#LOVE HIM THOUGH HES SUCH A PETTY BITCH IN SEASON ONE AND I LOVE FOR IT

[goatedgreen]

Okay lets analyse this one for realsies. Im gonna go through each character in this tweet and go through reasons why i think they either would or would not be crying first, then im gonna put them in order of who survives the roast sesh.... join me on this wonderous journey.

Let's start with Atsumu.... where to even fucking begin. sorry to the Atsumu haters but i truly believe he would not be crying first. First of all he has known Osamu since he was born and while Osamu is the "nice twin" the bar is truly in hell and that motherfucker is mean to one person and one person only and that person is his twin brother Atsumu. This mfer has been conditioned since birth to roast and be roasted. Not only that but this guy was CANONICALLY hated by everyone in his middle school, and his only reaction to that information was "So?" HE DOES NOT CARREEEE. And, I will say, while the other characters shown here are bitchy, they usually target people in petty ways that make fun of their skills (with the exception of Daisho who would probs call Atsumu a single loser but he'd likely just get annoyed by that not cry) and Atsumu knows that his skills are too good for anything they say to hold weight., He has the ego the size of the fucking gym. he's fine.

TSUKISHIMA on the other hand.... dare i say it not the strongest contender ... I dont think FIRST. but this guy is wayyyy more sensitive to criticism than people generally give him credit for. LIKE YES BEFORE YOU JUMP DOWN MY THROAT, he absolutely has the whole "keep booing me it only makes me stronger" thing going on in the Inarizaki game BUT YOU FORGET SO QUICKLY how absolutely insecure this guy is. until yamaguchi kicked his ass into gear in the training camp, he was of the impression that trying to get better at something he enjoyed was fruitless because there was always going to be someone better than him. Someone insightful like Oikawa or Atsumu would def be able to pick up on that insecurity and target him for it. I think his strongest talent is of course provoking people so much that they cant see how much they're affecting him, so he gets a lot of points for pettiness that would keep him from crying first because theres no way he's gonna LOSEEEE to someone like Daisho or Oikawa. BONUS POINTS on his behalf though is he was the only one on the team at the end of season one who WASNT CRYING about their loss. And i think the only one on karasuno who we havent seen cry (as far as i can remember).

Now listen.... fanon Oikawa is for sure crying first because for some bizzare reason people characterise him as a pushover twink. Canon Oikawa told USHIJIMA to remember his worthless pride so he could crush him in the future. like... he's kind of taking names a little. i'll allow him a small slay for his efforts of being a bitch to Ushijima. Oikawa is SMARTTTT and has a lot of emotional intelligence, so can for sure target people's insecurities with pinpoint accuracy. He doesnt get SUPER easily riled up when he's "in the zone" and only lashes out when he's backed into a corner. he hangs out with what is probably a team of people scientifically designed in a lab to HUMBLE HIM DAILY, so he has built up somewhat immunity to being insulted and targeted for bully behaviour. LOSES TREMENDOUS AMOUNTS OF POINTS for being kind of a sore loser and someone who FOR SURE cries when angry or frustrated.

Daisho.... why is he even here (sorry to those who love him). Listen... this guy is petty, and he lowkey cheats, and he takes immense joy in riling people up for shits and gigs... BUT WHYYY IS HE HERE LMAOOOO. to be honest, i dont think he would cry first purely for the fact that he doesnt know these other guys well enough to really gaf about what theyre saying to him. on the other hand, that makes him kind of an easy target because he's so irrelevant to these other guys lives that they could probably make him feel like shit for that reason only. he gets bonus points for being the only one in a canonical relationship (oikawas girlfriend we never meet that he broke up with doesnt count, in fact it loses him points).

WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID. the final order i think is, Oikawa goes out crying first, not because he's upset but because he got sooo fucking mad at Atsumu's unbothered behaviour he had to leave and he was angry crying while doing it. Daisho is next because Tsukishima said some shit like "bro who even are you lmaooo irrelevant ass" and he remembered he sucks at volleyball and got upset, he's okay tho bc his gf is there to comfort him. Atsumu cries next but not because of anything Tsukishima says, he just gets so fucking bored of Tsukishima not giving him interesting reactions to his jabs that he starts doing weird shit like standing on his head and he ends up hurting himself and crying because he is a big baby. Tsukishima is the last one standing .

...

That is of course assuming that Oikawa doesnt kill them all first with his Super Triple Homo Spin Serve that killed all of Karasuno. People forget so quickly that he is the most diabolical anime villain of all time...

[onesidedradiostatic]

Personally I think they're both huffing a bit of copium about one another (Vox and Alastor) but Alastor is better at hiding it/maintaing his cool. We know that at least Valentino feels confident enough to goad Vox into taking the bait, that Alastor "almost" beat him last time. It's an interesting attitude compared to Vox's. Even Velvette doesn't seem all that concerned with Alastor, both her and Valentino are confident in the Vees current status and it's only Vox's personal insecurities that prevent him from sharing that mindset.

Vox's medium IS the victor in the grand scheme of things, he (along with the other Vees) ARE more relevant than Alastor/radio. And Vox is also capable of upgrading/improving himself over time in a way Alastor (from what we've seen) is not. It's so interesting seeing Vox unable to fully realize his strength/power - he can say it all he wants, but I don't think he really believes it. We the audience, however, know that visual media is king... case in point we are watching this series as a show on screens. Vox's hypnotism and electric powers are also pretty OP, he's got a good deck of cards (even though we haven't seen the full extent of how he can really leverage these yet).

And let's not forget Alasor BOOKED IT across town to get back at Vox during Stayed Gone. I think Alasor is (and should be) somewhat nervous (maybe "cautiously aware" is a better term) about the influence Vox and the Vees have regarding the future of media. He doesn't crack easily, as we've seen, but he cares enough to engage with Vox which he doesn't bother doing with outright "lessers".

In this way the dynamic is more even (in my opinion) than many give it credit for, which I personally prefer, but to each their own... for me, if it's not more equally matched, I struggle to see how the Vees will be worthwhile antagonists in the next season and that would be such a shame for characters that have so much potential. I just love the Vees!

(prev ask)

ehh I mean I do feel that they are on more equal level than some of the fandom may make them out to be but I still don't feel like they're exactly on the same level. like every time I see takes about mutual stuff between them I still can't fully agree cause to me, it's still on some level imbalanced. I do think they are of roughly equal power yes, but I think alastor being able to keep his cool is in fact a point towards him having the upperhand. it's the fact that vox is literally incapable of keeping his cool when it comes to alastor that spells more of his weakness when it comes to him I think. but yeah I mean how the vees, or rather vox will be a proper antagonist when he's so easily defeated by alastor is what I've been asking for a while LMAO.

and the thing is, we've seen instances like alastor being somewhat scared when zestial pops up, his mask slipping when starting stupid beef with lucifer (his eye is literally twitching the moment lucifer steps into the hotel LMAO), and of course with his fight with adam. we don't see any of that when it comes to the vees/vox, alastor waves them off as "nobody important" when niffty asks, easily tramples vox in stayed gone (and yes, he did immediately go back to his radio tower to bite back, but I don't think that's necessarily out of fear, could've easily just been he saw he was being insulted on live tv and HAD to bite back because he's a petty bitch), and gloated to him about having to "try harder than that" after failing to spy on him.

in my view, he doesn't see the vees or vox as a serious threat. HOWEVER, I do think that could easily be a point against alastor. his cockiness and not taking them seriously could very well come bite him in the back (JUUUUST like with adam!)

but when it comes to his current season 1 dynamic with vox, I do think he has the upperhand because of their different attitudes. if vox was able to keep his cool like alastor he wouldn't have caused a city-wide blackout over stayed gone LMAO. they're definitely more leveled power-wise though I think, the difference comes in their attitudes. if vox won the idgaf war a bit more they'd be more leveled, but he has chosen to obsess over him 24/7 so here we are.

