#NOT TO DOCTOR WHO POST ON MAIN BUT SOMETIMES I LOVE HER SO MUCH

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Donna Noble really got in the TARDIS and on trip number ONE like ONLY the FIRST trip she was like we are going to change history to save a single family because that is how it should work so that is how it does and then on trip number TWO on the SECOND trip she was like we are going to destroy an entire culture of slavery because it is right I don't care if we're two people and then on the THIRD trip she was like I am going to be unbelievably brave to save my home and everyone I love and then on the FOURTH trip she was like no living breathing thinking creature is less than a person and how dare you try to dehumanise someone like that how dare you not give her a name and the list GOES ON this woman NEVER MISSED there goes one of the kindest bravest most constant women you might ever meet and she's a temp from Chiswick

[theshipden]

How would the main 6 react to finding out Mc has ptsd?

Cracks knuckles oh baby as someone with C-PTSD this is my JAM

Julien;

He listens to your explanation, never breaking eye contact. He understands, he’s a doctor, he talks you through it

When you’re having an attack, he’s quick to ground you and help you seek a good therapist

Protective asf, he will not let you do anything alone since it makes you nervous.

Learns every one of your triggers so he can prevent them, whether that’s stopping himself from doing it or someone else

Holds you and cries about what you’ve been through, promises to never let it happen again

Portia;

Post-traumatic- down-syndrome? (Tiktok reference)

Nah but she isn’t certain what that is or what it means, but she DOES read about it and teaches herself what it all entails

Asks julien for further knowledge and how to help

Asks if you need space, to talk, advice, or just her company

In the middle of your attacks, she rubs you. Whether it’s your hand, your back, carding her fingers through your hair, she’s anchoring you back to the ground again

Asks what you need from her when you’re anxious

“Reassurance? Quality time? A listening ear—a shoulder? I have two of those!”

Muriel;

He understands you more then anyone. And funny enough, your anxiety seems to go hand in hand with his own

You’re damn right people are scary!! And loud noises are overwhelming!! And you’re angry and scared and just want to feel safe!! Him too!!

He isn’t the best at staying grounded, honestly he’s still learning healthy coping mechanisms

But when he sees you struggling, he finds himself in the clearest state of mind. He listens, he’s nurturing, and very intuitive.

Smiles so soft and so warm when you calm down from an episode, never pushes you to talk

Sometimes, you panic together about the same thing. Something about seeing someone you love feel the same way as you do….feels like home. You’re not dramatic, you’re more in control then you originally thought, and you’re cared for. Just as you care for him, he cares for you

Nadia;

She’s very good at rationalizing your racing thoughts, using logic to soothe your panic when it seems to be becoming too much

Uses her hands to massage the tension out of your muscles and help you process and work through the feelings you’re having

Aromatherapy, 100%

Reserved a spa day for you, just you and her, no one else. She knows the company of the servants would make you mask

Probably offers to buy you an exotic animal just so you have someone at your side if she’s away when you spiral

Lucio;

This man probably tells you to calm down, not realizing that’s making it worse.

Blubbers an apology immediately after, stuttering wildly as he waves his arms frantically

“No! Don’t cry—-! Hey, darling, it’s alright! What’s happened? My love, can you look at me? Show me those gorgeous eyes, there you go, wonderful. Now, what’s gotten you so upset?”

Thinks someone’s responsible, fully plans on lynching them as soon as he’s figured out the culprit

If your trigger is an inanimate object, he WILL destroy it. And yell at the servants not to trigger you

Drapes his cape over you so you feel sheltered and calm, so you can hide if you don’t want to be seen but don’t want to be alone

Definitely glares at anyone who attempts to call you emotional or puts you down for a natural reaction to trauma

Showers you in compliments, covers the mirrors in little affirmations with lipstick

Asra;

He knew. He’s always known. Even before you did.

He’s very patient, extremely passive and cautious

He educates others on your behalf so you’re never in an unwanted situation or triggered on accident

Reminds you to take medicine, eat, drink water, etc

Asks the arcana to guide you and offer you wisdom and clarity

Constantly ensures you’re never in a night terror/flashback

Can immediately tell when your anxiety spikes, doesn’t even ask before he brings you into the shop in a controlled and familiar environment and asks to talk

Admires you and your courage, he tells you everyday how strong you are and how proud of you he is

[tigermousse]

Particles of reality: Obsession

genre: dark, yandere, otome, crime, supernatural, NSFW

Not all stories have happy endings…especially this one.

I have a feeling this visual novel has done some permanent damage to my mental health, but I'm not regretting reading it.

!Please note: This game is for mature audience only!

Particles of reality: obsession is dealing with very dark themes including gore, extreme violence, torture, sexual and mental abuse. It has graphic depiction of consensual and un-consensual sex (including sex between minors and sex between siblings). List of triggers for each path is enormous and it was pretty hard to read through some paths. There are options to hide some content, but even with "lower violence" filter it was gruesome enough. Like Monika, I hate the violence, but I was too interested in characters to skip everything.

Monica is studying medicine in college and working at the cafe Luna to pay her bills. She has two close friends and a bunch of phobias, since she is a traumatized young woman with a troubled past. Monika hoped to separate from her family by enrolling to a college. But now she's stuck on a dead-end job, feeling claustrophobic in a small crappy apartment, also failing her studies and doubting her choice to be a doctor.

This is the time when in her life appears a tall handsome man, who has a strange interest in her. But the story unraveled…

Particles of Reality is a macabre satire on dark romance, where relationship with violent people are romanticized, - and otome games, in which every character falls in love with a MC no matter how plain, or dull she is.

It is a splendid idea to show in visual novel that relationship with obsessive people can only cause you pain, but still overall it was a depressing experience for me. I can not recommend this game, but it has a highest rating from me, because it is unique and memorable. All the characters are either traumatized or just pleasurably insane.

You are warned from the beginning that there are no happy endings in this novel. In those few where main characters at least don't die, Monica is still can not be happy because she's feeling trapped.

It makes sense, because it shows that with the characters like these, who are obsessed (and sometimes possessed), there can be no happy ending. They're traumatized, violent and mentally unstable. It is said that in Obsession the characters are the worst possible versions of themselves.

After a while it is getting too frustrating that no matter what you do the game finds its way to punish you. The characters are making very stupid mistakes and decisions - and you can do nothing about it but watch. Also sometimes the game is forcing you to read a lot of information that you already learn from other routes. I can see why it was hard to avoid, but still it was too much unnecessary reading.

The structure of visual novel is unique - it has additional unlockable content for each character that helps to look further in their past or shows their point of view on the story. At some points the story is breaking the forth wall.

Nice touch that choices that doesn't affect the ending, are clearly marked.

Still after reading everything including the secret character routes, the story still has more questions then answers - and feels incomplete. The secret route was more confusing then revealing.

CHARACTERS

MC Monika Viotto (name changeable, but I don't see why someone would like to relate to this MC more, so I left it as it is)

My diagnosis: Post-traumatic stress disorder + Dependent personality disorder

For me, Monika is a bit annoying. She's is your our typical otome MC - she is kind, shy, not very smart with average looks (though I think that she looks pretty cute). Because she was abused and neglected at home since childhood, Monika developed some phobias like nyctophobia and claustrophobia.

She says that she hates violence, but in each route she's attracted to violent people - probably that is the route of all the problems. In some paths she even shows a violent streak that she probably has (probably that is why she resents violence - because she knows she can have it in her too). Her family is mafia and though she wants to get away from them so bad, the violence in her household probably couldn't left her intact. However usually Monika is absolutely oblivious to everything happening around her. Sometimes she can stand for herself, but these moments of clarity happen usually too late.

Who she is now is a result of her traumatized past, but also we can see that she's really passive and co-dependent since young age. She can't decide for herself (and when she is, she's deciding badly), she's not trying to learn something new, she doesn't understand her feelings and is not good with people. She's not good with anything really. Though she doesn't lack empathy and sincerely grieving loss of those who are close to her.

Sometimes she can be funny and snappy, but not often. She is more self-assured and interesting in some "what if" scenarios and in some branches in Brandon's route.

Love interests (SPOILER ALERT)

Which one do you have in mind?

None of the characters are mentally healthy. Some are aware of this fact, the others aren't. There is almost no romance, except maybe for the Sebastian route (which is my least favorite). There are some sex scenes though.

Each route starts differently and has slight time difference, but except for the Brandon's route, the circumstances in these are very similar.

Sebastian Dallarosa

My diagnosis: Narcissistic personality disorder (?) Also typical yandere

Sebastian is tall, rich and handsome. Probably smart too. He's meeting MC on the street, saving her life from a car accident, and then taking care for her when she is getting sick. But something is not right about him. Or is it?

He's in love with MC since they were children. It was love at first sight, and now he believes that Monika is his soulmate - and he wants her no matter what.

Dallarosa is a mafia family too, like Viotto, but several years ago Sebastian and his twin brother refused to take over the family business - and it seems that Sebastian put all his effort to get Monika Viotto, because it is the only thing that he wanted - ever.

Sebastian is probably the favorite character of the developer, because his route is longest, plus he's appearing in every other route and in most branches. He has the most CG's. And I really hate him. Either because he's triggering something from my past, or because he is so sure of himself. He is the only one with almost no regrets or remorse. He thinks that his "love" justifies everything he's doing. I hate how he doesn't give Monika a chance to decide for herself, how much he's suffocating her, how he manipulates her. He doesn't care at all what she thinks, for he has her image in his head for a long time, and he doesn't care what Monika is like for real. He shows in all the routes, and in each one he's madly in love with Monika.

When you start the game, Sebastian's route is the first you have to finish at least once, and for some time his route is pretty romantic. He says nice things to MC, dotting around her, telling her what she would like to hear. But when things unravel, he shows his true violent and/or manipulative self.

The best part of Sebastian's route was Alexander. He seems much more sane (Maybe that is because he doesn't has his own route yet)

Julian Andrei

My diagnosis: Dissociative identity disorder

Julian is working with Monika in a Cafe Luna. He seems rude at first, but otherwise he is funny and always ready to help a damsel in distress. Except he has a strange habit of vanishing for several days once a month. What does he hides?

In Julian's route Monika has a crush on him when they first meet, and in other routes it is other way around. Julian in his route is the most different from himself in other routes, except Brandon's DLC. Because in most routes he is just a friend and co-worker of Monika, and doesn't show his violent streak, also he's pretty weak and can't stand himself against other characters. However we know from his route that he should be experienced in killing people, so it is strange that he's always trying to rescue MC unprepared. (I guess it is one of frustrating features which lead MC to unavoidable bad ends).

Julian is in constant conflict with himself - because he has a split personality, which seems to have a mind of its own.

As for the core personality, and not the worst version of himself, I like Julian very much. He is funny, honest and noble in his own way - and trying to do his best. I don't mind his complaining and self-consciousness.

Quinn Deidre

My diagnosis: Borderline personality disorder

Quinn is gender-fluid non-binary person. And also they are the most normal character. They are a ball of sunshine. Funny, active, kind, caring, creative. But they're trying too hard to get attention that they are forgetting what is good for themselves. Quinn definitely have BPD, and it is pretty accurate portrait of this disorder. Given their traumatic past, it is not strange that Quinn has it. Their family is fundamentally religious and they always felt that they don't belong at home. So they're looking hard for the place where they belong.

Meeting Monika as a roommate, Quinn is falling in love with her non-judgemental attitude. But of course, they can't stand to her other suitors. (Brandon strangely accepts Quinn)

Quinn is really sweet. His bad ends are pretty sad, because they mostly end with him hurting himself.

Brandon Viotto (free DLC)

My diagnosis: Antisocial personality disorder (Psychopath)

Due to the themes of incest and underage sex (also extreme violence, but Steam is OK with it), Brandon's route is not accessible in the base game and can be downloaded as a free DLC (optionaly, because for some people this route can be too fucked up.)

Brandon's route is a history route: it begins when Monika was five, and all events in all branches are happening earlier than the beginning of Sebastian's, Julian's or Quinn's routes. You don't need to read through this route to finish the game and open secret character, but it is giving better view of Monika's personality in other routes, also after reading it, I hated Sebastian a tiny bit less.

Brandon is Monika's older brother. He's just a year older than she, but since the early childhood they were raised differently. Brandon was the favorite child, Mama's golden boy, he was given best teachers and was combat training to become the head of the family (Don). And Monika was neglected, harshly punished for all tiny mistakes, given little to no education. Most of the time their parents didn't pay any attention to her at all. Luciana Viotto is a powerful, cunning and cruel woman, and Antonio Viotto seems totally indifferent to everything that is happening in his family, until it becomes too late.

Things doesn't add up here - while Monika as a mafia princess was prepared to arranged marriage if nothing else, she probably had at least attend different social events to meet important people, but she didn't. Otherwise she would be just a disgrace of a mafia family (which she obviously become, when she went to a college, living in a worst district of a town and working for a minimal wedge)

Since tender age Brandon was trained to be a merciless killer. And while his first kills brought him tears and nightmares, later he started to enjoy killing and torturing people. Now he is hungry for power and control. And the only one he cares about is his sister. Monika.

Since they were children, Brandon always tried to defend Monika from their abusive mother. They grew very close, because they always had to depend onto each other and didn't have anyone else. Monika needed Brandon because he always came to her rescue and Brandon need his sister, because she appeals to what left of human in him. She is still his moral compass after years of killings.

When he was about 15 year of age, Brandon felt that he his feeling for Monika is not completely brotherly.

After some time of his doubts and regrets, they've became lovers, when Monika was still 14 y.o. They both knew that incest is wrong, depending on the branch, they're having more or less doubts about it.

In most scenarios revealed that when Monika was 16, she attended school, where she has met a boy and started dating him. But Brandon was furious and beat the guy so bad that he couldn't recover. Monica hasn't talked to Brandon since then, until she decided to go to college where she begins all other routes.

Brandon is the one who sees the best in Monika

I do not justify the incest, I've never understood it either. But given all the circumstances in this novel I think in Particles of Reality, Brandon is still the best choice for Monika. Maybe I'm prejudiced, because despite of everything , I liked him too much since demo. He's the only one who will never hurt her willingly, she can trust him completely and he's the one who accepts and understands her as she is.

The thing I like about Brandon the most is that he is the only one whose personality doesn't change a bit in all the routes and branches. I'm afraid that is because he's the least favorite boy for the developer, but still he doesn't pretend. Also he's the only one who is changing through his route - for worse, but still.

He is extremely violent, and doesn't hide that he is enjoying killing people, but it seems that he can have his doubts and regrets about everything that concerning Monika. (Nevertheless he still thought and done disgusting things)

He is also very smart, with a dark sense of humor, but I always felt that Monika can depend on him. With him she is safe, but he can go too far to secure her.

I can't rate any of the characters, since they're shown as the worst versions of themselves. As for their "core personality", I like Sebastian the least, because I can't find any of his personality outside of his obsession. As for secret character, his purpose in this novel seems only for breaking forth wall, so it is hard to say something about him for now.

Overall:

Visual: 4/5

Story: 4/5

Characters: 5/5

Romance: 2/5

Originality: 5/5

My Rating: 5/5

(I can't recommend it to anyone, since it is very dark and not for everyone, but also couldn't give it less than 5 stars, because I'm sure that this game has a powerful impact on every person who has read it)

You can get this visual novel by Arewar on Steam or on itch.io

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove and I felt like some public masochism so here we are!

Edit: Holy fuck this got long, putting it under a read-more.

How many works do you have on ao3?

258 although I orphaned 100 works back in 2020.

What's your total Ao3 word count?

Why. Why would you ask me this. Why would you do this to me.

4,578,245 - although I shudder to think how much it will have gone up by the end of the year.

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly 9-1-1, but I took a nosedive into Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves last year and still have one more fic I'm writing for it. I tend to have quick little detours into other fandoms, which I think is overall a good thing since it helps me flex my writing muscles with different characters and settings. I'm currently working on a fic that is from a show where the main characters are all constantly sassing each other and bickering, and it's pushed me into being witty and sharp with the dialogue and humor in a way that I don't think I have been in quite some time.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos:

Even Steel Blades Need Fire - that's right, a WITCHER fic. HA. You all weren't expecting that!

Leading with the Left - yeah yeah we all knew this one was coming.

Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) - I'm constantly surprised this little oneshot I wrote post-tsunami is so popular.

Footprints are More Easily Seen in the Snow - my first Witcher fic I ever wrote and might still actually be my favorite.

Sometimes a Hammer, Sometimes a Lockpick - another Witcher fic! I had a lot of fun with this one.

Do you respond to comments?

I do! I try to respond to every comment I get. I know not everyone can but given the anxiety I know readers have around giving comments I try to show how much every comment is appreciated by me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I do happy endings, overall, but every once in a while I decide to be evil, so it's a tie between the two fics that are about a character dying:

The Soft Goodbye - a Timeless fic that focuses on the idea that time travel, like being in space for a long time, wreaks havoc on your body.

Full Circle - a Doctor Who fic written years ago speculating about the Doctor gifting a dying Donna her memories back so they can say goodbye.

For those of you in the 9-1-1 fandom however, since I'm sure everyone's looking at those two fics going "wait what," the fic with the angstiest ending is:

I'm Not Breathing Unless I'm Giving You CPR - spoiler alert, but I end this fic on an angsty and purposefully ambiguous note. It's up to the reader to decide what sort of ending they get.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uh. All of them, I'd say? With the exception of the two MCD fics above, I deliver happy endings. However based on reader feedback, I think I'll go with...

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows Like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) - the amount of angst in this fic, especially the Bobby and Buck relationship, seems to hit readers extra hard and so the happy ending, especially Buck's reunion with his father figure, is extra joyful and cathartic.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have once in a blue moon gotten "flames," as we used to say. Writing fanfic since I was thirteen, I don't think it's possible to fully avoid a few cranky people with nothing better to do than go around and shit on people's beds. But I've been extraordinarily lucky in the love and kindness I've gotten from my readers.

Do you write smut?

Baby, it's what I'm known for. Honestly sometimes to my chagrin - I hope people enjoy my worldbuilding, characterization, and plots as well - but overall I have a lot of fun writing smut and I love reducing people to slack-jawed water-chugging babbles.

Also someone had to bring the monsterfucking around here so by golly I'm reporting for duty.

Craziest crossover?

I don't do crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! Someone stole my Budde Porn Star AU and turned it into a Rooster/Hangman from TG:M fic. Someone kindly alerted me and I was able to report it to Ao3. Truly a surreal experience.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Multiple times. It's deeply flattering and I really admire translators who put in the work to take something from one language and convey the same meanings, flow, and story in another. Translation is a genuine art form, if you ask me.

Have you co-written a fic before?

Yes! A few times, all with my beloved @extasiswings. We did one Timeless fic together whispers like poetry and we had such fun that when I started my first long, plot-ty Buddie fic I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) and panicked, I roped her into finishing it with me.

We also co-wrote Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me because I was in a bad writing slump and she graciously made everything better, and then A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (But Love is Undefinable) because she uno reverse'd me.

All time favorite ship?

I've been shipping for so long it's incredibly hard to pick just one, but I think given the sheer depth of my insanity, I have to say Buddie. I haven't had a ship grip me like this in... ever, actually. Honestly after being burned hard on some previous ships in my time, names redacted to protect the guilty (me), I didn't think it was possible to love a ship this much, and yet here I am.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish all of my WIPs. Once I start a fic I'm committed to finishing it. I do however have a couple fic ideas that I don't think I'll ever actually write.

What are your writing strengths?

Um. Smut, apparently. I also seem to do well with fusions; that is, taking one trope or setting and fusing it with another in a sort of plot mash-up. And people seem to really like my world building.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a hyper-sexual person who is very casual about sexual relationships and so sometimes I think as a result I have characters think with their cocks a bit too much and jump too quickly into sex, and sometimes there's more smut than plot. Run-on sentences, my beloved (and my editor's beloathed). I tend to write out-of-order and so sometimes little plot details can contradict, not be followed up on, or get lost in the shuffle.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't really write dialogue in another language in most of my fandoms, but in a few it's come up and I've approached it in different ways.

In Timeless, the character Garcia Flynn's first language is Croatian, so I would have him sometimes speak in it. In my dragon!Jaskier series, I was able to bastardize some of the Draconic from D&D (mixed with some Germanic root languages) for when he was cursing or communicating with his draconic family. In both cases, the other language was limited to only a line or two of dialogue, or perhaps a single word, so I wrote the dialogue in that language, and then had a translation guide at the bottom of the fic.

This tends to be my modus operandi, an exception being Xenk speaking Thayan, because I couldn't find any actual Thayan for the life of me, so I just describe how the phrase sounds or allude to him muttering something/swearing/etc. Since Ed, a former spy, also speaks Thayan, he can then inform the reader through his thought-process what the Thayan meant.

Occasionally, I will have two characters speaking in another language and simply italicize their words and have a line of description saying "they switch to French" or something similar, since I don't want readers to have to scroll up and down to understand an entire conversation.

In my original novels, however - the Horsemen quartet specifically - the characters communicate about fifty percent of the time through sign language. It's become the lingua franca, because noise alerts zombies and ASL is a silent language. In the books, I write the dialogue as I would English, and simply have the dialogue tag "she signed" instead of "she said."

As someone who speaks other languages but for whom English is their first, I'm not sure I get to really speak on how and when one should use other languages in one's predominantly-English fic in a predominantly-English-speaking fandom and online space. All I can say is that I listen to what others say in regards to what is most respectful and comfortable, and I don't have any personal preference in how a writer handles the use of secondary languages in their writing.

First fandom you wrote in?

I'm not sure which came first since they were right on top of each other, but Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Favorite fic you've written?

Well that's just mean. How dare you. I don't have one favorite fic, that's like asking me to choose a favorite child.

I will say I am particularly fond of In the Gray You are Golden. I banged it out in a day in some kind of fugue state and I do think it's one of my best works.

Someday when I am filthy rich I will commission someone to draw it as a comic, especially the reunion scene between Buck, Eddie, and Christopher.

Tagging, with no pressure:

@princessfbi @buckttommy @extasiswings @kitkatpancakestack @gracieryder (once again I typed your fucking old url like five times...)

aaaaaaand @givemeunicorns.

[euphraisette]

Modern les mis college au majors but I basically almost don’t care about canon:

Enjolras: law and polisci. Wants to go into politics but also holds the view that the modern political system is deeply broken and doesn’t want to contribute to it in it’s current state so maybe he’ll just be a public defender.

Grantaire: art. He doesn’t really care about it but he’s really, really fucking good at it and got into college on a full ride scholarship and his folks were really pressuring him to go to post secondary so he went. His professors are reaallllyyyy trying to get him to be more engaged because they think he could be great but he’s got his own stuff going on.

Combeferre: History with a minor in entomology. Moth combeferre has my heart till the day i die. He’s going to work a museum and really pushes for ecological preservation.

Courfeyrac: MUSICAL THEATRE COURF. He always gets the lead in all of the shows and is something of a local celebrity for his turn as link Larkin in hairspray. He’s getting a philosophy minor but has no plans to use it.

Jehan: classic lit + poetry, duh, but with a minor in botany or something. In another life they’d like to be a dancer and realistically they COULD do that now, but they decided to go with the safer option and wants to work in a library or maybe with combeferre at the museum after school.

Joly: again pretty obvious, he’s pre-med and his minor is history. He’s insanely passionate about making healthcare more accessible and might not go to med school proper and instead focus his efforts on the HR side of things (though he’d make a really good doctor).

Bossuet: elementary education or adolescent psychology!!! He really wants to work with/help kids, which is wonderful because kids naturally just love him, he’s funny and kind and easy to talk to and always keeps a little stash of candy and juice boxes on him when he works.

Feuilly: design. Maybe a minor in war history or religion. He’s pretty interested in knowing where he and his family came from but doesn’t really know how to utilize that career-wise, so he goes for design as his main thing because he’s pretty good at it. He’s only a part-time student and works construction.

Eponine: either psychology or criminology. Yeah i just think. Yeah. I’ve gone in depth about my ideas for how Eponine wants to use her life to be better than her parents and wants to understand why people are sometimes terrible and how to help their victims.

Marius: languages, mostly German, Latin, and English (and maybe Hebrew bc of my Jewish Marius hc). His minor is in music composition. He’s very much a romantic and loves the fine arts but he hasn’t unhitched his life from his grandfather’s ideals enough yet to dive into pursuing that full-time so he studies languages and might work as a translator.

Cosette: also law. She wanted to study it before she met enjolras but when they met he really encouraged her to pursue it and he’s a really big role model for her. Like him, she wants to be a public defender, because right before she went off to college valjean finally told her the full story of fantine and this really lit a fire under her and she wants to help people who the system has turned it’s back on. She’s minoring in theatre with courf.

Musichetta: chetta didn’t go to a traditional college, she went to cosmetology school and works at a salon and is the most sought-after stylist in town. Ideally she’d like to go back and get a bachelors in social justice or something but right now she’s happy where she is.

And Gavroche, well. He’s the best science student in his 6th grade class.

[darlingmisa]

Agents as your gf (Pt.3)

This took so long to get out I almost forgot about this little series but here is the final part <3 I can't believe this was the first thing I ever really posted on here >.<

wc: 903

Killjoy

She’s like a little giggly teenager allll the time. Absolutely loves pda and showing you off whenever and wherever she can. Drags you everywhere with her (not that you’re complaining) and always has her hand in yours, fingers laced together. She’s just happy to be around you at any time. 

Killjoy definitely doesn’t sleep much, if at all. You practically have to drag her away from her desk and into bed most nights. One thing that always works is promising hours of cuddles. She loves being chest to chest with you, feeling your soft breathing on her neck, and really just loves the feeling of you in her arms. 

At one point made a little bot to follow you around. Something small enough that you can keep it on you but strong enough to protect you if something goes wrong when she’s not around. She knows you can handle yourself just like any of the other agents can, she just gets a little worried sometimes. It's all in love.

Killjoy’s main fear is simply you getting hurt because of her. Whether it's her making a mistake on a mission or one of her creations malfunctioning, she’s terrified of being the reason for any injury of yours. For this reason she usually keeps you out of her lab, or at least away from her main workstation. 

Sage

Sage is another one who isn’t super big on pda unless she sees it’s absolutely necessary at the moment. However this doesn't mean she’s not affectionate. Behind closed doors she’s very loving, holding and making sure you have everything you could need every chance she  gets. 

Being the resident doctor on base, sage knows how important rest can be, which is why she’s adamant on you sleeping in her bed with her every night. Or so she says. She claims that she just wants to make sure you’re sleeping well with no issues, but the way she clings to you in her sleep says otherwise. 

Sage made it clear to brim that you’re not to be assigned a mission if she’s not going along too. Even then she worries that her healing may not be enough to keep you 100% safe. She usually stays close to your side on missions, watching you back and checking any corners you may have missed.

Those rare missions where sage couldn’t come along were the ones that scared her the most. She had no idea if you were safe or not. If you were injured or even dead. She had taught you the basics of tending to your own wounds the best you could if a healer wasn’t around, but even then she couldn’t really calm her nerves until you were back and safe with her.

Astra

Astra doesn’t think of pda as a big thing to worry about, if she wants to hold your hand or hold you, maybe give you a kiss or two, she will. She doesn’t care who’s around, you’re her’s, everyone knows that and if they don’t, she thinks they should.

A big cuddler. Huge on cuddles. Anytime she can just sit and hold you, she will. Especially at night. Whether you two are going to sleep or just resting in one of your beds, Astra’s got an arm around your waist and her head resting on yours. She swears she sleeps best when you’re there, and so do you.

She can’t do much to keep you safe if she’s not there, but she knows you can handle yourself very well. Yes, she worries, of course she does, but she also knows you wouldn’t let yourself get hurt that easily. She always tells you that the stars are keeping you safe.

Astra fears losing you, as would anyone with their s/o. It’s not her only fear, but it’s her biggest one. So despite being a little busy, she does her best to make time for you, and include you in everything she can. 

Skye

Skye’s not too big on pda, in fact, she’s more of an “acts of service” type of girl. She always brings you the things she’s either made or found out in the wild, things like wooden pieces she’s carved are her favorite to bring back to you. When it’s just the two of you though, she’s rather touchy, always having her fingers laced with yours or an arm around your waist. 

That being said, Skye is hugeeee on cuddles. Anytime you two had a moment to sit together she had you wrapped in her arms. Either outside in the middle of nature or in the middle of the night, tangled together in bed, she just really loves to hold you. 

Similar to Sage, Skye is very iffy on you going on a mission without her. Especially when there’s no healer at all. She feels the need to keep you safe, always, if there’s no way to do that, she can get a little anxious. She knows you can keep yourself safe, but she always says it never hurts to have backup. 

Skye isn’t one to fear much, but she absolutely hates seeing you hurt. Of course she can heal and whatnot, but she’d like to avoid you having injuries in the first place. She knows this isn’t realistic, especially given your line of work, but she still does her best to make sure your injuries are minimal if not nonexistent. 

[slocumjoe]

If you were to rate the Fo4 companions from most to least favourite how would you rate them?

I can't list them in order, because I have too many feelings on them....and also, I love them all! It's just...there's such a Rollercoaster of quality of writing, of character concept, of VA performance, of actual attention and care given to the meat-and-potatoes aspects...

Like, I can say I have a favorite (Danse) and a least favorite (Piper) and a dude in the middle who I give not a crap about (Deacon), but I still like these characters??? They're fun! Its just, I like my idea of them more than what's actually there.

So, uhhhh

RORY TALKS ABOUT THE COMPANIONS 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

this is basically a long-post of a bunch of mini-essays, so grab a snack or nice bev and get cozy

Cait, to me, is a prime example of "this character sounds better on paper". I've already complained about her three greatest flaws; being bloated, being mishandled, and being a very confused character. If I were to describe Cait, it would be that she's a troubled young woman who was traumatized all her life, but understands that it's effected her heavily and wants to work past it and better herself.

In game, she's...an Irish Girl. She talks about drinking and fucking and fighting. If not that, she's detailing her absolutely horrific life. It gives me tonal whiplash. I feel like they were too busy adding things on rather than fleshing her out. I mean, really...what is the significance of the Tough Irish Girl type in the wasteland, where everyone acts that way? Is Cait an example of your average wastelander, someone whos supposed to show the daily life in this world? Well...no, that can't be it, she's put away from others, an outsider who doesn't fit in whatever circumstances she finds herself in. She doesn't belong with raiders, she doesn't fit into the average civilian life. So, is she about ostracization and how even after being nuked, there still is a society to ostracize people? That is brought up in text, but that's not at all Cait's thing, that concept is with Hancock.

I travel with Cait to quickly get her affinity up to speedrun her "recovery" (see the Cait breakdown to learn my thoughts on That Fucking Chair) because I want her to get better...but I don't like traveling with her that much. It's not just that she often disagrees with my usual choices, she's just rather flat. I don't get the impression that the writers really considered her psychology, what she stood for, what someone should or could take away from her.

But I like her conceptually. There's a lot of fun and emotional catharsis to be had with a traumatized character like her, someone who has to navigate life after escaping her bad situations, and not knowing what to do with the survival instincts she had to cultivate, but no longer needs.

Codsworth is inoffensive to me, and I like sassy but polite characters. I find them refreshing in settings like Fallout. I had more fun imagining his lines as thinly-veiled bitching than sincerity, though. I think he's fine, just simple. Simple is best, sometimes. I wouldn't trust Beth to give the indentured servitude robot an even remotely palatable story, given how they handled the synths and their whole thing...

But Codsworth, I like having him around. He's the lemon water to the black coffee, sugary soda, whiskey, and occasional cups of tar. He's needed at a palette cleanser.

Curie should have been a main plot companion, argue with the wall. She's a Ms. Nanny who becomes a synth, which are functionally human beings. She has a lot of narrative potential, being an example and counterargument for many different things.

Unfortunately, she's kept mostly a secret, being the most hidden companion, and she's left as a simple French maid fantasy. I'm not even sure why they bothered to make her a doctor. It has nothing to do with how she's actually handled and presented. Curie's more often blushing than meaningfully interacting with the world. She talks to Amari, she becomes a synth, and the rest of her story is just her going KYAA~ at the SS. I wish they gave her some edge, some weirdness. I like my version where she's this slightly pretentious, condescending, incredibly old-seeming entity that clearly doesnt come from around here.

Danse...my boy. My boy. I adore him. You don't need me to explain why. And you don't need me to explain why his incomplete writing infuriates me.

I've said before he's very similar to Hancock, and since I have something else I want to discuss about with Johnny down in this, I'll use Danse's slot to discuss it, very quickly.

Danse and Hancock are remarkably similar people and characters, even there is parts that drift or parallel in their differences.

Substance dependency (Hancock does chems, Danse is a canonical alcoholic)

They both struggled to find their footing and place in the world, and hate the people they were in their act 1's (Hancock's takes place during his founding of Goodneighbor, Danse's after BB)

They're fiercely loyal and protective of 'their people', even if it can take a LOT for them to consider someone 'their people'

Both are suicidal and identity plays a huge part (Hancock pretends to be someone he isn't, Danse is desperate to be the person he thought he was this whole time/hates that he isn't who he thought he was)

Both of these characters are two sides of the same coin. It's just that Danse's upbringing led him to believe in authority and control being the best way to help and take care of the wasteland, Hancock's upbringing (filled with corrupt authority and control) led him to believe in an egalitarian, we-all-lift mindset where the people have the power, he's just the guy who people talk to about any issues. It's somewhat implied that Cutler was similar to Hancock, judging by Danse's few lines about Cutler.

So uuuhhh Todd where the fuck is the last 2 arcs for danse and last arc for hancock? todd? todd where the fu

As said above, Deacon is nothing to me. I like him. I don't care about him much. I think he's fun to play with, but the moment you start getting into his backstory/angst, I slide right the fuck off.

Okay, the Barb thing. Dead wife. Fucking boring story, done to death. At the point I met Deacon, I had already met Mac, Nick, knew of Longfellow and his deal. So it was like "JESUS they really dont know any other reason for a dude to be sad, do they." But the thing that keeps me from caring about Deacon is that no one can agree if Barb is real. If that actually happened.

...his backstory is supposed to inform his character. Why is Deacon doing this? Because of his backstory. If his backstory isn't real, we know nothing about Deacon, and he is, functionally, not a character. Why does Deacon lie if Barb didnt happen? Dunno. He just...does. Why is Deacon helping synths? Uhh...we needed an RR companion? Deacon's character rides or dies on Barb. If she's real, then the rest of him makes sense. She's the windex and towel to the cloudy glass house that is the rest of him. If she isn't, Deacon...doesn't matter, in any meaningful way. He's a guy in the RR who lies about everything, which means you can't care about him. Because there is nothing to care about, because it's all bullshit.

So, that's my thoughts on Deacon, in-canon. I don't know what his deal is or if his proposed deal is genuine, so I can't click with him. But in my own canon, Barb is real, so my Deacon ken-doll does appeal to me. But in Fallout 4, in text, I regard him the same as I do Tom Bombadil. To give you an idea of how flimsy Deacon is in text, a prevailing fan theory from around 2017-18 was that Deacon was Mrs. Rosa's son. Mrs. Rosa was a pre-war neighbor. Her son was a kid. The fact that Deacon is so weird and fluid and almost omniscient isn't a plus for me, it isn't a point of fascination. It's a puzzle that I know doesn't have a finished product, so I leave and go hang out with Danse, who can't speak if he isn't being absurdly blunt.

Gage is a character that deserved a better DLC. The more I think about Nuka World the more I kinda wish it was just Gage and the handmade rifle, instead the map...but that's about Nuka World. Gage himself could have easily been a swing and a miss and fall face-first into the dirt, but he's a surprisingly well-written character? There are layers of psychology with him. You can look at an action or opinion he has, and map it to something that happened to him. You can literally unravel why he does what he does, is who he is. His writers had a concept for him, and they worked backwards to understand why he would become that way.

What really sells him is his VA. Rolston put his whole pussy into that performance. Gage has so many lines that would be utter cringe if not full-assed. The "That vault suit makes your ass look great" line comes to mind...i've seen modded followers with similar lines, and jesus christ i want to pepper spray some of them. It helps that Gage has multiple faucets to his personality. It also helps that he is intentionally distinct from the other raiders, and occasionally doesn't associate with them, himself. It gives him standards and principles, which help give him shape and dimension. Good character. He isn't my favorite, that's Danse, but he's up there.

Hancock is such a waste of a character and it boggles me no one else seems to think so.

He starts on a bad note because his core reason for existing, is Beth wanted a historical figure reference. There's a reason he gives you a history lesson about John Hancock, it's so everyone knows exaclty what Johnny Ghoulie is a reference to. It's not even so much a reference, because it is a direct mimicking. I cannot stand the moments in 4 where something exists because the team learned a fun historical trivia fact, and wanted to pepper in that they did research. I've already bitched about their love of this with the Railroad at some point on this blog.

I genuinely wouldn't mind Hancock if he wasn't pulling so limp-dickedly. It's specifically the contrivance of explaining why this dude is called John Hancock, in John Hancock's clothing. It's okay if they pull from history and allude to it, But Hancock is just...some history stuff tacked on, with no real thought or care. The clothing, the name, the catchphrase. I feel like this is Disney's Hamilton on Ice.

But moving away from that...what is the point of Hancock?

Is his character about drug use and addiction? NOPE, only Cait's addiction is noteworthy. Okay...idenity issues, since he's larping? Not really. It could be, but that's not at all of interest to the story/writing itself. The Hancock thing is an aesthetic, not a trait. So, don't have that either. Is his character about leadership, in any capacity? Kinda, I guess. He briefly mentions insecurities and guilt about it a few times. But if I said "Hancock's story is about leadership", most people would raise an eyebrow and ask why. Not because it's...wrong, it's just not prominent enough to say that's his story, definitively.

So...what is the point of him? What should I take away from Hancock? Duty to the people? Preston does that, and does it better/more explicitly. Regret about past actions? Mac does that. Protecting the people from political corruption? Piper's thing (AND WE'LL GET TO FUCKING PIPER.) What is there to Hancock that isn't done by another companion? It isn't his depression because ALL these bitches be suicidal. What is unique to Hancock? Pretending to be someone else? Deacon. Drugs? Cait. Trying to figure out who you are, removed from the expections that come with having been someone else? Nick. Leadership, and the failures of it? Danse. Struggling to navigate the world in a new, different body, as a new person, functionally? Curie.

The only thing I can think of is mentioned only twice, and is immediately brushed off; the questionable nature of your leader being buddy-buddy with you, and acting like 'one of the bros' even as they hold power over you and have resources you don't. Parasocial government, if you will. It's brought up by Finn and Bobby No-Nose and is shut down/forgotten.

So...the only thing unique to Hancock, and it's regulated to, like, 3 individual throw-away lines. 2 of which you can miss.

Great.

Again, I like him. I just like him when I'm writing him, and can actually have him work through his shit and concepts. But as he stands, he's just...hey, y'know John Hancock? New Vegas also pulled from history, but New Vegas had shit to say about it. There was debating. There was actual philosophy and politics. There wasn't some dude named Caesar who was just...hanging out. What does Fallout 4 say about John Hancock?

Here's something you can say about Hancock; Hancock owned slaves. He inherited them from his uncle, Thomas Hancock. He later freed them due to terms in Thomas' will. But the guy Fallout 4 meagerly puts up as a figure of freedom and independence, and duty to fellow man, was a slave owner, and had slave owning family.

So, what does that mean for our Hancock? Who looked up to this guy, mantled him, and this guy is, in some way, a perversion of his own ideals.

And our Hancock's favorite quote is from Lincoln. Who started the Civil War. Did Lincoln own slaves? Contested, i couldn't find any clear answers. But Hancock mantles a slave owner, using a quote from the president that would try to outlaw slavery, while pushing for freedom and independence and anarchist rhetoric.

Is that the best you can do with Hancock? No. But it's an example.

MacCready, I've compared to a can of Campbell's soup. He's simple, he's decently-done. He's not Codsworth's lemon water but he isn't Cait's tar. I often struggle to write MacCready because he's so simple. There's not much there, he isn't a complex character. He's not even a complex person. And I like that! I like that the grumpy mercenary is a normal guy, who's just going through the motions and has simple desires. His type is often tar and I'm happy to see that subverted.

Its just that his lack of complexity means there's not much to say about him that you don't already know. He's accessible, which is a good thing. Most people don't want to drink tar, but if you're reaching for a fun beverage, you're not often reaching for water, either.

I think the best thing about MacCready is how excellent he is as a romance option. I think he's the strongest romantic choice in the game, period, largely due to him being a simple guy. I would go for MacCready IRL, because he's a good dad, he has good work ethic, and he's emotionally available and isn't afraid to talk feelings, without being a clusterfuck of issues. I love Danse, but you have to talk him out of suicide before you do anything, and he himself will admit that there's going to be a lot of issues simply because he doesn't know what he's doing or what he wants out of his new life.

You don't get that with MacCready. He knows what he wants and who he is and what he cares about. He's such a solid romantic interest, and there's incredible fic potential with the Sole Survivor and MacCready both as soon-to-be grieving parents.

On the flipside, I can't understand people who romance Nick and think its all sunshine and roses. Mini-rant, but /rad-roche (i think thats their user?) has the right idea, with Nick being a hot mess of unresolved issues who is never not projecting or in denial. Nick is not fit for a romantic relationship, not in the state you see him in game. Especially not before Far Harbor. Especially if you don't get the good ending of Far Harbor. I know, bisexual women, I'm sorry. He's got more shit than Danse and Hancock combined. I write romantic Nick prompts as if this isn't the case, but make no mistake. Me giving yall what you want is not me under the impression that this is a good idea.

Anyway. Nick himself.

Dead wife. Booo. I've already complained about his dumbass quest, which i really dislike for all its contrivances. Also, I find him mismatched with the world around him, and I wish there was more attention paid to that. He's a stock character playing out in real life (in Fallout 4's real life, that is). He's a 40's noir flick detective. This character does not belong in a post-apocalypse. This is an urban setting character. Fallout is not urban.

But that doesn't mean he can't exist! I just wish they went more ham with it. I mean, how does a detective function in a lawless wasteland, full of secrets simply because there's so few people see shit happening, know what goes down? It's an information blackout, out there, and a detective is all about information. Nick deserved to be let loose and go full camp on it all. Instead, we got 2 piddly little piss stains of "mystery" side quests. With someone as clashing as Nick, you really need to either sand down the edges to make him fit, or make the fact he's so weird part of the Thing. Nick is played incredibly straight, and given that that man is clearly lgbtq+, i find that almost a waste. Let this man be deranged. This is why Far Harbor is best Nick. He's holding together in the base game, but i don't want him holding together. I want him to suffer. I want him to monolog like Hamlet before driving a cane into someone's forehead.

Now, as for Piper...

Oh, Piper.

You were doomed.

You were so fucking doomed.

I've written about Piper and her shitty paper multiple times, so if you want a refresher, go to my blog > pinned post > meta section, and find the Piper posts. My peer review of The Synthetic Truth will be your best look into what I think of Piper.

The thing is, if you removed her awfully done journalism aspect, I'd like her base form! When she isn't going on and on about shit that's either wrong, baseless, or presumptuous, she's sassy, she's community-orianted, she's mischievous, she's kinda sardonic. She has a sugar problem. She's a burnt out 20 year old with a parentification issue. There's a lot to like here! The problem is they set up the journalism, fuck it up, and then veer hard-right and crash into the "I'm raising a kid when I'm not even an adult either" thing, where it had no build up or time to unfold naturally.

In my own little world, Piper's journalism fuckups are addressed and have consequences. I don't want her smoothed out and perfect, I want her glaring flaws to be intentional and acknowledged. And that just doesn't happen in text.

Ive also got a ramble on my thoughts on Preston. I've said before I don't like his voice acting most of the time, and I actually got a lot of pushback?? But the people who disagreed didnt...disagree...they just pointed out that John Gentry had a gnarly recording circumstance. I think it was that his first takes weren't supposed to be the final product, because he wasn't really intended to be the VA? Something like that, I forget. Point is, I said John Gentry obviously had a rough time in the booth, and wasn't given a fair shot, and people went "No, his voice acting is good! John Gentry just had a rough time with his line recording and wasn't given a fair shot!"

M-ma'am. Thats...what I said.

If it makes anyone feel better, I don't like the majority of the voice acting in this game...a lot of it is very 'modded skyrim character.' Remember the Skyrim Romance Mod? Thats what most of it sounds like to me. Remember Mrs. Peabody? Holy shit. Do not let anyone involved in that cook ever again. I also have personal beef with Nate. The male VA for the SS...someone, somewhere, made a bunch of choices. It was the wrong one, frequently. (The only good male SS line i can think of is the one romancing Danse. Has some texture to it. It's shy and cute, very good)

As for Preston himself, love him, love my paragon good-guy characters. He's such a sweetheart but he's down for bloodshed. I adore those kinds of characters, those "do no harm, take no shit" types. He's treated as a fluffball by fanon (when not suffering racist ass takes or absolute disregard), but Preston has got some lovely edges to him. If you go through his dialogue page and his approvals, you'll find he can be hard at times. There are moments he approves of 'asshole' choices, which is very fun. I love this dude.

Anyway hot take. IF HE WAS WHITE, ALL OF THESE BITCHES WOULD LIKE HIM. YEAH. I SAID IT. He'd be a depressed white man who's buff and kind and snarky, and you Danse girlies, you Nick girlies, you Deacon girlies, all of them would love him too. He is tailor made for standom but nooo, he isn't #FFFFFF so I guess he's doomed to stupid ass settlement jokes.

Yall lack taste. Hawk puhtoo.

SPEAKING OF AWFUL FUCKING TASTE, LEAVE MY BABY X6-88 ALONE.

X6-88 is so unappreciated. Grotesquely so, by both Bethesda and fans.

X6-88, I've said many times, is a spoiled rich man's cat who sits all poised and hisses if you so much as look at it if you're below a certain tax bracket. He's fussy and egotistical and snippy and dislikes bugs, children, water, heights, and generally anything above ground. He gushes over Danse and thinks he's the coolest. He'll let you kill the Institute if you're Railroad or Minutemen and have high affinity with him. He'll brag about getting to travel with you with his courser buddies. He's a fucking dork.

X6-88 is a nerd/prep who could be goth if left in a Hot Topic to run wild, but until then, he's in a suit for his private school and he's going to sit on HIS bench at recess and snipe at the rival school children with his friends and then he goes home and complains that his english eacher failed him on his Roman history test for writing it in perfect Latin. That is X6-88.

If you don't like X6-88 we cannot be friends. Fuckiung look at him. He's such a little shit. He's perfect.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

(from my main but this is variousqueerthings): am really enjoying reading your analyses of amy -- I definitely felt more resonance with her on this last Big watch I did, when I could disconnect the way she would at times be underserved by the writing, from what was actually going on in her story, and it's fun going from there to reading deeper analysis that picks on those threads even further

I don't know if this refers to only my straight analyses I've posted on this blog, the rambling rants I've done in the tags of other people's posts, or my fics (someone once called a fic of mine an "eloquent rant" and sometimes I feel like that's a great way to describe the more "character-study"-esque of my fics), but either way thanks! I actually had my own reevaluation of Amy Pond as a character when I got back into Doctor Who this year thanks to various other blogs/others analyses (shout out to @saint-eleventh, @thefiresofpompeii, @spoofymcgee, @ameliapondmd, and plenty of others, including you, @variousqueerthings, with your rewatch series). The first time around, when I watching Doctor Who as a freshman in high school, I couldn't pick apart the Moffatisms from the foundation of a very compelling character full of fascinating contradictions and unabiding faith and a desperate loneliness that connects so well with Eleven's. (I also, full admission, hadn't gotten the shift between how companions were written in Davies' era v. Moffat's, with the companion's arc being as integral to the story during 9 and 10 v. during 11's- though I am also now realizing the mistakes that Davies made, especially with his handling of Martha and other black characters.) Now, though, I can ride with the fairytale vibes of Season Five, which has steadily risen through my season rankings, and can also appreciate the push-and-pull of Amy Pond.

I hate love triangles but looking at Rory and the Doctor now as embodying the themes of domesticity/growing up/stagnation v. travelling/danger/curiosity and the way that the narrative constantly tries to shove Amy into the former (literally making her a wife, a womb, a mother, a vessel, stripping away her agency at every turn) makes it all the clearer how Amy, whenever given the chance, turns to the TARDIS. She doesn't want Rory to die in Amy's Choice but chooses him by choosing the TARDIS and life with the Doctor. Her biggest act of agency in the show is demanding the Doctor show up at her wedding, literally yanking him into existence and demanding that he prove to the world that her faith in him was never mad, was always the most sane thing in the world. Even at the end of the God Complex, when she should hate him more than anything, she still believes in him (and frankly, he believes in her. Eleven and Amy are each other's gods as much as they are each other's best friends).

I think that Eleven and Amy are made for each other in the same way that Nine/Rose, Ten/Martha, and Twelve/Clara are made for each other, to believe in each other, to change each other, to make each other's stories full. I love Donna&Ten, Clara&Eleven, and Bill&Twelve as much as anyone else does (I seriously adore all of these dynamics), but you can't tell the Doctors' stories and arcs without the first set of pairings I mentioned. And realizing that about Amy and Eleven and the effect they had on each other (the fact that after eight hundred years without her, she is still the last face he sees before he regenerates, the fact that she can literally remember him from nonexistence) really made me realize the potential and impact of her run as a companion/their dynamic this go 'round. I think that's the great thing about a show that runs for this long and with so many doctor&companion pairings- you are constantly going to bump up against these relationships that transcend friendship and romance and go into world-shattering, character-arc-altering, often-verging-on-codependent dynamics that impact both sides for the rest of their lives.

[eryanlainfa]

I just realized that even though i see your art of him and you talk about him a lot, i don't actually know anything about aiden. so. infodump to me about your OC lore please.

!!!! hi <3 I have SO MUCH to say about Aiden- and yet I don't share that much about them! I draw them a lot but never give much context, my bad xP

I did answer an ask a while ago about them here if you want! it has all the basic infos you might need and I've just updated it a bit because some stuff was outdated and I wanted to add some details. I also think you can find (very) few things in the eryanwrites tag

But you're asking for infodumping so!!! Imma infodump MORE >:3c

(this is in addition to the post I linked- you might want to read said post before, to have more context)

⚙ Backstory stuff

Despite being born in Old Corona, Aiden spent half of their childhood in another village even farther away from the capital. This village is run by a small saporian community and was mostly filled with travelers so people tended to come and go, lots of witches came by looking to seal their power to pass as human. So Aiden and their parents were easily welcomed there.

When Aiden was a child, the local Grandma (Aiden never learnt her name- she was just referred by everyone as Grandma) used to play with Aiden's hair a lot while she told stories. Aiden avoided cutting their hair for her, and even after her death they still refused to cut it.

Said Grandma was the village's healer and quickly became Aiden's role model. She was the first person to mentor Aiden in their quest to become a physician.

Aiden's second mentor is the current royal physician, the only one who didn't leave when the Queen got sick and no one could find a cure. Both of Aiden's mentor were/are unhinged and definetly shouldn't be trusted to teach children but that's why I love them.

Aiden is very not normal about human bodies. Both because of autism and the way their mentors educated them about it. Aiden is pretty desentisized about stuff most people would find gross.

⚙ Aiden's relationship with other characters

Aiden has a pretty good relationship with their parents. They're very loving people but a tad overprotective, it kinda made Aiden avoid talking to them about big problems because he was scared to worry them more than necessary, but overall they all love and care for each others. Aiden is just terrible at understanding and communicating his own needs.

They have many friends within the castle since they've been working here for a while now. They're also known outside of the capital since his mentor sometimes send them away, either on errand or to take care of villages without doctors.

Aiden isn't close to the main cast of tts, beside Varian. He respects and admires most of them but he doesn't consider them friends since he never really got interested in getting closer to them. They do know they can count on him when any of them gets hurt or sick, it's his job after all.

Aiden has a bestie- his name is Daniel, he's the son of the merchants proccuring most herbs for the physicians, and is currently part of the royal guards. He isn't a very fun person but Aiden enjoys how down to earth he can be.

⚙ random stuff

During the series Aiden went through like... 4 different leg prosthesis in one year because people (bad guy of the season) kept on breaking it. (I'll admit it was my go-to excuse as to why Aiden doesn't appear in canon. They're always off screen doing random things or laying on the floor stuck somewhere 😔)

They're very sensitive to temperatures since the Storm that made them lose their leg.

Aiden's magic got sealed by a tattoo on their back when they were very young, so as they grew up the tattoo got deformed and the seal weakened. Their extended family is the ones completely getting rid of it- by removing part of the skin. Hopefully for Aiden he was under hypnosis when that happens and he has no memories of it whatsoever. Varian is the one who found out about it and it made him really mad.

So you know Venefica's magic is linked to mind control. And Aiden caught feelings for Varian long before he caught feelings for them himself. Varian is very obvious about his feelings, yet Aiden doesn't acknowledge it at all. That's because they're somehow convinced Varian's feelings aren't genuine and is caused by their own magic they never learnt to control.

I mentioned witches cannot break promises so they avoid doing any, since it can easily end badly for them. Aiden (so far) made 2 : one to Quirin and one to Donella. The first one lowkey resulted in the loss of their leg. The second brought distrust between them and Varian. So yeah. Promises bad.

The only reason Hugo is allowed to call them Hobble is because he helped a lot with their prosthesis and still does

⚙ shipping stuff

At this point if you don't know I ship Aiden with both Varian and Hugo then-.. Idk how you escaped all my posting about them but I admire that, this is impressive. Anyway-

I wanted to try doing an actual love triangle so when each of them catch feelings it starts with : Aiden -> Hugo ; Hugo -> Varian ; Varian -> Aiden. Then things just... happen and at some point they all have feelings for both of the other and they are struggling to figure out what to do about it.

The first two to get into a relationship are Aiden and Hugo, but it's not really romantic, they're just having fun. Hugo quickly understood Varian was the team leader but the boy kept Aiden in high regard, so getting Aiden on his side would eventually bring Varian to it too. Aiden is very aware of it and is fine with it as long as Hugo isn't actively trying to get them hurt.

I have.. the worst love triangle dynamic chart ever :

I don't even know if its readable to others but oh well-

Anyway. I think that's enough! If any question rises I'll love to asnwer them! About Aiden or other ocs or timeline stuff- or aus- anything is fine

[thewingedswine]

Are you going to finish writing Know You?

NOTE: I am so sorry the answer became a novel, but here you go anyway🤣

That is such an inadvertently loaded question that it hurt my heart when I read it😅

So, YES, I do plan to finish it, and yes, though you didn’t ask, I still plan to start the sequel soon after- I mentioned I think in the first or second chapter that I plan to keep the story going for a few years- and it will end with the characters being like ELDERLY(not all of them but you’ll have to wait and see which ones I YEET)

But honestly what slowed me down in the first place was the dwindling interest and the disdain for stripes as a main oc.

I have a good handful of people who want to see how it ends and I LOVE them, and I love writing for them, but Know You became much closer to my heart than I expected,

And while Stripes is admittedly a dick, I try to make the characters as aware of that as possible. People scold her, she has reasons for acting that way, she sometimes feels bad about it, and she is actively making SMALL unconscious changes throughout the story, (since I plan to make this story last YEEEEAAARSSSS, I can’t give her an arc that ends quickly, I understand how the slow slow progression is frustrating but it’s realistic) and so on-

When people started commenting that they didn’t like the story because of her, I was not in a good place, and I think I emotionally latched onto that as me being a bad writer instead of “this story just isn’t for those people”. And, though I know better now, that feeling still hasn’t gone away

ADDITIONALLY, when I started the story I had sold a big slice of my small business and I had a lot of free time to update frequently because the money was just rolling in and I had very little to do- plus the movie had just come out so the hype was high and people wanted whatever Avatar fics they could get their hands on.

Now there are more options for readers, I’m starting a new business so there is less time to focus on putting out those big meaty chapters, and Know You’s popularity has died so my motivation to post for it (*often*, because I’m still very much in love with the fandom and with my characters and I’ve written out too much of the fucking 75 year timeline to just STOP) has died a bit as well

Lastly, the 2% of my personality that ISNT Avatar is writing. My grandmother has a doctorate in English language and literature (I said in a few places it was composition but i oopsed) I’ve been reading and writing with her as a hobby since I could blink and I DO love writing,(I’m not the greatest writer ever but I do love it)

The reason I write fanfics, which don’t pay, is for the dopamine blast I get when someone says they like the story. I don’t think there is any writer out there that can say they don’t do it at least a little bit for that.

So with the minimal amount of dopamine I get from the satisfaction of making the story exist in general, and the breadcrumbs my 3 online friends who read the story are throwing me every so often, I am indeed army crawling my way to the finish line, but it’s going to be extraordinarily slow.

I hope that answers your question, sorry about the rant, the ending is going to make you explode✨

[ineffable-endearments]

A Matter of Life and Death / Stairway to Heaven (1946)

Posted for the @gomenseveryday countdown to Good Omens 2! 16 days to go!

I was able to watch this old movie just by searching for the title on Roku. At least in my region, there are a few free apps you can download to watch it - there were commercials, but not too many.

This movie had two different titles: Stairway to Heaven in the US, and A Matter of Life and Death in the UK.

I’ll admit, old movies can be hard for me to get into because - and this is difficult to explain, but I’ll do my best - the language, the framing of stories, and the very cinematography is so different from what I’m used to. It’s definitely not about special effects and has nothing to do with the quality of the story or acting; it’s something vague. It’s like a dialect of a language that I speak, where I can understand a lot of it, but there are serious gaps in my understanding. As a result, I might miss social cues that most contemporaries of those movies would have picked up with no problem (like slang expressions). If you’ve seen this movie and my interpretation sounds off, there is a good chance it’s because the movie is more than twice as old as I am and I don’t fully know what I’m talking about.

Stairway to Heaven is referenced in the opening sequence to Good Omens 2 (the link leads right to the opening sequence, so don’t click it if you want to keep that a surprise), and has also been mentioned by Michael Sheen as a favorite movie. It’s about a World War II pilot named Peter Carter whose “time is up,” who is supposed to die as he ejects from his burning plane without a parachute - but Conductor 71, his usher to the afterlife (a former French aristocrat who has been dead for a long time), loses track of him in the soupy fog of the English channel. Peter has to appeal to a Higher Authority for an extended lifetime with his new beloved, the American operator at an army base who took what he believed was going to be his final call from his plane. Her name is June.

While Peter is experiencing this heavenly appeal, his doctor and love interest are assuming that his struggle is “real to him” but not literal; they believe he is having many very complicated hallucinations that he needs to work through, while in the physical world, surgery needs to be done on his brain to prevent lasting damage.

It’s said at the beginning of the movie that the ethereal events take place in the pilot’s imagination. While I can take that somewhat at face value, the movie presents the afterlife trial as very real, intermingling it with Peter’s brain surgery and appearing to affect the world around him physically. The movie validates the pilot’s experience and the complexity of the ideas he’s grappling with, while acknowledging that his brain injury is also a physical reality. I can’t be entirely certain whether the success of the surgery led to Peter’s survival or whether the success of the ethereal trial led to the success of the surgery, and I suspect that’s the whole point.

It’s a thoughtful movie with much more to it than just the similarities to Good Omens. However, this post is about those similarities.

There are so many familiar things here. The afterlife as a bureaucracy? Oh, yes, it has that in spades. Theres also an amusing scene wherein Conductor 71 stops time to have a chat with Peter. The main characters are English and US-American, too, and an element of “sides” is introduced in the form of debate over the cultures of England and the USA. This is no concern to Peter and June, but it is very concerning indeed to the afterlife entities who died during historical events.

All in all, I’d highly recommend this movie if you want to connect with some familiar ideas as they manifested in a story from many decades ago. Note that the movie does date itself sometimes. To my relatively untrained eye, it seemed pretty respectful, although there were a few stereotypes that you might expect from 1946, and I think it tried to boldly face some aspects of history (e.g. England's imperialism) while continuing to sanitize others. Overall, though, I'd recommend it!

EDIT: Oh, dear. I didn't notice, but after reading online, I've been informed that there's blackface in the movie. One of the celestial characters is intended to be a Black American, but during part of his appearance on-screen, the film switches from black and white to Technicolor, and you can see that he's played by a white actor. This information is from TV Tropes and I can't seem to find screenshots of any related parts of the movie, but you should be warned that it's in there.

[superwholockednico]

First time watching the 13th doctor Thoughts

First off, this is my first time getting 'not my doctor' syndrome. I think this may be because all the other doctors were already doctors when I started watching Doctor Who.

(While all of capaldi's seasons weren't out then, I was aware going into the fandom that he was one of the doctors. I also watched all the seasons near consecutively during summer break, so I never had time to be like. Noo I want to watch the last doctor. Because I just wanted to watch more doctor who.)

But this time it was different. I was looking at a lady I knew as an actor (from Chibnall's other work, Broadchurch (my beloved!)) and from her cover of Yellow, of all things.

Perhaps more importantly, I came in knowing many people didn't like her seasons. Which is weird.

Like, it is a weird experience going into a show you love being like. Ok so is it as bad as people say.

I have experience in this. I watched supernatural. (of course) And I was a bit behind on the show, always a handful of seasons behind, so I knew I was heading nowhere good. But with supernatural, you never know when it gets bad (expect the last episode. I know that one is ass). The best episodes are in the worst seasons and the worst seasons sometimes have the best ideas and its a mess. But people (on twitter, especially) gave me this idea that 13's seasons were all worse quality.

It really wasn't.

Now I'm only on season 1, and the timeless child arch is still to come, which I fear as I don't like the concept from what I've heard (i really like the idea of the doctor as just some person fumbling around, hence why I like 12 better than 11). But for now. It's a pretty good show.

The episodes feel very rewatchable to me.

Compared to the much more interconnected stories going on in 11 and 12's run, every episode of season 11 could be watched alone with little explanation. Not that that is better or worse, but it means I can def go back and pick a random episode to rewatch whenever I need.

And It is fun!

Almost every episode in this season was super fun! Obviously they had some more emotionally charged ones ('demons of punjab', 'the battle of ranskoor av kolos' (the finale), and maybe a bit of 'It Take You Away') but overall there were a lot of really fun moments and sites and it was somewhat whimsical at times but not in the same way as 11. The peak example being Kerblam!

The characters were also what made it so fun.

They're a jolly little crew of fellas traveling through space togather. No one feels like the 'main character' (ok Ryan sort of does. Because he started off the show you know, Rose style?). So far, it is Yasmin who feels like the tack on.

Which is funny because the only companion I've heard about at length is Yaz and how great she is and so far I am like, oh yeah, she had a few episodes (Arachnids in the UK and Demons of Punjab). Like I don't really care about her yet. I don't feel connected with her.

You know who I do feel connected/invested in. MY OLD MAN. GRAHAM CRACKER. (not cus he's white, it's a brand guys). i love this old man. I feel for him. I wanted his revenge when he wanted his revenge. I was so happy for him when he was happy that Ryan called him gramps (or whatever he called him). Like I was literally giggling cus he was happy over it and that made me happy cus I was emotionally invested in him!

I liked the idea of Graham before I watched this season actually, due to a reddit post where someone was like, best crossover would be three old men (the 12th doctor and graham and wilf) running around for an episode. And I was like, omg that is an amazing idea.

Okay I need a whole post for the Fam and how I actually love having a little crew in the tardis. Next post it is.

[mari-lair]

(Actors AU: Part 1. Part 2)

The villain becomes the main character on season 2, taking care of the injured hero by threatening doctors to help and hiding both him and the maiden from the villainess in his house. Aoi does her best act as the maiden in this part of the story, scared of the villain when he is agitated and wary when he is kind to her, even getting an emotional scene when she sees the unconcious hero.

The villain rise in popularity , and even if the maiden is still the less popular character of the main four, she also gets more love. A lot of hero content regardless of ship, or lack of, turned into recovery hurt comfort, or tragedies where he never wakes up. The villainess takes a backseat in the story, any bad deeds she does kept as background detail, but she is still the ‘bad bitch everyone loves.‘ in the fandom, her lack of screentime just making the fans more eager for more.

At this point, there were as many love letters as there were critiques of the show. Teru avoids reading any hate, liking to check out the creations for the show, be it art and crafts, edits, aesthetics based on characters, theories, and so on. Aoi also likes them, smiling when Teru shares fun shitposts of their characters or people with fun cosplays, but when she feels down she spends most nights wide awake, unable to look away from any hate her characters get, they are far crueler about the cute maiden character, which is the character Aoi relates more between the two, and is a path that eventually leads to finding posts on Aoi, criticizing her acting to her appearance and behavior.

Aoi can’t say she is hurt, not exactly, she looks down on the strangers that hate the superficial image they have of her, just like she ignores any people claiming to have a crush on her, but she feels angry when people hate on the coworker she is fond of, unable to kill her possessive nature when she sees people claiming to have a crush on the villain, or worst, on her childhood friend, gushing about the actor instead of the character. So sometimes Aoi gets days she is tense from too much social media exposure before filming, but she is used to acting, and no one notices her unhealthy habit.

She has mixed feelings when she hears that Akane and Teru might have a romance in the show: On one hand, she is a professional who knows how acting works and she trusts Teru but on the other hand… She understands perfectly why Akane was so panicked when she had to kiss Teru, the ugly feeling hard to kill. 

Teru reassured her the script is all implied, and their romance will likely be one-sided, which was so embarrassing it made Aoi double down on acting like she isn’t bothered at all, if asked she’ll even claim this is a “Great idea! I can’t wait to see it <3”. 

Teru is a fantastic actor, the most experienced of the main cast, so when they start to set up for the hero to fall in love with the villain, the intention may still be unclear, but it gets attention right away.

They finally air a scene where the hero wakes up, and the villain is happy but mostly tired, immediately complaining. The scene has a stressed edge to it, but it still feels playful, the familiar energy of their banter breaking when the villain mentions the cute maiden, whose name immediately muffles the villain’s voice, turning any updates of what happened while the hero was asleep unintelligible. The villain’s voice transitions into car noises and we get a flashback in the hero's pov of the maiden shy smile becoming the villainess's cold and condescending one. The hero touches his bandages torso and stares blankly at the villain for a moment, the background sound became sharp again when the villain ask if he is hurting and if he needs to steal more painkillers, which makes the hero laugh in a very tired and bitter manner, clenching the sheets and sounding exasperated but noticeably softer than usual as he claims to be okay, there is no need to commit crimes in his behalf.

Some people thought this scene was a sign the maiden and the hero will finally get more focus/conflict, others that the villain and hero team up have been solidified, but most fans were celebrating that the hero is finally up again! His ‘strange attitude’ feeding everyone that have been craving angst and trauma. Only the die hard hero x villain shippers saw that scene as romantic. Regardless, it was a well-received episode, and Teru rose back to the top of popularity within the week.

They film a scene where the hero protects the villain from an ambush in the next episode, Akane is genuinely caught off guard when teru holds him close to protect him from falling debris, instead of pushing the villain away from dangers. Teru acts smug, claiming some improvisation outside their banters can be good for the show. The crew seem to agree because they actually aired it! Akane hates it, he looks stupid in his shock, actually holding on to Teru’s shoulders and being very genuine in his scandal when he asks Teru what the fuck he is doing, but it still aired. Akane want to punch the one behind putting the final product together. And Teru too. Mostly Teru.

 Akane vents to Aoi about the bastard being too good at acting on their next hangout, and how it makes his gloating after every shot a million times more annoying than usual. Aoi is amused by his theatrics, but she silently agrees, having almost fallen for the illusion that Teru loves her a few times, is what makes his playful yet careful behavior with her after each ‘date with the maiden’ shoot so comforting, is why watching his scenes slowly be more intimate with Akane makes her want to die. The fans excitment for it doesn’t help.

The crew says the two have chemistry so they will get together later. Akane is appalled and reminds them about his character's crush on the cute maiden ”The villain has been spending a lot of time with her recently, even if it’s one-sided, his crush should be going strong!” The crew see his point, and promise to give Akane a mini-arc where he realizes he only brings the maiden distress, and she is visibly happier when he isn’t around, so he’ll move on, for her. Akane is in shambles because he can’t argue it fits his character, and Teru teases him about it, only sounding genuinely apologetic when he apologise to Aoi, though he buys them both an ice cream.

They still want to explore the hero and the maiden relationship, since they were big friends and the maiden is very worried about him. They have another of theirs ‘fluffy scenes’ in a more isolated, but no less beautiful, place and is all sweet like always, a fluff band aid to the angst that have been this season, except cracks start showing: the maiden is not framed in warm light like usual, the hero acts awkward when the maiden touches him, and when she complements him to make him chin up, saying things that the villainess had said before, the hero grow tense and avoids eye contact, his goodbye feels more like he is running away than anything. He met up the villain, who have a warm framing despite how resigned and tired his smile is when he ask how his ‘date’ with the maiden was, the hero blush and look away and go to his room without saying a word, much to the villain confusion.

The fan base exploded at the implications. The show actually hit trending for a full twenty minutes.

[buffalochickenwing]

Harvey Headcanons! ☕️🛩📚

He grew up in a decently wealthy household. He always had new clothes and a clean haircut, and he was often made fun of for it at school. He just wore whatever his mother picked out for him because he didn't know any better. He wasn't exactly encouraged to explore his personal style as a teenager, and it shows.

He has a very rocky relationship with his mother, who has always been controlling over his life (particularly his love life) and is the main reason for him becoming a doctor (she's also a major reason for his anxiety/insecurities). Harvey considered a variety of options when he accepted that he couldn’t be a pilot, but his mother practically forced him into the medical field. She still tends to project her dreams onto him.

His dad is just... there. He's the type of man that simply agrees with his wife, hardly sharing his own opinions or true emotions in an attempt to appear "manly." He was rather cold toward Harvey as a child and was typically busy with work (I believe he was the CEO of something), but they've grown closer as Harvey has gotten older.

His older sister Hannah is a lot like him, but a super hipster lesbian that’s a bit more on the adventurous side. Their mother is not supportive of her at all, and it’s something that infuriates him (he loves his sister to death). He takes her to a pride parade every year so that she feels loved and accepted by at least one member of her family. She lives in the city and they meet up often, usually on a monthly basis. They both love to read and often exchange books with each other once they've finished them. He considers her to be his best friend.

He played the violin growing up (his mother's idea). He was in orchestra all throughout school, though he was never very good. He enjoyed the music, but he didn't actually like playing very much, and he *hated* being on stage.

He loves dream pop. I just know that this little hipster man gets down to some Cocteau Twins, Lush, or Slowdive. I think he also probably likes The Smiths (they're so relatable to him), but he’s not really into any post-punk beyond that. I also think he likes 70s dad rock a little bit, stuff like Eagles and America- just the classics.

He isn’t really the type to get bored easily. He didn't have a large social circle growing up, so he learned to entertain himself. When he lived in the city he used to go to the movies by himself, and sometimes even to restaurants that he wanted to try. He is painfully lonely at the end of the day, but he does enjoy his own company.

He’s a cat person, 100%. Dogs tend to need too much attention and playtime for his liking. I imagine that his partner's cat loves to rub their head on his mustache and sit on his lap while he reads. I also imagine that they tend to knock his model plane parts onto the floor while he's building them. It annoys him, but he's very patient with his furry friend!

He isn't disturbed or scared by horror movies at all. He doesn't bat an eye, especially at gore- he has a stomach of steel from his days of working at the hospital. He enjoys watching them from time to time simply to critique the medical inaccuracies.

He secretly *loves* Hallmark Christmas movies. He watches them every year from the moment they start airing. He's an absolute sucker for cheesy romance. He cries during them sometimes if he's had a little too much wine.

Okay that was long and way too deep, I'm so incredibly sorry!

I'm just jotting these down as reference points for my fan fic tbh, I thought I'd post it though? Oof ya'll, please bear with me. I'm trying to be more creative in my daily life and this is just my way of forcing myself to actually do it.

[generic-sonic-fan]

Now I know Shadow not thinking of Eggman as family is the more popular take. But may I present to you: Shadow treating him as the baby of the family.

Him preferring Robotinik tech

Him always referring to Robotinik as Doctor as a form of pride

Protective of him if he’s hurt or mentally unstable.

Him resenting characters saying he’s pure evil.

Ivo is treated as much as a weapon as Shadow is and Metal

Shadow having baby pictures and scavenging for childhood ones.

Just, Shadow Robotinik.

(First of all, if you haven't already, required reading for this post is Robotnik Family Reunion.)

I'm not sure I agree with your take 100% of the way, but I do love to explore the relationship between these two as being closer than most people headcanon. I don't think Shadow acts as the older of the two- they're cousins, if Shadow's counting himself as Maria's sister, which makes them roughly the "same" age. But I do think that they have a strange sort of familial relationship that neither of them can really quantify.

Shadow is someone who cares very deeply about family. Not in an overt, loving sense; almost more of steely obligation. Rouge asks why Shadow even bothers with Ivo and the only reply he has is "he's family". Shadow can't just forget and move on. He's a Robotnik. If something truly happened to Ivo, (especially a chronic illness!) Shadow would be there. There's no other option to even comprehend.

Shadow holds a sort of respect for him. Calling Ivo by "doctor" is the main manifestation of this. But that's not to say that they like each other. They disagree on some fundamental things. Ivo reminds Shadow too much of Gerald's latter years with his desire to conquer the world, and those scars are still too fresh to heal. But there's also an understanding that comes from that. Shadow knows what it's like to be so angry at the world that the only solution you can see is violence. Instead of merely conquering, he tried to destroy everything. Ivo, at least, operates under the pretense that he's making the world better, and that's something Shadow can almost agree with, if it weren't for the scientific and callous disregard for the well-being of others that Ivo brings along with it.

Shadow remembers what it was like to be "evil", and knows it's much more complicated than that. When Sonic and the rest of the gang get to calling Ivo "pure evil", it doesn't sit right.

. . . but then sometimes Ivo does something so colossally stupid or evil that Shadow loses patience and considers just killing the man. To avoid making the decision, he lets Sonic be the one to give the final blow to whatever robot Ivo has himself holed up in for the latest scheme, and looks the other way as Sonic lets him escape every time.

They definitely have periods where they're closer than others.

Sometimes, during the good periods, Ivo lets Shadow get ahold of some of the old family heirlooms. He's got lots of things from old houses that he's inherited as the rest of the Robotnik family dropped like flies over the years, things with little use to him, so he lets Shadow pick through the remains. The most valuable find so far has been a blue ribbon that Maria wore as a baby before the ARK, along with a picture of her parents. Ivo says this exchange of family property is to bribe Shadow from breaking in and erasing his access to the PROJECT: SHADOW files from the EggNet, but. . . let's be honest here, he wouldn't have to go as far as actually giving gifts this important and meaningful to Shadow to achieve that.

Shadow talks about all this with Rouge sometimes. Rouge has had some unsavory family members in the past, so she's able to give some advice. With Omega, though, the topic is probably the biggest strain in their friendship. Omega made up his mind about the whole "family" situation since day one: Ivo is not his "father", and he is not a Robotnik. Shadow has only once made the mistake of implying that he and Omega were cousins once-removed. It took him a week to heal the injuries and even longer for Omega to start speaking to him again.

(Sometimes Shadow, despite himself and despite everything, catches himself feeling a strange sort of gratitude that Ivo built Omega. He keeps this very, very private.)

So, yeah- Shadow Robotnik indeed (no matter how messy the title and all the emotions that come with it may be.) Thanks for sending this ask. I'm always in the mood to have my brain picked about these two.

[anoddopal]

9 and 10 for the s/i ask game! (asking for both the regular timeline and the au timeline! 👀) -gideongrovel

[Link to ask game!!]

Main Timeline

9. Who are your self insert’s closest friends?

Bun’s very closest friends are Ni.co Robin, Tony Tony Cho.pper, and her ✨~flashy~✨ bestie, Bu.ggy the Clown!

The friendship bewteen Silva and Robin has been explained in more depth HERE; but as a whole, they are cut from a very similar cloth. Just your average duo of morbidly curious history buffs who in time- found their respective reasons to live. ❤️‍🩹

Ch.opper is Bun's preferred doctor. He took care of her when she briefly traveled with the St.raw Hats. Bun was rather unwell after the Ala.basta incident, and her pets communicated to the reindeer that she needed help. As a result she adores the little guy [+bonus points in his favor that he's an animal]! They both look up to each other; Bun admires his dedication to his craft, and respects the fact that he is a talented medical professional, despite some of his more childish mannerisms. Ch.opper outright thinks that Silva is cool, if not something of a badass- he always carefully regards the life advice she provides him with. Tony is always happy to translate what Silva's pets say to her! Even a ways off into the future, Bun still goes to him for her significant medical needs; or sometimes Ch.opper makes the trip to her. The little guy may be the only person that Bun earnestly listens to when he scolds her to take better care of herself.

Bu.ggy and Bun were practically instant friends. They initially met when Bu.ggy made a trip to Ala.basta to search for THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE his on-agin-off-again partner, Jinx [@/mothlover69]. Bu.ggy quickly perceived Bun as a secret freak outcast, and Bun couldn't help but think he'd be a fascinating specimen to observe, er, a unique acquaintance to have! In any case, they got along decently well right off of the bat, so much so that Bu.ggy eagerly allowed Bun to live on his ship after she decided she didn't have the heart to keep traveling with the St.raw Hats. Actually, rumor has it that he just shot out his detached hands and scooped her + her pets onto the Big Top sometime before Lu.ffy's crew made it to Jaya!

It would be fair to say that B.uggy is a bad influence on her. It would also be fair to say that she’s as equally of a good influence on him. He’s learned how to be slightly better because of her. For example, the slack he cut for a frightened Transponder Snail at Mar.ineford was due in part to Bun’s impact. Most of the time Bun is the responsible one in their friendship, but in the event she’s not at her best, she has a tendency to feed into Bu.ggy’s nonsense. This was extremely evident when Bun was in a post-breakup[?] depression after Ala.basta, and Bu.ggy chose to enable all of Bun’s bad habits. What, what’s the harm in eating candy and cake for breakfast? Breakfast… three meals a day… HEY, he got her to eat, okay?! Psshh, he was only trying to comfort his friend! That’s what friends do, right? They cheer each other up? [Bless Jinx for rising up as the responsible adult in this specific situation!]

Bun respects Bu.ggy as her friend, but she also tends to call him out on his bullshit. [Nagging is one of her love languages!] Bu.ggy huffs at this tendency of hers, but deep down he knows that she wouldn’t do it if she didn’t really care about him. He very much enjoys the attention she gives him in any context. He furthermore appreciates her authenticity even though he doesn’t always know what to do with her… wholesomeness. Whereas Bun appreciates how she can ease up and laugh around him. In the future, Bun protects him from the wrath of her ill-tempered husbands.

Bu.ggy has been desperate to get his best bun to join his crew for a very long time. After she left with Cro.codile after the battle at Mar.ineford, he had a meltdown due the fact she was gone. [Actually he thought she was dead! They got separated during the battle and never regrouped. When Bun eventually came back a few weeks later to collect some of her belongings that were still on the ship, Bu.ggy legitimately thought he was being haunted by her ghost.] Though the two end up working within close proximity when Cross Gu.ild is formed, Bu.ggy still laments she still didn’t choose to join up with him. Listen, the guy is a better friend to her than most would think- however, that doesn’t mean that he still isn’t just a taaaad selfish. 🙄

Bu.ggy has since added some more pastels to his flashy wardrobe, while Bun can semi-frequently be seen wearing oddly clownish makeup [Bu.ggy uses her face as a canvas when she allows it].

[This answer really only included dynamics with canon characters but I simply must give shoutouts to @/mothlover69’s Jinx and @/jj-exe’s JJ!! They are also Bun’s beloved fwiends.]

10. How do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

Most folks are baffled as to why/how Bun and Cro.codile ended up together. They became even more confused when Mi.hawk also married Bun years down the line. Bun is very small and kind- her husbands seem like too harsh of people for somebody like her. [Little do they realize how ridiculously soft the are for bun-]

But given that the three seem outwardly content with their dynamic, the rest of the world can only assume that Bun is extremely powerful, having wrangled two former Warlords of the Sea and all! And that assumption is not wrong. uwu

Robin is glad for her friend. She saw Bun and Cro.codile together during their early days, and she knows firsthand how inseparable they are. Bu.ggy does NOT care for his business associates/his best bun's husbands. They eat up her TIME and ATTENTION!! >:o( And he also secretly worries that they're mean to her like how they are to him!! However, the flashy fool has nothing to worry about.

Somebody -> 🦩 may be not-so-secretly seething with jealousy about the relationship, but the details on that matter are better kept hush-hush.

Forbidden Fruit AU

9. Who are your self insert’s closest friends?

Why, Bun’s very best friend in this timeline is the good doctor, D.oc Q! Ca.tarina D.evon and Ku.zan are also quite close with her.

D.oc Q is her ride or die. They have that Horse Girl [or uh, Horse Boy in this case?] 🤝 Rabbit Girl connection. They are both chronically ill [ofc Doc's health issues are much more dire] and count on their prey animal pets to get by: he has his horse Stronger🐴 [mobility aid] and Silva has her lapin🐰 Stratus [ESA]. Doc has a way of knowing what's amiss with Bun before she even knows herself- he furthermore was able to pick up on some of her health issues that she didn't initially disclose to him. Bun assists him with his work when needed- D.oc Q has the MD degree and Bun has the bedside manner, lol. Though she mostly helps him take proper care of Stonger, which is something he is eternally grateful for.

It was Doc who first started referring to Silva as "lucky", which is a judgement that has stuck, though Bun denies it. Bun will sing with others, but Doc is the only person she will sing to. He insists that her low-toned warbles are soothing, that the sound helps him feel better when he's sick. The often have deep discussions about death and the fragility of life. If D.oc Q's mantra is "memento mori", then Bun-Bun Silva is soon to follow with a gentle "memento vivere".

When Ca.tarina Devon first joined the crew, Bun was ecstatic! Being surrounded by a bunch of men all the time was… a bit exhausting, so finally having a woman around was a nice change of pace. Of course, Devon is as rotten as the rest of them, but she found that she couldn’t possibly rain on Bun’s parade. Turns out it’s nice to have a platonic “gal pal” to share the AFAB experience with. They’re both LGBT+, they manifest ~queen~ energy together, and Devon continuously tries to teach Bun how to live the: Gaslight. Gatekeep. Girlboss 💅 way of life. However, Bun is a bit too kindhearted to really adapt that approach to herself. So Devon has to settle for engaging Bun in juicy gossip- which Bun is juuuuuust petty enough to indulge in. 💖💜💅✨

Ku.zan and Silva are alike in ways that set them apart from their other crew members. Both have a capacity for compromise and compassion. They are disenchanted with the World Government; they found they could seek their own freedom and fulfill their own needs by aligning themselves with Bla.ckbeard. Out of everyone else they’re the most socially acceptable out of the bunch. Ku.zan had his world turned on his head, which is a feeling of despair that Bun can relate to on a deep level. She’s always interested to hear what his life was like when he was a Marine, and she always chuckles bitterly when she relates to how his perspective was forced to change. Ku.zan enjoys her ability to match his dry humor- but the ice puns get a little repetitive. Overall they have a seemingly casual, yet actually rather close, friendship!

Oh! And Bun tends to give the latter two unwarranted relationship advice. "You know Devon, maybe you'd have a girlfriend if you didn't keep trying to behead every date you've landed since you've been a free woman! 💀 And Ku.zan! Please tell me you didn't try the 'big bazongas' cold opening on another poor woman again-"

10. How do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

The rest of the Bla.ckbeard Pirates wholly support Silva and La.ffitte as a couple! Their union was a product of destiny after all- the two were simply meant to be. None of them would ever deny that fact or attempt to get in the way of their relationship. They’re the crew’s resident lovebirds. [It helps that La.ffitte, in a terrifyingly cheerful manner, makes it clear to any potential newcomers he and his beloved wife are strictly exclusive… and any person who attempts to challenge that will be dealt with accordingly.]

… Though in the beginning, the crew were almost certain Bun would end up with D.oc Q, given how close they are. But it seems fate had other plans in store!

And as for the rest of the world; as for everyone that was close to Bun before she became involved with Te.ach's crew? They're very concerned. The Bun they knew would never associate with a person like that! Something must be wrong. Something must have gone horribly wrong.

... Sir Cr.ocodile is filled with so many regrets...