meanwhile Chetney just SUPLEXES one of them down snd starts EATING IT ALIVE on the spot ... dear gods ...

Looks like that's it ... time to clean up while they have a chance. Hiding bodies as quickly as they can ...

And that's it for the night ... phew ... that was chaos, but thank fuck it turned out all right ...

[obsidiancreates]

Vision Quest Liveblog

Another peaceful forest shot... oh okay Leo is hunting a dear. Guess we're in Mirkwood now.

YEAH SWEETIE YOUR LEG IS STILL HEALING BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE LANDINGS

Oh shit was I right? Mirkwood, magic deer?

Oh it's charging IT FUCKED HIM UP OH SHIT THIS DEER GOT HANDS- HOOVES, I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL

AND ALL LEO HAS IS A "Huh" AND A CUTE FACE?!?!?!

TEACHER RAPH TEACHER RAPH why'd you gotta do those moves first? Was it a warmup thing or just for the dramatic effect?

WH- WHY IS DONNIE STANCED LIKE THAT DID THEY FORGET TO ANIMATE HIM

Kick Casey in the face April DO IT

SHE DID IT HA I love Casey but it was funny

DONNIE STOP IT YOU TWO ARE FRIENDS NOW REMEMBER?!?!?!? STOP CACKLING AT HIM LIKE THAT

YEAH LEO JUST GOT FUCKED UP BY A FUCKING DEER- HE THINKS THIS IS BECAUSE HE SPENDS TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS PHONE AND EATING CHIPS?!?!?!?!? LEO HONEY NO THAT DEEP WAS PROBABLY RABID OR SOME SHIT

Donnie, are you really advocating for Leo's plan here? Or are you just pointing out that Splinter had a similar idea once for accuracy's sake?

"What are we, hippies?!" I'm with Raph this is a bad idea

3 DAYS?!?!?!?!?!

Leo did take one too many kicks to the head, you're exactly right Casey.

NINJA'S ONLY?!?!?!? LEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Casey, April didn' seem to love the shoulder-hug "stuck together" thi- PFFFFFFFT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH DONNIE'S EYES HE LOOKS SO PATHETIC LIKE A WET KITTEN AND HSI OICE WAS SO SMALL AND SAD PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

ICE CREAM KITTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OH SHE'S SO CUTE AND SWEET I LOVE HER

DONNIE FOR FUCK'S SAKE APRIL AND CASEY ARE NOT FUCKING STOP IMPLYING THAT THEY ARE GOD WHY

Leo babe. This is the trauma talking, not a spiritual realization.

UHG NO BURP SOUNDS NO MY HATRED

Ah yes. Treetop meditating. The classic refinement method. Leo's making this up as he goes, I know it.

Mikey I dunno if Being A Squirrel makes you spiritually refined but you do you I guess- oop there's tat squirrel phobia rearing it's head.

Rock carrying????? Yeah Leo's winging this

This music is so peppy!

Oh god Raph knows how to start fires now, we're all doomed

Two Donnie close-up focus shots in a row? Well, I know who's getting in trouble later now.

BLACK HOLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I dunno about Magic Deer Le- oh, I stand corrected, there's a Deer Fae watching them.

PFFFFFT INSTA DEATH ATTACKS- OH FUCK DONNIE HIT RAPH AND DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE OH RAPH'S GOT X EYES WHERE DID DONNIE HIT HIM OH GOD

DONNIE CHILL THE FUCK OUT YOU KEEP WOUNDING YOUR BROTHERS SHEESH

Yeah Mikey, it ran away. BECAUSE YOU ALL ATTACKED IT

BLUE FIRE- SPLINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh he a force ghost okay

Yeah it ran away BECAUSE YOU ALL ATTACKED IT

Sad boys hours

Blue fi-SPLINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH HE A FORCE GHOST NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Won't stand a chance against The Shre- Splinter I think Shredder isn't the main concern right now MAYBE IT'S THE ALIENS ACTUALLY

Um, Splinter? If you downplay disability as Just Mental again I'll finish you off. I know that's not what he meant but that's what he said by accident.

Journey out alo- they ARE training to be Jedi! They're gonna find Darth Vader in a cave!

"Raph, you've got anger issues. Mikey, you've got ADHD. Donnie, you're autistic. Leo, you've got Older Sister Syndrome. This can all be fixed by Being Outside. Yes I am indeed a Boomer/Gen X (IDK which) parent, how can you tell?"

Oh no it can be fixed by sleeping, okay- IF THEY DIE IN THE GAME THEY DIE IN REAL LIFE

THEY'RE FORGING SHIT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! FUCKIN' DWARVES NOW?!?!?!?! YOU'RE IN THE HALLS OF EREBOR NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

RAPH HAS FLAMETHROWER CLAWS NOW OH SHIT WAIT HOW DID THEY- WHERE DID THEY GET THE METAL- WHAT IS- HUH?!?!?!?!?!

DONNIE HAS A FUCKING AXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHAT THE FUCK AND A MASK OH HE'S SO FUCKING JEALOUS OF CASEY

Oh look Mikey actually MADE ARMOR PIECES but again WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GET THE METAL

Andddd Leo is Legolas now.

Oh wow Raph's cheek bits on the new mask look dumb

Hey wait, Donnie's gonna be all fucked up now with the axe though because it throws off the weight balance. Of all of the new weapons, his makes the lease sense for his skillset.

Oh my poor Limping Leo- MAGIC DEER

BRIDGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Shit I think Leo stumbled onto Goatman's Bridge actually

Oh nevermind it's the one The Five fought Tai Lung on in Kung Fu Panda

God Raph looks so fucking dumb- finding a hidden pirate ship? Honey you set out for a spiritual journey, not an Oblivion DLC.

Donnie GPS wouldn't help you on a mountain anyway, there's no signal. Unless it's a pre-loaded thing I guess, he probably takes that into account.

Pffffff he understood that instantly "YOU'RE GONNA- oh wait you guys are ghosts, right."

Pfffffff poor Donnie, always right about the worst things

Oooooh Mikey looks so cuteeeeeeee

You can't do this all day though, Leo, because you only have so many arrows- ooh there goes the bridge, damn this really is the one from Kung Fu Panda

TAKE THEM SPIRIT WORLD BITCHES OUT MIKEY YES- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THIS BITCH RAHZAR IS BACK FUCK OFF- OH HIS LINES GOT COOL

Raph WHEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DID YOU GET THE FLAMETHROWERS AND HOW DID YOU MAKE THEM AND WHY IS THIS ALLOWED ON THE SPIRIT QUEST

AH IT'S FISHFACE

So who's Donnie gonna get then? HE'S FUCKING AXE THEM IN THE CHEST AND THEY DIDN'T TURN INTO POOF CLOUDS LIKE LEO'S DID WHAT THE FUCK

HE HIT THE MOUNTAIN SO HARD IT BROKE PIECES OFF HOW FUCKING STRONG ARE THESE TURTLES DUDE

OH SHIT DONNIE GETS TIGERCLAW OH HE FUCKED HIM UP- pfffft "Does that feel real to you?" "Absolutely."

Hiiiii Shredder, fuck off now- OH HE'S SHAMING LEO FOR BEING DISABLED I MUST KILL

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MIKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Oh wow Donnie just really into Mountain Breaking today, huh?

RAPH'S GONNA FUCKING DROWN SHIT- oh good he's out of the water

LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Is Mikey gonna be the first to master his spiritual stuff? Oh Ice Cream kitty interrupting his thoughts, god relatable I am thinking about my cats 24/7

Mikey's discovering Hyperfixation Mode HE FUCKING DESTROYED HIM WHOOOOOOOO

OH DONNIE NO SWEETHEART- OH TIGERCLAW SPIRIT YOU BITCH

Donnie needs to use the mask to feel unmovable and stand his ground, huh? Perhaps... because when he thinks of those traits, he thinks of Casey? Hmm?

PFFFFFFFF "YOU WILL FALL" OKAY MEGATRON FROM G1

HE DID IT HE THREW HIM OFF Shit and then watched him go down, I wonder if he was expressionless behind the mask or if he was grinning really widely. ... I wanna believe he was grinning.

RAPH SERIOUSLY WHERE AND HOW AND WHEN AND WHAT ARE THESE FLAMING CLAW THINGS WHAT THE FUCK DUDE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU ACTUALLY MAKE THESE YOURSELF?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Well Fishface was easy

YEAH SHREDDER THAT'S HOW BEING WOUNDED WORKS FUCKFACE

LEO YOU CAN JUST ADAPT YOUR STYLE- NO CLIPPING DEER?!??!?!?!?!? FLOATING DEER?!?!?!?!?!!? WE'RE IN SKYRIM NOW?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE THEY REALLY DID THE "IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE" BULLSHIT I NEED TO PUMMEL EACH INDIVIDUAL WRITER OF THIS SHOW AND SEE IF THEY THINK PAIN IS AN EXCUSE AT THE END OF IT

FUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THIS

THE DEER WENT INTO LEO'S BRAIN WHAT

HE WALKED ON THE BLADE PART HIS FEET

OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ARROW IN THE EYEBALL SHIT OW OW OW HATE IT

Doesn't he decapitate Shredder later?

Pfffff Casey and April have been learning how to break boards, meanwhile everyone else got Brand New Action Figure Designs IIIIIII men uhhhh spiritual clarity

Yeah Casey, dumbfounded is right, these guys got intense in those 3 days, shit

Going back to New Yo- baby this whole episode was about Nature and Spiritualism, going back to New York is the last place for either of those things to exist

Also Casey better say something about Donnie's mask in the next few episodes, I need it acknowledged, I need confirmation that Donnie made it because either consciously or subconsciously he associates Immovability and Mountain-Like Strength with Casey "Knocks out a giant mutant rat with his bare fists and fights mutant with nothing but hockey gear" Jones

[blissfullyshipping]

Braids and Misunderstandings (Thorin x Reader)

Requested by @elia-the-bibliophile​: Hi can I request a Thorin x fem human! reader where they’re married with 3 little dwarfling & they’re having a family time in their quarter in Erebor when their children ask them about how they meet each other, maybe it started with a misinterpretation between the 2 of you when you asked for Thorin’s help to braid your long hair but Thorin sees it as an invitation to court you (as per dwarvish custom) thank you!

Fandom: The Hobbit

Warnings: none just a load of toe curling fluff

A/N: I'm backkk. Felt like doing some writing and this request was too cute to not write, although it was a bit hard because I don’t like children and can’t write endings. Anyway hope you like!

Your bedroom is in chaos. Your chambers mess was a result of getting your three children ready for Kili and Tauriel's wedding. The stress of each child changing their outfit three times or kicking their shoes off every five seconds, resulted in clothes lining every surface and shoes scattered haphazardly on the ground. And yet, coming home from the wedding and getting them to bed proves to be an even bigger task for Thorin and you.

"Ouch amad that hurts!" Your youngest, Melva, squeals on your lap as you try to brush her unruly locks.

"I'm sorry ghivashel," you hush her, gently bobbing your knee, "I'm nearly done I promise."

"Tyrig stop tugging your buttons, your mother just sewed them back on!" You look up at Thorin scolding your son, while he struggles to get Elaina into her nightgown.

"There, all done." You announce proudly as you clasp the last bead.

"No! I don't want braids!" Melva cries pulling out the braids you had just finished.

Sighing in exhaustion you pull her hands away from her head. "Good girls have neat braids nathith."

"How come Elaina doesn't have to!"

"Elaina's not ready for bed yet," Your eyes go to her sister, warning her to listen to her father. "She still needs to put her nightgown on and wash her face. Then adad will do her hair."

"Adad can braid hair?" Melva looks up at you, her eyebrows raised.

"Melva!" Thorin exclaims, hands clutching his heart feigning offence making his daughter giggle in your lap. "I taught your amad how to braid!" This gets the attention of all three children and both you and Thorin make use of their distracted state and get them ready for bed as you talk.

"Is that true?" Tyrig asks getting under the sheets.

"Yep," You nod. "Your father and I met because of braiding too."

"What are you telling them now amrâlimê?" Thorin asks coming out of the bathroom with a clean Elaina in his arms.

"Just about how we met."

"Ahh you mean when you proposed to me the first time we spoke."

"What?!" All three children scream in unison, making the two of you laugh.

"That's not true!" Slapping Thorin's chest. "It was just a small misunderstanding." You say as you put the last child in bed.

"What really happened amad?" Elaina asks. You look at the three sleepy dwarflings and back at Thorin who smiles softly, perching next to you on the bed. "If I tell you will you promise to go to sleep straight after."

The three of them nod enthusiastically ready to hear a new story, satisfied with their answer you lean against your husband and begin to retell it.

--

After the destruction of Erebor and your home in Laketown, you had fled with your best friend, Dis Durin, and the rest of her kin. Feeling more at home amongst the dwarves than your own kind.

Your friendship with Dis had grown since your days in Erebor, you were there for the dwarf-woman when her brother died and father left. You were there when the dwarves barely made it to the Iron Hills alive, and you were there when Dis had found her One.

You were ecstatic when she announced her engagement, and asked you to help with wedding preparations. You fulfilled the role of maid of honour proudly, and took it upon yourself to make sure every detail was executed to perfection.

Slipping into the lavender dress you sewed yourself, after finding nothing in the dwarven markets that would fit you for the ceremony, you move onto braiding your hair into the updo Dis had drawn out for you and the bridesmaids.

Brushing your long locks you stare at the drawing in bewilderment, what is it with dwarves and braids? 

Hesitantly, you start off braiding sections of your hair, weaving them together to recreate Dis' design. Thinking you had done well you look in the mirror eyes flicking back to the drawing and sigh at the mess on your head. Untying the braids and restarting again.

But after several tries and aching arms you give up, huffing on your stool in frustration. Not having much time before the wedding begins, you grab the drawing and leave the room to seek help.

You wander frantically around trying to look for anyone who can help, when you finally spot Dis' brother leaving his own room.

You'd never really talked to Thorin before, aside from the polite greetings in corridors or grieving condolences at funerals. You made sure to keep out of the King's way, because even if Dis had profusely told you Thorin didn't mind your company, you still weren't sure if he was okay with a woman joining his kin. Right now, however, you could use all the help you could get.

"Thorin!" You hiss after him, taking in his appearance. He was dressed in his finery making you stop short as you admire him. His hair and beard neatly braided, fur coat sitting proudly on broad shoulders and you can't help but admire the muscle on the dwarf.

When he calls your name you quickly come to your senses and smile bashfully up at him. "I was hoping you would braid my hair for me?" You ask nervously, tugging on a loose lock oblivious to Thorin's crestfallen face.

"I-uh-m-me?" He stutters taken aback by your question.

Having only ever admired you from afar Thorin would never have thought his crush was requited. This was the longest conversation he's had with you, and though he's dreamt of this countless of times he never thought you would propose to him so casually.

"Yes!" You blurt out. "Please Thorin, I can't think of anyone else to do it." You grab his hand in desperation, and Thorin has never felt so conflicted.

"Your hair is always so neatly braided, and Dis told me to recreate this," You wave the drawing in his face "and you know how she is, I just want it to look right."

Thorin gingerly takes the note from your hand, his callous fingers brush against yours, inciting goosebumps to travel up your arm. His eyes flick between the drawing and you, scratching the back of his neck and chuckling in embarrassment, before nodding his head at your wide eyed expression.

"Of course, Y/N." He says softly, leading you into his room.

You try to calm your nerves when you follow the king into his personal chambers, who quickly moves the pile of clothes on his bed, shoving them into a wardrobe.

"Uh- sorry about that. I hadn't really planned on what to wear." He excuses himself sheepishly, face burning when you giggle at his antics.

He moves you to the dressing table, sitting you on the stool and begins lightly raking his fingers through your hair. Your back goes rigid when his fingers tickle the back of your neck.

Thorin can't breathe. Just looking at you through the mirror, hair flowing over your bare shoulders makes his breath hitch. He had only ever seen you with your hair up. And yet here he is, fingers brushing through your long locks, mind cloudy as your lavender smell invades his senses. There is a reason why braiding is an intimate act.

He shakes his head of any impure thoughts and grabs the brush ready to start on the detailed design. Sectioning and braiding he falls into a rhythmic pattern and begins to ease up. Stopping short when he sees you shiver, glancing over to the open window.