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

ok, first post where blake is blake!! also, excuse the absolute dumpster fire that is my life, and is the reason that this post is one post and not like 47

last season! (2022-23) part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven / part twelve

(2023-24)! part one /

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, adamfantilli and 6,947 others

blakefriarr_: so many things have happened since i last popped up on all your timelines and made them immeasurably better!

this is episode one of season two of i-am-both-the sister-of-the-devils-home-emergency-backup-goaltender-and-also-happen-to-be dating-dawson-mercer-forward-for-the-devils series!

these pictures are in no particular order, because, i am moving into a new place with afore mentioned dawson mercer and have spent the last several weeks making it look like it's not the most depressing back alley murderous apartment any of you have ever laid your eyes on

and apparently, i have a ball ton of stuff!

regardless, here's what i've caught up on;

the entire nhl draft! though i have not acquired any new adoptees, it did come to my attention that the anaheim ducks as an organization did personally victimize me during the 2023 entry draft (they also took a BALLSY amount of time to re-sign bitch one and bitch two. what the literal fuck, dudes). also- if you are seeing this and you need help to flee, blink twice (not you adam) (you know who you are)

2, the entire preseason was also missed while i was one, curing myself from jetlag and the absolute dread of going back to uni and two, moving my egregious amount of shit with a spiteful level of independence. the devils won every preseason game! dawson scored that clusterfuck of a goal on slide two and we also got to see goalie bonks again! (i told you those pics weren't in order and i meant it)

three, (or four, i forgot what came first) quinneth played his first regular season game as captain of the canucks ad they kicked ass against the edmonton dudes. goncrats captain ;p

four (probably) rookie had both his first reg season nhl game AND his birth on the same day! he cried on camera for thousands of viewers and made me question kidnapping his brother and locking him in an abandoned building in ohio (who am i kidding i don't want to be in ohio). the blue jackets have since been doing blue jacket things (losing)

five (it's all blended together these days) the devs started their regular season and now i get to go to the arena and watch in peace as nico makes dumb faces, jack gets into petty scrums and goes to the box (apparently? that ones new.) and dawson does dawson things (be hot)

sixth and finally, assistant coach and captain quinn (he should probably drop a title for his mental health, me thinks) turned 24! i giggled profusely at an edit of him as tracksuit rob. good job on aging, kid 🎉

that's all, i think. (probably not, what do i know)

view 712 comments..

jj.friar31: remember when we were roomies??? siblings defying the odds?? i've been left out to dry. i'm MARINATING in my loneliness. you've basically shot me and left me out for dead, blakey.

→ blakefriarr_: this is a touch dramatic, that's MY thing

→ jj.friar31: if i agree to never steal your dramatics again will you come back

→ blakefriarr_: have u seen how pretty my boyfriend is?? no dude

→ jj.friar31: blake pls

adamfantilli: of every picture you could've used you just decided to screenshot me crying

→ blakefriarr_: hi im blake have we met??

→ adamfantilli: also, do not kidnap luca.

→ blakefriarr_: oh so you just don't want my love?? is that what this is??

→ luca.fantilli: do not kidnap me

→ blakefriarr_: BOOORRRINNNGGGGG

nicohischier: every day i wonder what it would be like if we didn't let the ebug's come into the room

→ blakefriarr_: do you want dawson to be lonely and bitchless

→ nicohischer: yeah kinda??

→ blakefriarr_: oh

jackhughes: why.

→ blakefriarr_ ehehehe your bucket doing weird things

_quinnhughes: ??????? why am i tracksuit rob????

→ blakefriarr_: who else would be tracksuit rob

→ _quinnhughes: nobody needs to be tracksuit rob, friar.

→ _blakefriarr_: WRONG! you do :)

_connorbedard: am i who i are???

→ blakefriarr_: no apparently you are timbaland

→ _connorbedard: oh. okay?

→ adamfantilli: @/_connorbedard you get used to it

→ _connorbedard: do i want to??

→ adamfantilli: eh. 50/50

dawson1417: oh how i've missed the chaos

→ blakefriarr_: fbejdbsjshdghshsb

→ dawson1417: sometimes it's almost like you say words

→ blakefriarr_: :p i love you

→ dawson1417: i love you too, my girl <3

tannercharlotte: this is my reality tv

→ blakefriarr_: i'll leave him for u say the word

→ dawson1417: HEY??

→ blakefriarr_: shhhh baby go sleep

→ tannercharlotte: don't leave him b he doesn't have to know

ryangraves27: she back

→ blakefriarr_: i back!!

nhlblackhawks: ??

→ njdevils: don't '??' her she's right

→ blakefriarr_: thank you (trade for charlie)

→ nyrangers: i can excuse hawks slander but i draw the line at trying to take our char

→ nhlblackhawks: you can excuse hawks slander?

→ jj.friar31: why do teams keep doing this you have ENOUGH leverage over me

trevorzegras: am i bitch one or bitch two

→ trevorzegras: actually yk what don't answer that i don't wanna know

→ blakefriarr_: too bad you're actually both jamie is an angel

view more comments..

[foxyanon]

To Love A Dragon: Part 3

Since my birthday is in a couple days, here’s a gift from me to y’all! Something a bit lighter for my babies after the last depressive piece I released 😅 I do directly quote Season 2 Episode 2 in this, because let’s be real, ‘twas iconic on Sihtrics part

Summary: An oath is sworn, and a man put in his place.

Pairing: Sihtric Kjartansson x Rhaenerys Targaryen

Word Count: 2439

Rating: 18+, MDNI

TW: Eadred is a cunt, Rhaenerys is a bad bitch, otherwise there isn’t any major warnings here

Part 1, Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from The Last Kingdom or A Song of Ice And Fire nor do I own any of the images used. I only own my OC, Rhaenerys Targaryen.

Dividers by @arcielee and @zaldritzosrose

The next day, Guthred held a Witan, whatever that meant, in his hall and Rhaenerys stood in attendance with Ser Elwood at her side. She watched as the men bickered, the petty lords arguing with whether or not they should march to Eoferwic, claiming that they had no enemies in the city but that their lands would be left defenseless should they march with their king. The whole thing was rather entertaining to her, because she couldn’t imagine any lord in Westeros making such statements to her own father. Guthred kept speaking in that aggravating tone, the one where he was trying to portray authority but his voice kept cracking.

”Are we certain this man is actually a king and not the court jester?” Rhaenerys muttered under her breath, chuckling a little when Ser Elwood tsked at her. She glanced at him quickly and saw he had cracked a smile at her joke but was still trying to maintain a neutral expression.

She turned back to the crowd and listened as Uhtred claimed there was wealth aplenty in this city, as well as lands. Some fool in the back made a comment about women as well that had some others laughing, and Rhaenerys had to remind herself to keep her mouth shut at such a disgusting comment. Then of course Abbot Eadred gave some rousing speech about how their army was holy and they needed to liberate Eoferwic, that God is with them and so on. It did not go unnoticed by Rhaenerys that Guthred looked upset that he couldn't inspire the way the older man did. Even more interesting was the reaction from Uhtred and Guthred’s sister, Gisela. By the expressions on their faces, there was a more personal slight at Eadred’s comments.

Guthred approached her after everyone had been dismissed, his demeanor one of a man about to ask for something by beating around the bush. “So Princess, what do you think of Cumberland so far?” He asked, clasping his hands together.

She hummed, watching as the lords dispersed the hall in the early morning. “It is…very different from what I am used to,” she responded politely, wondering how long it would take him to get to his point. Blissfully, he got right to it.

”I was wondering if perhaps you might march with us? I should like to ask about your own home and perhaps discuss an alliance between our two kingdoms,” Guthred said, looking nervous despite him having been the one to reach out seeking a marriage with her. Even though she wanted to outright refuse his offer, she wouldn’t deny a certain curiosity at seeing this Eoferwic place and getting a better idea of the people in this land.

”I do not see why not, I should like to see more of this place and have my maesters archive as much as possible. Though, you understand I may not participate in any battle, yes? I cannot in good faith order my men to fight for another’s cause if there is nothing in it for them,” Rhaenerys said, laying some bait to see how he would react.

The man in front of her looked taken aback for a moment, before nodding his head and speaking once more. “Of course, Your Highness. As there is no official alliance between us, it is understandable you wish to do the proper thing. Perhaps a share of the spoils and even access to Church records? I understand you are something of a learned woman,” he spoke rather quickly, seeming a little desperate for more men in this fight.

Rhaenerys cocked a brow at Guthred before answering. “Yes, I do enjoy scholarly pursuits,” she corrected, trying not to bristle at him for his insult. She’s a scholar, equal to the men who use the title and not just a woman who wishes to learn. She shared a look with Ser Elwood, considering the offer. Nothing needed to be said between them, the subtle nod of her sworn shield all the confirmation she needed. “Very well, King Guthred. I accept your offer to march to Eoferwic and share in the win. Perhaps the journey will be enlightening for us all,” she said, knowing full well she was going to take that time learning about a certain currently imprisoned man.

Sihtric had been marched behind the wagon he was tied to, the body of Saint Cuthbert leading the procession at the front. They had only just begun the journey, stopping to make camp on the first day when he decided he needed to act. He had seen no sign of Lord Uhtred or the Princess Rhaenerys and he was not so sure Halig would get either of them without a little persuasion. He put his plan into motion the moment the nun wearing Tekils armor started approaching, the bag of heads in her hand.

”You! Girl!” Sihtric called out, only for Hild to ignore him.

“Woman!” No response.

“Warrior,” he said, sighing heavily. That got her attention, and she turned around to give him a look.

”I need to go into the woods there,” he started, Hild only arching a brow at him. “I need to shit,” again Hild only gave him an unimpressed look before turning around and continuing on her way. “I do not wish to fill my breeches!” He hollered, watching as Hild said something to Halig that had him and another man coming to take him into the woods.

Naturally they shoved him around, but he was used to it so he didn’t let that dissuade him from his plan. He dug a small hole to sell his story, Halig taking that time to ask about Dunholm fortress.

”It is tall,” he chuckled, unable to resist being snarky.

”Tell him that and you are a dead man,” Halig said with an incredulous laugh.

”Then let me speak to him.”

”He will speak to you when he is ready. He is a good man,” Halig said, the look in his eyes saying he spoke true.

