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princessofprocrastination · 3 years

Note

request because i adore the way you write angst to fluff, but maybe a just the reader and cc (whoever you prefer) getting into an argument, voices are raised or regretful things are said and cc has to fight to win back reader? idk just an idea for writers block!

have a good day :)

You’re Leaving Me (Sapnap)

this story fast forwards to the future a little, getting after 2021!

pairing : sapnap x fem!reader

summary : voices were raised when you were concerned about where you relationship is going. all this just to know if you were going to be in his future. was it worth the argument?

a/n : dude i fucking love you for sending this request. this def helped me :))))

"when are you coming back?" you asked your boyfriend of 3 years now.

he shrugged his shoulders. "i didn't think that far yet." he told you, eyes not meeting yours, busy packing his suitcase.

"what?" your voice slightly raised. you flinched at your own tone. "you mean to tell me you bought a one-way ticket to florida and didn't think about coming home?"

"i'll come home, just don't know when." he tells you, glancing at you to see your reaction.

okay, let's back track. sapnap, and you met at a dinner your mom hosted. her colleague, sapnap’s mom and her got close and shared some personal family details, one of which being that they had a kid, both around the same age, addicted to their electronics.

both moms hadn't thought that you two would get so close, you being uncomfortable in meeting new people, and him being socially awkward.

but, not even a while later, you two were inseparable and soon started dating.

and now, that boyfriend that you were once attached to the hip to had just told you that he had bought a ticket to florida to visit his friend, dream, and didn't have a ticket back.

you had nothing against dream, you two had spoken a while back in a light-hearted conversation, exchanging a couple of jokes here and there.

"you were the one who told me to visit him." sapnap tells you, exasperated.

yes, you had been the one to encourage him to go to florida. it would be good for him to have a change of scenery. you told him to think of it like a mini vacation, the borders finally opening again. you thought it was a great idea.

but you hadn't thought he wouldn't come back for a while. that's not what you wanted, at all.

"yes, i did, but i wanted you to come back after like 2 weeks." your hands brought to your face to ease the headache you suddenly got.

"you're being stupid." your boyfriend tells you.

you drop your hands to your lap, a small slap sound emitted from the action. "i'm being stupid? all i want is you to have a break. a short break, and then come back." you told him honestly. you were tired of the argument at this point.

"and what i want is to stay with my best friend for a while. stop being selfish." he scoffs.

you stayed quiet, trying to reorganise your thoughts before the argument turns big for no reason.

the air turns more tense by the minute. the quiet turns eerie at one point, the only sounds are you two breathing.

to be honest, you couldn't remember how you two got here. how it got this bad. but as you thought this situation is bad, it got worse. and it had been because of the next question you asked.

"where are we going with this?" you finally say something- well, more like asked. "this relationship, where are we going with it?"

you heard his breath hitch, albeit quiet, you still heard it. "what?" he scoffs once again.

"you're leaving me, for god knows how long, so i'm asking, where is this going?" you were done with questioning yourself everyday. this conversation had been way too long overdue.

and if the two of you were going to argue, might as well argue about something else, too. and something that was important.

“this is irrelevant.” he tells you, continuing to pack his suitcase on the floor. you look down at him, you being sat on his bed and him being on the floor, legs crossed, folding his clothes.

“no, it’s not.” you tell him, this time more seriously. you were sick and tired of being asked what is going to be your next move, being 20 and had been dating for a while.

some would say you two are too young to take the next step in anything, or even have this conversation, but you and him had always taken the express train in things.

“i just want answers.” you sighed. “you could come back next week, next month, hell, even next year. and i just want to know where this is going.” you pulled your legs to cross them on his bed.

“i’m not leaving you, i’m coming back to you, all i’m doing is going to meet my best friend.” his tone more serious now.

“which means you’re leaving me. and i’m terrified.” you told him, seriously. “we’ve been together for 3 years, since we were in highschool.”

“it’s only been 3 years.” he laughed. “what’s the rush.”

“we’re both working. sure, we’re both taking online classes, but, what’s not to rush about?” you say.

“you’re being ridiculous.” he rolls his eyes at your last statement.

okay, you might be exaggerating. but you weren’t telling him to get hitched, you were asking him what comes after this? moving in together?

“i just want to know what happens after this, after you leave.” your shoulders slumped down, you knew he was going to get mad soon, his temper already rising.

“for god’s sake, i’m not leaving you. i will come back, i just don’t know when.” he screams. “stop fucking asking, i’m getting a headache.”

your eyes widen slightly. no, you didn’t flinch. you knew this would happen, anyways.

“all i want to know is what’s in for the both of us. give me something to hold on to after you leave for florida.” your voice small, yet still pushing for an answer.

“oh my fucking god.” he says, his voice full of malice, which made your goosebumps rise. “i don’t want to marry you, what part of that do you not understand.” he raises his voice slightly towards the end of his sentence.

“do you get it now, my silence. i don’t want you to move in with me, i don’t want to propose, i don’t want to marry you. i don’t want kids with you.” he finally looks you in the eye.

the air turned tense once again as you became quiet.

“yeah, i get it.” you finally speak up.

you took your phone and stood up from your position from his bed and went near him on the floor.

“thank you for being honest to me.” you bent down to him, giving him a last kiss on the cheek.

you walked to his bedroom door to walk out before glancing at him one last time. “i love you.” you told him for the last time.

you wanted to let him know that you didn’t leave because you lost feelings, but more like because having a more serious relationship is not what he had wanted, and you respected it.

you took your bag from the couch outside, telling his mom that you were going to go home, giving her a kiss on the cheek and thanking her for the dinner you made for you earlier. that was probably the last time you’d talk to her, too.

sapnap was still seated on the floor, hand in the air, holding a piece of clothing he was meant to fold before you kissed him on the cheek.

he knew what it meant. the kiss, and the “i love you.”

and that terrified him. what did he just do?

fast forward to more than a year later, you were thriving, if you said so yourself.

you quit your job, deciding to finish your double major in college before starting to work again. you took in as many classes as possible, during the summer and winter breaks and extra classes to graduate as early as possible.

after that eventful day, you spilled everything to your mom. you sobbed on her shoulders. she comforted you through the entirety of your breakdowns.

she was one to thank of your success now.

she cried when you graduated, being the most proud of you for finally finishing college and being able to do what you love.

with that double major, you only decided to be a flight attendant. always wanted to be one, you were happy to hear back from one of the most prestigious airlines in the world.

and now, you were happy and healthy again.

and here you are now, sitting at a table, with your parents and your ex boyfriend’s parents.

at first when you met his mom again after he had left for florida, it was awkward and weird. you didn’t know if she knew if he had even told him.

but she assured you that she knew and to not feel uncomfortable with her just because of her son. and with that information, you started talking to her again comfortably.

‘fuck, i’m nervous.” he told his tall friend.

his friend chuckles. “you’ll be just fine.” he assures his texan friend.

the taller man looks out into the restaurant booth that the two families were sitting at to peek. “holy fuck.” he lets out.

“what? what?” the shorter man in a suit asks repeatedly in panic.

“man, she was hot before but she is smokin’ now.” the floridian says. “i hope you mess up, now.” he jokes.

“shut up, dude.” the texan says, now more nervous. he had seen a couple photos of you that his mom sent him and his friend was right, you did get more attractive, and he didn’t even think that was possible, given how already beautiful you were from a year ago.

“this is a bad idea.” sapnap says after a while of silence.

his tall friend turns to him. “what are you talking about? no, it isn’t. you’ve thought about this for over a year now.” he says to his friend as assurance.

“yeah but she won’t just take me back.” he sighs out. “it has been over a year. i just left her.”

the two fell into a comfortable silence, both not knowing what else to say. dream knew better than to say anything, he learnt to let his friend let it all out.

“that last kiss, that last ‘i love you’, plays in my head over and over again from the day she left my house.” sapnap says after a while. he needed to let out his frustration about himself one last time to gain the balls to talk to you again.

“and as much as i regretted screaming at her, telling her i didn’t want to have a life with her, i let her go. i tensed up and stayed on the floor and i let her go.” he continues.

“and almost 2 years later, i just come back? what kind of person does that to a woman so perfect? all she wanted to know was if she was in my future, like how i was in hers.” the texan 22 year old finishes.

his shoulders slumped lower than before before stretching his tense muscles and giving himself a pep talk in his head to go talk to you.

dream glanced at his obviously nervous friend. “again, you’ll be just fine.” he says to the man fiddling with a red box.

“she’ll say no.” sapnap says, exasperated, trying to understand why he’s here again.

“with your charming looks? no chance.” the tall man jokes light-heartedly. “look, we both know you thought about this for a long time now, and now is not the time to back off from it. you spent a lot of money and effort for this. now what’s left for you to do is ask.” he says.

“right, right. just ask.” he mutters to himself. he prayed silently to all the gods above that he got the private booth instead of one in the middle of the restaurant. he wouldn’t want you to feel obliged to accept him just because you don’t want him to feel embarrassed.

he walks out of his hiding spot, not before dream giving him a comforting pat on the back.

he fiddles with the box in his hands before putting it back into his suit pocket to hide it.

the closer he gets to you, the more he gets to see how much you’ve changed. you looked elegant in your dress, in his favourite shade of red. you looked collected and mature.

“okay, here i go.” he told himself before approaching your table.

“hey.” he said slowly and quietly, hoping he didn’t startle you but loud enough that you heard him so he didn’t need to repeat himself.

he could see his mom and yours giving him the biggest smiles or assurance. of course both your parents knew. he needed to ask for permission, anyways. they were supportive of him, but ultimately, it’s up to you.

his breath hitched as you turn your head to look at him, wondering how greeted the table.

“she’s even more beautiful in real life.” he thought to himself.

you were sipping on champagne when you heard someone greet you. as you turn and put the glass down, you were shocked to see your ex boyfriend.

a more attractive version of your ex boyfriend.

his face more mature, the suit he was wearing fit perfectly on his body. but you could still see how tired he looked. his sunken eyes were too obvious for you to ignore.

the table grew tired. you glanced at your family, trying to see if they knew this was happening, if are just as confused as you are.

but they were smiling. sly jerks.

you turn back to the man you haven’t seen since that day you left his house.

“i know, this is shocking to you. we haven’t seen each in almost 2 years.” he starts saying. “and i know i have no right to be here after i let go of you.” he sighs.

“but ever since that day, i have been kicking myself for being so stupid to even think that i could live without you even for another second.”

you open your mouth to say something before he cuts you off before you could even utter a word.

“i know, i still left for florida and i still stayed there for a long time. i didn’t even call, i didn’t text. and i feel terrible.” he comes closer to you.

“i said terrible things to you, when all you wanted to know was what i had in store for the both of us in the future. all you wanted was something to hold on to until i came back to texas to you.” he says, eyes teary. “i got to see you grow to be a more wonderful and smart woman over the year, thanks to my mom for sending me your updates.”

“and i see that you’re great without me. you have this amazing job and amazing friends and an amazing family who supports you through whatever you want to do.” he tells you, looking you in the eye. he looked extremely nervous, hands shaking as he goes to take your hands into his.

you stayed sat down, not knowing what to say. and at some point, you didn’t know when, you started crying silently, slow tears going down your cheeks.

you took one of your hands away from his to wipe away the tear before holding his hand again. this gave him a little bit of hope for the next thing he was going to do.

“and i know this is late, but i do want you to be in my future. but i just hope there is still space in yours for me to be in.” he kneels down on one knee as he finishes.

you tense up, eyes widened. slowly, your mouth opened and you took your hands to cover it. this is definitely not what you had expected to happen today.

you look at him as he reaches in his suit pocket to take out an elegant looking red box, with pretty gold swirls on the top. he opens the box for you to see the prettiest ring you’ve ever seen.

the ring that you’ve saved multiple times on your pinterest board. the ring you’ve told your mom you fell in love with.

the ring of your dreams.

“so i guess this is when i ask the question.” he inhales through his mouth and exhales out of his nose. his hands start to shake as he holds the box.

“will you marry me?” he finally asks the question. your eyes staring into his, tears still flowing, but you don’t bother to wipe away.

“um. you can say no, i’m sorry if this was too invasi-” he talks but is cut off by you.

“yes.” you say once, still not believing that this was happening. he looks at you to make sure he heard it right.

“say that again.” he says quietly.

“yes, i’ll marry you.” you tell him before he smiles brightly. he takes the ring out of the box and takes your left hand, sliding it on your bare finger.

he admires the glimmer of the ring under the restaurant lights and the ring being on your finger before he kisses your hand and takes you into his embrace. he gives you a tight squeeze before pulling you back to finally give you a kiss on the lips.

“fucking finally.” you heard a familiar voice say.

“shut up, dream.” you heard your now fiancé, say, not looking at him but still looking at you with his dreamy eyes and the dreamy look he has on his face.

you heard applaud going on in the restaurant as the people in the start to notice the romantic atmosphere.

sapnap stands up and pulls you up to stand with him as he hug your tight once again, this time staying that way for a while to busk in your scent that he had missed so much.

after a while, the two of you detach and hug your families. you notice the tall man in a classy white button up and black pants and shiny shoes standing there.

you give him a hug before talking. “nice to finally meet you, dream.” you say to him.

“alright cuties, let’s take pictures of you and that beautiful ring.” your mom says.

to which you remembered about the ring. you look down at your hands, admiring it for a while before turning to sapnap.

“you are so sneaky.” you told him.

“i know. tell me i did good.” he tells you before pulling you in by your waist.

“you did amazing.” you say before kissing him on the cheek.

“i love you.” he says to you before kissing your forehead and turning to look at the camera when your mom called for another pose.

what a day.

#sapnap #sapnap imagines #sapnap imagine #sapnap x reader #Dream Team

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r1ntaros · 3 years

Text

Sweet Escape // Choi San [1]

[1] [2]

Pairing: mafia boss!san x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, mafia au

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: cursing, mentions of weapons and threats, sexual innuendos stated

Summary: Realizing that he's dealt enough with his actual life, he decided to have a 3 month escape from everything only to realize that he missed a lot of things on the world different from what he's used to. Unfortunately for him, he only has 3 months of living the surreal life he's experienced with the knowledge that he has to let it go all at once.

Author's Note: Been staying on my drafts for too long so I decided to publish this as my first fic of the year after being away from this blog since 01/01 >.< This fic will be divided into 2 or 3 parts heehee. Enjoy reading and a feedback would be so appreciated, thank youuuuu!! <3

Masterlist

When you hear that name, a lot of things come to people's mind. Everyone always has something to tell about him. To those who don't know him, they classify him as a disgrace to the society, a headache to the government, a vicious, merciless and aggressive killer, or someone who holds no remorse when dealing with things that come in his way.

However, those who he know personally classify him as someone who does nothing but whine until he gets to eat the food he wants, someone who’s competitive when it comes to playing online games or his streetrace matches, a person who cares about the well-being of the people of their society that he’s trying to obliterate every single nasty person in the government (but no one has to know that aside from him, his seven fellow superiorities and the men under him.)

And probably the best thing that was told to San?

It’s probably something Wooyoung, his best friend, had said that goes like this: Sannie is nothing but a bitch to his cat. Even if Byeol just meows and spews unidentified sounds he’s probably drowning in tears and buying Byeol all the cat food in the world. He’s basically her slave.

And his other best friend, Seonghwa, added, He doesn’t believe in God but goodness, if God really does exist in his vocabulary, I think San will take its existence in the form of Byeol and won’t hesitate to build a shrine made with the most expensive material to ever exist in this world.

Which, if you were to ask San, is accurately true.

But if you were to ask Choi San what he thinks about himself, he’s someone who has a deep curiosity at the ends of the world. He’s someone who doesn’t like being told what he should do, San is someone who wants to make his decisions freely. And if someone tried to take away his freedom from him, expect him to go against every decision made for him.

Which leads him to his current situation..

San is twisting the swiss knife in front of him on the unmarked mahogany table where he’s seated in front of his friends. All seven of his friends have a look of disbelief plastered in their faces as San’s father speaks in the huge meeting room.

“I’ll be stepping down from leading the empire,” San’s father said with all seriousness, “I’m getting old which is limiting me from doing such things I used to do before. I decided to pass my power to my one and only son.”

If anyone is to ever hear that, they’ll probably be happy. Beyond ecstatic even. Don’t get him wrong, he’s happy to finally lead the mafia he grew up in but he can’t help but feel on edge because he knows that’s not his father’s concluding statement.

“However, I know a lot of you are aware that a lot of people owe me their lives. A lot of them have created trades with me. Some their life or even all of their money. But years back, before my Sannie was even born, a person has offered me a great deal.”

“She’s a politician who was on the brink of losing her spot in the government. Unfortunately that time, she’s pregnant with her daughter.” San’s father laughed at the memory as he gave his son a subtle look which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

Fuck, he has a clue of what his father is going to say and he hates where this is going.

“She’s trying her best to support her that time, the baby’s father left her all alone and she’s losing all her money. Out of desperation, she offered her daughter to me which I accepted but I didn’t take her away from her own mother, I have plans for her.”

“And now that she’s retiring as a politician and I’m retiring as your boss as well,” He smiled wickedly and looked at his son’s direction. The ever so smart Choi San has his jaw clenched, hands balled tightly into a fist.

“Just go straight to the point, father.”

His father let out an amused chuckle and everyone in the room tenses in his next statement, “You’re going to marry her daughter, San.”

San could feel his anger rising through his head as he firmly states, “No.”

“You have no say in this one, San.” His father smirks, one similar to San’s and he hates it a lot. “Consider this one, the girl is beautiful, intelligent and useful. And she’s a payment to the deed her mother owes me. Isn’t that lovely?”

“Lovely your ass,” San said as he stood up, glaring at his father. The other seven men standing along with him. “I’m not going to get married and that’s fina-”

“Oh my son, you’re going to marry her daughter or else I won’t hesitate to have you killed.” His father finally has a stoic expression as he walks towards his son, towering him a bit. He held San’s jaw firmly in his hands and leaned over him, “And that’s final.” He said with finality, leaving no rooms for an argument.

San scoffed, knowing he's on the hopeless side of the situation, “Fine. But give me at least some time alone before I get married.”

His father showed a triumphant expression and nods, “I’ll give you three months to do whatever you want.”

San loves his father, he really does. But this is the time where he just wants to plant a bullet on his own father's head. Their eye contact lasted for about a minute only for him to realize that his father’s decision is final.

When his father noticed the slight vulnerability in San’s eyes, he decided to let go of his son’s jaw and scoffed, “The meeting ends here. Wedding preparations will be made by me and the future bride's mother. My leadership will be passed to my son the same day when the marriage is sealed.”

Finally, with that concluding statement everyone left the room except for San and his seven other friends. He couldn’t help but fall back in the chair he used to sit on. The other boys left in the room didn’t say anything, not wanting to frustrate or anger their friend anymore. The tension still remained in the room as they’re waiting for San to do or say something.

It seems like thirty minutes had passed when a dry chuckle left San’s lips.

“I’m fucked, aren’t I?”

Choi San as a kid always wanted to do a lot of things but he really can’t due to the nature he grew up in. He can’t go out of the house without getting in trouble or whatsoever because of his father. One thing that San had always wanted to do is to go somewhere far to forget about the life he has. He would love to travel the world with the sole purpose of enjoying, not for doing trades or escaping the mafia enemy.

And now, since he’s given three months of freedom before he ties himself in a knot with a girl he doesn’t even know, goodness, he’s not even fucking sure if his father really did give her the right description of being pretty, intelligent and useful.

Woman does not appeal to him, and he’s thinking of running away to which he knows is impossible.

Cutting him out of his thoughts, he felt a hand on his shoulder only for him to see his best friend, Seonghwa, looking at him with concerned eyes, “You’ve been downing that whiskey ever since we arrived at your place. Shouldn’t you be planning what you’re going to do for the three remaining months of being an unmarried, single man?”

He lets out a deep sigh and rubbed his hand through his face, an indication that he’s stressed, “Fucking hell, Hwa, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to get married to a girl that I don’t even know. You know how I am as a man. What if I get horny or something that I’ll end up fucking her by accident and she bears my child? I don’t want to impregnate a woman who I don’t even love!”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh, “That’s what you’re concerned about?”

San pouts as he whined, “Hwa, I’m trying to lighten up the mood with my sexual innuendos.”

“Okay horny boy, sure you do.” His best friend said and sat beside him to pour himself a whiskey in a shot glass, “But seriously speaking, San. What are you planning to do?”

He thinks about the question properly, what does he really want to do? Earlier he was thinking about running away but he’s not too sure about it. He knows that his father will do something to find him in order to pursue that god forsaken wedding.

Another deep sigh decided to escape him, “I don’t know, hyung. Maybe I’ll just stay inside and mope around with Byeol.”

As if on cue, with the mention of the cat’s name, a soft meow echoes through the walls of his kitchen as Byeol came in striding.

San laid out his arms for her to jump on but Byeol decided to betray him and jump into Seonghwa’s lap making him sigh in defeat.

“The world is against me today.” San said sympathetically which made Seonghwa giggle as he plays with Byeol’s fur.

The pair remained silent, Byeol’s soft purring was the only thing to be heard as San downs another round of his whiskey while Seonghwa looks around the kitchen. His eyes landed on San’s refrigerator where it’s filled with Carribean cruise tour flyers making an idea pop out of Seonghwa.

“Sannie,” He calls out to which he got a reply in a form of a hum, “How about you go on a Carribean cruise?”

“A Carribean cruise? But–”

“My treat.”

San lays down on the ship’s sun lounger lazily as he enjoys the warm rays of the sun penetrating through his skin. He had never felt this relaxed through the entirety of his 22 years of existence and he knows how much he’s missing out just by the single time he felt himself brighten up the moment he stepped on the cruise ship.

True to his words, Seonghwa really did pay for everything. His plane tickets, the cruise tickets, his best friend even made sure to book the biggest cabin in the ship so San can suit himself comfortably.

Another best thing about this? San is alone.

It gives him enough time to just focus on satisfying himself, not those who are around him.

He closed his eyes behind his sunglasses and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the ocean but he was suddenly curious as to why he was also able to smell something so sweet, a voice coming along with it.

“U-Uhm, excuse me?” San startled from his seat when he saw a woman in front of him, even behind his dark tinted glasses, she’s beautiful. Her soft facial features basking in the sun rays as it’s plastered with innocence. She looks at San with her curious eyes and San is drawn into it. He slightly lowered his glasses, enough for him to see her actual color. Her caramel toned skin was glowing, her white floral summer dress flowing along the wind.

Gorgeous, San settles.

The sound of throat clearing and a soft giggle cut him out of his thoughts, “Hi,” San replies, a little bit breathless, still taken away and mesmerized by this brown-eyed beauty

A giggle left her lips and San decides it’s a sound he’ll never get tired to hear, “You’ve been staring for too long, you know it’s rude right?” She said softly, but the amusement in her tone is still evident.

San can feel a blush tint through his cheeks as he suddenly felt even hotter, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just messing around.” She said and smiled then pointed at the sun lounger next to San where he placed his towel, “Just want to ask if someone is occupying this since there’s a towel..?” She said, sounding a bit unsure, then she shrugged, “Just asking if there’s someone beside you.”

“Oh no, that’s my towel. I don’t know where to place it earlier so.. yeah. It’s there.” San said as he quickly grabbed his towel out of embarrassment.

His entitlement is showing and he hates it, he’s so used to having things all by himself.

“It’s okay!” The woman happily chirps and sits down at the edge of the sun lounger beside San, “I hope you don’t mind if I occupy this one?”

“No, I don’t mind at all.” He said and smiled to which she returned.

“I’m y/n, by the way.” She said as she adjusts her position in the sun lounger reaching her hand, pointing at San’s towel for her to put where her bag is. The actions and the sudden introduction caught San off guard, how can she just give her name away and be nice to strangers? But then again, San contemplates.. he only lives once.

“San.”

“San like the mountain?”

San looked at her only to see a cute sight in front of him. Her head tilted to the side and eyes full of curiosity, he couldn’t help but smile, “Yeah, like the mountain.”

“That’s a cute name. Are you alone?” She asked once again now playing with the strings of her dress.

“Yes, I’m pretty much alone. You?”

“I’m alone as well!” She said giddily and they were suddenly enveloped with a few minutes of silence.

The waves, the engine of the ship, the people chattering on the ship and birds chirping served as their background. San was quite astonished that the silence enveloping them wasn’t an awkward one, it was calming and relaxing.

He felt a small hand touch his arm making him jump a bit and look at the girl beside him who’s smiling, “I have an idea.” She suddenly blurted out.

“Hm? And what would that be?”

She giggled, “We can be each other’s companion!” She said, full of excitement. San must’ve pulled an unsure face because her huge smile deflates a bit and she removed her hold in San’s arm.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, I’m just a mere stranger anyway.” She said sheepishly and proceeded to play with the strings of her dress when San didn’t reply.

The male, however, felt guilty for deflating his spirits. This is a one time opportunity to meet new people outside of his network. There’s nothing wrong with a company, right? Right? So he tapped her on her arm to gain her attention once again. He smiled, “I’m in.”

She beamed happily as she squealed and said loudly, “This trip is going to be one of the best trips I had and I’m claiming it!”

San couldn't help but laughed and agree in return.

And maybe, just maybe, he owes Seonghwa a thank you for bringing up the idea of this whole trip.

#ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez san #ateez mafia au #mafia!ateez #mafia!san #ateez choi san #ateez smut

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gravelyhumerus · 3 years

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Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter Seventeen

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Title: “I may just take your breath away”

Relationship: Jemily

Summary:

Exams, pizza, board games... what more could a girl ask for?

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty

“That was a lot of chess,” Emily complained, nearly chugging her latte as she and Spencer left the coffee shop.

She pulled her beanie onto her head and braced herself for the snow as the taller boy held the door open for her. Emily almost slipped on the slushy tile floor on her way out but managed to keep her balance.

“Fifteen of the multiple-choice questions to be precise,” Spencer replied. The salted sidewalk crunched under their feet as they made their way across campus.

“I’m so glad it’s finally over,” she admitted. “I think I’ve had enough philosophy to last me a lifetime.”

“I’m enrolled in ‘Minds and Machines’ next semester,” he said. “I think I might try and get a double minor this time around.”

“What’s the goal? Three PhDs by the time you’re 24?” Emily quipped.

He was well on his way, having completed his engineering degree before she managed to graduate high school. He was 17, only two years younger than her, but somehow seemed like a kid. A kid with more education crammed into his brain than she could ever master in her life.

“Something like that,” he replied with a smile. His hair was getting long and he had tied it back during the exam. With last names starting with P and R, they were seated near each other in the large exam hall, and she glanced over at him as he fussed with his hair.

They stopped at the red light, watching as the cars and busses wooshed past them, sending the slush flying into the snowbanks. It had been a fairly sunny day, but bitterly cold. Now, the sun was setting and the campus was bathed in a warm golden glow. The snow had fallen the night before, leaving fluffy white snow covering their campus.

Emily had spent most of the day holed up in the library with Spencer, with him quizzing her on fallacies and philosophers. With his eidetic memory, he only really needed to read the material once. Earlier in the semester, she did feel useful when it came to editing each other’s essays. He always got bogged down with detail, word vomiting everything he knew, and she helped him with his structure and argumentation.

More studying awaited her back in her room. She rubbed at the back of her neck as she thought about the upcoming evening spent hunched over her desk studying criminal justice, a subject that left her questioning her degree half the time as she was forced to learn about the muddled ethics of justice.

That week, she had survived on minimal sleep, eating mostly bagels and coffee to sustain her. Her body was protesting with each step, and she had suffered from a constant tension headache for as long as she remembered. At least her college had that golden retriever walk around at the library yesterday, she thought to herself, sarcastically. Animal therapy definitely relieved all her stress. As if petting a dog for five minutes would fix the anxiety of finals season.

Two more exams, she reminded herself. You’ll make it.

Despite this mantra, Emily was conflicted. While finals were killing her, the end of the semester also meant winter break. Emily would be forced to go “home” for the holidays. For most college students, that meant going back to their respective towns and being surrounded by their loved ones. Emily, on the other hand, didn’t have anywhere she called home. Last winter break, her mom had at least been in DC, and Emily was able to catch up with some of her international school friends who were in the city. This time, her mom was stationed in London, and Emily knew she’d be roped back into her old life. She didn’t know anyone there and knew most of her break would be spent alone.

The last place she had called home was Rome, and now that was tarnished by her complicated past with that city.

Emily was good at being alone. Being an only child of a workaholic single mom meant she learned to keep her own company. She read a lot. She got good at running away, escaping her nannies, and skirting security in order to roam free. She’d be fine.

The problem was that Emily had gotten used to this. She rarely spent a moment alone these days. Whether it was walking to class with Spencer, or Hotch, or Derek, getting lunch with the team, surprise coffee dates with Penelope and spending almost every evening with her girlfriend, she hadn’t been left alone in ages. She didn’t miss it.

Their residence building had a warm yellow light shining out of the windows and a soft red brick facade. In the summer, ivy grew up the south facing side but in the winter, the ledges were covered in snow and the stone steps were slippery. She trudged forward, excited for the warm embrace of the dorm.

Spencer had other plans. He reached into the garish yellow plastic newspaper box that was stationed next to their doorway and retrieved this week’s newspaper.

“Come on Reid,” Emily said. “Just subscribe to the newsletter or something like the rest of us.”

He held up the cover to her in surprise. Usually it reported the news of a recent sports victory, or a change of policy announced by the administrators, or even a fun event held on campus. Sometimes there was even a dramatic protest or an important speaker coming to campus. But this week, the headline surprised her. In large font printed across the page read: “Multiple student politicians fired amid financial scandal.”

“That sounds bad,” Emily said. It did seem way more dramatic on newsprint than on a website, so maybe Spencer was onto something with his affinity for the printed word.

Grabbing a copy for herself, she then walked inside to escape the cold. Warm air greeted them as they entered their residence hall, and both students kicked the snow off their boots before trudging up the stairs. They read as they walked, but the route to their rooms was already muscle memory, so neither worried about stumbling on their way.

Normally, Emily wouldn’t willingly touch this sort of student politics with a ten foot pole. Sure, she was involved with the Criminology council, but there was a difference between the kind of person interested in petitioning for better accessibility to faculty events or running a bake sale, and the kind of students to embezzle thousands of student dollars like what the current student government executive seemed to be accused of doing.

She quickly ran her eyes down the page, the contents jogging a memory from Halloween, of Hotch and JJ discussing the early stirrings of said scandal.

“You know,” Spencer said, “I’m surprised they got a lot of this information, it’s notoriously difficult to file FOIAs for student governments, as they’re technically private corporations. So the fact that they got these files means that this is a much bigger scandal than one might assume.”

Corruption, bribery, embezzlement, nepotism. All words that jogged memories of hiding in the corner of political fundraisers, overhearing the worst of politics from too-drunk elites sipping on their wine and munching on charcuterie.

“I hate politics,” Emily said, stuffing her copy of the paper into her bag.

“I find it interesting. It’s basically a microcosm of our current political climate. In fact, I have subscribed to the print edition of fifteen student papers in the region,” Spencer said, “I like to keep informed on the coverage of student issues, and compare them to our own.”

“Why?!” Emily said with a laugh. “You know you can just look them up online.”

Spencer gave her a withering look, and she should have known better than asking about his aversion to tech. He loathed having to use his computer, as the LCD screens apparently gave him a headache. Penelope even gave him a pair of blue light glasses to attempt to alleviate the issue.

Then, he began to speak, at length, about the dying printed news industry and why print copies were better for understanding than screens et cetera. She made sure to nod and hum at appropriate points, but her mind kept wandering.

She wondered if her girlfriend was in her room. Emily missed her any time they were apart and she yearned to hold her in her arms once again. But she shouldn’t. She needed to work. She had too much to do. Her grades had slipped, slightly, this semester. Everyone warned her about how college would be harder than high school, but no one ever warned her how much the expectations were raised in second year.

Two more exams. She clutched her coffee tighter. She’d rather do anything else besides study at this point. Her body was exhausted, her mind frazzled. She wondered if she could even manage to get through a chapter of revision before conking out on her desk.

As she said goodbye to Spencer and struggled with her keys that were tangled up in their corresponding university-branded lanyard, JJ’s door opened.

“Hey girlfriend,” JJ greeted her, sounding way too much like a straight girl greeting her platonic friend for Emily’s taste. She gave her a pass because it sounded cute in her voice.

“JJ!” Emily said, somehow surprised to see her despite the fact that she lived right across the hall. Her girlfriend was dressed in sweatpants and an oversized sweater, with her straight hair tucked behind her ears and her face bare of make up. Her face was lit up with a smile, and Emily rushed towards her, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

“Hi JJ,” Spencer said as Emily and JJ kissed.

When they pulled apart, JJ gave Spencer a smile as a greeting and asked them how their exam went.

Spencer babbled about their Logic exams for a minute or two, as Emily basked in JJ’s presence. She grabbed onto her hand and found that it was so much hotter than her own and wasn’t sure if she held on tight because she was cold, or if she had missed her girlfriend.

“I’m just glad it’s over,” Emily said. “I never want to hear about fallacies again.”

Spencer seemed to want to say something, but fell silent at Emily’s tired expression.

“Wanna come in for a bit?” JJ whispered in Emily’s ear. Apparently she said so a touch too loud because Spencer replied instead.

“Sure!” he said, and then walked into JJ and Penelope’s room.

“I should really study,” Emily tried to argue, but a single glance into JJ’s deep, blue eyes had Emily melting.

JJ’s room was much messier than Emily had last seen it. Both desks showed clear markers of the ongoing exams, with papers and books piled high. In addition to this was an assortment of pillows strewn all over the floor.

“You guys are back early!” JJ said, after checking her watch, “I thought it was a two hour exam?”

“I finished in an hour,” Spencer said, “and Emily only needed an extra half hour on top of my time.”

Damn straight, Emily thought, feeling somewhat competitive with the boy-genius despite herself.

She really should study, but the prospect of seeing her girlfriend outweighed the desire to sit hunched over a textbook for another evening.

Emily and Spencer kicked off their boots, placing them neatly on the mat by the door before peeling their jackets off and hanging them on the back of her door. Emily wasn’t sure if she liked winter. Whenever her mother was stationed in the Middle East she yearned for snow, but now that she was experiencing the Nor’easter for the first time, the desert sounded like a good time.

“Well there goes my plan,” JJ said, blowing her hair out of her face with a puff of air.

Spencer flopped onto Penelope’s neatly-made bed, collapsing into the assortment of pink pillows while carefully keeping his take-away cup upright. Emily sat down next to JJ on her bed.

“Your plan?” Emily asked.

“Yeah,” JJ said, sounding a bit shy. “I had this whole plan to make up a blanket fort here for you, and I would surprise you with it when you walked in.’”

JJ gestured with her hands at the mess. Blankets and pillows were strewn about, and a bundle of fairy lights were laying in the middle of the floor.

“Then you came back early,” JJ concluded. “Spence, I thought you’d keep her occupied longer!”

“You didn’t tell me that,” he replied. Spencer looked quizzically at her, shrugged, then took another sip of his coffee.

“I just wanted us to have a cute date night,” JJ admitted. “I know you’re so stressed, and you deserve a break.”

Emily grabbed her girlfriend’s moving hands and held them in her own. She felt overwhelmed. JJ was so… thoughtful. Caring. Attentive. So many things that were absolutely foreign to Emily. No one had ever tried to impress her like this.

“It’s okay,” Emily said. “We don’t need anything special to have a cute date night. You’re cute enough.”

JJ gave Emily a goofy smile in response.

“Okay,” JJ said. “If you say so.”

“You’re building a blanket fort?” Spencer asked. “I actually have some experience with blanket fort architecture.”

“You do?” JJ asked, raising her eyebrows skeptically.

“Of course,” he replied, seeming almost offended that she questioned him. “It sparked my interest in engineering. I wanted to overcome the problem of chair-tippage when it came to building the structure, so I devised a system of counter-weights that I found increased the structural integrity by 53%. My mom always told me that I could be an architect, but I thought the sciences better suited my intellect.”

“Oh?” Emily asked, genuinely interested. How would someone measure the structural integrity of a blanket fort?

“Actually, I have some blueprints. Let me grab them,” he said, standing up and making a move for the door.

“Of course you have blueprints,” JJ laughed.

“I should probably go feed Gideon, anyway. I’ll be right back!” Spencer said. Before closing the door behind him.

“Gideon?” Emily asked.

“His fish,” JJ said, “the one he won at the fair. It’s named after his professor, I think.”

She shrugged. The kid was weird, they tended to just accept that.

“I guess Spencer’s joining us on date night,” JJ said. “Sorry. I know you’re stressed and probably want to be studying, but I thought we’d order pizza and just have one night off. Just us. And Spencer.”

JJ planted a firm kiss on Emily’s lips, leaving her dazed and blushing.

“Relaxing sounds perfect,” Emily said, pulling her girlfriend closer to her. “I can’t believe it’s already exams. This semester has flown by. Soon it’ll be winter break, and I won’t get to see you.”

“I can’t imagine you not being right across the hall,” JJ said. “Who will give me kisses when I want them?”

JJ kissed Emily, sucking on Emily’s bottom lip slightly before pulling apart to look at her.

“I know you’re joking, but I hope you’re not kissing anybody else, no matter the circumstances.”

With that established, Emily pounced on her girlfriend, pushing her onto her bed and kissing her deeply. She intertwined her fingers in the blonde locks that were splayed out in a golden halo and breathed in deep, taking in the warm scent of the lilac candle that burnt on her night side table.

All her worries melted away at JJ’s touch. Emily’s brain was filled with the feeling of JJ’s lips on hers, with her lithe form beneath her. Exams, student politics and thoughts of home were wiped away, and her stress faded into background noise.

JJ’s pliant form writhed under Emily’s, her hands sneaking below Emily’s sweater and dancing over her back. They deepened the kiss until they were making out like teenagers in JJ’s dorm with the door still open a crack.

This was how Spencer, accompanied by Derek, found them when they pushed open the door with blanket fort blueprints and bags of potato chips in hand.

Spencer made a surprised noise, which made Emily aware of his return. She jumped up and pulled apart from JJ with a dark red blush gracing her cheeks.

“Woah there ladies,” Derek said with a laugh. “Keep it in your pants!”

“Guys! I was gone for five minutes!” Spencer whined.

Emily stood up awkwardly, stuffing her hands in her pockets as she watched JJ sit up and pat her hair down in a huff.

“Sorry,” Emily grumbled, not really meaning it. She would never be sorry for kissing JJ, but she was sorry for the awkwardness

“Pretty boy dragged me down the hall,” Derek said in explanation. He had Spencer’s rolled-up fort plans in his hand, and lightly smacked Emily’s head with it, making a comedic thwap noise as it made contact. “Hope you weren’t in the middle of something?”

“Only JJ’s legs,” Emily quipped to everyone’s surprise, even her own. JJ hit her jokingly and blushed.

“Hey!” Derek laughed, “Let’s keep this PG!”

“You called?” The voice of Penelope Garcia—PG if you will—rang out from the hallway, and within seconds JJ’s room was filled with just about all their friends standing around in a slightly awkward silence: JJ, Emily, Spencer and Derek were joined by Penelope with Hotch in tow.

The latter two of them had grown closer recently and walked into the room with white shopping bags with the walrus logo printed on the side, looking like they had just returned from out in the cold. Penelope and Hotch going thrifting together, that’s new! Emily thought to herself and decided to file the observation for later. The image of Hotch watching Penelope’s customary fashion show was enough to make her laugh under her breath.

“We’re building a blanket fort,” Spencer announced, changing the subject to the task at hand. “Are you guys helping?”

“Oh you know I will, boy genius,” Penelope said with an excited smile.

Emily looked over to her girlfriend. So much for date night.

———

Without much questioning about why they were building a blanket fort, the team got to work. In college, sometimes things just happened. Impromptu blanket forts were par the course. In their defense, any excuse to not spend the evening burying their heads in textbooks was a welcome reprieve.

It started with just a few blankets draped in the space between JJ and Penelope’s beds, but with Spencer’s instruction, a verifiable architectural marvel began to take shape.

While Emily knew that Penelope would be all gung ho for this sort of project, it was certainly amusing to see Hotch in his khakis and dress shirt crawling around on the floor like a child with the rest of them, tying off blankets and very seriously maneuvering the different parts of the structure.

Sheets were draped here and there, tied together to form ceilings and walls. Two chairs stolen from the common room, loaded with backpacks on the seat for support acted as the entrance to the fort.

While it was crawling space only, Emily had to note that there was a sense of awe when you emerged into the open space of the main fort-area. It was surprisingly big, fitting all six of them with ease. The key to the whole design was a curtain rod Hotch had stolen from the boys shower that lifted the roof up.

The design was strangely reminiscent of Baroque architecture, which she was sure was due to Spencer’s designs. This was a fact that Emily kept to herself. She always tried to rein in the ‘I lived abroad’ conversation points so her childhood could remain under minimal scrutiny.

Emily’s exhaustion transformed into excitement as she relished the time hanging out with her friends. Music played from Penelope’s computer as they worked, they began to work as a cohesive group, each member doing their share. It was nice to do something besides sit at her desk and obsess over memorizing facts and statistics, or figuring out the proper argumentation for an essay on a subject. Making sure that a bunch of blankets didn’t crash onto them was treated with the utmost seriousness, and the whole group was focused with intense concentration at their own tasks.

Spencer did, in fact, have literal sketches of blanket forts in his notebooks, but the details of which were fairly incomprehensible to her. While she believed that he did the math, his chicken scratch was just about indecipherable, and his drawing was little more than a few shapes on a page. Despite this, it was laid out on the centre of the dorm-room floor for them to reference.

At one point, as Emily stood on JJ’s wheely chair, she feared that the fort had all come crashing down as she lost her balance and grabbed at the blankets to stop her fall before tumbling onto Derek with a yelp.

“Sorry,” she muttered as she climbed back onto her feet and fought off the blanket that had wrapped her in a shroud.

She flinched as she realized she had ruined it all, a pit forming in her stomach. She looked at her friends in concern, but instead of yelling at her for her mistake, or shunning her for ruining it for the rest of them, they smiled at her and helped her up.

“It’s okay!” Spencer said cheerfully. “I know exactly how to reinforce that wall.”

“You okay, Emily?” Hotch asked, righting the wheely chair as JJ fretted over her.

“I’m good,” she answered, still confused as to why they weren’t mad at her.

Instead of making a big deal over the set back, they went back to work. Soon, the fort filled out and it returned to its former glory. Arguably, better than it was because they had draped fairy lights throughout the inside, making the space glow with a warm orange light.

Inside was filled with pillows and big enough for all of them to sit comfortably so it was a comfy lounge space. It was cozy and warm, the antithesis of the bitterly cold night air outside.

“You know what?” Hotch said. “This is a damned good fort, Reid.”

The group muttered in consensus. They all had piled into the space, and as the excitement wore off, Emily was wondering what happened next. What does one do in a blanket fort? She had vague memories of building one in her room, but she had just sat inside and read a book.

“I hear the RA’s storage room has a ton of board games,” Penelope said. “They pull them out for socials and stuff.”

“That’s all well and good, but we’re not asking Strauss to let us in,” Derek argued. “I still think she thinks we were responsible for that fire alarm last week. She’s been giving me the evil eye ever since.”

“Who said we had to tell her?” Emily said. “We could just… borrow… them…”

“I mean, they are for us to use, anyway.” JJ’s eyes had a mischievous look in them as she looked at Emily.

“That is true,” Hotch said, the scowl that was usually a fixture on his face turning to a smirk.

“That’s stealing, guys,” Spencer warned, as if they didn’t already know that.

“We’ll give them back,” Emily said with a shrug. “Come on!”

Penelope led the way to a dark wooden door on the main floor, it was labelled simply “Storage,” but the computer science student assured them that it was where the RA’s stored all of their supplies.

“It’s locked,” Penelope huffed.

“Do you have a bobby pin?” Emily asked her in a hushed voice. She wouldn’t have gotten this far if she hadn’t learned how to pick simple door locks. She had trouble with deadbolts but a simple latch she could probably do within a couple of minutes.

The blonde pulled a hot pink bobby pin out of her perfectly curled hair. Emily snapped it into two, bending one end into a longer L-shape. Sticking that into the bottom of the lock and holding it in place, she used the other side to feel for the pins that held the lock in place.

Emily could feel all eyes on her as she confidently knelt in front of the doorknob, the group keeping watch for her as she worked. No one questioned how or why Emily knew how to do this. She had her reasons.

This definitely broke all sorts of residence rules and if they got caught, they knew they’d get into shit, but no one seemed to care that much. They just wouldn’t get caught.

After a couple minutes, Emily’s hands began to sweat. What if she couldn’t do this anymore? She tried to centre herself. She had made it through infinitely more stressful situations in the past. It was the eyes of her friends on her that made her nervous. She was finally accepted by a group, and she desperately didn’t want to let them down.

Then, it clicked, and she was able to turn the brass knob easily. Emily made a noise of excitement, got to her feet and yanked the door open.

Instead of an empty storage closet, on the other side of the door was Erin Strauss, their RA, in a passionate embrace with David Rossi. Her shirt was unbuttoned and he was in the middle of sucking on her neck.

“Dave?!” Hotch called out, startling the couple.

Both groups stood stock-still, neither knowing what to say. While Emily had hid the bobby pins, she wasn’t sure who was in more trouble, them for breaking into the room or their RA for using the space for unofficial purposes.

The room was small and cramped, with a pile of poster board mostly obscuring the one small window that lit the space. Strauss had been hoisted onto the desk, her legs straddling the other student. Emily could see a shelf filled with the board games stacked on the left side of the room, but they seemed unimportant at the moment. While Emily had known about their illicit love affair, she had never expected to see it in action.

“Hey guys,” Rossi said after a moment, his unwavering confidence carrying on to this moment as he pulled apart from Strauss, who was furiously buttoning up her shirt and trying to sort herself out.

“What are you all doing in here?” she demanded, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. “This room’s meant for RA’s only.”

“Well,” Emily said, startled by her own audacity, “Dave isn’t an RA so…”

“We just came for some board games,” JJ said in her most diplomatic voice, despite clearly wanting to laugh at the situation, “then we’ll be off.”

“Take them and go,” the RA said in a strangled voice, her face beet-red and as she avoided eye contact like it was the plague.

Clearly not as embarrassed as Strauss, Rossi simply smirked, collected a few board games into his arms off of the shelf, then deposited them into Emily’s arms.

Realizing that given the circumstances, they couldn’t be picky with their choices, the stunned group thanked him then scurried away, back upstairs with their loot. The silence remained until they made it back to their floor, where they all burst into laughter.

“What on earth was that?!” Derek exclaimed.

“Rossi and Strauss,” Spencer muttered.

Emily and JJ made eye contact, remembering all those weeks ago when they had caught their friend emerging from the RA’s room down the hall in the middle of the night. They had known that Rossi and Strauss had hooked up that night, but had no idea that it was a whole relationship.

“I see it,” Hotch commented. “I mean, I don’t know your RA too well, but Rossi likes a woman with authority.”

Derek and Emily fake-gagged in an exaggerated manner at the comment.

“I think I need to bleach my eyeballs after that display,” Emily muttered.

“Ooo-kay!” JJ said, pointedly changing the subject. “It seems like we have most of the pieces to Clue… I think we could manage a game of that. We also have Scrabble, Yahtzee and Snakes and Ladders. Uh… also a pack of cards.”

“At least it’s not chess,” Emily said, thinking about her seemingly endless exam that afternoon.

“Agreed,” Spencer said.

“We do not have chess, no,” JJ said with a quizzical laugh.

———

After ordering a couple of pizzas to the dorm, they all settled in to play a board game. After a few minutes of debate, they decided to play Clue (or Cluedo as Emily continuously referred to it as). The board was laid out: it was vintage, with a teal and yellow colour scheme and some scuffs and rips showing its age. In their blanket fort, they were seated in a circle, all secretly looking at their Clue cards.

“Can I be Professor Plum?” Spencer asked before they had even gotten the pieces out of the box.

“Of course pretty boy,” Derek said, “I’ll take Mr. Green.”

“My sculpted god of thunder looks excellent in green,” Penelope flirted, choosing the white piece for herself.

“Did you know that in the original version of Clue, Mr Green was a Reverend, but they changed his name for American audience because they believed that the American public would object to a parson as a murder suspect?”

“Good thing you’re on our trivia team, Reid,” Hotch replied.

Emily was Miss Scarlet, of course, and was seated right next to JJ, who had chosen to portray Mrs. Peacock. Hotch claimed the remaining piece: Colonel Mustard.

Emily loved board games. Her nanny in France, who was a kindly elderly woman that Emily only knew as “Madame,” would play with her each Sunday after church. She has hazy memories from that time, but the warm glow of sunlight streaming into their Parisian apartment as she learned how to play Cluedo. Emily would always try to cheat, but knew better than to try to do so with her immensely observant girlfriend seated to her left, JJ’s hand resting casually on Emily’s thigh.

She looked at her cards and grinned. She had been dealt her own character, she noted, as Miss Scarlet’s name was printed in bold on the top of her first card. It felt weirdly validating to know that she herself was innocent. Also in her hands were the cards for the candlestick and pistol, as well as the observatory. She marked these off of her card and tried to gauge her opponents' reactions.

JJ was checking her phone with her cards face down, tracking the pizza’s arrival. Spencer was sprawled back, his long legs taking up way more room than was necessary, jotting down notes on some scrap paper. Presumably some statistics and probability for the possibilities of the cards that were sealed in the envelope in the centre of the board. Penelope smiled over at Derek and flirtatiously tried to sneak a peek at his hand.

After the initial rounds being dedicated to moving around the board, Emily finally made it into her first room: the lounge. There, she decided on her first suggestion.

“I suggest,” Emily said, in her most dramatic, formal voice, which was particularly suited to the role of Miss Scarlet, “that Mrs. Peacock committed this heinous crime in the Lounge with-” she hurriedly grabbed the candlestick, “the candlestick!”

She knew that it wasn’t the correct weapon, but using it would narrow it down to someone ruling out either JJ’s character or the lounge as the scene of the crime.

“Moi?!” JJ said, sounding almost offended at the accusation. “Your own girlfriend?!”

Emily grinned evilly at her, but internally she felt giddy. It was the first time she heard JJ use that word in front of their friends. JJ moved her piece into the Lounge. The others chuckled lightly at their antics.

“You have no alibi for the crime, Mrs. Peacock,” Emily said, “and I am merely making a suggestion.”

JJ glared at her, but said nothing. Emily turned to Derek, who was seated at her left.

“What do I do?” Derek asked, looking around the room, slightly confused.

“Do you have any of those cards?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah-” Derek said, moving to show his hand.

“No!” Penelope stopped him. “Just show one of your cards to Emily if you can prove her suggestion was wrong.”

He made an “o” with his mouth and sneakily showed Emily the Lounge card. Emily noted that, and that it was Derek’s card. Mrs. Peacock had yet to be proven innocent, and Emily gave JJ a suspicious glance.

She loved this game.

As the game progressed, Emily noted a few things about her opponents. A part of Emily was profiling her friends subconsciously, reading each of their strategies like a book.

Penelope always seemed to luck out on her dice rolls, covering a lot of terrain and gathering information like it was a cup of tea. But, she seemed to take it personally when someone accused Mrs. White of having killed Mr. Boddy and gasped every time someone made that suggestion.

Hotch seemed to take the game very seriously, and was at it like he was an actual police officer solving crime. But, it didn’t seem that he completely understood all of the rules, and definitely hadn’t played before, so he spent most of his turn grumbling as he skimmed the rule pamphlet.

Spencer, on the other hand, had memorized the rules, common strategies and probabilities of the different outcomes, so Hotch often looked over to him nervously as the boy wrote longhand equations in the notebook that he pulled out of his bag for the very occasion.

Derek also had never played before, and regularly made ‘accusations’ rather than ‘suggestions’ when he entered a room, frustrating Spencer to no end. But, Derek was smart and seemed to be picking it up as he went along. That was until he made the same suggestion twice in a row, both times making Hotch show him the exact same card. He asked Reid endless questions about specific rules, and more than once he made the boy double check in the rule book when Derek tried to make a rather unorthodox move.

JJ seemed to be the only one genuinely trying to have fun. She munched on the Cheetos that she stored in the bottom drawer of her night stand, and made conversation. Her strategy seemed to be exclusively focused on playing the game like it was the 1985 feature film Clue, playing the role of Mrs. Peacock with a fake accent and treating it like an actual murder-filled dinner party.

After a solid twenty minutes of gameplay, the pizza arrived. With minimal grumbling from Hotch, who was apparently on a roll, they took a break to eat.

“Did you see this?” Spencer said with his mouth full, lifting up the copy of the newspaper that he had grabbed earlier.

“Don’t get me started,” JJ grumbled and took a sip of her pop.

“What happened?” Hotch asked, the conversation piquing his interest.

Spencer explained—with the assistance of JJ who apparently knew one of the people involved through soccer—the entire scandal. Apparently, last year there had been very little interest in the leadership roles, so the President of the student government had simply waltzed into his role. He then hired all of his friends, his girlfriend, his roommate, and together they embezzled thousands of dollars of student funds.

“I can’t believe they’re getting away with this,” JJ muttered. “Is there no oversight?”

“It’s always the same,” Emily replied. “Who’s going to oversee them? The college? They’re corrupt too.”

��This sucks,” Derek said. “Wish someone good would run for government, for once.”

Emily shook her head in frustration. It all just reminded her of her childhood. Embezzlement, corruption and nepotism all were casual topics discussed over family dinner in her home. She had higher hopes for students her own age, would they not break the cycle? Or was it just a microcosm of the outside world?

“You should run Mr. Lawyer Man,” Penelope teased Hotch. “You could take any of these clowns.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow at her and went back to his pizza, brushing her off. Emily smiled at him. Penelope was right, he might actually do a good job if he set his mind to it.

The people that surrounded her now were nothing like her mother’s friends—or the kids she had been forced to hang out with when she was younger—they were genuinely kind, supportive, and seemed to like Emily for Emily. When she told them she was an ambassador’s daughter, they had been more concerned with the cool places that she had been able to travel to than whatever power she had. At college, Emily finally exhaled fully, slowly relaxing more and more into herself.

But, the topic of politics always set her on edge, especially since the semester was ending soon. Her mother had already begun to leave her voicemails about the galas, fundraisers and events that she was required to attend over Christmas break. She pushed thoughts of the future aside and focused on the warmth that surrounded her. With some music playing softly (a song that JJ liked by Vampire Weekend), the softness of blankets under her, and JJ leaning on her slightly as she ate her dinner, Emily felt at peace. She knew she could handle winter break, because she knew that these friends would be here when she came back.

After years of leaving a school midway through the year only to show up to some new boarding school or international school each time her mom was reassigned, Emily never had a chance to put down roots. But, with each bite of pizza, Emily felt herself becoming even more firmly rooted. Not to this place, but to these people as their lives became more entwined.

Once dinner was over, the game continued, and thoughts of politics left their minds. By then, Emily narrowed it down to the weapon (the candlestick), two rooms (the kitchen and the billiard room) and she was pretty sure that it was Colonel Mustard that had committed the crime.

She had a decision to make: walk all the way from the study to the billiard room, or risk being wrong by making an accusation. She was pretty sure both Hotch and Reid were on the right track, as the younger boy’s scribbling in his notebook had gotten even more intense and the older boy was beginning to look around suspiciously, as if the others were trying to read his notes.

She had pretty much ruled out Penelope, JJ and Derek as competitors, as the trio spent most of the time talking, and genuinely trying to have fun. Emily, Reid and Hotch were all way too into it, but Emily was competitive and this was her game. She wasn’t going to lose to Hotch, no way. Reid winning she could blame on his boy-genius nature, but Emily decided that Hotch was going down.

The two boys seemed to have come to the same conclusion, all eyeing each other across the board, the tension palatable between them as their competition became heated.

She nervously tried to move to the billiards room, deciding to play it safe. Better safe than disqualified. But, as soon as she made that decision, she regretted it as Spencer straightened up on his turn and said: “I’d like to make my accusation.”

“Write it down,” JJ prompted, as per the rules. He jotted it down in his paper.

Then, with bated breath, they watched as he grabbed the envelope out of the centre of the board, and read the cards. His face fell when he saw one of the cards, so he must have been wrong. He placed them back into their envelope and back onto the board.

“No dice?” Emily asked.

He shook his head.

“Statistically speaking that should have been right,” he grumbled. “My math was wrong.”

“Boy genius isn’t a good detective, huh?” Penelope mused.

A few turns went by, with Derek, Penelope, and JJ moving around the board or making suggestions.

Emily rolled the dice, making one square from a room. She sighed. She’d make a suggestion next round.

On Hotch’s next turn, he made an accusation, which he wrote down on a pink sticky note that Penelope had handed out when the game started. He checked the envelope.

Emily held her breath. She was sure he had it and that the game was over. She should just call it quits now. She went to bite her nails out of stress, but stopped herself, they were starting to get long and she wanted them to look nice.

A moment passed as Hotch compared his cards. After he saw the third card in the envelope, his expression revealed that was also wrong.

Boys, Emily thought. Always so overconfident.

She made a suggestion instead of risking it: “Miss Scarlet—er myself I guess— in the Billiards Room with the pistol.”

It was a gamble. If she was right, and the people who knew she had her own card and the pistol caught on, they would also know that it was the Billiard Room, because no one would be able to disprove her theory. If she was wrong, someone would have the card for that room, and she would know that the crime occured in the Kitchen.

The second seemed to be true, as Derek showed her his card with a small illustrated image of the Billiard Room on it. She was right. She knew what it was. But, she would have to wait until her next turn. She was going to win.

But, it was she who was overconfident, because as she was too busy preemptively celebrating her win, Derek casually made his accusation.

“Hey I’m right!” he exclaimed, holding up the cards and his own hot pink sticky note.

In his semi-cursive scrawl read: “Colonel Mustard, Candlestick, Kitchen.” These guesses matched the cards hidden in the envelope, and Emily’s own deduction that she planned to make on her own turn.

“You guys really thought I hadn’t played this game before?” Derek laughed. “I’ve got two sisters, board games were everything.”

“Were you hustling us, Morgan?” Spencer demanded.

He smirked.

“Should’ve put money on the outcome,” Derek said with a laugh. “I’d be rich.”

Emily threw her cards onto the table in defeat. JJ shot her an empathetic look, and Emily tried to stuff her frustration down to pat her friend on the back for the surprising win. He deserved it.

———

After the game concluded and the pizza had been completely eaten, the group parted ways, heading to bed, or for more midnight snacks or to finish up some studying, leaving JJ and Emily alone and to start? a game of Scrabble.

The board was ancient, and quite a few letters were missing, but with music droning on JJ’s laptop, and the soft fairy lights overhead, neither girl minded too much.

Emily looked at her letters: O, B, S, O, T, B, W and thought hard, rearranging the wooden pieces to try and formulate a word. After a long day of academia, and investing so heavily into the game of Clue, she probably had only one or two working brain cells and both were telling her to play the word ‘boobs.’

Her eyes flicked to her girlfriend, who looked absolutely gorgeous in the warm light. Her blonde hair almost glowed, and she had an adorable expression on her face. Emily couldn’t help but glance lower, thinking about the real world examples of her Scrabble word.

She played the word with a cheeky grin.

“‘Boobs,’ Emily?” JJ scolded. “Really?”

She sounded angry, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at her cheeks and Emily could tell the girl found it funny.

“I can’t help it,” Emily said. “I haven’t thought of much else since last weekend.”

She raised and lowered her eyebrows in an exaggerated manner, making JJ laugh and kick her lightly in protest.

JJ then played the word ‘throw,’ using the ‘o’ from ‘boobs’ to form her word, earning her thirteen points.

“I don’t think you can throw boobs, babe,” Emily said. “They’re usually attached.”

JJ rolled her eyes.

Emily made it her mission to find the funniest words possible, working extra hard (and missing out on some good points) in an effort to make JJ laugh. ‘Armpit,’ ‘meaty,’ ‘hoagie,’ ‘urine,’ ‘joint’ and her piece de resistance: ‘boner.’ All while JJ was playing incredibly normal, and often strategic words like ‘axis,’ ‘snow,’ ‘vain,’ ‘snag’ and ‘writings,’ hitting multiple double- and triple word scores on the way.

“This is fun,” Emily said, sneaking a handful of JJ’s Cheetos out of the family-sized bag next to the blonde, while she was distracted by playing her turn.

“I don’t understand how you’re winning,” JJ muttered.

Emily shrugged, “Guess I’m just a genius.”

“Reid? Is that you?” JJ joked. “Why are you disguised as my girlfriend?”

“Would Reid do this?” Emily said, leaning over toward her girlfriend and pressing kisses all over her face until she fell back. Then Emily straddled her, their lips meeting in a passionate embrace that left both girls panting.

“I would hope not!” JJ exclaimed with a laugh, making a face at the thought.

They laughed and went back to making out, with Emily careful not to disturb the game pieces. JJ sucked onto Emily’s bottom lip, making her weak in the knees and she struggled to support herself over JJ’s shorter frame at the motion.

“We should-” Emily tried to say between kisses, “finish the game.”

JJ kept deepening the kiss, going so far as to grab onto Emily’s butt to hold her in place on top of her.

“You’re trying to distract me,” Emily chided, “because I’m winning! I see right through your plot.”

She sat up and went back to her tiles before playing another funny word: ‘suck’ for twenty points. JJ grumbled,fiddling with her own tiles, as Emily collected a few out of the bag.

Emily was preening as she rearranged her own tiles and didn’t notice as JJ put down her word. When she went to play her next word (‘zap’) and only then did she see what word JJ played.

‘Love.’

It was there. Clear as day. Written vertically and connected to the word ‘snow,’ it was unmistakable. Emily looked at it for a long moment, trying to figure out what it could possibly mean that her girlfriend very intentionally played such a loaded word. Was it the only word that fit? Did she only mean that she loved the snow? Was she also reading into it?

Emily looked up, making eye contact with JJ. The blonde blushed and looked away, nervously fiddling with the necklace around her neck. Emily smiled faintly at the warmth that flooded through her, but alongside that, was the sharp pang of anxiety. Was she supposed to acknowledge that? Would that make it weird?

‘Zap’ didn’t feel appropriate when her girlfriend may or may not have confessed her love for her.

She played it anyway, deciding that making a big deal of it would just complicate matters. Besides, did she love JJ? She didn’t know. It was all so new. She liked JJ a lot. She definitely like-liked her in the traditional sense of the world. But Emily had never been in love before. She’d loved people before, Matthew for one, and her mother in a way, and she loved Derek like a brother. But being in love was a whole ‘nother ball game.

JJ won the game after playing ‘equinox’ for twenty two points near the end, beating any lead Emily had gained from her silly words. JJ deserved it in the end, as the blonde would sit and stare at her letters until they formed the most complex words that Emily had never even heard of. Emily’s eyes drooped and she was barely able to create three letter words by the end, while JJ was still surprising her with her vocabulary.

Emily shook JJ’s hand to congratulate her for the win. JJ grinned and kissed her.

Then, they looked around and realized two things: it was past one in the morning and Penelope hadn’t come back to the room yet and that all of the blankets that JJ owned were currently being used in the blanket fort.

“Can we sleep in my bed, tonight?” Emily asked. “I’ll help you clean up in the morning.”

JJ nodded but was in the middle of texting Penelope, wondering where on earth her roommate had wandered off to. Within a minute she got back to JJ saying: with derek! will explain tmrw!! 😘 🧚‍♀️ 😳

JJ showed Emily the message and both girls giggled. Emily saw that coming, but didn’t realize it would be a game of Clue that finally sealed the deal.

Exhausted but happy and relaxed after the game night, Emily and JJ tumbled into Emily’s bed and cuddled up together. Between JJ and Emily, the word ‘love’ was left unsaid that night, but Emily fell asleep that night feeling a new warmth in her chest.

83 notes · View notes

reyesstrand · 3 years

Text

cut through all the noise

tarlos / teen+ / 1.6k

TK stares up hopelessly at the ceiling, clenching his jaw as he taps his foot against the ground. The noise of his parents' argument of the night seems to bounce off the walls, and he knows it's only going to get worse, if the past month is anything to go by. But tonight, he refuses to deal with it. And so, as the next round of passive-aggressive comments begins, he just grabs his keys and heads out the door. (Or, the first time TK seeks refuge at Carlos' place).

@tarlos-valentine day one: blanket hogging

TK knows his parents aren't bad people. And he loves them, he does.

Sometimes he can't stand being in the same house as them, though.

Barely a month into his healing, TK's still sore. It's not as bad as it was those first couple of weeks after bursting his stitches, but there's still a dull ache that radiates throughout his left arm. But not even that pain comes even close to the headache that often appears around the same time everyday, when his mom's meetings come to an end and his dad gets home from running errands or working a shift, and they're alone together without distraction for the first time in twelve hours. It starts out small—his dad with his offhanded complaints about hair in the shower or his eye cream somehow running low quicker than usual, or his mom making comments about his dad purposefully making smoothies when she's online with a client from Seoul—and then it just gradually gets worse, until somehow they're throwing around blame for him getting shot.

So yeah, it's a great time.

He has to admit that he'd almost forgotten what it was like, what having them both in the same house for an extended period of time will do to him.

It was nice that first week, when he was still initially recovering. He hadn't seen his mom since before they moved down to Austin, and so they spent days giving into their similar love of bad reality TV and getting overpriced coffee. She'd catch onto his bad days and play with his hair like she used to when he was a kid; she'd catch him smiling down at his phone and ask him about Carlos with a knowing look in her eye. But when her flights started being cancelled and it became evident that she'd be staying for an unknown amount of time, the fighting has picked up between his mom and dad, and it's become a constant.

If he's being honest, it feels like he's suddenly been thrown back to the cramped Manhattan apartment of his childhood. And it just seems like it's never going to end.

When he comes in from his evening run, TK pauses in the foyer to stretch, cocking his head to the side as one song fades into the next. He pulls one AirPod out and barely holds back from rolling his eyes as he realizes that his parents' voices are louder than his music. He just beelines for the shower, changing into jeans and a hoodie, sighing with annoyance as he makes his way downstairs and still hears the raised voices of his parents.

i'm in hell, he texts Carlos, strolling toward the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. He grabs a handful of grapes from the bowl on the kitchen island, munching on them as his mom comes in. Her expression softens when she sees him, coming in to squeeze his arm.

READ THE REST ON AO3!

#tarlos #911 lone star #tarlos fic #my fic #tarlosvalentine21

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randomficsandshit · 4 years

Text

Bellarke Fic Rec

*NONE OF THESE FICS ARE MINE*

Please do not forget. I have not written any of these. I’m simply recommending favorites of mine over the years. If you love something, send the author your love, not me :) and if any links don’t work, send me a message and I’ll see what i can do, this is a pretty old list

There's A Nap For That

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Based on that post: "If you both agree to take a nap instead of going out, it’s a date." Or: The one where Bellamy and Clarke keep taking naps together. You know, platonically. See also: Let Them Rest.

If You Wear A Dress and Have an Animal Sidekick, You Are a Princess

Word Count: 3k+

AU. Bellamy can't not take care of every animal he sees, and Clarke can't not find it endearing.

*Mouth Like Heaven, Kisses Like Stars

Word Count: 4k+

His eyebrows are knitted together in a slight frown, the kind he usually gets when he’s trying to work out a difficult problem. Finally, he meets her eyes again and says, almost hesitantly underneath his mask of bravado, “Well, I’m always here to lend a helping hand if you need it, princess.” Clarke actually chokes this time, and it feels like all the breath has been knocked out of her. -or, the time when everything goes downhill and bellamy just goes down.

Wingwoman

Word Count: 1k+

AU. Clarke didn't think she'd need a wingwoman at the park playground when she's babysitting her one-year-old niece, but then Bellamy Blake strolls up, and Amelia rises to the occasion, luckily for her.

When Love Hits (Better Make It Worth The Fall)

Word Count: 4k+

AU. (She's All That) Four times Clarke gets hit on the head (+1 time she doesn't) during her last semester of high school, and every single time, Bellamy Blake is somehow involved.

All This Time

Word Count: 5k+

AU. Four times Bellamy innocently kisses Clarke, + one time he doesn't.

Take This Heart

Word Count: ~

clarke moves into bellamy's room. this is both soft and full of disdain for clarke's terrible... everything in season 3

You're Cool On The Internet, At Least

Word Count: 9k+

AU. Look, Clarke will not dwell on this. She will not get flustered just because a possibly cute guy on Facebook apparently shares her views on what constitutes a terrible person.

(Or: Clarke meets Bellamy on Facebook. They hit it off.)

(One of my personal favs)

We Came Out On Top

Word Count: 11k+

AU. “How can you guys be all like this and then be at each other’s throats during trivia night?” “Because it’s trivia night,” both Bellamy and Clarke said at the same time, sharing the same why don’t you get it tone. Bellamy, Clarke, and the trivia night rivalries only they care about.

She Does What The Night Does To The Day

Word Count: 5k+

AU. He assumes she would just giggle and continue petting him while saying how pretty he is, but instead, she pulls back with what might have been a leer had she not been three sheets to the wind, and says, “Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.” And then if that wasn’t bad enough, she stumbles out of his arms and fucking winks at him. Or at least he thinks it’s a wink. She used both eyes instead of one. or, the one where Bellamy is woefully and terribly oblivious.

The Giant Squid's Got Nothing On You

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Objectively, Clarke knows she’s probably right, but she still can’t help but lift her chin determinedly and say, “He is not going to find it.” She can barely hear her scoff in reply over the din of the cafe. “Yeah right,” says Raven, “The internet is forever, Clarke Griffin. He will find it eventually.” or, Clarke finds her new muse at the local cafe

Alone Together

Word Count: 11k+

AU. Clarke shows up at Bellamy’s apartment at exactly two minutes to midnight on a Thursday. He's not sure how she ends up staying the night — or why he doesn't turn her away, when it happens again. And again.

Cold As The Wind Blows (so hold me in your arms)

Word Count: 3k+

AU. Clarke gets trapped in the storage room overnight, but at least she's not by herself.

Tequila Regrets

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Clarke and Bellamy have been roommates for a while, and Clarke has been in love with him for almost as long, but when she finds out that his terror of a boss has marked him as her next conquest, Clarke offers to pose as his fake girlfriend for the staff Christmas party to scare her off. She did not think this all the way through.

Mutual

Word Count: 6k+

AU. As acts of rebellion go, Clarke knows that getting a tumblr is both minor and pathetic. But it's her secret, her own tiny, online space where no one knows she's Clarke Griffin, Hollywood A-lister. She's just some nobody with like five followers and opinions no one cares about. And then she makes a friend.

Wish On Everything

Word Count: 11k+

AU. It's not as if Bellamy wanted anything bad to happen to his mother. All he wanted was to get custody of his little sister, so he'd know she was taken care of. And after eight years, he's basically given up all hope of that. Then his mother does die, and social services tells him he gets Octavia.

Legs Crossed Towards Each Other

Word Count: 7k+

It starts with Raven wanting to set up Mr. Sinclair, out of what are probably genuinely good intentions. It's everyone else who turns it into a massive headache for Bellamy.

What The Hell Is The Catch?

Word Count: 6k+

Bellamy gets tickets to take his AP US History kids to Hamilton, and Clarke figures he's going to need a chaperone. She's happy to help out. And if he says she owes him for it? Totally worth it.

If You Wanna Reach Me

Word Count: 5k+

AU. Clarke: So yeah, in the dream it's like We're in New York, I think. I'm not really sure, but you know how it is when it's a dream and you just know something. So we're in New York.

Jasper: whos we??????

Clarke: Most of us, I think? It's always kind of hard to remember when it's a dream. Like I just thought "everyone's here!" but I mostly interacted with Bellamy.

Raven: did u mean: real life

Time Enough For Rocking When We're Old

Word Count: 14k+

boston > boston/camb/brook > housing > apts by owner $2-300 Roxbury small room in 3-br 1-bath house, spouse preferred (Roxbury) Pair of siblings looking for housemate. Due to extenuating circumstances I will share with interested parties, I would prefer a roommate who is willing to get married for legitimate personal reasons that do not include sex or anything sketchy. If not interested in marriage, room still available for $300/month plus utilities. Pets okay, no smokers, NO DRUG USE. Please don't just email me to tell me this is fucked up, I know it is, you really don't have to tell me. If you are interested in the marriage part, a female spouse is preferred, but male would be okay too. I promise I will explain this if you really want details, but I'm not putting it online. Serious inquiries only.

Must Love Intersectionality

Word Count: 2k+

AU. Bellamy hates his stupid history of colonialism class, until he makes a friend. Weirdly, the friend isn't actually in his class, they just share the same desk and like to write angry notes about the patriarchy. Bellamy's a fan.

Regardless Of Warnings, The Future Doesn't Scare Me At All

Word Count: 20k+

AU. 2 Chapters. After an argument with her mother about her unplanned pregnancy, Clarke Griffin ends up back in the small town where her father used to live, spilling her sob story to a sympathetic bartender. And then, somehow, she ends up moving in with the bartender and her brother.

(You Might Find) You Get What You Need

Word Count: 20k+

AU. Clarke needs a date to her ex's sister's wedding, and she's at the point of hiring someone off the internet when Octavia points out that her brother is always looking for money. So Clarke takes him instead.

Just As You Are

Word Count: 10k+

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Clarke Griffin in need of a Latin tutorial partner will always end up paired with Bellamy Blake.

I've Been Dreaming Of You From The Other Side (I Know You So Well)

Word Count: 17k+

AU. Ten years ago, Clarke found out she had superpowers. Now she's all ready to start a new life: English teacher by day, vigilante by night. All she has to do is figure out how to be a superhero, avoid getting caught and shipped off by mandatory metahuman registration, and not strangle the stupid history teacher down the hall. It'll be fun.

She's Touching His Chest Now, He Takes Off Her Dress Now

Word Count: 26k+

If Clarke had thought arguments could actually lead to switching bodies with someone, she wouldn't have been surprised this one really did. But since that's actually impossible, waking up as Bellamy Blake is still a shock.

I Know That Fortune Is Waiting To Be Kind

Word Count: 20k+

When Bellamy is eleven, his mother dies, and he finds out his father was a prince, which makes him a prince too, albeit a bastard prince. And when he's twelve, his family decides he would be a good candidate for marriage to Princess Clarke of Arcadia. Princess Clarke thinks so too, but only because he agrees to come back in ten years and help her make sure the wedding never takes place. It seems like a really good deal, when he's twelve.

And Dream How Wonderful Your Life Will Be

Word Count: 19k+

Clarke has known Bellamy Blake for two months when she finds out two completely unexpected things about him: he's married, and he has an eight-year-old son. He's also getting a divorce and he needs a roommate, and she's got a spot. It's complicated.

One Deep Breath and One Big Step

Word Count: 17k+

Clarke Griffin has been groomed for Ark University and Sigma Kappa Upsilon sorority since she was a kid, and she's a little annoyed to discover, upon getting to college, that she really does like Sig-Kap. That she wants to pledge. There's just this weird thing where they don't seem to like her new friend Bellamy.

Write What You Know

Word Count: 13k+

Bellamy understands every individual choice that got him to this point. He started writing erotica to make some extra money, he didn't correct the assumption that he was a woman, made up some facts about his new persona, and now his publisher wants him to start making public appearances, so he needs someone to be that persona. And Clarke really is the logical choice. It all makes sense to him, when he thinks about it, but he will admit it is incredibly weird. Luckily, Clarke's still got his back.

When Can I See You Again?

Word Count: 13k+

Bellamy doesn't recognize a lot of people he meets at conventions, even if he's met them a lot. It's just hard to keep track. But the girl who comes once or twice a year is pretty easy to remember. And that's before her foster mom shows up in a panic because she took a bus to Vegas alone. After that happens, it's basically all over.

But They Ain't Doing It Right

Word Count: 14k+

“So,” he begins, running a hand through his hair. It’s a lost cause trying to work it back into some semblance of order. “What is this?” “What do you mean?” He doesn’t meet her eye when he says, “Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern,” too busy picking at a loose thread in his hem. “Wanna go three times and just make it a habit?” she jokes weakly, and his head snaps back up, eyes boring into hers. She flushes under the intensity of his gaze. “Actually,” he begins slowly, “That doesn’t sound that bad.” or, the friends with benefits au that got away from me

Phone A Friend

Word Count: 7k+

Clarke does not ask Bellamy for tips on having a threesome because she's hoping to have a threesome with him. He's just the only person she knows personally who has actually had a threesome, so he seems like her best resource. And when the opportunity to have a threesome with him presents itself, it's not like she's going to just say no.

I'm Swept Away and My Heart Ensnared

Word Count: 15k+

Raven hums low in her throat. “Well, at least Bellamy can make it up in time. So you won’t get too axe murdered.” Clarke wrinkles her nose, leaning on the banister of the upstairs porch. From here she can see the ocean, just a five minute walk away, and she breathes in brine soaked air. “He’s still coming?” “What do you mean if he’s still coming? He didn’t say anything otherwise.” She shifts from foot to foot, feeling herself colour slightly even though there’s no one there to see her. “I just assumed that because you and Miller couldn’t make it up anymore he wouldn’t come today.” “Why the hell did you think that?” “Because Bellamy and I aren’t exactly friends, Raven." or, Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin don't really like each other. Or at least that's what they tell themselves.

Afraid To Call This Place Our Own

Word Count: 22k+

(Single mom!Clarke and Teacher!Bellamy, with the usual angsty shenanigans.)

And Are We There Yet (Home)

Word Count: 2k+

A Bellamy POV and mini sequel to afraid to call this place our own. (this shit made me cry)

Bloodstains and Innocence: A Clarke Griffin Mystery

Word Count: 27k+

Police Chief Clarke Griffin knows three things: 1) Charles Pike is dead. 2) Octavia Blake is the prime suspect. 3) Bellamy Blake a giant pain in the ass with no business being involved in a murder investigation, and yet here he is, working the case alongside her. A hurricane is approaching the sleepy little island of Arkadia, NC as evidence begins to mount against Octavia and Clarke wrestles with her increasingly complicated relationship with Bellamy, all while trying to answer one simple question: Who killed Charles Pike?

Is There An IUD That Can Stop The Image of You and Me?

Word Count: 8k+

It's probably impossible to be friends with benefits with someone who might not even count as a friend, but "lab partners with benefits" isn't a thing yet. So that's probably the right term. Whatever it is, Clarke's enjoying it. As long as she ignores the whole feelings thing.

I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway

Word Count: 65k+

Modern AU inspired by the show You're the Worst, where Bellamy and Clarke hook up after a wedding.

And You Can Have This Heart To Break

Word Count: 37k+

Clarke knows she's being a little over-dramatic in her complaining about having to move to Maine, but it does seem pretty unreasonable of her mother to drag her to a small town in the middle of nowhere for the three months between high-school graduation and her starting college. As it turns out, the summer is great. It's just the summer ending that's the problem.

Museums and Mistletoe

Word Count: 1k+

Clarke buys Bellamy a museum ticket for Christmas and he acts like it’s the best gift he’s ever received. She buys one for herself too, because she knows none of their other friends have the time to go—finding a day they can all get together to exchange gifts is hard enough—and if it gets her an uninterrupted afternoon with her best friend and all around favorite asshole, she’s definitely not complaining.

When In Brome

Word Count: 57k+

Octavia is the one who tells Clarke about "Untitled Gladiator Project," because she thinks Bellamy wants to be on it, and also thinks Clarke is the one who will be able to convince him to do it. Plus, it turns out Clarke actually needs to be involved, because all of the gladiators are required to have girlfriends with them, and, honestly, the more she hears about it, the more of a mess it seems like. On the other hand, it sounds kind of hilarious, and definitely right up Bellamy's alley, so there's probably no harm in trying out. It might be fun.

It’s All Internet Interaction

Word Count: 11k+

Bellamy is less than pleased when soap opera star Clarke Griffin lands the lead role in the Callister reboot. So, naturally, he writes about it. It’s not supposed to blow up. She’s not supposed to respond to it either, but here they are.

Just Dive Right In (And Follow My Lead)

Word Count: 24k+

Clarke Griffin needs a partner. Bellamy Blake just happens to walk into her rink. (Or: Bellamy and Clarke as ice dancing partners, training together through the years to the Olympics.)

Sleight Of Hand

Word Count: 56k+

Notorious criminal prodigy Bellamy Blake has been tasked with a seemingly impossible heist. Luckily enough, he just might have the right crew for it. *Personal Favorite*

And Then We Were Chasing Comets

Word Count: 21k+

If you told Clarke Griffin that she would become best friends with the resident black sheep of Arkadia, she would have difficulty believing it, let alone the fact that he apparently wrote an entire book about her. (Or: Clarke and Bellamy through the years, as childhood best friends.)

See Me In Hindsight

Word Count: 16k+

“You’re kind of a mess,” He says mildly. “Thanks captain obvious.” The corners of his mouth twitch a little, like he’s holding back a smile. She is not remotely pleased by that. Not at all. Or, the one where they're project partners and maybe, perhaps, friends. (And maybe, perhaps, more.)

Challenge Accepted

Word Count: 30k+

He doesn't even like Clarke Griffin, he's pretty sure he hates how easy everything has come to her. So imagine his surprise when he finds himself at their office party looking through dick pics on her phone. “You can do better, Princess. In fact, I can do better.” As soon as she turns to him with raised eyebrows and an open mouthed grin he knows he’s said too much but she’s not going to let it drop. “Oh really, you think you can do better, Blake?” And he's never backed down from a challenge in his life.

Found Myself In A Second

Word Count: 5k+

The one where Clarke finds a lost wallet belonging to one Bellamy Blake.

Every Rose Can Sting You

Word Count: 15k+

Clarke expected to encounter annoying guys when she got forced into becoming the Bachelorette, but she didn't realise that the most annoying of them all would be the head cameraman. Because seriously, Bellamy Blake is a total prick. It's a good thing there's absolutely no chance of her ever actually liking him, because boy, would that be inconvenient…

Choking On Your Alibis

Word Count: 7k+

Bellamy gets a girlfriend and Clarke handles it spectacularly well

#bellarke #the 100 #fic rec #fic rec masterlist #bellarke masterlist #bellamy x clarke #beliza #the 100 fic #multi chap fic #one shot #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #raven reyes #octavia blake #eliza taylor #bob morley #the cw #fanfiction #bellarke fanfiction

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jobean12-blog · 4 years

Note

You're one of my favorite writers on this site and my first asking for a request 🙈. Based off what's going on with Seb and the real estate shit... Could I request one where Bucky and y/n are newly dating and he invites her over to his house but days later he's informed his address has been leaked online and immediately thinks y/n did it. They argue and don't speak for days (but miss each other so much) and then he's told a stalker went far and wide to find it and just some make-up loveliness?♥️

Trust in Love

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1,454

Summary: Bucky invites you over to his place for the first time, you love his place and being there with him, but then he gets some crazy news and it upsets you both, however, it all works out just fine! HAPPY ENDING!

Author’s Note: Hello my sweet friend! I want to thank you so much for your kind words and also for your patience with this. I know it’s been a few months and I apologize for the long wait. I hope you enjoy this and that you are doing well! Thank you all for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤

Warnings: soft fluff, implied sexy times, sweet and sassy Bucky, angst in the middle but it isn’t too bad, Bucky gets mad and the reader too but it all works out and he fixes it and happy endings! YAY!

Bucky walks around his apartment and runs his hand through his hair, checking everything over for the 100th time. Glancing at his phone he sees he has just enough time to shower before you arrive. This is the first time you’re coming over to his place and he’s both excited and nervous. He wants you to feel comfortable and happy while you’re there.

Your soft knock has Bucky rushing to the door, wiping his hands on his jeans before letting out a breath and opening it up. “Hey doll face. Come on in.” You walk through and put down your bag, jumping into his open arms. “Hi baby.” Before you can get a look around, he kisses you, effectively ending all thoughts and conversation.

The next thing you know you’re on the couch, his thigh pressed between your legs and his hand up your shirt. “I’m so happy you’re here,” he purrs against your lips, trailing them down your neck. You grasp his hair between your fingers and pull his face up to yours. “Me too, think I could get a tour before we break in the couch.”

He smirks, pushing his thigh harder and making you gasp. “Bucky,” you playfully warn. “My house, my rules baby girl.” You grin, easily giving in and wrapping your arms around his neck. “Fine. You win. But I get to pick where we order dinner from.” He nods, brushing his fingertips over the lace of your bra before ending any further arguments.

You’re sprawled out between Bucky and the back of the couch, your head resting on his chest as you dance your fingers over his abs and look around the room. “You have so many books. I love it! And this couch is pretty comfy!” His hands mindlessly comb through your hair and down your bare shoulder. “Just wait until you try the bed!”

When you finally get yourselves dressed and off the couch Bucky gives you the official tour and you’re already in love with the space. It reminds you so much of him. It’s warm and inviting, neat and cozy. “I’ve only been here a couple hours and I already love it!” You say the words and rest your head on his chest, giggling when your stomach grumbles. “I’m so glad doll. Now, let’s order dinner!”

The rest of your evening with Bucky is perfect. You eat yummy food and try to get through a movie before he hauls you to his bed. After breaking that in properly you sleep peacefully in his arms. The next morning arrives too quickly and he reluctantly lets you go so you can do laundry and prepare for the work week.

It goes by slowly and you and Bucky text and talk every day, constantly looking forward to seeing each other again. But when Thursday rolls around and you never get a good morning message from him you know something is wrong. Frowning at your phone you see that’s it’s almost lunch time, so you decide to check in. ‘Hey baby, missed you this morning. Hope you’re doing great and having a good day.’ You try desperately not to check your phone every 5 seconds, waiting for the text message alert.

It doesn’t come until the afternoon, his reply making your heart sink, ‘hey, not a great day, need to talk to you. Can I come by after work?’ You immediately answer and tell him of course and you hope everything is ok. You try to get through the rest of day and push back thoughts that he is going to tell you something awful later.

When you finally make it home your stomach is in knots and you have a headache, pacing your apartment and waiting for him to get there. His knock is hard, and it startles you from your self-torment. You rush to the door and swing it open, wanting to throw yourself into his arms but stepping back instead when you see the stormy look in his eyes.

“Did you leak my address somewhere online?” You shoot him an incredulous look, pointing at yourself and shaking your head no. “What? Why the hell would I do something like that?” He stomps his way into the small kitchen, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know, I asked myself the same question, but up until you came to my place I haven’t had any trouble at all. Then days later, I start getting messages that people know where I live. Little odd, don’t you think?”

You walk right up to him and poke your finger at his chest. “Hey, I know we’ve only been dating a few months, but I’d like to think you know better, I would never do something like that!” His eyes soften slightly but then his phone dings and he pulls it from his pocket, huffing loudly at whatever it is he read. “I have to go.” With that he brushes past you and turns when he gets to the door, “I have to go deal with this.” The slam of the door matches the thundering beat of your heart and you sink to the floor, trying to stop the tears that threaten to fall.

The weekend drags, your heart dragging along with it when you only hear from Bucky in short and curt texts. But as Sunday evening nears you start to get angry. You did not leak any information and you never would do that. You know it’s important that he have privacy and you respect that completely. Just as you’re about to grab your jacket and head to his place you get a text, ‘hey baby, can I come over please?”

At first you want to tell him no, but you need to resolve this one way or another, so you tell him to come. You hear his heavy footsteps on the stairs and wait at the door, opening it before he can even knock. “Hey.” His voice is quiet and sad and your shoulders slump, some of the fight leaving you. “Can I come in?” You open it fully and watch him walk through.

“Hey, listen baby, I,” he starts at the same time you say, “Bucky, I didn’t leak that info and I…” He smiles and you can’t help the small rise of your lips. He walks closer to you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms. “Normally, I would always say ladies first, but I think you’re going to want to hear this.” You take his hands in yours, “go ahead, I’m listening.” He gives them a squeeze before he starts. “So, it turns out some crazy stalker leaked my address online and started his whole thing. How they got the info in the first place is something I’m still working on finding out. Luckily, Tony is a huge help and told me he would have it all taken care of asap.”

He takes a breath and looks down for a moment and when his eyes meet yours again, they look bright with emotion. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you and immediately jumped to conclusions. You were right when you said that I should have known better and know that this isn’t something you would ever do. I was just so angry and upset because it was getting so out of control so quickly and I handled it very poorly. Do you think you can forgive me?”

At this point he has you pressed to his chest, his fingers brushing the hair from your face as he cradles your cheek. “Oh Bucky, I’m sorry it happened. It’s awful and I would have been angry too! Thank you for the apology, just promise you’ll trust me from now on. I’m here to help.” He dips his head, looking in your eyes for any sign of apprehension. When he sees none, he kisses you softly, pulling a low moan from your throat and tightening his hold on you.

His hands move down to cup your ass and he lifts you to the counter, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. “I’ve missed you so much, doll. I’m such an idiot, I’m sorry.” You smile against his lips. “You are but I forgive you and I missed you too, you have no idea.” He chuckles, “well, I’m your idiot and I most certainly do have an idea, worst few days of my life!” A light blush coats your cheeks and Bucky kisses them both, “can I stay tonight? I don’t want to be away from you anymore.” You nod and tilt your head, bringing your lips closer to his, “why don’t you spend the night showing me just how much you missed me?”

@book-dragon-13 @bugsbucky @buckstaybucky @buckys-broody-muffin @buckys-henley @breezy1415 @chuuulip @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hailmary-yramliah @hawksmagnolia @ikaris-whore @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @loricameback @lorilane33 @littledarlinhavefaithinme @littleredstarfish @lokilvrr @mushyjellybeans @marvelgirl7 @marvelandotherfandomimagines @nano--raptor @pinkdiamond1016 @randomfandompenguin @sallycanwait68 @tuiccim @the-wayward-robot @this-kitten-is-smitten @yansi1923

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky fluff #bucky #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes drabble #bucky drabble #sebastian stan

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smalltragedy · 3 years

Text

* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty-one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to oo-de-lally by roger miller like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hiii im back ... tentatively .. looks at u all ominously

CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.

mini playlist.

oo-de-lally / roger miller, wonderfully bizarre / bendigo fletcher, dust in your pocket / glass animals, gecgecgec / 100 gecs, nantes / beirut, cherry-coloured funk / cocteau twins, not allowed / tv girl, space song / beach house, dog food / 100 gecs.

statistics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

birthday: april 20th, 2000.

zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.

temperament: improvisor / phlegmatic.

label: the halycon.

sexuality: demisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //

death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet.

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.

currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).

has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.

wanted plots.

speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.

hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.

bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.

n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv.

#irvingintro #cancer tw #death tw #decay tw #maggots tw #dissociation tw #depersonalization tw #derealization tw #trauma tw #:D

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kiki-is-writing · 3 years

Text

the beginning and end of everything UPDATE!!!

DISCLAIMER: This is my original work. I choose to share my work here and here specifically for my comrades in the writing community. Plagiarism in any form will not be tolerated.

HI EVERYONE! I FINISHED MY NOVEL! Whooo hoooo!!!

It’s actually sort of surreal, I started it in June of 2020 and now it’s 2021 and it’s over! Ty, Jude, Ada, Dorothy, and Madison have been living in my head since October 2019, and less than a year and a half later, they’ve been brought to life! Crazy!!

A summary in case you forgot/are seeing this and don’t know who the hell I am:

Ty Kassisieh has no direction. He’s just graduated college with a degree he doesn’t care about and no clue what to do with his life. Per his parent’s request to be more like his genius twin sister Ada, he picks up a job at a local library to save some money. There, he meets his coworker Jude, who’s stuck in a position not too far from his own, and Ty immediately sees the potential for companionship. But after speaking to him, Ty discovers Jude is everything he isn’t: he’s cold, introverted, aloof, and worst of all, humorless. Soon, Ty forgets all about his initial goal and becomes determined to crack Jude and see what makes him tick.

Ty’s journey of self-discovery is uprooted completely as what begins as an investigation blossoms into a friendship, and then into something more. Ty is forced to confront the feelings he’s been pushing down since high school and come to terms with himself, his family, and the relationships he thought would never change. It’s only when he befriends a young library patron, Madison, that he finally begins to see the world for what it is and figures out how to pave his own path.

Here are some stats!

Word count: 65,900 (it’ll get at least 20k words longer)

Genre: Romantic comedy

POV: third person limited, present tense

Characters: Ty, Jude, Ada, Madison, Dorothy, Diane, Omar, Paul, Uncle Hubie, Ethel

Chapters: 15

Font: Times New Roman (sorry)

This was my second novel, but the first novel where I actually knew what I was doing, at least a little bit. And holy shit, I learned SO much about my writing process:

1. I cannot pants for the life of me. I have no idea what I’m doing without an outline. But sometimes, the outline doesn’t know best. I added a ton of subplots and off-the-cuff scenes halfway through that have no set up, gave up on subplots that weren’t working halfway through, it’s a disaster of a plot. BUt the important thing is that I know how to make it perfect. I know what the story needs and how to get that.

2. Why can I only write in bursts? I wrote like seven chapters, half the novel, in the month of July. There was a day where I wrote almost 5,000 words. And last night, I wrote for 6 hours straight, without eating, drinking, or going to the bathroom (because frankly, I forgot those things existed) and I cranked out a chapter and a half in a DAY. I had such a headache and was very hungry by the end, but it was SO REWARDING.

3. I noticed while drafting is how often bits of my real life bled through. Little anecdotes, arguments, dynamics and experiences. Those who know me particularly well can probably pick out little allusions to either some of my past works, my friends, and myself.

It was 1:00 AM when I finished, and I live on the east coast of the U.S. so we’d just had a huge Nor’easter (New England for blizzard) and I went outside in the middle of the night, in my pajama pants and my uggs, and stood in my backyard and looked at the trees and processed the fact that wow, I just wrote a novel. It was cathartic and beautiful and I 110% recommend standing in snow up to your knees by yourself in the middle of the night. Very peaceful.

As exciting as it is to be done, it’s kind of weird to be ending it. I started this novel from Ty’s first person POV, and he was just kind of another goofy, dorky character that shared my own sense of humor as well as my sense of perfectionism. But as I wrote, not only did I realize that third person worked so much better, but I started realizing how much of me and my own journey as a queer person had gone into this. It turned from a light-hearted, silly rom-com with little depth, a fun summer project to keep myself busy, to the most self expressive story I’ve ever written. I didn’t expect it to come out with much deeper meaning, it was summer and I was on a light-hearted rom-com kick, and life was carefree and silly and I wanted a book that reflected it. And then, school started, and life just descended into absolute chaos, and it was November, and it was NaNoWriMo, and I was writing my novel while watching CNN for a week straight. (But it all turned out great! New president!)

I can’t remember exactly when I started to incorporate my own struggles growing up as a queer kid, but somehow they bled through in the second half. The last scene of the book is (no spoilers) an incredible breath of fresh air for Ty. It’s something I can only wish for every queer teenager, that moment where you can finally be unapologetically and authentically queer without that nagging worry in the back of your mind. I’ve struggled over this past year with my identity, and as Ty found his place, I found mine as well.

Seriously, writing this book was one of the best experiences I’ve had. Yes, the entire time I had a separate document open, writing down every little thing that needs to change, but I legitimately feel excited for draft 2 and continuing working on this project. I think about how much this book helped me, unconsciously creating the story that I needed to hear, and how maybe, in ten, fifteen years, some queer teenager will be wandering around a bookstore and pick up The Beginning and End of Everything. Maybe just because the cover is pretty. Maybe they like the F. Scott Fitzgerald reference in the title. Maybe they heard about it on Twitter somewhere. But they pick it up, and see themselves in Ty, or in Jude, or in Madison. I know every book that gave me that feeling, I cherish them so deeply, and all I really want is for someone to get that feeling from something I wrote. To see themselves in the pages and know they’re not alone. It’s cheesy, but it’s true, and it’s important.

I think one of my favorite themes in the novel is the whole ‘someone’s got your back’ thing. I 100% did not mean for it to go in the way it did, but I was writing this as I was going through some Stuff, some stuff in which I realized that having someone, just one person in your corner can mean the entire world, if only for that moment. And if there’s no one in your corner when you need it, you can be in someone else’s when they need it. Frankly, I love how it plays out throughout the novel. There was always that theme of Ty and Madison sort of being there for each other, but as I found myself in the first semester of the school year building new friendships with incredible, smart, funny people (albeit most of that being online) and strengthening old bonds, it worked its way in, and it fits perfectly. It adds depth and strength to the story I couldn’t have done consciously.

Essentially, it is still the romantic comedy I intended it to be, but it’s also a coming-of-age (except much older than the traditional coming-of-age). Watching some of my close friends and family graduating college and continuing to struggle with their identities and places in the world I think is what truly carved out this idea. Because not everyone has everything figured out as soon as they graduate, and I feel like, as a teenager, that’s something my friends and I really need to get through our heads. A lot of us expect to have everything figured out as soon as we turn 18. But, we’re 18. There’s a lot of life ahead of us, and we can’t possibly know what we’re going to do so young. So I think that was my main source of inspiration for this novel, and I’m really proud of the way that fleshed out. Of course it needs lots and lots of work, but. I like it. The way my personal life bled through and strengthened the story is incredible to reflect on. Honestly, I really, truly, cannot wait to start working on draft 2.

taglist:

@alicewestwater @august-iswriting @lottieiswriting @phiwrites @jennawritesstories @chloeswords

#the beginning and end of everything #teenwriter #am writing #my writing #my novel #writblr #writeblr #writing update #teen writer #young writer #writingupdate #writer problems #writerscommunity #writing #drafting #nanowrimo #losenanowrimo2020 #camp nanowrimo

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shessoparticular · 4 years

Text

Ready Set Date: Chapter 3 | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

Another day, another fic!

Find part 1 written by @shawnscxlvins here! & part 2 written by @sinceweremutual here! thank u again @saysweartogod-og for the challenge again, everyone enjoy x

You sat at the table dumbfounded for a little bit before collecting your belongings before heading out to your awaiting Uber. You’d passed several paparazzi’s as you left, making you confused as you’d been told that they wouldn’t really be making an appearance until your next “date”.

Once you had safely made it into the car you made sure to send a short text to Shawn, making sure that everything was okay since he’d left you in a pretty dramatic way. You couldn’t help but be nosey and wonder what that text he received was about. It wasn’t long before he replied with a simple “everything’s okay, I’m so sorry about leaving”. You smiled to yourself and decided to end the conversation at that.

Your apartment was lonely, and you found yourself wondering what it’d be like if you ever found yourself a significant other. Your couch was made for two, your king bed was basically invented for cuddling and your breakfast nook was designed to have two people crammed on to the stools. You couldn’t help but picture all of those things featuring Shawn. You had to remind yourself that everything was fake and behind the scenes he had a long-term girlfriend, even if you didn’t like her. You’d have to settle for being friends.

You were cuddled up on the couch with your favorite red wine while watching Game of Thrones on the couch later that evening before you heard a knock on the door. You glanced at the time on your phone, seeing it was just after midnight. You checked your peephole before seeing a teary-eyed Shawn with an overnight bag in his hand. “I’m so sorry about coming over this late. I didn’t want to deal with Andrew and Camila’s decided that it’s more important for her to win this argument than me to have a place to stay. The team gave me your address on that paperwork we looked at during the meeting” he told you as you ushered him into your apartment. “It’s fine Shawn, I have a guest bedroom. I’ll show you where it is” you suggested, leading him to the room.

“Do you wanna talk about it? I understand if you don’t, we don’t exactly know each other that well yet” you suggested as you both took a seat on your couch, red wine in hand. “It’s probably best if I do hey? Get it off my chest” he confessed, taking another sip of his wine. “So Camila isn’t happy about all of this obviously. She sent me that text telling me that there was an emergency so obviously I freaked out. I get back to our apartment to find out it was a lie to get me out of being with you” he proclaimed before continuing. “We argued about it for a while before she confessed that she also called the paps on us so they’d see me react to the text to make you look like an idiot. Obviously, I was mad at her because you don’t deserve that, so she kicked me out of my own apartment” he uttered, clearly upset.

“I’m so sorry Shawn. It must be really hard on her. You don’t have to defend me to her, I’m a big girl and can do it myself. You can stay here as long as you need; I need someone to drink my extensive collection of red wine with” you laughed, trying to comfort the boy seated next to you. “So, are we finishing this bottle tonight?” he asked, laughing at himself. “Let’s make you feel better” you exclaimed, chugging the rest of your glass.

It was hours later and to say the both of you were slightly intoxicated would be an understatement. In those two hours, the two of you had finished three bottles of wine and you were about to finish the fourth. It was insane how well the two of you got on, even when intoxicated. He’d shared so many stories about the hundreds of cities he’d been to and you’d told him all about the movie and TV sets he could only dream of working on. You’d promised him to try and get him in the door with your acting agent when he explained how he felt like acting was his next step. You two were even more compatible than you could have imagined

“How long have you and Camila been together?” you asked, finally growing the courage to ask about her. “Officially for over a year but there’s always been something between us since I was like 17” he answered truthfully. “I’m not gonna lie, I think we’ve outgrown each other already but we waited so long to be together I don’t want to make a crazy decision that’ll just hurt both of us” he confessed. “Have you told her this?” you asked. You didn’t like Camila but she deserved to know exactly how Shawn was feeling. “No, she’s all in on us. I think I want to end it but I have no idea. She’s been my first serious partner since I was in high school” he replied. “I’m sure this is just a combination of alcohol and the argument. I think you should sleep on it” you suggested, trying to give him good advice.

“It’s insane that I’ve known you for a few days and I already feel a better connection between the two of us that I’ve felt with Camila for months” he confessed, the alcohol clearly affecting him. “You’re just saying that because of how much we’ve had to drink” you conceited, even though you felt it too. “If you don’t feel anything y/n, you have to tell me” he confessed, getting closer to you. “I was always taught not to lie, Shawn” you sassed, letting him get closer.

It felt like hours, but realistically it was only seconds before Shawn finally put his lips on yours. It was cliché but you felt so many butterflies in your stomach. It was almost like time slowed down. “Tell me if you want me to stop” Shawn confessed, taking his lips away from yours for one second to make sure that you consented. “Absolutely not” you whined, kissing him again. “What way is your room?” He asked, lifting you off the couch and swinging your legs around his waist where you quickly gripped on. “Second door on the right. Stop talking Shawn” you babbled, wanting this more than anything, despite how wrong it is.

The next morning you had woken up with an extreme headache as the light shone into your bedroom. You’d been so caught up with Shawn that you’d forgotten to close your blackout blinds. You moved your arms around, trying to reach for the human heater that is Shawn. You quickly pulled on some clothes as you realized he wasn’t in your bed anymore.

You found him out in your kitchen with McDonald's breakfast on the bench waiting for you. “I knew we both wouldn’t feel like cooking” he confessed, passing you a McMuffin. “Thank you! This is exactly what I needed” you uttered, moaning as you took a bite. “I could get used to that noise” he muttered, laughing at himself as you whacked his shoulder. “What we did last night was so wrong but am I a bad person if I want all of this, with you?” you ask him, scared of his answer. “I feel the same way. I think I’m going to end it with Camila. I at least owe her that much” he proclaimed, seeming sure of his decision. “Please don’t end it just because of me” you added, trying to not feel like the bad person. “I think this is just evidence of why I need to” he decided.

You were both startled as your phone started to ring, making you both jump. “It’s my manager, I’ve gotta answer this” you stated, picking up the ringing phone. “You guys are doing amazingly already! How did you two manage to get photos of Shawn coming out of your apartment, looking like he just had sex? This is insane” your manager exclaimed excitedly. “What? Are they online? Where are you seeing these?” you asked frantically, stressed that you two had potentially been caught out already. “They’re all over Twitter and those gossip sites. Good job guys” she stated before hanging up, leaving you almost speechless.

Almost as soon as your manager hung up, Shawn’s phone also lit up. He lifted it quickly to see who it was. “Yeah, we’re busted” he confessed, showing you the screen. You gulped when you saw Camila’s contact lighting up the screen.

#shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

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colorsicantsee · 3 years

Text

Seblaine- Present Day (June/Year1)

Para: All's Well That Ends Well To End Up With You

Rating: PG-13..

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Year One: Present Day- June. About a month after- I Don’t Wanna End It When We’re Only Just Beginning; Part ONE and Part TWO.

Location: Brooklyn, New York

Info: Sebastian knows how lonely Blaine can get when he’s gone so he surprises him with a trip to the Animal Shelter. Blaine makes a new friend and starts to think he might not be giving enough of himself to his wonderful person.

Warnings: This particular para includes- Brief mentions of sexual situations and mentions of past abuse. This rp as a whole mentions past abuse(Physical, mental and sexual), possible unwanted sexual situations, anxiety, depression, negative body image, drug use, alcohol use, cussing, death(parents).

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Title taken from-Taylor Swift- Lover

NOTES: Some canon events remain in place while others have been changed. Some things may even be out of order. You can consider this sort of canon divergent AU. A few changes are that Blaine’s parents are different from the show (His mother is Filipina), he didn’t cheat on Kurt or date Dave and Sebastian is younger than Blaine. Feel free to send a message if you have any questions!

Under Cut for length. As usual the para’s are mostly unedited.

Sebastian’s POV:

Things had been okay. Sebastian was getting his school work done and hadn’t touched alcohol in months. Blaine was going to work and therapy sessions regularly. The two of them had been comfortable and open with each other and things were just...calm. Calm was a feeling that Seb hadn’t known for a long time. Even when he was a teenager and spent his days hanging off of Blaine’s words and soft touches, his emotions felt so dizzy and intense. Calm was nice, it was welcome and not something he had known he craved for years.

Though Seb felt some sort of small slice of peace, he wondered if B felt the same way. Of course he knew that his boyfriend was happy and satisfied with their relationship and the way things were going. He knew that Blaine was, to be cliché, fighting an uphill battle mentally. The other man had been through a lot in his young life and Sebastian accepted that. He understood that some things took time to fix and it wasn’t his sole responsibility to stitch up B’s sadness. That didn’t mean he couldn’t help, couldn’t hand the other man the tools.

Sebastian wasn’t sure where the idea had come from. Maybe he had heard Sarah McLachlan croon from an elevator speaker, maybe it was the grey, grumpy cat that hung around the chip aisle at his local bodega. But, it had popped in Seb’s head that maybe Blaine might benefit from a pet. He had personally never had one, but he had always wanted a dog. He didn’t think he could ever take care of anything but he knew that B would be a natural.

Seb picked up the phone and shot the other man a quick text. He had made an appointment at the animal shelter nearest Blaine’s place; This Saturday I have a surprise for you.

The day arrived and Sebastian wouldn’t give in to any of Blaine’s questions or distracting bribery techniques.

“You’ll see when we get there.”

They had arrived at the large brick building and he watched his boyfriend’s face as he figured out where they were.

“Before you say anything, I’m paying all of the fees. I’ll take care of the pet rent, too. I also wanna get everything else you need for you new pet”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine felt good. If someone had told him a month ago that he’d feel this good after having one of his worst, irrational panic attacks he’d have mirthlessly laughed in their face. Yet here he was, feeling the best he’d felt in a long time. It was almost alarming. A big part of him was so scared that it was all going to go to shit at any second now, that he’d fall apart and panic over nothing once more and he’d have to beg Seb to help him calm down with reassurances that he already had to begin with. He hated those thoughts, hated that a big part of him still couldn't grasp that he deserved this happiness and that nothing was going to take it away.

On the other hand there was another part of him that knew he deserved it, knew that things were finally falling into place for him and that he was finally living the kind of life he thought he’d be living when he was a teen. Sure, he still hadn’t ventured out to Sebastian’s apartment in Manhattan yet and a few of his classes were still online, and he was still overworking himself to make up for his guilt over taking Cooper’s money afraid that his big brother might think he was slacking off or didn’t appreciate the loan- even though once he turned twenty-five his parents trust would come through and he’d be okay. Still, he was happy and he wanted to cling to the good feelings and hold them close to his chest in case he ever forgot or to remind him when he had bad days.

He’d been taking his medicine as he should. And even though there was nothing wrong with it he had stopped drinking wine with his meals. He wanted to encourage Sebastian and he’d noticed a difference in how he felt when he woke up in the morning. No more dull headaches or shame over what he might have said while tipsy. He’d been meeting up with his friends more- Sam and David were both surprised when he’d reach out to them to invite them to lunch or even just video games in his apartment. He hadn’t realized how much he was actually neglecting them and it took feeling better to see his errors.

He’d even been trying to call Cooper regularly though his brother was always suspicious when he did so. And of course he’d been spending time with Sebastian. It was like the two of them had just fallen into place with each other, like they just fit and should have always been this way. And as cheesy as it sounded, Blaine was no stranger to cheesy, they just felt meant to be. And that made Blaine feel all the more happy.

His happiness was edged with nerves and excitement as he sat in Sebastian’s passenger seat and his boyfriend drove them to his surprise. Seb rarely drove, but he had picked him up and had been mum about what they might be doing. Blaine had even pressed a playful kiss to Seb’s favorite spot in his neck to try and get an answer, but all that did was get a wicked grin and a promise for maybe later. Blaine settled for holding Seb’s hand and trying not to let his brain overwork itself with what it might be. As they pulled up to a big red bricked building with the worlds Animal Rescue in big white letters across the side, Blaine’s heart did a flip as well as his stomach. He turned to look at Seb who had prepared an argument.

“Seb, that’s too much money! I can’t take that!” But once Seb had his mind made up there really was no changing it. He took a deep breath and let his boyfriend lead him into the building, the sounds of dogs barking echoing off the walls and into his ears. Blaine had always wanted a pet growing up, he’d had a puppy when he was very young, but his father proved to be allergic and he was such a busy kid he found it hard to be there for his canine friend. He still remembered his sniffles as his mom and him dove away after dropping him off at his new home. Sure, Blaine was still just as busy, but he had his own space now, and the thought of having something to come home to instead of an empty, lonely apartment sounded wonderful. Sebastian couldn’t just live there.

He was nervous as the person whose name tag read Matthew showed them around and explained how adoption worked. And when they asked Blaine if he’d like to see the dogs or cats first Blaine surprised himself by asking for the cats.

“I’d like to see the cats, if that’s alright?” Matthew smiled and led the two of them into a room where about a dozen cats were free to roam. It was a playroom of sorts, set up to look like trees and leaves. He’d never really seen a place like this before, most of the cats were sad looking and locked up in cages. He found out soon enough that all of the cats in here were kittens and it was better to let them roam and play together. Blaine sat down in one of the chairs so as not to scare them away but was a little overwhelmed by all the darting fluff and every time he’d settle on one, they’d run away in a blur of white or grey or orange and flip themselves onto one of their playmates. He was just about to ask to see the adult cats when he felt tiny paws on cheek. He looked up and was met with a pair of too large orange eyes in the tiniest black furred body. The little thing was batting at his cheek as if saying- hey, hey I’m here, look at me! It was so small and tucked into one of the little fake leaves that stuck out from the wall, that Blaine had completely missed it at first glance.

“Hey there little one.” Blaine said softly, and reached out to gently pull it into his arms. The kitten instantly stuck his face into Blaine’s and nuzzled against him before batting at one of his curls. Matthew spoke up- “That’s Soot, she’s about six months old, yes, I know she looks so much younger. But, she was born here. She’s been adopted twice and both times she was brought back. It’s a shame. The first person said it was because her child had accidentally stepped on her because she was too small, and the second one said that his girlfriend didn’t want a black cat because they were “bad luck” and feared if she got out she’d be sacrificed or something. She’s naturally tiny and no one seems to want her. If you ask me they just weren't the right fit for her, and their loss because Soot is the sweetest kitten here. And I think she likes you.”

No one wants her? Blaine’s heart squeezed at the thought of someone hurting this sweet little thing and he had to blink back a swell of emotion as she lifted her head and stuck her nose against his lips as if to kiss him! Her head bobbing like she was drunk. She was probably just smelling him but it almost broke his heart in two and he knew that he wouldn't be leaving without her. She had already snuggled into the crook of his arm and was purring so softly, the vibrations tickling Blaine’s arm. The sensation instantly calmed him. He was half in love already. And even though he was worried about taking Seb’s money he looked up at his boyfriend pleadingly, the words getting stuck in his throat, his eyes bright. His voice was shaky and his emotional display would have embarrassed him if he were really thinking about it, but all he could think about was her cold little paws pressed against his arm, her tiny claws kneading him slightly.

“I-I do. I mean, I want her. Please, Seb?”

Sebastian’s POV:

Seb had had a feeling that Blaine was going to visit the room where the cats and kittens were kept. From what he understood, cats were pretty low maintenance and despite what people might say, could form loyal bonds with their owners. Plus, B wouldn’t have to take a cat down the many flights of stairs to go outside at random hours of the day. A cat could watch itself while he worked and went to school and even if he ever spent the night at Sebastian’s.

Blaine’s eyes lit up when they walked into the room covered in acrobatic leaves and man made branches for the cats to climb and lounge on. Sebastian crouched on the floor next to where his boyfriend sat and observed the tiny creatures wrestle and bathe themselves. The older cats that were awake in the cages meowed and pressed their wet noses against the bars trying to get Matthew’s attention. They were probably looking for some new food, he thought to himself.

He hadn’t even caught the moment that the little black ball of fur ended up in his boyfriend’s arms. It seemed as if the two of them had known each other for years, the little thing was emitting little trills of pleasure as it worked its claws into his sleeve. B’s eyes were glossy when the attendant mentioned that Soot had been returned a few times. Sebastian bit his lip and knew that this was the one.

“Of course. This is the whole reason we came.” He smiled at his boyfriend and reached over so the kitten could sniff his fingers. Sebastian looked up at Matthew, “Where do we fill out the papers and pay the fees? She’s ours.”

Soot was loaded into a cardboard box with little holes poked in the side. She didn’t like it and kept poking her black nose through and basically screaming at them to let her out. Blaine filled out all of the paper work with giddy energy and Sebastian handed over his card for them to swipe. He hadn’t been worried about how much it would be but she was surprisingly cheap since she had been brought back a couple times.

Sebastian wrapped an arm around Blaine as he clutched the noisy box in his arms. He sat in the passenger seat smiling as he gently held onto his new pet’s carrier. They drove around for a few minutes before they found a pet store.

“Don’t be shy in here. There’s no limit.”

Blaine blushed and began to protest.

“You need litter, a cat box. Food, she obviously needs some toys, too. Don’t forget about a water dish.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s heart fluttered against his ribcage, a feeling he couldn’t quite place fell over him when he heard Sebastian say ‘She’s ours’. She was theirs now. They had done something big together. He let out a little laugh and fought the urge to pull Seb into a thank you kiss right in front of Matthew. He nodded, barely believing that he was actually going to get to take a living creature home with him and as he signed the paperwork and Sebastian paid he felt even happier than he had when the day started and that was saying something considering he didn’t think he could feel any happier. Instead of something terrible throwing a wrench into his joy he’d been gifted the most adorable thing.

Blaine settled back against Sebastian’s comforting arm as his boyfriend drove away so they could shop for her. She sat on his lap in her little cardboard crate, screaming for attention and slipping her tiny little paw out through the holes before shoving her nose through it. She did this over and over again. Blaine pet her nose and her paws to calm her, but didn’t let her out for fear that she’d get lost in the car. He was so excited, he couldn’t wait to share his apartment with her. Wondered if she’d like his music, or if she would sit in the window and stalk birds, wondered if she’d cuddle up on his pillow as he slept. He realized then that the thought of Sebastian having to go home and leave him alone for the night later on wasn’t as hard to stomach as it had been the day before. Of course he hated that part. When Seb couldn’t stay because of early classes or whatnot. He wanted his boyfriend there all the time, he felt safer and more whole, had gotten used to letting Seb’s arms be around him, letting his hands touch him without tensing up and he loved it, but maybe, just maybe, with Soot in the picture he wouldn’t stay up too late wishing he wasn’t alone. Maybe she’d help take the edge off his nighttime loneliness away.

The store welcomed animals so he was able to put her little crate into the cart Seb had gotten for him and he was thankful, couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her out in the car. He was still nervous about the cost, animals were not cheap and he was on his own now, Cooper’s year of “free” rent was pretty much up and almost all of his extra money went into his apartment and food. He knew he was lucky, most college kids had to stay in dorms or be extremely well off to make it like this. But when Cooper had helped get him out of his horrible situation with Kurt, a dorm wasn’t an option. They both knew Blaine couldn’t handle all of those people around him, couldn’t handle a stranger in his room. His severe anxiety wouldn’t let him. Maybe luck wasn’t the right word actually considering, but either way, Blaine got to live alone and that money added up. He hadn't gotten a pet in the first place despite desperately wanting company that couldn’t hurt him over the last year and a half because he couldn’t afford it. It was like Seb had read his mind, finding thoughts that Blaine himself didn’t really think of often.

“Seb, this is all going to add up. Are you sure?” Seb was sure and Blaine had to really look at him before he let himself put anything in the cart. He meant what he said. He’d help. And Blaine would find a way to come up with vet money so he could get her fixed, he’d find a way. Even though he had a feeling Sebastian would try and help with that too. Over the next half hour he and Seb had managed to get her about twelve new toys ranging from mice to a wand with a fish on the end to a scratching post with a fuzzy heart hanging off of it. She had a giant bag of food meant for kittens under a year old, a food bowl, water dish, litter box, and a little red collar with a bell so small Blaine was sure he’d never hear it. The total was too much, and Blaine instantly felt like a bad cat dad because he wouldn’t have been able to afford that if he were doing this on his own. But when he voiced it Seb shook his head and reminded him that this was a present.

On the way back to his apartment Blaine made the appropriate call to inform his landlord that he’d gotten a cat and that he’d bring in the money first thing. He tried not to cringe when he was told the deposit price. It’s a gift, Blaine. Let him do this for you. He made it through the call without much resistance, the landlord seemed hesitant at first, but since they didn’t have a no pet policy she had no choice but to let him do it. The two of them set up the little apartment before letting the little lady out of her crate and Blaine made sure the bathroom door was shut so she couldn’t go hide there. He wished he had a door to his bedroom, but it was so small there weren’t many places she could go. She let him put her new collar on without struggle, pressed her forehead against his cheek and squirmed to be let down. She sniffed around the room, and made her way across the small apartment, poking her nose in everything before settling on her food, took a bite, then a drink and then promptly darted across the living room floor and dived right into the scratching post and busied herself playing with the fuzzy heart hanging off of it. He couldn’t help but laugh from his spot on the couch. They were quiet for a moment as they watched her play.

“I think I’ll keep the name. I mean look at her, she looks like a soot spot against the wood floor. It’s pretty perfect.” He paused, his eyes glued to her little body. She was playing so hard, it was like she hardly noticed she had been taken to a completely new place. She seemed at home, and when Blaine clicked his tongue against his teeth and said her name softly in a high voice, she actually came over to him and rubbed her scent all over his hand and leg, she went and did the same to Sebastian before once again darting and diving. This time at once of the little mice. She flipped onto her back and she rabbit kicked it before doing it all again, her micro bell tinkling as she moved. Guess he could hear it after all.

Blaine was fucking obsessed.

“God, I can’t believe no one wanted her. “ He finally turned his gaze to Seb and reached out to take his hand, linking their fingers together. He scooted so he was close to him, his hand sliding up to his chin to bring his face down to his before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He did it again, his own lips slipping into a small, bright smile.

“Thank you. You have no idea how happy this has made me. I-I didn’t think… well, I didn’t know I needed this. I still feel like it’s too much money… But, I’m gonna accept it, she’s perfect.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian helped Blaine unpack all of Soot’s new toys. He helped set up the cat box and insisted on pouring the litter even though he had never done it before. I mean, how hard could it be? A giant puff of grey dust surprised him and made him cough and flail a little bit. The scene had made Blaine laugh, though and that had made the mess worth it.

Soot seemed to fall into an easy playful mode immediately. She looked like she had always belonged in the apartment. The two of them watched her, laughing at her ridiculous belly flops and wobbly jumps.

“I think the name is perfect. She’s like a little smudge.” Sebastian pressed in closer to Blaine’s side. He could not only see his boyfriend’s happiness but he could feel it radiate off of him. Sebastian felt pleased. B now had a little companion to warm the lonely nights he had to be away, to hold on to when he felt upset.

Blaine never had to come home to an empty apartment again. Seb thought that that sounded great, his own empty apartment felt cold and haunted at times. Not literally, of course (he’d fucking move.) but by the past. The stench of vodka would sweep by him when he felt bored. Sometimes his sheets didn’t feel clean enough, seemed matted with bad nights and past lovers. He was thankful that Blaine didn’t have to experience that, that he could walk into the tinkle of a little jingle bell and the flash of orange eyes looking for their food bowl to be filled.

Sebastian shook his thoughts away and focused on the kitten again. “I’m glad. You guys are a perfect match.” He pressed into the kiss, he could feel Blaine’s smile against his lips. Sebastian loved that feeling.

“You’re welcome.” He wanted to insist that the money didn’t matter but didn’t want to come across as braggy. Sebastian found that his careless feelings about spending offended some people. He used to not care, would swipe his card with a smirk and casually mention his big purchases. Seb had grown so fucking annoyed by himself after he started getting cleaned up. He had become better and knew that B spent a lot of time worrying about money. Sebastian found it better to just let that part of the conversation go. “Always glad to help. I wanted to do this.”

“Do you think she’ll tucker herself out soon?”

Blaine’s POV:

“You wanted to make me the happiest man ever? God, you’re so good to me, I really don’ t know that I deserve it.” He smiled up at Seb after their shared kisses, relishing in the simplicity of the moment. He wondered if Sebastian ever thought of getting a pet himself, he wondered how big his apartment was. Sure, it was New York, but as he knew, Seb had money and his parents never taught him to shy away from it. Did his home ever get lonely too? Blaine had never even been there before. Had a hard time imagining himself there, letting himself be touched or kissed there, or undressed and bare. Because it wasn’t a space of comfort that he’d built himself. And spending too much time in Manhattan was difficult for Blaine to think about, sure, he knew how to avoid Kurt, knew his spots, knew Rachel’s spots. He’d known how to avoid Seb for three years before this too. But there were so many memories attached to the place, bad ones. Spots where Kurt would drag him and then humiliate him. So many places to avoid. It was also the place where you and Seb reconnected, he reminded himself. You managed to go to that Warbler party, you could totally go to his apartment.

God, everything with them really had happened just so fast. Both times they’d been together and Blaine knew, without a shadow of doubt that Sebastian was the only person he’d ever want to touch him again. He still tensed up sometimes, still loved that Seb showed his hands before reaching for him even though they’d done so much together, it helped him. He still got nervous before intimate moments. They’d had sex a couple more times since he’d panicked and he loved every minute together. He trusted Sebastian and only Sebastian with his body and even more, his mind. He knew that he always had trusted him and maybe that meant that he could trust himself to be intimate in a new place. Sebastian’s space. The man had just given Blaine an incredible gift that he otherwise couldn’t afford and had uprooted himself to spend all of his free time over here, in a shitty small Brooklyn apartment in a shitty neighborhood. Blaine felt he needed to give him more. Why was the thought so hard?

He looked over at the kitten, Soot was still hopping around, her little paws making the daintiest sounds on his scuffed wood floors as she jumped and landed on her feet. Little Soot showed no sign of stopping, but then again, from what he knew about cats and the countless animal videos he’d watched over the years to cheer himself up the creatures seemed to play hard and then promptly pass out like a loaf of bread.

“I don’t know, she’s going pretty hard though.” He reached out and grabbed the stick with the fish on the end and she instantly started to chase it. She grew bored when Blaine wasn’t fast enough on wiggling the string and pounced over to a new mouse, and as the two of them laughed at her, she visibly started to slow and then she sat down on her tummy, hiding the mouse under her little body and then she tucked her paws under her chest like they were cold, then her eyes started to close and she was purring loudly as she fell asleep, her head pressed into the scratching post mat.

“Well, I guess there’s your answer… I mean, could you imagine falling asleep that fast? And we’ll never be that fucking comfortable.” Blaine chuckled, looking back up at Seb in amazement, his smile so big his cheeks kind of hurt from the happiness.

And there it was- the tiniest bit of clean litter dust clinging to Sebastian’s cheek and it reminded Blaine of the snowflake that had clung to Seb’s cheek that nerve wracking, miserably bittersweet New Year’s Eve night on a Manhattan rooftop, six short months ago. The night that had set this whole relationship back into motion. The night that un-paused their story and dusted off their beautiful and imperfectly perfect book cover and set them back on their path. He sometimes wondered what would have happened if he didn’t accept, how bad off would he be now? He took a deep breath and reached out to brush his thumb over the spot. His skin tingling as he brushed it away. It wasn’t as pretty as a snowflake, but the way it had gotten there had made him laugh and he wanted to hold onto this moment just as close as the snowflake moment. That night could have ended them in further disaster, but Blaine had taken a chance because Seb had done the same and had reached out.

They had come so far since that night and yet it felt like they’d always been here. The four years they spent apart were the worst ones of Blaine’s life, and while it wasn’t just because they were apart, there were many factors, but not being together was a big one. A mistake that had cost them greatly. As he leaned against his boyfriend now, in this moment, he knew that he’d made the right choice in accepting Seb’s invitation after that night. He bit his bottom lip, his smile taking him out of his what- could- have- happened memories and putting him back in the now because Seb was here and there present day choice had gotten them this far. The ‘what ifs’ didn’t matter anymore.

“You had cat litter stuck to your cheek.” He tried to laugh but his voice came out a bit breathy. “I know you can’t stay tonight, and I’m okay with that, I’ll have great company and it’ll feel a little better here. But, you don’ t have to leave just yet do you?” He felt selfish even asking, he knew Seb had a lot of studying to do and that he studied better in his own place without distraction. “I mean, just for a few more hours? We don’t have to do anything big. We could just hang out? I can make us dinner and we could watch one of your trashy shows you love so much. Just for two hours even, maybe by then she’ll be awake and I'll have some entertainment.” He tried to keep his tone teasing, but Seb had done so much for him today and he didn’t want him to go yet. So he laughed and then swallowed, working himself up for his next question.

“And maybe soon, um, like in the next month or so I could, well, maybe spend the weekend at your place? I could make you your first home cooked meal in your actual house. You could show me your favorite spots around your part of town, I mean, we’re always here. Your place is just as important as mine.” He gave a smile showing he meant it, his thumb tracing over Seb’s long fingers in a comforting rhythm to the sounds of his cat's sweet purrs. It may have seemed a simple request, but it was a big deal for him and Seb knew that because Blaine had never asked to go before, and Seb had never asked him there either. They both knew it would be a task creating a new comfort space for Blaine to be in and for Seb to share his life. But their relationship was more than this apartment and this part of New York, it was everywhere and Blaine wanted to show that.

It was out there now and he found he didn’t want to take it back.

Sebastian’s POV:

“I wish I could just imagine what it felt like to fall asleep that fast.” Sebastian shrugged his shoulders and watched the peaceful scene. “Your floor is a mess. I guess you better get used to it. There’s probably no need in picking it up, right? It’s really taking a lot for me to just...not start picking all of those mice up.” He laughed, “maybe we should get a tote or something for all of this crap.”

Sebastian could sense the change in Blaine’s honied eyes. He thumb brushed against his cheek, reminiscent of a snowy New Year’s Eve. He would have felt mortified for having fucking cat litter on his face if it weren’t for the look on the other man’s face. Blaine looked hopeful and was looking at Seb like he was the most perfect thing his eyes had ever fallen upon. Normally he’d say something sarcastic or witty but no words fell from his usually silver tongue. God, Blaine could make him feel so much better with just a glance of those damn eyes, the color of dead leaves, chrysanthemums, and sun tea. Seb swallowed the lump in his throat and tried for a sly smile, but instead his just for B grin spread across his face. “Of course. We can do whatever you want.” He cleared his throat, “Umm. I can make a pot of coffee when I get back and dig into my schoolwork.”

He was a little taken off guard when Blaine mentioned visiting his place. Sebastian could swear that Blaine could see his thoughts painted across his forehead or something. Maybe it just came with knowing somebody for so long or maybe Sebastian didn’t have as good of a poker face as he thought.

“We can do that. There’s no rush.” Sebastian laced his fingers with his boyfriend’s. “But, what will we ever do without Ms. Katy Perry watching over us like our very own gay Goddess?” He laughed and pointed at the candy colored poster on Blaine’s wall. “I don’t own anything quite that colorful. Just imagine like...an updated version of the apartment in American Psycho. God, that’s a terrible description isn’t it? But, my father did hand pick it after all so I suppose it’s on brand.” He took a breath,” all jokes aside, I’d love that. Now, what were you planning on making for dinner? I’d ask if you need my help but we both Know I would start a fire or cut my finger off or something.”

Blaine’s POV:

“It’s alright, Seb.” He shook his head and gently squeezed his boyfriend's hand. “I promise at bedtime I’ll pick all the toys up. I think I have a small container up in my closet that I can use until I can get something better. And the next time you’re here they won't be spread out like that, I just wanted to give her options for her first day here.” Of course Seb was worried about the little tornado of toys around his miniature apartment. Adorable.

Blaine noted the way Sebastian cleared his throat, his voice a little wobbly and emotional as he told him they could do whatever he wanted and he wondered if it was because he was thinking about the night they reconnected too. Seb was looking at him adoringly with his big grin, the one that only Blaine really got to see, and big green blue eyes that told him he’d done something right. He looked up at his boyfriend, and gave him a relieved smile as Seb relented and said he’d stay. He wanted nothing more than for Seb to always look at him that way. It wasn’t something he was used to, maybe years ago, but now, he had the chance again and he wasn’t going to let it drift away. And maybe wanting him to stay was selfish, but Blaine was never selfish and today he wanted to be.

“You’re right, what will we do?” He teased as he thought over what he had to cook in his small refrigerator. He laughed over the American Psycho quip because of course Seb’s house was sophisticated and plain. “I guess I’ll just have to decorate your house up with various pop stars, won’t I? I’ll make sure there’s an extra pop of fluorescent pink just for you. I’ll make sure your fairy lights are a delightful shade of purple. You can pay me back by keeping your axes in your car for the night.” He paused, giggling at their jokes before pressing another kiss to Seb’s lips. “I’d really love to be there, too. Let me go see what I can put together.”

Blaine didn’t have much, but he had ground turkey, pasta and cheese, red pepper flakes and some bread from the deli so he put together a simple spaghetti and meat sauce with a little bit of a kick and made his own garlic bread. Over the next three hours they sipped on coffee and iced water and watched one of Seb’s terrible reality shows while Soot snoozed away, exhausted from her busy day. And after the dishes were cleared and they were settled back on the couch they kissed and giggled and messed around a little bit. They didn’t get too serious, but their lips were swollen by the end of the night and Seb let Blaine put his hands all over him- teasing and touching until Blaine was sure Seb went home for the night completely satisfied.

After he’d gone, Blaine sent Sebastian a photo of all Soot’s toys cleaned up and tucked under the little coffee table so she could get them out when she wanted; See, all clean! To which Seb sent a photo back of his homework spread out in front of him, yet another cup of coffee just visible in the frame; Yes, looks so much better! And a bit later, in bed, right before falling asleep, Blaine sent Seb a photo of Soot curled up next to him against the wall by his head. Blaine angled it to show the empty space where Seb was absent; The only thing missing is you. <3. A bit later, Seb sent one of himself back, lying in bed, his chest exposed, with a little grin on his face. The spot next to him empty; Ditto. Your spot is waiting.

And then they fell asleep with declarations of I love you’s and wishes of goodnight’s from both of them.

/fin.

#Para: All's Well That Ends Well #Seblaine #twoblueheartslocked #colorsicantsee #para #seblaine canon divergence

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