#McDonald’s! husk

[deadghosy]

[hazbin-college]

Husk and Angel bar talk

Angel easily slipped into one of the stools at the bar, stretching his back out before slouching forward a bit. It was late and the bar was close to closing, but that was his favorite time to come. It was mostly empty and he got to talk to his favorite bar tender. Not that he’d ever say that out loud

And if right on cue Husk sauntered over to the side of the bar he was on, setting a glass down for him preemptively

“The usual?” He asked, his voice rough as ever, like he didn’t use it enough

“Nah, gimme something stronger” Angel shook his head, placing an elbow on the counter and resting his chin in his palm. It was a get sloshed kind of night, maybe he could go party with Cherri after, she was always down for doing shit

“Tough day?” Husk broke him out of his thoughts, mixing together a drink of unknown alcohols

“Don’t get me started” Angel huffed, putting a hand up “might as well just shoot me now. That’s my day” he gave a roll of his eyes, before settling them back on the bar tender

“Hm. Drinking might not be the way to fix it” he chided, sliding the drink across the counter, Angel easily snatching it up after

His eyebrows rose at the taste “woah this is good. What’s in it?”

“Secret mix, but it’s got enough alcohol in it to get you where you want” Husk answered, giving a slight amused smile, before it fell back into his usual frown. He doesn’t see him smile much

“As long as it’s strong I’m happy with it” he hummed, sipping at his drink, tapping his free hand on the counter.

After a few more minutes of drinking he could definitely feel the alcohol starting to fuzz out the edges of his mind, giving him a comfortable buzz

“You know Val started this whole like. Open relationship bullshit. Like, I’m all about being with whoever you want. But like he coulda at least talked about it a bit more first” Angel spoke, his nose scrunching a bit. He’s not sure when he started talking about his boyfriend. He’s definitely brought him up to Husk before. And the alcohol in his system got rid of any guilt he felt for complaining about his partner

“Sounds like a real piece of work” Husk offered half heartedly, only seeming to be partially paying attention

“I swear he’s always either doing his OnlyFans shit or playing dumb games with his roommates. Like don’t get me wrong, they’re fine. But could you possibly spend any more time with the same two people?” He slumped forward, taking another too big gulp of his drink, stinging his throat due to the size “and he’s always asking me to participate in his videos. Like maybe I just came over to cuddle or something, ever thought of that dickhead?” He enjoyed his relationship. It was just a lot of one sided work sometimes

Husk turned from what he was doing, focusing back on Angel “look, I don’t know your relationship, obviously” he started, tossing a hand up vaguely “but sounds to me like you aren’t liking this relationship. Maybe give it some thought that this guy isn’t your guy” he raised his eyebrows slightly, leveling a look towards Angel, trying to get his words to stick.

They only sort of did, Angel having gotten slightly distracted in his half drunk state. But enough of the words did seem to register “what? No, I’m not looking to dump Val. Yeah I like to bitch about him, but that’s all relationships” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand “he loves me, he just gets busy with all his, uh, stuff” he had a tough time thinking of all the things that kept Val busy. Why was he always away? He was always a touch disappointed when time wasn’t made for him.

“Not my place to say otherwise” Husk shrugged, he wasn’t here to give advice, just serve drinks “the bar closes in ten, though. Better get yourself situated”

Angel frowned a little at the reminder of the time. Had it really been that long already? He was having a nice time hanging out with Husk.

Maybe it was the alcohol urging him to stick around the other longer, something in him wanted to be around the shorter man. He wasn’t a stranger to hitting on people, far from it. But that didn’t feel like what he wanted to do. Something else was nagging at him.

“Hey, you doing anything after your shift ends?” He asked seemingly out of nowhere. Cringing a bit at the way an awkwardness seemed to leak off him. He wasn’t ever nervous asking people out. Romantic or not. He must just be off his game tonight.

Husk rose an eyebrow at him, seeming to study Angel for a moment before turning away to put a glass up. Not answering for a few more moments.

“I’m not doing anything” he finally answered, turning back towards the blonde “got something planned?”

Angel couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face “I got so much I could have planned, baby” he purred, easily slipping back into his usual flirty persona.

