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yanderemommabean · 4 years

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A really dumb comfort scenario by Mommabean

Dabi x Reader fluff stuff

Dabi never used to see himself as a night owl. Standing out as the skies turn from a pleasant purple to a dark shade of black speckled with bright stars wasn’t something he saw himself enjoying, not until a few months ago when fate decided he needed to meet someone worth staying out late with.

Usually he prefers to just stay inside and do his own thing, be that scrolling through memes or simply just listening to music while he turns the lights off and drifts into his mind for a few hours. On rare occasions he’ll spend time with friends, but it drains him considerably and he has to recharge his battery afterwards.

It doesn’t mean he hates them, he’s just not a person with a lot of energy, but he knows people take it personally. Which can’t really be helped as he isn’t the best with words on explaining why he does what he does, honestly he doesn’t even know.

Typically his weeks goes like this - working with assholes who act like siblings rather than coworkers, then wanting to unwind as soon as he gets home because if he doesn’t he’ll snap or possibly have a mental break. Which probably already happened considering where he is now, but another break isn’t something to want to happen either.

But Dabi was forced out one night a few months back by Toga, who he can’t say no to often as she’s like a little sister and he adores her as such, and was dragged practically to a restaurant for drinks and food as a way to celebrate their hard work. Even Shigaraki got a stick out of his ass for a hangout, so he supposed he could suck it up for their sake.

Leave it to his soft heart to make him torture his own antisocial ass. However, this time he was seemingly gifted, as he heard laughter from across the room and saw you, giggling and almost snorting as you covered your face at the ridiculous joke a friend made. You looked absolutely precious, for lack of a better word. Not a care in the world as you laughed and giggled so hard you lost your breath.

He was drawn to the brightness you added to the dull restaurant, vaguely paying attention to the conversation his own group was having as you peaked his interest. Dabi figures he was being too obvious with his staring, as you looked over and met his gaze directly, but instead of flipping him off and acting like a full Karen, you waved and gave a shy smile.

That kinda hurt to not see that pretty smile. You’ve hidden it the entire time he’s been watching you, as if you hated it. Well, he’s got a plan for that, just you wait. He’ll get you to smile for him, just give him time. He remembers how he managed to greet you, both of you talking and surprisingly having a lot in common.

A total mindfuck to find out an adorable, fluffy person like you was into murder documentaries, scary stories, horror films, and loved to study obscure and odd mysteries. Color him pleasantly surprised. You two kept chatting away after the awkward ice was broken, to the point your friends were getting a bit pissy and telling you to hurry up to leave.

Fuck ‘em. He didn’t like them then and he doesn’t like them now. Out of spite he wanted to ask you for a drink so he could drag out the conversation longer, but he didn’t need to make a bad impression or make Shigaraki think he was pulling something. Which again, was fair, he was known for pulling some stupid shit every now and again.

Months. It’s been months and he hasn’t gotten tired of meeting you and being around you. You’ve had your arguments sure, had your moments where you and him were a bit tense, but that didn’t deter anything. Hell, you two have nicknames for one another now, and he allows you to play with his hair every now and again. He doesn’t let anyone get that close except Toga, you should be a little honored. Nothing is ever getting rid of him if you two are this close already.

It’s still baffling. Months! And all this time, you still hid that pretty smile. The very thing that drew him too you in the first place. What do you have to be ashamed of? Besides your search history, absolutely nothing! Dabi sighs as he sits on the steps outside of his apartment, looking up to the night sky, waiting for you to answer on if you wanted to hangout or not. Either way he began to enjoy this new sight, this addition to his schedule was something he looked forward to more than his late night music sessions.

He was about to text you again, thumb hovering over the keyboard as he thought of what to say, but three dots appear and he decides to wait and see. You, being the sweetheart you are, tell him to wait and that you’ll meet him in ten. A warm feeling fills his chest again knowing you’d be here. It’s been happening a lot lately actually, and he’s not an idiot. He knows he likes you, he’s just never liked someone to this extent. Should he be embarrassed? Excited? Happy? Who the hell knows. All he knows is he would do anything for you, and his feelings towards you are only growing.

Dabi flicks his phone off after a minute and looks around, waiting for you to show up. While scanning the area, he heard frantic steps coming up the sidewalk that were approaching fast, in a panic. He jumps up to his feet to see who could be running his way, more curious than in the mood to save someone.

However, seeing you with tears running down your face wasn’t at all what he expected. He felt rage and worry surge through him, an almost animal like possessiveness took over him and the idea that something happened makes him sick with anger. His body moves without him thinking, his arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly, listening to your shaking sobs as you cling to him and begin to apologize.

“Hey- hey what happened?!” He asked sternly, sounding more pissed than worried, cringing slightly at his tone. Smart move asshole, make them feel even worse. Genius.

You stutter and begin to try and talk, but your throat is tight and your eyes are still pouring like waterfalls. You shake your head and clench your eyes shut again, burying your face into his chest as your knuckles turn white from gripping his sleeves for dear life. Dabi tensed, breath hitching as you hugged him tightly and began to shudder and weep into him.

Hands gently rub your back as he slowly walks with you, guiding you to the steps he was just at to help you sit down and get yourself together. “Who’s ass do I need to kick?”.

You giggle at that, wiping your eyes as you shake your head playfully “No ones Dabi...I’ve just been feeling super fucking depressed and stressed out because of work and I feel I have no time for myself anymore and...well I just needed to be with someone who understands”.

He was touched that you saw him as someone you could come too. Seriously have you seen him? He’s the worlds most selfish asshole! He can’t even trust himself half the time, especially when it comes to bothering people and pulling pranks. You might wanna reconsider who you’re trusting there.

Although hearing no one hurt you was calming, he was still worried for your wellbeing.

“I get it. I mean I’m not the best with comforting but I understand what you mean. It’s frustrating as hell not even having time to rest, and then having to head back to work for nine hours or more over and over...it ain’t easy”. He rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, already feeling the anxiety over his schedule for tomorrow.

Sniffling softly, you nod and scoot closer to him, his warmth soothing and comforting compared to the chilling winds of the night. “Yeah. And it doesn’t stop for decades. I’ll never have free time again or I’ll always feel tired and drained and I hate it”.

Now that’s not necessarily true, but he knows where you’re coming from. Every day lately seems like such a struggle, he knows it all too well. It was clear you needed more than to vent and rant, and he has just the thing to help the mood. “It’s not all that monotonous. I think you’re just overwhelmed and need a break. Wanna come in? I think we both need a drink and a few laughs”.

You fiddle with your hands a bit, looking down at your feet with lips pursed in thought. “I can stay the night?”. What kind of question is that? Seriously what kind of question?! You literally just cried into his shirt no problem, now you’re worried about personal space? “Dude, you really have to ask? Stay a fucking week if you want, just get your ass inside before I drag you in” he jokes.

You look away as you smile, standing up and dusting off your legs before heading into his apartment behind him. Maybe tonight he’ll get you to stop hiding that smile, to bring those walls down even more and let him show how amazing you are in his eyes. Just maybe.

((This was bad I know I know I just needed a way to vent -Mommabean))

#dabi x reader #bnha #yandere fluf #mha #Mommabean #yandere scenarios #i guess #yandere imagines #not really tho hes just falling in love #yandere dabi #yandere bnha

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rainecreatesstuff · 4 years

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LAMP Soulmate AU Bulletfic thing

Word Count: 2569

TW: Mentions and implications of abuse, mentions of anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, mentions and implications of death + illness

They’re all connected in different ways

Virgil is connected to Patton through that thing where marks on your soulmate’s skin appear of yours too

Roman through a thing where on your eleventh birthday at 11:11pm a name will pop into your head and wow its your soulmate’s

And Logan through the string thing

Roman is connected to Patton through a timer on his wrist

And Logan through a tattoo-like mark on your wrist that says your soulmate’s first words to you

Logan and Patton are connected through a soulmark (A tattoo or raised pattern on your skin that is also on your soulmate)

Patton is blind

so in this au different soulmarkers develop at different ages

So when V’s little he’s super excited to meet his sm, bc his parents are soulmates and everything he’s seen abt them is so sweet and exciting!

He turns six and doesn’t develop a timer, which is what he was hoping for

But that’s ok! There are tons of other soulmarkers!

And then he doesn’t develop a soulmark when he’s seven

Or a sentence on his wrist when he’s eight

And he can see colours

So he’s starting to get nervous

And hey! Mom’s sick, and in the hospital, and she’s just not doing too swell

But then when he turns nine, a beautiful red string has been tied around his ring finger when he wakes up!

And wow! Mom look, I have a soulmate! Just like you and daddy!

And then a few months later he’s doing his homework at the kitchen table and the string goes limp before shriveling up and turning black

The doctors have no explanation, and V’s anxiety has really started to kick in

Mom doesn’t seem to be getting better either

So when he turns ten, he is fully aware that this is probably his last chance to develop a soulmarker

He writes on his forearm the night before his birthday

It says “Hey, I’m V! I guess we’re soulmates?”

When he wakes up there’s nothing new

Which is fine! Because that means his sm is probably in the same time zone as him!

But then he keeps waiting and

Nothing

Nothing for a week.

Eventually his dad convinces him to wash it off

Then on his eleventh birthday he knows how uncommon a soulname connection is, but he needs to try

So it’s 11:10 and he’s sitting at his desk with a marker ready to write it down and then-

Roman Prince

Roman prince? What do you mean Roman prince? That’s not a name! What the hell?!

So he’s really sad and anxious and stuff because he doesn’t have a soulmate and, yknow, that’s kinda upsetting for him

And hey, your mom really isn’t doing too well, we have to visit her after school, okay?

At first Virgil doesn’t understand why mom’s being so dramatic or why she keeps telling him she loves him

Then it hits him

And now he’s sobbing and hugging her and shaking and he can’t breathe he can’t breathe he can’t breathe

Fun fact! Turns out this is a regular thing and he has really bad anxiety.

And mom has been put in a medically induced coma

So a year later dad decides to pull the plug

Virgil’s anxiety has gotten really bad

He’s just not in a good place

High school goes by without much happening

Now he’s going to university! How exciting and stressful!

Roman, too, was entranced by the idea of soulmates. His parents aren’t soulmates, but they encourage his excitement about them!

And when he turns six, he develops a timer on his wrist! Score! What a romantic way to meet the love of your life!

Or friend of your life

His moms are so excited for him! They get him new paints and take him out to dinner to celebrate.

And then he wakes up on his eighth birthday to words on his right wrist

It says “If you could stop talking, it would be vastly appreciated.”

He’s a little pissed

His moms take him to the doctor bc “wtf why does he have TWO soulmarkers?!”

The answer is that he has two soulmates

It’s uncommon, but possible

So while he is ecstatic and ready to parade his soulmarkers around the school, his moms are a little less happy and a little more worried

They may have made the suggestion that he wears long sleeves most days, those ones that he hates because they will not roll up

But he did what they asked because they’re his moms, and he loves them very much

And then a few years later on his birthday he’s typing up a short story for school

It’s due the next day so he’s rushing through it a little bit

It’s still amazing

But anyways, he’s writing, and he suddenly just gets the name “Virgil Miller” stuck in his head

He doesn’t think anything of it bc he’s writing and that’s normal

He ends up naming the main character Virgil

Logan grows up in a bit of a run-down part of town

His Mami and Dad are soulmates (he doesn’t think they should be)

They fight a lot, and sometimes Dad’ll hurt Mami, especially at night when they think he’s asleep

And he’s heard Mami on the phone with his Tia, talking about court cases? And laws, and soulmates?

Needless to say, he isn’t all too enamoured with the idea of soulmates

When he’s seven he gets a soulmark, some bumps over his heart, which is a little distressing

He’s never met this person, but he’s supposed to spend his whole life with them?

He’s very scared that his soulmate will be like Dad

And then he develops the words “Bold of you to assume I can stop talking” on his right wrist

And then a string when he’s nine.

He doesn’t tell his parents about any of them. “Soulless” people existed, and he knew his Mami was hoping he was one of them.

And then later that year Mami sits him down and tells him that she’s going to live with his Tia until she can find her own apartment, and that she and Dad aren’t together anymore

Logan cries for a while, and tells her about all the things he’s heard, and the bruises he’s seen, and begs to go with her

Mami says she was hoping he would

His Dad finds out the day before they leave and he hits Logan

Multiple times

And when his Mami steps in, Dad scowls and yells and stomps away and Mami picks Logan up and they run to the car and leave

When they get to his Tia’s he hides in the guest bedroom they said is his and he takes a pair of scissors and

Snip snip, he’s 33% more “soulless”

He steals Mami’s concealer and puts it on his wrist everyday to cover the words there

The only one he doesn’t cover is the soulmark on his chest, which he almost never sees because of his shirt

Whenever anyone asks, he just tells them he’s soulless

He tries not to get too close to people, but he usually fails and so he has a very small, very tight friend group

Oh also he’s a grade ahead of his year

Patton’s family is very well off

He’s the oldest of four brothers

He’s trans, but his family is v supportive and helped him transition as soon as they found out

His service dog’s name is Cookie and she’s a golden retriever

He’s had her since he was eleven, and he loves her very much

Because he’s blind there’s certain things he didn’t know about growing up

For example, nobody told him about soulmates until he was nine

Which really explains the weird ticking he hears every once in a while, as well as the strange, tiny bumps on his chest (which spell out “Loved” in Braille)

He doesn’t think about it too often, but he’d be lying if the idea didn’t entrance him

He didn’t think he’d ever meet his soulmates, though, and if he did, he wasn’t sure they’d want the responsibility of a blind soulmate

On the day he turns ten, there’s this little tickling on his forearm, like butterflies gently taking off on him

He doesn’t really think anything of it, though

Despite being blind, Patton is super capable

He can’t cook by himself, but if he’s supervised he does a really good job. He’s the most prepared for “real life” out of his siblings, which is strange, considering he’s the oldest

He goes to public school, where most kids are really nice (sometimes antagonistically nice), but there were also some rude kids

“You don’t really need that walking stick, you’ve got a dog, and we need it to play our game!”

The amount of times he’s had to explain that no you dumbass I do still need the stick is ridiculous

But he keeps a smile on his face and forges through it

And then in grade eleven Roman’s studying in the hallway when he sees some kid being bullied

Well, not bullied, but definitely teased. Something was wrong, anyways

He’s been on edge all day because his timer keeps going down

But he’s not really thinking about it rn

So he goes over and gets the idiots to leave and

Holy hell did heaven drop an angel? They must have, because look at this boy with his golden hair and tanned skin and freckles and

Beep beep motherfucker. It’s soulmate o’clock

And Roman is just so happy

“H-hey, I’m Roman!” “Oh, hi, I’m Patton! Did... did your timer go off?” “Uh yeah! It did!”

And Patton

Just grins so wide and there’s tears, and he leaps up and hugs Roman so tight

And Roman is so freaking happy!!!! He asks Patton for his contact because duh and Pat’s like

“Uhhh well I can’t text”

“Why?”

“..... I’m blind?” “OHHHHHHH”

So they figure they can talk over the phone because Patton does have a phone for calling

So they have a cute first date and they fall in love and everything’s good and dandy and Roman’s going to college but Patton’s found this real nifty job that just so happens to be right next to Roman’s college so they move in together and Patton knows about Roman’s other sm and Roman knows about Patton’s other sm

And Roman’s in a lecture now

And he didn’t really notice but he’s been muttering

And he’s just kinda sitting there when he hears it from the guy next to him

So he looks up and here’s this ethereal looking dude with gorgeous brown eyes and dark hair and

“Bold of you to assume I can stop talking.”

He curses every known god for making his first words to his soulmate be a meme

They excuse themselves from class because holy shit

And Logan introduces himself shakily

And Roman asks for his number

And they go on a date where Roman tells him about Patton and Logan mentions having a soulmark over his heart

Logan is really hesitant to join their relationship bc he was hoping he would never meet his soulmates

So they don’t put a label on it right away

But they go on a few dates and hang out a bunch and Logan realizes that he actually really, really likes these guys and he doesn’t really want to live the rest of his life without them

So he talks to them and tells them about some of the stuff that happened when he was a kid

Roman and Patton are horrified but they hug him and promise that they will never lay a finger on him if he asks them not to

And Logan just has a moment of “These guys love me. Like actually love me. And want me to be happy. And I think I feel the same?”

So on their next date Logan asks both of them to be his boyfriends and obviously they say yes

And basically they’re just all really in love

They move into a bigger apartment together at the beginning of year two

So then they’re all cuddling one day when Logan tells them about his string

And so the other two are like “oh shit is there another???”

And Roman says that on his eleventh birthday he just suddenly had this name pop into his head but he just assumed he’d wanted the name for a character so

And Patton says that after getting his soulmark AND a timer he didn’t think to check for anything else

So they’re all kinda like well whoops let’s hope we still meet them!

And Patton’s at his job one day when this guy walks in and he’s one of the new employees

Pat’s got his seeing eye doggo with him but the vest is off cuz they’re both on break

And so V’s like “oh cool dog can I pet him?”

Bc usually he would never just go up and ask but he literally can’t stop himself because here’s this adorable dude in front of him and the universe is screeching at him to say hi

And Pat hears his voice and immediately falls in love

“Oh, yea sure! She’s my eye dog, but she’s on break so it’s all good!”

And V meets Pat and his dog

And they end up exchanging numbers because they are coworkers and well

Yknow

So a couple days later, after him and Patton have been talking a lot, Pat invites him over

So V goes over and meets Roman and Logan

And he hears Roman’s name and

Holy shit

And of course Roman is also freaking out because the name Virgil just really hasn’t left his head since he thought of it

So yknow

Logan’s a little unsure, but then the two get talking about astronomy and he doesn’t care if they’re not soulmates he is going to marry this guy

And they all get really close really fast

And then one day Virgil offhandedly mentions the string thing

And Logan freezes and just

Shows V his right ring finger, where they can both see this rotting string that’s still tied tight around it and

Fuck V can’t breathe are you kidding? right now?

So they help ground him, and Logan explains everything

And Roman tells him what’s up

But they’re not really sure how he’s connected to Patton but then he just

Grabs a marker and draws a heart on his hand and

It’s right there on Patton’s hand holy s h i t

So they take Virgil on a date and stuff and they make it official

And Virgil’s a little nervous bc like those three have been together for a while now and he feels like he’s intruding

But he talks to Logan and L understands bc Roman and Patton had been dating for 2+ years when he found them

He promises that V is not intruding and that they all really love him

And Virgil just full on starts crying because he hasn’t felt this loved since before his mom died and he loves his bfs so much

They find their bfs and just cuddle all night

Virgil moves in with the rest of them at the beginning of third year

They get their happily ever after for the most part

Hopefully y’all liked this! I think I’ll be posting more writing on here, bc I have TONS of wips stacked up in a google docs and I’d like to get them out of there lmao

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julessworldd · 4 years

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I love them Poly!Guns x reader

I seen where someone wanted more Poly!Guns, so you asked so you shall recieve. Who doesn’t love Poly!guns anyways.

Summary: The reader’s mom and sister show up unannounced, planning on taking the reader back home. Tabloids showed up her in her hometown, the family was worried about her in LA. I always wondered how Poly realtionships work when telling the parents, so here’s my take on it.

Warnings: The boys being protective, silly with the reader. Cussing, arguing, implied smut. Think that’s all, sorry if I missed any

I moved to L.A. the day after graduation from high school, and had been saving money since I was 13. Living in a small town Colorado, where you’ve gone to school with the same kids since Elementary school, becoming a townie scared me. Since then, I’ve not talked to my family that much. I met the boys one night after a show, Izzy bumped into me while walking down the strip. We all became friends and then our little thing started, we dated each other. It had been a thing for two almost three years now, I loved every minute of it, and loved my boys as well.

Duff and I were making breakfast as slowly each boy came down, pissed that they had to start their day. “Did you open that one envelope? Looked like it was from home”, Duff asked. “I’m not sure how they found me. I’ve not gave them my new address”, I laid eggs on a plate. “Why don’t you talk to them anymore?”, Duff asked again. “Just don’t. I’m the black sheep of the family, babe. I never wanted to stay in Colorado,work on the family ranch or get pregnant with a shitty high school football player. They didn’t like it so I left after graduating.”, I said. “I’m glad you left”, Izzy passed by us. “I’m not saying I’m not glad she left, but it’s weird that the envelope has stayed on the counter, unopened”, Duff said. “Fine, I’ll open it after I eat and shower”, I groaned. I know Duff was only being nice, but I didn’t like hearing from my family. There was knock on the door, “Come in”, I said, sliding into some black skinny jeans. “Hey”, Duff said, shutting the door behind him. “You’re really determined to have me open that aren’t you, baby”, I smirked. “Yes. It could be a death in the family and you wouldn't know it”, Duff stubbed up. “Alright”, I slides my finger under the seal and opened the envelope.

