#LOOK the lore goes hard you gotta admit

[scrawnytreedemon]

What stupid names? Can I know the names?

Ghirahim, Sephiroth, Zant, Kirby... I'm blanking but I know I have so many more.

(shout-outs to Cris!!! love ya buddy xoxo)

Micolash is a perfectly respectable irl name(a Hungarian variation of "Nikolas", iirc), but on him it has such a Vibe but then again I am writing Him. The name is the least outrageous thing here lmao.

In general, I tend to like villains, and villains tend to have "stupid-as-fuck-on-a-real-person" names. They might be perfectly serviceable with titles, but the moment you take them into a more intimate setting it's just... Bro. You're getting called that, on a day-to-day basis?

God, so sorry for blanking out on the more ridiculous names, I know I have more... But I think the grandiosity of the first two should do plenty well.

[abnormallynice]

TWEWY Joshneku City of Angels AU lets gooooooooo when you just gotta admit "who am I kidding Im never coming back to this even though I reaaally want to asdfgh I'll just post what I have"

[Wall of text of lore below~]

TW// Suicidal ideation Angels wander the city of Shibiya to lead spirits to the afterlife. They cannot be seen, unless they want to be and have no personal want of emotions or free will. They cannot feel the way humans do. Physically or emotionally.

Angel Joshua arrives to lead away suicidal teen, Neku. But he wavers and Neku decides against his decision. Joshua becomes intrigued by Neku when the teenager goes out of their way to save the life of another, when Neku was so ready to give up on their own. It's a spark of fascination for Joshua that quickly fades, as time goes on and the depressed-teen-turned-hero-friend fades to memory.

Years later and Joshua is doing the rounds in a local hospital when he spies a familiar face. Neku, now in scrubs, doing his medical residency. During a young patient's last moments, Neku refuses to let the child die and his eyes meet with Joshua's. Neku doesn't see the angel of course, but a familiar spark lights up in Josh. He begins to follow Neku's daily comings and goings in the hospital, then outside of the hospital. Despite careful (but entertained) warning from his angelic colleges, Joshua makes himself known to Neku, and only Neku.

Apprehensive and disbelieving at first, Neku eventually begins to believe this angel and they become closer (or as close as one can get to a being with little comprehension about Emotions). Neku decided on a medical career since the day he helped save a (now) friend's life. He wanted to help people but realized that the job was a lot harder on one's emotional and mental well-being. Unfortunately, you lose as many lives as you save in his profession. In talks with Joshua, Neku remembers another thing he loved to do: sing. He never had time to indulge more in this hobby, thanks to his studies but after Joshua mentions how he's got a nice voice, he begins to experiment with the idea of writing music. We also see the two try to make sense of Joshua's sudden interest in human free will, and thanks to a friend(?) of Joshua's, they locate someone interesting: a fallen Angel. He explains that when an Angel falls from Grace and obtain free will, they become human and receive all the pros and cons that come with it. However, it's not an easy thing for an Angel to do; physically and morally. Also fun fact: fallen angels can see other angels, all the time.

Regardless, Neku starts catching feelings for Joshua and the Angel finds himself mentally struggling to make sense of human attraction. It's like an itch he can never reach, much less scratch. Frustrated and unable to get through Joshua's hard shell (or understand his motives), Neku leaves Shibuya without resolution with Josh.

Joshua is an Angel assigned to Shibuya, and thus unable to leave to look for Neku. The time apart does something to him, and he feels what he believes is loneliness. Or heartache? Whatever it is, the thought of never seeing Neku again is horrifying. He does the unthinkable and Falls. When he wakes up, everything hurts. Hurts. He bleeds, his stomach turns from hunger, his eyes ache and tears stream down his face. But he's...happy. He feels exuberant joy. Joshua travels across the boundaries of his world, exits Shibuya and follows Neku's trail.

Neku answers the door to a rain-soaked, ripped clothing, feet bleeding, wide grin now-human, Joshua. He has little time to process the scene before him, before Joshua word vomits all these new sensations he's been having and confesses his feelings for Neku. How else can Neku respond but with a kiss (now that they can physically touch each other) and they spend the night together.

Neku later explains that he needed some alone time to think, so he cashed in a favor. He left to take a break, but then took the opportunity to make lemonade, so to speak. Neku used a friend's recording studio outside the city to write a song and record it. Upon hearing it, Joshua was brought to tears. It was beautifully melancholic, but hopeful. It suited Neku.

A few days on and the couple is relishing this time together... but disaster inevitably arrives. Neku leaves on a bike to retrieve some groceries, leaving Joshua behind with a "Be right back." Only minutes later does Joshua feel anxiety grip him and he knows something bad has happened. He runs the road that Neku took, finding the young man in the street, having been in a traffic accident. Neku mumbles something about a beautiful light, then dies in Joshua's arms.

The days both drag on and fly by as Joshua tries to now live as a human without the person he wanted to be human with. Despite it all, Neku had met good people and they help Joshua through his turmoil. Eventually, Joshua decides to release Neku's song to the world and it grips anyone who hears it. His life is lost, but his voice will live on and fill his (and others) world with music.

Congrats on making it this far please enjoy this [your favorite donut]

[spacegoathours]

Hello! I'm a bit of a new follower of yours, but I've fallen in love with your account: the art, the ocs, speculation, and the friendly asks/responses! I'm an Invader Zim lover, of course, but I only really know the show (a little) and the movie (I have a poster!). I've never even seen the comics.

Anyway, would you like to use this ask to infodump a bit about the stuff that you can't exactly find in the movie/show? I'm a bit foggy about things like Vort and stuff!

I suppose I could google it, and spend a couple hours on old wiki pages, but I feel like this is a more fun way to learn (and interact with the fandom), hopefully for both of us!

Thanks! :) (And hopefully this hasn't been asked yet, haha. I won't be hurt if you leave this ask in the inbox! I know running accounts can be a bit exhausting!)

hello!! this is so sweet, thank you! i’m glad you’re enjoying my blog, i pour a lot of love into it. :)

gotta admit tho, i haven’t read the comics either!! read a few but never committed to finishing them all…someday!!! though my understanding is that there isn’t a spectacular amount of lore in them, they kinda do their own thing, but i don’t want to speak without knowing for sure. there might be PAK lore in there? and Zib came out of the comics, which is a fairly popular character in the fandom. (I might have this wrong because I haven’t read but…Zib is the result of Dib winning in one of many timelines, Zim’s PAK attaches to the back of his head and he goes insane…?)

UGH I COULD TALK ABOUT VORT FOREVER AND NEVER GET BORED!! the Irken/Vortian alliance is fascinating, and canonically we only get bits and pieces that the fandom has taken and ran with. we know that at some point they were allied, and that the building/planning of the Massive (Irken Armada flagship) occurred on Vort. we know that Vort was marked for conquest in Operation Impending Doom II and was successful taken over by Invader Larb. we know that it’s now a military research prison and that the Vortians were enslaved.

what we DON’T know but can assume: the alliance ended because the Vortians were blamed for Tallest Miyuki’s death - being eaten by an energy-consuming blob made by Zim. this is hard to determine because i mean. a bunch of people were there. Zim was boasting about it. bruh. but Irkens are dumb, actually everyone is dumb in this show. but we all have brainrot here and we take things too far and we love it. anyway. we don’t get to see a lot of Vortians so how many are enslaved? how many died in the organic sweep? how did Lard Nar escape and start the Resisty (speculation from Frycook explains some technology that helped some Vortians escape prison but again that’s assumption)? what does Vort even look like? we may have gotten more had the series not been cancelled before shit got real but!!! alas…..

not knowing the exact extent of your current IZ knowledge, I might have just spoken in a totally different language LOL. but thank you for letting me infodump!! my brain doesn’t work well for remembering details or speculating very deep, so I often end up repeating myself, but it’s fun nonetheless. I appreciate you 💜✨

[dean-mikaelson]

You’re poison, running through my veins

Also posted on AO3

Claire finds a weird case. There's bodies drained of blood (obviously a vampire, right?), but the victims hearts are missing, too (so werewolf?? ‘’no, Dean, I’m not calling it a werepire, it’s dumb). She's going alone to see what the hell is going on. 

She doesn't expect it to be an actual freaking tribrid of a vampire, werewolf and a goddamn witch for fuck’s sake; part of the original family, because why the fuck not at this point; and a daughter of Klaus Mikaelson of all people (monsters?). And she certainly doesn't expect the monster to be so... beautiful.

The hunter stands pointing a gun at the tribrid, looking into the gold eyes turning into ocean blue, wicked smile spreading across the girl's face, she hesitates only for a moment, but it's enough to let her get away. She looks around, "fuck." What the hell?

They meet again a few times, Claire can never get herself to pull the trigger, and to be honest she's not even sure it would do anything to hurt someone (something, she reminds herself) like her, but there's not a lot of lore on how to kill a tribrid (shocking), so she has to improvise. What's worse, their little "meetings" start to be... kind of fun. She doesn't even know when the job turned into a game, but Hope (because of course Claire in on a first name basis with a fucking monster now, what is she? A Winchester?) finds new ways to trick her, to get away. And Claire's... impressed. Curious. Yep, that's what this is. Definitely.

"Phantamogriphia Decorum," Hope says and a few butterflies appear in her hands, flying up and around them before they dissappear.

"Seriously? Show off, that's your big plan?" She raises her eyebrows at the tribrid, trying really hard not to show how cool she actually thought it was, and starts to raise her hand with a gun, except-

"Looking for this?" Claire looks up, confused, to see Hope standing right where she was, holding her gun and looking amused.

"How did yo- okay. Maybe not your best work, but I gotta admit, that was pretty good," she chuckles, before noticing Hope is slowly moving her way, still holding her loaded gun. Shit.

She starts to panic the closer she gets, but Hope gets into her personal space and holds the gun between them, letting Claire take it. Claire sees the corners of her mouth quirk up when she can't help herself and looks down at the girl's mouth and she scowls before yanking it back from the girl's soft hands she spent probably too much time thinking about in the past months.

"See you soon, Barbie."

Claire opens her mouth to protest (to the nickname? To her leaving?), to say something, not sure what, but the tribrid is gone in a blink of an eye. The hunter groans and turns around on her heels, heading back to her jeep.

"Get a grip, Novak. She's a monster. You're supposed to fucking kill her..." she mutters under her breath the whole way to the car and continous as she drives far, far away from the city.

--

People go missing near New Orleans. It seems like a witch hunt.

It takes Claire five days to narrow down the witch's location and she goes into the woods at night; the witch should be there. She doesn't except to see Hope standing over a table full of candles and herbs and... blood dripping down on a grass. Sacrificial magic? Didn't peg her for the type, something's not right here-

Hope knows she's here, she always does, but she doesn't turn around when she speaks, "fancy seeing you here."

"Sure, lets go with that. What are you doing?"

That makes her turn around to face the hunter, "oh, this? no, don't worry, not me-" she points to the left on a unconscious (dead?) figure of a woman, "- that was her. I stopped her." She bows down a little, because she's extra like that, and Claire rolls her eyes, which makes the tribrid grin. "You're welcome."

"Okay... why?"

Hope tries to clear her bloody hands against her pants, which doesn't help much and she scowls down at them, before starting to walk in the hunter's direction, not worried about the pointed gun.

"Because I don't appreciate some third class witch killing people in my hometown to get revenge on a coven that threw her out for being a bad at what she does. Kinda pathetic if you ask me." She stops when the end of Claire's gun is right against her chest and Claire sucks in a breathe before lowering it down and turning on a safety.

"Your hometown?"

"Oh, yeah, my father was a king of New Orleans," she grins. "I have to protect my kingdom, you know?" Claire snorts.

"Sure, princess. We have to get rid of that body," she says and turns in the woman's direction, but a hand on her arm stops her.

"Don't worry about it," Hope says and with a snap of her fingers the witch's body is on fire.

Claire's eyes wide, "damn, that was awesome."

Hope grins wider, "I know, but there's something else." Claire looks at her questioningly and the tribrid steps closer, right into her personal space and hooks a finger under the hunter's chin. Claire's eyes flutter closed when she feels the girl's warm breath against her lips, and that's when Hope whispers "ad somnum" and everything turns black.

--

You know what else Claire didn’t expect? That Hope would one day put a sleeping spell on her. That she would wake up in a rather comfortable bed, in a nice looking bedroom... craving blood. Hope sitting at the edge of the bed looking at her with a grin on her pretty face. It takes Claire some time to notice an unconscious man tied up to the chair.

"A gift for you," Hope stands up, holding out a hand to help her up, too. "Bon appetite," she adds with a wink.

And well... Claire will think about the consequences later... probably. She knows she should, at least. For now she gives the girl a wide smile and digs in.

The night is even better than she dreamed of. And there's so much more to come.

--

"Why did you do it?" Claire asks one night, almost at the edge of sleep, their bodies tangled together under the covers, "why did you turn me?"

Hope lifts her head up from her chest and kisses her, slow and deep, "because you're fun." She kisses her again. And again. "Because I looked at you and knew you were capable of great things. You just needed a little... help. Now you have all the power you need," Hope smiles.

Claire thinks about the wendigo they killed two nights ago, the ghoul from last month, a vampire pack from around three months ago that liked to drain little kids for fun, just because they thought they could, and many more. Yeah, they're doing good.

If only Jody, Alex and Cas stopped calling her, asking where she disappeared to-

[prozd]

Bones of the Forgotten

For those unaware, when I was 12 years old, I used to write very gritty Mario fanfiction.  The only reason this exists is because we hit a charity milestone for Extra Life (which by the way you can still donate to here: https://www.extra-life.org/participant/450294)

I decided to write the sort of fanfiction that 12 year old me would've enjoyed writing, so here is my love letter to my youth.

A question block can come in handy in a variety of ways.  You just gotta know how to scrap it down.  Easily done enough with a precision focus Fire Flower blowtorch.  The first thing you gotta do is realize there's nothing bringing that sonuvabitch down; those fuckers float in the air forever no matter how much you push or pull 'em.  Instead, you gotta carve off pieces from it as it's floating up there. Awkward at first, but by the fiftieth time, it's fucking clockwork.

Melt down the pieces and you've got the golden goo perfect for crafting all sorts of nasty tools.  A bat made from question block has just enough lightness for a easy swing, but just enough density to still effectively break a kneecap.  A blade still won't pierce, say, a Chain Chomp, but it can at least pierce most Koopa shells.  Plus, some people just like the gold color; they think it looks sick.

I personally think the best use of question block goo is making bullets out of it.  They're denser than most others and they maintain their speed for longer. The only downside is they stand out if you leave them in a body at a crime scene, but that's irrelevant as long as you're cleaning up your messes properly.  If anyone had the time and resources to search the bottom of the sea near Rogueport Docks, I imagine you'd find a glittering trove of golden bullets scattered among the bones of the forgotten.