Husk leveled him an unimpressed stare “thats not who I’m agreeing to go out with. So you better drop the sweet talk” his warning wasn’t harsh, just honest. It was like a cold splash of water over his head. And he gave a looser smile

“Alright, maybe we could grab a bite somewhere?” He tried instead, dropping the mask he usually kept in place for social outings. Tonight he’d just be him

[capiris456]

Hazbin Hotel High School (comic dub)

[astralbondpro]

The Kids in the Hall // S04E04: Mr. Wrong

[strangeandun-muse-ual]

I didn't even read the full post, I just saw "What's their McDonald's order" and decided that's the most interesting muse question I've ever seen, so gimme that one for every muse on the roster.

I lost the meme this was attached to ope lol || Not accepting

Thanks to @e-m-p-error responding to this same ask I'm kind of leaning towards "one large Powerade with no ice and all the McGriddles you can fit in a bag." It is, he will insist, The Perfect Breakfast Sandwich.

Three Filet o Fish, a medium fry, and a frozen Coke

One (1) black coffee

His canonical favorite food is pancakes, but I feel like he'd not be a fan of the pancake breakfast thing at McDonalds. I think he'd probably take after Vox and go for a McGriddle (just the one) and maybe a hashbrown, but he's mostly going to get a happy meal for 5.0.5.

Quarter pounder with cheese and an apple pie

There is no way Giovanni Potage isn't getting Chicken Nuggies. He gets a bunch of orders of them and four large fries and splits them with his Boys.

[jeonqbunny]

A FIC BASED ON AGORA HILLS BY DOJA CAT WITH TOJI. A READER WHO MAKES OUT WITH HIM IN PUBLIC A LOT IN HOPES THEY GET LOOKS. A READER WHI WEARS REVEALING THINGS SO THE MARKS TOJI GAVE HER AND THE NECKLACE WITH HIS NAME ON IT IS SHOW. READER WHO LOVES QUICKIES IN PUBLIC PLACES. TOJI INLOVE WITH IT AND CONSTANTLY TEASING HER ABT IT. I ALSO READ UR LEAVIN THE DOOR OPEN FIC SND ITS AMAZINF!!!!

ur literally sooo sweet ♡ thank you so much for supporting my work! here you go, big pda warning! MWAH

i wanna show you off ♡

toji x f!reader smut

summary: toji finally accepts your love for exhibitionism and takes a risk when you two go out for a lil brunch date.

content warning: exhibitionism, public sex, fingering, slight degrading, edging, uses of petnames (doll, little girl, sweetie, princess)

word count: 1k

your love for PDA was no secret between you and toji. he’s never really been one to allow his ladies to show off too much, the greedy part of him wanting his eyes and his eyes alone to be able to swallow you whole. but when you walk out in a skimpy outfit that displays the beautiful marks he left on your skin the night before, his mind immediately changes.

it’s foreign to him, but something about the way you carry yourself with pride despite all of the bites and bruises he left on your body turned him on to the max. he’ll settle for walking about in public with your small hand gently clasped in his, and if you’re teasing him enough with the amount of cleavage you’re showing off, he’ll even go as far as kissing you with tongue to remind you who you really belong to.

of course just making out with him wouldn’t satisfy him enough, it’s toji, after all. whether it be at a restaurant, a bar, a party, hell, even the local mcdonald’s, toji would fuck you. in the restaurant, it all starts with a simple brush of his fingers up your thigh, trailing up to the wet spot right in the center of your panties. he has to hold back a groan just from the feeling of how wet you already are, leaning in to whisper in your ear. “already so wet f’ me, and i ain’t even do anything but sit here.” he teases with a chuckle, his fingers rubbing small circles over your swollen nub through the now sopping wet fabric of your panties. 

when you bit your lip to hold back your moans, it didn’t take long for him to slide your panties to the side and run his thick digits through your slick folds and tease your entrance with one of his fingers. he swam in delight at the view of you trying to hold yourself together when the tip of his finger would push in and out of your little hole as his palm rubbed against your clit. he loved to tease you, feeling your cunt clench everytime his finger thrusted just the slightest bit deeper.

“my my, little girl. yer already acting cock drunk from my fingers, fuck you’re so naughty.” he husked out under his breath straight into your ear, his finger pushing in deeper to brush against your g-spot. he was never able to deny you for very long, you were his perfect little princess after all. he nibbled on your earlobe briefly, his tongue darting out of his mouth to lick at the sensitive skin behind your ear.

your thighs clenched together at the feeling, your eyes slamming such as your squirmed. your arousal leaked out of your needy cunt and onto the booth below you as your greedy pussy swallowed up his finger gratefully. you desperately bit back your moans the best you could before he added a second finger.

that’s when you really lost it, nestling your face into the crook of toji’s neck as your hips subtly bucked against his palm in a desperate struggle to feel more of him. he grunted, his fingers speeding up and ruthlessly banging against your g-spot at a toe curling pace. you squeaked into the skin of his neck, your slick now completely soaking the skin of his palm and your inner thighs. there was a loud squelch with every thrust of his fingers, causing your cheeks to heat up in embarrassment. but it only egged toji on.

