#Like it’s the good thing when it’s not) Anyways it ruins u if ur tortured through it mentally

[mommyhorror]

😞thinking about Elliot page & Amanda bynes & Britney Spears & Shelley duvall & Jennette McCurdy

[spacexseven]

would demon dazai n chuuya ever join forces and share a darling? i imagine itd be a huge mess if they both took interest in the same darling so im curious if you think theyd be able to share or if all hell breaks loose once they find out theyre going after the same person :3c

love this au, ure doing a great job ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ

hello user teethsies!! its always nice to hear from u huehue ^^ for more demon bsd content, check out the #demon au 🐟 tag!

cw: yandere characters + themes, violence

according to your very reliable source, the ritual was only supposed to summon one (1) demon.

but inhabiting your space now was not one, but two demons.

you tried to calm yourself down first before either of them could fully realize what had happened. maybe they were a package deal—unable to summon one without the other tagging alone, and you could ask them nicely to go back so you could summon the one you wanted. or maybe it didn't matter. the reason why you wanted to summon a demon didn't change just because there were two now, anyway, so as long as they were bound to you (at least, that was what was supposed to happen), you could make them do your bidding and promise to send them back right after.

but of course, none of that happened. for starters, your new housemates abhorred each other, and your so-called binding had no effect on them. it seemed you had, instead of summoning a particular demon, opened up a portal of some sort that the two happened to come across, which meant that you held no power over them.

to make it all worse, they were both completely deranged.

you're not sure what you were expecting from a demon, but it was foolish of you to think they didn't deal in trickery and torment. dazai was a master in both, somehow able to even make an invitation to stay in his torture chamber enticing (until you, fortunately, snapped out of it and realized just what that would entail). chuuya, though he never threatened you, had a permanent sneer on his face, and from the little conversation you overheard between him and dazai, was also no stranger to violent, cruel tactics.

it didn't matter why you wanted to summon them. dazai finds it silly anyway, whether it was for revenge or curiosity, the fact that you believed you could do such a thing and still be alive by the end of it was almost cute, and chuuya had made sure you knew how angry he was that you thought you could boss him around. regardless, they were here now, and...they were refusing to leave.

in retrospect, it was quite obvious when they were starting to take interest in you. dazai had always been a little too interested in you, apart from studying your clipped nails, which were completely different from his own claw-like ones, and constantly pointing out how small and human you looked, dazai found everything about you entertaining. he especially liked to make you frustrated, turning off your computer in the middle of your game, mixing salt into your sugar, hiding away your phone—little things that ruined your day,

chuuya, on the other hand, was a little harder to figure out. he seemed to hold a grudge against you, but there were times where he'd be almost...nice. after a particularly rough day or a night where you couldn't sleep thanks to someone deciding to also sleep right on top of you, you'd wake up to see your favorite drink waiting for you and all of dazai's usual tricks sorted out in advance. of course, he wasn't completely innocent. he had his own fair share of tricks, though never as bad as dazai's. chuuya was also a lot more familiar with the human world, and provided surprisingly good advice when you needed it.

the problem with the whole arrangement is that dazai cannot share anything, let alone his new human toy. he's suffocatingly possessive, and painfully competitive, constantly wanting you to spend more time with him and be nicer to him and smile more at him and—it went on. once he realizes that chuuya's warming up to you, he immediately starts plotting for damage control. he tries to send chuuya back and convince you that chuuya was only going to hurt you. while chuuya isn't opposed to the idea, dazai's hostility on spurs him on. having the two of you like the same darling will only end up in a lot of fighting.

[yappinggggg]

Wanted to share my thoughts on who everything did stuff wrong and why :>

(I havent finished the novel just yet so there might be some errors)

Also: Spoiler warning

The count and countness:

Their intentions were right but what they did wasn't really right. I mean- i understand completely that they didnt want harm Deon and all... but come on- Deon didnt even know about any of that. They could have sat him down- or written him a letter- and explain why they treated him differently than Cruel. Or maybe shown that they cared in a bit more obvious way? Of course no parent is perfect but i think they really messed it up while they could have still saved Deon somewhat

Duke Illuster:

This man is unfixable. What he did was so- idk how to put it into words. His greed alone was the reason Deon even got involved with the demon king, emperor and the war. Dude could have done something else but he seems to desperately want some powers fast. He should be tortured the same way Deon was - he should feel what its like to be in Deons position. (He wouldnt feel it exactly like Deon but somehow grasp it)

Next on to Nemeseus:

I really dislike him and ill explain why.

First of all: he simply blamed poor Deon for giving himself a split personality- like dude? He was a CHILD- what did u expect? He wanted to live and that was the only way he managed to survive!

Second: he only tried stepping in to check up on Deon when it was too late- u saw him the whole time. U witnessed what he saw and did on the battlefield- and u feel that u have the right to judge Deon?

Third: he called a broken child a monster(i mean Deon here)- what did this man expect Deon to do? He wanted to live- can u blame him for choosing this?

Emperor:

I think what showed the most how f***ed up this man is is that he killed all his siblings because of something he didnt even verify if that was true. He had the ability to do that- even if he was mad and blinded by emotions at the time- there was a better way.

Theres also the part where he actively manipulates Deon and gaslights him but i dont think i need to say much to this- we all saw what he did :>

The princess and prince:(yes,they get included)

The fact that they decided to just accept what their uncle did and forgive him is pretty messed up, if u ask me. Sure- family is family, but come on guys. He killed ur parents even when he didnt know if he was right fully killing them.

And they decided to just- help him with his plans? Support the things he did to Deon?

Not only support: they actively tried hard themselves to manipulate Deon

Of course: they are still young and so on but i think they could certainly have made a better decsion.

But i cant really blame them for choosing to stay and support their uncle- afterall they only had him and themselves. They also probably wouldnt have lasted long either if they hadnt accepted their uncles offer. Their chances of living a good life would literally drop down so much

Demon king (cant leave our toxic king out of this):

This man is a demon so he obviously is known to be cruel and so on.

Also since he had lived for for a thousand years so he is obviously bored to death- and he doesnt care about life anyway so why would he start caring for Deon? And why would he care about the fact that he ruined Deons life?(at least took part in it)

Edit: adding to the dk

So i found out that he actually cared for Deon....

Like what :D THATS NOT HOW U TREAT THE PERSON U LIKE but he was nice to Deon most of the time so he may get forgiven (lmao)

[Sorry,i dont know much about the demon king right now so i cant say much about him ):>]

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[trickstercheebs]

⬤ with AGP? Lov u and ur fics

⬤: being called soft things like baby, sweetheart or honey

“Feetman you there?” “Huh..?”

“I asked if you were still alive over there dumbass...you kinda spacin out on me alot right now, you wanna go to sleep that badly just say something. You look bit shit anyways.”

Gordon huffed, while it was true he felt a bit like shit today...might be because of his shitty eating habits or something else. His head felt heavy and stuffed and moving anywhere out of bed or anywhere else for the day felt like a chore future Gordon could deal with.

“Why you call me Feetman still dude? ...fuckin call me something else, anything will work at this point. The whole feet thing has run its course..”

“Wait anything goes?”

“...yea? Nothing gross though or I’m locking the phone and putting you under my mattress.”

“Got it..uhh....uhh gimme a minute this is outta nowhere bro.”

Benry was over the moon internally, he could choose a new nickname for Gordon and in his state he’d likely put up with anything. His little cyber heart pounded at the ideas that his mind flew immediately into the most sappiest names it could go for. My Darling, My Beloved, My reason for being, and so on and so forth... But Benry knew that’d be way to fucking gay, Gordon even in his sick stupor would get wise...

“Benry...? You die on me or something bro?”

“Nah I’m still here..just trying to think of something that beats Feetman.”

