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urgonnaneedabiggership · 1 year

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NAMOR (MCU) X MEXICAN!OC

MASTERLIST

A/N: Remember you can find this fanfic on AO3 right here. Any feedback and/or comments are greatly appreciated <3 If you want to be added to the taglist, just say so!

As always, Mayan and Spanish translations are at the end of each sentence.

Warnings: Violence, mentions of weapons, death and un-aliving people. Language.

Word count: 4657

The water was incredibly cold. It relentlessly hit Mercedes’ legs as she waded through the river, making her wish they could’ve crossed the river using their truck. But Cruz was right when he said it could give their position away. Still, every inch of her limbs was numb at that point. She didn’t know whether it was from excitement or fear.

This was it. The last one.

After searching for years, talking to the right people, bribes here and there, and several break-ins, they’d managed to collect the names of the men who killed her father. The men who sold their comrades to the enemy, provided names, strategic locations, and numbers in exchange for money or political positions. They might as well have sold their souls to the devil. And now she was coming to collect the last one.

Every minute of training, every broken bone, and night terror would’ve been worth it by sunrise. Mercedes stopped when she heard a loud splash behind her and quickly spun around to find Cruz had slipped once again.

“¿Estás bien?” She asked. Cruz shot a glare at her that made her decide she wouldn’t ask again. Are you okay?

Stubborn old man. They both knew his best days were far behind them. Hell, he was about forty-something when he first started training her. Now he was close to sixty. Still, he refused to let her go alone.

“A mí me vale madres que te sepas cuidar sola, Merceditas” he’d asserted, “tu papá no sólo era tu papá, era mi compadre,” "I don't give a shit if you can take care of yourself, Merceditas. Your dad wasn't just your dad, he was my friend."

Still, she knew he was there mainly to keep an eye on her, not because he’d spent the last five years of his life fantasizing about this moment. About finally being able to sleep without hearing her own desperate cries the day she’d lost her father every time he closed his eyes.

“¿Dónde dices que está escondido ese pendejo?” Sadie asked quietly. Where did you say that asshole is hiding?

“Allá enfrentito se ve una luz,” Cruz replied, pointing with his finger, “es una casa de verano que se compró para vivir con la querida que tiene aquí.” "Right straight ahead there's a light. It's a summer house he bought to live with the lover he has here."

They gained access through a forgotten old sewage pipe that was connected to the river. There were several security cameras around the house, and yet they knew they had been deactivated that morning to conceal the arrival of a certain female guest.

He had instructed security and the help not to knock on the door unless he requested them because of the same reason. It sounded too easy to be true…

Because it was.

When they reached the side of the house they realized several armed men were guarding the entrance and circling the house

“Le han de haber dicho que alguien venía,” "They must've told him someone was coming,"

The girl cursed quietly and pursed her lips thoughtfully, impatiently tapping the side of her weapon.

“Si ya le advirtieron podría irse del estado o del país.” Cruz reminded her, “Es ahora o nunca,” "If they already warned him he could leave the state or the country. It's now or never."

“No. Es muy arriesgado,” She replied, shaking her head negatively, though she knew he was right. And if he did leave the country, who knew for how long he could stay there. "No. It's too risky."

Cruz dropped the bag he had brought and started searching for something inside.

“¿Confías en mí, chula?” He asked, looking up for a second. "Do you trust me, sweetheart?"

“Sabes que sí, ¿por?” Mercedes looked over his shoulder in vain. He was already standing up. "You know I do. Why?"

“Vete para el otro lado de casa y entra por la ventana. Voy a tratar de distraerlos en lo que entras. Pero es entrar a lo que vas, ¿entendiste? Cinco minutos y te veo en la puerta de enfrente. Espera mi señal.” "Go to the other side of the house and go in through the window. I'll try to distract them while you go in. But you go straight in and do you thing, understood? Five minutes and I'll see you at the front door. Wait for my signal."

“Espérate, no,” Sadie grabbed his arm, “Son un chingo, ¿cómo crees?” "No, wait. There's too many of them, no way."

“Escúchame bien, Mercedes. Si no lo haces ahorita, tal vez no lo hagas nunca,” Cruz dictated, remarking every word, “Tú dime vámonos y nos vamos, pero tienes diez segundos para decidir.” "Listen to me, Mercedes. If you don't do this now, you may never do it. Tell me if you want to leave, and we leave, but you have ten seconds to make up your mind."

Mercedes looked at the guards again. Three were in the front door, and another three were circling the house. Six weren’t that many. Cruz would distract them and hide in the surrounding jungle, which they knew way better than them. Five minutes. She could do it. She could avenge her father. And every one that died that day, she mentally reminded herself.

“Cinco minutos. Ni uno más,” She affirmed. Cruz nodded and they each took off in a different direction. "Five minutes. Not one more."

Mercedes’ heart was beating painfully fast as she hid under the bushes right in front of the targeted window. Only two minutes had passed since she parted ways with Cruz, but it felt like two hours. The waiting was cut short by the sound of a loud explosion. She managed to see the orange glow of flames coming from the other side of the house and smiled to herself. Thank God for Molotov cocktails. She rushed to the wall before her and started to climb it as fast as she could until her limbs burned from exhaustion. Of course the asshole could afford a two-story house with his fucking blood money. She finally reached the window and smashed it open. Screw stealth. They knew they were under attack and it was a matter of minutes until they evacuated their boss. The girl fell to the floor and scrambled to her feet just in time to see a bullet hit the wall above her head. Mercedes aimed her weapon and fired several shots before hiding behind a desk while someone else kept firing rounds at her. Three minutes left.

Sadie looked at the hole the gun had left on the wall. That didn’t sound like a long weapon. If she had to guess, she was probably going against a Glock 19. Mercedes mentally did some numbers in her head and realized they had about three shots left until they had to reload. Another two rounds hit the desk, making her flinch. Only one left, and she was running out of time. Mercedes took a stapler next to her leg and threw it to make noise. The last round flew next to her, grazing her leg. She bit her lip to hold the painful scream that was about to leave her mouth. Two minutes left. The girl looked over the desk and noticed a large table being pulled by someone from behind as a makeshift shield. Bingo.

Quickly aiming her rifle, she nearly emptied the cartridge on the table, knowing there was no way she’d miss but not wanting to take any chances. Her worries proved to be unfounded when the splintered table fell to the floor. However, she was surprised to see behind it not one but two people: a man, and a woman. She sighed, remembering Cruz had told her he used this house as a meeting point with his lover.

This was the part she hated most: trying to remind herself that this was war after all. Some people would get caught in the crossfire. It was sad, but there was no point in kicking herself about it. That woman had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there was nothing that could be done now.

Anyway, she had less than one minute. Suddenly, a sound coming from the other side of the locked door caught her attention, making her aim for the door on instinct. Slowly, she recognized the sound to be a voice, and it was crying.

“¿Mami? ¿Papi está despierto?” "Mommy? Is daddy awake?"

It was a boy. He didn’t sound older than six. He kept calling for the man and the woman that laid on the floor. Then, another sound flooded Mercedes’ ears. It was the horn of Cruz’s truck. She had run out of time.

And yet, she found herself unable to move. The boy kept crying and was now banging on the bedroom door. It wouldn’t take long for someone to hear him and discover her, but she felt as if her feet had merged with the bloody carpet. The horn kept resounding amidst gunfire until it was heard right outside of the window. That seemed to wake Mercedes from her trance right as another pair of footsteps approached the door. She dove out of the window and quickly climbed down, falling awkwardly on the trunk of the truck. The girl banged on the roof and as soon as she did, Cruz spun the wheel and sent them speeding into the tree line.

“Bájate. Hay que seguir a pie,” Cruz ordered, “Sólo se me escaparon dos, pero no sabemos si van a pedir refuerzos. No han de tardar en descubrir qué le pasó a su patrón.” "Get out. We have to keep going on foot. Only two escaped, but we don't know if they will call for reinforcements. It won't be long before they find out what happened to their employer."

They descended from the truck. Even if they did call for reinforcements, Mercedes and Cruz could easily lose them in the thick jungle. Their target wasn’t relevant enough for them to keep chasing them for more than a couple of months, tops. They’d just have to lay low until then.

“Perdóname,” She apologized, limping forward. Moni would have to clean and maybe stitch that when they got back, “Ya iba a salir pero escuché que…” "I'm sorry. I was on my way out but I heard..."

Her voice trailed off when she noticed him falling behind. Mercedes smiled softly and went to help him.

“Ven, deja te ayudo,” She said, throwing his arm around her shoulders and supporting his stomach with her hand. Suddenly, she felt something odd on her skin. Something warm and liquid. Her eyes darted down to his stomach to confirm her worst fears just as Cruz collapsed on her shoulder. "Here, I'll help you."

“Hey, hey, no, no, no, no me vayas a salir con esto,” Mercedes snapped, carefully sitting him on the ground and carefully removing his shirt. He muttered something very quietly, and she had to lean in very close to hear him. "Hey, hey, no, no, no, don't pull this on me."

“Mijita, salió por la espalda. Lo sentí.” "Mijita, it came out through the back. I felt it."

Cruz never called her mijita. That was her aunt Moni, not him. She was Merceditas, chula, pinche escuincla when he got mad.

But now he didn’t sound mad. He sounded extremely tired.

“No te apures, Cruz, deja te pongo algo y cuando lleguemos con mi tía ella te va a curar, ¿sí?” She comforted him while ripping his shirt to use as a makeshift gauze on his wound, but there was so much blood that soon enough she’d used up all his shirt and could feel the blood soaking through her clothes. "Don't worry, Cruz, let me put something on you and when we get to my aunt's she will cure you, okay?"

“Ya déjalo, chula.” He insisted, grabbing her hand, his voice barely a whisper, “Dile a tu tía que no se vaya a enojar porque perdí la camioneta,” He smiled, but a painful grin replaced it too quickly for it to be comforting. "Leave it, sweetheart. Tell your aunt to not be mad because I lost the truck."

“A la chingada la camioneta, yo te compro otra, te llevo a escogerla, ¿sí? Nos vamos a Tuxtla con mi Chiich y nos compramos una casa, otra camioneta, y me busco un trabajo para que puedas quedarte en casa con mi tía en lo que te curas, ¿va? ” Mercedes had started crying at this point. She thought he’d admonish her for crying, saying that crying was for women. No matter how much she insisted on how stupid he sounded since she was a woman. That old-timer son of a bitch could be hopelessly sexist sometimes. But with his daughter choosing to go to college and moving out without ever holding a real weapon, Mercedes knew he probably acted like that because she was the closest thing he ever had to a son. "Fuck the truck, I'll buy you another one, and I'll take you to pick it, okay? We'll go to Tuxtla with my Chiich and buy a house, another truck, and I'll look for a job so you can stay home with my aunt while you heal, okay?"

What she didn’t expect was for him to start crying as well.

“Ya deja estas cosas, ¿sí, chula?” He pleaded, lifting his hand to place a strand of hair behind her ear, “Vete a otro lado, sigue jugando con tu cámara o haz lo que quieras de tu vida, pero ya no le sigas a esto,” "Quit all of this, sweetheart. Go somewhere else, keep fooling around with your camera or do whatever you want with your life, but quit all of this stuff."

“No, ya no le sigo a esto pero por favor tío vámonos juntos,” She rested her head against the top of his, sobbing uncontrollably, “No te quedes aquí tío, por favor, tu no te quedes aquí también,” "Fine, I'll quit this but please uncle, let's leave together. Don't stay here uncle, please, don't stay here too,"

“Déjame en el río, Merceditas,” He calmly instructed, barely pronouncing the words, by now, “Ves que llega a la costa donde nací y le dije a tu tía que cuando yo muriera…” "Leave me in the river, Merceditas. Remember it reaches the coast where I was born, and I told your aunt that when I died..."

He didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Namor opened his eyes and found himself staring at the ceiling again. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t get to sleep. He rarely slept on the surface for too long, much less far away from his home. When they arrived at the house, it was already dark. Moni had greeted them announcing she had prepared a bedroom for them to stay in before leading them upstairs. The fearless Talokanil leader had found himself praying to every deity he knew for the woman to be devoted enough to her own god’s principles to have set two separate beds for them. While they had technically already slept in the same room more than once, the mere thought of sleeping in the same bed, in such proximity to her, filled him with an unexplainable mix of terror and curiosity. He wondered whether she moved a lot in her sleep, or whether she always had nightmares. Or if those nightmares persisted even when she didn’t sleep on her own. Would they stop, if he held her hand as he’d done earlier? If he held her close enough for her to realize she wasn’t alone, feel his tranquil breathing, would that soothe her?

That was when the terror kicked in and he cleared his mind of such thoughts.

Fortunately, Moni was enough of a Catholic to keep them in separate beds. The bedroom was divided into two sections by the color of the walls: white and turquoise.

The turquoise side, which Namor assumed had belonged to Mercedes since she’d claimed the bed the minute they walked in, was filled with band posters and a couple of diplomas accrediting her participation in several photography contests, interspersed with more photographs of her in different stages of her life. There was a sculpture of a manatee holding a transparent sphere resting on the nightstand, whose nose she pressed to reveal it was actually a lamp. Right next to it stood two pictures: one of a smiling man with the same large dark eyes as her, and a smaller, older one, of a very pretty young woman with long, black hair sitting on a cliff next to the sea.

The white side had framed pictures of the Mercedes and the younger girl in the portrait downstairs, Cruz and Moni’s daughter. It was also filled with dolls from all over the world. Japanese, Russian, a vintage Barbie, and many more. Right above the collection, hanging from the wall, was a ceramic hand-painted cross. When Sadie turned her back to him, Namor had removed it and, carefully enough not to break it, placed it inside the top drawer of the nightstand.

For a tiny, paranoic moment, he blamed his inability to sleep on the stupid cross and how uncomfortable he felt around it. He turned around to take it out of the drawer and place it on Mercedes’ side of the room. Then he noticed her bed was empty. Namor wondered if it was a trick of the dim light that was beginning to stream through the window, so he walked to the other side of the room to confirm it. He looked out of the window next to the bed and saw her outside, sitting next to the river they’d crossed. The current was way stronger now than when they’d arrived, and a gust of air entered the room. Namor grabbed the jacket he’d been wearing earlier and made his way downstairs and outside.

“What are you doing here?” He asked when he reached her side to not startle her, handing her the jacket.

“Aren’t you cold?” Mercedes looked at the skin that the flimsy white tank top wasn’t covering. He didn’t even have goosebumps, and she wondered whether his skin felt warm. If she asked, maybe he’d let her check. She cleared her throat and moved to make a spot for him.

“It’s alright. Please, take it.” He insisted as he sat down. She quietly thanked him and slid the jacket on.

Even if he chose to remain silent, Mercedes could sense there was something he wanted to say, even if she didn’t know what that could be.

“Had you ever been this far from the sea?” She asked, trying to make him feel more comfortable.

“Only a few times,” He dryly admitted, “What are you doing out here?”

“Why do you watch me when I sleep?” She blurted out as soon as he finished speaking, her eyes never leaving the loud surging water.

Namor didn’t seem surprised to hear her question. At least, he didn’t put on the fake shocked expression of someone who has just been caught.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Kän-än,” Sadie insisted, “I was raised by a soldier in the middle of the jungle. I can feel when something is watching me while I sleep.”

“I’m just standing guard. These are foreign lands, you can’t expect me to sleep soundly…”

“You did it back in Talokan too, before I was shot.”

This statement did take him by surprise. He scanned his brain for another excuse. He could say he was making sure she wouldn’t attempt to escape. It sounded reasonable enough.

“Why would I do that?” He decided to play it safe and answer with another question. Mercedes remained silent and shrugged, hugging her knees close to her chest and resting her chin on them.

“I watched you too, sometimes, you know?” She admitted, “Since the first night you stayed in my room. You look very different when you’re asleep.”

How so? The question ached in his chest, but he struggled to remain silent. Different how? Why had she watched him? Namor took a deep breath, trying to regain control of his emotions.

“When I first met you, there was always this…frown on your face, whenever we spoke,” She recalled with a soft chuckle, tracing with her finger on her own forehead the place where a small wrinkle formed on his, “It only disappeared when you slept. I liked seeing you like that. I don’t know what you dream about, but some nights there would even be a slight smile on your lips. And it helped me remember every harsh glare, and word that you said to me when I was a prisoner, didn’t mean you were a hateful person. You didn’t hate me. You hated the threat I represented to what you loved, to your people. You call them your children, and you acted like a father.”

Mercedes had noticed so much more. The way the muscles of his shoulders flexed with every soft breath, the slight curve of his back, and how delicate it looked in contrast to how strong he was. One day, he’d shifted positions to lay on his stomach and stretched his arms around his pillow with a soft, tired groan. Those few seconds had intrusively plagued her mind for at least one week.

But he didn’t need to know any of that.

“Speaking of danger,” He cleared his throat, “I read the documents we recovered from the ship while you were unconscious.”

“Really? What did you find?” Mercedes asked, her heart surprisingly slowing down despite the importance of the new subject.

“You were mostly right. The idea was to use the spores in their raw form as a biological weapon of sorts. It’s very unstable, so they weren’t surprised when your entire team went missing. They had another on standby before you even entered the cave. The camera they gave you was linked to the laptop so they didn’t need you to come back…”

“Wait,” She interrupted him, “What happened to the laptop? It was also in the backpack.”

“After its little submarine trip, it obviously didn’t make it but my people are working on recovering the information it contained.”

“Any idea of how long it will take them?” She asked urgently. She needed to know the answer to the last question she’d asked Wexler. Were there more members to whatever group they were? Had the secret of her Chiich’s location sunk to the depths of the sea with them? But Namor shook his head apologetically. He noticed the way her eyes filled with worry.

“We could take her with us, nothing would happen to her in my domains.” He suggested, placing his hand on top of hers in a soothing manner.

“No, we can’t” Mercedes replied, shaking her head, “Her mind won’t resist her being taken away from everything she knows and loves. She must be protected here.”

She wasn’t done talking, but Namor didn’t want to hear what she had to say.

“Come on, we need to go back to the house. Get some sleep for tomorrow’s journey,”

“Kän-än, listen to me…”

“It’s very late, whatever you want to tell me can wait until…”

“I’m not going back with you.”

There it was. The uncomfortable truth that had been circling both their thoughts since they arrived was now out.

“Yes, you are.” He adamantly stated. Obviously, she didn’t like the tone.

“Or what? Are you going to take me there by force and turn me into a prisoner again?”

“Do not hold that against me, you just told me…”

“Wake up, Namor, the situation has changed!” She snapped back, raising her voice a little, “Now you know why I have to stay!”

“So that’s how it is? Whenever I do or say something you don’t like I’m the enemy again?”

“No, that’s not what I…” She started to apologize before changing her mind, “Don’t change the subject! Why is it that you’re so against me staying? And don’t tell me it’s because you’re afraid somebody would find out about Talokan. You should know by now that I’d be willing to vanish from the face of the Earth before revealing anything, nobody would find me…”

“I don’t doubt your loyalty anymore, Xmeech,” He assured.

“Then what is it? Even if they tortured me, I can take…” She argued back, standing up exasperated.

“Do not say that ever again,” He spoke in a tone so grave and angry she stopped talking instantly. Namor stood up slowly. Maybe he didn’t tower over her, but the way he approached the girl until his face was just inches away from her was intimidating enough to render her silent, “Look at me.”

It was an order. Although Mercedes was looking at him, she knew he didn’t mean for her to stare at him, but rather to actually look. To analyze his eyes and his face in search of any traces of a lie. Once he was satisfied with the amount of attention, he finally spoke, his voice with the same deep emotion as before, emphasizing every word that left his lips. She had to actively keep her eyes on his to avoid her gaze to focus on other, more inconvenient, parts of his face.

“I would never allow that to happen.”

“Then let me stay. Please.” She begged, barely louder than a whisper.

“I can’t, Xmeech,” He repeated with a tired sigh, pulling away from her.

At the limit of her patience, Mercedes was about to start arguing again when a voice was heard coming from the door.

“¡Virgen Santísima! ¿Qué están haciendo allá afuera con este frío?” Moni approached them hurriedly, wearing a blanket over her pajamas. "¡Virgen Santísima! What are you doing out there with this cold?"

“Nada, tía Moni. Salimos por aire.” Mercedes explained, with a faint, forced smile. "Nothing, aunt Moni. We came out for air,"

She didn’t look too convinced, her gaze shifting between both of them suspiciously. But there were more important matters at hand.

“Cómo tú digas, mi amor. Vamos, métanse a la casa que tenemos mucho que hacer.” "Whatever you say, my love. Come on you two, get inside the house, we have lots to do."

She repeated the end of her aunt’s sentence, looking at her questioningly. Moni laughed it off and shook her head.

“Ay, mija, ni yo que estoy vieja tengo tan mala memoria. Hoy es la fiesta del pueblo. Te vas a quedar, ¿verdad? Toñita va a ser reina de las flores.” "Ay, mija, not even old me has such a bad memory. Today is the town festival. You're going to stay, right? Toñita is going to be queen of flowers."

“¿Toñita va a venir?” Mercedes asked, excitedly. She turned back to Namor, disappointed they couldn’t finish their conversation but unwilling to budge. "Toñita is coming?"

“K’a’abet in p’áatal,” "I have to stay."

“A’alej ka’ap’éel k’iin. Yaan u taal u kaxant k.” "We said two days. They will come looking for us."

“To’on ko’on biin ka’aka’at yéetel k k’uuchul áak’ab,” "We’ll leave in the afternoon and arrive at nightfall."

Namor looked at her, not fully convinced. But her last statement meant she was willing to go with him if he let her stay just for today. Just like that? That didn’t sound like her.

“Yaan wáaj a k’aax u púuts’ul ka’a? A’al ti’ teen u jaajil” "Will you try to escape again? Tell me the truth."

“Ma’. Leti’ jump’éel jóok’ chi’.” "No. I promise."

He looked at her once again. Namor couldn’t help but remember the last time he’d blindly trusted her like this, and he’d ended up having to board a ship to save her while fighting a hangover.

“Yaan k yaantal tu Talokan lee áak’aba’. Ma’alo’ob?” "We have to be back in Talokan tonight. Alright?"

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niennandil-me-writes · 3 months

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something new, something blue

cn: anxiety, abusive parents mention, cannibalism mention in an academic context, nsfw at the end

[my secret santa gift for @constantlytiredghost. November belongs to them.]

Wilhelmina sat bent over her studies, trying to take notes, trying to compare three different sources, trying to stay focused. She had always struggled with working while someone else was in the room, preferring the solitude and silence of her empty study. Not that she would have preferred to be alone right now. It had turned out she was even more distracted when the person with her was one she actually liked.

Last time Wilhelmina had looked behind her, which was about five minutes ago, November had been sitting on her bed, surrounded by the books she had brought from the library, most of them on funerary rites (“Wilhelmina, did you know about this clan of Yuan-Ti that eats their dead?” She had known about it, but still listened to November read her the passage and talk about similar accounts she had heard, wondering aloud whether the souls of the dead were watching over their cooks’ shoulder…).

Now she heard November stand up, walk around the room. She realized she’d been reading the same sentence for the tenth time, when she felt something graze her left horn. A bit puzzled, she looked up at November, or rather at her hat.

“Sorry,” the blue-clad cleric said. “I didn’t mean to distract you.”

“You aren’t – I mean – Don’t worry about it. I should just…”

“It’s just that you said you’d be ready in ten minutes, and that was half an hour ago.”

“Oh, right…” Wilhelmina bit her lip.

“I don’t want to interrupt your work,” November said gently. “But I’m getting hungry.” She tilted her head, winced, no doubt remembering their talk a few days back. “Or at least, I could do with a snack right now.”

“Uhm, sure, let’s go.” Wilhelmina stood up quickly. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting. Let me just get my bag. I think the cafeteria has zucchini cream soup today. It’s my favorite, I’m sure you’ll love it as well! Is something wrong?”

November had stopped in her tracks suddenly, frowning. “Not really,” she said, hesitantly. “I just thought we might go eat somewhere else today?”

“Do you not like zucchini soup?” Wilhelmina asked, alarmed.

“No, it’s nice. Just… you already showed me the cafeteria when we cooked our chili there.” November smiled. “I thought maybe you want to show me some other place?”

Wilhelmina avoided her gaze, looking out the window instead. Despite studying in this city for 8 years and working here for another 2, she had never been to any of its restaurants, except for the rare occasions where someone explicitly invited her, and she hadn’t found an excuse in time. Even then, she remembered mainly how nervous she had been. Not the food, or the address or name of the establishment.

“You don’t think it’s still dangerous to go outside, do you?” November asked carefully. “I’m sure the whole thing has blown over.”

“I’m not worried about that. Anymore,” Wilhelmina added quickly. Then, finally, she had an idea: “There’s the food vendors! Uhm, there’s a place on campus with a bunch of food tents, I’ve heard. I’ve never been, but, you know, we could try it out…”

“Sounds great,” November beamed. “I love street food!”

Wilhelmina was glad it was around midday, so all she had to do was follow the groups of university students to find this place she had heard of and walked past sometimes, but never really visited. Too scary was the prospect of a colleague walking over while she ate her lunch, or a food vendor making small talk.

The tents were arranged in a semicircle around a cluster of wooden tables and benches, where students sat together chattering, discussing their studies, some with their notes scattered across the table next to their wooden plates. It wasn’t just students, though. Wilhelmina recognized some of her colleagues among them, and quickly turned away.

November, meanwhile, had been looking around the yard with big eyes and an even bigger smile. “I don’t even know what I should get, those all look so good! Do you have any recommendations, Wilhelmina?”

“Uhm, not really,” she murmured. “I’ve never eaten here.”

“Hmmm…” November looked around again. “Do you like curry?”

Wilhelmina nodded courtly, and November took her hand to guide her towards a red tent staffed by Tabaxi stirring in big pots and turning skewers and dumplings on a grill.

“Anything I can do for you, love?” one of the servers asked Wilhelmina.

She looked helplessly to November, whose gaze was fixed on the blackboard spelling out the different foods on display. Wilhelmina felt the shadows drape deeper over her face as the Tabaxi looked at her impatiently.

To her relief, November finally looked up: “I’ll have the vegan curry with samosas. And extra spicy, please.”

The Tabaxi nodded and then looked at Wilhelmina expectantly, who mumbled a “the same”, and then quickly fumbled for her money before November could pay or argue. They got their food quickly. Not being able to find an empty table, and despite Wilhelmina’s protests, November spread out her cloak on the grass, so they could sit there comfortably.

“Can I have some of your carrots?” November asked.

“Hm?” Wilhelmina was pushing around her food. “Oh, yeah, sure.”

November tilted her head and looked at her bow. “Didn’t you also order samosas?”

“Wh- Yes, I did, but…”

They both looked down at Wilhelmina’s very samosa-less bowl.

“They probably just forgot it,” November said. “Should I come with you to ask for them?”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Wilhelmina said quickly.

“But you wanted samosas, right? And you paid for them? So you should get samosas.”

“Really, November, it’s okay.”

November quickly made a grab for Wilhelmina’s bowl and stood up to walk back to the food tent. Wilhelmina followed her, but then halted indecisively. In horror, he watched November tap the Tabaxi who had served them earlier on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, my friend ordered samosas with that?”

Wilhelmina wanted to call another “it’s fine” but could barely move her lips. Her entire body shrouded in shadows as the Tabaxi looked over to her with a furrowed brow. This was it. She would get yelled at. And she would yell back and maybe hurl a sliver of her psychic magic at the server and then run away and hide in the library, never to be seen again, never to see November agai–

“Sorry, love, I’ll take care of that right away.” The server took the bowl and went back inside the tent. November turned around and shot Wilhelmina a smile, soon rejoining her with the fixed order.

“Thanks,” Wilhelmina said meekly. “Uh, thanks for doing that for me.”

“No problem,” November beamed. “Just pay me back in carrots.”

The curry was delicious, the samosas even moreso. Spicy, but not too much to handle for Wilhelmina’s fire-resistant Tiefling body and November’s deadened nerves.

“Maybe we could go here more often,” Wilhelmina said hesitantly. “For as long as you’re staying, at least. This is much easier when I have you with me.” It wasn’t just the heat of the food that drove a blush to her cheeks.

November smiled. “It’s really nice here.” She had made herself comfortable in the grass, looking around. “What else have we planned for today?”

“Planned? What do you mean?”

“Well, you did say you’d show me around the city. And today seems a good day for that. Unless you are too busy?”

Wilhelmina had said that. Though she had mainly referred to the university, and had hoped she could put it off for a while.

“I… actually don’t know that many places here. I can show you around the university, though,” she suggested.

“That would be nice. But maybe, we could go some other place? I’ve already been around the university a bit.”

Wilhelmina contemplated what she could show November, while her partner sat patiently, cleaning out the last of her curry from the bowl.

“There’s a couple of parks,” Wilhelmina said hesitantly. “Oh! There’s the museum.” She lit up. “Numerous museums, actually. There’s the history museum, and the museum of arts, the museum of magic…” She looked at November, who was listening, smiling, most important of all: nodding.

“Sounds fun.”

“Erm, is there something specific you’d be interested in?” Wilhelmina asked.

“The museum of magic sounds interesting. But I’d let you choose.”

After returning their plates, Wilhelmina led the way through the streets of the city. November kept skipping ahead or falling behind to take in the sights, or even just a shop window. The second time she returned from such an exploit, November took Wilhelmina’s hand in hers, and the Tiefling was too flustered to launch into her lecture about the historical figure depicted by the statue November had just returned from.

It was strange. Wilhelmina had lived in this city for almost a decade – since she had started her studies. And yet right now, with November’s hand in hers, and her tail hesitantly laid around her partner’s hip, the ways seemed to stretch so much longer. The colors were brighter, the shop fronts more enticing and the attractions more exciting. There was a bittersweetness to it. Wilhelmina caught herself evading November’s eyes and quickening her step just a bit.

Walking into the well-known shadow of the old museum felt like a relief. She waived both November and herself through with her university sigil.

“Don’t we have to pay?” November asked.

“The university – the Librarian, that is – donated some artifacts to the museums in the past,” Wilhelmina explained. “University people and their companions have free entry.”

November looked around the room they had entered, which held ancient wands and staffs on the walls and in locked glass cabinets.

“Is any of the stuff here from you? I mean, did you bring something here back from an adventure? Like the Kryschos in the library?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Wilhelmina said. “I did help with the identification of a magical cloak, however.”

“Well, then lead the way.”

