#NOT MAD DW I JUST FIND IT HILARIOUS

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

um hello again hk community <3

I AM NOT BEATING THE KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR ALLEGATIONS .....

thank you to the number one superfan bestie @lovinglin for enabling me so bad she made hollow x ivie content faster than I did <3 please follow her <3

[midnightshindig]

I love Donald so much, I wish he got more love from the fandom. Can I request general dating headcanons for Donald? Both SFW and NSFW (if you want, no pressure if you're not comfortable!)

Donald X Reader hcs (sfw and nsfw)

I'll put a warning for Nsfw dw!

super short lol... thank you for the request!!

Hcs under the cut

Sfw

Donald is a total dweeb ngl

Like he's not too good at handling himself in social situations without being an aloof government assistant

he really likes the song "government hooker" he finds it absolutely hilarious

a weirdly good dancer

but white man dancing, don't get it twisted

does a little shimmy iykwim

like to twil you for fun

this mf is so phineas and ferb coded what the fuuuuuuuck

Type of man who, in casual circumstances, is wearing a short sleeve button up OVER his tshirt

probably with some nice fitting cargo pants or darkwash jeans or something

but honestly he wears the suit so much he probably just sticks with that

probably has a watch collection

his dad had one so ofc he has one

Call you "dear" but in the exact same tone he says "sir" or "ma'am" like very matter-of-fact like it's either your name or your title

When he's trying to be sweet he'll wrap his arms around your waist and lean over and be all "I love my wife/husband/spouse" and then you'll be all "I love you too" and he's all "Bitch I was talking about my PARTNER who are you?"

but he's just being silly and then he kisses you

Likes to get brunch with you

idk why he seems like he'd fuck up some eggs Benedict

Or some bacon

definitely a savory food person

He likes it when you order for him, he has to handle so much in his day-to-day that his love language is acts of service

His love language to give to you is definitely physical touch

gives great massages

gives AMAZING hugs (its okay I'm fat too I can say that)

used to love the terminator movies

now it's just a little too weird

same with teen titans

Super into Back to the Future and is so bummed he never gets to figure out time travel

plays boardgames with you whenever he can

that's his ideal date

board games

that or an escape room

Nsfw

Type of man who is bouncing between extremes

unlike Cecil who is always temperate and chill, Donald flips between being too busy/stressed to have a sex drive to jumping your fucking bones

he eats you out idc

He's a robot, his stamina is "yes"

why would he not?

He's a FIEND for lingerie or really just... cute intimate pajamas

Loves it when you wear his t-shirts and just underwear to bed

He's a solid 5 inches, but thick as hell

it's all in the technique

HEY WAIt- do you think the guy who has to rebuild his dick is weird about it? like... that's gotta be weird

Cecil refuses to let Donald change his appearance as a cyborg so he doesn't fracture his sense of self beyond repair

which is fair but Donald's still mad about it

Donald is a panter

doesn't make a lot of noise but he breathes super heavy, which is hot in its own way

like, he's over here breathing HEAVY because he's using all his muscle and attention to fuck you into this mattress

Struggles to put on jeans sometimes bc of his stomach and you just watch in AWE as he wiggles into his jeans

On that note he wears dark gray briefs exclusively

the socks stay ON in bed

he's weird about feet

like babu it doesn't matter you're a robot

andthen no sex bc he's having a crisis about being a robot again

poor guy

Really good with his hands

accidentally bites WAY too hard when giving you hickeys

fucking obsessed with your stomach and the way it feels and looks

big, round, flat, midsize, abs, he's obsessed it doesn't even matter

not even sexual but also it turns him on when you wear croptops

or when he can see your stomach when you lift your arms in a slightly too short shirt

ugh he's a freak fr

no he's not he's a totally average dude who wants you carnally

its just life lmao

[blind-alchemists]

i'm still a bit mad da:o is Actually Good because i vividly remember how i reacted to that broodmother scene when i saw it in a let's play years ago and i really don't look forward to playing it myself

anyway, some revelations from by playthrough so far:

actually not mad i broke my rule of "first playthrough is a female dw rogue" for this because it's fun

but: This Game Is Bugged

i love the variety in the entropy tree

mages are as op as they say, to the point where i have essentially solo'd entire enemy groups (incl. that surprise revenant and the desire demon with the charmed templars in the Broken Circle)

... after i got damaging spells. yeah, you need damaging spells. and you need healing spells.

the origins are really cool. i see why people want them back.

i also understand why people want a mabari. the dog's hilarious.

Morrigan. i love her.

she's so mean but she also tells you the first time you're in camp that she doesn't understand a lot of social rules, cues, or traditions, much less is able to keep up with human society and finds it overwhelming. plus she was raised by Flemeth/Mythal, the worst mother figure in all of history.

so why's her romance male-only? and why does it always have to be a rare ship i fall for? :(

tbh i would have loved an option for a mage!Warden to shut down Morrigan at the Broken Circle (along the lines, "I was also a mage of this Circle, and they do not deserve your scorn because they never had a choice - because I never had a choice") without either killing Wynne or being mean to Morrigan :(

Morrigan has an incredibly funny camp-conversation with the dog about how he put a half-eaten hare into her (clean) underwear and when the warden says, "you hurt his feelings," she says something like, "no, i didn't. look, he's just manipulating you. i can tell because i do the same thing!"

Sten's also incredibly funny for the same reason that Morrigan is: Leliana is very well adjusted to society, and Alistair can at least read social cues and has some emotional intelligence, and then you have two people who know fuck all about any of that

i'm kinda neutral about both Leliana and Alistair, and Sten's alright i guess, so i'm really hoping Zevran and Shale are interesting to me. Oghren's ... gotta wait until i have done literally anything but Orzammar.

[asterssunzephyr]

Wait, so weren't Xornoth and Gem watching at the moment of the kiss? And how did the 1 month trip together wasn't obvious?

How did they not noticed until the Christmas party?!

Xor & Gem got bored of dancing and went to the snack table.

No one told them that Shelby & Kat were going to Hermit City together. (I mean, Pearl knew this, she saw everything. She just enjoys leaving her friend & sister in the dark bc its hilarious)

The christmas party takes place right after this month trip too, so Gem doesnt have much time to ask Shelby questions.

Xornoths also not very smart(/j) so when he finds out Shelby went with Katherine hes just like "Maybe its bc theyre idiots & its just as friends?" "Maybe youre more stupid and you like to admit." "OH CMON."

Then the christmas party comes around and Gems rubbing it in his face that he was wrong. He smashes her face in cake & the party is over bc Gem is about to mUrDeR XorXor(dw its all fun & games and shes not actually mad).

Basically: Gem & Xornoth are smart when separated but share one braincell together! XorXor is also a very gay man who was flirting with Joey like half of the night.

[mossmosss]

things abt this comment:

1. kinda rude to me to dismiss that this is original photography and maybe ppl just like my photography

2. you are right though, because people definitely are more invested in this post than anything else i have ever posted in my life. i don't even think i have another post on this account with 1k. people do just like the grass i think tbh. i got 300+ notes on this in the last 3 days even tho i posted it ages ago, but no new followers bc of it. people just like the grass. and it is good grass ngl

3. some people don't have nice grass where they live, and that is honestly very sad. i used to live in the city and all we got was Lawn Grass. also this grass isn't even from where i live, it's from a different town nearby. here we don't get much nice grass either, but there's an oak savanah and sometimes in the pine forests you get some nice pennsylvania sedge

4. im not actually mad at you dw i think this comment is silly. im just still reeling over my miraculous 17.7k note post as compared to my usual rate of 0 to 5 notes lmaoo. i think i sound bitter in this but i mostly find it kinda hilarious. people really want to touch this grass. i didn't even touch this grass. i took photos of it from a bridge and didn't touch the grass bc i was worried abt disturbing it

5. guys i have other posts of grass jsyk 🥺

[historixally-accurate]

hee hoo its late at night but im still awake so im repsonding teehee. youre probably gonna see this during breakfast, so. good morning! ohaiyo早安 selamat pagi <3

YOURE A NATURAL ENGLISH A1er?!?!?!? god damn but also lowkey me too LOL. i dont remember much from when i was still wriitng narrative/discursive essays, but i found it easier than others for the most part. holy yap. ill gladly listen to you yap too its only an equivalent exchange...we're both a bit insane for men halfway across the world who love to go fast in a video game.

your primary school sounds like a nightmare. goddamn. i guess my prisch was also pretty pressurising, but from the sounds of yours, suddenyl i think it wasnt that bad after all... psle huh, crazy times. seems so long ago help now i feel old. i hope youre gonna be okay in your current school :,) the sg school system really doesnt let up, but its really, really important to know that youre never alone!

thanks for the compliment about marker mediums, though i dont think its actually that bad unless you have markers that are seriously in need of rescucitation. like on their last legs. unfortunately i cant send a picture of that kazuha because going anon removes the image sending feature, so maybe someday in the future. once i work up the courage to actually talk to you under my handle >_>

