#Just fucking copy parts of people and understand yourself and realize what you wanna show

[hajihiko]

Hi! I really adore your art. I think you’re super talented 👉👈 how did you develop your style? I’d love to improve my own art, so I’m curious to learn more

It's been like, my whole life doing it almost lol, so I'm not sure if it's a thing you can summarize...?

But basically, I think I just started out like, looking at art I liked and studying it and trying to incorporate it? Like, this looks good to me but it it's stylized, so why does it appeal to me, what is it that makes it look so good? And then you try to do your own version of it.

Learning realistic proportions and colours and whatnot is a part of it too, like, even if you do stylized anime shadow dot noses it helps when you know why and how its supposed to look.

I honestly don't know. I've just kind of been always taking note of the stuff I like forever, I consume media that inspires it and I experiment a lot. If I like something, I study it, and then incorporate it, in my own way; I'm not an original at all.

Its not sth you can guideline, you just do it. But you can I guess question yourself like:

Why does something look good?

What is it that makes it look convincing but stylized?

What are they trying to convey through style?

How does it look in real life as opposed to the style?

What do I like to draw most?

If I dont like drawing something that's important, how can I imply it anyway?

how can I make it fun?

This seems like a quiz, but like, it can be so fun! You can really dig into yourself when you examine what it is that you like visually, why it works etc. Art should not be a chore but a relief or a fulfillment or expression or something! Do what makes you feel good and makes sense, TONS of artists I admire have no realistic anatomy or colours but its beautiful, and it's so THEM.

Go with it, enjoy it, art is anything that you make of it. You wanna get a style, collect your resources and Get A Style! Just kinda go with it! Itll be there or it'll find you.

[mammonswhore]

Heyo! How would the Obey Me brothers react to MC being a teenager/younger gen Z? Like, the paper-work got mixed up somehow, and said they were like 26, when they were actually like 16? Also (you don't have to include this), what if the teen MC was actually really interested in demons and angles before coming to devildom, so they're really nervous, but also really excited? If you don't wanna do it, that's fine tho :) Have a great day/night!

I love this prompt! Have a great day too,love🖤

Brothers reaction to MC being a Gen Z teen. (Platonic)

✒Lucifer.

He can already picture himself struggling with you.

Six brothers to take care of + a TEEN? Man is about to loose it.

If you are an introverted he will like you automatically and feel relieved that you will not always get into his brothers shenanigans.

If you are an extroverted (or just a curious one tbh) he will keep an eye on you 24/7 so you won't get into Mammon schemes or Satan's nerves and get yourself in trouble.

Really amused if you like demons and angels, will curse himself for misreading but will not hate himself too much since you are not that scared.

Gets tired of you quickly if you make too many questions and will always send you to ask Mammon or if it's something that he doesn't know himself he will ask Diavolo and tell you later but he will (of course) act all high and mighty as if he already knew the answer to such question.

Will practically adopt you and spoil you a lot because hes is big brother.

Overprotective. Oh you met a lesser demon and you want to go on a date with them? Haha he won't let you.

You will be the only person who gets in trouble and leaves with just a warning.

Also you are totally his soft spot. Man can't resist your sad face and will do anything to make you happy even if he doesn't like to admit that.

Totally lost when it comes to TikTok/memes references and will ask about it a lot.

✒Mammon

He is amazing. Not only does whatever you ask him to but also has the best ways to get you out of boredom.

He will teach you how to scam people and how to be a good thief even if you don't need it or want it.

Teaches you about demons and angels without even knowing. Sometimes he drops random facts but it's not until he realizes you write down what he says that he stops doing it just to hear you ask him things so he can act all smug and smart.

If someone breaks your heart he will be ready to throw hands,no one hurts their little siblings.

Like Lucifer,he adopted you and always claims to be "the one you choose to be with you first" making sure his brothers hear him.

He will help you make your homework. Even if he doesn't understand he will try his best.

Please refer to him sometimes as "big brother" he will die.

When he saves your ass from getting killed by lesser demons he will be ready to receive the biggest hug ever and is absolutely ready to be praised.

If he saves you and you say "thanks,big brother" now you have a problem. He will brag about it for a week (at least).

Will steal things from you to keep them with him when he is going thru an episode. It reminds him that someone thinks of him as worthy and love deserving.

Will die for you,you are not only family now but his favorite person.

Will compliment you in the best brotherhood way he can "looking good today,kid", "your hair looks nice,brat" and "You are the best looking sibling after me of course" are his go to compliments. Mostly does it because you compliment him back and because he knows his comments make you feel closer to him and boy loves it.

✒Levi

If you are an introvert like him you can expect him to go out of his room more often just to see you or talk to you.

If you are not he will try to make you an indoors person but if he can't he is might be willing to take a risk and go out once a week but just to the manga store and back,don't expect more,normie.

If you like any thing he likes he will try to test you and prove he is better than you,he doesn't give a fuck you are practically a child he can't loose.

If he wins he will be very happy and more open to you to open up with some things.

If he doesn't win he will cry when he is alone and call himself an ugly unworthy idiot who can't even be considered an otaku but relax my dude,MC will go to you and reassure you you know better than them and that they will love to hear what you have to say (even if they don't mean it,they love you and will love to see you happy again).

Knows the basics about demons and angels so he is not the best to go to if you have too many questions. That's the only time he will let his envy go away and tell you to go to Satan or Lucifer since they know more than him.

He does not takes his duty as a big brother as something serious since Lucifer is always there but if you call him "big brother" he is going to take that role serious but for you and you only.

Will 100% find siblings cosplays and gets you to do it with him.

If you ever said something like "I'm lucky that my big brother is also my best friend" he might tear up a little since he has never been considered someone's best friend ever.

If any of his brothers try to get you to call him "big brother" he will go on a rampage unless it's Lucifer. Boy is envious not dumb.

If it was Lucifer he will go to him later and ask you if he can stop trying to get you to call him that way because that's they way you call him and it makes him feel special. Lucifer will probably agree because he knows Levi doesn't feel special often so he might give in; if he doesn't Levi will start an argument and won't stop until Lucifer cuts him off or agrees.

Keep calling him big brother, he adores it.

✒Satan

As grumpy as he is,he loves to have yo by his side. Not because he loves company but because he likes to be able to answer all your questions.

Ask him anything about demons or angels and he knows it,fuck he is smart.

Will get you a notebook so you can write what he says and will give you books to read as "extra homework" it's kind of a bad deal if you think of it but it's his way to show love.

The only person who calls him "big brother" often is Asmo and got used to it coming from him and him only. If he hears you calling him that way he will probably jump out of happiness when he is alone but for know he will just answer to that name name and act like nothing happened.

You don't want to do your homework? Fine you can copy mine but just this once.

If you struggle with anything he will solve it for you,no cap.

He will get you cat themed items like pencils, notebooks,necklaces or rings.

Matching is a must. Not because he likes the concept of being associated with a part of someone but because he will love to brag with his brothers obviously.

Will definitely get mad if you ask any type of demon/angel related thing to others.

Names a cat after you but it's the cats middle name so he won't get mocked. Won't tell you tho.

Very very protective but good at hiding it. He might be following you down the street but you wouldn't even know. Kinda creepy? Yes. Have you ever got eaten? Nope.

✒Asmo

Yes! Exactly what he was waiting for.

You are part of his experiments. You don't like makeup? Well now you do. What type of clothes do you have? Do you have an aesthetic? No? Well now you do.

He is always there when you need him to. Best of them all to give advise when needed.

Definitely will be annoyed by all of your questions but will try to be as gentle as possible to tell you that.

Can help you to become really good at comebacks,believe him he knows best than anyone.

He is the one making sure you are educated when comes to sex. Simple but worthy lessons such as "sex is about experimenting and finding what you really like but you always need your partners consent" or "always have a safe word,even when you have vanilla type of sex" or the best one yet "if they want to fuck with you that's fine but always remember to use protection because I will not like to see you having a child so young or having an abortion" because yeah that's what big brothers do.

If you hit him with the "you are the best,big brother" he will jump into your arms and say that he knows he is the best but that hearing that was way too magical,do it again!

He is very aware of insecurities and will try to be the shoulder you cry on if you need to,he is always there to wipe of your tears (or wipe off the ones who hurt you).

Not as protective as the others but keeps an eye on you because your curiosity might hurt you.

Will be crushed if he sees you suffering from the most minimal thing. That lipstick does not fit your skin color? Fuck that lipstick! We are getting new ones,go get Lucifers card!

Spoils you way more than any other because he wants to create a brat. He needs to have someone like you who will cling into Lucifer and beg him to let you do dumb things because you know Lucifer can't say no to you. He needs your power and is not afraid to tell you that

Constant reassurance. He always calls you by cute nicknames and as long as you call him "my beautiful big brother" every time he is amused.

✒Beel

Baby is ready to give you life lessons. Don't stab anyone,drink enough water and be patient with the ones you love.

Yes,he learned the "don't stab anyone" from talking to Belphie.

Is very lost when it comes to you being so interested in demons and angels because he is not used to be the one answering the questions but making them. Bare with him, he is trying to get a good answer.

Will ask for advice on how to answer you, probably goes to Lucifer but mostly Belphie.

Soon you two start doing things together that involve learning from humans and angels. Maybe you are walking down the street working out and when you both start chatting about demon life and suddenly everything stops.

Beel is clueless when it comes to comforting someone about an insecuritie since he was the one being comforted most of the times but will give you space if you need to or do whatever you feel comfy with.

If you call him "big brother" he will hug you like no one has ever hugged you before. Teddy bear hugs are a must now.

Will die for you and is not afraid of telling you such. "MC I will die for you" "whAt?" "As your big brother I may protect you with my life" "Please don't."

Tells you how much he wants you to be happy and constantly asks if you have any type of dreams or goals.

If you do have goals or dreams he will encourage you to go get it. Beel is there to support you no matter what.

✒Belphie.

Absolutely fucking not.

Why is everyone spoiling this stupid brat and not me? I hate them.

But hold on there,he doesn't completely hates you he just hates the attention you get.

If you go to him with a soft attitude and ask him if you can nap together he will say yes and will enjoy the moment a lot .

He has never been someone's big brother so it kinda hits him if you call him like that and will try to act confident and smug about it but it's kinda terrified.

What if he doesn't catch up on the big brother thing and fucks up? He doesn't want to disappoint you or make you feel awkward. So he copies his big brother and tries his best,believe me he does.

You need help with something? Ugh well I will help but you owe me one (you don't owe him anything really,he just doesn't wants to be seen as soft for you). Oh did someone caused you problems? No biggie,I will take care of it.

Spoiler alert: he is very overprotective with you,he doesn't want to lose you.

[elysianslove]

Hi! <3 I'm the roomate hc anon again (lol) and can I request best friends to lovers hc for iwaizumi, kuroo and oikawa? Also this blog is gonna blow up soon so remember me when you're famous bro 😌✊️❤️

OMG HI AGAIN! i’m so sorry this is late :( but oh my the excitement that flooded through me when i saw this request hsvhjsd. i really hope you enjoy this!! also vshdks i luv u bb THANK YOU.

iwaizumi hajime

im making these as detailed as fuck so i apologize in advance <3

becoming best friends with hajime was a very out of the blue thing 

the two of you shared a lot of classes together, and since you were always seeing each other, you’d choose each other as partners a lot 

you’d sit next to him in all the classes that you could

you’d meet up a lot during school breaks and just hang out 

you two clicked very well honestly, like you found that it was so easy to talk to him, and it was so easy to lose yourself in the conversation 

most of your convos are v mature and sophisticated too like

it’s nice when you can talk to someone on the same brain wavelength as you yk 😼

anyways overtime you’d come to his practice sessions, and even if they were long you’d just stay and watch bc why not

if you had hw to do and he noticed you were a lil stressed about it, he’d tell u to come study while he practiced as a change of scenery and all 

he’d walk you home almost every night at this point

oikawa noticing and being jealous <3 

“they’re stealing you from me!” “they’re not— what is wrong with you oikawa.” 

okay so this best friend stuff has been going on for a long time

long enough for you to realize you wanted more from him

but this is iwaizumi hajime and it’s almost impossible to know what he’s thinking 

like

ever 

so you just keep it to yourself, thinking it’s just a small crush and it’s not worth ruining what the two of you have at this rate 

so all this had happened first year, and when you’re nearing the end of your second year

that’s when you realize that

shit

it’s not just a crush

and when you have feelings for someone, every little thing they do expands a million times in your head

so a hug from him that you’d once never go over twice has you thinking about it as you go to sleep

the hoodies he’d lend you during practice while you stayed in the gym bc it was ungodly cold in there now send tingles down your spine at the lingering scent of him

the way he’d grab your hand to drag you somewhere now leave a heavy effect on your palm, forcing you to trace it once he’s gone 

his texts give you butterflies 

every time his name pops up on your phone screen you have a mini heart attack

and yeah

those are all symptoms of a crush

but is a crush meant to last this long? 

at the start of your third year, you greet him outside of the school gates after not seeing you all summer

he smiles so bright and hugs you so, so tightly 

you already are so hyperaware of how strong iwa is

but the feelings you have for him that won’t go away are so not helping your fixation on the feel of his biceps 

anyways before this becomes v nsfw 

you two catch up like u had met yesterday 

and then at the end of the day, after practice, which you stay for bc u missed ur vbc boys 🥺

he walks you home 

like always

and as he stands by your front door, in a burst of courage, he takes your hand in his and pulls you harshly towards him, pushing his body against yours and capturing your lips in a heated kiss

it’s so messy and harsh and you pretty much collided 

but holy shit

you were pretty sure fireworks erupted when you two kissed

years of pining and what had felt like unrequited love finally being resolved 

it’s the most satisfying feeling ever

you never want to stop kissing him

but alas </3 

when he pulls back, you’re both breathing so heavily 

you’re not sure if it’s the adrenaline or the kiss itself 

and he just looks at you and goes “did u tan while you’re away ur eyes look brighter” 

no sir i am in love with you

when you two officiate things 

he’s actually way shyer than he was as best friends??? 

like as best friends he wouldn’t feel slightly weird about hugging you in public or grabbing at your hand randomly or being seen alone with you

but now like

people know ??? and somehow that scares iwa 

or makes him uncomfortable 

idk he just feels iffy

but ur so understanding bless ur heart <3 

ur so careful with him and take it at his own pace 

zero pda at the start of the relationship 

like he won’t even wanna hug u in front of the seijoh team 

but slowly he warms up 

and he starts getting more comfortable with things like hand holding and occasional pecks on the cheek/lips 

your traditions as best friends don’t die as lovers 

if anything you believe in them even more 

now you watch more diligently during practice 

you proudly attend his games in his jersey, cheering the loudest for him (and for the rest of the boys bc they: best) 

walks home with you are so much more serene 

always gives you a kiss before he parts ways 

idk it’s like some sort of commemoration for your first kiss/confession 

unless you invite him inside 😏

this is so fucking long im so sorry i just love iwa 

anyways anybody want boyfriend!iwa headcanons i got a lot hehe 

to conclude, it was so gradual and inevitable with the two of you, and you’re forever glad it happened when it did and you hadn’t rushed anything <3333

oikawa tōru

unlike hajime, this wasn’t something that took one or two years

this bitch couldn’t admit he was in love with you for like 10 years okay 

you’ve known him for the majority of your life, because you’d always lived in close proximity to each other 

but you were never best friends yk? just acquaintances 

it was around the end of middle school when you two got close

cause you saw he was applying to aoba johsai for high school

and you were like !!! i’m going there too 

at first he was like stop copying me 😾 

you guys had a staring contest bc y’all are idiots and there were legit tears streaming down ur face but u were not about to lose to a pissbaby like him

he blinked 😁👍🏼

and he lost 

and then he decided “you’re my best friend now ” 

anyways aside iwa, he now had someone else he was going into high school with

like it’s a completely new environment but he had two people he very much liked going with him !!! 

when the time came around to like apply for/join clubs, you had been so clueless 

but toru stuck by you !! and he was so adamant on helping you !! 

he would sit with you after school as he practiced tossing with hajime and just brainstorm with you what you liked to do

it’s what brought you two closer together

cause you realized just how many things in common you had with him 

for a full week he tried to help you come up with something

for the sake of this hc let’s say u decide to join the newsletter club 

you’re very wary at first but then he’s like when ur part of it you’ll visit the vbc regularly so u can take pictures/observe to write essays 

the fact that toru would be there kinda set you at ease 

now you’ve never seen toru play properly 

he’s practiced in front of you before

plenty of times

but a proper match? or a practice one? 

never 

so it’s safe to say u were in awe when you got assigned to go watch a practice match against (idk pick a school) 

it’s embarrassing to admit but your eyes were on him the entire time 

thank god he became the captain later on else it’d be so sus 

you really tried to pay attention to anybody else lmfao 

it’s kinda what drew you to him more

you still didn’t really have feelings

you only realized just how passionate he is about everything 

at some point you had an essay to write for your newsletter about the volleyball club

but you were having a hard time like really getting into it

so you immediately just called toru and were like “help 😃” 

he came over and you asked him a bunch of questions, and he would go on deadass 20 min rants for each of them

you were just 

so amazed 

like how could someone have so much passion for something like this?

you realize how but that’s for later

overtime you two got closer bc of how much your work was associated with him

he’s incredible as a best friend 

he’s the first one with the school’s weekly newsletter as soon as it’s out

granted it’s to read the section about him but yk, the sentiment’s there 

also love, love, loves lazy days with you 

he doesnt even care if the boys know that he worships the chick flicks you two watch 

i feel like oikawa would be an avid anime watcher

idk why i just do 

so he’d be blasting anime theme songs on a speaker as you’re in the shower and he’s in your room waiting for you and you’re both just singing w the sound of water rushing down 

actually it’s not just anime songs it’s all songs 

a l l songs 

anyways

so you two get really close, and then he has a super important match coming up 

let’s say it’s the spring interhigh one against karasuno

the one they won

idk im just choosing at random 

and the night before he’s like begging you on text to wear his jersey

he’s like PLEASE NO ONE’S EVER DONE THAT FOR ME

you’re like bruh u have a cult following ????? 

but eventually u say yes

ur not really sure where it’s coming from but this is oikawa he’s an unpredictable as can be

when you show up in a jersey he so conveniently left at your house once

he’s so genuinely shocked even though he was the one that asked for this???

gives you the biggest hug like spins you around and just 

“you’re my lucky charm” 

when he wins 

after celebrating with his team

he runs over to you

and just

he kisses you

full on the mouth

it’s probably the rush and excitement of winning that gave him the courage to finally spill all his feelings out into this kiss

you’re in his jersey, in the stands and you genuinely feel like it’s only just the two of you

despite how sudden it was the kiss is so gentle, like he’d been planning it since forever 

“i told you you’re my lucky charm” he says as he rests his forehead against yours and kisses you gently again

oikawa had already been affectionate as your best friend

always displaying his love outwardly with like always calling out your name so loud whenever he sees you and giving you bone crushing hugs

deadass his 6’0 self will just jump on you 

but now it’s extra

makki always gags around the two of you but you just stick ur tongue out at him and go “ur just mad ur best friend’s getting some pussy/dick and ur not” 

makki then proceeds to shriek at you like a fucking banshee <3 

anyways 

yes 

oikawa best friends to lovers excellence is so cute eeeekkk

and now u always wear his jersey at games 

(u couldnt make it to the game against karasuno where they lost for whatever reason and he held it against u for the longest time)

(“maybe if a certain someone were there we wouldn’t have lost”)

what a big baby you love him

kuroo tetsurō

AH SEXY CHEMISTRY NERD 👅👅👅

kuroo as ur best friend 

im frothing 

i feel like you’d grow close after meeting at an event or something 

like you’re a friend of a friend of a friend 

i see kuroo as someone who’s so suave and cool and flirty with people he doesn’t have feelings for

but put the crush factor in and he’s a mess

like his brain just stops working

so when he first met you

he thought u were so fucking hot 

but that’s it

his lower body was doing all the thinking <3 

so he was so flirty 

and that’s essentially what your friendship is built off of 

and when friends are so flirty with each other, they generally grow close and trust each other really quickly 

ur not a nekoma student but ur in tokyo so you meet up often 

you just

it’s so nice to be around him

you find it so easy to just be yourself around him 

going out with him is super fun 

and a lot of the times you guys have study dates and you literally don’t talk except during the 10 min breaks you two take

it’s just hyper focus for the two of you which is great

he really channels the best student in you what a man ! 

i think during your third year of high school you two got insanely close

because you were highly unsure if you were gonna leave japan or stay 

so you wanted to make the most out of everything 

so you’d go out with him more often

he’d stay during the weekends and you two would like bake christmas goods all night even if it’s literally september lmfao

cuddling is so natural 

like you’re both so touchy with each other but not in a weird way just a super comfortable kind of way

like if you’re shorter than him, he’s always leaning his arm on you like you’re his arm rest 

it’s a win win bc he gets to touch you and tease you

wow the horny really jumped out in that one

anyways

you go to every single one of his games !!

cheer him on so!! fucking!! loud!!

you probably make a provocative sign and stand a chair and just wave it around and kuroo’s so heart eyes lmfao

the climb up to becoming lovers is so

natural? 

i think kuroo first realizes that maybe, yk, he wants those flirtatious comments to mean something and those random touches to hold more romantic value to them, when you two are out together

it’s a completely chill day and it’s not really warm not really chilly. you’re just comfortable 

he takes you to a park after buying the both of you ice cream from the stand across the street and sits down at a bench with you

just people watching 

and then it kinda goes really silent

but 

it’s not awkward??? like at all???

he’s not looking to fill the silence with any random words

he’s just

enjoying simply being with you

and he glances at you momentarily and it hits him like so hard just how pretty you are 

his eyes slightly widen like

holy fuck

what the f u ck

remember when i said he’s all cool until feelings come into play

yeah 😼

he literally freezes up and blurts out, without even meaning to, “i think i have feelings for you.” 

he really didnt even process he said that

you kinda

pause for a second

and then you realize what you said and you just smile and lean over towards him, lifting your thumb up to the corner of his lips and brushing away some ice cream

“you think?” you tease, and then at the spot where the ice cream was misplaced, you placed a gentle kiss

he kinda relaxes and then eyes you as he says, “i know.” 

it is just. heaven after that

i think the two of you would be less flirty around each other once becoming official 

like yeah he definitely comments once or twice every now and then and don’t get me wrong, so do you

but it’s just less frequent 

like a blanket has been lifted to uncover the true, hidden meanings behind the comments and you can now just breathe easier 

you two end up in the same uni on accident hevejsk

like you had a long ass talk about how it’s okay if you didn’t end up in the same uni you’d still make it work

and it would’ve worked tbh

fate just ships you two too much

when you told each other you were literally that spiderman meme of the two spidermen pointing at each other lmao

power couple of the uni

power couple of tokyo

power couple of japan

you’re literally so happy with him you wouldn’t trade him for the world 

and maybe you saw it coming 

but it still remains a shock whenever you wake up and he’s there laying next to you, smiling lazily at you before reaching over to give you a gentle kiss 

anyways happy early birthday king i love you kuroo hehe

end note; i really had a lotta fun w this one omg!! thank you again for requesting, anon, and i hope everybody else enjoyed!! feel free to request, mwah <3

[darthkruge]

hey could you do a jess mariano x reader where the reader has dyslexia but loves to read. someone at school makes a comment about her being dumb and she gets insecure but jess is super reassuring to the reader about how intelligent she is. also they can either be already dating or have mutual crushes. whatever you think fits better. <3

Jess Mariano x Dyslexic!Reader ~ All of You

Summary: Someone at school insults the dyslexic reader and their boyfriend, Jess, provides reassurance. 

Warnings: Bullying, language, insecurities, I think that’s it? 

