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themizzcandy · 1 year

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65th GRAMMYs 2023: Best R&B Performance

The 2023 Grammys are coming soon, and nominees have been announced. What better way for me to kick off this blog than to review the nominees in the R&B categories? Let’s see what & who got nominated, let’s talk about my predictions, and then let’s stay tuned on February 5th to see if I’m right.

Spoiler: I’m usually right.

“Best R&B Performance: This Category recognizes excellence in a performance by an R&B solo artist, collaborating artists, established duos, or groups.”

Virgo's Groove - Beyonce

Let me start off by stating the obvious: Beyoncé’s Renaissance album is a work of sonic art.

Virgo’s Groove is one of my favorites on Renaissance. Produced in part by The-Dream, its driving bass and complementary synth sounds create an old-school groove that incites movement. The change in cadence of the lyrics allows the song to give different flavors every few bars, while keeping the backing track fairly constant. The “baby come over” section evokes a different mood than the “right here, right now” section, for example. Then the icing on the cake is the pretty falsetto runs at the tail end of the song. Overall a lovely song and a great contender.

But it isn’t the only great contender.

Here With Me - Mary J. Blige ft Anderson .Paak

All love and respect to Mary J., and we love Anderson .Paak (although, I have some suspicions about how his features on everybody and their mama’s projects might have dampened the vision Bruno had for Silk Sonic, possibly leading him to pull them from all Grammy categories this year.. but that’s another story for another time).

But I have to be honest. I don’t know if I understand why this particular song got nominated. The lyrics are cool: a metaphor on performing arts to describe an ideal relationship of sorts. “I make the features and do all the casting/Who gon’ direct me with all them theatrics?” Clever. The track is also really smooth and mellow, shout out to producers. But vocally and melodically this song doesn’t do much for me, especially in comparison with other songs in this category.

Hrs & Hrs - Muni Long

Yoouurrssss, miiiiiiine… oouuurrsss!

Muni Long has been around for a while as a writer and singer, previously under a different name, but this is the first song I heard performed by her. And I was soooo impressed. This isn’t a songwriters’ category, but I’m in love with the way this song is written. Her vocal performance is also beautiful; I don’t recall a recent R&B song with as many riffs and runs all throughout the song like this. The soulful track and sultry vocal complements the story of being totally enamored of a good man. This song is classic R&B at a time when more experimental and new-wave sounds are dominating the space, and I’m 100% here for it.

Me? Big Lucky Daye fan.

Candydrip? Incredible album.

Anybody with a life notices the Halfcrazy sample as soon as this track starts, and that already wins you over. Shoutout to D'Mile on production. The juxtaposition made by sampling this classic and adding Lucky’s more modern take on soul makes for a song that’s both nostalgic and present at the same time. And this is saying a lot, because many of the songs today that sample early 2000s hits do so in a really lazy and generic way (that’s also another story for another time; lazy sampling). In addition, Lucky gives us the modern cadence that mimics today’s R&B/rap fusion, but infuses it with an actual ability to sing. He’s giving us infectious melody in the verses and range in the chorus. This song is R&B perfection and the most successful marriage of past and present I’ve seen this year. Genius.

Jazmine THEE Sullivan.

This song has everything: incredible vocal range, unmatched vocal agility, a soaring chorus, a heart-felt heartbreaky story told by the lyrics, plus - and this is important - it’s a waltz. Just like Hrs & Hrs, a waltz just adds to the soulfulness of an R&B song. Nobody can cover Hurts Me So Good and do it any justice; this is A Jazmine Sullivan song, period. So in terms of performance, it is a 10/10. My only source of confusion is why this song isn’t in the traditional R&B category; that seems like it would’ve been more suitable.

Who should win?

This one is hard for me to predict because this category is completely stacked. I’m gonna try my best..

I’m giving the Grammy to Lucky Daye - Over. The combination of the sampling, vocal performance, slight rapping and lyricism makes this song a really perfect concoction of past, present and future.

My very close 2nd is Hrs & Hrs; it is quintessential love and tenderness with gorgeous melodies.

My very close 3rd: Virgo’s Groove. Because groovy, because Beyonce. But there’s a je ne sais quoi that the first 2 have over this one.

We’ll see what happens!

#music #r&b #grammys #Spotify

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purplerose244 · 4 years

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My thoughts on Tales of Arcadia: Wizards 💚💚💚

LOOK OUT FOR THE SPOILERS!!!

...

SHORT VERSION

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😍😍😱😍😭😍😍😱😱😱😱😭😭😍😍😍😍😍😭😭😭😱😱😭😭😍😍😍😭😭😱😱😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😱😱😱😱😍😍😍😍😍

REGULAR VERSION

I don't know if I can fully express how emotionally exhausted I am right now. I cried. And I'm not talking about metaphorical tears or stuff like that, no-ho-ho, I'm talking real freaking tears. A roller coaster of emotions, truly. You stood by your words Aaron 👌

Douxie gets into the best protagonists I've ever seen group ASAP. Like, I knew I was going to love him but GREAT GAYLEN this is ridiculous. I WOULD DIE FOR THIS WIZARD AND HE WOULD PROBABLY WANT TO SAVE ME ANYWAY LIKE HE IS A POOR BABY WHO JUST WANTS TO BE RECOGNIZED BY HIS MASTER AND FIX EVERYTHING AND SAVE HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND AAAAAAA 🤯🤯🤯

JIAIRE 💙💜💙💜 Everything about them, from them wanting to find the other, to how much they just love each other so MUCH, to the kisses, to Claire not giving up on him, not even once. This is the ship, the OTP, the couple that went through so much yet somehow still made it. Bless them 💕💕💕

I'm biased because I love Steve and I generally don't mind comic relief, I think they are more useful than people think. That being said, yes it did feel a bit... useless? The part with Lancelot was still very cool anyway so good on that. Kinda felt like Steve found a group of dads in Camelot 😚 Also him sending that one message to Aja, that was something 😂 Can't help it liking Staja 💙💙 Although him calling out Eli so much was also very interesting 😏😏

Do I even have in me the words to fully express how amazing was Claire's arc in this? How she wanted nothing more but to save the man she loves? How she managed to get a hold onto her dark powers even though they are scary and she didn't want to become like Morgana? HOW CAN I FULLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH OF AN MVP WAS CLAIRE NUNEZ IN THIS??? 💜💜💜

Also Morgana? MORGANA??? We saw her point of view, the heart she used to have, the compassion that somehow brought her to the edge of darkness! And her redemption, AND ACTUAL!! REDEMPTION!! FOR MORGANA!! 😱😱😱😱😱 Her working with Claire, heck yeah, omg, I don't have words for such awesomeness 👌👌

Deya was glorious. I think we all kinda knew Callista was going to become the first trollhunter 😅 But she has such a strong and unique personality, and a background that makes sense for her to acquire a new identity as the first defender of the two worlds. I loved how much she connected with Jimbo, loved her A LOT 👌👌

Seeing Blinky and AAARRGGHH!! meeting for the first time and slowly building their friendship, that's the sappy stuff I'm looking for 😍😍

... wait now that I'm writing I realized, Angor Rot was there? Just that one cameo? That sounds a little suspicious 🤔

Okay sorry, I need preparation for this one *clears voice* Why is- No that's not right *cough a bit* Why is that...! No no still too low *deeply inhales* Okay so...

WHY IS THAT BEST BOY JIM ALWAYS GETS HORRIBLE STUFF THAT HE DOESN'T DESERVE?!?!? 😭😭😭

The luck of this kid, my world 😞 Besides this, man that was heartwrenching, loved it even thought it hurt a lot. And the best part is that, nothing was out of character, it all made perfect sense. Jim is and remains an altruistic person, even to a fault, who would and will think about others before himself, even if that means putting himself into such danger. I think him turning back into a human will generate a bit of controversy through the fandom, which I can understand, but personally I think it makes sense how they did it IN THIS WAY. Especially since he is now without amulet, after such a strong experience, in need to reshape himself... is this why in the game he doesn't have a troll form? NOW I'M WAITING FOR THE GAME EVEN MORE!!! 😍😍😍

The bonds. The bonds, freaking, how refreshing they were? Not only we didn't get a useless triangle with Jiaire and Douxie, him and Claire had a genuine friendship and he even taught her magic! And Archie was MAGNIFICENT?? 😭😭 Fully supportive, so close to Douxie, he clearly loves him dearly and wants only the best for him I LOVE THIS FAMILIAR SO MUCH 😍😍😍

And then Merlin... Wizards actually managed to make me feel sorry for him. And I would like to applaude the season for not making him fully good, like just because it was proved he cares about others doesn't mean he is not the known jerk that thinks about "the bigger picture" first before actual lives. Toby said it that nobody likes him (I know it was a joke but there is a bit of truth for me), Claire clearly despised him, even Douxie said it at the end that he wasn't perfect. But I think half his entire kind of redemption was right into his last words. He said his greatest accomplishment was saving Douxie. The greatest magician of all times said he did better saving a "nobody" than stuff like helping prevent the Eternal Night, or saving Camelot. I think he realized there the real bigger picture, and that actually made it hard for me to watch him pass. I really thought if he was ever going to die in the show, I would've been ecstatic 😅 But no, it felt like he died right when he was understanding. And that hurt... dang it TOA crew, playing with my heart!

But what hurt the most was just how much Merlin meant to Douxie. He was everything. His master. His friend. His father even. Not the perfect one, but one that made him who he is. He gave him a purpose, a path to follow, and a reason to be. And at the end he was someone who was even glad to see Douxie making choices different from his, like he was happy to see him taking a different path... I cried okay 😢

I know a lot of people were hoping and got rewarded to see Zoe involved, me included 😂 Didn't really explain much of the relationship between her and Doux, maybe another time? Still nice to see her pink hair again 💕💕💕

If any of you heard some kind of strong explosion coming from the general direction of Italy... that was me after seeing Krel again 😅😅 I am disappointed that he was barely involved (although him tinkering with Akiridion tech and magic was DOPE LET HIM DO MORE OF THAT) but apparently there's a movie coming next year so I'm guessing that one will show the arc Diego told us about?... I WANNA SEE MY LITTLE BOY IN ACTION AGAIN 💙💙💙💙

Also too bad Toby also didn't have that much of a role, hopefully they will fix that in the next installation 👍

I did like the Arcane Order, they all have cool as heck powers and amazing designs. With that being said, it felt like there's still stuff to discover? I freaked out for a month because of Skreal since he looked so much like an Akiridion, but Krel didn't acknowledge that? Is it just a coincidence? It didn't help the fact that they even have a similar name 😅 Also fire pal there had a mask... maybe it's just me but in my opinion masks should always be there because of a reveal. And they seemed pretty unknown. I loved these villains, they are cool as HECK and Skreal cracked me up 🤣 It just feels like we still don't know much about them

Also Nari is absolutely adorable and cute and PRECIOUS and I'm happy she's with Douxie and has that super cute disguise omg so freaking CUTE 💚💚💚

What a ride. What. A. Ride. I'm more than ever looking forward to this movie, because I hope we'll get Akiridions fully into this. Is this why the Genesis Seals are made of three parts? That would make sense

... wait wasn't Jim's dad supposed to be revealed here? Did I miss something? Or is it for the movie? I STILL HAVE QUESTIONS!!! 😱😱 The movie might actually be like a second season of Wizards. This one presented Douxie, the next one will be the final fusion of all the three franchises. CAN'T. WAIT. NOW ONTO THE VIDEOGAME 😍

FULL EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER 😭😭😭 Amazing, really amazing, and I'm really happy it's not the last we've seen of this franchise. The end will come, but not today my friends 😉

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 4 years

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I don’t need you to love me, I love me

I’m gonna miss writing about Pearl.

As the loneliest Crystal Gem, a loyal servant who became a fierce ally, then a spurned lover, then a grieving survivor, Pearl’s story is about discovering who she can be on her own terms. Like Steven, she believes that her value comes from being valued, but unlike Steven, she was literally programmed this way and has an even harder time breaking loose, so she starts off at the toxic level of selfish selflessness that threatens to consume him, directed towards someone who’s been dead for years. She defines herself by her relationships, but struggles with all of them because she only understands a dynamic where one person is superior and the other is inferior; as such, her life is an endless evaluation of whether she’s worse or better than the people around her, thus whether she should be deferential or condescending. Her problem goes beyond not knowing how to develop loving relationships with equals: she doesn’t know how to love herself.

But she changes her mind.

“We need to talk about us.”

The first act of Change Your Mind (which lines up nicely with its first quarter) sets the stage with Blue and Yellow both converting to Steven’s cause, and while compelling, it’s appropriately intense. That intensity gets even higher as the episode continues, but this is still a big finale, so it’s about damn time for some fanservice.

After a quick “go to your rooms” to reinforce that White Diamond is the Diamonds’ mother more than their older sister, Connie gets the body part pun train rolling: “face-off” will soon be followed by “did you have a hand in this?” and “lend me a hand” (which earns a chuckle from Blue), Pink’s legs succumb when Steven takes a knee, and getting into White’s head becomes the primary goal of the second act (so all of this second quarter and most of the third). Still, the levity seems fleeting before two glints in the sky bring us the one-two punch of Bismuth leading the charge and Lapis and Peridot showing off their threads.

Bismuth fits right in as the leader of the B-Team, as beyond her seniority she’s clearly more competent at running a show than the other two (see: The New Crystal Gems). But her reverse electric guitar soon cedes to a glorious harmony of Lapis and Peridot’s themes as we see their new forms: Lapis gets pants and sandals, and Peridot gets ridiculous shades and a trashcan lid, the perfect adaptation of Static’s saucer for the Crystal Gems’ resident raccoon. Peridot goes ham with three stars, while Lapis wears a subtle dark blue variant that includes all five points if we count her legs. For a moment, everything is right in the world.

Their timing couldn’t be better, and not just because we need some stress relief. Steven begins the finale with one friend on his side, then he gets two Diamonds on his side, and now he has three reinforcements on his side, and this growing group of allies all represent what the Big Three Crystal Gems can’t: the family that Steven has chosen, rather than the family he grew up with. These relationships are all a result of his effort, whether going out of his way to befriend Connie or winning over the five former enemies that now stand at his side, and together they‘re one huge reminder that you can reach people if they’re willing to be reached. White Diamond isn’t a villain because she’s cruel, she’s a villain because she quashes any effort to change her mind.

Furthermore, seeing Lapis and Peridot in particular next to a pale, prejudiced, recently-discovered member of Steven’s extended family who disagrees with a parent’s name change evokes that other long episode where Steven went out on a limb to change someone’s mind, and the comparison does wonders for putting White Diamond’s bigotry in perspective.

I’ve already made my defense of Andy, but in short, his irritable first impression masks how open-minded he ends up being. Sure, he has some lousy beliefs, but he’s willing to sit down with folks he disagrees with and try and look for ways to either compromise or straight-up be convinced that those beliefs might be wrong. On its own, Gem Harvest could be read as a little too hopeful, especially as it came out weeks after the 2016 election gave proud bigots the White House, but next to Change Your Mind it expands on the finale’s message: keep an open heart and mind, because people can surprise you if you give them a chance, but don’t let yourself be a doormat in the process.

White Diamond would never have come to the Crystal Gems’ table. She still hasn’t even shown up in person since Legs From Here to Homeworld, using a warped version of the same delegation Steven practices in his talks with the Diamonds: he helps others bring their individual experiences to light, showing that his position isn’t unique, while she blots out their individuality and replaces them with her. Blue and Yellow’s contrast has been a plot point for far longer, but Pink and White (and now Steven and White) are an even starker pair of foils, divided not only by personality but by size and age.

Knowing how hard it will be to reach White, Yellow and Blue again suggest that Steven and the Crystal Gems bail, offering their own ships now that Pink’s is unavailable. While this shows how profoundly they believe in him, it again reveals how unfamiliar these two are with being “good.” Beyond the plan only delaying the inevitable (White Diamond for sure could send more troops to Earth in this scenario), Steven points out that his mother failed in both of her identities to confront the problem in a healthy way, and continuing to avoid it will mean it never gets solved. Rose is still a progression from Pink and Yellow and Blue, as fighting for your beliefs addresses the issue more directly than running away, but Steven in turn is a progression from Rose.

Then Connie’s opening words in Blue and Yellow’s conversions pay off. This time she’s the one ending the conversation, and she’s gained enough of their attention that they don’t write her off as a blathering human. Steven never got to meet Rose, rank-and-file Gems don’t have parents, and White Diamond seems to be the root of it all, so Connie is the ideal voice to reach the Diamond Sisters: she’s the only other person on the planet with a living mother. Where Dr. Maheswaran at her worst once stood in for Yellow Diamond, she can now represent the bigger fish, both in her similar brand of maternal tyranny and in the hope that her attitude can change after a good talk.

And just as Connie takes over Steven’s role as the big finisher for Blue and Yellow, Steven takes over Connie’s role as the voice introducing bigger voices now that it’s time to face White. He works with his aunts to bring his grandmother to a standstill—not by beating her statue-like ship into submission, but by joining the arm-ships to the body and completing the picture—and says his piece briefly before ceding the floor to a pair that White has victimized for far longer than the past week or so.

