#My god I have not written for this man in a WHILE

[bittersweetbeet]

Idk if this is a hot take but I genuinely believe that victim and Chosen’s fight in The Box episode is one of the most well written scenes in AVA/M and one of my favorite scenes in media in general.

One of the reasons is because of how uncomfortable it is, and I mean that in a good way. Seeing this strong, powerful being who we’ve seen do some crazy things, be beaten treated like an animal, especially with how hard he tries to fight back, is hard to watch. We’ve seen how strong Chosen is but to see that all get taken away pretty easily is very scary n I feel we don’t talk about that enough!

(More under cut, I go a LIL insane)

Not to mention, the scene is just,, I’m not sure how to put into words but it’s just, needless violence. Again, I mean that as a good thing. There wasn’t any real reason for victim to go and do ANY of that to Chosen if his only goal with him was to interrogate him about Alan. Like vic had the power to restrain Chosen easily without a big fight but he CHOSE to draw it out, chose to have this man fight a battle he couldn’t win. There was no real reason victim had to go about this the way that he did, and there was especially no real reason for THIS;

It establishes victim’s whole thing around his need for control, something he lacked when he was created. His need to establish dominance over others to make up for the fact he’s really not that special, at least compared to the other hollowheads. And what better way of showcasing that than by putting one of the strongest characters on a leash.

Not to mention, victim could’ve had all of Chosen’s powers taken away and just ended the fight there no? Like I said, he could’ve restrained Chosen in a bunch of different ways without a fight but vic WANTED a fight. vic wanted Chosen to feel as helpless and powerless as he did all those years ago, for him to feel the pain of putting all his strength into fighting for his freedom, only for it to all be in vain.

That’s also why this scene is so hard to watch; it’s a one-sided losing battle. The odds were stacked against Chosen from the minute he was placed in the Box. He wasn’t going to win even if he tried and by god, he TRIED. He gave victim a run for his money while being severely nerfed n victim being heavily buffed. But even though he tried so hard to fight for his freedom, he still lost.

What makes this fight scene so hard to watch is that you can argue it’s not even a fight scene, it’s more of a beat-up.

[dinogoofymutated]

Okay so like,,,,I usually never make requests (I’m a lurker fr fr) but your writing Is god tier, so I gotta ask:

Could you do a fic for Hank/Beast? He’s my personal fave but I never see any content for him ever, like the fic scene for this man is a ghost town. he’s underrated as hell. My man is ripped, highly intelligent and respectful of the arts! Yet he doesn’t get any attention.

I would love to see some general headcanons (SFW & NSFW) if you’re up to it. no problem if you don’t write for him or something, I just thought i would ask.

Thanks!

SFW!Beast/GN!Reader

To be honest, I actually wasn't really sure about writing for Hank at first because I've never really had a connection to the character, but he grew on me!! Plus, I'm here to serve lolol we've been starved of fics as a Fandom for basically forever and it would be a disservice not to fill the Hank void out there! Hope it's okay that I only wrote Sfw headcannons, I have a separate req for NSFW for him so I decided to split it into two to save my sanity lol. Finals are gonna be hell for me.

-ps- Should I be writing right now? no. Am I doing it anyway? Yurp. Also, I'm basing his history off of the fandom wiki, so I'm sorry if anything is off.

Tws: none that I can think of atm. As always, reader written while picturing fem but no pronouns mentioned.

Hank, despite what some would think, was most definitely a heartthrob, particularly in his college days!! I mean, a man who's confident, smart, respectful, and also an athlete? Who wouldn't swoon? He was 110% the guy that everyone wanted to take home to their parents.

And He's such a sweet, attentive lover too!! Acts of service almost definitely is a love language for him. He cooks for you, fixes the broken things that you didn't even realize were broken, even organizes your notes before a difficult exam.

He loves to surprise you with flowers, even if it isn't any special occasion, and if you ask, he'll help you preserve them as well!

He loves to kiss your forehead, temples, and hands. On top of that, he's very touchy. The two of you were most definitely seen as the parents of any friend group.

Things changed a little after he took the serum that mutated him further. His confidence had taken a blow, and he just didn't quite know how to approach you anymore.

It took a hot minute to reassure him that you didn't really care if he was blue, or furry, or beastly, he was still Hank Mccoy, wasn't he? He was the man you were in love with, and you certainly weren't going to stop now. Besides, you still thought he was handsome. With the kinds of books he's seen you read, you're a bit surprised that he didn't think you would find him attractive.