OH WOW you really have a hbg themed phone thats so cool u_u i agree with your family, thats swag as hell. the slingshot feinberg quote sent me for absolutely no reason, im shaking w laughter rn and frantically trying to suppress it so i dont wake my family. send help😭😭 and youre so real for the daily usage of the word "mongey". its only NOT invaded my daily speech because im purposely avoiding thinking about it...if i bury myself in doing sports surely the bigbigmongey brainrot wont get me smile (no this isnt copium wdym) this is ignoring the fact that without thinking i keep saying "what the sigma" and "what the skibidi" unironically btw. both my friends and i know im cooked as fuck

i actually did NOT know there was an upcoming BAC stream. im like a fake ahh fan... ill do my best to be there but uh. my duties arent over, despite it being the hols. this sucks :^(

mad respect to you, actually playing the game you watch. my lazy ass would NOT get off my ass enough to do this ever smh. im sure getting knocked off by a piglin is a pain every speedrunner can relate to . same goes from hitting the cope. except for me, if that shit ever happens im skipping the cope and striaght up hitting the bong. for SG legal reasons this is a JOKE! MOH please dont find me

hey you take lit too ? aura level just went up dawg. youve just caught a fat lit lover right here. im a guilty guilty poetry lover. sorry i just love both poetry and prose it makes me go WidePeepoHappy

lowkey though if you ever decide to take a HBG members legs may i suggest mr lewis fulham ive heard him being desrcibed as a birch tree so that means hes tall right. ill even aid and abet! im sure he wouldnt miss a few cm

bro did NOT just do the clash royale laugh at me😒😒my friends keep telling me im firmly chaotic evil. like damn where is the democracy bros didnt even give me a chance to squeak out a fart before straight up attacking my reputation😟 they my opps frfr

i get it when you say you get pressed cause whenever things dont go as theyre supposed to i inwardly get more and more tilted LMAOOO dw ur not the only one.

i would loooove to watch hbg do more sports related content because i find it hilarious that the one time at twitchcon (?) during poundy's football match there were SO MANY INJURIES... tf you mean couri broke his mf elbow in a sport supposedly restricted to legs. as a sportsperson i really do love playing sports wahaha <3

i cant tell if youre serious about liking amath but damn if you like amath thats really good smile :) much more formula based but overall more predictable.

question for today... what made you decide talkingmime was your favourite hbg member? kinda curious and wanted to give you a reason to yap more about him . feel free to type out a response the lnegth of the mekong river, i promise ill read it i love to read (maybe that why im such a good lurker LMAO). personally im still undecided on who my favouirte member is, but since ive talked so much about mr condiment cringe man 21custard i guess ill just say i like him cause of his goofy ahh humour and memes. im just a sucker for people with good vibes/dryass humour/an entire arsenal of your mom jokes. dont ask about tgat last one. im currently trying to know tekniik better and im falling victim to more deez nuts and your mom jokes than ive ever experienced before. i love it btw

holy yap i think ive talked too much.....never trust anything you say after 9pm....i think they were right the demons got to me. namely my unhealthy terminal obession with fart jokes. same to you, hope you have a beautiful mongey pyun pyun morning <3 always happy to give you an essay response. arigato for readin ;)

-sgmcsr anon

hi anon!!! sorry for the late response, I just got sick and I WAS SLEEPING FOR HALF THE DAY TODAY. let's get cracking

about my amazing spectacular skibidi English, yes! natural English a1-er ^_^ well actually it was only up till like eoys where I got my first DEVASTATING B3, but apart from that, I've been doin good for English. call me. idk Shakespeare. idk. ALSO SHARING OF YAP.. whenever you gain the courage to ask on main, I'll gladly yap with you... I'm online literally 24/7 now that I've got nothing to do with my life, so it'll be nice to speak with someone in the same timezone and who has the same interests that I do.

about my primary school, yeah it was a little bit of a nightmare academically. coming to think of it, because of all I experienced, it doesn't seem that bad because I experienced it. but on paper it's terrible. wow. anyway, not to be trauma dumpy or unskibidi ^_^ struggling to make friends in my current school, and MOE's school system is unrelentless as always, but ball it we fuck, I am okay.

about marker mediums.. I see... that's really cool.. yeah, all my markers are like. dried up and I haven't bothered to go buy new ones or ask for new ones </3 I'd love to see the weed smoking kazuha one day... very excited

about my skibidi HBG wallpaper. I feel like my layout is hella cramped, but its what I have to work with because. I don't know how to organise my phone. maybe I'll sit down one day and figure out how to make it cooler </3 also, very mongeyful, very beautiful. I am filled with mongey joy. ome

not sure if it's obvious, but fein has also cultivated my usage of the word 'skibidi' specifically?? it's very obvious because I say it every 5 seconds :') and because of one specific mime clip, fulham has influenced me to say the word 'peculiar' very very often 😭😭😭 like instead of calling someone weird, I'll say 'dude! you're soooo peculiar.' yeah, I'm a little normal!

bout the upcoming BAC stream, yeahhh I don't blame you... mime released that fact like. a couple streams ago, and even then nobody knew he was live except for like. 20 people? so i dont think it's just you who doesn't know, dw! I'm just caught in the loop :3 besides, it's on either November 22nd or 23rd, and it'll take at least 24 hours, so don't worry about not catching it for at least a little ^_^

about my. haha. very terrible learning of how to speedrun. despite getting all the help I could ever want to speedrun, I'm still absolutely terrible at it, and I can never find the motivation to do so </3 I'd love to be better and gain more confidence or motivation.. I just don't know how to do that. also, fuck hoglins, suck it pigs >:(

ALSO. FUCKING FART JOKES?? I'm drawing the line...anon... you are behind bars now........ STAY AWAY!!!!! (/j please stay they're funny) as someone who's purely true neutral, I have no comment and will nod my head, saying 'normal ass Tuesday in singapore'

about which HBG members people.. fuck it you get the point I'm tired of this format. yeah! Singaporeans and their short fuses, it is so normal and I am no exception </3 it's awesome tho, I can keep boundaries as someone who says yes too much 😎 hell eyah

HBG FOOTBALL. couriway breaking his arm, silver r runs spraining his ankle and tapl harvey also. straining his ankle iirc??? that shit was so chaotic. IF YOU WANT HBG PLAYING LIKE. FOOTBALL. THE MINECRAFT KIND. here's a feinbergfunny/feinberg rocks video. enjoy.

I haven't done too much amath, but. ohhh it's so. clear cut?? it's very inchresting. I think it's not terrible so far... but I can't say for myself </3 must keep grinding forward and see

GOLDS DAILY DOUBLE.. why is mime my favourite HBG member.. and how did I come to that conclusion... man, it's been like 2 months.. I think it's cuz i watched the silverrrunsfunny video about HoN? and it's a lot of mime n silverr clips... the 5 minutes that they were trapped doing parkour in a cubby hole tryna get the last easter egg made me extremely intrigued like.. who is this MIME GUY... he's so peculiar... and then I finish the video, and see talkingmimefunny recommended!! I watched all his videos. and I got hooked. SO FAST. ended up finding people who also like him, and found out he did BAC, and. the rest is history. or historix. haha. Hahaha. I like mime because of how smart and organised he is, I also like how he take initiative in a lot of events that he's participating in together with friends. I also like people who are snarky and have a very interesting voice but you didn't hear this from me. at all. aaanyway, apart from mime, I also really like nEmerald and fein? I like emerald because he reminds me of lifesteal cc mapic, which drew my attention to him. he's also really silly. and I'm a sucker for people who have green as their colour pallete. feinberg.. he's just. silly. and he's feinberg man I don't know what else to say bout that 🤷

Holy yap. happy 11pm! NEVER UTTER THE WORDS 'HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MONGEY PYUN PYUN MORNING' EVER AGAIN. I CRIED. SO HARD. it's fucking hilarious. I'll start using that with my friends. anyway, as always, have a skibidi-tastic, mega ultra kawaii, animefied morning if you see this, and an alpha, rizz master night if you're seeing this at night and you stay up.

here's your daily mime doodle :)

[neuvistar]

HELLOOOO I'M FEELING MUCH MUCH BETTER NOW!! (Also slept too much but shhhhh)

I love bladie anon hehe I'm here to bring all the sunshine that blade doesn't have (blade has plenty of rainbows. He's a walking rainbow.)

I mean,,,,yeah sure it's a guaranteed but idk I've only won like two 50/50s ever since I started playing and it's so discouraging because I have so many characters I want but they just never come :(

Also my friend and I had a theory lmfao (feel free to laugh) but basically my luck has been going downhill ever since I got Alhaitham and I've lost every single 50/50 pulling for a male character to a female character

So naturally the theory is Alhaitham is literally cockblocking me LOL (I happen to kin Kaveh so this is extra hilarious)

And I've also lost all my 50/50s ever since I got Luocha so,,,,yeah it stands LMFAO

Heyyy dipping in and out is GOOD and FINE honestly sometimes we forget that tumblr ain't our job it's just a hobby site lol I think just find the sweet spot/pace that you work at best!! That's the way to go around it methinks :)

This is really random but I'm having massive fomo seeing my friends' stories and every time I'm stuck at home recovering from either physical or mental illness I'm just like :(((( when it's literally only my third week here

Sigh

But don't let me drag u down I hope ur doing well!!

