#NO! >:( Not what I want! & those are the only ones who aren't stoners!

[heartfullofleeches]

I know I ask for a lot from y'all, but brainstorm with me [mentions of cheating (not by Reader) [

They've finally done it- Reader, absolute sweetheart, a shy introvert working hellish hours as wait staff at a nightclub doing a job they likely aren't cut out for has finally made enough money to pay off the ring they picked out in preparation to propose to the love of their life. The two were highschool sweethearts and with another close friend from school returning to town for the reunion, Reader sees no better time to pop the question than at dinner that same night to celebrate their return. They've been waiting for an opportunity like this for so long they instantly shoot down their work mates invitation for a party after work and beg on their hands and knees for their boss to give them the night off - the same hard ass boss who can never say no to that overtly sensitive employee of theirs.

Their boss is such a push over they let Reader go early. Reader is so excited they forget to inform their soon to be fiance and head straight home. As they enter the house, there's something almost immediately wrong. Their friend should be here by now - why was the living room empty?... Didn't their partner hate that scent of candle?

What....what is that noise coming from the bedroom?

Reader ease the bedroom door open... and their heart shatters. They rush out of the house, careful not to disturb the two, right back to the only place they know where to go. Reader dries their face of tears and puts on their apron, trying to keep a brave face as they ask their boss to be let back on the clock, but anyone who looks at those eyes knows they're not one and in need of comfort-

Who is the one who gives them said comfort?

• Reader's workmate/only real friend who has aired their not-so subtle hatred of reader's ex. Laid back, bit of a stoner, comes off as pushy/hash at times, but only wants the best for them. They take Reader back to their house for the party where the two hook up with a stranger for a threesome to get Reader's mine off their ex and through his encounter Reader's workmate finally gains the courage to confess their feelings and ask Reader to be theirs..

• Reader's slightly older, hard ass boss drags them into their office when the heartbroken waiter breaks down sobbing on the floor. They warn Reader not to get so caught up over the relationship because people their age never know what they want. Reader's boss gives them a handjob and the rest of the night off to recover in their bed.

• The regular who's had their eyes on the little lamb who looks so out of place in a club like this notices the tears in their eyes and asks what's wrong. They can hardly contain their excitement when Reader begins their sob story. They invite the broken soul into the private room they've booked in the club and claims them in front of jealous onlookers. If it hasn't been implied clearly enough, the Yan in this scenario is a lust demon who has fallen in love with Reader

[Regardless of what is chosen Reader will be Amab as there will be smut and it's what I prefer. No gender for any of the Yans have been decided, but I'm leaning towards amab for the workmate and a bit more on the Fem side for lust demon]

[whorejolras]

this has been sitting in my drafts for months and i'm finally posting it.

it's adding on from this post about Fantine and sex work in les mis. this post ended up being long and more about sex work than Fantine but it does come around i swear.

the way we discuss Fantine is very important, but why?

the way that we talk about Fantine and sex work in les mis - on tumblr, with our friends, in the brick club chat, in articles and in scholarly analysis - directly correlates with the way we treat modern day sex workers and the struggles we face today. notably, the fight for decriminalisation.

i'd argue that Fantine is the most famous of the "dead sex worker" trope. i'd argue she's one of the most famous fictional sex workers. she was just name dropped in the new mean girls movie. everyone knows the story of Fantine the "Miserable Dead Prostitute".

to many people, the book or musical is their first and often only point of reference for sex work, and informs how they treat real life sex workers. many of us interacting in fandom are or will soon be adults with jobs, you could be a childcare worker or a doctor or therapist or any role that makes you a mandatory reporter. and if you hold biases towards sex workers and your patient or the parent of the kid in your class is one, then what.

(you know i had a therapist tell me once that if i had any kids she would "be forced" to report me to the police for "child abuse" on the grounds of my job. that was discrimination and was illegal as i live in one of the four locations in the world with sex work both decriminalised and a protected attribute under discrimination law, but it still happened.)

how people think informs how they vote, and public opinion in turn impacts legislation that actively damages sex workers and puts them in real danger. (criminalisation, the nordic model, "legalisation" also known as licensing, instead of full decriminalisation).

here is a resource put together by NSWP, the Global Network of Sex Work Projects that covers terminology and legal frameworks. I recommend giving the whole thing a read, but if you just want to learn about the difference between the different legal models I'm talking about read from pages 12-14.

full decriminalisation is the safest best practice option for all sex workers. not the nordic model, not select legalisation, full decriminalisation for all workers including those who aren't "legal" citizens.

bringing this back to Fantine. when i search analysis of sex work/"prostitution" in les mis, this is the shit i find.

link 1 | link 2

i don't even know where to start on rebranding "oldest profession" to "oldest form of oppression" and "trafficked and forced into the industry" - the trafficking conflation is a common one. the majority of labour trafficking occurs in industries completely unrelated to sex work, with sex trafficking numbers being grossly overestimated. there are no true numbers because under criminalisation victim/survivors of sex trafficking can't safely seek help for fear of being criminalised. decriminalisation helps everyone.

I will also say that the trafficking narrative is a racist xenophobic one used to target migrant workers, making them more vulnerable to higher rates of police violence, detention and deportation. if you want to get deeper into this I recommend reading Migrant sex workers and trafficking - Insider research for and by migrant sex workers.

yet here we see the idea that most of (if not all) sex workers are trafficked or forced, a narrative that removes the agency of sex workers and obscures the reality of labour trafficking. in short, lies which serve to sensationalise and erase real lived experiences, provide publicly-sanctioned excuses for the heavy policing of marginalised communities, and helping no one.

i will quickly say here that you'll never meet anyone who fights as hard for sex trafficking survivors than sex workers and sex worker peer led organisations.

and in the second example, you see how even though they're saying sex work, (so they listened enough to know not to say "prostitute" anymore), but they're still sharing anti-sw beliefs like "selling the body/selling yourself", violent phrasing that denies us not only agency but connection to our bodies, autonomy, and consent.

this is something i'll talk about a lot more in the chapter analysis that i'll get around to finishing and posting one day: but fantine doesn't sell her body to sex work any more than she sells it to the textile factory. how is one form of physical labour "selling your body/yourself" and another isn't? at the end of the day, she still owns her body, just like when i leave a booking i still own my body, just like when i clocked out of my past civilian jobs i still owned my body. we sell labour, we sell services. not ourselves.

noting here that even when discussing exploitation and trafficking, phrasing it as "selling your body" is also gross, still removes the survivors agency and connection to their body, and shows that you're not really a safe ally to survivors at all.

these ideas, that i pulled from the first paragraphs of two of the first analyses of fantine i stumbled across, are the same ones that sex workers around the world argue against when lobbying for full decriminalisation. it's the arguments we have with law makers and councils and saviour organisations and our own families and friends.

i'll talk about this more later but look at how anne hathaway finished playing Fantine and then signed off on a letter and petition against full decriminalisation of sex work and advocated for the nordic model - ensuring that sex workers and trafficking victims alike would be more vulnerable to violent clients and policing.

ironically, the same thing Fantine faces.

so my whole roundabout point is it matters. the way we talk about characters like Fantine matter. this directly impacts how real people treat real sex workers. this directly impacts legislation that directly impacts the lives and safety of sex workers AND survivors of sex trafficking.

just in case i haven't said it enough the safest option for both parties is always complete and full decriminalisation btw 🫶🏻

all links in case they break (sorry for making it longer but i don't trust tumblr with links lol)

tumblr post:

NSWP terminology and legal models source:

screenshot 1:

screenshot 2:

Migrant sex workers and trafficking - Insider research for and by migrant sex workers:

anne hathaway article:

[hesitatingspirit]

I. Boy v. World

it feels like the world is against me sometimes.

and i dont know how to make it clear that i just want to be left alone. say hi my name is adam nice to meet you please dont hurt me im just a boy please i just want to be treated like one of you. you dont have to even talk to me but if you refer to me just maybe say he but if not its okay & i’m still too aggressive. say nothing at all and i’m just too difficult to even bother with at all. loser from the start, this is an eternal summer and you’re god’s least favourite cold-blooded experiment. strap in and enjoy the ride: you’ll be here for a long time.

If I am offended by someone calling me a woman, I am too much. I am one of those trannies that makes everything about them, the spitting image of the blue-haired, big-mouthed, angry-faced caricatures of trans individuals created by the right. If I am not offended, I am making a bad name for my fellow trans siblings by not standing up for myself when people misidentify me. I am normalising the idea that people are allowed to “mess up” on purpose, label me as whatever they want. I can never win: The only way would be to never get misgendered again. To not even have it be a possibility…

But we all know that this can never happen.

No matter what I do, I am always wrong,

because what did I expect when I chose to do this?

I mean,

Everyone knows how the world feels about people like me.

What DID I expect?

Would it have been easier for me to just stay a girl?

Easier for which one of us?

The world is run by spiders weaving complex webs of lies and careful misinformation, all vague enough to seem true to those who only catch the news in passing and parrot it at work, conversing at the water coolers. But being wrong is a disease, and baby, it's contagious: Mask up and shut your mouth and maybe even your ears too.

They are just trying to provoke me. They want to make me step out of line, so when I finally say “hey im a bit uncomfortable” They can finally say

I knew there was something about him!

He is one of those, he lied!

He DOES make his identity his whole personality!

No. It seems that my identity has become YOUR personality,

because my gender defines everyone but me:

The way people react to my face usually tells me all I need to know.

I can recognise a cold gaze from around the corner,

through a brick wall and from a mile away

I'm a psychic, honey, and I'm never gonna change,

so dont shoot the Messenger, okay?

and it goes like this it goes

boy with mustache makes a face when stranger calls him a girl

boy with mustache apologises for the trouble in case stranger noticed

stranger scoffs i dont see why it's such a big deal you can't expect everyone to understand

boy says i know and i’m sorry

boy goes home and forgets what he looks like.

It kinda goes like this:

different place wake up with a different face who am i today well everyone sees different things

but you know me i ride my own wave, this is My summer soundtrack

i am a skateboarder i am a stoner i am a rockstar

i am a bleach blond baby boy abandoned by god and i will never die again

mask after mask name after name

another ring around my eyes after another night awake

bags full of sleep deprived weekends staying busy with a racing head

lids heavy with the memories of endless nights

it’ll weigh me down ‘til i’m lowered into my early grave

and all the brick roads and sunsets up in my favourite singer’s hometown will never hit me the same

ghosts see the world differently,

ever so slightly colourblind

translucent lids half-covering eyes that have grown so tired from all they’ve seen

an eternity an observer

an eternity more to go

the people who care what you look like or hate what you listen to aren't really people that should be in your life anyway. so i don't care too much when they cut me off.

i don't care at all,

i just find it so insane that somehow i'm hurting people by being alive. by breathing.

if i enjoyed the shapes of the words she and her in your mouth if i enjoyed the twang of their sound waves if i could love the way the words hit my eardrums then my existence would be pure, a gift from god and i would be a miracle

but because i stand up for myself

because i have committed the crime of wanting to be happy

i am irredeemably evil

forever unclean,

stain on society and a file best left unopened.

top secret, confidential. don't ask, don't tell, but tell them what you don't know, tell them what you want to think. don't ask, don't tell, but they’ll always ask, and you’ll always tell.

“we don’t talk about her anymore.”

“she went crazy.”

“i heard it was drugs that did it.”

“i heard it was schizophrenia.”

“i think she was into witchcraft.”

god forbid a boy want to be loved: god forbid i avenge my death.

porcelain is so easily cracked,

you don't think i have a right to self defense?

i have to crawl out of my grave because this city is all i know. and this place can get so damn cold.

my rebirth will be slow. it will be terrible. and it is commencing.

[plutobutartsy]

I know some people really do hc those characters because they “act” black, but don’t say everyone does. Some people do purely cause they think it looks nice, or because they want to. /lh /nm

Personally, darlin has never had a set design in my head. The others purely because I saw art of it and it stuck, nothing to do with personality or actions.

And with Hux, people (that I’m aware of at least) hc him as a stoner purely because of his voice and the way he talks? 😭

(not being mean or trying to start a fight, just saying not to lump everyone together cause most aren’t for that reason or are purely coincidences.)

💖

i'm trying to phrase this as nicely as i can but it really feels like you're being deliberately obtuse.

yes, people have different reasons for their headcanons and most probably don't have any malicious intentions at all. that doesn't mean their headcanons don't reenforce racist stereotypes.

"purely because they think it looks nice"

cool, genuinely no malicious intentions here! that means it was pure coincidence that they headcanoned, let's say darlin who often gets characterized to be aggressive, as black. in that case they should be more careful in the future as to not run into this issue of turning a character into a racist stereotype again. once is an accident, twice is a forming pattern.

"purely because i saw art of it and it stuck, nothing to do with personality or actions"

again, no malicious intent here!

if you saw art of it ONCE by ONE person and it stuck: same thing as above, try to be careful and think of possible racist connotations before just taking a headcanon and running with it.

if you saw MULTIPLE people with this headcanon, maybe even to the point you would consider it fanon, think about WHY it's such a popular headcanon in the first place. ask yourself why lasko, a nervous and soft-spoken sweet person, is widely considered to be a skinny white man while darlin, somebody considered to be tough and aggressive, is often portrayed as black or darkskinned. ask yourself if you truly see no racial bias here. if you don't see it then i don't know what to tell you.

"people mostly headcanon hux as a stoner because of his voice and the way he talks"

i am aware of that. but for him to then also coincidentally be one of the only characters they headcanon as black? if i give them the benefit of the doubt then they're still ignorant and need to educate themselves.

i'd also like to reiterate that by no means am i saying that you're only allowed to headcanon specific characters as black or that you're not allowed to headcanon your huxley or darlin as black. the problem comes in when your only poc characters also fall into racist tropes.

i'm saying that if your only non white, darkskinned characters are those that are antagonistic, violent or aggressive you are being racist (or colourist depending on the context). i'm saying that you need to take care to not turn your characters into racist stereotypes and tropes.

your intentions don't matter here. if i slap somebody to get a fly off their face i still slapped them. you can still be racist even when you don't mean to.

mind you, me and other black fans aren't asking for much. we just want you to take these things into consideration before making headcanons.

and not to be rude but your whole "don't say it's everybody" stuff comes off as very patronizing and i'm not having it. i made a general observation about a big part of the fandom and therefore made a generalized statement.

[strwbrrypoundcake]

I wanna rant about something ed related

All of those people who say "exercise so you are thin not skinny fat" first of all, those of us with a high sw are gonna have loose skin, it's unavoidable when you lose a large amount of weight in a short amount of time. So there's that. Also, skinny "fat" is still skinny, which would be a great improvement for me already. When you're "skinny fat", that's the time to tone and work on your muscle. It's incredibly difficult to weight lift when you're on such a restricted diet. The best thing to do is to focus on getting to your ugw, then slowly working your calories up to maintenance. Once you are consuming your maintenance calories, then start weightlifting to tone your muscles. Of course while losing weight you should be active because it just makes sense, even if it's only a little bit. And if you can lift weights while eating 600 cals a day and fasting for 3 days at a time go right ahead, more power to you. But no one should feel bad because they don't have the energy to weight lift. I know I don't. My exercise is walking and working with kids, which does me just fine when I can handle not binging. I find that extreme workouts make me hungrier, so I don't workout until I drop because it doesn't work for me. Yes we give advice on how to lose weight here, but it is not "one size fits all" as ironic as that is. Don't listen to people who tell you to push yourself beyond your limits. You don't need to lift weights or fast endlessly to lose weight. Calorie deficit and somewhat balanced eating habits will do you just fine.

If you want some advice on how to lose weight, increase your protein intake and reduce empty calories (fast food, white bread, sweets, etc. look up what foods have empty calories for more). Protein keeps you fuller longer and I'm a living example of that. Last night my mom bought me my favorite sugary cereal, and normally I'd have 1, 2 up to 3 large bowls. But instead I made myself a marshmallow protein shake for 160 calories. It both satisfied my need for something sweet and made me so full I couldn't comprehend the idea of having anything else. And for my stoners out there, stick to sativa/sativa dominant hybrids, it will reduce munchies (learned that from another Tumblr user). Never feel bad because you aren't starving the same as the little miss "perfects" who say if you binge you're not valid. Because EVERYONE has binged at some point, especially people with ednos/bulimia/BED. Those are all eating d1sorders. Fun fact, people with ADHD can be more predisposed to binging because food gives dopamine. So find what works for you and stick with it, always learn more about nutrition. Because when you reach your ugw, you shouldn't go lower even though it's hard. Slowly increase to maintenance and increase your activity as well. And for the love of all things unholy work through your trauma, emotional eating is real and without working through stuff it'll be harder to stop binging. This whole thing is trial and error.

Most of this stuff is extremely hard, I know, it's taken me 10 years to learn everything I know and actually put it to use. And I still struggle, but I will never say I'm perfect or put others down because they aren't doing this "right". I can share my knowledge and give safety tips, but I only know what works for me. As a bigger person with an ed who has been told I don't have an eating disorder I know how hard it is out here.

In conclusion, don't tell others how to starve, don't listen to those who try to dictate your eating d1sorder and be as safe as you can. Ultimately it is you who decides how you go about things, when you recover and how you live your life. No one else. I love all of you, without Tumblr I'd have no one to relate to.

Rant over, sorry it's so long. I was affected by people who said there was one way to do this, I felt like a failure for years and no one deserves to feel that way, it's hard enough having an ED, it's unnecessary to add on to people's stress

[bathoarchives]

On The Rise: A Conversation With Tefoffline

Tefo Kosie best known as Tefoffline is a 20-year-old rapper, producer, and upcoming mixing engineer from Kanye, Ga Maila.

With the release of his mixtape 'Tomorrow Might Be Too Late' last December, he has further solidified his place as one of the most exciting new-age rappers in Botswana.

Where did you grow up?

Well, I moved around a lot when I was growing up you know. Initially born in Kanye, I lived in Gabs for a good 8 years before moving to Mahalapye for like a year or so. Then I came back to the south, living in Molepolole for 4 years before moving to where I live now which is somewhere around the city.

How did you get into music?

I think I've always had a musical inclination from a very young age, mostly because of the music my parents was bumping. I was like 4 or 5 when I used to go into their room and play Michael Jackson and Johnny Mokhali CDs. In terms of Rap and Hip-Hop records, my uncles put me on man. During school holidays I used just get dumped at their places and these dudes was playing a whole lotta rap shit at the time. You know your Lil Wayne, Nicki, Drake and Rick Ross, those are the 4 niggas who properly introduced me to this Hip-Hop stuff. In terms of my rapping, I wrote my first ever rap at 9 while living in Mahalapye. But what had urged me to write a verse was the fact that me and my friends at the time had a thing we did after school where we'd rap and just talk about Hip-Hop stuff for hours on end before we all went home. We used to do like other niggas verse's you know like the stuff that was popular at the time and really just stuff we liked until one day i decided to surprise these dudes and rap my own shit that I wrote. It went as well as expected and I been kickin it since.

How did you come up with the name Tefoffline?

I went on a long ass sabbatical in like 2021 just to get off social media and get my mind right and tbh, that was most amount of work I did, music-wise and just life-wise. Basically, thats where it came from. I felt like I worked better off my phone and the internet as a whole, so I just merged that with my name. It just took me back to how I used to make music before I encountered phones and shit. Back then it was just my imagination, pen, and diary, and I was the most efficient working under those conditions. I think I was going through a name change type situation at the time and I just didn't want a regular name that everybody had or some typical white man's name like nah. I needed to bring it home as well. I like that I included my real name in there because it just added to the authenticity. Real shit.

When did you start releasing music?

I only started dropping music in 2021 and to be honest anytime I think about it I can't help but laugh. I was in the kitchen one morning at like 9am and I was like 'Yo kana I did this other joint yesterday, maybe I should drop it, and I did and it went crazy. I think that when I really decided to go all in after seeing all the good things everybody had to say about my shit.

How would you describe your style of music?

Right now I won't lie i'd say I'm making some real stoner music. Like stoner anthems fr but seriously I'd say it's like a mix of alt-rap with jazzy elements and the truth really. That's what I describe it as because it's really music about my life you know, the ins and outs, ups and downs, the weird shit, everything. I look at it more like confessions in a way.

What inspires the style of music you make?

A whole bunch of things tota. I like music combinations and rhythms that aren't conventional. The regular shit is hard as well but I never really wanna limit my references. Niggas like MF DOOM, Earl, and MIKE been inspiring and continue to inspire the music I been making to this point. If you look closely, all these cats have a thing in common: they produce and rap. So that's the school I came from. Tota hela anything goes with me. I'm a big house music fan as well so I'd say that inspires my shit too.+

What inspired your recent mixtape?

Life has a funny way of showing you who the boss is. I guess I was just going through that shit and decided to document it. Like I said I see it as billy would say, Truth Rap, so for me it was an easy thing to write the records. The hard part was outgrowing the tracks. It's like you can't get that first feeling on a track you've been working on for 2 years so it took me a while to get it done but all in all it was a good experience man. I went through some stuff and if you listen to the music you'll hear it. Everything is on the music.

How was the process of creating it?

Man, it was like any project to be honest. It's like you develop a new love for creating and you're almost always excited for the first few months. But then it becomes routine and it gets mixed up with other bad routines in your life prompting you to try to escape or change that. I ain't gonna lie that shit got me off course for a good while. Just focused on living my life. Writer's block became a hassle at a point and I was nearly like 'F this' but you know, that's how it be. I really had fun man but truthfully I've been over that project for a good while.

Vocal layering seems to be a common aspect in a handful of your tracks..would you consider that a part of your signature sound?

Yeah definitely. I used to make tracks without adlibs and backings cause I had a different perspective on what music should sound like. But you know, with time, you grow and learn and I just decided to incorporate all that into the records. I really love music with good backings and adlibs, not even just rap, so it was more of an 'I'm making the shit I like to hear' type of vibe. That's just how I move with my music. I know what I want in terms of the sonic direction, so I just do it myself. Even with the latest project where that kinda thing is prominent, I knew how I wanted it to sound like 2 years ago. I just had to practice and implement that knowledge. 

Is there anything you're doing apart from rapping?

Yeah, I'm a student currently about to get my bag, soon. I do a little music journalism for my school magazine focusing on music, but besides school, I have a couple of business ventures I plan to implement, especially this year. I'm a business dude at heart, even though I never studied it. I've always loved the fact that you could make money from your own ideas on your own terms, so I won't dwell too much on that but yeah. I also recently started officially heading a little label imprint called 4EVAFADED, which comprises the people responsible for the success of my tape and my music in general, my niggas idyllicsoul and Rxssi on production, as well as fellow rapper NovSon who's a young MC trynna make moves as well. I'm what you call a Renaissance man in a way, I just have a little trouble with laying out all the pieces because it gets messy.

Any local acts that you find exciting?

There's tons; I wouldn't even know where to start. My favorite rappers right now would have to be Nikky Dymondz, banzai, Jesonyana, Chrysus, OneTake 267, and my boy NovSon just to name a few. In terms of singers and vocalists, I have been messing with that Magadi single (Backseat Headrush), Sebaga got some really cool-sounding projects, Fourteen'O'Six is hard af, Courtney got that one track, and how could I forget spacerover and Chubbs (Lucas Chubbs). Oh I fuck with Pablo and Xortic as well. Them niggas is crazy like I won't even say much, but I'm sure I'll be able to experience most of these artists because I was privy to meeting some more amazing acts last year. So maybe my list will change in a few. I just had to give you a few because I can't really think of some right now, but I'm a huge fan of local shit. It really is my bread and butter.

Any thoughts on where the music game is going?

I really think everyone is getting to do anything they want especially sound-wise. I feel like we're not confined to doing what pleases labels or whatever so it's more of a whole group of niggas just making music they really mess with not because they have to make that stuff. So I think you know, with that kind of freedom, the landscape changes over time. I also love the fact that dudes like Saigo (saigotheeditor) have been able to do the photography stuff and shows to basically accompany the music, practically building aesthetics for the sonics, so a big shout to my guy Lerroy, that's my guy.

Do you have anything you're working on right now?

Yeah most definitely, but the stuff I'm making right now I wonder if they gon' like it, because it's some weird shit man. That's all i'm going to say for now. Oh! and I did a couple of features that I hope will be out this year with some amazing artists. Sometimes I don't even believe I did that but you know, I did.

Speaking of features, you are featured on 'The World Is Yours' by Nov Son, how was the experience of working on your first collaboration?

It was really cool. One of the easiest and laid back collabs I did. He hit me up and was like 'We need to get in the studio' and I was down fr. My nigga Idyllic was working with him as well, so it just made things easier but yeah he was recording some songs from his upcoming album and we knocked a couple out the park. Watch out for that project btw. That was also when I met my nigga Rxssi; they was moving as a unit back then so I just decided to mess with them and what they did because normally I just keep to myself and do shit on my own or with like 1 or 2 of the homies. It's a very personal thing for me. People probably think I hate collabs or something, but they're so hard to get done because of the different mindframes, schedules, and shit but I always try to make sure I work with other artists because I believe we work better together.

Stream Tefoffline HERE

Instagram: @Tefoffline

Facebook: @Tefoffline

[lesboscarymarlowe]

pretty boy

part one (2016)

I wanna be a pretty boy with long, soft hair that I can put up in a bun and when people see me they'll say "look at that asshole with the manbun" and I'll laugh because yeah I am that asshole pretty boy with the manbun and it’ll be so wonderful that someone saw me and thought of me as enough of a man to add "man" to a previously gender neutral word, so that it’d be obviously acceptable for a man to have his hair up in a bun.

And I wanna be a pretty boy with a flat chest, a real cock and not this fake one made up of socks that no one would wanna suck on except maybe a fetishist but that's not what I want. Ibwanna be a real pretty boy with real pretty boy parts and not these parts that my mother and doctors and society insist are only for girls even though some boys can have these parts and some girls never have these parts and that's okay.

And I wanna be a pretty boy so all the other pretty boys see me and think "wow I wanna kiss that boy" and it won't just be straight boys who look at me when I walk past in fact straight boys will wanna avoid me because I'll be so pretty they won't be able to stand it they'll have to look away from me and my long, soft hair that's up in a manbun and my soft smile and the glitter that's on my cheeks and my ripped jeans and high heels and red lipstick because I'll be so pretty they'll realize that they aren't straight and that's terrifying for them.

And I wanna be a pretty boy who can take his shirt off at the pool without getting arrested and I wanna feel the water on my bare chest and feel how flat it is while I’m sitting on a reclining chair and covering my chest with sunscreen so I won’t burn and I'll ask my pretty gay boyfriend to put sunscreen on my pretty gay back because I don't want that to get burnt either and he'll laugh and mock me for being so pasty that i need 100 SPF sunscreen and I'll laugh at him and slap his leg and he'll grin and kiss me and the summer sun will shine down on both of our pretty gay bodies as we both can finally have our chests free to the world.

And I wanna be a pretty boy so when I look in the mirror I don't see a silly little girl in instead see a pretty, queer boy with pretty, queer eyes and pretty, queer lips and pretty, queer hair and a pretty, queer body and I want the world to see me as a queer boy and not a slutty girl or a boyish girl or a lesbian or a freakish girl or a quiet girl or whatever it is people see me as I don’t want that all I want is to be the slutty, freakish, quiet, queer, fabulous, nerdy, cute, lovely, ugly, annoying, hot, sparkly, handsome, obsessive, stupid, innocent, scary, pretty boy that I really truly am.

part two (2023)

I love to be a pretty boy, with curly pink hair and a deep voice. I love putting my hairy, DDD tits on display. I love what testosterone has done for my self esteem. I love my slutty outfits, I love my bimbo personality. I love the confusion when people hear my voice. They want oh so desperately to ask if I have a cock— Of course, polite society won’t say it in those words. I won’t tell them that I’ve grown a fat tdick in the past years, of course.

“Are you a transvestite or a real woman?” asked to me on the street. Fear in my heart as I don’t know what the “correct” answer is. I’m afraid of the violence being a pretty boy might bring upon me. Even so, I refuse to let the fear stop me from being who I’ve always meant to be. I might wear mini skirts, but I also wear steel-toed boots. Men will only learn that the hard way if they wanna push their luck.

“I want to be a pretty boy with long, soft hair…” You will, my love, you will be that boy. You will also be a girl, a woman, a man, a tranny, a faggot, a dyke. You will embrace all these parts of yourself and you will love each and every one, no matter what the world thinks of it. You will stop starving yourself and you’ll stop drinking and smoking and, okay, maybe you’ll become a bit of a stoner but that’s okay. You will be okay. You are okay.

And your pretty gay boyfriend is now your pretty gay fiancé and soon he will be your pretty gay husband. You’ll be his pretty boy wife and you’ll love every moment of it. He’ll still make fun of you for how easy you burn, but he’ll also find it hot how much you sweat in the sun (he’s a freak like that).

I am a pretty boy, a pretty girl, a slutty woman, an incorrect man. I am a queer, a tranny, a dyke, a faggot, a lesbian a transexual a homosexual a domme a bimbo a feral a butch a femme a cripple a retard a queer a queer a queer. I am a Jew and I am an atheist (agnostic?) and I love g-d and I hate her. I am everything and I am nothing.

I want to be an elderly dyke, living a long life with my gay little husband. I want to be a cantor, an art historian, a writer and a poet. I want to pursue knowledge until my dying breath. I want to be the queer who helps guide those younger than I, like all the elders who came before me. Who helped guide me, helped me embrace my true self.

I am so much more than I ever thought I could be. I am so, so young but I am excited to grow old. I finally want to die of old age.

When I look in the mirror, I no longer see that same broken reflection that haunted me in my childhood. I see the pretty queer boy with pretty queer eyes and pretty queer lips and pretty queer hair and a pretty queer body that I always knew I could be. I am the slutty, freakish, quiet, queer, nerdy, cute, lovely, ugly, annoying, hot, sparkly, handsome, obsessive, stupid, scary, pretty boygirl that I was always meant to be.

P.S. straight boys still like you, unfortunately:/

[ihatetaxes99]

Returning to my thoughts on the Twisted Metal series, I feel another way in which 3 in particular derailed the franchise would be in regards to their portrayal of Calypso. Because I feel that every game since aside from Black has taken the wrong lessons about his character.

For a brief bit of backstory for those who aren't in the loop of the series, William "Calypso" Sparks was a former demolition driver who died in a car accident around the mid 1980s. After impressing Satan, he managed to come back to life with the ability to grant "wishes" to whoever he wants, with no limit on cost, size or even reality, and as such, he initiated the Twisted Metal tournament, where combatants battle it out for the chance of one wish from Calypso. All of this backstory comes specifically from Twisted Metal 2, but aside from 4, every game that released after 2 either runs with this backstory or at the very least doesn't contradict it, so I'm going to take this as canon.

Now, what's the problem with 3 and a fair few games after it? Well, I feel that they ignore one vital thing. Calypso is not an asshole.

Well, okay, he is. He's a massive dick, actually. He will take any opportunity within the rules to screw over the winners. However, the key point is "within the rules." There are ways his power works that even he cannot control. He can perceive someone's wish however he wants, but he cannot give them something completely wrong from what they asked. For example, Hammerhead's ending in 2, one of my favourite joke endings in the series. The two stoner kids driving Hammerhead demand that Calypso gives them the ability to fly. He does so and they immediately leap off the building they're on, plummeting straight to their deaths. And from the rooftop, Calypso watches on, remarking that at least the plane tickets he bought for them are refundable.

That's a good indication of how Calypso works. He will try to screw you over, but if there's no way for him to do so within the rules then he won't just cheat. As demonstrated in Axel's ending in 2, as well as a surprising amount of Black's endings, he is fully capable of giving the winner exactly what they want, no strings attached. You've just got to be careful in how you phrase your wish.

3 sort of completely trashes that. Calypso just becomes a complete douchebag who doesn't follow his own rules whatsoever. Most of 3's endings are joke endings, and I would argue the only one that even somewhat works is in Minion's ending, where he wishes to return to Hell, so Calypso teleports him to Hell. Hell, Michigan, that is. I genuinely find that ending pretty funny and it lines up with the previous way in which he operates.

The other endings, however?

...

Hammerhead's driver wishes to be able to watch television in peace, so Calypso straps her to a Clockwork Orange chair and forces her to watch TV for the rest of her life.

Axel wants to become one with his machinery again (which contradicts his entire storyline in 2, by the way), so Calypso turns him into a clock.

Flower Power wants for plants and humans to coexist, so Calypso has her eaten by a flytrap.

Are you starting to see the problem, here? 3 was the start of Calypso violating his own rules in order to screw people over, which was never a part of his character. Calypso is a vicious, evil, sadistic monster, but he has guidelines and he used to follow them closely. In the pursuit of making a bunch of wacky joke endings, the developers of 3 forgot about this important part of him.

To finish off, I'd like to return to TM2 to give an example of how much character development Calypso can have, and how all later games (aside from maybe Head On) ignored that.

Grasshopper's ending. Those of you who have played it know where I'm going with this.

To make a long story short, Grasshopper is driven by Krista Sparks, the daughter of Calypso who supposedly died in the same car accident that killed him the first time. However, the Krista driving Grasshopper in 2 is not Krista. She's a cyborg built by the LAPD with Krista's memories implanted (yeah, I never said 2 didn't get bloody ridiculous at points as well), her goal being to get close to Calypso, kill him and end Twisted Metal for good. In her ending, as she emerges from the vehicle, Calypso demonstrates legitimate shock at seeing her, before he realises she's a cyborg. Tearfully, she informs him that there's a bomb inside her and that she was sent to kill him. She pleads for him to hold her, claimimg "I know I'm just a machine, but I'm scared it will hurt."

And what does Calypso do? This insane, maniacal ringmaster who has the power to do whatever he wants? Does he run? Does he teleport himself or Krista away quickly before it goes off?

No. Calypso moves closer to his daughter and hugs her, as the bomb goes off, killing them both.

Now, Twisted Metal canon is a bastard to unravel, but what is certain is that Grasshopper's ending is definitely not canon, since Calypso is still alive in Head On, which is 2's direct sequel. But it demonstrates a lot about his character. He's evil, but he has a heart. The Calypso of Twisted Metal 2 was a man of his word, a man who would die to comfort his child. There's some speculation that Krista's pleas for her father to hold her could be considerer as her wish, and as such, it all comes back to how he would follow the rules, no matter what.

In all fairness, some of Head On's endings would actually elaborate on this. Most notably Needles Kane's ending in that game, where Calypso clearly does not want to grant that wish, but has to do it anyway. But for the most part, 3 kind of butchered that part of his character and since then, most interpretations have just characterised Calypso as a massive asshole and little else.

[judjira]

Oooh im loving the initial thoughts for the scooby doo au! Basically we're getting double the gang lol. Please tell us more 🥺

GUYS THIS WAS JUST A STUPID IDEA BUT ok

first of all they are mystery incorporated and they all go out and investigate hauntings and ghosts. there is a van and it is cute bc it is overcrowded as hell bc there r 9 of them n a dog (im still contemplating what the dog is there for,,,or what the dog is named)

nayeon - nayeon just seems like a lot to deal with when they're out on cases,,,always messing around, flirting, not actually focusing on solving the cases, but gosh if she doesn't have the loudest shrieks when there's a loud noise. and then when the case is solved, she's the one who tells the reporters ALL about what they did, as if she solved it singlehandedly. ofc the others don't mind, i don't really think they like handling the media, and they lov nayeon too so like go ahead girl

jeongyeon - now i wouldn't call jeong a stoner in this au,,,but yeah pretty much, always chilling out in the back of the van, eating some sandwich or playing with said dog, i feel like jeongyeon's just coming along for the vibes, plus she likes scary things but all they ever find is old men hiding behind ghost masks so like whatever man. whenever something scary happens, she's more likely to just laugh and point at how stupid it looks

momo - mom #1 of the group, always makes sure the gang has all their gear, their extra clothes, their water bottles, their necessities, and even extra snacks just in case anyone gets hungry. i feel like momo would be always in the lead in one of those creepy hallways that the gang has to go through, and everyone's hiding behind her even though she too is equally scared and her knees are wobbling but she doesn't want any of them to get hurt so she stays strong <3

sana - i feel like sana LIKES being scared she's always yelling or screaming at the most mundane of things that aren't even related to the case, and when they're out investigating she's clinging onto someone so DAMN hard it's cutting off blood flow,,,but i also feel like she's the one who would actually bust out taekwondo moves if someone were to actually attack them, next thing u know she's arrested for aggravated assault on an old man wearing a ghost costume

jihyo - mom #2 of the group and probably the driver of the van, too. jihyo's probably the one who whips the rest of the group into shape by splitting up the gang to investigate multiple areas and report their findings, she's probably one of the only ones who takes this shit seriously tbh, but she does love the other members, it's just they have a knack for fooling around more than anything

mina - nerd #1, mina's probably the one who actually solves the case by doing some science-y thing or deduction (read: basic context clues and common sense bc no one else has them) mina probably has the map out when they're driving and attempting to help jihyo navigate where the actual hell they're going, while she's also trying to calm the other members who are scared

dahyun - ok hear me out i know theres no one like this in the actual scooby doo BUT i imagine dahyun as like,,,the girl in the chair??? like she's in the van, watching all the cameras, hacking all the security, talking to the others through a headset, and just watching the chaos unfold, ALSO she is deathly afraid of ghosts which is part of why she stays in the van bc she doesnt want to risk seeing an actual ghost

chaeyoung - probably the brain dead adrenaline junkie who chases after the damn ghosts, with not a lick of common sense in her HAHA she's always falling through pits, tripping on traps, and generally just being a reckless woman who wants to see if ghosts are real or not, probably also shit talks ghosts just to provoke a reaction out of them bc she's like 100% certain ghosts aren't real

tzuyu - nerd #2, tzuyu's probably the one talking some actual common sense into everyone and is probably the most rational thinker in the group, like there are no such things as ghosts, and whatever they're investigating probably has a logical explanation to it, also probably the one deducing who exactly the person behind a case is, listing out their motives and methods

ok now that ive written all this i kinda wanna write a fic where they investigate a case that has an ACTUAL ghost behind it that sounds like fun

[leopoldainter]

To some, and at least one I know of

6 is a roman and not a numeralTetrad.rik

More is whistling hot Cho tok dog

Hey I could be volunteering here some kind of um

People are noticing my miilllii sigh rub ha ha cho whats who? Well then there's this whistling chokti

If I wanted to draw all over

THE PLACEsaying what I knew you'd drive off a there's no teamaple pikng up these tots boo.hoo

TangwrineTbatsignal so then after you can keep them see if my holes modify calling lily wat up k

Actually these lighr bulb covers by skme of these Cherokee Freezers for grocery item exhibitions itz jesr negeldaruon BUT FIRST THIS bring in xylofin

It's unbreakable. But I'm going to let go and if I see even a teensy piece of broken glass'°jeeperz

How pretty much been planing all covid long he is your brother and you have a responsibility node adjecent

I really passed her off

They are from a future where freon is a nucleur fluid sublimated through gas and lastly.

Kthats still a king if they want to be like that

I like what your selling so let's cut to the chase. Some people know words can't explain life and it hurts but. You also need to understand that biologis a visual and sound (time) study of filmed states. Not life

Still life at last posits the terminator

To show th3 limiss of what sour e material can day to one

It's not radio there's a ball of wood in this whistle

It's satellite something

He's whistling at the lady taking the stairs she had way to much of that bishojo drink last night you can hear her head pound

Nodenudge

AdjecentUgh

I really just came for that

They aren't some employees.

Yeah I know no no thankyou. I don't have vine but, well I got tequila

I know railing

Everyone knows they have no power oh hey totally break up with him! She's dumb do you know my alligator?

I found out volunteer king aluminum foli

Right see EPA train watch

.Margot Martindale l u be

Uh oh syet chips Stevie acting but... he did die

One of our presidents

That's not possible

It happens

They're wax

Not all the way through

There's the netting and the medal

How long have you seen the perm run

And there's a gear doll there tokeb

We are in the parlor.

How do they get that crap on the hair. Even that's not the

Pojnt

Page

That's what Santa suffers of. Redundancy all round reduced stoner poll in artic circle.

These people are unbelievable I ask for a fake bowling cauldron and it's inverted3dblured then I want some pennets it's the damn stairs of munchkinland.

Then why say anyway for friendly paddlez is just they "act'x'electrkcuted',ech_ra la hey hey got mi e hugg3d here's n o w toichNewfile

Als9 in side of my left eye I can see a カ by the y and I can pop it with my iris anx king flips that line and the togble blooms

Pardon amen tie. You know!asexual!some one from the better business bureau

I had a few things fixed at williwonka

Grandpa SAYS

sorry I asked

Sepijan Omega SAYS

Do you think slugworth would pay extra for this

Now for those paying attention for it old maid

Nope another's here keeps coming uo here

Therez a question

There how do we handle int.

Are you talking or am I talking

It'z not up to you your not involved writers dead there's possibly a mutant wastland in newfoundland mains a psychic lo e interest psychic uncle psychic

Ok so it's intnut or Dointourlow

Ooo nice writing that one down

Do

Not

Forget

Ok see again I got lots red glow sneakers and roots all ik seeing are knee bones popping out everywhere i thought this was easy listening where are people finding these psychics there again see those sunglasses that terrain can't watch

The actual problem is that instead of having first relied on bogus powers in magic with hypotheses you choose to falsely identify as existing people on real positions with truc qualifications. The magic things just there cuz the rest is usually boring. 2000 years and there's only one new fondue to go with the other fondue for any Easter. Its not a different fondue if you make it with that jiffy marshmallow bunk. You guys got sit

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Because you finished all the plans before the walls move in there

Toggle c3pp you hA one wall wakrt two walls

You got options

That is what he'd say his Characters dead

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No not thus McDonald's

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What not.

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Oh i understand they were emphasizing they WERE party by using PARTYmusic

Cuff that with boys what room is theater

Theatre's lounge

Theater hall

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I have card board

I'm thinking your talking here

I'm blocking cardboard here

But we leave those sofas not to cheat but to even out musical chairs ok

Go

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Sir they given Korea up

Where's dominoes I was promised dominoes don't move but for cardboard INEED JACKETS

Ok so weird bd'ver been given diet advice by a teenager girl through dance I thought you needed some kind of degree to you know get dance

[burnbeforepod]

"Dear Señor Admin" by Christina Kann

Dear Señor Admin:         

i see you standing

in the middle of a high school hallway

looking around at the teenagers

this is it

this is what we're all coming to

the freshmen

up by their lockers

the girls' skirts six inches wide

the guys cussing && hitting on girls

pretending they're so much older than they are

that's the most immature action of all

the stoners by the elevator

baggy pants

tight shirts

hanging off one another

more baby more

more sex

more weed

more everything

it'll never be enough

they'll never be enough

wasting away their minds && their lives

so much they could be brilliant at

down the drain

&& rolled up in a joint

in their respective departments

the band nerds

the artists

the computer geeks

classified

made what they are by the judgements of others

what if they just want to be someone?

make something?

down the hall a bit

are the other kids

scene

emo

whatever they're called now

victims to a ridiculous trend

a trend that started by making depression fashionable

then turned into a revolution         

oh, what a revolution

what a revolution where "emotional" is a fad that comes && goes

where cutting is a fashion statement

where you either ARE

or you AREN'T

&& if you're anywhere in the middle

there's no place for you

&& the preps aren't girls from prep school anymore

preps are girls with low self-esteem

&& guys who know it

kids who don't have a definition

but want one more than anything

they look for thrills

parties

&& relationships

but it's all for nothing

because it can't mean anything to you

when you don't mean anything to yourself

&& on the completely untouched end of the spectrum

are we kids by the wall

you call us your "social outcasts"

we're not good enough for a clique

not good enough for you

what with our non-comformist ways

and our ridiculous obsession with individuality

we're so individual that we manage to think for ourselves

we do what we want

because we want to

not because it's cool

or to fill our meaningless lives

because we know

our lives are the most precious things we have

besides each other

we love each other

we make you nervous with our love

how dare we hug each other in your presence?

how dare we act like we love one another half as much as we actually do?

how dare we have fun?

this is a school

not a dance floor

not a whore house

not a party

not a bedroom

when we're the ones with love minus sex

they're the ones with sex minus love

but the truth is

we're just a bunch of kids

wanting to know what this thing we call "life" is for

so, sorry, señor admin

when we don't follow your "no love" laws

because

you know what?

love

is more important than anything we'll ever learn in school

it's what those fuckups you cherish as your future are lacking

it's what's going to save us

&& yet    

it's the one thing we'll never have enough of

so

señor admin

stop bitching at us for wanting to love and be loved

&& start bitching at them

for not

because

we're the only kids

who actually know what love is

so thank you for your attention

señor admin

[kisstheashes]

All this talk about weed made me want to ask. Do you have any resources on it? Or tumblr blogs? My friend hates it so much that they pretty much think anyone who smokes is disgusting and bad. Having even just vaped ONCE cause a spew of arguments because they asked me not to before. I’m not trying to convince them to smoke, but is there anyway to maybe… make them not be so negative to it? They legit see someone smoke weed and it will cause them to have a mental breakdown. I just want to inform them that it’s not THAT bad.

Honestly....not really. And if their aversion is really that bad, a few articles or scientific papers aren't going to convince them otherwise. When you're so totally convinced that a substance is that evil, there's really only one thing that could help. And that's time, and a very large amount of patience. This "slow conversion" if you want to put it that way is not something I'm good at doing with other people, because I am the one it generally happens to. I literally used to kind of be that person about weed, and now I'm a stoner, so. It's a character trait.

Like I'm sure I could say like...well you vaped once and you were still you, so shouldn't that help? But from what you said. Clearly it didn't. Maybe if you brought it up and said some shit like "but did you notice me change at all afterward?" or like... "Yeah, I felt different while I was high but I feel no addiction from it" or however you want to say "theres no lasting effects on your psyche". Though realistically this person could take years to start changing their mind, if they ever do, if you're a dear friend and they still reacted that way. I find that those people will dig in their heels until it either finally clicks one day, or it just. Never will. Bringing it up more often can help in that regard, but it can also break your relationship if they don't want to change. And they have to want to see other sides and be open to more interpretations of living.

If this person has done a 180 or even a 90° turn on other ideals and morals they've held, then you can safely assume they might do so here. But if they're like this with everything, the deck is stacked against you and I wish you godspeed on that quest.

And I also can't like. Be like. "Oh its not harmful at all" bc 1) theres always caveats and also 2) I would consider my ass addicted to it (or at least the reprieve it gives my mind) so like. -gestures-

Weed is a fantastic drug. It has a lot of medicinal properties but besides that its just a lot of fun and relaxing. It's not for everyone, and yeah the smell can kinda suck. There's something to both sides of it, I think, since. It's a drug. And even ibuprofen can kill you. (It almost killed me.)

And just a side note, trying to change people's minds on something by listing the medicinal uses or emergency cases just makes people carve out an exception for "those" people, and it keeps their base ideology the same.

[teezdc980]

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[bunglebees]

random hanta headcanons

KING of impressions & u can fight me on this

u name it -- shaggy, kermit, JD (heathers,,, who sounds a lot like a certain dusty fella we know,,,), shakira, hades' skelly, owen wilson, mickey mouse, edna mode -- you name it. he's better at doing things around his register tho

likes to come up behind people & start talking to them like a character or respond with a character quote in their voice

is seconds from snapping at any given moment :)) they're the only one w the brain cell aside from katsuki in the bakusquad. sometimes.

absolute enabler to denki & eijirou

WIZARD with a box cutter ???

really good at throwing knives!! he can also do knife tricks >:3c

dating or not, denki & shoto are his closest friends!! he values them a lot 🥺

tries to piss off katsuki (harmlessly) at least once a day

DIE HARD ABBA FAN

single mama! talks to her every day!!! he loves her!!!!

she’s teaches yoga sometimes, which definitely fed a bit into his more bohemian vibes 

used to be obsessed with patterned duct tape & was super sad he couldn't make his look like it :((

him & aizawa train together sometimes!! aizawa teaches him moves he uses for his scarf to see if hanta can replicate them

personally i don't hc him as a stoner, it doesn’t make sense to me, but he definitely got a little too excited for brownies his cousin made once & ate a few too many before realizing what they were ✊😔

used to have braces -- those perfect teeth of theirs aren't hereditary, but they take good care of em!!

toru was sad she never got anyone to do staring contests with her, so he suggested she put mina's falsies on and neither of them could stop laughing at how she looked that they forgot what they were doing in the first place

mirror pic king 🥵 def pulls his friends back if they pass by a reflective surface to take a pic!!

okay him. and denki,,, as noel and cody IM SORRY IM SORRY OKAY IM SORRY BUT I HAD TO SAY IT

he gives off maaaaaaajor streamer vibes & likes to fuck around on websites marketed toward younger kids (like dollmaker websites, barbie games, poptropica, u kno). he has a pretty large watcher ratio!!

speaking of, i love @error-thisblogisdead ‘s fanart of podcast!sero and they 1000% have a joint podcast with todoroki that features other kids from class 1a & sometimes 1b. he tries to encourage everyone to be featured on the pod for their Very Own Episode at least once (if they feel comfortable) & it usually revolves around a certain topic they’ve picked

i mentioned it before, but hanta loves true crime. hanta, shoto, momo, and mezo like to watch crime documentaries together, but it usually takes a while because they keep pausing the video to theorize and yell at each other

loves dungeons & dragons & is more than happy to DM for friends if anyone’s interested

eventually, after being pestered by izuku enough, hanta DMs a test oneshot for a few people who end up begging him to run a campaign. these people were izuku (naturally), eijirou, ochako, tsu, yuga, and katsuki (who is actually really good at RP once he loosens up). they’re still working on a schedule, but it’s always on hanta’s floor & it’s very loud. toru, kyoka, and momo like to sit in but don’t play. 

everyone else is invited to watch if they want except for: shoto (tsu jokingly asked him to cast “fireball” & sho’s a shithead that almost did it), denki (wants to read the PHB/module books & wont give them up if someone needs it), tenya (backseat driver even tho the man knows Nothing abt d&d), hitoshi (also kinda a backseat driver but more of an enabler toward the party “huh, aoyama could totally use disguise self and p--” “SHUT IT, MINDFREAK”)

likes to try weird foods! so far the weirdest has been “live” tentacles, but he almost choked to death and hasn’t tried since lol

likes going shopping with tsu, mezo, and mashirao bc they’re the “clothes don’t fuckin fit me” squad. tsu can usually find things for herself pretty quick, but is generally just a good vibe to have around

ALWAYS wears fun socks. everyone wants to see which pair they’ve got on that day

did a bit of ballet as a kid, but was mainly into gymnastics!!! his mom got him into it because of the yoga classes she’d bring him to while she taught and he just wanted to see how far he could keep stretching after that! 

i also really like the idea of hanta being an aerialist!! that tape technique 👀

i’m pretty sure i saw someone headcanon that he can play the cello, which i absolutely agree with

guitar, too! prefers acoustic 

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[pype-r-morgan]

Stoner Witchcraft Blog Post #1

Amarok, Trickster Wolf Spirit:

and why FN Stories are often similiar but rarely the same

Warning: This post contains information about Chaotic and therefore; unpredictable Deities and Spirits. Do not approach these spirits without reason or they approach you as they did me.

Everything comes at a price - Anne Bishop

Dark Witchcraft is the path rarely followed

I found this on Pinterest randomly. I'm a Plains Cree living in Northern Canada, so some of these I'm familiar with different names and/or origin. Many stories do cross from tribe to tribe, so variations make it hard to find where they came from.

Most of these legends come from above the Arctic Circle. There are some that have travelled south and southwest - Orca and Wolf spirit have often been said to be both at once. What's interesting though, no one taught me that beforehand. I just figured it out based on the spirits being so similiar. Intelligent, loyal, family taught and orientated, pack hunters, harmless until they aren't. I actually (stoner me) missed that first time I looked at until now.

No... The spirit that grabbed my full attention was Amarok.

A lone giant Dire Wolf that'll either kill you or make you stronger. Chances are not in your favour if you cross one by accident. They're chaotic neutral, as most tricksters. They're gender neutral like most spirits, unless you're brave enough to check. They can speak, but rarely.

Amaroks fit right at home with my mixture of chaotic or neutral (usually both) Patrons.

Anubis

Lucifer

Loki

Amarok

Orca

Anubis is really the only voice of reason, Loki and Lucifer try to help... The Orca has been with me since a child in its wolf state, but living in a river town, I often dream of Orcas in fresh water.

Now, before anyone goes "name your source" first is wiki, second is my own experience, third is I'm one of the last generation raised as a traditional FN. My first language is Cree, and I grew up with many stories about different spirits, including several similiar but different creation stories.

I do talk to these Deities and spirits often. No, they are not beginner material and I don't encourage anyone to approach any of these Patrons. They will kick your ass if you fuck up badly enough, but they repay handsomely for loyalty, for a price.

These Deities came to me for my unusual compassion and empathy for those most forget about. I'll take extra suffering to prevent another. I'll sacrifice what means most to if it helps me regain myself and offers hope. This meant that despite wanting to hold on, I had to let go of the fact that, right now, I can't have a dog.

This year I had to give up two. My SDiT for snapping at a child, and a rescue that wasn't suited for my small place with no yard. My break up with my long term partner and Sir broke more than my heart. My big girl passed last year at 15.5 years. That when Anubis first came to me. Lucifer shortly after, and Loki the beginning of the year.

Amaroks ... Wolves in general don't scare me. I was the toddler who sat with the feral Rez dogs and got bit in the face, only to go back and leave that one alone.

It's not lack of fear; it's blending into whatever energy is needed. It's chaotic energy in raw form.

I just wanted to share this because I have a lot of stored witchcraft knowledge packed in my minds sacred space.

From tarot, mythology, cryptids, channeling, pop culture and witchcraft, music channeling, TV channeling, meditations, pet and animal magik, dark (not shadow) witchcraft, what is and isn't a familiar (yes, they can be physical form but their spirit will never leave you. Not all pets or even spirits make such an impression on the soul. I've been blessed with three in my life, my Hybrid directly connected me to Anubis and still holds place at his side.)