#My body barely functions as is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

revenantghost · 5 months ago

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Getting super ill to the point that I can't write fic just after I regained the ability to do prose again wasn't on my 2025 bingo card, and yet

#Just had my doc dismiss the hell out of me too so RIP #They're pursuing SOME diagnostic paths #But not the ones I'm pretty sure I need #I even have a diagnosed condition that may be causing it!!!#But nope!#After I suggested I thought of that as an option too #Guess what they stopped pursuing #I am. So tired #This is all I've got man #My body barely functions as is #Anyway #HAOHB is completely written so it will be finished #But that might be it from me #I can't focus idk if this even makes sense #Cool cool cool #I keep hoping it'll magically just be the worst flu of my life and I'll get better #Yadda yadda

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uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago

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You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.

It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.

#positivity #mental health #mental health support #gentle reminders #this is something i struggle with myself so that's why i said i empathize (well... i guess as much as you CAN empathize)#(because even if you have gone through the same thing... it's not going to look the same as somebody else going through that)#(and while it can be valuable to express empathy it doesn't mean you truly 'get it' from the other person's point of view)#i struggle sometimes not to feel like my body is fucking with me because sometimes i expect it to function at bare minimum #or i just assume that when it is in debilitating pain that it's just... somehow to fuck with me and i am cognizant that this isn't true #i am cognitively aware that the body isn't Specifically Designed to have a Fuck With You mode even if it feels like it #but my experiences with disabilities and general unwellness made it easy for me to alienate myself from my body #in order to preserve myself i felt the need to separate myself from every flaw (or 'flaw') i have #so when people are confused about why you could mistrust your /own body/ it's stuff like this that can somewhat illustrate it #i think we don't really talk about this but i think it's more common than i would assume #(mostly based on the There Are Eight Billion People principle)#hm making this also makes me realize that abuse absolutely plays into how i mistrust my body. hm.#mistrust in your body feels like self-protection and self-preservation in this weird and almost twisted way (at least in my experience)#but then you start mistrusting *everything* and nothing feels... GOOD or NORMAL anymore #i'm going to play mahjong about this 🫡👍

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livef1sh · 24 days ago

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Well, like, depending on what's making you green still, I might be able to un-green you. If you wanted.

I don't think that's even possible, given the parasitic nature of sanitized ink. Without going too deep into the details, you'd probably have to drain me completely dry, which would genuinely, really kill me. And if I did happen to survive, by some miracle, I'd probably end up with even more medical problems, anyway.

Thanks for the offer, though. If it puts your mind at ease, the discoloration is the least of my problems with my condition.

#Anonymous #ic #Apparently Cuttlefish survived being turned into squid jerky because Sango cried anime tears on him or something.#But it's not really my place to tell you how it affected him if I did know.#I might not like him but I have at least the bare minimum respect for him.#//IIII CAN tell y'all thoughhhh. at least my interpretation of it #//apparently in canon he just fucking?? stays squid jerky for fucking ever???#//but in my interp he probably has to get like. ink infusions. i think maybe his ink sac doesn't function like it should anymore #//and as for the 'details' about sanitized ink. again my own interp.#//i think the process of sanitization probably involves not just ivs to get it into your bloodstream. but also going Into the body #//to get it Fucking Everywhere. hence the vivisection.#//while probably flushing out the 'patient's' natural ink in the process #//and once it's so thoroughly spread into every little cell in your body it Attacks anything that is Not Clean (sanitized)#//so while your ink sac might still produce ink in your natural color it's basically immediately sanitized #//kind of like an immune system that fucking hates you #//but even though it's now all over your body and you're fucking greened and zombified. it's Still foreign ink to your body #//so there are some uh. adverse reactions to say the least #//i feel like tartar might've developed some kind of 'cure' for those symptoms as a medication for its... 'employees' to take #//but obviously that ceased production and distribution once pearl booyahed it to death #//and of course none of the formerly sanitized octolings Remember the exact makeup of that medication.#//some might not even remember taking it. because. you know. brain scrampled egg #//anyway does fucking ANY of this make sense??? probably not.#//but humanoid land fish people don't make all that much sense either so #headcanons #muse lore

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supayofficial · 7 months ago

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"I def have adhd lol I just feel so hyper today" "isn't adhd just being quirky/loud?" "everyone is a little hyper/distracted" "this is the new tik tok trend"

#okay I used to be one of those people who would be like. no way I have it I'm not doing things all day and I don't get distracted by #squirrels or some shit like that #but I've since learnt I'm in fact hyperactive. badly actually. it's no bueno #my body bounces off the walls but it still can't catch up to my brain #I always had innatention and memory issues but I thought that was just me being an idiot #also the other day I literally forgot what I was talking abt bc of a fucking squirrel so there ya go ig #adhd #also no need for you to be moving all day to be hyperactive your brain can go off without your body syncing to it idk how to explain #anyway I think this was it all along you guys #the shit that was destroying my life was fucking adhd all along #the reason I couldn't hold a job or study or friends #the reason I could barely function the same as my friends who didn't even try #and wonder where I went wrong #personal

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shmilding · 1 month ago

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I have intentionally unreasonable expectations for camping. If anyone asks me to go camping i'm gonna tell them I expect to pay nothing and be paid hourly for my time.