One of those bullets dances idly through my fingers as I listen to one of my subordinates, a Craw with the quite frankly unfortunate name of Garf, lament about his recent mistreatment by the Syndicate.

"Ishnail, they just stomped the shit out of us!  Gus and I, we weren't doin' NOTHIN' and those leafy fucks attacked us.  Everyone knows the Plaza's neutral territory, we gotta DO somethin' about this."

Craws get a bad rap, in my opinion.  They get labeled as savage, but I've always found them to be much more thoughtful than people would assume.  Even in this moment, as my eyes gaze upon Garf's tattered, bloodied vest and bandana, and his curved beak squawks in rage, I notice the slightest trace of tears at the very edges of his eyes.  Aw.

"Let me ask you one question, Garf."  Out of respect, Garf immediately goes silent. Again, thoughtful.  "Were you and Gus carrying your spears?"

"I......I mean.....we have to, it's part of Craw culture...."

"I'm well aware, but Garf, I'm sure YOU'RE well aware that no weapons are allowed in the Plaza.  I mean, at the very least, keep a goddamn gun hidden in your pocket, don't wave a fucking SPEAR around.  You're just asking for the Piantas to give you a beating."

I get up from the dingy sofa I've been lounging on and dust myself off.  "But I can't have Don Pianta thinking it's okay to fuck up my guys.  I'll have to have a word with the ol' mustachioed fuck."  I pat Garf on the cheek and wipe a tear away with my thumb.  He nods in appreciation.

I motion to two of my subordinates, a scrappy looking Goomba named Goomfrey and a laidback Hammer Brother named Hamma.  We step outside HQ and into the bustling, grimy streets of Rogueport's east side.  

As long as I've lived in Rogueport, it's always carried the smell of the sea in the air.  It's a welcome scent to me, having grown up in the Seaside Kingdom.  My mom was a Bubblainian; she raised me when my deadbeat Koopa dad left us, and what she gave me was the snail shell on my back and a love for the water.  Merchants shouting and the occasional "STOP, THIEF!" ring out as my muscle and I make our way through the Plaza.  We pass the gallows where the Shadow Queen's corpse was supposedly hung from one thousand years ago.  Fittingly gruesome lore for a city filled with murderous rat-bastards.

A sickly sweet scent starts to mingle with the smell of the sea and garbage I'm used to. It's an indication that we're entering the west side of Rogueport. Sure, it's a much tidier area than where the Robbos and I live; there may be fancy-ass things like "flowers" and "benches," how hoity-toity.  You can put lipstick on a Li'l Oink, but it still smells like shit.

We walk into Westside Goods.  There's no need for the customary password; Peeka, the Boo shopkeeper, knows why I'm here.  She opens up the back door, and we walk up the stairs in the back alley to Don Pianta's office.

"Ishnail, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Don Pianta stands behind his desk; as much as I hate to admit it, his presence is overwhelming.  "And you brought friends, too?" he notes as he sees Goomfrey and Hamma.

If you want to live long in Rogueport, every time you enter a room, you have to mentally gauge 1. the quickest way to escape, 2. who you may need to disable and/or kill to escape, and 3. how easy that's all going to be.  Two giant yellow Pianta in suits stand guard at both sides of the Don's desk. A blue Pianta in a white suit, the Don's underboss Frankie, closes the door behind us.  

Piantas are not easy to injure, let alone kill; I know this from years of tangling with the Don's gang.  The little palm trees and skirts would make you think otherwise, but Piantas are naturally built like fucking dump trucks and hit just as hard.  Hamma's a Glitz Pit fighter, and I've seen what he can do with that hammer.  Goomfrey gets underestimated for his species, but his reputation precedes him; he has bitten off more fingers than your average Rogueportian.  Still, a fight against four Piantas, even with my question block bullets, would be brutal.  It's telling that you never see a Pianta with a weapon because nothing will kill you faster than simply their own fists.

"Your men attacked mine, Don.  And for what, carrying spears?  You and I both know that's bullshit."

"My men....have been on edge.  Your little Bandit friends have been scuttling around, picking too many pockets they shouldn't be.  Keep that shit on the East Side where it belongs, and we'll be fine."

As Don Pianta talks, he habitually cracks his knuckles.  Out of all the Piantas in the syndicate, Don Pianta is truly a mammoth; his muscles are barely contained by the suit he's wearing.  Honestly, if he wasn't my ultimate arch-nemesis in this town, shit, I'd fuck him.  I like my men beefy.

"Alright, Don.  I'll tell my boys to keep their weapons out of the plaza.  You and I both know no one benefits if we fight in the streets.  Bad business for both your establishments and mine.  Let's keep things quiet."

"Agreed," The Don extends a giant hand.  I shake it firmly.

I turn to leave with my muscle in tow.  As I open the door to leave, I hear a whisper.

"Get your slimy shell outta here, you fuck."

I pause.  I give Goomfrey the look, and he smirks.  Goomfrey's eyes quickly dart and I know he's already memorizing every little detail about the yellow Pianta who whispered the insult.  Without another word, I close the door behind me.

---

There's one more use for question block goo I forgot to mention.  It's perfect for weighing things down.  

I breathe in the salty seaport air; it's particularly sweet tonight.  The golden bullet dances between my fingers; I know it's a bad habit, but it's fun to fidget with.  It'll go to good use though.  I load it into my Fire Flower pistol with a few others and carefully attach the silencer.

"Now, listen, uh...what was his name again?"

"Paulie," says Goomfrey, standing to my side with a grin.

"That's right, Paulie.  I'm a pretty patient person, I think most people including your boss would agree, but I've got a real sore spot about the shell, ya know?  It's just, it reminds me of my dear old ma, and I love her to bits.  You understand, right?"

There is no response from Paulie due to his crushed windpipe courtesy of Hamma's hammer.  Quite frankly, I'm impressed he's still conscious from the pain.  He looks up at me from his crouching position eyes filled with hate, his hands and feet encased in reforged golden question blocks.  Piantas are heavy, so four blocks worth is safest.

"I did promise the dear Don that I'd keep things quiet, so let's cut to the chase." I point the gun at his forehead and before he can react, I fire three shots.  There's no need to prolong this shit; I'm not a sadist. Hamma and Goomfrey pick up the body and toss it off the port into the sea.

"For what it's worth, boss," says Hamma in a low, pleasant baritone.  "I like your shell.  Looks good on ya."

"Aww, thanks."

[amintyworld]

Child of The Dome (SBI Rust Server)

Platonic Wilbur Soot x Reader and Tommyinnit x Reader. We got Dadbur and Big Broinnit... It’s all about the found family, folks!

A/N: *Gets a SBI Rust fic idea* *Looks up to see its not written and no one is interested in writing it* *Realizing YOU’RE the one who can write it into existence* As a reminder, this is all RP - THE RUST SERVER HAS LORE, GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS! Also, reader is gender neutral. Enjoy! - Minty

TW: Murder, Major Character Death (Kind of, they can respawn?), Religious Themes, Cult-like behavior, Kidnapping, Cannibalism, Cursing, child abuse (?), shooting/gun violence, sickness. (Let me know if I need to tag anything else!)

--------------------------------

Thunder and lightning roared outside of the Dome Church as Wilbur and Tommy sat inside, continuing their sermon to a few others despite the weather conditions. Just a few hours earlier, Sofa had objected when the rain began to leak through the roof, and was promptly locked outside as punishment, which seemed to quickly quiet a few complaints from the others. “Now, my people, you shall not live in fear of the storm for the Dome will protect all who preach and live its word!” Wilbur said, standing at the podium. “Persevere and the Dome will reward you!”

Murmurs of agreement seemed to sweep through the crowd as their feet shivered - bare, wet and cold. They rose to their feet slowly as Iamty began to play the piano and they hummed along with the tune, their spirits beginning to be lifted. Water seeped into their clothes and chills ran down their spine but nonetheless they stood as Seepeekay, the known Minister, began his prepared speech over the music. Tommy walked through the aisle, holding out a basket for donations as the churchgoers threw whatever they could think to offer inside. 

Suddenly a loud knock came from the door - panicked and urgent.

Wilbur grumbled at the interruption, weaving his way through the crowd and opening the door. “Sofa, you have to relearn the Dome’s ways before you can-'' Words died on his lips as Sophie looked to Wilbur worried, a small bundle in her arms. The baby’s cries blended with the thunder and lightning from above, and Wilbur’s eyes scanned the child’s in curiosity.

“Wilbur, I found them outside near the Dome, they’re freezing cold I dunno what to-!” Wilbur’s mind whirred as it began to put the pieces together, frozen in place and not knowing exactly what to do next. Tommy rushed up next to Wilbur, asking what was going on until his gaze landed on the baby as well. “...Wilbur?”

At this, Wilbur’s body quickly snapped to attention, taking the child from Sophie and turning, closing the door shut behind him and keeping Sophie outside. The baby’s eyes glimmered in the light of the torches, their hair a matted and muddy mess padded flat in a circular shape - a dome like shape, if you will. Slowly, he raised his hand to caress the child’s cheek, a fondness beginning to grow in his heart as their cries slowed to a stop, looking up to him in wonder. A loving smile stretched across his face as he booped their nose, sending them into a fit of laughter. Wilbur’s heart couldn’t help but begin to melt at the baby’s smile. He held them close, his own body warmth beginning to warm their small freezing body.

“The storm! It’s stopping!” Pebble shouted as he looked outside, noticing the sun begin to poke through the clouds as the raindrops began to slow.

“Messiah, I believe I have witnessed a miracle today.” Wilbur called as everyone turned to look at him. “This child… this child has stopped the storm, they have stopped the storm for they are a child of the Dome itself. The Dome has spared us for helping one of its own.” Wilbur held up the baby for the congregation to see. “This baby is a miracle and a blessing, a gift of the Dome to us, a gift we must not take lightly.”

“What are we going to do with it?” Scott asked. “Can we- should we just... take them back to the Dome?”

Wilbur couldn’t help the pang of selfishness that came over him at the suggestion. “Take the child back? Slop, the great Dome does not make a mistake. It has given us great gifts and now it’s given us this baby, and you want to rid yourself of them? Shameful! We shall embrace this opportunity, this gift. We’ll make them part of our great family.” Wilbur said, going back to the podium and cradling the child close in his arms. “Since I found them, I’ll look after them.” He moved to press his forehead against the baby’s as the rest of the church looked on in interest. “I dub thee… Dirt.” Wilbur smiled as the congregation erupted in applause.

----------------------------------------

Tommy at first objected to adding another person in their already cramped house, but eventually, though he wouldn’t admit it, he became attached to the kid as the months passed. On a particular cold winter day, your crib was stationed by the fireplace, Wilbur out gathering food and supplies. Tommy had one mission and one mission only - to teach you your first swear.

“Come on, it’s not hard. Just say ‘fuck’. You can do it.” Tommy encouraged as you sat in your crib and looked at him, head tilted slightly in confusion. Your small hands reached out toward him.

“Twoh-towh!” You babbled with a smile, and Tommy’s heart melted at the nickname as he sighed fondly.

“Yeah, Tom-Tom.” He agreed, as you reached toward him, wanting to be let out as he carefully picked you up and held you in his arms. Your hands found their way into his hair as they pulled and played with it, squealing happily. “You really like my hair, don’t you?” He asked, amused until you pulled a bit too hard, making the teenager wince in pain, quickly bringing you back down to sit in his lap. “Okay, you played with my hair for a little while, can you say ‘fuck’ now?” You looked confused, moving to pick up a small pebble on the ground instead. “Dirt, I know you can do it, okay?” He moved you so you sat facing him again, and you huffed slightly at the loss of your pebble. “Say ‘fuck’. Like this: ‘ffff-uck’.” He said slower, as if that could possibly do anything to help. Your head tilted again, confused at why Tommy looked so disgruntled at his wasted efforts. He sighed in defeat, moving to put you back in your crib again.

Anger bubbled inside your chest - you didn’t want to be put back in the crib, you wanted to play. “F...FWOA!” You shouted, making Tommy’s eyes glimmer with hope.

“That’s closer, come on, you can do it, Dirt-!” He said, pausing and holding you in mid-air.

Beginning to put the pieces together, you realized that saying the word will keep you from being put back in the crib. Determined, your mind whirred as it looked to Tommy in curiosity. “Fwok…?”

“Almost there, you almost got it…” Tommy encouraged. “Say ‘fuck’.”

“Fffwok, Fuok… fuck!” You managed after a few tries, and Tommy’s eyes brightened with glee.

“Yes, Dirt. Fuck.”

“Fuck!” You repeated, smiling as Tommy once again smiled, bringing you back to the floor. “Fuck.”

The excitement of the exchange slowly made you grow tired as Tommy shifted, leaning against the wall as you began to drift off against his chest, a tiny fistful of his shirt in your hand. Snow began to fall outside, quickly turning into a snowstorm. Feeling tired and not wanting to disturb the sleeping being on his stomach, Tommy slowly began to drift off, leaning against the wall. Only an hour later Wilbur burst into the scene, firmly closing the door behind himself and carrying three large bundles of wood. He looked around, pulling off the scarf around his face and internally awwing at the sight - Big Brother Tommy, who would have thought? Tommy’s hands never moved from supporting you against his chest, worried about you falling over. Not wanting to disturb the siblings, he quietly shed his snow-covered gear, grabbing a blanket and pulling it up around Tommy’s sleeping form, ruffling his hair slightly and carefully talking you from Tommy’s grasp. Your Dad quickly settled you back in your crib, giving your forehead a soft kiss.

“Goodnight, you two.”

----------------------------------------

You slowly awoke in the warm arms of someone, outside in the snow, and your three-year-old body shivered. Where was Dad? Dad always was there, if not Tommy, so where was he? You looked up to see a hooded figure with jet black hair and blue eyes. Whoever it was, that was not Dad or Tom-Tom, and you began to cry, getting scared and wanting to see them again. Tears ran down your cheeks as the hooded teenager looked panicked. “Shh, shh… please, you’ve gotta be quiet-”

“WA-BA!” You cried, failing your body as you wailed, crying more. 

“Uh, I…” He said, not exactly knowing how to handle the situation. “It’s okay, it’s okay! I know Wilbur, I know your Dad, okay? I’m… I’m taking you right to him, just please stop crying…” He begged. Your body shivered as you sniffled, and let out a sneeze. “Dammit, I told you to stop crying…” He cursed, pulling you closer to his cloak to keep you warm. “Just hold tight, we’re almost there.”

“Wa-ba... “ You sniffed, and the teen’s face shifted into one of… guilt?

“Fucking christ Wilbur what are you doing with a kid-?!” He mumbled to himself, frustrated. “All I wanted to do was check inside and leave, but no.. of fucking course you have a kid-!” You quickly approached a large house of sorts as your captor took a deep breath in front of the door, looking down at you. “Hey, it’s okay. If it goes well, you won’t feel any pain.” He nervously smiled, before looking into your eyes as the smile quickly fell. “Don’t look at me like that, okay? It’s not exactly like I have much of a choice here. If I didn’t return with you, they’d…” He trailed off, before slightly shaking his head of thoughts, pushing the door open and stepping inside. After a few tries, he firmly pulled the door shut, carrying you closer inside and next to a small fireplace that dimly lit the room. “Guys, I’m back. I got the kid.”

Your eyes filled with fear as two figures seemingly appeared from the shadows, smiling and wide-eyed. You quickly drove your face to hide in your captor’s cloak. One with blonde hair and brown eyes reached out toward you slowly, making you retreat further into your captor’s cloaked embrace. “I can’t believe the rumors are true.” The other spoke - much shorter than the other two members, with brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, sporting a green poncho. “The famous ‘Child of the Dome’.” He turned to your cloaked captor. “Much trouble with the wall, Krinios?”

“No, that special ax you gave me worked like a charm,” Krinios replied. Your eyes were fixated on the shorter man’s, noticing how similar to Tommy he looked - they were probably the same age - but something wasn’t right with his eyes. They looked cold and inviting, the light went from where it once had brought warmth and life to the teen - different from the curious scheming brightness of Tommy’s, or how your Dad’s eyes seemed to fill with laughter and love all the time. You didn’t like any of this one bit, you wanted to be back home in Wilbur’s embrace as he’d hum a lullaby, rocking you back and forth to get you to sleep. Not in this room filled with hungry stares and eyes locked onto your body like a wolf’s.

“Come on, little one… I just want to play a game.” The blond one ushered, and you shook your head ‘no’ violently, clinging onto Krinios’s arm tightly, not daring to let go.

“What’s… what’s going on here?” The shorter one asked, gesturing to the scene. “Did they imprint on you or something?”

“Look - I dunno Tubbo,” Krinios admitted, holding up his hands in a sort of surrender. “Maybe they got sick in the cold, they were crying a lot.”

“And you didn’t stuff a sock in their mouth?” The blonde one’s eyes stared down at Krinios’s intently. “I told you we needed the little shit quiet, what if someone heard you?!”

“It’s a baby, Hycei!” Krinios snapped, and Hycei’s mouth turned into a thin line.

“Good god, you feel sympathetic for it…” The blonde groaned before snatching you up forcefully as you let out a wail, grabbing for Krinios desperately. “This is the only way to send a clear message to that freak of a cult that calls itself a church, not to mention Wilbur. We show them what happens when they decide to fuck with us. If we don’t get even now they’ll just keep thinking they can get away with doing whatever they want to us because we won’t fight back.”

“It’s an eye for an eye, Krinios - for all the times they’ve killed us, taken our stuff… they’re bullies, Krinios. Bullies that won’t stop unless we fight back, and Fort Kickass isn’t cowards. Sometimes when you’re the bad guy, Krinios, the only way to fight fire is with fire. Besides,” Tubbo asked, his lips curling in a smile as he unsheathed his knife. “You wanted to try flesh right off the bone, right?” As Tubbo came toward you, you squirmed and tried to wail before Hycei clapped a hand over your mouth to muffle your sound.

“Wait… wait wait wait!” Krinios snapped to action as he thickly swallowed, getting between you and the knife. “What if the kid’s so sick, it affects the flesh? What if we get sick from it?” Tubbo’s cold eyes shifted from his friend’s to the knife in his hand. “I think we should just give it a day or two, you know… maybe this one isn’t the one to try out the new style of flesh thing. Maybe we shouldn’t change perfection, you know what I’m saying?”

“We’ve eaten rotten flesh, I think we’ll be immune to whatever they might have.” Tubbo responded, rolling his eyes. “Don’t forget that those Dome People killed you in cold blood.”

“Aren’t we doing the same thing?” He asked, as the other two’s faces filled with irritation, getting annoyed.

“We’re surviving, Krinios. If you haven’t noticed because of our ‘reputation’ on this server I haven’t eaten in days. I’m hungry.” Hycei said coldly. “Now isn’t the time to be taking the moral high road - do you want to not starve to death?!”

As Krinios hesitated, Tubbo shoved him aside as he approached. “We don’t have time for this.” He huffed, pulling your arm roughly and looking to Hycei. “Hold ‘em still.” You became hysterical, tears flowing freely down your face in panic and wanting to be as far away from that sharp object as possible. As it pressed down and began to cut you let out a shriek in agony as blood and pain overwhelmed your senses, and you bit down on Hycei’s hand, making them retract it and nearly drop you in the process.

He looked pissed. “Why you little-!” Within seconds, pain once again blossomed in your head, your vision swimming with tears. You wanted Dad, you wanted Tom-Tom, you wanted the pain to go away… Whimpering in pain, you curled in on yourself. Your prayers seemed to be quickly answered as the door burst open with two very ticked-off family members you recognized instantly. Wilbur pointed his gun directly at Tubbo’s head as the room began to build with tension, the two leaders just staring at each other. 

“Wilbur.” Tubbo said cooly, putting his bloodied knife back in its sheath.

“Tubbo.” Wilbur growled through his teeth. “Where are they? Where’s Dirt?!”

“Oh, is that what you decided to call them?” Tubbo asked, crossing his arms. “Or did your Dome God decide on it?”

“You’ve crossed the fucking line, Tubbo.” Tommy growled, his ax at the ready. “Dirt didn’t do jack shit to you.”

“Oh, I disagree.” Tubbo spat. “Being a part of your sick cult is enough for me. Even so, you can’t blame a leader trying to feed his people, can you? That’s all this is - survival of the fittest. Getting revenge on both of you, well… that’s just a bonus.”

“You’re a sick freak.” 

“You’re a scamming cultist.” Tubbo retorted, moving to take you from Hycei’s arms. “Question is, who’s worse?”

“Wa-Ba…” You sniffled as Wilbur moved closer, before Tubbo quickly pressed his knife up against your throat.

“Not another step.” Seeing this, Tubbo pointed his gun at Tubbo’s head, though the cannibal leader seemed unphased. “Kill me and I’ll kill them as soon as the bullet leaves the muzzle.”

“Bulllshit.” Tommy angrily shouted, moving forward next to Wil.

“Do you really want to take that risk?”

Wilbur breathed as his mind whirred to try to think of some kind of solution, his gun trained on Tubbo. “Tommy, get ready.”

“What’s it gonna be, Wilbur Soot?”

Quickly, he shot Tubbo in the leg, making him fall and lose his grip on you as Tommy rushed forward, snatching you up and kicking Tubbo in the face as he tried to grab you back. Hycei, on the other hand, rushed toward Wilbur, as the two fought and eventually Wilbur shot him in the arm, then quickly turned to train his gun at Krinios who held up his hands in surrender. When Tommy saw your injuries it broke his heart as he ripped off a bit of cloth and wrapped it around your arm wound temporarily, wrapping your body in warm blankets. He dried your tears as he rushed back towards Wilbur. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”

“You got what you wanted, just leave.” Krinios begged as Wilbur’s gun stayed trained on him. Wilbur, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him, handed the gun to Tommy as Tommy handed you off to your Dad, who carefully ran his hand through your hair, bringing you close and not planning on letting you out of his arms any time soon. 

“You scared me, oh god I thought I lost you…” Wilbur whispered. “It’s okay, it’s all okay now, I’m right here, I’m right here. Shh…” Your hands gripped his shirt and you buried your face in it, feeling comforted by his familiar scent of pine and burnt oak. Your body shook with fear as Wilbur ran his hand along your back in comfort as he turned toward the door. His gentle voice turned cold as he looked toward Tommy, his gun still trained on Krinios. Anger and sadness overwhelmed his heart as he looked upon the one who took you away from him, who tried to take you to your death. Vengeance never tasted so sweet. “Kill him.”

Krinios’s eyes widened. “Wait, wait wait let’s talk about this-!”

Tommy didn’t hesitate as Krinios’s body slumped to the floor as the two made their way back toward the entrance of Fort Kickass. Tubbo sat against the wall, breathing heavily from the pain, glaring at both of them. “This isn’t over.”

“You said you wanted to feed your people, I believe I just provided you with food.” Wilbur shot behind him as he walked toward the entrance. “As for Dirt, if you so much as lay a finger on them I won’t hesitate to take all of you out for good. I wonder who will revive you then.” His eyes glanced over the cannibal leader, making sure Tubbo knew he wasn’t bluffing. “Goodbye, Tubbo.”

[adhdeancas]

Dean Winchester (and the script leaks last night) possessed me to write this.

Dean happens upon Chuck's latest book: Carry On. Except it ends differently than it really went, and the ending? It's really fucking bad.

tw: suicide mention, transphobia (quickly shut the fuck down) 

Dean doesn’t make a habit of going to bookstores. Not because he hates books, contrary to what Sam might think; he just prefers to buy used books. There’s something comforting about a book that has already been worn and read over and over, that already shows how much the previous owner loved it. Plus, y’know, big corporations are evil and all that. And Dean only allows himself to overlook that when his stomach or his wallet wins over his hatred of the shitty mass-produced products. 

This time it was Jack who won; he’s obsessed with this new fantasy series and the new book just came out, so there’s no way he can hunt it down on Ebay. He makes his way to the fantasy and sci-fi section, eyes roaming over the displays of new releases, and his eye catches on something that turns his blood cold. 

“Supernatural: Carry On, The Final Book of the Winchesters’ Epic Journey” takes up a whole table, the generic and overly serious cover jeering out at him. 

He storms over to the display, anger covering up for the way his body feels light as a feather and like lead all at once, and picks up a book. “Why is Sam always fucking shirtless?” he mutters, the only thought that allows itself from the mess inside his head to his mouth. 

“Book sales.” A voice behind him says. He turns to see a teenager with their arms crossed over their work polo, pierced lip fixed into a customer-unfriendly frown.

“People want to see that?”

They snort, a small grin turning up the corner of their lips. It reminds Dean of Cas. “No. But that’s what advertisers think all ‘women’ want,” They use air quotes. 

He raises an eyebrow and asks. “Women?”

They shrug and uncross their arms, leaning back against the display table behind them. Their nametag says Jadyn. “Supernatural’s biggest block of readers is queer. I’d go out on a limb and say a lot of those the marketers think of as ‘women’ aren’t, or if they are, they aren’t itching to see Sam’s six pack.” Jadyn smirks. 

Dean takes a second to digest that, then grins down at the book, thinking past Sam’s apparently badly-received nudity now. “So how’d they like it?” he asks, waving the book a bit and looking up at Jadyn. Apparently they know a lot about the fans of the books, and for once, he’s proud of the way the story ended. 

Jadyn’s face sets into all hard lines. “Most people fucking hated it.” they say bluntly, then, probably remembering that he’s a customer, correct. “Sorry. I mean, it got some good reviews, mostly from people who like Wincest, but beyond that, it had some problematic plot points.”

Dean winces at the reminder of the ship between him and his brother, then scrunches his whole face together in confusion. “Wait, what? Why?” Why would Wincest fans like it? What was problematic about their end?

Jadyn shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t wanna spoil anything for you-”

“I don’t care about spoilers, just give me the short version.” Dean says quickly. A quiet panic is rising in him, and suddenly he has a horrible feeling that he’s not holding the truth in his hands anymore. 

“Uh, okay… Well, the most obvious thing is the bury-your-gays thing, then there’s the fact that it completely contradicted the rest of the lore. And it was ableist, misogynistic, and messed up, like, every character’s arc.” they take a breath, clearly worked up by it. “Even if they changed any of the details too, it was all built on Dean’s death, and that’s just bullshit. Sorry.” they apologize again, apparently mistaking Dean’s stricken expression to be in reaction to their rant and swearing. 

“No, nah, you’re… you’re okay. Uh, thanks.” he waves a hand and wanders away from them, only remembering Jack’s book when he’s almost to the register. He manages to make his way back and find the damn thing, but he’s still in a fog when he gets to the register. 

“Did anyone help you in the store today?”

“Huh?” he looks up and meets the middle-aged cashier’s gaze for the first time. Brent, from the nametag, looks at him impatiently. “Oh, yeah, uh… Jadyn. Jadyn helped me.” Brent scoffs and starts typing with a shake of the head. “Uh, is there a problem?” Dean asks, a little annoyed at this cashier’s unnecessary attitude. He usually doesn’t care if an employee’s rude, because they have to deal with assholes all the time and honestly Dean isn’t much better, but this one gives him a bad feeling. 

“No, no, sorry. It’s just - “Jadyn’s” got this idea that he’s a girl. Makes everybody call him that name now too. Just-” Brent shakes his head. “I mean, you get it. Their generation, everybody wants to be special.”

Dean glares. “No, I don’t get it, Brent.” He says through gritted teeth. “Seems to me like Jadyn probably deals with enough assholes like you that her asking for a little basic decency is the exact opposite of special. Sounds pretty normal, actually.” He can see the fear creep into Brent’s eyes, and he knows the cashier is reacting to the murderous look in his eyes more than his actual words. 

Brent hands Dean his bag of books with a quiet, “Here you go.”

Dean snatches it away. “Oh, Brent?” he checks over his shoulder to make sure they’re alone and then leans across the counter into Brent’s space. “You should find a new job, one where you don’t have to interact with other people. At least until you learn how to stop being a piece of shit.” He starts to ease away but thinks better about it. “And if you think that’s a suggestion, it’s not. My husband likes this book coming out next month that I’ll need to buy, and if I see you here when I come, well… it would be really embarrassing for you to tell all your little friends that you got your ass beat by a ‘special’ guy, huh?” He pats Brent on the cheek condescendingly and leaves with a huff. 

Damn transphobes. 

He only remembers the book once he’s back in Baby, and he takes the time to drive out of town before he pulls over to read it. It’s an old abandoned church, the cross long since fallen from the roof and the doors hanging off their hinges. He sits on the steps just because being in Baby seems claustrophobic for once in his life, and going back to the bunker to look at this is just… not happening.

Dean only skims the beginning to see that it starts the same. The ground erupting with bodies, hell spitting out its most-conveniently placed nasties, Rowena sacrificing herself, Cas leaving. His throat closes up at that, at Chuck’s description of Cas’s heartbroken expression as he climbs the stairs of the bunker. He clears his throat and skips to the end, right past Cas’s death that he doesn’t have the time to think about right now, past them defeating Chuck and then stops. He goes back a few pages, trying to find the disconnect. 

The story’s different.

After Jack takes on God’s power, in the book, he’s totally fine. Not almost vibrating out of his skin or anything, not crying like the three year old he is because he’s scared. Not like it really happened. He just smiles and leaves him and Sam, and they let him go. 

Dean scoffs, skimming over the story as it just gets more ridiculous. 

In the book, he doesn’t even try to save Cas. They barely even mention him. And they never mention Eileen, either. In fact, Dean notes disbelievingly, practically the only characters in the last few chapters are him and Sam. They’re hunting again.

“What, is Chuck trying to keep the series going?” he whispers to himself, anger flaring through him. They let Chuck live, and he decided to write obnoxious fanfiction about them? He’s gonna kill that shameless little fucker. For real, this time. He deserves it.

In the book, Sam and Dean torture some vampire mime, and they enjoy it. Dean cringes; this is really what Chuck thinks of them. Then they tussle with more vamps in a barn and- 

Dean’s brain stops working. He rereads the scene again and again. 

“There’s something in my… something in my back. It feels like it’s right through me.” 

Dean Winchester dies in a dirty barn, on a piece of freaking rebar. 

More than that, Dean realizes on his fourth read-through. This Dean? He tried to drag out his speech, Dean can tell by the way he pauses for fucking drama. He would never do that. He would never talk to Sam for fifteen hellish minutes when he could be trying. Trying to live, so he can actually get his life back on track, get his family back. No, he made that speech stalling. He made that speech so Sam wouldn’t try to save him. 

“You gotta admit, I had one helluva ride.” He was strangely calm.

Chuck made him kill himself.

Dean reads the rest of the book through blurry eyes, reading an ambiguous and nothing-ending, one where he’s somehow happy to be dead and driving around in heaven alone while Sam raises a kid into hunting and cries about Dean decades after he’s died. Eileen isn’t mentioned. Cas is mentioned once, and Bizzarro-Dean doesn’t even think about seeing him, apparently. The whole book ends with a hug between him and Sam, both dead. Both alone. 

Dean rips the ending up. He tears through the stupid paper covering and keeps ripping the pages up until they’re the size of confetti. His lower lip wobbles. He throws the whole thing against the side of the building, and it tumbles through the broken doorway and drops into a pile of dust and dirt. “That isn’t the fucking ending.” he grounds out, knocking his hand against the flimsy handrail. It gives a little under his fist and he kicks at it. “That isn’t the fucking ending!”

He’s having a panic attack. Again. He tries to take deep breaths, but they’re gulping, too big, they’re making him panic more. He scrambles back to Baby and grabs his phone, presses the first number on his favorites list and waits for him to answer on speaker phone.

“Hey Dean, what’s up?” Sam sounds like he’s been laughing. There are voices in the background, and Dean tries to convince himself one of them is Eileen. 

“Hey Sammy.” he chokes out, trying to sound normal. “You busy?”

There’s a pause, and then the sounds in the background. “Nah, Rowena’s just over.” he says casually. 

“So those voices in the background were-”

“Rowena and Eileen, yeah. They’re trying to convince me we need to go to Mexico. For the beaches.” A smile in his voice. Dean lets out a sigh of relief.  What’s up, Dean? You need something?” The smile drops, and Sam’s worried. 

Sam’s okay. Sam’s okay. “No, nah. Hey, you heard from Donna lately?” Dean just needs to triple-check.

“Uh, no, not since Sunday dinner… Dean, you okay?”

“Yeah, she just- she hasn’t been answering my texts. Just wanted to make sure.” Dean lies quickly. His breathing is still uneven, but his body is settling into uneven shakes. 

Sam sounds skeptical. “Yeah, well, she did tell us it’s been pretty busy at work lately. Y’know, everybody going out for the first time with COVID, getting stupid. Plus, y’know, nowhere’s drowning in EMTs right now.”

“Right. Yeah.” Dean takes a deep breath, a distant memory of Donna talking about that coming back to him.

“Pretty sure you were setting up a D&D session with Charlie while she was talking about that,” Sam laughs. Dean knows he means it as a subtle jab, but there’s too much relief flooding through him to care. Still, a string is pulled taut in him, and Sam can’t fix that completely.

“Gotta go, Sam,” Dean hangs up before Sam can say anything else, and goes to his next contact. It rings for far too long, and Dean’s heartbeat picks back up to thundering.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes out. “Cas, you know I love you, right?” He needs to test all the bounds of this, to make sure, just to make sure. Make sure Chuck isn’t still fucking with him. Because apparently, Chuck won’t let him be queer. Not in his story. Not out loud.

He can hear Cas’s eyebrow raise through the phone, and his chest is overcome with stupid fondness. “I would be a little worried if you didn’t.”

Dean grins widely. “Like, romantically. I’m in love with you. Because you’re the love of my life and I’m bisexual.” He says it all like it’s a checklist, like he expects some cosmic being to slap a hand over his mouth before he gets each next phrase out.

“Yes, Dean. We’ve been married almost two months.” Cas is smiling. It happens everytime he talks about their wedding. Dean adores it. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, now it is.” His whole body relaxes, still vibrating with leftover panic, but satisfied. “I got Jack’s book.”

“Oh, good. He’ll be so pleased.” Cas pauses. “Dean, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dean eases off the ground and sends a last look at the dilapidated church before climbing into Baby. “Just- read a bad book. I’ll tell you about it later. When I get home.”

[legionofpotatoes]

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

[supernova-cas]

S01 E01 PILOT

Okay so! starting a rewatch and I thought I’d do a little missing scene from each ep. So here we go starting out strong with some Dean on the road. You can read it here on tumblr or here on AO3!

The road stretches ahead of him, long and empty and Dean speeds up, hits the accelerator, trying to lose himself in the motion, synch up with the car and just glide. But it’s getting harder to focus now, when his destination isn’t some monster or creature from a nightmare. No, he’s not going anywhere so easy.

It’s stupid really, to feel like this and Dean knows it. He’s dealt with much worse than a trip to a college campus. This time last week he’d been over in New Orleans, moments away from being stabbed by an intangible knife. He ignores the slight pain that lingers in his side. As far as hunting injuries go, well it hardly qualifies. Point was Dean wasn’t a kid anymore. He was old enough to hunt on his own now and definitely old enough for this.

And yet, if he was a kid, if they were both kids, he wouldn’t have to be doing this. If they were just a few years younger, Sam would still be right there with him. Sitting next to him and spouting some stupid fact about old lore or just burying his head in one of those trash novels he pretended he never read. They would be together, and for all he knew, if Sam was here, if things were different, if they all stayed together this wouldn’t be an issue at all.

But it’s been years since any of Sam’s shit had cluttered up the backseat. The car’ all Dean’s now, his tapes in the front, his gear in the back, the car was big enough to contain everything he owned and more. All Dean’s possessions, packed into her tight. He wonders if Sam drives. Not that he’d need a car to contain his belongings anymore. No, Sammy’s got a new home now. Proper shelves to line his books up on instead of the corner of the trunk, clothes hanging in a closet instead of piled up on top of a false bottom opening. Yeah, Sam doesn’t need any of the space he and Dean had spent so long arguing over. They’d squabbled for years, each trying to get a little more storage space. And Dean won.

To the victor the spoils. An empty car with all the room in the world. He doesn’t have enough to fill it.

He’s been trying, definitely. Even just now in New Orleans he’d picked up a couple of pretty pieces, a silver knife and some more bullets. His collection is growing, he’s got rifles and handguns now, small knives and machetes, bags and bags of rock salt. Enough iron he’s pretty sure he’s causing some kind of disturbance in the Earth’s natural magnetism. He’s even collected some books of his own. In the trunk is a mixture of a couple of old lore books and some classic literature. Dean may not be going to some fancy college but he sure loves to read. It’s a ragtag little library, taken from old garage sales he passed or the occasional thrift store.

He’s not sure what John would think of them. It isn’t something he’s mentioned. Not because he’s keeping it a secret from him! He just hasn’t had reason to bring it up. It’s not a distraction though, he has that answer locked and loaded. He barely ever reads them, they’re just there in the car. For the long nights when the cards are all frozen and his hustling hasn’t been quite enough to afford to buy dinner and a motel room. When he’s lying back in the impala, waiting to be exhausted enough that sleep overtakes him, sure, he’ll turn a few pages.

Dean passes another mile marker and tries not to see it as another chance to turn back now.

He wonders where Sam sleeps now. If he’s got a little bedside table, he can put his books on before he falls asleep. If his room has thick curtains, if he never has to ignore neon lights flowing through thin curtains or broken blinds. He’s got a home now, the address Dean is driving to, he doesn’t have to sleep in a car.

He wonders if Sam has a car.

The end of the cassette brings him back and for a moment he considers pulling over right there to flip it around. There aren’t any other drivers out here at this time. But if he does pull over, he’s not sure how long it’ll be until he can bring himself to keep going again.

So, he drives in silence. It’s not too far. Which is a good thing. He wants to be there already. And maybe if he tells himself that one more time it’ll make it true.

He slows down as he gets off the highway. Into the residential area of the college town. Sammy’s home neighborhood. He hates how little he hates it.

The impala is silent as he parks her right in front of Sam’s home. She’s beautiful and brilliant and he’s not sure why suddenly she feels small.

A quick knock doesn’t garner any response and Dean is too curious not to take the chance, to test Sam’s defenses.

There aren’t any.

His door is locked and that’s it. He’s not sure what he expected. Sammy definitely doesn’t want to have to explain to all his college friends a line of salt in the doorway, he doesn’t want to carve a sigil in the doorpost. But this, it’s a simple lock Dean gets open in moments. A challenge even Sam would be able to master without trouble.

He moves through the apartment quietly, looking around. It’s bigger than he thought it would be. And there’s so much stuff. He wonders how much of it is Sam’s if he actually owns all this. He probably should have been more focused on his surroundings but with all this, well it was easy to get distracted. Sue him.

So, Sam’s attack takes him by surprise. Not enough of a surprise that Dean doesn’t react well, but enough to get him off balance for a moment. Sam still fights well. Or at least, well for Sam. Dean’s still got the clear advantage as he shoves him right into the other room. The light from the window (framed by thick curtains, he notices) illuminates his face for a moment and Sam falters. Dean gets him pinned down in moments.

“Whoa, easy tiger.” He manages, trying to catch his breath.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice is shock, but not instantly hostile and Dean can’t help the laugh that escapes.

“You scared the crap out of me!” Sam’s voice is his tried and true bitching about being beaten tone, and Dean falls into his own role easily.

“That’s ‘cause you’re out of practice.”

He’s goading Sam and it works, always does. It actually surprises him how fast Sam is, how quickly their roles are reversed.

“Or not,” he admits. Sam hits him twice and Dean rolls his eyes. “Get off of me.”

Sam gets off of him and extends his hand to help Dean. Sam pulls him up and then stands back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam’s voice is upset now and it’s suddenly too real. Sam’s no longer the brother Dean reaches to poke and annoy in the car, he’s no longer an abstract figure too far away to reach. Sam is here, right here in front of Dean and he is angry.

“Well, I was looking for a beer.” He tries with a grin, grabbing hold of Sam for a moment.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam repeats and Dean needs to tell him.

“Okay.” He answers. No jokes this time. “We need to talk.”

“Uh, the phone?” Sam asks, eyebrow raised.

“If I’d’a called, would you have picked up?” His tone is light but it’s a serious question and they both know it. Dean thinks for a moment that Sam won’t answer and for another, worse moment that he will.

But he doesn’t get the chance. The lights flick on and Dean spins to see the blonde woman at the switch. She’s pretty, too pretty to be in Sam’s apartment anyway, and more then anything else she’s an interjection into the situation. A distraction and Dean pounces.

“Jess.” Sam speaks up next to him. “Hey. Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.”

“Wait, your brother, Dean?” she asks and where ever that’s going Dean wants to cut it off before it has a chance to begin the trip.

“Oh, I love the smurfs.” He gestures to her crop top and he can practically feel the disdain and anger rolling off the two others in the room. That’s fine. He expected that. “You know, I gotta tell you. You are way out of my brother’s league.”

Jessica looks at him like he’s just confirmed Sam’s reasoning for leaving in a single moment.

“Just let me put something on.”

No. He isn’t staying, they aren’t staying. This isn’t some long conversation to be had. And Sammy definitely didn’t want his girlfriend in on it.

“No, no, no, I wouldn’t dream of it.” He says with an easy grin. “Seriously. Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. But, uh, nice meeting you.”

“No.” Sam speaks up and Dean watches as he walks away from him, as he goes to put his arm around Jessica.

“No whatever you want to say you can say it in front of her.”

Dean looks at him for a moment. He hadn’t anticipated this. But he can’t very well walk away now.

“Okay. Um.” He looks at them straight on, trying to order his thoughts. “Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.”

“So, he’s working overtime on a Miller Time shift.” Sam says, and his words are heavy and disgusted. His hold on Jessica seems to tighten. “He’ll stumble back in sooner or later.”

Dean ducks his head. Trying to let that one go. It’s not that he’s wrong exactly, it’d happened before. But it wasn’t something they’d say. Not like this. And besides this time isn’t like that at all. This time is different. This time, John is in trouble. And Dean’s not going to let him down. He’s going to get his baby brother and he’s going to get the family together and safe. He looks back up at Sam, his gaze hard as he says,

“Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days.”

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Ya know what these self-indulgent Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow posts need? Self-indulgent banner art, that’s what.

Spoilers for issue #4!

Let’s start this off right with CREATOR CREDITS. Issue 4 of Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow is titled “Restraint, Endurance, and Passion.” Written by Tom King, Art by Bilquis Evely, Colors by Matheus Lopes, Letters by Clayton Cowles, and Edited by Brittany Holzherr. (w/ Assist. Editor: Bixie Mathieu & Senior Editor Mike Cotton)

THE STORY: 

Right, so this? This issue? Best one yet.

Also the bleakest of the bunch thus far; even though we don’t always see the brutality of the space pirates that Kara and Ruthye are following, there’s...the suggestion of it. The aftermath. And how Kara responds to it.

Okay, getting a little ahead of myself. BASIC PLOT SUMMARY: Ruthye and Kara continue their pursuit of Krem, who has taken up with Barbond’s Brigands.

The Brigands basically just. Murder and terrorize people, for profit.

Each planet they visit brings new horrors, as well as people who need Supergirl’s help.

And help she does.

KARA-CTERIZATION:

I yell a lot about the art on this book, and have, in fact, openly admitted that I’m primarily here for Evely and Lopes.

Well, that wily son-of-a-gun King went and wrote some of the best ‘Super’ stuff I’ve ever read and dang it, dang it, now I gotta yell about the words too. XD

Specifically, I wanna yell (in a good way!) about some words that occur towards the very end of the book.

Kara and Ruthye have Seen Some Things; things like genocide and mass grave sites and horrible violence, and upon reaching a planet where peaceful monks were slaughtered, Kara’s had enough, and needs to leave because if she screams, she’ll destroy what little is left of the monks’ monastery.

Here’s the text in full, because my gosh. It’s so good:

“What I write next I write based on my observations in those long-ago days at the side of the greatest warrior in the history of this august reality we all call home. It is important to note that my assertions do not rely on anything Supergirl said. It was not a subject we ever discussed or even approached, but nonetheless I believe it to be as true as the turning of worlds. You see, what is not well understood about the daughter of Krypton is that her power was not one of action but one of restraint, endurance, and passion. She did not choose to fire a beam from her eyes, or have breath of ice, or run faster than a speeding bullet. Or any of her other well-documented miracles. No, she held back her heat vision to look you in the face. She warmed her breath to converse with you. She slowed herself to walk by your side. Ever moment of every day, she suppressed the forces churning inside of her. All of the energy of a dead world that strained against her many barriers, eternally demanded to be released. I believe this effort hurt her. I believe she lived her life in pain. But I reiterate again, for I think it important enough to repeat--These beliefs are based on my time at her side, watching her as she moved through strife and sorrow. If you were to have asked her, I have little doubt she would have claimed that such as assertion was absurd. She would say she felt fine and well and then she’d as you if you needed any help.”

A long chunk of words, I know (this comic is DENSE!) but like. This is it. This is one of the defining attributes of the Supers--all that raw power at their disposal and they choose to help people, to be kind, to suppress that power for the benefit and safety of others.

HNNNNNNNG.

Hope, Help, and Compassion for All.

Whole lotta folks claimed at the outset of this book that King did not understand Kara, that he was a bad fit. And that may be so, I suppose--there’s a whole other discussion about like. The violence and swearing and ‘does that belong in a Supergirl book?’ But the characterization? Getting that Kara and Clark are just good people? 

King gets it. He got it in Superman: Up in the Sky and he gets it here, in Woman of Tomorrow.

Other things King gets! Kara is stubborn! Kara is passionate! Kara is going to fix things, even if the effort of doing so hurts her, physically, emotionally, and mentally!

(Fuuuuuuun fact for the crowd saying that Woman of Tomorrow is vastly superior to the CW show: TV Kara is ALSO all of those things! King isn’t pulling this stuff out of thin air. It’s almost like...gosh. I don’t know! Both the show and Tom King are pulling from the character’s comic history, or something!!!! HOW NOVEL.) 

Like, seriously. There’s a lot of overlap. Stop pitting Karas against each other!

Anyways!

I promised art, so here is art!

Oh, right, forgot to mention, Kara literally THROWS HERSELF INTO THE SUN to express her grief and anger, so as to not cause that unnecessary destruction. She gives new meaning to the phrase: Set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. 

More art yelling: GOTTDAMN, the way Evely draws Kara just colliding with the surface of the sun and then the way Kara’s hair like...becomes the flames...

I am FEELING FEELINGS. HOW DARE.

Also, props to King and Cowles; King for deciding to have that initial scream, Cowles for the way the letters burst forth from the point of impact on the sun, and then back to King who decided that it would just be...devastating silent screaming from Kara, for the remainder of the scene. 

Back to the characterization, I just wanted to highlight something I mentioned...earlier on, I think? In these posts? But haven’t brought up recently, and that is how this book has not once brought up Zor-El, and I think Superman only got a quick mention in issue 2.

Honestly, I think that’s gotta be some kind of record.

It’s so refreshing. Not because I think there should never be mentions of Clark, or anything--I love that boy--but because so much of modern Supergirl comic drama is mined from the same like, angsting over her place compared to Clark, or her crazy sometimes-a-supervillain dad. 

There is no Clark and Kara drama here, no manufactured friction, because it’s just. A cool Supergirl story! 

Gonna keep going, but let’s do it with some more...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Once again, Mat Lopes is all over the dang place with his palettes, it’s marvelous.

Each new planet gives Evely the opportunity to go hog wild on the worldbuilding and design, and similarly! Each new locale is an opportunity for Lopes to set the tone with colors. Like, here, towards the beginning of the book, we’ve got a planet bathed in this warm, pale yellow/orange light. 

(Quick note: “Sure, yeah, I get it. We all have our duties. And it’s mine as a neighbor to do what I can to help you with yours. Please.” A+ Kara content. We love to see it. And then locating the remains of the alien’s daughter, so that they can go visit the grave site and have some emotional closure???? It’s just. So. Touching.)

Anyways, back to colors.

Like!!!! LOOK AT THAT JUMP. From the soft, almost pastoral feel of the delicate oranges and yellows to HARD GREEN, PINK, AND PURPLE. (Difficult colors to pull off in print, I might add.) 

(This is also an interesting scene, character-wise, because I think it helps re-contextualize some earlier stuff with Kara. Like, I’m mostly thinking that incident on the bus, where she was swearing at the passengers as the space dragon was about to destroy them. Here, we see Kara kind of...goad this alien woman into releasing her pent up emotions by yelling at her/getting her to fight, and you can clearly see at the end of it that Kara did not mean the things she said, because check this out:

She goes and gives her a hug once the woman is able to finally cry.

It’s not ‘Kara is being mean, Kara is swearing at her’, it’s, ‘Kara has an unorthodox solution to a problem, and she’s gonna FIX that problem, NO MATTER WHAT.’

Circling back to the bus thing--again, that could be an instance of ‘unorthodox approach to a weird situation that Kara is going to handle because lives are at stake.’)

But also, DIG THAT KIRBY KRACKLE, BAY-BEEEEE!

And a little Strange Adventures easter egg! The Pykkts! 

(I think those guys are unique to the Black Label series, rather than deep Adam Strange lore, but don’t quote me on that.)

Moving on to YET ANOTHER PALETTE, one I’ve dubbed, ‘Treasure Planet Purple/Grey’

Love Ruthye’s snoozing against the door, waiting for Kara.

Also, just as striking as the colors of the environment, are the colors used on Kara. 

If you compare this page with the previous one, Kara’s eyes are a paler shade of blue, and the red-rimmed look on her eyes here is not as intense as the red-rimmed look we saw back in issue one, when she was confronting Krem. 

All of which to say! There’s a pale, haunted quality to both the linework and the colors. Like. We know Kara has Seen Some Things. But she’s shoving all that stuff down to protect Ruthye, to save Krypto, and to stop these monsters, and you get all of that WITH COLORS AND LINES ON A PAGE.

I love it, I love it so much.

OTHER BOOKS WISH THEY HAD THIS LEVEL OF CHARACTER ACTING, I TELL YA! THEY WISH THEY HAD THIS BEAUTIFUL ALCHEMY OF INKER, COLORIST, AND WRITER WORKING IN SUCH TIGHT TANDEM!

Ahem. XD

Alright, last bit of art, lest I just. Post the whole issue in here. (Which I’m honestly always tempted to do but Strong Feelings about Piracy hold me back.)

JUST HECKIN’ LOOK AT THAT BLUE, MAN. JUST LOOK AT IT. S’BEAUTIFUL.

And more stunning character acting from Evely. Like. Bottom middle panel. The expression, the tilt of her head and the shadows on her eyes...

*insert silent flailing here*

Oh, also, KRYPTO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVESSSS (for now). 

I’m never right about these things, so I’m glad the one time I’ve correctly read a thing is when it involves Krypto not, ya know. Being dead. XD

Also absolutely love that Kara’s instinct is to send Ruthye home to protect her--once more leaning into that whole, ‘I’m going to protect you, even at great cost to myself’, though of course we know that she can’t send her home, not here, not now, just halfway through our journey. 

ERRRRRRGH, so mad we’re not getting twelve issues of this! CURSE YOU, POOR SUPERGIRL TRADE SALES! CURSE YOOOOOOU!

That said, King’s pacing? Has been phenomenal. I feel like Strange Adventures and even Mr. Miracle kinda...I’m not gonna say dragged, that’s not quite right. But it is more build up, I guess. Takes a while to get to the payoff.

Here, I think King is pushing things steadily along as he doesn’t have the benefit of an additional four issues, so he has to get to the point, so to speak. Keeps everything moving.

SOME FINAL, MISC. STUFF:

I’ve sort of glossed over the darker stuff from this issue, and I just wanna note that like. This is a book that features a bad guy getting stoned (in the death sentence way, not the drug way) on panel. Like. I can’t recommend this to children.

I can’t even really recommend it to some other Supergirl fans, because I know that the King elements will be too off-putting. 

It never feels like the book is going too far, though. At least in like an...exploitative way? If that makes sense?

The violence is handled with discretion, I guess is what I’m trying to convey. This could very easily tip over into like, gross shock factor territory, if not handled well, but I think the creative team pulls it off.

...Still wouldn’t hand this book to kids, though. XD

As mentioned, we’re halfway through this series! Can’t wait to see where it goes--every time I think I have this book figured out, it surprises me. So, like. Bring on the Dinosaur planet! With no sunlight! I wanna see how Lopes handles THAT. XD

(But Oh, OooooOOooh, we gotta wait until NOVEMBER.)

(Hhhnnnnng!)

(Then again, maybe that’s good; we’ve got the TV show in the meantime, and then once it ends we can pick right up with new Supergirl content just a few weeks later.)

(...Aw. Made myself a little sad, thinking about the TV show coming to an end.)

:C

So as not to end on that sad note, here once again is tiny, smushed Kara:

Give ‘em the ol razzle dazzle.

[zevzevarainai]

Hey! You ever end up doing essay on the kazumaji gifs? (I'm highly interested because it's always majima o' clock where I live)

it’s always majima o’clock here too; maybe we live in the same area... but lmao i didnt write the essay on my kazumaji gifs because i didnt think anyone would want to hear it so i meant it more as a per request kind of deal. and you’re requesting. I want you to know you did this to yourself, my friend

below the read more for everyone’s well being. welcome to my first official majima analysis essay

ok so in those tags i said something like majima is softest with kiryu because it is absolutely the truth (unless you count makoto, which i love them too, but majima has moved on or at least is making an effort to. and that was pre-tacky snake skin jacket and pre-mad dog persona.) 

the prompt for the gifset was “maybe something about majima being stupid and unhinged but like, in a sweet way” and the whole point of this rambling is that kiryu is really the only one we see who causes the mad-dog persona to slip. kiryu says he can never get a read on majima but just because he is unpredictable doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand that he isn’t just batshit crazy. he trusts majima, and finds comfort in his lack of predictability, keeping kiryu’s life exciting and providing distraction from the insane amount of tragic shit that happens to kiryu. and majima has a similar experience of idolizing the yakuza lifestyle as teens/young adults only to have the yakuza drag them through hell. But this is supposed to be about Majima.

ANYWAY what GETS ME is again that mad-dog vibe slipping around kiryu. the only time we really only see it again is with Saejima when he comes back from jail. i’m gonna talk about that later too. LET’s GET TO THE GIFS i’m going in chronological order not the order i put them in

1)

Ok so as an audience, we don’t really know what happened between Kiryu and Majima between Yakuza Zero and Yakuza/Yakuza Kiwami. Yes, we get that tiny ending scene of Majima going KIRYU-CHAN for the first time and Kiryu smiling at him. But we are given nothing as to how they met or why Majima started calling him Kiryu-chan. It is left completely to the audience’s interpretation. Because then it goes straight to the first scene with Majima in Yakuza/Yakuza Kiwami after Kiryu gets out of jail. It implies that they already knew each other, and arguably that they were somewhat close -- close enough for Majima to “miss him.” (What was majima doing for those 10 years, i don’t know, but he clearly wasn’t in a great place, missing both kiryu, makoto, and saejima, we ignore y5 lore in this household or make up shit to fill in the giant gaps) You could argue that Majima missing Kiryu is just Majima being “crazy haha woah” but his character is so much deeper than that, and it’s proven in this gif’s scene. Yes he is fighting Kiryu with all his men. But if you are reading this you understand that them fighting physically all the time is a secret love language. They never intend to severely hurt each other. Fighting is how they know that they have an equal, someone else who was modeled into a weapon because of the Tojo Clan.

And yes, “He belongs to me!” is an extremely gay thing to say. He doesn’t even need to say that, though. One of his men didn’t understand that he doesn’t actually want to hurt Kiryu. The guy picked up Majima’s knife and tried to actually hurt Kiryu. Majima willingly gets stabbed so Kiryu doesn’t get hurt. That’s a handful of gay subtext right there. Majima’s first scene in y1 is about how the world is a horrible, shitty place that will chew you up and spit you out if you care. Then he goes and gets stabbed. Self-sacrificially. He cares about Kiryu, even if it hurts. 

2)

This one isn’t as deep. It stems of the same concept of them fighting each other as equals. Majima explicitly says more than once that strength is the most admirable trait, Goromi says that it only matters that a man is strong. Kiryu is the only person who presents a challenge to him. He admires him. 

3)

(As a disclaimer, I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with Goromi. I’ve also seen a lot of non-binary, gender-fluid, etc. people project on Goromi and Majima, and I feel like that can only be a good thing. Obviously they deserve more and more quality representation. I think the people who dislike Goromi are valid as well, but for the sake of this argument we are going to see Goromi as the people who project on her do and I’m going to use she/her pronouns when talking about Goromi.)

Regardless on your stance on this whole little side quest, the player has the choice to go along with Goromi which creates actually a lot of subtle connecting between the two of them. Even in just talking to her, we see the mad-dog mask slip. She talks about how much she cared about the girls at Club Shine and wonders how they’re doing. Literally says “all part of my tragic-ass backstory.” And Kiryu sympathizes with it. Says he sees through the “i hated it” bullshit and sees Majima/Goromi’s true self, which is that the cabaret job was hard for Majima because he cared about the women and didn’t like using them as a source of income and knew it would be his fault if they got hurt. 

Also, Goromi says that "When I’m with a guy, it’s all about if I’m having enough fun. That’s why he’s gotta be strong.” Sound like someone we know? Someone who we are talking about in the last gif with i-just-got-the-shit-beat-out-of-me-and-it-was-awesome bliss on his face?

Anyway, the scene in the gif is near the end of the session. Kiryu is talking about how he’s been in prison for 10 years, and Goromi says that now that he’s out he should try to relax and and a little fun. Arguably, “since you’re so lonely right now, I’m gonna give ya a hand!” is most of Majima’s role in YK1. Kiryu gets out of prison. Majima wants to fight him all the time and says it’s because he’s gone soft and needs to train. Majima Everywhere presents excitement in his life when everything else is hard and shitty and traumatizing. Yes, Majima kidnapped Haruka. But there isn’t a lot of info on that. Majima says he did it so they could fight but it very likely could have been an order from the Tojo Clan or even Nishiki. Until he develops a bond with Haruka, Majima is, in a way, all he has. Nishiki is mean now. Yumi is ???. Kazama is i don’t even remember but he certainly isn’t any emotional support. He’s lonely. Majima is the only person he has from before prison, and quite possibly the only person who understands what he is going through. 

