#LOVE a body autonomy queen

[cistematicchaos]

I keep thinking about this discussion I was watching the other day where two people were talking about tattoos and how people say younger people shouldn't be allowed to get tattoos because "they might regret them later."

One of the people spoke up and said something along the lines of that if she got a tattoo when they were younger and regretted it later, they didn't think that meant they shouldn't have been allowed to get the tattoo.

Because her younger self deserved the right to get that tattoo and enjoy it, even if they didn't like it 100 evolutions of character later. Their younger self still deserved the right to make that choice, just like her [insert age] self deserves the right to get tattoos their 90 year old self would despise. It would be a disrespect to claim otherwise.

Your younger self deserved the right to your body just as much as you do now, even if you don't like or agree with what they did with it.

What a beautiful mentality that applies to so many things.

[dcviline]

D.aario N.aharis the man that you are

[daenerysies]

rhaenyra is as much of a girl’s girl as the society she lives in allows her to be.

book wise she has multiple ladies in waiting (not just alicent, which is a grave oversight in the show), one of which is said to have gouged out her own eyes at the sight of rhaenyra’s murder. that doesn’t sound like someone who isn’t capable of inspiring loyalty from the women around them. rhaenys fully and wholeheartedly supported rhaenyra and her cause, even dying in her attempts to make her the first queen regnant of the seven kingdoms. laena betrothed her daughters to rhaenyra’s sons, ensuring that her blood sat both the iron throne and the driftwood throne, all while being a pretty difficult backing to break due to the wealth and naval power of the velaryons (all of this in spite of the bastardy rumors surrounding jace and luke). the agreement also puts forward how politically astute rhaenyra is, and how she didn’t just rely on her father’s word to put her on the throne. she made alliances using her sons hand in marriage; borros baratheon might not have declared for aegon had a proposal taken place the night luke brought rhaenyra’s terms. baela was only held back from partaking in the many battles because of her dragon’s size, otherwise she would have been right beside her betrothed fighting for rhaenyra. there’s even a chance that rhaena would have joined had she had a rideable dragon of her own. she had mysaria, a former sex worker, as her mistress of whisperers, a very esteemed position on her small council. the cases of rosby and stokeworth have no bearing on this, because they were never named as heirs (along with being literal children during a war time) which is what rhaenyra was using as the basis for her rulership. jeyne arryn knew her own position as lady of the eyrie would be challenged (again) if aegon stepped over rhaenyra and subsequently supported her cause. important women like alysanne blackwood and sabitha frey were key players in cregan’s army.

show wise she is shown in the season two trailer to be taking advice from rhaenys and allowing her to be a part of the war efforts. baela and rhaena are explicitly included on her war council, with rhaena as her cupbearer. moondancer is no longer a hardly rideable dragon and baela seems to be taking direct part in the war. rhaenyra is already shown in a set picture to be communicating with mysaria (whether that’s discussing blood and cheese, the aftermath of it, or something entirely different remains to be seen). these are not the acts of someone who hated other women, and using her falling out with alicent and the resulting enmity between them (that is almost completely one-sided due to the difference in power dynamics) as an excuse to otherwise is worse than strange, considering alicent’s canonical goal was to seat her son, a known violent misogynist, on the throne over a woman who was the named heir to the king.

the green’s entire ideological standpoint is that women cannot rule, ever, for it would make the main members of the green’s powerless, and any other lord or heir’s claim would be up for debate if they have an elder sister. if the iron throne had truly been aegon’s by right alicent, otto, and criston would not have left viserys’ body to rot for days AND they would have had the backing of most of the houses. if alicent had cared more for her children’s wellbeing she would have convened a great council before the war began or considered any other effort that would not lead to her children fighting on dragonback. rhaenyra’s (peaceful) ascension would have at least started the necessary changes needed to grant women more authority and (!) autonomy in the seven kingdoms. queen consorts had significantly less influence after her murder, along with the targaryen’s losing their ability to hatch dragons. rhaenyra does not need to be a feminist for her cause to be inherently feminist by proxy.

rhaenyra was not a feminist, but she did have great love for other women. it’s disingenuous at best and downright insulting at worst to try to paint her as anything else. she inspired loyalty even after her murder. if the black’s cause had truly relied on putting rhaenyra on the throne, her armies would have disbanded once she was dead. instead corlys and larys poisoned aegon, with rhaenyra’s son being placed on the throne afterwards. it was ultimately about bloodlines in the end. jaehaera suffered the unfortunate consequences of an ambitious hand because of her status as aegon’s daughter. it plays directly into how alicent outlived her entire family, besides jaehaera, and went mad with grief, learning to hate the color green. how greed and the allure of power can and will corrupt those who choose to make that a priority in their lives, and how the innocent will usually pay the price for those sins.

[thenightmarketofdathomir]

O Wishmonger, Herald of Dathomir, you honor us again with your generosity and wisdom. To begin, I beseech thee - how shall our Brothers Three greet their dearly beloved ones after so long a time away? A reunion is long overdue. <3

I couldn't agree more.

Pairings: Feral x Reader (f!), Savage Opress x Reader (f!), Darth Maul x Reader (f!) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Somno (cnc), oral (receiving) size difference, p in v, collaring, D/s, power dynamics, exhibitionism, references to BDSM, marking/possession

Feral: Hugging your pillow, deep in dreams of your lover whom you haven't seen in so many moonsets, you don't feel the shimmersilk sheets slipping from your legs, but you remember that slanted grin and the way his eyes darken when he eases himself between your legs. The dream is so convincing, you can almost feel the heat of his mouth against your slit, easing you open with a kiss and the gentle stretch of your legs to avoid his horns -- and he holds you there, suckling at your clit, his tongue exploring as if to remap the secrets of your body. Too many nights away let the imagination run wild, but even lucid and dreaming, the gravel in his laughter is so convincing you nestle into the fantasy of his body behind yours, the weight of him pressing you into the mattress when he kisses up your spine, the gentle grip on your wrists easy because you're still limp and murmuring his name into the mattress. Your body clenches, empty and wanting, but his murmured, "I missed how wet you get for me," draws out a shiver and a roll of your hips to fit that heavy, hard rod of durasteel sinking into your cunt -- one tender ridge at a time to fill you up. "There you go, love," Feral says, his shallow thrusts easing you from slumber and into his arms, already tightening with the promise of pleasures delivered with the swivel of his hips. "Right back where you belong."

Savage: He's never looked more severe than when he's covered in gore, fresh from his mission with his eyes flashing. It occurs to you he hasn't bothered with his debriefing -- that his ship's been abandoned at the landing paddock and that every stone stair on the way up the Peak is just a mild inconvenience for someone who takes them three at a time on a good day. He looks pissed. He looks determined. And nothing -- and no one -- is getting in his way when his gaze locks on yours. It's a strange feeling, after having missed him so long, that your first inclination is to shrink. "Forgive me," he says when he reaches you, but the words are garbled and the next thing you know, your legs are swinging out from under you. The vein in his neck is throbbing, and outwardly, he looks pissed -- a warning, but not for you while he carries you away, clinging to those broad shoulders, fully aware that had you protested, you might've gone over his shoulder instead. He practically kicks open the doors to your shared quarters, the guard hastening to lock you away. "I need three full days," he explains. "Uninterrupted." He's shaking as he sets you to your feet, his hands uncertain of what to grab first, because there's a violence to his desperation that frightens him. So you step into him. Unfasten his armour. Press yourself into his skin when he groans and collapses into the edge of the bed where he remembers he can touch you without causing damage -- you take his hands. Place them where you want them: your breast, your hip, the swell of your ass, your thigh. He shakes less, but the look he wears is hungry. You remind him with your kisses that he can ease him; that you felt the same.