-- 🔪

hihi mb for the late reply <3

alhaitham’s always mad bro dw abt him 👎👎😒😒ur luck will be restored in no time trust!! besides, 4.1 is already out soooo u hav more opportunities !!

Yeah!! i recently got sick so i kinda unintentionally pushed back my other work i was gonna post a few days ago but i couldn’t bc i was technically on my dead bed but it’s alright! <3 sickness happens ig

NOO NO IGS OKAY BLADIE ANON U ARENT DRAGGING ME DOWN OR ANHTHING I JUST FORGET 2 REPLY N REPLY RRRRRLLLLLYYY LATE 😭

[dreamofbecoming]

listen when i say the roomie’s cat hates me everyone is always like “ohhhh i’m sure she doesn’t hate you! she probably just isn’t comfortable with most people! maybe she thinks you’re the fun aunt who’s only for playing!” and like. i appreciate it. but i promise you this cat. Hates Me. specifically. it’s unclear why (my theory is that the anesthesia from her spaying rewired her brain, since she liked me fine before that) but she definitely actively dislikes me.

you know that slow blink thing cats do when they like someone? and how you can do it back to reciprocate? i just slow blinked at this cat and watched her eye twitch as she actively fought the impulse to blink at all.

[cousin-quartz-of-house-paradox]

okay! more iris audios :3

[yes, i did basically cover most of the iris audios. read if you want recs / detailed reviews with both pros and cons!!! and, ofc, rambling about how much i loooove iris<3]

The Wormery: okay, so this is unique among iris-appearances-in-dw, because, unlike the others, where it's been iris-appears-in-a-doctor-who-story, this one is the-doctor-appears-in-an-iris-story. (bit of context to what i am talking about here.) also i just need to add i LOVE how steve cole writes iris...<3 (funny thing is that i don't vibe w his EDAs, but adore his iris stories lol) this story has everything. nightclub. iris falling over drunk in the first few minutes or so of the audio. six! sixie!!!! iris not-knowing and teasing them about the Trial and basically carelessly stomping all over their hurt. my beloved. the TEQUILA WORMS!!! Plot Relevant Alcoholism from iris<3 i just LOVE it. oh, and BIANCA! how fun :3 also the one Moment which can be objectionable (where six... falls in love (?) with bianca (?) can be written off as the psychic effect of the club / bianca on the doctor. it was definitely that. ALSO that scene where iris says she's been drinking more to figure things out and "convince [herself she's] not going mad" and six goes oh iris... i'm so sorry... like!!! beloveds!!! also iris falling asleep then and the doctor saying she's insufferable....<3 also WIMPS = weakly interacting massive particles<3 also, love the atmosphere, the whole- the whole way the audio's executed, the side character waitress narrating it to seven! sort of hurts how the doctor cares for iris a bit... especially when she tries to not have that lol. (elaboration here.) also, cabaret (and dark cabaret specifically) my beloved!!! thank you soo much steve cole + paul magrs :3 i love this audio so much you've no idea. the plot, hilarious and beloved. bianca's cabaret, i would go there if i could. six and iris interacting. the whole- just, everything. i love love love it!!! if i talked about every scene i adored we would be here for way too long and also i would run out of energy to talk about the next ones. so. onwards!

Muse of Fire: oh my fucking GOD i love this audio SO FUCKING MUCH???? like it's insane it's insane i love it wayyyy too much. alright. let's try to talk about this while staying calm. okay. okay. so! first of all, it's a seven-ace-hex audio!!! i love it i love them!!! the early ace-hex dynamic shown here my BELOVED. how iris compliments hex quite casually (to her) and hex, who has never had anyone compliment his appearance ever, is just SO grateful to iris. beloved. ace makes a joke about hex having s crush on iris (she hasn't met her yet lol, and hex is dragging ace to iris' party anyways,) hex replying, a bit taken aback in that adorable way of his, that she's quite older, ace saying that, well, that's not a problem. beloveds. then, iris effectively steals hex. later, in return, seven manipulates panda to work against iris. like i WOULD say 'don't drag other people into your divorce proceedings' but like. please do. it is so so entertaining. seven and hex snooping around the antagonist-of-the-week's place (not that they know it yet) and accidentally setting shit off, my beloveds. and ace and panda HATING each other is sooo funny :3 and that SCENE when seven and ace are snooping around in iris' bus, ace asks when/where/whether seven knows iris. it replying, "a long time ago in the future" <3333 ace finding iris' journals and thinking she's actually really cool, seven saying that they're all stolen stories (i won't be debating the validity, what i think of that here, maybe i'll make a post about it all some other day.) also, hex being a nude model. iris making one (1) sex joke (in the entire audio!!! free her from censorship, she can't live like this...) about it and ace being "WHAT." seven explaining that it was, in fact, a joke. THE FUCKING SCENEEEE WITH IRIS AND SEVEN STANDING OFF AGAINST EACH OTHER!!! I LOVE IT WHEN THEY'RE SOOO DIVORCED!!! IRIS TRYING TO MANIPULATE SEVEN INTO NOT GOING AGAINST HER PLAN BUT YOU CAN'T- YOU CAN'T OUT-MANIPULATE THE MANIPULATOR!!! wooooo!!!! "consider the battle lines drawn..." sylvester mccoy your ACTING!!!! seven and ace storming away after that. ace telling hex to go with them, him saying that he can't, ace getting so fucking mad at him and slamming the door. hex going "i mean... i can't... i haven't got any clothes on..." beloved XD the fucking SCENE at the party when it turns out seven's been tricked by the antagonist-of-the-week, everything's gone to shit, then dora muse (antagonist) confers the title of biggest (artistic/creative) genius upon IRIS!!!! and the doctor's 'surprised, and strangely disappointed' lol. and then, and THEN, the person iris loves most is PANDA!!!!! (doctor goes, "again, strangely disappointed..." like. lmao. i mean, ofc, from their point of view it's very obvious from iris' actions -- her chasing after the doctor -- but it's not that! because iris' head is a bit fucked up, and seven came to the most reasonable conclusion it could with the evidence at hand. proper explanation of iris' head/feelings on the doctor here.) iris throwing herself off a roof into the fucking seine, "give me back my Panda!!!" just- beloved. later ace and hex being upset over iris' apparent death, ace getting frustrated at seven for seemingly not caring. seven saying that "death doesn't seem like something [iris] would put up with" AGH BELOVEDS... seven and ace going to the bus to pay respects / tie up loose ends and seeing it NOT THERE!!! IRIS IS (ofc) ALIVE!!! like- she programmed her bus to pick her up in the water, she's alive, and panda due to his paradoxical nature is okay too!!! yay!!! like anywhere else this would feel like a cheap cop-out but i cannot emphasise how much this is IRIS WILDTHYME!!!!! >:)

The Devil in Ms Wildthyme: well, considering her everything, i am not at all surprised that the devil is in her. (<-bad sex joke XD) anyway, all that aside, it's nice! i like it! sure, steve cole's writing of iris improves later, but this is really nice too! the vibe, the iris wildthyme vibe, is there. the beginning is... certainly a choice? which i don't completely agree with? but it's alright, because tom gets roughed up a bit, and i love when that happens. steve cole is the #1 guy to get tom roughed up :3 (maybe i'll post a review of his short story in the Wildthyme on Top anthology, Beguine, which i love and where tom gets<3 roughed up<3) there's... a Lot happening here, and i feel it's a bit too much for one story? it's chaotic + confusing as hell (which, always fun for an iris story,) and shit doesn't completely get explained or make sense, but hey, that's iris for you! :P which is to say, if this was in literally any other series, it would be weirdly out of place, bad in how there's too much going on and nothing's properly understood because of the time constraints. (or alternatively, one could pull a Ghost Devices, and have a one-offs say that it "doesn't make any fucking sense" XD) but here, as an iris story, it is actually doing well! because that's the iris vibe. and it... it fits really nicely into the second type of iris stories which are just so iris!!! and i don't agree completely with steve cole's characterisation of iris, but it gets better later on. his later stories are better at iris.