“you hear that? you may be able to hold back your sounds, but your slutty pussy sure as hell can’t.” he cooed with a cocky smirk growing on his scarred lips. he felt your insides flutter and pulsate around his girthy fingers, and watched as your back arched against the seat of the booth. he guessed you were getting close, and he was right in that assumption. your eyes slammed shut, and your legs began to shake as your jaw fell slack. but suddenly, it all stopped and you felt your upcoming orgasm fade away.

you open your eyes to find your server standing in front of your table, your eyes darting up at toji who was smiling at them like absolutely nothing was wrong. you immediately feel a sense of panic rush through your veins, your gummy walks gripping toji’s fingers all the more tighter. “here’s your bill sir, i hope you enjoyed the service.” the waitress bows politely before quickly departing from the scene with a blush dusting their face. this immediately elicited a mischievous chuckle from toji, his fingers pressing into your g-spot one more time before pulling his fingers out from your sloppy heat.

you let out a whine, a small pout forming on your lips. you felt empty, and he knew just how much you hated to be edged like that. he looked down at you, eating you up with his emerald green eyes. he gripped your chin with his spare hand before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “why d’ya look so scared doll? aren’t cha the one who asked for stuff like this?” he queried mockingly, the grin on his face only widening as he saw how you pouted. 

“don’t tease me..” you muttered as you crossed your arms and shifted your body away from his. he only responded with a dramatic huff of air before popping his soaked fingers in his mouth shamelessly and lapping up your sweet arousal. your jaw dropped at the sight, laying a harsh smack to his huge bicep in an attempt to get him to stop, all to no avail.

he jokingly rubbed his arm, muttering a small ‘yeouch’ before he rolled his eyes and signed the receipt for the bill. he slid it to the middle of the table, pulling out a 5 and pinning it under a cup before turning back to you. “don’t worry sweetie, i’ll take care of ya properly when we get back to the car.”

[hazbinhotelexpansion]

Oh I was BORN to answer your request, prepare for all of my random discord quotes

Are you climbing the inside of the elevator??? ..........maybe

"I want them Zoloft boys"

"ok I think the phone has been in the microwave long enough"

She could run a kingdom, people would listen to her, she's very loud!

I'll sop your wet! ... I'll wet your sop? No, neither of those sound right, joke canceled, goodbye

You know me I love dead people

You want me to go straight to bed? Why not gay to bed???

"this tastes like battery acid, but if battery acid was tasty"

Gusty showers sounds like a terrible name for a retirement community

What happens if you have nipple pasties that just look like nipples? "Then you need nipple pasties for your nipple pasties" Nipple-pasty-ception "Get a bra that looks like boobs and put nipple pasties on that"

Yeah I'm like canonically allergic to chihuahuas in specific

"Jesus told a tree to off itself and then he threw a table"

"am I a Honda or a person?"

"NOW GIVE ME YOUR FACE AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS"

Gasp! Someone cheesed him!

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MY LITTLE BOY INTO LEMONADE

"using my telekinesis to lift my daughter out of her crib just in time for her father to see her levitating randomly"

"why are we talking about bacon now I thought we were talking about your daddy issues"

I do not have a gender, I have a question

oh pants stopped happening like 30 minutes ago

just calling me Charizard is unhelpful team

I AM THE PICASSO OF MEMES

Ope there goes angel climbing into the China closet again

EVIL JELLO MY NEW GENDER

"I have a *weird* problem, are you ready to hear about my *weird* problem" "always" "my brownies are too oily"

"Before I can own a pigeon, I need to get my bird permit" Your..... Birdmit

It doesn't have to be a bunch of sad white women drinking wine sitting in a rented conference room with a bunch of tables all done up in tablecloths with droopy streamers and half floating balloons

he can be a soft boi *and* a crackhead!!!

"they're Jean shoes" YOU GOT THE FUCKIN JHOES???

