#Negative review

[whysowise]

a collection of negative reviews for pizza tower that i thought were funny

[highabovethecloudssomewhere]

I just read “Loveless” by Alice Oseman as someone who’s aroace and I am. Struggling.

I was expecting to love the book and I’m so, so happy to see aromanticism/asexuality in the public eye, but as far as the story/characters went I was really struggling. Maybe I’m too old for it but I found it… very lackluster. The characters felt deeply one-dimensional and I did not like the protagonist at all.

If any of you have read this book and really enjoyed the characters, I would love to hear more about it. Maybe I’m just missing something. But also if any of you have recommendations for LGBTQA+ media with engaging characters and an engaging story I would love some recommendations.

I also just watched Nimona for the first time and I absolutely adored it. Would absolutely recommend it to anyone.

[we-are-ignited]

CW: negative book comments/opinion

Fourth Wing is really just not fucking good.

This isn’t even about the author sucking (as a person).

Like, craft wise? I think it was badly written.

Paragraphs of info dumping instead of actual world building.

“Violence”

The War, which this whole school is about, is not really well described or thought out.

I know it’s really annoying to hear “show, don’t tell” all the time but my good fucking god this book doesn’t let you figure anything out.

All of the modern language, like “clusterfuck” and couple other phrases

Also I think a lot of ableds are calling this book “disability rep” but I’m gonna be so fucking for real? It’s…like really bare minimum.

I think that’s a stretch.

[the13problems]

Musical review - &Juliet

Contains semi spoilers, so don't read below if you are really hoping to see it.

Also, this is a personal review - I know for a fact that my opinion differed greatly from those I saw it with.

Synopsis - William Shakespeare and Ann Hathaway have creative disputes when writing bad Romeo and Juliet fanfiction together in an attempt to work out their martial issues.

Songs: A pop-laden jukebox musical. Having never seen a jukebox musical before (aside from the movie Mamma Mia!), I can see why they would be very difficult to write - none of the songs are purpose built and so, sometimes slot in awkwardly or feel much too on the nose. Music in musicals typically has a purpose, to show something the characters wouldn't be able to say for whatever reason. However, this largely isn't the case with &Juliet and so the songs feel shallow (there also was so many songs used, to the detriment). This, combined with all the songs being "top of the chart hits" made it feel tacky and lazy. The final song - Justin Timberlake's Can't Stop The Feeling was literally there "just because". I think there were only a few times I enjoyed the use of music in this show, and most of these were for comedic purposes rather than for character growth or plot development.

Plot/characters: The fanfiction plot is convoluted and the character presentations are shallow so I didn't ever feel like rooting for anyone as no one really gets a clear direction. Or, if they do, no character gets fleshed out beyond a few traits. I think this is because there's three romance plots in the one 'fanfiction plot'. But I think that does fit with the 'meta plot' of "two people fighting to create THEIR ideal story and losing direction", which is what I enjoyed the most.

Effects/Costumes: The costumes and backgrounds effects were really nice, I liked the 'modern Elizabethan' interpretation. The lighting and visual effects direction were also great (if a bit on the nose), and I think the casting was done quite well. The choreography was okay, but all the cast seemed to have really put their soul into it, which was good to see. Actually, hats off to the cast and crew, they made it into a fun, boppy performance.

Final thoughts: I don't this this was a great or even a good musical, but it was a fun performance.

2.5/5

[thebumpermagazine]

Avoid Foamstars while you can. (Review)

Late review but who cares.

I tried this game out on a lazy day when I had nothing else going on, needless to say, it was a massive waste of time. This game has been labeled as square's attempt at a splatoon clone. While I think it's fine a label, it does not begin to fully describe the issue this project has.

The Style

The game tries to achieve its own unique Vegas inspired art style. But, in trying desperately to do so, it ends up not even having one. Everything you see in this game looks like it's from something completely different, and not in a fun quirky way, but in one where it feels as if there was no proper management amongst the dev team. While this part confused me during my actual time with the game, we now know that square used AI art for the development, and now it all makes sense. While they specified they didn't use it for the "Core Elements" it makes me think what they consider core elements to be.