Jacqueline Bennett

It was my mom’s name and my childhood home’s address. “What the hell do you want?”, I groaned. The doorbell rung, “You expecting anyone?”, I asked Duff. He shook his head no. “Y/nn!”, Slash yelled. I dropped the letter on the dresser and headed downstairs. “Think it’s you with the visitor babe”, Duff said, following suit. “Who knows”, I said. I made it downstairs, in the living. I looked up, it was my mom and older sister, Kelly standing in front of the door. “Mom. Kelly. What are you doing here?”, I swallowed. “We came to bring you home”, My mom said. “No, you’re not. I have a life here and did you forget I’m 24”, I said, crossing my arms across my chest.

The boys stayed silent, watching me and my mom go back and forth. Kelly was checking Izzy out. “I left for fucking reason and swore I would never move back. Leave mother!”, I ran upstairs, slamming my door.

Izzy’s pov-

Y/n’s mom and sister stood there in shock, tension was tight. I stood up from the couch, “I’ll go check on her” I reached her door, heard crying. “Y/n. It’s me, Iz”, I said. A little ‘come in’ was said, she was crying her eyes out before I walked in. “Hey baby. Wanna talk about it?”, I said, shutting the door, her back was turned to me. Y/n jerked up, “Why does she think I need to come back home? It’s hell there, Izzy. I’m overlooked there, they forget my name, if I’m sick or not. My siblings have families and have good careers, I have five siblings, I’m just the second middle kid. Please don’t let her take me back”, She cried. “We’re not gonna let her. You’re 24, you have your own life. Screw what your siblings have, you have us, friends, free travel when we’re on tour. They’re stuck in some hick town while you get to see the world, don’t worry about them. I’m not being mean, but they really don’t care. Just worried that you’re with five guys instead of one. It’s not their business how many people you date or have kids with, you’re an adult”, I said. Here lately every magazine has been exposing our relationship with each other. Y/n has been called a groupie, whore that can’t be satisfied by one guy. Guess it made it to Colorado.

Y/n calmed down and was sitting on my lap, brading a strand of my hair. “Think I’m gonna take them on the patio, I hate that you guys were stuck between it.”, Y/n said. “Okay, I’ll have Duff take them out. Give you a little more time”, I said, walking to the door. “Thanks. Hey Izzy?”, Y/n asked. “Yeah?”, I turned back at her. “I love you”, She smiled. “I love you too, princess”, I smirked. “Hey Duff”, I said, locking eyes with the tall blonde. “She okay?”, Duff started to worry. “Y/n asked if we could take her mom and sister to the patio. She wants to talk to them in private. Can you take them out there please?”, I asked. “Of course”, Duff said. I watched as Duff brought them through the kitchen and out to the patio. Y/n’s mom gave me the stank eye. “Izzy, are they out there?”, Y/n asked. “Yeah. You gonna be okay?”, Duff answered. “I think so. I love you, Duffy”, She kissed his cheek. “I love you too, Princess”, Duff kissed her lips. We both watched her go out there. “We’re not letting them take her back”, Duff said. “Oh hell no!” Axl and I said at the same time. “She won’t go down without a fight”, Slash said. “Okay, lets quit being peeping toms”, Duff said. We all went downstairs.

Y/n’s Pov

“Okay tell me how wrong I am being with them?, I sat down at the table. “Why are you with them? Do they pay you?”, My mom asked. “Because I love them very much, I feel safe and loved by my boys. No, I don’t get paid to have sex or whatever crazy ass thing you’re thinking”, I giggled. “Are you together or it’s a groupie thing?”, Kelly asked. “What’s a groupie?”, my mom asked. “Someone who has sex with a couple members of a band or the whole band. No strings attached, some have girlfriends or are even married. But when on the road, they get lonely and their girl isn’t there to you know?”, I said. “And Kelly, we’re together”, I said. “Okay, huh. What made you get into a relationship with them?”, Mom asked. “I don’t know, it just kinda happened. Nobody hasn’t spoken up and said they wanted out and to be with another person.”, I said, looking at her face. Confusion and disgust was all over her face. Kelly was from my time, understood what groupies were and sure she’s married but she was passed around the offensive line and the quarterback in high school.

“What it is called? When you go out with multiple people, honey?”, My mom asked. “Polyamorous”, I sighed. “Poly what?” “Poly means multiple”, Kelly said. “Right. Mom, I know this isn’t something you wanted to hear that your daughter is in love with five guys. I didn’t think I would either but life put it that way. I’m happy with them, they all make me smile in their own way. I get something different from each other. You don’t have to worry, this might to be anything any longer, but let me enjoy it while it’s still a thing”, I said holding her hand. “Guess, we didn’t see that way. You do glow more, I’m sorry for never realizing how unhappy you were back home. I love you so much, Y/n. Please keep in contact with us okay?”She smiled. “Okay, you two want to stay for lunch?”, I asked. “No, thank you sweetie. We’ve been here a week trying to find you. Our plane leaves in a few hours”, My mom stood up. “Sorry, you didn’t find me sooner”, I sighed.

“Can you at least meet them? I’ve met half of their parents”, I smiled. “After our tiny argument?”, Mom asked. “They don’t care, come on”, I giggled. They were just spooked that their girlfriend was yelling at a random lady in the living room. I would be too, if their mom came in guns blazing.

“Boys. I want you to meet my mom, Jacqueline and my sister, Kelly. Sorry about earlier”, I said. They were at the table, Duff was digging something out of the fridge. “This is Izzy, Slash, Axl, Steven, and who is gonna hit his head is Duff”, I pointed at each of them. “I am not! Son of a-”, Duff groaned, after hitting his head on the edge of the counter. Kelly giggled. “You didn’t bust it open this time, bonehead”, I rubbed his head, for any nics or blood. “I hated having staples in my head”, Duff raised up, rubbing his head. “I know you did, I hated them too”, I giggled. Duff had pulled me into his side and brushed a piece of hair out of my face. I caught my mom smiling at us. “Honey, I hate to leave but we have a plane to catch”, My mom said, tearing Duff and I apart. “Right. I’ll walk you out”, I said. “Axl, what are you doing?”, I asked as the red head followed us. “I have to get something out of my car, babe”, Axl smiled, grabbing my hips. “Not now”, I whispered, feeling his bulge poke my ass. “Not my fault you and your sister have ass”, Axl smirked, passing me to go to his car. “I’ll kill you”, I mouthed as I approached their rental car. “It was nice seeing you, sis”, Kelly smiled. “You too. How are the kids?”, I asked. “Good, growing like a weed. Conor almost passes me”, Kelly said. “Wow, that means he towers me”, I giggled, thinking of my nephew. Kelly was 5’8, means Conor is at least 5’10, and I’m still 5’3. “Yeah. Annie starts 3rd grade next year, they miss their Auntie Y/n a lot”, Kelly gave a small smile. “Next time, if we’re close to home I’ll see what I can do to come see everyone. Tell everyone I love them.”, I said, pulling Kelly into a hug. “I love you, Kelly”, I whispered. “Love you too, kid”, She tightened the hug. “Okay, my turn”, My mom whined. “You’ve changed into a beautiful woman, Y/n. Your Dad would be so proud of how you’ve grown, he misses his buttercup a lot. Call him when you can, okay?”, My mom said. “I will, Momma. I love you and Dad”, I smiled.

I watched them as they drove down to the neighbor, going to the airport. “You okay, Y/n?”, Steven asked. “Mhm, oh yeah. I’m good, Stevie”, I smiled. I walked over to Steven and smiled. “You forgot something?”, Steven smirked. “My good morning kiss”, Steven pouted. “Nobody got theirs, Stevie”,I giggled, leaning up to kiss his lips. Steven opened the door, there stood Izzy with his arms crossed,pout on his face. I pulled him down to kiss him, “There you, big baby. That better?” “Very much so”, Izzy grinned. I laughed, walking upstairs. Slash pulled me to his lips, “You’re off your routine girl” “Sorry Slashy”, I rubbed his cheek. “Are you still gonna kill me?”, Axl asked, smirking. “No”, I kissed him. “Good girl”, Axl smirked, smacking my ass. Duff’s back was turned, I wrapped my arms from behind. “Hey Baby”, He said. “Hi. You wanna a kiss?”, I asked. “Mhm, I’ll take a makeout session instead”, I knew he was smirking. “Put me on the counter and I’ll deliver”, I smirked as he picked me up. I kissed him. “Hey Y/n, is it weird I find your mom sorta hot?”, Axl yelled from upstairs. “Very! She’s bitcher than I am”, I yelled back, rolling my eyes. “I like your bitchyness, it’s hot”, Duff pulled me into him more. “You’re fucking crazy”, I said. “That song is about you, you know?”, Izzy smirked. “Fuck you, Izzy”, I flipped him off before hopping down from Duff’s arms. “You did last night, hot lips”, Izzy said as he disappeared upstairs.

#poly!gunsn'roses #guns n roses x reader #duff mckagan #Izzy Stradlin #axl rose #steven adler #slash

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dumbdotcomm · 4 years

Text

a little luck and some frogs

(a/n) the iconic @pricklydapper drew this amazing piece for me of Mikey and Raph and I just had to write a angst/fluff one-shot for it!!!

There’s a still and a quiet that comes with rain, gentle and slow and lulling. They haven’t had quiet in so long, it seems; it feels like days blend into one another, new paths unlocked in their destinies or whatever.

Sometimes Raph would just like to stop. Go back to being that 15 year old kid living below Queens, having nothing but his tight knit family and a lair game tournament to worry about.

They’ve been firing on all cylinders for days, and god he’s just tired, overstimulated and definitely in need of, like, a detox or something- Leo and April go on about those kinds of things. Maybe he’ll give that a try.

But even as the days pass, long long after they’ve settled back into home and dealing with low-level crime, Raph still can’t really relax. Not in the way that lasts. He’s always looking, anticipating the moment their relative peace will elude them, and the next thing he’ll know is they’ll be miles high, falling from a building, pushing and pushing to catch one another- or at the docks watching his brother get torn apart.

Raph feels like he’s gonna hurl and he does, nothing but last night’s dinner and severe anxiety spilling out from him.

It’s gross and embarrassing and Raph knows it’s nothing he can control; the little helpful part of his brain is reassuring that way. But it was easier to feel so panicky when everyone else was still reeling from the fight.

Leo’s got his detoxing with April, Mikey’s gone off and found Draxum to rehabilitate for god knows what reason, and Donnie’s regulated his sleeping cycle again and he’s gone back to shittalking and watching gophers on Youtube so- he’s okay.

Everyone’s okay…. except for Raph.

But maybe what Raph doesn’t know is that the somewhat okay thing about it, the silver-ish lining in all of it is- even if he’s feeling alone… he’s not. He never is. And Raph has always hated his panic-stink but maybe it’s doing him some good, because he brothers are attentive, and Mikey’s especially perceptive.

It’s why, on this languid, rainy ass day, Mikey barges into Raph’s room with a shopping bag from Old Navy. How he got to, and inside, and outside of Old Navy, Raph doesn’t really have to wonder (humans were so funny in ignoring obvious things, it made raph wonder why mutants stayed hidden anyway).

But Mikey’s got a grin that stretches a mile wide and is pretty contagious, as he struts into the room after having stood in the entrance in that weird ‘younger sibling is now here to bother you’ stance.

“Whaaat are we doing…?” Raph asks cautiously, but can’t hide his own growing smile the longer Mikey beams.

He says ‘we’ because there’s always a ‘we’ in these types of situations, and he’d rather just include himself now off the bat.

“Glad’ja asked,” Mikey says, and dumps the Old Navy bag out of Raph’s bed, “Behold….the best freakin’ things ever.”

And woah- they kinda are the best freaking things ever. Practically see-through jackets with-

“No way! Mikey!” Raph clutches his- he already knows it’s his by the size, extra huge and all, “Bro this-? Is pretty sick. How’d you even get it this big?!”

The thing about them and clothes is: Leo, Donnie and Mikey are all, at least, human people sizes. It’s easy for them to snag just about anything, even some of April’s old stuff fits them. Hell, Leo could fit into Dad’s old suit. And that luxury was kinda foreign to Raph.

Humans barely even made enough fashionable clothes for all of their people- and Raph was kind of outside of that caliber.

He’s kinda getting teary eyed, but, like, who wouldn’t, and Mikey’s already slipping into his own coat, see-through and speckled with little oranges.

“Eh, it’s no biggie,” he sniffs, shrugging the jacket on the rest of the way (it’s totally a biggie), “I kinda...customized ‘em. They were havin’ this special, and I thought ‘screw it baby, we need raincoats’!”

And, careful of his strength, Raph goes for a hug that he knows Mikey was anticipating anyway, with the force that he hugs back and all. Raph doesn’t really need to say anything, but his warbly thank you to Mikey is just a fraction of the depth of emotion he feels now.

It’s funny, silly maybe, because this doesn’t erase the threat of a bigger fight, a worse enemy lurking in the shadows to trip them up- it’s just a custom made see-through raincoat with Raph’s favorite fruit, adorable little strawberries, on it.

And yet he feels indescribably lighter than he’s felt in weeks.

“I figured we could do some adventuring, and I gotta cooks tonight so…”

Mikey wriggles his brow ridge, and Raph can’t help but, like, wanna combust from this surge of excitement and normalcy that he hasn’t felt in too long.

“Trip to Katagiri, hell yes!”

/////

The nice thing about rain in the city is, even though traffic is all the same, and people are still moving around, the sky gets dark enough from the clouds that the lights kinda shine prematurely. The streetlamps come on with a dim, orangey light, and with the autumn leaves mixed with green ones still clinging on, it was just so peaceful.

No one, again, seems to care that two turtles are walking down Lexington, and one couple briskly compliments their jackets and so that’s a plus.

Mikey compliments the one girl’s hair, shaved with hearts dyed into her scalp, and Raph can only appreciate that his brother is so well-spoken- that he just is so natural and confident out here.

That he doesn’t worry.

Raph remembers his first time topside, and how his fear led him into the state of consciousness that he hates to be in- where he’s on all instinct and fear and nothing else.

It’s gotten better since then, but the unease still lingers all these years. Raph wonders if he’ll get rid of it all the way.

Donnie realistically told him he might not, but that all he has to do is count to ten and back again, look around, find something to focus on- something ordinary or something great, and cling to it till he can convince his body and mind that he’s safe- that things will return to normal in a sec.

And right now, Raph keeps his eyes locked on his brother’s feet, as they pound the sidewalk, making little splashes in rain water.

As he’s watching, a frog of all things, just hops along the sidewalk, right at Raph’s feet. It makes him halt, because....maybe it’s coincidental or maybe Raph’s reading too into it, but Mikey turns around too, sees the frog that Raph stoops beside, and smiles in soft understanding.

It’s an omen of some sorts, Dad always said so. Of good luck, and of things returning.

Raph breathes out a laugh, shaking his head.

Just as quickly as the frog comes, it hops away, and Raph stands, still a bit speechless, still kinda processing the meaning behind what just happened, desperately wanting to cling to it meaning good fortune.

He doesn’t wanna worry his brother though, and so he thinks of something to joke or talk about as they start to walk again, only for Mikey to beat him to it.

“I never told you thanks,” he says, gently, like he’s been reading Raph’s aura. Maybe he has.

And somehow Raph already knows what he’s thanking him for, but decides within himself that Mikey really, really shouldn’t. He was just doing his job. He tells Mikey this breezily, with a soft smile.

“Bullshit,” Mikey snaps back, but only because he knows Raphael so well, “We’re kids- we don’t got jobs- except for Donnie occasionally….suspiciously-” he shakes off the trailing thought, “Anyway- it’s not ‘your job’. It was just a shitty...long fight and ya really held us down, Raph.”

They cross the street, momentarily separating with the influx of people but find their way back in a second, the neon ‘Gonbei’ sign now visible to them.

And it’s not that Raph is all that surprised by Mikey. He knows his brother’s always had a knack for speaking in a way that just...made so much sense and was so profound without any complexity. But maybe it’s his brother being 14 now, that makes him even wiser.

“I know we don’t got jobs,” Raph concedes, as they pass the Lexington Flowers shop, “But, you know, I’m big...bigger than you guys, an’ I might not be as smart but when it comes to protecting, an’ planning….it’s what a leader’s s’posed ta do, y’know?”

They don’t often talk about the leadership thing- not that it’s touchy, it’s just not really relevant with how they function. But Mikey knows Raph’s internalized the role a bit more recently. And that Leo getting dropped from a building may have been the catalyst.

He knows his brother’s technically got a job to do. Mikey resents that, and their Dad a little bit, for not making Raph ready for all of what happened weeks ago.

Though he knows that’s not all fair. His father was only protecting them.

Still….it sucks.

“Well, if it means anything, I think you’re smart. And ‘m not sure if I can promise this, but I’m gonna do it anyway...” Mikey says, stopping in his tracks and turning to Raph, who also stops walking and gets called a ‘fuckin asshat’ for blocking a chunk of the sidewalk but- hey.

Mikey politely tells the guy to go fuck himself and when the guy turns to get a good enough look- not at Raph’s size, but at his little gremlin brother with a chain that’s starting to flame up- he decides this whole situation is not something he wants any parts of.

Mikey rolls his eyes and turns back to Raph, face all sincere and kind for someone who just...did that, “I promise we’re okay, and we’re always gonna be stuck together, Raph. I know that won’t magically make you feel better but...just thought I’d say it.”

And Raph tries to say something, but has to clear his throat, and it’s definitely the rain on his cheeks and beak.

“No,” he croaks, and laughs at his voice, happy that Mikey laughs too, “Nah, it- it really helps a lot Mikey….thank you- thanks, man.”

Satisfied, Mikey turns to keep on walking, patting Raph’s shell, “Anytime bud.”

////

Katagiri’s never disappoints. Mikey leaves with milk tea, shrimp tempura and shiso, more milk tea and a couple boxes of mochi ice. It’s one of those days.

He swings his groceries as they walk.

Raph doesn’t wonder about the frog and its meaning, and doesn’t doubt its luck and why it appeared to him.

He’s kinda figured it out. Because he still has moments like this, watching his brother merrily skip a few steps ahead of him, chatting breezily about pineapple upside down pancakes- and Mikey made a promise, after all, that they’re gonna be together, no matter what.

If that’s not lucky, being with his family, leaning on them when it counts, then Raph’s got no clue what is.

#rise of the tmnt #michelangelo #raphael #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph

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sharktoothedboys · 3 years

Text

One Of The Guys - Chapter One

U.A were some of the best years of your life, no question.

the skills you learnt, the control you gained over your quirk and most importantly, the friends you made along the way.

Which is the one thing you didn’t expect. As a Todoroki, prodigal child, you and your twin brother Shoto were raised in a stoic manner, to put it politely, You were both taught from an early age that you only needed each other and everyone else was weak and a big fat waste of time, even your other siblings.

So when the loveable red head, the brash blonde and the timid green haired boy, as well as a few others, managed to tear down your walls, you were m ore than surprised, to sat the least. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. Then of course you managed to break your brother down too and that’s when you both learnt the true value of friendship.

Fast forward 12 years, 28 years old, you and Shoto are having an event at your co-owned agency to celebrate its first very successful first year, You both decided to open an agency together when you learned that your father was talking retirement, neither of you wanted to merely have his agency handed over to you, so you decided together you would make names for yourselves as separate Todorokis from your father, even though the past is in the past and you were mostly on good terms now, Neither of you wanted anything handing to you in life without hard work and determination. Of course you took on a few investors in the form of your old classmates and fellow pro heroes.

Midoriya, Denki, Bakugo, Tokoyami, Sero and of course your old secret crush, Eijiro Kirishima. Mina was around most of the tie as your best friend and soul mate as she put it, but she wasn't apart of the agency as she was currently on hiatus trying for children, which was never a bad thing, just not your cup of tea, even though you couldn't wait to see who future mini Mina took after.

You were currently getting ready for the event, floating on cloud nine just thinking about seeing Kiri in a tux, it always made you weak when he wore a suit, and everyone thought it was adorable when you tried to adjust his tie because he was so tall and you were, well, not. Everyone saw how you two were and how you loved each other, it was just a shame the two of you didn’t see it from each other. Luckily the building you and your brother had purchased stood a mighty 27 stories tall and the top floor came fully equipped with 4, 2 bedroom apartments, which was ideal for all involved, and one of the main reasons you and Shoto decided to buy it in the first place. then you rented the 5 floors below you to a hotel chain and restaurants and the rest of the building was your hero agency, something you were both immensely proud of. Obviously apartments had to be doubled up on, Shoto shared with Tokoyami to create the worlds quietest living space, Bakugo and Midoroya shared a place, Denki and Sero, and that left you with Kiri, straws were drawn and you are not how you got so lucky. Not that you were complaining.

Back to getting ready! Mina was here to help! Fashion, hair and beauty were by no means your strong point, drop kicking a man and using a switch blade you could handle, winged eyeliner not so much, you could have just watched a video and become an expert in seconds, but you didn’t want to take away from Minas fun. Kiri had currently been kicked out and was in Bakugo and Midoriyas polce getting himself ready so you and mina could have girl time, b ut you you knew the truth, what Mina wanted...

Gossip.