Please refrain from happy biting the cannibal

WOOHOO KEVIN GOT BOOPS

Two pigeons, chilling on the sidewalk, five feet apart cause they're not gay

"you're watching a weiner schnitzel be made? Isn't that a dog?"

"she wouldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo"

About husk: probably grumpy enough to overpower catnip by the sheer force of cynicism

About niffty being drunk: she's a spastic caffeinated squirrel in traffic that's just taken a nice long inhale of, uh, snow

no actually I think you're right! I like my impulsive, self destructive behaviors

don't turn yourself into one of those cooked children in the backseat you're always hearing about, Pls don't cook yourself over your trauma

YEAH WE HAVE CHILD LABOR ON THIS BUS!

Mickey mouse voice: you can't spell drunk driving without U and I!

He has the mcdonald's headset of infinite wisdom

*angrily* IM GONNA TURN YOU INTO TREE FOOD

Sudden vox in my head: and now introducing, this.... Fuckin thing..... *gestures to cursed cat alastor on a small runway behind him*

HOPE THESE HELP YOU GUYS IM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THE NEW CONTENT!

Friend, I am

CRYING

[i-write-sin-not-tragedy]

Hazbincule ranked by cooking skills, who would you trust in the kitchen.

Angel and Alastor are tied for 1st place.

Both fantastic cooks who know what they're doing and take great pride in their work. Despite everyones concerns at first, no, Alastor does NOT make anyone eat meat they dont want lol hes a cannibal but hes not that evil. He does make venison a lot though. But damn if he doesn't make it well. Spicey food is a given when he cooks.

Angel is a little more chaotic in the kitchen and definitely leaves a mess behind himself but also fresh pasta make from scratch is to die for (pun intended) and he Cooks the most. Also Angel is definitely the "get the fuck OUT OF MY KITCHEN" type when hes cooking.

The two of them in the kitchen together is the most terrifying situation you've ever seen but also results in fantastic meals.

Sir Pentious in 2nd! Hes canonly a good baker!!◇ sweet boy we love him and hes so proud of himself.

Vaggie is comfortably in 3rd place. She's not a chef or anything, but give her a recipe to follow, and she'll do just fine.

Charlie in 4th. Her meals are average. recipes confuse her sometimes, or she mixes up certain measurements or ingredients (and Angel and Alastor insisting you measure garlic "with your heart" has had absolutely catastrophic results in Charlie's hands) but overall like she can make food thats definitely edible and not super offensive!

Husk probably COULD learn to cook but doesn't want to. That man would survive off sandwiches for life if given the option.

I do not trust Cherri anywhere near a kitchen i love her but girl NO— she's gonna end up poisoning someone i know it.

Lucifer went through at least 10 years of depression that man survives off McDonald's unless his daughter brings him something else lmfao

Niffty isn't allowed within a 5 foot radius of the kitchen after the roach incident. No one has mentally recovered.

[b1adie]

blade is so fucking edgy like he’s literally so embarrassing to listen to and its hilarious. kafka and silver wolf are like 😜💥 and sam is like 😶💥 and then here comes blade like Every waking moment of my deplorable and endless life inflicts more ceaseless torment upon my corrupted wretched husk of a body….. like yeah ok grandpa anyways we’re going to space mcdonalds do you want the 4 piece mcnugget happy meal or the 6 piece mcnugget happy meal.

[pinkrelish]

Ok, so I was going on a little trip today with my sister-in-law and 2 year old nephew and while she was in the post office I was staying with him in the car. He started singing ol mcdonald and my heart just exploded with rainbows. And so of course I sang with him and it got me thinking about miss mouse singing with adrie and how eddie would just melt over them. Just miss mouse and adrie being the loves in Eddie's life has my heart in a chokehold. ❤

okay, you and your nephew are adorable, and i'm trying to recover from the image of adrie and miss mouse dancing to the country station wayne's radio is tuned to in the living room, holding hands and shimmying back and forth to the upbeat tempo, singing along only to the chorus and still tripping over the words. eddie's in the kitchen prepping food for the barbecue. smoke from embered charcoal catches the weak summer breeze passing through the door propped open with his heavy work boots, stale air sticky on the skin. evening cricket music hums loud in the static before the station switches to the next song.