I expect, for the sake of my own life, to be reimbursed for the blood I will inevitably lose to hundreds of little itch-inducing needle snooted sleep disrupters.

Is it realistic? Hell no. But☝️ it WILL stop at least one person from ever asking me to go camping ever again.

Anyways I actually tried a crochet pattern instead of blindly throwing a crochet hook at a ball of yarn and made stars :]

#crochet #crochet star #beginner crochet #art #I understand thst Mosquitos have their place in nature #but I barely function with my blood inside of my body

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watch-my-cosmic-death · 1 month ago

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I genuinely can’t handle the responsibilities I have in my life when I’m stressed. I have to message my sibling to arrange a date to meet up but I have no money and no time to do so because I have to study for my assignment that is due next week- and I have to message my friend back because he called me and I didn’t answer yesterday because I couldn’t function because I was overwhelmed. I have to work out or my mental health will keep getting worse and I’ll forever be stuck in a painful loop of fear and anxiety. I should call the doctors to see if I might have ocd but I can’t bring myself to do it. I should finish my assignment, I should finish my work, I’m behind, I’m behind, I’m behind

#I wake up and it’s instant stress now #instant panic that I have to fit so much into my day #I feel like I can’t breathe because it’s so loud in my body all the fucking time #the food noise the intrusive thoughts the studying the panicking the planning the timing #nothing stops ever #I can barely sleep so I’m barely functioning #I wish I didn’t agree to go Saturday #r

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cookinguptales · 1 year ago

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like many people with chronic pain, I would kiss the inventor of the heating pad sloppy-style

#alas they all appear to be dead #chronic pain #I’ve spent the last 24 hours with heating pads wrapped around various parts of my body #which I helping to restore function but I can still barely walk rip

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faggling · 3 months ago

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you ever have an entire day where literally every word out of anyone's mouth disappears instantly and you're just kinda shambling about and nodding while you use all your brainpower to stay upright

#it has been close 36 hours without sleep #gf had an appointment early af and i was too hypervigilant to sleep last night and the day has just kept happening #it was her first day with dilation #i also cried like three times this morning #just a long long day and i could barely comprehend any of it #and my body is shutting down but she still needs care tomorrow and our friend doesnt know the rules for dilation yet #so i have to be awake and functional #i think tomorrow is our friends last real day with us and i dont want to miss it either #ao i better stip bitching and sleep huhz

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hylianengineer · 7 months ago

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You ever get called out by your own fanfic? Like, I am projecting my problems onto the blorbos, and they're fine and normal when then happen to me, but when they happen to characters they're suddenly horrifying and a sign of something deeply wrong. I did not sign up for that realization when I opened this word document.

#yeah i just realized how fucked it is i can barely eat right now due to stress. like. i eat. because i feel horrid if i don't.#my body will riot if i go more than a couple hours without eating. but. everything tastes like sawdust and inconvenience. deciding what to #eat is a feat of executive function equivalent to slaying a dragon #actually putting food in my mouth is also so much work.#hey this is alarming actually #yes it has been my state of being for six months but also. what the FUCK dude!#also had this happen with a childhood trauma thing once. like hello i did not sign up for that realization when i opened this word document #hylian rambles #hylian writes #food issues tw

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murphysiblings · 5 months ago

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i NEED to get on t soon

#i also want to start working out but my body can barely function if i do anything more than take a run

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cuteniaarts · 11 months ago

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Wine stains on porcelain

(Alternatively: @katkastrofa and I have created 5 OCs in 3 days and I suffer from chronic “I wanna draw the little guysssssss” disease)