Iris Rides Out: fun story! there's some exorcist dude with a summoning circle XP. iris installs a randomiser, ends up in said summoning circle, gets called a witch (and panda her familiar!) and then panda asks whether this guy's one of her exes because he's gotten quite a lot of things right XD besties stay bestieing XD. they go to hell! there's pig guys! telepathic communication used to try and bargain with said pig guys! the celestial omnibus as a fucking getaway vehicle when shit hits the fan, because when does it not XD. there's one scene where the guy takes off his shirt to reveal... tattoos (runes according to him) and attempts to use them to fend off the aliens. this does not work as this story works on the basis that supernatural things are easily explained as sci-fi. iris knows this. she still lets him suffer (try) because she's busy checking him out (fucking iconic) and at the last moment she does the actual shit and saves them all XD. it's a fun story! recommend it :)

Midwinter Murders: fun story as well! the bus lands... somewhere, iris sees some suspicious person and follows them right into a fresh murder scene, where she decides to investigate right then and there. yes. right in the murder scene. the police show up and OF COURSE she's taken, she's the main suspect, she is right there, holding the fucking murder weapon, over the body! iris...<3 give us nothing, girl<3 she tries to flirt with the cop to get out of it. it does not work. meanwhile panda is just ":/" all the while lol. she leads the cop on with some stupid story about some adventure IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM. the cop uses horrible cop tactics and tries to get panda to 'confess' and panda. he leads the cop on with some bullshit story about one of their adventures. i love them. later, they've been released, iris catcalls the cop to help in HER investigation (Better than theirs. of course.) iconic. panda's reaction is "iris where are your standards..." mwah<3 ohhh and that one scene where the Monster-of-the-Week is attacking some one-off, and panda says that he used his martial art skills to heroically fend it off. the one-off says that he caused a weird littol distraction.<3 panda is Embarrased<3 mwah mwah. anyway, a nice story!!! fun :D

Iris Wildthyme Appreciation Society: okay. so. ough. this one. i do like it! it's not that i don't! the ending is amazing!! hell, i've been that guy, that- that #1 fan guy, having nothing going for me in my life except iris. but, well, i don't usually fuck with stories that view fans as... less, as disgusting little creatures. if that makes sense? the critique of fangirls (gender neutral) has never been a big hit for me. (because we make fandoms! we're the reason shows are alive, the reason they continue to live on! hell, even the really fucking horny ones -- the iris #1 fanguy included -- make fandoms, it's the love for the character/characters! also citing that one tumblr post which says "if being horny about the Characters is what makes you make things about them/drives you, go for it." because sex isn't inherently less, of course it isn't. (saying that, especially in a place where the mc -- iris -- is hypersexual is so???? what even????) it's the fucking love for the characters, whatever form! ough. i hate fangirl critique sooo much.) of course i love how the guy sacrificed his life in the end, of course i love the whacky plot... but, y'know. also, the saneism really gets on my nerves too. if these are things that don't bother you, you should definitely give this one a try. it really is good... just, a product of the times? even though the 'times' aren't even that old, whatever. the guy's sacrifice is heartbreaking! and that moment when iris tries out about a dozen innuendos, fails, gives up, and goes "oh, [monster of the week] shags [planet] to death!" was HILARIOUS. and, yes, it is that story whose Monster-of-the-Week's entry's made rounds of tumblr. ah, i do love the bus straight-up locking down, when it figured out it isn't iris. (remembering that moment in Verdigris where, upon being asked whether it only responded to iris by the Guy-of-the-Book, the bus basically said yes<3) and panda not figuring out that iris isn't iris was... a choice, i guess, and his disbelief was sort of justified, as people do change, and iris has done worse before, and fame does sometimes get to people's head. iris desperately trying to convince her best friend was a really good scene too. shame about the saneism surrounding the scene!!! ough :/

Iris Wildthyme and the Claws of Santa: alright. ough. i... don't quite like this one either? tbh it gets so bad (To Me) that it loops back around to being funny. it's an absurdist comedy. well, supposed to be. some things i just straight-up don't like. mostly the fatphobia. can we please spend 15 minutes without a fatphobic joke thank you. also the ending sort of implying (coming off as such to me, anyway,) that them growing old was the problem in their relationship, and de-aging them to when they were young again... fixed it? their relationship soured due to aging? they don't love each other anymore because they've grown older? just. eugh. but, except that, i do like this episode! it's all just SUCH an absurdist comedy, and it's actually quite funny! and i do like it! another thing was iris getting a science thing wrong lol, like, stainless steel will NOT have the same properties as iron (which, in this case, is causing an allergic reaction in elves. yes. santa's elves. i am 100% serious) because COMPOUNDS DON'T HAVE THE PROPERTIES OF THEIR CONSTITUENT ELEMENTS!!! XD this isn't really a serious complaint, just a lighthearted thing lol. anyway, i love it a lot because of the comedy. it's genuinely fucking hilarious. the only complaints i have are the fatphobia and also the youth thing.

The Two Irises: okay starting off w the fact that i do not fuck with simon guerrier's writing. like. the heteronormative / traditional straight culture bullshit that i am averse to. like. it's fine (mostly) normally, because i can write it off as, say, the opinions of the POV character or whatever, but here? like, to me, one of iris' core traits (arguably THE core trait of miss wildthyme) is being queer both literally and narratively (as in like, an allegory for queerness. more abt that here.) you can't just take that away! like- what the fuck, you can't just make the whole- whole thing straight? what the fuck. and it just pisses me off SO much, the whole, the whole episode having homophobic undertones, panda being written as slightly homophobic in the way that elderly people are. just. eugh. like WHYYYY are you so afraid to go gay this it LITERALLY IRIS WILDTHYME. agh. what sucks is that the rest of the episode is actually really fucking good! like, genuinely, hilary's whole- whole computer-generated nature was GENIUS. his first words are "ahh... lungs not ravaged by nicotine!" and like!!!! i LOVE him!!!! immediately attempts to throw out all the booze, it's fucking hilarious. panda dislikes him for his nature, of fucking course. hilary keeps trying to suggest better alternatives to alcoholism and panda is NOT having it!!! XD. and, like, roger is beloved too. i will NEVER tire of the evil ex trope in iris wildthyme, it is just so so funny. like. Miss Attachment Issues fucks off again, two dead ten injured the world is about to be nuclear bombed. hilariously good. the fact that the plot hinges on club music. 100/10 i will not elaborate. iris being in the rehab dimension for reasons i guess, hating it there (a place full of washed-up musicians... a horrible place XD) iris just causally calling up one of the two warring world leaders and being sooo flippant about everything, my beloved. and the- the fucking SCENE with all four of them gathered and hilary's nature being revealed by iris!!! the emotions are so well done there!!! hilary's specifically! panda being mad at iris for doing this to him, for making him go through with this plan. for using him etc etc, just so good. iris tearing up and saying she didn't mean to upset her best friend. the whole thing!!! the resolution!!! the second fake-out, anywhere else would come off as bad, but here it is just sooo fun and very iris wildthyme in vibe, and its just!!! like!!! YAY!!!! the last part having hilary and roger be like "oh we're partners now!!! BUSINESS PARTNERS." like COME ON whyyy are we so afraid to go gay??? they are just insanely beloved to me and in my head they're living together happily, with their little nightclub and also the yoga place right beside it that hilary wanted. yes. i love them. also that adorable little exchange with hilary and iris, h: "like mother and son :3" i: "i'll settle for big sis, thank you!" like. yes. they're siblings your honour. :3 i love hilary (and roger) wayyy too much, like, genuinely one of my favourite one-off / side characters ever. the only problem with this audio is the homophobic undertone, otherwise it is just so so good!!!! in my head they live w/o the homophobic undertone. like it genuinely has SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!! mwah mwah. love them.

so, that's it. of course i haven't covered every iris audio story here, mostly owing to the fact that i have not given a recent re-listen to the fifth season of iris audios (aka wildthyme reloaded) or the last one of the fourth season, a lift in time. irl things happened, and unfortunately i've forgotten most of the events of these due to my memory issues, so i can't provide a fair opinion. sorry, iris. i really should re-listen someday... captain turner and iris make me way too emotional, really. anyway, that's it! if anyone wants to add anything (about the episodes i haven't mentioned, or their own opinions about the ones i have, they are, of course, free too. any questions will also be taken! i really really love iris, and would love to answer anything!!!)

anyway, that's all for now. this is like the third time i've said this lol, but i feel a proper farewell should be given. thanks for reading, if you made it here. bye-bye!

[footnotes! ** being iris and panda in Muse of Fire, where panda says that he doesn't actually want to fuck with history and put the great artists like picasso and dali and such out of their jobs, but iris told him to. and if anything he trusts her, but he's worried for her cause he can't see why she's doing this. and it's so so good, and maybe i'll make a post about this one day, but their DYNAMIC!!! mwah mwah. seven uses this concern to get panda to work for it against iris btw. mwah.]

Top 5 Iris Wildthyme Audios

>:3

Looking For A Friend: give me iris and panda and i will go insane. also paul magrs wrote this. also also iris isn't having a good time i love when her mental illnesses show. she's Insane here and i LOVE HER. unfortunately i have not given a recent relisten to this so i can't rant in-depth like w the others

Iris At The Oche AND ALSO* Whatever Happened To Iris Wildthyme?: (a) INSANELY fun iris story which feels a bit like Return Of Doctor Mysterio to me (it's the, the mc-takes-the-seat-of-mentor, while one-off Special Guy / Chosen One is main for the plot shit.) it is just SO fun. iris interrupts darts competition for fun. plays for fun. creates chaos. i adore her. oh and brenda soobie (aka shirley bassey's iris) mention!!! ADORE how whacky the plot is. also my discord status is a line from this audio ("Wildthyme's Law, Rule Number One: if at first it doesn't work, WHACK IT!" and then i imagine iris kicking the everloving shit out of the transmat with her knee-length bright pink heeled boots :3 ) it's just VERY fun, and VERY iris. oh, and ofc, the "you'll feel the wrath of Wildthyme!!!" line, which is just SO beloved. because surface-level, iris is completely bullshitting, but i know her and if let, she would bullshit up something that truly showed Monster of the Week (hilariously fun concept for them btw) the wrath of Wildthyme (as seen in "The Unholy Ghost, first story of the second Iris anthology) hehehe !!! i Love it :3 (b) LOTUS EATER MACHINE TROPE BABEY!!! i looove it i love them so so much. live in your Best Dream Life but it's incomplete without your best pal and you start fucking hallucinating them or whatever. oh and also Plot Shit, love how it follows from Midwinter Murders. oh and hilary mention!!! i love hilary. it's tropey but i love it. OH and that mention of "men and women falling at [iris'] feet"... like To Me iris is VERY inextricably queer, both literally and narratively (as, like, an allegory for queerness/queer people) and i LOVE when that is shown??? so so much.