Things gradually got back to normal, but for a while, he didn't kiss you as often as he used to. Well, he didn't kiss you period. Even though he knew the incredible extent to which you loved him, the shape of his mouth had changed. Hell, he had fangs that he would rather die than mark you with.

You practically had to tie him down into a contract to get him to kiss you again. He was always one to experiment, why not treat this the same? If you kiss, and it goes well, you do it again. If it goes well a second time and a third, you have a pretty reliable test. Validity shouldn't matter when he knew that you loved him to bits already.

He felt like he was falling in love with you all over again, and yet he still hesitated. It wasn't until you had grabbed him by the collar to drag him into a kiss that he actually relaxed, and what do you know, it was a pretty reliable test after all. A predictive one too, with how often you continued to kiss him afterwards.

Domestic was the best way to describe your relationship with Hank.

    You yawned as you made your way down to the lab, still in your pajamas and slippers. Just a few hours previously, after a shower and self-care routine, you had settled into bed with an eyebrow-raising book as you waited for your husband to come to bed. This was a normal routine for the two of you, you immersing yourself into a book to stay awake until Hank entered, kissed your temple sweetly, and began his own nightly routine. It was a set of events you were used to. 

    Today, however, you felt like you had done a lot more reading than usual. When you finally pulled yourself out of your book and checked the time, the clock by your bed read 11 pm. A rather late time for Hank to be out, but you already knew where he would be. The lower levels of the mansion were extra cold at night, and you find yourself rubbing some warmth into your arms as you approach the lab. 

    The doors open with a swish, the light of the lab having all been darkened exempt for the lamp on Hank’s desk. He’s so immersed in what he’s doing that he doesn’t even realize when you come in. You walk up behind his chair, running your hands through his hair softly when you reach him.

    Hank isn’t surprised, sighing at the pleasant sensation as he tips his head back to encourage you. You giggle a little, leaning down to press a kiss to his head as you begin to massage his scalp.

    “It’s late.” You say gently. Hank hums in response, eyes closed as he appreciates your touch. 

    “I’m sorry, my love. Seems I was a little entranced.” He says. You huff at him playfully.

    “You say entranced, I say you’re overworking yourself. You’ve been working on this project all week. Don’t let it cut into your rest time.” Your scolding always sounded too nice, but he knows you mean it. Hank sighs again, this time sounding a little more tired, but he doesn't argue. He rolls around to face you, pulling you into a tired hug from his chair. 

     “Perhaps it is time I go to bed. What time is it, my dear?” 

    “Eleven.” Hank lets out a quiet chuckle at your quick reply, finally standing up. He doesn’t let go of you however, choosing to rest his head on your shoulder as he sways the two of you back and forth.

    “You’re most certainly right, it is late. Much too late for a man to leave his lovely spouse waiting. Oh, whatever shall I do to make it up to you?.” His words come out as a purr, and you let out a curt laugh at him. You pull away a little, taking his large hands in your own as you lead him to the door. He smiles widely when you stop for a moment, remembering his glasses and placing them on his face before starting to drag him to bed. 

    “I’ll let you decide that, Love. As long as you make it to bed, that’s apology enough for me.”

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: April 2024

oh my god you guys I've read SO MUCH this month!!! I got BIG into reread N.K. Jemisin's tremendous Broken Earth trilogy and it's been jaw-dropping, and I have been reading a HEAP of comics and manga a

on the extremely off chance there's anyone following me who doesn't think comics, manga, graphic novels, etc don't count as "real reading" lmao lol get out of here??? you're on the Reading 1000s of Pages of Old Batman Comics blog. go feel the whimsy of reading a whole graphic novel in one afternoon and maybe you'll calm down.

ANYWAY!!! what have we been reading?

Earthdivers Vol. 1: Kill Columbus (Stephen Graham Jones, Davide Gianfelice, Joana Lafuente, 2023) - Stephen Graham Jones is one of my all-time favorite authors, and I was super excited to check out his first comic series. Earthdivers takes place in the wasteland of the 22nd century, where four Native survivors have hatched a plan to try to stop the disasters that are killing the world: use a time-travelling cave to send one of their number back in time to kill Columbus before he can launch the colonization of North America. it's a one-way trip, and the time traveler will have to be ruthless to achieve their goal. beyond the attention-grabbing hook of killing Columbus, this story dives (you see what I did there) deep into an exploration of what it means to sacrifice everything for a cause and find the will to be ruthless in pursuit of the greater good. I'm not 100% sure I tracked all of the twisting threads of time travel in this first volume, but the hook is compelling and Gianfelice's art is beautiful, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the series progress!