Sihtric stood up, pretending like he was going to do his business and waited until the other men turned around before making his move. He was quick to knock the bigger man off his feet with the rope binding him, kicking Halig back to the ground and disarming the bigger man. Overall, the fight only lasted a few minutes, Halig and Sihtric trading blows until the Dane got the upper hand. He held the blade against Halig's throat, shouting at the other man.

“You will fetch Lord Uhtred or Princess Rhaenerys. Tell Uhtred I have his man. Now!” It didn’t take much for the man to run off, hollering for Uhtred and the Princess as he quickly made his way back to the camp. “With luck, we shall both live,” Sihtric spoke softly to Halig, not moving the blade from his throat.

He watched as a small crowd assembled, Uhtred followed by Hild and Rhaenerys flanked by her knight. Uhtred was the first to reach him, a look of fury on his face and Sihtric got right to speaking.

As Rhaenerys walked up, she overheard a conversation between Sihtric and Lord Uhtred. From the looks of it, Sihtric was trying to bargain for his life. What caught her attention, however, was the fact he was still bound and holding a sword to Halig. To say she was a little impressed would be an understatement, so she watched attentively from the sidelines.

”A life for a life, is it?” Uhtred asked.

”My life for my sword. I wish to serve either you or the Princess. I could’ve killed both of your men, but I wish to serve either you or the Princess, Lord,” Sihtric spoke, maintaining eye contact throughout the exchange.

“You are Kjartan’s man,” Uhtred rolled his eyes, not believing the young man.

Rhaenerys watched as Sihtric shook his head, the next words out of his mouth solidifying her desire to accept his oath for herself. “No. I am Kjartan’s bastard son whelped on a slave girl,” he responded.

Naturally, Abbot Eadred decided to pipe in and make his opinions known, proclaiming Sihtric a heathen and saying he should be killed while Uhtred yelled that no one should move and just let him speak. Rhaenerys looked at the Abbot curiously, wondering what he meant by the use of the word heathen since that meant something different in Westeros. Sihtric did not look like a wildling to her, he looked like a Northerner if anything. The shouting match between Uhtred and Eadred carried on for another moment before she decided to step in before they came to blows.

”Enough!” Rhaenerys commanded, stepping into an authoritative role with ease. Everyone stopped and looked at her, and she turned first to Eadred. “Perhaps you might enlighten me what you mean when you call this man a heathen, Abbot. That word has a very different meaning where I am from,” she spoke, her wrist finding its home on the pommel of Dark Sister, a habit she picked up from watching her father.

The man glared at Uhtred for a moment before facing her, collecting himself before speaking in a measured tone. “Of course, Your Highness. What I mean is this boy a pagan barbarian, he follows the false gods instead of the one true God. His people are uncivilized savages, a plague meant to be cleansed from this land by the hands of the righteous.”

She clenched her jaw, picking up his meaning instantly. She had played nice so far, but for him to classify any outside his own narrow minded views as unworthy of existing had her blood boiling and she was going to put him in his place. “Answer me this, do you think Ser Elwood here is a heathen?” She asked harshly, gesturing to the older man behind her.

”No, Your Highness. He is a good and godly man, unlike some present,” Eadred stated, cutting his eyes towards Uhtred and Sihtric.

”He is a good man, yes, but not a godly one. He follows the Faith of the Seven, a religion which worships multiple gods,” Rhaenerys gripped Dark Sister, willing herself to keep a level tone instead of throttling the fool in front of her. “Do you believe the captain of my household guard, Beren Harclay, my own mother’s cousin and follower of the Old Gods, is a heathen?”

Eadred realized his faux pas too late, his eyes widening as he prepared to back track but the look in her eyes had him answering her in a nervous manner, twisting his hands anxiously. “No, Princess. What I meant was-“

“I myself follow the Gods of Old Valyria, just like my father and grandmother,” she cut him off, her gaze hard as she practically stared him into submission. “Am I a heathen, Abbot?” She snarled, watching as the men behind Eadred shrank back a little from her tone.

”No, Princess,” Eadred answered, looking like a thoroughly chastised boy in that moment as the realization his words had insulted her and her people, thus effectively ruining any chance at an alliance between Cumberland and Westeros.

Rhaenerys took a deep breath before glaring at Eadred once more. “For a man whose faith preaches loving thy neighbor, you certainly have an interesting way of going about it,” she ground out, Eadred grinding his own teeth as he bit his tongue to prevent putting his foot in his mouth any further. She didn’t miss how Uhtred smirked a little as the man stepped back to his place beside Guthred, nor did it escape her notice that the king did not intervene.

He truly is a weak man with no backbone, she thought with a roll of her eyes, turning her head to face Uhtred. “I believe Sihtric has made his intentions clear enough. Either you accept his oath, or I will ask that he be released to me so that I might. I could use a man of his skill and knowledge, since I am clearly uninformed on the differences between this land and mine,” she said with a pointed look at the Abbot, who at least had the decency to look partly ashamed of himself.

For his part, Uhtred looked back to the bound man, his hands resting on his hips as he addressed the young warrior. “Well boy, the choice is yours. Either me or Princess Rhaenerys,” he asked, Sihtric looking between the two of them as he thought over his decision.

When Sihtric initially put this plan into motion, he did not anticipate that he would have the option to choose. Either way, he would be free from Kjartan and have the chance to lead a better life, one that would make his mother proud. He looked at Lord Uhtred, and in another life, he would’ve sworn to him. But in this one, he couldn’t pass up the chance to serve an actual princess.

“I swear my sword is yours, Princess. On Thor’s hammer, I swear,” he said, gripping the pendant he wore and kneeling in the leaf covered ground. He kept his head down, only barely looking up when he saw her boots come into his view.

”Then you have my protection, Sihtric,” she said, pulling a dagger from her side to cut the ropes binding him. Her touch was gentle, and he found himself blushing at the contact.

”Thank you, Princess, thank you. I swear I am your man from this day, until my last,” Sihtric said gratefully, relief flooding his veins when the rope fell from his wrists and onto the ground. He chanced a look at her face, rubbing the reddened marks on his skin from the bindings.

“Indeed you are,” Rhaenerys had a knowing glint in her violet eyes and a wry smile on her lips as she spoke, making Sihtric feel as though there was some deeper meaning behind her words. He stood and watched her turn, speaking to a dark haired man wearing black armor with a sigil bearing three moons, waxing, full and waning, emblazoned on the chest plate. “Captain Beren, Sihtric is with us now. See to it he is armed and armored properly as a man of my House,” she commended, the man nodding and gesturing for Sihtric to follow him.

Sihtric was quick to follow, only to be stopped by Halig when the other man gave him an unreadable stare.

’So, do you need to shit, or not?” Halig asked him, sounding rather pissed off but Sihtric just laughed it off and followed after Captain Beren, eager to prove himself worthy of Rhaenerys and her generosity.

Tagging: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @gemini-mama @zaldritzosrose @alexagirlie

@legitalicat @thenameswinter99 @viking-chaos

[princess-of-the-corner]

Apparently Astruc went out of his way to make Lila unlovable. Comparison to characters we're meant to sympathize with:

Gabriel started the entire mess because he couldn't try and just ask for help to the guy he knew could help (and this is before using a Miraculous selfishly for months fried his morals and basic decency). He later manipulated two teenage girls, one of which he knew since she was a child, into terrorism, destroyed Hong Kong by accident, and pulled a stunt that brainwashed the President of the United States into firing the nukes (and once the order is given it cannot be countermandered) AND the world's strongest woman into shattering the Moon (and while it's vaguely possible humanity could survive a nuclear exchange, the loss of the Moon would spell the end of all life on Earth).

Tomoe was infertile... So rather than adopt a heir (a rather common occurrence in Japanese society) she borrowed a magical jewel that manipulates one of the concepts that make the universe work to clone herself.

Emilie was also infertile, so she used the above jewel to make a gender-inverted clone of herself, and somehow BROKE said jewel in the process, sentencing herself to a slow death. She then proceeded to be an abusive parent and used her husband as scapegoat, and let her brother in law borrow the jewel to make himself a son (though this could count as a good deed given the jackass).

Colt Phatom had an infertile wife, so rather than adopt he borrowed his sister-in-law magic brooch and made a gender-inverted clone OF HIS WIFE, and was an abusive parent to said clone. I'm feeling ill...

Felix discovered his uncle is a terrorist wielding two jewels that manipulates two concepts that make the universe work... And rather than tell the squadron of superheroes about it, he robbed said superheroes of their magic jewels and traded them for the one that made him and could unmake him (and I'm still surprised Gabriel didn't just Thanos Snap him and steal everything. He then tried to wipe out humanity to protect beings like himself. Though he get something of a justification in that he's a teenager AND raised by Colt Phatom (for all their flaws, Gabriel, Emilie and Tomoe didn't mess their magic children nearly as bad).

Audrey is just plain mean, and so petty she got Akumatized from getting a spot in the second row (I'm willing to forgive Gabriel this one for the sheer hilarity. Plus he had been obviously waiting for years to get avenge all the victims of that bitch).

But the one meant to be unlovable is Lila. Ok.

So like.

This is honestly a point I brought up before, though it was more on a 'why are people more willing to give other characters redemption arcs instead of Lila?'