“Sooooo....” She began, but was quickly cut off by you.

“Don’t start Mina.” You smirked at her, knowing what she was getting at, cheeks flushing slightly at the thought.

“Oh come on (Y/N)!!!” She pouted “Its been 12 years!! When are you going to grow a pair and just confess already? Its so obvious that you two love each other, and I mean crazy movie kinda love! It makes me sick that neither of you have fessed up yet!”

“If he liked me, He would have confessed by now!” You continued “I mean, we’ve lived together for the best part of two years while we got the agency up and running, He’s seen me in just my underwear, dancing around in just a long shirt, HIS SHIRT! he’s sat with me while I’ve been in the bath and told me about his day! He’s never even made a passing comment never mind made a move on me!”

you looked down sadly at your scarred hands and pouted.

“Well, you know what he’s like.” Mina said tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, “Its not manly to stare.”

You laugh at her comment, as there’s a knock at the door and she raises herself to her feet.

“I’ll go grab that, you are all done anyway, just need your shoes, they are by the mirror!” She said happily as she left your room, “You scrub up well.”

She points to the mirror as she disappears behind your door to see who was here.

She was right, you didn’t even recognise yourself! Which was a good thing, all eyes would be on you and Shoto today, the Paparazzi was going to be there, as well as all your old class A classmates, and class B , some of your old teachers and even your father was making an appearance, after 6 months of his retirement and not showing his face much while he enjoyed it, he was going to be a hot topic.

“(Y/N)!” Mina yelled from the living area, “Its Bakugo!”

You quickly get up and put on your high high shoes, but it was fine, this you did watch a video on, because you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself, and no of course, you were a seasoned expert at walking in heels. you gave yourself one last glance and headed out towards Mina and Bukugo.

“You ladies ready?” He asks as you round the hallway.

I think so.” You answer, placing your phone in to your bag and giving hi a smile.

“You don’t look to shabby (Y/N)” He remarked as you twirled.

“Thanks, you don’t look terrible yourself Suki.” You replied, His nickname from school still sticking, not that he minded, you were one of the few people he tolerated more than others, mainly down to the respect he had for you as a person, he had definitely grown up a little, in body and mind.

“Shall we go?” Mina asked, linking her arm with Bakugo’s..

Yes they were an item, that’s why you couldn’t wait to see how mini Mina turned out, a pink haired baby Bakugo sounded to cute to comprehend! You’re still not sure how it even happened, but it did and there were an adorable couple and great together, you were so happy for them, you couldn’t wait until they had a child to complete their little family, even if it did mean Bakugo would move out eventually.

“Sure, lets party.” You said with a hint of sarcasm, you hated these events in all honestly, but the free publicity would do your agency wonders.

Bakugo lead you both out of your apartment and over the the elevators, The ride done was silent, besides Mina humming as she fixed Bakugos bow tie, and a small wince coming from you as your feet were already hurting. The ding indicated you had reached your destination, the doors open to a barrage of flashes and “Over here’s” as the Paps had been patiently waiting for you all to arrive.

The three of you made your way over to the reception room past the rows of cameras, you smiled and waved and happily answered as few questions thrown your way, as did Mina. Bakugo however just walked by, ignoring them all and made hi way into the reception room where the event was set to take place. Some things never change.

You and Mina broke away from them, saying your goodbyes and offering them all a drink or two at the open bar later on. Just as you were both about to enter the grand doors to the reception room, the elevator dinged again and a cameraz man shouted.

“Red riot has arrived!”

You smiled at Mina and turned to watch him emerge from the elevator and make his way to you. but you didn’t expect to see what you did.

Your smile quickly faded as he appeared, but not alone, a pretty woman was basically attached to him, his arm protectively around her waist and he guided her gracefully past the paps and towards where you and Mina stood. He smiled and obliged to stop for photos on his way. his arm never leaving her hips.

Your mouth went dry, the colour visibly drained from your face and suddenly you couldn’t remember how to move as your body gave up on you as you desperately wanted to avoid this interaction.

Who was she?

“(Y/N)” Mina whispered as you stared in disbelief “Are you okay?”

Her question pulling you back to reality

“Yes.” You lied, “Why wouldn’t I be, He isn’t mine in the first place, he can do as he pleases.”

She knew better as you put on a fake smile as he got closer to the two of you.

“Hi Guys!” He beamed and your heart skipped a beat, “Meet Kimiko, Kimiko, this is Mina and (Y/N)”

You put your hand out to shake hers in greeting and she gave you a look that could kill as she ignored your gesture.

“A pleasure,” She all but spat out. “(Y/N)? the person you share the apartment with?”

She’d been in your apartment?

“I didn’t know it was a girl you lived with.” She said, words full of hatred.

“Of course she’s a she, she’s my best friend.” He said happily, making you smile at him as he defended you a little. “Besides there nothing to worry about, right (Y/N)?” He asked, not giving you time to answer. “She’s one of the guys.”

You’re heart broke.

You held back the tears that felt like acid in your eyes as you felt Mina’s hand grab yours in a desperate attempt of some kind of comfort for you.

“Anyway, see you guys inside!” Kirishima said as he lead Kimiko inside the hall.

You let out the breath you didn’t know you had been holding and looked over at Mina and small, sad smile adorned your face.

“See, its a good job I never confessed,” You chuckle out, holding back a sob, “I am just one of the guys.”

“(Y/N)...” Mina started but you abrup0tly cut her off.

“Shall we go inside?” You asked, dabbing under your eyes to catch any stray tears that had dared to fall, ignoring Minas concern as you turn and head inside the venue, a hug pretend smile plastered on your face. You were not going to let it ruin your big night you think to yourself as you confidently stroll in looking for your brother, it was an important night and you couldn’t let just “being one of the guys” get you down, not right now.

#one of the guys #my hero academia #my hero academia scenario #chapter one #eijiro kiriahima #bakugo #todoroki #angst #mina ashido #sero #denki #midoriya #tokoyami #mha #scenario #head cannon #chaptered story #my hero academia story

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adashelbysgirlfriend · 4 years

Text

Polly’s Daughter - Headcannon

request ; Hey! Would you consider making headcanons for being Polly's lost daughter and how she would react to the daughter just appearing one day telling her that they just told Polly that she's dead to keep her away? And how Polly would react and treat her afterwards + how the rest of the family would? 💜

i think this is a genius idea tbh; mainly because i refuse to believe in a world where Anna Gray isn't alive. I just need Polly to be happy? i don't think thats asking too much. So yer, thank you for this - you've fuelled my domestic fantasy where Polly has a full family and is never sad again. This one also hits hard for me because my mum was adopted as a baby, and I've always grown up wondering who my biological grandma is - so however you are and wherever you are granny i hope youre rocking on and having a good old time!

i kinda wrote this from like the readers point of view? i don't know why i just liked the flow better that way. Anyway, i hope you like it! and NEVER hesitate to send in a Polly related request because i ADORE the woman. Iconic.

i feel like she’d grow up dreaming of a your mum coming to find you

because you were a few years older than

but with every birthday and Christmas without so much as a card, it would kinda harden you into hating Polly for leaving you like that

being moved to Australia and completely giving up on her ever trying to find you

trying really hard to not repeat your mothers mistakes

being as responsible as possible

finally ending up with a family that keeps you around long enough for you to build up some sort of trust system and being a second mum to their other kids

you'd found out your mother was looking for you and freaked the fuck out

shock turned into anger

the woman who left you, didn't love you like any decent mother would, now wanted to meet you on her terms

absolutely not

no way

especially when you heard that the Tommy Shelby of Small Heath was the one putting feelers out for you

but being brought up in the care system (or lack there of it) had made your mind somewhat deviant and street smart

you also knew quite a few undesirable members of society, some of which had a level of power

it wasn't hard for them to formulate a fake paper trail

and just like that, Anna Gray was officially dead

you stayed in Australia but never felt settled again after that

as you got older, became an adult, the earlier anger turned into hurt

why had she left you?

why did she want you back?

i feel like these emotions would brew for a while but it would take a personal event to make you finally snap and want to go find Polly

you’ve always been careful with sleeping with men and not becoming a mum yourself so young but like you end up a month late for your period and are convinced you’re pregnant

queue storm of Angst

never feeling so close to understanding your mums decision as this

you go to the doctors and you aren't, but it sticks with you

or maybe its just when you have to leave your new family and move out alone, you realise how hard it is to be by yourself in the big city and also how much you need family

you go to Birmingham a month later

youre SHIT scared

and not just because youre well aware of the status your mothers family has

massive fear of rejection

youre well aware of the time thats passed in-between her looking for you and you actually showing up

what if she doesn't want to see you anymore?

what if she does but youre just not what she expected and she doesn't want to know you?

standing on her doorstep for like a good half hour before knocking

which alerts the boys that something fishy is going on

her coming to the door and you just standing there like a lemon with no clue what to say even though you've been literally planning this moment for as long as you can remember

finally getting the words out and making Polly the speechless one

she definitely doesn't fully believe you

she wants too, with her whole heart, but she doesn't think its possible for you to be alive so she thinks its some sick joke by one of their enemies

she definitely slaps you

you slap her back obviously

she's crying and shouting and you’re crying and shouting

everyones confused

Tommy and John coming out to break up whatever going on

“who Tommy?! who would send some whore and have them to pretend to be my Anna?”

“Oh IM the whore? who left who? i can't believe i even bothered coming all this way, all you've ever been is a disappointment, i wish i was dead so i never had to meet you “

Tommy and John feeling like they are watching Polly fight with Polly

“Pol, its her”

“How! How can i be her Tom?!”

“Just look at her Pol”

“Holy shit Pol, its definitely her” - John ever so eloquently adding in his two cent

ending up inside with Polly

the lads being nervous to leave you two together just incase you fight again but her sending them away

as soon as you start talking instead of shouting, she can take a proper look at you

and bOY do you look like her

it makes her feel warm and violently sick all in one

she probably actually has to excuse herself to vomit

she just needs to hold you

its a bit uncomfortable and awkward at first but then it all hits you at once and you can't stop yourself from sobbing

she's sobbing too

fuck me man everyones sobbing tbh

just sitting like that for hours, until you have no more tears to cry

“well lass, you’re far too skinny”

feeding you

drawing you a bath

putting the fire on for you

making sure she sets up a bed for you so you’re comfortable and i don't mean calling the maid in to do it, she wants to do it by hand so she knows its perfect

it taking a long time for you to trust her fully

but Polly literally doing everything she can to show you she will always regret losing you that day

finding out it wasn't her fault

“I didn't want to lose you, you or Michael, they took you away but i never ever stopped loving you. I thought about you every morning when i woke up and every night before i went to sleep, even after i thought you were gone’

meeting the boys properly

Tommy is cautious of you at first, not wanting to see Polly hurt but he grows to trust you and love you in his own nonchalant way

John and you being a comedy double act, you get his respect from day one for straight up fighting Polly fucking Gray in the street, and everyone else enjoys seeing him be torn apart by your humour

Arthur sees you as his little sister, would protect you with him whole life

Michael doesn't really remember you that well, but you grow to become siblings again

Ada has you over for sleepovers at least once a week, and youre even trusted to look after little Karl for her, she loves you and is the big sister you never thought you needed, but she also respects you for what you've been through and is always checking in and making sure youre okay and reminding you that youre part of a family now

Finn is probably the first ti accept you because its Finn guys, what an angel we STAN

it definitely takes a while, but youre glad of the day you stepped foot on Polly doorstep

and none of them can imagine life without you now.

#polly gray imagine #polly gray x reader #polly shelby x reader #polly shelby imagine #polly gray #polly gray headcannon #being pollys daughter headcannon #polly shelby #polly shelby headcannon #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder headcanon #anna gray #tommy shelby #arthur shelby #ada shelby #finn shelby #tommy shelby imagine

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msiopao · 4 years

Text

Sera with the Members

a/n: mark is in this because dream is now a fixed unit and he’s part of the lineup!!!!!!

WATERMELON ADDICT

was the person who made Sera comfortable since he reminded her of home

always asks if canadian bacon is better than american bacon

‘i dONt kNoW, sERa! mEAT iS mEaT!’

she didnt actually cry on stage when he was leaving but she cried when it was just the two of them and he recorded for the last time

it was her idea for hyuck to buy him a big bottle of ketchup

CANNOT believe that mark was a churchboy and ends up acting up in music videos

the duality SCARES her

calls her finny since her name is serafina

sera has her own room but she has an extra bed so he sleeps in there when he spends the night

learned this watermelon shake to help mark’s hangover

english all the time

ever since they met, mark has always placed his elbow on her head due to her short height

sera learned this fried rice recipe from her mom and he goes over to their dorm for breakfast

‘mark bls dont touch anything. get out of the kitchen and go watch tv or something’

always brings up his messed up eggs

‘gordon spitting facts tho’

whenever he feels too overworked or too pressured, sera has always made it a point to come over to their dorm and have a movie night with just the 2 of them with his favorite snacks and drinks

LONJIN

omg these two

sera is typically not mean but when renjun starts, she becomes ruthless

always calling out his fake personality

‘everyone, don’t believe him! he’s 2 faced!’

‘what are you even saying! you act like you’re so quirky and giggly but you yeeted jisung into the wall last night!’

‘YAH!’

so yea, they fight a lot

but its very playful and they know where that line is drawn and not cross it

he talks to her about space and aliens and she listens to every word bc renjun sounds so confident and happy whenever he talks about that stuff

they’re actually 10 days apart but sera acts like she’s 10 years older than him

‘IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO SOMEONE OLDER?!’

‘okay, granny’

always in awe whenever renjun draws and paints and she really likes seeing him in his element

unbeknowst to her, he actually draws her a lot

wants to frame all of his work

they go out to the roof and stargaze

he steals her airpods just to watch her go crazy

once hid her phone in the fridge

lives for his vocals

cannot believe how much he’s grown from chewing gum era to now

her heart strings were tugged when he cried in dnyl

renjun always says that he wishes sera was born as his little sister bc they act like they’re siblings

EYESMILE PRINCE

hmm

so their is kinda complicated

sera’s closest to him than all the members bc 1, he was her first friend and 2, he has cats

before, when they still went to school, her and jeno always went together

yes, jaemin and jeno and her went together in the beginning

but jaemin was in the hospital and recovering so it just became them 2

also, she goes to visit his parents so she can see his cats

this results to his parents and older sister adoring her

‘bongsik, nal, and seol are my kids’ - lee sera, 00 line vlive

she always craves for attention and when it isnt given bc he’s too busy playing, she just walks into his room and sits on his lap while he plays

tries to get his attention by saying stuff but he teases her by acting like she aint there

‘fine, i’ll go to jaemin’

jeno wasnt supposed to be blonde for the comeback but they were just messing around and next thing they knew, jeno’s tips were bleach blonde

when shes on that,,,, time,,,,, hes the only one in the dorm she listens to

not even johnny, who’s practically her father

collabs with her mukbang show and jsmr

he mentions her like at least once whenever he has lives that she’s not in

steals his glasses all the time just to watch him wander around with this confused adorable face

hugs are so cute w these two and czennies see them hugging in videos and she can barely reach his shoulder

forehead kisses and sweater paws for daysss

NANA

drop dead gorgeous boy

shes not safe from jaemin’s affections

*cue jeno glaring at him for stealing her*

we all know how much he loves the members and whenever sera breathes, he busts his uwus

takes so many pictures of her

sera buys him lots of lip balms and carmex but he always forgets to put them on

sera hates peaches but she buys him peach flavored sweets whenever she sees them

‘NANA!!’

sera is also an attention whore so she always runs to him and wraps her arms around him and he squeals by how cute she is

bought him an expensive camera for his birthday

has a polaroid picture of him in her clear phone case

actually, her phone background is an old picture of predebut sera, jeno, and jaemin

one of the rare moments where she cried was when she found out that jaemin wouldnt be in a few comebacks bc he was sick

kept visiting him and jaemin cannot repay her enough

the dorm is full of ryan and winnie plushies from the sofa, a tiny winnie plush on the corner of the island counter, and their bedrooms

sera is the one who always throws away the his satanic drink even though it’s still full

‘yah, you need to think about your health and if it your body is tired, dont fight it by trying to drink these to keep your energy’

sleepovers with them are often and sometimes found sleeping on the spare bed in her room

FULL SUN

our big babie

oh boi when he got hurt

sera called him twice a day, one in the morning and one at night, just to check if it’s still hurting and making sure he’s resting

forever remembers when he dressed up as a girl

‘you see, i’m not the only girl member. dongsuk is just on hiatus right now’

his name on her phone is ‘man-child’

when he went on tour with 127, she really missed him

like she missed him so much that she kept posting on instagram for him to hurry back home

still mad that he moved dorms to be with the older members

when sera got sick, she made him sing ‘no longer’ to her like a lullaby

when he asks sera to do something for him, usually she says no because he asks her to do ridiculous things but his aegyo always convinces her

thinks his color amblyopia is so fascinating and adds more into the unique traits he has

another attention giver and she loves hugging him because he gives really warm hugs

one time, jeno and sera had a fight and it got so bad that hyuck had to be called and he was the only one who got to talk some sense in sera to talk to jeno

but the legendary markhyuck summer fight was resolved because sera yelled at them and cried since they are best friends and they shouldnt be like that to each other

they made up since ‘wow sera cried’ and ‘the members are ready to beat us up if we continue this’

and by members, like all members, including the older ones

sera knows how much being the moodmaker title burdens him so she tries to ease that burden by talking to him just the two of them

DOLPHIN CHILD

look how adorable he is UWU

he is 1/2 of sera’s sons

like she’s whipped for him and jisung and he knows it too

‘noona~’

‘yes, i will give you the world, the stars, and the moon’

thinks his laugh is endearing and is sad that it isnt that high-pitched anymore since his voice got a little deeper

cannot believe how much he’s grown too

when he speaks in chinese, sera thinks its the cutest thing

‘can we give his scalp some rest? its not healthy for the boy’

trust fund babies

you know how chenle has 3 airpods?

sera went through 4 phones since she keeps losing or breaking it

dont ask how bc shes as clumsy as namjoon

had this phase where he wouldn’t stop back-hugging his noona and she just left it alone

always buys him snacks and cooks him a lot of food bc she thinks he’s too skinny and wants him to be healthy and gain some fat on those cheeks again

on their break, she went to china with jisung and her lock screen is a picture of her and chenle holding his nephew

triggered her baby fever

czennies ship them but he makes it clear she’s the older sister he’s never had

nct dream took a vacation to her hometown and she bought them basketball tickets so chenle could see his idol

his mom practically adopted her since she goes over to his apartment all the time whenever the others are getting too much for her

she misses him so much its not even funny

JISUNG PWARK

our maknae is growing up :(

sera had the whole family sit and watch the first episode of dancing high

so proud of her boy

she called him during the show and it was shown and heard about her telling him to take care of himself and to not be too hard on his body and that she’s waiting for him at home

as the youngest member overall, sera babies him the most

he obvs takes advantage of it and she used to cuddle him to sleep when he was younger bc he had a hard time sleeping

again, cooks for him a lot since he’s a growing boy and making sure he takes vitamins and drinks water and limit sugary things

she calls his mom to give him updates about her son

remember his phone that he used until it actually died?

sera actually bought him a new one before that happened and just casually gave it to him

‘i know this was going to happen so i just took care of it. i have to take care of you, jisung-ah’

hypes him up whenever he dances bc wow this boy is actually talented

doesnt really like skinship but he tolerates it when she holds his hands bc theyre so much bigger than hers

one day just woke up and she got so confused when jisung grew up

‘did you grow in your sleep?’

‘n-no?’

loves his awkward nature and she keeps saying how adorable he is and cute he is whenever he acts cool

god, she’s just so whipped for him

but tbh, who isn’t?

aaaahhhhhh i cannot believe our wish came true and they became a fixed unit and we really getting a comeback and an mv in the 29th!!!

#nct dream #nct #nct 22nd member #nct dream 8th member #nct au #nct dream imagines #nct dream imagine #nct dream scenarios #nct dream scenario #nct dream 8th member au #8th member of nct dream #nct 22nd member au #22nd member of nct #nct dream female member #nct female member #nct female addition #nct dream female addition

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hollandsmoose · 5 years

Text

better than sex

A/N: I've been writing on this for ages, holy shit. This is based on that thing Shawn said about performing being better than sex lmao. @particularrose basically wrote this one with all the ideas she gave me tbh so special shout-out to her for being so incredible! So here you go, dudes, here's 6k of some flirty sub!Shawn with a guest star appearance by Niall Horan himself!

part 2 in masterlist

-----------------

Summertime in Los Angeles is positively scorching. When the sun is high in the sky, it can feel a bit like you’re boiling. Niall’s house thankfully has stellar air conditioning, but it doesn’t stop things from getting a little heated at times.

When Niall had suggested that you could spend your summer with him in his Hollywood home, you hadn’t even hesitated to accept the offer. The prospect of spending several weeks alone with one of your best friends was almost too good to be true. And, of course, it was.