Words: 2.1k

A/N: Hey!! I’m so, so sorry this took me so long to get to! I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t mean to keep you in the ask box void. I really enjoyed writing this, so thank you for requesting! I decided to make them already be dating because that’s where my brain went hehe. I hope you like it :)

You walked to school hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, as always. Even though it took him about 15-20 minutes out of the way, Jess never missed walking with you. He hated the thought of you starting your day by yourself and never wanted you to feel forgotten about or lonely. Thus, the tradition began and it has stayed the way you start your day, everyday, for the last few months that you’ve been dating. 

Jess pulled you behind the science building, pressing his lips to yours. Your hands instinctively wove into his hair and his arms wound around your waist, pulling your bodies together. He smiled into the kiss before pulling away from your lips and gently moving his kisses down the side of your neck. You hummed in content before moving to meet his face again, once again pressing your lips to his. 

These stolen moments were what you lived for. You’d never felt too confident in yourself, at least as far as relationships went, and you weren’t used to this kind of affection. Even so, you loved every moment of it. Everything with Jess felt so natural. No matter what, you came first to him and he never failed to show it. 

You both pulled away and he softly kissed your forehead.

“See you after second period?”

“Of course” 

“Okay, love. Text me if you need me. Or if you’re bored. Or if you miss me”

“Oh, yes! That Jess Mariano charm. I’m not sure how I’ll endure two classes without it!”

“I’m sure it’ll prove quite e difficult,” Jess said, laughing. The bell rang and he gave you one last smile before you parted. 

You walked into your English class with a smile on your face, giddy after the experience with him. He made you feel alive. It was the kind of feeling you didn’t know you needed, but once you felt it you couldn’t imagine losing it. 

You sat down in your seat, waiting for the teacher to start class. 

“Okay, everyone. Today we’re just going to be doing some silent reading for the first half of class and then I’ll put you in small groups to work on a new project”

Fuck. Group projects were the fucking worst. Unless you got one of your friends, people were normally assholes and impossible to work with. 

Even though you were upset with the new development, you were excited to have time to read. You pulled out your copy of The Great Gatsby that Jess had lent you and picked up where you last left off. Because you read so much and generally did well or at least half-decent in school, people never assumed you had dyslexia. Lots of people had this false narrative that if you have dyslexia, you must hate reading. It was something you were used to, the stupid comments and assumptions. You tried to not let it get to you but you sometimes felt frustrated. You’d run into loads of ignorant people in your life and while you weren’t ashamed to have dyslexia, you hated having to explain it to every new teacher, every new friend in your life. You never knew how’d they’d react.

Even so, reading was one of your greatest joys in life. Losing yourself in the work, in the story, it was enthralling. You loved to find characters that you connected with. Their emotions were palpable and made you feel validated and less alone. Reading was one of the main things that brought you and Jess together. He knew you had dyslexia and, thankfully, never treated you like you were any less. You were afraid he would break up with you once you told him, but, of course, he didn’t. You were still you, and that’s all he cared about. 

He loved trading books with you and hearing your thoughts on them. In doing so, he felt the two of you were brought closer together. Discussing literature was an almost intimate experience in your relationship. Learning which characters and themes resonated with a person was truly illuminating about their personality and mind. Right now, as you read Gatsby, Jess was reading Pride and Prejudice. You loved Jane Austen, as did Jess, and you completely enjoyed discussing her work. 

After a few moments lost in thought, your teacher’s voice pulled you back to the present. “Alright! Okay so for the group project you will be analyzing the short story “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson. Please read it together today and discuss what you think the most pertinent theme is. I’ve already assigned the groups and I’ll display them on the board right now.”

Your teacher stepped back and turned on the projector so you could see the groups. Scanning for your name, you internally groaned when you saw who you were with. Sarah, Justin, and Alex. They were all close and their friend group didn’t exactly have the best reputation. You grabbed your bag, walked over to them, and sat down.

“So, y’all just wanna read it? Then just talk about it, I guess. We’re looking for themes, right?” Sarah asked.

Everyone nodded, opening up the copies of the short story placed on your desks. You jumped in and immediately felt yourself pulled into the writing. After a few minutes, your eyes glued to the story, you heard the rest of your group closing their packets. 

“Alright, everyone done?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, you?” Alex said

Sarah nodded in agreement.

You, on the other hand, felt your cheeks flush. You were only about 70% through the story. “Sorry, I just need a bit more time, is that okay?”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Just hurry up,” Sarah groaned. 

Your face burning, you went back to the reading. It wasn’t like you weren’t trying, you were! They just wouldn’t understand it. You couldn’t count the amount of times people had told you to just “focus more”. It made your blood boil, honestly. It was so dismissive and you couldn't believe people still thought that way. You always focused and it wasn’t your fault, and, yet, morons like these three persisted. After a few more minutes, you heard Alex again.

“Come on! You can’t possibly still be reading?”

“I’m sorry, just-” You sighed, running your hands through your hair. “Please, just a few more minutes?”

“God, you’re so fucking stupid. No wonder no one wants to work with you. All you do is hold people up, you’re a goddamn idiot” Alex said.

Your eyes burned and unshed tears started to push their way up but you fought them down. You wouldn’t let yourself cry in front of them. They didn’t deserve to see how they’d affected you. 

Finally, the bell went off and you were able to leave. Your group glared at you and you realized you  hadn’t discussed the themes. 

“It’s, um, the story’s about the juxtaposition of peace and violence. Even though the people are in a calm, controlled setting, they resort to violence every year. It’s an outdated tradition they keep up and, thus, it highlights the difference between their actions and how they want to be perceived.” You said quickly, voice wavering. 

Your group scoffed before walking off. That didn’t bother you too much. You knew your analysis was accurate and probably far better than anything they could have come up with, even if they’d spent the last 15 minutes of class discussing it. Despite this, you still felt deflated. The shit they’d said, the way they’d treated you? You couldn’t deny it, it got to you. 

You walked over to your locker and put your stuff away. After that, you decided you were just going to go home. You could call the school later and say you were feeling sick or something. Honestly, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were just so drained, you needed to get away from this place and the people in it.

However, you didn’t want Jess to worry. You sent him a quick text saying you weren’t feeling well and put on your headphones before walking out of the school.

What you didn’t expect was Jess to come flying out of nowhere, appearing by your side as if you’d summoned him.

“Jess! What are you doing? Don’t you have class!”

He shrugged. “You weren’t feeling well. Did you honestly expect I’d leave you by yourself? And, seriously, Y/N, you know I hate this place. You’re the only thing that makes it bearable so if you  wouldn’t be here, why should I?”

You nodded and kept walking forward. Jess looked at you quizzically, trying to decode your dejected state. He kept quiet, knowing not to push you to talk. He trusted you’d come to him when you were ready. Therefore, he simply followed you until you made it off campus, where you turned into a random alley and suddenly stopped walking.

Jess caught himself, almost running right into you. You suddenly turned around, dropped your bag, and bolted right into his chest. He was caught off guard but instinctively brought his arms around you, trying to comfort you. He noticed you were crying, your broken sobs getting muffled in his shirt. He soothingly rubbed his arms up and down your back, desperately trying to give you solace. After you finally quieted down, Jess gently and slowly pulled you back.

His hands gripped your shoulders as he studied your face, your sad gaze meeting his. “What happened?”

“Stupid English, that’s all”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t shut me out. What happened?” He said, his tone kind.

“I-” You trailed off, trying to keep your composure. “Some kids just said some shit. I was just reading slower than them and they said some shit. It’s not a big deal, I just- it got to me, okay?”

“Who?” Jess said, firmly this time.

“Jess-”

“Who, Y/N?”

“Alex, Justin, and Sarah.” 

Jess groaned, rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes. “Fuck them, Y/N. They’re fucking ridiculous and they don’t know anything about you”

“I know, I know. That’s why I’m so goddamn frustrated! Because, like, it did get to me. Jess- Jess, they’re right. I felt like an idiot today, I felt stupid. And I hate feeling that way!” Hot tears smarmed in your eyes, the frustration and anger bringing them out. 

Jess’s gaze softened. As livid as he felt toward the three of them, he knew that’s not what you needed right now. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Love, take a breath. I’ve got you, okay?” 

You nodded, your breathing shaky from the stress of the day. 

“I’m sorry that happened today. Listen to me, Y/N. You’re so smart. You’re smarter than I am, hell, you’re smarter than anyone at that school! They’ve got nothing on you!”

You looked at him and smiled at his words but shook your head. “You don’t need to do that, Jess”

“Yes, I do. We promised we’d be honest in our relationship, right? Well, that’s all I’m doing. Seriously, Y/N, who else at that school could debate the themes in literature with me like you? Who could discuss the importance of accurate representation in books with me? Who could talk to me about just how influential YA books are and why they should be taken seriously-?”

“They are and they should!” You cut in.

Jess laughs, nodding in agreement. “Exactly!! You’re amazing, Y/N. And I swear those fuckheads are gonna get what’s coming to them”

“Jess-” You warn.

“Okay, okay!” He laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “They just- they messed with you and made you upset and I fucking hate that”

“I hated it too. I hate doubting myself because of my dyslexia. I feel so shit about myself when I get in that headspace and I start spiraling and it gets out of control so fast.” 

“I know. It’s not your fault when those spirals happen. And I know you know this, but I’m just gonna remind you: you’re not any less because you’re dyslexic. It doesn’t make you stupid or anything. It’s a part of you and I love you, all of you”

Your heart swelled at his words. Everyone thought Jess wasn’t good expressing his emotions but you knew the truth. He was quite eloquent when he wanted to be, he just sometimes had trouble with vulnerability. You didn’t blame him for it, with his past it made perfect sense. But when you needed that reassurement, that compassion, you could always count on him for it. 

He moved to place a kiss on your forehead before slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Let’s go home, okay?”

“Okay” You smiled up at him and kissed him once more before tucking your head into his shoulder. He pulled you closer and you grabbed his free hand with yours as you continued to walk through the Stars Hollow streets together.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

⛽️ �� FIRE AND GASOLINE 🔥⛽️ (PART 1?)

Prompt: Y/N’s life has changed drastically, precisely 10 years ago and all because of an adorable lunatic and two little maniacs. But what will happen when a divergency of thoughts leads Y/N and her lunatic to say some pretty harsh words, that they know they will regret it later?

Word count: Maybe too long?

Pairing: Jon Moxley (or even Dean Ambrose if that’s your liking) x Reader

Warnings: For now, just some cursing and angst

Notes: His time has finally arrived and I couldn’t be more nervous about it! This goes out to my sincerely unhealthy love for Jon Moxley and my mixed feelings about having kids (sounds like a good match right?). Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

A light smile formed on my lips as I watched through the kitchen sink window Atticus and Rosie play in the backyard as I did the dishes. I never thought that my life could change for the better with a 6 and 4 years old..and to think that I never thought of myself as the maternal type.

The plate I was rinsing off almost broke on the sink as my body jumped from fright, when a pair of hands embraced my hips

“Oh God, you almost gave me a heart attack! Are you crazy?”

“Not really, just a little lunatic..” He laughed “I’m sorry it wasn’t my intention to frighten you, but once I saw that ass kitten I lost my fucking mind! Just like I did 10 years ago...” His hands roamed on my hips until they reached my ass that he lightly slapped. “Did you miss me, cherry?” His lips glued on the nape of my neck

‘Cherry’ that lame ass nickname he gave me 10 years ago...and all because my cheeks go incredibly red when I blush or whenever the weather gets cold making a huge contrast against my pale skin.

“Of course I missed you! This house gets too boring without you in it” I lightly chuckled

“Is that the only reason why you missed me?” He grinds his bulge on my ass, as an insinuation to what he actually meant by that question

“Jon, the kids are outside...”

“I’m not doing anything, I’m just asking an innocent question kitten” He nibs my neck

I turn around to face him, placing my arms around his neck leaning in for a kiss. It started innocently, but Jon Moxley wouldn’t be Jon Moxley if things were kept innocent.

His hands reached the hem of my tank top, sliding in to meet my bare skin, he roams up til he finally founds what he was looking for.

“Fuck baby, I missed these” He whispers as he softly but firmly squeezes my breasts. As much as I would like to have some fun time with my husband it’s not ‘adult time’ yet, which meant the kids were still up. So no ‘dirty deeds’ for us just yet.

I took the little bit of sanity I still had and broke the kiss

“Jon, that’ll have to wait babe”

He sighs “C’mon Y/N is just a quickie kitten, the kids won’t even notice you’re not here..just a few pumps in, I swear!”

“The last time you wanted to give it just ‘a few pumps in’ I was birthing Rosie 9 months later” I reminded him

“So? We love each other, we’re an adult couple with a beautiful family and a lot of love to give” He nibs my bottom lip “What’s wrong with having another little maniac? I wouldn’t mind! We make some pretty fucking good looking kids, we should start practicing another one now” He vaguely said

Oh God not this again... This has been a pretty heated topic between Jon and I, he was always crazy about kids but I wasn’t very fondly of them. When I found out I was pregnant with Atticus I lost my mind! I wasn’t sure about the whole ‘mommy’ commitment for life thing, I didn’t even knew if I had one single bone of motherhood in me. That soon changed though when I first held Atticus on my arms, at that moment I knew my heart was sold to some stinky bum that would call me ‘mom’ for the rest of my life. Rosie was a surprise too, we haven’t even talked about the possibility of having another kid and I was already pregnant with her.

Right after that the baby factory was officially closed to me but not for Jon, he wanted at least two more kids and I didn’t, he had a bit of a trouble understanding that back then I didn’t even wanted my first one! I love my kids, I would die for them in a blink but that doesn’t mean that I eagerly look forward being pregnant every goddamn year.

Jon’s job doesn’t help either, with him constantly being on the road I do most of the raising when it comes to the kids. Of course he still is an amazing father in the short amount of time he is home but still, I’m the one who has to do the working, cooking, cleaning, give baths, put to bed, take to swimming classes, brazilian jiu-jitsu classes, dentist appointments, running to the emergency at 3am because one of them is suddenly sick while the other one sleeps at the emergency’s waiting room chair, wiping off their tears whenever daddy has to leave again..

“Jon, not this topic again, please” I beg

“What is wrong with me wanting to discuss having another baby with the woman that I love?”

“It’s not that simple Jon, I wish it was but is not” I said slightly angry

“Yes it is that simple Y/N! You’re the one who’s always trying to complicate things” He let go of my hips

Great! Now he’s angry too. That’s just what I needed!

“Jon look, I don’t want us to fight ok? You just got home and we all miss each other so why don’t we drop it for now huh?”

I tried to wave the white flag, but I should’ve known it wouldn’t work with Jon ‘The Stubborn’ Moxley

“Of course you want to drop it, it’s not of your interest is it? No it isn’t! You always do this! Whenever a subject doesn’t matter to you, you don’t wanna talk about it, you’re always so selfish! Always thinking about yourself, never once caring about me or what I want! Selfish as fuck!” He raised his voice

When people say that words can hurt more than actions they were right. If he had punched me in the face it wouldn’t hurt as much as the harshness of his words. To say that I am selfish? After everything I left behind just to be with him? That hurt! And instead of doing the adult thing and keep my mouth shut before I said something I knew I would regret it, I did the Y/N thing where I run my mouth with harsher words than he’s previous ones just so I could hurt him as much as he hurt me

“I’m selfish? Me? Oh you better place the mirror in front of your own face to find the definition for that word Jonathan! You are the one who gets to make your ‘wrestler life’ on the road, living like a single man with not even one worry on your mind while I get behind with two kids and all the shit that comes with the package! It’s easy for you to say it with your 15 minutes FaceTime parenting that you do! In the mean time I have to be the bad guy who has to always say no because glorious dad is on the road chasing his dream for when he gets home he will do all of his kids luxuries so he can try to compensate his absence with Barbie dolls and hot wheels cars! So yeah I’m the selfish one Jonathan, good thing you notice that” I regretted those words as soon as they fell from my lips.

Jon’s eyes briefly showed the hurt caused by them but he soon replaced that with rage and pride before lifting his head up to say

“And is thanks to glorious dad that you have this comfortable house, a nice car and a shit ton of food on your table sweetheart. Let’s be honest here Y/N, how are you supposed to support yourself and the kids with your shitty excuse for a salary? I wipe my ass with the pitiful money that you make” He huffed

I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life. Yes my paycheck was mere cents compared to his, but I worked hard for my money, I was proud to have my own money, to share the bills with him and was proud for not taking the easy path of relying on a rich man to support myself (like my dear old mother proudly did). So the fact that he took something that was so prideful to me and used to humiliate me, made me for once rethink all of our 10 years together and if it was worth it at all.

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes and Jon seemed to have realized what he just said as for he reached his hand to cup my cheek

“Kitten, I-“

“Don’t! Don’t touch me, I don’t want you anywhere near me” I said in between sobs

“Y/N please I-“

“Mommy, why are you crying?” I saw Rosie’s smile die on her lips once she saw me crying.

I heard Atticus’ fast footsteps coming by the french doors to stop by Rosie

“Yay, daddy’s home- Mommy are you ok? Why are you crying? Did you get hurt?” His small but smart baby blue eyes roamed my face and my body for any signs of physical hurt

“Yes stinker, mommy got hurt” I said trying to hold back my sobs

“Where? I can’t see anything” Those clever blue orbs that were a faithful copy of Jon’s roamed through me once more trying to find the injury

“Why don’t you guys come here and tell daddy how much you’ve missed him while mommy goes upstairs to clean up the scratch?”

They just nodded and ran towards Jon, who took them both in his arms

“Y/N” He started but I gave him a look that made him go silent.

I reached the safety of my bedroom, feeling the urgent need to run away. Run away from him, from this house, from this country. Taking with me only the clothes on my body and my two little beasties...the immature part of me yelled ‘do it, do it’ but the grownup in me knows I can’t do this. It’s not fair to the kids, they barely get to see their father whom they love and miss so much. It’s not fair to Jon either, he loves those kids more than he’s own life.

But right now I needed my safe place (or better, person), I needed to breath so I called her and when I received the ok on spending 3 days at her house I packed a small little bag with enough close for just those days, as I was zipping up the bag a faint knock came from the bedroom door soon after being followed by it opening.

“Kitten, can we talk- What are you doing?” He asked in urgency as he bursts into the bedroom approaching me.

“I’m gonna go to Nancy’s” I vaguely said looking at anywhere but him

“Nance? Your sister?”

“She’s the only Nancy I know, so yeah..”

“But why? I just got home, I wanna be together Y/N”

“It’s just for 3 days Jon..you’ll be with the kids, they need you and they miss you” My voice is a faint whisper

“But I need and miss you too! I want you here! How am I supposed to enjoy my family if it’s not complete? I’m sure we can figure it out whatever it is that happened earlier” He grabbed my shoulders turning me to face him and cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up to look me in the eyes.

“Y/N, kitten, I know that I’ve said some pretty harsh things to you earlier. I’ve been stressed out. It’s all my fault, I’m so sorry cherry. Please forgive me baby” He pressed his forehead with mine

That was typical Jon, always pulling the guilt towards himself, he has a hard time understanding that he was not always the only cause of a disagreement.

“Jon, we both said some stupid things ok? This is not all on you, love” I released myself from him, if he continued this close I wouldn’t resist, and right now I need to think.

“Yes it is Y/N. Me and my stupid fucking mouth, not you. You’re perfect kitten”

I scoffed “Trust me, I am not”

“Yes you are! Look at who I am now because of you, I stopped doing drugs, I’m not a drinking mess anymore, I eagerly look forward coming come because I know that the three pieces of my heart are waiting for me, look at what I’ve achieved, what you gave me, how you gave up everything and everybody to be with me”

Oh yeah,that.. my ‘high society family’ was not happy at all when they met Jon, they said that we were a very dangerous combination of fire and gasoline, that we would never be happy. I had two options they said, either them or him. I hated my family and loved Jon so it was a simple math. I left my house and all of the luxury behind to live with him in his ridiculously small one bedroom old apartment. The only person that I still talked to was Nancy my older and just as rebel sister, who gave everybody the middle finger and left the not so humble abode of my family never speaking with them again. So it made sense that the two rebellious black sheeps would become their own family, mine was Nancy and I was hers.

“Jon I need some time to think, we need it ok? Please, we both need to digest what we’ve said to each other. It wasn’t just a simple ‘fuck off’ we’ve said some pretty bad stuff so let’s just process this ok?” I beg

“Are you gonna leave me forever? Please don’t tell me you’ll want divorce because of this...I won’t handle it kitten” His voice was strangled by tears

“Jon-” I was thankfully interrupted by Rosie’s and Atticus’ screams of joy on the hallway as they ran towards our bedroom

“Mommy, daddy the movie is about to start c’mon” Atticus says as he jumps from excitement. They have been wanting to watch Moana for a while now, but only when daddy got home so he could watch it too.

“We’re going buddy” Jon fastly said

“Actually” I begin “Only daddy will watch the movie with you” It crushed my heart to see the disappointment on their faces

“Why?” Rosie asks

“Because auntie Nancy called and mommy’s gonna need to go and help her”

“Is auntie Nana in trouble?” Now it was Atticus turn to ask

“No stinker, she just need momma’s help with something, it’s nothing bad I promise”

“Can you go to Nancy’s after the movie?” Jon hopefully asks, he knows that the longer I stay the less likely it will be for me to leave.

The kids gasped at their daddy’s amazingly smart idea.

“Please mommy, please!” The kids started to beg as they kneeled down to make their begging really serious.

Jon kneeled down too, by my side. I looked at him confused and he just said

“Yeah mommy, please stay” He placed his hands on my hips “Please kitten, don’t leave me” He whispered

And now I have 3 pairs of incredibly beautiful and pleading baby blue eyes staring at me waiting for my answer.

What am I supposed to do?...

To be continued (?)

What do you think? Should this story continue? Would you like to see what will Y/N do? What would you do? Please let me know your thoughts, they are so very important to me and help me with my writing 💕🥰

[yamithediaperdork]

Let’s Make A Star! (MHA)

Let's make a star!

To the surprise of no one, Mineta was spending his Friday night doing what he did well, just about every night in his room: Looking at porn online. the shameless pervert was proud of his status though even if he was finding increasingly weird porn to look at, and tonight he'd decided to look into a fetish to spice things up. 'Man does not exist on tentacle porn alone' He thought with a little giggle, going to his favorite my porn site. Hmm'ing and ha'ing for a second, he decided what the hell and typed in adult diaper and soon was browsing the kinky world of grown women and men acting like babies and crapping themselves, though it wasn't quite getting him the thrill he was looking for. Not ready to give up the fight yet (he prided himself on being able to get off to almost anything after all) he went into a chat room for the ABDL's and asked if anyone had any good video's or pictures to recommend, saying he was looking for a super red faced or embarrassed diaper boy or girl. the response's lit up and he was showered with links, though most of them he had seen already to his disappointment.   the last link however was one he'd have to pay to unlock, but since it was only 5 bucks and the title of it was 'super embarrassing diaper mess while cleaning the potty' Mineta figured it would be worth it. As the video started and he saw who the star was the pervert grinned ear to ear, this was WELL worth the five bucks!

Katsuki was in a bad mood Saturday morning. Not only had he had to go to class despite it being the weekend to do a stupid make up test for one he'd flunked, He'd been getting non stop text messages from grape head about wanting to meet up. 'Because THAT'S what I wanna do, hang out with a pervert.' Katsuki thought, just ignoring the texts, and having to turn his phone off while taking the test anyways. After handing the test in Katsuki was free to go and found the fucking perv waiting for him outside of the classroom. "You know, Ignoring people is rude." The little shit said, wagging a figure at Katsuki. "all the fucks I give about what you think are in my hand.. Oh look! there's nothing there!" Katsuki said and kept walking. Mineta apparently wasn't to be ignored, and dashed to catch up to him. "You know, you should be nicer to someone who could get you expelled." He huffed. THAT caught Katsuki's attention, and with it being just the two of them in the hell he turned around and looked at the pervert. "Really? and how are you going to get me expelled? By pissing me off so much I blow you up? I'd likely get a god damn medal." Katsuki pointed out with a smirk. "well as i understand it, Hero's aren't suppose to have pay to see porn out there, though yours is more interesting then most." Mineta said, a evil smile on his face. The smirk instantly dropped from Katsuki's face and his jaw dropped. "I-I don't know what your talking about." he stammered. "Really, so your NOT 'stinky little diaper boy for pay'?" Mineta asked, a mock look of surprise on his face. "That's odd, you must have a twin out there then, but hey, maybe I'm wrong, let's bring up a video an-" And the little shit was bringing up his phone and indeed was going to his saved video's folder. "W-wait!" Katsuki whimpered, his cheeks bright red. "Ok ok it's me, what the fuck do you want?" "Well what I want is a few things, but I think we should go back to your room and talk in semi private don't you?" Mineta asked, a smug look on his face. "..Yeah ok." Katsuki huffed, and lead the way.