I love that Yellow is the first to speak, flipping the Diamonds’ conversion order and subverting the notion that the more emotionally open Blue might take the lead. This isn’t just a matter of clarity, but bravery, and Yellow has always been the more confrontational of the pair. It’s also that much more impactful to see Yellow push past her fear and allow herself to be vulnerable, given how hard she’s worked to maintain her air of stoicism. Patti LuPone’s raw power has served the character well, and she keeps up the same petulant energy that saw Yellow dishing about White in Familiar, but now she funnels all of it into a stirring argument against the exacting nature of Homeworld society. And because Yellow helps pave the way, Blue can deepen their point by defending Pink’s role in the quartet and detailing how White’s orders have caused the whole family to suffer.

Steven bookends the Diamonds by suggesting that White can start helping everyone by helping her daughters. Then White shows what kind of “help” she’s willing to provide.

Pink’s former pearl was already proof that White Diamond has the power to possess others, but it’s another thing to see it in action. The whole episode so far has been about building up hope again after Steven is knocked down by Homeworld, but all it takes is one agonizing glare to send everything backwards. Blue and Yellow are even worse off than they were before, and as they’re brought into White’s fold, their arms follow suit. White drops the Crystal Gems and lets them fall, then Steven drops the Crystal Gems and dives after them.

As he slides down alien architecture on his shield, the soundtrack gives a nod to the theme song to prepare us for more fanservice. Now that White has made it clear that talking isn’t going to get us anywhere, it’s time for more action. Now that we’ve established the importance of Steven’s chosen family, it’s time to reconnect with the family he was born into.

Amethyst is first, because of course she is. She’s usually the quickest to reform, and she’s the only Gem that Steven has fused with, so Smoky Quartz is the best start if the goal is reeling off three fusions in a row with a growing sense of excitement. Smoky’s theme heralds this new development with glee, evoking the pure joy of seeing a new fusion from Earthlings as it becomes clear what the show is doing. Fusion has recently featured as a stand-in for marriage and an act of rebellion, but now it represents familial love, and doubles as an elegant plot device to get the poofed crew back in action. The wonder of fusion has always been that beyond whatever metaphor it currently serves, it’s also just a really neat piece of magic that lends itself to awesome visuals, and this whole sequence revels in the glorious spectacle.

Pearl is second, because we’ve already seen another version of Rainbow Quartz, so the biggest reveal is bound to be the Garnet fusion. Rainbow Quartz 2.0 blends the old with the new, immediately showing off the latest clever fusion of weapons (a shield and a spear into a parasol) and introducing a blue jacket that will soon belong to Pearl. The drumkit/chiptune mashup of Smoky’s theme is replaced by a piano/chiptune mashup, and then this new fusion opens their mouth.

Of all of Steven’s fusions with a female or female-presenting partner, this is the one with a male voice actor, and it couldn’t be more perfect. Rainbow Quartz was the only one of Rose’s fusions that we saw, and Now We’re Only Falling Apart shows that she was the second-ever cross-Gem fusion after Garnet (that we know of), so she was clearly something special. Pearl’s romantic interest in Rose complicates matters further, as Rainbow Quartz is an embodiment of a deeply imperfect relationship. This is a character with a lot of baggage, but casting Alastair James puts a hard stop to the idea that this is the same Rainbow Quartz, even before we hear them refer to themself as “2.0.” After the literal nightmare that begins Change Your Mind and the figurative nightmare to come, it’s wonderful to have one more piece of evidence that Steven and Rose are different people.

Amethyst and Pearl, like Lapis and Peridot, get great new looks, and they’ll soon be followed by Garnet (after the commercial break). If this was just for the sake of fanservice, it’d be more than enough: it’s always fun to get outfit changes, and between that and the fusions (including Sunstone and Obsidian; again, after the commercial break!) we get a pleasant treat to sate us between the drama. But as always, the show finds a way to create deeper meaning in the magic.

The Diamonds look the same now as they did thousands of years ago, and one of the reasons why is that they’re unbreakable. Creating a new form requires poofing, which is a very silly way to say that the Crystal Gems have found a way to grow through pain.

Life will always have its share of pain. Part of growing up, maybe the biggest part, is figuring out what you’re going to do about it. The Diamonds react to pain by closing themselves off and letting their problems fester rather than addressing them head-on. But over the course of the series, Lapis and Peridot and Amethyst and Pearl and Garnet have put in the work to learn from their pain and heal, and because they’re literal projections of their true selves, they get a physical manifestation of that growth that can only come after weathering one more blow.

To be clear, pain itself shouldn’t be glamorized. It sucks, and it’s okay if your reaction is to take care of yourself rather than use it for Creative Fuel. But the Crystal Gems are what happens when you deal with your pain, and the Diamonds are what happens when you don’t. And because Steven shares the legacy of both, Steven Universe is about him helping others through their pain and Steven Universe Future is about finally confronting his own.

We end with the most frustrating commercial break of the three, coming right in the middle of the second act, so we’ll just keep on going with fusions and new outfits next time. But if we have to stop partway through a scene, at least we get a Monty Python Foot to stamp out the first half of Change Your Mind.

I Can’t Believe We’ve Come So Far

Hilary Florido is the only storyboarder with their own recurring segment in Steven, Universally. But every other storyboarder had plenty of opportunities to make a fully realized High School AU in their promo art, and none of them did, so that’s on them.

Florido is obviously more than her promo art, but it speaks to a specific level of nerdy passion that made her and longtime coboarder Jesse Zuke so dang good at Peridot episodes, starting with just their second collaboration, the iconic Catch and Release. From there they gave us Too Far and Log Date 7 15 2 and Barn Mates and Too Short to Ride and Beta and Gem Harvest, and Florido kept the ride going with Raising the Barn. Peridot would not be Peridot without Hilary Florido.

In terms of more serious clods, Florido is the only person to board all three Kevin appearances (Alone Together with Rebecca Sugar and first regular coboarder Katie Mitroff, Beach City Drift with Zuke, and Kevin Party with final regular coboarder Danny Cragg, who also stopped boarding after the movie). She gave us as Ronaldo at his worst in Rocknaldo and Aquamarine at her worst in I Am My Mom. And as if she needed further proof of her prowess with harrowing material, she gave us Alone at Sea and A Single Pale Rose.

It’s weird to attribute good Steven writing to any one boarder, given he’s in every episode but Jungle Moon and he’s generally pretty great, but Florido worked on some of the most important moments of Steven letting us into his deeper thoughts: she’s behind him getting real with the Cool Kids in Joy Ride, with Amethyst in Steven vs. Amethyst, and with himself in a rare monologue in Lion 4. His ability to discuss the uncomfortable subtext of Mystery Girl’s visual similarity to Rose is key to the magnificent tone of Last One Out of Beach City, and his introspection about his mother’s older identity is just as important to Familiar.

In short, Hilary Florido rocked at characters with rough edges, whether it was Peridot’s ornery id, a bevy of outright villains ruining everyone’s day, normally sympathetic characters doing dubious things, or Steven giving himself enough of a break to complain. She stepped up as a storyboard supervisor for Steven Universe Future, but even if she hadn’t, her legacy would be secure.

(Frankly it’d be secure even if the only thing she gave us was this.)

#change your mind #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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animerunner · 3 years

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Luz’s Not So Great Luck

Fandom: The Owl House

Relationship: Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda, Luz Noceda & Willow Park, Luz Noceda & Gus Porter, Luz Noceda & Amity Blight, Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne

Characters: Eda Clawthorne, Luc Noceda, Willow Park, Gus Porter, Lilith Clawthorne, Amity Blight

Warnings: Implied Child Abuse, Summary: Luz and Eda don't talk much about how the magical human stumbled into Eda's life. Literally. But that doesn't stop people from asking. Theme: Unconscious (aka what kick starts this plot)

Notes: Okay got a few things to cover here before we start. Eda's curse. This does get addressed in the next one (since we're still in the same verse) but for now for reassurance sake I'll say this. Yes Eda was still cursed in this verse. However after that things take a turn. I'll explain maybe whenever I get to the standalone for this. But she is still a disability rep. Just how she is a rep is now different.I wouldn't remove the curse without putting something in its place. Eda's curse means far too much on a personal level to erase her representation entirely. I do have a plan. And it will make sense I hope. Also in that same kind of vein yes there is a catch here with Luz doing magic. It is kind of referenced here but we'll get into more details later. Last thing I can't fully go into the details as to why, yet, but Camila is absent from this Luz's life. Not by choice mind you. But that plays a part in how Luz ends up in this situation.

Last note. There ended up being a bit too many parallels for me between this and Campverse as the kick off point. And I decided rather than keep two separate stories, to integrate the Campverse idea into this where I could. Unforunately not everything could. But here we are. With this sort of fusion between campverse and orphanverse with some other stuff thrown in. No orphanverse isn’t being dropped. Just campverse. Anyways Ao3 link here. Story is under the read more otherwise~

Eda, King, and Luz don’t often talk about the first time they met.

Mainly because Luz doesn’t remember any of it.

Sure she remembers the decision to run away from the camp. She remembers finding the portal door and stumbling through it. The last thing she remembers is a flash of orange that she now knows was Eda’s hair. After that though everything is blank for a few days.

Really to be honest she doesn’t remember much of those first few weeks if she is being completely honest.

The few times she asked Eda it went nowhere. Eda always gets this distant look when those early weeks come up. King’s answers are worded in a way so Luz is never sure if she can take him seriously.

In the end it doesn’t really matter to Luz.

She found Eda and she’s away from the camp that’s all she really cares about.

-------------------

Lilith is the first one to ask about it.

It’s a quiet moment between her and Eda. Amity, Luz, and King are elsewhere. They’re talking about some of the after effects of the curse.

Even now years after the curse had been removed. The effects aren’t completely gone.

Eda had paused for a moment to check on some potions she had brewing at the moment. Lilith of course had questioned what seemed like an abnormally large order compared to when she had seen Eda working before. To which Eda had simply said it was for a monthly personal stock.

“I wasn’t aware you took so many potions.” Lilith said, frowning. Not liking at all the implications at all that the five different cauldrons implied.

Eda shakes her head at that. “I don’t. They’re not mine, they're for Luz.”

“Oh.” Amity had mentioned Luz had said she had some health issues. Lilith had never really thought about the extensiveness of it before now. “I didn’t realize it was such a concern.”

“Yeah well they caused some hiccups when she first came to stay with me so I’ve had to deal with them front and center.”

Hell, part of the reason Luz had ended up with her was because of it.

“You know I never asked. How did you two meet in the first place?”

“There’s not much to tell.”

Really there wasn’t. All it had been was Luz stumbling through the door which she had forgotten to close. Fainting from a high fever.

Luz had originally ended up staying at The Owl House because Eda had no clue where she had come from. She didn’t know where the local landmarks were. Or where the human healers were. And she wasn’t about to kick out a sick child on her watch.

The following weeks were where the story really started arguably.

“There must be some story behind it Edalyn.” Lilith protests.

Eda pauses for a moment there seeming to consider how to best respond to that. “Maybe there is but do I ask you how you and Amity came to live together?”

That does the trick in getting Lilith to stop the questions.

------------------- Amity is next though she’s a lot less direct than her mother figure.

Boscha was being her normal self. Though a comment directed towards Eda had managed to set Luz off in a way Amity wasn’t used to seeing before.

It had been only through some quick thinking and intervention no one had ended up in a fist fight.

“Why did you even go after Boscha? You know that’s just going to make things worse right?”

“I know but you don’t get it. She never goes after you and Lilith.”

Now it was Amity’s turn to get annoyed. “Only because of Lilith’s status and you know that.”

Luz realized she had accidentally stepped on some toes in her own anger. “Right sorry. It just hit really close to home this time. Too close.”

Amity frowned not for the first time confused by her friend’s behavior and history. It didn’t make much sense to her if she was being honest. “What part the part about Eda being a-”

“No, no. It's the other part.” Luz admitted with hesitance. “Eda took me in when no one else wanted me. If I didn’t have Eda, I don’t know where I would be right now.”

Dead probably. Eda had saved her in more than one fashion.

“How did she save you anyway?”

Luz didn’t like talking about her time before the Boiling Isles. Something that for the most part Amity respected. Everyone had skeletons in their closet. Sometimes a bit more figuratively then literal in the case of Luz. So Amity was always wondering how in the world a wild witch like Eda had essentially come to adopt a human.

“I wish I could tell you but I honestly don’t remember much after I first started living there. My...issue was uncontrolled back then and at its worst before Eda helped.”

Oh that’s what Luz meant by save.

Amity lets the topic drop from there.

------------------- Then Willow.

Willow is more just curious about how they became a family to begin with when she asks Luz the question.

“Does it really matter?” Luz asks.

To her at least it doesn’t matter. Eda’s the first person that she feels genuinely cares about her. She never knew her parents and the foster families she had gone through had only tolerated her so much.

“Nah I get it. Family’s family. Regardless if it’s by blood. I was just being a bit nosey that’s all.”

Luz nods, she guessed the question was inevitable at some point. Considering whether to answer before saying. “To be honest I don’t really remember anything about the first few days.”

“Nothing?”

“No. When Eda found me I was sick, extremely so. I was in and out of consciousness for a few days. And even then after that it's all kinds of muddled until she helped me find the right potions to help.”

To be honest Luz doesn’t really remember much about her first month on the Isles.

“I didn’t realize it was flaring at the time.”

“Only because of the camp.” Luz grumbled.

Her opinion on the whole camp affair is complicated. She hates every memory attached to it. She hates how bad things got. However without it she probably would never have met Eda. Never found the Isles that had slowly become her home in the past year.

So, yeah it was complicated to say the least.

Willow’s look at first surprises Luz. Then she remembers that she almost never talks about how screwed up the camp was.

Eda is really the only one who knows outside of her healer. And Luz sometimes just prefers to keep it private.

The less she reflects on that time the better.

“Hey, I’m fine.” Luz assures.

“Still that that happened to begin with…”

“It’s messed up. I know that. However, without them I would never have met Eda or you or anyone else. So-” Luz shrugs. “It’s not all horrible.”

------------------- Finally Gus thought of his way of asking if by far the least indirect.

“I just don’t get if there’s so much cool stuff on Earth why you left?”

Luz thinks for a moment picking her words carefully. Gus, of the friend group probably knew the least about her pre-Eda time. Part of Luz didn’t want to break his fascination with the human realm. Just because she didn't have a great history there.

Though that reality breaking moment was probably going to come at some point anyway.

“It’s...complicated. Not everything's sunshine and rainbows on Earth, Gus. I know you see the good side.” Partly because that was mainly what came up when it came to Human Appreciation Club things. “But not everything’s perfect.”

“Sunshine and rainbows?”

“Ah right you guys wouldn’t have that here.” Even after living on the Isles for a year Luz still got tripped up over the different metaphors. “I don’t know what the equivalent here is but basically means not everything is good and happy as it seems.”

“Ah so like there can’t always be moonlight and conjurings. Got it.”

Luz made a note to ask Eda about that later. Though she guessed it sounded similar enough.

Maybe she should ask Eda for a book on witch metaphors.

“So were things really that bad?”

Luz hesitates for a moment trying to think how to best respond to it. Sure not everything was bad. But for years the good had been buried under so much.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“It must hurt to think about Earth if you have all those bad memories attached to it.”

“It does sometimes.” Luz admits. “But talking with you about the good times helps me remember that not everything was bad all the time.”

Gus lights up. “I’m glad I can help then.”

------------------- It’s only after Gus that Luz finally asks Eda what actually happened.

“Why do you wanna know.”

“I guess I’m just curious. I don’t remember anything after I arrived for several days. And by the time I really started getting better you had pretty much just taken me in.”

Eda seems to debate at first for a moment, finally saying. “Alright. But first let's start with what’s the last thing you remember before waking up here. And the first thing you remember after that.”

“Stumbling through the portal door and then waking up in your room a few days later.”

“Yeah that sounds about right.” Eda agrees. “Alright then-”

Owlbert had been running behind getting back from his human treasure run. So Eda had left the door open. What she hadn’t expected was for Owlbert to show up with a teenage girl in tow.

Before Eda gets the chance to question anyone on anything. Like just how did Owlbert acquire a human apparently. The girl passes out on her.

“What the heck?”

King walks up to her side. “Is she dead?”

“I don’t think so.” Eda kneels besides the teenage girl. Placing a hand in front of the mouth. Still breathing at least. Though what had caused her to turn into a heap is a good question.

Maybe it had something to do with going through the portal. Hand moving she passes by the kids forehead. Which she can now tell is radiating heat.

Fever. The kid was sick.

Which raised a whole bunch of questions that definitely weren’t going to get answered right now with her out for the count.

Probably the best thing to do was to take her to a human healer. But Eda doesn’t know anything about them. Let alone where to find one.

Well she did know how to treat an illness at least. Or at least a high fever. And as long as the kid was sick and out cold she was Eda’s responsibility. Whether she liked it or not.

First things first was to get that fever down. Eda reasoned, scooping the girl up off the floor. And then she could question Owlbert on a few things.

------------------- Eda learns the girl’s name on her second day, Luz.