What Niall hadn’t told you when he made that offer was that he’d also made that same offer to someone else. Shawn. And it’s not that you don’t like Shawn; it’s more that you perhaps like him a little too much.

You’d met Shawn through Niall, and you’d initially been a smidge smitten with the curly-haired and brown-eyed boy who was nothing if not cute. But the more you got to know him, the more you realized that he wasn’t just cute; he was hot.

It’s even worse now, to be honest. The heat means that Shawn is never wearing too much clothing, and every goddamn time you see him, he’s got some part of his body on display. When you’ll be trying to read a book by the pool, for example, he’ll come out in nothing but swim trunks, his glorious torso on exhibition. The amount of times you’ve caught yourself fantasizing about running your hands over those defined abs or biceps or that back of his is astounding and almost worrying.

You don’t ever want to make it too obvious that you’re staring. Niall is much like a brother to you, you treat each other like siblings, and openly thirsting for one of his best friends seems like a bad idea.

You catch Shawn staring too, though. When you’ll go to take a dip in the pool in nothing more than a bikini, his eyes will linger a few moments too long. When you’ll walk around the house in booty shorts, the looks he gives you when he thinks you’re not looking are definitely indecent.

Almost subconsciously, it develops into a game of who can be the biggest tease, and it’s exhausting. Your only break from it is when Shawn goes off to the studio to write, although he always comes back frustrated, annoyed with the writer’s block he’s going through.

Niall does his best to help him, but there’s not much to do. Niall says it’s just something that happens every once in a while and that Shawn just has to let it pass. Shawn is not one for patience when it comes to things like these, however. He tells you that he’s looking for inspiration, and about two weeks into your stay is when he finds it.

-----------------

It’s a slightly colder day than usual, yet it would be a lie to say that it’s actually cold. LA is never cold. Not to you, anyway. All it really means is that you eat your dinner inside in the kitchen.

Niall has cooked tonight. It's always either you or him who's responsible for food because Shawn is absolutely hopeless in the kitchen. Therefore, he's often the one in charge of loading the dishwasher as compensation.

Niall has made you fettuccine alfredo which is cooked to perfection. He's picked up a couple of bottles of good white wine, a type that has certainly not been cheap. You suppose the price doesn't mean much to someone like him, though. He doesn't exactly lack money.

It doesn't take long before you've finished eating, but you remain at the table, drinking the rest of the wine. And that is when the topic falls to Shawn and his writer's block.

“I just really wanna finish this album, you know?” Shawn says, a little frustrated, and you both give him sympathetic nods. “Like, as soon as I'm done with it, I can start planning tour and shit. And I can't wait to get back on the road,” Niall raises his eyebrows and nods, knowing exactly what Shawn means. “Performing is just… the best fucking thing. Even better than sex.” The noise that leaves you is not one you can hold back.

“Ha!” you exclaim, giggling to yourself. When the two men give you confused looks, you smile. “I'm sorry, it's just…” You lock eyes with Shawn. The wine is making you too brave. “What kinda sex are you having?”

At this, Niall bursts into laughter, a laugh you would recognize anywhere, and he actually slaps the table. You can't help but laugh at your own comment too, but when you take in Shawn's expression, he doesn't seem amused.

He squints a little. “What does that mean?”

You pick up your wine glass. “Well, I'm just thinking that you must be having some pretty boring sex to be able to say that,” This only makes Niall snort out loud, now resting his forehead on the hard surface of the table.

“Maybe I just really like performing,”

“Maybe you do,”

“I do,”

“Great! Then that's settled!”

“I don't have boring sex,” Shawn bites back with a smirk, not willing to let it go. “I just think performing is better.”

“So performing is better than having your face buried in pussy?” you ask, incredulous. Niall is practically dying at this point in the conversation, gasping for air, and Shawn's face burns bright red. “Or being balls deep in one?” The wine's influence has made you too confident, and you know you should probably keep your mouth shut, but it's impossible. “I'll need to show you a good time, then.”

Niall doesn't seem to hear what you said, and you're glad. Niall may not be your real brother, but he is as overprotective as a real brother would be. Shawn, however, does hear.

He chokes on nothing, coughing desperately, and his eyes are wide. Niall gives him a confused look, but he doesn't give an explanation, and neither do you. Thankfully, the older man soon finds himself distracted, and no questions are asked. Not unless you count the silent one that Shawn is asking with his eyes.

-----------------

It's not until a little later that you find yourself alone with Shawn. Niall goes upstairs, to the living room there, after dinner to pick a movie to watch, still quite fond of an old-fashioned DVD, and you stay behind to make some popcorn. Shawn, of course, is in charge of loading the dishwasher.

There's a great deal of tension in the kitchen as your words from before hang in the air, and you watch from behind as he puts the things into the dishwasher. His back muscles flex under his tight T-shirt every time he bends down to put something in, and you have to rub your thighs together. The microwave hums, and the kernels start to pop as you eye Shawn, leaning back against the chair behind you.

“You're watching me,” he states and turns to look at you. Of course, he's smirking. “Like what you see?”

“Hmm, maybe,” you tease, deciding to make this even more fun. Maybe it's dumb to even go along with this. You know you should probably shut him down, but this has been a long time coming, and you will never forgive yourself if you give up this opportunity. “I mean, I've seen better.”

Shawn tilts his head, arrogant smirk still playing on his lips. “You sure?”

You squint as he slowly approaches you. “Are you always this cocky?”

“Only when I have reason to be,”

“And you do now?”

Shawn comes to a stop in front of you, right as the microwave beeps. You're frozen to the ground, unwilling and unable to move. Your bodies are maybe a bit too close, and it's actually hard to breathe, every breath of yours shaky and laboured.

“Yes,” he confesses, his fingers stroking your upper arm. “‘Cause you think I'm hot.” Busted. You can’t let him win, though. Resting your hand on his hard chest, you smile.

“Well, how cocky am I allowed to be, then?” you retort, meeting his confused eyes. “‘Cause you think I’m hot too,” When Shawn blushes profusely, confirming your suspicions, your smile just grows even wider. “Thought as much.”

He gulps and bites his lip. “Y/N, I-” He doesn’t get to say more.

“You guys ready?” Niall says, walking into the kitchen, and you and Shawn jump away from each other, hoping to get as much distance between you as possible. Your heart starts to race with the thoughts of what Niall will say, but he is too busy staring at his phone that he thankfully doesn’t take much notice of the situation unfolding in front of him. “I picked a movie. I think you’ll like it.”

And then Niall finally looks up, but you and Shawn are far apart, looking perfectly decent. There’s no reason to suspect a thing.

-----------------

It’s hard to focus on the movie when you’re sat right next to Shawn who keeps glancing your way, meeting your eyes with sin in his own. Upstairs, it’s slightly colder, and therefore you’ve picked up a few blankets, something you’re very grateful for.

Because when your hand purposefully finds its way onto Shawn’s thigh, the blankets over your bottom halves manage to cover it up. There’s no covering up the surprised gasp that leaves his mouth, but when Niall looks at him questioningly, he just excuses it as a cough.

“You’ve been coughing a lot tonight,” Niall asks, and the worry he feels for his friend is more than clear. It almost makes you feel a little bad, but when Shawn blushes anew, you can’t help but feel just a bit pleased with yourself. “You’re not sick, are you?”

“No, no,” Shawn protests, and as your fingers trace circles into his skin, pushing a little at the hem of his gym shorts, the flush on his cheeks only deepens into a dark red. He gulps. “Just had to cough, that’s all.” And with that, Niall’s attention goes back to the TV.

Shawn’s shallow breaths are a good indicator of the effect you have on him. You revel in how his eyes screw shut every time you venture a little too close to where he really needs your touch, his hand on yours urging you to continue. You play with the idea of actually giving him what he wants and putting an end to your teasing, but you’re having too much fun to stop, and with Niall right next to you, it doesn’t seem like the best idea. That’s a decision you come to regret, though. Because when you pull your hand away with a confident, shit-eating grin, Shawn is quick to get revenge.

The first thing you feel is the tips of his fingers tracing circles on the side of your thigh, and you know exactly where this is going. Payback time. You don’t dare to take a look at him, keeping your eyes fixed on the screen in front of you.

A shaky breath leaves you when his hand moves to rest on the top of your thigh, and when Shawn squeezes your skin ever so slightly, you have to bite your lip to keep a whimper from escaping. You hear the small chuckle that comes from him. He knows what he’s doing to you.

A heat is definitely pooling low in your stomach. A part of you is praying for him to give you some relief, but you know it’s not likely - not after your teasing. From your calculations, you figure that there is still a whole hour of the movie left, and you sigh. It’s gonna be a long hour.

The movie ends just before midnight, and you can honestly say that you’ve only understood about 10% of it. You and Shawn have not been playing nice, and you’re terribly worried for your underwear, surely soaked by now.

“Great movie, huh?” Niall says as he gets up to take it out of the DVD player. “What did you think?”

“Uh, yeah, it was…” you stutter, forcing a smile, meeting his eyes. “It was good.”

Niall tilts his head, squinting. “You okay, sweetie? You just seem a little… off,”

You gulp. “Just tired, that’s all,”

“Yeah, maybe we should head to bed,” Shawn suggests, his tone even more suggestive. Oh God, yes. No matter what happens now, you need to be in private. “I’m pretty tired too.” Niall agrees, and so do you.

You’re not tired in the slightest, though. You’re quite the opposite. You and Shawn’s little game has left you on the edge, and you’re practically bustling with energy. It’s endlessly funny to watch Shawn as he gets up, leaving the cover of the blankets, and tries to conceal the tent in his shorts. Niall, thank God, remains oblivious.

Soon, you’re all walking to your rooms, and you bid each other goodnight. Niall’s master bedroom is in one end of the house, whereas the rooms you and Shawn are occupying are on the same hallway in the other end. The distance between you and Shawn’s rooms and then Niall’s makes you feel a little safer.

Niall wouldn’t notice. It’s this thought that goes through your mind when you stand in the doorway to your room, and you turn to look at Shawn in the doorway of his. There’s a look in his eyes that is hard to decipher, and, for a moment, you consider asking what it means, but then there’s a noise from the living room, distracting you.

“Sorry, guys,” Niall says, chuckling to himself, and he picks something up from the coffee table. “Forgot my phone.”

When Niall has gone back to his room, you decide to do the same. Biting your lip, you give Shawn a look too. You both linger in your doorways for a few moments before you enter your rooms.

-----------------

Just about an hour has passed since you started getting ready for bed, and you're wiggling around on your mattress, trying to get comfortable, but you know very well that, even if you wanted to sleep, it wouldn't be possible.

There's a distinct ache between your thighs, and it needs relief. Your fingers toy with the waistband of your underwear. Shawn hasn't tried to get in contact, and you're almost at your breaking point. You need relief.

But right when you're about to dip your hand under the elastic, a thought crosses your mind. What if Shawn's doing this right now too? It's enough to make you clench involuntarily, only furthering the ache. Making a hasty decision, you throw the covers off and plant your feet on the floor. You're going to walk down the little hallway and knock on his door. Damn the consequences.

You've only just exited your room and shut your door when you hear another door open. Just down the hallway, Shawn emerges from his room, and then your eyes meet.

Whatever confidence you had before has left you. Had it stayed, you would have marched right up to him and kissed those pretty lips of his, but it's different now. None of you say anything, but, almost subconsciously, you both start to approach each other. It's slow - agonizingly slow, to be honest, but you do end up within touching distance.

“Can't sleep?” Shawn asks in a whisper, and there's a certain breathlessness to his voice that tells you all you need to know. When you shake your head, he swallows. “Me neither.”

The ache you're experiencing is not helped by the sight of his bare torso, barely visible in the dimly lit hallway. It's visible enough to have you rubbing your thighs together. He catches the movement, and you're expecting a smirk, but what you get from him is more like a whimper.

Even Shawn looks surprised by the sound. It’s hard to see much, the only light coming from your room, but you can see how his cheeks redden. Without a word, you lift your hand to rest on his chest, feeling the soft patch of hair there. He sucks in a sharp breath at your touch.

“Do you want this?” you whisper, establishing eye contact, and you pray that he’s down for this because you need him, and you might just cry if he turns you down. “Do you want me?”

“Oh my god, yes,” Shawn answers, the words rushing out from his mouth. “I want you so bad.”

You give him a coy look. “Then take me,”

Shawn doesn’t hesitate. He pushes his mouth on yours with such passion that you actually stumble back, but he has lightning reflexes and places a strong hand on your back to keep you from falling. The hand manages to press your bodies flush together, no space left between them.

His other hand cups your cheek, a delicate touch compared to how you're kissing. You're unsure of what to do with your hands at first, but they end up gripping his shoulders, trying to get him impossibly closer. It's not that you can't already feel almost every bit of him, though. There is an unmistakable hardness pressing against you, and if you weren't in a fucking hallway, you would have dropped to your knees by now.

Shawn doesn't seem to care much about the whole hallway thing nor about the fact that Niall could walk out and see the two of you at any time. Instead of leading you to one of your rooms and to privacy, he guides you backwards until your back thuds against the wall. The whine is impossible for you to keep in when he detaches his lips from yours.

Moving his hands to under your ass, Shawn squeezes a little. “Jump,”

You eye him skeptically, but he seems confident in his ability to carry you, and you're confident in his confidence. So you jump.

You wrap your legs around him, but he holds you up as if you're as light as a feather. Shawn doesn't go back to your lips, yet you don't complain. Because shortly after, his mouth is on your neck, kissing and licking - no biting or sucking, though. You would have no chance of hiding the hickey that that would leave behind. Your fingers have tangled themselves into Shawn’s curls, and when you pull on them, impatient, he gets the clue and tears himself away from your skin. Instead of giving you what you want and kissing you, he shakes his head slightly and smiles.

“Oh god,” Shawn says, still quiet. “Niall’s gonna kill me.”

Sighing, you roll your eyes. “Don’t mention Niall right now,” It’s bit of a mood killer, really.

Shawn raises his eyebrows, his expression undeniably cocky. “Giving me orders now, baby?” That gives you an idea.

“Yes,” you answer with no hesitation, seizing control. “Yes, I am,” You tug on his curls with more force than before, and he hisses. The atmosphere changes. You can feel it. The ball is in your court now. “Your room.”

Shawn is more than pliant. He carries you, only putting you down when you’re inside his room. He leaves you for a moment to close and lock the door, but then he’s back. It is different now, however. He doesn’t reach for you or try to kiss you; he awaits your command. So when you tell him to lie down on the bed, he does it in an instant.

He’s left the lamp on the nightstand on, so you’re able to see much better than in the hallway. You can so clearly see his flushed cheeks, his toned abs and his brown eyes, darker than usual. You can so clearly see the way his lips part when you crawl onto the mattress and between his legs, sitting back on your knees.

“What do you want, Shawn?” you ask as you run a finger up his thigh, and your tone is deceitfully sweet and innocent. You’re fully expecting him to beg for your mouth or hands around him, but he takes you by surprise - and not in a bad way.

“I wanna taste you,” he tells you, voice shaky and absolutely wrecked. “Want you to sit on my face.” Fuck. You have to fight to keep a whimper from leaving your mouth. How can you possibly say no to that request? It takes a fair bit of manoeuvring, but you manage to pull off your teeny-tiny, exposing shorts and your underwear, leaving you in nothing else than your camisole. You tug his grey sweatshorts off, and his already prominent bulge just becomes even more prominent when he’s just in his boxers. Unconsciously, you lick your lips.

You crawl up his body, but you don’t waste any time, going straight for his face. Settling over his face, you shiver when his hands come up to grab ahold of your thighs. Shawn stares up at you, wanting reassurance that he’s allowed to touch you, and you nod. In fact, you might just die if he doesn’t touch you. That may be an exaggeration, but it doesn’t feel that way to you.

You pull your camisole over your head, and that leaves you naked. Shawn’s eyes widen, and you don’t even think he’s aware that he’s moving his hands until they’re cupping your breasts. You don’t tell him off for not asking for permission, though. You’re far too consumed by the fire that his touch ignites inside you. When his thumbs brush against your nipples, you emit a keen noise that you can’t even believe comes from your own mouth.

Shawn groans beneath you, and when you glance down, you see the conflict in him. His eyes flicker from where his hands are to your dripping heat. You know he wants to please you, but it seems he can’t decide on where to start. So you decide for him.

You move his left hand down, back to the back of your thigh where he grips your flesh, bringing you closer to where he needs you. When you lock eyes, it’s almost overwhelming. There’s a hunger in them, yet he still waits for affirmation that he can go on. Such a good boy. You nod.

And then his mouth is on you. You moan, and Shawn groans. There’s a relief in it for both of you. His tongue runs up your slit, spreading you out so he has better access to all of you. You desperately need something to hold on to so you grab the headboard of the bed. His fingers pinch your nipple, just as his tongue touches your clit for the first time, and you gasp, rocking your hips against his mouth.

The noise that leaves him can’t be described as anything else than a growl, and the vibrations from it are utterly thrilling. Shawn’s other hand comes down and grips your other thigh, and he pulls you even closer, even further down onto his face. You’re almost worried that you’re drowning him, but, to be fair, he seems quite happy to drown.

Everything you’ve dreamed of for these last two weeks is coming true. Shawn wraps his lips around your clit and sucks. Instinctively, one of your hands reaches down and goes into his hair, running through it. He almost moves into your hand, almost like he’s seeking your touch. He really is fucked for you.

“So good for me,” you purr. “So good.” The praise seems to please him; it seems to encourage him further. His tongue definitely becomes a little more forceful and pushes down on your clit with even more pressure than before. The pleasure shoots through your body, and the fire within only intensifies.

Several hours of teasing has left you sensitive, and when his lips close around your clit again, you’re made aware of just how close you really are. God, what is this boy doing to me? Shawn doesn’t seem to have a particular method to his actions; he just eats you out like he’s been starving, lips and tongue everywhere, licking and sucking. It’s kind of rushed, but oh dear God, is it good. And, besides, you really don’t need him to go slow.

His hands travel to your hips, and you understand his hint when he pushes you a little away from him. He comes up for air, and it’s such a sight to behold when you look down at him. The area around his mouth is absolutely covered in your juices, glistening in the light from the bedside lamp.

“You taste so good, baby,” Shawn pants, placing a few kisses on the inside of your thighs. “So sweet,” Your hand strokes his curls, all tousled and unruly from your treatment. “Wanna make you cum.”

You can’t resist a smirk. “Make me, then,”

Shawn curses under his breath, and then he can’t hold himself back anymore. Hands still on your hips, he begins to guide you back and forth, effectively making you grind against his tongue, making you ride his face. You have to hold back the cries that are so close to leaving your lips, knowing very well that you can’t be too loud.

You’re so close, and Shawn is doing his very best to please you, to push you over the edge. It’s like he keeps trying to pull you closer, although he’s already buried in you. He’s groaning and moaning against your pussy, clearly finding some kind of pleasure in this too. You’re trembling and shivering with every touch of his tongue, and you’re panting, mumbling barely coherent encouragements. You can feel it building inside you, that release you’ve been aching for. It builds and builds and builds, right until you can feel yourself right there at the edge of the cliff. And then you dive in.

There are no words to describe the feeling that courses through your body when your orgasm hits you. Words like mind-blowing, sensational and extreme all come to mind, but they’re simply not enough. You honestly have to hold back your noises because you know they would be far too loud. You can’t keep in a gasp of his name, though.

Shawn leads you through your release, slowing down gradually so you can come down. His hands gently stroke your skin in an attempt to calm you down. You’re still catching your breath when you start to move down his body, settling on his thighs, your own thighs still shaking with the aftershocks.

“Good boy,” you praise, and you catch how his cock twitches in the confinement of his boxers where his precum has created a small wet spot as well. “Such a good boy. All for me,”

He nods desperately. “All for you,”

Shawn seems to get the hint when you crawl up a little further up, and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. When you press your lips to his again, you’re still very much able to taste yourself. You’re not complaining, though. You deepen the kiss, your tongues meeting, and the taste of you is so strong on his that you actually moan into his mouth.

You don’t even mean to do it, but your hips grind down against his, and he moans right back. The friction is almost too much to bear for your sensitive sex, yet you need to feel it again. You grind against his clothed cock, feeling how hard it is for you.

Shawn whines when you draw away from his mouth, taking his bottom lip between your teeth before you let go completely. He doesn’t whine when you begin placing kisses down his neck and move further down, your kisses following. You pause for a few moments when you reach his abs, and then you lean in and lick a stripe up his six-pack. His muscles contract underneath your touch, and you enjoy how he makes this strangled noise in response, obviously having tried to muffle himself.

Upon reaching the waistband of his boxers with your kisses, you smirk. “Such a good boy deserves a reward, don’t you think?” He doesn’t answer, but you’re not surprised. He probably doesn’t want to be presumptuous. When you snap the elastic waistband against the skin of his stomach, he lets out a startled moan, and then he seems to understand what you’re asking him to do.

“Please, baby,” Shawn begs. “Please, just… please.”

