#My point is that many of the characters do legitimately bad things

[hadleysmis]

Montparnasse finds Gavroche

... In Hadley's AU, that is

May contain sensitive topics

Setting: The Northern island of Japan formally known as Ainu Mosir now adorns the name Hokkaidou after its official annexation. It is the 1930s and the engine of war does not pause in its acceleration.

There's two things I would like to establish happens in my AU: 1) Jean Valjean takes care of Cosette ever since she was a baby unlike in the book where she is a child ; 2) Cosette represents that no one can be a perfect victim.

With my Ainu storyline headed by Éponine largely in the prior sections and by Gavroche in the latter, I handle how I can insert Jean Valjean and Cosette's bucket scene with Montparnasse and Gavroche; and I also will handle the theme about the violent, ultimately justified minority.

Long post.

Some time ago, I wrote about my AU's Éponine being lynched in one of my posts.

After Gavroche grieved for her, the family decides to bury her before any authority got a hold of her. As M. Thénardier used to be paid to dig up bodies and earn money off from handing over skulls and buried accessories, he was scared in what they would do to his daughter.

After they had buried her, they notified the Police that she had simply gone missing, and that there were no known suspicious, potential perpatrators.

After the initial grieving days pass by, Gavroche finds his parents to continue living in Hakodate and not consider travelling 'back home'.

As Gavroche was too young to remember the time he had spent in Asahikawa (more up north than the southern-located Hakodate which was also the family's hometown), his constant pleas were ignored.

Because he was a child, and none of his siblings were born during the mass starvation tactic for assimilation of the Ainus, he did not know how harsh the situation was in Asahikawa.

Paralleling one of the great mistakes from Jean Valjean when caring for Cosette wherein he refused to correct and her and educate her on the reality of the past due to the desire of not reliving the trauma, the Thénardiers also pay the price for the miseducation of their later generation with Éponine and Gavroche.

Azelma, closer to her mother and therefore know more about her mother's life than Gavroche, makes her conclusion at the current age of sixteen to stay in Hakodate with her parents.

They argue, and Azelma argues that she wants to be Japanese.

"Even after all that the Wajin have done to us?" Gavroche almost screams in defence. In shock and horror from the dissonance from his sister, he holds himself back and instead speaks in bursts, much like a scared young dog barking.

After the multitude of attempts in maintaining an act, the walls of water in her eyes well up, and she speaks in a low, harsh whisper which echoes through the house. "What other choice do we have?"

It seems Azelma had a call of realisation earlier than Éponine had; perhaps at the same time despite not having been together. Perhaps she had felt a shiver or a severed connection as Éponine predicted, her words jagged by the involuntarily rhythms of gasps, "They're going to wipe out every one of us."

Azelma then spoke like a bee's sting: "I mean look at us. We're not even Ainus anymore."

Her words injected into her brother's bloodstream, and like how a bee tears its bottom, separating itself from the venom, Azelma gasped in shock, her mouth open, pulling in her falling tears like a slow black hole.

In terror of her own words, and in shame for still believing in her stance, Azelma rushed into her room, and thus never seeing Gavroche again.

The young teenager then took his part, planning to run away at last. He had dreamt of it with Éponine. She was the one who could've agreed to his adventurous whims and patriotic protest; only if there had been more time to convince her.

As a last farewell, he goes to his sister's grave and finds two men chatting and laughing as they dig u her body. One speaks of how grave digging is below him as a job for his status (reference to Gribier), and another who was an anthropologist.

There is also implication of rape as Éponine is a fresh corpse and not a skeleton; the two men must want either the treasures (like accessories) buried with her, or they wanted her.

Gavroche, fuelled by anger and disgust never known to him before, attacks both, and ends up killing one with a rock. The Gribier character had ran away.

Gavroche realises that he's going to die, and that this was the end for him. And he never got to go home.

It is then here we have an unexpected reference to the book; except, it isn't the father-daughter dynamic from Jean Valjean and Young Cosette, but instead father-son dynamic from Montparnasse and Gavroche.

Rather than a bucket gently being lifted, it is the bloodied rock.

However, the moment Gavroche realises there was another strong man in the scene, he is afraid. Montparnasse is a Wajin, and Gavroche tries to flee, but due to his adrenaline and energy being all spent, along with the brutal partner of realisation of murder, Gavroche crawls away and coughs deeply like he was unwillingly summoning vomit.

Montparnasse had watched on, and he makes a statement to the young boy that there is no such thing as a perfect victim.

This branch of the story is a more clear cut message from Cosette's storyline. While Cosette sympathises with the Japanese to an extent, and believes that there may be peace in the future (much like the relationship the indigenous populations of Japan on paper have today), Montparnasse, a yakuza, believes that this engines which crushes minorities to survive will perpetuate forever.

He believes that there is no rebellion, no revolution, and no change given to the system unless there's violence. If there's passive protest, then peace may be reached with a flip of a coin long after their deaths, or never at all.

He tells Gavroche that in order to live one must fight, and therefore he reassures him that he is not going to tell on the authorities about him. In fact, he was on his side.

The bloodied rock that Gavroche didn't even realise he was still grabbing tightly onto is then lifted by the yakuza, and Gavroche feels as though much of his burdens floated away with that rock.

When Montparnasse tossed the rock away, there was malice in his mind, but no anger shown in his throw. He just tosses it near the dead man's head as though it was a mere coincidence.

Montparnasse didn't care about death anyway; he had murdered himself in order to get to the point he was in.

When Montparnasse offers his cool hand, Gavroche takes it, much like how Cosette had when Jean Valjean offered his.

Montparnasse asks where Gavroche had intended to go.

"Go where?"

"You said you were dead. And that you never got to go back home."

"I have no home."

"Then where did you mean by what you said? Isn't a home what you make of it? Where did you want to go?"

Gavroche doesn't answer.

He instead presses for Montparnasse to leave so he could bury his sister again but Montparnasse suggests they go further deep into the forest and dig a new grave elsewhere.

Even though the task was carried out completely silent save for Gavroche's sniffs and whimpers, the meaning was huge.

Gavroche and Montparnasse bury her and this takes all night and day.

Exhausted, Gavroche reveals where he believed was his home: "Asahikawa." He did not elaborate beyond that; echoing the characteristic of Éponine's speech patterns.

But Montparnasse understood, and they got on a train together and headed up north.

Some of Montparnasse's enemies were on the train, and he fearlessly kills them. Gavroche is tasked to be a lookout as Montparnasse washes up.

They chuck the corpses out of the moving train, and Gavroche realises what a dangerous man he is trusting— and feeling comfort to.

Gavroche sticks close to Montparnasse as they sit in their seats, and the latter imposes authority if anybody dared to question Gavroche.

We don't get to see them actually arrive at Asahikawa nor what happens in their stay. Them heading off is more of me saying goodbye to Gavroche's storyline as I think it reaches satisfaction.

There is many problems in between why Montparnasse would find Gavroche, though. He does have a connection with the Thénardiers, but why would he favour Gavroche's side?

I'm guessing he had already met with the rest of the Thénardiers when Gavroche was absent and on the run. Or maybe Montparnasse visited them when Gavroche was off in his 'high' in his acceptance of indigenous identity where he was celebrating by doing rituals and wearing traditional clothes, etc.

Montparnasse, other than being a yakuza member, is very mysterious to me. He first appears in the AU when the Great Kantou Earthquake Massacre was happening, and provides the viewpoint of the mass executions the officials were making of communists, socialists, and pro-union citizens. (Meanwhile Javert provided the viewpoint of officials encouraging the mass lynchings of Koreans, and Jean Valjean and Cosette being the viewpoints of many ethnic minorities being slaughtered by the public.)

He calls the communists and whatnot his friends, but I have not created scenes where he directly converses or associates himself with them.

As far as I have made him, he could possibly be a communist, or Korean, or any other minority that was killed within that short period of time.

This is important of a detail as it would then explain why he would take pity on the Thénardiers and even come to visit them and eventually take Gavroche in.

When it comes to this type of history and its inseparable politics, I always stood on the ground that connection and communication between minority groups are important in order to keep the majority on a leash or outright cause a change through international pressure.

I'm supposing this was my reasoning for writing this storyline— as it emphasises empathy and togetherness, with the painful string of oppression and trauma grouping them together.

Anyways, while Cosette and Marius' storyline comments on my support for better education on history, this storyline represents more of my social beliefs in how minorities should stick together.

'If one minority isn't free, we all aren't free.'

The storyline was also inspired by one of the beginnings scenes, if not the beginning scene, from the 1996 Korean adaptation of Les Misérables, the Priest Francesco (Bishop Myriel) watches an insect struggle in the snow. it seems to be a metaphor on how the underprivileged act in away that is natural to the circumstance: just as the ant flails and struggles to stay alive in the snow, we are later shown a mentally unstable man with a knife having stabbed a woman.

I just came up with this storyline, so it's a baby. Who knows how this will develop, if at all.

If you did make it down here, ahhhhh I'm so happy and grateful. You have a nice day!

[cripplecharacters]

This might be redundant because it is about my own disability, but I’m on the autism spectrum with moderate needs and I am a part-time AAC user. I wanted to represent myself in a character, but I was recently told that my depiction of this character was infantilizing, which hurt because they were based off of me. Would it be okay to get some of my points reviewed, just so I can check if I screwed it up as badly as other people thought I did?

-This character still lives with their father as a caretaker, and while they love and trust him, they have some resentment for how overprotective he can be, since he still sees them as his baby. -They’re more comfortable verbally communicating with people they know and trust, or when talking to themself about their special interest. The rest of the time, they use an AAC tablet which was slightly modified in terms of aesthetic to fit the worldbuilding of my story, but retains all the general functions of a modern AAC application. -This character has several meltdowns over the course of the story. In one of them, they lash out at someone they love and run away, and in another, they completely lose the ability to communicate. These meltdowns are inspired by the way I’ve felt when overstimulated, but they’re also there to drive the plot. Because of this, one of them puts them in serious danger. -This character exists in a psychological horror setting, so they actually spend most of the story in legitimate danger, alongside characters of other neurotypes. -They’re very blunt and straightforward, and usually say things with no regard for if they’d sound mean or not, because they aren’t moderating their own tone of voice if they’re speaking out loud. -They’re technically a minor antagonist, since nobody knows who’s side they’re on for most of the book.

I don’t see anything that wrong with my character, but I just wanted to make sure there were no huge issues that I somehow missed. I don’t want to be “bad representation” myself, you know?

Hi asker,

I do not see anything wrong with your character, and especially so because you are basing it off of yourself.

You, and your needs, are not bad representation. End sentence.

Nothing here is jumping out as being infantilizing. I think something that happens is people can confuse "having more significant support needs and/or more obvious signs of disability" with actual infantilization, which is treating people like they are children who cannot make decisions for themselves.

Having an autistic character live with their parent isn't infantilization, having them use AAC or have meltdowns isn't either. Having a caretaker isn't infantilization. Not even the father being overprotective is necessarily infantilization – how many overprotective parents of abled and disabled kids alike exist? (A lot.)

You know already because you based this character off of you, but more people need to remember that these are just things that people can do or need. None of those by themselves are infantilization!

Autism is a spectrum. This spectrum includes people who can't do things that abled people can do easily, and people who can't do things that other disabled and even other autistic people can do easily. Some can do these things with help. Some can't at all. Showing this is not infantilization.

A person (or character)'s disability disabling them is not infantilization.

There's nothing wrong with your character, asker. No one's needs are "bad representation," and my heart goes out to you that you were made to feel that way. That is deeply unfair to you.

Hope this helps,

mod sparrow

[absolutebl]

Love Sea - A Trash Watch Smolder

Well my BLabies, do you have your drinks ready?

Are your smores stabbed on dildos, ready to roast over the stinking flames? (Or whatever one prods smores with, I missed that weird American tradition in my misspent youth.)

Can you smell it in the air? The smell of burning trash?

Let the dumpster fire begin. Another Mame offering is upon us.

The Background

The Mameverse tends to interlock, but all signs point to these being entirely new characters. (Click on that link if you want my thoughts on this author/producer and what I feel she does well and poorly.) Meanwhile, here's the brief:

Who?

FortPeat - established couple from previous Mame offering Love in the Air AKA LITA (trash watched here).

How do we feel about them? We likie. They a great pair. Steady, established actors, good a promo, but not too good. Bit one note but can't ask for too much when it comes with such great chemistry.