Iris Wildthyme and the Sound of Fear: it has iris ft her almost-husband who she abandoned at the altar and subsequently ruined the life of. and he runs a radio for old music. i love it. it shows off iris' attachment issues so fucking well (she HAS to save the multiverse after all, no time for serious attachment IS WHAT SHE SAYS AND I LOVE HER) and the horrible consequences it has on others. and she even carries around a MALLET in her purse!!! iris smashing that Important Chip or whatever without thinking much about it and then later actually needing it and having to rebuild it was SO iris<3 and the ending!!! almost-husband and assistant who turned good at the last moment DYING and iris going "we are going to have the best send-off the universe's ever seen!" is. wow. i think this was the definitive moment i completely and utterly fell in love with katy manning's iris (first moment being her first LINE in the audios. her fucking ENTRY my beloved.) because, like, obv she's going to pretend everything's alright while going "oh yeah this send off is def me dealing w it lol, don't you worry! ;P" i just love her. like, she doesn't deal with shit. she avoids it all so bad, and she is definitely not going to be properly mentally Present at the send-off, and she'll ignore this like all her other problems, but pretend she has Dealt With It. beloved. and panda!!! all the panda moments my BELOVED. just- excellent story. it's all so good and very formative in my mind for Iris.

Wildthyme at Large AND ALSO* Iris Wildthyme and the Land of Wonder: excellent iris stories by paul magrs. unfortunately i have lost my energy typing so these will be short. (a) AMAZING iris introduction, immediately fell in love with her from her fucking ENTRY itself. she fucks around w robin hood. tom is there and very Tom. panda is also there! iris is just SO iris, and everything's amazing. the plot is very iris wildthyme, and i love it. (b) wonderland time!!!! fuck yeah:3 we have miaow. we have in-the-formula-of-a-three-era-serial (with iris and panda playing obvious parts, of the doctor and the brigadier. ofc, we can't get fully accurate characterisation like this, but it's still fun even though they're not fully themselves.) we have WONDERLAND. we have iris THROWING A TANTRUM when that one being was killed (it was harmless!!!) And that's such a moment for her. i think she hoped to do something as a last-resort to get them to feel bad for killing it with that tantrum, but it didn't even fucking work. paul magrs writing pacifist katy manning's iris my BELOVED. such a character moment for her<3 EVERYTHING in wonderland, holy FUCK! i LOVE IT... it's sooo iris wildthyme, in all the ways i adore. oh, and iris keeping the feasibility generator!!! and the WAY in which it happened, panda making the call while iris (who, let's be honest, is already having a tough time of morality and decisions) is conflicted... besties!!! i LOVE their dynamic (and also how it flips sometimes**)

Iris Wildthyme and the Panda Invasion: it's amazing. and NOT for the sean carlsen being there, which is probably what it's most famous for. what I love it for, is. well. a lot of things really. the fact that the tvm is JUST happening off-screen, and we can catch the beginning of news reports featured there. it's 1999, babey, san fran! and the whole- whole plot, is just delicious. the last story (The Two Irises) mentioned the 133rd law of time being "don't spill spirits into the time vortex." beloved miss wildthyme accidentally spills spirits into the time vortex and opens up a fucking multidimensional rift, from where evil versions of her best friend appear hell-bent on conquering the world. i love it. panda's interactions with lionel pandau, i LOVE. time to meet the evil version of yourself!!! <3 lol and the LAST SCENE, panda beginning to monologue before going the equivalent of "tf am i doing, i don't have time to Monologue," and SACRIFICING HIMSELF TO SEAL UP THE VORTEX!!! Beloved. ohhhhh so beloved. oh, and the fake-out with george (strangeaways. grace holloway fill-in lmao) seeming to drive the helicopter right into the vortex, after which it's revealed that he jumped out like a coward. :3 Oh, and iris is SO iris here!!! mwah mwah.

now for the footnotes: * the "AND ALSO" is because I genuinely have way too many stories to talk about, so i cheated and made some time for positions on the list. :P in fact, there's a LOT more iris audios i absolutely need to mention, but i will do so in reblog as that's not what you asked, anon. (also, the ** will be in that rb.)

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[morporkian-cryptid]

Today in "Elliott's Niche AF AUs": one (1) person asked me about this, sooooo...

Lupin III Discworld AU crossover headcanon pile thingy!!!

For those who don't know: Discworld is a flat world held on the back of four giant elephants on top of a giant turtle, floating through space. That world has magic, as well as trolls, dwarves, goblins etc... but in a way that's meant to subvert typical fantasy tropes.

Ankh-Morpork, the biggest city on the Disc, is a hotbed of crime, innovations, and innovations in crime. It is run by a council of guilds, and by a Patrician (a lifelong tyrant; he's elected by the guilds but he has the final say in everything). Notorious for having an Assassins', Thieves', Beggars', and Seamstresses' (sex workers) Guilds. Also notorious for its Watch (the police), which is actually surprisingly good at solving crimes. It's also the biggest immigration destination on the Disc.

Character backstories/situations:

Lupin : half-quirmian-half-agatean (Quirm being the DW equivalent of France), grew up in the Agatean Empire (DW equivalent of China/East Asia). He moved to Ankh-Morpork to follow Fujiko, and/or to escape Zenigata. He’s an illegal thief (meaning he's not registered with the Thieves' Guild), and his favourite hobby (besides just stealing in general) is screwing with the Guild. Commander Vimes, the head of the Watch, is supposed to catch him (or at least help Zenigata catch him), but he's secretly rooting for him because he dislikes the Guild slightly more than he dislikes Lupin.

Jigen : son of a couple of Agatean immigrants in Ankh-Morpork, grew up as a street urchin in the Shades (the most crime-ridden neighborhood of the notoriously crime-ridden Ankh-Morpork). He joined the Assassins’ Guild later in his life as a (mostly self-taught) sharpshooter, with a talent that outshone that of the Guild's best students. He later quit the Guild after he met Lupin (possibly had a contract to kill Lupin, and decided “screw this I’m going with him”). He can use any kind of shooting weapons, but favors crossbows. He’s tried stealing and using the gonne (DW's first and only firearm); it didn't go well. He somehow managed to learn one single spell from the wizards, the fireball, by becoming pals with Arcchancelor Ridcully (wizard, head of the Unseen University, and famous for his unfortunate passion for crossbow shooting).

Goemon : agatean immigrant/fugitive, master swordsman. He left Agatea because Fujiko stole his Zantetsuken and fled to Ankh-Morpork, so Goemon had to follow her to retrieve his sword. He then met Lupin and Jigen and decided to stick around. The Zantetsuken is a talking sword, and its personality is basically the embodiment of Bushido. It's extremely annoying (like all talking swords), but Goemon loves it. (it was probably his only friend back in Agatea)

Fujiko : agatean immigrant/fugitive. Ran away from the Agatean Empire chased by Goemon. She joined the Thieves’ Guild, but everyone confuses her for a seamstress because her technique usually involves seduction. She tried it on Vetinari once. It failed spectacularly.

Zenigata : agatean immigrant, part of the Empire’s police force, who came to Ankh-Morpork chasing Lupin. He only brought his assistant Yata with him, and has to cooperate with the Watch to have resources to catch Lupin. Vimes doesn’t particularly like him, but he’s good at his work so he can’t say anything (they're both too stubborn to get along).

Bonus:

Yata: Zenigata’s assistant, came to Ankh-Morpork with him, rapidly became great friends with Rufus Drumknott (the Head Secretary of the Patrician, Lord Vetinari). He has a bad influence on Drumknott. He also befriended Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson, but then again Carrot befriends everyone.

Ami: She's a clacks operator. Clacks are basically the DW equivalent of telegraph. There's a group of clacks hackers called the GNU, so she might have joined them.

Albert: He's part of the Patrician's Dark Clerks (they're the secret services of Ankh-Morpork)

Rebecca: She's from Quirm. That’s all I have about her for now. (Quirm's the equivalent of France, but in the french translation it was made into an equivalent of Italy)

Random-Ass Headcanons

Lupin gets along like a house on fire with Moist von Lipwig (former conman and current postmaster, notorious adrenaline junkie), both figuratively and literally. Lupin and Lipwig sometimes team up on heists and rely on each other’s help, when they’re not busy competing against each other because Lupin keeps daring Lipwig to thieving competitions.

One of the contests’ goal is to steal Vetinari’s manuscript, The Servant. Fujiko wins. She wasn’t even in the race.

///

Fujiko quickly became friends with Adora-Belle Dearheart (Moist von Lipwig's rather explosive girlfriend), they get together every now and then to trash-talk their respective boyfriends.

///

For some reason everyone thinks Lupin is a werewolf. (it’s actually Jigen)

(maybe. I haven't yet decided whether or not he is. That would be a very good source of angst, considering what most werewolves are like, and also a very good source of domestic fluff if the whole gang has to adapt to the moon cycle and Jigen's transformations. Idk. Might be fun.)