4)

YK2, Kiryu has yeeted out of Majima’s life as Kiryu does, but he’s trying to protect haruka so I’ll let it slide. And what does Majima do now that Kiryu’s not there? Leaves the Tojo Clan. Yes it’s because he doesn’t like the 5th chairman’s style and to make up for Kawamura, but the point is he’s bored. The use of “MY Kiryu-chan” is obviously written there because “haha majima he’s crazyyy” but come on. Majima left the Tojo Clan after Kiryu stepped down as the 4th chairman. Because he was bored. Because he couldn’t trust his own men. The only person he considered an equal just wasn’t there anymore and he found it difficult to adjust. (That’s YEARNING, fellas)

So yes, HIS Kiryu-chan came home, but what is home in this context? It clearly isn’t the tojo clan, so I guess it could be Kamurocho in general. But if the clan doesn’t make it home, what does make it home? Perhaps a certain triangle shaped man??

5)

Oh boy silly Majima wants to fight Kiryu again hahaha weeeeeeeee NO listen, LISTEN, he does want to fight kiryu again, because 1) the man has been bored for a year 2) FIGHTING IS THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE 3) Majima is once again surprising Kiryu in a world where nothing surprises him anymore, where kiryu expects people to be vile and only want him for gain. Every single goddamn game it’s “Kiryu plz save the Tojo Clan plz” and Kiryu NEVER gets anything in return unless you count, i don’t know, Daigo and Haruka’s safety? But Majima doesn’t give a shit about any of that. Majima is one of the only people who consistently does things for Kiryu (even if they’re presented in an abnormal way). Majima is really the only one who makes sacrifices for Kiryu. But this fight, it kicks off YK2 of “hey, i missed you but i won’t admit it because we’re manly yakuza, please let me try to make you smile.”

6)

THE kazumaji scene. Going off of Majima being the only one to make sacrifices for Kiryu, here’s a perfect example. Majima first aids the Tojo Clan which he swore to leave literally only because Kiryu asked him to. Then, here, he get beaten within an inch of his life because he promised Kiryu he would protect Kamurocho from Ryuji. Majima does not give a shit about the Tojo Clan at this point. Yes, Majima LOVEEESSSS beating people up, but he’s fatally wounded. This is not a Majima who would die for the Tojo Clan. This is a Majima willing to die for Kiryu. After warning Kiryu about being to trusting, too.

And of course, we get the Majima collapsing on the pavement and Kiryu rushing in to CRADLE him in his arms like a damn fanfic. You’ve even got the “I did it for you” which everyone knows is basically an “I love you.” Look at Majima’s face in the gif. Bless the Kiwami 2 graphics, first of all. He’s looking at Kiryu like he wants him to be the last thing he sees, like he wants him to know that he’s going out for Kiryu, that despite the fact that he’s about to cough up blood he needs Kiryu to have the information he needs to save the clan and Kamurocho. He’s telling Kiryu all this with labored breath because he promised. Kiryu “One-Expression” Kazuma is viably worried as hell, the little nod in the gif kills me because Kiryu needs him to know he’s touched and he’s so grateful. The only reason Kiryu left him was because there was danger elsewhere and he trusts Kaoru enough to take care of him. (Side note: I love Kaoru Sayama, but I still feel like she’s good enough a character on her own and doesn’t need to be a romantic interest for Kiryu. Like it was like oh... she’s Girl so she needs to fall for the Big Strong Male Protag.... If Majima was a cis girl they would have made out in this game, maybe even y1.) 

7) Speaking of sacrifices, Yakuza 3, the game where Majima literally joined the Tojo Clan again because Kiryu wanted him to protect Daigo. That’s a huge lifestyle change, Majima.

Yes, this scene is funny because Majima is riding in a Barbie-ass truck like a 15 year old driving on a learner’s permit in a downpour (yet proves he can drive stick seconds later) and thinks he hit Kiryu while he purposely hit everyone else. Look, Majima needs this ok y3 he looks like he’s been crying since kiryu left no one No One is going to hurt Kiryu now

That truck is likely stolen, he’s driving erratically as fast as he can because Kiryu is in danger, how did he even know that Kiryu was in danger is it like some kind of 6th sense... If you didn’t already know, I would take a bullet for Majima’s voice actor; his delivery of “Kiryu-chan! Where are you?!” could have just been like haha oops kiryu did i hit you ;3 but instead it’s this raw cry of genuine panic, like did his actions get kiryu hurt, Majima could not live with himself if he was the reason Kiryu got fatally hurt

8) Ok I’ve hinted at the fact that I have beef with the Hot Mess that is yakuza 5, wasn’t huge on Y4 and Y6 was fine but it was heavily based on the events of Y5. In my head I’ve got an entire fix-it fanfic in which Majima yeets out to Okinawa with Kiryu after Y3 I could write that upon request too ANYWAY here’s another sacrificial majima...

Despite not caring for Y5, THIS SCENE is RAW. Maybe he’s not super “unhinged” in this scene but it’s just so much. Majima, who Kiryu brokedown in his taxi bc he thought he got killed (because Kiryu made him stay in the tojo clan haha we’re out here crying), chooses Kiryu over Saejima. Saejima, Majima’s oath brother, Saejima. We love Saejima, Majima loves Saejima, but 25 years is a long ass time. Majima changed. Saejima changed. For awhile he had Makoto, but then Kiryu was all Majima had for a good chunk of Saejima’s time in prison. This is the man Majima got his eye stabbed out for defending. But the BaD GuYs that arent memorable enough for me to even look up the names of are like look, we want to watch the world burn because we are Bad Guys, so either you are going to fight your brother to the death or we are going to snipe Kiryu’s daughter in the fucking head. Obviously he doesn’t know that Baba is going to betray them, so he has to pick between Saejima and Haruka. He chooses to potentially kill Saejima for Kiryu’s happiness. I’m sure if things didn’t change, Majima would have held back and let Saejima kill him. Majima would rather die than see Kiryu in pain. Majima would rather kill Saejima/let Saejima kill him than let Haruka die. If that’s not a giant declaration of unconditional love and devotion, I don’t know what else to tell you.

Anyway, thanks so much for indulging me and listening to my yakuza opinions if you made it this far you the mvp :’’’’)

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”. 

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero

I guess I should provide my hottt takes on the new DBS movie.  A few days ago, they did this video for Comic Con announcing the title of the movie and teasing some details about the story.  

I gotta say, this is exactly why I’ve never had any interest in Comic Con.    They put this on YouTube, I guess because of the pandemic, but any other year they would have gathered an enormous crowd and made them stand in line for hours to watch all of this in person.   I live in the Midwest, and when I went to comic book conventions it was for the sole purpose of rummaging through back issue bins.   SDCC was always promoted like the biggest and most important convention in the U.S., but all I ever heard about it were trailers for movies and TV shows.   Or, like, you had to go to Comic Con because that was the only way to get an exclusive Orange Lantern Hal Jordan action figure or something.   They would always hype up all of this useless stuff and I just never heard of anything so important that I was willing to fly out to San Diego and stand in line for three hours for it.   So now SDCC peels back the curtain with this video, about something I’m fairly interested in, but it’s really not that big a deal.  I found out most of the information on Twitter before I even knew to watch this video.

But I’m just not that hyped about trailers or sneak peaks or sneak peaks at trailers.   Which is probably why I waited this long to talk about it.  

I’ll just go through the video.   The first four minutes are Hironobu Kageyama performing “Cha La HEAD Cha La” live on the stage.   That’s a pretty epic way to open this, but I feel like it oversells the importance of this event.  You finish watching him and you think you’re about to see the movie itself, instead of hearing from the people who made it.  

Next we have Sascha, the host of this panel.   He speaks better English than I do, but I’m not sure what the point was in having any of this in English since he has to talk to the guests in Japanese.   Pretty much all of the important information in this video is in Japanese, and I think everyone understood that going in.   I guess it does give an international feel.  If I spoke another language as fluently as Sascha, I’d want to show it off too.

4:56 is where Masako Nozawa comes out, and she’s just a joy to watch.   She looks like this sweet grandmotherly figure, all warm smiles and then she busts out “Ossu! Ora Goku!” and immediately sounds like a badass. 

Guest #2 is Akio Iyoku, Toriyama’s editor.   Not to be confused with the awesome editor who poo-pooed all the androids and Cell’s semiperfect form.    That was Yu Kondo.  Iyoku comes out dressed like Goku, but he can’t talk like him so he’s immediately second-tier. 

Guest #3 is Norohiro Hayashida, Producer from Toei Anaimation.   He is also rocking the Goku cosplay, which would be a faux pas in most fandoms, but he can just say that he’s cosplaying as Krillin or Yamcha, which gives him greater nerd credibility because those are more obscure references.

Around 8:30 we really start getting into this, and they show us a model sheet of Piccolo.  Is Piccolo being in the new movie a big surprise?   He had a dry spell in the mid-90s, but he’s been in every Dragon Ball movie made in this century so far.   And it’s not like they changed his look, like when they put Goku and Vegeta in those adorable coats last time.   I’m not complaining about any of this.  It’s nice to see that a) Piccolo is confirmed for new movie and b) they didn��t tinker with his appearance.  

All I’m saying is that they only brought up this model sheet to show off how they’re using his color scheme from the manga as opposed to the anime.   Hence the red belt and the yellower arm sections.   In the anime, the belt was always blue, and his biceps were hot pink instead of off-yellow.   But it’s such a subtle thing that even Sascha didn’t pick up on it.   It’s like they were hyping up the fact that it’s such a minor change.    I like it, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a weird flex.   Also, he looks like he still has his five-fingered anime hands, so I’m not that impressed.   Give us four fingers, Toei!

Sascha asks Masako Nozawa what she thinks about Piccolo and she just starts off with “He was Gohan’s teacher,” and talks about how strong and cool he looks.    She speaks of him like he’s a family member, because she’s awesome.

Next up, we have Pan, and now we’re talking.  The scuttlebutt is that this was the character Toriyama was referring to when he spoke of an “unexpected character”.  And I guess Pan fits the bill, since I don’t think anyone expected her to be this old in the movie.   I understand this is her kindergarten uniform, so she’d have to be about five or six years old.  I love Masako Nozawa’s reaction here.   Throughout this video, you can see that Goku and Gohan aren’t just roles to her.   

I’ll put on my fanboy hat here and point out that Pan’s age may imply that this movie takes place after the final episode of Dragon Ball Z.    She looks older here than she did when she fought Wild Tiger, at any rate.   So far, the entire Dragon Ball Super franchise has been set during the ten-year gap between the Buu crisis and the finale of Z.    So everyone has been wondering if DBS would move beyond End of Z, or whether Akira Toriyama even still recognizes the continuity of those final chapters.   They were supposed to be ten years of peace, but all the battles in DBS say otherwise.   Also, I’m pretty sure Pan and Bulla’s ages in the DBZ finale don’t line up well with their appearances in Super, but I’ve never studied it very closely.  

So this might be set post End of Z, or this might be Toriyama retconning End of Z altogether.  I’m interested to see which way this goes. 

Here’s Krillin, still working for the police, although his uniform looks more like Bronze Age Lex Luthor than anything else. Like Piccolo, the “big” story here is that he’s been tweaked to resemble the coloring in the manga, so his sclera are now white instead of fleshtoned.  

Never mind that, here’s Piccolo’s house.  This is probably the breakout star of this video, because I think everybody is excited to see Piccolo’s house.   Because it’s new lore!  No one even knew if he had one or not.   It was a running gag in DBZ Abridged that he was homeless.   I mean, congratulations to Krillin for getting his eyes colored in right, but that doesn’t tell me anything new about the character.  But Piccolo’s house is a big friggin’ deal.   What’s inside of there?  What’s on the second floor?   Check out his mailbox.   What kind of mail does he get?  It’s exciting.  

Nozawa even points out that she and her co-workers would talk about this sort of thing in the recording studio.    That’s a big deal to me, that the voice actors think about the same kind of stuff that I do as a fan.   

Around 15:30, they start talking about Toriyama’s commitment to the making of this movie, which seems like a weird thing to focus on, because he wrote the screenplay to the last two movies.   Did anyone think he was stepping back? I get the impression that there’s still some hard feelings about the failure of Dragon Ball Evolution, in the sense that they want to reassure everyone that we’re still in good hands.   I suppose one of these days, Toriyama won’t be as heavily involved in a project like this, so maybe it makes sense for Toei and Shueisha to make it clear that today is not that day.

On the other hand, Toriyama was just as involved with Broly as he was with Resurrection F, and Broly was a much better film.  The Dragon Ball Super manga seems to have revived the old argument over who’s to blame when the story is a letdown, and I think that misses the point.  Look, the Zamasu arc sucked, and I don’t care who wrote what parts, or whether Toriyama had a bad idea or whether he handed a good idea off that was badly executed.   They can hash that out behind the scenes if they want to.  

About 19 minutes in, they show us this model sheet, and refuse to explain who these guys are or what they’re doing in the movie.   Are they villains?  Who knows?  I’d like to think they’re important characters to the story, but I have my doubts that Krillin will have a big part to play.  

At 20 minutes, they announce the title of the movie, and I’m not very thrilled with “Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero.” They can talk it up as much as they want, and maybe the title is relevant to the plot, but it’s just too many uses of the word “super”.   Especially when they’ve got another series called “Super Dragon Ball Heroes” on YouTube. 

Then we get this teaser trailer, or whatever you want to call it, with a CG Goku hopping around and doing his classic fighting pose.  Now, for some reason, lots of people concluded that this means the entire movie will be done in this CG style, which has led to a debate over whether or not that’s a good thing.  If they can make the whole movie look this slick, then I’m fine with it.  Hell, I’m not picky.   They could animate the whole thing in Yukio Ebisawa style, and I’d be thrilled. 

But I’m not understanding where people got the idea that it’s definitely going to be a 100% CGI movie.   They never spell that out in this video, and they even go out of their way to admit that this shot of Goku isn’t actually from the movie.   So is there some other source people are referring to, or did everyone just jump to conclusions?  

And that’s pretty much it.   I don’t mean to sound negative on this panel, but I don’t feel like they revealed very much, unless this is actually going to turn out to be Piccolo and Pan having an adventure by themselves.    I think Toei could make a movie like that and it would be a success, but I have my doubts that they’d go in that direction.  If this is going to turn out to be another big slugfest with Vegeta, then I’m down for that too, but don’t show me Piccolo’s house if the movie’s going to be about Vegeta punching a guy. 

Bottom line: I’m still looking forward to this, but I don’t feel like I know much more about the movie than I did before.   Well, except for the part about Piccolo’s house.  I’m looking forward to seeing the inside of it.

[mushroom-trafficking]

slips a piece of paper under your door. Setac 8 and 14. Harmony 23 and 7 !!! canary 24 !!!

(slips on the paper like a banana peel and dies)

Setac:

8 - What do you think had the biggest impact on you growing up?

Well. Obvious answer is Ysil ruining my life as that is big impact no? Uhh, otherwise probably my sister harmony arguing with entire family to stick up for me. Was hard to grasp at time because I felt so bad for her and blaming self for what happened but she chose to help me. It took me long time to realise people chose to be there for you because they want to be. Shame it took me so long to realise it but it made things much better after everything else.

14 - What are your favourite music genres?

HMM. Hmmmmmm. Hmmmm. I don’t tend to listen to much music.. But I enjoy a lot of wind instruments? They are so delicate but soothing. Pan pipes and ocarina are very nice, can be peaceful to play when just travelling as nature makes best accompaniment.

But also who doesn’t enjoy accordion music, there is something just so bouncy! You cannot help but want to dance. I will always throw some good coin your way if I spy accordion in corner of tavern.

Harmony:

23 - Have you ever had a crush on someone? Do you have a crush now?

Nah no real crushes nowadays, though sometimes that real rugged adventurer type comes into the store and you’re like damn I wish they would whisk me away and we could fight monsters together. But that’s less of a crush and more just. Aggressive daydreaming. In the past— I mean yaknow, yeah.

(Towards the end of this you would notice how she wouldn’t be able to meet your eye and you get the feeling “the past” isn’t as far back as she would like to admit)

7 - Who do you look up to?

If you want the lame answer for sure my brother is up there. He’s achieved a lot and I’m proud of him and yaknow who doesn’t wanna go around knocking in some heads.

Another wise uhh. Oh— Theres this cool researcher who I have a few books of! Her name is Alexandra Ainsworth Lore! She goes around on his huge ship of hers findin all these cool unknown artefacts that people think are legends and— well. FINDS EM. I wish I could do stuff like that, just chartin a course an sailin around lookin for all these wonders. And of course probably getting first dibs tryin em out. I know she puts most of em in museums which is. A little lame but yaknow I think if she hoarded em all she’d probably get some people after her. But what a cool life that must be…

Canary:

24 - What do you consider your main love language?

Oooooooo boy. Wassit called? Acts of service? I like doing stuff for people. I like when people come home or visit and you’ve just got em a little something waiting like— a smoothie or a new video game. Or just helpin em with whatever, I like goin grocery shopping with people which some folks find weird but it’s nice! Good way to make sure your friends are eatin their veggies tho. Ha! But yaknow spending time together is great too, we don’t gotta do stuff all the time it’s nice just. Being near each other sometimes while you just do your own thing. Maybe sneak a little snuggle in there too whatever you can get away with. I tend to be more vocal than most but yaknow not everyone uses their words which is fine, but I blabber a lot so good luck stopping me callin you nice things! Haha! Even if you cover my mouth you can’t stop me getting you nice things forever.

[dramarising-replacement]

Re: https://dramarising-replacement.tumblr.com/post/617916922335543296/so-ive-had-a-subspecies-since-september-i-noticed

TL;DR: Things are fishier than they seem, and M might actually be more of a thief than SB. At the very least, M 100% falsely accused SB of theft; at the worst, M stole SB’s idea and went on an editing spree to cover their tracks.

I don't have a tumblr so usually commenting on posts here is more trouble than it's worth, but I just have to on this one for some reason. Maybe it's because I think the entire concept of “subspecies” is stupid, maybe it's because thanks to a namedrop I could easily dig everything up... but from what I found the drama OP (M) definitely seems shady. Brace yourselves, my salty friends, for an unnecessarily long deep-dive into stupid drama (because what else are you going to spend quarantine doing?).

First, let's take a look at the timeline.

According to the original post date, the drama OP (M) created their subspecies in Dragon Share on September 13 2019. The thread has moderate activity levels up (~2 week post gaps max) until December 13 2019, when it apparently dies (barring any ghost bumping of course). The next post on the thread is made May 11 2020, when M suddenly becomes active again. M also created a new subspecies thread in Dragon Share on May 9 2020 at 13:05 FR (exact times will become relevant later on); it seems the posts were filled in with edits made within the next couple days, as is standard. Also of note is the fact that many of M’s posts in their original thread have edits made May 9 2020 from 10:39-13:27 FR (this will be key); additionally, a majority of these edits are made on posts that contain the guidelines for the subspecies- not sales, affiliates, pinglists, etc. that would require any sort of update.

The “accused” in this case (SB) created their hatchery thread in Dragons For Sale on December 24 2019. Aside from sales/affiliate posts, no edits to the main hatchery posts were made since December 29 2019 (likely filling in from a structure laid out 5 days prior), except for on March 19 2020, when it looks like they might have converted how they list dragons for sale to be linked to a tab instead of posted/adjusted g:t ratio. In any case, I believe these particular edits do not really play a big role on the overall timeline and drama, same as M's edits on their new thread. For a user that describes themselves as “barely active”, they do a decent job at bumping posts, with ~1 week between bumps except for 2 spans of ~1 month: from Feb-Mar, and after a short bout of bumping, from Mar-Apr.

The drama begins when M makes their post on SB’s hatchery thread May 09 2020 at 10:10 FR, which is edited less than a minute later (maybe a typo correction?). So here’s the timeline all pieced together:

September 13, 2019 – M creates the subspecies

December 13, 2019 – M seemingly goes inactive on their thread

December 24, 2019 – SB creates their hatchery thread

peace, until…

May 09, 2020 @10:10 – M accuses SB of “stealing” their idea on SB’s hatchery thread

May 09, 2020 @10:39 – M edits their subspecies requirement post

May 09, 2020 @13:05 – M creates a new subspecies thread

May 09, 2020 @13:14 – M edits their old subspecies main post

May 09, 2020 @13:21 – M edits a post about ‘Queen’ variant(?) requirements on their old thread (Important)

May 09, 2020 @13:27 – M edits a post showing examples of ‘Queen’ variants on their old thread (Important)

~BONUS~ May 12, 2020 – people start defending M on SB’s hatchery thread. The posts weren’t exactly the nicest, so who knows if they’ll still be around by the time this gets out of the queue

Ok, I know what you’re all thinking- what does all this mean? How is this shady?? For that, we will have to dive a bit more into the content of the posts to put some context to that timeline; but first, let’s take a look at the threads and see if the theft accusation is accurate.

M’s old subspecies thread:

Messy layout/design. Links are left as ugly long URLs, but most importantly… there is no consistency on what the subspecies design is! In the main post, no colors are listed, but the genes are specified to be Slime/Lionfish, Sludge/Bee, and Capsule. In their next post on the subspecies requirements, genes are listed as Slime, Sludge/Bee, Capsule- no Lionfish to be found! Color specifications are kept vague, with only a Honey tert required, though they do also lay out 4 specific named variations using Amber/Amber, Amber/Gold, Lemon/Gold, and Lemon/Lemon. The post with the ‘Queen’ requirements lists genes of Slime/Hex/Capsule, with no colors specified except for the same 4 variants made earlier.

M’s new subspecies thread:

Still a work in progress, but looks to be pretty much identical to the previous thread; the only main change is that banner is replaced with an original (credited!!) logo (good job on that, M). The main post specifies genes of Slime, Sludge/Bee, and Capsule. The color rule examples post contain the subspecies and the ‘Queen’ variant (Slime/Hex/Capsule), and include some additional variants as well- ‘Crystallized’ (Bee sec), ‘Wasp’ (Lionfish prim), Pollenators[sic] (Glimmer tert), and ‘Hornets’ (Pinstripe/Sludge/Glimmer).

So if you’ve been paying attention, M’s ~super special unique subspecies~ has color requirements of “anything honey-like” (while also having 4 specific color combinations) and a combination of random genes in addition to the “official” genes thanks to the addition of “variants” that have nothing to do with the original Slime/Sludge/Capsule premise. The only consistency seems to be Honey tert.

SB’s hatchery thread:

Aside from some hard-to-read colors used, has nice formatting. Lists 6 pairs, which are strictly either Amber/Amber or Grapefruit/Grapefruit, with a small range of matching terts for each pair (not necessarily encompassing Honey). 5 pairs give primarily Slime/Hex (+small gem gene chance), and 1 is Slime/Sludge. As far as terts go, 2 have terts weighted towards Capsule, 1 is Capsule/Runes, 1 is Opal/Glimmer, and 1 is Glimmer. So primarily Slime/Hex/assorted, in an xxy Amber/Grapefruit+assorted.

So to put that all together:

M’s claim of subspecies “theft” would really ONLY pertain to their ‘Queen’ variant, not their main subspecies (only 1 of SB’s pairs has a 50% chance at making M’s subspecies). In addition, the range built into SB’s pairs violate the only seemingly consistent rule of M’s subspecies: a Honey tert. The only argument for “theft” would pertain to the gene combo of Slime/Hex, which appears in 5 of SB’s pairs and M's ‘Queen’ variant (though again, SB’s pairs do not have the right tert color/gene most of the time!).

Now, do you remember that timeline? After accusing SB of “stealing” their idea (presumably for the ‘Queen’ variant), what did M immediately do? They went back to their thread and specifically edited the posts pertaining to the requirements for the subspecies and the ‘Queen’ variant! It’s theoretically even possible that the ‘Queen’ variant didn’t even formally exist when SB made their hatchery- all the dragons mentioned/posted in M’s thread are the standard Slime/Sludge/Capsule subspecies, and 3 of the registered dragons of the ‘Queen’ variant were bred in January (well after SB started their hatchery), with 1 other dragon acquired from untraceable sellers at some point (likely around the same time as it is the parent of the other 3). You might even say that perhaps M “stole” the idea for the ‘Queen’ from SB… M also posted the proof themselves in the OP that they use shady edits to change the narrative in their favor- SB specifically mentions this in the screenshots after calling out M for removing their link, who then backs it up by claiming they were “project” dragons; yet M placed them in the “Completed breeders” tab, which was hastily edited to now include “Breeders that need gene alterations”, a shady move that SB commented on and M decided to post proof of for some reason lol.

So if this is true, and M accused SB of stealing their idea, then raced to edit their posts to create a narrative to justify their claims… why would they do it? My theory is simple: an honest mistake combined with jealousy. There are only 12 registered dragons listed on both the old and new subspecies threads, half of which are owned by M. On the other hand, SB’s hatchery lists 22 dragons sold, only 1 of which is exalted. Now I don’t know anything about hatcheries, but I think that is a decent amount for just under 5 months of sales, especially when taking into account the periods of seeming inactivity. I think that M either went on hiatus or forgot/gave up on the subspecies back in December, before SB created their hatchery. SB then created their hatchery, using similar (but definitely not the same!) ideas. Time passed, and one day when browsing the sale forum M comes across SB’s thread. Seeing SB’s hatchery have the popularity they never had, combined with poor memory of the details of their subspecies after such a long time had passed, M comments mistakenly accusing SB of theft. However, not long after they find their old thread, and realize that SB isn’t at all copying their Slime/Sludge/Capsule xxy Amber-ish/Honey, and rush to make the edits needed to tidy up their claims. In the process, they quickly realize it’d be best to just start a new thread altogether, as the current thread was a mess and had no more reserved space past the ‘Queen’ variant (which may have been reserved/lore space before M covered their tracks). Far less sinisterly, perhaps M continued their subspecies idea after abandoning the thread, and after accusing SB they realized that they never actually officially updated their subspecies.

  But who’s to say? There might not be a smoking gun one way or the other, but there’s enough circumstantial evidence to say M doesn’t look as innocent as they sound. As far as SB’s response, it was definitely out of line and way too harsh. But you’ve also gotta admit you’d be pretty peeved if you had been peacefully minding your own business for months and suddenly someone comes in out of the blue, wrongfully accuses you of being a thief, demands you give them credit for all your hard work, then proceeds to buy your dragons to make them part of their “rightful” hatchery, erasing any mention of you as just another slap in the face. From looking at the dragons they’ve sold, SB doesn’t really seem to care what happens to them- genes have been changed, links have been removed, no drama that I can see. It really seems like they are reacting more to M’s shadiness over the whole deal than anything else. That said, nobody likes being namecalled, so SB’s parting remark wasn’t right even if they were wrongly accused of theft.

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

The Other Shore

A/n: This is a sequel to Hellfire, which is a sequel to Pomegranate Seeds, and this all takes place in the Brimstone Universe

Summary: Things have been different since Taemin left, and Jungkook just wants to help.

Warnings: WOW listen this is pure filth you have been warned, some angst, poly relationships, Bisexual Jungkook, Bisexual Taemin, Succubus!reader, threesomes (mmf), cum eating, oral sex (f. receiving, m. receiving), choking, dom/sub undertones, sub!JK, dom!Taemin

Word Count: 3299

Things are different, after Taemin.

It isn't as if the sex is different, Jungkook is more than happy to learn everything about your body, could spend days with his mouth on your heated skin, but you're different.

You're sad.

You don't say it, but sometimes he catches you humming to yourself, a melody he's never heard, and when he asks you about it you just give him this smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes.

"It's something someone used to sing to me. A long time ago."

He doesn't push you, but he can't help thinking about it, remembering how your eyes had rolled back in your head when Taemin fucked you and it makes his stomach hurt, some weird combination of jealousy and lust.

Jungkook thinks about it so much he starts dreaming about it, about how happy you could be with Taemin, about how your smile would reach your eyes again and he wakes up with tears drying on his cheeks.

"Do you miss him?" He asks you one night, hiding his face in your neck while he spoons you, taking comfort in all your soft curves but he clamps his forearm across your waist so you can't turn to look at him.

"Kook-"

"It's okay if you do," he says quietly, and you don't answer, just wrestle around to bury your face in his chest.

"I love you," you say, fierce although broken with tears and muffled by his shirt, and he knows you mean it.

It doesn't mean you're happy, though, and he knows that too.

It doesn't help that you won't talk about it, you just shut down when he asks you, go stiff anytime he mentions Taemin's name.

When you get a summer job and leave for a few hours each day, Jungkook starts doing research.

He reads a lot about demon lore, or at least he tries, but the books he really needs, about summoning, are all in Latin and it isn't exactly like he can ask you.

Luckily, he has a friend who married a witch, so he's able to get some good translations.

Jungkook's not at all sure it will work, worried that all he'll end up doing is burning the house down, but fuck it there's burned circles in the carpet already from you popping up from hell.

He takes a deep breath, sitting cross-legged in his living room, bare-chested with a goat's blood pentagram painted on his skin, white candles lit on the floor, and starts the spell.

It's a lot quicker than he expected, a moment after he completes the spell in halting Latin, Taemin appears in a burning circle, and promptly falls over, knocking over the candles and making Jungkook squeal and jump up to put out the flames.

"Shit, shit, I'm sorry, are you-" he crouches down to look at Taemin, lying facedown on the carpet. "Are you drunk?"

"No more than usual," Taemin mutters, voice muffled by the carpet.

Jungkook heaves him up and Taemin was slight before, but it seems like he's too light when Jungkook helps him to the couch, as if he's lost weight in the month since he'd disappeared.

Taemin blinks at him when he's finally (mostly) upright as if he's just now recognizing him.

He groans. "Not you."

Jungkook flushes a little. "Needed to talk to you. It's about Y/n."

Taemin's eyes flash and he stiffens. "What's happened? Is she all right?"

"No, no, she's…. she's fine. Physically. But I...I think she's sad, hyung."

Taemin scoffs, running a hand over his face. "If you can't satisfy her, it isn't my job to help you, human."

Jungkook huffs out a frustrated breath. "No, not that, hyung. She...she misses you."

Taemin blinks at him again, and he picks at his wrinkled shirt, looking away from Jungkook. "She...she does?" 

His voice goes all soft, devoid of bravado and disdain, and Jungkook feels suddenly miserable.

"You love her, yeah?"

Taemin looks up at him again, dark eyes bright with something Jungkook can't name. Taemin clears his throat. "Doesn't matter."

"It does matter!" Jungkook cries, sitting on the coffee table in front of him, but withering s bit when Taemin gives him a sharp look. "It does matter. I want her to be happy. She'd be happier with you, you gotta...you gotta convince her to go back with you, to marry you-" Jungkook's voice cracks a little, and he's fighting back tears.

Taemin's mouth twists in a bitter smile. "Don't you think if I thought that would work, I'd have done it years ago? I'd get down on my knees and beg if I thought-" He stops, draws a shaky breath.

"What do I do then, hyung? She loves you. She loves you and she loves me too and she's just so sad all the time." Jungkook feels his lip trembling and he hangs his head.

Taemin is quiet for a moment, and then he stands, steadying himself on the arm of the couch. "She doesn't love me, human. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a 1000 year bottle of Scotch calling my name."

"So what, you're just gonna go back to hell and drink yourself to death? Leave her here to mourn you? She's sad and you're obviously a mess-"

Taemin turns, eyes flashing at Jungkook's impertinence. "Watch your mouth, human."

Jungkook stands, taller than the demon, clenching his fists. "She does love you. I know it."

"She gave up an eternity as a demon princess for you, you stupid human. I didn't give her up so that you can let her be upset-"

"Then help me!" Jungkook lowers his voice. "Help me make her happy. If she loves us both…" Jungkook swallows. "Why can't she have us both?"

Taemin raises a groomed eyebrow. "What are you suggesting, mortal?"

Jungkook feels the blood rush to his face. How did he do that? How did he switch on a dime from being scary and intimidating to...to...sexy?

"I-I...we can...we can share."

"You and I? Or me and Persephone?" Taemin croons, voice like velvet, and Jungkook chokes on air.

"E-either. B-both," he stutters.

Jungkook can't look at him, he's half-hard in his sweats just thinking about it and why does Taemin's burnt cinnamon smell go right to his cock anyway, it's clearly some kind of demon aphrodisiac…

Taemin puts a slender finger under Jungkook's chin and lifts his head.

"That what you want, mortal? To be our little pet?"

Jungkook wonders if it's possible to die from all the blood leaving your brain to your genitals.

He swallows, throat dry. "Y-yes."

"Just to make her happy?"

"I'd do anything to make her happy," he says, earnestly, but then he swallows. "But...but not just because of that. Before, when we-when all three of us-" he can't say it, just thinking about that night makes his brain short circuit.

Taemin laughs, a real one, and it's like honey.

"Oh, baby. Don't hurt yourself."

Jungkook's knees go a little weak when Taemin calls him "baby," and he sits down on the couch.

"We'll talk to Persephone," Taemin promises, and Jungkook nods dumbly.

"She'll be home in an hour."

Taemin looks down at himself. "In that case, can I use your shower?"

Jungkook almost stumbles over the coffee table to go and get Taemin a towel, and he realizes too late, half an hour later, that he needs a shower too, stinks of animal blood.

Taemin has the door open and that burnt cinnamon smell just gets stronger as he washes the alcohol away and Jungkook disappears into the guest bathroom to wash up, fighting the urge to reach down his sweats and palm his aching cock.

Jungkook is on the couch, trying to think about anything unsexy, when Taemin comes through the living room with a towel slung low on his hips.

Jungkook tries to look everywhere but at the lithe lines of his body.

He's already sat out a pair of his smaller sweats and a t-shirt, hoping it wouldn't completely swallow the leaner man.

When Taemin drops the towel and dresses right in front of him, Jungkook can't help squeaking a bit in the back of his throat.

Taemin laughs, that honey sound melting over him, and Jungkook feels the tips of his ears going red.

"You know, I might actually be looking forward to this. Such a sensitive little pet."

Jungkook's dick twitches in his sweats and he wants to yell.

"D-don't say things like that."

Jungkook doesn't notice Taemin sliding up next to him until he feels his long fingers in his hair, and a sharp tug, making Jungkook grunt.

Taemin looks down at his exposed throat, almost hungry, and Jungkook's mouth goes dry.

"Don't tell me what to do, boy." Taemin spits out, and what weird kink had Jungkook developed that Taemin's disgusted tone only makes him harder?

Jungkook hears your key in the lock and he whimpers quietly when Taemin releases his hair.

Your feet stutter when you see Taemin, and Jungkook feels like he shouldn't watch, like this reunion is something sacred and private, but he's fascinated by the raw look on Taemin's face, how your eyes fill instantly with tears.

It isn't like he expects, you don't run to him, he doesn't sweep you up into his arms, but Jungkook thinks maybe this hurts more, your hand tucking a strand of damp hair behind Taemin's ears.

"You smell like firewhiskey," you say, softly.

"I've spent a month drinking it, it's probably seeping out of my pores," Taemin admits, but the smile that ghosts across his full lips is so much softer than the twisted smirk he'd had earlier.

"You idiot," you mutter, just as softly, and put your head on his chest.

Taemin lets out a shaky breath, one hand trembling as it strokes your hair. "I missed you, Persephone."

Jungkook feels adrift, as if he should leave, as if he's watching something forbidden, and his chest aches and of course it'd be like this, of course he'd be obsolete, he doesn't know how he ever thought-

But then you lift your head, give him a withering stare, and his breath stops in his throat.

"Jeon Jungkook, what did you do?"

He doesn't know what to say, and he's grateful when Taemin answers for him.

"He summoned me."

"Wh-why?" Your eyes dart between Jungkook and Taemin, catching your bottom lip between your teeth.

"You've been so sad, Y/n. I thought...I thought he could make you happy."

You're shaking your head, slipping out of Taemin's arms to stalk over to Jungkook, poking a finger into his chest. 

"I told you, you make me happy."

"He thought we could make you happy together," Taemin offers, and Jungkook nods gratefully.

"Together? You don't mean-"

You glance at Taemin and his smirk turns wicked again. "He wants to be our pet, Persephone. Isn't that sweet?"

You look torn for a moment, but then your lips twitch up at the corners, almost a replica of Taemin's smirk.

"He is sweet," you croon, trailing your fingers along Jungkook's bare collarbone.

Jungkook feels his skin heat under your touch, it's been hours and he's been so worked up and anxious that his hips twitch involuntarily.

Taemin strides over to stand at your side and you look for all the world like the demon royalty you were meant to be, a king and queen looking down fondly at their subject and Jungkook wants it, wants it so bad saliva fills his mouth. He doesn't know what he's going to say until he says it.

"I'll be good," he whispers. "I'll be so good."

"Aw, baby. You're always good," you coo, and your hands in his hair make him whine.

"Please touch me," he pleads, but it's Taemin's long fingers sliding down his spine and Jungkook shivers.

You place both hands on his chest and then Taemin's wicked mouth is sucking marks onto his neck and it's all too much, Jungkook feels like just the feeling of your hands at his waistband is enough to make him come apart.

It's you who tugs down his sweats and underwear but the fingers curling around his aching cock are longer, nimbler, and Jungkook's hips buck forward.

He feels unsteady, heady and lightheaded with the mix of your cherry scent and Taemin's scorched cinnamon, and he whines again.

"Fuck. Fuck." Taemin's fingers are dancing along the underside of his cock and it's surely illegal to feel this good.

When you go down on your knees in front of him, smiling up at him, he surely would've fallen if not for Taemin bracing him against his chest. He's surprisingly firm and strong, for all his slight frame and your mouth and Taemin's handwork together as if they were meant to and Jungkook is babbling and pleading, head thrown back against Taemin's shoulder.

"Feels so good, please, I'm gonna cum, gonna fill up that pretty mouth-"

Taemin's fingers are suddenly a vice around the base of his cock and the orgasm that had been building in his belly halts.

"No," he whispers, almost mournfully, and he hears you giggle around him.

"Thought you were gonna be our good pet, human. You didn't ask permission." Taemin's honeyed voice sends a chill of pleasure down his spine and his hips jerk.

"Please, please, oh, fuck, I'll be good, I'll be so good if you just let me-"

Taemin's other hand moves around his throat, squeezing gently, and Jungkook gasps.

"Tell him the safeword, Persephone." Taemin says, almost a growl.

You pop off of him, a string of saliva spreading from your bottom lip to the tip of his cock that makes Jungkook groan.

"Brimstone," you chirp, and Jungkook can feel Taemin smiling against his throat.

"Good girl."

Jungkook doesn't remember getting into the bedroom, he can't think, everything in him just straining and begging for release, but then Taemin is sitting up, back against the headboard and you look almost giddy, climbing up on top of him like a throne.

You face Jungkook and Taemin spears into you like it's a perfect fit and all Jungkook can do is stare dumbly as Taemin spreads your thighs wide, displaying your glistening, swollen cunt.

Taemin's eyes are on him, that sinful mouth of his twisted in a smirk. He crooks two long fingers.

"Come on, baby. What are you waiting for?"

"In-Instruction," Jungkook stutters out, and the low chuckle that comes out of Taemin's throat makes his belly flood with heat.

"Good boy."

The praise sends an ache through his cock but Jungkook ignores it, climbs up on the bed and Taemin has one hand around your throat, long fingers on your pulse and when Jungkook slides up between your thighs Taemin lifts his knees on either side of you to give him space.

The movement causes you to bounce on Taemin's cock and you moan, long and low. 

"You like that, my princess? Want our pet to lick that pretty cunt of yours while I fuck you?"

You let out another moan and Jungkook notices that Taemin's fingers are looser around your throat, almost caressing.

He fills his heart swell, he thought he'd be jealous but instead he just wants it all for you, wants you to have Taemin's love and his both because you're so good and perfect and beautiful.

"I love you," Jungkook whispers, and your fingers thread softly in his hair.

"I love you, too, Persephone. Missed you so much," Taemin murmurs against your skin, and Jungkook flattens his tongue to press it against your clit, the taste of cherries and cinnamon and sex blooming on his tongue.

Jungkook ruts against the sheets and he knows he's leaving stains of his precum but he can't bring himself to care, moaning against you, and you're nearly keening, bouncing on Taemin's cock while rocking your hips forward to meet Jungkook's tongue.

Taemin is rocking up beneath you and there's not much precision to be had, you're riding Jungkook's face, and fuck, it feels good to be used, make him wonder if he can cum just from rolling his hips into the mattress.

"Gonna cum for us, baby? We like to spoil our princess, right Jungkookie?" Taemin's voice brings him back, and he breathes out of his nose, trying to focus.

"Hold her for me, human," Taemin barks, but his voice is hoarse with need and Jungkook grabs hold of your hips, tight, as Taemin jerks up beneath you with a fluidity that doesn't seem human.

You're crying out, pleading, "Taemin, Jungkook, please, please," and Jungkook swears he can smell it, like burst cherries under his nose, when you cum.

"Ah, ah, Persephone, my princess…" Taemin's groans are almost musical.

"Roll over, baby," you gasp, and Jungkook obeys immediately, feeling drunk and heady with all the demon pheromones in the air.

Then you lower yourself down on his face, trembling, and you taste unbelievable, cherries and cinnamon scorched together like the sweetest wine and Jungkook puts both hands on your ass to spread you, lick your still pulsing cunt clean.

"Do you want to cum, pet?" Taemin's fingers are tapping along his inner thighs and Jungkook has to take a breath against your thigh before he answers, his hips nearly bucking off the bed.

"Please, please, hyung, I've been good."

"So good, baby," you murmur, and your fingers tease at his nipples and Jungkook wants to be good, he really does, but his balls have drawn tight and his hips are rolling in the air.

This is so much worse than those seeds, he can't fucking think, he just needs to cum so badly he might explode.

Taemin's forearm clamps down over Jungkook's abdomen, he's so strong to be so slight, and Jungkook moans against your clit.

He cries out when he feels your small thumb collecting precum from the tip of his cock, sliding it down his length and Taemin's nimble fingers caressing his balls, which have drawn uptight.

"C-can I?" He stutters, whimpering when you move off him and he blinks when he sees Taemin's wicked smile between his legs. When Taemin kitten licks just the tip of Jungkook's swollen cock, his orgasm hits him like a freight train, and you kiss him hard, biting at his lip, and all the world is made of pleasure and relief.

He doesn't know if he blacks out or if everything just moves fast after that but before he knows it you're dragging a cool cloth against his belly to clean him.

"Sorry," he mumbles, so tired he can barely hold his eyelids open. "I tried not to, baby, I tried to be good…"

You coo at him, planting kisses all along his jawline, the bridge of his nose.

"You did so good, baby."

"We've had demon pets who didn't do half as well," Taemin remarks, and Jungkook flushes a deep pink when Taemin kisses him almost chastely on the lips.

Jungkook starts a bit, half asleep. "You... you've had other pets?" He knows his words are slurred, eyes keep drifting shut.

"Not like you, baby," you assure him, brushing his sweaty hair back from his face, and Jungkook falls into a dreamless sleep.

🔥🔥🔥

It goes as smoothly as one could have expected, becoming a pet to two demons.

Jungkook struggles a bit at first with the extra pheromones when you and Taemin are away, down in hell, dealing with your father, and the first time you're gone more than a few hours he feels like he might burn alive with lust, but he's able to handle it after a few weeks.

There's lots of new positions to try and things to discover, but his favorite part is having you wrapped in both their arms, your bright smile in the mornings when you wake up cuddled between them.