Spoiler Alert (Olivia Dade, 2020) - at this point I've written 8000+ words about this book on my patreon and it's becoming difficult to figure out what else to say or how to say it briefly. this book ties itself up in knots with its contrivances and makes both of its protagonists look dumb in the process. I don't like either of these people but - spoiler alert! - I still think April can and should do better. Olivia Dade please call me I just want to talk.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 1-3 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Yen Press, 2017) - I don't need to explain Dungeon Meshi. surely you've seen the gifs of Dungeon Meshi. all that matters is that I fucking love Dungeon Meshi, this shit rules and it's going to be so hard to hold off on reading Volume 4 while I try to prioritize some other books first. this world is great, the characters are a delight and a joy, and the way that Kui is so fascinated by the food and biology and exploration of adventurer fantasy tropes in her world makes my brain go wheeeeeeeeee!!! I'm having so much fun.

The Fifth Season (N.K. Jemisin, 2015) - historically I've very seldom reread books, but I'm starting to think that I need to change my stance on that. revisiting the Fifth Season years after I first read it, with the time to really enjoy it and also the maturity and perspective to actually appreciate what Jemisin is cooking, has enhanced the experience immeasurably. a thing that really struck me this time was how artfully Jemisin depicts the way orogenes are conditioned and groomed from the jump to be subservient and scared and willing to settle for life at the margins of society; it's not something that I could totally understand the nuances of when I read this book fresh out of my first year of college. this novel and its sequels are so brilliantly devastating, I cannot say enough great things about them.

My Pancreas Broke, But My Life Got Better (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2022) - I did it, I'm officially caught up on all of Nagata's works that have been translated into English! and man, I'm still worried about her. the experience of reading My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness hasn't quite been replicated for me; I think that was a once in a lifetime event, although I've certainly found a lot that I relate to in Nagata's subsequent struggles to sort of out anxiety, independence, art, and figuring out what kind of relationships she event wants to have in her life. at this point I feel like I'm just reading the illustrated life updates from a friend I haven't seen in a long time who stresses me out because her life is a mess. which is still interesting! but god I hope something good happens to this woman soon.

The Obelisk Gate (N.K. Jemisin, 2016) - The Fifth Season is a book about the end of the world and of one woman's personal apocalypses that happened prior to that. its sequel, the Obelisk Gate, is a book that's extremely preoccupied with the tedium of figuring out how to run a halfway-functioning society in the midst of the apocalypse, which is genuinely fascinating stuff. and it's also a book about the fear and desperation and sheer levels of exhaustion that might drive someone to decide that, fuck it, maybe the world should end and we should be done with all of this, actually. it's also a book about devotion and dependence and destruction and devouring people you love in a VERY literal way, which it must be said is pretty sexy. the stuff that pops off between Essun and Hoa in this book makes me think of Octavia Butler in the best way; I think she would have adored them. I'm so excited to get to the final book and see how this all pays off, because the first time I read it I barely understood a single goddamn thing that was happening.

I Hate This Place Vol. 1-2 (Kyle Starks, Artyom Toplin, Lee Loughridge, 2022-2023) - a short and spooky comic series that wraps up in two tight little volumes. I have some gripes with the pacing, but it makes for a fun afternoon read. a mid-tier streaming service is going to adapt this into a live action series within a couple of years, mark my worms. personally I'm fancasting Mackenzie Davis as Gabby and Samira Wiley as Trudy.

[bat-in-the-valley]

God I’m so obsessed with Harvey.. I haven’t written a fic in like a year and I don’t think I’ve ever written smut, please excuse how terrible this is about to be. Takes place during the 10 heart event. Sorry if I still write like a 12 year old wattpad kid. Images not mine

18+ nsfw below the cut TW: Oral both m and f receiving, cringe, fingering, dirty talk slightly, reader is described as wearing a dress and having a vagina.

It had been about six months since you moved into the valley. Usually you had a hard time making friends but you had quickly integrated into life in Pelican Town. You had even managed to woo the town doctor. This morning you woke to a letter from your boyfriend asking you to meet him at the railroad tracks south of town.