"Apologies for the cold y/n, the furs were making me hot." he says breaking the silence, shrugging off his coat and placing it on your shoulders.

You smile and thank him snuggling into the thick fabric that smells of him. You begin to forget it's the king who's standing behind you, and start to relax into his touch, making light conversation and playing with the bits and bobs lying on his dressing table. Or staring at Thorin as he focuses on braiding, hiding your smile when he sticks his tongue out in concentration.

You inspect a box full of beads, recognising them as the ones Thorin wears in his hair. Up close like this, you can tell each intricately carved bead is different. The newer, shinier ones are probably gifts whilst the worn down and smoother beads must be passed down from generation to generation. You wonder if Thorin would allow you to wear one to the wedding and rifle through them.

A particular bead captures your attention, the carving seems slightly rougher than the others but you can see the effort and love put into it. You pluck the bead from the box marvelling at the craftsmanship. Did Thorin make this?

"Ok Y/N I'm nearly done." Thorin says softly, your eyes snap to the mirror and you stare in awe at what he's managed to achieve, finally understanding what Dis' drawing meant.

"Thorin it's beautiful!" You gasp eyes meeting his through the mirror, the beaming smile lighting up your face making Thorin's heart beat a little faster.

"You look beautiful Y/N." He nods in agreement.

You blush heavily and quickly look down so as not to embarrass yourself in front of him. Your attention going back to the bead clasped in your hand.

"Thorin," you gaze back up at him to see him already looking at you, "Could I put this in my hair too? I've always wanted the dwarven beads and you have so many…" You trail off hoping you haven't stepped over the line. You know dwarves take their hair very seriously.

Thorin nods enthusiastically, repeating over and over in his head that you don't know the dwarvish customs, that this isn't you reciprocating his feelings. Even so, his face falls when you turn and place the chosen bead in his hand. What was wrong? Had you overstepped?

 He looks up to see your concerned eyes and clears his throat uncomfortably. "You want this specific one?" He asks tentatively. You nod not knowing if you had done something wrong.

"I didn't mean to offend you," you rush out. "I just thought it looked very pretty, the carving is beautiful did you do it yourself?"

Thorin nods silently and you can feel the awkwardness rising. Clearly it meant a lot to him.

"Actually it's fine. My hair looks beautiful as it is and it was rude of me to ask, I know beads and hair mean a lot to dwarves, I didn't mean to overstep." You apologise reaching for the bead, but Thorin moves his hand away from you, a strained laugh escapes his lips as he does so. You look up at him and see determination replacing his hesitant eyes.

"You truly have no idea on what braiding means, do you." He asks and you shake your head. "To braid someone's hair is to promise to court them."

Oh, that actually makes a lot of sen- OHH! Oh Mahal no! Had you really been this stupid?! Realisation hits you and you apologise profusely to Thorin, the horror evident on your face makes him laugh. "Don't worry Y/N I know you didn't mean it that way."

You look up at Thorin and take in his amused expression. You try to hide your embarrassment and turn on your stool. Avoiding his eyes in the mirror, you allow him to finish your hair.

However Thorin hesitates, deep in thought. His entertained expression falls as he grips the bead tightly in his fist. Do you feel embarrassed about the idea of being courted by him?

"I made this bead when I became of age to start courting." He begins. "It's carved from stone found in the mines back in Erebor. It's rather ordinary, my father was surprised and tried to persuade me to use gems instead. But I insisted because it's a piece of me that I would want to gift my One. It's home."

Thorin's eyes are still on the bead when you look at him, his face marred into a conflicted expression. You turn and thread your hand through his, drawing his attention to you and giving him a rueful smile. You felt touched he was sharing this with you and it spurred confidence within you.

"It's so precious Thorin. Any girl would be honoured to wear it." Your voice hushed as all you can hear is your heart pounding.

I want you to wear it. The sentence seems so simple, so innocent, but stuck on the tip of his tongue. Thorin doesn't know your heart or feelings, he doesn't know how you'll react to him proposing to you or how Laketown men propose to women. How he wishes he could just say it, to see the joy in your eyes when he does. Opening his mouth, struggling to find the right words the sentence tumbles from his lips.

"I want y-"

"Thorin have you seen…" The two of you jump apart when Dis bursts into the room. "Y/N! I've been looking for you! Where have you been?!"

"I-I can't braid hair and that drawing you did was complicated so I got Thorin to do it." You stutter slightly, eyes flying to Thorin who keeps his gaze fixed on his sister, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. What was he going to say?

"I'll finish it off for you later. The florists just got here and he's brought the wrong shade of flowers I mean how difficult is it to…" The soon to be bride carries on ranting, taking you by the arm and leading you out of the room before you can utter a word in reply. You throw an apologetic look to the King before the door shuts behind you.

Thorin slumps onto the stool you had just been sitting on. Raking a hand through his hair he looks down at the courting bead still clutched in his fist. Sighing he places it back into the box and picks up the coat that slipped from your shoulders, your lavender smell still lingering in the fabric. Making himself presentable again he leaves his chambers and goes to help with the last minute wedding preparations, determined to be the first person you dance with.

--

"That's it?!" Tyrig demands hands flying in the air. "You didn't even propose?" The three dwarflings lie in bed unhappy with the ending.

"Yep aunty Dis ruined it all." Thorin says casually earning a whack from you. "What it's true if she wasn't there these three would probably be about two years older." He defends earning another whack.

"Two years?!" The eldest shouts, catching onto your husbands remark. "You waited two years!"

"Timing is everything ghivashel, I regret nothing." You say getting up. "No more questions now, you'll have to save them for breakfast you promised you'd go to sleep remember." This earns a chorus of groans from your children.

Kissing them goodnight you leave their room, Thorin taking your hand as you make your way to clear the rest of the mess in your chamber.

"Did you mean what you said." Thorin whispers into the dead of night, when you're both curled up in bed. "Do you really regret nothing?"

Snuggling into him, wrapping an arm round his neck and giving him a long chaste kiss you lay your head on his chest.

"I wouldn't change a thing. Menu tessu." You whisper back, happily falling asleep after a long and tiring day. You feel Thorin press one last kiss to your hair, before he too gives into the darkness.

And just as you both close your eyes in bliss, your youngest starts crying making you both groan.

Ghivashel = treasure of all treasures

amad/adad/nathith = mother/father/daughter

Amrâlimê = my love

Menu tessu = you mean everything to me

Lotr tagslist: @j25m18c24​ @spooookyscary​ @waddles03​ @bogbody​

[p-artsypants]

I’ll Handle This (12)

In Which Lila Learns about Skyrim

Ao3 | FF.net

Sorry for taking a bit with this chapter. It isn’t even very long. But I was in the hospital recovering from surgery. We’re coming up close to the end of the story, but there’s maybe two more chapters after this. 

(Psst this chapter has hints to the next story I’ll publish after this one...as long as my ideas don’t change lol)

--

Lila was fired. It was immediate when they found out. Everyone sat in class, the lecture normal and lulling everyone into a soft state of sedation. 

Then Lila screamed. The scream was the worst thing Marinette had ever heard. Immediately, everyone turned to look at her in horror. 

She started bawling. Huge gasping sobs of someone who’d been shot. 

“Lila?!” Miss Bustier gasped in shock and concern. “Are you okay?!” 

“I’m so sorry, Miss Bustier!” She wailed. “I just wanted to peek at my email and—and—Mr. Agreste fired me!” 

Plagg had to bite his tongue. He knew she was going to twist this somehow, but her sobbing was so beautiful to see. 

“Oh Lila, I’m so sorry. It hurts a lot to lose a job. Especially when they don’t tell you to your face. That’s no fair.” 

“He-he-he said that Marinette told him that I was making Adrien uncomfortable! She got me fired!” 

Gasps, all around. 

“What?!” Barked Marinette. “I had nothing to do with this!” Not exactly the truth...

“But that’s what Mr. Agreste said!” 

Plagg stood, placing his foot on the seat, the spurs on his cowboy boots ringing with the motion. He put his cowboy hat back on (since Mrs. Bustier had asked him to remove it for violating dress code...again.) “well now. Sounds like we got ourselves in a gosh darn pickle.” 

Nino snorted. 

“Adrien! You never said I made you uncomfortable! Marinette must have lied to your father!” 

He flicked the rim of his hat. “Now slow your roll there, Buckeroo. I know my old man, and even if Marinette was mentioned in his email, it’s likely that he just wanted to place the blame on someone else.” 

Yes, throw the old man under the bus. He still deserves it, even with whole hearted apologies. 

“But you know, I do feel awfully bad for you, Lila. Losing yer job and all. How’s about I make it up to ya? I’ll come sit by you for a while. Keep ya company and cheer you up. Cain’t have gettin’ all akumatized up in here, you reckon?” 

Not that Lila getting akumatized was even a concern anymore. But the world wouldn’t know about Hawkmoth’s surrender until Emilie’s fate was resolved. Adrien’s family deserved that much at least. 

“Oh Adrien!” Lila cried. “You really are such a wonderful friend. But I couldn’t bear to make you move on my behalf. You need to focus on your work.” 

“A cowboy needs to be exceptional at multitasking. That is, as long as Mrs. Brassiere is okay with it.” 

Miss Bustier pinched the bridge of her nose. Usually, she was a very calm and level-headed teacher, compassionate and understanding. But Adrien’s antics were stressing her out massively. “Yes, Adrien, I suppose it’s fine if you move to—what did you call me?”

“Much obliged, Madam. If’en you’ll excuse me...” 

Marinette watched with fascination as Plagg gathered up his materials and moved to the back of the class to sit next to Lila. Then she glanced in her purse, where Tikki and Adrien were hanging out. They both shrugged. 

Due to the retirement of Hawkmoth, Adrien was now allowed to spend time away from the Miraculous without consequence. Plagg assured him that once the final condition was met, no matter where he was, his soul would return to his body. 

So he spent the school day with Tikki, and the evenings with Marinette. It was a sweet deal, and it really gave Adrien the time to bond with her without school or akumas in the way. 

He had even spent the night with her the night before, curled up next to her on her pillow, and purring every time Marinette’s hand glanced his fur. 

Nino leaned back in his seat. “Do you know what he’s up to this time?” 

“No idea...but I am eager to see where this goes.” 

Nino shook his head with a shrug. Two nights ago, when Plagg was arrested, Nino gathered all the money in his savings and went down to the jail to bail him out. 

Only to find out he was already let go. 

So he went back home, and called Adrien’s phone relentlessly, hoping for an answer. 

Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, Chat Noir returned and explained that he was going home now, thanks for having him, he had to watch the mansion because his sort of repentant father was going to Tibet to resurrect his dead wife. 

Nino gave up on logic and understanding, and just made sure Plagg had everything he had brought. 

Now he would wait until the whole situation blew over, and hopefully Adrien himself, in his own body, would explain it all to him. Plagg seemed to oversimplify everything to the point it became vague. 

Marinette, on the other hand, was very curious to see where this was all going. After all, Adrien’s previous tactic of being nice to Lila hadn’t worked. So what was Plagg hoping to gain from the same approach?

Wrassle her with his randomly appointed cowboy charm? 

In science, two classes later, Plagg had elected to sit next to Lila still, despite her protests. 

Marinette was close enough now to hear what Plagg’s master plan was. 

“So there’s like several types of Mer, right? But not like mermaids. This has nothing to do with mermaids. These are mostly elves, but not all. So there’s Dunmer, right? Those are dark elves. And Bosmer, wood elves, and Altmer, high elves. The Falmer are snow elves, but they’re all twisted and savage, because of the Dwemer, which are dwarves!” 

Marinette snorted a bit too loudly, drawing attention from the teacher. 

“Miss Dupain-Cheng, is something funny?” 

“No ma’am, I had a tickle in my sinuses.” 

“Ah, I see. Anyways, as I was saying...” 

Lila always sat in the back of the class, despite her many alleged disabilities. This was probably to get away with the fact that she rarely paid attention during class. 

It was the ideal place for Plagg to harass her and not get caught. 

Poetry in motion. 

“So you get to pick what race you want to be, but you’re always the Dragonborn. Despite the description, you don’t look any different. So a Dragonborn is someone that can devour the souls of dragons so they don’t get resurrected by Alduin. Let me back up, Alduin is an evil dragon that used to rule the world, and he’s resurrecting dragons so he can take over. There’s another dragon though, named Paarthanax, and he’s a good guy. He helps out the Tongues on the Throat of the World. Or the greybeards. Some call them Tongues, but in the game they’re called Graybeards. And the tongues are the monks that teach you to shout. And different shouts teach you different things, right? The dragonborn and the tongues are the only ones that are supposed to know how to shout, but there’s this other dude named Ulfric Stormcloak, and he knows Unrelenting Force, that’s the Fus Ro Da shout I was talking about earlier? He used it to kill high king Torygg to start a war. Oh yeah, so there’s nine holds with Jarls, right—“ 

The day ended, and Lila stood quickly. “Well Adrien, thank you so much for keeping me company today. I’m feeling a lot better. You can move back up to your old spot tomorrow.” 

“Well, you shore are welcome, Pardner. But sittin here in the back has been mighty nice. I think I’ll stay! You don’t mind, do ya? It’s awfully fun to have you as company!” 

Lila’s eye twitched, but she was aware that most of the class was watching them. “Yeah. That’d be...great.” 

“Darn tootin’! Well, you look like you’re in a rush, don’t want to hold you up!” 

“See you tomorrow!” She chirped, before hurrying from the room. As she passed Marinette, a dark look came over her face. The look of someone seething with rage and hatred, but trying to hide it. 

Marinette would have been scared, if Lila hadn’t been dealing with Plagg instead. 

Marinette went home, Tikki and Adrien talking to her from her collar. 

“I don’t know. Plagg was successful with the first two tasks, but I don’t know how he’s going to turn Lila over to the good side.” Marinette mused. 

“I don’t know if he has to. The condition is to just get her to leave me alone. He said he was doing some Pavlovian Jedi mind trick on her.” 

“Well, I sure hope it works. Speaking of, where is Plagg?” 

Adrien’s ears flicked. “He left pretty suddenly after class. I didn’t see him go. Hopefully, he went back to the mansion.” 

“Do you want me to call him?” 

“No, I trust him. He’s got things under control.” 

“Glad to hear it! Ready for snack time?” 

“Oh heck yes!” 

—

Lila had to actively stop herself from stomping all the way home. Frustration rolled off of her in waves, and she mildly wondered why she hadn’t been akumatized yet. 

Adrien Agreste was the most annoying person she had ever met. And oblivious too! He never picked up on any of her subtle hints to get him to shut up! She really didn’t want to be rude, because his friendship looked great on her, but wow. No wonder he didn’t have any friends. No wonder Gabriel was so protective of him. If he wasn’t cute...his personality was like a wet sock. 

And he was weird. Weird mannerisms, weird speech pattern, just weird. Hopefully she could either get used to it, or Adrien would get a clue to stop being so obnoxious. 

Finally, she reached her apartment. 

“Home mom!” She called. 

There was laughter in the kitchen. Her mother had a guest. While not uncommon, there was just a hint of dread that hung in the air. 

Lila walked to the kitchen, only to see Adrien sitting at the table, talking to her mother! How?! How did he beat her here?! How did he know where she lived?! What the hell was he doing?!

“Adrien?” Lila gawked. 

He rubbed his head awkwardly. “Sorry for popping in uninvited. I just...I was worried about you! You’ve been akumatized twice, and I didn’t want it to happen again since you were fired.” 

Lila’s face paled as her mother gave her a stern look. 

“I think you’ve got some explaining to do, Missy. I didn’t know you were modeling. And you never told me about being akumatized!” 

Adrien gasped. “Oh no! She didn’t tell you? I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that was a secret! I won’t say anymore!” 

“Any more?” Mrs. Rossi asked. “There’s more?” 

“Adrien.” Lila bit, in warning. 

“Well...I mean, you knew she was meeting with my father right? Something about being his muse?” 

Mrs. Rossi looked horrified. “What! You were talking to a grown adult man?! Were these visits supervised?!” 

Lila opened her mouth to answer, but Plagg beat her to it. “I don’t think so. Father is a very private person.” 

“Lila Giselle Rossi! You are sooo grounded! No offense to your father, Adrien, but meeting up with an adult man, unsupervised? And to what, be his muse? What does that even mean? It sounds gross!” 

“I swear nothing happened! He just wanted my opinion-”

“On what? What reason would he have to ask a 14 year old’s opinion?”

Plagg winced and looked at Lila. “I’m so sorry, Lila. I came here to help, but...” 

Lila shook with rage. Her mother was a complete pushover and believed everything she said. Now Adrien had sewn the seeds of distrust in her and she wouldn’t get away with any white lies ever again. 

“You’re dead,” She mouthed at Plagg. 

“Adrien, thank you for coming here and telling me all of this. I’m very grateful. But I think it’s best if you head home now. Lila has some chores to do.” 

“I understand, Madam Rossi. Again, I’m really sorry...I just wanted to help.” 

“Oh don’t worry, you did. This is for Lila’s own good.” 

He sheepishly looked to her. “See you tomorrow?” 

Her eye twitched. “Yeah.” 

And Plagg swiftly walked from the apartment, concealing his evil laughter until he got to the door. 

—

The next day at school, Marinette, along with Tikki and Adrien in her bag, arrived at school just a few minutes before the bell rang. 

Plagg was sitting at the front of the room, wearing a Pikachu onesie, and looking absolutely devastated. Nino sat next to him and had a hand over his face, doing his best to conceal whatever emotion he had. 

Everyone else in the room was avoiding them like they had the plague. 

Alya spotted her and came quickly, looping an arm through hers and escorting them out into the hall. “Girl, big news. I know you love Adrien, so this is going to be a blow. But here’s the thing...Lila told us this morning that Adrien came to her house yesterday and told her mom about her modeling job. Apparently, her mom didn’t want her working, and got upset that Lila lied. Adrien’s been insisting that it wasn’t on purpose, but everyone is kind of pissed at him anyway.” 

Marinette said nothing, but bit her lip. She knew that this absolutely was on purpose. 

“I’ll leave your actions up to you, but people are pretty mad at Adrien. Just letting you know.” 

“Who’s side are you taking?” 

Alya scoffed. “None. I’m staying out of this. Both people are in the right. Obviously Sunshine just wanted to prevent her from being akumatized. He was with her all day yesterday. It’s admirable, really.” 

“It is.” Marinette said with a smile. Though she was smiling for a completely different reason. There were no akumatizations anymore. Everyone was safe now. 

“We better get back in there, class will start soon.” 

So they returned. Miss Bustier was in, and ready to begin the lesson. 

Then Plagg raised his hand. 

“Yes Adrien?” 

“Before we start class, I want to say something.” 

“Go ahead, Adrien. The floor is yours.” 

He stood, and looked to Lila in the back of the room. “Lila, I know I apologized yesterday, but I’m really really sorry about outing you to your mom. I had no idea she didn’t know about your rendezvous with my father. I was just really scared that you were going to become akumatized, and I didn’t want that to happen. My friends are all important to me, and losing you would be like ripping out a piece of my heart. Could you ever forgive me?” 

Marinette glanced Nino’s face, which twitched to hide a smile. Then she looked at Lila, who looked calm, but her hands were balled into fists. 

After many breathless minutes, Lila smiled slightly. “I understand, Adrien. Of course you’re still my friend. I treasure you too! I’m sorry I got so mad.” 

“Hugs?” Plagg raised his arms. 

Lila could pretend to be happy and calm, but the paling of her skin could not be hidden. “Hugs!” 

Plagg brought her in for a squeeze, and the class ‘aww’ed at their make up. 

Except Nino, who let out the tiniest snort. 

Marinette flicked open her purse to look at Adrien. He mimed a gagging gesture back. 

And then Plagg took those last couple steps and joined Lila on her bench. No one tried to stop him. No one spoke up and said, “hey, maybe you should give her some space anyway.” 

They just all let poor, socially awkward Adrien push boundaries and take his seat. Because he had apologized so earnestly for trying to help. And she had forgiven him. So everything was fine now. 

Right?

As the lesson started, Marinette paid attention to the teacher. But occasionally, she’d hear the faintest whispers of Adrien’s voice (Plagg’s voice now). 

“...so it’s commonly believed that the Nord’s came from Atmora with Ysgramor, but they believe that they settled Skyrim, so they’re kind of racist to everyone else. But also, the Empire came in out of nowhere and tried to upheave their way of life, and even told them which Gods they were allowed to worship. High King Torygg was playing cordial with the Aldmeri Dominion, and some of the other Jarl’s didn’t like that. So Ulfric Stormcloak, the Jarl of Whiterun shouted him to death. Just like the Dragonborn can. Though it’s never explained why he knows how to do this. So this started a whole civil war…” 

Marinette chanced a glance behind her, and noticed that Lila had her head in her hands, and she looked absolutely miserable.

[wordsablaze]

13/13 - goat string of fate

A Dozen Denials Soulmate-identifiers exist to make things easier unless you’re Jaskier, who’s equally as deep in love as he is in denial. But there’s only so many excuses you can make to avoid the truth… (aka jaskier’s soulmate is definitely a witcher, just not the one he first assumes)

A/N: what we've all been waiting for... undeniable red string of fate, but with goats for eskel's sake ;) @alllthequeenshorses @eskel-loves-lilbleater

previous chapter

-

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!”

Jaskier’s heart breaks.

He knows that Geralt isn’t lying because the words don’t show up on his skin and he knows that Geralt isn’t just saying that for the sake of it because his pulse is as steady as ever under his wrist and he knows that Geralt isn’t thinking with a clouded mind because he can’t feel any intense emotions at the back of his mind.

The only logical conclusion to make is that Geralt really means it.

“See you round,” he says, even though he’s not sure he will.

It’s nowhere near the first time he’s had his heart broken but somehow this time hurts so much more than every other time, probably something to do with the fact that he’s leaving his very soulmate behind as he walks away with blurred vision and wobbly steps.

He doesn’t walk very far, though; he just can’t bring himself to.

-

There is a building on fire.

And there is a witcher trying to help.

Nobody asked him to help and yet he runs into the building because he can hear the panicked heartbeats of four humans inside.

He hands over a frightened child to their mother and runs back in.

He hands over a man to his grateful sister and runs back in.

He hands over a crying girl to her father and runs back in.

There’s one more racing heartbeat inside the building but he can’t find it, it doesn’t belong to anyone he can see, and even though he tries his best because he can’t let anyone die - he just can’t - he has no choice but to leave when the roof caves in and smoke fills the air.

It’s only once he can breathe again that he realises the heartbeat has followed him out.

The last person wasn’t in the fire after all; they’re under his skin.

-

Jaskier doesn’t get the rest of the story from the others in the end.

He wants to - he’s a bard so of course he wants to - but he knows that his own story having just found such a bitter end means that he won’t do the dragon hunt any justice so he leaves its tale to the dwarves.

He’s tired and he kind of wants to cry and he doesn’t know which way he’s meant to go so he doesn’t even try to subtly follow the others back down the mountain. Instead, he walks and walks and walks and hopes he doesn’t fall to his death.

And he doesn’t. But he does stumble over nothing in particular and end up rolling over himself until he hits a tree, gasping for breath and curling around his lute because he doesn’t have any other source of comfort.

The last thought he manages before he drifts off - read: passes out - is that he’s incredibly glad his lute hasn't broken the same way his heart has.

-

There is a funeral.

And there is a witcher trying to mourn.

But there is something giddy in the back of his throat and something bright behind his eyes and something exciting at his fingertips and he cannot focus his emotions.

There is a fight.

And there is a witcher trying to concentrate.

But there is a puzzle in his lungs and a question on the tip of his tongue and a mystery in his every bone and he cannot tell if he knows what move to make next.

There is a festival.

And there is a witcher watching quietly.

But there is a heavy grief in his stomach and a heavy doubt inside his mind and a heavy pain within his blood and he has no idea why his body is telling him to be upset.

-

Jaskier wakes to the taste of oranges.

For some reason, it just makes him want to cry.

“We are not dying on some godsforsaken mountain,” Jaskier mutters to his lute but also to himself because if he is to die, it will not be at the hands of heartbreak.

A lot easier said than done, though, because he ends up lost. Horribly lost. So lost that he wonders if someone had moved him while he was sleeping because there’s no way he could end up so clueless when he’d been pretty close to their original path the day before.

And he’s not unfit but he must have bruised himself more than he can tell while tumbling because he doesn’t get further than the duration of half a dozen ballads before both his muscles and his lungs force him to stop and rest in danger of retiring altogether.

Still, he keeps going. He can’t find anything edible but he hangs onto the taste of oranges from his stolen dream as he pushes forwards, begrudgingly thanking Destiny for giving him at least that from his soulmate.

-

There is a town with a contract.

And there is a witcher who almost regrets accepting it.

The monster is easy enough to defeat, nothing that takes more than a day. No, the monster isn’t the reason he chooses to disappear for almost a month afterwards - that would be the mirror.

Or more specifically, what he sees in the mirror: one of his eyes is the wrong colour.

He thinks he’s delirious at first but one potion and two hours’ worth of meditating later, his eyes are still inexplicably mismatched.

His left eye is the colour of the sky. The colour of the ocean. The colour of a privilege that he was never allowed to have. And he’s read just about enough poetry to know how that means he has a soulmate out there somewhere.

All that does is drown him in a blue hue of guilt.

-

Jaskier has just started playing his third song on the lute when something crashes into his legs.

He yelps, springing to his feet and almost tripping over whatever it is that’d crashed into him, which turns out to be a goat. A goat, of all things.

“Right, well, if you could not do that whole attacking thing again, that’d be great. You have rather pointy horns,” Jaskier huffs, settling on the rock once again.

To its credit, the goat seems to listen, munching on grass instead of stepping on his toes as Jaskier starts playing again. Confused but not entirely against the company, he continues singing about whatever comes to mind until the sky begins to darken and the air turns cold.

He sighs, putting the lute away and gently reaching out to stroke the goat, smiling when it doesn’t just headbutt him and bleats happily before settling in his lap. “At least you seem to want to stick around,” he mumbles.

Too tired to find anywhere more sheltered, Jaskier pulls his doublet tighter around himself and hugs his new best friend as tightly as he dares. For a moment, the goat lifts its head and stares at him and he fears he’s about to have his eye poked out, but then it just burps and settles again.

This time, he falls asleep laughing.

-

There is a hearth.

And there is a witcher sat beside three other witchers.

And despite the warmth of the fire and the warmth of his family, he is cold.

He is colder than he ever is, colder than when he is submerged underwater during a fight or when he is caught unawares in a storm or when he is kicked out of a tavern because he brings down the mood.

There is no explanation for why he is cold because he is home and he is safe and he should be warm but for some reason, he is not.

He is rarely warm.

And if he is warm, he doesn’t understand why.

There is no explanation for why he is warm when passing ruins he’s never seen before or when camping in the middle of nowhere just to be away from people or when being told the last copy of the book he’d been looking for was just sold to someone else.

Eventually, he gets used to the confusion, pulls on a cloak, and moves on.

-

Jaskier is probably losing a few of his marbles.

With nothing better to do, he follows the goat as it travels along a seemingly random path to find nothing in particular, stopping every so often to munch on something or the other.

“I can’t believe I’m following a goat,” he mutters to himself as he brushes grass off his arms, “and it’s not even a cute little baby- what’s a baby goat called? Hmm, I should really know that… Or should I? It’s not like I’ve met any farmers lately. Or anyone, for who am I meant to meet atop a mountain? Well, a goat, apparently.”

Said goat bleats at him as if asking him to hurry up.

“Yes yes, I’m hurrying. Some of us don’t eat grass, you know? Oh, but how would you know when all you can think about is the next patch of moss you’re going to eat? Is that what life is to be, travelling from patch to patch and-? Hey, that could be a wonderful name. I dub thee Patchy, my dearest goat friend,” Jaskier declares, grinning.

Patchy bleats again and headbutts his shin but it’s okay because it doesn’t hurt in the slightest and he only wobbles a little bit.  

“I’m taking that as your approval!”

-

There is a woman.

And there is a witcher lying in bed next to her.

They are both tired and not quite awake and she is gently running her nails along his arms because she has never seen anyone with so many scars.

He is waiting for her to fall asleep but she sits up and frowns, pointing out the words that have appeared on his skin: but I didn’t take any honey.

She must be able to tell he’s just as confused as she is because she gives him a funny look but doesn’t pry, though he leaves in the dead of night while she’s still asleep to avoid any chances of her asking questions.

But the words keep appearing and he ends up with plenty of his own questions anyway.

When he’s mending his armour: it doesn’t even hurt anymore; when he’s hunting: I love you more than I love getting drunk; when he’s brushing his horse: I assure you I have a perfectly good explanation; when he’s buying new gloves: I’m afraid I don’t know you; when he’s stitching up a wound: of course I was given permission to be here.

And on and on and on.

He wonders if this person is even human at times because they seem to lie more in a week than he even talks in a month.

-

Jaskier is exhausted.

“Hey, Patchy, it’s been lovely to know you but I think the time has come to part ways because I simply cannot take another step,” he mutters, leaning against the closest tree and sliding to the floor.

Patchy leaps into his lap with an oddly angry bleat.

Jaskier shrugs, ripping up a bit of grass and letting her eat it off his hand before sighing. “I fear it is indeed my fate to perish here. Perhaps life does grant blessings after all, hmm?”

His stomach rumbles and Patchy seems to take offence, startling and jerking sideways, the goat’s horns catching on his sleeve and causing a panic that leads to a large tear in his doublet and a mercifully smaller tear in his skin.

Still, he winces, pressing a hand onto the cut and half-heartedly glaring at Patchy. “Really? You’re lucky the material is red anyway, you menace.”

He regrets his words when the goat stands, spins on the spot, and makes a strange noise before sprinting away. Somehow, that abrupt departure stings far more than his actual injury.

-

There is an ocean.

And there is a witcher who has never been to the coast for a good reason, and still hasn’t.

He doesn’t belong in this scene, he’s borrowing it from someone else without even knowing how, but he can’t look away from the waves as they brush over the sand and over his toes before retreating once more.

There is a cane.

And there is a witcher who has never suffered this kind of punishment, and still hasn’t.

Although the injuries are not his and the crime - if it even exists - has nothing to do with him, he can’t escape the burning pain and the sharp throbbing as someone makes sure the wood meets its mark, again and again.

There is a cat.

And there is a witcher who has never been able to see one up close, and still hasn’t.

He’s not the one touching the tiny ball of fluff that curls up in his palms, he seems to be experiencing someone else’s amazement, but the feeling of soft fur and quiet purring stays with him for no less than a week.

-

Jaskier is ready to give up.

He truly has no idea where he is or how he’s meant to get back to flat land. The berries he’d found in the morning have done very little to provide him with energy and he’s about to declare himself as food for the wolves or something when he hears bleating.

“Patchy!”

And it is.

The goat barrels into him hard enough to knock him over but he’s too busy trying to hug his horned friend to care. He’s also too busy hugging his horned friend to notice that he’s being watched. That is, until someone clears their throat.

He freezes, looking up.

There’s a very long moment in which his heart drops about a mile into his stomach as he catches sight of a wolf medallion but then he sees the amber eyes and the spiked armour and the hesitant smile and his lungs remember how to work once again.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” Jaskier says, grinning.

The witcher frowns at that, glancing over him in clear concern. Before he can reply, Jaskier looks away to tug his sleeve out of Patchy’s mouth and winces as he pulls on the not quite scab that had developed over the goat-inflicted wound.

“Oh, is he yours?” the witcher asks after a minute, and gods is his voice deep enough to sink into forever.

Jaskier blinks, pulling himself back to the matter at hand before he spirals into a daydream and shaking his head. “I didn’t even know he was a he, to be honest. Thank you for that, by the way, at least I can sing him a more accurate song of gratitude now.”

The witcher chuckles and steps to the side, revealing another, smaller goat that immediately bounds over and settles on his leg; Jaskier has never been so innocently afraid to accidentally move in his life.

“She’s called Lil Bleater,” the witcher says, promptly cursing when said goat starts nibbling on the sleeve Jaskier had just saved from being eaten by Patchy.

“It’s not like I was planning on wearing this doublet again anyway,” Jaskier says, but he still feels incredibly guilty for letting such fine tailoring end up as food for a pair of goats.

-

Eskel has never been so confused.

He feels like he recognises this stranger from somewhere but he can’t place it, the knowledge is almost like smoke slipping between his fingers before he can grasp it properly.

“It looks like it’s seen better days anyway,” he says, immediately regretting it when the other man blinks at him.

But then he laughs - perhaps the nicest laugh Eskel has ever had the pleasure of hearing - and holds out a hand, amusement sparkling in his eyes. Eskel leans forwards to shake his hand but Lil Bleater chooses that moment to get up and charge at him so he steps back and picks her up instead, offering the man an apologetic look.

“Not to worry, my hand will live a little longer without the honour of yours in it. I’m Jaskier, and you have my eternal gratitude for appearing out of nowhere when I was about a day away from forgetting what other people’s voices sound like,” the man says sincerely.

“Jaskier?” Eskel echoes.

He knows Geralt has mentioned this bard in the past and he’d have to be living under a rock not to know of him at all, what with the songs that are sung his way whenever he ventures into more populated towns, but he can’t fathom why someone so famous would be spending his time with a mountain goat.

Jaskier grins up at him. “Ah, so you’ve heard of me! I wish I could say the same but I don’t believe we’ve met before?”

Eskel shakes his head. “I, uh, I don’t do… crowds.”

“You and every other witcher, it seems,” Jaskier says, but he doesn’t sound like he’s trying to insult anyone. If anything, he seems almost sad.

“The crowds seem more like your style, bardling. What are you doing up here?”

The bard opens his mouth to say something before closing it again, then sighs. “I got lost and ended up following a goat until I got even more lost?”

Eskel chuckles, then puts Lil Bleater back on the ground before leaning down and offering Jaskier his hand because it feels odd to continue the conversation while he’s still sitting down. This time, the goats don’t get in the way and he manages to pull them both upright.

-

Jaskier gets about five seconds of being upright before he keels over.

Everything hurts.

The world blurs around him.

His knees hit the floor with a dull thud.

Everything really hurts.

There’s something under his skin.

His body is on fire.

Everything hurts so very much and he has no idea what’s happening and the sky has disappeared altogether and there’s water rushing past his ears and he’s in so much pain and he’s going to die without even having learnt this gorgeous witcher’s name and he can’t feel his hands at all and it’s way too dark and-

“Breathe, Jaskier!”

He already is.

Or maybe he’s not.

He unclenches his jaw and gasps desperately.

“That’s it, just breathe, you’re okay.”

But he’s not.

Or maybe he will be.

He groans and reluctantly peels open his eyes.

“I’ve got you,” the witcher murmurs, and he has; his arms are practically cradled around Jaskier and the two of them are kneeling in a tangle of limbs on the ground.

Jaskier exhales.

“You’re not going to die, I promise. And my name’s Eskel,” the witcher whispers, at which point Jaskier mortifyingly realises he must have been panicking out loud.

Slowly, Jaskier uncurls his limbs.

He stretches his fingers out from where they’d been squeezed into fists and waits for a moment before accepting that whatever the blinding pain had been is over before looking up, intending to thank Eskel.

But Eskel gasps before he can say anything.

And Jaskier immediately panics again, wondering what could possibly be wrong. He doesn’t need to ask though, because Eskel lifts a hand to ever so lightly tracing his finger down the right side of Jaskier’s face and it doesn’t take a genius to work out what he can see.

“No no no no no,” Jaskier breathes frantically, “this cannot be happening.”

He pulls himself out of Eskel’s arms and shakes his head but his gaze lands on his hands as he uses them to balance and his breath hitches. Without wasting a second, he shrugs off his doublet and rolls his sleeves up, eyes widening at the sight of silvery scars he’s never earned, silvery scars he’d once had and once lost.

“No, I- I already know my- Geralt was- is- no, no, no no no no, wait. Wait. This can’t be right, it can’t- it- you can’t- I mean, we can’t be- nope, no no...” Jaskier’s words can’t seem to form themselves properly as he struggles to breathe.

-

Eskel has no idea what’s happening.

Except he does.

There’s only really one explanation for why the marks that had suddenly revealed themselves on Jaskier’s skin are an exact copy of his own scars, there’s only really one explanation for why the colour of Jaskier’s eyes had seemed so familiar, and there’s only really explanation for why he feels like someone has cast igni inside his heart.

Unfortunately, Jaskier doesn’t seem to like that one explanation.

He waits, though. He waits until Jaskier remembers how to inhale and exhale properly before offering the bard a small smile. “I’m sorry.”

Surprisingly, Jaskier looks confused at that. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “I don’t blame you for preferring, uh, Geralt. Or anyone else, for that matter. I wouldn’t want to be stuck with me either.”

Even more surprisingly, Jaskier shuffles closer and punches his arm with a surprising amount of strength, his confusion having been entirely replaced by anger. “I don’t know what in Melitele’s name you think you mean by that but I demand that you stop… thinking it. I’m not- I- I just thought- I’ve spent years, so many years, thinking that I knew and I- I don’t know… I can’t-”

He cuts himself off, his chin wobbling, and Eskel has the inexplicable urge to hug him.

So he does.

Jaskier stiffens for half a second before he seems to forget that he has bones and all but melts into the embrace, burying his head into the crook of Eskel’s neck and throwing his arms around him as if his life depends on it.

Eskel has never felt so pleasantly warm in his life.

He wraps his arms around Jaskier in return and pulls him close, pretending that he can’t hear the sobs the bard is trying so hard to stifle and marvelling at the fact that he gets to hold his soulmate in his arms at all.

His soulmate.

He’d never thought he’d actually get to meet them.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier mumbles eventually.

Eskel pulls back only enough to frown, brushing the tears away from under Jaskier’s eyes before tilting his head to the left. “You have nothing to apologise for.”

-

Jaskier feels like a fool.

He leans into Eskel’s soft touch for a moment before cupping the witcher’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry I never looked for you. I’m sorry I didn’t realise I was wrong. I’m sorry I almost just insulted you. I’m sorry for wasting so much time. I’m just so, so sorry.”

Eskel shrugs. “You didn’t know and I don’t blame you. It’s not your fault. I… I knew and I didn’t try so perhaps I ought to be the one apologising to you.”

But Jaskier did know.

To some extent, at least.

He’s known for long enough that not everything was adding up and he’d ignored it, he’d done nothing about it because he’d been terrified of losing Geralt, of losing his soulmate, of losing a life he’s loved, and it turns out he’s been losing everything he didn’t even know he could have had instead.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier mumbles again, letting his forehead fall against Eskel’s as he closes his eyes.

“How does getting to the nearest inn sound?” Eskel offers.

Jaskier laughs and meets Eskel’s eyes, nodding. “Sounds like a plan I can’t argue with.”

“We’ll start with getting you to a proper bed and then go from there.”

He tries to resist that, he really does, but Jaskier simply cannot stop himself from smirking and raising an eyebrow. “Straight to bed, darling? Aren’t you even going to buy me a drink first?”

The endearingly sheepish look on Eskel’s face is almost worth all the pain.

“Though you really should buy me a drink first, for one reason or the other; I am a little dizzy still,” Jaskier mutters, having forgotten all about that because of the unprecedented pain.

Eskel curses.

Before Jaskier can even process the emotional whiplash, Eskel has lifted him to his feet and turned around, dropping to one knee. “Let’s go.”

Jaskier blinks. “Are you asking me to… climb on your back?”

Eskel turns to look at him with half a smile. “I really don’t think you’re capable of walking more than a mile more without collapsing, Jaskier.”

Well, that’s probably true. He grabs his lute and swings that onto his own back before looping his arms around Eskel’s neck, his legs locking around the witcher’s waist as he stands up effortlessly.

-

Eskel smiles as Jaskier settles on his back as if he were born to do so.

Which, quite possibly, he sort of was.

He smells like the comfort Eskel gets from when the dreams he borrows are good ones and it feels impossible that he gets to experience it in person. But it’s very much not impossible because Jaskier is a steady weight around his waist and on his shoulder and against his neck.

It’s a little overwhelming.

“So you’re the one who was dreaming of a succubus then?” Jaskier asks out of the blue.

Eskel stops walking for a second, narrowly avoids accidentally kicking Lil Bleater, and clears his throat. “Dreaming? No. No, that’s not quite how we spent the night.”

There’s a moment of silence before Jaskier laughs brightly. Eskel can feel the way his shoulders shake with the force of his amusement and it’s almost a miracle that neither of them overbalance.

“You’ll have to elaborate on that at some point, it’s going to make a great song!”

“You want to write songs about the succubi I’ve met?” Eskel asks, confused. Surely the bard could have asked Geralt about them over the years, it’s not like witchers can afford to designate who takes care of which creatures or anything.

But Jaskier snorts, pokes Eskel’s cheek, and shakes his head. “No, I- I want to write songs about… about my soulmate.”

That feels like a confession and Eskel is honoured to have received it. He hums in acknowledgement and gently squeezes one of Jaskier’s legs. “Not to worry, we have all the time in the world.”

“We do?” Jaskier asks.

Shuffling the bard’s weight a little bit, Eskel lifts his right hand so Jaskier can see his wrist and more specifically, the ouroboros etched into it. He hears Jaskier gasp before there are gentle fingers around his arm that almost make him shiver, a warm finger tracing the symbol over and over until Eskel hears quiet sniffling.

It takes a while for Jaskier to exhale softly and give Eskel’s hand back to him, after which he goes back to supporting his weight more evenly. He has plenty of his own questions but he figures it’s best to leave them for later, when they’ve both recovered from the shock.

The town comes into view sooner than expected, or perhaps Eskel had just been unknowingly pushing himself to walk faster because he can feel the way Jaskier’s grip has slowly relaxed to the point where he’s practically just draped over him like a very strange sort of cloak.

As much as he doesn’t want to let go of Jaskier, he has to when they get to the stables. Both goats are more than happy to be secured near Scorpion, who huffs at Jaskier just hard enough to send him stumbling into Eskel’s side with a small yelp.

“I’ve got you,” Eskel chuckles.

-

Jaskier grins.

“That you have,” he agrees, “but have you got a room?”

Nodding, Eskel leads them both back to the inn. But instead of going up the stairs, he guides Jaskier to the table in the corner. “Stay here, I’m going to get some food.”

Jaskier blinks, used to this scenario playing out the other way around. Eskel is gone before he can even think of replying so he just yawns and waits, shuffling over when the witcher returns because if he doesn’t lean against someone, he’s probably going to fall into his meal.

Eskel pauses for a second before sliding into the seat beside him, placing two bowls of stew in front of them. “I know you’re tired but you really should eat.”

“How ever will I repay such kindness?” Jaskier mumbles before following Eskel’s instructions.

Jaskier is immensely grateful that Eskel doesn’t mind being leaned on because almost counterintuitively, eating only makes him want to fall asleep even more. By the time they’re both finished, he can barely keep his eyes open.

“Almost there,” Eskel says, at which point he realises they’re now halfway up the stairs.

Yawning again, Jaskier keeps a tight hold of Eskel’s arm as they get to his room, thrown off when they stop by the door instead of somewhere more suitable for sleeping. “What’s wrong?” he asks, frowning.

Eskel places the lute Jaskier apparently hadn’t been strong enough to carry himself down before gesturing around vaguely. “I didn’t know anyone would be staying with me so…”

Jaskier laughs, throwing his head back. He has no idea what compels him to do so but he cups Eskel’s confused face in his hands and places a soft kiss on his nose. “Eskel, darling, you are literally my soulmate. I think we’ll be alright sharing a bed.”

He can actually feel the way Eskel smiles under his hands and can’t help grinning back, but then his knees decide to buckle for no apparent reason - aside from the general exhaustion and probably clumsy bruises, of course - and Eskel is once again the only thing keeping him upright.

He’s not entirely sure what the sequence of events is after that but he doesn’t care to puzzle over it because he ends up with his head on an actual pillow and Eskel’s arms around him and he’s never felt so comfortable and safe and content in his life.

“Don’t leave without me,” Jaskier mumbles even as he can feel himself drifting off, only slightly embarrassed at being so obvious about it.

Eskel hums quietly and brushes the pad of his thumb over Jaskier’s cheek before moving his hair away from his forehead, smiling softly as their eyes meet. “I would never even think of it,” he promises.

And somehow, despite everything else in his life that’s somehow gone wrong and fallen apart and proven that perhaps he shouldn’t be so blindly trusting of what he thinks may be the truth even if he has plenty of reasons to believe otherwise, Jaskier can't bring himself to doubt the witcher’s words even in the slightest.

If there’s one thing he knows, it’s that Eskel has always been his destiny.

-

i apologise if this finale was a little messy because i was indecisive and couldn't choose just one pov but i am so hyped to have finished !!! i hope this ending was worth all the chaos <3

-

thanks for reading! masterlist | witcher blog: @itsjaskier

[mithrilhearts]

For the commentary thing! That reunion scene at the end of your latest chapter of May Your Forge Burn Bright 💖 I'm still living for that

May Your Forge Burn Bright - Chapter 9 The Reunion, you got it!

Commentary & scene under the cut - spoilers ahead

It was easier to walk with the wind than against it, but regardless of how fast Bilbo’s feet carried him, he was no match for a thunderstorm. Between the bone-shaking rumbles overhead and the blinding rain, it would be a miracle to make it halfway back to Ered Luin without crumbling or being swept away by the wind itself.

Wiping his sleeve against his eyes to try and get some of the water out of them, Bilbo wasn’t sure whether it was rainwater or tears that he was swiping away, but he certainly looked like a picture of perfect misery, and felt like one too! Soaked to the bone, stuck in a terrifying situation with no shelter, but there was a determined streak about him. Regardless of what he was putting up with now, he had all intentions to fix things with Thorin. If that meant they never completed their hillside conversation, then so be it. So long as the dwarf was in his life, then that was what mattered.

Another strike of lightning, that was far too close, hit one of the trees overhead, causing the tree to split down the trunk and for a good chunk of branches to start falling in Bilbo’s general direction. Not that he could hear or see it thanks to the sounds of the storm.

With his eyes screwed closed so tightly and keeping a sleeve over his face to protect himself from the rain, Bilbo didn’t see the oncoming form that got a firm grip on the front of his waistcoat and yanked him forward several paces and out of the way with a mighty yelp. It almost felt as if a wild animal had gotten a hold of him and Bilbo immediately tried to scramble, but the loud sound of part of a tree hitting the ground behind him had him prying open his eyes. Not to mention, he had been enveloped into a grip he was only vaguely familiar with.

Me, thinking to myself, how can I really make Bilbo M I S E R A B L E? Throw him into a storm, because we all know by now that he hates the damn things. This is probably his worst nightmare. YES, GOOD. I know, I know, I'm a monster. I've been told this a time or two.

Me, who doesn't watch romantic movies or read romance novels, etc. What's the best way to set up a reunion? See above. Put Bilbo in a terrifying situation and let him get saved at the last second. First I was thinking of like, maybe a wolf or orc attack, but if you've read Dragonhearted, Thorin already got to save Bilbo from wargs.

This whole damn scene was made up on the fly and I'm insanely proud of it. Moving on.

Hazel eyes tried to fight against the rain, but the water stopped for just a moment as a coat was being held over his head to block some of the weather, and it allowed Bilbo to look at what could have been his end. Being crushed under the force of falling branches...and yet…? “Thorin!” How? Why? Did Bilbo actually get knocked around so hard that he was stuck in a dream?

No, dreams didn’t feel that warm.

“You’re a foolish creature and should know better than to storm off by yourself!” Thorin scolded over the howling of the wind, a scowl to his face as he looked just as Bilbo remembered whenever these moods struck the dwarf. Unpleasant. “You could have been killed, I promised to keep you safe…” And Thorin would not let that promise fall through.

“You came for me…” Bilbo murmured, though unable to be heard over the sounds of rain and wind. Thorin’s coat might have acted as a decent enough shield against the actual rainwater, but it was nothing for the sounds. “I was on my way back! I needed to apologize for what I said, and I’m not sure how else I can express that. From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry-”

“Maralmizu, Bilbo."

Bilbo’s ears twitched before dropping. Now was not the time for secrecy, they could play that game once they were out of this vicious weather. Not to mention, Bilbo had been trying to give a heartfelt apology. An annoyed huff came from the hobbit as he continued to stare at Thorin, caring less and less about thunder and lightning as the seconds ticked by. “What does that even mean, Thorin?” Though asking a dwarf to reveal their secrets was like trying to move a mountain with your bare hands.

“I love you,” Thorin was far gentler this time than the scolding he had started with, staring at Bilbo’s wide hazel eyes. “And I have for some time now and just...too afraid to say it. Too afraid that being me might scare you off, and it did...but I-”

“Oh, you really are a stupid dwarf!” That bold Tookish behavior was finding its way to the surface once more, no longer hiding in fear from a few unsavory blokes from Bree. Wrapping his hands around both of Thorin’s braids and standing on his toes, it didn’t take much guidance from Bilbo’s small tug for their lips to meet with eyes fluttering closed.

It felt like a missing piece had finally been slotted into place.

FINALLY. I'm so glad this hurdle has been addressed. Even I was getting like...okay boys, it's time to be honest here, have that talk, give the ol' smoochy smooch and let's move on! I wanted it to be something I hadn't read before, and maybe it's a little cliche with hollywood but hey, rain kisses are cute, aren't they?! Let them kiss - THORIN USING HIS WORDS. Look, I don't wanna sound cocky or complacent, but this scene had even me melting into a puddle of goo.

It's always nice when the writer loves their work, right???

I needed a memorable scene. Bilbo's afraid of storms, his life gets saved, and rain kiss. All perfect things for a perfect scene and it is one of my finer moments. Sometimes all it takes is a terrifying push to get someone to take that step. We got the kiss that I denied everyone in a few chapters previously, though let's be real, the fireflies would have been much better than lightning and rain water.

All that mutual pining and worrying about baggage and burdens was for nothing. It was irrelevant and could be tossed down the mountainside. Thorin wasn’t sure when the last time he had felt so light was. Was this what tossing your cares aside felt like?

Still keeping one arm up with the side of his coat as a shield from a good portion of the rain, Thorin’s other hand carefully cupped just below Bilbo’s jaw, rubbing a thumb across the small and barely visible cleft of that smooth chin.

Bilbo was the first to pull back, and found his cheeks aflame with Thorin inching forward as if to chase those lips before their eyes locked again. “As romantic as a kiss in the rain is…can we please go home?”

Was it too sappy to declare that a location didn’t make a home, but a person did?

“You’re my home,” Apparently not sappy enough for Thorin to spill the words. Funny how one small gesture removed an entire emotional blockade that he had been trying to keep up all this time.

Bilbo hummed slightly in delight at the words, giving a firm nod in agreement. “You’re my home too.” Dropping back to his normal height instead of being raised on his toes, Bilbo moved to lace his hand with Thorin’s free one. “Let’s get out of this storm then. I’d rather not catch a cold in all of this.”

Thorin couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at the idea of being sick. “Alright, but only because I’m not sure how susceptible hobbits are to colds. We dwarves are made of sterner stuff.”

Somehow, Bilbo didn’t quite believe that.

THE THEME OF THE STORY HAS HIT.

Home is where the heart is - it's one of my favorite themes to follow, or messages to send. Home isn't a place, it's the people you surround yourself with that make you the happiest. Whether that's family, a significant other, your best friends, that's what makes home. For these two, home has never been 'The Shire' or 'Ered Luin' or whatever places they've rested their head. I'm glad they both finally see that, and it's a message I like to put in a fair amount of my pieces, alongside some others.

And of course, another consistency that I love bringing into my pieces, Made of Sterner Stuff - based off of a one shot I did early on when posting my fics. Sick Thorin? Yes please. Plus, it's very fun to make fun of as he most certainly is not made of sterner stuff. Bilbo being the realistic one though and urging them to get out of the storm even thought it's "romantic and rainy"? That would be me.

This is nice and all, but...how about no?

As I said before, I wanted a scene you could picture, and one that would be remembered. Something that lived up to the epic expectations of Bagginshield and them finally spitting out the words we've been cheering them on to say. It might not be FIREFLIES and NORTHERN LIGHTS, but I sure as heck and happy with it and enjoy rereading it.

[moony-artnstuff]

Skin-changer

Pairing: Kili x Reader

Note: @writing-fortolkein​ here is your request, sorry that this took so long! This is my first time writing for Kili, so I would love to hear your feedback on what I did right and on what I should work more! I hope you like it!

“The dawn will take you all!” you heard Gandalf’s voice say, before a blinding flash of light followed, turning the trolls into stone. You let out a sigh of relief, as the dwarves around you cheered, none of you would be eaten by trolls, at least not today.

“Do you need a hand?’‘ you looked to your left and were met with Kili’s grinning face. He had already gotten out of his sack and was now offering to help you with your own.

“A hand would be nice.” you grinned back, and he helped you out of the smelly bag and onto your feet.

“We found a troll cave!” you heard someone shout, and both you and Kili went to look. There was indeed a troll cave hidden within the trees. Thorin, Nori, Gloìn, Bofur, Dwalin and Gandalf went in to investigate. You wanted to come too, untill you were met with the disgusting smell. It was already bad to those with normal noses, but with your enhanced senses it was unbearable, so you sat down on a rock a small distance away from the entrance. You hadn’t told anyone in the company yet that you were a skin-changer. Skin-changers were very rare, and for all they knew you were just a normal dwarrowdam. You wondered what would happen if they’d find out. Would they think less of you? Would Kili think less of you? Your heart sank at the thought. No, you told yourself, Kili wouldn’t do such a thing. You had come to like the young dwarf-prince, even more than you would like to admit. He was kind, funny, charming and he could be such a sweetheart. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice a figure sitting next to you and calling out your name. When you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder you let out a small yelp.

“Whoops, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.” Kili said, raising his hands in an apologetic way.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s okay.” you answered a bit sheepish.

‘‘You seemed pretty lost in thought, are you okay? What were you thinking about?’‘

‘‘Um... nothing.’‘ you said, and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. 

“Come ooon,” Kili whined playfully, “I promise I won’t tell. I’m great at keeping secrets!”

“Is that so?” you mused, and he hummed in response.

“I’ve never spilled a secret in my life! Not even when Fili told me he secretly borrowed one of Dwalin’s blades and then lost it- wait.” and you laughed when Kili realized he just spilled his brother’s secret.

“Don’t tell him I told you that.” he said.

“Don’t worry,” you grinned, “I’m great at keeping secrets.” and you winked at him, making him chuckle.

Gandalf and the others got out of the cave when suddenly distressed yelling could be heard coming your way, and not even a few seconds later an old man on a sled pulled by rabbits appeared. You learned his name was Radagast and that you were being hunted down by orcs. Before you knew it you were on the move.

You could hear the growls and howls of the wargs as they chased the brown wizard, while Gandalf led you to who knows where. As you were running through the fields you had to hide behind rocks and trees in order not to be seen. You were hiding behind a particularly big rock when you heard growling right above your head. Your breath hitched in your throat and your heart was beating so loud you were sure the orc could hear it. From the corner of your eye you could see Kili carefully notching an arrow and then swiftly shooting it in the wargs chest making the beast tumble down after which it was quickly killed by Dwalin while Nori took down it’s rider, but it was already too late. The rest of the pack had heard you.

“RUN!” Gandalf yelled, but it was futile. You could see more orcs appearing from everywhere and you knew the company was being surrounded, so you did the only thing you could think of. You changed. You started to become bigger as a dark blonde fur replaced your s/c skin, your h/c hair growing into mane and your hands turned into paws with claws, and when Kili turned around and met your e/c orbs, he realized they were no longer yours, but those of a lion. You let out a bone-rattling roar, and then ran straight to the nearest orc taking both it and the warg down, ripping them to pieces, immediately moving on to the next one. Kili tried to cover you as best as he could by shooting down the riders that were trying to attack you from behind.

“Here you fools!” Gandalf yelled, before you saw him disappear in what you realized was a secret passage. You kept on fighting orcs until you were sure everyone had entered the passage, and only then you made way for the entrance, turning back into your dwarven form right before you tumbled down the hole and being caught by Kili’s awaiting arms. Outside you could hear a horn being blown and arrows being shot when all of a sudden an orc came falling down landing right before your feet. It was dead.

“I can’t see where the path leads,” Dwalin said, “do we follow it or no?”

“Follow it, of course!” Bofur answered, and you all started walking down the narrow passway. It was a wonder no one got stuck. You were walking at the back of the group when Kili joined you. It was quiet for a moment, then he spoke up.

“So, a lion skin-changer huh?”

“Um... yeah.” you mumbled, keeping your gaze fixed on the ground.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kili inquiered.

“Because... because I thought that maybe you would think less of me if you knew I was a halfbreed.”

“What? Are you crazy? I would never think such a thing! If anything I thought you were amazing out there!” At that your head shot up, and when you looked into his chocolate brown eyes all you saw was mirth and curiosity.

“You mean it?” you asked.

“Of course I mean it! The way you took down those orcs like it was nothing was so awesome! And it seems like you are cute as both a lion and a dwarrowdam.” and he winked at you, making the heat return to your cheeks. Maybe telling Kili you were a skin-changer wouldn’t have been so bad after all.

[tyunniverse]

TXT x DISNEY Halloween Shorts 🎃 (2/5)

pairing: ot5 x reader

genre: fluff, crack, college au

warnings: light swearing

synopsis: there's a halloween event at your uni and a few students are in the mood for misfit.

yeonjun | soobin | beomgyu | taehyun | hueningkai

SOOBIN | Snow White (1.5k)

The streets of the university were busier than usual, with various departments and classes loitering around the campus holding their own events for the Halloween festivities tonight. Your class decided to keep things simple, stating that you're already working hard enough with your studies so why not use this time to relax and well, not do much despite still participating. Yeah, that's it. You couldn't agree more.

So the entire class opted to hand out free candied apples to those that can recite the names of all seven dwarves in Snow White. It was that or going out dressed as said dwarves while aggressively singing the Heigh Ho song as you went around the campus. Although, you did spot a few classmates of yours earlier wearing dwarf costumes but then again you could've just been seeing things. Too much candied apples, you think.

“Y/N, let's head over there. A lot of people are gathering.” Your classmate, Soojin, tells you and the two of you follow your other classmates towards the crowd.

Soojin takes out a sign printed on paper that read: Free Candied Apples. It didn't even say anything about the condition in order to earn them, and lacked any indication that this was for a Halloween event. Perhaps your classmates took the “Let's take it easy.” advice too seriously. You ponder whether or not people would actually accept your sweet treats.

“Free food?” A guy with pink hair, carrying a huge duffel bag walks by and takes a look at the sign before eyeing the tray of candied apples in your hands. “Looks good. Don't mind if I do then.” He grins and was about to take one of the apples when Soojin grabs his hand.

“You get one if you can recite the names of all the seven dwarves in Snow White.” Soojin deadpans.

The guy retracts his hand. “The only dwarf I know is that Duck guy but oh well.” He sighs. One last look at the apples and the guy was scurrying away.

You look at Soojin and giggle. “I'm pretty sure he meant Doc.”

“He didn't even try.”

You tell Soojin that you'll roam around for a while to hopefully find more people who're interested for a quick bite. “Free Candied Apples if you can name all seven dwarves in Snow White!” You announce, repeating it twice for good measure.

From the corner of your eye, you spot a guy with blue hair fast approaching. You pretend not to see him until he called out.

“Hey!” The guy greets, now grinning in front of you. “These candied apples are free, right?”

You give him a look over and notice that he was already carrying around a bunch of goodies that you assume were also from other classes that were handing out free stuff. This guy was on a roll.

“Yup. If you can tell me the names of all seven dwarves then you get a free apple.” You smile back at him.

“That's easy.” The guy's smile grows wider with confidence. He must be the first person you've encountered tonight who looked so prepared to answer.

Soojin quickly calls your attention from afar, waving her hands frantically before pointing at the folder sticking out of the paper bag you'd brought along. “Oh!” You put the tray down on the bench and take out the folder, opening it. You look back at the guy with yet another smile. “Since you look like you can actually win this, I'm gonna have to write your name here on our customers list. Can you tell me your first name and department?”

“Soobin, Nursing Department.”

“Alright, thank you.” You say, writing his name before putting the folder back in the bag. “Okay, Soobin.”

The guy, Soobin, perks up after hearing his name. His eyes flutter towards the tray of candied apples that you were now holding.

“A dree apple in exchange for the seven dwa—.”

“Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Happy, and Dopy.”

“...” A laugh escapes you when he started enumerating. You thought it was cute how he was too excited to even let you finish. “Impressive.” You tell him.

Soobin smirks, feeling pretty proud himself. “I memorized their names today in the shower. You never know when you're gonna need it during events like this, right?” He winks and you can't help but notice the dimple on his cheek. That just made him ten times cuter than he already was. You doubt he actually memorized their names in the shower though. From the looks of it, he might've been a Disney fan since he was a kid.

“Go ahead, pick one. You deserve it.” You raise the tray higher and Soobin happily takes the one in the middle.

He was about to say something as he took the apple when the two of you hear a faint chanting in the distance that got louder and louder as the seconds pass.

“You think there's some sort of performance going on?” Soobin asks but you couldn't quite hear him over the chanting.

“What?” You lean in closer and so does he.

“Is there a performance going on?” He asks, his voice a bit louder than before.

“I—”

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

It's home from work we go

In an instant, you were surrounded by a group of seven dwarves whose faces looked far too familiar for you not to notice. They're circling around you and Soobin, continuously chanting the song lyrics aggressively.

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

It's home from work we go

It didn't take a few seconds for you to piece together that these were your classmates who'd suggested the whole dwarf idea in the class meeting. Looks like they really wanted to do the thing afterall. But they weren't the only ones who'd gone against the class agreement tonight.

A mischievous grin creeps up your lips as you eye Soobin, naïvely chuckling at your classmates' buffoonery. Poor guy just had to pick the one in the middle, you thought.

There was a reason why you'd separated from Soojin earlier. And it was to switch one of the candied apples with one you'd personally tampered with. You'd gone through numerous trials and errors this morning but you'd finally succeeded in hiding a gummy worm inside an apple, and now that apple was in Soobin's hands. It was Halloween afterall, a little scare prank should be okay, right?

You eagerly watch as Soobin takes a bite, his attention still on your classmates, not noticing the gummy worm that had sprung out.

“Soobin!” You call out to him, hoping he'd hear you despite of your classmates' loud chants.

Soobin turns to face you and smiles, still chewing on the piece he just bit off. “Yes?”

“How does it taste?” You ask, trying your best not to sound too obvious.

Soobin continues to chew on the apple, thinking that the texture felt a little odd. As if something unfamiliar was mixed along the snack. “It tastes great.” He says despite the odd feeling in his mouth. “I'm a huge fan of caramel.”

He wished caramel and apple were the only things he tasted in his mouth right now but there was something else. A taste that he couldn't quite describe.

“That's good to hear. We put in a lot of effort in making them tonight.” Well, you put a lot of effort in inserting the gummy worm but he'll find out about that soon. “We especially wanted it to look right.”

“Looks and tastes pretty good to me.” Soobin says, looking down at the treat in his hand. His eyes widen when he spots something small in the middle, moving around in a swaying motion. The weird texture in his mouth, the unfamiliar taste mixed in with the caramel, and now this thing inside the apple— this thing that had its head bitten off of it's body— Soobin was quite sure of it. He had eaten a worm.

A worm.

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

It's home from work we go

“Soobin, is something wrong?” You couldn't hold back the grin in your face.

Soobin looks at you and then back at the apple. “I think I'm gonna—”

He wasn't able to finish his sentence the apple falls from his hand and onto the ground, his body soon following after. One of your classmates manages to catch him and you put the tray down and hurry to his side.

“Oh shit. I think he fainted.” Your classmate tells you and you gulp. “We'll get him to the infirmary.”

In a split second, all seven dwarves were huddled around Soobin, hoisting him up and quickly maneuvering their way towards the infirmary. You were about to run after them when Soojin approaches you, Soobin's candied apple in her hand.

“Care to explain?” She dangles the piece of fruit in front of you and you frown.

Perhaps putting gummy worms in apples was a bad idea after all.