Coming into Katsuki's dorm room Mineta was shocked at how pleasant it smelled in there when about 70 percent of the blond's video's had him taking a dump in his huggies. 'then again he would of been busted long ago if he hadn't of learned how to take care of it.' The pervert thought. Strolling over and taking a seat on Katsuki's bed, Mineta pointed at the floor for Katsuki to take a seat, and chuckled as he meekly did so. "So I think it's clear by now that I could destroy you with little to no effort on my part. the higher ups don't want anther pervert hero out there making the hero community look bad." Mineta started, enjoying the look of worry on Katsuki's face. "But before I make my list of demands, I'd like to know what exactly prompted you to start crapping yourself in huggies for pay." "I uh..I.." Katsuki was turning SUCH a cute shade of red and Mineta found himself loving his power over the much bigger and deadlier boy. "yes? Go on.." Mineta chuckled. "I needed to make some money fast for a bike I wanted, and my mom was refusing to help. then some pervert old guy said he'd buy the bike for me if I crawled around in a diaper and sucked on a pacifier for 2 hours. I figured I could always blow him up if he tried to cheat me or do anything weird but the deal went off. After I realized they had to be A LOT of people like him, and it was easy money..S-So Next time I got some money from mom I got a pack of diapers and well.. You know.." Katsuki trailed off. "Set up a pay to view porn channel where you crap your diapers and do walks of shame. And your saying nothing you do is really YOUR fetish, just doing it for the money?" Mineta asked. "Well um..I.." Katsuki whined big time and was poking two fingers together. it was so unlike him that Mineta was having to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. "I Might of semi kinda come to MAYBE like it a little...but it's mostly for the money. A lot of what I do is actually fan submitted requests and I only do the ones that come with a tribute attached to them." He finished up. "well I think if your gonna keep charging as much as you do, you're gonna need to step up your game and your camera work. I know it's tough for you to film yourself so I'll be helping you with that from now on." Mineta said, and seeing a argument starting to form on Katsuki's lips he stopped it in it's tracks."That's part of my demands to keep quiet so don't even think of fighting unless you wanna be famous around school. Second item on my list is that half of what you make though being a diaper filling perv goes right into my greedy little hand. I'm not helping you and keeping my mouth shut for free after all." Katsuki glared but then huffed and pouted, crossing his arms and glaring at the floor. "Third part of my list of demands is that you wear a diaper to class at least twice a week, we'll get you some thinner ones and you won't have to use it but I think it'll keep you from getting any big ideas. That's all, for now." Mineta finished up and gave Katsuki a look that dared the diapered for pay boy to just try and argue. "Your a fucking bastard you know that?" Katsuki growled. "Just for that, whenever we're in private from now on you'll call me daddy. go ahead little boy, keep mouthing off." Mineta said. "..Fine you win.." Katsuki huffed and slumped, knowing he was beaten. "I'm sorry, 'you win' what?" Mineta asked and leaned down and cupped Katsuki's chin, making the blond look him in the eyes. "..You win..Daddy." Katsuki whimpered. "Good boy! Now let's go and get you all padded for a new video." Mineta laughed and gave Katsuki a condescending head pat.

Katsuki was thankfully allowed to pick his own outfit and diaper himself as Mineta was busy going though the fan requests that Katsuki had been giving, using Katsuki's laptop and also copying his login information. "If I go to log in later and you've changed the password.." The purple haired bastard had said, trailing off but his threat clear. "I won't daddy." Katsuki promised. Katsuki went with one of his teddy bear print diapers, with a blue back round and then picked out a tank top that was slightly too short and showed a little bit of belly so the diaper wasn't covered at all, Blue back round and a big teddy bear on the front. 'I might as well look stylish if I'm gonna be blackmailed.' Katsuki reason, and then opened up a locked drawer in his desk. inside was a selection of 5 different pacifiers and of course each one went with a outfit/ and or diaper print he had. So naturally he had a blue paci that had a teddy on the mouth guard and had a string of darker blue cord so he could wear it around his neck. (he'd tried using paci clip's with ribbon but had almost gotten busted when he'd caught his nipple with one and shrieked out in pain.) Finishing up the outfit was to no ones shock a pair of blue socks with a smiling bear on the ankles. "heh, adorable. So how much have you actually sunk into this? because getting a outfit that cute couldn't of been cheap if you had to get it mailed in." Mineta asked. "The uh.. first half dozen or so shows were all about shocking up supplies." Katsuki admitted then added. "There was one outfit a fan sent me along with 300 bucks to do a private video but I got nervous and trashed it." "Tsk, naughty naughty! what was it?" Mineta asked. "...A fairy costume, with winks and everything and a really short tutu. I just.. I wore it to do the video and then got rid of it, lying and said my mess had leaked on it while changing. the customer got mad and hasn't talked to me since and actually blocked me." Katsuki said, wishing he had kept his mouth shut. Actually he was wishing a lot of things at the moment to be fair. "I See, well thats a shame they blocked you. we'll have to get you a replica at some point so you can do a free video to make it up to them. I assume it's too late to go and get it out of the trash." Mineta said with a disappointed look on his face. "Y-yeah, that was 2 month's ago." Katsuki squeaked. "Hmm, do you have the video saved somewhere? I'd like to see it." "N-No..I just sent the clip to him and then..like i said, got paranoid and deleted it from my computer. I doubt he even kept it." Katsuki whimpered. "heh, actually I bet he just went and uploaded it onto a free porn site to show everyone the naughty sissy baby..But I'll look for it later." "I-I don't think he'd of done that! It would be breaking a rule an-" Katsuki started, he'd never thought of that possibly before and now was going semi pale. "If it's on the net, I'll find it. but as I said that's a matter for latter. for now I've picked out one of the fan requests that's been sent four times already but you've turned it down each time." Mineta said with a evil grin. Katsuki's gut dropped and he whimpered, already knowing what request it would be.  the fan in question was offering a tribute of a extra 200 bucks if the clip got made, but what they wanted was one of Katsuki's limits. A stroll in the halls in one of his baby outfits during the day. "W-We can't you have t-" Katsuki started to whimper but Mineta just gave him a evil smile. "Relax, if we're nice and fast about it, there's no way anyone will catch us..they're all out having fun, visiting their folks or studying in their dorms. Trust me, I don't want you busted and outed, then i lose my hold over you and end up a scorch mark on a wall." Mineta said. Katsuki huffed but had to admit Mineta had a point and they started to plan out how they were gonna do it.

25 minutes and one diaper change later (Katsuki's nerves had gotten to him) and the pervert was out in the halls, his camera phone set and gave a gentle cry of all clear to the door, then started to record. Katsuki poked his head out of his room, and looked around, then slowly walked out holding a series of smallish pieces of white cardboard and waddled down the hall closer to the camera and with his paci in his mouth, held them up to the camera. 'Hi! I'm a big silly stinky diaper boy, and right now I'm at school.' Katsuki counted down from 20 in his head then switched to the next card. 'I've been getting requests to show off my diaper butt in the halls during the day. it's Saturday so almost no one is here but still..' And he grimaced and suckled loudly looking around as he counted down then swapped card. 'I REALLY hope no one see's me in the halls like this! I'm kind of a bully and this would RUIN me!' ruin had 3 underlies under it and Katsuki scrunched up his face and squirms, and when it was time... 'But I feel so excited and naughty out in the halls like this! Thanks Meaniesitter_345 for the request!' putting the cards under one arm, Katsuki used the other hand to rub the front of his diapers and then walked away from the camera, going down to almost the end of the hall and coming back. He was gonna go and do the same for the other side of the hallway when some loud voices were heard. "Mannn i can't believe you got us kicked out of the arcade Hanta!" grumbled the voice of Mezou. "hey, that little bugger was hogging the machines, Somebody had to do something!" came Hanta's reply. Katsuki's eyes went wide in fright and he shot a look at Mineta who nodded and pointed for Katsuki's door, both of them rushing and barley getting in and slamming the door before the other other boys could round the corner and see them. laying against the door in case they tried it and both the baby and the perv panting, they could hear the boys keep arguing, only pausing to ask if the other smelled baby powder. "nah, we have to be imaging it. I mean, who wears baby powder around here?" "I dunno, Izuku cries a lot soo.." Both boys laughed and kept going.

'Almost busted in the halls' was uploaded a hour later after some minor editing and with in the first 15 minutes it had been viewed 70 times. with the clip only being a dollar and shot much better then his others it was going like hot cakes and the comments were pouring in, Katsuki was more popular then ever. 'LOL bet baby crapped himself when he was almost caught!' 'Boooo! you should of stayed in the hallway and let them see you!' 'Was anyone else hoping his door was gonna be locked? LOL' 'OMG your so cute!' 'Hey, how do I request a clip? do I just PM or what?' It was that last one that Mineta answered first, telling people to send all and all requests to the inbox, Blondie baby had a new manager who would make sure as many of them could filled as possible, though tributes would help push certain ideas over others. Katsuki for his part sat on the floor, hugging his stuffie and rocking back and forth a bit, hoping that Mineta wouldn't notice the slight smell coming from that wasn't going away. when he'd almost been caught he'd started to mess himself but had clamped his bowels down, and had been told to wait till 'daddy' was finished with the big boy computer stuff before asking permission to use the potty. His tummy was gurgling and it was getting harder and harder to hold his back door bomb in and he whined and whimpered around his paci as he suckled it, then waved one arm trying to get Mineta's attention from where the perv sat up on the bed, using Katsuki's laptop. "-Sigh- what is it Baby butt?" Mineta asked, a slight tone of annoyance in his voice though mentally he was delighted. It was pretty clear that the blond diaper bitch had at least started to fudge his huggies, even if Katsuki shook his head no every time he was asked if he had. 'just like the fucking big baby your dressed up as.' Mineta mused. "I-I gotta go poo poo!" Katsuki whined, having taken his paci out and whimpered. "it's gonna be a BIG one! Please let me use the potty!" Dropping his teddy bear, Katsuki knelled forward, both hands pressed together. "..Allllright..but only because I don't wanna change a shitty diaper. off you go." He said, smirking and jerking a thumb to the bathroom. Katsuki nodded and smiled and relaxed a bit, and moved to crawl into the bathroom.Sadly as it would turn out, relaxing was the last thing he should of done. He barley moved when a loud gurgle from his tummy was heard and Katsuki gasped and whimpered. "N-Nooo!" he whined and grabbed at his tummy while going face down and ass up in front of the bathroom door, about to load his diapers. Never one to pass up a opening like this, Mineta grabbed the phone and started to record as Katsuki loaded the seat of his diapers, blorting out the back of the teddy bear diaper and making them vanish. 'heh, This is gonna be SUCH easy money." Mineta thought, then the smell hit him and he wrinkled his nose. 'Maybe not as easy as I thought...'

the end for now.

[real-talk-time2004]

I promised I would talk about Masking so here it is

Masking- “cover (the face) with a mask” or “conceal something from view”

The type of masking I’m talking about is not the literal definition, it’s more of a metaphor that is to be taken literally.

At first I was really confused about masking, and it is possible one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn about when researching autism, but the more I read the more I seemed to relate to people who were masking.

Masking in context of what I’m talking about is more of a figurative way of saying someone is hiding from something.

(Oh lord I’m really bad at explaining things)

Ok here’s an example cause these always help: imagine you realize you’re part of the lgbt+ community (anything works), and you realize this. You know that you are different from the majority of society. Now you really wanna come out, and you know that many people will be fine with you coming out, but some will not. Say you’re transgender and you’ve been bullied for liking things that society thinks are not meant to be liked by people of your gender, or you’re lesbian or gay and people make fun of you for calling people of your same gender ‘beautiful’ or ‘pretty cute’. To save yourself from this embarrassment you start to act like how people want you to act. You can see how people act and know that it is acceptable to society for someone to act that way, so you start copying it. You copy your parents, siblings, friends and the things that they do that are deemed socially acceptable. This saves you from getting bullied, but it is not who you are nor who you want to be. Soon you get so used to acting like how people want you to act that you forget you’re doing it, and now you’ve become a different person entirely. That is what masking is.

And I wanna talk about how much I hate it

I don’t hate it because of people who do it or why people do it. I hate it because of what it stands for and what it truly means.

With masking, especially at a very young age, it becomes normalized and most times the masker does not even know that they’re masking.

As a kid I was bullied for being weird, for talking too much, for not sitting still. So I changed it, and i basically changed myself. I wanted to fit in with societies standards so much because I did not want to be bullied or feel weird or feel like I was different.

And what sucks even more is that most autistics use masking as a form of protection. Meaning they mask in order to protect themselves from childhood trauma.

See why this is not okay?

I didn’t even know I was masking until recently, and even now I still do it because I’ve been doing it for so long it feel normal, and I know this is a bad thing.

Masking is the main reason why most autistics don’t get diagnosed until later in life, especially girls.

There is not enough information on autism in girls because many studies done are centered around autism in boys, so it was hard to gain information on masking in the first place. There just aren’t enough studies done on autism in girls and most of it goes unnoticed. Many girls with autism go undiagnosed for an entire lifetime and they never even knew because girls are a lot better at masking then boys are.

I wanna explain a bit more:

Autistics do not understand societal norms, it’s something that takes a while or just doesn’t click in our brains. Same thing with tone. We may say something that society deems as rude or inappropriate, but we don’t think we said something that was rude or inappropriate.

However we can see what people do and we see that it is socially acceptable, so we copy it. This is usually done at a very very young age, we know that what we are doing is weird in the eyes of the people we want to impress. We desperately want to fit in with society so we copy them, eventually we do this so much that we forget we’re somebody else. We make up intricate lies to make ourselves fit in. For instance I used to say that I was good at sports like baseball because in my mind being good at sports meant that you were a normal child and you weren’t different in any way.

I always knew I was different, but I had seen autism in a specific way at my school that I never knew it could come in different forms. Which is why I never knew I was masking.

It’s also really fucking exhausting

I’m not even joking. Masking is hard, and it’s easier for others. Imagine that everyday you have to change your entire personality and everything that you do to fit in with everybody. For me personally I don’t have just one mask; I act different around certain people and groups and I never even realized I was doing it.

For me, learning about masking changed my life. I related to the symptoms of autism but I had seen people with autism every day at my school and I wasn’t like them. It was then I learned about masking, and how autistics can come of as neurotypical. In a way I felt better about myself, but the more I thought about it the more I realized how awful it was.

For anyone else who masks; I’m not telling you to stop. In fact I know that many autistics can’t stop whether it be for safety or just because masking does help you fit in. I know, and I understand. I’ve been slowly letting down my mask a bit further each time around other people.

My table group really helps me with this, and they don’t even know why I’m doing this. I’m starting to show more of myself around my best friend who is also nd and she understands me (even though she still thinks I’m nt).

So for you people who are struggling with letting down your mask; find those people who you trust (this is easier on the internet). Don’t completely take it off if it makes you uncomfortable. Instead just slowing let down your mask over time with people you trust and who can understand you.

I know that not all autistics can mask, I know that masking is a privilege, and I especially know that not everyone can let down their mask in front of others. I see you, I feel you, I understand you.

No matter how much I talk about how masking has ruined my life; I still do it too, because it is a safety mechanism for myself.

I hope one day no one has to mask. I hope one day everyone can be free to be who they truly are without having to fit in with societies standards. There is so much more I want to say and so much more I want to do.

And I’ll do it, one step at a time.

Stay safe

-Kay

[enigma-im]

Like a Virgin

Rating: Mature Relationship: Incubus x Female!human Warning: betraying of trust, broken friendship, incubus are cum brains, comfort, fluff, no sex

Word Count: 7797

                             Can an Incubus and a virgin be friends?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tatiana, or Tina. I know it starts with a T. Either way she was crazy, even for my standards! I couldn’t bring myself to say no to her though, her energy was intoxicating," Silas rants. I pay attention for the most part but he caught me in the middle of something. He just kind of started talking. Honestly, I don’t mind his stories, they are funny or interesting most of the time. I secretly think I'm the only one he talks to about this cause I'm the only one who listens. Add comments here and there. Everyone else is too busy trying to get his attention just to get an excuse to look at him.

"Your appetite is going to get you into trouble if you find yourself struggling to say no," I pass him a sly grin. Out the corner of my eye, I see him rest his crossed arms on the table. I feel him staring at me, probably thinking of some stupid joke. I fiddle with my tablet as I finish my document.

"What about you, I can't be the only one having weird sexual adventures. Even someone as quiet as you must have some really kinky shit to tell," Silas rest his head against the table. Just in the corner of my vision. I ignore him for a second as I write my last sentence.

I look over at him," what's that?"

"What's the weirdest sexual encounter you have had," he repeats. I cock an eyebrow, eyeing him for a second.

I turn back to my tablet," I've never had sex." I don’t notice him recoil from me. I open up my email and send over the file to another coworker. Once I finish I turn off my tablet and give Silas my full attention. He looks shocked. His mouth is slightly open and his eyes wide.

"what," I ask.

"You never had sex," he tilts his head. His eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"Nope, never have," I shrug. It's not a big deal, I know if I really wanted to then I can find some stranger. Still, that has never been alluring. I would rather be in a committed relationship before I do anything like that.

"How old are you, aren't you like 24? How can anyone live that long and not at some point had sex," he asks.

"I just haven't, it isn't a big deal," I begin to get embarrassed. When I was a teenager I thought about sex often. As I got older it has lost its appeal. I never dated in college because I was busy with work or school. Then finding a job I didn’t really bother with dating. After 21 I just didn’t care anymore.

Silas doesn’t share my sentiment.

"Is it a religious thing? Are you waiting till marriage or..," he sits down next to me," like you are pretty, I can't imagine you haven't had offers. Then its got to be a personal choice. So spill it, what's up." I begin to fold into myself, his questions making me nervous.

"I just haven't. there haven’t been any situations where I've had the choice. Not that I've put myself into those situations either way. So let's just drop it," I cross my arms and turn away from him. He grabs my chair and turns me back to face him. His face is serious, I've never seen him serious before.

"Are you interested in it? Are you asexual," he keeps questioning. Wanting to get away from his scrutiny I get up, knocking his arm from the chair. I walk around the seat, keeping it between us. "its ok if you are, I'm just trying to wrap my head around this," he tries to clarify.

"I rather not talk about this, if you don’t mind. My break is over so I'm going to go back to my office now," I try to be calm. I'm not going to hold this against him. He is an incubus, so I understand his interest in the topic. It doesn’t mean I have to answer him.

He drops it," alright, sorry. Didn’t mean to pry. Have a nice day, Chloe." with that we part ways.

I don’t see him again till the next day. What a weird day that was too.

"Hey, Chloe," someone stops me in the hall.

"Hey," I look the man over. He is a tall lanky fellow, short black hair and glasses. I remember seeing him around but his name evades me. I think it starts with an R.

"So I heard you are into local bands. You mentioned visiting Ricardo's on Saturdays. I was thinking, my brother's band is playing this weekend and I was curious if you would like to come see him," he asks. The entire time he is talking I'm trying to think of his names. Robert, Richie, Rhett? It takes a second for me to realize he asked a question.

"Oh, this Saturday? I'm going to visit my mother, my cousins are coming in for the weekend so I wanted to stop by and say hi," I answer honestly. I'm curious about his brother's band though. It's nice of him to promote his sibling like this.

He drops his shoulders," right, maybe another weekend then?"

"Yea, just let me know when he plays again. I'll stop by and check him out," I smiled curtly," but I really got to go, see you around?"

"Yea, sure. Later, Chloe," he waves. He looks a little dejected but I can't find myself to care.

The day gets a little weirder when I'm visited by another coworker.

"Chloe, working hard as usual," I look over my desk to Derek. He is a short stout fellow with brown hair. Derek is a funny guy but I found his personality to be too overpowering.

"Of course, hard work promotes better values," I curtly smile. I believe that is the end of the conversation until he steps closer to my desk. He rests his elbows on it, leaning beside me.

"Working hard all the time, when do you ever take a break. Perhaps we can grab lunch later? Get out of the building. I know a nice little pizza joint down the way," he offers.

"No thanks, I'm lactose intolerant so pizza doesn’t agree with me. Also, pizza without cheese is an awful idea. I may not be able to eat it much anymore but I know cheese makes a pizza," I try to joke. I know Derek is being friendly like usual but I can't bring myself to tolerate him today.

"Then how about the Chinese place on by the bank, they ha-,"

"Derek, stop bothering Chloe and get your ass back here," someone calls from out the door. Derek jerks his head over, glaring at the woman down the hall.

He turns back to me with a grin," Guess I have to pester you for a date later, till next time." with that he gets up and leaves. I watch him go with a confused look.

"He was asking me out?"

The time till lunch is filled with men, and a few women, coming up to me. For the most part, I think they were all asking me out. Some stumbled over their words so I didn’t understand. The ones I do know for sure I politely decline. I don’t wanna date, especially not someone from work. Most of them take it nicely, a small few are rude. Like Jose.

"Why not," Jose glares," it will be fun."

"I'm just not in the market for a boyfriend right now," I try to inch around him so I can head to the cafeteria. He slams his palm into the wall beside me.

"Not in the market? Silas told me otherwise," he leans in with a smirk.

"Silas told you," I stare confused. Pushing myself into the wall to get away.

"Yea, he said you were interested. Mentioned you would be an easy thing too," he tries to lean in closer. I dart underneath his arm, not bothering with him anymore. "Hey, we aren't done," he calls down the hall. I stop and glare at him over my shoulder.

"You ever talk to me again, I'm calling HR," I sneer. He rolls his eyes but walks off.

That dick! Not Jose, but Silas. What he doing telling everyone I'm interested? Telling people I'm an easy lay or something.

I change my course from the lunchroom to Silas' office. I stomp up the step, clenching my tablet in a tight grip. I slam open the door and march inside. I find him sitting in his chair, bent over his desk writing. When the door bangs against the wall he looks up. He starts with a smile but drops it when he sees my glare.

I slam my hands on his desk," Don’t you ever butt in my love life again. If I find out you are telling people that I'm 'easy' again I will cut your damn balls off. Do you understand me?" he sits back in his chair a little worried. Perhaps a little scared. My words take a second to sink in for him. Once they do he sits up.

"I never told anyone you were 'easy'. I said you they should try asking you out. Who said you were easy," he furrows his brow.

I slam my hands on the desk again," You shouldn’t be telling anyone anything about my interest. I never asked for your help, I never wanted your help. I've been asked out all day and you know damn well I don’t want that kind of attention."

He stands," What do you mean you don’t want that attention? You need that kind of attention. It isn't healthy to sit alone all day every day in your apartment. I want you to be happy, and I think this will do that. Excuse me for trying to be a good friend." I glare up at him, he glares back.

"If this is your idea of being a good friend then I rather you weren't," I sneer.

"What are you saying," he crosses his arms.

"I don’t want to be your friend. Friends I want around are ones who respect my privacy, not someone who makes people treat me like a thanksgiving meal. If I don’t want a relationship that is my fucking choice, Silas. Don’t talk to me or talk to anyone else about me. We are done," I push away from his desk. Moving it a little in the process. Then before he can say a word I stomp out his office. Running the conversation through my head till I'm gritting my teeth.

Who does he think he is telling people to proposition me. Does everyone in the office know I'm a virgin now? Everyone is going to look at me like a challenge. See who can get into my pants first. Fucking pigs. Silas the piece of shit.

The entire day is ruined until I get home. I put on some PJs and watch my favorite show. I don’t need Silas, the asshole. If I wanted help I would have asked him.

The rest of the week I avoid Silas. Which is harder than I thought. He seems to be everywhere I go. I head to the copying room, he is in there. I walk down for lunch, he is there. I go to a coworkers desk and he is talking with them. I can't tell if he is doing it on purpose or it’s a coincidence. Hardly matters, ill just sit in my office like a hermit.

Friday, just before quitting time I get a visitor. There is a knock on my door. I look up and my polite smile drops.

I look back down at my work," get out."

"I was going to ask if you are done throwing your tantrum but I see you aren't," Silas says walking in the room. I try my hardest not to look up. If I have to act like a child for him to leave then I will. I hear a chair squeak against the tile floor. I accidentally glanced up at him. He is sitting with his arms folded over his broad chest. He is staring straight at me, waiting for me to answer. I won't.

"Come on, do you want me to apologize? I don’t know what I did wrong but ill say sorry anyway. I'll be the bigger person here, I'm sorry Chloe. Is that better," he asks. I barely notice my grip tightening on the pen till my paper rips. The pen digging too hard into the page.

"You honestly don’t know what you did wrong," I grit my teeth," you selfish dick head." I glare up at him. He doesn’t seem phased. Knowing him he probably never been in a fight with a woman. Use to them falling at his feet because of his sexual prowess. Ain't going to work here.

"I tried to do something nice for you and you ignore me like a child. So excuse me for being a little confused," he snaps.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You have everyone in the office looking at me like I'm some kind of challenge. I get asked every day by people to go out with them to bars. Knowing they are only hoping to get in my pants. Trying to get me wasted enough to sleep with them so they can come here and brag they got me first. I never asked for your help. If I wanted to get laid I would have done it by now," I cross my arms. Glaring over at him, daring him to downplay my feelings on this.

"If you could have gotten laid then why haven't you done it. I've been trying to wrap my brain around this all week. You are an attractive young woman and you have never gone out to get someone. I know you are interested in it, you listen to my stories with such open wonder. I thought for the longest time you have, you hold your own in a conversation about it so well. Why are you a virgin," he asks. I don’t need to answer him. I don’t have to justify my choices. Yet, I feel like I do.

"Because I never found the one. I don’t trust anyone enough to not hurt me after. Most of the guys I might have had sex with I knew they would either leave before I woke the next day or brag about it to friends. I was always the pretty one, nothing more. Hell I know I got my job because I was attractive. I don’t want a one night stand or a simple night of pleasure. I want a relationship, I want to trust them not to leave me once they had their fill. I'm not just a body to be used, I'm a person," I finally answer. It's true, I haven't trusted anyone. Everyone makes sex into a simple thing. Just shared pleasure that doesn’t have to mean anything. But to me it does, I want the connection. To please someone while they want to please me.

He sits there for a second. Eyeing me as he thinks.

"What makes you think that those people aren't in it for a serious thing? Who has made you believe that people are just there to use you," he asks calmer.

"Because you talk about doing that every day," I scowl," answer me honestly. Have you ever stayed the night at one of your partner's home? Made them breakfast the next morning as thanks for the night before." he tries to glare at me but I know the truth. I may not trust people to fuck me but he doesn’t trust people to want him after. I've known Silas for almost a year and this is a fact I gathered early on. No one wants a relationship with an Incubus. They are known for being unfaithful so why risk it?

"No," he drops his head, " I'm sorry Chloe." this is more sincere. I wasn’t ready for that. I know our relationship isn't much. We are friends because of the circumstances. If we didn’t work together then we would have never even spoken to each other. I never expected him to actually apologize.

"thank you," I mumble. He lifts his head and looks at me through his lashes.

"Are we still friends," he asks. It comes out soft, to my surprise. I think about it. I don’t think I can trust him after this. The little faith I had in him was gone once he told everyone I needed to be fucked.

"No," I answer. I find I can't look him in the eye when I said it. I do notice his shoulders dropping.

Without another word he stands, nods, then leaves. After that, I don’t see him as much.

The weekend comes and goes. I get to see my cousins and forget about the situation for a while. The week goes smoothly. I don’t see Silas at all that week. Come to hear it, most people haven't seen him. He comes into work and doesn’t socialize like he used to. I want to feel responsible for that but I know it isn't me. We weren't that close. He is a social butterfly, talks to everyone. I was just the only one who didn’t actively flirt with him. I listened to what he had to say, I was polite.

After about two weeks I forget about him. I don’t worry about his whereabouts or comings and goings. Some coworkers still try to get me to date them but more are asking me about Silas. I don’t care.

Its Saturday and I'm sitting on my couch. I flip through Netflix for anything new to watch. Shoving handfuls of chips into my mouth. The oil getting on the remote as well as my pants.

There is a knock at the door. I jump at the harsh noise of a fist against wood. It echoes through my apartment. I stare at the entrance, waiting for the sound of footsteps down the brick stairs. Instead, I get another knock and a voice.

"Chloe, I need to talk to you," the voice is muffled. It’s a man for sure, but unless I get up and check I don’t know who it is. I place my bowl on the table then walk over to the door. Knowing the dangers of opening up to anyone I grab the bat near my fridge. I step over and peak through the eyehole. I see a fisheye view of Silas. His hair is sticking to his forehead and his clothes look wet.

"Chloe, please," he drops his head to the door. Part of me wants to open it just so he can trip forward. But another part wants him to leave now.

"Go away," I yell. Still looking through the hole I see his head pop up. He looks directly at the peephole now.

"Chloe, please. Just five minutes, that’s all I ask," he holds out his hands. I can see he is dripping wet.

"Why should I," I yell back.

"Because I want to apologize. I've had time to think and I really need to talk with you," he is practically begging. I have never heard him beg. Even in his stories, he is never the one to be a sub, to beg for anything. He is probably used to people throwing themselves at his feet just to get a taste of him.

I try to fight my goodwill. I shouldn’t let him in. but it's raining out and he is standing here soaking wet just to talk to me. Yet I don’t owe him anything, just let him get sick. Still, I'm curious.

With a sigh, I grabbed the doorknob. Pulling it open with a reluctant grimace. This better not be a mistake.

I look up at a soaked Silas. His white button-up is taunt to his torso. I can see his undershirt easily now. His black slacks are dripping over his shoes and onto the doormat. He looks tired. Black rings under his eyes along with his cheeks being hollow. He doesn’t look healthy.

"You look like shit," I deadpan. I didn’t want to be the first one to talk but I couldn’t resist the jab.

He chuckles," yea, I've noticed. Can I come in?" I look him over again. He isn't coming in here dripping all over the place.

"You are soaked, ill grab a towel," I turn and walk to the linen closet. I grab a towel and walk back over. I nearly trip when I see him taking off his shirt. Kicking his shoes off beside the mat. He balls up his shirt then reaches back and grabs the undershirt. I get to see his flat stomach, then his toned pecs. Silas isn't buff by any standards. He has definition but not great mass. He doesn’t have abs but his stomach is flat and toned. His chest is broad but it isn't strong. Only his arms hold any girth. His biceps and shoulders being the only things with muscle.

He looks up at me," Sorry. Thought it would be easier if I had less to dry." I come back to myself.

"It's alright, here," I walk over and hand him the towel. Not looking at him anymore. I turn away from him and go to my couch. Sitting on the farthest end. I watch as he dries himself before stepping in. he wraps the towel around his waist then removes his pants from underneath. I look away as he does.

"You can look, I'm not showing anything," he laughs. I still don’t look. It's hard to be mad at someone when they are half-naked in your living room. Cant give a proper glare if I'm blushing. He is the first man I've seen to this level of disrobe.

"What do you want," I decide to get to the point. I don’t want him here longer than he has to be. After a second of him not answering I look over at him. He is staring down at the ground, his hair blocking his eyes.

"I miss you," he starts. I look at him confused and skeptical. I don’t trust him. He looks over when I don’t answer, " I wanted to respect your choice of not wanting to see me but…" he sighs.

He takes a moment to collect himself," I've been a mess without you. I couldn’t understand why either. I know I liked talking with you but this feeling is a lot. I think about you constantly, I catch myself walking to your office often. It hasn’t been just my thoughts you are ruining too." he looks up at me, in the light, his face looks terrible. The low light makes his face look almost skeletal. I can see the shadow of his ribs under his pecs. Has he not been eating? Then it clicks, he hasn’t been feeding.

"What did you do," I find myself asking," are you feeding?"

He shakes his head," I haven't since we stopped talking. I can't bring myself to go out. For the first week, I was confused. I forced myself out the second week but I did something I haven't done ever. I said no to someone. I didn’t want to fuck them, the idea of it was sickening at the time. I had to ask my brother what was happening. Maybe I was sick and needed some help. My brother told me differently." I watch him, worried about him but not wanting to show it. I've known the guy for a year, we got a little close. The time I've known him I never heard him having this issue. He has never not fed. He is a man whore to the max! this is so out of character.

"What did he tell you," I ask. He opens his mouth to answer but shuts it. He tries again but nothing comes out. He drops his head to his shoulder, wincing. Running his fingers through his wet hair and adjusting his towel too much.

"Why is it so hard to tell you," he groans," I just want you to know that I'm honestly sorry about telling everyone. At the time I thought I was helping but it isn't till later that I realized you never wanted my help. Also that it isn't the help I wanted to give you. I want you to be happy, truly I do. In my dumb cum brain way of thinking I thought that my way of helping would be what makes you happy. I'm sorry. I still want to help but now it's more complicated. If not selfish now."

I sit up," what do you mean?" I'm worried. If his way of helping before was to make me a living target for people at work, I hate to see what it is now.

"I have to tell you something, and I need you to work with me on this. I don’t know if I can say it if I'm being honest," he runs his fingers through his hair again," you know I care about you. We have been friends for a while. I cherish our conversation, you were the only one who listened. Not even the sex stuff but everything. Like when I told you about my insecurities, I knew I could trust you with them. I know you are someone I can trust, and I want you to trust me." he walks over to the couch. Flopping on the other end. He leans over and looks me in the eyes. The action sends a tingle down my spine. His eyes are searching, I can feel him searching.

"What are you doing," I lean hard against the arm of the couch. He scoots a little closer. Still looking at me, in me. It feels invasive. After a second he smiles.

"You know one of my powers is emotions. On the account I feed off them it should seem self-explanatory. Either way, I can see a person's feelings. Strong ones radiate from someone like a beacon, do you know what I see when I look at you," he cocks a brow. I shake my head," I see loneliness. When we first met it was like being slapped. You were pouring with it. So I was drawn to you, wanting to fix that in some way. My intention was pure, I wanted to see you smile. Make your day less alone. When you stormed into my office I could feel the rage boiling off you. It was suffocating. But now, now I can see fear, worry, and affection. Fear for what I'm saying, worry for me, and affection for me. So, Chloe, I will tell you what I came here for." he scoots close enough for our legs to touch. He grabs my hands away from my chest, resting them in my lap. Then he just stares at me, a smile gracing his lips.

"What," I mumble, "What did you come to say?"

"That I'm in love with you," he finally answers. His words are like a jolt down my spine. It's of both joy and rage. I rip my hands from his hold. He frowns.

"Fuck you," I hop over the arm of the couch. Putting as much distance between us as I can. He watches me as I pace the room. He looks sad but I couldn’t give a damn at the moment.

"You don’t get to fucking say that," I snap at him," you don’t get to be an asshole then decide you did it out of affection. That isn't how this works, Silas." he jumps from the couch. Walking over to me but I hold my arm out to stop him.

"Please, Chloe," he tries to talk.

"No, don’t 'please Chloe' me. This isn't fair, this isn't ok! You don’t get to ruin my work-life then march in here two weeks later saying you love me. You lying piece of shit," I point at him. As he hears my last words he sneers. Grabbing my hand he pulls me close. I fight in his hold, not giving him the satisfaction.

"Chloe," he shouts, "Stop." he wraps his arms around me, pinning my arms to my sides. We glare at each other, "I may have been less than savory but I will never lie about my feelings to you. You can kick me, punch me, spit on me, but know that I tell the truth. I care about you, I want you, I love you. Do you understand me?"

"I don’t believe you," I squint up at him. I fight in his hold again, he lets me go with a sigh. I back up far enough away that I feel he cant grab me. He still looks dejected. His fist clenching at his sides for a second before he wipes them on the towel.

"Chloe," he looks up between his lashes, " after I last saw you I was sad. I missed our conversations. I talk to everyone at work but you are the one I looked forward to seeing. I always knew I had feelings for you. I never pushed anything cause I didn’t want to lose you because of who I am. See, no one wants to be friends with an incubus, think we are a bunch of silver-tongued sluts. My last close friend stopped talking to me when he got a girlfriend. He thought I would steal his girl away, how ridiculous.

"But after that day I starved. I couldn’t bring myself to feed off anyone. The idea of touching someone was disgusting. I thought I was sick. Not once did I think it could be any other reason. So I called my brother after the first week. I was- I am- in pain. I'm starving like you wouldn’t understand. When I called him and told him he asked if I was in love with anyone. I laughed at him, of course not. Then he asked again, then before I could actually think on it your name popped up. Suddenly it all made sense. My brother said that I'm bonded to you now. I didn’t know what that meant, sounded a little cliché. It seems that I have made a connection with you, I cannot bring myself to feed on anyone else. I won't even if I had a choice because all I want is you. All I need is you. All I can think about is you." I try to glare at him. I really try to be mad but I look at his body. He looks so weak, so malnourished that it hurts me.

"bonded," I ask," what does that mean for me?" I still don’t trust his words. I know how convincing he can be. Yet I know there is truth there. He would never starve himself for anyone.

He takes a step closer but stops when I take one back," nothing. Not unless we… it means nothing to you."

"Not unless we what," I ask. He looks at me, glancing between my eyes as he thinks. He doesn’t answer me, instead, he turns to the couch and sits. His leg spread and his hands on his face. He sighs. I take a step closer," Silas." he sighs again. Dropping his hands to his lap he looks me over.

"Can you do that again," he mumbles.

"Do what," I ask wearily. He runs his hands over his thighs.

"Can you say my name, its intoxicating to hear my name come from your lips," he grips the towel.

I fold my arms," just answer the question." he rolls his eyes before dropping his head back to the couch.

"It doesn’t matter, just give me a second and ill leave," he grumbles.

"No, I let you inside so you can answer my question," I snap. He lifts his head a bit to look at me. Giving me a once over before dropping against the couch again.

"I will answer if you answer one question of mine," he offers.

"No, I don’t owe you anything," I sneer.

"Humor me," he tilts his head," Please."

I glare at him for a second but give in," fine."

Silas watches me for a moment," Do you like me? Before all this. Before I fucked up royally. Did you even for a second think of me as an option?"

I ponder lying for a second. Of course, I've thought of him. He is literally sex personified. Even besides that he was funny, I liked talking with him. I knew there wouldn’t be a chance, he was too interested in partying and sleeping around. It wasn’t my taste. I rather not date a man whore. But he made a good friend, I got along with him well enough.

"For a second. But I had no interest in dating someone who has a body count in the triple digits," I jab. He doesn’t acknowledge that part. He looks hopeful for a moment.

"Was it because I was an incubus or because I was me," he sits up.

"Nope, I answered your one question, now answer mine," I chide.

He ignores me," Did you like me or what I could do? When you had that thought did you think because of the pleasure I could give you or because you enjoyed me?"

I balance on my other foot, looking away from him," Not unless what, Silas?"

He stands," Chloe, did you like me. Answer the question." I try to speak but he talks over me," Chloe, how did you want me?" I try again but he interrupts," Chloe!"

"Fine, I liked you! You were funny and silly. You liked stupid memes and hate tomatoes in your salad even though you always buy them with tomatoes. You stop talking anytime you saw a cute dog, it was adorable, and you actually listen to teen pop music. I couldn’t have cared less that you are an incubus, that didn’t matter. I liked you and all your silly quirks," I snap. He stares at me shocked. I turn away, I cant look at him.

"Chloe," he whispers. He sounds closer. I still don’t look. "Chloe," he mumbles near my ear. I feel his hand grab my arm. Unfolding them and bringing them around his waist. I let him, not having the fight anymore. I hold him lazily while he wraps his arms around my back. Pressing my head to his chest.

"You hurt me," I mumble against him," I trusted you not to tell everyone. It wasn’t really a secret but I didn’t want everyone only talking to me because of that."

He pets my back," I know. I'm sorry. I will do anything to make it up to you. It was a terrible thing to do and I will do whatever I can for you to trust me again. All I ask is you give me a chance." I can't answer but I nod against him. I feel his chest deflate as he sighs in relief. Holding me just a little tighter, kissing my hair.

We stand there in silence for a moment. I hear his heartbeat slowly against my ear. It sounds weak. I can feel his spine along my fingers. He really is starving.

"Silas," he sighs again," you need to eat." he nods against my head.

"I can't," he whimpers," the thought of eating from anyone but you make me sick." I lean back in his hold, looking at his gaunt face.

"Is there another way for you to feed," I ask," I know you can get like snacks from other emotions."

He presses my head back against his chest," Don’t worry about me, alright. Just let me hold you and that will be enough." I don’t push it.

"Then, can you tell me about being bonded?"

He stops breathing, "Do I have to?"

"Yes," I answer. He huffs.

"If we ever make love then I cannot feed from anyone else. You wouldn’t grow weak from me, and you could read me like I read others. It’s a very deep thing, it cant be broken after that," he finally explains. I gasp into his chest.

"Read you," I ask. I run my fingers over his spine. I can feel the hairs rise and his body shiver.

"Right now you are sad, and emotionally drained. I can read that from you," he explains," you would be able to do that with me." I nod. There isn't much I can say to that. He is right, I'm so drained. I want to be mad at him but seeing him as this hurts. Seeing him so weak and starving. I don’t want to believe he cant feed from others. That the idea of being with anyone else makes him sick but the evidence is there. I'm tired of thinking, I know this feels right.

I lean back and look up at him. He stares right back. I reach up and grab his jaw with one hand. Pulling him down to me. He doesn’t resist, probably too scared to. I stop him when our noses touch. His eyes are beginning to close and his lips are slightly parted.

"You will never do what you did again, do you understand me," he nods," if you hurt me even a little we are done. I never want to see you again or hear from you. Is that clear?" he nods again. I guess that finishes it. I lean in and take his lips for mine. When we meet it feels like fire. Like my body slowly began to engulf in flames. Starting at my lips then working over my body. Silas groans into my mouth, pulling me closer. My legs sit between his, his knee hitting my thigh. His crotch sits flush against my stomach. I can feel his cock from under the towel. I wouldn’t say he is hard but he is getting there.

I reach up and cup both sides of his face. Pulling him just a bit closer as he sucks on my bottom lip. Nibbling and licking as his hands pet along my back. He is a great kisser, I find myself thinking. I meet his tongue with my own, I feel his chest rumble against mine. I lure his tongue into my mouth where I suck on it. Feeling a familiar tingle in my stomach as I do.

Without warning, he pulls from me. Spit hanging between us that he catches with his tongue. He stands straighter, still petting my back. His eyes are black like I've never seen before. His mouth is parted showing off his teeth, his fangs.

"Chloe, you are more potent than anyone I have ever tasted," he growls as he drops his head to my neck," But I cannot bring myself to take from you anymore right now. I still need to earn your trust." he kisses my neck with a few lazy pecks before licking me. He growls, his teeth pressing against my throat. I don’t notice my heavy breathing, but I do notice his.

"Silas," I sigh. I'm not sure what I was going to say but knew I should talk. He groans, bucking his hips against me after he hears his name.

"Do it again," he licks my neck.

"Silas," I peck his cheek. He bites my neck, it feels like electricity coming from his teeth.

"You are too divine," he whispers against my skin. He quickly leans back, tilting his head to his shoulders. He looks a little dazed, his cheeks are less taunt but he still has bags under his eyes. Licking his lips he gropes my hips. "I'm sorry love, I seem to be a bit drunk off you already," he laughs," I may need to sit down." he lets go of me and nearly falls as he turns to the couch. I grab his arm and help him to the seat.

He falls against the loveseat, making it hit against the wall. His head drops against the cushion, his hands spread wide on the sofa. Silas lazily drops his head to the side, looking up at me. He pats the seat next to him.

"We aren't doing anything else but please sit. I need to touch you," he slurs. I can't help but chuckle at his drunk state. I take the seat beside him. He quickly grabs me and pulls me close. Our sides flush, he rests his hand on my thigh.

"Little drunk? Does this happen often," I ask with a smirk.

He eyes me with a weak grin," not at all. Not since I was young. I have built a tolerance but yours is very strong. Like the hardest of liquors but I rather compare you to a glass of fine wine." I find myself rolling my eyes at him. The flirt.

We sit in silence for a while. Just enjoying each other's company for the time being. I get a moment to think about him, about what he said. It's strange to figure that he of all people could be in love. Let alone in love with me. I try to doubt it but I can't bring myself to. He seemed so distraught when I called him a liar. Like I hit him or something. It's hard to think he could ever be interested in me, actually enjoy our conversations. He talked with everyone at work, the social butterfly compared to me. He was just a friendly guy, it kind of came with the territory.

"I should be getting out of your hair now," he mumbles. I look up and see he is falling asleep. His head tilted back and eyes closed. He doesn’t make an attempt to move just yet.

"Sleep on the couch, you can leave in the morning," I sit up. I stretch my arms above me, groaning with the exertion. I jump when his fingers glide along my side. He chuckles. I glance over and his eyes are just barely open, a soft grin on his face. He drops the grin and pets along my hip.

"I can't believe I never saw it before this," he stares," it was always there."

"What was always there," I ask as I sit back on the sofa. He adjusts his hand so it's wrapped around my middle. He leans on his side so we are face to face.

"You are so beautiful. Funny, charming, smart, kind, and best of all, you like me," he grins. I find myself grinning along with him." but it has always been there. I've liked you for a while but I knew you wouldn’t go out with someone like me. Hell, I couldn’t promise you that id actually stick around too long. But recently, even before my dumb move, I think I've always loved you. It's easy to see it now. Looking at you makes my heart feel at home. I can say for certain that I will never leave you. Unless you tell me, ill be right by your side." I look at his eyes for lies. Any indicator that he wasn’t being honest. I found nothing, just genuine care. This is what I've wanted for a while. Just open tenderness with another person. I think I can forgive him for being an idiot.

"kiss me," I look down at his lips.

He leans back a little," don’t be asking for things you don’t understand now. I'm just coming down from being drunk if we kiss I can't stop this time."

"Good, I don’t want you to," I smile up at him.

He sits up," no, I got to take you out on a date. Actually, try to woo you. I owe you that much, if not more." I crawl over and straddle his lap. He instinctually reaches up to hold me but thinks better of it at the last second. His hand hovering over my thighs. I run my hand up to his bare chest, feeling his warmth. I look up at his conflicted face. He looks down at me but then looks away.

"Take you out to a nice restaurant, shower you with compliments and bring you flowers. Then-oh," he groans as I kiss his chest. I'm not really sure what I'm doing, having never gotten this far before. But touching him feels right. I brush my arms over his sides, noticing his ribs aren't as prominent. I kiss down his sternum then over to his nipple. I lick over it, smiling when he gasps. Before I could continue he grabs my hair and pulls me back. His eyes are black again and he looks dazed.

"Dinner, Movie, Flowers, gifts. I will do those things you understand," he growls. I nod," Good." in a second his lips are on mine. His grip on my hair is used to tilt my head. Diving his tongue into my mouth quickly. Licking along my teeth and tongue. I feel him under his towel, poking between my legs. I want to grind on him but I think better of it.