///

Fujiko owns a horse golem (a gift from Adora-Belle or something she stole, we may never know). The Gang also owns a carriage, modified with a spell so it will drive faster, and they drive it completely carelessly. It has been destroyed and rebuilt countless times. (actually a bunch of spells, Lupin probably found a way to blackmail Ridcully so he could mod the shit out of his carriage. Or they rely on Jigen’s friendship with Ridcully)

///

Lupin uses swamp dragons as firearms (dialogue courtesy of @marquise-de-clarabas: Jigen: You stole a dragon??? Lupin: I didn’t steal him! He’s his own person and can make decisions himself! Dragon: I wanna steal). He has an alias and disguise entirely dedicated to visiting the Sunshine Sanctuary For Sick Dragons, and somehow became friends with Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes (Commander Vimes' wife, and the greatest expert on swamp dragons in the city, probably on the Disc). Vimes doesn't know about it, and Lupin finds the whole situation hilarious. He constantly makes jokes about how he’s playing with fire.

///

The Thieves’ Guild and the Watch are competing to catch the Gang, but secretly Vimes is rooting for the Gang (the Guild just hates them). That said, Vimes also hates Lupin (only slightly less than he dislikes the Guild), because he's always a little shit whenever he gets put in jail, and then he immediately breaks out.

///

Rincewind (famously bad wizard with a shit luck and a tendency to run from problems) once got arrested by Zenigata, because he got startled by him yelling LUPAAAAAAAAAN! and started running for the hills, making Zenigata believe he was Lupin in disguise. Rincewind is terrified of Zenigata.

///

Zenigata is actively trying to stop the Thieves' Guild from catching Lupin and Co, both because he wants to catch them himself, and because he knows what the Guild does to illegal thieves and he doesn’t want it to happen to Lupin.

///

Lupin stole Ridcully’s hat (custom wizard hat with a bunch of pockets, drawers, a crossbow, and a tiny flask of alcohol) as a gift for Jigen’s birthday. He also stole Lipwig’s hat (golden cap with dove wings), after which Adora claimed she didn’t recognize Moist (dialogue courtesy of @marquise-de-clarabas: Moist: C’mon babe, it’s me, your boyfriend! Adora, knowing full well who he is: I have never met this man in my entire life). He also raided the Assassins' Guild's armory/museum to get a birthday gift for Goemon.

///

About Jigen and the gonne (spoilers for Men at Arms) : basically, the gonne being such a dangerous and destructive weapon compared to crossbows, it has a nigh-magical attraction on people, and awakens and strengthens whatever lust for power, vengeance, blood etc they have. It basically controls its user and feeds on their convictions, addictions, wants, etc. The only person known to have resisted it is Vimes (because he's a stubborn mofo with a sense of morals you could bend iron on), and even he came damn near to losing his mind. (And Carrot, because... he's Carrot.)

Assuming the gonne didn't get destroyed in this AU: after they steal it, Lupin tries to use it, gets completely possessed/cursed (again) and accidentally tries to murder his friends (again), prompting Jigen to take it from him. Jigen then gets possessed as well, and they start fighting for the gonne, until Goemon just walks in, takes it out of their hands and takes it away. Goemon's completely unaffected by the gonne because 1) of his ascetic training and 2) "it is a filthy morporkian artifact and cannot compare to the noble art of the sword."

///

Zenigata often teams up with Angua (resident werewolf of the Watch), they get along very well. The Gang is very easy to track, they smell like a tobacco factory that has caught on fire.

///

Yata and Drumknott (Patrician's head secretary, and confidante, sort of) get together after office hours, and argue about whose boss is the best (because as we all know they both have a crush on respective bosses). One day Drumknott accidentally calls Vetinari “Sempai” after he heard Yata call Zenigata that all the time.

///

Lupin follows Lipwig’s example and steals all of Yata’s pencils every time he visits the Pseudopolis Yard (the Watch's HQ). Drumknott is fuming when Yata tells him about it.

///

Leonardo Da Quirm is butt-naked, because Part 4.

///

Something with vampires, probably.

///

tagging @carriagelamp and @mad-whoman-with-a-book00 because I know you may be potentially interested in this AU ^^

[weakforarwen]

The Changeling

Watching this episode at the same time as I’m finishing season 5 is like a breath of fresh air. The difference between the seasons! It’s like day and night.

Arthur is warm and cute and a real character in this episode! Gwen is her shy yet confident, nonconforming yet realistic, awkward yet graceful, self, I love her. And Arwen is so good this episode! Their chemistry is great, and their scenes are varied - it’s not just Gwen telling Arthur she believes in him, or, worse, standing by his side like decoration. Bradley actually has more than a few facial expressions here! When he realizes he’ll have to marry Elena, his eyes shine with tears and he looks so sad... it’s so good. But I also love his awkwardness in a previous scene, when Arthur’s like “Dw, I won’t get married” and Gwen’s like “Who says I was worried?”. The scene where Arthur skips up the stairs as Gwen is coming down is super cute too - the banter, their smiles! Compared to season 5, it’s like someone painted them in bright colors. Ah, this is the Arwen I love.

The episode is great. Grunhilda is hilarious. The actress, Miriam Margolyes, is so adorable and good, honestly. What a treasure. They were lucky to have her for one episode. Poor Gaius had to take one for the team though. I loved seeing him so flustered.

I loved Elena too. But I didn’t like that human Elena wasn’t as clumsy and unlady-like. The moment the fairy spirit was expelled out of her, she became a “proper” princess and that was disappointing. She was lovely when she tripped and snorted. Still, her parting words to Arthur were amazing “Let me know when you want me to beat you at horse riding again”, or something like that. Arthur’s face was priceless. Arthur’s reactions to the princess were on point the entire episode. 

I loved everything about the episode tbh. Even Uther was funny. He was so excited for his friend’s visit and got so awkward trying to tell Arthur he was to marry Elena lmao. But he went back to being his asshole self soon enough.

Elena should be glad her father clearly loves her and puts her first. She and Arthur could’ve been great friends! She’d get along so well with Merlin and Gwen too!

There’s something incredibly satisfying about watching this episode knowing Arthur will marry Gwen despite everything and be so happy with her. Uther told Arthur a King can’t marry for love, and I was like “Just you wait and see. You’ll be rolling in your grave”. And Morgana looked so gleeful and smug when she pretended to be on Gwen’s side, but her and Arthur simply couldn’t be... Laugh all you want, you’ll never be Queen, bitch. Seeing Arthur call off a wedding for the first time was so funny. Dude is a pro at calling off weddings, even the first one with Gwen :/ 

Arthur can’t marry for love, you say? Just you watch. He’ll marry no one but Guinevere. He’s not Uther. Arthur might find it difficult to shake off his father’s hold on him, but when it comes to Gwen, he will not take no for an answer. As close as he came to marrying other women or calling it quits with Gwen, he just couldn’t. It’s her or nothing, and I find that so relatable. 

I really relate to this side of Arthur. I’m not good at rebelling either, at expressing my thoughts and standing up for myself - I don’t like displeasing people or having them mad at me - but I can’t get talked into something I really don’t wanna do. I’ll drag my feet the whole time til I get my way. But Arthur’s not quite like me. He gives in quite easily to the demands of others, but once he thinks it through and gains confidence in himself, he stands up for his beliefs. Especially if it concerns Gwen. 

In your face, Uther. I know how miserable Arthur’s marriage made you. You even tried to kill Gwen from beyond the grave. I guess if you actually knew your son, you’d have seen he wasn’t under any spell in season 3.

[kageyamas-love]

hi! can i request some fluff with kageyama? the idea is kageyama have a childhood friend crush and she likes him back, how they confess to each other?

more than friends?

kageyama x reader

a/n: YESS i love this:)) i decided to give this my own little twist so i hope this is alright:) btw this is going to be a fem reader! also this took ages i’m sorry i had so much writers block

warnings: a hint of angst. only for like 3 seconds tho dw:)) and a bit of swearing.