Soobin furrows his brows, feeling quite uncomfortable with the amount of arms holding his body up while taking him towards who knows where. He makes a mental note to himself: stop playing fainting pranks on people.

[idjitlili]

Carol’s cookies

Lindir x reader

Request: @ifitaketwomoresteps​  said:

Hmmmm another request for a certain chestnut haired cinnamon roll named lindir? I really need some lindir fluff, not feelin too great.

I hope you are feeling better, I myself am not sleeping at all lately ,and my stomach is always upside down,it is horrible.

Summary:Being an elf that lived in the forests with your parents ,until they decided you need to get out ,by delivering some of your mothers pottery's to Rivendell, only to meet some dudes.

Word count:2058

Translations: ellen=female elf ellon=male elf nana=mother nin meleth=my love

You had been traveling to Rivendell for the past two days,with your horse and wagon,and in honesty ,you wished that your mother hadn't sent you. Do you realise how horrible it is to pee in a bush ,and you have to rush ,just in case someone steals your horse and your shit? It is terrible ,I tell you. You really disliked talking to other people especially people you did not know. Your mother had recieved a letter from Lord Elrond of Rivendell informing her that he would like some her pottery work.

You see your mother,father and Elrond used to been very close,your mother being one of the finest clay moulders he had ever seen in all his years, and your father being apart of the guard. Unfortantely your mother and father fell in love ,however there families forbid it ,so the left ,your mother already pregnant with you,she was young for an elf too, they eloped quickly.

Therefore you were brought up with barely any contact with others, your father would take you hunting for your dinner ,he had taught you how to defend yourself. Your home was small,but it was all you needed as afamily of three. Plus it was all you knew, so yeah,anyways you were indeed nervous to meet other elves.

It's not like you hadn't met anyone else apart from your parents ,they would take you one their delivery trips ,but you rarely talked to anyone. Though once when you were very young you had brought to Rivendell,to meet your grandparents. Uh yeah it didn't go well bringing your two sets of grandparents together ,however when you were just alone with your mothers parents they adored you ,but their hatred for your fathers parents were still clear.

Anyways this visit allowed you to meet an elfling like you,though with long chestnut hair,shy as were you. JUst a pair of introvets. You had been sat near a tree in the gardens ,with a bunch of cookies ;that you had baked with your father before the trip,looking at the clounds ,munching on your cookies. When a figure had approached you ,you hadn't even heard them approach you.

"oh..uh.hi.I didn't mean to disturb you,sorry" the acorn haired elf had stuttered nervously ,infront of the cute girl he had stumbled upon,you had looked up to see a cute elf turning to leave,you really did want to make friends , like your parents wanted. "oh you didn't- do you want to sit and have a cookie I m-mean you don't have to if you dont want to.."  the elf had  turned slightly around with a big grin on his young face ,nodding eagerly,before sitting down with you.

Thus began your life long friendship with Lindir.

You would write letters back to each other ,due to you living far away ,plus rarely visiting Rivendell.

By the time you were arriving at Rivendell with your mothers pottery, the last time you had seen Lindir was 400 hundred years ago ,you were now 600 years old still young ,but now was considered an adult. So when you arrived at Rivendell and Lindir had greeted you not recognising you,it was understandable you had grown into your looks ,well elf puberty hit you basically.  Lindir had grown two feet taller at least,his cheekbones much more defined ,his hair now neatly styled.

"Lindir?" you had whispered ,as he had welcomed you into Rivendell,his eyes searched your face ,brightening and widening when he had realised that it was indeed you."y/n?" he had questioned ,with that you had placed the crate of vases ,plates and cups on the ground carefully before embracing Lindir into a tight hug. In which he returns instantly ,you stayed like that for a few minutes before you both pull away. "i almost didn't recognise you,my lady,you have grown into a fine ellen." he had spoken smoothly taking in your figure,making a small blush appear on your face.

"as have you grown into a handsome ellon,but please ,just y/n, we have been friends for centuries.",youu had spoke grinning at your bestfriend, it was no lie as you grew , you had developed feelings for the shy elf. Even if you both rarely saw each other,those feelings were there for both of you ,even if the other didn't know."why have you journeyed to Rivendell" Lindir had spoken trying to act as if he hadn't blushed at you comlipment. "apparently I needed to get out more, thus here I am with the pottery that Lord Elrond had requested from my mother."Lindir had chuckled lighty ,picking up the crate of pottery,carefully in on arm,offering you the other.

In which you had taken ,looping your arm in his ,as he guided you towards where ever Lord Elrond was. "So that you are aware, Lord Elrond has guests..small ones." you didn't even get to question his words, soon you were upon them. Your eyes widen in surprise ,as they catch the sight of a bunch of dwarves, Elrond dinning with them and wizard , and one wearing no shoes and big hairy feet? Yet soon Elrond had risen from his feet ,approaching you and Lindir ,with a polite smile on his face. "Ah , Lady Y/n,It is lovely to see you again ,I assume you have brought your mothers beautiful pottery work?" you had nodded shyly with a small smile,gesturing to the crate Lindir held in his arms.

"Thank you for delivering them for me ,the items for your mother while be loaded in your wagon by the morning. Now if you will be so kind ,Lindir, will you take these to my study ,then accompany Lady Y/n to her room , and maybe give her a tour of Rivendell ,it has been a long time,since her last visit." he had spoken quickly , not wanting to keep the unpatient dwarves,that were already eyeing you up. "Yes ,it would be my pleasure ,my Lord."  Lindirs words quiet ,as your arm was still tightly clutched onto Lindir ,you didn't like the attention the dwarves were giving you at all.

"It was a pleasure to see you again ,my lady." he had bowed his head at you , in which you did the same '' as to you my Lord." and with that Lindir had lead you away from the glawking dwarves  to drop off the pottery.  Another elf had already dropping your backpack off ,with your overnight supplies  in them.

Lindir had opened the  pine door leading you into a room ,in which sat your bag at the end of the bed. "If you want to settle in have a bath and such ,I shall be back in an hour with dinner, I could have dinner with you ,o-only that is if you want,so you don't dine alone..?" blush painted on his cheeks,as did yours,looking into his bark coloured eyes . "Yes, I would love that." Lindir had smiled brightly ,turning to leave ,only for you to turn him back around hugging him tightly ,head in his chest.

"I have misssed you.." you had muffed into his shirt,he had stroked your h/c hair with his soft palm,before replying "As have I missed you...Nin Meleth" he had whispered my love ,so quietly ,like 110% more quietly than normally. Before he had pulled away ,to go get you some food ,while you bathed.

In fact you had finished much earler than expected ,so you had decided to take a walk in the gardens. Only for two dwarves,one brunette the other with hair like an lions ,to approach you almost straight away,they were handsome indeed ,but at least a head shorter than you. You was only wearing trousers and blouse type shirt nothing special.Before you could even say anything that had.

"Fili.."

"Kili"

"at your service." the blond one had joined in with his younger brother in before they both bowed to you,you just stared but quietly responding "Y/n .." you weren't sure what to say in honesty,their grins were large,you were nervous you hadn't had a personal experience with dwarves. "y/n? that is a beautiful name for a beautiful elf maiden." you had blushed ,at the brunettes words,Fili had chuckled. "as are KIli and Fili, let me guess your dads name is vili." you had sassed you really was hungry, just wanted to find Lindir and you didn't some dwarves trying to bed your or fall in love.

Their eyes had widened gasping in shock " how did you know?" the blond one had finally spoken up ,"shes obviously psychic,brother." you had giggled at them ,and King Thranduil said dwarves were terrible.  Father wasn't right about that , okay so he wasn't your actually father ,forgot to mention, your father had been slaughted horribly infront of you ,so your mother and you had seeked safety with Thranduil for a while ,until it turns out your father survived and finally found you 5o years later. Thus you moved to a different forest a safer one ,mirkwood wasn't the shit.

"awwwe brother ,isn't she a beauty?"

"Indeed ,Kili." you had flashed with a blush ,staring at your feet again "thank you." you had whispered ,still looking at the floor until a hand touched your shoulder,making jump ,tripping over your feet only to be caught,looking up to see a certain chestnut haired elf,you had blushed again,as he set you back on your feet."Why do you wait so light,,its clear I do not have the hearing nor the grace of an elf ,it is clear that you do." you spoken still in shock  from him scaring you to death. "that is not true,I just came to find you to take you for dinner." he had smiled down to you whilst the dwarves watched intensely. "I think they are  courting first she flirted with him then he has made her dinner in that balcony ,too bad  the other dwarves have already eaten it.." Kili had mentioned catching both elves attention.

"the food is gone..?" Lindir had quietly replied in disbelief ,he had made the food himself ,your favourite food aswell.. Kili had nodded harshely,Lindir's face dropped,you had placed your hand on his fore arm. "hey..Its fine ,I brought cookies , we can go eat them where we met as elflings.." you had resurred your bestfriend,who's eyes had brightened up as well as the dwarves eyes.

"Miss Y/n? Could we have a cookie?" Fili had asked with puppy dog eyes ,in which kili had joined in you had nodded pulling two cookies out of your bag passing them to them ,wishing them well on their journey. IN fact they hadn't left they had hid in a bush while you had sat with Lindir in the grass,eating cookies ,holding his hand.

"you know they are right?" you had broken the silence catching Lindirs attention,his eyes searched your face in confusion.

"about what?"

"me flirting with you.." and with that you had pressed your lips to Lindirs soft ones,pulling your hand out of his ,to place it on his ,as he kissed back.

"only been waiting 200 years to confess my love for you ,then two dwarves turn up,and i finally get guts." you had spoken again as you both pulled away for air.

"I love you too nin meleth ,your nana is going to be surprised ,when she finds out." you had giggled at his words while kili handed his brother five gold coins.

Any chance for eomer requests...

[bluebellhairpin]

For the Night

Fili X Fem!Reader

A/N: It’s 2k words long, you cannot escape me and my love for one (1) blond dwarf. I won’t let you. Happy Fili Friday! - Nemo

Summary: Fili starts acting like a love sick fool when he sees the keeper of an inn the Company is contemplating staying at for the night. His attention is only lessened when a small child started attaching itself to the keeper’s leg. But nevertheless, the Company stay the night - which is long enough for Fili to get answers out of the infatuating keeper. 

Masterlist  

[Gif isn’t mine, found on google. Credit to owner.]

The Company was tired. Tired as hell.

They hadn’t had a safe place to rest for a couple weeks now, and after their stop at Bag-end to get Bilbo, the bar for ‘comfort’ and ‘safe’ just about doubled. Fili could tell everyone wanted to sleep in a bed just once rather than on the ground again. In fact everyone knew that. 

The town ahead was promising, seeing as Fili could tell there were people around, and that it still wasn’t too busy. 

The reason they hadn’t stopped before was how reluctant other places were to housing so many Dwarves. The Company had yet to find a place that was impartial to Dwarves - for Hobbit’s and Wizards, apparently it was fine - and therefore they’d been sleeping on the road, or on the outskirts of towns. 

“Alright, some of us will go into town to try and see if there’s a place to stay, the rest of you will stay here.” Thorin started, turning to the Company as they settled on the side of the road. “Dwalin is with me, Balin can go on his own. Fili, take Kili and go search too - just do not cause trouble.”

“Aye Uncle, we want a warm bed for once as much as everyone else.” Kili started, flinging an arm over Fili’s shoulder. “We’ll be like little angels!” 

“Sure you will.” With that Thorin set off, Dwalin in tow while Balin had already started off into town before Thorin had even asked him to. Fili and Kili followed after, babbling to themselves about anything and everything. 

----------

“Beat it, shorties!” 

That was the second prospective accommodation that they'd been thrown out of. 

“People aren’t nice.” Kili said, adjusting his jacket as he glared back at the closed door. “Mahal, all we wanted was a place to stay.” 

“We just have to keep trying Kee, don’t worry.”

“You Dwarves lookin’ for a place to stay?” an elderly man said, looking at the brothers from across the street. Fili shared a look with Kili before nodding. “Try up on the north hill. There’s an Inn there run by a Dwarrow. Might have better luck there.” 

“Sir, thank you.” Fili said, nodding at the man before heading off to find the Inn.

----------

The place was quaint. Simple. Still homey. Fili loved it. 

“It’s so quiet.” Kili said, quietly mumbling to his brother. “Maybe no one lives here and the townsfolk just keep the door unlocked.” 

It was true, the Inn was very quiet. There wasn’t even another person there, and there was no noise. The only reason it looked lived in was because of the fire going on their left and the fact that everything was so clean.

“Doubt that.” Fili stepped forward, “Hello?” He called, and almost instantly they got an answer.

“Yes?” A voice said behind them. There in the doorway was the Dwarrowdam, an armful of chopped wood in her arms. “I’m sorry, I hope you haven't been waiting long.” 

Fili couldn’t answer. He was in awe. She was beautiful. Sure, he hadn’t seen many Dwarrowdams in his life, he’d mostly just heard descriptions of them. But she surpassed any story description. Just by looking at her he could tell she was his One. 

“Fee.” Kili said, elbowing Fili in the ribs, a smirk lathered over his face. Kili knew what happened to Fili, but like hell he’d let an opportunity pass. “The lass asked you a question.”

“Uhm, no. We weren’t waiting long at all!” Fili said, managing to gather his voice back, even if it was a bit high-pitched. She giggled at him, moving away from the doorway and further into the Inn. 

“I’m afraid, Sir, that wasn’t my question.” 

“Oh, sorry then. Um, what was the question?” Fili asked, following her as she started piling the wood near the fire.

“‘How can I help you?’” She repeated, smiling up at Fili. 

His heart stopped. 

She’d kill him at this rate. 

“We need a place to stay.” he said, surprised at how easily he spoke, but he was sure it didn’t sound as nice as he thought it did. “No other place would take us because we are Dwarves and an older man said to come here because you run this Inn and we’d have a better chance asking for help here.”

“You and, I’m guessing, your brother needs to stay?” 

“Yes.” Kili said, finally deciding to save Fili from any further ramblings. “But it’s not just us. There are eleven other Dwarves, and a Hobbit, and a Human.” She nodded, finishing stacking the wood, and stood up while wiping her hands on her apron.

“You’re asking for rooms for fifteen?” They nodded, and she hummed. “Well, I could use the business, but I’m afraid some of you might have to share a little more than a room.” 

“That’s okay!” Fili started, “We have our own sleeping packs, so all we’d need is the room to set them up.” 

“Then you’re welcome to stay.” she said, “My name’s (y/n).” 

“I’m Kili, this is Fili -” Kili started then Fili joined, “-at your service.” 

“Do you greet everyone new like that?” she said, letting out a sort of laugh.

“Amad,” a small voice then said, along with it came a small head from what could be a kitchen, “When is dinner?” 

----------

“‘Amad’, that’s what the child said to her. She is a mother!” Fili said, and all Kili could do was roll his eyes.  

“Fili, you’ve mentioned this at least five times. I’m now asking you to cease and desist.” Thorin said, managing to make his grumbling heard from all the way at the front of the group. 

After the brothers had gathered Thorin, Dwalin and Balin, and shared the exciting news of a place to stay, Fili then proceeded to tell the story of the Innkeeper - and her apparent child.

“It’s a disaster Uncle.” Fili said, making his way up to Thorin. “I felt it the moment I saw her, she is my One, but she is obviously with another since she has a child! How could this happen?” 

“Have you thought to ask her about it, or are you fixated on the dream of love at first sight and the need to wed her even though you’ve spoken only once?” 

“Uncle,” Fili whined, “Don’t be so pessimistic!”

----------

“Amad, why are you cooking so much?”

“Because there are people staying over.”

“Like a sleepover?”

“A bit like that, yes. But they’re paying us to stay here, so we’ll look after them.” (y/n) looked down at the dwarfling at her feet. He was happily helping her and busying himself by dragging out a giant pot from the cupboard, and she was grateful he was so willing to give her a hand. 

“You don’t usually make people pay you if you have a sleepover, do you?” 

“No, Amrum, you do not.” She laughed, finishing chopping up the last potato. She then took the pot Amram was dragging, and placed it on the stove. She looked back at the boy. “You think you can do one more job for me before dinner?”

“Of course Amad! Anything for dinner.”