Admittedly she doesn’t learn much else. Despite her work the fever still has yet to break. And Luz is in and out of sleep most of the time.

Owlbert has been even less helpful in figuring out where Luz came from. He had said he had thought she was lost in the woods. And getting caught in the rain seemed like a bad idea.

He hadn’t even realized Luz was sick at first.

Of course naturally the easiest way to find answers would be to send him scouting to see where the kid came from. However right now she wants Owlbert closer to her.

So for now the mystery remains.

At least keeping an eye on Luz is easy enough. The kid is sleeping other than when Eda shakes her awake to make sure she eats or drinks something.

Day four post arrival throws a hiccup in that Eda had never been expecting.

Eda wakes up to an empty nest.

A quick talk with Owlbert tells her that he hasn’t left but has moved down to the kitchen. Moving down herself causes an eyebrow raise though as Eda finds Luz cooking. Or trying to if the way she’s falling asleep again on her feet is any indication.

“Kid?”

Whatever Eda expects, it's not Luz about jump startling herself back awake. Followed by a string of apologies.

“Kid-”

“Luz.”

Eda wonders why the correction for a moment before pushing the question out of her mind. “Luz, take a breath for a second I’m not mad. I was just concerned to see you cooking while sick.”

“But if I don’t cook then how can I earn my place.”

“I forgot I said that.” Luz interrupts for a moment. She hadn’t realized she had said anything of that nature. But then again Eda hadn’t really seemed surprised when she had first talked about what life on Earth had been like for her.

“It’s not the only thing you said. But it was the one that started setting off alarm bells. Because-”

“No one should have to earn a spot in a family.” Luz repeats what Eda had said to her so many times now. “I know you keep reminding me.”

“And I will keep telling you as long as you need it. Since you lived with some messed up people.”

Well if that didn’t raise a whole bunch of red flags Eda isn’t sure what will. “Luz it's okay you don’t need to do that. You’re sick.”

“But-”

“No but.” Eda cuts in. “Now are you actually hungry or were you just trying to help?”

“More thirsty than hungry.”

“Okay I can work with that.” -------------------

Honestly part of Eda is starting to wonder if Luz is faking the memory loss.

Okay, not really but she was getting a bit tired of repeating herself to Luz.

The only time Luz doesn’t seem to have known where she was, was during the kitchen incident. And Eda thinks she was more on autopilot than anything else that time.

At least there hadn’t been a repeat of that she supposed.

Regardless Eda is almost at her wits end with trying to get Luz better. When a rather big surprise happens.

Luz casts a light spell.

It’s an accident. Luz still doesn’t have control over her magic. And her being sick only makes the situation worse. She’s trying to put the little ball of light out when Eda comes into the scene. Not having seen Luz casting but not being able to miss the floating ball of yellow light in the room no matter how hard Luz is trying to hide it. “Huh I don’t remember casting a light spell in here.”

Luz freezes in place. One hand still holding the light ball and staring at Eda wide-eyed. And proceeds to start panicking.

Okay, panicking over magic was definitely not something Eda thought she would ever see let alone experience. But at least she knows what to do. Grabbing Luz and pulling her in close so she can she starts taking her through the exercises she was taught. “Breathe with me. In…” Eda internally counts to 7 before talking again. “And out….”

Slowly but surely Luz’s breathing slows to a normal pace. Eda gives her a couple of minutes to collect herself before asking. “Are you feeling better?” A nod. “Alright do you think you can tell me what that was all about?”

There’s a pause before Luz shakes her head no.

Eda’s not sure where to go from there. There was some part of her that was confused. Why would someone panic over using their magic?

“You know now that-”

“That you were worried I was going to take everything the wrong way? Yeah I’m aware. But at the time kid you gotta remember I had just walked in on you panicking over a light spell. It didn’t make much sense.”

Really she needed some answers on what the heck had just happened. But she didn’t want to force them out of the kid.

“Could you at least tell me why you were panicking over a light spell?” Eda decides to try.

Luz looks up for the first time in the whole conversation. Confusion evident on her face. “A light spell?”

“Yes, a light spell.” Eda’s equally baffled but pushes it aside for a moment. She casts her own light spell as an example. “See? Just like yours.”

Except maybe not. Luz stares at Eda’s own spell with a sense of open mouthed wonder. And now Eda is left wondering if she’s ever seen anyone else use magic before.

It would maybe explain the panic attack depending on how other humans viewed magic.

“Can I touch it?”

Eda cocks her head slightly wondering why but decides it doesn’t matter. “Sure. It shouldn’t hurt you.”

The way Luz holds the ball gently in her hands cements Eda’s suspicions. “You’ve never seen anyone else cast magic before have you?”

Luz shakes her head no slowly. Some part of Eda’s heart breaks when Luz speaks her voice cracking slightly. “Everyone back on Earth just calls me a menace." If she's lucky as Eda later learns. Sometimes that's the kinder thing to be called. "I’ve tried so hard to control this but everything I do just makes it worse.”

“Magic can be difficult to control if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I know.” Luz has a distant look in her eyes for a moment. And Eda wonders what she’s remembering.

Eda’s not sure who's more surprised by her next suggestion. Her or Luz. “Would you like me to teach you how to control your magic?”

Luz stares at her for a moment. “You would be willing to do that?”

“Of course. No one should have to live in fear of something that is a part of them.”

Eda will take it to the grave that part of this is self motivated. Yes she wants to help Luz to learn to control her magic. No one should have to live in that much fear of their own self. She would know herself how hard and trying that could be.

However, a human doing actual magic is such a curiosity. She’s hoping that maybe having Luz around some more might solve how this was even possible.

Though part of her wonders if she is going to like what she finds out.

However, despite the self motivation there is some sincerity. She remembers what it was like when was freshly cursed. Being worried about turning into The Owl Beast on a moment’s notice.

That was part of the past now. However that didn’t mean she couldn’t sympathize with Luz.

“You know what that’s like?”

“Yeah but that’s a story for another time.”

No way was Eda going to explain just yet her troubled teenage years. Or her own magic based issues. That could come later. If ever.

On the bright side this does make things a bit easier. If Luz can do magic then she must have some sort of demon or witch blood in her. So a healer would be able to properly treat her. She just has to find a healer.

“And there’s not much else to say there really. You started getting better after Althea came out. And the rest is history.”

“So I basically wore you down into taking me in?”

“In a way I guess you could say that. I mean there was no one real moment I knew I was taking you in permanently. Though I guess learning you can cast magic was the catalyst. It just kind of happened. Whatever resistance I might have had left after nursing you back from a fever went away pretty quickly.”

What had started out as a strange want to help driven by a degree of curiosity. Had evolved as Luz had gotten closer to her. As Luz had gotten better and slowly started opening up to her and King. After Eda had found out the actual chain of events that had set up the two of them meeting in the first place…

Yeah, Eda had been more than willing to let Luz move in permanently rather than return to the human realm.

Sure the family thing wouldn’t come for a few more weeks. As Luz had wormed her way into her heart. But at first it was nice to have some other constant company besides King.

The continuing mystery of Luz’s ability was just part of the equation. At this point Luz was as much family as Lilith and King were.

“Thank you.”

Luz isn’t entirely sure if she’s thanking Eda or Owlbert. Since they both had a role in her finding a life and family on the Isles.

“Your welcome kid.”

#the owl house #the owl house fanfiction #luz noceda #mama eda #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #amity blight #willow park #gus porter #toh au

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marsupials-of-mars · 4 years

Text

Regicide

(A little bit of inspiration drawn from @sweetest-honeybee s Kingceit doodles)

What do you MEAN you won't?!" Deceit stood cold, frozen, immobile. He seemed to refuse to believe what they had just requested. "You can't just STOP! What about me?! About us?! What about what we had?!"

Roman attempted to avoid eye contact, but found it difficult once Remus had shoved him forward and ducked behind him.

"We just... we've been doing this so long now, and we all know it's not what anyone wants."

"Who knows that?! Who said I know that?! It IS what I want! It's what he wants!" Deceit bared his fangs as he shouted, a hiss from deep within his throat mixing with his words.

"But..." Remus peered over Roman's shoulder. "It's NOT what he want's. It's not because of you, he just doesn't want to BE anymore. He almost isn't him, and it's about to feel like an act to keep going."

"Then let him act!" Deceit gritted his teeth at his own words. They tasted sour in his mouth, but the thought of losing him for good was even worse. "I love him!"

Roman shook his head and reached out for Deceit's arm, but he quickly jerked it away. Roman sighed. "You won't love him. You loved him. But he's not gonna be the same anymore. I know it, Remus knows it, he knows it. And I know you know it. Trust us, it's less painful for everyone this way."

"Nothing could be more painful than this!" Tears sprang to Deceit's eyes. "You're KILLING him! You're MURDERING my King! And you expect me to just accept that?" The anger in his voice quickly drained until nothing was left but grief. "Please... I need him. I'm begging you, you know I don't beg..."

"I am partial to begging..." Remus met Roman's eyes and wiggled his brows.

"Cut it out! Not the time!" Roman sharply shoved his brother. Remus coughed and looked at his feet.

"Yeah sorry I uh... it's how I lighten the mood..." his voice was uncharacteristically soft and apologetic. He looked back up at Deceit. "We do care... but it hurts to be King. Like the bad kind of hurt, painful hurt. It's like trying to hold your head together as it's splitting down the middle." Remus demonstrated, a crack running down his skull and his head falling open to expose red goo and grey matter. Deceit jerked back. "But way less fun."

Roman chimed in: "Every time you see him, he's in pain. He hides it because he loves you but... it's getting unbearable. Remus and I, we're not parts of a whole in the slightest, and King can tell. We used to be the good and the bad, we could click together like puzzle pieces. But we're... rounded. And the pieces don't fit anymore."

Deceit clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. "I... undersss.. ssstand. But.. pleasss..sse... at leassss-ss-st let me ssse-sssee him one lasss-st-st time? To sssay goodbye?" His voice broke. His hiss had worsened in his hysteria, each S a struggle, slowing his sentences to a sluggish pace, but the brothers were patient. It was the absolute least they could do.

"Um..." Roman wrung his hands nervously. "I-uh... we don't... I mean..."

"Of course we will! Ain't that right Lame-miserables?" Remus elbowed Roman sharply in the ribs without breaking eye contact with Deceit. "The least we can do!"

Roman looked up at Remus. He finally noticed something he hadn't before. Unmistakable love. His smile was anxious but soft, his gaze warm and sympathetic. It wasn't quite clear what kind of love it was, but Remus cared immensely, more than Roman had seen him care for anything in a long time. It clearly changed Roman's heart, because before he could stop himself he was agreeing.

"Yeah, of course we will, we want this to be as painless as possible for everyone."

"How long do I have?" Deceit grabbed Roman's shoulders. Roman had never seen him this emotional, without his usual calm collected exterior.

"Um..." Roman looked at Remus, who shrugged. "Ten..." Remus frantically gestured to raise the number. Roman grimaced but complied. "Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes to say what you need to say."

Roman had never known exactly what Deceit and King talked about. All he retained was a feeling, a distinct lack of the fear regarding Deceit that the other lights seemed to have. When Deceit acted tough or collected, Roman couldn't quite take what he was saying at face value, could feel his more personal motivation, the feelings Deceit had about his contributions.

He was overall more quick to open himself to Deceit's side, and from that he'd realized that Deceit must talk often with King about his deeper feelings and ideas. He would only open up like that to someone he felt extremely close to. He was very secretive in general, and the act of revealing even the smallest bit of personal information seemed incredibly intimate to him. Roman wasn't quite sure what Remus experienced from King, but he always assumed it might be similar.

"And then...?" Deceit gripped Roman's sash and twisted it around white knuckles. His eyes were pleading, hopeful.

"And then we're done." Roman gently lowered Deceit's hands. "I'm sorry."

"Monthly! How about monthy?! Every other month? Yearly?" Deceit looked to Remus.

"We... will think about it." Remus's smile was strained. He couldn't operate on the spot, pinned by Deceit's desperate stare. Roman had to be the bad cop, no matter how backwards it seemed.

"NO. We won't think about it. Do you REALLY want a relationship monthly, or every other month, or yearly, where you get twenty minutes with an in pain and slowly fading shell of who you really want to be with? You need to let him go, rip off that bandaid rather than slowly peeling it off over... who knows how long you want to keep this up?"

"But Remus just said-!"

"Remus is an idiot! You're hysterical if you're hung up on what he said!" Roman took Deceit's shoulder. "Look, don't think about this now. Just enjoy your last bit with him."

Deceit slowly loosened his grip and the desperation faded, replaced now by a sort of empty acceptance. "I... okay. Let me sssee him."

Roman nodded and looked to Remus. "Ready?"

Remus fell into Roman without a second thought, eager to give Deceit closure. His tentacles wrapped Roman's waist and shoulders and Roman resisted his instinct to recoil. He leaned in and touched their foreheads together. His brother's breath smelled awful and he could feel himself getting more disgusting by the second. His final thought, before he lost himself, was how relieved he was that would never have to bare a fusion again.

King woke with a splitting headache. He rubbed his temples as he slowly opened his eyes, the light sending more piercing pain through his skull.

"King!" He looked down in time to see Deceit barrel into him with open arms, knocking him to the ground.

"Woah! You're hardly a hugger..." He rubbed Deceit's back.

"I am when you're DYING jackass!"

King winced at the volume. "Aw, cmon, I'm not dying. I'm just... not gonna be around anymore."

"That's no different!"

Deceit pushed his face into King's sash and flicked out his tongue, drawing in his scent while he still could. King was the only one who knew most of Deceit's "embarrassing" habits and reflexes, though he tried to convince Deceit that they were adorable. In turn, Deceit was the only one who knew some of King's secrets, such as;

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you Tiberinus..." Deceit spoke softly and gripped King's sash.

"You're going to be the best goddamn side in the mindscape, you're going to get your points across, you're going to open yourself up, you're going to SMILE and you're going to do anything else you damn well please because you're DECEIT and your your own wonderful amazing sexy person."

Deceit scoffed. "Yeah, I'm sure..."

King stuck him with a stern look. "You're going to SMILE. Because you have the most radiant smile and the sickest fangs i've ever seen, and it's not fair that I'm the only one who gets to see that with any regularity. It's absolutely sinister."

"I'm sinister." Deceit hissed.

"No, honestly right now you seem pretty sniffly and cuddly. And in any case sinister people still gotta smile from time to time. Look at the joker."

"Oh, the joker! What a fun and convincing comparison!" Deceit rolled his eyes.

"You get what I mean though, I don't want to be the only one you can talk to because then you'll stop talking altogether. You have so many amazing things to say, and as much as I love being your outlet, if you keep plugging everything into a single outlet your house is bound to burn down. And if you only trust that one outlet and it burns out, you'll be some idiot sitting in the dark surrounded by perfectly functional outlets upset that you can't read your book. Comprendo? "

Deceit let out a lengthy sigh. "What if my lamp can only reach one outlet?"

"Then you move the lamp. You may get some weird shadows and you might have to sit at the other end of the couch. But you'll still be able to read."

Deceit slapped King's knee in frustration. "See?! You can come up with these perfect metaphors and figure out feelings so easily. I'm not good at that."

"Patton is good at that. And Logan, and sometimes even Roman and Remus. I don't get it from nowhere. You're gonna be okay."

"Who's going to act with me?"

"Roman."

"Who's going to help me when I'm sick?"

"Patton."

"Who's going to make me laugh?"

"Remus, Roman, Logan... they're funny if you ever tried talking to them. You need to think outside your tiny me-centered box. You just have to try a little. Honestly... this might be for the best."

Deceit bolted upright. "How can you say that?! How could this possibly be for the best?! You're DYING!"

"Okay, yknow what? I'm breaking up with you."

Deceit paused. "What?"

"I'm breaking up with you. Looks like you have to move on now. And you're not going to see me anymore. Because we're broken up."

Deceit blinked. "What are you doing?"

"Look, what's harder? Your beloved dying, or never again having to see that awful ex you hate? So I hate you, and we're through."

Deceit stared a moment before breaking into laughter. King relished the last time he'd hear that laugh.

"Fuck you!" Deceit shoved his shoulder.

"That's the spirit! I hate your guts!"

"Go to hell!"

"See you there!"

"I hope I do so I can kill you again!"

"You gotta kill me first you coward!"

Deceit fell into King's arms in fits of laughter.

"God I'm gonna miss you Tiber...I dunno if-"

"Nah. Not allowed. Chin up, Scales. You got this."

King suddenly felt a dampness on his chest. Deceit shook with sobs, gripping King's waist until it was almost painful. He placed a hand on Deceit's trembling back and trailed his fingers down his spine, softly, slowly, as he got it all out.

"Shhh... yeah, I know..." He wiped Deceit's wet cheek with his thumb.

"I don't want you to go... I know you think I can handle it, and I probably can I just... I still don't want you to leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I keep saying, it's not like I'm dying. I'll still be with you, and not even in a cheesy spiritual way, all that makes me up is still inside Roman and Remus. I know it doesn't seem like me, and I know it's way different from talking to me, but I'll always be there. I'll know what you're up to and I'll be watching. In the creepiest way possible. So you'd better not mope around once I'm out of here because I see all."