The Gameplay

On top of trying to be splatoon, it also tries to be a new exciting team based shooter, while missing the point of what makes a good team based shooter. I felt that all characters were almost identical to each other and did not make me feel like I was playing with someone different. It just felt like they had different reload times and area of damage, but that's about it. While I would like to say more on gameplay, I really can't because it's just sort of nothing but a splatoon clone while also trying to be tf2 or overwatch.

The Micro-transactions

This is the biggest complaint I've seen from people, the price of customization. Listen, I play my fair share of free games with microtransactions. I mean, I even have over a hundred hours in pso2. But, this isn't a free to play game that has some dlc to help further development, this is a game that you have to pay for. It doesn't affect gameplay at all, but it does make the actual reason this game exist obvious if it wasn't already. I have seen costumes go for about 9.99 and bundles going into the same price range as the game itself. What's even more hilarious is that (in my opinion) the costumes aren't even good enough to pay for to begin with, let alone paying the same price you did for the game.

Verdict

While I didn't pay for this game and got it through ps plus (like a majority of people) I know that if I did, I would want my money back immediately. This game from where I stand has no future and even if it fixes the gameplay It's still a game that ask way too high a price for both the main product + add-ons and also uses AI art, something that if stays in the industry will be abused to the point of putting others out of a job. I think you should avoid this game if you were on the fence about it, or if you're like me and were just trying it because you were bored. Trust me, it will bore you even further.

3/10

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Caught up with the most recent “Spy x Family” chapter. Gonna be honest, I’m glad the bus hijacking arc is done. It was pretty mediocre from a story perspective since it fell into the trap of “both sides are bad” that a lot of media falls into. Fascism is bad, but the people fighting fascism are also bad because they’re just crazy people who want to blow shit up. It’s overdone and feels like a copout since the writer can avoid actually discussing difficult topics by just pointing at the parties and saying, “Well, even if they had a point, you wouldn’t root for that guy because he wants to bomb people?”

It’s what HBomberGuy talked about in one of his videos, that writers will avoid actually talking about the ideologies/motives of sympathetic villains by having them do extremely crazy shit so that they’ll never be taken seriously. I’ll stop there because I’m getting flashbacks to season 1 of Legend of Korra, which I also hated.

And then there were other aspects of this arc that didn’t really land with me, such as sidelining Yor (again), Loid being absent, Yuri not really developing as a character, and the anticlimactic ending. Also, this was Spy x FAMILY, right? Because it feels more like Spy x Anya featuring Loid and sometimes Yor.

Literally the only part that I thought was genuinely great was the reveal that Damian’s mom has a dark side and that she might be the true villain of the series. It’s an expected twist, but I liked how it was revealed since only Anya knows the truth. Hopefully the next arc, which I assume will be about Dark Melinda, will be much better than the bus one.

[unsupervisedrat]

Short Review: Clean, the New Science of Skin

The book "Clean" was a disappointment. I went in expecting for arguments that showering is superfluous, or at least should be done without soap or other substances that deplete oils.

And it delivers this mainly by examining the health industry. There are chapters devoted to the history of soap, the current marketing of said soap, the difference (or lack thereof) between major brands and more "indie" takes. It speaks of purveyors of boutique bacterial sprays to replenish skin microbiome, and ponders the implication of their medicinal uses creeping into mainstream skincare marketing.

The book spends far less times on the far more interesting aspects. How did dermatologists find out that Staphylococcus Aureus is implicated in eczema? How do patients inoculated with saline/other bacterial blends react? Does this work on atopic dermatitis? Does it help with hay fever? Is there a difference in treating adults and treating children?

Are there studies on not showering? It'd be hard to blind, but if the effect sizes are large, then it'd be possible to gain some useful signals.

Are there disproportionate tradeoffs between those with the gene for oily apocrene secretions (non East Asians) vs those without (some East Asians)? How does this affect their skin microbiome, and whether they should shower?

The book reasons about its recommended course of action, less showering, less soap use, with an alarming lack of focus on the object level. It only does so in passing, to establish that we know something of how the skin works, and that soap is likely unnecessary except for our hands. And then spends five times as long looking at the insides of companies or industries.

[someonelookingpraediti]

Currently Reading...

The Kane Chronicles - Rick Riordan

These just took me so long to slog through. I really thought I was going to enjoy these but it was not to be. I had to take long breaks between each book, so it actually took me four months to get through the series. The only reason I persevered with them, is because there is a crossover book with Percy Jackson, and as I'm making my way through the PJ books, I want to get the full experience, reading all the crossovers, and in the right order!

I stormed through the first Percy Jackson series in five days, and although the second series took longer, I read all the books back to back. So I thought I'd have the same experience with these. There's only three, so I thought it would be easier, especially since I was 100% an Egyptian mythology kid when I was little (I still am, at heart).

For some reason, these just didn't work. The plot was nowhere near as good, and I think maybe it has to do with what was at stake? In PJO, the apocalypse didn’t really seem that important, the threat was to the demigods and their friends. But this series was massively about whether or not they'd prevent the end of the world, which... obviously they do.

I also hated the narration style. It's told as a dual POV, as a transcribed audio recording, with occasional aside comments between the pair. I hate that, it seems like something that would be better suited to a book aimed at six-year-olds, not twelve-year-olds. As an adult, this was an almost painful writing style to suffer. It's such a shame, because PJO is a first person narration that ages up alongside the main character - it's a delight to read. The Kane Chronicles are not.

It wasn't all bad. The characters were likeable, although other than the main two, there weren't that many characters worth noting. The mythology was fun to read about, and the gods and their powers worked in a very different way than the Greek gods in PJO, so it was nice to get some new lore for this series.

But on the whole, this was a necessary evil I had to slog through, and I definitely won't be recommending it to anyone.

[netscapenavigator-official]

Hold tf on. I just read that BOTH live action Scooby Doo movies from the early-mid 2000’s got negative reviews?? Wtf were movie critics smoking back then?

[elitheaceofalltrades]

To Make Monsters Out of Girls - Book Review

⭐:1 I'm not sure I've ever disliked a book as much as I disliked this one. I've definitely never disliked a poetry book as much as I disliked this one. In the end, between wanting it to end and regretting ever starting it, I found 13 poems that I liked, and some of those were more 'instagram poem you like once and never look back at' type than 'published poetry book worthy' type. So approximately 150 pages, and less than 15 enjoyable poems. Not only was the poetry boring, poorly formatted and poorly written for a lot of it, thematically it's supposed to be about being in an abusive relationship, getting out and healing from it. Instead the "healing" was just jumping straight into another relationship and this new partner, her sun-heart, healing her which I find problematic on a lot of levels. I'm not sure why this was labelled Feminism when it's all about men. Being hurt by one and healed by another. Because it's very much giving "the right man will come along and heal you" which is the antithesis of feminism.

~Eli

Ace of All Trades, Pro at None😆

Buy me a coffee

[rayreadsandposts]

Everyone Told Me This Book Is Good but I Don't Feel the Same

Ever came across this situation where your best friend or maybe your favorite bookstagrammer recommended a book… you welcomed it with open arms but you didn’t like it? This post is for you! It often happens that the person with whom you click the most suggests a book to you OR the whole Bookstagram community, that is going crazy over a book, makes you buy a book and give it a try. You read it,…

[iphigeniarising]

Reading The Prince’s Poisoned Vow, the first in the Infernal War Saga by Hailey Turner. I’m halfway through and so far most of the “action” has been offscreen. Everything’s focused on various romances and rather than showing any of the politics that seem to be so important in this world the author just tells us about it. 

There are so many parts in this book that feel disjointed and poorly (if at all) edited. Almost every character has their own point of view chapter and it makes the story seem very slow and the aforementioned focus on romantic relationships (like does every single character need to be involved with someone?) doesn’t help. There’s a lot of worldbuilding for a story that genuinely seems to be going nowhere, which is unfortunate because as I stated before, I’m halfway through the book.

I feel like I haven’t been given a chance to care about any of the characters because of the constant POV switching. The thing that interests me the most is whatever the Wardens have going on, and even that character’s POV is focused on the guy he’s sleeping with rather than the actual crisis that seems to be happening, a crisis which I only know is an actual problem because the characters and narration explicitly say so, not because it’s actually shown as such.

I know it’s listed as romance, but like. Why does it seem like the plot is only happening to characters when I’m not reading about them?

TL;DR, I don’t care about this book at all. Unless it gets good really quickly in the second half I won’t bother reading the others.

[violatememoreplease]

Witchy review #2: Moon Magic

For my second review I thought I'd maybe go a bit controversial and pick a popular (or at least one that was heavily featured on witchtube) book that I didn't like. If this is your fave, and you don't want to read some asshole tear in to it, you should probably just stop reading here...

Author: Diane Ahlquist Length of the book: 6 h 43 min

Verdict: One of the worst books on magic I've read. Directly harmful in some places.

Would I recommend the book?: I mean... If you really LOVE the moon to the point where you want every single waking moment planned after what planet she's currently in... I guess? But I feel like there are other similar books out there (that doesn't recommend you postpone cancer operations until the moon is in waining...).

Description: I was planning on buying this one, then - thank the Gods - I found it on Storytel and listened to it before I threw away my money on That Woman. I was looking for a book that delwed a little deeper in to the symbolism the moon takes depending on which month it is, maybe a deep dive in to the moonphases etc. That was about 1/10 of the book. The rest was... Well, just sit down and get ready. Maybe hold someones hand, cause this shit gets scary at times…

After she - with as few sentenceses as possible - written two very short chapters about what I actually wanted to read about she had a chapter about the moons effect on nature, humans and animals. In the chapter she mixes in personal anecdotes that makes it clear that I would not want Diane in my life; like the fact that she tried to foist her theory about moonphases on to some poor interiour designer that she'd "discovered made much more inspired designs" during the full moon - as opposed to the rest of her designs that was "plain, and something easily done by oneself". Note: This interior designer was not pagan/ spiritual or anything of the sorts. Diane also bribed someone she was vaguely aquainted with to write a sleep journal for FIVE MONTHS, just to prove that the person slept best during the dark moon).

After this Diane wrote a chapter about the scientific facts about the moon. Let's be clear: In principle, I think this is a great idea, and I love mixing science with magick - one can never have to much knowledge imo! However, this chapter was so uninspiring and boring that I - and I'm really not joking here - lost my faith in magick and became atheist for about 20 minutes. Granted, I was hungry at the time, but how does something like that even happen??! I had (at the point of writing this review in my BoS) been a practising pagan for over 2 years, but her writing style was so boring that I lost my faith... This book is something else. After I'd eaten and contemplated some of John Becketts writings (which will probably be a future review) I realized that I'm still pagan, it's just that this woman is insane. With that in mind, I figured it would probably be good for a hate-listening.

Diane feels that you should plan your entire life after the moons phases (and their corresponding weekdays). Not only when to do spells or rituals - but when you should book a dentist appointment, ask someone out, buy a pet - check your moon calender first! Is it a waining moon on a Wednesday? Better not risk it. She writes - in all seriousness - that she thinks you should consult a professional astrologist before you buy a pet.

She brings up how the moon can "help you loose weight" if you only "start your diet in the right phase of the moon", which is something she writes about in total 10 times, of which she at one time characterises it as "smaller moon, smaller waistline". As someone who's recovered from eating disorder, and since then has been an advocate for Health At Every Size - Yuck! I wanted a book about the moon, I don't remember inviting Diane to talk about weight loss?? At one point in the book she claims that the moonphase, combined with the weekday, would decide the gender of the baby. (Doubtful, but ok...) Later she writes about a lithuanian folktradition about the making of babies and comments “no doubt this was to make the boys stardy and the girls slim and delicate”. And why wouldn't one want a stardy girl or a delicate boy? Way to go in the crusty gendernorms D! On the topic of children btw; Diane thinks that the moonfases are so important that you should teach your children about them, so that they can schedule when to meet friends, study for tests etc according to the phases of the moon.

The worst part in the book is what D recommends when it comes to using the moonphases for medicinal procedures. Gods dammit. Anyways. Of course she writes that if it's a life-threatening emergency one should go through with the necessary operations, but in all other cases one should adapt to - you guessed it - the moonphases. One should never voulontarily get an operation when Mercury is in retrograde - which btw is 3 times a year, 3 weeks at a time... So for over two months every year no-one should get surgery unless it's an emergency... Seems like a healthy belief... Diane also want you to keep track on what zodiac the moon is in; this is because the zodiacs represent different parts of the body; If the moon is in the zodiac for the bodypart that you're operating, that means the operation isn't going to go well - you should probably postpone it. She justifice the claim with "we've known this since Ancient Times", and uses in this argument a new definition of "known" for me; since that theory has been completely disproven since the 1800s (at one time we "knew" that bloodletting was the cure-all for any deasise, but I guess that one isn't centered enough in astrology for her). The part about how medicine should be planned in accordance with the moon is so important for her that she brings it up two times in her book. In the latter one she claims that one should schedule when to remove fucking SKINCANCER AND TUMOURS after the moonphases (in waining, since that is when to get rid of things). I would urge anyone that has cancerous growth tho remove it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, since delaying it can be FUCKING DEADLY.

Nearing the end of the book D walks us through the chinese zodiacs. All different versions, connected to positive/ negative, what animal and what element every year from 1930 to 2044 has. The does not explain anything about how these circumstances affects anything, she only lists them. Like - as a somewhat made up example (since I don't have the enery to look it up) - "1954: Rooster in wood, positive"... Okayy?? And since her spann is huge, this section goes on forever. I understand that isn't as dangerous as recommending to postpone surgeries, but it's also time that I will never get back, and I'd like you to spare a thought for me who had to listen to all of this.

When you see a book named "Moon Magic" one would think that it would be a pagan/ secular witch who wrote the book, and that it would at least share some of your worldviews, but that's a no from me Sir. It feels more like a wannabe hippie appropriates pagan and native american beliefs, and wrote a book about it for those cashinos babey! Because of course she uses the word "smudging" instead of smoke cleansing, but also take it one step further with the sentence “Did your ex just move out? Give it a smudge!” A smudge of what, Diane? More bullshit? Okay, let's go! The Law of Attraction is definetly real (and not remotely an ablephobic, classist grift to make people complacent): So be sure to always think positive thoughts! Don't ever complain or be negative; That's how you bring on misfortune! And heres the thing (sssschhhhhh, it's a secret!); If you make a "vision board" and write extremely clearly and focus on it every day... It will Magically just pop up one day! But make sure that jus extra super very clear - otherwise you might end up with a yellow car instead of a red one (the horror!) - but you will Absolutely get a Mercedes as long as you focus enough, don't experience negative emotions, and use the power of the moon to get it!

Lastly she writes about setting up an altar for the moon, where you are supposed to put something that represents divinity to you. She gives us some different possibilities here, like: 1. The cross, 2. A picture of Jesus, 3. A statue of Buddha, or even... (her words, not mine) 4. A God or Goddess. Wow, Diane, do you mean that I can view divinity in the same way as those who originally worshipped the moon? Thank you, I feel so honored <3

[enixamyram]

Thor Love and Thunder Review

Summary... I didn't like it.

Warning Spoilers Bellow:

Little Pet Peeve: I really resent that I was expecting a film of Thor and the Guardians and instead they got rid of the Guardians as soon as they could. Makes Thor leaving with them at the end of the last film extremely pointless.

Now I know this is an unpopular opinion but I was not the biggest fan of Thor Ragnarok. It was a funny film and alright on its own but I just felt it didn't flow with the rest of the MCU films and the scenes kind of just bounced along from point to point in a way that didn't seem to fit smoothly. And in a way, this film is very much the same but also worse.

For starters, the tone seemed all over the place. When it was funny, it was very funny. When it was scary, it was very scary. It might have worked individually. Altogether? It feels like a mess. Like the funny parts and the scary parts should be their own movies but instead, for some reason, they're pushed together into one film that gives me whiplash and I kind of get confused on how I'm supposed to be feeling. I mean one minute you have the villain ripping off heads of creatures and throwing it at the kids to terrify them, the next you have Zeus and the other Gods talking about the orgy they're planning to have.

There was also so much that was so forced purely for plot convenience and it really isn't subtle. Axl for example. Heimdall's son, who appears from nowhere, doesn't have any emotional connection to his deceased father (or anyone really) and is purely around so they can use Heimdall's powers when convenient to move the story along. Like when he needs to help Thor figure out where they are, or at the end when he can get the kids out of there so Thor can focus on fighting.

Or how Thor can suddenly temporarily bestow his powers onto all the kids at the end. Where was this power before?! There's no real explanation for why he can suddenly do it now so all I can think is that I'm sure Steve, Tony and everyone else would have really appreciated a bit of a God-boost when they were fighting Thanos.

Then there's Jane. Now Mighty Thor was my biggest reason for going to see the film and I adored every scene she was in. The action and emotional scenes with her were on point and amazing!

Only they decided to just kill her off at the end and like the rest of the film, it feels so tacked on for the convenience of the plot.

Like it was done to manipulate the audience into rooting for Thor taking in the Gorr's daughter. It's so painful how obvious it is. I mean, Thor's girlfriends dying and the Love's dad is dying so hey, now they're alone they can just slot together and make a sad ending a happy ending, look how well that works out.

It did have some good things. - Like I said, it was funny and scary when it wanted to be. - All Mighty Thor scenes were wonderful. - I loved all Korg and Valkyrie moments. - Even the parts that were bad were still entertaining. I may have issues with how he can suddenly hand out his powers, sure, but it was still a lot of fun to see a dozen kids running around and fighting with Thor's powers (the girl with the stuffed toy cracked me up)! - And I am looking forward to what they'll do with Love now since she's kind of a blank slate at the moment that has a lot of potential.

But in general, very disappointed. I hoped for so much more. Was very let down in the end.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Just read the latest “Spy x Family” chapter (77). Since I’ve been mainly negative towards this series recently, I won’t repeat my previous points. All I’ll say is, I thought this chapter was going somewhere, maybe set up a direct connection to Loid and Yor’s relationship…and then it didn’t. So we got another filler chapter that’s probably not going to go anywhere, which wouldn’t be too bad but it sticks out like a sore thumb since the actual story (the dark side of Melinda Desmond) is not being explored enough. And again, where is Yor? You’d think she’d be getting more of the spotlight since she’s the one who befriended Melinda.

For a grade…let’s say 5/10? I’d be nicer, but I haven’t really been enjoying this series recently.

[mk-wizard]

Scorn: A review on a studio’s first experiment

Hi, people. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a huge fan of survival horror and H.R. Giger’s work hence why I am also a HUGE fan of the Alien series. With that said, I had to check out the long awaited, long longed for video game Scorn that was meant to not be like others of its genre. Well, here is my opinion on it...

I warn in advance that this is going to be a negative review.

The scenery and atmosphere were absolutely disturbing, disgusting and horrific which amazing. It’s like the whole world was a character within itself. I also like how the protagonist (who I’ll call “Scorn Guy” since it has become their popular nickname) is an alien themself making them part of the creep factor. The metaphors behind everything were also genius. I also appreciated that the plot and story were told by showing rather than telling. There are no words or dialogue whatsoever. Sadly, these are the only positive things I can say about the game.

Scorn’s biggest downfall is that it relied on its obvious features way too much to the point where the gore no longer creeped you out. In fact, within half an hour, it started to become repetitive. Moreover, the game felt more depressed than scary. And I understand that it was meant to be sad and depressing, but I mean the gameplay felt depressed and tired even when encountering enemies which is a big minus in a survival horror game. In the end, everything became predictable including the ending and while admit that it suited the game, knowing how the story is going to end when you’re only halfway through the game makes it all the more demotivating to play. While Scorn’s style of storytelling suits a comic or even a film with no dialogue, in the form of a game, it just feels like it’s dragging its feet. As much as I feel bad saying this, at one point, I even wondered if I was looking at a rough draft.

However, I do still see the potential in the studio that developed it. The graphics, art and music are solid, and I would love to see another game produced by them though next time, they really have to work on pacing, delivery of the plot and keeping the player excited and surprised. I do believe in them. I just think that their first piece, like for most artists, Scorn was flawed. And that is ok.

Overall, Scorn was clearly an experimental piece which was not what I hoped for, but it does get me excited to see what the makers can do next, and I have faith that anyone who can make games this stunning to look at can definitely make ones that are fun to play. They just have make sure every part of the game is great not just visuals..

Overall, I give Scorn a 3/10. I loved the art and music, but playing it was not fun and I did not love that.

EDIT: PS: I get that they meant for everything to left to the imagination and for everything about Scorn to be one big mystery. I also get that some questions will never be answered, but when not even a single one is answered and we’re left to guess everything, that’s not fun. It’s confusing.