Wilhelmina needed a moment to understand before November took her hand again. She nodded and together they walked into a room displaying magical clothing. The cloak of interest was hanging spread-out at the wall among many others of a similar kind. All of them were frayed at the edges and had a few holes, which had made it hard to identify what magic exactly they held, especially since they couldn’t be used anymore without running danger of destroying them or oneself. With the artefact in question, it had taken weeks to even say for sure whether it was magic at all, or just had residue from a spell stuck to it in a very peculiar way, until they had figured out that the magic ran through one single strand of one single thread of the elaborate embroidery. After that discovery, the delicate process of analyzing the fibers one by one without damaging the fabric had been Wilhelmina’s job, which had taken the better part of two weeks.

“So what does it do?” November asked as Wilhelmina ended her description of the work.

“We, uh, still don’t really know,” Wilhelmina said a bit meekly. “The thread has way too many tears in it to say for certain. It’s almost like a text with words or whole paragraphs missing. We assume it’s a form of protective cloak. The magic is mostly Abjuration, with trace amounts of Evocation. There might be fire involved, though whether it protected from it or summoned fire in some way we cannot say for sure. The motives of the embroidery led us to believe it might be a part of a set of 5, or perhaps 6, though as far as we could find out, no others like it have ever been found. Further studies … what?”

November was grinning from ear to ear. Now she tilted her head. “What ‘what’?”

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“You’re really good at this,” November said. “Explaining things I mean. You’re like a walking book.”

There was that familiar sting in her chest. A feeling that made her want to lash out, want to hide away in a dark room, a shadow within shadows. It was an instinct she still couldn’t fully let go off. Sharp words at the tip of her tongue. Words she held back. But when did speak, it still came out a bit harsher than she had wanted it to: “I must be boring you. We should just look at other stuff.”

November’s smile didn’t disappear, but turned softer. “But I like hearing you explain things.”

Wilhelmina didn’t look up. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Why else would I be here?”

Yes, why were they here? Right back in her comfort space, surrounded by silence and musty air and relics, like they had never left the library at all, when November had wanted to see the city’s sights. Wilhelmina bit back those words as well, and instead looked around the room. “What do you want to hear about next?”

That was how they moved through the museum, room by room, November pointing out artifacts, and Wilhelmina recounting what she could remember of their history, meaning and the magic they held. They looked at a variety of magic foci, enchanted cloaks (“this one looks a bit like Tony’s, don’t you think?”), studied spell scrolls and books locked behind special glass that prevented them from being used to cast, and spell-storing stones and jewels. They spent about half an hour looking at different magic hats as well as normal hats that used to belong to powerful magic users, including a fedora that allegedly used to belong to Melf himself. November stared at that one for quite a while.

“Who do you think has better style?” she finally asked.

“You, undoubtedly,” Wilhelmina said.

“Hm? Oh, I meant between that witch hat over there and Melf’s,” November clarified. “But thanks, much appreciated.”

“Oh, I just meant…,” Wilhelmina stuttered.

“I still think I need some more trinkets and thingamajigs,” November said, considering the brim of the witch hat bending under the weight of various pieces of decoration.

It was only after a while of walking and talking her way through the museum that Wilhelmina noticed they were being followed around by four people. She halted in her explanation of a specific magic broomstick. Helplessly, she looked over at November, who laughed: “I think you got an audience.”

“Am I talking too loudly?” Wilhelmina whispered.

One of the other visitors, an Elf holding a notebook, lifted their hand: “Sorry, does it cost extra to join the tour?”

Wilhelmina felt the shadows drape over her face. “I’m not – I mean…” She trailed off as November took her hand.

“Should I tell them to leave us some space?” she asked in a low voice.

Wilhelmina bit her lip. “No. I mean, if we’re here anyway…” She cleared her throat, then said louder: “I’m not a guide, but you can stay if you want.”

Wilhelmina had become quite good at holding presentations over the years at university, but she had never been comfortable during them. This was similar, now that she was aware of the eyes directed at her. At first, at least. But whenever she felt November close to her, touching her hand for just a moment or brushing shoulders, it didn’t put her on edge like any other proximity would have in that situation. She focused in on her and found the speaking just as easy as before. She wrapped her tail around November’s leg, not caring that everyone saw. She had given up on that at the ball. There were a lot of things she cared about less now, she realized.

By the time they left the museum, it was already getting dark, the sun having disappeared behind the skyline a while ago. They walked through the shadowed streets, Wilhelmina choosing a longer way back to the university.

“We can go window shopping until the stores close if you like,” Wilhelmina said. “And then pick up some food to take to my room.”

“What’s that commotion over there?” November asked.

Wilhelmina followed her gaze. It had indeed gotten louder, voices and distant music and joyful screams echoing through the streets. In that direction, the house walls and cobblestones were lit in various colors that replaced the waning light of the sun.

The closer they got, the more they could recognize: First, small stands on either side of the street, offering snacks and sweets. The farther away, the more people bustled about, until the street led to the entrance of a park, which seemed to be the center of the commotion. Between the trees, a wide array of tents, booths and big stalls had been erected, lit by the colorful light of lanterns hanging from the branches, both mundane and magical in nature.

“Win your prize at the ranger’s hut!” an Elf holding a toy-sized bow and arrow yelled from within a booth. “Just hit the target three times!”

“The best waffles in the city!” barked a Halfling from a stand laden with sweets.

“Get your fortune told at Madame Mertha’s!” a Gnome called over from a tent.

Wilhelmina and November had stopped at the park entrance.

“Looks like a fair,” Wilhelmina said. “I heard one comes to town sometimes.”

“Well, then we’re in luck,” November said. “I haven’t been to one in ages!”

Even though she was tired and usually avoided large crowds, Wilhelmina joined November without complaint as she walked inside the park to have a look around. As if she knew the place, November casually guided their way to a big hut that was shrouded in an intense sugary sweet smell.

“You want some candyfloss, Wilhelmina?”

Wilhelmina jumped as November’s question drew the attention of a Tortle who was selling the sweets. She mumbled something, and kept looking around the stand, noticing gingerbread hearts in the back, different kinds of candy sticks and chocolates…

November tapped her shoulder and she turned to see two giant blue-and-white clouds under the big hat of her partner. Wilhelmina smiled shyly as she took her candyfloss. As she turned the stick to tear off a small wisp with pointed fingers, she realized that the sugary threads were glowing from within.

“Nice, isn’t it?” November said, her eyes glowing almost as bright as the candy. “The vendor casts a Light cantrip on the inner part. It looks almost like a will-o’-wisp, don’t you think?” She smirked. “So it fits you.”

Wilhelmina stopped with the sugar halfway to her mouth, looking down herself, then at the glowing confection, then at November. “It also fits your colors,” she said sheepishly. “And, um, thanks.” She finally put the sugar in her mouth. It melted in a sticking sweet intense flavor, with just a hint of blueberry and vanilla.

November furrowed her brow. “Have you never had candyfloss before, Wilhelmina?”

“Um, not that often. Why?”

November grinned, and Wilhelmina realized that her eyes had widened as she took the bite, and that her tail stood up rather than subtly hanging down as usual. She quickly wrapped it around November’s leg, and then felt even more embarrassed.

November took her hand and smiled at her calmly. “I saw some interesting stalls over there, wanna see?”

Wilhelmina let November guide her on. “I, uh, never was allowed much candy by my parents,” she explained. “And I’ve only ever been to a funfair once. My sister, Ramona, snuck us out for it. We were grounded for a week after that. But she found a way to pass letters under my door, and some candy she got there for me.”

“At least you have one family member that allows fun,” November said. “We had a small fair coming by the town once a year. My family would even do their own stand sometimes. Basically a haunted house.” November smiled in reminiscence.

Wilhelmina turned the candyfloss around in contemplation. “Were any of the ghosts real?”

“That’s a family and company secret.”

They had arrived at a bigger stall with a particularly large crowd gathered around it. At closer inspection, it seemed to be selling trinkets and toys that had weak magical properties, which explained the amount of children pulling at their parents' sleeves and begging for what had caught their attention. But older customers were examining the wares as well.

There were music boxes with dancing figurines inside, endlessly spinning tops, hairbands that promised to increase the effects of studying (Wilhelmina looked at that for a moment longer), chalk that wrote in rainbow colors, sending stones (of particular interest to a group of teenagers), brushes that dyed your hair, and much more.

One particular object caught both Wilhelmina’s and November’s attention at almost the same time, as they called out to the other with fingers pointed.

“You know who that would be perfect for?” November said in excitement, looking at the metal orb the size of her head. The metal had some holes and etchings, such that Wilhelmina for a second had wondered if it was the making of magic or artifice, but at least the silver light streaming from within seemed to be magical. The corner it stood in wasn’t lit, except for the little dots the object produced, projecting star clusters and constellations at the wooden wall, exactly like the real ones in the sky above.

“Tony would love that,” Wilhelmina agreed.

The vendor, a Gnome standing on the elevated floor of the stall, had noticed their attention. “You can change the hemisphere and plane it shows,” they explained, turning a lever on the orb to switch to a sky Wilhelmina had never seen before.

“We have to get that for them,” Wilhelmina and November said at once.

“Costs a small fortune, though,” November added, glancing at the label.

Wilhelmina, who had already reached for her wallet, hesitated. “I mean, I can…”

“We will split it,” November said. “And then we have to find a way to send that to Tony’s ship.”

After making their purchase and carefully storing it in November’s bag, they walked on, Wilhelmina keeping her tail around November as if to steady herself. They arrived at an area where there seemed to be a lot of competitions and prizes to win.

“Those are always rigged,” Wilhelmina mumbled, an echo of her parents’ opinion, looking at a game where participants had to throw very small rings around very big cylinders.

“Wanna find out how rigged?” November asked.

“What?”

But November was already pulling her towards one of the games, and Wilhelmina didn’t really have a choice but to follow or get lost in the crowd. November looked around a bit at the games. “Which should we try?”

“Um…”

“Want to try out the Dwarf Strike?” a gruff voice called over to them, and they both turned to look at a Dwarf woman standing next to a wooden construction three times her size, with markings up its length labelled from “Halfling Baby” and “One-Armed Kobold” over “Strongest Elf” and “Weakest Bugbear” up to “Orc”, “Dwarf” and “Dwarf-Orc”.

“Ya just have to hit the base with this here hammer and if ya get to one of t’ upper ones, ya get a prize.”

“Bit stereotyping, don’t you think?” November remarked, pointing at the labels.

The Dwarf flinched. “Get that a lot. It’s an older model and I’m too lazy to think o’ something better. Now, does one of ya beauties want to try ya hands at it.” She pointed at a shelf laden with prizes behind her, mostly brightly colored plushies and little bundles filled with candy. “Maybe win one of them stuffies for yer lady friend?”

November looked at Wilhelmina, who shook her head.

“I’ll try it,” November said and walked up to the wooden tower to pay for one attempt. Wilhelmina stood to the side and watched her pick up the large hammer. She weighed it in her hands and tried to pull it up before stopping. “Oh, almost forgot, Wilhelmina, can you take my hat for me?”

She quickly walked over and put the hat on Wilhelmina’s head. As she leaned closer to pull it over her horns, she winked at her and whispered, “Try to distract her a bit for me, okay?” She was back at the tower before Wilhelmina could say anything. It seemed to take her some effort to lift the hammer into the air and over her shoulders. She winked at Wilhelmina again.

Wilhelmina bit her lips. She stepped a bit closer to the Dwarf. “Is, um… does this fair come here often?”

“’bout twice a year. Big cities are always happy to have us.”

Wilhelmina took a deep breath. Made a little gesture with her hand as if to draw attention. Then she started talking, weaving enthralling magic into her words, talking without interruption to capture and cage the Dwarf’s attention. She talked about this being her first time here, about Ramona taking her to the fair back home many years back, the pressure her parents put her under, and she was about to start talking about her growing discomfort at this place when there was a loud BANG as November struck the hammer to the base with full force, followed by a louder GONG sound as the puck was thrown upwards to hit the third highest mark. For the fraction of a second Wilhelmina saw the outline of a silvery shovel around the hammer, then it was gone.

“Did I do it right?” November asked innocently.

The Dwarf scratched her head, but apparently, she hadn’t seen what Wilhelmina had spotted, and so she just grinned and said. “Congrats, lass. Didn’t think you’d have that much power in ya.” She walked back to the row of prices, picking out a big blue stuffed owl with a large pink heart on its chest. “That one right for ya?” she asked and handed the prize not to November but rather to Wilhelmina, who nodded a bit befuddled. “Looks just like you,” the Dwarf winked. “You sweethearts have anything else planned?”

“Not really,” November said quickly. She took Wilhelmina’s hand and turned away, but the Dwarf was still talking.

“There’s a ferris wheel over yonder. My brother is manning it. Can see the whole city from the top, so it’s nice if you haven’t been to the city for long. Might be something for you lovebird- whoa!”

All the lights had gone out all of a sudden, the place cast in shadow. Yells and murmurs and complaints came from the crowd around them, getting more confused as it became clear that it wasn’t just the lights, but that a bubble of total darkness had taken over a small part of the park.

Having let go of November’s hand and drawn in her tail, Wilhelmina ignored her companion’s calls and left. She stepped outside the darkness, past the confused crowd. When she left the park, she consciously recalled the spell that she had unconsciously cast. The walk back to university was like a haze, her vision blurry from tears, hands cramped into fists, face draped in shadow, staring down anyone who dared come close to her.

Finally, she stepped inside her room, closed and locked the door behind her, and threw herself on her bed. It took only a few seconds for the anger bubbling up in her to simmer into a shallow guilt. She shut it out. It didn’t matter. She was more comfortable in her room anyway.

She jumped when there was a knock at her door.

She stayed silent. Didn’t move. Face pressed into her pillow.

Another knock. “Wilhelmina?” November’s voice, soft and concerned.

“Go away!” Wilhelmina called. “Don’t let me ruin the fun you were having!”

It was silent for a while. Wilhelmina sat up, only now noticing the hat that had fallen on the floor. She had forgotten she had been wearing it while fleeing. She picked it up and walked to the door, unlocking and opening it by an inch. She half expected November to be gone, but she still stood there. Her brow was furrowed with what might have been worry.

“Sorry for stealing your hat,” Wilhelmina said meekly. She tried to pass the hat through the gap and immediately close the door again, but November was already holding it in place.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

“Don’t you want to go to the ferris wheel?” Wilhelmina didn’t look at her.

“Not if it’s not with you.”

Wilhelmina chewed her lip, anger bubbling up inside her again. “Fine.” She let go off the door and sat down on her bed again. November followed her and let herself fall down beside her.

“You forgot your plush,” she said, sitting the owl on the mattress next to her.

Wilhelmina didn’t look at it or November. “I got you licorice.”

“What?”

“At the candy stall. I got you licorice.” Wilhelmina pointed at her bag on the floor, holding a paper package of licorice sticks. “I think you’ll like it. It has an intense flavor.”

“Ah,” November said.

A silence fell over the room that was neither save nor comfortable.

“Soooo,” November said after a while. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong, or do you just want to sit there and pout?” And when she didn’t get an answer: “I wouldn’t have a problem with that. You have a very cute pout.”

“It’s not – “ She stopped herself and pressed her lips together.

“Yes, it is. Your ears turn downwards when you pout.”

“I’m not pouting,” Wilhelmina pouted.

“Yes, you are. And it’s cute.” She reached out to Wilhelmina’s face, who flinched away, staring her down.

She could feel the shadows darken, was about to send a mind sliver in November’s direction to get the thoughts that were muddling her mind like ink blotches on the page of a book to leave, and November along with them. If she didn’t get it, she could feel it, and maybe then she’d understand it, and maybe then she would leave her alone, leave and never come back, and she’d be alone and in peace again.

But then something turned softer about November’s expression, and she turned and pulled her legs up to her chest, so she was facing Wilhelmina. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanna know what’s wrong.”

There was something about her that let the walls Wilhelmina had built around herself crumble. About her and Tony both. But where Tony was a wrecking ball, November seemed like a magical brew that dissolved the adhesive sticking the bricks together.

Wilhelmina looked away, draping her face in shadows in shame rather than anger this time. After everything, her first instinct was still to lash out. Hurt people before they could hurt her. Keep them at a distance so their words could never sting. The truth was that she liked those walls she had built, and that she felt exposed without them.

“Sorry,” Wilhelmina said meekly. “I was being an idiot.”

“Nobody said anything about that,” November said. “I just want to know what happened.” Wilhelmina felt November’s cold fingers gently brush her own hand, and this time, she didn’t pull away.

“It’s stupid,” Wilhelmina said again. “You will laugh at me, or get mad, and both would be justified.”

“Now you’re being unfair towards yourself,” November said.

Wilhelmina hesitated, as if trying to find the right words, as if they hadn’t been echoing through her mind all the way home. “It’s just… You wanted me to show you the city, but I had nothing to show. I don’t even know the city I’ve lived in for years.”

“You showed me the museum,” November interjected.

“Yes, and as soon as we left, you wanted to see something else, something more exciting,” Wilhelmina said, turning to her. “And I get it, I have nothing to offer. I’m… boring. You are amazing! You always tell me about your adventures, of guiding lost souls into the afterlife, of beating people up with a spiritual shovel, or forcing them to dig their own graves, of escaping death itself! You talked to that … experiment? creature? – when I didn’t even know what to do.

“And Tony as well! They’re traveling the world by ship. And what do I do? I sit here in my study and read old books! I’m a glorified scribe! I spent all my life trying to please my parents, or – or some Archfey I sold my soul to, without mattering to any of them at all, and now I’m 28 and I feel like I haven’t lived a single day of my life. I can’t even show you anything exciting in this city that’s worth doing. I must be so boring to you.”

November had listened with her head tilted. Now she reached out both hands to take Wilhelmina’s face between them, preventing her from looking away again. “You’re pretty amazing as well.”

Wilhelmina flushed. “You’re just saying that.”

November didn’t relent. “Wilhelmina, when I first met you, you killed a guy with your own negative thoughts. I’ve seen the stuff you brought to the Librarian, and the stuff you analyzed for the museum. That’s not boring, that’s great. Amazing even.”

Wilhelmina wanted to contradict her again, but she couldn’t even open her mouth before November had leaned forward and, still holding her head in place, pressed her lips on it. A silent squeal escaped Wilhelmina, and in response November’s lips curled upwards. Then, Wilhelmina relaxed, closing her eyes to sink into the kiss. November’s fingers brushed over her cheeks. Wilhelmina gently laid her tail on November’s back, then wrapped it around her midst as the kiss became something more intense. Her hands burrowed into November’s hair. On the edge of her mind, she noticed that November’s hat had fallen off, and she didn’t seem to have noticed at all. November’s skin and lips and mouth were cold, but never would she have called that cold lifeless. If anything, it was calming against the heat of Wilhelmina’s cheeks and embarrassment and –

“Wilhelmina,” November whispered as she pulled away. “There is something else you can show me that I haven’t tried yet.”

“What?” Wilhelmina, who, unlike November, needed to breathe, panted.

November reached down to the stacks of books that were piled up beside the bed, pulling up a thin booklet, which Wilhelmina recognized in horror.

“That’s not mine!” she said quickly. “I mean, I have never seen that before! I mean – “

November laughed. She started flipping through the pages, which were filled with drawings of featureless bodies of different races tied up in various compromising positions, with instructions written in between the sketches. “I just thought it might be fun to try out, and that maybe you have some more experience with that than with fairs?”

Wilhelmina called the shadows intentionally this time to hide her flushed cheeks and caught expression. She bit her lip. “Well… I mean – I – We could try something out. If you want. I assume.” She looked up at November and managed a smile. “Do you, uhm, does any specific variant strike your interest?”

November kept flipping through the pages. “The ones where you hang from the ceiling look wild.”

“Those… probably aren’t the best idea for a complete beginner,” Wilhelmina cautioned.

“Yeah, thought so,” November said. “I might be dead, but I don’t know how I feel about playing vampire right now. Maybe when Tony comes over, we can try that with them, I bet they’d have fun.” She chuckled and turned to a page at the beginning.

“These are pretty easy,” Wilhelmina said. “To tie and to experience, I mean.”

“This one seems good,” November said, pointing to one.

Wilhelmina considered the sketches and accompanying instructions. She nodded.

“Do you have rope here or should I get some from my pack?”

Wilhelmina, who had already bent down to retrieve the equipment from under her bed, stopped dead in her tracks. “Um. No. I don’t.”

November chuckled. She slipped her shirt over her head.

“Wait, what are you – “

“All the people in the pictures are nude,” November said innocently. “I thought it was the point?”

“I don’t – I mean – you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable…” She couldn’t keep her eyes from trailing back to November’s now exposed chest.

“Wilhelmina.” November stood up and put a hand to Wilhelmina’s chin again. Somehow, despite it meaning a closer proximity to breasts, it calmed her down. “How about I just tell you when I’m not comfortable with something? And the same goes for you.”

Wilhelmina nodded again. “Sit down and give me your leg.”

Following the instructions meticulously, Wilhelmina set to work. Starting with a knot at the ankle, she first tied November’s thigh to her shin. She then passed the black rope around her hip and chest, before continuing on the other leg. Although she had been nervous at first, not being used yet to being this … intimate with November, Wilhelmina found the process calming in a way. She soon forgot she had the naked body of her girlfriend in front of her, all her attention being taken up by the knots and ties and careful technique. Once or twice, she had to work backwards to untangle a mistake, apologizing for the holdup. But November remained patient, encouraging.

It took some time, but finally, it was done. Wilhelmina stepped away to consider the work. She discovered a few more mistakes she had made, but now the thrilling sight demanded back the attention Wilhelmina had put somewhere else for a while.

November’s arms were tied behind her back, legs bound calve to thigh and affixed to the arm in a way that forced her to keep them parted. In addition, there were some aesthetic ties around her upper body, the tightness of the rope pushing out her cute small breasts.

November was grinning. “Well, how do I look?”

There were a thousand words jumbling together in Wilhelmina’s mind: Beautiful. Cute. Sexy. Pretty. Hot. I want you. Adorable. So bad. Stunning. Right now.

What came out was an incoherent mumbling mess.

November chuckled again. “Well, watching you tie me up was fun, but I gotta admit, I don’t really see the appeal that much? I can’t even move.”

“That is… kind of the point,” Wilhelmina murmured.

“Yeah, I know, I just don’t really see how that would help in getting it on.”

“Well.” Wilhelmina had caught herself a bit again. She tried to sound mischievous: “Now I can do with you whatever I want?”

November’s smile turned into a smirk. “Like what?”

“Like this.” Wilhelmina knelt down on the bed in front of November and kissed her. November kissed back, tenderly sucking on her lips. She struggled, trying to touch Wilhelmina, but the binds kept her in her helpless position. Wilhelmina put one hand to the rope at her chest and pulled on it, gently for now, to get her closer. Her lips wandered down November’s neck, and the other couldn’t follow. She kissed along her collarbone. Her fingers brushed the scar over November’s heart.

Wilhelmina brought her lips to November’s ear, whispered: “Are you still comfortable?”

November nodded. “Like I said, I’ll tell you if I’m not.” She sounded almost out of breath.

Wilhelmina took the words as a full invitation. She put one hand on November’s right breast and gave it a gentle squeeze. Her tail wrapped around November, under the ropes, interweaving with them and holding her even closer. One hand wandered farther down. November gasped in anticipation.

Wilhelmina kissed the cold skin over November’s heart as she pushed two fingers inside her. There was so much more she wanted to show her.

#my writing #oc writing #secret santa #november la morte #wilhelmina twist #november/wilhelmina #blu babes #comfort #fluff #light smut

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moonhoures · 2 years

Text

first love part 3

pairing: soobin (txt) + reader (fem.)

genre: non-idol!au, college!au, angst, fluff, smut [ nsfw | mdni ]

warnings: 18+, explicit smut, minors do not interact, oral (f & m receiving), facial, cum eating, light choking, overstimuation, finger sucking, soft dom!soobin, sulky & jealous!soobin, unprotected sex (but reader is on birth control so), vaginal penetration, slight mention of breeding kink?, nipple play, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, soobin calls reader “slut” like once, marking, hair pulling, aftercare in the shower, idk if it’s considered exhibitionism but they have sex in a house where other people are sleeping?, and i think that’s everything. let me know if i missed anything!

word count: ~20.9K

synopsis:

disclaimer: i completely made up the names for soobin’s family members. this is all fictional and in no way does it portray his family irl. none of this is meant to disrespect his family, so please don’t take it seriously. we’re here to have fun :)

a/n: first, thank you to everyone who read the first two parts and enjoyed them/left feedback, i appreciate you more than you know. thank you for also being so patient while i worked on this part! i know it was a super long wait. again, i’m sorry for that! second, the formatting on this is fucked up, but ‘ ― ― ― ‘ is considered a little time skip. happy holidays!!!! xoxo

posted: december 22, 2021

haven’t read the first love series? you can catch up here

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

The tiny, loose strand on the hem of your skirt fell limp as you let go of it, turning your attention to your boyfriend in the driver’s seat. He met your eyes quickly before returning them to the road, but in that small moment you could see a glimpse of worry.

“Yeah,” you repeated it again, not sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Because you’ve barely spoken since we dropped Yeonjun off,” he replied.

You wanted to rebuttal and tell him it wasn’t true, but when you took note of the time, you realized he was right. The two of you dropped your mutual friend off at the train station as it was on the way to Soobin’s parents house.

That’s right. Today was the day you would finally meet his family. After Yeonjun was left at the station, you had thirty minutes left until you would arrive at Soobin’s childhood home. The entire ride you spent the time in internal turmoil, stressing about the ‘what if’s. What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m not good enough for Soobin? What if I don’t meet their expectations? What if they don’t like their gifts? You got so immersed in your negative thoughts that Soobin had noticed your distressed expression shortly after your extended silence.

“Did you forget anything back at your dorm? Because we can turn back,” he said. You looked at him with wide eyes, an unbelieving smile creeping on the corners of your lips. Even if you had left anything behind, there was no way on Earth you were going to let him turn around and make the forty-five-minute drive back for it.

“No, Soobin. I didn’t leave anything. I’m just nervous is all,” you explained, turning away to avoid his gaze. Instead, you watched the random town you were in whiz by you outside the window.

“Why?” he asked, a pout evident in his voice, “You said you were really excited, and they’re all looking forward to meeting you. You can’t back out on me now, _______.”

He said the last sentence in a playfully threatening tone, making a grin appear on your lips. It grew wider when you felt his hand reach over to comfortingly rub your lower thigh. Your eyes made contact with his again before he smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to your cheek. He added, “We’re almost there. Just a few more minutes.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves. You had daydreamed about this day for so long. Soobin had told stories about growing up with his siblings—his sister forcing him to have tea parties with her or fighting with his brother over video games. His eyes always lit up when he spoke about his sister’s son, often showing you pictures of him. He was a toddler now, and Soobin would gush to you about how fun it was being an uncle. Like he said, you were really excited to meet them, so why was your stomach in knots?

“We’re here!” he announced, pulling you from your wandering thoughts again. You took note of how nice the neighborhood was, and his house was no exception. It was a two story, with a nice front lawn and a spacious driveway that was currently taken up by three vehicles, leaving only space for him to park. “Looks like my brother’s already here. I guess my sister will come by for dinner.”

Soobin told you to leave the luggage in the car for now, eagerly gesturing for you to follow him inside. You had only enough time to give yourself a once-over in the car window’s reflection before he took your hand and had you following him up the driveway to the front door. He opened the door with one hand as his other one held yours, squeezing it reassuringly while he guided you inside, “Mom! Dad! We’re home~!”

An unintelligible shout came from somewhere in the house, followed by the sounds of footsteps. While the sounds made their way towards you, you admired the living room. The furniture was set up nicely, facing the middle of the room that was nice and open for a pretty rug that matched the drapes over the window. A fireplace was lit on the other side of the room between the lit-up, decorated Christmas tree and the staircase that led to the second floor. The bottom of the staircase met the doorway to the dining room where Soobin’s mother emerged, a huge grin on her face at the sight of the two of you.

Soobin closed the door behind you before turning to her and engulfing her in a big bear hug. You watched with a happy heart as she pressed kisses to his cheeks.

“Mom, you’re acting like you didn’t see me two months ago,” he joked, laughing as she pinched his cheek.

“And you’re acting like a mother can’t miss her son,” she replied with equal attitude before turning to you. For a moment you wondered how her smile could get any bigger, but it did. She reached forward and enveloped you in an equally big hug, patting your back, “It’s so nice to finally see you! You’re so much prettier in person.”

You recalled when Soobin had visited for Chuseok, he had FaceTimed you one night, and his mother had walked in. She had begged him to see you over the phone and when he showed you on the other side, she was just as happy then as she was now. She was the one to suggest making concrete plans for you to visit for winter break, and that’s how you ended up here now.

Soobin’s father followed soon after, embracing Soobin in a hug before doing the same to you, “Yes, his mother has been talking about meeting you all morning.”

His words caused your cheeks to warm up, the flattery making your heart weak but happy. Their positive words were comforting as opposed to the worries you had during the ride here. Soobin’s father asked about the ride, if there was any traffic. His mother complimented your outfit, asking where you got your pieces from. In the midst of the conversation, you noticed a man—who you concluded was Soobin’s brother—coming from the kitchen to join the four of you.

“Welcome home, Soobin,” he smiled, getting your boyfriend’s attention as he embraced him.

“Sungmin~ This is my girlfriend, _______,” Soobin stepped aside, gesturing to you. You politely greeted him, reaching out to shake his hand which he accepted.

“Mom was right, you are very beautiful in person,” he commented, “For a while I was starting to believe Soobin was making you up.”

You chuckled softly, “Nope. I’m very much real. And thank you, you’re very handsome as well.”

You had seen him in photographs before, but only the ones on Soobin’s social media. The photos weren’t updated though; his brother looked different now than he did in the pictures you saw. He just seemed more put-together and mature—given, he was probably in college in the pictures you saw. And from what you understood, he had graduated a couple years ago now. He carried himself confidently and his smile was charming. You could immediately tell that Soobin took after his mother and sister more and his brother took after his father.

“You guys must be exhausted from your trip,” his mother spoke, “Would you like drinks? Food?”

You shook your head, “I’m fine, thank you.”

“Okay, well, Soobin, why don’t you and your father go get your luggage, and I’ll give _______ a tour of the house?”

“Alright, Mom.”

― ― ―

“Uh, this- This used to be Soobin’s and his brother’s room. We turned it into an office after they moved out. This is just our coat closet, and this is the guest bedroom where you’ll be staying. It used to be his sister’s room. There’s an en-suite bathroom, so you won’t have to go downstairs to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.”

Soobin’s mother opened the room to the bedroom she was referring to, revealing a generous-sized room, a queen-sized bed in the middle with nice wooden posts. There was a door to the right that was open, showing that there was a sink, toilet, and shower inside.

“And that’s all of the house,” she wrapped up, right on time for Soobin and Sungmin to walk up with the last of the bags. “Oh honey, yours will go downstairs.”

“But I thought you said we were staying up here?” Soobin questioned.

“________ is staying up here. You two boys will be sleeping in the living room on the pull-out couch,” she explained, causing your boyfriend to groan in slight annoyance. You were a little bummed when you realized what she meant too, but you understood her reasoning. Your mother would’ve done the same.

“Mom, come on. Soobin is a good kid, and responsible. Let them share the room,” Sungmin spoke up. His mother looked conflicted, as if she wanted to keep her foot down but she also didn’t want to look like the bad guy. You were about to insist that you were fine with the arrangement when his brother spoke again, “I’m sure _______ will be more comfortable rooming with Soobin than by herself, and let’s be real. They’ve probably slept in the same bed before now anyways, right?”

Your cheeks felt aflame from his question, and you could tell Soobin was just as embarrassed by the remark, but he answered, “Yes. A few times, but we will be on our best behavior. Promise.”

His mother gave Sungmin a pointed look before turning to Soobin with the same look. After a moment, she sighed, “Fine, but no funny business.”

She directed the order at Soobin who nodded fervently. She turned to you with her familiar smile, “I trust you two. It’s just hard accepting that all my babies are adults now.”

You nodded, “I understand. My mom is the same way. Like Soobin said, we’ll be on our best behavior, Mrs. Choi.”

“Good,” she sighed again, but more from relief than defeat. She spoke out loud before turning to Soobin, “Well, I’ll let you two settle in while I finish preparing dinner. Your sister should be here soon.”

― ― ―

Soobin’s sister, Heejin, arrived right in time for dinner, with her husband and toddler in tow. She was gorgeous and did indeed share several similarities to her mother as well as your boyfriend. She greeted you with open arms and a comforting smile that made you long for a sister you never had growing up.

“_______, it’s so nice to finally meet you in person. This is my husband, Dohyun, and I’m sure Soobin’s shown you pictures of Jiwon.”

Her husband was sweet, introducing himself with a handshake. Her son, however, in his childish daze, sped past you to envelop Soobin’s legs in a tight hug, causing all of you to laugh. Your boyfriend picked him up by his armpits, swinging him up in the air before attacking his cheeks in kisses.

“He’s told me all about him,” you assured her, “And it’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve been looking forward to this for months.”

“Trust me, so have we,” she nodded, “Especially that one.”

She pointed to her mom who was now hugging and coddling her only grand baby while Soobin’s father asked him how excited he was to open presents.

Within minutes you found yourself in the kitchen, leaning against the counter in conversation with Heejin and her mother as the boys of the family occupied the living room. Soobin’s mom was checking on all of the food, making sure everything was cooking well while Heejin prepared drinks and silverware. You had offered to help, but since you were considered an honorary guest, they insisted you not do any ‘work’ for now. So, you sighed in defeat and obliged in conversation with them, and you had to admit you were really enjoying yourself.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Soobin was sitting with Jiwon on the floor, play-fighting with the young boy while his father, brother, and brother-in-law sat on the couch and recliners.

“She seems to be fitting in nicely so far,” Dohyun commented towards Soobin, the implication being that he was talking about you.

Soobin’s lips curled into a smile as he nodded, now only half paying attention to his energetic nephew by his side, “Yeah, it’s great. If everything works out, I want to bring her home for every holiday.”

“Have you visited her parents yet?” his father asked him.

“No, but she mentioned that she wanted to invite me for spring break.”

His dad nodded in understanding before his eyes looked over and settled on his eldest son, “And you, what happened with Yoona?”

Sungmin looked slightly annoyed by the question, piquing the other men’s curiosity, “I told Mom she wouldn’t be coming with me.”

Yoona was Sungmin’s girlfriend of almost a year. Soobin’s parents had met her several times and loved her, and she had made an appearance at their home for Chuseok just a few months ago. Which is why his father felt the need to ask why she didn’t join him now when she was invited.

“Did you guys break up?” Dohyun asked.

Sungmin nodded reluctantly, “She called me last week and broke things off. Said she needed to focus on finishing school and didn’t have time for our relationship.”

While his father and brother-in-law consoled him, offering words of encouragement for another opportunity, Soobin found himself thinking. Ever since his first relationship in high school, Sungmin was always the type to move quickly with girls. He wanted the most out of everything, and when things went south, he quickly picked himself up and moved on. If he was going through a breakup now, it was only a matter of time before he looked for someone new to get his hands on.

― ― ―

“Dinner’s ready!”

The sound of various chairs lightly dragging against the floor filled the dining room as the eight of you got seated. You sat at the end of one side of the table, Soobin to your right and his father to your left at the head of the table. Sungmin sat across from you while Dohyun sat between him and Heejin. Jiwon sat across from his mom, and lastly, Soobin’s mom sat at the other end of the table.

Food was passed around as discussions started among the family. Soobin’s father was speaking to Dohyun about work. Heejin and her mother were discussing daycare arrangements of Jiwon next year. Soobin was intently listening to Jiwon who was gushing about the toy train set he saw at a store earlier this week. Which left you pawing at your food with your fork, worrying if you looked as out of place as you felt.

“_______, what are you majoring in again?”

Your head lifted at the quiet mention of your name from across the table, and you made eye contact with Sungmin, “I’m a technical Music major.”

“Ah, so like music composition?”

“And production, yes,” you added, inwardly thankful that he was making an effort to befriend you, “What did you go to college for?”

He was briefly interrupted by his father asking him to pass the sweet potato noodles, but he eventually answered, “I graduated with a major in business and minor in marketing.“

Your eyebrows raised in interest, “My father works in marketing. Have you got a solid job yet? I could give you his contact information later. I’m sure he could help you get a job with him.”

The two of you continued talking about his career, and eventually you got comfortable talking about other topics such as school and hobbies and traveling. Soobin found himself growing envious of the attention you were giving his brother. Before your trip he had predicted that you and Heejin would hit it off, so it slightly annoyed him to see it wasn’t her but his brother that you clicked with.

Once everyone was full and the plates were empty, you insisted on helping Soobin’s mother with cleaning the dishes. She called on one more volunteer jokingly and before Soobin could even think of answering, Sungmin was up and playfully arguing over the silverware with you. Your boyfriend watched the two of you follow his mother into the kitchen, pouting when he could hear you laughing at a joke Sungmin must have told you. He willed himself to smile at Jiwon when he tugged on his sleeve and begged him to play with him in the living room where Heejin and Dohyun were already going with his father to watch TV. Soobin gave the kitchen one more glance before nodding and agreeing with his nephew, following him into the living room.

― ― ―

“I think that’s everything washed,” Soobin’s mother declared, drying her damp hands on a clean dish towel. Sungmin handed you the last few clean dinner plates to put back in the cupboard. “Sungmin, could you and ________ get the smaller plates out for dessert?”

“Ooh, what’s for dessert?” you asked, eyes lighting up at the idea of a good pie and some ice cream to top it off.

“Heejin brought some chocolate cake. Her friend owns a bakery and always makes us one for the holidays. It’s delicious,” Sungmin explained just as his mother pulled out a cake box and placed it on the counter. She opened the top to reveal a beautiful chocolate cake with dark icing and rosettes in white and red spaced out along the edges.

She tasked you and Sungmin with slicing the cake evenly and placing the slices on the dessert plates for everyone. Once that was done, you went to hand them out to everyone in the living room. Soobin was the last person you went to hand a plate to, but he declined, and that was the first time you noticed something was off about him. You gave him a look that said, ‘what’s wrong?’ without having to say it out loud, but he simply shook his head and gestured for you to keep the dessert for yourself. You decided to just leave it be and kept the plate, sitting beside him at the edge of the couch.

As everyone began eating their cake, you also dug into it with your fork, enjoying the taste of the fluffy, rich chocolate with the sweet icing. You were so invested in the cake as well as the story Heejin was telling her father about the new store her baker friend was building to even notice Sungmin and his mother entering the kitchen with their own cake in hands. But Soobin immediately took note of the glance his brother gave towards you as he decided on where to sit. Luckily for Soobin, there was no spot near you, so Sungmin had no other option than to take a seat on the couch across from the two of you. However, this didn’t stop him from taking what he thought were subtle glimpses in your direction. Maybe they were subtle enough not to get anyone else’s attention, but Soobin noticed every single one.

Now, Soobin never considered himself the jealous type even when the two of you started dating. He had full trust in you and never thought twice about any time you interacted with a guy—whether it be his close guy friends like Yeonjun or a random dude from one of your classes. But for some reason, seeing his brother showing special interest in you made his chest swell with a need to be proprietorial. He hated feeling like that; the last thing he wanted to do was seem controlling or possessive of you. He had seen some of his own friends do that to their partners and lose them; likewise, he had girl friends who had mentioned to him how annoying their boyfriends were when they got jealous and overbearing. If he even had the slightest chance of you feeling that way about him, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

Still, in a moment of bad decision making and the need to show his brother that he was yours, he looked to you. You were listening intently to a story his father was telling–a story he wasn’t even half paying attention to–but when you saw him looking at you, you tilted your head as if to ask what was up.

“Can I have a bite?” he whispered, not wanting to interrupt his father.

You rolled your eyes jokingly at him before whispering back, “I offered you a piece and you declined. This is mine.”

You had full intentions of giving him a bite, but you wanted to tease him for a bit beforehand. It worked. His already-big puppy dog eyes slacked as his full lips formed a pout and he whined quietly, “Pleeeease~”

You sighed, shaking your head with a smile as you put a nice-sized amount of cake on your fork and brought it up to his grinning lips. They parted as you carefully set the fork in his mouth, the icing leaving a small residue over the corners of his lips. You couldn’t help but hide a giggle at how happy he seemed about you giving him a bite of your cake. After that, you went back to listening to his father’s story, trying to keep up with the events he was describing when you noticed Soobin’s eyes uncharacteristically glaring over at his brother. What you hadn’t seen before that was Sungmin watching the two of you with his own sense of envy. So, naturally, that was the second time you found Soobin’s behavior a bit odd.

― ― ―

The night went by in a blur, it seemed, but it went so much better than you could’ve hoped. You and the family spent hours talking until Jiwon finally fell asleep in Soobin’s lap on the couch after running around and playing with him and Dohyun. That’s when Heejin decided it was time to get home for the night. As Soobin carried Jiwon’s sleeping form to the car to set him in his car seat, Heejin explained to you that they had moved to Gwangju after her and Dohyun got married, but that they were renting a cabin only ten minutes away while they visited.

“We’ll be back in the morning,” she told you as Soobin shut the back door of their SUV, “Have a good night, guys.”

She hugged you, then her brothers, and finally her parents before they left. Sungmin resigned to the pull-out couch in the living room with the help of his father. You and Soobin went upstairs to your room after bidding his parents and brother a good night.

Finally, for the first time in hours, you were alone. Soobin let you take your shower first, opting to relax on the bed, scrolling on TikTok while he waited for you to finish. You showered without washing your hair since you had done so in the morning, and appeared in your pajamas, ready to relax after a long day. Soobin showered quickly after you, returning with only sweatpants on, running a towel over his wet hair. You glanced away from your Instagram feed to look at him in his post-shower glory, his freshly washed face looking smooth, cute, and pink.

Your boyfriend smiled shyly, noticing your gaze on him, “Stop looking at me like that.”

You chuckled, “Like what?”

“Like that. You’re making me blush.”

He pressed the back of his hand against his cheek, feeling the heated skin. Determining that his hair was damp enough, he slid a t-shirt over his head and onto his torso before sitting on the other side of the bed from where you were laying. With his back turned to you as he checked his emails and texts, you couldn’t help but get up onto your knees and hug him from behind. Your hands snuck over his shoulders until your chin rested on the left side of his neck.

“My family really likes you,” he spoke softly, the both of you smiling, “I can tell my mom and dad loved you. My sister had mentioned that you were really sweet.”

“Yeah, they’re all really nice and accepting,” you agreed, “I had fun today.”

He hummed in satisfaction, swiping to check his last texts from Yeonjun before he would turn off his phone. As he typed back a message, you spoke again, “Your brother is really funny. He was telling me a story about how when you were in middle school Heejin used to put make up on you and put bows and clips in your hair.”

A lump of annoyance and anger produced in Soobin’s throat. Of course, Sungmin would tell you embarrassing stories about him. Your boyfriend hummed again, acknowledging your words but not really responding. You noticed his shoulders had tensed up under you. Maybe he’s just tired, you thought, I should leave him alone so he can get some sleep. Right as those words floated through your mind, he shut his phone off and put it on his nightstand. His hands enveloped yours against his chest, holding them there as he eased into your touch.

“Let’s get some sleep,” you whispered, pressing what you thought was an innocent, chaste kiss against the side of his throat. You went to pull away, but he had other plans. Your arms had just slipped away from him when he turned in his spot to face you more, gripping your hands in his so you couldn’t move away. A small, startled noise escaped your lips as he tugged you forward carefully, his right hand reaching up to your cheek to bring you closer. His lips unexpectedly captured yours, causing the tiniest excuse of a moan to come from your mouth.

You found that you were losing yourself in the kiss, letting him take the lead easily as he continued to mould his lips against your own. After a moment you needed air, so you pulled away just enough for your skin to still brush against each other. Soobin’s breath fanned over your parted lips before he was diving back in, this time with his tongue. The warm, velvety muscle was precise and gentle in its movements, wanting you to surrender to him.

It was in the midst of your passionate make out, when his hands were finding purchase on your waist, that you took a second to consider where you were and what you were doing. With a quick and unfortunate decision, you managed to pull away again, but this time with the intention of stopping. Soobin’s lips moved forward in search of yours as you detached yourself from him, his eyes opening in confusion.

“I thought you were tired,” you chuckled, reaching up to push his half-dry hair away from his face where little droplets of water were still making their way down his face.

“Well, I’m not,” he said, his fingers on the skin of your hips urging you towards him.

Your eyebrows quirked as your hands met his, peeling his fingers off of you easily, “Soobin, we’re not doing this here. You heard your mom today.“

A pout formed on his luscious, kissed lips, but he nodded in understanding, “I’m sorry. I got excited.”

You smiled half-heartedly.

You understood all too well where he was coming from. Ever since that fateful weekend, while Yeonjun was away, and you and Soobin had your fun for the first time, the two of you didn’t have many opportunities to have sex. Being in college with roommates left you with little to no privacy on most days, but the two of you did put in some effort.

You had introduced Soobin to sexting, which he loved. You sent him naughty messages about what you wanted him to do to you when he got the chance. Soobin found himself practically drooling at the back of his classes where he would cautiously open your messages or Snapchats to reveal pictures of you in your bra or underwear. Because even if the two of you couldn’t find time to have sex together, you still had desires—wants and needs.

Soobin lost count of how many times he jerked off in the shower to the pictures you sent him shuffling through his head. When you got the dorm to yourself, while Sooyoung was in class or out with her other friends, you would read the messages between you and Soobin and let your hand do as much work as it could to satisfy you. But the one thing you two could agree on was that it wasn’t the same. Nothing compared to the feeling of each other, and you missed it. The last time the two of you had been alone was for his birthday when Yeonjun so graciously offered to sleep at Beomgyu’s for the night to give you two privacy. So, you couldn’t blame him for wanting to take advantage of this little time where the two of you were finally alone again.

“I know, baby. It’s okay. We’ll get other opportunities . . . eventually,” you said, rubbing your hand soothingly against his cheek, “But for now, you behave.”

Soobin smiled sheepishly before shaking his head, watching you try to hide your smirk as you got comfortable on your side of the bed. He followed suit, lying beside you, “You were into it, too, y’know. Practically pounced on me.”

You rolled your eyes as you reached over to turn off the lamp, “Goodnight, Soobin.”

“Goodnight, my love.”

― ― ―

The smell of fresh cooked breakfast woke you up the next morning on Christmas Eve. Your eyes slowly opened, and the first thing you noticed were the voices of Soobin’s family conversing downstairs. The second thing you noticed was how empty the bed felt behind you. You turned over to confirm that your boyfriend was missing, causing you to frown.

After checking your phone, doing your morning routine, and debating if you should change into your outfit for the day, you decided on staying in your pajamas for now before making your way to meet everyone downstairs. You were warmly greeted in the dining room by the family—including Heejin, Dohyun, and Jiwon who had arrived early. You felt slightly awkward being the last to join, so you scanned the room to find Soobin and his mother missing.

“Morning, _______, did you sleep well?” his father asked, fixing a plate for Jiwon who waited patiently for his grandpa to hand him his food.

“Yes, sorry for sleeping in so late,” you apologized, not entirely sure what time it was just yet.

“Oh, you’re fine,” Heejin gestured with her hand carelessly before picking up a glass of water, “We’re an early household, and we just got here. You didn’t miss much.”

You nodded, pausing by the table as you were trying to decipher if you should sit and wait for Soobin or go find him. Sungmin noticed your hesitance and aided you, “Soobin’s in the kitchen with Mom.”

You smiled and nodded gratefully at him, turning for the kitchen where you found your boyfriend helping his mom with the last of the food. His mom was busy flipping what looked like vegetable pancakes on the stove, and Soobin had his back turned to you, a ketchup bottle in his hand as he adorned plates of fried eggs with the condiment.

“Good morning,” you addressed them, his mother turning to you with a startled expression that quickly turned cheerful.

“Morning, _______! We’re just finishing up the breakfast, dear.”

“It smells great,” you noted, walking up beside your lovely boyfriend who was topping off a fried egg with ketchup in the shape of a smiley face. A similar, bright smile formed on your lips at the kind gesture, “Cute.”

“This one’s for Jiwon,” he said happily, his wide grin causing his dimples to appear.

“And this one-“ he took another plate with fried egg on it, his careful and lithe hands using the ketchup to create a heart outline, “-is for you.”

Your own heart skipped a beat as you looked up at him with adoration in your eyes. You thanked him as you took the plate, reaching up to place a light kiss against his dimpled cheek. His mother softened at the interaction, which she spectated quietly before asking you to help her and Soobin bring out the last of the food to the dining room. You agreed, grabbing as many plates as you could with them to the adjacent room where everyone was waiting.

Once the food was all settled and everyone had the dishes they wanted, a hush fell over the room as everyone began eating. For a moment the only noise emanating was the soft sounds of chewing and the picking up of silverware. Conversations slowly started around the table, one of them being between you and Sungmin. He asked you about what shows and movies you had been watching lately. And you, loving any chance to gush about your recent binge-watches, dove right in. It was nice having someone from the family who seemed so interested in you—or so you thought. You found his eye contact and undivided attention while you spoke to him endearing, but you had yet to realize that Soobin found it offensive, to him at least. The way his brother was able to make you laugh and smile so easily . . . it made his insides boil.

Soobin made some attempts at getting your attention, asking you random questions which you simply answered and returned back to Sungmin. The two of you were currently raving about some horror movie you had watched—one that Soobin remembered refusing to watch with you because he hated horror films. Now he wished he would’ve watched it just so he didn’t feel so left out. Or rather, so he wouldn’t feel so inferior.

Soobin sighed quietly, finding himself pouting at the edge of the table as no one noticed. His parents were too busy coddling Jiwon. Heejin and Dohyun were discussing plans of visiting his parents for New Years. And of course, his wonderful girlfriend was too wrapped up in the charm that was his older brother. Again, he started to feel that familiar envy creeping up his spine, telling him to grow one or he’d lose you. With a sudden burst of tenacity, he did something rather out of character.

You were nodding along to an opinion that Sungmin was expressing when you felt it. At first you thought it was just your leg bumping against the underside of the table, but what you thought was the table quickly started to feel like fingers, familiar ones at that. You couldn’t help but jump slightly at the touch, your own fingers covering Soobin’s before they went too far up on your thigh. Your pajama shorts only covered so much, and he was already at the hem when you stopped them.

Sungmin seemed to notice your eyes go slightly wide, asking if you were okay. Thankfully, the table covered your lap, so he was completely unaware of the situation underneath it. You assured him you were fine, choosing to ignore Soobin’s obvious attempt for your attention so that you didn’t seem rude to his brother. Your boyfriend didn’t like that one bit, so he wiggled his fingers out from yours and placed them on your thigh again, this time on the inner side. His grip on you was more adamant, so you finally gave his brother an apologetic look before turning around to face Soobin.

“What?” you whispered to him.

“You’re ignoring me,” he pouted, making sure to stay behind you where his brother couldn’t see him and mock him. If only it were that easy.

“Hey, I’m sorry, Soobs, I’ve been talking ________’s head off,” his brother joked, leaning around you to see his brother’s annoyed expression.

“I told you not to call me that when we were kids, Sungmin,” he mumbled, making your brows scrunch in confusion. Why has his behavior been so erratic and flippant since you got here? One moment he was fine, and the next he would be annoyed for seemingly no reason.

“Sorry, it’s a habit,” his brother softly laughed, getting interrupted by his mother asking to help her with the dirty dishes. You offered to help as well, finding yourself looking forward to those kind of moments with her. You started to stand when you felt Soobin gently grip your thigh again, causing you to turn to him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was ignoring you. I’ll go help your mom, then I’ll give you all the attention you want when I’m done, okay?” you said putting your hand at the back of his neck so that your fingertips could graze the hair at his nape. He always found the gesture soothing, and as much as he wanted to protest, he couldn’t. He could tell how excited you were to have these interactions with his mom and help her out. He knew these moments made you feel accepted, and he didn’t want to take that away from you.

“Okay,” he agreed, smiling as you pressed a kiss to his forehead before getting up to meet his mom and brother in the kitchen. The rest of the family moved to the living room while you and Sungmin went back and forth from the kitchen and the dining room, collecting dirty dishes and silverware.

Their mother began cleaning up as the two of you found ways to help out. Soobin sat in the living room, finding himself growing more and more antsy about the idea that you were in there talking to his brother. His thoughts got the best of him, so he got up and made his way to the kitchen, hearing the three of you talking as he stopped at the doorway.

None of you noticed him standing there, and Soobin paused as he watched you. You were drying the wet dishes that his mother handed you after washing them in the sink. His brother was taking them from you and saving them in the cupboards. For the most part you weren’t even talking to Sungmin; instead, you were listening to his mother rave about how fun it was having another girl in the family. His mom mused about how she had wanted more girls in the family since it was just her and Heejin for so long. Soobin couldn’t help but replicate the smile that lit up your face. You looked so elated to be given such a compliment.

Soobin had decided to not interrupt the sweet moment, opting to stay at the threshold and watch quietly until you were finished. This is where he was mistaken, because everything was perfectly fine until Sungmin tried to go around you and his mother to the other side of the kitchen. He slipped past his mother easily, but when he got to you, his hand pressed against the small of your back, causing you to look up at him. To Soobin it looked like a scene out of a drama where the two main characters meet for the first time. It made his stomach turn.

Soobin watched with dark eyes as you moved out of Sungmin’s way, averting your eyes to help his mother grab a dry towel for her hands. He finally got the gall to speak up, taking a step up to the threshold, “Uh, ________, could you come with me upstairs? I need your help with something.”

The three of you turned at the sound of his voice, and you nodded, handing his mom the towel you were previously using before excusing yourself. You let Soobin take your hand as he led you upstairs, but despite you asking him what he needed, he refused to answer. So, before he could open the bedroom door, you stopped him and asked again what he needed help with.

The last thing you expected was for him to back you into the wall behind you and kiss you abruptly. You were taken so off guard that your body did the only thing it knew how to do which was reciprocate the action, following his lead. You succumbed for a moment before your brain quickly recovered its senses and got you to pull away with your hands on his chest.

“Soobin-” you warned him, watching his desperate eyes turn down from the rejection. Your hands moved from his chest up to his face, cradling his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I just-,” Soobin was overwhelmed by his internal conflict, not wanting to admit that he was jealous of his brother. But on the other hand, he wasn’t sure what excuse to use, “I-“

“Look, I understand, but I told you we can’t do that here. We’ll get other opportunities, you just have to be patient,” you reminded him gently. He listened to you earnestly, wanting to tell you the real reasoning for his conduct without seeming pathetic. For now, he would have to let you believe what you wanted. He nodded solemnly, apologizing again.

You accepted his apology before taking his hand in yours again, “Come on, let’s get dressed.”

― ― ―

The rest of the day went by smoothly for the most part. Soobin’s parents arranged for them to take Jiwon to a Christmas show in the city for kids, allowing you, Soobin, Heejin, Dohyun, and Sungmin to enjoy some time to yourselves for lunch. The five of you decided to go to a nice restaurant, and you had to admit it was great hanging out with Soobin’s siblings. You felt less pressure to come off as the perfect girlfriend than you did around his parents, and he noticed it. He liked seeing you be more carefree, like a weight was lifted from your shoulders.

Soobin was whispering to you about the cute old couple sitting at a table across from you when Heejin reached over and tapped you to get your attention, “Did you see their waiter?”

You shook your head, “No, why?”

“Watch for him, he’s so handsome. You can tell he works out. His muscles were practically busting out of his sleeves,” she fawned, her husband rolling his eyes and chuckling at her statement beside her.

You then began looking for the waiter in question, not noticing him until a few minutes later. When you caught sight of him and connected the dots that he was the one she was talking about, your mouth slacked in shock. He was handsome, but that was probably an understatement. His muscles were defined and looked almost model-esque under the black polo uniform shirt he wore. Not even just his muscles were attractive though, he had a nice head of brunet hair that was styled in a trendy way that framed his face nicely. And his smile was charming, enough to make the old lady he was serving blush when he spoke to her.

“He is nice looking,” you confirmed to Heejin before looking away, not wanting to stare.

Soobin thought about making a comment about the waiter not being that attractive, but his brother beat him to it, “I don’t see what’s so special about him. He’s got muscles, but that’s about it.”

You and Heejin both looked at him with questioning eyes before she spoke, “Are you kidding me? He could easily be on a magazine cover.”

“If someone told me he was an Instagram model, I wouldn’t think twice,” you backed her statement.

Sungmin merely shrugged, making Dohyun snort, “You’re just mad because you stopped going to the gym and don’t look as good as he does.”

His brother-in-law gave him a pointed look, taking a sip of his drink before replying, “I still work out, just not as much as I used to.”

The two men then started a back and forth that had the rest of you watching in amusement. Sungmin got out his phone to show off pictures of him in the gym recently, his muscles just as defined as the waiter’s. You hadn’t been able to tell because of the loose clothes he had been wearing, but he did look really good in the progress pictures he displayed. Beside you, Soobin felt himself tensing up, getting the urge to snap at his brother to put his phone away. No one wants to see those pictures, he thought to himself.

“Oh, Soobin, I was meaning to ask you, does Yeonjun still work out? I was going to ask him if he wanted to get a membership at my gym so he could be my gym partner,” Sungmin asked his brother, getting your attention as well.

“He does sometimes,” Soobin answered dryly.

“I’ll have to reach out to him soon. That guy was a beast at weightlifting,” Sungmin mused, chuckling to himself as he reached behind you to poke Soobin’s arm, “Not like this little string bean.”

Soobin rolled his eyes, feeling his ears turn pink as he got annoyed with his brother’s teasing. What made it worse was the small laughs you and his sister let out.

“You don’t go to the gym anymore?” his brother asked him.

“No.”

“Well, how do you expect to keep _______ around with no muscles? What if you need to save her from some creep? Can’t beat them up with those noodle arms you’ve got,” his sibling egged him on. At this point Soobin’s fists were clenching in his lap. He bit back every insult that came to mind.

“Soobin’s a lover anyways, not a fighter,” Dohyun defended him, “Remember when those guys in high school kept bullying him? He just ignored them and kept his head high. They left him alone eventually, right?”

Soobin nodded, now feeling embarrassed, “Can we just drop this? I think I’m ready for our check.”

“Our? You’re paying for the table?” his sister asked with a teasing grin.

“No, I’m paying for me and my girlfriend,” Soobin spoke with a tone so full of finality that you didn’t even want to insist paying for yourself. It was obvious he was in one of his moods again.

― ― ―

The Choi family home was quiet as the five of you returned to it after your dinner. Soobin had seemed a bit better, but clingier, leaving his arm interlocked with yours the entire drive back. You didn’t mind, of course, you loved moments like this. Soobin was the type to not really care for little acts of physical affection in public unless he initiated it, so when he did it always felt like a treat for you.

Heejin excitedly invited you to the kitchen to help her bake some cookies for when her parents and Jiwon returned later, so you joined her there. Soobin didn’t want to impede on your girl time, but the thought of being stuck in the living room with Dohyun and Sungmin made him want to lock himself in his room. Well, Dohyun wasn’t really the problem, but Sungmin was.

Soobin’s relationship with his brother was always a little strained, though, so this wasn’t a new thing. Their six-year age gap made it hard for them to be close growing up, and on top of that Soobin was a mama’s boy while Sungmin was closer with their dad. Soobin enjoyed being babied by the women in the family while Sungmin preferred playing sports with the men of the family. They didn’t always see eye to eye and often got into verbal fights.

Sungmin picked on Soobin a lot especially when the latter was going through puberty. As the two of them got older and Sungmin moved out to go to college, they found it easier to get along because they didn’t see each other as often. Yet, Sungmin didn’t seem to change his ways. He was still the annoying big brother who picked on his younger sibling relentlessly. The only difference now was that Soobin didn’t want to put up with it like he did as a kid.

In the kitchen, you and Heejin made yourselves busy, following a recipe she found online to make the cookies. In the living room, the three brothers relaxed onto the couches and recliners. They started talking about their parents and the plans for tomorrow. Soobin brought up how excited Jiwon was going to be to open all his gifts, to which Dohyun agreed.

“Has Heejin been harping on you for another one?” Sungmin asked Dohyun with a sneaky grin, his brother-in-law immediately nodding.

“Yeah, she’s been keeping track of her cycle so we can align everything, but that kind of stuff takes time, y’know.”

“She always said she wanted lots of kids,” Soobin spoke up, “Even when we were younger.”

“Yeah, I know. When she got pregnant with Jiwon she had asked if I wanted to have another one eventually,” Dohyun sighed, “It’s nice though. I like being a dad.”

“And it’s an excuse to get laid multiple times a week, so why not?” Sungmin laughed.

“Come on, dude, that’s our sister,” Soobin gave his brother a disgusted glance, not wanting to discuss his sibling’s sex life.

“It’s true though,” Dohyun smirked to himself, “She wants to do it all the time, and I mean, I can’t complain.”

“Yoona was like that too,” Sungmin mused, “She didn’t want kids, but her sex drive was crazy. None of my exes were like that. She wanted to do it all the time, and she was into some crazy stuff too.”

“Like bondage and shit?” Dohyun asked.

“Yeah, and role play. I’d never done that before her, but she was really into it. Yoona loved when I would call her names and spit on her. She liked it really rough. She wasn’t into love making, it was boring for her.”

“Yeah, slow sex is nice and all, but sometimes you just need to let loose. The girlfriend I had before Heejin never wanted to do anything outside of missionary, and it got old,” Dohyun admitted.

Soobin kept quiet, finding his mind wandering to thoughts he didn’t want to have. He recalled how after the weekend when he lost his virginity, you had asked him if he had any kinks he wanted to explore the next time you two got a chance. He didn’t have any in mind except for handcuffs, but when you tried to put some on him for his birthday it made him uncomfortable. On the widest notch, they were still too tight on his wrists. You had put them on, but you weren’t a fan of being restrained. You wanted to be able to run your hands through his hair and over his body, and he wanted you to do that too. So, the handcuffs were put away to never be touched again, and you two spent the night having sex in missionary. You graciously gave him a blowjob and called it a night. Soobin enjoyed himself and he had assumed you did too, but now he was doubting himself.

Soobin knew you liked it a little rougher than he did, asking to be choked and what not, but that made him nervous. He was nervous to hurt you or do something wrong; sure, that’s what a safe word is for, but he didn’t want you to ever have to use it. But if what his brothers said held any weight, then was there a possibility of you growing bored of Soobin and leaving him? He most definitely didn’t want that.

“Soobin?”

“Hm?” the boy looked up at his brother, looking like he had obviously checked out of their conversation several minutes ago.

“Do you have anything you want to watch?” Sungmin asked, holding up the TV remote. His brother shook his head, finally realizing that they were trying to decide what to put on.

“No, whatever is fine.”

― ― ―

The night of Christmas Eve came to be, ending after a nice dinner and s’mores eaten in the backyard around a fire that Soobin’s dad and Dohyun set up together. Heejin and her family were the first to call it a night again after Jiwon’s sugar-fueled frenzy ended with him falling asleep in his grandmother’s lap, his marshmallow and chocolate-covered face snuggling into the warmth of her coat. Similarly, you were curled up on your boyfriend’s lap, your arms tucked under the flaps of his jacket to hug his waist close. Your cheek rested against his shoulder while his rested on top of your head. You could’ve easily fallen asleep right then and there had his parents not urged you both to get to bed since it was getting late.

So now you were waiting for Soobin to finish his shower. To keep yourself busy, you got ahold of all the presents the two of you brought for your visit, double checking that you had everyone’s. You set them up in the corner of the room by your suitcase, making sure Soobin’s extra gift was still hidden inside of it. Just as you were zipping up the luggage the bathroom door opened, so you tried to act natural.

“I thought you’d be passed out by now,” your boyfriend commented, wiping the dew from his shower off of his face with his towel.

“I wanted to make sure the presents were ready for tomorrow,” you explained, making your way back to the bed where you peeled back the comforter to crawl underneath it. Once you were settled in, you watched Soobin finish up his night routine. You admired his bare back as he brushed his teeth and cleaned his face. He was completely unaware of your eyes on him, so you got to see things you usually wouldn’t. Like the nose scrunch he did as he leaned close to the mirror to inspect his face for blemishes. Or the way he bared his teeth to check that they were squeaky clean after brushing them. He was so cute without even trying.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Soobin’s voice startled you as you were so caught in up looking at him, you hadn’t expected him to talk so suddenly. He turned the bathroom light off before making his way into the bed beside you. His body wiggled close to yours, and his arm made itself comfortable over your waist. “I hope you like the present I got you.”

“It’s from you, so of course I’ll love it,” you smiled, pressing a light kiss to his cheekbone. His eyes closed as you did so, opening to look at you lovingly, “I know you’ll like the present I got you.”

“Oh, do you?” he mused, “You seem so confident. What if I don’t like it?”

Your mouth opened as you feigned offense, “I think I know you well enough to get you something you’ll like for Christmas.”

“I know, baby, I’m only teasing you,” he gave you a kiss on your cheek in return as a sign of apology, “So what did you get me?”

“I’m not telling you,” you snorted, “It would ruin the sentiment.”

“Ah, you’re no fun.”

“Go to sleep,” you poked his cheek gently, allowing him to rest his head against your shoulder after you shut off the bedside lamp. You shared quiet ‘goodnight’s as the room became shrouded in darkness for the night. Secretly, the both of you were thrumming with excitement for the next day, for Christmas to come. If only you two knew what the day had in store.

― ― ―

Christmas morning found the Choi family home awake and bustling at the early hour of 7:35 a.m. Heejin and her family arrived bright and early, her son practically bouncing from how happy he was to be opening presents soon. The family exchanged their usual greetings, getting breakfast ready as they waited for you and Soobin to meet them. Soobin woke up first, immediately smelling the breakfast being made downstairs.

Like the day before, he admired your sleeping form still in the bed beside him, your cheek marked faintly by the pillow it had been resting on all night. He smiled to himself and resisted the urge to snap a picture of you in such a vulnerable state before going into the bathroom to get ready.

You awoke not long after him, again noticing the empty bed with a frown. The expression didn’t stay for long, though, as you heard the flushing of the toilet in the bathroom. He must be getting ready, you thought. I guess I’ll do the same.

Your sock-covered feet touched the floor, then you were making your way to your luggage to get your outfit for the day. The outfit was planned a week in advance, and it was your first time wearing it as you had saved it for the holiday. You wore a neutral-colored, plaid skirt that matched well with a cream-colored blouse. You were pulling on your last sock just as Soobin emerged from the bathroom, his toothbrush sticking out of the corner of his closed, frothy mouth.

“You couldn’t finish brushing your teeth?” you laughed, standing from the bed and adjusting your skirt on your hips. His eyes were making their way over your body, and you suddenly felt small under his gaze. How could you be dating him for six months and still get butterflies when he looked at you like that? “Stop looking at me like that.”

Soobin’s eyes snapped back up to yours, breaking his trance as he quickly reached up to take the toothbrush out of his mouth. Through the foam of the paste, he managed to barely speak coherently, “Like what?”

“You know what,” you gave him a pointed look, a smile teasing the corner of his lips. He finished up brushing his teeth before stepping back into the bathroom to spit out the paste and wipe his mouth. When he was done, he walked up to you and gave you a big hug. His shirt smelled of him, but the minty smell of his toothpaste wafted over you as well.

“Merry Christmas,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, and finally your lips. You enjoyed it for a moment before pulling away which earned you a pout from your boyfriend.

“I didn’t brush my teeth yet,” you defended yourself, trying to put room between the two of you so he wouldn’t smell your morning breath.

“You could at least say it back,” he rolled his eyes, making you laugh.

“Merry Christmas, Soobin.”

“Thank you,” another grin appeared on his lips before he let you go to the bathroom to freshen up. Once you were done, you came back to the room to see him finishing getting dressed. He only had khaki pants and socks on. It seemed he was having trouble picking out a shirt.

“Ah, you’re done. Help me pick out a shirt?” he asked you, looking down at the four garments that were sprawled out on the bed. There was a dark green polo shirt, a white polo shirt, an off-white sweater, and a maroon turtleneck, “I want to match you.”

Your heart swelled at his comment, and you pointed at the sweater, “That one matches.”

Soobin nodded, taking the other options and putting them back in his suitcase before picking up the sweater and pulling it over his head. You couldn’t help but take the opportunity to admire his wide shoulders, bare torso, and finally his thin waist. The bottom of the sweater fell to a stop at his hips, causing you to look back up at his beautiful face instead of his body.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

The two of you made your way downstairs, the sounds of the family talking filling the house as well as Christmas music quietly playing from somewhere inside. Soobin took your hand, leading you into the dining room where the family was beginning to eat their breakfast. The meal went as usual with Jiwon excitedly rambling to anyone who would listen and the rest of the adults talking. Soobin was so enamored by Jiwon gushing to his grandfather about the big present Santa left at his house that he almost missed the way Sungmin examined you while you were busy talking to Heejin.

His eyes “subtly” waved over your outfit the way Soobin’s had, though his attention paused over your blouse a little longer than Soobin liked. Your boyfriend glared at his brother and inwardly thanked his mother for asking him a question that finally pulled his gaze away from you.

After breakfast was done and the dishes were being picked up, Jiwon begged and begged to open his gifts. Once the dining room was cleaned up, you and Soobin went back upstairs to grab the presents and met everyone back in the living room. Soobin took it upon himself to have you sit as close to him as possible at the edge of the sofa, leaving no room for anyone to sit beside you. You took his guidance as him merely wanting to sit with you, and you completely missed the pointed glance he gave his unaware brother from across the room.

“Alright, Jiwon, how about we all look in our stockings first?” Heejin suggested, going to the fireplace where six stockings were hung up. She pulled the first one down, handing it to her son before grabbing the next one and handing that one to her husband. The next one was hers, so she skipped it and handed the next one to Sungmin. As she went back to grab hers, Soobin stood up to grab the last two. He held out the one in his left hand to you, making you look up at him in confusion.

“Here, this one’s yours,” he said.

A mix of emotions flurried through you as you realized just how special you felt in that moment. Soobin’s family accepted you as apart of them enough to get you a stocking, and it made your heart splutter with happiness. You had never felt so loved by a family that wasn’t your own. It was endearing.

Your eyebrows went up and your eyes were comparable to a puppy, you reached out and accepted the stocking, making sure to thank his parents for including you.

“Of course, dear, you’re a part of the family now,” his mother smiled, urging everyone to look inside them. The time for stockings came to an end as Sungmin wanted to give the first gift to Jiwon.

Everyone took turns gift giving; Jiwon was so excited to play with all his new toys that he took a corner of the living room for himself to roll out the toy-car track he got from his grandparents. He spent the next hour or so playing with his dad and grandfather, laughing happily. Sungmin was appreciating the cocktail shaker set that he was gifted by his sister and brother-in-law. Soobin picked up the box with your gift in it, handing it to you to open. You did the same, offering the gift you got for him. After the exchange, you began opening them.

You peeled off the wrapping paper to reveal that the small box was black and sleek, with a familiar, swirly, silver design printed on the top. It was the logo of a jewelry brand you had seen before. With eager eyes, you opened the top and removed the protective padding. A flat, heart-shaped pendant sat in the middle with the letter ‘S’ engraved on it. It was dainty and simple, just how you liked your jewelry to be. You picked it up to get a better look at it when you noticed there was an inscription on the back of it as well. ‘Yours, always’

“Do you like it?”

You looked up to see Soobin had stopped opening his gift to watch you open yours. You nodded fervently, “I told you I’d love it.”

His eyes turned into crescents as he smiled, relieved. You urged him to keep opening his gift, so he did.

The box underneath the wrapping paper was similar in size to the one he gave you, as was the sleek design on the top. He quickly recognized it as a different jewelry company. With the top of the box out of the way he could see a bracelet nestled inside—no, two bracelets. Each one had half of a heart pendant on them that was currently together to make a full heart. When he picked up the first bracelet there was a slight pull before it disconnected from the second one, the heart breaking in half.

“I know it’s kind of cheesy, but I thought it would be cute to get a matching set . . .” you admitted sheepishly.

“It’s not cheesy,” he seemed offended that you would suggest it, his pouty lips becoming more apparent as he frowned from your comment, “I think they’re adorable.”

“Can you put my necklace on for me?” you asked him, holding it up. His face lit up before he nodded. His fingers carefully disconnected the ends of it to slip it around your neck and clasp it behind you. You took the extra bracelet out of the box, slipping it over your wrist before adjusting it to fit comfortably. Soobin mirrored your action, excitement covering his entire face as he held his wrist next to yours to watch the heart pieces magnetically connect. He looked almost as happy as Jiwon was for his presents.

― ― ―

Christmas day was drawing quickly to an end after a long day of festivities. Lunch time was full of delicious holiday foods and followed by treats that Heejin had baked. Sungmin offered to make the adults drinks with his new cocktail shaker set and whatever alcoholic beverages and mixers he could find in the house. Multiple drinks were consumed and after playing with a little one all afternoon, the grandparents decided to take naps. Jiwon was busy playing by himself, so the rest of you lounged around watching Christmas movies.

Dinner time came and went as everyone feasted on the leftovers before ending back up in the living room, seemingly in food comas.

Like clockwork, Jiwon was the first to fall asleep, curled up on his grandfather’s recliner with the stuffed bear that Soobin had gifted him tucked in his grasp. Soobin’s parents insisted that Heejin and Dohyun stay the night since they had been drinking, so sleeping arrangements were being discussed.

“They can take the pull-out couch,” Sungmin suggested, earning a confused look from his mother.

“Then where will you sleep?”

“Do you still have that futon?”

“Yes, it’s in the coat closet upstairs.”

“Then I’ll take that and sleep in the office,” he shrugged.

Heejin double-checked with him that it would be okay to take his spot on the couch, but he was persistent. With the sleep arrangements determined, everyone bid their goodnights and drifted to their parts of the house. Soobin’s parents and his sister’s family remained downstairs while Sungmin followed you and Soobin upstairs.

“I guess I’ll go unroll the futon,” he groaned, “That thing was uncomfortable ten years ago, I can’t imagine it now.”

You laughed, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “You might be better off on the floor at that point.”

Soobin watched his tipsy brother’s eyes gaze over your touch and up to your eyes, a lazy grin appearing on his face as he agreed with you. It made Soobin’s jaw tighten and his fist clench. Without thinking, he reached out to grab your free hand, tugging you closer to him. The action made your hand fall away from his brother and your head turn to look at him curiously.

“It’s just one night. You’ll be fine,” Soobin said curtly, “Goodnight.”

Like Sungmin, you were dumbfounded by your boyfriend’s bluntness, but he simply responded with a ‘goodnight’ before ambling off to the office at the opposite end of the hall. You followed Soobin to your room, waiting until he let go of your hand and the door was closed behind the two of you to speak.

“Okay, what’s your problem?”

Your boyfriend didn’t look at you. Instead, he kept walking to his side of the bed, picking up his phone, “Nothing.”

“Bullshit, Soobin. You’ve been acting weird on and off since we got here,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. As much as Soobin hated you seeing him act like this, a part of him was hoping you’d notice. You were right, he was acting weird, but for a reason. He didn’t like your attention on his brother and vice versa. If he could only get your attention by behaving differently, then so be it.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

He went around the room, picking up a change of clothes to change into before going into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. You sighed in frustration and made your way to the bed, sitting at the edge of it. The behavior Soobin was exhibiting reminded you too much of the time you found out he was a virgin, only this time it was obvious he was avoiding you, not because he was embarrassed but because he was annoyed. The thing is you weren’t sure why he would be annoyed. Did you do something wrong? Did you say something that upset him? Nothing came to mind, but you would only be able to wonder until he told you what was bothering him.

So, you waited for him to come out of the bathroom, and finally, after a good thirty minutes, the door cracked open. Your boyfriend averted eye contact with you, keeping his attention on everything but you, and you weren’t having it.

“Soobin, can you just tell me what’s wrong?”

“I told you, noth-“

“And I told you, I’m not buying it,” you cut him off, causing him to stop in his tracks at the end of the bed, “Did I do or say something that upset you?”

Oh no, he thought. She thinks I’m mad at her?

Not once did he consider that you would misunderstand him like this, but he guessed it made sense. The sudden irritation and snappy comments he made. If you acted that way towards him with seemingly no reason, then he’d be nervous, too.

No, surely she saw the way Sungmin looked at her.

“No,” he shook his head.

You got up from the bed, meeting him at the end of it, “Then can you tell me what’s bothering you? Please?”

Soobin looked into your concerned eyes and felt defeated. I guess now is the time to admit I’m jealous of my brother.

“Sungmin,” he answered, “Sungmin is my problem. Always has been, probably always will be.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, your head shaking slightly, “What did Sungmin do?”

Soobin scoffed, looking at you as if you told him some cruel joke, “Are you serious? You haven’t seen the way he’s been looking at you? You haven’t heard the way he talks about me?”

“Looking at me?” you asked, your head tilting as you pried for more information. You were so lost.

“Please,” he looked down at you with a glimpse of annoyance. He didn’t understand how you could be so oblivious, “He’s been eyeing you ever since we got here. He makes jokes about me at my expense to humiliate me in front of you. It didn’t help that the two of you hit it off so well on our first night here.“

Your shoulders slumped as he let out his exasperation, but a part of you felt the need to assure yourself. You were innocent, after all, “But you’re not mad at me, though?”

“No,” he shook his head, his eyebrows scrunching as if he were hurt by the insinuation, “Not mad, just . . . hurt. Sungmin has always tried to make me feel inferior to him in every aspect. For once, I had one thing that he didn’t. You. The one thing I was sure he couldn’t take away. Seeing the two of you getting along made me insecure, like maybe there was a chance he could take you from me.”

You took in every word he said, each one like a dagger to your heart. You had no idea he felt this way. His eyes refused to meet yours and his hands were occupied with his outfit from today in them. Your own hands reached up to grab the clothes out of his grasp, tossing them by your suitcases. One hand took his in its grip while the other caressed his cheek, “You could never lose me. Why would you even feel insecure? You’re perfect. I tell you that all the time.”

You pouted, making him smile lightly at your cute expression. He sighed before he shook his head.

“Sungmin always had girlfriends growing up, and I didn’t. I was tall and scrawny; he was big and buff. At lunch yesterday, you and Heejin were talking about how hot the waiter was and I don’t look anything like him or Sungmin. You and Sungmin seemed to share a lot of interests and got along well. I felt like maybe I wasn’t what you really wanted.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I can assure you that I never once thought about Sungmin or the waiter in an inappropriate way. You’re the only man I have eyes for. You’re the only one I love.”

Soobin didn’t realize how tense he was until your hand went from his cheek to the back of his neck. The touch instantly soothed him, making his muscles relax. He leaned forward until his forehead was against yours, a content smile on his face.

“I love you, too,” he replied, his heart racing as you kissed him. The kiss was short and sweet, but that didn’t stop his hands from resting on your waist and the small of your back. It didn’t stop his body from flushing with heat as he realized how close you were to him, or how much closer he wanted you to be.

A small noise emitted from the back of his throat as your teeth gently captured his lower lip in their grip. As you pulled away, you giggled at his glossy, yearning eyes, “I just realized our gifts to each other were perfect. They’re reminders that we belong to each other. I’m yours, and you’re mine.”

Soobin practically melted at the sentiment. His eyes bore into yours, but you were busy admiring the jewelry adorning your wrists between you. He stared at the pendant around your neck with his initial on it, reminding him that you were the love of his life.

Something inside of him was consuming him, urging him to act on his desires even though he was very much aware that this wasn’t the best place for it. Still, he found his self-control was weak in your presence, so he leaned in for another, more tender kiss. This kiss had drive and meaning to it, like he wanted to prove your words through actions.

For a moment you felt yourself slipping into his fervor, returning the kiss with just as much determination. But that responsible part of you nagged that this wasn’t the place or time. So, you regretfully started to pull away again, causing him to whine.

“Soobin-“

“I know. I know, but- Please, I need you. It’s been so long,” his chest was starting to move with bated breaths as his hands stayed put on your hips, as if he was keeping you from slipping away.

“I know, baby, but we can’t. We promised your mom we would be on our best behavior. And I would die if your parents heard us,” you admitted, the thought making your nerves go haywire. If his parents heard the two of you having sex, you were certain you would never recover from the embarrassment and shame. You wouldn’t be able to look them in the eyes ever again, “Not even just your parents, but your whole family. Your brother is literally down the hall.”

For some reason, the idea of his brother hearing him fuck the shit out of you made his hair stand on end. Maybe that’s the reminder Sungmin needed to finally get the hint and leave the two of you alone . . .

“We can be quiet,” he remarked, though it seemed he was trying to convince himself instead of you, “Besides, these walls are thick. Sungmin won’t hear us. As for my parents, their room is downstairs on the opposite side of the house, there’s no way they’ll hear anything from up here.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to stand your ground, but it was proving to be difficult. If there was one thing you hated about dating Soobin it was how weak he made you. From his pouty lips to his big, round eyes to his whiny voice, it all made it so hard to deny him. And honestly, the way your body was reacting, you didn’t want to.

“I’m serious,” he continued, “One time when we were little, we broke a lamp up here while we were looking through Heejin’s stuff and our parents never heard it. We’ll be fine.”

Your resolve was quickly slipping away, and he could see it, because a teeny tiny smirk was creeping onto the corner of his lips as he realized he got you—hook, line, and sinker.

You had to admit, as much as the idea of having sex in his family home made you nervous, it was also kind of . . . exciting. You had never done something so risky before, and it thrilled you.

“Just kiss me,” you sighed, pulling on his belt loops to bring him closer. He didn’t hesitate to obey, his full lips capturing yours easily. They moved so swiftly, mirroring his hands that were on the small of your back. His fingertips skimmed over your hips until they were at the hem of your shirt, sneaking underneath them to touch your skin. The sensation tickled, making you shiver. Soobin loved the affect he had on you.

It wasn’t until Soobin’s back bumped against the wall behind him that you realized the two of you had been moving. The bump caused a startled groan to come from his parted lips, making you giggle. His fingers dipped under the edge of your skirt, touching the cotton material of your underwear. That’s when you suddenly remembered the second gift you had been saving for him. You were waiting until you two left his parent’s, but you couldn’t think of a better time than now to give it to him.

Soobin’s wide eyes looked at you in puzzlement as you pulled away, his petulant mouth making your heart skip a beat. He watched you with curiosity as you bent down over your suitcase, unzipping it and pulling out a small gift bag. There was no brand or design indicating where it was from, so he was left wondering what could possibly be inside. You held the bag out to him, telling him to open it. He noted the glint of excitement in your eyes before he pulled the tissue paper out from the top, his fingers digging in to feel a foreign material. The gift felt rough, thin, flimsy, like a small piece of clothing. When his hand protruded from the bag, a pair of lingerie was in his large grasp, the cherry red lace hanging over his palm with the tag still attached to it.

“Should I go put it on now?” you asked, looking up at him not-so-innocently through your eyelashes. You held back a chuckle as his Adam’s apple bobbed underneath the skin of his throat and he nodded.

“Y-yes,” he basically panted, feeling as though his body was buzzing. He let you slip the garments out of his hand as you reached up to press a kiss against his lips. Then, he was left dumbfounded, watching you saunter into the bathroom and close the door behind you to change. While he tried to calm his breathing, he was becoming painfully aware of the throbbing between his legs. He looked down to see a tent forming under his khakis and his head fell back. There was no way he was lasting long with the way things were going.

Only another minute passed before the bathroom door cracked open and you were shyly walking out, fighting back the urge to cover yourself with your arms. Soobin stopped pacing to look at you, his eyes shamelessly motioning over your body. The red lace hugged you in all the right places and was just see-through enough to leave some things to the imagination while also driving him insane. His tongue darted out to coat his lips and stop any drool from escaping at the sight. For fuck’s sake, you’ve seen her naked before, why are you getting so worked up? he thought to himself.

But this was so much different. He had never seen a woman in lingerie up close like this; it was mesmerizing.

“You look . . . “ his sentence trailed off as he walked over to you, almost too afraid to touch you. You looked like something out of a magazine. Unreal, “You look gorgeous.”

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire, nearly as hot as the space between your thighs, which was practically begging to be soothed, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he spoke without thinking, his eyes trained on the way your breasts were pushed up with the pressure of the bra holding them. If his self-control were any worse, he would’ve ripped it off of you already, but his body was almost frozen in shock. He didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Can you just touch me already?” you whimpered, your thighs pressing together under his gaze.

Your boyfriend’s lust-filled eyes met yours, but there were too many thoughts running through his mind to pinpoint one, “What do I, uh- What do you want me to do first?”

“I don’t care,” you got close to him, wetting your lips as you moved him near the bed, “Anything. Everything. I’m all yours to play with. Just use me the way you want to.”

Of all the dirty things he’s ever heard come out of your mouth, those words caused a deep, visceral reaction in him. I’m all yours to play with. Just use me the way you want to. Goosebumps erupted all over his arms as his brain turned to mush. He felt as if he could bust in his pants right then and there.

“Are you sure?” he asked, your lips ghosting against yours. His breath was warm and inviting, tasting slightly of the chocolate candies his mother had given to them shortly before they turned in for the night.

“Absolutely.”

Now, Soobin didn’t consider himself the type to take charge in your relationship, or even in general. It just wasn’t in his nature. You were the one who made plans that he went along with. For the most part, you initiated the physical affection you two shared. The kisses, the hand holding, the sex. Soobin was merely there to enjoy everything you offered him, and he liked it that way. Some would say he was submissive.

But with the way you were acting now, it’s almost like something inside of him switched. He didn’t want to lay back and receive. He wanted to be the one in command.

“Get on your knees for me,” the words rolled of his tongue before he could stop himself. He had shocked himself, so he followed with an uttered, “Please.”

You didn’t hear the second part, you were too busy sinking onto your knees, the tender flesh finding the hardwood floor uncomfortable. But you were so desperate to please him that you didn’t care. You could bare the discomfort for a few minutes if it meant the both of you could get some satisfaction from it.

“Do you want me to suck you off, baby?” you asked, looking up at him with the most sultry eyes he’d ever witnessed. It felt like a sin to see you in such a compromising position.

He couldn’t muster up the words, so he nodded eagerly, already reaching for the belt around his waist. You sat back and watched him undress his lower half, subconsciously gnawing at the skin of your lip as he unveiled his beautiful erection.

With his pants and briefs around his ankles, you sat back up on your knees and gripped the base of him in your right hand. The smallest of sighs escaped his pink, parted lips. You did what you knew he loved which was peppering sweet kisses along his length, spreading them out over his sensitive, red, veiny skin. The final kiss was placed against his tip, where you felt the tiniest dribble of precum leaking. Wanton whimpers spilled from him as your mouth suckled at his head, your hand teasingly squeezing the rest of him.

“You have to be quiet if you want me to keep going,” you warned him, though the way you looked up at him didn’t help. How could he not moan when you looked so pretty just for him and with his dick in your mouth?

Nonetheless, Soobin nodded, choking back a drawn-out whine that threatened to release when you slowly took as much of him as you could into your mouth. He had to peel his eyes away from your lips enveloping his erection until you couldn’t take it anymore. His hands shook at his side, not knowing what to do with themselves. That’s when he remembered what you had said. Just use me the way you want to. He wanted to do just that.

Your boyfriend looked back down to see you pumping the base of his erection as you bobbed your head to take the rest of it. A shiver went down his back as he put his thoughts into motion. His fingers reached up to comb your hair away from your face, letting him get a better view of the sinful things you were doing to him. With your hair pulled away and into his fist, he carefully twisted the locks and tugged on them. Your lips parted as you let out a small moan against his tip, your tongue laving the tender skin. The action caught you off guard, but you loved every second of it. You prayed he would do it again, and your prayers were answered. You took him in your mouth again until his tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag a little bit. Soobin couldn’t handle the sight of the drool and precum leaking from the corners of your lips, so he pulled gently on your hair again. You relaxed, his dick falling out of your mouth followed by the both of you whining from the loss.

“Am I doing good, Bin?” you asked innocently, pressing another kiss to his tip as you took him in your hand again.

“So good, baby,” he panted quietly, “I’m gonna c- ah . . . cum soon.”

You stifled a giggle as you continued to suckle his head before saying, “Okay, my love. Where do you want to cum?”

Soobin was so wrapped up in the euphoric pleasure that was your hands and lips that he hadn’t even considered where he wanted to finish. Your breasts were always his first thought, but he had done that the most. He wanted to try something different. He looked down at you, picturing his semen decorating your pretty face. Just the imagery in his head alone was enough to make his cock twitch in your grasp.

“Your face,” he said, his hand caressing your cheek as the other gave your hair another tug.

The opposing actions, caring and dominating, had the space between your thighs pooling with desire. You wanted his cum so bad. You didn’t care where it went.

Your hand went to work pumping him as your tongue gave the underneath of his head some love, kitty licking the area that drove him crazy. The entire time you kept eye contact with him, his eyes getting more and more droopy the closer he got. Anytime now . . .

Soobin had to catch his lip in between the grit of his teeth to keep himself from moaning out your beautiful name. Rope after rope of his silky white seed spewed from him, falling onto your face. Your cheek and lips were the main victims, but as he twitched some landed just below your eye. You closed your eyes and relished in the warmth decorating your skin. Soobin’s knees nearly buckled at the obscenity before him, and he was almost convinced he would cum again from looking at it. When your tongue ran along the seams of your lips to collect as much as you could, he tried not to have a heart attack.

Your hand went from his dick to your face, scraping up the liquid to feed it between your lips where you wanted it. Soobin abruptly left to the bathroom, leaving you confused on your knees. You heard the faucet turn on and then off and he returned with a wet hand towel. Without a word, he stood in front of you again, leaning down to wipe the residue of him off of your skin. He concentrated on cleaning you, completely unaware of the way you were making heart eyes at him. You were falling deeper in love with him by the second.

When he caught your eyes observing him, he remembered all the other things that he wanted to do to you. He pressed a loving kiss to your lips, pulling away all too soon to keep the both of you from getting carried away, “Lay down on the bed for me.”

You moved into action, taking his helping hand as you got up from the floor and onto the bed. Soobin went to the bathroom to toss the towel on the counter before returning to you, still recovering a bit from his orgasm. Now it was your turn, and he had no plans of being gentle with you.

You lied on your back naively, looking over the red imprints on your knees from sitting on them. Soobin’s large hands covered them, massaging the aching skin before leaning down and pressing kisses to each one. A smile made its way to your lips only to immediately be replaced with a gasp. Soobin’s hands had run down your legs from your knees to your ankles, pulling them so that you were at the edge of the bed with him standing between your legs. He looked down at you with a smirk that was hiding laughter behind it as he reached up and captured your face in his hands.

His lips and tongue felt like heaven against your own, but it was his hands caressing your body that made your nerves buzz with electricity. It was the way his hands paused to cup his favorite part of you—your breasts. You were almost certain you heard a mewl get caught in the back of his throat as his fingers skimmed over your nipples through the lace of your bra.

You expected his hands to keep moving south, to the place you wanted him the most, but his hand went back up your chest only stopping when he got to your throat. His fingers fell into that familiar position right below your jaw, the pads of his fingertips barely pressing into the divots of your skin. He knew your weaknesses like the back of his big, strong, veiny hand.

“Please fuck me, Soobin,” you begged him, your hands gripping at the material of his sweater which you were now wondering why it was still on him.

“I will, baby, be patient,” he cooed against your cheek before pressing a sweet kiss to it. He let you pull his sweater over his head for him and toss it to the side.

Soobin got onto his own knees in front of you, taking a moment to admire the way you looked at him while his hands massaged your thighs. The skin seemed to get softer the higher he went, and your legs moved on their own, spreading for him. The thin, red lace was the only thing stopping him from going down on you. His fingers extended out to the hem and tugging on them. With your eager assistance he managed to slip them down your thighs and eventually off of you.

With you bare in front of him, he couldn’t contain the pathetic moan that left his lips and made you chuckle. His hands maneuvered themselves under your thighs so that he could open them more and place himself in the middle. His cheeks tickled the inside of your thighs as he leaned in, not yet touching or kissing you the way you wanted him to. No, he simply enjoyed the smell of you, waiting for him to do anything and everything. Your thighs shifted in his hold restlessly, the feeling of his warm breath against you making you fidgety.

“You’re so impatient,” he remarked, his dark eyes looking up at your desperate ones as he finally moved forward and licked between your slippery folds. Before you could stop yourself, the loudest moan you had made until then fumbled over your lips. Your hand flew to your mouth, covering it as a reminder to be quiet. Soobin laughed lightly at your reaction.

“It’s not funny,” you mumbled, now lying completely on your back.

“That’s it, baby, just lie down,” his words were quiet and way too gentle for the way he began to devour you. His supple, pouty lips were moving so fluidly against you, kissing you and collecting your juices as they went. His tongue covered any piece of you it could, but mostly paid attention to your clit which had your thighs tensing and your toes curling. His lips curled into a smile when he realized you were getting close, and he put as much focus as possible into sending you over the edge.

“Oh my god, you’re so good at this,” you whispered, but really wanting to scream it at the top of your lungs. Soobin could feel himself getting hard again just from the noises you made and the words you spoke. If only you knew what you do to him.

Your orgasm snuck up on you faster than you expected, making your leg jump from the impact of it. Soobin’s hand held it tight, keeping it in place as he continued to lick you through your high. The sweet taste of your cum dripped onto his tongue, and he welcomed it. In fact, he dove in for more. His hands around your thighs continued to grip you.

The threshold from your orgasm to overstimulation was a little thicker than Soobin’s but it hit you just as hard. Heat flashed across your body and your thighs began vibrating.

“Soobin, it-“ you panted like a dog, your back arching off of the sheets. Your hands reached down to his head, your fingers threading into his black hair. You gave the tresses a gentle tug in an effort to back him off, but he was determined. His suckling lips were holding onto your clit with purpose, and that was to give you the best two orgasms he could, “Soobin, it’s t-too much.”

“Do you want me to stop, baby?”

Yes. No.

“I-“

Another loud moan began in your throat, and his hand made its way up to your chin. The next thing you knew, long, slender fingers were being stuffed between your lips as they stifled your noises. This was new, and you loved it.

Your tongue laved around his digits like they were candy, your plush lips vibrating against his knuckles as you moaned quietly this time. Your second orgasm washed over you much more gently than the first one. But it was way more exhilarating.

Soobin grunted as he watched you suck on his fingers, the sight so erotic he thought he might cum from it, “You’re so fucking hot.”

His lips pressed a chaste kiss against your apex before he stood up, carefully pulling you into a sitting position again. He then found comfort in kissing you until he couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t until his wet fingers were skimming over your shoulder that he realized your bra was still on. His hands moved from your shoulders to the top of the garment, dipping under the edges to free your nipples.

Your breasts. Sigh. He would admire them for forever and a day if you let him. But for now, kissing and touching them would suffice. You quickly reached behind your back to unhook the clasp and let the garment fall away from you. Once it was off, you tossed it to meet his discarded clothes and your matching underwear.

Your boyfriend shook his head, “Maybe I should teach you to be more patient. You could use a lesson in that.”

Neither of you were used to him speaking like this when you had sex, but you both respectively decided that you liked it. In fact, you could get used to it.

A pout puckered your lips together in response, making him shake his head again with a small laugh, “Don’t act all innocent now. You do need to be more patient. And who would be better to teach you than me? Huh?”

Your doe eyes looked up at him like he was a dream.

“Answer me, baby.”

His tone wasn’t demanding or harsh in any way, but the way he said it made you not want to defy him regardless. He was clearly trying out this new, dominant side of him, and you were enjoying it.

“You, Soobin.”

“And why am I the best teacher for you?” he asked, his voice softer than before, like he was genuinely curious. His hand reached up and grasped your chin delicately, his thumb stroking your face.

“Because you’re the only one for me,” you answered honestly, “I’m all yours.”

Melting. That’s what it felt like. Like Soobin’s heart was melting. But elsewhere, his loins were on fire.

An animalistic growl emitted from deep in his chest as he guided your face to his again. Lips locked in a passionate kiss.

“That’s right,” he muttered into the skin under your ear, the urge to mark you there growing by the second, “You’re mine, _______.”

“Always.”

Even though it wasn’t a question, you nodded. Maybe it was to reassure him or just to agree, you weren’t sure. You couldn’t think straight. The only thing you could think about was how badly you wanted him to fuck you. Little did you know he was thinking the exact same thing.

I’m all yours to play with.

Your words echoed in his head like a mantra. A startled noise spilled from your lips as Soobin gripped your naked hips, “I want you to ride me.”

You were so horny you would agree to almost anything he wanted. You nodded, scooting back on the bed to give him room to lay down, his ebony hair resting against the pillows underneath him. Cowgirl was his favorite position; that you were fully aware of. Yet you still found it so attractive the way he looked up at you through half-lidded eyes as you climbed onto his lap. His now fully re-erect length was tucked underneath you, your heat making his hips want to buck up into it.

Your knees pressed into the sheets on either side of Soobin’s waist and your hands rested against the faint outline of abs he displayed. His dick felt amazing against your folds as you slowly drug your hips back and forth. The pure arousal between your legs coated him, causing him to become wet and precum to start leaking from him once again.

“Wait,” you stopped your movements completely, looking at Soobin who stared back at you with concern and puzzlement in his eyes, “We don’t have any condoms.”

For a moment you felt your chest deflate of hope, but you quickly recovered. After all, you have been on birth control . . .

“I don’t mind if you don’t,” you shrugged, the tension between you growing thicker.

You swore you saw his eyes gloss over for a second at the idea of him fucking you raw, and honestly it was so hot, “Ar-are you sure?”

“Yes,” you had never nodded so quickly in your life, “Who knows, maybe having your kids wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”

You made the comment as a joke, and even though Soobin laughed along with you, his dick twitched at the idea of you pregnant with his child. What has gotten into me? he thought to himself.

After too much teasing and just the right amount of self-control that kept you from begging him to continue—you really were practicing being patient—he finally reached between the two of you. He took his bare dick, waiting as you sat up fully before feeding it between your lips. It had been over two weeks since the last time you two had sex, and you always got butterflies during this part. Soobin wasn’t huge, but he was definitely bigger than most. You sucked in a sharp breath as you slowly sunk down onto him.

You mumbled under your breath, “Oh my god.”

“Holy fu- . . .” he exhaled.

All of those people were right, Soobin thought. It’s one hundred percent better without a condom. He could feel every ridge of your warm insides, and it felt like the closest thing to what he imagined heaven being.

You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his shoulders as you started to rock your hips back and forth. His cock pulled almost all the way out, until his tip was the only thing inside of you, before you moved back and enveloped him again. A steady and gratifying rhythm began with your hips meeting his and pretty soon you were losing yourself to the pleasurable feeling. Your lower lip was virtually caged between your teeth, biting back any loud noises that threatened to escape.

Below you, Soobin couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. The way your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. The way your lip twitched when he filled you up just right. The way your necklace shifted around your neck. The way your boobs vaguely shook with each movement. Which reminded him . . . You wanted him to play with you, right? Say less.

His large hands captured your breasts, moulding them as if they were his own personal stress toys. He gently squeezed and massaged the flesh, stopping only to tweak your nipples between his fingertips. A tiny squeak of pain mixed with pleasure got stuck in your throat, making Soobin smirk.

“Does that hurt, baby?”

You shook your head, your pace quickening as you felt that familiar twisting feeling in your gut coming on, “No. No, it feels amazing.”

“Mm,” he hummed, his lips parting as he did it again, this time a little harder. His fingers took your nipples in their grip and twisted, making a whimper fall off your tongue even louder than before, “Shh, baby. If you keep making noise we’ll have to stop, remember?”

Your head nodded, but your mind was elsewhere, only half-listening to him. You were getting too close to your release to give him your full attention.

Soobin’s tongue slid over his lower lip, watching you lose yourself. As much as he wanted to cum in you like this, he didn’t want the moment to end quite yet.

“Please tell me you’re close,” you whined in a hushed tone.

“Almost.”

Your head lolled back in agony. Your thighs were starting to burn and the aches lingering from your two previous orgasms didn’t help. Soobin could tell you were getting weaker, so he decided to help you speed up the process. He put his thumb between his lips, letting enough saliva bubble up between the puffy pink skin to wet his finger. He then put it between your bodies, finding your clit after a few seconds of searching for it. Your body shivered from his touch, and your knees shifted as you began to ride him with more vigor than before.

“Soobin, I’m not gonna last much longer. Are you almost there?” you asked again, stabilizing your hands on his knees behind you. At this pace you were bound to explode at any second.

“Don’t worry about me, baby. Just cum.”

And you did just that.

Soobin’s lips were frozen in an open position, somehow still shocked by how hot you were when you orgasmed despite experiencing this a handful of times before. Your eyes were screwed together, and a quiet moan squeaked through your lips. Your fingers gripped the flesh of his knees behind you, making Soobin’s legs shake from the pain.

“R-red.”

Soobin hadn’t realized his thumb was still rubbing your clit until you were stuttering the safe word, one of your hands flying between your legs to pull it away. Your boyfriend apologized, moving the thumb back to your hip where he stroked the skin tenderly. Your hand rested against his happy trail, feeling his stomach shift with each ragged breath he took.

“You didn’t finish,” you mumbled, your eyes still closed.

“I know,” his eyes twinkled up at your beautiful face as your eyes opened and your gaze finally met his, “You’ve still got one more in you, don’t you?”

He chuckled when he noticed your subtle gulp of indecision.

“Come on, just one more,” he used the one thing he knew you couldn’t resist. His pout. Your eyes drifted to his uniquely pointed, supple lips, and he could’ve sworn he felt you clench around him, “I’ll take good care of you after, okay? Promise.”

“Okay,” you nodded, redistributing your weight as he sat up with you still on his lap. With him still seated inside of you, you wound your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a passionate kiss that had your head spinning—then again, it could have just been the multiple orgasms he just gave you. His own arms encircled your waist, pulling you as close to him as possible.

You didn’t know what you were expecting, but it wasn’t Soobin picking you up off his lap and spinning the two of you so that you were under him on the mattress. A gasp left you as your head hit the pillows and Soobin got himself comfortable between your hips again, having been removed during the shift. You suddenly felt so empty, and you hated it.

“Just one more, and then we’re done,” he whispered against your neck before suckling the skin, intending to leave a nice hickey.

“I know you want me to be patient, Soobin, but I need you to fuck me,” you sighed, your fingers threading through his silky hair.

Your boyfriend softly laughed in your ear as his lips pressed a kiss against the shell of it, “I will. I’ll fuck you so good you won’t remember anyone’s name but mine.”

You clenched around nothing, your thighs shifting around his hips. You ached for him, and he knew it.

Soobin distracted you with kisses all over your face and neck that when his erection was entering you, you were taken completely off guard. A loud whimper left you before you could stop it, and Soobin shook his head, “Shhh. Be quiet or I’ll have to make you be quiet. You don’t want that, do you, baby?”

He expected you to shake your head, but instead he got your hazy eyes looking back at him as if his suggestion were a treat. He especially didn’t expect your walls to tighten around him after he said it.

“You want me to shut you up?” he asked with a smirk tugging at his lips, “You want me to shove my fingers back in your filthy mouth? Huh?”

You were practically on cloud nine at this point as you nodded, “Yes, please.”

“And you used your manners,” he marveled as he started thrusting shallowly into you. You bit back every noise you wanted to make. You were doing so good for him, and you didn’t want to fuck up now, “Good girl.”

Another moan almost escaped you, but you swallowed it back before it could erupt. This couldn’t get any better, you thought. But it did.

Soobin’s right hand secured his position over you, gripping the bed beside you for security. The other reached up to your face, his thumb rubbing over your messy, slightly swollen lips. You immediately parted them for him to put his fingers in, and he smiled at your impatience. I’ll let it slide, since you look so hot right now.

His index and middle finger slipped past your lips, sliding over your tongue with ease. You closed your mouth around him, humming in satisfaction at the feeling of being full in two places. He started to match the pace of his fingers to his cock, sliding both slowly but with purpose. You felt his fingertips kiss the back of your throat just as you felt his tip kiss your cervix. You were in paradise.

“You’re doing so good, _______,” he kissed your ear, his breath tickling it, “You look so pretty, all for me. My pretty little slut. Isn’t that right, baby?”

Slut? Your head was spinning again. You’ve been waiting for this for so long.

You nodded in agreement, muttering against his fingers, “Mhmm.”

“Who does this mouth belong to?” he whispered, making your heart skip a beat.

He took his fingers out of your mouth just enough for you to speak, “You, Soobin.”

“And who does this pussy belong to?”

It felt like he was speaking a foreign language. Your boyfriend was far from innocent, but you had never heard him speak like this before. Your boyfriend wasn’t possessive in his day-to-day life, and you didn’t want him to be. But in the bedroom? Him being possessive and talking dirty to you like this caused a tsunami between your legs. You weren’t sure why but seeing your cute and harmless Soobin become so jealous and domineering was bewitching you.

“You. You. It’s all for you,” you repeated, the familiarity of another impending orgasm creeping in your muscles.

Soobin smirked again, marking your collarbones with his lips and ambition, “That’s right, baby. I’m all yours, and you’re all mine. No one else’s.”

You shook your head, your breaths becoming more and more bated as he continued to roughly thrust into you, “No one.”

He stuffed his fingers back into your mouth gently, hiding a smile when you immediately moaned around his knuckles. The fingernails of your right hand dug into the skin of his lower back as your left hand found comfort in his hair. Your hips began bucking up to meet his thrusts. You were getting so close again.

“Gonna cum one last time for me, my love?”

You nodded lazily, your energy dissipating. Soobin’s thumb caressed your face before he leaned down to press a kiss to the corner of your lips which were still occupied. His thrusts became more driven and erratic as he felt himself also getting close to his orgasm. He edged himself one too many times, so this time was going to be big. It was then that he remembered he was fucking you raw. When I cum, it will fill her up, he thought. It’s going to seep out of her. This is a fucking dream.

“Are you sure I can cum inside?” he asked once more, right as he was on the verge of blowing. He didn’t want to do it if you changed your mind.

You nodded again, fighting the urge to whine when his fingers slipped out of your lips again.

“Are you posit-“

“Yes, fuck- Please fill me up!” your eyes shut again as you buried your face into his neck to stifle your noises. You held onto him for dear life, continuing to buck your hips against his until your fourth orgasm of the night washed over you. Your walls pulsing around him on top of your fingers tugging at his hair was the last straw; he couldn’t hold back anymore, even if he tried.

“Shit,” his voice cracked. His hips stuttered, and the arm he was using to hold himself up was losing strength. His warm cum filled you, covering your insides. Once he was empty and his cock finished twitching, he slowly pulled out of you and paused to gain composure.

You closed your eyes, letting yourself fully relax, and for a moment it felt like you were sinking into the mattress. As your breathing started to return to normal, you felt the sensation of Soobin’s cum beginning to leak from you.

A small gasp left your lips, getting your boyfriend’s attention, “I can’t get cum on these sheets, Soobin.”

In his post-orgasm haze, he somehow forgot about the fact that he just came inside of you for the first time. He was so used to using condoms that he didn’t think about the mess after.

Without a word, his fingers skimmed over your torso and down between your legs, scooping up the liquid that was starting to leak. You assumed he was going to wipe it on his body or even yours, but apparently, he wasn’t done surprising you tonight. He carefully slipped his two fingers back into your folds, shoving them inside to gather more of his cum on the digits. Your head dug back into the pillows as you groaned, and Soobin chuckled at your response.

“Do you want it?” he asked as he withdrew the cum-coated fingers from you, holding them up in front of your face so you could see the liquid dripping over his hand.

Even though you had just experienced four overwhelming orgasms and fatigue was slowly settling in your bones, you couldn’t deny his offer. Something inside of you just couldn’t resist him. Though, it’s not like you wanted to.

You nodded, pornographic moans reverberating around his finger as you sucked your mixed semen off of his skin and the palm of his hand. As you licked the residue clean, he leaned forward and replaced his hands with his lips, capturing you in a kiss that was so full of love you thought your heart might implode.

You regretfully pulled away first, making Soobin hmph in dissatisfaction, “I’m sorry, I love you, but I need to take a bath or shower or something soon. I feel dirty.”

Soobin laughed, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple, “After all of that, I do too. I’ll go run the water for us.”

“That sounds perfect.”

The water felt like an orgasm in itself. The way the warm water hit the tense muscles of your bare back. Soobin carefully stepped in behind you, facing the running water while you faced him. He smiled down at you, admiring your oblivious self. Your eyes were closed as you enjoyed the stream, a lazy grin on your lips that only got wider when he leaned down to press a kiss against them.

“_______, my love, would you like me to wash your hair for you?” he asked, his large hands resting on your waist.

“I would love that.”

Your boyfriend picked up the bottle of shampoo, lathering some in his hand before putting the bottle back. He instructed you to close your eyes and tip your head back as he began gently massaging your scalp. A satisfied hum involuntarily left your lips, making him giggle. You poked his side playfully, and he apologized. He then got the conditioner and repeated the same actions, sliding his fingers through your hair as the water washed away any dirt and oil from the day—but mainly from the last thirty minutes.

He wasn’t sure what to do when he finished, but your eyes were still closed, and you seemed to just be enjoying the water again. So, he took it upon himself to get a washcloth and douse it with enough soap. He slid the cloth first over your shoulders in circular motions, going down your arms, then your back. He reluctantly passed them over your neck and chest, inspecting the faint purple-red marks that were bound to become darker overnight.

“I’m sorry,” he confessed, making you open your eyes in confusion.

“About what, baby?”

“For leaving so many marks,” he said, caressing the spots with his thumb gingerly, “I’m sorry if I went a little too far earlier by the way . . . Calling you a slut and all that. Thinking about it now, it seems a little excessive.”

You shook your head, subtly biting your lip, “Don’t be, I liked it. All of it. Y’know, I really love how soft and sweet you are, but sometimes it’s nice to let go and be a little . . . wild, I guess? I know you would never intentionally hurt me, so it’s fine. And as for the hickeys, don’t worry. I can cover them up with make up in the morning.“

Soobin nodded, his hands still running the sudsy washcloth over your stomach and waist, “And I’m sorry for getting so jealous. I trust you in every sense of the word, but my pride gets the best of me sometimes.”

“We have plenty of time to work on it, but it really wasn’t that bad. Honestly, if I knew you being jealous would lead to this, I would’ve gotten you riled up ages ago.”

“Don’t say that,” he shook his head, scoffing. You laughed, pulling him into another kiss as you assured him you were joking. His kisses were peppered from your lips to your cheeks, jaw, neck, chest, until he got to your sternum.

He lowered to his knees, washing your legs starting from your feet and calves. His hands so gently circled over your knees and up your thighs. His eyes found yours as he pressed a kiss to your tummy, making a shiver run down your spine. If you weren’t so tired, you could have gone another round right then and there.

Soobin let you cleanse the rest yourself as he quickly washed himself up. Once the both of you were done, he shut the water off and toweled himself off before draping you in your own towel. He pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, sweatpants, and a t-shirt and went back into the room to check his phone while you got dressed.

The both of you brushed your teeth together at the sink—you laughing through the froth of your toothpaste as Soobin made faces at you in the mirror. After you wiped your mouth clean, you followed him into the bedroom, ready to relax under the covers and go to sleep.

“I’m gonna go get a glass of water,” Soobin said, going towards the door as you laid back against the pillows, “Don’t fall asleep before I give you your goodnight kiss.”

You scoffed with a smile, “Yes sir.”

Soobin was sure to be quiet in every move he made—closing the bedroom door and walking down the stairs. He peeked over the stair railing to see his sister and Dohyun sleeping on the pull-out couch, and Jiwon was still curled up peacefully on the recliner. His feet padded softly against the lower steps before he touched the floor. He made his way to the kitchen but was shocked to see the dim glow of the oven light already on. Mom always turns that off, he thought.

He approached the doorway to see his brother already looking through the fridge.

“What are you doing up?” he whispered, causing Sungmin to stand at attention.

“Oh,” his brother relaxed once he realized it was him, “Came down to get a drink. You?”

“Same.”

His brother gave him a pointed look, with a smirk wiggling the corner of his lips, “Thirsty?”

Soobin’s eyebrows furrowed at his brother’s odd demeanor, “Yeah?”

“I bet. I would be too if I just had the sex you did.”

Your boyfriend froze, not sure if he should be nervous or embarrassed.

“Don’t worry,” Sungmin laughed quietly, “You guys weren’t loud or anything. I just heard when I went to the bathroom earlier. Sounded like _______ was having fun.”

Soobin’s fists tensed up at his side as he debated on holding his tongue or giving his brother a piece of his mind. Today was his unlucky day.

“Y’know what, Sungmin? She was,” Soobin remarked, secretly loving the way his brother’s expression switched from arrogance to bewilderment, “And I’m sorry that you and Yoona didn’t work out, but I’d appreciate it if you quit looking at my girlfriend every chance you get.”

Sungmin looked confused, but his brother cut him off before he could speak again, “Yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice. You were never that great at being subtle. Like the comments about me you keep making? Trying to humiliate me in front of her? It didn’t work. So, you can drop it.“

“Soobin, I- I’m sorry if it seemed like I was trying to-“

“I don’t want to hear it, Sungmin. I brought _______ here to spend a nice holiday with our family. Not for you to take every chance you could to steal her from me.“

Sungmin was too stunned to speak. Soobin felt better thinking it was because his older brother was finally embarrassed by his actions. He busied himself fixing two glasses of water, and before he could walk out of the kitchen, his brother spoke again.

“Soobin, I really am sorry.”

The younger brother turned, nodding to his sibling nonchalantly, “Merry Christmas, Sungmin.”

The family of three were still sound asleep as he passed them on his way back upstairs. With careful steps, he carried himself to the bedroom, opening and closing the door softly. He smiled as he looked over at the bed to see your phone haphazardly leaning against the pillow beside you, your grip on it loosening. Your eyes slowly blinked with sleep tugging at them.

“You didn’t fall asleep without your kiss, did you?”

“Mm?” you hummed, opening your eyes and picking your phone up so it wouldn’t fall, “No.”

Your boyfriend laughed at your half-awake form, handing you the second glass of water from his side of the bed. You sat up a bit to take the cup and drink from it. Soobin slid in beside you on the bed, drinking from his own glass.

“You didn’t wake anybody, right?” you asked, placing your cup and phone on the nightstand.

Soobin paused, and before he could speak, you were already looking at him with a stern look, “I didn’t wake anyone . . . but I ran into Sungmin in the kitchen.”

“Okay?” you were wondering why he brought it up, until- “He didn’t hear us, did he? Oh my God, this is so embarrassing. Soobin, what if your parents heard?”

Soobin shook his head as he placed his cup down, “________, they didn’t hear us. The others were fast asleep in the living room. Sungmin only heard because he got up to use the bathroom.”

Your heart was pounding against your chest as you sighed, “What did he say? Actually, I probably don’t wanna know.”

Your boyfriend shrugged, “He made a comment about you sounding like you were having fun-“

Your cheeks bloomed with heat. This couldn’t get any worse—well, it could, but this was embarrassing enough as it is, “And?”

“-and I kind of snapped on him. I wasn’t going to, but I’m just so sick of him. I told him to quit looking at you and trying to humiliate me.”

Your eyes softened as you watched his nose crinkle with anger while he talked. It was rare to see Soobin annoyed much less angry, “What happened after that?”

“He tried to apologize, but I didn’t wanna hear it,” he shrugged, then chuckled, “I finished by telling him Merry Christmas.”

You poked his arm before wrapping your hands around it, “Well, I’m glad you finally got it off your chest, at least. I’m proud of you.”

Soobin half-smiled, leaning into your lips as they reached up and kissed his dimple. He turned to press your lips against his, his hand extending to stroke your cheek lovingly. You were practically melting into him.

You finally convinced him to lie down and shut off the lamps. He curled up to you, resting his head on your chest as his long legs intertwined with yours. He noticed your hand resting by your side with your bracelet on it, so he reached out and moved it to sit atop your tummy. He held your hand there, giggling as the charms clicked together magnetically and formed a full heart that mimicked his own. You smiled, feeling more loved in this moment than ever before. Just as your eyes were closing and a content sigh was leaving your lips, he asked:

“Did you have a good Christmas?”

“Absolutely. Did you?”

“Yeah, I did,” he hummed, “I love you, _______.”

“I love you more, Soobin.”

#soobin smut #txt smut #soobin fluff #txt fluff #choi soobin smut #txt soobin #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt hard hours #choi soobin #soobin x reader #txt x reader #soobin scenarios #soobin imagines #📎: first love

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rcksmith · 3 years

Text

Not you — Five Hargreeves

Requests: “Five Hargreeves x fem!reader, Fluff prompts 9, 52 and 53, please? (You can do this whenever you feel like it) Five and Y/n are both hit by one of Hazel and Cha-Cha’s bullets in the Gimbel Brothers store and they immediately go to the academy (Five wants Y/n treated as soon as possible.) after they’re fine, the siblings start to question them on Five’s protectiveness over Y/n”

“Hii could I request 4 & 23 off the fluff prompts for Five pls ty 😌✨”

Fluff prompts:

4. “Sweetheart, you’re my entire world”

9. “So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend?!" "No, that girl is my wife!”

23. “i’ve dreamt about this.”

52. "Help her first."

53. “There are no limits when it comes to you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope you guys like💖I decided to compile these two requests, since they were the same energy and they prompts connect to a central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. Good reading.

I used here some fragments of the central plot of Five, but, guys, keep in mind that he is 20 years old, and that when he comes back to 2019 Five does not make a mistake in the calculations. I changed the location of the fight too, but a really I hope you, Anon # 1, don't mind.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: blood, mention of death, swearing, fluff too.

— — — — —

You remembered perfectly when you met Five Hargreeves, the commission's golden ball, The Handler's award-winning shamrock. If you closed your eyes, even after years, you could still smell the male cologne wafting in the air, and you could relive the same feeling in the pit of your stomach that you had when he looked at you with those obsedian eyes.

Five Hargreeves was gorgeous. Absurdly gorgeous. But absurdly arrogant, boastful, presumptuous and completely absent of any delicacy in relation to empathy and kindness. He was the type who would open the door for you to enter first, but who would be the first to make fun of your erroneous reasoning.

And that was why, at the time, when you were assigned to be his partner, you lived in conflict with what you really felt. It was a mixture of tantrum and physical attraction.

But unlike all the people around Five, when he spit fire at you with all the anger at his difficult temper, you didn't run. In fact, when it exploded the first time in front of you, you crossed your arms, arched an eyebrow and looked at him with boredom.

“Have you finished your show yet?” You said, as if you didn't care, leaning against the hood of the car while Five screamed through the 7 winds “Stop to imply with everything.”

Five had been your partner for a few months now and it became clearer each day that the irritation was mutual. He made it perfectly clear that you pissed him off until his last hair.

But, unlike you, it was for another reason.

Shit, you were a fucking goddess! Your beauty was notorious, but that was not all that caught his attention. You were smart, canny, brave, Five never saw you in fear of any situation or shaken by any scene of blood. You knew your goals and went after them. It was strong, decisive, and, goddamn, he loved it. You had a fist, you were firm, and you always made it very clear that you were no helpless maiden.

It felt like you had gotten out of his imagination, from the daydreams in which Five rambled about what kind of woman he admired. And, hell, you came with the full package. It was a combination of overwhelming beauty, intelligence, dexterity, and he never thought that someone like that could be real.

But of course you were. And now Five was completely irritated because you were real, and not just another his dream and daydream in which a sublime woman starred.

“To Imply?” Five turned to you, eyes on fire “To Imply?!”

“Like a 2-year-old who didn't take his afternoon nap. It's not the end of time, it doesn't have to be childish.”

Now Five felt himself ignite. He was a dry, rough fire and you were gasoline, igniting everything saw ahead.

Was that damn woman calling he a child?! You?! Just you, the person whose Five wanted to tie the bed and do all kinds of sinful things.

Oh hell no!

Five came forward, furious, like an angry god, his coal eyes never leaving your direction.

“Childish, isn't it?” He snarled “I'm going to show you the childish!”

Five held your face tightly in his hands and pressed your lips to his. Fierce, needy, set on fire, lost in half sentences of feelings about you. He slid his hands to the back of your neck, closing his fingers in your hair and invading your mouth with his tongue, letting you taste the caffeine, danger and lust he had.

You sighed, or Five, or both. You held him as close as he was, with the two of you being on the same mission: to conquer, to take, to possess. But Five had an extraordinary intensity, a magnitude that managed to win you

Then your touch became more docile, your kiss became submissive and you were surrendered. When Five walked away, not with his body, he still held you against him, but with his head, enough to look you in the eye, you sighed.

“I’ve dreamt about this.” You gave up your game, because you couldn't pretend anymore, and Five responded by kissing you again, this time tasting your whole mouth.

After that day, Five and you never came apart. You two were like a dynamic duo, crime partners in the morning and intense lovers at night.

But Five spent so much time with affection, love and caring being denied that when, on a night when work got the best of him, Five fell into the bed you shared in a Motel room, very close to your lap and you smiled sweetly and ran your fingers through his black hair, establishing the affection there, Five was catatonic.

His wild mind wanted to take it away and go, tell you to swallow those loving gestures and that he would never need them. That they were a nuisance, a distraction.

But his body and heart... well, they begged Five to stay another second. Just one more second enjoying that touch, the care, the importance that someone felt for him. He liked to be pampered, who knew.

So he ended up falling asleep with your touch and, after that day, Five realized that if his body and heart couldn't get any further from you, then no one would ever take you away from him. You would stay with him, until the end. As long as you wanted to stay.

And you wanted to. You wanted all the stages, all the moments, all the fights. You wanted Five, completely. And after some time like that, he said that you two were going to get married. It wasn't a request, it wasn't a speculation, it was a fact and that's it. You laughed, it was Five's style to be embarrassed about something and treat it more coarsely, just because he didn't know how to deal with the emotions he felt.

“Of course I do.” You reassured him by bringing your hands to his face, tracing affectionate circles on his cheek with your thumb.

“You would have no other option.” He grunted, not looking at you, trying to divert attention from his own racing heart.

You laughed and sealed the future of the two of you with a kiss.

After five years of making it official, Five said he had found a way for him to get home. And as he spoke, you noticed a flickering hesitation in his eyes. You knew, at that moment, that Five would leave it behind if there was a chance that you wouldn't want to go along. He promised to love you, in joy and sadness, in difficult times and in good times, and he never broke a promise.

Five Hargreeves would stay for you. In 1963, in 1988, in 2019, it didn't matter the season, the year. It wouldn't be worth anything if didn't have you by his side.

But, like him, it was logical that you would never abandon him, ever. So you went along. It was together in the murder in 1963, it was together at the time of the target, and it was together when he jumped in the portal. You were with Five when he reunited with his family, they all amazement by the 13 year old little brother who disappeared to reappear as a man of 25. On top of that accompanied by a girl.

But Five still couldn't administer his emotions properly, he still couldn't say that he missed his brothers and that being without his family had been terrible. His past contained many shipwrecks and he did not know how to open up about it. After so many years alone and then killing without any judgment, it was difficult to connect with emotions.

So, instead of saying everything that screamed inside him, after just some time with the siblings he took your hand and pulled you out, telling the Hargreeves that he would go after a decent coffee.

“I wish I could have talked to them better.” You grumble whit Five and he rolled his eyes.

“As if they were going to understand the things you were going to explain.” He murmured, covering the whole issue of the Commission and time jumps.

“This is not difficult to explain.” You raised your left hand, signaling the silver circle that hugged your finger.

Five laughed, sipping his coffee.

“You will be my wife forever, there is plenty of time for you to tell that.”

But as soon as Five's words had just left your lips, blowing in the air like fog, the door to the store opened, and you two didn't have to turn around to find out who they were. Years on the commission have earned you enough training to even recognize the sound of their footsteps.

The exchange of looks that Five and you gave was enough to know what each one was thinking and how they would act. That was your secret language, the superpower that you two shared. No words were needed to understand each one like the back of your hand.

You took a deep breath, while your fingers on your right hand steadied yourself on the coffee cup and Five on the knife. There was no waiting for speeches, exchanging words, you both knew that the Commission would send the best agents besides you, and Hazel and Cha-Cha were not known to be late at work.

Then the action started, Five turned and teleported with the knife, shoving it into the leg of one of the agents covered in rabbit masks. You didn't stay behind and swivel your chair around, throwing the sizzling coffee into the second's hands, causing him to drop the gun on the floor. You didn't wait to kick him in the chest, making him stagger backwards as you got up from the chair. You and Five were good, but so was Hazel and Cha-Cha, and you couldn't count on the powers to dodge physical attacks.

Everything was very fast indeed, windows were broken, punches were exchanged, blood was plucked. But when you looked to the side and saw who was probably Cha-Cha pushing Five against a broken glass stake, you understood why love at work was so dangerous. You understand completely. Because you've lost your focus. It took a thousandth of an instant for years of training and improvement to be thrown out the window. Only the possibility of Five getting hurt got you off track, and that was fatale.

The agent who fought with you took advantage of your distraction, reaching for the gun that was on the floor in that split second. And a shot reverberated through the place.

Suddenly, the world for Five stopped the axis. Everything was suspended, appalled, frozen. And in that very second, his body shivered from head to toe, as if misfortune had sighed in his neck. Five Hargreeves never feared anyone, even death itself. But as soon as he heard the sound of the shot, Five tasted death. Was rough, metallic and cruel, the blood drained from the body and the world released a dark and funeral note, sinking into a black sea.

Because fear is not the bullet hitting you, but someone you love.

Five turned back, eyes wide, hands shaking, and he didn't know what was beating faster: his fear or his heart.

He would remember that moment as the most cruel and frightening of his entire life, years in the apocalypse and killing had no comparison to the terror that was seeing your white shirt start to be stained with blood, the bullet hole marking your abdomen. You looked up at him, shocked, livid, and Five could see death perfectly, pulling the vitality out of your eyes.

He didn't think, he didn't reason, he just teleported himself to you, taking your body in his arms and teleported you two away from there. Five’s hands were shaking, a visceral pain snaking through his body and suffocating him with the worst sensation Five had ever felt in his life.

He took you both to the Hargreeves mansion in the blink of an eye, his powers failing when the blue flash left you both in the giant living room.

“Five!”

Maybe it was Luther's voice, or Klaus, or Diego, he didn't know. Everything was a distant echo, a note submerged in the water. Five saw or heard nothing but your body in his arms, your eyes closed and face frighteningly pale, his right hand, which was pressing on your wound, was already soaked in blood.

It was too much blood, the smell was overwhelming, and for the first time in a long time, Five Hargreeves was in despair.

Hands touched his shoulders, and Grace's voice was heard in the background. But he didn't want treatments, whatever the goddamn his wounds were going to be.

“Help her first!” Five shouted, his voice finding strength in the terror he felt. And also in fury.

The Handler would pay for that, and so would Hazel and Cha-Cha. And, by God, the whole world would pay if you never opened your eyes again.

“Right now.” Maybe it was Pogo “But, Five, are you…”

“No!” He ordered “She first!”

Then Grace's hands took you out of his arms and Five refused to leave you for even a second. He was beside you at the operating table, holding your hand, with him bloody fingers of your blood and the agent he had fought.

But Five didn't care about the himself state, the people around it, or anything. His eyes were focused on you, his face frozen in a livid expression.

And when Grace said that you would need a blood transfusion and Five barely let her finish speaking before rolling up the manga and extending his arm, the siblings Hargreeves and Pogo were shocked. What they saw in Five's eyes was not a man afraid of losing someone, but of losing the person he loved.

I shouldn't have come back. Was Five's first thought when the surgery ended well and you were still asleep. It was his fault that you almost died. And everything was buzzing in Five's head like a propellant.

“So…”

Klaus appeared in the kitchen, with the siblings, while Five was washing the blood from his hands, now calmer since you were alive.

“That was heavy.” Luther let out a little gasp, a kind of choked laugh.

“Aren't you going to tell us what happened?” Allison sat at the table.

“She almost died because of my decision, that's what happened.” Five replied, turning and picking up a cloth from the table, drying his hands.

“Five...” Allison made his eyes go towards his sister “Who is she, actually ?”

Five gave a bitter laugh. Who were you? How would he explain it?

You are everything. The reason wake up everyday was good, what made the summer breeze and the sun's rays warm, the reason why his world was still spinning.

Who were you? It was absolutely everything for Five.

“Someone very important.” His whispered escaped.

“So you're saying that girl is your girlfriend ?!" Luther looked at Five in shock, as if the possibility of him having a girlfriend was absurd.

“No.” Five looked at Luther with fire in his eyes, his voice hoarse “That girl is my wife!”

The room's breath evaporated, everyone was dumbfounded and bewildered. But Grace came in at that moment, saving Five from continuing that conversation.

“She woke up.” His mother's voice was soft, and Five dropped everything he was doing and disappeared into the blue flash.

The first thing he noticed when he entered that room was you sitting on the bed, your back against the headboard.

“Hey...” the smile you gave made Five's world spin again.

He didn't wait a second before walking up to you in quick steps, holding your face in his hands and sealing your lips in a desperate kiss, as if that could prove that everything was fine.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispered against your lips, hands shaking, thumbs stroking yours cheeks.

“Bad vase doesn't break early.” You joked and Five laughed softly, his forehead touching your. “Were you hurt?”

He denied it, still with you, as if letting you was impossible. Maybe it was.

“I got distracted, I'm sorry that we let them escape and...”

Five interrupted your sentence

“Sweetheart…” You stopped, bewitched by his tone of voice “You’re my entire world.”

Five wasn't calling Hazel and Cha-Cha right now. He would kill that entire Commission later. Later. Now the only thing that mattered was you.

“I shouldn't have broken our contracts with the commission. I shouldn't have put you in this.” He said “But ... but I am very selfish, and even though I knew it would be better to let you go back to the Commission, I cannot live without you...”

“Hey, I not go come back.” You held his hands that were on your face, looking at him with love "My place is with you.”

“I promise you that I will never let anyone else hurt you. Even if I have to kill every single person on this planet. ” Five guaranteed “There are no limits when it comes to you. I'll do anything to keep you safe. ”

You smiled, put your lips together in a passionate kiss and whispered:

“I only need you, my love. Forever.”

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sweetcherrymoon22 · 2 years

Note

You should write more about y/n having anxiety and ticking and Harry comforting herrrr!!

You ask, and I have such a long answer!!!!!

Welcome to part one of a two-part fic all about anxiety and panic. I would like to make the disclaimer that this is purely based off of my own experience and in no way should reflect what other people do in those situations.

part two coming tomorrow!!

tw: anxiety, OCD, Panic, past relationship abuse (very briefly mention and very vague, no physical violence), medication

4.3k

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Part 1

We had only been in LA for a couple of days so far, the beginning of two weeks there for a few shows and a little bit of “time off” where the boys were having some meetings with the label and management while they were in the area. All of the boys have apartments in LA that they bought a while back when their management and label signed to be in LA, so, while we were here we all were back at our own apartments instead of in hotels by a venue. It was sort of nice to be at “home” for a little while, even if the apartment Harry and I were sharing in LA was not nearly as homely as the one in New York or our house in London. After two days of being in the house and going out or ordering in for all of our meals, I decided it was probably high time to get some actual groceries for the fridge so that we could cook something, or even just have a snack because there was not a single morsel of food in the apartment. I had gone out by myself to do the shopping, leaving Harry at home doing god knows what because we both did not feel like being mobbed getting groceries today.

While I was deliberating over the avocados I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I slid it out to check who had texted me. I had expected it to be Harry adding something to the list, or maybe one of the boys asking if they could come for dinner, but what I found was a name I hadn’t seen or thought of in about five years. I was lucky his number hadn’t been changed because it was still in my contacts from the last time I saw him. A picture of my Ex with his dog beside him made me freeze when I realized it was real. Five years of nothing, no phone calls, no visits, no texts, no emails, no cards. He sent me a single check for a thousand dollars after leaving me with only a note left behind: for that plane ticket you got.

Of course, I had gotten over him. I went to therapy and did the work I needed and then I found Harry and eventually I forgot all of the terrible things that I went through when I was with him. I took a deep breath and threw the two avocados that I had my hands on into a produce bag without thinking about it. I shut my phone off and turned off the ringer, deciding that now was not the time to force myself to look at whatever the hell excuse he had texted me. I moved through the store getting the rest of the items on my list, moving as fast as I could in anticipation of the text, and nervousness to get back to Harry so I could ask him what he thinks about the situation. After I checked out and brought all of the groceries to the back of Harry's black SUV I moved to the driver's seat and sat there for a moment with my hands on the wheel in silence until I brought out my phone. I opened the text without hesitation and saw the barely three-sentence message that I had been panicking about for the past forty-five minutes.

Heard from your mother that you were in town, sorry for not reaching out earlier. Would love to go out for lunch tomorrow if you have the time. I should explain.

No explanation, no apology, no personal message or nickname. From the absolute lack of care or emotion in it, I would not be surprised to find out that he had told an assistant to send me something while he was running out the door to some corporate meeting. Don’t know why I expected anything different from him. I opened a text to my mother who had apparently divulged my location to the man in the first place.

y/n: Care to explain why y/e/n knows I’m in LA?

Mom: Whoops, forgot to text you about that, he heard the band was performing and wasn’t sure it was you, I merely confirmed what he already suspected.

I sighed and placed my phone on the seat beside me. No use in being mad at anyone for this, it was bound to happen eventually anyway, besides I might as well get it over with. Most likely what will happen is I’ll go to the lunch and if he decides to grace me with his presence at all, he’ll get a salad, ask polite questions, make a few misogynist jokes, pay the bill and I won’t speak to him again for another five years.

y/n: tomorrow sounds fine, I know a lunch place in midtown, I can text you the address. If you give me a time I can make the reservation.

Ex: glad you got back to me, one would be perfect for me

This time when I started the car I didn't even bother to play any music for the drive. Not like I would be able to enjoy it or sing along with all the questions now swimming in my head. Even with LA traffic the drive back to Harry and I’s apartment didn’t take much time, I had worried before that anything frozen I got would melt from the mixture of the hot LA sun and the horrible traffic that never seems to let up. When I parked the car in the garage and went to inspect the Ben and Jerrys from a bag in the trunk I was pleased to find that it was still solid in all of its glory. Usually, I would have gone in and requested Harry's help bringing things in from the car, but there were only a few bags, none of which were all that heavy. With two bags on each arm and one in my hand, I managed to walk in the door and set all of the bags on the kitchen table without too much trouble. Upon hearing the sound of the door closing behind me and the rustling of the grocery bags on the counter Harry called out my name from the couch.

“Hey baby, how was shopping” He was writing an email with his computer on his lap but reached out behind the couch to grab mine. I gave it to him and ran my hand through his hair for a second before walking back to the counter to unload all of the groceries.

“oh, it was fine. y/e/n texted me while I was there, he wanted to meet me for lunch tomorrow.” I dropped the information causally while opening and closing the cupboards in the kitchen. I must have done it well, too, because it took Harry almost a full minute to practically slam the lid of his computer down and turn 180 on the couch so that he was facing me.

“he did what?” I shrugged, avoiding eye contact and placing the bananas in a bowl on the edge of the counter.

“asked me to go for lunch with him tomorrow. Said he wanted to ‘explain’”

“and what did you say?”

“I told him yes.” He was quiet for a moment before he placed his computer on the couch cushion next to him and rose from the dark grey square he was sitting on, sauntering over to me and standing directly behind me, trapping me against the counter. What I expected to be a look of jealousy or anger was nothing but a calm and worried stare. Once my belly was pressed into the white granite of the kitchen island he came even closer and wrapped his arms around my middle, arching his back slightly to place his head on my shoulder right at the crook of my neck. I took both of my hands and placed them over his crossed arms around my stomach, not trying to pry him off, but just resting them there for some show of what he was doing. He kissed my neck once tenderly before moving his head up to be resting on top of my own.

“are you sure that’s a good idea?” I knew what he was talking about but a part of me felt like playing the long game.

“what do you mean?” He was patient and still while he responded, not a hint of annoyance at my unwillingness to get to the point of the matter.

“going to lunch with him, are you sure that’s a good idea, especially after what happened the last few times you saw him.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” He groaned by my head and flipped me around so that his arms were still around me, but now my back was pressed against the island and my hands were resting on his forearms.

“y/n/n… at least let me come with you.” I shook my head adamantly and tightened my grip on his arms.

“no. no, this is something I need to do by myself. I need to show him that I’m not some weak little girl he can push around anymore.” Harry brushed a stray bit of hair from my face and tilted his head down so that he could look me in the eye.

“baby, you don’t need to prove anything to him. If anything he is the one that should be proving something to you. He practically pushed you into a nervous breakdown love, just after-“

“I don’t want to talk about that.” I wrenched myself out of his arms when I started to feel myself getting shaky and nervous at the mere mention of what had happened the last time I was near that man. Normally I can talk about anything with Harry. He makes me feel safe and loved, and he has never once pushed me past what he knows I feel uncomfortable with. He waits and pays attention until he knows that I can talk about something without it being scary or nerve-wracking. But this was the one thing. This was just something I didn’t talk about, hell I tried not to even think about it after it was finished. I stormed off into our bedroom knowing that he wasn’t far behind. The second I got there I couldn’t help but think about the event Harry had unknowingly brought up. I had told him once in passing what had happened that day, but I never really explained how much of an impact it had on me. I crumbled on the floor just in front of the bed and slid until my head was in my hands which were resting on my bent knees pointing towards the sky. Tears started to fall down my face and dribble all the way to my crooked elbows. I could faintly hear the distant sound of Harry's footfalls coming up the stairs and down the hallway to our room, but I was too lost to the world now to think about what that meant or do anything to change how I looked or felt. Our oak door creaked as he pushed it open, I hadn’t even latched the door closed when I came in so quickly and fell to the floor. He took one hesitant step into the room and then stopped.

“I’m sorry” he whispered, sounding guilty, it wasn’t really his fault, I think he just wasn’t sure what happened. In Harry's mind, any time anyone cries near him or in front of him, it’s worth an apology. Maybe not one on his behalf, but on behalf of whoever hurt them.

“it wasn’t you.” I sniffled out and kept my head in my hands, nervously running my hands through my hair in an effort to keep my frantic fidgeting at bay. He took a few more steps into the room and then slid down onto the floor next to me, careful not to touch me just in case it would make things worse.

“Do you need me to do something?” I shook my head and tried to focus on the movements I could do, tapping my leg, cracking my knuckles, running my hand through my hair. Any little movement that I could do without actually standing up to move and alarming Harry was what I was doing.

“Can I give you a hug?” I shook my head again. I tried not to feel bad about it, I’m sure he knew and understood why I couldn’t have a hug right now, but still, I felt a little bad for rejecting something I normally craved so much. When I’m panicking within myself so much like this, trapped within a flood of thoughts and emotions in my own mind, the feeling and even the thought of being physically trapped in someone's arms is nauseating.

“Do you want to try taking a walk?” He had started to notice how I was not just shaking with nerves but shaking with a need, an intent.

“no. Maybe. I don’t know” There were so many things happening in my brain all at once that I couldn’t figure out what to address first. All of the questions he proposed just added to the clutter and confusion even though he meant to help. He stopped asking me questions and just sat next to me for a minute. At first, I appreciated the silence he was giving me. It made my brain feel a little less cluttered like I had more room to figure out what thought to focus on first. That didn’t last long though. After a few minutes of scouring my thoughts to find something to start with, my own brain became a battle zone of crossing wires and half-finished arguments with myself that will never even come to fruition. My breathing picked up, as did my fidgeting. I was practically vibrating from all of my little movements and hyperventilation. I could feel the veins in my neck start to stand out from the strain of breathing, my head was pounding and the only sound I could hear was the rushing of blood in my ears.

“y/n/n?” He turned to face me dead on when he saw my chest rising and falling faster than I could control. I was so deep in my own mind and lost in the sound of the blood rushing to my head that I didn’t hear or respond to him. He moved, still being careful not to touch me, so that he was facing me, kneeling on the carpet half a foot in front of me. He could see my skin begin to get paler and paler with the lack of oxygen staying in my body.

“y/n you need to breathe” it went on like that for a minute. He pleaded with me to calm down, tried to count with me, name the things around us, played music, sang to me, anything he could think of to get me to even out my breaths in the hope that eventually I would calm myself down and tire myself out enough to fall asleep. But none of it worked. Half of the things he said didn’t even reach me because of how loud it was inside of my own brain, the other half just were slightly depressing attempts at distracting me for long enough to figure something else out. Finally, he gave up the natural tries.

“I really don’t want you to pass out so I’m going to go get the meds baby.” I couldn’t speak enough to protest so I figured he must be right. I hated being medicated, but I think I would hate passing out in front of him even more, so the lesser of two evils I suppose. He got up and walked calmly to the door, but the second he was out into the hall I could hear his footsteps become more frantic. Less than two minutes later I heard his feet on the floor again as he rushed back into the room. Again I heard his feet slow the second he got into the room, not wanting to scare me any more than I already was. He kneeled a little closer to me this time, holding a small pill and a glass of water in his large hands.

“Do you need help taking it?” I shook my head and held out a hand. He dropped the small white pill into my palm first, waiting for me to toss it into the back of my mouth before handing me the glass of cold water that I took a swig from. Once the pill was down and the glass of water had been drained I timidly held out a shaky hand while I waited for the medicine to take effect. Harry looked down at my shaking hand for a moment before taking it in his own and kissing it. He didn’t say anything, but continued to hold my hand in his much larger one until about ten minutes went by and I gave his hand three strong squeezes.

“you good? Is it working?” I nodded

“yeah. Yeah, it's definitely moving along” He let go of my hand in order to stand, and then once he was standing he handed me a pair of shorts and his t-shirt from his side of the bed. My hands were still a little shaky and the drug had almost taken full effect so he helped me slide my jeans and sweater off and then slide his giant shirt over my head and shoulders. Once I was dressed he held out both of his hands for me to take.

“mmm, nope, think you’ll need to carry me.” I mumbled sleepily and looked up at him with a sheepish smile.

“really? Worked that quick? All right then.” He crouched down to take me into his arms and did so with little effort. I slung my hands around the back of his neck and tried not to go completely limp in his arms. That was the thing I hated about the medication so much. Although it certainly calms me down enough to make the panic attack stop, it also means that it shuts down my body and brain in the process. He carefully lowered me onto the bed and helped me slide myself under our blankets. He took my glasses off of my head and folded them, placing them on the bedside table to my right. As he was about to walk away I grabbed his hand.

“don’t go. Please.” He smiled down at me and gave my hand a few squeezes.

“not going anywhere baby, I promise.” I reluctantly let go of his hand and he stripped himself of his remaining clothes before climbing into the bed beside me in only his boxers. Once we were side by side in the bed he pulled me into him so that I was nuzzled into his chest with his arms wrapped all the way around me.

“he really fucked me up, huh.” He gave an airy laugh into my head that was sadder than anything else.

“eh, maybe a little. Are you going to tell me why?” I waited a minute and listened to his heartbeat under my head, considering my options before spilling all my tales of woe. I could just stay silent, close my eyes and pretend that I had fallen asleep. Or I could change the subject ask him what he did today, but I doubt he would fall for that one. Or I suppose I could just tell him the truth. Maybe that was just the medication talking but for some reason that seemed like the decision I was leaning towards.

“Soph?”

“hmm?” I hummed into his chest, still considering my options carefully.

“are you going to tell me what happened with him?” I sighed. The third option it is.

“yeah, yeah, just don’t know where to start really. I guess it started when we first got together, I just never noticed how sad I was until he left. I guess a part of me always knew that what he was doing wasn't right, I just couldn't do anything about it. Until I started talking with y/bff/n again and realized how much of an idiot I had been to let him convince me that everything he did was my fault. I held some weird reverence for him even when he let me down time after time.” Harry started to run a hand through my hair. I felt weirdly distant from the story that at any other moment would have sent me spiraling into a panic attack, the joys of antidepressants I suppose.

“once I realized how fucked up it all was I tried to confront him about it. Not just him and how horrible he was, how much pain he caused me, but just how this one person managed to create some irreparable rift inside myself to the point where I was practically doing his work for him. When I decided to leave him I hadn't told anyone.Not that I didn't want to, just that I felt it had to be my decision, I had to be the one to leave, to take something from him for once. The first thing he did was refuse to leave. He said that I was being too tough and that he would never do things like that. I tried to explain how I had been feeling, I thought that maybe the part of him I had fallen in love with so long ago would understand. And then suddenly I couldn't breathe. Not because he had touched me but because he had gotten so, so close to it. I don't know what stopped him that night but I didn't care. Eventually he put his hand back down to his side. He slept on the couch but I was so shocked I didn't even think to call the police, or my mom, or anyone, I just went to bed. The next morning was strangely calm, I spent as little time with him as I possibly could, and then just before he left he started talking some shit in the kitchen within earshot of me and I sort of lost it.” He stayed quiet through my story, every once in a while moving his large hands to rub some other part of me, but just staying calm and still like he was afraid any movement would scare me off.

“I don’t remember everything that was said, but I do remember that I was crying, my hands were shaking, he was laughing at me, I called him an asshole to his face about three times, by the end of it I was shaking with what I thought at first was rage. But it wasn’t.” He spoke for the first time,

“it was a panic attack.” I nodded into his warm chest and took a deep breath to remind myself that I could.

“yeah. It wasn’t my first ever, but I hadn’t really thought it was in issue yet. So basically he ended up causing me to go into a manic state that I had no one to help me with and then he left. We didn’t talk again except for that note he left in the kitchen. Not until a few months later. He showed up at my college graduation which I was terrified of as it was, and effectively told me that it was my fault he left. I blamed myself for all of that anyway so him telling me that in my mind just solidified it.”

“you know that wasn’t-“

“I know, I know, but I was young and terrified and upset. I was dealing with OCD and Anxiety, and ADHD all on my own without anyone to help me, I was newly on my own, I didn’t have a boyfriend, I had maybe one or two close friends, I was barely speaking to my family, so I believed him because I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Then why would you go tomorrow? Why would you put yourself through that pain? When he has already hurt you just from the memory?” He was trying very hard not to sound upset, I could tell, but his words showed it anyways. I took a hand and stroked his arm while I explained to him.

“ I need to prove to myself that I’m not that person anymore. I need to show him that he’s in the wrong, or maybe make some peace with what happened.�� He was quiet for another moment until he took my hand in his.

“Then at least let me come with you.”

“No. This is something I have to do by myself. I love you and I am so happy that I have someone like you to support me like this, but I need to learn how to be strong for myself sometimes. Besides, I made the lunch close enough to soundcheck that if anything happens I can just make the excuse that I need to get to work and I can leave and go straight to you.”

“I'm just worried.”

“I know. So am I. But I promise I will keep my phone on and I will text you every chance I get and then when I leave I will go straight to sound check so I can see you and the boys. I’ll be okay.”

“you promise?”

“promise” We were both silent for a few more minutes until my breathing evened out and slowed, my eyes closing from the toll of a panic attack and heavy medication. As I started to fall asleep with his heartbeat in my ears and my arms wrapped around him I heard his sleepy voice murmur in my ear.

“I love you.”

#harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles one direction #harry styles #one direction #oneshot #harry styles imagines #onedirectiontour #relationship

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ackermanslov4r · 2 years

Text

a fic where fem!y/n and levi have to pretend they're dating during some infiltration mission for the scouts (but then they have to talk about their first impression on each other and levi gets a bit too talkative)

wrote this at midnight (and a while ago) so sorry for the potential mistakes

Since you’d joined the scouts, you’d been asked many different things : fighting titans,of course,but also helping Hange with their strange experiments,cleaning a room that wasn’t used at all,and sometimes cleaning,but weapons.

But right now,standing in a fancy outfit,Levi’s hand on your back, you thought that your current situation beat all the others.The scouts needed informations held by some rich man ,and Erwin had declared that the man wasn’t going to give the informations without money in return,which the scouts didn’t have enough of.

So,a plan, that seemed too crazy to succeed, had been made : Levi and you had to pretend to be a newly rich and married couple,and attend one of the man’s party , to gather a maximum of information by listening to the conversations and talking with the host.

The strangest part was probably having to pretend to be dating Levi Ackerman. When you’d asked Erwin why he’d decided to choose the two of you,he just said that it was because the two of you « had the most chemistry »,this causing you to stay awake the whole night,wondering about this sentence. Levi and you were comrades,even friends,and even if you couldn’t deny that you both cared about the other,it didn’t go any further.

« The two of you really makes a perfect couple. » said an old men,his appearance so ridiculous Levi had to tighten his grip on your back to stop you from laughing,while he thanked him.

« So…for how long have you been dating ? »

« Oh…Uh…Well,we’re going to celebrate our five years together in a week. »

The old men whistled,showing his admiration. Levi and you had been practicing your fake dating story for weeks,but it still always felt strange to you to tell a story so far from the truth.

“I immediately knew she’d be important to me when I met her.” added Levi,his mouth turning into a smile.

You’d seen him smile ,with a true and happy smile ,a few times,and you were always amazed by it ,by how it changed his face. But the smile he had right now was fake,completely different from his usual one,and you immediately wanted to wipe it off his face.

"People always say to not follow first impression since they can be false but... I guess sometimes it's best to follow your instinct."

"Well...I'm glad I did since now we're...married."

Levi's smile turned into a strange grimace on the last word. You suddenly realized how bad actors the two of you made,and almost laughed at the disaster this mission was going to be.

"And what a beautiful couple you make ! Tell me,sir, when you said you knew she'd be important...Did you know she'll get this far into your heart ?" he asked,laughing and talking as if you weren't there.It was an habitude you'd noticed during the night ; here,you were someone's wife,almost not a person of your own,and everyone preferred to talk with your so called husband than you.

Your gaze turned to a clock,mentally counting the hours left when Levi answered,his tone unusually serious :

"I don't know if I knew our relationship will end like that but I remember thinking..." he stopped,lost in his thoughts. "I remember thinking the way I felt just by looking at her was very different from anything else I'd experienced. And it got worse when we began talking ; I could barely make a sentence around her. It was as if my brain was about to explode."

He suddenly stopped,frowned his eyebrows ,opened and closed his mouth,as if he was shocked by the things he'd just said. Something with the way he'd just reacted,and by the sincerity of his voice when he'd spoke suddenly made you feel dizzy,and you wondered if it was really what Levi thought when he met you.

"Well,well...I think your husband is truly in love with you." And,laughing again,he nodded and went away to talk with some other invitees ,leaving the two of you alone in an embarrassed silence.

"You know...I almost believed what you just said."

Levi,his cheeks red from embarrassment ,was obsessively looking at the floor,as if he hoped it could open beneath him.

"It'd be nice to have someone think like that of you."

He finally turned his eyes to you,and that almost made you breathless . You'd never seen such emotion in Levi's eyes,and for a few seconds,it was as if he was speaking through them. He looked desperate to make you understand something,and at the same time desperate to make sure you didn't understand. There was sadness in them,longing,and many other things. But,as quickly as it appeared,the look in his eyes disappeared.

"Come.We still have work to do."

And,while he gently posed your hand on his arm,you both went back to playing Mr and Mrs Ackerman ,not noticing how the affection,the sweets words you shared as part of your act came naturally to each of you.

#attack on titan #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman #aot hcs #levi headcanons #captain levi #anime #levi aot #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman oneshot #levi imagine #levi ackerman x reader hc #levi hc #levixreader

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

Seven Drinks

Bucky x f!reader

Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.

Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)

Word Count: 4322

a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!

Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.

Masterlist

"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"

"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.

"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.

Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.

You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."

Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.

"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.

"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"

"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.

"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.

"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.

"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.

As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.

"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."

"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.

"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.

"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.

Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.

You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.

"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.

"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.

"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.

"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.

You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"

The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.

"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.

"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."

He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.

"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.

About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.

"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.

"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.

"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.

"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.

Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.

"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.

Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."

"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.

You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.

Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.

You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.

"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"

Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.

He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.

"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.

You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.

"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.

"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.

"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.

"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.

Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.

"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"

"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.

"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.

"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.

Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.

He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.

You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.

"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."

"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.

"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.

With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.

My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.

I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.

I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."

Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.

"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.

I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.

I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.

I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."

The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.

"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.

My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.

I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.

I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.

I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.

God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."

Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.

"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."

Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.

"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."

Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"

"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.

Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."

"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."

"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.

You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.

"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.

You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"

Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.

"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."

"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.

"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."

Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.

"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.

"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.

"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.

"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.

"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.

The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.

You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.

The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.

You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.

"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.

You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.

As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.

"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.

"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.

"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.

"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."

"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.

"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.

"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.

"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.

"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.

"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #tw: suicide #tw: depression #tw: panic attack

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pepsicup · 3 years

Text

The Boob Thing

Bucky Barnes x Reader 1.5k words

Summary: There are things we do that they will never understand, especially a man like him. (semi smut, breast play, slight body worship, we love tiddies here)

Author note: this concept is from my vault that I wrote with a friend for a different fandom, I decided to repurpose it since it got archived. Not my best work since I'm trying to get back in the groove after writing Problems Of A Spaceman but whatever, enjoy! (I have the attention span of a cube of sugar so there are probably mistakes, I re-read my work all the time so it will be fixed)

Bucky cleared his throat to break the comfortable silence he came home to, attempting to gain her attention as subtly as he could. She was curled up on their bed with a small book, almost in the exact place where he left her, but...not completely the same way as before.

It was one of those quiet days where they could do absolutely nothing if they so wanted, but he did slip out to take care of a few things so he could spend the rest of it with her undividedly. She was so engrossed in reading that she hadn’t even notice he left and came back all in the same hour. Though he wasn't gone long, he found her in an even more natural lounging position that caught him off guard at the very sight.

"Doll?" his words were stunted by something hidden in his voice.

She hummed back in response, not registering his presence until the next thing he ask tore her focus away completely.

“Are you...feeling yourself up?” she peeked around her book at him standing in the doorway.

Bucky had an amused expression from the moment he walked in and while he’d been watching her for the last couple of minutes before speaking up. He's not ashamed to admit that he waited to announce his presence to see if it was going to end up becoming another thing he liked to watch, but it sadly wasn't. She was...well he had no clue what she was doing.

All that matters is it was something that was happening without him.

She wore a loose-fitting shirt, but had one of her hands slipped inside and resting laxly on her right breast. As Bucky stood there unnoticed, she unconsciously squeezed every few moments like it was no big deal. To him, it wasn't normal unless he was involved or if she had her other hand in her panties, luring him over with those pretty eyes.

It seemed like she was doing it just to do it.

She put her book down, marked the page so she could get back to it later and shifted so she was laying against the many pillows littering the bed. Her other hand came to sit on her abdomen as the other remained in its place.

“Just pla—” her fingertips dipped under the bunched-up hemline of the shirt, leaving her underwear on full display.

“You playin' with yourself without me, sweetheart?” Bucky walked over to the end of the bed and crawled up to her.

Once he was hovering over her, he didn't make any moves to touch and watched with an adorable curiosity, though adorable might not be the right word to use while he raked over her skin.

“No!” she giggled, trying to explain herself to a man from a different time, "it's just...entertaining?"

“Entertaining...?” he licked his lips, trying his best to pay attention. She ran her foot up the side of his thick thigh and hooked it on his hip lazily. This type of intimacy was normal for them, but there was that one thing that wasn’t.

Bucky rested his forehead on hers as they exchanged glances from her chest, where he could just see the outline of her hand, and back up.

"Yeah, they are nice to play with," she said innocently.

She placed her free hand on his beside them that pressed into the mattress. He pulled their interlocking hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles to hide a smirk at the words, keeping his lips against the soft skin.

“I know...” he wiggled his eyebrows.

She couldn’t help but laugh this time, "Not like that you dummy,"

Bucky snickered against the back of her hand as she continued to ramble on, “It's just something I do when I'm comfortable or relaxed...most of the time I don't even notice I'm doing it"

There wasn't a clear reason why she did it, sometimes it was sexual but it was also comforting to have something to hold or be held – it could even be the result of boredom. The mounds of flesh are coincidentally very squishy and anyone who owns a pair knew what she was talking about. Bucky did have quite the chest himself, but it wasn't as authentic as the real deal enough to understand.

“I still don’t get it” he said sheepishly, a humorous edge in his voice.

“Tell me what you don’t get, baby” She sighed, shaking her head at his ability to listen with any other organ except for his ears.

While he is distracted with the question, she pulled her hand out and unravelled theirs swiftly. He was pondered as she maneuvered her next movements carefully and made her move before he could even comprehend what was on his own mind. She positioned her hands to rest on top of his and slid them up her shirt to the untouched side of her chest. Her hand stayed firm on his as her bust filled his palm, he gaped down at her like it was the first time she’d ever done something like that.

"You're just asking for it, aren't ya?" he mused, the smirk kicking up the side of his mouth.

Bucky leaned in far enough that she witnessed his eye shift at the close proximity. She could tell he wanted to kiss her so badly, but his demeanour made it feel like he wanted to do a lot more. It still wasn't the priority, she was only trying to make him understand. She ignored the charming attempts to sway her and focused on urging his lower body with her leg to lay down beside her.

“What are ya tryin' to do now?” he planted himself like a tree so she couldn't move him.

“Shhh, let me show you what I mean... and behave yourself for once" she cocked her head pointedly.

He narrowed his eyes at her, all in good fun.

"Please...?" she added softly.

He grunted, “Alright”

Bucky plopped down in the crevice of her arm, halfway on top of her and remaining tangled between her legs where you could most often find him in one manner or another. He shifted until he found the right spot to lay his head and tuck his face into her neck without causing her discomfort, then slumping down on her anyway.

"How come've never seen ya do it before?" his warm hometown drawl melted into his muffled voice. That was the tell-tale signal that he was getting riled up and it went right over her head every single time. Not everyone is a hyper-observant supersoldier with a sensory reception level equivalent to a herd of African elephants during mating season. Once the accent comes out, it's game over.

"Because you usually have your hands up my shirt anyway, now shush"

He was already grinning like an idiot even before she encouraged him to squeeze the first time, and it only got wider from there. As she attempted to demonstrate what she meant, she closed her eyes to clear her mind so it would happen sincerely and without his influence. They laid there together, hands hidden by the fabric of an old shirt he let her pick from his closet, mimicking each other's movements until they inevitably synced up.

It wasn't even five minutes before he got impatient and started to place kisses where ever he could reach a few at a time, even getting to softly suck despite her warning. She had stopped guiding his hand after a while, letting him do it on his own and enjoying it in the process, it was so relaxing that she almost dozed off at one point.

He, on the other hand, was thinking the exact opposite because after he realized he had all the control, things went downhill fast for her. It could have been the crossed wires in his head or the miscommunication, he concluded that she was teasing him regardless of which it was.

"Do you get it n—"

Bucky popped his head up out of nowhere and surprised her with a kiss, laughing against her lips as she jolted at the sudden contact. He took the chance to move back over her and in between those legs where he belongs.

He pulled back once she ran out of breath and held her still, “I'm sorry, doll...it's jus' turnin' me on”

"Bucky…" she giggled

"You feel that...?" he ignored her as she ignored him, grinding his half-hard bulge against her inner thigh instead of listening. He showered her face with his lips while she squirmed under the covered thrusts, “I know ya like it, look…you love it”

“Bucky!” she broke into an even bigger fit.

He bit his beautifully full bottom lip as he looked from her face to her chest devilishly. He acted on the impure intent running rampant through his body before his cock could betray those thoughts with every pulse.

"I can’t help but get hard when you touch yourself like that…” he ran his hands up her torso. He pulled the shirt over the spot of his heated fixation and wetted his lips with hers again, “...I can make it even better”

He rushed out his whisper, “…we do it anyway, but it’s so fuckin' hot when you do it alone and try t’hide it from me...”

Bucky lowered his face to her chest and nuzzled thoroughly between the two mounds he pushed together. As he took in the scent of her skin, he fumbled his hand to squeeze one of them as he attacked the other with his enthusiastic mouth. Her top half was soaked from the progression of his sucking, licking and groping, but the feeling of it finished the job elsewhere.

“Bucky…” she whined.

That seemingly innocent, on her part, situation turned filthy in a matter of minutes. He hummed around her nipple at her changed tone and back to her lips to feel the noise against his.

"... you’re not gettin' out of it that easy" his muttering sentence escaped through the gaps in his kisses.

When he leaned up to take off his shirt, he gazed down at her flushed face beaming a smile. Her body was still begging for attention even when she tried to get away, but she didn't stand a chance. As usual, his influence diminished her willpower and he was able to claim another part of her entirely.

"Shhh..." Bucky lightheartedly moved his knees to either side of her to keep her pinned down, "...let me show ya how it's done, doll"

Even if he didn't fully understand what that thing was or what it meant, he sure knew how to use them.

#mcu #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader smut #sebastian stan #sargent daddy #sac writes

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samstree · 3 years

Note

36 for kiss prompts and/or 23 from touch prompts?? i'm so happy for your dynamic return!! 😌

Lean on Me

36. “kissing away tears” + 23. “carrying the other one in their arms” from the touch asks. Thanks for the prompt, my dear! <3

In which Jaskier is a stubborn idiot. Geralt is there for him.

(1.4k, aftermath of torture, mentions of blood and injury, panic attacks, vomiting, read on AO3)

---

“Oh, finally!” Jaskier lets out a sigh, his ribs aching at the exhale. “My dear, you don’t know how I’ve longed to see your beautiful face! These two gentlemen—on top of being the rudest persons in the entirety of the Nilfgaardian empire—have the most hideous complexions I’ve seen! Seriously, does being a royal torturer suck away your soul along with your good looks?”

“Shut up, Jaskier.”

Geralt fumbles with the shackles around Jaskier’s wrists, refusing to look up. The motion pulls at the flayed skin a little. Jaskier gasps when one of the restraints falls to the floor. He uses the air to resume his rambling.

“Dull as fuck, they are. It’s always ‘tell me where they are, or we’ll beat you to death’ as if I didn’t infer from their mean faces on the first day. Urgh! So unimaginative! You’d think an army that swept through the continent could hire someone more competent. Professionals, maybe—”

The other wrist comes out and Jaskier abruptly tips forward, his knees giving way. Luckily, strong arms catch him around the waist without a moment of doubt, and Jaskier finds himself face to face with the prettiest amber eyes in the world.

“Hey,” Jaskier says, realizing that he’s bitten his lower lip in a panic. The old wound reopens and he tastes blood. “Did I ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are?”

A gentle hand comes up to push back the hair in Jaskier’s eyes, revealing his forehead and, undoubtfully, the gash there and all the dried blood. He feels exposed like this.

“Jaskier,” Geralt breathes, the whisper too careful for Jaskier to handle after all these days. “You are in shock.”

“What? No, I’m not!”

Jaskier frowns, and struggles on his feet to prove the point. If only his legs would cooperate and stop feeling like jelly. Geralt trails his fingers down to cup Jaskier’s jaw, a thumb hovering over what must be a patch of bruises by his lips. He presses down with the barest touch and Jaskier hisses, which tugs at his ribs again.

Geralt’s brows are knitted together with worry. “I need to get you out of here fast.”

“There’s no need to look so constipated, Geralt dear. I told you I’m fine. This—” he gestures to the tiny torture chamber. “—is nothing!”

With that, Jaskier takes a step towards the door—well, what’s left of it after Geralt smashed through the poor thing. Each step feels like he’s walking on a cloud. His arm rests on Geralt’s shoulder but refuses to lean into his witcher’s solid strength. Geralt doesn’t seem convinced, with a hand still at Jaskier’s waist, just shy of touching his throbbing side.

“Let me tell you, they couldn’t even follow through on most promises. Apparently, the emperor himself gave orders to keep me alive. I’m a valuable asset! So, you see, all the talks of opening me up with those colorful gadgets were nothing but empty threats. I could laugh at those idiots!”

As they stumble out of the room, Jaskier can’t help but get another glimpse of the table full of devices—pliers, knives, a chainsaw, and something that looks like a stack of thick needles, except every five of them are attached to make the perfect shape to go into someone’s fingers.

A shudder runs down his back—not from fear, of course. It’s a draft in the hallway.

“Hmm. And they are the idiots.”

“For messing with me and not finishing the job—Oh, there they are.” Two mangled bodies are barely visible in the dark corner, with blood seeping into the floor. “Did you give them hell? I bet you did. The White Wolf’s wrath is no joke, not when his bard is taken. Not that it was too much of a bother for me, mind you. I’m fine.”

The urge to repeat the word is overwhelming despite the crack in his voice. Jaskier licks at the cut on his lip just like he’s done in the past few days. It was the only soothing motion he could manage while being bound in metal. The warmth of Geralt’s body is miles better, so much so that a disorienting fog is forming before Jaskier’s eyes, darkening the edges of his vision.

“Sure you are. Just…hang on, just a little longer,” Geralt pleads, a bit desperately. For what, Jaskier isn’t sure.

Geralt takes Jaskier’s elbow with his other hand, guiding him forward toward the exit. He’s acting like that again, like he’s around a spooked horse or scared children. Jaskier turns in confusion and rests his temple against Geralt’s cheek, but he’s rudely dislodged quickly.

“Portal,” Geralt warns.

Before Jaskier has time to react, cold wind is cutting into his cheeks and his bare feet sink into thick snow. Kaer Morhen stands tall as always, and Jaskier wants to sag with relief—

Before a spell of nausea hits him in full force, turning his insides into a swirling mess. Jaskier can barely push Geralt away before crumbling onto the icy ground and heaves out whatever little content in his stomach. There’s not much. It’s not like a prisoner’s diet is on top of Nilfgaard’s priorities.

“Portals… Can’t complain when we are in a hurry, right?”

Jaskier chokes out a laugh while trying to wipe away the bile at his lips. The coldness is creeping up on him, making him tremble like a leaf. He hugs the hollow of his stomach, but the involuntary spasms jostle his sensitive ribs again, drawing out a whimper. Everything hurts. His mouth is filled with cotton, his head pounding like fireworks exploding inside his skull.

The next attempt to stand fails, and he ends up in a heap of misery with nothing but the raggedy shirt on his back. Jaskier takes in gulps of air but can’t find any release. His lungs are burning with the aftershock of panic.

It’s like a dam breaking. The reality sinks in, of what could have happened. Of what did happen.

Jaskier knows he’s crying. Tears are rolling down his cheeks with abandon and freezing in the cold air. He can’t hide them, not when he doesn’t even have the strength to lift a hand.

A coat wraps around his shoulders, and Jaskier shudders into the contact. Geralt lowers into his vision, his head tilted so their gazes can meet. Amber eyes are flowing with patience, so much patience.

“All right,” Jaskier finally croaks, “perhaps…there’s a chance that I’m, um, I’m not quite fine.”

Geralt’s palm finds Jaskier’s cheek again, careful not to aggravate the bruises and the broken skin. Their foreheads rest together, and the only thing left in the snowy world is the sound of Geralt’s breathing. The grip on Jaskier’s airway loosens, allowing him to match the achingly unhurried rise and fall of Geralt’s chest. The familiar scent of leather and sweat is in the background, the best soothing balm for his frayed nerves, always.

Slowly, the storm calms.

“That’s it. Breathe with me, just like this. You are safe. I have you now. I have you.” Geralt murmurs into his ear, repeating the last sentence like a mantra. “I have you, Jask…”

There are more tears, but soft lips catch them in a lover’s caress. Jaskier lets himself melt into his witcher’s presence, lets his tears be kissed away.

“What should—” His teeth chatters. The snow is numbing his toes, the tingling bordering on pain. “What should I do?”

The world spins again, but this time upward. Geralt’s arms are so steady as he lifts Jaskier in one swift motion and carries him toward the keep.

“Lean on me. For now.” The corners of Geralt’s lips quirk up into something akin to a smile, but not yet. It looks physically impossible for Geralt to smile right now. “Lean on me, and don’t worry a thing.”

And Jaskier does. He leans into Geralt’s neck and rubs his damp cheek into the scent there. The sniffles don’t go away for a long time. His breaths are still shuddering, but for the first time, there’s nothing Jaskier wants to say.

For the first time, Jaskier only wants to bury himself into Geralt’s coat, into the quiet safety of his favorite witcher, and ease his mind into oblivion.

---

Tagging: @rockysstupidity @flowercrown-bard @alllthequeenshorses @mothmanismyuncle @percy-jackson-is-sexy- @constantlytiredpigeon @behonesthowsmysinging @kitcatkim3 @endless-whump @rey-a-nonbinary-bisexual @llamasdumpsterfire

Please feel free to tell me if you want to be removed or added to the list <3

#geraskier #geraskier fic #hurt jaskier #jaskier whump #cw: blood #cw: panic attack #cw: vomiting #cw: torture #geralt x jaskier #soft geralt #protective geralt #jaskier being a brat #kissing away tears #hurt/comfort #chrysa your prompt was so soft #but i was in a hurt the bard mood again #oh well #there's nothing i can do #might as well lean into it

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cedricslover · 3 years

Note

can you write a oneshot with wolfstars daughter dating george

Here you go bestie<33 thank u for requesting!!

As a wolfstar shipper and a George girl myself😌, I hope you like this bestie<33

Pairings: Sirius x Remus, George x Fem! Reader

Warnings: some homophobia at the beginning, teasing Sirius Black lmaooo

Word Count: 2.4k

“You want a future with me?”

“Hello dear” you turned around and saw one of your fathers, “Dad!” you jumped and hugged him, you just got off the Hogwarts express, this would be your last summer break since you’re going to be seventh year the next time you step at Hogwarts.

“How’s my baby girl?” He looked at you as you broke the hug, you smiled at the sight of him “Doing great, where’s dad?” you looked around while he picked up your trunk, “Here!” you heard the voice of your other father and your heart jumped out of joy when you saw him, you ran to him and hugged him too.

“Here’s a chocolate for our princess” he handed you a bar of chocolate, “Remus! You ruined my moment with her, you should show up at the exit, not here, you’re ruining my quality time with our daughter!” suddenly Sirius was having a tantrum, not likely a tantrum actually, he was just whining.

“No” Remus answered and looked away while he bit into his own chocolate bar. You laughed at them, “Stop acting like kids” you said and linked your arms to theirs.

“Excuse us?” They both said in unison and looked at you, their forehead creasing that made you laugh even more.

“You may” you nodded while closing your eyes and your parents just looked at each other, and it seemed like they were blaming the other one as to why you are so sarcastic.

“Let’s just go home” you dragged them by the arms since theirs are still linked to yours. You giggled as you saw Sirius not even struggling while carrying your trunk and at the same time being dragged by his daughter, and giggled even more when you saw your other dad who was just eating his chocolate quietly while observing the surroundings.

You three were just like a happy family, parents picking up their child that came from a boarding school, if it weren’t just the ugly looks the people gave you.

It seems like Sirius was also bothered by how people looked at the three of you, seriously? Can’t they just manage their own business.

Remus on the other hand was like used to it, he didn’t show any bothered expression, he didn't want to feed their satisfaction. That is something you got from him, that’s why you just let the people be, but of course, Sirius being Sirius.

He removed his arms from your link and grabbed Remus' face and took a bite from the chocolate that was centimeters away from his lips-being that he was eating it, your eyes widened registering how did that happen so fast, your jaw dropped, and a smile slowly formed in your lips as you saw Remus turning scarlet.

“Gross” you removed your arm that was around Remus’ and walked past them, your smile didn’t left your lips as you see mixed reactions from the crowd at the station, some were smiling, some were confused, some were probably uncomfortable, and of course, the people who were obvious to be insulted or disgusted.

Needless to say, Sirius is your father, so you flicked those people who looked openly disgusted by them, they were sneering, frowning, and rolling their eyes.

“Fuck off git” you mouthed as you walk, turning to them while your middle fingers were greeting them.

“Good job princess” Sirius laughed and high fived you as you three arrived at the front of number 12 Grimmauld Place, you weren’t sure what was the good job for, is it for flicking those people off or for successfully apparating, you decided to shrug it off and just viewed the house, it was your father’s ancestral home, it was filled by terrible memories of his childhood but with you three living there, it was all buried deep down.

You unconsciously stared at the beautiful house that was concealed in the muggles eyes. You felt nostalgic seeing your dads walking towards the door, memories from your childhood appeared in front of you.

A girl in a yellow flowy dress, around the age of four, was running towards two men with their arms open wide, expecting that the little girl would run to them instead of the other, but what they didn’t expect was the little girl would run straight to the space between them and both hug them from the necks.

The little girl was giggling while her dads were teary eyed, that’s when they realized, she never had favorites, if she had the choice to not choose, she wouldn’t.

“Y/N?” Remus called you from the doorstep, his head was cocking from the door. “Oh!” you ran to the door “call me before dinner yeah?” you told Remus as you removed your shoes. You raised your gaze to him with flashing eyes and maintained eye contact, waiting for his answer.

“Alright” he replied to you, you felt sudden joy not even sure why but it did make you kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks!, Love you dad!” you shouted as you ran towards the stairs,

“HOW ABOUT ME?!” you heard Sirius who was probably at the kitchen doing Merlin knows what, “I LOVE YOU TOO!” you yelled while you ran the stairway.

“YOU BETTER BE NOT PREGNANT WITH THAT WEASLEY BOY’S CHILD Y/N!” Remus’ voice echoed and you laughed and stopped from entering your room and peeked down while holding at the stair rails.

“DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT PREGNANT!” you shouted back and you heard his sigh of relief, “YET!” you added and sprinted to your room and closed the door.

You heard both of their voices shouting your name. You cackle while heading to your study table, your room was cozy, it was filled with different drawings you made when you were a child, there was your very first black leather jacket that Sirius gave you before he bought you a bicycle, it was hanging from a corner, properly displayed, he was expecting you to like motorbikes like he did, and you did, you like riding motorbikes.

There was also your very first hair accessories that Remus bought for you, hair pins, hair clips, headbands, and many more. He was the one who likes to tidy you up, even before you make yourself dirty by running and riding the bike. Of course Remus struggled but thankfully, Lily did teach him a few hairstyles when they were teenagers, and the rest of his knowledge came from going to different hair salons just to ask how to style his daughter’s hair.

An owl bumped on your window that made your brows raise and shift your head to that direction.

“Errol?” you said the name of the owl and he dropped a letter to your hand before he headed to your table and lay down, acting very exhausted, of course to your utter panic you immediately got water and placed it in front of him. You sighed as he drank through the container, enough for him to drink.

While he relaxed you opened the letter.

Hello beautiful,

I’ll arrive there at six, see you.

Your husband,

George

You bit your lower lip and smiled, then you forgot, you haven’t told your dads yet. Without wasting any time, you apparated to the kitchen.

“Hey” you voice lingered behind their backs and they jumped, they turned their heads to you with wide eyes, “You don’t do that here” Sirius said while holding his chest, “I almost had a heart attack” he glared at you while you just tried to not laugh,

“You’re just getting old dad” you stated that made him glare at you more, Remus smiled very very sweetly at you, trying to bribe you to not say it “and you too” you smiled back, looking at their sour faces.

“Enough” Remus raised both of his hands and shaked it, trying to shoo you. “I was about to say that George’s arriving at si-” you didn’t have the chance to finish your sentence when someone knocked at the door.

“I’ll get it” you announced, you three were quite tensed as to who might be at the door, you weren’t expecting visitors this early, it wasn't 6 o'clock yet.

You opened the door, ready to run back to the kitchen if something goes wrong, but what greeted who was something-or someone, who had a mischievous smile, his red hair shining because of the sun, and his brown eyes gleaming at you.

“Hello dove” his smile became wider as he caught the perfect view of his girlfriend, her Y/H/C hair complimenting her skin, the eyes that were obviously shocked to see him, and the smile that slowly formed on her soft lips.

“George!” you mentioned his name when you processed who was standing in front of you, he gave you a peck on the lips before he grabbed your waist and pushed you carefully to the side so he can walk, “hello Sirs” he cleared his throat and rubbed both of his hand on his pants before giving your fathers a hand shake.

This would probably be their very first ‘formal’ meeting, they already met each other at Hogwarts, during the Triwizard tournament, but that wasn’t formal enough, unlike now.

George was scratching the back of his neck and was being really nervous, you just surveyed them, and when you noticed something it was too late because your mouth opened before you can even think twice

“Dad, you’re the smallest” you told Sirius that made the three of them look at you, firstly George was shaking his head slightly, trying to tell you that it was not the right time, then Remus was also looking at you, he was trying his best to cross his brows but you can see the ghost of smile that was in his face, on the other hand, Sirius was there shooting daggers at you with his eyes like you’re not his child, then he slowly looked at Remus and George.

George was obviously the tallest, but only an inch taller than Remus, while Sirius, he’s just not a six footer.

“I-uh come George let’s prepare the table” even though it was still early, you reached for George’s hand, still feeling the stares of your father, you wanted to laugh, so hard, but he might not buy you your favorite cereal, so you chose to suck it up.

“Why’d you do that?” George started talking as you fetched his wand and used it to prepare the table using magic, “it was my mouth’s fault, anyway, you told me you're arriving at six, it's not six yet” you answered and watched the floating plates and utensils.

“I was trying my best not to laugh dove, please don’t do that again in front of your parents, I might lose goodie points, and I meant six minutes not six o'clock” he chuckled as he hugged you from the back, wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his chin on the top of your head.

“Even if you lose goodie points, I’ll still love you don’t worry” you faced him and cupped his face, his face that was always as perfect, those freckles that can make a constellation, his eyes that you would prefer to look at rather than the stars, and his hair that would always stand out.

It was like a magnetic pull, your faces was slowly getting nearer and nearer, almost there, the finish line, his lips onto yours, inches turned to an inch, heartbeats getting fast, and you can feel his breath, then his soft lips was supposed to be next

Not until someone cleared their throat that made you push George out of reflex.

“No snogging in this house, you understand that angel?” Sirius crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, “Yes dad” you replied, slightly embarrassed so you chose to continue to prepare the table while George can’t maintain eye contact with you or anyone in the room.

“Sorry dad” you walked to Sirius who was still in the entrance of the kitchen, surprisingly he smiled at you, “Yeah that’s for bullying me” he wrapped his arms over your shoulder “But about that almost kiss? I’m not mad don’t worry, we all kiss someone at some time” he added like it was just common sense for him to not get mad.

“I love you” you said out of the blue while you two watched Remus and George laughing at the dinner table, you rested your head on his chest, “I love you more princess” you felt him kiss the top of your head.

“Just walk with the boy outside while we clean here alright?” Remus looked at you and George, he tapped George’s shoulder before he turned his back to the both of you and be with Sirius who was still drinking wine at the table.

“Come on” George called you and touched your back to guide you, your eyes were still looking at your parents, mesmerized by their strong bond.

“Georgie?” you tried to get his attention while you two walked the dim lighted streets, only the flickering lamp posts and the moon were the sources of light.

“Hmm?” he was busy playing your hand, touching every bit of it, and even comparing it to his. “You think we would be like them?” you stopped on your tracks, feeling the night summer breeze brushing your skin, "Like who love?" He stared at you, now holding your hand firmly, "Sirius and Remus" you answered and tucked the few strands of hair that was bothering your face because of the wind, you looked at his eyes and saw amusement and adoration all over it.

“You’re asking me that?” a lopsided smile appeared on his face, you nodded slightly as an answer, “You’re thinking of marrying me?” he asked you again, now giving a full smile, you nodded again, “You," he pointed to you "want a future with me?” he pointed to himself, his eyes smiling the same as his lips, you nodded again, oblivious of how that made George’s inner monologues that was doubting what would happen with the both of you disappear, because who wouldn’t, you’re Y/N, raised by two amazing people, you’re beautiful, intelligent, bold, and many more that he would even consider you as perfect.

And you’re here, saying that you wanted a future with him.

Now, with the moon smiling at the both of you, the stars being your cheerleaders, your lips met, you hooked your arms around his neck while he cups your face with one hand and the other holding your waist.

At this night, two teenagers shared a kiss under a lamp post, during the summer of 1995.

#george weasley #george fabian weasley #george weasley fic #george weasley x reader #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #weasley twins #remus x sirius #dad Sirius #dad remus #wolfstar #lgbtq #harry potter boys

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coexiising · 3 years

Text

art deco - anakin skywalker

SUMMARY ◆ You’ve been Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan for almost five years now, recieving training from one of the most brilliant Jedi Knights you have ever met. In an attempt to further your training, you and your Master take a trip to Naboo, however, it is soon revealed that your feelings will get in the way.

WARNING(S) ◆ Smut, lowkey slow burn, anakin being hot but what’s new, dirty talk, authority kink, virginity kink, bye

WORDS ◆ 7.8k and i regret nothing

NOTE ◆ I wrote this during heartbreak so this is me totally projecting

»»————-　✼　————-««

THERE WAS SOMETHING INCREASINGLY PLEASANT ABOUT BEING ON NABOO. You were quick to realize that the planet’s beauty that was always spoken about was not just a thing of rumors, and that, in fact, the place was even more beautiful than you could possibly imagine. The way that every tree hung perfectly, with it’s branches begging to be touched by a passerby, and how every single animal that grazed along it’s pastures had a sense of calm that you had never felt in all your years of living in the galaxy.

The villa along the large lake a few miles away from the main city was a thing of dreamlike structures. It’s columns held intricate pieces of wood and stone and the balconies that overlooked both water and flower fields were more welcoming than you could ever imagine. A own little touch of paradise, and you would be staying here for only a week.

The war, which you had been flung into only a few years into your training, was going on longer than anyone anticipated. The separatists were not letting up on their preposition to become a sovereign state, and the deaths of thousands mass produced clones has become a daily thing. It took a great toll on everyone involved, and more specifically the Padawan’s like yourself that were not at all prepared for this type of environment for your training. When you were just a youngling, all you expected was to go on lots of missions with your Master that would be Jedi affairs, not Republic ones. In a way, you felt as if you were being robbed of something that you weren’t quite sure how to pinpoint, an innocence in a way.

This was the Council’s way of trying to make it up to you. You knew that it wasn’t supposed to actually be a vacation, no, you were meant to keep up with your training, just in a different environment that would make you more akin with the Force. And that place was Naboo, tranquility in the form of a planet.

“I can feel your apprehension,” Your Master told you, walking in front of you up the stone stairs that came up to the front door of the place you would be staying in with him. Behind you was a ship, no one inside to accompany the two of you. To do this right, as the Council said, you were not to be distracted by anyone else, no clones, no droids, no nothing.

If only they knew that it didn’t matter if there was no one other than your Master to engage with, because Anakin Skywalker, alone, was able to distract you for hours on end if you really put your mind to it. Anakin and you were very similar in age, early adult years, and yet he had the role of Master and you were still just a Padawan. You knew that it was because of his efforts during the Battle of Geonosis at the very beginning of the war, and that alone was enough to grant him the title of Jedi Knight, but it still was awkward at points when he talked down on you, because really, he had only two years more experience in life than you did.

You did what you were told. You always did. As a youngling you had a temper, a rebellious streak that for a time was almost concerning for the Council and the Master’s that taught you. And yet, here you were, a respectful young Jedi. Over the years you have grown, probably more than any other youngling that the Order has ever seen. It was like overnight somehow you turned from a child to a young woman, and you were adamant about completing your studies so that you could become a Jedi Knight. Those plans, however, got incredibly tainted with the war, and then with the introduction of you and your Master. It was a rather uncalled for pairing. You were hoping for someone like Master Yoda to take you as his Padawan or even for master Plo Koon, yet it was wildly noted that you were picked by Anakin Skywalker yourself. A rather odd thing and he still hasn’t told you completely why.

Anakin was not entirely a man of secrets. You could ask him things about almost anything and he would tell you. The only thing that he kept guarded in the deepest parts of his mind was things of his past, and his reasoning behind making such vast decisions like taking on a Padawan during a large civil war. But you and Anakin still managed to be very close, the Force growing strong between both of you as if it too agreed in your compatibility.

You shook your head, immediately refuting his accusations. “No, it’s not apprehension,” you told him, eyes coming up to meet the back of his head since he wasn’t looking at you. “Just concern, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” Your Master questioned. The second that his foot came up to the top of the stairs, his figure turned around and faced you, those bold, blue eyes of his racing to meet your own. “If you have any doubts about anything, tell me, I am your Master after all.”

That’s exactly that problem, you thought to yourself, making sure that your mental shields were up to guard it. That was the last thing that you needed, for him to know the things that you wished to push down into the darkest depths of your mind. That was the Jedi way, after all, keep all those emotions that were considered dangerous and a path to the dark side in a little cage in your mind and throw away the key. The thought of simply just being with him here alone made your brain almost electrify yourself, thinking about all the possibilities of slipping up and revealing all your emotions towards your Master directly to him. It was something to fear, and yet you were not allowed to fear.

You offered him the fakest smile that you could muster, saying, “Yes, Master, I’m alright. Let’s just get inside, it’s almost dark.” The setting sun was directly to your back, illuminating him in front of you like he was something to be marvelled at. And to your defense, Anakin Skywalker was definitely something to be marvelled at. His chiseled cheeks only looked more distinguished in the golden light, along with his dark brown hair that seemed to catch it just right. It made you feel weak in the knees, these thoughts of him, and you knew it was wrong to think of him in such ways - but you just couldn’t stop. Every time you tried to vilify him in your mind, another reason why you should love popped right back up in its place. It was a deadly cycle that you have shamelessly fallen victim to, and there was nothing that you could do to stop it or further this attraction. It was forbidden.

The moment that you stepped into the building, a sigh left your lips, eyes taking in all your surroundings. It was marvellous. There were marbled stone floors that were covered in rugs in some places, plush couches in the middle of the room, and off to the side were the counters of the kitchen, all looking as if no one had ever stepped foot in here. Suddenly you felt out of place here, like you weren’t good enough to live in such a lavish way. After all, your temple rooms were nothing compared to this. They were bland, sandy and brown colors everywhere. Only a dresser with a small mirror and a bed were in it. Yet here, there were different hues of reds, greens, and blues, tables and chairs and fancy lamps, and plants that added almost another dimension to the already breathtaking house.

“It’s - It’s,” You started, not able to find the correct words for what you were trying to say.

Luckily, Anakin finished your sentence, “Breathtaking. It’s breathtaking.”

You turned to look back at him, taking in his features for just a moment more.

Breathtaking, you thought to yourself. Yes, everything here is just breathtaking.

The soft silks of your bed sheets rolled between your fingers, tempting you to lay into bed and never get back up. How on Earth were you supposed to keep training when you were living like this? You could imagine yourself, not as a Jedi but as a normal person, eating wild berries as you sat on your bed near the balcony, looking towards the horizon and not having one single worry in that head of yours. It was tantalizing, the perfect picture in your mind of what you wished to be.

“You think too loud.”

You spun around to only be met with your Master, who was leaning against your doorframe effortlessly. A heat rose up to your cheeks, realizing that you hadn’t been taking the proper precautions of keeping those thoughts only to yourself. They were just little flings of ideas, nothing too brash that could get you into any trouble. “Sorry, Master, I shouldn’t have been thinking of slacking off when we have work to do in the coming days.”

A chuckle escaped his lips from deep within his chest. “It’s okay, Y/N, really, if I am being honest, I was thinking the same not too long ago.”

That was shocking news to you. You always thought that Anakin always wanted to be on the run, as if this trip that he had to take with you was annoying to him because he had to take time away from the front lines of the war. But it also made sense, even victorious war generals get tired sooner or later. Perhaps you didn’t know him as much as you thought that you did. This trip wasn’t just for you, it was for the both of you. It was good to go back to basics, remember the first feelings of the force and go from there.

“And here I was thinking that you didn’t want to be here,” You mused.

Your Master laughed at your jest. “No, quite the opposite. It’ll be nice to take a step back from life for a little bit and get some much needed rest.”

“I didn’t know that General Skywalker knew what rest meant,” You continued on your playful banter.

“I don’t,” He chuckled. “Maybe you can teach me?”

Now that sends you through a loop. You knew that he was probably just playing around with you, since you were teasing him a little bit. But that sentence was enough for that place in your mind to unlock all the fantasies you had in your head about him, the ones that you only dared touch when you knew you were alone and it was the dead of night so no was there to read them. You held yourself back from becoming flustered, knowing the moment you showed any signs of it that he would know that something was up. Instead you simply nodded your head, taking your eyes off of him to the balcony that was open to your room, seeing the way that the moonlight illuminated the waves of the water. “Perhaps after training tomorrow, we could go by the water?” You asked him.

“Sure thing,” Anakin said, turning on his heel and making his way out of your room. You took a sigh of relief at his absence, not because you wanted him gone, but because seeing him in such a leisurely setting was starting to get to your head. That dizzy feeling that got to your head every time you looked at him for too long started to subside, and you were left with only your thoughts as you put away some robes you packed for the stay.

The moment that your head hit the soft, plush pillow of your large bed, you were completely enveloped by sleep. In your dreams you only saw you and Anakin, happy and smiling in the gracious flower fields of Naboo, preparing meals together half dressed in the kitchen, and falling asleep in each other's arms. It was so real and lifelike that when you woke up in the morning, you felt as if you had awoken from an alternate universe.

Anakin didn’t know what he was doing.

Of course he was excited to be able to take a break from the long, withheld war between the Republic and the Separatists, but at the same time he knew that being alone with you was going to be a struggle for him. Anakin loved to train you, he really did. You were a loyal Padawan to the Order and was eager to learn the ways of the Force by his instruction. He knew the moment that he saw you that he wanted to train you. But he hadn’t prepared for him to become so emotionally attached to you, and it was tearing the young Jedi apart.

It was incredibly taboo of him to gain these feelings for two reasons. One: the Jedi were forbidden from attachment. And although Anakin hadn’t been known for following all the rules of the Jedi, he knew that attachment could possibly lead to dark places if he wasn’t careful. Two: you were his Padawan. It may have been different if you were within the same ranks as him, but you were not. He was supposed to be your teacher, and there was no way that he would take advantage of his position of power over you if you were not willing.

He, too, was having doubts about this vacation. Anakin almost asked his First in Command, Rex, if he would accompany the two Jedi for the week, but there was too much going on for the clone to take time off. So it was just you and him, alone in this house on this beautiful planet. Anakin was uneasy up until the moment he walked in your room last night when for a half a second he could sense your aura from the Force, and it was also uneasy about being with him alone. It was strange, since you were clearly hiding these thoughts from him with your mental shields whenever you were around him. But the moment he left you alone, those shields came down.

“Don’t think about keeping yourself up, the Force will do that on it’s own as long as you keep the connection with it. Focus on the rocks,” Anakin told you, walking around you in circles as you were in a handstand, mentally bringing up some rocks off the ground and stacking them off to your side. This was generally a lesson that a youngling would be given, though it was a good mental exercise. And in Anakin’s opinion: it was way better than meditating. “Feel it flow through you, allow it to take you over and become one with it.” These were the same things that Master Obi-Wan had taught him.

It was a bright, sunny day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky as the time reached a little bit past noon. Training outside in the fields of Naboo were easier than doing so at the Jedi Temple, considering there was more nature that was akin to all aspects of the force. And the sun felt good on both of your skin, smelling the natural air that had a fluorescent scent to it rather than the smog and industrial life of Coruscant.

Your muscles were beginning to strain from underneath you as your head tilted to the side, watching all the rocks fall into place to your left. Even though the Force provided much needed relief on your arms, they were beginning to let out. There was one more rock for you to move and it was the smallest one, a tiny little pebble that needed to go on the top. It was such a small mass, yet with all of this mental and physical strain, it felt like a boulder to move across the air slowly with your mind. All you wanted was for Master Skywalker to feel proud of you. You wanted to see that smile on his face as you lifted that last pebble up and was allowed to finish your studies for the day.

The more you concentrated, the more you could feel the Force flow right through you. It could be felt in the tingling of your palms, sending vibrations towards the center of your chest while your blood flowed. Almost more importantly, you could feel Anakin’s eyes on you, waiting patiently for you to make your next move. Slowly, but surely, the little pebble made its way towards the top of the stacked rocks. Your eyes widened with joy, but immediately squinted back up when it shook a tiny bit. The moment that the bottom of it hit the top, you released your much concentrated attachment with the Force, and allowed yourself to fall seamlessly to the ground. The blood rushed back to your head, making your eyes darken to adjust. Once you could see again, you saw Anakin standing over you, that grin you had looked forward to seeing on his face.

“Not bad, Padawan,” He said in an appealing tone, extending a hand to help you up to your feet. You were quick to take it, ignoring the way that your heart soared as your skin touched against his skin. “We should go back to the house.” He almost turned and began walking away, but you scrunch your nose up and kept his hand in a tight grip, prompting him to look right back at you with a confused look. “What’s up?”

“You promised we could go to the water afterwards,” You told him, hoping that you were jogging his memory from last night.

But you didn’t need to jog Anakin’s memory, because he had been thinking about it ever since you asked. Thinking about having to watch you submerge under the water and come back up, drops of clear blue dripping down your exposed shoulders, and keeping himself from doing something that he would most likely regret when you would reject him, scolding him for his thinking. He thought about the way he wanted to put his hands on your hips and pull you as close as you possibly could get to him, taking the opportunity to pepper kisses along your smooth skin. It killed him to think that you probably didn’t think the same way about him, it was going to goddamn tear him apart.

Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to go back on his promise to you. It was the least he could do after thinking such sinful things about you. Anakin’s gave you a nod and walked beside you on the short trail to the large lake. You could hear the water ripple towards the small shoreline, coming up and then receding back again in a timely fashion. You kicked off your shoes, deciding that your tank top and pants were okay to get wet, especially since you wouldn’t take the risk of undressing in front of Anakin. As much as the thought was tempting, you knew better than to test your luck. Anakin watched with intensity as you got into the water, going deep enough to where only the tops of your shoulders and up were exposed. Maker, he cursed himself, did you have to look so good barely doing anything?

You cocked your head to the side. “Well . . . are you going to get in or just stare at me?” You asked, immediately submerging yourself under the water to ignore what he had to say about your teasing. Your heart thumped profusely as you sat there under the water holding your breath. Anakin had been looking at you.

He mentally cursed himself once again, taking his shoes off and following you into the water. It did feel good, the water having an almost calming effect over him as he walked deeper in the lake. He looked around him, taking in the appearance of all the beautiful trees that lined up, beautiful fruit hanging off of the branches. Little flowers were along the bay, facing right towards him as if they were welcoming him to their home.

The sun spilled harsh rays along his skin, causing Anakin to dip his head down fully into the water. Once he came back up for air, his eyes shifted over to you, both of you holding a type of eye contact that you swore almost knocked your breath out. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced before, like he was looking right into your soul and you to his, a sense of desire burning a pit in your stomach. Feeling exposed, you shifted your gaze to the fish swimming in the water near you. You could still feel his eyes on you, in them holding truths that he wished to tell you, but being unable to put the words together to explain.

“There’s something that you’re not telling me.”

Your eyes opened at your Master’s voice and looked directly at him. You had been meditating on your bed before sleeping, knowing that you hadn’t gotten the necessary amount of meditating that you needed for the day. At the temple they usually kept you on some kind of schedule, though here with Anakin rules were a little - no, more loose than normal.

Anakin once again stood in your doorframe, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed in, like he didn’t feel like he had a place stepping into your bedroom. You searched his face to gauge a feeling for what he was talking about, looking for hints of mischief or anger. There was nothing, his face was completely blank, almost too blank like he was hiding something from you.

You knew you had nothing to hide - or at least nothing that he should know about. “I don’t know what you mean, Master,” You replied, uncrossing your legs from their criss cross position and hugging them close to your chest. “Have I done something wrong?”

That answer seemed to not satisfy him, because for a moment something flickered in his eyes. “No, nothing like that,” He told you, furrowing his brows together and taking a tentative step closer into your room. “It’s just, I get this feeling when I’m around you. Your force signature . . . like something is just gnawing at you and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Oh, you were screwed. Alarms blared in your mind, thinking about how you had let your thoughts run too much during this trip. All the worst outcomes of this came to your mind, like how he would laugh at your growing feelings towards him, how much you wanted him almost shamelessly. It made your stomach twist into several knots, wanting to bury yourself into a hole and never ever come out of it again.

Your face and the Force must’ve told it all, because he spoke again, saying, “There. Right there. I can feel it, Y/N. Just talk to me. What is going on?” Your bottom lip quivered, knowing that there was no way you were getting out of this. This was it. The day you had been dreading and hoping didn’t come. Everything was about to come crash down onto your life.

“I can’t,” You said in a low voice, shifting your weight to sit at the edge of the bed, putting your head into your hands and staring down at the plush carpet in an attempt to get away from his stare. Almost as if you thought if you looked away long enough, he would suddenly disappear.

“What do you mean ‘you can’t’? You’re my Padawan, you can tell me anything.”

Padawan. The title felt foreign in your mind now. It was something that you knew you couldn’t hold onto for much longer once the truth was out. You would be stripped of it and be a Jedi no more. The council would hear of your feelings and immediately expel you. Padawan. Padawan. Padawan. The more the word bounced around in your mind the more you felt tears welling up into your eyes.

And you didn’t mean to sound so harsh when you said it, but your hands were balling up into fists as you said, “That’s what’s wrong!” Your head tilted up, seeing that Anakin had walked closer to you, towering over your frame. His face showed confusion, not understanding what you were alluding to. He didn’t even have to say it, but his expression was saying explain.

How could you even begin?

You were wordless.

“Please . . . I just want to help you,” Anakin told you, his hand coming to grab onto your forearm. The touch felt like hot coals on your body, scorching your soul. “I don’t like seeing you like this.” Which you knew translated to I don’t like not knowing how to fix it.

“It’s you,” You confessed. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

For a moment, Anakin thought that he had stepped into some parallel universe. Or that this was some sort of prank let on by someone else. There was no way that this was happening, you were confessing. You had been thinking about him, probably as much as he was thinking about you. It felt as if the world had turned on its axis and was spinning the opposite direction.

You, on the other hand, was waiting for the words that never came. You expected him to immediately tell you that he was going to report you to the Council. And yet, he stood there, almost looking as dumbfounded as you did, maybe even more. This prompted you to stand up, his hand falling down and getting dangerously close to your own.

“I know . . .” You started again, seeing as he wasn’t going to say anything. “I know that it’s wrong, that I shouldn’t be thinking of you in the ways that I am. But I can’t stop, Anakin, you consume me.”

The usage of his name snapped him back to reality and out of his own spinning thoughts, and hearing it come from specifically your lips was not helping his frame of mind. It sounded . . . different coming from your mouth. Like you were saying it like a praise rather than just a passing phrase like most people did. He wanted you to say it over and over again, repeating it like a mantra you were to speak or you would die if you didn’t. His eyes flickered into your own and saw how scared you were of how he would react and how he was definitely not helping to settle your nerves.

In truth, he didn’t know how to handle this situation. After all, this was not a lesson that had been given to him and he was definitely not in the best place to tell you anything, since his emotions were starting to cloud his judgement and all he could think was how he wished to tell you he felt the same way.

You waited for his response, getting impatient and wanting to just get this over with. You were waiting for the words he was supposed to say.

But Anakin didn’t always do the things he was supposed to do.

“You and I both know that forming attachments isn’t allowed,” Anakin said. “And yet I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

A visible look of shock washed over your face, mouth opening slightly and eyes widening, heart pounding against your ribcage. His hand reached down and grabbed your own, fingertips softly touching the palm of your hand. This felt like a dream. Were you sure that you weren’t dreaming? No, this was definitely real. Anakin was in front of you for sure, confessing that he was feeling the exact same way.

Anakin tipped his head down to meet your own, his breath fanning along your face, making you shiver. Your breath hitched in your throat, his lips brushing against your own, almost like he was testing you. You could feel the tips of his hair tickling against your forehead, nose against nose. You were so close. The hand on your own was grasping now, pulling your body close to his. And the two of you sat there, lips millimeters close while each of your minds buzzed with the feeling of doing something so daring.

You felt yourself going mad, you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t wait. All of your feelings erupted inside of your throat and suddenly you were kissing him, lips smashing against his own with no care in the world. You didn’t care about the Council, the Code . . . anything. All you cared about was Anakin, wanting as much of him that he was willing to give you.

You had never really kissed anyone before. There was a moment back when you were only ten and you were with another youngling, seeing one of the citizens of Coruscant kissing each other on the street. Interested in what they were doing, you and your friend kissed, thinking that it was weird and dismissing it. That had been your first kiss, a rather embarrassing one, but it was nothing compared to the way Anakin kissed you. He kissed you like there was a purpose to every single move of his muscles. He kissed you like you were forbidden fruit and he was starving.

His other hand came up to the back of your neck, tangling in your hair and keeping your face close to his. For just a moment his tongue slipped into your mouth and you made a small sound, butterflies swarming in your stomach. You tried to mimic what he was doing, going with your instincts and grasping onto his bicep, feeling the taut muscles under your touch.

Everything about yours and his actions were needy and hungry, wanting each other with such need that you had pushed down for so long. All of it seemed to come out of you like crashing waves. The kissing was nice, though after a while you needed more, you were dying for more of him. Please, Anakin, you thought.

What do you want, Padawan? He asked through his thoughts to you, hand coming to caress your face to look down at you. You looked into those big, blue eyes of his that never ceased to awaken something within you.

“You, Anakin, I want you,” You whispered to him, as if someone was going to hear if you talked too loud. “Please.” You thought that you probably sounded like someone desperate, and in a way you were, you had waited for this forever and had convinced yourself that it would never happen. But he thought the exact opposite, he marvelled in the way that you looked at him, wanting to show you how much you truly meant to him. The attraction and lust was there, intermingled with something more that neither of you dared to acknowledge.

He didn’t hesitate to give you what you wanted, slowly inching you towards the bed and helping you rest on your back, the silk sheets against the back of your arms and neck. Anakin was quick to follow, climbing on top of you and connecting his lips onto the skin right below your jaw. His lips were soft like snowflakes falling onto your skin, creating a masterpiece on your skin like you were his canvas. It all felt too good, the Force heightening the sensations to an almost unbearable amount. It sent shockwaves to your core, igniting a feeling you often only felt during the late hours of the night.

Seeing how well your body responded to him, well, almost drove Anakin crazy. You were so willing, so ready for him that his mind became cloudy, the only thing he could make out was his thoughts of you. Nothing about the war, the Council, the fact that he was your Master . . . It all blew away with the wind. His lips trailed down from your jaw to your neck, paying extra attention to the places that made you breath out more than the others. Your hands found their respective place in his hair, feeling the softness of the dirty blonde curls between your fingers.

Your clothes suddenly felt foreign on your body, you wanted them off, you wanted his off so that you could see all of him. He seemed to hear your thoughts, humming against your skin and pulling away, pressing a soft, firm kiss to your lips and helping you get out of them, and in turn you helped him get out of his.

Anakin’s body was like nothing you imagined. He was breathtaking. You knew that he had a nice body because of all the training and countless amounts of physical strain he has been through, but looking at those abs that he had, along with the sun kissed skin he had, you felt your throat close up, feeling inferior to what he looked like. “You’re beautiful, Y/N,” He spoke to your thoughts. “Don’t ever think that you’re not.” And you believed him.

His hands came to your hips, fingers toying with the fabric of your underwear that was the only thing blocking him from seeing you fully. His eyes scanned you, taking in the sheer and utter beauty before him. He wanted to kiss, lick, and nip on every single inch of skin on you. He wanted to learn each and every single curve, hear every story behind your scars, and know just what touches would have you squirming from underneath him.

No one has seen you this exposed before. You didn’t know whether or not to feel embarrassed, because he seemed to know what he was doing. It was not that you had taken the Jedi code to heart, but you simply hadn’t known anyone that you found enough to take that last piece of innocence from you - no one except Master Skywalker. And only now did you actually realize what was going to happen.

Your whole body felt hot, needing to feel the release that was beginning to build up from all of his kisses and your imagination running its course. “Anakin,” You breathed out, not knowing how to form into words what you wanted from him. Of course he knew, he could feel your force signature morph into something almost sinful, something he was sure he was emitting himself. After all, neither of you were hiding anything anymore. He knew exactly what he was going to do to you so that he could hear the plethora of moans that he knew you had just for him, wanting to hear his name come off of your lips in pleasure.

His head ducked down and kissed your hipbone, fingers hooking under your underwear and slowly sliding them off. Your eyes stayed on his actions, mouth forming into an ‘O’ when you realized what he was going to do. He was going to use his mouth on you. These were only things that you thought in your deepest, darkest fantasies, like he had reached into those parts of your mind and did exactly what you wanted.

As if Anakin was just tempting you, he pressed another slow kiss to the inside of your thigh and then did the same thing to the other side. Your hips lifted up only slightly, showing him that you couldn’t wait much longer. A chuckle left him, eyes reaching your own and saying, “Eager?” You weren’t even ashamed when you shook your head, keeping eye contact with him as he licked a bold stripe right up your slit. It felt as if an earthquake hit your body, your back arching and hands gripping onto his hair.

He hummed against you, liking the way that you responded to his actions. If he had it his way, he would sit here with you like this for hours on end, bringing you up to that high place again and again until you were a wrecked mess before him. It made him simply go crazy to think that he was the first person to ever do this to you, that he would be the first of anyone to hear those moans and profanities that slipped from your cherry kissed lips. Anakin’s own thoughts made him groan out, a noise that you played on repeat in your mind as your eyes screwed closed.

Your thighs quivered beside his face, attempting to squeeze shut so that you could keep him there forever. But his hands came and held them in place, fingers digging into your muscles that gave in to his touch like it was nothing. You were putty in his hands, the only movement you had was your hands pulling on his hair and the arch of your back while he lapped his tongue against you with no mercy.

“Stay still,” He told you, pulling away for a moment to lick what was left of you on his lips. You nodded, chest heaving and heart sinking at the loss of contact. But Anakin didn’t leave for long, his mouth on your clit accompanied with one of his fingers circling your entrance. You nearly lost it when he dipped his middle finger in experimentally, gauging your reaction. You could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten, which only amplified once his finger pushed into you all the way.

You didn’t even attempt to try and censor the obscenities that came out of your mouth, mixed in rhyme with his name. Anakin. Anakin. Anakin. It was the only word that felt real in your mind.

You waited for that final jump towards a euphoric end, but it never came. Instead Anakin pulled away from you and his fingers left, making you feel uneasily empty. Opening your eyes, you saw that he was pulling down his boxers, taking his cock into his hands and watching as you almost became slack jawed - realizing what was about to happen. A moment of worry nestled its way into your mind, making your heart thump. If anyone was to find out, you would surely not be accepted back into the Order. You would never be able to have Anakin again. Jedi were not to fear, and yet here you were, fearing that you would lose the one person that you cared about - the only one you knew cared about you.

It was your moment to choose. You knew that if you backed out, at least you would be able to work under him still and not have his affections. It would be better than never seeing him again. And yet, you couldn’t see your life without him, all of him. Not just the side that was your Master.

Anakin sensed your worry, taking your chin in his hands so that you looked up at him. “Are you sure?” He asked you, not wanting to move forward before you were ready. And God, were you ready.

And with all the courage that you mustered up, you gave him a small smile and said, “Yes.” You felt like you were flinging yourself off of some sort of cliff, or even more sinfully feeling like you were Persephone, cutting up her own slice of pomegranate and looking right into Hades eyes as she tasted the fruit, securing your fate that you would stay with him. You would stay with Anakin, even if it was only for this night.

He nestled between your legs and you could feel his tip press against your entrance. Air was caught in your lungs, sitting up on your elbows so that you could see as he eased himself into you. A sting of pain and a subtle feeling of pleasure was seated inside of you, watching as his cock be enveloped by you inch by inch. Anakin hissed at the feeling, you were so goddamn tight and he never wanted to stop from being inside of you. Once all of him was inside, he leaned over so his head was in the crook of your neck, pressing a kiss to your searing skin as you adjusted to him bottoming out.

You urged him to continue, thinking that the discomfort would soon go away with time. And you were eager to get all of him that you could, temptation coming forward instead of reason. He pulled out all the way then eased himself back in, continuing the slower pace and watching your reaction before him, your hands reaching to his back and finding their place there. One of his hands kept your legs open, taking you by your thigh and hoisting it up.

It took all that he could muster to not just ram into you, the want starting to cloud his judgment. The Force felt as if it was pushing both you and him towards each other, the connection almost driving each of you crazy. “You feel . . .” He started. “You feel so good.” That alone, along with the raspiness in his voice, made a fire erupt in your stomach. You sighed in response, eyes fluttering closed once again.

And then, much to his surprise, you whispered, “Go faster, Anakin.” You needed him so bad you felt like you were going to explode, lust enveloping the both of you and intertwining with your Force energies.

He didn’t need to be told twice, and he gripped onto the leg he lifted up, beginning a slightly faster rhythm that had you arching your neck and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Anakin was so big, stretching you out in just the right way that had you almost keeling over if he hadn’t had such a tight grip on you. Your one leg wrapped along his waist, heel digging into his back while his pace increased.

This angle he had you in made you yelp and moan shamelessly, not caring if people all the way in the capital could hear you as you yelled his name like a prayer. His pace finally became a fast rhythm and you found comfort in being to finally feel nothing but pleasure with every deep stroke he made.

In this place, it was only you and him. Like you were in your own little place of paradise where you could explore each other in every way. There was nothing that could take this moment from you or him, this moment would forever be engraved in your mind for many years to come, remembering the way that he moaned out your name and the way he looked when you opened your eyes to peek at his face. His brows were furrowed, sweat beading on his forehead and mouth spilled open saying nothing but your name.

He made you feel so good, so euphoric that the fire grew and grew, becoming a wildfire raging inside of you. And you looked so heavenly to him, the way that your eyes only looked at him, breasts bouncing with every harsh thrust he gave you. You took him so well, like you were made for only him. His hips brushed against your own, hand coming up to caress your cheek, forcing you to look at him in the eyes.

You weren’t going to last much longer. Not with the way that he was pounding into you with sheer force you didn’t know was possible until now. But you didn’t want this to end, you never wanted this to end in fear that things would go back to the way they were before. You would have to try and forget that this ever happened. It wasn’t something you wanted to do and didn’t even know if you had the strength to do it. After this moment both of you would be connected.

You made a guttural noise, teetering over the edge of what felt like a wave of bliss. This was it, there was no way that you could keep yourself from it now. It only took a singular deep stroke of his cock to send you right over the edge, your back arching and body spasming, his name rolling off of your tongue in the most sinful way you have ever said it before. Your hands gripped for any part of him that you could reach, groping his muscles to keep him close to you. He didn’t stop moving inside of you, making you ride it out even harder as he chased his own high.

You were so sensitive as he fucked into you, giving you no mercy. He groaned as you came, watching the way that your eyes screwed shut and mouth opening in as you sucked in harsh breaths. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you and you knew that he was close, wondering if he was going to cum inside of you or pull out before he did. He did the latter, taking one more deep stroke before pulling out. Anakin was about to start stroking himself with his hand but you rushed with your own to meet him there, using your own and pumping a few times.

A string of profanities came from his lips as he came, white hot liquid spurting onto your stomach, dripping like beads coating your skin. He had no shame as he shuddered, muscles flexing with every passing second. He drank in your body, seeing how wet you were for him, how soft your hand was on his cock, how much he longed to see you like this more times before you and him left back for the war. And soon enough he was finished, the only thing between both of you was both of your panting breaths.

Anakin moved to grab something on the floor, realizing that it was the shirt he had on before and moving to wipe your stomach off, dropping it to the floor and coming to lay down next to you. You winced for a moment as you moved to look at him, his own eyes staring at the ceiling. You were scared of what was to come next, if there was anything that was supposed to come next. You knew that the two of you couldn’t be together, at least openly, though it was even risky to continue doing something like this in private.

“Anakin,” You called out to him, forcing him to look at you. “What will happen next?”

“I don’t know, Y/N, I don’t know,” He responded. All he knew was that he wanted you, again and again. In the domestic moments and in the explicit ones like before. You were so tantalizing, and he realized now that because he had tasted the forbidden fruit that was you, he would never be able to stop. There was simply no way that he would be able to conceal his want for you from you anymore.

You waited for his answer, knowing that it would probably be one you didn’t want to hear. But for the second time this evening, Anakin surprised you again.

He leaned over and kissed you.

And you knew his answer from that.

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