#Marinette deserves to say fuck and have a gun and kill a guy

[troycattribunny]

There's only one show I want a gritty adult reboot of and that's miraculous

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Con Man's Daughter

Posting this because there isn't enough biodad! John Constantine content.

[Masterlist]

(Part 2)

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I feel like this should be a Damianette story or just platonic relationship after Jon got aged-up to seventeen and Damian wanted a friend his age but doesn’t want to admit it.

So basically there is this big bad in Gotham using magic that Batman was fighting at the time and enlisted John Constantine to help out.

John realizes that the villain is using a Miraculous.

“Oh. I think I know how he gets his powers. And lucky for you, Bats, I know an expert on this special brand of magic.”

And he did the smart thing and called up Marinette who at the time was already Guardian and was looking for other lost Miraculouses like in the Treasure Hunter AU I wrote.

He calls her at a really bad time. She was in the process of being chased by the guardians of the place. Monsters and evil spirits.

“Hello, Dad. What do you need and can you do it quickly?”

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s me. How is my little cupcake up to these days?”

“You called at a bad time.” Gunshots.

“WAS THAT A GUN I HEARD? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOUNG LADY?!”

“Somewhere in Japan. Getting a Miraculous. And why can’t you call me to check in on me and not ask me to help you with whatever mess you got yourself into.” More gunshots sounds and it was telling that Marinette was using a gun.

“Where did you get a gun? And don’t you have school?”

“It’s summer break. Don’t worry Maman and Papa know. Well, the fact that I am in Japan anyways.” Marinette sounded a little out of breath. Roaring and horrifying sounds at the other end. “Can we do this later?”

“As it happens, there is a villain going around Gotham with what I think is a Miraculous.”

Swears on the other end.

“Oi. Watch your fucking language, young lady.”

“How about a No and move the fuck back, old man. I am coming over right now.”

“Old man? I am not that old-” as a magic blue portal opens up in the Bat Cave.

And a red Chinese dragon comes out with someone riding it.

Its rider was a black-haired girl. She had a trench coat similar to Constantine's. I imagine her with a fedora. Like Carmen Sandiego style but not red. Sometimes red but only when she has to steal it from a museum or high security places and she leaves a name card with the name Carmen Sandiego. A sword strapped to her back and a dagger to her thigh.

She had a gun in her hand which she used to shoot the monsters as it was halfway through the portal and yelled out the spell to close it.

“Brilliant entrance but you are in lots of trouble, little lady. What were you thinking about going to another country unsupervised? And isn’t there still a butterfly problem in Paris?”

“One, I wasn’t unsupervised. I had Tikki, a billion years old being and a sort of god. Two.Well, it got boring trying to track Hawk-bitch down. And I found this legend about a guy with a Miraculous who disappeared in the temple and thought hey, more miraculous could mean another edge to defeating Moth-man.”

More bickering and John grounding Marinette who was acting very nonchalant about it.

Okay, at this point, I should say that Batman and Robin are in the background trying to make some sense.

Batman is surprised to find out that Constantine has a daughter who is also involved in magic like her Father but an apparently more specialised kind called the Miraculous. He is a little miffed that he didn’t know about John having a daughter. He did consider it weird at first that she had a slight french accent unlike her father’s Liverpool accent although she pronounced some words like he does.

He also connected some dots that she is also the Parisian heroine, Lady Rouge who Wonder Woman introduced to the League a while back and had declined to join the Young Justice or Teen Titans until everything in Paris was resolved.

Damian on the other hand was suspicious of the new arrival and came to the same conclusion as his father about the daughter thing.

Batman after a few minutes, clears his throat.

The Constantines stop arguing.

“Bonjour. Batman. Robin. Pleasure to meet you. I am Mari Constantine and yes, I am this homeless looking man’s brilliant daughter.” “Hey”

“Well, Mari. Your father thinks you can help us with this new criminal turning Gotham upside down. Literally in some cases. He said that you might be able to help us.” Batman said as he pulled up zoomed in picture of the Miraculous.

Mari looks through the Miraculous grimoire and tells them all about it and power-ups, basically the most effective thing to defeat the guy is to get the Miraculous off them. Plus a spell that would make the Miraculous ineffective if casted within a certain radius of it.

“Thank you for the information, Mari. Constantine, let’s go.”

Mari made to follow them.

“You young lady are grounded and staying here.”

“I don’t need another supervillain using the Miraculous which are my responsibility as Guardian to retrieve them for their own misuse and wreaking havoc on the city. And what if there is an akuma in Paris? I can’t go there if I am grounded in the Batcave although it is a cool place to hang out.”

“You can portal back to Paris but you are not going to follow me. Understood?”

“yes. crystal”

“Good. After me and Batsy get the Miraculous, you can do your Guardian duties.”

Damian snickers. Until Batman cut his mood short, “You are staying behind too. Robin.”

“But Father, why? I am much more capable than Constantine.”

“Hey!” Both father and daughter.

Damian is staying behind too because of the Miraculous power or other reasons and keeps an eye on Mari.

Damian stays behind and there were some protests about mari mad about having a babysitter and Damian doesn’t want to be a babysitter. Despite the two of them being around the same age.

“I got an eye on you so no funny business.”

“Okay, Dad, I am not going to have sex with Robin.” Mari said with a shit- eating grin. Robin definitely didn’t blush.

“I hate you sometimes.”

“I love you too, Dad. Go save the world. Byee.”

John eyes her suspiciously because she is not one to give up that easily usually.

He casts a spell to watch her as they leave. and which she totally knew about.

“So...I have one question.”

“Tt, ask and don’t bother me anymore.”

“Is Batman Bruce Wayne?”

Damian looks up, totally caught off guard.

“I am going to take that as a yes.”

Puts sword at her neck. “How did you find out?!”

“Opened up Google Maps and saw that we are under Wayne Manor. Connected the dots. Also I already knew when Dad made a bet with me once to find out Batman’s secret identity but he never did confirm it for me. And can you please not tell your father about this? I don’t feel like being interrogated by the Bat in the future yet.”

“Father must know about this.”

“I saw you looking at Scarlet here. An animal lover then? You can give her some belly rubs. She deserves it after helping me outrun those monsters.”

His silence was brought. To pet a dragon.

One thing after another and he ends up bringing out his pets-Jerry the turkey, Goliath the dragon-bat, Titus- and her introducing him to her other pets like a hellhound, griffin and other mythical creatures who mostly roam free but come to her when she calls for them and also the kwamis, at least the ones who came with her.

After 30 mins have passed, “So Robin how do you feel about disobeying our fathers?”

“I am in.”

“Depends. Are we going after the (villain's name) ?”

“Yes.”

Awesome montage of them getting rid of the spell John casted and flying out of the Batcave on their respective giant flying pets to the villain’s base.

Meanwhile, their fathers are not doing so well and are trapped in a death trap. John can’t say the spell because the villain made him unable to talk.

“At least, the kids are staying put.”

Cut to Damian and Mari jumping off their pets and onto the roof. Taking out the guards posted there and going into the building all sneakily and also taking out the guards that come their way.

They dropped into the room where their fathers and the villain is.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Villain starts an evil monologue about his mastermind plan to which Damian cuts it short by trying to cut him down with his katana. Mari goes to deactivate the death trap.

They are evenly matched with Damian’s training and the Miraculous.

Mari steps in as Damian was about to be killed. Taps on the shoulder of the villain and when he turns around, gives an awesome right hook that knocks him out.

Takes away the Miraculous and curses him. Wiped the dude’s memories of it.

“When I said stay in the Batcave, I meant stay behind at the Batcave. What point of being grounded, don’t you understand?”

“You mean, Oh, Mari, light of my life, my wonderful daughter, thank you for saving my ass. You are the best.’ by that, right?”

-----

Mari and Damian exchanged numbers and email addresses.

As she was about to leave the Batcave, “It’s been nice meeting you, Mr. Wayne.” and leaves with a wink.

John ‘ungrounds’ her for the look on Batman’s face.

-----

After this, Marinette and Damian become friends who bitch and vent to each other about their alter egos and various villains of their respective cities. (In codes, just in case) They also share updates about their pets and love of drawings.

They have that type of friendship where they trade favors. Mari calls Damian to Paris sometimes to help out with the akuma of the day and Damian sometimes calls her in when Bruce doesn’t let him go investigate a case so he can sneak out by magical means or as back up for when his brothers were too annoying to deal with.

It’s summer break so no missing school.

John and Bruce are aware of their friendship and some of the shenanigans the pair gets into behind their back.

-----

-----

Right. how this all started...

John and Sabine first met when the latter was still in college somewhere in France. John was tracking down a demonic entity which was targeting Sabine for some reason and she was the next target.

John saved her life and exorcised the demon. There was a heat of the moment thing and they had a one-night stand. There were a few more flings and hook-ups after that night.

And nine months later, Marinette Cheryl Cheng-Constantine was born.

When Sabine first found out, she called John to come over and he thought that it was a call for another hook-up and was very surprised to find out that it was not and that he was going to be a father.

They both like each other but do not want to be in a relationship together so they both remained as friends and John agreed after some strong-arming at the very least to meet his daughter before he goes to do his job. And pay for child support. And help Sabine during her pregnancy.

Pregnant Sabine was someone you don’t want to mess with. And John has never met a demon or anyone scarier than her.

He was at first not into meeting his child and there was a self-pity party he threw himself with how the child was going to live a bad life because he was the dad and how he destroyed every good thing in his life.

That’s why he is going to meet the baby once and leave maybe a letter and the occasional birthday present and stay out of their life. Forever.

The day Marinette was born and it took one look into her eyes for the HellBlazer to fall under the spell and all of his plans to stay out of her life to burn away.

At first, he tried. He really tried but he couldn’t do it.

Lasted 4 months before he came back, wanting to place protection spells on her and sigils around the house to keep away the forces of Heaven and Hell and other entities so they won’t use her against him as a bargaining chip.

Sabine calls him to babysit. He could have refused and Sabine would have easily found a babysitter. He moans and whines about how he is a great mage and not a bloody babysitter. Sabine retorts that it is actually called parenting since he is Marinette’s father. He grumbles but in the end, agrees.

The great John Constantine is wrapped around the little girl’s finger.

He was around for some of Marinette’s firsts. Her first word was “John”.

It made him cry. He wasn’t a good man and he doesn’t deserve someone this precious. His daughter doesn’t deserve someone like him as a father but fate made it that way and what can you do about it.

After an exhausting week of doing the usual and coming back from Hell, he saw that Sabine had sent him a video. It was Marinette taking her first steps.

Chas swears that in all the years that he has known John Constantine he has never seen the man look so happy.

------

When Tom came into the picture, John was there to take care of a toddler Marinette while Tom and Sabine went on dates.

Insert John threatening a much bigger Tom while holding a baby Marinette with wide eyes and hugging a teddy bear with the same coat as John’s. (It was something Sabine brought on a whim and to tease John when he came around.)

Tom is supportive and treats Marinette like his own flesh and blood.

John resolved to leave for good now that Tom would be there to be a father figure for Marinette.

That plan fell into the drain the moment he was going to leave for what was supposed to be the last time before Sabine pulled him back and knocked some sense into him.

His face was a big giveaway. Sabine knows that despite his claims of being a terrible father for Marinette, he was a good one and damnit she was going to make sure that Marinette would get to know her actual father.

Tom later made an awkward talk with John about how he was not going to replace John’s role as Marinette’s father.

Marinette was the flower girl at Tom and Sabine’s wedding. John was there too.

During bedtime, John would read her stories and use his magic to make it come to life. Although he would feel a little drained afterwards, it was worth it to see her smile.

Sometimes he told stories about his tamer adventures. (After cutting out some of the inappropriate bits)

------

When Marinette was about 5 or 6, Sabine was out on an errand and Tom was at home with Mari and helping her with her homework. There was a crash downstairs at the bakery. Tom went down to check it out to find John lying on the ground.

With a weak cough, he said, “Close the door. Close it.” Before losing consciousness

Tom did before a man with pitch black eyes slammed against it.

Thankfully John had installed heavy wards around the bakery when it first opened.

They held against the demon on John’s tail. Tom brought John inside and unsure of what to do, grabbed a rolling pin on the counter.

The man outside started pounding on the glass door and every time his hands touched the door, light glowed outwards, showing the invisible magic barrier around the bakery. Sparks and steams fizzled with every pound.

Despite the reddening and burns of his hands, the not-human didn’t slow down.

“ʝօɦռ....ʏօʊ ӄռօա ȶɦǟȶ ɨȶ'ֆ օռʟʏ ǟ ʍǟȶȶɛʀ օʄ ȶɨʍɛ ɮɛʄօʀɛ ɨ ɮʀɛǟӄ ȶɦʀօʊɢɦ ȶɦɛֆɛ աǟʀɖֆ. օռƈɛ ɨ ɢɛȶ ʏօʊ,” He laughs, the sound sends chills down the large man’s spine, “ȶɦɛʀɛ ǟʀɛ ֆօ ʍǟռʏ ȶɦɨռɢֆ ɨ ɦǟʋɛ քʟǟռռɛɖ ʄօʀ ʏօʊ.”

Tom knew that Marinette’s father was a con man. Come on, Master and Practitioner of the Dark Arts and Occult. But he was a good father nonetheless despite all his flaws and Sabine liked him enough so that was good enough for him.

Before today, magic was just the sleight of hands and use of fancy tools to sell the illusions. Now, with a could-be-a-demon knocking on his door to get to the father of the girl he sees as his daughter, he’s not so sure.

“Tom? Qu'est-ce qui se passe? (What’s going on?)” A little voice came from the stairs, “Dad!” Marinette padded across the floor to the body of her passed out father.

She shook him awake and there were a few soft slaps to the face.

“Dad, what’s happened?”

John mumbles, “Demon…. possessing some rich guy….. Exorcism…. Doesn’t like me very much…Don’t worry...wards going to hold.”

John manages to stand before falling down and Tom catches him before he hits the floor. He has a concussion. Tom turns to Marinette, “Go, Hide and don’t come out until It’s safe.” which she did

Unfortunately, a while later, Sabine returns from her night out and the demon upon seeing Sabine. “ɛӼƈɛʟʟɛռȶ..”

The demon possessed Sabine and the previously possessed dude hit the sidewalk with a thud.

“ɨռȶɛʀɛֆȶɨռɢ....” The voice coming out of Sabine didn’t sound like her mother which scared Marinette a lot. “օքɛռ ȶɦɨֆ ɖօօʀ օʀ,”the demon pulled a knife out of thin air, ,“ȶɦɨֆ ɮօɖʏ ɢɛȶֆ ɨȶ.”

Tom hesitated until the demon put the knife on Sabine’s neck and put enough force for a thin line of blood to be shown.

He opens the door and the demon knocks him out. Stepping over his unconscious body and looking down on it, “ʄօʀ ȶɦǟȶ, ɨ ǟʍ ɢօɨռɢ ȶօ ʟɛȶ ʏօʊ ʟɨʋɛ ʊռȶɨʟ ɨ ǟʍ ɖօռɛ աɨȶɦ ʝօɦռ, օʄ ƈօʊʀֆɛ.” and cackles. The sound was so wrong and unnerving and little Marinette tried very hard for her sobs not to be heard.