Accepting his plead, you crawl back until you reach the end of the mattress, You keep eye contact as you move down to the foot of the bed and down to the floor, sinking to your knees. You yank on his one leg the tiniest bit, but he understands. Soon after, he’s wiggled down to where you want him, and Shawn sits up. He clearly wants to watch. He helps you to remove his boxers, and your mouth actually fucking salivates at the sight of his cock springing free. You don’t often call things perfect, but his cock certainly is. The perfect size, the perfect color, the perfect everything.

Shawn quite eagerly kicks off his underwear, desperate to be rid of them. He stares down at you, and you stare up at him. He’s leaking from the tip quite a lot, but that only makes your job easier. You don’t even have to spit on him or in your hand; he’s already lubricated himself enough. You maintain eye contact when you wrap your hand around him, and it’s almost amusing to watch how his eyes flutter, fighting the urge to close.

You tsk-tsk. “Keep your eyes on me, Shawn,”

It’s a challenge, and you’re aware. You want to challenge him. You run your thumb over his tip, spreading the precum over the length of him. He inhales sharply at your touch, and it makes you smile. You like knowing that you have an effect on him. His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, fingers digging into it.

“Y/N,” Shawn says, voice shaky. “I’m not-” He’s interrupted by a hiss from his own mouth when you touch his tip again. “Not gonna last long.” You appreciate the honesty, although you’re not surprised in the slightest. You’ve practically been edging him for hours now.

You pump a few times, revelling in his responses, before you lean in and press a kiss to his tip. His chest is heaving, his lip between his teeth, and he’s visibly struggling to hold back his noises. You kiss down to the base of him, and you take a second to consider what to do next.

You’re in a mood to make him suffer a little. And when you lick from base to tip, he definitely suffers. He whimpers, his knuckles turning white. You make sure to keep eye contact the first time you wrap your lips around his cock. He lets out this gasp in response, high-pitched and a bit too loud, and it only makes you want to go further. You keep your hand wrapped around him, and when you start to bob your head, your hand follows the rhythm.

The sounds of your movements are absolutely obscene, and you suspect it all looks just as obscene. His cock is warm and heavy on your tongue, his precum a bit salty. Sucking dick is usually not something you enjoy, but Shawn makes it more than enjoyable. His reactions are encouraging, gasps and moans and whimpers all revealing just how good you’re making him feel.

You can see how he struggles not to lift his hips and thrust into the warmth of your mouth. Had this been a different situation, you might’ve let him fuck your face, but you’re in control now. You want to take this at your pace.

Not that you have any intention of going slow, to be honest. You even let one hand go down to his balls, making sure to stimulate him even further. It takes Shawn by surprise, though. He loses control for just a moment, and his hips move up. The accusatory look you give him when you pull out for air has him apologizing in an instant, and you soon return to business as normal.

You become sloppier towards the end, something that he seems to like. He screws his eyes shut, but you don’t bother to chastise him because you know he’s getting to where you want him to be, and you can’t blame him for not being able to control his body right now. The bobs of your head begin to quicken, your saliva coating him thoroughly, and you just know he’s approaching his release. His cock is twitchy, his breathing is unbelievably unsteady, and the words that leave him are unintelligible, although you can hear that he’s trying to say something.

Shawn does manage to get something out. “Gonna… gonna cum,”

His warning is a nice gesture; it gives you time to pull off him. But you don’t. He’s been so good for you, and he deserves a treat. You only pull away the tiniest bit, resting his tip on your tongue, while your hand keeps pumping what used to be in your mouth. His one hand finally lets go of the mattress to cup the side of your face, and it’s an oddly cute thing to do.

When Shawn cums, he almost shouts out a curse, and it’s far too loud, but you really don’t care. You take everything he gives you, and it’s only when he jerks a little away from you that you let him go. He watches you swallow, and the sight seems to be a smidge overwhelming. He groans and falls back against the bed, covering his face with his hands, his chest heaving and all flushed. Shawn only removes his hands when you’ve crawled up, and you’re face-to-face again.

“Y/N, I… fuck,” he pants. “That was fucking insane, holy shit,” You giggle, stroking a few curls away from his sweaty forehead. “C’mere.” He brings you closer, and his lips find yours. To be honest, you’re kinda impressed. He definitely isn’t too touchy when it comes to tasting himself.

“So…” you begin when he releases you again. “Is performing still better than sex?” He raises his eyebrows, giving you a shit-eating grin.

“Hmm, yes,” Shawn answers and laughs, and you scoff as if truly offended. You know he’s playing with you. “Well, I didn’t get to hear you scream for me,” He smirks. “And when I perform, I usually have thousands of girls screaming for me.”

You roll your eyes. “Honestly? I could have screamed. But Niall would’ve heard, and I have the feeling I’d have to attend your funeral, then,”

Shawn playfully shrugs. “Would’ve been worth it,”

“Speaking of Niall, though,” you start, getting off the bed. “It’s been fun, but I should be going back to my room. Can’t be found with you in the morning, you know?” There’s a sort of sadness to Shawn when he nods and watches you get your clothes back on. “Goodnight, baby boy.”

-----------------

The next morning, you wake up with a grin on your lips. Thinking about what happened last night almost makes you ache again. You get up, and while you’re getting ready, the grin falls off your face. You can’t be sure what it’s gonna be like to see Shawn again. You don’t know what he’ll say. You can’t believe you even care, but you do.

So it’s with a slightly erratic heartbeat that you enter the kitchen a little later, but to your surprise, the only person you find there is Niall, cooking breakfast.

“Morning!” he greets and offers a smile. “Sleep well?” You feel the heat travelling to your cheeks at his question. If only you knew.

“Uh, yeah… yeah, I did,” you answer, and then you make a bit of a show of looking around the room. “Where’s Shawn?”

“Oh, he left for the studio about an hour ago,”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Niall replies and shrugs. “Said he found some inspiration during the night,” Oh god. “Dunno what he meant, but good for him. He’s been looking for it for quite a while.”

You know exactly what he meant.

-----------------

@sauveteen @peachnpomegranate @yellowitsmendes @me-a-hopeless-romantic @couple100miles @rishlo @bluerroses @nervousroses @shavvnmcndcs @crxssourbones @ashwarren32

#mine #text #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes smut #did i include a reference to one of my fave movies in this??#yes... yes i did

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soheila-1996 · 4 years

Text

My story- Part Thirteen

I have epilepsy. This details my seizures, I can’t speak for everyone, everyone’s seizures/ experiences are different. This is graphic. Seizures are messy. They aren’t fun and it felt wrong to make it out to be cute when they really aren’t. Pretty much all the things that happen in the plot have happened to me. Well, I’m not married to a king or live in a palace so…there’s that but everything else is accurate. There may be some jokes about it here because I do joke about it sometimes. It makes me more comfortable and I find it helps relax everyone around me. I’m also writing about it because there really aren’t that many fics written about it and I think it’s important to shine light on it.

Any feedback is really appreciated! :)

Tags: @kacie-0156 @texaskitten30, @cordonianroyalty, @kingliam2019 , @cordonia-gothqueen, @bobasheebaby @losingbraincellseveryday @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @jared2612 @flutistbyday2020 @debramcg1106 @anotherbeingsworld @leaharhys @cordoniaqueensworld @bascmve01

Paring: Liam and Riley

Warnings: SUICIDE ATTEMPT, mention of miscarriage.

Word count: 5,316

Catch up here

This one again is super personal to me. They all are personal in one way or another but this one and the one about my miscarriage are extremely personal.

I really debated writing this in but writing is such an amazing outlet. I was in such a dark place when I lost the baby last year and I didn’t see a way out so I did things that I’m not proud of. I tried to take my own life and now i’m so beyond happy that my attempt was unsuccessful, however, everything has just gone really wrong over the last few weeks and I’ve just started feeling really down again. Writing about my feelings is kind of helping me get out of this funk.

(Riley’s POV)

It’s now the next morning since I arrived back from the hospital. Liam, my parents and my brother had tried to get me to come out of my room but I was being a rebellious teenager and refused to open the door. I think Liam has slept in the spare room. We live in a literal palace so there’s plenty of space for him to stay. I don’t think any of them can understand how I’m feeling. I know that everyone has days when they feel down and a little depressed but I feel like this all the time. I’m numb. I go through my day like a robot. Physically I’m here but mentally I’m a million miles away. I just don’t feel anything anymore.

Everyday just blends in together until it makes no sense anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy. My memory has just gone; I don't even remember what I had for breakfast...If I had breakfast at all that is. I hate this so much.

I’ve taken my medication for the first time in a while earlier this morning after a heated debate with my parents. I struggle to see how any of them think that taking a few pills is going to do anything. It should stop the seizures but it’s not going to change how I feel.

I feel suffocated. I don’t need to be treated like I’m a baby. I’m just...I’m tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I’m just so exhausted all the time. I am sick of faking being happy; it doesn't work.

Losing the baby was just my breaking point and I’m not sure there’s any coming back from it. I don’t want to come back from it. Why would I want to carry on knowing that the rest of my life will be spent in fear of a seizure, that I might not be able to give my husband the one thing he wants more than anything, or with the possibility that I’ll get out of this hole and in a short while end up back here again?

I just want it to stop.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” I ask, bitterly. I’m sitting on the couch in silence with the rest of my family. I can feel Josh’s eyes on me. I turn to look at him as he averts his gaze. “If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

“Just talk to us, Ri,” my brother encouraged.

“About? I told you last night all you need to know. I’ve fucked everything up,” I say, raising my voice as I stand up.

“No, you haven't,” Josh insists.

I shake my head and let out a frustrated groan. When are they going to understand that telling me that everything is fine, that I didn’t fuck up isn't helping? It goes in one ear and out the other. I look back to Josh. “Why are you here, Josh? Who invited you?”

This isn't me. I’m not mean. I’m not like this. I love my brother, growing up he was my best friend but I just don’t care anymore.

“I don’t need my big brother to come and save the day. I’m an adult!” I yell. I’m so easily agitated. Maybe that’s down to the lack of sleep...I don’t know. “And you!” I yell as I turn my full attention to my husband. “You only care because it makes you look like a good person, doesn't it? Lovely, kind Liam married the girl with a disability!”

He looks stunned...maybe a little hurt even. Liam opens his mouth to speak but obviously decides against it. “H-how can you say that?”

“Because it’s true,” I shrug. Nobody says anything to object and in my head they’re just confirming it. It wouldn’t be the first time somebody has used me and my disorder to make themselves look like a better person.

Liam gets to his feet and attempts to step towards me. I hold up a hand to stop him. “Just leave me alone,” I command.

I move past him, grab my phone off the coffee table then I leave the apartment. I need to just be away from everyone.

I need some space.

Jacob and I have been getting particularly closer over the last few weeks. He had visited me a couple times while in the hospital and had been coming over after school. I’m still not back but my parents have agreed to let Jacob, Luna and a couple of my other friends come over.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my siblings and parents but I’m starting to get a little sick of being stuck with them all day. The house has currently been chaotic- Josh is moving out, he’s been saying this for a couple years though, to be fair he had actually moved out with his girlfriend but they had broken up. It was rather tragic actually. He really loved it. Casey is also about to move out and to Boston apparently.

Jacob and I are snuggled up on the couch, blanket draped over our legs, despite the fact it’s the middle of the summer in NYC. Although I’ve got the AC on high enough that at least we’re not dripping with sweat as we cuddle.

Sitting inside is not the ideal thing to do on such a beautiful day however, sometimes, much like now the heat has been known to cause more seizures. I don’t mind sitting inside though; I’m not really a fan of the sun, I burn really easily. That might possible be now to me being a ginger- the sun hates me.

Jacob is just amazing. Since he found out about my epilepsy he has been amazing. He makes sure that I’m on my side and helps me wake up when the seizure ends. Obviously, epilepsy is a big thing to deal with when you actually have it but it’s also a big thing for the people are you too but Jacob doesn’t seem bothered by it or is overly worried. It’s nice and refreshing to have somebody who isn’t constantly worried, however, we haven't really discussed it so he doesn’t know much about it.

We spend a little while longer watching celebrity masterchef- Jacob is from the UK and had introduced me to the show a little while ago as we talk about what it's like back in England. It’s nice learning about where he’s from. He’s lived in the States for a few years now but still has a very, very British accent.

“What triggers them?” Jacob asks, breaking the comfortable silence between us both. I look up to him with a raised eyebrow. “Your seizures. What triggers them?”

I clear my throat, thinking about what I'm going to say before I speak normally makes me stutter a little less. “Q-quite a few t-things. N-not taking m-my medication, sleep d-d-deprivation, s-stress, if I get t-too overwhelmed can t-trigger them, if I d-don't eat can s-sometimes cause them or if I get t-too hot.” I explain, internally cringing at how much I just stuttered. Speech therapy it helping, it’s not as bad as it used to be but it’s nowhere near back to how it was before. He nods. “W-When I-I was younger hot showers sometimes triggered them or caused an aura,” I add, “I-it doesn't really happen anymore. I-i-It’s a m-minefield s-s-sometimes.”

“Aura?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I nod, “N-not like a-a s-s-spiritual one. It's what t-t-the feeling you get before a s-s-seizure is c-called.”

“And you get that every time you’re about to have a seizure?”

“M-m-most of the time. Occasionally they just k-kinda happen but n-n-normally before a grand mal s-seizure I will. W-when I have absences they just happen b-but they’re m-much e-easier t-to recover from. They happen a-and then i-I’m fine s-straight away,” I explain.

“Absence?” he asks. It dawns on me that he really doesn't know much about my seizures or seizures in general other than the basic first aid while it’s actually happening.

I turn around to face him and bring my legs under me. I take some time to think about my sentence before I speak. “Yeah, there’s different types of s-s-seizures,” I tell him, “Grand m-mal s-seizures are the m-most r-recognisable s-seizure; it’s the m-most c-c-common one people think about but then there’s a few others. I have absence seizures which is when I kinda just s-stare off into space for a couple s-seconds. I’ve also had a couple m-m-myoclonic seizures too.”

“What’s that?”

“It n-normally happens in n-both arms but not always, your m-mouth can twitch and your jaw can jerk. It can happen to the head and neck too but the person is fully aware of what’s happening. They’re really scary- all types of seizures are.”

We talked for a little while longer about my epilepsy and eventually changed the subject to something a little happier. I was engrossed in our conversation when my stomach rolled.

Not now.

I took in a deep breath as I tried to get rid of the nausea. It doesn’t go away and my arm starts to tingle. “J-Jake, i-it might happen again,” I told him, panicked- this never gets easier.

He peeled his gaze off the tv and turned to me. “Ri, you had one this morning. Are you sure this is okay?” He asks me with concern.

It’s true I had one this morning but unfortunately my brain doesn’t really care about if I've already had one today. I’ve learned that it’s going to do whatever it wants and that I have no say in it.

Jacob helps me off the couch and onto the floor. This one is coming on really, really quickly. I don’t remember anything anymore; nothing makes sense. Basically, as soon as I’m laying down on the floor I’m consumed by blackness.

I’m now outside after storming off. Taking a walk through the palace grounds often helps me to clear my head. I’m head to the garden maze- that’s my favourite place. The place I can go to and just clear my head and attempt to make sense of everything.

Everything is a mess. Why can’t I just open up to people? Why can’t I be honest with people about how I’m feeling? There’s thick dark grey clouds looming over me. It’s going to rain. Great. Even the weather seems to be in sync to how I’m feeling.

I want to be able to open up. I want to stop feeling like this but do I deserve to feel better? I don’t think I do.

Ben constantly made me feel like shit and so did all his friends. My teenage years especially were made up of people telling me that I’m worthless or should’ve died and now it’s made up of having everything that I want so incredibly badly taken away from me.

Is there any point to any of this anymore? I can’t seem to find one.

Josh, my mom and dad, Liam, my friends all ask me if i’m okay and I say i’m fine. It’s a habit. I tell them that I’m okay while I’m screaming on the inside that I’m not; praying that they’ll continue to push me enough so I finally break and tell them...but they don’t. They think giving me space and time is helping me but while I’m alone I just dig myself a deeper hole; one that I’m never going to be able to escape from.

Every time they leave me alone it's like they’re putting me back into a cell, all by myself, alone with these crippling thoughts. My mind is a prison and I’m never getting out.

I continue to walk for a little while longer. It’s cold and I can feel the rain lightly starting to fall but I don’t want to go back. Not yet.

I can feel the salty tears streaming down my cheeks but I don’t wipe them away. What’s the point? They’ll just soon be replaced with more.

My family, my friends, my husband...they hate me don’t they? I snapped at Josh, at Liam...I- I suddenly come to a halt when my stomach rolls and I feel that all too familiar feeling again.

My arm is beginning to tingle, everything is growing more and more confusing. The one thing I know is that I want my husband. I want Liam.

Why was I so mean to him? He was only trying to help.

He’s going to be even more angry at me after this. I can’t tell him; he’ll be mad. I think for a second. There’s one other person that won’t be mad at me...

Casey- my doctor sister.

I retrieved my phone from my back pocket, nearly dropping it onto the floor in the process. I clumsily find her contact and type out a barely coherent text.

Me: Im goins to hsve a seizure

Even auto-correct can’t help me. The device in my hand makes a sound just seconds later as a reply comes in.

Casey: Like right now?

My vision is starting to blur and I know longer know how to respond to my sister. Nothing makes sense.

The device starts to vibrate and sound comes from it too. I fumble with it and manage to answer.

“Hello?” I asked, my voice slurred. I try to hold the device to my ear but coordination is not something I possess right now so it rests on my cheek. I’m sure this isn’t right.

“Ri?” My sister’s concerned voice sounded through the device, “Where are you?”

“I..”

“Where’s Liam, Ri? What’s going on?” She sounds serious.

“He doesn’t w-want t-to,” I stutter. I can feel the tears starting to prick at my eyes.

“He’s mad,” I slur.

“Where are you?”

“O-outside,” I stutter.

“Can you lay down on your side for me?” She directs me gently. I comply and lower myself down onto the wet grass and lay on my side. I can feel something hitting me...like rain.

“He’s mad,” I whisper. That’s all I know; Liam’s mad at me and won’t want to help me.

“He still wants to help you,” She told me but I don’t believe her. “Riley, I need you to stay on your side for me, okay? I’m going to call Liam.” I think she’s hung up I can’t hear her anymore.

I close my eyes; feeling my body be covered in goosebumps as the freezing cold rain hammers down. “H-He’s m-m-mad at m-me.” That’s the last thought I have, the last thing I can say before the world goes black.

(Drake's POV)

I’m out on my morning run on the way back to the palace now. Rain has started to pour and the crisp air has started to sting at my exposed arms, legs and face.

I’m jogging along the path on the way back to the palace when I notice somebody laying on the grass. I slow down a little and change direction to head over.

As I get closer I realise that it’s Riley so pick up my jog. I finally reach her and kneel down beside her. I lean over her slightly to look at her face, her eyes are closed and a little blood is pooling out of her mouth. Without thinking, I wipe it away and onto my black shorts. I then brush hair away from her face. My hand brushes against her skin- she’s freezing. Based on the fact that the blood is still wet I concluded that the seizure must’ve stopped really recently so I lift her up into my arms and head back inside.

As I enter the palace, I see Liam walking down the grand staircase. I see tell by the expression he’s got on his face that’s her scared and panicked. He visibly relaxes when he see’s us. Liam hurries down the rest of the steps and over to us.

“Is she okay?” Liam asked, his voice wavers ever so slightly.

I don’t really know the answer to that question though. I mean, I’m only guessing she had a seizure based on how I found her. I shrug, “I-I just found her outside and- “

“Her sister just called me,” Liam told me, “Casey said that Riley thought she’s going to have a seizure.” Liam held out his arms to me and I gently place Riley in his arms. “She’s freezing.”

We head away from any prying eyes of any of the staff into a nearby drawing room. Liam gently places her down on the floor on her side and takes a blanket off the couch and lays it over her. He then kneels down beside her and slips her jacket, tossing it carelessly to the side. He then slips off her soaking wet shoes and socks, discarding of them in the same way.

“Where was she?” Liam asked as I perched on couch.

“Near the entrance to the maze.” Liam nods and I can sense there’s something going on. Is that any of my business though? Probably not but I can see that whatever is happening, what ever happened is starting to take a toll on him.

He looks like he hasn’t slept. I can see that he’s been crying but his red-rimmed eyes. I’ve never seen him look so..broken before.

“What’s going on, Li?”

I’ve never seen him life this and this has me feeling a little panicky. Liam clear wants to cry, his eyes are welling up to the brim but he’s holding it in. He doesn’t take his gaze off of her as he continues running his fingers through her damp hair.

“She called Casey because,” Liam pauses, his voice cracking, “Because she was afraid to tell me, that I would be mad,” He told me, avoiding my question.

“You know she’s not herself when she’s like this.” I try to reason, “She was just confused, Li.”

Liam doesn’t say anything and I can take the hint that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Riley’s actions have hurt him- that much is obvious.

It’s a couple minutes later when Riley’s eyes start to flutter. I get to my feet and clear my throat to get my friends attention.