"Comforting..." Though it was sarcastic, King could tell that he'd managed to calm Deceit a good amount. His head ached from being together so long. He looked up at the clock on the wall.

"Twenty minutes. Looks like it's time to- Ow! Shut up! We agreed- You're disgusting!" He gripped his head. Deceit looked up at him anxiously.

"Tiber? What's going on?"

"Ah, just... bickering." King forced a smile. "Twenty minutes is up and they really want to split."

"Oh." Deceit took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. "About that... does it really hurt you? Have you been hurting? And keeping that from me? I would have wanted you to tell me... this might have been less unexpected."

"Oh so you're the only one who gets to keep secrets?" Deceit pulled back at the jab and King felt immediately guilty.

"Sorry, I'm just... headache. I wanted to hold it together. I wasn't planning this, I thought I could handle it. Because I love you, and I didnt want to do this to you. But I finally realized that it would be unfair to both of us if I ended up something that... wasn't me. I know it was selfish...I had some warning, I helped make the choice, so I got a head start on the mourning. But you only get... twenty minutes..." King hissed at the sharp pain in his skull. Deceit studied his face.

"Honestly... truly and honestly... I wouldn't have wanted you to tell me sooner. That would have just prolonged the inevitable. I wouldn't have been able to enjoy what I did have with you without worrying that everything we were dojng would be for the last time. And there's no use being mad anyway, I've lost any time I would have had to teach you any lessons."

"Eh, I don't learn anyways. uGH SHUT UP!" King covered his mouth and squeezed his eyes tightly shut to ward off his headache. "Sorry... I need to go."

"I know." Deceit helped King to his feet and wrapped his arms around his waist. He stared a moment. "Know that every second I spent with you makes up for this moment."

"You sappy snake..." King leaned his forehead against the top of Deceit's head. "One more for the road?"

"Like I'd let you go without it."

King tipped Deceit's chin up with a knuckle. He savored his last look into his lover's eyes, one a radiant yellow and the other a warm honey brown. He tried to burn the image into his mind, wherever it would end up. Only once he was convinced that he had it did he lean down to meet Deceit's lips with his own.

For that moment, he forgot about the pain, and he could ignore the taste of salt on both their lips. It was bliss, the kind he would never have again, the kind that was so perfect that he didn't need to.

He felt his body begin to warm, then a buzzing, a tingling throughout his skin. His headache built to a dull pulse. He pulled Deceit tighter, for what he could tell was his final second.

And then he was gone.

Roman woke with tears on his face and a rapidly beating heart. He looked up, first at Remus, who was no better off then he was, then to Deceit.

He was trembling, fingers poised over his lips as though he were afraid to touch them directly. His eyes were vacant and upturned, as if he hadn't quite noticed that whatever he'd been looking at had since left his line of sight.

Roman debated, for a moment, whether to speak or to leave him to his own thoughts. After weighing his options, he decided on the latter. He looked to Remus, who had already lunged forward to wrap Deceit in a hug, and had been returned with a shaky hand slowly closed onto his back.

Roman gulped and made his way over. He let his knuckles brush Deceit's as a gentle invitation. Deceit quickly accepted, intertwining their fingers and squeezing tightly.

"Can you feel him?" Deceit's voice was nearly inaudible. "Is he there?"

Roman stared at Deceit's soft profile. A warmth grew in his chest, a feeling that could have been his, but not quite. And it was clear.

"Yes. And he loves you a whole lot."

A ghost of a smile pulled at Deceit's lips.

"I know."

#deceit sanders #king creativity #sanders sides #thomas sanders #creatwins #angst

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cinemavariety · 4 years

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Cinema Variety’s Top 25 Favorite Films of the Decade

This past decade has been a monumental ten years for the state of cinema. To think that there were actually still video rental stores all around the country, to almost becoming nonexistent, is statement enough to show how vastly audiences have changed the way they consume media. Through much thought and careful deliberation, the following 25 films are my personal favorites of the decade and are what I think best represent all that indie, international and arthouse cinema had to offer over the past ten years. Honorable Mentions: Shame Green Room A Ghost Story The Lost City of Z Knight of Cups 20th Century Women Jackie Blade Runner 2049 The Lighthouse Ingrid Goes West A Hidden Life

#25 - Suspiria (2018) Dir. Luca Guadagnino

“It’s only hours afterward that Guadagnino’s film will cohere for you and yield its buried treasures: the bonds of secret sorority, the strength of a line of dancers moving like a single organism, the present rippling with the muscle memory of the past. It’s so good, it’s scary.”

#24 - Call Me By Your Name (2017) Dir. Luca Guadagnino

“The final beats of Guadagnino’s adaptation galvanize two hours of simmering uncertainty into a gut-wrenchingly wistful portrait of two people trying to find themselves before it’s too late.”

#23 - American Honey (2016) Dir. Andrea Arnold

“Part dreamy millennial picaresque, part distorted tapestry of Americana and part exquisitely illustrated iTunes musical, “Honey” daringly commits only to the loosest of narratives across its luxurious 162-minute running time. Yet it’s constantly, engrossingly active, spinning and sparking and exploding in cycles like a Fourth of July Catherine wheel.”

#22 - Post Tenebras Lux (2013) Dir. Carlos Reygadas

“Some metaphors score and some miss, but this is leap-of-faith cinema: the rewards entail some risks.”

#21 - The Revenant (2015) Dir. Alejandro G. Iñárritu

“Pushing both brutal realism and extravagant visual poetry to the edges of what one customarily finds in mainstream American filmmaking, director/co-writer Alejandro G. Inarritu, cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki and a vast team of visual effects wizards have created a sensationally vivid and visceral portrait of human endurance under very nearly intolerable conditions.”

#20 - Her (2013) Dir. Spike Jonze

“What begins like an arrested adolescent dream soon blossoms into Jonze’s richest and most emotionally mature work to date, burrowing deep into the give and take of relationships, the dawning of middle-aged ennui, and that eternal dilemma shared by both man and machine: the struggle to know one’s own true self.”

#19 - Annihilation (2018) Dir. Alex Garland

“A shimmering example of what Hollywood sci-fi can achieve when the aim is high, Annihilation is a gripping, mystifying adventure and proof that a transportive experience is more rewarding than a story with clean-cut resolutions.”

#18 - The Neon Demon (2016) Dir. Nicolas Winding Refn

“Spectacular, gross and delicious (so unsavory it’s almost sweet), the film is more proof of Refn’s mastery of his trash aesthetic and more fun than anything this indulgent and empty-headed has any right to be.”

#17 - Waves (2019) DIr. Trey Edward Shults

“Propelled by color, energy, electronic music and a quartet of career-making performances, here is that rare sort of cinematic achievement that innovates at every turn, while teaching audiences how to make intuitive sense of the way it pushes the medium.”

#16 - Mother! (2017) Dir. Darren Aronofsky

“Mother! is something truly magnificent, the kind of visceral trash-arthouse experience that comes along very rarely, means as much or as little as you decide it does, and spits you out into the daylight dazzled, queasy, delirious, and knock-kneed as a newborn calf.”

#15 - Melancholia (2011) Dir. Lars Von Trier

“The vision is as hateful as it is hate-filled, but the fusion of form and content is so perfect that it borders on the sublime. Melancholia is a remarkable mood piece with visuals to die for (excuse the pun), and a performance from Dunst that runs the color spectrum of emotions.”

#14 - Song to Song (2017) Dir. Terrence Malick

“Any number of sequences find feelings both externalized and hidden intermingling within the same shot, continuing in a subsequent image that carries the impression, the feeling, without replicating the exact tenor of what has just been seen. They exist simultaneously as certain backstories and what motivations they may inspire delicately unfold. Malick has found a way to translate how a familiar song has the ability to transport you back to a particular time and conjure a specific set of emotions. Whatever he’s been exploring over the past few years pays off here.”

#13 - If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) Dir. Barry Jenkins

“What Jenkins gets most right—what astonishes me the most about this film—is Baldwin’s vast affection for the broad varieties of black life. It’s one of the signature lessons of Baldwin’s work that blackness contains multitudes. In some ways Beale feels less like a movie than a well-staged, meticulously shot play; a period piece that floats beyond its specific time and place and into the realm of allegory.”

#12 - Samsara (2012) Dir. Ron Fricke

“Simply put, Samsara tells the story of our world, but onscreen, it is so much more than that. A darker and more ambitious meditation on impermanence, Samsara relies on blunt force and unforgettable imagery, overcoming the hazy logic of Fricke's editing to earn your awe.”

#11 - It’s Such a Beautiful Day (2012) Dir. Don Hertzfeldt

“A highly original and utterly enthralling film that touches on staggeringly expansive themes - more typically expected in the work of master auteur and persistent award-winner Terrence Malick, than from animations. An existential flipbook and a heartbreaking black joke: stickmen have never looked so alive.”

#10 - Upstream Color (2013) Dir. Shane Carruth

“You may not be able to figure it out, but that's part of the point of this sensually-directed, sensory-laden experiential (and experimental) piece of art that washes over you like a sonorous bath of beguiling visuals, ambient sounds and corporeal textures.”

#9 - Hereditary (2018) Dir. Ari Aster

“It’s a supremely effective gauntlet of supernatural horror that’s also, at blackened heart, a grueling domestic drama about how trauma, resentment, and guilt can seep into the roots of a family tree, rotting it from the inside out.”

#8 - Spring Breakers (2013) Dir. Harmony Korine

“Spring Breakers seems to be holding a funhouse mirror up to the face of youth-driven pop culture, leaving us uncertain whether to laugh, recoil in horror, or marvel at its strange beauty. Full credit to Korine, who sustains this act of creative vandalism right through to the finish. Spring Breakers unfolds as a fever dream of teenage kicks, a high-concept heist movie with mescal in the fuel tank.”

#7 - The Master (2012) Dir. Paul Thomas Anderson

“Two things stand out: the extraordinary command of cinematic technique, which alone is nearly enough to keep a connoisseur on the edge of his seat the entire time, and the tremendous portrayals by Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman of two entirely antithetical men. Written, directed, acted, shot, edited and scored with a bracing vibrancy that restores your faith in film as an art form, The Master is nirvana for movie lovers. Anderson mixes sounds and images into a dark, dazzling music that is all his own.”

#6 - Interstellar (2014) Dir. Christopher Nolan

“It’s a bold, beautiful cosmic adventure story with a touch of the surreal and the dreamlike, and yet it always feels grounded in its own deadly serious reality. An exhilarating slalom through the wormholes of Christopher Nolan’s vast imagination that is at once a science-geek fever dream and a formidable consideration of what makes us human.”

#5 - The Place Beyond the Pines (2013) Dir. Derek Cianfrance

“A brilliant, towering picture, The Place Beyond The Pines is a cinematic accomplishment of extraordinary grace and insight. The movie succeeds both as a high-stakes crime thriller as well as a far quieter and empathetic study of angry, solitary men proves that Cianfrance has a penchant for bold storytelling and an eye for performances to carry it through.”

#4 - Black Swan (2010) Dir. Darren Aronofsky

“A full-bore melodrama, told with passionate intensity, gloriously and darkly absurd. It centers on a performance by Natalie Portman that is nothing short of heroic. This is, no doubt about it, a tour de force, a work that fully lives up to its director's ambitions.”

#3 - Drive (2011) Dir. Nicolas Winding Refn

“From the beginning, it's clear this is not a standard-order action film. It takes its characters as seriously as its chases, shootouts, and fights. Drive dynamically merges a terrific film noir plot with a cool retro look. It's an unapologetically commercial picture that defies all the current trends in mainstream action filmmaking.”

#2 - Blue Valentine (2010) Dir. Derek Cianfrance

“Cianfrance and his actors, Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling, have not made a cold or schematic film. They aim instead for raw emotional experience, one that's full of insight into the ways a relationship can go astray, but mostly feels like a slow-motion punch to the gut.”

#1 - The Tree of Life (2011) Dir. Terrence Malick

"The Tree of Life is a film of vast ambition and deep humility, attempting no less than to encompass all of existence and view it through the prism of a few infinitesimal lives. I wrote earlier about the many ways this film evoked my own memories of such time and place. About wide lawns. About a town that somehow, in memory, is always seen with a wide-angle lens. About houses that are never locked. About mothers looking out windows to check on their children. About the summer heat and ennui of church services, and the unpredictable theater of the dinner table, and the troubling sounds of an argument between parents, half-heard through an open window.”

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su-nlt · 5 years

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Things Confirmed In Steven Universe: The Movie

New Gems: Spinel, unnamed uncorrupted gems

New Fusions: Steg, Alexandrite (new form) Opal (new form)

New Objects: Giant Injector Drill, Bio Poison, Rejuvinators

New Locations: Pinks Garden

New Songs: https://su-nlt.tumblr.com/post/187175460886/su-movie-soundtrack-list-revealed

Also this turned out to be like 4 pages long, so I inserted a read more link for everyone's convenience. Click to read more!

The opening of the movie mimics that of a classic Disney movie

It has been two years since the events of Change Your Mind, and, in accordance with his mental state, Steven has aged to look like a 16 year-old, as well as received a new outfit

Aside from the opening flashback, Jasper does not appear in the movie. Most sightings have just been of other Jaspers

This is the first movie in the series

The movie contains a total of 38 songs

WD wrote a book about Stevens adventure

PDs legs are back on Homeworld

Other Heaven and Earth Beetle gems can be seen on the beach planet

The Zircons are alive and free (they can be seen in a crowd shot on a green planet)

Spinel can been seen in one of the locations during Stevens broadcast

The Diamonds have allotted airtime

The Diamonds have disbanded their armies, liberated their colonies, refrained from shattering, and have practices better manners. Blue has also stopped using her crying power

The Diamonds have gotten better at showing affection

While recognizing Steven as his own person, the Diamonds still fawn over him like Pink

A warp from Earth to Homeworld has been established

Stevens new house has several new features, including

-a warp pad within a greenhouse and Gem computer

-Flags representing Earth and Homeworld

-An actual second floor (Stevens room used to just be a loft)

-a balcony attached to stevens bedroom

- A Lonely Blade poster, The Painting of Garnet and Steven, the MoonGoddess statue, the Space Train to the Cosmos CD, the KEEP box from Greg’s storage, a photo of the main CGs, the picture of Greg and Rose, a new game system, a glass of Pine Needle tea, a crystal gem logo, another picture of Connie, the Stephen mug, Steven’s old red shirt, and a few photos of the Temple have all been added to Stevens room

-The picture of Rose was moved from on top of the door to the side of the stairs

-A dining room table

-Centipeedle’s drawing hangs on Stevens fridge

- Roses broken sword is on display

-More planets and pictures

Steven uses his bubble to go down stairs

Connie and Steven are now in a relationship

Connie is interested in a space-related career

Cat Steven is now fully grown

Pearl is learning how to play the bass guitar

The chest in Lion’s mane is open

Lars now cooks for others

Lars hair has grown a bit

The Off-Colors are now on Earth

There's a bubble with a slice of cake in the temple

Bubbles can preserve food

In place of the barn, a community known as “Little Homeworld” has been made, as a place for the uncorrupted gems to live

Little Homeworld is 83% complete

Warp pads can be moved around

Amethyst and Steven have made up a handshake

Steven is no longer the shortest in the main squad

This is our first time seeing ‘original’ Amethyst

Amethyst didn't have a Diamond insignia when she first emerged

Amethysts size was not the only thing different about her when she first emerged. He limbs where segmented, her hair short, her outfit simplistic, and her intellect stunted

Amethyst considers the Uncorrupted gems and New Crystal Gems part of her family

Steven now runs in front of the group

A small house has been added to the lighthouse

Spinel (Pronounce SPIN-el) are made to be entertainers (ie. Best Friends)

Spinel’s design and animation appear to be inspired by a style over animation known as Rubberhose (popular in the 1920s-1940s) She also appears to inspired particularly by the characters of Mickey Mouse (original Spinel) and Oswald the Rabbit (Evil Spinel) judging by her buns/pigtails (How they are both always showing no matter the angle)

Spinel and Pearl know each other

Garnet's Gauntlets have her wedding rings on them

Spinels theme is electro-swing

Spinels can store objects in their gems

Spinels power is enhanced shape-shifting (which include the power to turn into a spinning top and turning her hands into giant fists)

The black lines on Spinels face resemble running mascara

Giant injectors exist, have Heart-Shaped gems at the top of them, and can fly

There hasn't been much combat since the events of CYM

Spinels gem cut is perfect

Spinels come in other colors

Spinel can move her eyes in different directions

Spinels squeak when they move

Items in gems gems stay with them after rejuvenation

In terms of ‘threat to Steven’ Lapis is still considered on the fence

Peridot doesn't know what rejuvenators are, implying that they don't exist/ aren't used in Era 2+

Blue Garnet’s outfit in the “Isn't it Love?” song sequence implies Sapphire is barefoot under her dress

Potent Biochemicals exist, which destroy organic life and organic materials, but does not affect gems

Rejuvenators , which are shaped like synths, can poof and ‘reset’ a gems memory, and were used to ‘correct’ gems how stepped out of line. However, the process can be somewhat easily reversed by unlocking a gems memory.

Judging by the title of her song (system/BOOT.pearl_final(3).Info ) this is the third time Pearl has been rebooted

Pearls are given a customization option whenever they first form, any are loyal to whoever activates the menu

The memories of Fusions are also reset when their components are reset

While Steven organic half is unaffected by the Rejuvenator, his gem was reset, causing his powers to be reset

The ability to access Lion's mane is a power exclusive to Steven, and is considered to be his easiest power

Spinel has abandonment issues

The Heaven and Earth Beetles engage in afternoon constitutionals

Until she learns ‘the truth’, every one of original Garnet’s lines in the movie is a question

The Uncorrupted gems wander around Beach City

Spinel does eat

Vidalia has made more Amethyst painting

Ronaldo's phone PIN is 989675979

The moment where Amethyst and Steven cheat as speed ball is a reference to the episode ‘Arcade Mania’

The moment where Steven pulls Amethyst out her hole in the Alpha Kindergarten is a reference the episode ‘On The Run’, where Pearl pulls Amethyst out of the Hole

Giant injectors are considered unstable, and are controlled through sound

The Warehouse is both a concert venue and safe house

Greg stores Sadie Killer shirts in his Storage Unit

Sadie Killer and the Suspect have gotten popular

Mike Krol (who guest starred in the episode ‘Last One Out of Beach City’) provided the bass, guitar, and drums for the song ‘Disobedient’

The majority of Uncorrupted gems are Quartzes

Amethyst considered Rose the love of Pearls life

Greg being uncomfortable about Amethyst shapeshifting into Rose is a reference to the episode ‘Maximum Capacity’

The moment where Garnet see ‘Rose’ at the concert is a reference to the episode ‘The Answer’

Pearl was metaphorically and literally freed when Rose left (Cant follow orders when the person who gives you them are gone)

Steven and Greg can fuse to form Steg

Stegs weapons include Stevens Shield, a dual Guitar, and his powers include levitation and the power to create shock waves

Pink had a garden on an asteroid, where she would play with Spinel

Pink used to be lonely on Homeworld

Earth was given to Pink by Yellow and Blue, but not White

Spinel used to entertain Pink as her ‘best friend’, but, without Spinel noticing, Pink grew bored with Spinel, and Pink eventually abandoned her in her Garden for 6,000 years

Spinel was left next to a patch of ‘Forget-Me-Nots’, a type of blue, white, and yellow flower

Other gem types can turn their gems

Steven is no longer surprised by Pinks actions

Gems can make their new forms somewhat taller or shorter

The shot of Connie sliding into Stevens house on Lion is a reference to the motorcycle slide from the movie ‘Akira’

Greg doesn't always wash his hands after using the bathroom

The Pizza Car has been dissolved

Alexandrite, Opal, a Bismuth all have new forms

This is the first time dripping blood has been shown in the show

The Rejuvenator has been busted

Gems can make physical objects part of their gem forms (ie. Garnets wedding rings)

The citizens of Beach City and the uncorrupted gems get along well

Connie's Sword can cut through metal

Steven believes he has changed in the last few years

Steven can summon multiple shields, change the shape of his bubble, use his bubble to create shock waves,form tiny bubbles around his fists, and fully levitate

Steve can make blood disappear with his healing powers

The gem at the top of injectors are their power source

Steven realizes that no matter what, his work will never be finished

Steven can regrow plants with his healing powers

Garnet says staying hydrated is important while smooching

Spinel is trying again at friendship, but believes she's already messed up too badly with Steven and the gang

The Diamonds were willing to move to Earth to spend more time with Steven

The Diamonds consider Homeworld boring without Steven

Yellow finds Spinel funny

The reprise of ‘Come Live With Us’ is a combination of the songs ‘Come Live With Us’ and ‘Found’

The Diamonds consider Earth disgusting

The shot of the Diamonds extending their hands to Spinel is a callback to the episode ‘Your Mother and Mine’ (when the Diamonds launched their final attack on Earth)

Spinel now lives with the Diamonds in place of Pink/Steven

The song ‘Finale’ is a reprise of the songs ‘Happily Ever After’ and ‘Change’

Beach City has been rebuilt since the events of the movie, but the cliff has a few new dents in it, and their are now large ravines under the city

Steven no longer has his pink jacket (or at least, he’ll have to get a new one)

Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Greg,and Connie put on a …...Broadway Musical? (Still not entirely sure if that canonical)

#steven universe #su movie #su movie spoilers #things confirmed in #sunlt

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eabhaalynn · 4 years

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Punisher and Why it is my Album of the Year... Already

Every few years, we come across a singer-songwriter who is so devastatingly assured in their talent that they come to be generation defining. Their songs are synonymous with the era they’re written in, with the themes they discuss. Names like Bob Dylan, Stevie Nicks, and Amy Winehouse come to mind. This weeks’ release of “Punisher,” the sophomore album by Californian indie-rock icon Phoebe Bridgers has solidified her name on that list.

From her first note of her first album ‘Stranger in the Alps’ in 2017, we could see -or perhaps more fittingly, hear- that Phoebe is a force to be reckoned with. Her distinctive, haunting vocals from that album have made the soundtrack to many summers since, and many films to match. ‘Motion Sickness’details the emotional abuse of a relationship the then twenty-two-year-old musician had with Ryan Adams, an established voice in the alternative rock scene. In the years since, numerous allegations of sexual misconduct against Adams have come to the public’s attention. This only further points to the bravery of Bridgers’ in writing and releasing such a poignant track so early on in her career.

Thematically, Stranger in the Alps touches on death, depression, emotional abuse and heartbreak, without ever verging into the cringe or the cliché. Bridgers’ raw, honest vocals and song-writing skill make it a strangely comforting experience to listen to, and an album that is as melodically beautiful as it is lyrically heart wrenching. You would be forgiven for thinking that it’d be too impossible an act to follow, especially for an artist so early on in her career.

“The future’s unwritten, the past is a corridor.” – Smoke Signals, 2017

Ms Bridgers swiftly followed her solo debut with 2018’s Boygenius and 2019’s Better Oblivion Community Center. The former, a collaboration with Julian Baker and Lucy Dacus, played into the strengths of all three musicians, resulting in a fusion of indie-rock and folk-rock, and giving Phoebe ample opportunity to release more of the distinctive poetic lyricism that have become synonymous with her name. The blend of the three genres and voices is a beautiful and haunting EP that has aged with Ms Bridgers and become a defining moment for her career.

The latter, Better Oblivion Community Center, is a duo consisting of Phoebe and long-term friend and collaborator Conor Oberst. Their self-titled debut album loosely is themed around a dystopian wellness centre of the same name. The record is coherent, creative and once again plays to the strengths of both musicians, their voices complement each other beautifully, despite or perhaps because of the contrast in their styles. The album is undoubtably a feat of production, and plays into elements of electronic and country music, for the first, though evidently not the last time in Phoebe’s discography.

“So sick of being honest / I’ll die like Dylan Thomas” – Dylan Thomas, 2019

Which brings us swiftly on to 2020, the year of COVID, contradictions and confusion for all of us. Punisher, Phoebe Bridgers’ sophomore album was released on June 18th, at the perfect intersection of lockdowns lift and the beginning of summer. The release itself coincided with a time of social upheaval across the US and further afield, prompting Bridgers to move the official release date a day forward from ‘Juneteenth’, the official end of slavery in the US. Across her social media profiles, she prompted her fans to donate to organisations seeking racial justice.

"I'm not [delaying] the record until things go back to 'normal' because I don't think they should,” – https://twitter.com/phoebe_bridgers

The album opens with the instrumental track, ‘DVD Menu,’a seventy-second long, vaguely ominous string-led instrumental reminiscent of the video-game themes the artist would’ve grown up with in the early 2000s. It provides the perfect anticipatory build up into lead-single ‘Garden Song,’ a prospective looking, dreamy love song. Initially released on February 26th, 2020; Garden Song acts somewhat as a sequel to Stranger in the Alps’ Smoke Signals. It follows thematically, melodically, and continues Phoebes’ established lyrical poeticism. Like Smoke Signals, Garden Song is slow, but enthralling. The melody makes you want to listen, the lyrics make you want to fall in love.

Following on from this is second single, and third song, ‘Kyoto,’ in sharp contrast to the slow, strong self-awareness of the earlier songs, Kyoto presents a whirlwind of emotions, an aural dissociation of sorts. Kyoto is fast-paced, guitar led, and even difficult to follow. Almost anxiety-inducing, Kyoto is an exciting accomplishment of alt-pop. Phoebe’s strong descriptive lyrics manage to change themes between and even within verses, suggesting a struggle between her inner and her outer self, and how this same struggle bleeds into her relationships with others.

In musical circles, a ‘Punisher,’ is a name for an overzealous fan. The titular track of the album places Phoebe herself in this role. The song imagines a conversation between Phoebe and an artist she clearly admires very much. It is the first piano-led track of the album; and marks a contrast with the prior songs as she is able to outwardly express her emotion and feelings in the song’s narrative for the first time. While this is essentially a song to a stranger, it is marked with Phoebe’s distinctive emotional lyrics and vocal; and retains the same charge of emotional attachment that has become so characteristic of her discography.

Following this is ‘Halloween,’ a song that plunges us immediately into Phoebe’s narrative and lived situation. Utilising picking on guitar strings to produce the holiday season of the song’s setting sonically, Ms Bridgers takes us into her loveless relationship just in time for ‘cuffing season,’ and the all too familiar feeling of holding on to something that isn’t there, just because of the time of year. The melancholy is only furthered by the repetition in the song’s latter half by Conor Oberst, collaborator and Better Oblivion Community Centrebandmate.

Fan-favourite, and a personal favourite of mine, ‘Chinese Satellite,’ reflects on loss, and grief. Musically, it builds, starting slowly with a single guitar line and Phoebe’s vocals. By the end of the first verse, both the guitars and vocals have been layered, producing a haunting effect only furthered by the synth and drums of the latter half of the song.

Lyrically, Phoebe starts out questioning her circumstances, wondering why this unnamed event has occurred. She later turns this uncertainty onto herself, questioning her own lack of faith. Finally, she remembers memories of herself with the person who has been lost, and in retrospect, she yearns for the belief that she will see them again. This yearning that closes the song is accompanied by a drum, once again paired only with her voice, that is sonically reminiscent of a heartbeat. Chinese Satellite has provided a great comfort to me personally in a time of great loss, and while I know I am calling it extremely early I do not doubt it is my song of the year.

“Moon Song” follows, and it is a love song to someone facing issues with their own self-esteem. With beautifully raw production, the tough scratch of an acoustic guitar provides contrast to the soft and kind vocals. The song provides some of the best lyrics of the album, or perhaps of her entire discography, and in doing so, manage to make a fairly specific story of love through mental illness and self-deprecation accessible to Ms Bridgers’ broad audience.

‘We hate ‘Tears in Heaven’ / But it’s sad his baby died’ – Moon Song, 2020

This theme of a somewhat doomed relationship continues into ‘Savio[u]r Complex,’in this similarly acoustic ballad, orchestral strings pitched above Phoebe’s voice play further into the melancholy and toxicity described throughout the songs’ lyrics. Her use of metaphor and allegory throughout the song helps retain the accessibility of the otherwise characteristically dark lyrics, her strong descriptions throughout playing into the same emotions of Stranger in the Alps’ ‘Funeral.’

‘ICU’ initially released as ‘I See You’ due to the timing of the COVID crisis, was the final single released before the album, on May 19th,2020. It is a typically Phoebe Bridgers’ breakup song, one that acknowledges the love that she’s losing. Starting with a soft scream, literally, the songs’ vocals are raw over a distorted synth background. Sonically, the song is a mesh of all of the components of the songs preceding it, building to a climax before dropping out just in time for the final verse. This is, in my opinion, the best single, and one of her best to date.

Penultimate song ‘Graceland Too’ swings the album in a bluegrass direction, and in doing so, provides an ode to the influences Bridgers has taken from the genre. Its title references Elvis Presley’s ranch and tourist attraction of the same name. The song features her Boygenius bandmates in its latter half, resulting in an admirable melody not dissimilar to their EP.

The album closes with ‘I Know the End,’ an anthemic ballad that falls just short of six-minutes long. It begins telling different stories, centring around episodes of low-mood and depression, the causes of which are implied consistently to be related to the stresses of touring and the musician’s lifestyle. These stories are told over a guitar-led melody, initially pitched to be much quieter than the vocals. A feat of production, the messy string melody gains traction as the song progresses, building over the first half of the song in pitch, volume and number of instruments. Around the two-minute mark, the song is split by an instrumental, and when vocals return, they bring with them an increasing sense of urgency. The latter half of the song details a road trip Phoebe takes and pays heed to the sights and sounds she encounters throughout.

The song, and thus the album, concludes with a chorus of vocals repeating ‘The End is Near,’ over a chaotic melody of all sorts of instruments and assorted sounds, before descending into shouts and screams from Phoebe and friends in the last number of seconds.

I don’t even believe I need to clarify this, but just in case you have any doubt, this album is my favourite of the year so far. 10/10

#Phoebe Bridgers #punisher #stranger in the alps #boygenius #better oblivion community center #indie pop #indie #music #music review

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pokimoko · 5 years

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STEVEN UNIVERSE: THE MOVIE - Personal Commentary

I wrote this to send to a friend, but I decided I might as well post it on here. I did a large portion of this while I was watching the movie, but I did go back and improve on some parts after I was finished, so forgive the inconsistent tenses. I apologise for the length as well, which is a result of me getting completely carried away and analysing a lot of the movie (I bet my English teachers are cheering). Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy my personal thoughts on the Steven Universe movie. (Also, spoilers if you haven’t already watched it.)

- The opening....wow. Not only is it pretty but it's just so dramatic. It reminds me quite a bit of old fashioned Disney musicals (I’m guessing that was their intention). Even the layout of the credits are giving me that vibe. But especially the music. Very fairytale-esque.

- 16 year old Steven, yeah booiii! Now he’s only a few years younger than me. I do like his older voice and design. Bet Zach Callison is relieved that he doesn't have to pitch his voice up high anymore. And I personally really love the pan flag colour scheme of his new outfit. I wonder if they’ll keep it for the season(s) following the movie.

- Aww, the Diamonds are learning. Sort of. They’re maybe just a tad clingy, but that's still improvement. I really love how Steven Universe never makes the 'villians' completely evil, only misguided, and that everyone is capable of changing their ways. Such a great message. (Edit: Ooohh, I unintentionally called what I'd say is the moral of the movie. Noice.)

- Naaww, Steven and Connie are so cute. Steven's happy little grin after the kiss was just adorable.

- Oooh, I like the 'Here We Are in the Future' (Edit: 'Happily Ever After') song. It just shows how much they've all grown over the course of the series. And it’s a great way to recap the journeys of each of the original Crystal Gems to the audience.

- "PEW PEW" Yeesss. I love their handshake. And oh my god, he really is so tall compared to Amethyst now.

- Oh my god, they're reenacting the running sequence from the opening. Love me a parallel. Just shows how far they’ve all come.

-Okay, why do the 'bad' guys in musicals always get such cool songs? Spinel's song was so catchy. Now I'm super curious about her relation to Pink Diamond. Oh cool! A scythe. That's awesome.....AH! Okay, nevermind. Nooo.

- 'Losing your powers' angst. I love it (yes, I know, I'm terrible).

- Greg: "Holy shhhhhheee really got everybody" Me: 😏 I see what you did there.

- Steven: "I have no idea what's going on." Greg: "Well now you know how I feel most of the time." Greg is so relatable sometimes. Kindly stop being my spirit animal, sir.

- AHHH! They've all been reset. Craaappp! And I was just going on about growth and everything! But I'm excited to see what happens because I love angst, god damn it. It always helps to make the happy ending all the more satisfying. (And...admittedly, the amnesia narrative device has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. I’ve always enjoyed how it allows you to so clearly see how a character has evolved over time and how much their experiences have defined their identity.)

- "Something is clearly wrong," Pearl sings happily and bug-eyed. Excellent and relatable. That's how I react to most things in life, honestly.

- "I could have lost all of my character development." Ha! Never subtle, are you Peridot? But also nooooo, not Peridot. Don't you dare touch her. She's grown so much and I love her dearly (and also Lapis' top notch dark humour. Perfect.)

- Sad song reprise is sad. I totally understand what Steven is feeling too. Things you’ve gotten so used to (hell, maybe even become dependent on for your emotional welbeing) can disappear so quickly that it can be quite a whiplash to have it gone, so it's completely normal to struggle to accept it, and to yearn for what you had not so long ago.

- Bismuth saying “We are the Crystal Gems” has watered my crops and cleared my skin. And I love her singing voice; the roughness in some parts suits her character so well.

- Rupphire Rupphire RUPPHIRE GAAAARRRNNNEEETTT, yiissss! Wow the fusion animation is really awesome. It's like a behind-the-scenes on how it works from their perspective. But I love how the two of them fusing together doesn't fix Garnet's memories or make her exactly how she was before losing them. Garnet isn't just an experience; she's also a product of her experiences.

- Lil' trumpet salute! Naww, Pearl, that's adorable.

- ....is Onion....immortal? He still looks exactly the same. 😟 I'm unnerved by that child and whatever power he had.

- Oooh, tap dancing. I love tap dancing! Even if Steven is wearing sandals while doing it. Oh boy, I love the friendship between Amethyst and Steven. It's always been one of my favourite things in the show. It's kind of like the sibling interaction I've always wished to have myself: supportive and wholesome. And I also love how their fusion shows that platonic and familial love is just as powerful as romantic love. Oh, YAY Amethyst is back! Like I said, friendship is a powerful thing.

- Oh my god, Steven and Greg are going to fuse. Ahhhh! Oh wow, it's basically Elvis with a six pack! Hehehe, so weird. But not bad either. And, oh wow, what a great song! Individuality is my kink.

- The ANGST is making me feel emotions. Steven looks so ragged, and the high pitched whining in his ears definitely added to that. And having felt that terrible myself a few times, I know how much it frigging sucks. And just like him I brushed other people's concerns off, so I'd be a hypocrite to tell him to take care of himself. (But I am a hypocrite. Take care of yourself, Steven!)

- Yep, here's the tragic backstory to make me sad about Spinel. Hit me where it hurts why don't you. Gosh, Pink Diamond really did some messed up things when she was younger (but thankfully she evolved from that and changed to become Steven). Leaving someone behind without giving them closure or even a reason would mess someone up for sure. You'd feel completely worthless. And unfortunately, being noticed for any reason⁠—good or bad⁠—is generally a way to cope with that feeling. Spinel is doing what she can to deal with what Pink did to her, and that unfortunately involves lashing out and hurting others.

- The 'True Kinda Love' song! Knew it'd turn up at one point. Knowing the context makes it so much better too. And hell yeah, Garnet is back!

- Blood? On this Christian Server? It's more likely than you think.

- “This is the story of my life.” Ahh! Steven's just a kid, and he's gone through so much. But, I gotta say, he is absolute proof that having a rough childhood and being a flawed person in the past (*cough* Pink Diamond *cough*) doesn't condemn you to being a wicked person forever. Anyone, regardless of their circumstances and experiences, can be a good person. Your early years don't define your identity or what will become of your future.

- Spinel: “When you change, you change for the better. When I change, I change for the worse. I used to be just not good, just not good enough for Pink. Now I'm not good at all!” Damn. That's powerful. Trauma can be such a difficult thing to overcome, and some people lose their way in their attempt to leave it behind. Sometimes, though, growing doesn't mean changing yourself and erasing the past; sometimes it means accepting the parts of your past that made you who you are now. Showing the importance of past experiences through the Crystal Gem's recovery of their identities is such a smart way of showing this concept to the audience. Such a great analogy. Now, let's hope Spinel can accept that though she has been changed as a result of her trauma, that doesn't make her ‘bad’ or unworthy of love (because that’s just not true!)

- “There's no such thing as happily ever after”. Sad but true. And also turning the whole Disney vibe the movie began with in on its head. Very smart.

- Steven: “I'll always have more work to do”. Then, Spinel: “I've got work to do. Friendship isn't going to be easy for me. I'm gonna have to work at it”. Exactly. That's how it is. ‘Happily ever after’ is a stagnant concept, and staying the same person for the rest of your life isn't healthy. And deciding to work towards improving yourself can sometimes be the hardest step to take when it comes to overcoming trauma. But change can be good; you should always keep working on improving yourself, no matter how comfortable you are with who you are and where you're at. Evolution is a part of living.

- Ooooh, White Diamond got sassy. She even has the hand gestures down. She’s making up for all the years she spent T-posing.Good for her.

- Oh my gosh, the focus on the Diamond's hands! Instead of destroying, their holding a hand out in a gesture of friendship. Seriously, that's frigging growth. That's such a cool parallel too. Rebecca Sugar and her crew are just brilliant.

- I'm so glad the Diamonds got someone to love and help them through their grief, and Spinel got someone to love her unconditionally, regardless of the flaws she thinks she has. They all got someone to help them heal. That’s wonderful.

- “I can make a change.” 👏Yes👏you👏can! That's your superpower.

Damn, that was so wonderful! I've always loved the message of personal growth, and the movie did it so well. In my opinion, Steven Universe has always been great at analogies to explain real life things (ie. Malachite being a metaphor for toxic relationships) so I really like how they used to amnesia narrative device to show not only how much someone can change and grow over time, but also to show it's our experiences, good and bad, that shape us as a person. Lots of people have traumatic experiences in their life that can inadvertantly shape a lot of their personality, and it can be hard to leave that behind, especially if so much of your identity is dependent on those experiences. Sometimes they can lead us to becoming ‘bad’ people, but they can also help make us good people too. Just look at Steven! He was able to accept his past traumas and use them so as to help others heal their own.

Trauma isn't something you can erase without erasing a large part of your identity. It can be tough to live with, nonetheless. Sometimes, like Spinel, you just need a helping hand in accepting the scars life has given you; to help you grow beyond it and maybe even eventually be able to help others who are going/have gone through similar experiences.

And there's no shame in trying to be better and failing over and over again. At least you are trying. Because trying to be good against all odds, against the whole world doing its best to destroy you, shows just how strong you really are.

-----------

Sorry for getting flowery (and maybe just a tad projective). As you can see I just really like the moral of the movie, as well as pretty much every other aspect. I'm sure there's a lot of little intricacies I missed, but this is what I took from my first viewing of it. And these are just my opinions; you might have got a whole different vibe from the movie. You are completely welcome to add you own thoughts and improve upon mine (because I am by no means an expert).

So, to summarise my own thoughts on the movie, I’m just going to say: Personal growth for the win!

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things-we-used-tc-share · 5 years

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And then there were five

Warnings: Children, sort of

Ship: Logince

Plot: What they hadn’t expected from what could be marriage, is to actually create new life.

(This is not an mpreg dear lord you heathens)

When Logan and Roman had first become a ‘thing’ (As Roman had so very eloquently put it, Logan had many more words that had involved the words ‘intricate’ ‘relationship’ and ‘copulation’ to which Patton had many questions and both Virgil and Thomas were adamant none of them were answered), they had always somehow, somewhere assumed that one day it would end. Until they didn’t that is. Even the logical side could not tell you for a moment when he stopped thinking about the impending doom that was the end of the relationship and started to see it more along the lines of “This childish idiot is actually the love of my life and will be forever,” (His words, not mine).

At some point that was the case, they had started their relationship in a rocky path of discovery and had lived day to day with the idea that one day, this would be over. Until over time, those thoughts became as infrequent as the hot weather in the UK (That is to say sometimes those thoughts would stay for half a day and then disappear to some other country and return about seven months later for an afternoon).

Now, those thoughts don’t exist at all. They’d even dare to say those thoughts seem like a distant memory, things that existed and no longer don’t, like a...dinosaur. Which is good news because they’re all but married (”Patton you’re not a certified Pastor!” “No, I’m a Pat-stor!”), and even better news because right now, staring up at them with messy brown hair and brown eyes is essentially a creation of they’re own doing.

“That’s a child,” Virgil mutters whilst staring unblinkingly at the child “How does that...happen?” He stares at the two but finds no answer in the petrified look on Logan’s face, nor the confusion in Roman’s. It’s only Patton who has the guts, or perhaps the emotional ability that is larger than a teaspoon, to actually approach the child, cooing as he sucks his thumb and giggles.

“All the sides that have appeared previously now appear at the age in which Thomas is, this doesn’t make sense,” Logan being confused is very rarely a good sign and Virgil most definitely does not like that, but he gets a feeling that he already knows the answer, as impossible as that answer would be.

“What if it’s, I mean he’s, an uh...fusion?” He gestures between Roman and Logan “You know none of the sides have ever tried establishing a romantic emotional bond before, what if this is what happens when they do?”

“Oh, I get it!” Patton gasps suddenly “Roman,” He looks very seriously at the man in question “Have you seen any Storks around?” Logan buries his face in his hands with a tired sigh and Virgil tries to pull a face between sympathy for the man and some form of congratulations for Patton for coming up with an idea.

“Okay well whatever the answer is, that’s not it,” Roman starts off before approaching the child “But either way he’s going to be a side, he has to be so the best way to determine where he came from will be to wait and find out what exactly he is,” Logan nods before eyeing the child curiously. He meets Logan's gaze and then beams, holding out his tiny arms, Virgil would’ve laughed at the sheer terror on the other’s face if he wasn’t still so Anxious about the situation. “He seems to recognize his father,” Roman teases before volunteering himself to pick up the child, who seems overjoyed by the situation, little laughs escaping his mouth. Even Virgil doesn’t have the heart to find something bitter or cynical about this situation.

“Patton, I have a method we could use to help determine perhaps what-I mean- who he is,” Logan looks undeniably flustered, quite unsure of himself and he’s not the only one, even Patton is shifting from one foot to another and wondering if he’s going to have to read childcare books, or if toddlers can eat cookies. “You have a box of things you use to keep us pre-occupied, perhaps if you brought them here for him to look at, he will be drawn to one his function will feel most connected with,”

“A toddler is not going to understand how to use a Rubix cube, Logan,” Roman chastises playfully, still balancing the child on his hip. “But I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try at least,” Patton scurries off to his room, before returning with a bigger box than expected.

“I threw in some of the old toys the others used as well, just in case,” Virgil stiffens slightly, his eyeshadow darkening under his eyes before Patton is quick to reassure him “That doesn’t mean he will be like the others though, kiddo, there’s a lot of uses for these things,” Virgil still looks tense but he nods anyway and watches. Roman places the child down and, as expected, he begins to look curiously through the box, pulling things out and then putting them down in a very neat line when he decides he doesn’t like them (Logan take note of the organization and hopes nobody else notices when he pales a little at the similarity to himself) (Everyone else lets out a sigh of relief when the toy knife is placed in the line of no interest, followed by a rubber snake).

The child sits with only two objects left, a Rubix cube and a coloring book. The child looks at the colors on the cube and slides them around and then he keeps sliding them. In less than two minutes he finishes matching the colors and places down the cube. Logan really does look like he’s about to pass out.

The confirmation of just where and how this child came about (in a very vague sense, none of them have any idea of exactly how this happened), comes when the child picks up the coloring book and begins to draw the Rubix cube. It’s a perfect metaphor really, Logic meeting creativity in a very abstract way.

“Well he’s definitely yours but how does this answer who he is?” Virgil finally says, whilst Logan sits down, wearing the expression every man wears when they realise they’re a father to a three-year-old child. When he’s finally gathered his composure, he takes a deep breath.

“I...predict perhaps he is a fusion,”

“Normal people call that a child, Logan,” Roman interrupts, but he sits next to his almost-husband with a sympathetic smile.

“No I mean literally, Roman, I think he is a fusion between parts of our personality, created to ensure a stable balance between Creativity and Logic within Thomas, created from what I assume is our relationship,” He pauses “So yes, our child,”

“I’m gonna be the first to say it, that kid is going to be the most socially inept child to exist in the history of the Universe,” Virgil mutters “I mean it’s not like we can just...leave him somewhere, and we’re not just going to leave you two to look after him because you know,” He pauses, then sighs, trying not to admit he was getting all emotional on them “It wouldn’t be right to just expect you to do that,”

“The real question is,” Patton interrupts, a serious expression on his face “Can we look after a child? I mean, we looked after ourselves as children when Thomas was a child and it’s not like nutrition and stuff is going to be an issue but like...can we make him happy?” He pauses “And also can I make him cookies? He looks like he wants cookies,”

“Patton’s right,” Logan agrees with a serious expression “Looking after ourselves as children were easy because we knew what made us happy, we had set goals and ideas of who we were,” He stands up “He’s not like that,”

“He’s a mix of two distinct facets,” The creative side stands next to his partner “Which kind of means he’s probably going to spend a lot of time wondering who he is and where he belongs,” Virgil blinks at them with an expression of ‘wow I wonder who could possibly know about that?’ seconds before the realization dawns on them all simultaneously and they turn to stare at him.

“He’ll be okay,” He finally says, if not to calm their worries “The hardest part about not knowing where I belonged was that I didn’t have anyone there to tell me where I belonged, he’s going to have confusion but...he’ll also have us,” Logan seems to visibly relax before he approaches the child, kneeling beside him. The child takes only seconds to notice his presence and discard the coloring book in favor of attention, all but flinging himself onto Logan’s chest.

He stiffens for a moment, panic on his face as he looks up for guidance, finding frantic gestures symbolizing he should hug the other and pick him up. Once again, he begins to relax and does so rather awkwardly at first but once he’s standing with the child balanced on his hip he seems to fall into a form of natural instinct.

“God you’re so cute,” Is the general response, in a variety of different words and levels of excitement, Patton’s being the most energetic with Virgil’s including the words “Sickening,” somewhere in there.

“Dada!” The child exclaims happily. Logan lets out a squeak. Roman places a kiss on the other’s cheek before taking the child into his arms. Virgil sighs and rests his head against the banister, understanding that from now on things were going to be very different, he catches Patton’s love-struck gaze as the eldest beams at his friends and the new addition to their family and it’s enough to make him relax. Things were going to be different, but that doesn’t mean they were going to be worse.

@analogical-mess // @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten//@theresneverenoughfandoms//@charmingprincey//@aclickonapostwillchangeyourlife//@heck-im-lost//@k9cat//@stilljittery//@romansleftshoulderpad//@sanderssideslibrary //@max-is-tired//@therealmoshar//@punsterterry//@trashypansexual//@miserykillme//@demigodnamedathena//@sevencrashing

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Ehh i think i finally summed up why all of this steven universe diamonds stuff has been so underwhelming.

YES you can redeem a villain

but you have to

actually

TRY

Yes you can write a story about the world’s most fuckin horrible person being really actually sad at heart

Yes you can write a story about an abusive parent actually being able to change

Yes you can write a story about some wild genocidal alien civilization of asshole space rocks actually only doing it because something something societal pressure DESPITE BEING THE ONES IN CHARGE WHO SET THE DAMN RULES I GUESS

But fucking hell its not gonna be EASY and you shouldn’t treat it that way.

All of this shit was SO fucking quick?? And everything else WASNT!

You spent SO long hyping up these guys you spent SO long convincing us that they WERE evil and that they had entirey different motives for what they were doing and EVEN WITHIN THIS FUCKING EPISODE you spent more time showing us White Diamond being absolutely ridiculously existentially horrifyingly awful and refusing every offer everyone gave her to help and refusing every chance and fucking fucking goddamn violating people’s entire minds and just.. fuck.

After all that you cant just fuckin have steven walk up to blue and yellow and say “hey everything you did was bad” and them go “GEE WE NEVER KNEW!” for some reason this time they’re convinced in a single sentence despite it being the same sentence steven said before in every damn episode and pink said to them years before and every person they abused and enslaved and mutilated and KILLED said while they were DYING

And you can’t fucking have white diamond never redeem herself and never change and never admit she’s wrong and steven SOLVE IT WITH FUCKING FIGHTING WHILE SAYING HE DOESNT WANT TO, WHILE THE ENTIRE SHOW TRIES TO CLAIM THE REASON THEY ARE DOING IT THIS WAY IS BECAUSE OF PACIFISM

because seriously he?? just defeated her?? and this made her?? change???

redeeming a villain shouldn’t be easy. redeeming a villain has to have the villain TRY. white diamond has done nothing to prove she really has a heart, prove that she really did all this for sympathetic reasons, prove that she’s able to change, AND ESPECIALLY NOTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO ANY OF THE PEOPLE SHE’S HURT

she just got defeated and basically admitted she’s wrong cos she has no other choice. and i guess her blushing because steven issued a SICK BURN to her is meant to be enough proof that her entire motivation so far has been because of self confidence issues forcing her to put up a false front aka her entire personality we saw so far. If you wanna tell me she’s entirely different to what we saw so far then please could you please give it more screentime than twelve goddamn seconds.

This is like how yellow and blue just suddenly were accepted as part of the family and steven agreed to go with them to homeworld literally just because they realized he “is really pink diamond”. Like they never fucking repented or actually learned to empathise with humans or ever explained why they dont empathise with humans no nope the only answer we got is that they were sad about their sister/daughter/friend dying even though they were already doing all the same evil stuff before that and its what caused her to leave in the first place. no we’re gonna just completely trust them instantly and not even continue making an effort to convince them? we’re gonna trust them so much we’re gonna trust that white diamond will also change just cos we beat her up? COS SERIOUSLY STEVEN FUCKIN DEFEATED BLUE AND YELLOW IN A FIGHT AND THATS THE END OF THEIR ARC, HOW IS THIS PROVING THE POWER OF PACIFISM!! beating everyone up and then saying the same singular sentence again and somehow now it works!! or saying “my mum was pink diamond” and it doesnt convince them but hey if we say it again with magical proof its true then i guess it works now. wow that sure does argue the power of words i guess

everything EVERYTHING they did was just a fuckin misunderstanding cos they dont UNDERSTAND they were doing bad and thus they dont have to face any form of consequences beyond being mildly embarassed i suppose.

if you wanna make that the ending then you need to work to disprove all the hours you spent implying that.. yknow.. they were doing things because they were evil

and even if theyre sympathetic they still did evil things and they still need to work to prove that theyve changed

and ESPECIALLY if you’re making a show very heavy on subjects like LGBT discrimination it shouldnt be FUCKIN WOW UNEXPECTED that the audience would see this plot as a metaphor for stuff like homophobia and abusive parents and.. yknow.. societal oppression in a law system that forces you to live in the closet in constant fear of being discovered and killed. and all the other apparantly accidental undertones of racism and extermination of indigenous people in stolen land which YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED PEOPLE TO SEE WHEN THE PLOT IS LITERALLY EXTERMINATING PEOPLE TO STEAL THEIR LAND

all of that means you need to do MORE work to prove that that isnt actually what the plot is supposed to be, and more work to redeem villains who are very heavily goddamn triggering to a large part of the vunerable audience YOU SPECIFICALLY MARKETED YOURSELF TOWARDS

this was just so fucking overwhelming and somehow rushed despite being an hour long episode, and i hate it because the show spent so much effort on so much other stuff yet decided to half ass it at the really important part that NEEDED to have thought and time put into it if it was gonna nail the landing

especially after ALL THAT FUCKIN TIME AND EFFORT INTO THINGS THAT ONLY AMPED UP THE VILLAINY AND TENSION OF THESE GUYS AND MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE

like fucking hell how can you be so tone deaf??? this has been in the planning for so damn long and theyve been working on it forever and THIS is what they chose to rush over? this is the priorities they thought were important? even just within this episode if youre struggling to fit it all in then like seriously cut out some of the stuff like the montage of unseen fusion forms that did basiclaly nothing but a few jokes, and the equally as rushed bad lars and sadie romance resolution. Which is another thing that needed a lot of work to fix when the introduction we got to these two was a really unhealthy relationship and a dude who refuses to change despite being given twelve chances but suddenly changes COMPLETELY on the thirteenth one and i guess cos he died that proves he’s all good now. Except he acts all weird and creepy in the very next episode and endangers his new friends by acting all possessive over sadie again and getting angry that she has other friends????

i hate it because ive had to deal with the fandom telling all the people who were rightfully uncomfortable with how these subjects were handled that oh we’re just overreacting and oh wait and see cos they totally have a big plan for the ending or something that’ll make it all make sense. And comparing people being triggered by child abuse and racism to “huhu those dumb su criticals who hate the art style” or whatever...

god, man, its just a deflection of what the issue really is

“oh youre saying NO VILLAINS can EVER be redeemed and NOBODY can EVER talk about dark stuff in shows without being SECRETLY BAD AND SUPPORTING IT IN REAL LIFE?”

no im not saying that im just saying the subjects are fucking depressing to people who’ve suffered from the real life stuff and the villain redemption should be GOOD and should THINK ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE if it wants to make up for it

like fucking hell look at how much zuko from avatar went through before his redemption. look at how long he struggled with his morality and how long it took him to realise he was wrong. look at how much detail they showed us on all the people who negatively influenced him into making the bad choices he did. look at how much he went through to make up for what he did and apologise to everyone he hurt. look at how everyone he hurt didnt believe him at first and it took a while for everything to work out. look at how sometimes he messed up and took steps backward before getting to where he needed to be. and look at how he actually changed as a person and continued learning and growing and trying to be a good person even far into the future after the story ended.

hell, fuckin look at PERIDOT! peridot had a full goddamn zuko arc! peridot had more screentime than all of the diamonds combined, and it was way better utilized! she had a full process from being introduced as a scary villain BECAUSE OF MISUNDERSTANDING WHO SHE REALLY WAS, then being revealed as having a fully rounded personality, flaws and redeemable traits while still being a villain. and moments of her proving that she did indeed only become a villain because she didnt understand what she was doing was wrong, and a personality that matched with that reveal rather than having NO INDICATION she was like that until it suddenly happened only after she was defeated. and her redemption came slowly through friendship with steven and it had moments of the other characters not instantly trusting her and also of her making mistakes and struggling with believing steven’s philosophy when it went against everything she knew about life. and speaking of which it was established that she had a very different life which had negative influences pushing these ideas upon her, and tough stuff that made her scared and pressured. Not just being in a high position of ruling over a planet in the lap of luxury and ONLY AFTER BEING DEFEATED do we learn that they feel pressured by the societal expectation to be perfect and they actually would have agreed all along with dismantling the system but they were just too afraid to be honest. Or whatever the fuck that rushed ending was trying to go for! And man even after peridot joins the team she’s NOT redeemed yet, she’s initially only halfway doubting herself and only teaming up with steven because they’re both afraid of the cluster. And she messes up and says horrible shit to her new friends and feels the consequences of her actions and chooses to change. And her ultimate choice to switch sides is REALLY hard, she gets so close to going back to the diamonds and its a great personal sacrifice on her part when she chooses to give it all up and make an enemy of the person she was so scared of!

and GAHHH that good redemption is one in a million episodes that really set up the diamonds Being Bad and should have been a goddamn tally in the “effort required in the fuckin ending” chart!

could we not have even just had one ten minute episode of blue and yellow going around earth and experiencing human life and realizing there’s things worth protecting? or a few damn scenes foreshadowing white being actually insecure and lying to protect herself, rather than GENUINELY ABUSIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BAD?

and seriously even if you hurt people because you hate yourself YOU STILL HURT THEM

a sympathetic backstory should be a reason why they COULD be redeemed, not proof that they already are redeemed just because the backstory was stated in words and nothing else has fuckin changed.

imagine if zuko just lost one fight to aang and said “yes but my dad abused me” and aang was like “oh no now lets team up with zuko to beat up his dad” and none of the bad things zuko did were ever mentioned again and also he keeps his season 1 personality throughout the entire series

imagine if peridot fuckin.. just changed sides cos she’s funny and we like her. people wantedher to change sides as soon as she acted funny and likeable but they still made the effort to actually prove she had changed! the diamonds didnt act remotely harmless or remotely good until they just suddenly are in the very last episode.

hoo

fucking

ray

also why are we constantly just ignoring all these dark things about homeworld? like the episode with holly blue agate and the famethyst slave caste and all the creepy ways the entire place operated. i totally thought thatd.. yknow.. EVER BE REFERENCED AGAIN?? its never even mentioned that anyone even WANTS to go back and save them?? and the human zoo were outright stated to be like.. unsaveable. “oh theyve never known real human life and theyre happy in their slavery so itd be cruel to take them away from it” One off episode, forgotten about. And the creepy as fuck scenes of gems being BUILT INTO THE WALLS AND DOORS AS SECURITY SYSTEMS and the confirmation that more lapis situations are constantly going on yet somehow that singing hairbrush person doesnt get all the sympathy that she did. And steven going daww at the pebbles instead of being horrified that theyre born to work as servants and forced to live in the walls because the noblewomen dont want to look at them? and he asks them to make him a new outfit?? and theres no plot anything involving them except them puttering around in the background outfitting?? like was none of this meant to be seen as PROOF THAT THE DIAMONDS WERE EVIL and PEOPLE WHO NEEDED TO BE SAVED????

goddddd

please say they were rushed or something please say this is all the faultof being given less time than they expected please say there were other plans for other episodes we didnt see that would have given at least slightly more substance to any of this

also why wasnt this even advertised as the last episode if its the last fuckin episode

hhhh well at least obsidian was a great character design and so were the other fusions and new outfits even if they only appeared for twelve seconds. and white’s whole scary evil mind invasion stuff was really good even if it actually hurt the episode by being good, kinda

man im not even mad or anything i just feel mehh and bored and like im actually glad its over. i never wanted to feel that way about a show that used to be so good. i kinda wish the earliest episodes werent so good if the answers to all those well set up mysteries were gonna have so much less effort than the setup itself

...man i should make a whole post about all the mistaken ways i THOUGHT the show was gonna go that actually would have been way more interesting than the real answer.

i’m just super glad that my last theory was wrong cos wow that would have been the only thing worse than this ending! when white pearl first appeared before we’d actually seen white diamond, and it had all this thing that white diamond hadnt been seen in ages.. well i was worried it was setting up some sort of reverse twist where actually white pearl is bodysnatching white diamond instead of vice versa. So the whole evil empire would actually be run by a member of the slave class that its oppressing, and the diamonds/representative of the upper class would actually be poor victims all along. dear god i am so glad i got that wrong! tho im weirded out by how evil white/pink pearl looked in that first hint that she was originally pink pearl??

anyway basicallly im just so fuckin tired

#su spoilers #su critical #more like su dissappointed from someone who started off so damn su positive #su bored su rushed su i just wanted you to care as much about making this redemption good as you cared about other things #it really felt like in general the crewniverse just lost interest in the story around the third hiatus or so #whyyyy did they take so long to reveal anything if all the reveals were gonna be so fast and so bad #you gotta learn that if you hype up a thing you actually have to deliver #like fuckin hell it took a whole season to even introduce a single other gem at all #and so long to introduce homeworld and so long to introduce the diamonds and then whoops blink and its over i guess #also why was jasper hyped up so much and then shitcanned for practically a decade #and her only narrative purpose in the end was just a brief hint at the pink diamond arc

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professorbellarke · 6 years

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Honestly a bit disappointed in the “traitor you love” moment. Am I crazy for wising it had been a quieter character moment instead? I love soft bellarke so much. Please convince me I’m wrong! im begging you, I don’t want to be a negative Nancy :(

OHHHH. Oh sweet honey baby, you have come to the right person! And I hope you have some time to relax and pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents the thesis you didn’t ask for! This is going to be a long one.

Because I loved everything about that scene. Honestly, I loved the entire episode top to bottom, and I’ll tell you why. Because this story is a genre story. It is science fiction. And while good genre stories have intimate character moments and connections as the…I don’t know, the flesh and blood of a story, the BONES of genre fiction must be plot. And sometimes, it feels like The 100 carves away too much of that flesh and blood to focus on the bones, when the blood is what makes us care about the bones (this metaphor went cannibal places, oh no). BUT THAT MOMENT! Ohh, that moment, sweet anonymous, was the perfect fusion of flesh and bone. Heart and head. Plot and character. In other words it was our beloved Bellamy’s favorite thing:

!!!!!!HIGH DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!

One of the things I love best about genre fic is that everything—even and especially emotional revelations and turning points—must be done in the most dramatic way possible. It’s ingrained in the dna of the genre, and I’m always disappointed when sci fi and plots take the easy way out. No, I don’t want a magical amulet that’ll just fix everything! YAWN AND SNOOZE AND OO. The 100 never does this, which means it always pushes its characters into impossible corners, forcing them to make unthinkable choices, and that is what I love. If there’s an easy way out, like say, a space station that can shelter Skaikru from the radiation, THE 100 BLOWS IT UP. I LOVE WHEN SHOWS BLOW THINGS UP! I want the drama so explosive that my nose is three inches from the screen because I’m so eager for what’s next that I’m trying to physically leap into the story. I like the stakes SO HIGH that I’m in a constant state of tension. It’s why I’m obsessed with this show. It’s why it’s also not for everyone.

But like I said, this show is at its best when it has the character stakes and the plot stakes working in harmony. 5x08 was a masterclass in that.

For an example in how stakes make a story, Clarke’s radio could have worked (ignore science, I don’t know her, I know only story.) So Spacekru could have known she was alive the whole time, she and Bellamy could have had merry chats across space, she could have told them about her berries, they could have laughed together about that time Murphy slid into a coma, lol, classic Murphy. Then Spacekru could have come bback down when the five years were up, because of course they had enough fuel, and then Clarke would be waiting for them and yay! Good times.

Good snooze.

I have read really good fics that are about this exact thing. They’re cozy, dreamy, romantic, and beautiful. They fill a crack in my heart formed by the agony of Praimfaya. They are also NOT MARKETABLE GENRE STORIES BEING EXPLORED ON THE SCREEN. There are certain expectations there. You need obstacles before you earn the payoff. Bellamy must think Clarke is DEAD!!! And learn to move on without her! And Clarke must talk to him EVERY DAY because the thing that keeps her going is that he’ll come BACK TO HER! BUT THEY CAN’T GET BACK BECAUSE NO FUEL!!!! BUT CLARKE IS IN TROUBLE AND NEEDS THEM NOW!!! Ahhh! The stakes raise with every plot twist. And we’re personally invested to boot.

Bellamy could have learned Clarke was alive in a million ways, by stepping out of the dropship and seeing her waiting, by hearing her on the radio, on and on. But it’s so much better that they reunited in the climactic scene of the WHOLE EPISODE. That the first time Clarke sees him in six years is through a haze of pain, when all hope is lost, and then there is hope. Her drama bae. Dramatically saving her life like no time at all has passed. The whole plot of 5x03 was Bellarke reuniting! That’s what the stakes were. Will Bellamy get to Clarke in time? First he must overcome the fact that he’s stuck in space, and then that he thinks she’s dead, and that Diyoza will kill him, and ack it’s getting harder because Clarke is getting in deeper water by the second!

I LIVE FOR THIS. Those are the moments I watch over and over and over again.

So Octavia could have thrown out that “lol, you love Clarke, you’re so lame, sick burn Blodreina well done have a humansnack ration” at any time in the episode to try to get a rise out of him. But they saved it. For when it counted most. For when it would have the most impact for us and for them.

Bellamy (and the writers) didn’t just not deny that Bellamy loves Clarke. No, Bellamy’s love for Clarke was declared by the narrative while he was POISONING HIS SISTER to SAVE CLARKE’S LIFE as the FATE OF ENTIRE SOCIETIES AND THE LAST LIVABLE PLACE IN THE WORLD HANG IN THE BALANCE. BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS AS MUCH AS HIS LOVE FOR CLARKE! HIS LOVE FOR CLARKE WAS THE FINAL PLOT TWIST, THE TURNING POINT, THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE BELLAMY’S BACK! BELLARKE WAS THE PLOT!!! THE MOST SIGNIFICANT PLOT!!!!!!

That is my ABSOLUTE JAM RIGHT THERE oh my god. Oh my god I can’t even word about it. Yes, I love quiet character moments. I love them so much. And this show could use more of them. Honestly, this episode was so strong because it not only HAD them, but it let us feel them: Bellarke in the tent, Monty and Harper planning their happy farmlives, Emori and Murphy having a very sad second breakup in the woods while McCreary cursed his entire existence, Raven and Echo holding hands, Raven breaking down with Zeke at the end. From a character point of view, this episode was a gift.

But one of the things I’ve always loved best about Bellarke is that their emotional beats are TIED DIRECTLY INTO THE PLOT IN THE BIGGEST WAY. The stakes in their relationship are literally world-changing, life or death, apocalypses and war and, well, epic, in the Logan Echolls sense. What’s the first time the word love is used in connection to Clarke’s feelings for Bellamy? WHEN SHE’S SENDING HIM TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF IN MT WEATHER. When is the first time Clarke realizes how much losing Bellamy will hurt her? When she closes the dropship door on him and believes she has just killed him herself. Who is the one person on earth Clarke cannot sacrifice, even if THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE HANGS IN THE BALANCE? Bellamy freaking Blake, that’s who. Your OTP could never.

I love quiet, subtle, low drama Bellarke in my fan fiction, so very much. They deserve to have a break and so do we. But there’s a reason that never happens on screen—because that’s not Story, in the classic way of sci fi and fantasy, where the stakes are magnified. I had a writing professor who liked to use the common writing adage Twist the knife. You stab them right where it hurts, but you don’t just leave it there. You twist it. You milk it for everything its got.

Everything in genre fiction must be bigger. It takes the themes of our world and blows them up by adding bloodier stakes. It’s the same interpersonal struggles, but instead of you losing a job or a friend, you lose a kingdom. You lose a planet. Genre stakes are both personal and external, and the really good genre stories manage to fuse them—which is what they’ve done with Bellarke since day one. The fate of the hundred, of skaikru, of spacekru, of humanity, rested on Bellamy and Clarke being able to forge a working partnership.

And, spoiler alert, they did. And now they have to fucking kiss, hopefully in a moment of high plot-related drama as well.

I know fiction is objective and you super don’t have to agree with me. But I’m a high stakes ho, and 5x08 gave me my high stakes fix. Thank you for coming to the TED talk you only a little bit asked for.

#bellarke #the 100 #the 100 meta #whoops sorry for all the words #I LOVE STORIES!!!!!#epic. spanning years and continents. lives ruined. bloodshed.#some platonic shit #asks #ask answered #i have rubbish opinions

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the-fantabulous-toast · 5 years

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u ever see a post that just looks like someone swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest?

Yo so I couldn’t give half a shit about steven universe anymore (you took too long now your candy’s gone), but I watched the big event thing and have some Opinions

Spoiplers under the cut

So just a positive note before I get into the weeds, the whole scene where steven’s gem gets taken out was Very well done. It was deeply, deeply unsettling, really a perfect execution of a very troubling idea that’s been floating in the periphery of this show basically since it started airing. The split-screen gimmick was pretty cool, and that yell... yikes. Also, mad respect to whoever keyed the camera pan at the end of that sequence. That shit is really hard to do well, and I’m pretty sure they did the keyframes on ones instead of threes. That’s a monstrous amount of work, and they did a really good job.

