#LIKE in an ideal world they would be. a lesbian and a gay man. they just have those vibes.

[orcelito]

OK listen I'm still not quite sold on them being a pairing But

Kisara and Dohalim r killing me anytime they r next to each other. Making me feel very bisexual

[rthko]

I used to get insecure when reading radical critiques of "born this way" narratives, but I understand it differently now. I'm reading early defenses of homosexuals that concede that their "invert" pathology is worthy of sympathy, and that straight society ought to allow them to have sex (in the right circumstances) so they don't have to be miserable. They go on to claim that while some people who commit homosexual acts are victims of their circumstances, the real perverts are ontologically straight men who commit them by choice.

If I asked every LGBT person I know, "did you choose to be queer," virtually everyone would say no. I have never, to my knowledge, met anyone who would say yes. But if I asked them if they would turn straight/cis if they could, I believe that most, including people who have gone through great hardships on account of their identities, would still say no. The phrase "gay lifestyle" is considered politically incorrect, and indeed there is no one gay lifestyle. But we have also developed culturally distinct circles associated with pleasure as a virtue, creativity, individual dignity and collective care. Many of us learned to look at the straight world not with envy but with relief that we're not part of it.

There are characteristics of our queer identities or behaviors that are a choice. I did not choose to be attracted to men, but I did choose to be promiscuous. I did not choose to be uncomfortable with "male" gender roles, but I did choose to challenge them through gender expression. An emphasis on innateness would imply that the only characteristics of my identity and behavior worth defending are those that are inevitable. It would ask why I still insist on living the way I do when my sexual desires can now just as well be satiated in a legally recognized monogamous marriage.

The subtext of this question, a choice or not a choice, is whether a person is worthy of support. Much like the elusive "gay gene," some trans advocates are searching for the definitive proof of "male brains" and "female brains" that will validate the existence of trans people once and for all. If gender becomes medically or scientifically "provable," perhaps science would then validate trans people. Or, perhaps a brain scan would determine who should or should not consider themselves trans, and create new rationalizations to misgender on "scientific" terms. We need only look back to the sexologists of the late 19th and early 20th century, often gay themselves, who developed scientific rationalizations for queer behavior in good faith only to have them reapplied to nefarious ends.

Many will insist they support LGBT people in the abstract but not the specifics of queer culture. These are the tendencies that don't have a scientific or metaphysical explanation. It is less often we hear claims that one is born to be flamboyant, promiscuous, left wing, kinky or polyamorous, so these tendencies are superfluous. There is a platonic ideal of a lesbian, a gay man, a bisexual or a trans person who follows their natural proclivities and not a step further, and you're not it. So arguments against born this way narratives are not just in defense of those who see themselves as having chosen their gender or sexuality--for what it's worth, I have not knowingly met any. It's that this is a flimsy claim to legitimacy, one that has been used against us, and one that can only be taken so far. I'm not interested in determining who is "faking it." I understand more and more that everyone's body belongs to them, and the steps they take to experience joy and mutual pleasure need no explanation.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #4188:

(ONE of!!) the things that bothers me so much about "genderbends are transphobic just make them trans instead!!" discourse is that, it ignores so many different elements or possibilities. It's not just changing how they look, but deciding which elements of their personality they would keep and what parts would change, and how that would effect they way world perceives them and thus how they interact with the world.

Example: I have one character who's a hyper-feminine, Instagram influencer, rich spoiled snobby model type, and (an OUT) lesbian. Now in a world where she were a guy, how would that work? There are a few different possibilities.

One would be to leave her entire personality completely unchanged--she would come off as a flamboyant gay stereotype. The way society as a whole perceives and reacts to a very feminine man is EXTREMELY different from how it would react to a feminine woman. Also, leaving EVERYTHING the same, how would that reflect on her attraction? would she stay *gay* and be attracted to solely men? Or, would she stay *attracted to exclusively women*? This would be pretty unexpected for someone looks and acts like most people's gay male stereotype.

The other option would be to swap her extreme femininity for extreme masculinity. I'm thinking, "Alpha male sigma grindset" variety of dudebro. Of course, these types attract a very specific audience who are NOT known to be very accepting. If he were gay what would be the reaction of people in his circle? How would he deal with knowing his entire career and public image could be upended if this were known to anyone? Would he stay closeted to maintain his position or would he be out and to hell with what people think of it?

There's too many different facets and directions to explore the idea of changing a characters gender to write them all off completely. To write them as specifically trans would be a whole other completely different direction.

A privileged cis man growing up in a world with "toxic masculinity" ideals would not likely have the same experience as a trans man who is otherwise in his exact same position in life. He would go from someone who has NEVER had to prove himself, to someone who CONSTANTLY has to prove himself and ALWAYS being doubted. Or if the same person were transfem, they have a LOT to risk and to lose, the relative privilege she'd been afforded up to that point would surely be pulled right out from under her if she were ever to come out or publicly transition, but would it be worth living a lie?

It's not a narrative NOT worth exploring as well, but shouldn't be the ONLY narrative. "DON'T DO GENDERBENDS JUST MAKE THEM TRANS!!" It is NOT as simple as just slapping the trans flag on them and then calling it a day. And it is not transphobic to examine a characters' relationship to their gender and the impact that has on themselves and the way they fit into the world.

[superspecial-awesome]

s0 queerosexual hcs. for pride month

basically my interpretation of the cast in this regard is that theyre a bunch of annoying queer teenagers who will never discover this about themselves because they live in 1990s japan and all think there's only gay and straight and that being the former is grounds to be beaten in the streets

Yugi: the only one who has his shit figured out. transmasc and bi and he plans on taking that to his grave. he has a strong preference for women though so that part never really comes up. "attracted to every woman ever and one guy i met at a gas station six years ago" disease. also bonus points anzu knows he's transmasc and helped him figure out binding and shit

Miho: huge lesbian but "oh no it's just that girls are objectively more attractive than guys everyone knows that, i just haven't met the right man yet, besides every girl wishes they could date women instead that's why bakura is so popular it's because he looks like a woman." I also like to imagine that in an ideal world, she'd fuck with genderfluidity

Bakura: aroace and agender transfem. he gives me he/it/any vibes. I think partly due to The Mega Autism he never really understood the deal with traditional masculinity so he feels disconnected from manhood as a whole and would be a lot more comfortable being able to exist as something entirely detached from gender. I also think the swarms of girls at all times made him view women as some sort of other species entirely and he's got a lot of deep-rooted misogyny going on about it, but tbh anzu and miho could fix him. and make him into the vague girlthing he always was

Anzu: Idk what label to slap onto her but I don't think physical appearance or gender plays any role in her being attracted to people at all. maybe like demiromantic asexual. but i dont think demi is the term im looking for. definitely ace though.