-

you’d always been kageyama’s friend.

ever since the day that you’d moved next door to him. he and his grandpa had introduced themselves by bringing over a dinner, and instantly the two of you were inseperable. the volleyball play dates, various sleepovers at least twice a month. even telling eachother your biggest secrets.

the feelings he’d grown for you grew stronger as the years went on. however, it’d also take years for him to finally realize that these were romantic.

the very first time he confronted these feelings was in the third grade. your crush on one of the popular boys in his class angered him. what was so good about this boy anyway? it especially enraged him when you came running to him at the end of recess, multiple tears streaming down your face as you told him the news that he’d rejected you. he concluded that he’d only cared because you were his best friend, right?

the second time was in middle school. he’d recently been given the name ‘king of the court’. he had also only recently understood the true definition behind the title. kageyama was noticing how his long-term teammates and friends started to distance themselves from him to avoid his sour attitude. everyone, except you. you’d meet up with him after his practice, bringing him a milk carton and a pork bun, greeting him with your usual smile. you’d walk home with him, and he’d always wonder why? why would you want to be friends with the tyrant king of the court? the boy who’d pushed everyone away? why did you stay?

it was during this time that he started acknowledging little things about you. the really small things. how you’d hum a certain tune depending on what you were doing. the way you would subtly bite your lip when something bothered you. the few freckles that dotted your face like a faint constellation. how witnessing your smile instantly made his day a million times better.

he didnt realize at these times, but he loved you.

one day, you surprised him at one of his volleyball matches. it’d been a few months that you both attended karasuno. you’d told him you couldn’t come, but really just wanted to surprise him.

you had let their managers, kyoko and yachi, know that you were surprising the setter. the former only smirked, and you had seated yourself next to yachi in the stands.

it didn’t take long for kageyama to notice you, considering you were the loudest one in there. and, when he did, the biggest blush bloomed on his face. suga noticed right away, a smug look on his face as he yelled, “kageyama! focus on the game, not your girlfriend!” leading the rest of the team to whip there heads in kageyama’s direction, many finding kageyama’s expression hilarious. “sh-she’s not my girlfriend!”

this was the incident that forced kageyama to wonder, what exactly were you to him? the comment suga made shouldn’t have bothered him this much if you were only friends, right?

you noticed kageyamas started to act strange around you. he seemed more closed off, and distant. when you tried to talk to him, he’d come up with an excuse to leave you. it wasnt that he was trying to offend you, it was just that he was scared that if you got too close to him, you could hear the hammering beat of his chest, or the scarlet coloured blush that coated his face when he saw your smiles.

being the oblivious boy he was, he had no idea how bad he was actually hurting you. who wouldn’t be hurt if the boy you loved was suddenly avoiding you like the plague?

it wasn’t until he asked you to copy your homework one day that he realized how bad he messed up.

he turned towards you, holding a nervous smile, avoiding eye contact. “hey f/n, can i copy your homework please?” to this, your response was to roll your eyes. “oh. so now you want to talk to me? why not go ask someone else,” and, if it was on purpose, right as he was about to retort, the bell rang, and you stormed out of the classroom, not even bothering to spare a glance to the disoriented boy. he simply sat there, trying to process what the hell just happened.

his first thought was to try and find you, but he was smart enough to realize maybe you didnt want to talk to him. so, plan b was to ask suga.

suga raised his eyebrow. “l/n’s mad at you?” kageyama nodded. the two were in the corner of the gym, whilst most of the other boys were busy practicing. the boy wanted to get back to practice, but he couldn’t focus unless he fixed things with you.

“well what happened?” kageyama then proceeded to explain what he knew. suga’s eyes widened at the realization. “you’re an idiot. obviously if you’ve been avoiding her she’s going to be upset with you.”

“well i can’t help it! every time i try to talk to her my heart beats so fast! i can’t even form words and i just sound stupid!” he defended. suga face palmed. “you need to tell her how you feel. or else you’re going to screw things up even more.” kageyama blinked, and suga groaned, having enough with the day’s share of first years. “kageyama, you like her.”

so now, here he was. knocking on your bedroom window at 8 in the evening. opening your curtains, you were startled to see kageyama there. you narrowed your eyes, before opening your window. “what?” you asked, the sass in your voice almost venomous. he took the opportunity to climb into your room. you quickly became flustered, realizing that this was the first time in a while that he’d actually been there.

he sat down on your bed, watching your floor. you crinkled your brows. “hello? are you just going to ignore me? again?” kageyama cringed, feeling the hurt in your voice as you sighed and sat down on your desk chair. you watched him, waited for him to speak. but he didn’t. “look, tobio, i don’t know what’s been going on with you, but you’ve been so different-“ “please if you just let me explain myself,” he interrupted you, rubbing his palms on his thighs. he suddenly felt very nervous. the pep talk he gave himself minutes before long forgotten. you silenced yourself, instead focusing on the boy.

he took a deep breath, his gaze now snapping towards you, trying his all to look at you in the eyes, only to look away again. “so basically- i wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings or anything but lately whenever i’m around you i just get really nervous and stuff- and suga said i liked you? and it makes sense but- but i thought it was weird because we’re best friends so you definitely would like me back- ugh! i don’t know” he stammered, hiding his face in his hands. he suddenly felt the your hands wrap around his wrists, before pulling them down, he was met with the widest smile he’d ever seen habituated on your face. “you like me?!” you cheered, and immediately kageyamas face reddened. “uh- wait did i really just say that?” he stuttered, before noticing your expression. “why are you smiling?! this isn’t funny-“ before he could finish, you interrupted him. “tobio! are you dumb?! i obviously like you back, dumbass.” he froze immediately, brows raising. “you do?” you nodded your head, and one of kageyama’s rare smiles showed. not the scary ones that he usually had plastered on his face, but a real, genuine one.

“sooo... wanna be my girlfriend?”

back to masterlist

[buckybarnesthehotshot]

vi: i hate you but tell the team (bucky barnes x reader)

i hate you but masterlist

summary: bucky and y/n can’t stand each other, but y/n needs help with her sister’s kids (enemies to lovers au)

word count: 1692

warnings: swearing, arguing, death, and this is not proofread

taglist is CLOSED

A/N: if ur the anon who requested a part 2 to no way, this is me letting u know it’s in progress dw :))

       “Aren’t you going to go after the other one?” Bucky questioned, staring at the door of the room where Ethan rushed into. y/n gave him a look, as though she too were contemplating if she should talk to Ethan or not, before shaking her head hesitantly and returning to her task at hand; getting Allie to keep her food in her mouth and off her hands.

       “With all due respect, Mister—wait, what’s your name again?” Olivia raised a brow as she tried to recall the same words her baby sister was yelling out again, “Mister Bucky, Ethan’s taking the news pretty hard and he’s stubborn. I don’t think he’d talk to Aunt y/n if she tried to,” Olivia exclaimed, eating a forkful of pancakes.

       “Well, maybe I can talk to him. Man-to-man, you know?” Bucky suggested jokingly. y/n gave him a stern look before shaking her head.

       “I’m not letting you talk to my nephew. Knowing you, you’d eradicate any chances I have of getting him to warm up to me so there is no way in hell you’re talking to him before I get to,” y/n chuckled.

       “You’re my teammate, how could you not trust me?” Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

       “Aren’t you the teammate who cracked an egg on my shoe right when I was about to leave for a mission?” y/n questioned, easily recalling the events of last month’s mission.

       That day, Bucky was I charge of making breakfast and when y/n tried moving past Bucky to grab a protein bar from a cabinet, but he wouldn’t let her pass through. Annoyed, she stomped on his toe so she could reach the cabinet. Bucky didn’t really appreciate having his toe stomped on so in retaliation, he tossed an egg onto y/n’s combat boots.

       “It was hilarious!” Bucky exclaimed in his defense.

       “The rookies were laughing at me!” y/n rolled her eyes before tossing a spoonful of Allie’s baby food at his hair.

       “You were their S.O! If they laughed at you, you probably didn’t lecture them well enough on the consequences of laughing at a superior officer,” Bucky pointed out, recalling the times when he had to train a few SHIELD agents who ended up laughing at his manbun. Can you believe the audacity of those rookies?

       “Oh, and you know how to handle a situation any better?” y/n scoffed.

       “As a matter of fact, yes. I made them run twenty laps around the compound,” Bucky smirked proudly.

       “Oh? What were they laughing at you for? Being older than the exhibits at the Smithsonian?” y/n giggled.

       “No. They made fun of my hair,” Bucky frowned, running a hand through his dark brown locks. It was then, y/n broke out it a fit of heavy laughter.

       “God, I forgot you were worse than Thor when it comes to your hair obsession!” she exclaimed, recalling that time he got mad at her for borrowing his conditioner without his permission.

       “At least my hair doesn’t eat the hands of HYDRA agents,” Bucky shook his head. On a mission, one of the HYDRA agents y/n fought made an attempt to drag her by her hair. It did not end well when he realized his gloved hand was stuck in the endless jungle of knots known as y/n’s hair. Not once has Bucky even seen her run a brush through her hair in the compound!

       “Man, that glove was worse than bubble gum,” y/ frowned. The agent’s hand was stuck in her hair so she had to sit next to him on the ride back long enough for Doctor Cho to come up with the best way to remove his hand from her hair. Even after then, y/n still didn’t brush her hair before or after missions.

       “I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you around,” Bucky waved off, grabbing his keys from the countertop before walking out the door.

       “I don’t think you will!” y/n joked out half-heartedly. God, taking care of four kids was more exhausting than taking down a whole HYDRA base. At least villains didn’t make a mess at her apartment like Allie and Jackson did.

       “Oh, so you’re a house aunt now?” Bucky stopped in his steps, leaning against the doorway.

       “I guess. Tell Sam not to call me onto missions if it’s not an emergency, please? Also, if you could explain this clusterf—” y/n stopped herself before she could swear in front of the kids, “—mess to the rest of the team, that would be great,” y/n smiled before feeding Allie her last spoon of baby food.

       “I can’t promise I won’t tell him you kidnapped the kids, though,” Bucky grinned before shutting the door and running down the hall, probably disrupting the residents. Everybody working and living on the compound knew y/n and Bucky would chase each other around the compound when one said something the other didn’t exactly appreciate.