As you approached the tracks he told you that you were just in time as a hot air balloon landed next to you. The portly little man who stepped out of the balloon told you that you had two hours and that he would be at the saloon. You wondered if it was hard to pilot a hot air balloon while drunk. You brushed off the thought as Harvey lead you into the balloon, “I thought you were afraid of heights?” You asked worried for your sweet boyfriend.

“I am yeah… but I’m determined not to let that stop me from doing what I want. I’ll try not to be scared.” As soon as the balloon started to lift he was right next to you, his head crooked into your neck. His beard and hair tickled your face and neck, you could smell coffee and cologne on him. He smelled like the forest sandalwood and wildflowers. The setting sun glowed on his skin the orange light bouncing off of his green eyes. “It really is beautiful up here, you can see the whole town. Everyone looks like little ants busily scurrying about their business,” he said. “I can see the farm, it still looks so overgrown. It’s been really difficult cleaning it up,” you sighed. He grabbed your hand, you could feel him shaking as he tried to suppress his fears. “Things take time, my love. Rome wasn’t build in a day.” Harvey chuckled.

You looked up at him, admiring his face… honestly you really wanted to sit on it. “Honey… could I maybe help with your nerves?” You asked, pecking him lightly on the lips feeling the tickle of his neatly trimmed mustache. “How would you like to do that, Darling?” He flushed. “Do you want me to show you? It’ll certainly take your mind off of things,” You teased. His adam’s apple bobbed as he nodded his okay. You kissed him once again, your hand behind his head pulling him in deeper and playing in his soft hair. He groaned into your mouth, you could feel the anticipation in the air. Slowly you started to kiss down his jaw, his neck down his body taking your time to get to where he really wanted you.

You pressed kisses down his stomach, his thighs and over his still clothed erection. You unbuttoned and unzipped his pants pulling them down with his boxers allowing his shaft to spring to life. He looked down at you, eyes half lidded and full of desire. Slowly you stroked him feeling him flinch at the touch of your hand. You could tell he was trying to keep quiet, his teeth bit his lip till it bled. You took him in your mouth slowly bobbing your head, he became undone mewling your name. “Holy Yoba… fuck- darling.” He panted. What you couldn’t take in your mouth you pumped with your hand, wanting to make him feel the best you could. As you kept up your relentless pace his sounds became louder. He started to shake, “baby I’m gonna- cu” He was cut off by his sharp intake of breath as the warm fluids filled your mouth and trickled down your chin. You swallowed but before you could clean yourself up Harvey pulled you up to kiss him. His fluids were still on your face, he could taste himself on you and his mustache became damp.

“I don’t think it would be fair if I was the only one to cum tonight…” He growled, pushing you to the floor. Your dress you picked to impress him splayed up revealing your lace underwear. There was a damp patch where your desire pooled. Harvey’s fingers looped under his fingers scraping your skin stoking the fire that burned within your belly. You whined, “please, please touch me.” He leans to kiss you again, trailing down your neck, kissing over your clothed nipples. His fingers draw circles on your thigh intentionally torturing you.

Harvey ran his finger down the slit of your entrance, kissing your jaw and smiling into your skin when you flinched at his touch. His mouth found its way to your clit where he nipped and sucked causing you to buck your hips up to his face. He licked first in small focused circles around your aching clit and then in long flat strips down your entire vulva. You moaned and screamed his name out to the heavens, certain the whole town could hear who you belonged to. “Hush baby, you wouldn’t want the whole town to know how I’ve ruined you. Or would you? Is that what you want for everyone to know who can make you feel this way?” He teased. Harvey’s middle finger entered you making wet noises as he thrusted it into you at a slow pace. His mouth connected to your clit again, as he entered another finger. You felt the knot in your stomach tighten as he kept a ruthless pace. You felt the pleasure coming in waves through your whole body. Your legs began to shake as he held it with his strong arms face still deep in you like a starving man. Your vision blurred as you reached your climax, your release thundered through your body and he kept his pace as you rode it out.

After you both hand finished you helped each other back into your clothes trying to make it look like nothing had happened. Harvey glanced at his watch, “Oh Yoba, we’re thirty minutes late. How do we get down?”

[absolute-flaming-trash]

A late night drive ( rainy weather ) with Hisoka

P.S. Your fics were the first ones I read in the yandere genre and boii did you get me hooked ...