Honda: "WOW I LOVE BEING A MAN I LOVE WOMEN AND RULES AND ORDER I DON'T AT ALL FEEL LIKE I'M CURSED TO FIT MYSELF INTO A BOX THAT'S TOO SMALL FOR ME" and he believes that wholeheartedly and then wonders why he needs to constantly prove himself over things that don't matter to avoid his mental health crumbling to dust. I don't think he's trans though I just think he needs to chill out. also he's bi and poly and the single most useless hopeless romantic ever.

Jonouchi: bi but i think his refusal to accept that as a possibility has made him very aware of a lot of other things he has going on psychologically. like his homophobia has somehow made him a more self-aware and chill person. "honda put his hand on my shoulder for more than 0.5 seconds and my entire nervous system took a screenshot does this mean im g--wait no im just touched starved huh i wonder if that has ever impacted my poor decision making in the past." also him being used for the cartoon standard "guy wears girl clothes and likes it" joke is grounds for me to hc him as genderqueer. I could absolutely see him getting really into fem presentation.

Yami Yugi: gay gay homosexual gay

Kaiba: transfem in the super dysphoric way but will absolutely never find this out because any time she becomes remotely aware of something bothering her about herself she just looks in the mirror and says "no." i also wanna say arospec and aspec but idk she's fully either. i think if i wanted to give you an accurate idea of how attraction works for her i'd have to pull up the homestuck quadrants and i'm not joking.

Yami Bakura: agender is a way that's like "dude I'm a ghost in a ring who cares." If you called him a she he'd be like "what" and then after you got two words into explaining he'd go "nvm I underestimated the amount of shit I don't give about this." His sexuality is no time for dat goku

[tomatoluvr69]

It’s so funny to be lazily ambiguous with gender and sexuality in real life because most people are like oh that’s a butch lesbian. Because I am lazy. And because I only clear things up with vetted friends and literally do not care about pronouns and names and have had different names/pronouns in different circles etc. and they see my men’s attire and the fact that I haven’t binded (bound?) in years and my short hair has long grown out. And then they tell on themselves and their own lazy heuristics when I talk about liking a man that it either a) takes them visibly aback and they have to stumble over themselves to pretend they’re not shocked or b) straight up think I’m joking and continue to believe I’m a butch lesbian. And the craziest thing is other queer people like somehow often worse about this despite this sort of idea that they have of themselves that they don’t assume anyone’s gender/sexuality and that they don’t tie ideas of androgyny to a flat chest and that they do believe that pretty extreme gender fluidity can and does exist and that everyone’s experience with gender is unique. And then there’s all sorts of shit where if I don’t feel like explaining/justifying the fact that I feel my concept of identity and self shift at such a glacial pace that it’s not worth establishing a conventional nonbinary or transgender identity (that conforms to the accepted experience, timeline, and desired considerations) in public, beyond my trusted friends who are chill about deviant experiences within the queer norm, I’m just one of them theyfabs claiming to be queer for clout. Ugh anyways it’s crazy to be one of the few people on the planet who needs to occasionally come out as what may appear at the outset as straight. I’m literally not a lesbian and no one ever ever stops to think I might not be. But I’ve had so many profound experiences with women and within that sort of community that I do feel such a strong affinity there, and in an ideal world would love to be something like a he/him lesbian. But I’m not a lesbian. Because I like men!! Despite only ever having been with women!!! And it also is so funny to me that were I to enter into a relationship with a man I would be considered completely and entirely cishet despite my extensive experiences within the gay community and specifically the lesbian community. Who would accept me with open arms if I’d ended up permanently with one of the women I’ve been with!! But I remain steadfast in my convictions that I do not need to explain myself to anyone. And truly I do not care in the least what people assume about me, I’m a very private person for whom open identity is not important and I’m literally way too chill to care. But it’s just continuously funny to have to come out as not a lesbian. How many dozens of times have I had to be like “actually I am not a homosexual”. Literally the opposite experience of most LGBTeeeees I’ve just got that deeply intensely masculine swag for real that the effect lasts even when my hair gets down to like shoulder length. And it’s like, even though I am perceived as female, albeit a queer one, I have had literally every single one of the stereotypical experiences of the ‘knew I was transgender from early childhood’ archetype and that’s just supposed to be completely invalid because I decided not to medically transition due to the spans of time I have where my identity shifts and I know I’m not qualified to pick one of the three acceptable genders for the rest of my life? And I understand the broader community’s frustration with certain aspects of hegemony re: people whose identities are snidely referred to as “theyfabs” and bisexual women in LTRs with men HOWEVER im just so tiredddddddddddd of the condescension, and lazy heuristics I notice in queer people’s treatment of me and assumptions about me. Anyways thanks 2 the gay people in my phone for letting me be amorphous and being so so chill about it. I mean it probably helps that you can’t see my genuinely gargantuan and unbindable breasts from my posts. But christ man it’s just exhausting lol

[henrysglock]

Honestly these anons seem like chronically online Gen Z queer people to me. I say this as a Gen Z queer person who is ALSO very online, just THAT online. Bigotry, biphobia, etc. obviously exist, but when their core argument is essentially that a tumblr blogger saying a character is gay = biphobia, and not only that, but is somehow "one of the most wildly bigoted things" they've ever heard, that's... wow.

Tell me your entire sense of identity is shaped by TikTok discourse, Twitter battles, and fictional ships without telling me. Tell me you don't experience rl bigotry without telling me. I'm GLAD this is the post HS-world and things are better for lots of LGBTQ+ teens, but it also often just creates whatever... this is. It reminds me of this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/15nabrt/how_do_you_add_this_clouds_background/

It also seems like they expect ST to follow modern 2024 zoomer ideals instead of being a show set in an 80s context with specific narrative intentions. They wanna make the show into their own image instead of actually looking at the show and accepting what it says.

How are they not exhausted? Also, why do they care if you believe Henry is gay? No one's stopping them from believing otherwise.

Ate and left no crumbs.

Also, why do they care if you believe Henry is gay? No one's stopping them from believing otherwise.

Half of them seem to think that me saying Henry is gay takes away from Patty and her narrative importance, and that I'm doing so because I'm racist and misogynistic/I hate black women/etc.

What they don't seem to realize is that my actual point is: Patty is so much more than her relationship to Henry, and that her relationship to him is far more complex than "boy loves girl", just like Henry's relationship to Patty is more complex than "boy loves girl".

It's a whole thing that like...I don't think they understand that in their arguments against Henry as a gay man, they're tokenizing Patty as a black woman and she's the token "interracial rep" to them, just like Henry would be the token "bi rep" to them. Or if they do understand all that, they're being intentionally obtuse about it.

By using her relationship with Henry as a talking point they're reducing her down to her relationship with the white boy. In doing that, they argue in favor of Patty being nothing more than Henry's girlfriend/"I can fix him" therapist-y role. I'm not sure they realize exactly how destructive a narrative like that is, especially for a woman of color in relation to a white man. In reducing Patty to Henry's girlfriend, they're also erasing Patty's own queer coding, specifically her lesbian coding, as well as her struggle to use her "normal" relationship with Henry to find a place where she fits in/is accepted and where she can also gain autonomy from her controlling white father in a racist, heteronormative, patriarchal society that wants her to be as white-assimilated, "normal", and wife-ly as possible. She's seeking safety, rebellion, and emotional connection in a boy who "matches her freak", so to speak.

Henry, as a sweet, lonely, nerdy, gay white boy, is a golden goose. Patty, as a pretty, nerdy, ostracized weirdogirl, is Henry's golden goose. Supernatural aspects aside, they're each other's life rafts in a society that would condemn the "real" them.

But sure! Let's ignore all that for "he was a boy, she was a girl...Can I make it any more obvious?"

On top of that: I would still feel the same way about hentty and gay Henry if Patty was a white girl, which is evident in my feelings on Mike, El, and miIeven.

The other half re: bisexuality...well. We've been over that.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

https://www.tumblr.com/serendipitous-sky/725316700426420224/no-i-mean-generally-even-if-they-are-no?source=share

RE-EDITED VERSION 😅

people really don't guess/think JK is gay

most QUEER armys/fans think he's at least bi, if not gay lol

hasn't shown any over interest in men except PJM tbh

so nj being his "boy crush", staring at and idolizing g dragon, iron man being his celeb crush, choosing the male lead form the k-drama 2521 when asked to choose between the two female leads, baby gay jk hopping around all giggly bc vhope (th + jh) were kissing, being nervous and giggly about meeting the skr men's football team during the world cup (when he performed 'dreamers' in qatar), flashing his abs at fanboys at ptd, saying yes to fanboys asking him out at a fansign event, getting happy when male fans call him handsome, and liking to be called hyung more than oppa mean nothing??

also even if it was just jm, demisexual is a thing anon 💀

had a gf before

that he didn't talk to for a couple hundred days lol

also when asked "if you see a really pretty girl after going to school, what will you do?" jk said "just pass her by"

or when asked "you’re asked out by a girl who you don’t like. what would you tell her without hurting her feelings?”, jk said "can i be honest? i don’t feel anything when i see you.”

also from MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, i'm a lesbian but in elementary school (age 5 - 11) i had a "boyfriend" that i then proceeded to completely forget about/did not talk to for i don't even know how long, and he had even switched schools without me knowing/caring lol...

loves IU

jk has been asked about his "ideal type" MANY times, and it has kept changing, at some point he even seemed to be describing jm...

imo jk sees iu as his idol, like how western queers/gays are with lady gaga/britney/ariana grande (jk admires her too btw 😭)

doesn't 'look or sound' gay

this is very homophobic and weird to say anon...

"doesn't look/act/sound gay" is exactly why we have so many people not willing to except th and jk, bc they're basing if someone is "gay enough" on stereotypes of queer/gay people

also this fandom has a hard time even saying jm, someone who "fits" those stereotypes, is bisexual/queer when the man has been screaming it since forever, but especially recently during face

seems you don't pay enough attention to jk and/or queer people

Edit to add:

Good morning anon,

People who don't know want to know these things about Jk or who refuse these things by making excuses are people who are threatened by the real him.

Perhaps they are homophobic or dislike the idea of jikook happening or think Jk will someday be into them.

Just let him be.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[sunshinechay]

This is something that I (and the rest of the audience at large) have been wondering for a while. Exactly what is La Pluie trying to say about soul mates. My take away from the show so far is that, soul mates, at least romantically, are not born, they’re made. The soul mate connect experienced in the show is often believed by society to mean an instant and everlasting romantic relationship, but isn’t always necessarily the case. Tai and Tein’s parents are a really good example of this. They tried a romantic relationship, for a really long time, had beautiful sons together but in the end, their marriage and romantic relationship did not work and they split up. In contrast to them, Patts and Tai’s relationship IS romantic and has the potential to be something that lasts for the rest of their lives, if they can work through their issues together, if they communicate and remain open and honest with each other.

I can’t remember exactly who said it, but I do recall someone mentioning in a post that Tai and Patts’s relationship does not work because of their soul mate connect, but in spite of it. They each have their own issues (one of the biggest ones being Tai’s hangs ups about the connection because of his parent’s split).

Each side is presented. Tein and Bow seemingly both in the camp of believing soul mates are meant to be romantic, with Patts also falling somewhere into this category (although where exactly is a little more murky) and Lomfon being the opposite. He doesn’t believe in the soul mate connection is romantic. Lastly, Tai being somewhere in the middle of the two beliefs.

The latest episode had me wondering though, if the rest of the world falling more or less in the middle. That thought came with the idea that “soul mates as meant to be romances” could very well be a largely recent ideal. Likely something that came up in the second half of the 20th century (mostly likely along side and perhaps influencing the idea that engagement rings need to be a thing™️ a man gave a woman when they got engaged and that it had to be a diamond. Or when weddings became to grow into the large commercial industry it is today).

Building on that, there has to be people for whom the hearing loss connection is inherently platonic with no way of it becoming anything else. Other than the fact that many people believe the soul mates are meant to be a romantic connection, very little else has been explained about how and why people are connected. What happens if the two people who are connect have no way of being in a romantic relationship with each other. A good example is what happens if the two connected are opposite genders, but are only attracted to those of the same gender as they are, ie a lesbian and a gay man are connected. Or when both parties are attracted to the same gender, ie a lesbian and a straight man, or a gay man and a straight women. And even this is a very simplified version of the ways in which a soul mate connection would have to be platonic.

I’ve seen some people say that they think Tai’s father is gay and if so, it does help to explain why his parents connection could not work as a romantic relationship. They got married years ago, in a social conservative country. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that Tai’s father repressed that side of himself or didn’t realize it until later in life. But what happens to those in todays world, for whom it’s entirely possible that they have figured out their sexuality or gender prior to hearing their soul mate for the first time, or them meeting in person.

I have so many questions and no way of answering any of them. Half of them don’t even make sense or have probably been answered by piece of the show I’m forgotten but god damn do I have questions that I’m probably never going to get answers too.