Maul: Lord Maul never leaves his toys unattended. He brings them with him -- his consort, his Queen marked with a tiny gold chain falling across so much black satin that it looks like a necklace, but you know, even standing behind him, that it's a sign of possession. Absolute authority. Control over the things he fears losing the most -- not his autonomy, but yours, because you chose him, and you chose this expression of your devotion: a little gold half-crescent, the suns doubled upon each other, worn around the neck. His symbol. His brand, like the bruises on your thighs from his powerful fingers, or the raw, wet feeling of his spend between your legs -- the fervour of his desire to drown you in pleasure hidden across your body beneath the long elegant train of your gowns and the expertly tailored bodices. Lord Maul is an overachiever. A perfectionist. A magician whose wonders are woven into stolen moments with your back bent over the balustrades and your legs around his neck. It's dizzying, to know you're so thoroughly claimed -- so desired that he refuses to be parted from you, because the part of you that worships him in return offers in exchange the one thing he most desires: the panted, exhausted whisper of his name from your lips like a prayer to some long forgotten creature, elevated to godliness with the offering of your love, your devotion, your body.

[thelustybraavosimaid]

...

....

.....

I want to specifically talk about book!Jon here because I'm pretty sure this person doesn't know a goddamn thing about Jon in the books or his personality to even remotely reach this conclusion. I'm, quite frankly, confused at this response. So I'd like to provide some quotes:

I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. (Jon XII, ASoS)

If a child was something Jon had always wanted, as is clearly stated here, why would he force Ygritte to get rid of his own kid?

Let's not pretend like he doesn't love her, either. Was the beginning of their relationship dubious? Absolutely. But he did love her:

"Yes." His voice was thick. "First we'll live."

She grinned at that, showing Jon the crooked teeth that he had somehow come to love. Wildling to the bone, he thought again, with a sick sad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He flexed the fingers of his sword hand, and wondered what Ygritte would do if she knew his heart. (Jon V, ASoS)

--

Ygritte was much in his thoughts as well. He remembered the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body...and the look on her face as she slit the old man's throat. You were wrong to love her, a voice whispered. You were wrong to leave her, a different voice insisted.

...

"Who is Ygritte?" Donal Noye asked pointedly.

"A woman of the free folk." How could he explain Ygritte to them? She's warm and smart and funny and she can kiss a man or slit his throat. "She's with Styr, but she's not...she's young, only a girl, in truth, wild, but she..." She killed an old man for building a fire. His tongue felt thick and clumsy. The milk of the poppy was clouding his wits. "I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but..." It was wrong. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her... (Jon VI, ASoS)

And he did mourn her.

Though Maester Aemon said his wound was healing well, Jon bore other scars, deeper than the ones around his eye. He grieves for his wildling girl, and for his brothers. (Samwell IV, ASoS)

--

She stood beneath the scorched stones of the Lord Commander's Tower, cloaked in darkness and in memory. The light of the moon was in her hair, her red hair kissed by fire. When he saw that, Jon's heart leapt into his mouth. "Ygritte," he said. (Jon VI, ADwD)

It goes without saying that Jon is one of the most progressive protagonists in the series. He:

•despises rape,

•advocates for those perceived "weaker" for not fitting the typical Westerosi gender standards (i.e. Sam and Satin),

•breaks the mould of Night's Watch traditions for hundreds of years by allowing freefolk men and women ages twelve and up to join.

Jon Snow values bodily autonomy.

Moreover:

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen's men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. "There is power in a king's blood," the old maester had warned, "and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this." The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames. (Jon I, ADwD)

--

Once outside and well away from the queen’s men, Val gave vent to her wroth. "You lied about her beard. That one has more hair on her chin than I have between my legs. And the daughter…her face…"

"Greyscale."

"The grey death is what we call it."

"It is not always mortal in children."

"North of the Wall it is. Hemlock is a sure cure, but a pillow or a blade will work as well. If I had given birth to that poor child, I would have given her the gift of mercy long ago."

This was a Val that Jon had never seen before. "Princess Shireen is the queen’s only child."

"I pity both of them. The child is not clean.”

"If Stannis wins his war, Shireen will stand as heir to the Iron Throne."

"Then I pity your Seven Kingdoms."

"The maesters say greyscale is not—"

"The maesters may believe what they wish. Ask a woods witch if you would know the truth. The grey death sleeps, only to wake again. The child is not clean!"

"She seems a sweet girl. You cannot know—"

"I can. You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Val seized his arm. “I want the monster out of there. Him and his wet nurses. You cannot leave them in that same tower as the dead girl.”

Jon shook her hand away. "She is not dead."

"She is. Her mother cannot see it. Nor you, it seems. Yet death is there." She walked away from him, stopped, turned back. "I brought you Tormund Giantsbane. Bring me my monster."

"If I can, I will.”

"Do. You owe me a debt, Jon Snow.”

Jon watched her stride away. She is wrong. She must be wrong. Greyscale is not so deadly as she claims, not in children. (Jon XI, ADwD)

Not to mention the conversation he has with Tormund:

"You are a free man now, and Ygritte is a free woman. What dishonor if you lay together?"

"I might get her with child."

"Aye, I'd hope so. A strong son or a lively laughing girl kissed by fire, and where's the harm in that?"

Words failed him for a moment. "The boy...the child would be a bastard."

"Are bastards weaker than other children? More sickly, more like to fail?"

"No, but—"

"You're bastard-born yourself. And if Ygritte does not want a child, she will go to some woods witch and drink a cup o' moon tea. You do not come into it, once the seed is planted."

"I will not father a bastard."

Tormund shook his shaggy head. "What fools you kneelers be. Why did you steal the girl if you don't want her?"

"Steal? I never..." (Jon II, ASoS)

So with that in mind, why would he force a woman of the freefolk — a group of people he had come to appreciate, and his first love — to drink moon tea? If she wanted to, she'd do it herself. But he would not force her. That is not how the freefolk work and Jon knows it.

[celepom]

FAVOURITE GRAPHIC NOVELS OF 2023

The Infinity Particle - By Wendy Xu

In this gorgeous graphic novel by Wendy Xu, co-creator of the award-winning Mooncakes, a young inventor falls for a lifelike AI and confronts questions of freedom and autonomy. Clementine Chang moves from Earth to Mars for a new start and is lucky enough to land her dream job with Dr. Marcella Lin, an Artificial Intelligence pioneer. On her first day of work, Clem meets Dr. Lin’s assistant, a humanoid AI named Kye. Clem is no stranger to robots—she built herself a cute moth-shaped companion named SENA. Still, there’s something about Kye that feels almost too human. When Clem and Kye begin to collaborate, their chemistry sets off sparks. The only downside? Dr. Lin is enraged by Kye’s growing independence and won’t allow him more freedom. Plus, their relationship throws into question everything Clem thought she knew about AI. After all, if Kye is sentient enough to have feelings, shouldn’t he be able to control his own actions? Where is the line between AI and human? As her past and Kye’s future weigh down on her, Clem becomes determined to help him break free—even if it means risking everything she came to Mars for.

Not Sew-Wicked Stepmom - By i r u, Yir, Mo9Rang

Once upon a time, there was a lovely young princess who suffered under her cruel stepmother…that is, until a children’s clothing designer is reborn as the evil stepmother! All the new Queen Abigail Friedkin wants to do is dote on the adorable Princess Blanche and give her the happy childhood she deserves. The problem is, the previous Abigail has garnered a reputation for being extremely jealous and materialistic—and to top it off, her smile is the stuff of children’s nightmares! Will Abigail be able to convince her stepdaughter that she might not be so wicked after all? 

(TW, childhood SA of the main male lead)

Until I Love Myself: The Journey of a Nonbinary Manga Artist

A bravely blunt autobiography about confronting the tangled traumas of gender dysphoria and workplace sexual harassment. Nonbinary manga artist Poppy Pesuyama is excited when forms offer the option to choose “neither” for gender and thrilled about their new job working as an assistant for mangaka X! But then he sexually harasses them, treating them first like a girl and then like something less than human. It only lasts a few months, but in some ways it never ends. Born into a body they hate and still reeling from the abuse they faced seven years ago, Pesuyama begins to rail at their past, their friends, and even their mother as they try to come to terms with who they are and what happened to them.

Belle of the Ball - By Mari Costa

High-school senior and notorious wallflower Hawkins finally works up the courage to remove her mascot mask and ask out her longtime crush: Regina Moreno, head cheerleader, academic overachiever, and all-around popular girl. There’s only one teensy little problem: Regina is already dating Chloe Kitagawa, athletic all-star…and middling English student. Regina sees a perfectly self-serving opportunity here, and asks the smitten Hawkins to tutor Chloe free of charge, knowing Hawkins will do anything to get closer to her. And while Regina’s plan works at first, she doesn’t realize that Hawkins and Chloe knew each other as kids, when Hawkins went by Belle and wore princess dresses to school every single day. Before long, romance does start to blossom…but not between who you might expect. With Belle of the Ball, cartoonist Mariana Costa has reinvigorated satisfying, reliable tropes into your new favorite teen romantic comedy.

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich - By Deya Muniz

Lady Camembert wants to live life on her own terms, without marriage. Well, without marrying a man, that is. But the law of the land is that women cannot inherit. So when her father passes away, she does the only thing she can: She disguises herself as a man and moves to the capital city of the Kingdom of Fromage to start over as Count Camembert.   But it’s hard to keep a low profile when the beautiful Princess Brie, with her fierce activism and great sense of fashion, catches her attention. Camembert can’t resist getting to know the princess, but as the two grow closer, will she able to keep her secret?   A romantic comedy about mistaken identity, true love, and lots of grilled cheese.

[dent-de-leon]

Listening to "Bedtime" from the Little Mermaid soundtrack and just,,,, thinking about how Taliesin said Molly was based on mermaids and not having a soul but Ariel gets her happy ending in the disney version and Kingsley gets a happy ending with the Nein and just,,,,

Taliesin Jaffe how dare you do this to me on this, our pride month

AH yes I love that Mollymauk is Taliesin's interpretation of a mermaid so much, it's so fascinating and tragic and bittersweet. Also, I just listened to the song and it's lovely. Makes me very nostalgic.

But yeah, that clip of Taliesin explaining his initial pitch for Molly still just breaks my heart. His acknowledgement that, "Mermaids are fucked," because they supposedly exist without a soul, "Empty" and eternally doomed from the start...it's just so tragic. "I want a body where the soul left, and the body just kept moving. Whatever was in there got pulled out, and went to the Raven Queen. And they just kept walking, like a mermaid--no soul....just someone who was a total blank slate."

And while he does get the fairytale happy end and get to live on with his loved ones, I think Tealeaf's narrative very closely mirrors the darker aspects of Hans Christian Andersen's original version. Especially given the premise of a being without a soul--someone who was supposed to be forever Empty, yet still became whole--

And one of my personal favorite mermaid parallels: A deal made with a witch for an impossible dream. Offering up a vital part of yourself in exchange for a false hope that can never truly be. To me, it echoes both Lucien's own family bargaining away their child to a hag--as well as Lucien later offering himself to the Somnovem. He might not have known Azrahari always planned to keep him as one of her puppets--"My beautiful boy...I had hoped to make you mine one day. What a perfect specimen you would have made. Oh, how you would have been merry with laughter and dance..." But he always lived in fear that it was a possibility.

His parents abused both him and his siblings, were willing to offer up one of their two remaining children to a witch for some fantasy; they passively stood by while they forced Lucien to lure victims to a deadly hag as a mere child--marks who were often bandits, murderers, and monsters as surely as the witch. Abandoning Lucien to them and Azrahari both. Azrahari, who promises she can finally make Lucien happy, return him to those childhood days of song and laughter and dance, if only he would let her carve out his soul--

Again and again, Lucien is promised happiness and safety at the cost of his own freedom and autonomy. The witch can take all his pain away, he just has to surrender all his willpower to her. Exist forever as a hollowed out, Empty shell, her glassy-eyed cadaver of a doll to puppet and put on display.

And the Somovem can make all of his dreams come true, can make his fairytale Once upon a time and happily ever after a reality, he just has to submit to their thrall completely. And, like with the Little Mermaid, it will also come at the cost of unimaginable pain. A girl who can dance beautifully, but every step feels like shards of glass in her feet. The pain of her transformation never leaving her. The Somnovem promising Lucien the whole world, and when he asks what it will cost, they decree, "Pain and pain and pain. A dear price for a man, a pittance for a king, and nothing to a God, cosmically ordained."

And while the Little Mermaid longs to meet her love, she also mourns the fact that, while mermaids live far longer than humans, they have no immortal soul. No eternity or gods or heaven awaits them. They merely fade away, dissolve into seafoam and cease to be. (Just a body without a soul, an abandoned vessel. Hollow. Empty.)

I don't think it's a coincidence that's the fate that awaits all mermaids--and that when Lucien dies, his soul is scattered into dust across the Astral Sea. "It's one thing to be in a different body, it's another to have your very essence scattered. Your very immortal soul divided into pieces, like so much confetti. I believe you seemed to fall for one of those pieces that stuck behind..."

To me though, a parallel that really stands out is the narrative culminating in a decision where you have to either kill someone you love or turn that blade on yourself. Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid is granted a last gift at her darkest hour--a way out where she doesn't have to fade away into nothingness. A chance to live on with her family beneath the sea--a family who loved her enough to barter with the sea witch for one last chance at her freedom. And all it will cost is a dagger through the prince's heart.

But of course she can't bear to go through with it. She tosses the witch's dagger into the sea and falls after it to her death, choosing to sacrifice herself instead of the person she loves. And Mollymauk? When faced with the reality that he could only save the Nein by tearing apart Lucien--and himself along with him--he doesn't even hesitate.

He digs his claws into his own wound and lets himself fall to pieces. He never once thinks of self preservation, tries to barter or plead or find a way to save himself at the last moment. He knows either the Nein will survive or the Nonagon will--and perhaps through him, a part of Molly, even just a piece--but he chooses a painful, agonizing death over Lucien's warped perception of godhood and eternity.

All Mollymauk has ever wanted was to live--in spite of how harsh and cruel the world always was to him. He still wanted nothing more than to walk Exandria and fill that clawing Emptiness with joy and love, have just one more day out of the grave to live and feel and be almost real. And still, he chooses to offer up himself if it means sparing everyone else. When Matt narrates Kingsley's nightmares of Cognouza, he emphasizes that to Tealeaf, "It was worth it. It was worth it." As long as it's to protect the people he loves, letting himself pay the blood price will always be worth it--

"Looking out from within your prison, pushing against your invisible bonds--when your heart found the strength, giving all that you are to help those who gave you purpose in return. It was worth it. It was worth it...The moment you gave yourself and broke your prison. The lights, so many around you free to move on. The warm catharsis of letting go..."

Like the merfolk of the original tale, when Mollymauk sacrifices himself, it's not just death that he faces. It's total oblivion. Offering up all that he is. And he does it gladly.

But when the Little Mermaid sacrifices herself, she is welcomed by warmth, and light. Given a chance to earn an immortal soul through good deeds. And by the same token, when Mollymauk tears apart both the Nonagon and himself, he falls back into the Moonweaver's welcoming embrace. Given another chance by both her and the Wildmother--divine, higher powers that looked at this supposedly "Empty" vessel and saw a warm, bleeding heart. A "forgotten fragment" that was loved so much--and loved so fiercely and selflessly in turn--they became real and whole.

“Light gathers around the body, the magic attempting to reach out into whatever space holds the souls here in the Astral Sea, as so many go scattering outward now to search for one. A fragment of one. Or is it a whole one? If souls can grow from but a piece…”

I think it's both terribly tragic and heartwarmingly bittersweet that Mollymauk's ending echoes the Little Mermaid's own--a gutting sacrifice that leads to hope and a new beginning. A second chance and a soul made whole. Being saved and held together by the very love you sacrificed yourself for. It's also suitably a very romantic end to me, which fits Tealeaf perfectly. And the fact that the character who was inspired by mermaids goes on to become a pirate king...I do wonder if Taliesin did that on purpose, because I think it's adorable--

Anyway, I love Mollymauk, and all the Little Mermaid parallels, and wish we could listen to Taliesin talk about mer inspired Molly more. Also, this bit of character building makes mer widmauk one of my favorite au's--

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @corinneglass!

Character Voice Tag

My line: "What's there for me except death?"

Your line: "Why do you smell like that?"

Ooo, this is a heavy one >:)

.

Izjik: "What's left?! End took everything from me. My autonomy, my body, all of it! All I can do now is make sure it doesn't take my family's lives too."

Sepo: "I've tasted fire and divine song. I've felt more pain and joy than most ever will. If it ends here, then so be it. But know that I won't be going into that dark beyond alone."

Twenari: "It's called Sorcerer’s Poison for a reason. Such is the fate of my kind. I've... It's one last mystery, one I've never been able to touch yet."

Djek: "I'm not the type of guy who was gonna live long anyways. But I'll settle for fast, loud, and glorious."

Astra: "It's been one helluva run, I reckon. Maybe, maybe just this once, I'll end things with grace. Maybe I'll be honest and tell ya I'm a little scared, love..."

Mashal: "I've been dead for a while now, if you think about it. Nothing will change, I just won't be with you anymore. It'll be ok, I promise."

Ivander: "Please, give me oblivion. I can't face the other option."

Elsind: "I'll do this thing, for my friends. That's pretty brave, right? I've always wanted to be brave."

Avymere: "For queen and country, I've done all I can. Now though... Now, I think I can afford to rest. To finally put down the sword. To- To see my mother again."

.

Oh, the angst! I'll tag @skywritesss @viscerawrites @aestheic-writer18 @zmwrites and anyone else who wants in :)

[ch3ri-ch3ri-lady]

Vampire chronicles ask for u (if you’re still interested ofc!) what do you think about Claudia as a character?

Ofcccc! Tysm for asking and I have a LOT of thoughts on Claudia (how can you not??). Brace yourself for a whole dissertation.

First and foremost, I’m the BIGGEST Claudia defender. I genuinely think she was completely justified in killing Lestat and being a dick to Louis about it. She genuinely has one of the most tragic stories in all of tvc and despite only being a main character for one book, she really stuck with me. Being eternally trapped in the body of a child, never being able to live on your own, take on a lover, basically have any autonomy or respect in society-all because of your drama queen fathers’ shitty baby trapping and toxic married couple bullshit? I would be a VILLAIN.

I hate when people say they dislike Claudia because she “abused” Louis or was “just as bad as Lestat”. Firstly, she was LITERALLY the child lmao. I think we as readers have a very biased portrayal of Claudia and her actions because it’s told from the eyes of Louis and Lestat. If it was from Claudia’s POV, I think absolutely no one would be complaining about her revenge quest against her shitty dads. I know it’s a topical debate on if Louis was a bad father or not, and while I think he definitely tried and was maybe more of the stereotypical nuclear-family-reads-bedtime-stories-to-his-daughter “good dad” in the early years, his hypocritical self loathing and perpetual martyrdom definitely inhibited his ability to provide Claudia with the support system she needed. Weeping dramatically about how bad of a father you’ve been doesn’t make you a better father lmao. To be honest, when it came to Claudia’s personality, I wasn’t a huge fan. I didn’t find her as entertaining to read about as say Lestat or Armand, and she was never emotionally or vibe wise one of my favourite characters. However, I think she is one of the most interestingly written characters and I will always ride or die defend her regardless.

As for AMC’s Claudia, I ADORED Bailey Bass’s portrayal of her and can’t wait to see Delainey Hayles in s2! While I think the aged up Claudia was definitely well executed and interesting (and I get why they did it), I still think it’s a bit of a shame that’s she’s not explicitly a “child” anymore. AMC Claudia can effectively live on her own and with some makeup pass for 18. Even this slight more access to adulthood places show Claudia leagues ahead of book Claudia. One thing I wasn’t a fan of was her sexual assault-I’m glad that they did the bare minimum of not showing it onscreen, but it felt very unnecessary to me. Like they could’ve just made Bruce attack her or something. Also Lestat (sexual assault victim) using Claudia’s against her as a fear tactic?? I get Lestat was very villainized in s1 from a mix of Louis and Claudia’s unreliable narration and Armand’s mind control mumbo jumbo, but I found that rather distasteful. Speaking of Claudia and Lestat, she’s literally his mini me! I really hope AMC shows more of this, and more moments of Lestat doting on Claudia. He was always the father who spoiled her with excessively bloody killing sprees or luxury brand clothes, I feel like we hardly saw that in the show. Like Claudia is his BABY! The parallels between Lestat/the Marquis and Claudia/Lestat…absolutely soul-crushingly diabolical I love it.

I’m curious as to how they’re going to change/approach Claudia and Madeleine’s relationship in the show. One of my favourite changes the show made was getting rid of the Claudia/Louis incest stuff because…DEFINITELY one of my least favourite things about the iwtv book and made me extremely uncomfortable. People always joke about Gabrielle/Lestat but Claudia/Louis is like a fandom taboo lmao (rightfully so). Probably because joking about Lestat’s mommy issues oedipus complex is funnier and more acceptable then acknowledging the fact that book Louis was like a straight pedophile about his 5 year old daughter. Wtf Anne.

This was SO much I’m so sorry lmao

[an-unraveling-unknown]

It's been a bit, and I think I've forgotten some. Can you give me a brief rundown of your little guys?

Hiya Bones, I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU A BRIEF RUNDOWN ON MY LITTLE GUYS!!! (thank you thank you thank you!!) (its not as brief as it should be I'm so sorry)

I still have yet to name this project: My first original project! I have no ideas for the plot LMAO /crying a little

Locke: Ancient android cursed to carry the physical fear of an entire very dead race of beings that they have identified as 'human,' the same thing they classify the people they see today. Travels a lot, he generally likes to keep moving - has taken up the mantel of unofficial psychopomp. Likes people (from a distance,) dressing up, engaging in human activism in whatever way they can, and Deimos. Dislikes having a lack of bodily autonomy. Was called 'Rue' once (Agender, but he has a fondness for He/They)

Deimos: Your local embodiment of human fear, and human fear specifically. Laughs in the face of gender on a daily basis, mostly due to the fact that he's a shapeshifter (generally shifting into the specifically held fear of whatever society he happens to be around) Drama queen, constantly makes either slightly too old or slightly too new pop culture references that Locke could never hope to understand, but he found a good audience with The Children. Deeply just wants social connection, a bit of a hard feat when you're immortal, and unfortunately something he couldn't find in Locke due to their own circumstances. For a while, at least. (Genderfluid, but currently favors he/him)

The Children: Collective term for all the people and non-people Deimos has unofficially adopted - still workin on them, but I CAN tell you that Charlotte (third youngest) has ties to 'Charlotte's Web' and the 1829 poem 'The Spider and the Fly' and also happens to be an anthropomorphic spider, while Marley is (probably) from Boston (youngest). Not all technically children by human standards, but pretty much everyone is a kid when you're Deimos's age

(other little guys below. forgive me for the massive text blocks)

Undertale AU: Some context, this revolves around two of my ocs in an au that is basically be adding non-canon context with plot; Sunny and Z!* Sunny ran away from home after extenuating circumstances and an argument with her parents, kind of as a 'last hurrah' of sorts, and Z tagged along because of his own reasons. Both of them found themselves in the underground and are now constantly wondering if they went and died about it because Undertale is actually a thing that exists in their universe

Sunny: He is a trainwreck, and is also probably the closest I'll ever get to a self-insert (but it's moreso me when I was 12-ish inserted into a 17 y/o's body). Compassionate at heart, she likes the sciences and being outdoors and philosophical things; math is latin to her (dead,) and she knows a fair amount of sign language. Utterly thrilled to be in the underground for the most part, something he and Z have conflict about - doesn't like talking about his childhood. Yellow coded as in warning (She/Him, Aroace)

Z: Also a huge freakin clusterfuck and Sunny's best friend, but Z is more contained than not. The funny one of the two, Super tech efficient, the fella loves cryptography and all things coding, made a rick-roll virus once on the family computer and now that very same computer exists half-alive in the garage - he'd like to be a game dev someday. Used to get hurt and sick a lot when he was younger. Z refuses to be alone with his thoughts, so he practically throws himself at anything declared constructive at a contstant rate, very much unlike his friend. Knows Sunny has a lot going on with the imminent move to Europe and all, but they shouldn't, cannot stay here damnit (He/Him, Straight)

*not their actual names, but they can't really say their actual names due to extenuating plot reasons and 'Sunny' n 'Z' is what Flowey called them upon first encounter.

BG3: The Baldur's Gate 3 duders!! neither Aeonian nor Monad really fit into forgotten realms lore, considering I picked them up from a separate Stardew Valley AU project and threw them at my current hyperfixation without a lick of research cos I figured it would be no problem. I was sadly mistaken, but we're making it work (even amidst the greek myth n gaelic folklore parallels which are now just outside-of-story meta)

Aeonian: My Tav!! Best put (in your words exactly) as a sad little tissue paper man. Unofficial bard and humanoid-shaped creature (Physical Embodiment of Death at Sea, to be precise) who is not normally humanoid-shaped, but is doing it anyway because their sister is missing and they have a guard dog complex to uphold. Looks like a very tall and very blue twig that could snap in the wind, but what they lack in intimidation they receive in cleverness and wit with a little bit of added bardic charmisa. They did not at all wish to claw themselves out of the sea with gritted teeth and sheer drive alone, and while they aren't necessarily cold, they also aren't here to make friends. This is currently being conflicted by the fact that they give a shit. Character development follows the rock cycle (They/Them, Demirose)

Monad: Aeonian's older sister and Embodiment of Life at Sea - the braver of the two, having ventured up to the surface first and kept going despite being kidnapped by pirates more times than ve can count on both hands - ve is here to have a good time and a good time only. Lively and charismatic, he loves the pleasures of life, people, life in general, and Aeonian. Took up the druid class, as she told her sibling, and was in the midst of learning how to wild shape before she went up on a surface outing one day and didn't come back. Ve's more secretive than Aeon knows (Ve/Her/Himself and very much a lesbian)

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

On the topic of Nagito resenting Izuru, I actually think it could go beyond that. Something that I'm not totally convinced about is none of Class 77 having any hard feelings towards Hajime. While them loving him inside the simulation makes perfect sense, would that really carry over smoothly once they were back out? Because his actions led to both them being brainwashed and for their deprogramming session being sabotaged in the first place. And to add insult to injury, he can take some solace in feeling less "tainted" than they are. Izuru had more autonomy and self-control during the Tragedy, while they were reduced to vicious idiots acting on whatever violent impulse came to them. Like with Sonia, she has to live with being known to the world as the tyrant queen who brought her homeland to ruin (though I personally like to headcanon that Novoselic is recovering). Meanwhile for the few people who are aware of a 15th Remnant, Hajime is "that one other dude with the long hair that we're not even sure killed that many people". I mean if I came out of the NWP with all that mental (and possibly physical) baggage, and the dude in our group who was most responsible for the rest of us becoming so fucked up was conversely the least guilty of us AND got handed a thousand super-talents...well I think I'd be a wee bit resentful and jealous. And going back to Nagito, it also seems a bit unrealistic to me that in most fanfics there doesn't seem to be any resistance from him to accepting medical aid from Hajime. Or dismay at discovering it was done while he was in a coma. Because on top of him probably not feeling like he'd want to prolong his life, accepting that kind of aid from the former Izuru would probably feel kind of infantilizing to be honest. Dude gets handed everything you ever wanted including a better version of your luck, he betrays Hope's Peak because he's bored, does absolutely nothing while someone dear to you is murdered and you and your classmates get brainwashed, sets things up so that your attempted suicide will actually result in you getting possessed by your nemesis...and now you're just meant to let him assert the power of a doctor over you and welcome him as your savior? I just think there'd probably need to be a moment where Nagito is convinced to accept treatment, rather than it being done to him without his consent. Make him feel assured that he has agency and control over his own body, and that continuing to live was his own choice. Because otherwise I think it could get really nasty. " I don't care that you're the most talented man alive. Even if I'd wanted to live, you, of all people on this planet, YOU are the last human being on Earth that I would want help from."

Ooo this be a spicy take! But some very good points! First off, sorry for taking so long to reply to this question it just this got me back into my Dangan theorist mode, and I wanted to replay all of Chapter 0/6 as well as read a summary of Zero in order to re-examine how the game and novel present Izuru Kamukura.

I’ll try my best not to derail this because Izuru’s whole existence and backstory is just…..such a brain worm for me that I can speculate on for hours. There’s just so much we don’t truly know if we’re basing this solely on the games (which I usually prefer to do seeing as the anime is filled with contradictions). But, doing so would mean having to excuse his involvement (or lack of) in preventing Chiaki’s murder and class 77’s brainwashing since there’s nothing within the games that indicates such things happening since even within game it flat out states Junko manipulated her high power connections (ie: the Ultimates), one by one and not in a batch.

She really only used video footage of explicit killing to manipulate the Reserve Course into rioting (Dr0), the rest of the world into more despair (Dr1) and as a way to taunt the Future Foundation (SDR2). Hell, technically, there is no proof that Chiaki actually existed in real life if we’re going only by the games too. That was something canonized by the anime.

Well okay. There may be ONE thing in the second game that can potentially confirm Chiaki’s existence in the real world and that’s her presence being listed in the book Nagito got with everyone's info. However, this was given to him by Monokuma and Nagito did destroy any of the information regarding his classmates time in and out of  school that could have very well revealed that Chiaki wasn’t ever there—but I digress and this aint about Chiaki rn this is about Izuru.

What we do know of him through the game is that he sees himself as being used by Junko and thus brought in a flash drive with her AI to insert into the Neo World Program as a virus so he could use her instead. This feels contradictory though, if the end result would be Junko taking over all their bodies. You can’t even argue that he did it so Hajime could override his present self and come back because that would have happened regardless (that was literally what was SUPPOSED to happen). So then why bring Junko back? How was he using her in that regard? Well, the only thing I can think of is that he pretty much already knew how it was all going to end, and that creating a killing game was the only way to ensure everyone stayed alive whilst retaining their old memories thus decreasing the chance of them falling back into Ultimate Despair when re-awakened and in a way saying “fuck you” to Junko’s despair and destroying the last remnants of her both in name and digitally.

Cool beans. He still lied to them all though. Junko states that each of them willingly went into the program knowing well that her virus was going to force them into a killing game to cause despair. Izuru, though, didn’t tell them his whole plan or how it was truly going to end, otherwise no one would have joined. And that’s not necessarily bad–he was doing it for their own good! Except, well, there’s not conclusive proof that he did so for their sake (and since we don’t know if Chiaki existed irl we don’t know if he did this for her). Also given how indifferent he is in-game, the fact that his surgery left him emotionally distant, and his lack of connection with class 77, well it’d be easier to believe that Izuru did this all purely out of self interest in a way to get “revenge” at Junko and perhaps alleviate his boredom.

Now, present Hajime WOULD have an emotional investment in class 77 and it’s that reason he sticks around to help them recover. But, honestly, I agree that the ex-remnants would take some time to come around to fully trusting him again because remember: they ARE still recovering from despair. It would not be surprising if their residual remnant emotions feel betrayed by him for lying to them and essentially killing off Junko for good. Add in their in-game memories conflicting with their past memories every time they see Hajime and he’s not quite the same Hajime they befriended thus reminding them that he’s also  that guy who just randomly showed up one day then manipulated them into a scheme for seemingly his own self interest, yeeeah it might take them a while before being buddy buddy with him.

Though they will eventually, but let’s focus on Nagito for a bit because he’d be the absolute last person to come around in fully trusting Hajime/Izuru. Because you see, while it was stated that the remnants agreed to be part of the killing game, we know for a fact that not ALL of them did so. And we know this because of chapter 0. In it, we see Nagito meeting Izuru for the first time (as Nagito literally says he’s never seen Izuru before), thus Izuru has not been in contact with Nagito to inform him of the plan (which actually brings into question WHY Nagito is even there/agreed to re-programming but that’s a theory for another day). We also see Nagito being very confused about Izuru’s talking about his flash drive with Junko’s AI in it. And, although he doesn’t fully understand what Izuru is planning, what he takes from it is that he’ll be able to see Junko again and get the chance of killing her himself. Izuru does not correct him or inform him of anything else. Meaning, Nagito knows absolutely nothing of the killing game he unknowingly signed up for nor of the possibility of his body being taken over by Junko.

In other words: NAGITO DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS AT ALL.

Unlike his classmates who can forgive Hajime’s actions as Izuru because yeah technically they DID agree to it, Nagito was not even informed much less had the option to say yes. You can argue that Izuru did so intentionally knowing that Nagito’s strange half-remnant state and intense resentment towards despair and Junko would have made him too much of a risk to the plan that is was better to leave him in the dark, but it still doesn’t change the fact that Nagito didn’t get a choice. Add in our previous discussion of why Nagito would be resentful towards Izuru because of all his gifted talents along with this and I’d say yeah, Nagito wouldn’t be all that welcoming toward accepting Hajime’s help post game.

This doesn’t even add in your note on pro-longing his life without his input or anything from the anime, so if Chiaki’s death was actually used as a trigger for class 77 and Izuru could have done something about it–YEAH that’s going to make the resentment exponentially worse.

So your last tidbit of Nagito getting a chance to decide something for himself just hits so strongly given he never got the chance to do so before. It’s the least he deserves now.

[leafkingofbirds]

Title: Clearing the Air

Book: The Cursed Heart book 2

Word count: 2,500

Warnings: none.

Spoiler warning: none.

Summary: Kieran learns about Oleander's use of magic against Ella. And he is not happy.

Tagging @valiant-noble-soul as requested! I hope you like it!

I'm not 100 percent confident it's as good as it was in my head, but continuing to mess around with it probably isnt helping soo here it is!

~~~

Kieran didn’t make a sound as Ella changed the blood-soaked bandages throughout the night and the next morning after the attack. Even as she peeled the bandages from the sticky mess of blood and cleaned the long, jagged tear in his flesh that spanned from shoulder to hip as best she could, he bore all the pain in complete silence. 

Almost like he was paying penance.

It had been a whirlwind few days. The frolic, the attack, the funeral…navigating Kieran’s complicated grief and his terrible wounds. So much tragedy in such a short time had taken a toll. And it had been enough to push that terrifying moment in the hallway with Oleander out of Ella’s mind completely. The horror at being frozen against her will, the gnawing panic of being helpless which lasted mere moments, but in her memory felt endless. Absolute powerlessness in the face of capricious Fae. Even if Oleander was Kieran’s friend, they were very obviously not hers. If they had kept her there much longer, she wouldn’t have been able to keep herself from begging.

In light of everything else that’d happened, that fleeting incident seemed unworthy of mention. Kieran was already shouldering so much; there was no reason to add to it.

But this morning she’d awoken with a sickening dread, memories of Radiance's cruelty brought fresh the surface. That moment of helpless fear, frustration, and revulsion at having her bodily autonomy stolen once again, just as Radiance had done, weighed on her like a sodden cloak as she dressed and readied herself to travel to the Sun Palace. 

“It will be different this time,” she told her reflection firmly, even as her insides quaked.

Oleander had been somewhat gentler to her since the funeral. Ella couldn’t be sure, but she wondered if they harbored some amount of guilt.

“There’s no reason to be afraid,” Ella reminded herself. 

The Moon Source had healed Kieran, thank goodness. The fresh new power he’d siphoned directly from the Source had renewed and reinvigorated him, deepening his already intense aura of power.

It was a relief – and at the same time, frightening. The Prince of Night was always a sight to behold, his presence overwhelming even when he was loving and gentle with her. But this morning the air around him felt almost electrified. He was on edge, as unhappy about returning to the Sun Palace as she was. When he entered her room, he seemed to carry shadows with him.

But now, with Kieran’s hands comforting and strong at her waist, the intense strength of him at her back, his power felt like reassurance. Ella gazed at their solemn reflections in her floor-length mirror. The midnight-blue dress speckled with stars that he had conjured made her look like queen, but it didn’t change how she felt about herself inside. 

“Do you feel ready to face the Sun Court now, beloved?” came his husky voice in her ear.

He clearly expected her to say yes.

Fae high society is all about perceived power, she tried to tell herself. And you look powerful. Even if you don’t feel it.

All at once, the memory came back, as if to remind her just how powerless she was. Forced to her knees by a simple, off-hand command from Oleander. Control of her body stolen in the span of a breath. 

How easy it would be for Kieran to do the same. 

He would never hurt her. She knew that. 

But he could. 

And so could Oleander.

Even when she thought herself safe, within the walls of the Moon Palace, with Kieran’s oldest and trusted friend, wearing Kieran’s magic protection around her neck, she had still blundered into that trap so easily.

Oleander had driven home their point quite thoroughly: Nothing would truly keep her safe here. Not even Kieran’s magic. 

“What is it?” Kieran’s eyes narrowed, his hands clenching her waist as he sensed the shifting of her emotions. “You had a very grave look just now.”

Ella sighed. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

Kieran smirked at her in the mirror, but his eyes still held a grim, anxious quality. He reached out and curled his hand around her forearm, gently. “It’s unnerving that you feel the need to hide something from me at all, beloved. Tell me. Please?”

She smiled at his attempt to soften the order. He was trying to stifle some of his bossier instincts for her. 

“The dress is stunning, and will certainly help with my confidence. It’s simply that…after what happened with Oleander…”

His pupils narrowed to sharp black points, suspicious, the heavy energy in the air growing thicker. “After what happened with Oleander?”

Ella’s eyes widened, and then she was looking at her own shocked face in the mirror before she broke away from Kieran’s arms and faced him, abashed. “I never got a chance to tell you…Everything happened so fast. But please don’t be cross with them, you’ve only just rekindled your friendship, and I–”

Now there was a flare of alarm in Kieran’s eyes along with the suspicion; his brow furrowed even deeper. “I make no promises as to being angry. But I will make an attempt at restraining myself. Now out with it.”

“The day of the frolic, after you left me alone with Oleander…They were just trying to make it plain how important it was that I’m careful to be specific with my words.”

“What did Oleander do?”

She had to look away from the fiery power of those eyes. “They demonstrated how…they could still order me to my knees and keep me there against my will, despite your charm. That it’s not foolproof, so I had best keep on my guard.”

The temperature in the room dropped. Kieran’s face drained of color; then something in his eyes went dead – became black and hard as chips of flint. His hand dropped to his side.

Without another word, Kieran turned and left the room.

“Kieran!” Ella chased after him down the hall, but he was already out of sight.

She followed the trail of cold air and ice-frosted windows, his newly-strengthed power breaking free of his control. Even the candles had been snuffed out in his wake. 

“Oleander!”

Ella broke into a run. The voice had come in the direction of Oleander’s private parlor.

She rounded the corner and came up short. 

Kieran had Oleander pinned up against the stone wall, his fist twisting at their collar and black shadows rolling off him like swirls of snowfall. 

Ella shivered, her breath fogging in the unnatural cold. “Kieran, don’t.”

Oleander met Kieran’s fury with a placid expression. Unsurprised and unafraid, their hands held up in surrender.

“Hello, Kieran,” Oleander answered, utterly calm. “I was wondering when we might have this discussion.”

“You will answer for what you did to Ella,” Kieran growled.

“Kieran, stop this” Ella reached out to grab Kieran’s shoulder, but Oleander’s eyes slid past Kieran to give her a look of warning. 

The message was clear: this was between the two of them.

“Kieran has every right to demand recompense,” Oleander said mildly. “I did, indeed, trespass against the royal consort. I accept that I must answer for it.”

“You swore to become a member of my court. My subject,” Kieran growled. “And the very next day, you force my consort to her knees against her will and in defiance of my very own magical protection.”

“As a lesson,” Oleander replied. “As you entrusted me with your consort’s education.”

Kieran practically growled. “And her safety.”

“Ella was entirely safe, as my intentions were solely instructive. You would not have entrusted me with her if you believed otherwise.” 

Ella held her breath as the Kieran glared and Oleander gaze calmly back, Kieran’s power swirling unabated and fierce. Oleander appeared not to notice. They made no move to fight back, but nor did they surrender. 

Kieran loosened his hold on Oleander’s collar, so that they could breathe a little easier, but did not let go. “I don’t quite care as to your intentions. It is in your actions that I find fault. You compelled Ella to her knees against her will. No matter how old our friendship, I cannot overlook a transgression so egregious.”

“I’m aware my actions were likely to displease you. But if I may remind you, Ella came to no harm. Twas but a momentary inconvenience. And you were about to throw Ella to the proverbial wolves, taking her to Opulence’s manor before she was properly prepared. I did what I believed was best, as I always have done. As you knew I would when you brought me into your court, Kieran.”

Kieran’s hand tightened once again, bringing Oleander’s face minutely closer. “You will address me as your prince.”

Oleander’s eyes flashed open with surprise. “Yes…my prince,” Oleander said slowly, as if to an angry animal poised to bite them. 

Ella was impressed not to detect even a hint of sarcasm. Ella herself had not always had the self-restraint not to infuse a bit of mockery into that exact phrase in the past. But then, Oleander knew at this moment they were not being held at the throat by an old friend, but by a High Prince of Fae, with all the expectations of that title, and ruled by ancient laws that they all must abide. A Ruler of All Fae.

And a very angry one, that.

“Apologize,” Kieran snapped. 

Ella stiffened. This was far too similar to the story Oleander told of how their friendship soured long ago. Oleander acting on their own, according to their own particular morals, and Kieran demanding an apology they would never give. 

She held her breath, not wanting to once again be the woman who came between the two friends…but how could she put a stop to this?

The skin around Oleander’s eyes tightened ever so slightly with annoyance, but they wisely didn’t voice any complaints. “Apologies, my prince. I overstepped.”

“Apologize to her.” 

Oleander’s eyes flicked over to Ella, breaking their contact with Kieran for the first time, and their eyebrows rose incrementally. 

“Do you know what I did to the last Fae who enthralled her?” Kieran growled, quiet and low. 

“I know enough,” Oleander replied.

Kieran’s voice was cold. “No, you don’t. So allow me to elucidate. In the Sun Palace, Radiance stole Ella’s voice. Controlled her body, just as you did. He compelled her to deliver unto me a curse that nearly destroyed me, not to mention our realm – via a confession of love. Unable to speak a single word of warning. You may know something of hardship, Oleander. But you do not know what my Ella has endured. That she remains here in the world of Fae of her own volition is a sacrifice I strive to be worthy of. Here, in her own home, under my protection, is the one place in this realm she should feel entirely safe. And I will suffer no one – not even dear old friends – to take that sense of safety away from her under my roof ever again.” 

Behind the stiff collar, Oleander’s throat moved on a swallow. There was a moment of grave silence. And when they spoke, their voice was thick, unusually sincere. “Understood. My prince.” 

At long last, Kieran released Oleander, the heavy cold air of his furious magic giving way to soft, warm sunshine through the windows once more. His jaw was still set.  “Apologize to my consort, Oleander. For it is she that you have wronged, even more than myself.”

Oleander straightened their vest with a dignified tug. Their pride unaffected, Oleander crossed one arm in front of them, the other behind, and executed a sharp, contrite bow. Then straightened and met her eye with bold respect.

Ella was rendered quite speechless. Silence reigned, until Ella realized Kieran was looking at her expectantly, waiting to see if she would accept.

“Allow me to offer my sincerest apologies at having compelled you, Your Grace. At the time, I believed the risk of angering Kieran was a small but worthy sacrifice to best impart my warning; but now I see my mistake. I did not consider the distress it would impart upon you, and that I truly regret. We Fae may be all too accustomed to thoughtless cruelty even amongst ourselves, but certainly we grow callous to it. And give far less concern to magicless mortals who have no power to protect themselves from us. No matter my ultimate purpose, Kieran is quite correct. You should not need to fear members of your own court in your own palace. Such a mistake will not happen again. This I swear."

“Of course,” Ella said somewhat breathlessly. “We perhaps got off on the wrong foot, Oleander. But I do appreciate that you risked Kieran’s wrath to try to protect me, in your own way. ”

One corner of Oleander’s mouth tugged upward just slightly, and Oleander shot Kieran a look of smug victory, as if they were silently saying, “You see? Ella understands.”

“Don’t be too angry at them, Kieran,” Ella said, smiling and winding her arm through his. “I expect most Fae wouldn’t understand how much worse it is for mortals to be inflicted with magic. I imagine you all likely get rather accustomed to cursing each other at a young age.”

Kieran huffed, unamused. “Something like that.”

“Well, they seem sufficiently contrite. And we can’t afford to chase off your one and only friend.”

Ella and Oleander shared a look then. Ella, a small smile of forgiveness and understanding; Oleander, a gleam of amusement mingling with newfound respect.

Kieran sighed shortly. “Fine. You are forgiven. But do not think to impose your will upon her again, no matter how good your intentions. For though Ella may be a singularly lenient person, this will be the one and only time I offer forgiveness.”

“Then we are again on equal footing, my old friend,” Oleander said.

To Ella’s surprise, Kieran broke into laughter, clapped them on the shoulder, and the tension was gone like snow in sunshine.  

“Come on, then,” Kieran said to them both, tightening his bicep to tuck Ella's hand more tightly into his side.

Oleander raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You mean for me to accompany you to the Sun Palace? My reputation has barely recovered. I'm not certain now is the best time for me to–”

Kieran took hold of Oleander’s shoulder and bodily steered them in the direction of the carriage, escorting Ella down the hall. “Enough of your dithering, Oleander. Now is as good a time as any. I shall need both of you to fortify me as we face those golden gates again.”

Kieran would hear no more complaint, and so Oleander acquiesced with a sigh, shooting Ella a look behind Kieran’s back. Ella hid a giggle into her palm, feeling somewhat better than she had before.

Together, Moon Court rode out toward the Sun Palace, each of them bracing to return to a place that held bad memories for them all, ready to face their demons as a united front.

[lemonhemlock]

Having trouble with the link but I read your post about Aegon II as King

Sidebar: How wild is it that Rhaenrya's bastards have some of us somewhat slapping Cersei on the back cause at least HER bastards were passable. Also her reactions make us reluctantly respect her.

Much like Rhaenyra, she believes that she is entitled to putting her bastards on the throne because her blood is superior. She's better than everyone else. Cersei chose Jaime because she saw him as her other half. He is an extension of her and as fucked up as that whole thing is, at least they have similar traits (got me out here advocating for incest). She could easily make the argument that her children look like her. Past Baratheon-Lannister unions showed Baratheon ene was superior? Well her kids are outliers. Frankly these claims are disgusting and how dare they question her virtue and honor.

Cersei is a bamf with teeth and she's not afraid to bite.

Rhaenryas reaction is to a)run and hide at Dragonstone

B) pull a Draco Malfoy by making sure her father hears about this. Hiding behind him.

Cersei never hid behind anyone. And she wasn't Heiress.

Rhaenrya couldn't be bothered to find a man with valerian features to pass her children as legitimate. For crying at loud the mad king knew to look in Essos for people like this. Was she lazy or just plain stupid? She had to pick someone who looks nothing like her husband's family.

Sorry but I cant respect her hustle. Cersei might be an awful person but I kinda like her and have to give her props sometimes, even though she can be dumb at times. At least she's active.

Rhaenryas passiveness and stupidity at the most basic things makes it hard to have that same "I dislike you but I'm putting respect in your name "

Hi there, thank you for reading!

I find Cersei's predicament here a lot more sympathetic to begin with. Not loving her is one thing, but Robert rapes her and is repeatedly violent with her. This is not about awkwardness or being inconvenienced. The thought of bearing his children is physically repugnant to Cersei. She has Jaime help her get an abortion when he does eventually impregnate her. I cam empathize with her desire to exercise autonomy over her own body. Cersei believes Robert doesn't deserve to have heirs and I have to agree with her. Cersei takes her revenge by appropriating his dynasty and placing her perfectly Lannister children on the throne. It does feel like poetic justice for the disrespected, long-suffering wife, raging at the confines of her cage.

Moreover, Cersei had no say in her marriage. Her father wanted her to be queen no matter what, so here she is. She never had an ounce of the freedom and the opportunities Rhaenyra is awarded. Viserys allows Rhaenyra to marry whomever she chooses, organizes a royal progress for her and yet she complains, insults her suitors and comes back home early. Even then, Viserys finds a good husband for her. Being married to a gay man is not ideal in the least, but Laenor is kind and gentle, respects Rhaenyra and would never hurt her.

I'm really not trying to be crass here, but does anyone remember Renly boasting he's going to get Margaery pregnant within a year? Gay people can have children and have been doing it naturally over the course of history, too.

Anyway, on that indelicate note, merry Christmas & happy holidays!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Ok, having sat with it and thought about it, I want to talk about Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story for a sec.