Just as quick as he kissed me he pulls away. Hissing with his eyes clenched.

"Chloe, I'm not that strong. I've never had to use control before. I'm certain I will not be having sex with you tonight, I cant. Even if you have forgiven me I still owe you something better for your first time," he opens his black eyes," I will treat you to a lovely night out. Then I'm going to take you to my place where I will worship you. But till then I beg you to have pity on my control." I'm a bit shocked at what he said. He will take me to his place? From all the stories he has told I've never once heard him taking someone back to his place. It's almost a rule for him to not take anyone to his home.

"To your place," I asked still shocked.

He grins," of course. Be hard to leave the next morning if I'm at my house," he tries to joke.

"You have never taken someone to your house," I clarify.

"Well you aren't just anyone, are you," he cocks a brow," you are way more important than anyone before." I reach forward and kiss him again. He startles for a second before getting into it. I pull back after a short moment.

"Dinner next weekend," I ask.

"I'll pick you up around seven," he grins.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scarping the bottom of the barrel for past stories because I am in a rut right now in writing. I have this cute orc story but fuck, I cant write! so here is a work in progress I edited so I don’t have to write an actual ending.

Also this character is totally me, like I was not subtle at all. I reread this like a month after I wrote it and I'm like ‘oh this is me, that's rude’.

also, also. If you aren’t interested in sex, there is nothing wrong with you. sometimes you don’t find it appealing and that’s ok, don't let anyone make you feel bad for that.

Check out my Archive| Masterlist| Main Blog

[groggy-mittens]

G’day wonderful person

(excuse my grammar, English is not my native language owo)

I thought it would be fun and perhaps even helpful to post my own process on how i make a page!

I start with a messy draft on what i want to show in each panel, i ignore placing of speech bubbles for now. Its more to get myself on the right track.

Next I want to create a more clear base line on the positions, angles and facial expressions. sometimes it matches with the draft, often then not i realize i should shift a bit to fit what i want to show. I place a few speech bubbles here and there to help visualize the page more.

I LOVE line art. So when i start with that it takes a long while before its done. I play around with shadow drops (accurate or not, as long as it looks nice), thick to thin lines, and just all around detailed as much as the canvas allows me to be.

I have a sheet saved with all the textures! some are from online sources, some are my own. Im not good with making them so complex textures i leave up to the experts! I throw them in one by one, cut em out and move on. Also, please remember that people of color have lighter palms/feet! there are a lot of tutorials online who go into it a lot better then my white ass can ever do. For the comic i add brightness to the areas.

Speech bubbles come when ive placed all of the dialogue and i know what size the bubble needs to be. I kinda look around what would be the best place for them, as you hide whats under the bubble and cut away parts of your art. In this phase I go around time and time again to check the details, did i forget gordons glasses again, has benrey the shadowdrop, did i make typo’s etc.

Then post and hope people will like it haha. Sometimes i still spot like, a typo bc my dyslectic ass likes to fuck itself, i panic, breathe and fix it in like 2 sec and replace it with the correct page.

I am in no means an expert (i can already see faults in my word the moment i post them) and to be honest ive never made a comic this large. But i wanna share a few tips.

Never stick to your first draft, dont dedicate yourself to it, allow change if you see better options (as you can see happening in this post).

This is a common mistake, place your text in the middle and try to even out the corners of the text bubble. Like, the distance of the right corner from text to bubble be the same as those of the other 3 corners!

Try to avoid boxes. You can use them and please do, but get a bit more playful, draw a box in a different angle or dont use one at all.

Push yourself to poses that you are not used to draw and/or comfortable with. Tracing is okay! trace a pose, memorize it and draw it by yourself. Dont copy it of course, its more to help you understand whats happening, for your brain to remember how the pose works. It will look wack first time, so please do not get discouraged! keep on going!

I hope this might help some folks who, just like me, are new to this! thx for reading, sorry its so long pff

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

Ch. 6

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunately have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: None really, some angst maybe? Language is a given..

Word Count: 2969

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Jensen POV:

Jensen absent-mindedly stepped out of the shower, his mind was on what happened between y/n and himself only about 15 minutes ago. 

Closing his eyes he could still feel his lips on hers... 

Part of him is screaming at him, wondering what the hell he was doing... He’d just left Danneel yesterday... 

Literally... 

Another part of him though, another part says he deserves this, that's there's nothing wrong with what he feels when he’s with her... 

He never felt this way with Dannel... 

A pounding on the door jerks him from his thoughts... 

Must be Jared... 

Jensen threw on his pans and walked to the door, opening it without really giving a shit who was standing on the other side..

"So I see you had company last night." Jared said, stopping Jensen in his tracks, midway of pulling his shirt over his head.. 

"How did you know that?" He asked, whipping his head around to give Jared the most intimidating stare he could muster.

He didn’t know how he possibly knew someone was here with him.. Y/n left almost an hour ago…

 "I saw Y/n sneaking out of your room this morning." Jared said, crossing his arms over his chest,  and staring at Jensen right back.  Leaned up against the door frame. 

"She was 'sneaking' out of my room. Nothing happened alright!" Jensen said, quickly becoming irritated.. 

"Jensen, what are you doing man? You were just at the bar with me last night crying about Danneel, and now you got a girl in your hotel room? Man this is not a good way to move on." Jared looked concerned, but Jensen was really getting tired of people telling him what to do.. 

From Danneel telling him that his failed marriage was his fault... 

Jared telling him how he’s handling his personal life is wrong... 

Fans jumping down his throat on social media when he hasn't even done anything wrong…

He was almost at his limit, and he hadn’t even got to the Gold Panel yet..

"Look my marriage was over with Danneel a long damn time ago! About three in the morning I realized something, I deserve better than what that bitch has done to me for the last 10 years! Wanna know how long it's been sense I've had sex Jared?! Do you?! It was the night the twins were conceived! She was either fucking someone else, or never there while I suffered! Not her me!" 

Jensen stopped himself, and sat heavily down on the bed, he was yelling at Jared, he didn’t know why the fuck he was, but here he was a craying, yelling mess, and Jared God bless him, just took it, patiently waiting until Jensen had gotten it all out of his system. 

Until I let out that last little revelation anyway, that one seemed to throw him...

"Damn man, I'm sorry, I didn't know things were that bad." Jared said, looking a little softer than at Jensen than he had five minutes ago. Taking a seat on the bed next to Jensen, but Jensen just stood up and walked over to the little couch where his bag was laying open, looking for his watch.

He didn’t want someone to feel sorry for him or pity him, he just wanted people to let him move on..

"Last night I went to talk to y/n. To apologize for running off the stage the way I did. We went down to get coffee. She touched my hand, and it was like electricity hit me. My heart started racing, I got nervous. I haven't felt like that in years.” Shaking his head he turned around to face Jared who was still watching him closely sitting at the foot of the hotel bed. 

“You know what she did man? Cause I was a mess last night when I went to talk to her. She came back to my room, and layed next to me all night so I didn't have to be alone, and I could get some sleep.. Never tried to have sex with me. Never said anything. Was just there.”

“When we got up this morning I asked her if she wanted to get to know each other. See where this goes. I feel something for her man. Something I haven't ever felt. I deserve this, and I don't care who likes it, or doesn’t agree with it."

The room was silent as Jared and Jensen stared at each other. He needs Jared to back him up. He was swinging blind here. He needed my best friend. He needed his brother…

Jared looked at him closely, he looked like he was a mess still, he looked tired, dark circles around his eyes showed that what little sleep he’d gotten with Y/n last night really hadn’t been enough, he was still reeling, and Jared knew that, but he was also a grown man, and he knew that there was nothing he could say that was going to change his mind, so he decided he’d just be here for him when he needed him, because that’s what Jensen had always done for him.

"Okay, just go slow man don't rush it. You're still working through a lot of emotions."

"I need this Jared. I need her."

........................

Your POV:

"Ahh!!! I can't believe it!!!!" Y/f/ln sequels as you walk down the hall toward the room that's been set up for the panel. 

"Shh!! Keep your voice down!!" You scold as a group of 'Deans and Sams' walk by the two of you. Looking around nervously to make sure no one had heard her little outburst.

"Hey, he said don't be ashamed of him." She said with narrow eyes at you. 

"I'm not ashamed!!! I just don't want to be jumped by some crazy jealous superfan." You tell her as the two of you take your sets center stage third row. 

You were glad you were close to the stage. Jensen was really nervous about this panel. It was a solo panel, and the first one since news broke of his divorce yesterday.

Jared was supposed to be doing this panel with him, but things got messed up and Jared ended up having to make up ops while Jensen did the panel alone.

 He really wanted you to be here so you were glad he would be able to see you from the stage.

"Okay you got a point." She said, looking around at some of the people filtering in to find their seats. "Do you think the two of you are officially a thing now?" 

"No." You said flatly. "We haven't labeled anything. He just made it very clear this morning though it is his long run goal though. That's why we're getting to know each. He wants to see where this will go." You tell her for what feels like the thousandth time.

To your relief the music started, and it was time for the panel. 

You really we're ready to discuss Jensen, or how you felt about him. You just wanted this panel to be over. You just wanted the end of the day to get here, so that you could go back to his room. 

Make sure he is okay. 

You knew that he was not looking forward to this panel. You could hear the fear in his voice when he asked you if you were gonna be here at the panels.

You watched as Jensen jogged out on the stage. Stopping to irritate Richard and Rob at the top of the stares before tuning to the audience. 

"Good morning Dallas!" He says into the microphone, and people cheer around the room. 

"I wanna get something out of the way before I take any questions...." 

The room fell creepy silent. Everyone was hanging on his every word, and you held your breath right alone with them... 

"Danneel and I are no longer together, and we are getting a divorce. The rumors are true on that, but I will NOT be answering ANY questions about Danneel and myself, or the divorce. Please respect my privacy while I work this out okay." 

When he was finished speaking the audience applauded with a few people yelling.

"We love you Jensen."  

The rest of the panel went off with a hitch as he took questions. His eye trained you between each question. 

You didn't understand why or how, but you've already fallen head over hills for this guy. You only could pray he feels the same.

You knew that if the two of you started a steady relationship, rumors would be everyone, and so would some backlash, but you didn’t care about that, your main focus was Jensen.. 

He needed you… 

Right now that’s all that matters.

---------------------------

After what felt like an eternity the day was finally coming to a close... 

It was the last panel of the day, and down to the last question... 

Jensen looked absolutely exhausted... 

You decided not to do a photo op. with all the attention Jensen and yourself were currently getting on social media, both good and bad, it just felt like the right decision to stay away from anything else that could be put on the internet.. 

You definitely didn’t want to give Danneel any more material...

That morning before you left him for the day, Jensen had given you a spare key to his room, and asked you to just move your things over during the day so that you can just stay with him. You figured since everyone would be busy doing the ops, you could move your things over without too many people noticing what you were doing.. 

You had put your number into his phone, and were texting back and forth every chance you got during all the insanity that is a con, and it was hard not to smile every time you saw his name appear on your phone screen.. 

As soon as the panel was over you were headed up to his room, planning to get a shower before he got there. Jensen said, it was going to take about an hour for him to get to the room once the panel was over. So you had a little time..

As everyone was standing up to make their way toward the door y/f/n stopped you. 

"Hey can we talk a second before you go to meet Jensen." She asked, looking a little guilty. 

"Sure..."

Sitting back down in your seat your stomach was a little uneasy, you hoped she hadn’t blabbed about Jensen and yourself to someone.. Because you’d probably kill her. 

"You know that guy I've been talking to for about a month now, Alex? Well things are getting pretty serious, and he's asked me to move in with him." 

You sit there in silence for a moment. 

Not necessarily shocked, you could see they were getting pretty close, you knew it was coming.

What your biggest fear was is where the fuck are you gonna live now...

"I've decided to just give you the apartment." She said, handing you her key. 

You took it not knowing what to say at first. 

"Are you sure you want to do this? When are you going to get your stuff?" You asked, she looked down at her converse, looking even more guilty. 

"Well... he moved it out today for me. I called and asked the front desk to unlock, and lock the door for him. I'm sorry. I made sure my half of rent and utilities are paid up for the month. Kinda to give you a heads start." 

You couldn't be mad at her. She looked so pathetic, and besides you were glad that those two were finally moving forward with a relationship they’d been dancing around for a while now..

Grabbing her pulling you pull her into a hug.

"Thank you for everything you've done this past year." You tell her, and she hugged you back, both of you trying to not cry in that moment.

"Furniture and everything is still there. Just my clothes, and personal stuff will be gone, and we can still have lunch twice a week." She said, relieved you weren't angry with her.

The two of you hear heavy footsteps coming up from behind you, she looks over your shoulder, and gives you a knowing smile..

"Looks like I need to get going, See you in the morning." With that she practically runs to the exit. 

Turning you see Jensen headed up the aisle toward you. A little concerned look on his face as he watched your retreating friend.. 

"Hey everything okay?" He said, pulling you to him when you stood up from your seat, not caring who was around or who saw. 

He had been separated from you all day, you could tell he was past done with people period, and their rumors and theories.. 

"Yeah everything is fine I'll tell you later." You say, leaning your head against his shoulder for a moment.. 

You felt safe here... 

Even though the two of you were getting some weird looks from Misha, Rob, Richard, and the rest of the band...

"Did you get everything moved over to my room?" He asked, pushing a stand of loose hair behind your ear.

"Yeah everything is there. That's what I was doing during the photo op." You tell him, trying to make a good excuse as to why you weren't there today. Besides it wasn’t a lie, and you had a valid reason for not wanting to do ops, or anyone seeing you moving your crap to his room. 

"Okay, I'll only be about 30 minutes. Just got some loose ends to tie up before tomorrow." He said, bending down and giving you a peak on the lips, making everyone in the room jaw drop before heading to the stage where they were all waiting for him..

.......................................

Jensen's POV:

"So... you two officially a thing now?" Misha asked, batting his eyes at Jensen like an idiot. Jensen fought against the eye roll he wanted so desperately to give him, and just settled for a bitchface.

"That's got to be some sort of a record." Misha continued, propping himself up on one of the chairs Jensen and Jared were just sitting on. 

This time Jensen rolled his eyes at him.  Misha could be such a douche when he wanted to be. That or he was just being a little touchy still. 

"No, not officially." Jensen said in the most nonchalant way possible, trying to just brush it off. Although Jensen knew that was the reason for this 'Meeting' they wanted an answer to what was going on with him, and he couldn’t blow them off any longer he knew that...

"I talked to Andrew, and I'm going to be taking a week off before I head to Vancouver. As most of you know, I got some personal stuff I got to work through before I head back to Vancouver." 

Jensen there with his hands in his pockets, bracing himself for the onslaught of questions he knew were coming.. 

"What happened man?" Rob asked, seeming genuinely concerned. 

"A long progression of things that eventually led up to me catching her with another man yesterday." Jensen said, keeping more of the personal stuff to himself. Just using short answers, it was easier that way... 

Anger had taken the place of hurt. He was trying to control his emotions, but everything she had done to him over the years had made him hard. He didn't even notice most of the crap she was pulling at the time. Looks like hind sight really is 20/20.

"You know we're all here for you man. Whatever you need." Richard said, clapping his hand over Jensen’s shoulder, and giving him what was supposed to be a reassuring squeeze. 

Jensen knew they all were hoping he’d go into more detail, but there were a lot of things he wasn’t ready to talk about just yet, hell some of it he was still working out for himself..

The rest of the meeting went on as expected, questions about new scripts and things that normally went on for shooting schedule’s having to be rearranged.

Jensen’s mind wasn’t really on any of it.. He just wanted to get done so that he could get back to Y/n, who was waiting in his room...

She already had a hold on him. 

Jensen was no idiot, and knew that being involved with someone already didn’t exactly look good, and that It wasn't the 'normal' thing to do; but he just couldn’t shake the way she makes him feel. 

There's so much in his life right now that's uncertain. 

The custody arrangement with his kids, who's gonna get the house in Austin, all the little details that come with a divorce. 

He doesn't want to think about having to do this alone, because he wasn’t sure he could live through it... That's why he wants SOO bad for this to work out with Y/n. 

He needs a win. 

For years now he’d been on the receiving end of an abusive relationship, and didn't even realize it until last night when he had someone wrapped in my arms that didn't act like they'd catch some incurable disease if he touched them. 

That’s what got him to thinking about the past 10 years... All the signs that he refused to see that because so obvious. 

He’d been miserable for years, and not he had a chance to be happy with someone, someone that seemed to actually give a shit, and he wasn’t about to walk away from that opportunity, no matter what other people thought, for once in his life, he was going to think about himself. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[scentedsongrebel]

Broken Pieces (2/3)

Pairings: Steve Rogers × fem! Reader (Reader mentioned)

Summary: Steve and his two mini team mates embark on the mission to procure the replacement piece of glass.

Warnings: Cursing, dad! Steve, fluff, little angst, horrible attempt at humor... Tell me if I miss any.

Word Count: 4445

SERIES MASTERLIST MAIN MASTERLIST

PART 1

His car raced through the ebony roads only illuminated by the head lights of his car and the sparkle of the crescent moon. The cold winter air swooshes in through the small gap of Max' window and Steve uses the button he has on his side to completely close the window.

The numbers on his speedometer rise to a limit he is not proud of especially because of the occupants of the back seat. But extreme times call for extreme measures. At least that’s what he tells himself.

He sighs as he takes a turn through the dark road, the way to Brooklyn city from his suburban house ingrained in his brain.

"This is only because we are getting late" He glances over at the two occupants of the back seat through his front mirror

"What?" Lana asks grumpily, still upset about being forced to sit on the back seat after a fight with her brother over who gets shot gun before Steve announced neither would

"The fast driving" He taps the steering wheel "I would never do that if it weren't an emergency"

"You telling this to us or yourself dad?" Max asks from the back seat and Steve has to grit his teeth.

Why was it that his children needed to test every level of his patience? Couldn't they just listen and nod their head in understanding? Is it too much to ask for people around him not to question everything that he does?

He curses those stupid Vitamins and Healthy food you serve these children so they have a stronger body and quicker brain. He really misses the time when Max didn't in fact understand that that was exactly what Steve was doing. Telling himself that to throw away the guilt that homes itself in the crevices of his body, reminding him every careless second that goes by about his indiscretions as a responsible father.

He again sighs and slows down the car. Do hell with being late.

"Dad what are you doing?" Lana asks frantically as she realizes the car has decelerated its speed

"I'm slowing down the car" he replies, without even glancing her way once

"This is all your fault" Lana grits her teeth and turns towards her brother a punch landing on his shoulder "Why did you need to point it out? did you see me do that?"

Steve has a very strong urge to groan in frustration but refrains just like he refrains to acknowledge the fact that he just knows this girl has only just turned a teenager. He has a long road of arguments ahead of him.

"Dad" Max whines rubbing his shoulder “she's hitting me"

"Lana"

"It was his fault!"

“Alahna"

"Fine. I'm sorry"

Before the smug, teasing look on Max' face initiates a new argument that would result in Steve inevitably gaining more white hair he interrupts

"We would be in the city in 5 minutes" he says as the honking and car sounds start to sound indicating entry into the city

"I'm gonna drive to that small furniture store your Mom loves so much and get an exact copy of the glass"

"What if they don't just sell a piece of glass?"

"You know son" he smiles and winks at his son through the rear view mirror "I don't like to do it often but when you are who I am, its a little easier to convince people"

The tries not to smirk at the looks of shock that his kids project his way.

------------

"So the shop is closed" Steve says with a groan as he places his hand on the wall and looks down with a sigh

"Its 8:30" Max says dejectedly "Shops like these close around 7"

"Yeah I guess so" Steve moves towards Max and ruffles his hair "Its okay, we tried, we will deal with Mom"

Max just nods his head, looking up at his father sadly and before Steve can go ahead and say something to his daughter, loud banging envelopes the area as said daughter bangs her hands through the closed gates of the shop

"Lana" Steve hisses angrily "What do you think you're doing"

"Getting them to open the shop" She screams "HELLO IS ANYONE THERE??"

"Stop it" Steve whisper screams, looking around wildly in fear

"We came all the way over here dad" she says, still beating he door  "Might as well try"

The thaak thaak of hand hitting glass door blurs into background, a car honking loudly passes from behind him and the night insect sings its song. The noises all seem to be mocking him and his predicament.

Now Steve was a good father. At least you assured him that he was. He had an authoritative stand and believed in disciplining his children along side letting them have some fun.

When you had come to him suggesting adoption and he had readily agreed to adopt Max and Lana after meeting them, he had made a decision to be the disciplinarian in the family. The one that could handle the kids when they have those rebellious moments because he was sure in your inability to discourage behavior you actively involved yourself in.

Steve never considered the possibility of how if he could not tame the craziness that was you, how was he supposed to do it with your children? Four of them. And well his elder daughter was learning very quickly how to break the very strict resolve he was previously proud of. Was there a way he could keep her away from her own mother? That would be cruel right? Right?

He shakes his head but lets his daughter continue her breaking of the door, with a stone in his heart and with high reluctance he mentally has to agree with her.

They came all the way here, might as well try.

Poor Max is crouching down, behind the car, far away from where his sister has gone crazy and decides to stay there, vigorously gesturing with his hands when Steve motions for him to come closer when the inside of the shop lights up.

Steve knows what he is gesturing.

'I don't wanna get killed.'

'Same here son' he thinks to himself and shuts his eyes when keys jingle and the owner starts opening the shop from the inside, an angry scowl painting her dark face 'At least you are not the irresponsible father here.'

Lana turns to him, a smirk gracing her lips and a proud glint in her eyes

"I did it Dad" the girl exclaims proudly and Steve tries to give her a smile in which he fails miserably

"Dad don't worry" she whispers coming closer to him as the angry woman pushes the door open, a baseball bat in her hands "I know you're afraid she's gonna be angry but I've got it covered"

Steve turns to his daughter, a look of confusion on his face as the young girl steps ahead towards the old, angry, scratch that, furious woman in front of her.

Now his strong dad instincts tell him to step in front of his daughter and shield her but a look at the old lady's face tells him his daughter has a better chance and well if there is an attack, Steve knows he will be in front of Lana before the woman could even lift her bat up.

So for now he lets Lana take charge. She clearly knows what to say and do. Maybe she will do all the talking and Steve won't have to do shit.

Lana steps forward confidently and looks over at the scowling lady's bat

"We are here in peace" she says confidently "I'm Alahna Rogers, I was here with my Mother 6 months ago"

The old lady seems to not have let go of her anger as she initiates a staring match with the young lady who almost reaches her height. The young lady stares back and as several minutes pass by, Steve glances towards his car behind which his son peaks out, looking over in interest.

Its several moments before the old lady speaks

"Very well" her face is passive and Steve feels a bubble of hope "But why the fuck are you creating ruckus in my shop after closing hours?"

She angrily bangs her bat against a piece of showpiece table just on the entrance of her shop in annoyance and said piece of furniture breaks into several pieces

Steve has to gulp at that, not even caring about the kind of language being used in front of his kids. Bucky’s words bounce around his brain as reassurance 

They will learn them eventually 

All he cares for right now is getting away from this scary lady. With Adrenaline shooting through his vessels, his fight or flight response slanting more towards the flight, he steps ahead to scoop Lana up and make a run towards his car before the young girl raises a hand at him

"He's the former Captain America" she says and then turns to him, winking "And he needs your help, Mam"

Lana proudly reaches for her father's hand and pulls him close and he curses all those moments where he would boast about his reach in front of the kids. When he would talk about his alien fighting days and the super hero stuff while you would murmur about him being a showoff under your breath.

You did mention there was a reason you never showed off your skills in front of the children. You did warn him those would come back to hit him in the ass. And it clearly seems like the hit is gonna be from a baseball bat swung at him by an old Lady.

He clears his throat, trying to decide words that would suit the situation but words seem to have run away in fear too. 

Sam once told him how he couldn't just shut up even when there were literal aliens in the process of attack. Funny how all it took was an angry old lady with a baseball bat to Shut him up. Sam is gonna have a blast.

Steve makes a mental note to bribe the two witnesses not to utter a single word of this to either Sam or Bucky if he makes it out of here alive.

"We need the glass of the table we purchased from you" Lana takes charge when she realizes her father was no use at the moment. A feeling of embarrassment sweeps in when he realizes he was pushing his daughter ahead in the battle field but in this moment he was okay with that. The enemy seems to not interested in attacking her.

"What?"

"Maam" he clears his throat and steps forward, offering his hand to the old lady who does not take it, his hand keeps hanging in the air as he introduces himself "I'm Steve Rogers"

The old lady nods in acknowledgement before bringing her bat up and moving it towards Steve's still out stretched hand. He winces, preparing himself for the blow and images of his 8th grade teacher using a scale to hit his hand as punishment for the fight he had with Alvin Matthews flashes through his brain

He flinches as the bat touches his hand but there is no attack, instead the lady uses the bat to make Steve put his hand back down on his side which he promptly does

"What'da ya want from me?"

She asks, her eyes narrowed as she crosses her arms, the bat still in her hand and Steve finds himself telling her the entire story. No details missed. By the time he is finished with his story, Max has made his way to stand besides his father and the old lady gestures for them to enter her shop

"Its cold outside"

Steve did not realize the existence of the cold pre-winter air that swooshes through the night until the lady mentions it and after that he can only look over at his children who have been wearing their coats and caps and feels a little relief. Only a little.

"Why didn't you tell me you were cold" he fusses, rubbing his hands together and touching them on both the kids' faces one by one to provide a little warmth

Both make faces and try to move away from his fussing self as they follow the lady deeper into the shop

"Stop it dad" Max whines as he continues to fuss "Its not even snowing, its not that cold"

Steve shakes his head but before he can say anything else the old lady comes back out from where she had gone somewhere inside the shop carrying three cups of something on her tray.

A closer look and a sniff through his nose and he knows its hot chocolate.

"Oh no no" Steve shakes his head "You didn't have to do that"

The old lady turns to glare at Steve and he effectively shuts up as he watches Lana excitedly grab a cup and Max grabbing one too but not mirroring his sister's excitement

He looks over at Steve in worry being smart enough to know taking things from strangers and drinking them is the stupidest thing you can do

His daughter on the other hand seems to have forgotten every single thing he had taught her and he grits his teeth before Lana can take a sip. Scary old Lady or not he is not gonna risk his children's safety

"Lana" he says sternly warning her against going ahead and drinking the thing with his eyes but before he can say any further the old woman interrupts him

"I haven't mixed anything in it but I get your concern" she picks up the third cup of hot chocolate and sits down on the antique looking chair behind her, taking a sip of the drink "That is why I didn't bring you one"

She keeps sipping from her cup as Steve looks at her in shock, still not sure about what was going on

"Well your dear wife got the table custom made"

"What?"

"She could not decide on one so we sat together and browsed through designs before she chose one"

"Browsed through designs?" Steve is completely perplexed "I thought she found the perfect table here"

"That is what Mom told you" Lana mutters, still holding onto her cup to absorb its warmth in her hands "She said she didn't want to have to deal with you telling her how expensive having custom made things is when you yourself have millions of updates developed into your car"

Steve stares at his daughter before turning to look at the old lady, then back to his daughter then to Max

"And you knew too?"

"Oh no no no" Max shakes his head vigorously then points at his sister "She did"

Steve turns back to his daughter

"I went with Mom to pick up the table, she tried to hide it from me but the tempo guy let it slip

"And you didn't think to tell me" Steve finds himself growing more and more irritated with the situation at hand. It was seeming that his marriage had more secrets than he thought.

"I promised Mom not to tell"

"And?"

Lana looks down at the floor as she mumbles

"She bought me those blue tooth ear plugs for my silence".

Max gasps as Steve just shakes his head. Why was he not shocked

"I knew it" Max points at his sister, his eyes wide "I knew she didn't just buy you those, I had been asking her for them for months before she got a pair for me!"

"Well she did get you a pair" Lana crosses her arms

"After begging her for months!"

"Then start finding black mail material against them, its really effective, you know" Lana tells him proudly "Remember the expensive cover for my phone, I got it when dad dropped the box that contained the Expensive China and broke every single plate before going to the store and Buying the exact same plates"

Steve looks down at his feet as all eyes turn to him, Max' wide with shock and the old lady's shining in amusement. The old Lady lets out a laugh

"Great marriage you got going there"

Steve whips his head to look up at her and shakes his head

"No-No we don't- Always-" Scary old lady or not he was not gonna let anyone say anything bad  about his marriage or wife.

"I know" she nods her head in understanding, a smile still on her lips "Just little secrets, every marriage has them"

Steve nods hid head, trying not to thing about his daughter and the black mailing techniques they have unknowingly taught her. What the hell were they doing? Bribing a little girl with stuff she wanted to keep things from each other? That needed to stop. But how the hell was he gonna bring up the topic?

A thought flashes through his mind just then that has his entire body shaking, petrified.

Were you guys bad parents?

Was this the thing he was afraid of from the start? That he in fact was spoiling his daughter.

But before he could drown more and more in his thoughts, the old lady speaks again

"So yeah, I don't got the glass you need, it was hand carved into. I myself delicately put it together, its gonna take me at least a few days to make an exact same one"

Steve shakes his head and shoots her a grateful smile. They did not have days, it was mere hours before you got home and found out.

He turns to look at his son who seems so dejected, Steve feels his heart sting from the pain of having hurt his son. He knows how much Max did not want to be the one that disappoints you and even though he knows you would never be disappointed in him he still wanted to be the one that found a solution. His son was like him in this matter. Even if you had found out it was a new piece of glass, it still would be after Max had found a solution.

Not wanting his son to feel this way was one of the major reason he even agreed to this operation

He moves to take Max in a hug before Lana pipes in again

"Uncle Tony has one"

"What?"

"When you decided to build the table yourself, uncle Tony came here to have an exact same designed piece made"

Steve”s eyes were wide as his lips pressed in a thin line. Who the hell did Tony think he was? Rage. Red hot rage was what he was felling right now and Tony better have his suit handy because Steve was in the mode to start another Civil war.

Max runs towards Lana in excitement, his father forgotten

"Seriously? Uncle Tony is the best!"

Steve grits his teeth and turns to the old lady who nods her head

"Tony Stark did come to my shop to get an exact replica made but I thought he wanted it for himself"

"Tony" Steve angrily whispers to himself, ignoring the celebration that his children were having "Where does he get off huh?"

"Uncle Tony saved us Dad" Max runs back to him and his jaw ticks "Now we can go and ask for his help"

Steve shakes his head but turns to the old lady

"I'm sorry for the trouble we caused you this time of the night" he digs in through his pocket and pulls out a twenty dollar bill, placing it on the table in front of him "We'll see ourselfs out"

"Hey you didn't but anything" the lady stands up "I can't accept this"

"Please do, for the unwanted night duty and" turns nods towards the broken table by the entry gate "you know that-"

"No no, that is a fake"

Steve knits his eyebrows together

"I only have it for showpiece. Your wife said I could easily scare you the last time she was here so I was trying it out"

"She what?" Steve's mouth is now wide open

"Yeah she told me next time she would bring you with her and that we would try this out"

Lana is laughing from where she is far left of him

"She did"

"I can't believe this"

"Also I was the one that told your daughter to bang on my door whenever she needs me, I didn't think she would actually do it but I was the one that told her that, I cannot accept this".

Steve shakes his head at her before looking at his daughter who gives him a cheeky smile

God his children were gonna be the death of him

----------------------------------------------

Procuring the perfect piece of glass this close to midnight was harder than Steve ever thought. One that was exactly the same as in the background of the picture of Aiden showing off his new shoes was even harder.

In Steve's defense, there was not a single photo of only the table that he could find. This was the only picture that actually gave visibility to the table. What is with his family and covering up the entire frame while getting their pictures clicked? Can't they just stand at a side so the furniture gets visibility too? And what kind of people don't click pictures of their furniture? Especially the ones that are at risk of getting broken. Steve would have to remember all these points for the future.

The children trailing behind him as he embarks on his man hunt asking why they just couldn't go to Uncle Tony was not making it any easier then it already was.

Fuck Uncle Tony

Steve was close. Very very close. Close to bust out and just say those words in front of his children after every:

“But Uncle Tony already has it”

“Why are we not going to Uncle Tony”

“Uncle Tony got the exact thing made”

That is why. He wanted to scream but would just shake his head and move forward, not letting his children see the angry look on his face and the clench of his jaw.

A part of him knew he would ultimately have to go to Tony. He was too deep in this now. Maybe if he had  decided to tell you the truth you may have even laughed it off and gone to the old lady and ordered a new piece of glass.

But no. No no no. He had to be the hero. The savior for his kids. He wanted to fucking show them that their father knew how to get things done.

He wanted them to trust him with this so they could trust him in the future when they are in bigger problems. Was that so much to ask?

When the last shop that was open  - because Steve refused to let Lana do the door beating thing again- said no. Steve knew there was no other choice. 

And so here he was. All alone because he knew how this was gonna go and having Tony tease him was one thing. Having the kids watch Tony make fun of him was another. He was not gonna let that happen.

So with a promise to get the mission to completion at any condition to his hopeful children outside the door of his house he took another route.

He sighs as he stands outside Stark's lab waiting for him to emerge out with what is needed.

Don't get him wrong. Tony and him have long let go of all their differences and Tony was even the one who helped Steve get away with the Avenging life style and have a safe place for his and Sam and Bucky's family near to where Tony lived close to the Avengers Compound.

It was more because of the memory where Tony had made fun of him when the The ex- Captain had declared he was very capable of building up the table from the pieces that came in a box without any help.

Tony had laughed while you had tried to control the smile from taking over as you tried to remind him how bad he was at these things.

Now Steve is not one of those people that lets his ego and superiority complex make his decisions. But Steve was also the person who gets his ego hurt easily. And so he had been the one to build the table.

Showing off was a huge thing he did after that and Tony had had enough of it. So him coming to Tony for help fixing said table that had in fact been defectively put together was something that was hitting hard at his ego.

But that's what being a parent meant right? Making stupid compromises. Because those damn kids just put him in his place. Even though they may be doing it unknowingly. Which he seriously doubts.

Tony's laugh sounds as he emerges out of his lab with a perfectly cut out piece of glass following after him on some robotic trolley or something.

"Well Cap" Tony says, dusting his hands together "You are lucky I had an inclination something like this would happen and had the exact piece of glass in my lab, just needed to resize it"

Steve takes a deep breath

You promised your son

He has to mentally remind himself why he had to do this

"So lets fix up your colossal screw up shall we?"

You love your children. You should not break promises you made to them. Max looks up to you as his father. You can't let him down.

His jaw clenches as he just nods his head towards a smirking Tony and moves to pick the piece up.

"Wait Cap. My robo here will deliver it" Tony nods at the robotic trolley as it moves forward "I would be there myself to make sure you don't screw it up again but its almost Morgan's bedtime and I gotta read her a story, don't want her to feel left out now that the new baby is here"

Steve nods his head, giving a small smile at the mention of the kids' name but before he can ask about them or Pepper, Tony opens his obnoxious mouth

"Don't worry, my robo is high tech. He will fix the table so you don't cause a disaster again"

Lana would be so upset if you don't do this

tags: @maravderofthephoenix

He closes his eyes and follows the robo as it proceeds towards Steve's house.

PART 3

[anystalker707]

Hey, sugar

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader Genre: Fluff Word count: 2 782 Summary: Pastel goth reader has a summer love

Coming to the beach during vacation this time was some good idea I came up with. I mean, it's not any beach, it's one far from home so I could really get away from all the problems and get a real break.

It's a relief seeing my room's door - after all the traveling hours, I'll finally be able to get some rest. While unlocking it, something catches my attention by the corner of my eye and I turn to see two guys standing by the doorway of a room two doors ahead of mine, talking with someone who isn't visible to me. One of them has bright red hair, leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest - and let me say, he's extremely handsome -, while the other's hair tips are bleached. The thing is that the latter seems to feel my stare even if it's not directed to him, then pokes the other, muttering something that makes the red haired look at me. What really brings me back to reality is the smirk showing up over his lips as both of them watch me, seeming entertained.

Fuck, what the hell am I doing? Realizing it makes a blush show up over my cheeks, so I don't think twice before walking in my room.

Some hours later I decide I've got enough energies to explore the place - or at least the hotel - and throw some dark clothes on, not forgetting to pull on my kandi cuffs and wrap the colorful band-aids around my fingers to leave. It's not like my fingers are hurt or something similar, but the aesthetic is damn awesome. I check if I've got my cigarettes with me before walking out of the room, walking down the stairs calmly.

Honestly, it's weird. I'm not used to being pulled away from my everyday life like this, being in a place almost completely unknown to me... It makes me feel somewhat numb, in a weirdly good way.

The back part of the hotel has a small restaurant and a really wide garden with tables well distributed around it. It's beautiful, may I say - worth all the money I spent, so far. Some people already crowd the place when I get there, but I prefer to stay away from them, in my own corner as I appreciate the view. Even if it's not long past the lunch, the trip seems to have messed with my appetite.

How is it possible to not notice bright red hair under the afternoon sun? Answer: it's not. My eyes glue over the guy from earlier once I spot him sitting in one of the tables with other three guys. Apparently, I make the same mistake from earlier because, when I realize it, all the four are looking back at me with entertainment and even certain amusement. I click my tongue, annoyed, and turn away, blushing as cursing under my breathe.

Maybe a cigarette will solve it all - I conclude, noticing I'm pretty lightheaded, probably because of the trip. My box of cigarettes and my cigarettes are the best thing ever; the box is pastel pink with some old styled, colorful stickers I glued to it while the sticks themselves have the print of roses on them, in an even lighter pink tone. Yes, they're custom and costed a lot, but it was worth it. The lighter matches them.

"Don't you think you shouldn't do those? Didn't you know they can kill you?" An unfamiliar voice asks from my side, without me noticing any approach. My heart stops for a moment when seeing the red haired standing right there beside me, having a flirty grin on and hazel eyes observing me intently. Thankfully, my surprise isn't reflected physically, so I keep the cool and return the smirk, letting the cigarette hang in the corner of my mouth while I pocket the box and lighter.

"Maybe, but I don't really care." I answer lazily, taking a drag of the cigarette. As the smoke escapes through between my teeth, we just gaze at each other in a silence that's more challenging than uncomfortable. "And who do you think you are to opine about my life like this?"

"I'm sure I'm Gerard Way," He moves his head so the red strands aren't falling over his face anymore, increasing the smug vibe he gives off. "and you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." A wink is sent in my direction, completing the shameless flirting - I crack a laugh.

"Sorry, but mom didn't decide to name me like this." I joke, watching him carefully - he got my full attention with that attitude. "I'm (y/n) (l/n) and do you want me to call the firefighters now?" Raising my eyebrows questioningly, I resist the urge of letting out another chuckle - but he does do it, releasing a breathy one.

"Of course, you're so hot you're putting us all in risk." Gerard's matter-of-factly voice plus the matching expression almost make me lose it, so I need to bite down on my bottom lip to not overreact while looking away, shaking my head to myself. "So, you're here all by yourself?" Even with it being a normal question, he maintains the flirty tone.

"No." I prefer to lie - like, I don't even know him properly, God knows what he'll do if knowing I'm somewhere I barely know. "Who are your friends?"

"Why the question if your interest is clearly just me?" His smug tone makes me want to punch him hard; I make sure of not showing any sign of that wish.

"To entertain you, dear, of course." Pretending disinterest is an attempt of teasing him and finding out how far will that go - to make it more believable, I winkle my nose lightly, averting my look from again.

"That's kinda incoherent to the fact you've been staring at me since the first time you saw me, hm...?" He hums like if he'd just won our undeclared battle.

"Nah, like," I don't lose the posture. "with that red hair, you let it clear you're the kind of person that begs for attention from everyone." Tables have turned, I think, copying his cocky tone.

"Maybe I did beg for everyone's attention, but just until I saw you. Now I just want yours." His cheerful grin is a mocking contrast to the whole mood, what makes me scoff. "Want to join me for a drink?" Gerard blinks in a false sweetness.

It's difficult to refuse his proposal, so I don't and we're soon sitting on a couple of stools by the bar - after I safely discarded my cigarette - with cold nonalcoholic drinks in hands. "How long have you been here for?" I ask, trying to continue the conversation.

"Arrived yesterday night." He smiles, "Don't worry, sugar, we're going to spend enough time together!" Gerard winks once again and I internally question how the fuck did I manage to get in a situation like this just into almost four hours in a new place.

We spend a good time talking, until he needs to leave with his friends, then I decide to eat before I faint or something. The rest of the day goes by nicely; I get to take a look at the street and memorize the way until the beach, which's unfortunately full of people, so I prefer to head back to the hotel to come back in one of the times recommended by a friend of mine some days ago - he's been here enough times to know when the beach's calmer.

The sun in the early hours of the day is practically harmless, creating the still not so hot weather that doesn't attract most of the people makes it a perfect atmosphere for me. Smiling, I lean back on the chair as watching the waves coming undone when meeting the sand while the sky slowly changes from a light orange, pinkish tone in a dull background, to a bright blue color with now white clouds. Watching it all happening is almost hypnotizing.

Suddenly noticing a guy jumping in the water startles me, but what surprises me mostly is how he doesn't even flinch at the temperature. It earns a few loud laughs and appreciative shouted words coming from who seem to be his friends. Everything is alright until I notice the familiar red hair coming into the scene, almost falling when the first guy throws himself on him, probably to get Gerard in the water since he was just standing there at first - once it happens, Gerard lets out a loud high pitched yell that's impossible to not laugh at.

I keep watching them running around until they're not much far from me - the whole time, they're where the water reaches after the waves break while I'm sitting on my chair, under an umbrella, some good meters away from there - and it's in that exact moment that Gerard notices me there. There's an obvious grin over his lips as he changes his route, now running towards me. His friends don't take long to understand what's happening and start to whistle or say suggestive things.

Gerard doesn't say anything at first once standing next to me, just looking at me while my eyes scan his body. "Y'know," He's got that flirty posture back on. "you're staring."

"It's exposed, of course I'm going to." I shrug, moving my eyes to finally meet his. "Seriously, can't I have a single moment of peace with you around?"

"Wanna figure out, sugar?" He wriggles his eyebrows, transferring his weight to a single leg. A giggle leaves his lips as I roll my eyes. "I'll take that as a yes." And, not even giving me a chance to reply, he continues. "Why don't you come with us? You don't seem to be having any fun, all alone here." I melt inside at the sight of him pressing his lips together in a way both are sticking out, in the cuter way possible - the motherfucker knows really well the effects of this expression, that's exactly why he's using it. "What do you say?" He extends a hand towards me, winking.

Even with me trying to ignore him, Gerard shows no sign of giving up so soon. "Okay, sugar." A breathe leaves my lips and I'm the one to give up, refusing to take his help and rising to my feet by myself; I check if all my things are safe under the chair then walk with him towards where the others seem to resist to the shorter one pulling them towards the water.

"Hey, guys," Gerard gets their attention and I immediately feel uncomfortable under their knowing gazes, but make sure of not letting them know it. "this is (y/n)." He's got kind of a proud tone on, making me roll my eyes.

"All in pastel and black tones..." The one with long hair is the first to speak up, checking me up from head to toes then cracking a side grin. "A softie, how cute!"

"I'm not sure if you'll think the same if you continue talking to me like this." I force a smile watching him raise his eyebrows lightly.

"Don't mind him, he's usually annoying like this." The taller says, slapping the back of the other's head playfully - he receives a sulky face in return. "I'm Ray, that's Mikey," He says extending an arm to the guy who told Gerard I was staring at him yesterday, moving to the short guy right after. "and the annoying one is Frank."

Alright, I admit it that spending the day with them is damn nice. We headed back to the hotel not long after lunch, when the quantity of people in the beach started being far too much, but we didn't spent much time there and went to explore the city. I love how there's never an awkward silence between us and we're most of the time laughing, like if I knew them for a long time already.

My night, on the other hand, isn't so nice since frantic knocks on my door wake me up. My eyes hurt when I turn the lights on, but I soon get used to it. The red glowing numbers show 4:27, another reason for me to look at Gerard like if he was crazy once I open the door. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You're pastel and punk the whole time, how cute!" He says teasingly while his eyes scan my pajamas - I just roll my eyes, rushing him into saying what he wants already. "I was wondering if you don't want to watch the sunrise with me." And, for the first time, he fucking shows me a true smile and his voice doesn't carry any sarcastic or mocking tone.

Biting down on my bottom lip, I sigh, tilting my head. "Just give me a moment." A couple of minutes later, I walk out of the room and shoot him a playfully suspicious glance as linking my arm to his; we proceed to leave the building then walk through the still dark streets, making the short way until the beach.

The waves are rather calm while the water sounds louder now that the city is silent, not to mention the breeze feels colder, lifting our strands of hair now and then. I don't say anything when Gerard drops his hand to hold mine, just continue to admire the view - maybe I'll never admit, but as soon as his fingers and mine intertwine, it feels... awesome; I don't really know how to explain, it's like everything is supposed to be this way.

We don't walk for long, just doing it until he pulls me to sit down on the sand with him in a place that looks like the one I was sitting on yesterday. I don't know how to explain, but it's like calmness takes over me and nothing else in the universe matters, apart from us and the sea.

No way I'm having a summer love - the thought makes me laugh, getting Gerard's attention. He raises an eyebrow at me, "What's so funny, sugar?" It tickles lightly when he nuzzles the side of my face, still, I limit myself to just smiling in response, muttering it's nothing. "It better not be at my attempt of doing something romantic and all." His eyes narrow in playful anger.

"Of course not, it's amazing, sugar." I crack a side grin, winking back at him. "Probably the best thing I've ever been to. Dates and friendly hanging out included." Raising my eyebrows, I nod approvingly at him, receiving a sweet smile in response. "You just put on that smug posture when you're around other people or what?" I wrinkle my nose lightly as leaning closer to him, pressing my forehead to his. Gerard seems to appreciate my gesture.

"It was kind of a test." He says obviously teasingly, "If you can endure my annoying self, you deserve my sweet, true one." His cocky mode is back on as he lazily says the words, almost almost imperceptibly leaning in to the point our lips are brushing against each other. All the comes from me in response is a hum, seconds before I close the gap between us, finally getting to know what's it to have his soft lips against mine.

The kiss is... well, probably one of the best ones I've ever experienced, like if it reached my soul, as stupid as it sounds. There's nothing similar to lust, anger or any fake love involved, just us at our rawness - it's not like we know each other enough to keep up to some stupid reputation or whatever. It's just us. Gerard, (y/n), the coincidence of coming to the same place to spend our vacations in and the fortune of feeling something for each other. Maybe it was the fate getting us together? We'll never know, at least for now.

I'd describe what's happening between us exactly like the sunrise - just natural. It's all darkness, a sky full of stars, when another one comes up and it's enough to make the shine of the others insignificant. While it's coming up, everything seems magical, with the sky and clouds gaining intense colors that quickly give place to the usual blue and white. Or not; we don't really know what'll happen during the day. Will the clouds cover the sun or will it shine to the point it's boring and annoying? Perhaps, none of it. We need to live and find out.

