"What will you do once I pass away?" The question came out of the blue, but such strange questions were par for the course at this point. Gamigin was nuzzling to your neck when you spoke, but he wasn't phased.
"I'll revive you. Death won't be permenent in Paradise Lost for as long as I'm around to stop it." You were running a hand through his blue hair, playing with a strand of it.
"But what if you don't revive me? If you can't revive me? What will you do then?" The dragon stopped kissing up your neck and shifted so he would be at eye level with you on the bed. He looked confused and hurt which almost made you ashamed that you asked the question.
"My staff can bring anyone back from the dead."
"Ok, but I age and demons don't what about that? What if I get so old I want to die to end my mysery."
Gamigin looked even more confused by your words. He didn't quite understand why humans aged so fast. He pouted in thought and stared at the ceiling. After a while, with a stern voice he asks "How long do humans usually live for?"
You try to remember your anthropology classes and what the avarage age of death was for your country, but you just can't put your finger on it. "I don't know, 70 or something like that." "70! Only 70 years!?!" He pushed you to the bed and pinned you to it with a shocked expression. His mind was working overtime trying to calculate just how long that timespan felt like.
Finally, he turns to you and holds your hands softly kissing them both. He stares determined in your eyes. "You are going to have the most exciting life ever. I promise you. What do you wish to do before you die?"
You've never seen him so stern, but the question was one that you've many times asked yourself yet never seemed to have an answer to. Gamigin's glare was starting to intimidate you so you gently slap his face.
"Don't look at me like that! You're making me nervous! I don't know what I want to do before I die. I just kind of want to see where life takes me."
Gamigin smiles like he usually does and pins you to the bed with a hug. His staff, which he kept in one hand at all times, jiggled lively as you both collapsed on the cottage bed.
"Well then, I want to cuddle with you and rewatch the 'How to Train Your Dragon' trilogy. And then we can play blackjack and whoever wins has to wash the dishes after dinner!" Gamigin proclaimed before kissing your cheek and nuzzling into it.
"Who tought you blackjack?" It was strange hearing your usually innocent boyfriend putting forth the idea of blackjack of all things.
"My brother Buer. He also thought me the dishes strategy as well. Jokes on him, I won." His giggle was contagious and you two ended up just cuddling and watching movies for the better half of the night.
If your relationship with Gamigin thought you anything, it was that you didn't have to live through bombastic experiences to enjoy life. You were having the time of your life just being close to him.
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The restaurant at the end of the world turns out to be a waffle house,
Now you might be thinking “Well, the world hasn't ended, and weren't you just on about rabbit holes?”
For -you- the world hasn't ended, maybe you missed it, and I was on about rabbit holes and vagueing about various animals [affectionately], I was setting up for a joke [reference?] but no one took the bait
This is odd -being in a waffle house, not people ignoring my attempts at humour- because I'm in northern Canada [though in Canada you get a bonus 5% to dad jokes and silly puns it's free for everyone], and I didn't know the states had snow this time of year, but that's immaterial really
Because this isn't Canada or anywhere else anymore, it's the end of the world
I'm doing something I can never actually do again, I'm sitting in a restaurant face to face with another person, no mask between me and food, or them, at the end of the world the virus can't get you [or that's what everyone is convinced of]
I'm asking about all day breakfast and how many kinds of oily meat and eggs they have on one platter, with waffles, preferably. I don't have to think about 102 food allergies here, or whether someone has contaminated my food, whether this meal could rob me of health for months to come, or permanently, I can just stuff my face with fat and protein and talk to this guy about the life span of chipmunks and various mustelids, maybe beavers or rabbits... This started with Beavers didn't it?
And the thought crosses my mind that this is what everyone else does daily without even having to think about it, the definition of taking things for granted,
Just sitting in a fucking restaurant
They can walk into a diner, order a slice of pie and eat it while striking up conversation with the guy who walked in behind them
I don't think another living person has seen my face in over 5 years except when I pull down my mask to buy alcohol or get an id photo taken
I see other people's faces though and I wish I didn't as much
They don't have to question if they are trading this experience -here and now- for everything that could have come after it every time, they just get to live in the here and now, like in this waffle house
I can't remember the last time I ate out anywhere, which -probably- means it went badly,
I can't have possibly known it would be my last time just being able to order and eat food in public,
I couldn't have made sure to make it count, or have a hasty do-over to pick which meal would be the last one, not my -last- one, but the last one before the world eneded
Was it when my ex invited me to the only pizza place I could still eat at, just to pick a fight with me? [As if they knew it might mean I wouldn't be able to eat there again, I had to stop ordering too because they started being super skimpy on the toppings and my order is too recognizable] They called it “neutral ground” like they just learned a new philosophy term that week but didn't actually know what it meant.
Was it the plain fries I hastily shoved down immediately after dental surgery and explicitly against all instruction? [I was fine I did not bite myself or burn myself, the anaesthetic wasn't ever going to last that long, and I know my safe limits], I kind of hope it was that, it was too many years ago though, or that time I bought packaged food and ate it at the picnic table outside the store that no one uses. There were seagulls,
It probably should have been a chip truck on a beach. It wasn't, but it should have been,
It could have been better whatever it was. I could have gone out of my way to find a place that still served chocolate shakes like the ones I remember from that diner in my childhood. I could have gone alone. I could have gotten grilled cheese. I could have had sushi again. I could have spent it talking with strangers instead of people who would become strangers. I could have had one of those really good diner burgers that seems meant for about three people, or one very hungry one,
I know what fast food sausages and bacon taste like, I remember... I think,
What were we talking about? Falling down rabbit holes, research for curiosity's sake and imagination too I guess. There was snow at the end of one tunnel. Do you know how many animals in Canada hunt in the snow by sensing what's beneath them?
I remember the last time I ate eggs at a diner they got shells in mine, I hate that unexpected crunch, but I'd have shells hiding in all my restaurant eggs forever if it meant I could safely eat at a restaurant again,
If I could breathe,
If face to face contact with other people wasn't exactly like having to hold my breath,
If being physically close to another person was still something other than abstraction to me,
If sitting at a diner was something other than a vivid memory,
That little hop foxes do to break through the crust on snow... Wolves do it too. Maybe you noticed your dog doing it on your mattress. Minx also do that, and skunks I imagine. Wolverines and those funny little white foxes. I didn't get a chance to joke about trying to dig out of a rabbit hole in deep snow only to meet something bigger, because someone dragged me to this waffle house instead, where I can eat enough that the waitresses watch our table and giggle, and contemplate the end of normalcy,
I don't have to tell him, at the end of the world, that this is all just pretend, that for me it could never be real. I could never sit here, I could never talk this close -across a table- from anyone, I'd be allergic to almost every food they have on their menu and live in fear of someone touching my food with unclean hands, or spitting in it, because it could kill me, he doesn't have to know and I don't have to bring it up, not at the restaurant at the end of the world...
I don't have to wonder how well they wash these plates, or if there's someone else's lipstick still on my glass... Scratch that, coffee mug... I don't even have to wonder if a waffle house actually serves you on real plates or with real coffee mugs, and I'm not too sensitive to alkaloids to drink coffee anymore... not at the end of the world,
Carrots made me sick the other day. Upset my stomach so much I got afraid I couldn't keep taking my medications... Turns out it was just the alkaloids again. I'd make a shit rabbit actually, I can't even keep a carrot down and half of what I can still eat is meat,
It's probably terrifying to be in a safe little snow tunnel and have something break down from on top of you out of nowhere, I wonder if there's much warning about that either, there can't really be, maybe a tension knowing it could always come down on you, but it also makes me wonder if there are any animals that hunt from beneath, A cozy bright white sparkling tunnel of diffused sun and the quiet impact of careful paws overhead... There are lots of animals in Canada that take down prey multiple times their size, but I don't know if any use snow as a cover for hunting, or if they just make burrows in it to hide,
Forgive me, I've been on an ill-advised amount of antihistamines and anti-inflammatories for weeks now, and -this- tunnel started with a question about beavers and you don't want to know what they were doing, something about desperate measures to survive and the removal of pleasure... Don't look it up, we already did,
That's how I fell down a rabbit hole and ended up at a waffle house at the end of the world,
It was never real anyway, just grown-ups with imaginations.
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