But yeah for as absolutely fucking awful as these other characters can be, they do have some very basic good traits and someone they care about! Chloé has the toxic af family and genuinely cares about Adrien and Sabrina and her parents. Gabe may be all kinds of fuck, but there was a point in Season 1-3 where we believed he cared about Adrien and he's doing all this because he loves his wife(even if that love is also toxic af). Felix is also a 'he was abused which explains his mindset' and he's shown genuine love for his mother. Tomoe has been shown to care about Kagami, despite everything. Emilie is up in the air but she's presented as loving.

Lila..... has absolutely nothing. Nothing that can be pointed at as some explanation for why she's like this, or proof that there's any hope for her to be 'good'. We don't know her real backstory or what she wants. Every character she's interacted with is just a mark for her cons that she doesn't have any care about, even her 'mothers'.

[nockstormbringer]

BEN Drowned with S/O who is opposite personality to him. Headcanons

Brat || BEN Drowned

Synopsis -> How BEN would be with a significant other, who’s his opposite.

Warnings -> Dark Humour, mentions of death, mentions of ghosts, mentions of hitting, Jeff. Possibly more?? { Let me know if any are founded please 🙏 }

A/n -> I have school in an hour. I hate it.

Word count -> 858

↳ BEN to me is such a silly little guy. He’s a goof ball, he’s annoying. He gives off annoying little brother energy.

↳ So for him to have a Significant Other with an opposite personality, they’d would probably give off oldest sibling energy. Essentially, the responsible one.

↳ Definitely teases. Bro would come up behind his significant other, and either pick them up or jump on their back.

↳ BEN has severe ambivert energy. He LOVES hanging out with people, like Jeff and Sally.

↳ BUT, he also likes his privacy, so, bitches better give him that, or they’ll meet with a terrible fate.

{ Do you get it? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) }

↳ So, honestly, his significant other could go either way!

↳ Anyone else think he’d flirt with them, but they’re really bad pick up lines?

↳ “Hey baby, are you noose? Cause I wanna wear you around my neck.”

↳ Dark humour. Definitely his thing. Makes many, many suicidal jokes. You know the abortion version of “Road Work Ahead?”? Yeah, that’s him.

↳ You have so many damn nicknames, and it’s rare you’ll the same one twice in the same day. Jeff once joked he’d forgotten your name and instead called stupid shit to cover it up.

↳ BEN punched him in the gut.

↳ I just thought of this while cleaning my room, but If you take your phone with you to bathroom, he’s using that as a way to come into the bathroom and talk with you.

↳ BEN would sit on the floor next to you, maybe his face is resting on your thigh, or he’s got his arms wrapped around you, while you do whatever.

↳ Definitely a cuddles. So if his significant other isn’t the biggest fan of touch, he’d be a little sad he can’t touch you whenever.

↳ I can 100% image him just sitting, shaking with energy, and you come up and ask him for a hug, and he just practically explodes.

↳ He needs to put his energy somewhere so why not on you?

↳ BEN would adore you if you were shorter than him. Constantly hugging you from behind, leaning on you, comparing hand sizes, standing on tall thing to be even taller then you than laughing at you calling you short.

↳ But if you’re taller than him, he’s so fucking petty. 😭

↳ He constantly be jumping on you, glaring up at you, stand on things, then laugh at you and call you short.

↳ But no matter your height, he’d ask you about how the weather is doing.

↳ “How’s the weather down there?”

↳ “How’s the weather up there?”

↳ Don’t worry though, no matter your height, you can still shove him ☺️

↳ He’s so short either way, like think between 4’10 and 5’4. As much as BEN hates his height, he uses this to his advantage.

↳ “Hey! 🥺 I’m SO small and tiny, you shouldn’t pick on me. 👉👈I’m just so little, no girls like me, so if you’re gonna leave me, just go then.😔”

↳ He’d also be that cringy but funny guy on TikTok who makes those Omegaverse jokes in videos and comments.

↳ “Baby, I am your alpha! You are my Omega! You will submit to me. Because im the Daddy. 😈”

↳ I reckon he’d enjoy the game Sally Face, so while he’s doing a play through, he’d get you to do silly voices for the characters with him.

↳ BEN would love to do Larry’s voice, while you’d be Sal or Todd. He’s Ash cause he wants to be the hot character.

↳ He doesn’t really get angry, at least not with you. He’d just get sulky, and petty. So if you have a short temper, you’d both supple Dazai and Chuuya energy.

↳ Take a guess who is who :DD

↳ Might be a little inaccurate, cause I’m only up to episode 4 of the first season… 😓 Everything else I’ve seen is TikTok and fanfics 🤠

↳ Honestly, the way you to even met would be odd. So I reckon Sally would have been an influence. Whether you’re an innocent civilian or a murderer 👀

↳ Sally’s a ghost, right? And she hangs out with kids, right? Well, maybe you were babysitting a random kid or a younger sibling, and you had taken them to the park. By chance, Sally and insert child you’re looking after, become friends at park.

↳ It’s basically universally known Sally and BEN are the sibling figures if Creepypasta, so either BEN is there or he listens to Sally talk about you two constantly.

↳ Eventually, you two meet and blah blah blah, DATING. 😈

↳ At night, when it’s time to sleep, whether he does or doesn’t, he NEEDS to be touching you. He’ll whine otherwise.

↳ He would cry if you pushed his leg off of you. He’d wake you up and ask if you even love him anymore? 💔

↳ Just slap him upside the head and tell him to go to sleep. Bro would just sit there for five minutes and be hella confused.

↳ If you happen to be a guy, anytime you two would kiss, he would tell you that’s gay. Knowing him, he’d probably still do this if you’re a girl. 💀

↳ BENs so silly ☺️

↳ Oh my god, if your not giving him attention, he’d lick your face to get it. 💀

↳ Basically, BENs a brat, he’d love you either way, finds it fun to tease you! 🤠

thank you!! ♡

[mycupofteafanzine]

My Cup of Tea contributor announcement: part 2!

We are excited to share our list of writers and cosplayers in the zine! You can also find our artists here. See below the cut for links to their socials and their answers to the question: Why do you love Martin?

Writers

milkteamoon | tumblr Ao3

I really love how contradictorily human he is! He's a little guy. He's kind of a bitch. He wants so badly to be the sensitive artist type and yet will encourage murder against those whom he perceives to have wronged him at the drop of a hat. He's incredibly kissable and should be kissed by anyone and everyone, I think, for his health.

crescenttwins | tumblr carrd

Martin is this lovely exploration of a person who is deeply affected by trauma but still ends up able to be kind at the end of it.

Morning Softness | tumblr

He’s just such a great complex character. He does his absolute best in a job he’s not at all qualified for, determined to go above and beyond so no one will complain about his work ethic, even when the demands placed on him are ridiculous or dangerous. He’s anxious but he’s also brave and stubborn. He’s jealous and bitter and petty and sarcastic. He’s kind and optimistic and gentle. He’s a poet. He’s incredibly practical, and is better at showing care to others through his actions than his words. He holds onto guilt because he’s convinced it helps him do better. He tries so hard to be needed because he thinks it’s the only way anyone would want him, and he feels like it would be manipulative of him to expect or even want anything in return. He makes an effort to care about others and help in any way he can, even though it is an effort, even when it isn’t returned.

Pine | tumblr

In "Big Picture," Martin says to Simon Fairchild "I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever." I think it may be the most hopeful statement in TMA (not that it has a great deal of competition!), and I thought about it a lot while season five was airing. (And I love, too, how Martin may have been a hypocrite about it, unwilling to let the universe disappear.)

Saint | tumblr Ao3

Golly gee what a question. I guess the biggest thing is I love how full of seemingly diametrically-opposed contradictions he is: his genuine sweetness and kindness vs his very serious desire to see the violent death of people he's perceived to have wronged him, his dorky poetry vs the fact that he's the kind of person to use the word "ontological" in casual conversation, his capacity for love and compassion vs his proclivity for isolation. Also he has the best voice.

Cosplayers

Shashamisen | tiktok

He hit me as the most human-like character to me. Blame it on the beautiful voice acting or the discreet complexity of how his character was written, but I started loving him for how much I related, and stayed for the cutest awkward love I've ever seen.

Bow | insta tiktok

The obvious reason is that I see so much of my current, but especially younger, self in him, but I also love him because to me, he is the character in TMA who goes through the most growth and comes into himself. I love seeing his journey of self discovery and emotional strength.

Kaedan | tiktok

He became a comfort character immediately. His patience, his sweet nature, the way he stutters when he's flustered (just like me,) it all felt like a cool breeze in the fire that is the horror that is TMA. His life and traumas mirror my own, and the way he comes out of it with kindness and an unexpected fierceness is amazing to me. The way he underhanded Elias AND Peter impresses me constantly.

Alex | tumblr tiktok

He is my husband and I adore him.