#my art #artists on tumblr #the legend of korra #original characters #I have not figured out a tag system yet so for now this is all they’re getting #their names are liba and abyan and I’m very much obsessed :)#they’re the children of two of our other newest OCs. Himman and Summiya #the latter of whom just happens to be Zaheer’s older sister #but he ran away from home years before these two were born so he most likely isn’t even aware of their existence #I mean. I’m sure he suspects his sisters had children. but that’s the extent of what he knows #anyway #quite a few headcanons came to mind as I was drawing so I’m gonna type them out while I can still function #(haven’t slept for two nights in a row. I’m starting to doubt whether I’m actually alive or not)#Liba is older by about a year but once they grow up a little it’s barely noticeable and people assume they’re twins #over time they stop bothering to correct them because really. they’re so close they might as well be #they were both burn with port wine stain birthmarks on their faces. much to their mother’s dismay #she has a whole perfectionism complex and needed her children to reflect that to maintain the family image #thus they were taught how to hide the marks early on. but the powder makes them constantly sneeze #liba is very self conscious about it bc of what her mother put in her head. Abyan less so bc while he’s expected to be perfect #his future doesn’t depend on his looks. he always tries to comfort his sister whenever she spirals too deep. no matter that she’s older #when no one is around to hear he calls her Lili <3 it annoyed her at first so she dubbed him Yanyan in retaliation #but over time they both grew to love the nicknames and now use them unironically #they’re the ultimate partners in crime. their goal? gaining as much freedom from their mother as possible #and sooner or later they will manage to do so permanently. which will make Summiya fall apart. but that is currently Kat’s domain #speaking of. hi Kat. I know you’ve already seen this in pencil but look! I coloured them!!#the birthmarks were both kinda annoying and rather fun to do. maybe I’ll change them later. I was too tired to look at refs so I improvised #and there’s no detail in clothing since again. 0 energy whatsoever. but once I refine their full body designs I shall go all out #that reminds me I need to go collect my new sketchbook. might do it on the way home from the store #okay I’m getting distracted. is this my very unsubtle way of trying to influence Kat to write that Summiya fic?#maybe. maybe not. you can’t prove anything 😁

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 1 year ago

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If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.

#i'm so fucking sick #wifey and i are pretty sure we got COVID so we've been isolating and trying to stay well #this is now at least my 2nd infection though #and you can tell too #wifey has been having trouble keeping me fed and hydrated and CONSCIOUS because I'm so tired I can barely function #this is despite sleeping for 12 hrs a day the past two days #and being fully medicated (or as fully medicated as I can be)#and on top of that my hypotension has been acting up severely since getting sick and I can barely walk 10ft b4 losing consciousness #i've haven't started throwing up my food and water yet but I've come pretty close especially early in the morning #anyway the point is that I am like. visibly being hit with an autoimmune aggravator not just a normal cold #and unfortunately #I'm taking it harder this time than the last #wifey is doing okay and mostly experienced it as a headcold with severe fatigue #she's pretty much better now a week or so out from starting to show symptoms #we....don't like when she gets hit that hard tho because it usually means I'm about to get bodied #pattern is holding so far regrettably lmao #anyway #my point is that I'm sick and angry and grieving and I really want to hit something or set it on fire #but i can't because i can barely move or even stay awake #and this is literally all my personal hell #as a result i am finding that I have a uhhhhhhhhhh unreasonably low threshhold for irritation recently

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umbracirrus · 9 months ago

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I fell ill again a few days ago and I'm finally starting to feel a bit better

And god

I just wanna write about my idiots so bad it's almost painful lol

#meg is rambling #like my body gave me like 5 days of feeling fine before getting another bug and I'm so mad about that #I've barely been functional the past few days but i might actually be able to get my laptop out when i finish work to do some writing #or doodling. maybe some doodling. but most likely waiting #it's like my body has a switch it presses at the end of September to make me feel ill lol #without fail i will catch /something/ goddamnit

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a-story-teller · 1 year ago

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me, empty stomach, running on 6 hrs of sleep for the second day in a row: wow jumping off this building sounds like a great idea

me, 10 minutes after eating: I'm normal now

#yes senshi chilchuck and laios I hear you saying that good meals rethinking my lifestyle rhythms and regular exercise will make me strong #I'm tryyyying I'm just BUSY #and my body needs so much damn upkeep just to function. Who thought this up. I'm so tired of having to eat #I barely even enjoy food anymore and I'm sick of the action of eating #:/

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rabbithaver · 1 year ago

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i am doing the most i physically can given my situation but it still really isn't enough

#it's not enough! it's not! i'm sorry! i have to do more but i can't!#i have to do something to justify my worthless and pathetic existence!#i have to do SOMETHING to make up for the fact that i benefit from the horrible shit this country does!#but??? i literally cannot??? my money is not my own!!! i have no income!!! my body barely functions on good pain days #i call the reps and i do the daily clicks and i sign petitions but none of it matters because that is the bare minimum #that is the bare minimum to do to not be a colossal piece of shit. it's not enough #god god god god god i am not enough im not enough im not enoughhhhh #rabbit.txt

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truckstoptigers · 1 year ago

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i keep having internal cramping in my abdomen and. uh. tmi but lower. and I'm fucking sick of it. It's been a week of this. it reminds me of him and what he did/let happen to me. it even feels like it's happening again for a moment and when it passes all i can do is sit there and wait to come out of the dissociation it causes, which could potentially be an entire day

#i have so many medical issues now thanks to him (and the other men). i feel like my body barely functions as a body sometimes #milo murmurs #my body is fucked & my head is too. yay #csa vent #tw csa vent #csa tw #trafficking vent #tw trafficking #trafficking tw

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