[sharkfish]

ps i loved this one

(rereading bookmarks edition part 2)

(part 1)

i’ve been rereading stories from my bookmarks as a comfort thing. i’m getting real deep in there to stuff i haven’t (re)read for years, and damn do i have good taste. the ones i’ve read recently that you should, too:

(under the cut so i’m not that asshole that makes you scroll past an endless post)

Best Laid Plans by Persephoneshadow

Things are going well for Dean: he's landed the biggest design job of his architectural career and is about to get final approval on the project despite how difficult the development company, personified by Castiel Novak, has made it. It's not bad for a moody omega...except things are also going terribly for Dean because he has to get in a plane and fly to a meeting, and course ends up in heat a few hours before. Luckily, Castiel is there to help and both men discover the good that can come when nothing goes quite as intended.

i don’t know why i’m such a ho for stories where dean thinks cas hates him, but cas secretly adores him and is just a little “rusty” on his “people skills.” i’m also a ho for stories where dean is a gd skilled genius but his dumb ass still thinks his work sucks and/or anything good is due to other people instead of himself. and also, heat boning. 

Confessions of a Cam Boy by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)

Dean runs a cam show to pay his way through marketing school, but he's about to start an internship that he doesn't know will change his life. Watching Dean's show is Castiel's favorite way to wind down after a stressful day at Sandover Bridge & Iron. When Cas comes to work one day and finds his favorite cam boy setting coffee on his desk, he is completely thrown. Will Dean finish his internship without knowing his favorite viewer is his new boss, or will he be able to see through Cas' non-existent poker face and figure it out?

omg poor cas is soooo awkward and dean is weirded out about how much his new boss seems to dislike him and then it’s super sexy >:) 

For Science by shiphitsthefan

“Think of it like an experiment," says Dean. "You’re testing a hypothesis as to whether or not a desirable response can be achieved through the stimulation of the anus via the application of a willing volunteer’s muscular hydrostat.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Are you actually trying to use the scientific method to talk me into letting you lick my asshole?”

everyone is such adorable nerds in this one. it’s a fic about rimming, but it’s also about love and discovering yourself and acceptance. it explores cas’s realization through his connection with dean that he’s not straight up ace but more grey/demi - and that doesn’t mean he was “faking” being ace up until he met dean. 

Friends with Benefits with Tentacles by andimeantittosting (Saylee)

Dean's never been embarrassed about his porn collection before, but that was before he found Cas holding his prized copy of Sweet Princess Asuka and the Tentacles of Pleasure. Dean finds himself sweating bullets—because this is Cas, sweet, nerdy Cas. Cas, his friend. Cas, his roommate. Cas, his—only slightly out-of-control—crush.

Cas, with his big, blue eyes and muscular arms and perpetual sex hair.

Cas, with his tentacles.

The last thing he expects is for Cas to suggest they experiment together.

there are not enough tentacle fics out there and i 100000% approve of this addition to the tag. i love that dean is out there legitimately studying porn, and the tentacles are obviously super fun, and there were parts where my heart hurt so bad, all around a damn fine fic. 

Grown-Ups Making Grown-Up Choices by Carrieosity

Dean is a grown-ass man - he can take perfectly good care of himself, thank you very much. Except that sometimes the easier or more fun choices aren't always the right or best ones, and, all right, maybe thinking ahead and working the long game isn't his strongest suit. It's fine! He's fine.

When he meets Castiel, he realizes that flying by the seat of his pants may not be the best way to attract the super-serious (gorgeous, funny, genius) Alpha. Dean's shrink has been telling him he needs to start making "grown-up choices," and if that's what he has to think about in order to make Cas fall for him, then he'll give it a whirl.

i LOVE this fic (series). i feel so hard for dean feeling like he’s too old for his life to still be a mess, but i also felt sad for him that he thought he had to make all these hardcore changes - basically turn himself into a different person - to be worthy of cas’s attentions. i fucking adore cas in this, and i nearly cried just thinking about all the damn peppers they eat, and i want to read it again right now. 

If I Run by Anonymous

"Dean Winchester is a red-blooded American male. He lifts all the things. He aims for functional strength. He counts his macros and makes fun of curlbros. He is not a member of the Tarahumara tribe and he will not read Born to Run, no matter how many times Sam tells him to, because Starting Strength is the only book Dean will ever fucking need."

***

Wherein a friendly competition with the mysterious ThursdaysAngel turns into a sexy selfie-trading spree that motivates Dean Winchester to train for his first marathon.

i really really love this fic and reread it pretty often tbh. it only became “anonymous” pretty recently and i’m so curious about why!! regardless, this fic is a really great time!!! 

It's Always More Than Once (Before It Takes) by squeemonster

The first time it happens, it's because of boredom. Or, at least that's what Dean tells himself to justify it. Boredom and Dean Winchester are a dangerous combination, especially when you factor in beer, a raging libido, and laziness.

dean: my dudes, is it gay to do sexy stuff with your male bff? cuz i’m totally straight. but also, having sex with my male bff. 

I Wanna Get Outside (Of Me) by emwebb17

Dean is a novice in the dom/sub world asked by his employer as a desperate last resort to be a sub for his recluse of a brother, Castiel. Castiel is a diagnosed OCD suffering from PTSD and agoraphobia, mysophobia, and dystychiphobia. Needless to say—he’s a mess who hasn’t stepped out of his home in literally seven years. The only times Gabriel can see traces of the way his brother used to be is when he feels in control—specifically when he has control over a sub. However, due to his idiosyncrasies and paranoia, keeping a sub around has been impossible. Enter Dean, who’s not a very traditional submissive, to try his hand at subbing for the hermit.

you know how sometimes you read a fic, and it takes ages to get yourself out of that world? even though you’re finished, you’re still right there with him? this is one of those fics. i reread it a couple weeks ago and fell asleep thinking about it last night. i cry a lot reading this one. 

Living in Agony by ChasingRabbits

Dean Winchester's life is... well, it's not great. He's a gym teacher, he's in his thirties, and he can't seem to keep any part of his life straight. When the aftermath of a one-night stand goes awry, Dean is dragged kicking and screaming out of his cozy little closet and into the harsh light of reality.

Enter: Castiel Novak, the new history teacher, who knows full well that life gets crappy when you don't allow yourself to live it in the way it needs to be lived.

there aren’t a lot of stories that deal with themes of mental illness, and a lot of them read like an episode of degrassi where everything wraps up in 30min to never be discussed again. this story is honest in that there’s no easy out. there’s medication and therapy and supportive people, but that’s not always enough. it’s a story about how you don’t have to be mentally ill to be fucked up, and while people can’t fix each other, they can help each other. content note: references to a pre-story suicide attempt. 

Oddly Shaped Empty by jemariel

Dean grew up thinking -- knowing -- he'd be an alpha.

Until he failed to present. As a beta, he has no mating cycle, no noticeable pheromones, none of the physical markers that are so important in a world of alphas and omegas. He's out of place. How is he supposed to navigate his relationships and find love when he doesn't fit into the neatly-defined boxes he's used to?

By the time he meets his new roommate, Castiel, he's more or less given up on finding a mate. He wears his secondary gender like a chip on his shoulder. But you never know what the future holds, who will come into your life, and how they might change it forever.....

Queer themes, finding identity, reconciling the past, and a whole lot of smut.

y’all know @jemariel is a gd genius, but i’m particularly obsessed with their fics that use abo to explore queer identify & experiences. i hold my breath reading most of this fic and also cry. 

Steal my Breath by Sincestiel

“Tighter, Dean, please,” Cas urges throwing his head back to rest on Dean’s shoulder. Dean squeezes. He doesn’t know why Cas wants this or even what the appeal is, but he always comes harder when he’s struggling to breathe.

what’s on the tin. a quick lil breathplay fic that is thoroughly enjoyable. 

Unsolicited by Dangerousnotbroken

In which Dean Winchester gets an unsolicited dick pic from an unknown sender which is both totally not disappointing in that it's a really nice dick pic, and incredibly disappointing in that it's clearly a downloaded picture of his favorite porn star.

There's absolutely no way it's actually this porn star sending it to him, right?

Right?

this is a destiel classic and i feel like anyone who isn’t new here has probably read it. but here’s your reminder that this is a great fic and you should (re)read it. 

Wordplay by Dangerousnotbroken @dangerousnotbroken​

“I don’t understand why talking dirty is such a big deal for you humans,” Cas complains, apropos of nothing.

it’s a “cas learning about sex” and also dirty talk, which are both things i’m really into!! and DNB is a genius so that’s even better. 

if you enjoy these fics (and you should), please give the writer some love via kudos and/or comments. <3

ps - as always, if i didn’t tag the writer and you know their tumblr, please tag in the comments. i don’t think there’s a writer alive who wouldn’t be happy to be on a rec list. :)

[banditthewriter]

Whatever It Takes - 6 - Billy Russo

Here goes part six! Hope you like it.

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists! Enjoy!

*****

The night that Billy came over with ice cream, he ended up crashing on your couch. You offered him your guest room but he must have fallen asleep before he'd gotten the chance to go up the stairs. You woke up to find him still there the next morning. You hovered a bit before you forced yourself to go into the kitchen and start some coffee.

Since that night, the two of you got together a few more times. Dinner or lunch, coffee once or twice. Each time had the two of you laughing and joking, at ease and content with each other. It hadn’t been like this before when the two of you were more acquaintances than actual friends, but things had changed.

In the week or so that followed neither of you had any events to go to but it didn't stop you from seeing each other. You were amazed at the easy way the two of you seemed to fit together.

It felt natural and was also the biggest disaster you'd ever faced. The longer you both went without a reason for your fake dating, the harder it was to pretend you weren't falling for him. It wasn’t just a surface attraction, a crush you could ignore. No, now it was more.

Billy was someone you respected and someone you trusted. He slowly became more and more important to you until you found yourself wanting to see him every day.

The one way you found to distract yourself was to throw yourself into your work. And once work slowed down and you couldn’t find enough to distract you there, you focused on the charity. Marcia was impressed with your work and your diligence so it seemed that Billy was helping even if he didn’t know it.

About a month into the fake relationship, a courier dropped off a packet of papers for the charity. The first few pages were about the day to day numbers, groceries and utilities. All of this was already covered by the various sponsors so you flipped to the next page. That one held a list of donations from the opening.

Most of the donations were as expected and ranged from a few hundred to one thousand dollars. There was one or two larger donations that were signed by the people you had enticed to the opening.

Then there was an anonymous donation of five grand that made you freeze. It was more than any of the other donations on their own. While the donation was technically anonymous, that just meant they couldn’t be publicized. You flipped to the last pages where there were scanned copies of each check.

It wasn’t like you were being nosy. It was your job to write thank you notes.

There on the last page was the check. The handwriting wasn’t what you’d call familiar, but the name definitely was.

Billy. He’d donated five thousand dollars to Safe Harbor House.

You knew about his past in the system, at least part of it. And while you also knew that he hadn’t wanted to go to the opening when he found out what it was, he had done it for you. You could still remember the vulnerable look in his eyes when you told him about your own past in the system.

While you still had to write a thank you note, at least you wouldn’t have to spend money on postage. You could hand this one to him directly.

When you did give it to him later that same day, he didn’t seem too surprised.

“I knew that it wasn’t one hundred percent anonymous since I signed my own check, but I didn’t realize you’d find out this soon.”

You shrugged your shoulder as you tried to focus on the food on your plate.

“I probably wouldn’t have but I was assigned to write the thank you notes for donations since I helped spearhead the whole thing. But I’m sure if someone else would have seen it, I would have gotten a phone call. You are my fake boyfriend after all.”

A glance from the corner of your eye showed that Billy didn’t react to that at all. You closed your eyes for a second and then moved on.

“How was your day?”

He sighed and leaned forward to grab his beer.

“Fucking nightmare. Got a lot of pressure at the office and it doesn’t seem to be letting up. Might be working long hours for a while, by the way,” he added before he drained the last of his drink. “If something comes up that I need to make an appearance at, you might wanna give me at least a week heads up.”

You told him that you could do that, especially since you couldn’t think of anything he’d need to be present for. But the tension in his shoulders and in his voice made you reach out to cover his hand with yours.

“If you need anything, even just to talk, I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

He looked over at you, his dark eyes moving from your hand on his to your face. His stare was intense. Then he smiled and gave you a quick nod.

“I appreciate it.”

With a quick squeeze, you released his hand and reached out to grab your own drink. Something told you that he had been looking for something on your face just then.

You just wished you knew if he found it or not.

------

The sound of your doorbell made you look up from the article you were reading on your tablet. It was early in the morning on a Sunday and you weren’t expecting anyone. Billy had been busy the night before but he had sent a text almost at midnight to say that he would probably sleep in.

The two of you had started having breakfast together on Sundays. You didn’t mind that he cancelled because like he had said the week before, you knew he was going to be busy.

Had he changed his mind?

Excited at the possibility of getting a surprise visit from Billy, you left the comfort of your recliner and headed to the door. You didn’t even think to check the peephole before you unlocked the door and opened it.

Surprised wasn’t the word for how you felt just then.

“Hey Y/N, been a while.”

Connor was dressed casually which for him meant khakis and a button up shirt. In the back of your head you could register that he looked good, but there was nothing there as you looked at him anymore. No attraction, no interest, no pain.

That last part was new. You thought you’d hurt because of him for a while longer.

“What are you doing here?”

He looked surprised that you didn’t invite him in. Instead you crossed your arms and gave him a distinctly uninterested look. You hoped he’d get the message, but subtly was lost on him.

“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I think we should get back together.” When all you did was blink at him in shock, he held a hand up and continued to talk. “I know that it was my idea to end things and I know I didn’t handle that well, but I really wanna try this time.”

You wanted to laugh. You even let out a short giggle before you covered your mouth. His eyes widened and he tried to smile, but your continued mirth seemed to unsettle him.

“Sorry, it’s just that this is ridiculous. No, really, you’re hilarious right now, but the joke's over. You can leave now.”

Connor shook his head and took a step forward. His hand came out and grasped your wrist. He tugged on it until you stumbled forward a bit.

“You should take me seriously. I mean it,” he said in a low voice, one that was more threatening than imploring, “I want you back. This thing you have with Russo, it’s just a rebound and everyone knows it. I want to be with you and I want to change for you.”

That made your skin crawl for some reason. You tugged on your wrist until he finally released you. Even though you were free, he stepped forward to compensate. It meant his foot was in your doorway and if you tried to shut the door, he’d be able to stop it.

“Let me say this in small words so that you can understand,” you said with a glare, “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. We are over and that’s never going to change. As for what Billy and I have? It’s absolutely none of your business.”

His face slowly filled with anger until there was nothing but rage. It contorted his features to the point of him being almost unrecognizable.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” he spat in distaste. “There’s no one better than me and you know that. You and Russo are pathetic so you deserve each other.”

He turned to leave, marching down your stairs. On the sidewalk he turned back around to face you once more, his voice stopping you as you started to shut the door.

“You better get checked for diseases though. Pretty boy is fucking a Homeland Security agent behind your back.”

The words stung. Your throat felt dry as you shut your door and locked it. Was it just your imagination or were you dizzy?

He was just saying that. He didn’t have any proof. He just wanted to hurt you since you turned him down.

But if there was one thing you knew about Connor, it was that he wasn’t that creative. If he’d just said that Billy was probably cheating on you, that’d be one thing. But to be as specific to list a Homeland Security agent?

You didn’t want to believe it. It was the one thing you had asked when the two of you made this deal; for him not to sleep around and ruin the fake relationship. At least not get caught at it. He had said it wouldn’t be a problem and you believed him.

It wasn’t like you could blame him for seeking that out. If he’d slept with her and it had stayed in the dark, that would have been fine. But for him to be obvious enough to be caught? And caught by Connor of all people?

That didn’t even take into effect the pain that you were feeling from the idea of Billy sleeping with someone else. It was just a fake relationship but your feelings were real. You didn’t want to think about Billy sleeping with other women when all you wanted was…

No. You wouldn’t go down this rabbit hole. You wouldn’t let Connor send you through a paranoid spiral. He did the same when the two of you were together, making you think you were insane for believing he might cheat on you. This was the same thing, only in the opposite direction.

You pulled your phone from your pocket and opened up a text to Billy. He might not be awake, but you could still send him a text, right?

Your fingers hesitated over the keypad before you locked the phone and put it back in your pocket.

It wasn’t like you could tell him that he couldn’t sleep with someone. It wasn’t like the relationship was real. Billy wasn’t yours.

This could come back to bite you on the ass, but you’d accepted that when you agreed to do it. You’d just have to see what happens next.

X

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[vincess-princess]

i am in need of some hs!crüe just helping out Vince with his dyslexia and being really supportive and calming him down when he gets frustrated so if ya ever get the chance I’d love u forever 😊💓 thanks

jesus christ anon im so sorry everything went terribly wrong and i ended up with angst again and i don’t know why it happens i really tried to write fluff!! i guess im just not really in the state for the fluff now. i will post what i wrote here anyway because i spent three sleepless nights on this but it’s not what you asked for :(

Vince let out an exasperated sigh and threw the pencil onto the table. It bounced off it and rolled under the couch. Tommy bended down to pick it up, but it was out of his reach.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Vince announced, leaning back onto his chair and hiking his feet up on the table. “I’m fucking tired.”

“Tell Mick that when you’ll be making excuses for your test results.” Nikki looked up from the notebook where he was scribbling something for the past half an hour. He and Tommy had already finished their homework and were enjoying themselves, leaving Vince to fight with goddamned chemistry alone.

“He’ll understand.” Vince tried to sound confident and failed miserably. Tomorrow was Friday, and another meeting with Mick, and maybe getting to rehearse a couple of The Stones’ songs he showed them last week. Given, of course, that Vince scored more than 90% on his tomorrow chemistry test.

Which at the moment seemed pretty much impossible.

“Of course, he will.” Nikki nodded, a little too condescending to sound natural. “And, understanding everything, he won’t let you in until you bring him an A.”

“Thanks for keeping me updated, mate, I would never know that myself,” Vince couldn’t help but snap, irritation that had been building up in his chest jumping up from mild to high in a matter of seconds.

“I’d let you copy it if we weren’t always given different variants,” Tommy sighed, threw his drumstick in the air and promptly caught it. He’d been switching between running up- and downstairs to bring snacks to the room, spinning his drumsticks and trying to peek at Nikki’s lyrics for the last couple of hours, waiting for Vince to finish so they could go rehearse in the garage.

“No, thanks,” Vince snapped out, his tone maybe too harsh, but to hell with that. Tommy blinked in confusion, dropped his drumstick, plopped on his knees to get it from under the couch and stayed there for good five minutes.

“No need to get so bitchy, you know,” Nikki murmured. “He did you nothing wrong.”

Vince felt the blood rushing to his head.

“Maybe if you weren’t so bitchy yourself, I wouldn’t lash out on him!” his hands started shaking as he was actively suppressing the need to throw the goddamn textbook right at Nikki’s head.

“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking slow we would already have rehearsed everything and then some!”

“Nikki!” Tommy gasped somewhere in the background, but neither of them paid attention.

Slow, the word rang in Vince’s ears, and it was like a punch in the guts.

Nikki looked surprised when he realized Vince was not going to reply. Then he looked at Vince’s face, at Tommy’s shocked expression and became visibly uncomfortable.

“I hope you enjoy tomorrow meeting with Mick,” Vince said, his voice croaky. He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the room.

***

“Vinnie! Don’t go away!”

“Fuck off, T-bone,” Vince said tiredly, but slowed down, letting Tommy catch up with him. “Why don’t you go and rehearse with Nikki? I’m not slowing you two down anymore.” Yes, it was unfair to be so mean to Tommy. He didn’t seem to get upset over it, though.

“You know he didn’t mean it, right?” Tommy asked, still breathless from running. “He was just angry because he wanted to impress Mick tomorrow. You know how he gets about these meetings.”

“Apparently, they’re more important to him than me.”

“Bullshit.” Tommy grabbed him by the sleeve, forcing to stop. “You should’ve seen him after you left. Almost begged me to go bring you back.”

“Now this is definitely bullshit.” Vince stopped after all, still looking strictly forward, his chin unnaturally high. “If he wants me back so badly then why isn’t he here?”

“Too proud.” Tommy shrugged. “He’ll get over it and apologize… in a couple of days.”

“Well, I ain’t gonna wait here for so long. I’m going home.”

“No!” Tommy tugged on his jacket, let go when he saw Vince wasn’t going to stop and just walked by his side. He walked faster than Vince and had to make smaller steps to keep up with him. “Vinnie, please, let’s go back. I hate it when we argue.”

“Do you really wanna spend the night between two people who are actively hating on each other?”

“C’mon, you don’t hate each other. And we had arguments before, and everything turned out fine.”

“Well, Nikki didn’t call me stupid back then,” Vince reminded bitterly.

“He didn’t call you that!” Tommy resented. “He just meant it takes you a little longer…”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m slow, I remember.”

“Christ.” Tommy looked up to the sky with a frustrated expression. “Listen, I don’t wanna say I’m the only one here to actually want this goddamn relationship to work, but it seems like the two of you do your best to fuck everything up.”

It was so out of the blue that Vince almost tripped over in the middle of a perfectly even road. “The fuck you mean by that?”

“I mean exactly what I said.” Tommy stopped, and Vince unconsciously followed suit, baffled by the unexpected stern notes in his voice. “You and Nikki are so busy guarding your fragile egos you don’t care if everything goes sour in the process.” Tommy’s eyes found Vince’s, for the first time since they started talking, and Vince couldn’t look away. “And I do. Even more than I’d want to.”

Tommy bit his lip and looked away, and Vince’s heart sank, because his last phrase was anything but stern or accusatory. Guilty. He sounded guilty. For caring.

The silence lasted, and lasted, and lasted, and neither of them could make a sound, and thousands of words were running through Vince’s head.

“Fuck,” Tommy finally broke it a couple of excruciatingly awkward minutes later, laughing nervously and still not looking at Vince. “It really sounded better in my head. Sorry for the drama.”

“It’s alright.” Vince’s mouth was dry.

“I guess you’d really better go home,” Tommy said, voice thick. “Do you want me to walk with you for a bit? It’s getting dark.”

“Yeah, it really is.” Vince murmured, lingering for a second, and then turned in the opposite direction. “How about I walk you to your house instead?”

Tommy blinked in confusion, then looked up at Vince and beamed.

***

“Oh,” Nikki almost jumped up when they entered the room, then quickly pretended he was going to get up anyway. “Vince, I-”

“-am sorry?” Vince interrupted him, feeling a rush of bitterness from the sight of Nikki. “Save your breath. I came back because Tommy asked me to, not because of you.”

“Well, and I asked Tommy to ask you to come back.” Nikki forced on a smile, though it looked more like a grimace.

“Hey, don’t get me into it!” Tommy resented, not-so-gently pushing Vince towards the bed and standing in front of the door like a guardian. “I got him here, now make up!”

Vince turned to Tommy and ran the side of his palm across his neck in an ultimately understandable I’m gonna kill you. Tommy smiled sheepishly but didn’t move an inch.

Nikki cleared his throat, attracting Vince’s attention.

“Um, I…” his voice faltered. He was never good at apologizing. Too proud, damn it. “I- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You definitely shouldn’t have,” Vince agreed, keeping his voice cold, though the icky, bristly lump in his chest loosened up a little. Watching Nikki so guilty and struggling with his own pride – a trait he rarely tried to suppress - was doing wonders to Vince’s self-esteem. “Anything else to say besides the generic “I’m sorry”?”

“Christ,” Nikki sighed and covered his face with his hands for a moment before looking up at Vince again. “No. Nothing except that I was a major asshole.”

“You sure were.” Vince really hoped Nikki wouldn’t recognize amusement in his voice. Tommy did, and now was doing his best to fight down a smile, lest they accidentally hurt Nikki’s precious feelings. Some part of Vince encouraged him to burst into laughter at Nikki’s pitiful attempts, but he managed to suppress this desire so far. He might be a bitch, but not an asshole.

Nikki looked up at him with clear desperation in his eyes. He was truly sorry. He wasn’t pretending. The icky lump – his bitterness, his disappointment, his feeling of betrayal, - slackened, the tension it caused in his whole body started fading away. The hurt didn’t disappear completely, rather crawled into a hole somewhere far in the back of Vince’s mind to haunt him during some of those terrible sleepless nights of his. But for now it was gone - out of Vince’s way.  

“Listen, I don’t know what else to say,” Nikki admitted, looking Vince pleadingly in the eyes. “What do you want me to do to make up for this?”

“Suck my dick,” Vince offered in a completely serious tone that took all the remains of his poor self-restraint to pull off. Nikki’s face went from confused to indignant to hopeful in a split second, and this was the last straw for Vince’s self-control. He started laughing, and Tommy joined him a second later.

Nikki’s face went to indignant again and remained like this for a solid couple of seconds before he surrendered to laughter as well.

“You were fucking with me! The whole time! Did you plan it?”

“No, but you looked so miserable I couldn’t help it. The suggestion stands, by the way.”

“Oh, sure,” Nikki scrambled to get up, only to fall on his knees in front of Vince a second later. Vince tilted his head back and gripped the sheets, letting out a satisfied moan.

If Nikki would be so eager to blow him after every fight, he might need to reconsider his attitude towards them.

[raguna-blade]

Revolutionary Girl Utena 34-39 And The Adolescence of Utena

So hot diggity damn, I finally finished the Series and it’s Sequel movie. (Perhaps it’s not truly a sequel. I will be graceful and acknowledge this as a possibility as I gleefully ignore it because hot damn that movie makes Negative Sense if You haven’t seen the series before (Which I know factually because I’ve watched it multiple times without having seen the series in full proper. That dance scene man) but makes immense amounts of sense if viewed as a sequel. I’m gonna get around to it sooner or later I think, probably sooner since the subject is on my mind, but still) Shit went down. So much has gone down, but the one thing that I can say is that it I am so glad to see that Akio got dunked on in the most pleasing way by the Lady who consistently spat hot fire the entire series.

Also that Dance Scene was SO FUCKING GOOD, LIKE HOLY SHIT GUYS.

Proper Essays and the like to come as I Do a run through thoughts and such, since I got a bunch of them.

Episodes 35-39

Episode 35

Oh Boy prince time again. Oh god. Oh god they changed it again.

I find it interesting that Dios is Still framed pretty sympathetically. He's a solid A plus good guy, but shit goes so horribly wrong that he just...stops. Hm. Wonder if there's a reason WHY he warped so? It doesn't excuse anything but...

Wait, did Utena start recalling everything? Hell of a way to regain your memories.

I do not appreciate the crotch shot here following that last ep.

GODDAMNIT AKIO. YEAH TAKE A WALK AWAY.

This whole scene feels awkward.

Oh damn her face flattened out like whoa. She mad.

Was it Eternity? That warped him...?

What's with the car...?

Also, ….Ok, toga. Car Pyramid too.

Also, is Akio...hm. Oddly Passive? Hm.

Give her a present, say it's from me, and god damnit akio please stop being weird for like 10 seconds.

What's with the carrot in his pocket.

Earrings? Jessu wakaba.

...Wait, was this to tilt TOGA? But why would that do it?

Prince Mystique. I think this shit was actually supposed to til him.

I think Akio actually fucking played Touga. HE THOUGHT THEY WERE PARTNERS AND YOU GOT PLAYED!

Yeah, Touga is fucking TILTED.

He looks so put off right now. Like he's...off. He's off in a way the others haven't been.

Saionji here reading him like a book. Jesus Saionji is tearing him a new one.

Used people like tools and it made you strong IN THE PAST.

Shadow Girls? Feels super early, but it's the second half of the episode. But what's the deal with fish...Oh, fish in the sea. Girls exist to be exploited? Huh...Toga I guess....A Mermaid? Oh, a fish and a personality

LEFT THE BED. OH NO. The earrings. Also, I dislike the soft lovely lovey dovey shading here. Just feels...like liesssssssssssss

Anthy.

He thinks he won the game. He wants her to be a princess.

A princess who will revolutionze the world.

Oh Shit the elevator! It's been too long.

Is it the bros time?

Never come out of this coffin. Is everyone dead here?

Saionji: YOU LOVE HER BRO?

TOUGA: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Final Letter? Hm..Why the play? But I'm making this call. Akio's not actually end of the world?

Saionji: YOU SURE YOU WANNA BE LIKE HIM?

But for real dudes, why you strippin.

...Oh is chuchu a familiar? Or some part of anthy?

Anthy is not having it. AND SH what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK WE JUST GONNA IGNORE HER SPURTING INTO SWORDS?

Honestly, all of this is half making me wonder about the black rose arc cause it feels...mad out of place? It got excised from canon but...hm.

Episode 36

This yinyang shit is increasingly worrisome.

Elevator again? Also, how long has it been since we've seen the rest of the student council. And why does Touga think he needs to beat her to save her?

Hm....

Is the coffin (Coffins) Ohotori? Is this some weird purgatory? Would explain shadow seminar guy.

You sound sincere when you say that. IMPLYING HE DOESN”T THE REST OF THE TIME.

DON'T KISS AND LOOK ALL DREAMY FUCK YOU AKIO. FUCK YOU

WHY CANT THESE GUYS CLOSE A SHIRT?

Oh Stuco? Please be the heroes we need.

Juri: SOMETHING IS WRONG

Miki: WELL SHEIS A GIRL BUT...Uh...I mean that's good? Right? Something is off.

Oh Boy. Revolution TIME.

….What...what are they doing. What's with the  Bike...? Also, the metaphor shit makes me uh..Hm.

Touga: GETTING SECOND THOUGHTS.

Saionji tries to copy akio, and immediately shot down, shits dumb.

Shirt open utena? Copying princly(???) manners there.

Night Dueling...?

So...what's up Touga?

REAL STARS. SEEING REAL STARS FOR THE FIRST TIME!

And it shows the castle? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Man, touga realizing he fucked up but big.

I'm not sure if he's fucking around or for real right now. This is a cute as hell moment i'll grant, but suspect. Touga's got a history.

So he does care. Oh...So that's why he has to win. To keep her away from Akio? But...what's up with that.

...So is Saionji to Anthy as Touga is to Utena? Huh...?

Shadow Time...? Prince of the Horse and the Prince...uh...Hm.

Apocalypse time Hoo boy.

Huh. The Roses growing in anthy's clothes....I wonder if they're supposed to be sorta like...Swords? Analagous to Swords.

Touga and Saionji...Yeah I think that's a HARD ass confirm there. Wait oh my god really?????

That no budget though.

….Touga said he'd protect her and....EVERYTHING GOT REALLY FUCKING WEIRD. THE CARS. ANTHY

Oh man the cars are getting HOT wrecked.

Yo. YO GUYS THIS IS DOPE.

Are the cars the dudes/princes familiars...?

Is it over for us?

BEWARE THE ROSE BRIDE AND END OF THE WORLD

hoo boy. That's...a long ass pause there. And whispering akios name and YEESH SWORDS

oh god is it happening? Oh god it might be happening.

OH FUCK IT HAPPENED. AND SHE LOOKS BROKEN AS SHIT RIGHT NOW.

Utena is...uh...not here right now.

Nanami was RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME. TRIFLING AS HELL AS SHE WAS SHE WAS RIGHT.

ALSO BLUE HAIR AND JURI MIRROR UTENA AND TOUGA OK GOT IT. Shiori is Anthy then I guess.

Utena don't you know how much i've despised you? HOLY SHIT

Episode 37

Hey, Hey, Utena. SHITS FUCKED. ITS HIS FAULT.

DON'T TAKE THE RING OFF OH FUCK. She remembers. Oh boy. Ohhhhhhhhboy.

Only realizing how many fake ass stars are in the apartment.

Anthy is acting more robotic than usual.

Forgive Me! Chuchu.

Oh, the Rose bundle has the whole set of colors don't it. Yep. Orange, green, blue, yellow, red.

End of the World doesn't want things to change?

You two just gonna...just gonna admit how close you are. Touga. Saionji.

Anthy can hear the car noises. If you can still hear it.

GOD I HATE THIS MAN SO MUCH.

Anthy on her mind.

No star mention huh. Stars don't interest him....Hm.

Only place you can see stars are in Anthy and Utena's room.

Is this the first time we've seen utena in red?

….I JUST realized how immensely creepy this picture taking thing is from Akio. Somehow.

Anthy: My brother loves you as well miss utena.

Oh she's fucking up the ball game.

I love this life, I hope our feelings stay the same between the three of us.

Well fucking up the ballgame is off. But falling out the pattern. Never a good sign.

Juri and Miki to the rescue?

Utena is chosen to bring the world revolution. And she doesn't...want it. Been playing prince..So you could make yourself a prince.

Juri: What're you gonna do about anthy. You love her right. You...You know that right?

Nanami to the rescue. YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TRICKED YOU MORONS. STAY AWAY FROM AKIO AND ANTHY.

Nanami is a good girl, if a bit of a bitch..

Kozue watching like a hawk.

Miki: Hey I'm a bit in love with you.

Juri: COINCIDENCE?

Duel for her huh. HUH?

Shadow Girls...Why aliens crashing into the tower?

Utena's the Actress here. Shadow Girls OTP. Only one girl can be chosen at the audition.

So, a taste of the princess life?

Hoo boy...Why does he look so fucking angry. Also Anthy with the uh...weirdly sexual pains there.

What do you wanna do in the future Anthy?

Cantarella. A Deadly Poison. Why...are you just bringing that up. Poisoned Tea and cookies...huh?

What's with the record skip.

BOTH OF US TOGETHER 10 YEARS FROM NOW. Yes it would be nice. Just...Just ask her out utena. Please.

...Why are you on the ledge Anthy. uh...Is this a suicide HO SHIT.

I just can't go on. Anthy just...legit tried to kill herself? She just tried to kill herself.

Devoted to true friendship? A gullible fool?

Anthy. You can still turn back huh. Ring On. Prince Mode Engaged. Let's just fucking go.

Episode 38

APOCALYPSE AT THE START? UH. UH PATTERN BREAK? Uh...Shit.

Last two eps, now is the time I guess.

Hold Hands in the face of the End of the World. Let's goooooo

So...That's Dios. And Akio in front. So they're not the same person. For sure.

The Castle where a prince and princess will live together happily

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO ANTHY JESSU CHRIST THAT WAS SCARY.

Rose Bride Utena.Make her into a rose bride. Hit him utena.

Yes, what does happen to Anthy. Rose Bride forever. Swords for ever.

Oh are they building on the suicide thing? Please and thanks.

Oh anthy REALLY wants to die. Like she is not even trying to stay alive.

The Rose Bride, a doll with no heart, to be abused and used huh.

Anthy and Utena finally having a heart to heart.

...Kinda feel like they're talking past each other though?

TAKE BACK THE SWORD.

Dios on her side.

The Prince and Castle are illusions. So that include the school...?

Uh...Uh...the star gazing room? Planeterium, that's the word.

Akio's room is the tip top. Casts Illusions.

Is it so wrong? YES FUCKER JESUS.

YOU ARE AN ADULT YOU FUCK. ITS NOT POSSIBLE TO BE FAIR.

You never tried to understand anthy. Huh...

They are throwing so much here. Like god damn.

Akio claims

HELLAVATOR?

He's trying so hard to get that sword from Utena.

He's...crying?

JUST A WITCH.

OH GOD THE SHELL. ITS BEEN SO LONG!

Nanami too!?

Smash the Worlds shell....oh the end of the world.

The Revolution Duel Has Begun huh.

Akio with his off brand Utena Outfit.

Real Combat huh?

Akio is REFUSING to explain himself. Which is markedly different since he's the only adult here.

I'm Gonna be a Prince...Oh shit is this the duel opening shot. Illusory construct. Oh boy. Oh boy that shit was literal wasn't it.

Anthy...? She looks uh...Not Ok.

Akio isn't though. He's looking uh...Bad too.

ANTHY? ANTHY?! WHAT TU FUCK? THATS HOW YOU END THE EPISODE?!

HOW YOU GONNA STAB UTENA LIKE THAT?

EPISODE 39

uh...pattern breaking again. Where's the opening. Last time to break a pattern I guess. Chance to.

FUCKING STABBED HER! WHY.

You remind me of Dios. But you can never be my prince cause you're a girl.

uh.

Uhhhhhhh.

The Duel Named Revolution. Utena is...Her Their Representative.? She's their Rep.

A boy saved juri's sister, and died. They can't recall his name. Uh...hm.

Y'all just gonna have corn cookin though.

Anthy....?

Do you hate what i've become? Why is he crying?

Y'all just gonna leave Utena dying.

His knowledge is absolute. He chose this path. Claims to love her. FUCK HIM UP.

He couldn't win with his sword, so he stole utenas.

UTENA HANGIN ON.

Stubborn and reckless hero. A taste of true friendship.

OH FUCK THATS A LOT OF SWORDS

Shine with with human hatred. Summoned and deflected by Utena's sword?

HEY HEY WAIT A SECOND. THE FIRST SWORD THAT STRUCK HER IS DIOS/AKIOS. HEY WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE.

Takes the sword in place of the prince. Destiny of the Rose bride huh. And he's sitting here saying she chose this? YOU TALKED HER INTO IT ASSHOLE.

AND HE CAN'T EVE DO IT WITH THE SWORD HE WANTED SO BADLY.

So...Dios...Again. Through the door eternity, and the power to change things. Well damn fuck dios too.

It's interesting that Dios is presented as a powerful figure, but is ultimately pretty impotent here. He holds absolute power but cannot act? HUH.

Broke her sword huh.

Akio: I COULDn'T DO IT SO YOU CAN'T EITHER. FUCKING DUMBASS

Utena; FUCKING TRY ME. THIS SHIT IS GOIN DOWN.

Oh, friend pointed it out. Roses are all her color.

No power, you can't do anything. Just be dependent.

Utena: FUCK OFF. FUCK THIS DOOR. ANTHY

HAVENTS SEEN THIS SHIT IN A WHILE!

And the swords stopped.

Just realized how childish the prince is...

Oh hey a coffin. And her hands are bloody.

Oh...I think HES gonna have to deal with these swords now.

It's anthy in the coffin. Of course. Tracks.

Don't be afraid of the world says baby Utena. Word.

AT LAST WE MEET!? Yeah that tracks. That. Yeah. She's not being the rose bride. She's being Anthy.

TAKE HER HAND ANTHY GODDAMNIT

While i'm thinking, the whole edifice of end of the worlds power broke down.

Someday together. Uh. Uhhhhhh. Hey. Hey wait a minute.

HEY NO THATS NOT COOL. In the end I couldn't be a prince. Forgive me.

The Swords are...Uh...Utena. UTENA! oh..oh shit.

Wakaba. Hero.

Shadow Girls gonna be an actress. 10 year reunion.

Who was Utena again...? uh.. Utena Hopitalized? Uh...Hey wait a second.

Everyone seems to be..going on.

They're all forgetting she ever existed.

He really doesn't realize what happened.

She vanished from your world. Huh.

Oh hey she's in utena's colors. Well maybe her colors.

I SWEAR I'LL FIND YOU. HEY WAIT.

Hey Final frame Utena and Anthy. ALRIGHT.

MAY THIS ROSE REACH YOU.

NOW THE MOVIE

Revolutionary Girl Utena The Adolescence of Utena

Ok, so this isn't the movie proper, just the dvd thing, but Man Anthy looks super. She looks actually kinda confident and active and alive I guess?

Anyway, I'm going into this assuming it's some kind of sequel. I'm looking for that anyway. Whether it's true uh..We'll see.

HERE WE GO

Anthy and Akio on the tower? And now Just Anthy. At the toppest point where things were controlled right?

….what the fuck is this geometry.

Music still slaps.

I'm sure those pictures were supposed to mean something but fuck if I know what.

...What the hell.

Utena!? SHORT HAIR SHARP DRESSED!

Wakaba! Utena being the charmingest though.

On Air? Shadow Girl Radio! Listen Carefully!

This academy is castelvania.

Shadow girls: Dumped again? Rain on her parade? Huh.

Utena's Pavlor Instincts: PRINCE?! PRINCE WHERE!?

Budget yo. Miki and Juri though man. Juri's not a bad choice for prince.

Juri has like 8 times as much hair. Like Damn. Your Rival

Hey it's Touga! Utena is SHOOK

...The Rose Thing is BUSTED.  Just straight wrecked. The Garden. That's the word.

Hey touga what's with the spooky ghost bullshit.

HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN SINCE WE LAST MET.

I didn't come here looking for you. Surprised you're here.

I'll live with high goals.

More of a pink rose really. Unfurls to reveal...the ring? Huh. Rose Rain now.

Oh...That's DEFFINITELY the highest place in the academy. Structurally uh...uh.......

The Rose Gate looks fucked up. Oh that's a lot of roses. Didn't anthy say something about tending roses...?

Are you not afraid? Anthy looks...really happy. Her hair is down.

I'm the only one captive to the roses. Why'd you come here?

Why'd you come to this academy? And Anthy stopped when she saw the ring. And kinda freaked out.

How do you know about that. Heyyyyyyyyyyy. Saionji.

Rose brides symbol. She's holding that pink/white flower pretty tight though.

Anthy just...kinda went back into robo mode there. And she's not...precisely feeling the ring thing.

Meanwhile, that gate effect.

Do you have a sword? (you know nothing. Last chance to take it off please.)

Utena. A broom ain't a sword, but yeah fuck him up. Ain't worse than what you.

Anthy slap count. But she's active here. She's being a person here unlike before which is.

Anthy is covering her ears.

You're the one who doesn't understand. Is there any girl who's happy to be treated like a possession.

I NEVER SAID THAT I WAS A BOY. FUCK OFF.

Anthy looking hopeful there. DIVE. YOU're NOT ALLOWED TO DUEL WITHOUT A SWORD.

And...Is this song from the original but better but....

Anthy and utena got back into the swing asap. Long Hair Utena returns. Prince Utena rather I guess.

GG Saionji.

PINK MOSTLY! ITS PINK MOSTLY! NOT RED. A LITTLE RED! OH MY GOD THIS MIGHT BE A LEGIT SEQUEL!? Kinda sorta. I'll have to explain myself later.

Touga and Utena are cute as kids. Look at em.

Anthy just...asserted herself.

I don't usually invite people to my room. And then you pull her onto your bed.

Mark of the rose, you know it don't you?

Uh...uh damn Anthy. She's just....straight up feeling up Utena. Looked shocked then certain.

Dreaming of the castle with the prince.

Kozue what are ...what's up with this room. Her prince drowned huh?

Probably the closest we'll get to duelist wakaba here.

Also trying to win her. Well I guess you could say he's here for the dueling.

Hey, Touga don't kiss and tell.

These two are...oddly friendly.

Touga, don't talk to Akio. It's never good.

Calling her a witch.

Prince was a lord of the flies. The witch turned them into a prince.

Wait, not Kozue, that was shiori.

KOZUE, just put a knife to her brothers throat. OK.

Uh...Sold to your father...? Where's nanami though. Calling him a customer makes this uh...infinitely skeeziesr.

Wow Shiori seems a bit uh...

Oh yeah, that's no good. Goddamn poor touga.

Touga: I will win. But I can't be cruel to Juri. High goals man.

This darkness leads to the end of the world....And Dios being a goddamn Cryptid.

The Revolution will begin soon.

Miki: My wish is to obtain more power.

Juri: I want power to be free. To be unconstrained.

Touchy Juri is cool. Big Big Sister Energy there.

Shiori being MAD damicky right now. Trifling. Just absorb Nanami or something?

Miki: Free from Constraints. I get it. Yeeeeeee.

Anthy Please step away from the edge. And you just flash stepped to the center. ok.

Utena is WAY more expressive here too.

“There is no prince” That's...pretty chilling coming from utena actually. And Anthy is so damn touchy feely.

Uh. Uhhhhhhh. ok. Axe antics.

But not in utena which is a step up.

Ooh the ground is mad pretty.

And the starrrs. YoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anthy! Looking mad gentle and sweet here. Duelist Utena! And Rose Bride Anthy!

Oh shit. This dance scene is...And it's their reflections .

NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME PASSES DON'T FORGET THTA PROMISE. IVE COME ALL THIS WAY AT LAST!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE LIGHT IS ALWAYS SHINING!

THEIR EXPRESSIOSN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Oh it's the oninon boy.

Draw Each Other huh! eyebrow waggle

Anthy where the hell are you going.What the. And it's the tower huh.

It's just an obvservation room now though huh. Or in this version.

Anthy, smiles when she takes off the ring. SEQUEL VIBE INCREASES.

Anthy, is unquestionably the one in charge this movie. Compared to before. She's way more impish.

Like...How the hell did you talk her into posing nude exactly?

Utena. Utena are you asking her to strip- ANTHY!

Uh what's that sound. WHAT ARE THESE PICTURES? Uh...Uh...wait what's up with the anthy here.

Ok, so Akio/dios being a weirdo again....and there is a fucking hole in her chest. A big honking hole.

SHADOW TIMES:...

Is...Is that nanmi. There's Chuchu and nanami yep, ok. OK. Oh it's the three dudes too.

You had limitless budget and you put this shit in.

...What the fuck was that though. Crocodile kun.

Hey Akio looking...Cool as usual. But is he still awful?

Record skips. Great.

Did he roofie his sister.

Hey fuck that noise WE DUEL NOW

VS JURI

...People can SEE them dueling?

What's with Shiori though.

Juri once again, being a boss. Also, I just noticed that all of their outfits have gotten an upgrade.

...Miki what do you mean who is Touga.

Juri is...WAY madder about her pretending to princedom than before.

Dios Overlay. And Anthy seemed shocked.

…....A Dead Akio. And he was buried under the ground. And Anthy looked...kinda...pissed.

Anthy killed Akio. And Shiori? Out here pulling shit?

...Oh Akio thought she was asleep when he pulled his shit. Hoooooboy.

Oh the interview room. Shadow room?

Akio freaking the fuck out and he killed her.

And he's dead. Pretty pathetically actually.

Deffo the shadow seminar. Hellavator!

...Touga?

So castle showed up when she killed her brother.

Is...Touga dead.

They keep going back to this drowning kid.

Hero Touga. The Touga we deserve.

Well he died in water and not fire, so...Go him. Seemed pretty chill about it.

I finally found you utena. Power of miracles as long as you stay here.

Pull the sword out and just put that shit back in.

Let's get the fuck out of here-CARRED

TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD

Best version of the Apocalypse song, but why a fucking carwwash. Who thought this made sense. It's DOPE to look at but like damn man.

Utena makes a DOPE car though. Like that shit looks awesome. SHES RUSTING  ANTHY. PUT THE KEY IN HER.

Shadow Radio! Hot Damn, Kage OS looks DOPE.

They're all pink haired shadow gals. Which is neat.

Wacky Races Yo.

BIG MISTAKE THINKING YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TURN INTO A CAR.

Only one who escapes this world. The only one who deserves it is beautiful me. Well...Rip Shiori.

OH ITS THE SWORDS. THEY'RE THE SWORDS.

Ok, this makes CONSIDERABLY more sense if you think of it as a sequel I think.

Needs help? Stuco Squad is there for youuuuuuuuu.

Or at least those who remain.

….WAKABA IS THE JEEP!?

Saionji: I have your back. And when we get to the outside world, I will be there to seduce. The fucking dork.

Oh hey it's the castle making what I must assume is it's last appearance....Oh that's ominous. Das big.

THAT OPENING THEME YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Still freaking weird, but Shadow Girls got your back..

HYE THATS CHEATING!

Oh hey, it's everyone's favorite dickhead.

Where you can be a living corpse.

You can only be a prince in that world.

Goodbye brother, you are no longer my prince.

Hey Akio, how is it you're still the worst.

The balancing act there is crazy like damn you two.

Shadow Girls no more! But we'll miss you.

Anthy Himemiya and Utena Tenjou as the Shadow Girls huh.

Man, the real world looks like shit. (?real World?)

The logistics of it aside, that's a hell of a cool shot.

Return to the outside world we're from. Explore and make the world bigger. Ok. Ok. I get you.

Also. That made LESS sense with context.