Now.

I think this show has a problem with mixing its metaphors. Maybe my read of the thing is flawed. I admit I haven’t really been paying attention for a while, but here’s what I see. We started out with Diamonds As Fascism, and they stuck with that metaphor for a while. Then, somewhere along the way, it morphed into Diamonds As Abusive Family, and also at the end there Diamonds As Repressed Queerness.

Each of those messages is worthy of being told, and the latter two even play pretty nicely with each other. I just don’t understand how they’re gonna reconcile where they’ve left us with where they started us. As far as I can tell, when they first introduced the Diamonds they posed the question “Is fascism bad?” Then, a couple seasons and approximately 8 million years later, they told us the answer was “be yourself”. The way they put it together, the question and the answer don’t really match.

Like, I kinda see how it works? Kinda? Repression of individualism is a key component of fascism, and it isn’t too much of a stretch to characterize an abusive parent as a tyrant, and certainly abuse can be motivated in part by repressing aspects of one’s identity they perceive as ‘wrong’. I think the trouble starts when you try and put all of those ideas together. They don’t play nice.

I think it might be an issue of scale. When you’re telling “X Is Fascism” stories, the resolution to that problem can’t be small-scale. Fascism doesn’t get dismantled by one person convincing one other person they’re wrong. Fascism is a system of power, which operates on the scale of whole communities, and requires large-scale change to resolve it. Conversely, “X Is Abusive Family/Repressed Queerness” stories are much more on the level of the individual and interpersonal relationships, and require change on that level to resolve. While there are parallels between both of these types of story, there are fundamental differences that make it impossible (or at least inadvisable) to mix and match problems and solutions like Steven Universe does.

I’d love it if somebody more in the know could explain this to me. I’m really only looking at the macro-level of storytelling, and I really only skimmed all the in-between story, so I definitely missed some content that might make that shift in metaphors smoother.

One other note: I wanna describe briefly my experience with Attack on Titan. I haven’t made a secret of my dislike for that series. The art is crude, the story is meandering and mean-spirited, also the author is a fascist oops. All that being said, I read like 90 chapters of the manga. Not because I liked it, but because I wanted to know what was gonna happen. Even after I’d completely lost interest in the series, its hooks were in me deep enough that I still wanted to know the answers to the questions it posed from the outset.

Around chapter 90, all of the major plot threads had been resolved, all the minor plot threads were unceremoniously dumped, and all the big questions and mysteries from the start of the series finally had answers and explanations. By any reasonable metric, the story should have been over there. But no, it kept going. It’s still going, and from what I’ve gathered it’s even more miserable than it was before. I stopped reading at chapter 90 because everything that had originally made the series interesting had been stripped away, and what was left wasn’t worth staying for.

I’m concerned that a similar thing is happening with Steven Universe. They’ve provided answers to every lingering question, they’ve solved every mystery. They’ve achieved every goal they set out for themselves at the beginning of the series (heal the corrupted gems, found some sort of peace with homeworld), and they’ve tied up every loose end (doing all the crystal gem fusions, getting lars back to earth). By any reasonable metric, the story should have been over here. But no, we’ve got a movie and a sixth season in the pipeline, with god knows how much more after that.

Whatever follows after this is going to be thematically discontinuous with what came before it. There’s no way to continue the story using the ideas that formed the core of the show up to this point. That arc reached its natural conclusion. If the writers want to avoid just rehashing old ideas, they’re going to have to bring in an entirely new set of ideas to form the core of the series going forward.

That’s a risky move. They’ve been telling this story for years. If they want to continue it, they’re gonna have to take a real big swing. If they hit it, they could usher in an entirely new era of steven universe’s story, and we’ll look back at this as just a step in a larger narrative. However, if they miss, they risk dividing or alienating their cantankerous fanbase, and they might lose their more casual followers completely. The writers of Steven Universe are facing a paradigm shift, and I honestly don’t know what they’re going to do about it.

#Sam has Opinions #SU spoilers #lord help me here we go

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kendrixtermina · 5 years

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Thoughts and Feelings about“Change Your Mind”

I really wish I could rewatch this motherfucker somewhere but I have to sleep and go to work

Well on the one hand the main story lines are pretty much done for, on the other, the fallout alone could fill another season, and I’m actually glad that they’re not relegating that to the epilogue but actually going to show it

I assume season 5 will be Steven working with the Diamonds to improve homeworld, explaining things to Jasper, integrating the former corrupted gems on earth, finding out the deal with pink pearl, further developing Steven’s new fusions etc.

Other open questions involve gem origins and peridot’s renewable energy project, but I suppose that will come up as Steven tries to make the Empire less... imperialistic.

I understand why they wanted to air this in one piece, you couldn’t leave the younger viewers hanging with some of these creepytastic scenes and no resolution

There’s various concepts I feel reminded of.

There’s this idea of “tzimtsum” in kaballalistic thought, about how God created the world - In order to create a being apart from himself, he “hid” some aspects of the being, the ones that would seem - So every part of creation reflects one aspect of god, but none shows the complete pictures of it, and because everything has some aspects of god but not others, it is unique - so all humans are made in gods image, but still be different from each other.

Maybe Pink Diamond would be something like Lucifer in this analogy, part of the creation but as far from the god as you can get while still existing, and somehow their antithesis (stretching the analogy here, of course Judaism has no counterpart to Lucifer let alone the positive-ish early modernity interpretions of him - but of course, White Diamond isn’t exactly a benevolent God either. )

First of course Star Trek, like the ep where Captain Kirk is split into what at first seems like his good and evil half but is more like his animal instincts and higher reasoning, or in Voyager, when B’Elana Torres is split into her human and Klingon halves.

I guess Garnet wasn’t completely wrong in his being something in-between fusion and human reproduction, his gem half could be considered A Pink Diamond, but not the same one who created him - He must be fricking powerful to shrug off WD’s beams like that, like how Stevonnie still has “boosted” versions of Steven’s abilities despite Connie being human, Steven’s probably like Pink Diamond, but ‘boosted’.

Steven’s victory certainly showcases how it comes from both sides of his heritage. It involves making WD laugh/embarassed like what Pink used to do, but unlike her, he has the communication skills from Greg - I don’t think Pink ever talked to Blue in that way, she didn’t seem aware of what the other Diamonds were thinking at all, any more than she really understood Pearl’s lingering knot of complexes. It’s just not a skill she could have picked up before Greg - when? From whom?

His responsibility is all uniquely him and due to his upbringing with the CG’s and wanting to help him more, tho, both his parents where free spirit hippy bohemians, but it was Steven who decided “Nope, I WANT to fix it, because I can”, not because he owes it to anybody, even when no one could fault him for running.

Also, Frankenstein (the Novel not the film) - The original Victor was a sympathetic, even admirable character, but somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to have empathy with the monster, though Adam was in many ways alike to him and initially didn’t wish to be his enemy. Because while the gems relate to White Diamond as their goddess and the other Diamonds see her as their mother, she seems to regard them as extensions of herself. Maybe she would, as their creator. Gods are expected to smile benevolently upon their followers and solve their problems, Mothers, while they are flawed humans, are supposed to love their kids as they are and realize that they become their own persons, but artists frequently tear up their own work if they’re dissatisfied with it, because it’s supposed to be a reflection of their existence, so they might hate it for not reflecting them well enough -

i often regret tearing up half my teenage fanfics, but I’m able to view them different now that I’m - Back then, I felt like they reflectzed badly onto me - but if had kids and treated them like my fanfics or crumpled drawings, well, that would scar them for life.

You could certainly see this as a metaphor for narcissism, particularly in the way WD judged everything by how much it was like her, to the point that she would ‘overwrite`’ ppl’s personalities with her ideas of how it ought to be, while lacking a solid identity of her own apart from being “perfect/the best” by default, but that only goes so far because the gems literally are her creations who take their characteristics from various aspects of her being.

She’d have a completely different conceptual framework to anyone else, though she’s certainly not “above it” in any way.

I don’t think she was completely unaffected by Pink’s dissapearence either, if you want to complete the Stages of Grief analogy she would be Denial or Bargaining. Most likely, she was growing increasingly frustrated with her ability to make her empire “perfect” like she ought to and that’s why she started keeping to herself more and assuming that Pink couldn’t be dead.

She seemed like the knowing one when she was as much in denial as anyone else - you can tell they had a complicated relationship because of how White saw herself in her, that might be why she indulged and preferred her, but then again she didn’t always like what she saw and felt that Pink represented parts of her that she didn’t want to see.

It’s not without reason that Steven tells her to “get out of her own head” and try to see the world for what it is rather than her preconceived notions of what it is or means. You could perhaps relate that to

When she realizes that she’s actually dead - that’s when she has her breakdown.

You could even draw a parallel to “Romeo And Juliet”, where the older generation only realizes how much its ways were fucked up when it gets their beloved children killed for just trying to live happy lives.

Cal Gustav Jung would certainly remind us that what irritates us about others are often things that irritate us about ourselves, that we may be liable to “see the world as we are” and never is that more apparent than when we view everything through some skewed belief system, or when we hate - people hate people who blur boundaries because they don’t want to confront the ambiguity within themselves, or act as “superior” and merciless because they’ve rejected their own mortal fragile humanity.

Another observation is that when you set up anything as the “default” you create pressure not to deviate from the norm and prevent its members from experiencing their individuality. (see societal pressure on heterosexual men, or Euro-Americans saying they ‘have no culture to celebrate’ - maybe instead of becoming a devouring plague upon your fellow men, you could actually appreciate European culture? Like, read some books, eat some cheese, learn a language, listen to some classical music, vote for worker protection laws?)

It speaks for PD that she even tried to save other aliens at some point. steven stepped completely out of her shadow the moment he was able to feel sorry for her, like “Geez, she had to live like that? No wonder she turned out the way she did!” he pretty much calls the other Diamonds out at some point, like he gets a secure sense of the differences between them when he realizes how much better off he’s been in his own life. Like, UGH.

For my part, I don’t believe the “best of the worst” thing was true, and more of an “evil cannot comprehend good” moment from White, if not outright projection. (after all, White seems to view all other Gems as imperfect copies of herself) If anything, Pink seemed upset that she got stuck being the leader even as “Rose Quartz” (see the Beach scene in “Greg the babysitter”) - but of course Steven, not being Pink, wouldn’t know whether or not White is right.

Other Thoughts:

In the earlier scenes you could see a lot of parallels to less than ideal family situations, and how people might end up acting as proxies of the problematic person, almost sprouting their words, in the name of keeping the peace, and how people in such an environment may have no idea of how it’s not normal

You CAN talk down such a person (I know of multiple people who made a bona fide job out of talking sense into literal nazis and clansmen, person by person - their tactic was generally to find whatever problem their rage came from), but there’s a difference between “flawed” and “awful” and I do think it came through that White is a piece of work quite unlike, say, Connie’s mother, and that Steven’s dealing with her because he wants to for the good of society, because he’s the bigger person and secure in himself, not because he owes it to her or anything

It seems like they went for “awesome” rather than “beautiful” with Steven’s fusions. The designs are kinda gaudy, but even so, once you getpast the gaudy design, it’s kind of touching how Steven’s and Garnet’s fusion is essentially a motivational speaker who sprouts encouraging advice nonstop. Garnet was always Steven’s Mentor and as well as the main person (besides greg) to teach him morals, as well as generally encouraging & supportive, but Steven of course encourages and supports her too, and both like doing that for others

I love Peridot’s short shorts and that she and Bismuth repaired the ships/ went a-tinkering together. It took me a bit to notice that it’s supposed to be shorts and not just her old outfit with starts instead tho

Voice of Reason!Connieis a gift that keeps on giving

#steven universe #su spoilers #change your mind

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maneaterwithtail · 6 years

Text

Reaction Ralph Breaks the internet

You know what makes Venom enjoyable as a movie? Well I suppose not the Buddy comedy per se but the fact that it's fun if not necessarily good? I'd say that's what Wreck It Ralph 2 is like. Mind you it's still better overall in quality but it's real appeal is going to be the fact that you get that joke or you understand that internet phenomena. And of course we get to meet up with the characters and see how things have advanced over the years

Also okay I think I'm going to have to add spoilers But ultimately I don't think you need to see this immediately but I think it will be a fun theater experience.

Spoilers

Now

No twist villain or I suppose technically there is one but it’s not what we expect. And ultimately I say that’s the best part of the movie. It very much knows how to curate and play to audience expectations. Whether it’s the after credits scene and how it’s framed. Or the various characters in the plot. I mean the moment and I mean the exact moment that I saw that blue girl I thought she was going to be the twist villain. And then her next major scene she’s in full military get up addressing a bunch of peons?

But no both who she is and what she represents ultimately turns out to be a good thing. she is a bit odd but for the most part she’s actually personable. I mean she’s definitely focus on business but she’s surprisingly caring even when she doesn’t have to be. In fact that’s what’s the big twist. the movie it goes out of its way to both show some of the a lot of a good (and Commercial) aand -well hinting more than showing -some of the bad of the internet. But the number one focus is always on the human factor and how it makes things go bad in the plot. It’s not necessarily the internet itself that’s bad it’s how it can enable

well

our insecurities

The development between Ralph and Vanellope sweet is actually interesting. though it does get a little too on-the-nose after the big third-act break up. I mean I guess technically a search engine would be able to point that out but still. And then of course we have Shank really drive it home just in case you didn’t catch what’s going on with Ralph and Vanellope at the stairs. Or more accurately much like Fusion in Steven Universe it’s a multi-level metaphor. Ralph’s in the last movie finally found a sense of family and purpose. So VVanellopein many ways is much like with a certain animated series that concluded this year's lead is sort of goddess for him. All the same time being his buddy

So basically we are going to take on nice guy syndrome but at the exact same time it doesn’t go for any of the cheap shots of this. Even though it literally end with Ralph trying to slowly and completely possess Vanellope while arguably in a funk pile of himself

Basically we legitimize Ralph’s insecurities but we also attack it as it needs to be. Also they actually managed to make me tolerate the Disney Princess scene. Actually going for better deep Cuts then the billion 'n one "I took gender studies 101 class" articles that have flooded the internet for the last 10 years. How many people have pointed out the whole water thing? And more importantly it reiterated why the princesses are always going to be a thing:

Representing raw potential and emotional vulnerability turning into strengths while also allowing for self-reflection and determination. Well I think this is a little uundermined with their appearance at the end the moral that they deliver is a bit better even as it is appropriate. Also of course we end up with Ralph in a dress

Liked Ralph turning to ddemonizing the internet and the Very game that has enabled Vanellope in order to fulfill her goals and dreams or at the very least awakened a desire in her in order to expand

The fact that Ralph is both simultaneously her friend and kind of starting to become her friendzone friend and her well father get to be pointed out and then we realize looking back. This is been seeded throughout the entire movie.

Of course there’s not just two Shadows of Ralph in this movie I mean okay technically there’s like Millions I think at the end. But before we run into the pile of clones there’s also of course the guy who gives him the insecurity virus. A man with a white face slovenly disposition balding hair that’s brown and later somehow turns up in green overalls or at the very least one of those apron things. Who is characterized by both insecurity and a well conjoined connection to a little person who he ends up acting on behalf of but never Lets act on their own

By the way if you have a problem with the resolution of Vanellope and Ralph it’s pointed out by Calhoun and Felix that there really is no way to road to the perfect child or be the perfect parent there’s going to be mistakes and failures. It really says something with a friendship can overcome those and I like the fact that it’s the blue girl who kind of points out hey turning an interpersonal relationship into who’s the bad guy contest kind of stupid

Okay let’s see we’ve got Airbender Pocahontas

Oh nevermind I’m sure everyone else will get to that. So when Disney commits to taking the piss out of itself holyfuck does ot commit.

an entire Allen Mankey Musical number on a GTA, well I guess it’s kind of more Saints Row though with a little fortnite thrown in nowadays, with rainbow colors, pageantry, explosions, sharks, dogs, license plates, and everything. Which kind of helps to poke just a little bit at the haters. No you are not not a princess you just have a different aesthetic. Or at the very least Vanellope ascends to proper Disney princessness with her own crazy gamer girl I want song.

Which is a big part of this movie

It knows it’s dealing with the media Savvy consumer. it knows part of its stuff is already memes and it literally is about trying to chase internet thing but it avoids a lot of the various plot detoure that you think that this could go. the closest is a liar revealed plot. But even then Ralph's confession pretty much comes naturally when he realizes that his behavior has hurt Vanellope way more then his intention.

and of course the more quiet aspect of the positivity of the internet is taken advantage of in that ending scene which honestly kind of reminds me of a half dozen anime either by hosoda or others

It’s because of multimedia connectivity that even though VVanellope becomes so far apart that she can have more challenges more content and more of the world to herself while at the exact same time connect to Ralph.

Also it’s nice to see that just because things have changed Ralph’s life hasn’t stopped and he’s try to include more people in it

#wreck it ralph #ralph breaks the internet #reaction #spoilers #b plus

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