the sight isn't wholly unfamiliar to eddie at this point, but he keeps his head down, watching his girls while he absently moves his hands with a task; an excuse prepared in his quick gaze darting to the corn he was supposed to be shucking when wayne leans in from outside and clicks the tongs at him to hurry up. "yes, sir," he says. though, an audible grin soon pulls his attention, and again, he thinks about giving himself a haircut to keep his bangs from feathering his lashes, fumbling the act of peeling away green leaf husks under the pressure of wayne waiting for the paper plate, but his attention stays on his daughter, her twinkling eyes peering up at her idol, cheesy smile plastered on her face a carbon copy of his.

the uncomplicated joy of a dream being fulfilled lifts the groove of his mouth into some lovesick expression, eyes soft and fond. wayne sees this and tuts at the smitten boy on behalf of his growling stomach, old man pretending cigarettes were an apt replacement for lunch. no matter how much eddie seals his lips and smothers his laugh from reaching his shoulders, his uncle reminds him the first batch of chicken is going to be ready any minute now and he better get to makin' the potato salad.

"if this chicken turns out dry, s'your fault," he warns, already on edge about impressing a guest with his barbecue.

"yes, sir. got it, sir. will be done in a jiffy, sir," eddie digs his grave.

it was unfair how his family could make his cheeks ache while doing something as unremarkable as unthreading silk from rows of kernels, but they managed.

[deadghosy]

MCDONALDS HAZBIN HOTEL AU MEMES‼️

[krashoutluv]

IDK why but tumblr hasn't been recommending me your posts T_T

But I found your blog again due to the Kronk Todd post (Kronk Todd my behated)

Anyways, how do you think AK!Jason would be like with an reader that's like Kobeni from Chainsaw Man. Reader has bad social anxiety and is kind of a coward but is very comfortable with Jay. But like they're also willing to defend with all their might Jason even though they seem like a total coward.

NO SAME— idk if you post a lot but i rarely get yours i normally see your posts through mosses reblogs. ANYWAY— hai zombflesh i missed u

I personally would like ANNY variation of Jason Todd w/ someone like this, dynamic would be so good.

Jason Todd with a

“I may not be able to order my own food at mcdonalds but I can light up 27 mfs in a walmart parking lot in ten seconds or less if i try hard enough.” Reader

He wouldn’t mind their anxiety at all, and try’s his hardest to support them during their “cowardly” moments. Hype them up fr!! (Hes so awkward it’s crazy)

Reader would get a lovely, “Nice Job🧍.” and get offered a cigarette and some booze

debating making the reader like this for my fic tbh— but socially awkward reader who has silent existential crisises as 3am and slowly decays into a husk of themselves by the end of the fic has me in a chokehold

[inkwell-illustrations]

Incorrect Quotes for my Hazbin Hotel AU

Husk: what are you two doing? Maxie: Me and Evan are helping papa look for his donuts we ate two hours ago! --------- Maxie & Evan in the back of Husker’s car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!   Angel: We have food at home.   Husk: *pulls into the McDonald's drive through*   Maxie & Evan: YAYYYYYY!   Husk: *orders one black coffee and leaves* --------- Evan, T-posing in the doorway: Morning dad!  Sir Pentious, not looking up from his coffee: Good morning, problem child! --------- (Evan and Maxie coming back to the hotel after spending the day together) Angel: Why are you two covered in blood?! Maxie: Its alright Papa, It's not ours. Angel: Is that supposed to make me feel better?!?

[p1nkhairedgoddess]

McDonalds

*Nifty and Husk on they're way to get some McDonalds:*

👁️😈Nifty🧹🔪: .......

♦️♣️Husk😾🖤: ........

*Nifty Turns to husk*

👁️😈Nifty🧹🔪: Why does Angel call you babygirl?

♦️♣️Husk🖤😾: How about we stop talking now.

[deadbeatbartender]

"Husker dear!"

*Alastor appears infront of the bar and sits down, smiling his usual condescending wide grin.*

"I've heard of your criticisms toward my child! And dont ask why Im in a McDonald's uniform. I am not proud of it."

- @mcalastor

Husk wasn't scared. He was not easy to scare. But, the cheery voice of the Radio Demon always sent chills down his spine. The hair stood up on his neck as he took a long swig of his bottled drink.

"Alastor." He said, voice much less.... friendly. "Heard you had a kid, new to me." He did ignore the uniform, focused on something else now.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: The weakness of peace

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )

Three hours ago the Terran League patrol ship Hade’s Gambit received a distress call from a border outpost along the Sigma V quadrant. Upon arriving at the outpost they discovered that it was under heavy attack from a squadron of unknown warships.