       Which is why it shocked him when she never chased after him that day. Well, she was a busy woman, he shrugged it off and headed down the elevator.

       He drove his motorcycle to where the van was, adjusted the van seats, and slowly lifted his motorcycle in the van. It probably would have been more convenient for him if he’d just asked y/n to drive the van back to the compound rather than him having to haul his motorcycle into the van.

       When he was sure his motorcycle was safely placed in the van, Bucky got in the driver’s seat and drove to the compound; ready to tell Sam about his discovery.

       He parked the van, pulled his motorcycle out, parked that too, and headed into the main lounging area of the compound where he found Sam, Wanda, Clint, Rhodey, and Peter gathered around the TV. The moment the elevator dinged, letting his presence be known, all heads turned to him as though to ask where he’d been…or why he had baby food in his hair.

       “y/n has kids,” Bucky explained quickly, plopping down on the couch between Peter and Sam.

       “y/n? Kids? That’s funny, tell another one,” Wanda chuckled, popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth as her gaze was still fixated on the screen. At this point, she was used to having Bucky and y/n make up rumors about each other and she could not trust a word one would say about the other.

       “Wait, let me rephrase that. Sam, y/n told you she was taking a break because of a family emergency, right?” Bucky questioned, looking expectantly at Sam.

       “Well, yes, but I don’t see how that means y/n has ki—” Sam shook his head only to get interrupted by Bucky shushing him.

       “That family emergency was her sister died a few days ago and y/n got custody of four kids! Look, I know this isn’t easy to believe and shit, but y/n’s the legal guardian of two teenagers and two kids!” Bucky exclaimed, as if he himself could not believe what he’d just witnessed half an hour prior to that.

       “I’m pretty sure y/n didn’t take a break just so you could make up a rumor about her,” Wanda chuckled, shaking her head.

       “That’s the thing! They had a fight over breakfast and y/n was trying to make the little boy stop crying and then the baby started crying so I went over there to pick her up and god, I thought I killed the kid, but I didn’t. Then, she looked up at me with those big e/c eyes while screaming my name. God, that kid was adorable,” Bucky rambled on as though falling into a trance as he remembered the feeling of having someone so innocent look up at him with an emotion that wasn’t fear for once.

       “Assuming this actually happened, how the fuck did you find y/n? Didn’t she block any location tracking on her when we found her at that cooking class?” Clint questioned, raising a brow in disbelief.

       “I made FRIDAY look for my van and it was at y/n’s apartment place. She only let me in because she thought I was the gelato guy,” Bucky chuckled, shaking his head, “God, she looked so tired.”

       “Is there anything else y/n wanted to let us know? She promised we were going to watch all the Star Wars movies next week,” Peter frowned, hitching his feet up onto the table.

       “I’m pretty sure y/n has better things to worry about than a Star Wars marathon,” Sam shook his head in dismissal.

       “She did mention the fact that she’s still willing to go on missions as long as they’re important ones. Like some really ‘life-threatening where a lot of people could die’ type of shit,” Bucky explained with a shrug.

        “I still had no idea y/n had an apartment. I thought she lived on-base when I first met her,” Clint chuckled, shaking his head.

       “Am I the only other one here who’s been to her place?” Wanda’s brows furrowed in confusion.

       “Wait, you’ve been to her place? She told me she had some underground bunker she lives in because she was preparing for the zombie apocalypse and I kind of assumed that was a joke and she just lived here,” Peter shot up from his seat, staring at Wanda in disbelief.

       “Oh yeah, that too. I’ve been to both places. I even have a room in the bunker,” Wanda winked as Peter’s jaw dropped. He thought y/n was joking when she mentioned the underground bunker. I mean seriously, would you take someone seriously if they told you they had an underground bunker beneath central park?

       “Well, I guess if the compound gets compromised during an apocalypse, we know who to follow,” Clint broke out in a fit of laughter. After that, Bucky kind of just blanked out, not really knowing what else to say. It wasn’t as if he knew much about y/n besides the basics and what he’d discovered earlier.

       He leaned back into his chair before stealing Peter’s bucket of popcorn and watching whatever the Avengers decided they wanted to watch that afternoon, ignoring all the teenager’s complaints.

i hate you but taglist: @sarcastic-britt / @kmuir1 / @shower-me-with-roses / @justab-eautifulmess / @thomasthetankson / @x-abi-sharp-x / @intovert-gone-wild / @brittanymcsharry / @leaving-the-past-behind / @xoxabs88xox / @mylifeiscrazy0423 / @howliebucky / @i-cry-so-much​ / @witchything​ /   @naimalove143​ / @simplybarnes​ / @kseniiafirebrace​ / @buckybarnesishot310​ / @witchymarvelspacecase​ /

Forever tags: @spatium-viatorem​​​​ / @sxphiiwrld​​​​ / @strangersstranger​​​​ / @nerdy-bookworm-1998​​​ / @cutie1365​​​ / @valeriiaaass​​ / @adorkably​​ / @whatinthyworld​​ /

MARVEL TAGLIST: @captainamerica-is-bae​​​

BUCKY TAGLIST: @missmidnightxo​​​ / @tinymalscoffee​​ / @howliebucky​​ /

[jessconsumesmedia]

I’m like literally sobbing the finale is so good I’m about to watch it again and I just finished it.

💖Spoilers💖

DAD!!! (It was even better that I thought it would be I don’t know if I’ll ever get back from this)

It is a very long ep so I don’t know if I can give all my thoughts but I can put a few!!

1. Funzo’s has some creepy animatronics. Also Blue Sebastian the crab

2. Gyro and Boyd are going to kill me with cuteness

3. Manny has no right to be so amazing (jk yea he does)

4. Lena helps her sis win with magic (poor Dewey 🤣)

5. I love Jane

6. Scroogey really is good and ha your words in Last Crash of the Sunchaser can’t hurt me anymore (not really that episode breaks me every time he says “You are not family”)

7. WHO WOULDNT SHOW UP TO WEBBYS PARTY!?!?

8. Gladstone is makin bank$$$

9. Glad to see Della is also bad at ski ball 🤣🤣

10. Daisy is good and Donald loves her imma cry

11. Della almost kills Daisy about two seconds after she was praising her 🤣🤣

12. Feathry you dummy shut yo dang mouth (I also love Feathry)

13. Feathry saying “just the two of you” makes me think of the song “just the two of us and now I can’t get it out of my head.

14.awe awkward family drama (at this point I was basically sobbing over two things, the show is over and Donald deserves his time but awe Della just got him back)

15.Good lord I’m only like a minute into the episode I need to calm down (maybe I’ll just “Dew” a few different posts) ha I’m hilarious clearly

16. Yes Fenton we been knew. Also we love drake and Lp being supportive friends. Also Lp was scarily close

17. “Absentee avenger” Gizmoduck. Gotta write the full name

18. Lp really wanted the cake

19. “Aweee I missed your Scroogian alliterations.” How does Tennent say all them words?!?

20. MORE PEPPER. She’s so perfect. Even if she is technically a bad guy. Love that she’s main crew.

21. Jose and Panchito are perfect they should be in every show made from here on out because I said so

22. “No maniacal laughter”

23. Gizmo calling DW “Wingy” made me cry during the table read and then again in the ep

24. I’m sorry this is really long but I’m still going (I’ll try to condense my thoughts)

25. Petty Della cracks me up for some reason

26. Me too Lp, or maybe I just need to work out more

27. Dad Donald has a large space in my heart

28. Lena’s very cool magic powers are cooler than Gyro (I’m sorry I love Gyro) also for a mad scientist he’s really not up to the technology 🤣

29. I thought May and June were Webby clones a while ago but I didn’t even think about what Webby was. Plot twist bout made me cry. Who am I kidding I was already crying

30. Awe Beakly really does just want to keep Webby safe

31. Even if that includes some lies

32. It’s the finale of Ottoman Empire too. I’m crying about two shows for some reason.

33. Lp draws good boxes

34. Evil scientist Gyro

35. Huey almost dies from Beakly’s death stare after he calls her Bentina

36. Scrooge has a long history of beakly being mad at him and that makes me laugh

37. TEAM SCIENCE FAMILY

38. I paused and looked at that board for so long. Did Webby steal that locket picture of Goldie from Scrooge? Who are the people Webby thought were her parents? Lena was very ready to fight when June was cutting the strings.

39. Della opens up and made me cry more. “Daisy’s my adventure” also made me cry. And “is it 1996” cracked me up

40. HE GOT THE ORIGINAL DONALD OUTFIT. (And Della calls him cheap😂😂)

41. Webby is still a very bad liar

42. Awe Webby is so trusting and I love her.

43. Scrooge sprang for a new tea bag just to get answers and then gets knocked out. He’s got a lot going on in like a day.

44. Beakly loves her house plant

45. Did Beakly find out Webby was Scrooge’s after she saved her or did she just know the basics?

I’m only about 20 minutes in so I’m gonna stop here for now because this is probably super boring but I like putting my random thoughts down so there. I hope this was at least a little interesting. I’m gonna make another post of some drawings later (maybe) that I did while waiting to be able to watch the finale. And maybe tomorrow I’ll do another part of this and just do it in groups. idk though it depends. 💖💖

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS