#Life gets a pink circle because she fucking hates everyone lmAO

[kxllerblond]

[cherryobx]

Stupid party, stupid movie//Topper Thornton x reader

request: "Hiii, could i request a topper imagine? Like after Topper and Sarah break up Kelce introduces Topper to a couple of his girl friends (the reader included) and topper finds the reader cute and just ends up talking to her the whole time (maybe at a party and he takes her home after)?"

summary: Kelce invites Topper to a party after his break up with Sarah. That's where he meets you.

warnings: language (maybe idk i forgot lmao), mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing

WC: 1.5k

(not my gif, creds to the owner!)

Topper’s break-up with Sarah took a toll on him. Of course, he was pretty heartbroken after finding out what was going on between her and John B. After all he thought that he had loved Sarah. At least that’s what it had felt like to him. That’s what he told himself.

For weeks, Topper moped around, barely leaving his room. He didn’t feel like going to parties, playing golf or hanging out with his friends. He just wanted to be alone so he could think everything through. Sometimes he even had trouble sleeping.

After a while, his friends became worried. Especially Kelce. Topper was his best friend. He found it was weird that he was acting like this over a girl. Even if this girl was Sarah Cameron.

So, Kelce decided that he was going to help his best friend get over Sarah. He knew that Topper would not respond to his messages or calls, so he just showed up at his house one day, totally unannounced. Topper’s mom let him in.

Kelce knocked on his bedroom door and waited for an answer. Topper mumbled a faint ‘come in’ from the other side of the door. Kelce then opened the door and walked in, seeing Topper sitting on his bed playing videogames.

“Hey, Top!” Kelce patted him on the shoulder as a greeting and sat down beside him. Topper just gave him a ‘hmph’ as an answer since he was so invested in his game.

“I’m throwing a party tonight. I think you should come.”

“No, thanks.” Topper didn’t even look away from the screen. Kelce stood up and pulled the plug, so the screen went black. “Dude, what the fuck?” Topper protested, throwing his controller across the room.

“You need to get out of the house. Like ASAP. You look like shit, to be honest.”

Topper rolled his eyes. “You think I don’t know that?”

“I’m just saying that you need to get out there again. Don’t let that bitch ruin your entire life.”

“Don’t call her a bitch.”

“Stop protecting her, you’re not together anymore.” Topper didn’t let it show but the words hurt him. It had been weeks since his break-up with Sarah. Maybe Kelce was right. Maybe he should get out there and be the Topper everyone knew. Fuck it.

“Fine. I’ll come to your stupid party.”

Kelce smiled in victory. “Be there at 10.” With that, he left. And Topper was all alone again. For the rest of the day Topper spent his time trying to look normal again. He tried to get rid of the dark circles under his eyes, make his hair look normal so it wouldn’t look like a bird’s nest, he even worked out. When 10 o’clock started rolling around, he walked over to Kelce’s place. His house wasn’t far away anyways. He didn’t like bringing his car to parties because he was afraid that something might happen to it. His mother would literally kill him.

“You came!” Kelce exclaimed throwing his arm around Topper. “I gotta introduce you to some of my friends.”

“What friends?” Topper asked sarcastically and Kelce rolled his eyes. “You’re funny.”

Kelce led him to a small group of girls sitting on the couch, chatting amongst themselves. You included. You had never been a big fan of parties but your friends had dragged you there that night basically against your will. But you were definitely going to thank them after your eyes met the one and only, Topper Thornton.

“Ladies.” Kelce plopped down between two of your friends, giving them both a smile. “I’m pretty sure you all know my good friend Topper.” He waved his hand, motioning for Topper to sit down as well. The couch was huge but it was mostly occupied so the only available seat was next to you.

“You mind if I sit?” he asked.

You shook your head. “Not at all.” He gave you a small smile as a way of thanking you and took his seat next to you.

Kelce started introducing your friend group to Topper and soon everyone exept you had been introduced.

“And last, but definitely not least, Y/N. She hates parties so go easy on her, Top.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Topper said politely, waving at everyone. Then turning to you, he said. “You hate parties, huh? Then what are you doing here?”

You sighed. “My friends dragged me here tonight. They said something along the lines of ‘you’re boring’ and ‘stop sitting at home every night, watching your stupid movies’ and so on.”

“Well, if it makes you better, I didn’t really want to come tonight either.”

“You didn’t? How come? You seem like the partying type.” You were honestly surprised.

“Just because. And what do you mean I seem like the partying type?” He didn’t want to bring up his break-up with Sarah. That was the whole reason he came here tonight. To forget.

“I don’t know. You just give off those vibes I guess.”

“Hmm fair.”

“Would you like a drink? I can make some really good ones.”

“I thought you said you didn’t like parties, but sure,” Topper said but still followed you into the kitchen.

“I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like to drink,” you said, winking at him. You gathered the different types of alcohol you needed and started making a drink for him. Once you were finished, you added some ice and then gave it to him. He took a small sip at first, almost cautiously.

“Oh, come on, grandma! You gotta down the whole thing!” you laughed. So he drank the whole thing and then placed the glass on the kitchen counter.

“That was actually really good.”

“I told you so,” you said with a knowing smirk.

“Okay, since you made me a drink it’s only fair that I make you one too.” He gently nudged you out of the way and started making a drink for you as well. You hoisted yourself onto the counter and just watched him. The way his muscles moved and how he bit his lower lip in concentration made you so attracted to him for some reason. But you didn’t feel bad about it though. He was attractive anyway. All the girls in Kildare were head over heels for him.

“Okay, here you go.” He handed you the drink and you took a sip of it. It surprised you that it actually tasted really good. You took another sip.

“Judging by the looks of it, you like it.”

“I love it,” you admitted, making him smile like he had won the lottery. He definitely felt like it.

“What do you say we get out of here? Considering the fact that we both didn’t want to come here in the first place…”

You didn’t even have to think before giving him an answer. “Sure.”

He took your hand his as he led you through the crowd of dancing people. When Kelce spotted you two leaving hand-in-hand he cheered which made the both of you laugh.

“We can go to my place,” he offered, thankful that his mom wasn’t at home that night.

“Yeah, sure, fine by me.”

You walked to his place, still holding hands. It felt right. Your hands fit together perfectly, like they were made to so. He asked questions about yourself, wanting to get to know you better. He was surprised how into you he was. He hadn’t thought about Sarah even once this evening and it actually made him happy. He was moving on.

He unlocked the front door and held it open so you could walk in first. “What a gentleman,” you said. He actually felt his cheeks burn up. You had made Topper Thornton blush.

“Aww are you blushing?” you asked, placing your hand on his cheek and swiping over it with your thumb. He gulped.

“I think we should watch one of your stupid movies. I have snacks.”

“Are you sure?” you asked. “Because I don’t want to bore you.”

“A hundred per cent. The living room is right there, I’ll go get the snacks.”

You walked into the living room, picked up the remote and chose something to watch. You thought about what he would like as well. A few minutes passed and he became back with a bowl of popcorn and two beers. He handed one of them to you and sat down onto the couch, placing the bowl of popcorn between you two. You pressed ‘play’ on the remote.

Almost half of the movie was over when Topper took the bowl from between you and placed it onto the coffee table that was in front of you. Then, he scooted closer and placed his arm behind you on the couch. You took the hint and leaned into him, putting your hand on his chest.

“You know what, fuck this,” you finally said and swung your leg over his so you were now sitting on his lap. You placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. Topper was surprised at first but recollected himself quickly and started kissing you back. It became heated really quickly and you had to pull away to catch your breath.

“This was not what I was expecting to happen tonight but I can’t say I’m mad about it,” he say before pulling you into another kiss.

taglist: @www-imbored-com @delightfullynlove @tomhardybby @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @ilovejjmaybank @allycat449-blog @teenwaywardasgardian @copper-boom @canibeoneofthepogues @ifilwtmfc @bedazzledbanks @jeyramarie @themaddies-obx @pink-meringues @freddymaybank @moniamaybank​ @outerbankspreferences​ @j-j-may-bank @drewstarkeysbitchh

[cupcakesandtv]

do heroic sacrifice x coffee shop au lmfao

lmao you're gonna hate this don't even read it aby. I basically wrote a whole fic. Oops. Informally. the tenses are fucked in this lmao just enjoy it everyone else.

Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

So the thing is, we're gonna open with the heroic sacrifice.

Devi looks at her friends, she sees the gun come out, she doesn't hesitate, she steps in front of Eleanor and Fabiola and Paxton and even though Paxton tries to push her out of the way, Devi knew what was happening a half minute before he did so that's that. Shot to the heart. Lax gun laws and weird american gun obsession to blame.

But Devi wakes up. And it's morning. The sun is shining. Her room looks the same. But Paxton is next to her, she's the little spoon and his hand is grazing across the skin of her stomach absently. She must have survived? How did she survive that? How did Paxton get past her mom? Did he climb in the window again?

"Morning, sunshine," he says, his voice rough with sleep. "We are going to be late so don't even think about pressing your ass further into my dick."

"What?" Devi asks, shocked, twisting to look at Paxton's beard covered face. Wait. What? A beard?

Oh my god, it's a mirror mirror universe? No! But Devi catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and sees she's older. How very 13 going on 30.

Paxton drags her out of bed. Her house looks different but the same. He doesn't mention her mom or Kamala or Pati so Devi doesn't either. He rushes her out of the house and into the Jeep. That was still the same at least. He parks behind one of the buildings downtown, the cute, quaint ones that hipsters love. And she follows him into the back.

"We work at a cat cafe?!" she asks, shocked and excited, seeing the cats in their little kennels as Paxton opens the doors. "Are you gonna put the food in the bowls or what? You're weird this morning."

"I'm weird every morning, aren't I?" Devi plays it off and he seems to buy it. She leans down and pets a cat that’s circling her legs before she finds the food bin.

Paxton keeps walking and Devi hears a bell from the front.

“You know Devi, she can’t get out of bed to save her life,” she hears Paxton tell someone and then a loud machine whirs. A milk frother? An espresso machine? Devi isn’t sure because as far as she’s concerned, she finds coffee to be too coffee flavored.

The cat part of this cafe thing makes sense. Maybe that was the trade off? Paxton said coffee and Devi said cats and now they run a cat cafe? But wait. Wasn’t she dead? A flash of jumping in front of her friends, a scream in the distance, and then…

“Hey, you gonna take the deposit or should I?” Paxton poked his head into the back, picking up an all black short haired cat and giving it a kiss on the head before looking at Devi.

“To where?”

“The bank.” He put the cat down, walked two steps, and put his hand on her forehead. “Are you sick? Did Fab get you sick? That’s why she’s not here today. She’s sick.”

“Actually,” Devi started, serious. “I think I died, and this is...heaven maybe?”

Paxton snorted. “You gotta dream bigger for heaven, Vishwakumar.”

“Devi!” someone shouted from the front. “Devi! I need you to settle something for me!”

“Eleanor?” Devi asked as she came to the front. “Your hair looks so cool.”

Eleanor scrunched up her face. “You saw my hair yesterday?”

“Right,” Devi tried to recover. “Uh, I just mean the way you did it, in that messy bun, it’s very cool.” Eleanor brushed her pink bangs back and shrugged. “When you and Aneesa made up, sophomore year, did you tell her it was cool for her to date that worm, Ben Gross? Or did she just do it?” The bell rang as Trent came in the door, carrying an iPad and huffing. “Devi told her it was okay, I remember this. Just because it was 10 years ago doesn’t mean I don’t remember it.”

“Trent?” His hair was short. So far, this weird heaven had just aged all of her friends and given them different hair. “Why do you even need to know that?”

“It’s for my screenplay!” Trent exclaimed.

Eleanor and Paxton groaned, Devi was impressed. “That’s so cool. You’re writing a screenplay about high school?”

“I already told you this, you’re the villain!” He looked entirely too proud of himself.

“I’m the what?”

Paxton walked over to her, handing her a cup. “Drink your coffee and calm down.” “I don’t even like coffee,” Devi said, irritated. “This is definitely not heaven.”

“What?” Eleanor asked, confused.

“Devi’s having a morning,” Paxton filled in Eleanor, then turned back to Devi. “You like this. I make it for you and you like it.” She took a sip, begrudgingly. Mostly because who could tell hot, older Paxton, with a beard no? Not her. She didn’t have that kind of control.

“Oh, this is good,” Devi admitted.

“Yeah. I know. There’s barely any coffee in it.” Paxton shook his head and leaned in. She thought he was going to kiss her, she closed her eyes and everything, ready to feel that beard on her face. But he didn’t. At the last minute he reached behind her to grab a bottle of syrup.

“Wait, are you guys a thing again?” Trent asked, suspicious. “No,” Paxton said quickly and now Devi was offended. “You slept at my house last night! Oh my god, even as adults, you’re still embarrassed of me?!” Devi felt her temper simmer and her skin get hot. What kind of bullshit haven was this?

“What? No!” he argued, putting his hands up. “You told me you didn’t want to tell everybody because you thought it made you look flaky.” “Flaky? For dating you?”

“No, flaky for the off and on you keep pulling,” he explained. “I asked you to marry me last month and you turned me down. Did you forget when you laughed in my face?”

“Jesus, what is wrong with Tom Hanks me?” Devi grabbed her own boobs.

“What are you doing?” Eleanor asked.

“Tom Hanks you?” Trent asked.

“Okay, now I’m worried, are you concussed or something?” Paxton asked. “No, I’m not concussed. I died. I thought this was heaven. But actually it’s hell. I’m in hell.” Devi shook her head, but as she did, she felt the room tip.

“You look pale, Devi,” Eleanor cut in. “Catch her, Paxton, she’s gonna fall!”

She felt his arms around her and then there was nothing. Nothing at all. Except. Eleanor sobbing. And Paxton touching her face and her wrist, checking for her pulse maybe? Because she was dead, right? “God, I do not want to take you to the hospital again, they’ll think I’m the reason you keep ending up there,” she heard Paxton say.

She opened her eyes slowly and shut them immediately from the sun.

“Devi, it’s a paintball gun, not a real gun, you’re not even wearing any pads, why would you-” Fabiola was talking but Devi was trying to catch her breath.

“It just knocked the wind out of you,” Paxton said, softer, trying to calm her down. She squeezed his hand. “Just take a second.”

“I’m,” Devi coughed. “I’m alive.” “You were never in any real danger,” Fab added.