What do we know about them as actors? Fort is legitimately in Engineering (hilarious). Peat and he started in the industry around the same time with bit parts, but Peat is 4 years older. They do high heat and they do it well. They were quite popular after their first series and have received sponsorships. So they wisely stayed branded and it's nice to see them on our screens again.

What?

Love Sea

While travelling a writer has a one night stand with a very irritating man.

When?

Sundays

Where?

iQIYI (AKA icky)

Why?

Mame

To what degree?

Stick your thermometer into that fire, we gonna find out. 102°C I expect.

Episode One - That's An Outfit We'd All Wear to a Tropical Island

Here’s the thing. Icky has decided (in its infinite wisdom) that it will no longer allow screen caps on mobile devices. Which means you’re going to get my loquaciousness on this dumpster fire with no respite from the unmitigated madness via photos of pretty boys saying stupid things.

So. Read at your own risk.

I have a bottle of sake and a maple doughnut (don’t knock it 'til you’ve tried it) so let’s get started!

Hold onto your dildo smores BLabies we are in Mame Country. And apparently that country has its very own baby drone to film with now. (Look, the one thing BL rarely needs more distance shots. That’s not what we’re here for, people. Certainly not from FortPeat.)

Rak, baby, I'm loving the all-black western meets goth-rocker look but that eye make-up is the true star. This is how I shall dress when I visit Thailand next. (Oh, you think I'm joking? Gotta work on my smokey eye.)

Meanwhile, if your suitcases are that expensive, why aren’t they matched?

P'ABL asking the important questions for once.

Speaking of important questions:

Why are siblings always trying to pimp each other out in Mame’s stuff? Does anyone else find this creepy? I think it’s odd to be your sibling's wingman when he's chasing tail. It’s edging into the incest taboo. Oh dear, I said edging and incest in the same sentence, I’m probubly giving Mame ideas.

I’m getting Hometown Cha Cha Cha vibes from Mut.

Rak is such a cat, very picky and stand-offish. Mut is such a puppy. Very conflicting personalities. Not a bad combo. Also Rich/poor. Country/city.

The "let’s get it on" music is hilarious. But at least Mame doesn't use egregious sound effects in her shows. Well, not as many as GMMTV. Small mercies.

I will say, FortPeat do hurt/comfort very well. Peat is good at prickly fragile baby-girl. Fort is good at cocky arrogant prick. They are good at bouncing off of each other and still showing desire. Frankly, chemistry is not one of their problems. They’re fine little actors. It’s just the story is going to betray them. Characters are going to be inexplicably evil for no good reason. And we are going to feel manipulated as a result.

But right now?

It’s fine.

And that's it, that's how I feel about Love Sea.

All in all, I’m quite drunk and it wasn’t warranted.

Waste of sake. Not a waste of a maple doughnut. No such thing. Maple donuts are always put to good use.

Okay, so Mame? Just keep it on this level and we'll remain fine. Some light terrorizing and stalking, a smidge of breaking and entering. Nothing more offensive, okay?

But that’s my eternal optimism (and the sake) talking.

Right now I’m not feeling very strongly in any direction about this show. I haven’t been whipped into a verbal frenzy.

This has been a lackluster start.

Kortord tukorn

(sorry all)

This trash watch has started off as more of a dumpster smolder. A light recycling. (Like Mame and her character archetypes.)

We smokey rather than flaming (Like Rak's FANTASTIC eye makeup.)

Oof, I feel faintly ill. I think that is the sake, tho, not the eye make up. Which was on point! Although when he started to cry, it should’ve started running down his face. Life has very few stand out moments of glory apart from an adorable young man with eye makeup running down his face.

Catch ya next week. More sake, less doughnut.

su su na

Episode Two - Rack's Green Knit Shirt is Kinda Cute

I seriously cannot fault FortPeat's chemistry. And the opening sequence for this ep was intriguingly full of banter and then...

Surprise, BJ!

I do hope that beach is private. Starting with a BJ is very unusual in a BL. We certainly lick live in interesting times.

I feel like I haven't quite been warmed up to a sex scene yet. Kinda came out of nowhere. I mean it IS quite gay, making the prick front and center before the relationship gets going. But I was oddly indifferent to this start.

I'm on gd roll tonight apparently.

You know why? (Well, I'm me, but also...)

I feel like I have license. This show is kinda rude. Is that the word I’m looking for? Yes, rude. It's not very sexy, and it's not quite dirty, it's something else. Rude.

I’m not upset about it. It’s just odd. Like Thailand is trying on some Japanese button pushing for size.

I’m not mad just mildly confused.

Meanwhile, the GL sides are a "whipping girl" trope? Not sure I’ve ever we seen that combo before. Gay mean girls or something?

On an entirely different note, BL universe, I just thought I'd tell you that’s not where a gay man of Rak's caliber puts his perfume. Just FYI. 

I love claiming.

I love a public claiming!

I don’t care if this is Mame.

I LOVE A CLAIMING. 

Also, I am very much enjoying MutRak banter. Actually, I’m pretty much enjoying this episode.

OOOO, I typed too soon.

The second half is kinda dull.

Mame's little moment of "Author insert" was awful ham-handed and on the nose. On the prick? On the ego? She compared her own rampant mischaracterization and audience manipulation to the presence of dragons in a fantasy world? Basically saying: in BL my characters don’t have to be consistent, because that’s part of the genre.

I assure you, sweetheart, there are plenty of BLs and plenty of authors who have honest characterization that stays consistent throughout, and GASP actually bolsters faithful stories and drives plot with a conflict sourced in that consistency. Wandee Goodday... to pluck a randomly contemporaneous example out of thin air. You should try it sometime.

Ooo, now I'm salty.

Episode 3 - But Now, I'm Bored

Before we start....

Linguistics Corner!

Because I got an Ask here's a bit on these two and their pronouns! (We can see if my predictions are correct during the course of this trash watch.) We are in the realm of adult characters not school setting or friendship groups so Rak is using chan/nai and khun with Mut. There is a class & wealth difference with them, + Mut starts out as a kind of employee, so chan/nai makes perfect sense. It's an old fashioned but polite way of speaking that dodges age negotiations. Rak likely doesn't know their respective ages (he could be the older one). To even begin the discussion implies a willingness to use more intimate language so Rak likely doesn't wanna open that can of worms pronouns. He is using both chan/nai and his lack of flexibility around their use as a distancing tactic. Probubly instinctively. Pom or own name would be both intimate and status lowering for him to use. With most adult characters, phi/nong takes longer to establish (if ever), particularly if they start out as strangers. Also, it has much more intimate connotations. And by that I mean: emotional vulnerability not sex. It's fun to pay attention tho, because when these two pronoun shift (and they will) it's likely to be a significant moment in their romantic arc. If I'm lucky we will get a negotiation but that's not really a Meme thing so I suspect Mut will soften his language first. Because of Mut's characterization, and in order to ramp up the romance, I would actually expect these two to (eventually) parlay into rao/ter instead of phi/pom or guu/mueng. But I am looking forward to finding out how it's handled.

And now onto the episode.

...

..

.

Over a quarter way through and I have absolutely nothing to say. I apologize, this muse be a very boring trash watch. (Imagine how I feel?) I’m too tired to drink but even if there were alcohol in my system, I still think I would have nothing to say. 

Oh. Is that? Do I sense.... *GASP*

Traumatic backstories for our characters?

From Mame? Who seems to believe that no character can have depth without suffering?

Say it isn't so?

OK we’re now halfway through this episode and apparently there’s been a Time-lapse of some kind? A couple of weeks?

So this little cat & dog game they’ve been playing has been going on for a while?

Meanwhile...

I had a huge grin on my face at the moment Ja showed up. I guess I really miss him on my screen. Hi tall drink of water.

Oh, hydration.

Back to the show.

Just two boys with abandonment issues learning how to turn a vacation fling into a relationship mistake.

Also it’s a bit too early for that level of confessional. Isn't it? Well pacing-wise for a BL it feels that way. Are we now about to turn into a country mouse narrative?

On an entirely different note, it’s fascinating to have FortPeat and MosBank airing to high heat BLs at the same time. Especially as they're running on about the same release schedule. I’m enjoying watching 2 pairs both like in chemistry.

WAIT.

I sense a parody coming on.

Two branded pairs, both alike in chemistry, In fair Thailand, where all the cute boys yearn, From ancient grudge to suffer new Mame, Where trash watches make dumpster fires burn. From Fort the fatal loins of these two hoes (I HAD TO). A pair of branded pairs take on the heat; Whose narratives will oft include no clothes, Do with their smooches fight Tumblr critique. Such shameful usage of the dub-con trope, (Contrasted to others thirsty scenes,) Which, but for Mame's brand, all would say nope, Is now 12 eps of angst upon our screens. To wit, if you want sex without my diatribes, Give this a pass and watch Sunset X Vibes.

Thank you thank you. That is for the 3 people reading this who care.

Where was I?

Or right, no fault to FortPeat. Both pairs are working with the characters and scripts that they've been given.

But right now the sexitimes in this show just feel a lot more service and a lot less genuine (for lack of a better word) then Sunset X Vibes. Now, I know that the characters, narrative, and production company preferences are completely different, but the consummate interplay between surrender and hunger and consummation are oddly similar between these pairs, and yet they're reading (from this side of the screen) completely differently.

I don’t know where I’m going with this.

I just think we have an interesting study in heat and chemistry airing double down right now. And I wonder is anyone else is sensing what I'm sensing.

Writing that sonnet (or whatever) has utterly exhausted me. Nighty night. Don't let the guy-who-took-a-copy-of-your-hotel-key-and-broke-into-your-room bite.

Episode 4 - And Now, I'm Bored & Annoyed

I rushed back from the wilds of foreign climes to trash watch what exactly?

All this time spent establishing Mut as a

pillar of his community

really important lynchpin for oceanic conservation work

striving for his independence

building local friendships and surrogate family

the de facto mayor of this island

And he just leaves for Bangkok to be a boy toy?

And they JOKE about it?

Is the stuff between Mook and Mut supposed to be funny? It's not.

I got so bored I started looking up ways to organize my sunglasses.

Why is Mook so worried about Rak? He’s clearly an asshole who can take care of himself.

What is Mut doing with his life?

What am I doing with mine?

Too early in the series for an existential crisis.

I definitely need to start drinking again for this one.

Episode 5 - In which I simultaneously got even more bored & more annoyed

This time I armed myself with both booze and sugar. Unfortunately, there are some things even alcohol and chocolate can't cure. Mame is one of those things.

The bullying GL subplot is just BAD.

I’m getting an overall EPIC SQUICK from the fact that the two rich privileged characters are essentially taking advantage of the two lower class poorer characters. It’s not a power dynamic I enjoy at all. Ever.

So... everyone in Rak’s family is an extreme bitch, including him? Okaaay.

I mean Rak is pretty and all but I fail to understand the appeal. Maybe Mut just likes bitches? Maybe the sex really is that great?

I tell you, I wouldn’t put up with it.

ARGH. I'm just I’m not finding any of the character dynamics appealing in this show. I never thought I’d say this, but I wish I were back in LITA territory. 

I’m honestly sorry this trash watch is so bad.

This show isn’t inspiring me into anything but a general feeling of mild annoyance and slight fury.

It's like this rash I had in Stockholm one time.

Startlingly unpleasant, not what one might hope for, but also it could be worse, I suppose.

Episode 6 - In which I get very upset about jealousy

Tonight I'm combining my sugar with my alcohol and drinking chocolate soy milk with chocolate liquor in it. I'm aware that I have a child's taste in booze. The secret is I don't actually enjoy alcohol, I simply need it to survive Mame.

OK let’s do it.

Rich boy shops when sad.

Frankly, that always makes me feel better too. I prefer the snack aisle myself.

Oh. Goodie. You get to now watch ABL completely losing an entire brain due to raging at the machine because of one sentence.

Ready?

Chapter 6: Jealousy is a Sign of Love

Jealousy is a sign of love?! You absolute fuckers. Jealousy is not a sign of love, jealousy is a sign of possession, insecurity, insanity, and often abuse. Jealousy is a sign to dump that shithead as quickly as possible.

I mean, we all understand the story beat: in BL possession is revered and admired and used to drive plot when all other avenues have been exhausted. But you can’t just say it as the title of an episode! That’s too blatant.

TOO FAR!

Returning to the traumatic backstory. 

No, actually. Let’s skip that part.

I do like it when Rak gets all bossy. I love it when a spoiled boy manipulates his man's body to be his bolster pillow. Taiwan is particularly good at this.

Should I just go watch We Best Love for the 1millionth time instead of this show?

Too tempting.