“Go fetch a couple more pieces of wood from outside, only two or three.” He nodded, already marching his way out the kitchen. “And don’t overload yourself again!”

“I won’t Amad!” 

----------

“Look! There’s the Dwarfling!” Fili said, hitting Thorin’s shoulder and pointing at the boy running back inside the Inn, his arms full of wood. 

“We get it, Fili. There is a child.” Thorin said, trudging his way up to the Inn. 

The entire Company practically groaned at the warmth that the Inn emitted. They hadn’t even gone inside yet and they were practically melting where they stood.

After mumbling to themselves about how much they liked this already, they made their way inside. 

“You made it back.” (y/n) said, coming from the doorway to the kitchen to greet them all. She took a look at everyone, nodding. “All the rooms are upstairs. They’re ready for you. You can take your pick of whichever you’d like.” 

They all made their thanks, then teatered off to the rooms. Fili stayed behind, eyeing (y/n) as if he wanted to say something, but she took off after the others, obviously forgetting something.

“Dinner is in half an hour! If you’re late you miss out!” she called up the stairs, and unceremonial cheers came back down at her. She turned back, facing Fili. “Hi.” 

“Hey.” 

A beat of silence came, a smile creeped on (y/n)’s face, and soon they both let out a laugh. 

“Sorry - I just… The child?” Fili said, gesturing around the room. She nodded, walking into the kitchen. Fili took that as a note to follow. 

“Amrum, please get off the countertop.” She said, and Fili locked eyes with the child - of which was eating off a plate while sitting on the countertop.

“It’s the Dwarf.” Amram said, starting to climb off the counter, “You came before. You’re here for the sleepover.” 

Fili kept looking at the boy, nodding, before looking over at (y/n) - she’d gone to cut some meat. Fili didn’t notice how hungry he was until just now. 

“You want some of my bread? I’ve eaten some of it, but I haven’t licked the butter off.” Amrum offered, and it almost pained Fili to decline - his eyes were so wide, and he was very cute and Fili was hungry. 

----------

“I can’t believe he likes you that much.” (y/n) said, her voice low and very quiet. 

Amrun had fallen asleep on Fili a little over fifteen minutes ago - around the time the others of the Company dispersed to their warm rooms and beds with real pillows - and had yet to wake up. Fili felt his chest both swell and tighten. 

Swell because this was a child, one he felt he needed to protect, and tighten because it wasn’t his, and he had a father already. At least Fili thought he did.

“I haven’t seen him like that with anyone besides me since his parents died.”

“What?” Fili said, frowning at (y/n) while slightly tightening his hold around the Dwarfling. “He calls you Amad, aren’t you his mother?” She shook her head.

“No, I’m his Aunt, but he’s only really known me as a mother. He was really young when my brother and sister-in-law died.” 

She had started fiddling with the hem of her apron. 

“You miss them, don’t you?” Fili said, even though he already knew the answer.

“Yeah,” she breathed, “This place was theirs too. Since they’re been gone it’s just been me and Amrum. It’s not easy.” 

“I can imagine. But this lad seems like he behaves.”

“Most of the time.” She laughed, “You should see him when there’s no one around, it’s like he has a twin with how much mischief he gets up to.” 

----------

“Will you come back Fee?” Amrum asked, looking up at the blond whose arms he was still being carried in.

(y/n) and Fili shared a look. Last night they had a talk. It wasn’t little, but it wasn’t all-bearing either. It was informative, and it did enlighten (y/n) to why all these Dwarves, a Hobbit and a Human were traveling together. 

“How about we wait and see Amrum?” She said, holding out her hand for Amrum to take as Fili set him to the ground. “They all could be away for months yet, we’ll have to be patient.” Amrum looked down, kicking the dirt. He obviously wasn’t looking forward to his new friends leaving.

“Here,” Fili said, pulling out a dagger from his coat, “As a promise. When I get back, you’ll be throwing that with the precision of an eagle hunting it’s meal.” Fili held out the dagger to Amrum. 

Amrum looked up at (y/n), she shook her head, but her eyes and the light smile on her lips told them it was okay. The Dwarfling took the dagger, holding it both hands with wide eyes. 

“Wow. You’re really letting me keep it?” 

“Sure thing kid. Just don’t cut yourself, and look after your Amad.”

[rainydaydream-gal18]

Hobbit!Legolas x Reader: Meeting

(Author’s note:  Heyo!  I know I write a lot of dwarf fics, so I figured it was time to write something else!

This one goes out to those who are team elf!  Holla)

. . . .

Still, you couldn’t fight the feeling in your chest at the thought of seeing him again.

. . . .

   “‘Just go to Middle Earth’, he said,” you muttered aloud.  “‘It’ll be fun’, he said.  Well, Gandalf, I’m not exactly having the time of my life!”  You withdrew the sword from the spider’s corpse in front of you.  “When I see him again, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.”

   “_________, what are you muttering about?” Kili asked, glancing at you and then at the dead spider.  “Nice kill, by the way.”

   You shrugged.  “Thanks.  So, do you know if we have a plan to get out of here?  These spiders are just gross.  I didn’t even want to come here in the first place.”

   “We’re just fighting our way out, looks like,” he replied, turning to watch your back.  “Think you could lend me a sword?”

   “Sorry, I’m out of extras.”  You jumped forward and slashed another spider as it raced to attack a member of the Company.  Bofur shouted a thanks, and you acknowledged his gratitude with a nod.

   This was the scene in the Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug movie where the Company escapes the spiders.  As an outsider who knew the course of the journey, you had really hoped to steer the Company clear of this part, but unfortunately, the spiders still caught you all off guard.

   You had arrived at the beginning of the journey when the Company first met Bilbo in the Shire.  Even though you’d been traveling with them for some time now, fighting still made you nervous.  Your sword skills had improved greatly, and sometimes you peppered the battlefield with comments to make others think you were unafraid, but deep down inside it was still scary at times.  Especially when dealing with giant, gross spiders!  Ew!

   Unfortunately, this fear made an appearance when one of the spiders launched itself straight at you, slimy mouth wide open and revealing fangs.  The sight was so disgusting, and the arachnophobe in you cringed away from the creature instead of meeting it with your steely blade.

   “_______!” Kili called from several feet away.  He was unarmed and too far to help.  Other members of the Company were preoccupied with their opponents to intervene as well.  It looked bleak for a split second.  Then, the spider was thrown aggressively off its path by an unseen object.  It fell over onto its side, writhing on the ground with an arrow lodged in its flesh.

   Your eyes darted back to where the arrow could have come from, and you saw a figure in green with light blonde hair slide down a curved tree trunk until he landed near you.  The spider had stopped moving for now, so he instead aimed his bow and arrow at you.

   “Drop the sword.”  

   You did as he ordered and put your hands up.  Around you, residents of Mirkwood began appearing on the scene, taking out spiders left and right before circling the Company.  Tauriel was among them, which was neat.  Her and Kili had hit it off.  They spoke in their elvish language, and as a Lord of the Rings fan who spent your time learning the language back home (especially movie lines), you understood nearly all of it.  

   And it was utterly frustrating not being able to use it when it mattered most.

   You had kept this ability of yours to speak Sindarin a secret from your group.  Since Thorin had such contempt for elves, you figured that advertising your knack for the language was a bad idea.  It wouldn’t help you earn his trust which you had so carefully fostered over the course of the journey.  If you spoke for the Company now instead of letting Thorin speak first, that would also be disrespectful.  Even so, you wondered if it would do you any good at all anyway.  Mirkwood elves were not like Rivendell elves.  You had let Elrond in on your secret, and he had been fascinated, but Legolas and Thranduil might end up being even more suspicious.

   Legolas was being all mean and insulting, making accusations of Thorin stealing the blade Orcrist, and  accusing him of lying about it.  He called Gloin’s wife his brother, and his son a goblin.

   Just you wait, Legolas.  You’re going to spend a few decades outside the Woodland Realm and are going to become a big softie by the time the Fellowship is formed.

   Then, he looked at you with those blue eyes.  “Are these dwarves keeping you their prisoner?  I cannot imagine any other reason a young woman would travel with such a… crew.”

   “I am not their prisoner,” you clarified, resisting the urge to scoff at such a notion.  You had to remain as calm and sensible as possible, or it would make things worse.  “They are my good friends.  I’d appreciate it if you didn’t raise false accusations against them.”

   He observed you for a moment longer with that beautiful but wild gaze.  He then turned to give his soldiers orders in Sindarin.  The Company was escorted through the deadly woods, no doubt to the fortress. 

   Before long, you found yourself in a cell alone a little ways away from the rest of the Company.  The others chattered and hollered, some even tried kicking at the doors to no avail.

    “Leave it! There is no way out! This is no Orc dungeon,” Balin scolded. “These are the Halls of the Woodland realm. No one leaves here, but, by the king’s consent.”

   At that, the hollering and loud bangs stopped, but the Company continued to chatter as if devising a plan for escape.  You leaned against the wall and sank to the floor slowly, knowing very well it would be hours before Bilbo arrived.

   “________,” Bofur called. “ You okay, lass?  You’ve been awfully quiet.”

   “Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied.  “Just tired, thanks.  Everyone up there alright?”

   “We’re fine, dear,” Balin assured you.  “I can almost guarantee that Thranduil is offering Thorin a deal.  The question is: will Thorin take him up on it?”

   “Considering how he feels about these people,” you hesitated.  “I’d say our chances of him taking the deal are slim.”

   “I’m afraid I agree,” Balin sighed.

   Some time had passed before Thorin was dragged into the dungeon and pushed in his cell.  Balin inquired about whether Thorin was given a deal, which of course, Thorin had refused.  However, Thorin remained hopeful that there was another way out.

   Later that night, you were still lying on the cell floor listening to the nature-y sounds that filled the dungeon.  There was the sound of running water, like a stream or small waterfall, and it was quite soothing.  A couple of voices echoed softly.  You spared a glance outside your cell to see Tauriel outside Kili’s cell talking.  Those two were so cute.

   Suddenly, a shadow was cast over your cell.  Legolas stood there gazing at you quietly.  You hadn’t even heard him approach!

   “What business does a young woman have with a group of dwarves reclaiming Erebor?” he asked.

   “That’s a good question,” you nodded.  “I asked myself that a few times when the journey first began.”

   “You didn’t answer my question.”  He didn’t sound angry, just curious.  “I do not understand why you would endure such a journey for people who are not your own.”

   “I do not have to be from Erebor to care about them,” you countered.  “I think you place too much importance on where a person’s from or who their people are.  It’s normal to take pride in those things.  I know I do!  But friendship and comradery should go beyond that.”

   He was silent for a few moments, as if taking in all that you said.  “You are wiser than you look.”

   “Oh...thanks?” you weren’t sure if that was an insult or compliment for certain.

   “I meant, you are wise beyond your years,” he clarified.

   “Ohh,” you nodded in understanding.  A compliment.  “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

   “Appreciate what?”

   “What you said.”

   “I was merely stating an observation,” he said dismissively.  “You are...different.  Not like any maidens here.”

   “Well, I’m not from around here,” you explained.  “Where I come from, this place is the stuff of legend.  I suppose even here it is.”  With a pause, your eyes found his.  “It’s very beautiful.”

   “It is,” he agreed.  “Though I would not mind traveling, visiting the other realms.  Your home- you said it was not around here.  What is it like?”

   “Like me, it’s...different,” you went on.  “It is beautiful in its own way.”  You watched him, curious as to why he was there talking to you instead of jealously watching Tauriel and Kili.  He considered you a stranger, so it would be odd to ask such a personal question.  “I don’t believe we have formally introduced ourselves.  I am ________, member of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.”

   Legolas’ lips formed a small smile.  “I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, prince of Mirkwood.”

   “I suppose it’s a pleasure to meet you, despite the circumstances.”

   His brows furrowed as he looked at the bars that separated you, remembering that you were a prisoner.  He took a step back, conflicted.

   Then, he walked away.  “I must go.”

   As expected, you and the rest of the Company had made your daring and clever escape.  Bilbo had returned and ushered you all into the barrels, pulling the lever so they’d drop and fall into the river.  With many other experiences on this journey, you discovered that it was so different to actually live the scene as opposed to watching it on TV.  The water was cold, and you worried your barrel would tip.

   The situation had erupted when not only the Mirkwood soldiers perceived your escape, but also orcs arrived on the scene.  Early morning sunlight shone in the sky, and the air was brisk.  You felt it every time it touched your skin when you rose out of the water momentarily.  There was a particularly big and hideous orc on the shore aiming an arrow right at you.  You could do nothing but try and duck into the barrel since you were lacking your weapon.  Even then, it was risky.

   Before either you or the orc made a move, an arrow went flying into the side of its head.  Your eyes followed the path to see Legolas leaping into battle with another orc.  He paused, blue eyes meeting yours even from a distance.  It hadn’t been simply about protecting Mirkwood, he had rescued you.  Something flashed between you.  You weren’t sure what, but it was something.

   The fight progressed, and you even got a hold of an orc’s axe.  You knew very well Legolas could protect himself, but when the opportunity arose, you threw the axe at an orc to stop it mid-swing behind the Mirkwood prince. He no doubt heard the orc’s shriek, turning to glance at it and then you before resuming conflict.

   The stream’s current picked up, and pretty soon the Company was so far along that no orcs could be seen.  No sign of Legolas or Tauriel either.  You knew you’d see them again soon, but until then, a part of you would miss Legolas Greenleaf.  

   How silly. You thought to yourself.  You’ve only just met him.  No need to get all mushy already.

Still, you couldn’t fight the feeling in your chest at the thought of seeing him again.

Part 2

[imnotwolverine]

The girl next door - About plumbing

The Girl Next Door - Chapter 3 ABOUT PLUMBING*

<Chap 2 | Chap 4>

Summary: What do you do when your shower stops working after one very hot, sweaty run with your cute neighbour? Lizz finds out. 

Word count: 3.521

Warnings: smut alert, f- and m- receiving oral and bit of healthy (dwarvish) competition

Author’s note: SO. I wanted to pace this story and post every few days. But guess what? It’s friggin’ hot and I couldn’t sleep and..I may have written well into the night, finishing not only this chapter..but like..the next one too? Gosh I’m an incorrigible night owl.   

(Link to my Masterlist)

‘Come on foxy! Keep up!’ Henry barely sounded out of breath as he trodded up the hill, a heavily panting Lizz not far behind.

As promised the two of them were going on a run, the morning still slightly chilly as the world around them slowly woke up after the stormy night that had forced Lizz to stay over at Henry’s place.

Lizz hadn’t caught much sleep that night, mulling over what to do about her ex-boyfriend..or did he still consider himself her boyfriend? Luis. And then there was Henry, this cute neighbour that stood at the ready for her every beck and call. A ridiculously cute neighbour, have you there. Henry, Henry, Henry. It took Lizz a lot of perseverance and innocent thoughts before she finally could stop asking herself the question: Is he big..everywhere?  

Henry hadn’t slept much either, his mind occupied with the fact his cute neighbour was laying downstairs on his couch and, as they had talked until deep into the night, he felt like their insidious teasing should either come to a full stop or a full go. A full go meaning she definitely wouldn’t be laying on that couch right now. Henry tossed and turned, his hands travelling where they shouldn’t. Eventually he had willed himself to sleep, afraid to awaken her, or even worse, get caught, if he gave in to his bodily needs. 

It made for this morning run to be particularly..exciting, for the both of them, even though neither one of them dared to admit their thoughts and midnight trepidations to one another.

Lizz growled while she finally made it over the hilltop, her breath short and raspy. ‘You just wait! ..We dwarves are natural sprinters! ..Very dangerous over short distances!’

Henry laughed aloud, turning around and tiptoeing backwards as he smiled from ear to ear.

‘Perhaps if you’d grow out your beard that’d work. But for now, it looks like foxy needs a bit of practise.’ Henry winked, making Lizz even more eager to beat him, her feet speeding up just enough so she could run past Henry, his body spinning to follow her lead. It was then her eye picked up the silhouettes of their houses just a few hundred meters away.

‘Last one home is a green pig!’ Lizz shouted, her tired legs kicking into gear, making Henry reel his head in confusion.

‘Oi! Wait up!’ He shouted after her, somewhat surprised at the sudden speed she was going at. Thankfully for him, it wasn’t long before Lizz was totally out of breath, her head red like a tomato as Henry finally managed to surpass her.

Reaching out his arms in victory he laughed, his legs slowing down to a walk before halting next to Lizz’s garden.

Both too out of breath to talk - Lizz near folding over with exertion - they stood there for a good moment, panting. Henry was the first to get his breath back, his chest reverberating with a chuckle. ‘You nearly got me there.’

‘Nearly.’ She panted, laughing through her short puffs.

‘Well, fair game foxy. Fair game. And thanks for joining me.’ He smiled, still panting softly. ‘’Twas good fun. See you at tea time?’

Lizz could only nod, her tied up red hair and red face a perfect match, her body still wrecked by her heavy panting. It took a good moment before she could manage to look up, her eyes just catching the last glimpse of Henry in his running shorts and simple grey tee. ‘Fuck me. Superman is fast.’ She muttered under her breath, quietly enough for Henry not to hear while he jogged back to his house.

*A few blinks of the eye later.*

—

Fumbling hands turned on the faucet nobs with increased worry.

‘Oh no. Oh no. No no. Not now.’

Lizz continued to turn on the nobs, but no more water came, the shower head dripping its last few, sacred drops.

’NOO…oh man. Why…’ She groaned, slowly blinking, some shampoo prickling her eyes as she tried to look at the handles. Nothing seemed wrong or out of the ordinary. ‘Oh please shower gods! Give me WATER!’ She pleaded, stretching her hands up in the air.

It almost seemed ironic, after half the house had practically drowned in the storm from last night.

But alas, Lizz was quick to decide she was not going to have this fight with her house right now, and instead she stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in a large towel and slipping into her fluffy slippers.

Her hands moved to her sink, but also here the faucet wouldn’t give water.

Grr!

Could she just..let the shampoo dry and wash it off later?

Blinking her shampoo-tearing eyes, she decided that was a truly awful idea.

Moving to her bedroom - the floor, walls and bed still wet from the down pour from last night - she grabbed her phone from the sidetable, not hesitating a moment to call in for another favour from her friendly neighbourhood superman.

It only took a few rings before the superhero in question answered, his warm baritone voice greeting her with a tone of amusement.

‘Miss me already?’

‘Hen…No…Ehm..Okay. Here’s the thing. I think my house is cursed and the water gods have a bet running against me.’

‘I’m listening.’ He chuckled.

‘So, maybe I was showering and ..maybe the shower stopped working in the middle of me shampooing my hair? Just maybe?’ Lizz bit her lip, hoping Henry would at least lend her a bucket of hot water or something. Anything was better than the pots and pans with dirty, murky rainwater that were standing around in her house.

‘Hmm. Sounds like a problematic situation.’ He agreed, not giving her the pleasure of immediately offering her the use of his shower.

‘What do you want me to do about it, neighbour?’ He was obviously teasing her and she wished she could just poke his shoulder right now.

Darn him!

‘Well I don’t know. Maybe lend me your garden hose? Or invite me for an impromptu water balloon fight?’ She sniffled. Something about talking to Henry made her feel particularly eager to tease and joke.

‘Hmm..’tis that I do not have any water balloons laying around, and I have no idea whether I even have such a thing as a garden hose at my disposal. Would a hot inviting shower be okay, however?’

‘YES. Oh yes. Yes please. Can I come over?’

‘Sure thing love.’

Love.

The word had come out of his mouth faster than he could help it. And he was glad she couldn’t see him right now, his face frozen with horror as he realised he just called her “love”, his fingers fumbling to end the call. His sweet neighbour friend. Oh gods. What did he do? And now she was coming over …and..

*knock knock*

He didn’t even think twice about opening the door, his mind still scolding himself for being so forward with Lizz.

It made for the next moment to be even more interesting for the both of them.

‘OH.’ Lizz’s eyes near popped out of their sockets as a very topless Henry swung open his front door.

Henry looked down, realising THAT was probably even worse then calling her “love”, his mouth falling open in a futile attempt to apologise, but failing miserably.

‘I eh..’ He made a face as Lizz started to blush profusely, his eyes now accidentally drifting down her soaking wet, towel clad body. Had she really just walked up to his house in nothing but a towel? Well at least it meant the both of them were complete idiots.

He couldn’t wait for the snarky comments of their other neighbour, Mrs. Gatter.

Noticing his eyes first sliding down her body, then moving towards Mrs. Gatter’s house, made Lizz realise what he was thinking.

‘Oh gods.’ She gasped in horror, looking over her shoulder at the other house, her face becoming even more red.

‘Yes.’ Henry quickly pulled her inside, forgoing all Corona protocol as his hand slipped around her wrist, his other arm quick to close the door behind them.

Suddenly they were very close.

Breath to breath, eye to eye. 

And definitely, definitely not the required 2 meters, Henry’s chest blocking Lizz’s way into the hall.

Stumbling back she crashed against the wall, yelping in surprise as she hit a few photo frames, her body spinning so her hands could quickly steady the frames before they fell off.

And then…it slipped.

Her towel slipped.

Henry stared in quiet awe as the big white towel fell down to the floor, Lizz’s body now stark naked, her skin still glistening and soaped from her unfinished shower.

Milky, soft, luscious. And that tush. Gosh. Even in his wildest dreams he hadn’t thought of this.

Lizz choked on her thoughts as she looked down at the towel at her feet. Oh no, it wasn’t Mrs. Gatter she had on her mind right now, her doe eyes looking over her shoulder at Henry, his breath now much more heavy than it had been during their entire run this morning.

Now what?

It was a question they both mulled over in their heads, their eyes slowly tracing down each others bodies.

His gym hardened, bulking physique.

Her soft feminine body with its luscious curves.

And then their eyes met, both hesitant, yet unapologetic about their obvious stares. Neither one looking away from the other. 

...

‘Oh fuck it.’ Lizz muttered, deciding upon their faith, her body quick to press against Henry as she reached for him, pulling his face down in an almost aggressive kiss. Henry growled against her lips, immediately agreeing to the turn of events, slipping his hands through her shampoo lathered hair, locking her head just where he wanted it. Close to his lips.

‘Fmmck.’ He muttered under his breath, walking backwards and pulling Lizz with him, her hands now grasping for his biceps and her throaty keens muted by their hungry kisses.

Not breaking away from her once, Henry started to reach for one of the doors further down the hallway, his eyes half hoodedly checking out Lizz as he managed to lure her into his bathroom, his hand flicking the light switch so they wouldn’t stand here in the dark.  

This was too good to be true.

This was too good to be true.

Lizz was the first to pull back, her eyes dark with lust and a breathy grin etched on her face. She wanted to speak, but decided against it, both their chests heaving with excitement.

This was no time to speak.

Oh no.

This was..

Her hand slipped down Henry’s chest, following the happy trail of dark curls that led her down his abs to.. Her hand hesitating before she finally looked down.

Hmm.

Well that answered her question.

Her eyes halted at the very obvious tent in Henry’s shorts, her hand pausing just below his navel. Henry noticed and moved his hand to tilt her face back up at him, looking deep into her eyes.  

‘Lizz..’ He hummed, like her name was some type of enchantment, his fingers delicately tracing down her neck, down her collarbone, near whispering over her breasts.

‘Fuck.’ Lizz cried softly, tilting her head back as his touch was more than just welcome. It was what she craved.

Touch. Sweet, sweet touch.

Henry’s fingertips danced over her skin until they reached her nipples, his thumbs rubbing them to wanton peaks, not long after followed by his mouth as he ducked down, his tongue lavishly twirling over them as his hands became more demanding, groping and moulding her soft flesh.

Lizz tangled her hands in his curly hair and let her lust hazed eyes dance around the room.

White walls and dove grey floor tiles with on one end of the wall a large modern sink with a mirror and at the opposing wall a spacious walk-in shower. Oh mother have mercy. This was…mmm!…

This was too good to be true.

‘Shower?’ Henry breathed, getting up to standing height as he quirked up an eyebrow. Lizz playfully bit her lip and nodded.

‘Hmm.’ Henry moaned as he interlocked his lips with hers again - he was one noisy lover -, his hands now travelling down and, with the greatest ease, lifting up her hips so he could carry the both of them into the shower. Lizz gasped softly - never had a man carried her around like that -, quickly wrapping her legs around his hip to steady herself.

It was in that moment she realised how very clothed he still was down there, the constricting fabric of his shorts rubbing against her sensitive folds. She keened softly as Henry lifted her up even higher, breaking that contact, one of his arms wrapping around her lower back while the other moved to turn on the shower.

She was now placed high enough on his hip so he could kiss down her neck and the top of her chest, suckling the skin there as he waited for the water to slowly heat up, his free hand now squeezing her buttocks. Lizz didn’t know what to do with herself, her need muddling her brain to incoherent thoughts and her mouth to whimpering moans.

Desperately she kept pulling at his soft, slightly sweaty curls, tilting her head back, near floating in the air and giving in to Henry’s sweet administrations.

Sweet administrations that were a stark contrast to his sounds. Raw and animalistic. He’s a growler, Lizz smiled, biting her lip again as Henry’s chest reverberated with another deep moan.

So hot.

Henry nipped a trail back up, breathing hotly in her ear; ’Close your eyes.’

Before Lizz could fully register what he was doing, she felt the back of her head being dipped under the warm stream of the shower, one of Henry’s arms still supporting her lower back, while the other moved to support her head. She jolted in surprise, her hands quick to grasp at his shoulders, her nails leaving tiny crescent shaped marks in his flesh.

Henry chuckled, not in the least bit impressed by her feisty claws.

‘Easy.’ He warned her, allowing Lizz to relax back into his arms, the shampoo in her hair now slowly washing out of her auburn locks.

‘Sorry,’ She squealed, a nervous chuckle bubbling up in her chest.

It wasn’t everyday a man’d pick her up and waltz her into his shower to wash her hair. And sure, Henry LOOKED strong, but Lizz was not yet fully trusting of his capability to keep her up while manoeuvring around in a slippery shower. No amount of superman muscles can win from a poorly placed bit of soap, right?

‘Put..put me down,’ She finally hiccuped, her soft plea nearly drowned out by the falling water. Henry didn’t miss it however, without question putting her down and cupping her cheek again, a concerned look spread across his features.

Gosh, he was way too sweet for her.

‘You okay?’ He asked, gazing into her eyes. Lizz shook her head, unbelieving, a soft chuckle bursting from her lips.

‘Oh Henry.’ She started to laugh harder, looking into his confused puppy eyes.

‘What is it Lizz?’

‘Nothing.’ She sniffled, reaching out for a bottle of shampoo and holding it up in question. ‘You do me, I do you?’

Henry’s worried face broke into a smile, his head now also shaking like Lizz’s did just now.

‘You are one of a kind, foxy.’

‘You betcha.’ Lizz smiled, playfully biting her lip as she started to slather some of the shampoo in his curls. Henry hummed, his eyes closing as Lizz pressed and swirled her fingertips over his scalp, offering him a little head massage, his erection now bobbing restlessly against her belly. Lizz couldn’t help but look down, her mouth slightly watering at the sight of his now completely soaked shorts as they clung to his muscular thighs and…well..a very well endowed manhood.

Without much of a second thought she pushed Henry back underneath the shower head and kneeled down, soft drops falling down her face as she looped her fingers around the waistband of his shorts.

Henry slowly opened his eyes, missing the relaxing head massage he just got, before realising where Lizz had gone.

Down.

His eyes dropped to look at her, his pupils blown out so wide there was no more blue left to be seen, his eyes dark and lust-hazed.

Without needing much of a confirmation, Lizz tugged down his shorts, her face now mere inches away from a very happy-to-see-her member. It twitched slightly as she licked her lips, looking up at him once more before going in for the kill, her lips placing some experimental kisses on his lower belly and thighs before she enclosed them around his engorged member.

‘AAahh..’ Henry let out a breathy moan as he let his head fly back, his hair being rinsed by the water as it fell down from the large shower head. ‘Fuck.’ He muttered, a hand moving to the back of Lizz’s head as she started to suck and bob on him.

‘Fuck..fuck fuck fuck..Lizz..Lizz..stop..’ He pulled her back, his breath irregular and his chest heaving as she released him with a *pop*. She looked back up in question.

‘It’s been a while..I..’ He squeezed his eyes shut as he let out another groan.

‘You okay?’ Lizz asked in turn.

‘Oh Lizz.’ Henry smiled, his breath calming down somewhat. ‘Come. As much fun as this shower is, I..’ He pulled her up with ease, his mouth quick to place another passionate kiss on her lips. ‘..I much prefer to do this..right.’

Right? Wasn’t this right?

Lizz really wasn’t in the mood for slowing things down.

Can you imagine going this far, only to stop because of some unwritten sex protocol?

What did he want?

Wine, dine, date and marriage first?

Fuck no.

Henry chuckled as he saw Lizz’s brows furrow with question.

‘Upstairs.’ He added, nodding his head towards the door.

‘Ah..’ Lizz muttered, feeling stupid for even thinking that Henry was THAT much of a vanilla boy.

Sprawled out on the deep blue sheets, her pale skin and red hair a stark contrast with the fabric, Lizz was an utter, complete mess.

For such a “vanilla” boy, Henry was really..really…really good at giving head. Like…ughh.

Lizz reached down her legs, her fingers tangling with the slightly damp dark curls that belonged to one very hot neighbour.

Henry chuckled, the sound reverberating pleasantly against her folds.

‘Gods Henry.’ She swooned, her back pressing off the bed as an orgasm started to build up.

He hummed again, his hands locking even more tightly around her hipbone, keeping her right where he wanted her as his mouth licked, sucked and teased her with more demand.

‘FUUCKK..Ah..ahh.AH!’ Lizz cried, her legs squeezing tighter around Henry as her orgasm came crashing down on her.  

Slowly.. Henry lapped up her juices, waiting for her hips to still before he pried himself out from in between her legs. A wolfish grin was spread wide across his glistening cheeks.

Okay, time for a correction.

Henry Cavill was NOT a vanilla boy, Lizz thought, pushing her head back into the mattress as she let out a breathy laugh.

‘What’s so funny?’ Henry purred, crawling back on top of her, his weight making her shift on the mattress.

‘Oh just that you are one of kind..’ Lizz laughed, opening her eyes and looking back at him. He grinned, then placed a kiss on her swollen lips before pushing himself back off the mattress.

Lizz frowned, propping herself up on her elbow as she looked at his well rounded buttocks walking into the ensuite bathroom.

She heard him rummage around, open some cupboards, groan, walk back in the bedroom, then offer her a most pained look.

‘Ehm…’ He started, not sure what to say - even though his face probably said it all.

‘Oh..is this the point where you admit to not having any condoms around?’ Lizz rolled back on the bed, shaking her head. ‘Cavill Cavill Cavill…’ She tutted, chuckling.

Henry groaned and crawled back on top of her, giving her an exasperated look.

‘Not funny Lizz.’ He growled, sulking for a moment as Lizz started to laugh out loud, eventually cracking Henry’s grumpy facade, a little grin appearing back on his lips.

‘Oh come on..now you’re just…’ Henry rolled his eyes, then decided to go ahead and abuse the situation, his fingers flicking down to tickle her ribs.

‘NO NO NO..Henners. STOP IT. Hahahahaha.’ Lizz squirmed underneath him, her laugh bouncing off the walls as she tried to pry herself out of Henry’s tickle assault.

*WOOF WOOF WOOF*

Apparently Kal hadn’t missed out on the little party his humans were throwing in the bedroom, the large dog calling alarm from the bottom of the stairs.

Henry halted his tickles, smiling boyishly as Lizz finally managed to get her breath back.

‘You!’ Lizz pouted, giving him a playful pat against his pecs.

‘Me.’ Henry smiled, leaning down on his forearms again so he could place a number of sweet kisses on Lizz’s lips.

‘You you you.’ Lizz hummed in between the kisses, smiling against Henry’s lips.

*WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF*

The two of them stopped again for a moment, realising it was probably something else Kal was calling in the alarm for.

Focusing a little better, they heard a car drive down the small road outside, its wheels crunching over the uneven grit.

*HONK HO-OONK HONKHONKHONK*.

Lizz’s face froze over, recognising that specific way of honking far too well.

Oh shit.

Luis.

| Chap 4 >