There are things the show does astoundingly well. Everything about young Lady Danbury and young Charlotte, for one. The handling of women's relationships, sex, women's pleasure and desire, and sex after a marriage has ended were all done extraordinarily well. I particularly liked the interactions between Regency Lady Danbury and Regency Lady Bridgerton where they really talked openly about sharing their stories and talked as openly as possible about wanting sex and experiencing desire. All of this was done well and spoke to the whole of women's experience, it didn't suddenly kneecap sex and sexuality just because you're not 18 with a mint condition uterus anymore.

I think there were also things the show did really poorly. For one, I think not explaining where Reynolds disappeared to between the past and present is generously a massive plot hole and at worst a stealth version of the bury your gays trope. We objectively spent too much time with Reynolds and Brimsely and their relationship to not have some explanation of what happened there.

I also think that the handling of George's "madness" (and I use the term intentionally here, not with its sanist modern connotations but because that would have been the historical term and we don't have a more specific term to apply to it. I believe some scholars also use mad and madness in a reclaimed sense, so I also choose to give the show the benefit of that doubt and use both the historical and reclaimed sense. Terminology can get tricky, so I wanted to explain myself here.) Doubled down on ableist assumptions and tropes in subtle but nonetheless present ways. I won't get too deep into analysis here because I'm typing on my phone and that's a pain, but examples include the following:

- George's mother tends to infantilize him, insist that he is dangerous, and facilitates both the actual torture of her son and the removal of his bodily autonomy where his mental health and madness is concerned. Then the show frames it as a concerned parent looking after her child--who is a grown ass man at this point--and does not really go out of its way to say that she or the social assumptions and expectations are in the wrong for their treatment of George. The doctor gets blamed for being a torturer by Charlotre, which he absolutely is, but there lacks an indictment of the systems and social mores that prompt their treatment of George. It's not enough to point a finger at an individual and say "we removed the bad man, it's all better now." There are norms and systems involved in the harm that were not addressed, and we cannot allow parental mistreatment of disabled kids to go without condemnation.

- the show goes out of its way to tell us over and over and over that George is somehow dangerous, that he might hurt himself or others. His knives are dull. His windows are sealed shut. There are locks everywhere. You know what the show doesn't do? It doesn't support the gazillion number of times that someone says the George might hurt someone with evidence. Statistically speaking, disabled people are far more likely to experience violence than to perpetrate it, and while the show muddies this a bit with Charlotte's actions and attitudes toward George, there is a tacit reiteration of the myth that mad people are dangerous. It is the year of our lord 2023. We cannot keep spreading this myth.

- So this might be subjective, but I think the fact that every time George frames how.own experience of madness as lesser, a deficit, or a burden really highlights internalized ableism and the more general ableist and medical model framing of disability as a deficit that is located in an individual body and must be "fixed." I don't love that messaging, and as a chronically ill woman, I do not love it when characters in my media bemoan how much of a burden they are to everyone around them. That's ableist, pure and simple, and again, we cannot keep reiterating and reaffirming that this kind of framing is acceptable. It's not.

- There was also a bit of a narrative inclination to lean on the "the live of the right person can fix/mitigate a mental illness" which like...don't imply that meds and humane treatments aren't important. They are. Drink your water, take your meds.

I think that overall, Queen Charlotte did some amazing work with women's empowerment and Charlotte herself did some work to disrupt some ableist assumptions (I admit, I appreciated her line "let him be mad, if madness is what he needs." Thank you for meeting him where he was and for yeeting Dr. Evil's ass to the curb. Also, they didn't magically cure Goerge! Or kill him! Low bar, and probably only because of show continuity, but credit where credit is due with not leaning into the kill or cure trope.). That said, there were some insidious things that reiterated and reaffirmed ableist tropes and assumptions, and I would wish for those to be handled better on future.

[savagewildnerness]

Well, that’s The Tale of the Body Thief re-read.

I enjoyed it more than I remembered, although I still don’t enjoy Lestat-not in his body. Also, I confess - I just love the historical setting of earlier books & the purity of young-Lestat’s thought… & at times it feels the extremities of rape(s) in this novel compensate for the lack of gothic setting in some way, which makes me sad. Also, the religious questioning/themes in it felt rather confused to me. I guess that is to come to fuller fruition very soon, though…

Of course, the inclusion of rape ties into themes of bodily autonomy as well as touching on the viscousness of men & that vampires are by far from the only monsters… we ought to look inside our corrupt & flawed selves too. And we should consider our own capacity for evil. Or at least times when we fail to do good.

The most interesting thing about the book to me, though, is the whole strong & deep tide underlying the entire novel - that Lestat is suicidal… he tries to pull away from the notion & then he leans into it over & over again, as people look on him, or pull away & see in sorrow or in horror: protectively, fearfully or angrily - they see what he does not see within himself.

And no wonder really, after Akasha & the horror & trauma of all of that as well as the new level of invincibility that there’s a despair in Lestat which is absolutely still there at the end of the novel.

It’s very interesting how strong this underlying theme is to me, reading this book now. I don’t know if I noticed it this much when I first read. But I guess I was very young. I honestly don’t remember much at all about my first read of this book. Compared to other books I read only once too, but remember at least something of, this had gone from my mind… but it was a lot more interesting a re-read than I had anticipated. So: yay?

I mean, it’s not The Vampire Lestat or Queen of the Damned, but I’d read it again now.

Let’s end on a question.

[matchaflavored]

what was it abt trrd that makes u rly like their dynamic? what tropes do they hit on the viola barometer

OMG yani... u r seriously a real one. love u. I will talk in place of myself from three years ago, when I was in that weird period where I was testing the waters between character dynamics in twst. The very first episode with Heartslabyul absolutely hit me like a truck. I wasn't really expecting the writing to be as compelling as it was (despite being a Yana fan and being diehard for her work, the Disney branding made me not take it very seriously), and I was like, oh wow, realistic toxic relationships between teenagers with no autonomy over their emotions and circumstances?! This rules! And you can apply this to a lot of the dynamics in twst, but besides the fact that treyrid is the very first one you encounter, I find Trey himself a refreshingly unique character. I guess a lot of people enjoy more emotionally transparent characters, because it feels affirming and enjoyable to see certain dynamics expressed a certain way, but when there was only like four stories out for each character I was like 'Wow, for a guy who gets defensive about people questioning him about Riddle, a lot of the fundamentals of his character and motivations revolves around Riddle!'. 'But Viola! He's been openly exasperated, dare I say, even annoyed at Riddle! And not in the funny bickering yaoi way, also doesn't placating as a motivation make Trey's feelings towards Riddle artificial!' I was super surprised too when I read his stories (in a good way)! Can this man both love someone and resent what he's going through by proxy of that person's uncontrollable circumstances? The answer is yes! And so much material support these conflicting feelings that I feel like are attuned to more realistic relationships. That was, by far, the biggest appeal to me. Conflict in relationships can be more than just aimless bickering but "oh the bickering is actually because they totes have the hots for each other!". It's unspoken words, self-doubt... it's questioning who you are and who they are. Their relationship is imperfect, by account of something that is out of their control, but they choose to care and support one another unconditionally. Trope wise... treyrid was (is? it's more was) somewhat a codependency, in which Riddle used Trey as an emotional tether and Trey took advantage of Riddle's superficial vices in order to subdue his guilt over he and Riddle's shared trauma. A queen and her knight... but in the end, both of them know they're above those experiences and the influence they have in each other's lives is definitely a net positive. Omg I know you don't go here but even if this is like the baseline there's still so much about them that makes me go crazy... You know how Kircheis met Reinhard as a kid and went 'I, with my tiny child body, have decided that I will dedicate my life to support this other kid whose life sucks because I see that they are more than that.' That is literally what happened with Trey and Riddle when they were kids. Insane power tripped pretty boy with his kind gentle giant friend who acts as his moral compass for a majority of their appearances together. Said friend also challenged pretty boy's authority and pretty boy felt betrayed because they felt like the unconditional bond they had was breaking. Good stuff.