Where was I?

It’s not even halfway through and I’ve already finished my drink in desperation. And am day dreaming of better shows.

Honestly, I have had many feelings about Meme over the years, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this bored with any of her stuff. I’d rather feel something than nothing.

Meanwhile, the GL moves on from bullying to outright manipulation and gaslighting. Cute. Added French for flavor.

I do like a smile kiss. And a lap sit. And so forth. So Fort.

Yes these two do sex scenes very well.

Give me something more.

Anything.

On the bright side... so far... no singing.

Episode 7 - I'm Too Drunk for This

This time, I decided to pre-game. So I went in tipsy. I’m hoping this improves my mood.

Look, I'm doing my best for you here. (Or am I doing my floppyest for you? Eh, same difference.)

Frankly, what’s really annoying me is that I am neither upset nor pleased with this flipping show. Turns out, I like to be driven one way or the other by Mame. But this show? Nada. It's a VOID.

At this juncture I'd prefer to feel rage than indifference.

I gotta say that thinking about this purely as a soap opera makes me understand it more. I don't like it any better, but I get what's going on. These are the Days of Our BL.

Oh hey, I know that convention center! Best food in the biz.

The revenge bit was fun I guess?

Ooo. Now I kinda wanna rewatch Shelter. It’s been ages. Such a great movie. 

Where was I?

Oh, right, the crazy cousin character. I don’t understand what’s going on with her. Why do we need her? Why is she here? What’s her motivation?

I’m too drunk for this shit.

I'm going to bed.

Episode 8 - I'm Not Drunk Enough for This

(I detect a theme)

Okay so the hotel wifi is not awful, we gonna try watching icky with it. Always a challenge. Wish me luck!

Wouldn't it be fun if Mut has been conning Rak with this good guy persona the entire time and he really is just after money? I kinda love the idea.

Sadly, I think this is way more boring.

Rak is just a bitch, not even a sublime bitch, but a boring bitch. That's worse than a basic one.

The drama with the dad just seems manufactured. I mean what does the dad want except to be evil?

I mean I know what Mame wants, an excuse for Rak to break Mut's heart.

And now, I'm annoyed and hungry. Imma eat hotel snacks and disappointment in equal measure.

Episode 9 - Perhaps I'm the problem?

I did this already and then tumblr ate it so this time around it's not as witty. Trust me that in the first assessment I was all charm. Now I am all sarcasm.

I enjoyed the random fight scenes. At least something happened. Also the collapsing in his arms was very dramatic.

I can see why Mame reused this pair for this show, because Peat is so good at being broken & fragile (see previous role).

But also… I feel like I’ve seen all of this before. Oh right, the psychotic breakdown scene in TharnType. The fragile broken uke from Love By Chance. The seme with a heart of gold and fists of steel from… all of them. 

I find this exhausting.

Is anyone else exhausted?

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again (AKA watching Mame) and expecting a different result. I must be certifiably bonkers at this juncture.

Second half of this show I begin to wonder one thing. (Well my mind wanders a lot but this particular thought bubbled to the surface.) 

Is this show actually an okay Thai BL?

Wait! Hear me out.

If this were ones first Meme, would it be… fine? In other words, if I didn’t have this storied (or lack of story, nash) history with her creative endeavors, would this bore me this much?

Is this actually just an average mildly enjoyable high-heat Thai BL to others, who are coming to her stuff for the first (or maybe the second) time?

Is it over-exposure or the has traumatized me in this way?

Am I corrupted through overindulgence?

Is this all my own fault?

Should I be taking a break from her? Should I not watch the next 3 productions that she does, and then return to her with fresh feelings of openness and amenable temper?

Is it me who is the problem? 

Yet the act of asking that last question makes me feel like I’m in the same kind of abusive relationship with Mame that Rak was with his father.

Then I feel like I need to drink more. Or see a therapist.

So that’s enough philosophy for one evening.

And then, at the very very end A THRILL DESCENDED UPON ME.

Watching the stinger for next weekI was all… 

Is this a 10 epper? Oh my God it is! Fantastic. Next week is the last one! I SEE THE LIGHT. 

Episode 10 - The Lingering Scent of Disappointment

Today I am drinking a soju cocktail. Which I can highly recommend. If you're a lightweight but you like vodka, Fresh Soju is actually a pretty decent substitute with a lower alcohol content. 

This has been your bartender lesson for today, moving on.

Wait. 

If the Maa could’ve fixed this all along by throwing the Dad in jail, why didn’t she? Why did she put her kids through all of this bullshit with stalking and abuse? Also the mom character was basically a deus ex machina, except she didn’t even happen on screen. It was action taken to solve what little plot there was... entirely off screen. How weird. I don’t even have a term for that. Bad writing? Recon explanation? Of screen resolution?

OK, Fort is acting so well in the breakup scene. I adore that “how much do I need to pay you to fall in love with me” parrots the original “how much do I need to pay you to sleep with me”. I must give props for that level of emotional manipulation in a romance drama of this type. 

That said, I feel for Rak, it’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Meanwhile... I have run out of alcohol and I am now eating brownie bites. Because life (and d**k) is too short and so is my patience. 

Why is that tattoo so absolutely terribly obviously fake?

Someone take tattoos and wigs away from Thailand. Just strip them out of all wardrobe departments in the entire Thai film industry. Clearly they can’t handle that level of POWER. It’s giving me trauma.

I do like that the solution to the drama of the break up was an actual sincere and abject apology. Very mature and grown up of you Mame. 

I wish they’d woven the number 8 throughout more of the show, like into the pattern of Rak’s shirts and maybe an earring or cuff.

Did they entirely forget about the GL side not-plot? Or is it just me not paying attention because I’m distracted by brownie bites? 

Regardless, I genuinely let out the biggest yawn during the very ending scene. It’s nowhere near my bedtime.

And… that’s it I guess.

I’m going on the record at this point. I don’t think I can do a trash watch of Mame again. It’s exhausting. And also is it really worth my (or your) time? This screed was so lackluster.

Final thoughts? 

This is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and mad I was so bored throughout.

So It gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it.

Conclusion? I’m left residually upset that FortPeat and all their talents are wasted on Mame. That seems unfair to them. And to us, quite frankly. 

************************************

All my trash watches are here:

(source)

[elytra404]

IM FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THIS NEW EPISODE????? THE RULER MAY BE THE BEST EPISODE IN MY EYES OF THE SEASON SO FAR???

I have so many things to say soooo warning for spoilers below

1. Genesis has limits!! We don't see it very clearly but the item's disappearance when Marc makes new ones or when they're knocked out his hands. SO I think the limitation of genesis is focus. You have to be thinking of the item and focused. It gets knocked out your hands and you get surprised? It's gone. Plus it has to be something you can imagine it seems.

2. I'm obsessed with Nath's fighting style. My boy had marker knives. MARKER KNIVES. He used a big paint pallet as a shield!!! A big ass pencil as a javelin!!! And he's so cute doing it! (That being said, I'm still gonna be calling him Caprisun 💙🖤🤍)

3. The most overt queer metaphor I have ever seen, and I watched 'I saw the TV glow' over the weekend. Legitimately. At what point does it stop being subtext and just become the text cause I feel like at this point it's just the text. I'm fucking obsessed with it I adored this episode I will be rewatching it for the rest of time. Nath transforming in a closet, "set him straight", the hand holding, the just straight up gay nights that clearly reflect nathmarc and adrinette??

4. The adrinette subplot. A. peak fanfic vibes I am obsessed. Love me a good sickfic. B. I've seen some posts talking about the adrinette subplot seeming like it was irrelevant (though I haven't see anyone complaining about that and I agree even if it wasn't it was adorable and I love a good character development filler subplot), but I disagree. I think having a subplot for adrinette, legitimately no matter what it was, was a really good call. The parallel between Marc and Nath's story and Adrinette's lives are so obvious, and it leads me to a faint theory.

4.5. (Said theory) I think Mari or Adri are gonna make a wish. I think it might be Adri especially? Or Adri does the miraculous Chat Noir on something serious? Something bad is gonna happen, like real bad, and their gonna loose their powers, but a wish or a big event are gonna fix it while also revealing identity. That's the direct parallel right?

5. Another theory based on The Ruler and El Toro, I think episode 22 is not only gonna be akuma!mari, which I think is a common theory (Seriously 'Lady Chaos' really sounds like akuma!mari). But I also think it's gonna be caused by an issue with her parents, or Natalie. Marinette has been doing her best this season with all the parenting struggles happening for her friends. Ivan's dad being a dick, Jules struggling with her dad being absent her whole life and suddenly giving all the attention and love to her twin, and now Nath's homophobic mum. This season has a really strong theme of parental issues, almost like one of the main character's abusive dad just died and it's up rooted his life hmmmm. Mari's family isnt perfect. Dearest family and Simple Man are good examples of that. And Natalie's now debatable alliances, when Natalie is a very trusted adult for Marinette. I think this is building up to something for Mari family wise, maybe even this causing a reveal of the Gabe secret.

6. I'm obsessed with that reveal. The transformations? I swear I've read that in adrinette fanfics 100 times and that makes it so perfect for marcnath. Them, who bonded over ladybug self insert fanfic when they first met? Its Fucking Perfect. It's so them. Nath has probably read that type of fic 100 times, those fics were probably running through his mind in that moment. It is perfectly beautifully them. Whoever on the writers team thought of that, I would do anything just to get them to give me critique on my scripts because their clearly a genius.

7. I might make season 6 Marc my new pfp. I'm obsessed with him. I am fucking loving this season, and honestly even rose's design is growing on me. Juleka's and Zoe's are still my favorites, but Marc and Alya are getting close to taking over the more I see them.

[uhohbestie]

Please don't take this as hate; I don't mean it as a baseless negative remark against your fic, I mean this genuinely. I recently read TAMN and it personally wasn't for me, but given the popularity I want to know if I'm misinterpreting something or if maybe this just isn't my cup of tea (which, again, for the record is of no grievance to you, that would just be my own issues lol).

I think my biggest gripe with it was Grian as a character. Throughout the whole story, even as he justified his own actions and the narrative explained his reasoning, I hated him. And obviously, this was the point. We were meant to hate him, he's kind of a peice of shit. However, later in the story it kinda felt like there was a narrative push for Grian to be "redeemed" in his own way (namely around the time of the bite and beyond), but it still didn't feel justified to me. Scar had developed a toxic dependance for Grain, which was reasonable, given the circumstances, but Grian made efforts to course correct that, at least to me, paled in comparison to what was done. Still, the narrative forgave him, Scar forgave him, and I'm wondering if it was meant for the reader to forgive him too? The narration repeatedly explains that in any other circumstances, Grian would not have been forgiven. But is he meant to become a character we understand for his flaws? I feel like the resolution was too short for me to fully be able to rationalize that, and the main conflict wasn't resolved until what felt like the final moments. For all the bad stuff that occurred I wasn't sure. Again this isn't meant to put down your art, I'm just legitimately wondering. Thank you for your amazing contribution to so many's lives /gen

Hi! Really glad you sent this ask actually, cuz it gives us the space to talk openly about this! I'm gonna address the start of this generally and then move into TAMN in specific, just for clarity's sake. (And fwiw, not all of this is directed at you Anon, but more-so your ask being used as a jumping point to talk about this topic in general!)

So, putting TAMN (and our own biased feelings as the authors of it LOL) aside: I think that most people who've been in any fandom for a long enough time know that just because something is popular, doesn't mean it's good. And at the same time: just because something is good, doesn't mean it will be popular. What people tend to gloss over, though, is: just because something is popular or good, or maybe even both at once, doesn't mean you have to like it.

You are allowed to dislike or even hate a fanwork Just Because™️. You don't have to have a reason for it! In fact, if in trying to find a reason, you end up hurting people who do harmlessly enjoy it, maybe you're better off leaving well enough alone, you know?

All that to say--Lock and I knew when we started writing TAMN, that it would be an unpalatable/unpleasant topic for a lot of people, and we made our peace with that. It was our first fic ever in this fandom, with a controversial topic (cheating) we wanted to expound on, in a genre (zombie AU) that not everyone likes, so we knew not everyone would find it to their tastes. And that's okay! People are allowed to be disinterested in what we've written, and to dislike it for its contents! (Not that anyone needs our permission in the first place LOL) That's simply a given with any work you put out into the world, difficult topics or not!

So please don't ever feel like you have to read or have to like something just because others do. Not just when it comes to TAMN, but in anything in life! It's better for all of us if we engage in things we enjoy, and ignore/pass over the things we don't without trying to either: 1) "fix" ourselves to make ourselves like it, or 2) "fix" the thing we don't like to suit our tastes better.

Not everything appeals to everyone and that's okay! :D 💜

Now to get into the specifics of TAMN and the things you've discussed--

Grian is a complex character in TAMN, and it does take quite a while to unravel him. That said, Grian didn't start changing after he got bitten. He started changing the moment Scar caught him cheating.

It can be hard to see plainly because the fic is primarily in Scar's POV for Arc 1 (and Scar is admittedly extremely uncharitable towards Grian in that part), but Grian is constantly trying to make things up to Scar. Keeping him safe from zombies, lifting the heavier objects so Scar doesn't have to push himself, going out into danger so Scar won't have to; it may not seem like much, but Grian does start making an effort to course-correct his behaviour the second he truly processes how badly he messed up.

Later on, Scar himself admits that he brushed aside everything Grian tried to do for him at the start of the fic because he was blinded by his hurt and anger. Scar is imperfect. He let his anger take over, so he lashed out at Grian multiple times (setting Ariana on fire; accusing Grian of coercing him even though it was untrue; etc.) when he shouldn't have, and when it was unfair to. He was petty and unkind several times when they were with KSQ and Grian felt insecure. Scar had his own growing to do, his own character arc, and while you could argue that Grian "deserved" the way Scar treated him, it's important to keep in mind that he was already trying to be better, and Scar (and thus, the reader) couldn't see it until the initial anger, betrayal and, yes, hatred, had passed.

Secondly, I wouldn't really say TAMN is a redemption story. TAMN is more-so about exploring how a damaged person can rob themself of any happiness when they get stuck in a spiral. It's about how Grian kept telling himself that he needed to change and Be Better, when Scar had always loved him for who he was, flaws and all. The only thing Grian really needed to do was apologise, something Scar pointed out to him several times. Trying to completely upend who he was, was a stipulation Grian put on himself, because he couldn't fathom why anyone would or could ever love him the way he was.

Finally, while we definitely intended the narrative to take on a neutral stance on whether Grian should be forgiven or not, I can see where it might seem like the narrative insists on Grian being forgiven. (Probably unconscious on our parts as authors, since we do love Grian sooo so much.) That said, Scar in-text does not forgive him by the end of the fic. He pretty explicitly says that, while he wants to forgive Grian, he's not quite there yet. He asks for time, because while he loves Grian and doesn't want to be without him, forgiveness isn't linear and he can't promise to Be Okay again all at once.

The progression of TAMN isn't "Grian cheats, becomes better through the clarity of death, and Scar forgives him," it's "Grian cheats, learns that his flaws and vulnerabilities don't have to define him, and he and Scar agree to work on their relationship together." TAMN ends with hope--that Grian and Scar have discovered that (for better or worse, depending on who you ask) they'd rather be together, and even if they're not 100% okay right now, maybe, with some teamwork and effort and elbow grease, they could be in the future. We like to think that makes it hopeful, without being too reductively "and they lived happily ever after." :")

As for whether the reader is meant to forgive Grian or not--that's entirely up to the reader. Everyone has different levels of what they can or cannot forgive, and just because one person might forgive someone, doesn't mean everyone can or even should. You can love or hate Grian for what he did, the narrative is just there to tell you that he made an effort. He broke down and let himself be vulnerable, and came out better for it, albeit a little worse for wear. While some might need to see him work at it more and really earn forgiveness, others would be fine with this, or even less. Stories are inherently up for subjective opinion and interpretation.

As far as TAMN is concerned, though, the place that Grian arrived at was enough for Scar, and that's why TAMN ends where it does. Their journey is not over, and it's something we want to continue writing about and exploring, but narratively we had to find an end-point for TAMN, otherwise we'd still be writing it to this day!

Anyhow, I could ramble about TAMN!Grian forever and this has already gotten long enough. I hope this explains some of our thoughts as the authors, but please understand that by no means is this us trying to coax you into coming around on our fic. By the sounds of it, it just might not be for you and that's totally cool! We have plenty of other fics you might like where the characterization is more Hermitcraft and less The-Darkest-Take-of-Life-Series-Imaginable LMAO, and we're so lucky that this fandom is full of incredible fanfics to read.

At the end of the day, TAMN is a fic Lock and I wrote self-indulgently for one another, and we completely get that a fic that we planned out with just OUR tastes in mind might be seriously out of the scope of being considered enjoyable for other people. We're always surprised and so grateful that it's gotten the reception it has, especially because we know what a difficult read it is.

Thank you for reading our fic even though it wasn't your thing, and thank you especially for sending such a polite, non-judgmental ask about it. :") 💜

[atomicpowered]

So I watched Hazbin. Let the record show that I am not a hater unjustly or unduly. I will put in the effort to fully experience the thing people are dumping on to see if it's legitimate. I went in with as blind a mein as possible given that I am Online and dialed in to various goings on in my swamp. My curiosity finally got the better of me.

I know some of the background of the show and the creator of said show, I have heard rumblings from the edges of my dashes and things passing megafauna-like underneath me. These cries of 'worst fandom ever!!' are pretty overwrought for what, by my eyes, is the pretty standard slew of agitated bees that follows this kind of thing.

Before I get into some thoughts about the show I do know that there was some talk about people not being properly compensated for their work on the newest, hottest, invader zim animated television programme. I have heard various things about what vivziepop (might be spelling this wrong I'm on a fight and bored so I can't check) has done, what fans of this show are capable of blah, blah— I get it. When you've been around the loop of this stuff as long as I have you know what many fandoms and sole operators are capable of. By my metric these examples are all pretty bad. Not the worst but not the best either. Definitely stand out from the other fan based background radiation on websites and in real life.

But I'm gonna talk about only what I've directly seen (the amazon joint and youtube pilot) for both brevity and my sanity.

I sell at conventions for a living, I've done so for years and have also been at that long enough to see swells and ebbs of trends that match up with their digital counterparts. Hazbin is… special. Not often do you see merchants throwing table balance to the winds to have MULTIPLE Hazbin (Helluva thrown in there too they're basically the same thing) monocultures for what they are hawking. I get the drive behind it too, no shade, make your bag, sex sells, but I can't overstate how rare this is! Even during the heyday of Genshin (lessening now) you still had different properties orbiting the cash cow on your display. Nobody just brought one thing and one thing only.

Now, on to what I have to say about the show. I'm sure some of these points have been echoed by a pngtuber with crossed arms but I feel compelled to throw my two bits in.

The show is all together, not good. Not horrific (barring some specific instances), but firmly overwhelmingly mediocre.I watched all of it, including the pilot, and besides occasional drama crossing my dash didn't interact with it much beyond that until now. Now that I have, I am very confident with my pre-watch assertions I made based on spitballing what I saw represented on and off line. I'm good at this kinda thing, you see certain patterns emerge from the data and you can make some accurate generalizations no problem. I frequently withheld a question when I would see groups of 14 year olds in pinstripe suits looking at my prints at weeaboo united or whatever convention I was at that particular weekend. Why are kids watching this show?

I know Why kids are watching the show, Hazbin is made (probably unwittingly) to appeal to kids! This is a neutral statement, I'm not saying it was to entrap kids or anything like that. The kids are a side effect drawn to what Hazbin Is. Not a target.

The appeal comes from a few main points. The characters are all designed like babies' first OCs, they drip little details and playground style power layouts. (My mermaid tail is blue and rainbow and I can shoot lighting and I have a pet sea turtle so obviously it is good or better than your flame covered tail and psychic abilities.) They are all based on a template that is easy to replicate and iterate on with enough play in secondary characteristics to make a bonafide example of some prime Do Not Steal. (Think Sonic, My Little Pony, Homestuck.) This playbook of style is sugar on a kitchen floor to ants.

The characters all say and do stuff with no deeper implication or subtlety, conflicts are raised and finished in minutes if not at least by the end of the episode. They have large gestures, big emotions, little depth, and huge expressions. They are stage acting, and the flat compositions in the storyboarding and directing reflect that. They are tell and almost never show. They walk on the screen and go I'M SAD or I'M MAD with no real subtle work. Yes there's sex, drugs, and alcohol, but, like. Conceptually you easily have characters acting like they're in saturday morning cartoons.

The overacting is great when you're sakuga brained like I am but it is so all the time and in your face that it just ends up feeling like those twitter videos of 60fps interpolated anime openings. (God I fucking hate those things.) Every character is moving and talking and wiggling around so much that it's like parents trying to catch the attention of a crying baby with hastily jingled keys. Even the swearing and the depictions of the more devious acts are so… juvenile. Everything feels like a combination of boys talking in hushed giggles at the back of the bus and what you scribbled in the back of your history notes among the drawings of the best realistic eye you could put out at the time. Like I highly doubt any of the audience knows what 'bolivian marching powder' is or does. And I don't think its main writer does either? Like one of the characters is in high profile porn, like at least make his vice a designer drug? It's like when kids speculate on what it would be like to be white girl wasted with barely trying a sip of Mom's vodka out of the cabinet.

So you got the combo of these character designs which mirror every tumblr sexyman since the bronze age and a very paint by numbers barbie house of characters. Of COURSE it bags kids like fortnight und cola. But like, why are people in charge just letting this rock? Is more my question. Who is letting Timmy get at a new glossary of stuff to yell at his substitute teacher? Don't answer, this is rhetorical. I'm all for letting kids self select but I kinda worry about this one and what it's doing to the teens. I'm sure someone more willing to explore that has said smarter stuff than me. But what I can see is you have the volatile type of person (kid or not) who is attracted to what I just listed grappling with badly handled (fumbled most of the time, let's be honest) adult stuff. This is the recipe in how you get a fandom that acts like this one acts.

My next thoughts concern Concepts and Themes. The ones here of heaven and hell are just kinda skated over as set dressing. In fact everything in the show is more like the plato's allegory of shit to stand on. It's basic on basic. Hell being an alright bunch and heaven being snooty know it alls has been done, demons that are niceys has been done, even interpersonal relationships set with a backdrop of a home for wayward characters has been done. Like again color by numbers isn't BAD! Just because these things have all been done doesn't mean you can't learn from and uplift your own idea with what came before. In fact, when you're having trouble making something a quote always comes to mind.

Wholesale ripping a chunk out of red letter media here: "Now I need to explain that I don’t think that all movies," ((Shows for my use case)) "-should be the same, or conform to the same kind of structure, but it works well in certain kinda movies. So unless you’re the Coen Brothers, David Lynch, Paul Thomas Anderson, Stanley Kubrick, Alfred Hitchcock, Lars Von Trier, David Cronenberg, Gus Van Sant, Quentin Tarantino, John Waters, Wes Anderson, Sam Peckinpah, Terry Gilliam, Martin Scorsese, Werner Herzog, or Jim Jarmusch, you really shouldn’t stray away too far from this kind of formula."

It's clear that this show has its roots in musicals. (Not just in the presence of musical interludes, the talky bits too.) Musicals often are color by numbers stories that expertly perform these fundamentals. They are a perfectly cooked egg. Simple, but a test. If you can't do the basics you cannot be expected to deliver on anything more complicated! It's also obvious that Hazbin's nest was lined with disney musicals specifically. I have my qualms about disney, especially the disney of today, but that's not for right now. Disney by and large knows how to color in said book to the point that it's a formula, and if you can't study this formula to excel at the formulaic you kinda deserve the crit.

You have rules and lore set by your world and you don't follow through with anything, your plots all revolve around introducing the coolest character yet or making your favorites even cooler but not like. Actually. Exemplifying what the hell is going on. I know people here are going to counter that they didn't have time it was only a handful of episodes with no knowledge if they were gonna get more, but so much of the show is donated to bad dialogue that goes nowhere, points and facts that the audience knows that are reiterated half a dozen times for no reason. They had TONS of time.

While I'm on the subject of dialogue, the dialogue is one of the things that is not mediocre but straight up bad. I already listed why above but to cite a specific example of something I haven't touched on, dear god you cannot lampshade your own bad writing by having the characters calling it bad. It is Marvel style spandex is stupid and comics are silly am I right guys 'jokes'. This 'joke' happens at least three different times in vitro and it made me audibly groan every time.

I am not a musical person nor am I musically trained but many of the songs are lyrically poor, abruptly plonked into the narrative, unfitting compositionally or, uh, poorly sung.The cast of VAs is insane, (looking at you David) and also often badly vocally directed. They are trying their best with the script but I'm more talking about how they are mixed. I found it hard to understand what was being said much of the time due to technical failures. Guys like Keith David can phone in a performance and Sell it to me better than some of the other actors putting their foot into it and that juxtaposition is also a form of whiplash that the show excels in. Vaggie is probably the worst offender for not being able to pick up the slack in this regard.

The characters being over and somehow under done lies also in their designs and the style that the show wants. I could talk for days about how much I dislike the sticks with a bunch of junk hanging off of them type of look. Nightmare to animate, no good character variation. I didn't even know what some characters were supposed to BE or represent. Alistor is a deer? Charlie is a faun of some sort? Where? Huh?

Too much red!!!! Too much!!!!! Red backgrounds, red characters, everything is a MESS, this is one of the things that actually gets me mad. There are no values! Everything fades into visual noise, which when you pair it with the animation constantly gesticulating at you and everything being bolted on with spirit halloween leftovers makes a leaf and stick tornado. (Nitpicky as well but pick a line weight and color and stick with it.) When blue or yellow came on screen I would audibly shout in excitement.

Multiple characters have tophats. Stop.

I'm not going to go into what I would do to fix the plot or design documents, I know it's been done to death.

God, where was I, I think I'll just finish this off with thoughts about the characters and then open the floor to comments or questions. I don't mean to make this a proper essay.

Charlie: I really dislike her, she's a weak character that has the IM TELLING HOW IM FEELING AND HOW YOU, THE VIEWER, IS SUPPOSED TO FEEL disease bad. Her design is one of the worst. I don't root for her much! Which is bad because she's the main character and I'm at least supposed to feel for her?

The snake guy: He had an arc. He's probably the most endearing.

Angel dust: the pathos they tried with his story beats is ruined by whipping back and forth between irreverent and WAY too heavy handed. People cried? What? Also the pig showing up for its two appearances to sell irl plushies was bad. His back and forth with other characters is hard to watch, and his capitulation to be better both feels forced and confusing. I don't think they know what to do with him. Why is porn bad in hell.

Husk: hi keith david. Bad design so fucking busy. They scaled him back from the pilot and I still flinch thinking about those tie downs. Why is alcoholism bad in hell.

Tv guy: better episode time than most of the other characters to the point where I suspect multiple writers to have been put in the time out chair

Nifty: Gir redux but with none of the heart

Vaggie: they were going for a wholesome lesbian relationship or toxic codependency and managed to do neither well. She has the weakest vocal performance, the name thing is bad, I thought she was supposed to be based off an owl or bird of prey but apparently not?

Mimzy: why are you even here

Lucifer: design so bad he falls into the background when he should stand out THE MOST. No episode, saying you're depressed and estranged from your daughter isn't an emotive beat you have to Show that by doing things.

There's so much I could say about carmella, the overlords, the other V's, adam, heaven in general, the over-designed incidentals, the exorcists, but I'm TIRED.

Alistor.

Man. This fucking guy.

His ethos is one of the worst in that hes just dripping in conflicting ideas from toe to head. He's based off voodoo? He's the 'coolest' one?!?!? He's word salad. Eldritch, forest, radio, dapper, fox like, the teeth, the staff, the vocal filter, he's a deer????! cannibal chaotic neutral shadow manipulator play pretty. He takes valuable screen time from everyone to blow keyframes and my time in being the 'coolest' most bad ass for real bro made in a lab to clinch a demographic annoyance.

Where do you go when you die in hell? If you died in heaven do you go back there? Nobody tried to crack getting into heaven before? Expediting a culling six months when you do it every year isn't as punitive as it comes off, where are the steaks? Why does charlie care so much about hell? Where are 'her people'? Why does charlie know that heaven wants to quell an uprising? Why don't angels know they can be hurt? Why does Vaggie not know? Why aren't people in hell doing like. Actual for real bad things most of time? You have a whole town of cannibals, something that's pretty rare, but barely anyone on any kind of watch list. Why is Lucifer estranged when he's clearly just awkward and it gets better almost immediately? Why does charlie not know anything about her country despite living there?

Auhhhhgh okay I'm done, I'm done. Like I'm frustrated okay!!!

[elumish]

If you are interested in examining, broadening, or diversifying the media that you read, write, and engage with, I think one of the most important things to recognize is that you can have legitimate feelings based in reality that are also bigoted or discriminatory.

I was talking to my parents this weekend about Republican voters, and one of the things that I was saying is that there are a lot of people whose political views reflect a social and economic insecurity based in a loss of jobs, lower purchasing power and a diminished ability to do things like buy a house or provide for a family compared to their parents' or grandparents' generation, a relative loss of political power compared to fifty or a hundred years ago, and a preference for people saying that they can bring us back to the world of a few generations ago where someone like that would have relatively more power in the world.

That relative loss of social, economic, and political power is real for some people (as a percentage of representation in state legislatures, Congress, and the White House, white people and especially white men do have objectively less say in government than 50 years ago). But it also can't be disentangled from racism and misogyny, where that loss of power is seen as an unbalancing of a previously equal (or at least preferable) scale rather than something inching closer to proportionate political representation and economic opportunities.

You see this with TERFs, too, in a different direction--it is a reality that women are more likely to be sexually assaulted by a man rather than another woman, and changes must be made to society to reduce rates of sexual assault. But it's also inextricably tied to bigotry and discrimination, both with the (incorrect) belief that trans women are actually men and with the belief that sex segregation is what will keep women safe (among other things).

What does this have to do with you?

A lot of the reasons I see people giving for not engaging with female characters or characters of color, or characters with other marginalized identities, are similarly based in some level of reality while still ultimately having racist or sexist or otherwise biased underpinnings to them.

It's true that there are social and political power disparities between men and women and that many M/F stories involve those, whether intentionally or not--but a refusal to engage with anything but M/M stories because you want to avoid those disparities indicates both an inability to picture a story where those disparities are not present/relevant and the viewpoint that M/M stories are inherently neutral (and so lacking those power issues) while F/F are inherently not neutral.

It's true that many female characters and characters of color are underdeveloped or not characterized well in canon, but the overwhelming fan engagement with underdeveloped white male characters indicates that white male characters are seen as neutral or blank canvases while female characters and/or characters of color are seen as just bad characters who it's not worth engaging with.

It's true that people often connect better with characters with similar traits to them, but a refusal to write or engage with most/all characters of color because of an inability to connect emotionally with them indicates a feeling that POC are inherently emotionally different from white people in a way that makes them impossible to relate to emotionally for white people.

My point here is not to shame anyone who holds these beliefs or says these things. We are all (including me) in the process of identifying and actively untangling and discarding our own internal biases (or at least we should be), and the first step to that is looking at your own actions and really trying to figure them out. This is hard and takes years or decades, because we are in a society where beliefs like these are pervasive.

So if you are interested in doing that, I recommend looking at reasons that you've given (if only just to yourself) for what characters and what types of stories you read/write/engage with and really sitting with them.

Identify what it is that's really the problem, and then try to find stories that do something different. Do you not like female-led romances because there might be a risk of pregnancy? Try some stories where there's no pregnancy. Are you uncomfortable reading one that describes certain body parts? Try a closed door story. Try a new genre. Try a different author. Try something you're not sure you'll like. Try something new.

You can do this with writing, too. Try writing a M/F story, or a F/F story, or a story with no romance at all. Try writing a story focused on a non-white character. Try fleshing out a female character who you think is underdeveloped in canon, if you write fanfiction. You might find that you enjoy it far more than you thought you would, once you let yourself write it the way you want.

[letterstothetardis]

What is Doctor Who Even Trying to Say Anymore?

Doctor Who has rarely been subtle about politics (“So the planet down below refused to stop the babies being born, but once they're born, they don't look after them?”- Ruby Sunday, Space Babies). But the underlying politics of season 2 of this new era of Doctor Who are about as confused as they’ve ever been. I think that Russell T Davies has good intentions, but the execution is often not well thought out. More often than not, the message that the show presents is not the message that was probably intended. In Lux, the Doctor makes multiple references to segregation and Jim Crow era laws. However, the rest of the (white) cast barely react to the Doctor and Belinda’s presence, and are friendly when they do, which serves to make the Doctor seem paranoid and overreactive. Given that he’s a black man in 1950’s Miami, his concerns are entirely justified, but the narrative doesn’t validate this at all. In Lucky Day, Conrad is presented as a right wing grifter and male manipulator whose entire raison d'être is to bring down UNIT. He is a violent denialist, killing his own allies and refusing to acknowledge that aliens exist, even when he meets them face to face. The trouble with all of this is that UNIT is a government funded military organisation. Framing Conrad’s beliefs as extremist and delusional implies that organisations like UNIT (i.e. the police, the military) are above reproach. Anyone who criticises these organisations, their use of public funds and their secretive operations, is aligned with murderous incels. The entire episode reads as copaganda. How dare you want to defund UNIT? Don’t you know that they’re trying to protect you?

And so we arrive at Interstellar Song Contest. Two Hellions – refugees from the destroyed planet Hellia – hijack the singing competition and try to murder the entire audience of three trillion people. Why? Well, the Corporation that funds the song contest invaded their planet, stole their resources, and then burned the planet to the ground when they were done. The Hellions are scattered and disenfranchised, with many people believing that they are witches and cannibals who destroyed their own planet and, as such, they suffer discrimination wherever they go. Nina Maxwell, who is running the song contest backstage, beseeches Wynn to stop, because she put her faith in her. “No one employees Hellions, but I did.” Wynn is unmoved, immediately proving that Nina should never have hired her by taking advantage of her position to orchestrate a devastating terrorist attack. When Nina calls Kid and Wynn monsters for murdering 100,000 people, Kid says “I’m only doing the things you expect of me.” The entire scene leaves a sour taste in my mouth, for reasons that I’m struggling to articulate. The story evidently wants the audience to sympathise with the Hellions while condemning their actions, but the narrative that Hellions are inherently dangerous isn’t particularly challenged. It sets up a dichotomy of good vs bad Hellions. Cora is a Hellion who has been mutilated to the point that she is passes as a non-Hellion. She is the “good” Hellion who has been divested of all of the parts of her that others would be threatened by: her horns, her language, her culture. Kid and Wynn are “bad” Hellions, unapologetic about their backgrounds, and are attempting to murder trillions. It is a classic case of taking a character with a legitimate grievance and making them do senseless acts of violence, in order to delegitimise their position.

The threat of this terror attack is supposed to be especially galling, because the three trillion people watching the Interstellar Song Contest are you. They represent the audience of Doctor Who far more so than the audience stand-ins in Lux did. This terrorist attack is a direct threat to you and your loved ones, for the crime of watching television. After all, why should you be held responsible for some faceless corporation doing terrible things many, many miles away from you? But the problem is, Kid and Wynn are right. This passive audience is complicit in the crimes of the Corporation. They watch the song contest and they buy the honey and they believe the propaganda being fed to them about the Hellions destroying their own world. They, like many people in the Western world, benefit passively from the subjugation and destruction of other cultures, whether they know it or not.

With the inclusion of the Interstellar Song Contest (a futuristic version of Eurovision) it’s hard not to make comparisons with Israel and Palestine. Obviously this is not a 1:1 allegory – the situation in Palestine is more complex than simple corporate greed – and there are probably other invasions that fit the bill more closely (the USA’s repeated salvoes into the Middle East for oil spring to mind). But the fact that in 2025, Israel is still allowed to perform at Eurovision, while Russia has been banned since its invasion of Ukraine in 2022, means that the conflict is salient to the conversation. Eurovision whitewashes Israel’s atrocities just as the ISC whitewashes the Corporation’s. The ending of this episode is supposed to be uplifting. Cora sings a beautiful song in her native language, spreading awareness of the Corporation’s violent destruction of her home. Or maybe not. This is, after all, a broadcast sponsored by the Corporation. So instead of that, this is an aria for the dead, mourning the loss of her people and her culture. The audience of the song contest, if they even know that Cora is a Hellion, have no reason to come away from this performance feeling anything other than “isn’t it sad that all those people died” and “gee, maybe not all Hellions are evil”. This is a proclamation against direct action. The message is clear. Sing a pretty song for the dead; don’t fight for justice for the living.

But ultimately, in spite of the messy, misguided politics of the rest of the episode, the biggest problem in this episode is the Doctor himself. He is uncharacteristically cruel and violent, which wouldn’t necessarily be a problem, but his lack of remorse is. He claims that Kid’s attempts to murder the three trillion people watching the ISC triggered him, because it made him think of his home planet. Why, then, does the destruction of Hellia not provoke a similar anger? He doesn’t acknowledge that he has been in Kid’s position, murdering the people he holds responsible, erroneously, for the destruction of his home planet. The Doctor tortures Kid, because he is Kid. The (almost) deaths of three trillion hit home for the Doctor and he loses himself in trying to punish his own dark reflection. After all, isn’t he also an orphan who uses a title rather than a name? A person who doesn’t remember ever having had parents? A lonely scion of a destroyed planet? With this justification, I could perhaps stomach the Doctor’s treatment of Kid, if the Doctor ever acknowledged what happened to Hellia in this episode. But he doesn’t. He lets himself succumb to anger and hurts Kid for attempting to kill three trillion people, but doesn’t spare a thought for the dead of Hellia. You’d think that a person who had witnessed his own planet destroyed (twice) would have some empathy for the Hellions who have lost their homes, their families, their culture, and are now being persecuted across the galaxy. But the Doctor doesn’t acknowledge their plight. Nor does he acknowledge the Corporation and the Interstellar Song Contest’s role in Hellia’s destruction. Kid and Wynn are sent off to the appropriately dystopian-sounding ‘Justice Monolith’, but there’s no mention of justice for the planet full of people who were exploited and murdered. The Corporation ends this episode the way it started: unchallenged, with Hellions as its scapegoats.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I admire your patience with those readers who need you to spoon feed them the story. Everything is in the comics but they still manage to go pass it. I can't help but feel a bit sad for them? Do they not understand what they read? Are they not attentive when reading it? I'm legitimately concerned because I function so differently I can't fathom this. If you like a story, isn't it normal to make your best to grasp it's essence and reflect on it? I know I project a lot about this, everyone works and registers things differentely of course but sometimes it's very frustrating to see people consume any media and just completely miss all the important messages in it, or even just fail to get the scenario sometimes, and it feels like it's very common now... Idk I just wanted maybe to have your perspective on this? Sorry for the long post (Been here for a few years now and your a true inspiration to me. All my luv to you! ❤️)

You know, I'm gonna be honest. I used to stress out about this... a LOT.

As a story-brained person, this is definitely something that comes naturally to me, and perhaps to you, and to many other people who are wired similarly. To us, following the path of a story in an analytic, highly detail-motivated manner and unwrapping the themes can be as exciting as lifting up a rock to see the bugs underneath. It's an exciting mental activity that's stimulating and feels effortless.

And yes, as an author who spends literally 60% of my day thinking about this comic and how to draw it, panel it, script it, make it better (I script and panel in my head constantly)........ I have trouble realizing/dealing with the fact that some people are just here to CASUALLY enjoy the story that I am lowkey obsessed with.

But I've come to realize that... that's NORMAL! And healthy.

People have different attention spans for different things.

People have varied ways to read a story and engage with it.

People have unique interests.

People don't have the same amounts of energy to devote to reading!

Maybe someone missed a detail I lovingly and painstakingly put into the dialogue because they're reading the update late at night after a long shift at work. And maybe someone scrolled past the dialogue completely and just got the gist from looking at the art, because they're in a hurry to get to practice at their favorite sportsball.

And maybe someone just had a really bad day with a really bad encounter, and they're reading the update in a terrible mood and instead of seeing MY grey-morality narrative, they're focusing on all the negative points and misread the vibes because of their own biases that stem from places of hurt.

The thing is, I have to be okay with that as an author, because I will NEVER be able to get into my audience's heads and read this comic 'correctly' for my own sake.

They will always have a slightly different interpretation of things, and they will always misunderstand details and miss clues. And sometimes, they will be wrong about the way they read a character's motivations... and sometimes maybe they won't be! That's just a part of communication. That's a part of telling a story.

An imperfect delivery, and an imperfect reception should, in my opinion, be a natural and accepted part of storytelling. We're human, and we all have a different lived experience, and we will ALL have different takes on a comic, even if it's so close that we THINK we are both getting the exact same thing. That small human interpretation variation is a home-made touch that makes it feel more organic.

In short.... Not all light particles make it here from the sun, but damn the result is stunning anyway.

[klerothesnowman]

The Idea That Mandalorian Culture Is Even Slightly Positive Is Legitimately Disgusting To Me

Full mask off with this one. I think you people are misguided at best, imperialism apologists at middling, and full blown fascists at worst.

Get clickbaited baby. Okay, I was being extra harsh. Kind of.

Not really.

Like I said with the Sith ramble, it's totally okay to think Mandalorians are cool and roleplay Mandalorians and all of that, but just like with the Sith you NEED to recognize what these people are. People are internalizing some intensely fucked up beliefs with Mandalorians, and covering up the things they don't like with headcanons that align with their beliefs.

But guys, there is a REASON nearly every major appearance of Mandalorians cast them as villains, this includes Clone Wars and Rebels. There is REASON the Mandalorian character option in SWTOR is aligned with the Sith Empire. There is a REASON so many Mandalorian roleplayers turn out to be weirdo alt-right cryptofascists.

And the thing that blows my mind is that it's not even a fandom issue. Star Wars writers have had characters proudly stand tall and say "My culture was taken from me by the Mandalorians and that's a good thing", and then had other characters go "Wow, that's really made me think. Maybe your culture of genocide committing crusaders aren't that bad..." It's insane.

So what is a Mandalorian? Like, what is a Mandalorian really?

Out of universe, a Mandalorian is a Boba Fett. Someone in a cool iconic outfit to automatically signal to the view "This guy is tough". Knowing that Boba Fett's design had a certain je ne sais quoi they brought his design back for Jango Fett, and then mixed it with the design of Stormtroopers to make Clone Trooper Armour.

But this opened the door to a horrible, horrible mistake. The same mistake Star Wars makes time and time again. By implying that the armour was more than just a dude's outfit they gave a writer room to invent a culture based off one or two characters. And so just like Rodians and Gand, the entirety of Mandalorian culture was formed around the fact that Boba and Jango were bounty hunters with wrist weapons and jetpacks.

Their culture was developed by one Karen Traviss, someone who's a little "Controversial" in circles, she made a warrior culture based on the Celts and other general Warrior Culture vibes. And boy howdy did they go hard on it, Mandalorian lore expanded, they got a religion, a history of genocide, cool robots, tons of armour and weapons, mythologized as the greatest warriors in the galaxy. Jedi cut through metal? Well not MANDALORIAN metal, their metal is the BEST metal. They even get an entire language, and a tradition of adopting people into their culture.

I haven't read too much of these books, what I have read strikes me as a little... I don't want to say edgy, but it's got that "US Army propaganda permeates our entire understand of war" vibes. Military men are valorized and women are kind of treated like shit, and while researching these books a little I kept finding people point even more awful shit in them. They're pretty nasty. But one of the consistent things I've noticed from them is a kind of... I want to say, acknowledgement that this stuff is bad.

The main Mandalorian guy is a violent, drunken asshole who emotionally abuses "his boys", the things soldiers do are horrific and are treated as such. Mandalorians aren't exactly given a squeaky clean image here. It's presented as an ugly, violent culture with a lot of misogynistic undertones.

I've got issues with the presentation, but I don't have beef with them. I have beef with what came after.

The fandom perception of Mandalorians is "Distressing". The fandom perception of Mandalorians is that they're this perfectly accepting and welcoming culture of kind hearted warriors who will be so gentle and kind within their clan but absolutely destroy anyone who dares hurt their dear friends. They're this huge mishmash of different cultures all mixing together in a delicious soup, the Echani Mandalorian teaches everyone their cool martial arts tricks while the Devaronian Mandalorian cooks everyone a nice spice traditional Devaronian meal while the Rodian Mandalorian regales everyone with some opera how nice and wonderful true found family there.

They're also not at all sexist, there is no difference between men and women, Mandoa doesn't even have gender in it but also Mandalorian women are super respected as brutal warriors equally as much as the men.

I hope I'm getting across that this is absolutely fucking bullshit. Let's start with the language thing because it's kind of indicative of the entire problem with gender here.

Mandoa absolutely is not "Gender Neutral", it seems like it is, Karen Traviss even said it is, an attempt was made to make it Gender Neutral. But here's the thing, what do the abusive dad character in those books call the Troopers? "His Boys". What do they all call each other? "Brothers", what is the translation of Vode An, that song Mandalorians love so much? "Brothers All".

Mandoa is extremely gendered, it wasn't made to be gender neutral, it was made to be masculine and then they applied it to women too. It's about Brothers and Brotherhood and real Manly Men stuff. It is positively dripping with toxic masculinity.

And again, this is basically how all of the women Mandalorians are treated. One of the mentioned things in lore is that Mandalorian women are "even fiercer fighters than the men", and that you should never flirt with a Mandalorian woman unless "you intend to marry her". You never see any of this though, in fact you more often seen the female Mandalorians taking care of kids and working in the kitchen. Even if you did see it, it's not exactly female empowerment here, it's just more hyper machismo bullshit "The only kind of woman that could satisfy a strong mandalorian warrior is another strong mandalorian warrior" you know what I mean?

But let's get to the real juicy thing. The imperialism.

So like, these guys are Crusaders. You know, those things that have never been problematic ever.

These guys are nomadic warriors, attacking and conquering planets, and taking spoils into themselves. You see that big machine the central guy is riding? That's a Basilisk War Droid, or "Bes'uliik". They're pretty iconic for Mandalorians, they're mini Metal Gears that have animal-like personalities and guns for faces, they're pretty cool.

Mandalorians didn't make them. They took them from the race they wiped out and appropriated it into their culture. They do that a lot, there's a big list of races that the Mandalorians genocided. You can read it on Wookiepedia it's all aright there.

This is the truth of Warrior Cultures. This is what they do. This is what the cultures that the Mandalorians were based on do. They conquer people and then "assimilate" them into their culture. They don't respect people's old cultures, they erase them.

The kotor comics tried to put a positive spin on this and it's fucking insane

The Mandalorians are not a multicultural or diverse people. They have more in common with the "Schools" white people kidnapped the indigenous kids to in Australia and Canada.

Even the Foundling thing is rooted in that kind of stuff. Mandalorians find a lost child on the battleground (I wonder why there's a lost child on the same battleground as a Mandalorian hrm, thinking emoji) and then take it and force their culture on them. It's kind of fucked up innit?

And their culture too. Let's unpack it a bit. Specifically the Resol'nare, this thing is considered the core pillar of the Mandalorian culture. If you do not follow these things you are literally soulless and you are not going to heaven.

This stuff is kind of not great. It's kind of fascist. Or maybe religious fundamentalism. But crucially, that subtle kind of where it seems reasonable until you start analyzing what it actually means and what it does.

Because remember, if you do not do these things you are not a Mandalorian. More than that, you are Dar'manda, which again means you are literally soulless and you are not going to heaven.

If you don't dress the way they want, not going to heaven.

If you don't speak the way they want, not going to heaven.

If you don't put your family first, not going to heaven.

If you don't do what the absolute ruler says, not going to heaven.

And if you let your kids make their own choices you're also not going to heaven.

Except it's actually more than that, it's also if you don't follow the Resol'nare you don't have a soul, you're already less than a person.

The Resol'nare is othering and dehumanizing, it's defining who isn't within your mandated circle of people to care about, and then telling you that the people outside of that are less than you. Something that is real handy when you need to kill people outside of your circle.

The language gets in on that too. The word for non-Mandalorians is Aruetti. That's incidentally the same word they use for Traitor. Not being a Mandalorian is synonymous with being a scumbag.

A lot of this stuff is retconned and removed for Disney Era Star Wars. I have problems with that too but it's more of a "missed opportunity" thing so I'll save it for another post. But the core of the Mandalorian Culture is deeply rooted in some rancid stuff, and it's being sanitized and refluffed as progressive by people who really want their violent warrior culture to be morally okay.

Despite my very inflammatory title, I don't think it's a bad thing to think Mandalorians are cool. But just like with thinking Sith are cool, it's really important you recognise that these fictional cultures are rooted in some really problematic shit. This is one of the pipelines people use to convince people of their shitty rhetoric for years, headcanons and bullshit like "when you think about it the Empire is good because they brought stability". It's just more obvious with the Empire because they're straight up Nazis.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Alrighty. I hate saying this, but. I'm probably going to delete the ship discourse asks in my inbox. Too many in there now and my mind is too clear to want to answer them

I think we've all been harsh with each other recently. Shouldn't have had to sleep on that, shouldn't have taken me longer than a few minutes to realize that, but idk. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning and... remembered how old I am and that I have better things to care about lol. But seriously, this recent update has really gotten to people's heads, mine included unfortunately, so I think we all need to take a step back and reevaluate ourselves

To try to explain (not excuse) myself personally. I, my friends and acquaintances, and our little fan community have gotten so much harassment for so long that now that the story is sort of tipping in our favor, I felt... vindicated. TOO vindicated this time around lol. For years and years now we have all been viciously mocked, shunned, called misogynists, called abuse apologists, we've been told to kill ourselves, we've been told bad things should happen to our loved ones. I couldn't help but feel smug when episodes 7 and 8 dropped, and then episodes 9 and 10 pushed me into being legitimately petty and mean. Like, all of this harassment was already pointless, now it's even more pointless because BxA is canon. Sore winner, "they hated Jesus because he told the truth" type shit lol

But... That's dumb. All of this is dumb. They're just video game characters. I'm an adult with adult responsibilities lol. None of this is worth getting bent out of shape about, on any side. Nothing wrong with respectful conversation and debate, but it hasn't really been that this time around. It's been gloating. Teabagging. And that's not cool. So I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone with anything I've said. I'm happy about Eternalberry but I've gotten TOO happy haha. I've regained mental clarity and thus the realization that I've started becoming part of the problem. I'm genuinely sorry for that. I want to go back to regular dork levels. Being spiteful and petty sucks, even if it's "justified"

Since I feel bad for leaving those asks awaiting deletion, A) mea culpa mea maxima culpa to those who sent them, nothing against any of you I just want to put the discourse to rest, and B) they all more or less say the same things so I'll just go ahead and bullet point my responses:

TikTok is perhaps the worst social media app ever created, it is an actual blight on society to almost biblical proportions, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Tiktok Delenda Est

Twitter is definitely the worst social media app ever created, it is a blight on society that John meant to record in the Book of Revelation but didn't know how to describe it properly because the internet didn't exist 2000-ish years ago, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Twitter Delenda Est, let's all point and laugh at the Trump-Musk divorce instead

Hero/villain ships are as old as human civilization and fandom nerds today have gotten really uptight about them, it's dumb and honestly really bizarre considering how prevalent it is in almost every piece of media, if someone doesn't like the trope that's perfectly fine it's not for everyone it does get pretty dark but a lot of people seem to put on gestapo uniforms when they're brought up now and it's a waste of time and energy. No one is holding a gun to your heads you guys, you don't need to do it to anyone yourselves

It's nice that I've apparently managed to convince some people to be more open-minded about BxA and hero/villain shipping as a whole, welcome to the club glad to have you, I'm sorry you've had to see some of us do our "obnoxious clown" routine recently, don't worry I'm washing my makeup off rn

I'm disappointed but unsurprised that BxA fans have been getting death threats in places, unfortunately that's how it's always been and it will continue to be that way even if all 5 pairs marry and have sex onscreen. No amount of canonizing in the narrative will change some people's minds. No amount of reasoning or olive branches will make them realize how ridiculous they are. Just have to accept it and ignore them

Cookie Run Kingdom is Baby's First Fandom for a lot of people, and a lot of them are actual, literal children, so all the black and white thinking and lack of understanding and respect makes sense, sadly. This is why I put my age in my blog description haha

Rule of thumb for me personally is to just block people who post hate in ship tags tbh. Spare us both the trouble. I've only responded to one post ever, and it was because the person was asking an honest question in a reasonable way so I thought it was fine to engage. I'd rather not engage people who want to attack and not actually talk. Blocking does us both a favor, I don't have to see meaningless hate on my dash and in tags I follow and they don't have to see content about ships they don't like from me. Win-win

Now, with all that said, I want to say some things I've said before, but would like to reiterate loudly and clearly one more time:

You do not have to like Beast x Ancient. It's perfectly fine and reasonable if you don't. It's not for everyone. Whatever your reasons are, I believe and accept them. I post about them a lot because I love them a lot, and I like talking about things I like. I do my best to tag properly so my weirdo babble is easier to filter out. My posts are more or less just preaching to the choir, I think lol. It's fine if you don't like that, it's fine if you don't like BurningCheese or Eternalberry, it's fine if you don't like Beast x Ancient. I am not your mortal enemy if you don't like them. I'm happy to talk to and be friends with people who don't. I already do so often haha

Furthermore, I want you all to know that no matter what I say about ships I don't like, I don't care if you do like them. I am not out to get you for liking things I don't. Which dolls you decide you like to make kiss is not my problem. I am not your mother, I am not your dictator, I am not God. My opinions are just that, no one is obligated to listen to me or take anything I say to heart. Yes, there are ships I legitimately hate with a passion, but I do not hate the people who like them. Not at all. That's a stupid thing to dislike someone for. I talk to and am friends with lots of people who like things I don't, both on here and irl. The world gets really lonely really fast if you refuse to engage with people who don't march lockstep with you. Especially with regards to fucking Cookie Run lol

Let's all give this nonsense a rest now. This is dumb. I'm dumb. We're all dumb. Let's stop being dumb. I'm happy to coexist peacefully with others. We'll all live happier lives focusing more on things we love than things we hate

[knavestrolls]

Do you remember your favorite fan troll you’ve ever seen that wasn’t one of yours?

Okay so this is such a loaded question but not in a BAD way. I hope y'all are ready for some dropped names. I'm not going to ping anyone, I don't want to step on toes! LONG ASS POST. I AM NOT KIDDING.

Sid Cada @/lordtonic - I may be yellow colorblind but god damn I love sid. Enough that it makes me angry I know I can't see that damn suit right sometimes. I picked Sid as my favorite one day and my brain stuck to it so hard that while I do legitimately love every other troll there, Sid makes me light up like I've just see a lizard [which with Sid, sometimes those things both happen]

Thread @/sasster My favorite chase troll changes a LOT. Chase has INSANELY GOOD TROLLS AND FUN CHARACTERIZATION. Stryx was actually my first favorite troll of Chase's and how I found the sasster blog BUT. Thread is SO good. She's so fun and oh my god. Snakes,,, [WOMAN. also her one romance with the uhhh commander I think? The white suit with both arms on one side in her sprites.. sleepless brain is killing me rn- but oh my god it's SO fun to see them flirt.]

Mallum @/roetrolls Okay so. I know everyone would think I'd put Remora and they're NOT WRONG I STILL ADORE REMORA. But through the storylines I just fell HARD for Mallum. The redemption? The struggle? I literally can't hear "Main Character" by Wil Wood without imagining a whole animatic of Mallum to it! The only thing that stops me (besides time) from making it is I know I do NOT know enough to make it any form of accurate. [after coming back to proofread: also the fact that Roe is an amazing animator and my brain struggles with the 'well x could just do it'. Not the point brain!]

ALLMAH @/ase-trollplays Listen. Here on the knavestrolls we are villain enjoyers. And we are WOMEN enjoyers. And WE SUPPORT WOMEN'S WRONGS. WE WANT THEM TO DO MORE IN FACT. Allmah my beloved. Free her. She did all of it I just think she should be free to do more. [doubling down. Let Allmah commit new warcrimes. Let her invent them]

Veketi @/windy-trickster Mi mijo has so many good trolls that it's always hard to pick. But Veketi gets a soft spot for me because we made Veketi and Liegia together. Because I made Veketi's sprites and I want to remake them because I think they look god awful now but they still get USED when he's around. They still read like they're fun! Becase Star has an amazing way of making the sprites WORK with what the character is saying too. <33

Melanc @/ask-melanc-vivura I.. don't actually have a long explanation for this one. This is another BPD brain pick that's really silly. I drew her with her boobs mostly out and have just loved her ever since. I am weak to women I can pin up. [PIN UP ART. PIN UP ART.]

Galeia- @/videcoeur This is another one I don't have a good long explanation for just.. pretty fish. I'm love pretty robit fish. Plus, science and REALLY FUCKED UP science,, my beloved [Fun fact i am weak to every single Videcoeur character, OC or otherwise. And the moment she arts? I'm dead. One day I'll be able to afford sprites]

Arceel- @/memurfevur I'm pretty sure I spelt his name wrong and I do not care, he can fist fight me. Not the author, the troll. Papa Arceel! One of my favorite troll to interact with because I can go to that troll with some of the stupidest questions and get a legitimate answer. Sometimes, one I didn't even know I needed [Also I am SO sad upon realizing I don't have the stupid meme image of his head over Beast now.]

Rynthu- @/lashysdomain Again, pretty sure I spelt it wrong but she'll forgive me I think (the troll). Just all around a fun character. Has so many fun plots in so many fun ways/worlds! Her romance with Watch'r is adorable as hell, but I'm not obsessed with the Watch'r side, it's her side I follow. As if it's one of the many romance webtoon I cling to and she's the FL.

PELEXI- @/mageofspacemultiverse DRAGON. WOMAN. WE SUPPORT DRAGON WOMEN'S WRONGS. Especially when they're funny. Plus like listen. Listen. Have they actually dated? No. Have they even gotten past a SINGLE conversation? NO. But that's Esstoc's wife and I don't take excuses

Charon - @/asks-n-trolls If I could romance 1 old troll............also honestly I love a LOT of Dan's trolls. Each one has such a fun personality, cute quirks- and FLAWS!!! I LOVE FLAWS!!

Alacar- @/alacarhelsng I can type freely here, because I *know* that he will never read this so. Alacar is genuinely one of my favorite characters my husband has ever made. He's so genuinely fun to play off of as a character, to build around! His design is SO freaky and silly and fun! I forget his damn scar EVERY TIME! He's getting surprise gift sprites done and I had to go back and rewrite the notes to please include the scar and add more references because I had forgotten AGAIN. He's SO ODY coded but he's also so Achilles coded. He didn't want to fight in this damn war. He wanted to spend his days with his Patroclus (AND HIS PENELOPE). He wanted to laugh and joy! And now look what this journey has turned him into! What losing those people has turned him into! Ugh I could go on forever- and I will, if ever given the chance, because I know that my husband isn't around on here as often and isn't very known but god DAMN I need y'all to appreciate the fun builds he makes. (also Qimzal is my second favorite and depending on what song wins you might get some insight on why)

Chrona- @/8bit-mau5 Okay. So. This one is REALLY hard to narrow to one because I also adore Malice and Opal. Crow's getting it for the STUPIDEST of reasons though. I'm weak to pinstripe. All three characters are a genuine joy to have on my dash any time they appear I am over the moon! I want all three of them worse and better all at once!! Also I would not trust Crow to actually help me in a court of law. Should I? Maybe.

Nereus- @/nethertrolls The design? KILLER. The stories? Absolutely enthralled me. Also, Nereus just reminds me of the Outsider from Dishonored sometimes and I ADORE The Outsider. To the point where I do actually plan on getting his mark tattooed eventually! So just.. Genuine attachment regardless of any story changes I'm dedicated to Nereus

@/goddesstrolls For religious reasons, I can't post her name. Starts with an H. She's Bast's very buff beautiful rust woman. A huntress. A legend. An icon. I ADORE her. It KILLS ME that I can't interact with her because I can't say her name!! Plus I just get nervous because,, womyn,,

 Ailaxi- @/tempi-fantrolls Okay, so this is going to be very shameful of me and we're all just going to ignore it for a moment okay? I struggle to keep up with the dash, even when I had the free time and the mental health but the #1 troll I always managed to catch on my dash was Ailaxi from them. And oh my GOD I ADORE lil grouches! Especially SOFTIE GROUCHES. It has been a while since I've been able to keep up at any level so this is VERY much just vague memory but I see that gray man and I'm like yes. my boy he has returned.

Daiona- @/norts-trolls Nort is another person I struggle to pick favorites with but right now it is STRONGLY Daiona. This I don't have words for in the same way I don't have words for the profound loneliness that sneaks up on me that I can only explain via sending my husband pictures of abandoned, overgrown, half destroyed houses that look like no one's even urban explored them in at least a decade. Daiona fills that same feeling to me, I hope someone makes sense of that.

Voghel- @/happyhappyfantrolls I have said it once, I will say it again, we are VILLAIN LOVERS here at Knavestroll! Voghel was one I locked onto early and have not let go! I try to go keep up with events and comics on this blog when possible because so many characters have fun interactions, deep relationships, and there's familial bonds that get to me...but also I want to see Voghel.

Babble- @/wandering-trolls I NEVER leave behind an EDM girlie. Just look at her. Look at her and tell me you can't love her I'll fist fight you

Mikael - @/mik-mania I just think Mikael is neat. That's it. thats the whole thought

Rhulan- @/morgombie It was love at first sight. If I remember right, I think I even got to draw her once! Not 100% on that thought, please remember I do have memory problems. but anyways! THE DESIGN FUCKS SEVERELY. SO GOD DAMN STRONGLY.

Malara- @/ask-swagger-dagger-trolls I was blessed with getting to know the story behind Malara's design and it stuck with me. Some days I think about doing something similar but honestly, Malara fills that need for me. She's like a silent presence with me sometimes. Filling in where that friend would have. Now, Tam has some amazing other trolls I love for lots of insanely silly reasons but..Malara stuck with me the most, for that reason.

Wicata- @/goldenguillotines So. I have to be honest, GG has a lot of trolls and I love so many of them that with my memory issues some of them bleed together. I did have to go look up her name, but this is a design that sticks with me. When I think of GG, this is the design that comes to mind because to me. I would see her on my dash endlessly and every time I saw her I'd stop scrolling because I had discovered another neat little detail in her sprites, in the art of her, in her design! GG has so many amazing designs and characters so please don't take this as a 'this is all there is' it's just what stuck with my broken brain.

HeeHoo - @/trollbreak JONAH. One of the platonic loves of my life is literally all of Jonah's clowns, and I am the EXTREMELY proud owner of a clown designed by Jonah! (As well as a mimic dragon amongst other designs) But I can firmly say my Jonah-clown obsession started with Heehoo. He's just a little guy! He would never do a murder, it'd dirty his pom poms! Just a lil guy who does a lil dance and stands in your hands and when he leaves and you look down there's rainbow footprints on your palm! Just OUGH Peak Clown for me. Peak clown design for me too. The mustache fucking kills me

Now, this is not NEARLY all of them. I could go on for ages but I've been told by three separate people to go try sleep again because I've hit the 27 hour mark but. Here is a small handfull of favorite trolls and thoughts about them!

[to-be-a-dreamer]

you sound like a right winger. cancel culture?

This is legitimately the funniest insult I’ve ever received thank you Anon. Like, you can’t think of any better way to discredit my post about how I wish people would just let a character be Not Racist and acknowledge that sometimes people can learn they were wrong and become better people so you call me (a queer woman of color who is college-educated and an immigrant, btw, just so we’re all on the same page) a “right winger” for using easily-recognizable terminology to ensure everyone reading understands what I think is the core issue. Incredible, insane, I wish you weren’t a coward who posted anonymously so I could scroll through your blog because I’m sure you’ve got jokes.

But anyways, since we’re all here I’ll take the opportunity to explain what I mean and my thoughts on cancel culture.

Original post that Anon is talking about for reference

People on the internet are obsessed with this idea of perfection. They think that a person has to do the right thing, always, every time. They think that a person who does or has ever done something shitty is just a shitty person who doesn’t deserve a platform. And they think that a person who was a shitty person in the past should always be viewed in that way. They can never accept that someone could have toxic or harmful views, realize they were wrong, and then become a better person, especially if they went through that journey offline or a long time ago. They don’t care if the person they see before them is clearly an open-minded, good person who doesn’t possess those views anymore. In their eyes, that person is still that same bigoted asshole from three, five, ten, twenty years ago and they have to acknowledge that past and be publicly shamed for it every single day in order to be “forgiven”. (They will never truly forgive)

And it’s just. I don’t understand it because what is the point of activism and education if we’re not going to allow people to learn what we’re trying to teach? How is our movement supposed to grow if we don’t accept the people who have been touched and reformed by it? How does any of this get better if we don’t allow people to be better?

Here’s my biggest problem with “cancel culture” (the mass ostracism and shaming of someone who has behaved or spoken in a socially unacceptable way). I think that this kind of mindset has led to an entire generation of internet users who are terrified of ever doing “the wrong thing” on the internet. We’re so afraid of making mistakes because we know how hard it is to come back from that and how unforgivable the rest of the internet is. And it’s turned us into overly defensive people who struggle to admit when we’ve done something wrong. We’re terrified to consider the possibility that we’re the "bad guy" in any situation because we've convinced ourselves that doing something shitty makes you a shitty person. We think our individual actions are lifetime sentences. I've seen so many people on the internet make small mistakes but double down and take things way too far when they're called out for it because they don't want to see themselves as a person who does problematic things. Because we've convinced ourselves that making a mistake makes you a bad person on a fundamental level. We've tied the amount of criticism we receive to our self-worth.

I also notice that it prevents people who actually need to learn and be better from realizing that. Because the amount of hate someone receives is so disproportionate to any mistake they actually made, it's so easy for a person to think "okay there's no way I deserve to be harassed this much, this is probably just the internet overreacting again, I haven't done anything wrong" and instead of learning the small lesson they needed to learn they just brush off the hate and dismiss it as cancel culture.

And so to bring this back to 9-1-1, I do think that some of the hate towards Tommy is due to shipping wars, but on a deeper level I think people just can't handle the truth that Tommy is actually a good person now. Maybe it stems from people hating the idea that someone who made their own lives miserable could learn and grow and become a better person later in life like Tommy did. Maybe people have some unresolved trauma about bigots that they're projecting onto these characters. Maybe they want to feel morally superior and just don't like the idea that someone who was shitty in the past could go on to have the same views and ideals as them. It's hard to tell for sure and it probably varies from person to person but I think the idea that a person has to be defined by their past is a big part of it on all levels.

Anyways, those are my thoughts on cancel culture as a whole and why I think the current generation of internet users has a really tough time taking accountability and why we all have rejection sensitivity (not RSD, the actual real medical condition, just a general sensitivity to being told you're in the wrong). We don't like to confront our own flaws because, according to the internet, those flaws make you a terrible person always and forever and you will never be able to overcome them or move past them. I hope this all makes sense I've been thinking about this a lot since 2020 but I've never tried to explain it in words. I don't think there's anything wrong with holding people accountable for past actions, I think there's something wrong with the disproportionate hate those people receive and the amount of shaming and shunning they have to go through before they're allowed to move on with their lives.

[jyndor2]

The way Cassian's character was butchered was even worse than the baby imo. He's just a liar in Rogue One now and they evenr managed to sideline Jyn in her own lovie by trying to make her less important 🤡 And also Jyn should have beaten his ass after Eadu

yeah the baby was bad but like the least of my issues with what they did to my boy

i think a lot of people are going to go back and watch rogue one, and when they do many of them are going to have to reconcile what the film says and shows us about cassian and what the show, which is supposed to be a prequel, shows and tells us about him.

as someone who was ride or die for the idea of a cassian show since day one of its announcement, i guess one thing that i didn't imagine years ago was that the show would fumble the one thing that it COULD NOT fumble - cassian's main motivation in rogue one.

I can still handwave some of it away. but cassian has not lost everything, even forgetting the hidden baby that he doesn't know about because his ex LEFT HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AFTER HE WITNESSED A GENOCIDE, he still has wilmon??? like N O

and everything about cassian being so wishy washy re: the rebellion is just Not It. it's antithetical to who he is in the film. it makes the eadu scene a lot less impactful if just a week before he's disobeying orders when he knows they are wrong.

this season was a lot of sitting around with very little payoff, which is very different from s1 where the payoff made the retcons and the story choices that i disagreed with WORTH IT.

the best parts of the season were phenomenal - but mostly not about cassian at all. and that just confirms my suspicion that tony gilroy had a story he was compelled to tell, and an audience he believed he could move with that story, which is all very laudable - but in the process I think he lost sight of some very real contradictions between the story he was telling and the story that has already been told (by more people than just him) in rogue one.

people can and will justify these choices all they want, and thats fine - i have bigger concerns that require my energy and attention, like the extermination campaign in palestine, like the real life spiral into fascism in the us and abroad. Im not gonna argue about a tv show at this point. but to me and to many long time rogue one fans this is not just about us building up a fanon and not seeing it come true, it is about the show legitimately not even staying true to the very core motivation of cassian in the film - which is that he has sacrificed parts of himself for so long to see that future sunrise luthen was speaking of in s1.

and like id love to have seen that lol

as far as baby goes, lol coparenting really is a thing

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

it's just insane that after all these years after everything they have been through (military) legitimately nothing has changed lmao and at this point I just simply do not care enough. it seems like it is too much to ask of jimin to stop giving that man specifically so much attention and to ask that man for an ounce of reciprocation but alas it's clear things will always be this way and im now just sitting back and observing 🤷‍♀️

like not even them being together for almost two years woke either one of them up like it just is what it is lmao

I feel for jimin I really do but he clearly doesn't care and sees nothing wrong with him/their relationship so we move 🥴

I know this sounds harsh but 🤷‍♀️

The thing is, you can't actually ask or even wish you could ask Jimin to stop giving him so much attention or stop engaging with members because that's not our place as fans.

In my particular case, I know this is a very personal opinion in pjm spaces, I don't think any of the members are bad people. So I don't necessarily believe that they're bad company for Jimin or that they treat him like shit. I always have in mind that we're women, most of us. Our standards in friendships and how we want to be treated by our friends are simply different than men's. My brother always tells me him and his friends don't even remember each other's birthdays. That's actually really common between male friends.

I don't "feel" for Jimin, I don't think he's having a hard time and I've also seen and heard him when he's talked about learning to react less emotionally to people (which many ignore but that definitely extends to Jungkook as well). And he's a man just like everyone else, so even if he doesn't always act like the rest and seems to have a better understanding and handling of his emotions and relationships, he knows other men and knows what they're like. So I think he's cool with it. But him being friends with Jungkook or other members still won't stop me from having an opinion.

My problem's always been that, while not being evil people, the BTS members are not all they're cracked up to be. And this over idealization and propping up of their characters is so heavily carried by shippers because they (choose to) have such short-term memories and only care/talk/remember/bring up the "good" stuff, while pushing the "bad" to the back. Sure, they're enlisted together but Jungkook still has those attitudes and he will still have them when they're back. And they want us to ignore all of it the way they ignore it. That's my other issue apart from their mischaracterization of Jimin that I mentioned in my last post. If you, as a shipper, can focus on only the good and you're allowed to swoon over interactions, and that's important to you; why can't I focus on other stuff that I personally deem important?

[gingermintpepper]

Since you feel so strongly about Apollo in adaptations, you probably hate Lore Olympus' version 🤣

(or "Asspollo" like I call him, to distinguish the LO! Version from the actual deity)

Rightfully so btw, because he's a terrible character both morally, as a version of Apollo and even as a villain, his writing sucks.

Oh god; Lore Olympus.

Okay so full disclosure, I never finished LO because I do actually love myself and suffering through shitty greek myth adaptations is only fun for me if I can tell that the author has a point they're trying (and failing) to bring across. Lore Olympus was already failing on so many levels that by the time the Apollo assaulting Persephone thing came up and I realised it was going to be a recurring thing, I was so mentally checked out that I couldn't even be scandalised LOL

Nothing about him even remotely resembles the figure Smythe claimed him to be an interpretation of which honestly is a shame considering that I absolutely adore a villainous Apollo and he makes for an utterly terrifying antagonist when done correctly.

Like, in a vacuum, I don't even mind an 'Apollo who wishes to usurp Zeus as king' story! There's a legitimate case to be made for Apollo being born before Ares and therefore being Zeus' firstborn son. There is a legitimate conflict to be dug into about Zeus' two most favoured counsels being children from relationships outside of the one with his wife. And Apollo was honestly a massive asshole when he was a young god! He was rash and impulsive, he ran about treating the world like it already belonged to him and didn't particularly care about the people he displaced or inconvenienced in his rush to establish himself. He was insulting his fellow gods, had a ton of pride and was enough of a terror that I genuinely think the islands and coves had the right idea refusing Leto sanctuary because they were afraid Apollo would trash the place the moment he was born LMAO

If Lore Olympus meant to channel this rowdy Apollo into their mess of a character, then they also did a terrible job of that because, vitally, LO's Apollo isn't intimidating. He's written to be pathetic, self agrandising, cowardly and foolish - the kind of person that's meant to look bad in order for the protagonists to look good. Apollo as a villain should be so destructive so as to inspire fear - the kind of ruthless, focused destroyer that makes you remember that he's named not for light but for the very destruction that he's now bringing.

So like, yeah, I don't like LO! Apollo 😂 Frankly, I think of him more as like someone's pet who was named after the god rather than something that's meant to actually share any qualities with him. The actual worst thing about that little freak is that it introduced a ton of people to the concept of Apollo and now there's people who cannot divorce the image of Apollo from a vile, pathetic, idiotic rapist who cannot even gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss his way into a decent succession plot.

Also he's not pretty, not handsome, and has short hair. Waste of my damn time is what he is 🤨