Okay, a few things:

I am incredibly flattered, I'm so happy you enjoyed my work that much that it got you hooked on the genre!

I did see the second ask you sent, and I'm sorry, the extra context didn't really work for what I had in mind for the theme of this event, but I see you fam.

I hope you enjoy what came of this! I kinda went off...

Warnings: Yandere, Kidnapped reader, Stockholm syndrome, Hisoka is a bit of a dick but no more than usual.

Word Count: 836

There were two major things that surprised you when it came to Hisoka.

For all his extravagance, he liked things simple. For all the flair and dramatics, he was a bit of a minimalist.

It showed the most in his floor at Heaven’s Arena, although you supposed that made sense. Those weren’t meant to be permanent places of residence in the first place, but many still decorated them as if they were - adding personal touches where they could.

When you asked why he never did, he said that sentimental value was a waste of time.

Something you found ironic considering the status and nature of your relationship - a note which you kept that to yourself, but that led into the second thing that surprised you about him.

Hisoka, for all intents and purposes, could be remarkably normal when he wanted to be.

You weren’t a fool, however, acknowledging this likely came with his natural charm and charisma, but at times it felt… different. Genuine, even at times. A shame that it was also mixed with some form of deceit on the majority of occasions.

A sensation you were experiencing again as you sat in his car, watching raindrops stream along the passenger side window.

It was a quiet night, hardly any other cars out on the road. Something you liked, in full honesty, the way water distorted the headlights and tail lights of cars in the dark of night often gave you a bit of a headache.

“You’re spacing out again. ~♤” Came his comment from beside you.

“Am I?” You lifted your chin from your hand to look at him.

He smiled. “You always get such a cute look on your face when you do that. ~♡

“What are you thinking about? ~♧”

“You.” There was no incentive to lie, considering Hisoka would see through it in a heartbeat.

His expression morphed into one of brief excitement before falling into intrigue. “Oh? ~♧” He coaxed as he changed gears, slowing the vehicle to pass through a mildly flooded part of the road.

You returned your gaze to the window. “You continue to be a bit of a mystery to me.”

He chuckled. “In what way? ~♢”

“I never took you as the type to enjoy this sort of thing.” You glanced back at him from the corner of your eye, “Don’t you find it horribly boring?”

“Not at all. ~♡” He replied, but he did not elaborate further.

A small grunt left the back of your throat. “Ever the divulger of information.”

That earned another laugh. “I could say the same for you, my dear. ~♤”

“Not like that matters.” You exhaled a bit heavier than you meant to. “You seem to know things about me before I know them myself.”

“Observation isn’t a crime, darling. ~♢”

“No, but kidnapping is.”

He hummed, a knowing smile working its way onto his face as he turned onto a new street. “The doors are unlocked, you can leave at any time. ~♢”

It was your turn to laugh then, the titter laced with disbelief. “They are, but that’s just another one of your illusions, isn’t it?”

He tilted his head, glancing at you in a silent goad for you to continue before returning his attention back to the road.

“If I was foolish enough to actually try and open this door, I feel like one of two things would happen.” You began, “Either the door would not open for another reason, or I would go to jump out of this vehicle only to be yanked back inside by that infuriating aura of yours.

“You keep taking me on these drives as what? A test of loyalty mascaraded as an opportunity to spend time with me? I wasn’t born yesterday, Hiso.” The nickname slipped from your lips before you could catch yourself and it only made his smile widen further.

You looked back out the window.

“Someone’s feisty. ~♡”

“Someone’s irritating.”

Another chuckle. “Aren’t you going to ask me which of your assumptions is the correct one? ~♧”

“I’d have better luck climbing the Arena freehanded than getting a straight answer from you.”

“Come now, don’t be so dramatic. ~♤” He chided. “Come on. Ask. ~♢”

“Fine.” You relented with a scoff, turning your body in your seat better to face him. “Which one is right?”

“Neither. ~♢” He flicked the windshield wipers onto a higher speed as the rain got heavier - a tempo that was mirrored by your heartrate. “There are no strings attached, to you or the car. ~♧”

You blinked. “You’re such a liar.”

“Am I? ~♢”

“Yes.”

“Then why haven’t you tried already? If you’re so insistent that your logic is correct, surely desperation alone would have led you to try regardless. ~♧”

You opened your mouth to reply but promptly shut it, bitterness mixing in your heart too much to admit that he was right.