Too bad the demon had super hearing. “Come out, my little blossom. Maman is home. Why don’t you come out and give me a hug?”

It sounded so much like her mother and she nearly believed that it was her mother and not some entity in control of her body.

But she knew better from John’s stories of dealing with demons and how they would use the voice of loved ones to lure them out and into a trap. (Definitely not something one should tell as a bedtime story but Marinette was very different and had an unconventional childhood with John Constantine as her father.)

Wait...she got struck with an idea but she wasn’t sure if it would work.

Before she could do anything, the door of the cabinet she was hiding in was opened and she was dragged out.

The demon lifted her a few feet above the ground by the collar of her dress.

It heard Marinette saying something. “աɦǟȶ ǟʀɛ ʏօʊ ֆǟʏɨռɢ ƈɦɨʟɖ, ֆքɛǟӄ ʟօʊɖɛʀ?”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.” Marinette was now screaming the words at the top of her lungs. She repeated the spell over and over again with fierce determination.

John, being his paranoid self, taught her the spell for an exorcism, just in case. Demons spared no one, not even a girl.

It screamed “NO….” as Sabine’s body contorted in strange angles before a dark shadow seemed to be dragged down into the ground. It made a desperate attempt to possess John before it was pulled away and disappeared. There was no sign that there was a demon attack.

After John woke up, he managed to piece together that his 5-years-old (Sorry 5 and a half) daughter sent a demon back to hell.

He was a very proud dad. (He was a tad worried about the consequences from this event and demons hold one hell of a grudge. He wanted his daughter to live a very safe and happy life. The bakery’s wards also need an upgrade.)

He also got the job of explaining what he actually did to Tom. And lots of reassuring.

Sabine, on one hand, was not happy that Marinette knew how to do magic. That is until John told her that he did it just in case so she can protect herself and later it was agreed that Marinette can learn some Magic spells and charms to better protect herself and when she is older, she can decide if she wants to continue or not.

----

(Part 2)

[dragonbugsuperior]

Mmm let's see.......

Earlier today approximately at 4:26 PM I was inboxed by a Adrien stan who commented on my posts before I blocked them.

They private messaged me and told me that it was Marinette's fault Adrien's abusing her and I was wrong for pointing out Adrien's abuse towards her. According to them I'm a delusional demented bitch for calling Adrien an abuser, and a bad person.

I also happen to point out Adrien's horrible behavior on various other platforms like Wattpad for example. I'm not sure if the person who inboxed me earlier is friends with other Adrien stans but another Adrien stan in one day messaged on my message wall. Saying this,

"I hate people like you. Adrien is not and will never be a abuser. People like you want to hate on characters that have done literally nothing wrong. You just need to stop watching the show all together and commit already. People like you suck and need to die. Adrien is innocent and has done nothing wrong, Marinette is the one that abuses Chat Noir and rejects him breaking his heart like it's nothing. He's respects her and does everything for her. Just go grab a gun and shoot yourself with it. Marinette is a bitch who deserves to burn in hell, she doesn't deserve Chat."

Guys I......I don't even know what to do right now. I have blocked this user as well. But um guys......please read what they said carefully and examine everything they've said.

Another then came in my inbox on Wattpad accusing me of calling her friend names (The eariler Wattpad Adrien stan) and bullying "Adrien".

"Your a horrible bitch, your just some attention slut, all you do is complain about Adrien. When he's nothing but amazing. Marinette is an awful person. She's weird and dysfunctional and she doesn't deserve Adrien, she should have felt bad that Chloe left, that was Adrien's best friend and as Ladybug she's always controlling Chat Noir and he never gets any spotlight. fuck off. You shouldn't be alive or watching a great show like Miraculous"

Like okay.....

I wish I could say I'm lost for words but I'm not even in the slightest bit surprised. It just kills me how so many of his stans grow so defensive and attack people for saying things about their favorite predatory cis white boy billionaire. And they call Marinette a million names while blaming her for shit Adrien's done.

Like......I don't even know what to say right now.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Another One?!, Part 4

First > Previous > Next

At first, Adrien didn’t really know whether or not they were being followed.

There are a lot of kids with black hair and blue eyes, and he had a tendency to patrol certain areas. It was entirely plausible that he could just be paranoid or imagining things.

But there was a point where you had to step back and say ‘no, that’s definitely not normal’.

And Adrien hit that point when he had started counting the times he spotted the kid and ended up with eleven times by the end of the week.

He stopped in the middle of patrol and sat down on his favorite gargoyle for a short break to text the family about his findings. They deserved to know what was going on...

ChatoNoir: I think there's a person following us.

HelmetRights: Lol

ChatoNoir: This is serious!

Buginette: is it the scrawny kid with black hair and blue eyes

ChatoNoir: You’ve seen him, too?

RockinRobin: we all have????

HelmetRights: Lol

Buginette: their fine if you wanna get rid of them just wave they get all blushy and hide

HelmetRights: *They’re

Buginette: bitch lets see you type in french

HelmetRights: Qu'est-ce que je devrais dire

RockinRobin: alkdjfskdjfksdl

There was a few seconds while Marinette typed, and then apparently deleted her message because it never came through.

Adrien almost smiled but then he remembered what they were supposed to be talking about.

ChatoNoir: Can we get back on subject?

HelmetRights: Lame

Buginette: whats the point its just a fan

HelmetRights: I just wish he’d go back to not taking pictures I’ve missed so many shots because of his stupid flash going off

RockinRobin: i think it’s flattering

HelmetRights: Lol

Buginette: relax its whatever as long as he doesnt get hurt watching us

He sighed and closed his eyes. Fair enough. It’s a kid, those aren’t exactly a threat.

Still, he was a bit concerned. Not for them, they’d be fine, but for the kid. Adrien and Dick were the only ones with some kind of schedule for patrolling because of his job and Dick’s schooling, but Marinette and Jason apparently saw him pretty consistently, too. Just where were this kid’s parents? Were they okay with him being out all the time?

But he figured he must have been overreacting. Maybe they were a street kid like Jason…

No, they had decent clothes.

Adrien frowned to himself. Weird.

He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. After all, he only had another hour for patrols before he would need to go home to get ready for work. The kid would still be a problem in a few days, anyways...

~

It turned out Adrien was right to worry, because Marinette spotted the kid a few days later… while she was a civilian.

She had been in her favorite cafe, sipping at a cup of coffee as she read through the newspaper. It was an article about the vigilantes, debating things like ‘What the fuck were they thinking letting kids join them?’ and ‘Why can’t the kids name themselves?’

She found it amusing, even if it was calling her and her family out.

But then she’d felt someone’s eyes on her.

She slowly looked up, expecting a person who wanted to sit or a guy who wanted to flirt…

Only to see the kid.

They locked eyes for a few seconds.

Did he know? Surely, he couldn’t. They did everything from applying makeup to using codenames to hide their identities…

But that was the same starstruck look he wore whenever he looked at their vigilante identities…

She gave him a tiny wave and watched him blush and slump a little in his chair to hide.

Huh.

~

“Hey, so heads up, I think stalker kid might know who we are.”

Adrien dropped the textbook he was scanning for a refresher on algebra. Dick fell from the ceiling. Jason just looked up in surprise.

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah, I don’t know for sure, though. He could just have a thing for people who look like us. Somehow, I doubt it, though. We can’t all be his type.”

“We don’t know how desperate he is,” Jason pointed out.

Marinette hesitated, then gave a tiny shrug as if to say ‘you’re right, I guess…’

“Hello?” Adrien waved his hands to get their attention. “Could you guys please take this seriously? A kid knows our identities!”

“We don’t even know that for sure, though,” said Dick as he started climbing onto the nearest ceiling light. “And, if he does, so what? It’s a kid. People hardly listen to kids.”

He sighed. “Yes, but if he found out then other people might be able to, too. Shouldn’t we ask?”

The family considered this for a minute…

And then Marinette shrugged. “We need to know for sure if he knows our civilian identities, first, though. Everyone keep a lookout?”

Everyone nodded, bored and reluctant.

Adrien frowned. He loved his family, he just wished they’d take things more seriously sometimes… or, at least, not brush past things so quickly...

His watch beeped and he sighed. He pushed the thought aside. He needed to get ready for work.

~

After everyone had spotted them in their civilian forms several times, they decided to call it: the kid knew who they were.

(At least he wasn’t taking pictures of them as civilians, they thought, because that would be uncomfortable.)

So, for the first time in ages, the four of them were spotted doing a casual patrol together. It was kind of fun, actually. Dick and Marinette practiced some old circus acts that they remembered, Jason and Adrien raced. Maybe they should do it more often…

Marinette and Dick were walking along some power lines when Dick suddenly stopped to point down.

Her eyes followed to find the kid and she whistled for Adrien and Jason’s attention.

The kid was alone on a rooftop. He didn’t seem concerned that they were all pointing at him, though maybe a little flustered…

But then he did freak out.

Because the vigilantes jumped down in a loose circle around him.

Their stalker spun around anxiously as if he wasn’t sure who to look at.

Dick cleared his throat. “Right, do you know why we’re here?”

“I…” The kid finally stopped spinning to look at Marinette and Adrien. “Because I know your identities?”

“Yes. How exactly did you do that?” She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

The kid cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well, I’m a big Haly’s circus fan --.”

“Ah, shoot,” Dick muttered.

“And… I was looking through some old footage of you guys on Youtube… and I realized that Robin did a move that only Dick Grayson would know. And, if Dick Grayson was Robin, then you guys all had to be vigilantes.”

The entire family was glaring at Dick.

The man in question just awkwardly looked to the side.

Marinette clicked her tongue and then looked back at the kid. “Okay, what was the url of the footage you got? I’ll see if we can give them a copyright strike. Youtube’s system is broken so it’d probably work.”

The kid in question shook his head. “You don’t have to. I got rid of it myself.”

“Oh… thanks. Is it anywhere else that you know of?”

“No, I got rid of everything on the internet that could trace back to you guys.”

The family looked at each other, confusion on all of their faces. How…? This kid was fifteen, max, there was no way…

Well, maybe he was bluffing so he could keep the footage. They’d check later.

Jason was apparently done with caring about what was going on, because he had sat down and started checking his guns to make sure they were all okay.

Marinette was feeling much the same, leaning on her cane. “Great, well, thanks for that, I guess… could you maybe stop stalking us as civilians, though?”

“Don’t worry, I’m just doing that to get enough proof to clear your names and then I’ll go back to just watching you as vigilantes.”

“Oh, ok -- wait, what?” Said Dick, frowning a little bit.

The kid frowned as well. “I’m clearing your name… do you not know?”

The four looked at each other before shaking their heads in unison.

He sighed and brought out his phone to pull up an article. He passed it to Jason because he was closest and he cursed quietly.

“The gist of it is people are starting to wonder if you’ve gone bad,” explained the kid as Jason scrolled through the article. “It’s just a gossip column thing right now but I figured I should get proof you guys are still good in case it gained traction.”

Marinette frowned. “I’d understand if they thought we were just bad, not everyone understands that we kill people for the greater good, but saying we’ve gone bad implies that we’ve somehow gotten worse…?”

The phone was passed to her and her first instinct, much like Jason’s, had been to curse.

“Well, there’s been rumors of you and Riddler being friends for years now --.”

“WE’RE NOT,” Marinette hissed, and it took a lot of mental power to not crush the phone in her hands. She passed it on to Dick just in case. “He’s just helpful on some cases is all.”

Adrien rolled his eyes.

The kid sighed lightly. “And, on top of that, all of your most recent high-level takeouts have helped a particular mob boss, Antony Agoura, gain power.”

Her first instinct was ‘cool, thanks for the name, let’s kill him’, but then she forced herself to reconsider.

It seemed that taking down people just helped someone else take their place, which didn’t really surprise her. The moment anything was freed from someone’s hold, there would always be people who would do their best to grab it…

But then what was the solution? The situation with Agoura itself was proof that just murdering the head and saying ‘alright, next thing’ wasn’t working. Someone would just pop up to take his place --.

Adrien met her eyes and they shared anxious frowns.

Fuck, they were actually going to have to think about this one, huh?

~

He fell back on the couch and closed his eyes.

He listened to his family mull about. He could hear the quiet creaking of Dick getting on a light, could hear Marinette pulling out baking pans, could hear the clinking of Jason’s rings.

He sighed.

What could they do?

They had had a rule that they would never kill henchmen because they often weren’t working just for fun, they had a family to feed or hadn’t been able to get a job elsewhere.

Besides, with the mobster gone, there would be little reason for the police to let them go. They’d serve hard time and then, hopefully, come out a better person.

(Probably not. The prison system needed work.)

But…

He had remembered the name Agoura. He had been under Zucco at some point. He wasn’t sure whether he’d been a mob boss or a henchman at the time, though it didn’t really matter. There were a lot of people who had started out as henchmen that had somehow gotten power.

He sighed. He hated systemic issues.

The main problem, he thought, was that mobsters didn’t fear death as much as they should. Sure, everyone fears death on some level, but the people of Gotham knew what they were doing when they decided to get to that point. They would die if they got caught, and they were willing to take the risk in order to get the money and power that came along with being mobsters.

What did they fear? What weren’t they prepared to face?

He opened his eyes and looked over at Dick, who was currently reviewing for final exams from the ceiling.

The law, maybe? Serving actual hard time?

Well, it was worth a shot.

Dick was about to be a lawyer, so they had someone who would be able to try them in court…

But they needed a police officer to arrest them…

Marinette walked into the room and started looking for her shoes, cursing out brownies.

“Chocolate sauce. How did I forget that? Kwami!” She clicked her tongue. “Son of a -- where are my shoes?”

“Shoes are under the couch,” said Dick calmly.

Marinette gave the world’s angriest “Thank you!” as she ducked down and grabbed them.

“M’lady,” said Adrien.

She paused, looking over at him. “Yes, Chaton?”

“I have an idea for what to do about our newest problem, if you’d like to hear it.”

She tipped her head to the side a little, smiling.

“Sure, but make it quick, I can only keep Dick and Jason away from the batter for so long.”

~

Hey, New Jersey, what the fuck?

It had literally been easier to get into the circus than it had been to become a police officer.

She’d already gotten a degree in criminal justice a few years back. Why? Because she was really bored.

(Also, she’d wanted to mess with Officer Ross and she had decided that it would be funny to memorize as many laws as possible to point out when his buddies weren’t abiding by them.)

The test had been almost painfully easy. She spoke English as a second language and she’d thought that she was reading almost every question wrong. Some of these people would be detectives one day, you’d think they’d ask for more than basic reading comprehension. The most difficult question she’d gotten was one about license plates, and even then it was multiple choice so she’d had a 20% chance of guessing right.

And then getting a job in the GCPD was somehow easier.

Though she figured out why that last part had happened the first day she walked into work.

Can someone say ‘diversity hire’?

She hugged herself awkwardly. Really? Was she the only person of color in this place?

Wait, there was a singular black guy. She was wrong. She was just the only woman of color. Yay.

But, it seemed, her day was about to get worse.

“Marinette Agreste?”

Her nails dug into her arms and she turned to look at Officer Ross. “That’s me.”

“I’m here to give you a tour of the place. Ready?”

Asshole. Chienne. Motherfucker. Other swear words she couldn’t think of she was so mad.