“I had the weirdest dream,” Devi started.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #396

“every time i leave, you say you won’t be there, & you’re always there”

So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say "jif," but now I pronounce it as "gif." If you use libraries, what is the largest overdue fine you’ve ever had? *shrug* Do you ever borrow things other than books from the library? I remember back in the day, they used to offer educational computer games, and I bought a dinosaur one as a kid that I was madly obsessed with. Are there still any movie rental places left where you live? Just Redbox things outside of some stores. Do you ever buy secondhand books (or DVDs, video games, CDs)? Yeah; Ebay is my friend. Or do you prefer them to be brand new? I mean yeah, but it's not a massive deal to me so long the thing is operational or not falling apart. Do you ever write fanfic? Of what? Nah. Do you ever READ fanfic? Of what? Also nah. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Have you ever had multicolored/rainbow hair? No, but I would LOVE to. What kind of hats, if any, do you like to wear? I don't wear hats. What is your #1 deal-breaker with friendships? If you're manipulative, byyyyyeeeee~ Who is your favorite character on Bob’s Burgers and why? (If you watch it) I've seen some episodes, but I don't actually watch it. Have you ever had a retro celebrity crush? Like a crush on an “old” celebrity who was most famous a long time ago or is long dead? Audrey Hepburn, for one, is drop-dead GORGEOUS. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? It depends on what I bought and where it's from. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? Idk. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? No; kids make their own choices. I do, however, believe the parents should monitor what they do until they reach a certain degree of maturity, as well as the child's history with what they've done on the Internet. Do you use acronyms to remember things? Sometimes. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? No. Only if I'm really in pain will I take Ibuprofen/Advil. Don’t you think Crocs are ugly? Big time. I don't know why they're in vogue now when they used to be so widely hated. When was the last time you went roller skating? Oh, it's been years. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I was never into the franchise. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? I prefer the ones that make you uneasy. I'm not a big fan of the nasty ones, and I want to feel on edge when I'm watching a horror film, but it's EXTREMELY rare I become legitimately scared. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? Uhhhh. Maybe genetic disorders. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? I'm sure it was something my niece or nephew said, but I'm unsure of what. They've said many adorable things. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? FUCKING KING RAMSES FROM COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG. FUCK he gave me nightmares. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? I was very saddened to hear about the giraffe that died giving birth. Do you believe that acupuncture works? I'm not educated enough on this subject. Have you ever been hypnotized? No, and I don't believe it's possible to be. What’s the first food you can smell when you enter the mall? The soft pretzels, omg. That little stand is my favorite part of our local mall. They make DELICIOUS pretzels. What is the worst hurt you’ve ever experienced? Jason leaving. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? Like serious body builders, it's gross to me. I prefer a natural musculature. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? I know I have, but what isn't coming to mind. Do you use an umbrella when it rains? Unless it is absolutely pouring, no. Do you like getting caught in the rain? No. What is the hardest part of cleaning for you? It requires physical exertion and I am INCREDIBLY weak with non-existent stamina. Do you have any fake flowers in your room? No. Do you own any succulents? No. What is your favorite thing about spring? The only thing I like about spring are all the flowers. What is something you find hard to draw? HANDS. UGH. Was it sunny for your senior prom pictures? Sigh. It was a beautiful sunset. I REALLY wish I didn't delete all those pictures from existence. Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I've seen like, a triple rainbow. What’s one thing you want to learn how to make? Your ordinary meals. I really want to be able to cook my own food from scratch. Do you have stomach issues? Maybe TMI, but it's been questioned but not fully examined that I may have IBS. My stomach is very sensitive. When was the last time you apologized and didn’t mean it? I'm not sure. Do you prefer to be the “talker” or the “listener” in a conversation? The listener. What’s a movie that you think everyone should see? Johnny Got His Gun. If you could have any hair color, what color would you want? Either pastel pink or light creamsicle orange. When was the last time you saw your “first love”? February of 2017. Who’s the smartest person you know personally? My best guy friend Girt. What makes them so smart? He's just very intelligent. Book-smart. Are there any bands/artists that get you all emotional? Ozzy. He and his music are so important to me. What’s your favourite aunt or uncle’s first name? Robert. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. What time do you generally wake up in the morning? It varies from like, 6:00-8:30ish. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Definitely shapeshifting. I'd love to be a druid, man. Do you ever make surveys? If so, are they long or short? No, but I combine them because I don't like surveys that are too short by my standards. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? Honestly, probably never. I love my current hairstyle, but I most certainly plan on dyeing it maaaany more times. As a child, what was your favorite game to play? I was hooked on the first three Spyro games. I would play 'em over and over. Do any of your siblings have significant others? Do you like them? My older sister is married, and I am NOT a fan of her husband. He's WAY too conservative and bigoted and racist and misogynistic, etc. etc. He's wonderful as a dad, like holy shit he loves his kids, but his beliefs are abhorrent. Dad's daughter is also married, and her husband is awesome. Mom's eldest daughter is also married, and her husband seems cool. My brother has a fiancee that I've never met. Do you believe in the concept of global warming? No fucking shit I do. It's impossible to logically deny, especially as the years go on. When was the last time you took a picture of something? Was it yourself? I took some pictures of this beautiful hydrangea bush outside the TMS office a few days ago. When drinking soda, do you prefer bottles or cans or poured in a glass? Cans, because it stays colder. Do you wear deodorant? Um, yes? If you had a pet pig, what would you name it? Probably something very unoriginal, like Wilbur. Do you like Led Zeppelin? I LOVE "Kashmir." "Stairway to Heaven" was madly important to me, but yeah... I can't listen to it anymore. Like seriously, I haven't in years. Do you like hugs? I do. Have you read the Constitution of the United States of America? Only the Bill of Rights for school. Do you have your own computer or use a family one? I have my own laptop. Do you take out the trash? Sometimes. Is there a calendar in the room you’re in? Outdated meerkat ones. What is your best friend’s name? Sara Jane. :') Have you ever seen a real-life cop chase? Maybe? What is your favorite shape? Circles. Are pigs adorable or dirty? They're precious! And pigs are actually a lot cleaner than people think, if they're not muddy. Anything moldy in your house? Not to my knowledge. Our old house had a serious mold problem, though, which is the primary reason we had to move. Especially with Mom having cancer at the time, she needed to be in the most sterile environment possible. Have you ever been in an earthquake? No. Do you enjoy history? No. Are you watching TV right now? No, but rather GameGrumps on YT. Could you ever be a mortician? True shit, it actually doesn't seem THAT bad. Can you solve a Rubik’s cube? Never seriously tried. How many pets do you have? Just two right now. Are you more close with your mom or dad? My mom. Who is the person that has impacted your life the most? Jason. Or Mom. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yeah. Poor things, they had terrible husbandry. I've learned a hell of a lot from a YouTuber/streamer that is like obsessed with fish about just how misinformed people are on how to take care of various fish. Your goldfish in that little bowl died for a reason, you know. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you prefer tea or coffee? Both suck. Have you ever vaped? No. How did your parents meet? They were co-workers. What was your first word? "Dada." Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? ... I mighta lmao. When was the last time you had Nutella? A long time ago. It reeeeaaaally needs to stay out of my house, because I will eat it straight out of the jar. Name someone with a sexy sounding voice. So I don't know where this was, but Mark was once credited in something as "if chocolate had a voice" and I was like YOU FUCKIN BET YOUR SWEET ASS.

[teenagebeautyqueen]

[Image description: a young person holds a mobile phone with a blue case and a paper on the other. the paper has a drawing of an umbrella colored with the trans pride flag. we can only see their upper body. they are looking down and to the left of the image. they're smiling without showing their teeth, and look relaxed. they're wearing a black, loose hoodie and some shorts can be seen at the bottom of the picture. they're also using black nail polish. on the background there is a door and a star wars poster. the other image is a close up of the paper. end ID]

🌈ʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ🌈

happy trans day of visability to all my fellow trans*!! here is me and my project for peace's day... i personally love it. it's on spanish, but i'll translate it for y'all.

the text on the left says "cada persona que conoces está luchando una batalla de la que no sabes nada. sé amable. siempre", which is the translation of that quote that goes like "every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always".

the one on the right says "¿qué sentido hay en pelear? ¿por qué insistimos en sabotearnos mutuamente? Todos caminamos por el mismo sendero embarrado, todos nos dirigimos al mismo final." its translation is something like "what's the point on fighting? why do we insist on sabotage each other? we all walk the same muddy path, we are all headed for the same end."

and above the umbrella there's words like "odio", "acoso", "ignorancia" & "discriminación", which mean "hatred", "harassment", "ignorance", and "discrimination".

yeah i'm very subtle.

i've decided to share my story with the world. but i got kinda carried away. it's not s fairy tale, so don't read it if you're sensitive to themes like bullying, mental health issues, and toxic people.

——————————————————————

it's been... one ride of a journey, to say the least. i've said a few times that i started to question my gender around summer. but that's not quite true.

growing up, i never was fond of... anything that i associated with femenine, really. this included, but wasn't limited to, any color that wasn't blue (pink and purple get a special mention, i despised them), flowers, clothes too loose or too tight, shorts if they weren't from some sport, etc. i think you get the idea.

this collided with me being afab (aka a girl for everyone including myself) & neurodivergent. i wanted nothing to do with those things. but society wanted me to love them.

5 yo me said she didn't like Monster High. 5 yo female classmate said i was a weirdo. 7 yo me loved football. 7 yo male classmate said i couldn't play because i was a girl. 9 yo me hyperfixated on minecraft. 9 yo pretty much every classmate called me a geek.

so i stoped trying. for a while, i loved pink, wanted to have rapunzel's hair, watched disney channel, etc. but i already was the weirdo. i remember being three and friends with all of them. i remember playful fights for the toy rocket and reading books with the only other boy who could read, to ourselves, each other, and the whole class. but people grow up, and they change. so yeah, i was bullied. always the last one to be chosen, left alone on the bus rides, on my own at the playground.

and you'll be thinking "that sucks, but pao, how is it related to you being trans?"

you'll see, i didn't have many friends. i was kinda alone until i turned 7. then two new kids came to my class. let's call them eva and john. i made friends with them asap. i loved them so much!! they were my first friends since kindergarden. so i allowed myself to let go. i was already hated by most of my peers. why wouldn't i be myself with those who didn't despise me? (i was 7 when i thought this. 7 years old, and i thought that out of 20 people, 18 hated me. and then people wonder why i've got self-steem issues lmao. i'm tryna make the point that bullying in primary school isn't just some mean kids calling you names. i'm currently in high school and it still has its mark on me. but that's for another moment.)

so yeah. i went "wild". eva has adhd too (noice, right? i mean she has her diagnosis becaise she's primarly hyperactive, while i'm primarly inattentive, but we understood each other way quickier than with neurotypicals– even if i didn't know why yet), and john was kinda shy & corpulent (he wasn't fat, but he didn't look slim either), just like me. so we became friends. and i slowly opened up a little, while still playing my role of "the freak kid". i knew i was seen as that AND as the smart kid. double pressure, double bullying. but i had my small circle. it evolved until my current friend group, in which, god bless, there's a trans girl!! (eva's still on it– she's my best friend and i would die for her, no doubts. john can go fuck himself, the goddamned fascist).

but it ain't that easy. it never is. i'm 14 and afab. shit happens. y'all get it.

my first period happened while i was on a school trip (bad), on a hotel with no pads avaliable (very bad), on another country so i couldn't call my mum unless i had wifi because politics & stuff– and i did not have wifi (really bad). cue a lot of dysphoria (even if i didn't know it was that) + not being able to contact anyone. add the fact that i was the second one to have it, and it was some kind of taboo– it meant the other girls wouldn't leave me alone, and the result is clear: one of my worst panic attacks ever, on a tiny bathroom of some shitty hotel room.

from there it went downhill. my body started to become femenine, and the football short didn't make my hips smaller. my face, my oh so alarged face, suddenly became rounder. puberty hit me not only physically, but emotionally. and if that wasn't enough, we, as a class, were entering what's called here "the turkey age", a.k.a. teenagerhood, where looks become even more important. it didn't take long until i hated my body.

[WARNING: from here, this gets hard. mentions of eating disorders, depressive episodes/thoughts, toxic enviroments, homophobia/transphobia (both internalized and external), anxiety attacks, and thoughts of self-harm]

i thought "it's big, it shouldn't be big, it's fat. besides i don't want it to grow so fast. i want to make it stop growing. how? well, i grow up by eating. no eating=no growing".

yeah. eating disorder. when i think about it, i want to laugh. because it only took a few comments and "jokes" for me to be so angry at myself when i should be mad with them. i'm big. always have been, very likely always will. i've been told that i could make a very good rugby player. i probably would. i shared my cantine table with people (😔). and they wouldn't shut up. "[deadname], the rest wants to eat too!", "look at [deadname], she's gonna eat it all!". things like that. i stoped eating. i would pick up the smallest amount of food i could, even if my stomach was begging me to please eat something. eventually, my mum found out. and she helped me to grow out of it. i sometimes releapse, but never for that long. because i went on a whole year like that. and it sucked.

so, last year. socially anxious neurodivergent girl with several doubts on her sexuality gets to eight grade.

i play basketball. since i was little. i used to enjoy it a lot. we weren't a team– we were a family. loved 'em so much, 1000/10 one of the best things of my life. BOOM. now you're old enough & good enough to be on the "good" team. in the good time there's the cool kids. i am not a cool kid. oops. i was left behind, they all laughed at my back, no one cared about me (except one girl, but she was in the group and was scared to act until almost the end of the year. love her for that tho). i felt like shit. i was too scared to go to train. the sight of a ball scared me, because i couldn't help but think everyone was talking shit about me. we went to a national championship and when they went out to the city, they didn't tell me, then sent a pic of them having fun to the groupchat & delated it saying "oops it was for the other group". i had several breakdowns on my room that night. it was such a bad experience i can't even hear the name of the city without tearing up.

not to count that a new girl decided to make my life a living hell. now i know how to deal with her, but then i didn't, and i ended up curled up on the bathroom floor crying.

all while i discovered my own identity. i was so scared of being non-straight i hated myself for it.

it was a tough year and there were times where i would wish i'd never existed. it was too much for me to deal with, and i was just miserable. but i got out of it. remember the trans girl i mentioned? she's closeted, and she told me just this october. but even before that, she was my friend. she bought a new life to it all, a fresh one. i owe her a lot, including accepting myself as i am.

she is here, despite everything.

i am here, despite everything.

you are all here, despite everything.

some of us aren't here. they are the ones we remember. each one of us has our history. i shared mine with you all. it is not an easy road. you know that. it's hard, and it's tough, and it's difficult, and it's unfair.

but we are here, despite everything. the ones who made it, the ones who didn't, the ones who are halfway through it, and the ones who are to come.

we are here. we are trans. and we won't be erased.

[itsmyusualphannie]

something wrong in the village

Chapter 3/5: leviticus Beta: @candanandphilnot Rating: T Warnings: Transphobia Read on ao3

Summary: Fiona Lester has a secret. Dan Howell thinks they hate each other. Dan meets an online friend and comes to realize something important about himself while juggling a changing relationship with his parents, friends, and Fiona.

~~~ previous chapter ~~~ next chapter ~~~

"Daniel!" bellowed Dan's mum, the morning after the end of the festival and, really, too early for anyone to be speaking. "Ten minutes, let's go!"

He didn't move from his slumped position before his laptop, fingers rapid over his keyboard as he thudded out replies on the chat feature in the 'FRIENDS' website. He had made two other matches in the past week, but had ignored them both and hadn't been bothered when he didn't receive a message either. Dan didn't think anyone could measure up to his current conversational partner.

No it's definitely a sock monster! read Phil's most recent insistent message.

you just don't want to admit that you lose your socks, tapped Dan immediately. His fingers hovered impatiently as he waited for a reply, which took less than ten seconds to pop up.

listen, the message read, and Dan could almost hear a stern, disembodied voice informing him of this, my mismatched socks are an aesthetic choice. No judging!

i'm judging, Dan replied. He wasn't particularly judging, really, but it was so fun to rile up Phil - and so easy, too. Dan lost his socks too, just not as often as Phil apparently did. Evidently, it was almost a daily occurrence with him.

A brief, intrusive thought informed Dan that he knew people in real life who lost socks, too. At the festival yesterday, Fiona had been wearing sneakers with brightly patterned mismatched socks. Not that he had been looking at her feet. That would be weird.

:(  was his reply from Phil. There was a pause, and then another message popped up.

come on, you have to have weird habits too. not that wearing different socks is WEIRD. haha. tell me your secrets

Dan snorted hard through his nose, and regretted it when it stung. He swiped at the burn and then typed out, i have no secreets? I am the most well behaved guy you'll ever meet. The instant the message sent, his fingers spasmed with the sudden desire to take it back. Because, you'll ever meet was an accident. Dan had known Phil for three weeks, and he certainly felt like he knew the other boy far better than any of his other friends, but something squirmed inside Dan whenever he entertained the idea of meeting this faceless friend. What if Phil was just some old fifty-year-old woman getting her kicks by chatting with a teenager?

Well, Dan doubted that. Phil's knowledge of TV shows and video games was perfectly age-appropriate for a 17-year-old boy. According to the website, he lived within 50 miles of Dan as well, so there was still that tiny chance that Phil even went to the same school as Dan.

Dan, maybe, had thought about that, and had wracked his memory for any 'Phil's at his school, but had come up with nothing. It had been a far stretch, anyway. There was just that small part of Dan that desperately wished for an actual, real-life friend that he could talk to, and share inside jokes with, and laugh about ridiculous jokes, and play video games, and watch movies. He did that with his group of friends, sometimes, but it wasn't like Dan had always thought about when he imagined having a best friend.

That's what he wanted, really. A best friend. And wasn't that who Phil was shaping up to be? They already got along so well...but that could change if Phil actually met Dan. He might realize then, that Dan was the weird, friendless type of loser that actually signed up for a friend-matching website. Well, Phil had done that, too. Dan had a feeling that it was more because Phil was bored, though, and not for any ironic sort of reason.

"Dan, I swear to god!"

The yell from his mum broke Dan from his thoughts, and he jolted his concentration back to his laptop, where two messages were waiting from Phil.

no secrets, sure, read the first message, and then, i still don't know your name lmao.

Yeah, Dan realized. He'd typed 'Bear' as his username those few weeks ago. Phil clearly knew that it wasn't his actual name. Phil didn't know that it was a cheesy nickname his parents used to call him. Potential best mates had to know real names though, right?

With that hesitant thought encroaching upon him, Dan quickly hit out an answer and then sent it. He scrambled to his feet, grabbing his backpack and shoes, and left to grab breakfast and head to school. The laptop, left open in his haste, still revealed the last message he had sent.

my name's dan

~~~

Dan hadn’t seen Fiona all day.

It’s not that he was looking for her. Dan had no reason, none at all, to actively search her out. He wasn’t interested in what she was doing. Well, he amended to himself, it was good to keep tabs on his mortal enemy. So perhaps it was a bit concerning that he hadn’t seen her all day.

It wasn’t that unusual. They only had two classes together, both of which were on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Today was only Monday, so it wasn’t impossible that Dan would not catch sight of Fiona the entire school day. It was just...it was Monday, and she had been acting strangely at the festival yesterday, and it was probably because of Dan’s lingering headache that thumped in quiet tune to the drums from the Muse concert, but he almost wanted to seek her out.

It was foolish, of course. One shared moment at a music festival, still riddled with insults and clear distaste for each other, was nothing that could erase the years of mutual spite for each other. It was just odd. Dan may have been just a bit intrigued to find out why she had been acting the way she was. Just a bit, though.

“Danny boy!” bellowed a voice down the hallway. It was milling with students slowly collecting their day’s items from their lockers as they chatted. Dan himself was standing in front of his open locker, staring bleakly inside as he pondered the Fiona conundrum. He let his gaze drift slowly toward the mutilated call of his name, eyes bleak. He knew who it was.

The boy jogged up to him a moment later, a grin spread wide on his face. “Mate,” he said, “you gotta come fuckin’ see this.”

Dan didn’t particularly want to come fucking see anything, but he reluctantly shut the door to his locker and followed his friend anyway. ‘Friend’ was a loose definition of their relationship, but Dan didn’t have anyone much closer than his small horde of acquaintances, so he took what he could. This boy just rubbed Dan the wrong way sometimes. He was Australian, which wouldn’t mean much other than the twang of his accent, but he also liked to loudly introduce himself as ‘Sam the surfer!’ to everyone he met as if the fact that he could belly flop on a piece of styrofoam in water had earned him some sort of official title. As he couldn’t exactly ride any waves around town, he rode wheels instead, throwing himself with fervour down pavements and the occasional hallway on his favourite skateboard. He’d been adopted into Dan’s friend group when he’d almost run over Dr Pentland. That, at least, Dan could admit was funny. He’d seen the principal’s shocked face as she’d reeled backwards from the boy zipping past. Although it had morphed into irritation a moment later, the look had been priceless. Dan had snapped a picture of it. That single photo had earned his place in the friend group as well.

“You’re gonna love it,” Sam assured Dan as he trotted down the hall, waving Dan on impatiently. “The rest of the boys are already there. It’s bril.”

Dan hefted his backpack further up his shoulder and followed. Sam ducked around the corner and then into the bathroom. A girl squeezed past Dan to make her way into the bathroom as well, so Dan paused for a moment to let her through.

The school was definitely saving money on this bathroom. They’d slapped a unisex sign on it last year and shut down the other bathroom, claiming diversity for all genders. While Dan thought it was a great idea, he also thought it was bullshit. They could have very well made both bathrooms unisex, but had downsized instead. Now students were more cramped and the bathroom smelled even more like piss than usual.

“Oh, here,” said Sam as soon as Dan ducked into the bathroom, the door swinging shut behind him. He thrust a slender object into Dan’s hand, then turned back toward the group of boys huddled around the corner of the room next to the line of sinks. Another boy was washing his hands next to them, but he just cast a curious glance over at the crowded corner and then left. The girl who Dan had followed inside slipped into a stall, the door creaking ominously as she latched it shut.

Dan only realized that the object in his hands was an uncapped marker when he made his way over to the corner and glanced over the shoulders of his friends. They were talking amongst themselves, but quietly and full of mirth.

“Hey, Danny boy, gimme a hand,” one of the boys called over his shoulder, and a few stepped aside for Dan to step through. He did so, but almost reluctantly.

It was then that he found what they were so focused on. Someone, certainly not one of the boys here now, had drawn a delicate, flowing transgender pride flag. The pink and blue colours were bold and bright, striking against the faded grey chalk tiles.

The boys, uncapped markers obvious in their hands, had drawn crude depictions of genitalia and scrawled slurs around it, but the largest defiant symbol was a massive circle drawn around the stolid flag and a slash drawn across that, clearly defining the group’s feelings about the matter.

“Bril, innit?” Sam chirped.

Dan’s throat hurt suddenly, for some reason he couldn’t identify. His headache, just background noise all day, came to the front of his brain with full force. He didn’t say anything.

“Come on, you’re an artist, right?” urged the boy in front. “I figured you’d have something great to draw. Like tits or summat, I dunno.”

Dan’s limbs were lead weights at his side, his tongue thick and useless in his mouth. He couldn’t - wouldn’t do anything.

The latches to one of the stalls on the far side of the bathroom clicked, and like an encroaching train wreck, Dan’s gaze followed the noise. The door swung open and out stepped Fiona, hair loose and swinging around her shoulders as she did up her trousers. She glanced his way, clear blue gaze meeting his, and wrinkles sank deep around her eyes as she smiled deeply at him.

It was terrible. It was beautiful. It was nothing Dan had ever seen directed at him.

“Hey, Dan,” she greeted. His mind sank like a stone, diving deep into murky waters. He had no idea what was going on. He couldn’t even say “Hey” back to her.

Fiona didn’t seem to care, crossing the room in a few steps to thrust her hands under the tap and briefly scrub them. Dan felt a horrific rush of relief when she looked away from him. “Whatcha doin’?” she asked over her shoulder, reaching for the paper towel dispenser. It whirred, spitting out a short, ineffectual leaflet that she used to swipe at her fingers.

Dan did not reply, but Fiona didn’t seem to notice. She sidled up behind the group of boys, most of whom were utterly ignoring her presence, and simply peered over their shoulders to see what was drawing their undivided attention. Her height was more than an advantage here.

“Ah.”

Dan could only watch helplessly as her expression slipped from something beyond open, the first time Dan had ever seen such a light in her eyes, to a look that Dan could never hope to decipher. He had never seen this new expression on her face either, but it was so much worse than the previous. Her gaze turned back to him, searching his face for a moment, and then it fell to the marker still clenched unfeelingly in his hands. When she looked back into Dan’s eyes, it was with a level, clear stare of pure disdain.

“Right. Hope you have fun, then.” She turned on her heel and left, tossing the wadded paper towel in her hand at the trash bin by the door. It arched through the air and bounced off the rim, landing on the scuffed floor without a sound, but Fiona didn’t stop to pick it up, and she didn’t glance back at Dan once.

Dan had been motionless throughout this entire process, but it was now that he could feel the bile churning in his guts. His mouth reflected it, tasting bitter as he swallowed thickly. Some distant part of him acknowledged his own actions and repressed emotions with a mocking laugh. He didn't know if it was worse or better that he hadn’t said a word through this entire encounter.

“Come on, Dan,” pressed Sam, brilliantly oblivious.

Dan dropped the uncapped marker in his hand. It landed unevenly and skidded across the floor, rolling to a stop against the bottom of the mutilated wall.

“I have to go,” was all Dan could manage.

He left.

~~~

Dan drank three full glasses of water, one after the other, as soon as he arrived home, but the dry taste in his mouth and the nausea brewing in his stomach didn’t go away. The glass clinked dully against another cup as he set it into the sink, bracing himself against the counter with both palms pressed flat against the marble. He didn’t want to understand why he felt this way, but he did. He understood too well.

This was the same all-encompassing self-disgust and hatred that had rushed over him the first time he’d heard the word ‘gay’ and realized it might apply to him. Now it was the other way around, though. That tiny symbol of pride, so stout and enduring in the “progressive” unisex bathroom, now stamped out so cruelly by the whims of sixteen- and seventeen-year-old boys who thought nothing of mocking the acknowledgement of someone’s identity. It didn’t mean anything to them. It meant everything to someone, maybe more than just one someone, in that school. And Dan hadn’t done anything to stop it.

The look on Fiona’s face had somehow made it worse. As if she, Dan’s self-proclaimed mortal enemy, had somehow seen something so disgusting in Dan that she wouldn’t even bother to fight back against him. She’d left. She’d given up.

She’d never, not once since Dan had known her, done that before.

“Hey, Dan!” called a voice from the living room. Dan had gone through the side door of the house when he’d gotten home, so he jumped as he realized his dad had been here the entire time.

He didn’t move from the counter. “Yeah?” he called back, almost reluctant. He didn’t want to move, a deep part of him wanting to just lie down for a while and not think about anything.

“Come here for a sec?”

Dan sighed and dragged his hands from the counter. The marble had been cold against his palms, almost grounding, and the warm air felt sticky against them now. He trudged to the doorway between the living room and the kitchen and leaned against it. His dad was sitting on the couch in front of the television set, a binder and various envelopes spread on the cushions around him and the coffee table before him. “Yeah?”

His dad spared him a quick glance, but then went back to frowning at the stack of paper he held in one hand. “You, uh…ah! Right. We’re going to a wedding next Sunday, don’t forget.”

“A wedding?” Dan repeated dumbly.

“Yeah, my work buddy is getting married - finally - and he invited all of us. Do you have a suit to wear? It’s a semi-formal event.”

Dan just shrugged. “Guess so.” He paused, still feeling that churning deep in his stomach. “Do I have to go?”

“Yes,” his dad said firmly. “We’re all going.”

“Fine.” It wasn’t as if Dan had any plans for that weekend anyway, other than playing video games until past midnight. “What time is it?”

Papers rustled loudly as his dad gave up on sorting them and crammed them into an orange folder. “Uh…” he said. “It’s...one. In the afternoon. Yeah.” He glanced up, then, and something in Dan’s posture must have given away how he was feeling, since his face collapsed into concern. “Are you okay, Dan?”

“I’m fine,” Dan said instinctively.

He looked dubious. “Here,” he said, and shoved a few envelopes to clear the seat beside him, then patted it. “Sit down, come on.”

Dan did not want to sit, but he did so anyway. He had to fish out a crumpled paper from between the couch cushions after he sat down, and he took his time smoothing it out so he could avoid the deep gaze of his dad.

“So,” his dad finally said. “How’s school going?”

“It’s fine,” Dan muttered. The paper was cool against his fingers, but not as much as the marble countertop had been. The faint scrape of the paper edge as he slowly dragged his fingertips over them was soothing.

“Making any new friends?” his dad joked.

The paper dug in a little too deeply, threatening a papercut, so Dan pulled it away. “Losing some, maybe,” he said under his breath.

His dad’s ears were too sharp. “Ah,” he said. “Having some disagreements?”

“You could say that.” Dan’s eyes stung, suddenly, and he blinked harshly. His nose burned with the effort to hold back his emotions. “Do you - ” he started, and then had to breathe heavily through his mouth before continuing. “Do you ever feel like you did something wrong by not doing anything?”

There was no answer for a moment, but then his dad said slowly, “...Yeah, I have. Kind of recently, in fact. Why do you ask?”

Dan shrugged in response. His myriad of whirling thoughts and the sizeable lump dwelling in his throat wouldn’t allow him to say anything out loud, so he just folded the paper in his hands until it was a tiny square. He almost jumped when his dad placed a hand over his knee.

“I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about something,” he said, voice soft, and Dan wanted to hurl himself away from it. The nausea was coiling its way deeper into the pit of his stomach and he almost felt light-headed, even though he was sitting. There was something important about the tone of his dad’s voice just now. Something that Dan didn’t want to have to answer.

“You know I love you, right? No matter what. You’re my son.”

Dan just nodded. The corners of his eyes burned.

His dad’s grip tightened on his knee, and then, in an almost forced casual tone, he asked, “So, have your eye on any pretty schoolmates?”

Dan’s gaze snapped up to his dad’s, almost defensively, but the returning expression was nothing less than understanding.

“Any girls?” his dad clarified, and then, after a dragging pause, added, “...or boys?”

Something crumpled inside Dan.

His dad must have seen it, since he hastily said, “You don’t have to tell me! I know what it’s like being a boy your age, it’s just that you never talk about girlfriends or, or boyfriends at all. Or bring anyone round.” He tugged the folded paper from Dan’s punishing grip and opened it, smiling down at the creases. “I just started thinking about it because of the wedding, you know? My coworker is marrying his boyfriend - took him long enough to propose, yeah? - but I told him congratulations the other day and that’s when...well, it’s when I realized I’ve never said anything like that to you. We never really talked about that. And I just want you to know that...it’s okay. Whoever you love, I’ll love. Well, sort of, I mean, I still have to be your dad and threaten your dates, but I - ”

Dan threw himself abruptly at his dad and was caught immediately, although he was clearly startled. Dan wrapped his arms around his dad and buried his face in his neck, feeling the dampness from his closed eyes making their way to the collar of his dad’s shirt. He’d never heard his dad say so much at one time. It hurt, but like the cleanest of cuts, and in the best of ways.

“I love you,” Dan heard himself say, and felt his dad’s laughter through his chest rumbling against him.

“Love you too, kiddo,” he said.

Dan withdrew after a moment longer, swiping ineffectually at his eyes. “I have to...homework,” he said desperately.

“All right,” said his dad, and it was so gentle that Dan wanted to curl up right there, head on his dad’s knees, and have a sob like he was five years old again. Instead, he scrambled to his feet.

“Thanks,” he choked out, and then he headed to his room.

~~~

The laptop was still open from that morning. The screen was dark as Dan dropped into his chair before it. It was hard to believe that a little over three weeks ago, he had changed his life, just a little, for the better when he'd signed up for this cheesy location-based friendship website. He and Phil had talked about nothing but the most casual of conversations, barely touching upon subjects that could be considered thought-provoking in any way.

Dan swiped his fingers across the mouse trackpad, lighting up the laptop screen, and he entered his password. The website and chat screen were still open from that morning, revealing his last message that had given his real name to Phil.

There was a single new message from Phil, timestamped that morning. hi Dan!

Dan's eyes burned, but he had barely just regained his composure from the encounter with his dad. He swiped at the threatening tears, taking a heaving breath that did little to settle his nerves. Maybe it was his message this morning before school, maybe it was what had happened at school, or maybe it was what his dad had just told him. Either way, something inside Dan yearned to be let out. To be known.

Despite his longing, his fingers still hovered hesitantly above the keyboard. He wanted to overthink it, but he knew that if he did, he would never send any sort of message.

hey, he finally sent, a terrible opener. He added, you up?

It was four in the afternoon. Of course Phil was up. This knowledge didn’t settle the anxiety twisting inside Dan.

A reply did not immediately pop up, so Dan switched tabs to Tumblr and scrolled for a few minutes. His computer pinged, then, and he flew back to the website so quickly that he almost closed out his browser on accident.

Yeah. Phil’s reply was almost lacklustre, a far cry from the enthusiasm usually conveyed in his previous messages. Maybe he’d had a bad day, too.

i have a weird question, Dan typed, and he worried his lip between his teeth before adding, you don’t have to answer.

sure.

you...like guys, right?

There wasn’t even a moment of hesitation. Yep.

It couldn’t be so easy. 

...Couldn't it?

Dan's fingers moved without his permission, daring to test the idea. He forced himself to stop after only one sentence, gaze burning into the screen like he could set the computer on fire and escape from this. The letters stared coolly back, almost appearing emotionless on the screen, but Dan felt that, somehow, Phil would understand the turmoil behind them. It was something he'd never said out loud before, much less typed out in a way that could be held accountable against him.

i think...i do too.

~~~ previous chapter ~~~ next chapter ~~~

[ilikemypancakesfresh]

JUST BAKUSQUAD THINGS 101 ❤

* A thousand miles piano music plays in bg*

[ BAKUSQUAD: BAKUGOU, KIRISHIMA, SERO, KAMINARI AND MINA ]

When Bakugou gets mad at us for being too noisy when we're all gathered in one room ♡

Bakugou: "I'm going to fucking buy food and DONT YOU FUCKING DARE STOP STUDYING YOU GOT THAT YOU FUCKSTICKS!?"

Us: "GOT IT!"

* 5 mins later *

Bakugou: "Alright dumbasses I bought-"

📱🔊: How to ask rats to mate by making rat mating calls at them | step by step tutorial on how to make rat mating noises | 7 hours serious and complex technique

Kaminari: "Oh hey Bakugou! Do you think this video will work on the principal??"

Bakugou: * S H O U T S *

When Kaminari does weird shit and Bakugou gets mad ♡

When Kirishima spilled red hair dye all over Bakugou's dorm bed without Bakugou knowing but in the end we all blamed it on the contraction of atoms but Bakugou wasn't that stupid so he still got mad at us ♡

When Sero replaced all of Bakugou's spicy oreos with toothpaste and Bakugou gets mad ♡

When Mina texted us that she needed important backup in the middle of the night only to know that she needed 3 people to bring her makeup bags to prank Bakugou ♡

Bakugou full on fake eyelashes, winged eyeliner, pink blush, colorful eyeshadow, overlined big red lips, sharp contour, Blinding highlighter and drawn in eyebrows ♡

That was the pretties he's ever looked despite having that ugly look when he's asleep ♡

He woke up the next morning to take coffee downstairs and everyone laughed ♡

He killed us ♡

All 5 of us arrived 1 hour late to school in the end ♡

Getting Bakugou a real life sized full body pillow of all might ♡

He actually uses it ♡

Watching vines together ♡

Making tik toks together ♡

Laughing together ♡

LAUGHING AT BAKUGOU TOGETHER ♡

Taking selfies with Bakugou's mad face ♡

Bakugou leaving the group chat because we made his face the pfp ♡

despite us being annoying Bakugou still wants to hang around us ♡

He feeds us ♡

Bakugou acting like a mad and stressed out mother with 4 children ♡

Playing the dick game where we randomly shout "DICK" in public ♡

One time we all were teasing Bakugou about how he was such a pussy for not playing and he ended up shouting dick so loud this one lady fainted ♡

When Bakugou actually helps us with homework and studying for tests ♡

We all fail except for Bakugou ♡

Slacking off on homework ♡

Kaminari and Mina connect their phones to 2 of Bakugou's bluetooth speakers and watching dank memes on full volume ♡

Bakugou breaking his doors from the outside because we were being too noisy inside his room ♡

Almost catching Bakugou's dorm on fire when we were lighting a candle ♡

Sero: * S C R E A M S *

*Bakugou running back into his dorm room*

*BREAKS DOOR*

Bakugou: "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED ARE YOU FUCKS OKA-

Sero: "KAMINARI GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY FACE"

Kaminari: "IT'S NOT LIKE IM DOING THIS ON PURPOSE"

Kirishima: "This is a manly game!"

Mina: "ALRIGHT NOW KIRISHIMA PUT YOUR LEFT ASSCHEEK ON THE BLUE CIRCLE!"

Kaminari: "OH HEY BAKUGOU WE'RE PLAYING TWISTER WANNA JOIN?"

Bakugou: "I TOLD ALL OF YOU CUNTS I WAS GOING OUT TO BUY FUCKING GROCERIES AND I TOLD YOU ALL TO CLEAN UP DAMN ROOM THAT YOU SHITHEADS FUCKED UP AND NOW YOU'RE PLAYING TWISTER?"

♡

Finishing all of Bakugou's snacks ♡

Our job is to annoy Bakugou ♡

Mina and Kaminari buying a shit ton of candy for us to eat ♡

Constantly dabbing, whipping, fortnite dancing, T posing, and singing happy birthday to Bakugou even when it's not his birthday ♡

Our secret handshake ♡

Kaminari buying a pet cockroach and naming it Ostrich ♡

Riding carts at the grocery store together ♡

Sero shouting random shit around the dorms ♡

Pranking Bakugou by wrapping all of his furniture in Sero's tape ♡

making-

"For how much longer are all you fuckers making this list for?" - Bakugou

"BUT BAKUGOU THIS IS IMPORTANT!! ALL OF OUR MEMORIES TOGETHER WE'LL PUT IT ALL IN THIS ONE BOOK!!" - Kirishima

"Yeah I don't want to forget all of these moments we have with you!" - Mina

"All of this was so fun and it all went by so fast..." -Sero

" 3 more days until we finally graduate UA huh?" - Kaminari

" It's really been a long ride... " -Sero

" An enjoyable one too!" -Mina

"I loved all of the moments I have with you guys... even the moments when we were having fun and Bakugou getting mad at us!" -Kirishima

"Man.. I miss being 15 all of the sudden.." -Kaminari

"Lmao i remember the days where everyone would see us walk together in the hallways and whisper to each other 'oH iTs tHE bAkUsqUad!' man... I'll really miss it" -Mina

"We had so many memories together I can't even remember all of those stupid things we did with each other and to each other" -Sero

"Lucky us that we wrote all of the memories of class 1-A huh?" -Kaminari

"Yeah! Oh and i still remember that time me and Sero bought those matching hot dog suits for halloween!" - Mina

"3 more days. 3 more days until we're all grown ups." - Kirishima

"Class 1-A was the sickest class I've ever been to! Man we even got to fight real villains that time! It was so cool!" - Kaminari

"HAHA I REMEMBER BAKUGOU GETTING MAD AT MIDORIYA FOR THE LITTLEST THINGS" - Sero

"OMG REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN BAKUGOU GOT MAD AT MIDORIYA FOR BREATHING?" - Mina

"SHUT UP YOU PILE OF SHITS." -bakugou

"I really can't believe we're gonna graduate in 3 more days and then we're off as solo heroes.." -Kirishima

"... who the fuck said we have to be solo heroes?" -Bakugou

" This isn't the end of our journey. We still got more shit to do. " - Bakugou

" Shit that we all haven't done. Shit that I'd like to do with all of you fuckers. Even if you're all annoying." -Bakugou

" Now hurry up and give me a turn to write in that book! I remember a whole lot of shit that you assholes did to me!" -Bakugou

"All of us always did have a special connection with each other. Bakugou is always mad but that doesn't mean he hates us. These 3 years in UA have made me stronger. Manlier. I'm glad to have met you all!" - Signed by Kirishima Eijirou, 17, doesn't know how to read

"Writing this note in this very book from when we first started our journey together back in class 1A makes me emotional. Like- really really emotional. I'm actually sobbing lol. I love all of you guys so much. I'm so happy that we'll still be a squad even after graduation!" Signed by Mina Ashido, 17, still gets called racoon eyes by Bakugou

"Soy souce face. That's my name B). I'm very happy that i could meet such fun people that gets my sense of humor like you guys. I always thought hero schools would have such boring students. But then, I met the 4 of you. Memelords and viners. I can't thank you all enough" - Signed by Sero Hanta, 17, still gets nightmares of Bakugou in midnight's her outfit

"aAYYyyYyY! Really the best 3 years of my entire life! 1-A was the sick class where all of us first met. I remember joking with all of you and how much stomachaces i had from laughing. And i remember all of our vlogs we upload on HeroTube too. WE ARE ALL COOL DUDES AND I LOVE YOU GUYS A WHOLE LOT! - Signed by Kaminari Denki, 17, wants to eat a electric pole

" Don't you fucks darw take this idea the wrong way. I don't dislike the 4 of you and I actually had a shit ton of fun and laughs. Made my shitty 3 years better. Now let's continue these shitty memories after graduating too." - Signed by Katsuki Bakugou, 17, LORD EXPLOSION MURDER.

Bakusquad really is the best squad huh?

[danishprince]

redid this 92 questions meme from 4 years ago for Fun and Profit because i like seeing how much i’ve changed over the years. not tagging anyone, but if you want to answer the questions, go wild

what was your…

last beverage? woter

last phone call? a confidential call to a research lab at my university because they’re studying alcohol use in young adults and wanted to know if i fit the criteria to be in the study (i do, so i get money for it fuck yeah)

last text message? i told my dad that our neighbors got two of their trees cut down and his response was “Wwwow”

last song listened to? currently listening to “evening prayer aka justice” by ezra furman!

last time you cried? maybe like saturday or sunday? not really sure

have you ever…

dated someone twice? nah

been cheated on? don’t believe so

kissed someone and regretted it? eh i’ve had a few kisses that i look back and kinda cringe at because we were really drunk or i was Not Into Them or whatever, but actually, truly regret? no. 

lost someone special? it’s been awhile since anyone close to me died. my maternal grandma (and step-grandpa) are getting pretty old/less healthy though so i’m like starting to already feel weird snatches of anticipatory grief for that which :/

been depressed? i’d say so yeah, on occasion

been drunk and vomited? fun story i briefly thought i was allergic to alcohol freshman year because i’d throw up every time i drank. TURNS OUT however i just was a dumbass who didn’t know how to hold their liquor

list three favourite colors: hot pink, teal, black

in the last year, have you…

made a new friend? yes indeed

fallen out of love? cannot say that i have

laughed so hard there were tears? oh constantly. though i do that regularly because of the dumbest shit, so that’s not, like, an anomaly

met someone who changed you? YES the professor of my psych lab whom i ADORE

found out who your true friends are? yeah, or at least i feel way more comfortable and grounded in my friendships than i did. which is cool!

found out someone was talking about you? i overheard my coworker at our (drama-filled, my god) orientation leader job bitching about some other coworkers, but then what she said about me was “yeah katie’s pretty cool” so i was like :) :) neat

kissed anyone on your facebook “friend list”? hell yeah babey

general questions.

how many of your facebook friends do you know in person? the vast majority. there’s a few Spelling Bee Kids who’ve just added me for Spelling Bee Clout that i don’t know irl, but otherwise i don’t really add people i don’t know

how many siblings do you have? 1 (one) 16-year-old bröther

do you have any pets? 1 (one) very old round guinea pig named hamlet

do you want to change your name? eh not really. i’m not, like, obsessed with it, but it’s a decent name and i have no urge to change it

what did you do for your last birthday? i turned 21, but it was a monday, so i went to a restaurant with three of my friends and ordered 1 (one) Alcoholic Beverage. then later that week i went to a coffee bar that serves alcohol later at night with some of my other friends and had more Alcoholic Beverages there

when did you wake up today? 9:30ish

what were you doing at midnight last night? being asleep lmao

something you cannot wait for: going to arizona and later going back to kentucky for senior year of college (holy fuck)

when did you last see your mother? like 15 minutes ago, she’s doing laundry or something

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? where 2 begin. uhh i wish i was more naturally outgoing instead of having to consciously turn on my Extrovert Persona in certain scenarios and end up getting super drained from it. i also wish i knew what the fuck i was doing with my life but i think that’s just, like, The Eternal Twenty-Something Mood (at least i hope it is dear god)

what are you listening to right now? the song “rodeo” by lil nas x, which PERSONALLY said gay rights

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes multiple, and every tom(my) i have hated (sorry if you’re a tom and you’re a decent human bean)

what’s getting on your nerves right now? i have to do a bunch of important life and school stuff but i am procrastinating it! so i guess...my brain

most visited webpages: twitter, tumblr, discord, instagram, the dear prudence advice column on slate dot com lmfao

blood type: o+ i believe, but i am too smol to donate blood so i do not know for sure :(

nicknames: some of my friends refer to me over text as k8e and i love it tbh. also katie itself is a nickname

relationship status: single but like, kind of a thot

zodiac sign: virgo sun cancer moon cancer rising 

pronoun: they/them but she/her is also fine

primary school: private lutheran school

middle school: the same private lutheran school

high school: public school

college: university of kentucky for undergrad and also a concurrent grad program (long story). maybe more grad school???? somewhere else??? or not???? I Don’t Know

hair colour: honey blonde

long or short: hair? just got it cut short in january and it was the best decision i ever made

height: 5’6"

do you have a crush on someone? define “crush”

what do you like about yourself? i’m a good listener and writer and also sometimes my Funney Joaks land

do you have any tattoos? nah. i am afear’d i’d regret it

are you right- or left-handed? right-handed

first surgery: some ear procedure thing in kindergarten. if that doesn’t count i got half my wisdom teeth out the summer before college and the other half the summer after freshman year (but was technically awake for both) 

first piercing: ear piercings when i turned sixteen

first best friend: uhhhhh my friend stephanie from home-preschool? or this girl named grace who was my kindergarten best friend but then moved away

first sport you joined: i believe dance classes when i was but a little peanut

first vacation: idk? we went to san diego when i was two i think? don’t remember it though

first pair of trainers/sneakers: good question. had some boss-ass light-up shoes once 

right now i am…

eating: popped corn

drinking: woter 

about to: hopefully write this [bernie sanders voice] damn email, but who is to say : - )

listening to: my liked songs on spotify (currently “i think i’m going to kill myself” by elton john)

interested in having children? if that’s how the proverbial cookie proverbially crumbles, yeah. that idea seems really far away even though i know high school classmates with kids.

interested in getting married? yes, but if and only if i meet the right person

ready for a career or have one? [sobbing]

which is better…?

lips or eyes? eyes generally, but lips are also Good

hugs or kisses? k i s s e s. i lov to kiss. love hugs too though if it’s with friends

shorter or taller? actually being a similar height to me is optimal! 

older or younger? mmm i tend to subconsciously lean older, but younger is fine too

romantic or spontaneous? the wording seems to imply that “romantic” and “spontaneous” are opposites which just isn’t true. both?? 

nice stomach or nice arms? arms i guess?

sensitive or loud? my first impulse was “loud” but like....loud in that i tend to gravitate to people who are more extroverted than me, but not in terms of being overtly annoying or demanding.

hook-up or relationship? :^) judging by my History(tm) it’d be committed hook-up, lol. but like either is good. am not about sex with a stranger though.

troublemaker or hesitant? troublemaker ~vibes~ but not actually, like, a danger in any way. being hesitant can be cute, but i myself am often pretty hesitant so it can become an Awkwardness Standoff more often than not

have you ever…

kissed a stranger? no, but came damn close in greece

drunk hard liquor? oh yeah lmao

lost glasses or contacts? i’m sure i’ve lost a pair of contacts somewhere in there

had sex on the first date? depends on your definition of “sex”, and also on your definition of “date” really, but also Yeah

broken someone’s heart? i hope not, but i think maybe :/

had your own heart broken? ....ish?

been arrested? nope

turned someone down? yyyyyyep

cried when someone died? not in my memory? though i might have

fallen for a friend? :^) haha oh yeah

do you believe in…

yourself? i try oh my god do i try

miracles? i think

love at first sight? nah. i think intrigue at first sight is a thing, or lust at first sight, or even just a bizarre extraterrestrial sense of Knowing, but real genuine love? nahhhh son you gotta know someone deeply for that. mortifying ordeal of being known and all that

heaven? mm yeah i’d say so

santa claus? no, and i haven’t for a hot minute there

kissing on the first date? lol yeah kiss away

angels? fuck yeah sometimes they’re circle things with 56879879677 eyes and they’re cool af

well in review i have indeed changed quite a bit from myself four years ago! in summary i am more of a thot and also drink alcohol. idk. my answers then ~seemed~ more sure of myself in terms of, like, this façade of being chill all the time, but less sure re: how i related to other people. all my angst on those questions was about school instead of general personhood. 4 years ago i also definitely /remember/ being insecure (at the time) about the fact that i’d never kissed anyone/etc., but my answers themselves don’t look that way. (sidenote being insecure about that kind of thing really isn’t worth it, everyone does life at their own pace.) whereas now i feel more open actively discussing my insecurities (see above re: future plans/etc.) instead of just boxing them down and pretending they don’t exist. as a high schooler i thought i was bad at being a person, and i feel like i’m a lot better at being authentic with myself (and ergo, being a person) now. though of course there is no right way to be a person which is something i still frequently have to remind myself.

ANYWAY yeah that was a fun waste of an hour feel free to use these questions for yrself

[krakenator]

CHAPTER 7 aka “Blighterpoop”

SPOILERS are sprinkled around extremely liberally for The Property of Hate

Masterpost here

POV, short of Point of View, is about perspectives. Makes sense for a chapter that’s one big fight and chase scene through a tree

Bruh you can actually see exactly the branch that Hero will spear herself on on the title page. also what looks like a deer head on the direct opposite side of it

We actually see the moment RGB’s color pallet resolves itself into his new Look of the Day. Suit counter = 4

Yo those… those are veins on the tree. Nice hint that this thing is also a heart

Hero singing that Gonzo song from the Muppet movie is not ok

Hewwo? Assowk? OwO

Mad applause once again to mod for the speechboxes bc goddamn. It sets such a tone for character voice. Assok’s voice is pink tinged with Hero’s orange, since they’re copying Hero’s words- it so very neatly establishes that Assok’s voice is a garbled combination of their own, original pink sound and Hero’s orange cadence. When they parrot RGB is in just a few pages, that pink is mixed with RGB’s white text!

And! Hero’s speechbubble visually cracking alongside her voice! Like, that’s motherfucking genius but also NOT OKAY

Hero, seeing her first friendly face after having a big argument with TV Dad and seeing Scary Dad wear his skin and eviscerate enemies with extreme prejudice: oh thank god

I didn’t actually get that Hero was mimicking Negative’s face/eye here until now. Even more interestingly, Assok doesn’t recognize it- Assok’s never met Neggy Boi. This might add substance to the “Negative is a recent development, split from RGB when he was speared by Fears in Ch. 2” school of thought

That’s just the foreshadowing babey dont worry ‘bout it

ASSOK DOES THE KERMIT :S FACE

Interestingly, RGB recognizes Assok immediately and is. Very contrite. Lookit that awkward hat fiddling. Gotta wonder who the last Hero before our Hero was. Gotta wonder if it was Assok

Assok is having too much fun with this. Look at that smirk. That’s a smirk of pure glee. Of mischief and cahoots

Okay I am. In love with the page composition of 120.

Ey, the first time RGB fiddles with his volume

That’s… a very specific pose there mod. A hanged man sort of pose. A sacrificial sort of symbolism

AND THUS BEGINS MY FAVORITE SET OF RGB MOVEMENTS: FRUSTRATION PARKOUR

Which really just smacks you in the face with a certain reality: RGB is FIT as FUCK in many senses of the word. I’ve already mentioned he STRONK but look. Look at him monkeying around the tree in this chapter. Take it from me that he moves like a rock climber here. Like, a confident one. This pose right here? Goddamn. He’s one of those people that makes the sport look easy damn him

Would he have muscles if he wasn’t invisible? Will we ever get a glimpse of skin RGB and just get whacked in the eyeballs with an athlete of a man?

I heard RGB has an 8 pack. Heard that he’s shredded

Wow Hero knows some BAD WORDS for a six year old. Who taught this girl to say dumbass?!

Even beyond the hilarity of Assok’s garbled contributions, lookit the colors- not a trace of pink in there. It’s only white and orange, a mixture of RGB and Hero’s namecalling without Assok’s own voice in there and… oh come on. the shapes that make up the speech are white squares and orange circles.

And looking back, Assok repeating Hero words are in orangey-pink circles that gather into a roughly oval-shaped speech, and RGB phrases are in pinkish-white squares that gather into more rectangular shaped speechboxes.

the power of laughter prevails! the argument isn’t over, but they’ve definitely reached a ceasefire

Aaaaand cue the second stabbing! Can’t believe she went a broke her promise to Madras like that

I guess that’s it everyone! Hero’s dead, journey’s over, time to start a new Hero! Thanks for tuning in, see you next time when RGB shows up in my room to take me on a magical adventure where I inevitably end up being turned into, like, an ink creature

New TPoH art challenge, draw your Hero-self after RGB’s gone and fucked it all up

But on that life-saving schism though… going back, we can actually see it opening up over the course of the last 15 or so pages! We first get a look at Hero’s shirt on page 110 when she takes off the Doubtified raincoat. No visible schism

Between pages 110-126 we actually see it re-appear! Super neat!

Check it: page 115: no schism

page 120: we get our first clear look at Hero’s shirt since climbing the tree and- ah.

it only seems to get longer and, uh, open-er as their fight continues; here’s page 123 shortly before Hero takes her tumble

So why did Hero’s schism come back like a bunch of ripped stitches, but RGB’s own stab wound is never seen again? Is it because she got nightmare-gassed on top of the trauma? it is to do with doubts?

RGB hasn’t actually said “I’m sorry” in this chapter that we’ve seen… for Assok to be using it, he’s either used it in the minor timeskip that’s implied between pages 127-128 where RGB has a “I wasn’t attached” breakdown, or Assok heard it when Assok was the Hero… who wants to bet they heard it when their own Hero’s Journey forcibly and tragically ended?

Y’know, I thought the first go around that RGB was just reassuring himself, but looking closer… he’s petting Assok while Assok cries that they’re sorry. He’s saying it to Assok.

Which isn’t to say that RGB isn’t also feeling horrible, he absolutely is, but realizing that it’s not two characters having two separate meltdowns but RGB comforting Assok while having his own meltdown… that’s some Good Shit right there.

Another note of interest is that there is very little pink in Assok’s cries here; this is almost solely RGB’s voice they’re using, in contrast to another time they’ve used RGB’s voice:

“what in heavens name are you MADE of?!” sterling stuff, RGB. Sterling stuff. But seriously… this is the second of at least three times Hero’s been noted to be particularly resilient

Additionally, everything is made of Stuff here, not just the trees. Hero didn’t make that statement with a literal intent but… it probably is literal, now

So, the schism opens when Hero experiences, what, anger? Resentment? Or hate perhaps? Also, check out the, like… fear residue she leaves behind in the tree??

“just this once” lmao ok RGB you keep telling yourself that

He’s siiiinging in the rain

RGB dips out of panel boundaries constantly but this is a big one.  he breaks the laws of space to point accusingly at Hero’s face from both four inches and 2 meters away

Whoof, even the MEMORY of Negative glitches the page what fierce. Jeebs you’re gonna give this child nightmares

?? what’s Assok looking a-

Hold the fu. Hold the fuck on. hold the. That shadow. That’s- is that the butterfly?

I gotta tell ya, I am getting DISTINCT flowey vibes right now.

And thus we conclude Day 3 as the tree begins to thaw... better go find out how that turns out next chapter

[thecrotchhand]

health class >:(

-ug

-did somebody say rick of suicide

-”ooh, there’s a laser!” -student teacher

-good ways to manage stress- “punching a hole through the wall”

-”do you have a long-term goal?” “dying”

-”we should deport justin bieber back to canada”

-”if you say you're gonna do something, then do it" "i'm gonna kill myself ;))"

-"i'm busy singing Africa by Toto" *off-key singing continues*

-"when you lose weight, where does it go?" "it goes to weight heaven"

-the guy next to me started playing Africa quietly from his phone

-"i'm talking to bowl cut. just kidding chris. i love you." "...i'm getting a haircut."

-"you don't lift to get swole" -st

-"that sounds not good for you" "i'm gonna try it"

-"during pregnancy, the women in here are gonna need more folate, iron, and calcium" "no, i'm gonna need a coathanger"

-"liar liar pants for hire"

-"is eustress good stress or bad stress?" (long silence) "it's good stress! yay!" -st

-good ways to relax- "11 hours straight of anime"

-"everything's gonna be ok" lmao good joke

-"precipitation... wait i mean perspiration. it still counts, it's raining from your body."

-ways to manage depression- "kill yourself :D"

-help the teacher (flynn) has been yelling at us for the past five minutes

-uh oh she said damn it's gettin' wild

-she went back into her office after and all of a sudden we hear a quiet "oh, happy Wednesday"

-"is it possible to have an abortion 700 weeks late?"

-"what's the r-word we talked about?" "rawr XD"

-"what does autonomy mean?" "it's like grey's anatomy but for cars"

-alcoholism is a good sims trait

-guy: sneezes

guy's friend: "god bless... america"

-”what do you say to your sibling during an argument?” "you should've been aborted" “no”

- "your personality might be kind of boring" "like a potato!" "yeah"

-"what does down to earth mean?" "it means you're like the lorax, you speak for the trees"

-"he was happy?" "yeah! put him working with me and larson for ten years and... we fixed him!"

-the student teacher generally has a habit of sarcastic yaying and it entertains me

-"jason (chris) move your head" "just throw a rock at it, it'll move"

-someone was trying to come up with weird phobias and someone suggested genital herpes

-"sir you've been diagnose with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia " "aahHH"

-"if someone comes up to you and says a mean word, you're gonna be upset" "hey sam" "what" "fuck"

-"i found a big circle"

-"*cough* flynn"

flynn, out of nowhere: "i heard that"

-"have you guys seen cabin in the woods?" "wait, the one with the cabin in the woods?"

-:(

-"let's say you don't have a gun" "pft, not in america"

-we were talking about miscarriage and cody goes "fetus... deletus"

-examples of anger- "when mcdonald's doesn't have ice cream"

-video from the 80's: "depression isn't talked about"

-a seal saved this guy's life and he just: 'ah yes it was all because of god' ¿¿¿???

-80's commercials are the weirdest shit

-yepperdoodles

-"...gonna get addicted to xanax"

-"you guys all did a really good job on your tests" "i got a C" "i got a D+" "yeah there wasn't a single person i was not happy with"

-"you say you see really good scores, but what i'm seeing is a D"

-examples of compromise- "i got a D+, but i feel i deserved an A, so let's meet in the middle with a C" "but what do i get out of it?" "if he passes the class, you don't have to see him anymore"

-"oh no my one feeling"

-"what are some ways to resolve conflict?" "killing yourself"

-"put away the candy this is health class"

-(talking about conflict) "...then the fire nation attacked"

-(softly) "yo what the heck dawg"

-"if they started a rumor-" "kill them"

-"when i was-" "a young boy"

-"you got two more weeks with the student teacher, then you get me back" *high pitched screaming*

-"they never broke out, and then one of them broke out"

-"wrestling uniforms are skimpy"

-(across the room) "hey man, can i touch your butt?" "i don't mind, dude"

-"let's say my wife is going to leave me and i'm... celebrating! oh wait"

-"they're fat and skinny, they're white, black, pink, purple, and orange-" "trump"

-"listen, idiotface"

-"do you think... the government is hiding the cure for cancer...?"

-i love government conspiracy theories during health

-"i... declare... bAnkrUptCY"

-"are we watching a movie?" "maybe if we're lucky it's the ring and it'll kill us"

-lmao i don't need drugs to feel numb

-"aww, flynn, we know you're drinkin' a bottle in the back room" "yeah, just look at ya, why wouldn't i?"

-The Weed™

-"weed stops your sperm from being produced correctly" "perfect, it's birth control too"

-"weed might shrink your... parts" "i think i'll just stick to meth"

-"weed might give you a special needs child" "it's wilson 2.0!"

-"i'm gonna be a drug dealer but not a mean one like a nice, happy 'eyy, wanna buy some drugs? :3'"

-oh no, grandma's growing weed in the basement

-"ahh, the weed's on fire"

-"guess that's how they caught the drug dealers. the deer were high"

-teacher: "ooh, i just sounded like yoda: don't smoke The Weed™"

-"hey, where can you buy a still? asking for a cousin"

-"raise your hand if you want to watch hentai"

-this guy keeps responding to people with "yes, my child?"

-"they put aborted fetuses in vaccines" "oh honey no"

-"how do you keep yourself from getting sick?" "stop breathing"

-examples of painkillers- "cocaine"

-"i know elvis presley is still alive because the king never dies"

-biggest drinker in our grade: "am i gonna be an alcoholic?" class: "you already are"

-c o m p r o m i s i n g  p o s i t i o n

-"trick question, i am hentai"

-"what would you do... if i said i could put you in your own hentai"

-"you're gettin' a hole in your nose oh my goodness"

-"depression" "nope" "wait... depression"

-"I can't remember the happiness i felt before drugs" "i can't remember feeling happiness at all"

-"oh you're back! just in time for meth"

-"oh my garage"

-"lotta meth in that town" "nah just incest"

-"it kills your brain cells. which some of you can't afford (staring directly at the class alcoholic)"

-"why do dentists have the highest suicide rate?? probably because everyone hates the dentist, i dunno"

-"that's accusations" "uuuuuhh no" "oh"

-"oh my gads. you got some meth?"

-"in the puss!" "terms" "sorry. vag!"

-"there's a pretty good chance that drug came out of someone's anal cavity" "that's why i don't do heroin"

-"hey, whose buttocks did this come out of?"

"i'm gonna go shoot myself with some dog food, brb"

-"oh my chicken pie"

-"i've been told we're gonna draw a penis"

-help they're genuinely discussing giving babies steroids

-"most of the female reproductive cells are useless" "just like my brain cells"

-the teacher keeps referring to developing babies as "little rat" and "alien creature"

-"if you eat my period snacks, i will eat you"

-*chiming* "is that santa??"

-"what's the only fluid that doesn't go to the baby?" "water" "no" "air" "no" "earth" "..." "fire"

-"you're supposed to snort those calcium pills" "don't snort the calcium pills"

-"mr. o'reilly, when'd you miss your period?"

-"is it true you puke the day after you get pregnant?" "no, if you puke the day after, it's from the alcohol the night before"

-fetus = jumbo shrimp

- i too, am a very sad lookin' heart

-"no, you cannot throw up your baby"

-"now that we've taken the baby home, we need to figure out what to do with it" "flush it down the toilet"

-"if you wear a hat all the time, all your hair is gonna fall out and die" "ha ha kevin, you're gonna die"

-"since i was 14. and i'm 112"

-"big dumb"

-"what do you want to be when you grow up?" "dead"

-"my parents say: 'hey... whatcha doin' with that 24-pack?'"

-"did jeffery dahmer's mom love him?" "hope not"

-"ohh i love the smell of babies *sniff sniff*"

-"they can be found in places that are... places"

-"why are there rotting apples under here?" "no you gotta let those ferment"

-"what's something you lose by age 3?" "hope"

-the guy in front of me had marvel porn on his phone????????????? hentai hulk's bright red ass is permanently ingrained in my mind

-"what am i supposed to do to live 2 more years? wrap myself in bubble wrap and eat brussel sprouts?"

-"for every 10 pounds overweight you are, subtract 1." "-50"

-"you're wearing a flamingo shirt, you're no one's favorite"

-"you don't snort viagra"

-"how do you feel about having guns in our home?" "how do you feel about how quickly i'd use it to kill myself?"

-"hey, 2 seniors walking down the hallway! wanna give her your papers?" "outta my way. hey! get back here and gimme your papers, ya bums."

-"it's not just the genitals that transfer STDs" "left calf"

-"what if they got an STD some other way?" "drinking sprite"

-"...serial monogamy-" "cereal is for mornings"

-"...trading sex for-" "chicken nugget"

-"you wanna try sex wearing a hazmat suit, go ahead" "don't kinkshame me"

-"STI: spaghetti time infection. it's an epidemic"

-"g- ross"

-"AIDS didn't come from sex with a monkey" "it's definitely about sex with monkeys"

-"what kinds of drugs do i need if i have AIDS?" "nothing, you wanna die"

-"do you know what they do to get rid of genital warts?" "chop your dick off" "mix wart cream with water and drink it"

-oh no they found out what they do get rid of genital warts

-"they shove a q-tip in your penis" "iiiiii'd rather die"

-"is that what tinder is? swipe right if you want crabs?"

-"i would suggest not setting your genitals on fire"

- "your penis doesn't do tricks"

-"do you have a driver's license? *nod* "do you have a car?" *nod* "are you a big boy?" *unsure nod*

-"i know it's only the last day but i will make you suffer for every last minute" "then i'll just do what i always do *sleeps*"

-our resident alcoholic was washing the board and people were jokingly flirting with him so he tied his shirt into a bikini and continued washing so the teacher docked him points for it. don't worry he was already failing

[lavidademarimar]

~ Catch up on Praia, the first part of the story of Jack x Elena ~

~ Masterlist ~

Elena opened the door to her flat and it seemed no one was there. She rolled her suitcase into her room, and fell with a thud on her bed. Her phone vibrated. She grunted and took it out of her pocket. 

Jack: Did ye make it home all right?

“Does he have a GPS on me?” Elena wondered out loud. 

A knock on the door brought Elena back to reality. “Jell-o? You back?” a man’s voice came from the other side. 

“Yeah, come in! I’m here.”

Carlos, Elena’s roommate made his way into the room. He is also Venezuelan, and considerably taller than her. He hugged her and put his hands on her shoulders.

“You’re so fucking tanned. I’m so jealous.”

“The beach life is the best life. Shame we left home.”

“Yeah, but we escaped communism, so we kind of won.”

“True.”

He sat on the sofa in Elena’s room. “Did you just get in? How you feeling? Do you want to get fries and you can tell me all about your trip?”

“Give me an hour to shower. I should also unpack,” said Elena, pointing at her messy suitcase.

“I’ll go get the food and we’ll have it here,” Carlos said. 

“Ugh, even better. You’re the best.”

Carlos and Elena were the best of friends. They had been since 2006. Elena was sure Jack would hate his guts. 

“So, you’re dating a Scot that lives in London?” Carlos asked, sceptical. They were sat in their little dining room table.

“Pretty much,” said Elena, dipping a fry in Samourai sauce. 

“And in a couple of days his best friend is staying with us because he has work here?” Carlos really had no idea what was going on. Every new information made his question the entire trip, even more than Elena had done on the flight back.

“Yup.”

“I’m sorry. Did you get married and didn’t invite me? Because I will fucking lose it right now,” Carlos was dumbfounded. 

“Yeah, I guess when you say it like that it sounds weird,” Elena shrugged. 

The door to their apartment opened and a shorter man walked in. This is Andres, their other best friend.

“Hey! You’re back!” He walked over to Elena, gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. 

“No, dude, and wait until you hear what she has to say. She got married in Portugal and didn’t invite us.”

Andres grabbed a chair and sat next to them. “What?”

“I’m seeing this guy,” said Elena. 

“What?”

“I met a Scot in Portugal and we had two weeks of fantastic sex. We didn’t want to leave it, so we’re going to try and see if we can manage seeing each other.”

“Yes, that will most definitely work,” said Andres, deadpan, not believing a word Elena said, standing up and grabbing a beer from their refrigerator.

“What makes you believe he doesn’t have a girlfriend back in London?” asked Carlos.

“He’s the insanely jealous type, so I doubt he likes to share with anyone. This includes himself.” The words came out of her mouth before she could truly grasp what she was doing. Elena had been surrounded by boys her whole life, and they always got possessive about her. These boys, their group from high school, were the worst. By saying Jack was the jealous type, he immediately became a target. 

“Oh god, Elena, seriously? Are you going out with a prick? Again? Can we let you go on holiday in peace?” Andres shook his head, annoyed.

“Let me guess, Olivia encouraged this,” said Carlos with a hint of disdain. Those two had dated in Venezuela before everyone went their separate ways, and it didn’t end very well. 

“She would have actually married me if Lucy hadn’t intervened,” Elena laughed. 

“His best friend is coming next week and staying here with us,” Carlos announced to Andres, who clearly did not approve of everything he had heard for the last hour. 

“Guys, I have absolutely no faith in this, okay? I honestly don’t think this is going to work, but he’s great and the sex is amazing, so if I can get some regular dick without the commitment of having to see someone once a week, I’m going to take it.”

“I am absolutely unconvinced. When is he coming to introduce himself?” Carlos asked. 

“I told him I’d tell him when he could come. I wanted to settle back into my real life before he’d show up.”

“A sensible choice,” said Andres.

After what felt hours of Judgement Day, Elena was finally on her bed, naked. Summer in Brussels was awful, and the heat unbearable. She was glad she’d bought a fan when they were still cheap and that made it less horrible. She was reading on her iPad when her phone vibrated again. She knew who it was.

Jack: Birdie, I haven’t heard from ye all day. Are ye okay?

She had another one that made her giggle.

Tom: Mate, could you please just tell him you’re fine. He’s been making us miserable with his shitty mood. 

Elena: Joke’s on you for living with him. 

Tom: Fuck off! 

Elena: I dare you to tell him I replied to your messages but not his. 

Tom: No thanks. I need to be alive next week. I hope you’re cleaning the sofa I’ll be sleeping on. 

Elena: Yes, I hope you’re keeping the allowance they gave you because you’re taking me out to dinner.

Tom: of course, love. I’ve the money on me. I arrive Thursday morning. 

Elena: fantastic, just in time to mingle with the young adults and get drunk at Plux. 

Tom: Plux?

Elena: You’ll see what I mean. Let’s talk tomorrow. I’m going to reply to your friend now. 

Tom: See you soon xx

Elena: Hey, made it home okay. I was catching up with Carlos and Andres. How was your day?

The phone vibrated almost immediately. 

Jack: This is yer roommate and your neighbour, no?

Elena: Yes. Best friends from school. 

Jack: My day was less than thrilling. Coming back to this fucked weather made me miss Portugal already. 

Elena: How’s settling in with your new flatmates?

Jack: I have no idea why the bloody fuck I thought this would be a good idea for all of us. 

Elena: LMAO that well?

Jack: I am going to murder Harry before the year is over. Remember this.  

Elena: you’ll go to jail :(

Jack: would ye miss me?

Elena: who would I tell that I’m naked right now in my empty double bed?

Jack video-called Elena. She picked up.

“Very smooth. Very very smooth,” said Elena laughing loudly.

“Let me see ye, please.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want you to get used to this happening every night,” she said sternly.

“Birdie, please,” his voice begging made Elena close her thighs to create a bit of friction but was cut off by a muffled sound that came from Jack’s door and some banging. 

“What’s that?” Elena asked. 

Jack let out an exasperated sigh. “Let me show you.”

Jack switched the camera and the door opened to reveal Harry with a bottle of wine in his hand, wearing nothing but boxers.

“Mate, what are you doing? Come drink with us.”

“I’m on the phone.”

“Who are you talking to? Is it Elena?! BIIIIIIIRDIEEEEEEEEE!!!” Harry screamed, grabbed the mobile and left Jack’s room. “How are you? How was your flight back? Are you knackered? Boys, say hi to Elena!” Harry was bubblier than usual. How he always managed to have that amount of energy was beyond Elena’s belief.

Fionn waved and laughed at how angry Jack was behind Harry. 

“I’ve spoken with her today, I don’t need to see her again,” said Tom.

“Hey, Thomas, I resent your tone,” said Elena, stifling laughter. 

“Sorry, love. I don’t want to get sick of you. I’m spending a week with you next week.”

“True.”

Harry whined. “I’d forgot Tommy gets to see you next week! When am I going? Why are you ignoring me? Why is Tom your favourite?”

Elena laughed. She knew Harry loved to push Jack’s buttons and he was unbelievably successful doing so. “I am not ignoring you! I’m talking to you right now. Tom is my favourite because he’s not bloody drunk all the time screaming ‘More wine!’ every five minutes.”

Harry put his hand on his chest, acting as if he were hurt. “Mate, that fucking Portuguese wine is delicious.”

“Harry, mate, could I please have my phone back?” Jack was seething. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. See you soon, love. If you don’t tell me when I can go, I’ll just show up at your doorstep. I’m sure Jacky would love it.”

Elena shook her head. “Jacky can love whatever he wants. You’re his friend, not mine, babe. It’s his poor choice in friendships being judged here, not mine.”

The boys laughed loudly. 

“You see why I love her? See you soon.” Harry handed the mobile back to Jack, who ripped it from his hands and locked himself up in his bedroom. 

“Why did you move in with them? You can afford a place of your own,” Elena laughed. She didn’t understand why Jack insisted on torturing himself like that in the first place. He loved his uni mates but he was very much his own person at that point, being the oldest of the bunch. 

“I know, but I spent a lot of my savings in Shanghai, so I want to get that money back and then get me a place of my own.”

“Ah, the expat bubble. A true gem,” said Elena, deadpan.

Jack laughed. “I miss yer smart mouth.”

“Where do you miss it?”

Jack coughed. “What?”

“Where do you miss my smart mouth?” Elena repeated. She turned on her pink nightlight, an IKEA cheap purchase that made her room look like a weird 80s porn movie. She flipped the camera so Jack could see her body. “I could show you where I miss your mouth,” Elena said as she caressed her thighs and moaned softly. 

He stood up and locked his bedroom door before making his way onto the bed again. 

“I don’t want to risk Harry coming in to me wanking to ye,” huffed Jack.

Elena laughed. “You don’t have to apologise for that, babe. Now… where were we?”

“Show me where ye miss me.”

“Well, my boobs don’t really miss you because they can move freely now, so I won’t show you those.”

Jack laughed. “Best pillows in the world. How do ye make Skype sex funny and arousing?”

“I am a girl of many talents, as you know.”

“Show me yer talents. Touch yerself.”

“Where?”

“Ye know where.”

“I think you’re going to have to… guide me…” her voice trailed off and Jack started grunting. 

“Circle yer clit.”

“I want to see your cock now.”

“Yer wish is my command.” Jack flipped the camera and he was already naked from the waist down. His member hard just by the sound of Elena’s voice. 

“Ughhhhh hi babyyyyy I miss you so much already. My mouth is not the same without you in it.”

Jack laughed and squirmed as precum leaked out of him. “How the fuck do ye manage to turn me on so much?”

“I want to see you wanking. I don’t want to see your cock by itself if I’m not there taking care of it.”

Jack started pumping himself and Elena teased him until both released in a calm but necessary orgasm. Skype sex would never be the same thing. 

“I miss ye already.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Jack sighed. “Yer regretting it already, aren’t ye?”

“Why do you think you can read me like an open book?” Elena said defensively.

“Because ye are.”

“I just don’t see it working out.”

Jack sighed again. “Birdie, why don’t we try one day at a time? We’ll be fine. Just… don’t overthink it.”

Elena sighed. “Good night, Jack.” 

She hung up. 

Jack had forgot he had made a mess earlier and stood up to clean himself up. After changing and a cold shower, he unlocked the door to his room and faced his new flatmates, who were in a circle, laughing and drinking the wine Harry had brought back. As soon as they saw his face, Harry stood and got another glass of wine. Jack sat next to him and shook his head. 

“It’s okay, mate. I’ll talk to her when I see her,” said Tom. 

“Mate, you knew it wasn’t going to be easy, knowing how she is,” said Fionn. 

“One day at a time, mate. She’s the most challenging bird you’ve been with to date, but don’t worry. We’ll help you get on and be victorious!” Harry put his arm around Jack’s shoulders and gave him a kiss on his temple. 

For a minute, Jack had remembered why he had decided to move with his mates. 

Day one back had proved challenging already, and he wasn’t going to Brussels for another two weeks.

NEXT: Casablanca Picnics

A/N: This would be the first instalment of the Praia sequel. I’m not really sure how many parts it will be, even though I have a general idea where I want to take the story. Let me know what you thiiiiiink :) <3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #163

i’m too tired to think of song lyrics rn.

Do you have a little sister? Yes. The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?  In her actual presence, I think once? Over a phone or Skype, like... two or three times. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think a lot before you fall asleep? SO MUCH. It's part of why I struggle to fall asleep. Brain doesn't stop. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? That's the story of my fucking life. Romantically, just once. Are you guilty of flirting too much? Definitely not. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. Does virginity matter to you? Not really anymore, no. So long you gave it up to someone you sincerely loved and were smart about it. Do you know anybody who was abused? A few emotionally. Have you ever bought or sold something on Facebook Marketplace? No. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? YEAH. The only case in which it does't bother me too much is when I've been a *truly* s/o with you for a while. Like if I'd go beyond just kissing you, it shouldn't be a bit deal to just drink after you. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Does anyone not, really? Is there a difference between just love and in love? YEAH. Are you good at admitting your problems? Pretty easy for me. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? Once. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? No. Do you ever feel like just laying down and giving up? Not really anymore!! I get down, but I never have the urge to just give up entirely. Have you ever lied about your age? When I was younger signing up for websites lmao. Lied about your name? No. Do you sit on the mattresses in furniture stores? Sometimes. Are there some topics that you aren’t very open about? Maybe? It depends on the person. Have you ever had an encounter with a very dangerous animal? No. Have you ever fed a wild animal people food? I mean I fed ducks bread as a kid/before I knew it was bad. Would you rather die or eat another human being? Die. Some things aren't worth living after you've done them. Do you wish that animals could talk? Why or why not? YES!!!!!! BOTH SIDES COULD LEARN SO MUCH!!!!!!! AND PEOPLE WOULD CARE ABOUT THEM MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Who did you last fall asleep with? Sara. Now your cell phone, what color is it? Dark blue. Who were you last in a car with? Nicole. What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Have you had “the best night of your life”? Eh. Probably not. Toilet papered someones house? I'm an adult. Who was the last person you high-fived? Probably Aubree or Ryder. Or the girl Colleen watches. Do you own a romper? Noooo, not my thing. What does your computer’s slow-loading cursor look like? Blue circle. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? Pool. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? Oh fuck that shit, I was afraid of porcelain dolls and still am. Do you sell any products? If so, what? No. If not, do you want to start a business? Well I wanna be a freelance photographer. Have your parents ever crushed your dreams? No. Do you own anything cheetah print? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. Do you make DIY projects and gifts? No. Don't have the motivation. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Is your kitchen floor black and white checkered? No. What do you make wishes on? Nothing. What’s the best natural pain reliever? Sleep. Do you like trees? Yeah! What’s your favorite Paramore song? "That's What You Get." What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? LIGHT PINK. Happy and soft colors! Do you think you are pregnant? That's impossible. Do you like the ocean? Yeah. You wouldn't see me deep it there, but I mean, it's cool. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Apparently not. I guess. I asked Juan, Tyler, and Sara, BUT only because I knew they liked me. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? YES I FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AND IT'S JUST CUTE!!!!!! Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? Dad and I may go see another soon-ish, but I doubt it. We both think The Meg looks good. What are you listening to? I swear I go back to binge "Cool Patrol" by NSP like every other month. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Once, and I can pretty much guarantee this one's gonna hit that mark. Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? If I could open the damn thing. Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? Sometimes. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? No. Do you still own a VCR? No. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah. Do you own a nightgown? No. Who is one rapper that just always tends to get on your nerves? Why? I can't stand Kanye, because y'know, he's a god-complexed dick. Has anyone ever made you breakfast in bed? Were they trying to suck up? No. When will be the next time you’ll get a shot? What is this shot anyway? I'unno. When will you next eat tacos? Do you even like tacos, or not so much? I hate tacos. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? One of my very best high school friends recently revealed she is and I am soooo fucking excited for her. Would you or have you ever engaged in casual sex? If we were both single there is one (1) person I probably would fuck I hate myself like a lot and I am a hypocrite. What’s your favorite thing about spring? Just the flowers. And that's it. Have you ever tried belly dancing? If so, did you like it? No, & that would be a blinding display. Were you a part of any clique in high school? Kinda? The goths, emos, metalheads, and scenes all kinda. Naturally came together. Most knew everyone's names and we kinda had this unspoken bond with all the others. We always sat together at lunch. Have you ever given blood? Yeah. I'd actually like to do it again, I think, with me drinking a good amount of water now. Do you like the way you grew up? The only thing I'd change is I wish chores were more firmly enforced. I don't do them enough, and I'm approaching 23. Would you prefer to read or write poetry? Write. If you were to have a child, what would the last name be? Well, mine? But once married I'd definitely get it changed to Sara's. I will not doom her with mine lmao. Are you currently working? And if so do you like your job? No. Have you ever walked out on a job or just not showed up? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Would you rather be able to fly or walk on water? Fly. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been to one. Which sport are you the best at playing? I wasn't bad at basketball last I played. Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Probably. Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? Not the very recent future. A house/apartment will probably be rented first. What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? Disney World. What's something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? I'm hard to get to know due to me fearing judgment. I can be very defensive if you push me to talk about some things. Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Jason had more of a goatee sometimes. When you were younger, did you believe in Santa?  Yeah. Are you going to make your kids believe in Santa? I don't want kids. If I did however, I probably would. Have you ever made your own calendar? No. What foreign language did you take in high school? One semester of Latin, German for four semesters. Do your parents have gray hair? Yeah. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? Uhhhhh I guess "E.T." What was the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? I haven't acted on it yet, but I made the decision that I would make a sincere effort to fight AvPD and be way more open about myself. What was the last significant and great thing that happened in your life? Met Sara. What is your favorite Starbucks' drink? I don't go there. Who are your last 3 missed calls from? Vocational rehab, Mom, Colleen. Do you like Skittles? Yesssss. Do you blow dry your hair? No. How do you like your eggs? Fertilized by Mark Fischfuck goddammit What song is the catchiest song you know? Hmmm. I suppose maybe "Bad Romance," because I can enjoy like, ANY cover, as well as the original. What is your greatest life accomplishment? Healing. Who is the last person you left a voicemail for? VR. Which is better: the Twilight book, or the Twilight movie? I haven't read any, never watched any. Do you enjoy crossword puzzles? Yes. Do you own any records? No. I wish. Something I'd love to collect. Who was the last guy you called? Dad, probably. You can only listen to THREE CDs for the rest of your life. What are they? "Black Rain" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Black Album" by Metallica, and "The Ascension" by Otep. What is the most unique or uncommon thing about you? Uh I dunno. I guess having blue eyes??? Idk. What happened the last time you were in a fight with someone? I cut her ass out and ignored her. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who started it? No. What is your favorite type of kiss/way of kissing? Hardcore making out. Favorite form of affection in general/not sexual/etc? Hand holding. Or tight hugs. What do you think about anime? They have some of the most interesting stories, tbh. Who is the last person you unfollowed on Tumblr, and why did you do this? Someone whose posting content changed and I didn't enjoy, probably. What are some upcoming concerts in your town/city? The only one I know of and care about is Metallica in January. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I know of. Would you rather have potato or chicken noodle soup if you had to? Never had potato, but I don't think I'd like it, so. I don't really like chicken noodle, either. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My damn knees. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? I'm not an animal. Would you rather go to the movies, drive-in, or stay at home and watch a movie? Go to the movies. Would you ever be a race-car driver? No. What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite sex? No. What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about? I'm not sure. What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind? It's absolute bullshit. What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap? You literally cannot convince me 9/11 wasn't orchestrated by the government. Stupid one, lizard people. Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway? Urgent care. When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? I dunno. What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? Permanently, absolutely, kick Colleen out of my life. I know it was the right choice. What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? I took a quiz out of boredom before, and I got Hufflepuff, very closely followed by Gryffindor. However, some questions were hard for me, as I know pretty much nothing about the series. So, don't know stereotypes either. What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? Skydive. Don't have the guts. When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)? Ha, mental hospital. What was the last thing you quit? Meat. Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies? Duh!! And I dunno, really. I see us as equal. I don't really know which I'd go to first if both were in a crisis or something. As an adult, what is the most and least you’ve weighed? I don't even want to say what I weighed at the end of '16. The least was ~120, what I'm desperately trying to get back to. @_@ What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? *shrugs* What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like? Mexican food came to mind. Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic? Currently I do a 16-hour fast every day and then I'm also a vegetarian. What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? Politics. What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? Well, RP. You put all the shit I've written together, and it'd probably be longer than the Bible lmao. Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this? OTHERS. I GET LONELY. What scares you about getting older? Feeling the physical effects. What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe? I don't think anything, really. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Do you have a member of the opposite sex you’ve told everything to? Jason knew everything at the time we were together. What color hair do you find sexiest on the opposite gender? I like unnaturally colored hair most, so... but for "normal" colors, black. Who last slept in your bed besides you? Sara. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? I would *actually* kick him in the dick if he had the audacity. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Metallica with Mom. What is your favorite social networking site? Facebook for the sake of keeping up with people, Tumblr for entertainment purposes. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? No. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? Deeefinitely not. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans anymore period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? I'm not in school. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Nope. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No, even though I know I'm very clingy. Do you like vitamin water? I've never tried it. Do you think too little or too much? Waaaay too much. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? Lake. Do you ever keep arguing when you know you’re wrong? It can make me feel embarrassed, but in most cases, I'm quick to drop it. Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She'd be confused as fuck considering she knows I'm not with a guy. Are you ticklish? Ugh yes. What do you think of dating websites? They work for some people, but, in general, I don't think they're the greatest idea when you consider how many desperate people there are. Now yes, there's most certainly sincere ones, but. I think you'd have to do some fishing to find the right person. Which show is better: SpongeBob Squarepants or The Fairly Odd Parents? Duuuude the latter. Show was dope my dude. Think you could cut off your own foot if it meant saving your leg? To save my leg, I think so. Well... I dunno, I guess it depends on the situation. I'd be concerned about blood loss. What is the worst thing about having a pet? Knowing they'll die. Have you ever actually seen someone fall on a banana peel? No. Do moths freak you out? They're absolutely beautiful to me, but at the same time, the size of their eyes are a liiittle bit creepy. Did you ever cut your own hair when you were little? No. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Who last messaged you on Facebook? Bethany to let me know when the new wedding date was. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Both twice. Do you own any clothing that has animal print? No. Does your family eat dinner together? Almost always. What was the last video game you played? Silent Hill 3. Have you ever touched a shark? No. Do you prefer writing in print or cursive? I write mostly in cursive. Do you have any family traditions? Like what? Not that we still do. What is the best time you’ve ever had with your family? I'm not positive. Maybe some summer days when we'd all be swimming and cooking out together. What’s the scariest experience you’ve ever had? The night of the breakup. No overdose or panic attack or anything was scarier than when I realized he was leaving. What’s your favorite computer game? World Of Warcraft kms. What’s the biggest mistake people make on the first date? Just my personal opinion, but some people get sexual way too fast. If you're looking for an actual, long-lasting relationship, you have to connect more emotionally. Do you get turned on easily? It depends on who you are, definitely. Some people can't do anything, yet another person can do the same thing and I'm turned on in an instant. Do you still like to color? Not especially. What’s your favorite children’s show? Pokemon. Would you ever get band artwork tattooed on you? Metallica has some badass designs, but I don't know. Eh, actually, that may be something I'd get whenever my mom passes away considering her quote, "All I need in life are my babies and Metallica," and I think she means it lmao. No one loves them more than this woman. Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened? The biggest crush I had that didn't go anywhere was on Sebastian in high school, but I don't know about "so much?" Like I wasn't desperate to be together. Has the last person you kissed met your family? My mom, Dad, and Nicole. Hopefully Ashley and the kids if her husband doesn't wanna be a homophobic shit. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my dad. What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? I was in the worst state of my life. Approaching my suicide attempt, so I was having the thoughts badly by that point. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I better be a skinny legend with bomb-ass hair and more tats, boo. What would be number one on your bucket list? Touch a wild meerkat. Probably a pup above all. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I dunno. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? Lol how old is this??? I used to. Do you call anybody ‘baby’? Literally all my pets and Sara. Where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Uhhhh I guess somewhere in Disney World??? Are your parents night owls or morning birds? I guess the latter is more accurate. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? Somewhere online. I found it on Facebook, don't recall the site it led to. Are you easy to get along with? I think and hope so. I'm very accepting. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time. What’s your biggest passion? SPREADING POSITIVITY!!!!! Have you ever thrown your phone in anger? I believe I might have once when Jason and I were arguing?? If I did, it definitely wasn't that hard. I have a vague memory of throwing in onto the carpeted floor.

[jisungshi]

KCON LA 2017 : Day 2 Recap (Sunday) THE DAY I WAS ACKNOWLEDGED BY MEME KING LEGEND, JISuNGSSI!!!!

Alright so let’s get this recap started because Kcon LA 2017 Sunday was the best day of my life, it was absolutely magical. But anyways, woke up in the morning and scrambled to get a sign made for my beloved Jisungssi and also kard (which i painted the words onto the back). I used the image above as my image for Jisung’s sign btw and it was glorious lol. I get to the convention at like 11-ish and I gave up trying to get rid of my Oh My Girl audience pass. But anyways, didn’t end up entering into the convention cuz it was freaking crowded. And it was all because Wanna One was going to show up to innisfree and man the sea of people that were waiting for them was insaneeee. Anyways, I only caught a glimpse of them from the back and it was pretty much impossible to even see there faces. Right after they left, people started going to the star sign area (where lucky winners who bought merch or wona raffle) were able to get a high five from them. So yea, I gave up on trying to see Kard again (which is alright because I’ve seen their amazingness already). But yea I made a spot for myself waiting at the Star Sign place for like four hours. Thank god I ate beforehand so I wouldn’t pass out. Met some really nice people and also got a cute little sungwoon photo card thanks to fans. One of the guys working at the booth (I remember his name was William) was trying to entertain us and pretty much judged us for waiting there for like four hours. But like, it’s Wanna One so why wouldn’t we??? But yea William the worker was making small talk and he said he was like 19 or some shit and then also said that his brother was best friends with Seventeen’s Joshua, which is cool. Apparently Joshua was a fat kid lmao and then he cut when he had to be a trainee. Anyways, we wait and wait and wait. And finally, the time comes when Wanna One appears and I was SHOOKETH. I was helping my friend hold up a guanlin fan sign (it just had his face on it) and he def saw it and had RBF but I think he was just nervous lmao. And btw they all look fcking gorgeous irl, ONG’s visuals S L A Y E D. But anyways, they talk and introduce themselves but I can’t hear shit because everyone’s screaming. And then they start the hi touch session and im still waving this meme sign. And finally at the end, Jisung burst out in laughter and pointed out my sign to Ha Sungwoon, I FELT BLESSED BECAUSE HE NOTICED IT. But yea they said their goodbyes and waved. And all the people that were around me just sprinted off to follow them. Wannables are crazy ok. I’m a Hidden Kard too but our fandom is overall, pretty chill. Anyways, after standing for so long I feel like my legs could give out and the fact that I was noticed by Jisung already made me cry. While i was heading out I hit more luck because some girl was selling Wanna one albums and I asked her if she had any open ones. And the one pink album left had all jisung stuff in it and I happily handed over 20 bucks which came with not only the album but also the poster - it was so worth it. Fast forward to concert time, me and my friend managed to make it all the way to p1 seats without getting kicked out of the concert like at all. Pre Show was chill but I can’t remember much of it. But the show opens and like all artists appear on the stage and I’m dead because it’s wanna one and kard and heize the baeeees. Anyways, the stage starts of with Kard performing, being wonderful. Somin, Jiwoo and J.Seph noticed my sign for Kard for a few seconds while they were performing and the crowd was also hella cute because we sang Happy Birthday for Somin. She looked so teary eyed but it was adorable. I finally got to see Hola Hola live and it was amazzzingggg. Next comes out Oh My Girl. They were super cute but I don’t know their music much, mainly only Windy day and A-ing cuz of Twice’s cover. The girls were underrated but hella cute. Next up is solo goddess Heize who sang her heart out. She started crying when everyone lit up their cell phones to show her support!!! We get some MC cuts and like idols are actually up in the aisles talking and like THEY WERE SO CLOSE. Anyways, onward, WANNA ONE FINALLY DOES THEIR MAGIC AND PERFORM. They’re so freaking beautiful live, like god damn, seeing them irl versus a screen was so surreal. The crowd is wild too because Wanna One is goals. I saw a lot of Daniel signs while I was waving my Jisung one again. Anyways, they performed Energetic as well as Burn it Up. Then comes Astro performing, I’m not too familiar with their songs either but they were good. They did a collab stage with Kim Tae Woo (legend of korea). Kim Tae Woo then performs some of his hits. And then we get another special stage with JJ project and I actually adore this song more than GOT7′s group songs (pls don’t hate lol) but Jaebum and Jinyoung were great. And then Wanna One comes up again and the crowd was SHOOK, not only did they perform Never, they also did Nayana. And then it’s Astro’s turn to shake us all with their songs. They also did a pinata thing where they made their own shirts and for the ones they couldn’t toss into the pit, they got the shirt shooter and shot us kcon shirts signed by them. After they finish, NCT appears and the crowd is going wild. Even though I saw them in NY, I was so happy to see them perform Firetruck this time around. Plus, they’re fucking godly performers. They also perform Limitless and of course Cherry Bomb. The night ends with Got7 being the headliners. They also did a pinata thing where they proposed to lucky girls. Hell, Jackson even hugged two of them. Although I’m not really a got7 fan, they were great live and the crowd was majority got7 fans and there were so many of their lightsticks everywhere. Anyways, when it’s time for all the artists to come out, I FEEL SO BLESSED BECAUSE WANNA ONE WAS RIGHT IN MY VIEW. I kept trying to get Jisung to notice me and he finally did again and POintED RIghT AT ME!!!!! He whispered something to Jaehwan who smiled but I was doing the circle clap and Jisung reciprocated. AND I CAN CONFiRM ThaT I WASN’T Crazy BECAUSE THE PEOPLE BEHiND ME SAW hiM LOOKING AT ME TOO. I was noticed for the second time and I thought I could die. I was dead. I’ve been noticed by Jisungssi twice all thanks to making a meme-y sign. I can die happy. 

P.S. Ngl I’m pretty sure most of wanna one saw my jisung sign too, if I’m lucky, maybe I left a strong enough impression on him that when he gets interviewed about kcon LA, he’ll talk about me ;; hahahahahah dreams. (Woojin, Daniel and Ong all were looking in my direction too so im fcking shook) 

[whenthedayisdone]

Top 13 general artist's lyrics. Top movie/tv show quotes. im not gonna set a number for that cuz we'd be here forever

So, this incredibly weird human being right here got distracted and didn't read the entire question. Lmao

I thought you set the bar up at 13 quotes.

It took me forever. But that's okay, given how things are messy right now, this was a good distraction. Made me feel better. 😁

Here it goes.

My top 13 general lyrics - No particular order

1. You promised the world and I fell for it.

I put you first and you adored it.

Set fires to my forests and you let it burn.

Sang off key in my chorus cause it wasn't yours.

[...]

We'd always go into blindly.

I needed to lose you find me.

This dancing was killing me softly.

I needed to hate you to love me.

Lose you to love me - Selena Gomes

2. And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand.

When everything is meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls.

3. It's not always rainbows and butterflies

It's compromise that moves us along.

She will be loved - Maroon 5

4. Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you.

Caught up in circles. Confusion is nothing new

Flashback, warm nights. Almost left behind.

Suitcase of memories. Time after...

[...]

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me.

Time after time.

If you fall, I'll catch you. I'll be waiting.

Time after time.

Time after time - Cindy Lauper

5. Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by.

Total eclipse of the heart - Bonnie Tyler

6. Funny, you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving.

Cause when you never see the light, it's hard to know which one of us is caving.

Stay - Rihanna

7. I don't care if hurts. I wanna have control.

I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.

I want you notice when I'm not around.

You're so fucking special.

I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo.

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here.

Creep - Radiohead

8. I remember the day you told me you were leaving.

I remember the make-up running down your face.

And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them.

Like every single wish we ever made.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things.

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I never can escape.

Cause I'm not fine at all.

Amnesia - 5 seconds of summer.

8. We are searchlights, we can see in the dark.

We are rockets, pointed up at the stars.

We are billions of beautiful hearts.

What about us - Pink

9. And all those things I didn't say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me.

Fight song - Rachel Platten

10. Forget what I said. It's not what I meant.

And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left.

[...]

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

[...]

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

[...]

I get the feeling that you'll never need me again.

[...]

I'm well aware I write too many songs about you

[...]

It kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say.

Falling - Harry Styles

11. And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all.

Say something - A great big world & Cristina Aguilera

Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

[...]

I wonder when you go, if I stay on your mind.

Two could play that game, but you win me every time.

Everyone before you was a waste of time.

Break my heart - Dua Lipa

12. You can't expect me to be fine.

I don't expect you to care.

I know I've said it before, but all of our bridges burned down.

Payphone - Maroon 5

13. When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

[...]

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you.

Fix you - Coldplay

My top 13 quotes - No particular order

1. Sometimes family is more than just the people under your roof. They’re people who jump in, head first, who aren’t afraid to make fools of themselves to help you, who don’t hide their faces in shame if you fall down.

Alison Hendrix - Orphan Black

Bonus to this one on this show:

Sarah: Whose side are you on, S?

Siobhan: Yours, love. It's always been yours.

2. At the end of the day, you are who you are. And it's probably who you have always been.

Brooke Davis - One tree hill

Bonus:

"So, I’ve been thinking about this whole being happy thing, and I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy; we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that will fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness more often."

Julian Baker

3. In peace may you leave this shore.

In love may you find the next.

Safe passage in all your travels.

Until our final journey to the ground,

May we meet again. - The 100

Bonus: Yu Gonplai ste odon. (Your fight is over) - The 100

Honorable mention: "We're back, bitches!" Octavia Blake

4. You are my favorite thing, Peter. My very favorite thing.

Walter Bishop - Fringe

Bonus:

I know what it's like to have a hole in my life. It's been there for as long as I can remember. Olivia Dunham

5. I know how hard it is when everything we know to be true changes. But sometimes all we can do is just accept the way things are, and make the best of that.

Kara Denvers - Supergirl

Bonus:

Forgiveness isn’t something that you give to somebody who’s hurt you. Forgiveness is something you give to yourself.

Alex Denvers

6. Just because life isn’t what you want it to be right now, doesn’t mean you should tear it down.

Regina Mills - Once upon a time

Bonus:

People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say, "No, this is who I am". You want people to look at you differently? Make them! You want to change things, you're gonna have to go out there and change them yourself, because there are no fairy godmothers in this world.

Emma Swan

7. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a step back and give yourself a chance to breathe.

Ella Montgomery - Pretty Little Lies

Bonus:

I am just really tired of living in a state of permanent anxiety.

Spencer Hastings

8. Don't wish away your life, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Shelby Corcoran - Glee

Bonus:

Being part of something special does not make you special; something is special because you are a part of it.

Rachel Berry

9. We probably judge ourselves way harsher than anyone judges us.

Ana Gutierrez - The fosters

Bonus:

DNA doesn't make a family, Love does.

Lena Adams Foster

10. You spend your whole life looking for answers because you think the next answer will solve all your problems: make you a little less miserable, because when you run out of questions you don't just run out of answers... you run out hope.

Gregory House - House M.D

Bonus:

I need her in my life. Do you know what it's like to need someone?

I'm sorry I pushed you away. It's what I do when I'm afraid.

Gregory House

11. Being aware of your crap and actually overcoming your crap are two different things.

Cristina Yang - Grey's Anatomy

Bonus:

Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy but he's not the sun. You are. - Cristina Yang

Honorable mention: You are my person.

Meredith Grey & Cristina Yang (occasionally, Alex Karev but we're pretending he's dead now, so...)

12. If you leave, then I don't want you to come back. It's too hard saying goodbye like this.

Marissa Cooper - The OC

Bonus:

I can't change where I'm from, but I can change where I'm going.

Ryan Atwood

So, sarcasm’s like breathing for you.

Ryan Atwood

Honorable mention: I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

Seth Cohen

13. If we can't live together, we're going to die alone.

Jack Shephard

Bonus: Don't tell me what I can't do.

John Locke

Honorable mention: Freckles.

Sawyer (James Ford)