The displeased expression on your face changed into a grimace when you felt his hand on your thigh.

“I don’t need to test your loyalty, my dear. Not when I know where it already lies. ~♢”

© absolute-flaming-trash 2023. Do not repost, modify, copy, or claim.

[turtleblogatlast]

I will never be over Leo’s 4D chess play in “Many Unhappy Returns”. Like, just in general it is a spectacle to see this character who we’ve seen goofing around time and time again, who’s only sometimes decided to take things seriously, only to show him making a maneuver like that.

And here’s what gets me the most about his plan against Big Mama: he comes up with it on the spot. The second he sees that Big Mama has the solution they need, he’s already in game mode.

It is so satisfying watching the episode back when you realize his plan, because he literally sets the stage entirely for a decisive victory. He sees that the champion is a kraken, and comes up with both the solution to defeating it and a reasonable excuse to get that solution into the battle with them on the fly:

“Like your champ aaand those six guys. In fact, we don’t want this over too quickly. You should armor up those rookies. The whole shebang. Especially with these pointy helmets.”

And this is why giving him teleportation powers is perfect, too. He analyzes the battlefield and makes use of all the assets, moving pieces around to guarantee a win. It is honestly so impressive to witness and one of my favorite parts of his character.

[aimasup]

throws up my hands in mock resignation but also a hint of frustration Okay Valentino is a cool villain I guess

He's like. Genuinely unsettling. Wish the show struck a better balance with his character sometimes (like sometimes when he's onscreen I have to skip over because I feel queasy and sometimes he's so unsubtle he feels more like a prop than a guy who's going to be a Huge Deal in s2)

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Points at you. 10 and/or 11 for starstruck?

Two starstruck asks,,,,,,joy of joys,,

Part of an ask game linked here.

#10. What's an au you have for them?

Since them meeting at all is technically an AU i have 3 different ways that they do meet up. There's the one where Juniper ends up with the agency/adjacent to and ends up working with Reggie (have written a fic with this). The next one is Juniper surviving but basically going stealth and living as normal of a life as he can and ending up meeting Reggie through chance (most recent fic I've written). And then there's my personal favourite where Reginald "You're lucky my tracking skills are still up to snuff" Crane keeping himself busy after Phoenix was MIA and finding Juniper still alive (fic I want to write but haven't started mainly because it may end up multi chapter).

In terms of more AU canon bending taking them and putting them in a completely unrelated situation...I have a guilty pleasure Warrior Cats AU for IEYTD in general. Both JJ and Reggie have perfect warrior cats suffixes in their names already (Juniper and Crane) so they're called Junipersong (charcoal bengal) and Craneflight (tabby Norwegian forest cat). It's very silly but the amount of scenes I have in my mind for it...good lord...

#11. How was their first kiss like?

Augh my friend Imp wrote an absolutely excellent fic about it (tragically in the realm of unfinished Google docs) and I'm shaking their hand about it so hard. Basically Juniper kissing Reggie but he like wasn't ready/fully expecting it and Juniper absolutely panicking because he thinks he's misread every interaction between them both since they got closer. The second one is much sweeter though,,

[whereflowerswenttodie]

yall, okay, everytime i try to read notes from underground, i feel strangely targeted, like how’s this man from centuries ago writing so well about me, but the men i’m close to do not understand shit about me???

[perenlop]

well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place

[pyr0graves]

absolutely devastated cause my favorite fucking x reader fic Vista Alegre got deleted from the face of the earth anyways i'm gonna go make fanart for another chapter to cope 😎👍

[winepresswrath]

Actually I think Antoinette deserves to get in on killing Lestat but that was either an absolutely genius example of Louis POV or the laziest and most disinterested attempt at character writing I have ever seen in my life.

[pierswife]

Low quality Trand is my mood rn

[rosesradio]

.

[crazywolf828]

Damn so does this mean you can't write dragon fucking fic until you find and have fun with a dragon?

And that means I also can't draw this... Guess we have to search for a dragon now

Aw fuck you're right! Anon, look at what you've done. Now we can't write/draw the dragon fucking fic until after I get railed by a dragon too 😭

[gallusrostromegalus]

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.

Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.

There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.

I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.

However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."

For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."

I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."

Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.

The Gods were not merciful today.

It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.

Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.

So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.

The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.

My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.

Which is when the hail begins.

"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"

I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.

So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.

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