She forced a smile to her face. “Sure!”

~

Yay. Galas. He always loved those.

He reached out and helped Jason with his tie and then ruffled his red curls. “What’s the rule?”

Jason grinned. “If you absolutely have to ruin someone’s life, do it discreetly.”

“Good.” He met Dick’s eyes in the mirror. “And what’s your rule?”

“... no hanging and/or swinging from chandeliers.”

“Thank you.” He looked at Tikki. “Please, just let us have one easy gala. No press, no kids getting their hands on wine, no people talking to Mari so we don’t have to leave early.”

Tikki shrugged.

He sighed. Yeah, he’d expected that. Worth a shot, though.

So, the four of them all head off. They told themselves that, hey, even if Tikki couldn’t promise that things will go okay, they could make it happen.

The peace lasted about ten seconds.

Because then Marinette hissed a curse and nodded her head to point out the kid.

He sighed. They hadn’t seen the kid in a while as civilians, so they’d thought that he had actually ended up agreeing that stalking them while they were civilians was taking it too far, but apparently not.

Wait a minute, galas were private events. How did he get in?

They started looking around for the kid’s parents, because obviously they had to be around, but they were nowhere near him.

Marinette and Adrien exchanged frowns.

And then their frowns deepened. Because they glanced behind themselves to look at their kids and found that they weren’t there anymore.

She clicked her tongue and looked around. “You deal with the stalker, I’ll go find the kids. I’m sure that one of them has found a loophole to their rule by now --.” Her eyes widened and she rushed away. “RICHARD JUST BECAUSE THAT’S NOT A CHANDELIER DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN CLIMB IT --.”

Adrien sighed.

He grabbed a glass of wine and then headed over to the kid. “Hey, kiddo, where are your parents?”

He shrugged and pointed over to the small crowd of people watching Marinette attempt to pry a glass of wine from Jason’s hands while they cursed each other out in French.

“Probably over there.”

Adrien winced. “Fun.”

“Your family is a disaster,” said the kid.

“Thanks,” Adrien muttered.

“I think it’s nice. When you’re vigilantes you’re basically gods, it’s nice to know you’re just people.”

He considered this for a second.

“Also, it’s really funny to watch,” added the kid.

He sighed and leaned back against the wall.

After a few minutes of watching the Agreste family crash and burn, the kid looked back over at him.

“Why are you still here?”

“Here with you, here at the gala, or here on Earth?” Adrien half-joked.

They shrugged. “Here with me. Your family needs you right now.”

“Marinette is the better problem solver of the both of us. Besides, you’re a kid, you shouldn’t be left alone.”

“I’m alone all the time, I’ll live.”

Adrien frowned. “What do you --?”

He was cut off when he spotted Marinette dragging Jason over by the back of his suit.

“Hold onto him, will you? I need to catch Dick before he breaks --.” There was a crashing sound nearby. She clicked her tongue. “... before he breaks that hedge. I’ll be back.”

Adrien absently held a hand out and Jason put his arm in it so he could keep a hold on him. His wife gave a tired smile before turning on her heel and stalking off to the hedge maze.

He sighed and looked back at the stalker. “Right, where were we…? Oh, what do you mean by you’re alone all the time?”

Jason’s eyes narrowed a little bit.

“My parents… go on a lot of trips.”

“Without you?”

He shrugged. “Yeah.”

“What…? Why…?”

“You wouldn’t understand, you guys never go anywhere.”

Adrien opened his mouth and then closed it again. He wasn’t exactly wrong, but…

“Okay, point, but how often are you alone? Is that why you’re always following us? Do you go to school? Do --?”

He frowned and held up a hand. “That’s a lot of questions at once.” He started to count off on his fingers. “They’re never gone for longer than a month at a time but they only come back for a few days at most. Yes, it’s why I’m always able to follow you. And I’m homeschooled.”

Adrien’s frown was deepening more and more by the second. “Who are your parents, exactly? Or, I guess, who are you?”

“I’m Tim Drake.”

Drake. His eyes flicked to Jack and Janet Drake. He had talked to them a few times because they had a tendency to ask Marinette for commissions (or, at least, they did until Dick and Jason came along and kept their parents distracted for the entire time they were there). Still, he hadn’t even known that they had a kid…

Jason suddenly tugged on his arm, pulling Adrien’s attention back to him.

“Dad, it looks like Dickwad and Mom are wanting to go.”

He frowned and looked up to find that, yes, Marinette had managed to catch Dick and was now waving for their attention from the door.

He winced and looked back over at the kid. “Tim…”

Jason tugged harder on his arm. “Dad, let’s go.”

Adrien gave an apologetic look but allowed Jason to pull him out the door.

The silence in the car was deafening that night, everyone lost in their thoughts.

~

Marinette was now constantly fighting the urge to punch someone.

Why are all cops just… the absolute worst? Sure, some of them aren’t directly beating up the teenagers that are brought in for information or planting evidence, but they weren’t exactly saying anything about it.

And then there was the fact that she’d been paired with Officer Ross.

Really, she should have expected it. She’d known that his partner had recently passed away in the field, and that he would need another.

If she’d known that she’d have ended up the lucky officer, she would have said fuck it to the whole trying something new thing and just gone after Agoura’s head like normal.

Now she’d gotten too far to just give up...

Didn’t mean she wasn’t going to be bitter about it.

As a way to vent her anger, she’d wanted to ask what happened to his old partner but then this stupid thing called ‘morals’ got in the way. Really unfortunate, because now all she could really do was glare at the stack of paperwork that she was being forced to make a digital copy for over her cup of coffee.

She felt an arm rest on her shoulder and cursed internally. She forced a smile to her face as she looked up to see…

Dick. Oh, thank the kwamis.

Marinette grinned. “Hey, sweetie, how did finals go?”

“I don’t want to jinx it.”

She hummed her understanding and moved on. “No problems?”

Dick gave a tiny shrug. “There was a few problems, there was a really annoying kid next to me that apparently still hasn’t learned how to breathe through his nose, but… they actually listened to the doctors and gave me extra time, so that’s good.”

She got up and wrapped him in a hug. “So, out of college officially. How’s it feel?”

He hugged her back, absolutely beaming. “If I passed.”

She clicked her tongue. “Right. But, let’s say you did. Then you’re out.”

“Then I’m out!” He said, pulling back and resting his hands on his hips. “Now all I have to do is find a job.”

“How horrible,” she said sarcastically.

“Yeah. Speaking of horrible jobs, wanna leave?”

“I do, but I have to finish this.” She sat back down and pulled up the daunting task in front of her. She had to type up another few pages and she was not eager to do so. Still, the commissioner had asked to get her email by the end of her shift and, if Dick was here, she was already behind. “I’ll need around an hour, I think.”

He groaned and pulled out his phone.

She smiled faintly and went back to working.

Or, at least, she tried to.

Officer Ross was talking to Dick.

“So, you’re her kid?”

“One of two!”

Ross laughed. “Tell me, is she always so angry at home?”

“Not really. Our family doesn’t really get angry in general, at least not at home. I think we all vent our anger at work, though.”

“Hm. Weird.”

Dick gave a tiny shrug.

“So, just graduated, then?”

“Mhmm! I just finished law school! I’m gonna be a lawyer!”

Ross’s eyes narrowed a little bit. “A lawyer, huh? Are you going to be the one doing the persecuting or defending?”

“Um…” said Dick, who seemed to be just now remembering that cops and lawyers didn’t exactly get along if the way his smile was dropping was any indication. He looked to the side and brought a smile to his face again. “Persecuting. I’m on your side. It would be kind of embarrassing to go against my mom in court, don’t you think?”

He relaxed, nodding. “Good.”

They lapsed into an awkward silence after that and Marinette was finally able to concentrate…

For the two seconds of silence she got before Commissioner Gordon walked over to ask her when she’d be done.

She fought the urge to bang her head on the desk.

She turned around, about to throw Officer Ross under the bus, but it turned out she didn’t need to.

Because then his daughter showed up with some dinner for him.

Gordon turned around to greet her. Thank kwami, finally something was going right. Hopefully he’d forget about what he was doing (he was old, after all) and she’d have until he was back at his desk before he remembered. She’d have around half an hour.

Not enough time to do well but she could probably get away with it because she was still a relatively new hire...

She managed to hit send the second the commissioner turned away from his daughter and slumped in her chair. It wasn’t on time but at least she’d done it.

She looked at her empty coffee cup and clicked her tongue. She glanced at Dick. “I’ll be right back, I’m getting some of the free coffee before I go.”

“Didn’t you say it was awful?”

“Yeah but it’s free.”

“... we’re rich.”

“And?”

Dick grinned. “Whatever. Go ahead. I’ve waited this long.”

She sent him a wave and then disappeared to the break room, clocking out on the way.

When she came back out she found Dick flirting with the commissioner's daughter. She would have been proud if that wasn’t, y’know, her boss’s daughter oh my god she was screwed she was going to lose her job and then the mission would be compromised and --.

She practically ran over to sling her arm around her kid.

(She didn’t actually run, she had a mug of coffee in her hand and she thought that was much more important than any mission, but she was close to it.)

“Sweetie! Hi! We should be getting home, it’s your celebration-dinner-thingy-can’t-remember-the-English-word -- PARTY tonight! I can’t keep you any longer or there won’t be time to bake the cake.”

Dick gave her a bit of side-eye and she gave him a smile in return.

“But…”

Barbara laughed a little. “Go ahead. It’s cake, you can’t just pass up on cake.” She smiled. “Congrats on whatever it is, Dick.”

He looked to the side, smiling. “Thanks. I’d invite you because my mom’s a great baker… but it’s kind of a family thing.”

Barbara shrugged. “It’s fine. I doubt that my dad would be too thrilled about me getting lured into a house with cake, anyways. It’s not that far off from getting lured into the car with candy.” She broke into a grin. “Promise to bring some of her cake by sometime?”

“Sure. I’ll be by tomorrow with as much as I can save.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Dick finally allowed Marinette to pull him out of the police station, sending Barbara a wave over his shoulder long after she was out of view.

She clicked her tongue as they climbed into the car. “If I lose my job it’s on you.”

“Who knows, the commissioner might be mad at you because you got between us. Depends on what kind of dad he is.” His face split into a fox-like grin. “Besides, you should be thanking me. I just got us a backup plan. If you get fired, knowing the commissioner’s daughter would be useful.”

Marinette hummed thoughtfully. “Smart.”

“Thanks, I have my moments.”

“Yeah, ‘moments’ is definitely the word for it.”

He gasped and took a hand off the wheel to give her shoulder a tiny shove. “Rude!”

She just laughed.

~

It was inevitable that it would happen at some point, but that doesn’t mean that they were happy about it.

Adrien had made a stupid mistake.

He had been alone on patrol. It had been a standard street fight, after all.

He’d seen the flash of Tim’s camera out of the corner of his eyes and looked up at the wrong time. Now he had a bullet in his shoulder, his staff was rolling across the floor, and he’d had to duck for cover behind a car to ensure that the one bullet didn’t turn to twenty.

So the night was already going great.

But then he realized that some of the people had also noticed the flash going off and were now going to investigate.

His day just kept getting better.

He pulled out his phone.

ChatoNoir: H! E8th, Eads. LW, 1?C-K.

HelmetRights: I’m close I’ll help

He breathed out a sigh of relief. His miraculous was the most useful for situations like this.

He brought a hand to his shoulder and flinched a little bit. He had a few minutes before he bled out.

Adrien slowly poked his head around the car. They were all distracted fighting each other...

Good?

He slowly reached out and pulled a nearby body over to him and peeled their shirt off. He needed it more than them right now, anyways. He bandaged his wound and then looked around again, this time searching the ground for his staff.

Ah. It was pretty much in the exact center of all the fighting. Fun.

How about no?

He looked around wildly for inspiration. What to do, what to do, what to do…

He ran out from behind the car and made his way over to the building where he had last seen Tim’s flash. The gang members would likely be there for a while, probably until Jason could come over, and Tim’s situation would get worse by the second. Hopefully the kid had enough sense to hide…

He stepped inside the old office building. Abandoned, probably, there was a thin coating of dust on everything and the only light in the place was a result of the sunlight streaming in through open windows.

He listened in for anyone and winced when he heard a metallic clang above him. He ran up the stairs and looked around.

A kid… was trying to fight… five fully grown gang members…

It was going about as well as you’d expect.

Would it kill people to have even a scrap of common sense?

He flinched when he heard a bone crunch.

Adrien grabbed the nearest desk lamp and looked around. He hooked it around a light and tested the strength…

Not great.

Whatever, he was already injured.

He heard a gunshot outside and breathed a sigh of relief. Jason, probably.

Hopefully...

The gang members looked up at the sound and Adrien took his chance, pressing his hand to the floor and mumbling a Cataclysm.

Black webbed along the floor and it crumbled beneath everyone.

He swung over and grabbed Tim from thin air. Much like he’d expected, the cord snapped under their combined weight and they were in free fall. Adrien pulled the kid to his stomach and flipped them around in the air to make sure he was the only one to actually hit the ground.

Adrien hit the floor and tried not to think about the piece of rubble now lodged in his back and the way the bullet in his shoulder was definitely displaced now and he was bleeding faster and OW.

He released his grip on Tim so his claws wouldn’t dig into him and rested his head back on the cold floor.

“You alright, Tim?”

“Not really.”

He wheezed out a laugh. “Same here.”

He felt Tim shift his weight on top of him and winced mentally at the rubble digging into him, and looked over. It was dark, the sunlight had been clouded by the dust drawn up by the collapse of the second floor. He didn’t know if Tim could see but that was fine. Adrien could.

He slowly pushed himself up and looked for any sign of movement.

He could see a couple of the gang members stirring. He shook his head a little bit and rested a hand on top of Tim’s head. “Stay. I’ll be back.”

“I’m not a dog.”

“Don’t care. Stay. Here.”

Tim looked annoyed but he sat himself down and rested his head on his hand. Adrien glanced him over. One of his legs was definitely broken and he was littered with thin cuts and bruises but he seemed otherwise fine.

Maybe his definition of ‘fine’ needed some work…

He pulled his attention back to the people that were getting up and he grabbed a nearby blunt object: a rock!

Well, a piece of the floor, but it was pretty much a rock.

Adrien made his way around with his rock and made sure that everyone would stay down. He didn’t exactly aim to kill but he wasn’t exactly concerned if he ended up doing so.

After a few minutes he walked back over to Tim and he slowly helped him to his feet, letting him sling an arm over him for support as he helped him walk out.

Jason was outside, checking bodies for extra bullets.

He looked up and frowned. “You look awful.”

“Thanks. I have a photoshoot tomorrow and I was really hoping that I would like ‘awful’ for it.”

“No problem.” His eyes found their way to Tim and he rolled his eyes. “So, what, are you adopting him, now?”

Tim frowned. “I… have parents.”

“Barely,” muttered Adrien.

“Mom will kill you if you adopt another kid.”

“I’m not scared of Mari.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Yes, I am.”

He sighed and closed his eyes.

He didn’t just want to leave a kid in a bad situation, but Marinette had been annoyed by him adopting Jason…

He peeked an eye open and looked at the kid next to him.

“I have a plan.”

“Oh no,” mumbled Jason.

Adrien looked at Tim. “Would you like to live with us?”

Tim thought for a minute, then shrugged. “It would be cool to actually have someone in the house with me.”

“Oh no,” Jason mumbled again, starting to mess with his rings.

Adrien broke into a grin.

“Awesome. Let’s get you home.”

~

Marinette noticed Tim the moment she walked into the kitchen.

She gave her husband a tired look. “Please tell me you didn’t adopt another one.”

“I didn’t. He has parents, I can’t adopt him.”

Her eyes found Dick’s for confirmation. He gave a small shrug.

She relaxed a little bit. “Good. Why’s he here?”

“He got hurt stalking me, his leg’s all busted up.”

Tim showed her his leg and she winced. They’d set it back into place but all the bandages said that it couldn’t have been a nice experience.

“Sorry about that, sweetie, do you want a cake or something? I can make one.”

Tim smiled. “No, thank you.”

Marinette, who had already been pulling out pans, gave him a confused look. She slowly put the pans back. “Oh… okay.”

“I have a dietician. She’d kill me if I went too far off,” he explained. “But I’ve heard good things about your baking.”

She nodded slowly. “Right.”

Adrien met her eyes hesitantly and she knew that whatever he was going to say she wasn’t going to like it.

“I’m going to train him in self-defense.”

She clicked her tongue. She knew what that meant by now. “You are not making this random child a vigilante. It’s bad enough when we let our own kids do it, he isn’t ours.”

Adrien held up his hands. “He got hurt stalking us. I just don’t want a repeat. I won’t give him a miraculous, okay?”

She frowned suspiciously but nodded that he could do that.

Adrien visibly relaxed.

Marinette took in the bandaging on her husband and she frowned. “How bad is it?”

“Uh… one bullet to the shoulder and some shrapnel got me in the back. Not that bad.”

She nodded and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his lips. “No patrol for a month.”

“But --.”

“No.”

He pouted a little bit but nodded. “Fine. I can still help this kid learn self-defense, though, right?”

She considered this for a minute and then nodded. “Since you’re teaching basics you’re not going to be doing much physically… so, yes. But get help from someone if you want to do anything strenuous.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah.”

Marinette hummed lightly. She glanced at the time. She had a few hours to patrol before Dick confirmed she hadn’t slept in a few days and came to physically knock her out…

She started up the coffee machine.

(Dick narrowed his eyes in the background and started trying to remember when the last time she’d gone to sleep was.)

“Ew, you drink coffee?” Said Tim.

Marinette slowly turned on him, her eyes narrowing. “It keeps you awake.”

Adrien and Dick looked hopeful, probably thinking that Tim would make her realize her caffeine addiction and tendency not to sleep was unhealthy.

And then he spoke: “Sure, but have you tried energy drinks? They taste better and have sugar.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Not enough caffeine.”

“You haven’t found Bam, then. Once you get past their political donations they’re GREAT. A 16 ounce can has almost three times as much caffeine as a cup of coffee.”

The other guys went pale.

She broke into a wide grin. “I like you.”

“This was a mistake,” mumbled Adrien.

“Yep! C’mon, Tim, we’re going to the store. I'll help you walk.”

~

Listen, opening a portal to a pocket dimension wasn’t easy… but he was perfectly willing to do it for his kid.

No. His soon-to-be kid. His wife still hadn’t said yes.

No. His soon-to-be younger housemate. Tim still had legal parents.

Whatever.

It was good, too, the portal was hidden to the naked eye for everyone but him, so there was no worries of Marinette finding out too early.

(Unless she just decided to randomly lean against the wall in the hallway.)

And, as far as pocket dimensions go, it was decent. Empty outside of a few things that Tim had brought over from his house and a lot smaller than any other room in the house... but decent. It didn’t have a single monster living in it, that’s pretty good by pocket dimension standards.

Jason and Dick had both complained when they realized that Tim got a room of his own, even though they knew the circumstances. Adrien was forced to make another.

Was Adrien a little worried that the dimension that they were currently in would become unstable if he opened two portals in close proximity to each other? Yes. But it didn’t collapse on them when he did it, so it’s all good.

There had been a monster in that one.

Adrien was going to be feeling that bite on his arm for the next few years, he thought.

But, hey, at least now everyone had their own rooms. And all the boys seemed happier for it.

Well, Jason still seemed a little annoyed that there was now another kid in the house and Dick was clearly anxious that Marinette would find out and get mad at them and Tim was clearly struggling to understand the whole ‘no longer an only child that lives mostly alone and therefore needs to at least wear pants around the house’ thing, but shhhhhhh avoiding problems is the Agreste forte.

Yes, even Tim Drake was in the practice of avoiding problems.

Adrien figured that if he adopted enough kids eventually one of them would have a good coping mechanism and they could steal that.

But, until then, avoiding problems would have to work.

~

A routine was forming, and she hated it.

She’d go to work for a large part of the day, and then get picked up by Dick. She’d spend about two hours in the break room drinking the free coffee and scrolling through her phone so her son could chat up the commissioner’s daughter. She’d grab him by the arm with some vague excuse about how they needed to get home. She’d get dropped off at random places in Gotham and start on patrols. She’d get home early in the morning and chug another few cans of Bam with Tim.

Then she’d start it all over again.

But she’d hated it more when the routine was suddenly broken.

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder and nearly tore the file she was looking through in half in her surprise. It surely couldn’t be time for Dick to pick her up yet…

She looked over at her computer for the time and her eyes caught the reflection of Barbara on the black screen.

Marinette slowly turned around. “Hey.”

“Can I talk with you in private?”

She tried not to tense up. Most of the time when people say that you’re in trouble. She didn’t want to get in trouble with the boss’s daughter.

“Mhmm!” She handed the file over to Ross to hold onto and then followed Barbara down a few halls and up to the roof. She sent Tikki out to check for people and relaxed a little bit when the kwami shook their head no. Maybe this could just be about Dick --.

“Do you not like me?”

She blanked. “Huh? I… what? No. Do you think I’d stay after to let my son flirt with you every day if I didn’t?”

“No, but then I have to question why you always cut us short.”

“We have stuff to do at home.”

She shrugged. “But you hardly ever go home.”

Marinette took a cautious step back. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you and Dick never seem to go the same way twice when you leave.”

“You watch that?”

She shrugged again. “Of course. At first I thought it had something to do with traffic or errands, but then why would you always list a home activity?”

“Because what we do at our house is none of your concern,” said Marinette.

Barbara smiled. “You know, I work at the library.”

She tried not to frown at the change of subject. It was weird, but at least it had moved away from where she went at night.

“Alright.”

“I know your other son, Jason. He comes by pretty frequently with his dad.”

“Alright.”

“Want to tell me why he and I have had long conversations about how we hate cops?”

Marinette wanted to punch something. Still, she forced a smile. “It’s perfectly normal for kids to take opposite stances about things than their parents. Just like you and your dad.”

“Sure, but then why do you act like you hate cops?”

Wow. Even the commissioner's daughter knew she hated being a cop. She really needed to brush up on her acting skills… or get new ones. She didn’t know if she’d ever been good at acting.

“Listen, I know you’re planning to take this place down, I’m not stupid. I won’t rat you out, I want in.”

Well, that was a development.

Marinette narrowed her eyes slightly. “Really? Why should I trust you?”

“Because I’m dating your son, maybe?”

“YOU’RE DATING?!”

“YOU DIDN’T KNOW?!”

Both women immediately pulled out their phones and started texting Dick. Nothing bonds people better than anger and they were both ready to kill.

MA: come to the precinct please

#1Sweetie: kjsklfjdskfjdks does this have anything to do with barbara texting me at the same time

MA: yes

#1Sweetie: i’ll be right there

MA: were on the roof

Dick deleted and then retyped his message four times before sending:

#1Sweetie: fun can’t wait

For someone who ‘can’t wait’ he sure took his sweet time, though.

Now, if it was only Marinette that was mad, it probably would have just blown over. However, Barbara wasn’t an Agreste. She actually knew how to deal with problems.

When Dick finally managed to get up to the roof, he found the two women glaring at him.

“So, care to explain why you didn’t tell me you were dating Barbara?” Marinette said with a bright smile.

Dick looked to the side and then brought a smile to his face. “I was just waiting for the right time to announce it.”

They both shared skeptical looks and then looked back at him.

“Okay, fine. It’s because I didn’t want to be the one to bring another person into the house, Mari would’ve killed me.”

Marinette accepted that answer. Fair enough. She would have. If Marinette and Adrien not had jobs they might have been able to keep up with three (and a half including Tim, who was around enough because of his stalking and self-defense lessons for her to somewhat count him) other people in their house, but she doubted that they could fully parent three kids with both their civilian and vigilante jobs.

Dick relaxed a little and walked over to the women, taking a seat in front of them. “Are we alright?”

They both gave him nods, then gave each other wary looks.

Marinette glanced at the time. “I’ll be back to talk more about this after work. Meet us at the car?”

A few hours later, they all filed into the car. Dick and Barbara took the back seat and Marinette angled her mirror to watch them just in case.

“Right, where are you on your investigation?” Asked Barbara.

“She knows --?”

“Yep, you’re behind, sweetie.” Marinette glanced at the mirror and found Dick messing with a rubix cube and Barbara listening intently. “Right now we’re searching for proof of corruption in the police force. The higher up I can get the easier it will be to actually have people prosecuted.”

“... are you having any trouble with getting proof?”

She shrugged. “Unfortunately. It’s not like they document when they let someone go and it’s way too easy to claim that people were all bloody before they got there.”

Barbara frowned. “Take pictures.”

“Cops are stupid, but they’re not that stupid. If I take out a camera they’re going to notice.”

“Write it down yourself, then.”

“It’s my word against theirs.”

Barbara groaned. Marinette could relate. She’d been struggling to find any kind of proof that wouldn’t immediately be traced back to her for over a month now.

And all she needed was proof, really. She knew that Barbara’s dad, at least, wasn’t a bad cop. He was just, somehow, painfully unaware of the corruption in his precinct. If given proof of a person’s corruption he would, at the very least, fire them.

“Doesn’t help that the kind of people that the police let go are usually killed by one of the vigilantes before they get to the police,” added Dick.

“And, even if we were the kind of people that vigilantes talked to, it’s not like they could stop killing those people without everyone getting suspicious.”

“... I’m beginning to think this might be impossible.”

She gave a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Probably.” She pulled up in her driveway and blinked a few times. “Um… sorry for kidnapping you.”

“It’s cool, I wanted to ask Jason about some of his books.”

“Are they overdue?”

Barbara smiled. “Yep. I need to know if he lost it or if I should just recheck it out for him.”

Marinette nodded absently. “Cool. Dick, drive her home when she’s done? I need to go grocery shopping.”

She waved at them and then got out of the car, tossing the keys to Dick without either of them glancing over. With that, she head off for patrols.

~

Adrien blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing this.

Dick had a girlfriend. Who was the commissioner's daughter. Who was also a librarian at the library that he and Jason frequented.

And she knew about the whole ‘trying to take down random people in the police force so Marinette can advance and prosecute people properly’ thing.

But not the vigilante thing. The vigilante thing was too far, apparently.

He needed to sit down for a minute.

Adrien pulled a knee to his chest from his spot on the counter.

Jason had been the most blunt: “Did dad adopt you, too?”

“I have parents.”

“That didn’t stop him from adopting Tim.”

“I’m also dating your brother, that would mess things up.”

Jason relaxed a little bit when he realized that Adrien wouldn’t adopt her… and then he laughed. “Wait, you’re dating Dickwad?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you had taste.”

Barbara and Jason grinned at each other, much to Dick’s annoyance.

“Adrien! They’re being rude!” He complained.

He shrugged absently. “I don’t control them.”

“You can control Jason! He’s your kid! Take away his trust fund or something!”

“WAIT WHAT NO --.”

Adrien cut him off by laughing. “That would be funny but I doubt Mari would be alright with that.”

Tim walked in with a can of Bam and some instant coffee mix. Everyone watched in horror as he started pouring the Bam into the water part of the coffee maker.

“Hey, Timmy, whatcha doing?” Asked Adrien, despite being very sure he did not want to hear the answer.

Tim looked up. “Experiment.”

“I thought you didn’t like the taste of coffee, though…”

“It’ll be worth it for the extra caffeine.”

Jason laughed a little bit. “You’re going to die. Go ahead, though, I want to see it happen.”

Dick and Adrien met eyes. They needed to destroy that thing and also maybe find a way to block Marinette and Tim from getting to the store.

They nodded at each other before getting to work pulling Tim away from his creation.

~

Marinette hummed as she finished off the fourth cake she’d baked and decorated with a flourish.

She started washing the dishes she’d just used because she had run out of free pans to bake with and she couldn’t restart until they were washed.

Dick groaned from the doorway, holding his head as he slowly made his way inside.

“Good morning, sweetie.”

He groaned again and then apparently caught sight of the cakes on the table. He frowned a little bit. “Um…”

“I made a vanilla cake for you. It’s the one with the buttercream flowers.”

Dick hesitated for a minute before shrugging and sitting down with the cake. “Thanks, mom, but are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“... mom… as much as I love your cakes, you only bake this much when you’re stressed.”

She clicked her tongue. “Sweetie… I doubt you’ll be able to think of a solution if Adrien, Barbara, and I couldn’t think of something.”

“You went to Barbara and not me? Come on! At least let me try.”

She doubted that he could be of any help but whatever. If she told him and he couldn’t come up with something then he’d leave the subject alone, and if he came up with something then they’d have a solution. Win-win. Kinda.

“I have no clue how we’re going to get proof that people are corrupt.”

Dick thought for a minute, then shrugged. “Have someone join the mob. Any mob. There has to be at least a few moles. Take a few pictures or collect names and then take them to the commissioner.”

Marinette shook her head slowly. “Can’t, no one has enough time.”

“I do.”

“Sure, but you’re a kid and we’re not letting a kid join the mob.”

Dick huffed. “I’m twenty-three.”

“You don’t have any skills that the mob is looking for.”

“I’m a lawyer, they’d love to have me.”

“No.”

“But --!”

“NO, RICHARD!”

Dick flinched a little bit and looked down. He gave a quiet groan of irritation and pushed himself out of his chair. He took his cake to his room.

She closed her eyes. The problem would be gone by morning, but that didn’t mean that she liked that they’d fought.

She opened her eyes again and started pulling down ingredients.

~

Adrien knew that Marinette would catch on soon. It had been months since the incident, Tim was more than capable of taking care of himself. He was pretty sure the only reason that she hadn’t noticed anything was because her schedule was so messed up that she wasn’t registering time right.

He knew he should tell her but he couldn’t bring himself to. What if she kicked Tim out? What if she made him stop seeing the kid entirely? He couldn’t let that happen, the kid had gone through enough. No, he would have to wait for the perfect moment.

If she didn’t find out first.

Marinette walked into the kitchen in the morning and everyone tensed and glanced at Tim, who was casually playing a video game and definitely not learning self-defense.

Adrien sighed. Could he say he was just making sure Tim ate so he wouldn’t pass out? Would she believe that?

She walked over to the fridge and grabbed a can of Bam and then glanced back at the boys, her eyes glazed with exhaustion.

Then she gave every boy in the room a kiss on the cheek.

Yes, even Tim.

“I’ll be back after work. Are you picking me up like usual, sweetie?”

Dick blinked a few times and then stifled laughter with his hand. Once he’d managed to get his voice under control, he spoke: “Yep! I can’t wait to see Babs.”

“Gross. Right, I’m heading out.”

Everyone watched in stunned silence as she walked out.

Jason’s face soured.

And then he snapped his fingers. “I got it… HEY, MOM! YOU FORGOT THAT ROSS BROKE THE COFFEE MACHINE AT WORK!”

There was a beat.

“Jay, what the heck?” Hissed Adrien.

Marinette walked back in. “Guess who has been promoted to favorite.”

Dick gasped. “Wait, I was favorite beforehand?”

“No, Adrien was. I’m not telling you which kid was winning.”

“Hold up, I’ve been replaced as favorite over caffeine?”

Marinette nodded. She stole Tim’s laptop bag from him and then set three cans of the energy drink inside.

“Great, I’m off for real now.”

Jason slammed his head on the table, partially pulling his mother out of her stupor. “OH MY KWAMI. Mom. Tim has been living with us --.”

Adrien had clamped his hand over the kid’s mouth, but it was too late.

Marinette’s eyes slowly found their way to Tim and her face shifted from bored to angry in half a second.

He swallowed thickly. “M’lady, I can explain.”

“Please do.”

He hesitated. He hadn’t thought he’d get this far.

Her grip tightened on the strap of her bag when her phone went off in her pocket. She bit her lip and shook her head. She told her boss that she would be late because of a family matter, her eyes never leaving his.

He gave his most award-winning smile.

The kids filed out, though they both knew that they were going to just stand outside the door to listen in.

“Adrien, Tim has parents. You realize you essentially kidnapped that kid.”

“He went willingly!”

“Tell that to the cops!” She gave a bitter laugh. “Wait, you already are!”

He winced. “I know, I’m sorry. I couldn’t just leave him with his parents, though, they suck.”

Marinette clicked her tongue. “We can’t keep him. He isn’t ours and, even if he was, we hardly have the time to take care of three kids!”

“Dick can take care of himself, he’s an adult. So we’re back down to two! Actually, he can help take care of Tim, too, so less than two!”

“Remember when we said we wouldn’t have any?!”

“But we did fine!”

She groaned. “You’re not getting my point!”

“And you’re not getting mine! We can’t just leave that kid to suffer!”

“He’d suffer if he was with us, too!”

“He deserves people that love him to take care of him!”

“So does every kid on Earth! Are you going to adopt them all?!”

He rolled his eyes. “I want to but we have a limit... but this isn’t it! We’ve been doing just fine so far! He’s attached to us, we can’t just throw him out now!”

“I can’t let this one slide because I keep letting kids come in. It has to stop.”

“This is the last one,” he promised.

“I’ve heard that one before.”

“But I mean it this time.”

She scrutinized him for a long time, her lips pressed tightly together.

And then she clicked her tongue.

“Last one,” she muttered, pulling a new can from her bag and then turning. “I’ll see you after work.”

He watched her leave. He should say something, he should call her back and apologize, he should at least admit that what he was doing was wrong…

The front door slammed.

He slowly fell back into a chair and rested his face in his hands… only to realize it was wet. How long had he been crying? He breathed out a sigh.

He could feel eyes on him. He peeked between his fingers and saw the kids standing in the doorway, mouths slightly agape. He wiped his face on his sleeve and brought a smile back to his face.

Jason messed with his rings as he turned around and walked to his room.

“You didn’t want kids?” Asked Dick quietly.

His smile slid from his face.

“Not exactly. We wanted kids, but we figured we’d never be able to have them. I’m sorry it came out that way.”

Dick relaxed a little bit.

Adrien pushed himself up and walked over to Tim, resting a hand on top of his head.

“Right, welcome to the family, officially.”

~

Marinette rested her head on her desk.

“Um…?” Began Ross.

“Don’t. I’m not in the mood.”

“Okay.”

She heard his fingers get back to work on his keyboard and closed her eyes.

She’d officially hit a wall. What she needed was to get her hands on the security camera’s footage but she knew that they simply turned off the cameras when they let someone go.

Her mind wandered to Tim.

She bit her lip and sat up, pulling up a new tab and searching up “Haly’s Circus Dick Grayson” but, to her surprise, she found that any footage of her son during his time there had been scrubbed clean.

So, the kid had been telling the truth?

Well, he might be able to fix her current problem…

And, honestly, she was pretty much desensitized to the idea of a kid vigilante at this point. Partially because their family was up to four people who started being vigilantes as kids and partially because Dick and Jason had saved Marinette and Adrien quite a few times.

Besides, like it or not Tim was in the family now. That’s pretty much the main requirement, it seems.

That night she approached Tim about hacking.

“Right, what exactly would you need to hack into the police station security cameras?”

He frowned. “Probably a new computer that isn’t linked to me as a person. And I’d probably need to be inside the security room for a while, or at least the building.”

She thought about this for a minute and nodded. “Okay. I can get you that. Anything else?”

“Can I have a miraculous?”

She waved her hand vaguely. “Yeah, I was going to give you one anyways so we don’t have to do as much to delete footage… I was thinking the horse miraculous. Then you could get in and out of rooms pretty easily.”

“Cool. What are we trying to do, anyways?”

“Keep them from turning off the cameras when they need to do…” She trailed off, pursing her lips tightly. She knew this kid was around thirteen or fourteen, surely he knew all the kinds of things that went down at the GCPD, but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. “... stuff.”

Tim nodded slightly. “I can do that, but I’d need to hide some kind of generator in the room. They might be unplugging the cameras to turn them off, I’d need to change some plugs around.”

“Great.”

They clinked their cans of energy drink together in a sort of toast.

~

Adrien should have expected something to go wrong.

Barbara and Dick had convinced the commissioner to go out to eat with them. Dick was now stressed for two reasons: the mission and the fact that he was officially meeting the parents.

Marinette had cleared a good amount of the precinct by offering to buy drinks. Even if her relationship with the precinct was… less than friendly, few people said no to free drinks paid for by the richest person there. This was mostly just to make sure people weren’t going to do overtime.

And Jason had drawn away the people currently on shift by ‘accidentally’ bowling over an abandoned building while on patrols.

Now it was just up to Adrien and Tim.

There was obviously a few people still there, it would have been too much to hope that the entire place would be empty. It didn’t matter, though, no one was suspicious of them. After all, Marinette would need a ride home and it wasn’t as if he could take Tim to a bar to wait.

And no one was suspicious of the fact that Tim had quickly pulled out his computer to ‘play some games’. Adrien had pulled out his phone as well, mostly to monitor the chats and make sure everyone was doing alright but also because he was bored.

A half hour later he got a tiny tug on his sleeve and looked down to see Tim shaking his head.

Great. On to plan B.

“Does anyone know where the bathroom is?”

They transformed in the bathroom and looked at each other nervously. They’d wanted plan A to work because it wouldn’t draw any attention to the security room…

Tim opened a portal inside and they stepped through. It was only two guys, and Adrien made quick work of them. He tied them up in some spare cables he found and pushed himself back to his feet.

Tim just waved him off and opened a portal for him.

He grinned as he dropped onto the floor of the main room. He looked around casually at the ten people that were still there. One of them was in just charge of guarding the prison, but the other nine were cops.

He tipped his head from side to side, weighing his chances as the cops began pulling out their guns.

Hm. This was much scarier when they could actually see him.

“Don’t move from that spot!”

Adrien raised his eyebrows, glancing at the officer who’d said it. Officer Ross. Of course.

He gave a tiny shrug. “If you say so.”

He extended his staff and smiled when it hit the cop nearest him in the face.

Then Adrien hooked it under a desk and tossed it at Ross.

Great. Now that he had spited that guy, he swung his weapon in a wide arc and took out the lights.

He smiled brightly at the now dark room and looked around as the cops scrambled. Some had already done this before and others had heard the story, but no one was looking for a repeat except for Adrien. He extended his staff to get to the ceiling and considered the people below...

A few of them shot blindly at where he had just been, which was a terrible idea but whatever.

He made his way through the room. He wasn’t killing anyone, though it was tempting after hearing some of Marinette’s stories, just opting to their weapons and moving onto the next person.

He also maybe broke some bones in the process. It happens.

A few minutes later he started making his way back to the security room and he grinned when he saw Tim coming out. He had his laptop under his arm. They’d succeeded.

Adrien took a quick look around and spotted a security camera. “Got it?”

“No, they deleted everything,” he lied.

He forced himself to frown (it was surprisingly hard to do after years of smiling for every camera he saw). “Dang. Guess we’ll need a new plan then. Let’s get home.”

Tim opened a portal back to the bathroom and they detransformed. They waited a few minutes before Adrien slowly peeked his head out the door. He held Tim behind him protectively as they walked through the precinct.

They got to the main room and found everyone groaning. A few of them had found flashlights or had turned on computers for lights.

“Is everyone okay? I heard gunshots!” Said Adrien, frowning.

Officer Ross, whose arm was bent at an odd angle, gave the kindest smile he could. “It’s fine, we just had a vigilante come by. It seems like everything is done, now, though.”

Adrien nodded a little bit.

“Good. Everything’s done.”

~

Marinette was one of ten people who didn’t get a jail sentence.

Now, she eyed the two-weeks notice on her desk. No one would be suspicious if she decided to leave. Fifty people had gone to jail, no one wants to stick around to see if they’re next.

Commissioner Gordon had resigned, too. Something about how he was disgusted about being so blind.

She bit her lip as she sat there at her desk, her computer on a How To video on quitting if you technically had no boss. Unfortunately, it seemed that she had phrased the question wrong because now it was telling her how to shut down a sole proprietorship.

“Agreste?”

She paused the video and looked up, her head tipping to the side as she took the man in. She knew that she knew him from somewhere, but her brain couldn’t seem to place a name to the face. “That’s me.”

“Could I speak to you alone for a minute?”

“Uh… sure. I’d love to.”

“I was thinking the roof? That’s a pretty private place, don’t you think?”

She pursed her lips tightly. She did not like where this was going in the slightest. “Well, sometimes people take their smoke break up there --.”

“Don’t worry, I know there’s no one up there.”

“Oh. Great.”

“Isn’t it?”

She nodded, letting him lead the way to the roof.

Her hand dipped into her back pocket and she cursed herself out mentally when she realized it was still on her desk. She wondered if she could get away with asking to go back for it. Somehow, she doubted it.

Marinette closed the door behind them.

She smiled at the man. “You wanted to talk?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid, Agreste.” He turned and flashed her a blinding smile. “Why don’t you guess what’s going on?”

“Well… I assume I’m in trouble,” she said carefully. Her eyes searched nearby rooftops and windows. “And that you have at least one person around that could kill me, probably a sniper since you chose a rooftop and not an alley.”

“Correct!” He said. He turned away from her and started pacing around. “What do you think you’re in trouble for?”

She hummed as if in thought. “You seem to be the one asking all the questions. Mind if I at least know who you are?”

“I asked you a question first.”

She forced a tiny laugh. “Sure, but no one likes admitting when they do things wrong. Besides, what if I fess up to the wrong thing? Then I have two reasons for you to want to kill me.”

“Just. Guess.”

Hm…

He couldn’t know about her being Ladybug, they’d done too much to make sure no one knew her identity. No one outside of Dick had ever done anything that could be traced back to them, and all that footage was gone from the internet forever.

Then what could he have found out about?

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

He scrutinized her face for a minute before frowning and shaking his head. “Agoura.”

“Huh?”

“My name. It’s Antony Agoura.”

Oh. Oh fuck.

Well, at least now she knew where she’d seen him before?

He folded his hands in front of him, smiling at her. “I see you know me.”

“Of course I do.”

He nodded. “Good. Now, I want to ask you a question.”

“Another one?” She said quietly.

“Mhmm. I’d like to know if you think I’m stupid.”

“Of course not.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You know, the day that Chat Noir bust into the police station was odd.”

“I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t there.”

“Yep! Odd, don’t you think? Someone who previously didn’t get along with her coworkers suddenly decides to take them all out for free drinks. That same night, her son takes the commissioner out to dinner. The precinct was almost completely empty thanks to your family.”

Great. That was why that was plan B. She was screwed.

She nodded slightly, her throat tightening. “You don’t say…”

“And, on top of that, the vigilantes were acting weird! I mean, they were all set on distracting people and keeping them as far away as possible!”

“That’s… odd.”

“Mhmm!” He smiled and rested a hand on her shoulder. “An interesting coincidence, don’t you think?”

She nodded again, fighting the urge to shrug him off. “Yeah.”

He steered her to the door. “I’d like to congratulate you on your promotion, by the way.”

“The…?”

“Being commissioner is such an honor!”

She scoffed. “You couldn’t get away with that. I’m the newest person here, it’s too suspicious.”

“You think?”

“Yeah --.”

He opened the door and she fought the urge to flinch at all the cameras suddenly flashing in her face.

“Congratulations!”

“How do you feel about being the first commissioner of asian descent?”

Her eyes widened. Oh. So, it turns out Agoura definitely could get away with that.

She glanced to the side to see the cops who had been there longer clapping with sarcastic smiles on their faces. “Congrats!” Said one in a tone that definitely said that she was dead.

The mob boss moved his grip to hug her to his side, smiling brightly and waving at the press.

“Smile for the cameras, Agreste.”

~~~

Taglist

@i-am-ironic @nathleigh @mialuvscats @golden-promises @sassakitty @deathwishy @toodaloo-kangaroo @ladythugs @moonlightstar64 @dahjokester @jjmjjktth

[ladyanput]

Seeing Red Ch.5

I’m so close to finishing this darned story. 

Eva woke up bleary-eyed and sore all over. With a grumble, she pulled on her jeans, ignoring the ache that happened when the material rubbed against the bruises on her inner thighs. As she looked down at herself, she lightly touched the hickies and bite marks left along her collarbone and neck, cursing under her breath as she tugged on a black turtleneck. Red Hood had been quite rough last night, after she had finally been able to let him into the hotel room, not that she had really minded. But now the consequences were causing her to limp towards the elevator and lean against the wall, cursing how she had slept in, she had been looking forward to having breakfast with Marinette and her friends. Rose and Juleka were absolutely adorable, in her opinion, and Ivan seemed like a nice kid. They never set out to do anything malicious, but they had leaned pretty hard into Lila’s lies. 

But, hell, if Marinette was going to give them a second chance, Eva could bite her tongue and join her. Not everyone deserved a second chance, but she was willing to give them one. But only because of Marinette. 

But when she stepped out of the elevator and saw the looks on the students’ faces, she got an unsettled feeling, stirring deep within her gut.

And when they all eventually got to the realization that Marinette was missing, she felt as if she wanted to vomit. 

Police roamed the floor, some had gone up to Marinette’s room, it was a mess. And when Batman and his crew stepped into the hotel’s lobby, the tension in Eva’s shoulders only grew worse. 

The blood seemed to pump hard through her veins, the rush of it filling her ears, almost deafening as her breathing grew heavier. She didn’t hear all of the lies Lila told to the police, of her possibly running off with an older man. She didn’t hear about how Alya was shouting that Marinette dipped out often during events, it was commonplace, she’d be fine, completely forgetting about how they were in a city full of villains that would not hesitate to kill their victims. 

“Vixen.” A familiar pair of hands firmly grasped her shoulders, slingshotting her back into the present. She grasped the front of Red Hood’s shirt as she stepped closer to him.

"Please, let me help somehow!" Her grip tightened on him  as she felt her body begin to shake. Her mind raced at all of the horrible possible scenarios, the Joker, maybe the Penguin, anyone could have Marinette, could be hurting her, she could be dead, or dying, anything could be happening! "Please, I need to help, please."

"We can handle it!" Her gaze was drawn to the towering figure of Robin as he approached. He seemed tense, a bit on edge, as if he were about to lash out at any moment. She pressed her lips in a thin line as she listened to the bickering between the two, before she squeezed her eyes shut. 

And there she stood, hearing nothing as the police walked around her, as did the students. Her gaze flickered over to Caline and anger shot through her as the sight of the teacher looking more interrupted than concerned. Did none of them get it, not a single one of them? This wasn’t Paris, these villains here aren’t Hawkmoth, she could seriously be hurt. 

“Has anyone seen Adrien?” Alix was the one to ask it, around an hour later. The vigilantes were already gone, most of the police were gone. Eva’s eyes darted around the room, finally noticing the lack of the model, and a queasy feeling curled in her stomach.

“My poor Adrien, he must have gone out to look for Marinette. I can’t believe he’d give into her tricks, he might get hurt..” Lila suddenly sobbed out, drawing all eyes to her before she buried her face into her hands. “What can I do? He could get hurt! Last night he told me that they fought, because she’s been stalking him again” 

“Is this what it always sounded like to you guys?” Ivan stepped over and whispered into Eva’s ear, failing to notice the sweat forming on Eva’s brow. She then gave a slow nod, her eyes glazed over ever so slightly as her mind raced. Adrien, Adrien was missing too.. Marinette and Adrien, both gone, no one had seen them leave. They were often disappearing at the same time, but that was during akuma attacks, so it was understandable that they’d get separated in the chaos.. 

Eva felt herself moving towards the elevators before she realized what she was doing. She pressed the button for Marinette’s floor and slowly the elevator rose. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall, listening to the rumble of the gears as he mind raced. Something didn’t feel right, something just didn’t click. Marinette wouldn’t have left with a stranger, she usually tried her hardest to tell Eva where she was going. She did her hardest to let Eva know if she was going to run late.

Eva’s eyes snapped open as she stepped into the hallway. Police tape was covering the doorway to Marinette’s room. There was a dark stain on the carpet just outside of the door, and panic spiked in Eva before she saw it was a dark brown, not red. Coffee, perhaps? 

She ducked under the tape and stepped into the room, eyeing it very carefully. The police had been here, and she knew she would get in trouble if she was caught standing in a crime scene, but something… Something drew her here. Something told her she absolutely needed to be here. 

Eva stepped deeper into the room, eyeing everything. Nothing was scattered, no mess. The bed was neatly made, her luggage tucked neatly into the corner, next to the empty closet, that contained only a few wire hangers.  Eva passed the luggage, heading towards the dresser, but paused at the sound of a soft ‘thunk’.

Slowly, she turned and spotted the round spotted object that rolled out into the middle of the floor. Eva found her mouth going dry as she moved over, knelt next to the odd object. She had never seen it before in her life, Marinette had never mentioned bringing out a.. Was it a box? She reached out, and eyed the symbols on it. Was it a project, maybe regarding the Parisian heroes? 

Her fingertips brushed over the symbol of a fox tail, before the small door swung open. Inside, laid on a silken cushion, was a charm in the shape of a fox tail. Eva felt her throat tightened at the sight of it, before she stumbled back with a squeak as a bright light burst from the box. She landed rather hard on her sore bottom with a rather loud groan, her eyes snapping shut as she winched. 

“Well, I have to say, you’re not as graceful as I expect my Chosen to be.” The voice that spoke was playful, having an almost childish tone. "Grace is a fox's most alluring quality, you know."

Eva glanced up and stared at the small creature that floated before her very eyes. It was a small fox, from what she could tell, with large purple eyes, about the exact shade as her own.

"Who.. Who are you?" Eva managed as she shifted onto her knees, the abrupt action caused the little fox to float back an inch. "Please, don't go!"

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere. As for myself, I'm Trixx, I am the Kwami of Illusion!" The chipper mood of this.. Kwami seemed so different than the mood that had been carrying on all day. Eva's mind instantly flashed to Marinette and she squeezed her eyes tight. "Hey, what's wrong? Don't throw up on the carpet, I'm not good at cleaning!"

"Wait.. You were in Marinette's bag. Do you know Marinette? Do you know where she's gone? Is she hurt? Please, I need to find her, I need to save her! She's my family, I can't lose her when I just got her!" Eva reached for the Kwami, who promptly flew out of her reach.

"Eva, you must calm down." A small red and black spotted creature flew down from the top of the wardrobe, joining Trixx to stare at the woman kneeling on the floor, next to the Miraculous box. "Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag. Or the fox is out of the box, isn't it? Eva, Marinette is in danger. Chat Noir has her."

"Wait, what? But why would he have Marinette, isn't he usually after Ladybu-" Tikki and Trixx watched as the gears turned in the woman's mind, watched as the realization lit up in those large purple eyes. "No fucking way.. Is.. Is Marinette Ladybug? Like, that has to be the reason, you kind of look like a Ladybug, and why she had this weird box, and I guess she and Ladybug do look alike, and the two of them are never in the same place at once-"

"Evangeline!" Tikki raised her voice, which caused Eva's mouth to snap shut. "We don't have much time! I know that Robin and his teammates are out looking for her, but.. They've never faced any of the Miraculous before, I'm worried that they won't know how to deal with it. They need someone who wields a Miraculous to help them."

"Oh." Eva blinked, then reached into her purse, pulling out her cell phone. "Is anyone in the class a Miraculous person? Or anyone back in France? Like, you guys teleport, right? At least one of you has to." 

"There's not enough time. Right now, I want you to do it. Put on that necklace and become the new Fox heroine!" Tikki picked up the fox necklace, held it out. "Please!"

"Whoa." Eva held up a hand. "No way. I don't have any proper training."

"The Miraculous is all that you need."

"Might I remind you that Red Hood and the others have guns. Surely they can handle this."

"And might I remind you that Chat Noir can destroy anything he touches and turn it into ash?"

".. Okay, fine, how do I turn this thing on?" Eva muttered as she snapped up the necklace and put it on. It felt so cold against her skin, causing her to shiver.

"All you have to do is say 'Trixx, let's pounce', then you'll transform! Trust me, I have a feeling you'll be a natural!" Trixx piped up, a grin on his face. 

…

Lady Vixen ran across snow covered rooftops at a supernatural speed. She felt weightless, as she seemed to defy gravity as she jumped from one roof to another without any effort. 

Tikki was curled up, protected from the harsh elements by the thick fur of Vixen's tail. She seemed to have adapted to these powers like a fish to water.

"I see they've already begun without me." Vixen clicked her tongue as she caught sight of the warehouse in the distance, noticing that the large doors were wide open.

She made a step towards them as she landed on the ground, but paused when she heard the screaming. She managed to peek around the corner, watching as Robin and Chat Noir engaged in some intense fighting. A quick look around made her see all of the bodies scattered about, many of them with their limbs twisted at odd angles.

Vixen realized that facing Chat Noir head on would be a suicidal mission, if anything. He was strong, used to his powers, and unhinged by the sounds on his rants about how 'Ladybug was all his', like the disgusting 'nice guys' she had met in the past. But then her eyes widened when she got the idea.

She disguised herself as Ladybug, and acted fairly well, she assumed, looking so heartbroken and disgusted at Chat's actions. And it was oh so satisfying when she kicked that cat's ass across the warehouse. And as she stood on his chest, she angled her heel and stomped on his throat, hearing the choking sounds giving her such satisfaction.  She glared down at Chat Noir, at those glazed over green eyes that held such fury, such madness. Guilt and rage curled in Vixen’s gut as she was thrown off of Chat, but landed rather gracefully on her feet, just next Marinette. 

“Are those high heels?” Marinette hissed from between bluish lips, her eyes narrowing a fraction as she stared at the fox heroine. Vixen merely gave her a grin. If Marinette was well enough to give snide remarks, she’d be fine. 

"Hey Sugar Cookie, I think this belongs to you!" The fox unfurled her tail, Tikki darting out and Vixen watched at the heartwarming reunion of the two.  She then returned her gaze to where Chat was struggling to his feet, his hand pulsing with a dark energy. She unsheathed her claws and rushed forward. 

She ducked under Chat Noir’s swipe, slashing at his stomach, her sharp claws ripping through his costume, though barely grazed his skin, the thin red lines soon oozing blood. 

He grasped her throat with his non powered hand, squeezing as he aimed to stroke, but she rapidly ripped from his grasp and began running backwards. 

Power pumped through her veins as she prepared to help Ladybug take this bastard down. 

…

Vixen smiled as she watched as Red Hood and Nightwing tied Adrien up with some rope they had found lying around. Adrien’s head lolled to the side, a groan leaving his lips. She admired the sight of the boy’s broken nose and the blood dripping down his chin. 

“So..” Vixen turned and watched as Marinette, looking much better as she was bundled in a blanket, her lips having regained their rosy colour. “What do I call the heroine who decided shoulder pads and high heels were a smart choice for a superhero costume?"

Vixen had to suppress a snort as she crossed her arms, cocked a hip. 

"I managed to do flips and cartwheels in these heels, so you don't get to judge."  Vixen pointed a finger at Marinette and gave her a light poke in the shoulder. “But I guess you can call me Lady Vixen.” 

Vixen, without realizing what was really happening, listened to her necklace beep. And in a flash of light, she suddenly felt the cold of the bitter winter night. She shivered and hugged herself. 

Eva opened her mouth, about to make a joke about the cat being out of the bag, when she heard a loud clatter. She looked up sharply and stared at Red Hood, who’s body seemed so tense. Then he took off his helmet, practically ripping it off and tossing it to the side as if it were nothing. 

And Eva found herself looking into the blue eyes of Jason Todd.

"What the fuck? Jaso-" Before Eva could say anything else, Jason grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. Her arms automatically wrapped around his neck, her fingers tangling in his thick dark hair. She whimpered ever so softly, her body giving a soft shiver. 

"You're a fucking crazy woman." He had a faint trace of awe in his voice as he stared into her eyes. 

Eva, mind racing at the sudden realization of who she had been romping for the past few days,  couldn’t stop the giggle that left her lips. 

"I had to save Marinette. She couldn't transform without that red fairy."  

"Yeah, but your form was terrible." Jason grabbed her by the waist and Eva found herself being tossed over his shoulder, eyes wide as she saw that the other vigilantes were watching."You and I need to work on that flexibility of yours."

"Jason, what the fuck are you talking about?" Eva struggled in Jason's tight grip, but stilled when she felt his hand squeeze her inner thigh. Suddenly, her cheeks burned, as she was carried out of the warehouse. "Oh.. OH!"

Now, Eva would usually have gone and embraced Marinette, crying about how relieved she was that the girl was safe. But when she felt his hand slide higher, and her blood began to race, her mind was suddenly only on the fire that burned in her skin.

When they got back to Wayne Manor, under the radar of most of the security cameras and Alfred, clothes began flying off once they entered Jason's room. Eva found herself pinned under Jason, clinging to him as he thrusted so fiercely into her, causing her to cry out. His hands gripped her hips hard enough to bruise, his lips trailing to her breasts, tongue teasing her sweat drenched skin .

“Fuck, I can finally see you as you fuck my brains out.. She managed to pant out, seeing stars as he kept thrusting into her. “Fuck, Jason, yes…”

“You fucking vixen.. Dammit, I shouldn’t have shown you my identity.” Jason whispered against her skin. He hadn’t known what had come over him, his identity was something that was very important. But having watched Eva fight in such a fierce manner and had found out that she had been that fox lady, something had taken over him, his hands had moved on their own. 

“Well, you know mine.. We should be even.” She whispered, reaching up and grabbing his face between her hands, pulling him down for a kiss. “Good to know you’re one of the sexiest men I’ve seen in my life.”

He kissed her again, groaning as he felt her nails digging into his back. 

“You’re all mine now.” He whispered, nuzzling her neck.

…

Eva snuggled into Jason’s side as she read the book he had open with him. If she had been honest, she never thought he’d be one to read Jane Eyre. But that was probably because they didn’t know all that much about each other, yet here they were, in bed together and naked. It all felt so surreal to Eva, now having entered the world of heroes and villains. 

“Marinette had been Ladybug this whole time.. I still can’t wrap my head around it, I thought she was always running off to hide, but she was actually just working really damned hard to keep her secret.” Eva murmured as her eyes skimmed over the words of the book. “But to think she was also in such dangerous situations.. It scares me, but also makes me realize she’s alot stronger than I gave her credit for.” 

“I thought the same thing about you.” Jason admitted as he ran his fingers lazily through her hair, before he briefly closed his eyes. “You’ve got balls of steel, Eva.” 

“So do you. I mean, how long have you been this vigilante?” She lifted her head and faced him, reaching up and cupping his cheek. “I’m guessing you were one of the Robins forever ago, hm?”

Jason opened his mouth to answer, only to pause. A part of him wanted to tell her everything, even his times under the influence of the Lazarus pits, but.. He just couldn’t, he hated to say it, but he didn’t fully thrust this woman with something that intimate. 

“I was the second Robin. I became Red Hood a while later.” Was all he said. 

“So, been there pretty much since the beginning, hm? Must have been a mess of a time.” Eva mused, but could barely get another word out, as he pulled her in for a soft kiss.

"Tomorrow.. You and me. We're going to have some fun. Eva.. I like you, you're a spunky lady, and I.. I want us to try being a bit more than just, well, flings." 

Eva stared into those impossibly blue eyes of his, speechless, before she allowed herself to blush vividly. 

"A- alright then. I think.. I'd actually like that." She admitted, leaning in for another kiss.

About an hour later, she found herself down in the kitchen, grabbing herself a snack and something to eat. She smiled at the sight of Marinette standing in the kitchen, sipping something warm from a steaming mug, Damian's tall, broad form next to her, his arms wrapped around her waist. The way he looked at her.. Eva felt her throat tighten slightly as she saw how they looked at each other. Like they knew that they were meant to be.

She wanted that. Stupidly, she wanted that with Jason. Sure, he'd said he'd wanted to try it, but he'd change his mind later, most men usually did. Besides, once he'd find out the truth, he'd run for the hills to get away from her.

David's face flashed in her eyes and she shut her eyes tightly, taking a deep, shaky breath before finally heading into the kitchen with a bright smile.

"Aren’t you all supposed to be asleep?” Eva attempted her best carefree voice, pulling her robe tighter around herself and giggling when she saw how Marinette and Damian jumped upon her interruption. 

“Though, I suppose I should be too.”

“Kinda hard to sleep with hearing a headboard slamming repetitively on the wall.”  Tim shot Eva a glare, but Eva merely smiled back. She held his gaze, taking in his handsome face, yet the dark shadows under his eyes. Carefully, she swayed her hips as seductively as she could, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Well, Tim, if you ever wanna join in, I’m more than open to it.” She purred out, giving a flutter of his lashes. She felt her revenge was complete once his face went absolutely crimson. Without giving him another glance, she turned towards Marinette, who was still sipping from the mug. “Hey, sugar cookie, you okay?”

And at the haunted look in Marinette's eyes, Eva knew whatever words she was going to speak next were going to be lies.

…

As soon as Eva got back to the room,she found Jason still awake, still reading the book. Her lips quirked as she made her way over to him.

"I kind of seduced your brother." She spoke up, drawing his attention as she made her way towards the bed. "He was complaining about the noise."

"Tim always has something to complain about, don't worry about it. And I wish I could've been there to see his face."

“He went cherry red. Think he’d take me up on the offered threesome?” She stuck her tongue out at him when he gave her a look. 

“He’d have to be crazy not to take a chance with you.” 

A knock at the door stopped whatever Eva was about to say. She went quiet as she stood and slowly opened the door. There stood a red faced Tim.

Without saying a word, Eva grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pulled him inside. Soon his clothes joined hers on the floor. 

Taglist: 

@the-navistar-carol @chocolate1721 @emo-elaine13 @mochinek0 @drarryismylife101 @toodaloo-kangaroo

@moonlightstar64 @imtryingsstuff @shamefullove

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 43

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Enjoy this fluff because next chapter is when shit goes down :)

Chapter 42 | Chapter 44 | AO3 link

[7:02 pm] Luka <3

Adrien: so

Adrien: mari and kagami are on their date

Adrien: wanna chat?

Luka: that better not have been a pun

Adrien: :)

Adrien: no but srsly

Adrien: i’m gonna do it

Luka: ???

Adrien: i’m gonna come out

Adrien: and my dad can suck it

Luka: not sure whether i like being a reason for you to stick it to him

Adrien: nah you’re not

Adrien: more like a convenient excuse

Adrien: but like

Adrien: fuck if i gotta be the agreste poster boy then let me be out

Luka: for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you

Adrien: aww you know how to make a cat blush

Luka: you’re going to have so many people looking up to you

Luka: speaking from experience

Adrien: if i gotta be a role model then at least it’s for this

Luka: are you going to talk to marinette and kagami about it first?

Adrien: ofc

Adrien: just let them enjoy their date first lol

Adrien: wonder how they’re going

Luka: well, we haven’t seen any akumas yet, so i’m assuming it’s going well

Adrien: lmao

Adrien: so like uh

Adrien: wanna help me figure out wtf to say in the vid?

Luka: it’d be my pleasure

.

“Nathalie?” Adrien says at dinner two nights later. “Could I speak to Father for five minutes?”

“He’s very busy,” Nathalie says automatically. “If you have a message for him –”

“I know he’s too busy to see me most days. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

Nathalie raises an eyebrow. “Just how important can it be that you would disturb him?”

With a sigh, Adrien beckons her over, then unlocks his phone and taps into the video he’d sweated over all afternoon thanks to his last-minute Chinese cancellation. “I’m going to go ahead and say something no matter what,” he says. “But I want to make sure that it’s not going to “besmirch” the Agreste name or whatever Father says. I promised him I wouldn’t do that if I got to be with Marinette.”

After Adrien presses play, his face appears on the small phone screen, grinning rather nervously.

“Hey, everyone,” video Adrien says, scratching the back of his neck. “So, you’ve all been really great about my relationship with Marinette, and I couldn’t be more thankful. She’s just…amazing. The light of my life. But there’s something else that’s been going on behind the scenes, and I wanted to be honest and upfront with you guys. You all deserve that much.

“I’m just gonna come right out and say this first part. I’m…bi. Bisexual. As in, I don’t just like girls. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for months now, and my amazing princess has been my anchor while I’ve been figuring it out. She’s bi too, you know? And yes, she told me to say that, otherwise I wouldn’t breathe a word.

“A lot of people seem to think that being bi makes you, uh…promiscuous. That you want to jump every person you see. And that couldn’t be further from the truth. If a straight guy can be attracted to other girls and still choose his girlfriend, I can be attracted to other people and still be faithful to my Marinette. Attraction, not actions – and yes, I did come up with that, so feel free to use it.” Video Adrien shoots a finger-gun at the camera.

“But there’s another aspect of both me and Marinette that we’ve spent months wrestling over, and I like to think that us being so open about it with each other is what made our relationship so strong. We’re both polyamorous. We both love more than one person and want to be with that boy and girl, and we do plan on taking a group pic and being totally open about it with you guys to avoid any rumours, although we do ask that you respect our privacy and don’t bombard us with negativity or requests to “join” us.

“And I just wanna be clear: I’m not bi because I’m polyam, and I’m not polyam because I’m bi. You know, the whole promiscuous bi stereotype I mentioned before. Being polyam doesn’t mean I’m open to every single person who asks me out. It just means that having a relationship with multiple people who I’m attracted to feels…right. You know, how most people might be attracted to someone else but feel wrong if they choose to date that person as well as their partner. It’s the opposite for me and Marinette. We’ve both got so much love to give and we don’t feel right being constrained by this expectation that we can only date each other. There’s nothing wrong with monogamy or polyamory, and we’re just asking people to be respectful of us.

“So, um…yeah. That’s it. Thanks for listening, guys. And thanks for being respectful. I figured that if I could help just one person by coming out, this would be worth it, because I know I would’ve killed for someone to look up to and help me figure myself out. Uh, bye!”

The video ends with another finger-gun. Adrien swallows and tries not to shift in his seat as Nathalie regards him silently with her usual impassive face. It’s always impossible to read just what his father’s assistant is thinking, even after years of knowing her.

“I see no problem with the video,” Nathalie finally says. “But I’d refrain from posting it until I show your father and get his approval. Just send it to me and I’ll show him.”

“Right – thanks, Nathalie!”

Surprisingly, Adrien’s father must be in a good mood today, because Nathalie returns to summon Adrien as soon as he’s finished eating. There’s a knot in Adrien’s stomach as he knocks on the door of Gabriel’s atelier and pushes it open as soon as he’s instructed to do so, and he can only pray that he doesn’t throw up right in front of Gabriel, because that’s possibly the fastest way to shoot himself in the foot right now.

“So…” Adrien says. Gabriel holds a hand up, his cold grey eyes piercing Adrien’s very core, unsettling Adrien’s soul and leaving him to direct his willpower into not fidgeting with his ring.

“That was quite the interesting video that Nathalie showed me,” Gabriel finally says. Adrien swallows and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“Y-Yeah…”

“I can’t help but feel that it’s a little…greedy of you, Adrien. You have Miss Dupain-Cheng, after all.”

Adrien’s fingers twitch with the effort it takes to not clench them into fists. “I’m not greedy for liking more than one person, Father,” he says as evenly as he can manage.

“Well, if Miss Dupain-Cheng has this many…ah, shortcomings –”

“What? You think I want to be with Luka and Kagami as well to – to make up for Marinette’s flaws?” Now Adrien does clench his fists, and he’s pretty sure his set jaw is visibly rigid. “That’s not how polyamory works, Father. I’ve done my research! You think this is something I’d just jump into –”

“Watch your tone,” Gabriel says sharply. “Perhaps your girlfriend has been a negative influence after all. I may have to –”

“No,” Adrien hisses. Gabriel’s eyebrows fly to his hairline.

“No?” he repeats, as though it’s a word he’s never heard in his life. Adrien’s heart starts to race.

“I said no. You’re not taking Marinette away from me, Father. You’re not taking…the best thing that’s happened to me. And you’re not taking the others either. I didn’t come to ask for your permission. I came to compromise with you and let you approve of what I say in the video.”

“I’m not sure I like your attitude, young man. In fact, allowing you to attend school in the first place may have been my biggest error.”

Adrien can’t stop his jaw from dropping. What. The. Hell. Is Gabriel really that much of a control freak that he’d wish that Adrien had never found happiness just to maintain a modicum of control?

“You can withdraw me from school, but you can’t stop me from seeing my friends, Father,” Adrien snaps. His head’s spinning ever so slightly, and there’s a growl starting to rumble in his chest, and is he Adrien right now or Chat Noir? Adrien. He’s Adrien. Otherwise, Gabriel wouldn’t be looking at him like…that. “I’ll sneak out. I’ll always find a way to sneak out. I do fencing and Chinese and modelling to make you happy, because it’s a fair trade for letting me have a life with normal friends and normal school. But if you take away what makes me happy, I’ll take away any bit of control you have over me.”

“You are a child! You do whatever I say! I am your father!” Gabriel slams his palm on his desk. Adrien reflexively flinches, but then a tiny paw is digging into his ribs from inside his shirt, and it’s just grounding enough to stop him from babbling apologies and fleeing the room. He can do this. He can stand his ground. For Marinette and Luka and Kagami. For himself. All that’s necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing…even if he's about two seconds from falling to the floor unable to breathe in sheer panic.

“You’d really prefer that your own son has no happiness in his life just so you can keep controlling him like a puppet?” he says breathlessly. Gabriel visibly reacts, reeling back as though he’d been slapped, and he looks like he’s going to say something for a moment before looking down at his desk and shaking his head.

“Everything I’ve done has been for you, Adrien Agreste,” Gabriel says, his hand rising to clutch at his tie for a split second. His voice is so soft that it’s barely audible, so Adrien can’t quite make out whether there’s any danger in it. “All I’ve ever wanted is to keep you safe. To not lose you like I lost…”

Adrien’s shoulders slump. “You can’t shelter me forever, Father,” he says, forcing himself to imagine Marinette and Kagami and Luka’s voices alternating counting his breaths so that he doesn’t pass out. “I’ll be an adult in a few years and then I can leave, and I’ve still got no idea how to function like a normal person. Normal people don’t have my life. They’re not world-famous and modelling and studying Mandarin and fencing. And if you had your way…I’d never leave. I’d never have any idea how to leave. And I’d…I’d resent you for it.”

Gabriel is silent for such a long time that Adrien absently wonders if he’ll pass out anyway before his father speaks again, because the room is suddenly claustrophobic and hot and closing in on him, despite his controlled breathing.

“I see,” Gabriel eventually says. “If that’s how you really feel…”

Adrien braces himself for the inevitable crackdown for daring to speak his mind.

“…then I will allow you to also date this boy and girl,” Gabriel finishes. Adrien blinks, then blinks again to make sure that he’d heard right, because what? “So long as all of you behave properly and do not besmirch the Agreste name. The same conditions from when I allowed you to date Miss Dupain-Cheng still apply.”

“R-Really?” is all Adrien can say. Gabriel nods.

“I’ll also lessen your obligations on one weekday and one weekend day so that you may spend proper time with your partners,” he says. “In return, you will fully apply yourself to your studies and your extracurricular activities. You will not complain when I ask you to do something. You will let me know when you are going out and where you will be going. If your grades slip or your activities suffer, I will rescind my permission. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes!” Adrien blurts out, not even caring that he’s effectively agreeing to sit down and do as he’s told, because this is the most freedom he’s ever been given by his father! “Yes – thank you, Father! Thank you so much!”

For a nanosecond, there’s a ghost of a smile on Gabriel’s face. But it’s gone so fast that Adrien’s left wondering if his brain is playing tricks on him.

“I must admit, I may have become a little…overprotective after I was akumatised,” Gabriel says. “But unfortunately, you are right. I can’t shelter you forever. Before you go, tell me the people in whom you and Miss Dupain-Cheng are both interested.”

“The girl is Kagami,” Adrien says. “Ms Tsurugi knows. Marinette met her the other day. And the boy…his name’s Luka. Luka Couffaine. He’s…amazing, Father. He’s just as amazing as Marinette and Kagami, but in a totally different way.”

“Hmm.” Gabriel pulls his tablet back towards him. “Goodnight, Adrien.”

“Goodnight, Father,” Adrien replies, recognising a clear dismissal when he sees one. Well, now it’s time to head back to his room, scream into his pillow for a good minute, throw said pillow at Plagg when the little shit makes fun of him, then call Marinette and Luka and Kagami to yell at them for good measure.

.

“I have prior obligations,” Kagami sighs over FaceTime while Adrien and Luka are waiting for Marinette to finish getting ready for their date. “And besides, I had a date with Marinette last night. It’s fair that you both have one without me.”

“Kagami, we’re a quad,” Adrien says. “Why would we have weird arbitrary rules like that? I know we agreed to have different dates but not like that.”

“Exactly,” says a voice from behind Adrien. When he turns and is greeted by the sight of Marinette in a floaty blue sundress with her hair in a loose bun, his brain immediately short-circuits and all he can do is make garbled sounds that in no way resemble words in any language on Earth. A quick glance next to him informs him that Luka is in very much the same state.

“Nice work, Marinette,” Kagami says with twitching lips. “You broke them.”

“Oh, just you wait,” Marinette grins. “Next time, I’ll break you too. Wait, don’t distract me when I’m scolding you! No one’s more important than anyone else in this, Kagami. I told you that the other night.”

“We’re all in this together,” Adrien sings while his brain reboots. Marinette and Luka groan.

“I don’t understand,” Kagami says.

“If you reference that again, you won’t get any cuddles for a week,” Marinette says.

“I’ll put on my kitten eyes,” Adrien shoots back.

“What, the ones that make you look like a constipated whale?” Plagg says from inside Marinette’s purse, where he’s taken to hanging out with Tikki whenever Marinette and Adrien are in the same place. That one makes Marinette, Luka, and Kagami burst out laughing, while Adrien scowls at Marinette’s purse and Tikki can be heard scolding Plagg.

“Thank you for helping to soothe my irrationality,” Kagami says once the laughter’s died down. “I appreciate all of you. But I wasn’t lying when I said that I had prior obligations. Mother wants to test my fencing skills, to see how I’m progressing.”

“Ew.” Marinette wrinkles her nose. “Have fun. We’ll think of you while we’re drinking ice cold lemonade.”

“Thanks,” Kagami deadpans. Then she looks over her shoulder. “I have to go. Enjoy your date and tell me everything about it tonight.”

“Bye, Kagami!” the other three chorus before Kagami’s face disappears from Adrien’s phone screen.

“C’mon, let’s hurry up and get to the park!” Adrien whines, jumping up and tugging on Luka’s arm. “Then I can get sandwiched between two pretty people on a picnic blanket!”

“Really?” Marinette says. “You’re going to make a bread pun?”

“Hey, when the opportunity rises.”

“And just who says you’ll be the one in the middle?” Luka teases. Butterflies erupt in Adrien’s stomach when Luka slings an arm around him, then reaches out to ensnare a pink-faced Marinette and draw her to his other side. “I’m the tallest.”

“But I’m a cat,” Adrien argues. “You’re supposed to use me as a pillow.”

“Oh my god,” Marinette mutters. Luka grins and then, rather than arguing back, he simply dips his head and captures Adrien’s mouth in a sweet little kiss, and Adrien’s brain promptly liquefies and starts to trickle out of his ears.

“You were saying?” Luka says.

“I – no – must – stay strong,” Adrien babbles.

“I’ll be in the freaking middle!” Marinette says. “I’m the girl and the team leader, so there!”

“Ah, but we’re partners, bugaboo,” Adrien manages to fire back.

“And I’m not even part of the team,” Luka adds with a smirk. Marinette rolls her eyes.

“I’ll lie across both of you and you can cuddle each other!” she says, throwing her hands into the air. “How’s that?”

Adrien and Luka exchange grins. “Fine with us,” they chorus. Marinette sighs.

“What did I get myself into?” she says.

[breeeliss]

[Miraculous Ladybug]: Dressed to Kill

i….am procrastinating this paper super hard….so i started a one-shot series. isn’t that fun?

bit of a T rating, but if you don’t mind that, enjoy :)

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Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

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Title: Dressed to Kill

Summary: “You got a fucking manicure before a job?”

Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”

Chlonette Assassins AU

1. Flirting on the Job

“You got a fucking manicure before a job?”

Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”

Marinette rolled her eyes and peeked around the corner, staring at the two guards stationed at the door at the other end of the courtyard. She finished screwing her suppressor onto her own gun and checked her pockets for her compression gloves. “So if some asshole has me in a chokehold, you’re not going to punch him in the face because you have to protect your goddamn gel manicure?”

“I never said that,” Chloe groaned. “Obviously I’d clock him straight in the nose, but I will expect you to pay for my replacement manicure since you shouldn’t be getting yourself into that situation in the first place.”

“Oh nice.”

“I’m a single woman, I deserve to pamper myself, sue me.”

Marinette fastened the velcro of her gloves and counted the knives she had strapped to her thigh. “That’s your own fault. I offered to sleep with you literally last week and you said no.” She checked her watch. “Shifts change in 3 minutes.”

“Roger,” Chloe replied automatically. “Also, fuck you, you told me you’d sleep with me because, and I quote, you found my dry spell ‘cripplingly pathetic.’”

“I mean, it is. Offer still stands,” Marinette winked. 

“Please, if anyone’s going to be doing the fucking, it’s going to be me,” Chloe snarled. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, tapped around her apps, and brought up full schematics of the building they were about to sneak into. “Alya just sent us a map. Adrien says lights out in 30.”

“Perfect.” Marinette readjusted the duffle bag on her back. “Any place that’ll give me a clean shot?”

“Probably the trophy room” Chloe said. “We might have to clear out the third floor though. I’ll do it. Give you time to set up the sniper and should still leave us a 5 minute leeway until the target comes into range.”

Marinette nodded. Clean and simple job, just how she liked it. “Alright. Moving in 2. Also, you’re the pillow queen to end all pillow queens. I think we know which one would do the fucking.”

“Um, I’m an amazing lesbian,” Chloe insisted. “Half the reason my arms are toned is because I do my fair share of the work.”

“You get frequent manicures and grow out your nails. How is that being an amazing lesbian?”

“I’m sorry that you’re so low maintenance that you have to depend on your fingers. Some of us have an arsenal of other devices that can happily do the work and then some.”

Marinette nodded. “Ah, strap-on queen. Sexy.”

“Marinette, shut the fuck up.”

“Oh come on,” she laughed. “Since when are you shy about talking about sex?”

“Since we’re on an assignment.”

“We have 90 seconds to kill.”

Chloe rolled her eyes but Marinette saw the smile at the corner of her lips. “I would only sleep with you if bought me dinner first. And you would have to swear allegiance to me, complement me at least four times a day, and worship my body at every available opportunity.”

Marinette snorted. “How about this? You do a good job for me? I’ll buy you dinner, a hotel room, your own bottle of wine, and an entire evening to do whatever you want with me.”

Chloe lifted a brow and whistled. “Damn. Are you hitting a dry spell?”

“I’m forced to look at a hot dumb blonde all day,” Marinette said with a deadpanned stare. “What did you expect?”

“You’re such a bitch.” She jutted her chin towards the two guards who were laughing and heading back inside the building to take a break from their shift. They had a 5 minute window. “Ready when you are.”

Their assignment today wasn’t a huge deal. Alya got them a layout of the mansion, Adrien was probably sneaking out right about now after having knocked out the security system, and Chloe and Marinette were left to do the rest. 

The CEO who lived here was apparently in the center of a huge embezzling scheme. Plan was to wipe out and secure the third floor and give Marinette a base to snipe down their target and all of his affiliates as they drove up the road and came back to the mansion at exactly 8:00pm for dinner according to Alya’s information. Ideally, it would give Chloe just enough time to break into the target’s study, wipe his computer clean of information, and hopefully give them more info on who else was involved in this nonsense. Then, it was just a matter of getting back to Adrien and his getaway car. 

Hopefully this would be done in an hour. Marinette hated working weekends. 

They both slipped in through the front doors after the stationed guards left, scanned the main room for any guards, and quickly sped up the stairs, staying low and keeping their hands on their guns. Marinette was in charge of memorizing the guard schedules, and this was around the time when everyone was switching around. Shitty security, since that meant that Chloe and Marinette had an easy time of avoiding them all while they meandered to their next posts. Marinette only had to knock out two guards on their way to the third floor. 

Eight guards. Yeah. Not subtle at all. 

“Yeah, this guy’s study is definitely on this floor,” Marinette muttered as they crouched on the other side of the door that was slightly ajar and leading to southern portion of the third floor hallway. “Two birds with one stone I guess.”

“Idiot,” Chloe snorted. She pulled out her pistol in one hand and hunting knife in the other. “Alright, you want me to be practical about this or sexy about this?”

Marinette raised an amused brow. “What’s the difference?”

Chloe shrugged. “Practical is I just scope them from here in like four seconds and call it a day. Sexy is I do the job and give you a show at the same time.”

Marinette laughed. “Careful, your crush on me is showing.”

“Please. I still haven’t said yes to your little sex date.”

“You also haven’t said no,” Marinette teased. “I’ll take the sexy option while you’re offering.”

Chloe tapped the tip of her knife to her nose. “Keep your eyes on my ass, it looks fantastic today.”

Marinette gave her a mock salute. “Yes, mademoiselle.” 

When they first joined the agency, Chloe was super pissed that Marinette was essentially able to kick her ass every time she popped into the gym and tried sparring with her. Marinette kept explaining it was because she had four years of mixed martial arts training under her belt, so Chloe repeatedly being knocked on her ass was nothing to be ashamed of (insert condescending wink here). So of course the petty little thing went and signed up for Taekwondo classes and turned into a badass in the span of two years. And because Chloe was an insufferable narcissist, she liked to show it off at every available opportunity. 

Though, Marinette had to admit, watching Chloe take down eight guards with nothing but a knife and some brutal double roundhouse kicks was pretty hot. 

Chloe slammed a guard’s head against the wall and pulled her knife out of the muscle of his upper arm, leaving him in a crumpled, motionless heap. She wiped off the blade with the edge of her shirt and stuck her tongue out at Marinette. “Scale of one to ten.”

“Solid seven. I kinda wish I had a better view of your boobs.”

Chloe huffed. “Well shit I’ll pop my chest out the next time I’m literally kicking some dude’s ass.”

Marinette walked by the bodies of the guards and planted a quick kiss on Chloe’s cheek. “Thanks for cleaning up the place.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me!

“Please flattery got me everywhere with you.”

“Go set up your stupid gun!”

Marinette cackled and pulled a lock picking kit out of her pocket while Chloe pulled a door jammer and a CinchLock out from her own duffle bag and quickly barricaded the door to the main hallway. For good measure, she dragged an armoire and a desk in front of the door to further deter anyone from coming in. 

Marinette kneeled in front of the trophy room and started fiddling with the lock. “Don’t you remember that time I took you out to that club last month?”

Chloe’s cheeks went red as she started picking the lock to one of the other rooms in the hallway. “Shut up…”

“Hands down the best night I’ve had all month,” Marinette exclaimed. “You dragged me off to the couches, sat in my lap, started making out with me, and stuck your hand down the front of my pants. I mean, I get we were a little drunk but Lord.”

“I was thirsty, okay?” Chloe popped her door open first and sucked her teeth when it was revealed to just be a guest room. She switched to the door perpendicular to Marinette’s. “And you looked amazing that night. I’m not an idiot.”

“I believe I told you that your dress made you look like a fucking goddess,” Marinette smirked. “And then you sort of blinked at me, didn’t say anything, and pulled me off to the side. Flattery will get me nowhere my ass.” Marinette pushed her door open and found the trophy room that perfectly overlooked the road wrapping up the hill that led to the mansion. She yanked her duffle bag off her shoulder, kneeled by the window, and unzipped her bag.

“You think yourself so irresistible don’t you?”

Marinette started setting up the scope to her gun. “Pretty much.”

Chloe finished picking the lock to the door and cheered. “Got the fucker’s computer!! And just you wait, tonight I’ll rock your goddamn world. Then we’ll see who finds who irresistible.”

“Is that a yes to the sex date then?”

“What the hell. I could use an orgasm or four. That dinner better be spectacular though. I’m a wine and dine kind of gal.”

“Give me some credit, will you? I’m a romantic at heart.”

Marinette quickly started to set her rifle up by the window while Chloe plugged in her ear piece and had Alya talk her through how to sweep their target’s computer for anything useful. They’d wasted a bit of time fooling around in the hallway so the target and the rest of his dinner guests started rolling up along the long road quicker than Marinette had anticipated. She clicked her tongue against her teeth, peered through the scope, and started loading up bullets. “They’re coming up the hill.”

“Seriously?” Chloe groaned. She muttered something to Alya before going back to tapping away at the keyboard. “I’ll try to hurry up but no promises.”

“No need,” Marinette breathed out. “I got it.”

“Make those shots count, darling.”

Marinette snorted. “Don’t I always?” She was the best markswoman in their entire agency. If there was ever an assignment that needed a sharpshooter, Marinette was always the first on the ticket. 

She gently laid her finger on the trigger and lined up her scope so that it was pointed right in the middle of the windshield of the first car coming up the hill. She could just barely see a man that more or less matched the description of their target through the glass and lined the scope up to the center of his forehead. The moment she made this shot there was going to be a rain of bullets heading straight for her, so she needed to make this quick without being sloppy. She waited until the car stopped winding around the turn and started driving straight before she pressed down on the trigger. 

The bullet smashed through the windshield and the car immediately jolted to a screeching halt. Marinette smirked when she saw that she successfully made the shot. The driver tumbled out of the car and was already pulling a gun out of his back pocket to aim for the mansion, the only other place where a shooter could possibly be holed up. Marinette didn’t even blink before she moved her gun and made quick work of him as well. 

The other cars started coming up the hill and Marinette quickly started to recount her bullets. 3 left in the rifle. 5 on the buttstock. 10 more on the improvised shell holder she had on her left sleeve. She’d be fine so long as she didn’t miss too many shots. The next car came around the bend and she landed another bullet straight into the forehead of the other passenger. But this time, other cars behind that one were stopping and their passengers were ducking behind their car doors to create cover. Marinette waited for one of them to peek out above the car door to take a shot at her before getting them in the side of the neck. 

“Chloe!!” Marinette shouted over her own gunfire. “How are we looking?”

“Bullshit password protection and shitty encryptions. Got his emails, contacts, and business files. Sending them to Fu and waiting for him to okay it.”

“Okay,” Marinette gritted out, cursing as she missed a shot. She quickly reloaded the rifle. “No pressure. Take your time.”

“Feeling the heat, babe?”

“No, I’m doing fantastic!” A stray bullet hit the side of the window and made Marinette flinch as one of her shots went a little too wide and hit someone in the shoulder. 

Honestly. This was supposed to be her day off. She really needed to talk to Master Fu about getting other snipers to take these shitty weekend assignments. Surely seniority counted for something. 

Marinette eventually got whittled down to her last five bullets with only two more men hiding in the trees and bushes along the side of the house. She managed to get one of them in the right eye before she heard someone banging on the barricaded door at the end of the hallway. The other guards in the house already knew that they were in here. They needed to get out quick. Marinette tracked her last target who was making sure to keep low in the bushes and make shots through the trees to keep his cover. “Chloe, talk to me.”

“Fu’s got enough. I’m wiping my tracks and we’re good to go. How are you doing?”

“One more.” She heard the banging happening at the other side of the barricade becoming more insistent. Marinette rolled her eyes, stared at her last three bullets, and decided to screw it and take a chance. She purposefully aimed one of her bullets at the ground next to the bush that the last shooter was hiding behind and smiled victoriously when he dove away from his hiding spot to avoid the shot. She quickly landed her second to last bullet through his temple and immediatley started dismounting her rifle from the window. 

“How are we getting out, Chlo!?” Marinette shouted. 

“Uhhh…” Chloe hesitated, zooming in on the maps that Alya sent over. “There’s a blind spot on the west wall. Adrien says if we scale down and go straight through the trees, we’ll get to his car.”

Marinette finished packing up her rifle, kept a hand on her pistol, and darted from the room. “Told you not to get a manicure today. Your ass is gonna break a nail climbing down the side of the wall.”

“Don’t remind me.”

They snuck into the guest room that Chloe had previously opened, climbed out the window, and breathed out sighs of relief when they saw that there weren’t any guards on this side of the mansion yet. They used the gutter pipe to get down to the ground and immediately ran through the trees. Marinette could hear shouting and gunfire behind her, but she focused on keeping her head down and creating as much distance between them and the mansion as possible. 

Sure enough, they stumbled out onto a road and saw an inconspicuous black car with fake license plates parked just behind the line of trees. The back doors were already opened for them and Chloe and Marinette quickly dove into the backseats and shut the doors behind them. Adrien was already at the wheel, slamming his foot down on the pedal, and peeling onto the road and back down the hill. 

Chloe pulled out her pistol and kept it pointed out the back window in case anyone started following them. Marinette caught the phone that Adrien threw her from the front seat and pulled it to her ear. “Yes?”

“The information was received. I assume everything went smoothly?”

Fu. Marinette chuckled and wiped her forehead. “More or less. We were extracted successfully. Heading back to base now.”

“Be ready to give a full report upon your return. Excellent work, Ladybug.”

Marinette smirked, hung up the phone, and threw it on the seat next to her. She shoved an elbow into Chloe’s side. “Good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” Chloe sighed and slid back down on the seat next to Marinette, leaning her head on her shoulder. “God, why did our extraction point have to be at the other end of the fucking woods?”

“It was as close to you two as I could get,” Adrien apologized. “Besides. A good run never hurt anyone. Least of all you.”

“Leave me alone,” she muttered. Chloe held up her index finger and showed Marinette the nail that had snapped all the way down to the base. “Do you see this? Do you see? Broken nail.”

“I told you not to get a manicure!” Marinette repeated. “Besides, you’re a tenth of the way prepared for tonight anyway, so you might as well even yourself out.”

Adrien cackled. “Oh my God, wait, are you guys hooking up again?”

Chloe scowled. “What’s it to you?”

“If you say yes, Nino owes me like two hundred euros.”

Chloe screamed in outrage. “I thought you were joking about those betting pools!”

“Nu-uh,” Adrien said. “Your weird flirty, banter-y, rival, sexual tension thing is hilarious. You’re like Miraculous’s main source of entertainment.”

“Oh, gee, thanks.”

“Don’t worry Adrien,” Marinette smiled sweetly. “She will be thoroughly ravished before the evening is over. I promise.”

“Oh good. Maybe she’ll be in a pleasant mood in the morning.”

“One can only hope.”

“You two are fucking terrible and you’re both paying for my new manicure.”