“I’ll leave you guys to it.” Liam gives me an appreciative nod as I take my leave.

(Riley’s POV)

The first thing I notice is the feeling of cold, wet clothes clinging to my body. Goosebumps spread across my skin. I open my eyes fully and notice a hand laying in front of me.

... Where am I?

I soon realise that the hand is mine as i lift a finger. It’s almost like I’m underwater, my hearing is muffled but I can just about hear something....maybe someone....shifting on the floor next to me?

..What’s happening?

I can feel myself beginning to panic. My heart is pounding. Everything seems loud. Why? It’s almost like it’s reverberating as a wall of sound hits my ears. It takes me some time to realise that the only sound other than my breathing and heart beat is a voice? It’s saying words that I don’t understand in my confusion. They’re speaking a language that makes no sense to me right now.

I make my best effort to move away but I barely shift an inch. I’m really trying to escape but I can’t. Why can’t I move? A helpless, scared cry escapes my mouth. I feel terrified as I see the figure move in front of me.

As they shift into my line of vision, their features become clear and the words they’re speaking, the strange language becomes less jumbled and more coherent.

“Love, love come on it’s alright. It’s over now, love. I’m here.” I realise that I know how that voice belongs to. That face.

There’s something about it that feels familiar, safe even. I look up at him, a strand on dirty blonde hair falls over his face that he soon pushes away. “Hey, Riley,” he says, gently. I can see his mouth moving but I’m still not sure who the man is. “It’s Liam.”

Liam- that name….I know that name I realise.

Liam.

I exhale and relax into the hard floor beneath me. He seems to notice my more relax body language and shifts closer to me.

“You had a seizure,” he explains to me. I wrinkle my eyebrows in confusion, the last thing I remember was walking outside. h-how did I end up in here? “Drake brought you inside. It was raining and you were freezing.”

I nod and with his help, I manage to sit myself up. I wipe my mouth, it comes away with a red substance on the back. I’m still a little out of it and I don’t realise that it’s blood.

Everything begins to come back to me- I snapped at Liam. He’s angry at me, he’s upset with me. I accused him of something I know that he’d never do. I look up at him but I can’t read him. He’s angry.

He’s so mad.

My eyes begin to well up. It’s made such a mess out of everything, he’s mad at me, he doesn't love me anymore, he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I shift away from him and he looks almost surprised. Is that worry flashing across his face?

No, no, it can’t be. He’s mad.

“You’re okay, Love,” He tells me. He tries to reach out to me to pull me back over but I continue to shift away, I nearly topple over- I still don’t have full control over everything just yet “You’re okay, Riley,” he tries again, “Everything’s okay.”

It’s not. Nothing is okay. Nothing is ever going to be okay. I’ve made such a colossal mess of everything.

I shake my head at him as tear slips down my cheek. Liam instinctively reaches out to try and brush it away but I move away from him.

I look away from him to take in my surroundings. I looked down realising I’m now missing my jacket, shoes and socks and a blanket is down draped over me. I think back to what Liam had said as some of the puzzle pieces slot back into place. It was raining...I remember that. At least now I under why my clothes are soaking wet.

“Ri,” Liam calls, moving closer to me. I scoot away from him once again. His face falls and I’m pretty sure I can now see his eyes starting to well up. “Please.” He sounds defeated. He sounds scared and upset and that’s all my fault.

I look up at him to see some tears trickle down his face. I want to cry to but why should I be allowed to feel upset? I caused this. This is my doing. I’ve wrecked everything single-handedly.

This is the first time that I’ve really looked at me. There’s big bags under both his eyes, his hair is unkempt, he even looks as if he’s lost a little weight, there’s stubble on his usually clean shaven face.

I’ve broken him. I’ve broken the man that I’m supposed to love and protect.

** It’s a couple hours later. It’s night now and I’ve been tossing and turning in this bed for what seems like hours. Liam and i had both returned to our quarter after that incident. I had headed to bed and had fallen asleep soon after only to wake a short time later and had spent the rest of the day laying in bed staring at the ceiling. I must’ve fallen back into my slumber at some point because I woke back up to find myself wrapped in my husbands arms and him sleeping soundly beside me. That all happens hours earlier though and i still haven’t been able to drift back off enough then I’m exhausted.

It’s hard to remember a time when I didn't feel utterly useless and hopeless. It amazes me how I’ve somehow managed to convince people that I’m okay for years. How I’ve some how managed to convince my family and friends that I’m okay with a fake smile when they are the people who are supposed to know me better than anyone; the people who are supposed to call me out on my bullshit.

Liam is sleeping beside me so I quietly got out of the end and headed down the hall to our home study. I close the door half way and I switch on the desk lamp that sits on the corner of the desk. I plop down into the seat behind the desk and open the notebook sitting in the middle and pick up a pen out of the pit.

Dear Liam,

First things first, this isn't your fault. I need you to know that. I know that you’ll blame yourself but I don’t want you to.

I’m not really sure what to say or how to explain this to you.

Everything is just so hard. Most of the time, I’m able to handle it and keep going with my life without my daily routine being affected too much but not anymore. I’m stuck in possibly the worst depressive episode that I’ve ever been in and I just don’t see a way out, Li.

I know that I should just talk to you but when I try there’s a voice at the back of my mind screaming at me that I’m nothing but a burden to you, my parents, our friends. I’m not sure when I started feeling like this. At some point everything started to feel pointless, I'm just not sure when.

You’ve made me so happy, Liam. I love you. I love that since you found out about my epilepsy you haven’t treated me like a kid or let it define our relationship. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry that I scare you every time it happens. I’m sorry that I lost our baby. I’m sorry that I’ve shut down and pushed you away since it happened. I’m sorry that I’m not the woman that you married or at least I don’t feel like her anymore.

There’s not one reason why I’m doing this. There isn't a clear explanation. So many things have contributed to this but none of them are your fault. If I were to try and explain this feeling to you or my parents or anyone; you’d all say something along the lines of ‘it’ll get better’ ‘this is a long term solution for a short term problem’ or ‘ You’ve still got your entire life ahead of you’- the problem is that I don’t want it. There’s nothing more to it. I just don’t want to be here anymore. It's all just too hard.

I’m sorry; I know this will hurt you for a short while but you’ll move on. You’ll be okay. You’ll be amazing. I promise. I know I have no right to ask anything of you right now but...be happy. That’s all I want.

I love you.

Goodbye, Liam .

I place down the pen and look down at my letter. There’s a couple tears stains on it now but none of the words have been smudged.

I carefully tear out the page from the notebook and get to my feet. I quietly pad down that hall to our bedroom; Liam is thankfully still asleep. I stay in the doorway for a few minutes watching him sleep. In a short few hours he’ll wake up and I’ll be gone.

I place the note down on my bedside table then enter the bathroom that’s conjoined to our bedroom. I quietly closed the door and headed over the sink counter top.

I sniffle and wipe at both my nose and eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie. I look at my reflection; I look dead already. I don’t look like me...like a human. I don’t recognise myself at all anymore.

I glance away from the mirror and caught sight of the little muti-coloured pill containers just in front of me. It’s like it's screaming out my name, telling me to just down them all and it’ll be over. Take the pills and not wake back up. There’s not a doubt in my mind; I just want it all to stop. I can’t do this anymore- I don't want to. I can’t.

If I do it, Liam will be happy that he won’t have to worry about me anymore. No one will have to spend time and energy worrying about me anymore.

I picked up the container and popped open each little compartment and tipped them into my hand. A couple of them roll out of my hand on fall to the floor but there’s enough in my hand to do the job already.

I placed them into my mouth and swallowed them dry. I cough as they nearly get stuck going down my throat. I’m not sure how I feel right now. It’s an indescribable feeling that I can’t quite explain.

I know that It’ll soon be over, I thought I would feel relief but I...I’m scared. I still feel relief because I know that this’ll all be over soon but I’m not so sure that this was the best decision.

I feel regret for a brief moment before I remember why I’m doing this and that feeling ebbs away. This is right decision- I’m positive.

It’s a couple minutes later when I’m startled when I hear someone knocking on the door. I freeze and turn to slowly look at it.

“Riley? Honey, open the door.” That’s my mom. Why does she want? How does she even know it’s me. “Ri, you’ve been in here a long time. Please open the door, so I know you’re okay. Please?”

I forgot she was an night owl- she must’ve been in the living room or something and saw me come in here.

“I- I’m a little busy right now,” I called back. I just hope she’ll buy that and leave me alone. She doesn't need to see this.

Shit- I forget someone will come in here when it’s over and find me. I hadn’t thought of that.

I hear a brief commotion… more voices….more people are outside. Someone bangs on the door. “Riley, open the door.”

That’s Liam. Shit.

I catch sight of my reflection in the mirror. My skin is pale and beads of sweat are now forming on my forehead.

I don’t feel so good.

I wave my hands in front face to try and cool myself down. I’m so hot.

“Ri, It’s dad, open the door,” My dad pleads, “Honey, please open the door.”

I think someone just rammed into the door. It happens again and the door flies open, the frame splintering. Liam is the first person I see...kind of , my vision is starting to blur. I sway back and forth, I feel so out of it.

“What did you do?!” my dad yells. Somebody is holding me up, I can feel someones arms wrapped around my waist. I think it’s Liam.

I’m dizzy.

I hear my mom let out a sob. “Riley!”

The voices around me, the terrified screams of my family don’t register. I stumble back into my husband’s chest. My knees buckle and I’m vaguely aware of being lowered down onto the floor.

I’m barely aware of what’s going on around me, the flurry of people, nothing makes any sense. All I know is that I don’t feel good and I’m scared.

I’m trying to pay attention to what’s happening but I’m tired. I’m so tired and sleep is calling my name. My eyes flutter shut and I’m consumed by darkness.

#my story #tw sucidal thoughts #tw suicide #tw seizure #tw overdose #tw mention of miscarriage #the royal romance #trr #epilepsy #tw; depression #trr choices #choices #liam x riley #soheila-1996 writes

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torvus-bong · 4 years

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Healing update!

I got my drains removed today. They said everything looks great so far, and I can take the dressings off and shower for realsies on Thursday! I'm very thankful for this as I am sick of sponge baths. This is also when I'll get to see it for the first time, I was lying down while the nurse did the change and tube removal and I was already bandaged up again by the time I sat up. I'm a little anxious about that, but optimistic because she said it looks pretty good.

Also, sleep has been near impossible. It was for the first three nights. As a side sleeper, sleeping on my back is a fucking nightmare. After nearly a week though, I'm starting to adjust.

Overall the pain level is bearable with the meds they gave me. I alternate between a powerful NSAID and an opiate painkiller every two hours and that keeps things at bay. The few times I've forgotten and not been on top of it, my god did it start to hurt bad. I'm thankful that they work.

~~note: this point forward is a vent about my lack of post surgery support~~

What has been the largest damper on it all is the fact that my sibling, who lives here at my residence with my roommate and I, had offered to be the primary caregiver after surgery, and then promptly failed to do so. They did hard drugs with their friends barely 24h after I'd been discharged from surgery - and thought it was appropriate because they're "high functioning on it" (newsflash: they werent) and the result was that I was alone all morning and part of the afternoon throwing up and in pain while they slept it off. They proceeded to check on me a grand total of one time that day, after rolling out of bed at 2pm, and then not at all in the days following. I was righteously pissed about it, expressed this, they apologized. I forgave them. Can ya guess what happened?

They decide to get even more neglectful and flaky. Then they tell me because their friend died they're leaving the city for an unknown number of days because they offered to clean this friends house out. Bruh. You already had obligations to me. I mean sure, take a fucking day or two for a funeral, compromise with me so the load isnt so heavy on you because grief - but don't claim you're sorry then weaponize your grief as a reason to shirk your responsibilities entirely and get away from my disappointment and frustration with you. Which may sound harsh, but is honest-to-god exactly what they did.

the real kicker? I was supposed to be getting an apartment with them, already made the deposit and everything, and even after treating me like shit for a few days was like "so am I taking in these forms to the property manager?" no honey, not anymore; I wont take a chance on you with a year long lease when you've demonstrated firsthand your lack of responsibility and foresight. I laid it all out in stern but civil terms why I was angry, why I won't get an apartment with them, and why saying you'll be there and then not being there isnt appropriate in this situation, and that truly sorry people usually act to show that. and if they didnt understand that concept (the "show you're sorry" bit) then I clearly made the right decision.

their response was underwhelming. I expected better. but it laid bare their lack of coping skills with any kind of conflict at all, and how much growing they still need to do (they're 23) in combination with everything else in know about them. they were cherry-picking stuff from my explanation and ignoring large swathes of what I was saying to fit their narrative of "actually I'm the one on the high road lol I see the kind of person you are" the yielding, compromising, forgiving kind of person? the fool me once, but you wont fool me twice kinda person? the 'I expect you to be there when you promised to be there, especially after you said sorry' kinda person?

I know I am not perfect. no one is. but to claim that I'm some kinda shitty abusive person (they really made a fb post calling me abusive bc I wouldnt move out w them shortly after I broke the news) because I called them out in an appropriately communicative manner and am hurt that they abandoned me, literally fucking left the city, in a time of need? that's bullshit. the bulliest of shit. it is not unreasonable for me not to want to live with them, given all of this. but at least the falling out happened now, and not after we had already committed to a year lease. God knows they would have noped the fuck out at the first sign of conflict.

TDLR; my flakey sibling screwed me over in the post-surgery care department hard, acted incredibly childish upon being called out, and I've been scrambling every single day to find people to come help me look after myself and keep my room in living order. BUT other than that, and the sleep troubles, recovery is going rather good!

#personal #so sorry about the lengrh #im just so mad at them #:(

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songsofacagedbird · 4 years

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Self Para 002: I'm Feeling Helpless; the Damsels Are Depressed

Note: Okay so my version of self care is hurting my muses’, so I wrote this during all my kidney stuff as a way to like kinda get my mind off of it I debated if I should post this because it really was just self indulgent but since it’s set in Luxor AU and one thing mentioned it is gonna come up later on, I’ll share. (Although this isn’t required reading to understand Balo (or Ches’s) character arcs in the slightest so please don’t feel any pressure, when the thing comes up you don’t need this context).

Word Count: 2,498

TWs: Abuse (referenced), HIV, Mental Health Struggles, Disownment, Ches’s horrible sense of humor

Sunlight poured through the windows of the study hall as Balo quietly sketched. She’d given up trying to get actual work done an hour ago; learning wasn’t happening - she was thinking way too much. While she knew it was important to stay focused - if her grades slipped, she’d no longer be allowed to participate in the sports she’d worked so hard to be allowed back into - it was hard sometimes. How could she pretend everything was okay a little over a month after her world fell apart? She knew she was expected to have it together, but things kept slipping through the cracks.

Sometimes Balo questioned what would have happened if she hadn’t synced her medications with Ches. By the time she’d whispered her diagnosis to her, the puzzle pieces had already been in place. The unspoken knowledge hanging the air until she had simply cleared it out. What would have happened if she hadn’t gone to the college freshman in hopes it’d help her to remember her medications back during the initial testing phase? Would she have even figured it out?

The longer she thought about it, the more she leaned towards yes.

How long would it be until everyone else caught on to exactly what was wrong with her? Her ability to pretend like everything was sunshine and rainbows had needed to be put on hold. Her insecurities shined through even more than usual in its place. How long would it be until Caitriona tired of her, or till Jack remembered he’d had better friends and phased her out? Would it be weeks or months until her siblings followed their parents’ lead and disassociated themselves from her too? And what would the rest of the Hundred Acre Woods chat say as they finally figured out that even her own parents didn’t even want her anymore? That she’d been so bad they needed to turn their backs on her. Had her mother found out about the fact she’d swore? Was it her karma for feeling the one emotion she’d been taught would make her a horrible person?

It only took one thought to get thrown back in the spiral, currents of fear dragging her under. She’d known she’d never be enough for her father, of course. She was too soft, too artistic, too dumb, or shamed for her knowledge, and she messed up consistently. Everything he despised, with the list of reasons growing ever longer as the days went on.

As the tears start to roll down her cheeks, Balo rapidly shuts her sketchbook so she can stuff it into her bag. Had anyone in the study hall noticed the shape she was in? She wasn’t sticking around to find out. The sooner she left, the better. She barely keeps herself from running through the study hall, and she only picks up her pace once she enters the crowded halls. The faces blur together as she rushes towards her room, any attempts to slow her down easily ignored as she focuses on just getting to her destination.

Once she’s in the common room, she tries her best to muffle her sniffles, unlocking her door as quietly as she can manage without disturbing her roommate. The last thing she needed was Jenevieve to see her like this. They weren’t close, and she couldn’t put on an act, not today, when she was back in the rabbit hole.

She shuts her door quietly, not even bothering to lock it as she drops her bag on her floor next to her desk. The tears are in full force by the time she sits down, and she pulls out her sketchbook again. She doesn’t have to wait long before an idea pops in her head, and she’s grabbing her charcoals from the drawer to get started. She doesn’t look up as she pours her emotions into the page; even as the sun begins to set, her blue eyes are fixated on the page as her charcoal moves across it.

It isn’t until her bedroom door creaks open does she glance away, her head whipping around to see who was disturbing her. She only starts to relax when she sees it’s Ches, although her relief is short-lived as her friend turns on her bedroom light and settles down on her bed. “You skipped dinner again. Are you feeling okay?”

“I wasn’t hungry.” Balo responds immediately, “I appreciate you checking on me, of course, but I’m okay! Perfect, actually! I’ve never ever been better, ever. I’m just working on a project. It’s just taking up a lot of time, I’m great!” It’s a lie, one she knows her friend will pick up on as soon as it leaves her mouth. Maybe she needed better lines, prettier words to distract from just how awful she felt. She doesn’t even have to watch Ches’s expression to know she knew better, and as the guilt creeps up on her for lying, the truth bursts out. “I can’t stop trying to figure out where I went wrong and how long it’ll be until things get worse. I had to do something to deserve everything going on, right? And what if whatever it was was so bad that everyone hates me?”

“B, if you did something that horrible, you’d know what it was. I promise you, fuck ups that big can’t be missed.”

“My parents thought...”

“Your father is a waste of oxygen, and your mother is... well, sometimes things are complicated.” The look on Ches’s face when she discusses Balo’s parents is one of disdain, but she still seemingly makes an effort to censor her opinion of her mother. Undoubtedly another attempt to keep herself from hurting Balo.

The blonde goes back to working on her sketch, not quite sure what to say. Most of her friends had some sort of parental figure to go to if they needed to. Who did she have? Zander, who she didn’t feel like she should go to with her problems because he’d find some way to twist it into Jack’s fault, and Ivan, who had more than enough stuff on his plate without his little sister being added to it. She knew her friends were only trying to help, of course, but hearing she was better off didn’t ease just how much it hurt every time she tried to call her mother, and she didn’t pick up.

For a few minutes, silence settles in. But, just as Balo is finding the lack of discussion comfortable, Ches shatters it. “I know it’s hard to believe that you’re going to be okay, but things are going to get better. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay in the mean-”

The words cause something to snap in her, and she whips around to look at her friend again. “If I don’t pretend I’m okay, everyone will leave. It’s already been a month. Nobody wants to hear me whine, Ches.” She winces at just how loud her voice is, but the girl she shouted at doesn’t seem surprised by the outburst.

“That’s not true; I want to hear it.”

“You want to hear about how tired I am of hearing everyone saying they know how I feel when they can only sympathize? None of you know what it’s like to have HIV and be terrified all the time that you’ll somehow hurt everyone you love because of it. And every time you try to paint it as a good thing, my parents disowned me, it hurts. I can’t call Ivan because he needs to focus on his studies, and Zander is so stressed lately I don’t want to add more to his plate either.” Balo can’t stop the tears of frustration that fall as she talks to Ches. “Do you really want to hear me sulk?”

“Yes, and I think your brothers would also want you to come to them. Zander’s really worried about you, and from what you’ve told me about Ivan, I’m sure it’s killing him he’s not here. It’d kill me if I wasn’t.” The redhead opens her arms, and the gesture is all it takes for her to get up and steal a hug. “I’m sorry I’ve been making things worse, Balo.”

“It’s fine.” Despite her frustration, she knew she was only trying to help. It wasn’t her fault Balo didn’t want to hear it.

“It’s not fine, but now I’m aware, I can keep it in mind.” Ches squeezes her tightly, reaching up to try to smooth out Balo’s hair as she talks. “As for making us sick too, you have nothing to worry about. You’re being careful, right? Haven’t been sharing needles with anyone? Not supplying your blood to bathe virgins in or anything?”

“That’s not funny.” Balo knew she was trying to lighten the mood, but she didn’t find it amusing. She was seriously concerned. What if she messed up and she didn’t catch it? She still had no idea how she got HIV, even when she ran through the possibilities in her head. It still didn’t make sense. “I feel like I should tell the rest of the Hundred Acre Woods at least, but I can’t shake the feeling everyone will turn their backs on me too.”

“If you decide to tell the rest of our friends - nobody will go anywhere, not even Avery. We care about you, and frankly, it doesn’t fucking matter as long it’s managed and you’re okay. You being healthy and happy is all that matters. You’re not a walking biohazard or whatever the intrusive thoughts are saying. And if you get hurt, and you’re concerned about it - I’ll handle it. Okay? I’m on PReP, I’ll be fine. But none of us are going anywhere; that’d be like turning your back on someone with cancer - nobody in our friend group is that horrible of a person.”

The lack of sugarcoating in Ches’s words threw her off for a moment. There was no dancing around the point. She’d just said what she was thinking, without hesitation or pause. Finally, after a moment, she starts to protest; “you say that but family is supposed to be unconditional love, and my parents-”

“Your parents aren’t the only family you have. You have your brothers and Fettuccine, you have Caitriona and Jack, and you have us. What happened with your parents is gonna sting like a bitch, but they’re not all you have. You still have a family. Plus, when winter break comes up, we’re going to be fighting over who brings you and Zander home. I was about ready to off Jack when you said you thought you’d be staying with him this summer. I thought I’m supposed to be your parabatai.”

This time there’s no urge to tell Ches she’s not funny, perhaps because this time it’s obvious she’s serious about the fact that no matter what, she still had a place to go. If not with Ivan or Cait, she had one with Ches or Jack. None of them were going to leave her alone, although she hoped they wouldn’t fight over her. That’d be excessive. “You are my parabatai; we just have to wait a year to get tattoos.” Balo can even hear the first hints of a smile in her words as the tears start to slow down.

“Or, if your doctor says you’re good to go, we can do it before we leave France. You’re above the age of 16, it’s legal. I could ask my cousins who they’d recommend. Maybe we could drag your brother along to get that second tattoo he keeps salivating over too?” Ches seems serious about the idea, but before Balo can tell her yes, she’s continuing. “We can discuss that later, though.”

But she didn’t need to wait until later to know she’d be checking to make sure there weren’t any concerns about her getting a tattoo. They’d been discussing it for years, a parabatai rune on one of their pinkies. “I’ll ask at my next appointment.” Balo decides without hesitation, “hopefully, the answer is yes.”

“If it’s not, we’ll get them when the time comes. There’s no rush, we have forever, but you’re not throwing me off that easily. I’m really sorry about your mom, sunshine.” Of course, Ches had to bring it back to the problem at hand; there was no brushing it under the rug and skipping off into the sunset with her. Not with stuff like this, at least.

“I just wish she’d tell me herself she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I knew dad was mad about Caitriona, but I didn’t ever think she’d just... why can’t she just answer the phone?” The words are little more than a sob as she brings herself down to her knees and clings to her friend tighter. “Why doesn’t she want me anymore?”

“I’m sorry.” For the first time in years, Ches seems at a loss for words as she runs her fingers through her blonde hair. There are no attempts at a joke, no moment of insight to follow up with, and at the realization, she can’t help but cry harder again.

It’s not surprising when her friend opens her mouth again, You Are My Sunshine comes out instead of words. As she sings, Balo tries to focus on it instead of the thoughts swirling around in her head again. The further into the song she gets, the more she starts to relax.

Finally, when the song is done, she says the first thing on her mind. “Can I sleepover at yours tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course. Come on, I’ll make you dinner, and we can watch Disney movies. I’ll even let you make me watch Snow White if you’d like. I just lost my roommate, so there’s nobody to mind.”

At Ches’s words, she pulls away, nodding at the reassurance that she wouldn’t be disturbing anyone. After she stands up, she packs her sketchbook, her toothbrush, and a change of clothes into her bag. For a moment, she hesitates before she grabs the stuffed animals, her droid, and the doll on her dresser - hoping Ches wouldn’t mind her bringing them along. “I heard someone had all their stuff destroyed by the circle once, and I’d feel better if I didn’t leave them alone overnight just in case.”

“They can sleep on my dresser tonight, I don’t mind.” Ches shrugs as she offers Balo her hand. She reaches out to grasp it quickly, following her friend when she leads her out of the room and locking the door on her way out.

Maybe things weren’t okay yet, and it’d probably be a while until they were, but the more she leaned on her friends - the more she realized maybe she didn’t have to have it all together yet. She’d get there eventually, but, until then, they weren’t going anywhere. Maybe her parents didn’t want her, but they did.

And at that moment, that was enough.

#i mean tbh i know it's hard to believe but I hold back the majority of the intermuse content I DO try #i legit was never going to post this #but I had three people screaming in my ear about loving my intermuse dynamics #and these two ARE the faves like fuck Ches/Zander and Balo/Zander - Balo/Ches is the crown jewel SO #( I love the entire core 4's who am I kidding )#a dream is a wish your heart makes ( musings )#do you remember when we learned how to fly? | ches & zander #guys I'm not tagging Ches's sense of humor that was a bad joke XD #abuse tw #hiv tw #mental illness tw #disownment tw #but tell me when will my life begin? ( self paras )

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staticscreenwriting · 4 years

Text

Casual moths - chapter seven

Find the other parts on my masterlist here.

If you liked this part and wanna help me out, please consider a reblog. Thank you.

Chapter seven - ice-cream and cuddles

Angel is leaning against the side of the building, cigarette dangling from his hand. Every once in a while his gaze drifts back towards the big front windows of the ice cream shop. Callie and Daisy are sitting in one of the booths with the bright blue plastic benches. Daisy is happily pointing at pictures in the menu in front of her, no doubt trying to decide which flavour to chose.

He can’t hold back the smile pulling at his lips as he thinks back to a moment ago when Daisy spotted him waiting in the car as Callie picked her up from her mother’s place. There’s an infinite amount of adoration and affection in her whenever she interacts with him and though he knows kids get infatuated with just about anyone, it still fills him with pride to know that she likes him this much. That she likes having him around.

Some irresponsible, delusional part of his brain conjures up thoughts of a future much like this. One where the club doesn’t get tangled in cartel shit anymore. Where violence and death doesn’t pave his way. Where he can lead a good life with his girls. Maybe have a little house with a garden and a pool for Daisy to swim. They could get a dog, a big fluffy one. And maybe someday down the line he’d get Callie pregnant again. See her carry his baby. Give Daisy a sibling. They’d have so much love to give. One thing Angels knows for sure, never would any of his children (blood related or not) feel inadequate. Never would they be made to feel like they had to compete for his love. He’d remind them of it every damn day, so much so that they’d probably grow sick and tired of their old dad. He wouldn’t care though as long as they knew they were loved unconditionally.

A future like that, he can almost see it, it’s there in front of him just waiting for him to reach out and grab it. But he can’t. Because he knows that no matter how much he wants it and no matter how close and real it seems, it’s just a dream. Though the movies and songs always tell you to do it, chasing your dreams is dangerous, it’s scary. Because there comes a point when maybe you can’t catch up anymore, where you have to admit to yourself that it won’t happen. And what then ? The movies never talk about that. About the heartbreak and the pain.

So he tries to keep those thoughts pushed to the back of his mind and just enjoy the time he’s given with these two ladies, however short or long that will be.

The ringing of his phone shakes him from his daydream and, after stomping out the bud of his cigarette, he answers.

“ Took you long enough. What held you up, man ? Your kid got her hands on a screwdriver again ? “

Coco’s unamused chuckle sounds through the receiver, “ very funny. You should be a fucking comedian “.

“ Tell me something I don’t know. “

“ So, what’s got your balls in a twist then ? “

“ Someone trashed Callie’s Flower shop and I need to find the guy. “

“ Shit, really ? How bad is it ? She alright ? “

“ She’s not hurt but that shop is her baby. And that guy, he’s been stalking her for a while now. So me crazy delusional ex. He needs to go Coco. “

“ Geez man, ya know I have your back but — “

“ I don’t wanna kill him. I just wanna scare him off. “

Yet. He doesn’t wanna kill him yet. If this whole scaring off thing doesn’t work, Angel is not afraid to move on to more drastic measures. That’s both a vice and a virtue, he thinks, once someone means something to him, he’s willing to do everything to keep them safe. He’s fiercely protective, loyal to his family, to the people he — loves.

Killing that guy is not something he wants to do necessarily, but he will if it comes to it, if he has to. Coco doesn’t need to know all that though, not right now.

“ You know where to find this guy ? “

“ Not yet. I got the prospect watching her house. If I ain’t with her I’ll have him watch her every step. “

“ So what do you need me for ? “

“ I uh — kinda wanna fix shit at the store, kinda rebuild it. “

“ Angel. “

“ Look, I’ll put in all the money and shit I just need someone to help me out with the work. “

“ I got shit to do. “

“ Like what ? Making more kids ? “

“ Fuck you, Angel. “

“ That was a joke, ok ? Just a joke. Look, she’s real important to me. I told her I’d fix this. “

He can hear Coco sigh at the other end of the phone. Angel is painfully aware that this is a lot to ask of Coco. But he’s his closest friend and who else would he turn to if not Coco. They’ve been through the biggest piles of shit together, this is nothing compared.

“ Well why the fuck would you say that ? Man, will you ever stop thinking with your dick ? “

He’s not. Maybe for the first time in his life in a situation where a woman is involved that he’s thinking with something other than his dick. He’s letting his heart lead for the first time ever. But that’s a cheesy fucking thing to say so he doesn’t say it.

“ It’s not like that. Not this time. “ he hopes the sincerity in his words translates well through the phone. Because this is serious. Whatever it is he has with her is so serious to him.

Coco is silent for a moment and Angel can just imagine him fighting with himself. But this is Coco and though he’s a weird dude, he’s got a big heart and he’s as loyal as a god damn Golden Retriever.

“ Alright. Alright I’ll help you. But you owe me man, big time. “

“ I do. I know I do. Thanks Coco. I’ll come around the clubhouse later, we’ll talk then. “

“ Sure, whatever man. Only doing it because she’s a nice girl. “

“ You have no idea. “

She’s not just nice, she’s incredible. She’s everything.

As he catches her eyes through the window, his heart skips a beat and he knows then, that he’s doing the right thing. He’ll do whatever he has to, to see that smile.

“ I gotta go, Coco. Talk later. “

“ Yeah alright. Bye. “

As he finishes his phone call, Angel steps inside the ice cream store, the bell above the door chiming up as he enters. Daisy looks up and there it is again, the sparkle. The adoration as she looks at him like he’s some kind of hero. He’s far from it but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least try to stay the hero in her story.

“ So, what have you girls decided on, huh ? “ he asks as he slides into the booth next to Callie, Daisy sitting across from them.

“ I want one scoop of bubble gum, one scoop of mint chocolate chip and lots of sprinkles. “ the little girl replies.

“ Ooooh sprinkles sound good. What about whipped cream ? “

She enthusiastically nods her head. “ Yes. Love whipped cream. “

“ Me too. “

It feels easy being here, light. It feels as if all his problems don’t exist when he is with Callie and Daisy. They give his life a certain glow, a pop of color that hasn’t been there before.

He feels Callie’s hand slip into his underneath the table, fingers tangling with his. He was never one for PDA, never one for holding hands. That was before Callie though. Now every little sign of affection, he soaks up like a sponge. And so when she looks up at him he presses a soft kiss to her lips and it feels — right.

It’s later that day, the sun slowly setting sends a pink glow across all of Santo Padre. Angel is holding a half asleep Daisy in his arms. Her head rests on his shoulders as she tiredly murmures on about some animated movie she’s been watching the other day.

This girl seems to have an unlimited amount of energy. He remembers being a child. Things back then felt infinite. Everything was exciting and grand and breathtaking. Even back then he realised that EZ was the golden child of the family. The one his parents’ hopes and dreams rested on. But it didn’t matter then because all it meant back then, was less pressure resting on him. That would change once he turned into a teenager but back then it really didn’t matter. All that mattered was having fun and causing chaos and making chocolate chip pancakes with his mom on a sunday morning.

“ Do you wanna take a nap baby ? “ Callie asks, as they enter her apartment, and combs her fingers softly through her daughter’s hair.

The little girl shakes her head adamantly, clinging tighter to Angel. Again, he can’t help but smile.

“ I wanna stay with Angel. I wanna watch Pets. “

“ You sure ? You seem really tired. “

Again she shakes his head “ No. I wanna stay with Angel. “

Her words are lulled in a sleepy voice and both Callie and Angel know she’s not gonna last much longer but neither of them really have the heart to tell her no.

“ I don’t know if Angel wants to stay ? “ Callie says then looks up at him. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking but he’s sure there’s something in her eyes, hope, longing — love.

“ Oh yeah I do. I’ll stay as long as you girls want me around “.

Those words seem harmless, as if it’s just about tonight’s plans. They aren’t though. They mean more. They hold a heavy weight. And Callie knows it, she can see it in his eyes.

So when she smiles back, his heart soars. “ You’re always welcome here, always. “

“ Guess we’ll be watching Pets then “ he says and sits down on the couch with Daisy still holding onto him as if he might vanish if she lets go even a tiny bit.

“ You do that. Lemme just go shower real quick, Daisy knows how the TV works. Make yourself a home. “

With that, Callie disappears in the bathroom.

“ D’you wanna show me how to put the movie on ? “ Angel asks, trying to get Daisy to look up at him. She does and her big gorgeous eyes look tired. So so tired, it seems to be a struggle for her to keep them open at all.

“ It’s the silver thingie, press the big button first. “ she instructs him and points towards a silver remote control. Angel does as she says and the TV springs to live. He’s shown a menu of several things to chose from, TV, Amazon, Netflix, Music. There’s a big selection of things though none of that catches his attention.

What does catch his attention, is the picture in the background of the selection screen, one that Callie clearly uploaded and chose herself. She’s there, a bit younger, hair a bit longer and styled differently. But it’s her no doubt. The smile is the same radiant ray of sunshine that he’s grown so fond of. She’s holding a baby, one that can’t be older than a few weeks. Tiny thing. So so tiny. He doesn’t know a lot about babies, thinks they all look pretty much identical, so really he can only assume this one’s Daisy. He’s fairly sure of that though, judging only by the way Callie is looking at her in that picture. Full of love. Pride. Happiness.

There’s a man there, holding them close. His eyes are displaying the exact same kind of love. He seems so proud of these girls and Angel can only assume how that feels. He feels glimpses of that, tiny sparks every once in a while. But this guy, those were officially his girls, no buts, no almosts, no maybes. Those were his girls through and through.

“ That’s my daddy. He went to heaven when I was a baby. “ Daisy’s tiny voice speaks up again. “ Mommy says he loves me very much. She always tells me stories. She says he’s up in the sky watching me and making sure I don’t get hurt. “

It hasn’t occurred to him until now, that Daisy knows so very little about her own father. That all she ever gets to learn about him is from other people’s stories. She was too young to really remember him. He wonders what that is like. Wonders if in the end it saves her a lot of heartbreaks. Maybe it’s easier to lose something you don’t remember, something you never know you had in the first place.

“ Oh I’m sure he’s watching over you. Looking at all your pretty drawings. He’s probably really proud of you learning how to swim. “

“ You really think he’s up there ? I can’t see him. “

This is not a conversation he thought he was going to have today. Existentialism and life after death is not usually a topic to debate about with a small child. And yet, sometimes kids have an easier approach to things. One that’s both less and more factual at the same time. They spend not thoughts on being reasonable, they just want to know. They just want to understand.

“ You know, my mom went to heaven a few years ago and she always told me people we love never really leave us, that they sit up there on clouds and watch over us and send us little miracles, little wonders every once in a while when we need them. I didn’t believe any of that. My mommy was gone and I was so sad and there were no miracles for me, nothing. It felt like she was just — not there anymore. But then something did happen, life did send me a miracle and now I think my mom might actually be there looking out for me. “

He’s never told this to anyone before. Has had a hard time coming to terms with this himself. But spilling his heart to Daisy, someone he knows won't judge him, it feels good. It feels liberating. Like someone is taking a huge weight off of his shoulders.

“ What happened ? “ Daisy asks, cuddling further into him as he leans back on the couch.

“ I met your mama. “

“ Mama’s your miracle ? “

“ Mmmh. And you too. “

She kisses his cheek at that and he’s sure he’s melting right there and then.

“ You’re my miracle too. “ she says and lets a big yawn overtake her. “ Now can we watch secret life of pets ? “

“ Sure little one. Sure we can. “

It’s 20 minutes later that Callie walks back into the living room. Obnoxious animated cats and dogs are jumping around on the tv screen. She’s just about to speak up, when her eyes drift towards the couch and a smile overtakes her face.

Angel is lying on the couch, Daisy resting on his chest. Both are fast asleep, little snores echoing through the room.

This, she decides then, is a sight she wants to see more often. This is what she wants her future to look like. Even if it’s scary. Sometimes scary things are good. Sometimes they really are worth it.

And if anyone is worth it, it’s Angel. Even if he can’t see that himself.

#angel reyes x reader #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes imagine #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans imagine #mayans fanfic #mayans mc fanfic #casualmothsstory

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husky-boi · 4 years

Text

It’s Always Been You ~ Chapter 4

Summary: Husk grew up with the casinos of Vegas, and made his living there. This is the story of how he found the joy in life, and a reminder that sometimes true love transcends worlds

Ships: Huskniss (Husk x Arackniss)

Ao3 Link

...they'll always find a way back together.

Husk lost track of how long it had been since Angel's family started hanging out at the hotel. In all honesty, he hadn't expected them to be around more than a few days, a week tops. He hadn't expected Charlie to let them stay, considering neither Molly or Arackniss were remotely interested in the concept of redemption. The more energetic of the two spent most of her time running around and introducing herself to everyone that came through the front doors, talking a particular interest in Cherri for who knows what reason. Husk didn't care about that. What he cared about was the short, black spider that insisted on spending every evening taking up a seat at the bar.

Arackniss was rarely talkative, and for the first few weeks, their routine was the same. He would sit down at the bar, Husk would slide him a bottle of something he pointed at (usually red wine, sangria, or just straight vodka), take down at minimum five bottles, and push Husk a stack of cash without asking for the price. It was almost always double the actual cost, but by the time he finished counting it out, Arackniss was gone. And that really pissed him off some days.

His voice sounded so damn familiar, and Husk just couldn't figure out why. It was impossible to try and understand it when the spider didn't talk to anyone besides Angel most of the time. So he had to take some kind of action, that much was obvious.

On this particular night, something had obviously been bothering Niss much more than usual, because he about drank the entire stash of wine, vodka, and a few other types that they had. Husk panicked when he watched the other reach into his pocket as typically to pull out the money, he had to say something now or never.

"Don't bother. S'on the house."

Arackniss immediately froze, glancing up to the bartender and quickly searching his eyes for any sign of a trick. "How much of it was poisoned?"

Husk took a few seconds to process the phrase before scoffing. "None of it, I'd lose my fuckin' job if I did that. Can't I just give a loyal customer a discount without it bein' suspicious?"

Apparently not, because the glare of Niss' golden eyes didn't stop. Not when he took the cash out anyway and put it on the table, not when Husk pushed it back at him, not when he reluctantly took the money back and pocketed it again. Somehow despite the anger, Husk was able to see the pain present in them had faded, if only a small bit. And though it hadn't happened in many years, Husk felt the side of his mouth curl into a smile.

"…thanks." Then Arackniss was gone again, and Husk was once again left alone wondering what the hell happened to his heart for it to start beating this fast.

-----

From that point on, the routine changed slightly. Arackniss was slightly more talkative, and though it was rare he said more than one sentence at a time, it was clear that he wasn't quite as standoffish as before. That's progress, and at least when he was talking Husk could focus on his voice more. Though, by this point, he wasn't sure if he was trying to figure out where he'd heard it from, or if he just liked the sound of Niss' voice. Maybe a bit of both.

"Y'ever had Michter's whiskey?" Husk was given a skeptical look. "I know, it's an American brand, but I swear it's good shit. Kinda expensive, but managed to snag a bottle from the black market demons that sneak it from the surface. So you want some?"

Arackniss was really only fond of brands coming from his home country of Italy, with a preference for those in Rome. Still, it didn't stop him from pushing out a glass for it to be poured. Husk knew him better than that, and knocked it aside, reaching under the counter to pick out a bottle for each of them to drink from directly.

"Best shit I ever had, I swear. Couldn't afford it all that much while I was alive, but the good stuff gets you drink twice as fast as cheap booze. Probably somethin' to do with havin' a good opinion on it swaying your thoughts, I don't know."

By the time Husk finished talking, Niss had already taken the top of the bottle off with his teeth (and damn, that was eye-catching everytime it happened), and he was already about halfway done with it. And still drinking. Fuck, this guy could really hold his liquor.

Only once the bottle was finished did Arackniss give a slight shrug, sitting the bottle down. Another few seconds, and Husk swore he nearly passed out when Niss smiled at him.

"Yeah, not bad… For an' American brand."

Husk couldn't help it; he laughed. He actually laughed, for the first time in who knows how many decades. With his eyes closed and wiping tears from them, he missed the way Niss' fur fluffed up at the sound or how the spider's eyes were on him up until Husk was looking back again.

"S-shit.. Next time show me your favorite, and we'll compare then. How about that?"

"Fair 'nough."

-----

It had to have been at least a few months now, of Husk trying to make enough money during the day to cover the free drinks Arackniss would have that evening, of them talking more each night, topics shifting from the hotel, to its patrons, and finally to each other. Stories of how they were during life, their childhood, their hobbies and jobs. Anything, really, but the subject of tonight's discussion was family. Apparently a sensitive topic for both of them.

"I didn't really have much family growin' up. Started off in the foster system, and no matter how much I ran away from all the fucking pricks, they kept dragging me back. I'm telling you, couldn't wait for the day I turned eighteen and they couldn't hold me there anymore."

Arackniss nodded in response, taking some sips of his bottle of wine. Red, obviously, white wine was an abomination. "Wish I could'a done the same. I mean, siblings weren't too bad, Tony and Molls were just as stuck as I was. But my fathe' was pretty damn shit. For about a dozen reasons."

Silence for a few seconds, it was clear he hadn't planned on elaborating. "How's that, then? What'd he do, kill some fuckers?"

The bottle of red wine was sat down in favor of Arackniss scratching nervously at his wrist. "…yeah, you could say that. Bein' part'a the Italian mafia, s'kinda part of the job." Husk raised an eyebrow at that, but made no move to interrupt otherwise. "Had this big casino we ran as a front for the whole business, real easy to hide how much money you're earnin' when everyone spends thousands a day there. Much as I liked runnin' the bar there or playing the games, woulda been better if all that wasn't the reason for it."

Husk nodded in response, and it seemed for the first time he was actually intently listening to a story. He couldn't really help that, anything with gambling drew his interest. "Actually was kinda raised by casinos, sneaking in the back doors and all that. Made a pretty good fuckin' name in poker and craps for myself back then. That’s pretty much how I made my living for a good for years."

It seemed Niss was still too lost in thought to process those words, so Husk gave a gentle shove to his shoulder. He'd already learned he was allowed to do things like that, they were at least sort of close enough. "Alright, you're overthinkin' shit. Spill."

"…Mafia thing was kinda the shittiest family to be born into. And it ain't just killing people and all that, it's that you're not allowed to trust fuckin' anyone.." He sighed, running a hand through his hair, another gesture that made Husk's heart jump into his throat everytime he saw it. "Already told y'about Harold a while ago, but… There was another guy back then, met 'im at the casino. And fuck, he knew the game, was good at it without explanation. Henry kicked 'im out once he found out we… Talked. Banned 'im from the casino completely. Never got to see 'im again. Sometimes wonder what happened to the fucker…"

Husk took a few seconds to process that story. It sounded really, really fucking familiar. "…wouldn' happen to be the Rose D'Oro Casino in Vegas, would it?"

"Yeah, why'd y'ask?"

Suddenly, that familiar voice made a little bit more sense.

He nearly knocked the wine bottle off the table on accident, scrambling to hold it steady as he reached into his pocket with one hand. With a shaking hand, Husk pulled out a very old and faded black and gold die, with a rose in place of the one, placing inbetween them on the table. Naturally, Niss' eyes widened.

"…I think.. This is yours?"

More silence. Uncomfortable silence as they both just stared at the object on the table. And then Husk felt his bowtie being pulled on and, contrary to the feeling he was about to receive a punch, lips were crashing into his and holy shit fucking Arackniss was kissing him-

Husk swore he blacked out for a few seconds, because when he was coherent enough to know what was going on, the kiss was already over and he was lightheaded with both of them grabbing onto each other's shirts.

"…oh my god, it's fucking you-" It took a monumental amount of effort for Husk to just say that at the moment. He was pretty sure every bit of fur on his body was standing up straight in the air, his ears were pressed flat against his head, and damn his tail was moving happily, wasn't it?

Husk could feel his soul leaving his body as Niss smiled at him, truly and openly smiled. "…it's always been you…"

-----

Soulmates are connected through time and space.

Sometimes a distance can grow between the two.

But no matter how far apart they become…

…they'll always find a way back together.

For better or worse

Through sickness and in health

Two souls were made for each other

And when they come together

All the broken pieces find their other halves

And they are whole once again

-----

Taglist: @lunar-trash @silver-crowned-king @incorrect-hazbin-quotes @im-not-an-alcaholicokmolly @tophattippin @grape-scapegoat

#huskniss #hazbin hotel #husker #husk #arackniss #original post #fic #fluff #its always been you

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jason-todd-deserved-better · 5 years

Text

Vampire AU - Tim Drake x Reader Headcanon

A/N: And I’m back, in under a month and with a Tim Drake story! So hell must be freezing over, but this story was inspired by @write-it-motherfuckers with this prompt. (If you guys haven't checked them out, then I suggest that you do because they are amazing and if you're in a rut then reading their prompts will definitely help!) Either way, I hope you guys like it and let me know what you guys think! Love y’all!

Warning: There is a good amount of violence and death, plus graphic depictions of messed up stuff (a whole lot of gore). So if you don’t like that stuff, then please do not read. Please stay safe.

Summary: You bring home an injured bat, but all isn’t as it seems and you may have an issue on your hands when you accidentally bleed on the little guy.

Animals have always been deeply ingrained in your heart of hearts.

You were raised in a household that respected any and all animals, with your parents being park rangers, this was a given.

Also, the fact that you and the rest of the family had a bit of wolf blood in there mixed up as well.

Though only a couple of people in your family could even change, your father included.

You and your siblings, on the other hand, didn’t have that ability.

It wasn’t really an issue though, your parents loved you all the same, and your dad had no problem with that at all.

Plus you got to ride on his back in wolf form when you were little, and that was a lot of fun from what you could remember.

You had a relatively normal childhood though, and it was as peaceful as it could get.

Everyone has to grow up though, and for college, you decided to go to Gotham University, much to your parent’s displeasure.

But your mind was set, and that’s where you went.

At first, it was a hard transition, to be surrounded by forests, then to steel buildings that were higher than any tree could ever get.

Plus they weren’t lying when they said Gotham was a crime-ridden city.

You usually didn’t have to worry about the supernatural creatures around you, as your scent was one of a Were’s, and no one wants to mess with a Were.

As long as no one knew that you couldn’t turn into a wolf than you would be fine.

It was the normal humans that you had to worry about though.

Which means the odds of getting mugged were still very high.

Your parents knew this, so they gave you a small can of pepper spray

And even if you had to use the pepper spray, it would suck for both you and your assailant as your sense of smell was also enhanced because of your wolf genes.

But if you needed it, then you’d use it.

Time passes though, and the next thing you knew is that you were graduating relatively soon and you had a lovely internship at a recovery center/veterinary hospital on the edge of Gotham.

You absolutely loved the place, it was almost your home away from home as it was tucked into a wooded area that could still be considered Gotham, but was far enough for the trees not to be surrounded by concrete.

But because it was kinda in the woods and also a makeshift recovery center (Gotham really sucks in nature preservation, in literally all aspects.), you’d get all different kinds of animals like owls, deer, bats, and even wolves funnily enough.

Tonight was a rough night though, as people were running in to get help for their animals as some villain was going around and destroying everything in its path.

Basically, you guys were packed with injured dogs and cats, while also housing the already sick animals.

But your day wasn’t over as your boss, Jules, runs in with a small bat bleeding in her hands.

The older women put the bat on the table, and you were quick to help her patch them up.

“Found the poor thing outside by my car,” Jules says, disinfecting the various cuts on its body. “He was probably hit by shrapnel from the attack, funny how he made it here though,”

“Well at least you saw him before we closed for the night,” You say, pulling out the gauze and bandages.

Jules nodded her head in agreement, “You have no idea, Sweet Pea.”

She was very much the old grandmother type, and she had taken great care in making sure that you and the rest of the staff were well taken care of.

Plus no one would want to get on her bad side as there would be a couple of hexes coming their way as she was one of the elder witches of Gotham.

Yeah, no one messes with Jules.

Once you guys finished working on the injured bat, you guys went to put it in with the rest of the animals, but there was an obvious problem.

The whole building was loaded with animals, wild and domestic.

You hear Jules tired curse next to you. “Well looks like I’ve got to take this little guy home,”

Immediately you didn’t like that, she had been working all day and all you could tell that the past day's events were wearing her down.

“Hey don’t worry about it Jules, I’ll take care of him,” At first she was about to say no, but by the look you gave her, she knew that you wouldn’t take no as an answer.

“You sure you can handle it Sweet Pea?” She asked. “I know you’re just as tired as me,”

“Of course, we used to take care of these guys all the time back at home,” You say with a smile. “Plus Jules, we wouldn’t want you to get another familiar,”

With a slight laugh, she hands over the bat and pinches your side jokingly. “Oh you kids are gonna be the death of me, either that or a house is gonna fall on my head,”

“Hey, you said it, not me,” You laugh at her joke, being careful with the bat in your hands.

And with that, you guys closed the shelter and were on your separate ways home.

While driving to your apartment though (You made sure that your building was nowhere near the destruction before you left.), you kept smelling something odd in your car.

It wasn’t a bad smell, but it was one that you’ve never been in contact with.

Only did you realize it was the bat as it traveled with both of you to the hallway of your apartment.

“Okay my dude, you kinda smell,” You mutter, unlocking your apartment door. “Well can’t really worry about that now, can we?” You say placing him in a shoebox that you had lying around after you laid a hand towel over the bottom.

The funny thing is, was that he didn’t really fuss, not when Jules had him, not in the car ride home and not now as he gazed at you.

You found it weird, but you chalked it up to the stress the little guy had already gone through.

You didn’t see the expression on its face when you said it stunk, like who are you to talk? Your smell wasn’t human either!

After putting him in the box, you went to the kitchen taking the tiny bat with you, and placing him on the counter.

Pulling fruits out of the fridge, your main goal was to see if you could get him to eat anything, which would be an excellent sign for the little guy.

Pulling out a knife, you started going to work on half of a banana, when your hand slips and you nicked the side of your finger, blood beginning to trickle out of the wound.

Cursing, you pick up the box and head to the bathroom, trying not to get blood on the little guy as you jogged to your bathroom where you kept your first aid kit.

You placed the box on the bathroom counter, a couple drops of blood falling on the face of the bat.

All of a sudden there was a heavy weight on your chest, and your vision was filled with black and red.

Yelping, you immediately fell back, expecting to hit the back of your head with the end of your shower when at the last minute you were stopped by hand cupping the back of your neck, saving you from the fall.

Feeling his strong body press up against yours, you see a torn up mask revealing a blackened eye, with the remnants of a shredded mask.

“Thank you, I really needed that.” He says, an embarrassed smile on his face.

He lifts you up and pulls away, you noticing the insignia on his chest as one of the ones you’d see all the time on the news.

But that doesn’t stop you from yelling out, because blacked out eyes mean one thing.

You had a goddamn vampire in with you in your bathroom.

Which causes you to lash out, throwing a shampoo bottle at his head.

“AH HEY!” He yelps out, more out of shock than real pain but you were completely freaking out, “I’m not going to hurt you!”

“Holyshitholyshitholy-” You were trying to find other things to throw but were stopped when your arms were pushed to our sides and held there.

“Please stop, I promise I’m not going to hurt you,” He says slowly, you notice his eyes turning more human, revealing that his irises were an icy blue.

Even the wounds that he had were starting to close, most likely due to the blood that was smeared across his lips.

“Shit” You shakily say, finishing the thought you had, now too scared to move.

Slowly, he lets go of your arms, making sure that you weren’t going to start throwing things at him again.

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” He says starting to back up, only to collapse when he puts weight on his right leg.

On instinct, you go to catch him because well you’re a decent person who acts before they actually think.

There was an alarm going through your head, but you ignored it as you pulled him out of the bathroom and towards the couch in the living room.

Plus Red Robin was one of the good guys right? You thought.

With a grunt from the both of you, you dropped him on your couch.

He was heavier than he looked, and you weren’t strong like your dad or any other wolf you knew.

Tim wasn’t focused on that but your heart rate was going crazy, he picked up on that.

“Um your hand is still bleeding,” He motions with his head, regretting that as he felt the world tilt in that second.

You glance down at your hand, seeing a small stream of blood dripping all over the place.

Cursing you go back to the bathroom and quickly taking care of that, then coming back to the living room where Red Robin was looking a little better but still was looking a little sick.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

“Yeah, just need a little while for the world to stop spinning,” He says, eyes closed.

“I-Is that normal for a vampire?” You ask, your nerves getting to you.

Plus you only knew the bare minimum on vampires.

“Meh, I got hit pretty hard so it’ll hurt for a while, it’ll go slower because it was only a couple drops of blood I got.” You stiffen at that. “Don’t worry though, I’m not going to take any more from you.”

You let out a soft sigh of relief.

He opens his eyes slowly, ”Thanks by the way.”

“Well, I’m not going to say no problem, but you’re welcome I guess,” You say, glancing at your cut hand.

“I’m surprised you didn’t change though, most other Weres would tear me apart the second I changed back.”

Okay time for damage control, no one needs to know that you can’t morph.

“I prefer not to turn any time I’m scared, then it’s harder to control myself.” You say, knowing that was the reason why your father never changed when scared.

“Mhm,” He mumbles. “Gotta love those animal instincts…”

“But turning into a bat can’t be that bad, no carnal rage, just to fruit.” You state.

“Yeah, and the occasional moth as well.” Okay now that sounded gross, plus poor moth.

“Oof,” You cringe. “That kinda sucks.”

He laughs at that, “You have no idea.”

Red Robin stayed in your apartment for a while, until his wounds were healed and he wouldn’t fall out of the sky because the world would continue to spin.

It wasn’t the last time that you saw him though.

Every once in a while, while sitting in your living room, either watching TV or working on homework, you would see a flash of red in the corner of your eye.

Sometimes you’d catch him and wave, causing him to shyly wave back then fly off into where ever else he needed to go.

It almost became a routine as you’d see him do this at least once a week.

Eventually, you were starting to get tired of this though, and he could tell so as he was about to leave, he was surprised to see you get up and open the window you saw him through.

“Okay, enough of the staring contests, do you want to come in?” You call out.

A boyish smile grows on his face as he turns, flying in through your window, settling on your couch before turning back.

But then his nerves hit him like a brick. “Hehehe… Hi.”

“Hey,” You say, rolling your eyes as you plop down next to him on the couch. “Now what would you rather watch, Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Jane the Virgin?”

And that is how your friendship with Red Robin started, with a couple episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Either way, time flew by and graduation passed in the breeze but you stayed in Gotham, as Jules demanded offered to hire you full time (She was worried about the bat incident, but you reassured her that you were fine even if it turned out to be a vampire.)

So everything was going pretty well for you, and you couldn’t be happier.

But you were in for a rude awakening.

You had a day off, so you spent that time cleaning your apartment, as it was getting cluttered and you couldn’t keep living this way.

All was well until a large hole was blown into the wall of your apartment and you were thrown across the room from the impact.

You barely had time to moan your discomfort as you were brought up by the collar of your shirt, choking you as you were lifted up.

With blurry vision, you see the face of the Scarecrow, and the next thing you knew, there was a sharp green gas filling your vision.

Your heart was racing as you processed that it was his fear gas, a choked out yell escaping your lips as you heard his demonic laugh.

Then all of a sudden you weren’t in your apartment anymore, now you were in front of the animal hospital.

You saw the fire start at the far corner of the building, but it was gaining ground quickly, so you dashed inside.

Getting burned wasn’t on your mind, but the animals inside and when you ran in you could pick up the smell of burning flesh.

It made your stomach recoil, and you ran towards every cage, kennel, and room.

What you saw in every one of those rooms couldn’t ever be unseen.

The burnt remains of the dogs and cats you were taking care of, the smell burning your insides while the smoke burned your lungs and eyes.

You weren’t sure if you were bawling more from the smoke or the sick animals that were in your care.

You got your answer as you ran down the hallway.

The smell started to change, it was still a burn but it made your insides curdle, and you could feel bile coming up your throat.

In there you saw a large mass, curled up in the middle of one of the kennels.

Even though the body was grotesquely chard, you knew it was Jules.

You would know her everywhere.

A horrified sob leaves your burning throat, covering your mouth you turn away, not being able to process what you were seeing.

But in the kennel, you were now facing yanked out a horrified wail from you.

In there was your family, huddled together but were very dead, your father in wolf form trying to cover the rest of your family but failed as they all were burned.

All the strength in your body left, your knees collapsing under you, and you were ready to go with the rest of your family.

Curling into yourself, you sob feeling the flames lick at your skin, searing away your very being.

But it all went dark, and everything felt numb to you.

Lifting up your head slowly, your tear stained eyes look up, and all you see is darkness around you.

It might be dark, but you could feel him nearby.

“R-Red?” You choke out, your eyes looking all over for him.

“You could have saved them you know.” His voice was cold, colder than anything you’ve ever heard escape his lips.

Your eyes continue to water, “What-”

“If you had turned, you could have saved them all” You see his silhouette in the distance.

“Red, I-I can’t-” All of a sudden there was a hand at your throat choking you of air.

“You’re useless, you can’t do anything on your own,” His grip tightens. “The sad thing is, that's all you want to do, but poor and weak little (Y/N) can’t do anything.”

He lets go of your throat, dropping your body hard on the ground.

Coughing, you feel the tears continue to pour down your face, “Red, why-”

He grabs you by the throat again, “But you aren’t completely useless, oh no.” You can see the points of his teeth grow, his eyes turning black. “You’re blood is still pumping,”

And with that, he attacks your neck, biting down into the flesh and going straight through to the artery.

You felt his teeth stab into you, a red flash of pain going through your very being.

You felt yourself slipping away into nothing, the dark encompassing you until you finally slipped away.

That was the end of it all, you thought.

But your eyes fluttered open, now blinded by artificial and sterile light.

It took you a couple moments to take in the lights, they were still too bright, but you could now see the rest of the room.

From what you could tell it was a hospital, from the thin tubes connected to your arm to the inclined bed that you were on.

You didn’t notice the body next to you until you felt someone softly grab your hand.

If you could have jumped three feet in the air, then you would have, but you were clearly drugged up on pain meds.

You’ve never seen him without his costume, but you knew his smell anywhere.

And you instinctively put a hand on your neck to feel for a bite, remembering everything from your dream, but not finding anything.

Then you remembered what happened in your apartment.

Fear gas.

None of it was real.

Your family was okay, and you were alive.

Holy crap you actually survived that.

“Well, I’ll try not to take offense to that…” He says squeezing your other hand softly.

Letting out a little chuckle, you slowly put your hand down. “Well, I’m alive so deal with it,”

“I couldn’t let you die, (Y/N),” He says, glancing down in shame. “I would have done anything to prevent you from going through that.”

“I-I know, Red,” You say, gripping his hand a little tighter.

“It’s Tim,” He says, glancing up at you.

Oh wow.

He actually gave you his real name.

“Tim?”

“Yep, that's my name.”

“Wow, I thought I’d never see the day.” You laugh slightly.

“Well, you almost didn’t so it’s best to do it now before I don’t get another chance to.”

Squeezing his hand, you get the courage to give him the only secret you had.

“Since we’re clearing out the air, I got to tell you something too,” Courage don't fail me now you think, “I can’t turn.”

A momentary confusion falls across his face, then he made sense of your words.

“Well that makes sense now,” He smiles slightly, “I was surprised when you didn’t bite my head off that first night.”

Rolling your eyes you smile at him fondly, “There now we both know each other's darkest secret.”

“Meh,” He shrugs. “Some are darker than others.”

With a laugh, you lightly smack his side. “Whatever Tim.”

He chuckles, rubbing his side and lays his head on your wrist that he put on the bed, kissing the inside of your wrist.

With that display of affection, blood rushes to your face, causing him to let out a loose smile.

You guys grew closer after that, it only seemed natural that you guys would get together after this.

It took a little while, but in between moving you to another (much safer) apartment in the city, and keeping your family at bay. (Your dad was pissed, he was ready to tear off anyone’s and everyone’s head off because no one messes with his little girl. It was mostly the wolf talking though.)

So with many weeks of video calls and the “are you alright” texts, your life went back to normal.

Well with the addition of a certain vampire boyfriend of yours, that was new.

Heck, there was even a massive moment of deja vu when there was a bat you had to take in because it was overcrowded in the center.

You just finished getting the little thing to eat when your window was opened, and Tim climbed through, still in costume.

When he sees you, he has to stop and look at the scene beforehand, because what?

“She’s just a normal bat, Tim, Jules made sure,” You say, your focus on the bat.

He shoulders relax, and an embarrassed laugh escapes his lips, “Yeah I knew that,”

“Uh huh, sure you did,” You laugh, getting her comfortable in the towel covered shoebox before walking up to your boyfriend, amusement on your face. “Plus, she doesn’t stink like someone I know.”

“Oof low blow there babe.” He says, a fake pain in his voice, only to be followed with a chuckle when you pull his mask off.

“I’m sorry,” You apologize in a seductively sweet tone. “Let me make it better.”

“Oh please do,” And with that you kiss him, pouring your soul into it, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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