“Jesus christ...lemme know when you come up with something then...I need the laugh.”

Benry snorted and continued to think over the limitless names he could use, hell other languages were a option now too...He’d be stuck for a long while thinking things over. Enough time had passed that by the time Benry had narrowed it down to his top 20 nicknames, he heard soft snoring coming from the other side of the screen.

“Bro...? Gordon you still awake? .....Fuck.”

“...sweetheart? Darling? Bae? Hellooo..?”

Nope..none of those got Gordon to stir.....welllll he did know one way to test things out without Gordon being fully wise about it. Benry grinned to himself, time to pay a visit to dreamland and have some fun with Gordon.

----

Gordon was wandering some odd looking field...had he been here before? Was the grass so fucking weird looking? He knew he was waiting for something to happen, but what his mind was clearly forgetting. So he kept on walking on and on, least the weather was nice...Least until he nearly falls off the sudden drop off cliff.

“Whoa!! ....Holy shit...that was close, almost fucking fell o-SHIT!”

Of course standing so close to the edge, the ground beneath him gave way, almost as he said the magic words. Gordon screamed as he pitched forwards towards the far ground miles below.

Or least he thought he was falling? Instead he felt himself slow until the only thing he felt was a soft breeze and opened his eyes. The scenery had changed drastically, and now he knew where he was instantly.

He was back in Xen once more...he had a feeling what was going on.

“Benry....Benry bro where are you man? Come on out alright?”

“Aw you ruined my awesome ass entrance babe...oh well.”

Benry of course was behind him like always, and of course he was huge, least he was dressed in something more casual than his damn guard outfit. Shorts and a blue hoodie..but of course the damn helmet was still-wait. Wait what did he just call him?

“Wait what did you just say?”

“That...you ruined my entrance?”

“No...no did, did you just call me babe?”

“...No? You want me to? I can work with that darling.”

Benry grinned and floated over to scoop Gordon up into his arms as Gordon processed everything in rapid fire.

“Wait, darling???”

“Yeah? What’s wrong sunshine? You feelin alright? You lookin lil red there.”

Gordon could feel the blush working itself up his neck and to his temples the more Benry talked...What the fuck was going on, why was he being called so many cute nicknames suddenly???

“Dude..what the shit?? No no stopp do not call me babe or darling holy shit.”

“Why not? You seem to be liking em just fine~ You want me to try something else~?”

Benry was having a time watching Gordon keep his shit together and failing miserably at it. It was clear he liked the names and now tried to hide his face from the other while smacking his hands.

“Noooo fuck off with that! I’d take anything else but that jesus christ Benry...”

“Annnnything?”

“.....wait shit no, no nonono Dont you dare!”

“Too late you already said~!!”

Benry laughed and shifted to bring Gordon up closer, holding him captive between both hands to prevent him shielding himself from what was about to come next. Benry brought Gordon closer still and kissed his stomach and face gently as possible, the effects were immediate as Gordon turned crimson, complaining loudly about being tortured.

“Pfft whats wrong Gordon? Can’t handle some rough treatment? jeeze you told me to pick out a new name.”

Gordon huffed and let himself be settled against Benrys face where he could feel the other grinning against him...Apparently his dreams wanted to torture him here too, but in a wholly other manner.

Wait. If Benry could pull this shit.....then so could he in theory.

“Fine...M....my songbird.”

“Wh-wh??”

Now it was Benrys turn to sputter and turn red, pulling Gordon away to stare openly at him.

“Bro th’fuck did you just call me????”

“...My songbird....since y-you know because of the sweet voice. Do you want me to call you something like...My beloved guard? Or...or how about uhh...my darling sunshine?”

“gk- G....Gordon that’s fuckin cheating...that is fuckin so not fair..”

“How is it cheating my dear heart?”

Benry was about to shut down from the heat radiating off his face...holy fuck Gordon was good at this...Shit shit shit he needed to come up with something quick to turn the tide back in his favor....maybe. Hearing Gordon call him such things made his heart ache so sweetly.

Fuck it..Gordon could have this round. Instead he opted to tug Gordon back to give him not one but several more kisses of varying degrees, while Gordon laughed and squirmed to playfully get away.

“Fu-fuck no stop that tickles! Benry c’mon!! I won that round how come you get to keep being a ass!”

“Maybe when you get as big as me then you can call the shots...My heart shine~”

Gordon woke up some untold hours later feeling better..but so unfairly flustered about that dream he couldn’t look Benry in the face until the next damn day.

[rrrawrf-writes]

🕸 for any character!

hello hello hello here this is, fifty thousand years late! thank u for ur patience ♡♡♡

from this game!

tw: blood, gore, whump/torture, animal death, human death, swearing

—

Sometimes, Commander Tibur Dayehmon of the Cordellan Royal Guard thought about killing his king.

Not seriously, of course. But on long, cold nights like this, when Dayehmon had to leave the warmth of his wife behind in the middle of the night and race halfway across the country to track down his charge, he seriously considered strangling the king. Shoving him off a cliff. Letting him drown in the river Finns.

It would be easy. No one would suspect the king’s lifelong friend and bodyguard to poison his morning tea.

Too bad Dayehmon had morals. 

He was wistfully reminiscing about his wife and the day they were supposed to have in the king’s mountain retreat, when his horse fell, and he fell with it.

The animal let out a high-pitched scream as they tumbled down into a pit that shouldn’t have been there, dug deep into the road. Dayehmon was too securely seated in the saddle; instead of being thrown, he hit the ground with the horse, its weight hitting his leg, and leaving an audible crunch that had Dayehmon crying out in pain.

The horse was louder. It must have snapped one of its own legs in the fall, because it screamed and thrashed, unable to get back to its feet. Dayehmon cursed and yelled, as every heave and twist of its body further crushed his own bones into dust.

He swallowed his own pain - or tried to - and leaned forward as best as he could. His shoulder hurt, too, and his neck, but if the horse kept on like this, it would probably kill him. He ran his free hand along its neck, trying to soothe it, wishing he was in a position to put the poor damn thing out of its misery.

It finally stopped thrashing, at least, but Dayehmon was still trapped; every few moments, the horse let out a cry of pain. He felt much the same way. He fell back against the ground, soft from being recently dug, and sighed.

A bandit’s trap, mostly likely, and he hadn’t noticed anything in the dark. The pit was a good ten feet deep, and wide enough to hold the horse and Dayehmon both. After a long moment, Dayehmon pushed against the horse’s withers, trying to get himself free.

The pain blinded him. He couldn’t stop a sob from clawing out of his throat, as the shattered bones in his trapped leg ground against each other.

He definitely wasn’t going anywhere.

One of his swords was trapped under him, the hilt digging painfully into his side. Dayehmon wriggled around to move it to somewhere more comfortable. He craned his neck, trying to see all the things his pack had thrown loose when they fell, and found a handful of the beacon sticks scattered across the ground.

Just out of reach.

Someone above gave a soft call. “We caught someone!”

Someone. Dayehmon groaned and dropped his head against the dirt again. He slipped his knife into his palm as a head stuck out over the edge of the pit.

“Damn. Worked like you said it would, Orev.”

“Told ya. Did this during the war.”

Eolan accents. Dayehmon clenched his jaw as two more people joined the first, then closed his eyes. The horse, startled, let out a shrill whinny and writhed. Dayehmon bit his tongue until it bled, doing everything he could to stay still, act like he couldn’t feel the horse’s tense, powerful muscles grind against his leg. Whatever was left of it, anyway.

“Musta died during the fall,” someone muttered. There was the sound of shifting dirt and footsteps; the Eolans, sliding down into the pit.

“I dunno, coulda swore I saw him breathing earlier.”

“It’s dark as hell out here, I’m surprised you even saw him. Never seen a Padrunni on a horse.”

“I don’t think he looks Padrunni, look at his hair.”

There was another sharp, scraping sound, and Dayehmon could see light flaring despite his closed eyes. Someone hissed, and said, “Look at his badge.”

Dayehmon slit his eyes open the barest amount. One of the Eolans crouched in front of him, and pushed at his shoulder, trying to see the badge in question. “Well, shit. He’s part of the witchking’s guard.”

Snake-like, Dayehmon’s hand snapped out and wrapped around the Eolan’s shirt, yanking him close. He swept his knife up to the man’s neck, and the bandit froze, eyes wide, as the other two swore and reached for their own weapons.

The movement and noise startled the horse again, and it heaved its body, braying hoarsely and lashing out with its hooves. Dayehmon sucked in a pained breath as the horse’s weight lifted, and then fell back onto his leg; his hands spasmed from the pain, and the bandit he’d caught jerked back and away from him. 

“Damn it, kill that thing!” one of them snapped at the others. Dayehmon went for a knife in his other sleeve, but before he could do anything, the Eolan punched him in the jaw.

He blacked out, momentarily; there was an ear-piercing squeal from the horse, but then, finally, it had stopped moving. When Dayehmon managed to blink the stars from his eyes, he saw one of the bandits wrench a spear out of the horse.

“Part of the witchking’s guard, huh?” sneered the spearman. His voice belonged to the one someone else had called Orev, and he poked Dayehmon’s ribs with his spear, the barbed head of it covered in the horse’s blood and gore. “Bring that light over.”

Dayehmon shut his eyes as the pain in his jaw sharpened from the light now right in his face. His head pounded, but it wasn’t as heavy as the sick knot in his stomach.

Orev crouched down next to Dayehmon, fearlessly within his reach. “Badge from the royal guard, and those ugly scars down that mug of yours,” he remarked, drawing his own fingers down his cheek in mimicry of the three stark white lines that marked the side of Dayehmon’s face. “I’ve seen you. Followin’ after the cursed witchking, lickin’ every one of his footsteps.”

Dayehmon narrowed his eyes at Orev. “Funny,” he bit out, doing everything he could to keep his voice level and calm. “I don’t remember you.”

That was the wrong thing to say. Orev’s lip curled, and he stood up, before driving the butt of his spear into Dayehmon’s side. Dayehmon bit down on a curse as he felt something snap.

“You wouldn’t,” Orev snarled, and hit him again. “There weren’t enough people left alive in that village for any of you to take note.”

He jerked his chin towards the other two. “Get that damn horse off him. We’re gonna have some fun tonight.”

Dayehmon clenched his jaw. He glanced again towards the beacon sticks, and as the other two highwaymen discussed how to move the horse, he shifted slightly, trying to move close enough to reach the beacon sticks - and, like he’d expected, he drew Orev’s attention. 

The spear came down on Dayehmon’s hand, the metal tip slicing straight through and pinning it to the ground. He couldn’t help the cry of pain this time.

“The hell are those s’posed to be?” Orev demanded, holding his light over to get a better look at the beacon sticks. Dayehmon clenched his jaw and didn’t answer, just breathing through the pain. He let out a sharp hiss as the other bandits finally started to drag at the horse, its weight sliding along his ruined leg one last time.

If he didn’t die from infection from the damn spear, he’d never be able to use that leg again.

“Nothing,” Dayehmon said hoarsely. Orev squinted at him suspiciously, then scoffed, and brought his heel down on the scattered beacon sticks, breaking three or four at once.

Dayehmon smiled.

“More of your witchery?” Orev sneered. He didn’t notice how the shattered pieces of the beacon sticks clung to his boot; even if Dayehmon died, they’d be able to track Orev down. “But you aren’t a witch, are you?”

“You really shouldn’t be complaining about magecraft when you’re on our side of the border,” Dayehmon pointed out. 

Orev yanked the spear out of Dayehmon’s hand. Dayehmon whined like a beaten dog, pulling his arm to his chest on instinct. Orev kicked him.

“This is our land,” he snarled. “You bastards stole it from us. You have no rights here.”

Dayehmon tried to push himself up, pain squeezing tears from the corners of his eyes. “We won it -”

“You witches burned every village from here all the way down the Roar,” Orev hissed. He reached down, one strong hand wrapping around Dayehmon’s shirt, and pulled him a bit closer. A burn scar cascaded across the side of Orev’s neck, disappearing underneath his shirt collar. “You’ll pay for your crimes. All of them.“

He shoved Dayehmon against the side of the pit and straightened up. Panting for breath, Dayehmon watched the three bandits warily, trying to decide if it was worth it to try and stab one of them. His leg was crushed and his hand was ruined and he was pretty sure he had a broken rib, so it wasn’t like he was getting out of here any time soon.

He may as well make them miserable.

“Damn, this is water-steel.” One of the other bandits picked up Dayehmon’s second sword; he’d had it strapped to the horse instead of his back, and the woman gave a whistle as she drew the blade a couple inches out of the sheath. Dayehmon’s good hand twitched.

“They’re cursed,” he said blandly, and the Eolan woman jumped and dropped it.

Orev scoffed. “Don’t listen to him,” he snapped at her, and kicked Dayehmon’s crushed leg. Dayehmon closed his eyes against a burst of stars. “You can’t curse swords.”

“You can, actually.” Dayehmon cradled his bleeding, ruined hand to his chest. Orev scoffed again and reached down, grabbing the hilt of Dayehmon’s sword that still hung at his hip - though very awkwardly, now.

As he pulled the blade free, Dayehmon slipped his second knife from his sleeve and stabbed him in the chest. Or at least he tried to - armor hidden by the man’s shirt and the shadows of the night shunted the blade to the side, and it slipped deep into Orev’s shoulder, instead.

The bandit howled from pain and jumped back, pulling the knife from Dayehmon’s hand before he had a chance to yank it out and try again. Swearing, Orev clamped his hand around the short blade; blood welled up between his fingers, and in retaliation, Orev slammed his spear into Dayehmon’s shoulder.

He must have blacked out again, because the next thing Dayehmon felt was the awful, tearing pain as Orev pulled the barbed spearhead free from his body. “You piece of shit,” Orev seethed. He dragged the bloody spearhead across Dayehmon’s chest. “You’ll pay for that. Give you some new scars to even your ugly mug out, yeah?”

Dayehmon flinched as the spear tapped against his scarred cheek; the lines went down his neck and under his collar, too, and Orev asked, “Wonder how far down those go?”

“Only my wife knows that,” Dayehmon quipped, breathless and unable to see straight - unable to think straight from the pain.

Orev snorted, and then he spat, a glob of saliva landing on Dayehmon’s shirt.

“Let’s get him out of here and off the road,” Orev ordered the other two bandits. “Grab his things. Maybe this witch-worshipping filth has something else worth keeping.”

Dayehmon watched one of the bandits scramble awkwardly out of the pit, the soft, loose dirt giving them some trouble. The woman gathered everything together, stuffing it back haphazardly into Dayehmon’s pack. She crumpled the few remaining beacon sticks as she did, and Dayehmon wondered where the hell Mafvin was - would he even be close enough to sense the broken sticks?

He dropped his head back against the wall of the pit. The pain was overwhelming, but he tried to press his bloody hand to his bloody shoulder, a weak attempt at staunching the flow. None of it hurt worse than his crushed leg, spikes of pain radiating from his knee; it had taken the brunt of the damage from the horse’s fall.

He didn’t notice the rope until Orev fastened it around his neck. Dayehmon’s eyes snapped open, and the bandit grinned down at him. “I was worried you were gone,” he said, and pressed his foot down on Dayehmon’s shattered knee. Gasping, Dayehmon couldn’t help but writhe from the added pain. “Stay awake, bastard.”

Orev stepped back, taking the pressure off of Dayehmon’s leg, and called up to the other two bandits, now both out of the pit, “Haul him out.”

The rope tightened around Dayehmon’s throat. He sucked in a breath; ignoring the screaming from his shoulder, he reached up with his unharmed hand, trying to fit a finger in between the rope and his neck as they dragged him upwards. Struggling weakly, Dayehmon gasped for breath, his vision going white. He tried to get his good leg underneath him, to take some of the pressure off his windpipe, but that only lasted long enough for him to get a quick breath of air, before the pulling took over again.

It felt like an eternity before Dayehmon was on his back again, on level ground and staring up at the stars through tears-blurred eyes. He pulled feebly at the taut rope around his neck, but one of the bandits he couldn’t see kept the pressure just tight enough to make every breath a struggle.

He could see the female bandit out of the corner of his eye, pacing over to the pit to reach down; Orev scrambled up a moment later.

“Still awake?” Orev ground the butt of his spear into Dayehmon’s shoulder, prompting a whimper from the guard. Orev grinned. “Good. We still got a ways to go, and I ain’t wasting the time to put you on a horse. Better keep breathing.”

He looked away from Dayehmon and opened his mouth to call to the others. Whatever words were going to come out instead turned into a strangled shriek as thorny vines burst from the middle of the road, snaking up Orev’s legs. The other bandits shouted in alarm, and the rope around Dayehmon’s neck slackened as they dropped it, the holder running to Orev instead. They didn’t get very far - another set of lashing vines grabbed them and pulled them to the ground.

Dayehmon dropped his head to the ground, an awful, hysterical laugh clawing its way out of his throat. He could feel, more than hear, the vibrating of hooves, galloping along the road, and he dropped his head to one side to see the white socks of his king’s horse skid to a stop.

“Tibur!” More plants curled around Dayehmon now - but they were free of spikes and thorns, far gentler with him than they were with the three bandits. Petal-soft vines wrapped gently around his bleeding shoulder, but living plants could do little to staunch blood flow, even when guided by the magic of Dayehmon’s king. A soft groan escaped him as he felt his head and shoulders gently lifted, Mafvin cradling Dayehmon in his lap.

“Tibur, I’m sorry,” Mafvin said, his green eyes wide and frantic as he pressed his hand to the plants covering Dayehmon’s bleeding shoulder. More wrapped around his hand, thinner and flowering, the petals pressing against the wounds. “I’m sorry, I - I didn’t meant to be gone for long - You should have stayed -”

Dayehmon forced a tired smile. It was difficult to focus on the king’s face; he closed his eyes for a moment, and shivered when he felt the rope wrapped around his neck slither away. “Wherever you go, your majesty,” Dayehmon panted, “I follow.”

“I know.” Mafvin dropped his head, bowing until his forehead pressed against Dayehmon’s. Something wet fell against the bodyguard’s scarred cheek. “I know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t - I shouldn’t have run off -”

“It’s all right.” Dayehmon forced a grin, the expression pulled crooked by his scars. “Think this is the fastest I’ve found you again in years.”

A cracked laugh clawed its way out of Mafvin’s throat. He pressed his lips to the corner of Dayehmon’s mouth; Dayehmon tried to lift a hand, but the pain was too much, and he dropped it again with a wince. All the thoughts he had, all the anger and annoyance at Mafvin running off again, had long disappeared. He was just glad the king was here now.

The king looked up at a choked-off curse, and his face hardened as he remembered the bandits, all caught up in spiked vines. Orev struggled with a knife, trying to slice through the plants that held him captive, a couple of feet off the ground.

“You gods-fucking, murderous, monster,” the Eolan spat at Mafvin. “What are you gonna do to us?”

Mafvin’s voice was perfectly cold - but the vines around Orev loosened, just a fraction, just enough to give the bandit hope. “I promised I would take no more lives after the Desolation.”

“Promises mean nothin’, with a cowardly witch like you,” Orev sneered. Mafvin’s face became stone.

“You’re right,” he said softly. Dayehmon watched the king raise his hand, and then closed it into a fist. He closed his eyes, sighing with a motion that cracked his ribs even more. 

A sickening crunch of bones, and a cry of pain that was cut short into a gurgle, as the vines wrapped themselves tighter and tighter around the three bandits. Dayehmon had killed his fair share of people, and seen even more die, in horrible ways - but he turned his face into Mafvin’s shirt, grasping the cloth weakly with one hand until the screams and cries fell silent.

King Mafvin was not physically strong enough to pick Dayehmon up, but he did anyway, lifting the guard with supernatural ease. As gentle as he was, Dayehmon still let out a hiss of pain. 

“I’m sorry, Commander,” Mafvin whispered, as a wind rose around them, and along with it, the vertigo that came every time Mafvin magically transported them somewhere. With his injuries, Dayehmon didn’t think he could stand it; he moaned in pain and clutched even tighter at Mafvin. The king could do anything he wanted with his magic - anything, except heal. 

“Never again, Tibur. I promise. Never again.”

[normal-thoughts-official]

It's always dark Magnus this and evil Magnus that, what about Lorenzo? What if, he finds a way to twist the alliance rune and get to Magnus - through the man he loves? Maybe no one is sure how to remove it, but there's no way it can be used negatively right? But Lorenzo's determined to ruin Magnus' happy ending, maybe by making Alec hurt him or making him watch as Alec hurts himself, just whatever it takes to break Magnus. Even better if Alec and Magnus don't know it's him doing this to them

tbh I'm not a fan of dark anything unless it's supposed to be a villain to bring some angst and whump, so i dont even think lorenzo can be compared to "dark magnus" lmao, but otherwise yeah tbh i do love me some "being helpless as the person u love is hurt" whump woops

(im not saying that all characters have to be perfect or whatever, just that, you know, if theyre gonna torture/kill ppl for the shits and giggles thats not what im into thnx)

anyway yeah tbh using Alec or Raphael/Cat/Madzie to get to Magnus is probably a great revenge plan because you know how much he cares about protecting those he loves, how sometimes it's the only thing that makes him feel useful and worthy haha, so hurting them is not only as powerful as hurting Magnus, it's also making him feel helpless and useless and ensuring he's gonna torture himself and run himself thin trying to protect them and help them recover and 🙃

like you know Magnus is just lying by their bedside, depleting all his magic if needed be just to help them heal and just. crying and feeling useless and responsible, like they wont love him anymore, like they're gonna hate him for not doing enough, even as he's doing more than he can objectively stand

and not to stray completely from ur idea or acknowledge s3 raphael, but if u use mundane!Raphael from the end of the show then you have a very, very easy target that's guaranteed to hit Magnus super hard if he's hurt. so u know 🙃 (but he's gonna have to become a daylighter by the end djdndjdnjdndkdndk sorry not sorry i hate mundane Raphael with a passion it's not a happy ending for fucks sake aaaaa but also it can be double whump you know 🙃 like he's weak and useless and alone, he got to be a mundane again after all his family was dead, taking him away from what was now supposed to be his family, his clan, the immortal squad. he's seeing that as some kind of repenting opportunity and its a punishment and hes locked away from everyone at a fucking seminar, having even more hatred for himself drilled into him because fucking catholics, man, trust me id know, and then hes hurt and he also realizes that hes helpless haha) and Magnus feels like he fails him because when his boy was gone he thought at least he'd be safe, away from the hurt and memories of Camille, but instead Magnus brought more pain on him and hes so fragile now and god he can die

or going with the alliance rune idea is good too, especially if he gets Alec to hurt himself somehow (tbh I'm imagining Alec like lashing himself with his blade and Magnus like. running to him and holding him trying to stop him and so hes kind of standing in the way and Alec manages to stop because otherwise he hurts Magnus and so he snaps out of it because i love some cliche drama and also Alec is powerful and even more so when it comes to taking care of those he loves and we stan). and at first Magnus is just terrified thinking that Alec wants to hurt himself again, then once they figure out what happened he just feels guilty because Alec used the Alliance Rune for him, did it to protect him, and its his fault that Alec got hurt, even if Magnus managed to stop it before it got truly bad. Alec went this far to protect him and this is what he got in return; he brings nothing but pain for the people he loves

and we all know how Alec feels about losing control, especially of himself, of his body, of his will, so you know :)) he put Alec through his worst nightmare and for what? so that he could get this mess back? fuck.

and while Alec is physically fine, nothing a healing rune cant solve, he does hate feeling like hes not in control of himself, hates being at the mercy of others, and hates that he was used to hurt Magnus, one of the people he had sworn to protect. so they're just both desperately trying to comfort each other and hurting and 🙃

anyway they kill lorenzo probably and it has a happy ending but you know after lots of Amgst™

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[blookmallow]

and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline 

i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all.....  cicero’s heart 

-----

well

these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,

i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao

:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me 

hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho 

Dont woRRY About It

i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor 

anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood

i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER

so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ??  I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys 

then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND

EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY

i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god 

anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway

i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook

im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok 

i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it 

i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary

enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left) 

theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ | 

ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE

you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this 

[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED

i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....

(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, ) 

sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this 

we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him 

oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh

i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go, 

i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him

I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,

i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now 

i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)

im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for

he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............

darling..... calm down, :’) 

hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain

i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman 

he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though

i mean. not that i tried that or anything

he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this 

he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet 

“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid” 

having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful 

ur so cute when you’re threatening people

he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN

me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:

[avjinhyuk]

          hello  ,  everyone  !  it’s  so  exciting  to  be  here  as  i’ve  been  craving  a  muse  like  this  for  quite  some  time  ;  i’m  ally  ,  currently  i’m  nineteen  ,  &  i  use  she  /  her  pronouns  .  jinhyuk  is  my  big  baby  boy  even  though  he’s  definitely  not  a  baby  boy  &  will  want  to  kill  u  at  some  point  !  but  ,  despite  that  ,  i  hope  ur  open  to  plotting  with  him  &  getting  to  know  past  the  layers  (  because  onions  have  layers  &  jinhyuk  is  totally  an  onion  )  !  anyways  ,  if  u  would  like  to  plot  ,  just  hit  the  little  heart  button  &  i’ll  come  to  u  or  ur  welcome  to  come  to  me  !  my  discord  is  always  welcomed  to  be  asked  for  as  well  !

check  out  his  full  background  here  ,  his  stats  here  ,  &  TRIGGER WARNING  for  abuse  ,  torture  ,  &  suicide  .

background  (  condensed  )  .

grew  up  in  a  pretty  shitty  home  .  

at  first  ,  things  were  okay  despite  his  father  being  a  military  man  and  the  strict  rules  set  upon  jinhyuk  .  

his  mother  was  a  sweet  woman  ,  a  mutant  just  like  he  was  .  she  cared  for  jinhyuk  more  than  she  had  ever  cared  for  her  own  life  .  

she  had  always  wanted  jinhyuk  to  know  how  to  use  his  abilities  ,  while  she  wasn’t  a  pyrokinetic  ,  she  taught  him  control  and  taught  him  to  not  be  afraid  of  using  his  powers  ,  that  they  were  a  gift  to  be  used  .

his  father  didn’t  want  him  to  use  his  powers  .  wanted  him  to  be  “  normal  ”  even  if  mutants  were  normal  .

things  weren’t  horrible  while  he  was  growing  ,  he  was  a  lively  kid  .  always  wanting  to  be  running  ,  to  be  moving  .  he  was  energetic  and  had  too  many  friends  ,  more  than  he  could  ever  count  on  his  fingers  .  he  was  sociable  and  sweet  .

then  his  baby  brother  was  born  when  he  was  eight  years  old  .  due  to  complications  ,  his  mother  passed  away  during  childbirth  and  that  was  when  hell  began  .

after  his  mother  passed  ,  the  whole  family  grieved  .  his  father  was  very  much  so  more  distant  than  ever  before  .  eight  year  old  jinhyuk  tried  to  pay  no  mind  to  it  .

it  wasn’t  until  he’d  found  piles  of  empty  alcohol  bottles  and  an  enraged  man  towering  over  him  ,  that  he  knew  nothing  would  be  the  same  .

his  job  was  to  take  care  of  his  brother  .  to  keep  him  out  of  harms  way  .

jinhyuk  took  the  brunt  of  the  abuse  ,  never  wanting  to  see  his  father  lay  a  hand  on  his  brother  .  even  though  he  did  .

his  father  blamed  them  .  mainly  his  baby  brother  .  made  their  lives  living  hell  .  told  them  he  wished  they  never  had  them  ,  wish  they’d  never  been  dirty  mutants  .

he’d  torture  them  .  as  stated  before  ,  jinhyuk  took  most  of  it  .  

the  sweet  and  loving  boy  that  fought  back  and  begged  and  cried  began  to  disappear  as  he  kept  himself  steeled  .

steeling  was  easier  ,  helped  him  block  it  out  mentally  .  helped  him  stop  the  flare  of  his  abilities  which  only  angered  his  father  more  .

his  father’s  favorite  form  of  torture  for  jinhyuk  was  waterboarding  him  and  as  a  pyrokinetic  ...  that  was  a  horrible  mix  .  

jinhyuk  as  he  grew  ,  hoped  that  he  could  get  him  and  his  brother  out  .  but  luck  wasn’t  on  his  side  .

at  the  small  age  of  six  ,  jinhyuk’s  brother  brought  his  own  power  on  himself  .  the  touch  of  death  killed  him  ...  suicide  .

that  tore  jinhyuk  in  half  .  his  dormant  abilities  erupted  ,  sending  his  home  into  flames  ,  incinerating  his  father  and  really  ,  he  couldn’t  have  cared  less  .

it’s  where  the  faint  burns  and  scars  come  from  across  his  torso  and  arms  because  what  he  erupted  in  was  blue  flame  and  blue  flame  injures  him  unlike  red  to  yellow  flame  .

after  that  ,  he  fled  .  lived  on  the  streets  ,  tried  to  survive  day  by  day  .  only  hardening  more  and  more  after  the  things  he’d  seen  .

he  didn’t  want  to  be  the  old  him  .  didn’t  want  to  be  weak  .  so  he  killed  that  part  of  himself  ,  put  her  away  ,  locked  her  up  .

age  fifteen  ,  he  was  invited  to  the  academy  ,  they  saw  great  potential  in  him  despite  his  unpredictable  abilities  he  doesn’t  use  often  enough  .

been  here  since  then  ,  working  with  his  abilities  again  ,  trying  to  contain  them  .  definitely  struggles  .

apart  of  the  sick  six  because  he’s  literally  a  horrible  person  ,  at  least  he  portrays  himself  that  way  .

personality .

he’s  not  nice  .  that’s  just  that  .  he’s  rude  and  cruel  and  wants  to  inflict  harm  onto  others  .  he’s  not  apart  of  the  sick  six  for  nothing  !

keeps  his  walls  up  .  doesn’t  let  anyone  past  them  .  doesn’t  want  anyone  past  them  .  is  too  scared  to  let  anyone  see  the  kind-hearted  ,  loving  boy  he  once  was  .

thinks  kindness  makes  you  weak  .  thinks  love  makes  you  weak  .  he’s  got  nothing  to  love  any  longer  ,  hasn’t  for  years  ,  so  there’s  no  point  in  trying  any  more  .

quite  the  pessimist  .

likes  to  mess  with  people  a  lot  .  pulls  little  pranks  ,  sets  shit  on  fire  ,  just  pokes  fun  at  others  .

ruthless  .  has  some  anger  issues  he  needs  to  sort  out  because  emotions  affect  his  abilities  .

oddly  ,  he’s  very  relaxed  ?  like  kick  your  feet  up  on  the  table  ,  blunt  words  ,  absolutely  unbothered  when  you  try  to  get  his  attention  because  he  will  just  ignore  you  if  he  doesn’t  care  .  most  of  the  time  he  doesn’t  .

when  he  likes  you  ,  he  can  be  very  protective  .

deep  down  ,  he  really  does  have  a  good  heart  .  he’s  just  so  hardened  and  scared  that  he’d  rather  be  evil  than  be  good  .

can  be  very  charming  ,  a  bit  of  a  flirt  ,  likes  to  smirk  a  lot  ,  wink  a  lot  .

idk  ,  started  writing  this  last  night  and  now  my  brain  isn’t  producing  words  ...  he’s  just  a  dick  with  daddy  issues  and  abandonment  and  intimacy  issues  ,  classic  !

wanted plots .

someone  make  him  feel  something  please  ...  i’m  literally  begging  .  give  him  someone  to  dote  on  like  he  would  have  his  little  brother  ...  give  him  someone  to  love  ,  to  live  for  .

an  ex  ,  either  he  ruined  the  relationship  because  he’s  just  horrible  or  they  did  or  it  was  just  mutual  .  maybe  they  did  really  love  each  other  ,  just  circumstances  changed  ,  can  be  toxic  ,  can  be  longing  ,  can  be  absolutely  whatever.

anything  that  gets  this  boy  away  from  his  emotions  that’s  a  wonderful  trait  of  his  !  uses  hookups  and  flings  to  get  them  out  ,  since  he’s  so  desperate  to  hold  back  them  back  .

perhaps  an  older  sibling  figure  !  someone  who  keeps  him  in  line  and  supports  him  like  no  one  has  since  his  mother’s  passing  .

a  rival  ,  an  enemy  ,  people  who  he  can’t  fucking  stand  and  would  literally  like  to  obliterate  from  this  planet  .

someone  who’s  close  enough  to  him  to  know  everything  ,  a  best  friend  ,  someone  he  trusts  and  cares  for  despite  sometimes  not  showing  it  .

really  ...  anything  ...  i  am  down  ...

[klaviergavinwiki]

Honestly Hanzo has good potential for character development and I could see myself rly liking him if the fandom didn’t go out of their way to pretend he didn’t murder his own brother 

[williamcheart]

- ̗̀ * ( bill skarsgard + cismale + he/him ) have you seen ( william ‘colt’ heart ii ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-four ) year old, studying ( business + literature ). we hear they are in ( omicron tau xi ), and can be ( composed & detached ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aquarius ). they sort of remind us of ( chicken scratch handwriting, trembling hands, a coach’s whistle ), maybe we can find out more ! * ̖́- + literary magazine

u were all wondering whomstve the bill skarsgard fc reserve was . . . . it was I and i have no mcfuckin’ regrets. we love. and stan. william colton heart the second

tw. cancer, death, substance abuse, car accident, mental illness.

gen info!

full name: william colton heart ii

nickname(s): will to his family, colton/just colt to p much everybody else. his full name is reserved for family and when he’s in troubule tbh

b.o.d. - feb. 19th he an aquarius bby

label(s): the fallen, the phoenix, the crestfallen, etc. etc.

height: tall but taller than benjy tall like we’re talking a whopping 6′4″ jfc

hometown: beaufort, south carolina !!

sexuality: b...i...?

bio info!

born n raised in beaufort, south carolina--william is the eldest heart sibling

was a really quiet kid, tbh, like he minded his business and stuck close to the people he knew

always, always wanted to impress his parents, so he always studied hard for school and kind of put all his focus into it ??

it was a pressure for him, really, bc he’d always been told that he’s gonna inherit the family business like how his dad did, etc. etc.

and like...sweetie never wants to disappoint anyone, ever.

he was never considered a nerd tho?? like he’s always been freakishly tall, and his quietness sort of made him intimidating to be around b/c it always felt like he was judging u bc he’d always have to look down at u

has always been super protective over his younger siblings, feels as if it’s his duty to be the put-together brother

he’s never had to fight anybody tho, and like, thank god for that b/c he’s definitely not a fighter, considers himself to be a pacifist for the most part

bc like...he can just stare u down and ur like uuuh gtg bye !!1!111!!!

anyways, grew up riding horses, finds it v v peaceful but he stopped when they moved to california

but track has always been his kinda thing regardless of where he’s at, tried out for track his freshmen yr of high school n was the star of the team tbh

he met a gal going by the name dinah during a track meet the middle of his freshmen yr

she was taking photos for the yearbook and stuttered over her words more often than not, even when she teased william

and like...tbh? william adored her immediately

it really wasn’t soon at all until they started dating, like, they were the high school couple

they complimented each other v v well and were prolly always together lbr

i’m hc’ing that his family also adored dinah like it’s law

dinah is the one who like...really encouraged him to pursue writing as something more serious than just for fun, because will had always enjoyed writing--esp poetry--but he didn’t want it to get in the way of his future w the stables ??

and like...fuck, they were so cute, guys. they were so mf cute.

dinah got diagnosed w/ lung cancer in the beginning of their junior year; she began online school halfway thru b/c she didn’t have the energy physically to go to class, went thru a looot of chemo

william was with her the entire time, y’know, if he wasn’t in school or at track he’d probably be with her the most, trying to cheer her up in the ways he could, helped her study for their SATs bc he knew it was rly important to her

by the summer she was in remission and they thought that was it--still super fucking careful, but they really genuinely thought that that was the end of it y’know ?? that she’d just be better ??

they got into a few months of senior year with her being healthy enough to go to school again, but the further time passed...dinah relapsed, rapidly, and the cancer had spread to other parts of her body

they spent their last valentine’s day in the hospital, and the next day she was gone

it...crushed william, just kind of changed his life, y’know? dinah was all he knew and he really didn’t know how to live w/o her

spent a lot of his time locked away in his room or never even home to begin with, just wandering about hopelessly or sleeping, or trying to sleep that is

poured his heart into his poetry, though--in dinah’s honor, he tried so mf hard to keep doing what he loved even though he was so hurt

it was because of his constant hard work, and dinah’s past encouragements, that william entered and won a poetry contest during his senior year. got a hella scholarship that made everybody proud of him, just b/c he was ~defying odds~

kinda put on this mask so that others wouldn’t see how bad he was doing ?? b/c he’s the level-headed brother, y’kno, the one who always had his shit together and knew what he was doing

dinah and william won cutest couple and even prom king n queen as a sort of tribute to dinah but will didn’t even go to prom tbh he got drunk and threw cans of beer off of a cliff

anyways, he graduated high school n attended ucla bc that was his dad’s school and gdi he’s tryn his best to follow in his footsteps

even got into his dad’s frat b/c he was that determined

he didn’t rly partake much in parties but he did indulge every once in a while, y’know, just to do it, was finally getting his shit back together and doing well for once y’know?? he joined track n took it p seriously

when angela heart died, all of that fell apart again

he took an entire year off of school b/c at that point his mental health had taken a really bad turn, depression was sort of controlling his life and he was spiraling so mf far down that he sometimes couldn’t recognize himself

during that time he published his first and second poetry book under w.c. heart; it’s super morbid, depressing, you can pretty much feel his depression as it manifests in the pages. it begins with poetry from his earlier years, of when he was with dinah and then afterwards, when she dies

the second poetry book is about healing, and then how sometimes you can fall back even when you’re doing good (i.e. around the time lil baby angel died)

when he finally did go back to school he had a much better mindset, seemed to be doing well--was one of the best on the track team--partied a little harder, did drugs more often than usual but nothing too extreme y’know ??

his junior year he got into a p bad car accident n derailed into a body of water after crashing his side of the car into another and losing control of his vehicle

like honestly thank god for the stranger who immediately stopped their car and went totally-hero on the situation, they got william out of the car before he could drown and essentially saved his life, before calling 911 and just. disappearing as soon as the sirens were audible

somehow his left leg got mc’fucked in the incident and it just so happened to ruin his track career

also gave william a fear of swimming/deep water + driving. like. he never wants to be in control of a car again. it really added onto his anxiety and was probably the root of his panic disorder tbh

he took another year off of school to recover from his injuries and to just fucking...put himself in some therapy, because he knows. when it’s time to take care of himself. is really still determined to b the best, he’s just trying to take his time now.

got addicted to painkillers b/c of the injury, sought them out after his prescription ran out; it varies between oxy, vicodin, n percocets and like...they mix really badly w/ his antidepressants tbh ??

that’s v v hush-hush bc he doesn’t want people to worry about him moreso than they already do after like...all these tragic mf events y’know.

he had moved out of his greek house to live on his own but after his second time coming back to ucla he moved back in b/c that way somebody could kick his ass if he fell down the rabbit hole again y’know

his antidepressant, lexapro, causes hallucinations and now he’s been seeing dinah everywhere, hearing her voice, etc. etc. he thinks he’s finally going insane and also keeps it v hush hush b/c he doesn’t want people to think he is

he looks worse for wear but he just. keeps on pretendin’.

personality!

he’s just ... really calm tbh?

he’s always been the (or one of the) least fussy child, hated starting conflicts

if anything he’s always been a mediator ?? the peacemaker, tries to resolve things before they get outta hand

he hates fighting, physical n verbal, refuses to partake in it

even when dinah n him would get into arguments he’d be really quiet during them

that being said he wasn’t like antisocial or anything just bc he was quiet y’know ??

he was the quiet cool dude who was always popular for some fucking reason (its the height im telling u) and offered rly good advice

he’s a big fucking softie lemme tell u . . . he cries at most movies tbh

v intelligent, still carries small dumbass energy b/c he doesn’t make the best choices as u can tell

v v good at his craft, has been working on his third poetry book but has a lil bit of writer’s block atm and it’s ? torturing him tbh ?

he’s got a sense of humor but it’s like . . . kind of morbid tbh like he deals w shit via locking up his emotions and using humor as a coping mechanism

he’s a sentimental piece of shit tho we love him. he has a bottle of dinah’s favorite perfume and sprays his bed w it before he goes to sleep

that being said he really...isn’t over her, still, y’know ??

he’s 100% sure that she was his soulmate and he doesn’t think she could ever be replaced

(silly boy u cant replace people ! u just. meet people who fit u in other ways.)

hates being babied b/c he’s the oldest goddammit, that’s his job

he has a lil bit of a limp but like . . . that’s just bc his leg hurty

did i mention he’s protective bc he 100% is like listen.

he can bully his siblings. u cannot. that’s the rule sorry

even when his siblings r bullying each other he like body-flops on top of them and is p much like fucking Stop

he’s in his last yr of college but he’s doing grad school right after b/c he rly. doesn’t wanna b a partner w his dad. he doesn’t wanna own the stables or breed horses. he’s troy bolton and writing is his singing, horsebreeding is his basketball.

okay he really wants to know who tf pulled him outta the water b/c he never got to say thank u and he’s just like ?? LET ME SAY THANK U GODDAMMIT

he’s lowkey in the party scene but he’s also a bit of a wallflower when it comes to them, he prefers to drink his alcohol n watch ppl b idiots or sit on a roof high off his ass with a pal

he’ll fuck u but he wont date u but like so will most of the guys so he’s not unique he’s just a hashtag tortured artist

like it’s so hard for him to connect w others in a potentially romantic way ?? bc he just doesn’t feel anything and u cant really blame him for it tbh

has panic attacks n insomnia but u aint hear it from me

ironically........has taken up smoking cigarettes, as well.......even tho his gf died from lung cancer.......will why?

oh right bc i commanded thee

wanted connections !!

WHO PULLED HIM OUTTA THAT MF CAR CRASH ?? - i wanna know mf !!

his siblings uwu - GIVE US THE LAST HEART. PLEASE.

roommate - !! they can b chill or hate each other tbh who knows

frat bros - please.

uuuh general friends i guess ??

will they wont they - they’re rly close but will is really dumb and straight refuses to acknowledge the fact that they’d b like . . . perfect together

general unrequited things - william is emotionally unavailable, lmao, let’s see how that works w others

current hookups - he’s a bit of a slut, let’s b real. we ain’t shaming him b/c we don’t do that in 2k19 but we also speaking truths

good influences - please...help him get better

confidantes - somebody he just can fuckin complain to w/o feeling shitty or guilty for it

bad influences - make him. worse. he’s doing bad but he’s not at his worst yet.

anything. else. u want. i will do. i can do. i am god. i have ultimate power. william is my pAWN.

[chaseprice]

hey i’ve been thinking. who wants a very MILD opinion from me…… the stars don’t symbolise rachel, but neither does the fire. 

all that the fire/stars symbolise is like. 

1, fire: chloe’s life being a fucking mess / looking out for danger/issues in her relationships / not being reckless by getting caught up in fantasies which’ll end up hurting her(& rach) 

2, stars: hope for the future / chloe being loved and supported by rachel/max regardless of conflict / looking out for the good stuff in her life / not giving up despite impending fights/conflict/cheating/difficulties/strain

it really felt like william was telling chloe to stick around, you know. chloe’s been falling behind in life and getting depressed and flunking in classes and shit, and we know that she has incredibly low self worth at the point of lis1. chloe just needs reasons to keep going. william would want her to keep going, and chloe knows that deep down – despite him being absent from her life, she still gets comfort from him when she feels totally alone, when others aren’t giving her the support that she needed so desperately at that time. she falls back on him. she knows him. and knows he’d want to help. the stars are chloe’s future. the stars are a way of saying “keep going on”. that’s what chloe needs. needs to know that she hasn’t been abandoned by max forever, people do like her, she will get the support she needs eventually from rachel and max, her life is worth living. the bad things which have happened to her – the troubles she is going to face in the future – do not reflect upon her worth as a person. she is good. keep holding on.

maybe fire represents parts of rachel’s actions. forest-burning = destructive, bla bla bla. but in chloe’s dream later in the episode, william’s there telling her that rachel needs her, that chloe should help her, that they should be there for each other. if rachel was like, some inherently dangerous heathen that chloe should stay away from because all she wants to do is ruin lives, then like, it makes no sense that this whole game is about these girls helping each other through rough times. the fire =/= rachel as a person. the fire represents the loss of control that BOTH of these girls face in their lives, and getting caught up in fantasies which, at the age of fifteen and sixteen, will not work out. it’s about expectations leading to pain and hurt. it’s about the turbulent nature of the beginning of amberprice, for sure, but not in a, ‘oh, amberprice sucks, it’s so problematic’ way. it’s william warning chloe to stay safe. ‘cause relationships are hard.