[voidsentprinces]

Think more games should just start with straight, curly, wavy, and everything in between options from the get go especially if it supports PoC's representation in media and video gaming as a whole. Same goes with gender diversity and relationship diversity in media writing to allow for more LGBT+ representation in media. Ideally these things would be baked in from the get go. World might not be an ideal world but it shouldn't stop us as creatives from making it that way.

Its like that one post about if a kid smiles at you, you should smile back so we can make the world a kinder better place. Not so much that you would be getting anything grand out of it or life isn't cruel its that we should be working towards a place where life didn't always be cruel, it could be kind and pleasant, happy and mostly free of strife. Bad things would still happen, no one can predict or 100% deal with cancer, immune deficient diseases, or chronic pain to fully cure stuff. But, it doesn't mean we can't make the world gentler to those afflicted to such things and even those who aren't.

We live in a world resistant to change that the future requires and requests. I vaguely recall from the time period between when I went to Middle to High School. People being gay, lesbian, etc. was like you basically walked up to someone and killed their dog or something akin to the atrocity. There were entire fucking marches through my small town of no real note to keep gay marriage from happening. Even at the time I felt that was fucking ridiculous. The following ten years was making it okay for two women or men to hold hands or kiss in an animated television show. Cause lord won't you please think of the children.

Despite all the resistance this world provides us, at least in America, I dunno how Germany, the Netherlands, Chad, Angola, the Phillippines, or Taiwan feel about this subject or how they've been dealing with it, we should be making the world more welcoming and representative of all its people within the certain limits that we are not providing a platform for dictatorship and fascist ideals that will strip a person of all rights while glorifying the legacy and power of a singular man or group of men whose selfishness absorbs an entire country and causes its people to suffer intentionally through ignorance or apathy.

But, with the stresses of the today's world. We cannot all be made to charge the metaphorical beaches of Normandy for the cause. Some of us haven't the mental, emotional or even physical bandwidth to champion good causes in an active manner. But we still feel it strongly even if we do not have the words to describe it. And as social creatures, humans will be passionate and want to communicate it. If they cannot, we wish to at least be validated in causes we hold fast to even if we are not at liberty to fully express it for whatever reason.

So just like...break even with us and give people, particularly those of the LGBT+, People with Disabilities and PoC and their intersection representation in options of hairstyle, skin tone, romantic or lack thereof exploration/representation and the options to give people the option to like turn on a color blind mode or a certain control set up to allow stuff like...Dark Souls to be more welcoming to them.

I dunno exactly who I am talking to in making this post I just have THOUGHTS after the recent FFXIV Hairstyle Competition. And the thought was mostly, "Why did we have to hold a contest to get some of these hair styles? Why weren't they in the game to begin with?" probably resources. But like...still, ya know?

Sorry for the tangent. I think therefore I Void.

[tuningknight]

about my gender and sexuality recently

i have a weird gender and sexuality situation going on where being a "trans male" and being a "lesbian" are both important to me. it's because of my own unique (and very nonbinary/fluid) worldview of gender & sexuality, that disregards all rules of the gender binary and the meanings of labels.

because i want to explain my view and my story to people -- for some reason even though my gender is supposed to be just "nonbinary" in practice, i cannot let go of the "trans male" label and community i've been a part of for several long years, especially going on T and being treated as a trans man for the majority of my life. i'm more androgynous now, i'm far from masculine in my gender expression, but i simply cannot erase how i was treated as a "man" and how much that affects me, how much i view "man" as a fundamental part of me, my experiences, and my past. to give up that label just because of my newfound sexuality just feels wrong and a betrayal of myself.

recently, since my dysphoria has lessened and how HRT changes things about my perception of sexuality & gender, i'm pretty sure i'm moreso a lesbian than anything else. i resonate highly with the sort of discussion of how "lesbian" can be a nonconforming gender experience, aside from just a sexuality. the gender experiences of people within the lesbian community past and present paired with the sexuality aspect are things i closely see myself in now. the androgyny i present myself with. and the way my attraction has highly shifted over to feminine in a distinctly queer way. "lesbian" is the closest, most easily communicable, colloquial term that captures not only my attraction but also my new gender experience. i like the way transmasc and nonbinary lesbians expand the label's meaning beyond just "women loving women." so why can't it apply for me, too? it's that flimsy label and line within myself that divides "masc" and "man" and yet i'm not even a "man" in the way people think it means. it's just a word that has importance for my soul.

and i don't think this is a situation where it's like, "(cishet) men are invading lesbian spaces," i feel it's disingenuous to frame my queer self-discovery and journey as something like that.

it's a bit strange, most trans men start off as lesbians and become trans men, but i started as a trans man and became a lesbian, but in a way that i can't remove "trans man" from my identity. it's something i struggled for a while with, that it's impossible or unacceptable to hold both labels, or that trans men can in any way understand lesbians, but… i'm not like other trans men anymore either, right? but still, i am a trans man through and through. it's logical to say i'm not like other lesbians, either. my worldview of gender is fundamentally different from everyone else in the world, anyways.

what is a "man" or "woman" to me is vastly different from an understanding that would usually be based in the gender binary... when i create worlds in stories i write, gender isn't a thing that has high importance. i fundamentally view "women" or "men" as just… a neutral form, a shape, that has no real meaning beyond the appearance. someone isn't gonna get singled out, put down, praised, or anything like that just for being a certain gender. moreover, words like "trans" or "gay" or "lesbian" or "bisexual" don't even exist because of the society that world has that has no need for those words to define oneself against a "cishet" norm. there is no cishet norm. there are no such labels. this is my "ideal" worldview of gender that makes the most sense. (there are ways trans people are handled in-universe, but that's for another time.)

so when translating real world labels like "lesbian" into that world, it manifests a bit differently. for instance, i have a masculine-appearing character with a feminine name, a higher-range voice, and has rose motifs. this masculine character is meant to be analogous to a princely butch lesbian, even though no such word exists. this character flirts often with feminine-appearing characters. presumably, these would be "women," but some "men" would be feminine-appearing as well. although he is a "lesbian," he is attracted to some kinds of men, but they're very unconventional kinds of men. kind of... much like myself. (i do strongly express attraction to men from time to time, but literally only feminine/androgynous types... in this sort of unique worldview of gender, in context with everything else about myself, i classify that as lesbian or lesbian-adjacent.)

so wouldn't it make more sense for me to have "no labels" then? but that's a bit difficult, because i don't live in that world i created, i live in this world with all of you who create these labels and definitions and place importance upon them. importance i resonate with. importance in the way i can't give up being a "trans male" even though my experience isn't close to most trans men in general. importance in the way i just want to be accepted as a "lesbian" because that community, especially in its transmasc and nonbinary members, is the closest thing to my experiences, and yet i feel gatekept out of it; shunned out of it. even though i'm nowhere near the kind of person you should be shunning out of the community.

i've resonated strongly with "transhet" before. i still do. it's a wonderful label and experience to describe myself. but i do feel like there's such a strong overlap with being "lesbian" that i feel i should be part of that label and community as well. i can't ignore a community and its experiences, that has such a strong similarity to myself and my experiences, only to be gatekept by one measly word. to be told i can't possibly understand what it's like to be a lesbian.

i think of myself as treading that line between being a transmasc lesbian and a transhet male. flipping back and forth, but also strongly resonant with both sides -- but defining it for myself.

i can only hope the friends that distanced themselves from me for this don't hate me anymore. that they don't think i'm an uncomfortable or unsafe person. i can only hope they will come to understand the journey i've gone through.

[transmascrage]

TLOU Episode 3 and Masculinity

(Crossposted on Reddit, that's why I'm explaining that I'm trans)

I hadn't cried this hard in so long. This episode broke me in the best way.

It's not just the beautiful life Bill and Frank have together, it's how deeply I felt their first meeting. Bill being so hunched over and stiff until he realized Frank was safe to be queer and vulnerable around, and them crying because they found another person like themselves in the apocalypse.

Queer people still experience these emotions without all the zombies around, and it was so great to see happy queer people in a genre-setting where many fans assume a patriarchal and heteronormative system will be the norm, and that all civil and social rights "won't matter anymore". Lord knows how many times I've heard people say "If we were in the apocalypse, no one would respect your pronouns" like that's supposed to hurt my feelings? Bring back the attack helicopter jokes at this point.

I feel like unless you're queer yourself, you won't understand why Frank asking "Who's the girl?" and Bill replying "There is no girl" and bursting into tears says so much with few words.

Frank is testing the waters, he can tell Bill has some queerness to him (gaydar is real, it's just being able to pick up on subtle cues, and the only reason most cishet people are bad at it is becayse you need to engage with queer spaces and media to see them), but he's testing how aware Bill is of it and how he'll react to a gay man near him when he's repressed it for so long.

And Bill breaks down because he feels safe enough to do so around him, and he can tell Frank will understand why there is no girl.

And then later, Frank asking if he's ever had sex with anyone before, and Bill saying "There was a girl, a long time ago" and Frank saying "I know" made me so emotional because Frank is saying "I know you tried to fit in, and it didn't work".

And then I cried again when Frank asked him to spend their last day together. And then again when Bill decided to die with him.

Bill's message to Joel reminded me of some old queer books, like Stone Butch Blues, I read where butch lesbians defend their femme lovers, or where sensitive, femme gay men are defended by masc gay men. Not as a "simulation" of het relationships, but as a way of protecting the less vulnerable members of the community.

After all, while Bill is the one mostly protecting Frank, Frank also defends Bill when the raiders attack. He jumps in the line of fire to take him back inside and tends to his wound, saving his life. And Tess isn't just a "defendee" either, she's very capable and protects Joel and Ellie (as well as herself) in the short time we see her. Furthermore, she's never treated by Joel as just someone to protect. While he wants her to be safe, he lets her do her thing while guaranteeing her backup if she needs it.

It's like when adult queer people (the mature ones, at least) defend younger queer people with tooth and nail, because they can be really obnoxious and open about their queerness (in an endearing way, I promise!) and we won't let the world hurt our young. It's saying, "Actually, making your entire personality about being gay/trans IS a necessary part of the process, so fuck off!"

I saw someone on TikTok say episode 3 made him want to be a better man, and I think protecting the people you love is an amazing ideal of masculinity to uphold. I'm a trans man, which means I've had to analyze my view of manhood and masculinity than most cis men do, and I also think this is the conclusion I've gotten to.

Lastly, I'm actually pleasantly surprised at how the fandom took this episode! I mean yeah, there were the expected homophobic comments, but they're so cartoonishly hateful it's hard to take them seriously.

The rest of the public saying they disliked it seemed to be people who wanted the episode to be like the game, and for Joel to meet up with Bill. Which is fair, honestly (though I disagree).

The rest has been really accepting! I've seen so many cishet men saying they loved the episode and even cried watching it. It makes me hopeful that things are getting better even in fandom spaces that are traditionally homophobic, like gaming communities.

[menalez]

What's your opinion on the phrase 'if you've ever had sex with a man you can't be a lesbian.'? Because I've seen it said a few times, and I'm just wondering about latebloomers (lesbians who came out later in life) and how some people think they can't be lesbian. What if you found out you were homosexual when you were older, but you have had nonsensual sex with a man in the past before you realised you didn't like men. Basically what I've heard is that only goldstars can be lesbians. What are your thoughts if you are okay with sharing?

i think that in an ideal world that would be true, but in a world where women are socialised to disregard our boundaries, prioritise men, be polite, not say no, etc + a world where being with men is not only the norm but ur duty as a woman + a world where violent homophobia exists, sometimes to the degree of our governments executing us for being gay, it doesn’t make much sense. can lesbians enjoy sex with men? no. do lesbians ever want to have sex with men? also no. is it possible for a lesbian to be with a man? not happily, not without reservations & signs throughout that it’s unwanted but yes.

also ive met a genuine late bloomer lesbian in my life. she comes from a very religious family and married a man to please said family despite not wanting to whatsoever. she eventually came out and risked losing everything, and from what i heard she did lose (almost) everything. some of the discourse on here is so terminally online that it assumes every ngs is just bi pretending to be a lesbian online for points and yet fail to realise that the vast majority of lesbians worldwide do not have the privilege nor the type of freedom that would encourage us to risk our lives for internet points + that would protect us from things we do not want (any kind of romantic/sexual relationships with men). that doesnt somehow mean we have some underlying attraction to men

[girlscience]

AND ANOTHER THING! I will think up a fictional relationship to fit in some fantasy world and it will be like fantasy idealized self insert me and some guy and it'll be nice and good. but then there will be zero physical intimacy OR for a fun kicker, I will become the guy while doing physically intimate things with my fantasy self insert. which is a trip and a half I'll tell you that. And I've been doing it since I was a pretty young person. And also I think, sure! I like fictional men and if I just found a man like them irl I would date them. But they do have irl counter parts in either their actors (if in live action) or in cosplayers! And I can genuinely say I have never once found a character's actor attractive if it was a man, women on the other hand, all their actors are stunning and I find them attractive all the time. And then cosplayers, every single woman who has ever cosplayed any fictional man I like is so fucking sexy. I don't know what it is about that but it just does something to my brain sorry not sorry... but I will see the exact same characters cosplayed by men and go mmmm ehhhhh you don't look right.

But I don't think men are ugly or gross or whatever (at least not all of them... i am so sorry men but a lot of you are just extremely bland... like um bread. and nearly all women are just overwhelmingly attractive). and I have had or have real close relationships with men and have emotional connections with them so like why couldn't i date them? cause i don't really understand what the difference is between being friends and being in a relationship (outside of sex but then you can have sex with your friends and that just makes everything MORE confusing). but also for some reason my brain is just like No. No dating men.

which all makes me think ah yea lesbian. but i had a crush on a guy. and if i'm aromantic then the romance part doesn't fucking matter to begin with!!! *flips table* because then i wouldn't want to date women either! and like there's a lot of relationship stuff i do not want at all, but sometimes i think some of it might be okay but also it's scary and anxiety inducing, but i don't know if that's cause i'm aro or because i've never been in a relationship and have been told my whole life gay relationships are evil OR if it's just because i don't like things like eye contact and most forms of physical touch!!! AAAAAAAAAA

you guys see my fucking dilemma right???? how am i supposed to figure this shit out!!! and some people will say "go see a therapist about this" (you know who you are lol) BUT therapists aren't supposed to tell you "here is what you are" unless it's a mental health diagnosis, right? they are supposed to help you and give you the tools to figure this out on your own, but if I WAS going to figure it out I would goddamn think I would have after nearly 25 fucking years of life and thinking about this problem EVERY GODDAMN DAY SINCE I WAS 11!!!!!!!

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

Bioshock!Qrow.

For context, I run a discord rp server dedicated to the world building behind the setting of the first two Bioshock games, Rapture, and for those who haven't played the games, Rapture is an underwater city.

Following Head canons/server canons are:

-Qrow is a luke warm christian. He's a man of god, though he doesn't heed everything in the bible, in fact he finds the book rather ridiculous and that a man made scripture is not an accurate representation of god's will. Swearing like a sailor, partaking in ilicite substances, and his swinger tendencies, along with a career riddled in assination and other crimes during his time in the mafia, Qrow is far from the ideal christian, but he is a man of righteousness and and he will always stand by what he believes in and fight for what he believes is right.

-Qrow is a mercenary for hire, though most of his jobs tend to be bounty hunting. As a result of this as well as his past as a ruthless killer for the mafia, Qrow is a well known and greatly feared man.

-He's a bisexual man with polyamours tendacies.

-In the image above, Qrow is slowly disintigrating into a flock of birds, that isn't a cool, edgy artistic choice. When I made this bioshock version of Qrow, my adaptation of Qrow's ability involved a plasmid based on the Bioshock Infinite's Vigor called Murder Of Crows, which allows the player to summon a flock(murder) of crows. Qrow's plasmid is unique from the vigor when it comes to how the birds are summoned about. Similar to his shape shifting abilities in RWBY how Qrow can turn into a single crow, this plasmid allows him to split his body up into a murder of crows ranging up to 5-8 birds depending on the seasons. Additionally, the more of his body he sacrifices to the crow(s), the more durable, violent, and destructive they are, as well as how strong his conciousness is instilled into them. Additionally the potentcy of his sacrifice is split between birds, so if he were to fully transform into a single bird, full body, it would cause him to have an insatiable blood lust, go berzerk, and be very tough to take out for a crow, and that's not accounting for evasive abilities that come with being a bird of flight. However there are flaws to this plasmid, if a crow is killed in combat, it reflects back onto Qrow and causes him physical harm. The severity of his injuries are dictated by how many crows are killed, and how much of his body is sacrificed to the crows. If Qrow inserts full body into the murder/crow, and all birds or the single bird is killed, Qrow will die. Safe to say, he has to be strategic about how he uses this plasmid.

Backstory: TW of suicide, abuse, gore, and torture.

-Was born in rapture, He was raised up to the age of 12 in a strict, Christian house hold. That came to an end abruptly and violently when his homophobic father found out that he was gay (Obviously being 12, he didn't fully understand what it meant to be gay, he thought it just meant that he liked boys, not accounting that he like boys and girls.) and as result of this being physically assaulted. This caused his mother to step in, and in a revelation, his father learned that he was being used as a cover-up for his lesbian wife, and as a result of this revelation, his father grabbed a revolver and shot his mother, got Raven in the arm as the two tried to flee, and ended up taking his own life out of grief. Raven and Qrow barely escaped with their own lives.

-The twins were found by the head of the local mafia of Rapture and their soon to be adoptive father. He raised the twins and trained them to kill. They would later on be the body guards for the children of two well regarded henchmen to the head of the mafia. Those children are Summer and Tai Yang.

-A few years later, the twins are all grow up long with the mafia children they protected, and they're all good friends. Eventually Tai and Raven get together. A drunken accident leads to Yang being born. Raven, not ready to be a mother, ends up taking on a bulk of head hunting work. Her absense leads to Tai finding solace in Summer. The two get married and bring Ruby into the world. Unlike his sister, Qrow is present for both girls, and is a rolemodel and parental figure to both of them.

-three years later, Raven is asked to escort Summer and Tai to a formal party being thrown by a major financial supporter of their mafia group. Qrow stays with the kids, and the parents are out enjoying themselves. The party ends up under attack by a rival gang, and by the end of it, only Tai makes it out. Raven is never found, and Summer goes missing as well, only turning up 3 weeks later in pieces, likely murdered by the rivals. Raven is still never found.

-Qrow and Tai take up the role of raising the girls together, both of them dealing with the grief of their missing loved ones.

-Yang is 17, and Ruby is 15 when the family of four are attacked by a group of highly trained mercenaries of which is lead by the once missing Raven. The four are handed over to a scientist in return for Raven getting a handsome sum of money. studying the affects of ADAM and plasmids. The four were experimented on.

-By the end of it, although having odd powers, Tai and and Qrow are the only ones to come out of it unscaved. Qrow manages to break free, using a rifle the scientis kept on hand to kill him, and free Tai of his imprisonment. The two men find Ruby and Yang. the girls aren't fairing well, having fallen into a zombie like state. They're morbidly disfigured by the experimentation, and are in great pain.

-Realizing the girls have no quality of life to look forward to, Qrow opts to do the most painful thing he could ever do, and that's to put the two girls out of their misery, but Tai fights him back, struggling with him for the gun, only when failing rushes over to the girls, sheilding them with his body.

-As Qrow tries to explain the gravity of the girls' situation to Tai and how it's the right thing to do or else they would suffer. This ends up not working. Instead the girls turn savage, and they end up tearing into Tai, ripping out his throat and intestines. Tai ends up dead. Seeing what happened to Tai as a result of letting the girls live, Qrow makes the painful decision to kill both of the girls.

-The after math of this event lead to Qrow's alcohol addiction. There was a short period of time in Qrow's grief where he attempted to track down Raven and to exact vengance for her betrayal, before finally realizing his attempts were futile, and eventually settling down and doing primarily bounty hunting for a living.

As for Raven? She's somewhere. No one knows what happened to her after that night. All that is known is that she was there when Summer was captured, and when she couldn't save her, she turned tail and ran out of fear of what would happen to her as a result. She only came back when she was in need of money, and when asking Tai for money proved futile, she resorted to more extreme measures. The selling of her own family to a less than ethical scientist.

Obviously this isn't very well written and there's a lot of details left out, but this isn't made to be a super detailed backstory it's a summary.

So this is Qrow if he were adapted to the Bioshock universe. Feel free to ask questions.

Additional Headcanons I forgot about when initially writing this:

-Qrow's tattoo is a memorial piece for his fallen loved ones. As of now, it consists of Yang, Tai, Ruby, and Summer, but Qrow does intend to extend the piece to include imagery that represents his mother.

[realasslesbian]

Out of pure curiosity, may I ask what it has in been like working in law while most everything doesn’t support women, much less lesbians?

Well, much like any other industry the law is a ‘man’s playground’ so to speak and there are aspects of that which are frustrating (i.e. as a young woman trying to get your foot in at a law firm your grades aren’t nearly as important as your appearance, I’ve literally never met any young woman in a legal role who didn’t look freshly waxed, tanned and surgically altered, but I digress)

But the saving grace for me is that there are actually so many incredible women in the legal profession who are standing up for women and lesbians. Think of any famous (or infamous) radical feminist and chances are she has a law degree. In Australia we have organisations like the Feminist Legal Clinic and lawyers turned politicians like Katherine Deves who are loudly defending the sex-based rights of women. Historically women in the legal profession have always been on the frontline of feminism and have done a lot of the heavy lifting irt changing laws to improve the condition of women. 

I guess it can be a little dystopic sometimes though. There’s not much room for blissful ignorance as a lawyer so being constantly aware of every little detail of womens historical and modern-day oppression can be heavy. Especially because a lot of women’s liberation under the law is still very fresh, in the context of the law as a whole, and thus actually very legally tenuous. The law isn’t as dynamic as many a layman would believe and in fact (at least in most Commonwealth-derived legal systems) is mostly based on historical legal precedent. For example, murder being illegal is based on hundreds, if not thousands, of years of historical legal precedent. It’s a very strong law (obviously lmao). But women being able to vote? Well, in a lot of cases that’s only got a few decades of legal precedent behind it. It doesn’t take much to undo something like that (i.e. think of how abortion laws were undone in the US, you’d never get something like that happening to a ‘man’s right to own property’ (but it could very well happen to a woman’s right to own property, because there is far less legal precedent upholding that right)). 

Lesbian rights are probably in an even worse position, since the few countries that do have legally enshrined rights for lesbians have mostly only had those rights for less than a decade. So basically no legal precedent at all there. Also, most countries who have written laws protecting lesbians have done so in direct conflict with other countries in their region (for example, Australia’s marriage equality and anti-discrimination laws are in conflict with most of our Asia-Pacific neighbours who still criminalise homosexuality). From an international legal perspective that’s not ideal and is a good excuse (legally speaking) to wind back gay rights in Australia. Then, leading on from that, most countries in the world don’t have any protections for lesbians whatsoever. In fact what most countries in the world have for lesbians is fines, jail time, public lashings and the death penalty. But this widespread and absolutely brutal human rights issue doesn’t get any attention at all in comparison to other more general (and dare I say less serious) womens rights issues that mostly impact heterosexual women, like for example womens rights irt to hijab in Iran or Afghanistan.

But anyway, while most people might take womens rights to vote or earn equal pay or own property or whatnot for granted, as a lawyer you’re always very aware that those laws are just one pen stroke away from being revoked at any time. And that in fact, in most places in the world women (especially lesbians) don’t have any real rights or protections or anything at all. But hey, I guess that’s also probably what motivates a lot of female legal professionals. It motivates me. There’s no resting irt to womens rights under the law. It’s a constant uphill battle. I got a lot of respect for the legal women fighting that battle.

[spirituallesbianblog]

Relationship Nirvana - The Future Of Same-Sex Love

'I want to be loved'

To be honored cherished and known for the ancient soul who came from the stars to find their heart's desire. She will be beautifully spirited and unique trying to understand her innate humanness. The sparks will fly when the energies connect sending an aura of love throughout the world and universe. This feminine is galactic yet part of this earthly home. An explorer seeking the higher ground with loving intent for others like her. Together we will lift this world from the ashes of sufferance and create a magical garden of grandeur where souls know their worth and bring the glory of gratitude to a globe of intolerance. My other self will be a woman of heart and exude this motif of love to those needing assurance. She instinctively knows life is a travesty of conflict and contrast. A colosseum of infinite tears where God has no entry and the light is filtered by confused thinking. My soul calls in this eternal flame a crystalline star of importance as heaven embellishes the earth. The challenge is set for counterparts to unite and spread their wings of love for others to follow and transcend the 3-D traditional concepts of romantic relationships.

'We are on the path of tomorrow a place of change and much joy in the universe as soulmates align for the chance to showcase a new and intimate way to love'

This is embedded in a connection to the divine and runs like a stream of hope from one counterpart to the other. In this space of transition, we see a drawbridge being raised on the earthly interactions as the sun rises on a distorted Eden. A garden where masculines have defined love as control and view the feminine in a submissive light. And in doing so repeat the patterns guided by past voices who were guided by those who came before. The revolution begins as spiritual and human combine to bring the light of God upon our unions in a blessed fusion of love sourced from a universe of infinite wisdom and awareness. A blueprint of love so unconditional our hearts are immune to the bliss. This is the mainframe of our soul party on earth where the lessons require the harsher aspects of life to shuttle us back to our origins. Coming here is like a puzzle without pieces we eloquently find through the most trying of times or the euphoric feelings of love. The name of this game is enlightenment and the way there can be a quest of hardship. This comes in various forms as a test of our soul conviction and allegiance to the depths of who we are. It is a twisted rhetoric designed to confuse and take us off our path of divinity. So far it's working well except for the legion of light-bringers holding court in a unity of love.

'The revolution has begun as we share the message we are all of a Picasso-themed universe - Colorful and abstract'

The call center of the divine with helpers always at hand ready to motivate a soul struggling to find their way in human form. And that would be for many lesbians or bisexual souls who feel the wrath of a collective tuned into the religious vibe of separatist neglect. A state of being for many of my LGBT friends who have honored themself but walked the fire of parents and bigots who cannot feel into the hearts of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Their limited vision is a product of learned ideals supplemented by a God that defames same-sex love. I stand in the light of a divine god loving and co-creative with their often unorthodox flock. Each one makes up the whole of all souls illuminating their path with a unique perspective and allowing the universe to enrich its awareness. I am a spiritual lesbian blessed to know her worth on a planet of repressed; people. Under the dome of passive thinking, I share my unique stance of loving another woman instead of a man. This is my soul's insistence to shake things up with my self-loving attitude in an ambiance of mixed views.

'I love the challenge and embrace my divine feminine path as a woman who loves women romantically, sexually, and from the soul'

'Have you ever walked past a stranger and felt a magnetic pull that causes you to look back as they are walking away?'

This can be a sure sign of connection. Not just in this life but perhaps from many before. The allure of recognition breathes a romantic light into the hearts of those who pick up the signal of a lover that has crossed the great divide to reunite in this incarnation. The vehicle is the efficient transport of reincarnation an innovative idea invented by a creator whose magnificent universe is a testament to their genius manifesto. And the prophetic way we return to this earthly space-time and time again for the sheer joy of being human while setting tasks that create expansion within us and the universe. We in fact construct an intricate chart with astrological influence and the purpose of spending a lifetime on a picturesque planet. It is here we find love an indescribable feeling that defies all logic and sense of why we fall so loving into the arms of a person we may know little about but intuit their heart as a destined connection. This person is a soul with a potential history that dates back eons as your wife, husband, or star-crossed lover. Back for a re-run and desire to recreate a soulmate love so memorable, it shifted timelines to find you again. A premise ignited by the divine a creator of intense magnitude. An inventor of all we know with whatever level of awareness we possess.

'Love is the award for taking part in the theater of life and played out as a mother nurturing her newborn to a lover down on one knee calling in their true counterpart'

Love strikes like a sword to the heart inflaming the soul with memories of other lives in an ecstatic interplay of god's gift to their soulful offspring. We love to love and climb mountains to feel the heights of making love to a desired partner who reciprocates being madly in love. A driving force that throws caution to the wind when the energy of another collides with yours causing an eruption of emotions. The love virus is incurable and takes the most sensible of souls to a place of crazed excitement with one lingering look or sensual rapport. All, signs of being in tune with each other's values or compatible stance can leave the planet as love takes hold with its certifiably insane allure. For me, this ancient traveler is a goddess or woman of lesbian or bisexual sexuality. Her look may have changed as in a past life she may indeed have been a man or woman from any part of this diverse world. Meeting this human will be a remembrance of the soul that transmits the familiar even though the human is in a unique cloaking designated for the current life path.

'This is where the fun begins as eyes meet in a magnetic dance of recall'

A signature of souls born to motivate a new wave of love to Planet Earth. A platform of separate ideals shared and unshared by a maturing species that adheres to the difference in others rather than the likeness. As souls trekking the earthly turf we understand and entertain the belief in a creator's curious, inquisitive mind. A masterful imagination that forged a universe with a manifestation of love as the divine so desired connection. The fundamental wanting of all living things and ironically what we so often lack. Our world is crumbling from within as we honor isolation as a shield to not getting hurt in love. And why so many are opting for the independence that vanquishes a need for closeness. The kind that shies away from relationships as a cautionary way to avoid intimacy. A deeply felt glow of love that surpasses the ordinary as lovers call in their capacity to unite in ways not always known when your schooling in partnerships is limited. Many of us grew up with parents struggling to open their hearts as their teachers were stoically educated to approach connection in a closed-off style of caring.

'This guarding of the heart was for public appearances in many cultures where shows of affection were not considered cool or appropriate'

'It is our stilted intent that has caused a fractured vision of how we are supposed to navigate love and relationships'

With religion and cultural beliefs in the mix it's no wonder our world has dishonored love and called it names like control, abuse, and manipulation. Even so, we all still want to be loved and feel the freedom that comes with a wild abandonment of high-frequency emotions. It is here we link up with the original concept of love in its purest form. Our lives are combative and love gets lost in the translation as we carry the seed of past generations and their tangled web of relationship torment. How we got here goes back a long way but it is not impossible to turn the tide with changes to negative patterns and programming. We need to unravel what we know. and that's a massive ask when it could be ingrained in our ancestry DNA.  If we want to step into a future of 'relationship nirvana' our attitudes need to change. As a spiritual lesbian, I have been learning how to pioneer a same-sex partnership that is not only compatible but highly sensual, with differences that complement not detract. I love to communicate on a soul and human level that amplifies connection and resolution when past triggers are sparked.

'We all have past unions that may have ended due to a breakdown in our own personal view of how a relationship should work'

The problem is we have centuries of fixed thinking and as a lesbian aware it's a tough road when one or both partners have come from troubled childhoods, dragging their pain with them. We may all want to be loved but love is enhanced when we understand why we have unhealed wounds. In fact, this planet is a sphere of unattended hurts and this is the bag carried when a person enters a new relationship under the weight of a shattered heart. I am an aware outed lesbian who sees pain hidden by so many and how it is sanctioned on the surface as projected hurt. The truth is our world is a swimming pool of people trying to make sense of others and how to interact on a level that is mutually appreciated. For me, that is on a human and soul level making an exchange a highly emotive encounter and why I am invested in the idea we can step up our game in the arena of partnerships. But only if we are willing to learn from those who are of great service with their expertise.

'At the core of our attraction to others is often a mirroring of their similarities and past trauma'

This brings the fires of hell to our relationships garnished with childhood abuse or guardians who were inhibited with emotionality. My instinctive nature wanted to know why so many marriages were ending in divorce and followed a trail of curiosity to the doors of those who had answers I could relate to. I swiftly learned we are victims of our own misunderstandings and that love can't fix everything that opposes togetherness. This can play out as a bisexual woman who was abandoned by a parent and is co-dependent for fear of losing a partner the way their father left their mother and them. In fact, my eyes were truly opened to the carnage that can ensue from wounds that run so deep the holder of them cannot open their heart fully to another. The cuts of gay women are scattered like soul fragments throughout this world and universe. We feel the pain of each other through a shimmering chord of sisterhood that not only holds the unity of a collective past and present. But the historic wounding of our relationships battered by dysfunction. As we choose to showcase our unique lesbian lights we bring our special code of difference to the world. This is my heartfelt quest for the future of same-sex love. An enlightened relationship that surpasses the perspective honored by those who repeat their partnerships in a similar style to their parents. We owe it to ourselves to raise the bar as diplomats of divinity and the future of same-sex love

'Relationship Nirvana can transcend old thinking and take all partnerships to the next level of spiritual, human, and soul union - It takes a lacing of earthly psychology and innovative ideas lovingly infused with divinity'

Author ~ Linda E Cole (The Divine Feminine)