Placing themselves between the marauding fleet and the outpost, Hade’s Gambit began returning fire while the engagement was relayed back to Terran command along with requests for immediate reinforcements.

Another hour passed as the fight raged on and though Hade’s Gambit had sustained heavy damage to all decks they had dished out equal punishment. The marauding fleet had been reduced from a squadron to a single ship; the burning husks of the other ships now locked in orbit around the outpost they had been so eager to destroy.

“Open a communication channel with the last ship.” Captain Halbert said to his communications officer.

If one to look upon Halbert they would be forgiven to believe it was a joke that he was a ship captain. So many years in space had made his body brittle and despite his best efforts to stay in shape he had developed a gut that had required his uniform to be tailored several times over. His long greasy black hair did not do him justice either giving him the appearance of a teenage gas station clerk.

Yet for all perceived lack of physique his mind knew void combat tactics like no other and his quick thinking had saved his ship and crew on more than one occasion with the odds stacked against them. This seemingly inability to be defeated had earned him the nickname “The tanker” from his crew along with their unquestioning loyalty.

The view screen fizzled for a moment on the bridge of Hade’s Gambit before coming into focus and for the first time Halbert laid eyes on his enemy.

Words failed how to properly describe the alien appearing opposite him on the view screen. A horrifying mixture of claws, tentacles, tendrils, mandibles, sets of eyes, gaping holes, and rows of misshapen teeth and mouths dotted across the alien.  The best Halbert could rationalize what he was seeing was if someone collected several dozen different species of bugs, stepped on them, mixed the remains together into a single pile, and then brought the pile back to life.

Halbert squeezed the arm of his command chair as tight as he could just to stop himself from vomiting on the spot; coughing to clear his throat before addressing his foe.

“I am Captain Halbert Mcdonald of the patrol craft Hade’s Gambit;” Halbert began, infusing every ounce of authority he had into each word, “who am I addressing?”

The alien creature’s mouths opened and closed slowly but made no sound. It was only when the mandibles of the alien began clicking rapidly did the galactic translator begin to decipher the message and show the reply in text on the view screen like subtitles.

“We are Tach’ak.” The automated computer read out.

Halbert cast a side long glance at his crew to see if any of them recognized the name but none appeared any the wise. He looked at his communications officer in particular who he could see had been running the name through the Terran database of known species. When he saw the red “X” appear on the screen that was all the confirmation he needed.

“Forgive me but I am unfamiliar with that name.” Halbert continued. “Is that your name or your species name?”

More mandible clicks followed by the simple response “We are Tach’ak.”

Not knowing how to respond Captain Halbert fell back on the standard new species interaction protocols.

“Well, Tach’ak, as much as I wish to extend an arm of friendship to you as this appears to be our first contact between our two peoples; I must inform you that attacking a Terran outpost unprovoked is an act of war.”

The Tach’ak’s mandibles began clicking rapidly in response to this but whatever the alien was saying the computer had no equivalent translation for it. Halbert continued to press on despite the lack of translation.

“However, because our people have never interacted, I am willing to believe that this was an unfortunate misunderstanding between our two peoples and I wish to express my regret for the lives lost on both our sides.”

Several of the bridge crew looked at him as if he had gone mad. The Tach’ak had fired upon a station and killed dozens of fellow Terran’s yet here he was offering his apologies to the other side. The younger crew showed their displeasure visibly on their faces, but the older crew that had been with Halbert longer knew that what he was doing was right.

Humanity had stumbled into the stars and had bumped against many species in its quest to explore the unknown. Not every species they had encountered had been thrilled to find they had a new neighbor and responded violently. For nearly one hundred years the first contact wars had raged as humanity found itself fighting on nearly every border. Were it not for the indomitable spirit of humanity and some clever statesmanship and military campaigns the wars would have resulted in the extinction of humanity. Halbert knew this all too well and was showing what restraint he could to stop his people from being dragged into another war.

“If the Tach’ak is willing I would suggest we allow our leaders to meet and discuss a future peace between our peoples so no such misunderstanding could happen again.”

There was a long pause of silence after Halbert’s last statement. The alien titled what he assumed was his head side to side as if they were a puppy lost in deep thought. When next it spoke the translator was able to decipher it.

“Weakness.”

That single word was all that the translation gave. Halbert frowned as the rest of the crew looked nervously at each other as the Tach’ak began clicking again.

“You don’t know Tach’ak, but Tach’ak know you; human.” The Tach’ak spoke.

Though it was an automated translation Halbert could not help but hear a mocking tone underneath the voice of the computer.

“We have watched and studied you, observed your habits and methods.” The Tach’ak continued. “You accept peace too easily.”

“Last time I looked out my window it was your ships burning in the void,” Halbert spoke up, “now I fail to see how that implies we accept peace too easily.”

Tach’ak shook their head in a surprisingly human fashion.

“Yet you offer terms of peace after; thus proving your weakness.”

The clicking mandibles increasing in rhythm as several dozen clicks were beat in rapid succession.

“The Tach’ak have called the fleet; the Tach’ak will remove your weakness from the galaxy, and your worlds and people shall be nothing but food for the Tach’ak.”

It went so quiet on the bridge of the Hade’s Gambit that one could hear a needle drop as clear as day. Each crew member looking at each other, realization of what was about to happen appearing on their faces. Some ran diagnostic checks on systems, some quietly got status updates on the repair crews, and some began reaching for holy symbols and began praying to whatever deity they held close for protection.

The silence pressed down on them all like a thick blanket that would smother them all until finally the captain’s rose once more and cut through the dread like a knife through butter.

No words of bravado or defiance, no outcries for peace and understanding. No; the captain merely sat in his throne and laughed like a madman in the face of the Tach’ak. His laughter was a mixture of deep bellows and high pitched giggles as he laughed long and hard into the view screen.

“Your destruction amuses you?” the Tach’ak asked.

Halbert composed himself to respond as his roaring laughter died down to fits of giggles. A single tear running down the side of his face as he finally felt the last of his laughter drain from his body.

“No, but your extinction will be hilarious.” Halbert replied.

Halbert didn’t wait for the alien to reply and stood up from his command chair. He paced forward until he was standing directly in front of the view screen. He wanted Tach’ak to see the look in his eyes as he gave him this lesson.

“If you truly claim to have been watching us then you must know that you are not the first species that thought picking a fight with humanity would be easy.” Halbert began. “The Orions, the Gemini Cartel, the Hopel Imperium, the Maraxis, the Clandestine Ascendency, the Six Star Alliance, the Federation of Nel, the Drenari, the Jin; all of them thought they could take us on easily and yet here we still are.”

Tach’ak’s mandibles clicked rapidly once more. “Yet they still exist as well, showing you are unable to finish a war to its natural conclusion.”

Halbert shook his head. “No, it shows that despite everything we found something admirable amongst each of them and thought that ridding the galaxy of their people and cultures would be an injustice.”

Halbert fixed Tach’ak with a cold gaze. “I can assure you right now that will not be a situation with your people.”

“My people will look upon you and see nothing more than a stain on the galaxy waiting to be removed, for there is nothing of your kind I find even remotely redeemable as of now.” Halbert spoke.

“Your fleet will most likely arrive before ours and destroy my little ship, but the fleets that will be raised afterwards will descend on your worlds like a plague and leave nothing but ruin in their wake.”

For the briefest of moments Halbert thought he saw the Tach’ak flinch slightly under his relentless stare and so he pressed home his advantage.

“Your people are under the misconception that just because we wish to have peace means we are somehow afraid to fight, that we lack conviction to do what is needed to achieve victory and security amongst the stars; when in reality only the strong can dictate the terms of peace and carry the willingness to enforce it.”

Hlabert went back to his command chair and quietly sat down again as the Tach’ak watched in silence. When next he spoke it was soft and comforting unlike his icy tone from before.

“I give you this one warning now, for the sake of your people and the friendship that may one day grow between our peoples; stand down your fleet and accept the negotiations.”

The Tach’ak did not reply at first, time feeling like an eternity had passed before their mandibles began clicking once more.

“You think you could match the might of the Tach’ak?”

Halbert rested his head on his hand coyly. “All that would be left would be a gaping hole in the universe where your people once were; a monument of death to the galaxy of what defiance to humanity would bring.”

The casualness of the statement finally made the Tach’ak recoil slightly from the view screen as if Halbert would reach through at any moment and throttle the life from him.

“We shall accept the negotiators.”

With that the link was killed and the Tach’ak vessel began slowly approaching the outpost it had previously fired upon. Their weapons and shields both powered down much to Halbert’s relief.

With that duel of words now finished Halbert turned back to his communications officer.

“Relay this conversation back to Terran command and request negotiators as well to the relief fleet.” Halbert said. “One way or another we will make peace this day.”