Slush/Hailey | insta tiktok tumblr twitter

To me, he is the heart of The Magnus Archives! Martin is always showing his most human side to those around him and never lets the horrors around him stop him from being a good person. Like so many on this zine, I see a lot of myself in Martin Blackwood. There's so much of myself I see in him, yet there's so much more I want to be. He's kind and thoughtful. He's soft, but he finds his courage and shows that he can be quite tenacious and clever! He's constantly underestimated, especially by himself, but shows them up with confidence and sass. He doesn't let the horrible things that have happened to him make him hard and is never afraid of being his true self. I also find our relationships with the Lonely incredibly similar. Essentially, it's been quite a long time since I've found a character that is so much like myself, and gives me hope that I can also make the same changes in my life as him to grow and become a better person. Hopefully that doesn't include being stalked by a worm lady.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

I know that Jamie/Colin isn't the focus of this blog, but I really liked your "Locker Room Conversations" ficlet, and I was wondering if you had any headcanons/thoughts on how, in an alternate universe, a Jamie/Colin might shake out.

Well, to be honest I’ve never really thought about it too much since I don’t particularly ship Jamie/Colin, but let’s see what I can scrounge up for you, ey?

The one actual headcanon I do have:

Colin had a bit of a crush on Jamie back when Jamie first joined the team, and Jamie knew about it but never said anything. I entertain this notion at least half-seriously because I find it’s very entertaining to think about Jamie knowing and not really reflecting much on it, other than to go “uh yeah of course he has a crush on me who can blame him i mean have you seen me?”

Pre-canon angst

If you want something early and angsty and potentially canon-compliant, you could have the two of them hooking up before Jamie and Keeley get together (we have no idea when that was, but I think it was after Jamie joined Richmond purely for logistical reasons – hassle keeping a London girlfriend when you live in Manchester),. For Jamie it’s mostly about getting off and feeling a bit better about himself (both from making Colin feel good sexually and from Colin being a bit of a fanboy, giving his ego a boost) because Jamie’s not in a great place at this time. For Colin, there’s also feelings, so yes. Angst. Could end on that unhappy note, or you could go full AU and have Jamie slowly realizing that actually, he cares for Colin. (SHOCKER!) Obviously you’d need a turning point of Colin taking a stand and breaking things off with Jamie because he doesn’t want to be used like this anymore. He is a strong and capable man who deserves better! Cue Jamie having to prove his genuine affection and woe Colin back. Very classic rom-com vibe, and thus not my style at all, but I’m trying to give offer you a variety of flavour here.

Season 2 Enemies to lovers

In an another world, I think there’s a lot of potential for something set early during season 2, when Jamie first returns to Richmond. As mentioned in my recent post, I’m very intrigued by Colin’s reaction to this and how they go from him being very angry with Jamie to loving him so much, man. Besides, enemies to lovers is my one true ship trope, so I might even read this if I ever came across it.

Vanilla version: Colin is working hard to convince himself that he’s a strong and capable man, and he doesn’t need Jamie Tartt reminding him – simply by being around – of the person he used to be only a year before. Jamie is hellbent on repairing their friendship, though, and while initially Colin finds some measure of petty satisfaction at seeing Jamie’s bumbling attempts at making amends, he’s little by little and in spite of himself won over. I can see Jamie persistently taking him out on friend dates and Colin first agreeing only because he kind of enjoys torturing Jamie a little by being an ass, but Jamie is undettered and then they start having a really good time together and in therapy Colin comes to realize that part of his anger with Jamie is really anger with his own past behaviour – and maybe some shame over having had a crush on someone who was such an asshole. Over time, soft and mushy feelings develop. There are lots of hand-holding and cuddling and watching reality shows and bitching about the contestants together. They go on really stupid fucking adventures and love clubbing and once they come out to the team they are really kind of insufferable because their joint himbo energy is a threat to all of mankind, but they are so fucking adorable it’s hard to be mad (except for when they bring their bitchiest selves and team up to bring it down on everyone else, epic sassy style).

Dark/angsty/kinky version: Jamie is doing his best to make things right with the team, but Colin’s still not having it and in the end Jamie (remembering the crush Colin once had on him) offers sex as a way to make amends/prove how sincere he is. Colin can’t resist taking him up on the offer because even if he’s long over his crush the idea of Jamie kneeling in front of him, of Colin’s fist twisting in Jamie’s hair as he fucks his mouth, of Colin using Jamie however he sees fit and Jamie letting him… That does things for Colin, particularly when he’s in this vengeful state, yeah? Can end on a dark note, if that’s your jam, or end with some sweet comfort, aftercare and reconciliation.

Cracky post-canon poly shenanigans

Keeley is dating both Roy and Jamie, and while Jamie and Roy are not dating each other there’s this tension between them and yeah, maybe they wanna give this whole also sleeping with each other thing a go, except neither of them has ever done anything with another man before and so they’re a bit unsure about how to proceed and things keep Not Happening. (In this universe, Keeleys staunchly refuses to guide them, no matter how hot she’d find it, because she’s very much and rightly on the let Roy and Jamie sort Roy and Jamie out track.)

Jamie, glorious solution oriented himbo that he is, goes to Colin for some pointers on how to be gay, mate and after Colin stops staring inredulously at him he shrugs and gives him some general hints, the more gay love the better right, only Jamie soon comes back for a more hands-on tuition session because no, i tried, mate, but i just couldn’t figure it out, could you maybe show me instead? and Colin is a good friend (who once had a crush on Jamie), so yeah, that happens.

Keeps happening too, because everything Colin is teaching Jamie is working great and Roy and Jamie are very much getting it on and having a grand old time – but to no reader’s great surprise, there’s also some feelings starting to grow between Sassy Himbo No. 1 and Sassy Himbo No. 2. and in the end Jamie is not only dating Keeley and Roy but Colin too!

Colin only dates Jamie, though – the very idea of being involved with Keeley, a woman, or Roy, a Roy, is slightly nauseating and somewhat scary to him. There are no joint dates, no dinners for all four of them. Isaac is a little perplexed and initially concerned over the whole set-up but he sees how happy it makes his best friend so he rolls with it, even if he does end up having a talk with Roy about how he needs to make an effort to not look angry when Jamie and Colin go off together after training. I’m not angry, that’s just my face, Roy protests. Yeah, Isaac agrees, I know, bruv, but it’s freaking Colin out a little so maybe make an effort to not look like yourself, yeah? So the next time, Roy tries for a smile and Colin has trouble sleeping that night.

(For an extra helping of crack if Jamie/everyone is your thing: When the rest of the team learns of this, a few of the lads complain that it’s not fair that Keeley and Roy and Colin all get to have Jamie as their boyfriend when they don’t, but Jamie quickly assures them that he can be their boyfriend too! [Right… ? with sideway glances at Roy and Colin who just nod.] There’s plenty of Jamie to go around! Except he’s kind of busy with the partners he’s already got so maybe they need a scheduele and it’ll mostly be odd dates, but yeah, everyone who wants to can sign up for the Jamie Tartt Boyfriend Experience and in the end one fourth of the team is dating Jamie in some shape or form.)

That’s what I got for now. I hope at least one of them tickled your fancy, even if I strayed into OT3+ territory there for a bit...

[murderbirds]

Ok, so, interesting dream that I had last night. My dream took place in season 3 of Gotham and it followed this kid, the kid was not anywhere in the actual show. He was a few older than Martin though. I have no clue where I my mind conjured him from, but anyway, this kid is staying at Oswald's house, I think he is the son of one of his employees? So Oswald offers to pay him if he can keep an eye on Isabella and tell him if she does anything suspicious because Oswald had a suspicion that she was not who she claimed to be, so the kid followed Isabella around for a while until Isabella tricks him and quite literally captures the boy and ties him up before stuffing him into a locker so she can deal with him later. The boy panicks but luckily Oswald can track him through the phone they had been using to speak, so he frees the kid who apologizes for being found. Oswald assures him that it is ok, he found all that he needs.

So, the next scene has Isabella in a copper bathtub (in Oswald's mansion, she is living with them in this dream and has essentially quit her job to become Ed's housewife, but the house that they live in is still Oswald's) and Isabella is drinking champagne and watching a movie since she has a television in the bathroom when Oswald walks in using the master key. She asks if Oswald has no respect to walk in his best friend's fiance while she is nude like that and he tells her he knows what she was going to do to the boy. She mocks him and asks if he was the one who put him up to it before claiming that 'Edward will sure love to hear what his best friend has been up to.' Oswald assures her that he will never find out and then pushes the television inside the tub, killing Isabella eletrocuted while laughing maniacally.

When Ed arrives, they tell him it was an accident, that the television must have fallen inside the tub. Ed is, of course, inconsolable, though Oswald tries very, very hard to console him, from wearing a lot more displaying outfits than he normally does to straight up asking Ed on dates just the two of them but Ed refuses. He is both too sad and too oblivious to understand. Everyone else is happy that Isabella is gone, however. She was a bitch in this version, not just to Oswald but literally everyone that wasn't Ed, and even Ed was not treated that great, but only when he disagreed from her. I'm talking Heather Chandler levels of bitch. She was a very fun to hate kind of character and the more she was around the more it was clear that she didn't have any deeper meaning for what she was doing, she was just kind of a gold digger who knew Ed lived with the mayor who was very much rich and fed off of their relationship. Oswald, paranoid as he is, had all these theories much like the fandom had that she was a clone sent by the court of owls or kristen's long lost twin sister, but no. She just happened to look like this guy's dead girlfriend that she saw in the newspaper once and decided to make the best out of the situation thinking that, if she played her cards right, Ed would keep her safe. She was just kind of a petty bitch and I kinda really loved her for it.

I remember that, while watching this I though, man, why did I hate this? This is really fun and campy, it is literally all that I love about Gotham. Why do people dislike Isabella as a character so much? Just because she is a mean bitch? She is the fun type of mean bitch.

But then I woke up and I'm like 'oh, right.' She wasn't a mean bitch in the show. They didn't even give her that much. And her death was literally the most convoluted weird bullshit ever that just wasn't fun at all. Like, in my dream she is quite literally killed by her greed as she is killed both by the man whose money she is using and a television that was by all purposes a safety hazard. She was a complete idiot and her death reflects that.

Her death in the show is just uninspired.

[all-pacas]

So in my semi-secret HIMYM rewatch — I've been watching on weekends with a friend — we just hit 'The Rough Patch," ie, the first Barney and Robin breakup.

And first of all: S5 absolutely is weird and my conspiracy theory about it being when the finale was written 100% holds, it all makes so much sense.

But second: it is a really bad episode. Not because of any shipping reason. It's just… a mess. Unfunny. Even scenes that ought to be funny, like Lily, Ted, and Marshall in the car, somehow don't work. The B/R breakup is also bad, as it has nothing to do with any episodes before or after. It really feels like the writers went "oh, time to break them up!" and just… did it. It's hard to explain if you haven't watched (which I'm assuming most folks on my dash have not). This couple has a season of lead up to them dating, with their relationship being the main plot of the 4th season. They spend the first few episodes of season 5 dating, and while they don't particularly give off vibes of being madly in love so much as super horny, they seem happy enough to be horny together. And then all at once there's fat suits involved, and they're miserable together, and they break up because "two awesomes cancel eachother out." The episode practically lampshades it: they're so similar, they seem perfect for one another. Buuuut time to break up.

So, if I was to rewrite that episode — with the goal of them breaking up in the end — here is what I would do:

At the end of the previous episode, Barney and Robin are fighting. They break up then, in a messy and impulsive way. "I guess we should just break up then!" "Fine!" "Fine!"

At the start of Rough Patch, narrator Ted explains it's been a couple of weeks. And… Barney and Robin are avoiding one another. More than that, they are practically running from the room when the other is present, loudly declaring they are FINE, dragging the gang in, making everyone pick sides. The others are all worried and, just as importantly, super annoyed. Ted and Marshall think that the two probably love one another and just need to talk it out; Lily points out that Barney and Robin are the most stubborn and petty people on the planet, and that's not easy. But she agrees it's necessary.

Most of the episode is the trio trying to scheme to get Barney and Robin together. There's surprise parties, Robin is brought to GNB on flimsy pretexts, the gang tries to arrange a meet up at laser tag — somehow, impossibly, Barney and Robin simply always escape or avoid getting caught. Lily finally comes up with an elaborate and foolproof scheme to get them in a room together… they are locked in a room together… and when Lily peeks in on them… they're gone!

The next day at the bar, Lily, Marshall, and Ted have given up. They mourn the end of the Gang, and discuss custody arrangements. Lily says this is all Ted's fault for blurring the "dating in the friend group" line to start with. Barney and Robin walk in together. Marshall is excited: did they talk it out? And then bang it out? No, Robin says, we really did break up.

Cut to: Barney and Robin, a few days ago. They realize almost right away what the gang is doing, and this annoys them enough that they work together to avoid being forced into a room together. We see them exchanging texts and phone calls warning one another, etc.

When Lily gets them in a room together, they escape out the window and end up on the roof. They start giggling and congratulating one another on their cleverness before sobering. Robin admits that she's missed this. Having stupid fun with Barney. Barney nods. They were really good friends, weren't they? It sucks that they broke up and have to be enemies now.

After a moment of silence, Robin says, maybe they can still be friends. Go back to being friends, like they were. Even though they broke up in a stupid fight, at the time she hated him. (Barney interjects: he thought she was a huuuuge bitch). But this scheming has been fun.

They agree they're much better as friends, and it's worth breaking up in order to save their overall relationship. They have a nice hug.

Back in the bar, they explain they really did break up, and it's for the best, since it means they can now go back to being friends and totally awesome. They both seem okay with it. As the episode ends, Robin has to go to work, and Barney checks out some girl at the bar.

[blahpanblah]

Okay If I’m being honest, Hazbin has made me pretty much lock it away from ever giving it anything higher than a 6/10 (For meaning “this overall is fine but I'll never rewatch it) And I feel a lot bad for it because I'm honestly less mean to it the Helluva. Because my biggest criticism of both shows is that they go WAY too fast. And that is really bad if you are a character progression show.

But I give Hazbin less shit for this because it is a LGBT+, animated show on a streaming service. They had reasons to believe the show wasn't going to get a second season. It is of course, but when working on the episodes they had no reason to believe that. They don't choose how many episodes they are given. They were only given eight episodes. That is an unfortunate amount of episodes too, even if you did do it at the right pace, you would have to pray it doesn't get canceled. So that's less of a fault on the show and more just the fault of streaming services nowadays and that just makes me sad.

This is more of a fault with Helluva because, please correct me with proof if I'm wrong, but there is ZERO reasons why they don't have time for at least ONE more episode. I know working on an animated show takes time I'm not downplaying that. But I CANNOT stress this enough. If you are a character progression show, don't skim over the progression. My biggest problem with stolitz is that it feels rushed to the point it is now. It would’ve been better if the two had ONE episode together. IDK maybe their working on a I.M.P mission together they bond. And with that, you can make Blitz’s feelings for him not come out of nowhere. Because it just shows UP in D.H.O.R.K.S.

And honestly do think I might like the Hazbin better. I'm not at the point where I hate a character that’s a good sign for me. Charlie is good, Husk is good, Angel and Vaggie are good. Pentious is great, Niffty is great. And fucking hottake after watching episode five. I think Alastor is my favorite character, I like him being a petty little bitch. Only being asshole to Lucifer by passive aggressively becoming Charlie’s father figure in only night because he’s a bitch. he’s horrible. He’s great.

Honestly the only way I'll love him by the end of the show fully. Is if he is just the main antagonist by the end. Let this petty fucker be the villain it would be awesome.

(I lied I hate Carmine as a character. Hey writers! Don’t reavel the culprit to a mystery after we just introduced that same character and then make them sing a power ballad over it so we can feel bad for them even though we just met them. Let us at least know the character for an episode before doing that.)

Last thing I saw someone say this and I need to let out a some facts. For those who say they changed Vaggie’s backstory last minute. Let me remind you that the pilot came out FOUR YEARS AGO. Things changed. Your OC’s aren't always gonna stay the same in the span of four years. I'm sure there are DOZENS of things in Hazbin that was changed for the original plan four years ago. And that's not a bad thing. Remember in the Steven Universe Pilot where they hinted Amethyst and Steven might be a couple, that shit ain'tn nowhere in the final show. The Pilot and the final show are different things. Things are not always gonna remain the same and that's fine.

(ALTHOUGH I DO HATE THAT HAZBIN FUCKING HOPES YOU WATCHED PILOT TO UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTERS MORE VIZIE I KNOW ALOT A PEOPLE DID BUT NEVER ASSUMEED EVERYONE WATCHED THE PILOT TO UNDERSTAND THE SHOW Y’ALL COULD’VE JUST REMADE THE PILOT EPISODE IF YOU FELT LIKE YOU NEEDED TO)

[redhairedgirl95]

Hurray second chapter is outtt!!!, our girl stella is about to sufferrrr, cassandra is a vicious bitch and valtor is a master manipulator, your writing is so good it almost made me empathise for chimera ~almost~ I mean I have to recognise that she is the product of her mother's education even though that does not excuse her actions one bit. I didn't think you would actually give luna a lover oooof radius is furious (I didn't mean for it to rime but oh well), I know that luna has a boyfriend in the winx comics anyway the fact that cassandra can't seduce radius without valtor's help truly shows how pathetic she is but is radius fully under valtor's spell at this point or is some part of him engaging in this affair out of pure pettiness in order to get back at luna because I can see him do that.

Stella's excitement for her princess ball breaks my heart! speaking of the ball I am happy to see luna actually suck it up and attend the ball, showing that despite it all she is a good mother who still prioritises her daughter's happiness, I wonder how she will react to the public announcement of the engagement as well as seeing her daughter get turned into monster, I especially wonder how she will react seeing radius order the guards to chase and kill stella. I think cassandra is going to try to arrest luna, put her in jail or something in order to make sure that she doesn't undermine her plans of taking over the kingdom. On another note, how has life been treating you recently? I'm back at school which is really tiring and also the reason why I took so long to read this new chapter anyways I can't wait to see what you have in store next and I wish you the best byeee✨️

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Season 3 = let's make Stella suffer! why not?

ahahha, no empathy for Chimera. She may have been raised by a b1tch mother, but she's a b1tch herself u.u

Radius is 99% under her spell! He's so petty he would totally get involved with someone just to make sure Luna was jealous too, but his first choice wouldn't have been Cassandra. Still ... he fell first and harder for Luna, he'll never forget her <3

all the answers will come next chapter! AND THERE WILL BE A LOT OF SUFFERING :3

Life has been pretty good, actually. thank you for asking <3

I started teaching in a new school yesterday and THE KIDS (well, teens) ARE AMAZING! I still have to meet a couple of classes, but the two I've known are THE BEST. I got sooooo lucky!

Fingers crossed that it lasts <3

love youuuu! talk soon <3 <3 <3

[galpalo]

No I’m not late, just took a break because school is currently busying my schedule.

if I could fit every screenshot here I would. But the limit. J my girl,,

ALRIGHT, finale episode huh? Yeah I’m not okay either

Ah good ol’ teacher with no canonical name (maybe, the fandom creates a new name for him every season) dudes so done with life he doesn’t care if the world is ending, I wonder if they extended the episode he might’ve had a much bigger role? Like he knew nori and khan before. Would’ve loved to see more of Alice,,

UGHHHHFGHEHDHD DAUGHTER MOTHER MOMENT. FINALLY. THE MOMENT WHEN “solver control me again?” “If you a little bitch” AND ITS SEEN AS PARENTAL ADVISORY. THEM.

he got more assertive with his emotions guys. He told her he was still mad about her whole “self sacrifice” thing back at ep 7. It’s so small yet so much. Guys. Development.

Ah. At least the solver was nice enough to send a message. The inaudible frustration afterwards was funny though-

This. Uzi literally admits being nervous over it because she can’t read the signs well because of how lonesome and isolated she was from her peers (my analysis, I suggest seeing a video or blog that talks deeper into her personality) and N saying that “that was the plan, yeah—“ UGHHSHWUSHUWSHJA

I’m. Gonna screa.m they mean so much to me chat.

The fact N literally gave her a drawing that said “I O U 1 SPACESHIP” is so damn adorable and her IRRITATION with it!! love it. I’m going to talk about this moment so keep it in mind real quick.

Can we appreciate the fact they applied the whole “gravity” space logic into this?? Even when uzi tried to talk with her mom earlier? I love when shows/games do this, hello Lizzy and Thad hope y’all like your time in the near-apocalypse. sorry you guys had to experience it 😭

“I’m fine! And CALM. and GO AWAY.” doesn’t seem calm to me J, lizzy rolling her eyes while Thad is concerned over their fate at that scene. PLEASE. Lizzys beef with that sentinel is like your two friends fighting on a daily basis for petty funsies.

JAW DROPPED. THE MUSIC WAS LITERALLY SO COOL WHEN THE BEAT DROPPED. AND SHES FUCKING BACK???!

YEAH NOT THE TIME TO GO “um actually” J. BUT PLEASE. PLEASE. WE ALL THOUGHT J DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CYN. BUT GUYS. SHE WAS. AND V IS FURIOUS. PLEASE STICK WITH ME THROUGH THIS.

Back at the camp episode, when V said “we do our jobs” it was what J told them all along. “And it leaves us alone/and that thing leaves us alone!” so the solver tricked them into thinking that once their job is over they’ll be left alone, remember when Uzi in the pilot told N that when the disassembly drones job was over that the “humans” would throw discard them? Yeah. Also am I the only one who thinks when J told her to “grow up” it’s like “grow up from the hopes of returning home/to the mansion and the solver leaving us alone”??

AND YOU WERE AWARE OF IT SIS? WERE YOU TRYING TO PROTECT THEM IN YOUR OWJ WAY? but seriously, while we did hate J in the pilot, when you think about it (far fetched but stick with me here) she was being mean and hard on them so they get the job done. So the solver would leave them be. Guys.

so remember how she and Tessa were super close? Yeah? Yeah it probably hurt her yeah. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I.m fine. Vs look of confused concern is no problem. Yeah.

See what I mean. It tortured J off screen. TAUNTED HER even. She even LOOKS upset by it. She wants PEACE. And she’s coping by calling the solver BOSS, THE NAME SHE CALLED TESSA BAKC AT THE MA.NSION.

“I never needed either of you.” leave my girl ALONE.

SCREAMS???THE STRESS IN THIS SCENE?!

fun fact: in the Russian dub when the solver says “you won’t talk to me because I have hurt you feelings.” It instead says “after all, I’ve been alive…” guys. Theorist. Do your thing. Right now my mind is scattered brothers. The same thing happens in the Spanish dub when the solver says “hi N!” It says it in Tessa voice. Guys. It’s taunting them.

And Vs apology before the solver literally IMPALES N. I’m gonna cry. She wasn’t aware the solver literally KILLED Tessa “Tessa is cyn!”

Hello? This moment that I see no one talking about?? Appalling. Maid Vs corpse?? So this is a flashback to episode 5 “home”, to where I assume the massacre already happened and this is when the solver (who canonically was said to have taken cyn as a HOST. confirmed by “Tessa”.) and while this might sound bizarre, is in the process of modeling the drones to disassembly ones??? Guys?? The fear and confusion in the mans eyes? He saw his former crush dead body and his supposed friend tear them both apart?? I pray for a season 2.

[rocketrouquine]

And here we go Episode 3, second viewing :

The little squeaking wheels as Stede is following with the towels, fuck me.

Sergent Maaka, you don’t recognize Anton? Shame on you. (Also John bartholomew is a real pirate, right *goes to check* « Bartholomew Roberts, de son vrai nom John Roberts » okay, no)

Queen, this is how I aspire to talk to some of my male collegues. I have the passive agression irony nailed down but the gorgeous pettiness ? gurrrrl you got it locked ! And then they are eating in the palm of their hand

aaaww forget it… it’s sillyyy GIRL I’ve done it so many times, stop it.

So a …Talk it through or die situation ?

« The revenge ? » « our ship. » « ED » And this is the moment I lost all dignity on my first viewing.

I was actually jumping like Stede in the water like there was a fucking trampoline in my shoes.

Do you remember the pilot episode when he struggled going down on a rope held by his crew ? Now, he’s climbing all by himself from the fucking sea ! GROWTH.

I heard your sneaky little notes, Gnossienne, don’t triffle me !

Ahahahaha ! When the guy responsible for the zombie apocalypse shows up back from his vacation. These poor birds though… Buttons would be most displeased. (Imagine if it was Olivia… I would slaughter everyone)

The « oh shit. This ? is this Stede?! » is so precious to me as a film maker/technician because in almost everything I watch, these basic human and normal reactions when people get caught up with information are never shown and it takes me out of it because suddenly, I see actors playing their lines. Here, I believe it. (Even if it’s just played for laugh and to press the fact that Stede is in fact NOT what you would think about, if your pirate life had been ruined by him leaving fucking legend Blackbeard)

Why can I get a straight answer from any of you ? I see what you did there, David.

And here he is : bitch Bonnet right on cue every time Izzy is around. I love him.

Thank you Zheng Yi Sao to confirm what I suspected with leather and sea weather : BO.

Apart from the cold blue sky, this is the same beach where Steard bested Izzy and rolled around in the sea with smouldering Ed. I had theorized that this was a fever dream/coma, sooooo very happy about it.

Am I your hostage ? Wow. This rings a lot different when you know who « just Ben » (just Ed ) is.

On my first viewing, when auntie goes all Will Graham *this is my design* I was sure someone had snitched to her and she was playing them. Obviously nobody did so she really guessed everything. Sooooo is Buttons really a sea witch, anyone ?

« You’re kinda the best friend… » I screamed FRIENDZONED but now I don’t know… a polycule or throuple could work, it’s just not what they set last season and it kinda shows (feels forced if what I mean)

Aaaaaand HERE YOU ARE GNOSSIÈNE ! With the 50 knives and shit… (go to the auxiliary closet I want to see if all the fan fictions were right)

I don’t mind actually. I think the knives really help bring the place together Stede, your metaphor is showing.

I know you think you understand him…. *Stede proceeds to say exactly what happened.* Open your eyes, Izzy. You’re not the one understanding him.

Ahahah his crutch is a mop. Sorry, not funny. (Kind of funny)

Maybe I’m an horrible person but if I was Stede, I would be kind of be flattered/proud that my boyfriend (shipmate) would go that insane by me leaving.

When Izzy tells him that it’s both their fault, all that follows is such a different vibe. There is fucking respect and equality in the dialogue. You can almost sense a captain and his first mate talking, devising a plan. Who would have thought ? (It’s a joke, a lot of people)

Who’s the pig ? Who does the fucking pig represent ? I need to know.

Move on. Blow your brains out. Make some soup. Ok.

Girl, how are you ? you are insane, writers. I worship you.

Edward Teach | Jeff / Reader, AU, Inn, confort, angst, TW multiple killing

I loooooooove Taika in this scene. All playful playing with his little accessories and stuff. Keeping his cool and being like okay why are you being a dick, play the game correctly please. Don’t worry baby girl, Stede is excellent with people. No client will end up dead. (I think)

Holy shit, Stede was the only one he ever told about his father. Not even Izzy. Wow.

Come on Bonnet give me your worst. The silent devastation in both of them. The feeling of waste. Uh I can’t. And then he helps them escape and take back the revenge and being an excellent resourceful captain and they are following him like a real crew (now I know that it’s going to be Ed who can’t move, getting better and Stede being the captain…) AAARRRHH FUUUUCK and then he, he… oh shit, here we are, it’s coming, this fucking scene…

But before :

Intercourse. Orgasms. A lot of them. You thought of him. You gonna fuuuuuck.

Boatmance (the queen is not up for a polycule, if you were wondering)

The immediate joy of everyone around Stede making the escape. He’s the best. I’ll fight everyone to the death. (And look at him making his little knots like it was nothing. Honestly I don’t think Izzy has that much to learn to him.)

Am I the only one hearing « JULIEEEEEEETTAAAAA !? » with this music ? No, only me ? Okay. (Mind you, I was 12 when Romeo+Juliet was released, it’s kind of imprinted in me like the trigger words in the winter soldier)

I fucking knew Olu would move his feet like a little school girl/boy, I SAID IT ! You just have to scroll up. (I was so sure Jim would be the one surprising them but it’s a better show than that)

* Zheng Yi Sao sees Olu waving.* Girl, how are you ?

Stede crying his lost love after having fixed some mistakes with gusto and a smile. What is it in my eyes ? Is there some fucking dust in the air or what ? (They are already cleaning the ship in the background)

HornigoldEd is doing a fine impression of calico Jack if I dare say.

Ed doesn’t want to die, I repeat. He had made a choice to live. It’s just that some other part of himself thought he was too far gone. And that’s where Stede saved him. But he was gonna live for himself also… next week is going to be glorious.

*Kate Bush in the distance* oh no.

*Sobs uncontrollably*

I started to laugh through my tears because it’s fucking Rhys Darby swimming with a glittery goldfish attire and chest hair glowing in the sun. But then… The profile of the both of them. Their smile. Taika’s lean into Rhys’s space -> and yes I said Taika because you mothaf*ckas KNOW that it was an impro like the foot touch. (On third viewing, Rhys is leaning first very subtly and then Taika GOES FOR IT)

And then the hand. The gasp and laugh.

Time of death : 02:32 am, Paris, France.

Ps : the black cravat is back on (we didn’t see it before) when Ed goes into the storm, it’s off when he’s in the gravy basket, it’s on when Stede makes him come back to life.

[skitskatdacat63]

I say this lovingly, WITH LOVE, bc I love Lewis, but RB dominance early 2010's Lewis was a brat and a petty bitch, he only ever even really touched Jenson in those post quali pics if he was in the middle, boy did not like being 2nd or 3rd and there's 3 years of pics to prove it lol

which makes those specific pictures you posted look even FUNNIER because Seb and Jenson always had fucking heart eyes at each other

you're bang on with Mark though, man had the most irritating little shit as a teammate and often was relegated to 🧍‍♂️ on the end unless he caught Jenson's heart eyes first

Omgggggg yes!! Every once in a while I'm reminded again of Lewis's McLaren era Twitter drama and I have to go look at them again. Though I've been watching Tooned lately so I'm so used to their more friendly competition buddy-buddy relationship in that, and I'm looking at all these pics like "oh wait yeah a bit of tension!"

I think its very interesting to look back on these, bcs nowadays people will get on drivers asses so much if they don't look happy for their teammate beating them(i.e. the beginning of this season with Max and Checo, everyone would start some shit about how Max looks upset and how he can't even bear to pretend to be happy.) I look at this like, wow you would not like the older eras then! Not that I was personally there but looking back at certain teammates. It's so funny with teammates pairings like Slagclaren and Martian. Just straight up ignoring each other or looking openly pissed(I think about Seb Hungary 2010 so much.)

The language of touch is such an interesting thing when looking at these pics when they're all standing together? As I said, Jense almost always has his arm curled around Seb's shoulders and Seb's leaning into him. Whereas whoever else is with them(for podiums as well), mostly just has the accustomary one hand behind whoevers in the middle's back. You can almost always tell just at a glance who's happy and who's unhappy with the results just by how close they're standing and how touchy. And Seb and Jense are always happy for each other 🥺🥺🥺

Anyways, that's why I like 2011, because it's RBR and McLaren together at the top, with other teams occasionally getting up there. And it's two teammate partnerships where they're bitchy and salty with each other, but then Jense and Seb who are literally married rivals, so their teammates are forced to be the awkward third wheel. But omg I love the ones where it's Seb and Jense standing like a married couple and Lewis just standing however far apart he can without not being out of the pic:

But the Hungary one in particular is still sending me 😭

HE'S SO DONE WITH THEM!!!!

Also also, so true what you said about Mark catching Jense's eyes first! You made me think of this pic:

[grcndiose]

[ luke pasqualino, he/him , cismale ] — was that ALONZO DE LUCA? the TWENTY EIGHT year old is a HIRE ARM / BODYGUARD, how exciting to see them this season! rumors have it they are COURAGEOUS and JOCULAR, but i’ve heard they are SELF-SERVING and MERCILESS as well — maybe that’s why they’ve been called the OPPORTUNIST . I have even heard that HE USED TO BE IN A NOTORIOUS GANG OF MERCENARIES  —only time will tell.

THREADS | MIRROR | MUSINGS | WC | PINTEREST

gonna try to keep it somewhat short for my sake lol refer to the bottom for a summary <3

🗡️ BASICS 

nicknames  — lonnie, onzo

mbti  — istp

zodiac — aries 

sexuality — pansexual

d.o.b  — april 3rd 

p.o.b  — some whorehouse in italy

🗡️ FAMILY

father : unknown  

mother : giana de luca ( deceased )  

siblings : domenico de luca ( younger brother  // deceased ),  allegra de luca ( younger sister )

🗡️ STORY

its not often that someone grows up and chooses to become a mercenary. that line of work tends to come from having no other option at all and for alonzo that was very much the case. his mother was a sex worker, father was absent. that didn’t leave alonzo or his siblings with many options for their future. 

he wasn’t smart enough to become a scholar, wasn’t noble enough to become a soldier, wasn’t talented enough to become a creative. the one thing that alonzo was good at… was fighting. 

taught himself, actually. from fists to sticks to actual blades. that’s the thing about not having a fancy tutor – all the skills he gained came from real-life or death situations.

he and his brother were in their teens when they left home, off to find less-than-desirable ways to make money. that’s where his rumor comes in. 

alonzo made his way to britain for a fresh start a few years ago. the only contact he has is his sister. thankfully she was the one de luca sibling to have any actual brains, so instead of committing to a hard life of crime and murder with her siblings she decided to use her pretty looks to marry a wealthy merchant. alonzo and allegra still communicate via letters.

🗡️ RUMOR HAS IT

anyone looking for intel on him would come to find out just how dirty his past is. that mercenary group he ran with did everything from mugging to assassinations. he only quit that lifestyle when his younger brother got caught up in a complication and ended up losing his life because of it.

🗡️ PERSONALITY

a smug son of a bitch — knows that he’s good at what he does. and he’s pretty? how could he not have an ego lol.

not a man of honor and he doesn’t pretend to be. what alonzo lacks in manners he more than makes up in prowess. actions speak louder than words.

that doesn't mean he isn't able to talk his way out of situations if need be. now that he's working with upper society instead of against them, alonzo knows the importance of being 'agreeable' enough

doesn’t believe in doing things out of the kindness of his heart. always has to have some sort of motive, the most common one being money lol. want to order him around? you better throw some coins his way.

he isn’t the type to go out of his way to stir shit either though. he’s way past his petty thievery and crime-committing ways. instead of robbing a noble blind, now he just has to promise to protect them. 

a man ( derogatory ) so he says and thinks some out-of-pocket shit.

streets smart not books smart. doesn’t know how to read or appreciate the fine arts. 

loves to whore around when he isn’t on duty lol

🗡️ PLOTS

gold  — his current employer! would love for this to become a best friend type of deal! that the two speak very candidly with one another behind closed doors. maybe they even give him a lil training on how to speak to high society lol

steel  —  someone who had hired alonzo for a job before. maybe it was a one-off job, maybe it was something the employer would very much like to keep under wraps, maybe they went their separate ways after their relationship took a less professional note? something spicy ! 

iron  — someone he offended. someone who hates his guts and thinks that he is just the most vulgar man to walk the planet.

cobalt — working-class friends! people he feels comfortable talking shit about the upper class with. if they are business owners maybe he hangs around their establishment when he should be running errands and shit lol

titanium — someone treat him like the lil homewrecking slag he is and put him in an affair pls and thank you

IN SUMMARY : alonzo is just a man who is very aware of where he stands in the world — with the crooks and bastards of the ninety-nine percent. not a man of much depth, believes it's a dog-eat-dog world and only the most vicious ones make it out. has very little respect for the upper class but will do anything they ask of him… for the right price. 

inspired by ➔ bronn ( game of thrones ), reggie mantle ( riverdale ), noah puckerman ( glee ), ryuk ( death note ), flynn ryder ( tangled ), hector barbossa ( pirates of the caribbean )