the scene this symbolism was introduced in was totally beautiful but also like, i h8 it in a way because. dontnod wanted chloe to die in the future. just straight up fucking die. regardless of how you interpret the stars, whether you think they symbolise max returning to her soulmate, or rachel saving chloe from the shitty things happening in her life – … dontnod still wanted her to die. bad shit happens to her. regardless if she hears out “william”‘s “warning” (w/ the fire). she continues to get abused at home, her best friend/lover holds back the truth from her and then goes missing, she gets drugged and assaulted, then killed/has to live with knowing her existence has SOMEHOW caused the destruction of a whole town. lis was like, fucking disgusting. so… like…. ‘things will get better, theres a greater beauty yet to come… before you get fucking emotionally tortured and die?’. it makes no sense. in fact, it just makes me believe even Harder that lis1 wasn’t canon. that rachel doesnt go missing, that max returns, that the three of them live happily together. it’s fucking cruel to include symbolism referencing a happy fate for chloe when we know what dontnod wanted to happen to her. (and like, no doubt some idiot will be like, well she can die and be in heaven with dead rachel, isn’t that cute? no. no it’s not it’s gross fuck off.) (( or someone will be like, well she enjoyed her years with rachel before dying – this is still bad, guys. this is bad. any chlo death is bad okay. plus the end of amberprice’s relationship was strained as hell due to the issues rachel was sadly going through at the time and the fact she didn’t feel like she could talk to people about them, leadin 2 dishonesty between chlo n rach… plus chloe’s life kinda like, turned to shit right before lis if u dont remember. so yeah. that’s just bad))  ….. but that’s gone way off topic. it’s just my way of saying like, the symbolism isn’t Extremely deep anyway, bc it’s fuckin. flawed. and i’m seeing you guys all fucking fight over whether it means that max is the good one or rachel’s the good one and its like. both are good. chloe loves both. nothing you say can change that. you’re just making a fool of yourself. in summary: y’all are  using this dumb symbolism as fuel for a ship war when like, it’s completely pointless. it’s not about who’s better or whatever. they’re just messages to chloe. messages letting her know that she should keep going on. messages warning her to not get hurt by anything. they don’t reflect hugely on max and rachel as characters, chloe’s the most important part of this dream. it’s about her, okay!!!!! it’s about chlo chlo i’m telling you!!!!!! i’m making it all about my girl!!!!!!!!! my girl who loves both max and rachel!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s about her looking after herself. it’s about her holding onto a connection with her dad. it’s about reassuring her that she should always hold onto hope, keep going on, even when shit starts to get fucky. because it WILL get fucky. it DOES. it doesn’t mean rach is irredeemable or anything, it’s just. a warning. thats all. a warning that doesn’t even mean too much when you consider dontnod’s intended fate… it’s just, annoying. i’m still salty about lis1 so seeing y’all fight over it just makes me go like……. hhhhhh. it doesnt matter that much. chloe still gets hurt. but yeah anyway. it looks really silly when u use it as like, proof for one ship being superior/proof that one character is problematic. both girls are good who cares just care more about CHLOE and her WELLBEING ppLEASE i can’t do this all by myself. cant y’all just join me in constantly ranting about chloe and caring for her. ur not a true chloe price stan if you demonise any of the girls she falls in love w

[ot5]

hiii again, sorry for my late response my brain simply wasn’t working yesterday 😭💀 I hope you’re feeling ok today? 💗 ndjsksk I went a bit crazy on shein earlier this year and got like 5-6 new summer dresses 🥴 which are hard to actually wear here bc it’s always goddamn windy and like... this is risky af

and yeah idk haven’t had a tree in years, my cat is very stubborn? he’s 5 now and quite big for a normal house cat and he loves destroying stuff so 🙃 no tree for us. but maybe we’ll give it a try in the future if my cat ever calms down ndjsks

and omg I swear everyone’s always in love w sweden ndjsjsjs I don’t get it. the only thing I love here are summers bc there’s beaches everywhere and well we moved earlier this year and now live like 3 minutes away from the ocean so there’s that. but in winter it’s torture, it literally gets dark at 3pm right now and idk the last time I actually saw the sun 💀 and yeah I moved from germany and I do speak swedish ndksks, it’s kinda like a mix between english and german when it comes to the vocabulary tbh so probably one of the easier languages to learn if you already know those two!! where have you guys been when you visited sweden? and what time of the year did you visit for it to always rain ndjsks we actually have quite sunny summers I think?

and omg same so far w photoshop lmao the free trial is only for 7 days lmao and yesterday I didn’t do anything at all w it and today I’m working so probably won’t use it either ndjsjs rip 😔

you're fine please!!!!!!! your timing was actaully 👌 bc i was having a shit day yesterday and seeing ur ask made me smile eventho i wasnt in the headspace to answer so!! 🥺🥺🥺

but omg we love going crazy on summer dresses🥰👏👏 i got a lot of midi/ maxi dresses this year and they felt so wonderfully safe 10/10 would recommend! how was your shein experience tho?👀 this is my first order there so im a lil nervous😳

do you have your cat on your blog?? id love see the chunky criminal when i finally know your url🥺 i hope someday you'll be able to have a tree again tho😭😭 our cat takes out his excess energy on our dog instead of the rest of the house so maybe getting a dog would be a good solution😌 YOU LIVE 3 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE OCEAN???? girl......im not even the biggest beach stan but i'll gladly sacrifice those few hours of winter sunlight for that oof. not you saying swedish is ~easy if you know english and german😭😭 i used to speak german relatively well back in my day...... djskdnf not anymore tho❤️ and i cant rmr where we went but i think i just had bad luck bc the few times ive been were in summer and i always had rain? but when my parents went last summer the weather was perfect???</3 i was gonna give u an essay about how much i love germany but then i remembered the dubbing instead of subtitles atrocity and how watching tv there is always a whole mental work out so. 🙄 have u ever been to my country?? if you say only amsterdam its on sight<3 i do wanna say i rly appreciate u tho like. you’re so chill and nice 🥺 last year my santa didnt even reveal herself JSKDFNJ and i feel like the person im sending messages to is gonna block me as soon as they know my @ and see my blog💀

anyway! i just got my perfume order delivered so my mood cant be ruined 🥰 😌 how is your day going?? any fun plans for the weekend?

[briteboy]

(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)

IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)

there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)

this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice

let’s f0cking do this

You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.

I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it

ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them

YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies

hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club

Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.

DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it

hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)

i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!

I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.

AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!

 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you

i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me

o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:

OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID

First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖

LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh

The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...

NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u

long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice

omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u

I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW

I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!

I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?

omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3

To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me

YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening

I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!

YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)

UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant

😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!

My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!

lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily

How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?

i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.

Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞

omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY

boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm

Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333

OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3

why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT

the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there

SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it

I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?

yes

I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend

ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!

omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!

OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.

*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!

ME TF TOO

every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like

OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )

hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD

THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!

hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs

hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!

TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*

MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333

lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.

heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!

This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.

yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.

when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?

i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could

Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅

yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)

Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)

OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS

U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)

i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.

I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!

no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die

Are they gonna fucc, o no

right now? no. that would be Very Bad

bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

oh same

Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍

thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!

You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?

i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)

how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..

hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah

What do you mean 9 + alt?

you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them

You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help

JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok

So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)

OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)

do you have any favorite pose creators?

answered

do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?

well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.

burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain

ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm

The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.

ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal

i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING

ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY

every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3

omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!

Molly: out Molly tatto: also out

why did this remind me of this post:

How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool

i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 

idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*

ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin

I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me

I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis

last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!

hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.

Da puppy is so cute!!!

That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry

Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love

NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;

OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB

SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that

THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)

Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.

for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)

Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3

i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)

i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb

THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands

what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?

1920x1080

For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade

do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up

Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??

i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe

Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333

that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3

is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it

yes and no

Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!

i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)

I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼

hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!

In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(

i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 

ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni

OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!

a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning

great! i look forward to it

can a steal ur talent

have it i don’t need it

What app are you using to make them cool edit things??

i tagged it but it was doodle face

omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful

you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear